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iheartbookbran · 4 years

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Anthony, Penelope, Marina and Colin deserved better...

Beware, rant ahead

Ok I wish I didn’t feel such strong need to continue beating this dead horse but oopsie, I will very much be beating it some more.

Like, my fave books of the Bridgerton series are Anthony’s and Colin’s books, so I’m seething about what they did with their characterizations, Anthony and Penelope in particular, because Colin’s only real sin was being boring, and if you remember how funny he’s in the books it makes me wanna fall on my knees and ask Chris Van Dusen whyyyy omg why would you do something like that to such a dynamic character. So yeah, Colin is boring af and a moron but at least he isn’t an asshole the way show Anthony and Penelope are, and I’ve seen people say that they can always be redeemed in future seasons, if we get them, but that’s exactly my problem, because they never had to be redeemed in the books, to begin with. Penelope more so than Anthony but let me begin by defending my boy.

Is he a jerk sometimes? Sure. Is he actively awful and uncaring towards those close to him, especially his family? Hell no, quite the opposite, in fact. Not to be controversial on main but in the books... he was right in not wanting Daphne to be courted by a man who he knew damn right had no intention of marrying her and as far as he was aware was only making her waste her time, and he was right in demanding Simon pay for compromising her honor. Could he have been more mindful of what Daphne had to say and listened to her wishes? Of course, but considering Simon and Daphne (both in the show and in the books) aren’t exactly masters in communication themselves, Anthony doesn’t come off as the biggest offender in that situation.

What he never did was force Daphne, or any of his sisters really, to do anything; if they didn’t like a guy then that guy was out of their lives no question asked, and he loved them enough to always have their best interests at heart, for his sisters and his brothers, to the point that even though he’s traumatized and thinks he’s gonna die young he’s still willing to get past that to do his duty and marry, because he doesn’t want to pass that burden on to his little brothers (so him deciding to leave all his responsibilities to Benedict so he can fck off with his mistress is... like, a choice lmao). In fact all the subplot with Siena felt like a choice on the writers part, like they truly liked Benedict and Sophie’s story so they just slapped it on Anthony so he could act all sad and sexy while they gave us foreshadowing with the subtlety of a warharmer that he’s ending up with Kate anyways (and that Benedict is ending with Sophie anyways too, so they would be using that storyline twice, unless they do make him bi and fall in love with a man, but maybe that’s too much of ask for this show), so what was Siena’s purpose in the story? Who tf knows not me.

Now Penelope, my god. Yes I know I joke Penny has never done anything wrong in her life, and I still love her, but she was wrong. Very much so. What she did was significantly worse than what Marina did, which I still don’t condone at all. Like yes, I still maintain that Marina tricking Colin into marriage was wrong (and I’ll go later on why that whole subplot was racist af), but what Penelope did could have not only ruined Marina and herself and her sisters reputations, but it was basically condemning an innocent unborn child to a life in the streets, that’s messed up. Even if Marina was rose-coloring her potential life with Colin and he might have grown to resent her, at least the baby would’ve been alright. And my problem with that whole subplot is that all of it was resolved so neatly, with Sir Phillip sweeping in to save the day so we don’t have to actually see what Penelope’s actions could have caused, but the implications are still very much there.

And I’m cracking my mind trying to figure out whether the showrunners just... really hate Colin’s book and Penelope as a character so they’re trying to inflict some kind of character assassination on her so they can get away with writing him off with another person without causing much outrage, or if they just thought there wasn’t enough ~drama~ or stakes on their book so they have to add them, and give him some kind of bullshit tragic romantic past to explain why he doesn’t want to marry, whereas in the books, the reason he doesn’t marry anyone is because he doesn’t feel like it, and that’s ok, there’s no need for every character to have a tragic backstory and to be riddled with angst; Colin is that character, he’s an easy going guy who’s just not interested in marriage until he falls in love with Penny AND THAT’S VALID, just because he doesn’t have the most complex motivations out there doesn’t mean he isn’t a compelling character. The stakes in his story after he discovers Penny is Whistledown are, as he points out, that she has insulted so many people there’s no way some of them wouldn’t want to retaliate if word came out, and he cares for her and doesn’t want her to get hurt (there’s also a dumb part about him being secretly jealous of her accomplishments as Whistledown, but thankfully he gets over that pretty quickly).

But while I am on that, it is true that Penelope wrote some uncharitable things about the mean people around her, but she never ever ruined someone’s reputation, let alone endanger the future of a child. Was she a bitch sometimes? Yeah, but she was also kind to a lot of people and her criticism was never unwarranted and never did more damage than maybe annoy a couple of girls like Cressida. I just hate the idea of this needing to turn into some sort of ~redemption arc~ for Penelope because, again, in the books she really didn’t have to make up for anything, definitely not to Colin, who was actually the one who had to do much of the heavy lifting in their relationship when he realized that he literally slept on her for years.

And now regarding Marina, like yes, she was wrong and I stand by that statement (but not as wrong as Penelope), but tbh I find it hard to be mad at her when they gave her such a racist storyline, as the scheming woc who gets pregnant out of wedlock and then tries to seduce the innocent white man, until the virtuous white girl needs to step up to save him. At least that’s what I thought initially as the writers intention, but honestly I’m not so sure anymore, I doubt they will continue to write her and Colin as a couple otherwise they would’ve bothered to show them interacting outside of her manipulating him and him acting like a bumbling idiot, the most sincere moment they had together was when he comforted her about the lie, but by that time this bitch (me) was empty and didn’t give a shit anymore. Literally all their other interactions where shown through Penelope’s POV to let us know she was sad, and Colin’s most significant scenes where again... with Penelope (because it isn’t as if he has a family and his own moments in the books outside of being an object for Penelope to pine after).

And as I said before, Marina had a—relatively—happy ending: married to a man she doesn’t love (just as she didn’t love Colin) but who will treat her right and care for her and her child in comfort. Is arguably a better ending than if she’d married Colin because now she doesn’t have to go through the trouble of explaining things to her new husband and run the risk of him resenting her forever. Phillip may not love her but he knows who he’s marrying and why he’s marrying her. That’s literally the same fate Marina had in the books, and it makes me wonder why, oh why would the writers do that.

Why create such a contrived plot to give a character who appears in one(1) chapter of an 8 books series then promptly dies, all at the expense of the characterization of one of the most beloved heroines of said books series? Why would you write this racist storyline for a character whose fate is dying? And now I’m horrified at the repercussions that can come with Marina committing su*cide like in canon, because the implications would be that Penelope would be responsible for it (and I hate the idea of blaming one person for the su*cide of another, fictional or otherwise, is harmful and we need to be careful with making such implications), which would make her even less redeemable or like, likable in general. Not to mention that would be like putting the final racist nail in Marina’s coffin by giving her that ending.

It makes me wonder, seriously, if Chris Van Dusen hated Romancing Mister Bridgerton that much, if he loathed the idea of writing a fat character finding love and getting sex that much. I just wanna know why lmfao.

#rant over #if i sound salty is because i am #like there actually were a lot of aspects i did enjoy but i just cannot get past this #though this rant helped me a lot to feel better so there’s that #tellmewhy.gif #anthony bridgerton #penelope featherington #marina thompson #colin bridgerton #polin #tagging them bc i rant quite a lot about how they ruined their relationship #enjoy the salt uwu #bridgerton #bridgerton netflix #bridgerton spoilers #meta #my meta

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 4 years

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Riverdale should have been a Disney show

Riverdale should have been a Disney show. There I said it. I'll admit the first season was fine Great even. Self-contained with an intriguing mystery and you waited at the edge of your seat for what will happen next. But then... Part of the problem for me is because I've read the original comics since I was a girl. I still do get some from my mom, and the way they have changed the characters just bug me.Betty used to be the girl next door, always hopeful, smart, trying to figure out the mystery. And it was perfect that she was a reporter because Betty was always someone who valued honesty so her being the roving reporter was perfect. And her taking pills for anxiety or some sort of disorder was also a nice take because she does take on so much, and tries so hard to help and be good and nice and perfect. All the stress. Archie was also great in the first season. A bit horny, but he means well, and he truly is an average American boy so his big trouble of choosing between music and football. He's a klutz and sometimes his plans go sideways but he means well, he's all for family and Riverdale and school spirit. None of this whole Red Hood/semi mafia/wrestling nonsense. I actually really liked their take on Veronica, she still a bit materialistic and thinks she can depend on her wealth to get her out of trouble but I do like their take on trying to be enterneauripal and working to act less high class society girl as she was used to.

Jughead, I'm conflicted with. Because he's good I guess as a brooding, investigative journalist he's good. It fits the setting of the show. But I do have a soft spot for him as the sane man to Archie. Going about his business, surprisingly philosophical. And you can't forget the most important attribute to him. His love of food! I miss that. Like the one scene in season 1, I forget what exactly but basically he ordered burgers and when Cole Sprouse just protectively held the burger to him...such a nice touch. That sort of guy I can see as a DCOM. The genius ditz I guess it's called. But he's not dumb. He just prefers napping to being awake.

Now the others...omg.I have a bone to pick when it comes to the other characters in Riverdale. Josie and the Pussycats-- they are such lively musicians who solve crimes, sometimes in space. ABsolutely wasted here. Melody barely had any lines. And they didn't have Alex or Alexandra Cabot which was such a shame. I know, I know they're in the new Katy Keene show but having them be step-siblings who used to date is wrong and weird and bad and no! Stop having the twins in these shows with vaguly incesteous feelings. It's weird!

Kevin Keller, all his storylines revolve around his bfs or lack of bfs or how much he wants a bf. The Kevin of Archie comics was so much more well-rounded. He was head of ROTC, he was class president, he ran marathons, he was Veronica's bff, he was a reporter. He had an appetite to match Jughead's. He even had a brief crush on Jughead! He was so much better than this sham. He was confident in who he was and did his best to help others feel good about themselves too because he knows not everyone is lucky to come out as LGTBQ in a supportive environment.

Reggie. I think not giving him enough of an arc in season 1 really backfired because if he appears, it's only as Veronica's arm candy. Which is a shame because he is a good contrast to Archie. A bit richer yet a cheapskate. Thinks he's a casanova, loves being the class prankster. A modern day politician with his sweet words when all he cares about himself. Basically like

Yet he has his hidden depths with his neglectful workaholic parents and jealousy of Archie's popularity. Cheryl. Omg Cheryl. They have ruined you here. I'm sorry, I do NOT find any of her lines iconic. It's like she swallowed urban dictionary and a gothic novel and came out all jumbled in a google translate. She may be abused but the way she still treats others like shit and gaslights her gf and makes everything about her is just...ugh!!! OMg, comics Cheryl is actually fun and iconic. She's as rich and pretty as Veronica and unafraid to use it. She wants to be a star like a modern day influencer. She's a red-haired Sharpay Evans basically.

Also Jason, her twin whom they sadly killed off. He was also fun like a meaner, snobbier version of Reggie. But with a huge crush on Betty which I think could have been used to milk such drama.

Polly also got hit badly. She was a good older sister. She was a reporter, and inspired Betty's enviormental-feminist activities. A sane person. Not a cult worshipping cuckoo. Toni Topaz, ah she was so good in season 2 and then they made her Cheryl's arm candy. Alas. I liked her as a friend to Jughead. In the comics, she was his equal in food contests. That's no small feat. She was cool, and joined Betty's band and... she was her own person. Remember when Toni used to be a photographer for the South Side paper. Yeah. Basically Toni as a 3d character with personality. Please return.

Dilton. Oh Dilton. Once the smartest person in the Archie universe and they turned you into a survival freak to get killed by the gargoyle king. Or whomever. I just remember he got killed somehow. Honestly, they should have stuck to smart Dilton. They need a smart scientist there, cuz no one is using their brains in Riverdale.

Chuck. They have done you SUCH A DISSERVICE! So so bad. Chuck was a good person! He was a cartoonist, and a basketball player and Archie's friend. (Yeah, that's right Archie has friends in the comics. Even though Riverdale makes some effort to show Archie and Jug's bond, they're mainly consorting with their gfs. In the comics, they had guy nights. Reggie, Chuck, Kevin, Dilton, Moose. Come on show. Friendships are just as important.) And what did they do, make him a lying scumbag, turn him good and then have him arrested because of what Cheryl did! No, no no. Bad writers. Just no. Ethel Muggs. You have also been wronged in season 3. Making her a crazy freak. Ethel in season 1 was nice. Ethel in the comics is nice. Plain but with a good heart even though she had a slightly obsessive crush on Jughead. Here, making her cult worshipper.... smdh. Okay at this point I know I sound like a bitter, bitter person complaining how it'S nOt liKE tHe cOmICs. But hey, I admit season 1 was good even if they changed the characters a bit. It’s just that I watched Riverdale because of the property it derived from. Because of the comics. At the least I expected some faithfulness to the characters. Not make them all so inconsistent and crazy.

It's just the writing is so inconsistent! The plots hop around and so do their moods. Bughead and Choni broke up for one episode and then they got right back together. Even though they had VALID reasons to break up. Nope. That made fans mad. So they had to get back together. Ugh. And Archie got attacked by a bear and was so traumatized that he broke up with Veronica because "he's changed" for like two episodes before forgetting about it and going back to Veronica. Oh which brings me to the ridiculous "love triangle" of Archie/Reggie/Veronica where she couldn't choose. Please, Archie and Veronica were reuniting and planning to go run away for a weekend together. Reggie was completely forgotten until he walked in on them. And Veronica couldn't decide because she loves them both? No, she didn't. She may have felt bad to tell Reggie but it's not because she loved him. Forgetting a guy so quickly...yeah great proof of love. Horniness maybe. But her indecisiveness makes her look bad. Don’t tease a will they, won’t they when the answer is so obvious. If you're going to do something like that, you should have there be something called CONSEQUENCES! They can get back together but at least wait. Wait 8 episodes at least so they can have character development. But who am I kidding. Character development is not the goal of this show. The character's just move because the writer's want them too not because it fits their personalities. Such as Archie's grieved reaction for baby Teeth in season 3.

Not only do I have no idea when (the ridiculously named) Baby Teeth appeared, much less why Archie or I should care about his death. But sometimes the show juggles too much. Too many characters. Too many plots. It's all so ugh!!! So my final thought on this is... Riverdale should have been a disney channel sitcom. Archie comics are about family friendly entertainment and sometimes imparted lessons... well so does Disney. I get the appeal of having Riverdale reach a new teen generation, but from what I can see the only big thing Riverdale on CW is that it allows alcohol and gartituous sex scenes.

Which is another small gripe of mine. I can handle sex scenes (hello Magic Mike XXL) but so many at such inappropriate moments too It's like that scene in an action movie where they suddenly kiss when they should be running for their lives. No teen is that horny all the time. Plus there's always less is more. If one kisses so much it loses the meaning. If you think your shirtless Archie is going to distract me from lack of plot haha. No. Plot and consistency still sucks and shirtless Archie does not make it better.

But Riverdale as a Disney show can work. After all the comic stories are a bit formulaic. It's all high school hijinks. And all the characters fit an archetype. Archie, the protagonist. Veronica, the fashionista. Betty, the reporter. Jughead, the slacker. Reggie, the class clown/bad friend. Cheryl, the Sharpay, Kevin, the sane one. And if people want a season long story arc with dramatics, Disney can actually handle it too. After all they had the mysterious "threat' lurking in the background of My babysitter's a vampire season 2. Or the Juliet and Mason saga of Wizards of Waverly Place. And if people want adult situations, look on to Jessie. Rewatching an episode now, there were so many adult jokes and references that flew over my head so they could sneak those in. Heck, Disney channel is infamous for all the innuendos they manage. And they handle consistency. Cody and Bailey broke up in Suite life on deck, they actually stayed broken up for a good half season. Gabe matured from a prankster tween to teen in love in Good Luck Charlie. Actions have consequences, characters grow. Storytelling 101

And the best part is they don't even have to think too hard for the plots of the week. They literally can build on stories from the comics. All 80 years of it. And I have put some examples right here from my own Archie comics. Like Veronica literally being the fashion police.

Veronica and Cheryl teaming up + rolling around in their money.

Cheryl changing the Cherry Blossom Festival to the Cheryl Blossom Festival

Archie doing his classic Valentine's Day mix up

Veronica and Betty buy Cheryl’s maid service when her father forces her to get a job.

Jughead and Trula (Jughead's nemesis & psychoanalyst in training) get amnesia and become friends.

A boy dares to change Veronica

Jughead falls in love with the lunch-lady

Betty and Veronica pretending to be distressed damsels to get Archie's attention (it backfires)

Toni and Jughead foil each other in a food eating contest.

Betty's cast causes more pain to other students

Reggie dates Cheryl (for real)

Reggie helps Kevin dress for the dance and his mystery date

Riverdale Shore.

Cabot vs Lodge

I think all this pretty much illustrates my point. Archie comics equals Disney sitcom all by itself.

#Anti Riverdale #my opinions #random musings #salty rant #archie comics

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obsidiancreates · 3 years

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We've been watching Modern Family a lot lately and I have. My fair share of issues with the show. I like it a lot, some really great bits, but it has. Problems.

But my biggest thing is just how much I fucking hate Claire oh my god she is Epitome Of Karen she's so manipulative and mean to all of her kids she's horrible to Phil she treats every other character like they're the stupidest person alive but she is always wrong like oh my god she is insufferable

Best characters are Gloria and Phil hands down and also the cute French Bulldog, Stella.

