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#[ not me digging back his last v-day app to see what she said back then
lunaetis · 4 months
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your  name: "Red"
your age: 2,000
your perfect date: The implication being that every date we go on isn't perfect?
make out in private or in public?: Wherever you want, Orchid~
do you like to cuddle?: >:/ Yes. 
tell me something about you: What don't you already know?
why do you want to be my valentine?: M a r r i e d.
VALENTINE'S APPLICATION. || no longer accepting
─「夜兰」─  the application passed to her actually brought back memories. it was nostalgic to read through his HANDWRITING and could hear exactly what tone of voice he would have answering each of them. the liyuan spy crossed her arms, leaned her supple frame back and aquatic hues landed upon that knowing smug grin he had plastered upon his lips. oh, he knew what game he was playing, wasn't he ? look how PROUD he was. she couldn't help a soft giggle from her end. can't fault the man for being confident.
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                " i vaguely remember receiving something like this a year ago. do you ? " feigned innocence was betrayed by a KNOWING LOOK she was giving him. other than the fact that yelan's memory was impeccable, him being the only man who managed to break his way through her facade made it easy to conclude he was the only valentine she would ever need. had it already been A YEAR ? time sure flies.
                funny thing is, she also recalled telling him to put a ring on it when he claimed they were MARRIED. and now — well, perhaps that was the reason of his smug smile. the band with crimson gem sat right upon the center wrapping around her fourth finger. who would've thought he had heeded her advice. look at them now, a year later. it didn't really matter how long it had been, their FEELINGS for each other had never changed, only growing stronger. walking towards him, slender digits reached out to cup his cheek, tracing under his RUBY ORBS she had fallen for time and time again.
                " accepted. do you think you still have it in you to surprise me with a date, my doctor ? "
▸▸ [ @unboundtravels ]
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blu-joons · 3 years
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When Another Member Accidentally Reveals Your Relationship ~ Astro Reaction
JinJin:
His fist hit hard against Myungjun’s door, desperate to enter, holding his phone tightly in his hand. “What’s wrong?” Myungjun asked as he opened up the door, instantly noticing how angry Jinwoo’s eyes were.
“You’re so wreckless,” he sighed, holding his phone out to him.
“Why?” Myungjun asked, but his question was soon answered when he looked at what Jinwoo showed on his phone, the two of you caught in a vlog.
Myungjun quickly handed the phone back to Jinwoo shamefully. “I asked you guys to always check content to make sure that I could keep Y/N safe.”
His head nodded, kicking himself for not going over the video. “It was an honest mistake, I’ll take the video down if you want me to, I’ll do anything.”
“It’s too late,” Jinwoo sighed, taking a seat, “your lucky Y/N has already rung and told me she’s alright, otherwise I’d be fuming right now.”
“Well, you do still seem pretty angry,” Myungjun chuckled, falling silent as soon as Jinwoo looked back to him. “I’ll still take it down, for you both.”
Jinwoo’s head shook, “that’ll make things look more suspicious, the fans already know. Just leave it, you’ve saved us a job of having to tell the fans anyway.”
“I’m still so sorry, to you both, I’ve been a complete idiot.
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MJ:
Myungjun’s hand waved in the figure who knocked on the door to his room, smiling across when he saw Minhyuk leaning against the doorframe. “I don’t suppose you know where Y/N’s glasses got put, do you?”
“Oh, not in here,” Myungjun quickly mumbled back to him.
“You didn’t even look, she is your girlfriend, are you sure they aren’t in here?” Minhyuk continued to query, unaware of the broadcast that was live.
Myungjun continued to shake his head, keeping his voice as quiet as possible. “I’ll help you look when I’ve finished on my life Minhyuk,” he whispered.
Minhyuk’s eyes went wide as he finally looked to the screen to see the V app was streaming. “Oh, I’m sorry. It was Dongmin’s glasses that I wanted.”
“You’re only digging a bigger hole for yourself,” Myungjun scolded, turning back to the screen to see the comments flying through.
Minhyuk walked over too, keeping himself just out of shot. “Surely they wouldn’t have heard, my voice wasn’t even that loud.”
“Take a look,” Myungjun requested, noticing how quickly Minhyuk’s face dropped when he saw how the fans had spotted exactly what he said.
“Blame me for this, not him, leave them alone, please.”
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Cha Eunwoo:
The moment Dongmin heard Moonbin mention his name on his live, he instantly sat up, paying close attention. “Let me show you a photo from his premiere last week,” Moonbin told the fans, grabbing his phone.
“Did he take any phtoos?” Dongmin asked you, as you shrugged back.
“Look at this,” he smiled, showing the fans a photo of him and Jinwoo that was taken. Dongmin instantly took a closer look, spotting two figures behind them.
He pulled you over, inviting you to take a look too. “Is that us?” You questioned, spotting a couple in an embrace just a few feet behind the duo.
Dongmin nodded, throwing his head back in despair. “This is going to blow up in seconds, the fans are smart, they’ll be able to tell that’s me straight away.”
“Just stay calm,” you instructed, running your hands gently through his hair, “it’s hardly as if Moonbin meant to let slip to the fans.”
“How could he have been so careless?” He sighed, relieved when Moonbin removed his phone from the screen, “do you know how bad this could be for us?”
Your head nodded back at him, “the fans were going to find out one day, it just so happens that they’ve found out not on our terms, but Moonbin’s.”
“I hope he realises what he’s done, this is going to be trouble.”
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Moonbin:
As soon as Sanha saw who was ringing him, he picked up, hearing the loud yells of Moonbin’s voice. “How could you have been as stupid as to talk about Y/N and I on your live, have you completely lost your mind?”
“What are you talking about?” Sanha innocently replied.
“You said that you had to end the live because you were meeting us for dinner,” Moonbin informed him, the frustration clear in his voice.
The silence from Sanha was all Moonbin needed to know he’d finally realised his mistake. “I’ll fix this for you both, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realise.”
A heavy sigh came from Moonbin on the other end of the line, “before we do anything, we need to cancel dinner, it’s too dangerous to go anywhere now.”
“It just felt natural to include Y/N in our plans, I forgot that the fans were watching,” Sanha admitted, desperate to rectify the situation.
“They were going to find out someday,” Moonbin assured him, slowly calming himself down, “I just need to tell Y/N what’s gone on.”
“Should I be there?” Sanha asked, “I can at least try and explain what’s happened and make sure she knows just how sorry I am about this.”
“I’ll handle it, don’t worry, accidents like this happen.”
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Rocky:
Management quickly passed the phone to Jinwoo as the boys filed off stage, switching on the live as one by one the members joined him. “Did anyone see Y/N singing in the wings?” Dongmin called out, unaware of what was going on.
“Nope,” Minhyuk replied almost straight away.
“We just saw all of aroha dancing in the arena,” Myungjun responded, catching Dongmin’s attention from his incredibly cliché response to the question.
“Why are you…oh,” he stuttered, finally looking up to see Jinwoo holding onto the live camera. “When did you switch that on?”
Minhyuk’s eyes glared across at him, “it was switched on before you asked the question, if that helps, the fans heard every single way.”
Dongmin quickly grabbed onto Minhyuk, taking a moment to catch his breath. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, making sure that the fans couldn’t hear.
As angry as he was, Minhyuk simply nodded back at him. “I was hoping to go to sleep at the hotel, but it looks like I might have some explaining to do.”
“Y/N’s going to kill me,” he muttered under his breath, struggling to keep himself together with the guilt that soon hit him hard.
“She’ll understand, don’t panic. It’ll be fine for everyone.”
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Sanha:
The question of dating came as no surprise to any of the members as they sat in the middle of their American interview. “If any of you have some gossip for your foreign fans, I’m sure they’d love to know your news?”
“Sanha has a-“ Jinwoo began, before quickly stopping himself.
“What does Sanha have?” The interviewer probed, far too alert to skip over what Jinwoo had to say, “do you want to finish that statement?”
Jinwoo’s head instantly shook, “it was just a slip of the tongue, Sanha has nothing. Sorry, ignore me, shall we move onto the next question?”
Sanha’s eyes rolled behind his leader, knowing he was well and truly stuck in the mud. “You don’t need to try and correct your mistake, it’s fine JinJin.”
He turned back to look at the youngster, the remorse clear in his eyes. “Don’t talk about anything you don’t want, don’t feel pressured to do this.”
“I don’t feel pressured to do anything, it’s about time the fans knew that I’m in a relationship with someone very special,” he spoke, looking directly at the camera.
“Is there anything else you’d like to add to that?” The interviewer pushed, but Sanha calmly shook his head in response to her.
“That’s enough, I want to be respectful to her, thank you.”
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Masterlist
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akookminsupporter · 3 years
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Hello, First off, I'm not an army, but I have a question. Please read ahead and don't judge me for being a hater.
Uhm Idk if I'm at the right place or not, I (18/M) have a younger sister (11), she's into BTS like a LOT. By now she's a diehard fan of the boys which I find really cute because she keeps talking about them and telling me about each member. She's also been learning a lot of stuff and even taken up to ship some of the members, like I know as for her, she ships Jin and RM, then V and Jungkook and Jimin, but what makes me a bit uncomfortable is her discussing and debating about them having a 'threesome'. With Jin and RM she's not like that, but with the younger three Idk what's wrong, she keeps digging on YT for 'evidences' and 'proofs' for their three-thingy being real. That's weird to me, not because all of them are boys, but because she shouldn't be making false assumptions about them. What puts me off even more is that there's YT channels and Idk places taht circulate unhealthy information like that. Trust me, last thing a brother would want for his 11 yo sister is to be having a full fledged heated debate about who is the dom and the sub in the 'relationship' of three male bandmates. I'm not lying, she came up to me a few days back and asked what Daddy meant, I was like Dad is Daddy, Papa is daddy, why would you asked that. And she goes, "that is weird, why would Jungkook call V Daddy? He's not his dad is he?"
I haven't said anything about it since then... What am I supposed to tell her, can you please help me a bit? Should I just say that V adopted Jungkook? 😂
Honestly I love her a lot, she's my only sister and I don't want her have weird misconceptions. I hope you understand.
She says to always put a purple heart whenever smth's related to bts, so here it goes. 💜
I received this ask a few hours ago and since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I didn't know exactly how to answer it and I still don't think I do. I just want to ask anyone who wishes to send their opinion on this ask after publication to do so in a respectful manner.
Hi anon. The only thing I can tell you is that you, as her older sibling, should let your parents or your legal guardians, especially your sister's, know what is going on. Not to scold her, but for them to monitor much more closely the content she is viewing on social media.
Anon, your sister shouldn't be talking about that sort of thing, period. She doesn't need to know what a threesome is and she definitely doesn't need to be looking for proof on YouTube! Definitely not YouTube!
While I think it's important to talk to kids about sexual issues, that's not your sister's way of learning. The "ship community" can be very toxic and extremely inappropriate, there are adults who are horrified by the things that many shippers say, imagine what an 11 year old girl might think.
Your sister is too little to talk about those things, she's too little to ask those questions. Your sister is simply too young.
I don't know if you are willing to tell your parents or the people in charge of you and your sister, but please monitor more closely what your sister consumes on social media. Prohibit her from using certain apps unsupervised if necessary. But not just to monitor what she's seeing on social media but to have an age-appropriate conversation about those things.
That's the only advice I can give you.
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veracity - v. dunn
As promised, here’s one of our many resident himbos, Vince Dunn, in “I didn’t realize wer were dating.” As I’m sure a lot of other writers have experienced lately, reblogs have definitely been down, so I would love it if you’d give a reblog if you like it. I also read the tags! Alternately, feel free to keysmash in my inbox or let me know what your favorite parts were. 
word count: 4.9k+
warnings: light sexual content (brief)
Aly Kalinski had never bothered leaving her home town. Why would she? She loved St. Louis. She was born there, went to public schools in the city, and barely moved ten miles away from home for her art degree at SLU. For all its faults, she loved her city. Aly met Vince her sophomore year of college, an accidental run-in at her favorite sandwich shop that had turned into a friendship that had turned into a relationship. So it was a no-brainer decision for Aly to stay once she graduated, getting a position teaching middle and high school art at a school in the suburbs and a loft in downtown. She didn’t want to leave her parents, or her city. Or Vince. 
They had just gotten together, and it really hadn’t come as a surprise to anyone but them. Her older sister rolled her eyes when Aly told her, saying that “it was only a matter of time. You two practically act like an old married couple already.” Her parents were shocked even less. Vince’s teammates had actually been some of the biggest perpetrators in the first place, not-so-subtly leaving them in rooms together at parties and encouraging Aly to admit the feelings she wasn’t even sure she had until a few months ago. But it had happened organically, so naturally that Aly really couldn’t even put a pin on the point where their friendship had turned into romance. All she knew was that she was falling hard for Vince Dunn, and for once in her life, she wasn’t trying to stop herself. 
September
Clashing teeth and her hands running through his hair and his fingernails digging into the backs of her thighs was all Aly felt as Vince held her up against the door. “Vin, bedroom,” Aly gasped, pulling away for air. 
“Mhm,” he said absentmindedly, his lips trailing kisses down the column of her neck as her legs wrapped around his waist. He walked backwards into his room, dropping her down on the bed. She fumbled with the buttons on her shirt as he frantically pulled his belt off. God, it had been too long since they had touched each other. Vince had only recently returned to St. Louis for training camp and the start of pre-season, but he had been so exhausted from drills and scrimmages that all he could manage on nights they got together was curl into Aly’s side with some take out and turn on reruns of Kitchen Nightmares. She had visited him in Toronto for two weeks in July and August — it didn’t always work out so perfectly, but she was thankful that teaching meant most of her summers were free — and they had obviously had sex while they were there, but she had been missing it more than she wanted to admit. Missing him. 
So when they went out to a downtown bar with the rest of the team to celebrate the end of training camp, and Aly didn’t have work the next day, they were both more than happy to indulge in a little liquid courage. Which meant a couple of  drinks and a few more flirty touches later and the pair made their excuses to the rest of the group, Vince pulling up his Uber app before they were even out the door. And they weren’t exactly subtle about it  — Sammy had definitely shouted “USE PROTECTION” while Vince threw him a middle finger  — but they they needed each other too much to really give a fuck. 
Vince trailed his fingers up her now-bare sides, the clasp of her bra falling open with a well-practiced flick. Aly palmed him over his jeans, trying half-heartedly to reverse their positions. Vince groaned. “Not tonight, baby. I need you.” Well, it’s not like she was going to argue with that. Her leggings came off in record time. His jeans followed. Aly dropped her head into the crook of his neck as he slid into her. God, they could do this a million times and she’d never get used to how good he felt. “You’re fuckin’ incredible, Aly, you know that?” Vince gasped out. 
She pressed a kiss onto his shoulder. “You might've mentioned it once or twice, but feel free to keep going, Dunn,” she said. 
He quickened his pace. “I will.” Ten minutes and two orgasms later, she was wrapped in Vince’s arms, trying to savor every last moment before she had to get up and use the bathroom. “I meant what I said, you know?” Vince said, one hand carding through her hair. “You really are incredible, Aly. And when we’re together…” He paused, searching for the right words. 
“There’s only a few things in my life that have always come easy. Hockey, never being able to say no to ice cream, and you. I never feel like I have to be anyone other than exactly who I am when I’m with you, and I don’t know if you know just how meaningful that is for me. I need it, and I need you.” Aly smiled, turning over and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. This was the closest he’d gotten so saying he loved her, and she’d take it. 
January
Aly sipped her champagne, her eyes surveying the downtown St. Louis ballroom where she found herself on a Saturday evening. Her free hand fingered with the sequin-adorned cloth of her dress, brushing up against the thigh-high slit. It wasn’t something she would have ever bought for herself, but she loved it. It caught the light like nothing she’d ever seen and Vince’s jaw had nearly fallen off the second he saw her when he picked her up for the gala. He had bought it for her, too, insisting that if he had invited her the least he could do was spare her the expense of going out and buying one on her own.
Her job paid well for a teacher, especially one in their first few years, but she wasn’t about to complain when Vince gave her his card and sent her into the shopping district to find a dress for the night. He had told her to get something stunning, and she had delivered in spectacular fashion. It was the Blues’ big fundraising gala for the year, an annual charity event to benefit the children’s hospital. Essentially, the night was an opportunity to party on the team’s dime while wining and dining Midwestern elite in a bid to get them to open up their checkbooks. It was something that Alexandra Kalinski was proving surprisingly adept at; even though she didn’t have nearly the rapport with some of the businessmen and philanthropists as most of the players and their partners did, she was able to turn on the same “teacher” charm she used on back-to-school nights, lay the accent on a little thicker than she usually would, and tug at the heartstrings of multi-millionaires with a story of a seventh grader in one of her intro painting classes who had been treated for leukemia in the hospital’s oncology ward. They couldn’t write the checks fast enough. 
But Aly found herself at the bar a few hours in, next to Sammy as Vince smooth-talked someone she vaguely recognized as an exec for the Cardinals. Transitioning from friendship to being a couple, at least in regards to their social lives, had been much easier than she had thought. It had all just been so natural that people probably wouldn’t have even noticed if it hadn’t been for the looks she gave him, or her now-permanent spot on the “good chair” in the family box — that everyone else claimed was too lumpy but Aly swore up and down was the most comfortable place in the whole room  — or the time Colton had walked in on them hooking up in a supply closet at the Enterprise Center during a wine tasting with season ticketholders. But she had loved everything in their relationship so far, loved how welcoming all of the other WAGs were and how happy everyone had been for them when they finally got together. “God, it was about time,” Sammy had said. 
She could see that the person Vince was talking to had started making his way over to the reception table, where all the donations were being collected, and caught his eye just as he was being swept into yet another conversation. Vince liked people, there was no doubt about it, and he loved being able to help out a cause as incredible as the children’s hospital, but after almost four hours of schmoozing and small talk it was beginning to take a toll on even him. Aly gave him a tiny nod, a signal that anyone else probably would have missed, but one that Vince understood instantly. She was coming to get him. Alexandra was by his side in thirty seconds flat, her hand resting between his shoulder blades while she smiled apologetically to the man across from them. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I’ve got a headache and have had a bit too much to be driving myself home. Would you mind taking me?” 
Vince nodded, trying to keep his enthusiasm dampened. “Of course, babe. No problem.” He gave the businessman his best PR smile. “Sorry to have to leave so abruptly, but duty calls. Thank you so much for coming out tonight and supporting such a great cause, it really means a lot to me and the whole team.” With a perfunctory handshake, they began heading towards the exit, his hand gripping hers as they wove through the crowd. “Thanks for that, Aly,” he said as he opened up the passenger door for her. “I really was running on empty there.”
She smiled softly back at him. “Always.”
May 
Vince’s arm was draped casually over the back of Aly’s chair, his fingertips dancing over her shoulder. She was beaming up at the couple under the flower-covered wedding chuppah at the end of the aisle, leaning into Vince’s side. Her cousin Olivia was getting married, her and her soon-to-be wife Yara had been together for years and had finally decided to take the next step. When she got the invitation four months earlier, she hadn’t hesitated to invite Vince as her plus one. They had been dating for a little under a year by that point, but seeing as how most of her family was local — some of her mom’s family was in Wisconsin, but nobody really aside from that — he had already met everyone important. 
The ceremony went by in the blink of an eye, Yara and Olivia broke the glasses, and everyone began milling over towards the barn for the reception. Olivia and Yara had already met Vince some six months before, and had immediately taken to each other. The brides came over to their table after thanking everyone for coming, and dinner was served. She had never seen anyone eat as many dinner rolls in one sitting as Vince did.
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“Alexandra!” Aly heard an excited voice from the other corner of the room over the cacophony of the music, and barely turned her head quickly enough to see who had called her name before she was pulled into a warm hug. 
Aly laughed when she saw who it was. “Nice to see you, Aunt Ruth. Aunt Ruth, this is Vince. Vince, this is my Aunt Ruth,” Aly said, gesturing to the woman across from them. 
Vince held out his hand, but Ruth waved it off. “We’re huggers here, Vince. She brought you to the wedding. You’re practically family.” She raised her eyebrows at the couple. “When’s it going to be your turn, hm?” 
Aly groaned. “Aunt Ruuuth.” 
Ruth shrugged. “I’m just saying. Your bubbe’s not getting any younger, and I’m sure she’d love to see some of her grandchildren with kids of their own.” 
“How about we, uh, get off of that subject,” Aly said, her cheeks burning. “That’s up to this one, after all,” she said, patting Vince on the arm. Vince ducked his head, understanding the grip of Aly’s hand on his arm as I love this woman but I swear to God if you don’t get me out of here I think I might combust.
He smiled apologetically to the older woman, feigning a glance at his watch. “The ceremony was amazing, Ruth, but I think I’ll have to be taking Aly home now. We’ve got early breakfast plans tomorrow and I’m sure you know how this one gets when she doesn’t get a full night of sleep.” Aly squeezed his hand in appreciation. 
“Of course,” Ruth said, smiling at the pair. She winked as they turned towards the door. “But think about it.” 
Aly ran her hand through her hair as soon as they turned the corner into the dirt parking lot. “Thanks for that, Vin. We don’t have breakfast plans, though?” 
Vince shrugged, an impish smile on his face. “Guess we do now.”
October
“I bought that tea you like,” Vince said from his spot on the couch. “I didn’t want you to be over here while you’re looking after Henry and run out.” Henry was Vince’s rottweiler, a rambunctious eleven month old that he had adopted at the middle of last season. 
Aly smiled as she opened the cupboard, seeing her prized brand of Irish Breakfast next to his favorite type of coffee. “Thanks for that, Vin.” 
He shrugged as the corner of his mouth twitched. “Don’t mention it.” 
The Blues were about to leave for their first real road trip of the year, and it was an unspoken agreement by this time in their relationship that Aly would stay over at his apartment while he was away. Early on in the relationship, she’d just stop by a few times a week to water his plants, and then he got a few fish, and then Henry came along. It didn’t take much convincing from Vince for Aly to agree to look after them; Henry loved her almost as much as he did Vince, and getting to see him before and after school helped to curb some of the loneliness she felt in Vince’s absence. 
She turned down the hallway, taking her bag into his bedroom. He had a guest room that would have been just as convenient to stay in, but she had grown used to the feel of his sheets and liked having the ensuite bathroom. Plus, she had already not-so-subtly taken over one of the drawers in his dresser. Her bag had the jeans, button downs, and blouses she’d need for work — her school mostly adhered to a smart casual dress code, plus she was an art teacher — but there were plenty of sleep shirts, underwear, and leggings in the dresser. If push came to shove, she also wasn’t above stealing Vince’s old sweatshirts. He always said she looked better in them anyways. 
Even when Vince was back in town, she slept over enough for it to make sense for her to have a space of her own; it just wasn’t practical for her to have to drive fifteen minutes to her apartment and back again just to grab a shirt if she wanted to spend the night after a movie date ran long. They hadn’t broached the conversation of moving in together yet, though. It was something that had crossed Aly’s mind, and if she knew Vince as well as she thought she did, he had thought about it too. But she wasn’t in a hurry to break her lease and he hadn’t said anything about it, so she had decided to let sleeping dogs lie. 
She tucked her bag into the corner of his closet, padding into the bathroom and closing the door. She cursed herself as she pulled down her shorts, realizing that her period had started and, conveniently, her purse was out in the living room. Biting her lip, Aly decided to rummage around in the vanity, praying to God that she’d left something from the last time. It wasn’t like she thought Vince would be weird about it if she asked him to bring her something from her purse; he never had been before, even when she had bled through a pair of his sweats one night staying over. “Not a big deal,” he had said, shrugging and tossing them in the washing machine. “I needed to do laundry anyway.” But she’d rather not ask if she didn’t have to. She crossed her fingers as she pulled out the last drawer, her head turning to the side in confusion as she saw an unopened box of tampons. Her eyes softened in realization. He had bought them without her ever having to ask. 
January 
It was bye week for the Blues, which meant everyone who hadn’t been picked for the All Star Team suddenly had an extra week in the middle of the season and nothing to do to fill it. Or, rather, had a week in the middle of the season and had to find something to do to fill it. In Vince and Aly’s case, that something turned out to be a trip to the Bahamas with some of his teammates and their wives. It had been a no-brainer for him to invite Aly; everyone else was bringing their partners and Vince knew she had a few vacation days saved up from work. They had been planning it for months, Aly having requested the time off as soon as she was able, and had blissfully traded in the chilly winters of Missouri for a balmy week on the shores of Nassau.
Vince had wanted to go to Iceland originally, half to do with the hiking and half to do with the ponies he saw in a National Geographic article as a kid, but one Google search from Sammy led them to the unfortunate realization that being so far north, there were only about six hours of daylight each day and the temperature topped out in the mid 30s. Vince looked a little deflated when he read the forecast. “Don’t worry,” Aly had said, squeezing his arm in reassurance. “We can go in June, after school lets out and before you head home for the summer. I’ve heard amazing things about their hot springs.” Sammy wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Aly hit his shoulder. 
But the Bahamas were proving to be one of the most beautiful places she had ever been. “Better than home?” he asked as they lay stretched out on the sand while they watched the sun dip below the horizon. 
She scrunched her nose at him. “Unfair comparison. St. Louis is hovering around freezing and perpetually covered in a layer of slush this time of year. And, to be fair, it’s an endearing layer of slush and I love it. But right now I think I’d rather be where it’s 75º and sunny and I can lay outside looking hot as hell in a bikini without worrying about freezing my tits off.” 
Vince choked on his rum punch. “Worried about that, are you?” 
Aly shrugged. “I’d rather deal with a sunburn. Which, speaking of,” she glanced over at Vince, “you’re looking a little red. Don’t worry, though. I’ve got as much aloe vera as I could pack in a single quart bag. Would have tried to sneak in a whole bottle, but didn’t want the feds after me.” 
Vince laughed, a whole body laugh that all but consumed him for a few moments, before pulling Aly in to rest against his chest. “I’m really happy you came, Aly. You know that, right?” 
“Why wouldn’t I? All-expenses paid trip to the Carribean with you and our friends, getting to hang out on the beach all day and drink cocktails without having to worry about driving home after?” 
Vince gasped in mock offense, the hand that wasn’t wrapped around her waist coming to clench at his heart. “You’re killing me here, Aly! You mean to tell me this whole time you’ve only been using me for my money? I expected more from you.” 
“Not just your money, Vin,” she giggled, settling into his touch. “I tried to pay for my share of the expenses, you wouldn’t have it. But seriously, I do really love it here. It’s gorgeous, and so peaceful, and there’s really not anything I think we could do to make it better. I love you, Vince Dunn.” 
“I love you too, Aly Kalinski.” 
April 
“One sec, I’ve got to go grab something,” Vince said, smiling at Aly as he pushed his chair back from the table. It was the day after he had come home from a two week road trip, and he had invited her over for dinner, told her to dress nice, and made what actually turned out to be a very respectable dinner of ravioli and roasted vegetables. 
She nodded as her heart started to pound faster and faster, coming to a peak when she thought her chest was going to burst as Vince returned from the bedroom, turning a blue velvet box over in his hands. “I know it might seem unexpected, but I saw this the other day while I was downtown with Sammy and I don’t know, just somehow knew you were meant to have it. Knew it was meant to be yours. Something I hope you’ll see as a sign of how much I love and care about you and how even though we might not always physically be together, you’re the person I trust most in this life.” 
