#“in fact you can be vulnerable around others because most people do not in fact see vulnerabilities as opportunities to take advantage of”

[krispycreamcake]

hello! I really like your writing! If you don't mind may I please request headcanons on how laito would react to someone (a bride or classmate or something) who always tried to make him laugh by telling him jokes and stuff. please and thank you!

Headcanons on how Laito would react to someone always trying to cheer him up

🃏- Now everyone knows Laito is always in the mood for fun

🃏- Well to be fair, his fun and other people's fun are two entirely different types of fun

🃏- Usually he likes to mentally mess with you, tease your mind, make your head spin because he gets a sick thrill out of it

🃏- That isn't to say he's not one to indulge another person's idea of what it's like to humour oneself

🃏- Be it a bride, a friend, a classmate, he'll lend you an ear

🃏- Don't be fooled, his patience is extremely thin and unless you're the peak of comedy, he'll get bored quickly and easily turn the conversation around into something that benefits him

🃏- Now, if you're strong willed and can ignore his words and actions, he'll respect that

🃏- If anything, it makes you more interesting, which then makes him want to listen to more of your futile attempts to make him laugh or sport a smile

🃏- Let's say it's lunch hour and you're sitting at his table. Depending on your relationship, he'll either leave you and your jokes high and dry to go make out with some girl in a broom closet, or he'll entertain you

🃏- Over time of course, his tolerance grows and he doesn't believe himself when he eventually starts enjoying your company and your positive nature

🃏- He's grown accustomed to having you around and subconsciously counts on you to improve his mood

🃏- Maybe he got a scolding from Reiji just before school and he's ticked off, tell him how he looks emo, you might get a smirk (you will)

🃏- He'll probably minimize this feeling as nothing other than boredom (he's afraid to admit he doesn't feel completely numb around you)

🃏- It's such an odd thing for someone to genuinely want to make his day better by giving him something without him having to do anything in return

🃏- See this is where it'll kinda fuck him up

🃏- It's not about the jokes or the great atmosphere you seem to carry around yourself whenever you guys are together

🃏- It's the fact that he's having trouble coping with the idea that someone wants him to feel good without the use of sex

🃏- So maybe you're trying to use him, get closer to him and when he's his most vulnerable, you'll strike at him when he's fully exposed

🃏- He cannot have that be a possibility, he'll lose his shit

🃏- A part of him is glad that despite all his bullshit, you're there for him in your own way

🃏- Another part of him is telling him to run far far away

🃏- By attempting to getting close with Laito, even if it's something as simple as jokes and smiles, he'll consider it a major red flag and might not know what to do with himself

🃏- After all, what if he's wrong and he just pushed away the only person that cared about him?

🃏- Humans, women, people, feelings, society. It's all just too confusing for him

🃏- "Ne~ Bitch-chan, you're so quiet. Ah- I get it, do I need to tell you a joke today? Or should we improve your mood some other way hm?"

[yuri-is-online]

Bro floyd is so handsome-

And he's weirdly the only twst character that I can describe as handsome??? Like every other character I like is either cute or pretty. Trey and leona might have been handsome to me at one point but I'm just. Not attracted to them yk? Even Jade! Jade is very pretty! He's my evil little wife! But floyd is like. The only one that's actually handsome, like in the traditional sense. At least to me he is. Just like. His mannerisms I guess... idk man he's cool as hell and weirdly reminiscent of dark vintage americana. Weirdest fucking aesthetic I can connect him to but fuck you I'm connecting them (national anthem demo 1 by lana. I was reading the lyrics and also the overall vibe of that specific version of the song just kind of cemented for me)

Idk dude sometime I just go into you inbox and dump out my twst thoughts with no real purpose or structure and this is one of those times 🦵...also it's 2 am so that probably has something to do with it. Good night Yuri!

The prequel to this ask and also still goodnight because it is rather late here rn

Floyd is very much a mob boss, old Americana, guy you obviously should not be attracted to but still everyone kind of understands why type of guy. He's handsome in italics, in a way that you giggle about and exaggeratedly wag your eyes because hey you could be joking.

He's that sort of handsome where most interested parties would ditch him after a weekend. Handsome in a way that sparks but doesn't start a fire, like one of his bad moods that's strong, horrible, and will do so much damage but is gone as soon as it's come on. Like a man desperate for a real connection and can't quite get it, who is looking into your eyes while it rains outside not saying anything but really wanting you to know it's real. Handsome like the guy who doesn't get the girl but everyone knows if the writer was paying attention to their own characters would have been the better choice.

Handsome in a way that's stammered out without a technicality offered by someone small, vulnerable, and foreign to everything he knows in more ways than just the one obvious fact who ignores all of that stuff. Handsome enough for the spark to catch and the connection to wrap itself around your waist and drag you into the ocean without a single scream because the part those stories often ignore is that there are people who would look at an eel three times there size and still "would."

He laughs, dizzyingly loud and all the things he is at once because what he thinks of you is much simpler than all of that. He thinks you're cute~ so cute he could just eat you up.

[scoobydoodean]

i know it's compelling in fics for cas to feel betrayed about the jack in the ma'lak box decision but its So weird bc its obvious the moment jack breaks out of it hes like. oh man jack might need to be restrained at least until we can figure out a plan. like his first thought before jack breaks out is "this was cruel of them to do" and then hes like. oh fuck jack might be a threat actually.

like castiel is a complicated character hes on jack's side but by the time god suggests killing jack hes done a full 180 on it.

and when people are like "aiming the gun at jack is just as bad as shooting him" im even more confused bc like. dean aimed a gun at emma and didnt shoot her, even with the safety off. dean aimed a gun at SAM while under mind control/anger spell (talking about southern comfort iirc) and didnt shoot him. dean aimed a blade at cas and didnt stab him. like. its fine for cas to be upset at the god gun thing but its so weird when people act as if cas didnt basically admit jack needs to be stopped/bound next episode.

Cas should have been consulted and had a right to be angry that he wasn't included in the decision. At the same time, part of the reason the whole dead mom incident leading up to this happened is that Cas—yet again—kept something from everyone else so he could make unilateral decisions behind all their backs, so I'm not particularly sympathetic to his frustrations with being excluded.

