#//she's definitely standing on a chair 😂

[writermuses]

[krirebr]

Caught Up in Your Trap

Pairing: dark!Andy Barber x f!reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: You spend your first day in your new home. Part of the Trapped AU.

Warnings: Dark elements, kidnapping, human trafficking, drugging, training, punishment, isolation, injury, forced intimacy - Just trust me when I say that this is dark. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

A/N: Oh my god, you guys. Uh, happy sin day, I guess?? 🤣 Because I am apparently incapable of just leaving a one-shot alone, this is a prequel to I Don't Want a Lot for Christmas spurred by some unhinged 4 AM thots. It is definitely the darkest thing I've written so far. Whoops.

Big thanks as always to @paperweight91 who was not only the fantastic sounding board she always is, and let me ramble on about all my research into furnaces of all things but also helped me figure out the title for both this fic and the greater AU it's now a part of (🤦🏻‍♀️ Seriously, Kris, just stop!). Hat tip to Bruce Springsteen for both, as well. I'm sure he'd be thrilled. 😂

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screeching at me. As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

Andy pulled up at the address he’d been given, more surprised than he should have been that it was an abandoned warehouse. Of course, this sort of deal would be completed there. He should have known from the sorts of channels he’d had to go through to set it up. Connections left over from his days in the DA’s office. Well, that wasn’t the side of the law he was on anymore. 

He walked into the large open space that made up most of the building to find a man standing in the middle of a few folding chairs. He had a neatly trimmed mustache and was wearing sharp but tight clothing. He wasn’t who caught Andy’s attention, though. No, that was you, slumped over in one of the chairs, wearing the clothes you must have been taken in. Even like this, he could tell your pictures hadn’t done you justice. You were absolutely perfect. Or you would be, once he was done.

“Barber!” the man called out, a satisfied smirk raising his mustache. “How nice of you to join us!”

“Hansen,” Andy answered evenly. He nodded at you, “She ok?”

“Oh, she’s fine. Just on enough horse tranqs to move her across the country without her realizing it. She’ll only be out for another day or so.”

Andy walked over to you. “I’m sure you don’t mind if I check for myself. With the amount of money I’m paying you.” Hansen gestured for him to go ahead, so he placed a gentle hand on the pulse in your neck, pleased to feel that it was strong and steady. He took a step back and opened the untraceable banking app on his phone. He clicked the transfer button, moving an ungodly amount of money from his numbered account in the Caymans to the account Lloyd had given him. “Alright,” he said, “the money’s in your account.”

The other man snapped his fingers and someone appeared out of the shadows, holding a tablet. “And I’m sure you don’t mind,” Hansen said as the new man tapped his screen, “if I check for myself. With the amount of work I’ve done for you.”

They all waited in tense silence for the confirmation of the transfer to come through. Andy couldn’t take his eyes off you, eager to finally get you home. After everything he’d been through, this was what he deserved. The perfect wife, the perfect family, the perfect life. And he was going to do it right this time, taking full control until he had exactly what he wanted. Nothing left to chance. It was costing him a pretty penny, but it was worth it.

The man with the tablet nodded at Hansen, who clapped his hands together. “Alright!” he said. “Let’s get this done. My men will get her settled in your car while we finish up.” Two more men came out from the edge of the room and started to put their hands on you. Andy couldn’t help the growl that came out of him. Hansen laughed. “Don’t worry, Mr. ADA, they won’t hurt your precious new wife. You have my word.” 

Andy gave a hesitant nod, as they carried you out of the warehouse, clicking the unlock button on his car fob so that they could get you settled. He didn’t take his eyes off you until you were gone.

Hansen reached down and picked up a thick folder. “Everything you’ll need is in here. Everything for her new identity, all in order, all immaculate. Marriage license. Anything from her old life you might need. Although I’d get what you need from those quickly and then burn them.” 

Andy took the folder and briefly paged through it. New birth certificate, social security card, IDs, passport. Everything he’d need to start your new life. He put the folder in his briefcase. “Thank you. Anything else?”

Hansen smirked again. “Eager to get started?” He leered in the direction you’d disappeared. “Can’t say I blame you.”

Andy cleared his throat, not appreciating the way Hansen was talking about what was his. “Yes, I would like to get us both home. Are we done here?”

“Sure sure. You have a good time now,” he smirked.

Andy gave him a curt nod and then exited in the direction Hansen’s men had taken you. There was no sign of them by his car, but you were laid out across the backseat. He opened the door and leaned in to brush a gentle finger across your cheek. He wouldn’t be able to relax until you were secured inside his home. It was so close now.

This wasn’t your room. You’d woken up some time ago (you couldn’t say how long ago exactly. There were no clocks, no windows) in the most comfortable bed you’d ever felt. You thought it might swallow you up, it was so soft. Luxurious. The whole room was that way. Beautiful. Rich. You were dressed in a satin nightgown that wasn’t at all like anything you owned. You tried very hard not to think about the fact that someone must have changed you. The door was locked from the outside, a small keypad right under the doorknob. You tried banging on the door. Yelling for someone. Nothing. A quick exploration of the room hadn’t yielded anything either – the two other doors were also locked, a dresser held only men’s clothing. So you’d spent the last who knows how long just laying in the bed, trying not to panic or cry. You weren’t very successful at either.

The most disturbing thing you’d discovered since you’d woken up here was the set of rings on your left hand. One featured a large diamond, the other was a simpler band filled with comparatively tiny diamonds. The bands were fused together like you remembered your mom’s engagement and wedding rings being. It took a long time to normalize your breathing after that discovery.

Just as you were about to drift asleep again, for want of anything else to do, you heard a few soft beeps, the lock click, and the doorknob move. You leaped up and huddled in the far corner of the room between the wall and the bed, holding a pillow in front of you. There was nothing else in the room to use to defend yourself. Even the lamps were bolted down – you’d checked. 

The door slowly opened and a man walked in. He was tall, over 6 feet, and broad. He had dark, soft-looking hair, and a well-kept beard. He wore a gray cotton tee and jeans. If your adrenaline hadn’t been spiking, you would have found him so handsome. But as it was, you pushed yourself further into the corner.

He was carrying a tray, which he set down on one of the nightstands. From your vantage point, you could see a glass of water and a bowl. You weren’t feeling inclined to take anything from this man.

Your eyes cautiously tracked him as he came around to the foot of the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice deep but gentle.

You didn’t say anything, just kept watching him. He leveled you with a stern look that sent a chill down your spine. His voice was much more rigid when he said, “I expect an answer when I ask a question, sweetheart.” 

You ignored him again, instead asking, “Who are you?”

He took a deep breath, flexing both hands. Extreme irritation passed over his face before it was replaced with a practiced calm. He sat at the foot of the bed and patted the space next to him. “Come sit,” he said. You didn’t move. “Now,” he growled. Something in his tone made it clear, not only that he would move you himself if he had to, but even more so, that you didn’t want it to come to that. You got up and sat on the far edge of the bed. He reached over and grabbed your arm hard, dragging you into his side. You cried out but he shushed you. “Alright,” he said, “I will answer your question once you answer mine. How are you feeling?”

This was the most scared you’d ever been. You had to take a few deep breaths before you were able to say. “I have a headache and I’m a little nauseous. And I’m very scared.”

He gently took your hand in his and cooed at you. “That’d be the drugs they used to knock you out. You’ll feel better when they’re completely out of your system. Eating will help. You can have some soup once we’re done talking.” He paused, for what you didn’t know. You didn’t say anything. He smiled. “You can ask your question now. Good girl waiting for permission.” 

Your head swung to look at him. That hadn’t been what you were doing. Had it? You were woozy and scared and just trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. That was most important, so you let his comment go and repeated your question. “Who are you?”

He squeezed your hand. “I’m your husband, sweetheart. My name is Andy.”

That was the answer you’d been terrified of since you’d seen the rings on your finger. He was fucking crazy. He had to be. The best you could do right now was to get as much information out of him as you could. “And where are we? Is this your house?” You were trying to keep your voice steady, but you could hear the tremor in it.

“This is our house, sweetheart. Just outside Boston.”

Your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up in panic. “Boston?? No– That’s– How did I get here?!” This was even worse than you thought. You were nowhere near home, nowhere near anything familiar.

He just looked at you for a moment with narrowed eyes. Then he nodded and said, “Ok, I’m going to be honest and explain it to you, because I think it will help you understand your place here. But in the future, you need to know that I don’t appreciate having to explain myself. Good wives don’t question their husband's actions. Now, since I’m going out of my way to make this clear for you, I expect you to sit quietly and listen. Can you do that for me?”

You clenched your hands into fists, wanting to rage at him for how he was speaking to you like a child, but you knew you needed this information. You needed everything you could get if you were going to get out of here, so you tried to control your breathing and nodded.

He looked at you like he wanted to scold you for something, but then visibly changed his mind and began. “I’ve had a hard life, the last few years especially, I’ve been through a lot. Things haven’t turned out the way they were supposed to. I wanted a family. I thought I had one, but– It wasn’t how it was supposed to be, and then I lost even that. I wanted to try again, but I couldn’t put in all that effort without a guarantee that I wouldn’t wind up with nothing again.

“I’m a lawyer. I used to work as an ADA and now I’m in defense. In both jobs, I’ve made a lot of connections with people from different walks of life. Through that, I found a man who provides a service – if you let him know what you’re looking for, he’ll find you a person who fills those needs. So I told him that I was looking for someone to build a family with, a good wife. He presented me with a few options, and I chose you. For a hefty price, his men picked you up and brought you here. They also put together all new paperwork for you, a whole new identity. The old you doesn’t exist anymore, do you understand? You’re Mrs. Barber now, property of your husband. I bought and paid for you. I own you, every part of you.”

You saw his hand start to move toward your thigh and you jumped up, quickly pressing yourself against the wall. You just stared at him for a moment and then the panic truly hit you, but this time, it was accompanied by blinding anger. “That’s human trafficking, you complete fucking psycho! The fuck is wrong with you?!” Once you’d started screaming, you couldn’t stop. “You can’t just buy a wife, you fucking cuck! I’m a person! People are going to look for me!” He stood up and came at you and you swung out with your fists, your nails, your knees, whatever you fucking could. You connected a few times, drew a grunt from him before he somehow pinned your wrists behind your back. You screamed as loud as you could, but it did nothing. 

He frog-marched you out of the room as he said, “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this so soon, but you need a timeout, honey. Some time to calm down in the quiet room, and then we can try again and go over the rules. You just need some time to think by yourself.”

You tried to pay attention as he pushed you through what looked like a little apartment: a living room, a kitchenette. He stopped at an innocuous-looking door with a keypad on it, just like the one in the bedroom. He turned you away so you couldn’t see as he entered the code, one hand still keeping your wrists in a bruising grip. Before you’d even realized he’d opened the door, he was shoving you into the room so hard you briefly left the ground. The door slammed shut behind you. You hit the floor hard and groaned. You stumbled up onto your hands and knees. You heard another beep, then the grinding of a lock. Then nothing.

The room was pitch black. You weren’t even sure where the door was now, as there wasn’t any light coming through the cracks. You crawled around, trying to get an idea of the space. It was small and empty as far as you could tell. But there was a low rumbling noise that seemed to fill the room. You couldn’t pinpoint the source just from listening, it felt like it was coming from everywhere. The floor under your hands was bare, concrete. Your hands brushed through cobwebs and other detritus you couldn’t see. You cautiously held a hand out as you continued to try to map out the room, terrified you’d smack your face right into the wall. It made contact with something hot and sharp. You pulled it back with a hiss, pain radiating through your palm. You felt the first few wet drops. Shit. You were bleeding. You’d cut yourself. Fuck. “Hey!” you called out as loud as you could. There was no answer. “Hey!” you tried again, “I’m hurt! I’m bleeding!” No response. “WHAT THE FUCK?” You were screaming now. “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! LET ME OUT!” Nothing. God, this room was already lightproof, maybe it was soundproof, too. He wouldn’t be able to hear you, wouldn’t know you were hurt. You couldn’t tell how badly you’d cut your hand so you raised it above your head, hoping that might at least slow down the bleeding. It was dirty you were sure. God, how long did it take for cuts to get infected? You hoped you wouldn’t find out. You didn’t even know what you’d cut it on. What if it was rusty? Shit, when was your last tetanus booster? You couldn’t remember exactly. Fuck. You really didn’t want to die from tetanus in some random basement in Massachusetts. A tear rolled down your cheek. He couldn’t leave you in here too long, could he? No. He would come get you soon.

You had no idea how long you’d been sitting in the dark, your knees pulled up to your chest, one arm wrapped around them, the other still held in the air. Your shoulder was so sore, but you were too worried to lower your hand. You wished you could see the cut, know exactly how bad it was. You wished you knew how much time had passed. With no frame of reference, no external indicators, you were afraid you’d lost the ability to tell the difference between hours and minutes. It’d been hours. It had to have been hours. How long was he going to leave you here? He had to come back soon. He had to. You took some perverse comfort in the fact that he’d spent a lot of money on you. That had to mean that he wouldn’t just leave you here. He’d want a return on his investment. You tried to ignore the chills that thought gave you.

You’d been crying on and off. It made you feel pathetic but what else were you supposed to do? The panic, too, ebbed and flowed. You’d been trying to keep your breathing even, trying to ignore how small the space was, how dirty, how dark. Deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. It wasn’t doing much to calm you, but at least it gave you something to focus on. 

Just as a fresh wave of tears overtook you, a blinding light came in, directly opposite you. You squinted and raised your uninjured hand in front of your eyes, but that didn’t do much to help.

“Oh sweetheart,” Andy’s voice cooed, before gently lifting you by your arms and herding you out. He half-carried you through the finished part of the basement while your eyes continued to adjust. Before you knew it, you were back in the bedroom you’d started in. He gently sat you down on the edge of the bed and crouched in front of you. You felt dazed. The room was too bright. You didn’t know how you could keep breaking the record for the most scared you’d ever been. There had to be a ceiling, a limit. You’d hit it soon, wouldn’t you? 