He slid the box across the table to Aly, who opened it with shaking hands. Inside was a silver necklace with a pendant of an olive tree on it. It was absolutely gorgeous — and Vince was right, very her — but it was not what she had been expecting.
Aly snorted, burying her face into her hands. “Oh my God, I’m going to have to call my mom.” 
Vince was confused. “Why?” 
Aly rolled her eyes. “I told her I was coming over here for dinner and you told me to dress nice. She thought you were going to propose.” 
“Propose?” Vince asked, dumbfounded. “Why would I propose?” 
She tried to wave him off, but Vince could see the shimmer of hurt behind her eyes. “I mean, we’ve been together for almost two years. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility.”
“Together?” He looked over at her. “For two years?” 
“Yeah?” she said slowly, thinking he had forgotten their anniversary. “Come June, two years.” 
Vince swallowed hard as it began to dawn on him, looking down at his hands. “Together...She thinks we’ve been together for,” he looked up at the ceiling, “twenty-one months.” 
“You keep repeating that word, babe. Together. What’s confusing about it?” Aly said, giving him a weird look.  
God, how was he supposed to tell her? “I didn’t know we were together. Are together? Let alone that your mom was expecting a proposal.” 
Aly’s blood ran cold. “Let me get this straight,” she said, pausing. “You didn’t know we’re together? What did you think we’ve been doing for almost two years?” 
“Being really good friends?” 
She shook her head. “Why did you tell me to dress up when I came over, then? Why did you make dinner?”
He fixed his eyes on a chip in the coffee table. “I knew you’d been having a rough week and I wanted to do something nice for you.”
“What about the vacation?” She questioned.
He shrugged helplessly. “Everyone else was going in couples, and you’re my best friend down here regardless.” 
“Me coming to all the games? Sitting up in the box?” 
“You’ve become friends with all the WAGs, and I love having you there to support me,” he tried. 
“The sex?” Aly asked incredulously. 
Vince winced. Okay, that  one was a little harder to explain away. “I just always thought that we were both single, both hot, both too busy to get into relationships. Each other’s best options.” 
God, Aly felt like a fucking fool. She felt like she’d been played, because in a weird, sort of twisted way, she had. “You said you thought it was because we’re both too busy to be in relationships now. But Vince, I know you have no think energy out your ears, but I need you to concentrate for a minute. Think about most couples you know. They get together a few times a week if they don’t live together. We do that.” He nodded. 
“They have a drawer or a part of a closet at each other’s places, they look after each other’s plants and dogs when they’re out of town. We do that. They become friends with each other’s friends, they visit each other’s families, they take weekend trips together and fly to the Bahamas with friends when they have a week off. We did that.” She looked up at him, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “They dance around in the kitchen together and make love and go to the zoo at least once a month because I love seeing the otters. They comfort each other when they’re at their worst, encourage each other at their best. You said you didn’t have time for a relationship, but you didn’t realize that that’s what we’ve been doing, Vince.” 
Now it was Vince’s turn to be struck speechless. Aly wasn’t meeting his eyes. And honestly, he couldn’t blame her. He turned to look at her, but she had stood up abruptly from the couch, pacing nervously as she slowly made her way to the door. “I, uh, I think I should go,” she said, looking down at her hands. 
Vince stood up, taking a half step towards her before deciding that it was best to give her space. “No, Aly, you don’t have to go. We can talk. I think —”
“No, I think. I think you don’t feel the same way, and I’ve been misreading things for two years. And that’s fine, I can’t force you to fabricate feelings that aren’t there, so um. I’ll go,” Aly said, shaking her head stiffly. She opened the door and shut it, and Vince was suddenly stuck in the loudest silence he’d ever heard. It was like he couldn’t move for a minute, as if all of his muscles were paralyzed, and then he came back to reality. Aly had only been gone for maybe a minute at most, but it felt like an hour. 
Vince bolted out of the door, not even bothering to lock it, running straight past the elevator. Stairs would be quicker. He caught her just as she was exiting the front door, one of her hands coming up to wipe a stray tear off her cheek. “Aly!” Vince called. She hesitated for a moment but kept walking. Vince ran across the lobby, not even caring about his complete lack of shoes. “Aly! Wait up, please.” 
She turned around, eyes watering, and sighed, walking over towards one of the chairs with a defeated look on her face. She didn’t even sit down, just perched on the arm like she wasn’t quite comfortable with actually settling in, like she needed to be able to up and leave at any given moment. “Please, Vince. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be. I’m not mad at you for not feeling the same way, it wouldn’t be fair of me and people can’t control their feelings, but I feel like a fucking idiot right now. Like I spent so long misreading all sorts of signs and signals and words —”
“What if you didn’t?” Vince asked breathlessly. 
Aly looked startled. “What do you mean?”
“What if you didn’t misread anything, Aly? What if you didn’t have to be mad at me for not feeling the same way, because I do?”
Aly sunk into the chair, her eyes meeting his for the first time since she had left his apartment. “Then why...Why did you not say anything? How did you not know we were in a relationship?”
Vince ran a hand through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. “Because I thought that’s all you were going to give me. And if that was it, that was enough for me,” he smiled sadly. “I thought everything, the sex and the wedding and the Bahamas, was just me being a good friend and you needing a stress relief and someone who’d always be in your corner. I never knew this was supposed to be a relationship. I didn’t think you wanted anything serious. And I had resigned myself to that, come to terms with only getting stolen kisses on late nights and early-morning coffee runs before you had to head to school. If I only got you halfway, I was okay with it, because I love you and that was better than nothing.” 
“You what?” Aly’s breath caught in her throat. 
“I love you,” Vince said. It was the easiest thing he had ever admitted. Because it was true. 
He had told her he loved her before, but as Aly searched his face, she could tell that he meant it in a different way. In the way she always wanted him to. “You love me?” she asked, voice cracking. 
Vince nodded. “I do. I’m in love with you. And you don’t know how good that feels to admit.”
Aly gave an airy laugh, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear before Vince had a chance to get it for her. “I think I might.”
“I’ve just got one question, though,” Vince asked. 
“Which is?” 
He cracked a smile. “You’re not going to make us change our anniversary date, are you? It would be pretty weird to explain to everyone and I really don’t want Aunt Ruth to find out and show up at my door to chase me around with a chainsaw.”
Aly giggled, leaning over and placing an exhilarated kiss against his lips. “No.”
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bittysvalentines · 4 years
Text
Teenage Dream
From: @jeanjacketbittle
To: @redneterp
Rating: T
Tags: fake dating (sort of?),  friends to lovers, valentine’s day
Summary: Ransom swoops in and saves Holster by telling someone that he is Holster’s Valentine’s Day date. Holster repays his bro for the save by actually taking him out on a Valentine’s Day date. It’s not a real date, though. It’s just a bro-date. Right?
A note to my valentine:
I’ve wanted to write Holsom forever because I love them so much, but I never found the right muse for it. Writing this fic for you pushed me to do it, and I am so glad!! I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!
“Adam?”
Holster’s head whipped to find Esther Shapiro, hand on her hips at the end of their booth at Annie’s.
“Esther, hey! Uh, what’s-”
“I thought you said you had plans?”
Holster gestured vaguely to Ransom and the coffees and pastries on the table between them.  
“Plans that you couldn’t change to go on a Valentine’s date with me.”
“Oh. Well, uh...”
Ransom didn’t know what possessed him to say it, the thought hadn’t even stopped in his brain to check with him, just flew right out of his mouth. “Not that it’s your business, but this is a Valentine’s date.”
Ester rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. Adam, if you hadn’t wanted to go out you should’ve just told me flat out instead of-”
“Plans on Valentine’s Day isn’t flat out enough?”
Esther blinked between them. Then, shockingly, she smiled. “Well, of all the people to blow me off for, I guess I’m glad it’s him.”
And then she left.
Holster looked at him, seemingly trying to blink the shock out of his eyes. “Bro, nice save. Thanks.”
Ransom chuckled. “C’yeah, well, you were floundering, and I didn’t want you to get dragged on a last-minute V-Date by Esther Shapiro.”
“You were right, I’d prefer a V-Date with you anyway.” Holster winked.
Ransom choked a little on his coffee. “Holtzy, I didn’t mean-”
Holster cut him off despite his mouth full of lemon cake. “Dude, are you about to no-homo me? We’re better than that.”
Ransom snorted. He was right, of course. They were way past no-homo both in their lives and in their friendship.
“So, what are we doing for phase 2 of our V-Date?”
“Holtz, we don’t have to.” His heart was beating a little faster in his chest.
“We were hanging out anyways, right?” Holster asked.
Ransom nodded.
“We can just tweak our plans a little, then. Oh!” Holster’s face lit up, and Ransom’s heart skipped a beat. "We could go to that new karaoke bar we’ve been wanting to go to. And then I’ll walk you home at the end of the night. Bam! Rans and Holster V-Date.” Holster explained.
It wasn’t like Ransom was surprised that Holster was so comfortable with this. They’d been best friends for three years. They did everything together and knew everything about each other. Including Holster’s new-found pansexuality.
It was stupid that it changed things. It shouldn’t, Ransom knew that. But it did. Because he was bi, and somehow he’d never even considered Holster in a more-than-bros way until Holster had come out to him and now it was all he could think about. It made things like a spur of the moment Valentine’s Day date fill his stomach with butterflies.
“Only if you want to, man. If you’d rather us have chips and Mario Kart like we planned that’s cool, too.” Holster assured him. He knew this was an out, and that he should take it. Holster really wouldn’t care either way, he knew that, but the look on his face when he’d thought of the karaoke bar…
“No, it sounds great. We should do it.” Ransom smiled, and Holster did an excited fist pump. “We do have to go back to the Haus and change, though. We are not dressed for karaoke.”
Holster let out a laugh. “Good call. I’ll get us some to-go cups.”
Ransom took a breath to get himself together once Holster was gone. He could do this. It wouldn’t be weird; it was just like any other night they spent together. It wasn’t a real date, after all. It was a friend date. A bro date. They’d literally been on bro-dates before. This was no different.
He stood up and cleared their table while Holster waited for their drinks. Ransom had a hold on himself again just in time for Holster to come back and hand him his tea. “Thanks,” Ransom said.
Holster smiled and they were on their way.
It was normal until Holster took Ransom’s free hand in his when they got outside Annie’s.
Ransom blinked at him, and Holster shrugged. “I always think February is going to be warmer than it is.” He explained, looking down at Ransom’s gloved hand in his.
“Gotta start using that weather app of yours, bro.” Ransom laughed.
Holster made an indignant sound. “When it’s been 15 degrees for a month and a half, 30 sounds like summer!”
Holster’s hand remained in his for the rest of the walk back, but it was easier after that. Holster had always been his tension diffuser, Ransom just hadn’t thought it would apply to situations where the tension was caused by Holster, too. It was a relief to find out he was wrong. Maybe he could do this after all.
Ransom had gotten ready for quite a few dates in his life, but he’d yet to get ready for one with the person he was going on the date with. He decided he liked it better, though, when Holster turned to him holding up two different shirts. Ransom couldn’t help but grin. “Dressing to impress, Holtzy?” he teased, pointing to one of the shirts.
“Don’t know why, you’re already coming home with me.” Holster smirked.
Ransom chuckled, turning back to his dresser to dig around for his own shirt so Holster wouldn’t see the flustered look on his face.
They split fare for the uber to the bar, and Holster talked Ransom into signing up for an act before eating anything.
They had a few drinks and watched the other acts while waiting for their turn, and Holster refused to tell him what song he’d signed them up for.
“Come on, Holtz, I need to prepare!” he protested.
Holster chuckled into his drink. “Trust me, you know the words. Besides, there’s no studying in karaoke. That’s the point, it’s just fun.”
Ransom sighed. “Okay, you’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just…” Just what? He didn’t even know.
“It’s okay, Ransy-poo, dates make everyone nervous.” He said it so casually that Ransom just nodded, not fully absorbing. By the time it processed, Holster was smiling at him and taking his hand, and he knew he couldn’t say anything about it, not when Holster was pulling him up to the stage and someone was handing him a microphone.
Ransom took the stage next to Holster, who was grinning at him as if there wasn’t a bar full of people watching them.
He heard the familiar guitar start to play and Ransom couldn’t help laughing as there were a few cheers at the song choice from the crowd.
Holster began to sing Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream to him, and somehow despite his anxiety and nerves about the date, everything faded and there was only them, Ransom and Holster. It was his favorite way to be.
“Now every February, you’ll be my Valentine. Valentine,” Holster sang, and it was right to him, like a question, a confirmation, and Ransom grinned.
Holster took to the next lyrics more like he usually did- an absolute karaoke ham, performing now more than he had been before. And Ransom fed off of his energy, joining him enthusiastically for the chorus. They danced around each other and Ransom practically forgot they were on a stage until people cheered after they belted out the last notes.
They definitely weren’t the best that night, considering Holster was practically tone-deaf, but the bar-goers were loving them anyway and they were having a goddamn blast. It was like when they sang at Kegsters- off-key and energetic and giving a Ransom a feeling that he couldn’t describe even if you paid him, but he swears he could live off of it.
Holster hugged him once they got off the stage, and Ransom couldn’t wipe the grin off his face even if he wanted to.
They ordered dinner, finally, and enjoyed the other acts as they picked off of each other’s plates. It didn’t feel like any date Ransom had ever been on, but… that wasn’t a bad thing.
It definitely felt more date-like, though, when Holster reached across the table and took one of Ransom’s hands in his. He just played with it idly as he ate his food, rubbing his hand with his thumb, toying with his fingers. If Ransom couldn’t literally feel him doing it, he wouldn’t even have noticed. But he had, and his heart was fucking racing again, and he knew he should be trying to listen because Holster was mid-story about something that had happened in one of his classes but Ransom just couldn’t think about anything besides the thoughts using his brain as a fucking NASCAR track.
“Why did you tell Esther you had plans?” He interrupted.
Holster stopped talking and gave him a look, eyebrows knitted. “Because we had plans, dude. She asked me, like, two days ago.”
“I would’ve understood. You know that.” Ransom insisted.
Holster nodded. “Of course you would have, but I didn’t want to cancel. I wanted to be with you.”
Ransom blinked at him. Holster’s voice was like fucking velvet and he finally let himself think that maybe Holster meant that like he wanted him to. “Holtzy, is this a real date?”
“I’d like for it to be.” Holster grinned at him, and Ransom felt both excitement and relief spread through him.
He let out a sigh. “Me too,” he said, smiling back at Holster. His grip on Ransom’s hand tightened, and they just looked at each other for a few moments. “I really want to kiss you right now, but I hate those stupid separated-by-a-table kisses.” Ransom admitted.
Holster chuckled. “Same. Are you finished?” he asked, gesturing to Ransom’s plate.
Ransom looked down and found the plate empty except for a few fries stolen from Holster’s plate. Holster’s was in a similar state.
“Wanna sing again, or?” Ransom asked.
Holster smirked. “I mean, I always wanna sing, but we can come back another time.
“Agreed.”
They paid at the bar and went outside to wait for their uber. “How about that kiss?” Ransom asked as they waited. “There’s no table in our way now.”
“Not yet.” Holster said, “if I start now, I will not want to stop, and I don’t think our uber driver will appreciate us making out in the back seat.”
Ransom laughed and agreed. It was a relief, to find out that Holster wanted this as much as he did. That he wanted him.
Once they were back at the Haus, though, they practically raced to the attic. They knew they were the first ones home, since all the lights had been off and all their other Hausmates were out with plans of their own.
And it was there, in their shared attic bedroom that they had their first kiss. And second. And third. And Ransom thought maybe they might have every kiss ever here in this room in this moment because he never wanted it to end.
They ended up on the bottom bunk, just kissing and hands roaming over clothed chests and backs, but Ransom felt the need to clarify, for both their sakes. “Despite what we sang about earlier, I don’t think we should go all the way tonight.” Ransom said between kisses.
Holster chuckled and nodded. “Agreed, I don’t want to go too fast and fuck this up.”
Ransom grinned and kissed him. “Glad we’re on the same page.”
He moved his mouth down to Holster’s neck and began kissing there when the blond spoke up again. “Katy was right about one thing, though.”
Ransom looked down at him, eyebrows raised.
“You make me,” he did this strange mix of a whisper and singing, “feel like I’m living a teenage dream,”
They laughed softly into each other’s necks before finding their rhythm again.
The next morning they woke up to the alarm clock, that beeped a few times before turning to the radio.
Holster almost fell out of the bed laughing, and Ransom shot out an arm to catch him.
Teenage Dream was playing on the radio.
-
“So, that’s why Teenage Dream is our song.” Ransom finished.
Their friends were all sprawled around Jack and Bitty’s living room, smiling at him and Holster, their hands clasped together.
“That’s sweet, y’all. But as your wedding planner I just can’t let Teenage Dream be your wedding song.” Bitty protested.
Jack put his hand on Bitty’s, still chuckling. “Come on, Bits. Settle on this one. Aren’t you just happy they aren’t asking to sing it?”
There were groans around the room as Holster whipped his head to Ransom. “Can we?” he asked excitedly.
Ransom could feel the death glare Bitty was giving Jack without even looking their way. But really, he knew that’s what they’d do from the beginning. He knew it would dawn on Holster eventually, and that he’d look at him with that same sunlit smile that he was giving him right now, and that Ransom would do absolutely anything for Holster, especially if it made him smile like that.
“Of course.”
Holster cheered, and their friends laughed and chirped them, and Ransom could barely hear any of it because just like that night all those years ago, it was just him and Holster grinning at each other like idiots, and that was all that mattered.
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fairlyspnfanfic · 5 years
Text
A New Start - Part 3
Tumblr media
Part One   Part Two
@vicmc624​ @waywardprincesa @heyyy-hey-babyyy​ @carissime72​  @deans-baby-momma​  @formulafun​  @woodworthti666​  @yetanotherreader​ @crashlyrose​ @hobby27​  @gabby913​  @jxackles​ @polina-93​ @supernaturaladdictsblog
Forty-eight. In just six months, forty-eight children missing.  And only two had been recovered.  The pit in my stomach grew with each missing person’s poster I viewed.  With each desperate parent’s plea that I read and every news report that came up, each ending the same way.  No leads, and a search party being called to a halt.  
I had been researching for hours, long into the night and well into the morning, and my eyes were beginning to cross in the light emanating from the computer screen.  My knees strained as I stood up, stretching my arms up above my head.  I walked over to the closet next to my bed and pulled out my nicest suit. A high-waisted black pencil skirt accompanied by a stark black blazer over a pressed turquoise V-neck blouse. I threw it on, casually gathering my hair up into a clip, trying my hand at a messy bun.  “Good enough.”  
In my nightstand drawer was a mahogany box with a portrait of an elephant carved into the top of it. I opened it quickly and grabbed the wallet on the top of the stack of wallets. Flipping it open, I confirmed that it was the FBI badge that I had used so often years ago.  It had been lying dormant since then, collecting dust in the box, unused.  I hadn’t even given it another though until the disappearances had become so very prevalent.  Dean had argued with me so forcefully while we took the photo for it.  Not wanting me to have it at all. “You’re not coming, you don’t need it.” I heard his voice saying all over again. “Stay here, where it’s safe.  You’re just gonna get hurt.” I shook my head.  “What do you need that for anyway? Stay here. Keep digging. Let us know what you find. Stick to what you’re good at. Leave the hunting to us. Please, Y/N.” I took a deep breath and walked over to my shoe rack, grabbed my sensible heels and slipped them on.  
It wasn’t long before I was down the stairs and in my car on my way to the police department two towns over, an endless list of questions running through my head. By the time I was opening the door and asking for the lead detective, I was in full FBI Agent mode and ready to go as if no time had passed at all.
“Detective Stehlen?” He nodded. “I’m Agent Stark. It seems you have a bit of a problem here.  Forty-eight missing persons.  All children. Where are you at with the investigation?”  I flashed my badge quickly but made no offer to shake his hand or exchange any pleasantries. His eyes darted around the room, seemingly desperate for a senior officer to bail him out of the predicament he found himself.  
“We…Well we don’t have…See there’s not much to go on here Agent Stark.” The words tumbled from his mouth as he squirmed.  He nervously ran his hands through his spiky brown hair. “There’s no leads, no evidence. They just disappear. No trace.”  
“Uh huh.” I took a step closer to him. “I’m going to need a list of all of the families.  Parents, their contact information, addresses. Everything you’ve got.  The bureau’s taking this over.” At that, the detective seemed to become indignant, his fragile manhood threatened by his job being insulted.
“Hold on, you can’t just swoop in here. This is my case. It’s still an open investigation and I’m leading it. Nobody’s taking-“
“Stehlen, you’ve had six months and all you’ve managed to do is lose more children. You’re lucky you still have your badge.” My voice rose with as much authority as possible. I paused momentarily to let my threat sink in. “The bureau is taking this case over.  I am taking it over.  You’re out. If you interfere or involve yourself in any way, I will make absolutely certain that you never work in law enforcement again in any capacity.  You won’t even be able to serve coffee to beat cops.  Is that understood?”  His eyes were wide, a gazelle trapped in the sights of a lion ready to pounce.
“Of course, Agent Stark. Not a problem. I’ll get you the information and all the files right away.”  
“Thank you Stehlen. Very kind of you.”  My voice softened as I smiled at him.  He scurried back to his desk, collecting manila file after manila file.  It took about half an hour for him to bring all the paperwork to me and get me set up in a private room so that I could peruse it all. There were hours of information in front of me.  Days even. I set to it right away.
All the children ranged from 9 to 17 years old.  They didn’t attend the same school.  They didn’t live in the same neighborhood. Their parents didn’t work in the same offices, and they didn’t seem to have any interactions with each other.  Nothing tied them together.  Nothing that I could see in all the paperwork spilled before me. “Start at the beginning” I could hear Sam telling me as if he were standing right next to me.  I picked up the file for the first child that had gone missing.  A girl. Lorali. Age 12. She had gone to the park down the street from her house and didn’t come back when she had promised to.  Her parents hadn’t heard from her since.
I glanced up at the clock.  It was nine-fifteen in the morning.  More than a decent hour to start contacting people.  
Five hours and more than ten families later, my mind was on hyperdrive.  I’d found it.  The link. I knew what brought them all together. All ten of the families I’d seen, the first ten kids that went missing, had all been active on a new social media site called Tracked.  They posted videos, chatted with each other, exchanged information.  All without their parents consent or knowledge of course. But they all had accounts.  And they’d all been chatting with the same person the day of their disappearance.  Each of them had been setting up meetings with them when they were taken.  One or two, I could’ve chalked up to be a coincidence.  But ten?  I knew I had it.  “I’ve got you now, Serenader64.”
A quick IP trace, a few firewall hacks, a tiny DNS hijack, and I had not only shut down his access without him knowing it, but I had his exact location at every given second. And no matter what sort of monster he was, this would be the last day he drew breath.
I grabbed my blazer off the back of my chair and slipped my arms into the sleeves. “Stehlen!” I yelled. He came flying into the room.  “Yes?” His dejected answer thrilled me.
“I’m running out.  I think I’ve got a good handle on these.  They can be put away now.  I’ve got a hunch.  Going to go investigate it.”
I left the department and headed for my car.  I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and looked at the map; a flashing blue light indicated where the creature was. I pointed my convertible towards it and drove. It was only about twenty miles. So close.  I held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, this monster was keeping the kids alive somewhere.  “I so need this to be a win.”  
“You have reached your destination.” The voice on my phone rang out as I drove passed the driveway of a large but very bright Mediterranean style home.  “This can’t be right,” I said to myself as I put the car in park and turned off the engine.  The walkway to the door was well landscaped and the solar powered lights were off.  I could feel the gun tucked into the back of my waistband and the smaller knife that I had strapped to my hip pressing into my skin, as if trying to warn me. Slowly, I brought my hand up to ring the doorbell.
When the door opened, the man starring back at me looked to be no more than 35.  His hair was brown and cut military style.  Short, and clean around the ears.  No facial hair to speak of and his brown eyes lit up when his kind and welcoming smile presented itself. “Hello there. Can I help you?”
“Good morning, sir.  I’m Agent Stark, with the FBI.” I flashed my badge again.  “I’m investigating a few cases of missing children in town-“
“Horrible thing, missing kids.  Seem to be a lot lately.  Anything I can help with?” His voice was sincere, and his face went from happy and pleasant to intent and focused, as he waved me in the door, and I followed him into the foyer.
“Possibly, sir.  The bureau’s been doing our normal investigating and it seems that some of the missing children had been communicating with someone in your home using an app called Tracked.  Do you know anything about that?”
“Tracked? No, I don’t know about anything like that.” The words came from his mouth, but his eyes seemed stunned.  I watched his pupils seem to dilate, almost as if they were panicked.  “Are you certain you have the correct address?”
“Unfortunately, we’re very certain, Mr.?  I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get your name.”
“Sean.  Sean Smythe.”
“Well, Mr. Smythe, as I said, we’re very certain.  Is there anyone else in the home who may have access to a cell phone or computer? Anyone else who may have been communicating through the app?” I asked, already on guard.  
He shook his head. “No, just me, myself and I here.”
I glanced around the foyer. “Do you mind if I take a look around?  Standard procedure you understand.”
He put his hand up and stepped in front of me. “Actually,” he tensed up. “I’m in the middle of something just now.  It would really be better if you came back later. This evening perhaps?”
I eyed him suspiciously. “I’ll just be a moment.” I pushed through his arm and made my way into the living room.  A standard couch, loveseat and chair setup with a grand piano in the corner.  No TV. Just passed that was the kitchen.  Large and full of dishes, both clean and dirty, with milk jugs and cereal boxes strewn about the counter tops.  There was a door just to the right.  I reached for the knob to open it.
“I’d really rather you didn’t, Agent.” Mr. Smythe’s voice was louder and all pretenses of politeness held within it were now gone.  I grabbed the knob and began to turn.
“Fuck,” his voice screamed. I felt a hard and swift knock to my head and my vision went black.
Part 4
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junghelioseok · 5 years
Text
change. | 05
↳ a kind, handsome stranger makes you question your deteriorating relationship.
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◇ taehyung x reader | jungkook x reader ◇ angst | fluff | smut ◇ 3.1k [5/10]
notes: it’s literally been one year (a little over?) since i posted chapter 1 of this fic and i am so fucking sorry it’s taken this long. but! things are finally happening, y’all. hope you enjoy? maybe?
01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | epilogue ✓
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Nineteen unread messages.
For a long moment, you can only look at your phone in disbelief, as if the words on the screen will disappear if you stare long and hard enough. But when they stubbornly remain, you heave a sigh and click open the notification, already knowing exactly who is responsible for bombarding you with so many texts last night.
[8:24pm] Jin: Fucking finally! It’s about time you left
[8:25pm] Jin: Have fun with Taehyung. But not too much.
[8:29pm] Jin: Are you there yet?
[8:36pm] Jin: Hellooooo, earth to {Name}. Are you dead? Do I have to call the police?
[8:42pm] Jin: There’s no way you’re not at Studio V by now, young lady. Don’t ignore me
[8:42pm] Jin: What’s this Taehyung kid doing to you? Don’t forget that you have a boyfriend
[9:21pm] Jin: Okay, now I’m starting to get a little worried
[9:22pm] Jin: Don’t make me come over there
And so forth. Jin’s last message, sent at precisely eleven o’clock, declares his intent to file a missing person’s report if he hasn’t heard from you in the next twenty-four hours, and you can’t help but laugh as you open up the keyboard and type out a response.
