#//Honestly; can’t wait to see what potential plot bunny I get to think up for 4.1 kfjkfjfb

[lordoftherazzles]

I can’t believe we’re at 2023!! What a year it’s been...both good and bad. First and foremost, I want to say thank you to my followers, readers, mutuals, friends, whoever you are - thank you. I couldn’t have made it through this year without you! 

I did this last year and I wanted to do it again with a few added/removed questions, but I feel like we all need a little moment to celebrate our successes and accomplishments, so here’s mine under the cut!

Fandom(s) written for: The Hobbit, Our Flag Means Death Pairings written for: Bilbo/Thorin, Ed/Stede  Number of works (total): 20 How many of those are completed?: 11 Word count (prev year): 241,178 Word count (2022): 534,448 (293,270 more than last year, not counting tumblr drabbles) # of WIPs: Enough?? Literally, I don’t know anymore loool. I have 7 active fics currently, 8 plot bunnies that have outlines/content written, and at least 15 sitting in the little brain-crockpot (aka my idea spreadsheet) waiting to be fleshed out.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

I’ll always say I wish I had posted more, there were some chunks in my year that really hit me hard and made writing nearly impossible, but looking at the actual numbers...posting almost 300k on ao3 this year? I can’t be mad at that. Here’s to hoping next year maybe I can break 300k!! 

To put my year into perspective a little bit, I broke it down a little bit more!

Posted 37 chapters/updates

Posted 7 oneshots (2 within my King and Lionheart collection)

Posted 9 plot bunnies

Finished 2 big fics (6 chapters each)

This doesn’t count the drabbles I did for tumblr, and looking at it this way, I am definitely feeling pretty good about my 2022 - here’s to hoping 2023 is even better!!

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I feel like I did!!

Participated in TRSB

Created a fic writer’s blog to support other fic writers @fellowshipofthefics

Wrote for a new fandom (OFMD)

Hosted a new Hobbit Event via FOTFICS

Plot bunny follower event!! SO MANY IDEAS.

I did a lot of birthday gift writings this year

SO MANY COLLABS!!! And more to come...

Did you participate in any fandom events this year?

I took part in two! It was my first time participating in the Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang this year, and I was partnered with the ever delightful @mysandwichranaway! We came up with a very fun modern!royalty AU that I am very proud of. Sandy did some amazing artwork for it as well, and honestly, this was my first multichapter fic finished (6 chapters!) and was written in about 3 months. Not too bad! → Between Vices and Virtues

Fellowship of the Fics hosted a Hobbit event, An Unexpected Collaboration where I was partnered with @consultingpacha! I had a few plot bunnies stored away and one worked so well with our prompt, and it was nice to get one off the list! Pacha’s artwork continues to blow me away, and I’m very happy with this fic. The positive response has been overwhelming already! → The Night We Met

Both fics have potential sequels! We’ll see how time goes for me this next year.

Do you have any fanfic or general writing goals for the new year?

I’d like to finish projects first and foremost, as well as unleash some new ones. Alongside that though as a writer I’d like to explore new situations/tropes/vocabulary/smut and just expand on what I’m doing already. I’m hoping to put out more words than I did this year, and focus more on my fics rather than events (though I had a lot of fun!)

Next year is the year of Razzy fics - I have so many different plot bunnies I want to tackle! That in itself will help me expand my horizons.

From the past year of writing, what was your…

Longest story: May Your Forge Burn Bright (79,010 words)

Shortest story: Concerning Dwobbits (2,635 words)

Top 3 by kudos: Though I don’t like to think that stats say what is a good fic and what is a bad fic, sometimes I just can’t help but look at them. My current top 3 by kudos in no particular order!

→ Seasalt and Silk (OFMD) → May Your Forge Burn Bright → Dragonhearted

Best story of this year: I am picking this one purely on the fact that in 2 chapters, it’s blowing some stats out of the water, and we’re on the pirate train (thank you, OFMD) I am thoroughly impressed with the feedback and response from this fic already, and I am so excited to continue it! It’s going to be a fun ride! → As The Tide Turns

Personal favorite of 2022: My first collab project, and with my beloved @stardryad-random!! Honestly, this story feels so original even though it has head nods to other forms of media, and it just took on a life of its own. This one will also finish out in 2023!! So be on the lookout for more updates from both myself and Star! → When Darkness Shines Brightest

Most fun to write: I think this one is a tie. I feel like I have the most genuine happy-crackshit-fun when writing two of my modern AUs that have been around for a while, both for completely different reasons. First there’s the band AU, there’s just something about a slice of life journey featuring music and books (which are two of my favorite things) that really touches my heart. Then there’s the real crackshit fic, my WWDITS inspired vampire fic, where I can literally put the stupidest ideas and it just...works, somehow. It still has a plot, I promise!! I feel like the readers have fun with these fics as well! → Bookbinder//Songwriter → Where The Shadows Lie

Most challenging to write: I think every fic is going to be challenging in some way, but the one that springs to mind (which is why it was delayed so much) is Dragonhearted. The latest update was a bit chaotic. Lots of characters, lots of fighting, and it was very important for me to ensure it was clear to the reader as to what was going on. Battle scenes aren’t something I’m overly confident in yet, but this made me figure it out pretty quickly (or slowly, actually).  → Dragonhearted

Fic I’m proudest of writing: Honestly, this is the year of events (yes, even just two) and I am insanely proud of both of them. They may not be “big behemoth fics” by any means, but considering they both have decent word counts and I did them in 1-3 months a piece, I’m pretty grateful and have every reason to be proud! → Between Vices and Virtues → The Night We Met

Story with the single sweetest moment? (Top 3)

Bookbinder//Songwriter (The Acorn Tattoo) - Bilbo has spent the evening with Bofur, Nori and Ori, preparing for Bree Bash with a more “rockified” look, which includes piercings and one tattoo. We have an “acorn” scene, a declaration of not needing to change for the other, and overall, it’s just very sweet.

Between Vices and Virtues (Gold and riches cannot compare to you) - Here we have a cliche train scene, but with a small twist. Thorin doesn’t make it to the station in time to catch Bilbo before he leaves for the Shire after a misunderstanding/falling out. He pulls strings to make the train come back so that he can right some wrongs that never should have happened in the first place.

(Take Me Back To) The Night We Met (Forget-me-nots) - Without spoiling too much as this is a newer fic, we see Thorin and Bilbo talking about a few keepsakes, such as a rune stone, some forget-me-nots, both gifted by the other. Give it a read!

Story with the most angsty moment? (Top 3)

When Darkness Shines Brightest (The Fall of Erebor) - This whole story takes the cake on “angsty” but this particular scene where Bilbo is whisked away into a shadow dream to witness for himself what happened to Erebor truly wins the angsty award.

May Your Forge Burn Bright (Mine Collapse) - Bilbo is caught in a mine collapse, and Thorin desperately tries to unbury his hobbit with doubt in his head and worry in his heart that it may be a body to be recovered.

Kurdu ‘abadaz (My sister’s sons) - Thorin gets to see Fili and Kili for the first time since Ravenhill. He’s smacked with the severity of their injuries, and naturally, blames himself.

Least popular fic: A one shot request that is a gen fic for Thorin, Fili, and Kili. I found it very fun and sweet to write, but it’s definitely showing me that ship fics get way more attention. → I’ll Keep You Safe

Biggest Disappointment: While there are always going to be highs and lows with writing, I am pretty disappointed in the response to my TRSB fic, which is one I am very proud of, and it just didn’t seem like there was the response I was looking for. I understand that the event was VERY Silm heavy, and probably should have altered my expectations, but I had wanted it to do better. Sandy and I both worked very hard on this Modern Royalty Bagginshield fic. I know modern!au can be a bit finicky with the fandom...but give it a chance!! → Between Vices and Virtues

Biggest Surprise: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Collaboration - honestly, this fic was a small nugget of a plot bunny after spotting some artwork some months ago, and I wanted to do a little short story based off of it. It blew up. It was a perfect prompt for Pacha and I’s collab, and it’s not even been out a month, and it’s SOOOO loved by the community??? I’ve never had a story with so many comments asking for a sequel. It’s overwhelming in the most unexpected, yet amazing, way! → The Night We Met

What can we expect in 2023?

Word Count: I almost hit 300k this year, so I want to surpass the 300k mark if possible!

Finishing Fics: I am determined to finish a few of my big fics such as ”Dragonhearted”, “May Your Forge Burn Bright”, and “When Darkness Shines Brightest”!

Starting Fics: Some of the plot bunnies are going to show up in 2023, you can check them out → here!

Collaborative Works: I would love to do more collabs with my fellow creators! (Stay on the look out, you just might see @sunnyrosewritesstuff and I working together soon enough.)

FOTFICS Participation/Drabbles: While I don’t really take requests anymore, I will be participating in more FOTFICS monthly challenges - which means taking suggestions from my followers <3

Positive Vibes Only: A more positive Razzy.

Now, to tie off my Year In Review, the ever lovely @i-did-not-mean-to tagged me in a fun little game to show off some of my favorite bits of work I’ve done this year.

Five works I'm proud of (tho I’m proud of them all)

When Darkness Shines Brightest

As The Tide Turns

Bookbinder//Songwriter

Dragonhearted

May Your Forge Burn Bright

Four new WIPs I am excited to release next year

Fuck Thy Neighbor (Accidental Marriage)

Led Only By The Stars (Space!AU)

Sweeter Than Honey (Modern!AU)

Heartstones (Soulmate!AU)

Top three improvements

I’ve improved in expanding my horizons to different tropes/Ideas I didn’t think I would touch before.

I do not check the stats regularly, and I feel a LOT better as a writer and just overall mentally.

My outlining/organization process has SIGNIFICANTLY improved this year, and it’s making my life a ton easier.

Top two resolutions

Finish some big fics!!!

Never compare myself to another author. There is only one of me, and my stories are unique to me and make me happy, that’s what matters.

(Honorary mention: I want to read more fics!!!)

Favorite line

This is an impossible question, but I threw an imaginary dart that landed on my pirate AU, so we gotta go with this one!

“What have we here? A stowaway, or a rat? I’ll give you this, you almost had it…but the secret to escaping somewhere quietly,” that blade tilted a bit, forcing Bilbo’s chin upwards as the man holding it crouched, knees bent to bring them near face to face, “is to be quiet.” (-> As The Tide Turns)

I picked this because....let’s be real, the sexual tension of this scene alone is just....yes. Bilbo’s chin tipped up with a sword, hell yeah.

[awkenorslumped]

who lied to you ?

    Importance of the Spiritual Journey, universal signs and the unexpected!

As Summer Walker once said The spiritual journey isn’t about the astethic of crystals or the ideal that people have created to make it a fetish on social media. The true meaning of the spiritual journey as Summer Walker said its about the ability to take accountability for the choices one makes that affect their lives . Its about accepting who you truly are inside to show on the outside, Literally living in your true form not caring for the validation of others.

 Many think the Spirituality is about the crystals or the “witching”, the burning of sage and manifestation.  Take in mind that manifestation does play a part into it but there is much more depth. On your journey the importance is acknowledging that its about connecting deep to your inner self.   The path is for you to really get to know yourself the true depth of who you are. Connecting to yourself through meditation means having a place where you feel safe and serene to focus your mind on yourself to analyze stuff within you that you can’t make a connection to why things happen to you in life. Connecting the subconscious to the conscious to make yourself whole.

 I believe that before we’re born into the human realm we live in our spiritual homes before we’re meant to save those who we feel need help remembering who they truly are. I feel when we dream we are actually transporting back to our TRUE homes and forms.  Scientist and the government are aware but they fear that when we realize it they can’t control it. They do research to figure out how to weaponize the ability and for complete control.  Starseeds, Ascendants , Reiki Masters, The spiritually attuned etc are the people who are reincarnated to help break the cycle of control. The attuned don’t live for materialistic things they admire it but its never a true need, they don’t hold true value to the soul. 

 The journey is complex because you have to really really focus on yourself the past, the trauma , the fear and self doubt.  Once you’ve overcome or can accept those your eyes will be open to the propaganda and the actual things happening in the world. Nothing will surprise you. 

 All those horror movies , sci fy movies where do you think the ideas come from ? Its not a coincidence its stuff that has happened before. They are signs and information in plain sight its for you to see the true info over what they put into distract you. The government has the goal to control the world for greed and power, while possibly some higher beings want to test us or sort us out from the true of heart to the wicked of heart. There is no good without a little bad, no light without dark and that goes for ourselves , the government and the higher beings some of us haven’t met yet.

 We’re able to tell when we encounter others like us , we connect with them instantly they match our full energy potential without of dimming it. The goosebumps you get when you feel an eerie presence or feel your in the wrong place. That gut feeling that something is wrong is your subconscious telling you that a higher being that is most likely malicious or want to control you for a pet for their own amusement.  The higher beings that observe us as entertainment are the ones who are in contact and work with the government for their desire of entertainment. The higher beings have been around longer than we have and seen many things also are more advance, they could give us the tools for world peace but they don’t instead they feed us info for world domination and destruction for pure laughter. The reptilians enjoy destruction because they feel they are superior to the pure of heart . To be fair there is a balance so what makes people think the universe wouldn’t have a balance between alien races ? 

Lets bring you back to earth for a second, we humans HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA OF ALL THE CREATURES THAT LIVE HERE ! We’ve barely made a dent in prehistoric creatures. But lets take a dive down this bunny whole, If the earth we live on has been around for billions of years and has all these layers why the fuck would we assume we would know all the creatures and beings that have lived here before us ? Mythical creatures were & are real. Sea beings and creatures are real. Why is it hard to accept that there are legitimate things we know nothing us. But instead we humans want to prove we’re smarter beings? The joke is on everyone that believes that with their entire being. Honestly you have to be narcissitic to find that to be a true statement. How can we humans know everything about something that’s been around longer than us just because we dug through a small layer and found some bones. WE CAN’T EVEN GO TO THE TRUE DEPTH OF THE OCEAN SO HOW WOULD WE KNOW ALL THE SPECIES AND HUMANOIDS THAT CALL THE OCEAN HOME?? MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE! Scientist believe because they have a phd or doctorate that they are geniuses and make minor discoveries ? Its not a major discovery when most people are like we knew that already because we know there are other beings and species out there. You can’t fool the awaken ok, we have woken up because we were meant to. Shifts are happening and whatever deal was made could be coming to and end soon because the government is fucking up. Or hear me out the true form of the deal is coming where the humans who aren’t awake will never awake and will be under the control of the reptilians and the people in the government who work with them . But little do they know that the reptilians will in fact double cross them. Why, you ask? Simply the reptilians are smart, mischievous and  clever but not too smart that they can’t be overcame. Typing this up I feel goosebumps why cause im aware im being watched I’ve acknowledged things im not meant to be aware of . Also because im writing this with all intentions of exposing what needs to be brought to light.  Religion is a TOOL USED TO HAVE ALL OUR MINDS FOCUS ON ONE BEING THEY TOLD US WAS ALL MIGHTY BUT IN REALITY ITS THE REPTILIANS WHO CAME WITH THAT PLOT. BY BELIEVING IN ONE MIGHTY BEING YOU WILL BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT POWER SAYS AND WILL NOT SECOND GUESS THEM. HELLO THE CONSTITUTION HAS THE SAME STRUCTURE HAS THE 10 COMMANDMENTS IN THE BIBLE. WHY??!? WHY HAVE LAWS THAT YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW UNQUESTIONED JUST LIKE THE 10 COMMANDMENTS YOUR EXPECTED TO FOLLOW IF YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH JESUS IN HEAVEN. Riddle me this why would Jesus who is suppose to be forgiving and loving turn his back on you for not following rules he made? He gave us free will so why would he forsake us if we don’t follow his rules. ALSO WHY WOULD HE ASK A FOLLOWER TO KILL HIS ONLY SON?!?! That there gave it away that religion as made as a secondary form of government to make people obedient and further help the reptilians plot for control of humans. Have the humans do your dirty work while you give them information or false information to complete your task while you sit back relax watch and wait until its almost completed and they come to take reign .ONCE you realize what done and try to rebel you get wiped out and they try again. Many planets many chances to complete a goal. ALSO all those people who’ve exposed the truth were killed because the people who don’t want the revolution are instructed to keep the secret by any means necessary. How come the Egyptians, the mayan , aztecs, Atlantans had contact with humanoids that helped them advance their ENTIRE civilizations, yet the government has know about “aliens” been in contact with them yet our civilization hasn’t advance . Shouldn’t that there tell you the humanoids they are in contact with aren’t here to actually help us. The world needs to open their eyes and see the truth. 

     If you think I’m crazy then explain why they haven’t found a single bone from the mayan civilization of the people who lived there, why can’t we explain atlantis, why is it that  all these advance civilizations just go missing , not as though their city was rampaged but left in tact in one piece but the people left. NO THEY WERE SAVED BY THEIR ANCESTORS OF THE TRUE OF HEART BEFORE THE REPTILIANS TRIED TO DESTROY THEM. 

WAKE UP, OPEN YOUR EYES, CONNECT YOUR MIND AND SOUL. SAVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU MISS THE SAVING SHIP.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

One In A Million - Chpt.9

Summary: Now that the timeline is irrevocably altered Rose has to make a tough decision. Content Warning: smut, a good bit of it.

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Well, we’re winding down now. Only one more chapter and the epilogue to go. Honestly this chapter is a bit of serious plot followed smut, like half the chapter is smut lol. So... enjoy! XOXO - Ash

Chapter Nine

You know there is no fixing what’s happened. The timeline is irrevocably changed now that Bucky made it through the draft. Your jump point is a month away, circled in red on the calendar hanging in your kitchen. You had spent so much time thinking of ways you could extract yourself from their lives but now the looming reality is, you don’t necessarily have to. You had forged a split in the timeline and this reality is going to keep going whether or not you’re a part of it. The pressing need to jump back to your time so as not to disrupt realities is no longer an issue, the damage is done. 

You’re quiet that night while the guys celebrate Bucky’s good luck. They dance around the living room to old records, trying to get you to join in on their fun. Steve puts on La Vie En Rose, imploring you to dance with him to the sweet tune that initiated your first kiss. You relent, dancing around your tiny living room in his arms, Bucky watching from the sofa with soft eyes. It’s difficult to accept that this could be your life. There are so many pros and cons to staying and you had never really stopped to consider it as a real option. 

Later that night you lay awake in the darkness on your side of the bed. Steve is tangled up with Bucky like an octopus but you only have one ankle looped into their jumble. You stare up at the ceiling running through plans and calculations and options. It’s some time around 2am that you come to the conclusion that you don’t want to go back. A scary revelation for sure, but one a small part of you had suspected was coming for months now.  