I hate how way way early in the show they LITERALLY ESTABLISHED THAT PHIL AND LUKE FOR SURE BOTH HAVE ADHD and then just!!! Ignored it forever and made jokes about how they're both so stupid and!!! Most of it was just stuff that aligned with ADHD symptoms!!! They joke about Luke needing Adderall or else he won't pass school but never follow up and it's like BITCH YEAH HE NEEDS ADDERALL OH MY GOD HE'S SHOWN TO BE SMART IN LOTS OF AREAS HE LITERALLY JUST HAS ADHD BUT THE SHOW JUST MAKES HIM OUT TO BE DUMB AS A BAG OF ROCKS AND I HATE IT AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON PHIL AND HIS ADHD!

The show likes to pretend it's super progressive but. It is often not. They do that thing where Gloria says "In MY COUNTRY-!" and then make up something horrible and over-the-top to just like. Mock other cultures. Too many Asian jokes from Mitch and Cam about Lily, like Bitch that's your daughter stop being racist at her. Also there was an episode that lowkey had "Stupid snowflakes" attitude vibes in one of the later seasons.

Jay has some nice moments but MAN they never let him grow, do they? He gets like, tiny scoots. But he never stops being cruel to HIS OWN WIFE AND STEPSON about their heritage, never stops making homophobic jokes at Mitchell, never is allowed to actually learn any lessons. Which sucks, because the nice moments are very nice and I could see a lot of potential for a good storyline about opening one's mind and evolving your perspectives and thinking even in old age.

Apparently Haley and Andy only broke up because the guy who played Andy got other deals and needed to leave the show my girl was ROBBED. I don't hate Dylan and I like the concept of highschool sweethearts breaking up, seeing other people and having separate experiences and growing and learning and then coming back together years later as more well-rounded people. I adore that concept, in fact. But I don't think they pulled it off as well as they could have, honestly.

I wish Claire had learned some harsh lessons. She sucks. She reminds me a lot of people I've had to deal with in my own life which for sure contributes to my hatred of her. I wish she got yelled at more often, she's just awful and mean and cruel.

I wish Lily was given. Stories. My brother pointed out the other day that Lily is kind of the only character who never gets her own Full Storyline, she's only used as a sort of... Addition to another story. Never the focus. Oftentimes I relate to her the most in the later seasons so I wish they would have taken advantage of her being old enough to have her own storylines and given us something Lily Focused.

Okay I've ranted too much

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nightcoremoon · 3 years

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so for the first time I saw batman: the killing joke.

...

it was okay I guess. but massively overrated. I expected some fucking masterpiece of cinema but instead it was just two unrelated short films that were more style and flash than substance.

so first off, barbara's storyline was mediocre. franz wasn't a compelling villain; just a creep, and a trust fund brat. oh wow he's a mafia kid who stole his family's fortune by hacking. if it was the falcone family I'd have cared more but it wasn't so it's just some faceless deathfodder rando. who gives a shit. the whole situation was just a vehicle to shove batman's dick into babs. which kinda fucks over bruce's character here and judging by the timeline kinda makes him a bit of a groomer, yikes. bruce and gordon have known each other since bruce was a young boy and we know that bruce is way older than babs so yeah bruce totally knew her from birth until present day, he literally utilized an active power dynamic to police her crimefighting activities, and he should have fucking known better and stopped her when she kissed him because it would (and did) compromise their professional dynamic, but hey, batdick. and at least barbara recognized that she was behaving emotionally rather than logically when it came to bruce and paris and took the high road out. that would be a serviceable standalone episode to write her on a bus in a serialization but THIS IS A MOVIE. so for a waste of an already short runtime it's like having an appetizer before your meal but instead of something like a crab cake before stuffed flounder, you get greasy onion petals that are more fried batter than onion before getting a well done cheeseburger that's just a glorified hockey puck on a sponge with a kraft single on top. the animation and vocal delivery were excellent of course, not gonna disparage that aspect, so it was well made, but the writing was just not very good. a polished turd. quantic dream must have developed it then because it feels like I watched a david cage production.

so in a 78 minute movie, five of which were the credits, we had a half hour Disney/Pixar short except those bring joy and this brought boring. also there were a lot of shots of her ass tits and underwear that were obnoxiously male-gazey and there was a token gay for the sole purpose of dangling a carrot on a stick for the queers. look kids, warner brothers and dc comics cares about the lgbts! give us money! a waste of time before the real reason why anyone came to see the movie that literally only exists to pad out the runtime to make it a feature length (even though paying a full ticket would've been a total ripoff because, again, IT WAS ONLY 78. even 9 was 81 minutes long and that had an amazing storyline so I forgave it, but 78 minutes? ugh.

also, GOTHAM RAGE??? CRINGE. SO CRINGE.

alright now for the joker segment.

*ahem*

what the fuck? that sucked! *throws tomato*

mark hamill and the joker's lines and the art and the cinematography and the choreography was all good and the plot was cohesive. I get it.

but holy shit was the writing weak as fuck.

okay so some rando breaks the J-ster out of Arkham (already unlikely but ugh whatever), he didn't turn a trick or recruit or anything, he just went to purchase a carnival. or, steal one. but wait, he DID recruit, but he went to get all of the stereotypical Circus Freak™ stereotypes. little people, fat lady, bearded lady, wolf man, strongman, diaper man (wait, what?), and the two headed woman. I guess if you don't really think about why all of them were super readily available in the outskirts between arkham and gotham [i just realized they both end with -am] then it makes enough sense. and then literally right after that HE RECRUITS SOME GUYS TO HELP HIM KIDNAP GORDON. and then strips and photographs barbara. um. ew. you can tell the writer and director were men. Alan Moore is constantly molesting women in his comics and this one trick pony should be put down already. but whatever. the plot is weak and it only gets saved by the flashback sequences.

oh.

oh no.

they're not that great.

he's a failed unfunny comedian who just wants some money to move his wife to a better house so he turns to thievery with the mob. OR YOU COULD JUST STOP GOING TO THE BAR AND BLOWING IT ALL ON BOOZE. I mean the cops knew where to find him after all so clearly he's a repeat customer (or moore is a bad plot writer who relies on convenience and shut the fuck up and don't critically analyze it). alright so he gets wrapped up in the mob to perform a heist on a playing card factory. GET IT, BECAUSE HE'S THE JOKER??? and he uses the moniker of the red hood to retain his anonymity. I expected the mobsters to be working for francisco but no the paris storyline was only cooked up screenplay for passing the runtime so why would they do something clever and interesting and make the film cohesive? that'd be really stupid to make the movie feel more like one movie and not two short films. at least when grindhouse & planet terror did it they advertised themselves as an anthology film. whatever. he falls in the vat of acid which melts the red hood to his face and I gotta say that's actually a pretty good idea to get his face white and his hair green and his lips red. I like that part. oh wait I forgot about the most important part! his wife gets shoved in the refrigerator. OH WOW THAT'S JUST SO COMPELLING AND ORIGINAL, TOTALLY NOT SOMETHING THAT ALREADY HAPPENED TO GREEN LANTERN. TWICE. although she wasn't literally shoved into a literal refrigerator like alex was. rip in frozen pieces you absolute legend of a trope namer. alright, so... so the joker is sad because his wife died. you know, the wife we saw for two minutes and knew the moment we saw her drenched in sepia she was gonna die. and she died offscreen. kyle's gf died and he was fine. gordon's wife died and he was fine. batman's parents both died and he was fine. oh boo hoo someone I love died! fuck off. I am so goddamn sick of people trying to justify their evil with "I was sad once". it's a stupid trope and it's not compelling. the only valid version is doctor doofenshmirtz' evil(er) version in the PF movie because it's hilarious that it's because of a toy train because that's the emotional depth that fridgewomen is treated with in all of these storylines. but at least batman said so. oh yeah, I almost totally forgot, batman's in this movie.

batman punches people and nonlethally takes them out. by suffocating them and letting them get stabbed and throwing them into pits of spikes and HEY WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND! okay let's just ignore that bit and hope that the little people squeezed between the gaps in the spikes and the strongman could breathe in the face mask and the two headed women had KO gas and the fat lady was fat enough that the knives only stabbed her cellulite. it wouldn't be the biggest reach one would have to make in watching this fucking disaster of a plot mess.

now I did like that it was actually batman, and by that I mean he gave a shit about the insane because he recognizes that mental illness is not a cause of dangerous or criminal behavior, just a potential exacerbating factor if it wasn't treated. yeah he brutalized mobsters and crime lords but they were mostly in self defense while gathering intel. he politely asked sal maroni and the sex workers for information and they gave it to him without violence- he manhandled maroni but only after he reached into his pocket for a cigar which could've been a gun. also batman says sex work should be decriminalized if only by not ratting them out to the cops. he was a genuinely good person in the second half of the movie. too bad it was ruined by the shitty first half that made him a borderline groomer.

joker's song was... bad. mark hamill performed his ass off but the song wasn't that good. it just tried to be willy wonka if he was a voyeuristic monster. oh yeah have the only girl character be paralyzed stripped and photographed only to give her father ManPain™. again... the fuck? joker and batman were both gross but, again. male writers. if it was a one-off I could drop a thermian argument because, alright one and done makes sense, especially 1988 standards. but it saturated and soured the entire goddamn movie because of abhorrent pacing decisions. so you're goddamn right I'm gonna bring it up twice! joker was a creep, his plan was dumb, nolan and burton and lord/miller and even ayer had better motivations. YES I AM SAYING THAT JARED LETO'S JOKER HAD BETTER WRITING THAN MARK HAMILL'S JOKER. not nearly to the level of ledger nicholson or galifanakis but hamill didn't have a lot to work with here and I maintain that his performance was amazing; honestly I like his the best out of all of them but just... not here. but I think I can cut some slack to firelord ozai and luke skywalker even if he just phoned it in here which he didn't. writing was just weak. and that's all there is to it. don't anon me and threaten to remove my bones ok?

alright so batman and joker fought and joker got the upper hand and was gonna kill him but it was a prop gun. haha. they had a heart to heart and batman tells joker that he wants to help him get better, even after joker killed robin and molested barbara and traumatized gordon and did countless other travesties, he still said he would help. but joker said no, and told a joke that was good enough to make batman laugh. and then the credits rolled.

...

what a completely pointless and empty ending. oh it's deep and meaningful and poignant? ok sure, I guess, movie, but you didn't earn that. shyamalan did the same thing a dozen times. that doesn't make him any less of a shit writer.

I can understand the concept of batman laughing at joker's joke, humanizing him.

I get it. I see what they tried to do. I respect it.

but this movie was massively overhyped and overrated and I expected it to be so much better than it was. but overall to me it was just another batman cartoon to throw on top of the pile. maybe it was influential to graphic novels. maybe it shaped batman into what he is today. it published right as tim burton's movie and I can respect its place in the pantheon of comic history. but sometimes things that are classic...

aren't that great.

citizen kane, casablanca, the maltese falcon, the treasure of the sierra madre, gone with the wind, singing in the rain, all of them are classic and legendary pieces of art. but they're just not that good, interesting, appealing, watchable, or FUN. they were good at the time- I mean come on we all know them today- but on going back you'd have to really appreciate the finer details to still love the movies today. and this belongs there, in the vault, to be appreciated from afar. influential if dated.

but god am I still disappointed nonetheless.

TL;DR

it was just okay. had some good ideas, had some really bad ideas, had some ugly stuff. overall mediocre. first half 5/10, second half 7/10, overall 6/10.

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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The Loud House Reviews: The Boss Maybe/ Family Bonding

Loud House weekly coverage continues as Leni is pushed into the deep end of responsiblity and taking over Lori’s old role of babysitter while her parents are gone and promptly drowns in a sea of comedy clubs, human body parts both on screen and in the fridge, old men in holes and indoor beach volley ball.

First things first: Last week I forgot to mention Rusty’s mustache freezing off as god, wether it be the judeo-christian god, Odin, that prick Zeus, the flying spagehtti monster or one of many other gods out there. Perhaps all of them did it at once out of hatred for the little weiner. Maybe one of them finally answered my prayers which in that case, that was nice and all but there are far worse things going on i’d prefer you took care of. Also the “stuff I couldn’t fathom” turned out to be just more loudcest, because of course it did. Loudcest is like David Spade, you think it’s finally gone or isn’t doing as much but then it comes around and makes the wrong missy and you waste 90 minutes of your life thinking i’td be so bad it’s good when it’s really just boring and a waste of it’s main actress talent. I lost track of that metaphor, but Loudcest is like david spade in that people like it for reasons I can’t fathom and it hasn’t quietly faded into the background for reasons I can’t fathom, though at least david spade was funny once. So maybe Loudcest isn’t like david spade. or maybe i’ve been taking too long with this bit.

But whlie last week was a bit wonky it also had a lot to setup.. but now it’s time to see what the show does with all the setup over, and a lot of new possiblities ahead. PItter Patter!

The Boss Maybe Ah now this is exactly what I was hoping for this season. New situations brought about by the year-up and all the changes it brought, with the same old heart and humor and character progression that drew me back into the show. This is the kind of episode i love and have talked about in the past and dosen’t fall into any of the shows usual pitfalls in the process. Just great. I could end it there but I haven’t shut up before why do it now. So this episode focuses on Leni who I talked about a bit last week and easily had the best plot and in general tends to have good episodes, both before and after the show became an ensemble piece, and even in episodes without her tends to slide in just fine. She’s always a nice breath of fresh air when she shows up.

I think that’s due to a number of things. For one it’s how sweet a person she is: She’s genuinely nice, kind and well meaning. While she is dumb as a box of rocks that resemble Pauly Shore, what I like is her stupidity isn’t malicious, or overused for misery. She causes comical injuries from time to time with it but she’s quick to apologize iff she realises it and usualyly has no ill will to anybody unless provoked or fighting Lori over a dress despite them wearing the same clothes all the time. I know standard animation thing but it’s always weird to me when shows with a stock outfit for a character have a fashionista, and prefer when shows have stylish characters actually change outfits like Kim Possible did with it’s title character, Xiaolin Showdown did with Kimiko and of all things LIttlest Petshop did with Blythe. Granted Blythe is a nothing of a character but still, credit where it’s due. But I do get this is also a nick show and they givet hem the budget of 50 cents and a network memo that says “BEG US FOR MORE MONEY” written in blood, so fair enough.

That aside she’s just plesant to watch. The other factor is Liliana Mumy. If you haven’t heard of her , she’s a vetran voice actress whose been doing this on and off since she was a kid, voicing Panini on chowder as a child and later going on to voice Beth in bravest warriors among other roles. Why she only does work so ocasionaly I have no idea but when she does she’s great. She’s also the son of fellow child actor BIll Mumy, aka the guy who as a kid played Anthony Fremont from the Twilight Zone classic “It’s A Good Life”, which if you haven’t seen it is about a small child who has the power of a god and thus can banish people who are “bad”, i.e. disobey him and thus rules over a small town as a creepy and cruel despot. Oh and he can read minds so if you dare to have a thought he dosen’t like your getting banished, with no telling what that means or where anyone disappeared goes. It’s good stuff. Highly recommend it, Mumy is absolutley terrifing and a brilliant actor even at that age and I wish he’d done more as an adult. I also bring it up because Lily played his daughter when they did a sequel episode during the UPN version of the show, set decades later and showing just what the little terror was like grown up... as well as what happens when his DAUGHTER gets the power. It was also really good and worth a watch after the first one. Good stuff.

TLDR: Leni is one of my faviorites, so’s her voice actress, i’ve rambled enough about unrelated stuff at this point.

We open at the mall, where for Leni life begins after schol, that’s when we bend all the rules time to hang with all her friends in the place where she belongs!

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I mean technically she’s 17 now, but she was 16 when she started this job and none of them were 16 by the time the show ended so nyeh. This started in season 3 when the show started giving the girls not just their own stories but their own supporting casts., storylines, love intrests etc. Luna and Luaan got their romance plots with Sam and Benny, Lori got her college plot towards the end of the season, Lynn’s friends started showing up in her plots more, Luna’s mortuariy club went from assorted background friends of hers to a full fleged supporting crew, and of course Lincoln’s friend group started to become a recurring part of his plots away from his sisters.

For Leni, being one of the only three kids that could legally work at the time, another possible plot to dig into, and with Luna having way less incentive to get a 9-5 job with her music to work on and the fact we’ve seen her use said music to make money once in a blue moon, Leni was a good choice. It gave her something she was good at besides fashion, even if it’s fashion adjacent and gave us a new supporting cast for those stories: Her boss Mrs. Redinger, your standard “i’m tough by fair” type, and her new friends Fiona and Miguel, two fellow fashion savy teens played by actors i’d never heard of but who do a damn good job and play off her well, with both being a bit sarcastic but Fiona being a bit more mopey and deadpan and Miguel being a possibly but defintely gay teen. Both play off her well by being more down to earth and more wiling to be negative, but still enjoyable enough to be around you can buy them being friends with Leni and their a stellar addition to the cast. I wish, much like we’ve gotten with Liam lately, we could see more of them outside leni stories. Their a treat.