You still had your hand raised and cradled to your chest. Andy touched your wrist and you flinched. He raised an eyebrow in question and you whispered, “I got hurt.” He sighed and gently tugged at your wrist again. This time you let him guide your arm down, moving your hand so you both could see it. It was a little grimy and definitely red, slightly swollen maybe. There was a little dried blood, but not much. The cut was so much more shallow than you’d imagined when you were trapped in that room alone. You felt incredibly foolish. You’d thought you were going to lose your hand over a glorified paper cut. 

Andy carefully moved his thumb over a raised patch under the cut that you now realized was a minor burn. “Did you touch the furnace?” The furnace – that’s what’d been making that noise. That’s what you’d cut yourself on. That’s where he’d thrown you. What the fuck? You were lucky you hadn’t hurt yourself even worse. You looked up from your hand to see him frowning at you. “Why would you do that? Sweetheart, you have to be more careful. That was a very stupid thing to do.” He got up and walked into the ensuite, opening a cabinet under the sink.

Was he seriously scolding you for getting hurt in a dangerous room he’d locked you in?? The rage from earlier was starting to return, but it was still tempered by your fear. You did your best to keep your voice even when you replied, “It was completely dark in there. I couldn’t see anything.” A little growl came through your words, but it wasn’t anything compared to what you were actually feeling.

He came back holding a small first-aid kit. “Well then that’s a good reason to keep your hands to yourself, isn’t it?” He sat down and opened the kit, pulling out a few wipes and beginning to somewhat roughly clean your hand. “Sweetheart, I’m here to take care of you. That’s my job as your husband. But I need you to be a good girl and not put yourself in harm’s way.”

“You threw me in there!” you said, your voice starting to get louder, despite your best efforts to keep calm.

“Because you were bad and needed a time-out!” he yelled back at you. He threw the dirty wipes into the trashcan beside the bed and took a deep breath, visibly calming himself. He grabbed an ointment from the kit and began applying it to your hand. “That’s why we’re going to talk about rules now. They’re there to keep you safe and both of us happy. When you don’t follow them, something like this can happen.”

You didn’t say anything. You had to be smart if you were ever going to get out of here and antagonizing him wasn’t smart. He didn’t seem to expect a response anyway as he just silently placed a bandage on your hand and then got up and put the kit away. He came back and sat right next to you, turning so he could look into your eyes. You tried to turn your head away, but he grabbed your chin and forced eye contact. 

“Alright,” he said, his tone already so fucking patronizing. “A good thing that came out of your little tantrum is that now we know the areas we need to focus on most for improvement – manners, respect, and attitude. I did some thinking during your quiet time too, and I’ve adjusted your training schedule to focus on these things. It’ll be good for both of us.”

What the actual fucking fuck? “Training schedule?” was all you managed to get out.

Andy nodded. “I’m sure you’ve figured out that we’re in the basement right now. I have a beautiful big house upstairs that I can’t wait to show you. But you’re going to have to earn it first, prove to me that you know how to be good, that I can trust you before we can go upstairs. That’s what the training will do. I’m going to teach you exactly how to be perfect for me, everything I want, and in return I’m going to give you a perfect life, so much better than what you had before. We’re going to be so happy together, sweetheart. I promise.

“Now, it’s going to take time. I understand that. And I’m going to be patient with you. I know what your life was like before. I know that you probably never expected that you’d ever get to have this. Change can be scary. Dreams coming true, it’s scary. But I’ll be here to guide you through it all. I’m going to give you everything and all I ask of you in return is that you be good for me. That’s all.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to sob. What the hell was this? How could this man, this stranger, be so completely deranged? Be smart, you chanted to yourself. Be smart be smart be smart. And if you opened your mouth now, you knew exactly what would come out. So you kept it shut and let him continue.  

“So first, let’s talk about your tantrum. I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way. The language and the names, it’s unacceptable. So, no swearing going forward. And I think a good rule for you while we’re downstairs will be for you to address me as Sir. Once we’ve moved upstairs, you’ll be allowed to call me Andy, but whenever we’re down here, it’s Sir. Do you understand?” He looked at you expectantly. You clenched your jaw and nodded. “I expect a verbal response when I speak to you, sweetheart.”

“Yes,” you gritted out. He raised an eyebrow at you and his gaze hardened. It took you a moment to realize your mistake. “Yes, sir,” you corrected yourself.

“Very good. As your husband, I expect you to give me the respect I deserve. That’s something we’ll work on. It’s very important that you don’t question me. I know what’s best for you and you need to trust that I will give you whatever information you need to have. If I haven’t told you something, it’s because you don’t need to know, ok?”

He paused again. What kind of Stepford hell was this? What had you done to deserve this? You took a deep breath. Then another. And another. Then, finally, you were able to force out a “Yes, sir.”

He smiled. “You’re so smart, sweetheart. You’ll be upstairs in no time. Now, you’ll start learning your routine tomorrow. I’ve taken some time off work for our honeymoon, so I’ll have plenty of time to get you settled and acclimated. We’ll go over wardrobe and makeup requirements in the morning too. Now,” he slapped his thighs and stood up, “your soup from earlier went cold, so how about I go get you a fresh bowl while you take a quick shower and get all that dust and grime from the Quiet Room off you?”

You held back a grimace at him calling that room that, as he walked over to one of the other doors and unlocked it. He talked to you like you were a child. All of this was so fucked up. But a shower sounded incredible. You had no idea how long it’d been since you’d had one. So you just nodded and let out a quiet, “Yes, sir.”

He beamed at you. “Everything you’ll need is in the bathroom. I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”

You stood and waited til he was out the door, listening to the beeps and grinding locks once he was gone. Shit. You were really fucked. You went into the bathroom and closed the door behind you. There was no lock on the inside. Of course, there wasn’t. 

You didn’t waste much time in the bathroom, desperate for a hot shower. You vaguely registered that the counter was stocked with all sorts of beauty aids – expensive lotions and serums like he’d bought out a department store beauty counter. The shower too, was equally well stocked. So much fancier than the Target sale items you usually stocked your bathroom with. But the shower felt incredible and that’s what you chose to focus on. 

When you were finished, you came out of the shower to see that the bathroom door was open. You could hear Andy moving around in the bedroom. You shuddered and quickly wrapped a plush towel around yourself. There was a fresh nightgown waiting for you, soft pink, all silk and lace. You grimaced and wondered what you’d need to do to get a pair of sleep shorts and an old T-shirt to sleep in. Probably more than you were willing to do, if it was even possible. You dried off quickly and slipped the nightgown on. 

When you exited the bathroom, he was sitting on the bed, the tray of food sitting next to him. There was a bowl of soup and a cup of water, along with a small plate with a few crackers. The dishes and utensils were all plastic. Nothing you could hurt him with. You sat down and watched him carefully as you lifted the tray onto your lap. He didn’t say anything so it must have been allowed. Your hand shook as you brought the first spoonful up to your lips. The soup was warm, not hot, certainly not scalding. Another hope dashed. Throwing it at him would only result in him getting wet. And angry. Not worth it. 

As you ate, you realized just how hungry you actually were. The nausea from whatever drugs you’d had had covered it up, but you were starving. You barely even tasted the soup, you just needed to eat. God, how long had it been since you’d had food? You wouldn’t bother asking Andy. You knew he wouldn’t give you an answer.

After he watched you eat for a few minutes, he said, “What do you say, sweetheart?”

God, he used that word like it was your name. It made you want to scream. You swallowed down all your anger and a spoonful of soup before you said, “Thank you, sir.” 

He gave you a satisfied smile. “See,” he said, “I knew you had good manners.”

You shoved the spoon into your mouth to prevent any sort of comeback. This fucking asshole. Luckily he let you eat the rest of your meal in peace. But he never took his eyes off you.

Once you were done, Andy put the tray on the dresser and then declared it bedtime. You watched him cautiously, as he went to the dresser and took out a pair of boxers and a cotton tee. He changed right in the middle of the room and you turned your head away. You caught flashes of skin, that if he’d been anyone else, in any other circumstances, would have had you drooling. It was becoming hard to breathe again. What else would he demand from you tonight?

You chanced a glance back up at him to find him changed and staring at you. You swallowed nervously. “Come here,” he said firmly, holding his hand out to you. You slowly, so slowly, made your way to him. As soon as you were in reach, he grabbed your elbow and pulled you the rest of the way in so that you were nestled into his chest. “I know,” he said, stroking one hand down your back, “that we’re both thinking about our first time together, but I’d like to wait.” He ran the fingers of his other hand down the strap of your nightgown, slipping onto your bare skin. “Give you a chance to get fully adjusted. Give us both a chance to get to know each other.” His voice slipped down an octave as his fingers traveled across your chest. Your body bowed to get away from him, but he didn’t seem to notice or care. “Give us a chance to enjoy each other.” His breath hitched as his hand traveled down to your breast, the other hand on your back had stilled, holding you close, stopping you from getting away. He moved his head as close as he could to yours and whispered, “I want it to be special.” Then, before you could try to back away, he was kissing you. It was firm and demanding, giving you no option but to let it happen. He angled his growing erection into your thigh, and with the way he was holding you, you couldn’t lean away from it. His tongue forced its way into your mouth and you couldn’t help the way you whimpered. It felt like it might go on forever, when he finally pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m so happy you’re mine,” he whispered. 

And then he was out of your space, leaving you trying to breathe again, alone in the middle of the room, as he climbed into the bed. You just stood there, unsure of what to do, your lips still tingling. Once he was settled on the side of the bed closest to the door, he called your name. “Come to bed now,” he said, and there was no mistaking it for anything other than an order. You ducked your head and climbed onto the bed, terrified of what might come next, but also desperate for sleep. This day had left you exhausted and confused and scared and so angry. It was all too much.

You tried to lie down as close to the edge as you could, but he pulled you in close so that your back was flush to his front, his arm thrown over your waist. “I'm so proud of you,” he whispered into your hair, “getting through your first day without having to go to the punishment room.”

Your mouth went completely dry. A room you hadn’t been to. Somewhere worse than the quiet room. “What's–” your tongue struggled to form the words. You took a breath and tried again. “What's the punishment room?” You caught yourself at the last minute and added a quiet “Sir.”

His hand caressed your side. “You keep being my good girl and you won't have to find out.”

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[overtake]

a black lace bralette 💜

CW: Infidelity through unintentional but also definitely intentional sexting

Max doesn’t send Daniel the photo deliberately.

Kelly watched too many videos about minimalism, got inspired, and is doing a massive closet clean out. Their bedroom is littered with fabric. Max doesn’t even know how half these items even fit on a human body. They’re a confusing mess of zippers and strings.

Kelly gave up on asking his opinion about three dresses in — somehow, “you look beautiful,” is the wrong answer when you say it more than once, and she banished him to the sim.

“I’m going to drop some of these off with friends and get dinner with them,” she says, holding up a bag of clothes and giving him a quick kiss. “Would you mind just taking the rest of the clothes and putting them in a box?”

Max rolls his neck and shoulders, then dutifully stands up from his chair. “Of course.”

She thanks him with another kiss then floats out the door. Max probably won’t see her for at least a few hours, but he’d rather get this out of the way quickly so he can get back to gaming.

He grabs an abandoned cardboard box and begins recklessly throwing things in, paying no mind to his work until his fingers catch on the neat edges of lace tucked inside a silky pink dress.

He carefully picks the item out and examines it, trying to determine if this was included deliberately or not. It’s a delicate black bralette with a pretty little flower detail over the place nipples would sit. He’s never seen Kelly wear this, and for good reason. The band is visibly too wide for her small frame, which means he should definitely toss it in the box. There are tags on it and everything.

He swallows, then tosses it back on the bed. It doesn’t hurt to double check, just in case.

When the bed is clear, he carefully spreads the fine lace over the stark white sheets and takes a photo. He keeps the tag in the frame so she can see the size.

Max Verstappen: This was tucked inside a dress. Looks big enough to fit me 😂 Keep or donate?

He attaches the photo and clicks send, then very intentionally does not check his phone again until after he’s closed up the box and heated up some dinner.

Daniel Ricciardo: Well. If you’re asking me, keep.

Daniel Ricciardo: I’d have to see it on first. It is your size after all …

Daniel Ricciardo: Might look good under this year’s polos

Max drops his fork with a clang and scrolls up to see that yeah, he’d clicked into his text thread with Daniel instead of Kelly. Amazing. Beautiful.

With Daniel, acting embarrassed about it would only make the situation worse. The best move with him, 100% of the time, is to lean into it.

He checks the time, then Kelly’s location. They haven’t even made it to a restaurant yet. Her dot is still firmly inside her friend’s building. She doesn’t always get his friendship with Daniel and the kind of humour they share, and this one would be especially tough to explain if she walked in on it.

He cuts one last look to the front door then slithers back to the bedroom. He yanks out one of the several navy polos hanging on his sparse side of the closet and tosses it onto the bed alongside the wrinkled shirt he was just wearing.

He reaches out three fingers and scoops up the bralette with them, letting it dangle in the air as he tries to figure out how to put it on. There’s no clasp, just some kind of elastic, so he figures he just has to pull it on over his head.

He adjusts it in his hands so the small triangles face the front, then goes for it. He gets a little tangled up in it first try, has to pull it back up to successfully place a complicated x-shape across his back, but he gets it settled. It’s a bit too tight on him, but it fits.

He adjusts the bra so everything is settled correctly and sitting right, then tugs the polo on without daring to look down at the lace on its own.

He pulls up the thread with Daniel, opens the camera, and takes a picture with the shirt tugged open just enough to see the black straps peeking out.

Max Verstappen: What do you think? Will I be best-dressed?

Daniel sends something back almost immediately, which is unusual for him. He’s normally a slow texter.

Daniel Ricciardo: Think I have to see it without the polo to really decide. Very fashion-forward, though.