The 1940s are problematic compared to your modern life but all the issues don’t overshadow your love for Steve and Bucky. You’ll have to be careful, hiding your relationship until well into your old age when polyamory becomes more acceptable. Steve and Bucky will have to hide their love until then too, unfortunately. You’ll have to put up with society considering you inferior just because you’re a woman. There won’t be a Starbucks latte back in your life until you’re too old to really enjoy one. You won’t have the luxury of a smartphone or a decent computer until you’re well into your eighties. It’s jarring to realize how much you had taken for granted when you were volunteering to go back. 

You look over at your guys, sighing quietly to yourself in the darkness. It’s still worth it. Every inconvenience, every struggle, it’s worth it to have them in your life. To get to see the soft little looks Bucky gives Steve when he’s overcome with love for him. To spend a quiet day listening to the scritching of charcoal on paper as Steve loses himself in another drawing. Getting to see the way the first rays of sunlight hit Steve’s golden mane of hair in the early morning. Hearing Bucky’s laugh, so loud and authentic, when something funny catches him off guard. The way they both will randomly scoop you up in their arms, peppering you with kisses and whispers of I love you. Staying with them is worth it all in spades. 

The next day you’re the first one up. You had caught a few hours sleep in the wee hours of the morning but they were restless ones. A pot of coffee brews on the stove, the smell alone helping to wake you up. You’re making pancakes for your guys, a special Saturday morning treat that you make sometimes when the mood strikes. There are fluffy stacks waiting on plates when Steve finally emerges from the bedroom looking adorably sleep rumpled. Bucky is only a few steps behind, yawning and stretching as he joins you. 

“Wow, I got lucky two days in a row now. I should put down money on a game or something.” Bucky teases, snatching up a plate for himself. 

“Actually these were a treat for Steve.” you say just to be smart. 

With a wicked smirk, Steve grabs the plate away from Bucky who scrabbles after it frantically, unwilling to lose his precious breakfast treat. 

You roll your eyes and give one of the other plates to Bucky, placing a kiss on top of his disheveled hair when he takes his seat at the table, “You’re lucky I love you both.” 

“And we know it.” he tells you before taking a bite of the hot syrup laden cakes. 

You spend a lazy weekend at home with the guys, quietly working through your plans to get word back to your team that you’re okay. Steve paints with watercolors and Bucky works on repairing the broken slats in your fence out back, both of them happily occupied while you plan. You’ve run through every scenario you can think of and it should work the way you intend it to. The jump point is designed to take you back to the lab and it’s timeline, but it may not necessarily need you. The brooch needs to be activated and then, after a short countdown, the brooch and whatever it’s attached to will blink back to the lab. You don’t know if it requires an actual living creature or if an inanimate object will do but you figure something with a pulse is a safer bet. Some poor little mouse or bunny is going to have the journey of a lifetime. The team will be displeased you messed up the timeline but hopefully they understand your reasons for staying. 

Plans set in your mind, all you have to do now is wait a few weeks until the jump point. The world seems to shift again now that things have been decided. You feel connected to the thrumming city around you again. The older man running the butcher shop seems kinder, the girl who works at the bakery could be a potential new friend. Possibilities are endless now that you have time. 

Dinner is a lively affair. All three of you are restless after a whole day of hanging around the house. Bucky cooks up the steaks you’d bought on your quick trip out and you toast the bread you’d gotten from the bakery in the oven with lots of butter and garlic. Steve mixes up a salad of vegetables from your kitchen basket and your garden, wanting to contribute to the meal. It’s a nice spread by the time you’re all done and you choose to eat outside on a blanket so you can watch the sunset. The weather is warming up finally and as long as you have a light sweater you’ll be okay to stay out for a bit even once the sun goes down. 

As expected, none of you want to go inside, even after nightfall. Stargazing in the city isn’t great due to the light pollution but you can still see some of the twinkling stars in the night sky. You’re lying between Steve and Bucky who are wrapped around you and holding hands across your middle. It’s sweet and you can see why Bucky loves being in the center of the bed. The guys are up to something, you can tell when they start to stroke along each other’s hands and wrists with slow, fluid motions. Soon they’re littering kisses on your shoulders and nuzzling in closer. 

“You see that pretty little constellation there?” Bucky says pointing at the night sky, “The one to the right of the moon?” 

“Cassiopeia?” you ask him, zig zagging your finger along its shape.

“Our girl is smart, Steve.” Bucky praises, “Yeah, darlin’, cassiopeia. Did you know you have almost the exact same pattern in freckles on the back of your right thigh?”

“I do not.” you snort.

“You do,” Steve chimes in, adding in a low tone, “I would be happy to show you if you’d like to move this inside.” 

You roll your eyes at his antics but shrug, “I think that can be arranged.” 

Bucky is standing before you can even fully sit up, he scoops you up into his arms and you let out a very unladylike squeal. Steve is shushing you, grinning as if he approves of Bucky’s ridiculous show of bravado. You’re glad you ran the dishes in earlier but the cups and blankets will have to wait until morning. All three of you have other things in mind.

Bucky carries you all the way to your bedroom, depositing you on the enormous bed with a playful flop. Bouncing on the mattress elicits another squeak from you and Bucky chuckles at the sound. Crawling over your body like a lion going in for the kill, Bucky starts unbuttoning the long trail of opalescent buttons on the front of your dress. He only gets down to your waist before he showers your breasts with kisses, mouthing over the slippery satin of your brassiere until your breaths are coming in harsh gasps. You roll your head to the side, eyes fluttering open for a minute and you catch sight of Steve. And what a sight it is. Steve is leaning up against the door frame, still fully clothed, palming himself over his trousers. His cheeks are stained a deep pink, pupils blown wide with lust. “Stevie.” you gasp out his name like a prayer.

Bucky lifts his head at your voice and looks back catching sight of Steve himself. “Gonna join us?” he asks, pulling back from you to extend a hand.

Steve gives him a lazy, smug smile before coming over to take his hand. Bucky pulls him in quickly, Steve slamming against his chest roughly. Bucky’s mouth is demanding, possessive, and Steve can’t get enough. You lay back, content to watch them have their moment. Fumbling with your buttons you get them all undone and push the sides away, leaving you bare except for your bra and panties. Your guys are taking their time loving on one another above you so you take the opportunity to slip a hand down between your folds. If you’re going to have a front row seat, you might as well enjoy the show. 

A breathless unf slips past your lips; you got yourself closer to the edge much faster than you’d expected. Both pairs of blue eyes snap down to look at you and your hand stills beneath your panties. “Hi” you say sheepishly. 

“Whatcha doin’ doll?” Steve asks with a smirk.

“Enjoying the show.” 

“If you’re enjoying it so much maybe you should join in.” Steve leans down to trail kisses from your throat down to the lacy edge of your panties. Bucky is kissing lines along Steve’s back and you don’t know which is working you up more, Steve’s mouth on your skin or Bucky’s on his.

“You like watching us?” Bucky taunts, having caught on to your not so subtle staring.

You nod, “Yeah. So much.”

“What if, instead of taking turns, tonight we can all enjoy ourselves together?” 

Steve’s whole body shudders at the suggestion but you’re unsure of the logistics.

“How? I mean, yes. But, how?”

“Well, you can stay right there and let Stevie fill up that perfect little pussy of yours, and while he’s busy doing that I’ll be busy filling him up.” 

Steve whimpers and you moan. Bucky knew his suggestion would be a hit but he loves hearing your reactions. You nod frantically, helping Steve get your clothes off while Bucky undresses himself and starts tugging at Steve’s shirt. “Stevie,” Bucky coos after he gets all three of you bare, “Why don’t you go down on our girl while I get you ready?” 

Steve doesn’t have to be told twice, sliding quickly down your body to oblige Bucky’s request. You lean up a little on your elbows, wanting to watch. Bucky is so careful with Steve, slowly pressing a vaseline coated finger into his hole until Steve gasps against your throbbing clit. Bucky is babbling a stream of praise as he adds another finger, slowly working Steve open. Steve has to pause, resting his head against you, hips thrust involuntarily, when Bucky grazes his prostate with two curled fingers. “Buck, enough. I wanna feel it. Enough.” Steve pants out, desperate. 

“You good, darlin’?” Bucky asks you, making sure you don’t need more time yourself. 

“Mhmm” you moan in assent. 

Steve moves up from between your legs, holding onto your hips with a loving squeeze as he lines himself up with your entrance. He pushes in slowly as always, letting you get used to the size of him before burying himself fully inside you. Steve stills and you see Bucky running a hand along his back, giving Steve a moment before he breaches the tight ring of muscles and drives himself home. Steve is shaking, breaths coming in pants, and he’s gripping your hips so tightly you’re certain you’ll have bruises in the morning. You’re not sure who starts moving first but after a moment the three of you fall into a rhythm, gradually increasing your pace until it’s frenzied and desperate. Steve reaches a hand down to toy with your already too sensitive clit and you fall off the edge of your orgasm. Steve curses, knowing he should have expected the chain reaction he just set off. Between Bucky hitting his prostate with every thrust and your inner walls squeezing around his cock while you come beneath him, it’s all just too much. Steve comes with a shout, harder than he has ever before in his life, and thinks he may actually black out for a breathless moment. Bucky, driven to his own edge watching you fall apart for Steve, is lost when Steve’s muscles clamp down around him while he comes. Bucky gets a few more stuttering thrusts before he’s spilling deep in Steve who shudders a few more futile thrusts in you at the sensation. You’re breathing heavily under the pile of your guys, amazed and blissed out beyond words. 

Bucky is laying delicately on Steve who is laying not delicately on top of you. He’s so light though, it doesn’t bother you and you wrap your arms around him when he starts to roll off to the side when Bucky finally lets him go. All three of you need cleaned up but no one’s brains are working quite yet and instead you lay in your tangle, idly stroking whatever limbs are closest and enjoying the quiet post orgasmic bliss. 

A little while later Steve nudges your chin with his, getting you to look him in the eye. “That was okay, right?”

You give him a reassuring smile, “More than alright.” 

He lets out a relieved breath at your words. “Good. Great. I love being with you, I really do. But Buck and I… we go way back and I still need him too sometimes.” 

“Sweetheart, I didn’t expect you and Bucky to stop having sex just because we started. You two should still enjoy each other whenever you want, whether it includes me or not. I’m sure there will be times when it’s just you and me or just Bucky and me. That needs to be okay too.” 

“You really are one in a million.”  Steve says, his voice soft with something akin to wonder. He snuggles closer, wrapping you so tight you can scarcely breathe. Bucky huffs seeing Steve enveloping you and dives on top of you both so as not be left out. Between the squirming and laughter somehow you get comfortable and a shower is put off again until cooler heads can prevail.

Tag list! @wolfarrowepz​

[klcthebookworm]

2020 My Year In Fic

2020 Fiction Word Count:

86691 / 126531 words. 69% done!

Insights To Not Forget:

So I had a beautiful plan that I was going to reset and hit the ground running for 2021. See Year Zero is Reset Year.

Covid-19 was officially found in my state March 9, 2020, and life found unforeseen territory.

March 24th, I had to adjust to working at home. June 1st, back to working in the office and commuting daily. November 30th, we're back on a modified work from home/office plan (day at home, next day commuting in). I haven't gotten sick and I haven't passed on covid-19 to anyone else. For 2020, that is the biggest win anyone can have. 1.83 million people (to date) didn't get that win.

Would I have forgotten about my buckle down and reset plans without a global pandemic distracting me? Quite likely, I tend to forget all my plans every year. In fact, the writing business plan that I made to cover the year (I use it below for all the goals of the year), the printed version is on my filing cabinet and covered with so many other notes, I can't read the plan. (Removed the notes). This is for 2019. I never printed out 2020's?

And you can see by the total words written, I came under what I wanted to write. Let's see what I accomplished this year.

Stories I Posted:

Star Wars: Sororal Lineality: Aftermath: Word count = 3309. The Fic Whining Circle was getting stories ready for May the Fourth. I decided that this story would be perfectly short to get it up and started writing on May 2nd. I didn't get it finished for May the Fourth, but put it up on Revenge of the Fifth. And then it turned out to be the only story I posted in 2020.

Stories I Finished:

Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences: Word count = 126,607 (31,008 written previously + 49,572 written in 2019 + 46,027). The first draft was finished on July 28th, and it took the rest of the year to get my first edits polished to a second draft for my beta to go over. Now I need to go prod her so I can start posting in 2021.

Star Wars: Sororal Lineality: MJ-0002: Word count = 5664 (387 written in 2019 + 5277). I finished this short story as planned after I finished Unexpected Consequences and before I picked up the next novel. I hope to post it after Unexpected Consequences, but I may need to use it for a May the Fourth story.

Stories I Didn't Finish:

Strix: Forget the Sun: Word count = 31,146 (26,588 written previously + 4279 written in 2019 + 279 written in January) I took a very tiny stab at this novel in January and promptly lost it to work on other things.

Star Wars: Looking For Home Future Timeline: Word count = 7598. So at the end of February, I got stuck on giving the Sequel Trilogy Trio better movie(s) and started writing detailed notes on a future story that will probably never been written. I had already put Rey and Poe Dameron in the sketchy future of the Looking For Home so I needed to figure out how to add Finn. I got stuck with the Third Act, and probably need to declare it has to be a trilogy to get the resolutions I want. Maybe I need a Death Star.

Star Wars: Everybody Lives But Maul: Another plot bunny developed during the year. Mara Jade was given to Darth Vader to annoy him so he would eventually murder her, but he bonds with her instead. So Palpatine orchestrates that Lady Vader's path crosses Maul's on Tatooine. Only Luke Skywalker and Biggs Darklighter ruin the planned outcomes, and Mara remains on Tatooine for her safety. I really don't know if it will be a novel or something else yet.

Star Wars: Everybody Lives But Maul: Prologue: Word count = 1385. So far all I have written in this AU is the scene of the adoption of Lady Vader. I don't know where this scene will end up in the finished work.

Star Wars: Rescue the Farmboy: Mission on Mimban: Word count = 22,882 (8093 written in 2019 + 14,789). After writing "MJ-0002," I came back to Mission on Mimban from the beginning. Still working on it.

What I Think About My Stories:

My favorite story this year: Star Wars: Unexpected Consequence. I can't wait to turn this one lose on the readers.

Story most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Star Wars: Looking For Home: Future Timeline. I really need to spend some more brain time on this one if just to find a conclusion that makes me happy.

Most fun story: Everybody Lives But Maul. I really wasn't expecting to write it accept the idea would not leave the muse alone and then this happened:

KLCtheBookWorm: I really don't know what to do with Vader and Leia... unless he goes into her cell deactivates the IO droid and "Now Princess can we discuss waging war against Palpatine? Because he orchestrated my first family's death, has tried to kill my daughter, and your rebellion has made her flee her safe haven so he will potential see her again. He will not have her or my grandson." Sithspit, why does the muse want to rewrite OT constantly? JediMordsith: lolol Hmmm.... that could be interesting. Or he could go to Bail. "I will give you your daughter back if you help me get mine back." KLCtheBookWorm: YOU GAVE ME MORE PEOPLE TO HELP LIVE! JediMordsith: Bail convinces the rest of the Rebel leaders to work with Vader to take down the Emperor because he knows what a father's love is. KLCtheBookWorm: I always consider Alderaan's destruction a fixed point in time But the conversation between Bail and Mon Mothma. "You wanna do what now?"

Yeah, at that point I will write it.

Stories I wrote that I never thought I'd write: Star Wars: Everybody Lives But Maul. Technically I haven't really started the narrative, but really, Muse, was not expecting yet another rewrite of the OT. This one is the third, after Rescue the Farmboy and Sororal Lineality.

Hardest story to write: Star Wars: Looking For Home Future Timeline. I have never gotten stuck in which I couldn't finish off an outline. And this is so stuck.

Biggest disappointment: Strix: Forget the Sun. I did not even try for NaNo during the pandemic. (Huge props to everyone who did). I'm considering to do NaNo in April instead in 2021 to finish this novel.

Biggest surprise: I only posted ONE THING! I'm not beating myself up for any of the results of 2020 because it was garbage year, but I honestly didn't plan to leave my readers hanging so hard. On the plus side, they will have at least 30 weeks of new content to read in 2021.

What's your favorite piece of dialogue you wrote this year? From Star Wars: Sororal Lineality: Aftermath.

Luke opened his eyes to Leia’s suspicious face. “She was arguing with Threepio. I went the other way.” “So she couldn’t put you back in the medbunk.” Leia bounced to her feet and helped leverage him out of his seat. “You are going right back to it and staying in it until we reach the Fleet, Commander.” “Aye, aye, Colonel,” Luke replied with less than the banter he normally did. He leaned heavily on Leia, more than he should. Lando finished locking down the controls and followed behind them. “Colonel? Not a General?” “Not a General yet,” Luke responded with a wheezy laugh.

It took a while to figure out what Leia's military actual rank is based of costumes and plot actions in Empire Strikes Back. Major Bren Derlin didn't get a yes from Leia because she loves the two men out in the cold, but because she out ranks him.

What's your favorite piece of description or narration you wrote this year? From Star Wars: Soroal Lineality: MJ-0002.

The last one she dared to open was a recording. Her memory replayed on the screen: a child’s best dress colored green as the recorder tilted down, followed by looking back at the sad adults in the shadows of the shuttle’s lights. She heard the woman’s quavering voice, “Please, don’t take my baby.” Then the gnarled hand extended from the sleeve of the black robe and a tiny hand took it, and the recorder turned to the lit hatch at the top of the ramp. Mara's surroundings registered in waves after that. Her glutes were tingling as she shifted from sitting in a collapsed position on the floor. The floor was cold stone. The recording was playing on a loop above her head. She hadn’t fainted because she wasn’t flat on her back. She climbed up to her feet and shut off the playback. Now the title of the file burned into her retinas, Primary Memory Imprint for Murdering Judges Clone Line.

I can't wait to share this story with readers.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would, less, or about what you predicted? Oh I came in under what I had aimed for, only writing to 69% of my goal that I set from what I wrote in 2019. But 2020 was a garbage year so I'm not beating myself up over word count results. As I went through the year though, I noticed that August and September were totally spent on just editing and no new words. That means I need to watch the schedule in 2021.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I have officially started the write a series of short stories and keep them under 7500 words. I need more practice writing short, which is why I plotted Sororal Lineality this way.

Did you meet last year's goals?

That's a no, and boy, how is it a no. 2021 Goal is to not have Leeloo laugh at me.

The goals from my unprinted 2020 one-page business plan are:

Use Ali Luke's Two Year Novel Plan to finish the Strix series

January - May 2020: Finish Strix: Forget the Sun's first draft = Nope, not done yet.

June - October 2020: Finish Strix: Forget the Sun's second draft = Nope.

