#[ we're too sexy to feel bad about these as we know very well we're always our most top priorities ]

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.2

The thing is Paul just physically can't say what he feels. It's just an impossibility for him. So if he says reading a negative article about himself “doesn't help” or “it's not good” but it “doesn't get home” I just assume he means ‘It hurts, but I can't think about that too hard or I'll go into a self-hate suicidal spiral again’. 

I always love how Paul says Linda. “Linder is er, nature mad.” 

She!!

Hearing Paul talk about watching Mary be born makes me wonder if John was there with Sean? Also I wonder if Linda would talk about the experience so glowingly. Probably. She's tough as nails. I had a lovely experience, personally, after the epidural lol

“Dear friend . . . I'm in love with a friend of mine.” This is such a strange and beautiful song. It's a man who has to apologize to his friend for falling in love with someone else. At least, that's my interpretation. What's everyone else's?

I understand why he's so closed off. I do. But when John is going off every five seconds, we're missing half the picture here and it's turning out warped. They really are such a good study of attachment honestly.

“Nothing will ever break the love we have for each other.” White-knuckling my way through this section with this quote clenched in my fist.

Yoko, talking about John fighting with Paul: any couple will go from swearing to kissing and it's like that. What favors are you doing yourself here, babe? Maybe John's the PR mastermind between the two of them.

I find John's comparison of working with his romantic partner to being ambidextrous very confusing. Does he mean just doing two things at once?

“If I can't have a fight with my best friend, I don't know who I can have a fight with.” -- Intro slutty gender-fluid Wings Paul my beloved -- “Tell me why, why, why do you treat me so bad? So bad? When you're the best friend a man ever had?” I heard on some podcast somewhere. Someone was going on about how forward-thinking the Beatles were to refer to the women in their songs as “friends”. And I was like, nununununu do not give them that credit.

This is just soooo. In this era? 90 minutes in the middle of a recording session?

John: Sorry, my estranged fiance is calling, gotta take a break. Guitarist: again? Drummer: how estranged can they be if they call every three minutes? Yoko: should we just record the other parts or . . . John: (receiver cradled to his cheek, lovesick grin on his face) Hey, how was Heather's school program? Haha, yeah, I bet she was.

Okay, so you've made up with Paul and now you're done being homophobic? *Cardi b voice* well that's suspicious. 

The fact that John's asking Paul to play on stage with him in 1972?? Ugh! If it was just about legalities and money and shit I would be genuinely so pissed at Paul for not going. If only because Come Together sounds incredibly lame without his bass and piano. But also for the obvious fix-it reasons. I have to remind myself of how truly awful Klein was. By being the only one to stand firm against him, Paul actually ended up saving them all from a lot of trouble. But gosh would this have been good!

Things normal people say, for sure, for sure.

Okay in my head it went like this. John calls George and bitches about what an egomaniac Paul is because he won't do anything with him as long as Klein is involved. George gets off the phone and calls Ringo and they make a bet as to how long it is until John decides they should get rid of Klein. 

“Where's your audience, Paul?” “In the theater, Dave.” As he should. The cuntiness is unparalleled. Yeah, maybe people like to see a family friendly eclectic magic pixie sexy hard rock floor show? Ever thought about that, Dave?

Anyway, he seems genuinely pissed when the interviewer even mentions the other Beatles and he refuses to even admit he still talks to any of them. Why? 

John's just so benevolent and selfless. He's completely straight, of course, but he's always offering to do gay shit. You know. To be nice. 

I forget that not only was May their literal employee, but she was ten years younger on top of that. And yet, she managed to do so much good in that relationship. I have so much respect for her. 

There's obviously a lot going on behind the scenes that they don't say in interviews. Duh. But I wonder what it is that caused Paul to be so open and happy in this interview where he's asked about the other Beatles compared to before. I wonder if he and John had a really lovely talk, or if he's heard a demo of “I know, I know.” Or maybe it's just he's so reassured that they've got rid of Klein that he feels safe acting open to a reunion on record. Who knows, Yoko. 

So so smart to pair “In My Life” handwritten lyrics with the matching lyrics of “I know I know” playing at the same time. I forget about that connection (“I love you more”) because it's so overshadowed by the “than yesterday” right after. I seriously wonder if John thought he was being so obvious with this one the way he was with HDYS and half hoped people would ask him if it was about Paul and he could make up for the whole thing. Because it's just so heavy-handed. It's beautiful. I love it. I'm sure Paul loved it. But yeah. John's just beating us over the head with the references here. 

I also wonder (very tentatively!!!) if Paul was maybe a bit more emotionally vulnerable with John than we usually think. I would never think this except for the “you know I nearly broke down and cried” “I'm sorry that I made you cry” and “no more crying!” I don't know. What do we think? 

His little baby smirk. It's so silly and cute. He's being very positive about getting back together, and the interviewer asks if John would initiate that. Just a very coy, “a, well, I couldn't say.” I wonder if at that point if he'd said on live tv that he wanted to get together again if it would've happened. Seems like it might have, but I understand him being scared. 

Elton John taking pictures like a fan and John: I wanna impound all those photos till I get me green card. What a random idea for a commercial. I love it, obviously, it's hilarious. I wonder who thought of it. 

This doc is so good at implication. The smirk as “loving in the palm of my hand” plays. That's not a reference to hand jobs, is it? Certainly not talking to someone with beautiful hands?

Everyone go look up Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five on YouTube. The singing sex is something else, yeah, but I'm always so blown away by the piano part. The fact that he's self taught and doesn't read music and this man will go on to compose symphonies. 

[psychokinetic-ectoplasm]

💞A Valentine's Surprise💞

Pairing: Ray Stantz x Female Reader

This was a request by a friend that wasn't necessarily meant to be for Valentine's Day, but it seemed too good of an opportunity to pass up. The basic premise is Ray coming home after being out ghost-busting all day to find you waiting for him with a surprise.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Also here on Ao3

NSFW

Ray shut the door behind him by leaning back against it and taking a breath. He was exhausted, and his back was aching from lugging around a proton pack all day. All he wanted was to fall into bed and sleep for twelve hours. However, soaking in the tub for a little while sounded nice, too. Maybe he could convince you to join him…

“Hey, sweetheart, I'm home!” he called, pushing off the door and slowly making his way back toward the bedroom. He wasn't entirely sure where you were, but he knew you were here. “Man, it's been a long day… I'm beat. I know I said we could go out if I got back early enough, but if it's okay with you, I could really use some sleep. The class five full roaming vapors are one thing, but we had two possessors back to back! I got lucky this time and didn't even get slimed. Venkman and Spengler weren't so fortunate. But we're all dead on our feet. Ha, sorry… Maybe that was a bad joke…”

He paused here to yawn and run a hand through his hair. He was so tired it didn't even phase him that the bedroom door was closed, which was unusual. “There's more, but I can tell you about it later. Hey, where are—”

Ray broke off, now having opened the bedroom door and realizing why it had been closed to begin with. His jaw dropped momentarily until a smile started tugging at his lips, and his body began immediately responding. Suddenly, he didn't feel so tired anymore.

You were sitting on the bed, obviously waiting for him, wearing only some red lingerie — that left very little to the imagination — and a smile.

“Hi,” he greeted, his smile widening.

You smirked in return. “Hi.”

You'd been waiting for him for nearly an hour, and his reaction was worth every second. It was as though Ray couldn't decide where to look first, which made you chuckle. You'd definitely surprised him. And in addition to yourself, you’d set out candles, flowers, and his favorite chocolates to be enjoyed later… But Ray only had eyes for you right now.

Ray stepped further into the room, approaching the bed. “What’s all this?”

“Well, it was going to be your Valentine’s gift, but if you’re too tired…”

“You know, I’m… I’m not feeling so tired anymore.”

“Yeah?”

Ray hadn’t stopped moving and was now crawling onto the bed on all fours up to you. He stopped when you were face to face. “Yeah.” 

He then looked down, letting his gaze drift over you, taking in the tantalizing view of your breasts through the sheer fabric covering them, and then lower, his breath catching and his cock hardening further within the confines of his pants as he realized that was indeed all you were wearing. There was a tie in the front that seemingly held it all together. Ray eyed it and idly bit his lip, wondering briefly if he could undo it with his teeth…

“You got this for me?” he asked, his fingers toying with the bow but not undoing it yet.

“No, I got it for me,” you teased. “For when I want to feel sexy.”

Ray grinned and softly kissed you. “You’re always sexy. Always beautiful. And this is… wow.”

You blushed and glanced away. He always had been very good at doing that. Your sweet man… “Thank you, Ray.”

“But you know… As much as I like seeing you in this…” He felt his cheeks get warm as he thought about what he was going to say.

You lifted a hand to his face, not wanting him to feel embarrassed for whatever he was thinking. It was endearing, really, the way his lustful thoughts sometimes flustered him. “What is it?”

Ray cleared his throat, unable to help but look over you again, his hands itching to touch you. He wanted you so badly… “I think I’d like it more if it were on the floor.”

Despite your cheeks still being a light shade of pink, your coy smile was back in place. “Then what are you waiting for?”

Ray gazed at you for a moment longer before moving to kiss you again, this time with a little more insistence. You hummed and raised your other hand to his face, your thumbs caressing his cheeks as the kiss gradually deepened. He didn't stay on your lips for very long, however.

He left a trail of soft kisses down to your neck, breathing in your scent as he went. You were wearing that perfume he liked so much. It made him feel a little giddy to know you'd gone all out for him. And he certainly wasn't going to let you down.

“Ray,” you whispered, stroking his hair. It was always so soft, even after a long day of ghost busting. “As much as I love you in uniform… Aren’t you a little overdressed for the occasion?”

Yeah, yeah he was. He then chuckled against your neck when he realized he was even still wearing his boots. “Guess so. Don’t worry, that’s easily fixed.”

Reluctantly, he moved away from you and sat at the end of the bed to remove his boots before standing to strip off his flight suit. You moved to the edge of the bed, raising up on your knees to help him undress the rest of the way. You tugged off his black shirt while Ray undid his belt and pants. You couldn't help but run your hands over his chest, loving the feeling of his warm skin under your palms. You were also quite fond of his chest hair...And Ray knew it, too, as evident by the sweet but slightly smug smile on his face.

Before you could get him out of his underwear, however, he kissed you and gently pushed you back onto the bed, lying you down and hovering over you. It briefly disappointed you that he wasn't letting you feel his skin against yours until you realized why. He'd left enough space to undo the tie on the front of the teddy. 

You could tell Ray was eager, but he wasn’t rushing. He carefully untied the bow and parted the fabric with the lightest caresses on your skin, making you shiver. He broke the kiss and looked into your eyes for a moment before kissing your cheek, your jaw, and finally, your neck again.

As Ray pushed aside the fabric, he trailed his hands down your sides, leaving goosebumps in his wake. His lips were still on your neck, seeking out the sweet spot he knew would drive you wild. He loved that he knew you so well, that he could elicit such sweet sounds and reactions from you. You came alive under his hands and mouth, just as he did under your ministrations. With that thought, he lifted you just enough to get the teddy off and let it fall to the floor next to the bed.

Ray found that spot on your neck at the same time he covered your breasts with his hands. You moaned and arched into his touch. He felt like he couldn't get enough of you, between lightly sucking a mark onto your neck and kneading your breasts that fit so perfectly into his hands… You were so perfect…

“Oh, Ray,” you sighed, your fingers threading through his hair.

“I love you, baby,” he whispered, brushing his lips against your skin. “I love you so much.”

With that, he moved on from your neck and began to kiss down your chest, replacing one hand with his mouth. He licked and teased your nipple, bringing it to a peak before moving to the other side. If it were up to Ray, he would have stayed there longer, maybe even move lower to taste you, but you both were too desperate and needy now, too worked up and aroused.

Ray got off of you long enough to remove his underwear. You couldn’t help but take in the sight of him naked. He was gorgeous, perfect in every aspect. He might not think himself perfect, but you did. And you wanted him. Badly. And there was no doubt he wanted you, too.

You reached for him, pulling him back on top of you by his hands. The smile on Ray’s face was soft as he let you guide him. Once your faces were close enough, your lips met in tandem, both of you humming as your skin made contact. You hooked your legs around his hips, pulling him tightly, intimately to you. Ray rocked his hips, which allowed him to grind against you.

“Raymond,” you gasped, breaking the kiss and tugging restlessly at his arms and shoulders. “Please, I need you.”

Without a word, Ray reached between the two of you, lined himself up, and pushed into you, both of you moaning at the feeling of him stretching your walls, filling you.

He groaned and pressed his forehead to yours once he was buried to the hilt. “Sweetheart, you feel so good.”

You nodded, running your hands over his back. “Oh, so do you, Ray. God…”

Ray pulled back just a bit before thrusting back in. It was not hard or fast, not yet; he just languidly rolled his hips, both of you sighing and gasping in pleasure. And things were already so slick between you from how aroused you were that Ray glided easily in and out. Your hands caressed each other anywhere you could reach. Eventually, Ray caught your hand, sliding your palms together until you could lace your fingers together. You both loved having that point of contact whenever you made love. Both of you always marveled at how much bigger his hands were than yours, and now was no different. His were so much bigger, but they fit together so perfectly. Just like your bodies did. 

But this wasn’t enough. Both of you wanted more.

Ray rolled onto his back, taking you with him. You sat up, your hands braced on his chest — your fingers curling into his chest hair — and your breath shaky as you ground your hips on him, making you both gasp. Even just like this, the feeling of him inside you was so damn good. But what felt even better was when you finally started moving on him, rising and falling, riding him with abandon until you found a rhythm that worked for both of you. Ray’s hands were tight on your hips, helping you for a few moments before he sat up, his arms wrapping around you and his lips attaching to your neck.

You could only moan in response and throw your head back. Ray moaned, too, louder than usual because you had pushed your fingers into his hair and tugged. He always loved it when you did that…

Both of you began to get desperate after that, no longer caring about finesse or savoring the moment. Passion was driving you now. Your echoed impassioned moans and cries filled the room as you both chased your releases. Ray's moans were music to your ears, and your cries of pleasure — cries interspersed with his name — drove Ray wild.

“Ray!” you whined. “Oh, God, don’t stop!”

He groaned, one hand braced behind him so he could snap his hips up to meet your movements. “I won’t,” he panted and took in the sight of you, from how your head was thrown back, the way your breasts bounced with each movement, down to where you two were joined. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

“Raymond!”

He hummed and caught your lips with his, swallowing your moans. You were so close, so desperate for release. He was making you feel. So. Good.

“Ray, baby, please… I’m so close… So close,” you panted and whined against his lips.

Ray managed a smile. “Cum for me, sweetheart. I wanna feel you cum around me.”

“Oh, Ray!” you cried, your head falling back again as your movements faltered, your body shuddering as you came.

Feeling you cum around him sent Ray over the edge right after you, a choked moan leaving him as he pulled you tightly down onto him, letting him spill deeply within you.

You clung to each other, riding out your orgasms and trembling together. You held Ray's head against your chest, and he could hear your heartbeat. 

Once the pleasure began to ebb, Ray laid back down and took you with him. You nuzzled and softly kissed his neck as your breathing returned to normal. Even after working all day, and now after this, Ray still smelled amazing. Whatever was just naturally him was intoxicating to you.

“I love you, Raymond,” you murmured.

Ray pressed a kiss to your hair. “I love you, too, sweetheart.”

The pair of you cuddled for a little while longer before you both dragged yourselves out of bed only to properly get ready for bed. Ray got done before you, and as you walked out of the bathroom, you figured you'd find him already asleep with how tired he was, but instead, you found him sitting on the bed eating some of the chocolate.

“I thought you were dead on your feet,” you teased as you blew out the candles before cuddling up next to him.

Ray immediately wrapped an arm around you. “I am, but I worked up an appetite.” He offered you a chocolate. “Want one?”

In lieu of answering, you ate it out of his hand, making a point to let your lips slide over his fingers. Ray watched you, his jaw slack. When you noticed, you smirked up at him.

“You okay?”

“You trying to get me going again?”

You caressed his cheek and ran your thumb over the delicate skin near his eye. He looked beyond tired. “You're exhausted, Ray. I don't think you could handle it.”

Ray set the chocolates aside and lay down. You followed suit, allowing him to pull the covers over you, and snuggled up with your back against his front. Ray wrapped his arms around you, keeping you close. He softly kissed behind your ear.

“If I wasn't so tired now, I'd take you up on that challenge, but…” He could feel his eyelids already getting heavy now that he was relaxing. “I'll have to take a rain check. Maybe in the morning…”

You hummed, lacing your fingers through his and holding his hand to your chest. He was warm and solid against your back. You never felt safer than in his arms. “I'm holding you to that.”

He, too, hummed, drifting off. 

“And, Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy Valentine's Day.”

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 2, Unspeakable, Pt. 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) No language in this one; I am SHOOK! Brief mentions of sex, Tolkien nerds, the first appearance of the green-eyed monster, repressing of feelings.

Word Count: 603

Previously On...: Girls' Night with your friends led to some... interesting discussion about your friendship with Bucky.

A/N: Was this scene absolutely necessary? No. Could I resist including a moment to showcase the adorableness of Bucky and Pocket's friendship? Absolutely not.

