#“but the whole point of mamma mia is that we never find out who the real father is”

[bambirex]

It's A Game We Play: Chapter 2

Pairings: Geraskier, Yennskier, Radskier

Characters: Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia, Yennefer of Vengerberg, Radovid, original female characters, Essi Daven, Priscilla, Ciri of Cintra, Valdo Marx

Additional tags: inspired by Mamma Mia! (movies), crack, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, omega jaskier, alpha geralt, alpha yennefer, beta radovid, awkwardness, jaskier is a good parent, protective jaskier, weddings, found family, post mpreg, fluff and humor, alternate universe - modern setting

Rating: teen and up audiences

Full word count: 4,816 words

Chapter word count: 2,430 words

Chapters: 2/?

Summary: Jaskier's daughter is about to marry the love of her life, and she decides she wants both her parents at her wedding. Only problem is that Jaskier has slept with a little too many people in his youth, so the identity of the other parent is a mystery. That does not stop the bride-to-be from inviting three potential daddy candidates and unleashing absolute chaos in the process.

*

Otherwise known as Jaskier's terrible horrible no good past decisions leading to terrible horrible no good outcomes. Also known as the Mamma Mia! AU nobody asked for, but I wrote it anyway.

Chapter summary: Amaryllis goes looking for clues in Jaskier's diary. She finds three of them.

Author's notes: All of your lovely feedback motivated me so much that I had to get this chapter out as soon as possible, thank you all!! ❤️ We're getting a glimpse into Jaskier's past and a very vague introduction to the three potential other parents.

Read on Ao3

*

Amaryllis knew she was facing quite the challenge with trying to figure out the identity of her other parent, but she was Jaskier's daughter; that meant she inherited the "never-backing-down-from-a-challenge gene". She was going to find out who it was, come hell or high water.

Her Papa was a little too tight-lipped about the whole ordeal. Amaryllis didn't know if it was because he actually had no clue, or because he just didn't want to reveal it, but it seemed like that if it remained up to him, Amaryllis would never find out.

Clearly, pressing Jaskier for further info wouldn't work, so Amaryllis needed a different method to investigate. And how lucky she was to have a father who was such a hopeless romantic with a great artistic streak, that he sentimentally kept a journal all these years- a journal that may or may not have contained the clues about what Amaryllis so desperately wanted to know.

She felt a little bad about rummaging through Jaskier's drawers to find his diary. She's made a promise she would never read his intimate thoughts, but desperate times called for drastic measures.

"Are you sure there's anything of substance in there?" Vera, one of her friends and bridesmaids, asked, as Amaryllis sat them down in her bedroom and waved Jaskier's diary in front of their noses.

"I know he used to write a lot," Amaryllis explained. She ran her fingers over the birds and flowers on the cover. "He even told me himself. It was a kind of comfort for him. Songs, short stories, just talking about his day... he still wrote in it when I was little."

"And you think he also wrote about all the people he's slept with," Marion, her other bridesmaid, pointed out with a chuckle. Amaryllis snorted.

"I know it sounds weird, but I think he did. He's exactly the type of person who would write epic poems about his romances, no matter how short-lived. I think if there's anything that could help us, it's this diary."

There was a chance she was wrong, of course, and that she wouldn't find anything in the diary. But she had to try: she's dreamt about this all her life. About someone who cared for Jaskier the way he deserved, who helped him through everything. Amaryllis knew she couldn't give Jaskier back all those lonely years of raising her alone, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to try and mend things. Maybe it was never too late to try and build the kind of family she and her father both deserved. It was her wedding, after all, which was the best opportunity to make everything perfect.

Taking a deep breath, Amaryllis sat between her friends and opened the diary.

They had to pass through many boring entries about Jaskier's mundane days, and then some angry rants about the one who shall not be named, even though everyone knew exactly, that those entries were about Valdo Marx, Jaskier's biggest rival. They attended the same theater group in high school, and they hated each other with a burning passion, being the two most talented of their peers. They competed with each other all the time, and they applied to the same college of performing arts.

Valdo got in, and Jaskier got pregnant. Jaskier didn’t immediately apply after finishing high school, because he decided to help his aunt on the island by working at the inn. And with having a baby so soon, he never even had the chance to get into that college. Amaryllis swallowed the guilt down heavily.

After many irrelevant drabbles interspersed with various ideas on how Jaskier was planning to murder Valdo, they reached a long segment with many glittery hearts and rainbows drawn on the margins, which caught their attention.

"Look at the date!" Marion squealed, "Summer of 2002!!"

"Shit," Amaryllis's heart sped up. This was it. She was born in the May of 2003, so the summer of 2002 was when Jaskier has spent the most time on the island, and has gotten pregnant with Amaryllis.

"That's a long entry," Vera chuckled. "Slept with a guy named Jonathan... Not very remarkable and he smells like gasoline. Cindy is cute... oh, Cindy is an Omega, we're crossing her off the list. Thomas took me behind a trashcan!? I'll never be able to look into your father's eyes again. Are you planning on going through all of these?"

"Well, we have to narrow it down," Amaryllis said. "Let's count quickly... I was born in May, so nine months back is... August. Let's focus on August."

"August the third, what a night!" Amaryllis read out loud. "After what felt like years of trying to convince him, Geralt finally agreed on spending the night together. Dear Diary, let me tell you, this man is a beast in bed!"

Oh, God. Amaryllis will also never be able to look into her father's eyes again.

"He's so hot, I can't control myself around him. It's been three weeks since he helped me after my car broke down on the road. His defined muscles are practically bursting out of his shirt. I still shiver just remembering the sight of him working on that flat tire... bloated biceps on display... his long, white hair falling into his eyes... those wild, amber eyes, like a wolf, how I wished he would devour me!"

Huh. Jaskier sure had a vivid imagination.

"My brave, strong Alpha knight in black armor! He always wears black. He's spending the month on the island, holidaying with his family. I hope he stays longer, though he says he has to go back to finish college. He's gonna be a personal trainer, which makes so much sense, just look at him! I wanna be in those strong arms all the time. He's a bit grumpy, and he doesn't speak a lot, and he seems so traditional, too, not wanting to jump my bones right away... But then... He did! Dear Diary, when I tell you that he has a huge... "

"Yikes," Amaryllis quickly passed the following, explicit lines about the night Jaskier and his big strong knight spent together. The night when maybe, a white-haired, muscled introvert has knocked up her father.

The next entry was Jaskier talking about being so in love with Geralt, who then broke his heart by telling him that he needed to leave the island earlier with his family, and he didn't want to make things complicated by continuing their romance.

The next entry came a week later. It told the story of Jaskier falling in love again.

"August the tenth, what a night! I was approached by a lovely Beta named Radovid. He is literally blond Prince Charming... not on a white horse, but in a white Bentley. And those blue eyes... and that smile... He's sweet but knows how to flirt. He just inherited his father's company (coconuts? He mentioned what they were trading but I forgot, I think it was coconuts), so he has lots of money. Has the idea of being a sugar baby crossed my mind for a hot second? Maybe. But actually, he could be completely broke and I would still end up in his lap with how smoothly he was talking me out of my pants all night."

"Oh, Papa," Amaryllis chuckled, "you're so easy, bless your little slutty heart."

"He told me I was the prettiest Omega he has ever seen, and that he would love to hear me sing one day! He looked so good in that maroon button up, I couldn't wait to get him out of it. He ordered me the most expensive drink. I didn't want to offend him by telling him it tasted like dishwater. The way he looked at me over the rim of his glass was worth it, though. He could peel an orange open with just one look. We spent a wonderful night together. Very gentle and generous lover! I especially liked it when he..."

"Dude," Vera groaned, "why does your father have to go into such details?"

"Well, he never intended this to end up in our hands," Amaryllis chuckled.

Of course, the Disney Prince left the same way Geralt, the big buff paramour did: his freshly inherited business called out for him, and he left a very sad, and possibly pregnant Jaskier behind on the island.

But Jaskier wasn't mourning for long.

"August the twenty-fifth, what a night! I think I've mentioned Yennefer the chef in training before, right? She's working at the inn for this summer, and I've been trying to seduce her for two months and she refused all of my advances! But then Auntie threw a little party, and this time, she was the one that came up to me! She's such a sassy Alpha. Insanely hot too. Very sharp tongue and also very talented, if you know what I mean... "

They didn't need to know what he meant because Jaskier described it quite vividly in the next paragraph.

"I'm pretty sure the guests heard us going at it the whole night, but it was worth it! She's so beautiful, I couldn't stop looking at her lying next to me, raven-haired, violet-eyed supermodel, God! I wish I could paint so I could capture her beauty as she lay bare next to me. I'm already sad knowing she will have to go home soon, but maybe I can try and convince her to stay..."

He didn't manage, clearly, because Yennefer also went home, oblivious to the fact that maybe she and Jaskier made a baby on that night.

Amaryllis put the diary down with a big sigh. So many emotions swirled inside her: excitement over finally finding clues, sadness for her father's broken heart, also a whole amount of nervousness realizing that three horses were in this race. Her other parent was one of the three that Jaskier played hanky panky with in August.

"It's one of them," Amaryllis said, staring down at the tiny sandpiper in the corner of the cover. "But God, which one?"

"It's hard to tell, like, we cannot exactly determine the date of your conception," Marion replied. "But, out of the thousand people your father has slept with, we managed to narrow it down to Muscle Man, Ritchie Ritch, and Savage Soufflé."

"That's still three people!" Amaryllis threw her hands up in frustration. "How am I supposed to decide which one's the real one?"

She dropped her hands into her lap with a deep sigh. She got closer to the solution, but instead of making things easier, this revelation actually complicated everything even more. Amidst the sea of people Jaskier has had sex with, stood out three islands, but they were so distant.

She couldn't figure it out just by looking at their names. And she couldn't figure it out by asking Jaskier. She looked down on the diary, then opened it again. On the margins, next to the tiny doodles, were addresses scribbled down- with a tiny note saying "if I'd be brave enough to go after them."

An idea formed in her head. A crazy one, perhaps, but right now, it felt like her only chance of finding the other parent she was longing for.

"I'd know if I met them," Amaryllis eventually said. Seeing her friends' confused faces, she continued. "I think if I saw them in person, if I talked to them... I would feel it. Papa wrote down their address. I could send them a letter."

"Or you could find them on social media like any normal person would," Marion told her. "A letter? In this century?"

"Yeah, well... they don't know me. But they know my Papa. And if I wrote in his name and asked them to come see him... they might. I don't want to leave any traces behind, and once something lands on the internet, it stays there forever... besides, I know my father is a hopeless romantic. If he were to write a letter to his previous beaus, he would go all traditional and write a letter with his own hands."

"And what are the chances their address is still the same?" Vera chimed in. "And that the mailman would deliver a letter to someone whose last name you don't even know?"

"I have to try. That's the only way I can figure out who it is. And not a word about this to my father!"

She stared at the hearts on the margins, and smiled. Her Papa will absolutely kill her if he finds out, but that was a risk she was willing to take if it meant finally finding the rest of her family.

--

Strange. Jaskier could have sworn his diary was in the third drawer, not the second. But maybe he remembered it wrong.

He sat on the bed and hugged his diary to his chest with a sigh. It was silly of him, to suddenly feel the need to take a trip down memory lane just now, but truth be told, Amaryllis's question triggered some memories; memories of passionate nights and happy mornings, syrupy-sweet romances and horrible heartaches.

His heart got broken, and he broke other people's hearts, many times. As a young, reckless Omega who fell in love with anyone, he didn't really stop to care.

But now, his adult daughter needed an answer that Jaskier brushed under the rug all the time. Did he not know who it was? He didn't, not really. Did he not have a clue?

Well. He wasn't very good at Math, but he was able to count to nine. It wasn't as if the idea never crossed his mind, and while he has went through half the population of the island that summer, there was only a handful of people he had sex with in August, shockingly.

But Jaskier promised himself he would never go there, even though those three somehow always stood out - his feelings for them ran a little deeper than for the rest. He even had half a mind to seek them out after he parted from them, but he was too much of a coward. And a slut, probably. Who knows, maybe one of his one-night stands that came after knocked him up. Anything was possible with how much he used to sleep around.

They were all in the past, anyway. Those three, and the several others, too. It would tear up too many scars to try and get into this too deeply.

He needed to focus on making Amaryllis's big day special, instead.

[the-cat-chat]

March 23, 2024

Mamma Mia! (2008)

A young woman invites three of her free-spirited mom's former flings to her Greek island wedding, hoping to discover which one of them is her father.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: I'm gonna get straight to the point. I did not like this movie. I actually don't mind musicals. But in this movie, the songs did not make the story better. In fact, several times it felt like the plot moved weirdly in order to justify the addition of some of the songs. And the songs and their lyrics didn't always match the plot.

The decision making of the characters bothered me so much. The mom? She just never makes the effort to find out the father in the 20+ years? It feels selfish to do that, especially when the daughter really wants to know.

And the daughter seems incredibly immature. It's as if she's thirteen and not a grown adult. I'm so glad she doesn't get married at the end because her relationship with her fiance isn't stable. She doesn't communicate with him at all and they are supposed to be getting married?

Speaking of marriage, why on earth does the mom get married in the end to this virtual stranger? This stranger who left her in the past to go marry someone else (is he a cheater or something?? please explain).

The only character who I think is interesting is Colin Farrell. But overall, I don't think the movie is very funny, the plot isn't logical, the music doesn't match, the characters aren't sympathetic.

I found the entire experience frustrating. And I'm perplexed that sooooo many people think this is the best movie ever made. It has to be about nostalgia.

Rating: 3/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I can’t believe I picked this. Ok I knew there was singing, but it’s ABBA that’s a totally different ball game. And sure there were times the music made me want to shove myself off a Greek cliffside- but more so it was the plot. I mean just wow. I don’t know. I want to know how all these really great actors read the script and said “this is awesome I’ll do it,” and just maybeeee bc it’s 2008 I’ll forgive them, but I’m scarred a little more each time I think about it.

The whole problem I have is with the plot. And that’s a big problem. There’s just too much. First really bad idea inviting not one, not two, but three of your mom’s ex lovers at random (shocked they showed) to your wedding that’s in like 24 hours. I need more time to get motivated to shave my legs- let alone play Jerry Springer in Greece. Next, let’s just glaze over Dominic Cooper’s very lizard boy performance- I have no clue why that’s the vibe I’m getting but dare I say dump the lizard boy. Next, the dads. I don’t know how to feel- really hate Sam’s story, could really care less about Bill? I don’t even remember if that’s his name. And Harry- I just love Colin Firth and my deep rooted love for What a Girl Wants will never die. He gets a pass. Now this mother. That could care less about figuring out which man fathered your child. Bc it undermines what she did alone. Out of choice?? Like I would love to know the backstory too on the fact that she named Sophie after Bill’s aunt there on the island and got her money???? But we pretty much know she’s Sam’s right? Since they were together longer?? And Sophie draws in the same exact style as him???? Right. Riiiggght. Ok I’m done - can’t believe they never say who it is or get a dna test. But whatever.

And what takes the cake? The wedding. Just really. I’m mad now thinking about this movie. All of it. And I have to say- this is awful and the true winner of ABBA movies is very clearly Muriel’s Wedding and I don’t really remember all of it bc I saw over 10 years ago but guess what - you even get Toni Collette, so pls, don’t even try to outmatch her.

Rating: 2/10 Cats 🐈 (1 for the Mamma Mia song, .5 for Colin Firth and .5 for that insane fever dream closing dance number)

[talesofmetalandmagic]

About Cinderella (2021)

POSITIVES

- The idea of an entrepreneur Cinderella who wants to use her craft to escape her household could have been relatable. How many young people nowadays use home-made craft to make money to escape bad situations? Artists, makers, YouTubers, producers... people could relate to that.

- Idina Menzel’s performance and singing was on point. Her song “Dream Girl” was the best part of the movie, and when she started playing the piano (after telling Cinderella she couldn’t pursue her dreams as a pianist) was pretty powerful.

- The jokes at the expense of King Pierce Brosnan’s singing, a clear callback to Mamma Mia!, were fun. Minnie Driver is also beautiful.

- The idea of the Fairy Godmother springing from a butterfly was a great metaphor, as well as him using one of Ella’s designs to make her a dress.

- The Whatta Man sequence had fantastic costumes and I loved how they integrated the cultures of the visiting princesses, such as the Indian princess with the shiny sari.

- Some of the modern jokes, like the cello player smashing her instrument or the maid with the electric guitar, were fun.

- They avoided jokes at the expense of Maddie Baillo’s weight, which I’ve seen other Cinderella movies fail to do.

NEGATIVES

- Camila Cabello can’t sing and her acting is unremarkable.

- Billy Porter’s entire scene was devoid of emotion: it’s supposed to be Cinderella’s lowest moments, but she still stands strong and sings an empowering ballad. It’s hard to feel empathy.

- Billy Porter as a whole was nothing but a gimmick to make the movie stand out, even though other versions (like the Rossini opera, which also features an evil stepfather) already had a male “fairy godmother”. Without this choice, the movie would have nothing to be remembered by.

- James Corden. Just... James Corden.

- Gwendolyn’s character was just there to be “empowered” and had no genuine bond with anyone to justify her accomplishments.

- Since when is a woman wanting to be a TAILOR frowned upon? Tailoring is a traditionally feminine activity. And somehow Ella’s dream is more criticized than Gwen, whose ambitions are political.

- The Evil Stepmother isn’t evil at all and we see the stepsisters doing more household chores than Cinderella herself. Hers is not a figure you can make redeemable and despite Menzel’s effort, it didn’t work. It’s hard to find any stakes for Cinderella’s escape from her house if we don’t see the amount of her abuse. The Disney versions, Ella Enchanted and Ever After pulled it off miles better – especially the latter, which really leaned into the historical element.

- The original songs that weren’t Dream Girl leave much to be desired, especially the main power ballad Million To One, which is pretty generic stuff.

- The covers were mostly unremarkable and didn’t have a cohesive theme. Rock Of Ages has an 80s rock theme, Mamma Mia! has an ABBA theme, the We Will Rock You musical has of course a Queen theme, but this movie bounces from the 80s to the 2000s to the 2010s and has no structure in how he does it.

- I’m usually not against “this version of Fairytale Princess is strong and independent, unlike the original who just waited passively for her prince to come and save her” in principle, and for some stories (like both Snow White retellings, which for all their faults had unique spins on the story and reworked it enough it’d feel different) it can work... as long as the character is actually passive and in need of a saviour. Snow White adaptions work with a passive character, but Cinderella has never been passive to begin with, and she did all she could in her bad situation. It almost feels like they’re shaming abuse victims for not being “strong and independent” enough if they keep holding on instead of doing something reckless, and it’s sad. Just... sad.

