#[knows i wont fucking do that so i post the 1 rough i have instead] all in a days work

[heartorbit]

i wanna make a prsk major arcana...

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

thinking abt that one post abt that person who couldnt move into their new apartment properly after they went thru a rlly fuckin rough patch n their friends just came round n did it all 4 them and didnt offer their help they basically forced it into their hands.

man i need smth like that ig

bc like ive got to the point where i dont want to talk to anyone and would just rather p much ghost everyone than to respond to a msg being like “if u ever need anything just say”

but like. i appreciate that. but if anything that makes things worse. bc like. i cant say. my brain wont let me. and ik this is my fault n all bc the only way things can get better is if i accept help bla bla bla

but like. i just cant accept help bc i need to first identify whats wrong and then how someone can help me and then also become a pleasant person to be around

bc like. being depressed makes me miserable. and also miserable to be around. like rn i am such a fucking dickhead bc i am so sad.

so like

i somehow need to basically halfway fix myself before i can even ask for help ???

so i just. dont. like ive got abt 50 msgs ive completely ignored for the past month or 2 bc i just. cant ???  like how do you tell all ur friends “hey im sorry i havent texted, i most likely wont for a while. i dont hate u, i just hate myself, and have convinced myself to start hating everyone else. im difficult to love and finding it difficult to love rn and i cant guarantee it wont be like this in the future. there isnt a whole lot u can do to help since that requires me to first accept the help, but because i hate myself right now, accepting help is harder than doing my hundred missing assignments.”

or i could just say “sry 4 not texting. kinda been goin thru it. ttyl.”

but no i literally just say nothing.

and the thing is its like im just fucking stuck in this sort of chasm. and on one side is me reaching out to my friends again and asking to spend time and things going back to normal. but that also means getting a response abot 1/5 of the time, and almost all of those responses are “sry cant rn maybe some other time” and end up driving myself back into the depression pit bc i cant cope with getting rejected so fucking often

and on the other side is just letting all my friends ask to spend time and risk not getting anything at all bc im just waiting for them to ask anything and let me know they want me around which is pretty much equally as bad as the other side of the chasm

so instead ive sunk to the bottom between each side where im completely ignoring everyone i know to the point some of them think im dead just because i cant fucking deal with some rejection.

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Daminette Rough Layout AU #1

Warning- This is a Salt AU, it contains Lila salt, Adrien Salt, Alya Salt and Class Salt. Some of the Salt is dramatized, pkease read at your own digression.

Note- Changing things up a bit-they are in high school now-Damian 16 and Marinette 15 and juniors, obviously things are different from canon. Gabriel gave up both miraculous after Adrien dies in one of the akuma fights, he has Nooroo and Duusu bring them to the guardian. Marinette helps heal Duusu so that if he is ever used again the holder will not start to die. Soon after Master Fu takes back Adrien's miraculous and names Marinette the guardian.

He doesnt lose his memories but he does pass away a week later. Marinette also deletes her original website and makes and entire new one under MDC designs after Lila threatens to leave bad reviews.(This happens before she meets Damian, right when they are entering high school.)

They met online after Damian got tired of his brothers making fun of him for talking like an old man. He found Marinette on Twitter, (She has a very popular Twitter blog where she Tweets in English and is considered a meme god.) and after reading her tweets decided that she'd be a good teacher.

After reaching out they agreed on how much she'll be paid and a time that works best for both of them. Every Monday & Wednesday the video chat when Damian has his lunch and study period. For Damian it is 12 to 1 pm, and for Marinette it is 7 to 8 pm. After two months Marinette has successfully made Damian her friend, and he has began opening up to her more. Meanwhile Damian begins to mess with his brothers using memes.

Tim to Jason- I will die if I don't get coffee soon.

Damian passing by the kitchen on his phone- Then perish.

Jason-...Did he just?

Tim- Impossible.

_____________

Dick over the coms while on patrol-I really want candy right now.

Damian drops down next to him and pulls a tidepod of of his belt giving it to Dick before continuing on.

Dick-What the fuck...

Tim having seen from a distance-What did Damian give you candy?

Dick- He gave me a tidepod.

Jason-Your shitting me Goldie.

______________

Jason-What are you eating Damian?

Damian taking a bite of a pop tart- Ravioli...

Jason-Im going fucking crazy.

Alfred-Language Master Jason.

They now text each other durning their free time, Marinette loves receiving pictures of Damian's pets and silly pictures of Damian's friend Jon. Damian loves seeing pictures of her newest designs and Paris at night.

Jon is the only person who knows about Marinette and thats because he crashed one of Damian's classes. He gushes over the fact that Damian is talking to his favorite person on Twitter, then full on fanboys a second later when she follows him back on Twitter. Soon after she becomes friends with Jon too, Lila comes back. After two weeks of fighting her she stops after both Damian and Jon point out that if her classmates were really her friends they wouldnt believe someone they just met over her. Marinette stops doing extra things for the class no more free pastries, banners, clothes or anything. She spends majority of her time on school work, her comissions and talking with Damian and Jon.

Madame Bustier at one point asks her to stay after class. She tells her she is disappointed that Marinette is distancing herself form the class so much. Marinette just tells her that she is done, that if she wants a perfect role model then she should use Lila instead and leaves. The next day she tells Madame Bustier she is stepping down as class president, everyone in the class except for Chloe and Marinette vote for Lila. Marinette has had more free time then she has had in a while and is thriving. She is able to take more and more commissions and even allows Jagged and Clara to give other celebrities access to her website. With a push from Jon she also sets up a Twitter and Instagram account under MDC Designs. With in no time everyone is trying to get an MDC original.

At one point she gets a call from Jon asking her how much it would cost for a MDC original for his mom. Marinette smiles softly telling him to just get his moms measurements for her. When he argues she finally agrees to accept payment but gives him a family discount. Jon agrees with a huff, a month later Jon sends her a video of his mom opening his gift.

Lois-Oh Jon love you know you didnt have to get me anything.

Jon-And let Connor out do me this year? No way.

Connor laughing-Oh shut it Jon!

Jon-cone on open it already mom!

Lois lauging before unwrapping the box- Is this? Jon is this a MDC box?

Connor looking at him with wide eyes.

Jon-open it and see!

Clark-So thats why you asked me for her measurements.

Lois pulls a beautiful knee length navy blue pencil dress. It had a classy V neck and flounce bell sleeves Jon is this and MDC original?

Jon-weeell if you look at the inside of the right sleeve your see her signature marking. Thats not all though mom theres another box!

Lois grabs the other box and unwraps it opening it quickly to find a pair of white lace up Oxford pumps with matching navy laces, MDC hand stitched on the back in navy.

Lois-How did you-how did you get MDC originals?

Jon laughing-I'll never tell!

Marinette saves the video on her phone and tells him he wants a photo of her in it for her website. A week later he send her pictures of his mom in the outfit posing with his dad and the next day he send pictures of her posing with Bruce Wayne on the red carpet. She quickly posts them on Instagram and Twitter tagging Lois, Clark, Bruce and Daily Planet.

'I knew Mrs. Lane would make this one of a kind outfit look beautiful! I was happy to make the dress and shoes as a surprise from her son! Mrs. Lane your son has my number, if you ever want another original talk to him! 💋'

Lois immediately responds to her tweet thank her for the amazing gift, while also asking how her son got in contact with MDC.

Marinette- ' 🤫🤫😘😘💋'

Jon-'You'll never know!!'

Lois, with her bosses approval, writes an article joking about the mystery that is MDC at also an interview where she grills her son on how he knows MDC.

Its a blows up and part of Jon's interview becomes a meme. This part;

Jon-Superman, please come save me from my mom!

Marinette being the meme godess she is decides to quote it on Twitter, but she messes up and posts it on MDC desgins.

MDC-Superman, please come save me from these deadlines!

Half an hour later

MDC-That was meant for my personal Twitter...

Now everyone is also talking about MDC memeing.

After talking with the Kwami Marinette decides to tell Damian and Jon about her time as Ladybug, and how she still goes out and patrols to stop muggers. In return one day Damian and Jon flies him and Damian to paris and they finally meet in person and they tell her their own identities. They leave Gotham at 7 am in Gotham and make it to Paris at 3 pm and wait for her outside of her parents bakery. Marinette flips out and practically tackles the both if them in a hug. She pulls them inside happily introducing her parents to her American friends. After they tell her they decide to spend the rest of the day together. Marinette also takes their measurements telling them its for a surprise. Damian tells her that his brothers are obsessed with MDC and how the wouldnt stop hounding Jon when they found out he had gotten in contact with her.

They go out and Marinette shows them Paris while Jon is slowly pushing them together. He is ecstatic when Marinette wraps one of her fingers around Damien's finger and he respond by grabbing and holding her hand. They are all immensly happy until they are passing by a park and notices her class having a party. At first she doesnt care and just shrugs it off, until the class notices them. Alya accuses Marinette of trying to start drama, she rolls her eyes telling Alya she didnt even know about the party and was just showing her friends around. Damian frowns glaring at the class when he feels Marinette hand start to shake and releases her hand wrapping an arm around her waist in support. Jon is also frowning but simply reminds Marinette that they were going out to eat. Marinette nods and begins telling them about the restaurant they were going to while leaning into Damian's side.

They turn leaving the class behind only for Adrien to hurry after them. Adrien tries to convince Marinette to return and spend time with the class saying he missed his friend. Marinette tells him that they arent friends anymore, that friends dont allow lies to be spread about their friends. She takes the boys and they finally make it to the restaurant.

Damian pays refusing to let Marinette or Jon touch the check. They spend the rest of their time at Marinette's house watching movies until they leave at 9pm wishing Marinette goodnight and making it back to Gotham at 3 pm. When they get back to the manor Bruce confronts Damian asking why he got notified that Damian's card had been used in Paris. Thats how Bruce finds out about Marinette.

Bruce- shes been teaching you memes?

Damian-yes.

Bruce-...well at least your making friends.

Damian-dont tell the others, they'll want to meet her and Id rather not be embarrassed

Bruce-I wont say anything until they catch you then.

Around the end of Marinette's junior year Lila accuses Marinette of theft and she is once again expelled. Only this time Marinette gets the school board involved and she is quickly cleared of charges. once again. However she decides not to return to the school tired of their treatment. Instead with the help of Jagged and her parents permission she enrolls at Gotham Academy and doesnt tell Damian to surprise him. Jon does know that way he could help her.

Within the week Marinette is in Gotham in her new penthouse apartment with her new gaurdian, a maid/nanny that Penny had recommended. Her name is Margaery she is in her 60s. The next day Marinette is dropped of at school by Margaery, Jon is already there early and helps her get his schedule and everything. Then they wait for Damian to arrive hiding until the see him open his locker Jon distracts him while Marinette hides behind the locker door. The school is very surprised whe. Damian smiles brightly at seeing her. Within the day she is known around the school as both Sunshine and Gotham's new Goddess.

Soon enough Damian Marinette and Jon are never seen withiut tge other except in classes. Many teachers see Marinette as a blessing classes have been calmer shes always willing to volunteer and shes even started tutoring some of the students. Even though she entered late in the year she starts to help the student council and things were more organized and running smoother. What everyone is really happy about is how she seems to bring out the teen in Damian and encourage him to act his age. The only reason they havent posted about her and Damian's relationship is because Damian made it clear he didnt want his family to know.

He starts calling her Angel and Red Bird. Marinette starts calling him Dove and Birdie. They slowly start going on dates while also making sure to hang out with Jon so he didnt feel left behind. Its the beginning of summer when Marinette gets invited to a Wayne gala by Bruce himself with a little note.