But I really like Leni’s work there. Besides the cast it puts Leni in a role of responsiblity she excels at. My only real problem is her boyfriend, maybe I dunno, Chaz, one of the ONLY love intrests from l is for love to get mentioned again and one of the more intresting ones, never shows up despite also working at hte mall and the story potetial of them working for rival stores or the same store. I mean I can’t blame them for not throwing another love intrest on the pile when they had two ongoing romance plots, but now both Luna and Luann are on steady ground with their steadies, it’s time to pull that trigger, get off hte ground and eat that horse. Also let LIncoln have one again will ya? It dosen’t have to be stella but Girl Jordan is right there, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again.. where is she. And if not her just make one you’ve proven to actually be really good at it.

Where was I? Ah yes the mall. Leni is doing great at her job, suggesting some gloves to scoots, who ceases being skeptical when a hunky younger man of 30 something compliments her on them them chases off after him. If you don’t remember who scoots was that’s the old lady on a scooter who makes troulbe and appareltly can still get it. Good for her. Granted this is coming from someone who ships eda and stan pines still even though it’s now revealed she’s 30 but... frankly I don’t think age is a concern with her and stan can make this joke, so it evens out.

I mean he would right? I”m getting off topic even more than usual, point is Leni is doing great and her boss takes her to the break room for cake room... it’s just the one cake but can you imagine a cake room? that’s the life. Just a fridgerated room full of cake.

Turns out she’s EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. And she didn’t have to chain squidward to an ancient battle ship to get it or anything. After some confusion, Fiona has to clarify it’s NOT her birthday because of course she does, Leni is proud. Full of cake and pride she tells her mom whose decided to reward her good job at work.. by dumping a bunch of respnosiblity on her. I kid. Rita is being somewhat resonable here. She asks Leni to take over Lori’s old role of babysitting/making sure the other 10, now 9 kids don’t burn the house down... no really she actually specifies that when leaving in the next scene. Which.. fair enough.. you have 11 kids, all likely to plug in a lot of stuff especially Luna and Lisa, said Lisa is a mad scientest who ends up nearly being the one to do it this time, Lynn has no common sense, and the younger ones who aren’t mad scientst are still reckless and vain and combattive respectivley so the odds of a house fire nearly breaking out on any given night are 1:1. But Leni in a show of self doubt that’s rare for her is scared (Though her revealing that by answering a question of how she’d feel about about babysitting the kids with “Scared” was fucking gold. I swear Lily’s deliveries are always so great. ), and while Rita assures her she’s not sure. But as I said, she is being resonable: While Leni’s not the brightest she’s kind, she’s been shown even before her recent major award she’s responsible, she’s babysat for other people’s kids, and she’s kind. I mean they COULD put Luna or Luaan in charge but while when I first read the preview blurb for this episode I was cuirous why they didn’t think of that or thought they would, this episode does a good job presenting WHY they’d do it, while other episodes fill in the gaps: Luna is a bit reckless and Luaan can get caught up in her bidness and as we know once a week goes through the green door and comes out a gamma monster fuled by the sound of her own laughter, a horrible mixture of the joker and madman.. the leader’s insane brother. I’m a huge nerd, you all know this. Leni is the right choice.

Despite her nerves Leni has little choice but to take it on and Mr. Loud proudly sees her out with ye olde english as he and Rita, with lily in a cute little knight’s helmet in tow, are going to a renisance fair to cater, with Lynn Sr needing the backup. And while you may say “what about his staff”.. their either going with and he just needs an extra pair of hands since it’ll be nuts, or some of them are staying behind to man Lynn’s Table while he’s out on his catering gig. I mean the man has plenty of time for his kids, he’s not at the restraunt 24 hours a day. Someone else has to run it when he’s gone. I asked internally why they didn’t just take them along.. then reminded myself that taking all 11 kids to the faire at once, without anyone to watch them and likely having to call in favors when jsuta s likely, Lynn Sr and Rita can take them all another day with presumibly free passes as part of the catering job as that sounds like the kinda thing he’d do. Also Senior’s into scarf’s now thanks to Leni, which I love. Looks good on him. Hank should give her a call. Ascots may be out but I think he could rock a scarf. I’ve had ventures on the brain. What follows is naturally Leni having several panic attacks as chaos naturally insues btu without Lori’s lifetime of experince dealing with it. IT’s a nice dynamic: Leni, as we’ve established, has always been sort of Lori’s sidekick, her best friend, her amigo. Sure they fight, siblings do that, but they’ll always be there for each other when it counts. SHe’s never really had to THINK without her or be without her, so throwing her into the deep end of taking care of the kids really leaves her shook. It’s a HARD job, it’s probably why the louds don’t bring in babysitters often: there are 11 kids to look after, 10 now and only 9 tonight but still a LOT of them and most of htem pretty high maintince. It was just easier with Lori because she grew up knowing each of them, knowing each of their weaknesses and putting the fear of her righteous wrath into them. They’ve spent their whole lives looking up to her, literally and figuratvely, as their big sister and respecting her as the biggest authority in the house that’s nto her parents, sometimes bigger. Those aren’t just big shoes to fill , their Galactus size and that combined with her big sister worship leaves Leni understandably scared, lost and frequently paralized with anxiety this episode. No really multiple times she just freezes and one times she screams. As someone with Anxiety disorder I related to this.. sometimes you either just break down or you just FREEZE from the stress and everything hitting you at once and have no idea how to progress while people are still barking at you to do something. It’s a lot but it was a nice touch that really added to her sympathy. And her anxiety is also understandable when she’s being hit with 80 problems at once, which i’ll tackle all at once here rather than in order as this episode has a really frentic and good pace: while it follows the formula of “Leni runs into a problem, Leni freezes, then Leni gets help from Lori twice hten mr.grouse, more on that in am inute”, the quick pace and great jokes help keep things from feeling too repetivie.

Anyways the chaos: Just from the start Lucy puts a possibly human liver in the fridge, Lana eats all the cookies then gets skunked by her pet skun, and Lola and Lynn get into a fight over 5 bucks Lynn found, and since Leni can’t just let one kill the other as nature intended she has to fix all this.. mostly by removing the smell with tomato juice and scaring off the skunk and cutting the dolar bill in half. Money dosen’t work that way as both sisters point out but frankly it’s Lola and Lynn, I don’t care who they feel.

Meanwhile two of my other faviorties get into a tiff over their room: Luaan turns it into a comedy club and kicks luna out, with Scoots and her new man returning. Again, get it girl, get it, and Leni, under Lori’s advice, pretneding to be a fire marshall.. only for Luna towarsd the end to turn it into her own rock club. Lisa creates a corossive super substance that burns a hole in the floor, Lana continues to grapple with the skunk and finally Lincoln and Clyde.. watch a scary movie despite Lucy’s warnings.. and Lucy does something else.. I think? It was a chaotic episode with a lot of set pieces so forgive me if I forgot one of them. Honestly she’s the most well behaved there.But yeah as per the cliche Lincoln and Clyde, after Leni gets the wifi fixed with Mr. Grouse’s help, they get super scared and freaked. Everyomne is freaking, the house is falling apart and Senior wants permission to wear a pinky ring via thought cloud.. which.. no man no. Scarves yes but no one looks good with a pinky ring. No one. And I say that as amporphous blob covered in hair, sweat and regrets.

As for how Leni deals with all this she leans on Lori, calling her twice, but at inportune times: during a golf game and at the library where said phone gets taken. Granted, I don’t get why she didn’t have it on silent, as I would in those situations, but then we wouldn’t have an excuse to include her and it feels necessary to show WHY Lori can’t just help all night or reassure her sister and with Lori gone the panic only intensifies. As I said she gets paralized with fear and later just outright screams.. which attracts an irate Mr Grouse, the next door neighbor who I need to watch more of’s episodes. Including 12 louds of leapin.. I know i’m way overdue on that. This december. Promise.

The old man who yells at Louds helps for a bit, helping get rid of a beach Lynn set up because she’s lynn, she has the consderation of a puppy, but eventually falls in a hole like most great heroes and most elderly people. I mean the ones up the street at the retierment home must fall in once a week. They get out of course because the assitant living mole lets them ride out as it digs into the walls. Or maybe that was just a hallucination. Eventually though the start at her job comes back as she calls the only people she has left for help: Fiona and Miguel, who are at the mall in chairs because of courser they are, and both are confused why she’s so helpless: She’s fantastic at work, she’s kind, confident and smart.. about certain things, she can do this. Besides helping her confidence with this really sweet moment they also give her a good tool for how to use said confdience from work: just treat her siblings as customers. It’s also a nice call back to how we’ve seen Leni learn way back in season 1 during “Driving Miss Hazy” we’ve seen that she can have troulble grasping things, but when you put it in terms she understands, like fashion, or shopping, or in this case helping customers with their issues, she snaps into it. She learns at her own pace in her own way, it’s why I think sh’es neurotypical, and possibly ont he spectrum like yours truly: while her stupidity isn’t part of that the unqiue way she processes things has me supscious. either way it works.

So with a new strategy Leni.. literally adresses them like shoppers, which is comedy gold. However it’s a valid strategy: besides the visualation part by getting them to form a line, instead of trying to handle 2 or 3 problems at once she simply handles them one at a time: She scares the skunk off again, shuts down both competing clubs in the older kids room, uses water to take out lisa’s universal solvant, gives Lola and Lynn 5 bucks instead of just cutting a ten in half this time, and in the sweetest moment of the episode, reads Clyde and Lincoln a childrens book to clam them down. Sure it’s a bit funny but their genuine relief and all threes adorable expressions really melt the heart.

Leni finally wins, just as her parents get home and congradulate her, Rita’s faith not misplaced. While Rita probably knew it’d be an adjustment, and frankly should’ve prepped her sooner, she knows her daughter and knows waht sh’es caapable of. Also Senior brought home meet and gives leni a turkey leg who gives it to the old man who now lives in a hole inside their house. That’s his home now. Mr Grouse is just there now. Or I wish he was. But I guess you can’t always get what you want epsecially if it’s an old man living in a hole in the loud’s living room. Someday. Final thoughts for The Boss Maybe: As you could easily tell I loved this one. Funny with a hell of an emotional core, and with great pacing espeially for a loud house episode, this was a joy to watch and easily one of the best episodes the show has done. Just a funny, breezy watch with a lot of subtext, intetional or not, regarding what we’ve seen of Leni and honestly i’m going to go with intetional. It felt really rooted in who Leni is, her relationship with lori, and her work without hitting you over the head with it. It just all flowed really well and made for a hard one to top for the season this early. I’m impressed and it gives me hope for the rest of the season.

Family Bonding

This one was.. okay. As i’ve learned the hard way from doing Amphibia when an episodes just okay it’s best to breeze through it.. but I can give it this. While it’s mostly a standard loud house episode the ending.. wasn’t predictable. That’s for sure. I mean.. it left me with only one thought really...

But i’m getting ahead of myself. The episode’s plot is standard for the most part: Lincoln’s obessed with a new spy comic book about a james bond expy.. okay so that’s what Sterling Archer did besides physical therapy for the three months between his waking up and Season 11. Anyways they soon get more exciting news from Lynn. New Neighbors! Before Rita can stop them, the rest of her family tramples over her and goes to make their aqunatince and of course be a bit overbaring with it before Rita rushes in with a spray bottle to spray them like a bad dog because frankly when your dealing with 11 people most of whom are really impuslive, sometimes dog training just works. You try raising eleven kids and see how long before your brain breaks. Anyways after introductions and the mom turning down cherry pie, you monsters, lincoln sees strange flashing lights and a device and is convinced something is up and unable to convince his family and on a spy kick, recurits clyde. Now why he dosen’t call on Stella and Zach I dunno. And yes I said Zach and not my boy Liam. I have my reasons: Stella, besides being a faviorite of mine, is a tech whiz as shown in one of the comics and in the cookie episode, and Liam is already a paranoid conspiracy nut and as we’ve seen with Dale Gribble, they can be suprisingly useful. I mean Dale is not the best on common sense but he knows goverment bilaws in and out, is skilled with a gun or a bag of pocket sand, and has danny trejo’s octavio, whose basically danny but as hired muscle instead of a master actor, on speed dial. I mean we don’t know if Zach dosen’t have a danny trejo on speed dial or not. We never asked. As for the other two while I love LIam, spying just dosen’t seem to be in his sizeable skill set and Rusty.. well rusty’s about as subtle as a man covered in screeching cats he glued to himself blowing an airhorn, while screaming the script to a micheal bay movie while doing the explosion noises himself.. which Rusty has probbbly done. The real thing i’m getting at is I don’t get why, outside of Clyde and LIam, the writers think when LIncoln has an epiosde it either just needs ot be ClyncolnMcCloud or the ENTIRE group, when one or two would do the trick. YOu CAN seperate them out. People do hang out with diffrent friends at diffrent times. I know the show’s grasp on reality is tenous at best, we got to that last week with the whole one teacher for core classes thing with schooled and this week.. again we’ll get to it in a second, but friends DO hang out seperate. We saw each member of the Lincrew, minus stella because she didn’t exist yet, doing their own thing in Racing Hearts. It’s not that complicated. It’s hard to flesht hem out when their used as one solid unit and not unresonable to just use one or two. it’s a lesson I hope the show learns eventually and hope it’s sister show learns too.

But yeah our dynamic duo spend the episode as youd’ expect; unraveling conspriacies and stalking the new family, though there are some funny bits. Besides Rita squirting her family like a cat or a dog, we have flip getting half his face shaved by a survelince drone and okay maybe just those two things. not bad bits, but the general concept of them roleplaying into mischief.. has been done before. The show’s done the detective bit before and the spy trappings really don’t change that. And you CAN do a good spy takeoff episode, this one just sin’t it and feels like your standard LIncoln and Clyde messaround with tuxedos. Which to be fair are pretty awesome but still. It’s pretty flat. The climax though? I’ll give it this.. it’s pretty entertainngi if also 100% what exactly the fuck. So our heroes are naturally caught sneaking into the neighbors house and its eems they were wrong, etc etc, exactly what we expected the new kid will hang around.. at least we have a new character. Instead.. LIncoln accidently hits a knob and unveils a panel

So yeah... turns out the new family ARE spies, just for Peach Growers and plan to wipe out all cherries in royal woods. Yup.. look I know this universe is patently insane but even for loud house, even with all of lisa’s super science... even with the slapstick but this is just.. nuts. Like i’m fine with suspending my disbelif, this show is a goofy comedy, but this is a bit much. I LOVE it for being nuts but only in a “what on spagehtti monster’s green earth were you thinking”. I get swinging for the fences but Lincoln getting into a fight with a bunch of spies after playing spy, well beating them with slapsticks and stopping their plot to elmitie cherries..t his isn’t Kids Next Door. This just.. dosen’t work. Jeff Goldblum tell em why, my brains too broken to articulate this anymore

Yeah that. It’s just a weird climax and ends iwth LIncoln vetting the new neighbors.. which does it include girl jordon? Did they just write her out? If so why? Fans liked her, you can have more than one female character in Lincoln’s friend group. Zach is replacable. You can give me whatever the fuck this was, but not an intresting friend for him who has personality already. I get 50% chad but not your decision making. Gah.

Final Thoughts for .. this. one This one really didn’t work. Besides the ending just not fitting the series specific brand of ludicrous, I mentioned KND for a reason as it made this sort of plot work fine by having it’s whole unvierse be really fucking weird and specific, it’s mostly just okay. We’ve seen this before.. well okay I haven’t watched many of the Lincoln and Clyde messarounds, but the formula’s about the same. And that dosen’t work. For one you have a HUGE swath of new possiblities: A new school, Chandler coming back, new teachers and faculity, a new principal, and Lynn and LIncoln being in the same school, and you instead just.. retread the same crap. you have 4 of lincoln’s friends other than clyde to use but don’t let them in on the fun. And most agrivating to me you move new neighbors into the neighborhood while neglecting some of your old supporting cast and have them be villians of the week instead of adding someone NEW to the neighborhood. Give one of the other kids a new friend, or give lincoln a new friend to add to his group and replace liam, shake up the dynamic with him and clyde bya dding a third or, most obviously move one of his friends INTO the neighborhood, most obviously stella since you spent so much time building her up then have her addition affect Lincoln and Clyde. Sure we’ve had an episdoe of one of his friends getting in the way of them before, but this would be diffrent. This episode is just.. not great and was a waste of my time, espespcailly after following such a stellar episode. It’s probablyt he first genuinely bad episode i’ve covered on this blog. Now that probably won’t stand, i’ve seen genuiley worse but.. as a wise penguin once said.

One last note. That Young Dylan graphic is really obnoxiou and obtrusive. It’s the second most obnoxious thing i’ve seen on this network.

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I”m out for this week. If you want more check out my Amphibia reviews, as I just finished a new one today, my other loud house reviews in the newly minted nickelodeon tab or other stuff on my other tabs, send me an ask for reviews you’d like to see or pay me to review whatver you want for 5 bucks via direct message. And check this blog Monday for the return of weekly Ducktales coverage, and next weekend for the next episode of loud house, and throughotu the week for more reviews. Until we meet again, GO TEAM VENTURE!. Play us out Mary Kate Wiles. If nothing else this episode let me use this song.

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fank0ne · 5 years

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Let's get it started.

- CHICAGO MED:

Sexcel. Marcel is a prick but I still kinda love him..? I don't know, it's not my fault, leave me alone. For real though, I really like him as a doctor, he seems like he really knows what he's doing, and as a human being... nobody's perfect, right? LOL I don't even think he should be considered the cause of Chexton drama to be honest: maybe trying to get in April's pants wasn't the right move, but he's not the one in a relationship. There's only one person to blame.

