#& i dont know if i should remove it or if it's protecting my computer

[tamagotchikgs]

finding norton on my laptop like,,, thats suspicious,,, thats weird,,,,

[borom1r]

Y'know the middle space on bingo cards, the free space? This is your free ask to ramble about Eric in any way you please

🥺🥺🥺 tyyyyyyy;;;

i feel like a broken record kinda when i talk abt eric but i never get enough of it bc he is just soooooooo complex nd as much as i like horror its not a gr8 breeding ground fr complex characters. let alone complex characters with issues. god forbid a protagonist have those (sarcasm)

nd i dont mean to excuse his actions but like we're fed John's perceptions of Eric, perceptions which have been established since the first film to be fundamentally wrong. Lawrence loved his family, he didn't want to abandon them even if he wasn't happy. Adam wanted to become a vet, he fed stray cats outside of his apartment. John perceived Lawrence as uncaring, Adam as apathetic, and determined those were crimes punishable by death.

and Eric— he's sooooo interesting because arguably John isn't wrong. Eric has anger issues, his wife left him and he's growing apart from his child, and he has ruined the lives of multiple people including Amanda. he's not a saint. he's not a hero. but what's missing from the picture John tries to paint is that Eric is actively trying to change.

he has anger issues, he hurt people, so he removed himself from fieldwork and started focusing instead on deskwork, avoiding active investigations to the point where Kerry criticizes him. his wife left him, and he's presumably ended his affair with Kerry; too little too late, sure, but he learned a lesson. Daniel doesn't want to be around him and Eric blows up— only to call Daniel once he's cooled off and apologize, requesting that Daniel call him to let Eric know he's ok.

Eric is not a good man. But he is trying to improve, to reign in his temper and be a better person, especially for Daniel. and that's so!!! like that is EXACTLY what John says he wants. for people to learn a lesson, for them to stop taking their lives for granted and become "better" (bullshit, but whatever). and like, Eric does actually have work to do and should be trying to better himself but there's making an effort and there's being tortured by a serial killer with a god complex.

and then, there's watching your child get tortured while said serial killer sits in front of you and gloats about how much of a piece of shit you are. and, really, Eric holds himself together exceptionally well. better than I could. if I was in his shoes, if one of my little brothers was in the nerve gas house, I'd have been across that table with my knife jammed where the sun don't shine faster than you could say "game over." Eric does not violently explode until Kerry and Rigg push him to. His first instinct, upon seeing those computers, is to sit down, cover his mouth, and cry. and then he plays until his friends say "hey, we need you to get violent." and he fucking struggles with it.

he doesn't just snap, it isn't a switch he flips— he's been caging his anger and wants to keep it caged and we are Shown That. he is quite literally shot through the chain link fence of that caged-off area, quick flashes between shots of him staring vacantly and shots of him yelling and shaking the fence. it's safe to say this isn't literal what's happening— it's a visual representation of an internal debate. and you know what wins out? the need to protect his child.

so he sinks to violence he's been desperately trying never to sink to again and even still, he only really unleashes that rage when John says "whose...son hates him." he's standing around tearing up blueprints looking bored until that line leaves John's lips. then he snaps, then he lashes out violently and god, I don't see how anyone could fault him. I don't see how anyone could sympathize with John!! even Leigh himself said he was surprised people sided with John instead of Eric!!!

and while in II we're John's perceptions, in III we get Amanda's— who is established to have an even more severe and negative bias. and again, I'm not saying Eric was in the right for attacking her the way he did, in fact I'd argue its a fundamental moment which cements her perception that people cannot change. HOWEVER. Eric was not there when Kerry and Rigg discovered the feed of the house was prerecorded, as far as Eric knows Daniel is still in active danger or worse, dead, and Amanda's tape has inextricably linked her to Jigsaw + therefore cast herself as one of Daniel's torturers/murderers. and Eric won his game. Amanda left the saw within his reach on purpose, she's not stupid, this wasn't an execution— Eric won, he walked out of that bathroom with a shattered foot screaming for Daniel (only screaming for Daniel, never for help, never anyone else's name). of course he attacked her. of course.

as ive said before, Eric is a deeply, deeply flawed character but that's what makes him so interesting!!! he's so compelling because he is not a good person, but he is trying and yes, he is fundamentally angry. that rage is a core character trait, but so is his love. he is FULL of undeniable love for his child to the point that he'd tear the world apart to protect Daniel!!!! and isn't that just another hypocrisy on John's part? what brought this all about if not Gideon's death? who should understand the deep-seated need to protect your child more than Jigsaw himself?

Logan's faulty trap earns him a spot as a disciple, while Adam's carelessly-placed key slipping down the drain is a fatal sin. John's rage and desire for vengeance after losing Gideon makes him a messiah, while Eric's condemns him to 6 months of the most inhumane torture in the franchise.

he is just..... soooooooo much that it drives me insane!! he is such an astoundingly deep character n i love him;;

[scary-lasagna]

Eyeless jack and whoever else u want with an nonbinary s/o that wants top surgery? We need more love!

Special Thanks to op I stumbled upon on my home page!!! V convenient timing!!! https://sabertoothwalrus.tumblr.com/post/162712106512/ctimbro93-ctimbro93-things-they-dont-tell

I’m sorry if I didn’t cover everything!! I did hecka research tho and tried to make some key points I wanted the creeps to see. Y’ALl DO NeEd mORe LOve! Now, for a limited time offer, you can send your love to a nonbinary friend today for only $0. Also, I lied about the limited time offer part.

Eyeless Jack

This boi is interested asf

He’ll hit the books as soon as you mention it

He’ll start mother henning around the house

Stocking up on pain killers, pillows, your favorite foods, things of that sort.

Also, he might snatch some scar removal creme in the drug store, and maybe some calamine lotion for the itchy stitches.

He would offer to do it himself, but he doesn’t have any background in that field of medicine.

He’s more of an internal organs kind of guy.

He’ll be very encouraging but also cautious to make sure you know everything you need to know.

Like how the surgical area has numbness for a few weeks

Or how you might need to sleep alone until you get comfortable in the stitches

He might even buy some new clothes for you that 100% will not aggravate the stitches.

He’d check around, asking questions and going out of his comfort zone to find out if he missed any information.

Other than that, he’s supportive and proud you!!!

* * *

Once you come home, he’s already slipped into protective aftercare mode.

Pillows are set up in your favorite spots, along with extension cords for your computer, phone, and such so you don’t have to move around.

And don’t expect to lift anything heavier than a water bottle.

Sometimes he’ll forget about himself, to which you’ll have to remind him to relax a little. 

Either that or his cravings start to take over, which will make him a lil grumpy.

But when he gets his nom-noms it’s all good.

You’ll catch him checking up on you in the middle of the night often.

And he’ll give you a lil kiss on the temple.

Jeff

Okay, let’s be clear.

This boy is hella lazy.

But he’ll be more vocal than usual when it comes to supporting you.

“Yeah, fuck it, go nuts. You do what you gotta do.”

It doesn’t sound like much, but that’s a fucking gold mine coming out of his mouth.

When you start to prep things, he’ll try. That’s what matters.

He’ll find himself looking around victim’s houses for Tylenol or ibuprofen.

Perhaps even some clothes he’d think wouldn’t feel too bad against the scar tissue.

He’s had stitches before, and they’re not too fun.

So, in his own weird way, he holds some sympathy for what you’re going to be going through after you get the surgery.

He’ll consult Jack, and perhaps even Dr. Smiley, who will give him some advice on after-care. And before-care for that matter.

“Just…try to be nice and have compassion for once. Just this once, Jeff.”

This will cause him to be weirdly nice to the point where it creeps you out and you have to tell him to stop.

He’ll be nervous yet excited around the days leading up to your surgery.

Mostly excited about how Fuckgin aMaZIng you’ll look.

* * *

It was genuinely surprising when you came home and the house was fucking spotless.

Pillows were set up on the couch and bed. 

He would 100% carry you if it meant not disturbing your stitches.

You’ll often have to bother him to pick something up for you though.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to, he just doesn’t want to get up.

But then he’s reminded why you’re not allowed to pick up heavy items in the first place and forces himself to where you’re at in the house.

He’ll switch between being a guard dog, a sleeping dumbass, and a new york city intern.

No one will be able to bother you or talk to you if Jeff’s around. 

Unless it’s to tell people about how good you look.

Other times he’ll be lazy and pretend to be asleep when you ask him to fetch you some water from the fridge.

But Jesus, on some days he’ll get the fucking moon for you. 

Even if you just mention something you might need soon, he’ll get that shit immediately.

But you’ll definitely catch him staring and being more affectionate on some days.

He’ll just get to thinking how grateful he really should be to get someone as beautiful as you by his side.

[milknette]

day 15 - mythical creatures

how i miss yesterday, and how i’d let it fade away.

tumblr month: @auyeahaugust

links: ao3 | ff.net

THE Agreste Mansion could have been beautiful, if not for the overgrown greenery and rusted fence that decorate the estate's exterior.

It looks like the textbook definition of what a haunted house is.

Marinette should be scared.

Instead, she takes out her cellphone, turns it on, faces the camera, and...

Goes live.

"Hey everyone, Marinette here!" She starts, waving almost awkwardly at the camera. (Thousands of viewers come storming into the live in seconds.) "So… welcome to the Ladybug— crap, I mean, the Ladyblog!"

Noticing that the camera is angled a little too low, she shifts to show herself better.

(Wow, she really is bad at this.)

"As you all know, or maybe you don't, haha… I'm heading the vlog for today!" She tries to smile, but it's clearly panicked. "Alya couldn't come back with me to Paris, unfortunately, and you all really wanted to see us cover the Agreste story so…," she moves along with the camera, trying to show off her surroundings.

(Nobody watching has the heart to tell her they can't see anything because her head's covering half the screen.)

"I'll be heading this adventure myself!" Marinette scratches her head awkwardly, and almost drops her phone as she hears a sudden crack! behind her. "Ohmygod what was that—"

She immediately turns the camera, only to notice a black cat pass behind her.

Its vivid green eyes almost make her shudder.

"Black cat," Marinette mutters to herself. "Sure, like I didn't know this was a terrible idea already.

She remembers a little too late that she's still online.

"I mean! This is going to be fun! Let's do this!"

The chatbox is filled with messages, but they all really say the same thing:

This is going to be a trainwreck.

But I am going to enjoy absolutely every minute of it.

(She pointedly ignores these messages and goes forward.)

Marinette walks towards the estate, using a key to unlock the rusted gate to the Agreste residence.

"If you're all wondering how I got entry to this place," she starts. "One of our subscribers actually helped us out," she turns towards the camera and smiles. "So Chloé Bourgeois, thanks a lot!"

(Yeah, thanks for giving her no choice but to go through with this video.)

"If it weren't for you, this video wouldn't be possible at all."

The gate opens with a resounding creaaaaak and Marinette has to force the unbothered smile on her face.

"Alright, let's go in."

.

.

.

[ INSTAGRAM STORY: maribug ]

"Hi guys! In case you don't know the story of the Agrestes, please swipe up with an article Alya wrote on the story below. As usual, be warned for creepy content!"

The Mysterious Disappearances of the Agreste Family

Almost five years ago, the Agrestes were the so-called 'it family' of Paris, France. Their family consisted of top fashion designer Gabriel, his beautiful wife, Emilie, and their only son, Adrien— a teenage model for his father's brand early on. In the public's eyes, this was a picture-perfect family.

However, this was soon revealed to be a ruse.

In 20XX, Emilie Agreste suddenly passed away. The family refused to comment and held a private funeral. A few weeks later, residents were surprised to find large fences erected around the residence, gating outsiders from entering the home. Father and son withdrew from contact with the outside world, aside from secretary Nathalie Sanceour and Adrien Agreste's unnamed personal bodyguard, nicknamed 'The Gorilla'.

Any media or news shared about the family were quickly taken down. For a long time, any and all information about the death of Emilie Agreste was removed— presumably by the husband himself.

News on the Agrestes stayed quiet for a year, until Adrien was spotted attending a local high school.

This was only for a day. After finding out about Adrien's attempted "escape", he was quickly returned to the premises and brought home.

The school refused to comment when we asked for an interview.

Due to limited information, little is known about what happened next.

The most accepted story, however, is that after Adrien was returned home, the Agrestes completely dropped off the radar. Even Gabriel Agreste was completely unreachable to his company.

Both Nathalie Sancoeur and 'The Gorilla' we're suddenly fired and removed from the premises without warning.

After a year of silence from the family, Sancoeur was finally given a warrant to enter the Agreste Mansion with the police force.

The mansion was empty. In fact, it seemed that nobody had occupied the space in months. A written report states that a cup of coffee Sancoeur remembers making from Mr. Agreste, on the day of her sudden termination, remained to be on his desk.

No sign of forced entry or violence was taken note of. They had just… disappeared.

A nationwide search was held to find the father-son duo, but to no avail. They were not found alive nor dead. The police soon branded this a cold case and filed it away.

Sancoeur was given control over the Agreste brand. 'The Gorilla' was also rehired to be her assistant.

Both declined to comment and continue to avoid topics talking about the Agreste family.

The mansion has been left untouched since then.

Until now.

(Please follow TheLadyblog on Instagram, tomorrow by 8PM vlogger Marinette Dupain-Cheng will visit the abandoned residence!)

.

.

The house is huge.

Marinette enters into a large foyer, run-down from years of neglect and disrepair. The pristine white of the walls have faded into a dull gray, complemented with spiderwebs in almost every corner. She holds her flashlight almost like a weapon.

Then, she switches to the front camera and shows the audience her surroundings.

"As you can see, the house seems untouched from when its previous owners lived here," Marinette begins, holding back the need to shudder. "Chloé messaged me that she ensured nobody else lived or even came in its vicinity," she explains, her tone turning more empathetic. "Apparently she and Adrien used to be friends, and she's still hoping that he'll come back to claim the house someday."

(Personally, Marinette doesn't think that he will— doesn't think he can, really— but decides to keep that little fact to herself.)

She turns the camera back to her.

"So anyway, I was given a floor plan to the building," she continues, raising up a piece of paper and showing it to her viewers. "Since the mansion is huge, and I can't possibly visit all the rooms tonight, tell me where you want to go!"

The comments flood in, and the answer is unanimous:

The previous room of Adrien Agreste.

.

.

Marinette opens the door carefully.

The door squeaking isn't that loud, but it echoes throughout the corridor and makes things so much creepier than they have to be.

She bites her lip, and enters the room— which takes up almost the entire second floor story.

Arcade stations, computers, games, books, and CDs fill up the entire floor. A television screen almost three times bigger than she is lays upon the wall. A basketball half-court decorates one side of the room. There are more doors which likely lead to other things to see, but she decides to check that later on.