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!)  @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp

About an hour later, you were getting ready to watch the first Hobbit movie. You'd changed into your pajamas and were getting your movie snacks in order. Bucky was sprawled atop your mattress; the two of you hardly slept apart anymore, and you alternated whose room you stayed in. Tonight was your turn to host the Nightmare Sleepover, as you'd come to call it.

"How was Girl's Night," Bucky asked as he watched you put on your lotion.

"Interesting," you replied, rubbing the lilac-scented balm into your skin. You knew how much he loved the smell of it, so you always made sure to have it on hand. "They think we're sleeping together, so they wanted all the salacious details."

"Doll," he chuckled, rolling onto his side to get a better view of you, "we are sleeping together."

You shot him an arched glance. "You know what I mean."

Bucky fiddled with his vibranium thumb and looked up at you through his lashes. "What did you tell them?"

You plopped yourself next to him on the bed, grinning. "Well, obviously, I told them you're hung like a horse and have the stamina of a steam engine, but that you always cry after you come and you insist on calling me 'mommy.' It’s fairly off-putting."

"You are an absolute menace!" He lunged for you and began tickling you without mercy. You fought him off as valiantly as you could, but you were no match for a super soldier and you both knew it.

"Yield!" you cried, breathless, a few moments later. "I yield!" He reluctantly let you go so you could catch your breath. "I told them the truth-- we're just friends," you said once you could talk again, "but they all think you're very sexy and one of them-- and I will not say which one-- said she would let you do, and I quote, ‘unspeakable things to her body.’"

Bucky's face lit up like a Christmas tree; you knew how much he relished any kind of praise. It was like physical touch-- he had been deprived of it for so long, he was starved for it. "Was it Natasha? It was Nat, wasn't it?"

The readiness at which he jumped to that conclusion left a gross feeling in the pit of your stomach. All you could do was give him a tight-lipped smile and shrug your shoulders, playing coy. You definitely did not want to examine why his comment made you feel so icky.

"We should get this movie going," you told him, instead. "Otherwise we'll be up all night." Bucky fluffed up your pillows against your headboard while you fiddled with the remote to queue up the film. Because this was Tony's place, you didn't have a regular television. Instead, your room was equipped with a projector embedded in the ceiling, and the entire wall opposite your bed was the screen. It was as good as a movie theater.

"Are you excited?" you asked as you leaned back against the pillows next to Bucky.

"Are you kidding me?" he said, scooting closer to you until your shoulders were touching and passing you an open pack of Twizzlers. "Watching an adaptation of my favorite book with my best girl? I've been looking forward to this since the moment you told me there were movies."

A warmth flooding your insides like liquid sunshine. You poked his mouth with a Twizzler until he opened up and ripped a bite off of it. Grinning, you took a bite and rested your head on his shoulder, feeling completely content in this moment with your best friend.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #29] 'Daddy'

warnings: polaroid taking, titty compliments <3, teasing, 'daddy' but not seriously lol, busan invite!!! yaaaaay!!!

a/n: last update for 2nite cos next week will be busan hehe

wc: 8k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

A soft smile rests on your lips as you wake up; the heat of Jeongguk's body keeping you warm beneath your duvet. His arm is looped over your waist, and while there's nothing inherently romantic about it, you find yourself indulging in how lovely it feels. Safe. Snug. Stable.

He eventually stirs a little later than you, squeezing you closer while his legs stretch out a little bit, and nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck. Groans.

"Morning," he says, voice gravelly, throat a little parched from the dry winter air. Your humidifier had run out of water in the night, but neither of you had been woken by the small beep that would have told you so.

Your hand drops to rest over his, and he doesn't really think much of it as he spreads his fingers for yours to sink between. It's nice, the way his body just sort of accepts yours in any capacity; the same way yours does for him. You wouldn't say you're holding hands (even if you are). Would just say you're connected. Fostering a feeling of togetherness (even if you aren't).

"Morning," you hum gently, voice also a little croaky.

Jeongguk always thinks you sound cute like this. Likes your morning voice.

You like his, too. It's a little deeper than usual. Breathy. It's just 'cause the air has dried out his throat overnight, and his vocal cords can't vibrate at their full capacity. There's logic to his lethargic-sounding voice, but you ignore it all, 'cause you like the excuse of him just being sexy.

And yet despite the attraction that comes with a husky voice, the overwhelming adoration that irritates your heart as it bubbles through your veins comes in the form of intimacy.

Jeongguk's voice sounds like this because he slept in your bed.

He sounds like this, because he feels safe enough around you to let down any and all guards.

Sure, you're no longer hunter gathers from prehistoric times, and sleeping doesn't hold the same weight as it would have done for your ancestors. There are locks on your doors in one of the safest nations in the world. To sleep doesn't mean to risk death - and yet the cautionary tales of humanity run within your veins. You're only alive because one night, thousands of years ago, someone stayed awake throughout the night to ensure their family's safety.

Falling asleep together? Well, it only confirms one thing: you're a safety zone for one another.

Or maybe not. Guess you'll never truly know.

It's all very sickening, how sweetly you think of one another. Would never admit to it. Both as bad as one another in that regard. Made for one another, some may say.

"You stayed," you say, as if Jeongguk would ever leave.

"You know I always stay," he mumbles. He's been in your bed enough times for you to know this. Why you'd ever think he'd do otherwise is beyond him. "Plus I like your shampoo. Wanna use it."

His sleepy eyes are still shut. He's only entertaining this conversation 'cause he enjoys entertaining you.

"Show up without warning, claim my bed as your own, and now you're after a shower, too?" You affectionately scold him. He squeezes you a little tighter.

"What's mine is yours, remember?" he says, echoing a statement from the night before, lips brushing against your neck so subtly that you wonder if he even realises.

He does.

"We're not married," you tell him, to which he just shrugs. Holds you even tighter, still.

"We could be."

"Would you make me sign a prenup?"

"No."

"Okay," you airily agree. It's all facetious, and carries no weight. Is just fun to joke about from time to time. Something you've done for a while, now. Will always pretend like it repulses you. "We can get married. I'll rinse you in the divorce, though."

He pouts against your skin. Huffs. "That's not fair, B."

He'd never do that to you.

"Then don't marry me," you tease, as if it's even an option. "Problem solved."

Jeongguk doesn't like this scenario.

Also doesn't like that he's started joking about marriage, 'cause he knows it's only because his brain is doing that stupid little thing it likes to do whenever he has a crush.

See, Jeongguk is bad at the whole casual thing. Made a marriage pact with Hayun before he'd even fucked her. Fancied a friend in high school and ended up studying the same optional classes as her 'cause she told him that he should. It's why he was late applying for uni. Didn't have the right set of subjects studied to be accepted onto his course, so had to take a couple extra exams.

So now he's joking with you about getting married, 'cause he's accidentally thought about it a couple of times, and doesn't wanna be the only one of you thinking about it.

It's not like they were big dreams - just little daydreams, small snippets of a 'what if' . You hardly even feature in the daydreams. Apart from that one where he imagined you both walking into a reception room after the nuptials to a crowd of your friends cheering - but, like, everyone has silly little thoughts like that! Or at least, that's what he likes to tell himself.

He's been speaking with Yoongi a lot lately about wedding plans. Decides that's what's corrupted him. He's still young. Still single. He's not ready for any of that. Not in the slightest.

"Wouldn't wanna marry you anyways," he says. "You're so not my type."

"Gguk," you deadpan. "I can feel your boner digging into my ass."

It's not a lie. It's also not because of you, you know this. Know that morning is a particularly... hard time for him.

"It's morning," he pouts. "Not my fault. I'd get a boner even if I was hugging... I don't know. A pillow. Or Jimin."

"You'd get a boner for Jimin? Does mean a threesome-"

"No," he mumbles quickly, his sleepy voice making him sound so sweet and tepid, despite the burning heat beneath his ribs. "Shush, baby. No threesome."

Baby .

A term of endearment reserved for only the most intimate of endeavours, Jeongguk has never called you it outside of sex. He knows this. You know this.

Neither of you mention it.

You simply just pretend like he never said it; like your heart isn't beating so fast you're scared it might stop.

The rule of no pet names was put in place by you; ignored by him.

Disco Ball? Fine. Whatever.

Byeol? Excusable.

B? Well, it kinda makes sense.

But baby ? God, it gets you all sorts of fucked up.

You're able to ignore the way it makes you feel, usually. Too distracted by his lips, or the need to keep yourself from coming undone. Like this, when you're being kept warm by his body, but his touches are as innocent as his voice is sleepy, it's different.

For the first time in a long time, you feel a little bit scared. He's so good with your fears, but they still exist. You've just been holding a pillow over your eyes for a few months.

The pillow is gone now; just you, him, and the cinematic-scale fears your harbour in your heart.

"A threesome would be good for you," you say, not really believing it. "You're wasted on just one girl."

He squeezes you a little tighter, for the billionth time within a fifteen-minute window. "No, I'm not."

It's lovely to indulge in such a declaration.

It means nothing, in the grand schemes of things - just that Jeongguk thinks you're worthy of his body - and yet it feels a little weightier than it really should do. It's almost as if there are rocks tied to his words, but they're disguised in pretty satin scarves, wrapped up and hidden away, only felt when they get tied to you and drag you down. Head in the clouds, feet on the ground typa shit. The kinda feeling that makes you wanna write poetry, but you haven't written anything of any substance since Seokjin.

There's a quiet sadness to the way that your broken heart always seems to spill onto pages of notebooks, but the things you really want to shout about? The things that make you smile? They never make it onto the pages of your journals.

You keep these feelings all bottled up. Wax sealed. A daisy dried into the imprint. Just for you. Yours, all yours. No one can steal them that way. They're safe.

Like you are right now; Jeongguk holding you in such a way that lets you know you'll never be truly alone, as long as he's in your life.

You're grateful.

And it terrifies you.

You know that Jeongguk is withholding something that will only hurt you.

Have done since he showed up at your place after the last Dionysus night.

Should you rip it like a band-aid, or apply pressure to stop the bleeding? It's not a choice you wanna have to make.

Yet you know you need to.

Quietly, you muster up your courage. Untangle your fingers from his. Remain in your little spoon position, but busy your hands with picking off flakes of glitter from your forearm.

"You gonna tell me what happened?" you ask, a little apprehensive of the answer you could get.

Jeongguk's grip on you doesn't ease. He keeps you close, for fear of you wanting to leave. He won't stop you, if you do, but he wants you to know that he wouldn't like that. Wants you close, even if his past actions might push you away.

He sighs. Inhales. Loves the scent of your shampoo. Your sheets. You . Your smell , his brain corrects. Loves the way you smell. Not you. God no. Fuck. No. Not at all-

"Hm?" You encourage a response, knowing that Jeongguk is probably letting his thoughts get away from him.

When things get intimate, Jeongguk's thoughts tend to go awry. He voices the most unhinged shit he thinks of, just because he can. Says stuff he'd never dream of saying otherwise.

Contrarily, in moments of vulnerability (though his thoughts are very much still awry) he stays silent. It's a curious contradiction, but one you've grown used to. You don't mind it. Understand it. Understand him.

Eventually, he speaks up. "You really wanna know?"

Sitting, you twist your body to face his. Back against your bedroom wall, you pull your legs up to your chest. "Mhhm."

Your body language says 'absolutely not', and Jeongguk knows this. Sits up too. Lets your duvet pool around his impossibly slim waist, abs on show, and the freckle on his ribs that you adore so much says 'hello'. A teeny tiny tummy roll (thanks to how awfully he's been eating during exam season) reminds you that he's still human. Still lovely, regardless. Lovely, and warm, and a little forlorn in his gaze.

It doesn't linger on you. Drops to his fingers, which twiddle in his lap. He shakes his head, hair waving ever so delicately around his pretty features. His lips part. Words try to come out. Silence prevails.

"I already know," you say quietly, to which his eyes find you again. You're looking down, now. He hates this. Hates that it's his actions that have caused it. "I mean, I don't know know. I just know something happened with Hayun."

"How?" he asks quietly. He's not rude, nor confrontational. Just curious.

You shrug. "Intuition?"

Got a shit-bag ex who taught me all the warning signs, your brain corrects you.

He seems to accept this answer, so you don't elaborate.

He's quite forthcoming, when he admits to the truth. States it plainly, just like he did with Jimin.

"She kissed me."

"When?" You ask, wanting a timeline. Thinks it might help you understand his thought process if you know the steps that led him to your apartment that night. "Where?"

He battles with his mind for a moment, but his heart wins. Honesty is owed.

"Um, like, outside. The courtyard area-"

"New years," you say quietly, not to interrupt, just to connect dots in your own head. It's embarrassing, the way shame drowns you out. It's like you're spluttering for air, but in reality, you're stoic. Not moving a muscle.

"New years," he echoes. Hates this.Wishes the conversation would just stop. Knows it can't. "We were talking and-"

"I don't need the ins and outs," you interrupt, suddenly changing your mind.

Now that he's giving you specifics, it's just making you feel worse.

That's the most confusing part, you think. You've been feeling fine about things - and yet now, seeing his guilt? Makes you feel like maybe you should feel awful, too.

Jeongguk looks down. Purses his lips. "I know. I just don't want you getting the wrong impression."

"My impression is that you kissed Hayun and then came and fucked me," you sigh, bitterly disappointed. It's exactly what you've been assuming ever since that night, but the confirmation still stings.

"No, see, that is the wrong impression, B," Jeongguk stresses. You're so casual and flippant about things, but Jeongguk knows it was anything but. "It wasn't as linear as that. I know it sounds shitty-"

"It does."

"-But it really wasn't like that at all."

It doesn't matter.

You feel like a cheap consolation prize, regardless. Sort of like Jeongguk only came to you because Hayun decided she didn't want him after all.

It's stupid really. Your pride is getting in the way of things. Your disdain for Hayun? Even more so.

If he explained the what, the when, the why, the who, the how, you'd know that Jeongguk really didn't mean to make so many bad decisions. The only good decision that night, he thinks, was coming to see you - but even that, he managed to fuck right up.

The thing that pushed Jeongguk to leave Dionysus that night?

Wasn't Hayun. Wasn't Danbi rightfully giving him a piece of her mind. Wasn't any of that.

It was a choice that he had made earlier in the night.

Sick of his eyes searching for you in the crowd and always drawing blanks, Jeongguk had gone searching for you. Yeonjun had no clue where you were at this point, and had suggested maybe you'd already left.

You hadn't. Were just in the girls bathroom with Danbi, and some college girls who were in awe of the glitter (so naturally, you were turning them into glitter girlies too, free of charge).

Nonethewiser, Jeongguk tried his luck dipping from the club and heading to the next street over to where the arcade was. Less than a minute walk. Again, you were nowhere to be found - but the machine you had been at was currently free of punters.

Sure, maybe he spent a little too long trying to win the My Melody plushie, but he was drunk , and it felt important . He almost gave up after he got the Cinnamoroll, but couldn't. Had convictions. Was determined. Was gonna get your stupid, adorable plushie no matter what.

And he did.

Of course he did.

He's Jeongguk. There's nothing he can't do, when his heart's really in it.

Looked for you upon his return. Didn't realise you were still in the bathrooms, this time consoling a girl who had just seen her boyfriend kissing one of her friends. Classic, really. A little liquor and so many men seem to think that cheating is okay. Will cry about it being a mistake, but you know damn well the mistake is getting caught in the act, not the act itself.

His final port of call had been the staff room. Tossed the plushie down on the sofa. Sighed. Lamented the way things had changed since you'd last been together in Dionysus. Knew it was all his fault. Wondered if it was really worth it.

If Hayun was worth it.

He knows the answer, now. Had to experience it to really be sure, but he already knew. Deep down, he always has done.

But she'd entered the staff room when he was all sad and doe-eyed over you, and convinced herself that maybe it was her making him feel this way. Invited him to get some air. He'd needed a friend. Had lied to himself so well about the nature of the relationship that she was only ever a friend, he had seemed to think maybe she was. Maybe it'd be good to talk with her.

Lessons have been learned. Mistakes made. Decisions done.

"Should have told you first, I know," he says quietly, eyes on his hands. Looks up at you. Wishes you would look at him. "I'm sorry, Byeol. I'm sorry, and if I could re-do the events of that night, I would - butI I can't, so. This is where we're at. Fucked up, then I fucked you. Kinda poetic, in a way."

You snort out a disapproving laugh. "Yeah, if you were a teenager on tumblr in 2014."

"Not even gonna pretend to know what that is," he says, genuinely clueless to what a tumblr is, and why 2014 is relevant. "But B, we both know I didn't come here that night with the intention of fucking you, I never... Look, I'm sorry that I let it happen. All I can do is promise you that it won't happen again."

Men have promised they'd move mountains for you before. You'll believe it when you see it.

"What won't happen again?" you ask, a little petulantly. "You fucking me, or you kissing Hayun?"

Being childish right now will do no one any favours.

Will make you feel vindicated for a split second, mind you.

"Well..." Jeongguk begins, but stops himself from finishing.

He means Hayun.

Is done with it. Done with her.

Hates what's become of your friendship since her return. The loss of your closeness aches more than the residual pining feelings for her have ached in the last year. The way he once felt about her is not representative of who he is now.

