#//but he's also so used to seeing both real and hallucinated ones at this point

[troublcmakcrs]

//i want to fill out those "understand my ship in 5 minutes" memes for other people but that like. requires me to draw tweek & craig :(

[loveinhawkins]

Every so often, Eddie will get the bus to Starcourt Mall (because what else is there to do?) and watch the world go by.

It’s not like he’s above a cliché or two—maybe he wants to indulge in being a lone figure within the crowd. Maybe he just feels like wallowing in the aimlessness of it all, damn it.

This is where Wayne would point out that Eddie is exactly the opposite of aimless, what with how he’d stormed into the trailer last month, failed test results in hand and snarled, “Next year. I’ll fuckin’ show ‘em.”

But there’s a long time between now and the new school year starting, the summer stretching out before him like taffy. He’d tried to start his reading list early again, but that’s never done him much good; this time he’d gotten through one chapter of Moby-fucking-Dick before despairing.

So. People-watching at the mall it is.

It’s surprisingly not all that terrible an activity, apart from discovering which teachers are suddenly very passionate about jazzercise—a sight Eddie could’ve blissfully lived the rest of his life without seeing.

There’s also the confirmation that the Starcourt commercial he saw was not a vivid hallucination—that Scoops Ahoy is, in fact, real.

And so are the ridiculous sailor outfits.

Well, I’ll be damned, Eddie thinks.

Robin Buckley and Steve Harrington are an incredibly unlikely duo. It’s like the universe abandoned all sense, spun a wheel and paired them up just for the fun of it.

When he joins the line for ice-cream, Eddie initially thinks he’ll find the whole thing laughable: seeing people forced to work together when usually the laws of the universe (and Hawkins High) would keep them as far apart as possible.

But then he discovers that the ice-cream parlor is packed, one hell of a bottleneck forming right up at the counter, where folks are waiting for a seemingly never-ending amount of floats to be poured.

It takes a while for Eddie to near the front of the line; enough time passes that he honestly feels kind of bad for even taking up a spot, for adding to the workload that has Robin shouting herself hoarse with every, “Next please!”

He strongly considers just leaving, but he hesitates for a moment too long, and unintentionally meets eyes with…

“Hi,” Steve says, pleasantly enough, if a little distracted as he prods at the soda machine. He smiles apologetically. “Be with you in a sec.”

Eddie almost wants to tell him you know it’s me, right? He doesn’t.

It’s not that he expects Steve to be mean, exactly; it’s just that he’s getting more than familiar with the whole post graduation routine. It’s like there’s a secret page in folks’ yearbooks, instructing them to look at anyone still attached to high school with either indifference or embarrassment—or both.

Steve must not have got the memo.

“Next!”

Robin beckons Eddie forward with a sweeping arm gesture, looks somewhere behind him and sighs in relief, puffing out her cheeks.

“Oh, thank God. You stopped the tide.”

Eddie glances over his shoulder; sure enough, he’s the last person left to order.

“Don’t think I’ve got that power, Buckley.”

Robin raises an eyebrow. “Debatable.”

Eddie almost laughs. There was a rumour in his first attempt at senior year that he could curse people: it only came about because he ominously whispered some Pig Latin he’d once overheard Robin herself use during History, and Molly Pritchard crossed herself in horror.

“I’ll have a vanilla cup.”

“Ooh,” Robin says dryly, “adventurous.”

“Nothing wrong with a classic,” Eddie says.

Robin smirks as she rings him up. They don’t know each other that well, but there’s admittedly something nice in the distant familiarity they share; at the very least, she’s not gonna add to any potential awfulness when school starts again.

While Robin hands over his change, Steve is filling up a cup—Eddie would say he’s uncharacteristically quiet, except for the fact that he doesn’t actually know what truly is characteristic of Steve Harrington.

Plus he’s stuck on the fact that he only paid for one scoop, but the amount of ice-cream Steve manages to cram in is almost double that.

And he does this ridiculous little twirly thing with the scooper before he even reaches for the tray of vanilla.

Eddie tells himself he notices just because the move is so stupid; it’s definitely not because he’s noticing Steve’s hands in general. It’s just… eyes get drawn to movement. That’s all.

“Syrup?” Steve asks, nodding his head at the dispensers.

“Sure,” Eddie says. “Strawberry.”

Steve wrinkles his nose. “Oh, don’t do that, man. Get it with butterscotch.”

Robin’s eyes rise to the heavens, as if some longstanding argument has begun once again.

“And why should I do that, Harrington?” Eddie says.

“Because,” Steve says, like he’s patiently explaining that two plus two equals four, “butterscotch is better. Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Robin parrots mockingly. She closes the register drawer and says, “I’m taking my break, Popeye. Try not to judge the customers too hard.”

Eddie’s pretty sure he hears Steve mutter under his breath as she leaves, “Seriously? You’re worse than me.”

His cup of ice-cream is under hostage, apparently. Steve still hasn’t pressed down on the damn syrup pump.

“This your usual sales technique?” Eddie says. “Browbeating the customers?”

“Only the lucky ones,” Steve returns mildly.

Eddie scoffs. “Fine. Gimme the damn butterscotch then.”

“Knew you’d come to your senses,” Steve says.

He hands the cup over without any more quips; just as he’s done with the syrup, a large family swoops in with multiple sundae orders.

Eddie eats the ice-cream while waiting for the bus back home. He grudgingly has to admit that the butterscotch isn’t bad.

But that’s not really what’s bugging him.

He has to know if it’s a fluke—if maybe, just maybe, Steve Harrington only deigned to talk to him because he was, like… delirious or something. Maybe the flood of demanding customers scrambled his brain.

Of course, when Eddie goes back to the mall, it’s purely to test his theory. Strictly observational—educational, even. Like… summer school. (Take that, O’Donnell.)

The bus drops them off a little bit before the mall actually opens, but they’re allowed inside anyway. Eddie inwardly cringes at the sight of grown adults tapping persistently on the windows of still closed stores. Jesus Christ, they’re worse than zombies.

Scoops Ahoy isn’t open yet either; Eddie’s soon witness to a very stressed looking Steve striding over to unlock the place.

He flits in and out of view for a while, taking mops round to the back, filling up the jars of toppings.

Eddie actually considers heading over to Waldenbooks to check if it’s open (it’s not like he’s coming here for one store in particular, obviously), but then he hears metal clacking against the tiles.

When he looks back at Scoops Ahoy, he spots a set of keys on the ground right at the entrance, Steve nowhere in sight.

Goddamn it. He’s gonna have to be a Good Samaritan. Ugh.

Eddie briefly looks up to the ceiling as if he can condemn the ways of the universe from here. Then he sighs, picks up the keys and steps into the store.

“Harrington, you dropped these—”

“Shit,” comes Steve’s voice from the back, followed by an almighty clatter.

Eddie hesitates before his curiosity inevitably wins out.

He goes behind the register, through the door and finds the aftermath of complete disaster: Steve standing in front of an entire vat of ice-cream that’s been dropped onto the floor. It’s splattered all up his legs, cookies and cream clinging to the hairs.

Holy shit, stop thinking about his leg hair, Eddie thinks.

Up until this point in time, he’d believed it was physically impossible to look anything other than comical in that stupid sailor outfit.

(Well. Almost.)

But right now Steve looks absolutely tragic. Like he’s a crew member on the Titanic levels of tragic, and he’s about to deliver the news that there’s simply no more lifeboats.

Steve meets Eddie’s gaze.

“That was limited edition,” he says pitifully.

They both look down at the floor.

“Well,” Eddie says. “It definitely is now. Still, uh, what’s the phrase? No use crying over spilled… ice-cream.”

“Oh, I’m not gonna cry over it,” Steve says. “I’m gonna scream.” For a moment he looks murderous. “Robin’s not coming in.”

“Is she sick?”

Steve snorts. “Sick my ass. No, she’s keeping The Hawk in business—gonna see a movie about an ice-cream parlor, something like that.”

“An ice-cream parlor,” Eddie echoes. “Um. Are you sure she didn’t just make it up?”

Steve shakes his head. “No, it’s one of those foreign—never mind.”

He cuts himself off, lifts up one foot, as if he’s become aware of his predicament all over again.

“I was fine with her ditching, she can do whatever; it’s not like we have managers checking up on us. But I forgot a huge delivery was coming, and it’s Saturday so it’s gonna be crazy, so I’m not gonna have time to put all of it in the freezer or check the stock chart, so it’s all just gonna become fucking soup, Jesus, maybe I should just throw everything on the floor and—”

“I could help,” Eddie interrupts, because apparently a little alien has burrowed into his brain and now he just says things.

Steve stares at him. “Why would you do that?”

“Yeah, uh, sorry,” Eddie says. He wishes his brain-invading alien an immediate death. “Bad idea, just—”

“No, I mean why would you do that? Dude, it’s not like I can pay you or—”

“I don’t really have plans,” Eddie says—oh great, the alien hasn’t died! “Uh, you can pay me with, like, a name tag?” What? Stop talking. “Like a souvenir?” Stop! “Oh sorry,” Steve says, as if on automatic pilot. He pulls at his shirt. “We don’t have—our names are stitched on.”

I was kidding about the name tag. Actually, maybe you should just murder me instead.

By some miracle, Eddie’s expression must somehow still look fairly normal because Steve continues, deadly serious, “Munson. Are you sure?”

This is the time to back out—

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Look, man, it’s no big deal. I can clean this up and—”

A bell starts ringing from the front, being struck over and over again in the most obnoxious way possible.

Something in Steve’s eyes flickers, a shift from panic into planning mode, and Eddie has the sudden bizarre feeling that this is what the basketball team saw whenever a crisis timeout was called.

“You sure you’re okay if I leave you back here?” Steve asks, and the gravity with which he says it threatens to send Eddie into hysterics—Christ, you’d think they were in the goddamn trenches.

“Think I’ll survive,” Eddie says. “I’m basically cleaning up, and putting everything into the freezer?”

Steve nods. “And, um, a stock check too, if that’s okay? There’s a chart pinned up, you just gotta count the flavours and put, like, tally marks next to—”

“Oh my God, not tally marks,” Eddie drawls. “The horror.”

Steve huffs. “I was just—”

The bell rings even more insistently.

“Uh, think you’re needed on the front line,” Eddie says.