[skycounts]

One thing Carina has learned while being with Maya is that Maya is good at shutting down. She could turn off her emotions in the blink of an eye and it took awhile for Carina to understand how she could do that.

Maya doesn’t talk about it, but Carina knows it’s because of her dad. Maya never got the luxury of hanging out with friends and seeing movies or staying up late on a school night. She had a set schedule her entire life and had to learn how to turn off her emotions quickly.

“Hey, I’m home,” Maya says, tired.

Carina’s body fills with excitement. She never gets tired of her wife walking through the door of their house. “Hi, bambina,” she offers lightly, a smile on her face.

Maya gives her a tight-lipped smile. “Hi, baby,” she says.

Carina reaches for Maya, entangling herself in the woman’s arms. “I missed you,” she tells Maya.

Maya tenses a bit and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Carina. “You, too,” she says softly. “Where’s our daughter?”

Carina leans in for a quick kiss before untangling herself from Maya. “She’s still sleeping,” she says.

“Still? It’s nearly eight o’clock. She’s usually up at six thirty on the dot,” Maya says.

Carina shrugs. “She was fussy all night. She’s teething, remember?”

“Oh, yeah,” Maya says. “I’m gonna sleep for a couple of hours. I’m exhausted.”

Carina leans in for a kiss. “Are you okay?” She asks.

Something flashes across Maya’s face. “M’fine,” she murmurs. She kisses Carina back. “Wanna lay in bed with me for a bit until Frankie wakes up?”

It’s then that Carina realizes Maya isn’t okay. “Of course, amore,” she says, taking Maya’s hand and leading her to their bedroom.

When they get into their bedroom, Carina undresses Maya slowly, taking the time to kiss what bare skin she finds. It isn’t sexual; it’s intimate and the gesture is so full of love that it almost makes Maya cry.

They get into bed and Maya clings onto Carina, wrapping herself completely around her. Carina plays with Maya’s hair and whispers words of love to her until she falls asleep.

It’s not too long after Maya falls asleep that Carina hears Frankie on the baby monitor saying, “Mamma, mamma, mamma.”

Carina slowly untangles herself from Maya and places a gentle kiss on her forehead before going to the nursery and greeting her baby girl.

“Buongiorno, la mia bambina,” Carina says, smiling.

“Mamma,” Frankie says, bouncing up and down in her crib.

“I’m here, baby,” Carina says, picking up Frankie and kissing her forehead. “You’re warm,” she says, reaching for the baby thermometer and taking Frankie’s temperature. “Oh, piccola, hai la febbre.”

She quickly changes Frankie’s diaper and gives her some teething medicine along with baby Tylenol. She dresses her for the day and then heads into the kitchen to put her in her high chair.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Carina asks Frankie. “Some fruit and mashed oats? Oatmeal and sliced avocado?”

Frankie nods, laughing.

Carina laughs softly. “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” she says.

She feeds Frankie breakfast and cleans her up before putting her in the living room so she can play with her toys.

Carina is cleaning up the kitchen when Maya walks in, freshly showered and dressed for the day.

“Where’s my goober?” Maya asks and she hears Frankie scream in excitement from the living room.

“Mommy,” Frankie says.

Maya laughs and leans in for a quick kiss from Carina.

“She has a fever,” Carina tells Maya. “It’s not high. I gave her medicine.”

Maya nods. “Okay, good,” she says. “I’m gonna go play with her for a bit, then, if her fever is better, I’ll take her with me to go and get lunch with Pru and Miller.”

“I didn’t know you had lunch plans today,” Carina says.

“We made them this morning after shift,” Maya tells her. “He just needs some advice and the girls haven’t seen each other in a few weeks.”

Carina nods. “Okay, while you do that, I’m gonna go shopping with Jo. They’ve got a new shop downtown and both of us wanna check it out. I was gonna take Frankie, but if you’re gonna take her, I’m fine with that.”

Maya smiles. “Do they have lingerie at this new shop?” She asks.

Carina laughs. “You are absurd,” she says.

Maya beams and kisses Carina’s smile. “You love me,” she says.

“I do,” Carina agrees. “I really, really do.”

—

It’s not until they’re having dinner that Maya seems really off.

“It’s bedtime for a certain little girl,” Carina says softly, pointing to Frankie who’s falling asleep in her high chair.

Maya stares off into space.

“Bambina?” Carina questions. “Maya.”

Maya snaps out of it and blinks slowly at Carina. “Mhm?”

Carina brushes it off. “Our daughter is falling asleep sitting up,” she tells Maya.

Maya smiles. “She’s adorable,” she says before standing up and going to pick up Francesca. “C’mon, goober, time for bed.”

After Maya puts Frankie to bed, she meets Carina in their bedroom.

“What’s going on?” Carina asks Maya.

“What do you mean?” Maya asks.

“You’ve been off all day,” Carina says. “Did something happen at work?”

Maya winces and tries to play it off. “Just a long shift,” she says.

Carina sighs. “I wish you’d talk to me.”

“I am. We’re talking right now,” Maya jokes.

“Bambina,” she says softly.

“There was a bad fire,” Maya tells Carina. “Probably one of the worst I’ve seen.”

“What happened?” Carina asks.

Maya takes off her shirt and looks for a sleeping one. “When we got there, almost the entire house was up in flames,” she says. “I mean, anyone who wasn’t already out of there, wasn’t getting out. And there was this woman screaming for her daughter. It, like, echos in my head, you know?” She pauses for a moment, trying to keep herself together. “I couldn’t send anyone on my team in there. It was sudden death. We had to fight it from the outside and when we got the whole thing out, we went inside.” She blows out a breath. “The entire time, the woman was screaming for her daughter. She had just given birth and her new grand baby was in there as well. We found them, burnt to a crisp. The woman’s daughter was holding her baby, and, my God, Carina, if you would’ve seen it.”

Carina walks over to Maya and holds her.

“I just kept thinking about you and Frankie,” Maya admits. “And how that the woman outside screaming could’ve been me screaming for you guys.”

“We’re right here, bambina. We’re safe,” Carina says.

Maya nods. “It was terrible,” she says.

“I’m sorry,” Carina says.

Maya leans against Carina. “I love you.”

Carina kisses Maya’s temple. “I love you.”

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Okay so yknow the adele song 'rolling in the deep'

but these lyrics here;

"We could have had it all,

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)

Rolling in the deep

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

You had my heart inside of your hands

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)

And you played it to the beat

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)"

As shigadabi (or any other ship) angst

(Sorry if this doesnt make sense my mind is running in circle rn and had to get this off of my mind)

KEHEBEKHRBDKFIFJFO I MEAN YES

Consider:

The general situation is that Tomura refuses to go with the heroes and he thinks Dabi is a traitor for going back to his family.

At the same time, Dabi is very confused and angry because he thinks Tomura manipulated him into being a villain.

(Both idiots are wrong but when they are angry and sad, there's not stopping them. You know how it is.)

Tomura is the one singing in between lines and Dabi is singing the main lyrics.

Consider as a bonus the heroes finally getting to know what the hell was the type of relationship the League had with each other. gossip time.

Endeavor getting offended by Dabi having something not only with any guy, not only with a villain, but also with the biggest villain out there, WHO WAS HIS BOSS.

On the other hand, the League is like WE KNEW IT. YOU TWO GOT SOMETHING FOR THE OTHER.

It's like that one revelation during a dinner where the thing is said, there's a minute of silence and then everyone starts screaming at the same time and there's people standing, forks pointing, food flying.

Tomura and Dabi promising to ruin the other's life is sooooo funny to me because they're going from rivals / to boss and worker / to friends / to almost lovers / to enemies / to that one person that is not your ex but is kinda your ex / to bickering redemption partners / to bitter lovers with a bunch of regrets / to boyfriends.

No one have a clue of what's happening expect Izuku, who keeps track in one of his notebooks. He gives updates every Friday on the class 1-A dorms using PowerPoint presentations.

You know how Mamma Mia is just ABBA songs? This is the same but it's Shigadabi with Adele songs. Such drama queens.

Somehow Hawks keeps getting trapped in the middle of the situation because 1) he enjoys gossiping, 2) he goes to buy chicken wings at the worst times, several times a week, 3) both Tomura and Dabi hate him a lot so either they are using him against the other, or they are joining forces to hate him.

Class 1-B and class 1-A have bets about when are they going to kiss, who's gonna give up first, if it's gonna be romantic or kinda bloody, etc.

The entire Japan population agrees this is way better than having them around killing people. At least now they are more like a reality show or something.

IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY ANGSTY, OKAY? DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE COMEDY.

Why? Because trust is a big deal for both Dabi and Tomura. Everything is laughter until Dabi starts screaming about how Tomura was the first person he trusted after what happened to him when he was still Touya, but he took him down a corrupting road and never cared to push him away, never care to help him, he never care about him at all. And Tomura starts screaming about how he knows he ruins everything he touches and gets killed all the people he had ever loved, but he's tired of people running away from him, specially if he likes that person. Growing up he could only think about how he was a monster and he never cared about anything as much as he cared about the League, but Dabi is making it sound like Tomura is like AFO, and it hurts more than any fight he has lived through. He's not like AFO. HE'S NOT LIKE HIM.

At some point Dabi goes back to his villainous ways right at the same time as Tomura starts redeeming himself. And it's a mess of a situation.

Tomura almost gets killed by AFO at some point, and they can barely save him. They take him to a hospital and the Todosiblings really need to restrain Dabi from burning down his way to Tomura's room because no visits are allowed.

You can imagine how guilty they both feel about the things they've implied about the other.

The Todosiblings stay with Dabi the whole night because they know Dabi is in a dark place and he can't be alone with his sadness. But after three nights, Dabi runs away to find the members of the League. He only feels sane with them around, even if it's because they have seen the worst of him and they have never judged.

When Tomura finally wakes up, Dabi is the one visit he gets, courtesy of Deku and Shoto influence.

Tomura refuses to look at the traitor walking into his room. Dabi is so angry and so sad and so worried, but he just stands there, feeling like he's burning again, the disappointment on Tomura all over his skin.

But they almost lost each other. Dabi will never forget how helpless he felt when he saw Tomura on TV fighting AFO, his body falling apart, his stupid red eyes dark and empty.

Tomura swallows how he could only think about the League while almost dying. He could only think I failed them I failed them I failed them.

It's Dabi who moves first, taking Tomura's hand. He's careful to not end up decayed.

Tomura almost yells and tries to push away, but Dabi takes it, rest his forehead on it, trembling.

And he sings quietly that stupid song.

“ I can't help feeling

We could've had it all ”

And Tomura sobs a little. He is being careful, but he asks in a tiny voice for Dabi to let go. He doesn't want to... He doesn't want to accidentally kill him.

Dabi refuses: “Your hand. It's cold.”

It's in that white room with dark curtains and a closed door that Dabi tells Tomura that he regrets meting him.

And Tomura's heart stops. Until he feels the drop of blood over his hand and hears the words that come after.

Dabi regrets meting him too late when he's already fucked up, when all he has is the same rage that is drowning his siblings, the same rage ...

... That had them both running around, Tomura finishes before Dabi could.

They talk. No one's knows what they talk about. No one knows what happens in that room that night.

They are still very angry, very sad, very many things, but they also know they are madly in love with the other and they don't want to crash and burn alone.

They made a pretty good team, in fact.

The end.

I need to stop getting carried away and giving you guys so much nonsense. Sorry.

[thatbeluga]

Wet Sock Part Twelve: Revenge of the Y/N

Part One / Part Two / Wom’s Chapter / Part Three/ Wom 2 / Part Four/Part Five / Part Six / Wom 3 / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Wom 4 / Part 10 / Part 11

"What just happened to them?!" Elmo shouted, pointing at where Fuck and Beluga had just been.

"The universe finally got tired of their bullshit," Misp said, shrugging. "And now it seems to have... done away with them."

"But what about what they were saying about the apocalypse?" Elmo asked. "And stopping it? Isn't that important?"

"Look, Beluga and Fuck, as much as we love them... well they find it really fun to piss off the universe by breaking its rules," Rad said. "You know, like changing the whole genre of reality when they're bored, cheating death simply by saying "no thanks, have a nice day," reanimating dead parrots to perform the hit Broadway musical and later motion picture Mamma Mia, stitching up holes in reality that threaten to change everything we know and love into something we could never recognize as our true world, being too hot, shoplifting, that kind of stuff."

"So where are they?" Elmo asked. "Shouldn't we go... rescue them?"

"Where are they?" Misp scoffed. "They're probably dead."

"How can they be dead? Aren't they gods?" Elmo asked. Rad's eyes went wide.

"Elmo... there aren't any more gods. They may be powerful, but they're mortal," Rad said. How could Elmo not know that there weren't any more gods? Except for Rad, of course.

"No more... gods?" Elmo asked. "But-

"ANYWAY," Misp interrupted, "if the universe wanted to kill Beluga and Fuck, it could. They're not gods, they're not integral to the fabric of the universe, so it can do whatever it wants with the two of them without harming itself."

"That's a shame," Elmo said. "I can't believe the universe would just get rid of two people like that. It could have learned so much from them. I mean, if I were the universe, I'd just kidnap them, interrogate them, learn everything they've learned in their long lives, and then kill them."

"It doesn't really matter, does it?" Rad asked. "If Beluga and Fuck need our help, Beluga can just write us wherever he needs us to go."

Suddenly, blood began to drip down the wall, oozing out of the crease with the ceiling. The viscous ooze began to curl into wobbly letters.

"What's happening?" Elmo asked, jumping away from the wall.

"Oh my fucking god," Rad groaned. "Beluga is sending us a message when he absolutely does NOT have to."

The blood was drying, permanently staining over the old messages written on the wall long ago.

"What does it say?" Elmo asked, reaching out with a shaky hand.

The blood had formed a single, terrifying word:

"B O O B S"

"What does it mean?" Elmo whimpered.

"Look's like whatever prison Beluga and Fuck are being held in, they've gotten their form of a phone call," Rad said. "And they're using it to prank call us."

"This does give us a clue though," Misp said, pointing to the word. "This might help us narrow down exactly which celestial prison is holding the two of them captive."

"I... oh it's been so long..." Elmo said, closing her eyes. "I can't remember..."

"You won't have to," Rad said, narrowing her eyes. She'd noticed a small smudge of blood towards the bottom of the message. "I know exactly where this is coming from."

She pointed to the smaller inscription:

"Blood message sent via UWU Enterprises tm"

"Oh no," Misp said. "It can't be."

"It can," Rad said, grabbing a can of beans. "The universe didn't take Beluga and Fuck captive. It was a god. An old god."

They were supposed to all be gone. One had evidently gotten loose, and now it had her kind of parents.

"Who?" Elmo asked, backing away.

"Y/N."

"Y/N took Fuck and Beluga."

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Ya know, I truly hope Miss Renesmee Carlie Cullen fully dedicates herself to just....being as out there and iconic as possible

first things first- ANYTHING with the loch ness monster on it, she owns. Posters, shirts, jackets, shoes, folders, buttons, iron-ons, there is always at least 5 pieces of Nessie merch on her at all times

once she gets old enough to start high school, the cover story is her and Edward are siblings that Carlisle and Esme took in, and sometimes her classmates will ask her what her biological parents were like and she will flat out be like 'oh, they're vampires' and Edward and Bella are like. 5 feet away trying not to scream

every Halloween she'll show up to school in an elaborate Nosferatu costume

goes out of her way to photobomb people in increasingly ridiculous ways so there will Always be a photographic record of her and in like 100 years she can get a huge kick out of teens on the internet trying to make a conspiracy about her

joins as many school clubs as she can, even if she has no interest in them- she just Really wants a concrete record of herself to exist lmao

ICONIC at school theater though. One of those demon theater kids that come to rehearsal purely to cause chaos and nothing else, but her voice is incredible so she secures every lead. One time she somehow managed to star in a show while also playing in the school band for it- her classmates still have no idea how she pulled it off

Always brings blood out in public in a CLEAR THERMOS and it stresses her family out so much but everyone else thinks she's just like, weirdly into tomato juice so the Cullens can't stop her

to everyone's surprise...her biggest chaos enabler is Jasper lmao. everyone thought he'd be a logical, responsible uncle but they're just. A Problem together. He'll 100% assist her in any prank she wants to pull, he gets her fake id's when she wants to sneak into a club with friends, he bails her out of jail without telling her parents, they figured out if she gets high and he reads her feelings he'll get high too and it's. So fucking funny.

she's always carrying some random instrument around school- like for a while it's a guitar or a harmonica, fine, but then she'll start lugging a cello around, a tuba (she doesn't even play, she stole it off a guy who was annoying her) and it escalates until one day she's wheeling a piano around the building. no one's even sure how she got in in the doors of the school. She keeps running kids over in the hallway with it

You know the Catherine Tate Lauren Cooper skit with David Tennant? Where she's being a terrible student and then perfectly recites Shakespeare? 100% Nessie

when she starts getting dates Jacob keeps trying to wing man and be over supportive and give her a ton of girl advice and it's embarrassing as hell so one day when he was on a spiel about How To Woo A Lady she looks him in the eyes and goes 'oh really? did that work on my mom?' and the Cullens fucking LOSE IT. Jacob had to go live in the woods for a few days because he couldn't cope

Emmet and Jasper: arrive to school in their jeep. Rose and Alice: arrive in a convertible. Edward: arrives in his dumb volvo. Bella and Jake: arrive to school on motorcycles. Nessie: arrives to school on a unicycle while juggling

one year she ended up getting nominated for prom queen and Edward read the minds of the teachers tallying the votes so he knew she won and he and Bella were so excited!! they're like we're gonna take so many pictures of our baby looking like a princess! And then she emerges from her room, actually drenched in pigs blood. Like she just did it to herself and went to the dance and accepted her crown like that

she regularly commits crimes against fashion. If she comes out of her room and sees Alice contemplating turning herself over to the Volturi, she KNOWS she's picked a great look

somehow gets ahold of Aro's cell number and sends him selfies of her blatantly breaking vampire laws captioned 'whatcha gonna do'. he keeps blocking her but she keeps managing to get through to him somehow

she illegally sells soda out of her locker and does people's homework for cash, while also paying other people to do her homework for her. she organizes every single senior prank. she's never gotten a detention in her whole immortal life because every teacher just Adores her for some reason

had 100% used her powers for deserved evil before. Like, if someone's being a dick at school, she'll sneak into their room at night and give them nightmarea threatening them to be a better person lol

sometimes she'll show up at the hospital unannounced and ask Carlisle, in front of his coworkers, 'yo can I raid the blood bank?'

her bedroom looks like a library. every wall, floor to ceiling books.

she's been publishing trashy romance novels under a fake name for almost 40 years now and no one in her family knows

one birthday Jacob takes her on a trip to vegas and they get wasted, at some point they were laughing about how ridiculous their lives are and they're like 'wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if we had a baby'. they then black out, hangover style, and wake up like a week later with a payment on her card to a fertility clinic. Jacob's like 😱 and Ness is just like 'you get to be the one to explain this to my parents'

Their kid is absolutely hilarious, they were correct, and at some point they realized 'wait...drinks blood..doesn't sparkle...can shape shift...we've somehow created a classic pop culture vampire' lmao

Edward had to threaten them to get them to not name the kid Vladimir

Also to be clear: Nessie and Jacob have the EXACT same dynamic as Will and Grace. that's canon.

says its her goal to star in a live action all female production of mamma mia and Carlisle is like 'honey you know you can't do anything on broadway or in hollywood' and she's like, 'no, in real life. I'm gonna go to greece and attract a bunch of women with abba songs' and he's like,,,,,ah

she loves all music but she goes out of her way to Only play stuff she knows Edward hates lmao

one day she remembers she doesn't need to breathe and can see under water and just. books herself a ticket to scotland and Finds The Loch Ness Monster

she actually personally finds a lot of monsters and cryptids like her hybrid aura just attracts all kind of weird shit and she LOVES it. She stops writing trashy romance novels and starts writing autobiographies of her traveling and hanging out with paranormal beings and everyone just assumes its fiction so she becomes a best selling fantasy author lmao

100% she's very into witchy stuff and only like...half in a trendy way. She's like what if on top of everything I've got going on I can cast spells? Think I deserve that power

when she's a couple decades old she catches Edward looking grossed out one day and she asks him what's up and he's like 'I really dont need to hear what creepy teachers think about my daughter' and she's like. oh. Dad we are gonna get SO MANY pedophiles arrested shdndjdn she gets him to expose teachers and she baits them then calls the police. queen.

