#< make sure to block the not culture tag if you wish not to see this kind of post@

[sencrose]

-- SAPPHIRE PASSION

pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader

tags: dubcon, extremely dubious consent?, idol AU, object insertion, pain, coercion, praise, masturbation, fingering, creampie

wc: 5.1k

a/n: i'm taking notes from underground jp idol culture, if you have any questions feel free to ask (would love to talk more about it despite my pretty shallow knowledge, i am begging actually). in short: chekis -> polaroids, oshi -> fave/bias, oshikatsu -> showing support for your fave. ao3 link with alot more notes here

summary: you're too eager to please, and Satoru's all too willing to take advantage.

Sometimes you wish you had a more socially acceptable hobby. It’s hard maintaining friendships when your days are constantly blocked out by concerts, when you spend all your money on chekis and oshikatsu goods. Whenever you try to explain, you’re met with looks of disgust and snide comments about how you’re throwing money into an endless pit.  

In terms of romantic prospects, it’s not like you can invite anyone over to your apartment either, cramped and covered in a plethora of merch that most people would find strange at best and downright creepy at worst. But that wish washes away as soon as you step to the front of the line.

”Oh look who’s back! How have you been?” Satoru beams with a smile that puts the sun to shame.

”I’m doing great, how are you?” you greet back, handing him your ticket.

“I’m doing great as well!” He gestures to the staff member to get ready to shoot. 

”What kind of pose do you wanna do this time?” he asks. 

”Can we do heart cat ears?”

”Oh, I don’t think I’ve done that before,” his hands press together to show his excitement, “how do you do it?” His eyes peer into yours, sparkling with anticipation.

You bend your index finger while keeping your middle straight and put them on top of your head, two halves of a heart placed to look vaguely like cat ears.

”Aw, that’s so cute! As expected of my cutest fan.” 

He says that almost every time you’ve met him. You’re sure he says it to all the other fans as well, but it never fails to send blood rushing to your face.

The cameraman counts down from three and the two of you get posed up. With a flash, the picture is taken. The film slowly slides out of the polaroid camera, and Satoru swiftly takes it, shaking a paint pen in his other hand to get ready to sign it.

”Did you enjoy the show today?”

”I did!” You exclaim, maybe a bit too excitedly as your voice squeaks unexpectedly. “It was amazing as always.” 

”Aw, that’s great. We’ve been working really hard, I’m so glad you enjoyed it.”  Satoru signs the polaroid while talking, decorating it with hearts. “What was your favorite part?”

“I don’t know, everything was so great…” you hesitate, attempting to collect your thoughts. Your nerves creep up on you, and you curse how this happens no matter how many times you’ve done this. Satoru simply nods to show he’s listening as he continues signing the polaroid.

“T-the new stage outfits are so gorgeous and they really make you shine,” you pause, trying to think of the other highlights of the night, hands gesturing in an attempt to expel your nervous energy, “but I didn’t expect you guys to perform the new single so soon, so that was a really pleasant surprise.”

“I’m glad you had such a fun time.” Satoru responds, finishing signing the polaroid with a dramatic flick of the wrist, signaling that your time together is coming to an end.

”I’ll be here to cheer you on for all your future work as well!”

“I’ll be looking forward to seeing you then!” Satoru holds the polaroid gingerly, blowing on it to aid the drying paint. “Now remember, be careful, hold the picture by the edges so you don’t smear the paint.” 

“Of course.” You grab hold of the picture, holding it carefully by the edges as he’d demonstrated. 

“See you next time! Thanks for all your support!”

”See you next time!” You wave back. You take in the view of the polaroid, slowly developing, the smiles of you and your oshi permanently encapsulated in the thin film. Just looking at it puts a cheesy grin on your face as you make your way out of the venue.

After the paint has had ample time to dry, you place the picture in your wallet, in the transparent slot that’s usually reserved for your ID. This is more important anyways.

---

You must be losing your mind. There’s no way this is real.

You were adjusting all of your chekis, moving them between your mini photo albums. The most recent polaroid had something written on the back:

Text me sometime? xx-xxxx-5429

After finding this hidden message, you dug through the rest of the chekis you’ve collected over the years, only to find nothing. It’s just this one. When did he even get the chance to write this?

You can’t help but burst into laughter at the absurdity of it all. Should you even message it? Are you willing to cross that line?

…

You are. You definitely are. 

---

you: hey, is this Satoru?

Satoru, maybe?: depends, is this my cutest fan?

Satoru, maybe?: with the heart cat ears? ♡ॢ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

You slam your phone down on your bed in a panic, as if it’s been possessed by a demon. Your heart races as you grab on to your chest, attempting to inhale deeply to collect yourself before unlocking your phone and typing again. 

you: haha yeah

you: but wait, how do i know it’s you?

Satoru, maybe?: <1 attachment>

Satoru, maybe?: does this prove it?

You open the picture with bated breath only to realize it really is him. It isn’t a picture you recognize from his SNS accounts, considering he barely uploads anything to them. 

you: i guess it does :)

Satoru, maybe?: then i was wondering

Satoru, maybe?: did you wanna go out sometime? 

Satoru, maybe?: my treat of course

Alright, play it cool, take a deep breath. This does nothing to still your racing heart. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, after all. 

you: yes i’d love to!

Satoru, maybe?: awesome! are you free this saturday?

you: yeah i am! :)

Satoru, maybe?: cool, meet me at the station at 2?

you: sounds like a plan 

Satoru, maybe?: alright, see you then :)

you: see you then :)

---

Saturday couldn’t come fast enough. 

You spent all morning agonizing over what to wear, and you can only hope that it was the right choice. You wait anxiously by the station exit, keeping your phone on standby for any incoming texts. 

“Hey!” Satoru approaches you, although heavily obscured. Baggy black hoodie and pants swallow his figure, along with a baseball cap, mask, and sunglasses covering his face. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” He tilts his face down towards you so you can get a look at his eyes, and prove that it is indeed him – not that you need the evidence, you would recognize his voice anywhere.

“Oh no worries,” you smile nervously, noting just how close he is to you, “I just got here.”

“That’s great!” he says, punctuating the end of his sentence with a clap, “Well, let’s get going!” 

“Where are we headed?” You follow behind him, letting him lead the way.

“I thought a cafe would be nice.” He looks over his shoulder to meet your eyes. “You like sweets?”

“I do!”

The two of you make your way to the cafe, engaging in casual small talk along the way. You feel like you’re walking on clouds alongside him, the distance between you so close that his hand occasionally grazes yours.

You find yourself in a quaint cafe hidden in an alleyway. It’s a hidden gem, you’d never find it without his recommendation. A quiet oasis in the middle of a bustling cityscape.

“They have really good pastries here. Feel free to get whatever you want.”

You look into the display case, dozens of artisan pastries and baked goods lined up neatly at your fingertips. 

After a moment of deliberation, the two of you order your food, an array of pastries, along with two coffees showing up at your table shortly after.

“I ordered some extras too in case you wanna try any of them.”

”Oh, thank you.” You reach towards what you assume is a chocolate croissant, ripping a piece off. It has a light crispy skin, melting in your mouth as soon as you take a bite. 

“Wow, this really is good.”

“Right? I love coming here.” Satoru exclaims, taking off some of his layers.

“Are you sure about that?”

”Yeah, don’t worry I come here all the time. Plus,” he says, gesturing to the empty tables, “Nobody’s really around.”

You already knew you were on a date with him, but it feels so much more real when his sunglasses and mask are off. You take in the sight of him and even under the dim lighting of the cafe, his beauty shines, almost blindingly so. You notice yourself staring a bit too long at his face, eyes shifting to the side.

”You can look all you want,” he teases, placing his hands on the back of his head as if he’s trying to show off, “I don’t mind.” 

You bring yourself to look at him again, but he has that award winning smile that has heat blazing a trail to your cheeks.

”So…” you trail off, unsure how to carry on the conversation. It’s one thing when you know you have two minutes in a controlled environment, it’s a whole other beast when you have all the time in the world. Any conversation topic that you’d usually keep slotted in your back pocket eludes you.

“You’re wearing a different outfit than usual. It’s cute.” Satoru picks up where you left off.

“Ah, I guess you’ve only seen me wearing merch at concerts, huh?”

“Yeah, but this is nice too,” he says before taking a sip of his coffee, “‘lets me see another side of you.” 

“I guess we’re both seeing different sides of each other.”

“Am I that different?”

“Maybe,” you pause, a hint of hesitance to your voice, “just a little.”

“What’s so different about me?” he asks, his chin leaning on his hand, tilting his head so he can show off his sharp jawline and the sparkle of his eyes with the sunlight shining through the window. Something about him seems just out of touch, like he’s hiding behind a mask. That said, it’s a beautiful mask.

“I’m not so sure,” you answer honestly. If you really put your head to it, he’s every bit as charming now as he is when he’s performing. Maybe even more so, but you’re not sure you have the guts to confess that. 

“You wanna know what I think is different about you?” he asks, his fork cutting a slice into his tart before pointing it at you, like an accusation of a crime, “You seem more nervous than usual.” 

“Am I right?” he asks, his voice dangerously low, before taking a bite of his tart. 

How could you not be? Your favorite idol is on a date with you of all people, and you’re well aware he’s well out of your league. 

“Yeah, you are,” you confess, eyes looking off to the side, unable to meet his gaze.

“Do I get a prize?”

“What do you want?” you ask awkwardly, shifting around in your seat ruminating on the possibilities. 

“What do you think?” He grins, his eyes tracing the features of your face until he lands on your lips. 

This might be the most forward you’ve been in your life. Time feels like it slows as you scoot your chair closer to his. With your eyes closed, you steel yourself, lips pouted, lean forward, closer — this is what he wants, right?

“Ah,” Satoru’s voice breaks your trance, “but I don’t wanna force you to do anything you don’t wanna do, that’s not fun.”

“O-oh,” you collect yourself, plopping back down in your seat a bit too fast, wishing you could curl up into a ball and disappear, “right.”

---

You messed up.

You wouldn’t be surprised if he just ghosted you after this. Maybe the rest of the date went fine, you’re not sure, too preoccupied with the embarrassment hanging over your head. Why did you try to kiss him?

The jingle of the door notes your departure and interrupts your spiraling thoughts as the two of you make your way back onto the busy street. The air shared between the two of you is stagnant, a clear cut contrast to the noises of the city. 

“Um, I had a lot of fun today,” you break the silence as you continue walking, “thanks for taking me out.”

“Of course! But it doesn’t have to end just yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe we could head back to yours?” he proposes casually, eyes meeting yours.

You look back at him, eyes nearly bulging out of your head as your grip on your bag strap tightens. Your gaze shoots nervously to the floor, staring at a crushed soda can that piques your interest for the moment. 

“I-it’s a bit messy,” you look back at him only to realize he’s staring right into you, “I don’t know if you would want-“

“I don’t mind a little mess,” he says, casually wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “You’re not scaring me off that easily.” There’s a tone behind his words you don’t recognize, something that doesn’t seem quite as rehearsed or put together like his usual self. You try to find it in yourself to protest, but the words on the tip of your tongue melt away as Satoru looks at you with a burning desire behind his eyes.

“S-sure.”

---

You make your way back to your apartment, with Satoru following right behind you. 

“Make yourself at home.”

Your place isn’t actually that messy, but it is small, feeling even more cramped when it’s covered in an embarrassing amount of merch. You didn’t actually expect him to come over, so you didn’t make any preparations to make your room seem like that of a normal person. Promotional flyers, album posters, concert apparel, smother your walls without a speck of empty space to be seen. 

His eyes are drawn to the display shelf in the corner, fit with several can badges and acrylic stands of his likeness, customized light sticks, and a fan with his face plastered on it. 

“Must be a little weird seeing this, huh?” you attempt to joke, but your awkwardness is too candid to be hidden. 

“I don’t think so. It makes you even cuter in my book.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he states with a conviction that catches you off guard, “you mind if I take a look?”

“Not at all.” You gesture towards the case with your hands and a slight bow, a bit too formally for the situation at hand. “Go ahead.” You swear his eyes sparkle as he looks over the case before settling on one of the light sticks.

“Did you decorate this one yourself?”

“I did! It was before you released official light sticks.”

“That’s so sweet of you. Do you mind?” he points at the stick.

“Sure.” You open the case, reaching for the light before handing it over to Satoru. Once in his hand, he taps on the buttons, cycling through the colors until it turns a beautiful shade of blue.

“Wow, this shines pretty bright.” he comments, admiration glimmering in his eyes.

“I have to show my support from the crowd.” you say, waving your fist as if you’re holding a lightstick in your hand.

Satoru mimics the chant patterns you yell at his shows with an earnestness that has you grinning ear to ear. You can’t help but chuckle as you watch him make a fool out of himself. He really is better suited to be on the stage. After a few moments of waving the light stick around he puts it down.

“God, your arms must be tired after doing this the whole show.” he says, holding onto his shoulder as he stretches. 

“I’m pretty used to it. If anything, it’s a great workout,” you say, raising your arm to flex the less than impressive muscle, “and you’re working out way more than I am!”

“Well with fans like you, I gotta be able to keep up.”

Before you know it, his face hovers dangerously close to yours. Your eyes meet his, an unreal crystalline blue you’ve never seen this close. His hand brushes against yours, fingers gently slotting into yours. His other hand caresses your chin with gentleness you’ve only dreamt of. Satoru brings his face towards you, sealing your lips with a kiss. The scent of vanilla and cardamom fills your lungs, a stark and welcome difference from the sweat and stale odor of the venues you usually see him in. 

It’s just a kiss, but you can feel yourself getting lost in his lips, heat building in your body as you press into him. He presses further into you with a fervor that overwhelms you as he wraps his hand around your waist. His kisses become more intense, like rain clouds swirling into a storm, asking, demanding for an entrance you’re all too willing to give him, parting your lips. The taste of coffee and sugar dance on his tongue, intoxicating like a spell, pulling you in further. Everything about him is overwhelming, the way his body is pressed flush against yours, his grip around your waist, how he maneuvers you closer to the foot of your bed until you fall gracelessly onto it. Satoru hovers above you, toned arms on either side of your head, white strands framing his face, eyes filled with lust. 

“Could you do something for me?” The question is simple enough, but you sense something darker behind his words. You’re not sure what you’re getting yourself into, but after that debacle at the cafe, you’re far too eager to please, to make amends in any way you can.

“Y-yeah.” 

“Show me how much of a fan you are.”

He places the penlight in your hand, wrapping his fingers against yours. His hand guides you to lift the hem of your skirt, the light now pressing against the fabric of your underwear.

“Would you do that for me?” he asks, sultry and sweet. 

Your breath catches in your lungs, face burning as if your cheeks are flint and he’s lit a match under your nose. The beat of your heart rings rhythmically in your ears, as you question if you heard his proposition correctly. Is he asking what you think he’s asking?