'Miss Dupain-Cheng, I would like to meet the girl that has stolen my youngest's attention. Please do not inform him I invited you, I think it will be quite the surprise for him. -Bruce Wayne

She tells Damian to wear a seafoam green tie because it will bring out his eyes, in a sly way so that they will be matching. She then makes a seafoam green Asymmetrical A-line off the shoulders dress adding layers of tulle that forms teirs and finishes with horsehair hemlines. The MDC signature is stictched on to the second layer of tulle.

The night of the Gala she is dropped off by Margaery and Jon leaves his parents to meet her. She tells him that Damian didnt know either and Bruce wanted to surprise him. Jon starts laughing causing Marinette to dissolve into giggles. This catches Jon's parents eyes and they walk over. Jon wuickly introduces her as one of his best friends. Lois and Marinette quickly hit it off and enter the gala together with Jon and Clark following behind them. After 5 minutes Damian spots them, and discreetly hurries over to them.

Damian-Angel!

Lois and Clark are surprised at the nickname and that Damian is smiling even more surprised when he hugs her and holds her hand gently. They stare into each others eyes for a moment until Lois coughs catching boths attention. Damian greets them as he lets go of Marinette's hand wrapping an arm around her waist as she does the same. They stand talking with each other until Lois spots someone she wants to interview and hurries off with Clark. The three of them share a look before all saying food at once. Jon walks ahead of them as Marinette and Damian follow talking to themselves.

M-'Your father wanted to meet me so Im afraid I will no longer be a secret.'

D-'Of course he did, I was hoping to keep those embarrassments known as my brothers away.'

This causes Marinette to laugh leaning her head on his shoulder.

M-'I am sure they arent that bad.'

They spend a good half hour talking with Jon and eating before Bruce finds them and introduces himself to Marinette. Five minutes later she notices Damian's brothers starring at them in shock. She starts giggling and points it out to Damian who groans. Soon after the boys rush over to interrogate their brother dragging him away from Marinette Jon and Bruce.

While Damian is dealing with them Jagged and Penny both find Marinette. Eventually the boys force Damian to introduce them to Marinette. She hits it off with all of them promising to visit the mansion. Jon convinces Damian to ask Marinette to be his girlfriend. He asks her to dance with him and asks while they are dancing. That night Marinette Damian and Jon leave together for an impromptu sleepover at Marinette's. Margaery picks them up greeting both parents and assuring them that there kids will be safe, and they will be camping out in the living room.

Marinette surprises the boys with handmade pjs once they get to her house and Margaery surprises them with cookies. The next day she goes to the mansion with Damian and gets to know his brothers more piecing together who is who of the Batfamily. At one point Jason insinuates that Marinette couldnt fight so she challenges his to a spar. Jason being cocky holds back and gets his butt kicked, he asks for a rematch and doesnt hold back this time, still gets his butt kicked.

While Damian and Marinette are saying goodbye she jokes about how long its going to take his siblings to realize shes a hero not a civilian. Damian finds it hilarious. When Marinette gets home she tells Margaery that she was going up to the roof to look at the stars for inspiration. Margaery allows her making her take a blanket, hor chocolate and some cookies with her. That night Nightwing lands on her roof and 'startles' causing her to throw her cup at him hitting him in the gut

Robin chuckling-That bitch empty,

Mari and Robin together-Yeet!

Marinette laughs offering him a cookie as Nightwing gets up

Nightwing-Nice throw.

Marinette laughs harder her eyes twinkling.

Mari-Sorry you startled me I must have lost track of time I should head back home now. Have a safe patrol Birdies!

She says before passing other of them leaving the plate of cookies behind for them. Over the summer Marinette and Damian visit her parents for two weeks before returning to Gotham. The rest of the summer is filled with dates between her and Damian the Gotham Gazette is having a field day with them.

They're referred to as the Goddess and the Prince and every date is talked about the next day. When summer is over Marinette Damian and Jon are back for their senior year. Marinette decides to run for student body president and Jon runs as her vice president, they both tease Damian about being the trophy boyfriend and he responds that he is fine with it as long as hes the trophy boyfriend to Marinette. Marinette and Jon win with an almost unanimous vote. It is half way through their senior year when Damian's brothers realize she knows. Bruce and Babs already know. Jason teasingly jokes about Damian outing them to a civilian and Marinette jist goes

Marinette-Jayby(This is her nickname for him), I have beaten you in spars 9 out of 10 times and you still think Im a civilian.

Tim-What?

Marinette sighs before calling Tiki out and transforming. (She has a different outfit. Period. Her hair is pulled into a high ponytail, held by a red ribbon. It has a completely black mask, her top was sleeveless and was a deep red. She had gloves that stopped at her elbows the same deep red but with black poka-dots. Her pants were completely black with a red belt holding her yoyo. Her outfit was finished with red combat boots with black soles.) Everyone is silent as they taken in her outfit.

Damian-God your so beautiful.

Marinette-Aw Dove

Que a sweet kiss where Jason gags jokingly before Tim flips out about her being Ladybug. Marinette jokingly says that he didnt react that way to her being MDC.

Tim-what?

Dick-This time your oulling my leg.

Marinette-You didnt know? I was always giving you guys family discounts.

Tim-Your MDC...my favorite fashion designer is my future sister-in-law. Thats why your commissions always seemed cheaper than others. Im chalant right now.

This causes Dick to burst out laughing.

Dick-Really becuase Im whelmed!

Bruce smiles slightly remembering when his eldest would use to his 'Unwords' all the time.

That night Marinette patrols with them and Gotham gains a new hero LadyBird. With a little shove from Damian and begging from Tim, Marinette begins to grow MDC even more by partnering with Wayne Enterprises. Marinette and Damian are the power couple of the school, they have majority of their classes together both being in AP and Honors classes. As the school president Marinette is notified that during the last quarter of second semester a French class is doing an exchange program at Gotham Academy.

Her and Jon have to escort them around the school the first week. Marinette argues a bit at first.

Mari-I understand that it is important but Jon and I are still heavily working on Prom, Senior's Last Peprally, Senior Awards, Senior vs Freshman Football, Prom King and Queen vote and The Senior trip.

Jon-Mari is right is there anyway we could pick someone else to show them around. There are a few other people in student council that speak French.

They both convince the Principal to allow the Secretary of the Student Council, Candy St.Cloud, to show them around. Marinette, Jon and Damian avoid them, none of Marinette's old class knows Marinette is there until votes for Prom King and Queen pops up and Marinette's name is on the ballet.

Lila bursts into tears claiming her Dami promised her she'd be on the ballet since he goes to that school. They all try to hunt her down and give her shit for booting Lila off. However majority of Gotham academy has noticed their attitude towards Gotham's Goddess and everyone makes sure Marinette is unreachable.

They pretty much only see glimpses of her until Senior's Last Peprally when she and Damian are announced Prom King and Queen. Their boos are covered up by the school's cheers. Marinette and Damian share a quick kiss which causes more cheers as the teachers roll their eyes calling out Pda. Then both her and Jon announce whats going to be happening at the peprally.

At the end of it all the seniors get together for one last class photo in the front is Jon Marinette and Damian. Damian and Marinette are wearing the sashes and crowns and Marinette is in the middle of them. Bustier's class is upset they cant be a part of the picture because they arent actually seniors at the school. The next night is Senior awards the class doesnt go but the trio does.

Marinette and Damian get best couple.

Damian gets the award for best grades.

Jon gets the award for most likely to secede in life.

That night all three are on the news and trending on Twitter when they go out to celebrate at Bat Burger, videos and pictures are posted off Marinette and Jon dying of laughter as Damian cuts his burger with a knife and fork. At the hotel Lila is crying claiming that Damian is cheating in her with Marinette. The class continuously message Marinette even when they get a response saying that the person is not Marinette amd that they've had the number for two months.

The next day at lunch they confront Marinette, they followed Jon to the room the Student council eat lunch in. Que them berating Marinette infront of everyone including the teachers. Marinette just rolls her eyes not wanting to give them the time of day.

Alya-I cant believe you tricked Lila's boyfriend into dating a bully like you!

This causes Jon to launch to her defense, he steps in front of Marinette glaring at the class.

Jon-Lila's boyfriend?? You mean Damian, so Lila was dating Damian first?

Lila-Yes! And Marinette purposely seduced him!

Jon-Really tell me when did you firat meet Damian?

Lila-oh he was so sweet! It was when we were 6 and we met at a gala here in Gotham! A older women was being incredibly mean to me and he stood up for me telling me that he'd have his dad kick her out. We were always meeting up over the summer and started dating at the beginning of senior year!

Jon-Oh so you know Arabic?

Lila-What?

Jon smirking-Well Damian didnt learn English until he was 8, his first language is English. Also you couldn't possibly have met Damian here when he was 6 because Damian didn't come to Gotham until he was 10. When his dad was informed that he had a son. On top of that Damian spends every summer with his family and closest friends. Actually he usually spends a few weeks on my family's farm, this summer he didnt because he went to Paris with Marinette. Also at the beginning of senior year? St. Cloud, when did Damian ask Marinette out.

St. Cloud- Beginning of the summer at Mr. Wayne's first charity gala of the summer, he asked her while they were dancing. It was really cute and Marinette looked amazing in her MDC dress!

Mari-Thank you St. Cloud, I could give you her number if you'd like a dress

Lila runs away embarrassed the class starring at Jon and Marinette in shock.

Alya-who-who do you think you are?!

Mari-Alya do you really not recognize your idols son?

Marinette is disappointed as she introduces them to Jon Kent, after that the teacher finally forces the French class out, while also telling them how kuch trouble they'll be in.

The class starts trying to get on Marinette's good side for the rest of the year but she ignores them. Prom comes and goes and when its finally time for graduation Damian is valedictorian. He gives a fairly inspirational speech and at the end he smirks finishing it with.

Dami-And lastly I would like to thank my eldest brother, without him Id never be able to give this sappy inspirational speech, he is really good at them.

When they throw their caps in the air Damian finds Marinette and dips her pulling her into a deep kiss.

That night while they are all celebrating at the Wayne Mansion Marinette finally lets go of Paris, she decides that her place is in Gotham with Damian.

Lets do a time skip!

Marinette is the top name in Fashion, Damian is Co-Ceo of Wayne enterprises with Tim. They are both married and living in Marinette's penthouse together with Margaery, I am to emotionally invested to kill off her or Alfred even if it is do to age. They visit the mansion almost every day, and family dinners are common.

Jon started going out with St. Cloud and are engaged, he has also taken up the mantle of Superman.

Damian has taken up the mantle of Batman with his Robin, Johnn'i Thomas Grayson-Wayne, Richard and Koriand'r's second child that did not inherit his mothers powers, and his partner Ladybird. That is until Marinette discovers she is pregnant. She surprises the family while they are getting their family portrait redone, with only Kori and the photographer knowing.

All the girls are in chairs with the boys behind them. Seating goes.

Babs, Kate, Selina, Marinette, Kori, Stephanie, and Cass. For a few of the pictures Marinette holds up a sign saying, "Another Wayne is on the way!" Then they hide the sign so they have a regular family portrait.

A few days later when the entire family is gathered to see the photos they are surprised when Bruce stars at them in shock. Alfred and Margaery merly smile offering congratulations, everyone is confused until Bruce turns the picture around.

Damian is looking at the pictures in shock until he jumps up and picks up Marinette spinning her around. Soon everyone is screaming and cheering offering congratulations. While Damian and Marinette hold each other close crying softly.

Mari-Your gonna be a Daddy Dove.