She finds out she can get tattoos but they fade completely out of her skin within 5 years so she's always getting crazy tats

posts selfies on social media of her just like. hanging out with mountain lions or chilling on top of the space needle. her classmates think they're all photoshopped obvi but it drives her family insane

imagine you're 15 and you're on a nice hike in the woods and you come across your one classmate half naked, sacrificing a bear in some ritual, blood dripping down her face, bigfoot chilling on the rocks behind her filming the ritual on her phone...like on one hand, what would you do, but on the other hand. you've known this girl for a bit and you aren't surprised at all

anyway. stan Nessie Cullen.

[sylvies-chen]

Ooh since you like giving music recs, mind sharing 5 favorite albums? I love getting music recs and finding new artists to listen to!

OOOOOOH okay this is a really good question!! So narrowing it down is proving to be a bit of a challenge so I’m going to make two lists: the first will be what I think are the top 5 best albums ever and the other list being my personal favourite 5 albums at the moment. I think that way I can talk about music I like while also giving recommendations that aren’t purely mainstream stuff :)

Top 5 Best Albums Ever… According To Me

Rumours by Fleetwood Mac - If a group of people cheating on each other can make an album like this and include the most achingly cool and fantastic base lines (in The Chain) then maybe we as a society need to re-evaluate our stance on monogamy

Folklore by Taylor Swift - Genuinely convinced Taylor Swift hit the jackpot writing this because she really honed into an introspective, calmer theme for an album being released in a time where people were in lockdown and had no choice but to sit around and think (or overthink, if you’re like me). It’s honestly just the most consistently good albums ever.

Melodrama by Lorde - One of the best pop albums ever and I will NEVER shut up about it!!! It tells such a cohesive narrative throughout the whole album, keeps these very fitting late night electronic pop beats (with the exception of the low point of Liability in which it’s just a heartbreaking piano melody) and was released at a point where more synthesized music and late night pop and partying was at its peak. A great example of how you can follow trends without sacrificing your sense of lyrical genius.

Voulez-Vous by ABBA - I just love ABBA and I don’t even think I need to say anything else except for their music led to Mamma Mia so…. everyone should love them????

The Stranger by Billy Joel - BILLYYYYYYY. Honestly this album is so underrated but Vienna alone could bring this into any top 5 list. He has a way of not making constant piano melodies annoying, like I listened to the whole thing and did not get sick of the piano. Billy Joel has just such a nostalgic feel to him.

My Personal 5 Favourite Albums Right Now

five seconds flat by Lizzy McAlpine - I’ve had this album on repeat since july and I don’t think my obsession is dying out anytime soon because lizzy mcalpine has suchhhhh a smooth, clear voice and her lyrics rip my heart out!!! it’s amazing!!! I actually had such an urge to gatekeep her in 2020 when her last album “give me a minute” came out but she’s too good to gatekeep tbh. still, I’m convinced nobody will love her like I love her. no one.

Wet Leg by Wet Leg - I know Harry Styles did a cover of one of their songs once but honestly it didn’t compare to the original. this band came out of nowhere and just has such a unique, fun style and I dig it!! It’s just very cool and laidback and “girl who doesn’t give two shits” kind of stuff

Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier - THIS IS SELF-EXPLANATORY. I fucking love Hozier, his lyrics are truly so poetic and I cry from the beauty of it

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers - again, this album does a really good job of telling a cohesive story from start to finish. Is it a sad story? Absolutely. But it’s also really beautiful, and the classic hot girl depression music.

Coming Home by Leon Bridges - Mr. Leon Bridges truly doesn’t fuck around!! He’s a king when it comes to this genre and honestly River is such a gorgeous song

Also if anyone wants a song rec for a specific feeling or situation they can hop into my inbox because, if I do humbly say so myself, I’m fucking great at that

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 5

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader 

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, stalking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, drinking, angst

summary -  “Please,” he said, staring you straight in the eyes. “Don’t go.” 

a/n - i really love this chapter! cant wait to hear what yall think :DD also for reference i aged jack down just a year so hes 3 when haley passes away, about to turn 5 when reader & aaron get together. i dont claim any dialogue straight from Emma as mine! (emma dialogue is in italics) 

masterlist / series masterlist / read it on ao3 

chapter 4 / chapter 6 

-----

You were hyper-aware of the new way the team was looking at you as you entered the conference room. You shot a very anxious glance up towards Aaron, grateful for the very brief- but soft- glance he gave you before the business side of him took over again. You could feel the ghost of his hand hovering over that protective spot on your back again as he led you up towards the table. 

It felt like your eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets, upon seeing the seemingly endless piles of photos in front of you. Your brain was struggling to process everything that was laid out in front of you and you felt your heart rate start to pick up; seeing it in person was worse than anything your mind had created in the drive here. 

“Y/N.” 

Your eyes shot up to meet the voice and you saw Spencer looking down at you with a look that was just on the edge of pity. “We tried to sort the pictures into piles of time relativity. Would you be able to go through them and help us create a firmer timeline?” 

You nodded at that, vaguely aware of Aaron pulling a chair out behind you. You gladly slid down into it. Seeing Emily start to pick up one pile and push them towards you made you nervously laugh, the stress of the moment and how uncomfortable you felt forcing it out. When the entire team gave you a weird look you said, “Sorry, it just reminded me of last time.” 

You gently picked up the stack of photos, trying to hold them as lightly as possible. The knowledge that the unsub had packaged these himself sent a shiver down your spine. You knew it was silly, but you somehow felt that by touching the photos you were somehow also touching the remnants of the unsub. 

The first stack you easily dated as around four years ago, just from your hair; you’d drastically changed it for a role. You thumbed through the photos and could feel the knots in your stomach growing even tighter. Most of the photos were blurry and relatively distant from you, as if the unsub was still getting comfortable with what he was doing. 

“This was four years ago, I had to change my hair for a role and I’ve never had it like that before or again.” You said quietly, pushing the pile back to Emily. 

She nodded, giving you a gracious smile before pushing the next pile towards you. Your face fell immediately; something the team equated to how much more personal these set of photos seemed to be. You fanned the stack out in front of you. There weren’t many, as if even the unsub could recognize the inappropriate- ha!- nature of capturing you like this. In all of them you looked worn down, as if a cloud was following you everywhere you went. 

“This was about two years ago.” You said flatly. It took a moment, but you could see everyone connect the dots in their head and suddenly the room felt very small. 

Thankfully, the next pile was rather average and you guessed that this was just an ‘extra’ pile of photos that didn’t really seem to fit into a cohesive timeframe. As you scanned over them, one caught your eye and you pulled it a bit closer to you. You pointed a finger at the sign behind you. 

“This is an exclusive club house, it’s difficult to get into. Security’s intense and everyone that enters has to sign in.” You informed the team. JJ reached out and grabbed the photo, putting it to the side for later.

You turned your attention back to the pile, making sure to give each photo a proper amount of attention, desperate to notice something useful. 

“This one,” you said, pulling a blurry photo of yourself out of the pile. You were moving too fast for the camera to properly capture you, but you recognized the outfit. “I was wearing this the day Officer Reynolds told me you all were coming, isn’t this the outside of the station?” You said quietly.

JJ moved that photo to the ‘save for later’ pile as well. You gently re-stacked the pile and passed it towards Emily, waiting for the next one. 

You watched as Emily seemed to be literally holding her tongue as she pushed the next pile towards you, a certain playful glint in her eyes. Once you were able to look at it, you couldn’t help but snort. You could feel Aaron tense up besides you, but you could find the humor in it. The ‘Aaron’ pile. 

You fanned the stack out like you had done with the others, giving special attention to the details behind you. These were much more difficult to place and a much smaller pile, considering how careful the two of you had been. 

“These must’ve been in DC?” You questioned, not really expecting an answer. You looked up towards Aaron, raising an eyebrow as if to give him the opportunity to share his thoughts. “Whenever he came to LA, I had an iron grip on our security but it was a whole different field in DC-” 

Your sentence fell flat as your eyes went wide, nearly surging out of your seat up towards Aaron. He gave you a worried look, unable to place the sudden anxiety that had taken over you. “What about Jack?” You asked worriedly, “if he knows about you he must’ve found out about Ja-”

Aaron stopped you, putting a very gentle hand on the top of your shoulder, “He’s okay, I promise.” He said, using his hand to lightly push you back into a seated position. You nodded at that, eyes still wide, but your body seemed to deflate, the tension slowly leaving you. 

The rest of the team was quiet, recognizing the personal nature of the interaction. But it was impossible for them not to notice the way your bodies reacted to each other. The way your body’s natural response to a stressor had been to move closer to him and the way he angled himself in a protective stance around you near simultaneously. 

Emily pushed the final pile in front of you and you couldn’t help the corners of your lips pull up in a soft smile. You fanned out the stack of photos, taking a good look at all of them. They all seemed to either be promo photos or film photos of your time filming Mamma Mia in Greece. 

“This is definitely from Greece. But some of these are definitely promo photos, it’s why I’m ‘posing’ in a few of them.” You said, pushing out one that visually made your point. 

“What about this one? It feels a lot more intimate than a promotional piece.” Emily asked, pulling one out from the stack. In it, you were standing on the dock, face close to the camera. You had a big smile on your face and your thumbs up. 

“On set, we had a handful of little disposable cameras that everyone could use.” 

“Do you have any memory of who owned the cameras?” 

“I…,” you paused, eyebrows scrunched tightly in thought, “I don’t know. The studio distributed all the photos after the movie came out. They’re pretty public at this point, it was five years ago.” You said weakly, feeling really disappointed in your lack of help. “I’m sorry.” You added. 

Morgan stepped up closer to the table. “Don’t be okay? Now we know that the unsub has connections in Hollywood and we know he must be wealthy enough to fly to DC on a whim if he thought you were there. That helps narrow things down.” He assured you. 

“Are there any specific photographers that you’ve noticed? Or any guy you feel like you’ve seen too many times and it’s no longer a coincidence?” Spencer asked. 

You shook your head quickly. “I’m really used to cameras flashing in my face.” You said impishly. “I can remember a lot of fans that I meet, but if it’s just someone behind a camera I don’t think I’d really notice it at all.” 

You felt Aaron move away from you and towards the computer at the end of the table. He clicked a few buttons and suddenly a woman's face popped up on the screen. You recognized her immediately from all the stories and photos you’d seen. Penelope. 

Aaron brought the computer closer to where you were and her mouth dropped open for the second time today. 

“Oh my god! Hi! Wow! I am, I am such a fan. I just-, you’re always so-” 

“Garcia.” Aaron interjected but you raised your hand at him, giving him a ‘shoo’ gesture. The rest of the team had to stifle their laughter. 

“Hi, Penelope right? I’ve heard so much about you.” You said sweetly, leaning a bit closer to the camera. 

“Wow! Okay, I can’t believe this is-” 

“Garcia, I need you to pull up visitor logs from a clubhouse that Y/N used to visit. I want you to cross reference it with other visitor logs of recent film sets she’s been on and her housing development. She’ll be able to give you a more comprehensive list.” Aaron interjected, and this time you let him. 

You turned back to the screen, giving Garcia another smile. “The clubhouse is called Royal Blue, the picture couldn’t have been more than…, I think three years ago? But I’m not sure.” 

“Alright…, okay the visitor logs seem to be locked tight, but never too tight for me. What are some of those movie sets?” 

“The earliest photo is what? Five years ago?” You asked, looking around at the agents for approval. “Yeah, five years. So Mamma Mia, to start, Little Women. I’m working on Emma right now.” You droned, listing various movie sets you’d worked on in the past five years. 

“Oh my god! I have so many questions about Mamma Mia. Like what was it-,” Garcia’s question trailed off as she caught sight of Hotch giving her a firm stare from behind you. “Right sorry, alright. I will break into the clubhouse and cross reference all of these lists to see if anyone comes up more than once. It was so nice meeting you, I hope we get to-. Alright, hanging up now!” Garcia said in a rushed voice. You watched her click a button on her end and the screen went black. 

You leaned back into your chair, staring up at the rest of the team . “So…,” you said, drawing out the word, “what now?” 

-----

“What are you doing?” Aaron’s asked, voice coming out from behind you. 

You comically froze, hand just short of picking your keys up from the table. You slowly turned to face him, straightening your tote bag over your shoulder. “Oh! There you are, I was just on my way to come find you.” You said lightly, trying to diffuse some of the tension in the room. Aaron didn’t say anything, waiting for you to go on. “Johnny and I have plans tonight.” You said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world  

On your part, you’d already forgotten about the whole ‘I’m on a date’ aspect on your earlier phone call with Aaron. In your mind, there wasn’t anything inherently suspicious about you going to spend time with him in the evening.

Aaron was viewing the entire situation in a very different light. When he had first come around the corner, he noticed how nice you looked. When the two of you had finally returned to your place you immediately went up to your room, disappearing for quite some time. He had originally thought maybe you were upset, the cognitive interview hadn’t revealed anything and even though he knew you didn’t really believe in their accuracy, he also knew how badly you wanted to be of ‘use’ for the case. 

In your time upstairs, you had changed your outfit and styled your hair just enough to give it that ‘unstyled-styled’ look. It’s not like you were glammed out or anything, the only reason you’d put on a nice outfit was on the off chance you were photographed- hopefully not by the unsub-, on your way into Johnny’s apartment. 

“And what is it that you’re supposed to be doing?” Aaron asked, trying to keep his voice as nonchalant as possible. 

“Um, nothing much,” You said with an awkward laugh, when he was still looking at you expectantly you tilted your head. “I’m supposed to go to his place and we’re gonna run lines for the scenes we’re filming this week.” You explained. 

“I can’t endorse you going out at night. Especially to someone’s home that we don’t have eyes on.” Aaron said firmly. 

You rolled your eyes at that, picking up your keys. “Johnny’s fine, he’s been in the same place as me when nearly all the bodies were discovered.” You argued, putting one hand on your hip. 

“With the recent development in the cases, I can’t let you do this.”

You started to walk towards him, intending to go around him. “Aaron-” 

His hand shot out and gently grabbed you by the arm, stopping you from getting past him. 

“Hey!-” 

“Please,” he said, staring you straight in the eyes. “Don’t go.” 

Your mouth fell open slightly in a mild form of shock. ‘We’re just running lines, I really need-” 

“I’ll do it with you.” Aaron interjected hurriedly. “We’ve done it before, I’m not too bad at it, huh?” He said teasingly. 

You pondered that for a minute. You and Aaron had run lines together plenty of times in the past, it was always something you got a kick out of, seeing Aaron try and morph into whatever character he was reading for. And while it wouldn’t be as productive as running them with your actual co-star, you reasoned it’d still be good enough. And as much as you hated to admit it, Aaron probably had a point about you not going out, especially in the evening.  

“Fine. I just need to go call Johnny and tell him something came up.” You huffed, pretending to be more annoyed than you were. 

“Here,” you said, reaching into your bag and pulling out your script, “I already have most of my lines memorized, I’ll just need you to fill in if I miss any. I have a pink sticky note denoting the scene we were going to start with. You’re reading as Knightely. I’ll meet you in the living room, alright?” You said, pushing the script into his hands as you walked around him towards the kitchen, pulling your phone out at the same time. 

----

“No, I’m just saying I think it’d be more believable or whatever if we did a few more like nonchalant meals before like, running errands together or something, ya know?” You said lazily into the phone, holding it between your ear and shoulder as you used your hands to mix up a drink for yourself. Out of the corner of your eye you caught sight of the Dalmore. You reached out with one hand and carefully pulled it down, still remembering exactly how Aaron liked to take a drink. 

“What meal really screams ‘we’re dating’? Dinner? That’s like the longest meal of the day, that’s gotta show some sort of commitment.” Johnny asked. 

“Hm…,” you droned, “well we just had a lunch. If we want to kick it into high gear, we should do breakfast. Perfect ‘just spent the night’ remedy.” You said with a snort. 

Aaron cleared his throat behind you and the sound made you jump. You pulled the phone away from your ear and saw you’d been blabbering for nearly half an hour. 

‘Oh. Sorry.’ You mouthed to Aaron, before pulling the phone back to your ear. “Hey Johnny gotta go, but we’ll figure it out later! Yeah…, for sure, bye!” You hung up and placed your phone on the counter. Then you grabbed the drink you had poured for him, holding it out. 

“It’s Dalmore.” You said plainly. 

“I’m working.” He responded. 

You rolled your eyes at that and held it out more aggressively. “Take it.” 

You watched happily as he begrudgingly took it out of your hand, though you knew it wasn’t too difficult for him. You picked up your own glass and tucked your phone into the waistband of your pants. “Ready? Sorry, got carried away.” 

While the two of you walked back into your living room, it was obvious something was bothering Aaron. You briefly wondered if something had developed in the case that he wasn’t telling you. 

‘What is it?” You asked. 

He looked down at you, confused. “What is what?” 

“Don’t play dumb, you have a tell.”  You explained, stopping to look up at him.  

“I do not have a tell.” Hotch replied annoyedly. 

“Yes you do.” 

“No, I don’t.” 

