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#<- utter nonsense by the way
iamdieterbravo · 11 months
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au where hoffman is a literal bear who mauls people in a national park or some shit & strahm is the park ranger trying to subdue him
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waytooinvested · 5 months
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Small Problem... Chapter 2
You can find the full story on AO3
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Lena was in the middle of grinding up a chunk of dried rhubarb for her latest spell to try and de-miniaturise Kara when Dreamer came hurtling into the room at full speed, almost running right into the far wall when she failed to slow down in time, and startling Lena so much that she dropped her pestle.
‘Nia! What is it? What’s happened?’
She would have been more worried by the sudden entrance, if not for the fact that Nia was now bouncing excitedly from foot to foot, and holding -something- behind her back like a child who had just raided the cookie jar.
‘Have you seen Kara anywhere? She’s not on the snack table’.
There was a tiny huff of air against Lena’s ear, and an indignant little voice muttered ‘I don’t spend that much time with the snacks!’
‘She doesn’t spend that much time with the snacks’.
Nia chuckled at the passed-on-message, tilting her head to peer past the fall of Lena’s hair to where Kara was sitting comfortably on her shoulder, legs dangling by her clavicle and one hand fisted in her shirt for balance.
‘I don’t know why I even asked – I should have known if you weren’t making the most of a fresh batch of crullers you’d be in here with Lena’.
‘There’s CRULLERS???’
Lena didn’t have to speak up for Kara this time, because that had come out at a volume loud enough to make her wince, and definitely loud enough to carry to Nia standing a few feet away.
‘Kara, remember what we said about shouting and proximity to people’s ears?’
‘Oops, sorry…’ Kara patted the lobe of Lena’s ear apologetically. ‘But crullers Lena! I haven’t had a giant cruller yet, and you know they’re my favourite!’
‘Well hang on, that’s not what I came here to tell you! I got you a surprise!’
Nia was bouncing again, and at last Kara was diverted from the promise of fresh doughnuts by her obvious excitement.
‘What is it?’
‘It’s- drum roll please-’
Nia stamped her feet in a rapid tattoo to simulate her own drum roll, then brought out the thing behind her back with a flourish, plonking it down in the middle of Lena’s grimoire so it would be right in Kara’s line of sight.
‘-YOU!’
The big (well, little) surprise was a miniature Supergirl action figure. Just under five inches high, complete with Supersuit, cape, boots and flowing waves of plastic hair. They all stared at it for a moment, and then Kara lifted gingerly off Lena’s shoulder and floated down to have a closer look.
It was not a perfect likeness by any means, but one of the better of its kind, and seeing the two of them side by side was… a little uncanny, honestly. Kara walked a slow circle around her doppelganger, taking in its fixed plastic grin and hands-on-hips pose with a perplexed frown on her face.
‘Thank… you?’
‘What’s she supposed to do with it?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’
Kara and Lena looked at the doll, then at each other, then shrugged.
‘Not really?’
‘The clothes. You can take the supersuit off, I checked! Even the boots are proper leather. Well, pleather, but I think they’ll be comfy enough – they’re soft anyway, not stiff plastic, and they look about the right size’.
Kara perked up at that, keen to get back into something that would feel more like her usual self.
Once it had become clear that getting Kara back to her proper size wasn’t going to be a quick fix, they had done their best to get her properly outfitted. Alex and Kelly had taken Esme home to raid her doll box for anything that might come close to fitting Kara, and they had found a few things that worked, which Kara had been wearing on rotation. Her favourite so far had been a tiny pair of blue jean style stretchy pants, and a matching blue shirt with long sleeves layered under short that had once belonged to a Tiny Teen!TM doll. Her LEAST favourite was the ill fitting ‘sleepy bunnikins’ baby doll onesie she had been forced to wear for one humiliating afternoon while chocolate frosting was washed out of her other clothes after an incident of over-exuberance helping Esme decorate cupcakes for her upcoming birthday party. The rest fell somewhere between the two on the spectrum of acceptability, but none had made Kara feel entirely herself, and they had had no luck at all so far with shoes.
Until now.
‘YES! Thank you Nia!!! Lena, would you mind…?’
Kara gestured at the open grimoire and Lena obligingly stood it up on its end to hide her and the doll from their view, hoping that it wasn’t inadvertently insulting to her mother’s memory to use her revered magic book as a changing screen. She and Nia waited patiently for the reveal, sharing an amused glance at the mutters and grumbles that emerged from behind the book as Kara wrestled her plastic twin out of its clothes and pulled them on herself.