He nearly chokes on his own spit when Steve turns to just march right on out there.

“Harrington, wait! Your—your legs,” he says weakly.

Steve has the audacity to look puzzled. “What about them?”

They’re very long.

Eddie gestures silently to the ice-cream on the floor, then attempts a vague hovering motion in the direction of Steve’s legs.

Steve’s eyes go wide in realisation. His cheeks turn slightly red. “Oh! Yeah, um, thanks. Um. I’ll just…”

He disappears into the world’s tiniest restroom, comes back free of cookies and cream before heading out to the front.

Well, Eddie thinks to the mop he finds, this is definitely a situation.

It’s not the worst way he’s spent a few hours, apart from having to listen to a Sailor’s Hornpipe on loop through the speakers (he briefly wonders how Robin and Steve stay sane). He cleans up, gets the rest of the delivery into the freezer, even jots down some tally marks, wonder of wonders.

Steve will occasionally slide back the shutters and pop his head in, passing over a soda.

“Employee perks,” he says, then has to hurriedly retreat to keep serving.

Eddie keeps waiting for the stiltedness to set in, but it seems Steve’s far too busy for there to be any awkwardness.

At midday the shutter slides back again and Steve says, “Hey, can you do me one last thing, and I’ll never ask you for anything ever again, I swear.”

“Harrington, you’ve technically never asked me for anything. Gimme the mission.”

Turns out the mission is just to use some employee only coupons at Burger King so Steve can take his lunch.

Eddie returns to Scoops Ahoy with two burgers to find that Steve’s strategically placed a pile of chairs and wet floor signs at the threshold to deter people from entering.

There’s also a hand-drawn sign on top of one of the chairs: Out for Lunch. Underneath, there’s a horrendously bad drawing of a ship on choppy waves.

Eddie tries very hard to not find it endearing.

He gives Steve a burger, hops onto the table in the back and starts eating his own.

A quarter of the way through, he realises that he could leave now—he’s done everything Steve’s asked, and Steve’s already said he can manage the remaining shift on his own now that the delivery’s been put away.

Huh. Well, he’s already gone to all the effort of sitting here…

Steve’s quiet for most of his lunch. Eddie doesn’t mind; he enjoys his free food, comes up with a half-baked campaign idea before discarding it, counts every tile in the room…

Looks over.

Steve’s sat with one leg hunched up to his chest, a book resting on his knee—the cover’s folded over the back as he reads, the spine broken. Eddie doesn’t know why on earth it’s attractive, but it is; he feels like some mooning middle schooler, entranced by the way their stupid crush eats spaghetti or some bullshit like that.

But then again, there’s always been an easy grace to Steve Harrington.

A beeping noise; Steve checks his wristwatch with a sigh.

“Ugh.”

He leaves the book on the table, at just the right angle for Eddie to read the title: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

“Is it good?”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I’m only a couple chapters in, so…” Steve shrugs. “Honestly, it’s the most I’ve read since starting high school.”

And Eddie gets that: the senior years he’s suffered through have left him each time with a brain like a wrung out sponge, not even having the energy for Tolkien.

God. At this rate he’s never gonna read for fun ever again.

His face must do something because Steve opens and closes his mouth a few times before saying, a little hesitant, “Hey, I’m sorry you never, uh… made it through, y’know? You—you were so close, man.” Eddie doesn’t bother wasting time on being pissed that Steve knows some of the details: ‘test results’ and ‘confidentiality’ don’t exactly go together in Hawkins High.

“Yeah, uh. Thanks. Here’s hoping third time’s the charm.”

Steve claps his shoulder. “You’ll do it, it was just tough this year. Like, I scraped through, trust me.”

Eddie snorts—he would literally kill to have a handful of Steve’s grades.

“Think my definition of ‘scraped through’ is different to yours.”

He helps Steve disassemble the mountain of chairs, and now it really is obvious that he could just leave; he only has to take a few steps, and then he’s out of there.

But he pauses.

The store is still empty.

Eddie shuffles back from the doorway. “Ice-cream for the road?”

Steve laughs. “Sure. Least I can do.”

He doesn’t ask Eddie what he wants, just serves a vanilla cup with butterscotch syrup.

Eddie suddenly feels himself fighting a smile. “Think you’ve got an agenda, man.”

“Nope. Just giving you the superior choice, Munson.”

Then Steve picks up an empty cup and pours more butterscotch into it, nothing else. He knocks it back like a shot. “Gross,” Eddie says.

Steve flashes him a syrup-streaked grin.

It’s so… juvenile.

If it wasn’t for the fact that they’re in a mall, Eddie would almost think that he’d gone back a few years, made an unexpected temporary friend that goofed off with him in the back of the class.

He finishes his ice-cream as more people flock to the counter; in what seems like no time at all, Steve’s ushering Eddie out, pulling down the security grille.

It feels a bit like a soap bubble has burst. Like the bell’s unexpectedly rung at the end of last period, in a class he was actually enjoying, against all odds.

Steve does say, quite sincerely, “Thanks, Munson. You didn’t have to… you really saved my ass.”

Eddie’s about to clumsily work his way through some reply about how it was nothing, but then they really do have to go, because some stern-faced security guard’s staring like he might vaporise them.

It’s just one day, Eddie thinks. A… what’s-it-called. An anomaly.

But he goes back to the mall the next afternoon. He doesn’t bother to make up an excuse even in his own head.

Scoops Ahoy is somehow even more packed this time—Steve’s serving up samples while Robin’s back at the register, and when she sees Eddie coming, she points at the vanilla, mouths, “The classic?”

He chuckles, nods. “How was your movie, Buckley?”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” she says serenely. “I was very sick.” She coughs delicately.

“Praying for your miraculous recovery.”

He gets vanilla with butterscotch syrup (just because Robin’s the closest to that particular dispenser, that’s all).

It’s so busy that once Robin’s finished at the register, she starts filling orders alongside Steve. When Eddie picks up his cup, they barely look at him, surrounded by other cups and plastic bowls laid out for ice-cream.

Figures. Eddie knows it’s not personal. Just. Soap bubble’s burst, and all that.

He’s almost out the store when he hears a whistle.

“Hey, Munson! Go long!”

“Fuck off, no,” Eddie says automatically, a response drilled into him from many a compulsory Phys Ed class.

But he turns, just in time to see Steve throw something at him. He catches it—it’s plastic, round—somehow manages to keep a hold of his ice-cream, too.

Steve gives a brief thumbs up, before he’s back to scooping. He still finds time to do that stupid twirl move again.

Once outside, Eddie opens up his hand. Snorts.

It’s a shitty white badge, chipped in several places. His name’s scrawled on it in red marker, a cartoony anchor in the upper right corner.

On the bus home, Eddie mulls over the thought of flicking through a couple chapters of The Hobbit, something like that. No pressure, no notes—no imagining the year ahead, a teacher looming over his shoulder. Just for fun.

There’s plenty of time.

He puts his souvenir in his pocket, takes another spoonful of ice-cream.

And he has to admit that butterscotch is pretty damn good.

[legobiwan]

So I find it a little odd that Mario shakes his brother's hand like he's trying to win political office rather than having just been rescued (again) from one of King Boo's paintings at the end of Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon.

But then I was thinking - this might be a kind of instinctual response.

From what we can gather over the three games, being stuck in a painting isn't a passive experience, but one that is disturbing, disorientating, and mostly likely tantamount to torture.

And given King Boo's abilities, who knows what kind of environment he has dropped his victims into with these settings. The landscapes, you might say. There's no definite background in any of the trapped paintings, ghost or otherwise, but it does beg the question of what can be felt, seen, heard, or otherwise perceived by someone who is trapped in a portrait. Does the hunter create the cage, enrichment area and all, or are the trappings beyond the frame (inside the frame) more akin to being trapped within one's mind and all the pitfalls that could emerge from that?

We see three iterations of Mario being freed from the painting in each game. The first being total confusion and possible injury; the second looking like some kind of hallucination, given Luigi's concerned expression; and the third being a form of decorporalization (not a real word, but whatever), as Mario seems shocked to learn he has a body again.

The first might be attributed to King Boo's insistence of straight-up physical torture combined with E. Gadd's more medieval equipment, which had likely been less-than-tested in extracting someone from a portrait. (And if the de-portraiting process was that bad, imagine what it was like for the ghosts going in. No wonder they held a grudge. I love E. Gadd, but oh boi, is he the pinnacle morally ambiguous mad scientist).

Anyway, in the third installment, Mario definitely shows signs of having been disconnected from his physical form, perhaps meaning that his time inside the portrait reduced him to a neutered, mental representation of himself, incapable of fighting back in the real world. But this being said, he seems to recognize Luigi on-site, rushing forward to give him an enthusiastic hug, which is the reaction you'd expect after being freed from a pair of diabolical ghosts, one of whom is trying to thirst-trap the other through psychological torture.

So what's the deal with Mario's reaction in Dark Moon?

My guess is that King Boo trapped Mario in a painting that was a distorted reality, or perhaps a distorted version of Mario's own insecurities. It would account for the disorientation and the fact Mario comes out of the painting gladhanding his own brother like a stranger. (Which would also account for Luigi's concerned reaction - what the hell is my brother doing?)

And you figure, Mario, at this point, is a kind of figurehead, an idol, a hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. It's become his identity, it's who he is, it's what he does and is known for. Of course, part of this role is going around and shaking hands, being present - at least physically - at press conferences and speeches and all the like. The people need a focal point, a representation of their hopes against the violent and numerous incursions upon their land they suffer from outside forces (although in complete transparency, my personal headcanon is that Bowser's kingdom used to be comprised of at least a part of the Mushroom Kingdom, and that that land and sovereignty was stolen through a series of bad treaties by his father and some of the more malicious factions of the Toad Council, thus leading to both the enmity between the kingdoms and some serious economic and trade repercussions in the Darklands, but that's a whole other post.)

Mario must be so used to blindly shaking hands and putting up that front, that character, so much so that he doesn't even think about it anymore, and it's my theory that this is the version of Mario that emerges from the portrait in Dark Moon, perhaps having been wrested from some situation where this almost desperate attempt at approval was manifesting from Mario's own subconscious.

And poor Luigi. You have to wonder if one of his latent fears is becoming another empty face in the adoring crowd surrounding his brother. The Mario that emerges is not 100% connected to the fact he is Luigi's brother, it seems, is just putting on airs and the right words and actions as he may have been trained to do by the Toad Council. (Who, incidentally, are one of my favorite scapegoats in the series). Talk about a nightmare come to life.