“If you want to be a baby about it, fine you don’t have a tell. Tell me what’s wrong anyway.�� 

“I’m trying to understand why you lied about not having a boyfriend nor seeing anyone recently. We’ll need to fully vet Johnny and look into his files, even if you don’t see it becoming serious.” Aaron near spat.

You snorted. “What do you mean lied?” 

“You very clearly told me you weren’t seeing anyone, yet today has proven those claims to be false.” 

“I know that sometimes, I like to be a huge pain but I’m serious, what are you talking about? I’m not seeing anyone.” 

“Your co-star, Johnny? You told me you were on a date with him today. I just heard you on the phone make plans to stay with him overnight. I saw the pictures of-” 

“Stop! Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually believed that.” You said, unable to hold back the laughter that bubbled out of you. 

“Believed it? You’re the only who told me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have assumed you read through the lines. Johnny and I have been going on publicity dates. We’re just friends.” 

“What were you supposed to be doing tonight then?” 

“We were legitimately going to run lines. Maybe get ice cream, we’re trying to determine the best ice cream in LA.” 

That’d explain the outfit, Aaron thought. 

“And the phone call I just heard?” 

“We were debating which meal screams ‘dating’. He thinks it’s dinner. I think it’s breakfast, ya know, cause it implies you spent the night.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me that, before.” 

“Don’t you remember when I had kinda the same thing with Timothee during Little Women? They made us hang out a bunch so the tabloids could just do their thing. I just assumed you’d fill in the blanks.” 

Aaron was staring at you as if you had two heads. It was almost like you could see the gears turning in that head of his. Internally, he was more than embarrassed for how upset he’d gotten over the idea of you with someone else. 

When it seemed that Aaron had nothing else to say, you started to walk again, not stopping until you were both back in your living room. You plopped down in ‘your spot’ on the couch, playfully patting the space a few cushions down that Aaron typically sat in. 

“Crack open that script, I hope you looked through it. If you’re making me stay home, you better be useful!” You said pleasantly, trying to change the atmosphere into something more playful. 

Aaron awkwardly sat himself down on the couch next to you, picking the script back up. As you watched him flip the script open and further acquaint himself with the lines you couldn’t help but feel a sharp pang in your chest. It was such an unavoidable reminder of the way the two of you used to run lines together when you were still dating. You had learned early on that Aaron best showed his affection through acts of service and he actually wasn’t that bad at delivering a line. Since the two of you were rarely together in person- it’s not like you’d let him waste a visit with you building a shelf or running an errand-, running lines with you was the easiest way for him to feel useful. 

-----

Four Years Ago

“Okay Jack, you ready?” You asked, smiling down at the young boy standing across from you. He was dressed up in his winter clothes, despite the blazing heat of the summer. You and Aaron had tried to talk him out of it, but he demanded it’d be the only way for him to fully get into character. And who were you two to deny him? The sweet boy nodded, barely being able to contain his excitement as he bounced up and down on his feet. 

“Alright, places everyone!” You yelled out, holding the diy paper clapperboard Jack had made for you. You held it out from your body and did a very exaggerated clapping motion. “Action!” You said, quickly throwing the clapperboard to the couch. 

“Carrots!” Jack said, his voice more than enthusiastic for the role. 

“Huh?” You said, heavily overselling your voice and reaction. Even with the one simple word, Jack was already in giggles, struggling to keep it together. 

He leaned in closer to you, standing up on his tiptoes. “Behind you!” 

“Oh! Right, excuse me.” You said, stepping to the side and gesturing to the ‘carrots’ behind you. 

You made your voice really low to play the next part. “Woh, a real howler in July, yea? Where ever could it be coming from?” You asked, placing your chin in between your thumb and pointer finger. 

Jack kept giggling at your ‘deep’ voice, he held his ‘script’ up to his face to read his next line. “The North Mountain.” 

You jokingly ran a hand in front of your face, signaling a character switch. “North Mountain.” You stage whispered. You ran your hand in front of your face again, going serious. “That’ll be forty.” You said, holding your hand out with a ‘gimme’ gesture. 

Jack smacked your hand gently to ‘give you’ the money. But after his face fell ever so slightly. “Can we skip to when Daddy gets to come in??” He asked, giving you those big eyes you couldn’t possibly say no to. 

You stood back, putting your weight on your back leg with one hand on your hip. “Hmm.., I think that could be arranged.” You reached over to grab the clapperboard. “Alright everyone! Back to places, but let’s start at ‘Hi everyone’, okay?” 

Jack nodded excitingly and turned back to where he knew Aaron was standing, partially hidden by the hallway. “Places daddy!” He urged, pointing to where he should come stand. 

Aaron came out from around the corner and you quickly covered your mouth with your hand, trying to hold in the laughter. Aaron had a big white hat on his head and had let Jack put a small orange dot on his nose. You and Jack had definitely double teamed poor Aaron, dragging him into your little ‘movie game’ as Jack liked to call it. The three of you had started doing this a few months ago, Jack loved ‘running lines’ with you and you were more than happy to oblige him. It had started when a sleepy Jack had stumbled into the living room one night when he couldn’t sleep and he saw you and Aaron running lines for one of your other movies. Jack had taken to it so much you ended up ‘hiring’ him to help you with your more child friendly roles. 

“Alright, alright. Quiet on set!” You said, making a big deal of you bringing your index finger up to your lips in a ‘shush’ motion. “Action!” 

“Hi everyone. I’m Olaf. And I like warm hugs.” Aaron recited robotically , very clear that he was reading directly from the paper. You smacked your hand back over your mouth, unable to control the giggles. Once you started laughing, Jack fell into his own fit of laughter; both of you fueled off the others amusement. 

Of course, when you finally pulled yourself back together, a quick look at the way Aaron was standing with fake annoyance across his face and his arms crossed tightly against his chest sent you back into fits of laughter. 

“Are you two done?” Aaron asked, no true malice in his voice. 

It was rare that the three of you all got to spend time together. He’d been wary of introducing you to Jack. It wasn’t really a ‘you’ thing, but it was more of how Jack would be able to deal with it. There were the typical worries, what if you and Jack didn’t get along? Or what if you two did get along really well but then you and Aaron broke up and it hurt him even further? While you never intended to try and replace his ‘mom’, you still worried that your chaotic schedule would somehow hurt him, skewing his perception of yet another ‘parental’ figure. Not to mention the issues with him being able to keep your identity and presence in his life a secret; he wouldn’t even be able to tell people like Uncle Rossi that his dad was seeing someone. 

But now, you’d been with Aaron for over two years. And Jack had known about you for about a year now. And everything had been going perfect. Jack was a stellar secret keeper, the unfortunate events of his childhood maturing him faster than any child deserved and he was able to fully understand the importance of the situation. The two of you had taken to each other quite quickly and every night the three of you would have a ‘bedtime’ call; even on the nights when Aaron was busy with a case you’d still call Jack on your own. You loved spoiling him with whatever hot new toy was popular among kids his age or getting him special early copies of movies before they came out. Aaron used to get on you about it, saying it wasn’t necessary, but you argued it was the most necessary thing in the world. 

And now here the three of you were. Nestled away in Aaron’s apartment in DC. You had just flown in after wrapping up a shoot abroad and were just in time for the start of summer. Even though your career was at a seemingly new high, you had managed to secure a relatively empty summer. After long consideration and planning you and Aaron decided it’d be a nice treat for Jack to go spend a month or so with you in LA. You’d consulted heavily with many of your friends who kept their children completely hidden from the spotlight and had hired an airtight security team to assist you the entire time. Aaron was supposed to come out when he could, but you were all aware of how turbulent his poor schedule could be. Schedule permitting, you all would spend the next three days at Aaron’s apartment before you and Jack took off. 

“Daddy! You sound like a robot.” Jack said, scolding Aaron. His voice brought you out of your thoughts and you looked down at him with a big smile. 

“Daddy’s just no good at this huh?” You asked, shaking your head. “He’s no match for our talent, Jack!” 

“This is really hot.” Jack said, holding up his arms. He must’ve been sweating his butt off in all those winter layers. 

“You’re kidding me! I wonder who could’ve seen that coming.” You said sarcastically, reaching over to pull off his big hat and zip down the first of multiple jackets he put on. “I’ve heard that ice cream cools you down…,” 

“Ice cream!’ Jack exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. He didn’t even look to his father for ‘permission’, knowing by now you had the most sway in the house. 

“Go put on some normal clothes okay? Wouldn’t be fun if you passed out in your ice cream bowl, huh?” You told him, ruffling his hair before he dipped under your arm, making a mad dash for his room. 

“He hasn’t even had lunch yet, you know that right?” Aaron asked, giving you a fake stern look as he walked over to where you were standing. 

You rolled your eyes at that, reaching up to snatch the white hat off his head, letting your arms fall loosely around his neck. “Does it upset you that I’m always the cool one?” You asked teasingly, reaching up on your tiptoes to press the gentlest kiss on his lips. 

He gave you one of his small smiles, reaching down to press a second kiss to your lips. “How was your flight in?” He asked, one of his hands wrapping protectively around your waist as the other one found its way by your hair, gently stroking down it the way you liked. 

You let your head relax against his touch and pretended to think for a moment. Instead of answering you reached up again, pressing your lips against his, pressing yourself closer to him. You both thought you could stay this way forever; it being the first time you saw each other, in person, in nearly two months. 

“Gross!” Jack’s voice seemingly cut through the two of you. Aaron was the one to pull away first, quietly laughing so only you could hear. 

“Later.” He promised in a whisper. 

You loosened your grip on him, turning to face Jack. “Oh Jack! Funny seeing you here, ice cream, right?” 

----- 

Present Day.

“Page 103, right?” He asked, skipping to the bright pink sticky note you had used as a place marker. 

You jolted out of your memories, feeling the heat rise up your neck as you prayed it wasn’t too obvious you had just completely zoned out. 

“Yep!” You squeaked out, “page 103, line 19, you start.” You said, waving your hands. 

“And I do envy him, Emma. In one respect he is the object of my enemy, you will not ask me why, you are, you are determined, I see, to have no curiosity but I cannot be wise-” He started, keeping his eyes near glued to the page. 

You frowned, shaking your head a bit. “Stand up.” You ordered, already getting to your feet. 

“Excuse me?” Aaron asked. 

“Stand up,” you repeated, motioning upwards with your palms. “This,” you said, motioning between the two of you, “doesn’t feel right if we’re seated, we’re supposed to move around in this scene, it’s supposed to be painful.” You explained. 

He slowly stood up, looking at you for permission to start again. 

“From where you left off, please.” 

“I must tell you, Emma, what you will not ask! Though I may wish it unsaid the next moment-” 

“So do not speak it.” You cut in. “If you wish to speak to me, as a friend or to ask my opinion as a friend I will hear whatever you like.”

“As a friend, Emma. That I fear is a word, tell me Emma. Have I no chance of ever succeeding?” He asked, looking up at you for further approval, you nodded and he continued. “My dearest Emma, my dearest, you will always be my dearest most beloved Emma, tell me at once. I cannot make speeches, if I, if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more-” 

“Let’s do a different part, yeah?” You interrupted, voice incredibly tight. You ducked from his gaze, reaching to bring your glass to your lips. 

“Isn’t this the scene you have to practice?” Aaron asked, raising his brow at you. 

“It doesn’t matter,” you replied, taking a long sip, “any practice as the character will be helpful.” 

“If this is the one that’s troubling you, we should go over it.” He pressed. 

“Page 56, start at line 9.” You ordered, throwing back the rest of your glass. “Read it over, I’ll be back.” 

Before you could fully turn to go and refill your glass, Aaron lunged forward and grabbed your arm, pulling you towards him. The sudden movement caused you to stumble, throwing your hands out to steady yourself against his chest. 

“You’ve been drinking a lot.” He stated, repositioning his grip on your arm. 

“Am I not allowed to have a drink or two in my own home?” You challenged. 

“What are you running away from?” Aaron asked, his voice so gentle it made your knees weak. 

“You.” You whispered, after a long pause. You looked up at him with sad eyes and only found confusion in his. “I can’t, I-, don’t you see how funny it is? Your character is desperate for mine to be with and my character is the one to deny yours.” 

Your confession pulled sharply on his heart. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything, not sure there were any words to appropriately apologize for how he had treated you. 

“Why didn’t you ever call?” You asked, voice so quiet he almost didn’t hear you. 

“I, I-” He stuttered, unable to think of an answer fast enough. 

“I waited for weeks,” you said, looking up at him with a look that nearly brought him to his knees. “I waited so long and you never called.” 

He brushed the hair out of your face, letting his hand fall gently against your cheek. His thumb caught a stray tear that had started to fall, softly brushing it away. “I don’t know.” He responded, his voice as quiet as your. “I don’t know, you didn’t deserve that.” 

You pressed your face into his hand, closing your eyes as you felt more tears managing to sneak past you. He was finally admitting words you had dreamed of hearing for years, but yet you were unable to find any joy in them. 

“You didn’t deserve that.” He repeated, sliding his hand towards the back of your head, pulling you firmly against his chest, while his other arm wrapped tightly around your waist. You let your body relax into his, slowly bringing your own arms up loosely around his neck. 

You felt him gently press the faintest of kisses to the top of your head. “I’m so sorry angel.” He mumbled into your hair. 

You pulled your head out from under him, looking up at him with big eyes. The two of you were silent, basking in each other's presence. Your eyes flickered down to his lips multiple times; something he duly picked up on. Just as you began to push up on your toes, nearly pressing your lips to his, eyes half closed in anticipation, his phone rang out. 

You froze, falling back onto your heels with a small sigh. “Answer it, I’m getting a refill.” You said, pulling yourself out of his grasp. He gave you an uncertain look, as if he wanted to pull you back in and ignore the call completely. 

You wagged a finger in front of him, shaking your head. In on fluid movement, you grabbed your glass and nearly ran out of the room

-----

It took you ten minutes to calm yourself down and another five to hype yourself up to return to your living room. And that was after you had made yourself a new drink. 

When you entered the living room, Aaron’s back was to you; still locked on the phone. The tension was clear in his shoulders and your eyes drifted down to his free hand that you knew would be clenched in a fist. It was. 

“Thank you Garcia, tell the team we’ll be there soon.” He said, pulling the phone away from his ear and hanging up. 

“Aaron?” You asked. 

He rolled his shoulders back, trying to loosen some of the tension from his shoulders for your benefit. He slowly turned back towards you, his face pulled in frustration. 

“LAPD just reported another body.”

-------

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no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own criminal minds or any of the character involved in it.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

HSMTMTS 2x8: the one I’ve been waiting for

Last week watching the new HSMTMTS was the last thing I did before going to bed (and let me tell you, I almost couldn’t sleep that night), but now I’m starting my day with it. I’m having trouble breathing just thinking about everything that could possibly lie ahead. I don’t think I’m ready, but I also can’t wait a second longer. So let’s dive right in!

Ahhh we got Big Red doing the recap! We’re off to a strong start, I see.

Ok, so I don’t know which is funnier (objectively): Reddy calling Antoine ‘Napoleon’ or the ‘zat man looks ridiculous’ line delivery -- I mean, I do not condone Antoine’s behaviour when he said that line, but ABF makes impertinence sound funny. Still, ‘Napoleon over here’ is my new favourite thing to call Antoine.

I am absolutely loving Miss Jenn in this scene (’when they go low, we sing high’, anyone), but why’s she threatening my Sebby? She has no right.

Ahhhhhhhh we’re getting the Gaston scene! I mean, of course I knew that, but I still don’t think I’m ready for the sheer awesomeness...

Ok, things are awkward between Ashlyn and her Biggie (see, I noticed she calls him that and that’s why I chose to call him Reddy instead)... hope they’ll be fine though. I know what they have is stronger than some so-called French bloke trying to come between them.

I... forgive me, I need to take 5... the Gaston number is a thousand times better with the choreography! Big Red performing his heart out, EJ making Gaston look effortless just like he did in the audition, juggling those eggs, and then the dancers... glorious, indeed.

‘Keep our heads down and our chins up’ ... and Seb trying to physically do it... adorable! But why is Miss Jenn being so harsh to him today? I don’t like that.

Ok, so I’m happy for Nini (or is it NIna?) and I’m happy for Olivia, but I just don’t seem to be able to get invested in her, either in the show or in real life. I don’t know why, but that’s just how I feel. To each their own, I always say.

EJ making the Career Day announcement in the middle of Ricky and Nini’s conversation is just... a choice. An interesting choice on the part of whoever wrote it.

Yikes, Ricky! What is it with guys and violating Nini’s phone’s privacy?

Ok, so I was an advocate for ‘EJ and Gina emphatically as friends’, but I think I’m sold on them romantically. It’s kind of hard for me here -- as an aro, I’m uncomfortable with the ‘everything evolves into romance and revolves around romance’ approach, but as an unapologetic shipper, I think this episode is going to shatter my heart and then heal it and then shatter it again.

‘How many of you are familiar with the phrase “Seize the day”?’ Um, yeah, I love Newsies! You know, for someone who has never seen it and has only heard a couple of songs from it... where was I?

Ooh, we’re getting Jennzara content! After all that ‘Zacky Roy’ action, I’m ready for this.

And here, Carlos struggling to make the part of Chip sound good just goes to prove that this part is too small for Sebby! You don’t just go from Sharpay to Chip like that. I mean, I kind of see it... Seb’s got a Chip-worthy smile; but at the end of the day, Chip hasn’t got a Seb-worthy song, nay, showstopping number.

I won’t lie, seeing Big Red give Ricky the treatment he’s been getting from him was low-key (high-key) satisfying. But I can’t even tell you why I’m suddenly starting to empathise with Ricky here. Still, Reddy is right - Ricky’s been here before. Or if I might quote Carlos here, ‘Is this Mamma Mia 2, cos here we go again!’

You know, Ashlyn is right. Ignore the test. Career tests are bull. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve got the most ridiculous results on these things... though I guess ‘mediator’ isn’t so far removed from ‘translator’, which is my dream job that I’m working towards. I guess career tests are like horoscopes and prophecies -- they’re not meant to be taken literally, but require reading between the lines.

‘I live to serve’ Oh Reddy, don’t be like that! I mean, I know working in the service industry is one thing and being a doormat is another, but right now it just kind of seems like he’s equating them in his mind and putting himself down because of it, and he’s being outwardly cheerful for the benefit of others. Maybe it’s not just Ricky who needs therapy, and Reddy definitely needs a LeFou of his own, to cheer him up and lift his spirits, and remind him how brilliant he is.

You know, I think both Kourtney and Howie make some valid points here... but I’m afraid I’m with Kourtney on this one. It’s difficult to trust someone if you find out there’s a whole side of them you didn’t know.