Damian-I love you so much Marinette. So much.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[botanyshitposts]

A little while ago you made a remark about ferns along the lines of "God really left you unfinished huh?". Can you please elaborate on that?

yes and i have to admit that was specifically a vague post at one single particular fern, Vittaria appalachiana: 

‘wow, that really doesnt look like a fern’ you might say. ‘that looks like a moss. that looks like the beard stubble of seedless plants’. but no. this is a patch of this species of fern. it is the only one of it’s extremely specific life style type known to man.  

i would like to take you all on a journey. imagine, for a moment, an alternate universe where a human dude loses his dick in a cave (stay with me here) and instead of dying, the dick forms its own goddamn civilization (i PROMISE this will make sense shortly). like it just learns to reproduce asexually into more identical dicks. technically this is a population of humans, just one that throws us for a loop because generally, thats definitely not how humans go on in life, but like technically it’s a population of humans. this is a very, very rough analogy for what this plant is.

allow me to explain how the hell this happened. those who have studied plants might remember the infamous botanical concept of the ‘alternation of generations’, which is known for like, fucking everyone up in every introductory bio class ever because although it’s nearly ubiquitous in plants, us animals dont have to worry about it, and it’s so alien it’s hard to learn. basically, the alternation of generations describes how plants reproduce in a cycle of two major stages: the sporophyte stage, which is a structure that produces spores, and the gametophyte stage, a structure that produces gametes.

for example, we know the sporophyte stage of flowering plants as the actual flowering plant, and the gametophyte stage as very specifically pollen and the ovules (inside the flower ovaries). pollen in and of itself isn’t the equivalent of sperm in human bodies; it’s the equivalent of a penis, which then lands on a stamen and grows into a microscopic structure that THEN produces the actual sperm for fertilization. the anthers of a plant do not produce sperm; they produce things that grow into penises that then produce sperm, which then fertilize the egg cells (produced by the ovules inside the flower ovaries) that grow into a new sporophyte in the form of a seed and it’s subsequent mature plant. yes this is wild and again, its notoriously one of the hardest things to learn and teach in biology, but stay with me here. 

in ferns and nonflowering plants, this cycle is a bit more evident; ferns produce spores, which then land and germinate into the fern gametophytes, which look like this and can be seen with the naked eye: 

these then grow male and female reproductive parts that produce the plant equivalent of sperm and eggs. like human sperm, fern sperm are flagellated. unlike human sperm, fern sperm are able to sense pheromones from other gametophytes nearby and literally swim through water out in the open to have sexy times in the mud, which i thought i would mention because it terrifies me. this sperm then fertilizes the egg in another gametophyte, and the new fern literally bursts chest buster style out of the gametophyte into a new baby fern. the entire life cycle looks like this: 

which brings us back to Vittaria appalachiana, the only currently known fern that does not have a sporophyte stage. 

things about this: 

1. there is no fern on this fern. this fern has evolved past the mortal fern form. it has ascended. it has deleted like, 95% of the chart above in favor of only the mature gametophyte on the upper right

2. this fern reproduces exclusively by budding. like. asexually. like, i mentioned earlier in this post that the gametophytes produce sperm and ovules and have sex, but nah. not for these lads. they gave that up long ago. now each individual just makes tiny organs that fall off and grow into identical fern gametophytes, and like technically this should be like…..really bad? like theres a reason for sexual intercourse, and that’s because it lets genes get recombined into more resilient offspring so you dont end up with inbreeding and all that awful stuff, as well as allowing for evolution and diversity within a population and all that. but somehow, this species has circumvented this with the absolutely galaxy brain take that you cant have problems with inbreeding if you dont breed. like, sure, it theoretically slows evolution down to a goddamn crawl and makes it incredibly vulnerable to disease, but like. sure. its made it this long, somehow

3. these ferns live in caves. in the grand scheme of things this isn’t a big deal, because like, plenty of fern species love caves for several primary niche ecological reasons that i wont go into here, but one of the reasons V. appalachiana is the only known fern to only live like this is because the gametophyte stage in ferns isn’t made to last, it’s made to have sex and die. there’s little to no protection from the sun on a gametophyte. it’s prone to drying out. it’s less resilient to temperature extremes than a fully grown plant would be. there are so many reasons why, in theory, to us mere mortals, evolving to live eternally in the (arguably) most vulnerable stage of one’s life cycle in a cave where temperatures regularly get low, in a region where winter is a thing, would like, a terrible idea. 

but….Vittaria appalachiana is an absolute chad. 

somehow these little madmen have done it. they live in peak form in appalachian cave entrances just to flex. we aren’t even sure how they really happened, either, like the details about how they evolved into such chads remain murky. so like i say that god left them unfinished, and personally i still refer to them like that in my head when i think of them, but i suppose the real question is if god really left these lads unfinished or are these lads are the only finished thing on this earth. like this could very well be the best shit evolution has ever come up with. like maybe humans really missed a solid chance with this strategy

[ghoestys]

i’m literally pulling this out of my ass so if there are errors and stuff doesnt make sense then please myob and pretend like u understand what im saying im trying to do this before i get caught not doing hw he comes at 6 n its 5:43 rn 

statistics

full name: suzy nora yoon nickname(s): su, suz (pronounced like snooze without the n)  age: twenty three date of birth: tba! hometown: tba! gender: cis female religion: athiest sexuality: bisexual hair colour: black/dark brown eye colour: brown height: 5'5″ tattoos: tba! piercings: tba!

prompt + blackmail

a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a senior undergrad student majoring in aviation engineering. they are as gregarious as they are aimless.

TW DRUGS!  1. to pay for yale's very expensive tuitition, suzy sells weed that's both fake and real, depending on who is buying and if she likes them. she's not a good seller, though, so this hasn't been the best form of income for her. 2. got accepted into the aviation engineering program, but suzy can't complete her homework without the help of drugs to keep her mind focused and creative enough to understand the problems

about 

family/upbringing/childhood/wtvr

so! literally pulling this out of my ass and making things up as i go! suzy was born in a family with her parents (mom & dad), her older sister, and her older brother. the family was strictly middle class and her parents and siblings were very hardworking. her siblings were good at what they did and they excelled in their academics because they tried hard and all that stuff!

growing up, suzy followed her siblings and her parents and was basically a gifted child from the very start. elementary and middle school was not hard for her and she was in all the advanced and gifted programs. the family was calm and there wasn’t anything drastic that removed the peace or caused any disruption at all. like. they were just chillin. 

i think suzy had an average relationship with her parents. they were still asian, so like... it’s as good as it was going to get. she was somewhat close to her siblings, but seeing as they were 5/8 years older than her, the age gap wasn’t that welcoming to the baby of the family. she was kinda just.. having fun on her own being smart n shit. 

anyways! high school! where all gifted kids literally come to die! due to her shit from elem & middle school, she was offered a full ride scholarship to some prestigious school and as asian parents, they were NOT going to reject that free ride to a school that would help ensure suzy’s success in the future. she went from being one of the smartest kids to being another burnt out gift child and high school was fucking ROUGH! 

bitch really had a fucking crisis and burned the fuck out. her not being the smartest bitch anymore literally killed everything in her and she just stopped being that. she met people and what do u know! got into the wrong crowd where drugs and alcohol was everyones bff! 

she got into that pretty heavily by sophomore year i would say. she was just. yea. 

i mean. she was burnt out  but her grades were still fine if u saw them. studying isnt hard for suzy and shes pretty smart, but she wasn’t at the very top of her class anymore and thats what killed her. instead of having straight a’s, suzy was getting b’s and a few c’s. in a family where anything other than an a was acceptable it really just killed suzy some more 

anyways! drugs and alcohol! made her feel good so she did it. she found that weed was the best thing as well as some tranquilizers/anything that relaxed her essentially. she just liked the feeling of floating n not caring or feeling any pressure like. she wanted to b in her own world n shit. 

college/the elites

after graduating high school, she didnt apply to college right away because honestly? drugs and alcohol and a bitch didnt care by her senior year. her grades were not the best and while she couldve gotten into college, she literally had no interest for college and her parents at this point baiscally disowned her so like? who the fuck is gonna pay for her college??

her work ethic is the worst bc shes so careless like. bitch had a shift from 1-7pm and showed up at 5 because she literally didnt feel bothered enough to show up.

anyways a year or so after graduating high school (idk the math rn) she got really high off something and just. did a whole ass application to yale bc she decided to apply for the shits n giggles. wrote a fake letter of recommendation, wrote killer essay and personal reflection shit or wtvr, and even submitted the application with an attached document of her outlining an entire airplane that wouldve been fully functional except for a few tweaks n shit that was needed

she some how got in from that (this is fake this would probs not b real <3 teehee) and bc she was now accepted and going to yale (she accepted high aha a theme for her), she had to think about how to fund for this shit so she decided to get into drug dealing!

which is honestly. not going good like a bitch again has poor work ethics so her as a drug dealer is so.... she literally got into it bc of euphoria bc it looked easy but doing it... is not easy at all but its her only form of funding so she’s doing it. kinda. loosely. please fire her. 

idk where to put this but. suzy is kinda like that girl from the queens gambit where she feels like she needs drugs to function so like she ditches class but she’ll do all her assignments nicely bc she thinks the drugs give her superpowers to b smart n at the top of her academic class again

when shes under the influence of anything she feels like she can function more or like her life is just... better when shes not sober and ull rarely really see her sober like shes usually just on something 

idk where the post is rn bc im too lazy to look for it bc i jsut got a text that he was coming now but!!! its the tweet where a guy was drunk n drew up an entire blue print of an airplane and that is literally fucking suzy i swear to god 

when shes high she’s like the smartest bitch around (shes smart without drugs but doesnt believe that) and can build airplanes n blueprints n solve maths n wtvrs

suzy is truly an asian stem bitch and the sciences and math is where she excels the most!!!! probs won awards n competitions for math and science but doesnt really acknowledge that much becase like... its just not something shes focused on

got into the elites by just making a blueprint of a plane from scratch infront of the twins like. legit just went infront of them, started making the blueprint from scratch to finish n gave it to  them saying here is a blueprint for a new private plane u guys can build for urselves 

personality 

personality wise she is very friendly n goofy n chill n chaotic 

literally a dumbass n honestly really annoying just ask orion 

shes just a stoner having fun doing her life n not really caring about anything like. how she made it to senior year who the fuck knows i really  dont honestly

i think the main way to describe her is bimbo like thats it 

not really into sharing her life and is more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations that are genuinely deep and personal. she will not talk to u about her problems and insecurities seriously (maybe she’ll do it in a self deprecating way) unless she trusts u w her life. otherwsie she will keep it to herself n prays that her stoner part will make people believe shes just chillin w no problems

when it comes to conversations about  nonsense n fake deep shit like what is air then suzy will not shut the fuck up like if u wanna talk to someone about nonsense then suzy is truly ur bitch like. a bitch can fucking talk 

doesnt mind being alone bc she has fun on her own but she prefers company more bc she likes having fun and having someone to accompany wtvr she does. whether its for smoking/drinking or hanging out but also just for like... going to class if she chooses to attend and doing everyday errands like groceries or wtvr. she doesnt really do groceries tho bc she just steals orions fodo but when she does choose to go she likes having people with her :) 

she doesnt have a passion for anything bc she doesnt dream of labor but the closest thing about b making airplanes or helicopters like. blueprints  come easy to her n she enjoys making them bc she feels like shes actually capable of something bc shes aware that making them isnt something everyone can do 

u can treat her like a dumbass n she wont call u on it even tho shes kinda smart bc she feels like shes a dumbass

most likely has bad self esteem and feels like a failure but uses drugs n alcohol to ignore that feeling :) 

probs the least judgemental person ull ever meet bc she really doesnt care about what u do like. she hears the secrets getting outted n she doesnt care there r high chances that she’ll still look at u the same way