“I-I haven’t done anything like this.” you say, not exactly answering his question, hoping he accepts your answer. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll guide you every step of the way.” His fingers hook into the side of your underwear, sliding up and down your slit. “I’ll even help you get started.”

You’re at a loss for words, nerves paralyzing your tongue, only able to give him a shy nod. 

He continues playing with you, fingers finding your clit and drawing languid circles that are just a bit too slow. An unfamiliar tension grows in your core, begging for release.

“You really are my cutest fan.” he whispers in your ear, honey dripping off every word.

His finger teases your hole, slowly inserting to a shallow depth before taking it out. Your muscles squeeze in anticipation only for him to play with your entrance, rubbing against your folds before entering you again. Your hole envelops his finger as he pushes it in. He starts with a curl, his finger digging around as if he’s searching for something. Within a moment, he’s pressing against the spot that has you leaning into him, chasing for more. 

You can’t keep your satisfaction hidden, low gasps spilling from your lips as you realize your hips are bucking into him. His fingers build a steady pace, and you meet him there, desperately humping into his touch. 

“So needy, huh?” he teases before inserting another finger into you. It slides in without any resistance, a testament to your arousal. 

A warmth builds in your body, your breathing labored as he has his way with you. You melt under his touch, like putty in his hands. It’s a wasted effort to keep your voice back, volume rising as you bite back on your hand.

Satoru pauses for a moment, fingers slowly exiting as he admires your arousal on his hands. He reaches out for the penlight, bringing it towards your hole. The plastic presses uncomfortably against your slit, collecting your slick he slides it up and down your lips. Your heart feels like it’s beating in your throat, and a twinge of fear hits you when you realize you’ve never had something so large inside you. 

“S-Satoru, I’m not sure about this.” You hold his wrist firmly, an attempt to have him pause.

“Don’t worry, it’ll feel really good, I promise.” Satoru ignores your grip, slowly pushing the light stick into your hole, the object feeling foreign inside of you. The stretch is uncomfortable, cold unfeeling plastic separating your walls. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, or the intrusion inside your body, eyes darting across the room to look at something, anything else — a daunting task when his likeness is plastered all over the walls. 

“Just like this.” He brings your attention back to him, patient hand holding onto yours, gripping you as he slowly fucks you with the light stick. Your pussy envelops the light, blue sheen disappearing as he pushes it in more. With every thrust, you can see your arousal glossing the surface of the light stick. You don’t recognize it as the object of your affection, custom made for him. It’s molded into something else altogether, a vessel solely there to deliver a hot tension to your core. 

The discomfort from the stretch slowly dissipates, a flare of pleasure building in its place. It starts to feel less foreign as it warms up to the temperature of your insides. Satoru starts to pick up the pace, lewd squelches escaping your cunt with each pump.

“You’re doing so good for me,” he coos. His lips graze the nape of your neck, a subtle lick to test the waters, earning a high pitched squeal that comes out more like an excited moan. You feel him grin against your skin, kisses tracing a line towards your shoulder. You can’t deny yourself the heat that builds in your core, the way your breath hitches in your chest with every kiss, every drag of the light stick.

“Show me how good you feel.” His eyes watch intently as his hand lets go of yours. You continue fucking yourself with the light stick, free hand rubbing circles on your clit, desperate to soothe that building ache for release. Satoru watches intently, his hand stroking himself through the fabric of his pants. 

Heat rises in your face, in disbelief that you’re doing this in front of him — but he’s getting off on it too, a blush painting his face as he unbuckles his belt and frees his cock from his briefs. Satoru lifts the hem of his shirt before biting onto the fabric, revealing muscles you’ve only seen on stage in fleeting moments of fanservice. Even from those short glimpses, you knew he had a well-maintained physique, but it’s much more sinful when it’s mere inches away, for your viewing pleasure alone.  There’s something arousing about watching the image of your picture perfect idol falling apart as he loses himself in the throes of passion. He moans under his breath, desperate for release as he strokes his cock harder.

The view’s enough to send you over the edge, waves of pleasure washing over your body as you gush over yourself, walls fluttering and clamping onto the illuminated plastic. Satoru’s close behind you, soft moans escaping him as he cums, hot ropes of semen covering your pussy.

You’re barely able to gather yourself, chest rising and falling at an abnormal pace, a sheen of sweat covering your back, causing the fabric of your shirt to cling to you. Aftershocks of your pleasure shoot through you, phantom spasms clamping to the intrusion inside your cunt. Your walls clings to the light stick, feeling a bit of resistance as you pull it out. Your muscles shiver at its absence, core aching at the emptiness. The light flickers before turning off permanently. Guess it wasn’t waterproof.

Satoru chuckles as he collects himself, still out of breath from his orgasm. “Wow, you actually did it. Maybe the rumors about my fans are true.”

“What rumors?”

“They’re sluts.”

His words deliver a sobering realization that brings you down from your high and back to reality. Your face twists in embarrassment, blood rushing to your cheeks in a wicked heat. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart, you’re the first,” he purrs low, kissing the nape of your neck. You’re not sure you can believe him. “And for what it’s worth, I really enjoyed it.” 

“Look what you did to me,” he teases, stroking his hard cock, already raring to go. “Gotta do something about it, yeah?” His cock presses against your slit, slowly humping into it, his pre and your juices mixing together. The stimulation so close after your orgasm makes you shiver.

“You’ll do it for me, right?” His head tilts inquisitively as the tip of his cock hovers over your hole, moments away from penetrating. The size of his cock strikes fear in your chest. Even compared to the light stick, you can tell you’ll struggle to take him in. You’re not sure if you’re ready for something like this, but when he asks with that honeyed tone dripping from his words, you feel charmed to say yes. You want to make him feel good too, giving another hesitant nod blessing him with the permission he craves.

“Good girl.” With a swift thrust, he forcefully pushes himself inside you, an uncomfortable stretch building into a harrowing pain. Of course a light stick doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing. Everything about it is just too much. There’s just too much resistance, too much of him inside of you. You struggle to take him in as he presses in further, holding your breath in hopes of a relief that never arrives – just a fullness you’ve never experienced before. A pained hiss escapes you as he starts humping into you recklessly, air knocked out of your lungs with each thrust, without any regard for your comfort.

“Wait, S-Satoru, it hurts.” You’re barely able to get the words out between pained groans. You attempt to squeeze your legs shut, but it does nothing to soothe the pain or slow Satoru’s pace.

“But you’re making me feel so good.” He spreads your legs apart further, fucking you with slow but hard strokes. His hands grip onto your inner thighs, using it as leverage to push himself deeper inside you. The slap of skin only gets louder, a pain striking in your core as he hits your cervix. Any attempt to drive your attention away from the pain fails, only leading to your hands gripping onto the sheets, knuckles turning a blistering white. The cool and collected facade of your idol fades away to dust. You don’t recognize the man in front of you, all greed and desire, rutting into you searching for his own high.

”Satoru, p-please, it’s too much!” you plead, hand momentarily letting go of the sheets to push against his chest.

”C’mon sweetie, I know you can do it,” whispering in that sweet yet hollow tone that hasn’t left his lips since the moment you met him, not that it does much to soothe. His tongue licks the shell of your ear, a gasp escaping your lips. 

You attempt to power through, biting down on your lip and letting your favorite idol have his way with you, ravaging your pussy like it was made just for this, just for him. Tears swell in your eyes as you try to put on a brave face. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, clenching your eyes closed as you let out choked back sobs.

”Don’t cry, you’re being so good for me,” he says in an artificially sweet tone that now sounds alien, overplayed like a broken record. One hand gently pets your head before gripping onto your hair, only serving as a support for him to push himself deeper into you. 

“You’ll feel real good soon, I promise.” You’re not sure you believe him, not sure you can believe him until his hand makes its way to your aching clit. The graze of his fingers is already enough to have you keening into him. Little shocks of ecstasy shoot through your body as he finally slows down, his hand focusing more on the bundle of nerves. His other hand reaches up to your chest, fingers crawling under the fabric to play with your tits, kneading the flesh before catching your nipple between his fingers. With his aid, your body gets acclimated to his size, the burn from being stretched out subsiding and a dull but undeniable pleasure taking its place.

You don’t recognize this version of yourself, desperate for a high you’ve never even tasted, falling back onto base, primal emotions as you start to match his tempo, pathetically pressing your body into his. You don’t recognize the salacious moans spilling from your lips, the look in Satoru’s half lidded eyes as he watches you give in to your desire. 

”See, what’d I tell you?” he pants into your ear, warmth from his breath sending a shiver up your spine, “feels good, right?”

And you hate to admit it, but he’s right: it does feel good. Better than good even, heavenly. How his length fills you up so deep, the way your cunt anticipates him with each thrust, your walls slowly taking the shape of him. Any words on the tip of your tongue disappear without a trace, head too fuzzy and scrambled to form any coherent thoughts.

The tension in your body comes to a head, body tight as your muscles clamp around his cock like a vice, panting his name with a reverence fit for an idol. Pleasure shoots through every nerve of your body, head light and hazy with bliss as he fucks you through your orgasm. Your hands ball into fists as he teeters the line of overstimulation, a whisper of pain too quiet to be felt before it fades. Satoru’s close behind too, pace erratic as he moans a string of hushed expletives under his breath. He comes with a deep thrust inside you, warm sticky ropes of cum coating your insides.

Satoru takes a moment to catch his breath before removing himself from you. Cum spills out of your hole, and you wince at the emptiness. You both lie on the cramped bed, out of breath, sweat clinging to your bodies. A gentle yet unreadable smile paints his face, and you’re not sure what to make of it. 

“You really are my cutest fan.”

[sugawhaaa]

Introduction⋆.°ᡣ𐭩.𖥔°

✨️Requests✨️

-I accept requests 24/7 but I cannot guarantee when you're request will be uploaded

-I will not write any SA/R4PE prompts but certain fanfics may include mentions of such topics. I will always highlight the warning at the beginning of the fanfic

-I refuse to write smut or create audios for minors

-I personally refuse to write member x member or create audios for member x member prompts. I'm simply not comfortable with it :)

-specific audios will take longer to be uploaded due to the specific requirements (ex:: oral audios)

-I have the right to refuse to write any requests that contain content I'm uncomfortable with :)

🌊Fanfic information🌊

-I currently only write for 5 groups but this may change in the future :) when I stan new groups I wait at least a month before writing fics to make sure I have the best accuracy of their personality!!

-I am constantly writing fanfics and have lots that are finished but may never be posted. If you see old teasers for fanfics and can't find them that is probably because they were left unfinished or unpublished for numerous reasons

-warnings are always listed at the top of my fanfics but if ever miss any feel free to tell me what I've missed

-in multiple-part fanfics, some readers may be reading for purely the plot but the fanfic may include sexual acts throughout. In those cases, I apply smut in the warning tags and include a dotted red line in the writing to indicate where the smut begins and ends.

-the indented section at the top of fanfics includes at least these 3 things. Warnings, (potentially triggering topics and +18 content) genre (tropes and sexual preferences mentioned in the fic) pairing (the characters that are represented in the story) other fanfics may include a synopsis, word count, and special notes for the fanfic such as culture notes or other things that will affect the story that does not fit in any of the categories of the first 3 indents.

💕Interactive information💕

-my content includes +18 topics but that is not to say that minors won't be on my page. I personally don't take responsibility for interaction with minors because I give warnings on all of my +18 content

-this is a safe and brave space. If you feel uncomfortable discussing certain topics in the comments simply avoid conversation with the person making you uncomfortable but if it gets to a severe extent I will block people being unreasonable with their comments

-I choose to not share too much personal information because, in my opinion, yall don't need to know everything about my life outside of writing 💀

-constructive criticism towards ME is okay but if you're criticizing others in my comments or inbox I will block you without hesitation. (For example, if someone requests a fic about a certain sexual preference and you comment on how you think it's weird or hate on them I have no tolerance for this :)

Masterlist (?)

-I created a master list a few months back but unfortunately, multiple links refused to work and after much trial and error I was unable to get the master list working. I then basically gave up and stopped updating it but if you still wanna see it for whatever reason the link is at the bottom of this post

🔍- however if you wish to look for certain fanfics I have written there is a little button at the top of my page with a search marking (🔍) if you click on it you can search any group, member, or fanfic title that I have posted about. Then all the results for your search will come up :)

If you are struggling to find certain posts I have made and you really want to see it throw me a quick message through my inbox or dms and I will try my best to give you the link!! Sometimes though things go wrong and I may not be able to find the fanfic 😬 I try my best tho <3

Masterlist::

Ateez smut audio masterlist

Ateez headcanons/reactions masterlist

[laundrybiscuits]

(wait for the season to come back to me tag)

“We still on for dinner this Thursday, or are you gonna reschedule again? Because I swear to god, Steve, I will break into your apartment and set up camp if I have to. It’s been years. Centuries.”

“It’s been a month, Henderson.”

“I barely remember who you are anymore. What’s your name again? How do I know you? We’re actually very happy with our current cable provider, thanks.”

God, that kid is such an asshole. Steve loves the shit out of him.

“Listen, I’ll see you on Thursday and explain everything, okay? Actually, uh—I’m kinda calling to give you a heads-up. Got some big news, so you should, like…brace yourself.”

Dustin’s quiet for a long, worrying moment.

“Steve. You have got to know that that’s the least helpful thing you could possibly say. You’re not even gonna give me a hint, man?”

“Wish I could. It’s not a bad thing, okay? Just big. Like…Upside Down big.”

“Okay, for my own peace of mind, I’m going to pretend you’re completely overreacting about the fact that you, like, got a dog or something.”

“I’m not—”

“Peace of mind, Steve! See you Thursday at my place! Don’t cancel or I’ll kill you!”

Steve’s left laughing into the dial tone. Honestly, he’d mostly called so Dustin couldn’t complain afterwards about not getting an advance warning. There’s just no way to hint at the whole Eddie thing without Eddie being present and accounted for; it would be the worst kind of cruel.

Steve can’t imagine what he’d have done to anyone who tried to tell him Eddie was alive without any kind of proof. It wouldn’t have been good.

“So we’re telling Henderson on Thursday?” Eddie jostles Steve’s shoulder. Steve thinks he’s been doing that a lot more lately.

“Seems like,” says Steve.

———

They take the train to Dustin’s place in Wilmette as soon as it gets dark out. Eddie’s bundled up in a nondescript hoodie and one of Steve’s denim jackets, looking like every other Chicagoan braced against the cool evening air.

They haven’t been going out all that much. Robin keeps asking if Eddie wants to do any tourist stuff, maybe the museums or something, but he always shrugs off the offers. Steve would’ve maybe expected him to want to get out and explore, now that he’s not cooped up anymore, but Eddie mostly seems to want to sleep, read, and watch TV.

Robin’s been on a campaign to educate Eddie about the ten years of pop culture he missed. “It’s essential for rehabilitation,” she says. Steve is pretty sure it’s just an excuse to make them rewatch all of Robin’s favorite movies, because some of the stuff she brings home was definitely already out in 1986.