When at last she emerged the twee floral dress and pinafore she had borrowed from Esme’s littlest china doll was gone, and Kara was once more dressed in an approximation of her own clothes. She struck her familiar Supergirl pose, hands on hips, newly shod feet set wide apart, and looked hopefully up at them.
‘What do you think?’
Lena examined her tiny friend and nodded admiringly.
‘Much better. You look like yourself again’.
It was true, but not wholly true. The sizing was no worse than any of the other outfits she had been making do with lately to be fair – better if anything, since it was made of stretchy, forgiving material, but knowing how her suit was supposed to fit made it all the more obvious that the sleeves of this one were straining around Kara’s biceps, while the too-long pants wrinkled and the top hung loosely across her chest. Apparently the manufacturers had taken some liberties with Supergirl’s bra size…
Nia squealed and clapped her hands in delight. ‘I’m so glad I stayed up til 4am in an ebay bidding war for it, it was TOTALLY worth it!’
‘Nia, you didn’t!’
‘Yep – there’s loads of Supergirl dolls out there, but most of them are too big, or the clothes are just painted on. THIS one is a much sought after “Superhero In My Hand” model, and the clothes come off so that you can swap them out with other dolls in the series if you want to. I really wanted to get little Dreamer too, but that one still had another two hours on the auction and Brainy changed the wifi password to force me go to sleep, so my nemesis got her instead’.
Lena raised an eyebrow. ‘You have a nemesis?’
‘I do now. Ebay user Iheartdreamer98’.
Nia glared darkly at nothing in particular, then dropped to a crouch so that she was at eye level with Kara on the table, grinning again as if nothing had happened.
‘This is so cool. What do you think of the doll?’
‘I love the clothes, but the actual doll is a bit creepy, and they made me look kind of constipated. Now she’s out of the outfit I don’t think she really looks much like me at all’.
‘So you don’t want to keep her?’
‘Not especially’.
‘Can I have her then?’
Kara frowned. ‘What for?’
Glancing between Kara and Lena, Nia beckoned them both closer before whispering ‘hijinks’.
‘Go on…’ Kara whispered back conspiratorially (then had to repeat herself more loudly, because at her current size a whisper was inaudible unless she practically climbed into your ear canal).
‘Well -’. Nia reached over the grimoire to pull out the doll, which Lena noticed was now wearing Kara’s cast off frills (apparently despite thinking it didn’t look like her she had felt weird about leaving it entirely naked, even though it must have been a pain trying to dress a from-her-perspective-life-sized plastic dummy). ‘-Brainy knows I bought this because he was there when I was ordering it. But no one else does. Alex doesn’t. I thought there might be some good pranking potential in it. What do you think? Something to do while you’re stuck in here?’
Kara grinned back wickedly ‘oh yes’.
After the first couple of days spent getting used to her new size and taking part in a dozen different (failed) attempts at de-shrinking spells, Kara’s mood had shifted from distress to boredom. She couldn’t go to work. She couldn’t fly out to save the day from villains (though she had waged an hours long battle to oust a rat that had been attempting to set up home in the tower, then spent a further day amusing Esme with stories and re-enactments of her daring exploits). She couldn’t even go out without someone’s pocket to hide in, in case anyone saw her and decided to use her relative vulnerability to their advantage. In fact as Nia had alluded to, the main solace Kara had now was her continued delight in over-sized snacks, but even her appetite had its limits, and she was desperate for things to do. It seemed that Nia might just have found a neat solution to both her need for proper clothing and her need for entertainment (even if it was at the expense of her long-suffering sister).
‘You’re with us, right Lena?’
‘I’m theoretically with you. I won’t tell Alex what you’re up to or do anything to spoil your fun, but I don’t think I’ll have time to actively join in. I really need to keep working on this spell so you can get back to normal’.
Lena hadn’t been doing anything but working on spells since Kara’s accident, even though she had long since tried even the most tenuously promising charms in her mother’s book, and was more or less just making things up now. She was using rhubarb, because it was known for its speedy and extensive growth. Bamboo shoots for the same reason. A dose of her artificial yellow sunlight to boost Kara’s innate powers and lend the spell strength… she was about 48 hours away from suggesting that Kara drink up her milk and go to bed early in the hopes that it would help her grow up big and strong, or else poking about in rabbit holes to find the way down to Wonderland and the caterpillar’s magic size changing mushroom, but she couldn’t admit it.