Writing Star Wars AU fanfics

Finish Unexpected Consequences' first draft = Done

Start writing Sororal Lineality = Two stories done out of 28

Finish Rescue the Farmboy: Mission on Mimban's first draft = Nope, but I am currently writing it.

Send Unexpected Consequences to beta reader = Done

Send Sororal Lineality stories to beta reader = Done

Edit Unexpected Consequences = In Progress

Edit Sororal Lineality stories = Done

Post regularly to Intentionally Left Blank, Dreamwidth, Discipline Under Fire, Tumblr Random Thoughts, Pillowfort = Do once a week on Saturdays = I haven't been doing this at all. Tumblr posts happen when I'm home but usually reposting and not anything I have written.

BookWorm's Library website maintenance = Work on once a week on Sundays = Really need to do this

Make sure the software is up to date once a month

Add any files that need adding

Add Media Center to BookWorm's Library = Work on once a week on Sundays = Hasn't happened yet

Create section

Make artwork

Code section

Upload files

Add more fanfics to AO3

Upload Zackverse in story order = Nope, not yet

Upload Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences when edited on Ao3 = In Progress

Upload Sororal Lineality stories when edited = In Progress

Upload Rescue the Farmboy: Liberation to FF.net and the Library when finished = Oops, forgot about this

Upload Rescue the Farmboy: One More Service to FF.net and the Library when finished = Oops, forgot about this

Post Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences to FF.net = In Progress

Post Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences to Library = In Progress

My daily writing plans to help the above list of goals get done:

Write 600 daily words. Can be split among the projects. I'm making the yearly goal to reach whatever number I actually reach on December 31st.

Write and edit every day.

Schedule website updates and fanmix work on the weekends.

Work in meditation time with Brain FM.

Use my Kanban Flow checklist consistently.

Don't let chores pile up now that you have two jobs plus writing to do.

Reward myself when goals are reached throughout my Reset Year.

Do you have any goals for the coming year? The goals from my 2021 one-page business plan are:

Use Ali Luke's Two Year Novel Plan to finish the Strix series

April - August 2021: Finish Strix: Forget the Sun's first draft (I'm going to push myself to get it done in by treating April as NaNo, but more time is available if I need it)

Sept. - Dec. 2021: Finish Strix: Forget the Sun's second draft

Writing Star Wars AU fanfics

Finish Unexpected Consequences' third draft

Finish Rescue the Farmboy: Mission on Mimban's first draft

Edit Rescue the Farm: Mission on Mimban to second draft

Send Rescue the Farm: Mission on Mimban to beta reader

Finish Rescue the Farm: Mission on Mimban third draft/li>

Finish Sororal Lineality: Miha first draft

Edit Sororal Lineality: Miha to second draft

Send Sororal Lineality: Miha to beta reader

Finish Sororal Lineality: Miha third draft

Writing Zackverse

Work on Hyrueliana's overhaul

Post regularly to Intentionally Left Blank, Dreamwidth, Discipline Under Fire, and Tumblr Random Thoughts = Do once a week

BookWorm's Library website maintenance = Work on once a week on Sundays

Make sure the software is up to date once a month

Add any files that need adding

Add Media Center to BookWorm's Library = Work on once a week on Sundays

Create section

Make artwork

Code section

Upload files

Add more fanfics to AO3

Upload Zackverse in story order

Upload Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences when edited on Ao3

Upload Sororal Lineality: MJ-0002 on Ao3 on May 4th

Reload Sororal Lineality: Aftermath on Ao3

Upload Soroal Lineality: Miha to Ao3

Upload Rescue the Farmboy: Liberation to the Library

Upload Rescue the Farmboy: One More Service to the Library

Post Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences to Library

Upload Looking For Home: My Home Is You to the Library

Upload Looking For Home: Outcast to Library

Upload Sororal Lineality: MJ-0002 to the Library

Upload Sororal Lineality: Aftermath to the Library

Upload Sororal Lineality: Miha

Update FF.net profile of where newer stories are now

My daily writing plans to help the above list of goals get done:

Write 600 daily words. Can be split among the projects. I'm making the yearly goal to reach whatever number I actually reach on December 31st.

Write and edit every day.

Schedule website updates and fanmix work on the weekends.

Work in meditation time with Brain FM.

Use my Kanban Flow checklist consistently.

Don't let chores pile up now that you have two jobs plus writing to do.

Here's to 2021. We'll get through it together.

[makeste]

ITP: an incomplete but lovingly assembled list of people who have it out for my kid

hi anon, thank you!!

and omg. I... don’t know, lol. like, I’ve thought about it before, but I always just ended up going “???”. there just doesn’t seem to be anyone tailor-made for him, and it’s honestly weird. shounen tropes have taught me that these things are always foreshadowed in advance. so where is it? WHERE IS THE FORESHADOWING, WHERE ARE MY TROPES. he literally got kidnapped by a whole troupe of them and not a one made any real effort to click. that was like the villain equivalent of The Bachelor and it still didn’t get us anywhere omg.

anyways, since I’m undecided, I’ve taken the liberty of listing and rating all of the Possible Bakugou Antagonists I could think of on a scale of 1 to 10, and I’m not gonna pretend like I didn’t enjoy every second of it, either.

Spinner - 1/10

no offense Spinner. you’re a great guy. but we just didn’t connect. you have absolutely nothing in common. those sparks just aren’t flying. I’m sorry. you’ll find someone someday I know it just keep being true to yourself.

Stain - 1/10

gtfo.

Mr. Compress - 2.5/10

I have no idea who Mr. Compress will end up battling, but it won’t be Bakugou. how do I know this? I just know.

Dabi - 3/10

honestly, Dabi kind of has chemistry with everyone. so it’s a shame he’s already spoken for. by three other people, no less. between Endeavor, Shouto, and Hawks, he’s really got his hands full already. it really is a pity because he was the one who actually kidnapped Bakugou, like grabbed him by the back of the neck and dragged him through the portal and everything. but he has beef with too many other people to make room in his fridge for even more. sorry Bakugou.

someone from the Liberation Army - 3.5/10

they had better not! he deserves someone more interesting! but, the one thing they do have going for them is their fierce commitment to the whole QUIRKS ARE SUPERIOR!! ideology, because I do have to admit, there’s a part of me that does like the idea of Reformed Shithead Bakugou Katsuki taking a stand against some prejudiced dickbags. so yeah. but also, no.

Twice - 4/10

honestly this rating is too high. there’s no chemistry here either. but on the other hand, Twice is basically the Kirishima of villains, and I just really enjoy the concept of him antagonizing Bakugou lol. plus he does have the whole Satisfying Cannon Fodder thing going for him too on account of he can clone himself x infinity and just attack Baku in waves only to get repeatedly blown up. this does win him extra points, because I feel like one of the important criteria for a Bakugou Antagonist is the ability to actually put up not just a good fight, but an entertaining one, and that’s pretty difficult against a quirk like Kacchan’s. so yeah. this honestly won’t happen but if it did I would be down for it.

Gigantomachia - 4.5/10

on the one hand, Machia is insanely powerful and definitely a worthy antagonist. but on the other hand he has no personality whatsoever aside from LOYAL TO AFO!!! so yeah, he gets mad points for being a challenge, but I can’t see him having staying power.

 okay so now we’re done with the ones who really have no chance, and on to the ones who genuinely could really pull it off. starting with...

 Toga - 6/10

okay so Toga is pretty much a lockdown for being Ochako’s main villain honestly. but I’m gonna give her a decent score anyway, for three reasons:

(1) I love her.

(2) Bakugou is thus far the only male character in the series who’s actually had a real fight against a female character, and not pulled any punches. yeah boy!! he’s a feminist! so I would kind of love to see this even though Horikoshi probably won’t. boo.

and last but not least, (3) THE MIND GAMES. omg. who wouldn’t love to see Toga transform herself into Deku or Kirishima or BEST JEANIST NOOOO or Camie or whoever else you can think of that might fuck with Bakugou’s head. yesssss. god I love Toga so much.

anyways!

Hagakure the U.A. traitor - 7/10

see above re: mind games. you’ll notice that the top tier of this list consists solely of villains who (with the exception of Tomura) all have the whole Now It’s Personal thing going for them. this is especially important because there is no clear-cut candidate to be Bakugou’s antagonist yet. so if he’s going to get one, they’re gonna have to get cracking on that bad blood between them so he can get his vengeance on. anyways the traitor will probably wind up being someone else’s main villain in the end, but they still get a high score because they would do an excellent job if they did end up being Bakugou’s villain.

Hawks - 7.5/10

on the one hand, not an actual villain. but on the other hand, YOU KILLED MY MASTER angst for daaaaaaaays omg. holy shit. Hawks what kind of hole have you dug yourself into?? you probably think you’re so slick you can just fly out of any and all metaphorical holes. BUT NOT IF THE HOLES BLOW YOU UP, HAWKS. anyways yeah. I don’t think Hawks will be a final villain, but as things currently stand there is a very high likelihood of there being at least some temporary antagonism between them, and my verdict is: bring it.

Shigaraki Tomura - 8/10*

the * is there because this score is contingent on Deku and Bakugou facing off against Tomura together. as it is, Tomura’s been built up to be Deku’s antagonist, so he’s not going to go after Bakugou instead unless Gang Green is also there. even though Tomura did engineer Bakugou’s kidnapping and all but single-handedly launched his character development into orbit, so there is history there! but yeah, I just can’t see it happening unless they double team him. that being said, the odds of that are actually pretty good IMO, hence the high score.

All For One - 8.5/10*

same deal as Tomura! but he gets a higher score on account of him actually being the final villain. so if you, like me, believe that the series is building up to Deku and Bakugou working together to become The Greatest Heroes as a team, then you have to assume that this battle is inevitable. unless you’re all-in on Tomura being the final villain instead, in which case see the previous entry.

confession time: I’ve had this plot bunny?/headcanon?/?? thing in my head for the longest time in which the League launches a huge attack on U.A. near the end of the series, and either AFO or Tomura goes after All Might and almost finishes him off, but then Bakugou steps in before they can finish the job, and proceeds to take them on solo. and he puts up an insanely good fight, but loses in the end (because he’s still just a kid! HIS TRAINING IS NOT COMPLETE) and nearly dies and/or has his quirk stolen, but then Deku and/or the others show up, and the villains leave (for some reason. shh). it’s my self-indulgent hurt/comfort as-a-result-of-being-a-self-sacrificing-badass fantasy. anyways then he probably passes out in All Might’s arms or something because I love me some Dad Might angst also. the thing is, if Bakugou ever finds out about Nighteye’s prophecy, there’s a good chance he’ll react even worse than Deku, because it already almost came true, and it would have been his fault. All Might actually went into the Kamino battle thinking that was the end for him, even. willingly ready to give up his own life to save this kid. can you imagine if Kacchan ever learns that. anyways so yeah the idea of him taking a potentially fatal blow for All Might in order to stop the prophecy coming true is something that’s stuck with me for a while now. and it has just about nothing to do with Final Villains, but I just thought I’d throw that out there because that’s one way to establish some Now It’s Personal hella beef between two characters for sure. having one of them nearly kill the other while targeting his mentor lol. anyways I went off on a real tangent, my bad.

 so now, drum roll please! last but not least, we have...

 Ujiko - 9/10

you guys. like 3/4 of the way through this post I suddenly went “!!!!” and remembered, OH YEAH, WHAT ABOUT THAT GUY WHO FUCKING TORTURED AND KILLED BAKUGOU’S CHILDHOOD FRIEND, THOUGH. holy shit. I forgot all about him. and also, what the hell, what is this thing all of a sudden where people whom Bakugou is secretly fond of keep getting secretly murdered by villains and he doesn’t know about it omg. like, why is that an actual trend. between all that and the prophecy, it’s like Horikoshi is actually just hoarding this huge pile of Things That Bakugou Doesn’t Know About Yet That Will Absolutely Fuck Up His Day When He Finds Out. like, I picture him stacking up a bunch of heavy boxes just behind a doorway and then waiting for Bakugou to step into the room so he can push the boxes over and they all fall on him and probably kill him fuuuuuuck.

anyways, but yeah. Ujiko, though. I really do think he’s got the best chance of becoming the main villain for Bakugou now that I think about it. all of the criteria are there.

(1) Satisfying Cannon Fodder - you get a Noumu! EVERY! BODY! GETS! NOUMUUUUUUUS fff but yeah. if you want bad guys for Bakugou to fight that he can blow up without feeling guilty, Ujiko’s your guy. -- though on the other hand, maybe he will feel guilty if and when he learns what the Noumus actually are. oh my god. which brings me to point two!

(2) ANGST FOR DAYYYYYYYS - hey guys, so everyone knows about this fun little thing, right?

okay so the short version is this: in a volume 7 omake, Horikoshi strongly implied that the winged Noumu who kidnapped Deku and was subsequently killed by Stain during the Hero Killer arc is -- or was -- Katsuki and Deku’s childhood friend Tsubasa. so right away, that’s fucked up. and it gets worse! because Horikoshi went on to include yet another hint tucked away in a corner of the first databook, confirming that Tsubasa was actually the grandson of that doctor in chapter one who diagnosed Deku as quirkless. the same doctor who is 99.9% confirmed to actually be AFO’s personal physician and the architect of the Noumus.

so yeah. this man took his own grandson and turned him into a lab experiment who was later murdered by another villain. and oh yes, that murder just so happened to caught on tape and subsequently went viral. holy shit.

I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for this shoe to finally drop, guys, and I’ll continue to be patient. but holy shit, though. anyways, so yeah. if/when Kacchan and Deku learn about this, I can’t even imagine how they’ll react. but it’s safe to say that Ujiko has the Now It’s Personal factor more than covered. if Katsuki is going to go on a roaring rampage of revenge toward anyone, it’s this motherfucker right here.

and last but not least, (3) Ujiko is kind of at this perfect tier of almost-but-not-quite final villain level. like, he’s the guy behind the scenes. not on the same level as AFO, but there have definitely been hints that he’s pulling Tomura’s strings more than Tomura realizes. he seems to be AFO’s right hand man, honestly. so yeah, huge plot importance here, and definitely worthy of being a foil to the series’s deuteragonist. I can definitely see it happening.

so that’s it! I’m sure I’ve missed some people, but I think I got the big ones. anyways, this has been your friendly reminder that the Noumu are going to fuck everyone’s shit up, and there are tidal waves of angst on the horizon that we honestly might not survive. good thing we have a budding hero to root for who always wins no matter what. godspeed, kid.

[sailor-cresselia]

Author Interview

Got tagged by @iris-14cheonsa​ and @narashikari​ last week, around when I mentioned I’m in a bit of a slump. So, thanks, ladies!

Name: Sammi, Sam, or sometimes Cressy. 

Fandoms: My writing is pretty much all Kamen Rider at the moment, but I want to get back to my Sailor Moon roots some time soon. I’ve never really written for Pokémon, but I’ve been a loyal fan since... oh. Uh. I feel old saying this, compared to a lot of the writers I talk to on here, but since 1999. So... uh. Yeah.

Where You Post: AO3 and FF.net. Some of my one-shots have gone up on here, too, as well as assorted sections that are probably going to get re-worked when I finally get to Zi-O in the ReUnited storyline. (Some of the one-shots have since been added to or turned into parts of stories - the first chapter of Try and Re-Build was originally a one-shot on here.)

Most Popular One-Shot: At the moment, ignoring my earlier dabbling in Miraculous Ladybug, as measured by hit count, it’s A Name You Can Call Your Own, a Kamen Rider Double fic. As measured by Kudos, however, it’s Event Flag XX, a Kamen Rider Ex-Aid fic. They each come in second to the other in the respective measurements, too, so that makes it pretty much a tie.

Interestingly, they’re both set over the course of the focus characters lives before and during their respective shows. Huh.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Try and Re-Build, no doubt. I mean, I’ve only really got the two, and Re-Build has a 4 chapter and three month lead on runner-up Press Start To Continue, so the chapter count probably boosts the hits by a lot.

Favorite Story that you wrote: oooooh, this is a hard one. Right now, I want to say Press Start. It’s a toss-up between that, Event Flag, and Re-Build, though, depending on my mood. Nowadays, I feel like the pacing of sentences was... somehow ‘off’ in Event Flag, but I still like what I did with it.

Story you were nervous to post: YES. All of them. I am always terrified of what the reaction is going to be. I’ve gotten used to the apparent fact that people seem to like my work, but I genuinely think some of the stories I have coming up are even more nerve-wracking in terms of potential reactions, once I move out of the characters I’ve ‘visibly’ been working with into ones I’ve been writing ‘on the back burner.’

How you choose your titles: Bold of you to assume I have any idea where I come up with these things. Like, four out of the seven fics currently in ReUnited are just. They’re practically just pseudo-puns about the source material, with most of my Ex-Aid ones just being references to video game mechanics. Let me put it this way: The title is the last part of each chapter of Re-Build that I come up with, and is prone to delaying the chapter by a day.

Do you outline?: I mean, kind of? I don’t really outline any specific story on it’s own - which I probably should, for some of the future ones - but I have more of an approximate outline for what stories go when with regards to what I’ve got planned for the overall Re-United universe.

Outlining would make it a lot harder for me to write, actually, since so much of my recent work has been via getting a sentence or five down at a time while I’m at work. Over the course of the week, this adds up, but I don’t have a specific story I’m working on at any one time, either.

Complete: Four of the seven stories in ReUnited are complete. “But wait,” you may say, “Only two of them are labeled incomplete!” Well, that’s true, but - spoiler alert - I’m working on turning Because we are here to stay into a multi-chapter affair. That second chapter’s not nearly in the ‘ready’ state, though.

Coming Soon/Not yet started: *ugly laughter, which quickly turns into frustrated sobbing*

Let’s see. There’s the oft-mentioned Takeru Fic, which is set after Re-Build. But, that now can’t be posted until after I get that second chapter of Here to stay up. There’s the Ankh Revival Fic, because Toei still hasn’t given us our birb. I’m still not sure if I want to merge my ‘Five times Eiji met Gou in an airport, and one time OOO met Mach’ wip into that, too, but that’s definitely going up eventually someday in the future.

Then there’s all the ‘whomst the heck knows when i’ll get this up’ stuff - the ‘getting Sento and Ryuuga together’ wip, the bodyswap fic for some lighthearted fare, the ReUnited versions of Another Ending and Zi-O, the potential Foundation X scenario, assorted ‘riders on vacation’ ideas for some more lighthearted fare...

Basically, I’ve got a lot of irons in the fire, and they’re all just begging for my attention at once, to say nothing of the other assorted ideas that just show up sometimes.

Do you accept prompts: No, oh dear Cosmos, no. I can’t afford to. I’ve got so much going on already, I can’t afford to adopt any more plot bunnies.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: Honestly, I’m having a ball writing all of these. The thing I’m most excited for is to finally figure out what to title the Takeru Fic because it’s been bothering me for almost a year now.

