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#‘WHAT??? NO.. NO SHES WAY TOO COOL TO WANNA TALK TO ME.. NO’
lovemewednesdays · 1 day
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monster trucks and a monster crush.
(Based off of this post from the lovely @ebongawk. If I had the spoons, I'd probably flesh this out a bit more, but for right now, it's just a bullet fic.)
The movie comes out in July.
Eddie and Chrissy aren’t dating yet, but they might as well be, seeing how they spend most of their time together.
Chrissy has been trying to figure out Eddie on a real date all summer with no luck, and then she sees an ad for Maximum Overdrive in the paper.
It was perfect – Chrissy doesn’t like horror that much, but she can stomach it for an hour and a half, especially if she got to look at Emilio Estevez in the process, and Eddie loves Stephen King, she’s seen the beaten-up paperbacks on his floor.
They’re on the couch in the trailer. Something’s playing on the TV. Chrissy’s not paying attention.
“Do you wanna go to the movies tomorrow?” she blurts out. "There's a new Emilio Estevez movie.” Eddie makes a face and Chrissy shoves him lightly. “It’s directed by Stephen King.”
“Oh, yeah. Heard something about that. It’s based on one of his short stories. Yeah, that’s cool, let’s do it.”
Chrissy smiles and snuggles back into his side. She feels like she’s floating.
It isn’t until Edde’s driving her back home that it hits her like a brick wall – what if Eddie doesn’t know it’s a date? They go to the movies all the time. He probably thinks it’s no big deal! It’s not! It’s the biggest deal!
She works herself up, her nerves getting the best of her, and when they pull up to her house, she jumps out and twirls around.
“BythewayImeanttomorrowtobeadate." His eyes widen as comprehension dawns and Chrissy has to leave. “Okay, bye!”
She sprints inside her house, leaving a shell-shocked Eddie behind.
(Chrissy doesn’t sleep well that night.)
(Neither does Eddie.)
The next day, Chrissy is ready to renege on the whole thing. They can just be friends. It was a stupid idea anyway, why would Eddie Munson ever date her?
The van pulls up, and as she makes her way over, Eddie pops out of the driver’s side and rushes over to open the passenger side door.
Chrissy stops. He’s wearing a plain black t-shirt under his leather jacket and his jeans don’t have any holes in them. It looks like he even tried to comb his hair.
He’s holding flowers.
Eddie's smile is nervous. “Wayne says it’s always a good idea to bring your girl flowers on a date.”
Chrissy smiles and takes the flowers.
The ride to the theater was normal. They talk about Corroded Coffin’s next gig, about the kids at Chrissy's summer job, and if Wayne would actually go on that fishing trip he’s been talking about for months. 
Once he parks, Eddie jumps out of the car and opens the passenger door. “Milady.” Chrissy takes his hand, gets out of the car, and they head toward the theater.
They’re almost to the door when Chrissy stops. Eddie stops, too.
They’re still holding hands.
“If, um…I know that – I know I didn’t let you respond yesterday, so I totally get it if you, um, don’t want it to be a date.”
She tries to pull her hand away, but Eddie tightens his grip.
“I was gathering the courage to do it myself, you know,” he says with a wry smile. “You beat me to the punch.” He kisses the back of her hand. “C’mon. You gotta go drool over Estevez.” Chrissy laughs and lets him lead her towards the theater.
The movie is terrible. Schlocky. Corny. Chrissy’s almost embarrassed for suggesting it, but Eddie’s arm is around her and he’s laughing.
(He loses it after the baseball coach dies by demonic soda cans. The kid getting run over by a steamroller right after didn’t help. Chrissy elbows him and Eddie flashes her a grin. “Kid’s fine, Cunningham. The grass’s soft.”)
The credits roll and Eddie and Chrissy walk out into the lobby; Chrissy hides her face. “I’m sorry!”
Eddie’s face twists in confusion. “Why are you sorry?”
“The movie was so bad! I don’t want our first date to be at a bad movie.”
Eddie takes her hands in his. “I had the time of my life watching that movie with you.” 
“Really?” 
“Oh, yeah! Watching a batshit-crazy movie about possessed eighteen-wheelers with my girl? Best day ever.”
Chrissy laughs and lifts up on her toes to kiss him. When she pulls back, Eddie grins widely and pulls her back in.