It fits, in a way. Mario's first abduction results in physical harm, his second in mental, his third in more of a depersonalization - perhaps a rushed spell enacted by King Boo as he was, by the time of the whole hotel debacle, was far more preoccupied with his idea of trapping Luigi than enacting harm on anyone else beyond imprisonment. Because by the time Luigi's Manion 3 rolls around, King Boo is almost deranged in his obsession with Luigi, and I wouldn't be shocked if his non-existent heart wasn't into the nastier sides of portrait capture when it came to Luigi's friends and family. But oh boi, if he had captured Luigi in one of those paintings - good night, nurse.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Do you think Rita’s assertion that albus lowkey stole someone else’s research on the 12 uses of dragons blood is true?

Thoughts on Rita Skeeter

Anon, you will probably be happier on other blogs.

To caveat, we of course don't know, Harry doesn't read that part of Rita's book nor look at her sources. And the Dumbledore Harry confronts later may very well be a hallucination, so we can't give too much credence to what he says either.

What I will say is that there are many people who at the time were desperate to defend Albus Dumbledore's legacy. We see one of them in Doge both in the article he writes and his discussion with Harry at Bill and Fleur's wedding.

Rita had to write this book knowing that everything was going to be heavily scrutinized and torn apart by those looking to defend this man. And the thing about Rita is... she writes in a sensational manner, she has little scruples when it comes to getting her evidence and what she chooses to print, but she's usually not dead wrong and her exaggerations are usually in the form of "as Harry spoke he cried great tears of sadness" and not lies about anything concrete. In fact, in those cases, she usually tells it how it is (see her article in GoF on the world cup, everything she wrote did happen, the beef Arthur has is not that it was what happened just that she wrote it wrong/shouldn't have written it at all). Later, when slandering Hermione, Rita doesn't say things that didn't happen, where she goes beyond the pale is framing it and speculating on Hermione's motivations.

My point is, it'd be Rita's style to say "I think Dumbledore did this because he is a FUCKER" but not so much "he did this fuckery all the time". She states what a person did then... draws conclusions from that which may or may not be true (or kind, or flattering, or something that should be put in print about a fourteen-year-old Muggle-born).

Rita said a lot worse about Dumbledore that was supported by mounds of evidence to the point where Doge could only splutter "well, technically that's all true, but you're making it sound much worse and everyone should suspect that there's a more benign, if kind of ridiculous, explanation". And in terms of Ariana, what actually happened was even worse than Rita learned from Bathilda.

If Rita even insinuated that Dumbledore engaged in plagiarism, without backing it up, the likes of Doge and everyone else for that matter would have ripped the book apart.

But we never see them do that, not one person, no matter how much they hate it.

She also cites a very specific incident, not every paper he's ever done in his career, which lends itself to her having checked thoroughly. And if we do believe in Dumbledore's ghost, then he admits to doing it but justifies it with "well, I made the idea better anyway".

Consider how much people engage in plagiarism in the real world, even when they're honest with most of their other work. And that's with a large culture of anti-plagiarism and copyright that the Wizarding World sort of has (in the anti-cheating sense) but also sort of doesn't.

It's not shocking to me that Dumbledore would plagiarize, and I'd be shocked, in fact, if he was the only one canonically to do so.

So, in short, yes, I believe it.

[kaisntbreathing]

𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐌 𝐗 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋

𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐘 𝐈 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄😭

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

@strangerthings36

@ozzersauce

@fictionalwhor3

@snoozewritezz

@star1yn0

↳˳⸙;; ❝ ____❦____ ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗:

As you locked eyes with the sinner that looked god-awfully like your seemingly dead lover, your heart sped up its pace as you heard it thundering in your ears.

Time seemed to slow as the sinner looked at you dead in the eyes as they had the same eyes as Adam did those golden eyes that you fell in love with so long ago.

They didn't hold the fear you were used to seeing out of the sinners that saw you they looked...happy?

"Adam?..."

You called out as your voice cracked your eyes were seemingly were playing tricks on you as you rub them trying to see if you were hallucinating or not seeing the sinner had not moved or disappeared as you looked back up at him you realized they were real.

"Y-Y/n?...."

As soon as you heard the sinner call out your name you knew that it was Adam, as you ran towards him dropping your weapon in the process as it clattered to the ground as you tightly embraced him.

"I-Its really you?... Like really you?"

"it's me Sugartits...it's really me"

"Prove it"

You wanted to believe the sinners words but you couldn't out of the small half of you still not being able to fully trust the demons no matter if you thought it was your lover or not.

"Remember when we first met? It was during my first or second week in heaven and you showed up late to the court attendance, I remember you not being able to keep your eyes off me."

It was really him truly it really was him as you let your tears flow freely from your eyes onto your cheeks soaking and staining them.

"How are you?...."

"I got reincarnated as a demon"

You then noticed that he had two pairs of curly horns that curled upwards but also to the sides of his head he had his ashy brown hair along with two upside down crosses on his arms.

"You're still beautiful to me Adam"

You cupped his face as you looked up at his eyes your six wings curling around the both of you as he now had a tail that curled around your thigh as you lean down to kiss him, pressing your lips gently against his holding him as if he was made of glass.

"Never do that to me ever again...I thought I truely lost you...."

"I know babe, I know and...I'm sorry I won't do it again, but one small issue"

You tilted your head slightly to the side as you hummed in question as he pointed to his new form as he gestured to all of him.

"I'm a demon, you're an archangel. Regardless of who I am, the higher ups won't be happy if they found out about this."

"I don't care I'll make it work, darling I'm an archangel and Michel kinda likes me and you didn't do anything wrong-"

"I don't think it works li-"

"Adam... Please-"

"No. Listen, there's clearly a reason that I'm down here, you have to-"

"Fuck you don't shush me asshole, first off I thought for the last year you were dead and so does Lute she still doesnt-"

You shut him up as you put your pointer finger over his lips as you glared down at him as you saw a Exorcist angel flying as you grabbed Adam and flew off as he squirmed for a moment before relaxing to the almost forgotten feeling as you hovered above the buildings as you looked at him as his tail wrapped around your waist as you flapped your six white wings as you glanced around not seeing anything as you flew towards a forest as you landed and rushed into the forest with him as you hide beside a rock as you placed him down.

"Stay here .... I'll be back I have to do one more thing please"

He nodded as you slowly took off into the sky again as you were still in uniform as you opened a portal back to heaven specifically into your room as you grabbed your golden glowing book as you flew back down as you saw another Angel flying near the forest curiously.

You closed the portal behind you as you landed in front of the angel, startling them as you looked down at them.

"I've already been here."

"Oh sorry Ma'am."

And you watched her leave as you made sure nobody was watching as you made your way back to Adam as you slowly made your way back to him.

With your book in your hand and that exact moment you knew you were never going to leave his side and he needed you and you needed him and that was that that's all you knew.

As you peeked around the big rock you left him behind you saw him waiting patiently as he jumped and startled surprised by your sudden appearance as you giggled.

"I'm staying with you Adam"

[instantlyhauntedstranger]

so i’ve been caught up on the mha manga for a while but i’ve finally gotten around to vigilantes and just got through the aizawa backstory. and i noticed an interesting parallel. while it doesn’t have any real significance, the identical use of language is interesting to me. so here, in vigilantes chapter 64, we see aizawa and what he believes to be shirakumo, his closest friend and workstudy partner, cheering him on against a huge villain, only to subsequently discover shirakumo’s death.

i then remembered all might’s fight against AFO in the final war arc, where (after stain is taken off the board), all might is at the end of his rope but has to keep going, and there in chapter 401, he hallucinates nana shimura and sir nighteye, two of the closest people in his life, urging him on.

both scenarios refer to this phenomenon as a “pep talk” from the character to himself, imagined to be coming from the voice of a dead loved one. both scenarios also come in the face of an AFO threat, as i remember we found out at one point that the attack aizawa faces was orchestrated by AFO and the doctor, which is how they stole shirakumo’s body to create kurogiri.

these were tiny but neat parallels to me, whether they are coincidental or not. they might or have some deeper meaning, but it was interesting to see two of our pro heroes having a similar experience in the face of great evil. i’ll have to peel back through and see if i find any other similarities.

[paintingraves]

AITA ? I (40M) bought a condo one of my friends (43F) wanted to buy with her boyfriend (36M) to get back at her for hurting my best friend's (50M) feelings.

This is a bit lengthy so bear with me.

I have a prestigious job in the medical field and I am head of department in my specialty. I met my best friend (G) years ago when he bailed me out of jail (another long story). We work in the same place, under the supervision of our boss (C) who is also a close friend of mine.

Now G and C have a bit of a history. They met in medical school, from what I know they shared a night together, but G was kicked out of uni so it never became more than that, until they found each other again years later and she offered him his current job. They are always flirting, always pushing each other's buttons, and they are clearly very attracted to one another, but a lot of things prevent them from acting on it.

First, their respective positions - she's our boss - and also the fact that my best friend is, to put it plainly, an asshole who avoids emotions and vulnerability like the plague. Given his history, it makes sense, but he's never tried to work on himself, instead preferring to hide behind drugs, booze, and, lately, prostitutes. So he wasn't exactly relationship material, but things changed last year.

First, they got closer. In a very emotional moment that I won't disclose here, G ended up at her place and they kissed. They immediately agreed to pretend like it never happened, despite the fact that they clearly both have strong feelings for each other.

Next, G's drug addiction got worse. Much, much worse, to the point where he hallucinated an entire night where he went through detox in her company, then they had sex, and she left early the next morning. Yes, I wish I was making this up. He was weird the next day, and he ended up shouting for the entire hospital to hear that they slept together. She got understandably extremely mad at him for putting her reputation at work at stake in such a humiliating way. That's when he realised how bad things had gotten. He came to me, and with my help, he went into rehab.

He spent a few months there. When he came back, he'd changed. Not radically, but he was off the drugs, he was seeing a therapist regularly, and he seemed genuinely commited to working on himself and trying to be a better man, to lead a better life. In his own words, he was "tired of being miserable." He moved in with me at the advice of his therapist, and he tried to distance himself from work for a while. He quit, he tried other activities, but eventually he came back because he loves this job.