"Okay, I don't think I'll do this room justice with a phone camera and a flashlight for lighting, but this is amazing," Marinette raves. "I feel like this is a teenage boy's dream room. Honestly, it's my dream room." She laughs to herself lightly, turning the front camera on. "Though I'd maybe change out the basketball court for my personal sewing space."

(Marinette briefly wonders why anyone would want to leave such a place, but dismisses the thought almost immediately; realizing that none of it could be enjoyed at all if she were alone.)

In fact, standing in the middle of it at that moment made her feel much lonelier than she was previously.

Except, she's not alone.

But Marinette's too busy looking around to notice the increasingly panicked messages of her viewers:

do yall

u all see that right…..

ohmygod is-

IS THAT REAL WTH

MARINETTE OMG

PLEASE TURN AROUND

RUN? DONT LOOK BACK?

PROTECT OUR SWEET SUMMER CHILD

I CANNOT WATCH ANOTHER LIVE WHERE SOMEONE GETS MURDERED PLS

CHECK UR MESSAGES GIRL !

Noticing her phone buzz with messages, she clicks on the tab that opens them.

Marinette's eyebrows wrinkle together.

"What are you guys talking abou—"

A scream, the sound of her phone cracking, and the live video suddenly being turned off.

well, there goes ½ of the ladyblog…

.

.

Alya wakes up to her phone overflowing with messages.

The first one she reads is extremely straightforward:

HELP I THINK MARINETTE'S DEAD

So understandably, she does what any good friend would do.

Think it's a prank set up by Marinette (for making her hold the live without her), get irritated, send her a 'haha nice try mari but dead is a stretch' message, then immediately go back to sleep.

Marinette, however, never gets the message.

.

.

It's easy to panic when death's staring you right in the face.

So she does, because death is quite literally staring right at her.

In the form of a sixteen-year-old boy whose face she knew all too well from all the hidden fashion magazines her teenage self hid under her bed.

Adrien Agreste.

(Well, at least now the question of did-he-live was answered. A stone-cold, dead, nope!)

And also, ghosts really do exist— who knew?

(The so-called paranormal expert didn't, apparently.)

The ghost moves toward her, as she scrambles away, her back suddenly hitting the wall.

"Please, if you're gonna kill me, do it quick," Marinette replies, rushing through the words. "I don't know how angry you ghosts are, but I swear violence isn't the answer. It'll solve nothing and make me dead so let's maybe move away from that—"

Adrien tilts his head, and it almost looks human. (Maybe if his head hadn't done a complete three-sixty at that exact moment, she would've calmed down. Instead, and understandably, she panics more.)

"Hey, hey! Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you."

"You aren't?" She asks, then suddenly horrified (and almost embarrassed), covers her body with her hands. "Don't possess me! Look, I'm a klutz and have literally no coordination. You don't want me! Actually, I can get you better bodies! I have this friend named Alya…"

(Marinette isn't sure why, but she feels extremely irritated with her best friend for some reason.)

The ghost laughs.

And it doesn't echo ohmygod he really is dead and she really is going to die and all this drama for a bunch of views what has she become—

He floats closer to her, and smiles. "I won't possess you either," he replies. "You can keep your body."

"... then, what do you want?"

"Well, I don't really want anything."

"Really?"

He looks almost amused. "I mean, you were the one who broke into my house. I guess I'd like to know why."

Okay, fair.

Marinette looks almost sheepish when she responds, realizing how dumb her reasoning actually is:

"Well, I'm a paranormal vlogger…"

.

.

Marinette has done a lot of strange things in her life.

But this— talking to a ghost about YouTube of all things, is probably the weirdest of all.

(The really terrifying thing about it was how comfortable she actually felt about it.

Talking to Adrien was terribly easy that you couldn't help but let your guard down.)

He looks at her with wide-eyed awe. "That's amazing! And I can't believe I get to be included in your video!"

She smiles lightly. "Well, you are kind of a big deal…"

"I never knew fashion meant that much to so many people!"

(The truth was that they knew Adrien because of his disappearance and the conspiracy around his family, but she decides against mentioning it. Though, it's quite strange to be so cautious of hurting a ghost, of all things.)

"Yeah," Marinette replies instead. "I used to collect your magazines, you know?"

Adrien brightens up. "Dang, you're a fan of me?" He bows down, and his head almost falls over. (She finds herself laughing.) "I'm honored, milady."

"Milady?" She asks teasingly. "What era are you from?"

"Hey—! Technically, we're the same age." He protests, before suddenly quieting down. "I guess I'd be twenty now, huh?"

The mood shifts, and Marinette can't do anything about it.

"... I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he only says. "I guess I'm just a little sad that I never really got to experience being a teenager. Y'know, being normal." He laughs to himself. "And even after death, I'm still not. Being stuck here and all."

Quiet.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened…?" Marinette begins, her voice soft. "Not that you have to answer but… it was so sudden when everyone got the news you were gone."

Adrien sighs. "I'm not sure myself," he explains. "My dad… he thought there was some way to bring her back. Bring my mom back to life. And he did things, some dark things, but they didn't work… and before I knew it, he was gone, and I was stuck like this."

He gestures down at himself. "I can't even leave the house, can you believe it? I've just been here and alone for years…" Then, a smile. "Until you came along."

"I'm glad I can be of some company," Marinette replies, smiling back.

(It's strange— so strange, but she feels connected to him in ways she's never felt connected to anyone.)

"I'm glad that the company who showed up was you."

At that, Marinette decides on an idea.

She stands, and gestures for him to follow.

"You're a ghost, so you can't touch things, right?"

"Yeah… but I can move them. I learned a lot of ghost skills while I was stuck here."

She smiles. "Great."

"What do you mean?"

Marinette walks over to the foosball table, groaning from years of neglect, and places her hands on it. "I may not be able to bring you back, but I can let you experience what it feels like to be a teenager." She tilts her head, pointing towards the game.

"Let's play?"

.

.

They play games late at night and into the early hours of the morning.

Marinette has never seen someone enjoy her company that much— like she had given him the whole world, and everything he'd ever wanted.

It makes her heart soar, to see him so happy.

They take a break as the clock tells them it's almost three in the morning.

Marinette settles into the couch, with Adrien lying down as he floats over her.

"I'm sorry you had to play with me," she starts. "Not really great at sports. And I can get pretty intense when it comes to online games."

Adrien only smiles at her, without a hint of irritation or regret. "No, this was perfect. It's the most fun I've had in a long time." He laughs. "Maybe ever. And I'll never forget this, no matter how long I stay like this."

She frowns as the words leave his mouth.

(Wasn't the thing tying him to the real world his failure to experience his life as a teenager?)

Marinette says it aloud.

"If only it were that simple," he responds, almost sad. "But I don't think that was ever the reason."

"Then what is it?"

"..."

"Adrien?"

"..."

"I won't judge it or anything. Please, I want to help."

Adrien sighs, then looms over her, the expression on his face almost breaking her heart. "It's corny, but… I wanted to experience love." He finally says. "After my mom died, I was locked away. I never felt my dad's love, and Nathalie cared for me, but that was it. My mom was the last person who ever loved me. I just wish I could've experienced that feeling one more time."

"...

I loved you."

"What?"

Marinette looks up at him, vulnerable. Her hands curl up into balls as they grab at the couch.

"I don't know if you remember me," she begins shakily. "But I was there that day you went to the high school."

"..."

"It was raining. And it was only for a moment, but you lent me your umbrella because I forgot mine," she laughs to herself. "I'm sure you don't remember me but…"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

"... how did you know that?"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng," he repeats. "I remember that name. I talked to Miss Bustier over the phone then, and she told me you were the first person I should find when I came to class. She told me you'd make me feel right at home. Adrien looks up at her, and smiles. "I guess she was right."

At that, Marinette feels her mouth tilt upward. "Took you a long time to find me, huh?"

"Better late than never, though?"

They share a laugh, before Adrien continues. "I was really looking forward to meeting you," he says. "And somehow, I knew it was you when I gave that umbrella. You just gave that feeling of home Miss Bustier was talking about… and I was so desperate to have you know me that the umbrella was my way of doing so. Even if I never gave my name, I hoped that somehow, in some way, you'd remember me." He smiles. "And you did."

"... I don't know what to say."

"I think I loved you then," Adrien says, almost to himself. "I just didn't know it yet."

They stare at each other for a moment, and Marinette feels her heart break and be whole at the same time.

The sun starts to show itself, peeking through the clouds.

"... I won't see you again anymore, will I?"

Adrien doesn't even have to nod for her to know his answer.

"Maybe I'll take back my, 'I love you', then."

He laughs.

"I don't like having to lose you all over again."

He makes his way to her, then presses a kiss to her forehead.

(She knows that ghosts can't touch her, but the warmth that spreads from his touch isn't anything short of real.)

"Good luck with your YouTube channel."

It's Marinette's turn to laugh.

"Are you sure those are what you want your last words to be?"

Adrien hums.

"I guess you're right," he replies softly. "I'll go with this then:

I love you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

And as the sun rises, she suddenly finds herself alone.

.

.

Marinette rushes home to use her laptop.

She scrolls through the messages— all assuming she's died, and dials a number she knows by heart.

"Oh thank God you're alive, I was so worried about you!"

"I saw your message, Alya."

"Oh. Haha, well! How was I supposed to believe that an actual ghost showed up on your live?"

"I guess you're right."

"... so, is it true? Was the ghost real? Is the Agreste mansion haunted?"

Marinette pauses.

Then, almost too softly for her to hear, she says it:

"Not anymore."

[reggie-trying-thier-best]

ive been going though a lot of death note stuff and ive seen a bunch of different ships (which i chill with like all of them idc what you ship)  but one of my favorite that i came across that i had never really though about was Matsuda x L. Now its not my otp and im fully aware that it could never happen in canon and im not here to argue about it either. 

the reason i love it some much is because ive spent like the past week thinking about the Wammy’s kids reaction. And it is wonderful.

(this is like an au where Kira gets caught and like non of the main characters die i haven't worked everything out )

I dont want to get into the logistics of how they find out, but imagine them learning that L is with someone and everyone loses their fucking mind because how. and then they learn its a guy some are a tad surprise but no one really cares and are more mad at themselves for doing some hetronormative bs. so now all this does it lower the possibilities of who it could be.

Now most of the kids of the kids try to find out and either give up or dont want to overstep boundaries except of 3 of them Matt, Mello, and Near. while Mello wanted to find out who it was on his own first they are able to have a truce to find out L’s partner’s identity, because like they really really really want to know. 

i would like to say at this point that the expectations for L’s partner at this point are through the fuck roof like the standards are sets so high L and Kira combined couldn't surpass it even with like the help from god or something.

It takes them month of intense investigation to find out anything and the finally are able to narrow down the suspect list one of those people being Matsuda. Near decided he is the most likely because he is was on the Kira case and is one of the few people to have ever actually net L in person and knew it was L in front of them.

So they focus their investigations on him.

They all think that this man must be intelligence because even if he isn't L’s partner he was on the kira case and every one who was working to catch kira must of had high intelligence right?

so near starts doing throughout research and background checks into this mans life as far as preschool. Matt carefully bugs the place and hides trackers everywhere he could think of. Mello has a different person following him every day. 

Near finds nothing unusual he has a clean record and good grades (i dont think  matsuda was an idiot like he wasn't L or Light smart but he was a detective at a young age and while idk how Japanese law enforcement works i imagine detectives have to be decently intelligent) , but besides him being mark for have excellent marks in the shooting range he found nothing that caught his attention. Near considered that these file were fake or at least tampered with just to protect him from standing out but didn't find evidence of that either. 

Mello was worried the he would notice being followed but he never seemed to notice and even if he saw the guy he would act friendly to them and once strikes up a polite conversation, witch had scared the paid stalker half to death and mello was shocked to see how one he was annoying nice, two didn't seem to see though the guys obvious lying, and three just seemed extremely naive and trusting. Mello didn't find anything that could show he was with L, but he expected this. what he did expect was how unlike the person he imagined. This guy regularly went to work and the gym and in his free time would go on jogs through the park and the shooting range, was very social and helpful to everyone he met . Mello had imagine someone much like the antisocial L not this butterfly. Something mello also noticed but would never admit to was how attractive he was like damn dude got muscles for days. Something he did note was if he ever got asked out by anyone male or female he would politely turn them down and it the person ever got pushy about it he would reveal he was in a relationship with someone else but never gave any details about them, Mello thought was a possible connection because he never saw him with anyone in a romantic fashion, but it could still him just being polite. One final thing he thought was strange was he was sometime a part time manager for the pop star model Misa... which was weird mello thought but whatever. 

Matt’s tracker didn't reveal anything mello didn't already find. the bugs didn't find anything other of the ordinary either. the guy watched TV sometimes and friends over that talked about mundane things and would often tell matsuda he was being annoying. He would sometimes call this girl Misa and they would talk about the most stupid of things. This guys was an idiot Matt though after hacking into his computer and find nothing of interest expect for some sad google searches of things that either everyone should know or at least should be common sense like seriously dude. their were a lot of sweet’s recipes though despite this guy not seeming to ever eat anything sweet. 

Once they got together and talked about their finding they were like no this man could not be him L would never be with someone so stupid, sociable, and well annoying. they were frustrated for wasting so much time and effort and no have to start back for square one. Matt removes the bugs and mello stops stalking the poor man and their investigation continues without a single break in the case.

(Now on L’s side of thing the reason they couldn't find a connection to Matsuda and L is because L is extremely careful to keep Matsuda a secret from anyone that could hurt him or try to use him to get to L. L will be gone for weeks at a time trusting  matsuda to be loyal and  matsuda was because god dammit he would of be a good bf or try to at least. and if they had investigated him a little longer they would of saw he went on a mysteriously paid for vacation to another part of japan and stay in a hotel with a Rue Ryuzaki for about 2 weeks) 

While the boys never give up on their investigation they do have other thing to focus on and while they still tried to find out who L was with the started to focus more of their energy on other things. until on day L invites them all to work on a particular difficult case. not necessarily because he couldn't solve it on his own but because it was suggested to give them a kinda “field training” with L.

And to much of their shock and dismay the only other person with them is the same fucking  matsuda that they had been investigating before.(after a while  matsuda quite the police force and worked and be with L full time) He didn't seem to add much to the the actually investigation but instead acted more like another Watari and did a lot of the physical work of the investigation , like going undercover and actually apprehending the suspect with other officers, things like that. 

At the end of the investigation they almost managed convinced themselves that this is just a coincidence and no way are they together yeah its jut a coincidence. 

that is until the end of the investigation and Matsuda give a like peck on L’s cheek. 