They get chased out of the theater by a miserable college kid in a neon orange vest grumbling about teenage hormones.
(When they make it out to the parking lot, Eddie stops her before she gets in. He lets go of her hand and splays himself against the hood of the van. “Now, Sheila. I know I just said that Chrissy was my girl, but I love you, too, and if you ever get possessed by an alien comet, please, please don’t kill us.”
Chrissy laughs and gets in the passenger seat as Eddie yells dramatically to be careful.
Eddie makes the movie his entire personality for weeks – whenever he sees an eighteen-wheeler, he screams and pulls Chrissy behind him. Sheila breaks down at the entrance to Loch Nora one night and he does his best Wanda June impression: “You can’t do this! WE MADE YOU!”
He takes the younger boys to see it and they join in on the theatrics. Steve and Nancy are ready to pull their hair out, but Chrissy loves it.
When the movie comes out on VHS, Eddie buys it immediately. They watch it every year on their anniversary.)
All in all, not a bad first date.
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miley1442111 · 3 days
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Hi my love!
I'm sorry if this is a bother, but I saw you were taking requests and I really wanted to see this one written and you do such amazing writing.
Please don't feel pressured into writing this tho
So, we all know Derek is like, 6'2" is, right, so the girls he talks to are shorter than him, but I was wondering if you could write something with a female reader where she is almost as tall as him, and decided to wear heels to something, like a party or a gala or something, and she feels insecure about being so tall and he's just swooning over her because look at his tall woman, his amazing tall woman who works as an FBI profiler and can literally kick anyone's ass and just look how cool his girlfriend is.
Like, if you wanted to you could write about how some guy made a comment and Derek literally had to be held back because he was full on ready to throw hands for the reader.
Bonus points of she's like really fit, like she definitely hits the gym and you can see it
Again, you don't have to write it if you don't want to/don't feel comfortable, I just thought it would be cute
OMG I love this idea, it's so freaking cute! I had so much fun with this and istg I'm so sick of y/n always being some small fragile little thing in fics, it drives me crazy!!!!
Thank you for requesting my dear ! :)
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my girl- d.morgan
a/n: intended for tall fem!reader but as per usual imagine what you like :)
summary: derek comforts you after something happens at the yearly award show
pairings: derek morgan x reader, (platonic) bau team x reader
warnings: insecurities, suggestive tones, crying, fluff :)
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You loved your body, seriously you did. It was your vessel, your home. You nourished it and took care of yourself. 
But sometimes you wanted to feel shorter. Being tall has its advantages, and yes, you knew you were more than conventionally attractive, but it didn’t stop the nagging feeling in the back of your head, telling you it was weird that when you wore heels, your boyfriend was looking up at you, not down. Derek was 6’2. You were 6’2 ½ with these heels on. You were taller, which was fine, but it played in your mind more than you had wanted it to for the entire night. 
Derek on the other hand? When he saw you in that perfect dress he didn’t think he’d have the willpower to actually stop himself from fucking you before the event. He felt so lucky. His beautiful, ass-kicking girlfriend was wearing a dress that he’d bought her and she looked fucking delicious. He knew you were gorgeous, especially when he was regularly graced with the image of you naked, but this was another level. On your latest mission you’d taken the unSub down on your own and he swore he’d never been more turned on. The way you just overpowered him, getting his knife off him and cuffing him. You were the most beautiful person in his eyes, you always would be.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Walking into the gala, he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, gripping and pawing at you, kissing you constantly. Though, he could see something was wrong. Was this gala too much for you? Did you want to go home early? He wouldn’t have complained.  
“You alright baby?” He asked as another award was announced. 
“Fine,” you sighed, staring into your plate of food as you just moved the mashed potatoes around. 
“Baby,” He placed his hand on your thigh, grabbing your attention. “Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing.”
Derek frowned. You weren’t usually one for keeping things from him. “Baby-”
“I’m going to the bathroom,” you announced to the table, and stood up. You avoided Derek’s concerned eyes and he got up to follow you. 
“How’s the weather up there?” A drunk asshole asked you and he saw the way your face subtly contorted into upset, trying to hide tears. 
He saw red.  
His eyes darkened and his fists balled at his sides. “You wanna say that again?”
The drunk asshole sobered slightly after seeing the seriousness on Derek’s face. 