Eddie draws the line at letting Robin show him music, though: “Nope, nuh-uh, no freaking way. I wouldn’t have listened to that shimmery synth shit if I’d been alive and free every single day of the last decade, and I’m not gonna listen to it now.”

Steve does have a few metal cassettes, but he feels weird about bringing them out. It feels like he’s crossing a line, somehow—admitting to something. So instead, they’d all traipsed over to the Tower Records a few blocks over, and let Eddie roam around sampling things.

To Steve’s surprise, Eddie hadn’t actually picked up that many metal albums. He'd grabbed the new Accept and some Alice in Chains, sure, but he also picked up Nirvana and Soundgarden. He had gotten into a conversation with a very helpful clerk that ended with the clerk scribbling a number on a business card and handing it over with a grin and a promise to make Eddie try some local act called Wilco next time.

Obviously Steve’s happy that Eddie’s making friends and charming people. He’s legitimately fucking thrilled that other people are finally seeing how great Eddie is, because Eddie deserves that. Eddie deserves the world, and if he wants to date some random clerk, he should get to.

It’s just that if Eddie Munson comes back from the dead to start dating some random clerk, Steve is going to have to go live at the bottom of Lake Michigan. That’s all.

[sangaverage]

About Me I guess

NOT AN RP ACCOUNT/BLOG BUT ROLEPLAYERS AND LIFESTYLERS ARE WELCOME TO VISIT!

that being said, I do post about VTM and VTR on occasion.

Please get yourself an icon and some posts behind you (not likes, though I will see if they are semi consistent) otherwise you may pass as a potential bot and get yourself blocked, thank you

(porn blogs are blocked if it's irl nudity and makes me uncomfortable, I'm all for body positivity but some things I would rather not see grace my dash!

Nsfw text and not real nudity is acceptable but I will block of I feel it makes me uncomfortable!)

I do try to keep it as light-hearted as possible over here! But Things May Happen...

FUNDRAISERS/ COUNTRY AID NOTE:

I currently do not have a job due to my neurodivergence giving me issues with most if not all work environments, Therefore Also, I unfortunately am unable to donate money to any causes or charities. I am sorry about that! do know that I am generally upset about the same things going on as you are! but please please please, do not try to peer pressure me to donate money! Not only that but I don't trust alot of people I don't know on the internet with money because sometimes you honestly cannot tell what is legitimate and what's going to clone your bank information, (Again) be careful folks! It's unfortunate but it does happen and some people are more than happy to take current events as an excuse to swindle the weak or vulnerable!

-First things first despite what you may be thinking I am an adult lol.

-I reblog More than I post usually, But You'll Know Its A post of mine as ill sign off with an Ankh (☥)

-I'm rather eclectic and into many things but this blog is just/Mostly for the Vampyre part. any non vampire, autumn or demonolatry related posts will be marked as "Not vampire related" or if from me titled "not a vampire post..."

-other things include But are not limited to: VTM, VTR, Hardstyle Music, Metal Music, Anything Gothic, Halloween (like all the time lol), Autumn/Fall (its may favourite season), Bats, Crows, Monsters (In general), Video Games, Books (bonus points if there witchy or Vampire), Animal crossing, Monster hunter.

I am a and Accept/Respect:

-Sanguinarian(s)/Psychic(s)/Tantric Feeder(s)

-Nerodivergent person(s)

(Especially anxiety and autistic spectrum)

-A-spec(s) (both Autistic and Asexual, I'm Demi Myself)

-Witchcraft practitioner/ eclectic witch(s)

(but please be mature if it's something you don't practice please That being said however:

PLEASE NO DISCOURSE!

-Demonolator(s)/ LHP Practitioner(s)

-Vulture Culture Collector(s)

I'm not but will accept/respect:

-Lifestyle Vampire(s)

-Any LGBTQ+ that I haven't mentioned yet that is legitimate (No MAPs)

-All Races (this should not have to be said but hey)

-System/DID

I'm not sure about this, but I still like you, You are Welcome here:

-Xenogender/Xenic

-Therian/Otherkin/Alterhumans/ Voidpunk etc

im not sure this blog is the best place for you, but you are welcome to stay if you insist:

-People who aren't into Vampires

(why are you here then lol)

-Roleplayers/Roleplay Blogs/ Kin for Fun

(you are welcome here but bare in mind this blog is serious about its topics, minus the occasional post often VTM, VTR or tagged "just for fun")

-Minors, you are welcome to stay but please be safe!

(I only say this due to some more mature discussions such as Medical Blood consumption Etc)

NOTE 1: I personally see my vampirism as Spiritual as well as a completely normal side of myself, I didn't choose anything, I awakened and this is and always will be me. (your vampiric experience may vary)

I consider myself a "Ronin" Vampyre as I'm not a part of the larger VC (vampire community) due to too much squabbling in most Houses/Groups/Orders or just general disagreement over what that group stands for Vs what I stand for.

I'm not hurting anyone, call it escapism if you wish, don't like it, that's cool you don't have to, just don't be an ass about it.

(I also Have a YouTube, but that is a hobby and does not earn me anything right now!)

NOTE 2: As this is primarily a vampire blog, there will inevitably be some posts that contain Blood, mild gore, written (fake) violence etc! I do apply trigger warnings in the tags As "tw ______" but I shall re-warn you here!

Note 4: I Consider myself semi Antinomian, (definition here) do note that while I may not be a religion you are, I do accept you being that religion (unless its Nazi in any way sorry, I really shouldn't have to mention this) We all have different paths for different reasons, I respect that and so should you!

there may also be the occasional post that I will be unsure of the maturity of... if I feel or deem something is up with the image that certain eyes may not wish to see, I will tag it as "Nsft?"

-End Rant-

I would just like to share (again) that I also have a YouTube, It Has the same name as my blog (SangAverage) And covers stuff on Vampyres and also magick, Mostly from a Sanguinarian and slightly Spiritual Vampyre Perspective as well as somewhat Medsang.

You are welcome to come over and see if it's for you or not (Just pretty please behave yourselves either way! Comments are mostly on but moderated)

Here's your Link: https://youtube.com/@sangaverage-yt?si=1n15zrQiV1seOOJi

Userbox and Divider credits:

-anitalenia

-Sangaverage

-Sangaverage

-Sangaverage

-sangaverage (just for fun lol)

^ icons for my userboxes are Mintaka code and found on SAVCC so credit to them

Don't be afraid to mutual me! I Don't Bite

(at least without Consent)

Thanks for your time See You all Across the veil In The Realm of SangAverage!

Or not whichever!

Enter Freely And of your own Free will!

And Sanguinarians: there's some useful resources for you in a dropdown menu if you go to my actual URL here!

I am trying to make my posts and anything I Reblog more inclusive to those who have a hard time reading/ Cannot read small text/ are visually impaired by adding notes to posts I seem important enough as "Screen reader ID (example text here!)"

☥

[gvtted-ratz]

BEFORE YOU READ:

- Read all tags/ratings if there are any. They are important and give you all you need to decide if you want to actually read. If you do not like the tags/rating, please do not read.

- We ask that anyone who is FEM aligning/identifying to not read our MLM fics. You can still send requests, however, we do not do FEM readers.

- You can find all our works on AO3. Only registered users can view/comment.

- Minors/ageless/blank blogs are not welcome, and you will be blocked. Respect our wishes or you will be blocked. We go through all our likes, followers, and reblogs.

Want to request? Find the rules: here!

Want to see all the fics? Find them: here!

THOMAS

Tom/Thomas x Hacker!GN!Reader

Last Edited: 11/07/2024

TW: mocking, drugging, imprisonment, kidnapping, illegal auctioning, human trafficking

Requested: No.

Word Count: 3,721

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes from gvtted-ratz (writer/creator): Tom, our beloved. There isn’t much, if any, info on him, so we did our best. If you don’t enjoy the headcanons we’ve established here, we don’t mind you clicking off the fic. We do suggest looking up Nazca and its culture. It was pretty interesting to read about.

Notes from @rppik (editor/co-writer): a quote from when I was editing: “Rat, you self-indulgent meta-ass whore, PLEASE”

“I assume this is everything?” You can hear Blue and Red getting shifty at your words. They, as well as you, have been waiting for the introduction to cease to start your biddings.

“That it is, yes! Would my esteemed customers like to let this lowly auctioneer know what goods you wish to purchase?”

Yes, that is the question, isn’t it? Who will you be bidding on to take with you?

》YOU HAVE SELECTED THOMAS 《

“Blue window? Which do you wish to take with you? I’ll make sure to have it all written down!” The Auctioneer asks, motioning towards a metal door. Behind it, you’re sure there’s someone there to take notes of what items are purchased, they will be shipped to, as well as who wasn’t bought.

“Oh! I’d love to have that Thomas boy! I’ll do 140 for him! And perhaps Mason for 250?” Blue’s window lights up. She sounds excited to go first with her purchases. Then again, she always complained when she didn’t get to go before everyone else; better she goes now than later.

“Very well. How about the red window? Whom will you be taking?” The Auctioneer's  facial expression is unable to be seen behind her bandage-like mask, though the way she talks with such joy only highlights how well she is at her job.

“200 on Machete, 340 each for the Goffard boys,” Red says, window lighting up.

“What the fuck! Fuck you!” Derek says, Matt looking just as livid as his brother. Machete doesn’t look to be phased at being chosen by Red; his face stays calm despite this very unlucky situation he’s found himself in.

Those that haven’t been chosen appear to be less tense, relieved to not be bought. On the other hand, of Blue’s selected prizes, Mason looks ready to kill; his eyes looking this way and that, body tensed like a large predator ready to pounce. Tom's widened eyes, however, are shiny with fearful, unshed tears.

It appears Blue wants to have someone she can “put in their place” while also having somewhat of an obedient mutt.

“Green window? Would you kindly tell this lowly Auctioneer your choice?”

“150 for Tom,” your warbled voice makes said man flinch at your words. You can see his clasped hands shaking.

“What! But, Green! I want him,” Blue whines, making a distorted sigh spill from your lips. A few of the products’ eyes have that “oh God, now what” look to them. “200!”

“Nearing your budget. 300,” you retort, no hesitation in your tone. You hear a few huffs from her window, the blue glow only highlighting how spoiled she acts despite her age.

“Fine! I’ll take that dirty cop for 150 then!” You can mentally hear the ‘humph!’ after her words, leading to you to sigh once more. Blue is probably the Bidder you like the least, due to her spoiled tone paired with the inability to actually fight for items she deems worthy of her money. You already know she can’t afford the things she wants, compared to you or Red, that is. How she acts only adds fuel to that raging fire.

“‘Dirty cop!? Who the fuck do you think you are, you stupid bitch!” Said dirty cop is now making a fuss, making you smash your hand into your window to silence him. The rattling directs his gaze to your area while others try to look anywhere but.

“Auctioneer, the bidding is done. I will send you the money as agreed upon, including the extra,” you declare, the modulator only making your voice sound emotionless.

“Oh, yes! Of course! Thank you for joining us here today! As ordered, those who were not purchased will be dropped off in or near their respective towns!” A high-pitched whine rings out as a clear mist fills the room, falling from the spouts attached to its ceiling.

The Auctioneer stands away from the shackled group, seemingly watching on as they yell at everyone around them; cornered animals always tend to lash out when there’s no escape. While they proceed to collapse in heaps on the metal ground below, you, The Auctioneer, and your fellow buyers remain standing; you’re not sure if The Auctioneer has a resistance or a built-in filter to keep out the gas used to put the products to sleep. You do know that the buyers’ rooms have a separate system from the main room, holding its own spouts for the gas in case there happens to be a violent mishap.

Just as quickly as the gas started, it clears just as fast; the spouts no longer whine from releasing the unknown chemicals in the air. Dressed similarly to The Auctioneer, employees of hers enter through the only metal door leading into the room. They grab both the purchased and the unsold, hauling them out for shipment; those that have not been chosen will be carted off as The Auctioneer had stated previously, able to be bought again at a later date. Each of the merchandise will be connected to a drip, keeping them under as they’re delivered to their respective drop-off locations.

You feel a small amount of glee at seeing your chosen target being placed in a wheelchair, IV hooked into the meat of his espresso-brown arm. While he doesn’t know it, he’ll be awaiting your arrival as is per policy; there must be a positive identification of the commodity before the Auction House's job is labeled as complete, with this being a precaution in the case of the delivery being in the wrong area.

“All has been settled, yes?” The Auctioneer’s polite speech forces you to stop staring after your new companion. “Would you kindly wire your payments at this time?” Her customer-service tone hasn’t dialed down nor increased during the entirety of the show’s presentation; it simply remains as prim as possible without grating on your nerves.

“The amount should arrive shortly. Exactly as agreed upon.” You present your burner, clicking the keys to gain access to an offshore account you’ve set up prior to this visit. If one were to try tracking it, somehow getting past your secured firewalls and the encryptions you spent days installing, the trail would only lead to some sap who has a very disturbing interest in illegal images containing unsavoury depictions of people’s mutilated bodies. No skin off your back– literally or figuratively, in this case.

Your distorted-sounding words hold true, as some device beyond the metal door The Auctioneer is standing beside lets out a ding . Hearing it, she glances over at it before nodding, deeming your actions acceptable.

“Thank you, Green. I have hope from the bottom of my heart that your lovely purchase with bear the ripest of fruit for your taking!” You only give her a nod from the glass, knowing she cannot see into it unless you were to talk, forcing the light to shine on your form. You don’t bother to stay any longer, deciding to leave the little boxed room. Likewise, you’d rather not listen to any concerns nor issues the other buyers may have; such instances usually end up in heated arguments or death of said buyer, and you're not particularly interested either way.

With the door closing behind you, another figure dressed like one of the many previously seen employees steps out in front to guide you. There are no words exchanged, the only sounds you hear being that of your own footsteps, paired with your guide’s own muffled breathing through the gauzy wrappings around their head.

Nearing the end of the hallways, the guide opens the dark-wooden door before you, stepping aside to allow you to walk through. Your pace stays consistent, neither slowing nor speeding up. Brick steps turn into a worn gravel path under your shoes as you approach your vehicle. The keys are pressed into your awaiting hand by another member of staff, dressed like the others before them. The rental is easy to gain access to, the engine starting with ease now that you’ve put the key in the ignition. As you drive off, you don’t look back, looking forward to approaching your place of work. You’re sure that by the time you arrive, your chosen prize will be there waiting for you, unknowingly in his sleeping state, of course.

-------------------------------------

The black van parked in front of the dilapidated garage you call your workplace almost makes you chuckle. It’s hardly inconspicuous though the van is needed to transport goods like the one you’ve purchased; it only makes the image of a kidnapping, or even a body dumping event, brighter in your mind’s eye. Maybe if it was part of some sort of amateur fanfiction made by a sleep-deprived author, you’d have thought more about the vehicle’s design or the fact that you’re at a very odd location after visiting a human trafficking auction to purchase someone. As it were, you had better things to preoccupy your mind with.