I also just don't think it was cruel at all to put soulless Jack in a box and I think people should get over it. He was killing people and I care more about that than his feelings about being stuck in a box for all of 20 minutes. I simply don't care and it continuously baffles me how big a deal some fans makes out of this when Jack was going around fucking punishing and killing people in horrific ways for not believing in god on Dumah's orders after Cas suggested to her that Jack was in a vulnerable state due to being soulless and could be molded to do others bidding. Anyway like 20 minutes later, Cas went to inquire about putting Jack in The Cage. You know—the room where Sam was trapped for a year with Michael and Lucifer and where as far as Cas knows at that point, Sam was so badly tortured by Michael in addition to Lucifer that it ripped him apart at the seams?

Fandom's take on the entire thing is so devoid of even the most basic level of nuance or even plain simple honesty (to the point one of my mutuals was sent hate mail for months for nothing more than pointing out canonical facts surrounding the incident). It doesn't even surprise me anymore, because this is a fandom that infantilizes Jack to such an extent that it's been passionately argued to me that Jack should be allowed to kill people when he's angry because he has such Big Important Feelings and simultaneously and incongruously—that Dean shooting Jack to keep him from killing the black store clerk Jack was strangling to death in a rage was an act of abuse. Don't even get me started on gun disk horse that exists beyond that regarding the shooting people with guns show.

[erstwhile-elster]

Big Things Today

[irregularbillcipher]

going over old fic notes and outlines and character talks with friends and it's always really funny when i get to the stuff i was developing early-mid 2019 where bill just literally kept kryptos around to rag on, and he genuinely just. did not like the man. like was just completely annoyed with his general existence. boy have things changed

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

I'm so fascinated by languages with different levels of formality built in because it immediately introduces such complex social dynamics. The social distance between people is palpable when it's built right into the language, in a way it's not really palpable in English.

So for example. I speak Spanish, and i was taught to address everyone formally unless specifically invited otherwise. People explained to me that "usted" was formal, for use with strangers, bosses, and other people you respect or are distant from, while "tú" is used most often between family and good friends.

That's pretty straightforward, but it gets interesting when you see people using "tú" as a form of address for flirting with strangers, or for picking a fight or intimidating someone. In other languages I've sometimes heard people switch to formal address with partners, friends or family to show when they are upset. That's just so interesting! You're indicating social and emotional space and hierarchy just in the words you choose to address the other person as "you"!!

Not to mention the "what form of address should I use for you...?" conversation which, idk how other people feel about it, but to me it always felt awkward as heck, like a DTR but with someone you're only just becoming comfortable with. "You can use tú with me" always felt... Weirdly intimate? Like, i am comfortable around you, i consider you a friend. Like what a vulnerable thing to say to a person. (That's probably also just a function of how i was strictly told to use formal address when i was learning. Maybe others don't feel so weird about it?)

And if you aren't going to have a conversation about it and you're just going to switch, how do you know when? If you switch too soon it might feel overly familiar and pushy but if you don't switch soon enough you might seem cold??? It's so interesting.

Anyway. As an English-speaking American (even if i can speak a bit of Spanish), i feel like i just don't have a sense for social distance and hierarchy, really, simply because there isn't really language for it in my mother tongue. The fact that others can be keenly aware of that all the time just because they have words to describe it blows my mind!

[cherryobx]

pretty girl

request: here

pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

summary: Steve has been begging to take you on a date for weeks but you've said no every time because you think you're not pretty enough for him

warnings: reader is pictured as fem and has hair that can be pushed behind the ear, being insecure about acne, steve is a simp, they're coworkers, reader wears jewelry

wc: 1.1k

“Why won’t you go out with me?” Steve asks, leaning against the driver side of your car so you can’t get in the car without him moving. You were both on closing shift tonight so you walked to the parking lot together.

“I already told you, I just don’t want to.” It’s a lie. A big fucking lie. In fact, it’s your dream to go out on a date with Steve. He’s handsome, sweet and has always been very nice to you but it’s your own insecurities holding you back.

Ever since puberty hit, you’ve been struggling with acne. You’ve never once thought that other people with acne were any less beautiful but you just couldn’t get yourself to like how it looked on you, how the bumps and scars littered your face. 

“That’s bullshit. I know you like me. I just don’t understand why you won’t go out with me,” he ponders.

“My reasoning should be enough for you to back off.” You cross your arms on your chest, using them as some sort of barrier between you and him, hiding yourself.

“Have I done something to you for you to hate me?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then go out with me.”

“No,” you stand on your ground. “Can you please stop blocking my car so I can go home now?”

“No.” And he stands on his. He’s not giving up and you can’t help but lowkey admire his ambition.

“No?” You raise your eyebrow at him.

“Give me a real reason. Tell me honestly why you don’t want to go out with me,” he demands and you sigh at that. You know he won’t leave you alone unless you actually tell him. 

Steve prides himself in knowing you well enough to know when you’re lying. Couple months into working at the Family Video together he managed to spot the tells of you lying. He saw it every day first hand. They were always little white lies. Like when someone asked about a movie they wanted to rent out but you told them that it wasn’t available at the moment. The truth was that it was, he checked, but you wanted to take it home yourself. But he noticed how you pushed hair behind your ear and then pulled it back out from behind it many times. He noticed how you fidgeted with your rings and bracelets or touched the necklace you never took off. He noticed.

You take a quick glance around to make sure that there are no people near enough to hear you confess your biggest insecurity to your coworker. Not that anyone would really care. But you do. It’s something you don’t really voice out loud and write in private into your diary at night when everyone is sleeping.

“Are you sure you want to go out with me?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t. What is this about?” His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks confused.

“Don’t you find me, I don’t know, ugly?” Your voice is now quieter, vulnerable.

He’s taken aback. His words are almost choked up. “Ugly? No, I find you really pretty actually. Why would I think that?”

“You’re just saying that. You can be honest with me, Steve. My acne. Is it not making me unattractive or something?”

He pushes himself off your car and stands up straight. “I am being honest. I think you’re the most gorgeous girl in Hawkins.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not! Your acne does not make you any less beautiful to me.” He takes a step closer into your space, his eyes remaining on yours. It’s a little thing but you notice it. Most people’s attention is on the skin of your face but Steve is staring straight into your eyes, almost like he’s seeing into your soul. It makes you feel vulnerable.