"Well?"

"Well, kissing is intimate," Jeongguk says with a curt sense of authority. He's speaking your opinions as if they're universal truths.

"It is," you agree.

"I don't really think it's appropriate to be intimate with a girl my best friend hates."

"Hate is a strong word," you say, hiding a smile.

"I think it's just the right strength, here."

You know what Jeongguk is saying. He's speaking in tongues, but you're well acquainted with his. It's easy to decipher.

Yet you're an insolent little brat when you want to be, and so you twist his words. Not to be malicious, just to get confirmation.

"Hayun told me she was your best friend," you tell him. "And I'm pretty sure she hates me, so... you're saying we shouldn't kiss?"

"You rarely ever let me kiss you anyways, B," Jeongguk reminds you with a fond smile. Thinks he'd settle with never kissing you again if it meant he still got to banter with you. "But no, you idiot. Hayun says a lot of shit. You shouldn't listen to her. You're my best friend."

He's heard it with his own ears. Had always shrugged her mean comments off. Hasn't been able to shake the way he heard her speak about you. Tried, for a while. Just ended up making him feel like a shitty friend.

You deserve people in your corner. If Danbi was acting like besties with someone who had been cruel about you, he'd be pissed off. Thinks she had every right to criticise him in the way she had on that evening.

Despite being at his little party last night, Danbi had barely spoken to him.

Had looked at his neck. Raised her brows. Asked, "Well, are you being nice to her? I sure hope you are. And I sure hope those are from her, otherwise you're in for a world of pain, my friend," and then walked away before Jeongguk could even reply.

Danbi scares him.

Is pretty sure she scares Tae, too, but he seems to get off on that. To each their own, and all that.

"B, I don't wanna fight with you," he says, holding out his hand.

For reasons you can't, or simply won't, explain, you accept it. Toy with his fingers as your hands rest on top of your duvet. Trace his knuckles. Admire his tattoos. Relish in the serenity of him.

"Don't wanna fight, either," you sigh. Glance up at him, only to realise he's looking at you with such crestfallen need for forgiveness that it feels like the only thing you can do. "And, hey, maybe it was good. Me being mad at you gave me a little push in the right direction."

"Oh?" Jeongguk questions. His skin feels all hot. Prickly. He doesn't like it. "How so?"

You think nothing of it as you admit to the date you had last night. Jeongguk asks for his name. Nods when you tell him it. Asks for specifics. His career path - "sounds boring" ; his hobbies - "meh" ; his charms - "I have a dimple, too. See? Look, and I get dimples when I smile like this, too!"

As you're explaining the night before, Jeongguk is hunting for one of his shirts amongst your clothes. Says he wants to get a drink from the convenience store.

In reality, he just doesn't wanna have to look you in the eyes, just in case they sparkle for Seojoon.

"You're too competitive for your own good, Gguk," you laugh. "I'm not gonna ditch you for another guy. Unlike some of us , I'll keep my best friend around even if I do fall disastrously in love."

"Okay, one - I kept you around!" He protests, rummaging through the clothes on your desk chair for one of his shirts. There's definitely one in the pile. You're sure of it. "Two - who said anything about love ? I wasn't! Are you going to be in love?!"

Jeongguk can never really hide his emotions. He tries. Really hard. Always fails. His competitive edge is showing now in a way that it never has done before. He really is feeling threatened by Seojoon.

He's stupid, you think. You're not gonna ditch him. Would miss him too much.

Sure, you'll need to iron out the nature of your sleepovers, but that'll just be a small change - and fuck ! You've only been on one date. Hardly falling in love, are you?

"No!" You laugh. "Christ, Gguk. It's only been one date."

"But there's gonna be more?" He asks, still rummaging. Has already found a shirt. Just doesn't wanna face you right now. "You're gonna see him again?"

"Well maybe," you admit. "I don't know yet. He hasn't asked."

Jeongguk pretends like he isn't satisfied with that answer.

Again, he fails to compel this narrative. The little hum he chirps gives him away.

But then he's thinking about the reason you went on that stupid date in the first place, and wants to explain himself again. Really wants you to know how shitty he feels about it.

"About the Hayun stuff," Jeongguk begins, glancing over to you, but you just shake your head.

"Why waste your time explaining it away?" You ask with a small shrug and eyes so sincere Jeongguk thinks you could end world wars. Eyes he thinks he'd go to war for .

Silly thoughts, for a silly boy, who's engaging in silly conversations that makes his heart feel anything but silly.

It feels serious. Stern. Secure in his understanding of his feelings, but too scared to do anything about them. Especially now.

"I don't love your choices," you continue, not trying to be critical, but wanting him to understand why you aren't lingering on the situation. "But we learn from our bad decisions, no? We make mistakes so that in future we can make things right."

"It doesn't mean I shouldn't feel bad about it," he says quietly, eyes down.

"Well, what will beating yourself up about it do? Will just make you feel crappy - and like, don't get me wrong, I think you deserve to feel shitty for fucking me without telling me-"

"I do."

"But I'm not hung up on it," you stress. Really, you're not. "You feeling bad about it will make me feel like I should feel bad about it."

If Jeongguk was elated about his choices, enthusing about Hayun, then yes - you'd feel awful.

Thing is, his distress is written all over his pouty little face. There's nothing about even kissing her that he seems to enjoy. Not anymore.

Or at least, even if he liked it in the moment, the aftermath seems to have catapulted him into a near-permanent state of disgust. That's enough to make you feel alright about things.

"Okay," you sigh when you see his frown hasn't eased up. "Tell me one thing: do you still want her?"

The way Jeongguk recoils with a crease between his brows almost instantly says it all.

"Christ, B. No. Obviously not"

Cherry on top.

"Well, I mean she can have you," you tease, pleased to be smiling through such a conversation. Progress has been made.

"I don't want her," he insists, and it really does boost your ego.

"Should have thought about that then, shouldn't you?" You smirk with a raised brow.

Jeongguk throws his shirt at you. Whines. "Cut me some slack, B. I said I'm sorry."

The conversation dissolves into nothingness - Jeongguk asking you what you want from the shop, and you asking him what he wants to watch on Netflix when he gets back. Will only be gone for a few minutes, but it'll give you a chance to breathe and process the morning's revelations.

He slips on a pair of your jeans - mom cut, and shrugs when he looks in the mirror. Thinks they don't look too bad. A bit baggy, and loose on his hips thanks to your curves, but nothing that a belt can't solve. For a quick run to the shop? They're fine. Will do the job. Saves him from wearing sweats again, and given his near-constant state of boner this morning, sweats are not a wise idea.

The waistband of his Calvins peek out from the top of the jeans, framing his hips like they're a work of art deserving a place in the Louvre.

You sort of think they are. Think he's got a body that deserves to be admired. Worshipped. Appreciated. Know that you're more than capable of doing all of those things.

"Take a picture," he smirks, when he catches you looking.

You're unashamed.

Sure, your cheeks blush a little bit, but you just keep drinking in the sight of him. So often his body is shrouded in darkness when your hands are running over it - but you can see him, now. See the ridges of his abs, and the way they move ever so gently as he exerts a little energy.

Nodding towards the shelf just behind him, where your old polaroid sits prettily amongst some other tat, you smirk right back. "Gimmie it and I will."

You expect shyness - and get shyness, Jeongguk's smile a little scrunched as a soft giggle escapes his lips - but you don't expect for him to actually reach over for it.

"How do you work this thi- oh!" He exclaims as he presses down on the button that extends the lens.

It's not a proper polaroid, just an old instax that has seen better days, but it does the job well enough for you not to trade it in.

Honestly, you rarely use it these days. Maybe once a year, if you're lucky. You've no idea if it has any film in it - but as Jeongguk points it towards you, not bothering to adjust the exposure settings ('cause he doesn't realise it's needed) and presses down on the shutter button, it's confirmed that there is, indeed, still film in it.

"Oh, shit," he laughs, as if he wasn't the one who very deliberately took a photo.

He's not that stupid. He knows how cameras work. The mechanical whir as the photograph pushes itself out of the slot is nostalgic; a reminder of times that were simple.

He shakes the polaroid a little as he passes the camera over to you, looking at the empty photograph with a small pout.

"Takes a couple of minutes," you explain. "Put it on my desk, let it develop."

He does as he's told, believing you without hesitation. You've honestly no idea what you're supposed to do while they process.

Shake it - no! Don't shake it. Keep it out of the light. No! Give it light! No put it in the light for a minute only.

Everything you've ever been told about polaroids has been contradictory, and you enjoy the chaos too much to actually figure things out.

Holding the polaroid camera to your eye, you're smiling as Jeongguk decides to pose like an absolute tool. Muscles tensed, arms up in swan position, he looks like he's trying to compete for a place in Men's Health magazine.

"You're so stupid," you murmur affectionately.

"Stupid hot ," he corrects.

"Mmm," you hum as you press down on the shutter button, a flash lighting up your room. "Like a real-life Calvin Klein model."

He pings the top of his briefs against his skin with a teasing wiggle of his brows.

"Careful, or you'll speak it into existence," he assures you. "And then everyone will want me."

"So?" You laugh. "Am I supposed to feel threatened?"

Jeongguk's met many girls in his lifetime. Watched many on screen, and seen just as many in magazines. Gorgeous women. Beautiful women. The kind of women he'd be lucky to have - and yet, if were to be honest about his feelings for once in his damn life, he'd say 'no' .

No Hollywood star could ever compare to his star.

Instead, he deflects.

"Threatened? Huh," he smirks. Shakes his head to the side, like a dog with an itch. He's quite puppy-like, when you think about it. All doe-eyed and charming. Exquisitely cuddly and notoriously boisterous. Cute - and yet that smirk of his? The toned muscles of his chest? Sin . "You jealous?"

Scoffing, you roll your eyes. "I'm not the jealous type."

Jeongguk presses his lips together, still smiling. Nods. Eyes sparkling, his tongue toys with his lip ring a little, the freckle beneath his bottom lip on full display.

Shakes his head. "I think that's a lie."

Oh, how insufferably right he is - but you're not gonna give him the satisfaction, even if you're both well aware of it.

"I've never been jealous in my life," you say with a small giggle as Jeongguk prowls towards the bed. You lift the polaroid to your eye, and press down on the shutter button once more.

He doesn't imagine it's a great angle.

He's wrong.

"No?" He flirts, taking the camera from your hands as he gets himself between your legs.

He's sitting on his knees, with his thighs hooked beneath your legs. The hand that isn't holding your camera - the tattooed one - pushes the shirt you're wearing up a little. Reveals your underwear, and the bottom of your cute little tummy. There's a softness to you that he likes. Gets him hard .

"Shame," he shrugs. "I get jealous."

"I could tell," you assure him, as if your heart isn't beating a mile a minute. Something about Jeongguk like this - half-dressed, Calvins, body on show just for you - really gets you all hot and bothered.

The tips of his fingers stroke your skin, until they meet the top of your lace underwear. His thumb dips. Presses down on your clit, the thin piece of material the only obstruction.

You gasp, because of course you do, and Jeongguk feels vindicated. Thinks he'll never need to be jealous, 'cause no one is ever gonna make you feel like he does. Knows that he'll try his goddamn hardest to keep things as they are right now, 'cause he's had a taste of what it could feel like to lose you.

He doesn't want that - and yet he feels the need to preserve things as they are, just in case. Knows that Seojoon exists, and doesn't like the prospect of what that could mean for the future.

He raises the camera to his eye. Looks down at you.

"Chess?" He asks, giving you the option of an 'out' that only the two of you understand.

"You finally gonna teach me how to play?" You banter back, knowing that he wasn't asking you to play. He's checking consent before he presses on the shutter button.

It will produce just a single image. One for you to keep; proof that once upon a time, Jeon Jeongguk had touched you so indecently angels would weep. The sins you commit with him feel like heaven on earth, so how could they blame you? You're sure when you reach the pearly gates, they'll understand - though heaven wouldn't really be worth it, you think. Not when you've already experienced Nirvana with him.

"Not if you don't want me to," he says, his intentions thinly veiled as he lowers the camera to look at you.

There's innocence in his dark eyes; an elixir you just want to bottle up to preserve for a rainy day. His thumb is still pressed against your most intimate of areas, languid in its subtle movements, just to remind he's there. Willing. Wanting. Waiting.

"So chess, or no chess?"

He's too far away for your hands to reach him properly, so you simply tap beneath his hand to encourage the camera further up, indicating that he should realign it with his sight.

"No chess."

Slow as he makes sure he's got the perfect angle, Jeongguk presses deeper against you. Has you humming in anticipation of more substantial touches.

The camera flashes, a mechanical buzz accompanying your bated breaths. He can't have captured much, you think, knowing the camera well. Will likely just be his hand, probably, and the part of you it was taking ownership of.

The photo begins to slide out of the slot at the top of the camera, but Jeongguk's hands are full. He nips the edge with his teeth. Pulls it out. Keeps it there. Realigns the camera. Lets go of your pussy to push your shirt up your stomach.

"Up," he instructs, teeth gritted thanks to the polaroid, letting you take over the removal of your shirt. Your body is bare, save for the pair of underwear he's been toying with, your chest now his to play with - but he doesn't. Not really. Just holds one of your tits in his firm grip. Tells you to hold the other one. You comply. The camera flashes again.

He spits the polaroid between his teeth to the side. It's developing now. He doesn't dare look at it. Another, arguably worse one is printing out anyways. Again, his teeth nip at the edge and pull it out.

"You'll use all the film," you say softly, a fondness to the way you're scolding him. He discards the polaroid between his teeth, a smile on his pretty lips.

"I'll buy you more," he says as his hand strokes up your chest and sinks to where your bird should be. "Still missing a necklace."

Oh, on the contrary, you think.

"Shame."

Camera still by his eye, Jeongguk lines up the perfect shot: the top of your chest, collarbones sparkling in your bedroom light, his hand wrapped around the base of your throat. Careful not to include your face, he thinks it's a shame. Would have quite liked your pouty lips as part of the picture, too.

He squeezes his hand as the camera flashes.

Pulling the polaroid out with his fingers this time, he shakes it gently. Finds the other photos scattered around your body and tosses them in a neat pile beside your bed.

"Gimmie," you say, scrunching your hands out in a bid to retrieve the camera. There's no protest. He sort of wants you to take pictures of him, too.

Wants evidence that you once wanted him as badly as he seems to want you.

"Where do you want me?" He asks, a little shy now the camera is back on him.

Aligning focus, you hold out your hand, and let the tips of your fingers trail down the ridges of his torso. Jeongguk glances down to watch your hand, so focused on your dainty touches that he barely even notices the flash going off.

"Only two shots left," you say quite contently as you perch the camera on your bedside table, the polaroid still printing. You'll check it later. "Should save them for something important."

He raises a brow. Looks genuinely confused. "Your tits are important."

With a laugh, you shake your head, hair tangling against your pillow. Cupping your tits for a little support (and warmth) you simply say, "not if you're an ass guy."

Jeongguk's whole entire face scrunches up, to the point where his lip ring does the thing, but you can't focus on it. He looks too cute. Stroking the tops of your thighs adoringly, Jeongguk sighs.

"Look, I'm not saying I'm not an ass guy anymore, but, like - shit , B."

He reaches up to rest his hands over yours, but you slide yours out so that his are making direct contact with your tits. Putting your hands back on top of his, you encourage him to squeeze them, which earns you a whine from his prettily pouted lips.

"Love your tits. Absolutely corrupted me, they have."

"I know," you say smugly. "You're welcome."

"I'm not thanking you," he laughs, rolling your nipples between his fingers. The arching of your back gets his cock throbbing. You're so easy to work up. So is he, though. "Ruined me."

He loves your laugh, but loves it catching in your throat as he spanks the soft flesh of your chest even more so.

He doesn't let the sting linger; soothes your skin immediately. Mutters to himself, with a shake of his head. "Absolutely ruined."

"Careful," you tease. "Or I'll start thinking you're a tit guy."

"I'll eat your ass just to prove I'm not," he banters back - but then you twist beneath him. Get on your front. Ass up for him, just how he likes.

"Alright, then," you challenge.

"B," he husks, gripping onto your ass with one hand and stroking down your arched back with the other. Poised so that you can see the mirror across the room, there's something sordid about watching Jeongguk like this.

Desire becomes him. There's nothing about his mind, body nor soul that doesn't want you in this moment, and it's written all over his skin. He has to have you. Will simply die if he can't.

"Yeah?" You reply sweetly, and he just knows you're gonna be in one of those moods - a mood he loves, but a mood he knows is no good for the way you make his heart beat these days.

"Behave yourself," he husks. "We both know we shouldn't."

It hasn't been discussed, but he's got a point. You know you should be practising a little more self-restraint.

"I won't tell if you don't."

His grip gets tighter. Jiggles your soft flesh a little. Gets him gritting his teeth. Cursing.

Your body jolts forward as he spanks you, just once. It's so satisfying.

"Shouldn't play with your food before you eat it," you smirk, knowing just the way to wind him up.

Yeah, Jeongguk thinks to himself. You're definitely one of those moods.

It's the bratty type. The 'wind him up just because it's fun' type - but two can play at that game.