I’m not tagging anyone, because... well, I don’t like the feeling of pressuring people into doing things. It’s why I don’t usually respond to being tagged in these type of things, too - I get too nervous.

Anyway. See ya!

[were-dragon]

I'm sorry, has anyone really expected me not to go with body swap on this prompt? That will never happen. Day 5: Role reversal. Winston and Symmetra are working on a way to teleport multiple people at once, so in case of a crisis, agents don't have to go in one by one. As usual, the crisis comes much sooner than expected - and the first practical test does not go as planned. Who is even surprised at this point? Now the team in question has to deal with the fallout and some uncomfortable revelations. ...and yes, at this point Symmetra is my main sacrificial lamb for lousy plot bunnies. Meh, someone had to be

Words: 5+k

Rating: T

Pairings: Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada, Genji Shimada & Hanzo Shimada

Tags: Bodyswap, Light Angst, shimada brothers feels, Shimada Dragons, Noodle Dragons, but a bit more ferocious, this had a potential to either be 20k of hurt/comfort or this one-shot for day 5 prompt, honestly it was a tough choice, Peapod McHanzo Week, Friendship/Love, Best Friends

“Explain.” Hanzo’s tone makes it clear enough this is the one and only chance for them, in case they missed the murderous intent on his face. It was surreal to see that expression on McCree’s face pointed towards anyone friendly and it made Winston trip over his own tongue.

“I- um, we are still in the stage of finding out all the- the details. As we told you before the mission, the device was not properly tested but we deemed it stable enough for a case of emergency.” He pushed his glasses up his nose. “Which, may I add, came to pass.”

“As you are all here and alive it was clearly a good decision,” Satya huffed, pausing in her work over Winston’s station.

McCree’s - well Hanzo’s - arm shoot up to hold off the archer. “Whoa there, pardner. They’re working on it. Let’s keep them to it, okay?”

“McCree,” Hanzo growled and began to look up just to realize he is the taller one of them now and turned his gaze down. His own face was looking at him with an infuriatingly placating smile on his lips.

“I must agree with Jesse on this,” Angela said pausing at the mechanical, and male, voice the words came out in. “I need to do tests on all of us. Really, we shouldn’t have loose time with a debriefing, this is clearly a medical emergency ergo it takes priority.” Her helmeted head turned to where her body was standing rather rigidly, arms holding as to not to touch her own body, making her look like a bad mannequin. “You should have told me, Genji.”

“I… am sorry, doctor..” Was the stilted answer in her own voice.

“Well, I’m not done with this!” A booming voice made them all flinch, including the speaker herself.

“Hana,” McCree started but the huge German knight whirled at him.

“Don’t even, Hanzo! I mean McCree! Just don’t. Look at me! I’m- old! And a guy!”

“This is most peculiar!” Agreed Reinhardt, his usually greater-than-life voice underwhelming coming from D.Va’s tiny body.

“We just want to know when do ya think we can get back into our own bodies,” McCree asked placatingly the scientist and architech respectively.

Winston scratched his head in thought but it was Satya who answered.

“There is much to be done first. We don’t even know how this came to be. We won’t try to reverse it until we know, we could do more harm than good.”

“Because you did such a great job the first time around,” Hana griped in what should probably be under her breath tone but Reinhardt’s vocal box turning into a sentence of regular loudness.

“Uncalled for,” McCree said reprovingly and to her credit, she winced.

“Yeah, sorry. This is just-“

“Uncomfortable,” Genji filled in, still too rigid to be anything but supremely uncomfortable.

“I know. But I’m inclined to agree with Angela, you should all move to med bay. I promise we will let you know the moment we have any new information.”

So they did. The deflated shuffle walk of individuals not quite sure how their bodies work and too afraid to breaks something. Or someone.

McCree sighed, his right hand still holding onto the serape just to hold Hanzo back just in case. And they thought the mission was bad. Fucking typical.

“I see,” Zenyatta said, his head looking from one to the next. “Genji?”

“Here, Master,” Genji replied, Angela’s body raising a hand, barely breaking out of its dejected posture.

“I see,” Zenyatta repeated. “Would it be okay if Genji accompanied me elsewhere, doctor Ziegler?”

“I need to check over everyone first, Zenyatta. And I have some questions for Genji I need to-” she paused, clearly not wanting to say it out loud.

“I understand but maybe I could lend you a hand in that way later?”

“It is okay, master,” Genji sighed. “I do not wish for Angela to be in undue pain because of me.”

“Pain?” Hanzo asked with urgency. “Were you injured on the mission?”

“No, brother.” Without his mask, all of his emotions were clearly written all over Angela’s face. It spoke of sadness. And guilt. “I speak of the pain of being a cyborg. I might have neglected to inform doctor Ziegler about my usual state of being. I’ve learned to ignore it.”

Hanzo looked stricken, then bowed his head, gritting his teeth. The hat was shielding him from most of the room but McCree was standing right next to him and he knew his own face, alright? He knew how he looked when he was fighting tears.

“Anija, please do not-”

“I am sorry,” Hanzo blurted before all but ran out of the infirmary.

“Aniki!”

“Hanzo! We need to check you over!” Angela called after him in Genji’s mechanical voice and McCree internally cursed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll bring him back,” he said to the room, making his way to the door. “Just, do yer thing and we’ll be back.”

He did not wait for their response and made his way where he knew Hanzo would be. His gait much smoother and faster than what he was used to, also quieter. It felt much easier to move and he silently marveled at Hanzo’s fitness. “Damn ninjas.”

He knew he would find Hanzo on the balcony under the roof where he usually tended to retreat to. There would be no fancy wall climbing in Jesse’s body and boots, though.

So when he opened the door and his gaze fell on the man leaning on the railing with a hand over his eyes he was unsurprised.

He hadn’t said anything as he neared the archer, just took in the shaking shoulders and wet sounding breaths.

It took a while before Hanzo spoke. “You should stop smoking,” was the first thing he said when Jesse was close enough.

“Yeah. Yer not the first one to tell me that.”

“And your endurance is atrocious. My sides never hurt after such a short distance.”

“Hey know, no need to be mean. We can’t all be fitness-freak ninjas.” McCree went with the banter as he closed the remaining distance, standing next to Hanzo, looking down at the monitoring station. Just to give Hanzo some semblance of privacy.

Hanzo scoffed, trying and failing to stop the wetness gather in his eyes.

After a few more moments of whipping the moisture from his face, Hanzo sighed, tone grouchy. “This body cries very easily.”

“Yeah, always did,” Jesse chuckled. “On the flip side I don’t suffer from puffy eyes much, so yer in luck there.” Out of habit, he patted his chest pocket for a cigarillo but of course, there was none. And neither was a pocket. Now that he considered it, he hadn’t really had craving for it. But he wouldn’t say no to a drink.

“Did you know?”

There was no need for clarification. “I knew back in Blackwatch, hoped it changed with time. Guess not.”

Hanzo made a self-deprecating noise and Jesse cringed a little. It was weird to hear himself do it.

“Why would he keep it a secret?”

Jesse tried not to let his face show any pity but he held little hope as Hanzo probably knew his face as good as Jesse knew his.

“Ya know why. Yer brother forgave you and wants you to do the same. He wouldn’t want to add up to the fuckton of guilt you already carry around.”

Hanzo growled. “Do you not think it deserved? He might have survived but the past eleven years of his life were filled with pain. In mind and in body.”

“Han, let it go. If not for you then for him. Genji worked so hard to move past it. Yes, he lives with physical pain but you can’t tell me he’s not happy.”

Hanzo pressed the fingers of Jesse’s flesh hand into his eyes, letting out a long breath.

“I do not think I can. Not yet anyway,” he continued before Jesse could say anything else. “But I will not bring it up with him.”

Jesse guessed that was the best deal he could break right now. He patted Hanzo’s left shoulder. The man’s face contorted.

Oh. Right. Genji wasn’t the only one with constant aches.

“I am telling doctor Ziegler about this.”

“Aw, Han. Come on.”

When they got back into the infirmary, Genji, presumably still in Angela’s body, and Zenyatta were gone. The doctor was now checking over Hana who was holding herself very still. Jesse noticed some items scattered on the ground and a tipped over chair.

“Not used to taking this much space, huh?” he asked, sidestepping Reinhard who ironically took as much space as usual despite the smaller packaging.

“It’s the worst! I keep bumping things. And people.” She leaned forward, wincing. “And my back aches. And my joints.”

“Tis the weather, little one. It can’t be helped. But you will find I’m more than fit!”

Hana’s grumbles made Jesse chuckle into his hand. Everyone turned to look at him.

“Oh my god, did you just giggle? I didn’t know Hanzo could do that!”

“Aye, it’s most unexpected.”

Next to him, Hanzo bristled. “I do not giggle .”

Hana laughed. “Maybe you don’t but he does. And right now that makes you the one giggling.”

“It wasn’t a giggle,” Jesse protested but he could already tell it wouldn’t change a thing, so he deflected. “Just focus on your achy joints, firecracker, would you?”

That was enough for Angela to get back to work, her movements little stilted and jerky.

It the end Reinhardt was fine, he was perfectly alright, with the sole exception that the body was not inhabited by him. And it went similarly when Mercy checked Hana’s body as well, passing all the response test with flying colors.

“Alright, who wishes to go next?”

Hanzo stepped forward before McCree could say a single thing. He sat on the bed formerly occupied by Reinhardt and thrust his bent left arm forward.

“Dammit, Hanzo.” McCree couldn’t help himself.

“I said I would inform the doctor and that is what I am doing.”

“Is there something wrong?” Angela crossed her arms, one hip cocked slightly to the side in posture she usually took on when someone was about to be in trouble. It looked strange on Genji, to say the least.

“McCree’s arm causes him constant discomfort. I believe it is not completely usual.”

The doctor hummed. “Can you give me a number on a scale from one to ten?”

Hanzo thought. “Solid four.”

“‘S not that bad!” Jesse protested but neither of them was listening.

“Hmm.” Angela took the arm carefully into her hands, straightening, bending, and twisting it in this or that direction. Hanzo’s face remained stoic but McCree nearly winced himself when she turned the palm away from the body. He knew what Hanzo must be feeling at that moment. The archer obediently described all sensations and Angela nodded, while still prodding at different spots.

“I believe we have the cause. The anchor for the prosthetic arm is pinching a nerve right here,” she pointed at a specific place. “I am afraid we will need to refit it.”

“Goddammit,” McCree murmured. He hated the first fitting and the second one even more. “Do we have to, Ang?”

“Yes, Jesse. If it didn’t go away on its own so far there is little hope it will at all. Either the pain will keep worsening or your arm will go numb and probably weaken considerably. Worst-case scenario, you will lose control over the prosthesis.”

Well, fuck. He sighed, making a grab for his hat, that, of course, wasn't there.

“Alright, fine. When?”

“I can have it ready in a few days, I’ll ask Torbjorn to prioritize it. You should speak to him about any changes you might want.”

“Nope. No changes. I’m used to this one, so make it as close to it as possible.”

Angella nodded, clearly not surprised by his choice. “I will tell him. We will be ready when this thing is reversed.”

“No.” Hanzo jumped in. “There is no reason to wait for us to be in our correct bodies. Tell me when it is ready and we will do it immediately.”

“What in the hells, are you crazy?!” Jesse grabbed his shoulder turning him so they could face each other. “You have no idea what yer sayin’.”

Hanzo scoffed. “Do not treat me as a child, McCree. I know how serious the procedure is but I’m sure doctor Ziegler will agree it is best to fix this situation as soon as possible. Is it not?”

Angela was looking Hanzo but with her face hidden behind the faceplate, Jesse couldn’t tell what she thought about it.

“Are you sure, agent Shimada? We will have to attach a new anchor for the prosthetic arm, I do not have to tell you the nerve re-attachment will be excruciating even with anesthetic and there will be rehabilitation necessary afterward.”

“Angela, no.”

“I understand and I am willing.”

She looked from Hanzo to Jesse, who was putting on his best begging face, and back to Hanzo before nodding. “I will inform Torbjorn there is no need to wait then.”

“I don’t get a fucking say in this? It is still my body! If anyone has to go through that shit it should be me, not Hanzo.”

“It still could be you, Jesse. We do not know how long it will take for Satya and Winston to reverse this. And agent Shimada is right, we cannot wait too long. How long has it been hurting like this, Jesse?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Eight or nine months? I don’t remember.”

“Jesse!”

“It’s not that bad! I just learned to work around it, ‘s all.”

There was a string of muttered German that he didn't really need to speak to understand.

“We are not waiting any longer.” She raised her hand to stop his protests. “You know I can overrule you on this, Jesse.”

Jesse knew. Reyes made damn sure of it. And goddammit he should have taken the time to officially quit back then. He and Genji were probably the only ones with that particular clause in their contracts.

He also knew Angela never acted on it unless it was beyond serious. He rubbed his face with both hands before letting his shoulders slump in defeat.

“Fine. Schedule it as you see fit.”

“Thank you,” she said, there was a palpable warmth in that mechanical voice.

The rest of the examination went by quickly and nearly silently. Hanzo waited for him until he was done as well before saying goodbye to Angela and leaving the infirmary.

They managed to walk for all of sixty feet before Jesse turned on Hanzo, grabbing the serape and pushing his back to the wall.

“What the fuck do you think yer doing, Shimada!” he hissed at the now taller man. Spitting those words into his own face felt cathartic in a way he did not wish to think about.

Hanzo barred his teeth at him. “I am saving your arm!”

“No, yer tryin’ to punish yourself for Genji! And I don't appreciate you using my body to do it!”

Hanzo looked floored before gathering himself again. “Is that so? And this from a man who spent nearly a year in pain and is about to lose an arm because of his own foolish pride!” He pushed Jesse away with a grunt, stabbing a finger into his chest. “Do not presume to know my reasons!”

It felt like a slap, Jesse took a step back, watching as Hanzo’s chest heaved with anger hard enough he could see it even with the chest plate. When the archer turned and stalked away, leaving him to stand in the hallway, Jesse was still replaying Hanzo’s last words in his head.

Then he let out string of curses Hanzo’s mouth probably never before formed.

The knock on the door was soft and Genji contemplated ignoring it. He felt tired. Exhausted even.

He spent several hours with Zenyatta talking and thinking and feeling. And all we wished to do now was to shut down for a while. Or sleep. As he was not a cyborg at the moment and there was no forcing it.

He turned over on the bed just to discover he had to scoot a little to even reach the edge. One of many disorienting things about being in the body of a rather lithe human woman.

“Genji.”

McCree?

Genji frowned. The voice was soft but in a completely wrong way. Then he remembered.

Rising and opening the door was almost an automatic move. Hanzo did not seek him out often and Genji cherished those few occasions he did so. He did not wish for Hanzo to feel like he wasn’t welcomed now, after learning the unfortunate detail of Genji’s continuous existence.

Needless to say, it was bizarre to have to look up at him as McCree was much taller than Angela. He got used to being the taller brother now, it was his little joy.

“Aniki. How are you?”

The flash of pain was something he was not unused to see on Jesse’s face but it has been a while since there was a reason for it to happen in front of Genji. But now the knowledge of workings of McCree’s face was his boon as Hanzo seemed to lack the poker face he had in his own body.

“I wished to ask you that.”

Genji gestured for him to step into the room and let the door close behind them. There wasn’t much in a way of seating in his room. He lacked the desire for comfort as his body’s senses were limited in that and many other ways. But they used his bed as a makeshift couch before, they could do it now as well.

“Would you like to sit?”

Hanzo nodded, making his way across the rather narrow space; he avoided the weapon rack with Genji’s swords but his foot caught at one of the feet of the bed, making him stumble and drop down hard on the mattress, making it squeak.

Genji snorted. It came out much higher than he was used to and his brother shot him a look, eyebrows arched.  

That was fair. There was more than enough ammunition for both of them here.

“I take it McCree’s body is not treating you kindly?”

Hanzo scoffed. “He’s a stubborn fool, I am unsurprised his body is as well.”

“Harsh, brother. Did something happened?” Genji asked as he dropped on the bed; it did not make a sound, not even a decent bounce. How disappointing.

Hanzo scowled. “I do not wish to discuss McCree.”

Genji stared at him contemplatively, deciding if he should let it go or push. But maybe now wasn’t the best time for that. “Alright.”

“How are you feeling? Did doctor Ziegler said everything is good with you as well? Or as good as it can be at least?”

Genji smiled at Hanzo, forgetting he had no faceplate to hide it behind. His brother blinked several times, before looking down and scoffing as his face grew a shade darker.

“I am well, Hanzo. It was a shock, I will not lie about that. But mostly I was afraid I would hurt Angela’s body by accident. Next to my cyborg body, hers is quite fragile. It will take me some time to acclimatize, as Master put it. As I did after getting my new body.”

Hanzo nodded. “Understandable. If you will accept my advice, do not try to climb any walls.”

Genji blinked. Hanzo was staring back at him. They both started to laugh at the same time.

“You did not-” Genji wheezed.

“I wish I did not. I nearly toppled over the railing.”

That set up Genji all over again. His brother, who had the uncanny ability to climb any smooth surface by the age of seven, couldn’t do it with a pair of cowboy boots on.

“I would pay money to see that.”

Hanzo chuckled. “You may try and ask Athena, maybe she will be willing to part with the security footage for a favor or two.”

“I may just do that.”

He leaned back into the wall, sighing contentedly. “This is nice.”

“Mhm.”

“I must say I’m surprised, I expected you to… react in some way to Angela’s revelation. I thought that was why you have come.”

The quick intake of breath whistled a little between Hanzo’s lips. But to Genji’s surprise, there was nothing more.

“Do you not have questions, anija?”

“None that I think I need the answers to. I believe I understand your reasons for keeping it secret and I won’t pry. If you choose to speak to me about it in the future, I will listen.”

“How unexpectedly mature of you,” Genji quipped and Hanzo’s elbow connected with his upper arm.

“Shut up.”

Genji chuckled. “So what brought on this world-shattering epiphany? Or should I ask who?”

Hanzo shot him a dark look. “I told you I do not wish to speak about him.”

“So it was him.”

“Genji…”

“I simply wish to know if I should go knock him around a bit.”

Hanzo snorted. “In that body? Also, you would only bruise my own body. Best not.”

Genji sighed dramatically, stretching his legs. It felts extremely satisfying and it made him smile again. “I guess that’s true. But I could at least bitch at him a little, doctor Ziegler has a magnificent voice when it comes to yelling.”

“Personal experience?” Hanzo smirked.

“Maybe.” Genji finally decided to give up and simply plastered himself to Hanzo’s side. It wasn’t quite right but it hardly mattered.

“What are you doing?”