Max’s body is warm all over, small beads of sweat starting to collect in the pits of his shirt. He can’t explain what comes over him. He moves on instinct, no thought, no consideration of what the existence of a picture like this could do to him if it got leaked.

He props up his phone on the bed, pulls off the polo, and sits in front of the camera. He’s learned a few things in his years as an Instagram boyfriend, and the self-timer is one. He clicks the three-second option and leans his torso forward a little so the bralette takes up more of the frame.

He can see it now, the full effect. The bra being too tight means it pushes the extra fat on his pecs closer together. His arms are pressed against his side, which furthers the effect of his barely-there-but-definitely-there tits. The black lace is a harsh contrast to his pale skin, but the flushed pink on his neck and chest soften it a little. The band digs into his flesh, but it doesn’t look bad on camera.

His athletic shorts look dumb in comparison, he thinks. He crops the photo just below the soft curve of hips, enough to cut out the mesh but keep his full upper body in the frame. The photo doesn’t capture his face — he’s not totally stupid, even if this photo is only going to Daniel — but you can see the barest hint of his unshaven stubble.

Max Verstappen: So? Think the team will go for it?

He watches Daniel type, then stop, then type again. It goes on for one minute, two, three, before he finally gets a voice memo. It’s only four seconds long, but he drops his phone on the bed and lets it play from there.

Daniel clearly has his retainer in, his words slightly lisped in that distinct way they do when his tongue hits plastic.

“I think you should bring that to Baku,” he says. He sounds like he’s aiming for a joke, and is halfway there, but his voice is straining at the end of the sentence.

Max lets out one long, shuddering breath. The lace feels too restrictive, indenting his skin like damning proof instead of an elaborate joke. He pulls it off, then crumbles the material and stuffs it inside the polo on his bed so he doesn’t have to look at it any longer.

He has to answer. He can’t leave Daniel on read, with this half-serious thing sitting between them, but he also can’t play it off entirely. It’s not — he’s happy. He’s in a good, healthy relationship with someone he loves. He stopped letting himself wonder about Daniel years ago, gave into the reality that Daniel’s jokes would never mean as much as Max used to think they might.

Max Verstappen: Maybe I will, maybe I won’t

Max Verstappen: You’ll have to get my polo off on Thursday to see 😜

He searches the emoji keyboard for wink, selects one with extreme caution. He thinks it strikes the correct balance of joking and flirty.

Daniel types, then stops, then types all over again.

Daniel Ricciardo: I love a challenge. See you Thursday.

The conversation ends there. Max finishes his now-cold dinner, tapes up the box for donation, and joins his friends for a few quick rounds of FIFA. He doesn’t tell Kelly about the bra and doesn’t delete the photo from his phone. Instead, he takes the polo with the black lace inside, opens the corner of his already-packed suitcase, and stuffs it inside.

[valiantstarlights]

[The Proposal AU] The Bachelorette Party

Previous Chapter: The Babymaker Blanket

I told @valeriianz I imagined Corinthian being the stripper character in this AU, and this is me having no self-control because I just started writing about it as soon as I said it. 😂 (Also tagging @voukkake because this AU is inspired by her art. 😊)

The song playing at Dream's bach party is Pony by Ginuwine because it's the most stripper-y song I could think of rn 🤷‍♀️

CW: Stripper Corinthian, strictly hobsexual Dream, tabletop games, and as a treat, seductive Dream (towards Hob) 😏

"Bye, Hob!" Jo calls as she drags a very confused Dream behind her. "We're going to see Cori for Dream's bach party!"

Dream hears a crash from the kitchen as Hob rushes towards them, still holding a potato peeler, looking wild-eyed and frantic. "You're going to see Corinthian? For Dream's bach party?"

"That's literally what I just said," Jo says as she starts to put on her shoes. Dream just stands between them, baffled at Jo's flippancy while Hob looks increasingly apprehensive. "You gone deaf or something?"

"Absolutely not," Hob says. "Dream--"

"--is allowed to have a bach party organized for him even when you declined to have your own," Jo continues. "And besides! I wanna get some calamari from The New Inn after. We'll be back soon." She glances at Dream and smiles innocently. "Or maybe it's just me and Gran who will be back soon."

Dream turns to Hob. "Corinthian?"

"He's a part-time stripper," Hob says.

"A very sexy one," Jo adds. "He might make you rethink marrying my brother, actually."

Dream doesn't know who this Corinthian fellow is, but he definitely, definitely thinks he's not going to cheat on Hob with him. Even if he and Hob aren't actually a real couple.

"I doubt it," Dream says to Jo. "I am quite set on marrying your brother." To Hob, he says, "I will be back soon, my love. Do you wish for me to get you anything while we're out?"

"No," Hob says. There's an intense look in his eyes that Dream doesn't know how to decipher. "I don't need anything else. I just want you to come back home to me."

Dream...doesn't quite know how to handle that, but he's pretty sure the tips of his ears are getting redder by the second.

Jo makes a retching sound. "Both of you are disgusting, but I'm still taking Dream to his own bach party. Now come on! Even Gran is already there!"

"I'll see you soon, love," Hob tells him, and leans forward to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. His eyes are dark, and more than once Dream sees him glancing down towards his lips.

He nods mutely, wishing he had the courage to reciprocate--for pretend purposes, of course, since Jo is considered part of the audience they're trying to sell their romance to--but in the end, he does nothing and just puts on his shoes before turning around to follow Jo out of the house.

--

Corinthian, it turns out, is the flirty waiter from the welcome party.

"I thought you were a waiter," Dream says as Corinthian slowly stalks towards where he's sitting in the middle of the stage, sexily taking his shirt off. Around them, people (mostly the women of the town) started hooting and hollering as Corinthian's muscled upper body is revealed, and he bodyrolls a little to the music, one hand on the backrest of Dream's chair.

"I can be anything you want, dreamboat," Corinthian says huskily. Dream cringes at the nickname, but allows Corinthian to dance nearer. "No? Too on the nose?"

"Quite," Dream says. "Do you really have to do this entire routine?"

Corinthian shrugs, but even that looks seductive when paired with his half-lidded eyes. "It pays the bills better than being a part-time waiter."

Dream sighs as Corinthian starts grinding and humping the air in front of his face. Dream understands that he must endure this for the sake of wedding traditions, but the music playing over the speakers irritates him, with the hook sounding like someone saying 'bleugh' over and over again.

"This doesn't do anything for you?" Corinthian asks. When Dream shakes his head, he chuckles but still very professionally continues his routine. Dream blanches as Corinthian moves his pelvis closer to Dream's face--still not making physical contact, but definitely too close for comfort. "A pity. 'Cause, not gonna lie, dreamboat, you're pretty cute."

Dream lifts his left hand where Hob's fake engagement ring sits prettily on his ring finger.

Corinthian just lifts both his hands up in a peaceful gesture, then starts unbuttoning his trousers and swaying side to side, his long legs straddling Dream's thighs. More hoots and cheers as Corinthian unzips and teasingly runs the tips of his fingers over his bulge.

"Noted," he says, as the song keeps 'bleugh'-ing in the background. "But feel free to spank me anyway. It'll get me extra tips for the night."

Dream doesn't like the way Corinthian winked when he said the word 'tips,' but what he says next is even worse. "And hey, I promise I'll try my best not to cum when you do. Your fingers look so pretty I want to choke on them."

"This is sexual harassment," Dream says futilely as, with a single rip of the fabric, Corinthian tears his trousers off completely and throws the ruined clothing towards the crowd, where Grandma Johanna successfully catches it one-handed.

"Spank me," Corinthian says to Dream as he starts to gyrate in front of his face again, this time while running his hands over his abs and pecs. "Before they inevitably peer-pressure you to do it."

"What?"

Right on cue, a large beefy guy in the crowd yells, "Spank him!"

"Smack his ass!" an old lady's voice adds. Dream recognizes it as Grandma Johanna's friend Betty's voice.

"Give him a proper lap dance, Cori!" Jo shouts.

Corinthian helpfully turns around and bends over, looking over his shoulder coquettishly as he gives Dream quite the view of his toned legs and shapely buttocks. His black thong doesn't really leave much to the imagination, especially when he's bent over like this. "Go on, dreamboat," Cori says, smiling widely and lasciviously. "It's a show. But if it makes it easier for you, spank me like how Hob spanks you."

And. Of course, Dream thinks. Of course it's a show. This entire trip is a show, and he's supposed to be acting like his life depends on it. Because it does. His life--everything he built for himself away from his toxic parents, depends on how well he acts like the beloved fiancee of this small town's golden boy.

Dream imagines Hob, with his lazy morning smiles, and his strong arms, and his capable manner in the workplace. If Hob ever spanks him, it would be because of something Dream had done. Something unforgivably naughty. If Hob ever spanks him in a sexual way, it would be like--

Dream lifts his dominant hand and strikes Corinthian's ass like how he imagines Hob would spank him if he had been a brat all day. It's easy to imagine, because Dream often feels like a brat, especially when he orders Hob around unnecessarily, asking him to get complicated coffee orders and making him work overtime even when Dream is fairly sure he can get the work done by himself. It's just, Hob is so competent and amazing at what he does, and surely two heads are better than one. And if Hob sometimes unbuttons his cuffs and rolls his shirt sleeves up, exposing his forearms--

The sound echoes throughout the room, and Corinthian's small moan of "oh fuck," and "Daddy," is lost as the crowd goes absolutely wild.

--

"Hey," Hob says as Dream enters his bedroom. He's sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard, open book held in one hand. He doesn't look like he has made much progress. "Welcome back."

"You shouldn't have stayed up," Dream says as he looks at the wall clock pointedly. It shows that it's well past midnight. He and Jo just got back, with Grandma Johanna returning hours before they did.

Jo had dragged him over to The New Inn to get her calamari and, as luck would have it, it turns out that tonight is game night at the inn--a fact that Johanna definitely knows--and Dream was roped into playing Cards Against Humanity and half a dozen other tabletop games with names like Carcassone, which was probably inspired by the French city with the same name, and Tsuro, which means 'route' in Japanese.

(Jo called him a nerd when he took out his phone to get the English translation of the game's name.)

(And yes, apparently, Corinthian also part-times at The New Inn during game nights, where he becomes the DM to a group playing Dungeons and Dragons. Dream was mortified when Corinthian saunters up to him and leans over to whisper in his ear, "Fancy seeing you here at my other workplace, Daddy Dreamboat.")

(He's pretty sure Jo and everyone at their table heard everything.)

"Yeah, well," Hob says, which isn't much of an answer at all. "How was your party?" he asks, when Dream takes off his coat and hangs it on a coat hook behind the door.

"Exhausting," Dream replies honestly. He didn't think Jo would have that much energy in her body, but apparently, he was wrong. She must have drank more than ten cups of coffee before they went out today.

"Yeah?" Hob says, his voice sounding strangely tight.

"Yes," Dream says. "Your sister has too much energy and the appetite of a blue whale. She must have eaten three family-sized plates of calamari by herself, and beat me thoroughly at Sheriff of Nottingham. It's a pity The New Inn doesn't have Scrabble, or I would have decimated everyone at the table."

"Oh," Hob says, and now he sounds relieved. Dream is too tired to parse out what the tone of his voice meant at the moment, but he will definitely be examining it at a later time. "Yeah, no. I can't beat Jo at Sheriff of Nottingham either. She always knows when I have contraband cards."

Dream huffs a laugh as he goes to the ensuite, keeping the door cracked open a little as he changes his clothes and does his nightly routines. "I managed to smuggle golden apples past her tonight, and she accused me of trying to start a war, which was very nice of her."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Hob says from the bedroom. "Game nights at The New Inn are really fun."

Dream hums and starts washing his face. "I saw a game that looked promising on the shelves, but the owner wouldn't take it down for us to play because Jo already borrowed too many."

"What was the game?"

"Betrayal at House on the Hill."

Hob laughs a full-bellied laugh at that, and the Dream in the mirror blushes and ducks his head at the sound. "Of course it's Betrayal," Hob says. "Remind me to bring you to the New Inn next game night, and I'll play with you."

Dream's hand pauses as he applies his night cream on his face. He knows Hob meant 'I'll play with you' in an innocent way, but the note of warm laughter in his voice made the chill from Dream's bones melt entirely.

It's a sensation he did not feel even when Corinthian explicitly told him he wanted to choke on his fingers while dirty dancing in front of him.

He hurries to finish his nightly routines.

"So?" Hob asks, when Dream had been quiet for too long. "You interested?"

He is, but perhaps not in playing the horror-themed game they're currently talking about. Still, he says, "Yes," and is glad that his voice does not shake, even when his hands do as he arranges the creams and serums in his travel toiletry bag. "The game looks very intriguing."

"If you like that, then I think you'll love the other dark or horror-themed games available at The New Inn. Like Nemesis, which is...a lot, or Gloom, which I think you'll win every time. Or, hey, maybe they still have Unspeakable Words. It's not quite Scrabble, but Jo will agree to play because she adores the little Cthulhu minis."

Dream re-enters the bedroom just then, clad in Hob's old university shirt and his own side split shorts, and watches as Hob's Adam's apple bob as he takes him in. "Will you play with me?"

Hob blinks and his eyes lift from looking at Dream's legs to his face. "Wha--huh?"

Dream smiles. "All the games you mentioned," he says, then crawls into bed--not seductively, he doesn't think he can quite manage that, but slower than usual. More intentional. "Will you play all of them with me? Teach me all the rules and go easy on me?"

"Yeah," Hob says, and shifts a little to make more space for Dream on the bed. Or perhaps to shift the fall of the blankets over his covered lower half. Dream unconsciously licks his lips. "I'll...yeah."

"Then I'm looking forward to it," Dream says. Then, with the courage he lacked earlier that evening, he leans closer and kisses Hob's cheek. "Good night, Hob," he says, lips brushing against Hob's stubble, their breaths mingling together.