"Want me to eat it, huh?" He husks.

"Mhmm," you whine a little as he massages your skin.

His hands are strong, but his determination to not let your brattiness win? Oh, even more so.

"God, you're filthy for me, aren't you baby?" He husks. Knows how much baby gets you. Uses it deliberately.

"Mhmm," is all you can whine in anticipation of something, anything, to relieve the ache in your pussy. Have been horny all week, but unable to act upon it without thinking about him - and you were mad at him. Didn't wanna be thinking about him at all, let alone as you came.

"My pretty little slut, aren't you?" He praises, fingers toying with your lace underwear. The slickness of your pussy seeps through the fabric. Gets him all wet and dirty, just how he likes it. "Cunt just begging to be fucked, but it's your ass you want eaten."

"Koo," you whine .

He's rarely ever mean in bed, but it always gets you even hornier than usual when he is. It's the juxtaposition, you think. A man as kind and charming as Jeongguk should not be as unhinged as you know he truly is.

"What have I told you about calling me that?" He laughs. "Don't fuckin' do it."

It's not that he doesn't like it. In fact, it's quite the opposite. He likes it too much.

"Why not?" You ask, because again, it's one of those moods - so Jeongguk decides that if you wanna fuck with him, he's gonna fuck with you instead.

"'Cause you're gonna address me properly, aren't you, baby?" He says, thankful you aren't looking at him, 'cause a smile is tugging at his lips.

He's got a plan. Doesn't know if you'll play along. Hopes you will. Knows that there's no way you'll fuck him if it goes right - and that's sort of what he's hoping for. The pair of you simply have no self-control, so he's trying to create some.

"What am I gonna call you?" You whine as he rubs over your panties with his long fingers.

"What do you think, baby?" he teases. "Use that pretty little head of yours, baby girl."

God. You're gonna die.

"Koo," you whine, because of course you do. There's only one name that compliments baby girl - and you don't wanna say it.

What you do want? Right now? Is for Jeongguk to fuck you so hard it makes you booking the entire day off worth it.

"Uh, uh, baby," he says as he holds your cunt. Absolutely takes ownership of it. Gets you all whimpery and whiney - and when he starts being nice? Oh, fuck . You're done for. Death imminent. "Use that pretty, perfect brain of yours. You're so smart, aren't you? You know what to call me."

Jeongguk would be lying if he said his cock wasn't throbbing. Your mom jeans - the ones that were baggy - appear tight now, thanks to his hardness.

You take a second. Assess how much dignity you stand to lose from 'addressing him properly', and decide you're too horny to care.

"You think I'm smart, Daddy?"

Glorious , Jeongguk thinks. Not the name. Just that he managed to get you to say it, and mean it. His power knows no bounds. This is fucking fantastic .

"There you go, baby girl," he praises, pushing your panties to the side so that he can get a good look at just how messy you are. He thinks he'll die almost immediately. "So smart. You like being smart for me, don't you?"

You can't believe you're gonna say it again. And yet -

"Yes, Daddy," you nod into your pillows, 'cause the anticipation of Jeongguk doing something - anything - to your pussy right now is simply too much.

" Too smart, almost. I'm gonna have to fuck you so hard you can't think straight," he tells you. Smirks to himself. His breathy laugh echoes around the room. "Gonna be a dumb slut on my cock, aren't you?"

"Fuck," you moan, not willing to subject yourself to another 'daddy' - but Jeongguk pushes his luck.

"Who?" he insists. "Who you gonna be fucking?"

You roll your eyes, not that he can see it. Can't believe you're doing this. Can't believe you kinda like it, either. "You, Daddy."

"Hmm," Jeongguk hums with great satisfaction, giving you a very gentle but curt spank, before rolling back down beside you.

You're confused. Worried .

And then Jeongguk is chuckling to himself. "That was easier than I thought."

You sit up instantly.

Mouth ajar, you turn your head judgmentally, reaching a conclusion that is gonna earn Jeongguk the bluest balls he's ever had. You'll make sure of it.

"What?!"

"What?" He smirks right back.

"That was easy? " You question, still confused, but also aware that despite the raging boner he has, a fuck is not what he's after.

Maybe he wants to be blue balled.

Weirdo.

"Yeah," he smirks, then fucking giggles to himself. "I got you calling me Daddy . God, you're so willing to do anything for my cock, B. It's so cute."

His smile prevails as he giggles, finding much amusement in playing you at your own bratty game.

"Oh my God," you wail. "I fucking hate you! You know I hate 'Daddy'."

"And yet you'll do it for my cock," he laughs even harder, now. "Oh, it's adorable. Really really sweet."

"I'm ending our friendship."

"No you aren't," he tells you, reaching for your wrist to pull you back down into your sheets with him - and for reasons you (again) don't care to explain, you just let him.

"I am," you assure him, even though you're kinda now snuggling into him.

"Don't disobey your daddy, baby," he jokes.

"I'll send him to an early grave if he isn't careful," you warn, but it only cracks him up even more.

"So you admit it?" he teases. "I am your Daddy?"

"Oh my God!"

"I'm your God, too? Wow, you really are being kind today-"

He's interrupted by your dainty hands covering his mouth. "Shut your face."

Jeongguk just laughs. Knows he'll probably just make it up to you with a quick fuck, if you let him.

The cursed thing about it all?

You probably will let him.

'Cause even though you hate Daddy, and you hate feeling embarrassed, and you hate not understanding your feelings, you do understand that nothing feels quite as calm as the aftermath of time spent in bed with Jeongguk.

It's the orgasms, you tell yourself. He makes you calm when he makes you cum. There's probably a science behind it. You're not gonna google it, 'cause you don't wanna be proven wrong.

"Put a shirt on," you huff. "You're paying for the snacks this time. You owe me, like, I don't know. Three weeks worth of snacks for that little stunt."

And so when Jeongguk returns from the shop a little while later, you're pleased to see he really did buy enough snacks to last at least a month, if not longer.

"Was meaning to ask you," Jeongguk says as he unpacks one of the bags while you scroll through the Netflix home page. "When are you next in work?"

You're yet to tell him you booked the day off because of his exam. Now Wednesday, you have Thursdays off as usual. The Friday shift pattern changes most weeks depending on who needs it off, but this week, you've managed to get it off, too. Saturday will be your first shift.

"Well," Jeongguk says. "I missed a bunch of family events 'cause I was studying all the time. I'm probably gonna head over to Busan this evening just to show my face for a night or two. Keep mum happy."

"That's cute," you smile. "She'll appreciate it, I'm sure."

He nods. Knows she will. Feels bad for being a bit of a shitty son in the last few weeks.

"I know things have been a bit mad with Tae's shows, and just... Well, everything," Jeongguk staggers his words, a little unsure of himself. For once, he fears your rejection.

"Mhmm," you agree. "Been crazy."

"Yeah," he nods. "Sea air helps, though. You wanna come with?"

"To Busan?" you clarify.

For some reason, it feels like your heart is in your throat. You might throw it up entirely.

"To Busan," he reinforces. Turns to face you. "With me. Busan. You wanna come?"

"Do you want me to come?" You ask, not wanting to be a charity case 'cause he feels bad about the whole 'Daddy' thing.

Jeongguk doesn't feel bad about the 'Daddy' thing in the slightest. He genuinely just wants you to come with him.

"I'll get bored on the drive if I'm alone," he shrugs. "Plus mum keeps asking why I don't have a girlfriend yet and if I introduce her to someone as repulsive as you, maybe she'll stop insisti-

"Oh fuck you," you laugh. "Mothers love me."

"Yeah, sure they do," he teases, knowing full well his mum will think you're the greatest thing he's brought home since his first-grade report card.

"I'll prove you wrong," you say, not that you have to. Jeongguk is just winding you up. "Your mum is gonna like me more than she likes you."

"So you're gonna come with?"

You bite down on your bottom lip. Ignore the conventions of a relationship that are looming over the pair of you both. Nod.

"Yeah. I'll come with."

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

[separatist-apologist]

What are some of your favorite fanfics? You can only include up to 2 LB fics

I was going to wait to answer this in the morning because it's so daunting an ask. But I have to be in office tomorrow and I know I won't have the time, and then I'll forget about this. It's been a long time since anyone asked me my personal favorites.

I put some of them in yesterday's list of elucien recs, so definitely start here. I have to cross post a little, though. None of these are in order, this is actually not a ranking but the opposite of a ranking in which every one is incredible, and written by very wonderful people worth following.

playgirl, by @damedechance. I love this fic. Lucien has an only fans, Elain moderates his chat. She was the first gwynriel writer I ever read. You know I'm weird about Azriel- I don't really enjoy him, but in bookclub, her fic was being recommended CONSTANTLY and I gave it a shot thinking I'd hate it, and she made me insane. The gwynriel fic is Things You Can't Have, and I suggest reading it, too.

Latch, My Fate is Yours; Latch, My Very Soul is Yours by @labellefleur-sauvage. Elucien mummy au and so beautifully done. The author is also an VERY funny person and I recommend anything she writes (such as her 1920's Neris fic And All That Jazz) on vibes alone.

Our Bodies, Possessed By Light @iftheshoef1tz. Azris at its FINEST. If you like Azriel and Eris as a pairing, and you want something that is both achingly beautiful and well-plotted, this is it. This is the fic. Honestly, even if you don't want that, you should read it anyway. It's sexy, it's funny, it's emotional and it's poetic. I think about this fic (the cabin specifically because I'm slutty) all the time.

Crimson Clover, by @thesistersarcheron. Baby's first elriel fic, I heard the sentence "Elain covered in blood" and dropped everything I was doing to learn more. Elain is, in fact, covered in blood and Azriel is pretty insane about it. This author also has a fic bookclub is obsessed with, Viciousness & Intelligence which is Nesta x Cassian x Azriel in a poly bond and another of my personal favorites, Bejeweled in which Feyre is Night Court fae made entirely of jewels and Rhys is...well...down bad as he always is.

Embers, by @ultadverb is my favorite Morlain fic in the fandom. It's so richly written and such a good exploration of Elain and her feelings. She really does Elain such justice. I have it on VERY good authority she's also working on a little monster elucien, and right after I typed that I saw she's actually posted the first chapter, Seven Tears for the Sea, which is selkie Lucien, coastal Elain, I believe. I will be reading that for sure, just as soon as I finish this list, but everyone else should too!

I Believe the Word You're Looking for is "Friends" by @kingofsummer93. Truly Elucien 101 required reading. It's actually on the made-up syllabus I just created in my mind. If you're wanting to settle into a long fic, canon-compliant, adventure fic, THIS is it. Also, people are always asking for BOE smut, well she has so GRACIOUSLY provided it with The Intimacy of Being Understood

Remember, We're Madly In Love by @velidewrites. Have you ever seen one of those really gorgeous mood boards floating around and asked yourself, is that person also an incredibly sexy writer, too? Well I'm here to answer that question with a resounding YES. This is hunger games Feysand and if you've been thinking about reading it, stop thinking and start doing. I don't know when I became a sales person during this sharing of faves, but here we are I guess.

Vanserra Wildlife Rescue by @headcanonheadcase. In the haze that was elucien week, where everyone was creating and I was trying so hard to see all of it (and failing miserably), this fic was a gem. It's meet cute Elucien- he's a wildlife vet, she finds an injured fox. They're both on their way to a blind date (I wonder who they're meeting), and instead cancel to take care of the fox.

Can't Help It by @moodymelanist. This fic was literally why I decided to answer this anon. Nesta and Cassian are in a very toxic relationship but can't keep away from each other. I LOVE this fic, I love their dynamic and without spoiling it, there is a threesome I am still so deeply unwell about, even to this day.

Wonderland by @c-e-d-dreamer. The premise is SO GOOD. Nesta rejects the mating bond and Cassian rejects society. They reconnect later on, and the angst is SO DELICIOUS.

This list is getting really long- I could do this all day, actually. As for my top two @the-lonelybarricade favorites, which is cruel just fyi.

I'm gonna go with

You Look Like Bad News- Elain's neighbor has an annoying habit of fucking REALLY loudly next door.

And of course,

They Are The Hunters, We Are The Foxes, which is the best thing ever produced in the history of ever. Wonderland WHO? This is the shifter elucien romance we deserved, actually.

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH / 1.3 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

'so he's a fancy man with a fancy ship, and he travels with a brigade of imbeciles.'

'he bested you at swordplay.'

'it was an ambush. completely unprofessional.'

'would you rather we just attack them, kill them, throw them out to the sharks?'

'i want to handle this personally.'

'we want to make a good impression.'

'instead of killing with weapons, he kills with... kindness.'

'polite menace. that'll be my brand.'

'as i said before, i'm not the strongest writer.'

'since we're on the subject of bad vibes...'

'he's kind of bringin' everyone down, bit of a pirate pooper.'

'nah, i was just gonna say kill him.'

'oh, cut off all his limbs and turn his back into a table.'

'what ya need... is a fence.'

'it's become quite touristy, i've heard, and just not as cool anymore.'

'you mean for the thing with her husband?'

'the thi... yes, the thing where you killed him.'

'she's got, like, twenty husbands.'

'that's different. ese bastardito caught me unawares.'

'maybe in your next life, you'll be a little less nosey, huh?'

'i don't think that's a good idea, us being on the same team and all.'

'you made a wise decision today, and i feel really good about this.'

'you don't know what it's like in there!'

'oh god, why're you so sweaty?'

'we have been exercising together because we want our bodies to be smaller.'

'i'm glad you're making friends, but tighten up, mate.'

'i need your help getting me dressed for the big day.'

'i remember when this place was gritty.'

'quite the hellish cesspool.'

'make people feel underdressed, and suddenly you're the one in charge.'

'no, no, no, no, no! oh god, this isn't happening!'

'aww, come on! you couldn't have sidestepped?'

'man for sale! man for sale! healthy, sturdy, obedient man for sale!'

'i think you might wanna adjust the pitch because it's quite unclear what you're selling.'

'check out this fabulous booty i'm hawkin'!'

'someone, buy my booty!'

'he thinks you're a prostitute.'

'i'm no prostitute, mate!'

'we could've made magic.'

'it's a shithole. there's a lot of crime, and, uh, diseases, and, uh, poorly mixed drinks.'

'does look a bit scary in there.'

'i'm gonna need you to hold it together.'

'look tortured.'

'this is not keeping a low profile.'

'you have got some world-class, rock-hard absolutely titanic balls coming in here.'

'you know, i actually thought you'd be dead by now.'

'i actually thought you were kind of mad at me, if i'm honest.'

'well, i kind of recommended you hire a waitress who stabbed your favourite husband up, so.'

'the bitch who stole my life. the bitch who stole my joy.'

'thought it were kind of gauche if i'm honest.'

'what about your sexy little friend over there?'

'i mean, we serve that. do you want blood?'

'it's juice from the nose jar.'

'for some inexplicable reason, my boss would like a word with you.'

'tell him he's got terrible taste in flunkies, and he can go suck eggs in hell.'

'to my dead hubby!'

'i keep an altar to him in the back with a couple of his mementos.'

'now give me back my dagger.'

'i loves me a thief.'

'you're stiff in all the wrong places.'

'i got bad news for you, genital pirate.'

'none of my other husbands have a problem with it.'

'don't be too hard on yourself. anyone could break a nose jar.'

'you and i, we shouldn't have this kind of rapport.'

'are you the fancy man selling the british bloke?'

'i guess you could say i'm a bit of a pickpocket from back in the day.'

'i made an assortment of tapas. tapas means 'little plates'.'

'they're like catnip to spaniards.'

'loving your ladder setup, by the way. very stable.'

'oh, thank god it's out. i'm so bad at keeping secrets.'

'is that it? were those your last words?'

[jungshookz]

june's drabble poll!!

well it's not TRULY a cee comeback if i'm not reviving the monthly drabble polls where all the stans tear each other apart and i watch behind the scenes with a thing of popcorn while stroking an evil cat on my lap

if you're new here and have no idea what this is or if you just don't remember how this works (tbh i also forgot how it worked for a second but it's okay i figured it out) here's a quick breakdown of what's happening:

drabble polls take place at the beginning of each month where you guys get to choose what you'd like to read because we are a TEAM and i can't pull all the weight around here c'mon now

there are always four options! usually it's one newbie and three of your already existing favourite characters but sometimes i spice things up just for the drama <3 (as you'll see in this poll)

each character gets three chances to win before they get tossed into the bye bye bin!! for example if i plunk advicecolumnist!joon into the poll for june, july, AND august and he still doesn't come out on top in all three then i will have to fire him unfortunately (but there is still potential for him to have baby drabbles)

votes will always take place on my twitter!! i don't count any votes that come into the inbox so please do not drown my inbox because i can't swim D: and also voting is live about ten minutes after i post the options here on tumblr!

i think that's it but u know where to find me if you have any questions <3

feels so good to be back!! let's do this!! here are your drabble options for this month (even though we're already nearing the end of june but shhhh):

🖤 option one:

following the devastating, extremely emotional breakup with jimin, it takes everything within you to not burst into tears in front of everyone when word on the grapevine says he went out on a date with nayeon over the weekend.

balletteacher!jiminiverse;

sfw // hurts-so-bad-but-that's-what-makes-it-good angst!

featuring a fragile y/n trying her best to keep it together and a stubborn jimin trying his best to make it seem like he's unbothered!