McCree’s put-upon tone had nothing on Hanzo’s, Genji chuckled. “Clearly, I am snuggling the resident cowboy because you are too chickenshit to do it yourself.”

He fully expected to be punched for that one, realizing too late it wouldn’t just bounce from his metal plates. Luckily, his brother was aware enough to slow his hand down before it connected. It still stung.

“You are not funny.”

“Lies.” Genji grabbed the hand and pulled himself closer with it, now putting his head on Hanzo’s shoulder. It was supremely uncomfortable but he could hold it for a little while.

“But seriously, are you okay, aniki?”

Hanzo sighed but leaned back enough so Genji could fit under his arm instead. It was a weird position but at least it was more comfortable. “I feel strange. I forgot how it feels without them constantly poking at my mind.”

A wave of goosebumps went over Genji; yet another sensation he hadn’t felt in a decade. “I know what you mean. I do hope they will stay put without us there to draw them out. But at least the good doctor knows Ramen. And Ramen likes her, so she shouldn’t cause any problems.”

Hanzo went very still under him. “Oh. Oh no. ”

Jesse felt worse before. Really, he did. Much worse even. But that hardly helped at the moment.

He spent an hour pacing around the compound, Hanzo’s body brimming with restless energy. Nothing like the slow humming undercurrent of his own he was used to. How was the archer always looking and acting so calm and collected was beyond him. The urge to run, climb, and throw punches all at once was making him supremely agitated.

In the end, he made his way to his room, punched in the code, and headed straight for the bed and the stock of bourbon under it.

Some indeterminable span of time later and more than half a bottle in, the agitation turned into a sulk. Not much better but at least he didn’t felt like he needed to go run a marathon anymore.

Jesse was aware he fucked up.

Badly.

He shouldn’t have said those things. He and Hanzo had a rocky start, mostly on account of Jesse’s long friendship with Genji and the somewhat aloof nature of the Shimada heir. But they got over it. And as they were passing it they discovered many common interests. And even better, a similar sense of humor. After that their relationship skyrocketed and soon reached a friendship Jesse would never expect. Nowadays they barely spent any free time without each other in some way. Even if they were far, or occupied by something, they tended to send each other messages, pictures or quips at the expense of those they were physically sharing space with. And somewhere in the middle of that, they entrusted some of their secrets to each other. Shards of unsavory pasts, mistakes that haunted their steps and dreams. Regrets.

Jesse hadn’t even noticed when he started to trace the outline of the dragon tattoo on Hanzo’s arm. It was such an intricate piece of art. Hanzo once told him that unlike regular tattoos this one did not fade and it stayed as sharp as it was the first day it was put on his skin.

‘Magic.’ Hanzo grinned at him that evening, taking a sip from his gourd before letting Jesse have one as well.

Jesse was confident this blunder wasn’t about to ruin what they have, their foundations were built much more solidly for a fight like this to shake them. But that did not mean he didn't feel like shit about it. He hated fighting with Hanzo. Real fighting. Not the banter, or quips, or shots they took at each other on regular basis. That was fun, they both knew it.

“Shouldn’t have brought Genji into it. ‘M such an idiot,” he murmured into his palms as he rubbed at his face.

True .

His eyes flew wide open and he dropped his hands.

“What.”

Sssstupid, cowboy.

The bright blue glow was as familiar as it was unexpected. He could feel the tingling under his skin turning into prickling and then burning as the glow intensified and morphed from tendrils into two thin, long forms floating in the air above him.

“Howdy?”

Why are you here?

He isss not here.

Where issss he?

What did you do with massster?

To say the dragons were aggravated was a gross understatement and Jesse suddenly felt a nibble of fear.

They were hissing over each other, twisting in the air and to his horror, growing.

“I’m sorry. I know this must feel wrong to you, guys. We got switched but they are working on getting us back in order, I swear!”

We can hear you.

You have hurt him.

We ssshould eat you.

“Oh god.” Pinned in his own bed under the coiling bodies of ancient spirits he saw wreak more havoc in battle than most bombs can, Jesse felt terror like scarce ever before.

He isss not here-

We could devour you whole.

-to ssstop usss.

“B- but it’s Hanzo’s body!” A new sort of horror poured over him as the thought of Hanzo losing his body got to him. Would he survive that? Would it kill them both? What if this wasn’t permanent and when they switched back, Hanzo would have nowhere to go and just disappeared?

We can sssave the body.

We can only take your sssoul.

That was somewhat relieving. Just a little. But he was still scared shitless. He barely noticed the sound of door opening and voices shouting.

Massster!

We can feel him!

He isss here!

“Udon! Soba! Stop this immediately!”

Jesse watched the spirits float over to where Hanzo was standing in Jesse’s body, the dragons swirling around him, poking their noses with trembling whiskers into his sides, and neck, and tugging at his clothes.

Hanzo was talking in fast Japanese, his voice stern and angry sounding.

Jesse flinched as someone touched him; Angela immediately pulling back, hands up in a placating gesture.

“It is only me. Are you well, Jesse?”

Oh. right. Not Angela. Genji. He let his eyes fall shut and head drop back on the pillow.

“Not gonna lie. I’ve been better.”

“Did they hurt you?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Not really. Scared me shitless though. They are not happy with me. Not one bit.” He peered from under his lashes at Hanzo, who was now holding the dragons who solidified around him, like two glowing blue anacondas. He was looking at Jesse with a forcibly neutral expression. “Can’t say I blame them.”

Genji let out a relieved breath, turning to his brother. “Anija?”

“They are calming down now. But I do not understand what drew them out in the first place.”

Jesse blinked, then groaned. “‘S my fault I think. Was touching the tattoo. Thinking about you.”

Next to him, Genji choked.

“Fer fuck’s sake not like that! Just, I don’t know, tracing it. Hadn’t even noticed at first.”

“Ah.” Was all Hanzo said.

The silence in the room was getting a bit awkward when Hanzo sighed and asked his brother: “Genji, could you give us a moment?”

“Sure, aniki!” Genji said happily, before turning to Jesse, murmuring: “Don’t fuck it up or I’ll fuck you up.” In that tone Angela only ever used on runaway patients who had the audacity to bring cigarillos and whiskey back to the med bay. He gulped.

Hanzo must have caught it because he rolled his eyes at his brother as he passed by.

Then he turned to Jesse, who was still lying on the bed. The dragons lifted their heads from Hanzo’s shoulders, watching Jesse intently.

“They won’t hurt you.”

“Mmhm.”

“They are under strict order not to.”

“As I said, I wouldn’t blame them. They got right to be pissed.” You got right to be pissed , was what Jesse meant to say. But Hanzo seemed to hear it anyway.

He let out a breath, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, careful not to actually sit on one of the coils around him.

“I-”

“I’m sorry!” Jesse blurted, suddenly afraid Hanzo would try and apologize to him instead. Hanzo huffed, a small smile curling his lips.

“I know you regret your words, Jesse. Just as I regret mine. But what I meant to say is that I’ve been thinking, and your words weren’t completely baseless. My decision was influenced by my guilt. But”- he raised a hand as Jesse opened his mouth to speak. “But it was only a small part of it. This is a serious issue and I would not have you risk your arm for my comfort.”

“Han, this is more than just about comfort. There’s a reason I haven’t said anything for so long. That surgery? I still have nightmares ‘bout the first one. Yes, they’ll give ya anesthetics but not enough, they need you to be awake and feel for their readings to be worth a damn.”

Hanzo nodded. “I am aware.”

Jesse was now focusing solely on Hanzo’s eyes.

He looked into this pair of eyes nearly every day of his life; he knew every speck of gold and green that appeared in them over the years, searching in them as often as he did for the answers he needed at times. But never once they looked like this. Like they are not his at all.

“Please, Jesse. I might be unable to keep Genji from pain but I can do it for you .”

He nodded, defeated. “If yer sure then.”

“I am. I would see you happy and healthy when we get to back to our own bodies. Our competition will be much more interesting without a handicap on your side.”

Jesse let out an indignant squawk. “Oh yer just full of yourself, ain'tcha, Shimada?”

Hanzo arched an eyebrow at him. “I believe you are the one who is full of myself at the moment.”

The groan was heartfelt, and it was only because of Hanzo was still intertwined with his dragons that Jesse didn’t chuck a pillow at him.

The archer was still chuckling at his own god-awful joke when Jesse spoke again.

“Hey, Han?”

“Yes?”

“Thank ya.”

Hanzo smiled at him. “You are welcome. But there is no need for thanks, now or later.”

“I mean, fer always having ma back.” He reached towards the archer’s hands just to stop himself a foot away. He did not fully expect the man to close the distance and intertwine their fingers. Knuckles brushing against knuckles, warm skin against his colder one. Hanzo’s fingers are always cold , Jesse thought. I guess I’ll always have to be there to warm them up.

The thought came out of nowhere, yet it felt like it was always there. Flickering in the back of his mind.

Well, damn.

“Hey Han?” he asked again. The archer humming, thumb brushing over Jesse’s index finger. “When we have our bodies back, wouldya like to grab some tea and cake with me?”

The finger stilled for a second, two, three; then it started to move again. There was a softness to his voice Jesse never heard in all his days.

“I would like that very much.”

[irondadgroupie]

Lessons in drinking

Inspired by the marvellous irondadtexts.tumblr.com ! I had not written anything in two years and then this little plot bunny comes bouncing my way. Features an exasperated but concerned Tony, uncoordinated Peter and mentor protege dynamics on the night of having your first drink.

.......

The clock struck half past midnight, not that Tony Stark noticed it, he was too engrossed in the latest modification of the Iron Man suit. He tried to develop the air filtration system to better combat against potential biohazards. Call him paranoid but he’d rather be safe than sorry.

His phone chimed and he glanced at it: Whatsapp message from Peter. Yes, it was not unusual, they had not the time to meet every day, with their hectic schedules but they still stayed in touch, talking about this and that.

What was not usual was getting a message from Peter and that made him take another look and open the message. The boy could be injured outside of the suit, having nightmares or anxiety attacks or-

Peter: heeeeey mr t

Tony’s brows rose up.

Tony: Mr T?

He had a pretty good idea what was going on but for the sake of the kid, he was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt

Peter: Mr s

Peter: S tark

Tony was giving this kid one more chance (he was going soft): Everything okay bud?

Peter: I havn t

Peter: veeen drinking

He was going to kill this kid! Kill and set the corpse on fire. But not before kicking his sorry ass to the next year!

He hit the dial button and luckily Peter answered.

“Okay so you’re drunk?”

Peter made a sound. Music blasted in the background and he could hear teens making noise, over what he did not want to know

“You’re drunk right?” He tried again.

“No.”

Smart kid, the man shook his head. One word sentences. But Tony had been the posterchild of troubled teenager and he knew every trick in the book.

“No! No! Would never get shrunk, I’m too young-“

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked out of the office and headed to his garage.

“Yeah, you’re damn right you’re too young to drink!”

Tony made a mental checklist and took in a deep breath: no use in yelling, Peter wouldn’t be remembering it, if his slurring was any indication of his cognitive state.

“Where are you? Why the hell have you been drinking?”

Being calm did not negate the use of curse words.

“Haven’t been drinking,” The kid valiantly tried to defend himself and Tony grit his teeth.

“Peter, I’m trying to stay calm until tomorrow when you’re sober and I can rip you a new one. But you’re making it difficult by lying to me.”

Peter whimpered pitifully: “Sorry Mr T?”

That name, Tony feels like screaming.

“I’m at a paartey.”

The boy let’s out a ‘whoo’, obviously because the song changes to a more uptempo one.

“A party?” Tony nearly stops in shock. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to a party tonight?”

No, he was not the kid’s parent but he liked to be on the loops. Especially considering the last time Peter went out, acting like a normal teenager, someone had spiked his drink and Ned had called Tony to the rescue. He had spent the night making sure the boy didn’t choke on his own vomit. Tony had been certain that experience would deter Peter from ever touching anything stronger than root beer.

“I goyta drink for science!”

For science, some kids chanted in the background like a group of mindless followers. Peter seemed to have started a cult.

“For science?!” Tony screamed and cringes as he heard drinks sloshing, he could only hope none was offered to Peter.

“I didn’t know if I could get drunk!” The boy screamed with a laugh. “Because I’m- you know- him!”

Thank god for the sense of censorship.

“Yeah, I’m well aware of your spandex clad alter ego.”

He made it to the garage and chose the car which is both fastest and easiest to clean up. He had been meaning to change the cushioning of his Audi anyway.

“Where are you, I’m coming to get you,” he directed the call to the sound system and started the car.

“Pataaay!” Peter shouts with other kids and quiets down. Please, don’t be doing shots, Tony prayed.

“Yea, I know a party but where!” He is too agitated to even roll his eyes. “What’s the address?”

He hears a thud, no doubt the phone has dropped to the floor.

“Mr Sss- I don’t,” Peter gulps heavily as he picks the phone up. “I don’t feel great.”

Tony wants to be mad with the kid but hearing his tiny voice, he can’t help but feel sympathy.

“Yeah, alcohol does that to you. Where’s the party, Peter? Do I have to call Ned and ask him?”

Was Ned even at this party? He doubted it, last time Ned had been very responsible and sober. He couldn’t imagine him watching from the sidelines as his best friend got so hammered.

“No, it’s same place as last time,” the kid forces out pitifully and groans. Tony sets the navigator to the last location and turns right. He remembered the place; it was luckily only about ten minutes from the Tower, on the part of the city with big houses and home to various stockbrokers.

“Mr T- I- oh no no I think I’m drying.”

Hell yes you are, the man felt like retorting back. The kid should know alcohol dries up the system and he was willing to bet everything he owned that Peter had not had a glass of water the entire night.

“You feel sick? Have a headache?”

The boy does not answer, all he can hear is that blasted music. Tony feels like making an initiative to ban all stereos in the State.

“Peter? Peter you still there?”

He waits, tries to hear any kind of sound from the kid. Had he dropped his phone?

“C’mon buddy, speak to me!”

No answer. He hits the accelerator, nearly running through a red light.

“You better be where you say you are because I’m on my way.”

Then Peter answers.

“Heeey mr T.”

Oh god kid, just let it go. He knows anything having the letter S is difficult to say when drunk but this was just humiliating.

“Yeah, yeah, kid, we’ve done that. “

He stops to let a young woman pass the road although he feels like running over her.

“Where are you exactly, Peter? Where in the house?”

The boy takes a while to answer, he hears shuffling. “Front uard.”

Peter is now noticeably struggling with words. He is grounding that kid until the next decade.

“Okay, stay there, I’ll be ten minutes.”

“Do you promise?”

Tony can’t help but pity the boy. It was his first time drunk and although it has been thirty decades, he can still remember how awful he felt when he crashed down. He could only hope Peter’s morning after wouldn’t include nearly choking when vomiting up half-digested hot dogs.

“Yeah, I promise,” His voice is much softer than before. “Peter, of course I do.”

“I don’t feel good,” The boy whispers and spits on the ground.

“Just talk to me, okay? Have you thrown up?”

He doesn’t know what he wants the answer to be. If Peter has vomited, it means less alcohol in his system but it is also a sign of possible alcohol poisoning. Honestly, he doubts the kid is coherent enough not to choke if his body decides to rebel.

“I don’ remebr,” Peter sniffles. “Are you angy with me?”

“I’m more concerned than angry, Petey,” the man says, using the nickname that is reserved for when the kid is under the weather or otherwise needs comfort. Peter argues he hates it but Tony always catches a glimmer in his eyes when he is addressed with it.

Peter lets out a choked laugh.

Tony takes a hard turn and drives by rows of familiar houses. The navigator informs he is getting close.

“I’m almost there and I’m going to bring you home and look after you until you feel better, okay?”

He can almost hear the kid nod his head: “Okay.”

“And then I’ll yell at you tomorrow,” The man can’t help to retort, he is so going to get back at the kid for making him worry so much. But after he has made sure Peter has had a long sleep, gallons of water and some bacon and eggs.

“I’m sorry.”

How can the words coming out of a fifteen year olds mouth affect him so much?

“I didn think I could srnk so I drank a- a- olt. A lo-t.”

“We’re gonna talk about it tomorrow, Pete. For now just focus on taking deep breaths and staying awake, can you do that?”

The party house is in his view. It’s looks the same as last time, even the same kids are hanging around in the balcony. Nothing seems to be different, there are same lights in the trees and same songs are blasting through the neighborhood.

“Yeh. I love yo- you- Mr T.”

Tony allows the moment to happen: “I love you too, bud,” He smiles. He parks the car on the curb and steps out.

“Just stop calling me Mr T,” He slams the door shut and locks the doors. He doesn’t trust the apparent seniors who oogle his car with hungry eyes.

“Okay, sorry Mr T.”

Tony takes in a calming breath and scans the scenery, the picnic table, groups of people and the miserable figure sitting against the wall, hunched underneath a window. How come none had noticed the half-lid eyes and pale skin was out of his comprehension. Had kids been that cruel and ignorant in his youth? He can’t remember.

“Okay, I see you, you big mess,” He walks closer. “I’m here now, you’ll be okay. After not being okay for a few hours.”

He ends the call and Peter doesn’t realize for a second. Then his brown eyes look upwards and a smile lit his face.

“Hey Mr T,” Peter cries with drunken eagerness and stands up only to fall flat on his face.

“Jesus christ, Kid,” Tony can’t believe what he is seeing. His Peter, his straight A’s, genius, superhero protégé was wasted off his mind. He had witnessed the boy do incredible gymnastic moves, had observed his performance in battles and now, the kid could not even walk, let alone stand on his feet.

Peter gets up on his elbows and flashes him a smile. His hair is a mess and clothes wrinkled and he reeks of vodka but at least there is no vomit on his face, it’s at least a small consolation.

“I love you,” Peter says and laughs. Tony rolls his eyes and helps the kid stand up. He has to take most of his weight and he ponders for a second if carrying him over his shoulder would be more effective.

“You’re the- best,” The boy points at his mentor. “I like you so so much. You’re just so-“

“Yes, yes,” Tony nods his head and looks around. “Is Ned here?”

Peter follows his gaze: “No, he was supposed to come here but got cold.”

That explains a lot, the man thinks and begins to haul the kid to his car.

“Hey mr,” Peter slurs his name so horribly it is not a sound a human should make. “Do you like me? Even a teeny tiny bit?”

“Peter, I came here in the middle of the night to drag your sorry ass to bed, we’re past the point of just liking.”

The boy didn’t seems to understand.

“Too many words,” he groans and sinks to a crouch. Tony struggles but manages to get the suddenly very dizzy boy to the passenger seat. Thank God he had parked with the right side towards the house. Peter leans against the backrest and breathes heavily, seemingly out of it until Tony starts to tie him in with a seat belt.