[8:12am] You: Wow Jinnie
Your phone buzzes with an incoming message almost instantaneously.
[8:12am] Jin: SHE LIVES
[8:12am] Jin: Now spill, what the hell happened to you last night?
Rolling your eyes at his insistence, you swipe open his contact tab and tap the phone icon. As the call connects, you meander into the bathroom, grabbing your toothbrush and squeezing some toothpaste onto the bristles. Seokjin picks up two seconds later, squawking incomprehensibly, and as you put him on speaker and plop your phone on the counter, you marvel at how easily you can still hear him over the sound of the faucet.
“Hi Jinnie,” you greet dryly. “Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, yeah, good morning and all that.” Jin’s pleasant tenor filters through the speaker, undeterred. Vaguely, you can make out the sound of sizzling from his end of the line, and deduce that he must be cooking breakfast. “Now spill, damn it! What happened yesterday?”
“I went to an art gallery,“ you reply, giggling when Seokjin lets out a derisive snort. “Because unlike you, I’m a cultured lady.”
“Cultured, my ass,” Jin retorts, and you can practically see him rolling his eyes. “Are you going to tell me about Taehyung or not?”
You laugh, tapping your phone’s screen to life in order to check the time. “I have to be at work in an hour, bud. Why don’t I tell you over dinner tonight?”
He lets out a pleased hum. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll bring the food and you provide the wine?”
“Of course.”
“Good,” Jin says. “Seven okay?”
You nod, despite the fact that he can’t see you. “Seven’s perfect. See you then.”
“Bye, {Name}.”
Smiling, you end the call and finish brushing your teeth, already beginning to plan what you’re going to wear for the day. As you wander into the kitchen and start up the coffeemaker, you unlock your phone again to scroll through the most recent headlines, but a little red message notification catches your eye before you can open up the news app. Curiously, you tap it open, eyes widening when you see who the sender is.
[10:24pm] Taehyung: it was really nice to see you again. sorry we had to cut our conversation short but i hope you got home all right!!
A smile breaks across your face as you read his message. It was sent yesterday, shortly after you left the gallery, and you deduce that it must have quickly been buried beneath Jin’s slew of messages. Pulling a mug out of the cabinet, you spoon in some sugar while formulating a response.
[8:31am] You: It was nice to see you too! I got home just fine, thanks for the cab. I’m getting my own next time though :)
You stare down at the screen for a few more moments after pressing ‘send’, a fond smile lingering on your face. But then the smell of coffee is assailing your nostrils, the last dregs dripping down into the pot, and you tear your gaze away from your phone in order to pour yourself a generous helping.
/// 
Your inbox, when you arrive at work and log into your computer, is nearly bursting with new emails. Immersing yourself into your work, you don’t get another opportunity to check your phone until lunchtime, but as soon as the clock on your monitor reads noon you are leaning back in your chair and stretching your arms overhead with a sigh. Working the kinks out of your neck, you idly tap your phone’s screen to life and are immediately greeted by the sight of two new messages. A smile creases your face as soon as you see the senders’ names, and your smile only grows as you read the first text.
[9:12am] Taehyung: not if i can help it :) and you’re welcome. glad you made it safely
The second text, however, wipes any happiness away and replaces it with concern.
[11:28am] Jungkook: God, I’m having the worst day
Immediately, you type out a response to Jungkook. You’re certain he won’t see it until much later—he’s always been terrible with responding to messages, even when not inundated with work—but the fact that he’d taken the time to text you still warms your heart.
[12:07pm] You: Sorry babe. Don’t forget to take a break and eat lunch, okay?
You remember to send off another quick thanks to Taehyung before replacing your phone in your pocket and pulling out your own lunch. Meandering your way towards the kitchen, you greet a few colleagues before heading inside to plop your food in the microwave. As the timer runs down from one minute, you pull out your phone again and see—much to your shock—a new message waiting there.
[12:14pm] Jungkook: I won’t. Eating now, actually. But my kimchi fried rice isn’t as good as yours
A laugh escapes you as the microwave dings. Opening the door, you pull out your own container of kimchi fried rice, still chuckling at the coincidence.
[12:16pm] You: oh yeah? Guess what I’m eating then
[12:17pm] Jungkook: You’re joking. Kimchi fried rice? Really?
[12:17pm] You: I cannot tell a lie
Taking a seat at one of the several tables scattered around the kitchen, you begin eating leisurely, keeping one eye on the news broadcast playing on the television mounted to the wall. It takes a few minutes for Jungkook to respond this time, and you wonder if work is giving him trouble again.
You’re proven right when his text finally comes, popping up onto your screen with a soft ding.
[12:21pm] Jungkook: Fuck, how are people so incompetent? I have to go, sorry
Biting your lip, you type out a quick goodbye.
[12:21pm] You: Don’t bite too many heads off. Love you.
Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t respond. With a soft sigh, you set your phone back down on the table and fix your attention on the television once more, idly watching the headlines scroll along the bottom of the screen as you finish your lunch.
///
You don’t hear from Jungkook again for the remainder of the workday. The sun is already setting by the time you leave your office building, and with an added stop at the wine store, your commute home takes fifteen minutes longer than usual. You change into sweatpants and an oversized sweater the minute you walk inside, and half an hour after you crack open the first bottle of wine, Jin is knocking at your door with a gaudily decorated white plastic bag in hand. “I see you started drinking without me,” he says dryly as he steps inside, hanging up his jacket and immediately making a beeline for the cabinet where you keep your wineglasses.
“Guess you’d better catch up then,” you reply with a grin, taking the bag from his hand and peering inside curiously. “Chinese?”
He hums. “Of course.”
“Perfect.”
Together, you and Jin make your way into the living room. Your best friend makes himself comfortable on your couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table, and you playfully nudge him off as you try to find a place to put down your food. He shoots you a mock glare and takes an enormous sip of wine, watching as you take a seat beside him and dig into a box of kung pao chicken. “So?”
“So what?” you ask innocently, selecting a piece of pepper and popping it into your mouth.
Jin slaps the armrest in indignation. “What do you mean, so what? Don’t test me, missy!”
You giggle as the tips of his ears begin to flush pink. “Okay, okay,” you relent. “Taehyung. Let’s see. Taehyung was… well, he was just as charming as I remembered. We wound up talking for almost three hours yesterday, so I’m sorry I didn’t text you.”
Jin sniffs, but you can see the smile twitching at the corners of his plush lips. “Whoa, three hours? Damn. You can’t even talk to me for that long.”
“That’s because you’re insufferable,” you retort instantly, drawing a chuckle from you companion.
“Duly noted,” he says. “So, what did you talk about, anyway? Your whole life story?”
“All my deepest, darkest secrets,” you say, trying and failing to maintain a solemn expression. “No, but really, we just talked about the usual. Friends, family, pets. That sort of thing. He’s got a puppy named Yeontan—a Pomeranian. Super cute.”
Jin tilts his head curiously. “A Pomeranian? Those are yappy little dogs, aren’t they?
You shrug. “Taehyung said that Tannie doesn’t really bark all that much, actually.”
“Mm.” Jin lets out a thoughtful hum, tilting his head back and taking a long sip of wine. His gaze slides back over to you after he sets down his glass again, his brown eyes glimmering with mischief as he waggles his brows suggestively. “So, what else happened? Did you get his number like you wanted?”
Wordlessly, you click open your phone and scroll to Taehyung’s contact information, stored safely away under his name. “He gave me his business card too,” you say, showing Jin the screen. “And he called us friends when he introduced me to Yoongi, so that was nice.”
His brows furrow. “Who’s Yoongi?”
“One of his college friends,” you explain. “He was at the gallery opening too.”
“Ah.”
There’s another question on the tip of his tongue—you can see it forming in his eyes as he licks his lips in preparation to voice it, but a knock on your front door interrupts him before he can even open his mouth. Jin jolts at the unexpected noise, his eyes widening in bewilderment, and you offer him an equally confused shrug as you rise to your feet and pad over to answer it.
To your utmost surprise, Jungkook is standing on your welcome mat when you swing the door open, bundled in a dark wool coat and a black scarf. “Hey,” he says, raising his gaze from his phone to give you a wan smile. “Just saw your message. I didn’t bite any heads off, I promise.”
Laughing softly, you step aside to let him in. “That’s good to hear.”
Jungkook echoes your amusement as he crosses the threshold, tucking his phone back into his pocket and beginning to shrug off his coat. As he unwraps his scarf and moves to hang it on one of the hooks near the door, his gaze skitters down to the men’s shoes sitting on the ground beside your own, one dark brow disappearing up behind his neatly-parted hair as he stares at them. “Is Jin here?”
You nod, and Jin must have heard his name because a moment later his head pops around the corner of the entryway. “Hey, Jungkook,” the older man greets, stepping forward and extending a hand. “I thought I heard your voice. Good to see you.”
“You too,” Jungkook replies, gripping the proffered hand and giving it a firm shake. “What are you two up to tonight?”
“Wine and Chinese food,” you say, reaching out to smooth down the rumpled lapel of Jungkook’s charcoal suit jacket. There’s no doubt that he just left the office, and your heart flip-flops in your chest when you notice the exhaustion lining his handsome face. “Do you want some?"
“I’m all right,” Jungkook says, and maybe it’s your imagination but you swear you detect a hint of annoyance in his tone. Shrugging it off, you instead grab his hand to pull him into the living room where the takeout boxes are still scattered across the coffee table, interspersed between two half-full wine glasses. Jungkook takes in the sight slowly, his fingers tightening almost imperceptibly around yours, and when he speaks again you are certain you hadn’t imagined the annoyance in his voice. “Looks like you two were having fun,” Jungkook says slowly, releasing your hand in favor of picking up one of the white containers of food and peering inside. Then he looks toward Jin, who is still hovering near the entryway uncertainly. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your night. Guess I should’ve called beforehand to see if you already had company.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jin reassures, and you wonder if he can sense the sudden tension in the air as clearly as you can. When he begins inching toward the coatrack, you decide that he can. “I should probably get going, anyway.”
Jungkook places the takeout box back on the coffee table. “Have other plans?”
Jin shrugs, and you marvel at his ability to feign ease despite the tense atmosphere. “I’ve got some work to do. Duty calls, you know? Besides, I’m sure you want to spend some quality time with {Name} without me hanging around.”
His laugh sounds entirely too brittle, and when Jungkook glances away, Jin meets your gaze and forcefully mouths text me later.
You nod. Jin hesitates a moment longer, as if unwilling to leave, but another look at Jungkook’s furrowed brow has him grabbing his jacket off the rack and sliding his arms into the sleeves. “Well, I’m off then. Have a good night, guys.”
“You too,” Jungkook intones coolly.
“Bye, Jin,” you call after your best friend’s retreating figure, waving farewell as he disappears around the corner. You listen as his footsteps recede down the corridor, and it’s only once the front door opens and clicks shut again that Jungkook speaks, his voice soft.
“I see you were having a good night without me.”
He’s upset. You can tell from the way his jaw is clenched, his throat bobbing harshly as he resists the urge to raise his voice. You’ve seen him yell before—he gets worked up during conference calls far too often for his own good—but you’ve rarely been on the receiving end of his anger. Something must really be bothering him, and you tentatively reach out and lay a hand on his arm. “Jungkook,” you breathe. “I would’ve invited you over—“
“But you didn’t,” he interrupts bitterly, wrenching away from your touch and leaving your hand to fall aimlessly to your side. “You invited him.”
“I made plans with Jin this morning,” you try to explain. “You’re always welcome to join us, of course, but you seemed busy earlier and I didn’t know when you would be done with work, so it didn’t occur to me to ask.“
Jungkook scowls, his dark brows furrowing even further. “So Seokjin was the first person you talked to today?”
“What?” you ask in disbelief. “I… I mean, I guess so? But that’s not out of the ordinary; he’s my best friend. You know that.”
The words don’t seem to reassure him in the least. Jungkook’s expression remains pinched, and when you look into his eyes you’re alarmed to see the anger simmering there. “How am I supposed to know that for sure?” he snaps.
Your jaw drops. “What?” you ask, utterly dumbfounded by his jealousy. “Are you seriously doubting if we’re just friends?”
He cocks a brow. “Are you? Or is there something you’re not telling me?”
“Jungkook,” you begin, your mind reeling wildly as you try to process what you’re hearing. “What are you even talking about? Of course we’re just friends… he has a boyfriend, for god’s sake—“
The dark-haired man barks out a humorless laugh. “One I’ve never met.”
“Namjoon’s really busy!” you defend. “And it’s not like you have a lot of free time to socialize with my friends either—“
“So this is my fault?” Jungkook interrupts, his other eyebrow rising up to join the first.
You let out an exasperated huff. “That’s not what I said. All I know is that Jin has made an effort to invite us out for happy hour on multiple occasions, and you haven’t been able to make a single one.”
Jungkook snorts. “Like you so kindly pointed out, I’m busy. But you’re more than happy to go skipping off to join them for drinks, huh? You mentioned that they’re both bi once—how am I supposed to know that nothing’s ever happened?”
Your breath hitches in your throat, eyes beginning to prickle at the corners, but you swallow the tears back down and look up your dark-haired boyfriend. “Don’t you trust me?”
His gaze drops to the carpeted floor before rising up to meet yours. “I don’t know anymore,” he says after a few seconds. And then: “But I do know that I need to leave right now.”
“Jungkook…” you begin, voice wavering as you try and fail to find your next words.
He gives you a long, hard look, his expression unreadable. Then he’s turning on his heel, his suit jacket flapping as he strides silently down the hall. You hear the rustle of cloth as he grabs his coat off the hook, and wince when the door slams shut behind him.
A full minute ticks by—each second passing at an agonizingly slow pace as you hope against all hope that Jungkook will come to his senses and return with an apology on his lips. But the night steadily darkens outside, and you remain alone in your living room with cold takeout and unfinished wine. Slowly, you make your way over to the front door and twist the lock shut.
And only then do you allow your pent-up tears to overflow, streaming down your cheeks as you crumple to the ground.
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yoosungs-blush · 6 years
Text
Through Each Other’s Eyes
For @yoosungweek Day 3! I’ve wanted to do a 4th wall thing for a while so I had to dig deep for the feels for this one. Hope you enjoy!
When he blinked suddenly everything changed.
He felt different somehow; something was out of place. It was only when he became aware of the phone he was holding in his hands that that difference stuck out to him. The screen showed someone very familiar, so familiar it could have been a mirror.
Except how could it be? Was it a photo? He looked on the verge of crying, a bittersweet smile on his face with one hand pressed up against the glass as though he were attempting to reach right out of the screen.
This certainly wasn’t real, right? He didn’t remember having such a photo taken. And there was a box outlined in green at the bottom of it, filled with Korean subtitles.
Yoosung? … Look in the mirror.
Prompted by the screen, he took in his surroundings; noting for the first time the bed he was sitting on cross-legged. Everything seemed so… vivid. More colourful. Like a photo filter that made every detail stand out. Even his hands were– Was he wearing nail varnish?
Spying a mirror on the wall across from him he quickly got to his feet, bracing himself for something strange; maybe you had painted his nails as a prank while he was asleep or something? It only added to his disorientation that he couldn’t remember what he had been doing before this and that he didn’t recognise the place he was at all.
His eyes widened when he saw his reflection - they weren’t his eyes. This wasn’t him at all! Different eyes, different hair, and… why did his chest feel so heavy? He poked his chest, confirming his suspicions immediately, a blush creeping onto the face that wasn’t his.
“This has to be a dream right?” He muttered with a voice that didn’t belong to him; words awkward on his tongue, as though he hadn’t spoken in a million years. There was a desk in the room, piled high with textbooks: all in English. If it weren’t for his high school classes, he wouldn’t have been able to understand what he was seeing. There was a purple box balanced on top of everything, adorned with three letters that he did know: RFA.
“R.F.A VIP Pac…kage…?” The English sounds that should have been distorted and nonsensical, were smooth sounding and natural. This person could speak English properly but not Korean? And this package… RFA? As in the RFA? He had to know for sure.
The box only had two things inside - clearly, someone had already gone through and moved around most of the contents. But the bad feeling in his already heavier-than-normal chest was getting worse when he went over what he could see.
His student ID card…
… And an RFA membership card issued to MC.
Before he could completely lose his sanity, the phone in his hand vibrated. The photo of him was still there, but there was a voice coming from the phone - his voice. But he could barely understand the foreign words that were being said; opting to read the Korean subtitles instead.
“Yoosung? Did you look in the mirror?”
A lone option popped onto the screen and he tapped it quizzically.
“I did but… who are you?”
His heart was pounding, his head was light. This strange dream was too much. He wanted to wake up, to be back in the world where he was in his own body in his own world where he had the most wonderful person he had ever met as his wife.
Thinking of you made him nostalgic - it felt like years since he had last seen you; last stroked through your long brown hair; stared into your… What colour were your eyes again? Had it been that long or was it the side effect of being in a dream…? Why couldn’t he remember your eyes?
“You haven’t realised yet…? That I’m… MC?”
“You’re…. what are you saying?! You’re just a picture on a screen, and I’m just having a weird dream as someone I don’t know. That’s the only way to explain all of this RFA stuff in a foreigner’s room.”
“It’s… my room,” the voice said, “I’m sorry if it’s a bit messy. I… wasn’t ever expecting something like this to happen.”
“Like this…? What do you mean?”
“We’ve switched bodies Yoosung - like in the movies. I’m in your body and you’re… in mine.”
The phone began to shake.
“Then… this person in the mirror… is you? But you look so different! You don’t look at all like I remember!”
And then he recalled the last April Fools Day, when he and the others had teased Zen. Everything about the bright, colourful world he was in seemed to make sense.
“Yoosung…?”
His eyes watered. His heart ached. The headache only got worse with this new revelation.
“We’re… in different dimensions aren’t we?”
He understood what you said next without even glancing at the Korean characters on-screen.
“Yes.”
A sob escaped him before he could cover it up. Heart throbbing with hot pain, he wiped the tears away as they rolled down his face - your face. He returned to the mirror, taking in your reflection; the shape of your face; soft hair; the lovely curves of your figure. But mostly, he was lost in the eyes that stared back at him, heartbroken. This was you. The real you in all your beauty.
The picture of Yoosung Kim was still on the phone screen, an answer ready for him to pick.
“All of the things I say are already pre-determined. Is it the same with you?”
“ I usually get the pick of three options…”
The crack in his heart was splintered apart even further.
“So all those times in the chatroom when I felt like you knew exactly the right thing to say to me…?”
“ …I always tried to be true to myself.”
“What about these subtitles? And these English books?”
“ … I had to use the English version of the app. I can’t speak Korean  - but ever since I met you, I’ve learned a lot more than I did.”
This was too much. He felt strange, a million emotions fighting for control over his mind. He was in a different dimension - your dimension - where he was staring down at a phone with his face on it that was supposedly his dimension. You didn’t speak Korean. He didn’t speak English. Was your marriage a lie too? He’d never actually met you. Did he even exist?
“It’s a lot to take in. Are you okay?”
Not at all. But… But you were still MC. Even if everything he had ever learnt about you was now in question, at the core you were still the person he fell in love with in 11 days. The person he had pledged his life to. The person he wanted to have a family with. His MC.
“I still don’t really understand. But my heart hurts. I’m never going to get to meet you?”
“You still have the avatar I was using to interact with your world. She’s still me, even if she doesn’t look like it.”
“But… doesn’t it hurt… to see me with someone who isn’t you? To hold hands with someone who isn’t you… And kiss someone who isn’t you…”
“Our hearts are connected. And I want to love you no matter what. So… don’t worry about me. As long as you feel happy and loved, I will too.”
No sooner had he read it, the phone began to ring: Yoosung★
“MC,” he whispered after picking up, “You must have felt so lonely this entire time; knowing that I hadn’t met the real you.”
“I’m sorry,” came your reply, subtitles covering the call screen, “There was never an option to... And I didn't want to see you upset. If I had to shoulder that burden so we could feel happy, then it would be worth it."
"Damn it MC!" His voice cracked under the pressure of his thoughts, "Didn't you realise after everything I went through trying to talk to V about Rika?! I want the truth - even if it hurts! Because then I get to try and heal."
"I know... I'm sorry." He could hear you sniffling on the other end and his shoulders slumped, heavy with guilt.
"Hey, MC... Don't cry... I'm not angry with you... So please don't cry."
*sniffle* *sniffle*
"I'm just... even if this is the only time we'll ever get to talk freely... I feel so happy. But when I think about never being able to talk to you without constraints and limits on what I can say... I want to cry all over again."
"I know..." he murmured.
"But I want to use this chance to say this properly because I've never been able to say just how I feel. So will you listen?"
"Okay."
He heard you take a deep breath.
"You probably didn't know because I didn't talk a lot in the chatrooms about myself unless prompted but... when I joined the RFA I was in a really bad place. And I was so happy being a part of the organisation because I felt like I had a family. And then when I got to know you, I fell for you really hard. You are always so kind to me; checking I was eating three meals a day - which at first I wasn't - and asking me how my day was. You made me feel loved and cherished even before we confessed. I loved getting your calls and hearing your voice... and..."
"And..?"
"I saved that picture you sent of those roses as my wallpaper..."
He blushed, "You did?"
"But sometimes when I logged out of the chatroom I'd feel really sad because I wanted more than anything to meet you and hug you and hold your hand while watching some romance movie on Valentine's Day... Sometimes it made me feel this unbearable pain in my chest and I'd feel really lonely. There was always a part of me that wanted you to know about the gap between us... Sometimes I'd even write stories about telling you and what you'd say to me, and it made me feel better on bad days..."
"MC..." On the other side of the phone he could detect the emotion choking you up further and further the more you spoke. Loving him had been a double-edged blade that you had wanted to bear all by yourself and it made his entire body tremble.
"I understand if this is too painful for you... If you don't want to love me anymore because of this... I- I wouldn't blame you if you hung up and never spoke to me again."
His heart lurched, "I would never! You're still my precious one! I will always love you. And if that means loving you across dimensions for the rest of my life then so be it! That doesn't make that love any less. I don't love you any less. I love you more! You dealt with this secret by yourself for years - so... let me help you carry it now."
You had broken down, sobs echoing on the phone, "Y-Yoo...sung," you sobbed, "I love you! I r-really love... you... so so so... m-much."
A tear trickled down his cheek, but he wiped it away. He had to be strong for you. He had to protect you.
"Calm down Jagiya~" He cooed, "I'm right here! So focus on my voice and breathe." You did as he said but you were so worked up that it took a couple of minutes; hiccuping the only noise that told him you were still there.
"I'll never leave you," he promised, "I told you didn't I? I will always love you. So try not to worry - we can do this together now."
"Y-yeah."
"And on bad days, you can log into the RFA app and I'll be there waiting for you, 'kay?"
"Okay."
"And-- OH!" He shivered as something pulled him forwards; barely managing to stop himself from cracking the wall mirror with his face he shuddered. The force was still pulling him downwards and he noted the phone he had dropped from the sudden pull now discarded on the floor.
"MC!" He called, "I- I think we're going to switch back."
He didn't hear your answer, too busy trying to imprint the picture of your real face in his mind forever. Then the mirror was gone. He was caught in a whirlpool, being pulled in until it was hard to even breathe.
When something hard hit his gut, he was too winded to even exclaim in pain, but afterwards, he noted the return of his own body. He was back to being Yoosung Kim.
"Yoosung!" A voice screamed amongst the chaos, "Yoosung!"
There was a face, then a body... and a hand reaching out for him as it was being pulled away.
Instinctively he stretched out for you, ready to embrace as much of the real you as he could before you were taken away from him. The tide worked against the pair of you but with one last grunt of effort on his part, your fingertips brushed. For a split second, he felt your warmth and love without any screen dividing you.
Before you were pulled away again, forever.
~★~
He was back to his life.
Blinking, his eyes adjusting to the sudden dimness; the only available light the morning glow shining through the curtains as he sat up in the bed he shared with you. There was a groan as you rolled over to look at him, brunette hair tangled, splayed across your pillow.
"Good morning, Yoosung," you whispered, stifling a yawn.
He remembered the dream he had and the face he had seen. With a bittersweet smile he kissed the tip of your nose:
"Good morning, MC."
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The Lies and Truths of the RFA
This is my first story, so sorry if it’s not the greatest but I just loved this idea that I came up with.This story is told thru the chat and app of the RFA, which will include the chatroom, phone calls, and private messages of our leading lady Katelyn Cage. The story also includes some oc’s that I’ve come up with to spice things up.
Katelyn “Lynn” Cage has recently joined the RFA after an incident that lead her to help out the members in time of crisis. The story follows the months after the incident and we get to see how Lynn is adjusting to her new found friends. Is she ready to tell them the truth about what really happened that day? Or will she let the secret live on despite the oncoming threat?
Chapter One: Start of a Normal Day
NEW CHATROOM: Lynn, 707
*Lynn has entered the chatroom*
*707 has entered the chatroom*
Lynn: Oh hey.
707: Heyyyyyy
707: weird seeing you on here so late
707: lololol
Lynn: Yeah I couldn’t sleep so I came to see if anyone is on.
707: lucky for you God Seven is here to help
Lynn: Gee I’m so thrilled *deadpan*
Lynn: lololol
707: AGH! GOD SEVEN IS HURT
707: I HAVE HIT CRITICAL DAMAGE!!!
Lynn: *rolls eyes* Stop being dramatic.
707: lolol
707: dramatic is my middle name
Lynn: Maybe you should hang out with Zen less.
Lynn: He seems to be rubbing off on you.
Lynn: lolol
707: Aghhhh you have hurt me again!!!
Lynn: I’m pretty sure that’s a bigger dig to Zen lol
707: lolol
707: How come you couldnt sleep?
Lynn: I could ask you the same thing.
707: huh??
Lynn: Well your also up at 3am
Lynn: So that also must mean you can’t sleep either
707: Nopeeee
707: God Seven doesn’t need sleep when he is working none stop.
Lynn: Wait your working on something?
Lynn: What are you working on so late?
707: My lips are sealed Ms. Lynn
707: I’m just thrilled that for once you weren’t right
707: Woohoo!!! One point for God Seven
Lynn: Yeah like Seven- 1 and Moi- 100000
707: *sad face*
Lynn: lolol
Lynn: got a lot of catching up to do
707: Since I’m working what is “Ms. I know it all” doing up so late
Lynn: lol on that name
Lynn: But I told you, I just can’t go back to bed.
Lynn: I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep.
707: God Seven has a sneaking suspicion that there is more to this???
Lynn: Well as Ms. I know it all I can assure you nothing is going on
Lynn: Now then why don’t you tell me what you’re working on if we are trying to spill secrets.
707: Nope my lips are sealed
Lynn: Fine then your new name is now Mr. Mystery if we are giving out names
707: ohhhhh how about Mr. Mysterious instead
707: it sounds a lot cooler
Lynn: Nope!
Lynn: Your new name from now until you die is Mr. Mysteryyyy
707: NOOOOO
Lynn: lolol
Lynn: Even changing it in my phone.
707: MR. MYSTERY BACK DOWN TO CRITICAL DAMAGE!!
Lynn: You’re so childish lolol
707: I can be more childish then!!
Lynn: ?? Seven what do you mean
Lynn: Seven????
707: lol just wait and seeeeee lololol
Ms. KnowItAll: What-
Ms. KnowItAll: Omg!! Seven change it back!!
707: Nope lololol
707: It’s a perfect fit lol
Ms. KnowItAll: Seven! I swear change it back!!!!