"Good night," Hob replies belatedly, when Dream is already lying in bed and has turned on his side so he's facing the windows. He turns off the lamp on his side of the bed and says in the dark, "Sweet Dream."

Dream smiles and subtly nuzzles against his pillow--Hob's pillow, which smells like Hob, and pretends that he's actually resting his head against Hob's strong chest.

He falls asleep with a small smile on his face.

[drabbles-mc]

Interruptions

Angel Reyes & OC Evangeline Reyes & Ezekiel Reyes Franky Rogan x OC Evangeline Reyes

Warnings: 18+, pining, language, this really is just a fluffy little something

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: For my next trick! I will pull out of my bag of wonders a character that the show-runners seemed to have forgotten about but I sure didn't! 😂 Shout-out to Franky Rogan- I hope he's doing okay lmao. I'm not really planning on turning this into a multi-chap per se, but I do plan on just writing some snippets/one-shots that all exist in this universe. This is our first look into this au, but definitely not the last if I have anything to say about it 😂 Enjoy! xo

As far as Evangeline was concerned, there was no real reason for Angel and EZ to be in her shop. She’d told them as much about five minutes after they’d walked in and started causing more ruckus than she wanted to be dealing with. She tried to shoo them away, tried to get them to pop one more door down to go and bother their father instead, but they weren’t budging.

Angel was sitting on one of the chairs by the dressing room and EZ was standing off to the side of the sewing machine that she was currently using. Angel was gawking around at everything as though he didn’t stop by every week, and EZ was studying over her shoulder like he was thinking of becoming the next family seamstress. If the shop had belonged to anyone else, the two of them never would have bothered to set foot inside. Not to mention if the shop had belonged to anyone else, they would’ve barred the two of them from entry ages ago.

“I can feel your breath on my neck,” she said, sounding annoyed for a split second before she started laughing.

EZ chuckled, stepping back and instead starting to pace around the shop. “Sorry.”

“Vete—go be sorry somewhere else. You’re gonna scare people off before they even set foot in here.”

Angel shook his head dismissively. “C’mon, Eva. Don’t think of it like that. Think of it like…we’re like protection, you know?”

Head still angled down at the pantleg she was hemming, her eyes lifted just enough to look over at her brother. “What, you two in the mob now too? MC wasn’t enough?” She shook her head and looked back down at the garment draped over the machine. “Protection,” she mocked. “Who you guys gonna protect me from, anyway? The high school girls coming in for me to tailor their prom dresses?”

EZ laughed as he watched his two older siblings go back and forth. “I don’t know,” he chimed in. “Think those girls might have Angel out-gunned.”

He sucked his teeth. “Fuck both you guys.”

She finally leaned back in her chair, taking her foot completely off the sewing machine pedal. “If you’d left when I told you to, you wouldn’t have to be going through this.”

Angel was finally laughing with her and EZ. “Nah, you know if we never stopped by you’d—” He stopped mid-sentence and stood up from his chair when he saw a police patrol car pull up to the curb right in front of Evangeline’s shop. “What the fuck is this?”

Evangeline mirrored his actions, standing up and carefully draping the pants she’d been working on back over the hanger she’d took them off before she had company. The tailoring job for them was a quick one, or at least it would be once her brothers left and she could actually do her job. She ran her hands over the fabric of her own pants, smoothing them out before looking out the window to see whatever it was that had elicited that reaction from Angel.

She laughed when she saw the cop car parked out front. “Oh, good. Maybe someone will finally be able to make you leave. You think if I ask real nice they’ll give me a couple pairs of cuffs specifically for you two?”

EZ was smiling and shaking his head at his sister, but then when he saw that Franky was the officer getting out of the car, both he and Angel became way more amused than they were annoyed at the cops being there. “Oh,” EZ said with a nod, “yeah I’m pretty sure he’ll give you whatever you want.”

Angel was on the brink of cackling as he nudged his sister’s shoulder. “He’ll give you a pair of cuffs as long as you promise to use them on him just once.”

She rolled her eyes. “I can’t stand either of you sometimes. I hope he knocks your bikes over,” Evangeline muttered with a tiny smile as she moved away from her little brother and went back behind the desk where the cash register was.

There were only a couple seconds between Franky shutting the door to the patrol car and him walking into the small boutique that Evangeline owned, but it was long enough. Angel was sitting back down again, this time just in a different chair that was towards the front of the store. He was leaning back, practically sinking into the soft cushions of it. His legs were spread farther apart than necessary, one hand on one knee, his other on the arm of the chair that he was sitting in. Meanwhile EZ was standing behind his brother’s seat, hands holding onto the edges of his kutte—his default these days.

Evangeline was looking at both of them with a mildly amused look on her face. It looked like they were pulled right out of a movie or a cartoon—stereotypical goons trying to look tough and not quite hitting the mark but they didn’t realize it yet. Her attention shifted off them when the soft chimes above her door signaled Franky’s entry.

He stepped inside, immediately looking around and greeting her with a casual, “Hey, Evangeline,” as he did. He looked at Angel and EZ, seeing the image they were trying to put off and also not being overly convinced by it. When it was just the two of them separate from the rest of the club, they weren’t nearly as intimidating. It was hard to be scared of the same boys he went to school with. He’d known them long enough to know that whatever macho act they were putting on, really was just an act. They had the same look in their eyes that they did back then when they were about to cause trouble after school.

It didn’t take long at all for his gaze to land on Evangeline, the real and only reason he’d even pulled up to the shop at all. She was standing behind the counter, leaning forward onto it so that her elbows were propped onto the wood and her chin rested on top of her interlocked fingers. Her hair was pulled back out of her face, a convenience style when she was using the sewing machine, but there was one unruly lock that had managed to escape and it was hanging just enough to the side so that her face wasn’t obscured at all. She smiled at him, head tilting slightly as it rested in her hands.

He'd known Angel and EZ for most of his life, and it made it hard to find them intimidating these days. In the same vein, he’d known Evangeline for almost his whole life too. Only instead of that fact making her less intimidating, it almost made her more intimidating—it was a different kind of intimidating than her brothers were aiming for, but still. Sure, it’d been so long since high school, and they were all such different people now in a lot of ways, but sometimes when she was looking at him like that Franky still felt like he was the dorky kid in class who was a little in love with his friend’s older sister. They were older now and he was much less dramatic than the teenage version of him had been. In love was an overstatement these days of course. Not that the semantics of it all really mattered in moments like the one he was in.

“Something I can do for you, Officer Rogan?” she finally asked, proving one more time over that she was the only Reyes sibling who could address him as such without using any sarcasm.

He turned so that he was completely facing her, purposely ignoring the looks he was getting from her two younger brothers. He shook his head as he walked over to her, standing on the opposite side fo the counter from her. “No. Just making the rounds and thought I’d stop by.”

She hummed in amusement as she stood upright again. “Got it. Thought your ears might’ve been burning somewhere out there.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “You talkin’ about me?”

She laughed and shrugged. “Was talking about getting someone to throw these two,” she nodded towards her brothers, “out of my shop. And then you rolled up.”

“Yeah,” Angel chimed in from where he was still sitting, “like an answer to all your prayers, right?”

Evangeline shot her brother a look. “An answer to one of them, at least.”

Franky turned and looked at Angel and EZ. “You know it’s bad when even your own sister is waiting for you two to get picked up.”

Angel stood up out of his chair. In two easy strides he put himself right in front of Franky. There was just enough of a height difference for Franky to have to tilt his head to look Angel directly in the eyes. It was something that would never stop amusing Angel in any close encounters the two of them had.

“I bet you’d be real happy to do that for her, huh, Officer?” he goaded.

Evangeline was standing, arms crossed over her chest as she shook her head at the two of them. EZ was watching her just as intently as he was watching his brother and Franky. The scene was amusing from every angle for different reasons. And, as much as he would’ve loved to see how far Angel was going to take things, he liked his sister too much to let it happen in the middle of her shop. It was one thing when they were at the clubhouse, or Vicky’s. But not here.

“C’mon, Angel,” EZ inserted himself into the conversation, “let’s go. Pop still needs help with the compressor anyway.”

Evangeline cut a small sigh of relief, flashing EZ the quickest of smiles to thank him. “Yeah,” she agreed, “go make yourselves useful somewhere. Por favor. I’m begging.”

She was half expecting Franky and Angel to crash shoulders as the two Reyes boys made their way to the door, but they didn’t. Franky did manage to get the last word in with them, though. Rebutting Angel’s, “Stay safe, Officer,” with an easy, “I’m sure I’ll see you two soon. With the lights and sirens on.”

The door chimed again to signal the two of them leaving. Through the glass windows that made up the storefront, she and Franky were able to watch as the two of them made their way next door to their father’s shop. They were both shaking their heads at the pair of brothers, but for very different reasons.

“Nice to see you boys all getting along still,” Evangeline joked once they were out of sight.

Franky laughed as he put his attention back on her again. “Saying that like I’m the one who started any of that.”

She shook her head as she made her way around so that they were both on the same side of the counter. She leaned back against it, crossing her arms once more out of habit. “That’s not what I said.”

He watched as she crossed one leg over the other, the bright silky fabric of her pants distracting for only a moment before his gaze traveled back up to her face. He saw her knowing smirk and he cleared his throat, hands resting on his belt as he looked down at the floor for a second before getting himself together again.

“They give all the cops that hard of a time? Or just me?”

She laughed. “No one has an easy time with those two…” she trailed off for a moment before continuing, “but yeah you get it a little worse.” She saw the incredulous look on his face and she couldn’t pretend that there wasn’t something endearing about it. “C’mon, Franky. I know you were all friends in school but, you know, they grew up and became members of a motorcycle club. And you grew up and became a narc.”

He laughed, placing one hand on his chest. “Ouch, damn.”

She shook her head as she laughed right along with him. “Their words, not mine.”

They shared another quiet laugh about it before the conversation hit a pause. The only noise in the shop was the music playing from the speakers scattered around, a playlist the Evangeline changed from day to day depending on the mood she was in. Franky looked down at the floor, then around the shop, and then back at the woman standing next to him. He didn’t know for sure but he was fairly certain that she’d been watching him the entire time.

“Talk to me, Rookie,” she said, gently nudging his shoulder with her own. “What’s going on?”

That got him to chuckle. “Evangeline, I told you, I haven’t been a rookie in—”

“Franky, I told you, it’s not gonna make me stop calling you that.” She smiled. “I remember when you were slugging your way through the academy, before they got stupid enough to give you a gun,” she joked. “You’re always gonna be a rookie to me.”

“Almost as hurtful as your brothers callin’ me a narc.” There was a brief pause and he cleared his throat. “I really was just checking in. I think they told me that something about this job has to do with protecting and serving or some shit like that.”

She laughed. “Yeah, I heard the rumors.” Reaching back, she took her hair out of the loose, messy ponytail that she’d thrown it into earlier in the day. She continued to speak as the long, loose waves of hair fell down around her shoulders. “I appreciate you checking in. I’m alright, though. All quiet on the strip.”

“’Til your brothers get here.”

She cracked a smile. “Yeah, ‘til my brothers get here.”

He stepped away from the counter and reached into his pocket for his keys. “I’ll let you get back to work then. Don’t wanna be another distraction.”

Her smile was warm as she shook her head at him. “Very considerate of you.”

He stepped backwards towards the door. “Call if you need anything.”

“911 still a good number to reach you at?”

He grinned. “Yeah, that’s the one.”

She was laughing, mostly to herself, as he turned and let himself back out of the shop. She watched as he went back to his patrol car, noticing how he shook his head at her brother’s bikes on the way. There was a split second when she thought she was going to get exactly what she’d asked for earlier, that he was going to knock them over. But of course he didn’t, not looking to kick up that kind of trouble.

By the time that EZ and Angel came back over to her shop, Evangeline had not only finished altering the pants that she’d been working on earlier when they’d stopped in, but also taken care of another pair in between customers filtering in and out. She considered it a successful day, and the shop wasn’t even closed yet. Judging by the looks on Angel and EZ’s faces, she wasn’t sure if they’d had the same amount of success she did.

“Compressor got you beat?” she asked.

Angel scoffed. “Fuck no. We fixed that shit.”

She looked over at EZ. “Did you really?”

He flashed a grin. “Limping it along until the new one comes in.”

Angel’s head dropped back and he let out a dramatic sigh. “Dude, what the fuck?” He ignored the way that they were both laughing as he focused on his sister again. “So, what’d Rent-A-Cop want, anyway? Y’know, besides your hand in marriage.”

Evangeline rolled her eyes. “He was just checking in.”

Angel scoffed. “Yeah, gotta make sure his precious Evangeline is all good over here.”

She tilted her head. “Why are you saying my name like that?”

Angel gestured to the curb even though Franky’s car was long gone. “That’s how he fuckin’ says it! Swear to God, ‘mana, I haven’t heard that guy refer to you as Eva since he was like, twelve.”

Evangeline laughed. “How dare he call me by my actual name.”

“You know what I mean,” he shot right back, attempting to sound more annoyed than he really was.

She tried to divert the conversation rather than going deeper down whatever rabbit-hole Angel was trying to drag them down. “Why are you guys still here, anyway? Don’t you have motorcycle business to attend to? Parties to throw, windows to smash, all that fun stuff.”

“Party’s tomorrow,” Angel replied with a shrug. “You should come through.” He nodded towards EZ. “Prospect is playing barback.”

Evangeline laughed and nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

The two of them hugged her, taking her gentle cue to get going. Angel pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “Just don’t bring the narc as your plus-one.”

She laughed as she pushed him towards the door, but chose not to acknowledge his last comments. “Be careful out there.” She waited until the door to chime shut behind them before she muttered a quiet, “Pendejos,” to herself and got back to work.

Mayans Taglist (please let me know if you'd like to be added!):

@garbinge @withmyteeth @darqchilddaydreamz @artemiseamoon @proceduralpassion

@fanfic-n-tabulous @danzer8705 @justreblogginfics @cositapreciosa @narcolini

[shynmighty]

14, 20 and 39 for Aeseca and Rass? Never participated in an ask game before and too shy to interact off anon 😭🤣

Anon, I love you and you made my day with this!!! And I totally get what you mean (shy is in my username for a reason!!!) Anyway, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Okay! Here we go with some Raseca! From these asks! I am grinning so hard right now.

