#<- trying to cover every possible spoiler tag just in case

[commander-wakemeupinside]

The John Chapters

Here’s a full list of each verse, the actual biblical thing, and a chapter summary with the bits that I found the most relevant. You can click for better quality, I tried to make it into a pdf I could share but that’s not working for some reason. (Obvious warning for mega spoilers, if you're reading this and you haven't read nona yet go block all the tags right now!)

also while I'm here thanks @treeofwhimsy for encouraging me to do this and letting me live react while reading in our discord DMs :)

[goldengoddess]

soooo the idea is a fic set during king of scars where the reader is nikolai's childhood best first and we stumble into his room one evening and we actually see him change into the demon and just absjajnsns

i am yours - nikolai lantsov

* KING OF SCARS & RULE OF WOLVES SPOILERS *

pairing: nikolai lantsov x reader

a/n: okay this is absolutely garbage rae i am so sorry pls forgive me,,, i KNOW this is not how nikolai’s demon works and he wouldn’t just like turn back but for the sake of this fic pls pretend <33333

for the lovley @wtfrae !!! i love u pls go read her work everyone <3

warnings: spoilers! some angst n like threat of violence but y’all know me, everything is good and happy by the end

nikolai had always been the one person you could turn to. since the two of you were kids, it had always been an unbreakable bond. something no one else seemed to understand. how to kids, tossed aside by their family, tested in every way possible, were able to find each other and bring out the best in one another. nikolai made you better, made you good.

life in ravka was never easy, it was a constant struggle. especially in the years leading up to nikolai’s reign. the two of you almost hadn’t made it out alive then, and while nikolai had been out fighting with alina in the fold, you had stayed at the spinning wheel helping the injured.

but when things finally settled down, alina and mal safe and away, nikolai had told you so many stories. the two of you had spent months apart. so out of nostalgia, every night you’d sneak into nikolai’s room and listen to your best friend tell you stories about everything. all the battles he’d fought along as sturmhond, what the battle against the darkling had looked like.

and even when nikolai ran out of stories, and you ran out of questions, you kept sneaking into his room to talk to him. he was the king of ravka, during the day he never even stopped to take a breath. but his nights were reserved for you. just so he could hear the sound of your voice before he was bound to his bed by chains.

nikolai loved you dearly, you were the only constant he had ever known. but he couldn’t bring himself to share what had happened to him during the battle with the darkling, what he’d become. instead, he told you the stories he told everyone else, how he was captured and tortured. it hurt him, to lie to you. but he couldn’t have you seeing him the way he saw himself, a monster. so even though lying to you pained him every night, he would do it to hear your excited questions and giggles as you snuck out of his room.

he always made sure you were gone before zoya came in. he wouldn’t be able to explain the drugging potion. or even worse, his horrible transformation into the demon that lived inside of him.

but secrets almost never stay secrets.

“saints nikolai,” you gasped, rushing off his bed to grab grab your coat, “it’s past midnight. i can’t be in here!”

nikolai sat up and looked out his window, you watched the color drain from his face. he cleared his throat and walked over to you, “you’re right you should probably go.”

you nodded and shuffled away from him, but before opening the door you paused. you turned back to the blonde haired boy, “nikolai?”

“yes sweetheart?” he answered, facing you.

“i could,” you hesitated, “i could sleep over. one night, i’m not saying tonight. just some night. i’ll sleep on the floor but, i spend all of my night here anyways. just like when we were kids.”

as nikolai slowly walked closer to you, you waited for his teasing remark and eventual acceptance. the two of you w had a sleepover since before he left ravka. of course it wouldn’t be the same, as he was now king, but he was your nikolai.

instead, he gently tucked a piece of your hair and kissed your forehead. “i don’t think that’s such a good idea sweetheart.”

your heart shattered at his words and his at the fact that he had to say them. there was nothing he wanted more. nothing that would bring him more peace than holding you in his arms until the sunrise. not just for a couple of hours right before bed, not having to pretend that everything he felt for you was strictly platonic.

“oh” you said defeatedly. “that, yeah that’s okay. i’ll see you tomorrow nikolai.” and with that you rushed out of the room.

later, as zoya gave nikolai genya and david’s potion to knock him out, all he could think about was the horrible look on your face.

at some point in the night you’d made the decision to go talk to nikolai. the two of you couldn’t go on like this, attempting to be way you have been before the darkling and alina while tip toeing around these new feelings you had for eachother.

but as you made your way to nikolai’s doors, hand on the doorknob, you heard a soft growl coming from inside. you covered your mouth with your hand to prevent a gasp from escaping your lips. you slowly turned the handle and stepped into the room.

on nikolai’s kingly bed was a dark giant looking demon. it’s wings were the color of the night sky seen in the window of the bed room. it took your breath away.

you pressed your back against the wall, trying to move back towards the door without making any noise. but the demon heard you and snapped it’s head in your direction.

every part of your body was screaming to run, to scream even. but something stopped you. the eyes. they stopped you. they were dark and pitch black but there was something familiar about them. not the color but the way they watched you. like they were trying to remember every single part of you just in case.

nikolai was the only person who you knew looked at you that way.

“nikolai?” you whispered to the monster.

the creature craned its neck to the side, similar to the confused head tilts that nikolai used to give you during lessons. you took a hesitant step forward, holding your hands up to show that you weren’t going to cause harm.

“nikolai” you tried again, with more conviction in your voice.

the creature let out a small growl as a response and you flinched away. at your movement it out a whine and moved away from you.

you shuffled closer, “hey no no i’m okay. nikolai?”

slowly, as you repeated your best friends name over and over, the creature became less beast and more man. slowly morphing into a messy set of blonde curls and body you’d hugged more times than you can recall. your nikolai.

he curled up in a ball and leaned his back against the end of his bed.

“nikolai” you attempted softly, falling to your knees in front of him.

he scrambled away to a corner of the room, “please. please leave. i’m begging.” his voice was raspy from misuse, thought the two of you had spoken only hours before.

“nikolai i’m not leaving, please explain to me. what was that?” you pleaded with him.

“that was nothing, now go. please please” he sobbed into his hands.

you crossed your arms over your chest in a stubborn gesture that he couldn’t even see, “you’re lying to me again! i’m not leaving until you explain what that was. why can’t you tell me the truth for once?”

“that was me!” he yelled as he lifted his head and met your eyes for the first time.

you let out a sigh of relief at the familiar hazel color of his eyes. you crossed your legs together, “that was you?”

“yes that was me. that is what the darkling did to me. now please,” he let out an exhausted sob “please leave sweetheart.”

you felt tears swelling in your own eyes at his voice. how broken he sounded. your nikolai never sounded so defeated. and if he ever felt that way, he had never shown you. you crawled over to him slowly and placed your hands on the sides of his face, rubbing away the tears.

“what are you doing” he whimpered and dropped his head into your hands, “i could hurt you. sweetheart, you have to go.”

“my nikolai” you whispered, pushing his damp hair away from his forehead.

he closed his eyes and you couldn’t tell if it was from anger, exhaustion, sadness, or a mix of all of it. “i cannot be yours. i’ve lied to you, i’m a demon, a monster. you can’t possibly want me to be yours.” he spit each word about himself as if it were venom, like the words ripped away a little bit of his humanity, or his confidence.

you shook your head and softly placed your forehead again his, still holding the sides of his face. “no. you’re my nikolai. you always will be.”

you placed two soft kisses on his cheeks, one on each side. “my” kiss, “nikolai,” another kiss.

“oh sweetheart, i am yours” he sighed and opened up his knees so you could fall into his embrace. “i am so sorry.”

“you should be” you mumbled into his chest. “what if you had died nikolai? and i wouldn’t have known what was happening to you until it was too late. i could have helped.”

he kissed the top of your head, still hesitantly. “im a fool, you can spend the rest of my life reminding me. i didn’t want to ruin this, us. it’s the last precious thing i have in my life.”

“we are still precious” you whispered and clung to his shirt like your life depended on it. “the same way you are still the nikolai i have always known, since childhood. you are still good. we will fix this.”

“and if we can’t?” he asked so softly that you almost couldn’t hear him.

“then i’ll have to get just as familiar with the demon as i am with you” you joked.

and the rumble of nikolai’s laughing chest told you that everything would be perfectly fine. demon and all, he was still your nikolai.

taglist;

@deardiarystuff @bookishcrows @kazsimp @vintagebitc @obiwansjedi @thegirlwiththeimpala @hybrid-in-progress @mrs-brekker15 @mrsbrekkers @simplyluvzuko @ode-to-joy @gallysonegoodlung @sixofshadowandbone @castielcouldbeasecretdentist @meiitanoia @caaarstairs @itisroe

if your name is in bold, it means i couldn’t tag you <3

[popopretty]

Storm Bringer Spoilers (10)

A small part from the Epilogue where Chuuya and Dazai met up with Dr. Wollstonecraft. It was from one of the translation requests I got long ago and this part is fun, everyone is so adorable, so here it is.

Feel free to retranslate if you want. Just note that I am not a native speaker in either Japanese or English so I make mistakes sometimes.

Chuuya went back to the pier, and as he was about to get on his bike, a black car slowly approached him. The window at the back seat slowly came down and the person inside called out, "Chuuya".

That was Dazai. It was a rare sight. He had his black suit and his tie on, the formal attire for guests greeting.

"Work is in five minutes."

Chuuya and Dazai were standing under the gangway of a luxury passenger ship.

That was a ridiculously expensive fancy liner. The ship that Shirase had boarded before that was incomparable to it, both in size and materials. Its paint was chalk-white without a spot, the five-story guest rooms were decorated like the finest hotels. No matter where the passengers went, they would be accompanied by a skilled guide on board. The ship was also known for its navigational capability. Even when it sailed at twice the speed of an ordinary ship, its turbulence was less than one tenth of a normal one.

That ship was called "The Boswellian".

The government's passenger ship that only high-ranking government officials were allowed to board.

The gangway was lowered and delegation descended in front of Chuuya and Dazai's eyes.

First were the guardsmen in black suits. They cautiously looked around at all directions. The bulges around their waists showed that they were all carrying guns.

After that came some bearded men who looked like officials. Old, capable, with gray brown eyes that showed no hints of what they were thinking. Their clothes were of top-quality. A man carrying a cane with a golden spiral pattern on it was pushing the crew who was trying to help him off board with the tip of his cane, so crudely as if he was chasing away a stray dog on the street.

"The noble demons of England have showed up." Dazai murmured in a voice that only Chuuya who was standing next to him could hear.

Those people were high-ranking officials of the British government who came here for the post-incident investigation, the “Assassination King incident" that occurred through multiple levels of state secrets. A team of investigators were dispatched to Japan to investigate this serious case that went beyond a normal criminal case, and report to the government. And Port Mafia had come forward to welcome the team and cooperate with them in the investigation, as a party to the case.

Illegal organization Port Mafia is in charge of welcoming the investigation team of the British government.

It was an odd situation, but there was a certain rationale and calculation of the Boss behind it.

First of all, the one who had the whole picture of the incident this time was neither the Ministry of Foreign Affairs nor the police, but Port Mafia. As from the beginning, the European governments had been trying to hide it completely from the Japanese government. Also from the Port Mafia side, they also had a reason to keep a close eye on the movements of the mighty British government.

That was because they suspected that these people might try to eliminate every person of Port Mafia who was involved in this incident to cover up the "Assasination King incident" that arose from the state secrets.

Obviously, Port Mafia had no intention to reveal the truth and the secrets of the case. But it was hard to tell how much the British would believe in words of a criminal organization. That was why Dazai was sent to greet them. If they really had the intention to eliminate the people involved, Dazai would have to negotiate to stop that from happening. If the negotiation failed, then Port Mafia would have to eliminate the investigation team before the other party had the chance to eliminate them. That was why Chuuya was accompanying him. Depending on the other party's actions, this might turn into an interstate war that involved the whole Port Mafia.

“Well, let the fun deception game begin.”, Dazai said excitedly as he headed towards the investigation team.

The guard men immediately reacted to the person approaching, their hands reaching for their waists where the guns were.

“Thank you for coming all the way here, ladies and gentlemen of the great British Empire.” Dazai's attitude changed completely as he greeted the guests with a fluent and courteous voice. “You must be the members of the investigation team? I know this is sudden but may I ask who your representative is?”

“Representative?” the guardsman whom Dazai directed this question to looked rather confused and tilted his head. "This is the technical advisory unit of the investigation team so if you say representative, I think that might be Dr. Wollstonecraft...”

Dr. Wollstonecraft?

Chuuya tilted his head. He had heard that name somewhere before.

“Aa!” Dazai seemed to get it right away. “I heard that name before. That’s the skilled engineer who designed Investigator Adam Frankenstein, right? Hmm... you must be Dr. Wollstonecraft then?” Dazai followed the gazed of the guardsman and called out to the most dignified and oldest man in the investigation team. He had a shaggy white beard, a receding hairline, and two medals for achievements in the military science sector pinned to his chest.

The old man noticed Dazai’s voice and laughed out cheerfully.

“No no, I’m not Dr. Wollstonecraft. I’m just tagging along. Doctor is... Look! She's getting off the ship right now.”

Dazai and Chuuya followed the old man’s eyes and looked up at the ship’s gangway. At the top of it, an oversized travel suitcase was left there unassisted. Wait...

“Okay. Nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Wollstonecraft... Oh so this is the said country? It looks bigger than on the map.”

The small figure that appeared from behind the suitcase, no matter how you looked at her...

“... How old is that?”

That was a little girl.

Blond hair, white blouse. The suitcase was big, but she was also small enough to be completely hidden behind it. She wore a big pair of round glasses that covered half of her face. And on her chest were more than twenty medals for achievements in science.

“Hey hey...” Chuuya made a drawn face.

“Oh! It's getting interesting.” Dazai laughed happily.

The little girl struggled down the gangway. She was holding the oversized suitcase, or rather, clinging onto it as it dragged her downwards.

“Heave ho! I am.. heave-ho... Dr... heave-ho! Wollstonecraft Godwin Shelley, heave-ho!”. The girl spoke every time she got off one step, still clinging on to the heavy luggage. “People call me the girl with a genius brain but, heave-ho, those are people who don't have the ability to see the essence of things. Heave-ho! My achievements are thanks to my special skill that make any designs possible. Heave-ho! And because I am a genius.”

“Hey, aren't you going to help her with that heavy luggage?” Chuuya couldn't stand it anymore and asked the bearded old man next to him.

“Hahaha. Doctor is the type of person who doesn't want anyone to touch her luggage.” the old man laughed cheerfully. "Even Her Majesty wouldn't be able to take that from her. Because if we do so, she will start crying and screaming, just like a kid who has gone back 10 years in time."

“If she goes back that much, isn't she gonna end up in her mother’s belly again...?” Chuuya said with a tired face.

“Also, she may look like that, but Doctor was really looking forward to this trip. That case is filled with her favorite essentials for this trip. No-one will be able to take it from her.”

“Old man! Don’t go around talking about me like I am just a normal little girl! I might be short but I will be a full-grown decent adult very soon.... heave-ho!”

Dr. Shelley finally got to the end of the gangway. She wiped off the sweat on her face and fixed her clothes with her hands. “Phew! Nice to meet you again, people of Japan. Well... you are Chuuya-kun right? Thanks for taking care of Adam.”

Upon hearing Adam’s name, Chuuya's face looked like he just shallowed a bitter thing down his throat. "I am not sure." , he then said. "The one who was taken care of was me."

The little girl fixed the big glasses to the middle of her face and stared at Chuuya.

“He died saving me... Doctor, Adam is your best work, right? I'm sorry for breaking it.”

“Hmm.”

Doctor Shelley observed Chuuya from the left, from the right, then stared at him closely from the front. Like she was observing an interesting research subject.

"You are right, Adam is my greatest work." , she said with her arms crossed. “Rather than sending him to a good-for-nothing island country like this for investigation, I’d have him in the lab and continue the research to upgrade him.”

Chuuya listened in silence. His expression was not looking at something in front of him at that moment. What he was seeing was some scenes of the past.

Doctor Shelley cleared her throat like a child then continued, “The best thing about Adam is that, he is equipped with the intelligence to think and judge the situation by himself. In other words, Adam chose to sacrifice himself out of his own will, his own judgement.” Dr. Shelley smiled. “Because you are worth it. I believe in Adam. I appreciate your apology, but it’s not something you need to worry about.”

Chuuya opened his mouth, trying to say something but he couldn't put it into words. Just like a child who had forgotten his way home, he just stood there with a stunned look on his face.

Seeing Chuuya like that, Dazai giggled as if he couldn't do anything about it.

“First off, from the beginning I didn't like the idea of using Adam for such a worthless investigation.” Dr. Shelley crossed her arms, looking sullen. “The government is always like that! They send out machine investigators for missions and when they are done with it, they just blow it up together with all the secret information. Even though we could have got the best test data from interacting with different cultures from those solo missions! Just because it's for the sake of human's life, they think that they can neglect science like that?”

To Chuuya and Dazai’s surprise, Doctor Shelley ordered her subordinate for “that” and had a black tube the length of an arm brought to her.

"That's why, such an ill-natured person like me had installed a detachable sub-processor and non-volatile memory. Without telling the government.” She took out the thing inside the black tube. “In here.”

The thing inside the tube that had the length of an arm, was actually an arm.

That was Adam’s right arm, the arm that Chuuya sent flying and stuck into the ground when he was escaping from inside of the Demonic Beast Guivre.

“This is...” , a question mark appeared on Chuuya’s face. “After the incident, I searched the scene but couldn't find it anywhere. Why is it here?”

“I mean, it's rather obvious to do this, isn't it?” Dr. Shelley put her finger on her huge travel suitcase. After her vital signals were verified, the auto-lock was released.

The figure that came out from the suitcase took the arm. And he said as he was attaching it to himself, “Do you want to hear an Android joke, Chuuya-sama?”

Chuuya stood still in shock. He kept his mouth open in surprise. Finally, he took a breath slowly through that mouth. A deep breath, as deep as he could. Then his expression changed as if he was about to burst.

And he laughed, "Hahaha...!"

[along-came-atsushi]

The way Dazai protects Atsushi

When we imagine someone who is protective, mostly it is a person who bursts into a fit of rage or someone who heroically and willingly throws away their own life if it means to protect others. A good example for this would be Kunikida’s actions on several occasions. Dazai is less a person to obviously show rage or to heroically throw himself in front of someone.

