#/ hadn't updated this stupid thing in so long so it returns

[teruel-a-witch]

as i'm waiting for my new tablet to arrive i'm reminded why i don't shop online ever and hate paying in advance for something i haven't been able to hold in my hands yet.

it's starting to seem like it won't arrive before my birthday tomorrow so i am officially livid. i specifically picked a store that wasn't far away and promised delivery on the 28 at the earliest but it looked like they only shipped it on the 28th judging by the status 😒 the one time I order a gadget online instead of going directly to a store and this happens. birthday officially ruined.

[missallanea-archive]

that's right, it's the return of the ever stupid, not-so-brief, utterly useless guide to the many, many muses on this blog:

UPDATED VERSION ( 10/07/23 )

AGNES DRACHINA REUBEN. first born daughter of the royal house of drachium. powerful sorceress who made a name for herself during the dragon campaign. a mischevious young woman with a penchant for drinking and getting into trouble.

AMITY BLIGHT. youngest daughter of the blight family. a young witch in training with a particular gift for abomination magic. former mean girl who is reconnecting with her softer side. a ride or die friend who will absolutely fight for you.

ASHIOK. a powerful planeswalker of mysterious origin. their face seems to be slowly disappearing into a thick black mist that follows them. manipulates the nightmares of powerful individuals they find during their travels. not necessarily a villain, but certainly no hero.

BABYDOLL. institutionalized against her will. sweet girl but will not hesitate to end you if you're a creep. sincerely wishes to empower the other women around her. slowly losing herself to fantasy in order to escape from her unpleasant reality.

CAMERON "CAMMIE" MACCLOUD. a self-proclaimed "hacktivist" recruited into the military. now part of the experimental science unit, piloting a four story mech called a holon through gen:lock, which uploads her own mind into the robot. scottish, sassy, and a giant nerd.

CATIANA FREESPARK. swashbuckler rogue turned storm cleric. she's confused about how that happened too. died fairly recently, but she got better. will steal your shit. highkey feels like the divorce baby between procan and umberlee. 

CHROME DOKURO. a powerful illusionist currently in the employ of the vongola mafia family. occasionally shares her body with the criminal mukuro rokudo. learning to stand on her own two feet. a bit of a strange girl, but sweet and undyingly loyal.

EDALYN "EDA" CLAWTHORNE. the owl lady and most powerful witch on the boiling isles... or she was, before her curse took away her powers. occasionally turns into a large owl-like beast. keeps accidentally adopting kids but hey, guess she's a mom now. acts tough but actually a big softie.

FISH EYE. a fish given human form. yes, really. in search of a beautiful dream. performs as part of a circus troupe known as the amazon trio. really just wants to have a beautiful dream of his own and to live life as a human for as long as possible.

FREYA. the once queen of asgard and leader of the valkyries. reclaimed her warrior spirit and found her wings. seeking to reunite and repair the realms following ragnarök. not a woman to scorn, or she will burn you to the ground and salt the earth behind her.

IMELDA RIVERA. matriarch of the rivera family. turned to shoemaking to make money for herself and her daughter after her husband disappeared. continues to look after her family from the land of the remembered.

KAGAMI TSURUGI. a recent transplant to paris from japan. loves fencing and being right. she can be a bit cold upon first meeting but she's actually just very bad at making friends. if you take the time to get to know her, she is fiercely loyal and dedicated and will fight for you.

LA MUERTE. the sugary sweet ruler of the land of the remembered. has a nasty gambling habit which tends to get her and her husband into trouble. she is benevolent, but will not hesitate to tell you what she really thinks. friendly, but still a goddess. handle with caution.

LIAN NICHANG. the white haired demoness. lives alone on a mountain. really only comes down to get rid of people who are harassing the village at the base of the mountain that leaves her the fuck alone. master swordsman. not actually a witch or a demon, no matter what people call her. 

LILITH CLAWTHORNE. once the head witch of the emperor's coven, now at half-power and trying to sort her life out. cursed her sister out of spite and paid the price. might come across as a haughty bitch, but she's really just a massive nerd doing her best.

LUNA. magical moon cat. has a crescent moon bald spot on her forehead. trying to keep the protectors of the universe on track but they're just teenage girls so it goes about as well as you would expect. really tired of being the voice of reason but this is what she signed up for. 

LUNASOL GALANODEL. honestly, the worst. burned down her abusive childhood home with her twin brother. basically sold her soul to the queen of air and darkness. pretends to be sweet but she is cruel and cold. typical elvish attitude toward other races, too. really, really likes flowers.

MAXIMILIAN CALYPSE. a small, stuttering lady of noble birth. married off to keep her father from having to go to war against dragons. considers herself to be useless and has a good deal of anxiety, but is generally one of the sweetest nobles you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. currently learning to use healing magic.

MICHIRU KAIOU. the soldier of deep waters, sailor neptune. a high school student with a mysterious destiny. spends her free time as a professional violinist. desperately wishes to embrace the ordinary life of a girl her age.

MIYU. vampire who tried to run from her destiny and made it worse. has to hunt down god-demons called shinma that she accidentally let escape. literally cannot die until she finishes her job, and she would very much like it to be over now. usually accompanied by her mask wearing servant, larva. she's cute and cruel in equal parts.

NATHALIE SANCOEUR. for fuck's sake she needs a vacation. and a raise. personal assistant to a supervillain. seriously questioning that relationship at this point. literally dying. trying to beat the current record holder for most akumatizations. she's pretty and could kick my ass. 

PERSEPHONE. our lady of the underground. literal goddess. known for bringing springtime and overseeing torture in the deepest depths of tartarus. the mom friend, she probably already loves you. does not put up with her husband’s bullshit. really loves her weird dog.

PIKE TRICKFOOT. gnome cleric of the everlight. she may be a holy woman but she has the spirit of a barbarian. will definitely try to drink you under the table. overestimates her own strength, but loves to surprise others when they doubt her. precious angel baby.

REINA "GLITCH" CROWNE. student at a prestigious art school with a focus on fashion design. acts like she's tough and untouchable, but she's actually just soft and trying to figure out who she is. loves meshing traditional fashion with digital media. known to the other students as "glitch" due to her first year freeze up.

RIZA HAWKEYE. military sharpshooter and right-hand-woman of the guy who wants to take over the military. likes like two people and her dog. usually smells like gun oil but it's not unpleasant. has no sense of self-preservation and will definitely die for the people she cares about. does not get paid enough. 

ROGUE. the poster child for "look don't touch." mutant and working on the proud part. literally too powerful for her own good. comes with the added bonus of her cajun husband who makes things explode by touching them. the og power couple. 

SIF. the unwaveringly loyal wife of thor, mother to magni, móði, and thrúd. trying desperately to hold what remains of her family together. can come across as somewhat cold. while not a warrior by any means, she will do anything to protect her children.

TABITHA DELAINE. monster hunter and general know-it-all. was part of a cult at one point but she doesn't want to talk about it. lowkey a witch but tries to use her magic sparingly. the biggest lesbian you will ever meet, next to her girlfriend van. lives in van's van. 

TIKKI. kwami of the miraculous of creation. has existed for as long as the universe has. sincerely loves humans and how wonderful they can be. helps to turn her current owner into the superhero known as ladybug.

VEX'AHLIA. ranger and rogue. sneaky and shooty. just trying not to die again, thank you very much. once stabbed a tree because it made moves on her. the champion of a god. will probably call you darling and wink at you. also, she has a bear named trinket and a husband with too many names for me to bother listing here.

( I ran out of images but she has no fc anyway shhh )

YILNA PENUMBRAE. oath of redemption paladin. a young shadar-kai woman banished from the shadowfell due to her heresy against the raven queen. while she looks scary given her build, scratched and dented armor, and scars, she is actually just a big buff cupcake. a big softie.

[covetyou]

stupid cupid

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: oral sex (f receiving), unprotected P in V, a few ass slaps, sex toys (butt plug and a dp dildo), anal play, anal sex (with a dildo), double penetration, creampie, vague fluff and emerging feelings (gross), the wings stay ON. word count: 5.2k summary: Joel makes a return to your home, this time with another gift to give. Will you be his Valentine?

A/N: he's here. he's back. baubles joel, big bawl joel, the holiday king himself. and yes, yet again something that probably shouldn't be a series is becoming a loose-fit series because I just can't quit.

I guess you can all be my Valentine's if you'd like and we can smooch and hold hands and stuff, idk (I love you 💛) gorgeous V day divider by @saradika-graphics

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You didn't expect to scream the moment you entered your bedroom after a long day at work.

Of course, you had wanted to scream all day. First, when you spent the morning fighting with a piece of software that just did not want to work. Then, when you watched your colleagues trickle out of the building well before 5pm, all on their way to romantic dates, while you were stuck in your seat making up for your - and their - lost time this morning. And when you finally stumbled from the building at 8pm, only to sit in traffic for another fucking hour? You may just have let a furious squeal escape your throat as you gripped the steering wheel.

As you finally pulled into your driveway, the only things on your mind were a hot shower and takeout food.

The first part had gone without a hitch. Mostly.

Stripping off your work clothes before you'd even got to the bathroom, you hadn't noticed a single thing different about your home. As you tossed your clothes into the hamper, nothing was amiss. Stepping under the hot stream of water, you felt totally at peace for the first time that day. There was a kind of serenity to be found in your own bathroom that didn't exist anywhere else. No, nothing was unusual at all.

And then you'd loosely wrapped a towel around you, not bothering to dry yourself, and crossed the short distance across the hall to your bedroom. You weren't to know you never closed the door this morning when you left - that was 14 hours ago, afterall. Sunset had long since been and gone, so how were you to see anything, or anyone, where it shouldn't be until you sleepily flicked the light on after closing the door behind you.

So, naturally, when your brain finally registered DANGER - INTRUDER you screamed, almost dropping your towel in the process.

And that's where you still are, locked to the spot, fight or flight truly fucking off from your mind entirely, as you stare straight ahead.

There's a man on your bed. A very familiar man. His hulking figure splayed across it like some kind of fucking renaissance painting, naked as the day he was born, except for the fairy wings strapped to his back with elastic and... is that a bow and arrow? And a pacifier?

"Santa Joel?"

Joel rolls his eyes, pulling the pacifier from his mouth with a pop.

"I ain't Santa. Does this look like Santa to you?" he says, with a sweeping broad gesture down his body. He decidedly does not look like Santa. You're not sure what he looks like, and you're not sure you care when you can't help but notice he's at half mast already. Dragging your eyes from his crotch, you look at his face, somehow sweet and angelic even with his dick out.

"Okay, well... what are you?"

Looking at you in disbelief, he slaps the pacifier down onto the bed before swinging his legs over the edge to sit upright. Only, now you're not so sure it's a pacifier. It looks like a - but why was he sucking on it?

"Ain't it Valentine's Day? I'm Cupid, stupid."

"Cupid Joel?"

"Cupid Joel. It really that difficult to work out?" With a lopsided grin he picks up the bow, miming shooting you, before resting his elbows on his knees. The soft trickle of water down your body feels more and more like you're melting by the second. A practical stranger like Joel shouldn't have been able to do this to you the first time, but the fact he was here again, charming and suave, despite the nudity and criminal activity, told you all you needed to know. You were painfully and woefully attracted to him and you would do just about anything to have a night with him again.

"Well, Cupid Joel, you broke into my house. Again."

He ignores you, lounging back on your bed and spreading his knees wide, picking up the - yep, that's definitely a butt plug - again and sucking it into his mouth. Removing it with a flourish, he looks you up and down, a question in his eyes before looking to his own cock, now much harder than it was a moment ago.

"Different guy, you said that was Santa Joel." You can see him holding back a laugh, and you'd be tempted to wipe the smirk from his face if you weren't rooted to the spot. "Anyway, that guy told me he didn't see any pictures when he was here, guessed you didn't have a Valentine. Figure everyone deserves some lovin' on the big day," he says with a shrug and a quirk of his mouth. "So, here I am. Your very own Cupid, if you'll have me, 'course. Don't gotta stay, I can leave if you want me to."

You didn't want him to leave. He'd broken into your house again, and you were exhausted, but seeing him lie there, naked in your bed with the evidence of his little dress up game strewn around him, stirred things in you. If he was willing to give you some lovin' then who were you to turn that down. You're only human, after all, and it is Valentine's Day.

So, you do the only logical thing in that moment and drop your towel without another thought.

"'Atta girl," Joel chuckles patting the bed beside him. "C'mere, got you a present."

Incredible, if slightly strange, sex with a stranger, and he bought you a present? Suddenly the day isn't feeling quite as shit as it was an hour ago, and damp and naked, you approach your bed. You're close enough to him now that you can smell him again, that soft oaky smell throwing you back to the twinkling lights of Christmas Eve. You didn't know any more about him now than you did that night, really. Though, truth be told, you hadn't tried too hard to find him. You had a good time, and the soft lit fantasy of Santa Joel was something you enjoyed exactly as it was. Unveil the man, and you threatened to ruin that fantasy. But a night with Cupid Joel? That could be a new fantasy altogether.

"S'not Christmas any more, don't remember ever having to sit on Cupid's knee to get a Valentine," you murmur, sitting back on your heels as Joel's large hand slides up your thigh. You watch as it moves from your knee to your hip and back again, fingers gently teasing your sensitive inner thigh on the way down. The only hands that had touched you since Christmas were your own, though you had spent night after night imagining his all over you. You were starting to think you'd fallen asleep at the wheel and this was all some wonderful stress dream.

But then he presses a soft kiss to your knee, the scratch of his facial hair rubbing just enough to let you know this is all very, very real and you'd very much like more of it.

"Ain't gonna make you sit on my knee for it. Might want you to sit on somethin' else though."

You laugh, rolling your eyes. "Real smooth, Cupid."

And then he's smiling up at you as he leans forward to kiss your thigh, then your belly, pushing you back with one large hand until you're laying beneath him, spread bare and open as he makes his way back down to your thighs.

It's so easy to get lost in it. The soft scratch of the scruff on his chin, rough fingertips moving gently across your thighs, soft lips pressing and sucking delicately on you, catching the last specks of water from your skin with each pass of his mouth. Your eyes drift closed just as his breath ghosts across your mound, another soft kiss soon following, and another, and another.

Until, blissfully, his soft mouth connects with your clit, tongue peaking out to swipe across the sensitive bud. It had been so long since anyone had gone down on you, long before you made the move to Texas last year, you'd almost forgotten what it felt like. Stuttering for a while, you're about to feebly mumble how good it feels, but all thoughts grind to a halt when he sucks your clit into his mouth, moaning before softly releasing. You had never had a man moan eating your cunt before, and now here you were, fairly certain angels were real and you'd gone to heaven, taken there by Cupid Joel and his wings.

"You always this late home, or did you have a date that went to shit?" he mumbles around your clit. It's a small sneaky way that he asks, wanting clarification on something he was almost certain of but you had yet to confirm. There were no pictures in your house, but that didn't mean there wasn't anyone in the picture.

Shaking your head, you gasp out a response. "Work - work went to shit. Ohh."

"Bad day?"

"Yeah, it - fuck, Joel."

It's then that you take your first opportunity to look down and see him between your legs. His hair looks even fluffier, his hands pushing your thighs open while his fingers pull you apart at the seams. His eyes closed, lashes fanned against his cheek, tongue softly lapping against your center, gusts of his hot breath billowing against your mound. He's beautiful.

And he's still in the fucking fairy wings.

A laugh primes itself, ready to explode out of you, but another firm lick sends you reeling, head hitting the mattress with a thud. Whatever he's doing to you, whatever this fucking day has done to you, you're going to come, and fast.

"Cu-Cupid Joel. Don't fucking stop."

Joel stops mid-lick, earning a frustrated moan from you, eyes widening from where he looks up between your thighs. "Already?" he asks in disbelief, noticing how quickly your legs and cunt have started to twitch.

"Stupid fucking cupid, don't stop, please."

His mouth finds your clit again and he's devouring you, lapping quickly against your cunt as your squirm into him, hips rocking your cunt against his tongue. Another day you'll wonder if it was his tongue or your movement that got you there, but right now all you know is the thick syrupy feeling in your veins as an orgasm quickly rockets through you, a strangled moan leaving your throat as you fist your sheets in your hands. You've muffled him, your thighs clamping around his head as he pushes further forward, tongue buried in your folds until you can't take it any more and you're desperately pulling away from him.

When you release your grip on his head, he gasps, cursing into the plushness of your thighs. Sitting up, he looks down at you, the bedroom light illuminating him from behind, making the wings glow on his back like your very own heavenly creature.

"Wanna see your present now?"

The fog in your head has barely cleared, your ears still fuzzy as you take in his words. Somehow a tongue on your pussy wasn't your Valentine's gift from Cupid?

"Wha - that wasn't it?"

"Nope."

"Is that it," you say, letting a thread of hope feed into your voice while you nod to where his cock hangs heavy between his legs.

"Not exactly, but you can have that too if you want it, darlin'."

You don't know what you expect, but Joel reaches over and picks the butt plug from where he'd discarded it on your bed earlier, and holds it out to you.

"Don't know if you're into it but," he holds the plug out to you, base first. The pink glass looks so delicate in his fingers, and it takes a twist of his hand for you to see it, but the heart shaped base of the plug soon becomes clear to you, brain foggy as it is, and you laugh, the sound bubbling out of your lips as your head tips back, laughing so hard you can feel your tits shake.

"You had that in your mouth."

Joel shrugs. "Better now than after it's been in your ass."

"Why're you so sure it's goin' into my ass?"

Got him, flashes through your mind when you watch his face drop. You don't let him suffer for long.

"I'm fucking with you. You're tellin' me you broke into my house but didn't go through my shit? I got three in the drawer over there."

"Three?!" he says in faux shock, rolling you over onto your front and grabbing at your ass cheeks. He pulls them apart, the cool glass in his hand pushing into your cheek as he tugs you open.

You shriek, swatting behind you as you laugh again. "Joel- what the fuck are you doing!?"

"Checkin' where you keep these three assholes."

"I'm lookin' at one asshole right now."

Now it's his turn to laugh, a deep rich sound that has your toes curling and your pulse sky rocketing, pulling you out of it with a gasp when he slaps a hand down on your ass only to watch it ripple with the impact.

"So, do you want it in?"

"Mhm, I have lube in the bedside table."

A rummage later, you wait, kicking your feet in the air, resting your chin in the cup of your palm. When he turns again, he sees you waving your ass from side to side, ready for him. Slick is coating your pussy, your upper thighs glossy with it too.

"That a present all for me?"

Pulling your cheeks apart again, he kisses each one, lightly nipping on the soft flesh as he does. And then, without much warning, he burries his tongue between your spread legs, licking a thick stripe from your clit to your asshole, groaning with every lick over your tight ring. Fisting the sheets, you press your face into the mattress. If he's going to keep doing this before he even fucks you, you're going to come again and fall asleep before he can get inside you.

"I thought this was a present for me, you're acting mighty excited back there."

"It is. Never said I wouldn't get anythin' outta it though."

A cool trickle of lube drizzles into your crack, quickly spread by Joel's large finger. He teases for a moment, circling your tight hole a little before gently pushing in.

"Fuck."

Moaning in agreement, you almost speak to agree, but then his finger is gently fucking your asshole and all words fail you. Coming just a moment ago did nothing to stop the need you had for this man, the feeling in your core growing tenfold as each moment passed.

"Fuck, Joel, put it in my ass and fuck me already."

The strangled noise from behind you startles you, and you look back for a second to see Joel's eyes pinched together and his head thrown back as his hand grips tightly around the base of his cock, wings falling forward over his shoulders as he desperately tries to relax himself.

"You can't say shit like that to me, darlin'."

"Then stick it in me, stupid."

Fingers slick with lube, he strokes the plug, before sliding the cold tip across your hole.

"Wanted go slow. Wanna watch you take it."

With a soft push, he presses the tip forward, watching as your hole accepts the cold tip with ease. This was always something you loved, even playing with your plugs by yourself when the feeling took you. It had been too long since anyone else had played with your ass, and you can't say you were too mad about Joel being the first to touch you there in so long.

The stretch is soft, and soon the bulb of the head pushes past your tight ring, making Joel hiss behind you as he watches you take it. He fucks you with it once, then twice, before pushing firmly, letting your ass take the entire length of the plug. Twisting it, he sits the heart upright, before leaning forward to kiss it. It's not often you get a man's face buried in your ass so, figuring it's karmic justice for the species, you push back into him, holding back a laugh when a small oomph escapes his lips when your ass collides with his face.

"Gonna tell Santa Joel you did that. No nice list for you."

"Then if I'm already on the naughty list, fuck me already. You promised me lovin'."

Wiggling your ass, you arch your back to expose your pussy to him even more. He hasn't so much as put a finger in you yet, and part of you is glad for it. You want to feel his cock pull you apart as it fills you, pushing past the ridge of the plug lodged in your ass. You want to feel stretched and full and ruined.

Joel seems to be on the same page, shuffling forward, dick in hand, sliding the tip through your slick folds. Catching on your entrance, he runs the tip of his dick across the plug where it's nestled inside you before pushing down, slipping into your empty hole.

And fuck is it tight. If it feels this good for you, the half-filled and stretched wide feeling of his cock in one hole and the plug in the other, you wonder how it must feel on his dick. You're wet, dripping really, soaking his cock and letting him in with ease, but there's the solid lump of the plug dragging along the top side of his cock as he pushes in.

Deciding he's going too fucking slow, too tentative when all you want is to be filled, you push back. In one swift rock you take him to the root, gasping and hitting the bed with your fists as he bottoms out, his own fingers digging into you flesh harshly.

"Sh-fuck, fuck."

Stopping, you almost pull away, worried you might have hurt him, but his grip stops you. Before you can turn or question him, he's pulling back, slamming in hard again, groaning when you take him completely.

If Santa Joel destroyed you, Cupid Joel is going to wreck you entirely. And you welcome it.

He's fucking you steadily in no time, relishing in the sound of your moans getting higher and higher in pitch with each pound.

Your knees buckle first, planting you face first in your sheets. Joel tries to pull you up, but his own knees are slipping, dragged down by the grip of your cunt on his cock. Giving in, he crowds over you, pumping deep into you despite the tangle of limbs you've become in the last few seconds. Somewhere in the scuffle you've kicked the bow and arrow, listening as they clatter to the floor just as tangled as the two of you are.

He's warm, and sweaty, and heavy above you, holding just enough of his weight on his elbows to let you breathe. Making a few more shallow thrusts, he suddenly stills, nose breathing deep into your hair.

"Shit. Can't come yet. I got one more surprise for you," he pants into your ear, offering you a soft kiss to your shoulder before his weight shifts.

You want to grab him and hold him to you, beg him to come in you already, but he has other ideas and he's pulling out before you can grab him. "Ugh."

"Gimme a sec," he grunts from behind you. "Can't - hmfph - get it over - god damn it - my balls. There. Got it. Snug but, damn, look at that."

Looking behind you, you watch as he sways from side to side, looking down where his cock bobs between his legs. He's mesmerized, and soon so are you.

He's strapped another cock just below his own, the tapered black dildo just shorter than he is. It sits flush to his full balls, anchored to them by a thick ring, another wrapped around his length. Even with the sounds of his struggle, you're amazed he got it on so quickly.

"Don't have to take both but," and he shrugs - fucking shrugs all coy and uncertain as if he hasn't reached into the depths of your brain and pulled out your most desperate fantasy of taking two cocks at once.

"Didn't wanna spook you, but given you like gettin' your asshole played with," he says with a press to the plug still sat in your ass. "Worth finding out if you're into ass fuckin' too."

You were. Fuck yes, you were. You had your own collection of toys and plugs for a reason, but it had been a criminally long time since anyone had really fucked you there. Other than Joel, it had been a criminally long time since anyone had fucked you anywhere.

"If I say yes, what else are you gonna pull out from back there? You got a bag of tricks around here somewhere."

Joel gives you a toothy grin, stroking his hand over his slicked cock before sliding two fingers straight into you. "Tool bag is downstairs, but ain't got anythin' in there I'd like to put in here darlin', don't worry."