707: looks like I have to go!!!
707: Duty calls!!!
707: See ya ;)
*707 has left the chatroom*
Ms. KnowItAll: Seven wait!!!
Ms. KnowItAll: Ugh…..
*Ms. KnowItAll has left the chatroom*
NEW CHATROOM: Christina, Jaehee
*Christina has entered the chatroom*
*Jaehee has entered the chatroom*
Christina: Morning, Jaehee!!!
Jaehee: Good morning Christina. Have you’ve seen Mr. Han this morning?
Christina: I just got off the phone with him. Did you need him for anything?
Jaehee: Well he’s running late for a meeting and he wasn’t answering my calls.
Christina: Sorry!! That was my fault we talked longer than we thought! I’ll make sure hes on his way for you!!
Jaehee: It is fine and thank you.
Christina: Omgggg
Christina: I just read last night’s log and those two are so cuteeeeee
Jaehee: I guess. Though it was really rude of him to change her name and then leave.
Christina: Yea… but they seem really cute when they are together!!
Jaehee: Can’t imagine anyone being able to put up with Seven’s antics
Jaehee: I wonder what Seven was working on though that late?
Christina: Idk probably something for his job or whatever that he forgot to do
*Ms. KnowItAll has entered the chatroom*
Ms. KnowItAll: …. I’m going to murder himmmm
Christina: Lololol Think it’s very fitting
Ms. KnowItAll: CHRIS!!!!
Christina: Okay, okay lolol
Jaehee: Good morning Lynn, I see you had a restless night I hope you got some rest.
Ms. KnowItAll: Morning! And I did get some thanks!
Ms. KnowItAll: Had to plan my revenge before I went to sleep though
Jaehee: Revenge??
Christina: Lynn what are you planning??
Ms. KnowItAll: Just wait and see…
*Mr. Mystery has entered the chatroom*
Mr. Mystery: WHAT IS THIS
Mr. Mystery: SOMEONE HAS HACKED GOD 707
Mr. Mystery: LYNN HOW COULD YOU!!
Jaehee: Oh god…. I thought I was going to have a good morning  
Christina: Cheer up, Jaehee!!
Ms. KnowItAll: Lolol
Mr. Mystery: Change it back *sadface*
Ms. KnowItAll: Eh no?!?! Not till you change mine back!
*Saeran has entered the chatroom*
Saeran: … jeez
Mr. Mystery: Saeran!!!!! Look what Lynn did!!
Ms. KnowItAll: lolol leave my accomplice alone!!!!
Mr. Mystery: Accomplice??!
Mr. Mystery: Saeran how could you!!!
Saeran: I’m not dealing with you two…
*Saeran has left the chatroom*
Jaehee: I have no idea how he can put up with Seven every day.
Christina: I feel bad for him.
Christina: Before you two dorks battle this out
Christina: Seven have you’ve heard from V?
Mr. Mystery: Eh No? How come you want to know?\
Christina: Well we’re trying to plan another party and need his confirmation??
Jaehee: It is weird that he hasn’t reached out to anyone in the past month.
Christina: I don’t think even Jumin has been able to reach him.
Mr. Mystery: No need to worry! He told me he would be back by the end of the month
Ms. KnowItAll: Thought you said you haven’t talked to him?
Mr. Mystery: eh
Mr. Mystery: lolol
Mr. Mystery: I forgot we talked last week
Jaehee: Well that’s good news.
Christina: Yea! That means we can move forward with the next party!
Ms. KnowItAll: Yea…
Mr. Mystery: Yep
Mr. Mystery: Anywayyyyy
Mr. Mystery: You outsmarted me Ms. Lynn and got my own brother to betray me so ill give you your name back lolol
Lynn: yaaayyyy lol
Lynn: I let Saeran decide if he wants to change it back XD
Mr. Mystery: Noooooo
Christina: Awwww you two are so adorable!!!!
Jaehee: You two seem to make such the odd pair
Lynn: What’s that supposed to mean????
Christina: Uh… your hopeless
Mr. Mystery: … Anywayyy I gotta go back to the world of 1s and 0s!!
Mr. Mystery: Farewelll!!
*Mr. Mystery has left the chatroom*
Jaehee: I have no idea how he has so much energy
Christina: Yea but I’m glad we can have the next party soon!!
Lynn: Yea just have to wait for V to get back from wherever he is at
Jaehee: Well I must get back to work
Christina: Oh! Jumin should be there in like 10 mins!!
Jaehee: Thank you Christina!!
Lynn: See yaaaaaa
Jaehee: Good bye.
*Jaehee has left the chatroom*
Lynn: Seems like you and Jumin are getting closeeeeee
Christina: Lynn!!!
Lynn: Omggg
Lynn: So when is the wedding? XXDDD
Christina: Lynn!! Stop it!!
Lynn: Okay, okay lolol
Lynn: What are you doing today
Christina: Working on some of the clothing for the fashion show and photoshoot next week
Lynn: ooooooh sounds exciting!
Lynn: Can’t wait to see it
Christina: Yea about the photoshoot…. :)
Lynn: …. What do you want?
Christina: Well I was wondering… if you could be the model for the clothes?
Lynn: Chris!
Christina: I know you don’t like doing stuff like this but you would be perfect!!
Lynn: Chris you don’t have to have me to do any of this. You could hire an actual model.
Christina: Yea but I trust you more and I know everything will look amazing on you!!
Christina: Pleaseeeeee
Christina: For your bestest friend *pleading face*
Lynn: ugh…. Fine
Christina: Omg yaaayy
Lynn: But just this once!!
Christina: Yea okay… Omg I can’t wait!!!
Christina: I’ll let you know the time and place by tonight!!
Lynn: Okay, but I mean it Christina just this once!!
Christina: mmhmm
Christina: Well I gotta go
Christina: See yaa
Lynn: Bye, Chris
*Christina has left the chatroom*
*Lynn has left the chatroom*
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TOP 880 “SUPERHERO” MOVIES IN 2019
by Maverick B. Updated: Jan. 11, 2019
#1 - GLASS
Glass has bang or bust potential, and from all the birdies fluttering around, critics seem to think it’ll be the latter. I have unfounded high hopes for this, as it’s an interesting take on a new universe of superheroes/thrillers. Let’s coin it the Shyamalaniverse. Easy to say and spell, so that should catch on quickly.
Yes, Mr. M. Night has definitely disappointed us before (Re: The Last Airbender & Lady In The Water), he seems to be making the right moves here.
This continuation proves that Unbreakable was ahead of it’s time, and thankfully Bruce Willis hasn’t yet aged out of the character. Casting the genius of James McAvoy solidified that tertiary role as compelling and intriguing. Even if somehow the movie is a bust, Shyamalamadingdong has already qualified that by hinting the movie isn’t the movie represented in the theatrical trailers. That leads me to believe the 3 central characters, which pivotal aren’t what we will be watching for.
Enter: Casey Cooke. If that’s not a superhero secret identity name - well I guess I’m outsmarting myself. No more comments on this as theories can be just as bad as spoilers.
#2 - CAPTAIN MARVEL
Leave it to the Marvel Universe to release super fucking awesome minority character titles, right before the decade long saga blockbuster finales. Black Panther was an almost perfect Marvel movie, sadly over shadowed by the high anticipated Infinity War (Avengers 3-A). Now that they are closing out this intense storyline in Endgame (Avengers 3-B) a month after Captain Marvel is released, another minority superhero title will overshadowed by the majority of movie goers + critics. Yes, all signs point to Endgame being the film of this century, but I’m much more excited to see a female lead with such wicked awesome (MCU) power potential.
Sure - If Adam Warlock is just a diversion, Captain Marvel could play a huge role in Endgame, which would be so wonderful in my opinion. However, anyone who knows anything about the Infinity Gauntlet Saga, would be hard pressed to say that C.M. will seamlessly integrate into that storyline. This is actually why I’m more excited for Captain Marvel than Endgame. If it stands alone, it will be the foundation of the next saga of Marvel Movies (Phase 4). If it plays as a prequel to the final Avengers movie, then she will have a huge role in restoring the order of the Universe v. Thanos (Ya know, because she can time travel, among her many other super cool abilities). Both scenarios are fucking badass and exciting to me.
P.S. Brie Larson is gonna fucking kill it. You haters can go fuck yourselves.
#3 - DARK PHOENIX
//rant - Apocalypse (2016) was so bad I actually forgot it existed. Now that I have been reminded by many friends of the shit that FOX put out there- I was poised to move this down on my list. But then I went back and watched First Class (2011) & Days Of Future Past (2014), and it gave me hope again. AND THEN I watched The Last Stand (2006) again, and realized I’m obviously a masochist.
Bryan Singer is a mad man with no baseline. He, possibly, could have lucked into making one good X-Men movie on the coat tails of Matthew Vaughn, subsequently losing steam with Apocalypse. And now I’m down in the rabbit hole of the thought process; “Well Simon Kinberg wrote Days of Future Past, which was solid - and has been producing the the show Legion, which is phenomenal… and Bryan Singer is off this project so all signs point to this being more in the DOFP And First Class caliber”… meanwhile all I can do is think about Sansa Sta… I mean… Sophie Turner’s eyes and charisma… and then justify Apocalypse as a Phoenix timeline primer… which then spins me back to how bad The Last Stand was. How did that not ruin Hugh Jackman’s career? I presume Halle Berry, Kelsey Grammer, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn and Famke Janssen all died in post production depression from that movie. Fucking Patrick Stewart was still knighted 4 years after that, which was probably only by the grace of Ian McKellen and sheer will & power of the Star Fleet.
*head explodes* - rant//
Okay- maybe I’m just really in love with Sophie Turner and want definitively nothing more than for her to kill it! Yeah, that sounds less psychotic. I think…
#4 - Avengers: ENDGAME
Do I really have to explain this one? If you’ve been living under a rock for a decade here you go:
Iron Man (2008) spawned a wonderful series of movies that became the Civil Wars/Infinity Gauntlet Saga. And now’s it’s almost over. So - like… go watch them all and then come back to this list. NOW!
PS. You can skip Captain America: Winter Soldier. It’s a little important to the timeline… but only if you really care to waste two hours of your life.
#5 - Shazam
If you’re not excited for this, then your inner child is dead. This movie, in the same vain as Aquaman, will be the good kind of bad. Which is the best we could hope for with this type of Comic based movie. Think more “Great American Hero” than Shazam reboot.
AND the planned release of DC’s “Captain Marvel” (what Shazam was called previously) is just a giant “fuck you” to the MCU. So you can assume they have recruited the greatest comic book nerd minds and put them in god mode for the production of this. Or they just picked up a screenwriter and director from a street corner and give them 30 million dollars in a gigantic gamble that is certainly not gonna be a disaster.
I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT, FOLKS!
#6 - Joker
Here’s how the equation works for the modern time Cinematic Jokers.
Jack Nicholson = Terrible Joker Heath Ledger = Amazing Joker Jared Leto = Amazingly Terrible Joker Joaquin Phoenix = Terribly Amazing Joker?
Ya dig?
#7 - SPAWN [Delayed?]
It’s not a hard story to tell. Boy meets devil. Devil punks boy. Boy feels punk’d so he tries to murder the Devil. Just like Ross and Rachel, it’s that whole “will they, won’t they” game, and it’s a beautiful train wreck.
You’re right, that’s really not a good synopsis of Spawn. This is a can’t miss though. Three simple words: Jamie Foxx, brah!
What I really mean is, if it ever gets made, this will be a great movie.
#8 - FAR FROM HOME
Homecoming really nailed it for me, and this Spider’s contribution to the Avengers movies was great. I have no reason to put this so far down on the list except I’m really done with the same story over and over again, and they haven’t really promised me anything fresh for this movie. That being said, as long as Tobey Maguire doesn’t breathe near this film, and Marc Webb is never allowed near a Marvel movie again, this franchise has been revived and will continue to rock!
PS. Tobey Maguire is the dumbest way to spell either of those names. I know it’s not his fault, but he really had options - especially in hollywood - to fix this a long time ago. *sigh*
#9 - #877 ANY RANDOM BULLSHIT MEDIA THAT PEOPLE PUT OUT DURING 2019
This is the unofficial sum of the movies/videos/short films/youtube rants/whatever that will be put out there for the public to view that will be better than the final 3 films on this list.
#878 - THE NEW MUTANTS
Calling it right now, it’s going fail so hard that people are going to walk out of the theater. If it doesn’t, I’ll vow to destroy the thing most precious to me. (currently that’s my Uber Eats App)
#879 - SUICIDE SQUAD 2
FUCK… THIS… SHIT… How did they get funding for another one. I blame Will Smith for letting this continue. FUCK THIS SHIT!
#880 - HELLBOY II
Why? I’m not even going to waste my time with this one either. FUCK THIS SHIT x2!
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Convallaria Majalis
Pairing: SaeranxOC 
Warnings: This is Self-Insert type story. This is not beta-read, and constructive criticism isn’t wanted. It’s written purely for own my amusement. I’ve been posting his story on AO3 and FFN for a while, but I figure there an audience here on Tumblr that could warrant me posting here as well. There are some mature elements that should be taken with care, it includes warnings for Anxiety, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and PTSD. This story contains spoilers for Ray Route, and V Route, as well as elements from the Secret Ends. 
Word Count: 12,169. 
AO3 | Fanfiction 
Chapter One 
L I L A 
I.
"Awake."
"Error, again?" I stared at the phone with disdain. "Really? Why is it that everyone else can enjoy the DLCs and I'm stuck with an endless error message? I guess I could prowl forums until I find an answer."
Mystic Messenger was the height of Otome games on mobile platforms. For a long time the only quality romance games that you could play were desktop based, so when I found out there was a good one for your phone, color me stoked. I had been playing nonstop since my sleeping schedule was shit and I needed the affection from something. There wasn't any answer to be found, I scowled after checking a few pages. It wasn't like I hadn't already finished the deep routes, but I wanted to complete the Christmas DLC to one hundred percent. So much for that, ugh. It was too early in the morning for me to consider crawling out of bed just yet but I didn't have any more apps that I could refresh but - if the game wasn't going to be working for me, again! - I would just have to sit here in the quiet and think about my life. Poor choice, really, but I wasn't going to venture into the cold of my apartment until I had to do it.
"Then again, I can just check my to-do list." There was my sloppy but carefully taken dribble as I opened the app. I flipped through my notepad and did a mental run-through of what needed to be done for work and the house. I had to finish my report before I submitted my updated proof for my supervisor, make sure the fridge had enough for the rest of the week, and I needed to do a head-count on my paint supplies before I marched out the front door. All and all I would be home before noon if I didn't want to do anything else. I set my phone down and decided to shut my eyes for a few minutes.
My alarm clock began to sound not even five minutes after I dug my head back into my pillow.
Sometimes you happen to have a chance encounter that might change your life. Sometime you might just wake up and things are out of your control, or maybe you wake up in a different room then the one you're used to... either way, there's a day when things change direction and I know firsthand that these days can come out of left field. Something that you find yourself comfortably living every day until a new normal finds you. For a long time, I would wake up, crawl out of bed and begin my work in the kitchen after splashing water on my face and brushing my teeth, and keep working until I got hungry. It had been like this for a couple of months already, and the lingering scars in the mirror couldn't bother me as long as I kept to myself and did what I needed to do. You see, only a few months ago, you could have found me doing a stint in the hospital for my poor health habits. I had a hard time taking care of myself when it came to sleeping and eating, it wasn't exactly a trait that I was proud of, but it was something that had been with me since my teen years.
Whispers and murmurs behind my back about my appearance from my classmates and even my parents had destroyed my confidence and by extension, I had hurt myself to make others like me. I'm not proud of it. Every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I would feel disgusted and look away. Dysmorphia had a way of crawling up your spine like a spider and waiting for the moment to jump out and take a bite of you when you could do nothing but try to push it away - but fail.
Today wasn't all that different.
I got out of bed and hastily did my morning routine. I just had to go out of my apartment to run some errands instead of going straight to work, that was normal for a Wednesday. I had a list of this and that, that and this, but it shouldn't have broken too much time in the rest of the day as long I as get myself together in this good mood. It started as a better morning, really, I found it in me to fix my hair back and put on one of my jumper dresses. The reflection didn't make me feel as bad as it might have another day.
Hopefully, that would last.
How wrong I was, I realized when I slung my bag over my shoulder and opened my front door to see someone standing in the way. I gripped the door handle hard, and grit my teeth. "It's nice to see you again, Mom."
There she was standing in the doorway, my Mother, with a vase of sunflowers and the most unnerving smile. She had her hand raised as if she were about the knock the front door but couldn't when I opened the door instead. Of course, when I said that it was nice to her, I didn't mean it. We had never had a close relationship and it was only strained at this point. She didn't agree with my choices that I had been making over the last year, although she was the first one to say that she was proud of me on social media for the attention and sympathy. "Hold the pleasantries, Lila. I know you wouldn't have opened this door if you weren't on the way out."
I stepped to the side, and let her into my apartment rather than deal with an argument. "Is there a reason why you stopped by this morning?"
"Do I need a reason to visit my daughter?" She countered without even blinking, sauntering into the living room and setting her flowers down by the kitchen table. "I happened to be in the neighborhood."
"You live five blocks from here, you're always in the neighborhood." I returned. "I'm kind of in a hurry, Mom. I have a lot of errands to run before my appointment with Karen."
The ever-present smile was a little troubling. Mom turned back around to face me after looking at the canvases and makeshift art studio that my kitchen had become in the last couple of weeks. "Ah, yes, your therapist. I hope that's going well. All of my friends are concerned about your well-being after that mess in April." That mess in April that she was referring to had amounted to a situation where my Grandparents caught me in a lie, and I passed out in their home from malnutrition, and partly exhaustion. It occurred just three months after I had broken up with my abusive boyfriend after six months of terror, and five months after the loss of my father. It had a been a long and grueling year for my family, not that we never had a time where we weren't living some kind of lifetime drama film.
"And?" I braced myself.
"It's almost been a year since... the accident. Your sister has been living her life while you've been couped up, locking yourself in this apartment without even trying to make a difference." She started, walking back over to me. "Everyone is concerned that you're wasting your life here, it's one thing that you've been trying to waste your life painting, but now everyone is starting to pity me because my depressed daughter is unable to help herself. You need to stop wallowing about your father and get out there, date, have fun."
I started to talk back, "I'm content the way I am, Mom." but she cut me off and began to talk louder, to talk over me.
"And look where that's getting you, dear, you need to take a hard look in the mirror and get yourself together." She rested a hand against my shoulder, nails digging into the skin. "I expect you to stop embarrassing me before the holidays. I don't want to see you crying and making a fool of yourself in front of everyone again." That hung over my head like a weight. There it was again, the attitude that I couldn't just wash off. My Mother wasn't one to be trifled with if you decided to openly disagree with her methods and while it had been alright when I was a little girl; It was unbelievably too much for me to bare these days. It might have been because I was the only target of this thinking. We had been going back and forth like this for months because she wanted to be the one that was right in the end.
I didn't have the energy for it.
I shook head, just pretending to agree with her words. "I don't want to argue. You can do whatever you want to do, but I'm heading out."
"Wisteria, how are you feeling today?" Her hand was firm against her pad of paper as her pencil began to jot down the little things. Where we could improve on my function and how I could live my day to day without letting my impulsivity control me. This office smelled of disinfectant and cleaner. It wasn't something that bothered me much but it was all I could focus on this whole session. It was one thing that my day had started like it would be alright, but when my Mom came over and soured the whole thing, my mood had shifted and I think she could tell. She started and ended every session by asking me how I was feeling at that moment. I wasn't in the mood to talk about what had happened, so I carried on as if it were any other session.
The clock on the wall read a quarter past three and that meant we were coming to a close for this meeting.
"Huh?"
"I said how are you feeling? You've been a little distracted today. I've been doing most of the talking, and I'm curious where you're thinking today."
"It's already been a day and it hasn't even really started." I leaned against the table in front of me. My hand sinking into my chin as I closed my eyes. "I'm alright. I have had some alright days this month. I haven't felt... acted on the need to purge since my release. Sorry I didn't mention that at the beginning... I've been following my meal plan that we worked out to a tee thanks to my family. It's been a long couple of days, but I'm feeling a little better about my control when it comes to my dysmorphia. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night, that thunderstorm kept me up for a while."
"I'm glad to hear things are going better for you. You've been doing an excellent job lately at keeping up with that. Has there been any change in your mood? In regards to what you were struggling with about your father? You seemed upset during our last session but are you ready to talk about it?" She asked, the quirk of her eyebrow lifting just enough that it caught my attention. She always tried to pull that topic up but I wasn't ready to deal with it, we had mentioned it here and there, but it wasn't something that could come out yet.
My shoulders lifted into a shrug. "Let's give that a little more time, Karen. I'm doing that on my own right now - there's still a lot I want to think about before I open up about that. It's not bothering me as bad as it was before because I've been focusing hard on getting my physical health better, along with my job and affairs. I just don't want to deal with that can of worms right now."
"That's understandable, but you know we'll have to deal with that eventually. Just think about how we can better address it for next time." She reminded me, as she set her pen down against her desk. "Let's meet again in two weeks to discuss any more changes... but in the meantime, you can call me whenever you need to talk about anything."
That was therapy for you. I had been making some progress since we had started the meeting, which I was grateful for, but my mind had been other places during our session. I wasn't going to admit it to anyone, but I had been spending my time doing more than working and listening to a meal plan. My phone indicated that while I had been in my session I had missed a few things. I pilfered through what I missed, this and that, that and this but cleared them all out until I got to the most recent notification. I had missed a chatroom deadline on the game that I was playing. An Otome, Mystic Messenger, one of those exciting games where you could pick anyone you wanted and romance the.
"Huh, I guess I missed another chatroom." That wasn't the worst thing in the universe. I was trying to go through the Christmas DLC on Mystic Messenger at that moment, and I had enough hourglass to spare for one uncounted chatroom but I probably wouldn't waste it knowing the whispers of extra content coming very soon. I had already done a run-through of the different routes and now I was trying to get the DLCs entirely done before any more were released onto the game. There wasn't anything else left to complete with all of the RFA's routes done on my application. I was a little desperate for the interaction with my fictional friends so I settled for this.
I booted the messenger but it errored out.
"Please?" I begged, silently.
It errored once again when I attempted it open it again.
"Goddammit."
This had been happening a lot lately when I tried to play the game and it didn't seem to be happening to anyone else. It forced itself out at various times of the day and I couldn't fight it. Nobody else had this problem when I cruised the blogs and pages about it. I just mounted it to my luck. It was just a weak signal or maybe a bug that needed to be corrected. Little did I know, but there was a reason why my game was lagging and it wasn't just a chance of bad luck, and it would stem back to an encounter that I had put in the back of my mind.
I could always play some of the other Otome games that I had on my PC in the meantime if this was going keep happening. "Really? I can't believe this, maybe there's some traffic on the servers or something. Ugh, I was hoping to finally get Unknown after clearing everyone else." I grumbled, stashing my phone back in my bag as I headed into the cafe across the street from my therapist's office. It had been another meeting, uneventful and we didn't make a lot of progress. I was a lot more comfortable with her lately, which was good because she didn't treat me poorly if I slipped up and made a mistake. It was much better than dealing with what my Mother thought was the right way to handle the situation. She wanted to throw me to the dogs, so to speak. She wanted to make me work with her at her salon so she could make sure that I didn't embarrass her with my health problems. Fortunately, my older sister and Grandparents advocated for me and I got into the proper programs to help me piece my life back together.
The door jingled with alarm as I entered.
"Hi, Lila!"
"Oh, hey," I greeted the girl behind the counter with a weak smile. She knew my older sister but I hadn't ever caught her name. I think it was Samantha, so let's just go with that for now, I never would be able to work up the courage to ask that since she assumed I knew. "I'm looking for my usual, I need something to pick me up for my next project."
Samantha raised an eyebrow, "Another all-nighter?" she asked.
That was a jab at my poor working habits. I was already well aware that I had a beautiful little ring of purple underneath my eyelids for how hard I had been working these past few months. It was my choice to get involved with the projects that I was working on, it was so much of my own choice that I could work as long as I wanted and was physically capable of doing so, that I didn't mind if I was awake at three in the morning. It was my choice and nobody else. It had been only a year and some change since my choices weren't my own - since somebody told me what to do when to do it, and how to do it. I was beyond that life now and living how I wanted to, and I was managing my own life much better than I had been once before. Six months ago was my breaking point and I was forced to deal with the lingering haunt behind me; The remnants of that relationship had left me with self-loathing and the inability to look into a mirror for even a moment.
My dysmorphia was a ghost that lingered in my shadow and it would always haunt me from just beyond my peripheral vision. It was all that was left of that failed relationship and it stuck to me even now, it was a daily struggle to combat but I made due. Some people would look at me and call me brave for fighting - fighting a monster that had been created out of my fear and someone's else's control - but I didn't see it that way. I wasn't some knight fighting for my own life in battle, I still sometimes saw myself as the fearful princess in the tower.
I was a graphic designer who ran on her hours most of the time. When I wasn't creating websites and pamphlets for people, I would pour myself into my real passion which was painting and illustration. It was what I loved doing the most but it wasn't easy to do it and getting paid for your passions was next to impossible in the eyes of many of my family members. Alas, that's how I ended up where I was. I disregarded her tone and I shook my head. "It's not for work this time around. It's for the baby," I explained. "I promised Lucy that I would have my gift for the nursery done before the holidays and it needs a few more touchups."
"Oh. I can't wait to see what you're doing then, at least I can trust you to show me how it'll be. I can't count on Lucy to answer my texts lately. I haven't seen your sister in a few weeks, could you remind her that I know she sees what I'm saying but she doesn't reply? I know she posts about being too busy to do anything but I beg to differ." Samantha rang up the register and retrieved my drink from the back.
She handed me the cup and I smiled back at her with a little shrug. "No promises."
I decided that I needed to clear my mind that afternoon. I had all of my supplies with me on purpose, I made sure to leave my apartment that morning with everything that I might need to keep my mind occupied out of the house for a while. And for once I was glad that I grabbed everything that I needed before I opened the front door, I might have never been able to get out of dodge so fast this morning if I hadn't done that. My apartment was inevitably going to be cleaned up thanks to my Mom but it was going to be the kind of clean that she was fond of, it meant that a lot of things weren't going to be out of place. I lived in an environment that could be called controlled chaos; Nothing looked like it made sense to an outsider but for me, I knew where everything was that I needed and I liked it that way.
It didn't matter if anybody else liked it, it was my home and that meant I could have it the way I liked it. When I finally moved out of my childhood home a few months ago after the accident I made sure that my new place would be everything that I couldn't have there.
I knew I needed to get back and finish the project that my supervisor needed the final proof of, but I wanted to have at least an hour to work on something that for me, not just for some company. There was a creative control over my work that I couldn't entirely show what I wanted because I had to do what the client wanted, not exactly what I might have liked to do. When I was painting or trying to do something for myself, I could do anything. So, I walked to the park after I left the cafe, I would have to walk through it to get back to my apartment anyway. This place was a place that held a lot of good memories and bad memories; The good ones outweighed the bad ones in my opinion, and I wanted that comfort of the pleasant times in my mind instead of the pain that lingered from the present.