I could see he was also still interested in C, but she was very guarded. I encouraged him to try to show that he'd changed, because he had, and I knew she also had feelings for him. But things came to a head when we went to a medical conference she also attended. The reason she was so distant with him was also because, as it turned out, she got into a new, serious relationship while he was away, with a man (L) who used to be G's friend. Obviously, it was a blow for G. And for me as well, because I didn't know about this, or I wouldn't have encouraged G to pursue it.

Anyway, life went on, and after a while C started talking to me about buying a condo and moving in with L. I was still a little put out by her behaviour towards G. She called my ex-wife, who happens to work in real estate, and found "the condo of her dreams".

So I called my ex-wife, visited the condo with G, and impulsively decided to buy it before she could.

We'll be moving in shortly with G. He seems happy, and I'm happy to be doing this for him. Hopefully he can move on, and it may teach her a lesson.

So, Reddit, AITA ?

Edit, in answer to a few comments:

- Yes, we met when he bailed me out of jail. I was going through a rough patch and ended up doing something stupid that got me arrested. He bailed me, a perfect stranger, out of jail because he said I was "the most interesting person around." We've been best friends ever since.

- The price for the condo was around 250,000$. I paid 3/4th of it using most of my savings, and I don't regret it one bit. He paid what was left, in an exceptionally generous display (for him).

- L was a private investigator G hired to spy on me (long story) at a time where I wanted to get away from him. They became sort of friends, but we hadn't heard from him in a long time before finding out he was in a relationship with C.

- C cares for him, but she is also at a spot in her life where she wants stability. She is a single mother with a daughter to care for, and she wants to be with a man whom she can rely on. What with G's history, I can't blame her for not acting on her feelings.

It doesn't mean I can't be mad at her for hurting him, though.

Edit 2:

Yes, G and I are close. He's the only person who truly gets me and doesn't put up with my bullshit. He's the worst and the best friend I've ever had.

Edit 3:

Stop asking me if I'm in love with my best friend. We're both straight, we've both been in very commited, serious relationships with women. He doesn't see me that way, no matter how many gay jokes he makes.

Edit 4:

C found out someone had bought her dream condo, and was pretty mad. I won't lie, I acted all chagrined on her behalf but I feel pretty damn good about it.

[heyclickadee]

Okay, a few thoughts on the trailer now that I’ve collected my thoughts a bit:

1. Between the shots of the crashed ship and Omega in the cockpit, it’s looking like a self-rescue on Omega’s part. At this point I’m thinking she gets herself and Crosshair out, and then, based on the shots of Cross with the batch, gets separated from him at some point. He rejoins the batch, and she is…somewhere else. Though I don’t know if that means she goes back to Tantiss.

2. It’s entirely possible that she gets got by one of the bounty Hunters in the trailer, and that’s what separates her from Crosshair.

3. I do think that it is Crosshair in the armor, but other possibilities include: one, Tech, who may not have his own armor anymore and needed to wear something protective on short notice, and; two, Hunter’s having a real bad time and is actually hallucinating Crosshair being with them. I don’t think that’s the case though—I think it really is Crosshair.

4. It’s also possible that those shots with Crosshair are from a little later on in the season.

5. Poor Omega’s going to be in Tantiss for months.

6. I swear Hunter looks like he’s lost weight. Like. I know a lot of the fandom is deep in the Crosshair and Tech are twins sauce (and honestly, I am too, I adore that head-canon and basically think if it as canon), but darn it if Hunter isn’t getting so drawn he’s starting to look a little like Crosshair.

7. I find it weirdly amusing that the half the trailer in which the bad batch actually features is mostly taken up by Hunter and Wrecker doing Adventure Man things. I get the sense they were scrounging to find shots of the batchers that weren’t massively spoilery (and they still put those shots of Crosshair in. Which, admittedly, is one of the things that makes me slightly suspicious of that being Crosshair at all, because that could be a misdirect, but only slightly).

8. I’m going to laugh if it turns out that Cid hired all of the bounty hunters we see to find Omega. Like, if that’s what she uses the money she got from Hemlock for, and she’s basically trying to get Omega out of the situation she got Omega into and goes a little overboard on the means.

9. Ventress! I’ll be honest, Ventress has never been at the top of my favorite character list, though I’ve warmed up to her quite a bit (I used to like the idea of her more than the execution), but I always love Nika Futterman’s performance, and I’m intrigued to see Ventress here at the very least. Because. How. She was very dead. Very, very dead. Not “fell into The Mists” dead—she had a funeral after being dead for months. My only thoughts are that were either seeing her in a flashback sequence that takes place before Dark Disciple, or it turns out that nightsisters can use their force magic to do some weird shit after getting hit by lightning. Either way, I don’t think she’s fighting Wrecker and Hunter here—that’s just some misleading editing.

10. Man, I hope Hemlock dies a lot.

11. Anyway, speaking of the dead and those back from it, Tech is so alive and I’m trying to not be the Smuggest of Gremlins until we for sure see him, but jeez are they making that difficult. (I checked the trailer release blurb on the Star Wars dot com page—it doesn’t mention Tech being dead. It just says the team is “scattered” after the events of season two. Like. Guys, you’re not even trying anymore.)

12. And more on Tech, I do think it’s possible—possible, mind you—that Tech is the guy we see in the clone X armor in front of what looks like the Archium. There are some small differences between that armor and both the armor we see on Clone X in season two, and the Clone X we see speaking later in the trailer—namely, the shoulder straps, what looks like a glass visor covering the two eyeholes, and *sigh* the pouches. And it’s the straps and the pouches that are giving him a bit more of a Tech-ish silhouette—especially the pouches, and especially from behind. If it is Tech, though, I don’t think it’s a brainwashed Tech at all (and honestly, it’s the pouches that make me lean towards not brainwashed if it is Tech in there, because a shin pouch is just a very Tech-and-not-blank-slate thing to wear).

I actually think it’s more likely that it’s Tech in disguise and having taken the armor from the Clone X we see later in the trailer (with some adjustments of his own), and that that’s what’s being referred to by the titles “Infiltration” and “Extraction;” Tech infiltrating imperial forces, and then the others having to get him (and probably the people of Pabu) out. And, if that’s the case, I’m banking on these shots being from the midseason. (I know I said I wasn’t going to speculate on the episode titles. That was aspirational.)

Basically, I could be persuaded that it’s Tech in there or that it’s not. I’m less likely to be persuaded that it’s a brainwashed Tech in there—I still don’t think that’s happening.

12. Whether that is Tech in that armor or not, I do think that the clone X we see speaking in the trailer isn’t the same guy in the armor in the Archium shot.

13. I am SO HAPPY to see Phee back THANK GOODNESS. I was a little worried they’d drop her like a rock, but nope! She’s here! She’s got her cool jacket! We see her ship!

14. There is a criminally small amount of Echo in the trailer, but I’m not giving up on seeing more of him. It’s possible that he’s either a walking spoiler, or that he features a little more heavily in the back half of the season.

15. “The Cavalry Has Arrived” is the most optimistic episode title in the whole damn show and, yes, I will die on this hill.

16. Crosshair. Oh, Crosshair. Someone please save him immediately.

17. There’s a lot of early doom panic around, well, everyone and everyone (especially Hunter) dying that I’m honestly going to ignore going forward. For reasons.

[vanillaanillav]

flower symbolism in alien stage

So, we have two confirmed flowers mentioned in the series—Clematis from Round 1 and Edelweiss from Round 2—and the red flowers from the Anakt Garden. I have a few options for what those could be, so I’ll go over each option at the end. 

Of course, Clematis is the most obvious flower reference. Here’s what they look like if you’re unfamiliar. It’s a beautiful flower, available in pink and purple varieties, colors which you can find in both of their color palettes. 

They represent transformation and wisdom, the pursuit of knowledge, determination and spirituality. Very compatible with the themes of the series, and specifically of Mizi and Sua’s love for each other. They deify each other and transform each other, through meeting and knowing each other. Sua’s knowledge of their world and Mizi’s lack of it is what leads to her death and to Mizi’s subsequent transformation.

Clematis grow on vines, constantly racing up towards the sun. Sua’s sacrifice, I think, is what will allow Mizi to finally reach it.

It’s really lovely and terrible. A perfect fit for them. 

Now Edelweiss! It’s a very tough plant, but also very short-lived, and nearly impossible to get your hands on, as they’re native to the lonely peaks of the Alps. 

It’s representative of devotion, nobility, and purity, which is FASCINATING to me. There are many more romantic flowers out there, even ones with meanings specifically related to unrequited love, but Edelweiss specifically so perfectly encapsulates why I think Till likes Mizi. 

He sees her as something pure, untouched by the nightmare of their lives. She’s kinder than the others. Naive, still believing in good things like homes and friends and love. 

Even when he hallucinates her, he imagines her as a child, big-eyed and smiling—her purest form. He hates their capture. Hates living, fights and fights and fights. I think he clings to her as a symbol more than a girl by the point of the Alien Stage, devoting everything to this ideal of her, continuing to sing his confession at her even while she’s crumbled into a ball of grief. That version of her may not even really be the being he’s singing to. 

He clearly has her on a pedestal in his mind. When he loses that idol, both watches his friend lose her innocence and then his symbol of purity go apeshit and beat the hell out of their competitor, he loses everything. By the time we see him in Round 6 he’s been completely broken down by the system, never fully developing the will to live for himself, only for his Edelweiss. 

As for the red flowers…

They have five petals, with a black center. Honestly, given that one of Mizi’s likes is “artificial Anakt flowers,” which are presumably these, they're probably not intended to be a specific type of real-world flower. But I’m going to play in the sand here anyway!

Poppies have four or six petals, but they do have the dark core. Red ones specifically symbolize death and remembrance, which is… obviously fitting the themes of the series. But, the red flowers are used mostly to depict their childhoods, specifically their playful childhood love rather than their deaths. I think some of the other options are more fitting.

Geraniums are commonly red and have five petals, but no dark inside. They symbolize deceit and preference, with the red variety further meaning stupidity and consolation. Yowza!!! 

Preference is clearly applicable—Mizi and Sua choose each other to give their flower crowns to, Till makes his flower crown for Mizi. It seems like a ritual among the kids that they give their flower crowns to someone they like.