Your heartbeat speeds up and you can feel your heart thumping loudly in your chest at his closeness. His hand comes up to your face and he pushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “I want to take you out because I like you. I like spending time with you. I like how you make me laugh. I like how you fix my hair when you notice it’s messed up. I like how you lie to customers from time to time.” That pulls a smile from you. “ I like how you look at me. Because I look at you the same way.”

“Are you serious?”

“As death.” He places his hand over his heart. 

“I don't feel pretty enough for you, Steve. There are so many girls who’d do anything to be with you. You should be with someone who looks and feels as pretty as you are.”

“You think I’m pretty?” There’s a cocky smirk on his face.

“Was that all you heard?” You scrunch your face.

“No. I’m sorry. I was joking,” he chuckles nervously. “If you don’t feel ‘pretty enough’ for me,” he uses air quotes, “I want to help you feel that you are. I want you to show you how beautiful I think you are. I want to take you out and show you off because you deserve it. You deserve to be treated like a princess because that’s who you are.”

You almost tear up at his words. He seems to genuinely mean what he says and it’s quite literally pulling on your heartstrings. “Really?”

“Really. Let me take you out, please.”

“Okay.” Your voice is barely above a whisper but it’s enough for him to hear. The smile on his face is huge as he wraps his arms around you tightly, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around. You laugh and hold onto him tightly.

“Yes! You won’t regret it, I swear.” 

When he finally places you back on the ground, he keeps his arms around you, no space between you two as your bodies are pressed together. 

His eyes dart to your lips. “Can I kiss you or is that like reserved for the first date?”

It pulls another smile from you. “It is, but I’ll make an exception for you.”

It’s all you need to say before he kisses you, a hand coming to rest on the side of your neck, fingers in your hair. It’s gentle and sweet but oh so perfect.

“How about tomorrow night? We’re both off.”

“How do you know my work schedule?” You narrow your eyes at him.

He shrugs, a mischievous smirk on his face.

“So?”

“Tomorrow works.”

He presses a small peck to your lips before pulling away and backing towards his own car. “I’ll pick you up at 7 then.”

“Sure.”

“See you tomorrow, pretty girl.” His nickname for you causes your cheeks to heat up and you grin.

Maybe you should’ve given into him and his relentless begging sooner. 

[railingsofsorrow]

you're not fine.

a/n: 100% self indulgent.

pairing: s.reid x reader

warnings/content: this may imply past unhealthy relationships; hurt/comfort; grammar mistakes cause I didn't edit it.

“you're not fine.”

you halted at the doorway, silence wrapped around both of you like a bomb about to go off. he waited for you to fire back something, probably tell him off for pushing your buttons the whole day. and you wanted to do that, you swear to god you did, but something stopped you. maybe the two people talking quietly in the bullpen because their shift was over and they were going home. or your task of taking the files back to hotch's office since you had finished filing out your paperwork. you don't know exactly what stopped you, but it did.

and he took advantage of your hesitation to shut the door and stand between you and the exit.

“please, tell me what's going on.”

“so you can hang it over my head too?”

when you said it, the regret came instantly. spencer's furrowed brows slowly smoothed into a flat line upon grasping the situation. he wasn't one of the best profilers for nothing and you hated that. you hated that he could read you as fast as he read 20 000 words per minute.

his tone was soft, careful. “i won't do that. I just want to listen.”

your glare at him turned into a blinking mess while you stopped your tears from falling. it was pathetic, really. the fact that one person asking if you were okay made your heart drop, but the nail in the coffin was someone affirming you that you were, in fact, not fine and they could see it.

all your life, people made sure to throw back at you the most vulnerable moments you shared with them. and they'd blame your pain and tell you to toughen up because other people had it worse than you and life wasn't easy. just deal with it. just deal with it. you did deal with it. you have been dealing with it but there were some days where it hit harder and some moments in which you couldn't breathe.

and sometimes you wanted to cry. like right now. you wanted to go home, curl up under your favourite blanket and cry your heart out.

“i'm sorry if someone invalidated your feelings.” spencer carried on, risking placing a hand on your shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. you inhaled shakily. “but I'm telling you that I want to hear you and I won't ever use it against you anytime. just let me be there for you.”

you nodded, sniffing and rubbing your eyes like a sleepy child. you let him take you into his arms and time froze for a moment as you basked in spencer's warmth. a moment you needed.

for the first time in months you were vulnerable and it felt freeing.

[wandascosmic]

your boyfriend, he's upset (4)

wanda maximoff x fem!reader

part four of 'you belong with me' series

summary: basically a wanda series inspired by jim and pam from the office

word count: 2596

tags: slight homophobia, best friends to lovers, reader's so in love, wanda's as oblivious as it gets, to reader's feelings and her own, reader messing with sam even more, wanda joins in on the pranks, we hate vision in this one

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

“Hey,” Sam whispers to you as you’re reading over your files by the copy machine. “So, listen, I was thinking that it might be a good idea if you and I formed an alliance, you know, ‘cause of the downsizing.” 

You nod slightly, still keeping your eyes on your papers but acknowledging the fact that you’re listening to him. There was a rumor going around that Tony was possibly being forced by corporate to remove a couple of his staff, and because Sam was Tony’s biggest suckup, naturally he was worried about being laid off. You and Wanda had talked about it earlier, and you both weren’t too worried, since you knew you would remain friends. Plus, the only good part about your job in your opinion was seeing Wanda every day, so that would probably be the driving force that would make you miss this place at all.  

“Would you like to form an alliance with me?” he asks lowly, like the two of you were on some sort of top-secret mission. 

You meet his gaze, narrowing your eyes and looking over your shoulder as if to ensure no one was eavesdropping on your conversation. “Absolutely, I do,” you respond under your breath, imitating his spy-like tone of voice. 

“Good, good,” Sam answers, crossing his arms and scowling around at the members of the office. “Okay, now we need to figure out who’s vulnerable, and who’s protected,” he points a finger to emphasize his point. 

Sam continues to speak about his plan for the two of you, but you don’t hear him over the excitement bubbling up in your chest as he presents to you a way you can finally get back at him for all the times he’s annoyed you. Your mind runs through a million different ideas of how to prank him, and you try not to smile to give it away, doing your best to maintain a serious expression.  