“Derek it’s fine-” you pleaded, wanting to sink into the floor. 
“No it’s fucking not. Say it again.”
David and Aaron got up from the table, stalking over before Derek swung at the guy. 
They were too late. 
“Derek!” You shouted as the other two pulled him off the man. Other tables were starting to stare and you felt perpetually worse. You should’ve just worn flats. 
“You can shut up next time, yeah?” Derek jeered at the bleeding man as Aaron and David held him back.
“Calm down,” Aaron ordered cooly, and Derek instantly pulled himself out of their arms,brushing them off. 
“I’m calm,” he said. He was not calm. No one got to insult his girl. 
“Can we just go home?” You whispered through shaky breaths. Derek’s attention was all on you.
“Of course we can.”
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The drive home was silent, his hand on your thigh as you attempted to calm down. 
Derek was wracking his brain for why you’d been off all night but came up empty. 
What was wrong?
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You kicked off your shoes, practically running to the bathroom and locking it behind you. Derek sighed to himself as he set down the keys, deciding to grab himself a beer. 
You took off your makeup, your dress, and showered, trying to wash your insecurities away. You knew you were pretty, you knew Derek loved you the way you were. 
Sometimes insecurities just get the better of you.  
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You sheepishly walked into your bedroom and saw Derek on the bed, waiting for you. 
“Can we talk?” He asked and you nodded slowly. “What’s wrong?”
And with that, the floodgates opened. You pushed your face into his chest, crying against him as he comforted you. “I just… I know I’m ‘pretty’ and all but… sometimes I just-”
“Hey, you are pretty, so goddamn pretty baby,” he smiled at you and it eased some of the hurt in you. “But I get that you don’t always feel like it, which is fine too, y’know why?”
“Why?” You snuffled out, looking up at him through running mascara.
“Because I can alway remind you, my pretty girl,” he smirked, and sealed his statement with a kiss. 
You felt better, knowing you had someone who loved you no matter what. 
It’s not like Derek minded, he was so head over heels for you you could’ve had two heads and he wouldn't have cared. You were his.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
criminal minds masterlist:)
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moominpopzz · 16 days
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Ashe would’ve had the most egregious platonic crush on Cantrip EVER btw,,, they deserved to meet
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luck-of-the-drawings · 4 months
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EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE MOVED ON SO WELL, ITS LIKE NO ONE EVEN CARES THAT SHES GONE. ISNT ANYONE ELSE FUCKING MAD? OR CONFUSED? I WILL TEAR THIS WHOLE WORLD APART FOR AN ANSWER, SINCE NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO WANT TO.
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just1gnome · 7 months
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"that sounds tediously boring"
gnome beat the game
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here they are on the boat
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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hauntingblue · 1 month
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Try not to make fights between two women look homoerotic challenge level impossible
#if franky isnt good with swords why does he have a sword on his mecha 💀 just for the shogun bit#inu inu fruit??? he is just like inuyasha... omg.... crossover of my favourite things.... yamato i love you.....#yamato eating the protector deity of wano fruit.... calling himself oden.... his father must be fuming he is the antithesis of his person#obv its very much on purposes but lmao rip bozo (kaido) you didnt think much about that one.... maybe the deity of wano wants its people to#be free and not slaves of a weapons industry idk....#not olvia omg... and saul.... and clover... they changed little robin's name.... and her mom's voice is the same as hers lmao it's too much#robin said this is way too nice.... can't be real#once again thinking about robin holding her mothers hand..... and becoming an archeologist to make her proud.... the hands....#but now it's not about her mom now its about her friends.... also her childish heart omg.... truly#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1042#robin defending sanji's honor akdjsks#robin that was so slay... take care tho.... ily.... until next time#luffy on the floor passed out having a tantrum about food. incredible#fucking caribou again.... DIEEE!!!!#MOMO FLY AGAIN!!!! GET OVER YOUR FEAR OF HEIGHTS#also yesterday i was showering and thinking about like dying like this cant be right... i am on thay level....#episode 1043#'i am not soft on women' oh yeah i bet...#see how good armor haki would have been here..... i have been saying this#robin's face..... strongest element in all of one piece.....#robin wanting to become strong for someone else.... just like nami.....#OHHHH SHIT!!!!!!! she said i wanna be with my friends 😁 -> 😈#that was so cool. also black maria is DEAD. that was a CLUTCH WWE STYLE. DAMN. robin getting there by thinking about his friends :)))#what love and human connection do to a mf (positively)#OH SHINOBU'S ABILITY.... MOMO..... OMG#episode 1044#robin ily that was so cool. call me any time btw.