Near, Mello, and Matt while all doing it in different ways 

absolutely freak the fuck out.

[adlexegam]

please tell me, am i in the wrong?

so basically i decided to join here cause i at least know my post wont get removed here. i tried posting my story on reddit’s AITA but my post kept getting removed because on their posts you cant post about abuse. so fuck it, here i am, hoping for someone other than my bf and myself to tell me im not wrong. context:i decided to invite my boyfriend over without telling my parents, i did it max 5 times. i was 16 at the time and he was 18. i got caught and my punishment was to get my phone taken away, my number cancelled, im no longer allowed to drive a car or get my license, im only allowed one friend, im not allowed my laptop anymore, im no longer allowed outside without constant supervision, cameras were installed in and out of the house, and just about every day since december of 2019 ive been getting told how disgusting i am for wanting to be with a n****r (my bf’s half puerto rican half white, i’m half hispanic and half white too), how if he was white he would have come to the front door and shook my parent’s hands and asked for permission to date their daughter, how im a dirty n****r lover who will get pregnant from him and have to slave away to take care of our half breed mistakes, how if i stay with him he’ll sell my body on the streets for money, how if i have sex with him ill get every std on the plant, all that 50′s bullshit. ive gotten pregnancy tested (im celibate), drug tested (mom claims she smelled weed in my room, so he’s a dirty n****r drug dealer apparently forcing me to do drugs, guess what i am against drugs since i know itll change my brain chemistry and i have weak lungs),and std tested (still celibate).  for the first few months after they found out i was allowed my laptop at home to do homework, and only allowed my phone during school. one day i got home and i got greeted to the fact that i no longer have a laptop and now have to use the house computer to do all my work at home. of course i got mad because for months ive been doing everything they wanted, and suddenly im being punished for being suspiciously good? my mom got on top of me and fought me to take off my backpack to take my airpods too, left my phone on the kitchen table. i grabbed my phone and locked myself in my room. she found out i took my phone, and once i unlocked the door i held my phone above my head so we can just talk. instead she got on top of me and started scratching me and all over my arms to get to my phone. i dropped it from the pain of the scratches on my arms. earlier that same day i was getting ready for school with my laptop open, camera taped over, looking for any school assignments i missed. my mom unlocked my door and saw my nude body getting ready with my laptop open, and just went back to the kitchen table and told my dad how much of a slut i am and how im posting my nude body on the internet. i quickly put on clothes and came up to her yelling how im just getting ready for school and how theres tape over the camera. i even told her to look at the laptop, the only thing open was google classroom. my dad got up and started yelling at me for being a slut and for talking back. for once i finally got tired of being yelled at, i finally stood up for myself. he punched me in the face and when my mom got in between to defend me (she caused the whole situation), his swings went back in on her stomach. i screamed dont hit my mother and tried to push her off him, he used the oppurtunity to grab my shoulder by my uniform and punch me in the shoulder. everything was a blur after that. my mother drove me to school and yelled how i shouldnt have been a whore on the internet. i fought back. before i got to school i yelled “please, just fuck off”. this is important later, because she used me saying that as the excuse for her getting on top of me and scratching me and ripping my backpack off my back. because i swore at her. it was okay. but here’s the important part. he hit me in front of the camera. i knew the police would ignore the emotional abuse ive been getting for my entire life. i got my physical evidence. finally, after 16 years, i had my evidence. i told my boyfriend what happened, and we agreed to meet after school the next day and call the police. i wanted to be emancipated, since my parents adamantly agreed that i (apparently) only wanted to be emancipated because my ‘poor street rat n****r boyfriend’ was manipulating me into it. ive been dreaming of this day since i was 8, when i realized what ive been told wasnt normal. they showed up on the corner of where i called. i told the policemen what happened to me the day before. they asked if i had any scars or bruises. i said no, he didnt punch me hard enough to get a bruise the next day, and my mother didnt scratch me hard enough to get scars. they knew what would happen if they gave me physical evidence. after i said that, the policeman interrogating me asked me something that will stay with me until the day i die. “he never really hit you, did he?” i began crying and saying yes! yes he did! i have video footage to prove it! we have cameras in the house! it happened right in front of the cameras! more questions ensued, and i was brought to the police station while my boyfriend waited at a local coffeeshop for me to finally be free from the abuse. at first i was scared, but the cops calmed me down. i told them everything. all my memories spilled from my mouth like water from the niagra falls. everything came rushing out, my fears, my forgotten memories i forced into my box of never to be remembered, the times before i feared for my life, the times i knew something wasnt right. i told them everything from the bottom of my heart. they listened and asked all the right questions.(if you want to know what happened to me and what i told them, ill post them in a future post if anyone cares)  one of the officers, the only one with melanin skin and a father to a beautiful girl, expressively felt sick from my stories, from my life. not even he could understand why, as a father, why any parent would find it right to do to me what they did. he was my favourite police officer, he was the kindest and the only one who really wanted me to feel comfortable. he talked to me on the level of a person, not a child. eventually cps came and he told me to tell her everything too. i did. she asked where i wanted to go if i got emancipated. i said to live with my boyfriend, his family is willing to take me in and once i get a job ill pay minimal rent so i can be free. she said ‘no, you cant live with a minor.’ i said he’s not a minor, he’s 18. she said ‘oh, then yeah you definetly cant live with him’ she said if i wanted to leave i would be put into a women’s shelter since i was too old to be adopted/put into foster care. she said i would be r*ped if i was put in there. she said i should just take it until im 18, then ill be fine. she said that there were no scars or bruises, so it wasnt that bad. (this part is blurry, the more i remember it the more the memories overlap, im sorry for any confusion) the police interrogated my parents. they believed every word they said. my mother used whitepages as a source to prove how my boyfriend lied about his name. my mother used our hours long calls to prove how im obviously being manipulated to lie. she said how im just a liar, as my father said, a pathological liar. they had no cause to me being a pathological liar, i was just born that way. i was lying to get into my manipulative boyfriend’s arms for my body to be used by him and his friends. i was obviously being manipulated, why would i want to leave my loving parents arms? i was obviously doing this just out of anger of getting my laptop and phone taken away, obviously. its not like they EVER did anything wrong to me, they were just teaching me to grow up a mature adult, ready for the world. they would never put their hands on me. the police never looked at the cameras. they never questioned me again. i was a liar. at home the child protective services lady said my room quote ‘ranked of weed’. i have never done weed. my boyfriend has never done weed in my room.  at the station they said they couldnt find a record of my boyfriend. i later found out that, even after he gave them his social security number, they still questioned his existence. at the station they told my parents they couldnt find his record (he has none, hes never committed a crime). at home a therapist came. to my knowledge, my boyfriend was never real (no record) and i would still have to be at home. i wanted to die. the therapist said she wanted to take me to a mental hospital. my mom was there and consented. my dad later came home, yelled at me in front of the therapist. she said im suicidal, with his consent she would call her supervisor to take me to the local mental hospital. he consented. while she called her supervisor from across the kitchen, he said: “she wants to kill herself? fuck if i care, she can drown herself in a river for all i care” i sat there shocked.  the mental hospital was a blur. once i got home i got my phone taken away too. my only communication would be from the 10+ year old computer we have in the kitchen. facing out so anyone that walks by can see what im doing. one of the cameras is watching me at all times, but is positioned so that it cant see what i am doing.  once i got home i used our kindle fire. i logged into discord on incognito mode. i asked him to send me his birth certificate. was he even real? was i even real? was our late nights of cuddling nothing? were the walks in the park nothing? were the ‘i love you’s nothing? did meeting his family from an hour long train ride mean nothing? were the chinese food dates nothing? were the confessions of our embarassing secrets nothing? were the times we had non-vaginal sex and laughed in the middle from how silly we were being mean nothing? were the times we had tiffs and talked it out mean nothing? did he save me from my ex-abusive partner just to use me? were the times we layed down next to each other with the only covering being my blanket, staring at each other in wonder of how lucky each of us were, was that nothing? when we spent hours telling each other our  entire life stories, was he lying? did the times he called my body the most beautiful thing he ever has seen, the times he’s said he didnt think he’d ever fall in love again from his ex, was that a lie? he sent his birth certificate. it was real. his birth date his name it was all real. he told me what happened to him. i told him what happened to me. he apologized for it going the way it did. i apologized for doubting him. child protective services sent a therapist me and my mother had to meet with weekly. 2 hours, 10 times. it lasted until the first weeks of quarantine. me and him are still in the same love we’ve has since before he found out how truly insane my parents are. the only reason we’ve ever gotten into fights is from how much he wants me to run away (before you say ‘ok maybe the parents were right, he sounds manipulative’, no, he only says that after every time something else happens at home and how he has to cope with the fact that im okay with being abused since its my normal. he wants me to run away from the abuse, not just so we can see each other again, so i wont be hurt anymore). he’s still the man i want to marry, the man i want to call mine and for him to call me his. we get scared the other might get tired of the waiting and just decide to leave for someone each other’s family would like. we talk through it. we know we can wait. i know i can take it until im 18. he knows he’ll be prepared to take me in once im 18. we know we can take the late nights awake, missing each other. we can take it because this isnt puppy love. this isnt purely passionate love. he wants me to be safe, and i want to finally be free. so you’re up to this point and you’re probably thinking one of three things: jesus christ can this lady capitalize anything?? or holy FUCK this is long it better be good or why did she title her post that? first of all, i do what a want nehenehenehneh second of all, whoever reads this needs the full context before i ask my question third of all, because of what happened a couple of days ago. a month ago my dad passed from covid-19. ive become the housewife while my mother has taken over the family business and my brother does the grass once a month. my mother still cooks, but i clean the dishes and fold laundry every day and vaccuum the whole house twice a week. a letter came in the other day stating how our child protective services case is now closed. they never found signs of physical abuse or neglect. my mother reminded me for the infinitieth time how stupid i am for getting manipulated. how much of a dirty n*****r lover i am. how i will never be anything without her. then she brought my father into this i started the situation, which made him depressed. he was depressed, so he couldnt fight off the virus. because he couldnt fight off the virus, he died. she blamed me for killing my father she blamed me for my father for deciding to go out every day without a mask for my father deciding to put in his eyedrops in an insanitary environment she blamed me  it was my fault i knew i was leaving when im 18 i knew i wanted to tell my mother at least a month before i left that i was leaving but now theres no going back once im 18, im gone im never turning back i will never be treated like this or talked down like this ever again but who will clean? who will vaccuum? who will make sure the house is organized? do i stay? can i even go? i just dont know anymore should i go? and well, what i started this post with, please tell me, am i in the wrong? for planning on leaving when im 18? to finish this post, i just want to say a few things. dont tell me to call the police or child protective services.i already did. they believed my abusive parents and told them how they can protect themselves against me, since i was the one who started all this. plus, look at the fucking news. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. my boyfriend looks hispanic and i look white. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. fuck cops. not all cops are bad, but no cop should fucking gun down people for their race. no person should be judged from some racist  person saying “oh im fearing for my life” and the person in question is black/a poc and is doing fucking nothing. they believed my fucking abusive parents because they threw my bf under the bus as bait and the police went for it. dont come after my family. all that will do is make everything worse for me. my mother can’t even look at a poc without claiming they’re related to my boyfriend and are going to follow her to kill her. dont do anything to me. just please answer my question. please just tell me if im in the right or if im in the wrong. i know this is abuse. i know whats happening to me is wrong. but i know i can take it. i know i can survive. i will survive and achieve my dream of becoming a doctor. i will be my own person. i am me

[somnilogical]

<<Over the past year, however, Google has appeared to clamp down. It has gradually scaled back opportunities for employees to grill their bosses and imposed a set of workplace guidelines that forbid “a raging debate over politics or the latest news story.” It has tried to prevent workers from discussing their labor rights with outsiders at a Google facility and even hired a consulting firm that specializes in blocking unions. Then, in November, came the firing of the four activists. The escalation sent tremors through the Google campus in Mountain View, Calif., and its offices in cities like New York and Seattle, prompting many employees — whether or not they had openly supported the activists — to wonder if the company’s culture of friendly debate was now gone for good.

(A Google spokeswoman would not confirm the names of the people fired on Nov. 25. “We dismissed four individuals who were engaged in intentional and often repeated violations of our longstanding data-security policies,” the spokeswoman said. “No one has been dismissed for raising concerns or debating the company’s activities.” Without naming Berland, Google disputed that investigators pressured him.)>>

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/02/18/magazine/google-revolt.html

<<“Of the five people that were fired, three of us are trans women,” Spiers said. “That is either an unbelievable coincidence or Google is targeting the most vulnerable.”

“Trans Googlers make up a very small percentage of Googlers,” she added. “They make up a slightly larger percentage of organizers, but not 60%.”>>

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/dec/17/fifth-google-worker-activist-fired-in-a-month-says-company-is-targeting-the-vulnerable

i too am transfem and would "violate longstanding data-security policies" if my organization were being unjust. i wouldnt say that unless it were already obvious by what bits ive leaked to people about my life, because otherwise i could suppress this information and whistleblow more.

if you were an evil corp at this point youd probably try to avoid hiring any trans women in the first place because given this happens to you, its likely done by a transfem. not that this saved CFAR, who never hired a trans woman, from having a bunch of transfems whistleblow on them despite not being employees.

from what ive read from transfem google employees who are or were involved in activism, the degredation of google's culture. their complicity with ICE and weapons manufacturing mirrors CFAR's with OpenAI and DeepMind; authoritarianism and expulsion of transfems who object to this among a myriad of wrongs. to protect the territory of injustice and complicity with organizations like ICE, google needs to import "a consulting firm that specializes in blocking unions", CFAR needs to violate their whistleblower policy. if you once protect injustice, justice is ever after your enemy. morality isnt some modular thing such that you can be comitted to protecting injustice and not have this choice spiral into also invoking and protecting systems that protect injustice and invoking further things to protect those, recursively. all the way down to doing really dumb and obvious unjust things like transmisogyny (lots of future posts), changing your fundraiser after its clear its losing money, announcing that this year you got way below your donation target and claim to have no idea why.

well *i* know the compact generator for all of these things, and that makes me strong. unlike MIRI/CFAR who like the CDC rely on gaslighting the populace for myopic gains. i also wore a particle mask during the time that the CDC claimed that they were useless to preventing spread of disease, so it was really important to give them to doctors and nurses.

after so much gaslighting, *i* have built up general capabilities at arbitraging the difference between what agents claim and the truth. people who say:

<<Edit: This is a type of post that should have been vetted with someone for infohazards and harms before being posted, and (Further edit) I think it should have been removed by the authors., though censorship is obviously counterproductive at this point.