“Just one other thing, and this is important,” Sam states, and you snap out of your thoughts to play your role once more. 

You lean closer to hear him clearly. 

“This alliance is completely secret, ok? You cannot tell anyone about this.” 

You nod, holding out your hand for him to shake. He takes it with a firm grip. 

*** “An alliance?” Wanda asks with a laugh.  

“Oh, yeah,” you shrug, leaning over her desk, acting nonchalant but giving her a look to indicate that it’s a joke to you too. 

“What does that even mean?”

You break out into a smile. “I don’t know, I think it has something to do with ‘Survivor’, but I’m honestly not sure,” you joke. 

Wanda chuckles at your jest. 

“It’ll definitely involve spying on people, and we may build a fort in accounting,” you finish amusingly as she grins. 

“Y/N!” Sam interrupts from across the room, your head snapping up to turn towards him by the fake tree in the middle of the office. 

He narrows his gaze at you and Wanda suspiciously. “Can I talk to you for a second about…the paper products?” he lies, beckoning you over with a gesture of his hand. 

“Good luck,” Wanda whispers to you. 

You wink at her before walking over to meet Sam in the kitchen. 

Wanda watches your retreating from with a smile and an amused shake of her head. 

***

Slamming the door closed, Sam wastes no time in confronting you. “Did you tell Wanda about the alliance?” he accuses, pointing a finger at your chest. 

“What? No-” you respond as if his accusation is completely ludicrous.

“Just now!” Sam shouts at you. 

“Oh,” your eyes widen in fake realization. “Oh, no, no, no, Sam, no. I’m using her,” you clarify. “For the alliance.” 

Sam looks at you skeptically. 

“Who knows the most information about this office? Wanda!” you explain. 

“Right, that’s good, keep doing it,” Sam says, watching Wanda work at her desk in suspicion through the kitchen window. 

“Well, I’m trying to,” you answer. “Do you see what I’m doing?” 

“Mhm,” Sam continues to analyze all of Wanda’s actions. 

“But listen,” you get his attention, turning him back around to face you. “I’m gonna have to talk to her a lot, all right?” Sam nods. “And there may be chatting, and giggling, alright? And you gotta just pretend to ignore it, got that? Wipe it away.” 

“Done,” Sam says. 

“All right,” you acknowledge, patting him on the back and leaving the kitchen to head to your desk. 

***

“You’re not gonna believe this,” you tell Sam in the parking lot between the cars, pacing back and forth with your arms crossed and a scowl on your face.  

“What?” he asks with worry. 

“Bruce and Nat,” you pause, stepping closer to him. “They’re forming an alliance,” you admit. 

“What? How do you know?” he asks disbelievingly. 

“I saw them talking at lunch,” you lie. In reality, they were talking about their favorite sandwich shop in New York and they let you join in on the fun. You actually managed to learn a lot more about the history of ham and cheese. “And if Bruce is in HR, and Nat is in accounting, think about it.” 

“Oh, they are forming an alliance!” he grunts angrily, kicking the tires of a red car in front of the two of you. 

“Okay, listen,” you tell him. “We need to assume that everyone in this office is forming an alliance, and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.” 

“God, damn it! Why us?” he asks up at the sky. 

You hold his shoulder as he makes eye contact with you. “Because we’re strong, Sam. Because we’re strong.”  

***

“Hey, Y/N? Can I talk to you for a second?” Wanda asks, her arms crossed as she comes up to your desk, seeming as if something was weighing her down. 

“Sure, what’s up?” you ask, swiveling around in your chair to face her. 

“Um, I don’t know, I’m just going a little crazy,” she explains. “‘Cause I keep overhearing all of these conversations between Tony and corporate.” 

Sam’s ears perk up as he hears Wanda’s confession from his desk next to yours. 

“And they’re all about like, staff issues,” she continues.

You smirk as you see Sam’s brows furrow out of the corner of your eye as he pretends to keep reading his magazine.  

“Oh, no,” you respond, leaning your elbow on your chair’s armrest and putting your chin in your hand. 

“Yeah,” she agrees. “And he’s making me take notes on all these meetings, and I’m like, “These people are my friends,”” she says with worry. 

“Right,” you acknowledge. 

“But he’s all like, “This is confidential, you can’t tell anybody,”” she imitates. “But I don’t know, I just feel like I need to tell somebody, you know?”

“Yeah, of course,” you assure her. 

“Anyways, just promise me you’re not gonna say anything?” she asks you nervously and pulling her sleeves over the back of her hands. 

“I will not tell anybody,” you promise. “This is between you and me.” 

“Okay,” she says with relief and blows out a puff of air. You get out your chair and follow her back to her desk. 

“I didn’t know you were an actress, Maximoff, that was perfect,” you whisper to her, stopping at reception, and drumming your fingers on the table.

“All in a day’s work, L/N,” she repeats your phrase back to you with a cheeky grin as she sits back down.

You shake your head in amusement. That was all her idea too. Leaning on your elbow and putting your head in your palm, you admire her quietly as she starts typing on her computer, giving you small smiles every now and then. You sigh softly, she’s so amazing.

***

“Okay, here’s the deal,” you let Sam know in the kitchen, locking the door and peeking through the window to make sure no one’s listening. “Wanda says that one of the alliances is meeting in the warehouse during Jennifer’s birthday party later today.” 

“Oh my god, we have to be there!” Sam responds. 

“I know! But it’s gonna be a little tough because there’s no good place to hide down there,” you explain. 

“No, no, yes there is behind the shelves- oh my God,” Sam’s eyes widen. 

“What is it?” you ask with curiosity. 

“I know exactly what to do.” 

***

“This is not what I had in mind, Sam,” you say as he steps into the large cardboard box in the middle of the warehouse. 

“Shut up, this is gonna be perfect, Y/N. It’s got a central location, and it’s the perfect cover. I can see and hear everything,” he answers. 

“Okay, good,” you respond, as he sits down in the box. “Wait, this isn’t gonna work, the lids open,” you let him know. 

“So tape it down,” he answers obviously. 

“I can’t do that,” you squat down at his level. “You won’t be able to breathe.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Look, I can breathe just fine, okay, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll poke holes in the box.” 