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butchwink · 24 days
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i got the best and worst booster box ever i pulled three blue eyes. but this was pokemon and it was the fucking duck. quaxlys evolution. i got a bunch of everything cause its a booster box but i pulled three quaquavals. i did it like an advent calendar with my friend. we opened maybe five packs the day we bought it and restrained ourselves for a month and had a pack a day it was so fun pulling these!
the third quaquaval was the rare one but not the gold one and i was so mad lmao it was the second last pack. forreal! and my pulls other than the full art wooper (lets fucking gooo) were shit i wanted a clodsire! i pulled one buying three packs a few days later no big deal lmao but i was so mad at this box.
the last pack had the rare tinkaton. i also got a full art boss's orders too im so happy it was such a funny fucking box in the end i pulled three fucking blue eyes i swear if i saw a fourth quaquaval too early i mightve actually ripped it in half. my problem is I LOST THEM ON THE FUCKING BUS AND LIKE MY WALLET ITS FATE IS WITH THE HUMANS OF OTTAWA AND THE FUCKERS AT OC TRANSPO THAT I TRUST SO MUCH FUCK MY LIFE
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spaciebabie · 5 months
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Katherine has a really fucked up martyr complex that doesn't get resolved till the end of the story btw
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rosicheeks · 7 months
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as a fellow she-ra fan it makes me REALLY happy that you watch it too! it’s such a good show ugh and it’s so cute 🥺 10/10 i would love to cuddle and watch it with you and nerd out about it 🥺🤭💖
-🌸
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#just wanna double check are you talking about the original show or the remake on Netflix?#I’m pretty sure I clarified in my other post but just in case wanna make sure we are talking about the same show#but uhhhh if you are talking about the Netflix remake I’m kinda obsessed???????????#still don’t know what I wanna do for Halloween but damn wouldn’t entrapta or she-ra or something from the show be so damn CUTE#also have you seen Kipo? I don’t remember the full name of it - age of the wonderbeasts (I think?)#but it’s the same like dreamworks/Netflix combo and it has the same voice actor for glimmer#when I first watched she-ra I instantly recognized glimmers voice#also these shows have been making me want to look into voice acting cause omg how cool would that be?!?!?!#anywayyyy I’m watching the very last episode now and I’m so sad????#like there’s no fucking way they wrap everything up in 23min?????#ok I’m not giving up hope quite yet#but I swear if they give me a shitty ending I’m gonna be PISSED#but I love love love she-ra - entrapta is my FAVORITE character….. like in the show but honestly she’s been one of my fav characters in#a long long time! she’s just so cute and relatable and I wanna hug her and squeeze her#every time she was left on her own or in a dangerous place I knew she was going to be fine#like when she went to beast island I literally said to myself ‘she’s going to be fucking running that place watch 😂’#ok hope I didn’t spoil anything too much if anyone’s reading this who hasn’t seen it#but 50000/10 recommend Kipo and She-Ra on Netflix - both have cheesy parts for sure but man I feel like they are such gems#also both are super rewatchable - I’ve been showing a friend she-ra so I started at the beginning with her and I’ve noticed so many#new things I didn’t see before#ok I’m getting distracted… mainly cause I’m scared to watch the last episode! Im kinda surprised I’m watching the last episode right away#fun fact I never finished criminal minds cause I didn’t want to hahah#ok ok ok before I run out of space I would LOVE ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOVE to stay in bed and cuddle watching she-ra and talking about it all DAY#or a couch just wanna be comfy cozy with you watching she-ra and freaking out at all my fav parts 🥰🥰🥰🥰#that sounds SO amazing right now#ok I’ve waited long enough I’m gonna pack a bowl and watch the last episode wish me luck 😂#ask#🌸 anon
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ollie-jpg · 2 years
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guys i had a panic attack during work tonight and i handled it so well i’m so proud of myself
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fabulouslygaybean · 2 years
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warning for talk of recreational drug use in the tags
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celibibratty · 3 months