[spirit-shroud]

i replayed kz again tonight and managed to beat it in 4 hrs instead of 11 !!! which is rly cool imo, i think i got a max of like 50 deaths or less for the full run ??? i was just playing regularly but usin the prism blade for the cool blood effects, not in speedrun mode for the counter, and i managed 2 drag my friend into hyperfixation hell with me :} but also i have some thoughts and opinions im not rly sure how to compile in a meaningful way, so here’s the like. pure brain-down-on-blog post version under the cut. if this gets auto-tagged into the real actual tag for this game im very sorry for my hubris im just. thinking emoji

so id like to start this with the final boss makes me SO sad :( like yeah she doesnt have much dialogue but idk she just makes me so sad. she’s so desperate and she Knows shes going to lose and im just like. no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re so cool!!!!!!! Please Be My Friend We Can Work Together. I Know A Guy :c like usually final bosses are like weirdly emotional for me but she was just SO COOL and realizing like WAIT THIS BOSS OPERATES UNDER THE SAME RULES I DO was just like WOW even if as i kept dying (and i think i spent like... 3 hrs on the final boss alone lmao the first time, i killed her on my third attempt this run which was very cool of me) i finally realized that she IS pretty repetitive and got all her patterns n variables down super easy, but like, fighting another null who Should for all intents and purposes be just as absurd and powerful as i am, and eventually being able to down her effortlessly, and then the withdrawal affects of the chronos kicking in as well, and its just like. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

dont even get me STARTED on that ‘to be continued’ like yeah there’s a dlc comin but the game mentions repeatedly that its just the first act which has me like OKAY. SPECULATION TIME (what am i speculating on? literally no idea im not even rly at the speculation phase im still in the WOW COOL VIDEO GAME phase) 

and i rly like the dragon/fifteen but the first time i saw him i was just like. who’s this f*llmetal alchemist looking bitch ??? what’s he doin here?? go HOME and controlling him is AWFUL i hate the dragon tape so MUCH >:C but also he’s like. cool. i want to know more about him n his plot 2 take down Juncture n the government n whatever. 

but also i was listen 2 Full Confession bc it’s just. what the heart wants rn. i need to be sad and caffeinated in order to get into the Writing Zone rn and then i was THINKIN like my friend mentioned while we were playing the dragon tape that the song that plays is very similar to Full Confession (which i had sent him earlier while i was losing my mind over the final boss) and then i was like. Hm. these are very similar but have such wildly different moods -- Breath of the Serpent is much more like. ‘you’re going to be afraid of me’ while Full Confession is like ‘i’m afraid of you’ and i think that the different Vibes from these two soundtrack bits about important Null characters is just like. WOW and i wonder how a version of it that was purely Zero’s might be. would it be more triumphant? more flat? what desperation or emptiness is in there that could be drawn out by this melody??? i dont KNOW and i can’t write music unfortunately but im just like AAAAAAAAAA

i also rly wanna know what snow has going on ??? like. shes clearly important. she is a vital npc. but Why. she didnt even rly do anything except Show Up???

fuck V. all my homies hate V. the motorcycle fight was a lot of fun tho i rly liked that section even if my therapist was mad at me afterwards

also i think elizabeth/the little girl is rly cute and the fact zero was just like. ‘hm. well guess i have a daughter now’ so fast w/ her (at least, with the dialogue trees me n my pal kept going down) and im just. So Hoping we can rescue her in the dlc :( i miss her so much and im so like. worried abt that like pls give me back my daughter you dumbasses i cant even read ur dialogue without my brain being like ‘yeah these r just squiggly lines, boss. gl’ 

i also want to believe that the masked men arent real (bc idk, it’s just easier for me to process that they’re the result of chronos withdrawal) but the problem w/ that is like. they definitely kidnapped elizabeth, and i want so desperately to believe that elizabeth IS real n that zero genuinely wants to protect her (and by extension, the part of himself that is still human) 

ALSO THE PSYCHIATRIST i was just like. Okay. I Must Get A Good Grade In Therapy. n kept being nice n cooperative and helpful to this clown ass and then THAT ENDING ??? like i didnt even get the Bad Therapist Ending i was just like. fucka you! attacka you with a rock! (i do however want to try the therapist boss it sounds like a lot of fun) but i just. i hate him! he sucks! find a better therapist zero u rly need one im sorry for ur problems disorder :( like hes clearly a guy who just works for the government n wants 2 keep a leash on our man 

n the contradictions, hes like. yeah ur killing everyone related to chronos so it can no longer be produced ♥ but dw ur special we totally wont just withhold chronos from you as soon as u finish ur tasks dw about it ♥ and its like. Hm. I Dont Think Thats Right !!!! 

also i wanna learn more about what Juncture has going on??? what are they like. Doing besides poisoning water n making lighters ?????? it’s clearly a lot 

also the art for this game is just so GOOD,,, like. i didnt rly notice a lot of the backgrounds my first playthrough bc i was just losing my mind the whole time trying to solve each puzzle but the second playthrough im just like. AAAAA. and the soundtrack? effervescent. groundbreaking. perfect. So Good 

and the GAMEPLAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my GOD i was SO vibing with it, the difficulty curve was kinda extreme imo but as soon as i started like. Getting It? and started looking at each room less like combat/fighting and more like a puzzle that needed to be solved it made it so much easier 2 get into the headphase of ‘okay how do i clear this’ and it was just like. YOOOOOOOO

and zero is just a lot of fun 2 play as. legitimately everything about him is just so ridiculous. his dialogue options? ridiculous. his design? absurd. the implications that hes like. 22 and just having the worst 10 days of his life? mood, buddy. this guy likes samurai movies and card games and mushroom pizza and has worn the same outfit every single day for who knows how long and hes also a war veteran, an emotionless serial killer and a drug addict. and hes 22 and 5′10. literally NOTHING about those traits make sense together but here he is, just Vibing. 

i love him so much. im going to make a self insert oc that’s just giving him a friend who knows how to cook n is just like ‘oh wow, that’s rough buddy’ when hes like ‘i only feel alive when i kill people’ and conveniently knows how 2 get bloodstains out of things bc i think he needs that kind of person in his life since his like. therapist is conspiring against him n he keeps having 2 kill his friends 

also, unfortunately, i want to get every achievement, which i feel like is going to become hld....2!! where i get all but 1 of them and am stuck at 96% for 2+ years >:T

[bts000things]

Jungkook Imagine #1 ~🦋

   Everything was beautiful. You were snuggled up in your soft pink bed, your fluffed pastel blue and yellow blanket wrapped around you like a cloak. Your boyfriends song “Begin” floating through the air as back ground noise while you worked on one of your essays for class that was due in a few days. You felt at peace in your quant little room. 

  Then you saw the youtube notification pop up on your screen. 

From BigHit : BTS Jungkook And BlackPink Lisa Performe Duet

   “Huh?...” You stared at the screen in confusion. Jungkook, your lover of 3 years, who told you everything, all the way down to when he last took a poop, in which you have always reminded him you didnt need to know about, didnt mention to you once that we was doing a duet, let alone with lisa, a very populare girl form a very popular girl group. You were a bit confused..and a bit hurt that he kept it from you.

   Not that it bothered you all that much...until you licked on the video. 

   The name of the song was “All Of Me” by John Legend. 

    “So it was just a cover...but still..” you mumbled as the video began. It was a dance cover as well, their voices filling the air as they began moving and swaying in synce. Their steps perfectly matched, perfectly timed as if they have done this a hundred times. You started remebering the nights Jungkook would tell you he had to leave early for a dance practice. You just assumed it was with his group members... it didnt even cross your mind that it was actually with her. 

    The longer you watched, the tighter your chest became. With each dance number, they would get closer. There bodys basically crashing and rolling into each other like two waves, effortlessly falling into place...as if they were meant to be this close..as if they were meant to be THE couple instead of you and him. And the longer you gazed at the diosplay of intimacy on your screen, the more your stomach would churn and sink. But despite every last nerve in your body screaming at you to turn away from the site burning your eyes, or were those tears...you kept on watching, wanting to finish the video in which you wish you never saw. 

   You shut the computer in your lap the moment the video count hit 0:00 and set the electronic aside. Did you save your essay? you didnt care..not about some stupid words that will probably get a 98% regardless. The class was simple. But what was difficult right now was trying to comprehend what you just saw. Images of the two idols touching and holding each other to song meant for lovers. but they werent lovers...or were they? Was Jungkook secretly seeing the female idol behind your back?

    “ Oh come on...as if he could hide ANYTHING with out spilling his guts to you a second after...” So you told yourself, but then again, he did manage to hide this sudden duet.

    You were taken from your thoughts again as your phone buzzed, signaling an incoming call. Your eyes glanced, but froze, seeing the familiar bunny emoji with two flexing arm emojis decorating the caller id screen. Your shaky hands reached down and tapped the accept button, instantly hearing the rough yet childish voice of your lover blare threw the speaker.

     “ y/n! did you see it!! The video of my duet with blackpink lisa, wasnt it great?! Were you surprised by how good i performed?!~” the overly excited maknae rambled, somwhat putting you at ease. At least he wasnt intentionally trying to hide anything is what you thought.

     “yeah kookie..it was great!” your voice barely matching the males enthusiams. And jungkook didnt fail to miss the different tone.

     “You okay jagi?...are you not feeling well?”

     “Whats? No silly! Im as peachy as a...peach!” you awkwardly said, giving a small laugh. jungkook just hummed in respones.

      “Hmm...well, okay. Did you like the video though? be honest.” he asked a bit seriously, wanting a true feedback statment from his lover. But you just felt sourness pool in the back of your throat even thinking of saying that you enjoyed watching another woman rub up against him as lisa just did. But this was your boyfriend who loved you and made sure you knew everyday..But also wanted you to be honest and real with him..so thats what you were going to be.

       “ I mean..it was amazing! You did the foot work wonderfuly and your voice was beautiful! ..But did you..have to do it with..lisa? If so..how come you didnt tell me before?” your voice timid and a bit suspicious. You trusted your boyfriend. but it just didnt settle well with you. You guys told each other everything...everything.

       “Oh, well it was supposed to be a surprise..but from what it sounds like, you didnt really enjoy the surprise part...” jungkook said a bit passively, “ And whats wrong with doing a duet with lisa? Do you not like her voice or something?...I think she did pretty well~”. And for some reason, those last few words make your throat tighten. He enjoyed dancing with her, singing to the same tune?...Did he also prefer her company?

     “ No, she wasnt bad or anything, its just..”

     “Just what jagi...tell me.”

      “...Its just...why did it have to be with another female?” you mumble softly, but jungkook heard every word. You felt your heart rate quicken as the deafening silence englufed the call. 

     This was it. Jungkook was upset with you. you knew you shouldnt have opend your mouth. Should have kept it in and moved on. But no, you haaad to be fucking honest. And now you are going to haaave to be single.

     After a minute of quietness, the males voice starts to giggle and go into a full on laugh. You were taken aback by the sudden laughter..and a bit irritated. Was he mocking you or something?

      “Jagi, you are too cute sometimes..if you were going to be jealous, maybe i should have posted it sooner~” He teased and you went into full on pout mode. How could he find your insecurity amusing? The idiot!

      “Hmpf! Sorry for wanting to be the only women to have your body up against yours...maybe i should go do a cover of despacito with your frined from GOT7..whats was his name again, Yugyeom?? Im sure i still have his nuber somewhere in my phone..” you stated a bit aggresivly and the maknae’s voice hitches before getting serious.

       “Dont you dare. You’re mine...m sorry for teasing." jungkook claimed, and then his voice dropped to a soft plead, “Please dont go to him..im positive he could steal you and i rather not fight my friend to the death over the love of my life...” he mused and you felt your cheeks burn a soft pink. You always became weak for him..

        “F-fine..but you better buy me lunch as an apologie...only then will i forgive you..pabo.”

         “Oh, then thats works perfectly..” was all you heard before he hung up. You blink din confusion at the phone before you heard a knock rattle the front door of your apartment. You walked over, reaching for the soft beige collored door’s silver handle and gripping it, oppening slightly before feeling your heart burst at the sight of jungkook holding a bag of take out in his right hand, a bouqe of f/c roses in his left, a shit eating grin plastering his face. He was dressed in a black sweatshirt and white skinny jeans, a pair of converse decorating his feet. He was handsome in your eyes, but when was he never?