Fingers slipping slick and wet inside you, pressing firmly upward with help of the plug still lodged in your ass, you're rendered speechless again. Reaching out for him you hold his hand in place, fucking yourself on his fingers for a moment before reaching further toward him.

Joel gasps when your hand gently cups around his balls, the thick rings of the toy strapped around them making them seem even fuller with the press of the dildo into them. You roll reach one beneath your fingers, catching the dark look in his eyes.

"You like 'em, huh? Know you liked havin' 'em in here."

"Fuck. Thought about it so much since. Dreamed of you coming back to fuck me with them again."

"Tsk, ain't disappointing you, am I?"

"Joel, you have two cocks and you're threatening me with a good time. You couldn't disappoint me right now even if you tried. And you broke into my house. Again. Now, if you don't fuck my ass with either of the cocks you have there soon I'm going to do it myself," you say, fingers stilling on his balls, before you think again and add, "Please."

"Since you asked so nicely, sweetheart. C'mon now, lemme take this out. Can put it back in this needy hole after. That's it."

It's surreal, looking up at him as he gently tugs the plug out of your ass, offering you sweet murmurs of encouragement. You know nothing about him, save for his first name and penchant for dress up games. And yet, the desire you have for him is steadily creeping upward as time ticks on. Truthfully, you didn't even really remember what he looked like when you thought about him, fingers toying with your clit as you came to memories of Christmas eve. Low light and mind melting orgasms will do that to you. All you knew was his voice and the soft filthy way he fucked you. Now, getting a proper look at him without the shield of twinkling lights and that red jacket, you can truly appreciate him. He's fit, though you suspect he's never stepped foot in a gym a day in his life. He's soft too, in the way that strong sturdy things are soft. You want nothing more than to pull him into you, to press his softness against your own as he ruts into your holes, but that's decidedly not what this is. Whatever this is, between the mild crime and fucking, it isn't that sort of soft sweet thing.

You don't know how he's going to do it, which cock is going to take which hole, but you decide you don't care when he's leaning over you to press a soft kiss to your lips. When your legs wrap around him of their own accord it's all but decided, and he takes his cock in hand - his real one - and lines up with your dripping slit, pushing in slightly before fumbling below for the other. It takes a moment - the lubed up dildo slipping from his grasp as he huffs and tries, but fails, to slot it against you. Briefly tangling your fingers with his, you take over, positioning the toy at your ass, feeling it slip in a little already as he grinds his hips forward, desperate to be balls deep in you again. With both cocks poised and ready you moan, quivering and clamping your eyes shut at merely the thought of being fucked in both holes at once.

With one more press forward, Joel slides in, the glide of lube easing the dildo into your ass as his cock reclaims its place inside your pussy.

And fuck, you have never been so full, and Joel has never fucked something so damn tight. The space his cock would normally make is taken up by the dildo, fighting for position inside of you as he rocks gently, sliding in and out of you with gradually deeper movements. The deeper he presses, the more desperate your moans become, and you catch the hesitation in his face before he can move.

"Don't you fuckin' dare stop."

This time he doesn't, wordlessly pushing into you and filling both your holes to the brim as sweat trickles down his face. You want to lick it off him, to sink your nails into his back, wings be damned, to lick the salt from his skin and bite down into the the firm flesh at his neck. But the only thing you can do before he's fucking you in earnest is grab hold, careful to avoid snapping the elastic of his wings against his shoulders as he pounds forward. There's no candlelight and rose petals here, just the raw sound of skin slapping against skin, grunts heaving into the air as you pull yourselves into each other.

"Tell me how it feels," you rasp into his ear, watching the flap of wings over his shoulder. "Tell me how it feels fucking me with both of your cocks."

"Oh, shit, it's good. So good, baby. Someone's definitely goin' on the naughty list next Christmas. You likin' this? You likin' being fucked in both holes?"

A frantic nod is all you can manage as he starts hitting a spot in you you didn't know existed, building pressure in your cunt like never before.

"I know. You're just so full, ain't you. Take two dicks so well. Pulling me in so good."

Hoisting your legs over Joel's hips, you grip around him, a loud moan bursting out of your chest as he fucks back down, deeper now at the new angle. This is it. This is how you die, you're sure of it.

"How close - How close are you. I think I'm gonna - fuck - die -AH!"

He stops grunting for a moment to force out a breathless "Am I hurtin'?"

It only takes one look at you for Joel to realize he's not hurting you at all. There you are, fucked all the way to oblivion and back, a chorus of angels screaming in your ears with each snap of his hips. You're going to come again, clit untouched and holes filled, a way you've never managed to before. You don't even know how it's happening, all you know is that suddenly your soul feels like it's being pulled straight from your bones, through the middle of you and out through your cunt and asshole at the hands of Cupid Joel himself. And then you're gushing, mind and pussy totally detached as you come, soaking his cock and your sheets.

"Yeah that's it," he grunts, his weight surrounding you once more as he pushes into your spasming holes over and over, chasing his own release. If it wasn't for the damn tight rings around his cock and balls he would've come already, but your moans in his ear and your fingers gripping his shoulders spur him forward.

"Joel."

"Gonna come. Gonna fuckin' - uh - come in your tight fuckin' pussy."

"Yes, yes, come in me, please, I can't, I'm gonna -"

Joel stiffens, hips stuttering as he gives you a few hard, shallow thrusts, before he explodes inside you, groaning so loud it makes your ears ring and cunt make one last attempt to clench around him. As much as you soaked him, he's just filled your cunt, cum pushing deep inside you with each spurt, locked in place by the fullness of the two cocks inside you. You collapse back, your ears still ringing and your limbs feeling soft and heavy.

This time you're certain black out for a moment.

But when you peel open your eyes, Cupid Joel is above you again, halo'd by the bright yellow light on your bedroom ceiling. His hair is damp, wet even, from sweat, a bead trickling down his neck and glittering in the light. And in his eyes there's concern, a worried pinch in his brow as he searches your face.

"You passed out -"

"- You're still here."

He rolls his eyes. "Way to make a guy feel special, sweetheart," he says with a cocky smile. "Just checkin' on you, but I can get goin' as long as you're okay."

You nod, the movement feeling as slurred as your speech. "You left. Last time. Saw you walkin'. Jus' wonderin'."

"Wait... you saw that? Shit, I thought you were asleep."

"No, wasn't 'sleep."

"You gonna sleep now?"

"No," you murmur with a nod, closing your eyes as you feel the last sweep of his hand down your neck, pulling a sheet over your limp form, just for you to mumble one last thing before the soft darkness takes you. "Balls... next time... please."

"You got it, darlin'."

It's an arduous journey to the bathroom when you wake up in the dead of night, remnants of cum trickling down your legs and thighs sticking together. Quickly cleaning yourself up, you check the house for signs of him, already knowing that he's long gone. You wonder how he left this time, whether he kept the wings on, whether he still had a second cock strapped to his own as he escaped into the darkness. For all you know, your cupid could have flown away on glittered fairy wings.

And then you're crawling back into bed, takeout long forgotten, any hunger you had satisfied in a different way than you expected. Somehow there's comfort in the wet patch you curl yourself around. Cupid Joel is gone from your house, but there are still traces of him here. The cum on the sheets, the ache between your legs and, as you reach to turn the light off and let darkness take you, the butt plug on your bedside table. Between the Christmas decorations stashed in a box in your closet and this plug, you were slowly amassing pieces of a man you didn't really know - gifts from a stranger that made you feel more at home in this place you'd moved to than anything else had managed to in ten months.

Tracing the outline of the heart with your finger, you stretch and snuggle back down into bed, letting exhaustion take hold and when you dream, you dream of flying.

next part

taglist: @jupiter-soups @wannab-urs @bean-is-reading @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @youandmeand5bucks-blog @bbyanarchist @vickywallace @kamcrazy123 @valkyreally @ashhlsstuff @a-literal-goblin @ariundercovers @iluvurfather @stevie75 @toxicanonymity @thesevi0lentdelights @sp00kymulderr

[wuxianxkexing]

Mu Qing x Goddess Reader: Stop Fucking With My Cat Part 5

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What do you mean I have to actually write this story and it won't just magically appear? Yeah, I didn't forget, I've just been too busy for the past like 5 months? Or however long it's been since the last update. Lol

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Ghosts of all types were most active at night. It was a fact of life and it seemed like humans were born with that innate knowledge, the innate fear of the dark. Y/N didn't really mind the dark too much usually. However she really wasn't prepared for how all consuming the darkness of the swamp really was. It was her first time ever being in one. The torch she carried was practically useless. Between the darkness and thick of the swamp the eye could only see maybe a foot or two in front of it even with the help of the torch. Still it was better than nothing. With it's help Y/N was able to traverse the swamp with all of the delicatecy and grace of a couple hours old fawn, instead of one just born mere minutes ago. It was more difficult than walking on just solid ice! Y/N thought as she gave a dismayed look to Mu Qing who was impatiently stopping every few feet or so to wait for Y/N to catch up again. At least solid ice usually doesn't have so many damned obstacles! Y/N had long ago lost count of how many twigs, mossy rocks, fallen trees, roots and just plain mud she had fallen over during their trek deeper into the murky swamp. It didn't help that despite being so dark it was also super loud. Bugs, owls, frogs, everything seemed to be screaming, or rather singing, it's lungs out. Though Y/N supposed that was a good thing. A silent forest is a bad forest.

"At this rate I might as well carry you." Y/N froze over the large tree root she was making her way over. Mu Qing rolled his eyes so hard she wasn't sure if they'd ever return back to normal. Unlike Y/N Mu Qing was making his way through the swamps like an elf. Never a foot misplaced, barely making any noise. He had the footwork that one would expect of a martial God. It kind of annoyed Y/N, nevermind the insult he had just given her. Why was she the only one suffering in this stupid swamp? "Feng Xin could move through this faster and quieter than you. I'm surprised you haven't scared off everything in the area. The frogs must know that you are too clumsy to be a threat." He smirked.

"Well if you hadn't interrupted my hunting lesson with Echo I could've learned cat like footwork from him!"

"Pfft, so you'd make your master my cat? Well I suppose no one else /would/ take you under their wing." Y/N puffed her cheeks in mocking fake anger. She was a martial Goddess. If anything people would fight each other to be able to claim her as their student. They both surely knew that to be true.

"I think your cat would be a good master. The worst he'd do to me is maybe scratch or bite me, but at least he wouldn't have me run laps until my legs fall off." Y/N smiled back.

Mu Qing huffed and rolled his eyes. "Actually the worst he might do to you is try to suffocate you in your sleep by laying directly on your face like he does to me every night. He's not as innocent as he looks."

"Maybe I shouldn't have given him that demon collar after all. Sounds like he is already halfway there." Y/N laughed at her joke but Mu Qing just stared at her, clearly unamused. Y/N mentally hit herself. Right, he still didn't find the whole thing funny. Y/N liked to fancy herself as a comedian but undeniably most people didn't think she was very funny. She made the rest of her way over the large tree root and went to stand next to Mu Qing, who quickly turned on his heel and continued deeper into the swamp. 'Psh, maybe I should just have him carry me.' Y/N thought grumpily to herself. But she knew it was just a thought. No way would she ever ask to be carried by anyone, let alone Mu Qing. He obviously already thought that she was useless, she didn't need to make it worse. And really it was rather pathetic that a martial Goddess was having such a hard time just walking around. Y/N decided to focus harder on making her way through the swamp with some element of grace, and whether through actual focus or just more experience on where to step the duo actually started making decent time on their descent into the swamp. However their slow going in the beginning finally caught up to them as their last torch finally died.

"Nice going Y/N, now we have to walk around in the dark." Y/N felt her eye twitch in the pitch darkness. It wasn't her fault! She was pretty sure that they needed to bring twice as many torches than they did but Mu Qing was the one who didn't want to carry them around!

"General Xuan Zhen, why don't you just light a palm torch? I was pretty sure that we didn't bring enough torches along but you were the one who said that we'd be fine. Don't blame me for your lapse in judgment." Y/N let out through a very forced smile. She wasn't sure why she even bothered since neither of them could see anything at the moment but that's just a part of playing nice she supposed.

"Tch, why don't you light a palm torch. I need to conserve my spiritual energy." Y/N didn't need to see to know that he just rolled his eyes at her though. She thought about telling him to go fuck himself, she needed to conserve her spiritual power as well and being the very popular God that he was he surely had a lot more of it to spare than she did. Y/N waited a few seconds, listening to the sounds of frogs croaking in the night, considering whether or not she would use her spiritual power. To be honest she didn't really need her spiritual powers, her martial abilities were exceptional even without them, so she ultimately decided to cooperate and lit a palm torch for them.

Unexpectedly Mu Qing was standing a whole lot closer to her than she remembered and she almost caught his robe sleeve on fire. "Watch it!" He screamed out as he pulled himself out of the line of fire. Y/N almost laughed. What was he even doing standing so close to her in the first place after he had just told her to light a palm torch?

"Sorry General Xuan Zhen. My bad." Y/N weakly apologized with a small smile on her face. Mu Qing fixed her with a scrutinizing gaze.

"You did that on purpose."

"No I didn't. I thought you were standing over there." Y/N pointed to where Mu Qing was definitely standing when the last torch went out. His eyes followed the line of Y/N's finger and he pressed his lips together firmly. Maybe it was just the lighting from her palm torch but Y/N was pretty sure that Mu Qing was blushing.

"Whatever, let's get going." Mu Qing turned and started to walk off into the darkness, leaving Y/N to chase after him so he didn't get lost or hurt without light.

[helloalycia]

first friend [one] // yelena belova

summary: you didn't expect to befriend an Avenger's sister, and yet you can't seem to imagine a life where she isn't in it.

warning/s: mentions of cheating.

author's note: it's been so long since i've updated this story and that's because i've been working on my own original fiction story, whilst also writing bits for this in between. here's a yelena imagine to make up for it! it's two parts so here is part one :)

some things to note: the snap didn't happen, thanos isn't a thing and natasha didn't die bc i said so lol

part two / masterlist / wattpad

YOUR POV

Befriending Yelena Belova, a Black Widow assassin and the Black Widow's little sister wasn't something I expected to happen. Aside from the fact that I didn't even know she existed until recently, I didn't think we'd hit it off. And yet, when I was filing some mission reports out in the Avengers Compound, I found myself having to call back a Miss Yelena Belova because she hadn't filled out her report correctly.

She earned my attention by knocking her knuckle on the desk next to mine, making me look up.

"You're Y/N Y/L/N?" she asked with a questioning look.

I nodded, returning her look with a confused one. "I am... and you are?"

"Yelena Belova," she answered, and I noticed her thick Russian accent, as if her name hadn't given it away already. "I was told to see you? Something about a report?"

"Oh, yes! Yes, thank you for coming," I said with a smile, before spinning around in my seat to face her fully. "It shouldn't take long. It's about your latest mission reports you've been sending in. They're missing a few important details, so I though I could show you how to fix it and then you won't have to keep coming back here."

"They're wrong?" she asked, lifting a brow.

"Just a few mistakes," I assured her before going to pull my laptop from my drawer to set up for her. She mumbled something to herself in Russian and though I wasn't sure what, I knew she sounded disappointed, so I added, "It gets easier once you're used to it, don't worry. You're new right?"

She hummed halfheartedly, more intrigued with the reports I was pulling up on the laptop. I motioned to the seat beside me and she moved from her hovering position to sit there, eyes still glued to the laptop.

"Let's see... here we are," I said, getting everything up on the screen before pushing the laptop between us so she could see it better. "Just some wrong codes which makes it harder to file correctly. You've been a little vague with some of the descriptions, and most importantly, you didn't get it signed off."

She frowned slightly and I tried to make her feel better since I knew what it was like to be new and not completely understand the system.

"I'll show you how to fix it," I told her with a reassuring smile, before taking another look at one of her reports. "Hey, this is quite the first mission, Agent Belova. High profile, working directly with the Black Widow – that's huge! Congrats!"

She winced, shaking her head quickly so that her fringe shook with her. "No, no, no. It's not Agent. Just Yelena."

"Oh. Sorry, Yelena."

"And you don't need to congratulate me. She's my sister," she continued with nonchalance, making me snort with a stifled laugh.

"Yeah, and the Hulk is my brother," I played along, before looking back to the screen to start from the top.

"She is," Yelena said with such conviction that I almost believed her. "Natasha Romanoff. My sister. She's a Black Widow. I'm a Widow, too."

I scoffed, waiting for her to tell me she was joking, but the longer she stared at me with expressionless eyes, the stupider I felt. She wasn't lying.

"You're serious," I realised, suddenly straightening up.

"Was I not serious looking? I thought I was pretty serious looking..."

"I didn't even know Agent Romanoff had a sister," I said with a mixture of amazement and surprise.

Yelena blinked, looked down at herself, then said, "Well, here I am."

I tried to disguise my surprise, but it was very obvious. After all, it wasn't everyday you met one of the Avengers' siblings.

"Right, yeah," I babbled, not sure how else to respond. "Er, sorry. Anyway... the report. It still needs to be amended."

She sighed impatiently and motioned for me to continue, so I went through one of them with her, thoroughly explaining the process in which to fill it in. After she was certain she understood, I left her to fill in the second report on her own whilst I got back to my PC to continue some work. Every now and then I'd glance at her to see if she was okay, and she'd have this very entertaining pout on her lips as she made some corrections. For somebody who was a trained assassin, she wasn't very intimidating. It was cute.

"What?" she asked, and I blinked when I realised she'd caught me staring.

Hoping she couldn't sense the heat rising in my cheeks, I shook my head. "Sorry, nothing."

She quirked a brow, hazel eyes lingering on mine momentarily before going back to her screen.

After about ten minutes, she let out a sigh of relief and pushed the laptop towards me, earning my attention.

"It is done," she said tiredly. "I think, anyway."

I smiled at her before checking it over, relieved when I'd seen she'd done it right. She'd saved me a job in the long run.

"It's looking good, Yelena, thank you," I told her. "You're alright to go now."

"Great." She slapped her hands on her thighs before standing up, letting out a dramatic breath.

"Nice meeting you," I said with a nod as she tucked the chair in, ready to leave. "Though hopefully not again if you get this right from now on."

At my poor attempt at a joke, she surprisingly cracked a smile. "Nice meeting you, too, Y/N. Thanks for the help."

"Anytime. S'what I'm here for."

And that was what I thought would be the first and last time I'd meet Yelena. You know, a nice little story to share at parties of how I met an Avengers' sister. But it was barely half a month later when she returned. Funnily enough, it was for the same reason – she was using the wrong code, making my job harder.

When I called her to my floor, I saw her first this time. I'd seen her around a few times since the last, though it was only in passing around the building. She definitely wouldn't have remembered me, but I'd heard enough about her to know who she was. Her eyes roamed the room before she caught my gaze and I waved her over with a friendly smile.

"Hey, Yelena," I said when she stopped before me. "You probably don't remember me, but I'm–"

"Y/N Y/L/N, right?" she asked, to my surprise.

"Yeah...," I said, before adding, "Sorry for calling you down again. It's just– you really need to get this right before I file it away and it's a bad habit to develop."

She pouted a little, nodding. "Right. Sorry."

"It's all good," I assured her, leading her over to the laptop already set up at my desk. "We can go through it again if it'll help."

She nodded and I sat with her for a bit, explaining what the different codes meant and how to differentiate for the sake of the filing system. She seemed to understand after a bit, so I left her to it as I returned to my computer beside her to do some work. It was quiet for a few minutes, as she correctly filed her latest reports, before she spoke up.

"You have a lot of... things," she noticed aloud, and when I glanced her way, she was touching one of the toys on my desk – a solar-powered dancing giraffe.

I smiled with amusement. "Yeah... I get tired of staring at a screen all the time, so it's nice to have stuff to play with."

She reached over for another one of the toys lining my desk – a Scooby Doo plushie – and held it up, quirking a brow. "This?"

Putting on my best Shaggy voice, I said with a grin, "That's Scoob."

She seemed mildly taken aback by my voice and blinked, making me realise she had no idea what I was doing.

"Scooby Doo?" I prompted, my face heating up with embarrassment, before taking the plushie from her and setting it back down to distract myself and not think about the funny look she was giving me. "My sister got it me as a present for my desk. I don't even like Scooby Doo that much, but it's cute..."

"I have no idea what a Scooby Doo is," she said, shaking her head.

I raised my brows, surprised. "No." Judging from her expression, she was serious, leading me to continue attempting to prompt some sort of memory of the famous cartoon. "Scooby Doo? Mystery Inc.? Shaggy? Velma? Daphne? Fred?"

"It's almost like I've been under mind control for the past decade and not had chance to watch any TV in my free time," she deadpanned, and my insides shrivelled up there and then.

Since Yelena had started working with her sister, storied had travelled through the grapevine about how she'd been under mind control and was freed, only for her to spend a lot of her time doing the same for the women in the Black Widow programme around the world, freeing them, too. It was honourable work, but easy to forget when it wasn't something that affected you directly.

"Oh, erm," I started, mouth going dry the longer she stared through my soul (or at least it felt that way), "sorry. I didn't mean to– oh God– I–"

"Kidding," she interrupted, her intimidating expression easing into a smile. She tilted her head, amused. "Kind of. I mean, that's definitely what happened, but no biggie."

I began to laugh awkwardly, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Right, yeah..."

"You're not mad, right?" she asked, in reference to her playing me.

So, I took my revenge, naturally. "Well, it was kind of shitty to make this whole thing awkward," I answered with a fake frown.

Her smile faded instantly when she realised I was offended, so I shot her a smile of my own, tilting my head.

"Kidding."

Upon realising I, too, was pulling her leg, she exhaled softly and rolled her eyes, but a playful smile was tugging at her lips.

"Anyway," I returned to the subject at hand, looking back to the plushie, "it's cool. Scooby Doo. Worth the watch, if you find the chance."

She hummed in response, but I wasn't sure if she was actually considering it or just making conversation.

Soon enough, we returned to our work before she finished up and filed everything correctly this time.

"Awesome, looks like you're all done here," I told her, the both of us standing up. "Was nice seeing you again, Yelena. Hopefully for the last time. I'm sure you're getting sick of being called down here."

She cracked a smile, hazel eyes looking green as they met mine. "It was nice meeting you properly, Y/N Y/L/N."

I wondered why she kept addressing me by my full name but said nothing of it as I nodded to her. "You, too. See you later."

Though Yelena and I had met twice because of work circumstances, we never became friends until afterwards. It wasn't long after that second encounter when I saw her again.

I was eating lunch with some colleagues in the café on one of the lower levels of the Compound when I recognised the blonde assassin approaching our table, to my surprise.

Immediately I lowered my sandwich and sent her a smile. "Yelena, hey!"

She was wearing workout clothes, though wasn't sweaty which made me think she was on her lunch break, too. "Hey, I saw you and thought I'd stop by to say hello."

This was surprising to hear, since the Avengers rarely ate anywhere but their designated floors, but I appreciated it nonetheless and answered, "Nice. Have you eaten? You can join us if you want."

I motioned to the table of my colleagues, who were all so deep into conversation that they weren't even paying Yelena and I any attention. To be fair, it was so busy in the café that I could only just about hear our conversation myself.

"Oh, no, I've just finished eating with my sister," she explained, pointing a thumb over her shoulder.

I followed the direction and saw none other than Natasha Romanoff sat at a table by the window, looking over at us with intrigue. Too intimidated by her presence, I immediately looked away, hoping nobody picked up on it. What can I say? It was an Avenger! Yes, I worked in the same building as them, but they were still superheroes. And Natasha was the scariest one in my opinion.

"Cool," I squeaked out, cursing inwardly at my failed attempt to remain cool before Yelena.

Maybe it was because we'd gotten to know each other a little so I wasn't as intimidated by her as I should have been, but I didn't find myself nervous around Yelena which was a relief. I had no doubts that she could murder me in several ways, just like her sister, if she wanted to, but it still didn't make a difference.

"So, I checked out that Scooby Doo show you mentioned," Yelena continued, further surprising me. "And apparently there's a film as well?"

I grinned at the mention of it. "Hell yeah! The film is the best. But it has to be the 2002 and 2004 ones."