Infohazards are a real thing, as is the Unilateralists’s curse. (Edit to add: No, infohazards and unilateralist’s curse are not about existential or global catastrophic risk. Read the papers.) And right now, overall, reduced trust in CDC will almost certainly kill people. Yes, their currently political leadership is crappy, and blameworthy for a number of bad decisions—but it doesn’t change the fact that undermining them now is a very bad idea.

Yes, the CDC has screwed up many times, but publicly blaming them for things that were non-obvious (like failing to delay sending out lab kits for further testing,) or that they screwed up, and everyone paying attention including them now realizes they got wrong (like being slow to allow outside testing,) in the middle of a pandemic seems like exactly the kind of consequence-blind action that lesswrongers should know better than to engage in.

Disclaimer: I know lots of people at CDC, including some in infectious diseases, and have friends there. They are human, and get things wrong under pressure—and perhaps there are people who would do better, but that’s not the question at hand.>>

https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/h4vWsBBjASgiQ2pn6/credibility-of-the-cdc-on-sars-cov-2/comment/uDYbgf3QtEQirbsJk

havent. its easy to see how peoples minds are warped when its someone elses glowy thing, when its someone elses friends working for an institution that that someone else routed their hopes through.

its easier to recognize betrayal and see knowledge beyond the veil when its happening to someone else, instead of you.

until you build up general skills for recognizing it, this sort of betrayal isnt infinitely powerful. and like how you might expect that smart people who live for predation would do anti-inductive smart predatory things, but they end up converging on child sex rings; institutions that betray you, because justice is their enemy will start doing dumb unjust things like banning two people from speaking about their irl experiences with anna salamon, saying their first-hand accounts werent evidence and then citing anna salamon's first-hand account of the meeting as evidence. when i objected that this was a fucked up self-serving ontology of "evidence" they acted like i was objecting to "beliefs flow from evidence" and they acted as if what i was saying was obscure and beyond their ability to comprehend. their "incomprehension" was fake, downstream of a fear to dynamically compute things in front of other people that might end up outside the orthodoxy. the result of which is they display a blue screen of death and say “i just dont understand and aaa dont explain this to me!!!”. and then people agree that it "seems like it could be an infohazard" because when your goal is the preservation of the matrix, everything that tears it down looks like hazardous information.

or a cfar employee, in response to claims that anna's transmisogyny influences CFAR's hiring choices, claiming that anna salamon, head of CFAR, is not involved in CFAR's hiring. until i post proof from another CFAR employee pursuing personal vengeance against the org for hiring their rapist where its tangentially mentioned and they suddenly "realize" that anna salamon, head of CFAR, is involved in CFAR's hiring process.

or a thousand other injustices that have burned themselves into my brain during my months of talking with people under the assumption that they were simply mistaken in their path to saving the world. when they were actually un-mistaken in their path to having babies and a low chance of personal death. hoping and expecting someone else will take heroic responsibility for the planet.

like when you drill down to the base of injustice, it bottoms out in dumb and petty injustice. like the structure doesnt go infinitely high and complex, if you go down to the base level, you just need a bit of courage to not flinch away from what you see even if it seems that it means the ruin of something you ran your hopes and dreams through.

--

"isnt this a little... extreme?" i hear some people ask. ""dont protect regions of injustice?" that sounds like the end product of obsessive compulsive fixation on virtue at the expense of practicality."

well, assuming the algorithm seeding this response is a systemic reasoning tool, it should forkbomb when you consider if youd output ""dont protect regions of untruth?" that sounds like the end product of obsessive compulsive fixation on virtue at the expense of practicality." in response to eliezers essay. the principle behind both is the same such that if you hold by one you should hold by the other.

all of these things have parallels. if you want to see what is happening with MIRI/CFAR, theres a lot of mutual information with whats happening with Google.

[irishtowriteabook]

🌸Jealous -David+Natalie

A longwinded starter of a multitude (or should I say multiDUDE cause I’m cool) of fanfics.

-English isn’t my first language-

Summary: After the whole Ilya confessing his feelings to Natalie thing David struggles to withhold his “pshhh” attitude. And in turn develops an attitude. David Dobrick essentially turns into a David Doprick for tidbit.

—

Jason was making some semi self deprecating jokes but despite their hilarity and golden vlog material David couldn’t focus. His gaze constantly flitted over towards the view finder in his worse for wear camera that was in a precarious position atop the dashboard. His viewers on Tuesday or Wednesday or whatever-day he uploaded this would probably think he was checking himself out or lost in thought. He wasn’t. Hah! He was looking at them, Natalie and Ilya, laughing up a storm in the backseat. Storm Katrina who?

Their laughter was so loud it probably broke the sound barrier. Ilya was still somewhat erratic due to the drugs in his system and either Natalie found his hijinks cute or she had entered protective friend mode, David couldn’t tell anymore, he just couldn’t read her lately. And that frustrated him more than the time where his video editing programme crashing and his early morning work had vanished. Just like that.

“And Jeff goes up to the girl at the counter playing the whole good son act: Ah yes ahem my dads getting old and it’s hard seeing him that way but someone has to take care of him you know? And I suppose he thinks I don’t hear him, that I’ve actually got deaf like he said I had and-“ David tuned Jason out and fiddled with his camera now, craning it around the car towards the backseats so as to capture the twos reactions. They however were much too caught up in some whispered joke.

A slightly audible gulp left David’s throat as he watched Natalie through the view finder. Her head tilted back, showcasing her smooth neck and chest, as she giggled wholeheartedly. Pangs formed in David’s already weighty chest. ‘Why can’t I ever make her laugh like that?’ She looked like she was glowing today! And that wasn’t because of that highlighter shit, she was just- she was just stunning.

All of a sudden Natalie’s deep brown eyes met his over the rim of the camera and she shot a small smile at David as Ilya flopped down against her shoulder, grumbling. David’s heart ached as her smile visibly faltered as he didn’t return one. A snap sounded in the car due to the forceful shutting of the camcorder, David now fully turned around.

This abruptness caused even a dazed Ilya to quieten down. Jason kept his eyes mostly on the road but glanced towards David’s general direction, shifting his hands on the drivers wheel. “Uh you okay Dave? I wasn’t finished my bit. Your subscribers will be left on the edge of their seats!” He said with his signature wheezy laugh. David tucked himself into the innermost corner of the car seat and just fumbled with the holding string piece off his camera. “I have enough footage. It’s cool.” He muttered with a half arsed grin. Jason looked through the parking mirror to Natalie.

Her brows were furrowed as she watched David, not paying attention to Ilya who was pressing his entire tongue against the back window at oncoming traffic. Jason hitched his eyebrows once before returning his focus to the road. The rest of the ride was mostly silent except from the whispers of Natalie and Ilya and Ilya’s nonsensical mumblings.

—

The very moment the car came to a standstill David was rushing out the door, so fast the door hinges very nearly gave way. “Gotta edit. Help yourselves to some drinks.”

Jason turned around almost immediately to face Natalie despite the constraints of the belt digging into his chest.

Even in the cover of the night he could clearly see she already seemed deep in thought. “What’s uh- what’s going on with David tonight eh? Stress?” Jason questioned and allowed Ilya to play with his hair. “I don’t know.” She drummed her fingers and pouted her lips a bit. “He seemed fine up until after Ilya’s wisdom tooth removal.” Natalie leans forward, her eyebrows still creased in genuine worry. “I’m going to go after hi-“ She was cut off by a drawn out “Natalieeee” from a drowsy Ilya. Nat paused in her movement and looked to Jason for a little help. He nodded towards her with an understanding smile. “You go, I’ve got this- Come on sleepyhead”

-

“Hey Dave!” Natalie paused as she swung around the ledge of the door into David’s room where he lay splayed out on the bed. He didn’t respond, instead just moving his toned arms to cover his eyes and forehead area. “..Want a drink? I’m getting Ilya some water to flush out the bloo-“ “Nah but thanks.” Natalie was taken aback by his not necessarily rude but unusually blunt response.

She leant her head tiredly against the wood and watched him carefully. Down the hall there was an uproar of laughter as Ilya entertained the other squad members arriving on the scene. Just as David thought she had left she spoke again. “Listen David I know it’s been a long day but I feel like something else is bothering you. I’m your friend too, not just your assistant.” A pained scoff left David’s throat, now he’s been downgraded the friend? “I’m fine, Natalie. Just tired is all. I just want some space..can you do that?” And for the first time in a long time Natalie was at a loss for words.

Her frown pierced his skin through his hoodie and she pursed her lips, something she always did when she was annoyed. It just didn’t make sense. He always wanted people around him, talking or not. “Sure. I’ll be in the kitchen with the others.” She quipped shortly after a few seconds of silence and took a sharp turn on her heel towards the kitchen.

Eventually the chatter and laughter faded as the gaggle of vloggers moved over into the living room. It was then, and only then, that David removed his arms from over upper face. His eyes were shiny and glistened in the dark of the room with unshed tears. He muttered a curse and stared at the spot where Natalie once stood.

David sniffled and harshly rubbed his nose with the palm of his hand before opening his laptop up, connecting the camera cords and transferring the files. His eyes stung as her pushed himself through the editing process. And then he stopped. A clip lay there, one he couldn’t look at till now. The bit about Ilya confessing his fucking feelings. David couldn’t- David couldn’t help but notice the way Natalie was looking at Ilya as he slowed it down, in awe almost. “Shit.” David whispered as a singular tear trailed down his cheek.

—

Natalie tried to focus on Zane’s video ideas, she really did, but her eyes kept drifting off down the hallway where David still residing. “I can’t wait for David to hear these man!” Zane chuckled and the various heads nodded. Here it comes. “Hey speaking of, where is David? Haven’t seen him all night. You didn’t leave him in Chicago did you?” Heath wondered and draped an arm around his girlfriend as all eyes turned to Natalie. “Oh uhm he’s a bit tired, you know how it is. All the..travelling.” She smiled.

“We’ll leave him rest up then. Can’t get that coin without the creator!” Heath suggested with a laugh. “Who wants more drinks?!” Zane exclaimed and danced over animatedly to the countertop. Whoops and hollers left the mouth of most people in the room, the rest too hungover, passed out or worried about David.

—

Did they even notice he was gone? Did they even want him around? As a friend, not a medium of income. Did Natalie even want to be here? All these thoughts buzzed through David’s head despite his attempts to just..silence them. His computer was now strewn away to the side as sat on the edge of his bed, palms digging into his eyes with his elbows on his knees.

With a hefty sigh he dragged himself out of bed and crept out the door towards the kitchen. His heart tugged in his chest as he noticed Natalie pressed up against Ilya on the couch. Everyone’s attention was on Ilya, grasping on his comedic tales. No one noticed David. Or so he thought.

Natalie got a sinking feeling as she took heed of a forlorn looking David, watching as he sneaked into the kitchen.

“Are you going to talk to me then hm?” David almost jumped out of his skin as Natalie’s voice piped up from behind him. He pretended to continue looking in the presses just so he didn’t have to face her. “What do you mean?” He faked a laugh, his nervousness seeping through. He stuffed a biscuit into his mouth, one that he doesn’t like she realised, before turning around. Natalie stood there looking far too cute in her pajama shorts and black top with her crossed arms and tapping impatiently foot.

Natalie stormed up to him and plucked the biscuit packet away from him. “You don’t even like these!” She spluttered out and slammed them onto the counter. ‘How do you even know what I like and don’t like? You’ve been so busy with Ilya lately it’s like I wasn’t there too.’

“Great. Now my biscuits are going to be all crumbly.” David pouted. Natalie in the meantime looked like she either wanted to rip her hair or his hair out in utter frustration. She stepped forward to him and stared him down. “What. Is going. On?” Natalie questioned stonily, her brunette hair sticking out from her earlier anxious ruffling.

David froze as he could almost feel her breaths and angry huffs on the skin of his chest. “I-I dont know what you want me to say Nat- is it still okay if I call you that?” Natalie was outright confused at his words. “Of course it’s okay? Stop diverting the subject!”

“You’re worrying too much. I’m fine, exhausted but fine!” He laughed flatly and bravely placed his hands on her shoulders. A burst of pain shot through his veins as she shrugged off his hands. It brought back memories as to how she’d always be so affectionate with Ilya and Zane and yet shied away from his hugs on video. Usually that wouldn’t upset him but shit. “David!” The pair were interrupted by a grinning Carly as she bounced on in. “Good to see you! Just grabbing a drink!” She said brightly. Natalie didn’t face her, instead she kept her gaze locked on David who smiled at Carly. The moment Carly went however David’s smile dropped. And Natalie seen that.

“Dave..” She sighed out as he shuffled past her, blank faced. “Go have fun Na-“ David’s words got caught in his throat as she latched onto his hand and tugged him back to look at her. “Have I done something wrong? Why won’t you look at me? Did I mess up when I was recording you and Ily?” Ily? Nickname stage. Great. David stole a look at Natalie and studied her worried face, feeling all shades of bad over being the cause of her discomfort. She should be out there with her- their friends.

He gently pulled back from her vice like grip and she let her hand fall slowly to her side. “I’m going to bed okay? I’ll see you in the morning or something like that, I’ve got a lot of editing to do so I might be in my room all day. Go out with the gang though. Enjoy yourself! Go wild!” He plastered on a smile. Natalie hitched an eyebrow at him and recrossed her arms, shifting her weight on the balls of her feet.

“You’ve done your editing though? We just watched your video inside there?” Natalie said and saw David’s arm go back to scratch at his neck. “Second channel stuff. You know? It takes ti-“ “No I don’t know David! I’m not a vlogger. I usually just help you choose which bits are the best bits. Usually! Tonight you can’t seem to get away from us fast enough, from me.” David opened his mouth to respond as he finally gained the courage to meet her eyes.

Hurt and confusion and despair swum in them and he had never felt so much guilt. Not even when Jonah felt into the pool off the motorcycle. “Nat I-“ “No, forget it. You call me when you need me, boss.” Natalie replied sarcastically and saluted him, sauntering off, doing her best to maintain her composure. She hated when David was mad at her. She missed him and his smile and his jokes and his laugh and it had only been a few hours. Felt like an eternity though.

—

David sniffed as he tapped through the Instagram stories of his friends; laughing, joking, dancing, food tasting reviews. A knock on the door shook him out of his- I don’t even know what.

Natalie crept in, avoiding looking at his vest (barely) covered torso or him as he sat up in his bed. She edged the door to a close with her foot before setting the tray of breakfast foods down on his seemingly constantly clouded nightstand. “You didn’t need to Natalie. I was going to make my own in a little while.” David said, subdued. “No you weren’t, I know when you’re lying to me Dobrik. We have been friends since kindergarten after all.” She shrugged and straightened back up, his eyes following her every shuffle. Natalie seemed so down this morning and although David felt his distancing wouldn’t affect her enough to cause it, it was. He thought she wouldn’t notice.