Chexton. Ethan really did put a ring on it, uh?! And she said yes, too. Wow, I admire the audacity! Do I think the marriage is gonna occur? The fuck not, he is somehow gonna find out about the Sexcel kiss and call the engagement off. Happy endings? We don't know 'em.

April. Wow, she's really decided to not tell Ethan about the kiss with Crockett! Gross. As I said before, I hate liars... I could've understand if the kiss was like - little crossover - Renée and Kelly's at the end of season 5 (was it season 5? I'm dumb lol), but it seems like it was a big deal for April. She herself said, correct me if I'm wrong, that things could've quickly gotten out of control. Like, excuse me?!

Will and Nat. So are they still gonna let them fight and annoy the hell out of me? Is this a fucking curse or something? Oh my god. This time I'm not on anybody's side, the fight was dumb (not the topic itself, but the way the whole thing was managed) and could've easily been avoided: Will needed to do a more thorough check on that junkie mama and Natalie should've told him she was gonna contact CPS whether he liked it or not. You see how simple it is? Fuck, I hate them so much. (Nick/Will looked really good with that shirt in his last scene - his shoulders are very sexy).

Elsa. She's a baby, I wanna protect her. And she smiled, she so cute. And she's gay af - quick reminder, in case you think that shipping her with Will can even remotely be a good idea (jk, y'all know me, you do you).

Daniel. The scene of him singing for his CeCe at Molly's was truly heartbreaking to see. By the way, Oliver has a nice voice, our cast is multitalented! Dr. Charles has a history with depression, though, so I hope he's gonna take care of himself, a thing he seems determined to do, maybe with the help of Sharon - and Elsa too, they're starting to bond.

Maggie and Ben. They're cute, yeah, Ben is in remission and I'm happy for him. But I honestly don't really care about them as a couple to be honest... There's nothing wrong with them, I'm just not interested. Stop.

Quick question: can they change Dr. Marcel's name, please? I mean, when she confessed the whole thing to Maggie, April's voice was trembling, her eyes were watery, but I couldn't help but laugh at her: "I kissed Crockett" LMFAO, you kissed who?! Like, c'mon, what kind of garbage name is that? Gross. *almost throws up*

- CHICAGO FIRE:

Seager. She was ridiculously embarrassing. At first I thought she was gonna accept the fact that Severide is already taken (even though he didn't tell her explicitly from the beginning, so it's partly his fault too, kinda), but when she asked him out after seeing him and Stella clearly acting as a couple, I lost my cool. Bye, Felicia. I'm so glad Kelly told her he's not interested and, y'all, did you see how he looked at Stella and could tell the situation was making her uncomfortable? Wow, couple goals. I'm waiting for a proposal by the end of the season.

Pickles? Foster... I like her, I hate her, I don't know. She's too moody. The fight with Brett was honestly very childish and uncalled for and I'm glad Sylvie stood up for herself and put Emily in her place. Plus, she did it in such a well-mannered and polite way... she's a princess, what can I say. Stella speech about girls sticking up for each other... Yes! Just yes.

Blake. I'm not gonna censor myself: he likes pussy..? Yikes. You guys know I was already starting to ship him with Ritter, but the writers had to ruin it for me. It's ok, I guess. For the moment I'm not really interested in his relationship with that girl (maybe I'm still bitter LMFAO), even though she seems really cool.

Ritter. When are we gonna see his boyfriend?! Damn, those writers! Blake joined 51 just the other day and we already know every little thing about him, I ask to see just a bit of LGBTQ+ content and they act like they're dumb..? How about you show it properly instead of just mentioning it and act like your job is done, mh? I'm ready to fight, I don't care.

Whose tool? : Our tool = What team? : Wildcats! — SAME ENERGY.

Iconic lines: "I'm gay, I'm not blind" + "I know it's hard to imagine with your emails and Facebook and Myspace...," – Mouch, Myspace? In 2020? Ok Boomer (I had to, I'm not sorry)

- CHICAGO PD:

Well well. We've been robbed. We're not clowns, we're the whole circus. The episode wasn't bad at all, I liked it, but still, what the fuck was that?! We've been waiting for more than a month to see some really angsty, whumpy stuff, the episode was supposed to be Jay centered and what did we get? A lame murder case that somehow became interesting only when Kevin and his brother got involved.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad my baby Kev gets to get more screentime (it was about time!), but why giving him now and not the next episode? What's the logic in this?

The beginning wasn't even bad, the premises were good. It was all very serious and solemn and all that good stuff we like and then, boom!, they said fuck that, fuck Jay Halstead, fuck you clowns who thought we were gonna treat him with the respect he deserves. Man was literally about to die and then suddenly he's fine, he talks (Jesse was making the voice he uses to imitate Jason, I heard that!), he even jokes around... Like, make it make sense. I'm frustrated. I wanna say a whole lotta other things, but yeah, I hope you get my point.

The Upstead content was kind of a payoff but yeah, still better than nothing. And about that... that fucking phone, really? Hailey was about to confess her feelings, or at least say something really serious to Jay, but of course they were interrupted. As I said, we're clowns. And Jay was ready: my man was so ready to get out of the friendozone, I saw that smirk that slowly faded into a disappointed look. We'll get there, Jay, I probably want it more than you do LOL

Vanessa's gonna be the godmother of Upstesd children. She ships them so much, cutie. "It's hard because you love him" - "Of course I love him, he's my partner" Hailey, sis, stfu and stop lying.

Burzek. They're having a baby, I'm so happy, I'm gonna cry. The little Alvin Ruzek (Kev is gonna be their godfather, I don't make the rules) is gonna be the Intelligence unit mascotte. I'm so ready. Yo, we're having this baby, right? No funny business here, they already broke our hearts with Dawsey twice. Also, did you notice how Adam screamed Kim's name when he thought the million bullets might've hit her and the baby. OMG gheyret having a baby. Whew, I'm not crying, you are!

I admit I wasn't following the storyline at all, like I literally can't tell what was going on before Jordan, Kev's brother, got involved. I wanna see where they're going with this plot: it can potentially be a cool one, I'd actually like too see some drama around Kevin's character - and maybe him being supported by Vanessa, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I don't know, they either develop it properly or they better end it with 7.11

Y'all, the dude Darius was supposed to set up, the one who got killed by Jordan's girlfriend, is identical to Chris Brown, minus the ears. It's scary.

32 notes · View notes

nikatyler · 5 years

Photo

*gasp* a replies post! A long replies post! A long replies post where I overshare again! *o* Yeah I kinda missed doing these. I’m now at home, but won’t be for much longer. First, I’m going to meet some of my new classmates on Friday and I’ll spend the whole weekend with them! We’re going somewhere...well I don’t even know where that is, just that it’s in nature and I’ve never been there before! Thank gods we’re meeting at the main station in Prague, or else I wouldn’t get there myself. Then on Moday, I have to go to my uni, and then once more on Wednesday I think? And on Wednesday, I’ll have to wake up at 4 am. my LiFe Is SoOoOOOoO HaRd oH mY gOd. No, I’ll be fine.

And a month from now, I’ll be moving to my dorm. That’s some crazy stuff. I can’t believe it’s happening. Last week, my dad actually took me to Prague and we went to see where it is. The location reminds me a lot of my home, but I won’t tell you what exactly that is because no one needs to know that. Anyway, school starts in October. I’m actually looking forward to studying, but the “living alone in a big city with people I’ve never seen before” part is scary. D: I’ll give you updates.

Anyway, today was a weird day. First, I sat alone by the lake when these two guys came and talked to me (I didn’t mind that actually, they were kinda nice), then when I got up and said I had to go home, one of them complimented my legs...which would’ve been really nice but then he basically implied he’d go to bed with me...and like literally five minutes ago he said he had a girlfriend...basically men are scary. Then later, mum and I went grocery shopping and I saw my middle school crush with his girlfriend...and decided that his girlfriend is cute, way cuter than him actually...bisexual culture I guess, crushing on your middle school crush’s girlfriend lmao. Then we went to pay for our groceries and the cashier...was my childhood friend who also happened to be my first crush and also my last crush and these days I’m wondering if I’m really crushing on him or if I’m just holding onto him because I don’t know any better. Long story but if you ever feel like I have a thing for childhood friends to lovers trope, maybe blame him.

Wow. Oversharing much? Let’s get to those replies then, before I tell you what colour my underwear is or something.

Also!! Stream Lover. You won’t regret it.

volcanopasta replied to your photoset “@ ea guess what we still don’t have in ts4”

I miss spooning

I feel like that’s one of those little things half of the community misses. ;-;

simlishprincess replied to your photoset “MAGNOLIA???”

she’s morphing

She’s broken like this really often and it scares me :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Vanessa: “So do you forgive me?” Gwyneth: “Of course I do. I must...”

Lol, a bpr founder telling thez plan no more children, they are so funny

These sims have no clue what I have in store

And just you wait for gen 2

Just you wait

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “There it is. Wonder what she could use the computer for…;) (no, I...”

Well I can`t say this is surprisingXD

Yeah...do most people go for purple? At least most bpr people I follow/followed went for this colour :D I also wanted to do this thing where the founder chooses the pink person, but the heir is purple. Idk why, I just wanted it to be like that haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Uhh oh hi again. You guys are seeing this right after the last post,...”

Jeez, Vanessa looks like that liquid Terminaor from Terninator 2.Funnily enough he was posing as a police officerXD

Lol I have no idea what you’re talking about because I’m bad at watching iconic movies (read as: I haven’t watched any of the movies that people think everyone has watched :’D) but I’ll believe you lmao

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “I really can’t justify this, can I? Listen, I have to stay true to my...”

Sometimes the aliens won't let you go even if you want to.

Oh you’re right

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “She traded her policeman hat for a fishnet top. Fashion, you know.”

me as a policeman

Saaaame

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “You know how I said I couldn’t justify this? Well…Alexa play Oops I...”

Yeah, make Roxanne that purple sibling/s

Careful what you wish for 👀

dandylion240 replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

Awe I'm glad you didn't delete without telling anyone. You would have been missed. But you're not the only one who thinks about doing that though.

I love seeing you on my dash ❤️

1o8percent replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

I’m glad that sharing your worries was able to help you. Simblr can be overwhelming and well life in general can be too. It’s nice to have someone to let it out to. I’m glad you’re still around!

♥♥♥

Thank you guys so much. This happens to me from time to time, but it’s never been this bad.

desira-sims replied to your post “Random thoughts and ideas: NSB, BC and my hair (again)”

I’m slowly working through the sentence starters too. I didn’t realize quite how difficult some of them would be. Lol

Same! I might incorporate one of them into my yellow gen because it would fit there perfectly. God I’m really going to milk this one awful awful event for angst huh. That will be frowned upon. As for the other...I have an idea for it but it doesn’t fit the og Raleb timeline at all (it was for them) and I want it to be canon...like I kinda just don’t want to call it an AU, but I guess I’ll have to.

aiseinei replied to your photoset “Eden: “Ughhh oh my god my life is soooo hard!”

I would be too if I was stuck staring pink in the mirror for the rest of my life �� no very cute!

Oof same haha. One of the reasons why I was hesitant about starting BPR was the pink :D

And then I went and made my founder marry a pink sim and have four pink children with her, because that makes sense. I love making myself suffer, yay!

Thank you, btw!

medleymisty replied to your post “I'm not saying I want to re-read my entire NSB but...I kinda do. Will...”

*hugs* We're our own worst critics. I used to cringe at my old stuff too, but really it was decent. I might have learned more since then, but it was still good. I'm glad you can see the good in yours. :)

I’m definitely not as hard at my younger self anymore. I went and read some of my stories written when I was 13-14, and I tried to look at it that way. They weren’t perfect, but maybe they were good for a child of that age. I mean, I always got good grades on my writing homework, and my teachers have always liked how I worked with words, so...yeah, it’s not perfect, but I’m not going to have perfectly fleshed out characters and storylines when I have barely even understood that the world isn’t just black and white, good and evil. There are shades inbetween.

That got deep again but I have a lot of feelings about this and I’m sorry to my younger writer self for how I’ve treated her. Keep going, kid.

xiapxls replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Whenever I come across a new blog I'm interested in I always read everything before I hit follow

whysimstho replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

It was how I found your blog actually!

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have! ✋✋

elisabettasims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I feel like I read over 90% of it?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me. Was in love with Ross since he was born in game. He was such a lil cutie!!

desira-sims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Came across a Ross and Caleb post and went back to the beginning to read it all.

1o8percent replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have ��

Wooow there’s a lot of you. And you stuck with me through the bad and the worse, through all the dumb ideas I got...thank you. Seriously, thank you. There’s more in store, I promise.

You’ll want to punch me in the face eventually, I’m just saying.

Speaking of punching someone in the face, yesterday I was waiting for my hair to dry and I thought hmm, let’s go read gen 2 of my NSB. And...I knew Ross was an idiot when he was young, but I forgot he was that bad. I’m glad none of us accepted it and we only collectively forgave him when he got his crap together. Yay. Also yay we didn’t cancel him because cancel culture is disgusting, people can learn from their mistakes.

I’m going off topic again. That happens when I’m in a good mood.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

It's true, there is never enough.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

There is never enough

Glad we’re on the same page haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “��”

Yes, tumblr finally stopped bullying me and send my ask!

Yay tumblr, it got its crap together for once!

No, jokes aside, if you ever send me an ask and I don’t respond, feel free to send it again. I think I got better at answering my asks fast, so you can definitely tell by that. Also, if I answer everyone else’s and not yours...that’s also a sign because I hardly ever keep asks private (unless I’ve been asked to do so, then I’ll always respect your wish!)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “I have to catch a bus in like ten minutes but here’s what I’ve been...”

This hairstyle suits Ross!

It kinda really does?? It was also the closest I could get to his ts4 one haha.

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Contestant number seven has arrived! Talia: “Is everything alright?...”

god yeah as an experienced bc player i feel that, introductions take SO long and get SO annoying

I had an “ok I’m never doing this again” moment with literally every contestant because 1) it was taking forever and 2) making ten different and yet still entertaining dialogues was hard

And I write a lot so you’d say that would be easy for me, but nope :’D

doka-chan replied to your post “I don't know how many of you are interested in my book...”

Book recommendations are always a plus. Thank you ! :)

I like them too! Not only because, well, I get a book recommendation, but also because I’m always curious about what people read haha.

vintageplumbobs replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Not all of us have time for breakfast! I can’t be looking at that in the staff kitchen! People will riot! ��

Oh that’s right, forgive me tumblr, I have sinned

desira-sims replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

That is the sweetest thing ever. ��

dandylion240 replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

I love it ❤️

Thank you guys ;-; ♥ I loved writing this so much. It gave me that nice warm feeling inside, you know what I mean? They make me so happy! ;-;

wcif a vampire best friend that would eventually end up marrying me?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Every single post of Emerson bc was flagged and they weren’t nsfw either mostly

Yeah, this is so weird...I know people say it happens when the picture has a lot of “skintone” coloured pixels...but that’s not always the case with my flagged posts??

Also (I’ll never shut up about this)...why is there a female-presenting nipples rule when it clearly can’t ever tell female and male nipples apart? I’m just saying. And yes I get it, for AI it sure has to be difficult to tell such things apart but in my opinion that’s exactly why they should get rid of it and only incorporate it when it can tell it apart. Actually, hold on, nope. The nipple rule is stupid no matter what gender the nipple is.

And I’ve just used the word nipple more times than ever before in my nineteen-something years long life.

desira-sims replied to your photoset “Some more pictures of Aretha ♥”

She's so pretty

Thank you! ♥ I’m happy with how she turned out.

vintageplumbobs replied to your photoset “I did not forget about those townie makeovers! @epicvictoria suggested...”

That style really suits her. But then...maybe I’m biased...

I think it suits her way better than her original outfits too, but same, I might be biased...vintage/retro aesthetic is my jam.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

Looking good!

omiscanking replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

I'm scrEAMINGGGG

Haha thank you! I hope it’s a good kind of screaming :D

toxoplasmajuice replied to your post “Thoughts?”

screenshots are cool and all but i say if you wanna rely more on text then go for it! especially if you've figured out that taking all those screenshots is an obstacle for you - do what works best for you, you know?

doka-chan replied to your post “Thoughts?”

For me a story is up to its writer. I don't mind only one picture with a huge text, or the contrary a lot of picture with little to no text. As long as we got attached to the characters, it's not important, as long as it's progressing and understandable.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I don’t mind reading a lot of text. Pics are always second to the story to me.

desira-sims replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I sort of think there should be a balance. No, not everything needs to be shown as a ss, but it should be more than one photo for a wall of text.

Thank you for your feedback! I think it would be no more than one Word page of text. Which is a lot still but I think that’s the maximum I’d go for. And I mean, I’d show all the important moments. It’s just, I guess I don’t need ten different pictures of the same conversation when these people are just standing next to each other. And it doesn’t need to be split into ten different posts either.

I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

TS4 looks good on her! ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

Cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

I love her!!

Thank you guys! I really like how she turned out too.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I'm thinking of starting something like "random facts about..." tags...”

I do love when people talk about their characters and stories! It makes OCs more real and all the small details are just adorable!

Me too. I want to know all the details. Tell me how you came up with this or that. Tell me what inspired you to do this. Tell me which song you associate with them. Tell me little things like what shower gel they’re using. I JUST LOVE OCS OKAY

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Nicky: “This is a tragedy. Can I burn my picture before anyone sees...”

me whenever i finish a drawing

big relatable mood

create-a-sim replied to your post “list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for...”