"Yeah, well the show is great, and I get the whole Shaggy voice you were doing now," she said with a smile, and I felt myself cringing as I relived that moment all over again.

"That's good," I said awkwardly, scrunching my face up with embarrassment, and she definitely noticed but thankfully didn't tease me about it. "Anyway, you doing good? You must be since you've not been sent down to see me to fix your reports."

She snickered. "Yeah. Thanks for the help with that by the way."

I shrugged. "It's the job."

She hummed, appearing awkward momentarily, before taking a step back. "I should leave you to it anyway. Just wanted to say hello. Hope I didn't interrupt."

"No worries, you didn't!" I said reassuringly, realising she may have wanted to talk some more. To be honest, I kind of wanted to, too. She was easy to talk to. "Hey, er, before you go, did you want to go out for a coffee or something sometime? I know you're new to the city, so maybe you wanna hang out?"

In this moment, it wasn't like I was talking to an Avenger's sister or an infamous Black Widow. It was just me wanting to get to know Yelena Belova a little better. She was new, we got on, so why not? Only when she took a second longer to answer did I realise that I may have overstepped. But thankfully, any worries I had were squashed when she smiled gently.

"Yeah, I would like that," she said with a nod.

I returned her smile. "Cool. Hold on. I'll grab your number from you, let me just get my phone..."

THIRD PERSON POV

After exchanging phone numbers with Y/N, the two girls bid their goodbyes before Yelena returned to her sister. Natasha was standing up already, ready to leave, but not without giving her sister a knowing smirk.

"What?" Yelena asked when she noticed it, grabbing her rubbish from the table and moving to throw it away.

Natasha's smirk didn't fade as she followed after the blonde, but not before glancing back at the girl Yelena was just talking to. "I know why you wanted to eat downstairs now."

Yelena, who was usually so in control of situations like these, avoided looking at the redhead. "Shut up, Natasha."

Natasha, of course, didn't let up. "So, who was that? New crush?"

Yelena was certain her cheeks are pink with embarrassment, but she refused to let Natasha get to her. "I don't know what you're talking about. You told me to make new friends, remember?"

Chuckling to herself, Natasha said, "Yeah, no. That's clearly more than a friend. Or at least you want it to be. Now. Are you gonna tell me who she is or do I have to go back there and find out myself?"

Yelena rolled her eyes, sure that if she just didn't answer, her sister would leave it alone. Of course, that was too good to be true as Natasha suddenly came to a halt and began to back up, ready to turn around.

"Natasha, wait!" Yelena spluttered, grabbing her by the arms to stop her, making Natasha raise her brows with surprise and amusement.

"Wow, somebody's nervous! What – you scared I'm gonna embarrass you?" Natasha teased.

Yelena was hot with nervousness, unsure why she was so effected by the possibility of Y/N and her sister meeting. Then again, the fact that Natasha was definitely intending to humiliate her was probably enough of a reason.

"She isn't a crush," Yelena explained, though she would be lying if she said she wasn't thinking about Y/N a lot more than she should have been since their last encounter. "Her name is Y/N Y/L/N. She works in the admin department a few floors down. We've spoken a few times and I thought she seemed pretty cool, so we made plans to hang out. That's all."

Natasha squinted, trying to read her sister's expression. It was clear that wasn't the whole truth, but she'd done enough teasing for the day and decided to give Yelena a break. For now.

"Hmm, alright," she gave in reluctantly. "If you say so."

"Your told me to make friends," Yelena reminded her, letting go of her arms and relaxing. "That's all I'm doing.”

Natasha snickered. "Right. Well, good on you."

Yelena exhaled, glad Natasha wasn't fighting it anymore. After all, she wasn't lying. She was just making friends. Ever since joining her sister at the Compound, making use of the resources the Avengers had on her mission to freeing the mind-controlled Widows, Natasha had been adamant she attempt to fit in somehow, make a life for herself. And Y/N happened to be the first person she had a genuine interest in. Was that a crime?

It wasn't a crush – at least she didn't think it was. After all, she hadn't had the opportunity to 'like' like somebody before, let alone befriend somebody. She wasn't exactly sure she knew the difference, not when she hadn't had control of her own mind for so long.

It was best to take things as they came, she knew that, so that's what she would do. And that began with going out with Y/N.

YOUR POV

After hanging out with Yelena – nothing extravagant, just grabbing a coffee and getting to know each other better – we became friends. It was easy to grow used to her dry, sarcastic sense of humour and blunt personality, and it was much easier to be less intimidated by her when I realised how sweet she was.

I wasn't sure how or why we got on, but we just did, and that was where our friendship blossomed. We'd catch each other at work, her mostly stopping by my offices as going to the Avengers' personal floors still made me nervous, and I'd show her around the city more between work which was the best way for her to settle in whilst I got to show her some of my favourite spots.

Turns out the scary assassin was actually a big old softie on the inside, and it was too easy to consider her my best friend. After half a year of growing so close that she knew pretty much everything about me and vice versa, I couldn't have imagined not having her in my life. Her opinion meant a lot to me – she meant a lot to me – so much that when I found out my boyfriend of a year was cheating on me, I couldn't bring it in myself to tell her.

It was humiliating, finding the texts on his phone from another girl, along with some inappropriate videos. Dehumanising when he tried to defend his actions after discovering I knew the truth. We were in a content, happy relationship and I was convinced I loved him, only for the worst to happen.

The last thing I wanted to do was air out my dirty laundry to people I knew, including Yelena, so I kept it to myself. Of course it hurt and I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry, but the embarrassment of her finding out I'd been cheated on was even worse, so I just didn't tell her.

Of course, Yelena wasn't a fool. She was a trained assassin for crying out loud, so when were watching TV together in my apartment, she brought the topic up carefully.

"Y'know, I haven't heard you talk about Thomas in a while," she said between episodes of The Office.

The mention of my ex-boyfriend took me off guard, admittedly, and I hoped she couldn't see my hesitation when I replied, "Yeah, he's not really in my life anymore. We broke up."

In my peripheral vision, I could see Yelena's surprise. "Pardon? Did I hear that right? You broke up?"

I cleared my throat, nodding nonchalantly, though inside the wound was still fresh. "Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We realised it wasn't working anymore. So, we broke up."

"But you were– it was a long–" She was stuck on her words, before finally settling on, "When?"

I shuffled uncomfortably on the couch, fingers playing with the corner of the cushion in my hand. "About a week ago."

She paused, and I finally looked over to see her watching me with a softened expression, though still confused.

"Do you mind if we don't talk about it?" I asked her gently, offering a forced smile.

She nodded. "Right. Sorry. I just– sorry."

I shrugged, looking back at the TV. "It's okay. It's no biggie."

It was, but she didn't need to know that. My hope was that she'd never bring it up again and I'd move on from it all without her ever discovering the embarrassment of the truth. That just wasn't the case though...

We went out for lunch together, maybe a week after that conversation took place, and it was going perfectly fine. We caught up, had pointless and absolutely insane conversations about things that made no sense, and were genuinely enjoying each other's company. It was going perfectly fine, until it wasn't.

"...so he tried to shoot me, but obviously he didn't get a single shot...," Yelena was recalling one of her recent missions, and I wanted to listen, but my attention was stolen when I saw who was sat a few tables behind her.

Thomas, out of all the people who I could have spotted, was pulling out a chair for his date – a really pretty girl who I recalled seeing in the photos and videos on his phone. They were smiling flirtatiously at one another, clearly on a date, and though it was so glaringly obvious that he was going out with her, it didn't really hit me until they shared a kiss.

He was on a date with the girl he cheated on me with.

It wasn't the easiest thing to witness, the wound still very much raw. I hated his guts and I hated the way he made me feel, but that hatred was still wrapped in hurt and embarrassment. And when I saw him with her, I already felt tears pricking my eyes.

"Sorry, I just need to go to the toilet," I cut Yelena off quickly, stumbling out of my booth as I stood up.

She called my name but I ignored her as I sped to the toilets, avoiding looking anywhere but ahead. Thankfully it was empty, but I was left to view my own reflection and, for the first time in a long time, I hated what I saw. I looked like a mess. My vision was blurry, tears filling my eyes, a lump in my throat.

He really didn't want me, didn't he? Something had to be wrong for him not to.

"Y/N, are you in here?"

I sucked up a breath and wiped my eyes before I could shed a single tear for him. Turning around, I saw Yelena entering the bathroom, eyes looking around until they met mine worriedly.

"There you are," she said with relief, rushing in and resting her hands on my shoulders. "What happened? Is it to do with Thomas? I saw him sat out there when you ran off."

It would have been so easy to lie and brush it off, but Yelena was staring right into my soul and I couldn't hold it in for much longer.

"We didn't break up mutually," I whispered, ashamed of the crack in my voice.

Yelena wasn't following. "What?"

I frowned, looking down and feeling my eyes well up all over again. "Thomas and I. We didn't– he–"

Why was it so hard to say?

"Y/N, you can tell me anything," Yelena reassured in a voice so soft I'd never heard it before.

I couldn't meet her eyes. "He was cheating on me."

She didn't respond, nor react, not verbally anyway. I wasn't sure what expression she pulled because I was too embarrassed to look up from the floor.

"Y/N, I..."

All she did was pull me close and it was like a dam burst within me, the tears I'd bottled up for so long finally being set free. I sobbed quietly, shamefully, into her shoulder, and wasn't sure what else to say.

Yelena was sweet – she always was – as she held me upright, letting me make a wet, snotty mess of her jacket. And she held me close until I finally stopped, reluctantly pulling myself from the safety of the crook of her neck.

"Do you want to say something to him?" is all she asked, so carefully, as if I might break even more.

I shook my head, wiping the tears from my face and avoiding her eyes. "I just want to leave."

She nodded, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it gently. I was too tired to do anything but let her lead me out of there, most of it a blur. I recalled her glaring daggers in Thomas' direction when we passed his table, but I refused to look up and see if he noticed. When we reached her car, there was a tense silence in the air.

Finally, after a minute, she broke it.

"Why didn't you tell me, Y/N?" she asked quietly, and I could feel her eyes boring into the side of my head.

Wiping my face to distract from my warm cheeks, I answered, "It's embarrassing."

"No, it's not," she said, and I could see her shaking her head in the corner of my eye.

I scoffed, angry at myself for breaking down. "Of course it is. He cheated on me because clearly something is wrong with me. That's literally the epitome of embarrassing."

"What– are you insane?"

I glanced at her, clenching my jaw. "Maybe. Who knows?"

She scrunched her face up with annoyance. "Stop that. You're not." Her expression softened. "You're completely and utterly wonderful, and the only insane one is him for throwing that away!"

I rolled my eyes, leaning against the passenger door as I got comfortable. "You have to say that. You're my friend."

"No," she said with conviction. "I mean it. Every word. And those are the reasons I'm your friend. Because you're the way you are."

I shook my head, glaring at the front window. "Forget it, it doesn't matter anyway. Can you just– please can we go home?"

She opened her mouth, as if to retort, and I seriously wasn't in the mood. Thankfully, she dropped it for now and put her seatbelt on instead.

The ride home was awkward, mostly because I still felt humiliated at my breakdown and even worse because I hated being pitied by Yelena. If it were up to me, we'd forget this ever happened, but I knew she wouldn't.

"You should've said something sooner," she said when she pulled up outside my apartment building. Her voice was calm, but her words carried weight. "I would've helped."

Realising how bitchy I was being for no reason, I let go of my anger. She was never my target – I was my own worst enemy right now. All Yelena had done was be there for me.

"You helped before. Getting me out of there." I exhaled, regretful of my attitude earlier, and gave her a grateful look. "Thanks."

She looked to me, green eyes twinkling sadly, matching the frown on her lips. I leaned forward and pulled her in for a hug, albeit an awkward one because we were still in the car, but a needed one. She was a really good hugger, I realised, and I didn't want her to go just yet.

"Do you wanna come up?" I asked lamely once I pulled away. "I just– I–"

"Of course," she cut me off, and I was relieved because I had no idea how to say anything else.

I relaxed, nodding, and glanced at her with a small smile before getting out the car. She followed me out and up to my place, where we instantly fell into a sweet lull of an afternoon. She didn't bring up Thomas for the rest of the day. Not when we ate up all the junk food in my kitchen. Not when we watched one film after another, her letting me pick them all. And not when we passed out on my couch, too tired to get up and make it to my bed.

When I woke up the next morning, I found myself half laying on Yelena's chest as she laid on the couch, leg hanging off the end.

"Shit, sorry," I mumbled when I realised I was drooling on her shirt.

She groaned, tired, and mumbled something I couldn't make out, before opening her eyes and immediately widening them. I wondered what had her spooked, but was still too tired to think on it longer than a second.

"I am so hungry," I thought aloud, pushing myself to sit upright. Letting out a yawn, I checked my watch. "We didn't eat at all last night. Not a proper meal anyway."

Yelena still hadn't spoken, so I stood up and stretched, yawning once more. I hadn't realised how quickly time had gotten away from us yesterday, nor how easily I was able to forget the mishap because I had Yelena.

"I think I have some eggs in the fridge," I said, padding over to the kitchen to take a look. "You want some?"

Yelena didn't answer and I didn't really care, taking it as a yes anyway. Before starting to cook, I went to freshen up in the bathroom and wake myself up a little more. When I came out, Yelena was waiting outside the door.

"There's a spare toothbrush under the sink," I told her with a smile. "I'll get started on breakfast."

She nodded tiredly, going in after me. I started on breakfast meanwhile, the events of yesterday coming to mind as I fried some eggs. It was a strange day, but it felt good to be able to tell Yelena the truth. I didn't feel so alone anymore.

When I heard Yelena coming out the bathroom, I glanced over my shoulder and saw her looking much more awake than before. And that's also when I realised she was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

"I have some clothes you can wear if you want," I offered, but she declined with a polite head shake.

"I'll just be going back to the Compound after, it's all good."

I hummed in acknowledgment, getting back to putting our breakfast together. She took a seat at the dining table and I felt the need to speak up again.

"Thanks," I blurted out, making no sense.

She sounded confused, and tired. "Huh?"

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I distracted myself with plating up our eggs. "For staying last night. And for not making... it a thing. That's all I wanted."

If Yelena wanted to, she could have turned Thomas inside out with ease, but she didn't, and I was eternally grateful.

"I'll always be here for you, Y/N," she said when I was setting her plate in front of her.

I glanced up at her from the plate. "I know. I'm lucky."

She began to smile, eyes meeting mine comfortingly. I returned her smile, hoping she knew how much she meant to me, before taking a seat opposite her and digging in.

[incorrectgallaghergirlsquotes]

Hello!!! Would you please make something about the scene before Zach sleeps in cam's bed in UWS? ( Like immediately after his mission with joe) cause he said he got stupid? Thanks!

Hello! You guys! This goes in the basket with the scene where he finds Macey instead of Cammie. I love this scene. I think I have an in depth analysis of it in my drafts. (Update: I DO. I'll post it next.) Let's do it!

Rachel softly closed the door to her office. The man inside would be fine for now. The boy in the hallway, however...

"Thanks for getting him back in one piece." Rachel told Zach. He was leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, and not looking at her.

"It was the least I could do," was all he said. "I can, um,"

"Stay." Rachel interrupted. "Zach, these things happen. But you both made it back," she placed a hand on his shoulder. "That's what is important."

Zach looked from her hand and then finally to her face. Finding only sincerity there, he nodded.

She smiled at him. "Good. Besides, I think my daughter will be very upset if she doesn't get to see you when she gets back."

Zach inhaled, of course Rachel had anticipated the question he had wanted to ask. "Is she...?"

"She should be back soon," Rachel said. "You should wait for her."

Zach nodded. He moved to follow her back into her office, but Rachel blocked him. "Why don't you head up to the girls room?" she asked.

Zach seemed taken aback by the suggestion. He blinked at her, trying to judge if it was a test or something. Rachel just smiled at him. "They should go up there directly after arriving anyway. If not, that's where I'll send her. She'll be happy to see you."

It struck Zach in that moment that somewhere along the way, Rachel had decided she trusted him.

She was still smiling at him. "I trust you know the way?" When he nodded, she waved her arm in dismissal. She went back into the office to tend to Joe while Zach made his way through the halls.

As excited as he was to see Cammie, the guilt over what happened on his mission with Joe was weighing on him. With every step he realized he didn't know how Cammie would be returning. What if she had been hurt? Rachel hadn't said anything, but maybe she didn't know yet.

He reached her door and paused. Maybe this was a bad idea. Or maybe it was the self sabotage talking.

The girls had locked their door, which Zach had anticipated. That hadn't been a problem in the past (a thought that he hated out of context). It did strike him that Rachel had also likely anticipated that and that Zach would still be able to get in.

Their lives were weird.

The room was different without at least some of the girls present. It still had the lived in, homey feel and character of the four girls it was just... still.

He found himself moving around the room, the door clicking shut behind him. He had never spent a long amount of time in the girls room and when he had been in there his focus had been on one thing in particular. It was like, for the first time, he processed there were things in that room. Books and make up and scrunchies and pens and trinkets pertaining to each girl. He found himself walking around Cammie's bed, gaze trained on her bedside table.

There was a picture of her and her mom and another of her with Bex and Liz, probably from their first year. Next to them were photobooth pictures of them with Macey, possibly from the semester Zach had been there. There was a tube of chapstick, a few hair ties, a necklace, and other usual items. It was interesting how a few years ago he would have looked at all those items to learn about her, but now it didn't tell him anything he didn't already know.

Without anything else to occupy himself, he suddenly felt awkward. What was he supposed to do until she got back? Standing in the room felt weird, but so did sitting at her desk, or on her bed. He was still by her bedside table so he sat on the bed, testing it out. He wasn't facing the door so he didn't feel quite like a puppy waiting for it's person to get home.

It was then that he realized, in typical Cammie fashion, she hadn't bothered to make her bed before leaving. Which he could single her out for because all of her roommates had made theirs.

Smiling, he at least rearranged her comforter so it looked more put together. She'd likely be tired when she got back, he knew he was. Although, it hadn't hit him until he sat on her bed again. The beds at the Gallagher Academy were the most comfortable he'd ever been fortunate enough to sleep on.

Careful to keep his shoes off her bed, he let himself recline back. His head fell on Cammie's pillow and he became engulfed in the scent of her shampoo. And just... her. It was sweet but subtle. Flowery and... something else.

Zach hadn't planned on his eyes drifting shut. He caught himself a few times and tried to shake himself out of it. He couldn't, however, bring himself to get up again.

Ultimately, Cammie won out and he drifted off to sleep. Surrounded by her both physically and in his thoughts.

It paled in comparison to waking up to the sound of her saying his name. He opened his eyes and there she was. Perfect.

[slime-the-awesomeguy]

hguvbhghn so much write

coughs up little ball made purely of digital letters and tiny green apples (whole)

i dont know if we've seen Wren b4,, so here he is!!... i have yet to update his design a bit

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Wren had his head hung over his shoulders as boredom overcame him, seeing as he'd been waiting for quite awhile. He stared at the grassy, warm-toned ground, subsequently sighing with an unamused expression, before hearing some footsteps off to the right.

He'd tilt his head to get a look and see a familiar figure, scowling lightly as he fixed his eyes on Sir. He scooted over, adjusting his bag and straightening his posture to be fixed up against the back of the bench he'd been sat on. Sir would have been making his way through the park, humming softly before spotting his brother on the bench. He put on a smile and made his way towards Wren, subsequently sitting down once he got there. Sir leaned against the back of the bench with a relaxed demeanor, waiting for Wren to initiate some form of a conversation; Whether it be a 'hello' or something along those lines, he just waited patiently.

"... Hey. " Wren muttered, keeping his eyes off his sibling and focusing on the nearby creek running under a small bridge. He didn't want to see Sir, but he felt it had been too long since the two talked. "Good afternoon, Wren!" He greeted back eagerly, starkly contrasting Wren's quiet demeanor. "It's nice to see you again!... I'm sorry I never got to apologize after the fight we had at Jovial." He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with an awkward expression, though trying to keep a warm expression.

Wren would roll his eyes lightly in response, fumbling with the strap on his bag. "It's... Whatever." He'd mutter once more, barely keeping his voice over a mumble. Sir was used to it, but it didn't exactly change how guilty he'd feel knowing Wren wasn't exactly open to talking to him. Especially considering the fact that he'd felt he failed as both a sibling and some sort of parental figure for Wren. Sir couldn't help but frown a little, glancing off to the side and examining the ground. He slowly reached into his own little travel bag and pull out some cherry shaped and flavored gummies, handing the plastic packaged item to Wren. "Here," He started, putting his hands in his lap once Wren took them. "I saw them at a store and remembered you liked cherries, so I thought you'd like them!... Err.. Unless you don't like them anymore, it has been awhile." Sir chuckled, smiling gently.

He'd hold the bag for a few moments, soon opening it and taking one out. ".. Thanks. " He stated, before eating it and placing the baggie in his satchel. "..So... What'd you want?" He asked plainly, not bothering to meet Sir's gaze. "Oh! Right, haha! Well,,... Ehhmm.." Sir would nervously fidget with his tie, glancing off to the side before returning his gaze toward Wren. "I did just want to say sorry.. I do know you're still upset for what had happened but--..." He'd soon be interrupted, frowning lightly. "Don't tell me how I feel." Wren spat, clenching his jaw slightly and scowling. "I'm not forgiving you." He responded with a huff, crossing his arms and glaring off to the side. He didn't even wanna think about it, or hear Sir speak. He was practically a traitor, and stupid, and so easy to hate with his stupid smile. Sir always tried too hard, never left things alone even if they needed to be left alone. He was annoyingly anxious and always asked stupid questions. AND- "Listen.. I know, what I did was... a bit unwise ,but knowing what I know now.. It's better I hadn't taken you with me... Though, letting you stay with dad those couple years wasn't the best choice either." Sir sighed softly, watching as Wren's tensed frame would soon soften, though keeping the upset expression. He didn't respond, although.

Sir would soon smile lovingly and sit back, looking towards the woods in front of them. "... You know you're allowed to tell me what I did wrong,, right? No one's really around us, and it's nice to finally be... Well, out in nature." Sir chuckled, glad to be able to be somewhere else than his work or his apartment. Wren spoke up after a few moments, mumbling under his breath. "..Maybe-.. We shouldn't--.. I just- You-" Wren began to uncross his arms, fidgeting with the strap of his bag and staring at the ground. " Grhhnn.. Have you even gotten better? You left with zero warning besides a small goodbye, change your name, move several states away and then-- DISAPPEAR!! You just.. Cut contact! Especially after all the stunts you pulled and everything you did to dad and mom and-" Wren looked up, staring at Sir. His demeanor had changed and he had a saddened expression on his face filled with guilt and regret, holding a hand over his mouth. He couldn't bare to make eye contact with Wren or even say anything.

"...Was what we even know the truth..?"

Wren's voice asked somewhat shakily, of which snapped Sir out of the small spiral he was pulling himself into. "Wh.. What?" Sir responded, pulling himself to look at Wren. "I.. You just-.. We-... Listen,, he's been lying, hasn't he?" ===

cpoguhs and smiles not my best work but this was just a one off situation i thought would be fun to write!!! yippie yahoo!! this is missing so much context but ooooo maybe i'll come back with more ooo spooky haejhhehee idk if this is even canon but maybe it will be ahehehehee @therealjackdsaf

[the-houseryn]

Review of my 2023 Writing

I don’t typically post about my fanfics, just reblogging posts made about them by fest mods and the spare reccer but I’ve decided I’d like to change that a bit. So my first attempt is going to be this summary of what I’ve done this year.

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Stats

Word Count Posted: 144,496

Fic Count Posted: 7

Art Posted: 1 (First time)

Updated Series: 2

Fandoms/Ships: HP: 4 Dron, 2 Drarry, 1 Dron Friendship

Fests: @harrydracompreg, @unleashed-fest, @hp-soulmates, @hprarepairfest, and @pumpkinspiceficfest

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Fics Posted

take me home, you're my, my, my, my... (Drarry, 157.4k, E)

Potter – I have found myself in a position in which I am desperate for assistance. I know I have no right to reach out to you for help, but I know of no other option. Could you be amenable to meet up with me someplace private, can be of your choosing, to discuss this matter? Please. Draco Malfoy A Malfoy mystery. His favorite kind.