🗞️ option two:

namjoon's the head of a popular love and sex advice column and he receives at least a hundred different letters a day, so you decide to (jokingly but also very seriously) send one in to ask for advice on how to handle a big-time crush you have on someone... that someone being him.

advicecolumnist!namjoon (newbie!!);

sfw // honk honk humour! soft soft fluff!

featuring hardworking coffee girl y/n who's pretty much willing to do anything to get handsome namjoon's attention!

⛱️ option three:

it's summer time, which means it's jungkook's time to shine... and after all this time, y/n still doesn't know how to deal with the amount of attention he gets as his reputation as the hot, sexy, omg-i-want-him-so-bad lifeguard.

lifeguard!jungkookiverse (returning to my wattpad roots to honour 2018!cee bc i've been too hard on her lately);

sfw // honk honk humour! soft soft fluff!

featuring a flustered y/n trying to contain the green-eyed monster inside of her and an oblivious as ever jungkook!

🍹 option four:

putting on a smile while watching ji-eun cuddle up to jungkook is already hard enough, but when y/n is (reluctantly) invited to come to jimin's massive end-of-semester party, she can't help but feel even more out of place.

smitten!jungkookiverse (calling all my feral smitten fans...)

sfw // honk honk humour! i-want-to-rip-my-lashes-out angst!

featuring a tipsy jimin finally letting y/n know why he doesn't like her and a long awaited important conversation between y/n and jungkook!

here's the link to my twitter to place your vote! (don't be shy, click the follow button hehe)

as always the poll will expire in two days which gives you an ample amount of time to think about which universe you'd like to step into this month!!

cee <3

[txt-ruby]

⌗ Sugar rush ride shooting sketch !!

⊹ word count. 1.5k

⊹ era. sugar rush ride

⊹ emma talks. first request and i know it's very choppy TT but pls bear with me! It's been almost two years since I've properly written something TT lmk if you found anything wrong and I'll fix it!! I'd love it if i get any feedback!! Constructive criticism is also welcome as long as it's not you just bashing me for my bad writing 💔

Bella looks around as she enters the sugar rush ride music video set. Looking at the camera, " today is our first day of filming for our title song, sugar rush ride in Korea. I heard my shoot is with butterflies in my hand! Of course I know they're not real butterflies but I'm excited to shoot for the upcoming days!! Fighting!!" She says excitedly. She laughs when yeonjun mentions he feels like winnie the pooh. Looking at the eldest whose hands are currently busy with the honey.

When the lights went out during Soobin's shoot, she let out a scream to which she quickly apologized embarrassed. She stayed and watched everybody's individual filming and cheered for everyone! During the group scene, she was seen standing in the corner with her hands and legs spread out. When asked why, she replied "I don't like the feeling of glitter on my skin hahaha that's why I'm standing like this". When beomgyu heard her say this, he immediately ran to her and hugged her which made her scream at him and they chased each other for a bit before calming themselves down.

For the next outfit change, when they were fixing their hair and makeup, she asked soobin, "are you not wearing anything inside?" To which he replied "yea I'm quite cold".

She looked at taehyun with pure eyes of adoration as he spoke to the camera "our muscles are a part of our outfits. The choreography this time started off as refreshing and sexy but it's been corrupted to just sexy sexy haha. That's our choreography. I was really surprised to see ruby's muscles. I knew she worked out but i didn't know she hit the gym everyday" she laughed at his speech.

" There are a lot of points where we have to sit and then stand which makes the choreo very tiring " ruby said with a pout on her face while fanning herself and monitoring the group performance.

" But we'll have to overcome it to have the best performance, " she said while the rest of the group were trying to go through the choreography once again.

Laughing at Beomgyu's antics, she and Taehyun were bouncing around to which the other members except yeonjun soon joined.

After the last scene, the group finally finished their first day of filming. Gathering as a whole, they stood in front of the camera and ruby next to beomgyu and soobin when huening kai spoke about how their first day of filming had come to an end. Taehyun explained that it was their only shoot in Korea and most of it was dancing and asked them how they felt.

Ruby replied " I think the image shots came out really well and of course our choreography scenes always look really cool so I'm really excited for it!! The camera movements were very cool too!!"

She finished when Huening added that he was there too and soon one by one the members were starting to add themselves in as Bella laughed at their childishness. "Yeah yeah but it came out well so we're happy and let's do our best in the remaining shoot!! Well done everyone!" Huening kai said as the group followed with a 'lets meet at Bali!!'.

"Shoutout to our Indonesian fans," Yeonjun said as he pressed a kiss onto the camera with his hands. " It's my first time here in Bali but it's so nice and it feels like heaven!!" Ruby exclaimed as she looked around at nature.

" Ooh there are goats here!!" Ruby said to soobin and he and Beomgyu turned back to look where she was pointing. "The goats here are the size of Maltese" soobin said to which beomgyu replied "these two love little things. You can see their likes right here" ruby gave Beomgyu a side eye when he started singing baby goat and explained that the goats would come if he called like this which made the staff around them burst out in laughter.

Ruby saw that soobin and Beomgyu were running around chasing each other which brought a smile to her face. Her turn was to run with yeonjun. Him and Bella were standing there waiting when Yeonjun said it was too hot to which Bella agreed, fanning her face.

She then ran along with Yeonjun laughing and looking around when the director instructed them to. When they heard 'cut', they ran to their original place. "It's soo beautiful here. I can't believe a place like this actually exists". Yeonjun exclaimed looking at the beautiful place they were at, to which Ruby agreed by saying " i know right! I can definitely see why we decided to shoot here! So when we were checking on how the scenes turned out, it looked so beautiful" soon they were starting the group and the choreography scenes.

They were running around happily and smiling and laughing at each other.

Waiting to start the choreo, bella spotted a bug near soobin to which upon seeing it she lightly screamed startling poor beomgyu who was next to her. Soon they were done with the second day of total filming and first day of filming in bali. They once again gathered as a group to end the video for that day while clapping.

The second day of filming in bali, they were at a natural waterfall and the members were all taking pictures of the place and some sneaky pictures of Bella because she looked absolutely ethereal. "Why do you look like an angel today" beomgyu asked her which made her chuckle and ask him if it was a compliment or a genuine question.

She laughed along with soobin as he teased huening kai for stirring the water like it was iced tea. She pouted when she heard that Soobin had to get into the water for his scenes. She could see his shivering from where she stood. She went up to their stylist and asked her to bring a few more towels for soobin. After soobin finished, all the staff and the members clapped for him because he worked so hard. For the group scene, she had to walk in the water a few meters next to beomgyu. They were preparing to shoot in a new location and Bella looked mesmerized by Yeonjun who was quietly filming his scenes. "Waah Choi yeonjun you're soo cool".

Bella said as soon as he finished it and he gave her a genuine smile. As Yeonjun was filming his scene, beomgyu called out for kai and ruby. "yah bella and kai feel my heartbeat" to which the two younger ones kept their hand on his chest to feel them. Kai laughed at the elder who's heartbeat quickened because of a honeybee.

The group monitored their dance as Bella tried to steady her breath. They continued their choreo passionately. They filmed their last scene for the night and the members left quickly just waving to the camera.

The last day and it was to be spent on the beach. Bella was seen wowing at the water's colors and pointing it out to yeonjun who stood next to her because of the girl's fear of the water. They filmed the scenes and when they were monitoring, Yeonjun, who found a hermit crab, called out to bella. The group soon huddled around the poor crab.

They film their own scenes and bella is seen emotionally looking into the ocean while sitting down on the shore in a position which seems like she's been washed ashore. She nods while beomgyu explains it to the camera. They end the group scenes with yeonjun, her and taehyun run around on the beach and then walk tirelessly to just run back again.

The four members, huening kai, soobin, beomgyu and taehyun talk to the camera explaining that the four of them are done with shoots and only bella and yeonjun are left. Soon a wild yeonjun and a calm ruby are seen running up to the rest of the members and the group conclude their three day shooting in bali as a successful one.

Bella is seen on the beach as she watches the boat turned upside down and she turns around to the camera in tears and then the screen turns black.

Bella is the only person left and she turns to the camera, " we've completed our shooting for our title track sugar rush ride!! It's our first time here in Bali and it's so pretty and it's really meaningful now because it's our first overseas location!! We've worked very hard for this comeback so I hope everyone is looking forward to it!! Bye!!"

taglist: @stealanity @alixnsuperstxr @riikiblr lmk if you wanna be added!!

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

While I do agree with that last ask that Ada's outfit is truly not appropriate as a spy, I kinda wanted to put in my own little input. For one thing I totally agree with the fact that her outfit is something I could very much see a woman dressing for herself choosing. Not that women don't choose to dress super skimpy, but Ada's outfit in RE 4 Remake is, in my opinion, a pretty popular Fall/Autumn outfit among feminine presenting people (I mean people even joke on Tiktok about how Autumn is stylish black boot season lol) Other than her stilettos, her outfit is not that out there, in terms of comfort even. It's a knit dress top. Those are some of the more comfortable dresses, even if it is body con. It might be tight, but it's not modeled so tightly that it's "weird" if you get what I mean, and it's knit, and it can have some stretch, and it's moveable. (I feel like I can say that as someone who has worn a very similar dress and had to walk for several blocks in the winter) Respectfully, I really disagree that her current outfit is "less appropriate than her original outfit." If you've ever worn a maxi dress, one can know how impractical the long length/can be unless you were to like, tie it to the side or whatever. Shorter dress can be out of the way of your legs. I feel like if you removed her stilettos and gave her more practical boots, it's really not that crazy of an outfit. Frankly, just because a woman dresses femininely, doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Also honestly....? Just because someone has a cold personality doesn't mean they can't be stylish? Like....Wesker's new outfit is pretty stylish as well if we're going to be fully honest. As a female-presenting person, I don't think Ada's outfit has so much overt sex appeal. It's just something I've seen so often as an outfit for this season, and something I've seen other female presenting people reach for when it gets cold. Her boots are kind of doing all the legwork if you'll excuse the pun. I dunno! Maybe I'm just delulu, but yknow?

I also just wouldn't think it'd be Ada if her design didn't communicate some level of flair. RE 4, despite now having a more serious undertone compared to its original, I feel has always been the kind of silly and unrealistic game anyway compared to the others. I mean the Merchant throws a rave when you do well at target practice. You eat raw fish and eggs....? There were Ganados that wore Leon's jacket and Krauser's hat for some reason???? There's a request where you literally are just told to egg a portrait of Ramon Salazar. Ashley is secretly a scene/emo kid???? Me personally, I appreciate this design compared to the past of game design. Could it be better? Yeah, sure. But it's SOMETHING imo. I totally get that we want to go from point A to B, and that we shouldn't accept the bare minimum, but sometimes things also take baby steps. I've noticed the slow shift in other games as well. Mortal Kombat's female characters had people upset because they looked "too" practical and "not sexy enough." League of Legends has been slowly updating its designs (i.e. Janna and Nidalee in their recent Legends of Runeterra art) Aloy from Horizon Zero Dawn is designed to look like a realistic person. I dunno!

One thing I will agree on is the game's camera with the ass shots. I can only really remember one (that scene where Ada sees Ashley being taken by one of Salazar' bug guard) but yeah, that was unnecessary. I don't think they did entirely bad by Ada in my opinion because there were several scenes where this male gazey shot did not happen.

Anyway sorry that this ask is super long. I had a lotta thoughts lol.

Respectfully, I really disagree that her current outfit is "less appropriate than her original outfit." If you've ever worn a maxi dress, one can know how impractical the long length/can be unless you were to like, tie it to the side or whatever.

yeah i think i struggle a lot with trying to understand how her original outfit is more appropriate than her remake one. it's COLD, there was no reason for her to be in that type of dress. and the long skirt of the dress is also impractical as hell. i agree that the changing of her boots to a more flatter boot would make her outfit fairly appropriate. we're also kind of assuming that her tights are fairly well fitting since she's not constantly pulling them up lol

but yeah i agree that i think her outfit isn't overtly sexual. it's provocative sure?? the heels are mostly the thing that makes it not practical.

i think that there's a bit of an interesting push for more realistic depictions of women, and the horizon zero dawn reaction was insane to me, but entirely not unexpected. in another case, people were mad that ada's heels were removed in dead by daylight lol. EVEN THOUGH her flats were more practical, people wanted her heels anyways

i feel as though the shots that they used were also not so terrible in terms of male gaze-y. we also got ✨⛓the chain scene ⛓✨ for leon which was literally on the tiktok fyp for just horny video game scene that like SO MANY MEN JUST DID NOT GET.

but the singular ass shot of ada i think was, sure a bit much. but it wasn't so much that i was like, WOW THAT'S SO SEXUALIZING HER, cause i was also like oMGGGADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA so maybe im no better than a man lmao

but yeah! i mostly agree with you ty!

[thoughtsbyharu]

Guts and Guts (spilled) Album Thoughts

My thoughts about Olivia Rodrigo's 2nd album, Guts!

Hi everyone! Long time no post! A lot has happened for the past months and I haven't posted a lot :(

Anyway, so Olivia released an album last September! This review is sooo long overdue haha but at least I could also review the new songs released on Guts (spilled) which is kind of like the deluxe edition of Guts.

I am very excited for this album because her previous album, "Sour" was one of my favorites. I listened to this on its release and it did not disappoint! So let's talk about my thoughts about it.

1. all-american bitch

Rating: 9/10

Memorable line/s:

"I don't get angry when I'm pissed. I'm the eternal optimist, I scream inside to deal with it"

"I'm grateful all the time (Grateful every f*cking time)"

Thoughts:

Way to start an album! The song is very catchy and the pop rock elements just hits up my alley. I heard that she used some American pop culture references in this song so I did some researching to know the meaning of them (since I am not American lol).

The overall tone of this song is somewhat sarcastic. I think the song is about how people expect her to be the "perfect American woman" when some of that ideals are quite destructive. Take for example the line:

"All the time, I'm grateful all the time I'm sexy and I'm kind I'm pretty when I cry"

and the line

"I don't get angry when I'm pissed I'm the eternal optimist I scream inside to deal with like "Ah""

It's like even if you are upset or angry, as a woman, you are expected to be calm and mature and handle things gracefully like a proper lady. Basically, bottling up your feelings because you, having negative feelings and expressing them doesn't sit well with people.

These types of expectations are toxic and unhealthy. Keeping your thoughts internally because people will be inconvenienced is such bs. Having emotions isn't a crime because guess what, women are people too. We should be able to laugh when you're happy, cry when you're sad and get mad when you're angry.

Overall (before this section takes too long), I like the song and it's meaning. I especially love the outro. Oh! and have you guys seen her performance of this song on SNL? It was amazing!

2. bad idea right?

Rating: 8.5/10

Memorable line/s:

"Seeing you tonight is a bad idea right?"

"I only see him as a friend (The biggest lie I ever said)"

This is like hearing the thought process of your friend who can't leave their ex or move on 😂

It's a fun song and really catchy. I love the build up before every chorus hits. It's fun to sing along to.

It's funny because this song reminds me of one of my friends and his on/off relationship with a girl. Like, he keeps ranting about her but he just keeps coming back to her. Saying things like, "Well, we're still friends so we're still hanging out" but then regrets it later when stuff happens. This song reminds me soooo much of him. No matter how much advice we give him he always does the opposite.

Anyways, to my friend out there, hope you move on already!

3. vampire

Rating: 9/10

Memorable line/s:

"I used to think I was smart but you made look so naive"

"You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart"

So this song was said to be about a previous boyfriend but others said that this is about Taylor Swift, but I think I'd go with the former. I did some research and she did have a former boyfriend that fits the description so maybe it's about him?

The lyrics is kind of like "All Too Well" all over again. Not saying it's bad but it's really weird to think that a lot of young women can relate to it. I mean, why do these men always go after young women who's like, years their junior? The line "Went for me and not her, 'cause girls your age know better"?? Like dudes, why can't you find someone your age? Young women in their late teens to early 20s are still figuring out life, leave them alone 😂

Anyways, the song is quite good and pretty hard to sing so kudos to Olivia! I watched her live performances to this song and it's just so amazing.

4. lacy

Rating: 7.5/10

Memorable line/s:

"I see you everywhere, sweetest torture one could bear"

"People are people but it's like you're made of angel dust"

"I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you"

This is definitely about envy. It's the kind of envy where you admire someone because you can never be like them. Do you guys get it? (haha)

She puts "lacy" in a pedestal because she's basically perfect; which is something that she (Olivia) thinks she could never be. Basically, "Lacy" brings out her insecurities and this is frustrating her.

I think most of us has their own "lacy". Maybe it's an idol, actress, friend, etc. and I get it because I also have my own. The thing is, you are your own person and that lacy is also their own person. You will never be them because you are you. It's alright to acknowledge the feeling of jealousy but don't let your life revolve around it. Do things that are best for you.

5. ballad of a homeschool girl

Rating: 8/10

Memorable line/s:

"I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke"

"Each time I step outside, it's social suicide!"

