amatonormativity: a romantic partner should be the most important person in EVERYONE'S life
NOT amatonormativity: MY romantic partner is the most important person in MY life, but i understand this is not the same for other people
allosexnormativity: EVERYONE should have sex and sex is something EVERYONE needs/wants/should want
NOT allosexnormativity: I PERSONALLY enjoy sex and love having sex because it makes ME feel good, but other people dont feel the same and that's okay
platonormativity: having friends is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs/has/should have friends
NOT platonormativity: having friends is important to ME and I PERSONALLY love having friends, but there are people who dont and theres nothing wrong with that
faminormativity (is that the word?): family is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs to have their family
NOT faminormativity: family is important to ME and I PERSONALLY need my family with me, but other people dont feel the same and i understand that
lovenormativity (again, not sure if this is a word): EVERYBODY feels love and there's something wrong wiith you if you dont
NOT lovenormativity: I PERSONALLY feel love and love people, but not everyone does and that's completely okay!
NOT amatonormativity: i dont have friends/have any desire to have friends, i am happy with other relationships/no relationships at all
NOT platonormativity: i dont have any desire to be in a romantic relationships, and i am happy with my platonic relationships
NOT allosexnormativity: i like hooking up with people and having one night stands or friends with benefits
NOT faminormativity: i care about my family deeply and am close with family members
NOT lovenormativity: i feel love for people i care about
it's not normative to personally enjoy something, so long as you respect that other people simply arent like you and aren't going to like the same things as you. taking down normativity is a two way street, allos and aspecs need to do it. support your local aros, aces, apls, afams and other aspecs today! remember to challange all normativities, and to not enforce other normativity by saying how bullshit other normativities are!
nothing is universal. romance is not universal. sex is not universal. friendship is not universal. family is not universal. love is not universal. nothing is universal.
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okay, bear with me this requires a lot of context. imagine that you wake up on a space ship with an alien species capable of telepathic communication with you. they are also capable of instilling you with the knowledge that everything they say is completely true, there is not a hint of uncertainty in your mind. they have weapons capable of obliterating earth pointed at the planet, and are forcing you to do one of two things in order to not fire. within the fiction of the scenario you are not being given the choice, but you the real you is picking which one of these things you'd rather have happen.
you must eat an 8 ounce serving of human baby meat, by default prepared like a steak (different preparations can be requested). you do not have to keep the meat down once you're done, but you have to get all of it in your body at one point. they do not provide any information about where the baby came from or how it died. if you complete this, they will deposit you back on earth and you will be free from legal repercussions of cannibalism, and it is generally agreed that you are also free from moral blame as it was against your will.
you will be surgically impregnated with a human embryo and must carry it to term and give birth. the embryo does not contain your dna, but otherwise you don't know anything about its origins. the aliens have advanced medical technology that gives you sufficient anatomy to carry and birth the baby, and keeps you healthy throughout, with no risk of long term complications or death. you have the choice to keep or give away the baby once you have given birth, and will be deposited back on earth.
if you refuse to comply in either situation, they destroy the earth and you are forced to live the rest of your life aboard the space ship as a prisoner, until you die of natural causes.
so,
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really have no patience for people who say they want 'accountability' or 'an apology' and then criticize apologies for not performing remorse in the way they'd personally prefer. makes it really clear that what they actually want is the thrill of having inflicted visible emotional pain
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