Which doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care at all, it’s quite the contrary. And it’s sometimes very subtle and tricky, because he always has plans within plans and tries to achieve several goals with a single plan.

.

I will only focus here on Dazai’s actions that solely have to do with Atsushi. I’m not going to bring up every single hidden agenda or goal Dazai is also trying to achieve.

In addition, this post has been tagged as #Dazatsu just to be safe. But of course it can be read from a platonic POV.

.

Beware: Spoilers starting from chapter 83 and for 55 Minutes!

.

How Dazai gets Atsushi into the ADA

Dazai practically tricked and then it may seem like he pressured Atsushi into joining the ADA, even after Atsushi already said that he doesn’t want to join:

The reason for Atsushi’s refusal was not that he didn’t want to join, because he just simply didn’t want to join. But because he lacks the self-confidence in taking a task like this. He doesn’t believe in himself and his abilities and thinks he isn’t fit for the job. This lack of self-confidence together with the fact that Atsushi constantly gets pushed by either people around him or his circumstances to keep relying on himself rather than others runs like a red string through his story.

Dazai on the other hand sees a great potential in Atsushi. In the moment where Atsushi saved him from drowning, he already planned to team him up with Akutagawa. Not only because of their abilities and their compatibility in battle. But because Atsushi would be the person to “teach Akutagawa how to put that sword away”. In other words: to value life. Which is something that Dazai wasn’t able to teach Akutagawa (I covered this in another meta and won’t explain it here any further).

Another reason is that the things Dazai states above are simply the truth: If Atsushi doesn’t join, then there is nothing the ADA can do to help him (or it would be much harder and complicated for them). He needs to do everything a normal adult in society has to do, which is harder for Atsushi than other people, since he has been abruptly kicked out of his orphanage without any further help or assistance. Not to mention that he is perceived as a monster and not in control of his own ability, and therefore a wanted criminal and dangerous ability user. This could lead Atsushi in either getting killed or falling into the hands of other shady organizations who have far worse intentions for him. Saying the above is less Dazai trying to manipulate Atsushi and more him just telling what would happen and to be realistic.

Having Atsushi join the ADA for Dazai does not only help Atsushi to live a safer life and make it easier for Dazai to keep an eye out for him, but also to give Atsushi the chance to safe other people in the progress.

.

The Entrance Exam

Since Atsushi refused there was no way for Dazai to have him join the ADA the easy way and then only later testing if he really was worthy of being a true member. Just like it has been the case with Dazai’s entrance exam (Dazai freely joined the ADA after being recommended and was perceived as a new member immediately. Only during his first case with Kunikida was he secretly being tested of being worthy, which he succeeded). Therefore, a plan under a pretext was needed in order to test Atsushi and convince him to join.

During the ADA’s meeting for planning Atsushi’s entrance exam (which is told in the first part of the ‘Untold Story of the ADA’ novel) Dazai anticipated that Atsushi would either convince the bomber (played by Tanizaki) or somehow defuse the bomb himself. Neither of his predictions happened, instead Atsushi was willing to sacrifice himself so that he could protect others. This selfless action honestly surprised Dazai, which not many people are able to achieve, because he always predicts their actions:

Since it’s been hinted by Dazai that he already lost other people close to him in his life, even before Ango’s betrayal and Odasaku’s death, Atsushi’s action probably could’ve served as a trigger for him. He had to realize that there is a possibility that Atsushi would sacrifice himself to protect others. Especially since he doesn’t deem his own life as worthy and has been told many times to be useless and to “just die in a ditch somewhere.”

.

“Stalking” Higuchi

Dazai immediately recognized Higuchi to be a PM member and that she’s contacting the ADA under disguise for ulterior motives. The scene with Higuchi is a good example that Dazai does many things which either annoys other people (flirting with her) or are seen as him just being lazy and/or fooling around (listening to music and singing), while in reality he is already following a hidden plan.

Flirting with Higuchi distracts her and everyone else from Dazai slipping a wiretap in her jacket. It helps him to let everyone just act naturally without the possibility of revealing anything by accident. Furthermore, it makes people underestimate Dazai, because for everyone else he was just fooling around.

Due to the reason that the PM contacted the ADA under disguise as soon as Atsushi was their new member could have been already suspicious for Dazai, suspecting that it has something to do with Atsushi and was not just a regular attack on the ADA. Later on, this gets confirmed when it’s been stated that The Guild set a bounty on Atsushi for some reason.

.

Is Dazai following Atsushi around?

When Atsushi accompanies Ranpo on his murder case Dazai surprisingly shows up:

This meeting could be just a coincidence, of course. After all it’s just Dazai fooling around again (or in this case, trying to commit suicide again). But since the case with Higuchi has shown that Dazai loves to pretend to do something else, when he in reality is following a hidden agenda, it might be that he showed up there on purpose. Maybe just to see how Atsushi was faring and to eventually intervene if something serious would happen (like he did when Atsushi and Akutagawa were fighting for the first time). Especially with the PM on Atsushi’s tail now.

In chapter 84 it has been revealed that Dazai indeed does have an eye on Atsushi. When he can’t do that himself anymore, he makes sure to ask Akutagawa to keep an eye on him instead:

.

Going far for Atsushi’s sake

After getting to know about the bounty, Dazai lets himself get captured by the PM on purpose, without informing any other ADA members, and stays inside the prison until seemingly a right time draws near. He is willing to do this, even though he knows full well that he is perceived as a traitor and that certain people will not welcome him with open arms.

When Chuuya mentions that he suspects that Dazai must be here for a certain reason, Dazai then states that he does all of this mostly for Atsushi. He even goes so far as to provoke a second punch in the face from Akutagawa, by belittling him in saying that Atsushi is a better subordinate than him, after Akutagawa threatens to kill Atsushi.

.

Probably the most visible scene where Dazai openly shows anger and shock towards someone hurting Atsushi (or hurting someone he cares about in general) is during the incident with Q:

He doesn’t act like this again the second time when Atsushi brings him the doll to nullify Q’s ability, even though the whole city is in chaos. He’s also less concerned about Naomi and Haruno in that moment and more focused on Atsushi during this. Which doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care at all for others, knowing that Naomi and Haruno are able to handle their situation (which is confirmed by them later). But it also shows that Atsushi is his main priority.

Throughout the story Atsushi slowly notices this himself. At first he is hesitant to believe that he is Dazai’s “most trusted subordinate” and worries that Dazai might be mad with him should he go overboard with something (e.g. during 55 Minutes when he was able to surprise Dazai who was hiding in the trash can).

He only ever claims to have Dazai’s trust, if it means to provoke Akutagawa (which he does for a different reason, but I’m not going to expand on this here). Later, he even wonders how Dazai would react/look if Akutagawa came back with the news of him having died: 

Which means that Atsushi’s former mentality of people not caring should he die gets replaced by having someone actually be mad/sad about this.

.

Hiding his “dark side”

It may not be that visible in the anime, since some scenes are either left out or interpreted for the sake of jokes. But the manga makes it clear that Dazai struggles with guilt because of his own past (e.g. when Atsushi asks the other ADA members what they’ve done before joining the ADA, aside from everyone else Dazai looks away. This suggests that this question and the closely related memories of it are uncomfortable for him. Another example is his reaction when he asks Kyouka how many people she has killed).

Dazai is well aware that he can’t hide his past from Atsushi forever and that he sooner or later will find out. This is then almost immediately revealed to him by Akutagawa.

However Dazai still tries to hide his “dark side” from Atsushi. Apparently, he doesn’t want him to see that he’s capable of being cruel or that Atsushi may become too aware of anything that could reveal more of Dazai’s past and the things he has done. During certain situations Dazai purposefully doesn’t let Atsushi go or stay with him:

1.) When he pushed Atsushi out of the room to “interrogate” Kouyou:

2.) When he pretended to need to use the bathroom, because he knew they were being followed:

3.) When he meets Ango:

(Even Kouyou comments on how Dazai lets Atsushi out of certain business.)

The reasons for this may be that he’s afraid to reveal this “dark side” of him to Atsushi and that he doesn’t want to drag him into the business of the underworld. It could also be that he’s afraid that Atsushi might see him in a different light and that he’ll turn deprecating towards him. As of now Atsushi doesn’t know the full extent of Dazai’s past and actions. But due the fact that he’s aware that Dazai was a former PM member (an executive even), he must also be aware that some answers will be frightening. Furthermore, he must also already have some ideas about Dazai’s past.

Throughout the story Atsushi has been shown to be sympathetic with different characters, trying to understand their actions or the reason that drives them. Even when these characters fought against or tried to kill him in the past (Kyouka, Lucy, Akutagawa, Fitzgerald, Sigma). Therefore, I doubt that Atsushi will see Dazai in a different/negative light, should his past be fully revealed. But this is something Dazai may not anticipate, since he doesn’t see himself as a good person and as someone worthy of redemption.

 .

Dazai believes in Atsushi

Dazai has an overwhelming believe in Atsushi and his abilities. He reassures and compliments him from the very beginning:

“Nice, Atsushi. You’re like a real detective already! It’s such a joy to see you grow up so fast!” [After being send back in time] “Ha-ha-ha! I never thought you’d be able to scare me like that! You’ve grown Atsushi!” – 55 Minutes

.

“Oooh!” Dazai squealed in excitement. “Look at you, Atsushi! Impressive!” – 55 Minutes

Contrary to Atsushi, who struggles to acknowledge his own self-worth and has little to no faith in his own abilities.

This is the reason why Dazai sometimes pushes Atsushi (not only literally but also figuratively) to do things on his own, whenever he realizes that Atsushi is hesitating. He’s throwing him in at the deep, in order for Atsushi to learn more self-confidence:

He sends him on several missions alone (e.g. sneaking into the Moby Dick) or with other people (e.g. Akutagawa), because he knows that Atsushi is able to do this, even without him:

“[…] It’s up to you to prove the detective agency’s innocence and set us free. You can do it, right?” Atsushi knew – Dazai only asked people if they could do it when he was certain they could. – 55 Minutes

Atsushi’s actions get firmly planned into Dazai’s predictions, knowing that he will choose the right decision:

This great believe in Atsushi gets also noticed by other people (e.g. Mark Twain and Akutagawa):

.

In return

Dazai’s positive influence on Atsushi also has a positive effect on his psyche: The headmaster’s voice and image inside his mind – the person who always drags him down, tells him to be useless and that he will “not make it” – slowly gets replaced by Dazai’s voice and image – the person who cheers him up and tells him to believe in himself:

It’s no doubt that Dazai was the person who helped Atsushi to live a better life and he is perceived as “the man who saved me” by Atsushi himself. For this reason and his self-confidence Atsushi admires Dazai and is grateful to him.

But on the other hand, Atsushi was also willing to save Dazai despite his dire situation. Not only does Atsushi put Dazai on a pedestal, it is also Dazai who puts Atsushi on a pedestal and who sees him as the person able to help, protect and maybe even change others.

[thelovelylolly]

Unexpected yet welcomed

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 OF THE MANDALORIAN! I MADE SURE TO PUT PROPER TAGS BUT PLEASE REBLOG OR COMMENT IF I NEED TO ADD MORE SPOILER WARNINGS!

Summary : Before Din went on that bounty and saved the child, you and him had been married. You were also a hunter but he started to take more jobs in order to provide. Just your luck that you became pregnant when Din took the child and now you, him and the child are being hunted down by Moff Gideon. Now, Gideon took the kid and Din went to bring your adopted son back. But something unexpected happens...

Warnings : Pregnancy and everything that comes along with that (labor also i don’t know a lot about pregnancy haha), female reader, some typical mando violence, few uses of Y/N (sorry lol), SEASON 2 SPOILERS, not proof read

Notes : I’m writing this quickly and before the last episode is released so that I don’t have to rewrite everything to fit the timeline. Anyway, woke up and had this idea. Here we go

“You’re staying on the ship unless I say otherwise. I can’t risk you or the baby. Keep your comm link open, contact me if anything happens, alright?” Din said, well, more like ordered. You nodded and sighed happily. Your husband was always protective of you, and now the child and your baby.

“I will, hun. You stay safe, okay?” You replied, slowly sitting yourself down on one of the chairs in Slave I’s hull. Since you lost the Razor Crest, a old bounty hunter and foundling named Boba Fett let you and Din stay on the ship until you got Grogu back. 

“Okay. I love you.” Din said, just loud enough for you to hear.

“I love you, too.” You said back, smiling up at your mandalorian. He nodded and went to join the small group he gathered to get Grogu back and take care of Gideon. It consisted of Cara Dune, Boba Fett, Fennec Shand, and Greef Karga. Sure it was a small group, but they were fighters.

The group found a entrance hatch on top of Gideon’s ship and made their way in through there, leaving you alone. You turned to the little control center Boba had on his ship and got into Gideon’s ship system. You could track Din and the others from there along with Moff Gideon.

-------

It started off fine, Din got to the child easily and now they had to figure a way back out. You watched the system on the control center to keep track of them, seeing troopers and who you assumed was Gideon trying to get to the group. It was going fine...

...until you felt a sharp pain.

You groaned and turned your chair to face away from the control center, holding your stomach in pain. You weren’t due for another few weeks. Another pain followed after the first, a little bit more intense. You felt the baby kick alongside the pain. As your breathing picked up and you started to feel warmer, you realized that this wasn’t your baby joking around. You were going into labor.

You quickly grabbed your comm link off of the control center’s surface and held it near your mouth. “Din,” you paused to suck in some air since you started to slightly panic. “How much longer are you guys gonna take?”

“Some troopers are blocking our way to the ship, we’re figuring out another way to get there. Why? Are you okay?” Din asked, blaster fire in the background.

“I think the baby’s coming, please hurry.” You answered, gripping the comm link and chair until your knuckles turned white. 

“Dank farrik, stay calm for me, okay cyar’ika? We’ll try our best to get their as fast as possible.” Din said, practically promising you. You sat your comm link back down on the control center and focused on your breathing, panic was bad for the baby. 

You stood up to walk around, hoping it will help a little bit, but when you looked at your chair, it was covered in something. Your water broke. Honestly, you never wanted to have a baby. When you met Din, you thought it wasn’t gonna last. But then you two got married and he wanted a kid, so you decided one kid wouldn’t hurt. You were wrong, it hurt. It hurt a lot. So much that you had to lay down, somewhere. 

The floor would have to do for the time being.

You could feel yourself start sweating, your long sleeve shirt not helping. Why were you so warm? A intense pain shot through your body, causing you to gasp and groan in pain. “Y/N? Y/N!” Din’s voice yelled through the comm link, causing you to slowly get up and grab it, leaning against the control center.

“Yea?” You said, gripping the edge of the control center.

“Check the system and tell us if there’s any danger between us and the ship, we think we found a path.” Din said. You hummed an answer and checked their position then ran the path to the ship. 

“You guys are good to go, just hurry up.” You answered, closing your eyes just to shut everything out for a second. You needed to calm yourself if you wanted to make it through this. 

“Great, just stay calm and relaxed for me, okay? We’ll leave as soon as we can.” Din said through the comms, followed by a coo. Grogu. You smiled at the sound of your adopted son being safe and sound in his father’s arms. You sat down in the chair and continued to breath in and out, trying to ignore the pain that came in waves every few minutes. 

Minutes after your comm link conversation, Din came through the small hole connecting Slave I and Gideon’s ship with Grogu in his arms. “Cyar’ika.” Din said breathlessly, immediately going to your side. Greef boarded the ship after Din, followed by Fennec then Cara. Finally, Boba got through and they closed the hole. Boba went straight for the cockpit and set a course to Nevarro.

-------

After a few long hours in the small medical center on Nevarro, you safely delivered a healthy baby boy. Cara and Greef were watching the child so you and Din could have some alone time with the new baby. The nurses left you and your beskar covered husband alone in the small room they set you up in.

Din carefully took off his helmet, setting it near him in case someone decided to walk in on you two. “He’s so tiny.” Din said, admiring how careful you held your son.

“He is.” You replied, your eyes glued on the new born. “What are we gonna name him?”

Din thought for a moment. “Do you remember Kuill, the ugnaught that sacrificed his life for Grogu?” He asked. You nodded, your gaze now fixed on Din’s brown eyes. “We should name our son Kuill.”

“Kuill...I like it.” You replied with a smile. Din smiled back at you and bent, giving you a sweet kiss. After he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours. “Would you like to hold him?” You asked.

Din was hesitant but then sat down on the edge of the bed. He carefully took off his forearm armor and reached over to you. You carefully handed over your bundled up baby to your riduur. Din held your baby like he was glass, like he could break at any moment. “Make sure you support his head.” You commented.

Din looked at his son, seeing small details of you and him in his son. After almost losing Grogu to Moff Gideon, having you safe along with Grogu and now a new son gave Din a sense of peace and calm. You saw his eyes become glossy with tears. You gently placed you hand on his shoulder, leading it up to his hair. “You okay?” You asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m just so happy.” Din replied quietly. There was a knock at the door, which caused Din to carefully and quickly hand Kuill over to you and put his helmet on along with his forearm armor. 

“Come in!” You called after Din had his helmet on. Cara and Greef walked in with Grogu in Greef’s arms. Greef handed Grogu over to Din. Grogu reached over for you and the new baby. 

“We just wanted to drop the kid off with you two. Congratulations.” Cara said, smiling. You nodded as a thank you and the two left. Your eyes drifted between Grogu and Kuill, smiling. 

“I think Grogu and his new brother are gonna get along.” Din spoke up, his modulator reminding you that he had his helmet on. He could take it off, but you weren’t gonna ask, you didn’t care.

“Me too.” You replied, smiling. You couldn’t stop smiling. Finally, after running around with Din on bounties then protecting Grogu while pregnant paid off. You and your small family were happy and safe.

[thefanficmonster]

I'm so happy you like the idea! Your first three words are: Rattle, Candlelight and Corset.

Oh this is gonna be interesting 🤭

Regretting

Pairing: Chris Redfield x Female OC (taken in by the Winters family as a daughter of theirs basically)

Warnings: Swearing (No Spoilers for any games don’t worry😊)

Genre: Romance, Fluff

Enjoy the mess my brain’s produced. Love, Vy ❤

“I have several questions surrounding this bullshit event!“ Gwen shouts from inside her room where she’s been getting ready for the past hour with the Captains of the BSAA keeping a watchful eye outside her door, making sure she doesn’t get any ideas of running away.

