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Tonight

I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything - and I have no idea why.

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We are the weirdos, mister😎

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Feeling very much

a l o n e

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I think everyone should stop thinking so black and white when it comes to love.

“If she loved me, should would’ve done this. So she doesn’t.” Or “He said this, so he doesn’t love me”

Everyone loves in different ways and has different capacity’s to which they are able to love.

That person who treats you poorly, they might not be lying when they say it.

They very well may love you - but only to the fullest capacity in which they are able to.

However, you have the right to decide if that type of love is not for you. And that is okay.

Accept that the way they love you is not what you want, need or deserve.

Let you both find someone who matches your love styles so you can be happy.

Find someone who loves you how you love. ❤️

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Sometimes when you feel alone

It’s cause you are.

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Everyone always says to reach out when feeling lonely or depressed or suicidal.

But once I do, I find there’s not a single soul in sight.

- Thanks for the hollow words that lead to another disappointment to remind me of how alone I really am.

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You’re outlook will switch up once you finally understand that

No one is against you,

They are just for themselves.

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i don’t want to move on

i don’t want to heal

i don’t want to forget

i’m clinging to my hurt and my grief and these feelings that have been eating me alive for these past years

because

this pain is the only thing i have left of what was

and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to let go

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“Don’t defy me. You’re no match for me.”

- Jareth, The Goblin King (The Labyrinth)

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Maybe

I'm your karma

For every person you've ever hurt

And now you will feel it, too.

- sucks to suck, bitch

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Swear to god

To some dudes

Hearing their girl

Stagger their breathing

While they struggle

To sob as silently as possible

Because of the hurtful shit they did

That is their lullaby

And it's sick as fuck.

- Why do you have to be so disgusting?

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I'm wandering

I'm lost 

And I keep trying to desperately seek finding

Maybe for myself

Or for direction

Or maybe meaning

I look for it in a high

I look for it in a buzz

I look for it in people

So at what point

Do I stop searching?

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have you ever had someone hurt you so badly

that anytime you let your mind wander to even the thought of it

it’s like you can physically feel it?

like inside your being burned and everything is being ripped down and shoved into the pit of your stomach?

-how am i supposed to get over it if i can’t even bear the slightest reminder of it?

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i can feel

the skies for all of

my cravings to be loved

my curiosity to genuinely understand

my seemingly boundless love for others

are darkening

i can literally feel my heart becoming black.

- i don’t know if i should be scared or relieved.