Gosh, I’m so done with Rini. Even Carlos has an inside voice compared to what these two are demonstrating right now. How ‘main character syndrome’ of them is it to make a scene in the middle of the Slices?

Ohhhhh, Paris... gosh, why does everyone keep saying the wrong things with the best intentions in this episode? It’s frustrating.

Awwww, I can’t with these two! ‘The only other thing that makes me happy is you.’ But then he’s like ‘maybe it’s not enough’, and I just got a flashback of how he once told her ‘you are enough’... so I say, so are you, Reddy! You are enough, and Ash is just trying to do the best for you, but she’s kind of missing the point... but you are enough. And she knows it.

Awwww! S1 Mr Mazzara would never have. But I love this new version of him.

Ohh, the Duke talk! Ok, I don’t know how to feel about these two. I just want them to be close, always.

Is it just me, or does Sofia’s acting in this scene give off Cyrus’ coming out scene vibes?

And here we go again with the flashbacks. Nini and Ricky in the treehouse remind me how I felt during the ‘I love you’ scene last season... except this one is not the start of something new (as on-the-nose as that sounds), it’s the end of something old. It’s heartbreaking, but I think it’s necessary. And I think they both know it. If it’s meant to be, they’ll find their way back to each other -- when they’re both more mature. They need to grow separately for the time being.

Oh my, oh my! It’s the ‘If I Can’t Love Her’ scene, and it hits even harder than it might have, because this is actually the first time I’m ever hearing this song. Fan of BATB as I am, I am just not familiar with the stage version of it and so there are some songs I just have never heard. But they hit hard. 

Aww, Ashlyn with the Slices shirt! And EJ declining Duke after that was the only future he could see for himself... And Big Red being the absolute best, most supportive friend always and forever, whatever is going on in his own life... if I had a friend like him, I’d never let them go. And I’d never let them forget how amazing they are.

Ok, but I’m crying... I have been since the song started, and I think I will be for a long time after it’s ended... this episode really did break my heart. But it healed it, too. How weird is that? This was a ride. Enough to last me the week, I hope.

[carnelianns]

(Ikesen and Ikevamp) Sorry if this has been asked before. But how about an MC who went back to her own time only to find out she was pregnant. How would the boys reaxt if she comes back somehow a few years later but with a young child she says is theirs.

im sorry for keeping u waiting this long anon huhu,, i only did the vamps but, if my askbox allows, i’ll come back to do the sen boys too ! i didn’t have a specific gender for their children so jus imagine the lil rascal any way u want

Napoleon Bonaparte

When you come back through that door with a fascinated child holding your hand, it’s him you meet first again, and the tears are already glossing his eyes over before you can say anything.

He literally has no words when you smile gently, saying it’s his. Napoleon swallows the bump in his throat before making his way to the both of you, holding the two of you in his arms for only god knows how long.

“I.. can’t wait to live my life with you both, nununche,” he mumbles into your hair, ears slightly tinged, only causing you to laugh at his adorable antics.

As a father, he isn’t very strict, and he isn’t all that good in child-rearing, either. But he tries — you have to keep reminding yourself of this when you catch them in a compromising position, usually when you see your child holding a foil with a goofy smile.

“Nunuche.. I can explain,” Napoleon says calmly when you first find the two of them — well, three; it seems Jean was in on this little practice, though he quickly bolted when he saw you — parading around the training room with the foils.

“Mamma, papa said he was the King! He teached me how to be King!” Your child exclaims, flailing the weapon around excitedly as your gaze only darkens.

“Well, you see, I meant emperor, but—” his words die down when he sees your unimpressed face practically dripping with the murderous intent he’s so used to fighting against on the battle field

Slowly kneeling down to meet your child’s eyes, you see him whispering something incoherent before the little one nods seriously, slowly putting down the foil.

Then, as if counting down ‘3, 2, 1′, Napoleon immediately hoists your child up in his arms, running out of the room as both his laughter and your child’s squeals echo throughout the halls.

“Napoleone di Buonaparte, get your ass back here right now!” You scream, running after them.

“3, 2, 1 — Vive L’Empereur!” The two of them scream back, before bursting into laughter. They’re always in sync. It’s exasperating.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

“That child is.. mine?” He asks, slightly jaw-slacked, pointing at the child that undeniably looks like him, if the identical beauty mark or violet eyes are anything to go by.

“Do you.. not want—”

“I never said that,” he instantly cuts you off, going over to kneel at the confused child. With a slight smile, in an attempt to hold his tears back, he manages, “So.. how was spending time with that clumsy mother of yours?”

Mozart doesn’t really know how to spend time with his child, though he’s clearly not opposed to carrying the little rascal around on his shoulders, or dragging the child clinging onto his leg around when stubbornness bites.

You often don’t know what he’s thinking whenever he spends time with your child, or the whole situation, but rest assured, he wouldn’t change it for the world, despite how he may look.

A clear example of this is when you once walked into the piano room only to see your little darling on top of the grand white piano itself, snoozing on top of a small comforter whilst your lover plays the soft tunes you’ve grown to love.

Shock holds you captive as you stare at the lovely sight, before finally trailing off, “Mozart..”

Without so much as glancing at you, he replies, voice hushed in a soft tone you don’t hear so often. The blissful smile on his face speaks thousands of words.

“I thought you were the only one foolish enough to let your guard down in front of me… It seems I was wrong.”

Leonardo da Vinci

He had an inkling the moment he saw the child sporting caramel eyes so similar to his own, tawny gaze regarding the large mansion with wonder.

And when you did reveal that the child is actually his, he only pulled you close to his chest, hoisting the little one up with his other arm.

“Papa has a lot of time to make up to you, doesn’t he?”

Leonardo is good with children, if it isn’t obvious. Not in your conventional dad way wherein he brings the child to school — in fact, he probably fell asleep in the hallway just when the two were about to leave — but he's awfully good at keeping his child entertained.

Running around the mansions, creating new inventions, learning a new language — sometimes, you have to remind yourself that this child’s father is literally Leonardo da Vinci.

A position you often see them in, however, is snoozing on the floor, probably near the library, your child a small ball curled into Leonardo’s arms and head in the crook of his neck.

“Again? Really?” You can only huff, though that doesn’t stop the small smile from spreading on your face as you brush the locks of hair out of your lover’s face.

“Cara mia,” he rasps out, cracking a bleary eye open and gripping your wrist softly. Then, he smiles, all sorts of soft and lovely and.. unguarded.

“You two.. are the best things that have happened to me.”

Arthur Conan Doyle

Arthur tries swallowing back the lump in his throat when he sees you standing in front of that damned door, though to no avail as a tear slips.

He starts full-on crying when you say that you’re back for good and that the child is his, and he’ll have to be comforted by yours and your child’s tiny arms before he even plans to stop.

“Ah, crying like that on our first meeting… Don’t you think your fath — I’m a bit embarrassing?” He asks, sniffling as he musters a smile.

Your child giggles, blue eyes crinkling. “No! Mommy told me a whooooole lot about you, daddy!”

He has to stop himself from sobbing again.

Arthur wastes no time in making up for what he’s missed, and every single day is one you’d find the two of them either in town or messing about at home.

If not, then they’re probably just chilling in the comforts of his room, doing god knows what. The day you peek in to see what exactly they were up to was a blessed day.

Maneuvering yourself in a way that lets you see through the tiny crack of the open door, your jaw drops at the adorable sight of your child in a tiny deerstalker and trench coat far too big for his form, Arthur nodding with a serious look on his face.

“So, Watson, do you think crepes make mummy happier?” Your child asks, holding his magnifying glass up — one you’re sure is from Leonardo — like a mic in front of Arthur’s face.

He strokes his chin for a moment, before answering, “Seeing her reaction when we gave her the ones we bought yesterday, I deduce they do, Sherlock.”

“Good dedoo – deduck – deduction, Watson! I thought so too.”

Your heart literally melts. The two are far too cute for you, you having to calm yourself before walking in with the widest smile on your face. Dorks. 

Vincent van Gogh

When you meet those familiar, cerulean eyes from your place in front of the door, they’re already glossy in seconds, a flurry of emotions clear on Vincent’s face, though his smile says it all.

“Is it too much to say I’ve been waiting for you this whole time?”

Vincent would be practically wallowing in regret that he wasn’t able to be a part of his child’s life for the first few years, leading him to do any and everything that will cause his child to smile. In simpler terms, he’s basically wrapped around the little one’s finger.

He’s so adorable and happy that he’s blessed with your lovely child, and there’s an immediate smile on his face when he so much as thinks about the little blondie.

He literally makes the other residents question whether or not they want a child too.

Their bonding time is painting and, more often than not, it ends up with all three of you cramped in the shower, scrubbing furiously at the sticky paint on their skin.

“I’m sorry for having you do this all the time,” Vincent’s soft voice only makes you sigh in relaxation as he massages your shoulders from behind you, causing your fingers to halt in their journey of rubbing some blue paint off your child.

“It’ll take more than that if you wanna make it up to me,” you hum, leaning back into his chest and looking up into his bright eyes.

Your lips were just about to meet, when —

“Mam, I’m not clean yet!”

You groan, Vincent only laughing as you meet the crossed arms of your child pouting child.

“Don’t give your mammie too much of a hard time, okay?” He never forgets to take care of you above all, of course.

Theodorus van Gogh

When he first sees you after years with a child, his child, grasping your hand, Theo has to literally disappear to cool his head off because he’s angry.

Not at you, no, never, but at himself. That he wasn’t there for his child, for you, and god, even if he were, would he have been a good father?

“Hon — Schatje,” he starts, running his fingers through his already messy hair and staring at you with eyes that practically bleed insecurity, his voice breaking. “How am I supposed to take care of a child when I couldn’t even take care of you?”

After many reassuring words and gentle touches, Theo’s finally okay, holding up and scrutinising your child much like how he does a painting. He’s, well, awkward.

Theo is surprisingly very gentle with your child because he honestly doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing.

He’s also very grounded and doesn’t fall for cute little tricks that much either, so out of the residents, he’d be one of the better fathers.

“Nee.” “Papje, pleaaase?” “No. Non. Nee.”

Your lover’s fixed refusal causes you to peek your head into a lovely picture. Theo was holding a chocolate bar high above his head, steely gaze fixed on your young child with his puppy dog eyes in full view.

“Je mama said no chocolate, right?” Your heart warms when you realise he remembered your scoldings, though you can’t help but to feel bad for your whining baby.

“Theo,” you say, both their heads turning towards you. “How about you give the little baby some chocolate and we all enjoy some pancakes, yeah?”

The way both their eyes shine almost identically is adorable.

Dazai Osamu

When you showed up again with the child in hand, one he knows is his, his first thought, first wish, is that for that tiny thing to not be his. Because no one knows how harsh this world is more than the man who wished to end it all, so much more than once.

But Dazai makes up his mind when he sees you and your — his child staring up at him with those eyes that look so much like your own. He makes up his mind, despite his own continuous suffering, that he’ll never let this child go through what he had to.

“Was I staring too much?” He smiles, slightly sad and, well, empty. “I suppose it’s because the little one looks far too much like you.” Bright. Too bright for me.

As a father, he’s surprisingly really good with children? He quite enjoys seeing your child smile more than anything, and one way he knows how to do so is by perching the little one on his shoulders, running around the mansion as his hands intertwine with small, tiny fingers.

You don’t know whether to yell at him and his close-eyed grin, or simply laugh at the resonating giggles of your child. Probably both as you chase the two down the halls.

Dazai often zones out whenever he’s playing with your child, a look you can only describe as pure bliss on those handsome features of his. As you stare up at him, confusion clear on your features, you ask, “Hey, Dazai, why do you.. Zone out so much? Whenever you’re with, you know,” you motion to the snoozing one in between the both of you.

“Why do I zone out, you ask?” He gives you a smile, a real one this time, and gently pokes at the little ones cheeks. “I think.. I’ve found a wonderful reason to live, is all.”

Isaac Newton

“That’s… mine??” “That?” “... It?” “It?” “The.. child?”

Isaac is very flustered, for lack of better terms. He can barely manage the children he and Napoleon go see intermittently, but his own child? Lord, help him.

He gets awfully flushed whenever he’s carrying his child around the mansion because even then, he isn’t spared by Arthur and Dazai’s teasing remarks — in fact, it only seems to have gotten worse.

Isaac is surprisingly good at getting your rascal child to sleep with his bedtime stories, which are usually all his unsaid rambles.

“And did daddy get that bruise on his forehead because he slipped while chasing Uncle Dazai and Uncle Arthur?”

Your child nods, bright eyes sparkling and toothy grin showing. “Daddy also said, ‘Get back here, you devilish imbeciles!’”

Your accusatory gaze turns towards Isaac, who averts his eyes, holding an ice pack to his bruising forehead.

“I-In my defense, they were—”

“One more time, Isaac, and I’m changing this baby’s legal godfathers to the two imbeciles you love so much.”

Gaping, his eyes widen to the size of saucers, “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

He is now a grumbling mess when the two are around his child, but the lack of chasing them around with a stick in hand can be counted as an upgrade.

Jean d’Arc

When you walk through that door once more, nervously telling your lover that this child is his, you’re afraid of his reaction — after all, Jean is, despite his vampiric aging, barely an adult himself.

His jaw drops and he can’t stop staring at you nor the child with his inky locks, and you have to help him sit and calm down.

“Papa?” Your child asks, staring up at the still slightly panicked Jean as you hold your breath.

He stares for a moment, mouth wide, before finally, finally smiling, albeit a little awkward and rough around the edges. “Yes, little one?”

He’s extremely unaccustomed to this whole parent thing and can barely do anything without asking you first, so he feels bad quite often for having to lean on you so much.

Although he barely knows how to handle a sobbing child, nor can he entertain the child very well, you find that the both of them are quite content in each other’s presence as is.

Jean, well, looks ethereal as the sun shines through the windows in his room, a gentle smile gracing his face as he stares at his sleeping child.

He utters your name, causing you to look up, only to find him tracing circles around your child’s soft skin.

“Is this.. how it’s like to be happy?”

William Shakespeare

When Shakespeare wakes up to the news that you are, in fact, back at the mansion with a little surprise, he’s already there in no time.

He didn’t expect the little surprise to be a little child that’s practically an identical copy of him. But he’s always been more of a shoot first, ask questions later type of guy, so he immediately whisks you off to his manor, much to the exasperation of the residents who were surprisingly enjoying their time with the little Shakespeare lookalike.

Except he doesn’t really need to ask questions, because he’s already figured everything out through your soft, slightly nervous gaze, and your lovely little mannerisms.

“Alas, it seems the Heavens were kind enough to grant my wish,” he says as he stares at your child, only smiling to meet your confused gaze. “For I only wished you weren’t too lonely without my presence.”

William is always with his child, whatever the circumstances. Though he quite enjoys showing off his child, he’s also keen on spending his every waking second with the little tyke because he knows how it feels like to grow up lonely, and he wouldn't bestow that upon his own little one.

“Darling, it appears I has’t gotten myself into a slight predicament.”

If you could, you would have snapped a picture of your smiling lover practically itching to get up, yet unable to do so due to the sleeping child in his lap.

“And how did you get yourself into this predicament, my love?” You tease, your own smile on your face. He has a habit of reading his writings aloud, and it seems the little one fell asleep to William’s gentle voice.

“My works seem to be but a mere bedtime story to this little one,” he motions to the child, his smile softening. “I wonder why it does not dishearten me.”

Comte de Saint-Germain

“I was hoping you’d be back, ma chérie.” His perfunctory smile betrays the inner flurry of emotions inside him as he glances towards the child. “With a lovely little thing in hand.”

“Your lovely little thing,” you say gently, and the surprise outlining his normally composed face is something you’d forever save in your mind.

Comte is wrapped around the little one’s finger, his rotten spoiling being the effect of not being in your child’s life for a good while, and, of course, his indispensable regret for having you come back to him.

Many times have you asked Sebastian the whereabouts of your lover and your child, only for him to give you the look, responding that they were out yet again, and are probably not coming back without a few shopping bags in hand.

Then, to finally put a stop to it all, you decided to conduct a harmless experiment.

Placing a few coins on one side of his desk, a toy in the middle, and a beloved fruit on the side. After explaining to him that it’s to see what your child’s fate would be — picking between fortune, fun, and, well, snacks, you think — he simply leans back, interest shining in those eyes of his.

Unsurprisingly for you, your child pushes all these away in a second, opting to hug the wide-eyed man on the soft armchair behind the desk.

“And what.. does this mean, ma chérie?” He asks, honest-to-god confused as his hands slowly wrap around your child’s form.

You smile softly, “Isn’t it obvious, silly? The little rascal loves you more than anything.”

His eyes are suspiciously glossy before he laughs it off, preparing for yet another shopping spree — you regret everything.

Sebastian

He only gives you a knowing smile when you pass through the door with a young child gripping your hand.

“So.. this is the little one, is it?” He asks, tone soft as he walks towards you, wrapping a sturdy arm around your waist and meeting eyes with his child. “I’m a strict father, mind you.”

“Sebastian!” “I was joking. Slightly.”

Despite being a father, Sebastian is as strict and precise as ever around the mansion, rarely having to leave either his work or his family unattended due to his impeccable time management skills.

And if he struggles with both, well, he just has to merge them into one task, doesn’t he? Many are the times wherein the residents catch Sebastian working, his little runt on his tail or on his hip.

“They’re at it again, you know,” Mozart says in passing, only causing you to groan.

“Sebastian! How many times have I told you not in the kitchen?” You exclaim, walking into the kitchen to find your lover and your child tackling yet another chore together.

It seemed to be baking this time, if the flour on both of their faces says anything.

“Mama!” Your child exclaims with powdered hands as Sebastian says blankly, “We’re doing chores.”

You merely roll your eyes, sighing as you walk out the room. Your apology comes later when a sloppy cupcake makes its way into your view.

Your eyes move up to your proud looking child, hair obviously patted down in an attempt to look presentable while your lover sports a tiny grin on his own face.

“We made this for you, mom! Papa said he wanted to make you reaaaally happy.”

Sebastian’s head instantly snaps down, eyes narrowing, “Hey.”

You can only laugh at your two babies, taking a bite of the surprisingly good and sweeter than an average cupcake.

[onewithnomightypowers]

clandestine (chapter 4)

PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Y/N is an up and coming actress, married to a once hotshot actor, Harrison (Haz). What happens when her co-star, Tom, makes her realise that she is stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage starts crumbling and a new romance stars brewing.

chapter 4: darling can’t you hear me?

A/N: i do not encourage cheating. this chapter is musically driven so i would recommend listening to ‘hit me baby one more time’ by britney spears, ‘sos’ by abba and ‘end game’ by taylor swift, while reading the chapter. also there is slight smut in here. i hope you guys like this chapter!! feedback is always appreciated.

warnings: smoking, drinking, slight smut, cursing

word count: 1.6k

important: bold and italic are character thoughts

main masterlist   series masterlist   chapter 3   chapter 5

Tom and Y/N had been individually invited to their common friend Lily’s house warming party. They, however, decided to go together as friends.