I’ve been writing this one since Nov 2021 and I unfortunately was only able to update one chapter on it all year long. I yearn for my muse for this fic to return to me so I can finish this bad boy off.

in a party bathroom (Drarry, 16.4k, M, HD Mpreg fest)

He hadn't even wanted to go to the ridiculous party, let alone planned on shagging Potter in a port-a-john while he was there. But he did, and oh, what fun the consequences it brought were...

This one has found itself on a few rec lists this year and I’m very pleased about that. Thank you to everyone who has enjoyed it and promoted it💖

boy, you might have me believing i don't always have to be alone (Dron Friendship, 102.1k, M)

Eighth year was not nearly as painful as he expected it to be. Honestly, Ron would be on cloud nine if only Harry would let them help him. But Harry kept insisting he was fine; his denial was so strong he didn't even see how bloody weird it was that he didn't care that Malfoy was acting weird. It only made sense then to Ron that with Harry not up for the task, it was on Ron's shoulders to watch and take care of the prat.

Started this in Nov 2022 and this year I did Chapters 9-18. This baby lives in my head allll the bloody time, if only that could then translate onto the keyboard with as much ease, then I could have it done already. This one isn’t all that popular, but I’ve got a small gathering of devotees, and that makes it so freaking special 🥰

unless you're choosing me (Dron, 31.4k, M, Soulmate Fest)

A soulmate was a choice. It was two people deciding to spend the rest of their lives together, weathering any storm. That was a fact that Ron would hold as truth for the rest of his life. Even when the Unspeakables found a spell in some ancient text that tied soulmates together with a red cord and showed them a moment of their "true love". It was a hoax, he was sure of it. But no one else agreed, willing to upend their lives just because a stupid spell said so. Ron wouldn't have minded so much if it hadn't wrecked his.

OMG, this fic. I was just freaking perusing the Soulmate Fest prompt list out of curiosity only, NO intention of participating since the due date was like in under two weeks. But then I saw this one prompt (Thank you Dr.P’s hubby) and I was struck dumb with an idea, then wrote the first 11.4k in 24hrs, breaking my record by an extra 2.5k. Honestly so fucking baffled by myself when 3k on a normal day is a stretch.

misty morning comes again (Dron, 4.4k, M, Unleashed Fest)

Every morning without snow on the ground or rain that turned the land into a slip and slide of mud and wet grass, Ron ran the property with his misfit herd of barnyard animals close behind him. The thrilling tease of watching Ron's solid, sweat-glistening body do its lap around the misty morning pond was just about the only thing that could get Draco willingly out of bed so soon after the summer sun rose. Barn chores and animal butts certainly weren't going to do it.

Hands Down My Favorite thing I’ve written this year. I give it a quick reread all the time. I normally don’t care too much about my stats. But I love this fic so bloody much that it bothers me a weeee bit that it’s my lowest hit fic. Only really cuz I get so much joy from it that I just wanna share that joy with others but it seems to have passed under people’s radar.

all of this silence and patience (Dron, 9.9k, M, Pumpkin Spice Fest)

Thanks to the lack of a natural baby boom after the war, The Post-War Reunification and Family Reformation Act of 2003 passed, damning Draco to a long, miserable life with Ronald Bloody Weasley. With nothing left to lose, they might as well try Luna's suggestion, even if the idea of snuggling Weasley sounded like a unique method of torture. Pumpkin Spice Fest Prompt: Morning Fog, Snuggles, and Marriage Law

This was the first fest I’ve ever done with a max word count and I honestly thought 10k was plenty for my idea with this prompt… I ended up having to cut three sections and hunt down every possible contraction I could create to make it three words shy of the max 😶

your seat, it's the best seat (Dron, 17.4k, E, Rare Pair Fest)

In the moment, it hadn’t occurred to him that taunting Draco into sitting on his lap once would open the door for Draco to keep doing so, even when other chairs existed. Nor had he known that the consequence of becoming Draco's furniture was how hard he'd fall in love with someone who didn't fancy him back.

I almost pitched this fic so many times. It was a fucking brawl to finish it. Thank you, Amia, for reading it over tho and hyping it up. I’m way more proud of it than I was then and I appreciate you convincing me to persevere 💖

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Art Posted

[ART] how the hell... (Drarry, G, Unleashed Fest)

Prompt: Harry has no idea how a white highland cow got inside 12 Grimmauld Place, nor why it seems to have a strange affinity for the fancy French chocolates one of his admirers keeps sending him...

Never have I thought I’d participate in a fest with my art, but here we are. I’m honestly quite proud of it…. As long as I don’t think about my struggles with perspective… but hey, my little dumb details like the scrub brushes in the sink and the post-it notes are my favorite things I’ve done. Also??? I’ve never drawn an animal before so I’m proud of that too tbh

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Overall Notes For The Year ✨

I cannot believe how many fests I participated in this year and how many I was so sad to not be able to do like Kinktober and Deflower December. But I’m so so thankful that I participated in the ones I did because it led me to fest servers where I really got a chance to alpha and beta for other writers. Not only did I get to talk to awesome people and make a friend, but these wonderful writers undid so much damage from some bad shit that happened to me in high school English classes. I have been denying myself becoming a professional editor despite my love of it for a decade but between my therapist’s support and these writers insisting I had talents as an editor, even requesting my little write-up about beefing up your writing in 2nd edits, I’m now ready to face those fears. It’s gonna be tough but I’m also so excited in a way I’ve never felt about life outside of writing fanfiction.

(Also, what the fuck is up with me having my word counts end in .4? I managed that in 5 out of 7 fics as well as my overall for the year??? Odd AF)

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2024 Goals

Right now, I have plans for participating in Knot, Dronarry, HD Mpreg, and Love of a Weasley fest with dreams of participating in SEVERAL others. I also HOPE with every fiber of my being that I finish ‘take me home...’ and part one of ‘boy, you might have me...’ in 2024. Got my fingers to fucking crossed for that 🤞🤞🤞

✨May we all have a year full of the planets called Free Time, Great Ideas, and Energy (and Skill for those like me who have skill loss when overwhelmed with life) being aligned so we can create all those wonderful fics floating in the universe, begging to be shared.✨

[steezywrites]

CROWN OF THE MORALLY GREY

Draco X Y/n Snape

Part 7:

It’s taken entirely too long to update this, my apologies. I’ve been chasing around my toddler while adjusting to having a newborn at home too! Hope you enjoy, it’s kinda short.

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Draco hadn't talked to her in days. He wasn't necessarily avoiding her, but he stayed silent, either emptily staring at nothing or looking pissed off.  She heard him talking to Blaise, Theo, Crabbe and Goyle,; his usual group, but he'd go silent whenever she entered the room. The other boys had begun to notice and kept asking her what was going on, but she couldn't give them an answer. Usually, if she did something that upset Draco, he was loud about it. He'd seek her out to tell her how wrong she was, sometimes even causing a scene over it. His silence towards her was something unfamiliar, and it was driving her mad.

    Y/n had been known to have an angry outburst every now and then, but these past few days it'd gotten worse. Snarky comments and venom had been spit over virtually nothing. Pansy had been too loud one morning, something that Y/n had never cared about before, and she had lashed out. Blaise had reminded her they had double potions with the gryffindors, and she had "let him know" Pansy would never fuck him. Theo had asked how she was doing, and she put a leg locker jinx on him.

     Everyone was expecting her to lash out whenever she saw Draco at that point, but she hadn't. She'd stay quiet, staring at him and hoping he would at least fucking look at her. She'd gone over the previous days and couldn't think of anything she could have done to make him so mad at her. Surely Draco didn't care that she injured Potter, but that'd been the same night he had gone silent. She wasn't able to say a word to him at the beginning of the year ceremony, Pansy had taken up all of her hearing capabilities before Dumbledore had dragged her off. They hadn't fought enough during the summer to be it, and Draco had already stated whatever issue he had with her during that time anyway. Everything about him had changed after he said goodbye to his mother but she didn't know how that would effect how he felt about her.

      Her dorm looked like a tornado had gone through. All of her books thrown about the room, her pillows flattened by her fist,  her trunk had been emptied and turned upside down. Y/n hair was a mess as well, her strands going in all kinds of directions from her hands running through it and tugging in anger. Luckily her dorm mates had taken note of her mood and had stayed away from the dorm, besides Pansy.

    "Bloody Hell, Snape. Whatd you do to our room?"

    "I didn't touch your things."

    "I appreciate that but..."

    "Just leave me alone Parkinson."

    "No thanks."

    "I wasn't asking." Y/n growled, staring at the mirror she kept on the wall beside her bed.

    "Neither was I."

    Pansy moved to sit on Y/N's bed. After sleeping in the same Dorm as Y/n for years and slowly building a something close to a friendship, she'd gotten quite used to her anger, but the look on Y/N's face was different.

    Y/n didn't normally cry when she was mad but now her eyes were red, a bit of mascara smudged beneath them. Pansy had noticed the circles under Y/N's eyes on the train, but they were darker now.

    "This is so fucking stupid. I don't even know why he's mad at me." Y/n nearly laughed, her eyes not leaving her reflection.

    "He hasn't said anything?"

    "Nothing. Normally when he's mad at me, he tells me how I fucked up, but he isn't saying shit. It's been days Pansy." Her voice was returning to something Pansy recognized, pure anger with a laugh laced in.

     "It shouldn't bother me so much. It's like I'm having fucking-"

     "Withdrawals." Pansy finished. Y/n nodded.

    "It's so fucking stupid. He's just a boy. It's just fucking Malfoy. Pathetic fucking Malfoy."

    "You know he isn't just a boy."

    "That's even more pathetic."

    They stayed quiet for a moment. Pansy wasn't sure how to help and Y/n was attempting to calm herself down but it wasn't working. She kept picturing Draco which made her hands shake. Merlin she was so angry. The amount of control Draco had over her was disgusting. She kept glancing at her Soul Ring, where she felt a steady heartbeat. The same heartbeat she'd felt for days, steady. Did he not care? There hadn't been a single time the heartbeat had spiked, if he was angry surely it would. She could I only imagine his ring had been beating rapidly since Dumbledore pulled her into his office, and Draco didn't seem to care.

    How could he be effecting her this much? Everything felt hollow until someone spoke or breathed too loud or she was left alone for too long, then she felt as if everything was so small and weak and irritating compared to her. Her anger felt violent and as if it imbued her with some kind of superiority. As destructive as it was, it was a high she hadn't felt before.  It made her feel powerful, everything besides her was fragile. Anger and Y/n were childhood friends, and it was slowly becoming a bad influence.

      She smiled as she looked in the mirror, eyes and nose red, hair a mess, a small chuckle escaping her lips.

    She punched the mirror.

    The sting in her knuckles was almost comforting, and she flexed her fingers a few times, eyes narrowing at the ring that still was beating steadily.

   Pansy sat in silence. She had flinched when Y/n punched the mirror, but wasn't entirely phased. If anyone was going to loose their shit, it didn't surprise her that it was Y/n.

     "You know, there's been a few new additions into my life recently. Questions mostly, and a lot of I don't fully understand." Y/n wiped her nose with the back of her hand, leaving a streak of blood across her face.

    "I fucking hate not knowing. But I thought, I thought I didn't have to questions anything to do with Draco." A chuckle resurfaced again.

    "I swore my life away, for him. My entire future is fucked, for him. And my father hasn't spoken to me in weeks."

    Pansy offered a hand at this point.

    "Talk to me about it."

   Y/n thought about it for a moment. Pansy should be someone safe to confess to. Pansy never hid the fact that she would be a Deatheater one day. She'd been as cruel to muggleborns in their early years as Draco had. Pansy had calmed the bullying back a bit in the past couple of years, but Y/n knew it still lurked in there. Y/n overheard her whispering about Deatheater boys and even defending them on occasion. Pansy wouldn't judge her, and could even become an allay if Y/n so wished. Despite how angry she was at him, Y/n wouldn't tell Pansy about Draco's involvement. She'd have to spin the truth a little, but Pansy would believe her wholeheartedly. Pansy seemed to see something in Y/n that some didn't, and held her on a pillar. No other girl could get away with spending so much time with Draco without Pansy hexing them like Y/n could. Pansy would even set up girls nights where all they did was giggle about was if Draco was flirting with Y/n or not. Pansy had never done anything harmful to Y/n, if anything she practically begged for them to be best friends.

Y/n looked at Pansy, searching her face and only finding that Pansy was genuine in her offer.

    "It's pretty dark, Panz."

    "I think I can handle it."

     "I have to kill Dumbledore."

     "You fucking WHAT?"

   Y/n explained as much as she could to Pansy. She'd told her that she had gotten assigned by Voldemort to kill Dumbledore, and that Voldemort had threatened that he'd have Draco killed if she failed. The beginning of which was a lie. She told her Narcissa had heard and was worried so she had made A Unbreakable Vow to Narcissa that she wouldn't fail so Draco would be safe. Another partial lie. Leaving out the part about her father being a double agent, she simply said Severus knew about the Vow and hadn't spoken to her since and that Dumbledore had somehow known about all of it.

    Pansy had stayed quiet and listened, her eyes widening sometimes. When Pansy shut up, she could be an awful good listener. Y/n had picked up her room as she talked, making note of the necklace she had previously emptied from her trunk and made sure not to touch it and only it's wrappings as she stashed it underneath everything else. When she had finished talking, Pansy breathed heavily, offered a smile and marched out of the dorm. Y/n followed, curious but ready to hex Pansy if a single word of their conversation slipped out of her mouth.

   Pansy had stormed down the stairs and into the common room where Draco was sitting in the chair he always sat, raising his head as Pansy entered and lowered it again when he saw Y/n. Pansy smacked him across the face.

     Draco's face contorted between stunned and anger. Y/n ring began to beat quickly.

    So Pansy gets a reaction, what a plague of a thought to crawl into Y/N's mind.

      "Who the fuck-"

      "Stop being a mopey, pathetic git and talk to Y/n." There was demand in Pansy's voice that Y/n hadn't heard before, especially not when addressing Draco.

      "It's none of your business, Parkinson." Draco hissed, standing.

      "Actually it is. She's my friend and in case you haven't noticed, she's been losing her mind the past few days since you haven't even looked at her. Talk to her."

    Y/n simply watched, slightly amused and increasing grateful for Pansy.

    "Or what?" Draco scoffed as he folded his arms across his chest, clearing trying to come off as intimidating. Pansy smiled at him.

    "I'll ask her to be my girlfriend."

    Draco's eyes hardened even more than they already were, glaring down at Pansy.

     "As if I care."

    "We both know perfectly well you do, Malfoy."

     Y/n had remembered all the times Draco had conveniently showed up to scare away any one who showed interest in her, once resulting in a Ravenclaw boy being sent to the hospital wing covered in boils after he had asked Y/n to the Yule Ball. Y/n would have said yes and Draco had known it. Cedric Diggory had avoided her for weeks once after they had gotten Butterbeers together. Y/n wasn't entirely sure why, but she had a theory Draco had been behind it.

    Draco looked at Y/n, something he hasn't done since they got off the Hogwarts Express. His eyes were narrow, but Y/n felt her gaze soften. In order to glare at her it meant he was looking at her.

    "You're ridiculous Parkinson. Y/n wouldn't say yes to being your girlfriend." His stare returned to Pansy who smiled.

    "You never know. After the chat we just had all alone in our dorm, I think she might."

    Draco didn't respond and instead walked over to Y/n and roughly grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the common room and into the halls.

    He stayed silent, his hand had loosened its grip to a more comfortable pressure as he dragged her through the halls. Y/n hadn't a clue as to where they were going, her eyes too locked into his figure to pay attention. His shoulders were tense, his pace faster than usual and his hair while still styled, was less sleek than usual, the ends of it curling just a bit. The ring on her finger hadn't stopped beating quickly, a feeling she wasn't used to. In the hand he held, she could feel the quick heartbeat that was radiating from the ring he wore. Knowing Draco could feel her heartbeat in this moment would have been embarrassing if she wasn't too focused on him to think.

    Draco had pulled her up the astronomy tower and let go of her hand once they had reached the room inside it. It was twilight, the moon was encompassed by a slowly deepening lavender, the lighting outside turned Draco's hair the most delicate purple she'd ever seen. His skin was nearly glowing, he looked angelic again, Her Lucifer. He sighed heavily and clenched his jaw. Y/n was trying to grasp that this wasn't a dream.

If it weren't for the past few days, this could have almost been romantic. The way the setting sun highlighted the edges of the stone walls and turned the sky shades of peach and lavender could put someone in a trance. It was so quiet, far too quiet with the only sound being the muffled voices of students who were heading to dinner.

Draco still wouldn't looked at her.

[phoebus-cluster]

I did it, here's a short chapter 1 to kick this thing off. I don't plan on breaking 80k words with this one, but I do intend for it to be at least 25-40k. This is, in essence, an alternating POV between an Astarion origin run and a Durge run.

tags/labels will update accordingly. Enjoy! ---

Dusk began to fall. 

Astarion wandered through the forest, back towards the clearing where his group made camp for the night. He had excused himself for a walk to get some fresh air; a lazy cover story, but one that worked. They’d asked him no questions. 

He was eager to get away, his strength waning. He needed to find blood, and badly.

Fighting had exhausted him. The new lands he and his companions found themselves in were remote, beautiful, and treacherous, the last day-and-a-half taken up entirely by run-ins with bandits, goblin scouts, and surviving brainlets from the mindflayer ship that brought them there in a fiery crash. 

He hadn't drunk blood in days, before the mindflayers even took him captive. The runty, putrid rat his Master provided was hardly enough to sustain him then, more liquid rot than blood. While his hunger gnawed, it provided a much-needed edge to hunt. 

He had encountered a wild boar and drained it dry. Its blood flowed through him now, gamy, but warm and revitalizing. He took a final moment to appreciate the descending sun and prepared himself to face the surly bunch that awaited his return.

He’d just crossed the camp’s perimeter when there was a resounding ring of unsheathing blades around him.

“At ease, dears,” he called lightly, raising his hands with a smile.

Three figures arose slowly, revealing themselves from crouched positions. They lowered their weapons with a huff, relieved and irritated.

“You’d do well to announce yourself sooner,” seethed the githyanki. “You’ll save yourself the trouble of being skewered.”

“Deepest apologies,” he said with a small bow. “Where are my manners?” 

He sauntered to his tent and lowered onto his bedroll, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. He gazed upwards and admired the stars, bright and numerous in the wilderness.

“You look happy,” said the cleric. “Enjoy your walk?”

“Oh, very much so. After romping around in that dusty tomb and enduring the three of you bickering all day, I was in dire need of some 'me time.'” 

“Funny,” she replied. “We found the silence in your absence quite refreshing ourselves.”

She was so very unamused with him. He scoffed under his breath and gave her a wry grin. 

He watched his three companions as they brooded around the campfire, a palpable tension between them as they divvied up provisions. The gith and cleric were particularly venomous to each other, their alliance begrudging, to say the least.

Then, there was the knight. 

Quiet, pragmatic, and dreadfully drab. He slowly realized that she wasn’t so much reserved as she was dazed. She had little to tell them about herself, and unlike the cleric, it seemed more out of incompetence than purposeful omission. 

Perhaps she was concussed after the crash. More likely she was stupid, he figured. 

She frowned as she ladled a thin stew into bowls for the unappreciative party.

“Aren’t you having any?” she directed at him flatly.

“Hm. If it tastes as good as it looks, I’ll take my chances on an empty stomach, darling.” 

He relished that she looked visibly annoyed with him.

“Suit yourself,” she shrugged.

They ate and left him alone.

It wasn't long after the crash when he first stumbled upon them, on the bluffs above the beach where they landed. He’d first seen them onboard the ship, through the alien pod that encased him, wandering the halls and exterminating what appeared to be other captives lying helplessly on examination tables. 

He’d felt a deep pang of hatred. Were they aiding his captors? 

He’d make them pay.

He lured them with cries for help, shouting them down to alert that more brainlets were nearby. As they drew closer, he finally got a good look at them.

He immediately noticed the gith first—Lae’zel was her name. He’d only ever read of them before. Arguably humanoid with yellow skin, reptilian eyes, and a slit-like nose—despite appearing exactly as he imagined, he was still taken aback by her alienness and the way she exuded murderous intensity.

The other two were half-elves, judging by their complexions. Both were dark-haired, youthful and pretty, albeit severe in their countenances. The fairer one with green eyes—Shadowheart—donned a cleric’s habit under her armor—for which god, he wasn’t entirely sure, nor did he care in the least. He could hardly get past her ridiculous name.

He did, however, recognize the chainmail and tunic of the darker one. Not only was she a knight, she was a paladin. His heart sank as she moved in first, brow furrowed and ready to exact more justice on illithid minions, so self-righteous, so ready to save the day.

Her kind did not take kindly to vampires.

He recognized a flitting half-second of opportunity when she dashed in—

And seized it, wrenching her by the back of the neck and drawing a dagger to her throat.

Down they went in the struggle. His knife hand was unflinching as she grabbed his wrists and attempted to force him off. The other two watched tensely—he had the upper hand. 

His eyes met hers in that moment, large, dark, wounded with betrayal.

“I saw you on the ship, didn’t I?” he crooned in her ear. He pressed the blade firmly into her skin, just hard enough to not slice her. “Nod.”

She raised her chin, and in that moment, her neck revealed itself to him from the chainmail, her skin golden brown, vital, heartbreakingly soft—

She abruptly slammed her forehead into his nose. 

Oh, how he could have killed her then and there.

He released her with a yowl and they scrambled to their feet. 

After a terse exchange, the four of them mutually determined that they posed no immediate threat to one another. He had it all wrong; they too were mindflayer abductees and survivors of the crash landing.

They too, it turned out, had been made unwilling hosts of illithid parasites, inserted into their eyes by their captors, now squirming uncomfortably inside their skulls.

It would have been unwise to not ally with them. Especially in retrospect, once he witnessed their fighting abilities. He was quite impressed with the gith and knight in particular; what the former couldn’t kill with speed and ferocity, the latter made up for with a deliberate and heavy hand.

“Well,” he said to the knight. “I do apologize for our botched introductions. To think, I was ready to decorate the ground with your innards!” He laughed flippantly and knew it.

She gave him a rueful glare.

“To think, I was ready to do the same. Your name?”

He was surprised at her voice, deeper than he imagined. Her face betrayed her age, it seemed.

“My name’s Astarion,” he replied. “I was in Baldur’s Gate when those beasts snatched me.”

“Like myself, then,” she mused. “I’m Mireille.”

“Mireille?” he repeated, brightening. “Enchanté, mademoiselle.”

“I’m hardly in the mood to entertain you after your little stunt,” she said coldly. “Let’s just make it to camp. Oh, how my head throbs.”

He tried to stomach the disdain he felt in the very pit of his soul. The prospect of traveling with two painfully dour religious zealots and their militant gith associate was daunting. He couldn’t imagine a less glamorous bunch to be stuck with.

Still, he’d join them. Just for now, while he reoriented himself and plotted on what to do next.

As he lay on his bedroll and contemplated the stars, he remembered the strangest thing.

The party had determined that the parasites, like their mindflayer masters, had their own psionic abilities. The worms in their skulls granted them a new power, a sort of unstable telepathy.

He worried. Upon meeting, there was a moment his mind seemed to meld with the knight’s, his own recollections of his last night before capture flashing through his mind’s eye; the dark streets of the Lower City, scanning for drunkards and wayward tourists to take back to his Master’s palace. 

Had she seen enough? Surely there hadn’t been anything that would have revealed his true nature to her in that brief instant.

The visions had been punctuated with unfamiliar and horrific scenes of raw viscera, stacks of mutilated bodies, and a white-hot, searing pain that ripped through his skull.

He wondered if these visions belonged to her.

[t-z-random]

Sanctuary of Nightmares PT9

Platonic SB x Child Reader

Chapter Selection

Previous / Next

A/n: First off hey guys! Don't forget to @ me if you make artwork for this story! I love seeing the stuff you guys make! And don't be afriad to spam either! I am but a gremlin in search of y'alls amazing work!