“What- What is-“

“Easy,” Tony guides the kid’s hands away. “Leave it be,” he buckles the belt in and makes sure is secure. As precaution he takes a plastic bag from the passenger side door and opens it.

“I hope you won’t throw up but honestly, you’re starting to look a little green.”

“I’m dizzy,” Peter mutters and sinks lower on the seat. Tony guides his head between his knees and encourages him to take deep breaths. The boy is coherent enough to obey but his skin loses more color.

“Peter, if you feel sick, just let it go, you’ll feel better.”

The boy shakes his head and straightens up valiantly, Tony has to admire him.

“Let’s just go.”

The man nods and rounds the car to his seat. The engine roams and Peter grimaces at the loud noise.

“You’ll be okay,” Tony rubs the boy’s arm in support, the way he wishes his father would have done.

The journey is silent, no music, no talking, nothing to make the ride normal. Tony misses the kid’s babbling, with rock music blasting from the stereos. Now all he can do is glance at the boy every couple of seconds to make sure he is still in the land of the living.

Peter’s eyes start to fall shut as his head nods against his chest.

“Hey!” Tony snaps his fingers in front of the boy’s nose and jolts him awake. “No sleeping until we are at the Tower.”

“I feel sick.”

As he says it, vomit starts dribbling down his chin. Peter tries to hold it in but his stomach spasms are too intense.

“Just let it out, Pete.”

The boy needs no more urging. He grabs the bag and retches. Tony winces in sympathy but luckily they are just at the garage. He parks the car and turns his head to the boy who spits into the bag and groans.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you were remarkable,” The man gets up and walks over to the boy. “Remind me to tell you of the time Rhodey and I went to this charity ball. They had the Lakers girls serving tequila shots. My car back then had orange seats, not after that night.”

Peter tries to chuckle but fails as tears fall from his eyes. Tony takes the bag and drops it into the garbage can. They make their way silently to the living quarters and there Tony faces a shock. He had hoped the kid would tire himself out but instead, throwing up seemed to have spiked up his energy.

“I love this place!” Peter runs to the windows and Tony has rush after him to ensure he does not open the balcony door.

“Now, let’s get you something to eat,” he takes a hold of the kid’s arm and drags him towards the kitchen.

“Nooo, it’s so pretty!”

“Yes, yes, sky is pretty.”

Peter steps into his way and locks eyes with him.

“You know what?”

“What?” He humors the kid. Peter is silent for a moment but then snorts.

“I forgot!” He bends over in laughter. The voice echoes in the hall and Tony shushes him.

“Oh!” Peter is in an ADHD episode, like a kid who had too much sugar. He runs to the bar and grabs a bottle. “I want this!”

“No!” Tony tried to be nice but this is where he draws the line. He snatches the bottle from him and places it on a higher shelf.

“Tooonyy!” The boy whines. “It’s good!”

“You are already in the verge of getting your stomach pumped.”

“Why? I feel great!”

“Peter, what comes up must come down.”

“I already threw up, I must have more,” Peter takes a whiskey bottle but before he take a swing, Tony forces it out of his grips, slams it to the table and turns his furious eyes to the boy.

“I’m not having you die under my watch!”

The boy’s eyes glaze over: “Would I fit there?”

The kid was lucky he loved him, there were very few for whom he would stay this patient.

“C’mon,” Tony guided the boy to the kitchen and sat him on the floor, he didn’t trust him with a stool, he would only crack his skull open.

“First lesson in drinking, Peter,” He took a pizza box from the fridge, his lunch, and sat down beside the boy. “Never drink on an empty stomach.”

He holds a slice of mozzarella-pepperoni pizza to the kid’s mouth. Peter is wary for a moment but then takes a small bite, so small he doesn’t need to chew on it to swallow.

“Nope,” Tony shakes his head. “Chew properly or it will be hell to bring it back up. “

Peter shivers and a tear slides down his face.

Tony doesn’t know what to do. Even after a year of knowing Peter, he is still very new to gestures of affection. He cares for the boy, there is no doubt about it, but the man is used to showing it through money and grand gestures and a witty comment here and there. Peter is different, from a completely different world, where people were open with their emotions because others could be counted on noticing them. Peter was a hugger, with a constant smile, and Tony wants to be able to return the gestures but he can’t.

There is a lock in his mind that he can’t bypass. Not for now at least.

The boy sniffles and takes the pizza slice.

Tony feels awful. He gets up and grabs a washcloth, he rinses it under the tab until it is warm. Peter’s eyes follow him as he gets on his knees and wipes at the tear tracts.

“You poor thing,” the man whispers and rubs the boy’s temples, trying to ease a building headache.

“Tony,” Peter says. “Do you hate me?”

What?

“No,” The man shakes his head and wipes away the tears that follow. “Why do you think that?”

“I don’t know,” Peter shrugged with half-lidded eyes. “Sometimes I get that feeling.”

“It’s just your anxiety speaking,” Tony stands up and fills a glass with water.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

Just what he needed, Tony rolled his eyes. He was well aware Peter’s self-esteem left a lot to be desired and honestly, he couldn’t understand why. He was a great kid, better than anyone.

“Sometimes it feels like the entire world is against me,” Peter cries softly.

Note to self, Peter is a weepy drunk. Never take him to a bar.

“Drink this,” He ignores the tears and holds the glass to the boy’s lips. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

Peter gulps down the drink, obviously wishing it was something else. Tony takes the glass as the boy rests his head on his mentor’s shoulder. Tony smiles softly and ruffles the boy’s hair, easing out some tangles.

“You’re such a mess,” he chuckles in pity. Peter cries and eats the pizza.

“I am a mess. I made you come and get me. I’m such an idiot.”

“Peter, I know you are drunk but I won’t have you hating yourself.”

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” tears ran down his face.

“Kid, it’s alright,” The man rests his cheek on the boy’s head. “I’m not angry at you.”

“But you should be! You should have left me there! You’re so best at everything!”

He let the kid rant, only humming along in pauses.

“Tony, I think you’re the best there is. You’re the best person, and you’re Iron Man, Iron Man is best and you’re like a-“

“Okay, it’s your bedtime!” The man stood up and tried to drag the boy up.

“Tony, no!”

“Tony, yes.” He mocked and swung the boy over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry.

“Holy shit!” Peter shrieked as they made their way out of the kitchen towards the guest room. “You’re strong! Like Iron Man!”

“Yes, Peter, it’s kind of the point,” Tony adjusted his hold as the boy tried to jump off. Yes, he worked out but carrying Peter is no effort, the boy was like a small bird.

He kicked the door open and dropped the boy on the bed. His body bounced on the mattress and Tony moved over to unlace his shoes.

“Do you want to change clothes?” Tony asked as he took off Peter’s socks and stuffed them inside the sneakers for safekeeping.

“Tony,” Peter smiled as the man took off his belt, ”have I ever told you you’re the best?”

“Only like a minute ago,” the man muttered as he rummaged the closet for a pair of comfortable sweatpants and an overlarge Black Sabbath t-shirt that originally belonged to him. “C’mon,” he tapped the covers, “Sit up.”

Changing pants was no problem but shirt was a task, Peter seemed to have lost all sense of coordination. He got tangled in the sleeves.

“Okay, first head,” Tony rolled up the t-shirt and helped it on. “Right arm, no, your right.”

Peter slumped against the man’s chest and closed his eyes. His breathing was beginning to even out.

“It was fun,” the boy slurred. Tony gently laid him down and turned onto his side.

“Let’s get you comfortable,” he moved the boy’s right hand under his face. “I want to ensure there is no hindrance to your breathing. “

He pulled Peter’s left arm back to balance him. Covers slid over the boy’s body. The man took extra care that the pillow was supporting Peter’s head.

“There’s a trashcan right next to you if you get sick again. I’ll stay with you tonight so say if you need anything. Is your head okay?”

“Yeah,” the boy sighs. “The world is spinning.”

Tony brought his hand to the boy’s head and started caressing his hair. “Yeah, that’s no wonder. Is it bad?”

“Not really. Not like a concussion.”

“Alright, you’ll live.”

The man laid down behind the boy, his hand continuing the motion. Peter started breathing deeply in and out. Tony could still smell alcohol in the kid’s hair and it brought flashbacks to his own darker episodes.

It was just a one-time thing, he tries to reassure himself. Many teenagers drank and peer pressure can lead to unsafe behavior. This was not a sign of any deeper problem. Peter had issues, sure, but he was not suicidal. He made a mistake, had a few too many. It was just dumb luck that spider genes did not single out the effects of alcohol. In another reality, drinking this much might not have had ill consequences.

“Kid.”

Peter keeps sleeping.

“You would tell me if there was something wrong, right?”

Peter makes a sound in his sleep.

“You would say if you were depressed? If your thoughts suddenly got dark and life lost meaning? You would call me to help out? You wouldn’t make any drastic decisions?”

Maybe Peter needed therapy. He had obvious abandonment issues, Tony had read last month’s Psychology journal. Also the guilt complex was something they needed to work on. Before he met Peter, he had no idea word “sorry” could be used in so many contexts.

His thoughts were interrupted as Peter turned on his back and groaned.

“No, no,” Tony sat up. “On your side-“

His words were cut short as Peter gagged. In a second, Tony had him on his stomach, with head resting over the trash can.

“It’s okay,” he whispered as the boy coughed and emptied his stomach. Tony rubbed his back in circles while he held his forehead with his other hand. Peter whimpered as another gag hit him and Tony made sure he did not fall of the bed. Stench was overwhelming, Jesus what had the kid drank? Vodka was obvious, tequila, beer and yep, there was a piece of the pizza.

“Help,” Peter tried to keep his stomach in check but it was no use, he was puking again. Tony patted his back, making sure the kid did not choke.

“I’m helping, I won’t leave. You’re safe here.”

Almost as suddenly as they had started, gags stopped and Peter fell limp. The man rolled him back to the bed and set to emptying the bucket and rinsing it before the stench made them both sick. He returned the container to the same spot and sat on the bed. With gentle hands, Tony gathered the boy into his arms and set his neck to rest on the crook of his arm. Peter was spent and hovered on the border of unconsciousness. A glass of fruit juice sat on the night stand and he brought it to the boy’s lips.

“Peter, you have to drink,” the man ordered as the boy fought back. “You are getting dehydrated. Next step is the IV.”

Threat of needles always worked. The boy took a cautious sip and when his stomach stayed calm, Tony poured more into his mouth. Maybe he imagined it but Peter’s skin seemed to gain more color as sugar and vitamins were reintroduced to his system.

“Yes, the second lesson in drinking: water only worsens the hangover, I prefer sparkling water or juice and sodas.”

There were a couple of more lessons but they could wait until Peter was 21.

[uwulix]

Inheritance | CH 1

↬pairing: reader x woojin

↬word count: 2.2k

↬author’s note: so uhh i tried writing something and honestly i don’t know why i just. wanted to dsjjasja i mean this is just the beginning i actually have the whole plot in my head i just wanted to try it out and see if you like it and i might continue writing?? jsjasj let me know what you think!! also it’s half past eleven so i’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes and i’m not feeling that well also constructive criticism is always appreciated

the last few days you spent hunched over your desk, looking at the bright screen of a laptop, not eating anything and trying to find a way to sell your parents’ house. You graduated college, but you didn’t find a job and you were in need of money. Your parents were wealthy people, but sadly, they died. All the money was given to your older sister, and you didn’t inherit much. Even though that the house was incredibly big, your sister didn’t want to live in it and so you two decided to sell it someone and split the money; a bigger amount going to you. And so, for the last few weeks you’ve stayed up countless nights, trying to find a person interested in buying the house.

You heard a loud ring coming from the other side of the room. Trying to open the heavily closed eyelids, you saw rays of the sun peek from the window, lighting up your bedroom and lightly falling onto the white, cotton sheets of your bed. There were birds, happily chirping outside, gathered together on a big willow tree. As you lazily rolled out of the soft bed, you went over to your table, hunched over, and turned off your alarm. All of a sudden, you felt something soft wrap around your bare ankles, just to see it was your cat. You started mumbling something, and the cat purred in response. Making your way over to the bathroom, you felt your stomach hurt. You needed food ASAP. As soon as you finished showering and getting yourself ready for the day, you went over to the kitchen. When you opened your fridge, you noticed it was empty. With a long sigh, you threw on a coat and started heading out to buy some food before your cat stopped you. “Aah! I forgot I had to feed you as well!” You quickly ran to the kitchen and put a big scoop of cat food in a white, ceramic bowl. Satisfied, the hungry cat purred and started eating.

You head out of your apartment and locked the door, rushing to the nearest supermarket. When you went out of the building you noticed it was starting to rain. “Well great” you thought to yourself. You didn’t have an umbrella or anything to protect you from the rain, so you just made a run and hoped for the best. You felt relieved after you saw the flickering neon light of the supermarket. You opened the heavy doors and went into the crowded store, panting and half-soaked. All of the people in there were looking at you in shock. Trying to brush it off, you grabbed a shopping basket and started roaming around the halls like nothing happened. You grabbed a few eggs, milk, an avocado and some toast. More and more wet and soaked people started coming into the supermarket, looking for a shelter from the heavy rain outside, which made the checkered tiles wet and slippery. The place was becoming more and more crowded.

When you picked up everything necessary, you stood in the queue of people waiting to pay. As you patiently waited for your turn, two kids ran past you and one of them hit you, which knocked you off-balance. You tried not to fall, but the milk fell out of the basket and spilt over the black tiles. You were absolutely embarrassed and humiliated. Trying to bend down and somehow scoop the milk in a smaller puddle than it already was, you saw two hands wiping the milk with a paper towel. As your eyes wandered around to see who it was, you saw a young man with silver blue hair and sparkling sepia eyes. You stood there, looking at the boy for a full minute, until he realized you were staring at him. When his eyes turned to you, you could feel them piercing right through you and making you shiver. “Are you going to help me or not?” he asked, with a serious voice. Flustered and embarrassed, you quickly broke off the eye contact and focused on cleaning the milk, before you realized you were still scooping the milk with your bare hands. “C-could you-“ you started to mumble before the boy cut you off “Yes, you might need something better than bare hands to clean that milk with” and handed you a paper towel. You didn’t know if he was being sarcastic or serious before you saw a big, bunny smile lingering on his face. After you cleaned up the milk, you went over to the cashier and handed him the money for the spilt drink, paid for your food and started heading out. As you started pushing the heavy door, you stopped and stood by it, to wait for the silver haired boy to thank him. You were thinking about his eyes, the way they went right through you, like a knife through your stomach.

When he paid for his food, you walked over towards him, still flustered. “I just wanted to thank you”, you quickly blurted out. “It’s nothing, I love helping people clean up spilt milk” he said in a cheerful voice, which made you laugh. “If you don’t mind me asking, what were you doing here, in the middle of a storm?” he asked, after a short moment of awkward silence. “I ran out of food and I had to make a quick run to the store, the storm started not so long after I headed out.” Now, still a bit flustered, you managed to speak properly without mumbling. “Take an umbrella next time, okay?” He smiled brightly and grinned, which made you giggle. The two of you stood there for a while, talking, before you realized you were still in cold, soaking wet clothes. “Do you need a ride home?” the boy also noticed that you were shivering, “I don’t want you to catch a cold.” Even though you politely declined and told him that you can’t get more soaked than this anyway, he insisted on driving you to your house. He seems like a nice guy, who knows.

You hopped in his car, and told him where your apartment was. You tried to take as small seat in the car as possible, not to make it wet. While he was driving, you talked about the storm outside and how you almost died trying to get to the supermarket. Talking with him relaxed you, and after some time you didn’t stutter when talking to him and let loose. When you saw the big building made out of bricks at the end of the street, you felt bad, like a knife striking right through your chest, because you know there was a big chance you’d never see him again. You hid how you felt and just continued smiling to him. “Ah, this is where my apartment is!” you quickly exclaimed, as you started picking up the shopping bag from the grey car seat. As you started opening the door, you know you at least had to ask him what his name is. Taking a deep breath, you turned to him “Oh yeah! I didn’t catch your name!” you asked, regretting instantly. The boy was caught by surprise and turned around to face you. Once again, the only thing that you could focus on were his beautiful chocolate eyes and star-like silver hair. “I’m Woojin! And you are..?” You started to stutter again, but managed to mutter your name out. “M-me? I’m Y/N!”. “Well, it was nice meeting you Y/N! I hope to see you again soon!” he said with joy in his voice. “Yeah, me too” you quietly muttered, making your way out of the car and closing the heavy door.

The car started driving off. You were still in the eye of the storm, rain falling on your shivering body, blankly watching the car drive off into the fog. You stood there for a minute, hoping to see the lights of the car again, but nothing came back. Once you assembled yourself, you quickly ran to your apartment and started unlocking the front door. You took off your shoes and put them on the doormat, not to make the carpet wet. You also took off your coat and quickly hopped to the bathroom and put the wet coat and the dirty shoes in the empty bath tub. You looked at the mirror and almost screamed at the sight of you soaked to the bones in water. With a loud sigh, you started taking off your clothes and putting them on a pile, one by one. Afterwards, you hopped in and took a long, hot shower, in need of relaxation.

Going out of the shower, you took a warm towel and wrapped yourself in it. Once you got out of the bathroom, you instantly noticed the sudden temperature change and started shivering. Quickly, you made your way to your bedroom and took some pyjamas from the big, wooden closet to change. You put on your PJs and went back to the bathroom to dry the wet, tangled hair. After some time of drying, you put all your dirty and wet clothes in the washing machine and finally felt at peace. Firstly, you looked around the small apartment to find your chubby cat. When you got into the living room, you saw the feline spread across the big, grey sofa. You just smiled and went to the pick up all the ingredients you bought at the store and made your way to the kitchen to make breakfast. Once you made the meal, you put the plate of food on the marble counter and started eating. After you finished filling your empty stomach, you cleaned up the plate and put it in the dishwasher, and lazily walked over to your bedroom. Plopping yourself on the soft chair in the room, you opened the close laptop, as its light lit up the dark room with closed curtains. You started unlocking the laptop, and started searching through your emails, in hope of finding a house buyer. Not expecting much, you quickly scrolled through your inbox, before you saw a highlighted email. To your surprise, it was a potential house buyer. Excited, you didn’t want to read the email first, but call your sister and tell her about the buyer. Quickly searching through your room to find your phone, you hopped in excitement. As soon as you found it, you dialled your sister, hands shaking. When the phone stopped ringing and your sister picked up, you told her everything, slightly screaming into the phone. She was also very hyped about the fact that there’s a big chance that you’ll be selling the house, but she told you that you need to stay professional. “Keep a straight face and try to look as professional as you can, and stay serious with the customer, otherwise there’s a big chance that they won’t buy the house, I mean, I wouldn’t want to buy a house from an unprofessional fool that doesn’t take anything serious.” You nodded at her words and told her everything is going to be okay and that you’ll sell the house without any problems. After some time you spent discussing some things about the house with your sister, you wanted to catch up with her. Listening to her talk about her oh so amazing and beautiful life made you feel sad, and a tad jealous. She had a well-paid job she loves, a big house and a caring girlfriend, while on the other hand, all you had was a small apartment and a cat, which you loved with your whole heart. You never showed it, but you were always somewhat jealous of her, even since you were kids. When you finished talking, you threw the phone on the white, soft mattress of your bed and threw yourself on the chair at your desk. Once you opened your laptop and the screen lit up, you went to check the email from the person interested in buying the house. You opened it and started reading. You started reading the email and so far you were pleased with the letter. They seem like they have good manners. The only wish you had is that a good person buys the house and you felt like the person emailing you was nice. You finished reading the email and your heart was beating like a drum, you were excited and you’ve never been happier in your life. They also offered a good amount of money and you were happy that now, you could get a decent job and live a decent life and not live off ramen noodles and microwave dishes. Then, at the end of the email, you saw a name written which made your eyes wide. It couldn’t be him, could it? You squinted once again, to check if you were, by any chance, not seeing properly, and read small letters in the corner, Kim Woojin.