         “Surprise! did you miss me-” was all he got out before you flung yourself at the cheesy boy, planting your plump lips against his, feeling the softness engulf you as you clung to him, your arms around his neck, pulling him down slightly to you so you didnt have to strain your self too much. The male kissed you back with tenderness, loving how you helped him feel secure from just this small show of affection. 

        After a few seconds, you both break the kiss, but you stay close and jungkook rest his forhead to yours. Dark eyes staring into e/c orbs, capturing his full attention. “Im still upset..but you are frogiven...silly” you mumbled, a smile tugging at your cheeks and jungkook grinned more, giving you a soft peck before leaning away, walking past you into your apartmet, you following right behind him. 

        “Thats okay, because after tonight, im positive you wont want me to leave..” he gave oyu a sly wink and you just chuckled, a soft blush rising on your cheeks. 

         “I need to have a talk with your hyungs about what they are teaching you~” you retorted and just give the male a soft smile, every doubt from early washing away instantly. And you enjoyed the rest of your night. Now not only with you snuggled in your bed, fluffy blanket encircling you, but your boyfriend, who you wouldnt trade for the world, was right next to you, enjoying his video game while you started typing your essay again, the scent of takeout filling the air, and his song “Begin” softly echoing in the background, giving you both a sense of peace~

~🦋

[echoes-of-realities]

Hi! I read your rant on why glee was so poorly done (I agree completely). I was wondering if you could explain your connection with the characters (specifically Brittany and Santana)? Why do you care so much about characters from a show you don’t really like or agree with? Or why do you continue to write using them? Just curious!

So first, I debated for a long time about this, but eventually decided to just give the really personal and really long answer partially because this is a situation that has popped up again and partially because being a fic writer is very personal, so my answer is going to be really personal anyways. You can’t spend most of your time writing inside the mind of someone else without leaving a bit of yourself behind.

Second, I’m not explaining this situation to get sympathy or anything. It’s just what I’ve been through and what I’m going through again, but the difference is that this time around I’m in a much better place than I was last time. I’m more comfortable with myself and more settled, I’m not letting myself go into a depressive spiral like last year, and I have much healthier coping methods this time around.

And third, this is kinda a contemplation on my mental health now, so I’m mostly going ahead and posting to remind myself of how far I’ve come and since this is my personal blog and I Can lol

So! More below the cut. If the cut doesn’t work on mobile, as it is wont to do, I’m so sorry, Tumblr is barely functional at the best of times so just scroll really fast lmao.

So I got into Glee right in the middle of a really rough time in my life. Late last November we found out that my little sister—who’s still in high school—had an aggressive tumour in her knee, and none of the doctor’s could figure out exactly what it was. She had a biopsy in December though we didn’t get the results until February since they didn’t know what it was, but it showed it there was like a 0.01% of it being cancerous. When it had been MRI’d in October it was the size of a loonie and aggressively growing, but when they removed it the following March it had shrunk to like the size of a pea. They sent that off for testing but there wasn’t enough of a sample to figure it out but they think it might have been a burned out cancerous tumour. And so they removed it and scraped the bone around it, threw some cement in my sister’s knee, and called it a day. Flash forward to two weeks ago, my sister had a cheek up because it’d been a year since the found out about it, and instead of getting the news that everything was fine we instead found out that whatever the fuck it is—because they still don’t know—is back and is now growing above the cement and in an entirely different spot than the first tumour. So now we’re back to the waiting game to figure out what the fuck is going on in my sister’s knee, since the radiologists are still puzzling over her new MRI from this December.

So long story short, my sister is still a certified medical weirdo and I spent the last bit of November 2017 until about February thinking my 16 year-old sister had bone cancer. Needless to say, I was in a really bad place last year and my concentration was shot all to hell. (If you’ve been following me for a while you might remember me explaining why I don’t read or write Hard Angst? This was the depressive spiral I was talking about. This was what I was dealing with and how I discovered that Angsty fic makes my mental health so much worse.)

So that’s what I was dealing with when I got into Glee read: only Brittana lol and flash back a little bit more and I’ll spare you the details of my Epiphany Moment, but I came out as gay to myself, and then came out to my mom in the end of October, so that was still New and Fresh for me. I wanna say I probably started watching Glee again, read: only Brittana scenes lol probably a week after I found out about my sister’s tumour? It was after that but before my finals that semester started, and I literally couldn’t focus or concentrate on anything—because aside from dealing with that, I also lived 1.5 hours away from my family, so my auntie stayed with my sister and my mom so they could all be there for each other, and just because of circumstance I was alone with my thoughts most of the time.

Then I was looking for something to listen to while studying or working on end of term assignments or whatever and I stumbled upon s5’s Valerie. And okay so I’ve Known about Glee since it came out. I watched the pilot but never really got into it, my friend lent me her box set of s1 and I got as far as Terri admitting to her fake pregnancy and went “yep too far for me”, I remember when Cory died because I’m Canadian and he was our Canadian sweetheart, I even remember when Brittana got married because it was all over tumblr and I was at that stage where “I’m invested in gay successes and characters because my cousin is gay and I support gay people and for No Other Reason” lmao. So like, I Knew about Glee, and I Knew about how, uh, let’s say Particular the fandom was over the years. So I watched s5′s Valerie and thought “hey these characters are really cute together and from my Vague Memories I’m pretty sure they’re the show’s lesbian couple?” And I looked it up, saw they were Childhood Friends (that one (1) canon line be damned) to Lovers, which is probably the trope I’m Weakest for lol, and basically just fell down the rabbit hole.

At the beginning of me getting into Glee, it was basically because I had just come out about a month and a bit prior, and I was going through probably the darkest time in my life, and these two characters were about the only thing that was distracting me from my sister’s tumour so I clung to them. I had stopped writing (omg sorry to anyone who followed me from the b99 childhood neighbours au, I think about it being unfinished Constantly and it Haunts me to this day) from about the time we found out about it in November to when the biopsy results came back in the first week of February and we found out that the chances of it being cancerous were like 0.01%. In that time I had been watching Glee again, read: Brittana scenes only lmao and fell in love with the characters themselves beyond “they were distracting me from hard shit,” and so the day we found out the tumour wasn’t cancerous was the day I sat down and found I could finally write again, and I realized I actually had a story in my head, which resulted in you were the choice I made before I knew what the other choices were. So I wrote that and posted it in February this year and got an overwhelmingly positive response to it, past anything I had ever imagined considering the show had ended like 3 years ago lol. 

So I guess what I’m trying to say with all of this rambling is that the characters came into my life at the exact right time in the exact right way. Santana’s coming out storyline was not the exact same as mine, but I was also pretending to be somebody I wasn’t in high school, I understand how terrifying it is to live in a Small Town and worry about someone finding out, my grandma died earlier in 2017 and responded poorly to my cousin coming out years before, so the s6 scenes were so bittersweet to watch. And I don’t know exactly why I fell in love with Brittany, but her own storyline in s2 when she was learning to stand up for herself is something I Know, her incredible patience and understanding and snark is what I aspire to, and the fact that people are Constantly underestimating her and she’s struggled with being seen as good enough is so familiar. And their relationship is so strong and tender despite the continued thrashings it took and I admire that so much—even if most of my admiration comes from fic depictions and not canon (s6 aside) lmao.

So yeah, as cheesy as it sounds, even though I think Glee did some good but overall handled their responsibility to their narrative and their audience Horribly, Brittana as characters and as a relationship were the only thing distracting me from obsessing and panicking and spiralling over my sister’s tumour, their storylines helped me understand my own coming out process a little better, and, probably the biggest thing for me, was that they were what got me back into writing again. So I’m always going to love them so much because they’re complex and real (even if most of that comes from fanon interpretations), but the reason they mean so much to me is because I fell in love with them when everyone else in my life was shitty and completely out of my control.

[btsismy6thkink]

BTS REACTIONS: They find a negative pregnancy test

This was not meant to be my 2k post but seeing as this is longer i thought it fit nicely as a thank you to all you lovely humans for reading what i write <3 I love you and you are all much appreciated in my heart.

Requested: Yes <3

Disclaimer: I don’t believe so, however i may have gotten too enthusiastic with Yoongi

Jin:

He had come home from practice earlier than usual and you hadn't heard him come into the apartment. He walked to the bathroom, hearing the water from the shower running he didn't deem it necessary to yell he was home so he just walked in letting out a loud enough sigh for you to know he was in there. “oh you’re back? can you get me a towel please sir” you laughed at your own remark, finding it the funniest you’ve ever been for a moment, completely forgetting that you had placed the test on the towel. He went to pick up the towel but met the pregnancy test first, filling with worry, he could see it was negative and it wasn't like he didn't want a child with you and that he wasn't ready to be a father but he felt guilt rush over him, for you having had to be scared of being pregnant in the first place. He wasn't turned from his thoughts before a pair of slightly wet arms wrapped around his waist into a back hug(his favourite hugs from you). “The condom broke and i wanted to make sure before i said anything, don't worry about it Jinnie”, he took a deep breath before turning around to face the naked you, however his eyes only meeting your comforting ones, instantly calming him further removing his guilt and replacing it with pure adoration for your ability to have been able to stay calm through your pregnancy scare.

Yoongi:

Your boyfriend had been lying sick in bed from a cold, you only walked in and out of the room with food and water and a comforting cuddle here and there, but tried to give him space to fully rest up. Around 2 in the morning he felt a little better, so he decided this was the time he could go to the bathroom without having you following him to make sure he was okay, honestly he was just blaming himself for you having to be around all day and he wanted to let you get some sleep for the first time in a while, you had babysat him for the past 5 days and the fact you hadn't slept a lot killed him. He stepped into the darkness of the bathroom about to pull down his pyjamas pants to pee, when he noticed something white on the floor next to the toilet. He bend down carefully, the carefulness being incase you would be woken up by any sudden movement, to pick it up. He turned on the light after having picked the white thing of the floor, firstly being shocked at the brightness but once his tired eyes adjusted he noticed the negative sign on what was a pregnancy test. In this moment he forgot his urge to pee, which he honest didn't have in the first place but now that he was awake he thought he might as well try, instead he set off to go into the bedroom again. He sat down on your side of the bed, gently shaking you awake, a part of him not wanting to do so, but the other part feeling guilty for you having to keep it from him. Once you acknowledged his presence you raised your eyebrows to let him know you were aware of his butt being placed on the wrong side of the bed. “I didn't mean to wake you, or i did but why didn't you tell me about the pregnancy scare?” he looked almost at the brink of tears saying the words, and honestly at this point you didn't know how to respond, you had rehearsed it while he was out cold, but now that he was actually questioning you it had you emptied for words entirely until you just took a hold of both his hands and pulled him down on top of you, him clearly holding most of him own weight so he wouldn't crush you. He giggled a little at your cute action, “tell me if it happens again please?” you looked at him for a few seconds before closing your eyes, “lets just sleep Min Yoongles”.

J-Hope:

You hadn't even heard Hoseok step inside the room, but when you did he wasn't smiling, his face was burning a bright red and he was holding the pregnancy test you had taken earlier that day. “WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE HAVING A PREGNANCY SCARE?” he yelled looking directly at you with a look you had never seen before, you were taken aback by his sudden yelling but more than that you were taken a back at how gentle he usually was and that a simple pregnancy test could change him this drastically, but screaming back at him wouldn't do anything but frustrate him further, even if it was the thing you wanted to do the most, you had to bite you tongue and speak to him as softly as possible if you wanted any chance for him to calm down. “I’m sorry Hoseok-ie, but i didn't want to worry you, it’s negative so it shouldn't matter, if it had been positive then of course i would've told you”, he seemed to relax at your words taking a deep breath before putting the test down flashing his infamous smile, “alright i guess thats fine, i’m sorry i yelled.” The weirdest change in mood but frankly you didn't mind it as angry Hoseok scared you more than you would care to admit.