“I have as many as you do, trust me on that one.“ He replies, readjusting his tie. He hasn’t found himself in a three-piece-suit in a long time, all’s been soldier get-ups, bulletproof wests and combat boots. Truth be told, it’s not that he doesn’t want to dress nicely, he’s just rarely had any occasions worth dressing up for. Lord knows he’d be at home in this very moment, seated on the couch with a cold beer bottle in his hand. So to make the truth truer - he actively avoids places and events that would require him dressing up. It’s simply a hassle in and of itself, but dealing with the people at the even - that’s what he’s most bothered by.

“You cannot expect me to believe that’s the truth!“ Gwen shouts again, the sound of shuffling accompanying her voice. 

“Leon said it was important, Jill backed him up and you know I rarely get a say when the two of them partner up to support one another.“ Chris says, sighing while reaching for a cigarette before withdrawing his hand, remembering he didn’t take his pack with him on purpose. Claire says he needs to break the habit little by little so, in order to give her peace of mind, he does try whenever she’s looking. However, when she turns away, he’s quick to light a cig, almost as quick as a dying man getting connected to life support.

“You, Leon and I have very different definitions of the word ‘important’.“ She sasses back, her voice now being the only sound coming from the room which is a sign Chris cannot decide the meaning of - is she almost done? Is she starting over with everything? Either way, he doesn’t mind. Running late to the gala the mayor’s throwing is not particularly bothering him, he actually prefers it.

What’s been bothering him is the fact that he’s found himself impatient of something else. Impatient of seeing her - not that he’d ever admit it. Him and Gwen have been friends for quite some time. Well, they did get off on the wrong foot, but were quick to arrange a relationship alike a friendship and function without wanting to gauge each other’s eyes out. Somewhere along the lines they became actual friends without even noticing.

Gwen Winters had every right to be suspicious of Captain Chris Redfield. Not that she was always wary of him or anything - seeing as how him and her ‘parents’ are friends, she never thought twice about the guy. However, when she expressed interest in joining the BSAA and earned herself a scoff from him, she was rather pissed. Being the main chemistry project of an asshole with a saving-the-world complex back in Raccoon City, it’s safe to say she got some above average strength to her name. And that’s putting it mildly. Being rescued from that lab by Leon and getting taken in by the Winters family, she’s developed her own hero complex, the need to save those who can’t save themselves always dwelling within her.

And so, despite the amusement Chris showed when she brought up the idea, she became a BSAA soldier. 

“I think we established that on your very first mission, soldier.“ Chris chuckles, recalling that first mission he was so opposed to, mostly because Gwen was tagging along at her request and the allowance of Leon. He was very fucking afraid they’d have to carry her dead body out of there but the action was quick to turn the tables on him - having Gwen save his life more than once. What surprised him most though was her humbleness about it. She didn’t rub it in or nag him about having proved her point. She was just glad they had all made it out in one piece and that struck him with a whole new intensity. Almost like a wake up call.

The door beside him suddenly swings open, causing him to abruptly straighten up from his leaning position, shooting a look at the doorway from which emerges Gwen. Or at least he believes it’s her. Had he not known she was the only other person in the house at the moment, or had he seen her passing by on the street he wouldn’t have recognized her.

And he’d have every right not to: this must be the first time she has worn a dress since prom - if she even wore one then - and the same probably applies for the make-up she’s put on. It’s not much or anything, in fact the only reason he’s noticed it is because he’s so used to seeing her make-up-free face. So much so, he’d recognize even a drop of foundation if she applied it. And oh boy, is he whipped by the sight. He can lie all he wants and to whoever he wants to, but he cannot lie to himself. Especially not when his jaw has fallen to the floor, his eyes have grown wide and his heartbeat has picked up noticeably.

If Ethan could hear at least half of what Chris is thinking at the moment, he’d be as good as banned from the Winters home forever.

When Gwen’s eyes meet her Captain’s, she can’t help but smirk, “What is it, Cap? I exchange the bulletproof vest for a corset and you suddenly don’t recognize me?” She asks, raising a teasing eyebrow.

He knows it’s wrong, for so many reasons: He’s her captain, she’s his soldier; She’s an adult but he’s still significantly older than her; She’s the ‘daughter’ of a friend of his, to make matters even worse - It’s so wrong yet he can’t get the thought out of his head. It’s not just now, it’s something he’s been struggling with for quite some time. He’s constantly haunted by her: the sound of her laughter, her smile, that focused frown that appears every time she is looking at a map or a new case, analyzing its every detail, the twinkle in her eyes whenever she gets told she’ll be going on a mission and that same sparkle growing brighter when she returns from it having successfully completed it.

It’s all overwhelming, and in the nicest, wrongest way possible.

“Honestly, Winters, seeing such a shift does rattle a person. Especially when I haven’t seen you out of a soldier’s uniform for years now.“ He comments, his eyes traveling up and down her body on their own accord, despite his best attempts at keeping his gaze on her face.

She laughs, “Can’t really go to training in a dress and high heels, you know. If I had more opportunities, the dresses in my closet wouldn’t be covered in spiderwebs.“

“Duly noted.“ He smirks, offering the young lady his hand as he leads her down the stairs, “I could help you out with that.“

She frowns, pausing mid-step, “Oh no, no, no no. If what you have in mind is a bunch of charity events, you better get that thought out of your head. A bunch of rich assholes drinking champagne, really not my scene.”

Chris chuckles offering her his arm as they walk out the front door to where he parked his car upon arriving at the Winters home, running into Ethan, Mia and their five year old daughter, about to head out for the night. He won’t complain about the lecturing he received, he deserved it after all. It’s a miracle the two even agreed to let Gwen accompany him, not that they could stop her either way seeing as how she’s an adult woman who’s more than capable of making her own decisions.

“No, no, I know you hate those events. I do too.“ He says, oddly timidly as the two get seated in the car. “I was thinking more along the lines of...“ He contemplates how to say it without making the rest of this night awkward, or mess things up with Gwen in any way. She means a lot to him and he’d hate to lose her over his complicated feelings he wishes he could control. “Dinner under candlelight, maybe?“

He’s as stiff as a boulder, tense and expecting something, anything. Literally anything, even outright rejection would be better than silence. Regardless of her answer, he’s gonna regret this move later when Ethan hears about it and goes to kick his ass.

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches the slight shake of her head, a blush evidently appearing on her cheeks, visible even in the dim light in the car. A small smile graces he features as her hand travels to his which is nervously resting on the gear shift. “Sure, I’d like that.” She says, her smile growing wider.

There’s that same twinkle - the sparkle in the eyes of a soldier willing to fight for the greater good, putting everyone above herself. And, on his hierarchy, she’s number one.

“I’m glad.“

Chris Redfield has regretted many things in his life and will probably regret even more in the future. However, he was a fool to think he’d regret this decision - one look at Gwen’s eyes and all regret was erased. All ass-kicking he might receive for it seems more than worth it, looking at it from the perspective of this very moment.

Then again, Captain Chris Redfield has never been a stranger to a little ass-kicking.

Thank you so much, Anon for this super fun challenge! I hope to receive more three words to turn into fics cause I really enjoyed this experience 🥰

[another-bloody-multimuse]

True Intentions

So, the latest Pokemon Masters event gave me Feelings, and therefore I had to write something for it.

Needless to say, this contains Pokemon Masters event spoilers, verbal/mental abuse, and one reference to physical child abuse.

And in case the “read more” breaks, this is also tagged as a long post.

N stepped into the cave, his heart thudding. He could see the oh-so familiar cloaked figure in the distance, and he swallowed hard. He was not alone, for which he was very grateful, but companionship was not doing much to assist his nerves. 

‘You’re sure about this?’ his companion dubiously asked. In Nate’s opinion, N was making a huge mistake, and it was not yet too late to turn back.

‘Yes. This is the answer I’ve come to. I’m sure,’ N insisted, and Nate held back a sigh. Damn it. ‘...Thank you for coming with me, though.’

‘It’s fine,’ Nate replied. ‘I wouldn’t want you to go and see him alone.’

‘Mmmm,’ N murmured. He knew only too well that Nate had a point. ‘We need to be careful when dealing with a man like… him.’

N had tripped over his words. He was uncertain how to refer to the man they were meeting. “Ghetsis”? “Father”? As much as he wanted to call the man “Father”... it was too soon. Much too soon for that.

‘I’m still a little worried,’ N confessed, after a pregnant pause.

‘Yeah, well no matter what happens, I’m on your side,’ Nate promised.

‘Thank you…’

Any further conversation was cut off,  by a sudden interruption. 

‘N! You’ve come to see me!’ a voice called out. For a moment, N froze; when they entered, Ghetsis had his back to them. His and Nate’s conversation had been in whispers, and he had assumed Ghetsis had not seen them yet. 

He shook himself out of his reverie, his face calm, stoic, as he turned to lock eyes once again with the man he called Father, his abuser.

At least in appearance, Ghetsis had not changed. N sincerely hoped that was the only thing that remained static. Incredibly tall, Ghetsis towered over those he met, and his own son was no exception. He still used a cane. N’s gaze lowered to the gloved hand that held onto it, as his mind helplessly wandered to thoughts of what was hidden beneath the cloak. Was Ghetsis’ health the same? Had it improved? Or perhaps worsened?

That was the most likely scenario; Ghetsis always had a great love of expensive wines, scotches and other such alcoholic drinks, and it had taken its toll on him. Combined with one arm, the nerves permanently damaged by his Hydreigon, Ghetsis was an incredibly unhealthy man. 

N lifted his head, staring his father in the eyes. One was still covered, and the other just as vividly scarlet as he remembered. It was difficult for him to maintain eye contact, but he forced himself to push through it. 

‘I’ve come to let you know my answer,’ N declared. He had taken a quiet, deep breath in before speaking, to ensure his voice would not wobble, nor crack.

His head had been spinning, ever since Ghetsis initially approached him. Wanting to be a father to him again…

Though in order for him to be a father “again”, he had to have been one before. N knew that, deep down. But it was a thought he tried to keep pushed to the back of his mind. 

‘Let’s send out our Pokemon,’ N added, when Ghetsis remained silent, just observing him. 

Zekrom and Kyurem were both released from their Pokeballs, two thirds of the Tao Trio coming eye to eye with one another again for the first time in years. 

‘Well? What’s your answer?’ Ghetsis demanded. Still so impatient. 

‘...I don’t think it’s possible for us to become a true father and son so easily…’ N cautiously replied. His nerves were threatening to spill over, and he grabbed the brim of his cap. Something to focus on, while under his father’s scarlet gaze. ‘But… if you’ve really had a change of heart, and are seriously prepared to face people and Pokemon, then… maybe one day, it will be. That’s why I need you to show me that you have love in your heart -’

Ghetsis, the lower half of his face hidden by his incredibly high collar, clenched his jaw together tightly. How the fuck was he going to do that?

‘- through battle!’

Oh. The former Plasma leader relaxed. That was alright, then.

‘Father!’ The word escaped N’s lips, as he called out to the man before him. Ghetsis’ eyes slid shut.

‘I am grateful you’ve given me this opportunity…’ he started, his voice soft. N’s demeanour changed a little - Ghetsis was accepting what he said? Then maybe, just maybe, he had been telling the truth, after all! If Ghetsis could work on his issues, and treat those around him like human beings, and N himself like one, instead of an extension of Ghetsis, then -

‘Thank you for this chance.’ Ghetsis’ voice pulled N out of his thoughts again. The Plasma leader’s face twisted into a wicked grin, as he leant forward on his cane, a malicious glint in his eye. ‘To capture Zekrom for myself!’

No. No, please, God, no -

‘What?’ N gasped. The words left him winded, as though Ghetsis had struck him with his cane.

And it was a feeling he remembered all too well.

‘Now! Restrain Zekrom!’ Ghetsis commanded, his voice thunderous, as N tried to wrap his head around what was going on.

How could you be so stupid? Of COURSE Ghetsis was going to betray you, it’s what he DOES! the former king mentally chastised. How could he have been taken in so well? How, even now, with years free from Ghetsis’ influence, could he still be so easily manipulated? 

As Ghetsis slammed his cane down on the rocky ground, several unfamiliar figures in black and white masks suddenly leapt out, having been waiting for Ghetsis’ signal. More Pokeballs were flung into the air, as more Pokemon were sent out, between N and Ghetsis. 

Crackles of electricity zapped around Zekrom, the giant legendary held in place. N had frozen up again, feeling helpless, lost for what to do. 

‘Zekrom!’ he cried. 

‘It can’t move,’ Ghetsis said, a sinister chuckle coming forth. ‘I took special measures to use Pokemon that can hold it in place.’

N’s hands clenched into tight fists, shaking. How could I be so stupid? The entire thing had been a scam. Not only had Ghetsis prepared his Hydreigon to counter his team, not only had he made sure the Shadow Triad had Pokemon that could take down Zekrom, he had now done the same thing again on Pasio, to ensure he got what he wanted!

And like a fool, I fell for it, N’s mind traitorously whispered. 

‘What d’you think you’re doing?!’ Nate angrily snapped. He looked as though, if the Pokemon were not there, he would run at Ghetsis and try to physically attack him. 

‘I can’t believe you’d actually do such a thing…’ N’s voice was flat, hollow, belying the deep sense of betrayal that was rooting him on the spot. 

‘Of course I would!’ Ghetsis taunted, cackling. In typical Ghetsis style, he seemed to be relishing rubbing salt into the wound. When he spoke again, his voice was a disdainful sneer, not making the slightest effort to mask his contempt for his own child. ‘I only put on that ridiculous act so that I could get my hands on Zekrom! That is all you’re worth to me! As if we could be a true family! Me? With a freak like you?!’

N’s jaw was clamped tightly shut, only barely managing to contain an outburst of pain at Ghetsis’ words. He had heard that insult too many times.

“He’s nothing more than a freak without a human heart!”

“DON’T TALK LIKE A PERSON, YOU FREAK!”

He had lost count of just how many times that word had been wielded like a weapon against him throughout his entire life. Every time he had attempted to talk to his father, particularly about his ability to talk to Pokemon, it had always gone the same way.

And that was no doubt the reason why, as an adult, he was still being called a freak. Because Ghetsis had always refused to believe his claims. 

The fight had left N, and he did not bother to counter his father’s harsh words. But Nate was livid. 

‘How dare you play with N’s feelings like that?!’ he yelled, launching his Pokeball into the air, Braviary bursting from it. ‘I’m going to help N protect Zekrom!’

With an instruction to attack, and N still paralysed, Nate began to battle the Team Break grunts that had gathered under Ghetsis’ command, and easily took them down. As the last opposing Pokemon fell, Ghetsis’ expression twitched, ever so slightly. 

‘...Not bad,’ he conceded. ‘I can feel your anger!’ And it fuelled him.

‘Next is the pair holding down Zekrom!’ Nate declared. The Team Break trainer in question looked concerned as Nate attacked again. 

‘That’s enough.’

A new, commanding voice interjected, as yet another Pokemon appeared. The sleek, yet threatening form of Mewtwo landed between Ghetsis and Team Break, and N and Nate, pushing the latter two back. Mewtwo extended one arm, launching a hard blast of psychic power, taking Braviary down. Trying not to panic, Nate recalled his Pokemon before it could hit the ground, as N gawped at the newcomer.

‘Is… is that…?’ His voice trailed off, his eyes wide in horror when he recognised his father’s ally. 

‘Stay out of my way,’ Giovanni warned, his voice a low snarl. He looked almost exactly as N remembered. He had not seen anything of Team Rocket himself, not even on the news; Ghetsis had done too good a job when Team Rocket were around, of keeping N secluded and ignorant of the outside world. But the boy had heard things from his sisters, and done his own research since escaping Team Plasma. 

This Giovanni did not look too dissimilar to the man he had seen in photos. Perhaps a little older, his face slightly more lined. A few flecks of grey in an otherwise jet black head of hair. But the biggest difference, was the symbol emblazoned on the breast of his jacket. Not a red R, but multicoloured. Reds, yellows, greens and blues, one colour transforming into the other. 

Rainbow Rocket Giovanni rolled up a sleeve. In doing so, he revealed not just the fact that his arm was so heavily tattooed that his skin colour could not be seen, but more importantly, the Mega Bracelet enclosed around his wrist. 

‘Giovanni?’ N questioned, as the man in question approached, coming to a stop beside Mewtwo. ‘W-What are you doing here?’

The realisation that an already bad situation had just gotten worse caused N’s voice to crack. Which in turn made Ghetsis smirk. N was afraid. Good.

‘I just so happened to meet Ghetsis, while recruiting Team Break members,’ Giovanni explained. The apparently leaderless team had been like a gift for him. Already organised, already with their own Pokemon, all they needed was someone to take them under their wing. Someone to guide them.

And who better than Giovanni?

‘He told me all about his plans. And if he’s able to get his hands on your Zekrom, then that works out perfectly for me.’

In just getting him this far, this Ghetsis had already proven himself to be much more useful than the one he had already met and recruited into Rainbow Rocket. But, Giovanni was a smart man. He knew that the Rainbow Rocket Ghetsis had already tried to manipulate him, and was absolutely prepared for the current Ghetsis to try and do the same. Ghetsis no doubt had his own hidden agenda, but he was certainly not the only one. 

‘Yes, so I should thank you for gathering these pawns, and sharing your information with me,’ Ghetsis smirked. ‘I’ll be sure to return the favour. Now, our preparations are complete! I will soon possess a legendary that combines two powers!’

‘No…!’ Nate gasped. 

‘The fusion of Kyurem and Zekrom…’ N murmured, the memories of the exact same thing happening before flying through his mind. 

‘Watch this moment closely!’ Ghetsis cried out, as he approached the trapped Zekrom, Giovanni keeping close behind him. 

‘Zekrom!’ N called.

‘Ghetsis, don’t do it!’ Nate added. He knew too well that there was no way Ghetsis would listen, but without his Pokemon and badly outnumbered, there was not much else he could do. 

‘Kyurem! Absorb Zekrom, use Absofusion!’ Ghetsis ordered, an unhinged, determined grin set upon his face. 

‘Now’s my chance,’ Giovanni quietly said, watching the scene intently. He snapped his fingers. ‘Do it.’

Mewtwo reappeared, floating in the gap between the two other legendaries, facing Kyurem down. 

‘What the -?’ Nate spluttered. N looked similarly taken aback.

‘They stopped them from fusing?’ he questioned, not entirely certain whether he believed what he was seeing. 

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Ghetsis spat, glowering at Giovanni. He slammed his cane on the ground again. ‘Giovanni!’