I love good lyrics as well ;)

I’ve recently found a lot of appreciation for lyrics that seem simple, but then you get into them or read some behind the scenes facts and realize they’re not as simple as they might seem. Then I feel like the person who wrote it is a genius.

ineptbubbles replied to your photoset “Could I ever get bored of her? Nope. Could I ever get bored of making...”

Omgosh I love that shirt!!

Me toooo and I need one irl ;-; But I mean, I’ve told my sister so many times this week, maybe when my birthday comes around in December, she’ll remember and she’ll tell my parents I want it? :D I mean I could just ask them for that myself but I just know I’d be embarrassed for some reason.

mlpsimmer replied to your photoset “Roxanne: “Dad, what are you doing here?! You told me you were supposed...”

Your sims are gorgeous!

Thank you so muuuuch! ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

These two. �� My heart. I just love them.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

I love this thank you ❤️

Same. They borrowed my heart, said they’d give it back and then ran away with it and I never saw it again. smh guys, stealing isn’t nice

And no, thank YOU for making me write this ♥

mlpsimmer replied to your post “Tumblr……..your protect-kids-from-seeing-nipples algorithm still isn’t...”

It happened to one of my drafts, which was never published. They were fully dressed, too! It's a little annoying.

Yeah, I just talked about this above in a reply to an older comment. It’s...ugh tumblr, what is u doing

13 notes · View notes

koganphrancis · 6 years

Text

Fiona Faded Away

A visual representation of how reluctant I was to even watch the episode. (gif source: i-usedtobe-normal)

A visual representation of my face as I watched the episode.

It was SO boring. And emotionless. Believe me when I tell you that Joe Mazzello posted an 80 second video of himself breaking up with a piece of cardboard and it was more compelling than Fiona’s send off. Don’t take my word for it-watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvfyh_hD2F4

The video has everything the show was missing-longing looks, inside jokes, references to things past, REASONS to break up...

The show gave me hardly anything to snark about, but here’s a recap anyway, under the cut.

I don’t know how they managed, but the show has actually gotten worse since I stopped watching after episode 6 (you remember that one? Cam’s bullshit swan song?). There is nothing compelling happening, since anything that DOES happen is wiped out in the next scene containing the same characters-or even within the same scene.

I truly was bored to tears, so I ain’t gonna recap much.

I think John Wells is too in love with his idea that actors leaving a show is just a thing that happens and you don’t have to spotlight it and make it a big deal-in real life, people move in and out of other’s lives all the time, right? But Fiona is supposed to be considered FAMILY even to the viewing audience and how cold and unfeeling to you have to be to put that on par with someone you take classes with or work in an office with for a period of time moving on?

He said in post-airing interviews that having Fiona saying goodbye to characters would get too repetitive or whatever-but she didn’t really say a proper goodbye to anyone and the episode was bland and felt false.

Frank was more annoying than ever-laid up on the couch and expecting the family to wait on him hand and foot and keep him doped up and on a constant beer drip. He had some interaction with Franny that I guess we were supposed to find humorous, but the thought of Debbie leaving her toddler napping in a house with only an incapacitated man was actually horrifying. Even if the kid couldn’t get out of her crib and down the stairs (which she could) it was child endangerment. What if there had been a fire? The other “humorous” Shameless thing involving him was his bedpan needed to be emptied and they had the props department whip up something that looked like human shit and Carl dumps it in the downstairs toilet and then washes the bedpan out in the KITCHEN sink wearing the yellow gloves one assumes are there for washing dishes, plus using the kitchen sink sponge. Another insight as to how the writers, especially Wells, think poor people live. All the other Gallagher kids but Liam are right there, and not one of them yells at Carl not to use that sink and those supplies.

Frank was the only character whose farewell to Fiona might have been considered to have any emotional punch, but since they weren’t facing each other when they spoke, I thought a lot of it was just meh. He comes as close as he can to thanking her, but fucks it up by saying she “helped” raise the family. It was in character for him not to be able to face how much responsibility his shitty parenting forced onto her, and her upset reaction was justified, but it came so late into the episode that I was numb and was like, “Just walk out the door already!”

Lip is dealing with yet another heatless romance. He and Tami have a fight after she gets some hard to hear medical news. So, granted she had every right to be upset and overwhelmed, but the actress didn’t pull it off, and going from tears to “let’s fuck in a dirty bathroom” to “forget it” to getting into her car to Lip chasing after said car to Tami letting him in to driving under some LA overpass (I really don’t think they were in Chicago for that part of the scene) to fucking in said tiny car with the camera a dozen feet or so away to getting out of the car to pull up her underwear to him getting out to zip up his pants to fighting about whether she should put the kid up for adoption to saying they don’t love each other to Lip saying but maybe he could grow to love her to her driving off in a huff to leave him to walk back to work-yes, kids, that all happened in ONE scene. Am I supposed to give a shit about these people? Am I supposed to buy into each of the half dozen or more emotions they’re trying to cram into that one scene? There’s no build up, there’s certainly no time to process what’s going on and to decide if I think one or both or neither of them have a point, and there’s no consequences to any of the elements of what we were forced to watch! Lip gets back to the bike shop, his boss diffidently asks him to do his job, and Tami’s waiting for him, ready to talk to him again and go get something to eat. By the end of the episode she’s at the Gallaghers with a beer in her pregnant hand, dancing. WTF?

Lip’s final scene with Fiona-just by seeing her one dinky suitcase being packed he’s all, “You going? Okay, good. Let’s throw you a party!”

Debbie and Carl-lumping them together since the show seems determined to. They have an awful bonding over having their hearts broken by Kelly thing going on-it’s too bad they never established one of them were adopted so they could just have Debbie and Carl hook up romantically, it’s sort of how the show feels they’re pairing them up-ew. Just because Kelly woke up to Debbie kissing her and freaked out and ran off and had already (I guess?) dumped Carl because he’s too clingy, they decide to destroy her truck. Carl has some sort of awesome spray paint that doesn’t drip and does a professional-level graffiti job on the side of the truck, Debs punctures all the tires, and I thought they didn’t have time to pour sugar into the gas tank when the car alarm went off, but Kelly mentions it later, so I guess maybe they poured it before they ran. (And then she had it all fixed the same day so she could drive around again, but sure, it’s Shameless.)

Carl and Debbie have a scene together that’s pretty much Ian and Lip’s fight from Season 6 about Ian being a janitor (kept waiting for Carl to say the fast food industry is “where I land”) and their acting was...not good. Both of them just seem to get loud to try to convey any kind of emotion that’s required of them. They both usually act very sleepy and stoic when not having to act worked up. Carl insists he’s quitting school. Kelly comes looking for both of them, and finds Debbie. (Side note: Kelly, Debbie, and Fiona all wore clothes in this episode that looked painfully tight-does the infamous wardrobe lady Lyn Paolo do one fitting at the start of shooting and by the end of the season, if any of the actors have even gained 4 or 5 pounds it’s tough shit and you get what you get? For years Cam has been hulking out of his wardrobe, now it’s others too? Sheesh. Sorry for the side trip.) Debbie gives Kelly this horrible toxic speech, blaming Kelly for “making” her and Carl fall in love with her. Um, excuse you? It’s her fault you’re obsessed and stalking her? Anyway, Kelly bitches about what Debbie wrote on her truck, and Debbie says, “That wasn’t me, I can spell” because what it says is Heartbeaker Cunt-Kelly says all moony, “Carl?” and Debbie says Carl’s dropping out of school (she might blame Kelly for that too, but, again, by this point I was so bored I wasn’t paying very close attention). Kelly jumps in her truck, drives to Carl’s fast food place, zip ties him up, marches him out of the restaurant, yells he’s quitting, and tells him he’s going back to school and that she loves him because he’s so dense. She also makes a dumb speech about him not going to West Point but he’ll be a better officer than those guys cuz he’s South Side and can reload while he’s rolling under an Impala during a drive by or something. Um, that might make it better for him as a soldier saving his own ass, but nothing about that says he’s officer material. But again, I don’t care because it’s another Ian recycled storyline that I never bought into to begin with. So, in the space of just a couple of scenes, Carl and Debbie have vandalized her property, called her a cunt, yelled at her for being a siren who forced them both to fall in love with her, Carl’s reunited with her, and we’re supposed to buy that they’re wonderfully in love even though Carl is still just a dumb teen. Even if you’re a Carl fan, there was no time to care about any of the plot points, and by the end of the episode Kelly’s also dancing in the Gallagher living room.

Debbie and Carl don’t have any kind of goodbye with Fiona-just Lip giving them their assignments of what to get for the send off party.

Liam-Oh god, you poor little kid. Liam spends the episode trying to point out to people in the family that they don’t care about him, so he doesn’t care about them. He wants his own room, his own cultural identity...and I guess that’s about it? But, in having his story mainly be that no one cares and he doesn’t care, fans at home don’t care either. Fiona didn’t care enough to stick around if he was truly missing. Not to mention that, as his legal guardian, her leaving the way she is is child abandonment. Carl too-he’s not 18 yet.

Fiona spends most of the episode walking around in her too tight blazer and pants. She drops in at The Alibi and Vee talking about Kev being Jesus reminds Fi she has a brother once known as Gay Jesus, so she goes to visit him. No goodbye to Vee or Kev. The Fiona/Ian scene is (no surprise here) badly written. She’s obviously been there before-she doesn’t ask Ian any questions about how he’s being treated or what his life there is like-but hasn’t she been on a bender since she didn’t drop him off in Episode 6? And if she went to see him after hitting AA and Al Anon, wouldn’t she have told Ian the family news? Especially about Lip’s girlfriend? Continuity? Shameless never bothers with it. She asks about his hair, he says a guy in the infirmary had lice and it was easier just to buzz it. She goes on to say, “So you’re STILL working in the infirmary”-so, again, she knows shit about his life on the inside. He says it beats working in the laundry like Mickey, so, okay, we get a Mickey mention, but it’s pretty fucking neutral. (Not that I was expecting more.) But once again, I can’t help but feel it’s a bit of a dig-how does working in the infirmary and being exposed to puke, pink eye, and parasites “beat” working in a place where Mickey goes back to the cell smelling like clean linens every night? And then fucking Fiona has to go and say, “Mickey washing undies, you gotta send me a picture.” Bitch, YOU worked in a prison laundry! You know he’s not handwashing inmates’ delicates! You forget about those big canvas sacks you had to sling from machine to machine? It just rubbed me the wrong way, the two of them sitting there acting as if they’re (still) better than him. Gallaghers looking down on a Milkovich? I don’t fucking think so!

Also, it really bothered me that Ian’s “putting his medical training to use”. I can just see Wells making him a Certified Nursing Assistant or something when he magically gets out of prison next season-like he’d ever get medical field work with his background now of blowing shit up near minors, his prison record, and his army file.

Anyway, Ian asks if everything’s okay at home and she runs down the list-he blinks at Lip having a girlfriend, but literally doesn’t bat an eye when Fiona says Liam may be missing. Then she tells him she’s thinking it’s time for her to go, and that it’s the first time she’s said it out loud. He’s immediately on board, giving her the support she failed to give him when he wanted to leave with Mickey.

Then after the credits, there’s one more truly dumb ass scene of him playing basketball with his fellow inmates (although I did laugh that he did the courtesy of wearing a beanie so as not to spread his head lice, but when he hugged Fiona their heads were snuggled together sans hat) and a plane flies overhead and he looks up at it and smiles. Why would he assume she was leaving that day-and on a plane? Fiona specifically states how she’s never been on one before in her final scene. John Wells trying to make some sort of poignant moment that just looked hokey and fake.

One last thing about the money Fiona gets-now that it’s not being rolled into another investment, won’t she get smacked with capital gains tax? I’d love it if they have to have her crawling back to Debbie the following April to tell her she can’t keep all of the $50K she left her.

Also, Debbie’s face when she sees the check? To me it looked like she was thinking, “Now it’s MY turn to really fuck up!” And when she inevitably does, it’ll just be boring too.

Anyway, I got to thinking later how if Cam hadn’t fucked everything up by coming back to the show, the scene with Fiona would’ve been a good way for him to end his time on Shameless. We see him looking happy-he’s getting three square meals a day, there are people to make sure he’s taking his meds, he’s probably even getting to talk to a therapist in there-plus he’s getting good loving every night from Mickey. He’s probably in the best situation of his life-even when he was a kid at home at the beginning of the series he was with Kash in a very unhealthy situation. He and Mickey don’t have Terry to deal with, he’s on a schedule, things seem good. AND THEN I GOT PISSED AS HELL THAT THE SHOW HAS REDUCED ME TO THINKING IN TERMS OF CRAPPY SCRAPS LIKE THAT BEING “BEST CASE SCENARIOS”. THE LAST PLACE A PERSON DEALING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS SHOULD BE IS IN PRISON!

Ugh, what a shit show. If Noel’s not coming back, what is the point in trying to continue? Here’s my pessimistic outlook-Noel won’t be back. Why should he come back? The show has gotten progressively worse since S6. All the pressure would be on him to salvage a show that’s done everything it can to save money on writers and talent. There’s no indication that anything is going to change-Wells isn’t going to suddenly hire experienced talented writers to try to put this thing back on track. There’s no incentive to. Showtime has renewed them (and I get the feeling maybe it’s for the last time and they all already know it-hence Cam coming back so quick-he’s probably been told it’s his last chance to make bank) and even if my theory about it being the last season is wrong, ratings have obviously played no role in renewing the show the past few seasons. There’s no reason to “improve” the show. They’ve let is slip further and further into a cesspool in each season since 5. Would I love to see Noel as Mickey again, swearing and being sweet and the best character in the entire history of TV? Yes. Do I think it’s still possible given what a piece of crap this show has become? Not really :(

#Recap #It was worse than I thought #and so damn boring #PULL THE PLUG #Season 9 Episode 14

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bbclesmis · 5 years

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Town & Country: Why Les Misérables's Dominic West Thinks Jean Valjean Is a Better Hero Than Spiderman

Plus, why he thinks the world could use some good old-fashion revolutions.

Dominic West laughs easily, smiles warmly. His character in Masterpiece PBS's Les Misérables, the long-suffering ex-convict Jean Valjean, does not.

If anything, Valjean is West's idol, rather than his counterpart—and so is Victor Hugo, the author behind the original 1862 novel, which West declares is "the best book I've ever read." Here, West opens up about why the story remains resonant today, his character's many haircuts, and the debatable value of the Les Mis musical.

What it’s like playing a character that changes so much physically during the show?

Yeah, this is a performance mainly based on hairstyles. I have a big wig and a ponytail and then I have my own hair. And then we planned it so that at the end I could shave off all my hair and film the start of the the show at the end. So I start in prison with chopped-up hair, and then I die with the same chopped-up hair.

It’s funny how things like hairstyles do actually dictate your performance... In some ways that affects the way you play it, because Valjean returns to what he’s most comfortable with, and where he thinks he belongs, which is in prison. I think so much of his psychology is about his guilt of an institutionalized person, who’s been brutalized in an institution, and believes that’s the only place he belongs. So all that comes from hairstyle.

Did you have to lift some weights for the role?

I did a bit of boxing training, which is the most brutal. But I did a bit of that because it’s difficult when you read the script and it says “this is the toughest guy in the world,” and you go, “Christ, I think they’ve miscast it.” So I did a bit of that, yeah. Inevitably, you have to beef up, try and be tough. But at my age it gets harder.

I know you’ve played a lot of bad guys. What it was like to play one of the most famous good guys ever?

Heaven. Heaven, heaven. Such a relief. You spend a lot of time with these characters and you have to live with them and you have to think the way they think. For whatever reason, the way I look or something, I get to play a lot of assholes. And it’s interesting, because the devil has the best jokes, but eventually it becomes wearing, and evil, and… Bad people are ultimately empty. They’re ultimately not nourishing. Not interesting. And good people are.

[Valjean] such a great hero. He’s such a strong man, who’s been through hell, and is constantly fighting with his bestial nature to be a good guy... And that’s why this character has survived as long as he has and been central to people’s affections for 150 years or whatever. He’s the greatest hero in literature, and he’s amazing. You know, he climbs the side of a building like Spiderman, he can beat anyone up as well as Ironman, but not of those guys did 20 years hard labour in a 19th century jail. So he’s tough, but he’s a deeply compassionate guy.

What was it like working opposite David Oyelowo as Javert?

The first question I had was, what is Javert’s problem? Why is he so obsessed with this guy Valjean? He crosses the whole of France in order to become his head of police in the town that Valjean has moved to. And to me, it was obvious that, I mean you always go for the strongest impulses, and the strongest impulses are usually love, hate, and sex. So I said, he’s obviously in love with him, he’s got some thing for Valjean. And the director didn’t want to make that too explicit, because it slightly narrows the interpretation of the book. But we did manage to get… When I strip off, when I’m leaving prison and I strip naked to be dressed as a citizen, David Oyelowo who plays Javert gave me a slight sort of sideways glance, and in that glance I think you see a certain, I don’t know, maybe a sexual attraction between them.