[dontcallmecarrie]

You guys know the drill. Some spoilers for Chapter 20 in TWiFFON, [plus some themes that get touched on in the next arc,] because of obvious reasons. 

The what-if I’m playing with this round, under the cut because it grew on me and now wants to be its own spinoff oneshot of TWiFFON:

What if Ultron had managed to kidnap Tony?

I wasn’t very subtle about Ultron’s obsession with stealing Tony away, and it’s pretty obvious what would’ve happened if he hadn’t been stopped. Vision got to him before he got a chance to do so, but if he hadn’t been assimilated, Ultron would had most definitely stolen Tony away. 

As for exactly what happens...It depends a bit, actually. In Chapter 20, Vision was lucky; Ultron hadn’t expected him to be that strong, and managed to win the fight. 

But maybe, in another universe, Ultron won, because Vision powerful but young, whereas Ultron knows his limits, and has been sitting for years with little more to do than wait and plan. 

If Vision had lost the battle, Ultron would’ve possessed the Mind Stone, and been amused by Vision enough to transfer him to the now-mostly-defunct Legionnaire while keeping the shiny new vibranium body for himself. 

...or perhaps he does something else, but there’s only so many what-ifs I’m willing to keep track of during a shatterpoint, so just roll with him ditching Vision, all right? 

And, with it, Ultron would have been unstoppable. 

Tony, of course, would’ve known right away that something was wrong, but he’s busy fighting a huge horde of Chitauri on his own lonesome, cut off from everyone else, and would not have been able to take Ultron on as well. The Iron Legion’s good, but their numbers are being decimated because Ultron’s got his main objective [the Mind Stone back] and he wants to take Tony with him when he goes to report to Thanos, so subtlety isn’t a concern anymore. 

The Avengers realize they’ve been played, pretty damn fast. 

Because it’s pretty hard not to notice, when the Chitauri aren't working as a distraction anymore, just focused on overwhelming Iron Man, and Tony’s very clearly trying not to lose it over the comms and the portal’s acting up but they don’t have Loki’s Scepter, don’t know how to influence it. 

The battle’s almost entirely shifted to the air so the team can only watch while Tony Stark’s finally overwhelmed by the entirety of the Chitauri army, and swept away into the portal, and it closing almost immediately after. 

Now, since I’m fighting off plot bunnies already, I won’t go into what would’ve happened if Ultron had left the portal open, because that’s pretty self-explanatory and any alternatives would require their own post for me to go into specifics.

Tony’s very obviously freaking out, and this is literally his worst nightmare, cut off from JARVIS, and the rest and he’s seeing the alien army he’s been trying to get the Earth ready for and...welp. 

That he’s being dragged and ‘presented’ to Thanos, is only the goddamn cherry on top.

He doesn’t know what happened to Vision, but Ultron’s wearing his body and that’s not exactly helping either. The only silver lining to being around Ultron is his tendency to monologue, and that’s how Tony gets an idea of what’s going on. 

Thanos is looking at him like he’s an insect, and oh, that’s where Loki got some of his crazy from, makes sense. [He’s so, so screwed, isn't he?]

...oh, wait, they want to recruit Tony? And have him make them an army, because they’re curious as to what he’s capable of? This, he can work with.

...it’s been a few years since the debut of Iron Man, and Tony never really advertised what went down in Afghanistan. Plus, these aliens have different priorities, and really it’s not their fault they’re making the same mistake the Ten Rings did. 

Except for the way it really, really is. 

Add in Tony’s resistance to the Mind Stone [Loki tried it on him in the Avengers and failed, remember? Plus with humanity’s surprise tolerance for items of infinite cosmic power that I mentioned in another post] and you get Tony with highly advanced alien tech, being forced to supply an army for the enemy. 

Because that’s ended so well for his captors before, right?

Meanwhile, back on Earth...

...hmm. I can’t decide. Because the Avengers are reeling, are going ‘oh shit’ and ‘looks like Tony wasn’t as crazy as we thought, oops’, while JARVIS...

Umm. Well, obviously he’s not going to take it well. 

And I can’t honestly say how that’ll go down. Because JARVIS, at this point, is traumatized and has been hyperfixating on Tony’s safety to cope. His morality’s never been much to write home about and Tony was what was keeping him reigned in. He has a robot army at hand, doesn’t believe in overkill, and his morality chain’s gone, there’s no way this can go wrong, right?

He was already borderline Skynet in some ways, but seeing Tony get kidnapped [and hearing him, and feeling the connection become static]...well. I’ll leave that up to your imagination.

It depends, really.

If he goes the subtle route:

 JARVIS would regroup the Iron Legion, collect Vision and any alien artifacts, and book it home. He wouldn’t care about what happens to the Avengers, except to run a subroutine to monitor them [because he’d deemed them a potential threat before but now Tony got captured on their watch—] and mobilizing as many researchers to get on the case as he possibly can. Dr. Foster’s data gets copied to his private servers, SWORD and R&D are on it, and it still doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

Vision gives him the data, and got moved to an Iron Man suit [because the body he’s in was mostly running on willpower], while they’re working on making him a newer and better body. [And if the Iron Legion’s also growing exponentially...well, that’s no one’s business, now, is it?]

Rhodey immediately gets brought in, and is kept in the loop the entire time. 

This isn’t his normal field of study, and the only words he recognizes are the ones that also pertained to aviation engineering, but he does his best to not get lost.

He’s seething, and only part of it’s guilt [he’d been less than 500 meters away, again, just like last time—], and JARVIS clued him in as to how the team had treated Tony [he’d punched Thor while still in the suit, when they’d first met. Thor had let him, and didn’t lift a hand to fight back]. 

But things are going slower now, because Resident Genius 1′s the guy who got kidnapped, while Genius 2′s MIA [...or not? Maybe he sticks around? Hmm...] and Dr. Foster and Selvig’re doing quite a bit of heavy lifting. Not to say SWORD and SI aren’t, but their specialties are in ways to make things explode better other fields, so progress isn’t what it used to be.

The Avengers, meanwhile...well, they get shafted, simply put. Tony was the one doing all the work, and now that he’s gone and SI’s devoted its spare resources to finding him, they’re facing the scrutiny of the world and don't have any good answers to their tough questions.

 Turns out losing billionaire philanthropists was a bigger deal than they’d thought, and now that Tony’s gone it’s Steve that’s getting called by the World Security Council, except this time it’s about reconstruction efforts in Johannesburg and questioning his recruitment choices and what was being done to secure the planet and he doesn’t know what to say. 

...that might’ve been a bit harsh, actually.

 I’d like to think that Tony’s loss would’ve been the wake-up call the Avengers never had, the likes of Phil Coulson’s death in the first Avengers movie, because I’m a sucker for good team dynamics and even if it won't go this way in TWiFFON, if I can fix it even a little, I will. 

Just...umm. 

Please ignore Wanda’s absence, or pretend that the Chitauri took out both twins instead of just Pietro in this one, because of reasons.

Thor’s taking it the hardest, and Vision’s mention of Thanos [one of the things he’d managed to get from Ultron’s mind during the fight] makes his blood run cold as he remember’s Loki’s Scepter [and the gleam of madness in his eyes], the similarities between him and Tony, and goes back to Asgard as soon as possible because—no, please no. Hopefully Heimdall had something, please, don’t let this happen again—

Steve’s the team leader, and he’s taking it pretty damn hard, too. He’s looking back, and remembering what happened last time, and wants to punch himself in the face. How had he not seen this? Why hadn’t he— just— how could he have been so stupid? [And what could they do now?] 

His nightmares had featured Bucky falling for years now. Seeing Tony getting swept up and up and up is not much better. 

Natasha’s calling in as many favors as she can, and between her and Maria Hill, a good chunk of SHIELD’s scientists are also working on it. Relations between SWORD and SHIELD improve, because they’re collaborating more, and working towards the same goal. 

Clint’s retirement either gets moved up from ‘after this mission’ to ‘right fucking now, go to ground and lay low stat’, or he stays with team, since half the roster’s MIA and the other half isn’t doing so hot. He’s also calling in every favor he’s got, and the scientists who were working on the Tesseract and weren’t in Natasha’s debt tended to owe him one. [Or two.] 

Bruce’s situation I already covered. Either MIA or hard at work.

They’re doing what they can with what they have, and maybe it’s not enough right now, but they’ll get there. 

[Aka the cast of TWiFFON assembles to rescue Tony.]

Of course, that’s assuming JARVIS has a modicum of self-restraint and subtlety, when Tony’s been kidnapped on his watch. [He doesn't believe in overkill, after all.]

If JARVIS had decided to go forego subtlety, though...

He can make Skynet look like a toddler, his morals are now officially compromised, and Tony did his level best to keep him safe.

You do the math.

He may or may not have kidnapped every scientist who hadn’t replied favorably to his request within 72 hours, is what I’m saying. 

He may or may not have stolen all data from multiple nations without making any bones about it, and scared the crap out of the planet while at it. 

Ditto as to what the Iron Legion’s up to. Or Stark Industries. 

Tony would gladly raise hell for those he cares about, and some things run in the family. 

Either way, at some point another wormhole’s made, or opens up.

Everyone’s gearing for battle and panicking and the Iron Legion’s assembled, when a single figure in slim black-and-gold armor slowly exits and the portal starts to close behind him.

“This the right place? Terra—Earth, I mean, Earth! Damn I’ve really spent too much time abroad. Hey, JARVIS, miss me—oooh boy. You’ve been busy, haven't you?”

[the-desolated-quill]

Vincent And The Doctor - Doctor Who blog (People Like This Episode?)

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Oh I hate talking about these kinds of stories! The ones that receive critical acclaim and are adored by fans because of how deep and meaningful they supposedly are, and then I have to come along and explain why those episodes are nothing but pretentious, patronising bollocks.

Okay. Two disclaimers. I’m not very fond of Doctor Who’s celebrity historical episodes because they’re usually just an excuse for the writers to wank themselves silly to a famous historical person as opposed to telling a compelling story (see The Unicorn And The Wasp and Victory of The Daleks), and I’m not a big fan of Richard Curtis. I do like Blackadder for the most part, but his other stuff I just don’t care for. (I don’t even like The Vicar of Dibley very much, which is positively sacrilegious I know). If you’re into either, fair enough. They’re just not to my taste. But the thing to bear in mind is my hatred for Vincent And The Doctor goes beyond personal taste issues. Not only do I think this episode is monumentally crap, I also found it to be extremely insulting, and I’ll explain why in a bit.

In the previous episode Rory was erased from existence, which means Amy can no longer remember him, although she still feels occasionally sad without knowing why. To cheer Amy up, the Doctor takes her to an art gallery to look at Vincent Van Gogh’s painting. This surprised me ever so slightly. I honestly didn’t think Amy would be the type to be into all this artsy fartsy stuff, but that’s only because we’re 10 episodes in and I still don’t actually know anything about her. Think about it. What have we actually learned about her? How has she grown since the first episode? First person to come up with a satisfactory answer wins a fiver. 

It’s almost as if she’s suddenly obsessed with Vincent Van Gogh not because that’s part of her character but because the plot requires her to be. Also, since Rory was erased by the light shining out of Moffat’s crack (teehee), Amy seems to have been reduced to a wide-eyed, innocent little bunny rabbit in this episode. I can’t help but feel sorry for Karen Gillan. She’s a good actor, but Moffat rarely gives her any good material to work with.

Anyway the Doctor spots some weird creature in one of the paintings and decides to travel back to 1890 to meet Vincent Van Gogh, played by Tony Curran who admittedly does a marvellous job with the material he’s been given, although the less said about his awful pantomime-esque performance when he’s required to fight the invisible monster, the better. Here’s the problem with celebrity historicals, and I mentioned this in my review of The Unicorn And The Wasp. Usually these episodes are only entertaining to those who are interested in the historical celebrity. To everyone else, it’s just monumentally dull. I’ve never been that interested in Agatha Christie, so having to listen to the Doctor constantly talk about what a great writer she is made me feel a little bit nauseous. I’ve seen Van Gogh’s paintings. They’re okay. I’m not that much of an art lover, so I can’t really comment further, but to listen to the Doctor and Amy talking, you’d think Van Gogh was the reincarnation of Christ. It all feels utterly self indulgent. Like with Agatha Christie and Winston Churchill in their respective episodes, there’s no effort to actually explore what his life was like or anything. Instead we’re given this romanticised version of him that Richard Curtis can spend 45 minutes pouring his admiration over. It’s fine if you like Van Gogh, but spare a thought for the uncultured swines like myself who have to suffer through this too.

‘Oh look! There’s all his famous paintings! And they’re still wet! Oh no! Don’t put the coffee pot down on them! You’ll leave a stain! How can you not see how utterly perfect and amazing you are Van Gogh?! OMG! Look at his bedroom! Just like the painting! (Even though the bedroom wasn’t actually in that town. Also have you noticed that they built the bedroom to look exactly like the painting to the point where the proportions look really weird when the Doctor walks around in it?). Oh did you hear that? He doesn’t like sunflowers! How hilarious! And he fancies Amy! How sweet! Go PondGogh!’ And so on for another 40 excruciating minutes.

For the record, I don’t buy Van Gogh and Amy’s feelings for each other even for a second considering that they’ve only known each other for a day. Plus the whole thing feels less romantic when you remember that Van Gogh most probably had syphilis at the time.

But wait. This is Doctor Who, isn’t it? Better shove a monster in for no reason. What do we have this week? The Krafayis. An invisible monster that only Van Gogh can see and resembles a giant, mutant CGI turkey. Not exactly one of Doctor Who’s best monsters, now is it? So how’s the Doctor planning to see it? With some tech of course. But not something sensible like a pair of goggles or something. No. Instead he uses this awkward looking harness thing with a rear view mirror attached so that the only chance you can see the Krafayis is if it’s standing right behind you. What a stupid idea!

But as I said, this is all a taste issue. If you like it, good for you. I’m glad someone does. Where I absolutely draw the line however is when Richard Curtis starts giving us his patronising views on the blind and the mentally ill.

Yes the big twist is that the Krafayis is blind, and in one fell swoop it goes from being a savage creature of hate to being a cuddly little bundle of joy in its condescending death scene. They also perpetuate the age old myth that blind people have excellent hearing (which is not true by the way. it’s a lie created by the sighted to make themselves feel better). Oh and the reason why only Van Gogh can see him? Because he’s mentally ill and therefore can see things other people can’t. 

How anyone can find this episode to be anything other than insufferable I don’t know.

There’s been a lot of debate as to what kind of mental illness Van Gogh may have had, but Curtis decides to go for bipolar with a touch of synesthesia. This is very dark and sensitive territory for Doctor Who, but with careful handling it could potentially be emotionally rewarding, spreading awareness to important issues surrounding mental health. This is not the case here. Curtis’ portrayal of mentally ill people consists of nothing but patronising and insulting cliches. He’s bipolar, which means he’s fine now even though he was sad a few minutes ago. Being mentally ill makes you a genius. Being manic makes you a loveable eccentric. Having mental health problems allows you to see the wonders of the world in a way ‘normal’ people can only dream of.

For those of you who don’t know, I suffer from manic depression. Do you see now why I might have a bit of a problem with this? Yes there’s a correlation between those with mental health problems and those who enter creative fields like art and writing, often because art and writing are an excellent way to express ourselves and to make sense of the world around us. I myself am a writer and have had a lot of time to refine my craft. Spending nearly three years stuck at home whilst recovering from alcohol addiction gives you a lot of free time to do such things. But I absolutely resent the idea that artists, writers and other creative people are good at what they do because of their mental illnesses, as though it’s some special gift bestowed upon us by the Art Gods. People who think that are either ignorant, pretentious or stupid, and I would be more than happy to give those pricks my mental illness so they can see what it’s fucking like to be me. I can assure you it isn’t pleasant.

But wait! It gets worse!

It’s tragic that Van Gogh never knew just how successful he would become, right? if only we could tell him or show him how famous and well regarded he would be. That in my opinion is all the more reason not to do it here, but Curtis just can’t help himself at this point. The Doctor and Amy take Van Gogh to the art gallery in the future, they all stand on this turntable thing as Van Gogh cries while Bill Nighy talks about how not only is Van Gogh the greatest artist who ever lived, but is also the greatest, most awesomest person ever born in the entire universe, all while some awful pop ballad plays in the background to drown us in slush.

Good God, this is fucking awful! Who the hell thought this would be a good idea?! Talk about over-egging the pudding.

And then, big shock, Van Gogh kills himself. Amy is surprised because she thought showing him the future might inspire him to keep working. Me? I’m not in the least bit surprised. He gets taken into a blue box that’s bigger on the inside than the outside and travels to the future where he sees all the success and fame he will never get to experience in his lifetime. That’s more likely to cause his suicide than prevent it, if you think about it. And I HATE the Doctor’s speech about how life is split into good things and bad things. What is he, a fucking primary school teacher now? Depression is a little bit more complicated than that. But then again this is written by the same fucking moron who believes being mentally ill makes you a badass painter, so I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked.

Richard Curtis clearly thinks he’s written a sensitive and sympathetic tribute to a renowned artist who tragically took his own life due to mental health problems. I think Curtis royally fucked up with a paper-thin story that’s both patronising and insulting. And remember I have mental health problems, so according to Richard Curtis, I’m a genius. So basically if you disagree with me... you’re wrong :)

[rachelbethhines]

The Antoine and Bunnie Retrospective - 137

“Line of Succession Part 2″ - Line of Succession II - Sonic the Hedgehog #156

I’m back! 