This is not a ballad, this is an anthem!! 😂

I have to say, this ain't just for the homeschool girlies but awkward and socially inept people too (like me). I am laughing all throughout this song when I first listened to it because it is TOO relatable for my own good.

I love how chaotic it sounds, like a mind of a very confused and anxious girl who does not know how social stuff works.

P.S. can't find a fitting gif for this sooo bear with me

6. making the bed

Rating: 8/10

Memorable line/s:

"Well sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am"

"Every good thing has turned into something I dread"

"I got the things I wanted, it's not what I imagined"

This is such a very personal and emotional song. I've been watching BoJack Horseman recently (I'm on Season 4 pls no spoilers) and this song reminds me of him. This song could be about her rise to fame but it could also be interpreted as facing the consequences of your own actions thus the title.

9. logical

Rating: 8/10

Memorable line/s:

"No, love is never logical"

"I know I'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible"

"i fell for you like water falls from the february sky"

Another ballad~ It's about how she wished she left an unhealthy relationship sooner. She reminisced about how she ignored all the red flags because she loved him. This is probably about that guy on vampire because some lyrics talks about how he took advantage of her because she was young. And yes, when you are young, immature, and inexperienced, love is not logical. She seems to blame herself over it as well which made me want to give her a hug :(

The song makes me sad.

10. get him back!

Rating: 9.5/10

Memorable line/s:

"But I am my father's daughter, so maybe I could fix him"

"Wanna kiss his face, with an uppercut"

"I want sweet revenge, I want him again"

This feels like the continuation for "bad idea right?". Get him back is a song about having complicated feelings for an awful ex. She wants to get back with him but at the same time she wants to get revenge or get back at him for breaking her heart.

Song is very catchy and I hope I could hear this live soon! (Olivia please come to the Philippines) One of my faves in this album.

11. love is embarrassing

Rating: 9.5/10

Memorable line/s:

"My God, love's embarrassing as hell"

This is logical but in a lighter tone or when you are at the stage that you've moved on but you suddenly remember what you did and you get second hand embarrassment for yourself 🤣 It's giving "What the hell was I thinking, tf did I do that for??"

This song is so fun and I found myself singing it from time to time. One of my favesss

12. the grudge

Rating: 11/10

Memorable line/s:

"You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers"

"My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge"

"I takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong"

"How could anybody do the things you did so easily?"

"It takes strength to forgive but, I'm not quite sure I'm there yet"

Ngl, this song made me cry. Every time I try singing it I always end up tearing up or crying. It's like you are trying to move on and forgive someone but that pain still lingers and it hurts so much and you can't bring yourself to come in terms with. To anyone who is in the situation, give yourself time because as they say time can heal all wounds. If you must cry, then there's no shame in crying.

13. pretty isn't pretty

Rating: 10/10

Memorable line/s:

"There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong"

"...I could try every every lipstick in every shade, but I'd always feel the same "

"You fix the things you hated, And you'd still feel so insecure"

Seriously Olivia. Why should you always write songs that are so personal and relatable?? I gotta be honest, but this song made me cry again haha. I dunno, I just can relate to this song soooo much. I love how Olivia wrote this because it captures the struggles of being an anxious and insecure individual. Anyway, on a lighter note, I love the guitar and the bridge of this song. This is one of my faves.

14. teenage dream

Rating: 10/10

Memorable line/s:

"When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?"

"They all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?"

Another ballad and yes, I am crying because of this song yet again. If I have a song I want my teenage self to hear, it's this song. I am an eldest daughter in an Asian household so this song just pulls my heartstrings so much because it makes me feel heard and my feelings validated. I am expected of many things so this song comforts me.

The slow buildup to a rock tone during the outro is also such a nice tone.

15. obsessed

Rating: 10/10

Memorable line/s:

"You both have moved on, you don't even talk. But I can't help it, I got issues, I can't help it baby"

You don't know how guilty I felt when I heard this song for the first time hahaha. At one point in my life, I've been soooo insecure at my boyfriend's ex and the lyrics just hits me like a damn truck because my thoughts are exactly the same!! I mean, sometimes you just can't help to compare yourself from an ex you know?

I love the contrast of this vs. the other 3 songs because this is pop rock. I love the instrumentals for this!

16. girl i've always been

Rating: 8/10

Memorable line/s:

"And I can't say I'm a perfect ten. But I am the girl I've always been"

A country song! I love how lively this song is. The lyrics is kind of empowering in a way because it feels like Olivia has accepted that she is flawed and is not pretending to be that perfect girl anymore.

17. scared of my guitar

Rating: 7.5/10

Memorable line/s:

"I can't lie to it the same way that I lie to you"

"So we'll stay together 'cause how could I ever trade something that's good for what's right."

Another sad song (please Olivia I'll run out of tears!). I think Olivia is pertaining to her songwriting skills here and how she uses it to express her raw and authentic self. She compares how honest she is with her songwriting versus her relationship with others. It is implied that she isn't transparent about her feelings with other people, possibly because she is protecting herself.

18. stranger

Rating: 10/10

Memorable line/s:

"I cried a million rivers for you but that's over now. You're just a stranger I know everything about"

"You are the best thing that I'll ever keep so far out of my life"

"If I'm not enough for you, you're not enough for me"

This song is so uplifting and positive for someone who already moved on. I love the lyrics of this as it speaks about moving forward and forgiving someone but never forgetting. Oh! and I love the reference from "enough for you". I also love the guitar on this one.

19. so american

Rating: 9/10

Memorable line/s:

"He's like a poem I wish I wrote"

"Oh god, it's just not fair of him to make me feel this much"

"I'm probably gonna marry him if he keeps this shit up"

"I really love my bed but man it's hard to sleep when he's with me"

"I don't wanna assume this stuff. But ain't it love? I think I'm in love"

Guysss we finally have a love song!! This is such a perfect way to end an album together with "stranger" because it feels like a chapter has closed and another one has opened! This is her first love song since her debut right?? It's sooo good. The lyrics are so cute and makes me smile. She describes this guy as the best thing that's ever happen to her and that makes me happy somehow? She sounds sooo inlove and adorableee! I really love the bridge it makes me all giggly ><

-----

My Top 5 Picks:

stranger

the grudge

love is embarrassing

obsessed

pretty isn't pretty

-----

Overall Thoughts:

I gotta say, kudos to Olivia and her team because they manage to create another good album! It's great that they are consistent with pop rock and ballads and I especially appreciate that they added a little country touch on the song list!

Overall, like Sour, I love how this album is so personal. Ngl, this made me cry more than Sour ><

-----

[justwritingscenarios]

SCENARIOS (characters done in green and coming in purple)

continuously denying others who think they are together (Izo)

"no we are not together" "…at least not yet" (Law)

ice skating and one is super bad at it so you need to hold hands

having to share a bed and accidentally end up cuddling (Law)

watching a movie and falling asleep on each other's shoulder

them talking about you to their friends and they make him/her realise they are lovely interested (Koby)

they find you wearing one of their clothes

A: Oh my gosh, this dog is so cute ! B: You say cute, I say absolute demon. A: Hey! Things can be cute and absolute demons. Just take you for example. B, blushing: Y-you think I'm cute?

"I can come yet but you can sit on my lap until I'm done working."

"Shh, you're safe. I'm not letting you go." (Sabo, Crocodile, Corazon coming soon)

"I'm think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

"It's not a double date. We're just third and fourth wheeling."

a quick forehead kiss while they rush for "work"

palm kiss (after a injury ?)

"You said you liked (something), so I bought this for you."

tracing their scars/birthmarks/tattoes

"How do I know if I have a crush on someone ?" "Well, you can't stop thinking about them, you feel strange when they're around, and then you want to- why are you looking at me like that ?" (Limejuice coming)

"This sounds like you're flirting with me." "… I have been trying to do that for X years now. Thanks for noticing."

holding hands during a stressful situation

intertwining fingers

"I just feel safe when I'm with you. Like nothing bad can happen."

"This marriage was supposed to be a scam but, but listen," (Yonji)

pick-up line "okay so sleeping it off didn't work. let me consult my list. hypnotism, no. meditation, certainly not. well something has to work because I simply cannot be in love with you."

"This is all your fault. If only you weren’t so fucking beautiful and smart and funny and perfect, I might not have fallen for you."

B exists A :"I might be going a little crazy thinking about B." C raises an eyebrow. A:"Fine. Maybe a lot more than a little"

"You love them, don’t you?" "How did you know? I told [friend] not to say anything." "They didn’t have to say anything."

Mistake the adress and ringing the wrong neighbour

He's always frowning and you put your finger on the winkle between his eyebrows (Limejuice coming)

you catch them doing something cute (petting a kitten/puppy, smelling a flower, eating a candy)

beach episode

they're your enemy/captain/crewmate and you crush on them

"If you keep undressing me with your eyes, I'll catch a cold."

modern au : your neighbour is loud and you write them a note, they send you flowers for apologise

natsu matsuri : you saw them in a very chest-opened-yukata because of the heat

you're sent to help them out of a prison

modern au : the waiter at the restaurant is very cute/sexy but you're too shy to ask for their number

they were supposed to meet up with someone else that didn't show up and since you have started talking, you spend the night together

in the train, they got the wrong sit and sit in front of you

they pick a flower and nonchalantly give it to you (Yonji coming)

people mistake the situation and think you're having a date

Robin notices all of your discreet glances for them/the way you look at them (Robin POV?) (Sabo)

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time!! last night* we watched tng's "descent part ii" and ds9's "the homecoming." *times changed i am typing this at fuck o'clock but it will have been last night when this posts

descent part ii (tng):

this was...a little underwhelming

it's kind of unclear whether all borgs are just like this now or whether there is still a sexy collective of cube-shaped inevitability out there somewhere. at the end of the episode i still didn't know. it was great to see hugh again though

i think before riker and worf stormed the castle riker should have given him a little kissy. for luck.

OBVIOUSLY i am distressed at poor data getting brainwashed and HURTING HIS BESTIE!!! but i think they did it backwards. i think they should have had him torture picard and then be unable to shoot geordi. or actually no fuck picard anyway both things should have been geordi. but the final moment should have belonged to geordi because that's data's closest connection.

anyway, lore putting on the visor was EVIL. i was gasping and covering my mouth the entire time. it was definitely distressing, but even though we were lucky to get the little fallout we did, it still didn't feel like enough. data faced absolutely no consequences for his actions and we didn't even get into whether or not they WERE his actions

i'm glad geordi stopped him from destroying the chip though. it is horrifying to me that data has now been traumatized by the very idea of having emotions. dream ruined...

i'm almost sure lore will be back. i know what happens to data in picard :/

also, CAPTAIN BEVERLY!!!! i was so thrilled for her. i loved watching her sit in that chair. i really hated that one guy who kept talking down to the female ensign though. fuck off, dude, beverly is captain, we're doing feminism rn

the homecoming (ds9):

so they labeled this episode "the homecoming (1)" and the episode after it "the circle (2)" which mean it's a two-parter episode but not one that's immediately apparent...so i sort of felt a little cheated when it ended "early." i think if you're gonna have a two-parter they should have the same name and be labeled with part i and part ii. just a thought. i know enterprise does this too and now i understand what those numbers mean!! baffling...

anyway, i fucking loved it. like, i could go on and on. just watch me.

i of course have to talk about kira in this episode. she is always so determined to do right by her people which of course is awesome i love watching her go but more importantly she was SOOOO HOT. MA'AM. MA'AM

the outfit. the new hairdo where they slick it down at the sides to make you think she took a little off there. her and o'brien laughing at that cardassian together 😳 their action hero moment..........

i love also that all of that was perfectly platonic. she was like do i look sexy enough to pull this off and he responded in the affirmative and it never felt like he was running around on his wife. picard, take notes

actually, this episode sort of makes me remember why o'brien is such a natural choice for ds9...in addition to probably being the one who was in the transporter room when picard was beamed back after his capture and torture by the cardassians (he is always very quick to point out to sisko that he's LITERALLY SEEN how they treat their prisoners when we need a reminder of the stakes, so it obviously made a strong impression on him), we have that one episode of tng i always forget about because it's all the way back in season fucking 4 where o'brien is like, it's not you i hate cardassian, i hate what i became because of you. he's seen the cardassians at war and he's been personally affected by it, and you get the feeling that he's also well aware that his experiences, while bad, are just the tip of the iceberg of awful.

and like, it adds so much depth to sending HIM into enemy territory with kira. she warned him they might not come back, and he has a wife and child at home, and he STILL WENT. it was an extremely brave thing to do, and remembering his history in this context leads me to interpret this as something he felt he HAD to do, morally

actually, to veer off a second...i really always love how sisko tries his best to throw his weight behind kira, to protect her and support her. like, him giving that low whistle and going "man i wish you hadn't told me what you wanted that shuttle for" but then going to like dax for example and trying to spitball an idea to make it work. he threads the needle of what's morally correct with what's legally permissible as far as his job goes really well, it never feels like he just pulls the correct solution out of his ass, he always struggles with it

but the thing is HE WENT TO DAX. and dax ALREADY KNEW. he then, to back to o'brien, went to o'brien to work out a plan and o'brien had ALREADY COME UP WITH ONE. there is something so incredibly cathartic about seeing all the starfleet guys in particular triangulating around kira and backing her up for no other reason than they care about her and it's the right thing to do.

anyway, i havent even TOUCHED on the rest of the episode yet. i really could go on and on about kira.

okay, other things! whatever quark is doing was really funny. i wish he had actually given his brother a fair share of the profits, but i guess the new leaf he's turning over doesn't extend that far. his whole sections with odo and kira were hilarious though - the whole episode was actually pretty charming when it wasn't being serious.

i kind of had that guy down as either not really being who they thought he was or not being as brave and cool as they thought he was and i was right. i DO think he should be allowed to retire even if bajor does need him...ten years in a labor camp and straight back to work but now it's political? not my ass. i'd never lift a finger again unless i had to.

ESPECIALLY BECAUSE HE'S REPLACING KIRA??? like ofc i know she isn't leaving but what a plot twist...no fucking good deed goes unpunished.

speaking of dax, sorry, her hair looks EVEN WORSE in season 2........i really hope in season 3 and onward they fix it :(

jake got sooo tall. wah. he's growing like a weed. i really loved the bit where sisko comes in from a long day, yawning, and then he's got to comfort his son about being dumped for being human because of political extremists. and he doesn't slack off on the dad job anymore than he does on the starfleet job. it was such a chuckle earlier in the episode when sisko was panicking because they were too young to do anything but talk in public places only, and now it's like. sad.

quark getting branded was ofc horrible but it WAS really funny that bashir had to more or less threaten him to get him to hold still enough to heal him. king. i love julian sm

i feel like the cardassians giving up their prisoners was a little TOO easy. like. it didn't strike me until just now but i feel like that was sooo easy like everything worked out as smooth as butter. some shit is Happening

TONIGHT: tng's "liaisons" and ds9's "the circle," neither of which i have read the summaries for. i have a feeling our run of pretty solid tng episodes is over for now bc we've switched seasons but SIGH hope springs eternal.

[kobblefort]

Rushsly: Into the Depths 3

Here is my arena again, and the stats up top are looking good - check it out, no completely miserable kobbles!!!! This episode is going to begin with an absurdly long, totally irrelevant, mildly insane and kind of depressing rant so feel free to just skip to the next image because that's when I will start talking about the game again.

I don't know if you know this, but something happened in 2020. Well, obviously something happened in 2020, but I think what I'm thinking about might not be the thing that immediately comes to mind when you think about 2020, though it is probably a knock-on effect of it. You see, in 2020 a lot of people went Online who were just not supposed to be Online. Don't get me wrong, everyone was already on their way Online, whether willingly or by a kind of zeitgeist coercion - Boomers had finished terraforming Facebook from a clunky but quirky place to find out about parties and join groups for making esoteric image macros with other drug addicts who you would eventually just sort of meet at parties into a place for 30-comment family-shattering arguments to rage over an article your uncle found on TotallyTrueNews.RealWebsite about how public schools are forcing their students to say "I'm gay" over and over instead of the Pledge of Allegiance by 2018 at the absolute latest - but this was a more immediate event. Stuck at home with no other viable avenues for social fulfillment, a lot of people who shouldn't be on Twitter downloaded Twitter, a lot of people who had previously brushed it off started viewing and eventually making TikToks, started spending more than 48 seconds a day looking at Instagram (a rookie mistake, especially before reels) and though I'm not actually too familiar with this site we're on right now, I'm sure at least one 53 year old just showed up here and acted like they belonged while completely failing to accept or assimilate into the culture - not like, a fujoshi 53 year old, that's always kosher, I mean like owns a frozen yogurt store and listens to NPR 53 year old - again these aren't inherently bad, okay, so let's say a specifically not sexy 53 year old. (There is so much more to being sexy than being attractive, I NEED to clarify this, but this paragraph is already far too scatterbrained for me to get into it.) And because of this, something really bad started to happen. The veil was cut through between "the real world" and "the internet," all the way. Sure, you could argue this happened all the way back with the first Amazon sale, or the first time someone got a PayPal Business account, but we're talking about when the merge became complete.