It’s very, very odd, and I couldn’t understand it for ages. Valjean surrenders himself to Javert two or three times. He keeps going back to him and saying, ‘Okay, you can take me back to prison now.’ You go, ‘Why?! You’ve got out, you’ve done 20 years for stealing a loaf of bread!’ Why does he want to keep going back. And it’s key to Valjean’s psychology that this is a man who’s been institutionalized and brutalized and believes that that’s the only place he deserves. He doesn’t deserve to be loved or be in the outside world. And that therefore there is a sort of, longing, and an unbreakable bond between the prisoner and the jailer. I’s a very interesting psychology that Victor Hugo analyzes, and it took me a while to get a handle on it.

Is that part of the reason you think it’s interesting to see this elongated version of it onscreen today?

A guy I was speaking to, he was in our show actually, who played Thenadier in [a musical production of Les Mis]. And he said, it’s extraordinary. This story has an incredible effect on people. It really touches people very deeply. Victor Hugo said that as long as there is poverty in the world, this story will have meaning. And I think people respond to that very much.

Now as much as any time in the past, there is an underclass, people who are neglected or forgotten in society, and are despised. And in America, we know very well who they are. They’re the immigrants; they’re the poor; and it’s as true now as it was in Hugo’s day. I think that’s why it still has incredible resonance.

When you were preparing for the role, was there anything you looked to aside from the script and the book to figure out how you wanted to play the character?

The thing is about the book is, for every scene we did, I would just open the book and be able to read exactly what Valjean was thinking... But what else did I do? I looked at Victor Hugo’s paintings and etchings that he did. He was an amazing artist as well as a writer, and he made some very dark, sinister paintings. And I looked at the paintings from that period. And I hung around Paris for a bit and went to the revolutionary museums.

It’s just an endlessly fascinating topic, that period in history, when people had proper riots and proper demonstrations and died for what they believed in. My daughter, who’s 20, is very much involved at the moment in the protests in London against climate change. And you know, she has a really funny badge I saw the other day that says “riots not diets.” And I sort of said, if you want to see what real student protest is about, you go to Paris in '68. But where [the protesters in 1968] got it from was around [the time of Les Misérables], the 19th century, when young people stood up for what they believed in and were prepared to die for it. That’s so romantic and so compelling.

Yeah, definitely. When I was watching it, I was like, "hmm, not sure if I’m ready to take up arms."

"I think I’ll just watch TV."

Yeah. Just a bit safer.

But it’s true! I mean, we have become anesthetized, we have become dumb, we watch TV and smoke pot where our ancestors built barricades and said, “Fuck this, we’re not standing for it.” And it’s time we did it again.

I think it is starting to bubble up again.

I hope so. It certainly fucking needs it. It’s been a long time coming.

What would you tell someone who has seen the musical, loves the musical, but is obviously preparing for a different experience with this TV show?

Oh, they’ll love this! They’ll absolutely love it, because it’s the characters and storyline that they love, and you just see it more in depth. I don’t think you miss the songs. Lily [Collins] was saying the other day that, you know, in one song lyric, in one line, she has a whole episode. You know, what happened to her? Where did she come from? Who did she fall in love with, how did he treat her? How did she end up a prostitute on the street? And we get to see all that. And so I think that anyone who loved the musical would really love this.

As a person who’s not really obsessed with the musical…

You’re obsessed?

No, not at all.

I can’t stand it. [Laughs.] Don’t say that! I haven’t seen the musical, actually. I just saw the film and I couldn’t get through it. Oh, God.

Did you see, Michelle Obama, in her book, she said she and Barack when on a date to see Les Mis and left at halftime.

Like, “we got the point.”

She said, [Barack Obama] turned to her and went, “This is awful.” And they left! Which is a shame because it’s an amazing book. If you haven’t read it, I really recommend it. It’s an amazing experience.

What is it about the book that struck you?

Well, he’s just such a great storyteller. He finds a story in a doorknob. He says, “this is the doorknob made from a tree in the forest where there was the battle of the…” You know, he has a three chapter digression on the Paris sewers. And you sort of go, “I don’t want to fucking read that,” and then you start reading it, and it’s utterly compelling!

And it’s not difficult to get into like Tolstoy can be. You get straight in there with interesting characters, and I was incredibly moved reading the book. And I think it’s just one of the most accessible masterworks out there. Have you read the book?

I haven’t. Clearly I need to.

Only because it’s deeply enjoyable. And nourishing. And really, like any great work of art, you just benefit hugely, but we don’t have enough time in the day to take in all these great works of art. I’d like to read Shakespeare’s sonnets every day, but instead you just end up reading your phone.

But if you get a chance, do. It’s really great. You won’t get it from the musical, that’s for sure.

#les mis bbc #bbc les mis #dominic west #Jean Valjean #Interviews #articles #town and country #pbs

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zolganif · 7 years

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Okay, so I promised myself I would stay out of the current drama going on in the wrestling fandom. What basically people are saying about "Dean stans". About them being hypocritical.

Well, first off, I'm not taking any sides here. So anyone whose saying that so and so are wrong, don't try to convince me. I can understand where both sides are coming from. I just think its stupid how fans who think the ones who are Dean fans are wrong, because they feel its disrespectful to him that they have Seth tag teaming with Jason Jordan, than winning the tag belts. Calling them ignorant for feeling this way about what happened on Raw this past Monday.

Now, in a way, I don't think WWE is being disrespectful to Dean by doing this. Having Seth tag team with Jason to get him over with the fans. Honestly though, I think something else can be done to get him over with fans, its just that he's stuck in this shitty storyline being Kurt Angle's son. That's not going so well. I don't know what to think of Seth and him being a tag team. Just going to have to see how this goes. I would rather see a good feud between Seth and Roman, because it seems they still got shit they need to work on between themselves. Anyway, I don't feel that Dean is being replaced by these two tag teaming together. Now, say if they were going to have him take his place in the Shield...Ugh. No! No thanks. I don't like the idea of that, period. To me the Shield will be only just the original three members. Not *insert random superstars name*. And even if they did that, it wouldn't look right...I can't picture Jason being a replacement for Dean in the Shield. Just doesn't fit his character. To me that it doesn't.

Next, someone called Dean a 'special snowflake'. How is he exactly? Just because of what fans are saying? Well, sorry that us "Dean stans" feel that he is being replaced, disrespected, feeling that him being a grand slam champion is overlooked and not worth mentioning just as much as Roman's, that his character is just not serious enough, always being treated like a joke.

Also, someone else said: "Oh, Dean lost another match. Watch the fan girls start complaining." Okay, first of all fuck you very much for saying that. Have a gold medal for being such a bitch.

But no, seriously...its not him losing, its just that ever since the Shield reunion, it seemed that they were trying to make Dean look more like the weak link of Shield. I don't know how to explain it right now, but it just seemed that way to me. And that match he had with Samoa Joe, it could have gone way fucking better. I'm sure he could have easily won against him, or put up a better fight than what we seen that night.

You know, I'm just so tired of some of you fans who call us Dean fans ignorant or crazy. Whatever you say. We have a right to defend him without being called all of this stuff, or see what you all say about us. I don't call, for example, Roman fans crazy for defending him, because they have a right too also. And plus, I do agree with what they say about Roman. He doesn't deserve all the hate that he gets. I just think its dumb how people will give you shit, just for defending or believing that a WWE superstar, like Dean Ambrose, deserves better than what he gets.

Anyway...now about what people are saying that Roman was basically being replaced when they had Kurt Angle, Triple H in Shield gear over these past few months.

Well, with Kurt Angle, Dean and Seth needed a new member for their team at the last minute pretty much. And during that whole match, it felt like they were giving respect to Roman by doing certain things. So, in a way it felt like his presence was still there.

As for Triple H in Shield gear at that house show. Wasn't Roman still sick? I don't know. But it was just something that they did for fun. It didn't seem like they were trying to replace him. And plus, I don't consider anything done at house shows to be part of storylines either. Just shows where wrestlers can more have fun at them.

And whoever said that Dean and Seth were actively searching for a replacement...well, I don't know what drugs you're taking, but give me some. ha. It was only just those two nights. Two freaking nights.

I just feel that with some wrestling fans, if you don't agree with what they're saying, they'll give you so many reasons why you're wrong. Like if you have a different opinion about anything related to the Shield reunion, what lead up to it, and so on. And don't agree with all that is being said, you're automatically wrong for having a different opinion on it. Its like these fans don't even wanna bother listening, understand what you're trying to explain.

Also...someone said that Dean isn't family to Roman? haha. Well, it seems that he still does consider him a part of his family, after all the bull crap they've been through :) And also, he said on Twitter "If you hurt my brother, I WILL hurt you" :)

*smiles to herself* Seems that ambreigns is more real to me :) Just goes to show who he cares about and trusts more :)

Also, one more thing. How can you expect us Dean fans not to be upset. Like think this is in a way, disrepectful to him? Heres something that sticks out to me, as to why there is more reason Dean is being replaced, that Seth doesn't really care about him. Something he said that night.

"I care about beating the Bar and becoming Raw tag team champion again." Really explains a lot doesn't it?

Like I can't help but feel he only used Dean to get the tag belts, played with his feelings or something?

And some of you guys wonder why we feel Dean is being disrespected, replaced...

Okay, that is enough now. I'm too sick for all of this nonsence! Night!

#roman reigns #dean ambrose #seth rollins #wwe shield #long ass rant #too sick for this shit

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maximumthrill · 7 years

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Positive Pro Wrestling: 07/27/17 GFW Impact

Because sometimes I want to say nice things about pro wrestling. Also I don’t read GFW taping spoilers, so I’m finding out things as they happen, which is fun too :)

Impact has been good the last little while. The rebrand and the shuffling of talent is still ongoing (and some of it wasn’t for the better, some of the guys from the Billy Corgan era are getting a bit lost in the shuffle like Eli Drake) and the storylines and characters aren’t as edgy as the Corgan era, but it’s a much more solid wrestling product.

- Unlike 205 Live, the X Division guys are allowed to go at their best. The Super X Cup is so cool.

- They’re bolstered by AAA/Lucha Underground/The Crash (they all kind of branch from each other) and Pro Wrestling NOAH guys (MARUFUJI IS ON AMERICAN TV GET HYPE).

- Minis! I don’t really watch enough of them in Lucha Libre, but Octagoncito and Demus were pretty good last week, and Octagoncito being treated like a joke but then running off Trevor Lee was pretty cool. It was like “Oh wow, this small wrestler is really good.”

- The Alberto stuff is... awkward considering his current position. I like it as a babyface vs heel feud, the Caras father and sons vs the gangster LAX (LAX as a concept finally getting its due!), and even though the cops were called on Paige and not him, I think the apparent (and not unforseen) trainwreck that is his personal life gets in the way of truly enjoying it (he tossed Diamante out of the ring onto one of the LAX members and I immediately thought of it, as an example). Maybe not a totally positive thought.

- The best thing on Impact: Grado and Laurel Van Ness. This storyline is so dumb but it’s the one week-to-week that can’t get enough of. Joseph Park’s background acting (feeding Grado lines, crossing his fingers, his facial expressions), Grado trying to avoid deportation. Me and my sister are both wondering where this storyline goes. Do they get married? I think Laurel’s Canadian in real life, does Grado finally overcome Kongo Kong they get married and it turns out it doesn’t save Grado from deportation because she’s not a citizen either? Do shenanigans happen at the wedding and Braxton accidentally ends up marrying Laurel like he was supposed to the first time? Does Grado become a drunk bride? Why are stupid storylines back in wrestling and WHY ARE THEY SO FUN

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minamisconcierge · 7 years

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Several Shades of Sadism Review & Route Review

Okay y’all so I’m finally doing it. I’m sure it’s pretty obvious that I’m in love with this game and all these boys and these stories, but I’ll do my best to be as honest as possible and give a thorough explanation of my likes, and yes -- dislikes.

OVERVIEW. I feel that a lot of people are going to think this game is heavily based around smut and some kinky BDSM stuff. This isn’t necessarily the case. While you’re bound to have those sex scenes with the characters, it’s not the central focus of the game. The focus and story of the game changes dependant on whose route you take. Each potential boyfriend you’re able to choose from has a different route and storyline for you to follow. There are different events that take place over time, and they’re advertised when you open the game for the first time that day, and also can be seen in the info tab under “want to see the news”. There’s also a login bonus every day, and I believe that the new day starts at 2 AM JST.

STORY & PLOT. You’re a concierge at The Royal Shining in Japan, a top class hotel there. You’ve been assigned as the exclusive concierge to the Sweet Room, and on your first day of work, the Head Concierge collapses and you’re going to take his place. The guests you’re to take care of are the brothers of the Kira Group. There’s a mixture of good storytelling along with a great inner monologue by the MC! The interactions between MC and the characters are hilarious, but although sometimes superfluous, reaction-wise. Other than that, there’s a good balance between story progression, humor, pain, and falling in love.

PROGRESSION. You get five tickets a day to follow the main story that refresh every day at 2:00 AM JST. There are missions that you need to complete during the game, whether it be gaining a certain amount of elegance through sweet lessons, or avatar missions. The sweet missions require 20 stamina to do participate in, and you get 100 stamina that refreshes periodically throughout the day. (I think it takes two hours for a full refresh, but don’t quote me on it lol) Avatar missions are missions where you have to buy a certain item / piece of clothing to progress in the story. You can buy avatar items to progress the story with in game currency, but you will not receive the special CG that comes along with it. Other than that, this game is free to play. You’re also able to gain reward points by doing in app offers. Reward points are another currency typically bought with real money, but can be achieved through offers found in the app.

MC She’s not your usual MC. She’s ambitious, has her dreams, has her faults and she recognizes them, as well as her strengths. She attempts to make funny jokes, and her inner monologues are hilarious,and probably what most otome players are thinking of haha. There are some Mary Sue moments, but it’s expected to be, since she’s wooing all these beautiful men lol.

ROUTE REVIEWS

CHIAKI KIRA : SELFISH SADIST X SELF CENTERED I feel that the trope of “man is the heir to _____ and doesn’t want to be, so he finds a way to ruin his reputation” is super common and seen in a lot of otome games / stories in general. I thought his route was going to be super bland, but his personality suited around the story made everything more interesting. He bargains for you to be his fake lover, in exchange to help your dreams come true and work at The Royal Shining UK branch. He gives you a lot of attention, and although it begins off just a play, there’s just that point in your interactions where you can tell that it’s no longer just that. As the MC, you get to watch and experience with him the repercussions of his decisions that he makes, and how he deals with them. He’s a big, lazy, self centered dumb ass who says dumb things sometimes without thinking ahah. As the story goes on, you get to see him become more responsible, even if it’s just slightly so. Oh, and he has a cute little brother too.

TOMA KIRA : EMOTIONLESS SADIST X NURTURING Toma comes off as intimidating and just someone you wouldn’t want to mess with. Just his presence in the room was enough to put anyone on edge. Your usual strong silent type, but soft on the inside. His backstory shows that he is a diligent and hard worker, and his position as the owner of the Japanese Branch of the Royal Shining proves it so. He treats you so standoffish initially, and you just start to feel like a nuisance to him, but when you start to learn more about him, you realize that he’s the way he is for a reason. He takes care of you in his own way, often protecting you from his brothers and putting your safety first. You get to watch him come to terms with his past and his current situation, and how even when he realizes he falls in love with you, still manages to put you first. It’s intriguing to watch how these two seemingly opposites work in a character. Emotionless, but still a nurturing person? When it comes to ‘emotionless’ I don’t think it necessarily means he doesn’t have feelings, but it means that he doesn’t let his feelings get the best of him. His route is well written, and the more that he pushes you, the more you want to keep playing just so you can prove him wrong, lol.

MINAMI KIRA : CHILDISH SADIST X COMPLETE CONTROL The child genius who spent all of his nights studying with a heartbreaking backstory. He’s playful and extremely childish, always asking you to play games with him and to give him constant attention, and even referring to you as his toy. While his route doesn’t centralize on a specific ‘plot’ as Chiaki’s and Toma’s do, the plot is moreso centralized on how Minami develops as a person. Why does he act the way he does? Why is he supposedly the genius that comes once in a century? And why doesn’t this fucker ever sleep? The this trope was interesting was the reason behind his behaviour. There’s a reason that he’s so childish, that he’s so intelligent, and why he never finds time to rest. He often parties and drinks, and there’s reasons he is the way he is. In your time as his concierge, you help him to develop and mature slightly and come to terms with his past and anger and all of his emotions at once. .SPOILERS AHEAD ;; There is a scene of sexual assault, and if this is something that upsets you I heed that you take caution. It’s pretty descriptive, but Minami stops it and beats up that guy. I also want to elaborate more on this later so I’ll put that under a readmore lol. ;; SPOILER END. The scene after this is a crucial part in the development of Minami’s storyline, but it could’ve been built up to and written much better than it was, preferably without the assault. Other than that, his route is an emotional rollercoaster and very painful & touchy in various ways. You get to live through this man growing up and finally able to accept his emotions again.

MEI TARANTINO : HOT & COLD SADIST X MANLY The game’s tsundere. He never really says what he means, blushes a lot at MC’s actions, and often throws childish tantrums that are just silly. It’s almost predictable what he’s going to say, especially when some of his lines are “It’s not like I wanted to see you here, anyway...” Although they’re predictable, they’re very sweet the way that they combined his backstory with the ‘manly’ aspect of him. Mei hated women for a reason, and has always locked away his emotions since he was very young. You spend your time on his route taking care of his dog, and watching him struggle and conquer the emotions that he’d locked away and finally letting them flourish again. Also your resident pianist and character that was dressed up as a girl when they were younger, and bullied because of it. This route is also moreso about how the character himself develops besides the the actual plot of the story.