It took a few minutes, but everything poured out of my bag and I started to take work the moment I found a spot that caught my attention. It was a shaded tree close to the overpassing bridge, a patch of roses planted by the city not too long ago had taken root and the striking red color stood out against the sea of greens and browns.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" I didn't turn around but I hear someone stir from behind me. The voice wasn't familiar, so I chalked to a stranger that had seen me painting from afar and wanted to learn more or even see what I was doing. "You don't see people painting out in the open like this, forgive me for being forward but I like what you've done with the flowers."
My little laugh left my lips. That wasn't a new experience. People had watched me before so it didn't bother me too much when someone wanted to see or make a little comment. It was nice to hear something positive after the morning that I had. "Thanks for saying so, but it's not precisely representational of the scenery. I took the liberty of adding some more native flowers to make it feel a little more striking."
The man leaned a bit closer, not enough that I wanted to flinch but enough that I could feel his presence. "Yes, the dogwood gives clarity to your canvas. It holds many meanings, but might I guess that you mean to use it as a sign of rebirth or hope?"
"Regret," I murmured. "Actually."
"Interesting, I wouldn't have expected that to be your choice." The man commented. "You don't seem like the type to have experienced that kind of a pain in your life."
My pencil continued to rake across the paper as I added a few details, making sure to note things my eyes might miss when I was to begin painting. I pursed my lips. "That's the funny thing about people you pass by every day. You might not know anything about that person but they're going through something you wouldn't believe. It's like that flower there," my eyes fell on the bud that yet to bloom. "It hasn't bloomed like the rest of its friends for a number of different reasons, but it'll sprout it leaves one of these days and be just as beautiful as the rest."
"The other flowers are blocking it from receiving the adequate amount of sunlight. It might not ever bloom without a delicate hand to guide it to its full potential. " He said.
I set my pencil down and took a closer look. "Oh, wait, you're right. If they trim back some of the tops it'll reach it a lot better right now. I can't believe that missed that and I call myself a girl with a decent green thumb, hah. I come to this spot pretty often because I can't go out to the Lancelot Gardens every day, have you ever been?"
"No, but I've heard a few things about it," the stranger replied.
My smile widened at the thought of getting any more strangers to visit the place. I was always advertising for my Grandparents when I got the chance and I wasn't about to stop doing that just because I didn't see them as often as I would like anymore. "Oh, you really should if you ever get to the interstate. They're just right of it down a clay road. I grew up on those gardens and they still never fail to take my breath away. I'd be pressed to say that there isn't another place like it in the world." I could see it in my mind when I shut my eyes. "There's just about anything you could imagine down there, but there are sprawling fields of Wisteria out there. Some people call it invasive but lemme tell you, seeing it cover the landscape and treetops is awe-inspiring. It's a page right of the storybooks."
"I could show you one better," He began to say. "But hearing you speak so fondly of the flowers makes me wonder what you might think if you could see the spot I often visit."
"And where might that be?" I asked, curious.
When I turned around to see the man he was gone. I thought for a brief moment that I had just hallucinated the entire encounter but left on the ground was unrest in the dirt, a footprint impression on the ground told me that there had been somebody these speaking to me that time. It was odd to just some idle conversation with someone and then just disappear before it could be finished. I hadn't had such a calm conversation with someone about the flowers since I ran some of the tours back at my Grandpa's gardens. I almost felt a little sad I couldn't ask him his name. My phone was sitting on the ground behind me as well, I raised an eyebrow at the sight. I thought I had set it in my bag. Why was it sitting on the grass?
It would be a few nights later that I would realize that that chance encounter would change my life forever.
"What would you do if I told you that sometimes growing up feels like you're burying your childhood and kicking it for good measure?" The phone was on speaker so I didn't need to put the effort into holding the device in my hand. The moment that I got out of the rain and back into my apartment I collapsed onto my bed in a crumpled heap. Another week of mindless work, sleeping when I could find the time to do it and working when I wasn't sleeping. It was just another day in the life. My phone started ringing at that very moment as well, and while I might have usually just ignored the sound and just laid there something told me that I needed to check who it was. Lucy had such a lot going on lately in her life - and I did as well, that meant that we couldn't just talk to each other like we used to be able to do.
While I felt like this was a heavy weight upon me - I never expressed it to her completely... not when she had a small child on to tend to.
On the other end of the phone, she let out a small scoff at the question I inquired. Typical for Lucy, she had a clear head on her body even if she sometimes seemed like the world's biggest goofball. "Have you been binging Disney movies while you're feeling the height of your depression again? That's kind of a weird way to deal with all you're going through right now, but if it's helping go for it." This was her attempt at trying to tease me - to make me feel better about myself.
I rolled my eyes. "There's nothing wrong with indulging in fairy tales as long as you know how to separate fantasy and reality. Life is a little different than being a Cinderella, where your misfortune can lead you to something better you weren't expecting along the way, but hey, I can dream. I might digress, but I have been painting a lot of castles lately."
"And I'm still dreaming I can fly." Lucy retorted. It was always great to know her sarcasm was holding up ever since she had her daughter - as if I could ever believe that it was going to go away just because she had a mini-me in the making. I could only hope that her daughter wasn't going to turn out like her because if she did, I might start losing my hair well before my time. There could only be one Lucy, after all. I hoped. I grumbled under my breath and she just laughed at me.
When her laughter quieted, she got serious. "What's got you feeling like that anyway?"
"Oh." There wasn't going to be one little thing that made me feel this way. With a little sigh, I admitted to her just a little bit of information. "A little of this, a little of that... you know the deal. It's just one of those days, Lucy. There were some good things and there were some bad things, it's hard to say what pulled me back into this rut."
Lucy gave a soft hum in response. "How's everything holding up other than that?"
"I've been rocking a killer headache today, but I just took some painkillers that might be able to knock it down just enough that I can get some rest later if I try. Other then that it's been kind of a decent week if you ask me over." I grimaced as I remembered the one point bad point of my week that I wanted to forget. "Mom did drop by earlier this week, but that's not worth mentioning."
"Oh." Lucy didn't have to say much else about that.
It was coming out like word vomit. This feeling that Lucy had heard something from the woman that I already knew. "If she told you that I hadn't cleaned up the place, she's exaggerating like always. I left her in my apartment for a few hours and when I came back everything was out of place because she has her system that she thinks we should follow." I paused as my eyes darted around the living room of my apartment with a grimace. "A few magazines on the floor is enough to start World War Three in her opinion. You know how that goes."
My eyes lingered on the flowers that sat on the corner table next to my lampshade when they reached them. It was a simple pot and a big array of flowers that my Mother preferred. They were a shade of yellow that I wasn't fond of, they reminded of something that I wanted to forget desperately, however, no matter how hard I glared at the floral arrangement it would spontaneously combust. My Mom didn't listen whenever I told her not to drop by flowers if she wasn't going to remember the ones that I couldn't stand. "You know what kind of flowers she dropped off when she visited though? I've told her time and time again that I don't want to see them."
"Sunflowers?" She asked.
I rolled over on the couch so I wasn't facing the vase. "Who do those flowers think they're fooling? They can't be as bright as the sun and make me happy as they do her." I said. "I just don't think they're all that great." There was a pause on the other line for a moment. Lucy sounded like she was shifting something in her hands and then set it down onto something like a table from the clank in the background. "Well, you can get a decent snack out of them if she got them from Grandpa's gardens, so that's a good bedside treat. I'll try to remind her to pick up something different if she wants to bring you some next time. alright?"
"Much appreciated, sis," I told her with a weak smile crossing my lips. The light from my phone diminished into darkness. I would never have the heart to tell her that those were the flowers that Dad would get for Mom on their anniversary every single year and they just reminded me of a man that I used to know and who was long gone. Someone who was once impossibly light - once who bore the universe, the sun, the stars in my eyes - turned into a withered bed of thorns and a face that I could no longer see behind who he had become in the process. I couldn't stand that thought - and our Mom would never understand how much I hated to see something once great turned into something that left a sour taste in my mouth. I wouldn't be able to sleep if my brain wouldn't give me some reprieve from the nightmares.
I crawled out of bed and decided to go for a walk.
The only place that I could go to think was the bridge in the park that Father had often taken me throughout my life. It was surrounded by the rushing water and some plants overcast from the trees nearby. It was nice to see, well, it might have been nice if it wasn't for the thick dense fog that had brewed before morning twilight. I tried to keep my thoughts together and just feel lighter than the nightmares that haunted me. For a while, I just stood there and tried to feel something. The flowers were out of my reach but I could see the roses from my spot. I hadn't yet begun to paint the piece that I had started a few days but the red flowers reminded me of that strange encounter.
I wonder if I'll ever meet that guy again. They do say people run into others for a reason and the thought of a place prettier then the one I knew still left a little curious. Oh well, I decided. I'll leave that one to fate. The chill air against my skin reminded me that I should turn back head for my apartment. I counted the cracks in the pavement as I headed back - when I counted the last crack, I lifted my head and looked around to see if the dense fog had begun to clear just yet.
"Huh?" I couldn't recognize my surroundings at all. The morning fog was strong enough that I couldn't entirely make out the surrounding buildings but they were not the ones that should have been here. Now, I had experienced periods of fatigue and confusion that left me confused about myself or my environment at times, but this was a different feeling that I was experiencing. This wasn't like my town. I pinched myself and that proved that I was awake and - yes, this was happening. "I guess I should have slept some earlier because I can't even recognize my park. Oh my God, Karen was right about deprivation."
Grabbing my bag, I tore through it to find my phone. When I looked down at my phone I noticed an application was installing. My apps usually updated by themselves during the might when I slept, but this one had a name I wasn't familiar with... Against my better judgment, I decided to see what it was. It opened on my screen and gave me the option to input some reasonably necessary information and then it gave me one more option.
I plugged in my alias as the nickname.
The application didn't give me any option but to enter a mysterious looking chatroom.
Wisteria has entered the chatroom.
Unknown: Hi! Finally, someone to talk to!
I stared at my phone screen uncertain if what I was seeing was real, had I accidentally opened Mystic Messenger and started a new game? The static of the background reminded me of the first I didn't remember doing that... Might my phone be on the fritz? I thought. The background of the chat room was of data and code but it wasn't exactly like the one that I had put to my memory. Something about it made my stomach churn with butterflies. Why was this appearing here of all places?
I clicked the dialogue box.
My keyboard sprung open... and the line flashed as if it was waiting for my input into the box. It didn't give me a choice. It wanted me to input something as a response... Nervously I began to type a message.
Wisteria: Oh... hello?
Unknown: I hope I didn't surprise you. Don't be nervous I'm just an "ordinary person".
Wisteria: Usually when someone says that, they are anything but ordinary, Mr. Unknown.
Unknown: You're funny lol I can't say that I'm extraordinary when I'm introducing myself. Shouldn't I be humble and modest?
Wisteria: I suppose I might have cracked a joke too if I was introducing myself to somebody for the first time too. I can understand the sentiment you're going for. I think. Who are you, exactly? Um, how did this even open? I don't remember downloading any apps.
Who are you, indeed. I clicked out of the chat for a moment to see the name of the application.
RFA...?
It was called RFA Messenger. That was suspicious enough for me to wonder what was going on. It didn't say Mystic Messenger despite looking damn-near identical to the platform with some minor visual differences. Why did it appear so much like it? I wondered. Was this one of fake versions that appeared on the app store? I didn't remember downloading anything like that - I certainly didn't put one on my waitlist. So... What the heck? Sometimes I would download something interesting if it caught my eye but I couldn't remember clicking anything before I left my apartment. It wasn't out of the realm of possibility that I did do it.
"I saw one of those before but... this looks too legitimate to be a fake," I mumbled as I inspected the screen further with scrutiny. "What the heck?"
Another message came in. I continued walking down the path but the bridge seemed much longer than usual for some reason, and for a moment when I knew that I had to look back down at my phone, I stopped just at the second to last pillar.
Unknown: I'm sorry if I surprised you out of nowhere.
Unknown: I'm the developer of this app. What do you think of it? I was hoping you would like it... I'm excited. Because you're the first one to come in, Wisteria! I was worried that no one would come in while I was making the app.
Wisteria: I'm not sure I'm made up my mind on my opinion just yet. This interface looks a simple so props for that concept. I guess I must have downloaded this without entirely reading through it. It's been one of those days. Though, I'm flattered the developer wanted to talk to me directly. Is there something that I can do for you?
Unknown: Oh! I'm so glad you asked! cuz there is a favor I want to ask of you. Though, it is kind of much to ask from a stranger. There is something I want you to help me with.
Wisteria: I guess I can. But I'm still a little wary. Sure!
Unknown: You already decided without hearing me out? My heart's fluttering... I'm so lucky that you came here. This app isn't just a messenger app, it's a game messenger app. I wanted to ask if you could test it.
Wisteria: Why you couldn't you test it yourself? Oh, are you so focused on putting it together that it's hard to look for bugs? I guess it would be easy to overlook something if you've been looking at it for a while. That happens to me sometimes when I'm drawing something and another opinion is always a good thing.
Unknown: You could say something like that I also think an outsider's opinion like yours would be a massive benefit to my game, though as well.
Wisteria: Hm. Well, I can't lie and say I'm busy because I'm not. What's the premise?
Unknown: This app... lets you chat with me but also good-looking AIs. I may be a good looking guy too. But that's for you to decide - The chats aren't everything. There are also hidden stories... Amusing stories that will stir your imagination. All you would need to do... is to play the game and tell me your honest opinion.
Unknown: These are the characters that come out of the game. They're not real people but characters created with AI. What do you think? Don't you think it will be fun?
If I had been holding my breath at that moment it broke past my lips into a gasp. That image! He had sent an image was of the... It was the original title screen of the game when it debuted in the app store! Somebody must have been playing a clever trick on me. Except... Nobody that I was close to knew that I had been spending a lot of time playing Otome games, be it Mystic Messenger on my phone or the few of them that were on my laptop. The only person that might have known about it was my Dad - given he was still around when I started playing in the hospital.
So that couldn't be the case. It was bizarre... yet, compelling. Even if it was some kind of joke, I felt like I should go along with it. Against the feeling in my stomach, once again, I decided to see what would happen if I were to agree to this. I didn't have anything to do except paint and submit my work to the publisher or the writer this week. If this was a joke or a game it would end soon if I just agreed with them.
Wisteria: Alright, sure, I'll help you out!
Unknown: Did you find a pretty face that you like on the poster? If so, you are genuinely fascinating lol
Unknown: I've studied hard to make this messenger game. I hope you enjoy it. I think it will be better if we talk over the phone about the details. Let's talk over the phone. Don't freak out when you see an unknown number pop up, okay?
Unknown has left the chatroom.
The chatroom fizzled into darkness and disappeared from my view.
What had just happened? It was like I was walking through a replica of the game model down to the letter! This was going to end with me looking up and seeing the crew from Punk'd despite it being off the air for more than a decade and a then phone was back to normal so I took what should have been the next few steps off the bridge to the path that would take me home but my feet didn't hit the dirt, they hit concrete instead. I spun around to look at the bridge behind me. It wasn't the same one that I had just stepped off of at all... and the strangest thing was, I thought I saw a stream along the fog that looked like something had warped the space around the bridge.
What I thought was my eyes playing tricks on me at first turned out to be something different entirely.
As the fog cleared up and the sun began to overtake the sky above me, that was when I knew that things weren't as they should have been with a new sense of clarity. This wasn't my neighborhood. These weren't the streets that I knew like the back of my hand. These buildings were just as ordinary as any old city would have but they weren't the ones that should've been here. Nothing was written in English either, the characters seemed familiar but I couldn't gauge them given my panic. I had walked a few blocks ahead to see if anything might have struck a nerve in my memory but it was no use. I could feel the anxiety and panic budding in the pit of my throat. This was not the ideal situation but I needed to stay calm.
I counted to ten... then took a deep breath. I looked at my phone and at whim, opened my Map app just to confirm the theory of my proximate location - the app surged to life and began to search for me, it dinged when it was finished and scrolled out to find my answer. I was... This wasn't home. I was somehow a million miles away from my home, in South Korea of all places. That's not how travel works. How I just traversed the seas and lands in a matter of seconds startled me to my very core.
My phone started to vibrate and I fumbled with it in my hands before pressing the answer button. My breathing was uneven but, I managed to squeak out a little bit in response. "H-Hello?" I asked.
"Hey, it's me, the one you were just chatting with." He said.
"...Unknown?" Were my hands shaking? Was my voice quivering? What was happening right now? I was at the park one moment now I wasn't sure I was in Kansas anymore, Toto. Korea, South Korea of all the places to somehow wind up. I wasn't registering the connection yet because my brain wasn't going... This wasn't my town. My mind was whirling around at a hundred miles an hour and I didn't know what to do. I needed to talk. What did I say? My nervous laugh escaped my lips. He said he would call, right? This is him. The guy pulling this ruse on me. "Oh. You told me not to be frightened but I have to admit the sudden call startled me."
"Yes, that's me. I hope I didn't startle you too much... Your voice sounds so cute over the phone, I can't wait to meet you in person." He paused for a moment. Unknown was someone that a lot of people didn't understand. Well, I could guess his motives and what he doing from what I knew about him from Seven's route but it wasn't enough. This game he was talking to me about wasn't a game, not if I was standing smack dap in the middle of South Korea right now. That was beyond reason and I was struggling to even know what to say to him to make this end well. I could gauge whom he was and how he got there, but why he was tricking me like this was beyond me. "As I said in the chatroom, I called you to explain this app. And I thought talking to you like this would make me sound more, credible. There's a tutorial in the game that can explain everything to the player but it's still being modified, you see... Do you remember those characters I showed you?"
Did I know them? Yes. The five members of Rika's Fundraising Association that were accessible when I played the game. Yoosung Kim, Jaehee Kang, Hyun "Zen" Ryu, Jumin Han, and Luciel "Seven" Choi. The whole point of the Otome was centered around those characters and they were the components of the game. But did he know that I did as far I knew? No. "I do," I said.
"Yeah, that image I sent you of the game consists of the characters that I've been developing. Those will your chatting partners... All five characters in the image are members of an association called the R.F.A." Unknown explained away his plans. He believed that this was a game that he had made, or was this some kind of ploy? These were real people, right? "R.F.A is a closed organization with the purpose of holding fundraising parties... You've been set as the party coordinator, in charge of inviting guests. Just think of it as you being the one in charge of choosing who attends the party."
His voice sounded very familiar. Although, I wasn't sure if Unknown was who I honestly assumed he was just yet. It could just be a coincidence. It couldn't be Saeran Choi, no, no, it couldn't be him and this was just some dream that I was having after a lousy night. I couldn't just gauge by his voice through my cell phone. I wouldn't know until my eyes were on him and I couldn't be sure that, that was a good option. I focused on talking about this game he was telling me about instead. "Whomever you invite as this coordinator will probably gain you more affection points with certain characters, right?" I said. "Though it would depend on how well you can pick up which answers are right and wrong."
"You pick up pretty quickly." There was a chuckle on the other end of the phone. "It would be pretty boring if all you had to do was just that, though, wouldn't you say? You will find out more of their secrets by chatting or calling with them. It would be faster to learn by playing it if I'm honest." So what did he want me to do? He wanted me to test his game that wasn't a game. These were real people with real problems and lives. That was the primary purpose of Mystic Messenger from my world. You play the game and solve the problems for a character. Unknown leading MC to Rika's apartment was the only scenario I was aware of that lead her to the RFA.
This wasn't like that.
I was somewhere that I didn't know the lay of the land and I had no way of finding my way back home. Mystic Messenger was set in South Korea and that was leagues away from where my home was. This wasn't what I knew. I couldn't exactly refuse what he was offering If I did, that might run the possibility of something worse then being on the streets of a country that I didn't entirely know. If I was really in this game right now than I could cause a bad ending by doing something wrong. That didn't leave much of an edge room to make any other answer than the one I had to. Was it possible this was a parallel reality to Mystic Messenger where Unknown was just trying to make a game? That would be too easy of a theory to believe in. Something was going on right now that I couldn't be sure of. His intentions have to be similar to the regular story...? He wants me to get the RFA on my side, so they could be lured to Mint Eye one by one for his savior... Rika.
How would I be able to do this, under the guise of an Otome?
It didn't entirely make sense given what I know.
I had no choice but I decided that I would stick with it.
My silence might have left him nervous about what I was planning - but I brought myself out of my head and gave him my answer. "Sure, alright, I'll do it for you. You've been nothing but polite to me so far. I see no harm in doing something that might help you feel better." Was I going to be in trouble if I went along with him? My memory of the sad endings flashed in my head. He wasn't a bad person, but he had been twisted into something by someone who wanted him to be a pretty pawn. We had that in common. But he was my only choice given my situation. I didn't know where else to turn to but to him now, hopefully, it wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass.
"Thanks! I was worried you would refuse." His cheery response caught me off guard. I didn't remember Unknown coming off like this... He was supposed to brash and calculated. He didn't put up the pleasantries because that was too much effort for him. Unknown seemed different than the one that I had come to know playing the game. "Right, but the game hasn't been released yet and it cannot be revealed to the market. So, to perform the tests, you have to come over here." He said.
Come here? He couldn't mean what I thought. Was he intending to bring me straight to Mint Eye?
"Where's here...?" I asked him.
"You probably won't know even if I told you. It's in the mountains and hard to see from Maps. To maintain confidentiality before the release, it's being developed in a sparsely populated area... Of course, you don't have to come here by yourself if it's too troublesome. I'll send a car over to you if you tell me your address. You could hop onto that and head this way." Well, that answered that question. This was the kind of thing that your mother and father would tell you never to do when you're talking with strangers. It wasn't like I could get his location and head there myself.
I doubted that that sort of liberty was ahead of me. "You're not ridiculing my sense of direction, are you Mr. Unknown? I'm competent, you know. I'm sure I could find my way around."
"Oh, of course not! It would be easier for you is all I'm saying, and it keeps everything tied to the game confidential." Unknown was quick to reassure me of this. "This just saves you some headache, Wisteria."
"Well, I guess if you put it that way. How - How can I refuse?" I gave him the address. I knew my hands were shaking now, I was aware that this was becoming too real for me. If I was going to find out how I got here and understand the situation at hand - It meant that I was going to have to throw myself into the unknown. That meant standing in a place where the root of unrest and fear lived ahead. There was a trickling fear crawling up my back and I wanted desperately for him to take it all back.
"I'll send a car there right now. Please be there. Keep in mind that the road there is confidential, so just do as I tell you and it'll be alright. I should hang up now. I need to get ready." He hung up.
"Wait, tell me this was just a prank!" I cried out, at last, the dull end of the other line of the call was silent.
Unknown wasn't going to answer me. This wasn't a joke anymore, I wasn't playing a game, this was real. I was living and breathing this game now. The morning air seemed thick, just as thick in the bile in my throat. I was left with my thoughts and the jarring realization that I didn't know what was to expect ahead. What had I just gotten myself into? I signed myself to the devil more or less, in a country that wasn't my own and a fear that I knew too well. This city surrounding me wasn't familiar to me and what was worse was the colors of this city seemed muted, not as lively as it should have been. At first, I thought it was my eyes adjusting to the sun once again... But, I now realized this wasn't normal.
I rubbed my eyes.
Everything was blocky, and in a sense, two dimensional. Why was that? The streets were barren for this time of day and I wouldn't be able to confirm my growing thought until the car arrived. My theory was confirmed when a driver appeared a half an hour later, with a blindfold in tow and the appearance of a two-dimensional person.
The driver drove for a period that I couldn't gauge, the roads twisted and turned so much that I would never have had a chance to make a mental map of the roadway if I wanted to do it. It was well outside of the residential area that I had once been in. It was at least an hour away from anything at most - no wonder it took so long for anyone to find out what they were running here. This was somewhere out of the way and out of sight of the average person. "We have arrived." The driver informed me when the car finally went silent and died down and was swallowed by the noise of nature. "You'll need to wait here for a moment, and place the mask back on." I did as I was instructed to do.
It was a few minutes before the driver spoke up once more: "Mr. Ray has arrived." The door opened to my right. "Welcome. I've been waiting. Welcome to this wonderful place. It wouldn't have been an easy decision to come here... Thanks for trusting me."
It wasn't that I trusted him - this was the only thing that I could accept at the moment. I knew better than to say his name, his actual name if it were him, instead, I opted for: "Unknown?"
He seemed to be pleased that I could it was him. "You knew who I was just by listening to the sound of my voice?" He laughed that off. It was the voice that I knew it to be from my time listening to him in the game. There was little no doubt left in my mind that this was him. "Yeah. It's me, username Unknown. Didn't you think Unknown was a funny name? It was a default option because I didn't set up a username in the first place. No special meaning. My name is Ray. Thank you for coming all this way."
"I wanted to show you around," He continued. "I prepped up this and that while waiting for you." Show me around? This was news to me. The Unknown that I knew didn't play around like this. He wouldn't have asked he would have just done it. My fingers lingered against the edge of the mask. I wanted desperately to confirm his identity - the voice wasn't enough for me to accept my situation - I wanted to be entirely sure that this was real. "Oh, don't take off the mask just yet. You can't take it off until you reach your room." He said.
"My room?" I echoed him. I wasn't entirely sure what to make of that. That meant that there was somewhere in this place that I wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. He seemed intrigued by how well I was playing into this on the surface. "Yes, I prepared a comfortable space for you while you're here... I mean, while you're testing you have to stay here. I was worried though since I didn't know what you liked... I hope you'll like it." He said. "I'll hold your hand on the way down from the car."
I took his hand. "Thank you."
"Oh, no thank you. You are doing what I tell you to do." Ray said. Something about that kind of praise didn't make me good. He leads the way into the building and I stayed close by his side. Ray, as he told me, didn't say much at first until we had been walking for a while around the jungle that was this massive building. This was no different than the roadways that lead to this place. You couldn't try to know how you were turning if you wanted to do it. An escape plan wouldn't be possible yet. "You have no idea what a relief it was when you said you'll help. What a relief, thanks to you. You'll be a big help."
I looked in his general location. "Well, you didn't give me any reason not to trust you," I told him even if it was only half sincere. "You seem like a nice guy, I honestly don't mind helping you if it means it'll do you some good." It was better to be on his right side. I didn't know how to predict his movements - I liked Saeran, as much as I liked anyone in the RFA, but I wasn't sure what to expect from him when I wasn't trapped in Rika's apartment. Everyone was hurting to some degree and I couldn't bring myself to be with ill thoughts. He was acting so pleasant and cheery compared to the twisted persona he had garnered from this place.
This response seemed to be good enough. "That's very kind of you," Ray said. "I'll do my best to make you happy while you're here for your diligence." He stopped in his tracks right then as his footsteps died down "Oh. We're here, come I'll remove your blindfold." My eyes readjusted to the light and he came into focus at last in my vision. It was Saeran, it was him. Why was he referring to himself as Ray now? Was it just another alias? He was dressed much differently as well, the tailored coat was bright and he was looking at me with green eyes filled with hope.
"This would be our first time seeing each other face to face, right?" He was smiling. It wouldn't be for me, I thought. This was my first time seeing him in a light different than the dark demeanor and look he had as Unknown, the sole hacker against the RFA. Ray was much softer in appearance somehow - Ray wore a magenta overcoat over a grey vest and white button-up, a striking blue flower was pinned to the lapel of his overcoat. It was a change to the leather and ripped clothes. If he noticed any hesitation in me, I couldn't be sure.
"I suppose it is." I murmured when I found the use of my voice. His character was one that had a lot of struggle. I could relate to his pain on many levels but seeing him in the flesh made me very... wary. It wasn't a good idea to trust someone who lied to you like this. I did want to like him. I just needed to think clearly as I moved forward. "It's nice to put a name to a face."