Most of the people Y/N knew in London were all in the same circle and were all present at Lily’s. Lily was a smart woman and a social butterfly, but she was not the smartest when it came to befriending real and trustworthy people.

The house was packed with people. Everyone was taking a swing at the karaoke machine attached to the TV in the living room.

Y/N and Tom made their way to the kitchen where all the drinks were.

“Remember, you’re driving us home.” Y/N said, snatching the beer from Tom’s hand.

“Why can’t you drive?” Y/N chugged the whole beer at once.

“Oops”, she said, wiping her mouth from the back of her palm.

They both diverted to their separate ways, trying not to confirm the obvious. They were the talk of the town, or the party in this case. They were knee deep in rumours. Everyone had been gossiping about something they had heard from a friend of a friend.

Rumours spread like wildfire and in their case, most of the rumours were true. But the biggest red herring of the town was that Haz and Y/N were separated and were on the verge of filing divorce, and Y/N was getting the heat of it.

Those who were sober enough to sustain a conversation, came up to her and asked her the exact same question.

“So what is up with Haz? How is he? Haven’t seen him around in such a long time”, asked a girl, whose name Y/N couldn’t remember.

She was clearly out for ‘the scoop’ everyone else was.

“Oh he’s nice, he’s actually coming to London next week”, this was the thirteenth time Y/N had repeated that sentence tonight.

“So will he be accompanying you to the premier?”

What is she, a tabloid journalist?

“I don’t know actually, we haven’t talked about that”

---

Tom hated parties, he preferred intimate gatherings, where people would have meaningful conversations instead of the shallow small talk. He was an ‘intellectual’ in that sense, as Y/N had pointed out. He was insufferable since he couldn’t drink as he had to drive Y/N home, and she was nowhere to be found. He found himself entering the bathroom in Lily’s room to escape. Little did he know, Y/N felt the same way. He entered the bathroom to a modern masterpiece.

Y/N was sitting inside the bathtub with her legs hanging out of it. Her white wine glass was to her left, next to a Marlboro box with a lighter poking out it. The shower curtains were pushed to the right side of the tub.

She had a cigarette in her left hand and her phone in her right. He could only assume that she was playing candy crush like the middle aged woman she was. He couldn’t help but take a picture.

Y/N didn’t notice him until she heard the sound of the phone camera.

“I see you lasted an hour out there”, she said, ashing her cigarette on the box.

“Which is more than you”, he sat on the edge of the tub.

“Ugh, I couldn’t take their questions about Haz anymore, like seriously why do they all need to ask me the exact same question individually, I should literally just announce my life’s status with a fucking lou-“, Y/N was interrupted by Tom’s sloppy kiss.

She tastes like wine

He found himself on Y/N's lap and started kissing down her neck. She smelled like her Gucci Bloom perfume mixed with alcohol and smoke. Tom made it to her breasts and started sucking them, in an attempt to leave his mark on her.

There was a knock on the door. “Go away”, Y/N screamed, between small, light moans. “Um, okay”, the person said from behind the door. Y/N moved her hand to the rim of Tom’s shirt and started to pull it up, accidently toppling the wine glass next to her, spilling wine in the bathtub.

Tom broke away to see what had happened. “You’re a mess, darling”, he continued kissing her. “But I’m the mess you love”. Both of them were so intoxicated at the moment, they ignored the use of the word ‘love’. It was something which neither of them had said out loud before, but felt deeply.

“We should go, they will think we are canoodling together”, Tom said.

“But we are canoodling together”

“Yeah but still”

“Fine, but you owe me one”, Y/N said in frustration.

Tom got up from her lap, Y/N stuffed her phone and the cigarette box in her pocket.

“What are we going to do about that?” Tom pointed at the wine glass on the bed of the tub.

“Its white wine so it wouldn’t stain and we were never here”

Y/N opened the door and merged into the sea of people, leaving Tom behind.

---

She found herself in an utterly boring conversation with Lily and her ‘girl squad’. They were talking about the latest Dior makeup line.

How can someone talk about makeup while drunk?

She noticed that Alan was done with his powerful performance of ‘hit me baby one more time’. “Who is next?” he asked the crowd, raising the microphone. Y/N found an opening to escape the conversation. “Me!” she got up, grabbed the mic and climbed the wooden coffee table.

“Who wants to recreate the ‘SOS’ scene with me from ‘Mamma Mia’? Of course I’ll be Pierce Brosnan” she screamed into the mic.

“I’ll be your Meryl Streep”, Tom walked over to the karaoke machine to take the spare mic.

Y/N turned on the music, “I want everyone to sing the chorus with us”

“Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find, I try to reach for you but you have closed your mind”, Y/N stepped off the table and started to walk towards Tom, never losing eye contact with him.

“Whatever happened to our love? I wish I understood, it used to be so nice, it used to be so good”, Tom turned his back to her just like Meryl Streep in the movie.

“So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me, S.O.S. The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S”, everyone sang this part excluding Tom.

“When you're gone, how can I even try to go on? When you're gone, though I try, how can I carry on?” Y/N sang this part alone. Tom turned slightly to look at Y/N, he could see it in her eyes that she meant every bit of what she was singing.

“You seemed so far away, though you were standing near. You made me feel alive but something died, I fear”. It was Tom’s time to shine. He noticed that almost everyone in their audience had pulled out their phones to record it.

“I really tried to make it up, I wish I understood. What happened to our love, it used to be so good”, Tom tried his best to overact.

“So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me, S.O.S. The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S.” they all sang it, together, on top of their lungs.

Tom and Y/N were, now, standing back to back.

“When you're gone, how can I even try to go on?” Y/N repeated the lines after Tom.

“When you're gone, though I try, how can I carry on?” they held each other’s free hand in a way no one could see it.

The music stopped playing, they turned to look at each other. “Now don’t expect me to do the dirty dancing lift with you, I don’t want to break my back”, Y/N spoke into the mic. The whole room burst into laughter.

---

They were on their way to Y/N’s Camden apartment, their home for the time being. Tom was driving and the local radio was playing at a low volume. Y/N was looking out the window, it was past midnight, and the streets were stranded.

“And now, ‘End Game’ by Taylor Swift”, the radio jockey said.

Y/N was not paying attention to whatever was playing but Tom was. He turned up the volume for her, knowing her, he knew that she wouldn’t want to miss it. Y/N finally noticed the chorus and got excited. She looked over at Tom, giving him a glance that said ‘you know me so well’. He noted the glance, grabbed her right hand delicately and pulled it up to his mouth to give it a kiss.

She took her hand back to increase the volume even more. They had stopped at a red light.

“I hit you like bang”, Y/N sang along, making a ‘bomb blasting’ gesture.

“We tried to forget it but we just couldn’t, and I buried deep hatchets but I keep maps to where I put ‘em”

“Reputation precedes me, they told you I’m crazy” Tom also sang with her.

“I swear I don’t love the drama”, he let her sing this part alone.

“It loves me” she bopped Tom’s nose, scrunching her face.

I love her so much

“I love you so much”, he said.

She looked up, grinning like a devil, saying nothing.

Shit did I say it too soon? Yeah it’s too soon, she’s going to fucking leave me now

“Is it cool that I said that?” he was confused by her silence. The light had turned green and the cars behind them were honking, but his eyes were stuck on her beautiful devilish face.

Just before he turned his wild eyes on the road, she said it.

“I love you too, Tom.”

@mysticapples17​

[danddymaro]

Bruno Finding Out About A Secret Child With The Reader

Reader insert // Your name // (Y/n)

Daughter’s name // (D/n)

Thoughts are italics in quotations = ‘Example’

Flashbacks are in italics = Example

Word Count : 1335

After Part 5 // Family means so much to him.

Bruno Finding Out About A Secret Child With The Reader

His sapphire-colored orbs stayed on the small child, observing her keenly.

She was small and stubby, her softly tanned cheeks stained with warm color as her blue eyes stayed open wide with fright as she shuffled further from the packed sidewalk, backing the furthest she could to get closer to the nearest building’s wall.

He'd noticed she was alone, and he could only assume she'd been struck by bad luck, and that alone was all the reason he needed to stay, because he couldn't go about his day as he regularly did when he knew she would be left alone and frightened.

He couldn't when he knew that out there, the little girl was ultimately left at the mercy of the world.

At the thought, his heart tightened, and during then, all he had in mind was to comfort the child, making sure she was alright and out of harm’s way.

Kneeling to her, he offered her a gentle smile, his head cocking to the side slightly as he offered her his hand, “Are you alright?" He asked her, the question making her quiet sniffles cease for just a moment as she looked up at him, glossy, blue eyes gleaming up at him with an immense innocence that practically sucker-punched him.

Shaking her head, she retreated, her two hands pressed to her chest as she pressed her lips together tightly, refusing to speak or take his hand altogether.

His eyebrows knitted up with worry and confusion before he understood, nodding slowly,

“I see,” he muttered to himself, " You've been told not to speak with strangers, am I right?" He asked her, chuckling at her determination, finding it cute that she had enough in her to hold even her cries while at the face of a stranger.

Backing off by three slow steps, he nodded again, “Very well, but seeing as you’re alone I can only assume you’ve lost your parent, correct?” he asked, receiving a somber nod from the child that confirmed his suspicions.

“I figured that much,” he murmured with a halfhearted smile, “So how about I wait with you here,” he offered, staying the same distance away from her. “That way, we can both wait for your parent. I can make sure you stay safe until they find their way to you... all without you having to pay me any mind, deal?” He offered, showing her a warm smile.

“That way you won’t be lonely,” He said while bargaining with her.

She seemed uncertain at first before she nodded hastily, not wanting to be left alone yet again. And though he was a stranger to her, she felt an odd warmth for him, truly trusting him, believing his every word to be filled with nothing but good intent.

So, she waited with him, her heart growing anxious as she felt that perhaps, she might never get to see her loving mother ever again,

“Mamma…” She said softly, wiping her tears back as she tried to watch for familiar (long/short) strands of (h/c).

It was the one thing about her mother she loved the most, because the sweet-smelling hair was what she would so often hide into while she was being carried.

Minutes passed, all which felt like a lifetime before she heard a familiar voice cry out her name, sounding just as frantic as she had felt during the whole ordeal,

“(d/n)?! (d/n?!)” the woman repeated, again and again.

“Mamma!” (d/n) said aloud, bouncing right into awaiting arms as her mother scooped her up, tightly pressing her close to her body, her little head immediately falling into the scent of her parent’s regular shampoo.

"Mia Cara," (f/n) muttered softly, " You had me worried sick," she said tearing, having thought the worst.

The entire time her heart had raced, her mind blurry with the speed it tried to run with as it thought of just about every corner of the city she could search for her missing child.

“Mamma, there was a man here,” Her daughter said with certainty, pointing her little finger to where Bruno had waited with her, now finding it suddenly empty.

Her little smile slowly dropped, as confused, she looked around, actually saddened by his abrupt leave.

All the while, Bruno stared at her wide-eyed, his breath halted as he gawked at the woman like he'd seen a ghost. It took him a moment to truly let the realization he’d come to fall upon him, but when it did he took action and hid away.

Bruno lurked, watching with widened eyes as the young girl, who he now realized seemed too familiar to him, searched for him,

“Where did he go...?” She muttered softly, full of disappointment.

‘- How could I not see it before?’ He asked himself, feeling utterly foolish for not recognizing her sooner.

She shared the same eyes as his mother had, the same ones which had been passed down to him as well, a striking feature that should have been familiar to him from the get-go.

Her skin was also touched by a soft tan, nearly the same as his as well, just a shade darker, something he could only assume came from enjoying the warmth of the sun as she played outside.

furthermore, her hair was also the same dark ink as his, glowing a soft shine of blue as the light touched it perfectly, flowing pin straight down her back.

"She's been hidden… with my child nonetheless," he said to himself, feeling his stomach sink at the awareness that had he not been there, his innocent little girl would have fallen into the wrong hands,

' Much more…If someone were to know... they would have taken her and hurt her, all because of me...' He brooded, remembering the last time he'd seen the woman,

———————————————————————

“It’s a dangerous life,” She said to him, “...One I’m certain you have no intention to detach yourself from,” she said with the same soft, saddened tone as he silently listened on.

Somehow, he knew what was coming, and he had anticipated it.

After all, he understood why she wouldn’t have wanted to stay with him after she’d been put at risk.

During the time they searched for their boss, she'd become a target as well, forced to hide after she'd been attacked by the same gang he’d once sworn loyalty to.

All in all, he couldn't blame her for wanting to draw back from him, because she was just a normal woman, one who wasn’t a part of the same world he was, but had unfortunately been sucked into his chaos.

- All because they had shared the same little, fluttering feeling.

She hadn’t known what his profession was from the start, because if she had she would have never even smiled back at him.

She wouldn't have had the same willingness to giggle at his little greeting every time he visited the small shop she worked at either. And much more, she would have never fallen in love with him, nor given herself to him the way she did.

"I'm sorry," She said to him, swallowing down hard as she turned from him, and he too apologized, his voice soft and frail as he let her walk away, ultimately convincing himself that it was best to just let her go back to her normal life while he fell back into the same underground he worked in.

———————————————————————

He wanted to say so much to her, plenty of which was in regards to the little cherub-faced angel that clung to her neck, but silently, he slipped away from her, choosing to let her continue to live her tranquil life instead.

As much as it hurt him to see them walk further from him, he knew it was best, accepting that even while he could give them both all of his heart in its entirely, it meant nothing if every other day they'd be uncertain of the next.

Seeing their smiles, much more their little expressions of joy as they held one another, he let it settle in his mind that the best thing for him to do was leave things as they were, the man choosing his family over his own self.

[bluesylveon2]

My My, I Could Never Let You Go

Summary: Sasha Zoe just wants her dad to walk her down the aisle. There is only one problem: she doesn’t know who her dad is! Sasha invites 3 men in hopes of finding out which one is her father. What could possibly go wrong?

Pairings: Levi x Hange, Sasha x Niccolo, and other background relationships

Disclaimer: This is a Levihan Mamma Mia au. This fanfic is inspired by Mamma Mia which is directed by Phyllida Loyd, written by Catherine Johnson, and uses music from the pop group ABBA. Attack on Titan is a manga/anime series written by Hajime Isayama and published by Kondasha

A/N: Sorry for the wait! Next chapter might take a while. I have finals starting next week and then I’ll be done soon! 😁 Now back to our regularly schedules programming...

***** - listen to Super Trooper here (go to 0;07) to get an idea of the scene. 

Need to catch up? Catch up here!

Ch 9: Super Trooper

Sasha dances on top of the table to her heart's content. She dances along to the song Moblit plays while her friends, now in party clothes, were hyping her up below. 

As the song ends (ironically, it was the same song the guys sang to her earlier. She is a big ABBA fan), Sasha lets herself go and falls back so her friends can catch her. She laughs with glee as her friends cheer for her performance. 

Sasha's bachelorette party was held in the hotel's courtyard. There was some space for dancing and a bar to get drinks. Of course, no boys were allowed except for Moblit. Hange had approved for Moblit to be the DJ for the night. He only agreed to it just as long as Sasha's friends did not force him to become a male stripper. 

Hange and her band were preparing behind the stained glasses French doors for their big performance. This performance was a callback to their old days when she and her girls used to perform together. They had even dressed the part!

Sasha's friends set her back down on the ground safely as Moblit taps his mic to get everyone's attention.

"Ladies and no gentlemen! Except for me, of course." Moblit gestures to himself before continuing.

"Presenting for one night and one night only-" he gestures to the French doors, so the girls can take their attention off of him.

"Because that's all we got breath for!" Nanaba yells from behind the door. Everyone laughs. 

"The world's first girl power band," Rico yells out from behind the door with excitement to hype the crowd. Some smoke starts to appear behind the doors. 

Sasha screams with excitement and shakes Mikasa, who was the closest to her.

"Hange and the Survey Corps!"

Moblit plays the piano as Hange, Rico, and Nanaba enter in their 70's-inspired outfits. It looks just like the ones they used to wear from the old pictures Sasha saw of her mom's room. Meanwhile, the bachelorette party squeal with excitement as Hange's band takes position. Hange was front and center, Nanaba was to her left, and Rico was to her right.

Hange taps the beat with one of her block-heeled boots on the stage. All three members of the Survey Corps raise their left arm to point up to the sky, look up at the night sky, and begin to sing the first line.

Super Trouper lights are gonna find me.

But I won't feel blue.

Sasha and her friends laugh at how ridiculous her mom and her aunts sounded without the accompaniment.

Like I always do

'Cause somewhere in the crowd, there's you

Hange looks away to glance at Sasha and gave her a quick wink. 

Sasha looks at her mother expectantly and with amusement. There was an awkward silence as no music played, and Hange's band was still in position.

Hange, noticing the silence, looks away to look at Moblit. She motions for him to play the song.

Moblit, realizing his mistake, presses the button on the speaker to start the performance. The melody to Super Trooper begins to play. Sasha and her friend cheer as Hange get back to position, so the band can go to their signature pose. 

*****

She raises her hand up and looks up at the sky. Rico turns around, so her back faced Hange. She leans back a bit and raises her microphone up to her lips to pretend she was singing. Nanaba copies Rico's position, except she faces the opposite direction; her back was facing Hange. 

Hange brings her arm down as she sings. Rico and Nanaba face the crowd and move to stand next to Hange. All three of them begin to sway and move their arms to the beat.  

Sasha and her friends laugh and clap along to the performance. Occasionally, Rico and Nanab would sing along to add harmony and more vocals. 

The trio then raises their right arm to the sky and brings it back down to briefly touch their heads. Rico and Nanaba move to face Hange as they sing along. Hange would also turn to face her best friends one at a time to make it look as though she was singing to them. Eventually, the trio stands in front of one another, leans back slightly, and moves their left arm back while holding out the note before literally jumping into the refrain. 

---

"Are you sure this is where Gelgar said Sasha's bachelorette party is going to be?" Erwin asks with a hint of uncertainty.

Mike laughs a bit, but it could have been drowned out by the music and the cheering nearby. Who knows if the guys would be able to hear each other the closer they got.

"Of course. Sasha is pretty famous on the island, so word gets around easily. Plus, she practically invited the whole island."

"Yeah. Sasha practically invited all the girls on the island." Levi adds with a hint of annoyance. He can hear the singing nearby and can recognize her voice anywhere. It reminded him of the times she used to sing to him. Hange's voice would help him fall asleep.

"Relax, Levi," Mike says reassuringly as they climb up the steps to the plaza. "Sasha would be happy to see her dads at her bachelorette party!"