‘Well, you see… I too have a plan,’ Giovanni replied. ‘I know how you operate, Ghetsis. Perhaps a little too well, and the way I see it, once you have both of these legendaries under your command, your next move will be to secure more pawns to make use of. And as these Team Break members answer to me, I know that it’d be me you target next.’

Ghetsis remained silent, teeth bared. As Giovanni observed him, he could see that he had been completely right. Granted, it would not have been out of character for Ghetsis to lie, and claim he had nothing of the sort planned, but he surmised Ghetsis would only have done that if he were calmer. And the ex Plasma leader, as he was currently, looked apoplectic with rage. 

Ghetsis’ raging, hateful silence was the only answer Giovanni required.

‘So, I intend to take Kyurem and Zekrom before that can happen!’

‘How cunning,’ Ghetsis hissed. ‘But it’s too little, too late.’

More masked members of Team Break appeared, again, on Ghetsis’ cue, standing beside him, as Giovanni’s eyes widened, just for a second. 

‘What?’

‘You are not the only one who has a talent for convincing people to join you,’ Ghetsis gloated. ‘I am more than capable of that, too! A faction of Team Break is already under my command!’

Oh, shit. This was not what Giovanni had in mind. He knew exactly what Ghetsis was planning, yet the son of a bitch still out-witted him!

Despite his inner panic, the Rainbow Rocket leader’s expression continued to be a smug grin, as though it was all a game they were playing. He would be damned if he was going to let Ghetsis know that he was rattled.

‘I guess I underestimated you after all,’ he admitted. ‘In that case… Mewtwo, get them!’

‘Rise! We must defeat Giovanni!’ Ghetsis roared. 

‘...So they’ve broken their alliance,’ N mused, as more Pokemon were sent out. With the attention mostly taken off Zekrom, N felt he could breathe a little more easily. ‘...I suppose they were never actually allies in the first place… 

‘I want to help Zekrom, but there are way too many Pokemon over there…’ Nate fretted. 

‘Go, Volcarona!’ 

Another new voice entered the fray, as a familiar Volcarona appeared over N’s head, striking the Team Break Pokemon. As they were knocked out, N and Nate spun around on their heels to see the former champion, Alder Castillo, striding forward. He was staring directly at Ghetsis, his expression set into a look of grim determination, with a young redhead behind him. 

‘Alder! Silver!’ Nate greeted, a wave of relief washing through him to have some backup. 

‘I had an unpleasant feeling that something bad would happen,’ Alder stated. The sensation of foreboding had been with him ever since he learnt Ghetsis was back. He knew that N had been ambivalent about forgiving him, and having a proper father and son relationship with the man again. And Alder did not want to completely squash his hopes of that happening. He had been direct with stating that he did not trust Ghetsis, but seeing the look of utter defeat in the young boy’s eyes, Alder had to wonder just what he had missed. That maybe he had not been severe enough. Perhaps he should have explicitly told N not to trust his despicable excuse for a “father”, even for the faintest fraction of a second. ‘I’m glad we made it in time. We took care of the Team Break members at the entrance, but reinforcements are on their way right now! We need to get out of here!’

Silver, the young redhead, was not paying any attention to Alder. Nor was he even paying any attention to Ghetsis. No, his gaze was firmly on Giovanni, and his expression was one of hatred. 

‘Oh?’ Giovanni questioned, glancing over. He was uncertain how to react, so he kept the same usual smug demeanour. This boy was not his Silver, but was a Silver. And clearly things had gone the same way between him and his Giovanni, as they had in the Rainbow Rocket leader’s timeline. 

‘I have more important things to worry about right now, than him,’ Silver declared, without giving one single fuck about the fact that his voice was loud enough for Giovanni to hear. Not that Giovanni seemed bothered. He was used to it from his own Silver. ‘Come on, hurry up!’

Now freed, N turned back to the rest of the group to see Zekrom land before him.

‘I’m so glad you’re okay…’ he murmured, relief sparkling in his eyes.

‘Let’s get out of here,’ Nate urged. 

Sensing that the situation was no longer in their favour, the Team Break grunts who had followed Ghetsis began to retreat, much to his annoyance.

‘Tch… Worthless fools,’ he growled. 

‘Now that a former champion has arrived, I suppose I have no choice but to give up on Zekrom,’ Giovanni decided. For now. ‘Kyurem, on the other hand, will be mine.’

‘I warned you before…’ Ghetsis started, his voice dripping with rage, before suddenly ramping up to a scream, ‘NOT TO UNDERESTIMATE ME!’

The cane struck the ground, as Kyurem roared. Alder winced at the noise, but Giovanni seemed unbothered. A snap of his fingers later, and he was gone, along with Mewtwo. Alder glanced back, seeing N approach, and noticed how the boy looked mentally exhausted. It was no surprise, Alder guessed that N must felt like he had been put through the wringer.

Because he had been. He was about to speak up, to try and reach out to N, when Nate interrupted with another insistence that they should leave. He was right, the less time they spent in the cave, the better. Giovanni might have been gone, but there was still Ghetsis to contend with. 

N stopped before he reached Alder and Nate. And, without breathing a word, he turned his back, and strode over to his father. 

‘...What?’ Ghetsis questioned, a look of annoyed confusion on his face. N refused to clarify, but stayed by his side. 

‘What are you doing? Just leave him!’ Silver irritably told N.

‘Yes, what are you doing?’ Ghetsis agreed, clearly as baffled as his son’s friends. 

‘...I want to save Kyurem, regardless of whose Pokemon it is. Even if that means I have to help you...’ N finally answered, without looking at any of them. Part of him had to wonder what the hell he was doing, siding up with Ghetsis, after how Ghetsis had betrayed him, insulted him, and openly laughed about it. He told himself that he was not doing this for Ghetsis’ sake, or even his own.

This was for Kyurem.

‘...I won’t call you my father, Ghetsis.’ That was fine with the Plasma leader. His skin always crawled when that word left N’s mouth. Disgusting. N turned and looked at him. ‘But if you co-operate, I’ll help you get out of this!’

‘I see. Very well. That’s convenient for me,’ Ghetsis replied. No “thank you”, but of course not. N had never gotten a “please” or a “thank you” from Ghetsis in his life, and he definitely did not expect that to change now. ‘Let’s take him down, N!’

‘N and Ghetsis, standing side by side…’ Nate muttered. The idea left him unsettled. It was wrong. He brought the Pokeball with his unconscious Braviary in it up to his mouth, whispering to it, as he used a revive. ‘Just a little longer, we need to help N…’

‘Hey!’ Silver called out, as Nate and Braviary took off. 

‘It’s too late to stop them. Let’s just make sure that they have a safe escape route,’ Alder told the redhead. 

‘The plan is to hold off Mewtwo until he can’t come after you any more, alright?’ N told his father.

‘Yes,’ Ghetsis crisply agreed.

‘Well, why don’t we put it to the test?’ Giovanni questioned, as he was joined by his own Team Break grunts again, now they had recovered from the previous fight. ‘Let’s see what your little father-son team up can do!’

Nate’s Braviary, and the two other legendaries opposing Giovanni started the battle, fighting ferociously against the Rainbow Rocket leader and his underlings. It was not long until it was just the legendaries against each other, and with Mewtwo outnumbered, it was Giovanni’s team that fell. 

‘...Hmph, I suppose that does surpass my expectations,’ he reluctantly confessed. 

‘After him!’ Ghetsis then commanded. 

‘No! You remember what I said earlier, don’t you?! We’re getting out of here!’ N countered. 

‘What?’ Ghetsis hissed, angry that N spoke back to him. But he could see that this time, N was not going to be moved. ‘Fine.’

‘Too bad,’ Giovanni said to himself, as the others left. ‘This would have been so much easier had you stayed here...’ He glanced to the cave exit. ‘Go after them.’

‘Hey!’ 

Giovanni had assumed that it was just him, Mewtwo, and his underlings left. That the others had all left with Ghetsis and N. So he was surprised when he saw himself suddenly face to face with his son.

‘That’s enough. Your plan failed,’ Silver glared. ‘Let them go, or else!’ 

To Giovanni’s surprise, the Pokemon that Silver released was none other than Ho-Oh. 

When did Silver obtain a legendary of his own? Giovanni thought, as Ho-Oh flapped its wings and released a loud cry. 

‘...Change of plans,’ Giovanni decided, recalling Mewtwo. ‘We’re leaving.’

His decision confused his underlings, who had been readying themselves for another fight. 

‘B-But sir…?’ one hesitantly questioned.

‘The more people you command, the harder it is to control them. I think learning that much is enough for today,’ Giovanni replied. He tilted his head, glancing to the side at Silver. ‘Besides… I’m very pleased by what I’ve seen today.’

Silver pulled a face, and blinked. Was Giovanni complimenting him? For standing up to him? Obtaining Ho-Oh? But once the shock quickly wore off, his expression turned back to angry. He was not going to be taken in, be swayed by Giovanni’s words! This man had no idea who Silver was, if he thought a few pretty words could appease him.

It was probably a lie, anyway.

Silver headed outside the cave again, where the rest of the group - unfortunately, still including Ghetsis - were waiting for him.

‘I think they’ve stopped coming after us now,’ Silver declared, without offering any explanation as to why he had stayed behind. None of them needed to know about him challenging Giovanni. Or what Giovanni had said to him. 

‘I see. In that case…’ Alder pointedly looked back at Ghetsis.

‘You want to come after me, now? I can’t allow that to happen,’ he warned. ‘Perhaps we can come to a truce for today. What do you think, N?’

‘...I know that you haven’t changed, at all,’ N said, and Alder was relieved. He had been concerned that siding with Ghetsis to protect him might have caused N to start reconsidering, again. He wanted nothing more than for N to have a father he could be happy with, but as long as his father was Ghetsis, that was just not possible. ‘If you do anything to harm the people or Pokemon here, I will be the first in line to stop you!’

‘I’ll keep that in mind,’ Ghetsis replied, tone thick with sarcasm. Clearly he did not believe N to be a big enough threat to him. ‘Then, farewell.’

‘Wait, Ghetsis!’ Nate then called. Ghetsis paused, not turning back around to face them, but instead peered over his shoulder, to see what Nate wanted. ‘I hate you. I’ll never forget what you did in Unova! But you’re still N’s father! You raised him, and spent all those years together!’

Ghetsis had no idea where Nate was going with his tangent, and neither did N. N’s childhood had been spent cooped up inside one room. A very spacious room, admittedly, but still locked away from the rest of the world, and fed only whatever information Ghetsis deemed worthy of him knowing. As much as N longed for change, he was no longer blind to the horrendous circumstances that stole his childhood. 

So why was Nate bringing it up?

‘Are you really going to say you felt nothing when the two of you were fighting side by side?!’ Nate demanded. ‘It’s not too late to change your ways! Please, at least think about it!’

Oh. N braced himself. He was certain that Ghetsis was going to scoff, laugh hysterically at such a ridiculous notion, and he knew it was going to hurt. 

‘Nate…’ N began. 

‘Ghetsis!’ Nate repeated, when he got no reply. And N’s heart sunk to his stomach, when sure enough, Ghetsis began to chuckle. At last, he turned back properly to face them, and erupted with laughter.

‘You naive fool! Our relationship is nothing more than that between a master and his tools! What happened here changes nothing!’ he barked, before turning his evil scarlet gaze onto N. ‘As long as I can keep using you, I don’t care what you call our relationship! I do whatever I please! I am not your ally, not your friend, and I am certainly not your father!’

In unison, N and Nate both tugged on the brims of their headwear. Nate in embarrassment, and upset for N, and N to try and cover his face. He was attempting to be as expressionless as he could, but the hurt shone in his eyes.

‘How dare you -!’ Silver began, readying to go into a full force rant. 

‘Despicable,’ Alder quickly interjected, unwilling to let the youngster draw too much of Ghetsis’ attention. ‘You’re the one without a heart!’

‘If that’s all,’ Ghetsis sneered, their anger and words bouncing off him. With another - but more sardonic - farewell, Ghetsis was whisked away by Kyurem, leaving them free of him at last.

‘I had a bad feeling this might happen,’ Alder sighed. ‘N, my apologies. I think I should have stopped you before you went to help him.’

‘Don’t apologise,’ N said, to Alder and Nate. ‘It was my decision. Please, don’t be sad on my behalf.’

‘...Nate, are you crying again?’ Silver questioned. He looked embarrassed.

‘You truly have a kind heart,’ N gently told Nate, ‘one that resonates with others. You got angry for the people of Unova, you yelled at Ghetsis for me… and now, you’re even crying for me...’

‘I can’t help it! It’s just all so messed up!’ Nate wept. ‘You’re not asking for anything special! You just want a normal relationship with the man you call your father! It’s not asking for much! Why can’t you have that too?!’

‘Nate… It’s okay.’ It was a lie, but a lie told for N’s own sake as well as Nate’s. Right now, he felt like being strong for his friend distracted him from his own pain. ‘I may not have a father, but I have good friends like you.’

‘N…’ Nate sniffled.

‘Yeah, you can survive without a father,’ Silver chimed in, and N nodded in agreement.

I’m blessed to be surrounded by such kind people and Pokemon. That’s enough for me. I suppose… a father figure was just never meant to be.

...But it was nice to hope for it.

[newobsessionweekly]

The pain she left behind

Title: The pain she left behind

Pairing: Dean x Female Reader, Sam x Platonic!Reader, Castiel x Platonic!Reader, Jack x Platonic!Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: language, character death, grieveing, Dean crying, angst, death, a little bit of explicit content,  violence, fluff, spoilers s14

Prompt 1: Loving me is a death sentence.

Prompt 2: We found each other. That’s all that matters.

A/N: This is my enterance for SPN Bi-Weekly Writing Challenge. I don’t usually write and all that, but I wanted to try something new and I don’t know... I tried my best, I hope you enjoyed it!

Tag: @supernatural-jackles

Something Dean has told himself and everyone around when they asked, is that he doesn’t need that in his life. He doesn’t need love, he doesn’t need to find a girl; he tried that before and it didn’t work out. But what he needs is to have his mind clear, focused on cleaning America from monsters, he needs to keep his family safe. But he failed, he met you and all his life was turned upside down. And sometimes he regrets the day they met you, because now, you are just too hard to forget.

Laying on the kitchen floor, heavily breathing from the enormous weight that’s pressing on his chest, Dean’s playing with a bottle of beer, switching it annoyingly from one hand to another over and over again, just as you’re switching in his head, from one memory to one another. He locked himself in his room for the past 3 days, binge watching some random horror movies wanting to wash away the need to cry, to scream, and beg God to bring you back to him, but it was pointless, he still cried himself to sleep. So he decided it’s time for something stronger; he needs to be back in tracks as soon as possible and be ready to fight the monster that took you away, there’s no time to grieve.

“Dean!” Sam yelled his name again while descending the stairs to the kitchen, abruptly snapping him from his memories of you.

He refuses to answer, he refuses to talk to anyone and Sam understands it, because he feels the empty space you left in their lives too, but he’s maybe more afraid than Dean to show it. Sam wants to be strong for his brother, he wants to be there for him, especially these days. Only the third time after hearing his name, Dean bothered to look up at his younger brother and allow him to see all the broken pieces of his heart spread all over the place.    

“Sammy, I don’t want to talk to you right now.” Dean’s voice is rough and shaky, tears threatening to burst in any moment and Dean’s aware that he’s going to lose it soon, but still hoping that Sam will not be around.    

“Dean, you have to – “

“I don’t have to do anything today.” He raised his index finger and stopped Sam, then he pointed to the fridge: “Now pass me another beer and leave.”

Sam did so and Dean thanked him with just a movement of his head, before turning his attention to the abandoned metallic box full of memories from his lap. A bunch of photos with Sammy, some with his mom and dad, few with his friends that soon became family, and even fewer with you. Dean doesn’t like photos that much, he’s not that kind of guy who’d let himself be photographed everywhere and every time, but now he wishes he was that kind and wishes he’d have done a lot more photos beside you. There are only six instant photos of you, with a red ribbon wrapped around them; six, one for every anniversary and one from the first proper Christmas the Winchesters ever had.

He’d have wanted to be that stupid kind of men and take photos of you everywhere: in your favourite pyjamas, curled up in a chair from the library with a leg under you, so deeply focused in research, trying so hard to fit in with his life; standing in front of a pan in the mornings when Sam would be out of town, only in your beautiful underwear, moving your hips while making breakfast for him; curled up in a soft, warm blanket on a chair, sound asleep far too many hours before Sam and Dean would come home after so many weeks of being away.

“Dean!”  

“Dean!”

You jumped from one of the chairs on the war room at the sound of the bunker’s door loudly opening. You almost caught roots on that place waiting for Dean and Sam to show up. You woke up alone this morning, no sight of any of the brothers or your angelic friend so you waited and waited before panic started to grow inside of you. You prayed to Cas and asked him if something happened, you started to pace around the war room when no answer was coming and then you sat on that chair and wondered what the hell happened with everyone. Bad scenarios running through that beautiful mind of yours and you were preparing for the worst.

But you were never prepared for what entered that door; Sam, Dean and Cas were fighting over heels to carry a giant fir tree, you could bet it is even taller than Sam. Your jaw dropped at the sight of Dean, all covered in snow and sweat beads painting his forehead, trying his best not to drop the lower part of the tree.

“What happened? Are you ok? How hard did Sam hit you in the head?” You tried to hide the fact that you were scared as hell with a sarcastic tone, and thankfully Dean bite it, but Cas not so much, because he was throwing you Cas-type of awkward glances.

Dean always rejected the idea of having a proper and normal holiday celebration so as you skipped Halloween, again, you pleaded and pleaded, every night and every day to celebrate at least Christmas, your favourite holiday. But a week or two ago, you gave up when you saw you were getting not even a negative response to your question.

Library was transformed and instead of two big and cold tables with some uncomfortable chairs around, there was a long table decorated with two beautiful candlesticks and little angels and snowflakes. The dish was prepared by Dean with a little help from you, and all around the bunker were hanged beautiful lights, some Santa figurines and angels. Christmas tree was decorated by you and Dean who got involved in this holiday celebration thing more than you even expected.

Sitting around the Christmas tree, after everybody praised the food, you were smiling proudly to have these special people around you. Jody, Donna, Claire, Alex, Patience and Kaia are your second family, and every time Sam and Dean would leave for a serious case, they’d prefer you to stay with the girls. Not because they don’t trust you, just because they’d be more peacefully than knowing you home alone so many days in the bunker. You and Alex became very good friends especially because none of you is hunting. Your boyfriend wants to keep you out of this life as much as possible and is trying to make everything as normal as he can.