Namjoon:

You had just gotten home from a day of being yelled at by costumers and your boss almost firing you, actually you had been through a lot at work and for some reason going home to your boyfriend helped your mood to rise higher and give you a reason to not quit your job when it got rough and almost impossible to do. You hadn't thought once about the negative pregnancy test on the bathroom sink until you opened the front door and your eyes met Namjoon waiting for you holding the pregnancy test in his hand, looking at the test rather than looking at you. “Why am i sad this isn't positive y/n?” you sighed before just hugging him, you didn't know why he was sad he had never once said he wanted to be a father, which was the only reason you had kept quiet this entire time, “i don’t know, but if you want a baby we can talk about it you know? i’m not totally against it, i’m just frightened i wont be a good mom or even a decent mom.” He pulled slightly out of your hug keeping the distance between you barely there cupping your two cheeks with his big hands. “You would be the most perfect and amazing and caring and beautiful mother, and i would be there to help you, i just want a kid to be honest and i didn't realise how much until i saw the negative pregnancy test.” He kissed you carefully before it taking a turn for the most aggressive kind, which you honest to god loved more than the sweet ones.

Jimin:

Jimin had left to use the bathroom 20 minutes ago and at this point you had grown a little worried as this wasn't normal bathroom behaviour for Jimin, usually he would be in and out as quickly as he could. It confused you why he would not have come back to bed yet especially as you were waiting to finally have some alone time with your way too handsome boyfriend, resulting in you having to get back out of bed after just having lied down and gotten all kinds of comfortable to walk to the bathroom for a check up. Upon opening the door your eyes met the back of Jimin looking down at something, “Baby come to bed, yes?” you reached out to put your hand on his shoulder but before you could actually touch him he turned himself around looking directly at you, “I will, just why was there a pregnancy test in the trash?”. You smiled slightly just to indicate you weren't sad or angry that he snooped around as he sometimes worried about things like that just making you love the man even more, “I was worried i was pregnant, seeing as the condom broke but we are good.” He looked at you possibly even more worried than before, “Okay, just next time please tell me if you have a scare because i don't like you being worried alone at least let me be worried with you?”.

Taehyung:

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST?!” Taehyung stormed towards you from the bathroom into the living room where you had been seated watching your favourite movie for the 4th time today. “It’s not a big deal Tae? i wanted to make sure okay?” you sighed before trying to turn your full attention back to the movie, but failed the attempt as your boyfriend stepped in front of the tv. “WHY IS IT NOT A BIG DEAL? DON’T YOU WANT KIDS WITH ME? DO YOU THINK I WILL BE A BAD FATHER?” His face was red at this point but it was easy to spot his eyes being teary and looking for validation, so you took a deep breath before trying to calm him down. “Kim Taehyung, you will be a great father amazing even, however i was scared and i needed to find out so i didn't worry you too much or make you excited.” You sighed before moving on with your little speech, “I do want kids with you, but we are still young and if it happens then it happens but i want to enjoy our relationship right now please?” Now it was your turn to look for validation in his eyes and you got it, he blinked away the tears before getting down onto his knees in front of you taking your hands into his own, “okay just tell me please, the next time?”.

Jungkook:

You had asked your boyfriend to help clean the bathroom as you were sick and there wasn't anything worse than at the off chance of you having to throw up to do it into a dirty toilet, he reluctantly agreed to do it, however he exited the bathroom looking over taken with panic staring at you with a pregnancy test in his hand you had thrown out just hours ago. You sighed before sitting up in bed, patting the bed for him to sit down but he seemed frozen in place. “Baby, it’s negative? why do you seem so panicked by it?”, he looked down at it as your words went through his head before looking over at you finally moving towards you. “I thought 1 line meant one baby, i’m not ready to care for a baby y/n i’m still a baby?” he was clearly still doubting if you spoke the truth but when you reached your hand out for him to take, he took it with no hesitation. “No its the plus sign that means one baby, kookie the condom broke and with me being nauseous i just wanted to make sure it was that.” He smiled softly this time, every inch of panic had left his body and filled with reassurance. “Okay, just next time tell me, i can handle it.” You kissed his hand before lying back down into the bed, knowing full well your boyfriend couldn't handle it, but his reassurance was still nice to have.

[professor-hiddles]

Unspoken [bucky barnes]

pairing: bucky x reader (modern au??? but bucky still has the arm)

words: 2.6k 

warnings: implied smut, some violence? also maybe just a little slut shaming (not from any of our faves i promise) uhhh some angst & swearing too

a/n: this might be kinda sucky but whatevs i just wanted to post something lol. also theres a vine reference in there for some comic relief :) enjoyyyyyyy

The two of you knew what you were getting into. It was a mutually beneficial relationship, but purely sexual. Something to release the tension. There were five rules you had set in place, rules that kept both of you safe. 

Rule 1

No physical contact outside of your bedroom sessions. Since you shared a friend group, it was common to be seen out in public together, but this was your own rule. No touching. You could talk, make jokes, and even flirt, but no skin to skin contact.

Rule 2

Don’t stay away from potential relationships at the expense of the other. If an opportunity for a relationship presented itself, don’t stay away to protect feelings, and don’t try to keep the other person away from someone with potential.  

Rule 3

Keep emotions or pillow talk to a minimum. You’re not building an intimate relationship, but rather just having fun and enjoying one another physically. Only engage in emotional conversations if absolutely necessary. This was a rule broken rather often, as the both of you were usually under intense stress. 

Rule 4

No dates. No meeting for coffee, no going out to dinner. If you were gonna hang out, it would be with your friends. 

***

Something changed around two months into your agreement. Bucky was getting more sensual with you, being incredibly gentle and making sure that you were completely comfortable before he did anything. This was unusual, as he was typically a bit rough and fast. It was certainly different, but you weren’t complaining. 

“Buck, is there a reason as to why you’re being so gentle with me?” you asked, gently tugging on his hair. His mouth left your body for a moment, eyes meeting yours. 

“No reason, why? Are you uncomfortable?” he asked, his metal hand drawing circles on your thigh. He got back to work, pleasure coming over you in waves.

“No—not at all. Just wondering,” you said before arching your back off the mattress. Damn, he was talented with his mouth. 

He hummed in response, the vibration going through your whole body. His hands held your hips, keeping your body firmly planted on the bed. Your heart was racing, the euphoria coursing through you. 

Bucky crawled up next to you, laying on his back. You rolled onto your stomach to face him. Your hands met his hair, twirling it around your finger. 

“I think we should stop this, Buck,” you whispered, avoiding eye contact. His head turned toward yours, his smile dropping. 

“Why? I thought we were having fun, Y/N,” he said, his hand grabbing the one that was intertwined in his hair. 

“We are—were, but I met someone.” 

Rule 2. 

He could feel his heart break a little. All he could think of was someone else touching you in the ways that he did. 

“Oh. Do I know him?” he asked, his voice as low as yours. 

You nodded, “Brock Rumlow, I think he goes to your gym.” 

Fucking Brock, Bucky thought, Of course he would rob me of the one good thing in my life.

Bucky didn’t respond, instead just closing his eyes. You knew he heard you, and you knew he was hurt. You didn’t push the topic, so you let sleep wash over you.

You woke up to an empty bed, the sheets next to you were cold. A frown formed on your face, but you knew what this meant. 

You knocked your head back onto your pillow, letting a groan escape. A part of you felt empty, but a part of you felt enlightened, free to explore what other men have to offer. 

Bucky returned to his apartment, dreading the loneliness that was bound to ensue. He had fallen for you, hard. He hated the idea of someone else holding your heart, someone else taking part in your life. 

He knew he wasn’t supposed to fall for you, but love works in mysterious ways. He loved your laugh, how you got a bit embarrassed when it was too loud. He loved the way you said his name. He loved the way you joke with each other, more sarcasm than he’d ever experienced. He liked that you weren’t afraid of him, metal arm and all. That usually drives people off, but not you. He loved that you bear your feelings to him, your vulnerabilities. 

He longed to hold your hand. He wanted nothing more than to kiss your cheek and tell you how beautiful you are. Truly stunning. He longed to kiss you in front of your friends, call you his once and for all. He longed to be the one you come to after a long day, just for comfort. 

He felt miserable. The one thing that actually meant something to him had been taken. He knew this day would come. He just never pictured it would be so soon. 

He should have told you how he felt. He still should. 

Bucky pulled himself together, put on a happy face and made his way to the gym. He walked in, eyes scanning the area for Brock. He hoped that he wasn’t there, but nothing ever goes the way you want it to. He decided it might be good to talk to him at least.

His eyes landed on the man in question. Bucky took a deep breath and walked over to the weights he was using. 

“Need a spot, Brock?” he asked, hoping that he would say yes. Brock looked at him, realizing who was asking. 

A cocky smile grew on Brock’s face, “Hey, man. If you don’t mind, that’d be great.”

Bucky forced a smile on his face, he stepped behind the bench press. Half of him wanted to drop the barbell on the man, but the other half wanted to grill him about you. He decided on the latter.

“So, uh, you and Y/N, huh? How long has that been going on?” Bucky said, trying to casually slip questions into the light conversation. 

A smug look crossed his face, “Around two weeks or so, she’s a cool girl. Surprised one of you didn’t pick her up already.”

You and me both, buddy, Bucky thought, gritting his teeth. “Yeah, she’s the best. Treat her good, man.”

A short laugh left Brock’s mouth. “To be honest with you, I think this’ll be more of a hit it and quit it kind of thing, you know? She’s stupid hot, but not really girlfriend material. Seems like a bit of a whore. I heard she fucks every dude in your friend group.” 

Bucky scoffed. It was taking everything he had in him not to punch the man’s teeth in. 

“Who fed you that bullshit lie? You’re lucky she even considered you, dipshit,” Bucky growled. He couldn’t just stand idly by anymore, he took the bar out of the man’s hands and pulled him up by the collar of his shirt, “If you even think about hurting her, I’ll hunt you down and fucking kill you.”

Brock looked genuinely scared for a moment, before a smile appeared on his face. “My god, you’re in love with the whore! Let me guess, you’re fucking her too?” 

“Alright, thats it. You asked for it, you piece of shit!” Bucky yelled, before charging at Brock. Several punches were thrown before Bucky felt someone pulling him off of the man. 

Steve had a strong grip on the man, guiding him toward the exit. “Dude, what the hell? I know he’s a douche, but you can’t lunge at him in the middle of the gym! What was it even about?” 

Bucky’s hand curled into a fist, “He was calling Y/N a whore, and saying he was only with her for sex. I just couldn’t help myself. I hate when assholes like him get such wonderful women and then drop them like they’re nothing. She deserves someone better than that, Steve. She deserves someone who’ll listen to her, and keep her happy, and take care of her in all the best ways.”

A small smile worked its way onto Steve’s face, “Someone like you?”

Bucky nodded his head, “Yes! Wait—how did you know I meant me?” he looked at the man, clearly puzzled. You two were careful to hide your relationship, you were sure none of your friends knew.

“Dude, you think no one notices how you stare at her? You get this little sparkle in your eyes every time you talk to her, its almost sickening how cute it is,” Steve said, patting his friend on the shoulder. 

“She doesn’t feel the same, anyway, so what does it matter? I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with her, Steve.” Bucky said, his eyes glued to the pavement. 

Steve sighed, “What do you mean ‘you weren’t supposed to fall in love with her,’? Why not?”

Bucky’s breath hitched in his throat, “Uh, never mind. No reason.” 

Steve didn’t look convinced, but he let the topic go. “You might not have noticed, Buck, but she definitely does. When you aren’t there, all she does is talk about you.”

His eyes flicked up to meet Steve’s, his cheeks flushed. Bucky could barely get out a coherent sentence. 

