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vhagarys · 2 days

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Thunderstorms and Lightning

aunt!helaena x reader

summary: Your childhood best friend was to marry her brother Aegon. You would give the world to be in his place.

warnings: canon-typical incest, angsty, reader loves helaena (and it’s mutual), yearning <|3

She was so beautiful.

You watched in awe as your aunt descended the steps into the throne room, a halo of light seemed to cling to her frame.

Her delicate frame had been woven with a forest green gown, long sleeves with a heart-shaped neckline showcased her curves deliciously. A thin veil with small silver and gold dragons were littered across the sheer fabric, effectively covering her face.

You forced your eyes away. It was improper to ogle at the soon-to-be queen, though you couldn’t seem to avert your gaze.

Helaena would be wed to your uncle Aegon. Your fingers itched to reach out and stop her as she walked past.

As if you were observing a specimen in a museum, you could observe but could not touch.

Since childhood, you had quite the close relationship with Helaena. Her being only five years your elder, you spent much of your adolescence scavenging for bugs in the garden, failing miserably at high Valyrian, and sneaking out of the castle during the night together.

After Aegon was named heir to the iron throne, your time with Helaena began to slowly dwindle away. You knew she had no desire to be queen, yet her mother deemed it necessary to strengthen her families namesake.

News of her marriage was an illness that left you bedridden for days. Strange, ugly feelings clawed their way up your throat, emotions you had not properly understood until after your mind began to mature.

This friendship you’d developed had morphed into something far deeper, far more intimate, in your eyes at least.

You loved her. You craved her.

And she had been taken from you.

Tidings of her marriage locked you in your chambers for what felt like a fortnight. By the third evening of you not leaving your chambers, your mother Rhaenyra softy knocked and entered.

While she knew of your sadness for your dear friend’s predicament, she was ignorant of the full scope of your despair.

“My sweet daughter, it pains me to see you in such a state. Come, you must eat,” she stroked the side of your cheek, a tinge of sadness at witnessing your state.

Turning away from your mother’s touch, you laid on your side, wishing to melt into the mattress.

Childish as it may be, a sliver of you had hoped she may have reciprocated your affections. You felt pathetic as you yearned from afar, foolishly clinging to the fairytale of you running away together and forgot your regal duties.

“He does not deserve her. He is cruel and a drunk, she is kind and gentle. This marriage will destroy her,” you murmured.

Your mother sighed, “I harbor similar feelings for my half brother, dear, but this union is in our families best interest. Surely you can understand this.”

You rolled back over to face her. Deep, indigo bags rested beneath your eyes, hair knotted and unwashed. You looked absolutely dreadful.

“You know she’ll be devastated if you do not attend,” your mother pleaded, her hands finding yours and gripping them warmly.

Scrunching your eyes tightly, you attempted to rub the dried tears and sleep from your eyes.

“I will be ready,” your handmaidens soon ushered in to prepare you for the day.

————-

As expected, the ceremony was an unsavory affair. Aegon adorned a shit-eating grin practically the entire time, and when he leaned in for a kiss you had to avert your gaze, repulsed.

At one point during the exhanging of vows, Helaena swept her eyes through the crowd, until they landed on you.

A ghost of a smile was all she could give, and you’d hope your eyes did all the talking for you. You supposed you deluded yourself to the reality of the situation.

Soon, the maester degreed them wed and were promptly paraded out of the throne room.

You grimaced as you looked down to see red marks in the shape of crescents in your palms.

“May I be excused, mother,” you asked as everyone began to file out of the room.

“You may, though the banquet begins at sundown, please do come. Thank you for being brave today, sweet girl,” your mother pulled you in an embrace.

Her words were heavy in your mind as you quickly retreated back to your room.

———-

Lords and ladies from all parts of the seven kingdoms had traveled far and wide to witness the royal wedding. Hundreds filled the various tables assembled in the banquet hall.

Your maidens had dressed you in your favorite gown, with subtle lace details sewn through the neckline and sleeve cuffs. In the valley between your breasts was an intricately embroidered gold dragon, symbolizing your beloved dragon Vermithor.

Ushering them out, you daringly added a final touch to your ensemble.

As children, you and Helaena had decided to make your own family crest in the form of a stag beetle.

“Many say these creatures bring good fortune to those who treat them kindly, others say they are an omen that summons thunderstorms and lightning,” Helaena mused as she watched the bug crawled up her arm.

You watched, fascinated. “Perhaps they can mean both. Let it bring good fortune to us and storms to those against us.” She snorted, amused with your dramatics.

“Absolutely genius. To the mighty house of the stag!” She held the beetle up to the light and you both broke into a fit of laughter at each others antics.