“I’ve cleared your schedule for today. Told everyone you were sick so we’ll be staying at home.” She murmured and looked everywhere but at him. “We?” David unknowingly voiced his thoughts aloud and she looked at him as if shocked he was even asking that. “Yes Dave! We! You and me!” She snapped. Her eyes grew sad as she noticed his posture once again deflate and his eyes sink downwards. Natalie tugged the covers off of him and flung open his wardrobe doors seeing an array of black clothing. “Come on. Get up and get dressed. You might feel a bit better and get out of this funk you’re in. Are you frustrated about videos? Is that it?” She pondered and riffled through the hangers as David stood beside her. “You go relax, I can take care of myself” David spoke gently, his husky morning voice sending shivers down her spine. “No.” Natalie spoke vehemently and sifted through the hangers with more force than before, eventually yanking some band shirt and baggy sports pants out and laying them on his bed.

“This isn’t a vlog David. You don’t have to condense all your feelings down in 4 minutes and 20 seconds. Not with me. I’m here to listen to whatever is bothering you-“ David opened his mouth “-Ah ah ah! And I know something’s bothering you. I’m here as long as you need me. I want to be here. So I really really don’t get why you’re acting like I’m some stranger.” Natalie said as she shut his wardrobe door closed.

“Nat-“ David tried to intercede. “No David!” “Nat!” He tried again but she shook her head as she pushed past him softly to grab his duvet, doing her best to ignore the stinging feeling of tears in her eyes.

This time round however it was her breath that caught in her throat as David’s strengthy arms slipped around her core, tugging her against him. And just like that her stoic posture just melted like butter against him. David was cautious that she’d pull away but as she quietly wrapped her arms around his neck he took that as the go ahead to tighten the hug. Natalie was so warm and soft against him, her faded perfume filling his senses.

Natalie let her nails scrape against the nape of David’s neck and a smile snuck on her face as a small hum escaped his mouth. She loved the feelings of his arms around her, so secure and safe. His five o clock shadow was scratchy against her cheeks but she didn’t care. What she did care about however was how this feeling was barely familiar to her. ‘How long has it been since I’ve hugged him?’ Thinking back she could clearly remember the awkward embraces shared with Zane and Ray and Ilya but..David? Nope.

Natalie pressed herself flush against him and ensured that there was no space between them. She wanted to get closer and closer and- “God I’ve missed you Nat.” David groaned out, his lips tickling the skin of her neck that his face was now pressed into. Her eyes fluttered to a close as his thumb gently scraped and rubbed a slip of showing skin from her short sleeved black top. “Have I not been here Dave? Hm?” Natalie murmured and leant back just slightly to meet his eyes. “I-“ He adverted his eyes but she grasped the left side of his face firmly and stroked his cheek with her thumb. The other arm stayed locked around his neck.

“You have been here yeah. But so has everyone else. I guess I’m just used to having us time. Do you get me? Do I sound selfish? I’m sorry, I’m not good at this whole sharing feelings thing.” He whispered. “Yeah I can tell!” She breathed jokingly hoping to get a real smile out of him. He managed a tiny one in her direction. Her heart fell.

“Oh David-“ Natalie pressed a kiss to his cheek before moving to his ear to whisper, smiling as she felt him freeze. “You’re my best friend. Okay? Only you! Not Casandra, not Erin, not Ilya, you.”

David leant back, a grin steadily forming on his lips, of which she struggled not to stare at. “You mean that?” He stuttered out, vastly happier. An affectionate smile took over Natalie’s face as his eyes lit up more and more. Natalie took a second to just admire the man, sliding her thumb across his jawline as her eyes flitted from one of his eyes to another. “Of course I do, David” She smiled and reluctantly pulled back as he pulled back.

“It doesn’t make it okay that instead of talking to me you just blanked me and everyone though.” David looked even more guilty at her words but nodded along as they needed to be said. “I’m sorry Nat. I really I- I am. I wasn’t thinking and even that’s not an excuse.” He fumbled with his pants pockets. Natalie softened as the sincerity shone in his eyes.

“Cmere dork. It’s okay, I forgive you! I still love you even though you can be a major dick.” Natalie giggled and pulled David against her once more.

‘I’ll show you.’

—

Until next time! Comments or likes are appreciated if you’re able to spare the time! -Ella x

[mrs-milton]

Peu connu Faits sur meuble jardin.

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[kookaifoundation]

i should write my feelings down in the journal i got for that specific purpose so i can organize them enough to explain them to my therapist in under an hour but thats not about to happen so you will all be subject to my pathetic attempts to gather them in one place LOL

i am so sick of being surrounded by shit i hate and feeling compelled to keep it there because some unseen force says i Have to or makes it so that i dont have the energy to remove it..... like as i type this my family is making their fucking mouth noises and they never ever seem to stop. i dont even hear words nor do i regard it as talking anymore. the simple act of hearing certain voices and sounds causes me pain and so does too much light or my hair drying the wrong way and feeling bad or seeing someone make a stupid expression or BEING LOOKED AT even

i hate all of my clothes and cant bring myself to get up before leaving the house until the last minute let alone put on some shitty outfit that's both masculine enough to keep my family from bothering me about why i'm wearing "girl clothes" and pleasing enough to keep me from crying when i look in the mirror. even then the fabric probably feels horrid and i want to take it off the moment it goes on. but i wear it anyway.

i hate what im studying. at this point looking at monitors makes me want to die. computer science is obviously great for that! you know what it's also great for? inclusivity! if i manage to get a job i'll feel amazing surrounded by white cishet men who will without a doubt see me as a woman and get apprehensive and quiet around me because i am black and trans and gay after all! and i sure as hell cant wait until i face discrimination at the hands of whatever stupid fucking algorithm these white cishet men are training to discern between worthy and unworthy human beings!!

i hate my primary mode of communication with people! tumble dot hell is okay since we Are ultra undesirable to advertisers and therefore it is my primary social media but everywhere else is becoming increasingly filled with hate and ads and elements designed to make the platform inhospitable so that your attention will be directed to this other element on the page (usually an ad), or so that youll pay this amount of dollars to get rid of it, or do whatever the hell they want you to do. theyll get what they want. capitalists have REAMS of research on what people do in any given fucking situation and they will use it to get your money!

i hate feeling like i have no rights! my future is up to a set of laws written by people with lives thousands of degrees of separation apart from my own!! will i be allowed to correct legal documents? will i be allowed my hormones? will i be protected from discrimination? can i donate blood? can i use the bathroom? can i reproduce? is it legal for someone to kill me after finding out i have an F on my ID? who knows!!!! LMAO. and even if shit does get better legally who can say my life wont end early due to hate?

and i am so fucking sick of being behind in life in terms of sexuality, in terms of maturity, in terms of experience, in terms of a million other things!! this one is just too much for me so im going to copy and paste what i said about it the first time i got upset about this:

i suddenly feel so bad about it but im so tired of not having control over my own sexuality and sexual development.... like im completely fine with most of my own body and i definitely think i am desirable but i feel like im forever going to be either sexless or an object to other people because of my anatomy and the only way im ever going to be seen as desirable is if you tack an extra clause onto me that reads "*you just have to ignore... That" whether "that" is my gender or my body. and then if someone does see me as a whole being and not just a gender and a body as separate things then theyll want to begin the process of Healing Me or what the fuck ever when theres nothing for me to heal from. i dont need to learn to love my body i already do. i want make fuck NOW there is no shitty emotional component to that. allow me to have power.

and then there's the thing about ANY amount of effort being put into your appearance being female to cis people. i am a faggot i like to dress up and put makeup on but if any cis person sees me like that their little brains get overloaded and they think woman! i want to be beautiful! i am beautiful! i am the most beautiful man in the world! but cis brains CANNOT HANDLE IT and unfortunately they make up the vast majority of people! what the fuck am i going to do! without beauty and control over how people perceive me i feel fucking helpless but i cant have those two things at the same time.

[soo-sex]

190311 Soohyun Fancafe Chat (Part 3)

[English translation by junhaera_]

Soohyun: gap-bun-tti  KM: what does that mean?  Soohyun: suddenly the atmosphere becomes quiet (after saying a joke)  KM: our oppa is in the new generation  SH: at the camp  - the kids  - they are 98, 97, 99 liners  - since they are young  - im learning new generation language

KM: so young  - dont learn weird things  - ajusshi  SH: kkkk  - not too long ago  - a 99 liner came as a junior  - wow, 10 year age gap with me  - in our troop, im the 3rd oldest person  KM: kkkkk  - it's a relief you havent seen a 00 liner kk  - it's a relief youre not the oldest

KM: right, you're already out of the army before you see a 00 liner  SH: 00 liner?  - 00?  - is there a 00 liner?  - kkkkk  KM: youre already gone before you see a 00 line in the army  SH: when a 00 line comes kk

SH: ah right  - since im doing well in the army  - executives wants me to apply for professional sergeant (position)  KM: u cant  SH: u know I've got a special forces certificate again, right?  - i mentioned it before  - can i talk bout that too? kk  - i have to keep the camp's security

SH: i gained leg muscles  - not a weakling now  - we do a lot of marching ㅠ  KM: how about abs? chocolate abs  SH: of course, there's abs  - but i wont show it  KM: why?  SH: im not gonna show it easily  KM: if i show it easily  - will make a habit out of it  - kissmes

KM: eng  - fail  SH: kkkk  - what fail  - damn kkkk  KM: SHOW IT, SHOW IT, SHOW IT kkkkk  - say damn what kkk  SH: why  KM: what is Soohyun's rank  SH: can i talk about it?  - i think you dont like stories about the army  KM: say it..  SH: kkk  - ill be a sergeant in April  KM: oooh~  - wow

SH: but my discharge date  - it hasn't changed  - anyway, in the army  - it's manageable  - once you go,  - go like a man for once  and i think it's worth the try  - easy easy - the marines  - ㅠㅠㅠㅠ  - Hoonie ㅜㅜ  KM: im curious about Hoon's hairstyle.. curious

SH: when im at the camp again  - ill give advise to the kids  - how much they did well  KM: cool  - life sunbae  - i envy them  - living witness

SH: ah right  - what was that  - ill tell something interesting kkk  - Junnie  - receive the rookie award right?  KM: yes  SH: there at MBC  - just when he was receiving the award  - that time was our cleaning time kkk

SH: my junior said - hyung, your group member - he's so cool receiving an award - but you hyung - just do your best cleaning - with the mop KM: that was mean SH: ah i thought it was funny - kkkk KM: kkkk ah that punk junior kkk - how hard did you clean it kkk

SH: no, I didn't mean anything bad - he's a nice kid - mom is excited - she'll drink beer - kkkk KM: so funny kkk - i want beer too SH: i really clean up hard kkk - even seniors are looking at me - because im cleaning too hard

KM: why are you trying so hard kkk SH: no? - the higher my rank goes - the more i should work hard KM: should we send more cleaning supplies to the military camp? SH: the cleaning supplies are good enough, it's okay

KM: how's the food? SH: the food - it's very delicious - really - at the boot camp KM: i want to try it SH: it's really delicious when i first get to eat it - i gained 7 kilos 

KM: what's the most delicious food? SH: the most delicious one - stir fried vienna sausage - the best

SH: i have to work out & lose weight now KM: was there such a day where there are leftovers? SH: no such day - there's a futsal field too - really, there's nothing more i can ask for with futsal & football kkk - but there are over 60 people (in the chat) - less than 10 are talking

KM: it's lagging, slow. is it only me SH: not lagging for me KM: are u using a computer oppa? SH: yup, im on a computer kkkk - who wants to do a 1:1 chat with me KM: it's your bday, are u not going out somewhere? SH: it's my bday but where do i go? - gotta spend it w/ my family

SH: actually yesterday was really..kkkk - ey - chatting with kissmes (abt it) - wow - I'll tell you what - i'll leave it to your imagination KM: what is it - you didnt walk on four legs, did you? SH: no, i usually set my target KM: looks like you drink well

KM: oppa how many bottles can you drink SH: 3 bottles of soju - i cant drink that much - Hoonie is really - a heavy drinker - Hoonie can drink 6 bottles KM: wow that's doubled SH: kkkk KM: did Jun drink a lot too? SH: Jun dont drink - because Jun is an idol, he dont drink

KM: but youre an idol too oppa SH: ey, im an artist - i have to protect Jun KM: Kiseop was not there? - do you become an artist when you go to the army? - could it be that jun is an al-sseu? SH: ah kiseop was with his family - he wasnt able to come SH: what is al-sseu? - al-sseu? KM: alcohol trash (cant drink alcohol, gets drunk easily) SH: ah~~ kkk - al-kko - alcohol kkomaengie (kid)

Soohyun: limak (a member on fc, one who said he became an artist when he went army hahaha) - who are you - you keep ignoring me ㅠㅠ KM: oppa you know in-ssa/ a-ssa, right? SH: yes i know in-ssa - ey limak: please dont shoot meㅠㅠ SH: kk kiki

by the way...  in-ssa > insider > popular friend/person  a-ssa > outsider > a friend/ someone who aint popular

KM: oppa what is ae-ppae-si Soohyun: if you remove aegyo, there's dead body (this can be used in positive way as someone who pretty much uses aegyo a lot or negatively as someone who doesn't have much outside of their aegyo) - yah, i know that much KM: i didnt know that

SH: give me questions KM: JMT SH: jon-mat-taeng (slang for very delicious) KM: JGT - man-ban-jal-bu SH: jgt? what's that KM: jol-gwi-taeng (slang for freaking cute) SH: man-ban-jal-bu? KM: nice to meet you, please take care of me (MANnaseo BANgawo JAL BUtakhae)

SH: give me just half of the dumplings - jal~~~ tu~~~ e~~ - bok-se-pyeon-sal? - strong abs, soft slice of boiled beef (not the real meaning of it, he made this one up) KM: kkk, no - what was that SH: ah it's hard kkk KM: let's live simply in this complex world SH: nice

SH: tmi - too much information (wrote it in hangul) KM: ooh~ - too much information (in english) SH: thank you~ - i cant write that in english KM: what's o-jal? SH: slice the cucumber finely (another made up meaning by him hahaha, right one: you did well today too) - o-jal

[blockthismap]

TUMBLR GLITCH | WHY IM INACTIVE RN

Hello yes incase you dont know Apple is forcing tumblr to do something about the child porn here on Tumgle.hell by removing the app from the app store, which is good but whats very ungood is that @staff is bad at doing the tumblr and made a bot to purge the CP and now its purging random, okay blogs. I have no idea if/when this is getting sorted (or if it already has) but as a means to protect my blog i have been inactive.