THEM!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍

Okay...without further ado...digging in under the cut!

14. What is something they argue about constantly? Is it a deep-seated issue or something small?

They definitely argue-banter near constantly, but it's usually just smaller issues...like crashing shuttles. 😂 Aeseca eventually becomes comfortable enough with him that she just rolls her eyes and playfully smacks him upside the head whenever he brings THAT up. And Rass eventually sees the playful smack coming and dodges, grinning.

20. Who handles the spiders? Who screams directions in the background?

Aeseca hates bugs. She's the one standing on the chair shrieking while Rass takes an opportunity for some target practice. His aim is usually thrown off from laughing at her too much, though, so the process takes a LOT longer than it should. And Aeseca knows very well by now that she will be teased mercilessly. It's okay, she teases him right back.

39. Do they dance? If so, who's better?

Aeseca doesn't do much dancing, but she would probably be okay with a little practice! Rass isn't a big dancer, he usually just pretends he's too cool when really he's too big a nerd, but he can hold his own for a slow dance...

...and now I have all these images and scenarios in my head!!! Ahhhh!!! They would be so cute dancing together, I can't handle it!!!

Maybe I should write about it? Or draw it?? 🤔

[turtlesocksv2]

Liveblogging DFF episode 9

last time we checked in, Non was having just the Worst Time Possible, everyone was trying to cover their asses and Phi was entering into Murder/Detective Mode.

i know i've said it before but god the opening credits are SO GOOD. i don't think we appreciate them enough.

We're back in the present day! it's been so long! Tan is fucking brave to fight Fluke for the gun.

IT'S WHITE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR TRIPOD! BAH GOD THAT MAN HAD A FAMILY! love you white you're doing amazing sweetie.

...there was just a water bottle there at the shrine? and it looked opened? are you actually going to drink that? at least you smelled it first??? Ahhhh but notice Phi doesn't drink it! he lets Jin drink it but doesn't do it himself! my sus king.

"Why are you being so nice to me" i mean, dude is at least nominally your friend and you dislocated your shoulder or whatever and there's a killer out there after you guys? i think that'd be cause enough for Phi to be nice lmao. I get it though, Jin, i get it.

Aha, so we've got some timeline stuff. PhiJin absolutely happened POST PhiNon, which i had seen some intriguing theories that maybe PhiJin was actually first but this is confirmation otherwise. also that Jin very much had feelings for Phi but Phi was the one pushing the friends agenda, which we mostly knew.

Jin on that "you like Tan!" shit again, no wonder Phi didn't want to be in a relationship with your insecure self lmao. Tan is just his Bestie who helps with his Plucky Girl Detectiving, no big deal.

Once again, Jin sees things that Phi doesn't. shortly after the water. Hallucinogen maybe? guilty conscience definitely.

well that's one way to snap him out of the panic

slight detour inspired by the blood splatter everywhere in this shrine is that if the Janta Cult isn't real/doesn't play a part in this somehow, I'm going to be so upset. why bring up perfectly good murder cults if you're not going to give us the payoff? BOC? Dr Sammon I just have questions! (that said, the theory that the mafia is using the cult rumors as a front for a body dumping ground is intriguing.)

Oh ho, Phi's gonna confess everything to Jin! but will it really be everything? 👀

poor Phi is so conflicted. he's hurt, but he loves Non but he doesn't want to see him but he doesn't want to end up like his divorced parents, he can't stop thinking about it, he regrets what he said, but he still so hurt.

Non's dad got transferred. interesting.

Ooooh Phi found the picture! and the real script!

Non's mom knows Phi. I wonder if she knew they were boyfriends of if she thought they were just friends. lmao at her Ring The Doorbell You Shady Shit, Were You Raised In A Barn?

New contacting Phi as the news breaks...the drama. i love it.

Tan is New confirmed!

OOOF. major oof. "aren't you sad i'm going to England?" "Whether you're here or not doesn't make a difference" just ouch.

He may have been a Not Great brother in your life, Non, but in your death New/Tan is going to Get Answers and Get Justice! giving up a scholarship in England, lying to his parents about it...Tan is going to Fuck Shit Up.

Jin, get your 'there's a cute boy around!!!!" face under control.

Tan just dives right in to asking questions and these bitches are so fucking sus from the word 'go'. yeah, they clearly have something to do with Non disappearing.

lmao Jin does not stand a fucking chance against Phi's seduction.

i am dying at Tan's "You didn't study, dumbass" on his ankle. Top's face is Too Funny.

Aww, White waiting for Tee after school and the group roasting them is really cute.

Phi how dare you take Jin to your and Non's spot! so rude! can't trust men at all, the second you disappear he's taking another man to the place you became boyfriends.😂 Jin awkwardly trying to figure out of this means Phi likes him back is cute.

Why Jin, how bold! asking Phi to stay the night!

oh damn this is full on full on, okay. Ta's ass just out there bare. "don't worry, i won't be too harsh i don't want to dislocate your shoulder" "who fucks so hard they dislocate a shoulder?" somewhere else in Bangkok VegasPete's ears are burning. Anyway, Phi was like 'don't test me, i'm being gentle for YOUR sake.' and that's the Minor Family Theerapanyakul in Ta. i was absolutely waiting for that astronaut dog figurine to fall lmao.

Tan going for the kill with that Did You Cheat On My Brother. Tan i'm sorry but not only is your brother most likely dead but Phi and Non are actually very broken upright now, no matter how much Phi wishes neither of those were true. Phi is in the clear here re: Cheating. He is not in the clear for manipulating Jin into sleeping with him, but like, Jin's into it so whatever for now.

"Fuck him however much you want but don't fall in love. He's with those assholes so he's also an asshole" i mean! He's not wrong! Jin is a good looking nice boy he could absolutely find other friends. the fact that he stays with these fuckheads......

poor Non's parents.

these teenage boys have better skincare routines than I do and I'm

Jin just pass Phi a note in class: Do U Like Me Check Yes Or No

Ah, Jin has such bad timing. Everything about this is brutal. but lol this makes the 2nd boy in a row that Jin likes that doesn't like him back.

Tan doing chemistry shit. he's gonna be drugging everyone i just know it. also, never ever have your cellphone out in a lab and never answer it with your gloves on! Lab Safety 101!!!!

damn, Tan, you could have at least made up a part time job in england or something so that your parents didn't have to sell their house. this entire family's been ripped apart by all this shit.

and now Tan is alone. all he has is his investigation into Non and Phi his sort of brother-in-law.

oh shit, was it Tan's cigarette smoke that was causing hallucinations???! or are they the antidote to whatever Tan drugged the others with or both?

confirmation that Tan was drugging everyone!

lol Tan's face at he very end as he takes in the chaos

[theforgottenmcrmy]

live reactions to house of the dragon season 2, episode 3

this is still for my own amusement, but as always, I’m open to polite discussion🖤

spoilers below the cut

Still loving this new intro, is it just me, or is it changing with each episode? it’s definitely changing, right?

Ooooooo we’re getting right into the Bracken and Blackwoods, let’s freaking go! 👏🏻

Lmao, everyone calling Rhaenyra a kinslayer, conveniently forgetting Aemond threw the first stone with Luke

Blackwoods standing on business, as usual 💅

Wait that transition was💀 We’re not even into the thick of the war yet, and look at the cost…

Rhaenyra “I cannot fault him for keeping his oath” you’re too good for this world ma’am

Rhaenys spitting stone cold facts. And so poetically too.

This might be a hot take, but I don’t feel like Rhaenys suggesting Rhaenyra make another attempt at peace with Alicent would be a weak move. She’s right on the money with suggesting they’re both largely backed into their respective corners by the men who surround them. One last attempt at peace, woman to woman, is not a sign of weakness (in my opinion at least).

Crispy Cole having imposter syndrome already?!💀👀

this man has the balls to abandon his duty to canoodle with the dowager queen, but can’t take the position of Hand in stride with a bit more confidence?

Lmao, Aegon’s own council doubting him and Cole already😂😂😂

Daeron mentioned again, I want to see the Blue Queen let’s go 🤞🏻

Aemond holding onto that same coin, interesting…

Cole really having a chuckle at Ser Arryk’s death as though he did not single handedly sentence him to that death. And a few people are still disputing that this guy has to be one of the worst ever in Westeros?

I’m pretty sure Aemond’s trying to bait Aegon here, plant some doubt in his head about his suitability to actual fighting in the war🤔

Mysaria, the voice of the small folk

Does this mean Laenor’s dead? And it was recent? I can’t help but think Seasmoke at least would have tried to follow him years ago when he left… and if he’s just recently become restless, what changed?

I understand why Rhaenyra is asking what she is of Rhaena, and I don’t think she’s doing it to hurt Rhaena at all. But Rhaena, that poor girl🥲 she needs to have her moment, even if it’ll take a few episodes or longer. Not to prove her worth to others, but to herself.

Also, definitely getting Daemon vibes from her, in terms of wanting to prove herself

HARRENHAL, here we go! 👻

I know this is supposed to be serious and hall because Harrenhal is haunted, but Daemon sneaking around Scooby Doo style waiting for something to come at him is so unintentionally funny to me

Speaking of Scooby Doo, not the bat flyby😂

Also, Daemon’s armor is sickkk.

Wonder if Daemon ever thought, “This is where Rhaenyra’s last serious lover died. So wtf am I doing here?!👀”😂😂😂

Daemon “knock out guard first, ask questions later” Targaryen

“I’m claiming Harrenhal.” (Tywin Lannister voice): “Any man who has to say he claims a castle did not truly claim the castle at all”

It was so anticlimactic too😂 you will not convince me that the writers don’t know what they’re doing, rightfully throwing in these sort of bits to diffuse the tension

Alys Rivers, that you?!?!?!👀

Simon Strong disowning Larys😂 we love to see it.

Sin begets sin begets sin. This line has no right to go so hard-

“The throne?”

“It’s a big chair, made of swords.”

Music this season is (not surprisingly) serving as always

Do you think Ser Gwayne has his suspicions about Criston and Alicent yet?🤔

This man is so bold, I stg- if you’re that bold, Ser Crispy, why don’t you show Aemond what you just received from his mother? Or better yet, Aegon?

It’s kind of ironic, how Cole has probably deluded himself to thinking he finally has this great courtly and noble love with the widowed queen- all without seeing the hypocrisy of it all.

Rhaenyra needs to set these men straight. I cannot believe how quick they are to suggest she go into hiding. She’s already made plans to send her most vulnerable children away to safety. You cannot convince me that, were she a man, her councilors would not even dare to make this suggestion to her.

Rhaenys steadfast support of Rhaenyra is going to make the inevitable hurt that just more.

Rhaenys suggesting Rhaena become the heir to Driftmark?👀 I like the idea tbh

This is the last time we see them have a one on one conversation, isn’t it?🫥

Chillllllllllls with the dragon eggs. Morning is coming.

Joffrey😓 and Viserys and Aegon.

Helaena trying to rationalize her son’s death.😭 And still acknowledging the small folk…

Also, poor Helaena forgiving her mother🥲 she’s a better woman than me, because I could never.

Larys, the pot stirrer. I swear this man’s only motivation in life is chaos.

But I do have to wonder, is his allegiance really to Aegon, or is it some backwards attempt to keep Aegon safe to garner Alicent’s favor still?

Her name is escaping me rn, but not the poor girl who Aegon assaulted STILL being assaulted by men at her new job😭

I get the desire to make the connection with the audience that Ulf has to Targaryens, but of alll the people the writers could have chosen from, choosing Viserys and Daemon’s father doesn’t sit well with me. Not saying it is impossible, but from what we know of Baelon and Alyssa’s relationship, it just doesn’t seem super likely he’d have a lot of bastards running around out there.

Ulf, already showing his turncoat ways🫢

Oh Lordy, that’s a bit graphic

Aegon, still being a terrible bully to his younger brother. Great to see how little his truly changed over the years.

Oh Lordy, the Aemond girlies are going to go absolutely feral after this scene———

Daemon might have been the one to call him Ser Crispin, but his daughter is about to make the name become a reality 😂👏🏻

Just the foreshadowing of Rook’s Rest is already too much for me personally🥲

Here we go, more mystery solving antics from detective Daemon…

🫨🫨🫨

Now if that man didn’t truly love Rhaenyra in his own way (or at least have some guilt over what he had done) why the hell would he have had that reaction to that vision?

The Sept?👀

SEPTA RHAENYRA👏🏻

The new Kingsguard members might not have even recognized Rhaenyra if they had seen her

Alicent swearing on the memory of her mother, just like Rhaenyra had years before🫢

Literally seeing a lightbulb moment go off in Rhaenyra’s head-

Ooooooooooo god, Alicent realizing all this started because of a misunderstanding and her hearing what she wanted to hear👀

And of course, she has to double down. It’s already gone too far.

I do have to pity Alicent a little here. Just like Cersei, she has to admit that she knows her son has become a monster she cannot control.

Alicent can think she is taking the upper hand now, but the next time she sees Rhaenyra, it’s likely to be another story😏

Chillllllllls for next week’s preview

[raeflora]

Since you said you're open to spicy Chair questions... what do you think is Chair's favorite sex position?? 😏😂

hi!! skafjkdk this is such a fun question and I said I wanted spicy so ty and if u have any other spicy questions pls just ask 🫶🏻🫶🏻 obviously this answer is nsfw bc we're literally talking about sex positions so I'll put it under a read more just in case anyone's uncomfortable

so, contrary to what dan humphrey thinks, it's canon that they enjoy missionary. blair says that chuck thrives on top in 4x08 and they're shown doing it in monte carlo, so I think they both like it and it would probably be something they do often

based on the alternate take of their sex scene in 4x09 I also think they enjoy positions where chuck's behind her so like spooning or doggy. I also think they'd do it standing as well based on him spinning her around a lot and probably in front of mirrors or windows too

obviously they also like any excuse for blair to be on top of him so she definitely rides him a lot sksfjkdk I feel like they wouldn't do reverse cowgirl as much bc they like watching each other

in terms of oral positions she would definitely sit on his face but their favourite is probably her on her back like in 4x08 or sitting. I can imagine her preferring to go down on him while he's standing so she can look up at him and drive him insane

they probably do other wild positions too bc they're like that but I think their favourites would be the ones that let them enjoy each other the most, depending on what they need at the time

edit: can't believe I forgot this but the definitely like to 69 bc it's equal!!