You park the rental close to the van, exiting it to approach the back of the dark car. The back doors swing open, an employee of the auction house opening them from the inside. They gesture at the incapacitated man, allowing your hidden eyes to glance over his form.

The IV is still inserted in his median antebrachial vein, or the superficial vein of the forearm; it’s one of the most common places one inserts an IV. He’s been strapped down on a gurney, keeping him in place during the entire ride here; if he were to wake up during transportation, he wouldn’t have been able to escape with all the leather straps keeping him held down. The man hasn’t been changed out of the white tank top or blue shorts, glasses still on his face.

With a quick nod at the worker to signal your approval, they start the process of getting him prepped for you. They remove all the bonds, drip taken out afterwards, and have one of the bulkier employees carry him over their shoulder like a sack of grains.

You step to the side, allowing them to exit their van, just to lead them into the dilapidated garage. Rubbish, dust piles, as well as weeds decorate the ground before you. While there is a house attached to this abandoned hole, you don’t use it. The house has more damage to it than the garage itself, all thanks to some squatters; there may have been a few drunk, teenage party animals who pitched in too, though that remains unproven. There’s no use in trying to clean up the rest of the place, the garage being the most stable despite its looks; there’s still electricity running through the place, leading to your computer set-up, including a portable heater for when the nights get a little too chilling.

You motion towards a spot in the corner of the room with a dog bed on the floor to have some cushion against the concrete ground. A few blankets are thrown haphazardly near it, the portable heater pointing towards the corner. Along the wall, there are some old pipes, carrying water to the shower a few feet away.

To you, the place looks more like a basement than some abandoned garage, and you can’t help but think you got lucky when nabbing this place. With it purchased under one of your many aliases, the trespassing has been cut down greatly; a few shots from a hidden gun does wonders on chasing them away too.

The business-casual dressed worker sets your merchandise on the dog bed as you gesture towards said spot, being careful as to not cause any damages. Those who aren’t careful with purchased goods tend to disappear, as is stated in The Auctioneer’s policy; only the best is expected, after all.

With your new companion disposed of in his respective spot, you give the worker a dismissive wave. You don’t have to watch them leave, hearing their footsteps retreat. You approach your desk, pulling open the bottom drawer to find your desired items. Shoving aside a few snacks, you pull out a pair of handcuffs, and a chain hook connected to a heavy-duty chain; the chain gives two feet of length if used correctly. With your items acquired, you kick the drawer closed.

You approach the unconscious man, knowing he won’t be that way for long. You loop the chain around the pipe, using the hook to lock it in place. With the chain secured, you put one of the chain loops in one of the handcuffs, tightening the cuff until you can’t click the metal any farther. With everything now set up, you lock the cuff around your prize’s wrist; it isn’t tight enough to cut into the meat of his wrist, but it will cause bruising if he yanks on it.

Now that your possession is secured, you throw one of the discarded blankets over him in some semblance of care for the man. A ping from your computer notifies you of a possible correspondence. Leaving the man to continue with his rest, you instead place your focus on work. The office chair is pulled out, creaking with your weight as you plop down in it. A click of your mouse causes the multitude of monitors to light up. Your helmet provides cover from the bright lights, the tinted lens serving its purpose well.

The clacking of your keycaps fills the rotting room, replying to messages from clients about any delays or issues they may be concerned about. Other responses are to those like you, sending out warnings on which clients to avoid and what people to not try messing with when it comes to their valuable privacy. A familiar last name comes up in those encryptions, leading to you sending one to those you’ve worked with: Goffard. Auction. Bought. Both. Location Unknown . You knew the moment you heard that last name, it wouldn’t be long before there would be reports in the hidden parts of the web about it.

Father. Killings. Watch out. Another code says, the word of caution making a warbled hum leave you.

Other Buyers. Not User. Safe. That’s your last response, seemingly making the others let up. Perhaps they thought you had bought the men, but with your short messages, their worries are put at ease. You’re sure these correspondences will be sent to the men’s father, only leading him down another path, as two of his heirs are missing. That is none of your concern, however, as people like you are highly sought after. You wouldn’t be surprised if he asks for aid from one of you; he may or may not care for his sons, but he certainly will care for his business and image.

A gasp not far from you alerts you to your captive. You turn to look towards your right, hands not leaving the keyboard. Tom has huddled up close to the pipes, staring at you with wide brown eyes; his pupils seem contracted, merely pinpricks with how he shakes in terror. To see such small pupils almost makes you proud of your apparent ability to intimidate without even trying, though you usually see dilated ones for those in fear. Maybe it truly does just vary from person to person.

“Rise and shine, Sweetheart,” you adopt a mocking tone despite the modulator forcing it to sound monotone.

“How long was I..?” He asks, though it’s more hesitant than anything. You find it cute that he thinks there’ll be some sort of repercussions for possessing curiosity.

“A few hours, give or take. Nearly the entire day, maybe. Then again, it’s hard to tell considering I haven’t kept track of the time,” your insincere chagrin is coated in the surgery sweetness of falsehood; if it had been an actual treat, it would have rotted your teeth out. 

“What do you want from me?” Tom sounds a little more confident with this question; it’s not by much, if you’re being honest.

“Companionship, a pet, someone to complain to, and whatever else I want you to be,” you’re blunt with the answer, no use sugar-coating why you purchased him. “Believe it or not, Tom , it tends to get very quiet here. Unless I’m dealing with a very crass client. Then there’s screaming from them and shit-talking from me.” You put emphasis on his name, showing that you do, in fact, know it. He likely doesn’t even know the half of how much you know about him; the summary The Auctioneer gave you couldn’t cover the array of other things you’ve found out about him.

With some digging, you knew his parents came all the way from the city of Nazca, stationed on the southern coast of Peru, leaving before he was conceived. Following their trail further, you found that his parents now reside in Eatonia, Saskatchewan of Canada. Looking a bit more into Tom himself, you saw that he was born and raised there, only moving to a more university based town after his high school graduation. You did have someone take a few pictures of his dorm in your place; at first, you were unsure if Thomas practiced anything relating to Nazca culture, but the few hand-made pottery and ceramic items placed around show he still has a connection. You also spied a few small plants in his dorm, grown by his own hands, if the dates on the hand-made plant pots said anything about that; there were even care instructions next to each one.

From your own research into Nazca culture, you knew there was an emphasis placed on agriculture as well as an array of crafts like pottery, ceramics, and textiles. Even as a full-time college student pursuing media development centered around sound design, he still has time to stay connected to those before him.

“You won’t be letting me go, will you?” Tom sounds devastated at this revelation, his words rousing you from your silent recollection of your findings on him. At least he caught on quick enough without you having to spell it out for him.

“I wouldn’t buy you just to throw you out. What a waste of money,” your scoff can be heard through the helmet. He looks to be cowed at the sound, making that small bit of pride nestle close to your heart. You look back over at him, watching his shaking form. A loud sigh spills from your lips, catching his attention. “Behave and your little spot will be upgraded. I’ll even let you continue your college courses. Online, of course, and monitored carefully. I don’t need you running off the moment you think you taste freedom.”

Your words seem to be enough to comfort Tom, his eyes shining at the idea of having some semblance of normalcy despite the circumstances, seeming to recognize that this is a far better fate than he might have received otherwise as an unwilling captive.

“I’ll- I can behave! I promise I will!” His eager words make you nod.

“I’ll hold you to those words, Thomas. Remember, I have eyes and ears everywhere . So long as you behave, you’ll get whatever you want.” His nod seals the deal, leading you to go back towards your work. If everything works out, he’ll be more than some glorified pet in this run-down shit-hole.

-------------------------------------

“How was your day out?” Tom sits on your couch, laptop in hand, with notebooks spread across your coffee-table.

“You know how I always complain about my clients, yeah?” You flop down next to him, spreading out on the couch. Ever since you bought him from that auction, he’s kept his word; no running, no sending SOS messages through his email to family or college, or screaming for help when you do take him out of your flat. In fact, you never even had to hurt or manhandle him in any way to keep him from fleeing. Due to this, you’ve kept your word. Instead of that shit-hole of a garage, he’s been moved to your own apartment. From some pet to a possible friend, he’s been living with you for nearly a year now. You buy him whatever he wants, giving him anything he asks for. All he has to do, in return, is stay.

“You did mention this specific one two days ago. Is she complaining again?” He asks, writing some notes down. Your scoff makes him glance at you for a second before continuing with his work.

“More like trying to get me to redo the entire 143-page document I created after saying they wanted every little piece of info I could gather on her target. She says it’s too much, but won’t pay me to cut down and summarize the information.” You adjust yourself so you’re leaning against his side, watching him work. Tom doesn’t even react to your touch as you keep talking. “Like, what do you mean you want me to do more work without being paid for it? That’s not happening. You can find someone else to redo my work if you’re that upset with it.”

“As you said, she can find someone else if she won’t pay you. You did what she asked, so that's on her for giving you the wrong instructions.” There’s a pause as he stops his note-taking. You watch him collect himself as he tries to find the words to express what he wants. “Can I… Go out later today?”

“Take your phone with you,” it’s more of a demand than anything, and Tom knows it. You can’t risk losing him if he does leave. 

“Of course! I… I wouldn’t leave it behind. You told me you have eyes everywhere…” There’s acceptance in his words, knowing that you’d find him no matter what.

“Good. Then you can go out. Make sure to be careful. Worse comes to worst, you’re hurt, and I have to get my hands dirty to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Your hands twitch at the thought of having to take another life to ensure Tom is off limits. You’ve already made it clear within your informant group through a series of warnings and threats.

“And if I’m dead?” It’s asked casually, almost like he expects to die on one of his trips.

“The only way that happens is if I allow it.”

》START OVER?《

[okkotsuus]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ from me, to you

➥ @okkotsuus 500 milestone event

⠀ overview

hello, first of all, thank you so much for reaching this milestone with me; i couldn’t have done it without every single one of you! this truly means a lot to me, i never thought that anyone, much less over 500 people, would enjoy my writing at all.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅. ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

this event is going to consist of a little collection of mini-events! you will have three sections to choose from (you may participate in all of them, but some are single use, or mutual exclusive. it has been extended to last until july 1st, 2023

the first section will be a collection of prompts (creators will be credited), you will pair those up with a character and send it in an ask. i will then write it, to the best of my ability, and publish this answered ask. you may participate in this section with no limit (to the extent of reason).

the second section will be match-ups. for this you have three request formats: you can either send me a little blurb about yourself (hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc), send me pictures of yourself (piccrew or pictures of an oc/self-insert will work perfectly. if you send me actual selfies then i will not post them in the ask, so please leave an @/ so i can tag you with, nobody but me will ever see those pictures.), or you can do both! for this you will select a fandom, that i write for, and send that with the information. you may participate in this section once, mutuals may participate twice.

the third section is love letters, this is mutual exclusive. i recommend you go through the match-ups for this one. if you have received your match-up(s), then i will write from them. if you did not get a match up or wish to have your letter from a different character; then please send the character. it would be great if you could also provide a little blurb about yourself like the match-up one. mutuals will be able to participate in this once.

⠀ rules

above is a brief overview of each event and their most important rules, here will be a more deep dive into the specifics.

⠀↳- section one: prompts -༉‧₊˚✧

⠀you may participate in this section as many times as you wish.

⠀each request may include: once character and up to two prompts.

⠀you may include a vague description of what you’d like to see, but do not get too specific (it gives me writer’s block).

⠀please do not include the following in your request(s): race, gender, physical body, culture, one-shot length, etc.

⠀you may request on or off anon.

⠀↳- section two: match-ups -༉‧₊˚✧

⠀you may participate in this event once, mutuals may participate twice (please send them in different asks).

⠀in your request you must include the following: the fandom (jjk, bllk, hsr, or tokyorev), and something about you (a little blurb, pics/piccrews, or both).

⠀if you include an actual picture of yourself, you have to leave some way for me to tag you (off anon or include an @/), i will not post the ask that has your pictures in it and only i will ever see them.

⠀mutuals may additionally request a drabble, headcanon, or timestamp with their mat-up(s).

⠀↳- section three: love letters -༉‧₊˚✧

⠀this event is exclusive to mutuals, they may participate up to one time.

⠀if you went through match-ups, i will default to that unless you request otherwise. if you got two match-ups, then you must choose which one you want your letter from.

⠀if you choose not to use your match-up, then you must specify the character and fandom you want in your request.

⠀if you did not go through match-ups, please send information equivalent to the one that you must in match-ups, regardless of the fact that you are choosing your character.

⠀you may choose if you want this sent to you publicly (an answered ask on my blog), or privately (dms, discord, google doc, etc).

⠀ template

these are a set of example templates you may use for each section. you do not have to use these, but if you are struggling or just want to make sure you have anything: please use these freely as reference!

⠀↳- section one: prompts -༉‧₊˚✧

“i would like to request (character) from (fandom) with (prompt 1) [if second prompts: and (prompt 2)].”

ex. “can i request nagi from blue lock with angst #5 and angst #7?”

⠀↳- section two: match-ups -༉‧₊˚✧

“i would like to request a match-up for (fandom), here are the details about me: (information/pictures/piccrew/etc).”

ex. “can i request a tokyo revengers match-up, (blah, blah, im so seggsy, blah, blah)?”

⠀↳- section three: love letters -༉‧₊˚✧

“i would like to request a love letter from (match-up choice).”

ex. “can i request a love letter from my jjk match-up?”

OR

“i would like to request a love letter from (character) in (fandom). (information/pictures/piccrews/etc).”

ex. “can i request a love letter from nagi in blue lock, (blah, blah, im so seggsy, blah, blah)?”

⠀ prompt list

this is the list of prompts that can be used for section one, it is very extensive; which is why it is placed last here. all of these prompts come from @mcflymemes , throughout these posts: post-break up , quotes to a lover pt2 , most romantic lines , forbidden love , and sleepover prompts .

⠀ ↳- fluff -༉‧₊˚✧

my heart beats faster when you take my hand.

you know it's you i want.

when i'm with you, the only place i want to be is closer.

this feels better than any dream.

i fall for your smile every single time.

it's so beautiful when you smile.

i knew from the moment i saw you.

over everything, i choose you.

no one compares to you.

i long to hold you in my arms.

i was your exception.

if i had a camera, i'd take a picture of you every single day.

you should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.

you are beautiful without knowing it.

anyone who has seen your smile has known perfection.

all i want is to deserve you. tell me what to do. i’ll do anything you say.

it has made me better loving you.

i find myself choosing you, more and more every day.

i believe in you completely.

you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you.

the first time ever i saw your face, i thought the sun rose in your eyes.

you are, and always have been, my dream.

i love that you are the last person i want to talk to before i go to sleep at night.

come near now, and kiss me.

it’s always better when we’re together.

in your smile i see something more beautiful than the stars.

when i saw you i fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.

you complete me.

i think i’d miss you even if we never met.

i never want to stop making memories with you.

every time i see you, i fall in love all over again.

this isn't a crush. this is love.

you make me happy. that's all that matters.