A very long time ago I was a sheltered child, gravitationally anchored to a two-story house in a suburb that was closer to the country than the city, shuffled around schools every two years as part of some poorly-thought-out program for "gifted" kids where we got the same exact curriculum as any other kid in the district with twice as much homework, half as much socialization, and one particular teacher so miserable and cruel that I still find myself hoping she dies in some kind of "stepping on Legos forever" incident some twenty years later. (She seemingly went out of her way to make sure every student in our cohort broke down crying in front of the entire class at least once. I think I might actually be the age she was when she taught us now, and I can not imagine being okay with making a child cry, let alone intentionally trying to make it happen.) I certainly had it better than many in a material sense, the middle class really used to exist before 2008 and I was there in it, but my home life was actually pretty awful in the non-material senses, and in so many neglected hours I was able to take solace in one place. First over dial-up, then through DSL, and finally via glorious cable connection, I was able to leave the real world. On forums, on chatrooms, in game lobbies and Flash cartoons, I was specifically somewhere else.

Digital cameras were expensive and rare. Webcams... existed, I guess, but a 144p image on a CRT screen over AOL Instant Messenger's awkward protocol hardly made for a seamless connection, and I never had one anyway, because what the fuck did I or anyone else care what I looked like in real life? My Furcadia avatar was the real main event, or even better, my Graal Online character - an obscenely obscure game now, but it seemed bigger than the whole world when I was 9 - I was not bound by the name my parents chose for me but instead liberated by the handle I dreamt up for myself. There was no image or shape of me to weigh me down, only my thoughts and the way I managed to translate them. And there was another quality of this place that would inform my later disdain for capitalism, though I didn't know it yet: that everything was free. Though they could never find their way onto the Animal Crossing Forums or Starmen.net, and especially not Hell Is A Forum (thank god) even my parents could figure out Napster and the CD burner on our beige old Gateway desktop, and would boot me off to go play with my Dreamcast or my Genesis ever so often to burn a mix for the car or their workout - though they were trolled by that one Bill Clinton MP3 more times than any of us would like to admit, and I'm sure at least two or three of the many viruses that eventually did that old machine in came from there. Still, this was not a point of controversy, did not upset anyone besides, well, Metallica and the RIAA - it was just how the internet worked. If you could digitize something, turn it into data, break it down into a series of machine-interpretable binary bits and hexadecimal bytes, then it could be shared completely freely; there was no way to stop it from being shared completely freely. Once a thing was on the internet, it belonged to the internet, and this was not some dystopian AI-corpus financial instrument, but a worldwide triumph of human connection, a bastion of culture available to anyone with a machine and a modem. Learning things, finding things, talking to people was all so free and so easy, and connections were so beautifully earnest. Forums built around mutual interests made fast friends out of people who simply wouldn't meet in the real world, would otherwise just feel alone in their hobbies and pastimes and artistic ambitions, let everyone experience the joys of sharing in mutual passions without the aches and costs of travel, the gross fleshy trappings of physical life. You were free to just download Christian ska songs and roleplay as being an evil wolf with angel wings and talk about anime for crying out loud - which was really not normal at all yet for an American in, let's say, 2003.

My heart is warmed by younger people rejoicing in digital nostalgia, but I really wish they could have been there for the whole thing. "Y2K" was so much more than an aesthetic, it was a way of seeing the world, of experiencing the present and envisioning the future. It is truly ironic to have "digital millenium," two of the most hopeful words in the world to me when I was a kid, be the first two words of "DMCA," one of the most soul-crushing. On some level, we must have known it couldn't last forever, but the decay creeped in so slowly that you almost couldn't notice it, not unless you really looked. Paywalls went up, copyright takedowns went out, messageboards went down. Little by little, even the concession of "shareware" became corrupted by the wrong kind of perverts - coin-counting suit-wearing fun-hating puritans that, trite as it is, really did want to pave paradise and put up a parking lot. Rent-seekers claim-jumped domain names by the thousands and asked exorbitant fees to let actual creators use them, the definition of "spam" grew looser and looser until it became normal for a total stranger to E-mail you a fucking advertisement, and all the SheezyArt's and VCL's were either crushed underfoot or congealed into the same all-encompassing grey goo of Social Media, a more Accessible internet not to the people who needed it, or even particularly wanted it, but who saw it as a resource to exploit.

But for a long while, the internet was still ultimately the domain of people who wanted to be there. The Facebook boomers barely ever breached containment, and anyone with any sense knew how to keep their paths from crossing. Twitter was still overwhelmingly weird, Facebook still at least had safe pockets that made it worth logging on every couple of days. But 2020 ended this completely. The trends of the last few years reveal it so plainly: a lot of people who genuinely don't belong on the internet are on it and just stuck here now. NFT guys were never even supposed to exist - people like that are supposed to just try to one-up each other at consumer-goods conventions with luxury watches or elaborate decorative rugs. The people crying out "Mister King Elon, Sir, my Blue-Check has improved my Reach, but people still aren't liking my Tweets! What's going on!?" should be harassing each other in country clubs. Televangelists should not even physically be able to access e621 but they do, and after they finish jacking off to femboy foxes with giant cocks in striped socks like everyone else does, they feel compelled to go online and tell a crowd about how "Liberals are putting litterboxes in classrooms because the teachers make kids identify as pansexual nonbinary catboys, we need to start kidnapping endocrinologists," a crowd that should not be following for-profit parishioners on Twitter, they should be in a La-Z-Boy yelling at the TV and buying the world's shittiest kitchen knives off the Home Shopping Network.

And I mean, what do we do, right? Is this just the new cycle? Something cool comes around and we get to have fun with it for a few years until the boomers come shit all over it? How long can we go on like that? I'd say quite a while longer, actually. The truth is that a new cool thing will arise, we will have a place again for the actual weirdos and outcasts who make everything of any sentimental and cultural value to coalesce together, one that the Finance Fuckers and the Status Seekers and the hate-spewing freaks can't figure out how to get on, don't even want to get on. I don't know what it will be or where or how, but this all comes in waves. In nature, the prey population rises, then the predator population does too, then the prey population falls, then the predator population falls. There is summer and there is winter. In the human world we have made things markedly more complex, but we still operate on the fundamental principles of nature, there is still a morning after every night no matter how long. Somewhere, somehow, a new world is coming. It has to be. And somewhere in this world, something is waiting for you.

I think things like the greatest simulation game of all time, Dwarf Fortress speak to what the internet and computers really are, really can be, really should be. I think the greatest simulation game of all time Dwarf Fortress is not just a relic of a more optimistic time but something that keeps the spirit of the old internet alive. Tarn once said that people who actually play the game are simply beta testers, and it is only by sharing our experiences with it to others that you get to actually "play" it. I really like that, I feel as though that concept contains the very "collaborative spirit of giving freely" from the old internet. So how about I get back to beta testing the greatest simulation game of all time Dwarf Fortress for you.

New problems are often just old problems. On the left we see that more food has been left to rot on the floor, because of course it has, at this point I think they just like doing it. On the right we see that, well, I didn't really designate anyone to throw out the forgotten beast corpse or its associated parts, so... that's kind of just stinking up the place. Right at the main stairway, too! Well, down a hole on the surface it goes.

We needed more flux stone for steel production, so I went to dig into the dolomite wall of our church/main tavern floor, but it turned out to be hiding a massive iron vein. Well, there's still enough dolemite to be worth it, and it's not like more iron is bad, it's just not particularly good.

Chief Acl himself, apparently quite a religious man lately, takes the task of throwing the ratfolk necromancer down a very deep hole, cage and all. It's a quick and merciful death, which the other ratfolk will surely come to envy in time as it's now their turn to be chucked down. Well, that plan kind of has a hitch.

Only the first ratfolk is actually successfully thrown down the pit - the next two see the pathetic fate that awaits them and immediately make a break for it. And then...

Ace Steel, the Beast Slayer, catches one, beheads them, and then...

chops the other one in fucking half. Jesus Christ

And in the background, just as a little aside, our bird towers spot three ratfolk thieves trying to break in. It's too bad they haven't been able to send any survivors back to warn them about all the traps. Well, they won't get the chance now, either. These particular ratfolk are just going straight down the garbage pit because, well, I dunno, the "arena" feels like a shit idea after all.

Hey, Nillians are here! I've never seen these folks before. Hope they aren't squeamish like elves, because they got here just in time to see ratfolk thrown down a fucking garbage chute. We'll give them a nice warm welcome, and also I feel like getting some special quarters set up for the Beast Slayer. I don't want her to feel as though her hard work isn't being appreciated. Of course, she's not the only member of the military...

Dralas Containedbanded, a fine crossbowbold in his own right, has fallen asleep right in the middle of the main tavern as a party rages around him - another member of his squad, Almda Smileurn, snoozes away in the lower one. I take it they're enjoying their leave to the fullest, as they should. It'll be right back to training soon enough.

The trading post is absolutely run at this point - we seem to be popular, despite the fact we really haven't been exporting much. And oh god they're doing that thing with the wagon don't do it don't do it don't crunch it don't smush it. Okay. I'm better now. I traded with the Nillians for their instruments; we're almost completely self-sufficient now, so nothing else they have is particularly interesting.

In political news, we're a Realm now! Which means Acl's lodgings are no longer good enough, and has also inspired Alsrta Moltenend to enact a ban on the export of iron anvils. Which... yeah, sure, whatever. They're not exactly our money-makers. In fact, I don't think we've ever sold one. So yeah, sure, who cares.

Ace Steel now has a grand bedroom to share with her husband Zolr Fatvenoms (cute name) that includes satinspar furniture (her favorite rock) and pig iron walls (her favorite metal - she's worth slowing down the steel production for...) right next to the tavern. It's also around this time that I discover the population cap was set to 50; I figured we just weren't getting a lot of migrants because we weren't creating or exporting a lot of wealth, but...

That's pretty obviously not true. So I crank it back up to 200 and set about digging out some more apartments. We've been eating through vertical space pretty quickly, but as far as horizontally, there's still tons of room, and while it's obviously more efficient to just stack them instead of spreading them out, I don't particularly want bedrooms any closer to the caverns than they are, so instead I make the aesthetically questionable decision to just smush them all onto elevation -5 with the other 3-tile bedrooms.

In between all their stairwells, we create a grand mausoleum for Acl, who is apparently no longer content with just a platinum sarcophagus in a crystal glass chamber up where the proles get buried. I'd say royalty really changed him, but it kind of didn't.

There he is, putting together some random pauper's bedroom.

We got another live one! This one's a bit more worrying than the last - I can't imagine it having fire powers will bode particularly well for us.

A floor below, the hatches are locked, and both squads are set to patrol the point where it could feasibly break through. We only got a glimpse of it before it disappeared into the fog of war, but it seemed to be climbing along the walls if not outright flying, so once again the whole "don't open up the caverns on the ground level" thing turned out to be meaningless.

God she's so badass. I shouldn't even be scared. But I am, precisely because she's so badass. Losing such a great kobble would be a death blow to the fortress' morale, much less my own. The beast appears every now and then on the map, swimming around just at the edge of our revealed look into the caverns. Just now I got up from the computer, walked over to the fridge, uncovered a pan of spaghetti I've been saving since last night, and ate two handfuls with my bare hands. I just sort of tilted my head back and lowered them into my mouth. I don't know why I'm like this, my fork is clean (I only own one) but I didn't want to eat a forkful of spaghetti, I wanted to eat a handful of spaghetti. And I did, and I liked it. I don't know. Maybe that early image-generation AI was on to something. Eat spaghetti with your hands some time, just give it a try. Why not? What are you afraid of? Anyway, as we wait with bated breath...

i just wanted to sneak the horse soap into this picture because i think it's funny, it has nothing to do with anything. The year changes. 254, the start of our fifth year in Rushsly. It's certainly cause for celebration, even if this isn't the time. For now, with the beast still far enough away to remain hidden but close enough to remain a potential threat, the best we can do is let the soldiers off patrol for a little bit to calm their nerves - weapons and armor still at the ready, of course - and try to have a few more normal days. Sure, they could be our last, but really any day could, and at least we know what's coming. And in real life I'm tired but want to try a bit of Shadows of Doubt before bed so I'm going to have to cut it here. It seems like as the complexity of the fort increases, so does the length of these posts, but yet the in-game time spent only decreases. Maybe by the time we're at 100 kobbles I'll only even get through a season or two per session. Oh and sorry about that rant back at the beginning. If you actually read it then wow lol, thanks. If you didn't, don't worry, you didn't miss anything. I just don't have anywhere else to do long-form thought organizing like that right now. This may be a Dwarf Fortress Let's Play tumblr but it is also my blog. Probably not going to go on a tangent that long again any time soon but I'll warn you and tell you where to skip again if I do. I deeply appreciate your patronage take it easy thanks

[str8sub4domdudez]

Here's a story I like very much. It has nothing to do with my Tumblr topics, but it's a lot of fun and has sequels.

It's a Superboy story based off the comics and the Young Justice cartoon.

Superboys - Part One

Archive Of Our Own

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248841/chapters/45773932

I've included a few excerpts in the rest of this post.

Excerpt 1: Halloween Decisions

"But I think you would look lovely as a French maid!" Lex says to Clark.

"I am not cross-dressing this Halloween," Clark says for the tenth time.

"Fine. We could go as a real life couple. Intrepid reporters, Clark Kent and Lois Lane! I'll be Clark of course, and—"

"No, Lex."

"Or we could be Disney Princes. I'll go as Prince Charming and you as Prince Eric."

"That is the best you've come up with all morning. But still, no."

"I could be Koopa and you could be Mario."

"A little on the nose, don't you think."

"Well, yes, if Lois went as Peach and Jimmy went as the little mushroom fellow."

"Who would be Luigi?"

"Bruce, I suppose, but I hear he's going as the Phantom of the Opera. I know! I could be the Lone Ranger and you could be—"

"—Tonto?"

"No, Silver."

"Geez, Lex you are so bad at this. It's a good thing I agreed to marry you before we started dating."

"We're dating? I thought we were skipping that part."

"What about Ghostbusters? Then we could tease Bruce in his Phantom costume and hit him with NERF darts."

"Pass. I refuse to dress up as anything Bill Murray was in. Brilliant actor, but antithesis of sexy."

"We could always be Power Rangers."

"What is that. Some kind of video game? Oh, that's right! Those new Justice League members I keep hearing about!"

"No, Lex. It's a children's television show."

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"They made a movie recently?"

"Nope."

"Jon Lane is obsessed with them."

"I thought he was obsessed with Transformers. Did I get him the wrong gift?"

"No, I mean, yes, he loves Transformers, but Power Rangers have these robot dinosaurs and—"

"—Oh, the Megazord! I thought that was a transformer."

"Right and so the Megazord has all these people driving it like a car, and those are the Power Rangers."

"Fuck it. I'll go as Julius Caesar and you as Cleopatra."

"Lex!"

...

жжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжж

"I feel silly," says Jon, trying on his costume in the dressing room at the costume store.

"Don't, just finish getting dressed," says Conner.

"Okay, but I'm not going out there. You guys have to come in here."

"Okay," says Conner. "Let me go see where Colton went off to." Just then, Colton comes walking up with chocolate milk and a donut. "Match! Did you run all the way to Double Nuts Pastries for that?"

"That depends. Which answer will get me in less trouble."

"Nevermind, just don't get frosting on the costumes."

"I won't. Is Jon done changing yet?"

"He changed into five different costumes while you were gone. He didn't like any of them."

"We could always go as each other."

"What?"

"Jon can be me, I'll be you and you can be Jon. All we'd have to do is wear each other's clothes. No fuss."

"Guys, come here," says Jon. "I'm finished getting dressed."

"Wow," says Conner, "you look like a very sexy RoboCop."

"I agree," says Colton, "very sexy indeed."

"I don't like this costume," says Jon, "I'm too skinny for this."

"We could go as Jocks." says Conner. "You could be a track star, a swimmer or a gymnast and Colton and I could be a football player, hockey player or wrestler."

"Or we could go as the Weather Girls and Jonny could go as Storm," says Colton.

Jon and Conner stare at him in disgusted and horrified expressions.

"You're saying you want us to dress up as overweight black women and Jon gets to dress up as Ororo Munroe?" says Conner.

"Fuck you! Martha Wash is incredible!"

"Screw that!" says Jon, "Let's all just go as X-Men. Or Avengers. Without having to be a different race or gender."

"That's not a bad idea," says Conner. "I call Captain America."

"I call Cyclops!" says Jon.

"We'll, fuck then… I guess I'll be Wolverine or someone. Although we would technically be going as a different species if we dress up as humans, mutant or otherwise, so we're already going as a different 'race'."

"Well, we're Caucasian-looking and it would be in bad taste to go in black-face. You could always be Gambit," says Jon.

"You have to be able to shuffle to be Gambit. I'll be… I dunno. Let's go home to figure this out. We can get Cosplay costumes online if we're going as comic book superheroes."

"Like you never wanted to be a comic book superhero," says Jon.

"I didn't. I'm supposed to replace Superman when he gets old. I never wanted to be any other kind of hero."

"Even for Halloween?" says Conner, "We could get those sexy first responder costumes. The skimpy ones for policeman, firefighter and EMT."

"The EMT is just a 'sexy nurse' costume for guys," says Colton.