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i thought reddit were more down to earth, no!, this is not being down to earth, they are just rude...just rude!/jerks!, it-was-only-supposed-to-be a text saying that the pak mei form should have on Nintendo switch.........i have a fucking fuss/fighting magnet for some fuckin reason on this shit💢🔥 anything I say on this shit site appears a bunch of motherfuckers to disagree or complain about something, trying to be the known at alls, don't mess with me, that i don't mess with you, if you gonna bite/come to me with bad heart shitty comments, i will bite you too(and i will bite HARD), don't try me, i not in my best state of spirit🔥💢, you so coward and dumbass that you need a bunch dumbass homies like you to defend your shitty behaviour/comments so you feel right/in power, whata hell, i just do/write things on my own little way if don't like/don't have patient to read it, FUCK YOU!, so you not the person to read this, it makes me feel sad how such a cool game like sifu attract such motherfuckers(come on ana i already know/notice that since the moment that the game released (february 2022), don't get so surprised, gamers/fight game community is shitty), stop, stop, stop with this, i used to thought the same thing with lis2 on 2020/weird diazcest and extremist anti phase, i shouldn't take this things from heart, shitty people will always exist on things that you like(it's not the things fault, don't blame them, Ana)
#reflection#reddit#Bunch motherfuckers that play the victim/act to be better than others#*it's so immature to not do forgiveness* it's not me the one that it was trying too hard to impose a belief on...#Someone that just simply don't believe It/won't change their mind i respectfully disagreeing and you still trying who is the true immature?#Talk about forgiveness/forgive in the game is easy(s1fu is just a fuckin game) i want to see do it on real life🔥#Bunch of 20s years old motherfuckers dudes who think are better than others just because they are adults playing videogames#God forbid if those motherfuckers know that i'm a woman the misogyn skin would release(i think they think i'm a dude cuz of the way i talk)#God that person was the ONLY person that it was nice to me/say something cool/that added something(I was kinda Lucky)...#And i not even know if i can rely much on that too but they were nice#I don't wanna use/look at this shit ever again even the nice post i don't to see it anymore💧(but was still cool/Nice)#What happened on reddit stays/dies on reddit!#Reddit people are shitty and annoying and judge you for anything and when you defend yourself they play the victim and dislikes your post#A BIG FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR ASS🖕🖕🔥💢#Fuck you too project of wannabe the mature person#People literally come to MINE! post being some bitchy-ass motherfuckers and i'm the disrespectful one *FUCK-YOU i'm done*(like ep 4 sean)#Only marina to save me open up to her changes everything(she makes me better)#(sigh)i'm okay i just venting I Will get over all of it i'm fine 😓💨 i just expressing this to be a reminder to myself and...#Maybe other people can relate too#Never will touch this hellish thing again#Fuck pak mei form or others people interaction#At least on my place/blog i can ramble/write my big texts in peace without no motherfucker complaining about it in my fuckin face...#and tries to make this mine problem(*bro* is your own problem if you can't handle my Crazy style of writing not mine)#I still want/wanted the pak mei form💧
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snekdood · 9 months
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if bullying works why did my language arts teacher get in trouble for it and i didn’t change at all in whatever way she wanted me to 🤔
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deadsetobsessions · 2 months
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Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.4
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3][Pt.5][Pt.6][Pt.7]
Danny was sitting in the back, his backpack obnoxiously taking up the seat next to him, when the door to the lecture hall creaked open near silently.
“What are you in here for?” Danny asked the guy who crept into class. He sympathetically took his backpack off the Seat of Shame and allowed the guy to sit down. Funnily enough, they had the same hair and eye color.
“Gen Ed. Undecided. You?” The guy grunted quietly back.
“Environmental studies. I’m Danny.”
“Tim.”
With the implicit understanding of two people in a required class they could not give less than two fucks about, Tim and Danny tuned back into the lecture. When the class was assigned group work, Danny looked over to see Tim softly snoring, head slammed down on the table.
“Tim. Wake up, dude.” Danny poked his shoulder.
“Huh? Class over?”
“Nah, we got group work. Discussion board.”
“Oh shit, thanks for waking me up. Wanna team up?”
Danny shrugged. “Sure. We should aim to post it in the middle so the professor doesn’t read our answers to the class.”
“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Any idea what we’re talking about?”
“Kind of?”
“Good enough for me.”