“No, I—that can't be,” he mumbled, but all evidence of doubt was erased when he saw the look on Steve’s face, “Really? But she’s so beautiful and kind and downright great; and I’m me.” 

Steve nodded, “Yeah man, but she wont like you for long if you don’t explain your side of what just happened in there. For all we know, Rumlow could be telling her that you attacked him for no reason.” 

Bucky’s eyes went wide for a moment, before running a hand through his hair. He let out a shaky breath before pulling out his phone. 

“Shit, ok, I’m gonna ask her to meet me at the bar later. Hopefully I can lay everything out and we’ll be on the same page, but if not, be prepared to nurse my broken heart.”

Steve gave a short nod before clapping him on the back, “Good luck, Buck. You’ll do great, I know it.”

After a shower and a quick bite to eat, Bucky walked down the sidewalk, trying to figure out what he would say to you. Would he apologize for putting Brock in his place? Hell no. Would he apologize for letting it get that out of hand? Possibly. Would he tell you how he felt and accept your answer, good or bad? Absolutely. 

He took a seat at the bar, ordering a whiskey, neat. His eyes darted around the bar, his nerves making him a bit jumpy. The door to the establishment opened once more with the ring of a bell, your senses taking in the familiar sights and sound that the bar has to offer. 

You heard shot glasses hit the bar counter; the sharp sound of a cue ball being hit. Your gaze almost immediately caught the glimmer of the metal arm, a smile crawling up your face. Your heels clicked on the floor below you, the sound catching Bucky’s attention. 

He stood up, arms enveloping you in a hug. Rule 1, you remembered, but maybe I can let it slide just this once. Your arms slid around his waist, returning the embrace. Bucky pulled away first, his hands resting on your shoulders. 

“Y/N, sit, please,” he said, pulling the bar chair out for you. You took the seat, still wondering what you were doing here. “I know you said you want to end things because you found someone, and I respect that decision, but please, just hear me out for a moment.”

You sighed, but stayed silent, signaling him to go on. 

“Okay, this might come out the wrong way, but please understand that I mean absolutely no disrespect to you,” your eyes widened slightly, but still you let him continue. “Brock isn’t the guy for you, you should cut things off with him.” 

A short, dry laugh left your lips, “Why? Who told you that this was your decision to make?” 

Hurt flashed across his eyes, but he stayed calm. “Y/N, he called you a whore. He also said that he’s only going out with you to get in your pants. He doesn’t want the real you, he only wants the idea of you. I know its not my decision to make,  but I really think that this is whats best for you.” 

“No, you’re lying. How do you know that? Last I checked you weren’t all buddy buddy with him,” you said, shaking your head. “How do you know whats good for me?”

He ran a hand through his hair, “Thats my opinion, Y/N. I’m sorry if it’s not what you want to hear, but it needed to be said. If I can save you from this guy, then best believe I’ll put everything on the line to do so.”

“Please, you think I need saving? I’m perfectly capable of handling this on my own, thank you very much,” you said, close to tears.

“I know you can, but I’m worried that your feelings might blind you from whats actually going on!” he yelled, but you stormed out. Bucky was quick to follow, lightly gripping your arm. 

You spun around to face him, anger clear on your face, “Why? Why do you care so damn much?”

Both of your hearts picked up, nearly beating out of your chests. Bucky’s eyes looked glassy, he didn’t mean to upset you. All he wanted was to warn you, and tell you how he felt. 

“You wanna know why? Because I‘m fucking in love with you, Y/N! I know I wasn’t supposed to, but you made it damn hard to resist. When you told me about Brock, my heart nearly cracked in two. I didn’t even want to think about him having what I hold dearest to my heart. I’m in love with you for you, not your body, or the idea of you. I love that you listen to me, and confide your feelings in me. I love how much you care for those around you, and the kindness that’s so clearly within your heart. I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love, and the smile that makes my heart jump. I didn’t want to fall in love with you, but I’ll be damned if I tell you I regret it, because I absolutely don’t,” his chest was heaving now, and you couldn’t tell if the wetness on his face was the pouring rain around you or tears.

You stared at him, the weight of his words weighing on your shoulders. You wanted to cry, punch him and kiss him all in the same moment. 

He looked like he was going to speak up again, but you cut him off by pressing your lips to his. It wasn’t at all rushed like your past ones, but more passionate and loving. His arms were protectively wrapped around you, your bodies pressed close. 

You pulled away, resting your forehead on his, “Buck, we broke rule five.”

A smile was on his face, “I think we broke all of the rules, but fuck ‘em, especially rule five.”

Rule five wasn’t a rule you talked about often, because it was understood by all parties. Technically, the ‘unspoken’ rule. 

Rule 5

Do not, under any circumstances, fall in love with the other. 

[amayalunar]

Torn Part 1: The Plan Nyx Ulric X OC X Tredd Furia

Torn Part 1: The Plan Nyx Ulric X OC X Tredd Furia

Ok so I have been saving this for almost a month on paper… legit on paper it’s been sitting in a notebook while I have looked at it… I finally got the courage to finally post it.  Hopefully someone or maybe more will read it.  Not sure how long it’s going to be, but by the looks it’s gonna be a semi long semi short. Not sure.  Anyways thanks for reading.  I’m total Nyx and Tredd trash it’s unbelievable.  

Also Amaya Lunar, has been my original character for a very long time, I use her a lot… like in everything… because yeah that’s how I am… I do have other OC’s as well and might put an introduction page to all of my OC’s… who knows

This is semi borderline NSFW, also also TW total heartbreak and angst… hard core because I am angst trash too….

Unpopular opinion: I think Tredd acts like an ass to certain people, he just had it really rough.

Also I love Nyx (like he’s my fave) but I have ready so many fics where he feels unworthy and breaks it off… I wanted to write what happens after that, because what good is heartbreak without a little push back?

Without further interruptions…. here we go….

______________________________________________________

Amaya and Nyx, many would say they were inseparable. Nyx would always hand his arm around her, he would be protective over her. Even go as far she spending weekend out of town, to stay at one another's place. To be truthful, they were a couple... but clearly two different types.

After another heated session Nyx laid over her, his lips still lingering over her neck, as he took in her body heat, how his hunger was fueled by her skin, her beauty...everything until-

“I love you.”

He froze... he waited until it sank in a bit before he turned over on his back the back of his hand over his mouth. Amaya sat up the blanket pulled over her chest, noticing how his eyes were closed.

“Amaya, you can't love me.” he said lowly, the words felt like venom coming from his mouth, how it slipped down his veins as he heard her breath out a little harder.

“What do you mean?” She asked, her raven hair sticking to her face from the previous session. Her eyes gave a look of fear, the once lively and loving emerald orbs that usually stared at him changed to terror.

“I mean, I... don't love you.” she said trying to get words out, words he didn't mean. Words that would tear the woman he loved apart. “I enjoy my time with you, but... I don't have any emotional connection to you. I thought it was mutual, we have each other for pleasure.” he said, but once the words went out he instantly regretted them seeing her look at him as though he took her life and threw it away.

Amaya looked down, he went to touch her shoulder, wanting to tell her that everything he just said was a lie, but he knew better, he had already fucked everything up, all out of... fear.

Amaya stood her, he saw her shaking. Fighting the urge to get up and hold onto her he watched as she dressed herself, watched her cry, watched her heart break into pieces... watched her fall into oblivion.

That was 3 weeks ago....

Amaya wasn't a Glaive, just someone in the administration ward, usually handling paperwork. That still didn't mean she didn't see him on a daily basis. The time she was with Nyx, made her close with many of the Glaive members, especially Crowe. Crowe was always there for her, Hell she was there when Amaya ran out of that apartment. Crowe was the one who almost smacked Nyx around for what he did, and what he said.

However it didn't change anything. Amaya was still drowning in her own sorrow, trying to avoid the man who shattered her, trying to bring herself to be with others again, just like he did.

That night the Glaive were going out, and Crowe wanted her to go with. Even with all of the constant excuses Crowe finally was able to get a 'yes' out of the raven haired woman but, didn't mean she was happy about it.

Amaya was dressing herself that night, looking at herself in the mirror, trying to psych herself up for the night. Loud banging was heard at the door while Crowe stood there unamused. “That's what you're wearing?” she asked as Amaya rolled her eyes. “No, I just can't figure anything out.” She muttered.

Crowe then took the liberty to go through her closets. She threw out some dark blue skinny jeans, a low cut black cutout shirt, that gave great cleavage and showed her back off a bit with a netted look under, and a burgundy leather jacket. Amaya didn't bicker as she started putting on the outfit when Crowe threw over the black thigh high boots to go with.

After she had the outfit on Amaya accessorized, with a small gold chain and earrings. She cat lined her eyes with a smoky look, bringing her luscious green eyes to life, and accenting it all with a dark red matte lip color, a nice 24 hour wear so she wouldn't have to reapply. Her raven hair was done in a messy yet sexy way, her skin was pale and yet stunning.

When Amaya finally emerged from the bathroom Crowe whistled at her. “Damn girl, I'm can't believe he let that go!” She said eyeing the woman before her. Amaya whined at her for bringing it up, but she knew it's exactly what was going to happen most of the night. Crowe made it a point to try to get Amaya over the break up, or whatever the hell it was. Crowe also made it a point to tell her, that Nyx wasn't doing as hot as he makes it out to be either, “regret is a bitch” Crowe would say, or sometimes the word “revenge” would come up, but Amaya wasn't that type of person, she never was one to use revenge, but maybe... just maybe, it was time she started.

Crowe walked with Amaya down to the street to call a cap, she gushed about the latest of 'Glaive Gossip', they would call it. Mostly it was like, funniest moments of the week, type thing. The cab ride was a little longer than normal, meaning, this was not the normal place they were going. Instead of Yama's place they were in front of a higher end club, which was odd.

Inside Crowe pinpointed the gang right away. Amaya followed quietly as Crowe made herself known. “Well about time you showed up, geeze you women take to long.” he whined, she pushed him, almost getting him off his chair. “You hush, can't rush perfection. Right Amaya?” she asked turning to the raven haired woman. When she made it passed the last person she finally showed herself.

Nyx looked at her, and damn... yeah that was the only word he could think of at the moment.

Damn.

Damn... she was beautiful.

He damned himself for letting this go.

Damn, he wanted nothing more than to touch her in that moment, make everyone else stop staring at what was his....

Damn.... it wasn't his anymore....

Damn... he fucked up.

Amaya looked around at everyone, no one treated her any different, there was an occasional look of pity sometimes, but nothing else, just normal banter. However she felt his eyes on her, she felt him watch her, she had to do something to make it stop, to make his go back to someone else, look at someone else... watch her with someone else?

Amaya looked for a seat, only to see the only available seat was next to her, and she wouldn't put herself there, until she realized that it was just the normal get together, it was almost everyone, just they had other close tables, mostly 2 or 3 man tables, this was her way to get away from it. She seen a familiar redhead sitting at a lone table, either his part was getting drinks or he got annoyed with them, either way, it was him or Nyx.

Amaya made her way over to the cocky glaive, he peered over at her taking a drink. “This seat taken?” she asked motioning to the seat across him. His eyes trailed on her a bit, oh he knew her, everyone knew her, this was the Hero's baby... that is, until now. Tredd gave his signature smirk. “What brings you away from the scooby gang?” he asked, his little nickname for the Hero's group, since they were always together, and more than likely getting into trouble together. She looked at him, her emerald eyes meeting his brown ones. “Maybe I needed a change of pace,” however when she looked up she saw Nyx was getting up, and she didn't want to even speak with him, so instead of sitting she grabbed Tredds hand and pulled him up, “dance with me?” she asked, he gave out a laugh “Tredd don't dance.” his cocksure attitude showed a bit, she turned to see Nyx making his way over, she turned back to the red head, and he could see the light panic under her teasing expression, “please, just one and then I wont bother you anymore.” she said, he let out a sign and took down the last of his drink before fully getting up and following her to the floor. Nyx by-passed the table they were at, but made it seem like he was getting another drink.