⠀ ↳- angst -༉‧₊˚✧

i never stopped thinking about you.

i didn't realize how good i had it until you were gone.

what we had was perfect.

i should have begged you to stay.

after all this time? really?

i made a lot of mistakes. i said things i wish i could take back.

i'm not giving up on what we had.

you were really one in a million.

i never fell out of love with you.

you were so good to me, and i blew it.

i really messed things up, didn't i?

i wish i could take it all back.

i've always loved you. always.

nothing feels right since you left.

the sight of you leaving is burned into my brain.

you sound like you're still in love with me.

i never moved on. not for a minute.

it was always you.

that didn't change how i feel.

i'll be better this time. i've learned from my mistakes.

you think you can just walk back into my life and act like nothing happened?

maybe i'm still in love with you.

you're everything to me. you always have been.

i missed you. more than you know.

you weren't there for me when i needed you.

do you still love me?

we both made mistakes.

i never want to let you go. not again.

when you fall in love, it is a temporary madness.

where have you been? i didn't think you were coming.

i waited up all night for you.

you're worth fighting for.

i don't know how much more of this i can take.

i'm not giving up on us.

i saw your letter.

i thought you weren't coming.

you'll see me again. i promise.

do you believe in true love?

i can't keep doing this.

am i worth fighting for?

i've been in love with you all this time.

maybe someday, we'll be together.

i don't know how much more my heart can take.

i'm not ashamed of loving you.

⠀ ↳- suggestive -༉‧₊˚✧

i'm in my bed, you're in your bed. one of us is in the wrong place.

i shouldn't want you this bad.

i wanted your kiss to leave a mark. that's how i knew i loved you.

i want to feel your skin. i want to breathe you in.

let go of your inhibitions.

i always want more with you.

i don't want comfortable. i want passion.

when it comes to you, i don't like to share.

the proof will be my body.

i want you in the worst way.

my passion for you is intoxicating.

i get carried away when i'm with you.

i want someone who will kiss me like it's the only thing keeping me alive.

that does something to me.

i’ve hungered for your touch.

we kiss like we invented it.

you're being too loud! someone will hear!

you should stay here. i don't mind.

i'll take the couch, and you can have my bed.

don't be serious. i'll take the couch.

would it be all right if i stayed the night?

i'll stay on my side of the bed if you stay on yours.

bad news. the room's only got one bed.

i'll just sleep on the floor.

you should stay like this.

okkotsuus 23

[wvrlock]

This post will get rather long, please bear with me while I post all three parts of it.

People have blocked me in the past few days, and I'd rather it is for my own words than by association. I owe that to my mutuals here who have not heard from me in a while, especially those who like to form their own opinions. And I owe it to myself, because I won't keep being hypocritical thinking and talking about how people should handle things like adults but not do it myself and fade without a word.

Racism isn't petty drama, but the way it is handled can be, as it works with everything. I am not here to defend Bunny, or the other person, whose name was not stated "for the sake of their privacy" but King @ anyway — I will keep their name private as for their wishes, and call them X.

The callout was initially intended as a way of raising awareness to Bunny posing as a black person, meant to protect and validate POC. Although I have had ooc contact with him, I honestly cannot tell if he was posing as black, or how they were doing that (I am not American, and what I know of black culture in my country is most likely untrue for others, especially US), so I won't question the many people who spoke of their experience. It did catch my eye, as an external observer, that a few times it was mentioned that he "never claimed to be black", only thought to be. I don't know him or any of the people affected, but I was left with the impression that these claims were a thing brewing in a different circle, and were never brought up to him until it exploded. I don't doubt it is true and harmful for the people affected, but I have yet to see proof that it was intentional and malicious. If you have it, and will be so kind as to educate me, I would want to see it.

He addressed it in his own blog, all of the claims from the callout blog, so they weren't a secret even to his followers outside the bg3 rpc. He mentioned the past callouts, the sexualization of his character and pretending to be black. I think people are smart enough to make their own minds after seeing it there — if they thought he was black, now they knew for sure he wasn't, if they had sensed something odd with the sexualization they knew they weren't alone, and for the past callouts… I had been following Bunny for a while, and it isn't the first time I have heard about them from him. They were not public, but they weren't a secret either.

When I asked for the callout blog, I wanted to see proof of the things he had said, to cut ties with him after reading the testimonies of the affected people and forming my educated opinion. But I found nothing. All of it was telling me that what Bunny said was true: people saying they believed him to be black, people uncomfortable by the sexualization of his muse, and victims of his past. It gave me exactly nothing, except the word of strangers. Sure, I can trust POC's word about this or that being racist, because they know better. But I want to know what 'that' is. As a person who interacted with Bunny, and as a white person who writes some POC and highly sexual characters, I am not interested in "the drama", I want to know what they did wrong so I can learn from it: make sure I don't do it myself, educate my friends, stay away from others who replicate that behavior.

I thought at that point the deed of "keeping the rpc safe" was done. People had their thoughts validated, the person in question had addressed the issue, and most importantly he had added it to his rules. If it was indeed a malicious, intentional racist move, it had no room to ever happen again, and even followers from other rpcs knew of the claims and could form their opinion.

I positioned myself after Bunny's last post, when the issue of misgendering was mentioned, in his tags. I cannot possibly believe that none of the many people publicly or privately involved with the callout read this post. Be said he uses he/they pronouns (and those who follow him know that he's been using he more prominently as of late), and she is reserved for close friends. All over the callout blog he is referred to by the wrong pronouns, not just by people in screenshots, but for OP as well — recently for the excuse that "he has used them in the past, and it is what everyone else is using", but never once correcting it or addressing it. Perhaps people will call this a stretch, or a "desperate excuse to defend a racist", especially coming from a cis woman like myself, but this is a hard line for me, so I don't care. No matter the claims, no one deserves to be misgendered over and over again by dozens of people on a viral blog. It is cruel and dehumanizing. Even if there wasn't a conscious, malicious reasoning by OP, I can't possibly believe no one involved knew he was being misgendered — no one knew beforehand, or read his post, or got anons mentioning it? I don't know if they didn't speak up, or if someone did and wasn't listened to. I don't care. This alone makes me sick, and I don't wish to keep interacting with people who have seen this and did nothing about it.

[egg-emperor]

So, some of the people that judged you badly actually posted some form of similar Eggman content. Sounds like they only want to have the right about it I don't know how to explain this. Like it"s ok for them because they may see theirself as righteous or morally good I don't know so if it's from them it's ok no worries it's all love and peace but if it's from you or someone else it's not because you and others wrote something they don't like and that makes you the 'bad' guys and since they are the good ones they have to stop you regardless of the methods used because hey, they are the good ones they can't be wrong even if they truly did fcked up stuff to you right? Seriously, what the hell?

That sh"t is scary and you're actually right for calling out their behaviour, especially for all the things they did to you and spreading false things so others sided with them, making things worse than what they already were.

Who started that I don't know but no wonder they are full bullies and more.

Yeah it's just hypocrisy. Because while failing to tag something correctly is an issue like I have but always make sure to fix, some act like all my darker creations are wrong for me to make at all, despite having themes just as dark in their works.

I'll respect privacy but a few years ago there was an AU focused Sonic imprisoned in Forces and the tortuous abuse from Eggman. I was interested as someone who explores the concept too. But people tried to call this out and accuse the creators of all kinds of horrible things, just like what happened to me.

One main contributor is with the group that take issue with me and blocked me because of my take on Eggdad and possibly my staregg/eggline concept too. The other person I mentioned who is also involved with them, also blocked me after I interacted with their post where Metal bloodied up Sonic, which is ironic.

And another person in the circle drew "problematic content" years ago that I won't detail but some tried to bring it back and make accusations too. Like me, they even said they didn't like when people caused drama behind their back but proceeded to do the same as they contributed to the spread of the worst accusations I've gotten.

In both times people in that circle were called out, I defended their right to create/how it doesn't represent them as a person. They're not obligated to defend me but all I wanna know is if they can depict an actual 15 year old being abused or attacked with gore, why am I a bad guy for writing ageless AI Sage being manipulated by Eggman and a darker staregg/eggline concept?

The more I reflect on how hypocritical it is, the better I feel. Because I feel like some may only be taking issue with what I create as a reason to hate on me for other things about me that they don't like, or they're just against me because others say they should be and they want to avoid drama like before happening to them again.

A lot of them also seem to express moral righteousness too, so it's confusing and a bit concerning that they're okay with some things but not with others, and punish the others even if what they're okay with can be on the same level as or even worse. I just wish they hadn't fallen into this purity and call out culture and reflect on how we've actually been in the same boat.

And it's very sad for me not just for the horrible things I've been accused of but also because of how I looked up to these creators. Now I can't look at certain art on my blog I reblogged or the IDW cover without sadness and anxiety remembering what they did that hurt me.

But at least now I know to just stay in my little corner doing my own thing because these fandom cliques aren't worth the time when stuff like this happens lol

[prsk-krow]

TEMPORARY PINNED!!

INTRODUCTION...

Heyaheya!! Name's Krow (Crow if autocorrect's a bother), 17 yrs old, AMAB (any pronouns, though accustomed to he/him), INFP! Trying my best to not be socially awkward and insecure, so please bear with me >.<

Also english isn't my first language, so bear with me on that as well ;-;

BLOG INFO...

Just like many others, It's gonna be a Project Sekai headcanon writing blog! For now, only headcanons for N25 will be written, since I feel most comfortable doing those!

However, don't be afraid to send stuff that aren't requests! While I don't enjoy pure gibberish and shit posting, asking me questions, inbox checks, opinions are all a-ok, as long as they're related to the blog!

I'll close requests if I get too many at once, or if I run out of interest, so please check description to see whether it is or not!

BYF (Before you follow), I'll only post content about pjsk, and I won't spend much time here! Know that this isn't a very dedicated blog, only something for fun!

RULES...

About requests...

Only N25 member's headcanons! Includes their Virtual Singer variants, but these will take a bit longer!

Character x reader, character x character, and poly 2characters x reader only for relationship! Non relationship headcanons requests are also allowed!

Please make sure to define if you want platonic or romantic! If you don't, I'll default to platonic! A simple P or R will do, as I'll put it from now on!

Don't be vague, and don't reference other characters when describing reader's personality!

No smut, as they are minors.

Only mental illnesses I'll allow are those canon to them and yandere for characters, and depression, anxiety, and sensory overload stuff for reader.

I'll write romantic and fluff! The former may take a few extra braincell though... (Which means I'll default to fluff if not specified!)

Maximum of 4 characters per request for separate (Reader doesn't count), and 3 for poly asks (Reader counts)! Be aware, however, that with more characters, the detail will lower! Solid for 2, lesser for 3 and simpler for 4!

Please, try to keep the requests and asks short and sweet, with the descriptions of the reader and especially the scenarios! It makes it easier for me to write, giving me more creative liberty and it generally being more fun for me!

If I think a request starts to enter slightly into crack territory, I will slightly alter the descriptions of the scenarios! Sorry, not good at that type of stuff! (I'm mostly good with just fluff tbh...)

DNI (Do Not Interact) if...

Basic criterias, like homophobes, transphobes, racists, pedophiles, ableist, people who sexualize cultures, races, sexualities and the like.

Plagarizers.

You create/influence drama or political debates on social media. I do not wish to have either on my blog.

TAGS...

#/cawcaw, for my own posts, comments, updates, and stuff!

#/cawcanons, for my own headcanons, all of them!

#/cawswers, for my answers to questions!

#/cawtags, for when I reblog stuff that I've been tagged in!

#/cawreblogs, for when I reblog stuff that I like!

#/cawmoots, for when the posts have to do with any of my moots!

#/cawnews, for updates on the Mun and the blog!

#/cawspecial, for special and very, very important posts to me! If you see this tag in your feed, I would be really grateful if you went out of your way to read it, as a simple request...

#()Anon, for special anon asks!

Use these to divide my content equally! If you, as an anon, aren't sure if I answered your request, make sure to check these tags from time to time! Also, feel free to block any of these tags if you dislike the content that are related to them!

LINKS...

Super masterlist here!

PFP and header layout here!

...

That's it for now! I'm happy to have you all here, and I hope you all enjoy yourselves!

Caw.

[demisereb0rn]

#demisereb0rn: an indie, private, & mutuals only multi muse blog featuring various characters from NBC's Hannibal and various media. as told by zoey (31, she/her, est).

rules & muses below the cut:

01. welcome to my corner of the internet, I hope you enjoy your stay! my name is zoey and i've been in the roleplay community on and off since I was in middle school. I don't claim to be anyone in the pictures or have any affiliation with the cast or crew.

02. this blog will feature dark themes such as blood, gore, violence, drug use, drinking, etc and all will be tagged with ____ tw. while I have no triggers, if there is anything that I miss that you need to have tagged, please let me know and I will fix it promptly. I want to make sure everyone who visits my page feels comfortable. on the topic of tags, I also will not, under any circumstances, write smut. while I am of age, I just don't feel comfortable with it.

03. memes are always a great way to get things started with me. all memes will be turned into their own thread to make it easier for you to reply if you so choose and I will respond to your ask as answered so you can see it on your end as well. my writing responses will all vary in length. the only thing I won't write are one-liners, unless they are text threads. otherwise, I don't feel there is much for me to go off of. my inbox (and my discord that is available to mutuals) are always open for ooc discussion and plotting.

04. I don't follow people back right away. I am going to be extremely selective as to whom I follow back on this blog so please don't take offense if I don't follow you back. a big no for me is not having your age listed properly on your blog or no rules page. those right there are my number one reason for not following back; that and I may not see our muses meshing well.

05. my reply speed varies. this is not the only blog that I manage so replies may be slow and placed in the queue to keep things flowing when I am not logged on. if my muse strikes I may reply back right away or it may take me a while but I will always reply back.

06. I dealt with enough drama in high school and college so I am not here for it on this blog. I don't participate in call-out culture unless someone is extremely problematic and harmful to the tumblr community. otherwise, I will hard block and move on. I ask if you wish to unfollow you hard block me. sometimes I am not sure if something happened by mistake and I don't want to risk following back by accident.

09. psd credit goes to kittenkaiju and icon credit goes to babymagik and niixzee, all on deviantart.

The muses:

abigail hobbs (alt fc: adelaide kane)

mischa lecter (as characterized by annie murphy)

dr. alana bloom

bedelia du maurier

charlotte graham

nancy drew

[yxkushi]

GUIDELINES.

I no longer wish to get involved with the drama from 2019, including but not limited to the callout released on former friends and myself, and the group who made said callout. I genuinely want to move on from that whole situation, so if you try to bring it back you will be blocked, or just block me first if you don’t want to interact with me based on the drama.