[musette22]

Hiii hello loveliest Minnie 🥰🥰 The idea of Seb with his long hair and the hair tie bumping into Chris you told me about is just SO good, I had to write something. So. Here we go. 😂

Chris is just leaving the restaurant after a lunch with his manager, going through his schedule for the upcoming week. There’s so much promo for Ghosted on his schedule, it’s a little dizzying - especially having to fly back and forth between New York and LA so much for it. He’s grateful for Ana really - not having to do these things alone makes things so much easier.

So maybe, Chris is a little in his head when he walks by him, sitting on the restaurant’s outside patio. Still. He catches him out of the corner of his eye, and there’s something in Chris’s brain that comes alive with it, instant recognition, his head shouting at him “stop, stop, look.”

He stops. He looks. Almost does a double take. It really is Sebastian.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise. He knows Sebastian spends a bunch of his time around here for work. They just rarely run into each other. Even If Chris keeps hoping to turn a corner and see him there, every time he’s in LA. Or New York. All the time, really. Picking up his phone and texting him would probably be an easier way to satisfy the craving of laying his eyes on Sebastian. The problem just is that as soon as he does, he starts to over think, and then never sends the message.

He looks again, taking advantage of the fact that Seb seems engrossed in the book he’s reading and hasn’t spotted Chris yet. He looks so fucking good. He has that long hair again, hair that makes Chris so desperate to run his fingers through. His breath hitches when Sebastian pushes a lock of it back behind his ear.

Chris probably stands there for too long. Definitely too long, as a waitress comes up to him and asks him if she can help him. He stumbles through a quick thank you, telling her he’s fine, before focusing back on Sebastian.

But now, when he looks at him, Sebastian is looking back. He looks adorably confused for a second, like he can’t quite place Chris being here, but then those gorgeous grey-blue eyes light up, crinkling at the corners. Sebastian smiles at him so brightly, it’s almost blinding.

Chris only barely remembers how to breathe, before smiling back. He still doesn’t move, still somewhat entranced, until Sebastian tilts his head, confused again. When Seb starts to frown, and something like disappointment starts to cross his features, Chris finally manages to get his body back into gear. He’s such an idiot.

“Hi, hi,” he says, still a little breathless. “Seb.”

Sebastian is smiling again, thank god. “Chris!” He answers excitedly, “oh my god, can’t believe I’m running into you here.”

Chris scratches the back of his head. “Just uhm, work.” Great job, he thinks self-deprecatingly.

“Do you, uhm, do you have time to…?” Sebastian starts, gesturing to the empty chair across from him.

Chris looks at the chair like it’s something worth studying. It probably is, according to his brain, because Sebastian points it out to him. Also, probably, because his brain is having difficulty processing anything faced with Sebastian, looking so incredible, happy and healthy and just good, mouthwateringly good.

Realizing that he’s been staring at the chair, not saying anything, he looks at Sebastian again. “Oh, yeah, if- if you…I’d love to?”

His stumbling makes Sebastian grin, his eyes crinkling even more at the corners in amusement.

When he finally sits down, neither of them says anything. They stare at each other for a moment. Chris is so busy greedily taking in all of Sebastian’s features, committing them to memory - like they don’t live in his head rent free - that he doesn’t realize Sebastian is doing the same.

They figure it out at the same moment, both laughing softly. Sebastian blushes a little, pushing away a stubborn lock of hair again. Chris is helpless but the follow the movement. He gets stuck again for a moment, looking at the hair tie on Seb’s wrist.

Sebastian sees it, chuckles. “Yeah, it’s about that length again. Hair ties are essential in this phase.”

Chris nods. “I- I like it. I remember you always leaving those all over the place.”

That makes Sebastian duck his head. “Oh god.”

“No, no, I don’t mind,” Chris reassured him. “I kinda. It’s. It’s good. The hair. I always liked it like this.” Please god someone save him. How is it that he manages to hold normal conversations all the time, but faced with Sebastian, he becomes…a bumbling idiot? He knows why.

“Yeah?” Sebastian asks, looking up at Chris through long lashes. He’s so ridiculously beautiful. Chris can’t believe he’s survived so long without seeing him.

His mouth gets ahead of his brain, again. “I’ve missed you,” he says, not an answer to any question asked, but it’s the one of two thoughts running through his mind over and over and it’s become impossible not to voice it.

Sebastian’s face lights up, making him even more beautiful than Chris ever thought possible. “I’ve missed you too,” he says softly, shuffling in his chair a little.

Chris stays there for the rest of the afternoon, catching up with Sebastian over coffees and later beers, before deciding that it’s late enough to just stay for dinner.

Somehow, he manages until after dropping Sebastian off at the apartment he’s staying at, to voice the other thought that runs through his mind over and over. He can’t believe his luck, when it turns out, Sebastian feels the same.

Okay bye this was longer than I thought it would be and rambly but I hope you enjoy and I love you very much and people that hate on either one of our boys should kindly fuck off pls and thank you. 💕💕💕💕

Maya, I am literally sobbing, I cannot find the words to adequately express how much i love, love, LOVE this right now, but I god,I do 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I LOVE THIS SO!! MUCH!!! 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘 I needed this SO much, you don't even know (except probably you do, since you wrote this in record time and somehow made it absolutely PERFECT ✨️💫✨️)

YOU ARE A GENIUS AND A DELIGHT, thank you for single handedly saving my night, I love you and these boys so fucking much, oh my god ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[golden--doodler]

I've definitely been busy making things lately 😂

I made a behemoth of a chapter of my Bob's Burgers AU for @drawthething to go with this lovely Commission she made for me back in March which I've already yelled about several times:

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I love the episode Something Old, Something New, Something Bob Caters For You, so writing this was an absolute joy:

Bob’s day had been fantastic—by far the most wonderful, significant one he’d experienced in years. So it didn’t matter that everything went wrong in every conceivable way. So fantastic, in fact, that he gnawed on his knuckle from all the distress the day brought him. No, he didn’t want to be thinking about the best day of Cole (?) and Farrah’s lives this way. Not when they shared their special day because of what he’d created. Their excitement was contagious as they shared the news with him, and he held onto the memory of their wide smiles and waving hands. At first, he almost didn’t accept the reality of his food making connections.

However, the disaster playing out in front of them continued to be impossible to ignore. The already harsh, temperamental wind reared its vengeful head. The priest, standing as still as a statue in front of his official podium, and dressed in a respectable cream robe, was about to officiate the couple’s union. But the wind blew hats and hair without reprieve.

The priest opened his mouth, and almost everyone leaned forwards in their chairs, eager to pay attention to this moment, the moment everyone came for. He spoke, and the wind began blowing again. He spoke the first two words, and everyone caught them, but the rest got lost in the weather. Bob tilted his head, praying somehow this was someone’s poor idea of a joke. He refused to believe the reality in front of him—What’s-His-Name and Farrah had been through enough already. Now their most momentous moment had become disrupted? This wouldn’t occur without Bob helping.

He placed his hands on his knees, preparing to stand, when he noticed a familiar weight on his shoulder. Turning, he was about to tell off whoever delayed him when he realized who it was.

Linda provided him with a modest, gentle smile, making his chest ignite with the same explosive warmth that always appeared when Linda was merry. She let out a subdued, almost imperceptible laugh, which she covered with her mouth. If this had been anyone else, he would have demanded what the person had found so amusing. But with Linda, he couldn’t stop a small grin of his own forming. 

He took a moment to remember how to say what he wanted, then signed, “What’s so funny?”

She beamed again, then lifted her free hand into a casual pose. “Hey, at least I’m not the only one who can’t hear this, right? Ironic, isn’t it?”

There was something about the way her eyes crinkled at the sides and the way she had asked those rhetorical questions which broke Bob. It was clear she wasn’t making fun of the ceremony or the couple. She was just making an observation, one he needed but didn’t realize. A laugh erupted from him—obnoxious and impossible to ignore. As people began turning towards him with their judgemental stares, his face bloomed with fresh warmth.

He faced his wife again and couldn’t help but appreciate the way her catering outfit contoured to her beautiful curves as she giggled. 

“Stop making me laugh when I’m so stressed, Lin.” He took a moment to sign “Yes,” in response to her rhetorical questions, his hand bobbing up and down in harmony with his voice. He shook his head, fighting to keep his composure at bay. “I’m not—this is supposed to be serious. Farrah and the… uh… groom, they’re having an awful time, Lin. This is their wedding day, and nothing’s been going well. It’s been one disaster after another.”

Linda planted her palm on his shoulder, her eyebrows shooting up at his transparent statement. “That’s true. But I don’t think it’s a wedding they’ll forget.”

She gestured around them, pausing when she found Tina, Gene, and Louise eyeing something else rather than paying attention to the ceremony. It amazed him to discover that this wedding was entertaining everyone, despite it being a catastrophe. A geriatric couple was watching with hands over their chests and handkerchiefs dabbing at their eyes. Two women with a young child were leaning forward, anticipating the inevitable “I Do”. Their child was anticipating it too, being well-behaved for someone of that age. There was also a man who’d come by himself with someone on a video call on his phone. He was relaying the disastrous events of the wedding in a hushed, almost excited tone. Even their children were finding something to look forward to, it being the burgers Bob had prepared earlier. Then, an idea to save this wedding hit him like a thunderclap. Bob sprung from his chair, almost knocking it over in his haste. He slid his hand under a tray filled with steaming, juicy burgers that he had prepared earlier and carried them towards the seated guests.

The priest didn’t cease with trying to recite everything to officiate the couple into a marriage. But he could see Cameron and Farrah gawking at the display. 

Cameron’s jaw seemed tight and clenched, and Farrah’s head tilted in curiosity. Bob began passing out some burgers, praying the food would distract everyone from the tragedy unfolding in front of them. He was about to pass out another when Linda seized his shoulder with a ferocity he didn’t know she was capable of.

“Bob, what are you doing?”

“This can still… I can still save this, Lin. I… well… it looked as if people were enjoying some of this ceremony. I’m sure it was for the wrong reasons, though. This wedding can become one Casey and Farrah won’t forget for the right reasons.”

Linda’s eyes narrowed, and she yanked him towards her. “Look, I know how important this wedding was to you, but you got the wrong idea from what I was trying to tell you. You don’t need to fix anything, Bob. Everything will happen as it should. Everyone is having fun, despite all of this insanity happening. Besides, it doesn’t matter, anyway. I already said I doubt these two will last much longer than the Honeymoon Phase.”

She then became distracted and sighed, her cheeks becoming tinged with pink. “Aw, do you remember ours? It was…”

She shook her head, forcing herself to focus again. “No, wait, what I’m trying to say is, enjoy the moment like everyone else. You need to let this go.”

Bob didn’t realize he was shaking until Linda’s mouth opened and closed a bit, like a pufferfish. He shook his own head, his black curls flying in several directions. “I can’t let this go. You don’t get it.”

Linda’s nose became wrinkled, and air blew out of it. It was astonishing he could hear it over the wind. “What? What don’t I get, Bob?”

“This is all I have!” His voice raised an octave higher than he intended, his hands slapping together in a furious motion as he finished signing to his wife. It caught the attention of everyone, who glanced his way for a moment. Perspiration began gathering in his palms and his neck became more heated than he’d remembered it being. He held out his hands in a silent apology, and the ceremony proceeded.

He lowered his voice, blinking his eyes so no tears would fall out. The last thing he needed was to cry in a public setting. And God knows how many times he’d cried in front of Linda. “This is all I have. If Christopher and Farrah can’t be a successful couple after meeting in my restaurant, then doesn’t that mean I was right? That my restaurant is nothing more than some… some joke? Some pipe dream I thought would be worth pursuing? I’m sorry, Lin, but you… you agreed to spend the rest of your life with a failure.”

Linda pursed her lips and tilted her head farther down the field. It was one of their non-verbal methods of communication. That action to them meant they should go talk in seclusion. He held his palms out to ask her why. She snatched his arm and scrambled down the field until they were away from the ceremony and out of earshot. Not that they needed to be, because of the wind, but it was still better to be safe.

Linda locked her eyes onto his, and the urgent, heavy desire to look away seized him. But he forced himself to continue gazing into Linda’s eyes. She took a long, steady breath, and waited until he began doing so as well.

Oh. She’s trying to settle me down.

Once a slight sense of serenity began seeping into him, she began signing. She signed in the way she always did, slow and deliberate, so he could keep up with her hand movements. Linda was so experienced with sign, it seemed to be an art form for her. Her hands flew in the air as if were some kind of dance, moving in tandem with each other as if they were dedicated partners in said dance. She spoke in the same slow and deliberate fashion as well, and he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to her rosy red lips.

“You know I almost gave up on romance before I met you?”

He blinked, the statement and its implications taking a moment to sink in. He was well aware of Linda’s past relationships, and how none of them had worked out. Hugo was the most prevalent one. However, he didn’t know she’d almost abandoned the idea of true love. This was Linda, the most hopeful romantic he’d met, the one who’d convinced him that love was possible. She convinced him in every way every day they were together. The times she stroked his hair while he was half-asleep. Whenever she offered him a glass of wine late at night when the kids had gone to bed. The times she put on a song, the sound blaring throughout the house, reverberating through the walls, and invited him to dance with her to the beat. Even if he resisted, he would always end up dancing with her, anyway. It was as if she had some power over him, some inconceivable, intangible ability to make him do things he wouldn’t if he was by himself. Believe in things he wouldn’t if he was by himself.