Stupidity could be for Till not noticing Mizi’s clear mutual interest in someone else, or for Ivan, either not realizing that the flower crown he stepped on was Till’s or thinking it would get Till’s attention in any other way than Till jumping him LMAO.

As for deceit or consolation… I feel like these don’t quite fit? Deceit isn’t present in the scenes with the red flowers, though maybe in Sua and Ivan’s decisions to sacrifice themselves? Consolation is unfortunately not really present in the series at all. Much to all of our collective pain and suffering.

So, petunias are my favorite option for the red flowers. They’re five-petaled and have the dark center, even if they're not as similar as poppies... just hear me out!!!

They represent two conflicting ideas—anger and resentment, and “being with you is soothing.” I think this fits all three of the pairs they’re shown in relation to. Till’s anger with Ivan in their childhoods for ruining his flower crown is pretty clear, his anger with him in general, even with the world.

Then Mizi and Sua’s reciprocated love—of course, being with each other is soothing, and Till finds Mizi soothing as well, as we covered in their section. 

I love the double meaning. I think the meanings flip as they age, as well. Mizi resents Sua for leaving her, and Till only realizes once Ivan’s gone that he did, in some way, appreciate his presence. 

Anyway I just had to get this out of my system because I have so many Thoughts about this series. Also fun tidbit: Till is said to specialize in floral art. Much to think about...

[tree-obsession]

Aventurine, the Waste Land, the black hole, and luck- analysis on aventurine's possible fate

possible spoilers for 2.1 trailblaze mission

possible tws for suicide/suicidal idealization, mentions of slavery, and a massacre

ok there is. a lot to unpack for this mission but I would like to focus on the references to The Waste Land (by T.S. Elliot, fucking amazing poem btw) that were in Aventurine's parts?

First of all the achievements- the "Sibyl, what do you wish for?" and "She answers, I wish to die" or something like that. That is the very first thing in the poem we see- to put a long story short, it's a reference to how there was this oracle named Sibyl in Greek Mythology, blessed to live forever by Apollo. Apollo got angry after she refused to have sex with him and cursed her so that while she would live forever, her body would slowly waste away, eventually becoming dust kept in a jar. A couple of boys one day come up to this prison jar and ask her "Sibyl, what do you wish for?" and then she answers that she wants to die. This could be a reference to Aventurine, who is always so lucky but at that moment truly didn't wish to be lucky, and really did want to die. Yet he was stuck, unable to live- considering he is something of a "chosen" of Gaiathra Triclops, she could be the one who cursed him, in disguise of a "blessing" of good luck.

second, the maze scene. there were two references here, both from the fifth(fourth? it's been a hot minute since I read this poem, the details aren't all clear) part of the poem. it talks about a deserted waste land, where rain never falls, there is only lightning and rocks/sand. this matches up with descriptions of sigonia, as a desert planet that's referred to as "the unclaimed desolation", and also some of those lines are directly said in the white text that floated around the maze(which i'll be referring to as floating text from now on). the second reference was also in the floating text, which talks about how "there is another presence/person beside us", or something very similar. I don't have the direct quotation, but this is also a direct reference- within the poem, there are two travelers in this "waste land", and the narrator mentions feeling a presence that wasn't truly there. According to Elliot himself, his inspiration for this part of the poem was from an account of an Antarctic journey, where the person who wrote the account said he and his men were so out of it due to exhaustion they had begun to hallucinate another presence who wasn't actually there. this is probably referencing how mini-aventurine and present-aventurine both exist, and have existed, but the future-aventurine technically does not exist yet and literally is just popping up, clearly not "real" in the physical sense but definitely there. within the poem, there are a lot of speculations between scholars about why Eliiot decided to add this hallucinated dude in but one popular theory is that it's Christ, in disguise, which is really interesting considering The Family's Christian imagery. something to watch out for when Aventurine returns to the story (he def isn't dead, but as to when he's returning... :( i can't get my hopes up) or if anyone else analyzes this more deeply.

now, why the waste land? it's universally considered a pretty depressing poem, about how the world after World War I was torn apart and collapsing in on itself, and portrays a lot of characters who aren't living life to their fullest at all. it references many famous texts and literary works, pointing at literature as an amalgamation of all other literature and also acting as a metaphor for how everything builds off each other, so one thing collapsing could result in everything collapsing. there are a lot of references to different religions as well. perhaps the best way to put it is that Elliot was portraying a world under threat of total collapse, and asks the reader if there is anything humanity can do to save it, or if we must simply salvage what we can. the ending also implies peace is a far-off, perhaps unreachable thing since everything is so discordant. but you get the idea at this point- the poem is about decay and rotting over time. I don't have the greatest grasp on either this poem or aventurine's psyche, but the 2.1 quest revealed a lot- he is an incredibly lucky person who is in a lot of bad situations but gets out every time, and has never lost a bet (despite his life otherwise being absolutely terrible). the waste land itself could simply be sigonia, and then perhaps aventurine himself is a representation of the characters within the poem. practically all scholars agree that in this poem, all the female characters coalesce into one character, and the male characters do so too, and then there is one uniting character between the "male" and "female"- tiresias, who according to Elliot has "foreseen and foresuffered all". he is described as the most important figure in the poem by Elliot himself. Tiresias is an androgynous figure, but is referred to with he/his. he also is the only one to say "I" in the poem, and despite the fact he is blind he can see all, even the future- in mythology, he was a prophet like the Sibyl. "what Tiresias sees is, in fact, the substance of the poem", as Elliot says- in other words, what he sees seems to be the closest thing to the truth you will get.

now obviously that's pretty valuable, considering literally everyone is lying in penacony (in the livestream they said the entire guest list is filled with question marks in place of names, implying everyone's identities there were fake- other than Sparkle's, but she's a Masked Fool and will trick people just for the hell of it, so not exactly the best ally). however (this is where speculation starts) I think this could be possibly very subtle foreshadowing for Aven's return! and I know this may sound delusional but. it's established he's not dead. his stone is out, but that's quite possibly because he's next to a fricking black hole and also Acheron possibly had "freed" him, in some sense? that conversation he had with her obviously changed a lot of things for him as a character, and she said she could break the harmony's bonds on him... also, clearly if he wasn't dead while waking up next to a black hole, that's certainly a surefire way to tell his luck hasn't run out yet. the entire mission was spent establishing his luck is perfect, given by the goddess of his planet, and will never fail him. this is like near emanator-level shit- obviously not quite in terms of any special power, but he was specifically chosen by this goddess, was born on a special day, and due to sheer luck is the last one standing of his clan (apparently). literally everything was set up against him and he's only still alive due to a literal goddess-given power, which is absolutely nuts and almost overpowered if it weren't for the fact that he also seems to be in many scenarios where luck and gambling is the only way to get out at all. the massacre, the enslavement, killing his old master, the weird warlord thing that got brought up, penacony... his luck is purely for getting out of bad situations, it seems.

that was kind of a tangent. anyway! the whole mission was establishing how good his luck was. he got into this situation where the only solution is to walk into a black hole and see the other side of penacony- that is a classic example of "there is an extremely, extremely narrow chance of getting out alive". acheron did it, or something similar, so clearly it's possible- but luck and chance would be the only way. this is the cycle of his life- he's in an absolutely shitty situation, but he will get out due to luck. imo it's a terrible idea writing-wise to keep him explicitly alive up to the very end and going into a situation- alive- which he can survive in due to his luck, right after giving him fulfilling conversation with both acheron and his past self and seeing the uplifting note from Ratio... just to offscreen him, or kill him for some reason related to this "other side of penacony". it wouldn't line up with all that we know about him now. granted, I can't imagine it'll be pleasant and his mental state will be even worse at the end of it... but he'll be alive, and he's made it through a lot of hellish situations. he might not like his luck all the time, and it can be either a blessing or a curse given the scenario, but he's kind of stuck with it- until he withers away, just like Sibyl. Death does seem to be inevitable, but as of right now it's not knocking on his door.

tldr: for now, our boy isn't dead and his luck might be a curse to him but it's clearly going to keep him alive for quite a bit longer :)

tysm for reading and have a nice day!

[matan4il]

Man Suang review

Spoilers! (obviously. Also, this was written after watching the movie just once, to give my opinion as "raw" as possible)

This may seem like a weird spot to start, but I feel like I really can't review this movie properly, without pointing out that it's Moulin Rouge, except set in another country AND another genre. The latter gives it a very different feel (to a great degree, due to tone as well, MS is a serious movie, while MR, even while it does want you to care, doesn't take itself too seriously), but the basic structure of the two movies is too similar, so I have to start there.

In both cases, the movie revolves around (and gets its title from) an entertainment center, which is beautiful and alluring, but also serves as a stage for some of the uglier sides of human urges. This entertainment institution houses performers of low social status, who often also must prostitute themselves to the rich and powerful people who frequent the place. And while the whoring is pretty much built in, and no one bats an eye at it, this setting also allows for some murderous intents to surface. The plot is centered around an exceptionally beautiful and talented, lowborn entertainer, who must sell their body to get by, having aspirations to get a better life through this, and the seemingly simple guy, who is a part of their social circle at this entertainment place, who has his own aspirations, and is not as lowly, which is why he doesn't have to stoop as low as prostitution, and can offer something different. Despite the connection between them, they're both trapped in plots bigger than them, set into motion before they even met, and they have to struggle to find their way amidst all this intrigue, which moves them almost like they were pawns. By the end of the movie, there will be betrayal between the two, but also repentance, and an act of choosing each other over their initial ideal, allowing them to make decisions that are "righter" than they would have, had they not met, and ones that give them more freedom than had they simply served the initial goal they were supposed to. Through that, they gain more freedom and agency. Yet despite that, they don't end the movie being together.

Now, why do I bring this comparison up? Because while MR doesn't take itself seriously, like I said, it does want the viewer to care, and it achieves this by recognizing that they can make a mess of genres, of reality vs hallucination (hello Kylie Minogue as the Green Fairy), of time periods (soundtrack and props that have nothing to do with the year 1900), be as camp and over the top as they wanna be, but if the characters and love story are compelling, we'll all still be riveted.