Dean ripped you from your thoughts when he wrapped his hand around your waist and rest his chin on your shoulder. You smiled at him excitedly and then exchanged presents with the girls. Then you gave Jack his present, a blue sweater to match yours, and he sadly looked at you. You panicked a little when you saw his face and your body strained, catching Dean’s attention.

“Why are you sad? You don’t like it?” you asked Jack.

“No,no! I love it!” he immediately said, stopping you from making films inside your head. “But I didn’t know we were buying each other gifts. I thought only Dean was supposed to buy you a present, because he’s your boyfriend.”

“Oh, so Dean bought me a present, huh?” you turned to look at your boyfriend and showed him your most beautiful and mischievous smile. “Sam, you really should tell me with what you hit him in the head because it may use me too in the future.”

Everyone laughed at your joke and Dean could swear he had never seen you so happy in his life. He knows Christmas is your favourite holiday and he and Sam were always preoccupied with hunting and saving the world to even think about these holidays, but you understood and never complained. You anyway got to celebrate it at Jody’s place, so you never said anything to Dean, mostly because it was pointless; you loved Dean so much and you accepted him as he is, you accepted his life and embraced it, though he kept you at a secure distance from his life, especially to protect you, and offered you a life as normal as possible, but it was impossible after a certain point ...

Sam watched Dean from distance as he flipped through the Polaroids, with tears cascading on his cheeks, knotting under his chin and loud sobs shaking his body in pain. It breaks Sam’s heart, but he needs it, he needs to cry, to express his feelings, to get it over his chest, even for a moment.

Jack accompanied Sam and Cas and watched over Dean, but they stopped themselves to intervene when a bottle of beer loudly crashed on the floor and wetted everything around. All three of them startled when the sound reached their ears, but they stood still.

It was odd for Dean to break like that in a place where anyone could enter any moment, but nothing was normal anymore, it wasn’t normal for him to lose like that the love of his life, so he allowed himself to do all sorts of strange things in order to calm down even for a second.

“Deano!” you giggled happily in his ear as your body embraced him from behind, your naked body combined with his, just as clothless as yours. It is barely eight and he would probably curse for the rest of the morning if your plan on waking him up will work. It is your fifth anniversary and after long and deep talks with Sam, you decided it’s time to do a little more today.

After you prepared your special breakfast while Sam was leaning on the kitchen counter giving you small advices here and there, he decided to leave you two alone, teasing you, saying you can be as noisy as you please.  

You leaned over him and pressed your lips on his back, chaotically tracing kissed all over his shoulders and going up to his neck and cheeks and then right back from the beginning. Leaving wet spots all over his body, Dean rolled on his back, making you to fall on top of him, your breasts pressing firmly on his chest.

“Well, that is a very interesting way to wake me up, sweetheart.” Dean yawned and looked at you first only with his right eye, then with his left one, finding it very hard to keep them both open.  

You are a simple couple, but more like an old married couple who just puzzle up one another like you’ve known each other for your whole lives. Dean and you as well are not the kind to celebrate and do big stuff about it, just cooking together a breakfast, finally making time for you in such a long time and mostly spending the day together, talking and fixing the problems that you encountered on the way. You are just communicating, that’s your celebration. And this is all you need. But this morning, Dean felt it’s going be a little different. He can smell the breakfast already cooked and he frowned at the smell of fresh, hot coffee.

He kissed you with love, cupping your cheek and rubbing his finger over it, as he always does when he wants to melt your heart, because he knows your weaknesses so well. You cuddle in a little more before you decided to get out of bed and eat your breakfast, stalling a bit to telling one more time – or ten more times – how much you love each other.

“I wanted to spoil you today.” You told him as you put your underwear on and wrapped the red satin robe, the one Dean loves, around your body.

“You know what –“ Dean begins, chewing loudly his bacon. “I’ve been thinking –“ he stops again, sipping his coffee, giving you appreciative sounds as in he’s enjoying very much the coffee you made.

“Oh, no! Always ends bad when you’re thinking.” You teased him and laughed so hard when he gives you the Winchester bitch face. “Ok, we are serious this morning. I’m listening.”

“I was thinking... maybe we should get married.” He says.

Your heart stops at the sound of his words and you almost choke with coffee, slightly coughing to get lost the lump that formed in your throat. You dreamed of marrying Dean from the first moments when you met him. He’s exactly what you’re looking for in a man, he is smart, funny and you can feel his love for you, though he doesn’t show it that much. You love him terribly much and never crossed your mind that this day would come, despite the fact you wanted it so bad. You understand that his life is dangerous, complicated and he doesn’t have time for this kind of things in the first place. You never thought about changing a thing about him or his life and never said anything, because nothing bothered you in the first place. Dean loves you, Dean treats you so right and protects you that you never needed anything and accepted him with his good and a little less good things without questioning, because it is a part of loving.

You adore him with every inch of your being, and the fact that he thought about marring you shocked you, that for the first time, you couldn’t get the words find your mouth. He looked at you, still chewing his food, but he had more of a worried look.

“Ar-are you sure?” you asked and he grabbed your hand over the table and caressed your soft skin.

“Yes, I am a hundred percent sure.” He frowned a little before he continued: “You?”

“Yes!” you immediately responded, leaving no place for any other thoughts. “Yes, I want to marry you, Dean Winchester.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear that.” He chuckled and pressed his lips over yours, and then over your forehead. “I discussed with my mom about it, when she was around... She gave me her ring.”

He excitedly bit his bottom lip and then he told you to wait for him, just rising his index finger and then hurried over your bedroom. You smiled like a fool and your stomach flipped almost painfully just at the thought that he discussed this with his mother, especially knowing how important his mother was.  

He came back too soon and ripped out of your thoughts and he shyly asked for your hand. Dean placed the ring on your ring finger and you kissed him so many times, as he dragged you on his lap.

You planned your wedding to be something simple, just a dinner with some friends at the bunker, but soon enough, it turned out to be a dinner with all of your friends at the bunker. You are wearing a simple white casual dress and Dean is wearing his FBI costume, nothing fancy, because fancy was never the Winchester style.

“I am not good at words, especially not at speeches.” He paused a little and everyone laughed. “But I need to say that I love you to death, Y/n Winchester! And I am so grateful that we found each other, that’s all that matters. “

“I love you to death, Dean Winchester!”

And you indeed loved him to death.

In Dean’s head was repeating over and over again the way your body collapsed into the ground, as the last tears fell onto your cheeks when your eyes shut closed. Dean could imagine only a quarter of the pain you left the world with, but he never understood your enormous love for him, not even in your last moments when you looked at him and told him how much you love him.

As Chuck paced the grass and waited, you stand still as you had the gun He gave to you pointed at Jack. The nephilim is dangerous, he is a monster and must be stopped.

“Y/n!” Sam and Dean shouted as they came running towards you. “Y/n, no!”

“I understand...” Jack said, looking up to you from where he stayed on his knees, Sam and Dean calling your name in the background. “I know what I’ve done.”

“No, no, no, no! Y/n!” your husband came running to you, but he stopped as he heared your voice:

“Stay back, Dean!” you said, looking at Jack.

“And you were right, all along. I am a monster.” Jack said.

“Do something!” Dean told Chuck, but he frowned when He shushed him. “Are you enjoying this?”

You took the safety off as you overheard their conversation and looked at Jack one more time; he was standing in his knees in front of you, with his hands folded on his lap, looking innocently at you. He is just a kid, he’s no monster. You frowned; all of this is just Chuck’s plan. You put the safety back on and lowered the gun, throwing it away on the grass.  

“No,no! Pick it up!” Chuck said and approached the two of you and Jack looked at him with a frowning painted on his face. “Pick it up! This isn’t how the story is suppose to end!”

“The story?” Castiel asked.

“Look at the Gathering Storm, the gun... this is epic!”

“Wait what are you saying?” Dean asked Chuck, moving his sight from you to Him.

“He’s saying that he’s been playing us...” Sam responded and Chuck sighs “...this whole time.”

“Come on – “ Chuck started but he’s been interrupted by Sam:

“Our entire lives... mom, dad, everything. This is all you, because... you wrote it all, right? Because... because, what? Because we’re your favourite show? Because we’re part of your story?”

“Y/n, no offense, but your brother-in-law is stupid and crazy. This kid is still dangerous. So pick up the gun.” You looked at the gun but didn’t make any move. “Pick is up. Pull the trigger. And I’ll bring her back. I’ll bring Mary back.”

Everyone’s faces fell contemplatively, and you really thought about it as a possibility. Jack moved his looking to you and tried to understand what were you thinking.

“No!” Dean responded immediately.

“I’m not talking to you, Dean. I know how much you want this for Dean, because you love him so much and you want him to be happy and all crap. So pull the trigger and I’ll bring her back.”

“No.” You said and Chuck frowned.

“My mom was my hero, and I miss her, and I will miss her every second of my life, but she would not want this, she would not want this for Y/n. She wouldn’t want for her to have her hands stained with innocent blood and live with the thought of killing someone innocent, someone she loves so much, for the rest of her life. And it’s not like you even really care, ‘cause Sam’s right. The Apocalypse, Lucifer and Michael, you knew everything that was going on. So why the games, Chuck? Huh? Why don’t you just snap your fingers and end it?”

”Look...” Chuck started, but he was again stopped by Sam.

“And every other bad thing we’ve been killing, or dying over...” he scoffed. “Where were you? Just sitting back and watching us suffer? So we can do this over and over and over again? Fighting, losing people we love? When does it end? Tell me!”

“Y/n, don’t do this – “ Chuck said, but no one let Him finish one sentence.

“No, we’re done talking. ’Cause this... this isn’t just a story... it’s our lives! Leave my wife alone. So God or no God, go to hell!” Dean said, both of the Winchesters having their serious faces put on, while chuck smiled mischievously in the corner of the lips.

“Have it your way!” He said, then snapping his fingers.

Everybody watched as your body collapsed lifelessly into the ground, and Dean shouted your name, but the pain was too deafening. Everyone was shocked, and Sam reacted as adrenaline was pumping in his body. He picked up the gun and drunken in pain, he shot Chuck in order to kill, for you, for his best friend. Unfortunately, he shot God in shoulder, and Sam as well felt a killing pain in his shoulder.

Dean cried his pain out of his body, his soul and he tried to cry you out of his mind too, but it was too hard. He tried to erase that hurtful memory of you, but it just wouldn’t get off, it would play over and over again, just to kill him slowly and slowly every second. He broke down one more time, loudly sobbing and frantically shaking his body.

Sam ran towards him and crashed beside him, Sam as well having tears staining his cheeks at the sight of his big brother broken like this. There were too many bottles of beer drunk and Dean was not feeling alright at all. Sam’s arms moved around Dean’s body and embraced him, trying not to let him broke into pieces.  

“It’s alright, Dean! I’m here. I’m here, Dean!” Sam shushed him and tried to keep him from shaking.

“Everyone around me is getting hurt and they are dying, Sammy. Loving me is a death sentence, Sammy.”

“Dean... listen to me!” Sam cupped his cheeks and moved his head from his shoulder so that he can look into Dean’s eyes. “Dean, look at me. I love you and I’m not going anywhere, alright? Y/n loves you from a better place, alright? I bet you’re gonna get into the same heaven someday, alright?” Dean slowly nodded his head and looked at Sam between the eyelashes, finally he stopped crying. “Let’s go get your strength back and we’re going to kill that son of a bitch, alright?” Dean nodded again and let Sam put him to bed, hoping maybe it will hurt less tomorrow.

[miraculousmarifan]

Felinette Month 2020 - Day 22: Tattoo Artist

Happy @felinettenovember! It may almost be the end of November but I’m slowly catching up! Hopefully this longer story full of Felix being awkward makes up for the delay!

Around 3200 words of Felix and Marinette awkwardly trying to flirt. Spoiler, Nino was in fact trying to subtly set them up before then. Also mentions of Gabriel salt but not enough to really tag.

Also, there is one swear word in the entire thing but it was too perfect a spot not to include. Enjoy!

Felix hated going to crowded bars. He couldn't believe he had let his coworker, Nino, talk him into coming to this bar while he DJ’d on the side. Felix didn’t mind spending time with Nino at the tattoo parlor, the two had interesting conversations and Nino was pretty relaxed but it didn’t mean they had become good enough friends for Felix to put up with this. The reek of body odor near the dance floor deterred him and he wondered why he felt like he needed to come to this show. He hadn’t come any other time Nino had invited him. 

Felix wondered if he was overdressed. Most people wore jeans. Here and there he saw a nice blouse or even a dress but many women looked like their primary objective was to entice a date into taking them home, in Felix’s opinion. He saw one or two men wearing button down shirts but most wore flannels or plain t-shirts. His white button down, dark gray vest, and black pants might’ve been a little dressy for the venue.

There was still a little bit of room to sneak in by the bar, near a dark-haired woman on one of the few barstools. He excused himself as he tried to position himself at the bar without bumping anyone. He couldn’t help but wonder if this bar was normally crowded like this or if this was Nino’s influence. It might be a sign that he’s actually a really good DJ.

“I’m sorry. Were you saving this spot for someone?” Felix turned slightly towards the woman, while waiting for the bartender to finish making other customers’ drinks. “I just tried to get into the only opening at the bar I could see.”

“It’s fine! I’m meeting someone and she isn’t here yet. It’s nice to see it so crowded!” the dark-haired woman exclaimed with a smile, glancing up from her phone and placing a hand on the top of her drink glass while talking with him. He felt himself smile back. She wore a pink shirt, casual but stylish, with jeans and black heeled boots. She definitely had good taste, managing to look put together for a night out, while still being casual and comfortable.

“I’m glad I didn’t inconvenience you right now. It’s definitely crowded. Do you come here often? I mean, do you know if it’s normally like this? This is my first time here,” Felix fumbled out. He internally smacked his head. It wasn’t like he never saw pretty girls and he hadn’t even had a drink yet. Why was he forgetting how to speak properly with her sparkling eyes on him? He used to work with models for crying out loud. He felt like the words coming out were too direct. It was like he was a creep hitting on her at the bar and he just wanted to make some small talk! He felt the tension in him relax slightly as she lightly laughed.

“It sometimes gets busy but today is a little more than usual. My friend is the DJ and he tends to draw in more people. I think his girlfriend put something on her blog though, since this is a special show. It may have brought more people than usual. What brings you here, since you clearly aren’t a usual?” she mockingly asked him, after her casual remarks. She had brought her drink closer to her body, hand still on the top, as though she was thinking about getting up and leaving that spot soon.

“I actually came for a coworker… friend… that said he was going to be the DJ tonight. Nino?” Felix replied, wondering if Nino was actually a mutual friend. He hoped so, if only for the chance to chat with her longer tonight.

“Oh! You’re from the tattoo parlor?” she exclaimed, jerking up so her back was straight. Her face flushed lightly and her eyebrows were raised slightly.

“Yes… I take it Nino is your DJ friend. I’m Felix,” he stuck his hand out in introduction with a slight tilt of his head.

“Marinette,” she smiled and shook his hand. The bartender chose this opportunity to come over, apologize for the wait, and take his drink order. Felix asked Marinette if she needed a refill and offered to buy it. She downed the last of her drink and pushed it forward, repeating what she wanted. He gladly covered it, leaving a bill big enough to pay for the drinks with a generous tip. He figured with it being this busy, few customers would leave tips after having to wait and it would be appreciated. He turned slightly, looking over his shoulder to check for an open table with three or four chairs.

“I’m thinking about moving to that table--” Felix gestured to an empty table left of the dance floor, close to the DJ booth with three chairs by it, “-- so the bar has a little more open space. Would you like to join me there while you wait for your friend?”

Marinette smiled at him and nodded, pulling the strap of her small bag over her shoulder and sliding off the chair. He picked up her drink and started to weave through the crowd, walking as quickly as possible towards the table. He reached it a few steps before her, setting the drinks down and then gesturing for her to take the seat with the best view of the entrance. He quickly explained that he wanted her to be able to spot her friend right away.

“So you work with Nino at the tattoo parlor?” Marinette asked again, as though there was more behind the question.

“Yes. I also do tattoos, though I personally think Nino’s are more creative. I typically do by appointment, though I have helped out with walk-ins when we get a group of them. I find that they typically prefer his sketches though, so I don’t typically make my own designs,” Felix gave her more detail than normal, in case he could answer her unspoken question this way.

“I guess I’m just a little surprised. You don’t really look like the type to work there. Do you have any tattoos?” she sheepishly shrugged, kind of explaining the tone behind her previous question. He grinned mischievously and shrugged back at her.

“I actually don’t have any tattoos and didn’t get into this career field because I loved it. It’s a bit of a joke at work but I started there to spite my father. I had steady hands and trained for quite a while before starting working on clients but…” Felix had a bit of a laugh in his voice as he explained this career choice. Marinette studied him a little more closely before leaning forward to respond.

“Not to pry but were you a model when you were younger?” she whispered almost conspiratorially, with a narrowed eye and the tilt of her head. Her hair fell forward with the motion and his hand lifted to push it back behind her ear before he had a chance to think. As he realized what he had done, he flushed and looked away, pulling his hand back swiftly and gripping it in his lap. He completely missed her blushing and putting a hand up to her ear.

“I was actually… not that most people realize it now. I actually changed my last name to my mother’s maiden name when I came of age so people don’t make the connection when they do happen to hear it,” Felix replied and met her intense stare, quietly answering her searching gaze with his own. He wondered if she had really figured him out so quickly. He knew his longer-term coworkers knew about his previous work history but was he just delusional that others didn’t make the connection?

“I’m glad you found a way to fuck with Gabriel Agreste. After reading an article about the standards he held for his models when you suddenly disappeared from the fashion world, I decided I never wanted to treat people like that. I even decided that I didn’t want to take an internship there, even if it would help my career to learn from him. It’s good to know you’re doing well,” Marinette looked away, blushing more as she took a gulp from her glass, gripping it tighter than really necessary. He felt the need to study her closer. Most people didn’t notice or read the article he had helped with, especially when the only publication that would go up against Gabriel was a small independent fashion magazine. This girl must’ve been really invested in fashion to have noticed an article like that.

“So you must be working in fashion?” Felix rested his head on a hand, soaking up her expression. He was startled from his reverie by a hand on his shoulder.