Any muses that are from foreign media (re: most of them) will be based more off the localized/English versions of them. Some muses may have things incorporated from the original version, but that depends on what I think of the character.

Unless absolutely necessary for some muses, I will not godmod with your muse. And as common courtesy, I expect my partner to do the same in return. If your character is an asshole to mine, then don’t expect them to just be a doormat in return.

ANONYMOUS HATE/DRAMA IS NOT TOLERATED AND YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. I would like to stay as drama-free as possible, so do not bring me into your personal drama for any reason-you will be blocked for that as well.

Despite everything, I am generally a mild, kind person. However, if you take this as initiative to walk all over me, I will fight back in return.

I have no problem with duplicates; heck, I even enjoy having duplicate muses interact.

While I don’t enforce reblog karma, it is common courtesy to send in an inbox meme if you reblog one of those posts from me.

Do not interact with me if you follow “callout culture”. I don’t care who you are, or what someone else has done/what you perceive they have done, it’s straight up bullying. You endorse a movement that has literally almost ended lives before, even if you think you’re in the right. Just because you think you’re anonymous and impervious on the internet doesn’t mean your actions don’t have a real impact on the person behind the screen. Attempting to get me involved in callout culture will result in an instant hardblock.

There will most likely be “problematic” ships on this blog, due to the character of my muses and their source media. All I will do is tag these ships (when I do have tags for them), but as I said before, sending me or my ship partner hate for doing those ships will result in a block. Do not interact with me if you are an anti-shipper. “Anti-shipper/anti” meaning that you harass people for what they ship.

Due to personal experiences. I may be less inclined to discuss or do certain ships, so if you’re uncertain, please feel free to ask me about it.

Generally, I’m pretty ship-friendly and tend to ship just about everyone and everything. I will tag certain kinds of ships that involve risky content (like incest or noncon); however, it is up to you to make sure you don’t see that kind of content on your dash if you don’t like it/it triggers you.

I am very much open to multishipping or doubles shipping, but please don’t expect a ship to happen immediately after our muses meet.

I am a very, very slow writer sometimes, thanks to my own mental baggage clashing with my writing muse. Thus, how quickly I respond to threads or asks will vary, but you’re welcome to remind me if you want me to continue a thread. Please don’t be too demanding about it, though.

You don’t have to match my length/writing style or use icons when we write together. Admittedly, some threads with certain muses might be iconless on my end due to lack of art or images.

Please, please trim your posts/threads. It’s common courtesy for people who don’t want to see posts that are just lines upon lines, and if you are unable to do it, then I will cut our threads for you.

18+ material will be very rare on this blog, and on here in general. I almost exclusively write it on Discord these days, and only with people I trust and have gotten consent to write it with. I WILL ONLY GIVE OUT MY DISCORD TO CLOSE FRIENDS, OR IF I TRUST YOU ENOUGH.

I am open to writing darker themes, including (but not limited to) torture, violence and abuse, and rape-anything will be tagged accordingly. If you still want to follow me regardless, then don’t come complaining to me when it occurs.

Please tag any content regarding or having mentions of vomiting/emetophilia, animal death, and genital torture/mutilation, seeing as those are major squicks of mine. In return, you can come up to me to ask me to tag anything that squicks/triggers you.

penname: io age: 24 timezone: EST (UTC−04:00/05:00)

[darklypse]

#DARKLYPSE - an independent, highly selective & plot - driven multi for characters from the last of us. twenty1+ only. BY BRI, 26, SHE/HER.

muse list › tess servopoulos › general multi › van palmer

all muses featured are heavily headcanon based while aligning specifically with game canon events. only minor influences from hbo's adaption will appear. * this blog is trigger heavy, dealing with gore, death, crime, and the nitty gritty of living in a world turned wasteland. all triggers will be tagged in the following format: tw / although i ask if any of these make you uncomfortable on the whole then please do not follow. it is also fair to note that this blog is low activity and extremely plot - driven.

GENERAL RULES -

001. i do not claim the rights to any media found on this blog. i am not apart of naughty dog nor do i have any hand in the creation of these characters on the whole. what i do take pride in, however, are my portrayals therefore i'm making it known that i do not tolerate stealing of any kind. while i don't think i'll have an issue with this — i have in the past so i like to get it out of the way. if you do steal from me, i'll approach privately.

002. i do not follow everyone back. i've been on tumblr for many years now and have learned how best to curate a space for myself that i am happy to be in. it would be a disservice not only to myself but to everyone if i acted as though i could keep up with a quick moving dash by interacting with every single person. for the most part, i tend to follow people back within twenty four hours if i can see us writing together. otherwise i do make sure to softblock unless rules state you'd prefer to be hardblocked to avoid confusion.

003. if you support or condone racism, homophobia, transphobia, white-washing, suicide baiting, bullying or bigotry of any kind i will immediately block you. this also goes for zionists. we have nothing in common and i do not want that energy in my space. this is your one and only warning.

004. in terms of callout culture: i do not partake in it just for the sake of it. i typically do not reblog or engage with callout posts, but if someone is actively harmful to the community as a whole then of course that's different. i'm not interested in watching anyone to try to chase somebody out of a community simply because they don't like them. i am an adult with a mind of her own who can make decisions for herself. just because i don't interact doesn't mean i don't see it nor does it mean i'm supporting or not supporting it.

005. to reiterate my blog-view intro as well as the above: this blog is plot-driven. it's less of a suggestion and more of a hey, if we're going to be mutuals, you need to know that i am going to approach you to plot at some point. i do not follow people who i do not wish to interact with. i'm somebody who enjoys getting the ball rolling. whether this plotting is getting in deep on the in's and out's of a thread or just laying out a general dynamic for our muses and where + how they interact — i am open to either or. but there needs to be some form of communication, especially if we are going to have multiple threads. i will always respond to random starter calls and i may even drop a meme response without any plotting but just be aware that it's coming. this is becoming a pretty non-negotiable thing for me. i'm willing to do the work, so, if you follow me i am taking it that you are also willing. 50/50 effort, but 100% pay off for writing fun we will both enjoy.

006. lastly, if you're here because you want to blow steam up n*il dr*ckm*n or tr*y b*ker's ass then let me break it to you now: this is not the place for you.

[handsomeamoeba]

A Tumblr Guide for Newbies

Also available as a Google Doc to print or share with people who are not on Tumblr yet.

Wondering how to get started on Tumblr, what Tumblr culture is like, and who some of the big names are? Read on! It's a bit long, but hopefully it's approachable!

Starting Out

Welcome to Tumblr! To Twitter refugees, the morbidly curious, and everyone in between, welcome!

The first thing you want to do before you do anything on Tumblr is add an icon. You can do this by clicking the person-shaped Account icon, going to Settings, then clicking on your blog in the sidebar. You may also optionally wish to customize your blog’s colors and banner here, but you can come back to that later. 

The reason it is important to add an icon right away is because a default icon makes veteran Tumblr users suspicious that you may be a bot, and they may block you. Your icon can be anything you wish, but Picrews are sometimes looked down on (though not always), and if you are a pretty female-appearing individual you may not wish to use a photo of yourself (this is another sign of a possible bot).

Next, before you interact with too many blogs on Tumblr, you will also want to add a post or two. You can just start reblogging right away if you wish, or you can type up a quick intro post. An empty blog is another warning sign of a bot account.

An important aspect of Tumblr is that there is no real algorithm to speak of. There’s a “For You” page but it doesn’t work very well. Tumblr users love the lack of an algorithm, because it means that there’s a lack of predatory data tracking, the website will never deliberately funnel you into rage clicks and radicalization, and the things you want to see will always be the things shown to you. However it does mean that it can be difficult to start out, because you are starting from nothing.

You’re going to want to find some blogs to follow! It helps if you already know a Tumblr user or two– you can follow them, and they can suggest some more blogs to you. If you’re starting from scratch, try searching the tags for subjects or fandoms you’re interested in, and following a few blogs from there. If you don’t enjoy them, you can always unfollow later. Remember that Tumblr’s search function is generally unreliable, won’t always show you everything under a certain tag, and is nearly impossible to use to find specific posts. It’s good enough for getting a start in browsing, though.

You may also wish to follow a few tags for subjects you are interested in. Not everyone does this, but it can be useful when just starting out to find more content. To do this, go to the Your Tags tab and click Manage.

There is also a function on the site called Tumblr Live. Please be advised that no Tumblr regulars like, want, or use Tumblr Live, despite the fact that the website keeps pushing the feature. We’re pretty sure that Tumblr staff brought in people specifically to use Tumblr Live, because none of the people on it seem like our… type, so to speak. They’re just trying to attract the TikTok crowd. You can “Snooze” Tumblr Live for 7 days by going to Settings, then Dashboard, then scrolling to the bottom to toggle the option. There is no setting to turn it off completely despite vocal demand for it. Be advised that if you use Tumblr Live, this will probably alienate you from Tumblr veterans. I have been informed that the above does not currently apply to EU nationals, who are not subjected to Tumblr Live.

Going forward, you may choose to either Like or Reblog posts as they appear on your Dashboard. Keep in mind that unlike some other social media sites, your Likes are not public (or at least, you should toggle this option off– see below), and serve only as either a bookmark for yourself, or a small kudos to the OP. If you want to share the post with your own followers, or show major appreciation to the OP, you should Reblog it. This is especially appreciated by artists! Some people will tell you that “Likes Do Nothing”, but they can still be useful to track posts you have already seen or just give a little nod and a wave to the OP or the person who reblogged it. The more you reblog, the more likely your blog is to gain traction. It is difficult for someone who mostly makes original posts to get a foot in the door, especially in light of the previously mentioned unreliable Search feature.

If you would like to comment on a post, there are three ways to do this, and each has different use cases. If you want to say something to the OP directly, you may use the comment function. 

Most commonly, people put their commentary in the tags of the post. This allows you to make a remark or humorous aside without cluttering the post for others. If someone likes your tags enough, they may screencap or copy your tags and add them to the post themselves in a process sometimes called Peer Review. Sometimes people will also tag a post “#prev” or “#prev tags” to agree with the tags of someone they reblogged from, but older Tumblr users do not tend to prefer this, as reblog chains can get messy, and blogs often rename or deactivate. It can sometimes still be used just as a nod to the person you follow.

It is possible to add your commentary directly to the post, but this is not recommended unless you strongly feel that what you have to say is important or very funny. The difference between using tags or adding to the text post has been likened to the difference between whispering to your friends versus getting up on stage. 

There are two settings that Tumblr makes available that most Tumblr users turn off: Best Stuff First and Based On Your Likes. These can be toggled off under Settings, then Dashboard, then Preferences. You will also want to go to your own Blog settings and make sure that sharing for Likes and Follows is toggled off (no one likes this). 

Tumblr Culture & Politics

Tumblr users have a love-hate relationship with Staff. Of course we love our Hellsite, and we want it to remain as is– free of algorithms, aggressive marketing, and the other features that make other social media sites unlivable. As such, Staff generally has a lighthearted and casual way of addressing the userbase, and there is often mutual ribbing. However, Staff have made a number of controversial moves in the past (the porn ban, adding Tumblr Live, inconsistent moderation choices, etc) that have given the users some skepticism towards them. Financially supporting Tumblr can be sometimes controversial; some will cite Tumblr’s past transgressions as a reason not to support them while others will point out that Tumblr needs our support to keep running as it does specifically because they don’t sell our data like other websites.

On a related note, Tumblr users are notoriously difficult to market to and tend to resent marketing and advertisement. Brands and celebrities (with a couple notable exceptions, see Famous Tumblr Users) are widely shunned, most use ad block (few pay for ad free), and it can be difficult for even independent artists and small stores to promote their work. Some Tumblr users see any attempt to make money outside of charitable fundraising and crowdfunding to be bad, although this is a particularly extreme view not held by all.

Politically, a majority of Tumblr is left leaning, often queer, and leftist infighting is common. It is best not to get involved for the sake of your sanity. Regrettably there is a small and stubborn foothold of TERFs and other such bigots. Block, do not engage. You may report if you wish, but as mentioned above, moderation on Tumblr can be inconsistent. If you are very worried about encountering TERFs, many use an app known as Shinigami Eyes, which highlights transphobic social network pages in red.

Tumblr was once infamous for particularly insane hot takes, and while this still happens, the general consensus is most of the worst users left when the porn ban took effect and went to places like Twitter and TikTok. Tumblr is protective of its current cultural ethos and users do not want to see a return to the likes of early 2010s culture. Outside of Tumblr it is common for people to either perceive the website as dead, or as full of insane people. We like to keep it that way. A certain style of aggressively weird or cringe blogging, known as Rent Lowering Gunshots, is sometimes employed to dissuade users of a more delicate sensibility from joining. 

It helps to already be kind of a weirdo to enjoy it here.

Fandom culture is pervasive on Tumblr, and promoted even by Staff. While not everyone is a fandom blogger, it is likely that most are to some extent. Some people choose to have separate blogs, or Sideblogs, for some or all of their specific interests and fandoms in order to keep content consistent. Other people prefer to dump all of their posts onto their Main and let god sort it out! This is entirely up to you.

Tags are not only used to find content, but also to filter it! You may easily block tags you do not want to see by going to your Settings. This will block anything your followed blogs tag with these tags, as well as any posts tagged by the OP as such even if the reblogger did not use them. As such it is advised that you do NOT censor any tags so that people’s block lists will catch them. If you wish to provide content warnings, please tag with “#[warning] cw” or “#[warning] tw”. Tagging with cw or tw first may mess with some people’s block lists, and tagging with the warning ONLY but without cw or tw may put the post in discussion tags for those triggers. 

Speaking of censorship, since, again, there is no algorithm, there is no need to censor curses, reclaimed slurs, words like “kill” or “death”, etc. Doing so will generally get you made fun of. The only time you may need to censor words in your post is if you are making a post critical of a subject or fandom and you don’t want to risk it coming up in their search results. In that case it’s considered polite to censor the name of the fandom, character, or other subject (or, in the case of H*rry P*tter, just a good way to avoid TERFs). 

In recent times, the infamous porn ban has been lightened somewhat. Artistic and educational nudity and sexuality, and really anything short of full-on pornography, is now generally allowed under the Mature Audiences community label. If your post needs a Mature label, click on the button that says “For Everyone” and change it to “Mature”.

On most social media websites there is an unspoken time limit to interact with a post before it becomes weird to do so. This is not the case on Tumblr. We still have posts circulating from 2011 and no one cares.

Tumblr Memes

Tumblr is rife with memes and shitposts (short, weird text posts). The landscape of Tumblr memes is always changing, but to get you up and running, here’s a few common ones to get you started (in no particular order).

DESTIEL CONFESSION: ever since the 2020 Elections, when Supernatural ship Destiel went canon in the weirdest possible way at the same time Trump was being defeated, a screencap of Castiel confessing his feelings to Dean has been the most common way for Tumblr users to share breaking news.