And that's generally true for every movie. At the end of the day, whatever the genre, we watch first and foremost because someone made us care in some way about at least one of the characters or relationships featured in the film. My fave action movie ever works so well, not because its climax scene is so full of fists (in the middle of a lake at night in total darkness, with the very real threat of the good guy being drowned by the bad one), it hits home because this fight will actually be decided by whether the cold-blooded CIA handler, who had to train the good guy, has come to care enough about him, to be able to tell the two men apart even under these circumstances, and shoot the right person (meaning, the bad guy), saving the protagonist and countless others along the way. It's this test of their (BTW, fully platonic) relationship, that makes up the film's real climax.

So, probably my biggest issue with MS is that it seems to lose sight of that too often. It's so focused on telling us this political mystery, that it forgets at the end of the day, we're here for people and how they feel about and react to each other. The heart of the movie is the relationship between Khem (played by Apo), the entertainer forced to whore himself out, and Chat, the one guy who sees him dancing, but doesn't want just Khem's body. The parts that let their relationship breathe and develop are the best in the movie, they're the ones that feel the most authentic, interesting and impactful. They're the emotional anchor of the whole thing, and even though the movie too often neglects them, and doesn't give them enough time, they just work thanks to Mile and Apo's excellent acting, and their outstanding chemistry. Truly, it's once again a testament of how well these two fit as a team, that they're able to achieve so much, when they're giving too little breathing space for the relationship that is, at the end of the day, the very heart of the film.

The cinematography is great, though I'll admit that I was not that into the colors, I usually like vivid colors, but here they were oversaturated in a way that added a certain sense of heaviness and suffocation to my viewing experience. In a sense, it fits. Man Suang is both beautiful and ugly, alluring and repulsive. Still, I think it would have been a better choice to add the unnatural oversaturation as the ugliness unfolds. First let the viewers be seduced by the beautiful imagery and colors, only then hit them with the ugliness that all of the glitter hides. But then, the movie actually hits us with the ugly bits, with prostitution and murder, in the exposition already. Which makes me think the whole movie could have benefited from a more gradual unfolding of those parts of the entertainment world we're introduced to. Still, I will say that the parts where Khem and Chat get to know each other better, in the market, flying a kite in the field and chatting while climbed up on a tree, they don't have that oversaturation, they get to enjoy more natural lighting, and it gives these scenes a lighter feeling, which does fit. They do seem less burdened in those moments than throughout most of the film. And then the issue with this goes back to... there's just not enough of these scenes, to really give this contrast its own gravitas.

There are scenes which are redundant, they should have been cut out, like when we learn how Tubtim prefers being a whore at Man Suang than outside it. Not that her short monologue isn't touching, but let's be honest, she's not an actual character. She's a plot device, this short scene is only included to set up her change of heart, when she decides to tell Khem the truth, instead of lying. But since this doesn't give her enough depth or her own agency to become a character in her own right, and since she explains her decision to Khem anyway, it's just a waste of time, and it comes at the expense of developing the more emotionally crucial parts of the movie.

And it's not like the movie doesn't know where its emotional weight is. For example, the film's emotional climax, the moment where tensions run highest, is without a doubt the confrontation between Khem and Chat, when they accuse each other of choosing themselves and being willing to sacrifice the other one to do it. It's an effective moment, but I think it would have been so much more powerful, if we got to spend more time seeing Chat and Khem becoming increasingly more important to each other.

For that matter, the real resolution in the movie isn't to the supposed mystery of who has the secret documents and how to get them. It's the resolution of what to do with them, which is where Chat and Khem had clashed. Chat needs the documents destroyed so he and his family won't be punished (possibly killed) for his father's crime. Khem needs the documents delivered to the authorities so that he and his friend won't be punished (possibly killed) for a murder they were framed for. The real resolution of the story is when Khem chooses to burn the documents, so Chat and his family will be safe, and after he leaves, Chat saves them from the flames, and has them delivered, securing Khem's life and reward.

I really liked this part, and again, it felt lighter than the rest of the movie, giving a real sense of relief (visually as well, as there's less oversaturation, and both guys change into nicer outfits, with brighter patches of color). I also enjoyed the more complex POV they offer by the end. They both didn't want the life they were born into. Khem didn't like being of a low socio-economic status, being dependent on the good will of others. Chat didn't want to be a civil servant like his dad. As the movie ends, Khem chooses to stay at Man Suang, turning down the social mobility reward Chat was able to secure for him, while Chatra accepts a position serving his country. Seemingly, they both had to accept their predestined fate. But the fact that they get to choose it now, makes a difference. They see the good they can do, and they're not deprived of humanizing agency. The delivery of this in their dialogues is also quite lovely, with Khem talking about how each type of boat is made for very specific conditions that it must sail, while Chat brings up the fact that now, there are new types of ship, which can defy expectations, and sail in any conditions. They're both right, and they complete each other in describing the place that they ended up in. And the mutual parting, as they both "entrust" something to the care of the other, does reflect their bond.

Still, all of this would have been even more poignant, if this relationship had been given more space. As is, I feel like I even have to guess to a degree why they do care about each other, and why they do end up choosing the other's best interest over their own.

It's a bit clearer with Khem. We see him being exploited for sex, because of his beauty and grace, instead of being seen and appreciated for his talent and hard work. Chat is different. He helps Khem more than once without asking for anything in return, and Chatra also compliments him on his performance. Other than him, there's only one person who seems not to want anything from Khem, his long time friend Wan, but even he ends up betraying and being willing to kill Khem, when Wan doesn't get what he wants from his friend (revenge against all Chinese people). Once more, Chat is different. Yes, he points his revolver at Khem, but he doesn't pull the trigger, he doesn't use the leverage he has in order to force Khem to do what benefits Chat. Instead, he puts down the revolver, and tries to explain himself and his attempt to save his family.

What makes Chat like Khem? I find that a bit harder to answer, though there's a clear and real interest there, which goes beyond Chat's secret mission with the documents. He saves Khem from being discovered during their first meeting, and doesn't ask for anything in return. Chat pays attention to Khem at rehearsals, to his dancing, to his tendency of getting into trouble when not backing down at the face of bullying or injustice... So we can assume Chatra likes all of that. And then he does explicitly express his interest, when he admits to Khem he wanted them to spend that time together at the market.

Which I guess brings me to the question of... okay, so is this a love story? Their relationship is obviously vital to the story, but is it a romantic one? The movie seems to wanna leave it open to interpretation. Maybe it's my hopeless romantic streak, I do wanna see it as a love story. I think there are some hints for that. The mutual interest and liking, even at the stage when they've barely spoken to each other, the way they end up choosing each other even at the possible cost of their own life, the explicit admission from Chat that he was looking to spend time with Khem at the market even when it didn't appear to have anything to do with his secret mission, the way Chat's admission seems to not only make Khem happy, he looks shaken up, there's the kite flying scene, which is played for laughs (flying a kite is apparently Thai slang for jerking off), but still, it's a choice that the movie made, to add a layer of sexual tension there. And then there's the scene where they're trying to figure out who's the woman in red if no one was wearing red on the night they're investigating. Chat steps into the spot where the woman had been, his shirt white, and red light is projected over him. Khem stands in front of him, and they stare at each other for a moment. To me, it serves a double purpose. One is that Khem realizes Chat just handed him the solution to that part of the mystery. The other is that films often illuminate characters in red to show lust and even love. So this might also be a moment when it hits Khem that his feelings for Chat, who's been helping him, who he trusts, run deeper than he realized.

I do think Man Suang would have been braver and better if it had openly gone with the romantic interpretation. It's not just me being an incurable romantic. I also think that, much like in MR, the relationship that changes the course of the two main characters has to be a really strong one, enough for one to decide to give up his life for the other. I'm not sure that friendship quite cuts it, especially when this relationship didn't have that much time to develop (def not enough screen time, but also not enough in-story time). Was love between two men back then a simple thing to admit to? Of course not. But men did fall in love, and even acted on it. I'm not talking here full blown sex. But enough that the audience would know for sure what they feel for each other. On a local TV show, I was reminded that when the small fingers of two people, who are forbidden from any physical connect, do touch, even briefly... something that small and fleeting can still be a confession of deep love and yearning.

Another thing I wish they'd done is make more use of the unspoken tension created by one man dancing to the beat struck by another one. This was so present and delicious in the first teaser released for Mileapo's movie (before it even had a name and a script), I wish they had retained that. It's somewhat present (Khem says he danced so well, thanks to the beat Chat set for him, and then in the scene exposing Tiang, it's Chat's change in drumming that sets the stage for Khem revealing the treason through dance and song), but could have been used so much more. The play between real life and art, the connectedness or contrast between the two men when they're on the same page versus when they're not... There's so much potential for non-verbal drama, and they captured it beautifully in that teaser, so why is it almost non-existent in the film?

I also... I know that the movie is set in the 19th century, and I don't expect 21st century tolerance to be projected back onto it, but I find it hard to ignore that we have one character spew homophobic shit, Khem denying having had sex with another man, basically agreeing it's wrong, and at the same time, men exploiting other men sexually is not looked away from, it's very explicit and built into Khem's story. Each one of these things can be true in its way (there was homophobia, people did have to go with it, there was male on male exploitation alongside this homophobia), but when every explicit thing in this context is negative, while the one positive (the possible love story between Chat and Khem) remains implicit and optional at best, it feels like it unintentionally leans into the homophobic narrative. Take Brokeback Mountain for example. The environment in that movie is highly homophobic, prejudiced, rude and even violent about it. And while Jack and Ennis had a lifelong love story, they couldn't actually live it out in the open because of said homophobia. Ennis in particular would rather punch a guy, than admit Jack was the love of his life. And still, we got to see their love, we got to see that even with all of the societal hardships, it brought them warmth and comfort, and was a reason to risk a lot, even for Ennis, who was so acutely aware of the threat to their lives. I like that BBM was honest in depicting Ennis and Jack having sex, but at the end of it, even without those scenes, the love between them was enough of a counterweight, that it never felt like the movie unintentionally reinforced a negative view of what two men can have together. With MS, I feel like a homophobic casual viewer, who won't get that Chat and Khem saved each other through something that might be more than just friendship, could easily have their negative view reaffirmed.