“Thank you, okay,” you nod, standing up and closing the lid. 

“God, you’re so needy, Y/N,” he says. 

“Yeah, thank you, Sam,” you say sarcastically. “So, do you want me to stay here, and you know, stand next to the box?” 

“No,” he retorts, opening up the lid from the inside. “You need to go upstairs to the party, so people don’t notice that we’re both gone.”

“Right. That’s good.” 

You poke a couple of holes in the box as well as two peepholes before taping the lid shut.  

Letting Sam know that you’re finished, he tells you to leave to go to the party. “All right, let me know if you hear anything,” you tell him, walking backwards slowly, and trying your best to hold in your laughter. 

Once you’re at the bottom of the staircase you turn to rush upstairs to let Wanda know about what your shared scheme has led to. 

***

“He’s in a box?” Wanda asks disbelievingly as she looks up at you from her chair. 

“Wanda, he’s in a box!” you laugh, eating a bite of Jennifer’s birthday cake and leaning further over her desk.  “He’s downstairs, in a box, on the floor near the shelves.” 

Wanda laughs. 

“I’m serious! Go down there, check it out, and work your magic,” you say as you point your fork at her with a mischievous grin. 

Wanda bites her lip in mischief, nudging her head towards the stairs for the two of you to go mess with Sam even more. 

Wanda steps down the stairs loudly to make sure Sam can hear her arrival, while you trudge behind her as quietly as possible ready to watch the scene unfold before you.

Stopping at the last few steps, you point towards the box Sam is in, and Wanda walks towards it, pulling out her phone. 

“Hey, where are you?” she says as if she’s on an important call. “Yeah, we were supposed to meet here.” 

You bite your fist to hold in your laughter. 

“What?” Wanda says with fake shock. “Oh my gosh,” Wanda says as she covers her mouth to hold in her laughter. “That ties in perfectly with something that Tony was telling me earlier!” The two of you look at each other with enormous grins as you both notice Sam trying to tear open the box from the inside with his pocket knife. “Yeah, I just don’t know what people, in like, accounting are gonna do,” she says as if she’s stressed. “It said specifically that-” 

Sam falls over in his box and the two of you nearly burst out in hysterics. 

With Sam letting out a groan of pain, Wanda shuts her phone and runs towards you with a huge smile on her face and grabs your hand absentmindedly, the two of you unable to control your laughter as you both make your way back upstairs. 

***

“Wanda!” you say excitedly as you run around her receptionist's desk to stand behind her chair. “I have something that totally tops the box.” 

“Oh, tell me, tell me,” she says eagerly looking up at you. 

“Okay,” you start with a big smile on your face. “I have just convinced Sam that he needs to go to Stamford, and spy on our other branch.” 

Wanda muffles her laughter with her hand. 

“No, no, no!” you continue. “But before he does so, I told him that he should dye his hair to go undercover.” 

“Oh my god,” Wanda says, putting her head in her hand as she tries to stop her overwhelming urge to fall to the floor in hysterics. 

The two of you break out into a fit of laughter together, and in the heat of the moment, you wrap one of your arms around her shoulder and place your palm there and hold her hand with the other. 

“If we can get him to drive to Connecticut, and put peroxide in his hair,” you continue through your laughter, the two of you unable to stop your giggles. 

“What the hell is this?” 

Your heart drops as you hear the sound of Wanda’s fiance. Stopping your laughter immediately, you take a big step away from Wanda and turn your head, making direct eye contact with Vision. 

“What are you trying to cop a feel or something, L/N?” he asks in anger. 

“No, no, no-” you try to explain. 

Vision’s anger overcomes him further and he starts to stalk towards you in rage. You take a couple steps back in fear away from him. 

“Vis! Hey, hey, stop!” Wanda interrupts, putting herself between the two of you and placing the palm of her hand on Vision’s chest.

Wanda looks at you wide-eyed as Vision continues to glare daggers at you. 

“God, I don’t even know how to explain this,” you say awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck. Whether that was in fear or nervousness you didn’t know, but this was definitely not an ideal situation. “Um,” you clear your throat. “Sam asked me to be in an alliance,” you state, almost laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. “And, um, we were, we’ve just been messing with him, you know, because of the whole alliance thing.” 

“Yeah, it’s just office pranks,” Wanda explains to her fiance, rubbing his arm to calm him down. 

“Exactly, it’s just office pranks,” you agree. 

“An alliance, what the hell is he talking about?” Vision asks Sam who stands by the fake tree. 

You look at Sam, silently apologizing and urging to explain the situation. 

 “I have absolutely no idea,” Sam replies, ignoring the situation before him and plopping down at his desk to make his sales calls. 

Your mouth parts slightly in shock. 

Vision looks at you angrily. “C’mon,” he tells Wanda, shoving her in the direction of the door while never breaking eye contact with you. Wanda tries to give you an apologetic look as she walks out but you don’t manage to meet her gaze as her fiance continues to intimidate you. 

Once Wanda’s outside, Vision stalks even closer to you, and at this point you’re nearly completely back to back with the wall. “You know she’s not gay, right?” he tells you venomously. 

Gulping, you nod. 

He narrows his eyes at you in anger, before finally deciding to walk out and follow his fiance. 

Standing awkwardly at Wanda’s empty receptionist’s desk, you walk quietly towards the ledge and lean onto your elbows, and sigh softly into your hands.

part 5

[kazumist]

THE NAME OF LOVE .ᐟ

✩ — the three times hoshina soshiro dismissed his feelings for you as something that friends do and the one time he realized otherwise.