Rei & Shizuka’s routes should be coming out soon, but here’s my opinions on them based off the events that I’ve participated in.

REI SHINDO : SILENT SADIST X POSSESSIVE Very possessive. He’s that enigma that you don’t really know much about, and that you’ll think you do, until he shows you his true self. Minami often references in his scenes where you can talk to the character that Rei is always hiding something. He doesn’t tease to the same extent that Minami does with full out humiliation, but they’re just small things that he notices about you and is able to nitpick with you. Also, have I mentioned that he’s very possessive to the point that he’ll keep you locked up and all to himself?

SHIZUKA KIRA : TWO FACED SADIST X LONELY I feel like he’d be something along the lines of Mei and say things that he didn’t really mean. Says a lot of harsh words, or words that you pretend that you want to hear, and revels on your reactions and enjoys them. He’s very easily jealous too, watching you get hit on at parties causing him to be very broody and emo off in a corner haha.

I can’t wait to learn more about Rei and Shizuka. I can’t give a genuine opinion on them since I’ve only seen them in events and not their actual routes. ^^

ALL IN ALL, I think this game is very thoroughly thought through. While the characters are all based on tropes and very stereotypical at times, their personalities make the game much deeper than it seemed to be. Even with the sex scenes, there’s still parts that make your heart hurt, make you laugh, and make you fall in love.

MINAMI SPOILER / DISCUSSION THING BELOW. These are all still my opinions by the way, and you don’t have to agree with them; it’s just my view of the situation in itself.

Prior to the assault, Minami comes back drunk to the suite and his friend is helping him in. When they mistakenly come into your room, the friend tries to assault you, and asks Minami for permission to ‘play with his toy’. He grants his permission, and after a period of time of watching, rescinds his permission and beats the other guy the fuck up.

I AM NOT EXCUSING MINAMI’S LACK OF ACTION OR WHAT THAT MAN DID TO MC. Prior to you being his ‘current’ toy, he’s had many before which we find out he quite obviously didn’t care about. His friends probably have had the opportunity to date / be with / hook up with the past ‘toys’ Minami’s had, so this probably wasn’t abnormal to him.

If anything, this was a turning point in Minami’s story. He was so used to giving up his toys to his friends and just leaving him be that he associated what was happening to MC as to what would’ve happened with other toys. But when he realized it was you specifically, something clicked in his brain and he wanted to take it all back.

He realized his emotions finally, after ignoring them for so long.

He realizes that you’re not a toy, not a possession of his, and that’s why after your long discussion after these events, he lets you go and says “you don’t have to be my toy anymore.” He came to terms with that and knew that you weren’t an object and you shouldn’t be treated as such, and that’s why he had to let you go.

Even after the assault, Minami doesn’t really apologize outright. He does so in a very Minami-ish way, chastising MC for taking care of him even though something horrible had just happened to her.

Yes, the situation is horrible and I wish it was written much better leading up to the climax of this story in his route. Any other way could’ve been better than the implied & descriptive assault, and that’s the only thing I was disappointed about.

But this is where Minami finally realizes his emotions, and is caught in a tumultuous state of accepting his emotions or running away from them, for fear of being hurt again.

#several shades of sadism #ruru speaks #chiaki kira #toma kira #shizuka kira #mei tarantino #rei shindo #minami kira #review

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hacksnyderpage-blog · 7 years

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BEN AFFLECK V SNYDERMAN: DAWN OF JAM-IT-ALL-INTO-ONE-MOVIE REVIEW

BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE REVIEW (don't you just love saying it? I hated the film's title since day one) THE CRITICS ARE WRONG! Ben Affleck V Snyderman: Dawn Of Jam-It-All-Into-One-Movie ISN'T worse than Man Of Murder! BvS does deserve its 27% score on Rotten Tomatoes, but Man Of Murder deserves about a 12% on it, if that. The movie's opening weekend box office (even with the massive two day drop once bad word of mouth got out) only proves what we've already known for a longtime: that audiences WANT to see Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman in a movie, they want to see DC characters, no matter how bad the movie is or how badly it depicts the characters. How sad it is that Warner Butchers and the awful filmmakers it hires continually shits on the good faith and enthusiasm and interest of the audience instead of rewarding it with a great film that does all of the characters justice for once. I understand how critics are confused though: Man Of Murder, for all its faults, its shakey-cam, poor editing, lack of character and story development, weak attempt at shuffled storytelling, tonal inconsistency and just plain old inconsistency, is still a more focused film than BvS in that at the end of the day it's just supposed to be telling Snyderman's origin story. Dawn Of Jam-It-All-Into-One-Movie, on the other hand, tried to do a Justice League origin, Dark Knight Returns, Death Of Superman, Injustice, and Knightmare all in one film, while still trying to set up and tease upcoming films, even at the expense of itself. Ben Affleck V Snyderman is really simultaneously both a better yet worse film than Man Of Murder though. Better in the sense that there were more moments that I liked in it than MOS, but worse because it's actually less "focused". There were 3 main improvements in BvS over Man Of Murder: 1.) No whorish product placement 2.) Less shakey-cam/the camera is actually held still for more than 3 seconds at a time 3.) They can't ruin Superman's origin again since they did that in the last movie...all that was left for them to do was ruin the Clark Kent aspect and kill him, which they did (more on that later) The film is so ludicrously self serious and pretentious that I found myself laughing at moments that were not supposed to be funny. They say there's no humor in the snyderverse, but I disagree, this movie was full of funny moments: - The Wayne murder and young metersoxual mop-top haircut dime-a-dozen child actor Bruce Wayne falling slow-mo down a hole and floating on bats was a riot - The "fuckit" credits sequence where credits are casually dropped on screen as scenes from the movie play, I thought they stopped doing that shit in superhero movies a while ago...that was a clear indicator that the film would be a pile of shit right there - That wheelchair Jesse Zuckerberg tried out for Scoot McNairy whirring every time it moved made me laugh my ass off -- almost reminded me of that one Mad TV skit, "The Brightlings", where Seth Green plays an old man in a motor-powered wheelchair who rides it into people (Almost as funny as BvS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPO6H1c7tw ). I literally blurted out "Lieutenant Dan" in the theater when Scoot McNairy's character was bailed out of prison and went to see Lex, and everyone fucking laughed. - The blairing shitty egyptian techno music that played every time Gall Gagot showed up was distractingly comical - Jason Momoa's douchey Battlefield Earth character holding his breath underwater was a knee slapper - Batman hitting Superman with a sink was fucking hilarious -- they jammed everything into this film including the kitchen sink, maybe Snyder was just trying to homage Frank Miller's timeless classic & critical darling film version of The Spirit in which Gabriel Macht hits Samuel L Jackson with a sink in front of a green screen...Snyder loves to borrow from Frank Miller, you know. - "Martha" being the safe word had me grabbing my sides in laughter and unbelief. And they said there's no jokes in the snyderverse.... .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... TLDR review of the film: - It sucks- Jesse Zuckerberg was a predictably terrible choice for Lex Luthor, who is also written horrendously - Gall Gagot is a terrible actress and a terrible Wonder Woman choice- Superman is shit on- It's more of a Batman movie than a Superman movie...which is to say it's a Batman movie - Snyder's Doomsday is still more accurate than Snyder's Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman, and Lex Luthor- Affleck was fine - The last 40 minutes of the film are the only time I ever gave a shit - Lex vs Superman on the roof, Batman vs Superman, and Doomsday vs everyone are the only interesting parts and where I was semi entertained and gave a damn- Jeremy Irons' Alfred is the best thing in the movie ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... LONG DETAILED, IN DEPTH REVIEW: I will address the rest of the film in sections, starting with my thoughts on how it handled the characters below: .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... SUPERMAN: Snyder shits the bed with Superman again, and even Cavill is awful this time. Cavill's "Superman" has 3 expressions: sad, sad, and more sad. But Cavill is of course the last problem with Snyder's "Superman", the biggest problems have always been Snyder and the writing. The movie is custom made to make trailers out of. We're robbed of so many potentially great Superman moments in this film, moments that we thought were just teases in the trailers for maybe big action scenes....turns out they were just teases in the movie too. There are several moments in the film where you think a great Superman moment is coming, but they never happen: - There's a scene where Lois Lane is held hostage by terrorists (right after she remarks that she's "not a woman, she's a reporter", BARF), where you think Supes is going to swoop in and fight the bad guys...I'm there waiting, thinking, hoping it's going to be awesome and that we'll finally get to see Superman do something Superman-like and that it will feel like a Superman movie, but nope. He just kills the terrorist holding Lois hostage (after a guy that's supposed to be Jimmy Olsen is shot in the head) in the dumbest way possible and the scene is over. I'd have thought a heat vision blast to the guy would have been smart...but since Snyder is not smart, he instead has Superman jump at him. Dumb (also, looks like that "killing to learn not to kill" rule only beget....more killing, eh, snyderbots? Hahaha). - Do we get to see Superman saving people from a burning building and putting the fires out? Nope, instead we see him bringing one person out of this huge fire behind him and standing there to be touched like the messiah. - Superman dragging a boat on a chain, oh boy, so we get to see him go into the water and dig it up? Nope....just mopey Supes walking along the ice with what a burden it is to help people and be a superhero weighing upon him. He's good but "everyone"/talking heads hate him...like Spider-Man. He's good but people fear him...like the X-Men. He even gets a flashback pep talk scene with Kevin Costner on a mountain top (perhaps where the tornado dropped him, LOL), who gives Snyderman a "Silence of the Horses" speech (I LOL'd when Clark, like Clarice, asked if the horse nightmare ever stopped). This is Costner's version of Alfred's "Burn the forrest down" speech in The Dark Knight. They make Snyderman pretty much like everything but Superman, really. - Do we get to see Supes save those people on the roof from the flood we saw in the trailer? Nope....just him hovering there like the messiah again in exactly what the trailer showed. - How about a shirt rip scene, we at least get that, right? Nope! Snyder sets one up when Clark sees the Day Of The Dead fire on TV....and then cuts it off. - A bomb goes off in Congress, with a huge fire on TV, and does Snyderman put the fire out, and try to get the remaining people outside to safety? Nope.....he just stands there and looks at the ground. There is virtually zero reveling and enjoying the Superman character in the film on behalf of the filmmakers, whereas we get scene after scene of Batman beating up thugs and showing off his array of popularity that are made with excitement, Superman gets no such thing. There's no awe or sense of wonder or fun the way Snyder handles these scenes with Superman. They're treated as background for bits of boring, uninteresting, pretentious, lofty dialogue pseudo-philosophizing about "does the world need superheroes?" and "what is a man?" and all that bullshit you don't go to a Superman movie for. These should have been exciting action pieces where we see Superman being heroic finally... instead they feel like Snyder dutifully tacked them into the film because he suddenly remembered Superman was in the movie and he had to do some shit with him too. Snyder doesn't like or understand Superman though. It's blatant and thrown in your face in the dialogue in the movie too, everything from "It's not 1938 so you can't be principled and stand for something anymore" to "Superman was never real", and finally -- and most egregiously, from the mouth of Snyderman himself, hands down the line I hated the most in the film, the scene that made me almost get up in anger -- the part where Snyderman says to Amy Adams: "No one stays good in this world"..... and mopily, sadly flies away to fight Ben Affleck. That line, the delivery, and everything in it is the literal antithesis of Superman in every sense imaginable, and I think probably more than anything sums up best why Snyder doesn't get it. Snyder figuratively killed Superman in Man Of Murder, he literally killed him in BvS in addition to ripping the character apart with every other line of dialogue, references to the shitty Injustice videogame storyline where Superman is a codependent simp who turns evil because Lois Lane is killed (complete opposite of what he did when she died in Kingdom Come), Snyder killed Professor Hamilton, he killed Mercy Graves (who is also terribly miscast as Tao Okamoto -- an anorexic asian chick with hipster glasses -- Snyder does not give a FUCK about the Superman universe), and he killed Jimmy Olsen after replacing him with "Jenny" on the Daily Planet roster in Man Of Murder....and there are still people who think Snyder likes Superman, lol? Wake the fuck up! Snyder can't even be consistent with his own bullshit take on the character: "Superman was never real, it was just the dream of a farmer from Kansas", wrong, Zack, in your version, "Superman" is all holy-space-ghost-papa Jor El's idea, and him telling Clark he is space Jesus and the bridge between worlds is why Clark becomes Superman in your version; it was because he was told to, not because it was a dream of Clark's own, or did you forget that? It's okay though, I don't blame you for not wanting to rewatch Man Of Murder before you made this film, I would not either.

Snyder's Clark is also awful and comes off jealous of Batman. "Batman is sticking his nose in people's shit where it doesn't belong!!" is the summary of why Clark dislikes Batman, meanwhile Snyderman does the same stuff. The bathtub scene with Amy Adams was stupid, chemistry-less, and a cheap way of saying "hey, these two are in a relationship" without ever actually having to develop it. A kiss on top of some dead bodies because it's the last 20 minutes of Man Of Murder and it hadn't happened yet, and suddenly they're moving in together in BvS. And I still say fuck you, Snyder, for removing the red trunks. Guess it's easier to rape the characters without their "underwear" on like I pointed out, eh, Zack?

Also, Martha Kent is a waitress now. I really hated that, just like when they had her working at Sears in Man Of Murder. Guess it's not "hip" and "rebooted" enough if she's a farmer. A "post modern" take on Superman sucks all of the "super" out of the character.

The few decent Superman moments are very small in this movie: Batman punching Superman in the face as the kryptonite gas started wearing off and Batman's reaction as his punches lost their effect was the only really good Superman moment in it. I liked Supes flying Doomsday into space, and I liked the scene where Supes walked into Congress and walked up to Holly Hunter in the hearing...that was cool and felt semi-Superman-ish. I also liked that they referenced Clark's middle name of "Joseph" in the film, but Lex should never have known who he was, especially not without a story explanation, but more on that later....

There's one other moment in the film that seems "Supermanish", and it's at the end, very briefly (if you blink, you'll miss it), where Superman, Batman, and Waifer Woman are standing together, where Supes starts talking about Doomsday with Batman and the two start talking about how they can stop him...I thought to myself "this is nice, this seems like the fucking Justice League, feels like World's Finest.."...it was immediately more interesting than anything else in the film where the two were at odds, it felt right and natural, seeing them work together, and then....poof. It was gone. Lost in a CGI explosion of poorly rendered characters, fire, plotholes, and shitty egyptian techno music. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... BATMAN: Snyder and Warner Butchers clearly like Batman the best and it shows. There's no question that Batman is handled the best of all the heroes in this film. Snyder gets half of the character right.... and then fucks up the other half. Some people didn't like Batman branding people, I was fine with it. Though I'm sure Snyder didn't intend it to be this way, I thought it was a nice callback to Batman's Zorro roots. Zorro would carve a letter "Z" into his victims with a sword...not that different a concept if you think about it. I liked that Bruce Wayne did his own detective shit here, I liked the entrance to the batcave being through a river that opened, and I especially liked the black and gray costume. It also needs the trunks, but there's a moment in the film where Batman gets out of the batmobile and walks up to the batcave computer and the way he looked and moved made me lean over to my friend and say "That looks like fucking Batman!", so I was thrilled to see the most visually accurate Batman in live action since the '89 film. Suit was a little bulky for my tastes and the ears were a bit small, but I understood the look they were going for and can appreciate it.

Now onto the bad stuff: there's a scene where Bruce Wayne goes undercover at some fight club and he's dressed just like Bruce Wayne, it made me laugh because surely, Bruce would have been in a disguise of some sort. Here it was just Affleck in his default Wayne look. Matches Malone would've been cool, but they'd have had to explain that character I suppose (since it's just Wayne with a mustache, which would have been comical without the background on that character), but they jam enough other references into the film and don't bother to explain them, so I'm not sure why they didn't bother with Matches too, but whatever. Where they fuck up with Batman is they make him a hypocritical idiot. He supposedly doesn't like Snyderman because he causes collateral damage, but that's half of what Affeck's Batman does. While I prefer a Batman that doesn't kill because there's a lot more mileage and drama they get out of the character that way when he has stronger morals, I'm fine with a Batman who kills the bad guys, but if that's the case, the Joker should be dead, and so should all of his rogues gallery, really. Going to kill Superman because there's a 1% chance he might be a bad guy and letting known, repetitive, unremorseful killers live is stupid. I don't have a problem with a Batman that kills, '30s Batman killed, Burton's Batman killed, yeah, yeah, I know that, snyderbots, but they only killed BAD GUYS. They didn't leave a metric fuck ton of deadly collateral damage nonchalantly in their wake, which is the problem I have with Batfleck, particularly given his criticism of Snyderman. This Batman just doesn't give a fuck if there's innocent bystanders and they get hurt.... he destroys a boat and a wall that don't need to be destroyed. Snyder didn't want to have his Batman shoot a guy in the head to save Martha.... I don't know why, but instead he wanted him to blow up the guy's flamethrower, causing a massive explosion that would have killed Martha, as he "rescues" her from it... whereas a bullet would have been one clean kill.