Second, just a Quick question. Would you guys like longer chapters with longer wait times between each chapter or do y'all prefer to keep it the way it is with brief chapters and semi-regular updates? I'm not sure which one I like more so it's up to you guys.

Meanwhile

Vanessas feet hurriedly tapped down the eerily empty hall of the once bustling area of entertainment with her face held in the same scowl she had started the night in. Her flashlight shined in hand, illuminating the darker areas of the kid's dreamland as she walked. It wasn't long before the never-ending tune of the daycare reached her ears, the sound as grating as it was the first time she heard it. Why did they play the music during the night anyway? What's the point if not to annoy her and her only?

She let the thought fall to the back of her mind as she focused on the task at hand. She had checked in with some of the others earlier, but she hadn't checked in with Sun since the start of her shift, so she thought it best to do so before she went to turn out the lights. The last thing she wanted was an encounter with Moon right now. She still has nightmares from her first meeting with it. Granted she hadn't had full security clearance that first night so it chasing her made sense, but that didn't make her hate the robot any less.

But none of that wasn't important right now. She could think endlessly on that later. Right now she had to find that little brat that had made his way into the pizzaplex as if he WANTED to become another lost child to the Fazbear machine. Not to mention she still had her normal work to do and to top it all off a splitting headache every time she'd come down from whatever she did in that Bunny suit! And it was only the beginning of the night! If this was how the rest of her night was going to go then she didn't want to stick around.

Then again, it wasn't like she had much of a choice...

Blinking the blank stare from her face her scowl returned as she walked towards the playing music, soon making it to the wide doors of the daycare. She pushed the button to open said doors, her frustration only growing with each passing moment she spent off task.

When the doors did eventually open, her eyes turned to every corner of the daycare in search of the two-faced bot. When she didn't see the familiar animated animatronic her scowl only grew, her patience thinning.

"Sun! Sun I know you're in here! Where are you!?" She yelled, the sound of her voice carrying in the vacant room. It went on, the noise of her echo being the only voice she heard back.

"Sun!" She yelled again, the frustration now openly held in her tone. Again she received no answer but her own.

"Stupid robots, can't do a damn thing right" she muttered as she left the daycare and found her way up the stairs. She carried on down the halls, her objective to now get to its room. Her feet carried her there rather quickly, which she was grateful for. If she enjoyed anything about this job it would definitely be the workout seven hours of walking had given her.

Upon making it to its door she went to swiftly open it. She paused right before she did so though, her head swiveling to what had caught her eyes.

There the tall animatronic stood, though in a very different state than she was used to seeing it. A mishmash of Sun and Moon showed before her, four arms protruding and hunched next to a wall. She was about to call its name when she realized that the signature whirr of a fazbear animatronic didn't sound from the bot.

Dead. Because of course it is.

She huffed, stomping over to the machine that even when hunched stood a good foot taller than her. She did a quick glance to confirm her suspicion and found that, indeed, it had most definitely run out of battery.

Why was it even out here anyway? Chasing after that kid no doubt- but how did it end up here? And why did it merge-

'Now is not the time for questions' She thought as she quickly moved into work mode. She attempted to pull the bot, though she greatly overestimated her own strength as it didn't so much as budge. She let out a frustrated growl, letting go of the hunk of metal in favor of maybe thinking at least a little bit smarter than that. She looked around, trying to find some type of tool to get this thousand-ton metal machine where it needed to be. It only took her a moment for an idea to emerge, her feet moving the moment she thought of it.

She quickly grabbed a nearby cart before rolling it over to Sun- or Moon- what was it they called this thing again? She remembered a name they gave it when it merged. What was it-?

Dusk! That's what it was! Damn, that felt like so long ago now. She hadn't seen this form since her first day- frankly she was surprised she even remembered the name. Though she supposed it didn't matter that much since the design never saw the light of public eye.

Either way, she put the car next to the bot, making sure to lock it in place when she did so. Afterward, she went to the other side of it and, with as much strength as she could muster, she pushed the bot towards it.

It wobbled a little, slightly moving out of place before she gave a final shove and it tipped over into the cart with a thundering crash.

She jumped away, the terrifying clank of fallen metal spooking her for a moment. She quickly composed herself though; she didn't have any time to waste.

She quickly went back down the halls almost with a proud pep in her step after having solved that puzzle. I mean imagine how much more effort it would have been if that didn't work? She would have to call over one of the other animatronics! Or worse yet let Dusk stay there until the morning! The last thing she needs is less eyes around. Especially with how useless the others were proving themselves to be.

All of this sudden confidence faded away though when she realized she was heading right for the stairs which, you know, isn't too great when you have to bring a cart of hefty metal down a floor. She paused for a moment, her eyes narrowing as if her fury-filled glare would somehow bend the stairs into a ramp which to be fair, would have happened if it had the ability to do so.

After a moment of dwelling in her only furthering anger, she slowly looked up, her eyes landing on the nearby slide.

"I'm not doing that" she muttered to herself once again, her tone genuine in her belief that she, in fact, would not be doing that.

However she was quickly losing her last ounce of patience and after another quick survey of another way down she realized that, as much as she wished it not to be, it seems that was her only way down.

'Why me? What did I do to deserve any of this?' She thought with loathing flooding her body, her feet moving of their own volition despite the protest of her mind. After an agonizing few seconds she stood at the top of the slide and, without any hesitation, she angled the cart and lifted. She struggled for a few moments, this task being even harder than the one of shoving it into the cart in the first place. In fact it was nearly impossible. But fueled by bitter hatred and a sudden fury that burned through her skin she was able to angle it just high enough for the bot to mostly slip out of the cart. When she placed the cart back down and realized that it hadn't fully fallen she let out a low growl. It's limp body now laid half in the cart and half in the slide.

"Fuck this job, fuck this stupid fucking job" she laid down a string of curses when-

"No swearing in the daycare!"

An automated message played, startling her with a jump before she realized what it was. Afterward her stare turned deadly

'I'll do whatever the fuck I want' she thought, though she knew better than to outwardly argue with the prerecorded message, as much of a stress reliever it would be. Instead, she took a deep breath, suppressing her anger back down to a sudden calm before she crawled on top of the cart and over the halfway-out bot until she was in the slide, using the grip of her shoes and hands not to fall. Once she knew she was secure she quickly grabbed onto the arms of the bot and, using the force of her own weight and some gravity, she pulled down on it, tugging as hard as she could. It moved just enough to show that progress was made but just under what she could mentality take. She only proceeded to pull harder on the bot, using her nonexistent final grain of sanity to put into each pull.

"Just-...come-...dow-!" With a final tug the bot was loose and so went her footing, the two of them tumbling down the multicolored slide at an only increasing speed until, with a rainbow blur and the sound of hollow plastic, they both finally landed in the ball pit. With a short struggle that resembled what one would look like while drowning she was able to pull herself up, her once tight ponytail now a mess of blonde strands. Her head swiveled around to find that beside her, covered in colorful balls, was the animatronic she had worked so hard to get down here.

She was surprised to see that it still had all its pieces attached.

After a moment to let the shock wash over her she let out a held breath, her previous panic slowly dissipating.

She had gotten lucky. One extra tumble and she could have been caught under that thing. She could only imagine how mortifying it would have been to have to call one of the stars to come get her unpinned from the ball pit. She shivered at the thought, her face twisted tightly at the image that popped into her head.

However, she was once again wasting time which was a resource she didn't have much of at the moment. So she pulled herself up, the river of colorful plastic reaching her knees. She tried not to imagine how disgustingly dirty the ball pit was as she looked down at the partially covered bot.

How was it that this thing charged again? She knew it wasn't a recharge station since there weren't any in the daycare for it to use. But it was some sort of wire-

Wire! That's it!

Her head swiveled around, searching for the wire nearby. Her eyes scanned and scanned until eventually they landed on just what she was looking for...

And it hung a few hundred feet in the air, completely out of touch.

She glared at it, the so-close-yet-so-far savior almost taunting her. She let her thoughts turn a moment as she tried to figure out what to do now...

How did they even get up there in the first place!?

The passing thought grew in her mind until her eyebrows furrowed and her glare turned to a stare of confusion

How did they even get up there?

There was some type of gesture right? Or maybe some sort of verbal call? A button perhaps? No no, it had to be something only it could do. Otherwise someone might get electrocuted and there were enough lawsuits as it is. So how did they do it?

She looked back to the bot in search of some silent answer when it suddenly dawned on her.

She reached down, uncovering the arm of the bot before holding it up to look at the palm of it. She felt disappointment rack her system as she realized her hypothesis was incorrect. No button to call a wire nor a visable form of magnet.

At least that was until she heard a tugging noise, causing her to immediately turn toward where it had come from. And what more fortunate timing could there be as she was able to spot the rapidly moving wire just in time for her to throw herself into the ball pit and away from the flying cable. She stayed ducked a moment, the sudden adrenaline rush causing her to freeze. It only took a few seconds for her to snap out of it though as she quickly stood, once again putting the thought of the likely filthy ball pit to the back of her mind. She instead narrowed her eyes onto the wire that was now tightly gripped in dusk's hand.

Welp...at least she got it down.

She moved over to the bot once again, her hands on her hips as she looked over the animatronic. She was once again blessed with luck, the bot already flipped on its back. If it had landed any other way she'd likely be in for another ten minutes of pulling to get this thing rolled over.

She grabbed the bot's hand, not daring to try to open it and grab the wire herself. She then bent its arm back into a potion that, while she was sure most humans couldn't accomplish, the metallic joints of the bot easily withstood. With a few twists and turns she was able to get the wire to reach its upper back, the plug sliding in with a rough push that took her a moment to get. When she finally did she took a few steps back to make sure she'd done it right. Once she heard a sudden shock and the signature whirring of machinery she let out a heavy sigh, soon moving to leave the ball pit and sit on the ledge to wait for it to boot back up. It was a few minutes of silence before-

"Its ok-ok-okay!"

It yelled before jumping up, the plastic balls covering them falling all around as they turned their heads in an absolute panic.

Wheredidyougowheredidyougowheredidyougowheredidyougowheredidyougo-

"What the hell happened out there?" A voice caught their sensors, their head swiveling to see who was talking to them. Upon seeing Vanessa they froze, a sudden dread sinking into their metal as they realized what had happened.

They had run out of battery...

You were long gone by now.

"I need an answer" she demanded, their wandering thoughts coming back to the current situation. Words left almost instinctively before they could stop them.

"We were chasing a [little one][kiddo]"

Their voice echoed, parts of both of the counterparts shining through the mesh of their combined voice for small moments.

Vanessa stood, wiping herself down as she did so. She was so going to need a shower after tonight.

"Figures. Doesn't surprise me that the little brat got the best of you. He's been getting under everyone's skin- or uh...metal" she slightly rambled, the flow of her frustration found in her honest words. Dusk remained frozen for a moment as they realized how lucky they were that she hadn't known the truth of their words.

"Anyway, you didn't happen to see which way he went, did you?" She asked with an increasing hope in her voice. That hope was immediately snuffed out when they shook their head.

"No. We ran out of [charge][battery]"

They answered with just as much disappointment spreading through their systems as was shown on Vanessa's face.

"Of course" she grumbled, her eyes vacantly staring for a moment as her mind wandered to where the hell this kid could be.

"Great. Well keep an eye out and contact me if you find him. Everyone has full clearence for the night though, so don't surprised to see the others around" she half spoke to them as she began walking away, her steps soon fading out. She stopped at the door though, her head turning to look back at them for one last moment as a hint of recollection showed on her face.

"Oh and uh, whatever this is-" she yelled, gesturing to them as she did so.

"Isn't my problem. So don't make it" she finished before pushing the button for the large doors and walking out of them. They didn't move for a few extra moments, the shock slowly settling into their wires before the silence couldn't last any longer.

"We lost the [little lamb] [small sunflower]"

They murmured to themselves, the realization of what that meant sinking into their circuits.

'Oh no oh no oh no! What do we do, what do we do! They were so scared of us Moon- scared of me! I scared a child! Oh no oh no oh no oh no-'

'Calm down...' Moon interjected Sun's thoughts, silence taking over for a moment before a sudden burning flew through their wires.

'You' Sun started, his tone darker than Moon had ever heard it.

'This is your fault. Everything was fine until- until you- you-' Sun stopped, unable to finish his sentence as he tried to push down the presence of his counterpart. He was surprised, however, when there was strong resistance.

'Get out! You- You ruined it! YOU RUINED IT' Sun yelled in his own mind, a stinging pain now bursting through their wires, their hands raised to their head as Sun continued to push in blinded anger.

'Get out get out get out get out get out get out get out get out-'

"S T o P!"

Moon let out a growling yell, his voicebox crackling with robotic rage. The sudden burst of sound from the usually whispering animatronic shocked Sun still, his push quickly turning to a full retreat. Fear took over him as he felt the control of their body leaving him.

"You can't put me back- I'm not going ba-ba-back. Stop trying to get rid-rid of me!"

Moons voice continued to crackle and in some places stutter, his tone passionate yet pleading. Their hands moved away from their head, instead balling into fists infront of them.

What did he do to deserve this? Why did he hate him so much? It was an accident it was all an accident he didn't want to hurt anyone- he tried to warn them- he tried- but everything was so dark and muffled and he had no control he had no control he had no control-

Their grip immideatly loosened as the sudden anger Moon felt completely dissipated. Their head slowly turned, as if Moon would somehow see Sun there. But even though the space was empty he didn't have to see his counterpart feel his fear. Having spent so long as a whisper in Suns mind he knew him better than any other. He could feel Suns fear as if it were his own, especially when that fear was familar to himself.

The fear of having no control. Of being the one subject to someone else's rules. Of watching another's actions through your own eyes and pleading to so much as speak a word of your own.

'Sorry' was the only word Moon could think to say as he quickly gave back partial control of the body. He was unable to think of anything to say to justify his outburst nor find a way to explain why he had the reaction that he did. He just...

He didn't want to go back to that void.

As Sun slowly took back control he felt more confused than anything. How, even in the light, did he no longer have power? Why didn't Moon just take their body? Why did Moon's whispered tones turn into to crackling pleas? All were questions he had no answers too. But what did Sun learn from all of this?

He wasn't in control anymore.

'We should search for them...' Sun quickly changed the subject, choosing to pretend like nothing had happened. They turned their heads to the daycare exit. While Moon remained silent, he gave no resistance to their moment meaning they did agree on at least one goal, and that goal meant that they were able to move their body as one.

For now at least.

- x -

Tag list closed

Couldn't tag for some reason on another -> @hellsfinestwine

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[amiandthechaos]

There's Something About You - Andreil - 1.7k - chaotic song inspired one shot

There's something about you and I don't know what. 

Neil had never had neither the time nor the energy for music. He'd recognize extremely popular songs that he and his mom would hear on the radio whenever they got into a car and needed to pretend to be normal. The same pop songs sometimes were also played in malls or supermarkets but Neil had never had a head for lyrics and he didn't find that kind of music very enjoyable anyway. 

Andrew knew this. Neil would share small details about his life on the run and every piece would click into place in Andrew's mind, forming a large picture of those tragic chapters in Neil's life. 

Neil's life was still tragic, but at least he didn't have to use all his mental energy in trying to stay alive. 

Which is why Andrew introduced him to music. Basically all music as Neil hadn't known of the existence of anything but generic, chewed out, sparkly pop, and despite not considering himself a connoisseur, Andrew at least had more taste than that. 

Andrew gave Neil an old mp3 player for him to take on his runs, filled with Andrew's favorite songs. 

Unfortunately, Nicky took it upon himself to 'update' Neil's mp3 with something that wasn't 'played by a dead guy or someone who wished he was dead' which Andrew thought was unfair because he didn't see how could purely electronic music could sound like death. Still, he wasn’t about to fight Nicky over such nonsense.

But Neil didn't seem to mind, he let Nicky put anything in there as long as he didn't bother Neil with stories about the personal lives of the musicians or their celebrity partners. 

So it wasn't unusual to hear Neil mumble a song under his breath every once in a while. 

I can't keep straight when I look into your eyes. 

Neil made himself a pre-workout shake in the kitchen while Andrew drank coffee in the living room. 

"You know how to play it right, yeah you took me by surprise…" 

Andrew would have asked Neil what song that was since it sounded more like a pop punk, Blink-182, Taking Back Sunday kind of song than Nicky's usual repertoire, but the lyrics were so bad he didn't even think he wanted to know. 

"The way you're talking sounds like it's another long night…" 

Yeah, Andrew didn't wanna know. He watched Neil in his running shorts and t-shirt, armbands secured and hair still messy from bed, and sipped his coffee peacefully. 

"Yeah your mustache tickles my nutsack baby you know that's fine with me…" 

Andrew spat his coffee all over the floor. 

Neil spun around and looked at the mess with wild eyes. "Shit, are you all right?" 

Andrew coughed twice, putting the coffee cup down and trying to breathe normally again. 

"I got it," Neil said as he jogged over with a bunch of paper napkins. "You spilled most of it. Want me to make you another one?" 

Andrew shook his head and helped Neil clean up the mess while deciding he had misheard what Neil had sung. He must have. Neil had mumbled the words, barely intelligible, and Andrew's mind had filled in the blanks. That was all. 

"Okay, I'm going. See you at practice later." Neil leaned over to kiss the top of Andrew's head, earning himself an annoyed look from Andrew that he answered with a smile. 

Andrew waved at him before he closed the door, not yet ready to talk after so little coffee and nearly choking to boot. 

. 

"You say you wanna cover my face with love so maybe, I’ll find out and see…”

Neil was singing the song, again. 

He repeated the parts Andrew had already heard, but when it came to the part that nearly had him drowning, Neil walked into the bathroom and Andrew couldn’t hear a thing. Not that it bothered him, something so stupid wasn’t about to ruffle his metaphorical feathers.

He returned to his book, trying to get rid of his homework before the weekend since he wanted to go to Columbia. 

Minutes later, Neil walked out of the bathroom, silently getting ready for his afternoon classes. 

“Want anything from the store when I get back?” Neil asked, bag in hand and tragically large clothes hanging off his body.

“Cereal. We’re out.”

Neil nodded and this time merely smiled as a goodbye before leaving. 

But outside the door, Andrew heard it. 

“So throw it back, yeah, just like that, you know just how to do it, that ass is fat…”

His voice was becoming quieter, but Andrew pushed off his desk and sprinted to the door as fast as possible. He threw it open but it was too late; Neil was gone. 

A student coming up the stairs froze when she saw Andrew there with a very plausible wild look on his face. He merely stared her down before spinning on his heel and slamming the door behind him. 

.

About two weeks went by where Andrew didn’t hear Neil sing the song again. He’d almost forgotten about it, even though every now and then the quiet echo of Neil’s voice saying ‘that ass is fat’ bounced inside Andrew’s brain and made him feel like he was losing his mind. 

That Friday night the Foxes had won their first game of the season, and as usual, they celebrated down in the basements. Neil was in an insufferable good mood and let himself be dragged down and even had a couple of shots. Andrew left right away, but he could tell by the way Neil moved that he wasn’t 100% sober. Andrew wasn’t either, evidenced by the slowly emptying bottle between his feet. 

But they were both back in their dorm and that was all that mattered. 

Neil decided they needed food and set out to make sandwiches which promised to be awful. Andrew distracted himself meanwhile by ripping off the whiskey bottle’s label and methodically rolling tiny paper balls to hit Neil with. 

Neil paid him no mind, which was the opposite of what Andrew wanted, but he’d come around soon enough. 

“-...we can go fast, we can take it slow, got your claw in my back I’m your little hoe…” 

Andrew stopped, frozen with a paper ball in between his fingers. What the fuck.

“He spreads my cheeks and he makes me scream, he’s my number one daddy gonna make him cream inside of me… just keep riding me…”

Every word was like a punch to Andrew’s gut and he briefly wondered if this was karma getting him back for swinging that racket at Neil when they met. Good thing he didn't believe in karma. 

He wanted to ask Neil what the fuck was happening, but his mouth seemed useless. And when his shock and confusion started to decrease, Neil started again.

“When I’m slurping him down it’s my favorite sound, you let out a little moan, what a beautiful tone so softly… just keep riding me…”

He wasn’t sure what part of it was, but something finally made Andrew react, and he got off the couch and strode purposefully towards Neil. Neil, of course, heard him coming and spun around to face him. “Want mustard in yours?”

Andrew probably got too close into Neil’s space to be perceived as casual, but Neil didn’t seem to mind. “What the fuck are you singing?”

Neil cocked his head to the side. “What? That song from before? I don’t know, it was in my mp3.” 

Andrew looked into Neil’s stupid, currently dopey, blue eyes and considered him. He was an idiot and he was going to be the death of Andrew’s sanity, and at various points in the past Andrew actually thought he might be the most clueless person in the world, but despite everything, he knew Neil wasn’t actually a fool. He just liked acting like one.

“Do you know it? It’s the one that goes… So let’s go talk about it, you look so sexy when your hands are wrapped around it,”

“Shut up-” Andrew wrapped his hands around Neil’s upper arms in warning.

“Flip me over beat my meat up while you pound it, while you pound it….”

His ears felt hot and he was sure his face had gone an embarrassing shade of red and he couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. 

He tightened his grip on Neil. 

“You got a way with the words and a big fat co-”

Andrew covered Neil’s mouth with his hand, a strange and thoroughly unfamiliar mix of anger and embarrassment swirling inside him. 

Neil looked at him for a second, and then started laughing behind Andrew’s hand. The sound was muffled and his skin vibrated with it, but with each passing second Neil laughed more and more and Andrew took too long to realize Neil had been fucking with him for weeks. 

“You…” Andrew didn’t even know what insult to throw at him. He just kept hearing Neil’s voice say all those things and felt his ears get hot all over again. 

Tears were forming at the corner of Neil’s eyes. Andrew had never seen him laugh so much. It was making him feel twice as embarrassed, but also… lighter somehow. 

Infected with something disgusting. 

Andrew snorted, the sound loud and unexpected even to his ears. It shook Neil out of his laughter, eyes opening in interest. 

Andrew schooled his face into a blank expression, not sure what emotion he was even showing anymore. He dropped his hand from Neil’s face. 

“You laughed,” Neil said. Not a question. 

“I did not.” 

Neil was smiling, face flushed from laughing. He didn’t move from where he was, didn’t push it. 

Andrew hated him. 

“Never sing that song again,” he told Neil pointedly.

“Okay,” Neil answered easily. “I’ll find something else that makes you laugh.” 

Andrew stared at him. Neil stared back. 

“Hurry up and come to the couch.” He turned and picked up the bottle from the floor before sitting back again. 

Neil kept smiling and returned to the sandwiches. Andrew watched him, wondering if Neil Josten would ever stop surprising him.

[thehoneybeast]

Collide (Silco/fem!Reader 8)

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Okay so, this was going to be the last part of the story, I'm not really happy how I progressed so far, but I rewrote the chapter a bunch so that it is now going into the direction I want it to. Not really happy with the writing, but it isn't my first language so what can you expect?

I won't update as frequently anymore (maybe you noticed already) but I will continue it for now.

The second you returned to consciousness, a groan left your lips. You entire body felt stiff and was throbbing with pain but you still forced your eyes open. There was a dark ceiling above you amd despite your bruised body, you could feel the softness of a mattress against your back, a heavy blanket keeping you warm. Distorted images of what had happened flashed through your mind, making the desire stronger to sit up. You ignored the pain in your chest and, well, everywhere else, forcing yourself onto your elbows in order to be able and take in the place you were in. It didn't take long to remember those heavy curtains and the overall dark and comfortable aura of the place. You were in Silcos bedroom. In his bed, to be exact. Your hands pulled the blanket away, revealing that your entire upper body was wrapped up in bandages. Oh right. You had been beaten. Your fingers softly caressed your chest, feeling a slight sting underneath your ribcage. Someone had saved you from a punctured lung. Sighing, you laid back against the pillow. How was it, that ever since you left the comfort of your little shag, you had been injured more then in ten years before that. It had hardly been three months and you could already show of a new collection of scars and bruises. Whatever. You had to talk to Silco. Actually, just see him. Be sure that he was there. You knew it was an irrational desire, easily tracked back to your growing attachment to the slender man but you decided that right now, it was okay to be irrational. Another memory showed up, it was blurry and more sound than sight but it was still very vibrant. Had.. had you really confessed your love? And had he actually done the same?? Your head started to spin and you pushed yourself back up, turning for your legs to slip over the edge of the mattress, carefully stepping onto the ground. Everything hurt, the muscles tense and the flesh crying out but you needed to make sure that you hadn't been dreaming. It suddenly turned into your highest priority to confirm that, even if you would die right afterwards. You knew that it was irresponsible, had you told so many of your patients that other things could wait, but now that is was you and your aching heart you didn't care anymore. With uncertain steps you made your way to the door that would lead you into his office. You heard voices, more than one but you just couldn't stop now. Silco was all that was in your mind, him and his stupid, attractive voice calling your name, saying those words no one would ever expect from his scarred lips. You didn't even have the decency to knock, your body nearly falling in with the open door, struggling to keep you on your feet.