“She’s the best designer of our generation! She’s going to have her name across every headline soon! She is going to blow Gabriel Agreste out of the water… Isn’t that right Mar?” a woman with brown and red hair declared firmly near Felix’s ear, before turning and confirming with Marinette with a grin.

“Alya! You made it! Why didn’t you message me when you got here?” Marinette grinned back, still blushing lightly. 

“Girl I did! Don’t you check your phone? I’m glad you guys chose a table that was easy to spot! Who’s your friend?” Alya lightly bumped their shoulders, before taking the last chair at the table and waggling her eyebrows.

“I’m Felix, and you must be Marinette’s friend,” he jumped in right away, extending a hand and smiling slightly at their interaction.

“Alya. Are you the Felix that works with Nino?” Alya grinned a bit bigger, the mischievous look seeming to grow. He nodded and looked around.

“I am. Do you guys know when he’s planning on being here?” he asked. He figured Nino was supposed to start soon, so he should be there.

“So Felix, you look a little dressed up today. Any specific reason? Like maybe you had a date?” Alya rested her head on her hands, staring across the table at him with slightly narrowed eyes.

“This is how I normally dress… These are my casual clothes…” he stuttered out in confusion. Luckily he didn’t need to stutter too long, as Nino arrived at their table and greeted his girlfriend with a kiss.

“Hey guys! Felix, man! You made it! I’m so glad you made it! Have you all met already?” Nino patted Felix’s shoulder before looking between the three of them. Alya turned and smiled at the two.

“We’ve been getting to know him. You didn’t tell me you had invited your work friend tonight,” Alya raised her eyebrows at Nino and placed a hand on his arm. He looked at her confused, and leaned over to talk with her in a low tone. The two leaned over as Marinette and Felix sat awkwardly, trying not to watch the pair. Finally the two seemed to reach an understanding and noticed their friends' discomfort. 

Nino proceeded to make a little bit of small talk, telling a short story or two about his and Felix’s experiences at the parlor, before he let them know he needed to head up to the booth to start.

With the music blasting, Alya attempted to convince Marinette to come out on the floor and dance with her. She promised to join her once her feet had rested up from her work day. Alya accepted the promise with a declaration that she'd be held to it. Felix felt a small amount of relief at being forgotten here. He was an awkward dancer at best, only really managing to acceptably slow dance for formal events, and this dance floor didn’t appear suitable for that style.

"I actually am kind of interested in getting a tattoo… I have some sketches of what I'm thinking, if you wouldn't mind looking it over…" Marinette pulled a small notepad out of her purse and opened it to a specific page before looking up at him.

"Sure. Are you thinking of making an appointment with Nino or somewhere else?" He gestured towards the notepad to indicate that he'd like to take a look. She slid it over to him and he looked at the line art she had put together for this design. It had some degree of floral swirling but also what appeared to be a small ladybug, a symbol of luck. It was simple but lovely. He looked up at her and leaned closer to point out elements as he spoke, "I imagine you're going to want to fill in the ladybug with red?"

A nod of confirmation. 

"What about these areas? You could have it filled in, make the lines a specific color, or even just put another layer of color on one side of the black so it has more vibrancy. I'm sure this part would look great with a vibrant green and this could be any color you want." Marinette’s eyes got wide with the possibilities. She stated she didn't want it filled in at this point, then started asking about the pros and cons of doing specific line colors versus the layered lines. They discussed what would probably work best for where on her body and what areas are more likely to be painful. Finally she came to a decision, writing down on the paper with her sketch what she wanted.

“So do you have openings for an appointment any time soon?” Marinette asked almost hesitantly. Felix blinked at her a few times before opening his mouth to speak.

“You want me to do it?” he mumbled incredulously, his brain still catching up after discussing the design from a neutral stance up to this point.

“Unless you think I’d be better off going somewhere else, yeah… I kind of thought that’s why you were so open to discussing it…” she replied quietly, embarrassment coloring her cheeks. Her logic made sense. Normally he wouldn’t consult on someone else’s work, but he was caught up in the idea of being able to help the beautiful woman in front of him.

“I could! I just didn’t expect it… would you mind either coming over to the parlor so I can make a copy of this and practice it or you could send me it via email? I normally have my appointments do that when we set up the appointment and design. Then I can give a more accurate time estimate.” he answered enthusiastically, hoping she wouldn’t feel embarrassed by his slow thinking. It was a Friday night after all. He had every reason not to focus well.

“I could give you my number so we can figure out when to make a copy there,” she smiled at him, relief seeming to color her voice. He nodded in agreement, pulling out his phone and bringing up the new contact form, then sliding it over to her. She typed in her name, number, and email address quickly, then returned his phone. He smiled at it, sent a message to her with his name, then returned the phone to his pocket.

“I’m glad we’ll be able to see each other again for this,” the words slipped from his mouth when he watched the lights from the dance floor bounce across her face. She blushed slightly and nodded in response before asking him to dance. He hesitated before leaning forward to answer.

“I will if you ask me to, but I must warn you that I am a terrible dancer. You may end up regretting bringing me there, if it doesn’t make you laugh first,” he whispered near her ear, surprised that even this close to the dance floor his nose registered the sweet smell of her hair, vanilla. Before pulling back, he asked her again, “Are you sure you want me to join you and your friend on the dance floor?”

Her laugh twinkled out before she stood, leaning close to him to reply. “You haven’t seen my dancing yet! It’s not likely you can be worse than me!”

Her hand wrapped around his closest one and gently tugged it so he would get up and follow. The two made their way towards where Alya was dancing. She made a small laughing comment about how long it took the two to join in on the fun. During their second song on the floor, with Felix and Marinette awkwardly swaying and waving their arms near the beat but slightly off, Alya started to laugh.

“I never thought I would see the day that Marinette would find her perfect dance partner! You two dance the exact same! Was this planned?” Her exclamation caused the pair to look at each other, then join in laughing. Marinette exclaimed that they hadn’t planned it and looked a little embarrassed at the “perfect dance partner” comment. The next song was slower, definitely one that suggested partnering up. Alya gave Marinette a light nudge towards Felix and an eye waggle on her way back to the table for a “refreshment break.”

“Would you like to dance? I know we don’t really know each other and neither of us is much for dancing…” Felix awkwardly put a hand to his neck, eyes on her boots. She stepped forward and set a single hand on his shoulder. He brought his arms up, sweeping up her free hand in one of his, then hesitantly started moving. Surprisingly the two managed to stay on beat for more of this song. They were silent through the first chorus, just trying to get into a rhythm together.

“So are you the coworker Nino was trying to set me up with?” Marinette broke the silence, a blush covering her cheeks and eyes cast over his shoulder, rather than at his face.

“I’m not sure. It’s a pretty small parlor and Nino never mentioned setting me up on a date but I’m pretty sure I’m the only single guy there at the moment…” Felix felt a little flustered at the idea. He was sure if Nino had suggested it, he would have rejected on the basis of disliking blind dates. There was too much potential for hurt feelings and uncomfortable meals for his taste. He would’ve hated to find out he missed out on meeting an interesting woman like Marinette due to his own bias though. “Maybe that’s why he kept inviting me to his gigs though. He’s been asking me to come for months and I only got around to it tonight.”

“That’s possible…” Marinette sounded disappointed and Felix felt his stomach drop. He hadn’t meant to say the wrong thing, just state facts as far as he could tell.

“I’m really glad I made it tonight. If I had expected to meet you, I would have come much sooner!” he blurted out quickly, not fully certain if that would help or hurt his case. She blushed more than before and stared at him in surprise.

“I’m glad you came too,” she replied after a long pause. Felix felt relief wash through him.

“Does that mean I can call you sometime? Other than for the tattoo, that is…” he enthusiastically inquired, gazing earnestly at her. The song ended and he hesitated to release her hand, waiting for her answer.

“I think I’d like that.”

[k-s-morgan]

You got me into sebaciel FUCK. I started bingeing black butler last night and now I can’t stop. I am curious tho — what partially drew me to start watching it is because I love ships with possessive behavior, which is one of the popular tags of sebaciel. Are there any key parts that you recall in the series where obsession/possessiveness is very apparent? (I’m too early in but I’m assuming it’s directed from Sebastian towards Ciel.) thank youuu ❤️

Oh wow, I'm so happy to hear this! :D I love these two so much, and it always thrills me to have more people join in. Obsession and possessiveness are my two weaknesses, I always seek fiction with them. Your questions are very interesting, but I'm afraid I won't be able to reply without huge spoilers! If you don't mind, keep reading, if you do, better save it for later))

Possessiveness. It's demonstrated both subtly and strongly, and it applies to all areas at once. I will describe just some moments that immediately come to my mind because it's been a while since my complete re-watch.

In E9, Ciel is in danger. Finnie is one second from saving him - he's running toward him and is almost there. Instead of letting him save Ciel, Sebastian carelessly and violently pushes him away and covers Ciel himself (before pulling him closer and staring at him as if he's about to kiss him). He wants to be the one to save him, he sees this as his unique right. A part of it comes from the contract, but in this situation, it's not about it - the "why" will be seen later.

In E10, Abberline rushes after Ciel and reaches out to touch his shoulder because he has a question. Sebastian slaps his hand away and asks him not to touch Ciel. There is really no need for it, Abberline is harmless, so it's about possessiveness.

In Book of Circus, when Ciel is having a panic attack (the moment is also known as asthma scene), Sebastian leans closer to him with a blissed out look on his face and asks him to call him by his name. He loves hearing it from Ciel’s lips (and he loves his agony but that’s another discussion).

The next thing that stands out in my memory is Book of Murder, and the way Sebastian was all weird about Ciel liking Doyle's stories. Granted, several interpretations are possible here. However, Sebastian then makes Ciel undress (case reasons) and wear his coat, and he looks very smug about it. Ciel even asks why he insisted on it and Sebastian just says something like, "Isn't it fortunate how it can cover you whole?" He clearly enjoys Ciel wearing his clothes.

Then there are the last episodes of S1. Sebastian's dislike for Abberline has grown since Abberline bonded with  Ciel a bit. So when Ciel is in danger and Abberline dives to protect him, Sebastian doesn't push him away, like he did with Finnie, and he ignores the contract. Instead, he lets Abberline sustain a mortal blow on Ciel's behalf and die, and then he even gets an ugly grimace and spits that Abberline was a fool. Again, there are several reasons for it, but possessiveness is a big part of it, in my eyes.

The whole S2, Sebastian's possessiveness becomes very textual. For instance, he tells Claude, the other demon, that the mere thought of him touching Ciel makes him (Sebastian)  sick. He repeats how he won't let him touch him. Alois, Claude's master, notes that Sebastian is infatuated with Ciel. Then we have absolutely beautiful moments in E10 of S2, where Claude dresses Ciel and compliments him and  Sebastian is so violently livid that he destroys the entire forest around the house, breaking trees with every touch Claude administers.  When he sees Hannah touching Ciel, he also becomes livid and even gains his demonic form before going and straight-punching  Claude in the face :D

I'm sure there are more tinier things, but I don't recall them right now)

Obsessiveness. Obsession is basically there every episode. It's in how fervently Sebastian treats his duties, the care he takes in dressing Ciel (which is a huge contrast with Claude, who's a more typical demon not interested in his master beyond his soul). How he's genuinely terrified when Ciel is in danger and it doesn't look like his soul is the only thing he worries about. The way he stares at Ciel sometimes - so intense, so admiring, so fond.

From more textual examples: I liked how Sebastian tore into Prince Soma for basically not being Ciel. How he ridiculed his every trait that goes against the traits Ciel possesses.

In E18, when Ciel falls into Sebastian's arms after choosing revenge over freedom, Sebastian is so, so reverent about him, his voice is so tender:

Sebastian: How reckless you are... You always exceed my expectations. As expected from my soul... No, as expected from my Young Master.

When Angela was torturing Sebastian, she was visibly disturbed at the level of his devotion to Ciel. This is a bit of the conversation they have:

Sebastian: Even so, my Young Master is still going. Even if all the game pieces are taken away, the King is left. He'll never admit defeat. My master is that type of a person.

Angela: One day, the real Doomsday will come. On that morning, you'll have as many souls as you want. Just give up that boy.

Sebastian: I refuse. I'm tired of my previous life, only knowing to eat. I only want my Young Master. I don't want anything else besides him.

When Ciel comes close to breaking the contract, Sebastian doesn't attack him like he tried to do in the Book of Atlantic flashback. Instead, he leaves, but he also keeps following him, going as far as secretly leading him to where Ciel wants to go. He then watches Ciel obsessively from the roof. Angela is talking to him, making offers, trying to engage him, but Sebastian just throws a distasteful glance at her and immediately gets back to staring at Ciel.

There are way more moments like this in S1, but this is getting so long that I'll get to S2 now. The entire season is about obsession. Sebastian doesn't kill Ciel just because he doesn't want to. He comes up with stupid excuses that fall under even superficial scrutiny. He plans to help Ciel achieve his revenge for the second time because Ciel lost his memories. Claude calls him out on being utterly obsessed, and Sebastian states how special Ciel is and how he's worth it. Also, Alois' entire wish revolved around hurting Sebastian, and to achieve this, Claude decided to steal Ciel from him.

Sebastian is so upset that Ciel remembers few things that even the entire E2 is called "The Lonely Demon". He's so angry about Claude touching and keeping him that he tries to use Grell as Ciel-substitute a bit, serving and making them tea. At the very end, Sebastian once again finds himself unable to kill Ciel even though he loses every reason to serve him. Technically, the contract still binds them, but we saw that demons can easily kill their masters if they want. Instead, Sebastian is so lost about his own feelings (along with Ciel) that he tries to follow the same rituals, such as pretending he's making tea for Ciel when in fact the cup is empty. He ends up carrying him to Hell with him, even though again, he has every reason to kill him.

There are lots of other nuances and great details. Their relationship is so complex and beautiful, and so much is left in the subtext that I just can't get enough of it. I hope you keep enjoying watching it!

Added: I completely forgot about a few points! When Ciel’s soul is gone and his unconscious body remains, Sebastian keeps putting him in bed, making tea for him, talking to him about his plans, and even reading him books. This is just... amazing, considering who he is))

[vs-redemption]

Crime is Common. Logic is Rare. (Ch 17)

Chapter Seventeen: Grateful (HawksxGN!Reader)

Plot summary: You thought your hands were full as a regular quirk geneticist, but then you meet Hawks and things get even more exciting!

Warnings:  

⚠️This story contains spoilers from the manga.

⚠️Some events and plot points have been altered from the original manga

Tag List: @ gayforkeigo/ @marshmallow-witch/ @redflannel/  @toyo-shiro

Next Chapter : Chapter Guide 

Waiting for anything was never fun, but it’s something you thought you’d be used to by now. As a scientist, having patience was a virtue you’d been forced to adopt into your daily routine. You were always waiting for something. No research endeavor could be accomplished by one person alone. You were always going to have to wait for funds to be granted, proposals to be approved by ethics committees, and data results to be analyzed thoroughly. Over the years, you’d tamed your eagerness and learned not to send emails asking people as politely as possible to hurry up whenever you felt things were taking too long. All that progress seemed to have gone up in smoke though now that you were waiting to hear back from someone you cared about who could very likely be dead.

Your part of the plan had gone fairly smoothly. After finishing up with Dr. Garaki, you’d made your way home to change your clothes and do your hair. You didn’t want to look completely recognizable, just in case, but you doubted anyone would really notice what you were up to. Not many people actually knew where Best Jeanist lived, so circumstances had been on your side in that respect at the very least. Despite not knowing you, the number three hero had been surprisingly accepting of the news that his life had been chosen to be sacrificed so that Hawks could gain the trust of the Villains. You had figured it would be more difficult to convince him, but perhaps he’d already seen signs of corrupt activity within the commission before. It was reassuring to see that he trusted Hawks over the organization that governed the heroes. You might have suspected that he planned to turn you in, but he never once asked for more details than the ones you gave him. He assured you that he could find a way out of Japan without being noticed before telling you to be careful and sending you home.

That had been hours ago, and every possible horrible scenario had played out in your mind over and over as you waited for news. It was well past your usual bed time when your phone finally buzzed with a message from Hawks asking if you were awake and if he could come over. You allowed yourself to relax just a bit. He couldn’t send you anything else since his phone was bugged, but at least you knew he was alive. Of course you told him to come over. It took him a while to get to your apartment from wherever he had been, and it was all you could do not throw yourself into his arms in relief when he finally arrived. You couldn’t act like you’d been worried at all.

“Hey,” Hawks smiles after you let him in. He looked troubled but completely unharmed. “I can’t believe you’re still awake.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” You play along with the small talk. “I got some interesting news about my quirk from the doctor today.”

“Is everything all right?” Hawks frowns, looking even more stressed than he already had. You felt bad for making him worry at all, but at least this gave you an excuse to close the gap and pull him into your arms. He sinks into your embrace and wraps his arms around you without hesitation. You’d both desperately needed the contact.

“Everything is fine,” you explain while rubbing a soothing hand over what you could reach of his back around his wings. “My quirk just works differently than what I originally thought, so now I’m trying to work out how I feel about that. I can tell you more about it later though. How was your day?” He lets out a dry laugh and pulls away to look you in the eyes.

“Oh, you know,” he sighs. “Same old, same old. Patrolling the city, catching bad guys, typical hero stuff.”

You knew very well that he hadn’t been doing any of those things, and it made your heart ache to see the turmoil in his beautiful golden eyes. You reach up to put a hand on his cheek to try and give him any sort of comfort. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch.

“Are you hungry?” you ask even though you were impatient to hear all the details of what he’d really been up to all day. His part of the plan had been much more difficult than yours. He’d been tasked with finding a decoy body, staging a confrontation with Best Jeanist, and selling the act that he’d murdered a fellow pro hero to the League of Villains. None of those things would have been easy, but it was at least better than him actually committing the atrocity he’d been asked to.

“No,” Hawks nuzzles into your hand a moment longer. “I just want to spend some time with you.”

“Cheesy,” You reply teasingly before gently leading his face forward so you could surprise him with a sweet kiss. He doesn’t hesitate to kiss back with a little more gusto than you expected. You didn’t mind, but it made you feel weird that some villain was listening in on everything that happened between you and your hero boyfriend.

“Hey,” you pull away with an apologetic smile. “Why don’t we just chill and watch something on TV for a bit?” Hawks just smiles and nods his head. It would be a good way for you both to write down everything that had happened without having to fake a second conversation at the same time. You go and grab a notebook while Hawks takes off his flight jacket and boots.