He returned that with a solid nod of his head, Ray gestured around the room where we were. I just noticed the environment for the first time. This was the kind of room that walked out of a princess fantasy. It was impressive at its grand scale and I had to give them credit for keeping up with the theme like they did. "This is your room. I did my best to prepare everything in here to your liking... still, let me know of any inconvenience. You have full access to this floor of our headquarters, but you'll have to let me know before you go anywhere else. The reason... you know why, right?"
"Because it's strictly confidential like you said," I echoed his words from earlier. "Right?"
"Correct. You have a great memory... I don't hate smart people. I get the feeling you'll pull this off quite well." He said. There was something in his tone that left me feeling like there was more to this then he let on. If the RFA truly were real as Ray was, what did that mean for me? "We still have some time left, I'll explain a bit about the game. As I mentioned before, the purpose of the game is to hold a party with the RFA. All of the characters are the AIs that I have designed. There's one problem as I've tried to make it super realistic with the AIs."
Super-realistic? Was he just trying to downplay how they were really... real people? "They aren't self-aware, are they? That would be a concerning bug to deal with." I cocked my head to the side. "Science hasn't exactly figured out how to perfect them just yet so if you cracked the code, color me impressed, Ray."
He had a small chuckle escape him at my inquiry. "Aha... it's not like that per say. The AIs become just super suspicious when a new person comes in. Your concept is that someone hacked into your messenger and that's how you got into the RFA messenger. Quite suspicious, isn't it?"
I pursed my lips. "Oh. Yeah, that would be cause for alarm."
"Exactly. That's the setting of the game, it's not fun when everyone likes you from the start, is it?" Ray nodded, clearly pleased with my assumption. "They'll ask you about this hacker, of course. But you can't answer them because you know nothing. They will try to pry information out of you though, like your location and this hacker, and they might even try to get information about the creator, me." He continued. "At that, you can't reveal the truth. You must keep the secret until the end. Can you promise me that you won't reveal what we've been talking about to the AIs?"
"It would be game-over otherwise, right?" That look in his eyes told me my answer. "I'll do my best, Ray. That's all I can promise." I told him.
I wasn't entirely sure that I was going to able to keep that promise, however, I would be doing my best for everyone.
"Thanks! I'm so happy that you're so cooperative! Meeting you might have been... fate. Just remember to avoid a game-over, okay? Everything up until now is a secret, and who I am, the fact that they're AIs is a secret too. Be careful, if the game goes through a forced shut-down, you have to start all over again from the beginning. Slight differences are depending on how you talk to them... but even if they don't accept you from that, just tell them: Someone called Rika sent me to hold the party."
"Rika, huh?"
The savior of this place.
"She's a character. The other characters will tell you what kind of character she is, but simply put, she's the one who founded the group in the game. And as I mentioned over the phone, your role in the game is the party coordinator. Depending on how you talk to those potential guests means whether they will attend or decline." He nodded his head. The run-around he was giving me had my head spinning. It was like he was trying to drill the information into my skull over and over to make sure that I understood him. "The number of party guests is also dependent on whether or not a good end is reached, right?" I asked.
That was how it worked, after all.
He nodded his head, pleased. "That's a good guess. It'll spoil the fun if I tell you in advance, if you wanna find out, you'll have to play. Inviting the guests is crucial, try to invite them with whole-heartedly. Don't forget that there will also be interesting events beside the party, within the RFA itself, depending on the choices that you make. You'll have to tell me what you think as you play... even the smallest things are okay. Tell me everything, how the party went, what those characters said to you... That way, I'll know how well the game is going... Your role is important."
I nodded my head and reaffirmed my words. "You can count on me."
My gut told me if I didn't do what they asked I would be in trouble.
"You're very confident! I'm also getting more confident thanks to you. I'll work even harder making his app. It was worth waiting for a tester." That last comment seemed to be more for himself than for me. He outstretched his hand towards me with a lift of his right hand. "Here, hand me your phone, I'll add the app for you."
"Here." I lifted the gadget from my bag and into his waiting hands.
"Thanks, it will only take a few minutes!"
I was being used for something.
Rika's sick little game with her former organization couldn't be stopped quickly.
"Do you have any more questions about the game?" He asked.
There was something I was curious about. "I'm a little more interested to learn about you, Ray." I inquired. "I mean, this is your creation after all. The more I know about you the more that I can understand your game and give you feedback worth listening to, you know." The more that I understood about him the more natural it might have been for me to understand my environment. What was going on in Magenta? What year was it? What was the RFA going through if Saeran was like this? The boy in front of me was much softer than the Unknown I knew. As we looked into each other's eyes, I could see something in them that I often held.
Ray seemed startled by the admission. "Me? Hahaha... You're more interesting then I thought. Though I'm not a character inside of the game. I've always dreamed of someone who's a good listener to what I say. My voice is quite small... Most people don't seem to listen very well. Oh, I know I keep emphasizing this but... don't forget to keep the secret, alright? Don't ever... try to get game over easily, promise me that, please?"
"Of course." I didn't want to face something grim.
He handed my phone back to me with a smile. "Thanks a lot! I want to talk to you some more, but I have to get going now, Wisteria. I want you to give it your best, party coordinator." Ray made the move to head to the door after this. I turned around to watch him take a few steps towards the door and when his hand touched the knob - the words left my lips before I could stop myself.
"Wait."
He didn't move.
"My name isn't Wisteria."
"Oh?" Ray was staring at me from the corner of his vision, he didn't say much else when I spoke. I'm sure he had his theories if he hadn't found out already by going through my phone. "Is that so?"
"It's not safe to give out your name over the internet so easily you know. That's why people use usernames in the first place, sometimes you chose something you like other times you just let the default stick as you did with Unknown." That was a layer of protection, be it chosen or not. Nobody wanted everyone to know who they were, it was easier to pretend. I wanted to trust Ray because I knew he could be good. Anybody else with the right mind would have refused him and called the police about the operation. That was the realistic option. But if I dropped the line and did that would it solve the problem of me being a different country by myself? How would I know that that was going to do it? Even if I said no to him in the first place, was somebody watching me while I was on the phone with Ray? Would they have gotten me if I didn't?
What was even a stronger thought was: I couldn't be sure that I even existed in this reality. There was a massive possibility that any attempts at searching for me would be filled with confusion and endless error screens. If nobody knew I existed here, then there wasn't a chance of getting out of the situation unscathed. I didn't have any records. No one could come looking for me. I guess it didn't matter if I gave my name or not. The only traces of who I was were with me. It wouldn't hurt me if Ray at least knew my first name.
"Is there a reason why you chose that one?" Ray asked, breaking my train of thought.
"I guess you could say that, or it could no different than how you accepted Unknown as yours," I said. "It's just one of those things you learn the truth of after you've been friends for a while." I wasn't sure why I felt compelled to be honest with him. Somewhere inside of me, I knew that Saeran wasn't intentionally a villain in this story, he had been coerced and deceived by Rika for a long time and it took its toll and twisted him into someone he was not. I wanted to trust him, or maybe I just wanted him to trust me. "And - And if we're going to working together from now on, then, then I would like us to be friends someday."
I lifted my head and looked at him. "It's Lila."
"Lila, huh?" With those words in his mind, he exited the room and went back to who knows where in the building. This was different then the Mystic Messenger I had been playing, the last route I had completed was Seven - It had seemed to be the route that explained everything and cleared up all the answers that we learned along the way in the other routes with the RFA members.
The fact that I was standing here meant there had to be something more to the game or this was some kind of alternate universe. The moment Saeran- no, Ray left me to my thoughts was the first moment that I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I had to do a double take on my reflection. "It's me...?" I raised my hand to the mirror - my fingertips brushing against the edge of the cold glass. It looked like me, but at the same time, it didn't seem like it was me. It was as if I were me, but I wasn't me.
As if it wasn't jarring enough to my vision for the world to appear two dimensional- it appeared as though I had been changed to match my surroundings. My eyes and hair were the same color as always, brown as always. My features were much more subtle here, I almost wasn't sure this was me. I was wearing the same dress that I had on when I left my house this morning, my hair was tucked back with the black bow I always pulled it in when I wanted it out of my face and a reassuring pinch lets me know this was more than mere fantasy. My figure was as thin as it had become... I knew underneath my clothes there was the body I hated and yet it still belonged to me. It was like I had become a drawing in my own notebooks and not in a good way. My heart pounded in my chest at a resounding rate.
"It is me."
My phone went off in my hand. I lifted it into view and saw the notification alerting me to an open chatroom that I could enter. That meant that my game had officially begun.
Wisteria has entered the chatroom.
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abdicatedarchive · 3 years
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the bet || rose and marina
𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: marina’s dorm room // before valentines day.
𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: rose x marina.
𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: none
𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: the hollingsworth girls make a bet to swear off any crushes or flirty behavior. 
Rose was hanging out on her sister's bed after another hook up didn't work out, "I just think I need to give up at this rate. He got soooooo clingy. He called me one morning, like called me on the phone instead of just a text. Which I thought would make him better than the guy who never texted me, but it was very annoying turns out" she rambled. Rose opened up her snapchat and was talking to people, "Hey will you pluck my eyebrows for me?" she asked, "and also tell me of your latest conquests to distract me?" Rose needed a distraction, and to be honest she needed to take a break from hopping from person to person. It was time to actually slow down. 
Marina turned over to her sister as she listened to her story, "Hey, there's no reason to completely give up. I'm sure you'll find someone great." was kind of her go-to response at this point. The Hollingsworth girls were having a bit of bad luck when it came to their love lives. They tried and tried, but nothing ever seemed to work out. Sometimes Marina just wanted to give up too, but just like Rose, she'd get the smallest amount of attention and then she'd be back in the game. "Yeah, of course." she said as she hopped out of her bed and got everything she needed to do her sister's brows. Once Marina got back to the bed, she laid her sister's head on her lap and wiped around her brows for preparation. "Mine sucked, as usual." she pouted. "When we were finished, I went to the bathroom. The moment I came back, he was gone, and I kid you not, he used on of my sticky notes and wrote 'that was fun, hmu' and left his number on it."
"Part of me just wants to see how long I can go without ruining someone's life. It's been fun, but I keep hurting people. There are so many boys who are never going to get over me" Rose joked. There were some pining people along the way, but the majority it was just time to cut their losses. "For real though, jokes aside about how I'm an evil temptress that no one can say no to. I can't think of a week where I haven't had a crush or someone to date since sophomore year of High School. My success ratio sucks" she rambled on. Rosemary laid her head back on her sister's lap and listened to her talk about her love life. "Oh my god, that is so trash" she responded, annoyed on her sister's behalf. "Anyone who doesn't stay for cuddling is the spawn of satan, for real." Rose rolled her eyes. "I say we make a bet, whoever goes longer without catching feelings, having a crush, or kissing someone wins" Rose taunted the idea of a friendly sister competition. Neither of them liked to lose, "And don't even think about having sex with no kissing and no feelings, that is totally cheating and I already thought of it."
"Being the best can be a flaw at times, we just have that effect on people. We can't help it." Marina continued to joke along. "Another flaw of ours? Sometimes we catch feelings for shitty people." she pointed out. Marina hadn't been in too many relationships, but that was mainly because it would never get that far. She always seemed like a distraction or fill-in for the other person until they got what they really wanted. She was never the one. Marina nodded in agreement with Rose as she picked up her tweezers and began to meticulously pluck away. "Right? And he used one of my good journaling pens. Disgostang!" she said in an accent, she knew her sister would understand the reference. As she listened to Rose's proposition, Marina was already looking for some kind of loophole. Well, she hasn't mentioned sex. she thought to herself, until Rose mentioned sex. Damn. "Psh, I play fair." she said, unable to hold back her smile. "Okay, you're on." she said with a single nod. Both girls had always been super competitive, so bets like this were always fun. "Just for funsies? Or will there be consequences for the loser?"
Rosemary respected the dig on her previous boyfriends. Honestly they had scarred her enough to not seriously date again since. Her sister began to pluck her eyebrows, Rose only wincing from time to time. "The good pens? Disgostang!!!" she echoed back, using the same voice. The girls did love their viral video references. "Play fair? You have never played fair in your entire life" said Rose giving her a look. "Oh it's so on. Bring it" she said, referencing some of their favorite movies. The thing about the two girls was ... winning was definitely enough of an award, but she couldn't think of the punishment for losing. "I guess our usual agreements. The winner just gets to hold it over the other's head for the rest of their life" said Rosemary. The shame of losing would be enough to keep her from doing anything. "Unless you want to pick what you, Marina Hollingsworth, have to do when you lose" Rosemary taunted, the competitive drive filling up the gaping hole that looking for love had left.
Marina would take small breaks in between the tweezing so it wasn't too overwhelming. "I just play to win." she corrected Rose with a proud smile on her face. They were both raised with the mindset of being the absolute best. Sometimes playing fair wasn't enough. Winning was the only option. She nodded her head as she listened to Rose about what the winner got. It's usually how their little competitions went. Winning was a prize in itself while loosing was a big enough consequence. She raised a brow at Rose and flicked her nose softly, "Watching you lose is good enough for me." she said with a smirk. Marina wasn't exactly thinking about how hard this would be for her, she would realize that later. "If I come up with a good consequence for you, I'll let you know." she teased Rose. "Guess we're gonna have a very uneventful Valentines this year..." she said, realizing that they were making the bet literally the day before Valentines day. The timing was quite unfortunate.
"I also play to win, seems like this will be fair enough. You are the best competition I've ever had, may the best Hollingsworth win" said the girl, with a slick smile forming on her face. She was ready to do whatever it took, Rose was willing to turn down her next great love for the sake of competition. She let out a laugh when Marina said that watching her lose would be enough of a victory. "Oh yeah this is really shitty timing, but it's not like we want to do anything depraved for the holiday. We can't be those desperate frosh who will hop on anything that moves because it's V-day" Rose said, making an excellent point for herself. She didn't want to be embarrassing and make a bad reputation for herself in front of the upperclassmen.
"Back at ya sis." Marina nodded, referring to the fact that Rose was her best competition. It's why making bets with her was so fun, it was a real challenge. She knew she'd have to really work for this win, who knew how long this was going to last? Marina surely didn't know, but she was prepared. "See I was thinking of it more as everyone else would be swarming us to be their Valentines." she laughed after speaking. Marina definitely cared less about her reputation when she had came back from Mexico. Though it had been a few years since then, she still hadn't dealt with everything in a healthy way. She continued to lash out and make poor decisions. If anything, being in college made that a lot easier since her mother wasn't around to yell at her. "We can spend the day together. Get a bunch of candy, watch some romcoms. It'll be great."
Rosemary opened her phone and was about to delete her dating apps in front of her sister. She knew better than to give Marina any tips or tricks from her book. Rose would do it when she got back to her own room, hopefully Marina would get a notification she couldn't ignore. Or Rose could use her romantic energy to keep putting people in Marina's line of sight, that would be a good idea. Her sister finished her brows and Rose sat up, "That would be so much fun, I'll buy the candy. It'll be a Hollingsworth party for sure. I wish Maximo was here, his text about his present for his new boy was so cute" said Rose, still obsessing about love. She was just such a romantic at heart.
"Nice! I have my list of romcoms on my letterboxd, I have all our favs on there." Marina grabbed her phone and went on the app, she loved making her lists for no reason. It was a nice pastime for her. As she was looking for the list, Marina was thinking of all the different ways she could spin this bet around in her favor. The thing about Rose and Marina was that they were hard workers, but when they competed against each other, they always got a little sneaky. "Wasn't it?" she looked at her sister with a big smile, already cracking a bit. "I'm so happy for him. They're the cutest!" Marina's smiled faded and shook her head once she caught herself already gushing about love, "I mean... ew romance. That's gross. Don't need it, don't want it."
"Ah the list" said Rosemary smiling, Marina was always good for a list of things. It made deciding what they were going to do so much easier, they never really had to worry about not having any ideas. "Yeah, romance is disgusting. I honestly have never wanted to make out with people less, hand holding? I would genuinely never. Sex is so out of mind, I don't think I even remember how to do it" she rambled on, matching her sister's sarcastic tone. This was going to be an interesting game for sure. She wondered which one of them would actually break first. Next party, she was definitely going to get into some boy's head about how they wanted to make a move on Marina. That would get her for sure.
"Yeaaaah. Grody." Marina spaced out for a moment as she was deep in thought. Her last time having sex didn't even end on a high note. This was truly unfortunate. But she wasn't going to break, she was strong. She made a mental note to squeeze in some you're-a-winner-that-doesn't-need-romance pep talks into her morning routine. "Ooooh, you know what? I totally did gas you up to somebody in my class. They're really cute too. They said they'd hit you up at the next party." she said with an innocent smile. "Warning, he is a bass player. But a pretty one, that really likes Star Wars. I decided, out of the kindness of my heart, to pass him over to you." she let out a dramatic sigh. "Oh well now."
Rose contemplated her last encounter, and wished she hadn't wasted it on the boy she did. But then again, she probably wouldn't have made the bet if she was having a good time doing what she was doing. It was a well needed break for both of them. "Oh that's so unfortunate. To give you some lovely feedback, I thank you for your selflessness and giving spirit for donating said musician who likes Star Wars to me. He sounds lovely, but in my new sex free mindset that I fully and totally embody ... I am not even thinking about how bassists are really good with their fingers. Not even a bit" she said giving her sister the blankest look of all time, her brow arching exemplifying the fact that she was up for the challenge. "You know it's funny, I saw Chase on the quad the other day with Jonah ... I wonder if you two will have to kiss to save society again in your larping group. It would be a shame if I told ... perhaps Steven that that would be an excellent plot" said Rose moving her hair behind her shoulder and letting a smirk form on her face. The girls did play dirty, but the whole point of the bet was that no one got to play dirty in the way that they preferred.
Marina looked over at her sister, innocently smiling at her, "I'm glad you're staying strong. But don't worry, I'm sure this, or more specifically you, won't last too long. I bet he'll be waiting for you." she said, playfully messing with her sister. If there was one thing Marina knew, it was that this bet would most likely take a while. Marina thought about telling Rose that larp kisses were not real kisses. That's what she always told herself, anyways. But she held back from brining that up. It would make her look like she was going to go off and start kissing Chase during their larping sessions because those wouldn't count. Marina had willpower though, and there was no need to do anything with Chase. That was old news. "Our society is doing great actually, so there's no need for kisses. But I will be warning the groupchat about you. Steven will not be my downfall." she shook her head as she went and texted them immediately. Warning: Rosemary Hollingsworth is dangerous territory right now. Any shady deals being made behind my back will have severe consequences!
Rose messed back, "I do love to make someone wait." It was going to take every fiber of self control she had, but mostly her competitive edge. To be fair, she didn't have much self control to begin with ... but pride? There was an abundance of it. "I think Steven most definitely will be your downfall, he's just so easy" Rose teased, the boy had always been asking questions about her. It would be almost too easy to get into his head, and where was the fun in that? "I think that the only exception to the rules should be some sort of soulmate clause. And the only way out is you have to marry them essentially, no exceptions to that. The second you break up you're a loser again, no pity" said Rosemary, laughing a little at the idea. There was no way that would actually happen, but as an added precaution she wanted to put that in there. Knowing the two of them, they could do bets for years. It was the only thing that made her nervous.
"I may have to lightly threaten him then. If anyone's gonna fuck shit up for me, it's me." Marina stated as she pointed to herself. That's usually how things went with her anyways. She was her own worst enemy. Hearing what Rose said afterwards made Marina laugh along with her. "Is there really any soulmate potential here?" she asked in between her laughter. "I haven't gotten that feeling since like, high school?" she said, but didn't sound too sure. Marina would always hope for the best when she would find someone new, but she couldn't think of anyone here that had given her that deep feeling of love. "Knowing us, we'd marry that person just to make sure we don't lose." she said jokingly, it was pretty funny to think about. Sad, but funny.
"I mean that is the way to live. If anyone is going to fuck shit up for me, it's going to be me as well" said the girl, laughing in agreement. It was scary sometimes how they were the same on so many things. "I hope not, I have a bet to win" she said, letting a giggle out again. She honestly couldn't imagine herself growing old with someone she met here. It would be nice to meet your soulmate in college, but knowing her family ... it felt like something that came later in life when you really knew who you were and what you wanted. "I haven't had that feeling since I dated the devil incarnate" Rosemary said with a sigh, not wanting to think of him so close to Valentines. It had been two years, but it still wasn't enough time. "Oh 100%, and cold feet would not be permitted" she said, changing topics. It was hard to think about him still. The damage he had done to her.
Marina stayed silent when Rose mentioned her ex. They both had very different experiences with their high school loves. Marina was the problem in her situation, and though things got better with Antonio, they decided to break things off while they were in different schools. Sometimes she'd try texting him but would back out because one, she was too scared, but two, she wanted him to have a fun time where he was at. She was pretty relieved that Rose completely ended that relationship in high school. Her sister deserved so much more, but Marina knew not to bring him up. "Definitely." she nodded in agreement to the last statement. "Well my lab partner was just telling me about a party tonight. We could always see just how strong we are. You up for it?" she asked with a small grin.
She smiled, "That is an excellent question, only if you're up for peak hotness this evening. And by peak hotness I mean that our outfits should go together and you should do my makeup. That way we can tell a lot of strangers that we're twins and then they're going to get all fumbly with their words" said the girl as she flashed her teeth at her sister. Sure they weren't blood, but with their birthdays being the same and them being sisters ... it was a lot of fun to fuck with people. "The other option is that we put on old people FX makeup so that no one is tempted, except the creeps" she said, laughing a little to herself. That would also be fun, but she'd prefer to have a cute picture for the gram with her sister.
Marina laughed and shook her head to the second option, "Fun choice, but we'll save that one for a rainy day. Old people FX makeup is harder than I thought." she told her sister. Marina had only delved into FX makeup in the past year. Ever since she started cosplaying, she wanted to give it a try, but she never knew where to start. She hopped out of the bed and ran over to look at which outfits they could choose from. "This is always a good option." she said, holding out a short dress. "Or this one?" she asked as she showed Rose the two piece set. "I know you have cute outfits that match either one."
And things were back to normal, of course the Hollingsworth girls were still going to have fun. They were the Hollingsworth girls. Just because they couldn't get boys ... or girl's attention didn't mean that they couldn't have a good time. "I have something that will go with the two piece I'm sure of it" said the girl as she looked at the outfits. "How are we so excellent? We really are the best of the best" she said to her sister and stuck her tongue out.
"The best of the best." Marina stated confidently as she put the dress back. She was excited to have a fun night with Rose, there was never a dull moment when they were together. "I actually have the perfect look I could do on us that'll match our outfits." she said excitedly before they got ready for the party. "Tonight's going to be great!" //END
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daleisgreat · 4 years
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20 Years of PS2: Flashback Special
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October 26th this year marked the 20th anniversary of the North American launch of the PlayStation 2 (PS2) and I am ready to commemorate it with another flashback special recounting my highlighted highs and lows with the system since its launch. Like with my previous console retrospectives I have un-vaulted a few of my older podcast episodes focused on the PS2 and uploaded them to YouTube that you can check out embedded at the bottom of this piece for your listening pleasure. One of those episodes was recorded around the then-10th anniversary of the PS2 in 2010 where we brought on two hosts from the PSnation podcast and we waxed nostalgic for three hours about our favorite PS2 games and memories. The episode proved to be our most downloaded ever to the point we had to purchase more web server space to handle the downloads. Now I think the best way to start off this special on the PS2 would be to remember that leading up to its October 26th, 2000 launch, that it was impossible to ignore….. ….The Hype The PS2 was the first Sony console I purchased. I never owned a PSone because our family opted with the N64 (of which I have no regrets and many great memories of), and by the time I got my first job a decent way into 1999 where I could afford a system with my own income, it was either heavily speculated at that point or confirmed the PS2 would be backwards compatible with PSone games. This was a big deal learning of this in 1999. Up until that point in America, backwards compatibility only hit consoles (excluding handhelds) in small waves with the limited Master System library working on the Genesis with an adaptor, and the under-performing Atari 7800 having back-compat built inside the hardware so it could play 2600 games. So for having the mega-successful PSone library being guaranteed to work on the PS2 on launch day sold me on saving my money on a PSone system and waiting for the PS2.
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The other big selling point for the PS2 was that it would be the first game console in America to support DVD movies. DVD players first started hitting in America in 1997, but it was a very slow growth process for them because they remained at a high price point their first few years on the market, and VHS tapes were exponentially cheaper. For you younger kids growing up with streaming tech, I feel obligated to say how big a deal was that PS2 was able to play DVDs. When I first saw what DVDs could do in 1999 at a friend’s place I was blown away with no longer having to rewind tapes, being able to pick certain scenes to jump to, interactive menus, extra bonus features and the big jump in picture quality. This is also why Dominic Toretto and his motley crew were hijacking semis in the first Fast & Furious film in 2001 for their precious DVD player cargo. With the PS2 being able to play PSone games, having guaranteed third party support from most of the PSone game publishers, being able to play audio CDs (which were still a major seller in 2000) and DVDs all for the launch price of $299 made the system garner mammoth hype leading up to the October 26, 2000 launch. The Launch After instantly getting sold on DVDs at my friend’s place in 1999, I started to collect some of my favorite movies on DVD leading up to the PS2’s launch and by launch day I believe I had roughly a dozen movies already with some of my then-recent favorite films at the time like Fight Club, Go and Detroit Rock City being early DVD favorites. The console was the first game product I remember our local Software Etc. offering to pre-order, and I was able to pre-order early enough to confirm a system for me at launch, which was a relief after hearing how Sony announced shortly before the launch they would be reducing the amount of systems available at launch by half from one million to 500,000. I pestered a co-worker at the time, Troy, a couple months before launch if he would be able give me a ride to the store that day to pick it up since the store was opening early before school started and he gave me his word. I thought it was not going to happen when he quit where I worked a few weeks before the launch, but somehow I was able to figure out where his next job was at and called him up at his other job a couple days before the PS2 launch to see if he would still honor his word and he assured me so. I showed Troy many thanks by covering breakfast for him that morning!
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22 games launched with the PS2, and despite the variety, there was never a ‘killer app’ on the PS2’s launch. Despite Sony being a powerhouse of a first party publisher on the PSone, they only had one game available for the PS2 at launch with the puzzle game, Fantavision. I have always felt the PS2 launch got an unfair look over the years, as indicated in this AV Club piece. While there was never one end-all-be-all game, there were still plenty of solid ‘fans of the genre’ titles in my opinion. Racing game fans were covered with Ridge Racer V, the original Midnight Club and MotoGP. Over the years I became a fan of the three launch PS2 tag-focused fighting games Street Fighter EX3, Dead or Alive 2: Hardcore and especially putting a ton of time into the first Tekken Tag Tournament. FPS fans had a solid port of Unreal Tournament, and the heavily anticipated TimeSplitters with the gaming press at the time hyping it up to be the GoldenEye-killer since a fair amount of the development team worked on that hit FPS title. EA Sports had their latest NHL and Madden entries at launch, and the first game under their “EA Sports BIG” label with the original SSX. I think it is forgotten at that time the gaming mags and early online gaming press outlets heralding SSX as the surprise best original game out of the PS2 launch. For myself all I wanted was TimeSplitters and Madden NFL 2001. I knew my friend and former podcast co-host, Chris would be picking up TimeSplitters, so I stuck with Madden and a memory card for my pre-orders. Troy and I got there an hour before the store opened, and only one other person was ahead of us in line, so we were in and out of there in a breeze….only after the store manager jipped me out of a memory card I pre-ordered because there was a shortage on those too, but apparently the manager got first priority on the several she pre-ordered and offered to sell me one outside the store. I asked if it would be for MSRP, and she just gave me a knowing grin, and I was not having any of that and said no thanks and was fine waiting for their call when their next shipment of memory cards arrived (which was only about a week later, and for Madden it was not that much to get worked up over).