The voices stopped, your hazy mind took notice of Sevika, leaning on Silcos desk, visible upset but frozen upon hearing the door opening and there, in his fancy chair set the man you had been searching for, his eyes widening ever so slightly at the sight of you. A weak smile grazed your lips as he rose abruptly from his seat, a distant look of anger on his face. "What are you doing here?! Go back to bed!" Sevika rolled his eyes, scoffing at your interruption. Silco made his way over to you and you felt the familiar intensifying of your heartbeat. "Good to see you, too." You joked but he seemed even less amused than usual, grabbing you by your shoulder to stop you from moving any further. "You of all people should know how to treat injuries like yours!" He growled but oh, the way the pain faded when his breath hit your face. "Don't be stupid, he is right." Sevika joined the scolding. "You need to rest." Silco already pushed against you, shoving you back into the hallway. "I need to talk to you, Silco. I'm not laying down until we did that." Silco ignored your weak attempts of resistance, his grip tightening when you stumbled over your own legs. Sevika stayed behind, watching you with crossed arms and a frown, but she seemed to understand that you two had private things to discuss so she closed the door.

Back in his bedroom, he let go of you, locking the door to his office. He sighed, his back turned to you, his shoulders stiff as he ran a hand through his hair. "Lay down, then we will talk." His tone didn't leave room for arguments and so you complied, happy to have him by your side. Your head was still throbbing but the warmth of the blankets was welcoming. Silco sat on the edge of the bed, staring of into the room. He was obviously not excited to talk but he was here and willing to listen so you took your chance. "I love you." Silence. "I meant it. And I still mean it, obviously." You chuckled nervously, a little upset that he didn't react, instead he lowered his head into his hands, forearms resting on his knees, massaging his scalp. You swallowed, suddenly insecure again. "I- ahm.." Okay, come on, you asked for this, don't back down now. "Okay, listen. I know this is weird. Believe me, I feel the same. I didn't expect to fall in love with you of all people, but it happened and I do see why. This is not a, 'Oh god, why him?' More of a 'This is going to be complicated' kind of question, you know?" God, what were you talking about? And why didn't he even look at you?? Fumbling with the end of the blankets, you continued. "I know that we have different views on the wolrd, but I admire what you are trying to do, I really do. You're.. You're a strong headed men and you know what you want, you're willing to accept the consequences of your actions, for better or worse and you are so damn stubborn." You took a deep breath. This could push him away from you, destroy what fragile bond you had formed but you knew you had to risk it.

"But you are just human, Silco. You're no evil monster, your intentions are good, even if morally corrupted. You deserve to be vulnerable once in a while, you deserve to feel save." Heat shot into your cheeks but you kept going, not sure if you could start again if you stopped now. "You know, because that's how I feel with you. In your arms I feel save, I feel protected, I feel like there is a place I belong and it is you, dear god, it's you. You feel like home to me. And I - I want to give you the same. I want to protect you. Make you feel calm, feel loved." Your voice was shaking now, the missing response from him made you doubt everything you had hoped to believe. Were you making a fool of yourself for pouring out your heart? "I.. I want to be with you. Everytime I leave I just want to run right back to you, I wanted so badly to tell you but-"

"Shut up." His words had your mind blanking, your heart seemingly closing in on you. Then he turned around and underneath his harshly furrowed brows were his eyes, silent tears skimming over his cheeks in a bizarre contrast to the anger in his expression. It had you scared. "I thought you were DEAD!" His voice was venomous and shrill and you shrank down against the sheets. "First I thought you had left for good, then I am told that you were probably DYING and you have the fucking nerve to tell me that you feel SAVE?!" Oh dear. The pain inside his eyes was overwhelming and it had your eyes tearing as well. "You are the biggest moron I have met in all my life, running around as if the world is a paradise, spending your time on worthless acts of kindness while it beats you down and you still believe that there is any hope left? And you think I am the one to keep you save, when all you gain from joining my cause is bruises and broken bones?"

He was furious, that much you could certainly tell. But the worry in his words was just as present, sending you into a spiral of chaotic thoughts thas was promptly ended with his hand grabbing your cheek, forcing you to keep eyecontact. "Do you really think I need protection? Do you ever think about what you need?!" His voice was desperate and the next words left your lips without thinking. "I need you, Silco. You are all I want." He shook his head slightly, as if he couldn't believe you were saying this. "You're an idiot, Y/N." His words were soft and any doubt was washed away, when he leaned in, his lips caressing yours in the gentlest manner, as if you would shatter on impact. Without another word, he climbed over you, wrapping you up in his arms and carefully pulled you closer, mindimg every little bruise he might brush. When your head rested on his chest, his chin on top your head, he started speaking again. "I was scared. My, I think I was only ever this scared when Jinx.." he stopped, fear briefly flaming up in his eyes, pressed a kiss to your temple, as if securing that you were with him. "You shouldn't feel save around me." You found sadness in his tone, a melancholy as if he remembered times where it could've been different. He was being vulnerable in oh so delicate ways. "What happened had nothing to do with you. I just happened to have bad luck." He looked down at you, wiping the remains of unshed tears away. "You shouldn't be out there alone." He whispered, his voice so deep and thoughtful that it had you smiling. "You shouldn't be here, at all. It doesn't make sense." As if scared that you would run at his realisation, his grip tightened. "But I want you with me." Hearing him say that had your heart swelling and you leaned up to kiss his chin, before nestling your head into his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He looked down at you with heavy eyes and when he spoke again, his words had your eyes widening. "I thought about having you killed, just this morning." Your throat closed up as you cautiously looked back up, his grip on you was gentle and his eyes were pleading with you to understand when he continued. "But the second I thought you were dead in Sevikas arms, I realised that I was lying to myself. I don't want youti dissappeare." His hand found your cheek and you felt the hesitation in his movements. "I love you, Y/N."

There it was. The words you had wanted to hear. And yet, something inside you clung onto the words before it. 'I thought about having you killed'. That was not what you had expected but it shouldn't suprise you. It made perfect sense for him to terminate a person so involved into his plans and still, it left you with a feeling of despair. Your stomach turned and you sat up, bringing distance between the two of you, looking the other way. "You.. you wanted to.." "Listen, you said it yourself, it is complicated." Silcos voice was insistent, he sat up as well, turned your head towards him, forcing you to see the regret in his eyes. "You should be standing against me, you should want me dead. Instead you saved my life." Both of his hands held your head now, determined to make you believe his words, to focus on what he said now. "Allow me to keep you save. Allow me to prove my intentions with you." He moved in on you his forehead pressed up against yours, his breath grazing your lips, his eyes piercing into yours. Your gaze switched between his good and his bad eye, one a mix of green and blue, gentle and human, the other a black universe with a pulsing sun, a perfect representation of who he was and what people believed him to be. Men and monster. No. You could never run from this torn men, no matter how foolish or dangerous it was and so you exhaled a shuddering breath before reaching your hands to his shoulders and pulling him into you, your head resting on his shoulder as you held him close against your heart. His arms fell to your sides, returning your embrace with less intensity, still aware of the injuries you had already forgotten about. He pulled you down againstthe sheets, never breaking the contact, his voice shaking in your ear. You didn't want to press the matter anymore, enjoying the new found intimacy that left you a little closer, a little less afraid.

"I will keep you save. No one will hurt you ever again." He spoke the promise with a tired voice and despite the irrationality of it, you found utter sincerity in his words. Your arms held onto him a little tighter, clinging onto the warmth he was spreading with his words and body, wanting nothing more than to stay like this forever. "You don't have to be my hero. Just be with me as the person you are. That is all I ask of you." Your reply was a whisper, the emotions and pain of your body pulling you back down into the desire to sleep for another day or two. He kissed you softly, one hand finding the back of your head, gently running his fingers through your hair in a soothing manner. "You are too generous for your own good." You heard the smile in his voice and it infected you with your own. The feeling of safety he radiated had you relax as you slowly sank deeper into his embrace.

"Sometimes I am mot sure if you are real. No human could ever be so.." soft, deep breaths interrupted him and when he looked down he saw that you had fallen asleep in his arms once more. "Beautiful." He muttered to himself, pressing a kiss onto your forehead. He had just told you, that he had thought about killing you and yet you had found the courage to trust in his words and he was glad because he had meant every word he had spoken. To his own suprise, he felt no desire to push you away anymore, the feeling of comfort finally settling into his bones.

The next weeks, you spend in his bed, following his wish to recover, though the boredom had you tight in its claws but he was resistant to any kind of argument, despite the fact that you knew what you were talking about. In the end you tried to go to your lab im secret, only to find the door to the hallway locked so the only free path would lead through Silcos office and when he wasn't around, he locked that door as well. You were annoyed and a little hurt in your pride that he didn't believe you to know what was best for your health, then again your remembered his unhealthy relationship with Jinx and the way he had nearly lost her once as well and after that it made a little more sense. He would visit you every evening, unless he worked into the night, then he would sleep in his office in order to not disturb your slumber, which in return had you angry at him for not taking care of himself either, though he wouldn't hear any of it. Whenever he would find his way into bed, you would welcome him with open arms and he would tell you about his day after he asked about your condition. He always looked sceptical when you told him it was improving and you would show him the fading bruises to make his doubt dissappear, though you started to believe that he was only searching for excuses to touch your skin, sometimes followed by a monologue about how your body deserved to be treasured. It was sweet and good minded but you always felt a little useless, unable to provide any progress on your work, despite his assurances that the gem was safe and would be waiting for you to recover.

When the last faded rest had disappeared, he was all over you, spending half the day by your side, making sure you could enjoy every little piece of pleasure he put you under, his hunger for you translated into gentle passion that had you shaking and clinging to him for dear life, until both of you were satisfied and happily exhausted.

It was exciting to leave his room and return to your lab for the first time since the almost-abduction and you were excited to continue, motivated and inspired all the same. The small marble was sitting on your desk and as you layed eyes on it, you felt something within you move. Energy. You laughed at that, feeling like your body was just as excited to be back at it as you were. You would have to take someone with you this time, that much was sure, Silco wouldn't just let you head out like nothing had happened. So you packed up, got dressed and returned to his office. He seemed a little more relaxed than usual, most likely thanks to your attention and it made you smile.

"Hey, boss." You winked at him and he rolled his eyes but you saw the amusement glistening in them. "Already up to work again, huh?" He mused, leaning back in his chair. "Well, it seems I was never in better condition than today, thanks to your insistence I suppose." A hint of pride filled his eyes at your words and your smile grew as you walked over to him. "Can I borrow Sevika for today? I don't really like the headless gorillas you keep around besides her." He raised a brow, his scarred lips twitched at that. "Depends. What do I get for lending you my most loyal employee?" The hint of a smile crossed his lips and you scoffed in played annoyance, before leaning over his desk with a teasing smile. "Hmm.. Who knows? Mayyybe we could arrange something after work hours? Perhaps some form of.. favor?" Now he was the one scoffing, before he stood up, took your chin between his fingers and connected your lips. "Take her. I will make sure the payment will be fitting." You chuckled, pressed a short kiss to his nose and turned for the door. "See you later, boss!" You winked again and this time a short chuckle left his lips, a pleasent sound to leave him with.

The idea of taking Sevika with you had sounded great in your head, but when you informed her about it, she didn't seem to happy. "So I have to watch you dance around in field for the entire day? What a blast." She got up from her position at the bar, towering over you. "Jeah, sorry. Silco wouldn't let me leave without any form of protection, so.." You smiled apologetically at her but she just grabbed your bag and threw it over her shoulder instead, motioning for you to lead the way. The walk was quiet and it suddenly accured to you, that she might not even know what it was your job was besides treating wounds. "Did.. Did Silco tell you-" "What you are doing? That magic shit? Jeah, he did. Sounds like crap to me but maybe you will prove me wrong today?" Oh great, no pressure please. You chuckled nervously, watching the ground you were walking. "Jeah.. I'm relearning it currently so it's not the most amazing stuff but I'm getting better." Oh wow, please don't sound to confident. You walked in silence after that and you started to feel uncomfortable so you decided to initiate another topic. "How did you end up working for Silco, by the way? I heard you used to be a gang leader?" The sharp look she gave you had you questioning whether that was a good idea but she answered eventually. "I used to be that, yes. That was when Vander was leading the undercity." You heard an underlying despise in her voice. Vander. That name had reached your ears once in while, back when you had been working alone. If you remembered correctly, he had even reached out to you once or twice, asking you to work with him, something about having the same hopes for the people but you had never answered to any of it. You had been sceptical over what you heard about him, had been too proud to ever consider working underneath someone else. Well, look at you now. "He was weak. He refused to take action against Piltower, he refused to do what was necessary. So I found someone with the same determination like mine and Silco seemed fitting for that role. So far I don't regret that choice." She looked straight ahead and you felt her believe in what she said. Yes, Silco had changed the undercity, that much was certain. You stopped yourself from thinking about it too much, focusing on the task at hand and when you reached your spot by the river, you found yourself relaxing. Work was what you needed. Sevika made an displeased expression, scrunching her nose in disgust. "You come here, of all places?!" Shrugging your shoulders, you took your bag from her, fishing out the small marble. "The river flow is a good teacher. The area is almost always empty and you get used to the smell rather quickly." She rolled her eyes and sat down on one of the ruins pieces, watching you with crossed arms.

It was easy, ignoring her once you focused on the gem and started to feel its power. You started with familiar motions, trying to get a feeling of todays energy and when you caught it, it was overhelming. Your energy resources had been growing over the last months, the training doing its job, but it seems that some rest had been necessary to reach an entire new level of mass. It made you giggle with delight, when the first strike formed in the size of what usually would be your last attempt for the day. You heard a suprised grunt from your bodyguard and winked sheepishly at her, while letting the flow of energy swirl around you before sending it down onto the marble. To your utter shock, a noise like the cracking of ice rang in your ears, a flash of white blinding your sight momentarily and the feeling of heat zipped through your fingers, way stronger than it had on your first experiment. You stumbled backwards and your eyes widened whem you caught glimpse of a small crack in the marbles surface.

"Oh my god.." you stepped cautiously closer, mouth agape with awe at your work. "Finally! I'm coming for you, you little shit!" You exclaimed excitedly, raising your arms to start a second attempt, when the sound of an enormous explosion shook the ground. You caught yourself before falling, fear and horror striking your heart. That was not too far away. And you could smell the fire. Before you could voice your emotions, Sevika was next to you, pushing your bag into your hands. "Get your shit! We go home, NOW!" She sounded erratic, her eyes were wide awake, her movements hectic as she lead you back the way you two had just taken, nearly dragging you after her, her eyes checking every direction before entering the next road. You were busy trying to keep you nerves at bay, your heartbeat a loud and steady beating in your ears. When the last drop came into view, so did Silco. He wore his heavy coat over his shoulders, his usually stoic face a mask of fury but you also found a glimmer of relief in his eyes when he saw you.

"What happened?!" "Go inside! Sevika, you come with me." "Hey, don't ignore me!" You were confused and scared and he noticed that when he grabbed you by your shoulders, making you face him. "It is one of the factories. You need to go inside. Stay in our room until I return, do you understand me?" The anger was shadowing fear and that fuelled your own. But no, you were not being compliant right now. "I'm not a teenager you can send away whenever you feel like it! Where are you going?!" He closed his eyes, trying to keep his anger in check and you felt regret at your words. He was upset, clearly just as overwhelmed as everyone else but had to keep his face in order to be respected. You swallowed. "Sorry, I'm just worried. Don't be gone for too long, okay?" You reached for his face and his stiff shoulders relaxed a little at your touch, leaning his head into you. "Go inside." He repeated one last time, kissing your forehead before letting go if you and walking up to Sevika, most likely informing her of his plans. You watched after him for a moment, before following his order, heading for your lab instead of his bedroom. Had he called it our room? He had also kissed you outside of his private rooms for the first time, now that you thought about it. Despite the fear, the thought made you smile. When you passed the bar, a few men were sitting in the corner, you heard someone say something that made you stop. "-they will die there. Noone is stupid enough to go into that deathtrap to save some brats. The factory is in shambles." What? No one is stupid enough to save whom? You were afraid, that you could prove them wrong. "Excuse me, what were-" "Not now, ask later again." One interrupted you and it left you a little puzzled before another chipped in "Hey, not so fast! How much do you charge? I could use some stress release." He winked at you and your brain made the connection. Ew. "Well too bad for you, I'm not an escort girl so you better shut your mouth." You growled, ccrossing your arms. "Now spit it, who is going to die?" "None of your fucking business, whore." The third one joined in and you were just about ready to loose your temper. "Listen here, boy. I am the medic working for Silco and if you don't want to loose your most precious little friend next time that I have to stitch you back together, you better spill it out." You managed to keep your voice cold and demanding despite the anger itching under your skin.

You were back in your lab as soon as the men had explained. There were children in the factory when it was attacked. Children that were working for Silco. Children that were going to die in there and it seems that you just happened to be the one stupid enough to try and interfere with that.

@liv-victoriano @potato-dragons @sunflowercandie @motherswarrior @yesnessieme @eprilin @imalovernotahater @htmlbitxh @illiniana @silcovinzant @redsakura101 @faerieandfishsticks @stainedpomegranatelips @subbing-for-clones @fandoms-will-be-the-death-of-me @sana-within-you @oodanijadeoo @lenaexplorestheinternet @janilovecookies @shameshomalo @creepysupermarvelpaladin @shadow-pancake9 @komatheterrible @ilikemymendarkandfictional @the-not-so-iconic @rosenightwings @vaaalexandra @usualsworld @janesofia7 @ancientbeing10

[yourmidnightlover]

three, four squeezes

Summary- spencer finds watches you take what he thought was your last breath. turns out they weren't, but you're now in a coma. 

TW: coma, fem!reader, spencer pining, angst/fluff ig?, blood, gunshot

WC- 5,681

masterlist

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guilt.

regret.

pain.

fear.

spencer couldn't stop fiddling between as he rode with you in the back of the ambulance.

the guilt he felt as he realized that everything was his doing, his fault. if he wouldn't have froze and if he would've told you how he felt neither of you would be in this position.

the regret he had of never telling you how he felt. he never got to hold you as more than best friends and kiss you like he's wanted to so, so, so many times.

the pain of seeing you in so much pain. and the fear that worsened when you accepted the fact that you would die in his arms

the fear that the last time he held you was when you confessed your darkest secret to him. you never got to hear him tell you how much he truly loved you.

he took your much smaller hand in both of his and pressed it close to his chest, right on top of his heart as if he was trying to tell you what his heart had tried to make him.

he froze.

he shouldn't have froze.

he should've held you and told you how much he loved you. how much he wanted you. how much he's always wanted you.

he should've kissed you and never let you out of his sight. because maybe, just maybe, if he hadn't let you go then you would have never gotten hurt.

he was the reason you were dying.

he was lost in thought when the holter monitor held a steady, long beep. you had flatlined.

-

you felt the warmth radiating over your skin as you shifted in your position to sit up. you took in your surroundings.

you were in an endless pasture, filled with tall grass that would reach your knees if you had stood up. the sky was perfect, clear, baby blue color that you haven't seen in a while. you were laying on a red blanket with a picnic basket by your side.

the smell of fresh flowers and fresh grass filled your nose. the calming scent bringing you the peace that radiated around you as you observed further into this place.

you had on a flowy, pastel purple sun dress and a pair of white flats on. you turned your head to the side, only to notice you weren't alone.

"spencer!" you cheered excitedly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into your touch. "you're here," you breathed out.

"i am here," you felt the vibrations of his chuckle. "but you shouldn't be here."

you pulled back and looked at him confused. "wh-why not?"

"because," he pushed a strand of hair out of your face as he gazed into your eyes. "you need to go back, sweetheart."

a rush of memories flooded your brain.

you confessed your past, your regret, your love.

he didn't love you back.

you were shot.

"i... i don't want to go back," you admitted with furrowed brows. "i want to stay here. with you."

he looked at you with what seemed to be pity. he scooted closer to you and wrapped his arm around you to pull you closer to his body.

"you can be with me back there. you know that," he said as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

"no, i won't. not-" you took a deep breath, "not like this."

"but this isn't even real. i'm just a figment of your imagination. you're disassociating with your body, and i'm your safe place," he said nonchalantly, as if hearing that didn't break your heart even more.

"but i want to be with you, spence. i've ruined everything out there. you don't want me," you spilled, letting a tear slip past your eye and down your cheek.

"i will always want you, y/n. always," he assured you as he pressed a kiss to your hairline.

"how do you know?" you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"because i'm a genius. remember, sweetheart?" he chuckled.

"promise me?" you said as you turned around and held his hand, squeezing it in anticipation.

"i promise. go back, y/n. you need to go back." he repeated.

"not yet. just a little longer with you, please. just a little longer with you," you pleaded.

-

spencer had to let go of your hand so the doctors could get the defibrillator. he began shaking before he told himself to be strong. he had to be strong for you.

"please don't leave me..." he prayed for the first time in a while to a god he wasn't even sure he believed in. "don't die on me."

one of the paramedics ripped your shirt open so they could begin to start the chest compressions. spencer hated seeing you so helpless, lifeless, hopeless.

"charge to 260!" one of the doctors yelled before yelling clear and connecting it to your skin.

nothing.

"charge to 350!" she pressed it to your chest and abdomen one more time.

suddenly the monitor began beeping steadily again. you were alive. not okay, but you were breathing.

you had a heartbeat again.

you weren't leaving him yet.

"oh thank god!" he exclaimed as he watched the paramedics leave your side, allowing him to fill their void. he took hold of your hand once again and pressed his lips to it as he watched the paramedic on the other side of you monitoring everything going on with your status.

"thank you, y/n. thank you so much," he placed another kiss on your knuckles as he used his to wipe his tears away.

when you had made it to the hospital he decided to finally call morgan and garcia. he would let them know what happened, minus the whole love confession part, and ask them to alert the rest of the team.

morgan replied in asking if she was okay, and asked for the details later when he got there. garcia was just rushing to get out of her apartment and to the hospital to check on her 'little cherry blossom.'

garcia got there first no doubt breaking a few speed limits in the process, but he didn't mind because now he wouldn't be alone with his own mind. she engulfed spencer in her arms and let him sob it out as she did the same. she didn't ask what happened, she knew he would tell her when he was ready.

morgan took a bit longer, surprisingly. although, in his defense, he did live on the other side of town. upon arrival, he just placed a firm hand on spencer's shoulder and sat beside him in a seat, silently providing his own comfort.

jj was next to arrive. she was already in tears when garcia had called her to make her aware of the news. she gave spencer a tight hug before sitting beside garcia.

when emily got there she raced to jj to ask if they had any information yet, they didn't. she checked on spencer, making sure he wasn't losing his mind completely. she finally settled down and sat beside jj, placing a comforting hand on top of hers.

rossi and hotch arrived at the same time, they were both working late, finishing a few extra case files. they went around comforting the rest of the team, and made sure to pay extra attention to spencer.

everyone knew how close the two of you were. you were like bonnie and clyde, but rather you both solved crime instead of ensuing it. and they knew how much it pained him to see her in pain. even on cases when she would get wounded, spencer would pay the utmost care and attention to you.

spencer didn't say a word. he didn't say what happened. nobody asked. they sat in silence, with almost constant tears from the fear of losing you, waiting for answers to how you were doing.

after a few more hours, jj decided to ask the doctor yet again on any updates on your condition. she quietly got up after letting go of emily's hand and walked over to the front desk.