Been real busy as of late and things are about to get even busier for me so I might have to reschedule what days I post the reviews on. Though for now, I had a real tough time with this particular issue. I feel like I covered most of the points I wanted to talk about in the last review and I didn’t really want to repeat myself so here are the edited highlights. 

Antoine and Sally go through with the wedding ceremony while Sonic runs off to see a “mysterious” person about helping him stop it. This person chooses not to help and Sonic rushes back to find out he’s too late. 

I want you to remember this line right here viewers because I’m going to come back to it at the end. 

He crashes the reception and “Antoine” has him thrown out and we see just how whipped Sally has become. 

I’ve defended Sally’s actions or lack there of in the past mainly because of her father’s involvement. Bowing to the wishes of you’re abusive dad is one thing, blindly following the orders of a childhood friend is entirely another. Marriage or no, Sally wouldn’t just sit and do nothing while “Antoine” bossed everyone around instead. The only explanation I can come up with is that she’s regressing into depression again. Something she struggled with back when Sonic was lost in space. She’s both mentally and emotionally “shut down” so to speak.         

But what of the “mysterious stranger” Sonic spoke to? 

I’m more interested in the how more then the why honestly. Sonic has super speed, that’s how he got back in time for the reception, yet Elias makes it back in time for the reception as well despite taking the the time to have a serious talk with his wife and riding back on “horse back” (or what ever Penders calls those things). He was literally only ten minutes behind Sonic, meaning he must have changed his mind pretty damn fast.  

Though it’s interesting to hear that Elias’s motivation for taking back the throne is because he doesn’t trust Antoine. Remember no-one knows that it’s really Patch in disguise yet, and at this point Elias only knows Twan as a Freedom Fighter and Sally’s friend.So really there’s no real reason for Elias’s suspicion and even Sonic is taken aback by this assumption. But oh how Elias will reverse this opinion once he get to know the real Antoine. But that’s much later folks. 

However this exchange causes Sonic to start questioning “Antoine” and his motivations. 

 And once again Patch just proves how competent he is a villain because even with this upset in his plans he still never drops his facade. Sonic still can’t quite believe Elias’s assumptions. In fact the only time Patch screws up is when he gets too impatient. 

I’m not entirely sure what Patch’s line of thinking is suppose to be here. First, it takes more then one dose of that poison to kill a person. Second, why try to poison him in front of everyone? Why not just wait until a more opportune moment when you’re alone with him and set up an “accident”?  After all one of Patch’s greatest strengths as a character (and Antoine’s as well for that matter) is his perseverance. Both are persistent in their goals and patient enough to stick with it despite multiple set backs and failures. The difference between the two is how they apply that strength, Antoine to better himself and Patch to further his ambitions.  

Anyways this leads to Sonic figuring out who Patch really is. 

Boy that sure is a lot leaps in logic there, Sonic. Yeah, he is technically right but none of those points he made lead naturally to that conclusion. For starters Antoine is very much a competent fighter and has been for years; kicking both Scourge’s and Sonic’s asses on some occasions and fighting robots for heaven knows how long. He totally did have a killer instinct when thought you were Scourge and almost did you in. Though granted before his time on Anti-Mobius he wasn’t prone to violence but it’s not out of the realm of possibility that character development could be in play here. And last off, while the scar is the most tangible physical difference between the two it’s still not much in the way of evidence. No one on regular Mobius knew that Patch’s eye patch was fake and just because Bunnie didn’t know where he got the scar doesn’t mean he couldn’t be the real Antoine. 

This is why I claim Patch’s defeat as a plot contrivance. First there’s Elias’s unfounded suspicion being the catalyst rather then coming from someone who actually knows Antoine like Sally or Sonic. Second there’s that out of character lapse in judgment where Patch gets caught trying to kill Elias in front of everyone. And then Sonic figuring everything out in two minutes using flimsy deduction despite Patch fooling everyone one, even his own father, for over six months.     

It’s a pretty weak conclusion to a very potentially interesting long running development. However not all is wasted as Patch is a delight through out, Elias becomes the new ruler of the kingdom, a decision that would ultimately prove to be for the best, and we finally get the real Antoine back. 

Unfortunately, all of this good will I have for this story is nearly completely thrown out the window by Penders’ dumbass ideas involving romance. 

Not only is the Fiona/Sonic pairing poorly developed and badly established but it clashes narratively with the on going story. Remember just ten pages ago when Sonic was claiming how he should be with Sally? Remember how preventing her from marrying someone else was his enter motivation for two issues now? Remember how he kept going on and on about how Sally should have communicated with him better back in 155? Well Penders sure as fucking didn’t! 

 I mean what kind of logic involves him completely ignoring the object of his affections and forgetting his primary goal of the story, only to go out with someone else? Someone he barely fucking knows. The least he could have done was go talk to Sally. See how she was doing, maybe discuss their relationship first and the problems they’ve been having, like he’s clearly been wanting to, before going off with another girl. 

Blah! 

The second story continues Dulcy’s origin story. It’s boring and pointless. Fortunately will be moving on to some good stuff after this. See ya’ll later. 

[drink-n-watch]

  Genre : Fantasy, adventure, action, mystery, romance

Episodes: 12

Studio: Passione

  Piena is a land of uncertainty and strife. Sure it’s enjoyed a few decades of peace, prosperity even, but in a land constantly threatened by the potential return of the demon king, a devastating monster that could wipe out humanity in its wake, no one can truly be at ease. The Goddess may have defeated him years ago but she’s long gone. Luckily her strength and legacy lives on in the braves. Every generation or so, six young men and women are chosen as heroes and saints, some granted extraordinary powers, to go forth and protect the world from fiends until the demon king is defeated once again. But as time passes and the braves become weaker, will this be the to e the braves finally fail. Even self proclaimed “strongest man in the world” Adlet made it, and he’s nothing special at all….

My synopsis is both entirely accurate and fairly misleading. I did that on purpose. It’s been a very long time since a series has surprised me as much as Rokka – Braves of the Six Flowers and I want to keep that going. I’m going to try really hard not to spoil anything but I am going to mention the generally unique elements of he series. So if you want to watch it without any expectations at all, I encourage you to do so. There’s a lot of fun to be had in the discovering. Maybe you can come back to this review after. Otherwise, let’s dig in.

  This is Nachetanya (it will make sense later)

I should say that I picked up Rokka Braves of the Six Flowers entirely due to the character designs. I had seen a few images floating around, most notably the cover art and I got fascinated by them. Specifically by Nachetanya (I helpfully added that screencap for you!). That’s all I knew of the series though. In fact, I may have been way too focused on the Bunny girl (Hans and I are alike in many ways…) as I had somehow convinced myself that Adlet was a girl and spent a good five minutes trying to reconcile myself with the fact that he is supposedly “The Strongest Man in the World” (get ready to hear that a lot).

I’m happy to report those wonderful designs are in fact present throughout the series as well as lush environments and beautiful backgrounds. I’m less happy to notice that the monstrous fiends were rather dull looking and the art style was visibly inconsistent at times, even with nothing much going on, which is a real shame.

Then again, the budget may have been poured into the actual animation which is both generous and impressively smooth. There is a lot of action going on in Rokka so making sure movement is enjoyable to watch is a good investment if you ask me. Sure the Saints’ CG powers don’t always blend in perfectly but who can say magic doesn’t always look a bit uncanny? Not me, and it didn’t bother me one bit.

Rouges are overpowdered

I should also mention the score. Rokka Braves of the Six Flowers doesn’t have the type of soundtrack that you’re likely to listen to in the gym or something. It’s not full of great tunes. But once I noticed it, I realized that it actually has a pretty impressive classical cinematic type of score with grand orchestral arrangements to go along with the action. It really made everything just a bit more grand and epic!

In many ways, Rokka seemed to delight in not being what I expected it to be. For instance, right off the bat, the setting seems to resemble ancient south America both in Aztec inspired architecture and lush tropical jungles. This is really not what comes to mind when I think of high fantasy. In fact, I don’t think I can even recall another fantasy adventure in that particular setting. I loved this touch and I think they should have emphasized it way more in promotional material. Granted it’s almost entirely cosmetic as far as I can tell but it does create very unique visuals that go a long way to giving the series a distinct personality.

Second and to me more amazing is that the series pulls an entire genre bait and switch a few episodes in. It really starts out as a very traditional fantasy epic with a well-developed universe and context. Six heroes coming together to fight an immensely powerful for through with swords and magic! And then it takes a sharp left turn and becomes an Agatha Christie-style whodunit! 10 little Indians Agatha Christie, not Hercule Poirot! After getting trapped in a confined area out heroes realize that there are 7 and not 6 of them and it becomes a matter of figuring out who the imposter is before the all fall prey to foul play. I can’t express how excited I was by this. Not only is the genre subversion really well integrated into the story but the mystery and tension are so well sustained that I suspected absolutely everyone at some point. I was beginning to think that maybe I could be the 7th! For a lover of mysteries, this was nothing short of a delight!

can’t wait

Not saying the show was perfect. In fact it has one HUGE flaw in my opinion. The dialogue is really weak. This is a bizarre thing to reconcile for me. The writing as a whole wasn’t bad. The mystery plot was fantastic and although the fantasy plot was more cliche it remained engaging and we’ll established. I would have happily watched that story as well.

And the characters are actually quite good when you take a step back. All well developed, beach with unique personalities, histories, motivations and reactions. And each quite consistent with their character all of which is impressive. But because part of their characterization is made through exposition and therefore dialogue, they actually seem much more shallow than they are.

Because the dialogue is often blunt, clumsy or cheesy. I honestly found myself wondering if I wasn’t losing most of it in translation in fact and I have a feeling that this is what’s likely to discourage most viewers. That’s not to say the dialogue is insufferable but it’s not on the same level of everything else and I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered that before.

I say they should show environments more then pick zero screencaps of backgrounds…

This said, the big reveal does, in fact, explain a lot and it makes certain situations and conversations seem a lot smarter in hindsight. In case it’s not clear I loved the reveal. There’s even a final twist that had my jaw drop while simultaneously making me grin like a moron. If some of the later episodes dag a bit, Rokka Braves of the Six Flowers really sticks the landing with one of the best finales I’ve seen. In fact, that conclusion was so perfect I don’t even want another season. But I would watch it if it comes out.

Despite its flaws, Rokka Braves of the Six Flowers managed to surprise and delight me at every turn and I can’t help but recommend it, for the novelty if nothing else.

I feel like I haven’t gotten across that it’s a pretty good looking show

Favourite character: though call Hans and Nachetanya (great name by the way)

What this anime taught me: You can’t trust anyone!

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re not a princess, you’re drunk!

Suggested drink: a Mother Flower

Every time Adlet blushes – take a sip

Every time they settle on a vegetarian diner – get a snack

Every time Adlet mentions his master – Raise your glass

Every time anyone says “The Strongest Man in the World” – switch to water

Every time anyone mentions the number “six” – take a deep breath

Every time Goldov yearns – take a sip

Every time anyone calls Adlet an idiot – quietly agree

Every time the camera spins around the room – hold onto your drink

Every time Nachetanya has an exaggerated reaction – take a sip

Every time we see Hans’s eyes – take a sip and get ready

Every time there’s a twist – GASP!

run…

I’ve decided to only stick to Pinterest from now on. I hope you like these extra caps!

Rokka – Braves of The Six Flowers : well that was Unexpected! Genre : Fantasy, adventure, action, mystery, romance Episodes: 12 Studio: Passione Piena is a land of uncertainty and strife.

[thotyssey]

On Point With: Epiphany

The original queen of Brooklyn has since become a star of the international stage... but right now her star is shining over Manhattan. World traveled, live singing, wickedly funny, painfully glam and profoundly married, Epiphany (also known as “Epiphany Get Paid” thanks to an old Facebook handle) unleashes her plot of world domination unto Thotyssey.

Thotyssey: Epiphany, hello and Happy New Year! You hosted the NYE party at Metropolitan Bar last night, how did that go?

Epiphany: Hey, hi! It was a great night, so many fun people these days in Brooklyn!

Not everyone knows this, but you are technically a Brooklyn queen yourself.

I was the first drag queen to work at Metropolitan and Sugarland, and that was, like, 12 years ago. I am the “Birth Mother of Brooklyn Drag.”

You must have a very interesting and gigantic womb!

Hahaha, something like that.

I just read an older interview with you where you were discussing how you started doing drag in your native San Diego to get into bars underage. This used to be the number one reason queens became queens prior to Drag Race! Now with the newer queens, it’s largely about being inspired by Drag Race, and wanting to be on the show.

Well, now it’s a legitimate occupation. Like, kids actually say “I want to be a drag queen when I grow up.” Drag has such mainstream attention now; it’s being monetized and advertised. The commercialization of the job has so many more options than when I started. Guys now start to do drag with the sole intention of getting on the reality show.

Is that a good or bad development? 

There was no template when I started, so we all did it whatever way we saw fit to express ourselves. I don’t see much originality anymore. When I started here in NYC, in a single night night you’d see Raven O, Joey Arias, Sherry Vine, Lady Bunny, Miss Understood, Lavinia, Acid Betty, Rainblow, Formika, Dina Marie, Candis, and countless others; all with their own look and repertoire and personality. It was this crazy cacophony of sexuality and defiance to normality. The reality show has normalized drag, and thus the edges have been worn down for general public consumption.

I guess it’s good because it’s more inclusive, but bad ‘cause it’s all so similar now... with the show being the only goal.

Plus, performers are all so aware and careful now about not offending people, even though drag was kinda born out of this very fringe, always potentially offensive place. Even Bianca is getting some heat from her jokes now.

The new generation is very sensitive these days, it’s embarrassing. We had to develop a thick skin to be a drag queen. Now it’s quite literally for children.

As far as queens on TV go, you were in a pilot for a possible reality show that  would've pre-dated Drag Race, and could've (should've) been the standard for drag on TV! Queens of Drag NYC would've starred yourself, Bianca, Lady Bunny, Sherry, Peppermint, Acid Betty, Mimi Imfurst, Logan Hardcore, Dallas DuBois and Hedda Lettuce! It was more of a "day-to-day in the life of" kinda show, and it's still on YouTube as a a pilot broken up into short segments. Were there high expectations that this was gonna get picked up, or was it always a longshot?

I know that I didn’t have high hopes for it, as the production side was cheap and the advertisement and marketing was left solely to the cast members who already had all their own full-time jobs.

That sucks! I loved the pilot, though. You and Betty were the nice, normal ones!

Well, contrary to popular belief, we actually are the nice and normal ones.

I actually first encountered you when you had a show at the old Boots & Saddle... at the time I'd seen very few queens who were pretty and funny on the mic, and could also sing really well.

Yeah, I guess I am all those things. It’s a set of skills that’s taken me all over the globe. And I haven’t even been on the reality show yet.

And you were schooled in all the above before you started drag?

Those are all things that require training. I’ve always been an artist, and been in theatre my whole life. Also, painting and drawing my whole life. I was put into dance at five years-old and voice at eight. The humor came from decades of fending off assholes and sharpening my wit to disarm them (as is the same with most comedians). 

Did it ever occur to you when you started showing up in bars as a young queen that you’d soon be utilizing all these skills as a queen?

It was never my intention to become a career drag queen, but I have a honed skill set that comes in sync well with the job requirements.

Like you said, being multi-talented and multifaceted has made you a desirable performer on the international stage. Throughout the year you are mostly in Europe, usually Mykonos or Berlin. Was the culture shock of these long overseas residencies a lot to deal with at first?

Oh man, yes it’s a lot to deal with: try doing drag in Sri Lanka, New York, and the Swiss Alps all in three weeks. Different cultures have different ideas of drag -- and so it’s an evolution, really, to try and cope with everyone’s expectations, time zones, altitude, language barriers, and social specifications. It’s a culture shock, yes, but it makes me better equipped in the long run I think. I love my life, and I recognize how lucky I am to live it so deliciously.

Many people would love to do it the way you do! You also have been married for four or five years now (you did the wedding in full geish surrounded by other queens and nightlifers). Is it particularly challenging to balance that aspect of your life with traveling and performing?

Marriage is a challenge, and travelling does put strain on it. My husband misses me a lot, and I know in his perfect world he would have me stop working, and have a home together with kids. That option isn’t off of the playing table, but for now I’m trying to work as hard as I can while I still have a voice and some resemblance of youth left. I’ll stop working when he makes his first 10 million.

That’s fair! 

So okay, you're back in New York now for a bit. In fact, you and Pissi Myles will be debuting a new Wednesday night show at Industry Bar called BROADS, which will replace Sherry Vine’s show now that she’s leaving us for the West Coast. Tell us more!

Yes, Pissi and I do have a new show! We both sing and we both do comedy. The audience in NYC is not easy to impress; luckily I’ve been doing it for decades, and Pissi for quite a while now. I think we will have to pull out all the stops, honestly. Industry on Wednesdays is a good time slot; I’m super excited to work with a staff and in a place I like so much!

Anything else coming up for you here in NYC?

I have some secret projects in NYC to unveil this winter/spring, ‘cause I think it’s time for a shakeup. These bitches have had it easy for far too long in my absence. I’m back, and I’m gonna fuck shit up.

Gag!  We can’t wait! Okay, last question: if you could relive any one drag moment or performance from your career, what would it be? Fuck, that’s a tough one. I’ve worked with so many queens in so many places.

One year for Pride here in NYC, I had been working at Stonewall all day and at night, and then I had to go announce Olivia Newton-John at a circuit party. By the time I got off the ferry to Governors Island my feet were bleeding, my face was sweaty, and the wind trying to steal my hair. I decided to get wasted at the bar, and before I knew it Brandon Voss was screaming at me to get my ass onstage. He threw me the mic and I ran onto the stage the moment the music stopped. 

All of the sudden it all rushed into me: the heat of the day, the beautiful view of the city in the damp summer air, the whiskey newly coursing through my blood, the silence of 10,000 New Yorkers looking at me onstage. It was like time stopped just for that one second... like every cab hit a red light, every subway car arrived at the station, every wave on the harbor ceased to make noise, every mosquito sat quietly. Even Olivia Newton-John had held her breath for me, this sweat-drenched cross dresser. I steadied myself and announced her. When I said her name, the crowd roared in gay delight. She went onstage and sang disco, and we all danced under the moon.

That, and the time Bianca interrupted my wedding telling my husband that I was a monster and our marriage would be a nightmare.

Or the time Sherry Vine and I had a threesome with her ex-boyfriend.

Or sitting on Leonardo DiCaprio’s lap at The Box.

A storied life indeed! Thanks Epiphany... welcome back, and again Happy New Year!

Epiphany hosts “BROADS” at Industry with Pissi Myles on Wednesdays (midnight). Check Thotyssey’s calendar for other scheduled gigs, and follow Epiphany on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

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