“It’s true. I felt as if no one understood me. Without my hearing, I thought there wouldn’t be anyone patient enough to get to know me. There were people who tried, maybe a bit too hard. But there was still something missing in our relationships. I kept searching, and when I could never find it, I wanted to stop trying. I got exhausted having to go through the same routine every time. After I’d revealed my disability, they’d have a few moments of surprise. Then they’d all ask question after question until they decided being a deaf woman’s husband wasn’t worth the trouble. They decided knowing me wasn’t worth the trouble.” Her voice got caught in her throat, and the sound made Bob feel as if a knife was slicing his heart into ribbons.

“I was preparing myself for what a future of being like Gayle would entail for me. An apartment with a bunch of cats. I tried convincing myself the idea didn’t sound too bad.” She took a sharp, heavy breath and allowed a slight smile to grace her face. “But then we had our first date.”

She exhaled a giggle, allowing herself to get caught up in the memories. Bob had to admit he was getting caught up in them, too. They were wrapping around him as if they were an embrace. “I didn’t want to tell you about my deafness, because I liked you from the moment I saw you. You had that incredible mustache, it was so handsome. You also had a look in your eyes… a look saying you had so many stories and secrets to tell and wanted to let just me in on them. I’m sure you remember how hard I tried keeping it hidden for so long. Then you found out, but your reaction differed from everyone else’s. You asked me how to say “Hello” and “Goodbye” and other things in sign language. You didn’t see me as a burden, you saw me as a person. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from someone, and you gave it to me.”

She took his hands and weaved her fingers through his. He adored the cool, delicate feeling of her skin, and wanted to savor it. “The reason I’m telling you all of this is because I want you to get this into your thick skull, Bobby: You. Are. Not. A. Failure. I don’t care how many times I need to say it. I will tell you this until you believe it. You have supported me through so much, so supporting you with the restaurant is the least I can do. I will continue to support you, even if this wedding continues to be a disaster. Even if the Ratpocalypse happens.”

“Wait, Ratpocalypse?” A smirk danced across his lips, and it was refreshing to feel some amusement again.

“It’s possible. The point is, your dream is not a joke. I’m not stuck with you. Tina, Gene, and Louise are not having awful childhoods. Remember when you fired them because you wanted them to run around and play outside? After a while, all they wanted to do was come back and work at the restaurant again. Even if they won’t admit it—well, maybe Tina would—they love working there. I love working there, too. You need to realize what you’ve accomplished rather than what you haven’t accomplished or might not. Weddings are supposed to be fun, and you’ve been giving yourself gray hairs trying to prove something you don’t have to.”

Bob’s shoulders slumped as he realized how fatigued he was. Everything Linda said was accurate. He’d been tearing himself apart trying to prove he wasn’t a failure. To prove to his father that he hadn’t made a mistake leaving the family business. To prove his children would be content with the hand he had dealt them. He was searching for external validation, something telling him everything would be all right.

However, the one person he needed, the one telling him everything would be all right, was right in front of him all along. A switch seemed to flip in his brain as he realized how powerful Linda’s validation felt. It was thrilling, and he didn’t want anyone else’s if hers felt this stupefying. It was a drug he couldn’t overdose on, and he hadn’t appreciated it until now. He leaned forward and angled his head against her shoulder, tears threatening to spill once again.

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

“You have, but I don’t mind.” Linda hummed, resting her head against Bob’s. He thought he’d find the sensation of her hearing aid against his head to be unpleasant, but he found it heartening. “I love you too. Don’t forget that, mister.”

He chortled, the noise rumbling deep in his throat. “I won’t. Thank you for this, Lin. I needed this more than I thought.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I think part of you knew all of this already. Part of you knew you’d want to keep working at the restaurant no matter what happened. I just had to remind you.” 

Bob opened his mouth to respond when he felt something heavy collapse into him. He turned, his eyes meeting his eldest daughter’s. Tina brushed her navy skirt down, and Gene and Louise soon joined her.

“Dad, everyone loves your burgers. They all tried some after Connor and Farrah said, “I Do” and kissed. They want more.” Tina bounced on her heels, her arms waving from side to side in a show of elation special to her. 

His breathing became more rapid than what he assumed was healthy. “They like it?”

Tina nodded, and Gene did a full pirouette, which Bob had to concede was remarkable, before becoming dizzy and falling on his rear.

“We tasted them too, and they’re fabulous! I don’t know how you pulled it off, you beautiful bastard.”

He groaned, but beamed at the same time. “Please don’t call me that, Gene.” 

“Congratulations on making something people like for once.” Louise said. She folded her arms across her chest, the sarcasm evident in her tone, but she was beaming too.

Linda’s hands flew in the familiar routine of her signing, “Thank you for telling us, kids. I think we should all go back now. I’m sure Connor and Farrah were too occupied to realize we left, though.”

“There’s the tiny issue of the cake still being destroyed, though.” Tina said, reminding them of Bob’s most tremendous mistake of the day. “What’re we going to tell them?”

Bob let an “Oh my God” slip.

They congregated back to the prime area where the ceremony had taken place. Chase and Farrah were conversing with some people Bob assumed were family. Once they wrapped up their discussion, they turned their scrutiny to the Belchers.

“Bob, Linda, are you two all right? You just left in the middle of us getting married.” Chase’s nose became scrunched at the memory.

“Oh, we’re all right. I… well…” Bob rubbed his hands together, and he speculated if they would become red from the force.

Linda then took a step forward. “Uh, I think it’s just about cake time, don’t you?”

Some awkward laughs slipped out of her as Bob’s hand reached towards his head. He almost yanked at his locks, a habit he couldn’t shake, when Farrah spoke up before he could do anything.

“Oh, cake sounds marvelous right now. Thank you for keeping it safe for us.” Farrah said.

He whimpered, and once Linda presented it to the public, everything developed as he foresaw. Farrah’s mascara ran as tears flew down her face.

“Everything did go wrong today. I kept telling myself it was all okay, just one thing here or there, but it’s everything, it isn’t okay. The wind blew everything everywhere. I lost my baby blanket that I was gonna give to my children!” Farrah’s distraught hands flew towards her mascara-streaked cheeks.

“Poor little baby, The Belcher Children,” Louise said.

Bob fixed his youngest daughter with a hardened stare, not having the tolerance for her comments at the moment. “Louise.”

“And now Grandma’s cake is ruined. Is this just one big omen?”

Clyde sputtered before saying, “Of course not. We’re-We’re-We’re gonna be okay.”

He stepped forward, wanting to placate his new wife, but she drifted away from him. “But what if we aren’t?”

Bob opened his mouth, preparing to intervene, but Linda beat him to it. She tapped on a microphone, and he recognized with a jolt that this was Linda’s first time speaking in public. She cleared her throat, wavering for a second before stepping onto a table. “Farrah, I’m so glad you brought that up. Look, when you first told me you were getting married after three months, I thought you were bananas in the tailpipe. I thought it was too short. You haven’t smelled each other’s farts. You haven’t been through enough bad stuff together, I thought.”

She paused, wincing, and smacked the side of her head. “Ow, sorry, hearing aid feedback. Anyway, I think my experiences made me biased and made me think you had to wait a massive amount of time to commit to someone. So many people have judged me for who I am before they got to know me and decided I wasn’t worth the time of day. I even began considering if love was just a fairytale. I wondered if I would grow old by myself, with no one who cared enough to get close. Then I met Bob, and even though we waited a lot longer to get married, I understand how it feels when you meet someone you know gets you.”

She paced along the table, gesticulating as her speech became more ardent. “But looking at you now, can I tell you something? I guarantee you two are gonna make it.”

Farrah sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “We are?”

“Yeah, you are. The way you handled everything today shows all you really care about is each other. You know what else? The cake doesn’t look great, but I bet it still tastes great. There’s no dirt in it or anything. Just pretend like you already chewed it!”

It was the most astonishing speech Bob had ever had the pleasure of witnessing. Linda ended up taking a tentative bite of the wrecked cake, and regretting it, but everything she had said replayed in his mind as if it was a record stuck on repeat.

Later, they snuck away from the reception to see the stars together, and once they were alone again, Bob brushed his lips against hers in a kiss. It was gentle at first, but had a hasty graduation in intensity and desire. During this time, no one else existed in their strange, delightful world except for them. During this time, Linda was the one thing that made sense to him, the one thing he knew he would never doubt in his life. His hands ran through her ebony strands, and her slight shivers in response rewarded him. His lips parted a bit as some shivers flew through him as well. Emotions of every kind were swirling within him as if he was stirring a bowl of curry. Some emotions he couldn’t quite place, but all of them, he wasn’t aware he could feel.

Once they separated at last, he said, breathless, “You’re incredible, Lin.”

“You are too, Bobby.”

She gave him a swift peck on the cheek, and he could feel his face warm like a furnace. He was relieved to not be putting so much stake in this wedding anymore. His wife had allowed him to enjoy the celebration and had even learned a few things herself. But when it came to learning, Bob knew he would never stop learning things from Linda.

[the-widow-sisters]

Can you please do “I think the power’s out” with Carol and Darcy. I think anyone would use Carol as a glow stick, and this scenario seems funny with these two.

A/N: Thank you so, so much for this request! Carol and Darcy are such a crazy combo and I love writing them 😂 Carol is definitely everyone's personal glow stick/flashlight 🤣

I hope you enjoy! 🥰

Word Count: 1.5k+

   “So why exactly do you need me here again?”

   “Shh! I’m trying to concentrate,” Darcy instantly interrupted Carol, attempting to avoid losing focus on her current train of thought as she typed quickly at her report.

   The blonde let out a deep breath, and Darcy could hear her standing up from her office chair where she had been leaned back.

   “And let me reiterate. Why exactly do you need me here if you just want silence for your concentration or whatever?” Carol questioned, approaching Darcy from behind as she craned her neck and tried to get a better look at what she was doing.

   Earlier that evening, Darcy had asked Carol to join her while she worked, and since Carol had gotten there, Darcy had barely spoken at all. She had been mostly busy, but she had asked Carol to come in there with her because Kate was with Cassie and Darcy was truthfully a little lonely. She, of course, had not told Carol that, but as the blonde grew more fidgety, she realized that she was going to have to admit to her true reasoning.

   Darcy let out a sigh, pausing for a moment and accepting the risk of losing her focus as she looked over at Carol.

   “Look, I don’t know, okay? I guess I just wanted you to be here with me. There’s not a soul around and it gets super quiet around here at night,” Darcy confessed, trying to avoid using the exact words that involved the root words of lonely or alone.

   To Darcy’s surprise, after a moment of silence, Carol placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently.

   “Don’t worry, Lou, I’m here for you as long as you need me,” Carol assured her, and Darcy smiled softly, unable to help the warmth in her chest.

   After a moment, she cleared her throat and refocused on her work. Carol remained standing there as she watched, allowing her hand to fall away from Darcy.

   “But you’re definitely right about it being quiet at night. It’s like a graveyard in here after hours,” Carol stated with a chuckle.

   Darcy opened her mouth, starting to reply, but it was then that there was a sudden surging sound. Following that, there was an immediate quiet and everything went dark, the lights going out.

   Darcy froze, her eyes widening just a bit as the holographic computer attached to FRIDAY went dark. Carol was still behind her, and Darcy could feel her presence where it had been before the lights went out.

   “I think the power’s out,” Carol finally declared in a much too obvious statement, her voice somewhat quieter than usual.

   Darcy almost snorted in reply to the blonde’s attempt at humor, but she held back. Something about the darkness and complete dead silence had an effect that made the normal volume of voices and sounds seem too loud.

   There were a few seconds of silence with Darcy and Carol just standing in the dark until Darcy cleared her throat, turning her body in the direction that she could feel Carol’s breaths falling upon her.

   “Well?” Darcy cued, waiting not so patiently for Carol to take action. Carol was quiet for just a moment before responding to her.

   “Well what?” Carol’s voice sounded uncertain as if she did not see the clear course of action as plainly as Darcy did.

   “Well, isn’t it time for you to just… like light up a fist or something so we can see?” Darcy told her, reaching out as she took hold of Carol’s arm. She shook it a little in an attempt to persuade her, the entire thing feeling like she was shaking a faulty flashlight.

   Carol let out a bemused huff.

   “Just because I light up doesn’t mean I’m your personal flashlight,” Carol tried to tell her, and Darcy knew that the blonde was just playing it difficult because she was likely embarrassed that she had not thought of it first.

   There were a few moments of silence, Darcy knowing that she had won. It was just a matter of time before Carol decided to give in.

   Suddenly, the room lit up, Carol’s body glowing with that familiar golden shine.

   “Pleasure doing business with you, ma’am,” Darcy told her, and Carol huffed, rolling her eyes good-naturedly as Darcy led the way to the center of the compound where the power core was and the backup power sources.

   It was truly a shock that the backup power had not come on, and it made Darcy wonder what was going on that could cause the backup power to shut down as well.

   “It’s kind of creepy in here with the dead silence and everything,” Darcy pointed out, and Carol nodded along with her.

   “The fact that it’s in the middle of the night doesn’t help things,” Carol acknowledged.

   “See, the crazy thing is that the backup power should’ve came on. Something serious or completely out of the ordinary would have to happen to get it shut down, too,” Darcy explained to her, and Carol furrowed her brow, seemingly thinking it through.

   “Let’s… Just be on guard,” Carol finally replied, and Darcy was surprised at the fact that Carol seemed actually concerned about this in a manner that related to personal safety. Needless to say, that did not leave Darcy with a good feeling.

   Darcy swallowed a bit, keeping her head about her as they headed through the door to the power core.

   Carol shined the light in there carefully, looking around as she took in the place. There was an air of uneasiness between them as Darcy softly shut the door. They both looked around, Carol’s body lighting the room softly as they moved further in.