——
Tim Drake kept seeing Danny Fenton around on campus.
“Danny! Dude, what are you doing?”
Danny turned, gloved hands full of crumpled trash. “Picking up after the student population, apparently.”
“Didn’t think environmental studies was that serious.”
“Global warming is very serious, you jerk,” Danny smirked at him, crossing the grass to put the trash into the trash can. “Reduce, reuse, oil shouldn’t be spilled in water and all that.”
“Basic stuff,” Tim grinned. Nice, he basically had a friend past Bernard now!
They were friends, right?
“And yet humanity fails to comprehend it. Incredible. Incredibly stupid that is.”
“They get it. Major corporations just don’t care.”
Danny sighed. “True that. You on your way to your next class?” He took off his biodegradable gloves off (nitrile and nylon, baby!) and chucked them into the trash.
“I’ve got free time, actually. Prof cancelled for his daughter’s surgery.”
“Oh, shit, that’s rough! You wanna go downtown and join the strike?”
“A strike? What for?” Even as he asked, Tim hiked his bag higher onto his shoulder, ready to go. They fell into step as the two left campus.
“Apparently, Quillan Pharma was doing some shady shit at their manufacturing plants. I think it’s like killing kids, and pouring toxins into the ground.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah. Oh! Poison Ivy’s gonna be there!”
Tim blinked. He casted a sideways look at Danny. Sure he’s been here long enough to know… but it couldn’t hurt to check. “You know she’s an eco-terrorist, right?”
“Okay, but like… people suck sometimes. And all she’s asking for is like don’t kill the planet. And she doesn’t do that whole mind control thing too much anymore! The Sirens are so cool. Plus, one of my best friends at home might actually kill me if I don’t try to get her autograph. Poison Ivy is like, Sam’s personal hero.”
Tim snickered. “Yeah, okay. Mind if one of my friends join? His name’s Bernard.”
“The more the merrier,” Danny nodded. “Ooo! Hot chocolate. Want some?”
Danny bought three drinks as Tim trailed behind, texting Bernard.
“He said yes.”
“Cool! We should meet up somewhere before the drinks get cold.”
Well, Danny got the autograph. Tim got a new friend, and Bernard got a drink from his crush.
——
“Oh, you’re the glowing dude that Batman always talks about!”
Danny blinked, eyes scanning the wing-like cape and the yellow emblem on the hero’s suit. Danny was indeed glowing, stars and nebulas freckling across neon green skin, and glowing hair the color of a white dwarf star, tinged with the blue from his ice core.
“I… have absolutely no idea who you are,” Danny lied, like a liar. He’s found a surprising niche of entertainment in messing with the local vigilantes and he’ll be damned if he missed this opportunity.
He heard a snicker from the comm lines as Red Robin visibly brushes it off.
“I’m Red Robin. Why are you picking up trash?”
“Picking up after you humans, apparently.”
The both of them blink, feeling a weird sense of déjà vu. A moment of awkward silence passed before they both shook it off.
“Are you here to help? No offense, but the track record for you people is terrible.” Danny strode over and grabbed a bag. He opened it, and shook it at Red Robin’s face. “See? Batarangs, these odd bird looking ones, the R’s. Seriously, pick up after yourselves!”
“Oh, woah, can we have these back?”
Danny yanked the bag back before Red Robin could get close. “Pay me. These were incredibly tedious to pick up. Especially the batarangs. I mean, I even found a whole bunch of old rusted ones in the middle of the bay. What did you do, dump an entire bag in there from the air?”
Red Robin sighed and took out a wad of cash, with tracking fluid all over it. Danny grimaced, smelling the odd scent on the money. “That’s not real cash. It smells off. Are you trying to give me counterfeits because you’re broke?”
Red Robin gaped, oddly offended. “No! They’re real!”
“Doesn’t smell like it. It’s stinkier than the trash. Go get the one with the money, the litterer. Tell him I’ll be back the next full moon. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Danny grumbled, disappearing on the spot to watch Red Robin flounder with the stack of cash and the piles of dead bodies on the shore.
“What the fuck even is my life these days?” Red Robin wondered out loud, stuffing the cash back into his pocket. He looked over the plastic wrapped bodies and slumped, sighing.