“Maybe I should start keeping a change of clothes over here,” Hawks says casually as he plops down on your couch with his wings draped over the back. “If you’re going to make a habit out of letting me stay.” You pick up the blanket off the back of the sofa and toss it at his face to hide the fact that he’d flustered you.

“Or maybe I should start charging you rent,” you raise an eyebrow challengingly. Hawks lets out a chuckle and you felt your embarrassment was worth seeing him acting a little bit normal.

“Come here,” He opens his arms and calls you over softly. You sigh in defeat while sitting next to him and leaning into his side. He covers you both with the blanket you’d thrown at him after retrieving the remote with one of his feathers. You put off the serious discussion just a little longer by arguing over what to watch. Once you came to an agreement, you open the note book and start scribbling down every detail about your interaction with Best Jeanist. Hawks reads over your words twice before writing down his side of the story.

He didn’t go in depth about the decoy body. He just said he’d been able to figure something out. You didn’t want to push the subject, so you just nodded and let him continue. He also wrote about his encounter with Best Jeanist. The man had been ready for Hawks’ visit thanks to you, and had played his role convincingly. Hawks mentioned that he wouldn’t have even known Best Jeanist had been tipped off at all if it weren’t for the packed bags ready by his front door. The number three hero had even prepared a set of his hero costume for Hawks to use to make the decoy body more convincing. They’d pretended to fight, and Hawks had gone to deliver the fake Jeanist to the villains.

Hawks explained that the villains had seemed satisfied with his work and had then taken him to Deika City to fill him in on everything that had happened since the incident there. It was bad. Real bad. Apparently the whole city of Deika had banded together under the ideology of quirk liberation without anyone ever knowing. The League of Villains had been able to take over the city and recruit every last citizen onto their team. They weren’t just a small group of villains anymore. It was an army with over 100,000 members. Something would have to be done to stop them as soon as possible. Hawks would continue to work his angle as a spy, but you would have to do your part too. It was imperative that you figure out what the doctor was planning to do with All For One’s blood. You promised to do your best, causing Hawks to pull you in even closer.

“I’m so grateful for you,” he whispers affectionately. The circumstances right now weren’t the best for building a relationship, but your feelings for Hawks continued to grow stronger. Sure, his actions recently were stepping outside of what was considered heroic, but he was still doing the best he could despite the horrible situation the Hero Commission had put him in. He was smart, strong, and above all else, he was good. You wanted to do anything in your power to get him through this safely and with as much of his sanity intact as possible. You smile while reaching up to run your thumb over his cheek again.

“I’m so grateful for you too.” The response seemed to please Hawks quite a bit. Not long after that, the exhaustion from the day caught up and you both fell asleep with the comfort of knowing you’d survived the day.

[ghostmartyr]

/clears throat/ so, Immi, I hear you like the locked tomb, which is fantastic! from one person also escaping the snk series into TLT to another, what did you think of the characters and plot in HtN? are there any things you're most excited to see when Alecto comes out in 2022?

-pats lifeboat- This baby can fit so much trauma.

SPOILERS, naturally.

With another paragraph informing the curious that unspoiled is the way to go into HtN, since if you aren’t lost and confused, are you really reading Harrow the Ninth?

I read it all in one day, and that was a choice. It does mean my memory and understanding of what all went on is slightly dependent on someone else on the internet exploding over a particular set of paragraphs and explaining their significance to me, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it.

HtN disappointed me on one front in that I was hoping seeing more of Harrow 1.0 would help out any future fic endeavors. On everything else, like the first one, being told the story is such a good time that I’m willing to wait on a full comprehension of where it’s going.

I also really like second person.

What I loved most about HtN is how even without Gideon mentioned until very, very late in the book, you can feel her absence everywhere. In the wrong bubble flashbacks you’re commanded to examine the strangeness, but even in Harrow going about her day, the isolation and the wrongness of it decorate her every action. She’s alone, and she shouldn’t be, and the loss she’s unaware of bleeds into a constant echo of grief.

I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated absence as a narrative tool so much. Obviously griddlehark hours go hard once they start in HtN, but even before then, there is so much power to their connection that looking into a world where it never exists still manages to punch you in the heart with how much each one inhabits everything the other is.

The whole series is amping me up with a few thoughts on loneliness, honestly. Gideon and Harrow grow up alone on the Ninth, save for each other. It takes leaving for that to be any kind of good thing. The first book is tag team Among Us with everyone in their little clusters, slowly learning what other people are about as they all drop dead.

The second book has a different vibe and different plot things going on, but it’s similar in that the protagonist gets thrown into a world they don’t fit and have to put on a show. Only now there are even fewer people to familiarize with, with that number correlating directly to how they all killed the person closest to keeping them from being alone.

Lyctorhood is taking the person dearest to your heart and trapping them there forever while they’re stripped of everything that made them who they are.

...Also Ianthe is there.

Gideon, Mercy, and Augustine are the last Lyctors standing after 10,000 years. There were only seven, starting out. Sixteen acolytes who came to the First. The only pair who didn’t succeed in condensing themselves is separated from the pack and sent to live away from their peers on a tiny planet that no one has anything good to say about.

Alecto is John’s -- who even knows, past A Lot, and he puts her to sleep and locks her in a prison no one but he can get past.

God has seven friends. More if you want to count the people in the Cohort, but realistically, he has seven friends. Then they keep dying.

Harrow spends HtN in a spaceship with five people.

One is trying to kill her.

One ordered that one to try to kill her.

Two could not care less about the useless baby Lyctor.

One is Ianthe.

There is no real endgame. There is surviving life, and life has become a game of running as far away as possible so you don’t share your ruin upon your inevitable death.

It’s bleak and sad.

Harrow’s healthiest relationships are with dead people, and some of them she didn’t know at all in life.

Reiterating it, the most plot significant bit of the world is finding someone else in the world, swearing yourself to them, and smashing your souls together until you’ve lost the connection entirely.

My brain’s not in the best place so I can’t do more than gesture loudly at it, but a few people have mentioned that the series’ thesis is a counter to Ianthe’s statement that love is acquisitive.

Harrow tightens her hold around Gideon until Gideon would rather she just strangle her and get it over with, all things considered. It fucks them both up, and when they start working to get past it, circumstance wraps a chain around both their throats.

The necromancers who become imperfect Lyctors have all acquired their cavaliers, and besides the cav, it kills that bond.

Harrow’s rejection of that is why Gideon’s soul is still in the world of the living (and John blood).

She has spent her entire life eating pieces of Gideon to keep herself a horrid imitation of whole, and when she is finally offered that, she refuses.

Grief and how Harrow just can’t are active elements of the book, and Magnus gives her more therapy in five minutes talking about it than she has ever had in her life, but the reason why that isn’t the end of Gideon is because, unlike all the other Lyctors, Harrow turns the offer down.

With the exception of Babs and Ianthe, the relationship between cavaliers and necros about to do the Lyctor thing is cavaliers promising to burn for an eternity while their necromancer lives off the fumes.

Fuck that is Harrow’s response.

Cytherea says, in the aftermath, that they had the choice to stop.

Harrow stops.

A lifetime of doing exactly what Gideon is telling her to do with her death, and Harrow chooses to stop.

Harrow remembers Ortus’ poetry. She regularly sees her congregation off to their deaths. She keeps Gideon’s glasses. She views Palamedes, head exploded and all, as an infinitely better person than she is because of the quality of his exemplary character. She pulls Gideon the First from the incinerator on the night she plans to kill him.

Kiddo has so many fucking issues, but somewhere, she has learned to respect people for being people. That’s why she and Gideon are the heroes of the story, ultimately, and Ortus saying that they’re heroes worthy of the Ninth doesn’t fall flat. They’re actually trying.

Where that puts us for Alecto, I don’t pretend to know.

Since the first book is the temptation of an end to isolation, only to have it snatched away, the second book is the continuation of isolation with a few promising sparks of human connection that pave the way for hope...

That leaves the third book to shed the isolation and allow the connections to thrive.

With Gideon and Harrow MIA.

I know that the books kick things up into high gear in the final acts each time, but if they’re both gone for the majority of the book, no matter how much fun it is, I’m going to miss them. They’re the core leads, and I don’t want to be without them in the final part.

The 2022 release date has aged my soul. I deliberately planned my GtN read to land a month before HtN came out, then suffered when that was delayed. When really that was nothing at all. I hate waiting.

(Insert note that I’m very glad they aren’t forcing Muir to rush anything out. It’s been a rough time, but also, just in general authors should have the opportunity to create the best versions of their art they can, so the extra time hurts, but it’s obviously for the best.)

What I’m most excited for is probably the cover art. The first two have been awesome, and the artist said he’d likely do print sales for all three when the third’s revealed. My wallet cries but my heart does not.

What I dare not be excited for is the potential for Gideon and Harrow meeting again and perhaps hugging. In their own bodies.

I’d take other bodies, but ideally, y’know.

Also I would love for Harrow to finally meet her popsicle girlfriend.

I doubt it would be a wholly positive experience, but by golly I want it. Maybe they could hug too. It would probably kill Harrow again, but who doesn’t expect several people to die again in the third book?

However it plays out, I’m expecting to enjoy AtN. The writing’s the sort that I’ll happily follow wherever it goes. For everything else, there’s fanfic. The only real worry I have is the whole book will be narrated by Ianthe, and while I mentally groan at that, I actually find Ianthe’s commentary delightful, so even in the worst case scenario I’m having a good time.

Thank you so much for the ask.

[belphegorbillickin]

Okay, but I can definitely imagine Barb/Dia doing that. It seems like quite a possibility. But wasn't dying mc's own fault though? Like,, Barbatos did warn,,, unless he knew this was gonna happen and mc was DUMB AND STUPID enough to show up to everyone like: "hi." and possibly be dumb enough to get killed. Idk lol I forgot this part.

But what you said about Beel, I really like that. I think you even mentioned belphie guilt tripping you in your yandere hcs, and trying to make you completely depend on him?? I like those possibilities. Mammon though,, too soft. Like you said, they've robbed him a lot. He could have had so much potential to be a dark character. Similarly Levi omg.

The brothers are the embodiments of the 7 deadly sins, yet, tbh, I haven't seen too much of this side of them. At least, not like how'd I expect. Leviathan, for eg. Envy. I don't recall seeing his sin playing out anywhere except in the TSL Quiz thingy. I mean, it's been toned down a lot for someone who's the literal embodiment is envy. Idk I just don't feel he's like that? As from what I found: Envy (Latin: invidia), like greed and lust, is characterized by an insatiable desire. It can be described as a sad or resentful covetousness towards the traits or possessions of someone else. The struggle aroused by envy has three stages: during the first stage, the envious person attempts to lower another's reputation; in the middle stage, the envious person receives either "joy at another's misfortune"(if he succeeds in defaming the other person) or "grief at another's prosperity" (if he fails); the third stage is hatred because "sorrow causes hatred".[38]

Envy is said to be the motivation behind Cain murdering his brother, Abel, as Cain envied Abel because God favored Abel's sacrifice over Cain's.

They toned him down a little too much?? If this game has actually been inspired by demons and the 7 deadly sins, they could at least make them similar to the demons, at least in some way. I'm not that far into the game yet, but so far that I've played, I haven't seen much. As for a demon who is the embodiment of envy... I wish to see more. Levi is capable of A LOT.

Similarly, Satan. I sometimes wonder why is he even called the Avatar of Wrath when we hardly see it?? The only time I remember is him losing his calm during the whole body swap event. The fact Satan got mad at us refusing a pact actually made me think that he was the sin "wrath", but idk now. And the way it was said that "every smile is an act", I really like that concept too. But I don't think I've paid much attention to see where it played out. Sigh now Satan simps for cats like,,, please show me your dark/evil side sir.

The way you said Barb and Dia took part in a torture dungeon, I want to see more of that too. If they're demons, wouldn't they have caused SOME sort of bloodshed in a way? Especially if they're the strongest demons. Killing humans, eating them, or I even like to think doing the same to their own race. Torturing... Seems like something that every demon's blood would contain lmao, I'm not answering questions bye.

And I believe so too. The human seems like a pawn... I feel the demons would use humans for entertainment and their own purposes, while keeping up the facade of loving them. It's easy, since demons are manipulative. In that case, losing the human whether by their own hands or not would go like: "Oh well, that's unfortunate. Time for another human."

But if they REALLY did love you, I feel they'd still be manipulative. Like you said. Corrupting/spoiling the human so much to the point that they'd just HAVE to depend on them. I feel they'd also have yandere tendencies, or be "protective". Like, then I feel they really wouldn't want to let you go, despite knowing how much it can ruin your innocence.

I also don't like how everyone is after mc like "uwuwu master". The human is still a weakling despite having pacts, plus, the pacts aren't even demanding the human's soul or anything. I don't get why they let mc walk over them when they are CLEARLY much stronger? If I were a demon I'd do the opposite lmao. Making the human seem as if they are controlling me, but it's the opposite. I don't think a mere pact can change the fact that the demon's stronger,,, esp if the pact didn't demand the human's soul/life/whatever.

Also, thank you! Things got better for me :)) and also,

💫✨💕send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going 💕✨

Ofc you don't have to do this, but I got this, and it really made me happy, so here ^^

Oh btw in lesson...56 I think?? Just gonna tag this as a spoiler, but where for whatever reason Satan was "Sully" and the angel Lucifer asked him whether he liked books, let me just say I haven't even played it that far yet, but Satan going, "...Every book here is precious."

TOUCHED ME SO BAD LIKE. I DON'T KNOW IT REALLY MADE ME SOFT LMAO HE'S JUST SO okay I'll stop 🏃– 🍹

It's been a while since I've thought in-depth about the whole time traveling thing tbh, but couldn't Barbatos generally see the outcomes of the world?

We went back because they wanted to know who opened it, but considering Diavolo's the ruler of hell who turned Lilith human and Barbatos is basically the ruler of time & practically the universe I believe they already knew Lilith did it since it had to be "blood related" basically.

Barbatos also knows he can stitch together timelines and get of "extra" MCs essentially, so I believe he'd take that into account. I'm not saying MC getting killed was 100% part of the plan, but that they didn't care of MC was traumatized because they knew they could bring them back if necessary.

Imo the real goal wasn't to find out who did it, but to avoid breaking the family's bonds and devotion to Diavolo. The way it worked out was incredibly convenient and "coincidentally" a huge upgrade for Diavolo that kept the status quo and made him look good (or at least better) to Belphie and Beel without making Lucifer choose.

We see that kind of repeat later when Diavolo withdraws from the play because he was worried Lucifer wouldn't be as loyal. That's also why Lucifer gets that warning from Barbatos.

I think a huge part of why Levi's characterization is like that is because not enough people like him enough to tolerate it tbh. Even Mammon and Lucifer stans complain about the other characters hogging screen time and a lot of them admit to feeling bad for other fans. Levi is pretty much always second to last popularity wise.

I think he'd actually be more liked if they focused more on the jealously instead of making almost every interaction otaku/Ruri-chan related, but it's a bit too late now. I really, really hate how they just pretend otaku culture always existed and that's all Levi ever was. Like at least make him have an obsessive personality and be hyperfixated on novels instead of talking manga in an era before Japan even existed. It's so unbelievably lazy and really takes me out of the story.

Another problem is we only really see him interact with family or people that could enact severe consequences like Diavolo & Barbatos or people protected by the exchange program. He never gets a chance to shine or be cunning. The closest we get is things like him purposefully trying to ruin Christmas for random people online in his Christmas card. I think if he genuinely got jealous of MC and some random demon he would summon lotan almost instantly.

It's especially painful knowing what we had & being so excited to get more only for all of that to get dropped.

In an early devilgram, Be You, Satan gets jealous and feels bad about not having much unique to him and Lucifer comforts him in his own way when the others make it worse. Mammon is the most empathetic though ofc. They also talk about horror movies and Mammon says he doesn't find them scary (& the way it's framed sounds honest, idk if it's a retcon or a lie,) and Satan says "I'm sure we've all witnessed plenty of real-life horrors worse than anything in the movies."

Then when Lucifer asks for a time when he was really angry Satan first casually then gleefully talks about torturing a family to death because a kid set him up to get scolded by their parents. Meanwhile the brothers act wary of him and worry about him getting out of control while Lucifer tells everyone to take cover for their own safety with a smile. Satan happily talks about them begging for their lives and says he wishes they saw it too.

Levi also says he hates hearing about people being happy, but likes hearing about the negative things. While Asmo and Mammon are freaking out he also calls Satan cool. Which shows at least a little bit of his envy for once. Satan also says just the aura of his rage is usually too much for humans which is also interesting.

But back to Diavolo and Barbatos, I don't hate how the whole torture thing isn't super open, it makes sense imo, but I would like to see hints of them hiding it. Especially if Satan or even attic Belphie was the one you could go to to learn more about it. If anyone would defy Diavolo for that it'd be them trying to bring Lucifer down with them, or even just Satan rewarding the hunt for knowledge and not understanding the human psyche fully.

Imagine if instead of a paper thin lie about being human we got a Belphie manipulating us by pretending he was locked up because he was against hurting humans and the whole exchange program was a scam? Or at least if he told us things no one else would about Diavolo that were true so we wouldn't trust him and etc. That's the angle I'm going with in my fanfiction at least, the original story is just so lazy and boring imo.

Yeah I'm not a huge fan of how they handled pacts either, especially considering they don't even get MC's soul. It's way too one-sided to the point where I don't believe someone like Satan would ever offer it, even if the first offer was a trick and he'd get your soul or something. I agree on the whole manipulation thing too, like how is it partnership if one side has complete control over the other?

Even just making it so that demons can fight against if they really don't want to do something like harming each other and having it corrupt MC would make it a million times better.

And that's so sweet, thank you! You've made my days a lot brighter too. Not much makes me happier than infodumping and complaining about Obey Me rn lol.

I really liked Satan's line there too, although I did wish he had more a reaction to everything tbh. That whole section felt a bit too easy imo though, like I kept waiting for it to all go to shit or something. I am glad they went back into more story-based chapters too. I hope they keep that trend and expand on it.