Not when whatever had happened had to have been her fault. She and Kara had been standing over the workbench together at the time looking through her grimoire. Their hands had collided as they both reached to turn a page and Lena had felt the usual surge of butterflies that came with touching Kara unexpectedly. Then suddenly all hell had broken loose and everyone else had been thrown across the room while Kara shrank to dolls house proportions. It must have been some unforeseen magical accident linked to the surge of emotion, or the physical contact while touching the book, or… something. And if Lena’s magic had caused this, that meant it must also be able to fix it.
The trouble was that despite going over the interaction second by second in her mind every hour since it had happened, she still had no idea what she had done, or how. She hadn’t been trying to do a spell. Not just a shrinking spell, but any kind. The idea that magic could just burst out of her uncontrollably like that was terrifying, and another reason why she had been spending most of her time holed up in this room away from the others, where she couldn’t accidentally hurt anyone.
In fact the only person she hadn’t made excuses to stay away from for more than five minutes at a time lately was Kara.
Kara, who was the one Lena had most hurt with her accidental witchcraft, but also the only other person who was as trapped in the tower as Lena was until she learned to keep her magic under tighter control. It felt unfair to turn her away when she was already so lonely and overwhelmed by her new size. Besides, Lena harboured a secret, desperate hope that if they were together enough then whatever she had accidentally done might be undone the same way. They would brush knuckles in exactly the right place at exactly the right moment, or Kara would step onto some special part of the grimoire, and just as suddenly as she had shrunk, she would grow back to her usual size and this would all be over.
She didn’t say that to Kara of course – to her and to everyone else she remained optimistic, assuring them that they weren’t out of options yet, and the next spell might just be the one that would do the trick. Well then, the next. Or the one after that. She would find it eventually. She had to. So she couldn’t let herself get diverted into playing games with Nia and Kara, no matter how hopefully they were looking at her now. That would be like admitting she was giving up. And besides, somebody might get hurt.
Kara crossed the table to her and patted her knuckle gently, understanding something of her distress, even if not all of it.
‘I know you want to work this out Lena, but you’re allowed to take a break. It’s okay if it takes time. I’m okay’.
Lena smiled back at her gratefully, but shook her head.
‘I know, and I’ll take a break if I need to. I just want to do a little more work on this one first’.
‘Are you coming up for dinner at least? J’onn’s cooking something Martian-inspired’.
‘Sounds good, but I’m not really hungry. Save me some left overs?’
‘Sure…’
Kara still didn’t look happy, but she flew up from the table to perch on Nia’s shoulder, and Lena listened to the two of them talking about how best to prank the others with their look-alike Kara as they clattered off back down the hallway, leaving Lena alone with her spells.
Rhubarb.
Bamboo.
Artificial yellow sun.
There had to be a way.
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touchlikethesun · 10 months
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the next time someone calls english a "simple language" i'm bringing out the knives. this goes for any other language too actually. there's no such thing as a "simple" or "simplified" human language. if people speak it natively, it will be as complex and as simple as any other language. stop it with these made up hierarchies born of bitterness ffs
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waterfallofspace · 4 months
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i love reading ur tags 🥰
omg- this is so sweet???? thank you???? 😭💗🫂
I always feel like a bit of an insane person in the tags (which is so true i am entirely chaos-horn driven in them >:3) so I'm so glad it's enjoyable to read them!! Thank you so much non!!!~ <3
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lecliss · 10 months
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Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.