CRAB RAVE: similar to Destiel Confession, gifs from the music video for Crab Rave are often used to celebrate breaking news stories. This is most commonly the spiteful celebration of the death or downfall of terrible people.

THE TUMBLR CALENDAR: Tumblr users love any excuse to celebrate something and have a great number of weekly and annual observances. Weekly observances include Tuesday No Problem, Out of Touch Thursday, Flat Fuck Friday, and others. Annual observances include the Ides of March, Halloween (celebrated throughout October and also whenever you feel like it), November 5th (the anniversary of the 2020 Elections & Destiel Confession), and others.

DRACULA DAILY: A service that has chapters of “Dracula” by Bram Stoker sent directly to your email inbox, on the date the events happened in the story. Starts every year on May 3rd, currently in its second year running. Frequently memed on. Users will often reference emails from Our Good Friend Jonathan. There are other literary substacks but this one is by far the most popular.

DO YOU LOVE THE COLOR OF THE SKY?: A notorious, extremely long post mostly consisting of a color gradient. No one likes this post. Sometimes people will reblog it just to troll others. Other times people will reblog fakeout posts that seem like they’re going to be Do You Love The Color of the Sky, but turn out to be something else.

COLOR THEORY: An oft-referenced post in which a Tumblr user aggressively defended a hospital’s use of a streak of red painted on their floor, with seemingly no self awareness that the streak looked like a long trail of blood. Now pictures of apparent or obvious blood stains may contain jokes about color theory to explain why they’re perfectly innocent, actually.

GONCHAROV: A months long ruse conducted by many Tumblr users to make a completely fake Scorsese film seem like it was real. While anyone with any decency will admit to the farce when asked directly, most people still jokingly talk about Goncharov like it’s a real thing. Sometimes a new fake media will come along and be referred to as “the new Goncharov.”

HORSE PLINKO: A gif of a horse falling down a plinko machine, usually into a fire. That’s it.

THE TUMBLR CODE: A very old post from the early 2010s proposed a code for Tumblr users to identify each other in public. The call and response is “I like your shoelaces.” “Thanks, I stole them from the president.” Originally posted as silly but completely sincere, it is now embraced begrudgingly and ironically. Tumblr sells officially branded shoelaces as a reference to this post. It is considered embarrassing to buy them.

JOHN GREEN COCK MONOLOGUE: Once upon a time, it was possible for Tumblr users to edit the content of a post when reblogging it. In retrospect, this was always a terrible idea. It was made clear how terrible an idea this was when a post by author John Green was famously edited to be a long rant about how “Cock is my favorite taste”. This spread like wildfire, and was used as part of a larger harassment campaign that drove Green off the site completely. While still frequently joked about, the John Green Cock Monologue is more controversial than it once was, with many now citing it in retrospect as sexual harassment. In the wake of the Cock Monologue, Tumblr finally made reblogs uneditable. 

THEN PERISH: A menacing close-up screenshot of Obama’s squinting eyes. Originating from an absurd roleplay thread in which President Obama allowed a small monkey-like creature to drown, including an exchange frequently paraphrased as “I’ll do anything you want” “Then perish”. Frequently the image of Obama’s eyes alone are posted and understood to mean this phrase.

CONNECTICUT CLARK: Originating from Twitter and Reddit and spreading to Tumblr from there, Connecticut Clark was a character from the webcomics by Flork of Cows, originating an OC with absolutely no interesting powers, backstory, or particularly good looks. In fact he looks like a weird little lump. Tumblr users love Connecticut Clark and his romance with the demon witch Malfina. 

GIFS: Gifsets are a popular aspect of Tumblr fandom culture. Reaction gifs, however, are no longer preferred and often considered obnoxious, thanks to their overuse in the early days of Tumblr. Sometimes long chains of gifs are used as Rent Lowering Gunshots (see Tumblr Culture). 

THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS: A post by now defunct Tumblr user thejorie vehemently insisting that he had three girlfriends who smoked weed, and getting into aggressive arguments with most of the people who responded to the thread in any way.

BONEGHAZI: An infamous drama in which a Tumblr user openly admitted to stealing human bones from a nearby cemetery to use in witchcraft and/or sell to others. If you ever hear anyone talking about The Tumblr Bone-Stealing Witch, just know that that’s a real thing that really happened.

MIKU BINDER THOMAS JEFFERSON: Of all of the bizarre things to come out of the Hamilton fandom (besides the Cannibal Mermaid Fanfic and the person who faked AIDS for clout, two controversies I am NOT going to get into here and that you can look up on your own), one famous fanart depicted Hamilton’s version of Thomas Jefferson as a trans man wearing a binder emblazoned with virtual musician Hatsune Miku. Widely mocked.

Famous (and Infamous) Tumblr Users

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: AKA Gaud. Controversial but very pervasive shitposter. I tend to avoid them, lots of people consider them annoying, but I don’t think they did anything specific? Someone correct me if I’m wrong. In spite of the name I don’t think they’re a H*rry P*tter blogger.

bunjywunjy: Animal blogger known for their #Cursed Biology animal facts series. Very informative!

chongoblog: Mashup musician and streamer. Also memes a lot. His longest work to date is Mad Rat Monday, a mashup album based around the soundtrack to Mad Rat Dead.

communismkills: Thankfully no longer active, famous for harassing and doxxing trans people, as well as a frequently mocked post where they tried to get people to pay them $8000 to stop posting.

cryptotheism: Occultist and author, one of the most famous of the oft-referenced Tumblr Wizards. Posts frequently about occult history and practice.

dingdongyouarewrong: Youtube video essayist Sarah Z. Shitposts more than she posts about her YouTube channel. Has a vocal group of detractors but I’ve never figured out why. Tbf I am a fan of her channel.

doubleca5t: Well-liked trans woman shitposter and former YouTuber, though she quit her YouTube channel to focus on her career.

evilwizard: Another popular Tumblr Wizard. Unlike cryptotheism, whose “wizardry” is rooted in a sincere interest in alchemy and occultism, evilwizard’s wizardry is a schtick. Funny, though.

gallusrostromegalus: Artist and author known for their extremely long but very funny story posts.

iguanamouth: Artist and meme blogger. Many of their artworks have become memes in their own right. 

neil-gaiman: Yes, that Neil Gaiman. The popular fantasy author is also a popular Tumblr blogger and one of the few celebrities Tumblr users will tolerate (although some resent even him).

nyancrimew: AKA maia arson crimew. The internationally wanted hacktivist who released the no-fly list is also a beloved fixture on Tumblr. 

pangur-and-grim: AKA Greer Stothers. Illustrator, author, and pet blogger. Their oriental longhair cat Pangur is particularly beloved.

pizza: A once well liked blogger who fell into infamy for being a huge racist, and was ultimately banned, not for the racism, but for promoting diet pills on their blog.

prokopetz: Tabletop game designer and prolific blogger. Has a pinned post with all his game designs, if you are interested.

punkitt-is-here: One of the most well known My Little Pony bloggers on the site today. Known for their silly comics, liked even by people who do not watch MLP.

reallyndacarter: Actress Lynda Carter is fairly new to Tumblr, a recent Twitter refugee, but Tumblr has embraced her for her earnestness and willingness to play along with the website’s weirdness.

sixpenceee: Bafflingly still active despite the well-known controversy where they straight up admitted their family owns a child slave. Not recommended.

straycatj: Well liked Japanese cat blog, written (usually) from the perspective of the cats. Extremely cute and wholesome.

were–ralph: Beloved furry and werewolf fucker. Blog tends to trend very NSFW so follow at your own risk. Also he keeps getting banned and has to keep remaking, either because of the spicy content or because Staff is racist.

I hope this has been helpful! If you are a Tumblr newbie, again, welcome, and don't be shy to reach out and ask other Tumblr users about anything you need to know!

And if you are a Tumblr veteran who has read all this way and you think something in this guide needs to be changed, added, or removed, let me know!

[aspd-culture]

Hi all, welcome to ASPD-Culture. You can find the DSM-V TR's diagnostic criteria for ASPD at the bottom of this post.

Here's how it works! You can use asks or submissions (on or off anon, asks allow for anon while submissions don't for those who don't know), to submit things you either are struggling with as someone with ASPD, or that you think others with ASPD would find relatable. These can be serious, meme-y, or somewhere in-between. It's ok if it applies to other disorders too, as long as it relates to antisocial personality disorder/the symptoms and associated traits of ASPD.

Send as many ask you like, I am not afraid of a full inbox. Do not feel like you're bugging me; I thrive on the attention and validation of the inbox full of asks. 😈

I welcome questions, vents, confessions, and personal submissions as well as more general ones! I cannot accept anything that would cause anyone legal trouble to say anonymously or otherwise, and please no names unless they are fictional/celebrities; you can use the first letter if you want tho!

Please note that fakeclaiming/ableism against "edgy teens" is not welcome here. This blog is pro well-researched self dx, and is not interested in guessing who may/may not be faking. Submissions will be taken in the good-faith assumption that you are being legitimate.

That said, ableist submissions will be removed and not posted. Waste your time if you want, *shrug*. Also, this blog is not the place for nt people or people with other disorders to complain about ASPD, though they *are* welcome to submit questions/asks in good faith as long as you aren't complaining about pwASPD or intentionally being ableist. If you aren't sure if something is ableist, you're welcome to ask my opinion on that, though I'm only one pwASPD so I'm not an authority. People with ASPD are welcome to vent frustrations about their own disorder, as well as how having ASPD may cause conflict with others with this/other disorders and/or frustrations about dealing with pwoASPD as someone who has it. We have to mask our frustrations with prosocials everywhere else in life - please feel free to be open about them here. Prosocials please try not to feel attacked by these, they're just vents likely being used to make sure we don't say anything hurtful irl.

Being that ASPD can have violent thoughts as a symptom, non-targetted posts about violent thoughts are ok, and will be posted with appropriate tws. If I miss any tw, please let me know and I will add it asap. Because of this, you don't need to add tws in the submissions unless you want to. That said, please be aware of the type of text-based content you may see on this blog. It's ok to block, unfollow, etc if you need to. Words like ps**hopath and soc**path may or may not be censored, but they will be tw tagged (tw psychopath and tw sociopath respectively, as well as tw aspd stigma), so if you reclaim those terms that's ok, but be aware I will tw them.

I think that about sums it up! Ask/submit away!

A quick shoutout - I was inspired by @cluster-b-culture-is because I love their content, but I found myself wishing there was one just for ASPD especially with the recent rise of acceptance for BPD but not the other cluster b's (to be clear tho, cluster-b-culture-is does not support stigma against any sort of elitism within the community, and is a great blog that you should follow if you like their content!).

Edit: Here is the diagnostic criteria for ASPD as of the most current DSM (DSM-V TR), quoted directly. Please note there are diagnostic features, development "criteria" (things that cause the disorder to develop), and presentation/associated features to think about as well. You cannot diagnose solely off of having 3/7 of the following criteria, but 3/7 is all you need in combination with meeting the other stuff to have ASPD. This should help steer away ableist additions that people constantly try to make to the criteria.

Plain text below the cut:

Hi all, welcome to ASPD-Culture. You can find the DSM-V TR's diagnostic criteria for ASPD at the bottom of this post.

Here's how it works! You can use asks or submissions (on or off anon, asks allow for anon while submissions don't for those who don't know), to submit things you either are struggling with as someone with ASPD, or that you think others with ASPD would find relatable. These can be serious, meme-y, or somewhere in-between. It's ok if it applies to other disorders too, as long as it relates to antisocial personality disorder/the symptoms and associated traits of ASPD.

Send as many ask you like, I am not afraid of a full inbox. Do not feel like you're bugging me; I thrive on the attention and validation of the inbox full of asks. [Smiling devil face emoji]

I welcome questions, vents, confessions, and personal submissions as well as more general ones! I cannot accept anything that would cause anyone legal trouble to say anonymously or otherwise, and please no names unless they are fictional/celebrities; you can use the first letter if you want tho!

Please note that fakeclaiming/ableism against "edgy teens" is not welcome here. This blog is pro well-researched self dx, and is not interested in guessing who may/may not be faking. Submissions will be taken in the good-faith assumption that you are being legitimate.

That said, ableist submissions will be removed and not posted. Waste your time if you want, *shrug*. Also, this blog is not the place for nt people or people with other disorders to complain about ASPD, though they *are* welcome to submit questions/asks in good faith as long as you aren't complaining about pwASPD or intentionally being ableist. If you aren't sure if something is ableist, you're welcome to ask my opinion on that, though I'm only one pwASPD so I'm not an authority. People with ASPD are welcome to vent frustrations about their own disorder, as well as how having ASPD may cause conflict with others with this/other disorders and/or frustrations about dealing with pwoASPD as someone who has it. We have to mask our frustrations with prosocials everywhere else in life - please feel free to be open about them here. Prosocials please try not to feel attacked by these, they're just vents likely being used to make sure we don't say anything hurtful irl.

Being that ASPD can have violent thoughts as a symptom, non-targetted posts about violent thoughts are ok, and will be posted with appropriate tws. If I miss any tw, please let me know and I will add it asap. Because of this, you don't need to add tws in the submissions unless you want to. That said, please be aware of the type of text-based content you may see on this blog. It's ok to block, unfollow, etc if you need to. Words like ps**hopath and soc**path may or may not be censored, but they will be tw tagged (tw psychopath and tw sociopath respectively, as well as tw aspd stigma), so if you reclaim those terms that's ok, but be aware I will tw them.

I think that about sums it up! Ask/submit away!

A quick shoutout - I was inspired by cluster-b-culture-is because I love their content, but I found myself wishing there was one just for ASPD especially with the recent rise of acceptance for BPD but not the other cluster b's (to be clear tho, cluster-b-culture-is does not support stigma against any sort of elitism within the community, and is a great blog that you should follow if you like their content!).

Edit: Here is the diagnostic criteria for ASPD as of the most current DSM (DSM-V TR), quoted directly. Please note there are diagnostic features, development "criteria" (things that cause the disorder to develop), and presentation/associated features to think about as well. You cannot diagnose solely off of having 3/7 of the following criteria, but 3/7 is all you need in combination with meeting the other stuff to have ASPD. This should help steer away ableist additions that people constantly try to make to the criteria.

[Transcription of the image included] A screenshot of the Diagnostic Criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder (code F60.2) quoted directly out of the DSM-V TR.

Criterion A.) A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occuring since age 15 years as indicated by 3 (or more) of the following.

Subcriterion 1.) Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.

Subcriterion 2.) Deceitulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.

Subcriterion 3.) Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.

Subcriterion 4.) Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights and assaults.

Subcriterion 5.) Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.

Subcriterion 6.) Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.

Subcriterion 7.) Lack of remors, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

Criterion B.) The individual is at least age 18 years.

Criterion C.) There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years.