"ma'am," jj asked the receptionist, "is there any update on y/n y/l/n and her surgery. it's been a few hours now and we're getting wo-"

"y/n y/l/n?" a doctor came into the waiting room holding a clipboard, waiting for someone to claim her company.

spencer jumped up from his seat when he heard her name. everyone had refrained from using in fear of striking something in spencer. they didn't want to upset him more than he already was, so they just kept their mouths shut.

"yes?" he excitedly asked, feeling the sweat in his hands and the exhaustion overwhelming his body.

"she's out of surgery now. she's in a stable condition, but there's some bad news," the doctor grimaced as the others waited expectantly for the rest of the news. "she had a prolonged period of time without oxygen to her brain, she's now in a coma. we aren't sure when she'll wake up," the doctor finally spewed out. "you can go visit her now. maybe one at a time so she can decipher who's who. she can hear what you say, so make it positive and encouraging," he concluded.

spencer looked back at the team, waiting for them to signal that he could go visit her before following the doctor to your room.

spencer walked inside and saw you lying there, lifeless while barely alive. and it was all his fault. you told him it wasn't his fault. in what you thought were your last moments, you wanted him to be at ease. while you were bleeding out from his stupidity, you still claimed your love that he never told you he returned.

and for that he would never forgive himself.

oh, what he would give to hear your laugh again. to see your smile, feel your touch, smell your hair once more. he wanted you back.

so he did the only thing he could do. he sat by your side and grabbed your hand for the millionth time and held it to his cheek, trying to feel your warmth.

"hi, y/n," he started off, deciding to give this whole 'encouragement' thing a try. "there are a lot of studies on whether or not someone can hear whilst their in a coma, but i'm going to try it anyway," he tool a deep breath.

"you're the strongest woman i know, and i meant it when i told you that earlier tonight. i know that you can get through this. i want you to know that i'll be here for you every step of the way. i promise. i-i'll take off every day until you wake up. i have to take a sabbatical anyway, so i can just ask them if i can take it early. if i can't then i'll make garcia come here every single day and i'll call her so you can hear my voice," the tears filled his eyes once again.

"i-i need you here with me, y/n. please," he begged for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"spence," jj called from the doorway. "would you mind if we all talked to her for a minute? then you can come back? i need to get back to my boys now that i know she's going to be okay," she said with a bit of guilt at the thought of her being able to go home.

home to her husband and children.

y/n has always wanted children. she'd be such an amazing wife, and an even better mother. spencer wanted the chance to witness her being a mother first hand, and maybe even being the mother to his own children.

he wanted to give her everything she's ever wanted. he wanted to stay with her until he was forced to have to leave.

truth be told, the day you walked into the bau, you changed his life forever and he didn't even know it. he thought it was just going to be another temporary fill in, until you performed so well at your job that the bau just had to hire you permanently.

you're so amazing at everything you do. everything you've ever done. you always push yourself to be and do your best, something spencer has grown to love and admire you for.

so he just hopes you have a reason to fight. a reason to fight for your life, to fight for him. he hopes that you have hope.

"yea, of course," he pressed his lips to your knuckles one more time before leaving the room, hugging jj on the way out.

garcia was right outside the door, waiting for spencer to come out so she could give him a hug. she wrapped her arms around his torso as his went around her shoulders.

"she's strong, spencer. she'll get through this," garcia tried to comfort him.

"you should've heard her. she-she sounded like she was ready to give up hen she was lying there, bleeding out on the ground," spencer pulled back to look at garcia. "i can't lose her. n-not now."

"you won't lose her," she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before he nodded to her and walked back into the waiting room, being met by emily's own embrace.

"i'm not gonna tell you how strong she is, because i think we all know that by now. but you can talk to me, reid. that's what you have to know. you can talk to any of us," she consoled before pulling back, her hands still gripping his shoulders tightly.

"sh-she told me she was in love with me," he said out loud for the first time.

"what?" emily's eyes widened at the realization before she pulled his hand to go into an empty room. "explain, please?"

"she told me she was in love with me," he repeated. "and i froze," he sighed.

"you froze? what do you mean? i thought you loved her too?" she pondered, a confused look clouding her face.

"how'd you know that? and yea, i do love her. i love her so much it hurts," he looked down at his feet. "i didn't say it back because i couldn't believe it was happening. i-i mean have you seen her? she's the definition of perfect and she said she loves me."

"oh, spencer," she said before giving him another hug, allowing him to break down in her arms.

"she walked out after that," he grimaced. "when i started walking back to my place that's when i heard the gunshot and called the ambulance. then i noticed it was her and i broke. it's my fault she was out there. if i would've told her how i felt she would've been in my arms and safe. instead, she's in a coma because i was too confused to say anything," he vented.

"it's not your fault, reid. you have to know that," she said before pulling back. "it's the guy who shot her's fault. not yours. you didn't pull the trigger."

"i might as well have. she doesn't know how i'm in love with her," spencer whined, feeling more hopeless than he did when he was kidnapped and drugged.

because at least then, he knew the team would be coming for him.

but he didn't know if you ever wanted to come back.

when you were lying there, dying, it was like you were saying goodbye as he held you in his lap. his hands, pants, and even shirt were covered in your blood.

he hadn't even noticed. he didn't care to notice. you were the only thing on his mind. everyone else knew he wouldn't leave without knowing your condition, so they didn't bother telling him to go clean up. emily noticed him eyeing his own appearance.

"go change. i'll call you if we have any updates. relax, please. she's not going to leave you," emily said before shooing him away to clean up.

spencer went to his place to change quickly and take a shower after morgan gave him his hoodie to wear on the drive there. meanwhile, emily walked out into the waiting room and took notice of morgan in his own worry.

"she'll fight. we know she will," emily confirmed as she walked to sit beside him.

"i know she will, but i'm also worried about the kid," morgan moved his head out of his hands as he looked at emily. "he told me how he was in love with her. and i'm willing to bet this has something to do with that. he's been through so much, he doesn't deserve to lose another person in his life."

"i know, you're right. he doesn't deserve this, nobody does, but he especially doesn't deserve this," emily said as she put her hand over his back, rubbing it soothingly.

"i'm gonna see if i can have my turn talking to y/n," he stood up and walked to your room, taking notice of jj still inside and penelope waiting patiently.

he wrapped his arms around garcia and let her cry as jj finished up inside before exiting and saying her goodbyes to everyone, allowing penelope to have her turn to talk with you.

showering helped spencer more than he thought it would. being covered in your blood was more frightening than he thought, so seeing his own skin on his hands was much easier for him.

he drove himself back to the hospital, wanting to avoid more prying eyes of cab drivers taking notice of his obvious grief and panic.

when he walked inside, hotch was inside your room with rossi, despite the 'one-person-at-a-time' rule. he knocked on the outside of the doorframe, alerting the two of his presence.

"kid. hey," rossi came up to greet him, giving him a quick hug before hotch did the same.

"reid, we know how close you two are, so just know that she's probably fighting to get back to you, the rest of us too, but especially you," hotch declared with a pity grin.

"i hope you're right," he glanced back in the room to look at you. "i really hope you're right."

spencer walked back into your room after the two older men left. he scooted the chair closer to your bed and held your hand. he crossed his arms on top of your bed, your hand still in his, and laid his head down on his arms.

he waited.

and waited.

and waited.

there was no progress.

he wanted you to come back to him. he wanted to feel your touch again and hear your laugh. he wanted to tell you how he felt. he just wanted you.

he was able to work at home on the few cases they received, and took his paperwork to your hospital room when he wasn't able to finish it as quickly as normal.

as the weeks went by, his hope began to dwindle, but his determination only grew. he was determined to be able to tell you how much he loved you while you were awake, so he refrained from spilling his guts while you were still unconscious.

he would read you books. your favorite books. the books you would ask him to read to you when you were feeling sad and wanted to hear his voice to calm you down.

he played your favorite songs. the songs you and him listened to on the way to work or to museums he would beg you to go to with him.

he even played chess with you. granted, he was more so playing himself acting as you. he would try to play whatever moves he felt you would play against him.

he cried with you. he cried for you to come back to him. he cried that you never stop fighting. he cried that he would get at least one more time to talk to you.

but one day the doctors noticed that you were able to breath on your own. they were able to take the tube out of your mouth and throat and nose. that was his hope. your strength was his hope.

he sped to the hospital that day, wanting to see you as soon as he could. it had been three weeks since the shooting, and he desperately needed the sight of your chest moving up and down voluntarily, a sign of your own breath breathing life into your body.

emily just nodded her head at him to go when he stormed into her office, she had received the same call seconds earlier.

when he came into your room, he as already in tears at the new progress. he brushed your hair out of your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"keep fighting, y/n/n. you're so close to coming back to me, to us, to the team. please keep going," he begged as he sat down by your side. "i got the call about you being able to breath on your own, and i ran into emily's office. she didn't even need to say anything, she knew it was you," he smiled momentarily.

"i can't wait to be able to hug you again, and feel your warmth again. i uhm, i never told you this, but we've kissed," he smiled at the memory. "it was that night you were drunk and told me about your parents. you had kissed me after i told you how beautiful and amazing you were, and how wrong your parents were. i kissed you back, too," he gently bit his lip at the confession. "i-i didn't tell you because... i shouldn't have kissed you back. god, i've always wanted to kiss you, but not when you were drunk and vulnerable. i felt like i took advantage of you, and i hated that i did that to you. so, i never told you," he frowned at the hidden secret.

"but please, please, please come back to me. please let me kiss you for real this time. let me tell you how i feel, and hold you forever and ever. please just don't leave me. i won't be able to take that, y/n. i know how selfish that is, but i can't live without you. these past few weeks without hearing your voice has been hell," he frowned.

he had called your phone every day since the shooting just to hear your voice on the voicemail. those 29 words have been one of the things he's loved listening to when he woke up. he'd never admit it, but you'd realize it once you checked your phone.

another thing he loved doing was look through his videos of you. in one particular video, maybe even his favorite, you had taken his phone and began recording him on it.

you knew he hated his own appearance, although you'd never understand why, so you secretly took his phone and began recording him.

"hey spence! can you come here?" you called as you were in the living room, waiting for him to bring you your chicken tandoori.

"yup! i'm coming!" he came racing out with the two boxes of takeout, giving you one as he sat on the couch. he didn't even notice the phone with how you placed it in your hands.

"thanks handsome," you teased, although you meant every word you said. his face automatically blushed at the compliment, but he rolled his eyes nonetheless.

"oh, shut it," he said before stuffing a piece of chicken in his mouth. you giggled at his reaction, his favorite sound in the world.

"never. i don't know why you think you aren't attractive. you're so beautiful, spence, i'm surprised you don't already have a special someone," you nudged him with your elbow, the phone now being rested against your thigh to get a perfect view of him. you could see the smile he tried to hide by biting his lip gently.

"but i guess that does mean i get to spend more time with you, so i won't object," you laughed out before finally taking a bite of the food.

spencer noticed the phone on your thigh after you took a bite, his eyes widening at what he realized you were doing.

"y/n! why were you recording me?!" he exclaimed, trying to grab the phone and succeeding. he turned the camera on to you as you began laughing loudly at his reaction. "what do you have to say for yourself, ma'am?" he questioned.

your smile was brighter than ever, your face red from all the laughing. you were wearing one of spencer's sweaters, your favorite one. you had taken a couple because 'they're cozier' than yours. you put your hands up in surrender.

"i guess you caught me, hot stuff," you laughed before he placed the phone down and began his tickle attack on you. "ahhh! spencerrrr! please!" you laughed out. "i surrender!" tears of laughter were streaming down your face.

"fine. i think you've paid your penance," he joked before grabbing the phone and turning the camera on only you once again, you blushing from the action. "y'know you're really beautiful, right?" you smiled widely at his confession, sensing the sincerity in his voice.

"thank you, spencer. so are you, truly beautiful," you smiled even wider before he finally turned the camera off.

he remembers that day like it was yesterday. he'd like to claim it was because of his eidetic memory, but it was also because of you.

you had gotten the weekend off and decided to spend it together, once again. you had stayed the night with him all weekend, you insisted on sleeping on the couch to which he objected, forcing you to take the bed with him.

you had woken up cuddled in each others arms, facing each other like you had been hugging the whole night. spencer felt the most content he had ever felt in that moment, never wanting to let you go or wake you, so he waited for you to wake up.

that was the best weekend he's had in a while. you two acted as if you were in a relationship, domestic. it was delightful.

there was another picture the two of you had taken after a rather successful case.

all the missing children were found safe, a rare occurrence, so you had gone out to a bar to celebrate. it was mostly emily, morgan, and garcia's doing, so you had all eventually agreed once you figured out they wouldn't back down.

you had known how spencer was at bars, he was sometimes rather uncomfortable with all of the people. it made him anxious and a bit intimidated. so after you had all met up at the bar and you noticed how nervous he was, you intertwined your arms and took his hand in yours.

"my mom used to do this thing when i was anxious or nervous to calm me down," you whispered, wrapping your other arm around his one as you squeezed his hand three times. "it's supposed to be our way of assuring the other. a way of saying i'm here," you explained before he squeezed four times in return, your brows furrowed. "what does that mean?"

"i-it could mean i'm glad you're here," he grinned as he noticed the smile that erupted on your face from his kind words.

and you didn't let go all night.

"please come back to me, i know you can. you're so strong, please just come back to me," spencer wailed. he felt your hand squeezing his as he held it, making his encouragement the entire reason you came back to him.

-

"spence, you're making a mess," you giggled, wiping the corner of his lip free of the chocolate you two were eating, still in that heavenly place.

"i'm sorry! it just tastes really good," he smiled back as he watched you lick the chocolate from your thumb.

"mm, you're right. it does taste really good," you nodded your head. "so i'm taking all of them!" you grabbed the box full of chocolate and began running. looking back to see spencer chasing after you, you bursted into a fit of laughter.

the tall grass tickled your legs slightly, the breeze lifting your dress a tiny bit as you continued to jog ahead of him, teasing him with your laughter. he finally caught up with you, taking you down with him as you both giggled.

“you got me, dork,” you laughed, pushing his shoulder lightly. 

“of course i do! did you expect anything less?” he said arrogantly, you rolled your eyes. 

“never from you, doctor,” you teased as he pulled you in closer to him, you nuzzled your face into his neck as he admired the view around him. suddenly he stood up, the chocolate box in hand, and began running. 

“you little tease!” you shouted before getting up to chase him as he did you previously. “spencer reid, you’re so gonna get it!” you laughed out

"don’t leave me," he turned around to face you and called out, suddenly you felt a pang in your stomach where you had been stabbed.

you made eye contact with him, a look of shock and horror on your face as you tried to figure out what was wrong before you collapsed to the ground.

"sp-spencer? what's happening?" you asked as he pulled you into his lap.

"it's been two weeks y/n, i-i miss you." he began. "i know you're right here with me, but i miss your voice. and your laugh-"

"spencer i'm right here. i was just laughing with you," you tried to interrupt his monologue.

"and i miss the way your hair would crowd my face as we slept and how it would make me wake up. i miss hugging you and-"

"spencer please, i'm here," you cried, squeezing his hand as hard as you could to signify your presence.

"please come back to me, i know you can. you're so strong, please just come back to me."

-

"y/n! can you hear me?!" he exclaimed, you squeezed his hand once more, a little tighter than the last time. "oh my god! oh thank you so much, y/n," he cried as he kissed your knuckles once more, your fingers twitching in the process.

"doctor. we need the doctor!" he said as he pressed the nurse's button. "she's squeezing my hand. her fingers started twitching!" he said excitedly as the nurse entered, exiting to get the doctor.

you squeezed his hands three times, him returning with four times. you understood what he meant. his eyes were trained on your face and he saw as your lips twitched upwards in a smile.

the doctor came in to perform a few tests and forced him to release your hand. he asked you to squeeze his hand once more, you followed suit. the doctor noticed your nose twitching and neck beginning to turn.

"she's gaining control over her body again. this was predicted once we found out she could breath on her own, we just didn't think it'd happen this quickly. a recovery this soon after removing the tube is almost unprecedented," he said in awe of your strength.

"she's the strongest person i know. it's no surprise that she's recovering this fast," spencer said as he took hold of your hand again.

"indeed. she should regain full control over herself within a few hours or by overnight at this point. go easy on her, she's still recovering from being shot. i also need to observe the bullet hole on her stomach, but you could stay for that if you'd like." spencer nodded as the doctor raised the hospital gown.

there was deep bruising around the bullet hole and a scab over top. your stomach looked smaller than it had the last time he'd seen it, a result from you having to be fed through a tube. you were unbelievably pale, no surprise there either because of the lack of sunlight.

"it's healing nicely, the scab looks healthy and the bruising is getting better. she's a fighter, this one," he smiled at spencer.

"you have absolutely no idea," he said, not breaking his eyes from your beautiful face.

the doctor left swiftly after charting her vitals and giving her a shot of her vitamins. spencer sat back down in the chair and held your hand once again, waiting for you to fully wake up so you could once again be in each others' arms.

later that day, at around 11:50, your entire body began shifting. spencer sat up straight away, trying to held you in any way possible.

"that's it, y/n! come on, you can do it, y/n/n," he cheered you on, smiling so hard he felt his eyes prick with tears. you turned onto your side, towards spencer, and your eyes had began to twitch open.

"sp-spencer?" you questioned once your eyes were fully open.

"yea, yes. it's me. i'm here. i'm right here," he wrapped his arms around you, adjusting his grip after you grimaced from his tight hold. "i'm never leaving. i'm never letting you leave again," he ranted out, placing a hand on the back of your head as you wrapped the arm that didn't have an iv around his body, pushing your head to nuzzle into his neck.

"i'm so sorry. i never should've left you there," you cried into his arms.

"it's okay, y/n. it's not your fault at all," he soothed as his hand started stroking your hair gently. "i'm so glad you came back to me. thank you so much," he sighed as he gently placed a kiss on your head."

"you really think i would go that easily? i thought you knew me better than that, dumbo," you laughed out.

"i'm glad to see you still have that sense of humor in you," spencer scoffed, followed by a bright smile.

"oh that's not going anwhere, spencer. and neither am i."

@averyhotchner  @greenprisca  @muffin-cup​

[dragon-kazansky]

Til death do us part | Helmut Zemo

Bodyguard AU! 🕶

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 7

It had been a week since Zemo had visited you in hospital. You had been out of action for, what felt like, forever now. It wasn't until you weren't on duty any more that he really began to notice your absence.

It dawned on him that he was missing you. He couldn't work out why. Zemo was aware he was rude to you when you first arrived. He didn't think you had it in you to do your job, but you quickly proved him wrong.

He was glad about that.

As he sat in the hotel room, Clint standing by the door, his mind could only think of you. The TV he had turned on was long forgotten.

Any day now you should be released from the hospital and back on duty. Perhaps he could request to have you stationed with him more often. He could make it out to be that he wants to make it up to you.

But then you would be at risk again. He didn't want that.

It hadn't left his mind. Sometimes when he lay down at night he could still hear the gunshot. He would open his eyes and see you slumped over in the middle of the road again, cradling your shoulder as it bled.

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

Everytime he thought about it his heart would plummet and his stomach would churn. It made him feel so sick.

Yes, you had done your job, but he hated it. He hated how you got hurt protecting him. Yes, he had hired you for that purpose, but he hated it.

Helmut was aware something had changed in him. Maybe it was the bravery you showed that day. Maybe it was the way you had yelled at him, perhaps shaking some sense into him. Maybe it was the way that those bullets had been intended for him and you took the shots instead.

They wanted him dead and you had paid the price for it.

He sighs as he gazes at the clock. Every second felt like it had been stretched out. An hour felt like a day at this point.

Helmut was desperate to hear news of you.

He wanted to see you.

He missed you.

Your friends missed you. He could see it on their faces as they switched out with each other. They were all thinking of you.

He was thinking of you.

Actually, why was he spending so much time thinking about you? He couldn't understand why he was missing you so much.

He checked the clock again and continued to mentally scold himself.

When would they discharge you?

Would you need picking up?

It was safe for him to go out now, even if he did still have to be wary. Maybe he could pick you up?

Would you want him to?

He wanted to.

He was doing it again. He groaned, annoyed at himself for letting you stay on his mind so much. He should know better.

Clint stared at the Baron with furrowed brows. He spent the last half hour watching the man look at the clock, run a hand through his hair, groan in annoyance, sigh, and get angry over practically nothing.

He couldn't work the Baron out.

Steve knocked on the door. Clint turned his gaze away from the other man and opened the door, letting Steve in.

Helmut turned his head the moment he heard the knocking. For just a second he was filled with hope that it was you returning to work.

The empty feeling he felt when his eyes landed on Steve didn't go away.

"You can go, Clint, I'll take over for a bit."

Clint nods and leaves, probably to his room to take a break.

Zemo looks at Steve expectantly.

Steve takes up the position Clint had been in before by the door. He looks at the Baron and puts on a polite business smile.

"You'll be flown out back to Sokovia tonight. We will see to it you get home safely. Your plane is being prepared as we speak. You should gather your things so we may leave quickly."

Those weren't the words he had wanted to hear, but a part of him was glad he was going home after what happened.

He had been here longer than intended.

"Very well. Will your friend be meeting us at the airport, or are we fetching them along the way?"

He would at least see you on the plane.

"Well, neither, sir. You mean Y/N, yes? They are currently awaiting their flight to New York."

"Pardon?" He narrowed his gaze on Steve.

"Y/N was discharged this morning. A flight back to New York had been organised and they were clear to go. Y/N is returning to our headquarters."

"Whatever for?" He asks.

"They were removed from the assignment to allow time to heal at home. Our boss, Mr. Stark wishes to help them get back into the job with less dangerous assignments for a while," Steve explained, though not sure why he was doing so.

"And they agreed to this?"

"Yes."

Helmut's gaze falls to the floor. He was confused. He was... sad.

Was this because of the way he had treated you? Yes, that would make sense. Of course you wouldn't want to be around him.

He looks away from Steve.

In the blink of an eye, his previous cold and confident persona returns. He holds his head up and stands. He adjusts the cuffs of his shirt and turns back to Steve. He now looked more like the Baron he was that first day they met him in Sokovia.

"I'll get my things," his voice was cold.

Steve just nods and watches with his eyes as the Baron slips into his bedroom and gets his things.

Steve was confused. He updated the others on the Baron packing his things, and then he waited.

Behind the closed bedroom door, Zemo stood there for a moment.

Why did it hurt him to know you weren't coming back?

He glares at the wall ahead of him and takes a deep breath. It really shouldn't matter to him. He shouldn't care so much.

He marches over to his bed, grabs his suitcase and packs everything. He just wanted to go home at this point.

You would be off his mind in a few days, he was sure.

Meanwhile, you had just boarded your plane. You had a window seat. Your eyes cast out. The plane hadn't taken off yet. Somewhere in that city was the Baron. You felt proud of yourself for what you had done, but you had hoped for another chance to prove yourself. Though you think you may have done that successfully. He did visit you after all.

You sigh softly.

You weren't about to argue with your boss. Stark would be waiting to greet you back at headquarters. You would train up and take another, smaller, job. Even if leaving this one worried you.

The fact is that someone out there was leading a group of people who wanted the Baron dead. You had no idea why, or if they would stop. They had seen an opportunity and took it.

Not that you could do anything now.

The pilot made the announcement they were preparing for take off. The crew did all their final checks.

You gazed out of the window.

It was time to put the Baron out of your mind and move onto the next job.

If only it would be so easy.

Two hours later Helmut Zemo was boarding his plane. He had packed, checked out, and been driven to the airport. He had heard Steve confirm to the others you were airborne.

You were on your way back to New York.

He didn't care to acknowledge the others as he was escorted out of the hotel. His cold and rude persona returned, perhaps worse than before.

His mood was sour and he could only put it down to your absence. Even when you weren't here physically, you were irritating him. This only made him feel all the more bad because of how he treated you.

He looked out of the window at the cloud filled sky.