They stop at the very top step and watch Hange's performance.

"Hey, look at them go! It seems her friends never lost their talent either, especially Nanaba!"

Levi looks at Mike and raises an eyebrow. "You know them?"

Mike laughs. "Of course I do. I met all three of them together," he says with amazement as he watches the performance. 

"It seems as if Hange never lost her singing talent after all."

Levi glares at Erwin, who stood behind him. Erwin, noticing Levi's glare, chuckles now that his uncertainness is fading away. It was as if he could read Levi's mind.

It seems that Hange's singing has started to calm him down enough to laugh at how silly Levi looked.

"Sometimes Hange would sing while I played the guitar. This song is actually our song." Erwin says without breaking his gaze from Hange singing and smiles. 

"It does bring me back." He adds with sincerity.  

Levi's heart skips a beat as he heard Hange sing. It was a lot different from earlier when he heard it from a distance. It was in person this time. Levi can even see the big smile and the bright eyes Hange had as she sang. It reminded him of the times he would fall asleep on her lap as she sang to him and played with his hair. 

Call him a lovestruck fool, but Levi always slept better every time Hange sang to him. 

Heck, Levi could even say with 100% certainty that he was falling for her all over again.

---

Hange continues singing and dancing with her friends. She has not had this much fun in a long time, and she can tell from Sasha's face that she was enjoying it too. In fact, Hange was having too much fun to notice Levi, Erwin, and Mike approach the plaza. 

She dances to the song's beat while adding some arm movements and stomped her boots to create an effect. Sasha and her friends cheer from below.

Like I always do. 

Hange places her hand on her forehead and scans the crowd.

Cause somewhere in the crowd, there's you. 

It was only for a brief second, but her light brown eyes met with Levi's steel gray ones.

Hange's eyes widen with shock and a little bit of hurt. He was not alone! Erwin and Mike were with him too!

Nevertheless, Hange steps forward to sing her solo while trying her best to look normal. She did not want to freak out on stage and have Sasha meet her dads. She glances over at Levi, praying it was a dream.

It was not. Levi was still there.

This time he was smiling.

Great. Just great.

Hange ends her solo with a silly dance to bring up her excitement and keep Sashas's attention solely on her. The crowd loved it! She steps back to join her band. 

The Survey Corps sing the refrain while pointing towards the sky in front of them, bringing their arms down and repeating the process all over again. They stop in the middle of the refrain, and Hange glances over at Levi again.

They were still there!

She scoots close to Rico and subtle grabs her arm before doing the same with Nanaba and brought them close to her. 

"Look, look, look, look," she says while pointing her head towards the men off to the side. She then spins around so Rico and Nanaba could see who she was looking at. The song continued to play in the background.

Oh no! Nanaba looks at the men in shock.

Why are they here at the party? Rico questions.

Rico briefly places her microphone away from her mouth. "Stay calm," she whispers loudly enough to get Hange to hear.

Nanaba imitates Rico after Rico goes back to performing. "Act normal," she whispers as well.

Both of them tried their best not to speak loud enough for both of their mics to pick up.

Meanwhile, Erwin was smiling at the performance, Mike was dancing a bit to the song, and Levi even was dancing a bit too. Just not as much as Mike.

Hange glances over at Moblit before getting back into position with the girls. Moblit, noticing the distressed look on Hange's face the entire time, turns to where she has been looking at this whole time. It did not take long for him to figure out who the three men dancing in the corner were. He had heard enough stories and helped comfort Hange when she was sobbing alone in her room to know who was who. It was a secret between the two, and Moblit was ready to take Hange's secret to his grave.

They stick their hand out to make a one and move their head in the 1 position on a clock before repeating the refrain. They move in a circle on the stage, stop to look at each other briefly, and place their hands in the center before moving it up together. 

Hange made sure to step up in the front and give Sasha all of her attention as she sings the song's last note. Rico and Nanaba sang the rest in the background before giving their final pose.

Everyone in the audience cheers for the performance, even the guys who everyone could hear cheering loudly from the back.

"Excuse me!" Moblit's voice comes on from his spot next to the stage. Hange and her friends head back inside to get changed. "This is a bachelorette party except for me. Moblit. Thank you!" he finishes before changing the song.

"That's the asshole," Levi whispers to himself without thinking about it and glares at Moblit. 

Erwin and Mike laugh at Levi. They can hear the jealousy in his voice. Levi wants what Moblit has: a life with Hange where he can watch Sasha grow up. No responsibilities or worries. Just peace.

Moblit, although he cannot hear him, feels a shiver go down his spine. He turns around to find a short, bored-looking guy glaring at him.

That must be Levi; he sweatdrops before returning to the music and praying that Levi stops glaring at him. 

Levi tsks in annoyance and starts heading out. Mike and Erwin steer in a different direction towards the bar.

Sasha follows Levi out to wherever he went. Meanwhile, all the girls in Sasha's bridal party watch as Mike and Erwin head towards the bar area. They huddle up and put their heads together to create a plan.

"We need to do something before Mike and Erwin leave," Hanami panics.

"We need to think of something now," Mina adds.

Historia thinks long and hard for a solution. What is something crazy they could do without raising suspicion? Suddenly, an idea pops up in her head as she listens to the current song Moblit was playing. It was bound to work 100%.

She silently thanks Sasha's love of ABBA songs and for hosting many karaoke nights at the hotel. The girls could sing ABBA songs with their eyes closed.

She smirks and clears her voice. Everyone stops discussing to turn their full attention to Historia.

"Ladies. I have a perfect idea,"

---

"Why are they here?! Do they want to ruin Sasha's wedding?!" Hange yells out in frustration.

"I thought you were keen about this wedding," Nanaba asks in a calm tone.

Hange takes a deep breath to calm herself down. "I just don't want them to spoil it." she sighs.

"They have no right to show up like this. What have they done for Sasha? Huh?"

"Hange. They didn't know she existed." Nanaba reasons with her. They continue making their way back to Hange's room. 

"Well, they didn't need to know. I did so well with Sasha all by myself, and I refuse to be muscled out by an ejaculation!"

---

Erwin and Mike were getting some drinks at the bar since Levi had mysteriously disappeared from them. They decided to stay for a bit until Levi comes back, but far away from the party. They could still hear the music, though.

Except the music was progressively getting louder, and it was not from the speakers. They can hear female voices heading in their direction. 

Both men turn around to find all of Sasha's bridal party walking towards them while singing the song. The girls start running towards them the moment Erwin and Mike turn around. Different girls grab both men and start pulling them into the dance floor.

Mike was excited to be surrounded by so many girls. This was life for him. On the other hand, the feelings were not mutual for Erwin. He just wanted to get a drink! Now he is getting dragged onto the dancefloor! What a rollercoaster of a day.

Except the girls did not drag them onto the dancefloor. The girls push Erwin and Mike against a pole and surround them. They tie up the men's hands behind the pole and begin their second operation. The first operation was to locate the men and tie them up. They proceed with the second part, although Levi was absent. This part was a bit more intimate. 

It was all a blur for Erein and Mike. They could not tell who exactly was feeling them up, running their hands across their chests, or even tell who was pushing up their clothes. Mike enjoyed all the attention he was receiving; Erwin was flustered and heating up.

This was definitely a strange day for everyone.

---

Sasha stops running when she finds Levi leaning against the wall, looking out at sea.

"Hi."

Levi notices Sasha's voice, leans back, and faces her. "Hey."

He clears his throat. "I think I should explain to Hange that I come in peace." he starts walking up to where Sahsa just entered from.

"Oh no." Sasha stops Levi by placing her hands out in front of him. "You should wait until she has a few drinks first, really." 

Levi nods in agreement. "Good idea."

He looks around the place and thinks back on their interaction in the boat. The fact that he never came back or how Sasha was a prodigy with weapons. He chose to speak about the latter. The first topic can come up another time. 

"That story about you being a natural at archery…." He trails off and looks at her dead in the eyes. Her eyes were obviously a different shade of brown, but it reminded him of Hange.

"Why don't you pursue it? You could even participate in events such as the Olympics?"

Sasha looks away nervously and raises her hands up before dropping down on her sides. She sighs.

"I have enough to do here." 

"Is that really your dream? Running the villa with Hange?" Levi asks. He could recall when she first met Hange. She was a woman with huge dreams. All of it was driven by her curiosity and intelligence. Yet, it was not evident for Sasha's case. 

Sasha shakes her hands out in front of her with frustration. Why wasn't Levi getting it? It was so obvious why she wanted to stay. 

"She just can't do it by herself."

"But she has Moblit." Levi counters.

"She just can't. Please understand that." 

Levi sighs. He was not getting through to her at all. Yet, Levi still thought back to Sasha's memory from earlier. He chuckles a bit.

"What's so funny?" Sasha asks with some curiosity. Ah, there it is. The Zoe curiosity lives on.

"You know, my uncle once taught me how to use a knife. Apparently, he worked in one of the intelligence agencies in Germany when he was young. He thought it was a necessary skill for me to have. Of course, I managed to excel in it, but my mom had a heart attack when she noticed me practicing it with my uncle. I always made sure to keep a pocket one if any situation goes south." 

He walks to stand where he was initially. He turns around to face Sasha. "I even taught it to Hange before. I mean, she trusted a stranger pretty easily, but you never know if things ever go south. You have to be prepared." 

He looks up at the sky and smiles at all the fond memories he had of Kalokairi.

"I always wanted to come back here…."

"What kept you from coming back?" Sasha interrupts him. 

Levi looks at Sasha and gives her a sad smile. Her eyes soften up after seeing Levi becoming vulnerable in front of her. 

"What has your mother said about me?"

"She never mentioned you," Sasha confesses. She watches for Levi's reaction but finds nothing.

Finally, he sighs. a hint of disappointment in his voice. "Sasha?"

"Why am I here?" He asks. He began to doubt his purpose here now that Hange wants nothing to do with him.

Sasha was ready to speak when the door from her mother's room opens suddenly, startling the two down below. 

"I need some air!" they both hear Hange's voice cry out.

She immediately ran off and out of sight as if she was never there.

Levi looks up at Hange's room. His eyes linger at Hange's disappearing shadow. He felt a strange but somewhat familiar feeling in his chest. 

He knew what he had to do, and he can't leave just yet.

---

Hange, Rico, and Nanaba all flop on Hange's bed in exhaustion. Nanaba was lying next to her, while Rico's boots were next to Hange's head. 

"Somebody out there is out to get me. I bet it's my mother." Hange says while glaring at the roof as if it decided to bring Sasha's dads back into her life.

"Wasn't she a ray of sunshine?" Rico adds sarcastically. 

Hange feels a sudden burst of determination. She needs to get them out now. She begins by attempting to untangle herself from her friends. 

"Oh no, you don't!" Nanaba exclaims and pins Hange down.

"If you go in there guns loaded, there's gonna be questions," Rico says as she attempts to get up but fails. It's all because of the dang boots!

"Help me out of these boots!" she complains while lying on the bed. Hange and Nanaba make a move towards the end of the bed to help. 

"All of your yoga made your feet bigger." Nanaba comments, and Rico groans in annoyance.

Suddenly, Nanaba gets serious and pulls on one of Rico's boots. "Listen up. The plan is to get all the guys drunk tonight-"

"Uh-huh," Hange says and pulls on the other boot with the same force as Nanaba.

"-and then tomorrow, Rico and I will keep them distracted."  

Rico shoots up from the bed and raises her hand. "Dibs on Erwin!"

Nanaba rolls her eyes. "Of course, you would say that," she mumbles. 

---

Erwin luckily manages to escape the crowd of girls by crawling under the table to escape. Sasha's bridal party had finally untied him and Mike from the poles and brought them somewhere else to dance. Erwin last saw Mike dancing on top of the table with some of the girls. He was having the time of his life.

Sasha ran back to the party just in time to see Erwin escaping from her friends.

"Hi," she sighs in relief.

"Hello," He greets back. He was still traumatized from earlier.

Sasha grabs Erwin's arm and seats Erwin at the barstool. 

"You ok?" she asks as she sits down as well. Erwin's hair was a bit disheveled, his shirt was unbuttoned and untucked to reveal his chest, and he looked a bit flustered. 

Erwin sighs instead. He reaches over to a nearby pitcher and pours himself a drink.

"I'm surprised Hange has a grown-up daughter." He confesses and briefly glances over at Sasha.

She leans one elbow against the bar and faces Erwin. "Do you have any children, Erwin?" 

Erwin chuckles. "Well, I only have my dogs, Hiroshi and Romi. They are staying at a friend's house right now." 

"I'd love to have a daughter. I'd spoil her rotten," he adds with a smile and takes a sip of his drink. 

That caught Sasha off guard. She didn't expect Erwin to say that. She opens her mouth to speak but closes it instead. She imagined what life would be like if Erwin was her father. How he would spoil her, shower her with much love and attention.

Erwin notices Sasha's silence. He briefly turns around to look at the crowd before turning back to Sasha.

"Is your father here?"

"I don't know." She admits. Erwin looks at her with confusion. Surely her own father should be here for his own daughter's wedding, right?

"I don't know who my father is." she clarifies.

Erwin's eyes widen with shock. He opens his mouth to ask more questions, but one of Sasha's friends grabs her and brings her back to the dance floor. He could only watch as Sasha's figure disappears into the crowd.

---

Erwin sat with his hands covering his face. A few minutes had passed since Sasha left, and everything was beginning to come together. What if he was Sasha's father? He was too conflicted to notice the footsteps heading his way.

"Give me two tequila shots. One for me and one for this guy." he hears a female voice say. His head shoots up, ready to decline the offer but stops. Sitting down where Sasha last sat was a woman with long brown hair and blue eyes. Her hair was half up, half down, she wore a simple blouse and some shorts, and she also wore sandals on her feet.

She notices Erwin's stare and turns to him with a smile. Erwin looks away and blushes from embarrassment. 

The woman laughs instead. She extends her hand out for him to shake.

"My name is Marie Fournier, and you are?"

Erwin extends his hand out to shake Marie's. "Erwin Smith."

The bartender comes back with the shots. Marie grabs her and holds it out in front of Erwin for a toast.

"Cheers." she smiles.

"Cheers," he says with a small smile. Erwin tries to hide his earlier conflict from Marie.

"So how do you know the Zoe's?" Erwin asks after the both of them drank the shot and set their glasses down on the bar."

"Well, we went to the same college and for the same major. I was more of an acquaintance with her, but we still kept in touch after I moved to Canada. I consider myself lucky that she invited me here since we weren't that close."  

She looks at Erwin with a smile. Erwin was taken aback by it. There was a dormant but familiar feeling growing in his chest after seeing Marie smile at him.

"She is a nice person, though. I came here once before for vacation. She showed me around the island and even brought Sasha along too."

Erwin felt another feeling in his chest, and he slightly flinches in his seat. The shock and realization of what if Sasha was his daughter. It seems Marie does not notice any difference in Erwin.

"So how do you know Hange?"

Should he tell her the truth? Maybe a short and sweet version?

His eyes briefly glance over at the bartender walking by. He is going to need some more drinks first.

---

Hitch drags Sasha from the bar and pushes her to dance onto a table to dance with Mike.

"Hey!" Mike cheers once Sasha joins him on the fun. Both of them start dancing together.

"This is fantastic! How did your mom get money to buy this place?"

"She was left some money by an old lady she looked after before I was born," Sasha yells back with all the music and the dancing happening at the same time.

 "Alexandra, that I'm named after."

He looks at her suspiciously. "My grandma Alexandra?"

"I guess?"

"I always heard she left her money to her family…" his voice trails off.

Suddenly, everything hit Mike like a tone of bricks. His grandmother, the hotel, Sasha…

He looks at Sasha, who was still dancing and smiling at him.

"How old are you?" he needed to know.

"I'm 20."

That was the final piece of the puzzle Mike was missing. He stops dancing and looks at her with shock and panic.

"Will you excuse me for a minute?" He looks around his surrounding with confusion, shock, and a bit of disappointment. It's not that he is disappointed at Sasha, but himself. What kind of dad (if he actually was) was he for missing out on 20 years of his daughter's life?

"I'm sorry," he says and leaves Sasha, who stands there with sadness flashing in her face. She was determined to get to Mike again. She runs off to chase after him.

---

"Mike!" Sasha calls after Mike, but he continues walking down the steps and towards the shore. 

"Mike, wait! Why did your grandmother leave my mother money?" She asks as some tears began to fall down her face. Mike was running down the steps, and it was hard for Sasha to catch up.

"I don't know. What do you want from me?" He replies hastily without turning back and quickens his pace. Mike was too confused with everything that he decided to run away instead of confronting Sasha. Sasha can feel her heartbreaking even more now.

"Mike, please!" Mike stops moving. "All my life, there's been this huge unanswered question., and I don't want any more secrecy!" she cries out, and her voice begins to crack. She can feel tears now that began to blur her vision and some snot running down her nose. 

Mike turns around to face Sasha ultimately after hearing her voice crack and the sadness in her voice. Although the only light source was moonlight, Mike could see the tears staining Sasha's face and her body shaking a bit. He felt guilty for making Sasha cry.

Sasha was ready to ask the age-old question. "Are you my father?"

"Yes. I think so." Mike says immediately. He has all the pieces to the puzzle, except he sounded unsure. He looks at Sasha's face. The same face that has Hange it in and him. He is not running away from his problems. He looks at her with determination and smiles.

"Yes," she says softly that it was almost hard to hear it.

Sasha smiles and laughs with pure joy. More tears were running down her face, but it was tears of joy and not sadness. She felt relief rush into her body because she has now found her father—the man standing in front of her, Mike Zacharias.

She smiles brightly at Mike. The smile Hange always had. "You know what comes next?"

"Oh, you're not telling me you have a twin sister, are you?" Mike asks lightheartedly.

Sasha shakes her head and laughs lightly. She steps closer to Mike.

"Will you give me away tomorrow?"

"Give you away?" Mike asks with a bit of perplex.

"No! Our secret until the wedding." 

Mike laughs. He has been on many adventures all of his life, and now life presented him with a new one. He may have missed the first 20 years of Sasha's life, but he was not going to lose more. Especially with something as big as his daughter's own wedding.

Mike smiles and opens his arms out for a hug. Sasha immediately runs in and gives him the biggest hug she's ever given.

"Of course. I will do it for you." He whispers and plants a small kiss on the crown of her head. After all, giving Sasha away tomorrow is the least he could do for her. 

Sasha smiles as she rests her head against Mike's chest (or more like her dad's chest). She felt a rush of emotions today from happiness, sadness, and fear. It did not matter to her now that Sasha found her dad and was not letting him go. She felt whole as the new father-daughter relationship began to form between the two. She finally has everything she could ever dream of.