Oddly enough, Danny felt a sense of sympathy. Well, he’s not getting paid for sympathy. He’s not getting paid at all tonight, actually. Danny flew off, plunging once more into the depths of the significantly cleaner waters, and used his ice to scoop out oil stains.
Danny glanced around and sighed. He had a lot of work to do.
——
“So you’re saying he’s like a werewolf mermaid fae child immortal god thing, right?”
Bruce grunted.
“B, what the hell are you smoking these days? You know drugs are bad, right? Do we need Superman to give you that PSA?” Jason snickered.
Tim, massaging his arms from having to haul an ungodly amount of dead bodies, grunted. He’s so similar to Bruce that it gave the people currently in the cave hives.
“He said full moon. I don’t think we can track him with regular stuff. The bugs kept shorting out.”
“Oh boy,” Dick sighed. “Don’t fall off the spiral cliff, Tim. You’ve got midterms to think about so no stalking the guy.”
“Yet,” Tim shot back, changing out of his suit.
Bruce grunted, setting aside a huge stack of cash.
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joyful-soul-collector · 9 months
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I've seen a lot of people talking about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects women and how well it does that, so I wanna talk about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects men and how well it does that. Because it does that really well tbh.
At the beginning of the movie, it's made very clear that the Kens are constantly competing with each other, and trying to prove their worth, their Ken-ness, to both the Barbies, and more importantly, to the other Kens. In fact, multiple times through the movie it's shown that Ken seems to find the opinions of other Kens as a motivator for him to do things. He tries to show off to Barbie only after he sees the other Kens saying hi to her. He only starts dancing with Barbie when he sees the other Kens dancing with her. He only goes with her to the Real World after another Ken accuses him of cowardice and he decides to prove him wrong. Barbie says "Ken's not cool!" and Ken responds "He is to me."
This shows so damn well what the patriarchy is like for men. Because for the Kens it's not necessarily about Barbie, it's about what other Kens think of you. Being a man you are constantly, incessantly trying so damn hard to prove to the other men around you that you are a man, the manliest man to ever man, the best Ken to ever Ken. Literally doing backflips trying to prove yourself. And this is before patriarchy is even officially introduced to the story, there's no undertone of power yet, this is just what it's like to be a man around other men. It's toxic masculinity.
And when the patriarchy is introduced, that's increased tenfold. At first it looks like they've banded together to take power, but really they're still competing with each other, they're just doing it differently. Rather than competing to see who can get Barbie to fall in love with them, they're competing to see who can be the manliest, have the manliest stuff, wear the manliest clothes, have the manliest house and decorations.
And then they literally go to war. War is considered one of the few places where it's socially accepted for men to be more emotional, form deep and personal bonds with other men, and that's exactly what happens in the movie. They go to war, and there's an entire song where they bond and learn not to fight with each other anymore.
And that I think is the message from the Kens. For men, the way the patriarchy affects them is it forces constant competition and animosity, even around people that are supposed to be your friends. It makes it impossible to express your feelings unless they're with a romantic partner, and all of this turns you into a pent up ball of emotions with nowhere to go.
Which means that the message is: In order to fix the way the patriarchy oppresses men, men need to learn how to form close bonds with people, especially other men. Because like Barbie said to Ken, he needs to discover who he is without her. Men have learned to lean on women as a crutch, using them to figure out how to Be A Person and express emotions in a healthy way, but this can very quickly turn into a woman feeling like she needs too be his mother and teach him how to do these things. And Ken was 100% doing this, or at least he was trying to throughout the movie. Ken was so desperate for Barbie to be in love with him, not necessarily because he loved her, but because he needed a person he could just exist as himself around. Because he couldn't do that with the other Kens, the only person he could be himself around was Barbie.
And what's so great about the end of the movie is that the Kens did eventually figure out how to form close bonds with each other! They went to war, argued and fought, but by the end of the song they were holding hands, kissing each other on the cheek, telling each other they were enough. Even when Ken is up in the dreamhouse, crying and saying that he looks stupid, all the other Kens start shouting back up to him, saying that he looks cool. And Ken responds by giving one of his new friends his coat, which was clearly very important to him.
What the Kens did, that's what men in the real world need to do. They need to form close bonds with other men and stop competing with each other. Hopefully not by going to war the way the Kens did, Barbie isn't a blueprint for solving the patriarchy lol.
I'd be happy to do it through a song though.
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