✩ — request: IVE BEEN WANTING TO REQ U SOMETHING FOR SO LONG NOW I HOPE U DONT MIND !! can i ask for hopeless romantic reader and hoshina soushirou.... the way he... is...... (LOVE PESSIMIST 🫵) I'm a sucker for hoshina falling first or confessing first but it is truly up to you!! i genuinely have no idea where im going with this so pls feel free to change anything to your liking

✩ — includes: hoshina soshiro x gn!reader. fluff. cw: uhm funky pacing bc this is just pure word vom LAWLZ. wc: 3583 (i did not expect for it to be this long i swear). reader works for operations and is considered as second best to okonogi (is also okonogi's assitant). ikaruga and okonogi cameo yipee! hoshina is bad at feelings ™. reblogs and feedback are much appreciated !!

to love is something you cannot name.

that’s a saying that stitched itself onto your brain because it just makes sense. loving someone has way too much depth, depending on the person who is the one lending out their heart and who they are giving it out to in the first place. it could be named as anything, depicted as anything, or interpreted as anything.

especially for you, who had witnessed, watched, read, and consumed all sorts of media that named love as numerous things. sometimes love is tragic, making two people feel so much just for them to get pulled away from each other when they were so close to running into each other’s arms. sometimes love is mirthful, having two people become the best versions of themselves around the person they love because they feel safe becoming vulnerable with the other. yet sometimes love is bittersweet, accepting the art of letting go as it was for the best—accepting that things weren’t just meant to be but not forgetting the emotions the person made you feel.

well, how were you supposed to know what love really is? a hopeless romantic is hopeless for a reason.

having a day off is quite rare, even for the employees of the operations department. the work was quite demanding, as any job involving the JAKDF was. but you still made time to relax and enjoy your rest from time to time, whether that was rewatching a good old romcom film from the 2000s or reading a new romance novel you decided to pick up.

it was normal for a hopeless romantic to dream. to fantasize. that maybe they could experience an extraordinary love like it is portrayed in films or described in songs. so naturally, as a hopeless romantic yourself, you weren’t any different. you just wanted to experience love—to be loved.

then again, liking someone does count as experiencing romance in a sense. admiring someone with traits the public doesn’t really notice is… rare. but that’s how it always went with you. though you wouldn’t really say that you actually acted upon your feelings, they're usually be gone once that person has stepped out of the current environment you’re in.

that’s how it was before.

vice captain hoshina was a respectable man. he is talented, and he sure as hell knows it. as the ton put it, you and the vice captain had a strange relationship—nobody really knows what to call you two. as the secondary leader of operations and okonogi’s assistant, it was only natural to be in the presence of the vice captain most of the time. but there’s just something different when it comes to how you two treated each other.

from flirtatious remarks and confusing gestures that you aren’t sure if you’re supposed to interpret as romantic, just what were you to the vice captain? you’ve observed long enough that he only does this to you. though you don’t really hate it. in fact, you like it that he’s only like that to you—but you weren’t supposed to like him, you swear! but honestly speaking, how could you not? you had plenty of reasons to like the vice captain in that way. you just pray that no one has really noticed it.

however, okonogi wasn’t stupid. she gets praised for her analytical skills for a reason and you wish she didn’t have to use those skills when it came to your romantic interest in the vice captain of all things. she promised to keep it a secret, though, and keeping secrets is a thing okonogi was really good at (to your surprise).

— — — — — — — — 

the first time hoshina denied his feelings for you was when he overheard some rookies talking about you.

“(l/n) is such a blessing to the third division, don’t you think?” one said as the other hummed in agreement. “i know, right? they’re so nice! did you know that they helped me once? they gave me tips on what i should do to enhance my combat power for my fighting style; it was really helpful too!” the rookie beamed. hoshina had an unsettling feeling churning inside of him as he eavesdropped on the conversation. but he quickly shook it off, thinking that he probably ate something funny earlier.

but why hasn’t he received such treatment from you? you were closer to him than some rookies, right? 

right?

wait, what the hell is wrong with me? hoshina thinks, snapping out of his earlier thoughts. he was not jealous of some rookies. those were just rookies, for christ’s sake! hoshina walks away, only to be greeted by the sight of you and ikaruga talking this time.

“thanks again for the film recommendation the other day, (l/n). i didn’t expect to enjoy it so much—you were completely right! it did suit my preferences,” he excitedly says. hoshina watches silently, observing everything in detail. and one thing he notices is that ikaruga is standing close to you—way too close than he preferred.

“really? i’m glad you liked them, ikaruga. feel free to ask for more film recs when you’re free.” you laughed at his enthusiasm. ikaruga had always been a fun person to converse with, in your opinion. and you two bonded over films! but it was really nothing more than that. “will definitely do!” he replies, giving you a two finger wave as he excuses himself.

he was definitely not jealous. why would he be jealous in the first place? you two were just friends.

and friends don’t get jealous like this.

— — — — — — — — 

the second time was when he was undergoing recovery after the whole fiasco of the tachikawa base raid. everyone was exhausted. it was fortunate that the third division didn’t get any casualties during the incident; the majority of the troops were only injured for the most part. soshiro was counted among the severely injured troops but he doesn’t regret it one bit.

or so he thought.

soshiro wakes up slowly, blinking and squirting his eyes at the sudden brightness of the light above him. he felt a weight on the side of his bed when he tried to get up, as if something (or someone) was pressing down on the blanket. looking down, he wouldn’t mistake your hair for anyone else. he knew it was you with just a glance.

and there you were, sleeping softly on the side of hoshina soshiro’s bed. soshiro takes note of your appearance that he could see right now—which was really just your messy hair. he gets up, making sure that you don’t wake up. it is likely that the operation has not had much sleep up to this point, which is why you ended up sleeping in his hospital room of all places.

he feels bad. a hand slowly reaches out to your head, stroking it ever so gently. if he were to be honest, he was worried for he operations team during the attack. he recalls regularly checking in to see if things were okay on your end, and you kept reassuring him that everyone was unscathed. his other hand reaches out to his phone on his bedside, checking to see if he missed anything. he was unconscious until now, he thinks. and the text from okonogi just confirmed all of his suspicions.

you’re probably still unconscious by the time i sent this, but they’ve been there every day since you got admitted. 

that’s all the message contained. soshiro glances at you again, a soft smile tugging on his lips. he doesn’t get why okonogi felt the need to send him that text, but the thought of you waiting for him to be conscious again made him feel… warm inside. but it all went away as he pulled back his hand from your head as you stirred awake. you raised your head, adjusting yourself to be in a more comfortable position as you rubbed your eyes with your knuckles. 

shock was an understatement when you realized that he was finally awake.

“vice captain! i—sorry, i didn’t mean to sleep on your bed. wait, are you okay? does anything hurt?” he just stared at your eyes, trying to process something. shock was still present in your eyes, and relief was mixed in them too. you noticed him not answering anything you said. worried that he might be suffering from some aftereffects, you asked him again. “uhm… vice captain hoshina?”

he snaps out of it as soon as he hears his name. “sorry, i was just thinking. what were you saying?”