Sasha was now experiencing another form of happiness. A form she was missing for 20 years.   

©: This is where I insert all rights reserved stuff. This story belongs to me. Do not modify or republish

Big father reveal!!!!! 🥳

Yeah I know Moblit is the only guy at the bacholrette party, but I needed him to do something lol

Marie is now here!

Erwin’s dogs names are the names of Levi and Hange’s Japanese VA’s

[starmieknight]

Chapter Two: In Which Hari Hears Some Rumors

Pairing: (poly) Jeongguk x Jimin x Taehyung x Original Character, [background OT7 implied]

Summary: Hari is an exchange student spending a year abroad to learn more about her grandfather’s heritage while she attends university, but stumbles into the strange, magical underbelly of his old hometown when she is saved by one of the university’s heart throbs, Park Jimin.

When Hari returns the favor and saves him from a scorned witch, she finds herself cursed and reliant on the youngest members of the Bangtan Coven, all of which are suffering from their own curses.

To save herself, Hari must first save them.

Contents: maknae line centric, Hyung Line is away for this story but no less loved and mentioned often, the boys are all whipped for each other, Polyamory, Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Witches, Alternate Universe - College/University, Foursome - F/M/M/M, Slow Burn

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven (coming soon)

In the magical world, the concept of fate was less of an abstract and more of an expected occurrence at some point in one’s life. It was seen less as an inevitability or burden that one couldn’t escape, but something small like a chance meeting that could alter the whole expected trajectory one had planned for their life.

A scene from 101 Dalmatians may come to mind, where the chance meeting of a pair of dog owners sets forth an entire sequence of events that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

And much like Anita hitting Roger about the head with a purse full of bricks, Fate came to attack Hari with a pair of pretty faces instead.

The girls had found themselves in the campus cafe after class like they had planned, Hari very pleased to find an overly sweet frappuccino in hand and a friend at the table with her.

She and Migyeong didn’t seem to have very much in common, both clueless about most of the movies and music the other talked about, but they were curious about each other and Migyeong was the first person to show any interest in Hari in a kind way. The other girl was funny and even though she usually disliked trying new things, Hari resolved to look into some of the movies and bands Migyeong had mentioned being a fan of.

“You’ve really never seen Mamma Mia?” Hari asked almost despairingly, unable to fathom the reality where someone was missing the joys of a movie with an entire album of ABBA hits.

Migyeong shook her head. “Never. But you’ve never seen Full House either, so I think we’re on equal terms.”

Hari shook her head. “It’s hard to accept. I do know Rain though.” Her eyes lit up as a perfect thought hit her. “Oh! Why don’t we have a watch party! We can watch Mamma Mia and you can introduce me to your ‘must-see’ drama!”

Migyeong grinned. “I love a good girls’ night in! We can order chicken and get some face masks, too!”

Hari held her hands up for a pair of high fives and excitedly shook their hands together, her first real bout of happiness and excitement filling her for the first time since coming to Korea.

It might have just been her mood lightening, but suddenly the whole cafe seemed alight with energy, the noise level rising and the air filling with excited chatter.

Hari sat back, bemused, but Migyeong took a look out of the window and rolled her eyes. She looked unimpressed.

Hari looked out the window as well, but couldn’t see for the sudden crowd of girls in the way. “Is there an idol coming in or something?” she asked jokingly.

Migyeong grimaced, taking a sip of her macchiato. “They might as well be with the way most of these girls act.” She nodded towards the pair of young men who walked in, the crowd of girls scattering back to their tables in a flurry of excited giggles. “That’s Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jeongguk - the maknaes of Bangtan House. They’re really popular on campus. I’ve never seen the appeal.”

Hari looked them over curiously.

The boys were very good looking and about the same height, though one was a bit taller and broader. He had a baby face that looked to be slowly sharpening up around the jawline, but he had large doe eyes beneath a brown fringe and a naturally pouty mouth that kept him looking his age. He couldn’t have been much older than Hari herself.

The smaller boy had a face that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a Greek statue, classically handsome with nicely proportioned features that scrunched up into a pair of half-moon eyes and a wide, boxy smile when he laughed at something the other boy said. His hair was bleached blond and starting to brass into a more golden shade. It looked unnatural, but seemed to suit him.

They looked like a pair of regular college boys to Hari, and she turned back to Migyeong, eyebrows raised in anticipation of an explanation.

The other girl sighed and pushed her coffee aside to lean forward, beckoning Hari to lean in closer so she could whisper. “So, Jungkook is the dark haired one. He’s the real maknae of their little gang and a year younger than you and me. He’s as perfect as a human can get, apparently. He’s great at sports and art and music and gets amazing grades even though I’m sure he doesn’t have the time to study. He gets babied by everyone, especially his hyungs.

“The other one is Taehyung and he’s part of the ‘95 ‘Twins’ and rarely apart from his other half. He’s a bit odd. I’ve seen him jumping off the smaller buildings around campus for fun! He’s an Art Major, so I guess he’s allowed to be a little weird, but he seems more wild than anything. Last year, he brought a frog to class for a month straight. He even talked to it like a person, asking it questions about the course like it knew what the professor was going on about.”

Hari laughed at the idea, sitting back a bit. “That is odd, but a lot of people are like that! I talked to my mom’s dog all the time when I was home. I even called him Little Brother since my mom treated him like her own child.”

Migyeong’s expression lightened and she rolled her eyes, amused this time. She bobbed her head in acknowledgement. “Alright, I’ll give you that one. People talk to animals all the time. I guess the weird part was just the fact he kept a frog of all things in his pocket. That’s too gross for me.”

Hari agreed. “I’d be too afraid it’d pee in my pocket.”

Migyeong burst out laughing at that, earning them a few dirty looks from the other girls in the cafe for interrupting their admiration of the Bangtan boys at the counter.

Kim Taehyung turned, curious to the source of the noise, and met eyes with Hari, who was still grinning at her new friend. He smiled at the sight of the pair having fun and turned back to the barista to give his order.

Hari was suddenly the new target for the crowd’s glares, this time for taking their object of admiration’s attention.

She winced and took a sip of her drink. She’d made eye contact with the man. It wasn’t like she’d made out with him against the counter.

Migyeong let out a low whistle, having caught a glimpse of the encounter through her laughter, and now felt sorry for her new friend. “Uh-oh. You’re not going to be very popular with their fan club now. Any girl who interacts with them gets the stink-eye from the fan club for a while.”

“I didn’t even speak to him!” Hari protested, half-amused by the overreaction. She was still grinning a bit, though the air seemed a bit more tense now.

“They’ll get over themselves.” Migyeong waved her concern off. “After all, those guys never stick with one girl for long. The Bangtan Boys don’t do relationships. They do one-night stands and close-encounters on campus.”

Hari quirked a brow. “So, are they a fraternity or something?”

“Fraternity?” Migyeong blinked in confusion. “Uh, like in the movies? We don’t have those here. No, I think they’re just playboys. Those two live together off-campus with a few of their hyungs. There’s seven of them in total and all of them have reputations for breaking hearts around here. I’ve seen a girl crying over them every week for the past two years.”

“Huh,” Hari mused, watching the boys joke around. They didn’t look like the type to play around with girls like that. Or maybe Hari was just too used to the type of boys she had grown up with where they were loud and rowdy and outright raunchy when it came to hitting on girls. Maybe the guys at Boseon University were more subtle to match the culture. It wouldn’t do to be kicked out of school for sexual harassment that might seem the norm in America. “They look so innocent.”

“Hajoon-ah,” Migyeong said suddenly, reaching across the table to lay her hand over Hari’s. Her face was stern and her eyes were worried. “Please, don’t try to get involved with those guys. You’re new here and I like you. I don’t want to see you hurt because of them. Boys aren’t worth it and they’ll make you an enemy of all the girls in the university.”

Hari smiled, clasping their hands together. “Don’t worry, Migyeongie. Dealing with boys is not my strong suit and I’d rather just not deal with them at all if I can help it. Besides, I’m here to enjoy my year at university before I go back home. A winter’s romance was never in my plan, especially with someone who seems out of my league.”

Migyeong looked relieved, though not entirely convinced, and let the matter drop. She turned the conversation back to the girls’ night they had started with and started listing off dramas she thought Hari might like.

Behind her, the pair of Bangtan Boys turned from the counter, coffee in hand, and began heading out.

Taehyung caught Hari’s eye again, offering her another boxy smile, to which Hari offered a cool curve of her lips and an arched brow before turning her whole attention to Migyeong.

The boys watched her for a moment, curious about the newcomer who so easily dismissed them, the girl ignoring Jungkook entirely, before they left the cafe.

It was a nice change of pace and the boys left the cafe in good spirits, not thinking that they would have any more encounters with the pair of girls from the cafe.

But just as Fate had reared back to hit Hari with its purse full of bricks, it was also acting like the dog, winding a leash around the boys in an inevitable path back towards the unwitting girl with the copper toned hair.

Related works: Gray Morning, Golden Home; Plus One, Two, Three

[cto10121]

The bad Shakespeare takes keep coming, I see. This one had the cleverness to couch itself as a personal narrative (makes it much more interesting, tbh). But as bad Shakespeare takes are my bread and butter, my boon and bane, mamma mia here we go again, with Merchant of Venice.

“But those who thought the play was irredeemably antisemitic were, the consensus went, vulgar and whiny—​and, completely coincidentally, they were also Jewish, which somehow magically invalidated their opinions on this subject.”

I’m glad (is that even the right word?) this author found scholars that don’t think this play is anti-Semitic, but my experience with scholarship has been way more mixed than that. Suffice to say, this is literally all the play is known for these days, and views of the play as anti-Semitic are everywhere (Rosenbaum even had a hot take that since the Nazis liked it, it must be anti-Semitic). Didn’t know Harold Bloom thinks this play is anti-Semitic, though. That in itself is a bit of a red flag, as Bloom is a notoriously poor reader of Shakespeare.

“[I]n Merchant, Portia unhappily fulfills her father’s requirements of her suitors, while in Il Pecorone, the lady enjoys drugging her suitors and robbing them blind. By removing this detail, Shakespeare removed the suggestion that malicious schemers come from all walks of life.”

Or, by removing this detail, Shakespeare removed the clear and abhorrent sexism of his original source that turned a woman robbed of her autonomy by her father’s will into a criminal. It’s almost as if you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

“Dr. Lopez, one of the most respected physicians of the 16th century, had indiscreetly revealed that he once treated the Earl of Essex for venereal disease. The earl took revenge by framing Dr. Lopez for treason and arranging for his torture; while on the rack, Dr. Lopez “confessed”—​though “like a Jew,” as the court record states, he denied all charges at trial, while the attorney for the Crown referred to him matter-​of-​factly as “a perjuring murdering traitor and Jewish doctor.”

This is a very twisted account of the Lopez affair and Essex’s motives in going against him, at least to my understanding. For context, Lopez was accused of receiving loads of money from the King of Spain to poison Queen Elizabeth.

According to Stephen Greenblatt, in Will of the World: “Essex had tried some years before to recruit Lopez as a secret agent. Lopez’s refusal—he chose instead directly to inform the queen—may have been prudent, but it created in the powerful earl a very dangerous enemy. After his arrest, he was initially imprisoned at Essex House and interrogated by the earl himself. But Lopez had powerful allies in the rival faction of the queen’s senior adviser William Cecil, Lord Burghley, and his son, Robert Cecil, who also participated in the interrogation and reported to the queen that the charges against her physician were baseless.” Lopez apparently had been taken bribes from various sources, and confessed (freely? under torture?) “that he had indeed entered into a treasonous-sounding negotiation with the king of Spain, but he insisted that he had done so only in order to cozen the king out of his money.” Weird.

Greenblatt isn’t a historian, though, and Essex was indeed an asshole to Lopez, (and for what is worth, I feel Lopez was innocent; I just get those vibes) but so far I can find no other source that Essex actively framed Lopez. Most likely he did some sleuthing, dug up some questionable, compromising stuff, and tried to blow a hearth flame into a firestorm.

“After all, the historical record gives Queen Elizabeth a cookie for dawdling on signing Dr. Lopez’s death warrant; her doubts about his guilt even led her to mercifully allow his family to keep his property, not unlike the equally merciful Duke of Venice in Shakespeare’s play.”

Again, Lopez had powerful allies (doesn’t get much higher than Burghley), and again, re: Greenblatt: “According to court observers, Elizabeth gave Essex a tongue-lashing, ‘calling him rash and temerarious youth, to enter into a matter against the poor man, which he could not prove, and whose innocence she knew well enough.’” A cupcake, then?

“And it is of course entirely unclear whether this trial and public humiliation of an allegedly greed-​driven Jew attempting to murder an upstanding Christian, rapturously reported in the press with myriad antisemitic embellishments, had anything at all to do with Shakespeare’s play about the trial and public humiliation of a greed-​driven Jew attempting to murder an upstanding Christian—​which Shakespeare composed shortly after Dr. Lopez decomposed. Most likely these things were completely unrelated.”

Nearly all the major Shakespeare biographies and articles I’ve read literally and explicitly talks about the possible influence of Lopez’s execution on Merchant of Venice and names it as an inspiration: Greenblatt, (he even headcanons that Shakespeare watched the execution!) Bate, Ackroyd. That’s how Horn managed to ping my BS radar something awful—because I had read about it, many times, even if it was mentioned in passing. It’s solid, legit Shakespearean academic fanon. The sarcasm is really unwarranted, and childish besides.

“It was damned hard to hear the nuance while parsing lines like “Certainly the Jew is the very devil incarnal,” or “My master’s a very Jew; give him a present, give him a halter,” or explaining what Shylock meant when he planned to “go in hate, to feed upon / The prodigal Christian.”

The first two are the fool’s, Lancelot’s, lines, I think. As for Shylock’s hatred toward Christians, while ugly, it’s entirely understandable given the Christian characters’ treatment of him pre-play and during it (Antonio spitting on Shylock’s gaberdine and then asking him to borrow money from him is called out by Shylock himself for its sheer hypocrisy). It also fits Shylock’s character as an unassimilated Jew, resenting Christian hypocrisy and racism.

“The actor began the brief soliloquy that every English-​speaking Jew is apparently meant to take as a compliment: ‘I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? . . . ​If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?’

“Wait, that’s the part where he’s more human?”

[…]“Sure,” I told my son, game-​facing him back in the rearview. “He’s reminding us how he’s like everyone else. He’s a normal person with normal feelings.”

My son laughed. “You seriously fell for that?”

[…] “What do you mean?”

“Shylock’s just saying he wants revenge! Like, ‘Oh, yeah? If I’m a regular human, then I get to be eee-​vil like a regular human!’ This is the evil monologue thing that every supervillain does! ‘I’ve had a rough life, and if you were me you would do the same thing, so that’s why I’m going to KILL BATMAN, mu-​hahaha!’ He’s just manipulating the other guy even more!”

And then the crowd applauded, Harold Bloom cried, and the mayor gave the author’s six-year-old son a gold medal for his Brave Hot Take. Honestly, this was the most unbelievable part of the essay I’ve read. Unless this kid has been reading academic essays on MoV that posit this exact same interpretation (“Shylock was just using humanistic rhetoric to justify his ~bloodthirsty revenge!”), this one’s for a fake Internet stories anthology. Shylock may be a dour, miserable pain in the ass, but he is no Barabas, an actual anti-Semitic caricature—he has a character, and a recognizably human one, and the play bears it out that he is right in his anger.

“I reviewed the other moments scholars cite to prove Shylock’s “humanity.” There were two lines of Shylock treasuring his dead wife’s ring, unlike the play’s Christian men who give their wives’ rings away. But unlike the other men, Shylock never gets his ring back—​because his daughter steals it, and becomes a Christian, and inherits what remains of his estate at the play’s triumphant end.”

Er, this is a non sequitur—that last has nothing to do with the first. The point is, Shylock doesn’t give away his ring; the fact that his daughter stole it means nothing to his treasuring it. It may be proof of the play’s marginalization of Shylock (which accurately if sadly reflects real-life systematic marginalization), but not his humanity. Shakespeare just doesn’t do backstories, even for major characters, so it is significant that he gave Shylock a wife/beloved in the first place.

“Finally, scholars point to the many times Shylock explains why he is so revolting: Christians treat him poorly, so he returns the favor. But for this to satisfy, one must accept that Jews are revolting to begin with, and that their repulsiveness simply needs to be explained.”

This makes absolutely no sense at all. If one accepts Jews are inherently revolting, then no explanation need be given for when a Jewish character acts revolting! The racist accepts the revolting Jewish characterization without qualm. The fact that the play insists on his grievance is significant.

“We listened together as Shylock went to court to extract his pound of flesh; as the heroine, chirping about the quality of mercy, forbade him to spill the Christian’s blood as he so desperately desired; as the court confiscated his property, along with his soul through forced conversion; as the play’s most cherished characters used his own words to taunt and demean him, relishing their vanquishing of the bloodthirsty Jew.”

YMMV, but to me there are no cherished characters in this play. That’s the whole point! Everyone is so mired in this dreary capitalist materialism that denigrates genuine human connection into mere transaction. Everything to these characters is money, money, money (and class), or at least tainted by it. Shylock is simply the most overt (and honest) of the lot. Love relationships, religion are impoverished; Portia and Bassanio are scarcely more suited than Portia and her other suitors. Shylock and Antonio are Jews and Christians in-name-only: They are capitalists first and foremost. Portia is a smarter, more likable Karen. Lancelot isn’t funny. Jessica is okay, but her leaving her father is framed as a asshole moment at least in one instance. Portia is probably the most lovable, but she has her asshole moments too. There are no truly awful characters, but you don’t need to demonize and dehumanize your whole cast into two-dimensional racists just to make a point.

Merchant of Venice is not the best of plays. It is one of Shakespeare’s experiments, a proto-problem play before his Jacobean era, using dark comedy and a slight bent of farce to explore and elucidate social issues, racism and discrimination, chiefly. At least it tries, anyway. Taming of the Shrew is the first proto-problem play done completely farcical, which at least makes it compelling in a slapstick-satire way; Merchant is much more sociologically astute, but also more dull and coolly distant even from its own concerns. I don’t blame anyone, much less Jewish people, for not liking the play or thinking it a masterpiece. I myself don’t, though for reasons that have nothing to do with the usual ones. I like what Shakespeare was trying to do and I think he did some things very well. It has ambition and thought. But I feel like for most of it Shakespeare was on writing autopilot while mentally looking around for something a bit meatier to adapt and develop. It’s a jogging-in-one-place play; he has a couple of those.

In sum: Author argues for complicated play’s anti-Semitism, ends up just saying the racist slurs by the flawed/asshole Christian characters made her and her son uncomfortable (feat. A distorted and even misleading account of the Lopez affair). Plus some internalized anti-Semitism to sort through, methinks.