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Those first few months of the PS2 launch from late 2000 into early 2001 were a memorable time during my senior year of high school. I played a plethora of Madden NFL 2001 against my neighbor friend Rich, and my brother-in-law, Shawn. I watched the hell out of those first dozen DVDs and threw in a few random PSone games I picked up too. Chris picked up several PS2 games at launch and for about two weekends a month I met up with him and the two primary games we played were TimeSplitters and Tekken Tag. The original TimeSplitters blew us away with its customization options for FPS multiplayer with being able to play against a huge variety of bots and in-depth level creation editors. We would create a map where we started in a room with all the ammo and weapon pickups, and a sea of mindless bots would march down a lengthy hallway to enter a room where we would be anticipating their entrance so they could rush into a hasty demise. I totally devoured Tekken Tag with Chris and got into its roster of characters and tag-style fighting, and especially its five star bowling mini-game, Tekken Bowl. Chris’s family had access to purchase bulk boxes of those rectangular bricks of school cafeteria pizza, and I have nostalgic memories putting away that delicious pizza while consuming the PS2 launch window games. Early-through-Summer 2001: My First Apartment Three Blocks Away From a Blockbuster Video As the months wore on after the launch window, the only early 2001 game I really enjoyed was the PS2 port of Quake III, even with its ridiculous loading times! For not having a powerhouse PC at that time, it was a fun alternative to experience the deathmatch chaos that was dominating the PC scene at the time. In the spring I got Onimusha: Warlords, and while I was digging the samurai/zombie action, the Capcom tank controls eventually got the best of me and I had to step away from it after a few hours. It was not until well into the summer of 2001 that I started experimenting more with the PS2 library when I got my first apartment with my friend Matt. We lived a few blocks away from a Blockbuster Video and so we made frequent trips there on weekends chancing random games that popped out to us. We did not have a computer at our place, and the high-speed Internet era was about another year or two from catching on, so that was one of the last years you could really just chance a game by going by the box and from whatever was available in print at the time.
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Capcom debuted two classic single player franchises in the first year of the PS2 in the forms of Devil May Cry (left) and Onimusha: Warlords (right) We rented plenty of stuff throughout the remainder of 2001. Some titles like the quirky action/adventure game, Okage, was decent, but nothing remarkable. Others we ate up like Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance, where it perfectly encapsulated the addicting hack ‘n slash, action-RPG loot-fest gameplay of the acclaimed PC Diablo series on console. We took turns passing the controller progressing away at the stylistic action title Devil May Cry, which blew us away back then. Speaking of stylistic Capcom titles, we re-busted out Onimusha and I witnessed Matt get past my hang-ups and go on to blitz through it. It recently got remastered on PS4/Xbox One and worth checking out if you have yet not. Summoner was a so-so fantasy themed action game, but we were looking at the options screen for that game and for whatever reason we decided to check out the credits from the options. After a minute of that we realized this was a waste of time and pressed the X button to proceed on out of there, and instead were bamboozled at the following bonus cinematic it unlocked. We must have watched it at least four or five times throughout the day, because we got more out of that sketch than Summoner itself. It was a radio skit that was CG animated for this game and kind of went on to have some notoriety in gaming circles, but if you are unaware than I will encourage you to click or press here to experience it for yourself. Holiday 2001: A Flurry of All-Time Classics Arrive
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The fall of 2001 was a big quarter for PS2. Several classic exclusives hit that holiday season for it. Metal Gear Solid 2 was the first entry in the series I played. Matt and I rented it, but its stealth-focused gameplay was too much for us at the time and both us kept messing up sneaking through the speech scene near the end of the opening boat mission. It would be over a decade before I revisited it and finally played through it in its entirety off the PS3 HD collection of the PS2 and PSP games. I loved both Sons of Liberty and Snake Eater, but I would have to give the nudge in favor to Snake Eater with its superb origin story, nonstop 007-homages, an extraordinary ladder climb like no other, one of the best theme songs in videogame history and one of the best final boss battles in videogame history too. The first of many yearly WWF/WWE games hit in fall of 2001 with WWF Smackdown: Just Bring It. We had the multi-tap, and for that game it greatly benefitted because it became a hit with our neighbor friends where we would play a seemingly infinite amount of Royal Rumbles and Survival elimination matches. I threw it in again a few days ago to prep up for this and to relive the dozen zany created wrestlers that still lived on in my save file. The graphics have come a long way I can say for sure! Twisted Metal: Black was a big deal for Matt and I at the time. The gritty, M-rated cutscenes for each character’s opening, middle and ending cinemas that were unlocked from their story mode completions inspired Matt and I to play through the story mode in co-op with every single character. Thankfully the game saved the cinemas unlocked, because Matt and I were so impressed by how they stood out at the time that we forced them upon several friends that stopped by over the coming weeks. Gameplay-wise, it was a well-refined, straightforward Twisted Metal car combat game, but its M-rated makeover from the T-rated PSone entries struck a chord with us.
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Speaking of M-rated games that were huge for us that year, that was when Grand Theft Auto III released and changed the gaming landscape as we know it. I was vaguely familiar with the first two games, but with the third one having 3D gameplay and a more expansive open world, it seemed like it would be a surefire hit, and boy was it ever. I loved SimCopter on PC (an early 3D open world game), and the gaming mag previews gave me the impression that it would be SimCopter, but with guns and violence, and it delivered on that front in spades. I dug its primary narrative for it too, but I think it is safe to say that I was like nearly everyone else and eventually wound up having more fun getting lost and immersed in Liberty City’s world and eventually causing so much mayhem just to see how long I could hold up against a five star wanted rating. 2002: Highs and Lows The early months of 2002 I recall was when I kept going back to those same fall 2001 games I just broke down, but later came around on going all in on those aforementioned PS2 fighting games. I picked up a copy of Tekken Tag for myself around this time and invested a lot of time into it. I took a chance on Street Fighter EX3 and after getting over the initial awkwardness of a 3D-based Street Fighter game I got crazy into EX3 with its devastating meteor attacks, optional tag team fighting and its colorful cast of characters such as the affable Skull-o-Mania! This was right when Guilty Gear X released too and I absolutely ate up that title with it upping the WTF quotient like no other fighter before it. Its unique roster performed all kinds of bizarre attacks, and learning its intricate control systems with complex mechanics like instant kill maneuvers and ‘roman cancels’ had me studying its manual for days!
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In late spring of 2002 I moved out of my first apartment so my renting marathons with Matt were over, but shortly-thereafter I landed my first sort-of major gaming press gig. I was independently submitting reviews to GameFAQs for a few years at this point, and the management at the website Game 2 Extreme (G2X) contacted me to coming on board and said while they would not pay me, they would offer me free review copies of games. As a freshly turned 19 year-old, I looked at this as an opportunity to bigger and better things and jumped on it. I will never forget the very first review copy I received for the so-so monster truck driving game, Monster Jam: Maximum Destruction. I spent the rest of the decade jumping to different websites to write for every couple years and lost track of all the titles I got to review. I can attest for the PS2 there was a wide range in quality of titles I received to review. For some of the higher performing games like SOCOM III, Hitman 2 and Star Wars: Battlefront I was able to review, there were bottom of the barrel licensed titles like Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly and Hard Rock Casino to balance things out. Also around this time of mid-2002 my PS2 became my first console to brick on me. Worst of all, it was a gradual, painful death. First, it stopped reading blue-disc games on CD-ROMs, and then it started getting sketchy performance out of certain silver-disc games on DVD-ROMs. My brother at this time had his own PS2 that he won in a local grocery store contest a few months earlier. The PS2 network adaptor coincidentally came out in mid-2002 as well and he was freaking addicted to playing the original SOCOM online all the time. I did not want to shell out $300 for another system so I believe after testing that SOCOM still worked fine on my degrading PS2 I offered to trade my breaking-down PS2, for his newer model for $100 and the condition that if my system I was trading to him would stop playing SOCOM that I would go back on the trade. Thank goodness that never came to be, and as an impressionable 19-year-old at the time I became kind of bitter to the PS2 for a few years with it being the first system I purchased to break down on me. A few years later though after having a couple 360s and my PS3 also all brick on me, I later came to accept that sometimes these systems go bad, especially when getting the first wave of systems rushed through manufacturing in time for launch. For the last two game console generations I have since waited a couple years after each system launch to purchase it in hopes of the console’s manufacturing process being less prone to producing faulty hardware. Sports-ball Love There was a ton of sports games on PS2 and I was lucky to review a lot of them. The football titles in particular I had to plead with editors not to trim down on 3000+ word counts because I exclaimed how the readers wanted to know each and every little detail of what was improved and added in the latest game. I had fun reviewing some of Midway’s arcade sports offerings that generation with NFL Blitz 20-02 and MLB Slugfest: Loaded. Another quirky arcade baseball game was 2K endorsing Konami to release MLB Power Pros in North America. It was a cartoony, cel-shaded baseball game that saw adorable pint-sized versions of MLB players duking it out, but fleshed out with in-depth single player modes. On the PSone I was happy to see Arena Football finally receive its own videogame, and on the PS2, EA acquired the license and released two AFL games that were faithful renditions of the sport, especially the second game that added both AFL divisions. They were sadly the last games released to get the AFL branding as the long running indoor football league finally folded operations last year after a 30-year run.
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Two under-the-radar sports series I recommend tracking down on the PS2 are the Power Pros and Arena Football games. I played almost all of the 2K games on Xbox, but as I mentioned above I played a lot of Madden and NCAA Football on PS2 because the PS2 versions had exclusive online support for a couple years, and additionally because of my rivalry with my brother-in-law, Shawn. This generation saw both of EA’s football games explode in popularity and it was no longer apparent the NCAA game was the NFL title slapped with college teams and rules over it. Shawn and I played a lot of Madden at first, but eventually shifted over to the NCAA games more, with the 2003 and 2004 editions we especially played to death. I liked the variety of teams and unique playbooks, and found myself picking Navy a lot because of their unorthodox playbook that focused on fullback running plays. Shawn only played the football games to the point where I could hardly compete with him. One priceless memory of mine was having an awful game full of turnovers and pick-6s, and I swear to god I am not embellishing this: we were playing five minute quarters and it got to the point I wanted a moral victory to avoid a shutout and make one score, and somehow luck struck on one play where I connected on a deep throw in the final minutes of the game and proceeded infuriate my brother-in-law as I celebrated as if I won the game. I understood his frustrations because I will forever remember the final score of that game: 100-6. A Terrific Twilight The PS2 sold so well into the 360/PS3/Wii generation that its cross-gen viability lead to a regular slate of games releasing through 2009-ish, and a handful of sports titles sneaking out after that with the final PS2 game, Pro Evolution Soccer 2013, being released in North America in 2012. If you were keeping up with release schedules, you will notice that two types of games dominated the PS2 in its cross-gen years. One were ports of PSP games from Sony, with titles like Motorstorm: Arctic Edge and the pair of Syphon Filter games getting ported up to the PS2. The Wii was technologically not that far advanced from the PS2, so a lot of cash-cow licensed games on Wii also got ported to PS2 with titles like X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Ghostbusters being completely different playing games by other developers when compared to the bigger budget versions on the 360 and PS3. Some PS2 exclusives also snuck out in this timeframe like the first two Katamari titles and the first two Guitar Hero games. I was a big fan of both games and invested serious time into both series. There are many fond holiday 2005 moments of passing the guitar around to family members trying to best each other’s high scores.
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I recall being stoked that the PS2 became the first home console in North America to get an official FirePro Wrestling game with 2007’s FirePro Wrestling Returns. I remember speaking to some of the people working for its publisher, Agetec, at E3 and how excited they were that they finally got Sony to loosen up on its restrictions of releasing 2D games on the system now that the PS2 was in its waning years. Another hit stealth PS2 release from this time was Silent Hill: Shattered Memories that hit America in early 2010. I had a friend visiting from out of town that was huge into the series, but was unaware of this PS2 entry and so we stayed up all night deep diving into that unique take on the series. The first two Yakuza games hit late in the PS2’s lifecycle and I was especially eager to play them because they were being hyped as spiritual successor’s to the Shenmue games that I ranked so high. I played a good ways into the first Yakuza, but recall getting stuck at a funeral escape stage in that game, and unfortunately never got back to it. Yakuza 3 on PS3 is the only title in the series I finished, and now with the Kiwami remakes of the first two games I need to one day just dedicate a year to only playing the many Yakuza games that have since released. MISC Memories -I never got too invested into the online PS2 scene. Usually that was because my brother was always using the PS2 to play SOCOM online a lot. I would use it from time to time to test out online play for games I was reviewing, with Star Wars: Battlefront and SOCOM 3’s online play standing out the most of what I reviewed. I do recall taking up Sony on its mail-in offer for a free copy of Twisted Metal: Black – Online with purchase of the PS2 network adaptor and having fun online in that for a couple weeks. My brother got the PS2 version of Final Fantasy XI, and I briefly dabbled in that for a couple hours, and it was interesting at that time playing an MMO on a console with a controller. The original Xbox had a significantly better online interface with Xbox Live, so that became my preferred console online play option. Only exception to this was for the 2003/2004 installments of Madden and NCAA Football because EA Sports held off on implementing online play for their Xbox games for a couple years, and that was key for me opting in on their PS2 versions when both of those football titles were surging in popularity and lead to the most consistent online play I did with PS2.
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-There were so many PS2 games being released in its heyday from 2001-2006 that I would take random payday visits to Best Buy when they had gargantuan videogame aisles in hopes of discovering games I never heard of from smaller label publishers. This worked out both ways in learning of little known ‘hidden gems’ of that era, and eventually finding utter trash. -One odd peripheral I received for review was the PS2 ‘Clash Pads.’ It was a pair of controllers that were connected together with a little accessory box that had switches to give your gaming partner/opponent advantages and disadvantages for gameplay. The controller was a mess to operate, and the added perks and penalties it implemented were mind-boggling. I will instead recommend Namco’s light gun for the Time Crisis games….but only if you still have a standard-def TV. -Popular in the retro gaming scene lately is HDMI cables for retro game consoles to up-convert a system’s signal to HD and provide a much improved looking display than the muddy, watered down graphics that would result when plugging in composite cables into an HDTV. I picked up the HDMI PS2 cables from Pound last year, and they worked nicely on my slim PS2. I understand there are more expensive alternatives out there that yield noticeably better results, but for $30, the Pound cables provided enough of a bump up in quality for me.
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-I busted out several games over the past week to prep up for this flashback special. I was finally able to play my copy of the BMX title, Downhill Domination and regretted not trying it out sooner. I had a blast revisiting a couple old favorites in Rumble Racing and Motorstrom: Arctic Edge. Wish I could have tried out more games, but the PS2 was giving me ‘read disc errors’ with half of my attempts and I could not determine if it was the HD cables causing this or if it was the PS2 itself simply aging out. -I touched on a couple wrestling games on the PS2 already, but as a whole I would give the slate of wrestling games for the PS2 in America a hearty thumbs up. I believe I played the entirety and unlocked everything from all the first-run SmackDown games on PS2. When firing up Just Bring It again, I cracked a smile because I completely forgot Fred Durst was a playable character, complete with “Rollin’” for his entrance theme. FirePro Wrestling Returns was a long anticipated console debut for the franchise in America. Multi-platform games I played on other systems like the car-combat spinoff, WWE Crush Hour and the pair of Backyard Wrestling games were fun alternative wrestling games to take a break from the annual core WWE game. Yes, there was a car combat WWE game, and it is surprisingly halfway-decent. I picked up the PS2 version of TNA Impact, but it was a victim of the ‘disc read error’ from the past week. Ditto with the Ultimate MUSCLE-licensed Galactic Wrestling. I picked that one up long ago, but never played it all these years and was stoked to sit down with it on a couple occasions this past week to play it, but alas it was not meant to be.
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-A game that was able to load on the PS2 this past week was Namco Bandai’s The Fast and the Furious. It turned out to be an ok-open world street racing game, much like Need for Speed: Underground on the PS2, but with more of a focus on drag races. Odd memory of the day I picked up this game I will never forget: I was out of town for a hockey game killing time at a pawn shop a couple hours beforehand with a buddy where I randomly bought this with a handful of other games. In a gut-punch of irony, it was later after the game while re-fueling on gas, I was catching up on my timelines when I found out earlier that day was when Paul Walker perished. -Another game I was hoping to throw in this past week was 24: The Game. I am a huge fan of the show, and I remember playing a demo of it at E3 2005 and thinking it was surprisingly alright for a licensed-based game. Sadly, that disc was also a victim of the ‘disc read error’ message, so instead I will point everyone to this highly entertaining spoof video review you can see by click or pressing here from then-GameSpot staff member, Alex Navarro.
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-Speaking of PS2 games based off licensed TV properties, I want to shout out The Shield: The Game. It was a very by-the-numbers third person action game, and featured unremarkable gameplay, but having the show’s cast well represented visually and aurally in the form of voiceovers was enough to quench my fandom for that show. Despite the five out of ten I gave it in my review at the time, if you were a ardent fan of The Shield, then it was just something you had to play. -I am a big fan of the PS2 slim, but it is worth mentioning a major caveat of the slim: it does not support the PS2 multi-tap for reasons perplexing me to this very day!
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-It is almost a prerequisite that I purchase faithful videogame conversions of my favorite board games and TV game shows every console generation and the PS2 was no exception. It had an adequate version of Risk with multi-tap support which was a semi-worthy substitute when we were not up for setting up the board game. Its versions of Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune had a bountiful amount of hosting video clips from Trebek and Vanna, respectively, to perfectly capture the look and feel of the show. The PS2’s version of Family Feud however is easily the worst version I have ever played. Insanely short entry response times, unresponsive button inputs and overall clunky design forever marred the Family Feud brand! Looking back at my review I am guffawed that I scored this a six out of ten. -The last fighting game I was really into on PS2 than the others previously mentioned was Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution. I first played it at Chris’s place like how he introduced me to most other fighting games, and Chris would school me at it nonstop. A short while later, I was staying over at my sister and brother-in-law’s place where they also had that game. I stayed up late after they went to bed and spent hours mastering Wolf since he was the sole pro-wrestler of the roster. Next time I met up with Chris I finally won ONE match against him, but after that he refused to play me again!
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-Now while I gushed earlier of my adoration for TimeSplitters during the launch window of PS2, I would be remiss if I did not give some well-earned props to the third game in the series, TimeSplitters: Future Perfect. In the past several years, that game has remained in the rotation of go-to couch multiplayer game with my friends Derek, Brooke and Ryan. It retains the same style of FPS gameplay and creation options as the first game, but now with a ton of extra characters, weapons and levels available. My preferred playlist would be rocking the disco level with its appropriate theme music, and playing as a big bear (complete with bear claw strike!) and whamming everyone with gigantic bananas on the dance floor. Classic times! One of the Best Systems Ever? That is what hardware sales and overall critical reception trend to be when looking back at the PS2. While I now look back fondly at the PS2 as a whole, especially my first two years owning the system, I cannot deny for a few years in the system’s heyday I was not too keen on the system due to it bricking on me and preferred playing games on Xbox and GameCube instead. Like I stated above, I came around on this a few years later and had a blast with the PS2 in its cross-gen sunset years, and revisited its vast library numerous times over the years. While I cannot say it is my personal, all-time favorite console, I can safely rank it among my top tier of favorite systems.
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If you want even more PS2 nostalgia coverage from me, then check out the three PS2-centric episodes of my podcast I have un-vaulted from my personal archives and embedded below. Right now I have my general all-encompassing PS2 retrospective I recorded on its 10th anniversary and the PS2/Xbox/Wii installment of the history of comic book videogames episode uploaded. Finishing it off is the PS2 installment in our history of RPG videogames series.
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This episode has special guest hosts from the PSnation podcast where we deep dive for three hours of nostalgic memories of the PS2.
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Matt and I spare no expense at elucidating on every major and minor comic book game on the PS2.
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Just over three hours we spend breaking down nearly every RPG to hit the PS2! My Other Gaming Flashbacks Dreamcast 20th Anniversary GameBoy 30th Anniversary Genesis 30th Anniversary NES 35th Anniversary PSone 25th Anniversary PSP 15th Anniversary and Neo-Geo 30th Anniversary Saturn and Virtual Boy 25th Anniversaries TurboGrafX-16 30th Anniversary and 32-X 25th Anniversary
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You’re Still Here!?
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Somehow you still made it to the end of another tome of a flashback special from me, so that means I must reward you with an oddball PS2 anecdote of my past! I referenced in past specials how I attended several retro videogame conventions that took place every year in Milwaukee - The Midwest Gaming Classic. At the time the podcast known as Team Fremont Live would always host Jeopardy-style game show each year. My brother and I were picked to be contestants that year! To spice things up for the crowd and get them involved, after every few questions of trivia there would be a quick videogame challenge for extra points and prizes for the crowd and/or contestant. I got picked to play a single stage of the space shooter/shmup, Castle Shikigami 2. Two incredibly loud kids got picked from the crowd got selected to only verbally trash talk and distract me, and if I lost one life then the kids would get a game, but if I somehow overcame the odds and finished a level on a single life then I would win. Now I enjoy playing an occasional shmup, especially in March (it is intergalactic Shmuppreaction month, ya’know!), but I nowhere consider myself legitimately good at the genre and usually lose at least a couple lives a level for almost any shooter I play. Somehow the shmup gods were on my side that day, because even with one of those kids unleashing maximum effort with trash talk directly against my ear, I somehow zoned them out and unbelievably managed to finish the stage and beat the boss with one life. I was at zenith-level of goosebumps during that boss battle and had a cool-down moment of emotions as soon as let go of the arcade stick. My prize? Metal Gear Solid 2, which I would eventually give a serious effort to and finish several years later! That moment, along with the 100-6 loss in NCAA Football 2004, are my two most cherished PS2 moments I will forever remember….and now you can too, because the MGC staff record my attempt and posted it on YouTube. I have embedded it below, or you can click or press here to see it yourself.
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suzanneshannon · 4 years
Text
Review of the Surface Book 3 for Developers
I was offered a Surface Book 3 to use as a loaner over the the last 5 weeks. I did a short video teaser on Twitter where I beat on the device with a pretty ridiculous benchmark - running Visual Studio 2019 while running Gears of War and Ubuntu under WSL and Windows Terminal. I have fun. ;)
Hey they loaned me a @surface book 3! So...I threw EVERYTHING at it...Visual Studio, Gears of War, Ubuntu/WSL2/Windows...*all at the same time* because why not? LOL (review very soon) pic.twitter.com/FmgGCBUGuR
— Scott Hanselman (@shanselman) May 14, 2020
Size and Weight
My daily driver has been a Surface Book 2 since 2017. The new Surface Book 3 is the exact size (23mm thick as a laptop) and weight (3.38 and 4.2 lbs.) as the SB2. I have had to add a small sticker to one otherwise I'd get them confused. The display resolutions are 3000×2000 for the 13.5-inch model and 3240×2160 for the 15-inch one that I have. I prefer a 15" laptop. I don't know how you 13" people do it.
Basically if you are a Surface Book 2 user the size and weight are the same. The Surface Book 3 is considerably more power in the same size machine.
CPU and Memory
They gave me an i7-1065G7 CPU to test. It bursts happily over 3.5 Ghz (see the compiling screenshot below) and in my average usage hangs out in the 2 to 1.8 range with no fan on. I regularly run Visual Studio 2019, VS Code, Teams, Edge (new Edge, the Chromium one), Ubuntu via WSL2, Docker Desktop (the WSL2 one), Gmail and Outlook as PWAs, as well as Adobe Premiere and Audition and other parts of the Creative Suite. Memory usually sits around 14-18 gigs unless I'm rendering something big.
It's a 10th gen Intel chip and as the Surface Book 3 can detach the base from the screen, it's both a laptop and tablet. I gleaned from Anandatech that TDP is between 10 and 25W (usually 15W) depends on what is needed, and it shifts frequencies very fast. This is evident in the great battery life when doing things like writing this blog post or writing in Edge or Word (basically forever) versus playing a AAA game or running a long compile, building containers, or rendering a video in Premiere (several hours).
FLIP THE SCREEN AROUND? You can also when docked even reverse the screen! Whatever do you mean? It's actually awesome if you want an external keyboard.
All this phrased differently? It's fast, quickly, when it needs to be but it's constantly changing the clock to maximize power/thermals/battery.
SSD - Size and Speed
The device I was loaned has a Toshiba KXG60PNV2T04 Hard Drive 2TB NVMe M.2 that's MASSIVE. I'm used to 512G or maaybe a 1TB drive in a Laptop. I'm getting used to never having to worry about space. Definitely 1TB minimum these days if you want to play games AND do development.
I ran a CrystalBenchmark on the SSD and it did 3.2GB/s sequential reads! Sweet. I feel like the disk is not the bottleneck with my development compile tests below. When I consulted with the Surface team last year during the conception of the Surface Book 3 I pushed them for faster SSDs and I feel that they delivered with this 2TB SSD.
GPU - Gaming and Tensorflow
The 13.5-inch model now comes with an NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1650 Max-Q GPU with 4GB of GDDR5 memory in its Core i7 variant, while the 15-inch unit features a NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 Ti Max-Q with 6GB of GDDR6 memory. When running the Gears 5 Benchmark while plugged in (from the Extras menu, Benchmark) is has no issues with the default settings doing 60fps for 90% of the benchmark with a few dips into the 57 range depending what's on screen.
It's not a gaming machine, per se, but it does have a NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 Ti so I'm basically able to 1080p 60fps AAA games. I've played Destiny 2, Gears of War 5, and Call of Duty Modern Warfare on default settings at 60 fps without issue. The fan does turn on but it's very manageable. I like that whenever we get back into hotels I'll be able to play some games and develop on the same machine. The 15" also includes an Xbox Wireless Adapter so I just paired my controller with it directly.
I was also able to run Tensorflow with CUDA on the laptop under Windows and it worked great. I ran a model against some video footage from my dashcam and 5.1 gigs of video RAM was used immediately and the CUDA engine on the 1660Ti is visible working in Taskman. The commercial SKU has an NVIDIA Quadro RTX 3000 that is apparently even more tuned for CUDA work.
Developer Performance
When I built my Intel i9 Ultimate Desktop 3.0 machine and others, I like to do compile tests to get a sense of how much you can throw at machine. I like big project compiles because they are a combination of a lot of disk access and a lot of parallel CPU work. However, some projects do have a theoretical maximum compile speed because of the way the dependences flesh out. I like to use Orchard Core for benchmarks.
Orchard Core is a fully-featured CMS with 143 projects loaded into Visual Studio. MSBUILD and .NET Core supports both parallel and incremental builds.
A warm build of Orchard Core on IRONHEART my i9 desktop takes just under 10 seconds.
My 6 year old Surface Pro 3 builds it warm in 62 seconds.
A totally cold build (after a dotnet clean) on IRONHEART takes 33.3 seconds.