“er… is there something on my face? you’ve been staring at my face the whole time since i woke up…”

hoshina blinks once. twice. then thrice. before he focuses his gaze on something else, looking away from you. you held back a laugh at the sight of red tinting his ears as he apologized for his actions. 

“i’m glad you’re alright, vice captain.”

hoshina freezes. he didn’t expect those words to have a bigger impact on him than they do now. but this is all natural, isn’t it? friends worry about each other. friends wish and hope that the other is okay.

yet why does he feel bitter when he labels this as something that friends—no, snap out of it. he thinks.

“i’m glad you’re alright too.”

— — — — — — — — 

the third time was when you were sent to work to the first division of all places. he was completely against it, of course, but he doesn’t have any concrete reason to actually protest against it. 

it was quite boring to not have you there. he didn’t really have anyone to disturb anymore. and the sudden change in the vice captain’s demeanor doesn’t go unnoticed by the platoon leaders. sure, he still had the same toothy grin on his lips, with his fang peeking out ever so often but deep down, you can’t really point out if it was genuine.

after all, hoshina soshiro was good at concealing his emotions and thoughts.

but then again, okonogi wasn’t stupid. it pains her to be the one who’s stuck between the vice captain and her subordinate. soshiro was the same as the night he didn’t get to neutralize kaiju no. 8 back then. shoulder slumped, arms crossed, a slight pout on his lips, and an expression that clearly stated he was pondering about something—or perhaps someone?

“you miss them, don’t you?” okonogi suddenly asks as she organizes the paperwork in front of her. working with hoshina when it came to paperwork wasn’t really new, except for this time because you would also be present in times like these. “miss who?” he decided to play dumb (or is the right term indenial?)

“please don’t make me spell it out for you, vice captain.” she replied, pushing up her glasses.

hoshina doesn’t reply, zoning out as he thinks about okonogi’s words. well, it wasn’t really false that your sudden absence had changed things in the vice captain’s usual routine. he doesn’t see you making a cup of coffee after he finishes training in the middle of the night. nor does he see you drowning yourself in research at the library when you’re not in the operations room, where soshiro would personally lend you a hand and provide his own insights on whatever you’re researching.

oh. 

oh.

he does miss you.

but that’s just normal, right? friends miss each other. and friends tend to leave sometimes but they will always come back when the time is right. however, the head of operations for the third division didn’t have to be some kind of genius to put two and two together. 

the vice captain has some sort of interest in you as well; he just hasn’t realized it himself.

— — — — — — — — 

the day you returned from the first division was the day everything went back to normal for soshiro.

it was currently a quarter after one in the morning, and he had just finished his training. he ended up going more overtime than usual, but if he hadn't, he probably would’ve missed the open door to the library at this hour. and of course, being the ever so curious man he is, he takes a peek in.

and again, there you were. but this time, you were drowning yourself again in research. your hair was a bit messy, and the eyebags doesn’t go unnoticed by him. yet in spite of that, soshiro still found your appearance to be lovely. maybe it was just the fatigue from his training, or perhaps it’s the thought of you being so determined in your work that sparked such a thought in him.

regardless of what the reason actually was, soshiro found your appearance lovely despite it all.

“you should head to bed soon.” he says, approaching the table you were currently working on. you looked up, surprised to see him awake at this hour. but you put your focus back on your work, not even giving him a second glance—which surprised the vice captain. he reads on whatever you were working on, noticing that they were mostly reports of kaiju no. 9. 

“researching on kaiju no. 9, i see. need a hand?”

“there’s just something off about him and i can’t put my finger on it. also thanks, but no thanks. i can handle this myself, vice captain.”

“it’s almost two in the morning, are you sure about that?”

he didn’t quite catch on to what your reply was, but he was positive that you just declined his offer either way. hoshina decides to pull up the chair beside you and grab the small stack of reports in front of you. he rotates the lamp a bit in his direction, but just enough to leave some light for you to read as well if you needed to.

you sigh at him. “vice captain, you really don’t have to—”

“but i want to. it’s the least i could do.”

truth be told, you really can’t bring yourself to be in the presence of the vice captain now. everything was just confusing. you were aware that the vice captain doesn’t really like paperwork in general (who even likes paperwork in the first place?) but you don’t get why he’s so insistent on helping you every time he finds you here.  

you don’t get why he likes your company so much. you considered yourself to be plain, a bit mundane for someone to actually spend some time with. especially when your interests don’t really spark any others for the most part. 

and while you may be a hopeless romantic, you weren’t foolish. even if you like the vice captain who’s currently making an effort to help you with your work, he’s just way out of your league. he’s too high to reach, and you were sure as hell that he would never actually look at you in that way. not now, not ever.

but why? why does a part of you keep saying that maybe he does? he wouldn’t do all of that if he didn’t actually look at you in that way, right? hope is a dangerous thing for someone who doesn’t know how to stop. for someone like you who refuses to give up on most occasions. it was stupid. foolish. naive.

not now, not ever would hoshina soshiro actually look at you that way.

“vice captain, please get some rest.”

“i could say the same to you.”

god, why is this man so stubborn? is he not tired from all the late night training he does? you thought, slowly getting frustrated. hoshina tells you his observations based on the reports in his hands and shares his hypothesis on the matter. he had some valid points and he’s lending a great hand at the moment. but frustration was just getting the best of you at the moment from your numerous trains of thought.

“the fact that he can adapt so easily is scary in itself. and the recent report of him breaking in the operations room in the first division states that—”

“why are you doing this?” you cut him off.

hoshina stares at you, dumbfounded at your question. he opens his mouth to answer, but no words actually come out of him. he chuckles bitterly in his mind. soshiro would like an answer to that question as well. but then it dawned on him. every flashed across his mind in seconds, and he finally realized it.

yet the result of that still scared him.

he was in love. hoshina soshiro is in love—with you nonetheless. the person he swore was just a friend. it took him quite a while to realize it, always being in denial that it was just normal for friends to act the way you two were. but he was in love. and that scared him. because what is he supposed to do when he finally realizes that you have consumed him? he never wanted this to happen, not in a million years.

but perhaps he was in love with you long before he started tripping along the lines of being friends and something more.

why are you doing this? your question echoed in his head. because i love you, he swallows back down his throat. he can’t say it. there’s no way things would work out. he could die any day and he’d rather not see you miserable because of his death. it would be better if you found someone else—but how ironic. he couldn’t really handle the thought of you being with someone else in the first place.

why are you doing this? your question echoes again. “because i love you.” he finally says, hesitant even. hesitant to know what you’re reaction was going to be. your eyes went wide at the sudden confession, and hoshina was certain that you wouldn’t believe him (well, he couldn’t really believe it either). “you’re kidding me,” you replied.