If this blog is purged:

I will be moving to @block-this-map-discourse . If my main and all my sidebloge get purged you can find me under @block-this-map (i have created this blog in advance but it has absolutely nothing on it)

If your blog is purged or is in danger of being purged:

These guides will help you keep all your blog content and/or recover your blog:

https://altruisticartistry.tumblr.com/post/180283796095/for-those-unaware-because-staff-isnt-saying-it

https://altruisticartistry.tumblr.com/post/180287703015/when-this-is-all-over-itll-be-hilarious-tips

Important notes about the glitch:

As of november 20th, 2018 this is a live glitch

I have not seen any updates about the glitch as of november 23rd 2018, - it could be passed already

Your blog CAN be recovered if it is removed during the glitch

As far as i know if you want to back up your posts you must be on the desktop site (which means you need to use a computer- especially if you have a 16gb phone and your blog has been around since like 2014)

If you often post external links, images (especially nsfw content), or are following nsfw blogs your blog may be at risk. If youre an artist you especially should take the precaution to back up your blog

[pineapple-crow]

OPENING BOXES FROM THE DARK WEB

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MOTHERFUCKIN HATE?

THOSE FUCKING DUMBASSES WHO BUY THOSE FUCKING MYSTERY BOXES AND THEN TAKE NO PRECAUTION BEYOND "OH HERP DERP LETS PUT ON SOME FUCKING GLOVES!! THAT WILL PROTECT ME FROM EVERYTHING!!"

Dear fucking God

First and foremost, The DEEP web and the DARK web are not the same! The Deep web is basically anything that can't be found by conventional search engines. Usually, super specific data that isn't necessarily illegal. The DARK web, however, requires specific software to gain access to, where everyone and everywhere is kept anonymous, and is usually where the illegal stuff happens. To remember easier, the Dark web is a tiny part of the Deep web; it's the house cat of the feline family, only much deadlier and highly illegal. Here's a more in-depth explanation.

Second.

IF YOURE GOING TO OPEN A STRANGE BOX, YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU DONT FUCKING CONTAMINATE SHIT! Holy fucking hell. Wearing just latex gloves is a good precaution, like making sure your phone or wallet are on dry land before you go leaping over a cliff and plunging into the ocean with literally no other fucking protection.

First and foremost: those boxes and their contents could be rigged with ANYTHING. They could be COATED in ANYTHING. Not even focusing on all the fucking potential evidence you're mucking up, you're seriously, SERIOUSLY risking your well being by just going in with FUCKING LATEX GLOVES.

My recommendation, if you're fucking dumb enough to order AND THEN OPEN a fucking MYSTERY BOX FROM THE DARK WEB, is to ensure you have full body protection. Can't afford the snazzy full body suits that criminal investigators have? Have no fears, I'll help your fucking dumbass self out!

Face mask. Could be the dust filters for construction, or a surgical mask. Or alternatively, a bandana

Safety goggles. You can get these for cheap but, if you absolutely can't, then safety glasses work too

Closed toed shoes. CLOSED TOED SHOES! WITH SOMETHING COVERING THEM THAT YOU CAN EASILY TAKE OFF! Like plastic bags or smth

A bandana or scarf to protect your neck

A t shirt, and then a hoodie. A long sleeve hoodie. And make sure the hoodie zips up. This is for several reason. 1. You can put the hood over your head, making sure none of your hair gets mixed with the evidence, and also protects your head from anything that might go flying out and possibly kill you (in terms of pathogens and whatnot). 2. You have long sleeves that can protect your arms just in case, and 3. It's easy to remove in case you get something on the hoodie, and you don't have to run around with a bare-ass chest.

LONG PANTS! Preferably with long johns underneath! Same reason as the hoodie: it'll protect your legs, and if something gets on them then your dumb ass won't be flashing your fucking buttcheeks to the world.

DOUBLE UP THOSE MF GLOVES. You seriously don't know what could happen.

But you know what the ultimate protection is? DON'T OPEN THE FUCKING BOX TO BEGIN WITH!

Secondly, OPEN THE BOX IN A RELATIVELY STERILE ROOM! JFC If there's pathogens or shit in there then that's gonna get all over your room! And if it's in your fucking house, then it could spread! In fact I would recommend doing it in a closed environment that ISNT your residence, and use a disinfected table + a brand new table cloth. Why a new cloth? Well if any trace evidence falls out, the cloth will catch it and then you don't have to worry about handing Grandma's handed down table cloth to the police so they can rule out contamination BECAUSE YOU FINALLY CAME TO YOUR FUCJING SENSES AND REALISED THAT SHIT IS BETTER LEFT TO THE FUCKING AUTHORITIES!

Meanwhile, if you're handling the stuff in the box? DON'T BE TOSSING THAT SHIT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR GODDAMN! Do you know how much trace evidence a person leaves?? Spit, dead skin, hairs, sweat, fingerprints, oils, blood, etc?? And even if not from a person, regional things like dust, pollen, dirt, soil, maybe plastic particles that only come from a select few factories??? All sorts of shit! AMD YOU JUST TOSSING THAT SHIT AROUNF LIKE ITS A GODDAMN BEANIE BAG IS GONNA RUIN THAT FUCKING SHIT! Which means, when you finally come to your senses and TURN THAT SHIT IN INSTEAD OF PUTTING IT IN THE DUMPSTER, the police will hardly be able to do JACK SHIT because your dumb motherfucking ass has contaminated and destroyed everything!!! EVERYTHING!!!

AND DONT JUST BE REACHING IN ALL HERP DERP EITHER! Latex gloves don't protect against sharp objects I REPEAT: LATEX GLOVES DO NOT PROTECT AGAINST SHARP OBJECTS! Whoever thinks otherwise is a FUCKINHG idiot and nothing you say will change my mind on that. Seriously! If instead of handing the box OVER TO THE AUTHORITIES LIKE YOU SHOULD, you decide to open it like a fucking DUMBASS, don't just reach in!!

You could jab yourself on a hypodermic needle, or a knife, or literally anything else capable of piercing skin, and then ya know what's gonna fuckin happen? 1. You've now contaminated the fucking evidence 2. YOU'RE NOW AT RISK TO CONTRACT A BLOODBORNE PATHOGEN AND/OR FUCKING DIE! Holy fucking God, use a flashlight and a pair of tongs for God's sake. A STERILIZED pair of tongs because again: CONTAMINATION (and also you're probably gonna have to hand those tongs over too since they came into contact with everything, so might as well buy a brand new pair you're not sentimental over).

Also! Since this apparently needs to be said: DO NOT TURN ON ANY ELECTRICAL DEVICES YOU ARE SENT, AND DO NOT PLUG ANY ELECTRICAL OR TECHNOLOGICAL DEVICES OR ITEMS INTO YOUR COMPUTER! I'm looking at you, Fuckwits-who-see-a-thumb-drive-and-think-its-totally-save-to-just-plug-it-in. Seriously! First and foremost, the devices like phones could have tracking software, meaning they could be relaying your location to somewhere the moment they're powered on. Which btw I hope to GOD if you're dumb enough to order one of these, you at least have it sent to a PO box and NOT YOUR REAL FUCKING HOUSE! AND! Phones have cameras! They could be taking your photo and posting it all over the fucking web!! And thumb drives? You plugging that in could end up installing some sort of virus or malware that can seriously jeopardize your safety and/or ruin your life! The dark web isn't called the dark web because everyone who uses it is a philanthropic saint who throws fucking flowers everywhere!

Also! Fuckin evidence! Again! Both phones and thumb drives could have self-destruct programs that erase any sort of evidence if the proper steps are not taken, which means you fiddling around with this shit WILL ONCE AGAIN RUIN EVIDENCE AND HINDER THE POLICE IF A CRIME HAS INDEED OCCURRED! So just fucking turn it in once you get it!!

And for the love of God. If you're finally deciding to turn this shit in, buy brand new rolls of sheets (it is HIGHLY recommended that most if not all evidence is put into some sort of breathable material, preferably paper bags, NOT plastic, or fresh, unused metal paint cans for arson evidence), put everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) back into the box, then triple fuckin wrap that bullshit, then drive it to your police station and tell them EVERYTHING, every FUCKING step from the moment you decided to PURCHASE the box, and hope to God you didn't just help some perpetrator get away with his crime.

But the #1, 100% fail-safe and idiot-proof way to avoid getting hurt from anything inside a mystery box from the dark web is...

DON'T FUCKING ORDER A GODDAMN MYSTERY BOX OFF THE WEB IN THE FIRST PLACE!

[ruslanalekseev]

Was Hiruzen a Good Hokage?

No. As many people have already pointed out, Hiruzen was very indecisive, and he always did what his advisors told him to. Which wouldnt be that bad, if not the fact that almost every single one of their decisions were suggested to them by Danzo.

Hiruzen might have had good intentions, but good intentions wont do you much good, if:You orchestrate the massacre of one of the founding clans in your village. You dont react to bullying towards the villages probably most valuable shinobi.You cant even bring yourself to killing one of the greatest criminals from your village

· Suggested Reading

What if a gay person was elected as the POTUS?

We have already had a gay President. James Buchanan Jr. was the 15th President (18571861) He was a member of the Democratic Party.

The only president to remain a bachelor, Buchanan's personal life has attracted great historical interest. Buchanan had a close and intimate relationship with William Rufus King, an Alabama politician. Buchanan and King lived together in a Washington boardinghouse for many years, from 1834 until King's departure for France in 1844.

King referred to the relationship as a "communion", and the two attended social functions together. Contemporaries also noted the closeness. Andrew Jackson called King "Miss Nancy" and prominent Democrat Aaron V.

Brown referred to King as Buchanan's "better half", "wife" and "Aunt Fancy"

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How did Canada manage to control COVID 19 so well despite its shared border with the US?

When doctors and scientists here in Canada told us that the COVID-19 virus would not only kill some people, but others who contracted the disease might suffer permanent damage to organs and body systems, we listened and became afraid. Then, when it was shown some young children also suffered devastating organ failures, we knew we must all do what we can to protect ourselves and others.

We didnt each need to personally know someone who has been so affected, we just imagined how our own actions could cause this result. For some reason, Americans do not seem to feel that same empathy for their fellow citizens. Tragic and sad

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What is the significance of WhatsApp for Facebook?

Why did Facebook acquire WhatsApp at such a hefty price of $19 billion?

Let us think about it. Say you are talking to your girlfriemd and you decide to go for a movie coming weekend.

It is not a big information for you. But for facebook it is a priceless piece of information. Since it they know now that you ar going to the movie they will project all the ads that is pertaining to movie going.

. Hence facebook achieves a greater accuracy of targeted ads. And hence 19Billion dollars.

Also facebook knows everything about you except your messages to your intimate people. Now that they bought whatsapp they literally know everything about you to sell you out when the time comes.

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Will Joe Biden be worse than Trump?

Worse at what? I guess it depends on what you value and what you place importance on. If youre a Republican partisan it doesnt matter what Biden does itll be worse than Trump.

If youre a Democrat partisan it doesnt matter what Biden does because itll be better than Trump. If youre an independent youll recognize that all Presidents have pluses and minuses. Theyll do things at annoy you and things youll applaud.

I didnt vote for Trump in 16 and hes done things I despise and things I applaud. I didnt vote for Obama either time and he did thinks I liked and things I hated

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Do many Chinese people hate Fujianese people?

I don't know where did you get this view.

In college, I had a roommate coming from Fujian who is an authentic, courteous, helpful person with lots of computer's knowledge. Every time our computers occur in problems, our first thought is to seek for his help not to go maintenance store straightly because of its expensive charge. There are a few Fujianese.

as far as I'm concerned, They all good person through conversation and cooperation. But, I can't say Fujianese all good people since I had met all good Fujianese. In working with people, The significant thing We need to do is giving our sincere heart to them.

Similarly, you will be rewarded for your sowing.

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How old should a kid be before seeing Deadpool?

FWIW, the airline cut is devoid of *all* sexual content (to the point of blurring out the slight glimpse of butt-crack visible in the opening credits, as well as losing the Stan Lee cameo), but I dont believe they removed *any* of the violence or swearing.

What a country!As for child-appropriateness, it depends on the child. I was OK with my kid seeing the airline cut because he never swears and he doesnt like gory violence (it wasnt too gruesome on my 5 phone screen).

Other kids his age may not be able to handle this material. Heck, I know adults who wouldnt do so well with this material

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How can we stop people from throwing garbage in the empty plots?

Please know that if people throw biodegradable garbage only in an empty plot after removing all plastics and dry wastes, you are actually replenishing the ground.

This will improve vegetation of the plot.The second approach is to promote home composting and community composting. This can happen only if there is source segregation.

Third approach is to penalize through a law.Instal leaves composter in the entrance of the plot and encourage people to deposit the dried leaves into it. Many aesthetically good looking composters are available.

The process is very simple and no stink involved.Be creative and you will have many more options. Cheers.

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Could we derive energy from gravity in space?

You mean free flowing gravity? Yes.

Look at a grandfather clock and see the weights it has to keep it going. Except for dams most of the ways are small but all together make up huge amounts. You could use the same clock system method with a much larger counter weight and just by hand moving it back up daily to the top would generate constant power.

In other words you could produce huge amounts of potential power by a little daily hand labor.Now you got me wondering if there is a natural limit it this because it is not being done or that people are just lazy in not doing this

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How will the GOP change if Trump loses to Biden?

I dont think they will change at all, at least in the short term.

Trumps presidency has done one useful thing - exposed the corrupt innards of the Democratic party, and the Republicans, with or without Trump, are going to want to follow through on things, especially when the Durham report comes out. Trump has also shown how to do things economically, such that even Biden wants to plagiarize him. Theres been absolutely nothing wrong with his policies.

They were working great prior to the pandemic and theres no reason to think they wont work again when things finally get back to normal

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Who is the best teacher for sociology for the UPSC optional preparation in Delhi?

Hello there .I am a Civil engineer , who did not have any prior knowledge about sociology .

I was an expressive person and with the suggestions of friends , I chose sociology as my optional .I went to Pranay Aggarwal Sir and that was the best decision I made . Reasons :-He took classes in small batches with led me to focus more on the subject .

He is very interactive which makes sociology come out very naturally from oneself .He is very helpful and extremely accepting of different ideas which gave me confidence and started loving the subject . His notes are all encompassing and I can vouch for it

------

Why was Paul Manafort sent to prison?

This just reported by NY Times:Banker Accused of Arranging $16 Million in Loans to Manafort to Gain High-Level Trump PostA banker in Chicago has been changed with trying to buy an appointment as Treasury Secretary. He arranged $16 million in loans to Paul Mafort. I dont know if the prosecutors knew about that alleged crime when Manafort was sent to prison.