Placed right below your collarbone, you quickly attached the pendant she had made for you of the infamous creature.

Pleased with your appearance, you made your way into the room of festivities.

Your eyes instantly locked onto the bride of the evening, sat at the royal table with her brothers, mother, and grandfather.

She shone like a star, illuminating the expanse of the room with her shimmering gold dress. Her hair half-up, half-down, she was the epitome of regal beauty.

“Is everything alright, princess?” You were shaken out of your trance by Ser Criston Cole, who managed to sneak up behind you.

Clearing your throat, you nodded. “I’m quite alright, Ser Criston, thank you.”

You scanned over the room observing the trays of small foods and goblets of wine floating around the table. Absentmindley, you reached for a glass and took a large gulp, the bitterness making your eyes scrunch in displeasure.

I’m going to need a few of these to get through the evening, you snorted to yourself.

You greeted your mother, your father Daemon brought you in his embrace and murmured how you weren’t the only one who wished to be anywhere else but here.

That made you smile. You began to scavenge the trays for vegetable pastries and skewered chicken, a goblet permanently taking residence in your left hand as you had your fill of the food.

A few more sips and you finally mustered up the courage to approach the newly weds and pay your respects.

The mere five stair ascent felt daunting. Once you reached the final step you were met face to face with your beloved friend.

Time seemed to stop as her eyes locked on you.

You froze, words escaped you as all eyes fixated on your awkward form.

You’re supposed to bow, idiot.

You bent your legs and dropped your head.

“Congratulations, your Grace,” you sheepishly lifted your head to meet your uncle smiling mischievously at you.

He lifted his goblet in acknowledgment and took a gulp of the rich, red substance.

You shifted your gaze to Helaena. Bowing again you offered softly, “Congratulations, my Queen.”

There was a tinge of sadness in her eyes at your use of such formalities.

“Thank you, dear Y/N,” her eyes drifted across your tense form. Your hair fell loosely around you in soft curls, your violet eyes sparkled in the candlelight.

She’s so beautiful, Helaena fawned.

You tossed a piece of hair behind your back just in time for her to notice the shiny pendant atop your breast.

She grinned at the fond memory.

“You look lovely this evening, your grace,” you kindly offered. The tension was palpable as unspoken words lingered in the purgatory between you both.

You tried to hide the disappointment on your face when she offered a quick thank you and directed her attention back to her plate.

Before she could open her mouth, you turned to pay your respects to the rest of the table and quickly descended the steps once more.

You exhaled. I need a drink.

———

As the hours labored on, those still left in attendance soon dwindled down to your close family, everyone taking a seat at the shared table.

You had consumed about four goblets of the tart liquid, and were properly buzzed.

“A toast to Aegon and Helaena! May this union be blessed and fortuitous,” Otto toasted, everyone raising their glasses in acknowledgment.

“To Aegon and Helaena!” others parroted.

Your eyes shifted down, wishing to cannonball into your glass of wine and disappear into the liquid.

Emotional turmoil swirled dangerously through your conscious, it’s almost over.

Aegon loudly stood from his chair, slurring his words as he proclaimed, “To my beautiful wife, Helaena. I know this union will bring nothing but good fortune to our family. I plan to fulfill all of my duties as husband, especially after tonight’s celebrations,” he smirked suggestively.

Helaena’s cheeks grew pink at his suggestive words.

A blaze of annoyance surged through you as you witnessed the embarrassement on your friend’s face.

To everyone at the table, your vexation went unnoticed… Almost everyone.

Perceptive as ever, your uncle Aemond observed the irritation etched onto your features, fingers digging into your palms, eyes flitting back and forth from your goblet to his sister.

He was well aware of your interesting relationship with his sister. Tonight, he decided to test his theory.

Rising from his seat, Aemond decreed, “A toast to my niece and nephews, Jace, Luke, Joffrey, and Y/N. I have no doubts in my mind they too will bring fortune to our family through their marital unions. Though, I know how unfortunate it may be for at least one of you that my dear sister is no longer an option.”

He stared at you just long enough for you to realize his meaning. Your cheeks flared a hue of magenta.

You felt an absolute fool that your uncle could read you so easily.

When you dared to look up, you felt Helaena’s heavy gaze on you. As if you were one of her caged creatures, you felt her scrutiny tear you open from across the table.

Whether it was the buzz from the alcohol or the emotional damn finally bursting, you abruptly stood.

“To my dear aunt and uncle, I cannot tell you how happy I am to see you both in such good spirits. I can only pray to the gods that I may be blessed with such a happy union as yours. Cheers!” You emptied the rest of your cup and plopped back down into your seat.