All in all, I enjoyed MS. I loved seeing Mile and Apo acting together again, I missed that, and their chemistry is just as superb as ever. I'm not sure the movie, getting as distracted from the main relationship as it did, would have worked without their unique addition of beautiful acting and chemistry. So, I would recommend it to friends, but I guess I would also really love to see a better paced, edited and re-focused version of it. Shine, Mileapo's show that will follow in the footsteps of MS, might deliver that. I can't wait to see! ^u^

(if you're curious about any of my other Mileapo/Kinnporsche posts, you can find them here)

[chronicowboy]

i love you (and i like you) aka the parks and rec au | 65k

"Dad!" Christopher shouts suddenly, moving past Buck with frankly impressive speed. "There's a petting zoo!"

Buck spins around to greet Shannon's mysterious ex and he has to rub his eyes to make sure what he's seeing isn't a hallucination brought on by the sleep deprivation and blaring summer heat because Eddie Diaz is hefting Christopher up onto his hip like he weighs nothing, big cow eyes softer than Buck has ever seen them as he listens to his son—his son!!—ramble about the farm animals with a smile that almost brings Buck to his knees.

"Fuck," he hisses to himself.

"Yeah." Shannon sighs solemnly in solidarity. "They tend to have that effect on people."

"Christ, did you know this whole time?" he asks suddenly. Shannon grins at him.

"I had my suspicions after Eddie disappeared on us at Macarthur park and came back looking like a broken man." She shrugs. "But I didn't know you were the guy my ex-husband has been talking about constantly for the past week."

"Constantly?" Buck croaks. Shannon nods, a twinkle to her eyes. "All good things I hope, but all bad things I assume."

"All good things said with the tone of a man talking about the bad things," she says cryptically.

"Oh, God," Buck blanches. "I told him he hated kids."

"Oh, yeah." Shannon laughs. "That was a fun day for me. For Eddie, not so much."

And Buck hasn't taken his eyes off Eddie since this revelation which is how he knows Eddie hasn't once looked away from his kid, but it also means he's looking when Eddie looks back at him with something wary to the set of his jaw. Shannon steps forward then and starts ushering Chris towards the petting zoo with a pointed glance at the both of them, and Buck is widening his eyes apologetically before they're even out of earshot.

"Eddie, I am so fucking sorry," he rushes out. "I was angry when I said that, but I had no right to accuse you of it, kid or no kid or best kid in the whole world. Which. I don't have to tell you how many kids I meet in this job, Eddie, but I've never met a kid like Chris."

"Yeah, he's pretty special," Eddie murmurs, eyes on Christopher as he navigates his way through the crowd. "And I appreciate your apology," Eddie says to him, "but your fourth outburst was actually kind of helpful?" He squints at himself before shaking his head. "What I mean is that I do everything for that kid. Absolutely everything I do... It's all for him, you know?" And, God, the pure, unfiltered love in Eddie's voice is enough to make Buck reconsider religion because this must be what real worship looks like. "But sometimes I get so in my head about what I'm doing for him that I forget that its, you know, for him. You reminded me of that," Eddie says softly, only turning to meet his eyes once Chris is balanced against the railing of the goat enclosure. Buck gets a little breathless at the remnants of his gentle love on his face. "So, thank you. For reminding me." Eddie smiles at him for a beat before it twists into an expression of realisation. "Wait, you're the park creep that befriended my son and flirted with my ex?"

"Well, that's not..." Buck rubs a sheepish hand over the back of his neck and kicks at the ground. "Shannon flirted with me first, it was instinct to flirt back. And she's the one that called me a creep, Christopher thinks I'm cool."

"Yeah, he does," Eddie breathes out. "Shannon told me what you did for him. With the swing."

"Oh, I didn't do anything." Buck waves him off. "He looked interested is all."

"Well, you made his week. Couldn't stop talking about wanting to be a park ranger. Still won't stop talking about it actually." Eddie shoots him one of those soft-eyed looks.

"There'll be an internship waiting for him when he's sixteen," Buck mutters hoarsely before stuffing his hands in his pockets and averting his eyes. "You know, if there's still a parks department for me to be a part of."

"Well then, guess I'll have to see what I can do." Eddie winks at him, then blinks at himself like he's wondering what the fuck he just did—and Buck is right there with him—before gravitating towards his son.

tags and a bonus under the cut!

@danielsousa @gracelcdomas @angstydiaz @jamietarts @butchdiaz @shitouttabuck @haradrimculture @pinky-promisesss @starlingbite @dontneedmyheart @spaceprincessem @prince-buck-diaz @shortsighted-owl @buck2eddie @diazly

[nova-streyart]

The Thing about Belos Nobody Mentions

There's an aspect of Belos I haven't seen anyone talk about yet: him potentially being on the schizophrenia spectrum, or schizospec for short, and everything that means. Before you say anything, I am a schizoaffective person. This is my interpretation. This is based off my own experiences with this disorder, and my own research.

Analysis and rant under the cut:

=ANALYSIS=

So this all started when I learned that one of the color design pieces had Caleb and the grimwalkers labelled "Golden Guard Illusion". Artists credited in the image itself.

It's weird to me that they're labeled as illusions and not hallucinations, because the latter is what the ghosts actually are. Illusions are images your brain distorts based off something that's there, while hallucinations are images your brain creates from nothing. The fact that these ghosts are actually hallucinations of Belos and not real ghosts doesn't say a whole lot about Belos on its own, because anyone can hallucinate if they experience intense enough negative emotions. But you'll see why I think there's something more to this.

Following this lead, I rewatched the scene where Papa Titan talks to Luz in the In-Between realm in the series finale. After Luz asks him whether her motivation to save her friends and family makes her just as bad as Belos, she tells her:

"Well, you assume Belos' goal comes from a genuine place. But that man doesn't care about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion."

Let me give you a short lesson about delusions in the context of schizospec disorders: Delusions are firmly held beliefs that the person experiencing can't be convinced aren't true. This can be extremely serious and life-threatening, such as as believing all your food's been poisoned. But it can also be harmless; it really depends on the delusion. The type of delusion referenced here would be a delusion of grandeur, which is a real thing in schizospec disorders. Such delusions can be serious, like believing you're the second coming of god, or more harmless, like believing you're better than others.

Taking both the hallucinations and the delusion into mind, it's very possible that Belos has some kind of schizospec disorder.

=RANT=

Let's talk about that scene where Belos goes to the grimwalker cave. Notice how the hallucinations are played for laughs? That's problematic. Hallucinations are not something you can just tell to "shut up" and they'll go away. Hallucinations are not things you can interact with. There's already other media with this problem, such as A Beautiful Mind, but the fact that it's in a show that's supposed to be celebrating neurodivergence is hypocritical.

Let's briefly go back to that Papa Titan quote. See how he used the word "delusion" to describe Belos' motivation?Yeah, that's really problematic in the schizospec community. As mentioned before, delusions can be life threatening, so tossing that word around like it's nothing is really frustrating and insulting. The show should have used a word like "fantasy" to get its point across more effectively if it was implying that Belos has a hero complex.

Continuing this train of thought, it gets worse when you consider how Papa Titan- and in essence the narrative- is essentially ridiculing Belos for experiencing a very intense delusion. Delusions are not something a schizospec person can control. I've already seen the fandom mocking Belos for this quality. It was one of those awful memes with the caption "schizophrenia," and had audio of markiplier doing a bit where he was bantering with an "inner voice". Such memes are awful because they're not real experiences schizospec people go through. They're assumptions about our experiences non-schizospec people make about us.

That would be the worst of it, but no, it gets far worse when you consider a few things:

Belos is the main antagonist. That would be annoying enough, considering the plethora of mentally ill villains in media, but nope. The narrative also treats him as this purely evil being who is incapable of any good whatsoever. Which, OK. It's possible for a schizospec person to be a monster. But the fact that the only schizospec representation we have is either of us as helpless victims, or as irredeemable monsters, is infuriating.

Belos is clearly meant to be a foil to Luz. Which, congrats to the show for having a neurodivergent lead, but let me tell you about some of the hardships schizospec people face: In real life, schizospec people are cast out of mental health advocacy groups. Schizospec people are treated as subhuman by doctors and psychiatrists. Schizospec people are demonized and vilified by society. Schizospec people are denied jobs and housing. With all this in mind the fact the narrative chooses to glorify a character with the "right," the "acceptable," kind of neurodivergence while berating a character with the "scary," the "monstrous," kind of neurodivergence is absolutely disgusting.

=CONCLUSION=

I feel like it has to be said that I am not condoning Belos' actions, or trying to woobify him. Belos, as a person, was terrible. No amount of mental illness tacked onto him will excuse any of his actions.

I'm also not trying to imply that schizospec characters can't be evil. I'm just saying that it's extremely tiresome that the only representation we get is either us as victims or as villains.

To conclude all of this, please, do your research before adding something like this into your story.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Psych Critical

This post is highly related to this post, and I hope you'll read both. This was written second.

I've sent a couple asks to anti psych blogs talking about my own situation.

My goal isn't to change their minds, but to see what options they think are available to my family. Not every attempt at communication is an attack on a stance. I have real questions.

If there are other options, I'd love to hear them. I want these options to exist. I want more than what my family is going to get.

However, no one has responded to my asks. Maybe they think it's bait and I'm trying to catch them in a trick, maybe they don't know the answer, maybe they don't care (if you're one of those blogs, you've forfeited an opinion on my life).

So I'm going to post, under my own name, and ask again.

This isn't bait. This is my life, my every day normal. This is my father's life, every single day.

Psych Critical is a stance that I don't have a choice in. The psych system is only one thing that my family will turn to for help, and if we don't approach it first, it'll approach us on less kind circumstances. And that's genuinely what we're looking for.

Help.

And I think blanket generalizations like the above are about as useful as trash. I shouldn't have to hate myself and my family for needing help and seeking it out.

My father has something called NF (Neurofibromatosis). You might know this as "elephant man disease," though these are distinct disorders that are different from each other. It's the easiest way to describe it, though. He has tumors all over his body, inside and out, in his case. Visible lumps all over his body.

Unfortunately, these tumors are also on his brain. This causes him to have seizures, strokes, hallucinate, and have bouts of violence towards anyone and everyone. Specifically concerning is the voice of God telling him to punish his (now adult) children, and threatening to harm people based on the colour of their skin and religion. These hallucinations likely stem from the fact that he was raised as an orphan in the church (yes, it's exactly what you think).