[falloutglow]

5 OTP Songs - Got Lost & Found Love - Echo Gray/Nick Valentine

Saw um... @its-sixxers doing this and weeeeeell... thought I’d uh, give it a shot.

tagging: @glitchvault74, @roachvalentine, @potatocrab, @diredigression, @wastelandersparadise, @nuclear-darling, @commonwealthcommoner, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO IT. sadfsdfkhsd heck

(art drawn by @wastelandersparadise​/ @pop-peroni​ ;w; <3 )

Electric Love by Borns|| Only the Lonely Survive by Marianas Trench|| Sleep by Poets of the Fall|| Kiss From a Rose by Dan Avidan & Super Guitar Bros (Seal cover) || Sway by Dean Martin

*lies the fuck down* You wanna hear me talk about lyrics, check below.

Electric Love by Borns

Honestly, this and a few other songs are very tea shop monsters au (long story) related, but I cannot stop associating this song to them. Helps that Nick’s a synth aaaaand Echo’s got (surprise!) electrokinesis as one of her psyker power(s).

And every night my mind is running around her Thunder's getting louder and louder Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle I can't let you go now that I got it

All I need is to be struck By your electric love Baby, your electric love Electric love

Also...its sappy af and super cheery and its what they deserve.

Only the Lonely Survive by Marianas Trench

So. I’m in slowburn hellscape with these two fools. This song is basically a mutual pining, we both have baggage, and “I can’t be loved.” combo deal.

I don't know how you feel yourself But I'd rather hurt here than be happy somewhere else No one will scar me like you do But no one will ever be compared, compared to you

The heart gets slow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh We all heal though-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh You never know-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh To stay or go

Echo’s been debating for as long as she’s been in Diamond City if she should leave or stay in Diamond City. She’s never voiced it to anyone except to Dogmeat. Hell, she’s afraid of getting close to anyone...in fear of being found out. Who she is... Who she could even trust...

Meanwhile, Nick’s got the baggage of a depressed pre-war cop in his head on top of all the shit he’s dealt with being a synth. It’s hard to know how anyone ( ESPECIALLY new) will react to him. Sure he’s got a quick tongue and will absolutely demolish folks if they even try to start shit- but that shit still hurts and is probably something he just... will sometimes get hit with especially during the quiet hours of the night when few folks in Diamond City are still awake...

Burns us both To love this close We lose ourselves And I know we won't get out alive But only the lonely survive

They are both lonely people trying to make do with the world they found themselves in and spread some kindness. They are both also very much idiots who will thrust themselves into very stupidly dangerous shit without thinking of themselves. dumbasses. 

It hurts like hell To love this well But no one falls The way we fell We'll burn alive Only the lonely survive

Mutual Pining fools who cannot fathom anyone wanting to be in a close relationship (let alone intimate) with them because of the baggage they carry. Slowburn hell...where the other helps, slowly but surly, unpack the luggage and tell them to stay a while...

Sleep by Poets of the Fall

I’ve definitely mentioned uh this song before where I kinda see it as Nick watching Echo deal with her echoes nightmares no matter where they go in the wastes while on a case.

Hear your heartbeat Beat a frantic pace And it's not even seven AM You're feeling the rush of anguish settling You cannot help showing them in

It takes a while, but after realizing how tough it is for her to sleep sometimes, Nick starts offering his coat as a blanket, and surprisingly it...helps. While it can’t always block Echo’s ‘echoes’, it helps her sleep longer and well...after time it just becomes routine.

Still it don't mater if you won't listen If you won't let them follow you You just need to heal Make good all your lies Move on and don't look behind

As their bond and feelings grows stronger as well as realizing how much comfort they give each other...they start letting each other into the flashes they see...

Day after day Fickle visions messing with your head Fickle, vicious Sleeping in your bed Messing with your head Fickle visions Fickle, vicious

Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in And carry you over to a new morning

Because Echo’s not the only one who sees memories that aren’t her own. Nick admits he gets glimpses of memories from pre-war!Nick, the guy whom’s brain the Institute (illegally) downloaded into a synth. This song sorta starts out as an almost lullaby of sorts, for Nick to try and help Echo get more sleep and turned into a shared “You’re tired while you’re brain never stops. Let me be here for you, and help you get through this.

Kiss From a Rose by Dan Avidan & Super Guitar Bros (Seal cover)

Not gonna lie the main reason why is just a few dashes of lyrics from this song:

My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen

and

A light hits the gloom on the grey

Nick’s eyes literally glow and Echo’s eyes are silver gray...and well her last name is also Gray but yea lol. Does not help its got that slow dance energy. What do the lyrics mean? fuck if I know, its a song that gives me feels that’s all I got.

...Also...first kiss...eventually yes... *lies down*

Sway by Dean Martin

SO. This is like spoilers (cause its still WIP) but uh... ahem. Their first dance is to this song.

When Marimba Rhythms start to play Dance with me, make me sway  Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore Hold me close, sway me more

The amount of times I’ve listened to this song for the fic..and then also like marked the end of certain lines to figure out timing of the lyrics? Ho man... ANYWAYS, I sorta hc that Nick would really enjoy the “crooners” like the Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra; Dean Martin; those dudes) along with jazz music. Sway being one of his, uh, fav songs and a dif hc is that Nick likes to dance. Possibly having flashes from OG!Nick and associating dancing with good energy/memories. Finding a dance partner in the wastes is a bit hard.

Other dancers may be on the floor Dear, but my eyes will see only you Only you have the magic technique When we sway I go weak

MORE spoilers: Echo realizes she’s got a crush.

[dutten-does-the-fanfic]

Obviously you don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel motivated or don’t want to write but i was wondering if you had any big plans for the future- both personal/original projects and fan fictions. Love ur writing! Again, plz i mean not to pressure you just genuinely curious

Hello! And thank you, that’s so sweet of you :3 I don’t remember if I’ve said this (I’m pretty sure I have??) but I’m currently in uni, and course-load and exams have practically made it their mission to kick my ass at every possible moment, which is why there are these long breaks where I’m just, completely inactive (and I hate it, but I haven’t unlocked enough levels of adult to figure out how to healthily balance my work life and personal life - maybe in a few years ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

But I am still writing!! (or, am going to be when I get a moment to breathe) Definitely motivated and interested and keeping at it!! :D

As for projects, oh boy. What haven’t I got going on (loads, is the answer, but to go over a few!)

I don’t really have any original projects - I’ve never really liked creating oc’s for some reason? I much prefer having the characters from a show/book/whatever and working off of them for the story/plot whilst still keeping some of the character we all fell in love with intact - I don’t know. I really love making small comments about the OG platform (quotes, moments, mentions, really anything, just small easter eggs for myself and whoever reads the story) that I obvs wouldn’t be able to make with my own OG content xD Everything would be canon then.

As for fanfiction! So much!! Absolutely none of it is finished, because I have zero patience or sense of delayed gratification when it comes to posting - I just want it all out at once and to read everyone’s comments at once xD

I’ve got stories going for a few different fandoms and ideas just written down in my ever-growing ideas-doc for even more! I think I’m going to correctly assume you might be here for the SKAM fics, tho ;p

Basically, I’m horrible with understanding what is and isn’t a spoiler because I know the twists and turns so I just take it all for granted - however, when I actively try to describe a fic without spoilers, they end up sounding genuinely dull xD But I’ll do my best without giving too much away!

I’ve basically got so many stories going at once that I genuinely have no idea how many there are as I always forget some, so here are a selected few!

Obvs, there’s Even’s POV for “Something Great” (aka “that fic” aka my twitter legacy) which is nowhere near done. I’m really loving what I have got down, though! As far as I remember, I’m about 8k in, but I’m shooting for 30-40k, so no time frame. In case you didn’t know, I’ve done an entire announcement post where there are also a few previews included :D

Then there’s a pretty much crack fic with some angst and a way for me to memorize my course work that actually isn’t too far from being finished, but... it needs some work. It’s basically one of those “heeey, you’re pretty much my best friend and I don’t have unrequited feelings for you at all (lies), so it’s totally okay that we pretend to hook up to get back at our roommate who keeps sexciling us only for it to turn real” kind of AU.

Then there’s the other crack fic from boy squad’s POV (well, Jonas, but they practically serve as one entity) about them being oblivious to Evak until one day Isak announces #Evak is real, but they’re just so sure they would have noticed something, so they think Isak and Even are pranking them, so they set out expose them. A+ content, if I have to say so myself.

Next there’s my newest pride and joy that I’ve currently got sitting somewhere between 50-60k with no end in sight. I love this story, I cannot being to describe just how much I love this story. There is so much to this story, and I don’t want to give anything away :’( Basically, Isak has quite serious trauma from something that happened in his childhood, and it’s set during his second year in high school - he’s living in the Kollektiv (with four rooms, ‘cause I aint sending Noora to London), and he’s got the boy squad, Eva and Jonas are still dating so the girl squad also make a lot of appearances. And it’s basically just this major character exploration of the different ways Isak’s trauma appears, how it impacts the way he interacts with other people, the way he sees the world and other people, how he basically doesn’t deal with the trauma and how severely it affects him. And then there’s this entire thing about the sudden suicide of a famous Norwegian pianist (not one of the major characters, I ain’t about that life) that somehow ties into everything and everything turns very shady.

That barely covers the actual story and I’m pretty sure it sounds so jumbled up, but I literally can’t figure out how to describe it without spoilers.

Then we’ve got another angst-galore! A traveling AU! Which, timing, I know. We’ll ignore that. With my pace, it won’t be ready until traveling is allowed again anyway ^__^’ It plays on the themes of lost and found, and it’s basically about how Even travels to find out who he is, but he ends up finding Isak instead, running into him in different cities and countries, and they fall in love, but Isak is traveling to lose himself and everyone - ah. Angst-galore indeed.

What else - there’s a snakesak ABO!AU, because I’ve never written either, and for some reason, I must’ve apparently felt the need to put the two together. ABO is the kind of AU that pretty much everyone holds different opinions on - it’s not a tag I filter out, but it pretty much differs from story to story how much I like it. All I know is, when it is done well, it is done well.

I know there are more, because there are always more. I’ve definitely got so many ideas that I haven’t gotten anything down more than the premise: There’s a murder mystery AU, because I’ve wanted to do one pretty much since I wrote the first chapter for Beat the Record (you know, back when it was still just supposed to be a oneshot xD) and now I’ve finally got a basic storyline for it! Featuring detective Even who has been demoted to a permanent deskjob and basically only kept on out of pity after screwing up evidence? an assignment? plans still pending. Not accepting this, he sets out to catch the new serial killer with the help of newly hired forensic scientist Isak, whom he asks for help because of how talented Isak is, not because Even has a big-ass crush on him. Then there’s the university AU that’s basically a rom/com where Even is one of the hosts for the uni’s radio station, sees pretty boy Isak generally being a mess, falls instantly in love and keeps talking about “the cute boy” on the radio, asking if anyone knows his name and if they can get him his number. Isak only finds out about it because Magnus is a listener and accidentally figures it out.

And so many more. Literally. We are talking pages upon pages, let alone some quite long stories I also have going for other fandoms. I seriously can’t wait - I just need to get myself writing xD

I hope this helps tide over the long waiting period a little :) xx <3

[yet-another-saberface]

Story Headcanons: Fuyuki (Part 2 ~ Sections 4-8)

Spoiler warning for the listed chapters of the game!

We continue attempting to figure out what’s going on in Fuyuki, and things only get worse. HCs are under the cut because this is a rather long text post! Let’s go!

Section 4: Investigate the Port Ruin

Eva is initially in a really good mood after learning that they’re basically stuck in the middle of a Grail War gone wrong. After all, that means there should be some people around, and more likely than people, servants. After just a few seconds she realizes that whoever is alive is probably a hostile servant, and that excitement promptly becomes terror.

The child makes sure to thank Mash after pretty much every fight, because really, why wouldn’t you thank the person doing most of the heavy lifting in terms of killing things. She figures she’d be dead if it weren’t for Mash so she’s gonna show that gratitude as much as possible.

Eva is now screaming only internally whenever she has to listen to lectures on magic she understands. Not even a quip. I mean, maybe there are advantages to pretending to be totally clueless? Who knows at this point.

She’s really tested when Olga says she’s fired as soon as they get back. She didn’t do anything to deserve getting fired! If anything, what she’s done so far should prove that that’s one of the worst possible options. Most of the staff is dead, they need as many people as they can get! Why the hell would you fire someone that’s proven they’re at least a bit capable?! She actually starts to yell back at one, but manages to stop herself before she does any real damage. She just cuts herself off with “the smoke must be getting to my head” or something like that.

Section 5: Investigate the Church Ruin

Eva gets tricked into resting for 10 seconds by justifying the break as checking up on Mash but then nope, no breaks here, more skeletons!

The skeletons aren’t an issue at this point but when a shadow servant shows up it’s all downhill from there. Olga’s no help, as expected, which is a bad thing in a fight like that. Mash gets pretty beat up, and Eva herself is positive that she must have sprained her ankle, but doesn’t mention it. Yay pretending you’re not wounded! (Not.)

When a second signal shows up just afterwards, the group knows they need to get the hell out of dodge. Eva runs away just a bit slower than the other two, trying to ignore the slight limp she’s got now as much as possible. She gets yelled at by Olga because she’s slow, but she takes it and just does her best to run faster while avoiding all of the flaming debris that’s littering… Well, everywhere. 

Section 6: Shadow Servant

And… There’s already another servant attack! She’s actually getting into the rhythm of fighting by now, and luckily, the running seems to have covered up the pain from her sprained ankle with pure adrenaline. She’s not even worried about proving her worth or anything right now. She just wants to stay alive. 

By the time a second one shows up she starts to worry a bit more than before, and her orders start to falter. But she ain’t going down yet. She can tell by now that these definitely aren’t ordinary servants, in part because of their physical appearance, but mostly because of their lack of any real thoughts. They act more like animals and servants, with their desire to just kill them, and so Eva actually manages to put aside any gripes she would have had about killing them, figuring that if they were normal servants at any point, they’re dead already.

The pain in her ankle starts to come back around when Mash gets injured, and with it, she notices just how hard she’s breathing, and the panic starts to resurface. When Caster shows up, she’s actually fully prepared for it to be another enemy, but this time, she’s lucky enough for it to be someone who isn’t a skeleton or a crazed, grail-infected maniac.

For just a moment, she’s ready to give into all of her panic, thinking she’s safe, before realizing that the fight isn’t actually over yet. Now that she’s let even a little panic back into the forefront of her mind, the fact that she doesn’t really know what she’s doing is on full display. Her reaction time to everything is delayed, meaning that Mash has to forgo attacking in favor of shielding her several times. Let’s be honest: If Caster hadn’t showed up, Eva probably would have died just now. 

By the time the fight is fully over, Eva’s all but collapsed on the ground. She’s mumbling answers to anything directed at her, doing all that she can to prevent crying, and trying to get weight off of her ankle as much as possible. She refuses to make eye contact with anyone, and any confidence that she had that she might be a capable Master is basically gone at this point. By the time Roman’s done explaining the situation to Caster, she’s managed to definitely prevent herself from crying, but her injury seems to be hurting more and more each minute, and she’s trying to keep her breath under control.

Some relief is given when she learns that defeating Saber is a possible way to resolve things, until she remembers that she couldn’t defeat any of the servants that Saber had already killed. Cue more panic, and her breath getting shakier than before. She’s dreading the next time someone tries to talk to her.

Of course, more skeletons show up before anyone does, which might have been worse. She managed to call out orders, but instead of her shouts sounding confident like they were initially, now they just sound desperate, and like she’s trying not to let her voice break in the middle of each word. She doesn’t notice that Olga’s glaring at her for showing weakness like this during the fight, but she sure does afterwards, and it does not help.

More than welcomes Caster calling out the fact that Olga doesn’t actually have the aptitude to be a Master, but at the same time isn’t sure how she feels about being responsible for another servant. She was scared enough about how Mash would fair under her command… And well, Mash has already gotten injured quite a few times. And she’s only a demi-servant. Does she even have enough mana to handle this arrangement?

Well she doesn’t exactly have a choice, so she’s gonna just go with it for now and keep concealing her emotions! Now all they’ve got to do is… Kill 3 servants and somehow deal with a corrupted grail. Yup. Just gotta get through that. And then, maybe, just maybe, she won’t get fired and can pull herself together for a few seconds.

Section 8: Mash’s Training

Surprisingly, Eva is genuinely glad that Mash hasn’t yet figured out how to use her Noble Phantasm. Right now, she’s unsure if she could even support a servant using one.

But as soon as everyone starts talking about it, she’s not going to just stay quiet, since it is an important matter. While everyone else seems to agree that it’s odd Mash can’t use it, Eva actually thinks that it’s perfectly reasonable. After all, Mash has no idea who she fused with, so she can’t very well figure out the True Name of the phantasm, or even have a clue what it’s meant to do. She also points out that everyone seems to think it’s her shield, when in reality, Noble Phantasms are only a servant’s main weapon maybe half of the time.

The others are actually surprised that she’d know enough to bring up those points, particularly Olga Marie. The director actually seems a bit annoyed that Eva managed to point that out, but she didn’t. Regardless, the team decides that it won’t hurt to try to figure it out for now, since they do have Caster with them. If they don’t figure it out, they’ll just worry about it some other time, maybe check Chaldea’s summoning records to narrow down the possibilities as to what servant Mash fused with.

What she doesn’t mention to the group is her other theory for why Mash can’t use her Noble Phantasm, and the one she thinks is more likely to be correct, that being that as a Master, she isn’t giving Mash enough mana to allow the use of a Noble Phantasm. She’s really hoping that doesn’t turn out to be the case, because she doesn’t need any more reasons to think she’s bad at this job.

Why did you draw the runes on Olga, Caster? Why not on the shield or something? We don’t want more of Olga whining in this house! (Better be damn glad Eva’s empathetic or else she probably would have tried to leave Olga to the skeletons at least once by now.)

…And then Caster decides to just go and say he’s gonna kill her. Fantabulous! Now everyone is panicking! Eva’s only bit of solace comes from the thought that maybe she actually can apply theory this one time and use a command seal if things get out of hand. At least. She hopes so. If not then… She’s dead. And that would be a serious issue.

Thankfully, Mash does manage to get her Phantasm working! Eva feels a little lightheaded afterwards, but she’s actually laughing and smiling again. It worked! She isn’t failing! She considered passing off that sprain that’s still bugging her as a consequence of this fight, but decides against it. After all, it hasn’t hindered her too badly so far…

Tags!

@contractgreen​ @panyum​ @withanina​ @campanulabell​ @delfinaschiffer​ @princessaslan​ @armageddon25​ @patproductions​