What he didn't know at this moment of time was that when he arrived in Sokovia, an idea would strike him. One that may allow him the chance to make it up to you, assuming you accept.

He just had to get home first.

Two planes currently in the air, going different directions to different destinations, but both containing people who were missing each other, though they didn't realise just how much yet.

They were going to be long trips.

@thesuitkovian @justfangirlthingies @belle82devart @zemosimp420 @anteroom-of-death @silverlambcaptain @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @lieutenantn @daniielbruhl @awesomesauce-abbie @latenightartist-author @lazygurl05 @rumblelibrary @nonamec0s @shura-gorl @ginger-abreu @caligrl1992 @livvyshmiv @luciadiosa @vverliebt @tatooineisdry @charistory @somethingthatsaysbubbles @apparrio @alex-the-nb @thewrongkhristol @hb8301 @the-chaotic-cow

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [three] // daisy johnson

summary: when you're out chasing a story that leads you to the unanticipated hands of HYDRA, you certainly don't expect to be rescued by a girl you presumed dead for nine years.

warning/s: descriptions of violence, torture, injuries.

author’s note: here’s the next part, hope you all like it!

part one | part two | part four | part five | part six | masterlist | wattpad

Nine years later...

"I'm meeting with my contact now. He said he knows something about the weapons."

"Okay, just make sure you're safe, Y/N."

I smiled with amusement. "I always am, Taylor. I think this could be the source to break the story though. I'm gonna try and get them to speak on the record."

"Just be careful," he warned.

"Will do," I promised, before checking my watch for the time. "Okay, I gotta go. See ya."

"Good luck," he finished, and I hung up before putting my phone away.

Looking around, I saw the village was quiet seeing as it was pretty late and everyone was in their homes. It was the perfect place to meet with a source for my story on human trafficking.

I headed down the street and waited outside the apartment building for my source. I had no idea what he looked like, but nobody else would be out this late into the night, so he couldn't be hard to spot.

A few minutes passed before I saw a guy approaching me, holding some files in his hands. I straightened up and held his gaze as he stopped before me. He glanced around before looking me up and down.

"You are Y/N?" he asked with a Burmese accent.

I nodded, speaking fluent Burmese as I said, "Yes. You must be Ohnmar? We can speak Burmese if you prefer."

"Okay. We talked earlier, but it wasn't safe then. I have information on the missing residents," he answered in Burmese, before shaking the files. "It's all in here, but you mustn't open it until you get home."

I accepted the files and nodded, though was mildly confused. "Is it about the labour they're doing? I have a theory, but I have no proof. I... I think it might be HYDRA."

He pursed his lips and I figured he was confirming my thoughts, which concerned me.

"I'm right," I realised, before moving to open the file. "I need to–"

"You should've stayed away," he suddenly said in English, and I looked up in confusion.

Before I could question him, he pulled a gun from behind him and hit me on the head, knocking me to the ground. I tried to blink my eyes open, but my vision was blurred and I eventually blacked out, unable to stay awake any longer.

I woke up in a dark room with an aching head and confused mind. It took a moment for me to catch myself up, but I soon realised I'd been tricked by my contact. I was so easily fooled and I felt stupid as I hadn't seen it coming, instead too blindsided by my need for information.

Looking around, I realised I was tied to a chair. The only light in the room was from a single electric lamp plugged in the corner, shedding light on the damaged walls and, to my dismay, a HYRDA logo.

"Well, fuck," I mumbled, before shaking my wrists to try and get free, but they were tied pretty tightly with rope, making me shift uncomfortably at the chafing.

Panic started to set in when the door slammed open in front of me, flooding the room with light and making me close my eyes with discomfort. I heard another slam and opened my eyes when I saw the door closed behind whoever entered.

Two people were in the room and one of them turned the lamp, shining it in my direction and also revealing my assailants' faces. One of them was Ohnmar, my contact, which I guess wasn't his real name. The other wasn't anybody I recognised, and they were both wearing uniforms with the HYDRA logo on the pocket.

"I wouldn't try to escape if I were you," the fake Ohnmar said.

I clicked my tongue and looked between the both of them. "I'm guessing I got a little too close to the truth which is why I'm here. Right?"

"You've been putting your nose in where it doesn't belong," the other guy said. "Did you really think you would get away with this? That we'd let you write about this?!"

I flinched at his loud volume before clearing my throat. "I didn't think I needed your permission. And in case you didn't notice, it's my job to report on this."

Fake Ohnmar scoffed. "We don't care what your job is. Now tell us what you know and what you've told your superiors back home."

I narrowed my eyes. "Do you really think this is the first time I've been captured? I've spent nine months in this village. If you think I'm going to throw that away for you, you better think again."

Fake Ohnmar's friend cracked his neck, pacing with discomfort, before pulling out a gun. I chewed on the inside of my mouth, nerves settling as I tried not to show it.

"We have someone going through your electronics as we speak," he told me, gripping his gun. "Your superiors will get their updates as expected, but you won't be giving them."

"Look, you're gonna kill me whether I tell you or no–"

I was cut off when he smacked me across the face with his gun, making me see stars momentarily. I felt something warm gush from my nose and realised I was bleeding.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with," he muttered, his face inches from my face as he stared me down threateningly. "Now tell us what you know of the missing villagers."

I wiped my nose on my shirt the best I could and chose not to speak. They couldn't do much without knowing what I knew. Everything I'd learnt had been sent back home to the news organisation I worked for, and if I didn't get back to them or call them, they'd know what happened.

"Two things I despise," he mumbled with irritation. "Journalists and Americans." He waved to his friend dismissively. "She won't talk. You know what to do."

Fake Ohnmar nodded obediently before suddenly punching me in the face, once again, leaving me dazed. This went on for a while, him beating me up as an attempt at torture, before the two of them left me alone to 'think about' if I wanted to tell them.

I had been in this situation, surprisingly, two times before in my journalistic career. Both times I was able to get out either by escaping myself or managing to get found by the authorities. Of course, in this case, the latter seemed impossible, so my only hope was escaping myself.

I looked around, but realised I was in too much pain to hatch a plan right now. They'd done a good job on me, and I was sure my ribs were bruised pretty badly. Honestly, I didn't expect nine months of investigative journalism in Myanmar to lead to HYDRA of all places.

—

"You've beat me, starved me..." I coughed because of how dry my throat was. "I'm not talking."

Fake Ohnmar placed something rectangular on the table in front of me. I realised it was my laptop – they must have taken it from where I'd left it in the room I'd been renting downtown.

"You're clever, I'll give you that," he said, crossing his arms and shaking his gun impatiently. "Where did you learn such complicated encryptions?"

I couldn't help but smile when I knew he couldn't get into my laptop. At least not the parts that exposed what I'd learnt so far.

"You do what I do and you learn from past mistakes," I told him, making him clench his jaw.

It wasn't much, probably the only trick in the book I knew as I wasn't exactly an expert with computers. Clearly it was benefiting me today though.

He slammed his hand on the table suddenly, making me jump. "Tell me the password, now!"

I licked my dry lips, choosing to stay quiet. I began to wonder just how advanced these guys were if they couldn't even afford to get a hacker to break through.

"So it's gonna be like that," he said with a shrug, before pointing his gun at my face.

He flicked off the safety and I closed my eyes as calmly as I could, already saying my goodbyes in my head. A few days in a HYDRA cell was like weeks anywhere else. I'd accepted my fate.

I expected the shot to go off any minute now, wondering what things would be like afterwards. Would it hurt? Would it be an instant death?

I certainly didn't expect my left ear to be ringing as an excruciating pain shot up my neck from my shoulder. My eyes opened and I tried to breathe through the pain whilst hoping my ear would stop ringing. The man began to laugh, but I couldn't hear him, only see his evil smile.

When I looked down, I saw blood seeping from a bullet wound in my left shoulder. Despite my experience in this profession, I can't say I'd ever been shot before. It certainly hurt a lot more than I'd imagined.

"You talk and I get you patched up," he said when my hearing returned to normal. I looked up and saw him watching me with narrowed eyes. "You stay quiet and we see how long it takes for you to bleed out."

I swallowed hard, squeezing my eyes shut to contain the pain, before opening them again.

"You're gonna move operations," I realised aloud. "You want to know whether you can. Because if I've told them about you, you know you can't stay here much longer. And if I haven't, you just get rid of me."

He squeezed his gun with irritation, watching as I spoke the truth.

"But either way I die," I repeated. "So why the hell would I want the last thing I do be to help you?"

He grabbed the laptop before kicking the table away with anger. "Call when you feel like talking. We can make your death quick and painless or long and painful."

I smiled bitterly as I watched him leave the room, slamming the door behind him. I released a deep breath as I looked down at my shoulder, trying to make out the damage. I didn't know much about first aid, but I was pretty sure there was no exit wound meaning the bullet was still in there. That was good, right? Or wasn't it...? I couldn't remember. I just knew it hurt like hell.

—

Hours had passed and I began to hallucinate. Silly things like cheeseburgers and dancing water bottles – lack of food and drink, the blood loss and the heat was making my head spin. I wasn't sure if this was where I wanted to die – in a small, dirty, hot room by myself. Was it worth it? Dying over a news story?

Of course it was. I pursued this story after some social media posts about disappearing villagers in Myanmar. I stayed here nine months with each day leading me closer and closer to the supposed human trafficking that was going on. I got to where I was because I wanted to get justice for those who suffered and stop anyone else from suffering. Yet the only people who knew were my editors back home, and I wasn't sure they'd ever know the full truth.

It was better than helping the enemy though.

Just when I thought cheeseburgers were the worst of my delusions, I saw a face I hadn't thought about in a long time. A person who I least expected my mind to drag up in a time like this.

The door opened and I was sure I was going to be questioned again, but in ran none other than Skye. The same Skye who had ran away all those years ago and wasn't to be found.

She looked a little older with her shorter hair, but otherwise she was just as I remembered.

"Hey, I'm gonna get you out of h– Y/N?" she started, before furrowing her eyebrows with confusion.

She even sounded the same, and if I could feel anything at that moment, I'm sure I would've felt my heart beating quickly at the sight of her.

"Can you hear me?"

I began to laugh with what little energy I had left. Is this what it was like to die? Seeing things that you'd pushed down for so long to stop your heart from hurting? It was strange. Why was my mind playing with me like this?

"Y/N, look at me, can you hear me?!" she asked quickly, grabbing my face and forcing me to meet her eyes.

I continued to laugh because it all felt so real. Her touch, her voice, her eyes that peered into me. I wished it was because maybe after all of these years I could have made things right.

—

"Miss, can you hear me? Y/N?"

I blinked the tiredness from my eyes and opened them, trying to remember what was happening. But I was confused and my body was numb and nothing made sense.

"Y/N, sweetie, can you hear me?"

I turned my head, realising I was laying in a bed. There was a woman beside my bed – a doctor, I presumed – staring down at me with a friendly smile on her face. I nodded slowly, my mouth dry.

I couldn't remember getting out of that cell, being rescued. Unless I wasn't rescued and this was still a trap.

At this thought, I widened my eyes and tried to move, panic setting in, but I was attached to a bunch of tubes and my body was still numb.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay," the doctor tried to reassure, resting her hands on my arm, trying to keep me still. "You're safe here. You're on a S.H.I.E.L.D. quinjet. That's like a plane...? We got you out of that HYDRA cell and I've bandaged your wounds. You don't need to be afraid anymore."

I wasn't sure whether to believe her, but something about the way she spoke and the kindness in her eyes made me relax.

"My name is Agent Simmons," she introduced as she grabbed something from beside me, "but you can call me Jemma."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. On cue, she held a glass of water towards me and helped me sit up enough to have some from the straw. It felt good to have actual water in my system after not being given anything the past two days.

"Not too quickly," she said gently. "Take your time."

I listened to her before laying back down. It took a few tries, but I managed to get out, "Thank you, Jemma. I'm Y/N."

"Y/N Y/L/N, investigative journalist for the New York Times," she stated before an apologetic expression crossed her face. "Sorry. Facial recognition an' all... I hope that doesn't freak you out."

I sighed, not the slightest bit surprised. I knew enough about S.H.I.E.L.D. to know they had the resources to know exactly who I was.

"I don't remember you getting me," I said with confusion. "How did you I know I was there?"

Jemma took a seat on the stool beside my bed. "Well, technically it was Quake who got you out. We had reports of HYDRA activity in that area for a while and we knew an American journalist had been taken, but we didn't know it was you."

I nodded, though I was still confused. "Who's Quake?"

Jemma chuckled, thinking I was joking. But when I met her eyes with confused ones, she lost her smile.

"You're serious? You don't know who Quake is?"

I shook my head. "I've been in Myanmar for nine months, and not in the most advanced areas. I haven't had much access to American news."

"Seriously?" she asked with disbelief, before putting her arms out and shaking them. "Earthquake-causing, vibration-manipulating, tremor-shaking superhero Quake?"

I raised an eyebrow judgementally, making Jemma lower her arms sheepishly.

"Oh, well, she's a hero that works for S.H.I.E.L.D.," she explained.

I nodded slowly, deciding that was something to ask more about later on. For now, I was more concerned about my story.

"You said S.H.I.E.L.D. had been watching that area for a while," I recalled. "Does that mean you found out what happened to the missing villagers? I got as far as working out HYDRA had been using them for some sort of forced labour, but never beyond that."

Jemma got up from her stool and busied herself with other things. "I, er, that's actually classified...? You see, it's not good if we tell you, especially as you're a journalist..."

"But it's my story," I countered with annoyance. "I've been trying to work this out for almost a year. I deserve to know the outcome. Did you save those villagers? Were they all alive? Did the local authorities know?"

Jemma seemed to be getting uncomfortable the more questions I asked and I forced myself to sit up, groaning at the ache in my shoulder.

"You can't hide this from me," I told her. "Please, just tell me."

She grimaced. "It's not my place. I'm not in charge–"

"Then tell me who is!" I shouted with frustration, before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I just– I've put a lot of work into this and it can't just be taken away. I need to know what happened."

She nodded, avoiding my eyes for fear I'd get angry again. "Look, I can talk to my superiors and find out what I can say. For now, you should really be resting."

I leaned back and breathed out slowly, already feeling my fatigue catching up to me.

"Okay," I said quietly, before asking, "You said we were on a plane. Where are we going?"

"That's actually classified as well," she said regretfully, making me sigh. "We're going to our headquarters. But after that, we'll be taking you home or wherever you want us to take you."

At the mention of home, I grew hopeful. It had been so long since I'd been back. I wasn't exactly in the right state to be living by myself, so I was glad that I had made the choice to leave my flat and move in with my parents before leaving for Myanmar. Plus, I had missed them dearly. To be back there was almost unimaginable.

"Can I ring my parents?" I asked hopefully. "Just to let them know I'm okay? And that I'm coming soon?"

Jemma nodded, offering a small smile. "Of course, Y/N. I'll go grab you a phone."

She left the room momentarily and I took that as my chance to get a good look around. It looked like a hospital room you'd find anywhere, except without windows and with card-activated doors that had tiny glass windows showing a narrow hallway. I didn't get to look around for too long as Jemma returned pretty quickly, handing me (what looked like) a normal mobile phone.

"I'll give you a moment of privacy, but please only call your parents," Jemma warned as politely as she could.

I cracked a small smile. "What – are you guys tracking the phone or something?"

She chewed on her lower lip as she looked down, making my smile fade as I realised that's exactly what they were doing. I wasn't surprised, I guess.

"Right, okay, no other calls, got it," I agreed with a nod.

She left me to it as I dialled my mum's mobile number and eventually spoke to both her and my dad. It was emotional to say the least, as I tried not to worry them too much without withholding the truth. They knew when I was lying so it was better to just be honest. Of course, they were happy to have me stay at theirs until I was back on my feet and the call ended with my mum scolding me for not resting as the doctor recommended.

Finally succumbing to the tiredness I was feeling, I fell asleep for God knows how long, but when I woke up, I felt more refreshed. Similar to before, Jemma was in the room, checking some charts. She caught my eye when I woke up and smiled reassuringly.

"Feeling better?" she asked, setting down the chart and rounding the bed.

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks... how long was I asleep for?"

"About six hours," she guessed, waving her hand. "We've landed at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ and our agents are debriefing. Once everything is sorted here, we can take you home to New York and arrange a driver to take you to wherever you want."

"My parents' house," I clarified.

She smiled and nodded. "Right. Your parents' house. How are you feeling?"

I tried to sit up and she helped me as I smiled gratefully in return.

"I'm not gonna lie, being shot hurts like a bitch," I admitted, grimacing as I glanced at my shoulder and arm in a sling.

"First time?"

"And hopefully the last," I retorted, before looking to her. "How long will this take to, y'know, get better?"

"Well, I'll need to keep you here for observation over the next few days," she explained. "When I'm happy with the outcome, I'll send you home and you'll need fortnightly checkups at the hospital. Overall I'd say a month? Maybe more if there's no... er... other issues."

"I know you mean PTSD," I told her bluntly, before frowning. "Doing what I do requires knowledge of that."

"There's going to be support available for you, both here and back home," Jemma reassured, resting a hand on mine and offering a small smile. "You're not alone, Y/N."

I nodded, clearing my throat. "I know... I know. Thanks."

She nodded and moved to the other side of the room to grab something, before wheeling a tray of food over to me.

"Hope you're hungry," she joked. "It's nothing fancy, but it's pretty good."

I smiled and accepted the food. "Means a lot, thanks."

I took a bite out of my sandwich as I remembered something. When I finished chewing, I wiped my face with the napkin before looking to Jemma who was at her desk.

"Er, Jemma," I called, making her look up. "Did you find out what happened to the villagers?"

She pursed her lips and nodded. "I've spoken to my superiors. I know you've been working on this and I'm only permitted to tell you so much."

I waited patiently, not wanting to snap at her like last time.

"The missing villagers were in fact taken by HYDRA, like you predicted," she explained. "They were forced into labour at a facility that was under the guise of a food warehouse."

"What was the labour?" I asked curiously.

She ran a hand through her hair. "I can't tell you much, but I can say that it was a nuclear weapon that could've hurt a lot of people. S.H.I.E.L.D. managed to stop it before they could finish it, which is when we found out that a journalist had been taken. That was when we came for you."

I released a deep breath, definitely not expecting that. At least they had been stopped.

"Did the missing people return to their families? Were they okay?" I asked hesitantly, remembering the many families I spoke to of the missing. I'd grown attached and I don't think I could have taken more bad news.

"Most of them, yes!" she exclaimed hopefully, but I could tell the following news wouldn't be good. "But not all of them were okay. There's some psychological damage and unfortunately physical damage, too. HYDRA did a number on them."

I massaged my head with my right hand, trying not to get upset, but the guilt in the pit of my stomach wasn't helping. I had one job, literally, and I couldn't even do it right.

"Y/N–"

"Do you have a list?" I asked, cutting her off. "A list of who made it?"

"Y/N, I don't think–"

"Please," I pleaded. "I spoke to the families of those who were missing. I got to know them. I need to know who's not getting their loved ones back."

She frowned, but nodded slowly. "I'm sure I can do something."

I sighed and my shoulders sunk with disappointment. Just another day on the job.

—

It had been a few days since being rescued by S.H.I.E.L.D. and I was itching to get home, but Jemma insisted I be observed for at least another day.

Under different circumstances, I would have been eager to explore the quinjet and get more information out of Jemma about her place of work, but I was too exhausted to care. Instead, I revelled in being taken care of and having a break from work.

I was laying in bed, reading a book, when Jemma walked in and caught my attention. I tried not to bother her as she was clearly working on other stuff, but it got pretty boring sitting in a room by yourself all day.

"Hey," I greeted with a smile, lowering my book.

"Hello," she returned as she took a seat at her desk, going on her computer. "You doing alright?"

"As alright as I can be, considering," I said, shrugging with my right shoulder. "Just a bit bored."

"The book not good?" she asked, nodding to my hand.

"I've read it," I admitted. "I just didn't wanna be a bother and ask for another one."

She chuckled. "You could have said something."

"It's okay," I assured her, before leaning back. "So, up to anything fun?"

She gave me a knowing look. "Are you seriously that bored?"

I nodded, pursing my lips, making her laugh. Eventually, she stared at me curiously.

"There's actually something I wanted to ask you," she admitted, crossing her arms and leaning back on her chair. "If you don't mind."

Wanting any distraction from my boredom, I nodded. "Go for it. I'm all ears."

"I've been reading some of your work," she shared. "You're really talented and you've been through your fair share of tough scrapes."

I chuckled. "I guess, yeah. And thank you. What's the question exactly?"

She looked at me like it was obvious. "What made you want to do this as a job? Investigative journalism?"

I played with the corner of the book as I answered thoughtfully, "Well, I guess I've always enjoyed writing and delving deep into stuff. The important stuff, y'know?" I looked down at my hands as I remembered Skye. "There was actually this girl I knew back in school. She was a friend and she, er... she was always wanting to find and expose truths. About herself, the world... I guess she kind of influenced me in a way."

I chewed on the inside of my mouth as I remembered my hallucination. Skye seemed to be coming up a lot more in my life lately, more than I was prepared for.

"I'm guessing she isn't with you anymore," Jemma realised, expression softening. "I'm sorry."

I forced a small smile, looking up and shaking my head reassuringly. "It's okay, it doesn't matter."

Jemma smiled in return, but I could see the pity present in her eyes. "I'm sure whoever she was, she'd be proud of you now. For everything you've done."

"Thank you, Jemma, but I... I'm not too sure about that."

"I am."

I froze at the sound of a familiar voice. Was I hallucinating again? No, that couldn't be. I was getting better. But that sounded so real...

"Proud of you, that is," the voice continued, and I risked looking towards the door where I saw none other than Skye standing there with a nervous smile on her lips.

When I met her gaze, I knew she wasn't a figment of my imagination. Those piercing brown eyes couldn't be fake.

"Hey," she got out, barely a whisper.

I licked my lips and tried to look away, but my heart was suddenly racing in my chest. She was just how I saw her last, but I guess that had been real now.

"I should give you guys a moment," Jemma said, pulling me from my reverie and making me look away.

She walked out, past Skye, leaving us both alone. I was still in shock though, too startled to say anything.

"How are you?" she asked gently, and I still couldn't believe I was hearing her voice after all these years. When I didn't say anything, she continued, "I know this is strange, but–"

"Strange?" I finally found my words, eyebrows raised. "What exactly is strange? The part where I'm sure I'm seeing a ghost right now as I you presumed you were dead after not being able to find you for years after you left, or the part where you've probably been at S.H.I.E.L.D. the whole time and didn't bother to tell me you were okay? Which part is strange exactly?"

She frowned guiltily, eyes falling to her shoes. "When I left–"

"Ran away," I corrected her, bitterness slashing through like a sharp knife, surprising the both of us.

She glanced at me, nodding. "Right... when I ran away, I left you a message."

I almost laughed, a sarcastic smile on my lips. "Don't even get me started on the excuse veiled as a message you left me. The cowardly way out you took because you couldn't face me."

She met my gaze nervously. "I didn't think you'd be this angry after all this time. It happened so long ago."

"Of course I'm angry!" I shouted with frustration, making me grimace at the pain in my shoulder, but I didn't stop. "You left without a single trace of Skye or Mary left behind! You left me with nothing but concern for your wellbeing! I thought you were dead!"

I hadn't realised how I angry I was after all this time, but it made sense. When she first left, I always imagined what I would say to her when I found her again, what our reunion would be like. But when the years went on and I accepted she was truly gone, all of that worry turned into bitterness and resentment. And now, seeing her here... I was furious.

"Y/N, I know you're upset, but–"

"Just get out," I told her with a glare. "I appreciate you saving me and all, but get out."

"Y/N," she pleaded, but I looked away and pressed the button on the side of my bed.

Jemma soon returned and looked between Skye and I with confusion and reluctance.

"Everything okay here?" she asked.

I looked up and met Skye's guilt-filled gaze. "My shoulder hurts."

Skye seemed to get the hint and nodded once more before finally leaving the room. I breathed out a shaky breath, before swallowing the lump in my throat and letting Jemma help me.

I couldn't believe she was back.