Nyx watched from the bar, he hated what he saw, he hated seeing her dance with someone else.

Tredd looked up to see Nyx watching her, well what better way to fuck with the hero than to play a little game with him. He leaned down to Amaya's ear. “Mind if we get a little closer.” he said darkly, his hips pressed against her backside. Amaya enjoyed the heat, she enjoyed dancing with a partner. She grinded up on him as he let his hand slip down her figure as his mind starting thinking about want was underneath.

Nyx held his glass firmly, actually surprised he hadn't broken it yet. His eyes dating to the two. He should be the one with his hands trailing her hip, whispering into her ear. He should be the one...

Amaya didn't make eye-contact but she knew he was watching, she knew he saw her with someone else, and not just any someone, this was Tredd Furia, one of his comrades and one of his rivals. She knew his reputation which is why she could pull this more her way. She turned herself to Tredds face her eyes looking directly into his. “Take me home tonight?” His expression was a bit shocked, but he covered it up pretty well, “well I can't deny a lady's wish now can I?” he said his smirk widened. He his eyes trailed to Nyx, his eyes said it all... 'look what I have'...

Tredd leaned into her more taking her lips on his.

Nyx wanted to crush the glass bottle, he wanted to warp over to the two and slit his throat. No one, NO ONE, was to ever touch her... wait where? He watched as Amaya dragged him off the floor, over to the table and out the door. Nyx, letting his instincts take over quickly tried to follow however by the time he found himself outside, she was getting into a cab with him to Gods knows where. Nyx punched the building wall with more force than he really expected to.

He fucked up....

In the cab there was a light makeup session as Tredd let his hands wonder her. Feeling how soft her skin was under that leather jacket. When the cab came to a halt she purposely climbed over him, making it so she straddled his hips for a short amount of time. He paid the cabby with a cheeky comment about his great driving skills.

Tredd lead the way up to his apartment. Inside he turned to her as he kissed her roughly, trailing to her neck as he pulled off her jacket leaving the cut out shirt. The shirt exposed more skin than covered it seemed but, he wouldn't complain. His hands trailed from her waist to her hips, to those thighs. He felt her arms slip around his neck as he went back for her lips. Taking things further he lifted her, her legs wrapping around his waist, he pressed into her, causing her to moan into his mouth. For some reason his caused him to need her more. Without stopping himself he carried her to his room where he laid her on the bed towering over his, letting himself breath a bit before going back in.

However before he could he could see it in her eyes, the force... she was forcing herself to do this?

As much as he didn't want to, as much as he wanted to ignore it, he couldn't. Yes Tredd was fully aware he was an asshole, he was fully aware he was the master of one night stands and booty calls. However he would never take advantage of a woman when she was in pain.

Tredd move off her to lay on his back beside her. She knew, he knew. He was a Glaive, he was trained to notice the smallest details in everything. “Sorry.” she muttered, he turned to her almost confused. “Sorry for what?” “leading you on like this.” he sighed as he tried calming himself. He never did this, Tredd didn't do feelings, he didn't talk, he didn't dig.... but this was Amaya Lunar. The previous lover to the 'Hero of the Glaive' laying next to him, forcing herself to be with another man.

“Why?” is all he asked, she propped herself up, the scene reminded her of that day, just this time she had clothing on. “Why did I do it?” she questioned. Tredd shook his head as he sat up throwing his legs over the bed as he sat staring out the window. Apparently the weather felt just as shitty as she did, it must have began raining after they got inside.

“Why did he leave you?” Tredd asked taking her out of her thought process. Tredd felt the bed shift, he almost thought she was getting up to leave, until he saw her, sitting next to him, legs crossed as she looked out the window as well. “I told him I love him... but apparently I was....” she thought about his words, “you can't love me”, her eyes welled with tears once more as she tried to keep them silent. Tredd stayed silent waiting for the answer, however the answer isn't what he expected it to be. “Apparently, we were suppose to be just for pleasure.” she let out, her voice wavering. “This is why I tried, I tried going home with you, because if he can use me for that why can't I let someone else.” she cried out.

Those words ran though his like a double edged sword. He thought that, yes he can do it, he would pleasure someone to receive pleasure back, but Nyx? Tredd was always the ass, he would always poke Nyx's buttons just because he could. Nyx was suppose to be the golden boy. For some reason Tredd wanted to punch the guy. Then an idea hit him, he looked at her... he could see the pain... he wanted to get rid of it. He didn't know why. Yes he knew her, yes they were considered friends, yes she was damn fine, and probably one of the most beautiful women he had ever met. However Tredd didn't do feeling right?

She started getting up, “I'm sorry I bothered you like this, probably ruined your night with my tears.” she apologized, he got up standing in front of her, he pushed the hair that stuck to her tear stained face. “No... you didn't ruin my night. Oh damn I didn't get laid, guess what? I can do that tomorrow if I feel like it.” he said trying to lighten the mood. “Look, he's an ass for letting someone like you go. So lets make a deal, I will help you make him regret it.” he said she looked at him confused. “I will act on as though we are...” he looked for a suitable phrase, until she just decided to call it what it was, “friends with benefits?” He gave off a few nods, “Yeah that. We will act as though we are, I will go to places with you or show up. When you don't want to or can't anymore I'll get you out. To him, he'll see you leave with me. Occasionally leave something with me, something he would recognize. A picture of something. You'll make him regret it.” She looked at him, “Tredd, don't you think this will get in the way of your other booty calls?” she tried to joke through her surprise. Again he shrugged, “there is nothing that could bring me more joy than watching the hero squirm off of his own mistake.” he said, his tone was entertained as he pictured various outcomes, many resulted in them fighting, but hey it would be worth it.

Amaya went to speak but could only nod. Tredd saw how awkward she felt, as he pulled her closer. “How about tonight you stay here, we have to get more comfortable with each other. Promise I will keep my hands to myself... the best I can.” he added trying to make it come off that this was just so he could watch Nyx spiral into self pity. Amaya nodded as she slipped off her thigh high boots, pulling off her shirt. Tredd watched as she did so, part of him wanted to lay her down right there, show her he could be better than the hero in every way... wait, what?

Tredd got up and grabbed one of his shirts, he knew it was going to mess with him when she would be wearing nothing but maybe panties under than shirt, knowing there was never a woman in the world who would sleep with a bra on. He handed it to her as she took it. He knew she was only stripping down to secure herself with him, but didn't make it any easier for him not to stare or look, or even peek, which he failed miserably at.

Amaya finished her undressing, she then looked back at Tredd. “I'll pay for the take out, since you paid for the cab.” she offered, he shook his head, “next time.” he said as he went onto his phone and orders some random take out. He never liked it when someone else paid for him, even if it was returning a favor, it just wasn't in his character. He was always alone and made it up in the ranks in everything he did just to show he can do it. He didn't ever like something handed to him.

The two ended up watching TV, surprising enough Tredd sat and watched some sappy shit with her. The take out was accompanied by a quick split to the small mart next to the building for a thing of ice cream. Two spoons in the tub as Tredd continuously whined or argued with the couples in the movies. Amaya laughed at how cheesy things were, Tredd noticed lightly how pretty it was, he also mentally slapped himself for thinking it as well.

The night continued just like that, just like two friends catching up and having a night of nothing more than a good time. The two ended up falling asleep on the couch, Tredd's back was in the corner of the couch one leg up on the couch the other on the floor. He had his sweats on, and a tank. Amaya was leaned up against him, his chest her pillow and his arm as the top of the blanket... it was peaceful... it was calming... it was comfortable... No nightmares came that night.

Nyx splashed water onto his face as he still couldn't believe she went home with him. He knew she did too, because she wasn't at her own apartment. He looked into the mirror, his face was wet, his chest feeling like he was being crushed, worse than the last couple weeks. He made it back to his bedroom as he grabbed his phone, as she scrolled through the photos. Various photos of her littered though the gallery, some were just random shots, others of her in her lingerie, other were selfies of the two of them. He scrolled a little further hitting the video he wanted. They were in Galdin Quay, he smiled at the memory. He remember every move he made in the video to capture the one moment he wanted to have with him wherever he went. He snuck up behind her and grabbed her sides, as she let out a squeal then it turned into laughter as he didn't let go. Her laugh... the thing he would listen to when he couldn't sleep on missions, the sound that pulled him back from going off of an edge... the sound he loved. Nyx set the phone down next to himself as she leaned his head on his hands his eyes closed. He wouldn't cry... he couldn't... he did it... he let one tear fall... then another... until his whole being ached to hold her again... before he finally took sleep.

[coollifeisworthliving-blog]

Randomly post.

Can somebody who declare themself that they love me so much write a letter for me? A letter about how valuable I am as a person, how faithful or good I am as a human? I mean... Just write me some sentences that could comfort me and lift me up when I am down. Please remind me that I am strong for passing through those rough moment, remind me how rare creation I am as a person, how should I appreciate myself, and why should I keep stand on my trembling feet. I know am nobody. I got no serious problem with my life compare those unlucky people outside. But as a human, especially those whos more using heart than brain, whose sensitive and fucking easily to get touch (by the heart) with, I also could feel down sometimes. Well, speaking of lifting sentences, actually maybe I could written it by my own (thinking to make one). I should write it one, and read it whenever I feel down. Me, now I just randomly think that maybe I have been make one of the important person in mylife; mother, worried for the pass -God knows-for how long, cause she think that I have no close friend. I wish I could tell her, why am I like this. Mom, its not like I dont have close friends, there are many friends of mine who looks they re so comfortable with me and of course would like to make close friend with me, but I dunno why I just feel like I need to build line around me. It's like I am losing trust in word friend nowadays. I dont need to tell you mom, for every single reason why I am behaving this way. It just feel awkward I guess to tell you all of the stories, and its kinda feel late for me to starting to do so. If only you could start asking me to tell how was my day going on since I was on elementary school, or at least on my Junior high school period... But Mom, I wont blame anyone for this situation, if somebody ask me how is my relationship with my mom and dad, i dont really know how to answer. We have been living separated since I start my college life. And all what we have been doing since was just telling that everything is under control and we re fine in each other place. No detail, no stories, no jokes (so rare). But btw, why am I come to this topic? Anyway, I love you for whatever you guys flaws. You guys re simply the key of my Jannah door. I love you, and I am sorry for worrying you so much by living far far away. But hey Mom, I wish you know how happy I am to be here and helping people with all that I could do. Giving my pax a good service, advice, or controll them and finally be able to make them smile and say thank you at the end even they were having problem at the beginning, is such a winning way happiness of mine. I choose soft intonation voice over loud voice, I chose sad-sympathizing face over flat serious face when dealing with their problem, I choose to stay on my task over leaving it early like what my other colleagues did. Mom.. When I got sick thats the worst situation that I hate most. But hey, this comes together with all my decision to live far from you right. So I guess I shouldn't be complaining so much. And i guess this is the reason I always look like a kid and complain everything to those whos close with me; lover. Fine, lets get this post to the right topic. What was this all about at first? A lifting written isnt it? Yea.. I wish I could have one. And I would have read it one hour back, instead of ended up in tumblr and writing this post. Everyone will have their strength and their weakness isnt it? And i guess my weakness is procrastinating something, undisciplined, lazyness, pessimistic, overthink, and what else? Lmao! Gosh... Why is is so many? Is it late to change on my late 20s? I am scared. Alright, i ve been sleeping randomly on forbidden timing, skipping my dinner time taking medicine, and not doing what I supposed to do. And I feel bad for that, and when I feel bad I will fell down for quite a long time. *deepbreathe* May He forgive me for have been coorpate with Shaitan's temptation (for not using my time wisely). No lets end this post and start unclutter the environment and fix everthing up... 1:12AM H-10