I don't really care for Batman with the voice augmentor, either.... I like that they at least showed how it worked though with Alfred testing it. But yeah, Snyder gets certain aspects of Batman right, then shits on them to tell the story he wants to tell. Batman is a detective early on.... but suddenly he can't figure out that Superman is good, something even Alfred knows. He's mad at collateral damage Supes caused in Metropolis, but he causes collateral damage all around Gotham. He makes a kryptonite spear and gas, but....no monkey knuckles, or, ya know, a bullet. Snyder's Batman is basically a moron. But Affleck played the moronic Bats well. Josh Brolin would have been a better old Batman and Bruce Wayne, but they should never have done Bruce as an older man to begin with, he should have been the same age as Supes, you know, like in the comics and Dark Knight Returns, but more on that later. I liked this batmobile better than the tumbler at least.

The fight with Superman being resolved by "Martha" was idiotic. Batman spends months, weeks training and hating Superman, with an in-depth list of reasons why....and suddenly all of that is resolved, all of his suspicions and fears of Superman just float away because their moms have the same name. Sure, the way to Bruce's heart would probably be through his parents, but this was just bullshit inconsistency for even this shitty take on Batman. Affleck gave a fine performance....although I never buy him completely as Bruce Wayne. I still see Ben Affleck. Yes, he's acting and making an effort....but there are scenes where it really feels like you're watching a guy act and not an immersed character in a movie, if that makes sense. Still, he's a better actor than Cavill...which doesn't set the bar very high performance-wise for this film. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... LEX LUTHOR:

Jesse Zuckerberg is a decent actor and gives a good performance in this movie....but not as Lex Luthor. Lex in this movie is the worst live action version of the character ever. Jars of piss and feeding people Jolly Ranchers aren't who Lex Luthor is. This Lex leaves notes for people -- that they don't even get -- signed as someone else to start trouble, he gives jars of piss to people, shoves candy in people's mouths, he has ticks... he's basically like a high school prankster. I fully expect the extended cut of the film to include a scene of him leaving a flaming bag of shit at Wayne Manor and ringing the doorbell before running away, blaming Superman.

Maybe this is what Eisenberg was going for, but his "Lex" was honestly hard to watch in many scenes. Reminded me of Jim Carey's Riddler, maybe Dr Sivana, but he also reminded me of Hector Hammond in the Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern film (which was also hard to watch -- both the film and the Hector Hammond character I mean). I'm not sure what he was going for here....he was almost more like the Joker than Lex in some scenes. They even have him talk about his abusive father as he monologues to Superman like Joker in The Dark Knight, and make remarks at Lois too ("Ooh, you're feisty!" = "Little fight in ya, I like that!"), before throwing her off a building...just like Ledger's Joker threw Maggie Gylenhaal out of a building in The TDK. I know Lex has had abusive parents before in the comics.... but they should have revealed this info in a different way from how it was done with The Joker in TDK.

This Lex was so fay and effete, when the guy he feeds the candy to comes up to him and says "maybe we can help each other", I half thought Lex was going to give him a blowjob when he told him to step into his office. His plan of getting Batman to fight Superman and then Doomsday to destroy everything if it didn't work made no sense. Neither did how he deduced the secret identities of Batman and Superman -- there's zero explanation for it.

As predicted, Jesse Zuckerberg as Lex Luthor is the third worst casting in a superhero film of all time, right after Gall Gagot as Wonder Woman (2), and Ezra Miller as The Flash (1). There is no "Heath Ledger" or "Michael Keaton" "surprise" here, as anyone with a brain could have deduced (and did, like yours truly) the moment he was cast. This Lex also has terrible motivation for hating Superman, if you can even call it motivation at all....he basically hates him because he has powers and only people with knowledge should have powers, or something? Lots of esoteric mumbo jumbo about "gods" and "man" do not a great character make. He actually seemed even less like Lex Luthor to me once his head was shaved: then he just came across as Michael Cera with a shaved head, like some little wimpy kid, mumbling about shit in jail, evoking nothing but pity. "Ding ding ding ding ding" thank God they brought Terrio on board, eh, snyderbots? LOL! What a joke. Jesse Zuckerberg -- as I've said since day one -- would have been a better Riddler, Toyman, or even Dr Sivana or Jimmy Olsen, he was never going to be a good Lex Luthor, he had zero chance. Decent actor, but terribly miscast. A dog cannot play a cat and vice versa. Get it, snyderbots. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. LOIS LANE: Her character sucked in this movie. I've never liked Amy Adams as Lois Lane, she doesn't look like her, and Lois should be closer in age to Clark. Lois should not be a few or several years older than Clark. But then again, everyone's been around before Clark in the snyderverse: Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, etc....so fuck it, Lois may as well be too. Her faux feminist dialogue about how she's "not a woman, but a reporter" were total fucking cringe too. Amy Adams' Lois is the most unlikable Lois ever to appear live action, in my opinion. She's not funny, she's not witty, she's not vulnerable, she's not all that pretty, she's not nosey, she's not playfully competitive... she just sucks. The scene where Supes catches Lois from her perspective was the only good scene with her. Having her save Superman again and again was awful, and so was having her show up wherever the plot needed her to be....like tossing the kryptonite spear, then retrieving it later not knowing it was needed. More on that sloppiness later... .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... PERRY "WHITE": Laurence Fishburne is actually great in this movie. One of the few good actors and good performances in this film. I liked him....not as Perry White, he's totally miscast, Perry's not black, sorry not sorry...everything must be darker in Snyder's world, including Perry White I guess...but I liked Fishburne as an actor in this film being a good actor giving a good performance. It's refreshing to see, especially when the movie's this bad. It helped to get through certain scenes. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ALFRED: Jeremy Irons' Alfred is the best thing in the film, and a better Alfred than Michael Caine, in my opinion. He's funny, he's not preachy, he doesn't always have a speech prepared or fortune cookie advice, he's just the butler doing butler-y and helpful things (even though they *said* he's a "bodyguard", not a "butler" in the snyderverse...thankfully not much of that came through), and I liked that. He even gets a few lines in the film directly from the comics, which only makes him feel more Alfred-y. Only complaint -- which is not even Irons' fault -- is that there's not more of an age distance between he and Affleck. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... WONDER WOMAN: Gall Gagot was every bit as awful as I thought she'd be. Looks like Jeff Goldblum in the face, has a pool cue body, and terrible English speaking and acting skills. Her brown costume also sucked and so did that shitty blairing Egyptian techno music that played whenever she showed up. Her little smile while fighting Doomsday -- supposedly for her life, a force that's so powerful it kills Superman -- was out of place and stupid, a dumb tryhard attempt to remphasize that she's a "warrior" and "strong woman who can take on da boys!" bullshit. Her feminazi dialogue about how bad men are was also heavy handed and fucking sucked. Gall's the second worst casting of all time and she shouldn't have been in the film, neither should her character have been in the film for that matter. Cybore and Aquamariner shouldn't have been in the film, either. Gall Gagot is a terrible actress and can't even speak fluent english. Stupid people and snyderbots who don't know anything about Wonder Woman will think this is great "cuz she not from merikah dah!!!". But what they don't get is that Wonder Woman is a PHYSICALLY PERFECT MAGICAL character and can speak any language of her choice fluently and perfectly, and therefore she would speak English perfectly and without an accent. Secondly, if she WERE to have an accent, it'd be a GREEK one, not an Israeli one, so the moronic snyderbots are even wrong by their own logic. Because it's not really about "realism" or whatever other bullshit they say, it's about changing the characters into the actors to accommodate the shitty casting. They've done it with Lex Luthor and Jesse Zuckerberg quite obviously, likewise with Jason Momariner and the tattoos and Aquaman, but for some reason snyderbots can't see that so clearly with Gall Gagot Wafer Woman....perhaps that's because they have no idea what Wonder Woman is supposed to be like. Fan-fake shits. Also, lack of boobs, ass, hips, and curves is a completely perfect and valid criticism of the person who is supposed to be playing WONDER WOMAN. A sex symbol, a supposed physically perfect woman. Why is it we can have a physically accurate Batman and Superman, but suddenly it's wrong and hateful to hold the person playing Wonder Woman to the same standard? Snyderbots are morons. If the roles were reversed they'd have someone like DJ Qualls as Superman.

Gall Gagot shouldn't be playing Wonder Woman because she doesn't look or talk like her, and cannot. Wonder Woman is physically perfect, has blue eyes, boobs, hips, ass, is athletic, etc. Gall Gagot is a pool cue. Gall Gagot looks like Jeff Goldblum in the face. Gall Gagot has the English speaking and acting skills of a paper bag. Wonder Woman can speak any language of her choosing fluently and perfectly because she is magical, therefore she would not have an Israeli accent. If she had an accent at all, she would have a Greek one since she is based in Greek mythology, not an Israeli one. The Wonder Woman costume is iconic. The stars on the suit look great. America did not invent stars, nor does it have ownership of them, or the colors blue, red, white, and yellow. It's entirely possible a magical ancient civilization like Wonder Woman's may have had these colors and stars long before america did, therefore there is no reason to get rid of the stars on her uniform because she's not from America. She could also still be an ambassador to the country and deliberately choose her outfit for those reasons....removing the stars on Wonder Woman's suit removes an element of her iconography because america hating pussified cuckolds are in control of the characters. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with what does and does not make sense for the characters, because having stars made as much sense as anything else about the character. Ask yourselves two questions, snyderbots:

- Do you like the characters? - Do you think there's anything wrong with them? If you answered "yes" to either of those questions, then why do you support such shitty representations of them on screen? .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... THE FLASH: Ezra Miller looked just like Gall Gagot in the film, and he also looked just like Ezra Fairy Allen Miller: long dark hair, asian androgynous looking face, facial hair, and looked nothing like any version of The Flash. Also sounded like a Bizarro James Franco when he spoke. Him saving Zack Snyder the cameo convenience store clerk (who's he think he is, Stan Lee?) from a robbery in the crappy email footage was fitting in that the two worst things about the snyderverse should of course share a scene together. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... DOOMSDAY: Doomsday's look was disappointing, but still looked more like Doomsday than Snyder's Aquaman looked like Aquaman, Flash looked like Flash, Wonder Woman looked like Wonder Woman, and Lex looked like Lex, so I can't fault him much visually. However, breathing fire and sending off nuclear pulses was fucking lame. Just keep him a big monster that fucks shit up. His origin in the film was pretty dumb though: Snyder has Lex cut himself over Zod's dead body in some alien fluid and wammo, this makes Doomsday. It comes off as more "voodoo" than science, but whatever. Thought it would have been cool to show Lex creating Doomsday in a lab somewhere, gradually over time, this just seemed like there wasn't much though put into it, but whatever. People will say "They're aliens, so who knows how their tech works?"...I'll say that's true, but this just seemed lazy and stupid. I was fine with Doomsday being the big bad since I consider him a throwaway character with no personality and he's basically just a thing to punch, so it didn't bum me out that we didn't see him on Krypton and all that, I would have been fine if they handled him as a Cadmus creation like in the Bruce Timm Justice League cartoons, but the way they brought him about in the film was just stupid. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... THE STORY: It's dumb. ALL FLASHBACKS AND DREAM SEQUENCES SHOULD HAVE BEEN CUT FROM THE MOVIE. The entire flashback sequence with young meterosexual haircut Bruce Wayne falling down a hole and witnessing his parents' murder in slow-mo should have been cut out of the beginning of the film entirely, if it were in the film at all it should have been a flashback when Bruce is brooding in the cave later on in the film. They should never have opened with it, and then went to another flashback on top of it. All of the dream sequences for Batman that teased Darkseid, where Snyderman Temple Of Doom heart-grabs Batman (since Supes can only become evil in the snyderverse) should have been left out of the film. They should have just tried to focus on Batman and Superman and doing a strong character piece instead of setting up yet another movie when they can't even set this film up right. Superman just became Superman and they kill him in his second movie. They also kill Clark Kent -- why? Just more effort and ludicrousness if they choose to bring Clark back too -- it was utterly pointless to kill him, but then again, Snyder hates the Clark Kent element of the character so maybe Clark won't return at all. Also, if Superman can come back and he was stabbed in the heart, why couldn't Zod? He only had his neck snapped.

Why not give Wonder Woman the kryptonite spear (she's good with ancient weapons, right, after all, she's even got a friggin' sword and shield!) and have Superman push Doomsday onto it? If they'd have talked to Batman, perhaps they could have come up with a pla-- oh wait, this Batman is an idiot in this version, nevermind.

Batman hides under a piece of building to avoid Doomsday's nuclear blast, meanwhile buildings all around him are destroyed by it. The flashback scene at the beginning of the film would have been enough motivation to show why Batman is concerned about Snyderman, the film should have opened with that and left it that way instead of doing the origin yet again and pointless dream sequences to show why Batman hates him.

Amidst the 9/11 imagery (again), the Metropolis flashback from the perspective of the people was cool, particularly when we see Superman get knocked into a building from their point of view, but the world's being destroyed by a giant dubstep weapon literally right outside a building window, and Bruce Wayne has to call the guy who works there to tell him to evacuate the building before anyone has the good sense to get out. This was moronic. (Also, even with its retcon of the Man Of Murder ending, BvS only re-emphasized what was already obvious from Man Of Murder: METROPOLIS WAS NOT EVACUATED AND THERE WERE MANY PEOPLE THERE WHEN SNYDERMAN FOUGHT ZOD, just for the snyderbots keeping score ;) )

Snyderman is blamed for killing terorists....who were obviously killed with machine guns. Do they really think he'd grab a machine gun and just shoot them when he can snap their necks and push them through walls? Maybe they just think Snyderman is that hardcore...I don't know, but the logic and reasoning behind this was stupid.

Also, CONGRESS is destroyed. A fucking bomb goes off, and that's the last we hear of it. It's never brought up again in the film.

You can't copy and paste parts of Dark Knight Returns into this story because there's nothing else from it to go along with it: you can't do a DKR style Batman that's an old man with a history but a young rookie Superman with no history, and the two just met so they have no history with each other, and therefore no DKR conflict, as their history, the fact that they'd both lived as long as each other and lived through the same events and dealt with them differently, is the driving force behind their conflict in DKR.... BvS has none of that. But Snyder doesn't give a shit, he just copies and pastes all of the Dark Knight Returns Batman shit that he liked into the movie and hoped the rest would contort around it, continuity he established in MOS where Supes was supposedly the first ever DC hero be damned. Now we got Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and pretty much everyone else older and around longer than Supes. The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg should never been in the film, and their cameo placement is handled in the most lazy, shoehorned, uncreative manner, at the most inappropriate time in the film. We get what is essentially little teaser trailers for each of the characters that had everything but a release date sticker attached to it, right as we're about to finally see Batman and Superman fight, the thing the entire movie was supposedly built around, that everyone bought a ticket for, they have a 6 minute interruption of Gall Gagot opening emails right as the fight is about to happen. Also, imagine if you're a kid watching these email videos and don't know who the characters are (why would you? They're unrecognizable). They're all scary and unlikable: Zack Snyer being rescued by a man that looks like a woman with a ponytail and beard in a convenience store robbery, a klingon with glowing white eyes in the water, a black guy's head and chest strapped to a board screaming at the camera....if you were a kid, you were probably like "WTF is this?". It's uncomfortable and there's no excitement to it...it's just scary looking people screaming at shit.

The film is full of bad pacing, bad editing, and inconsistency, it's just a series of scenes happening again with no flow or harmony to them. What little energy the fight between Batman and Superman had leading up to it is dissolved by the inappropriate placement of the email scene, which takes you out of the movie. Even when Superman lands to fight Batman, his attitude and mannerisms seem absolutely different from the last moment we saw him. The tone is off...and it feels phony. Cavill's acting in the scene is terrible "Stop...ugh...You don't understand!"...sounded like a sound bite from a videogame. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... EASTER EGGS/VISUAL REFERENCES: Dark Knight Returns, Batman punching through a wall saying "I believe you", Batman standing on something high with a rifle, Batman jumping with his arm stretched in the air, Knightmare Batnan, The Man-Bat in the Wayne's tomb during another dream sequence (with VENOM leaking out of it, LOL), Superman looking zombie like after a nuke, Superman floating in space and opening his eyes to reveal heat vision like in Injustice, Superman falling a certain way to look like his Death Of Superman comic pose after Doomsday kills him, the silver "S" shield on the black coffin, Flash showing up to warn Batman about something like in Crisis On Infinite Earths, it was cool to see a Parademon (they looked good), I got all of the visual references to the comics, and I appreciated them and thought they were cool. They helped me -- a comics fan -- get through an otherwise unbearable film. Unfortunately they mean nothing to the general audience and non comic book people who just came in the hopes of a good movie, they also do nothing for the story. I think it's great that Zack Snyder vaguely seemingly understands the picture parts of the comic books, but he doesn't understand any of the characters, motivations, or stories, and therein lies the problem, since it makes everything else meaningless. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... THE SCORE: It's terrible. Un-hummable, unmemorable....it will not stand the test of time like anything John Williams, Danny Elfman, or Shirley Walker have done. It's quite generic, just boring, droll background music, and at the same time bombastic and loud. Hans Zimmer retiring from doing superhero films is one of the best things to come out of this movie. He can take Junkie XL with him for that matter. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... And that about sums up most of my thoughts on the film. It's a long read, jumbled and chaotic (not unlike the film), so I apologize, and I'm sure I probably left some stuff out which I'll kick myself later for, but what do you think? What were your thoughts on the film?

#batma #superman #zack snyder #justice league #jl #dc comics #justice league unlimited #batman v supeman: dawn of justice #batman v superman #wonder woman #the flash

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