Aemond smirked at your antics. You evaded Helaena’s gaze as you engaged in meaningless chatter with your brothers.

———

Soon, everyone began to retire to their chambers for the evening.

Sufficiently embarrassed with your performance tonight, you excused all of your maidens and locked the door behind you.

You sighed loudly, absolutely exhausted from today’s endeavors, and deliberating sneaking into the dragonpit and flying back to Dragonstone.

Perhaps in the morning.

Just as your fingers began to pull at the the laces of your dress, a soft knock rang from your door.

You rolled your eyes.

Cracking the door, you’d anticipated your mother or father may pay you a visit.

Helaena.

“May I come in for moment?”

She came to your chambers. On her wedding night.

You glanced nervously behind her, fearful of potential onlookers witnessing the pair of you.

“Shouldn’t you be with your husband on your wedding ni-”

“Y/N,” her eyes pleaded with yours.

You couldn’t deny your delight in seeing her. Opening the door wider, you allowed her in.

“It was a beautiful ceremony,” was all you could manage, voice barely above a whisper as you fixed your gaze on the tile floors.

She moved closer to you, until you felt her fingers graze the tips of yours, her warmth seeped into your skin.

“Look at me, please,” she begged. You obeyed.

Tears were gathered at her lash line, threatening to spill as she gripped your fingers harder.

Her violet orbs shimmered like amethysts in the soft glow of the evening. You loved her eyes.

“Y/N,” she started, and you couldn’t resist reaching up to catch the single tear that teetered over the edge.

Leaning into your touch, she continued.

“Today was very hard for me.”

“It was quite a special day, was it not?” the freckles on her cheeks had grown more prominent since adolescence.

The pad of your thumb began to lightly map each one of them, committing them to memory.

She broke away from you with a small shake of her head. Finding purchase on your bed, she buried her face in her hands.

“I did not want this,” she began to weep. You found yourself sitting next to her, hesitantly tracing circles on the silk fabric her back.

You wracked your brain for any words that may ease her pain. Your heart cracked at the sight before you.

The pair of you sat in silence, she shifted further into your embrace and you wrapped your arms around her trembling frame.

After several minutes her breathing began to even, your shoulder damp from the tears she spilled.

Your fingers moved up to her hair, and weaved through the curled silver tresses. You always loved to experiment on each others hair, practicing the most ridiculous styles that never failed to bring you both to tears from laughter.

You couldn’t help but smile at the fond memory. You were so engrossed in your thoughts the words escaped you before you could fathom the weight of them.

“I love you,” you whispered into her hair. As pathetic as it sounded, a weight of relief was lifted from your shoulders. You had finally mustered the courage to say it.

You felt her pull away, and your heart cracked at the inherent rejection.

Helaena cupped both of your cheeks, reddened eyes suddenly filled with the warmth you were used to seeing.

“I know.” she leaned and rested her forehead against yours.

“I love you, Y/N.” It was your turn to feel the tears form. You exhaled a deep breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in.

Before the consequences of your actions could stop you, you leaned in to unite your lips with hers.

She responded immediately, pouring her emotions into the kiss. Your lips moulded perfectly together, and you couldn’t help but indulge in the softness of her mouth, the sweet lingering of lemon cakes on her tongue.

It felt as though you were falling, plummeting towards the ground where you’ll meet your inevitable demise.

If this was the end, you wished to spend your last moments in her embrace.

The land below was much closer than anticipated, for a knock on the door felt like a bucket of cold water poured over you both.

Breaking away, you still felt the tether of your souls connected to one another. You stared deeply into her gaze, she smiled lovingly at you and nodded.

Desperate to keep her with you, you clutched you arms that began to retract.

Please don’t take her from me.

Helaena’s lips molded to yours one last time. Your fingers twitched, aching to feel her skin against yours again.

Your maid opened the door as Helaena stood abruptly from your bed.

Meekly, she bowed her head. “Apologies my princess, your Grace. The king requests your presence at once, my queen.”

“Of course, thank you dear,” Helaena turned to you and bowed.

“I hope you have a restful evening, princess,” the formalities a stark contrast to your previous engagement.

Painfully, you nodded.

“Thank you, your grace. Congratulations on your engagement.”

She reached over and tucked your silver hair behind you, lightly grazing the beetle pinned onto your gown.

Your heart beat erratically as she stared at the pendant, nervous as your maid awaited her at the entrance of the door.

Helaena leaned into you, a final tear traveled down her cheek as she whispered, “Naejot daomikydoso se ōños, Issa jorrāelagon.”