#she takes on a very 'obsever' role. like kashi is the teacher watching over them. but sock is the watching and commenting from the same#perspective of nart and sauce and also the viewer unlike kashi. cuz he provides a lot of exposition and whatnot in his inner monolgues#and its like. of course the girl is just the observer who watches alongside us as the two main boys grow and develop#AND I DONT WANNA FUCKIN BE PESSIMISTIC ABOUT THIS BUT GOD ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!#but her whole character so far is 'i hate the class clown. im book smart. i diet and im in love'#and the way i see it is. 12yo girl TRYING to fit into the femininity she sees in the world around her so she forces herself to be like this#but she has inner sock who speaks what she really feels showing that she puts on quite a front and isnt really much like that at all#and you expect her to grow into wanting her to truly define herself. and she does with getting stronger and training under tsunade and#learning medical ninjutsu so she really finds a spot for herself. she does!!! but then she KEEPS hanging onto the love nonsense#and admittedly there are moments that push a very obvious trope of thinking she likes sauce cuz hes cool but finding out that the real 'gem'#is nart so i definitely understand where n@rus@kus are coming from#but then she just STICKS with sauce until its the worst ship possible and its an utter mess of 'ill never give up on him'#EVEB DESPITE HIM TRYING TO KILL HER!!! THEN THAT FUCKING WORKS OUT!?!?!?#AND TOO THIS DAY SAUCE STILL NEVER COMES OFF LIKE HE ACTUALLY LOVES HER#IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE. SARD WE ARE GETTING YOU BETTER PARENTS. ON GOD!!!!!#so she just hangs on to this one little thing that she SHOULD have gotten development for to move on from BUT IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS#so its like half her development never fucking happens and thats why it#s such a fuckinf mess!!!!!#i fucking hate this show. i need to go back to watching mike's dino game vod. what am i doing here?????#i did this to myself btw. i didnt need to start yelling about that but thats just how it is with nart#start thinking about something good and then it reminds you of something related thats bad and now its like. yeah this shit sucks#remember when kishi said he regretted not making hina the heroine???? we could have lived in a better timeline.#but if i say that i will get assassinated#anyway.#sock count#personal
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hecksupremechips · 28 days
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re: udg reblog,
clearly the solution to “oh i love this but i don’t think anyone should play it” is to write a fic with only the good parts and none of the bad parts but then you have this big empty space where the bad parts were so you just make something up that seems vaguely believable
that seems like a normal thing normal people do right?
RIGHT?
It’s always correct and totally won’t ever lead to agony as you look at the canon and scream because my god how are you supposed to salvage something this stupid why are you doing this you used to be so normal and not care oh god why does attacking the little girl make her pants fly off oh god why is delta a character
#ask#i love zwg truly. but i understand the agony#if i wanted to make a better version of udg or really any dr game i have no clue where id start my god theres so much happening#obviously the clown nonsense that is komaeda in that game needs to stay because theres really nothing better than seeing him be bullied#by a bunch of grade schoolers who throw milkshakes at him and draw on his face with sharpie#oh oh and the sexy byakuya fantasies need to stay too because if youre bad at the puzzles like me he just bullies you#its dry catered to the shit me and my sister meme about akjsks#the shit with the kids though..........yikes#also fuck shirokuma i cant stand him literally the most obnoxious character ever created#it felt good to kill him#i was doing a proper playthrough of udg last year see cuz id never played it myself#just watched playthroughs when i was 14 and edgy and had no frame of reference for good writing yet#so it was fun not only re experiencing the utter. obscenity that is this game and also trying to figure out the mechanics#its kinda fun sometimes until the boss fights happen then its like actually the worst thing ever i may have needed to walk around angrily#and basically i was on ch4 and stopped when there was a mission with haiji cuz i just. needed to stop#havent played since im too frightened aksjks#and yeah the agony of trying to rewrite a game is shared cuz im going through it with p3#and basically basically i have been trying so hard and was in a good zone but basically i snapped recently#cuz the kirijo group stuff my god its just so bad that i like theres just no way i can make this game make sense#i have the one project where everything is restructured but then i have the stuff where like. I have to make this fit the game structure#loosely cuz it was just supposed to be a character analysis fic but basically my brain hath broken its kaboom#though p3 is a lot more workable than ztd is my god theres just too much happening at once there aksjks#you are so brave for what youve done Kay 🙏#and to any poor soul who wants to do a rewrite of a frustrating story......have fun. but watch out
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About a week ago I read the stupidest opinion piece I have ever seen from a philosophy professor who I will fortunately never have the displeasure of actually meeting due to me being 1) out of college and 2) living in the midwest rather than the east coast.
One of the points he made in his article was claiming that in the Lord of the Rings, industrialization is bad because it's industrialization.
No! Industrialization in the Lord of the Rings is bad because it damages the environment, it's following the same lines as real-world industrialization (aka exploited factory workers who often suffered horrifying injuries, the OSHA laws written in blood, the triangle shirtwaist factory fire!), the control factory owners chose to exercise over their workers being everything but legal enslavement, and it's making everyone miserable for all of those reasons!
I don't know how anyone could read the chapters on Mordor, Isengard, and the Scouring of the Shire without taking away that Tolkien's message was partly environmentalist, partly that people deserve to be happy, that industrialization is bad because it's hurting everyone, not just destroying their way of life but making people miserable and leaving them to starve!