Criterion D.) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. [End transcription of image]

[kedreeva]

To the anon (sort of) in my inbox asking about blocking: If you found yourself blocked, it probably wasn’t personal or at least not anything you did to me, personally. Here’s a short, incomplete list of reasons I have blocked people in the past:

they are a terf

they are some other stripe of bigot

they voiced the opinion that queer is a slur

they are an anti or otherwise support purity culture

they voiced a negative opinion of AO3

They reposted art from other tumblr users who have their own posts about that art

they sent me an ask (usually on anon) that was aggressive or hateful

they said something mean to a friend of mine

they are an ARA or militant vegan

they believe house cats should be allowed to freely roam outdoors unsupervised

they had an opinion that annoyed me about some other animal

particularly insects, snakes, or other “yucky” creatures I enjoy

they had a negative opinion about a ship I like

they had an opinion I didn’t like about a piece of media I do like

they had an opinion I liked about media I like but in a way that annoyed me

they had an opinion I didn’t like about a creator I do like

they had an opinion that annoyed me about giving unsolicited criticism to fanfiction authors about their fanfic

they had an opinion about something else that annoyed me or made me tired

They replied to a post instead of reblogging it to put that in the tags

they said something obnoxious where I could see it in the tags

for example, “despite my personal ban on Kedreeva content, I am reblogging this” - problem solved, now this person won’t ever have to worry about reblogging from me

another example, passive-aggressively writing in the tags about how they wish the person who “put this on my dash” would have considered their personal feelings; my friend (who is a stranger I do not know) I do not put Shit on your dash, YOU put it there by following me and now the problem is solved, I removed myself from your dash.

I didn’t like their username

They got overly familiar in an aggressive way despite being a complete stranger with no personal bond with me that would allow aggression to come off as funny

I saw them posting opinions on any of the above and blocked them even though I wasn’t sure if I was annoyed or not, just in case I was annoyed

They said literally anything I didn’t care to hear about in my space where I go to relax at the end of a long work day.

I block people alllllll the time. I love blocking people that annoy me in any way, even if it’s minor. I’m usually not offended, just tired. I come here to unwind and relax, and reading opinions that make me more tired doesn’t help with that. Encountering hateful people doesn’t help with that. Sometimes I’ll fight someone if I have the energy and time. Most of the time I just hit that sweet, sweet block button and move on with my life.

So like, chances are you said something that I was too tired to deal with at the time, and I just blocked you instead of fighting about it. I have no recollection of your username in particular, or the post you referred to, so it obviously wasn’t a deep, personal slight. If you’re not part of the first 10 groups, pop me another message and I’ll unblock you. If you ARE a part of the first 10 groups, then you and I are better off where we were before you sent the ask: not interacting.

[bookofmirth]

I saw your recent response to an anon where you mentioned the drama that occurred the other day based around bookprofessor’s post. Obviously you don’t have to respond to this or publish it if you do not wish but I just wanted to bring up that while it is important to focus on the real life issues at hand, the OP was hypocritical in her post which is why people were getting upset. She was preaching against ableism while simultaneously flaunting her IQ and degree which is a form of ableism. She was speaking out against racism while ending her post using the racial slur “cracker” when talking about the possibly Caucasian Twitter elriels.

Obviously she had some important points but it was completely overshadowed by her participation in the hate speech and prejudice that she was speaking out against.

This does not in any way justify the nasty messages she received but on the same hand, I do not blame anyone that called her out for her hypocrisy. I hope you can understand why her post was so negatively received and how flawed it was. My hope is that one day everyone can just ignore the negativity, report those who are being racist/prejudiced in any way, and block those who are just being loud and who you don’t wish to see content from. But unfortunately I do not see that happening any time soon.

There are a few things I want to address in this because I think it's a good moment for the fandom to step back and reflect on how we treat one another, how we react to such issues, and how we behave moving forward.

First off, thanks for explaining your point of view without being antagonistic. I do think that everyone's emotional reactions to the post were valid. I do NOT think their responses, in terms of words and actions, were valid. Now before I move forward, I want to clarify that when I use the word "you", I am referring to anyone who may have had the response I am describing - not you personally, anon. Also please don’t freak out about how long this is, as a majority of it is a response to the fandom in general, not you in particular.

What was - and wasn’t - said in the original post

In this post, there were completely valid criticisms of the way that people in this fandom behave, and it wasn’t “generalizing” a certain group, it was literal, actual proof of things that had been said, by multiple people. I’m not going to get too into what Alyssa argued because her critiques of those tweets was flawless. The original post had very valid criticisms of what was happening on Twitter. Alyssa exposed the actually racist, homophobic, and imperialistic underpinnings of those tweets.

However, a lot of people are stuck on the bits before and after those critiques. @bookprofessor apologized for different aspects of her post in a few different asks. There were perhaps better ways that some of those things could have been phrased, some things that could have been left out. And she apologized. People can accept that apology or not but we can’t act like it didn’t happen. Like she didn’t reflect and learn to do better.

However, the people she was calling out have not done the same thing, and if anything, comments that focus more on Alyssa’s tone than why she wrote the post in the first place lets those people off the hook.

On cracker - Using the word "cracker" is not racist in the same way that using racial slurs against POC is. Is it prejudiced? Yes. But you cannot say that it is the same thing when that is demonstrably untrue, given centuries of oppressive history. No one has been oppressed for being white. Those are not the same. Reverse racism is not a thing because a white person punching down on POC is NOT AT ALL the same thing as a POC punching up at white people. The actions look the same, but the impact is so unequal it’s not even funny.

Racism is a systemic, institutionalized problem. It is not defined by individual actions, though those actions can either support or challenge racism. When someone calls a white person a cracker, there isn’t centuries of oppression giving power to and reinforcing that statement. That is not a “gotcha” moment.

Saying “I have x IQ” or “I have X degrees” is not ableist. I’m sorry to whoever told you it was ableist (again, not you specifically anon but people who had read the “aw shucks guys” vagueblogs about it), but it’s not. Those are facts. I have no idea what my IQ is, but I have five degrees from institutions of higher education. Me saying that is in no way ableist. 

Often, people mention those things to be elitist, yes. Sometimes, they can be used to say “hey I know more about this than you”. They can be used in a way that tries to make themselves feel superior. I suspect that this is the impression that a lot of people got of the post. However, there is a fine line between saying “hey that’s elitist” and professing anti intellectualism. Which is perhaps a side issue so I’ll let that go for now.

Another reason that people mention their degrees or qualifications is to establish their background knowledge and credibility. If I were to say “hey y’all I have two MA degrees” (which is true) I am not being ableist! It is a fact! It is factual! And I worked my ass off for those, I will be in student loan debt until I die for those, I have every right to mention them if I want to, and often I do so in order to establish my credibility, to explain the position I am coming from. And my prior knowledge of these topics is relevant when we are talking about literature since that’s what my degrees were on - literature and linguistics. That is why Alyssa mentioned her background, though she did pair it with comments about other people, for which she has apologized.

My final point about this is that I 1000% understand feeling insecure or less than because of educational attainment. I dropped out of high school. I had a complex about that for a long, long time. But I also know that if I took offense at someone else saying they had a PhD, then that offense is about me, not them. Someone else’s inferiority complex is not reason for people to pretend to be less than they are.

If those two comments are what overshadowed the bigger, more important issue for a lot of the readers of that post, then y’all allowed them to overshadow those more important issues. I am 99% sure that someone right now is reading this and thinking “but Leslie, it was the way that she said it!” Boy have I got some news for you!

How we react

This next section is not specific to this ask; instead, it is a discussion of how the fandom responded. If it were only one person who had said “but her tone” then I wouldn’t need to make this point. The fact that multiple people are exhibiting the behavior explained below is what makes this a cultural problem within the acotar fandom.

The main argument I saw on the post itself, and indeed any time I see people bring up how nasty Twitter can be, is that “it was a joke” and “that’s how stan Twitter works”.

No.

Those responses were quite useful for this post, though! So buckle up everyone, because I am going to talk about gaslighting, racism, respectability politics, and tone policing. While I understand that some people might have taken personal offense to what was said, there is a much bigger issue at stake that has nothing to do with individual feelings, and everything to do with ensuring that POC stay silenced and white supremacy is upheld. 

Back to the “but it’s a joke” thing. Thanks for gaslighting! Great example of that, person I’m not going to tag! Gaslighting is when you make someone question their experiences, when you try to make them think “wait, did I really feel that way? Is my feeling about that valid? Do I need to re-evaluate my response to this?? Am I blowing this out of proportion???” And saying “it’s just a joke” is a perfect way to do that. Did I say something accidentally sexist? It’s just a joke, nbd! Now you’re the problem, because you didn’t understand my joke and laugh!!! 

Saying “it’s a joke” or “oh they are old/young/ignorant, they will learn” is not a good response to... anything. It takes the responsibility off the people who are doing the harm, and putting it onto the people who were hurt. And in this case, anyone who read those tweets and found them harmful (which should be everyone?) is completely valid. You aren’t lesser for being angry or emotional or for seeing a problem where other people saw a joke. The people who see those things as acceptable jokes are the ones in the wrong.

This is a tactic that is used against women all the time. Any time a woman is sexually harassed at work or online, for example, and she gets upset about it, and someone chimes in with “oh they weren’t serious, can’t you take a joke?” So you can imagine what this is like for women of color.

It is a very, very common tactic for people of color to be silenced via tone policing and respectability politics. Tone policing and respectability politics are very closely related, especially in this context. The idea is that if Alyssa had just written that post in just the right way, it would have been more palatable to white people, and therefore okay to write. The idea that if she had tried to be “understanding” or “see it from their perspective” or understand that it’s “just a joke” are all ways to silence and de-legitimize any accurate, valid criticisms that were made of those tweets. It effectively re-routes the conversation away from the real issues, and to the person trying to bring them up. It’s essentially an ad hominem attack in disguise. 

We see respectability politics in media when people of color who act or dress or speak like white people are afforded more respect. Or any time that a person of color is pulled over and people say, “well if they had just done what the police officer asked...” There is a pervasive idea that if people just “act” properly, aka if you act white, then the police won’t feel antagonized and try to kill arrest you. If we are nice enough, meek enough, smile enough, etc. then we will be accepted.

When we tone police, we refuse to allow marginalized people the right to be angry. We say that "hey, we can only have this discussion if you leave emotion, which you rightfully feel, at the door, and we can only continue this discussion if you behave in a way that makes me feel comfortable." But guess what? It isn’t about you! These discussions are often highly uncomfortable. There is no nice way to tell someone they are being racist. And yet somehow, that is the ever-moving goalpost. It seems reasonable, right? “Just be civil, be nice, don’t insult each other!” And there is that. But those criteria change constantly, to the point where anyone (white) at any time can say “WHOA WHOA THIS IS MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE???” Then we find ourselves at zero, and suddenly the focus of attention has shifted away from the actual problem.

Before we go further, I want to say this: people have a right to be angry. They do not need to make their anger palatable or tasteful for the consumption of others (read: white people). 

We saw this last summer, and I’m not sure how the message didn’t get across. But people are rightfully angry about racism. They are angry about the murder of people of color by police, they are angry about lack of quality education, or clean water, of centuries of oppression that have led to this very moment when all of that ceases to matter because a white woman’s feelings got hurt one time. 

And that is what pisses me off so much. There is no way in this world that we could criticize tweets like those that everyone would agree with, and that everyone would “approve” of, that would be “nice” enough and yet still be impactful and make the authors of those tweets understand the gravity of what they have done. 

The least we can do is allow one another to express our anger, our outrage, because it’s highly likely that those people know exactly what the fuck they are doing, and they do not fucking care. By criticizing a woman of color for the way in which she chose to engage with this topic, we are avoiding the issue and letting the people in those tweets off the hook. 

There were many responses to that post that were positive, that agreed with Alyssa. There are a ton of people who disagree with those tweets, who find them disgusting, who understand exactly how and why they are problematic. That should be what we are talking about. Getting to the core of the argument, on that post or any about racism or other problematic behavior in fandom, requires getting past our own egos. It requires us to be able to step back, say “hm this thing is frustrating but there is a bigger picture here”. It’s not easy, and I recognize that. 

The fact that it is a common tactic though? To say “hey this hurt me personally and so I’m going to ignore any valid points you made?” That feeds directly into centuries of white supremacy because it, once again, silences POC and makes them try to play a losing game. And they will always lose, because no matter how hard they try to play the white game, the goalposts are constantly shifting. So you know what? Fuck the game, and fuck respectability politics, and fuck tone policing and “uwu be nice guys” because when it comes to things like racism and sexism, I don’t expect the people who deserve to be criticized to be nice. In fact, trying to be nice only serves to fuck POC over in the end.

Indeed, in response to that post, certain blogs have taken the opportunity to position themselves as “the nice ones” or “the ones who would never” or “uwu let’s be nice guys” while completely ignoring the fact that a woman of color was attacked for calling out racism. And yes - that was the point of her post. People getting hung up on mentions of her degree are (intentionally or not, it doesn’t matter) completely obfuscating the fact that that is not what her post was about, which was to call out disgusting behavior. idk how many words the post actually was, but essentially, people are focusing on 5% of it to the detriment of the 95% that was actually really important shit. These types of vagueblog posts about the issue fall into exactly what I am talking about - these are people who have decided to look at this issue, see how Alyssa (and anyone else who dares speak up) has approached it, and intentionally try to act like they are “better” because they can be “rational” and “kind”. Newsflash, if you don’t have something to be angry about, then being “nice” about racism isn’t that much of a flex. If it didn’t bother you, then congratulations. That doesn’t make you better than people it did bother. You just got lucky this time, and decided to use that to your advantage to look like the good guy.

I am not saying that all calls for peace are doing this. Obviously it’s what we all want. This is the worst I have seen this fandom in the 4+ years I’ve been here. But we cannot have that by ignoring the real problems and pretending that if we are all just nice to each other, then we will solve racism and sexism and all bullying in the fandom will stop. 

So combining all of this - the gaslighting, the tone policing, and what do you get? You get a fandom that refuses to actually engage critically with its own problems and take accountability for them. You get a fandom that decides that it’s easier to be distracted by this one mean comment over here than it is to engage in the fact that you know what, the culture in this fandom has actually turned incredibly disgusting and a lot of people are just okay with it. You’ve got a fandom that is using the tools of white supremacy to avoid the discussions that should actually be taking place. Maybe people don’t realize that that’s what they are doing. But if someone still thinks that after reading this post, then godspeed my friend, I hope you enjoy Twitter.

Okay so my last thing I want to say is that I didn’t come to all of this knowledge fresh from the womb. I do a lot of work, in my personal life and my professional life, to be better. So here is a list of books that I have found particularly helpful:

How to Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Stamped From the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America also by Ibram X. Kendi

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo (side note, I was kinda meh about this one but the chapter “White Women’s Tears” is particularly helpful)

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment by Patricia Hill Collins

I’m not going to talk specifically about Alyssa’s post anymore, but if anyone wants to continue talking about these broader issues going on in the fandom, I am game. (I really should be grading papers though, so it might take a bit.)