   For all practical purposes, it did not appear that anything was wrong. However, there was an ominousness in the room that was undeniable.

   “Is it just me, or do you have the feeling that something’s in here with us?” Darcy questioned, and Carol hummed noncommittally.

   Darcy glanced at her, trying to discern the meaning behind her expression. Carol seemed almost less than perfectly at ease herself, and it left Darcy feeling extremely on-edge. If the strongest, most powerful being in the universe was nervous, Darcy was definitely scared.

   There was a strange noise not too far from them, and Darcy stiffened. Carol turned toward it, and since Darcy was the one in front of Carol, she hesitantly continued to walk, trying to continue on as if nothing had happened. Carol remained close behind her, the both of them not speaking as they remained on high alert.

   Darcy crept forward, and as she noticed another sound around the corner, she looked in the direction of the disturbance. Carol’s light was close behind her, so it illuminated the area, and as the light came in more strongly, Darcy instantly felt terror rising in her chest and grabbing her throat in a chokehold.

   She only managed to catch sight of slimy tentacles and terrifying, glinting eyes, and that was all it took for Darcy to completely flip out.

   Darcy let out a high-pitched squeal and Carol flinched as she instinctively grabbed Darcy to try to shield the brunette from whatever was about to attack. Darcy shut her eyes tightly, tensing up as she prepared for Carol to blast whatever she had just seen into oblivion.

   However, to her shock, that was the last thing that Carol did. Carol released her and as Darcy risked opening her eyes to see what was happening, she spotted Carol approaching the creature with her hands on her hips.

   “Goose, what are you doing?!” Carol scolded.

   Goose sucked his giant tentacles back into his mouth, withdrawing them as he looked at Carol innocently. Darcy instantly recognized Carol’s insane cat from her previous meeting with the animal, and she let out the breath that she had not realized she had been holding. She held her chest, her hand over her heart as she tried to calm herself.

   “You almost gave Lou here a heart attack,” Carol told him firmly.

   Carol scooped the creature up into her arms, and Darcy looked at her as if she had completely lost her mind. She shook her head, trying to regain some semblance of calmness once more after the giant fright that the cat had given her.

   “Look, I like cats, too, but your cat,” Darcy trailed off, shaking her head as she breathed deeply. Carol just looked at her with a raised eyebrow as she just barely smiled.

   “Your cat’s enough to make a crazy cat lady turn into a dog person,” Darcy informed her, and Goose instantly hissed. Darcy flinched, and Carol petted his head comfortingly.

   “Now, now, buddy, don’t worry. She doesn’t mean it really,” Carol assured him from where he was resting in her arms and he settled a bit, his eyes still glaring a little in Darcy’s direction as he pouted in her arms.

   Darcy groaned before turning her attention to where Goose had just been. Carol’s body was still lit up so she could see what was there.

   To her horror, there were wires scratched and partially eaten from where Goose had set loose those disgusting tentacles.

   Carol followed her gaze, and Darcy groaned deeply and unhappily, knowing what a huge mess this was going to be to even begin to try to fix. Darcy shook her head, speaking up before starting to try to salvage it.

   “I think I’m officially a dog person now.”

   Carol just laughed.

[alltimefail-sims]

OKAY SO LITTLE UPDATE AND SCATTERED THOUGHTS ON THE NEW EP

It turns out that removing 95% of your mods will improve the game's overall ability to run. Not shocking, but it's definitely a thing lol. I've also learned that some mods, while amazing conceptually, will probably not be added back into my game. This isn't on the modders: some mods are just so complex that I honestly can't keep up with them and therefore can't enjoy their features to the full extent. I do miss my custom recipes, wonderful whims, and a few lumpinou mods though (but that's really it so far).

I also removed all my custom sliders because I have no idea what is broken and what isn't at this point. Shocked to say I don't miss most of them, so I think it might be time I clean that folder out. I did, however, miss my presets!!! Especially body and mouth presets! Likely gonna tidy up those folders and then add those back in.

Kijiko eyelash remover seems to be working perfectly fine in my game, so if you use that one you are probably good to go.

The new pack's CAS items are good! I don't think I'm going to use a lot of it outside of sims in Tomarang, but that's okay. As of right now I am not planning to do an in-depth review of the CAS items because I pretty much just feel "fine" about all of it across the board: I don't hate anything but I'm not absolutely in love with anything either. Idk if I'm just feeling this way or if others are as well, but it seems like a lot of the items (especially the hairs) aren't really new and they're just modifications of things we already have... but that could be just me. I will say the cute dress with the slit up the side... chef's kiss. Needed more swatches though!

One unexpected item that I did love was the tea kettle!! I'm never buying a tea magic brewer or tea pot ever again. I never realized how badly I needed the ability to only make one cup of a tea/hot chocolate/coffee at time but it has been a game changer. I don't have much to say about the build/buy... it's all really nice. 🤷‍♀️ Wish there were more items that really stood out, but for the most part it's all just good, simple pieces with a few beautiful wall hangings (nice posters, a few good plants, love the baskets, standing toilet is a nice addition, adore the plastic garden chairs, etc.). Functional radiators, water tanks, etc. were fantastic additions with this pack and I would have been happy if they were just decor tbh (and was expecting them to be) but the fact that they aren't makes me very happy. Compatibility across packs is done far too rarely, so I'll let the sims team have this one crumb of a win.

I'm still testing this pack out so gameplay features are being dicovered bit by bit. Haven't ran into some of the big bugs people have been having, but I'm still early in the save and playing as a tenant (I stand by the fact that I have 0 interest being a property owner). The tester sim I made (Riley, she/they) vibed so hard with Vanesha Cahyaputri. Like the two of them have "amazing compatibility" and had full bar friendship almost instantly and I did not make Riley with any partner in mind... I didn't even know Vanesha was a canon lesbian! But they haven't had a single negative interaction soooo brb I'm on my way to make her over ASAP because I loooooovee a good sapphic friends to lovers arc. 😂

Lastly: I have some asks in my inbox. I swear I'm not ignoring you if you've messaged me, it's just been a chaotic few days as December is always so busy. I will answer them as soon as I can! Until the holidays are over I'll probably be posting sporadically! I'm still going to be here, but I'm enjoying just playing the game without any pressure to post about it.

Also, with updates breaking cc and sliders like crazy, it's unlikely I'll be sharing any sims outside of sim requests for a while. I'll still crank out builds, happily chat about my OCs, and reblog other people's content on here. For now I plan to just enjoy my time with my family and play the game stress free! ❤

Okay bye now!

[nightmare-dreamt]

Hello! If you have the time can I get a matchup please? For twst, mha and hq!! Thank you❤️ I'll try to keep it brief to save your poor eyes from straining too much 😂

physical: im a tall bean hehe, about 6 ft tall and curvy! I have curly long hair to the middle of my back and cat eyes. (I don't really care about height so someone shorter is okay with me, so long as they are okay with my height too ☺️)

personality: im the funny friend but also the mom friend lol. Everyone comes to me for advice and to have a good time. I can be a bit bashful but nothing a bit of ice breaking cant fix. I'm extremely affectionate and love to love lol also i can be a bit playful!

hobbies: im into art, particularly digital , sculpting and painting. I really like singing!

likes: i like relaxing and peaceful atmospheres. As much as i like to have a good time with my friends, i really enjoy coming home at the end of the day and relaxing/winding down

Thank you again- ive been reading through all the matchups you did so far so im excited for mine! Have a great day 😊

Matchup for Anon!

Twisted Wonderland: Ruggie Bucchi

From the looks of it, you guys have similar personalities that range from being cheerful and a little mischievous/playful. From my point of view, I think people who have similar personalities tend to be more connected and share more interests with each other having a stronger relationship.

During the weekends when the two of you aren't in the mood to do much or interact with people, a day of relaxing is what you both need. You guys remain in bed, still in your pajamas watching some new movie while cuddling close with each other. When you fall asleep on him, all he'll do is watch your sleeping form, softly breathing with your eyes fluttering closed.

Mha: Momo Yaoyoruzo

You guys had similar friend groups and both were marked as the mom friends, always being there for the group and each other when needing advice or some help: When Momo doesn't know when to do something and can't make a decision for herself, she'll come to you for help. When she gets nervous as well, one trip to your dorm immediately makes all of her nerves go away.

Affection isn't something she thinks is important in a relationship, but it is something she would like to be in one. From hugging to holding hands, she is fine with all of it as long as it doesn't get in the way of her studies. On four guys day off, she'll take the two of you out to the town and the two of you will walk around holding hands or standing close to each other, embracing the others warmth.

She is a big fan of creativity, especially art. When she sees art she is immediately invested wanting to know everything about it. Art is definitely a passion of hers enjoying all sorts of pieces even the ones that are painted or drawn.

Haikyuu: Nishinoya Yuu

At first, he was jealous of your tall demeanor but within time he learned to get along with you and love your height, thinking that it was super cool. He's definitely one of those guys who grabs a chair just to be the same height or even taller than his partner. One time, the two of you were at an amusement park when he was stopped in line for a roller coaster to be asked if you were riding with him just like they ask little kids who are too short to ride some of the rides. He was embarrassed after that.

The two of you are always joking or playing around with each other, either teasing the other person or making a joke that you guys thought was funny. There have been a couple of scoldings when the two of you were off class, but your laughter was always hard to keep in and always seemed to find a way out when around him.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Locking up Cherie when she's pregnant sounds like a recipe for disaster because how many times do you think Anthony will walk into their bedroom and she's just doing something dumb like standing up on a chair to look at the top of the armoire because 'I've never seen this side of it, Anthony.'

Or 'of course I can jump in my delicate state, look! See, nothing- are you alright?'

Anthony is losing his mind, he adores her but she's driving him insane, he might just die before meeting his child. He decides to work strictly from home and keeps his study and bedroom door open and tells staff to pass by every five minutes to see what she's doing.

One day the doctor comes over, "well everything seems to be perfectly well, my Lady. I'll just take my leave and see you in a week. Oh, before I go, take this, Lord Bridgerton."

"A calming drought? Do you think this will make her-"

"It's not for your wife, it's for you. I appreciate the business but please stop hounding my office."

Oooooh-

This is such a good point! 😂

Locking up Cherie when she's pregnant sounds like a recipe for disaster because how many times do you think Anthony will walk into their bedroom and she's just doing something dumb SO MANY TIMES-

Sooo so many times for sure 😂❤

Anthony is losing his mind, he adores her but she's driving him insane, he might just die before meeting his child. He decides to work strictly from home and keeps his study and bedroom door open and tells staff to pass by every five minutes to see what she's doing He would definitely do that?! 😂 It will be the most stressful months of Anthony's life, because she will absolutely refuse to listen to anyone, insisting she can just do everything she used to before she got pregnant 😂

THAT DIALOGUEEE! 😍❤ I love it so much, and it would totally happen 😂 And if Cherie were there, she would be nodding and go like,

"He has a point."

"What?"

"You do send for the doctor a lot Anthony."

"Which I'm grateful for of course, my lord, but..."

"I send for him because you refuse to rest!"

"See? This is why you need the calming draught."

"And you don't?"

"I'm very calm."

"I would be calm if you were."

"Well I'm calm about this pregnancy, you on the other hand act as if I could break any time."

"You were climbing a ladder to see if the book you were looking for was on the top shelf of the library the other day-"

"My lady you shouldn't..."

"I wanted to read a book, simple as that."

[heidithriel]

Forgot to post my thoughts on the first episode. Doing it before I see the second ep tomorrow.

This is literally just copy and pasted from my notes

I don’t want to set the world on fire. I just want to start a flame in your heart! Beautiful song to start us off.

Crusher! Absolute badass!

Laris! Beautiful as ever! I actually kind of love her and Picard’s relationship!

The ol communicator chirp 😱🥰

Laris sitting barefoot, rugged up in front of the fire. Just cozy vibes.

I’ll save you a seat = please come back to me

M’talas Prime

District Six.

Not a place Raffi should be. Drugs and booze. Definitely not a place a recovering addict should be running an undercover mission. Just hope her resolve is stronger than the pull of those old feelings.

Gosh Raff can act. I just hope it’s all an act

My girlfriend left me… 😭 better not be coming from true facts

The switch back to Starfleet Intelligence Officer. Commander Raffi Musiker

Wooo what a switch!

Requesting a debriefing… and more money.

Drop the drugs Raff! Yes good girl!!

Captain Shaw

He’s not a friendly face. The first officer, on the other hand, I’ll think you’ll recognise.

This is Seven of Nine—

Commander Annika Hansen, sir.

Captain Shaw prefers that I use “Hansen,” Admiral. - and my hatred of Shaw begins.

Why don’t your do us the honour, Commander Hansen?

Engage.

She’s literally sitting in the chair exactly how Captain Janeway used to sit 😱

Also Shaw just eating without everyone even though he asked them to dinner… rude.

This man is so rude.

Seven covering for Picard 🥲

Also even just pushing around her food… did she actually eat anything? Two tiny mouthfuls. Also mainly using her non implant hand. I’m sure he’s been so rude to seven about her implants. I already hate him.

Your loyalty lies with this ship. Not to old friends, former ex-borg.

That’s enough captain. - even riker standing up for her.

Operation: Daybreak

Who is her handler? Weird.

… you have no idea how hard it is to be in this world.

You are a warrior! Yes you are Raffi!

The bunk beds 😂😂

Seven to the rescue!

It’s how I speak to a friend!😂

Ranger seven did have better outfits 😂

Janeway mention!!! They convinced her to join starfleet.

She struggling because she’s missing her girlfriend and shaws a dick.

Thank you, Seven!

Using her preferred name. That’s the way it should be.

I like that Seven!

This was you! Like no duh it was her.

Shaw reaming her out in front of the bridge crew… yeah that’ll in still confidence in everyone.

Raffi seeing all that death and destruction and being just unable to stop it. My gosh that would’ve rocked her to the core.

Episode two here we come.