There was a time when he could have gotten treatment, but we're past that. Initially, he refused. He was scared, I'm sure he didn't think it would end up like this. Now, he's unable to consent to treatment, and it's so progressed that surgery isn't an option. Chemo never was. To make matters worse, he's an alcoholic, to the point that not drinking will cause seizures and will likely result in death. Not to mention the damage to his liver that's slowly killing him. It's not functioning well these days.

There is no POA or will, and he's not able to consent to signing either. He will not go to any doctors at this point. You can't even have a conversation about this with him. Every plan he's set up on, retirement, pension, disability-- he calls them constantly to fuck around with it, cancel it, take his children's names off it, tell them he doesn't need it. They've stopped talking to him and will only discuss with my mother, despite there being no POA in place.

He is only going to get worse. He is going to die, and he doesn't understand.

My father is already dead. The man that raised me is gone, the man that cared isn't in that head anymore. It's a cruel soul using his body like a puppet until it finally gives out.

At this point... my siblings, mother, and I have had to cut him out of our lives. He's mean. He's so goddamn mean and cruel. His words cut harder than his fists, only because there's nothing left to him. He's skin and bones.

I don't know how much longer my cousin can let him stay there. Then what?

At some point, he will need to be forcibly committed and treated, if only to make him comfortable during his final... years? Months? Days? Because of the unique circumstances, there's likely not a drug that can help curb any of the symptoms. Drugs might be able to get him off the alcohol, but he's not going to like that at all, and that's not what's causing the hallucinations. His memory only gets worse by the day. Simple daily things like using the stove are becoming more of a danger, because he keeps walking away and forgetting.

I have about as much choice in this as he does, and the sooner he's committed, the better for everyone, including him. I mean, he can continue to stay out, and pass out on the streets trying to get home from the bar after getting kicked out for starting fights or getting angry when he's cut off. I don't know if or when he's going to forget the way home, and even if I try not to care... I'm scared.

I fear the day he's picked up by the police. I want him in the legal system even less than the psych system, and I think he'll fight any police that try to approach him. This is a man that, I promise you, would rather be homeless than denied alcohol.

This is not my biological father. He came into my life when I was only 1 year old. My biological father was, surprise surprise, also an alcoholic. He was in a drunk driving accident before I was born that killed other people. He was the driver.

My step dad, the only dad I've ever known, scares me sometimes.

I don't want to be the child of two murderers.

So I ask again, what do you suggest? How is this ableist? Your focus is psychotic people, but that's not the only people in these facilities. That's not the only disease that they treat. I read a couple posts from a linked resource (it's tumblr posts, let's not lie), and one of them mentioned something akin to outpatient treatment. @trans-axolotl because I'm using your post. I actually appreciate the "I don't know" of your answer.

It's a lot better than, "you're ableist for even thinking about this."

Friendos, I don't have a choice but to think about this.

This seemed silly to me, though, because psych wards already act like that. Many of the patients leave during the day to work, shop and visit family, and return at night. Rinse and repeat for them, every day. There's a surprising amount of individualized treatment, freedoms, and steps for each patient.

But not everyone can adhere to that. If my dad got out during the day, he would be drinking, and this would exacerbate the symptoms. He's a dick when he's drunk on the best of days. It's why my mother divorced him originally, before the hallucinations started.

A dry house wouldn't work, either. The places this man has hidden alcohol... he's like a squirrel, it's just everywhere, and he comes across them like,

Inside the WALLS, my guys. Hidden in the basement, the wall goes up to uncovered beams and there's a gap, and he hides them down behind those walls.

Do you know how many spiders are in there? He can fucking drink them, he wins that battle. Touché, dad.

When they tear the house down in the far future, I'm willing to bet they'll find a full liquor store down there. And again, the first time someone says, "you can't bring that in here," he'll turn around and say, "then I'm not going in there, diddles," because his fucking language part of the brain is broken and no matter how many times you explain that "diddle" is a CSA word that you can't just use randomly like that, he forgets.

When I first got married, I had him over to my apartment to spend a few nights. The amount of alcohol that got into my house... I don't even think he brought boxers, just alcohol, and it ended in a fight, and I made him leave. After that, he refused to come visit me. He's never been to my sibling's homes. It was the final straw for me, the things he said to my husband are unforgivable. I keep watch from afar now, talking to my cousin about him.

I said a few paragraphs up that the man that cared is gone. Sometimes, I look back, and I'm reminded of all the doubts growing up that he ever really cared. But I still care, and loving him is painful. The fear of what he's going to do next is even worse.

I want to finish this off with one of my... I don't want to say favorite, but this documentary was one that helped me, a fair bit, when it came out. I'd genuinely like the opinions of anti psych people on this documentary, and the true extent of violence and self harm that some patients display. Heavy trigger warning for severe self harm and violence toward others. Obviously.

For some of these patients, do you see another option for treatment? If not psych wards, what do you suggest happens to some of the patients in the video? What role did the staff actually play in some of the events portrayed?

As a general reminder, this isn't to change minds but open dialogue.

"Psych crits are ableist," is a pretty harsh statement considering the number of people in similar positions to myself. I feel like there's a huge disregard and ignorance for the violence that real people are experiencing.

Again, I'm psych critical, I don't accept the system as it is now, I think there's many improvements to be made. I think there is a need, in a very not small number of cases, for this type of system. I understand and appreciate the intersection of race, poverty and mental health that leads to anti psych sentiments, and I agree. There is a large number of people in psych wards that shouldn't be. This needs to be addressed.

But how do you reconcile both? I can't figure it out. I don't know.

[asideofchaos]

II 16 Spoilers Ahead!

So I see a lot of people panicking that the contestants aren't real, but I don't that's what the whole "MePhone Created Everyone" was supposed to mean.

Because yes, MePhone made them and we see Suitcase and Knife glitch at the end, but we also see repeatedly that the contestants have their own souls and free will. Sure, there is definitely parts of them that MePhone came up with; such as PB's fire and the S2 Finalist not remembering the S3 time skip, but we see again and again the contestants doing things that MePhone does not want.

Case and point: Taco. Everything about Taco. Not only was she secretly smart without MePhone knowing, but she 1. tried to steal the million dollars, 2. hid in the woods for who-knows how long, 3. conspired with and manipulated running contestants, 4. kidnapped his assistant, and 5. took over the show for an entire episode. If MePhone had control over her then none of that would have even happened.

Outside of Taco, almost all of the contestants do things that MePhone does not want, such as:

Bow never leaving no matter how many times she was punched with the Fist-Thingy

The eliminated S1 contestants trying to escape Idiotic Island

Paper going insane and everything with Evil Paper happening

The Cherries launching Marshmallow to space where she would be unrecoverable

OJ suing MePhone and threatening to do it again

Tissues making MePhone sick

Suitcase developing horrible anxiety and hallucinations

Microphone taking Taco's deal

Lightbulb using Fan to fly (which we see MePhone call out as cheating)

Marshmallow running away to live in Purgatory Mansion

Lightbulb and Test Tube traveling back in time

Paintbrush painting Steve Cobs and then burning the entire field

Lightbulb and Test Tube finding the Gemories

Fan rushing out to get the egg

Knife not telling MePhone about Taco

Fan and Test Tube creating Bot to bring back Bow; who MePhone did not like

The Eliminated S3 contestants being able to go back to the hotel

Box getting hit with a hammer, falling down a mountain, and then bursting into flames when MePhone did not have a medic

The Floor not being able to be eliminated and almost erupting the volcano

Blueberry faking his own death

Silver Spoon letting his aura get the better of him and almost killing Candle

Lightbulb avoiding telling everyone about what is happening

And those are just the things that are coming to mind, I'm sure there are things that I missed, but there's even more compelling questions. If the contestants are fake, then why do they need a place to go when eliminated if MePhone could make them not exist anymore? What about everything going on in Hotel OJ, Idiotic Island, and Indefinite Island without MePhone knowledge; especially for the last one since he didn't even know it existed until Ep10. If the BFDI crossovers and Nickel's early comments in S1 are to be believed, then at one point Nickel had somehow tried to join BFDI instead!

Even in II 16, we see that the contestants can have their life sucked out of them, which shouldn't be possible if they don't have souls, meaning that they have to. There's also how Bow and Dough are both ghosts and how everyone can be body-swapped in S3 Ep8, or even how MePhone can revive them in the first place with all of their memories and personality intact. None of this should be possible if the contestants are fake.

That's not even mentioning that we already know what a fake contestant looks like with the replicas that Spring made in S3 Ep13! They can't talk and they have few emotions, which is in complete opposition to everyone else in Inanimate Insanity.

Even if MePhone made them in the first place, there is so much saying that yes, the contestants are real.

[magpod-confessions]

i love love love the dichotomy between michael and helen. they are both the distortion, they’re both avatars of the spiral, but they’re so different at the same time.

michael is clearly Not Human, even when he looks like a normal man, there’s something very deliberately strange about the way he talks and acts. he’s been an avatar for so long, he has almost completely lost his touch with humanity and real human experiences. he has no sense of identity, “michael” is just the name he uses first convenience than the name he identifies with, and meeting him is like a fever dream. you question your reality and your sanity, you don’t know if what you’re seeing is real or a hallucination. his laugh gives people a headache and there’s a strong sense of unreality when other characters interact with him.

helen, on the other hand, is intensely REAL. she has only been the distortion for a short period of time so it makes sense that she clearly still remembers human emotion and experience. and she uses that knowledge to manipulate people. she makes people trust her, even when they are fully aware that she is an avatar and probably has wrong intentions. helen uses her knowledge of having been a human at some point, and probably uses og!helen’s memories (since she definitely seems to know enough about og!helen) in order to play with people’s emotions and convince them that she is their friend. it’s like that one toxic relationship you have where you KNOW that the person doesn’t give shit about you, they have hurt you or betrayed your trust before, but you still want to stay with them. they’re nice SOMETIMES, and that sometimes is worth it.

if michael is an averagely human-looking guy (except for his reflection) whose behaviour comes off as strange and inhuman, helen imo decidedly looks very overtly inhuman, but she talks and acts like a human being so surely she’s not that bad, right? while michael manipulates you by distorting your reality and making you feel paranoid and confused, helen manipulates you by luring you into a false sense of security, making you feel like she’s at least not as bad as the other avatars, when she is.

both these characters are so unique and interesting, i find it absurd that people keep comparing them. you don’t have to like both of them, but you also don’t need to bash one of them or act like people are unreasonable for preferring one over the other.

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