"I'll be a sexy male nurse," says Jon.

"I call policeman!" says Conner.

"I could be a sexy firefighter," says Colton. "Fine. Do you guys want to get the standard costumes or look at designs online and have Dad order us tailored ones?"

"Tailored," says Jon. "It's hard being tall and skinny."

"Okay, that's cool," says Conner. "Let's do that then."

жжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжжж

"Cavemen?" says Roy.

"Cavemen," says Arsenal.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

There are several fun characters in this story and one of my favorites is Jason Todd.

Here are a few excerpts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason Excerpt 1: The Lecture Dodge

"Drink your beer," says Jason. "Lex won't mind, but if Clark sees I'm giving alcohol to a nineteen-year-old he's gonna try to guilt trip me."

"Does it work?" asks Jay.

"Does what work?" says Jason.

"When he tries to guilt trip you," says Jay.

"Not really, but it's not fun getting one of his lectures," says Jason.

"And what about one of my lectures?" says Superman coming in from the balcony.

"You've licked my ass before, Superman. Your pure Boy Scout routine doesn't work anymore."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

Jason Excerpt 2: Tim's Kidnapper

When Tim wakes up, he's blindfolded and tied to a chair. He listens for any evidence that his captors are nearby and when he doesn't hear any movement, breathing or talking, he reaches for his utility belt. It's gone. That's going to make things a bit more difficult, he thinks. He tries to use his wings to cut the cord but they're gone too. Finally, he decides to do this the hard way and manually tries to untie himself. It takes him a lot longer than he'd like, but he gets the cord untied and frees himself. He rips off the blindfold to find he isn't alone in the room. A man with black hair and a white streak in his bangs, wearing a black and red costume is eying him curiously. Tim kicks himself for thinking he was alone. Time to bluff.

Before he can start a convoluted speech about having trackers on him, the man walks up to him and drops several tiny, broken pieces of tech in his newly freed hands.

"I thought we could use some privacy while we're having our fun," his captor says. "We've changed locations seven times while you were out. Old Brucie has no idea where you are."

"Who's 'Brucie'?" Tim asks stiffly.

"Now, now, Tim-Tim, I know all of your secrets. His too. As a show of good faith I even let you see my face."

"You won't get away with this!" Tim says, hoping he's intimidating (but kind of knowing he's not).

"Actually, I think I will. Now, give me your best bat glare. Don't hold back."

Tim tries not to acquiesce the man, but he pulls out Tim's utility belt and gives him a look. "Come on, Timmy. Be good and I'll give you your belt back."

Tim glares at him.

"That's just pathetic," says the man. He disappears for a split second and reappears sans utility belt. "You'll have to do better if you want your things back."

"I think I'll settle for esca—"

The cold barrel of the gun is pushed against his throat before he realizes that the man has even moved.

"If you want to escape, don't tell me that's what your going to do, just do it! Here," he says getting a coil of knotted cords from a nearby table and tossing it at Tim. "Untie these behind your back. Do it faster this time." The man lazily waves the gun around in Tim's direction, and he realizes he never checked the man like he normally would. Batman trained him to observe everything about his opponents and use everything about a given situation to his advantage, but he failed to notice the multiple obvious guns strapped to the man's legs, and he was so focused on figuring out the man's powerset and thinking of what to do next that he hadn't even taken in his surroundings. As he places the rope behind his back and starts untying it, he looks around the warehouse where the man has taken him.

"About time! Now make it look like you're concentrating on the knot and looking in random directions as you focus on your goal. You're being too obvious right now."

'Oh my God!' thinks Tim, 'This guy must have a really weird fetish.'

Tim presents the unknotted cords to the man and the man does a face palm. "No! No! Buy yourself some time. Keep it looking like you aren't succeeding and use that time to take in your surroundings. Have you even seen the weapons lying around?"

"You told me to untie the knots faster this time."

"But I didn't tell you to give yourself away! Jeez. Let's try the next step. Now that you are untied and have completely given yourself away, what do you do?"

"Are you teaching me?"

"Somebody has to. My faith in Bruce is completely crushed by his inability to prepare you for this. Like I said, I have a gun, I'm pointing it at your head, you're untied, I know you're trying to escape, what do you do?"

"Surrender peacefully and try better next time?" asks Tim. The man face-palms again, and Tim uses that moment to dive for cover behind a concrete barrier where he saw several metal poles.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

Jason Excerpt 3: Batman's Apology

Bruce shows up at the LexCorp penthouse unexpectedly. He doesn't usually call first, but Lex is starting to wish he did.

"Where's Jason?" he says when he steps off the elevator.

"Hello, Bruce, how are you doing?" says Lex. "Now you try."

"Fine. Salutations, Lex. Now where's Jason?"

"I'm here," says Jason, stepping out of the staircase leading up to the next floor. "What do you want Bruce?" Jason looks at the package in Bruce's hands and knows it can't be some sort of gift or gesture of love. They're most certainly documents and mission dossiers.

"I want to apologize. I shouldn't have called you soulless, and I didn't mean to cut your throat back then. I was aiming for your shoulder, but the batarang banked off the pipe differently than I expected. I also wanted to give you this." Bruce holds out the package stiffly and Jason sees the greeting card on top of it that says 'I'M SORRY!' in big letters.

"This is a joke, right?" says Jason. There's no way he was aiming for my shoulder! There's no way that he would give me a present without an ulterior motive. And there's definitely no way he would ever apologize!

"Lex, he's a robot or an evil clone! What are you and what did you do with my father?!!"

"Jay," says Lex gently, "why don't you try using your ring to scan him?"

Jason hesitates, but then raises his ring and a shadowy aura lights up around Bruce as the ring scans him. The ring tells him unerringly that this is the real Bruce Wayne.

"This is impossible!" says Jason. "I don't believe you! What do you really want?!"

"Jason – Jay, I love you and I'm sorry for hurting you time and time again. I know I've been wrong to do and say the things I did. I wanted to do right by you and I haven't. Now, I want to change that. Will you forgive me, son?"

"No. I won't. You're years too late for some things and others you still can't take back. Do you believe me that I really have a soul?"

Bruce's mouth clenches into a line and he looks down. He raises his head to speak, but it's already too late. Jason has seen the truth in his face.

"No. You don't believe me. You think I'm a soulless zombie so why try to make amends. If I'm not your Jason, why are you willing to apologize for stuff that happened before I was a Black Lantern?"

"I don't know. I just know it's right for me to make amends. Even if you aren't the original Jason, you have his memories and his experiences. As far as you're concerned, I did those things to you. I intend to make up for it one way or another. I don't want to lose you, Jason. I want you back. I don't care who you date and I'll accept that you do things your way, but I need you in my life Jason. I don't want to be an absentee, neglectful father anymore."

"I don't believe you about the batarang."

"I didn't think you would. Either way, I want you to know I'm sorry. If nothing else, take this gift. I want you to have everything you need. These are brand new items from WayneTech Enterprises. I had them made specifically for you, but dumbed down versions will go to market in a couple of years."

Jason takes the package and goes into the living room. Lex and Bruce follow him in there and sit down in chairs on either side of the couch while Jason opens his gift on the coffee table.

He can't believe his eyes. They're bullets!! they're all color coded and there's a color code sheet in the box. He quickly goes through the list. Smoke bombs, knockout gas, tracer rounds, tranquilizers, adrenaline, Blue Kryptonite, X-Kryptonite and remedies for Joker Venom, Scarecrow's Fear Toxin, Poison Ivy's Sex Pollen and Bane's Venom – all in convenient bullets that are perfectly made to go in his Glock. Jason is astounded.

"If you have to use guns, I want them to be tools to you and not just weapons," says Bruce. "I wanted to show that I support you as a person even if we don't agree on the ethics of crime-fighting."

"Dad, I … Bruce. You know I can't stand you. I know what you think of me. I know what you think of my life choices. Why do you think I would accept this gift?"

"I don't think you will," says Bruce, "But I hope you do. You're my son and I love you. I've always loved you. That will never change. I thought the gift would be a good way to show you that I love you, instead of just saying it."

"I'm gonna need some other caliber bullets," says Jason, "For my other guns."

"Then I'll have them made," says Bruce. "Text me the details, and I'll have R&D manufacture them ASAP."

"I hate you, Dad. But I love you too. Maybe one day you'll believe me that I'm really Jason. But as long as you think I'm a soulless ghoul, we're never going to see eye to eye."

"We don't have to see eye to eye to care about each other. I don't hate you Jason. I could never hate you. And I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"This is too much Bruce," says Jason as he begins to glow in different colors. Violet and blue dance in his aura with the black and red that fades into indigo.

"Alright, son. Do you need me to leave?" asks Bruce.

"Yes. Please go."

"Alright, son. I'll call you. Maybe we can do lunch."

Blue overshines the other colors in Jason's aura.

"Maybe," Jason says. "Goodbye Bruce."

"Bye, Jay."

Lex sits next to Jason on the couch and Jason curls up in his lap. He can't understand what just happened – what would drive Bruce to act this way. In a place in his heart he won't admit exists, he misses Bruce. The truth is Jason is afraid to hope, but hope fills him now and it's overwhelming to experience. He tries to use his Black aura to block emotions out but it glows violet instead.

"What's happening to me, Lex?"

"I thought you knew that Black Lantern Power Rings can imitate all the colors of the spectrum. Your love and hope are greater than your darkness."

"It hurts, Lex."

"I know it does, Sweetie. A lot of old wounds were opened today, but maybe when they close this time there will be less damage than before. It's okay to feel things, Jason."

Jason cries.

[palukoo]

84 - what's the exact middle of the films you've seen this year lmao

ex-lady (1933)!!! a movie that you watch and go woah that couldn't have been made just a year later!

i actually enjoyed it and found it like an interesting study almost in like. what the hays code took from us lol. because like obviously there were certainly some outdated things that i don't currently recall the finer details of bc i think it was probably mostly the like standard issue 1930s shit. BUT it also genuinely did shock me in its portrayals of like sex and non-monogamy. im gonna kinda get into it so this is gonna go under a cut lol

like it was very casual on pre-marital sex and had discussions of like not wanting to get married in spite of loving each other and didn't vilify her for not wanting to get married (but then they got married anyways bc of social expectations) and like. iirc the non monogamy did just start as her husband cheating maybe but then!! they were just like okay lets do an open marriage now! we're still married but we're just gonna treat it more like casual dating we'll live separately and can see other people. which is crazy bc stuff now still barely portrays open relationships i feel (and like if so, rarely in a way that isn't a joke or explicitly like bad/cringe/whatever in some way). and like, it DID end with them being like actually we just love each other and should be with just each other but it wasn't really judgy on it, like it was like okay this isn't right for us, but not like this was dumb or bad and we never should have tried it. it honestly gave it kind of similar treatment/consideration as the conflict in their marriage caused by them working together and having like professional disagreements (that i think made her go work for someone else but NOT stop working!! win!! i may be wrong but that's my recollection). oh also on the pre-marital sex, the wiki plot summary i just checked mentioned that like it kind of implies use of birth control! hell yeah! the other wild part is that it also just. had them watching like a female burlesque dancer (or similar level of like ooh sexy woman) and then be like well that got us in the mood so we're gonna have semi-public sex now!

so yeah idk it just makes me kind of like damn obviously it's not like all other cultural things would have been fundamentally changed if we didn't have the hays code but i do wonder like how much the state of like attitudes towards sex and like portrayals of non traditional sexual/romantic relationships in movies (and eventually tv) would have been different/where we'd be today. like watching certain pre code movies and then code movies bc i think to an extent people think old movies are like that yeah bc of the code but also because it was the 1930s! and like yeah that's true and i said that too (bc the racism sexism classism etc) but there are some things they were generally like. doing interesting portrayals of that you wouldn't expect! idk if this is coherent at all i'm just always thinking about what the hays code took from us.

i know bette davis like hated this movie bc like she felt like it was too much of like a glamour girl role/they sexualized her too much in the marketing and like that's fair and i could say so much about the studio system but i'm not gonna get into it. (i will say like it's also probably bc bette was not uh particularly sex positive lets say but like. i do think it's also fair for her to want control over her own roles/publicity and how sexualized she is lol). and i will say, it's certainly not like great writing or particularly compelling characters but at the same time it's such an interesting cultural relic of a moment of sex positivity that was so immediately shot down after. also... relevant to your interests its apparently a remake of illicit (1931) starring barbara stanwyck. so there's that.

[darkangel0410]

Ooooh for Cali OT3 (for those not lurking in our chats, that's Trevor/Turcs/Jamie): 🌈 🍭 🐀 👉

For McEichel: ⭐️ 🌙 ✈️ 🔥 👉

For OT3 (Jack/Quinn/Chuckie Mac): 🐇 🕸 🥀

For Heguin (im in mourning): 🐬 🌹😒🍁

(People wish they could get a peek at the insanity that's our chats, lbr 😂😂😂)

under a cut because this got super long, lmao

Cali ot3:

🌈 - What were their first impressions of each other? 

I think Trevor and Alex's first impression of Jamie was along the lines of 'wow, he's cute but boring' because lbr we all know Jamie was the quietest guy on that Canadian WJC team. Jamie's impression of Trevor was definitely 'arrogant asshole' because - well, we've all seen/heard the quote, right? I think his first one of Alex was a little softer, probably more 'he's cute, but with Zegras, ugh' type of thing. Trevor and Alex's first impressions of each other so long ago, but it was probably 'W O W HE'S HOT'

🍭  -What are their nicknames for each other? 

Alex is usually 'sweetheart' or 'baby' because I think they're softer with him than they are with each other (it's the dimples, shhhh). Trevor's usually 'babe', unless Jamie's in a mean mood and trying to get him wound up (horny), then it's 'princess'(derogatory). Jamie's 'Jamison', 'babe', 'stud' or, when he's being mean, 'sir'.

If we're talking a bottom Jamie verse 😈😈 then it's flipped a little, Jamie gets called 'slut' (derogatory and sexy), 'baby girl' (affectionate when he's being good). Jamie calls them mostly by their names in bed, and then 'babe' (Trevor) and 'sweetheart' (Alex) outside of it

🐀 - Who steals the covers? 

Trevor, 100% - Alex sleeps in the middle so he always gets some, too, but Jamie gets left without any - which is why he has an extra blanket stashed by the bed in case it's cold out

👉 - Who is better at giving directions?

Oh, all three of them suck at it - they're so, so bad that no one bothers asking them anymore and just use gps

McEichel:

⭐️ - Who is a morning person? 

Oh, Jack for sure - he gets up early to run/workout, depending on the day. Connor's usually up by 8 in the off-season, but Jack's up at 5:30am no matter what time of year it is

🌙 - Who is a night person? 

Connor, probably - they'll both stay up if there's friends over, they're out, etc etc, but Jack's usually out by 11pm if there's no extenuating circumstances (hockey games)

✈️ - How do they celebrate anniversaries? 

Their anniversary is at the very tail end of the season (June 26) so I think they have a small thing at home, just them and their families, then go somewhere in July for a week, maybe to Cancun, Greece - anywhere that's warm and sunny and there's a beach nearby.

🔥 - Who realized they were interested in who first? 

Connor for sure - he fell in love with Jack the first time they played each other at U16s and Jack knocked him on his ass (by the time they finally got together, Dylan and Mitch were both ready to throw a party, they were so tired of hearing about it) - and he also made the first move on Jack draft night.

He had to play the long game because it took Jack a little bit to admit that he loved Connor, too (feelings make him grumpy!!!)

👉 - Who is better at giving directions?

It depends where they're at!!! In the States, Jack is, and in Canada Connor is

Ot3:

🐇 - Who wants to cuddle the other longer in the morning? 

Jack and Quinn definitely get more chances to cuddle together, especially in the off-season, but they double-team Charlie and make him stay and cuddle them when he's there

🕸 - What does one do that scares the other?

Watching horror movies, for sure - Jack gets scared SO easily that sometimes Quinn will tell him he thinks he heard something just Jack will crawl in his lap

Charlie tried to scare them one (1) time, and he just thought it'd be funny to sneak into the lakehouse and tap Jack on the shoulder when he didn't know Charlie was there yet, and Jack screamed loud enough to bring Quinn running downstairs buck ass naked and soaking wet from the shower with a baseball bat, and Jack punched him in the nose before he realized who it was

So, you know, they all agreed to never do that again 😂😂😂

🥀 - Do they both get jealous?

Hmm, I don't think, like, it's jealous jealous - not in the sense that one of them's going to cheat, or that one of them love the other more, but I do think Quinn gets sad sometimes that Jack and Charlie get to see each other so much during the season

Heguin:

🐬 - Who made the first move? 

They both got tipsy and kissed each other the night before the draft and then refused to talk about for a decade until they got drunk and kissed again at Worlds, then Tyler was like 'want to fuck' and they just sort of fell together after that

🌹 - Who initiated the first kiss? 

Oppps, see the last answer lol

😒 - Do they get jealous easily?

Hmmm, I think by the time they get together - mid 20s - they're both more secure in themselves and each other, so not really

🍁 - How was their first kiss?

Sloppy mostly! They were tipsy and seventeen and just not really sure what they were doing

*

Thanks for the ask, babe!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ (otp asks)