Anyways. I bet the professor citing the lord of the rings has never actually read the books and probably not even seen the movies because he puts out the sort of navel-gazing drivel that makes it obvious he thinks "frivolities" like fantasy are below him.
It's a good thing that I will likely never meet this guy, because I would throw hands with him in a McDonalds parking lot.
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oftimeslostlongago · 1 year
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This world was strange, it was a mirror copy of the one he had grown up on, even down to the sun. Yet nothing else seemed to be the same. He needed answers for that, though how he found them he didn't know. For now pretending to just be Clark Kent seemed to be helping. He didn't want to show his hand until he had no other option. It didn't seem like there was kryptonite here, and whilst that would be a complete relief, he also didn't really want to risk it if he was wrong, or there was something worse. If things got too out of hand then he'd do act. For now, it was just a case of being Clark, and occasionally accidently-on-purpose bumping into people. "Oh goodness, I'm so sorry, are you alright?"
@walstarterblog
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im-captain-basch · 1 year
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I really really hate this whole "YouTube blocking adblockers and forcing you to either buy Premium or have ads" thing. It's so fucking stupid. I shouldn't have to play an Uno reverse card every time YouTube gets wise to a filter in it.
Premium isn't even all that good! It was great when you had access to original series, but once they stopped coming out with those, it's become so hard to justify having it solely to use when I want to listen to videos when I'm at work or moving about with no room in my hands for my phone, especially since it seems like the price for it keeps going up.
They're really intent on killing yet another platform, huh.
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The short clip of “planet of the bass” was better than the full version
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iniziare · 4 months
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Slowly but surely, as I'm dying listening to ZL voice-overs in a playlist. Tag drop #1: OOC.
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transfaguette · 1 year
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guy who just discovered cocoa pebbles: man you gotta try this
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What will be interesting is from that I think they will acknowledge the crap Kate got pre marriage too, a section on how women marrying into that family are treated before, and talking about that with compassion and frustration, before driving in the fact Meghan's abuse had more layers to it than that though. It's a fact it was consistent with no let up, it being driven heavily by racism whether media wants to deny it or not and with it coming at least partially from within the Palace walls itself.
And I think that could be a section that while yes Harry and Meghan speak out against the press abuse, it could very well be an area of the documentary that the historians feature heavily in?
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imidori-ya · 6 months
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Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros is literal hot garbage and I will die on this hill.
#like it’s literally one of the worst constructed/written books I have ever encountered#how on earth could Yarros be married to a 20+ year military vet and yet still not even understand the most basic military concepts#it’s honestly astounding how brain dead her characters are#the way she writes makes it abundantly obvious that she thinks her readers are a bunch of idiots#who need every single story theme and element hand fed to them#the introduction of Varrish was just utter bullshit#she could have painted ‘VILLAIN’ on his forehead and it would’ve been less obvious#please tell us again how smart your main character is while she proceeds to do the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen#‘oh why won’t xaden trust me with rebellion secrets even though I basically announce my suspicions of the empire at every turn?’#idk violet maybe it’s bc you won’t do the mind training they’ve been telling you to do#so you’re constantly vulnerable to the mindreader YOU KNOW PERSONALLY#maybe that’s why no one tells you anything???#also holy shit her being like ‘I have to be careful and not let the empire know I’m questioning my duties’#and then immediately crashing into a scribe meeting to request more red flag reading??#like??? was she kicked in the head???#also the dragons stating multiple times that humans are basically like ants to them and they don’t care if they live or die#but simultaneously having to somehow be subserveant to the military????#bitch why weren’t you all enslaved by the dragons#this is such nonsense#also her prose is ass#come back when you can tell the difference between parse and parcel Rebecca#yeah a lot of my complaints are iron flame related#but that’s just bc it really hit home how bad this all is with the second book#net zero improvement#way to fail downwards Rebecca#ALSO!! what evil empire would conscript their enemies children into the one branch of their military where they get DRAGONS and SUPERPOWERS#like what??!!#in what world#what military would be so afraid of a new rebellion that they conscript the people with deep emotional ties to the old rebellion???#if real militaries worked this way there would be no more war bc we’d all be dead
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machinel1ke · 9 months
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Ok but We Were Rock And Roll by Janelle Monáe really is the most Snowbaird song ever
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elliestoybox · 1 year
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Yknow what fuck it
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I believe that if you are reading a mermaid melody manga and you DONT have to re-translate any of the dialogue in your head- you are NOT reading a mermaid melody manga
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