This news certainly speaks to what kind of person Manafort is. It continues to astound me how corrupt Trump is that he picks people like Manafort. How can Trump voters have been so clueless to have voted for this narcissistic(oops, I better restrain myself).

------

Why was the Roman Empire so successful?

the roman empire was successful in its government form.it probably had the most advanced government in ancient times, a republic which represent each of the classes in society.

Outsiders or barbarians could also aspire to gain citizenship if they work hard enough, slaves could gain or buy their freedom. This makes roman empire have a equal opportunity system similar to the american dream.But things slowly deteriorated once ceasar become dictator for life, or sulla and marius trying to monopolize power through using the military triumphs.

It lead to rise of emperors and rulers not acccountable to the public, and right to rule slowly degenerate into hereditary succession or military coup.

------

Did the music of led Zeppelin change your life?

Yes!

As does every song does, some more than others. The Rain Song played while I was enjoying the company of a young lady I met on Manhattan Beach as I was coming out the ocean, exhausted from surfing for 5 hours. I collapsed on my board and was laying there taking in the scene when this beautiful blonde girl with curly hair, piercing blue eyes, and a body of a Black girl, blocked the sun, looked down and said are you ok?

. That was the beginning of summer of 91 and we had fun. Especially the night we spent in a motel on the beach, listening to led Zeppelin

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Who is the most under appreciated American president?

Adams greatest war president in our nations history.When almost everyone in the young country wanted war with France egged on by that snake Jefferson. Adams held back, he understood war was not necessary would be destructive and would cripple the country for decades, he also well understood his stand would likely cost him his reelection but he stood firm.

The country did not go to war but he did loose his office. Such a shame the country remembers the man who did his most noble service as a citizen under an English king and not the man who formed the nation after the Revolutionary War

------

Why did you leave Hinduism for Islam?

People group or regroup into religion for rudimentary security reasons, not due to any love for a religion.

Any person who understands the first alphabet of any religion will know the purpose of religion is to help and serve the society he or she lives selflessly, particularly those who donu2019t follow his/her beliefs and faith has to be served, loved and cared.If someone thinks that his/her religious group is better than the other, it discredit the fundamental first alphabet of the religion. Islam, Hinduism or any religion in the world, if it is practiced by grouping and subgrouping its practioners, it is deplorably divisive for the society and in general human welfare

------

In WW2 during the Battle of France, why did it take so long for France to surrender?

Why didn't France surrender earlier?

France waited so that the English could be evacuated from Dunkirk. They held the German back while the small boats could get in and get the boys home.

Then they had a resistance to organise not easy when you have a whole lot of tanks running over your toes. Finally, the Italians decided to pop in for a late entry in the game of conquest so they had them to send packing. Then they surrendered.

That is to say the French Government surrendered, the French people on the other hand fought on.If you have ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, you see just how ferocious the French can be in their taunting of opponents.

[neurowitchcraft]

Hello! I was wondering if you could inform me about how curse sigils work? How are they cast and how do you lift them? Thank you

Uh im not really a expert on this and I don’t know othertechniques people use but I can tell you what I do

I use curse sigils in 2 cases

1 to protect something by cursing those who mess with it, solike to curse those who open my journal or who steal from my purse, I have anelectric one in certain folders on my computer to curse those who look wherethey are not supposed to

These are done by just drawing+charging the sigil on whatyou want to protect/curse, you have to be careful to include in the sigil toONLY curse people looking when they are not supposed to be

A lot of people talk about cursing yourself which, honestly Inever worry about that like, you cast the curse you should be good if your intent isstrong but you don’t wanna curse your friend like “hey go get my lipstick outof my purse” and boom cursed, like you want to make sure its just people whoare not supposed to be looking

To lift this I would remove/paint over the sigil and cleansethe object

2 Is to like bind a curse to someone/thing, like a long termcourse

For a person I would use a picture, or representation ofthem, draw the sigil over it, and burn to charge. For an object it would needto be something I really didn’t want anyone to mess with, or maybe a curse jar,and I haven’t ever done this. But I suppose i would draw it on the thing andput it somewhere no one would ever get to it because that would be my intentthere but I haven’t ever had something like this so eh

I have done the first one tho and I don’t lift these. I dothese kinda curses on someone I want to curse forever, someone I don’t thinkcan be redeemed.

These are serious, and long-term curses. In my almost 8 years of witchcraft I have done two, one Ican say worked very well and is still working, and the other I am not sure. ButI wouldn’t take these lightly, and if I had to remove it I would probably tryand find the same picture, draw another sigil on it to remove the cursed one,and then burn it in the same way. but i dont do those with the intent of removing them

anyway if any followers could help out with some more general information that isnt like “this is how tristin does it” specific that would be cool because i bet there are some other ways, i just dont really know of them

good luck, stay safe

-tristin

[paranoidsbible]

An Internet Primer

===An Internet Primer=== Non-profit and free for redistribution Written on August 24th | 2016 Published on August 24th | 2016 For entertainment and research purposes only

