sawiet - Tumblr blog

[sawiet]

your father will never realize how much pain he really caused you

[sawiet]

me having tried suicide, therapy, esotericism and religion to get rid of the existential emptiness realize that there is no salvation (i am 21)

[sawiet]

[sawiet]

in general, for some time i've been nurturing an idea for a fanfic, in which naruto gets a job as a gardener (or someone else) in the wealthy uchiha household. there he meets sasuke, who is well-educated, smart, handsome, but sometimes a bit sarcastic or condescending (this is by no means arrogance, it's just that sometimes he finds it amusing that naruto doesn't know famous writers or musicians, doesn't understand political stuff).

naruto, who had never before thought about his origin, upbringing, and education, begins to feel a huge gap between him and sasuke; and the worst part is that it sincerely affects him. since the central plot revolves around sasuke and naruto's relationship, one of the main (but not the only) reasons for naruto's changes and re-education is the desire to become equal to sasuke. naruto dreams of understanding his jokes, engaging in conversations, and being interesting to sasuke in return. but for now, he only feels ashamed of himself and looks at sasuke as if from "below upwards," as something unattainable.

sasuke notices these emotional struggles, but doesn't quite understand the exact reason. naruto likes him, but he always feels that there is something more behind it, something he's afraid to even say out loud. when naruto becomes too obvious in his emotions, sasuke gets scared and chooses to distance himself (again: it's not about naruto's social status, but rather about the unconventional feelings and fear of letting down his family). naruto interprets this incorrectly, and... *here you can insert any sad gay drama*

naruto doesn't give up his pursuits; he reads books, watches serious movies, meets new people, changes many jobs, each time getting better and better positions. where does all this lead? he finally understands what sasuke was talking about, what he was joking about; sometimes naruto even realizes that he doesn't agree with him on everything. he dreams of meeting him again (it's been about five years? you choose the timeframe), but not out of a malicious desire to make an impression, but just to talk, as he always dreamed.

personally, i'm not a fan of bad endings, so in my version, they meet again, gradually getting used to each other again. at first, perhaps, it's awkward because they parted on a bad note, but over time, it gets better. they cautiously learn about each other's lives, notice changes, maturity, adulthood in each other. hidden feelings burst out again with renewed strength, but they're no longer the same teenagers (okay, they were about twenty?), so they don't repeat past mistakes. they're okay and love each other.

the more i thought about this idea, the more it seemed to me that i had already seen it somewhere. there are many historical novels and movies about class division and impossible love. the answer found me today: it's damn "martin eden." the funniest thing is that i never liked this book (or jack london's work in general). but now i want to go back to this work after many years and discover something new in it. so you could say that the fanfic is partially inspired by this book, even if i didn't suspect it.

[sawiet]

i love it

[sawiet]

look! the moonlight shows us for what we really are. we are not among the living, and so we cannot die — but neither are we dead.

[sawiet]

as someone who cares about how good parents my favorite characters are i look at naruto and sasuke in season three: well... yeah.

[sawiet]

the biggest lie of my life was when they told me that naruto was an anime about optimism and motivation. bitch i cried my eyes out and got really depressed

[sawiet]

l genuinely need someone to give me a list of marauders' most beloved fiction recs, pls help

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sometimes i feel like my whole identity is built on my bpd and i have nothing else

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the only hetero pair in naruto that attracts me is shikamaru and ino. they are not a canonical couple but they look great together. you can move them to a modern reality where they are still childhood friends but with benefits and they agree that between them only friendly sex because it is convenient while they have no one else. the nature of these characters are just like that: they are hard to confuse and they are quite straightforward in their desires. but sooner or later there are real deep romantic feelings and they make a terrific couple

[sawiet]

what if i was devoted to you as a knight is to his king and became your right hand and sword and i was ready to lay my life for you and your dreams

what if i was devoted to you as a dog is to his owner and i would attack and maul anyone who dared to touch you but i’d also bite and claw you if you ever tried to leave me

what if

[sawiet]

eveeyones got it wrong your mid 20s arent for going to the club or partying or picking up new crafts. your 20s are for discovering how much more autistic you are than you thought you were in high school

[sawiet]

Just create the thing you want to create. Because who's going to stop you? Oh, it's you yourself? Well you can't let that bastard win, can you?

[sawiet]

i like to treat people who hurt me well because the best punishment is their conscience

[sawiet]

in the valley of the end sasuke wanted to kiss naruto so badly. he should have done it

[sawiet]

I really just saw a fic where naruto is white british..