My Surface Pro 3 builds it cold in 2.4 minutes.
I'll do the same build on both my Surface Book 2 and this new Surface Book 3 to compare. I've excluded the source folders from Defender as well as msbuild.exe and dotnet.exe. I've also turned off the Indexer.
A cold build (after a dotnet clean) on this Surface Book 3 takes 46 seconds.
A warm build is 16.1 seconds
A cold build (after a dotnet clean) on my Surface Book 2 takes 115 seconds.
It's WAY faster than my Surface Book 2 which has been my daily driver when mobile for nearly 3 years!
Benchmarks are all relative and there's raw throughput, there's combination benchmarks, and all kinds of things that can "make a chart." I just do benchmarks that show if I can do a thing I did before, faster.
You can also test various guesses if you have them by adding parameters to dotnet.exe. For example, perhaps you're thinking that 143 projects is thrashing to disk so you want to control how many CPUs are used. This has 4 physical cores and 8 logical, so we could try pulling back a little
dotnet build /maxcpucount:4
The result with Orchard Core is the same, so there is likely a theoretical max as to how fast this can build today. If you really want to go nuts, try
dotnet build -v diag
And dig through ALL the timing info!
Webcam Quality
Might be odd to add this as its own section but we're all using our webcams constantly right now. I was particularly impressed with the front-facing webcam. A lot of webcams are 720p with mediocre white balance. I do a lot of video calls so I notice this stuff. The SB3 has a 1080p front camera for video and decent light pickup. When using the Camera app you can do up to 5MP (2560x1920) which is cool. Here's a pic from today.
Ports and Power and Sound and Wi-Fi
The Surface Book 3 has just one USB-C port on the right side and two USB 3.1 Gen 2s on the left. I'd have liked one additional USB-C so I could project on stage and still have one additional USB-C available...but I don't know what for. I just want one more port. That said, the NEW Surface Dock 2 adds FOUR USB-C ports, so it's not a big deal.
It was theoretically possible to pull more power on the SB2 than its power supply could offer. While I never had an issue with that, I've been told by some Destiny 2 players and serious media renderers that it could happen. With the SB3 they upped the power supply with 65W for the base 13.5-inch version and a full 127W for the 15-inch SKUs so that's not an issue any more.
I have only two Macs for development and I have no Thunderbolt devices or need for an eGPU so I may not be the ideal Thunderbolt consumer. I haven't needed it yet. Some folks have said that it's a bummer the SB3 doesn't have it but it hasn't been an issue or sticking point for any of my devices today. With the new Surface Dock 2 (below) I have a single cable to plug in that gives me two 4k monitors at 60Hz, lots of power, 4 USB-C ports all via the Dock Connector.
I also want to touch on sound. There is a fan inside the device and if it gets hot it will run. If I'm doing 1080p 60fps in Call of Duty WarZone you can likely hear the fan. It comes and goes and while it's audible when the fan is on, when the CPU is not maxed out (during 70% of my work day) the Surface Book 3 is absolutely silent, even when running the monitors. The fan comes on with the CPU is bursting hard over 3Ghz and/or the GPU is on full blast.
One other thing, the Surface Book 3 has Wi-Fi 6 even though I don't! I have a Ubnt network and no Wi-Fi 6 mesh points. I haven't had ANY issues with the Wi-Fi on this device over Ubnt mesh points. When copying a 60 gig video file over Wi-Fi from my Synology NAS I see sustained 280 megabit speeds.
The New Surface Dock - Coming May 26th
I'm also testing a pre-release Surface Dock 2. I suspect they wanted me to test it with the Surface Book 3...BUT! I just plugged in every Surface I have to see what would happen.
My wife has a Surface Laptop 2 she got herself, one son has my 6 year old old Surface Pro 3 while the other has a Surface Go he got with his allowance. (We purchased these over the last few years.) As such we have three existing Surface Docks (original) - One in the kids' study/playroom, one in the Kitchen as a generalized docking station for anyone to drop in to, and one in my office assigned me by work.
We use these individual Surfaces (varying ages, sizes, and powers) along with my work-assigned Surface Book 2 plus this loaner Surface Book 3, so it's kind of a diverse household from a purely Surface perspective. My first thought was - can I use all these devices with the new Dock? Stuff just works with a few caveats for older stuff like my Surface Pro 3.
RANDOM NOTE: What happens when you plug a Surface Pro 3 (released in 2014) into a Surface Dock 2? Nothing, but it does get power. However, the original Surface Dock is great and still runs 4096 x 2160 @30Hz or 2960 x 1440 @60Hz via mini DisplayPort so the Pro 3 is still going strong 6 years out and the kids like it.
So this Surface Dock 2 replaces the original Dock my office. The Surface Dock 2 has
2x front-facing USB-C ports (I use these for two 4k monitors)
2x rear-facing USB-C ports
2x rear-facing USB-A 3.2 (10Gbps) ports
1x Gigabit Ethernet port
1x 3.5mm audio in/out port
Kensington lock slot - I've never used this
First, that's a lot of USB-C. I'm not there yet with the USB-C lifestyle, but I did pick up two USB-C to full-size DisplayPort cables at Amazon and I can happily report that I can run both my 4k monitors at 60hz plus run the main Surface Book 3 panel. The new Dock and its power supply can push 120 watts of power to the Surface with a total of 199 watts everything connected to the dock. I've got a few USB-C memory sticks and one USB-C external hard drive, plus the Logitech Brio is USB 3, so 6 total ports is fine with 4 free after the two monitors. I also Gigabit wired the whole house so I use the Ethernet port quite happily.
Initially I care about one thing - my 4k monitors. Using the USB-C to DisplayPort cables I plugged the dock into two Dell P2715Q 4ks and they work! I preferred using the direct cables rather than any adapters, but I also tested a USB-C to HDMI 2.0 adapter I got in 2018 with some other Dell monitors in the house and that worked with the Surface Book 3 as it had previously with the Book 2.
SURPRISE NOTE: How does the super-thin Surface Pro X do when plugged into a Surface Dock 2? Amazing. It runs two 4k monitors at 60 Hz. I don't know why I was shocked, it's listed on the support page. It's a brand new device, but it's also the size and weight of an iPad so I was surprised. It's a pretty amazing little device - I'll do another post on just the ARM-based Surface Pro X another time.
One final thing about the new Dock. The cable is longer! The first dock had a cable that was about 6" too short and now it's not. It's the little things and in this case, a big thing that makes a Dock that much nicer to use.
Conclusion
All in all, I'm very happy with this Surface Book 3 having been an existing Surface Book 2 user. It's basically 40-50% faster, the video card is surprisingly capable. The SSD is way faster at the top end. It's a clear upgrade over what I had before, and when paired with the Surface Dock 2 and two 4k monitors it's a capable developer box for road warriors or home office warriors like myself.
Sponsor: Have you tried developing in Rider yet? This fast and feature-rich cross-platform IDE improves your code for .NET, ASP.NET, .NET Core, Xamarin, and Unity applications on Windows, Mac, and Linux.
© 2020 Scott Hanselman. All rights reserved.
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      Review of the Surface Book 3 for Developers published first on https://deskbysnafu.tumblr.com/
0 notes
philipholt · 4 years
Text
Review of the Surface Book 3 for Developers
I was offered a Surface Book 3 to use as a loaner over the the last 5 weeks. I did a short video teaser on Twitter where I beat on the device with a pretty ridiculous benchmark - running Visual Studio 2019 while running Gears of War and Ubuntu under WSL and Windows Terminal. I have fun. ;)
Hey they loaned me a @surface book 3! So...I threw EVERYTHING at it...Visual Studio, Gears of War, Ubuntu/WSL2/Windows...*all at the same time* because why not? LOL (review very soon) pic.twitter.com/FmgGCBUGuR
— Scott Hanselman (@shanselman) May 14, 2020
Size and Weight
My daily driver has been a Surface Book 2 since 2017. The new Surface Book 3 is the exact size (23mm thick as a laptop) and weight (3.38 and 4.2 lbs.) as the SB2. I have had to add a small sticker to one otherwise I'd get them confused. The display resolutions are 3000×2000 for the 13.5-inch model and 3240×2160 for the 15-inch one that I have. I prefer a 15" laptop. I don't know how you 13" people do it.
Basically if you are a Surface Book 2 user the size and weight are the same. The Surface Book 3 is considerably more power in the same size machine.
CPU and Memory
They gave me an i7-1065G7 CPU to test. It bursts happily over 3.5 Ghz (see the compiling screenshot below) and in my average usage hangs out in the 2 to 1.8 range with no fan on. I regularly run Visual Studio 2019, VS Code, Teams, Edge (new Edge, the Chromium one), Ubuntu via WSL2, Docker Desktop (the WSL2 one), Gmail and Outlook as PWAs, as well as Adobe Premiere and Audition and other parts of the Creative Suite. Memory usually sits around 14-18 gigs unless I'm rendering something big.
It's a 10th gen Intel chip and as the Surface Book 3 can detach the base from the screen, it's both a laptop and tablet. I gleaned from Anandatech that TDP is between 10 and 25W (usually 15W) depends on what is needed, and it shifts frequencies very fast. This is evident in the great battery life when doing things like writing this blog post or writing in Edge or Word (basically forever) versus playing a AAA game or running a long compile, building containers, or rendering a video in Premiere (several hours).
FLIP THE SCREEN AROUND? You can also when docked even reverse the screen! Whatever do you mean? It's actually awesome if you want an external keyboard.
All this phrased differently? It's fast, quickly, when it needs to be but it's constantly changing the clock to maximize power/thermals/battery.
SSD - Size and Speed
The device I was loaned has a Toshiba KXG60PNV2T04 Hard Drive 2TB NVMe M.2 that's MASSIVE. I'm used to 512G or maaybe a 1TB drive in a Laptop. I'm getting used to never having to worry about space. Definitely 1TB minimum these days if you want to play games AND do development.
I ran a CrystalBenchmark on the SSD and it did 3.2GB/s sequential reads! Sweet. I feel like the disk is not the bottleneck with my development compile tests below. When I consulted with the Surface team last year during the conception of the Surface Book 3 I pushed them for faster SSDs and I feel that they delivered with this 2TB SSD.
GPU - Gaming and Tensorflow
The 13.5-inch model now comes with an NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1650 Max-Q GPU with 4GB of GDDR5 memory in its Core i7 variant, while the 15-inch unit features a NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 Ti Max-Q with 6GB of GDDR6 memory. When running the Gears 5 Benchmark while plugged in (from the Extras menu, Benchmark) is has no issues with the default settings doing 60fps for 90% of the benchmark with a few dips into the 57 range depending what's on screen.
It's not a gaming machine, per se, but it does have a NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 Ti so I'm basically able to 1080p 60fps AAA games. I've played Destiny 2, Gears of War 5, and Call of Duty Modern Warfare on default settings at 60 fps without issue. The fan does turn on but it's very manageable. I like that whenever we get back into hotels I'll be able to play some games and develop on the same machine. The 15" also includes an Xbox Wireless Adapter so I just paired my controller with it directly.
I was also able to run Tensorflow with CUDA on the laptop under Windows and it worked great. I ran a model against some video footage from my dashcam and 5.1 gigs of video RAM was used immediately and the CUDA engine on the 1660Ti is visible working in Taskman. The commercial SKU has an NVIDIA Quadro RTX 3000 that is apparently even more tuned for CUDA work.
Developer Performance
When I built my Intel i9 Ultimate Desktop 3.0 machine and others, I like to do compile tests to get a sense of how much you can throw at machine. I like big project compiles because they are a combination of a lot of disk access and a lot of parallel CPU work. However, some projects do have a theoretical maximum compile speed because of the way the dependences flesh out. I like to use Orchard Core for benchmarks.
Orchard Core is a fully-featured CMS with 143 projects loaded into Visual Studio. MSBUILD and .NET Core supports both parallel and incremental builds.
A warm build of Orchard Core on IRONHEART my i9 desktop takes just under 10 seconds.
My 6 year old Surface Pro 3 builds it warm in 62 seconds.
A totally cold build (after a dotnet clean) on IRONHEART takes 33.3 seconds.
My Surface Pro 3 builds it cold in 2.4 minutes.
I'll do the same build on both my Surface Book 2 and this new Surface Book 3 to compare. I've excluded the source folders from Defender as well as msbuild.exe and dotnet.exe. I've also turned off the Indexer.
A cold build (after a dotnet clean) on this Surface Book 3 takes 46 seconds.
A warm build is 16.1 seconds
A cold build (after a dotnet clean) on my Surface Book 2 takes 115 seconds.
It's WAY faster than my Surface Book 2 which has been my daily driver when mobile for nearly 3 years!
Benchmarks are all relative and there's raw throughput, there's combination benchmarks, and all kinds of things that can "make a chart." I just do benchmarks that show if I can do a thing I did before, faster.
You can also test various guesses if you have them by adding parameters to dotnet.exe. For example, perhaps you're thinking that 143 projects is thrashing to disk so you want to control how many CPUs are used. This has 4 physical cores and 8 logical, so we could try pulling back a little
dotnet build /maxcpucount:4
The result with Orchard Core is the same, so there is likely a theoretical max as to how fast this can build today. If you really want to go nuts, try
dotnet build -v diag
And dig through ALL the timing info!
Webcam Quality
Might be odd to add this as its own section but we're all using our webcams constantly right now. I was particularly impressed with the front-facing webcam. A lot of webcams are 720p with mediocre white balance. I do a lot of video calls so I notice this stuff. The SB3 has a 1080p front camera for video and decent light pickup. When using the Camera app you can do up to 5MP (2560x1920) which is cool. Here's a pic from today.
Ports and Power and Sound and Wi-Fi
The Surface Book 3 has just one USB-C port on the right side and two USB 3.1 Gen 2s on the left. I'd have liked one additional USB-C so I could project on stage and still have one additional USB-C available...but I don't know what for. I just want one more port. That said, the NEW Surface Dock 2 adds FOUR USB-C ports, so it's not a big deal.
It was theoretically possible to use pull power on the SB2 than it's power supply could push. While I never had an issue with that, I've been told by some Destiny 2 players and serious media renderers that it could happen. With the SB3 they upped the power supply with 65W for the base 13.5-inch version and a full 127W for the 15-inch SKUs so that's not an issue any more.
I have only two Macs for development and I have no Thunderbolt devices or need for an eGPU so I may not be the ideal Thunderbolt consumer. I haven't needed it yet. Some folks have said that it's a bummer the SB3 doesn't have it but it hasn't been an issue or sticking point for any of my devices today.
I also want to touch on sound. There is a fan inside the device and if it gets hot it will run. If I'm doing 1080p 60fps in Call of Duty WarZone you can likely hear the fan. It comes and goes and while it's audible when it's one, when the CPU is not maxed out (during 70% of my work day) the Surface Book 3 is absolutely silent, even when running the monitors. The fan comes on with the CPU is bursting hard over 3Ghz and/or the GPU is on full blast.
One other thing, the Surface Book 3 has Wi-Fi 6 even though I don't! I have a Ubnt network and no Wi-Fi 6 mesh points. I haven't had ANY issues with the Wi-Fi on this device over Ubnt mesh points. When copying a 60 gig video file over Wi-Fi from my Synology NAS I see sustained 280 megabit speeds.
The New Surface Dock - Coming May 26th
I'm also testing a pre-release Surface Dock 2. I suspect they wanted me to test it with the Surface Book 3...BUT! I just plugged in every Surface I have to see what would happen.
My wife has a Surface Laptop 2 she got herself, one son has my 6 year old old Surface Pro 3 while the other has a Surface Go he got with his allowance. (We purchased these over the last few years.) As such we have three existing Surface Docks (original) - One in the kids' study/playroom, one in the Kitchen as a generalized docking station for anyone to drop in to, and one in my office assigned me by work.
We use these individual Surfaces (varying ages, sizes, and powers) along with my work-assigned Surface Book 2 plus this loaner Surface Book 3, so it's kind of a diverse household from a purely Surface perspective. My first thought was - can I use all these devices with the new Dock? Stuff just works with a few caveats for older stuff like my Surface Pro 3.
RANDOM NOTE: What happens when you plug a Surface Pro 3 (released in 2014) into a Surface Dock 2? Nothing, but it does get power. However, the original Surface Dock is great and still runs 4096 x 2160 @30Hz or 2960 x 1440 @60Hz via mini DisplayPort so the Pro 3 is still going strong 6 years out and the kids like it.
So this Surface Dock 2 replaces the original Dock my office. The Surface Dock 2 has
2x front-facing USB-C ports (I use these for two 4k monitors)
2x rear-facing USB-C ports
2x rear-facing USB-A 3.2 (10Gbps) ports
1x Gigabit Ethernet port
1x 3.5mm audio in/out port
Kensington lock slot - I've never used this
First, that's a lot of USB-C. I'm not there yet with the USB-C lifestyle, but I did pick up two USB-C to full-size DisplayPort cables at Amazon and I can happily report that I can run both my 4k monitors at 60hz plus run the main Surface Book 3 panel. The new Dock and its power supply can push 120 watts of power to the Surface with a total of 199 watts everything connected to the dock. I've got a few USB-C memory sticks and one USB-C external hard drive, plus the Logitech Brio is USB 3, so 6 total ports is fine with 4 free after the two monitors. I also Gigabit wired the whole house so I use the Ethernet port quite happily.
Initially I care about one thing - my 4k monitors. Using the USB-C to DisplayPort cables I plugged the dock into two Dell P2715Q 4ks and they work! I preferred using the direct cables rather than any adapters, but I also tested a USB-C to HDMI 2.0 adapter I got in 2018 with some other Dell monitors in the house and that worked with the Surface Book 3 as it had previously with the Book 2.
SURPRISE NOTE: How does the super-thin Surface Pro X do when plugged into a Surface Dock 2? Amazing. It runs two 4k monitors at 60 Hz. I don't know why I was shocked, it's listed on the support page. It's a brand new device, but it's also the size and weight of an iPad so I was surprised. It's a pretty amazing little device - I'll do another post on just the ARM-based Surface Pro X another time.
One final thing about the new Dock. The cable is longer! The first dock had a cable that was about 6" too short and now it's not. It's the little things and in this case, a big thing that makes a Dock that much nicer to use.
Conclusion
All in all, I'm very happy with this Surface Book 3 having been an existing Surface Book 2 user. It's basically 40-50% faster, the video card is surprisingly capable. The SSD is way faster at the top end. It's a clear upgrade over what I had before, and when paired with the Surface Dock 2 and two 4k monitors it's a capable developer box for road warriors or home office warriors like myself.
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      Review of the Surface Book 3 for Developers published first on http://7elementswd.tumblr.com/
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olympusintelligence · 4 years
Text
Part 3 Chapter 9 (Full)
26/11/2018 22:00 ( San Francisco Time)  San Francisco International Airport
“Welcome to San Francisco.”  
A female Filipino immigration officer welcomed Kyle with a smile, who had queued for a hour and half at the port of entry.
His clear-cut appearance and unyielding eyes are rare to be found among the Asian men in the United States. They attracted her to stare at him for a bit longer. He finally crossed the border after she gave him back his passport.
Many dreamers from around the world hope to  build their startups or successful tech careers in Silicon Valley. Fortunately many international hackathons and startup conferences would be held in these months, which helped him create a credible story to get close to his target. At first he thought of notifying Christian that he had arrived in the country, but soon  he dropped this idea. It would be better to contact him when he found any substantial evidence.
After the tiring long-haul flight he really just hoped to get some rest at the hotel. He took d Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) to Millbrae, so that he could get on board a Caltrain to Palo Alto. With just a thin jacket, he embraced cold winds during late night while waiting for the Caltrain. Transportation is inconvenient in California at night, so it ended up taking him four hours to reach the small hotel near Palo Alto train station. Transport to Palo Alto is truly a mess unless one has a private jet or a car. The accommodating hotel staff took note of his severe fatigue when he checked in, so he briskly led him to his room. He fell asleep after he was in.
His sleep last for twelve hours. He is not a deep sleeper, but perhaps due to the accumulated stress and fatigue, he enjoyed a long slumber.  
The hotel does not serve lunch, so after freshening himself up, he just headed outside to buy a burger. He was not in the mood to walk along the University Avenue or admire the chic downtown view. He just hoped to return to the hotel to get his props ready. VidChat Hackathon would start on the next day. He did not plan to stay at the hotel for one more day as the site was in East Palo Alto and participants could enjoy free accommodation during the hackathon period. 
He met three aspiring tech talents who would also take part in the same hackathon, and they had rented a car, so the next morning he had a free ride to the hotel venue, otherwise he may have had to leave the hotel one day much earlier. These three dreamers were computer science undergrads from Russia, and they considered Palo Alto a place that gathers the geniuses, geeks and big shots in technology. There is a higher chance to get spotted in a hackathon by senior management of large tech corporations, which means they might be able to stay in the US to develop their careers. Even though they may not have any progress in Vid’s hackathon, they would still join hackathons in downtown San Francisco, San Jose and Santa Clara. To keep his motives secret, he only mentioned to them that he just wished to learn more about Silicon Valley’s current development and he was planning to move to California to start a business. Those students just thought he might be a rich investor based on his Asian appearance, so they all showed interest in his potential startup tale.
Students are really gullible, he thought. Certainly he would not create a startup in California. His main objectives are to gather intelligence about the previous bombing in Jakarta and Helen’s location from Andrew and investigate his possible involvement  in the terrorist attack, but this tech tycoon must be a real hard nut to crack.
About an hour later, they arrived at a five-star luxury hotel. As Vid’s offices could not accommodate hundreds of participants like the other tech giants did, it rented a large hotel instead, and it generously arranged accommodation for most participants who struggled with it, but the staff of the hotel and Vid had to be busy with the logistics involved.
Kyle did not mingle with the three students any longer. After signing up at the registration counter, he entered the restaurant to enjoy a complimentary buffet breakfast. At the same time, he used his MacBook and iPad to organize the information he had gathered regarding the target. Outsiders may only get the impression that he was just preparing for the hackathon, as other competitors were preoccupied with checking their devices as well.
Andrew Hector and a few directors’ unexpectedly arrived at the same restaurant. It caused an uproar among the participants, so he had to shut down his devices to avoid drawing anyone’s attention to him. Similar to most tech tycoons in Silicon Valley, Andrew seemed casual, friendly and easygoing. Having had a clear undercut styled haircut, he just wore a long-sleeved V-neck white tee, jeans and a pair of Nike sneakers. The directors’ dress style was mainly smart casual. They parted with Andrew and went to have their own breakfast first, while Andrew mingled with the participants with a smiley face under the protection of two bodyguards and his assistant. Some participants requested taking selfies with him and he welcomed it.
This time he would not only attract the eyeballs of his fans and the press. The tech world would soon go abuzz about his company’s new product, the sharp black V10 Spectacles he was currently wearing. They were not only waterproof, but capable of shooting longer videos and livestreaming what the wearer saw onto VidChat. The large screens at the scene were showing a high-resolution footage of what he was seeing, and it was at the same time being livestreamed to his own fans on his official account.  
He may be a secretive introvert, but it did not mean he did not know how to pitch and sell his product. Some reporters anticipating  the news immediately captured the scene. He was the target of their cameras’ limelights. He did answer some of their questions, but an assistant intervened and asked them to interview him instead after the opening of the hackathon. Then they were directed to the press seats.
Just right after the reporters left him, he noticed Kyle. ‘I hope you like my new Spectacles. A friend of mine has just come to visit me. See you again at the opening,’ he casually said goodbye to his fans and logged out. He then took away his Spectacles and made sure both his smartphone and the spectacles were offline. He came to sit opposite Kyle at his table without regard of the other people turning their eyes to them. ‘Kyle, can’t believe you’re here. How’s it going?’ he just greeted him warmly, as though he saw him as a very good friend. 
Lucky me. I was quick enough. Otherwise all people on the spot know I’m here to dig up his dirt. He secretly sighed with relief. As his target had just come into his way, he seized this valuable chance to get into contact with him. ‘I’m doing ok. I’ve just quit my job, and the development in my hometown’s tech scene is too slow, so I am seeking opportunities overseas. That’s why I’m here.’
‘That sounds great. It’s better to leave the sad place for a while, isn’t it?’ Andrew’s dark blue eyes are as tranquil as the quiet ocean, and they seem to wield the power to soothe people’s worries. His voice was quite captivating. ‘As this is your first time to come to Silicon Valley, I should invite you to my home for a meal.’
‘I’m afraid this might disturb you. Would it be better to meet at a restaurant near your office?’
‘Sorry to tell you that it might not be a good idea. We’ve moved most of our offices to Venice. That’s where Zap’s headquarters is. It’s good to be its neighbour and enjoy its prettier seaview.’ The cutthroat competition between VidChat and Zapchat was too well-known in the  global tech scene. They struggled hard to persuade companies to place social ads and entertainment content on their platforms. Competing head-to-head for speed in updates on camera functions, their apps’ interface, camera filters, AR effects to attract users and production of the latest VR goggles and other compatible hardware is just their usual business. Not long after Zap Inc.’s IPO, Vid rose as if out of nowhere. The two companies’ founders were below thirty, and they shared bitter rivalry. When Andrew finally moved to Venice, sparks of enmity would surely erupt.  ‘Palo Alto’s office is now just the place to organize hackathons here. I ‘ll not work there. After the opening I’ll first return to Venice.’
Venice…..This means LA? If his Palo Alto office is only a place for running their hackathons, then why was it the origin of the virus? Is he trying me to bar me from investigating it there?
Kyle was a bit disappointed with this answer, but as the target was right in front of him, he did not wish to give up. And it seemed God listened to him.  ‘But well, I’ll still be here when the hackathon ends. That means we’ll have more time to meet.’ Andrew seemed quite enthusiastic about more contact with Kyle. ‘How about coming over to my house for lunch? Is 12pm on November 30 ok with you? I ‘ll still have to stay in Palo Alto to pack my stuff before moving to Venice, so it’s still ok for me to have a lunch with you and take you around Palo Alto.’
‘It’s very nice of you. Thank you.’  Kyle decided to wait and observe as Andrew appeared to welcome his visit. If he had any intelligence and was even a member of Olympus, he may give away some leads.
‘Andrew, sorry to interrupt.  The time for the opening speech will come soon. You still haven’t had anything, ’ Andrew’s assistant had been waiting for them for some time and he finally intervened.
‘Sorry, I have to go. I hope you’ll enjoy the hackathon.’ Before leaving both men shared their contact details  and VidChat’s accounts.
Kyle had a hard time as the hackathon progressed, as it requires participants to innovate within a very short time frame. The organizer only revealed the hackathon’s theme during the opening speech: new application of VR/AR. Kyle was paired with three steadfast Indian postgraduates who apparently knew nothing about fatigue. And they decided to create an AR exchange platform based on VidChat’s interface. This really just tested Kyle’s limited coding and hardware engineering knowledge and his ability to stay awake. They just worked on this project non-stop. When the hackathon finally ended, they celebrated and bade farewell to each other at a nearby pub. Even though he disliked alcohol, he still sipped two glasses of tequila before returning to his suite.
He had a shower and got dressed after a sound sleep. After having another big breakfast, he took a cab to Andrew’s home on Palo Alto Hills.
This meeting won’t be that simple. He shouldn’t have been so passionate about inviting a mere acquaintance to his home.
@writing-and-snark @requiemesque @ill-write-when-im-dead @adie-dee @thingswaitingtobewritten
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