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===DISCLAIMER=== The Paranoid's Bible and its writers hold no responsibility for the acts of others. The Paranoid’s Bible is for research and entertainment purposes only. Please visit our blog for more PDFs and information: http://www.paranoidsbible.tumblr.com/ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===Preface=== While many still argue about how their own views on the history of the internet are the truth, we do know the core timeline consists of the “Electronic computer” being developed in the 1950s. From there the ARPANET was created and quickly adopted the Internet Protocol, which soon began a wildly discussed and argued about origin story of the internet sometime in the 80s. However, while many will even argue the core facts to the point of the internet being born either earlier or later in the timeline, we do know that Usenet wasn’t too far away. With the birth of Usenet, things like the BBS, Internet forum and terms like “Eternal September” quickly cropped up in a rapid session of growth and expanse. Now things like Blogging or Social Media are common, and people with rose tinted glasses grow remorseful of how inclusive the internet has become. Now, the early adopters and users aren’t too far off with their remorse, sadly… You see, many of the modern day users have grown complacent and wholly unaware of even the simplest uses of OPSEC. This guide aims at giving the average user a simple and quick primer to enhance their privacy and security when using the internet. This guide isn’t a quick-fix or one-button solution to your problems or concerns, however it’s better than nothing when paired with the other guides listed in the “Blue Primer”. __References__ • Net History (http://www.nethistory.info/History of the Internet/origins.html) • Internet Society (http://www.internetsociety.org/internet/what-internet/history-internet/brief-history-internet) • History of the Internet (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Internet) • ARPANET (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARPANET) • Internet protocol (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Protocol) • Usenet (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usenet) • BBS (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulletin_board_system) • Internet Forum (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_forum) • Eternal September (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_September) • OPSEC (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operations_security) • Blog (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog) • Social Media (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_media) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===The Browser=== The gateway to the internet, for the modern and average user, is their browser (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Web_browser). It’s a piece of software meant to help people transverse the World Wide Web by retrieving and presenting information resources taken from the internet. The modern browser is pre-built, requires hardly any tweaking, and is rarely, if ever, fully customizable. However, as more people aim for a free software or an open-source style of use, more browsers do offer some level of customization that range from modifying the settings under the hood to themes and other frivolous aesthetical customizations. With so many choices, people usually stick to Internet Explorer or Google chrome; however these browsers leave a lot of wanting when it comes to usability. Chrome also has a notorious past of spying on you (http://betanews.com/2015/06/24/is-google-chrome-spying-on-you/) without giving you a warning, which shouldn’t be such a surprise with all the claims of Chrome being a botnet (https://wiki.installgentoo.com/index.php/Botnet) and not asking permission (http://www.netcompetition.org/antitrust/google-on-chrome-we-dont-need-your-permission) for accessing a user’s computer. Ultimately, anything with Microsoft or Google is unavoidable, sadly, and a lot of work has to take place in order to avoid leaking information or having it sold. But that’s the way things flow as of late, especially when “Don’t Be Evil” is dropped in favor of “Do the Right Thing” (http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/2015/10/02/as-google-becomes-alphabet-dont-be-evil-vanishes/). So, what does that mean for the average user? Research your quickly dwindling choices for what browser you should use, which will reside between two browsers and one’s many, many flavors. If you want something other than Mozilla Firefox, then try Brave (https://brave.com/) (Not recommended due to its newness) or Palemoon (https://www.palemoon.org/) (Based upon a fork of Firefox) or IceCat (https://www.gnu.org/software/gnuzilla/). However, for the sake of usability and quick to use features, we recommended, begrudgingly, Mozilla Firefox (https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/new/). When you visit Firefox’s webpage, select the appropriate version for your operating system. Once downloaded, double click and follow the on screen prompts. When it comes to selecting “Standard” or Custom” ensure you select custom. ***Leave the default installation path, unless you wish to install elsewhere. *** ***The reason for removing the installation service is quite simple: *** Less communication between the browser and other sources, the less information leaked. Now ensure you've also unchecked/disabled the "Maintenance service" before proceeding. Selecting shortcuts/icons is ultimately up to you. The same applies to it being the default browser—it’s up to you. Once installed, it’s time for some basic customization and add-on installation. The first thing you’ll notice is an “import wizard” pop-up. You don’t want to import anything unless you’ve some backups of your bookmarks. Other than that, ignore it and wait for the browser to load. From there, we’ll ignore the “Firefox account” prompt. You don’t want to sync or backup, anything, unless it’s an html or json file for your bookmark backups. Syncing accounts and saving passwords spells doom, gloom and big brother (sometimes literally your big brother or sister) spying on your info and peaking into your accounts and other online items (if not leaking it in a data dump). Seriously, ignore prompts to sync or save information. You’ll also want to ignore the private browsing mode. It’s not private, information is still saved, and people can still use exploits to get at your information. Press the ALT button on your keyboard to get the menu bar to appear. From there, select the tools menu and then the “Options” submenu.   Press ALT button > Tools menu > Options sub-menu. When the options window pops up, you’ll want to start in the “General tab” Disable/uncheck “Always check if Firefox is your default browser” and set your homepage to whatever you want. Never let files save to downloads, you want to have it “Always ask” where to save them. On top of that disable all the "Tabs" options but "Open news windows in a new tab instead". We do suggest using “Start Page” (https://www.startpage.com/) for your homepage and search engine needs. Now click the "Search" tab and uncheck everything and delete all the "One-click Search Engines" options. From there, Go to the start page website, you should see an “Add to Firefox” option, select that. You should also, to prevent accidental use, remove all other search engines from the “Search” tab. Google, among several other engines, tend to cache and keep track of your search history and click stream (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clickstream). On top of that, Google, Yahoo, Microsoft, and a few others, will store and keep your search history saved to your accounts if logged into them, at all, while searching. On the “Content tab,” uncheck/disable everything but "Block pop-up windows". Now select the “Advanced” button and click it. From there, disable the option titled "Allow pages to choose their own fonts, instead of my selection above". This just prevents sites from using intrusive and generally distasteful fonts and also limits their control over your browsing experience and browser.   Everything in the “Applications tab” should be set to always ask or preview in Firefox. The only thing you can safely set to a default application would be shockwave flash, which should be disabled by default in the plug-ins menu. The “Privacy tab” should be straightforward; however most will recommend that you disable “Third-party cookies" but since this primer is aimed at providing some security, privacy, yet retain usability for the average user… You should disable everything but: "Use Tracking Protection in Private Windows"; "Accept cookies from sites"; Clear history when Firefox closes. Set 3rd party cookie to never, if you wish, however some banking sites lose functionality due to this. You should also set "Keep until" to "I close Firefox". Now click the "settings..." tab on on the Privacy menu and select everything there. In the “Security tab,” it’s again straightforward; however please do understand that the whole “Blocking dangerous and deceptive content” options are disabled due to the fact that, again, the less communication given over to the browser and its creators the better you’re off security and privacy wise. Basically uncheck everything but "Warn me when sites try to install add-ons".   ***Ignore the sync tab. *** Everything in the “Advanced tab” is straight forward and should be self explanatory. Advanced > General > Disable/uncheck everything but the four settings under "Browsing. Advanced > Data Choices > Uncheck all Advanced > Network > Check all and set cache to 0 Advanced > Update > Uncheck all and set to "Never check for updates" Advanced > Certificates > Set to "Ask me every time" and check the one setting there. Once done, exit out of Firefox and start it up again. This is just to ensure everything sticks and is working due to some of the more current versions of Firefox have had a habit to ignore settings from time to time and resetting things to default. Now we’ll go to the Firefox Add-on page and work our way toward customizing Firefox a bit to improve usability and its overall feel. First off, we’ll work on the aesthetics aspect a bit just to improve the overall feel of the browser due to its copy-catting of the Apple simplicity meme. ***You’ll want these add-ons:*** • Black YouTube Theme - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/black-youtube-theme • Classic Theme Restorer - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/classicthemerestorer/ • Smaller View - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/smaller-view/?src=search You should notice a considerable difference in your browser once restarted. More precisely, it’ll be easier to navigate and find your menus now. The YouTube theme is simply preference and feels easier on the eyes compared to the default theme of the site. Now, before we continue forward with the add-ons. Let’s do a bit of tweaking to the look of the browser. You should see icons on the upper right-hand corner. Right-click on the icons and select “Customize,” which should open up a new tab/window that’ll allow you to move the icons as you wish.   Remove all the icons present, except the down arrow/download icon. From there, close the window and right-click on the bar, again, and select the three bars/toolbars shown. You can also ignore the “Menu Bar” option if you wish to just use the orange drop-down menu. In the URL bar, type in About:config. You should see something similar like the below cap. Uncheck the “Show this warning next time”. And then, from there, click the “I’ll be careful, I promise!” button. In the search bar within the about:config window, ***enter this:*** browser.newtabpage.directory.source You should see a string with the name you searched, double-click it and delete the string of text. Once done, exit out of that tab and open a new tab. Click the cog wheel icon in the right-hand corner and select “Show blank page”. You should now be rid of those pesky tiles and most of the ADs that Firefox forces down your throat. You can now add the rest of the add-ons, which you can find listed below. Add-ons: • Better Privacy - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/betterprivacy/ • BluHell Firewall - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/bluhell-firewall/ • Configuration Mania - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/configuration-mania-4420/ • Decentraleyes - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/decentraleyes/ • Disconnect - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/disconnect/ • HTTPS Everywhere - https://www.eff.org/Https-everywhere • PureURL - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/pure-url/ • Quick Java - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/quickjava/ • Self-Destructing Cookies - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/self-destructing-cookies/ • Smart Refer - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/smart-referer/ • Track Me Not - https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/trackmenot/ Now restart the browser. You should get a pop-up from HTTPS Everywhere, hit “No” and then right-click anywhere and select “Customize”. You’ll want everything arrange to your own taste, note that there exists an icon with two cog wheels. This belongs to “Configuration mania” and should be added for ease of use and access. Now, click the orange menu button and click the add-on menu. We’ll be working our way down the list, alphabetically, and modifying a handful of settings for some of the add-ons before we end this chapter. Starting with “Better Privacy,” go ahead and hit “Options”. You’ll want to select the “Options & Help” tab and adjust your settings to look similar to the ones listed below: •    Delete flash cookies on exit - checked •    Add LSO item to Firefox ‘Clear History’ dialog – unchecked •    Always ask - unchecked •    Delete flash cookies on application start - checked •    Delete cookies by timer – checked •    Not if modified within time interval – checked •    Time interval 1 second •    LSO delete shortcut – blanked •    Also delete flashplayer default cookie – checked •    On cookie deletion also delete empty cookie folders – checked •    Notify if new LSO is stored – unchecked •    Auto protect LSO sub-folders – checked •    Disable ping tracking •    Prevent Firefox ‘Clear recent history function’ – checked •    Portable mode – unchecked  Everything else can be ignored and you can go directly to “Configuration Mania” and select “Options”. Browser tab > Tab Browsing > Everything checked but the below: •    Enable about:newtab – unchecked •    Close the window when closing its last tab – unchecked •    Open the results in a new tab when searching from search bar –unchecked •    On CTRL + TAB – unchecked •    On taskbar (windows 7) – unchecked Now head over to the “Bookmark icons (favicons)” tab. Browser tab > Bookmark icons > Uncheck the two settings there. Finally go to the “Web API” tab in browser tab and deselect/uncheck everything there. From there, find the “Security” tab that should be right under the “Browser” tab and select the “Javascript” tab, everything there should be checked and all the other tabs left alone. Now, before we select “Smart Refer” please go to about:Config by entering “About:config” into the URL bar. From there, search for: network.http.sendRefererHeader You’ll want to either set it to 0 to not send a ref or to 1 to keep things somewhat clean and compatible. 2, however, is default and will always send a ref. So, ‘0’ if you don’t want to send a ref or ‘1’ to prevent most cross-site tracking and keep compatibility when visiting websites. Now go to “Smart Refer” and select “Options”. ***Set the drop down to: *** Send nothing as a referrer, looking like a direct hit. Once done, go and mosey on over to “Track Me Not” and hit “Options”. Set your settings as such: •    Enabled – checked •    Use tab search – unchecked •    Enable query burst – checked •    All search engines checked •    Query frequency: 10 per min •    Disabled – checked •    Persistent – unchecked •    Use list – checked •    Generate queries – unchecked Once you’re in TMN’s options, you’ll want to use recommend  RSS feeds for the add-on (hit validate once done): http://www.nytimes.com/services/xml/rss/nyt/HomePage.xml|http://rss.cnn.com/rss/cnn_topstories.rss|http://rss.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032091/device/rss/rss.xml|http://www.theregister.co.uk/headlines.rss|www.reddit.com/r/science/.rs|http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/.rss|http://www.reddit.com/r/kawaii.rss|http://www.reddit.com/r/kittens.rss|http://www.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace.rss|http://www.reddit.com/r/steam.rss We also recommend these words for your black list: bomb,porn,pornographie, porn, pornography, rape, rapists, rape culture, bombs, pipebomb, ied, bdms, bdsm, raping, raped, murder, murdering, lolicon, loli, cp, child porn, pthc, jbhc, shota, shotacon, ISIS, ISIL   Once done with the add-ons, head on over to about:Config once more. You’ll want to implement these three settings to ensure you limited some of the tracking methods employed by websites and online trackers commonly found on Tumblr and other social media platforms. ===Settings to change:=== • browser.display.use_document_fonts = 0 • dom.storage.enabled = false • browser.sessionhistory.max_entries = 2 Once done, you can add whatever add-ons you want, ***however remember this simple rule: *** If you don’t need or use it, don’t install it or enable it. That’s why we had you install Quick-Java. Quick Java’s little bar, which is added to Firefox upon installation, allows you to disable and enable certain plug-ins on the fly. This is a wondrous little time saver and is a good thing to have at hand when you wish to browse the internet. When browsing, without having to login or watch something, your settings with quick-java should look something like this:  Everything red/disabled but I (Images); A (Animations); CS (Style) When you do need to log into an account or want to watch YouTube or something similar, you’ll need it to look like this: Everything red/disabled but JS (Javascript); C (Cookies); I (Images); CS (Style) Give or take the fact that you may need to enable flash (The “F” button). However, YouTube, and some other sites, are offering the use of HTML5 and Flash. So, if you don’t need to enable flash, don’t do so. Flash can leak a lot of data in the end. It also helps to outright not have anything enabled (sans the last three buttons) when you’re just doing research or looking up something. Only enable cookies and JavaScript (the “JS” and “C” buttons) when you actively need to log into an account or a website. This will help lessen the data diarrhea your browser has and help you retain some privacy without breaking your browser, yet many more configurations and add-ons are needed to even achieve some form of security or privacy. ***And, just as an FYI: *** This shouldn’t break your browser, at all, or your use of any websites. If something doesn’t work properly, try disabling BluHell Firewall by clicking the blue-devil icon on your browser. If that doesn’t work, try disabling Clean links, which has an icon of a broom wrapped in a chain-link. Outside of those two add-ons, you don’t need to disable anything as nothing should break or prevent you from logging into any websites. Ultimately though, this configuration, and the add-ons suggested, only helps lessen the effectiveness of the trackers and counters offered to civilians and the public at large. Some Ads will be blocked, along with a metaphorical ton of malicious content, however you’ll need to look into using Peerblock and Hostman if you want to lessen it even more so than what you can with this browser setup. We offer two guides that discuss the use of Peerblock and Hostman, among other things. However, save those for a later date as they’re a bit more advanced than what this guide has to offer. We’ll also be hosting what we call the “Blue Primer,” which is an archive of the most basic of information for those who wish to lessen their data footprint, prevent tracking and lessen their chances of being doxed. If you haven’t gotten this guide from the blue primer, please look into downloading it and reading the other guides within it. As for this chapter of this guide… you’re done! Move on to the next chapter, reader. ***P.S:*** Avoid using password storage, password sorters and similar features or add-ons. Write down your password, if you must, and hide it where no-one will find it but you. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===E-mail=== Electronic mail (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Email), shortened to E-mail, is one of many means to exchange digital messages between computers and their users. However, since seeing frequent use in the 60s to now, e-mail has become used more as a means of identification than communication when needing to sign up for an account or do some sort of business based task, or being a responsible adult and working on your taxes or banking. Now, e-mail is just one of the many methods sites use to prevent bots, scammers and spammers from joining their communities. When you need to sign up for an account, you usually need to provide an e-mail from a provider that they’ve yet to blacklist (***Example:*** most common temporary e-mail services have been blocked by FaceBook). The average internet user will usually use of the main three: Google; Hotmail/Live/Outlook; Yahoo. •    https://www.gmail.com/ •    https://login.live.com/ •    https://login.yahoo.com/ Sometimes Yandex (https://mail.yandex.com/), among similar non-US based e-mail providers will be used, however the main three tend to rule. The issue with the main three (Shortened from now on to MT) is that they require a lot of data and “verifications” to ensure that it’s you who’re signing up or at least not someone with malicious intent. This wouldn’t be such a large issue if it wasn’t for the fact that the MT are notorious data collectors who work in unison with the government, among other groups, to not only data-mine and spy, but also possibly put down dissenters. If any of this comes to light as being true and not just some gossiping theories put forth by many privacy groups, then that just shows how much of your information is at stake. However, with the MT track records, it shouldn’t be that big of a stretch to see how or why they’d work with the government. But what does this mean for you, someone who needs an e-mail address and doesn’t want to risk their information or someone knowing they’re a part of “Sexy Jewish Singles” with the kink of “Eating pork on the Sabbath”? Well, the first step you should take, outside of doing the bare minimum to secure your browser, would be to look into using alternative e-mail providers when signing up for an account. There are numerous providers, however not all will exist or become permanent fixtures in the years to come, which means you have to pay attention to news and keep an eye on the services to use. As of now, Privacy Tools has a wonderful list of e-mail providers (https://www.privacytools.io/#email) you can use, and since most of us are frugal-minded to the point of being cheap, these four should hopefully sedate your lust for a free, secure e-mail provider. E-mail providers: • Mail Fence - https://www.mailfence.com/ • Open Mail Box - https://www.openmailbox.org/ • Proton Mail - https://protonmail.com/ • Tutanota - https://tutanota.com/ The four e-mail providers are free, yes, and support a variety of features aimed at protecting your privacy, however they aren’t like your usual e-mail provider. They often don’t ask for a secondary e-mail or a security question, nor do they offer any means to do so in case of someone taking over. Another issue, for many, is the fact that you can’t sync or linking accounts together—this is a good thing, though. Syncing, storing or linking accounts is something you shouldn’t do, at all. Your accounts should always be separated, never touching and kept as far apart from each other as possible. Now, personally, we recommend you use a mix of these e-mails each time you create an account or sign up for some service or another that isn’t tied to you offline(***Example:*** like banking, bills, school or work). You see, as much as we dislike the MT, you should honestly have one account on each specifically for stuff that’s offline. The reason for this is simple: You’ll generate enough of a trail to not be suspicious. For instance, Google, as much as it’s a heavily invasive mega-corp, does have a pretty decent setup for their GMAIL service. You should create an account there and have it used specifically for your banking, bills and similar items. Hotmail/Outlook/Live mail is way below GMAIL, however you should use this specifically for school and similar items to keep people away from your financial records, yet close enough to a normal provider that no one will question you if you simply state that they can send it to you over e-mail instead on some social media site. Yahoo, as much as it’s a disastrous service and corporation, won’t look out of place for business related subjects or questions. It’s simply a matter of coming up with a professional sounding username for the MT accounts and keeping them separated from each other. Never using the same MT account for different applications or accounts, and never letting them touch each other. With that out of the way, however, you should try to keep each account, regardless of the provider, isolated from each other—never using the same user, password, secondary e-mail, or information, ever. The only time you should ever use your legitimate information is for the MT accounts, which should only be used for work, school or financial items. ***Remember:*** Never save your passwords on your computer and never use a password manager. Write down your password and the piece of paper with it somewhere safe and away from people trying to find it. Use a lockbox if you must, but never save this info on your computer. Also look into writing down each account’s information down and hiding that paper, too, so you never forgot it. ***Remember 2:*** Use one of the free e-mail services to create a mess free secondary e-mail to use with the MT e-mails. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===Passwords=== Your password (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Password) is the key to your account, without it you can’t login without going through an entire process of laziness meant to make it easier on the geeks who run the website you’re a part of or at least the “Help desk”. You see, that’s all a lost password request is: Laziness. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy, though, it just means you’re forgetful like everyone else. However, the people who run the site don’t want to deal with properly verifying your claim to your account, so they created these claims of simplicity where you submit a request to retrieve or change your password. That is where laziness comes in. Anyone who spent time researching you and applied a liberal dose of social engineering will be able to guess certain security questions and your e-mail addresses to the point of being able hijack your account(s). This is why it pays to keep e-mails separated, not to use the same username twice, and to have a strong password. Your password should be eight (8) to 15 (15) characters long and consist of randomly select characters that range from upper case letters (ABC) to lowercase letters (abc) to numbers (123), punctuation (.,;?!) and special characters ($%#). Your password will not only be hard to remember, but also hard to guess. This is why you should write it down on a piece of information and hide it in a lockbox or locked drawer where no one will get at it, ever. You should also avoid password managers, syncing your information, using “Master passwords,” reusing your password, or saving it on your computer or phone. Think of your password as a unique key and each account a unique door—you need a specific key for a specific door, ergo never use the same password twice. Always randomize your passwords, their length and the characters used to the point of each one never being overly similar. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===Accounts=== An account is like a membership you apply for when you join a community or a website. And like a membership, the difficulty to obtain an account ranges from something as easy as a username + password or to the near-impossible where you need to provide an arm length’s of information and an invite code. Regardless of what you’re signing up for, however, you need to learn to compartmentalize each account and profile into its own isolated object. You don’t need to interlink your information, account or anything like that. You don’t even need to sync it up to your e-mails or our phone. You don’t need 40+ accounts across the internet. You need what you need, and at that, you only need it if there’s a reason for it. So, in theory, what accounts do you truly need? ===Steam or Origin?=== You don’t need them, however gaming is a decent way to unwind and do something mindlessly to try and clear your head of troublesome thoughts. Honestly, though, do you really need any of those accounts? Well, yes, if you don’t believe in piracy or simply wish to support the developers you prefer. But you don’t need it to live or survive. There are plenty of non-DRM options that range from freeware to physical media options that don’t need an internet connection in order to play it. ===YouTube?=== You don’t need to one to watch videos or enjoy them. You only need an account if you, yourself, plan to comment, rate or upload videos. Do you really need to do that? There hundreds of ways to express yourself that don’t require you sitting in a chair, staring at your computer, and reviewing bottles of Fuji water from when it first was released. You’ll need accounts or simply want to make an account, for whatever reason, and participate in the community or reap the benefits of releasing your information for that slim chance of being “Internet famous”. No matter the reason, though, you need to treat your account and its associated profile as a contained fire during a camping trip. You want to give only as much information as is required, not what they offer you to give up. For instance: Your username shouldn’t be your real name or a nick name that you’ve been called before. It should be completely unique and unrelated to anything else you’ve made, claimed, were called or even thought about using. It should also be different from the e-mail address that you’re using for the account. Ultimately, outside of paid accounts or billing information, not a single thing on your profile should lead back to you or be associated with you or anything related to you. You shouldn’t use the same password, e-mail address, username or anything that you’ve used on another account. And, at that, no account should be linked, synced or associated with each other in any way possible. These accounts and profiles, depending on their settings, should be made as private as possible and be as minimalistic as possible. You could, in theory, supply false information in your bio or “about me” to create a false digital trail just in case, however leaving no information is better than leaving some. And, truthfully, you should avoid having more than ten (10) accounts at any given time. When an account is no longer useful, you should just follow the Paranoid’s Bible PDF and how to properly dispose of an account and the information associated with it. Never leaving a trace behind and letting the account and its information pass peacefully away before deletion. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===Afterword==== This is nothing more than the barest basics needed to keep some sort of privacy when using the internet and trying to avoid being doxed during some kind of discourse. This won’t make you 100% anonymous, nor will it make you undetectable when it comes to the government, yet it’s better than nothing.