“i’m not.”

and surely enough, the look on the vice captain’s eyes said it all. he was dead serious. "i... why?” it's ten past two in the fucking morning, and you were too scared to accept that all of this was occurring right now, so you were afraid to ask. you were too scared to just randomly wake up and realize that maybe it was all a dream. too scared to believe that your feelings are being reciprocated.

“because you’re different—different to me, if that makes sense. it’s like you have this effect when it comes to me. food tastes better whenever i share a meal with you; my day just feels more peaceful whenever i get to see you’re doing fine, and i realized that maybe i haven’t actually looked at you like a friend or coworker for as long as i can remember; i was just too stupid to realize it earlier.” he avoids his gaze for a moment before looking at you again.

“i love you. i want you to look at me and love me too. we’ve come too far to turn back. i’m already too deep into you.”

you were speechless. 

he loves you. he loves you. he loves you. it repeated like some sort of chant inside of your head as you processed everything. hoshina soshiro loves you back—who would’ve thought? you hadn’t realized that he was sitting so close to you. the tension was so thick, but you easily cut it down as you started with your response.

“you’re an amazing man, vice captain, and i truly cannot grasp how you could feel such feelings towards me, but i love you too.” you could see hoshina jump in his seat in shock at your confession, but you continued. “i love you in ways you have never been loved, for reasons that you may not have been told, for longer than you think you deserve and with more than you will ever know existed inside of me. yet i can’t help but still wonder… how? why? wait no, why was already answered—”

he chuckles at you. stopping you with your words. “what’s so funny?” you pouted at him. “it’s nothing. i just can’t believe that we’re seriously having this moment at two in the morning.”

“sorry, i think that may have been on my part. i kind of snapped there because i was just so… confused.”

“confused?”

“yeah, confused if we’ve crossed the line between friends or lovers without actually realizing it. crazy, right?”

hoshina moves a bit closer to you, making the distance between the two of you smaller than before. he puts his forehead against yours. “not really, but i look at you, and i just love you, and it terrifies me. it terrifies me what i would do for you. i’m in love but i’m also terrified—that’s what i think is crazy.”

“then let’s be terrified together,” you whispered to him.

a soft laugh leaves his lips this time. “i like the sound of that.” he whispers back.

he loves you.

and you love him back.

that’s all what matters.

love, in general, can make you feel all sorts of things. joy, confusion, anger, fear, and many more. it can also make you do all sorts of things. it can make you do things you never really imagined doing for or with someone in the first place. it tends to be irrational—ridiculous, even. but the thought of doing all of it for the person you care most about? you finally realized that’s simply what love is all about for you.

to love is something you truly cannot name.

[psychotrenny]

One of the more depressing effects of systemic transmisogyny is the way some trans women get so desperate for any validation thar they start praising chasers. And not just specific chasers who gave them an apparently "good" experience, but with the entire concept of chasers as a whole. It's like they feel flattered by the idea of people seeing their transness as a positive characteristic, something that makes them attractive and special, while ignoring the way that even "best case" that attraction stems from a place of dehumanisation which sees you as merely part of a class of sex objects rather than an actual individual person. I say "best case" because for many chasers their attraction to transfeminity comes less from a desire for those associated characteristics in a vacuum, an inexplicably desire for girlcock or what have you, but from the vulnerability (both personal emotional and systemically socio-economic) that TMA people experience making them much easier to exploit and abuse

Like Pro-Chaser sentiment is a product of people completely misunderstanding what a Chaser is and what they do. No matter how lonely you are it doesn't do any good to see Chasers as some easy outlet for sex and validation; their treatment of transfems isn't just degrading but is often outright dangerous to an even greater extent than your average TME individual. Not the sort of people you want to be spending any time around

And sometimes you even see this sort of sentiment, this desire to be loved by someone who only loves you as a tranny because at least it's some sort of love you can get as a tranny, creep through when others are treating Chasers in a critical or mocking way. Like the Halimede MF twitter account's whole deal is roleplaying as a (somewhat exaggerated but still recognisable) specific sort of Lesbian Chaser; the "harmless transfeminist girl" if you will. Regardless of what you think of the bit, it's very clearly a bit. It's largely meant to be funny, but certainly not flattering to the kind of chaser Halimede embodies.

Most of the transfems I know recognise this, on one level or another, but you sometimes see girls express an almost genuine longing for her. A desperation for affection so great that it bleeds into how they treat a caricatured depiction of someone that is predatory on a fundamental level, just because it represents a "real woman" capable of feigning some shadow of respect for their identity and struggles despite the obviously dehumanising way with which this character regards trans women and their anatomy. Sure a lot of this "I want Halimede" stuff is just playing along with the joke, but some of it has enough genuine sentiment behind the irony that it makes you worry. To put it in Tumblr terms, HalimedeMF is another example of "You missed the point by idolising her". Which isn't to blame the individuals; the fact it happens at all is just another manifestation of a much larger and more horrible system. But it's saddening how attempts to criticise our oppression, even light-heartedly, can end up just reflecting it back into our faces. We need to do better than this

[bromcommie]

tbh I still think Brock Rumlow was an interesting character and upon further examination way more unsettling a villain than most to me because like. Let’s be real, the second you lay eyes on Robert Redford as Pierce monologuing in his pristine suit and glass office high up in the sky he just screams Evil Politician! at you. You can see it coming a mile away. Meanwhile Rumlow is….Just Some Guy. On the surface, he’s just some side dude. He’s not enhanced, he’s not in some major position of power, he’s just someone who’s really good at what he does and seems dedicated enough to the work and functions well with his team. He respects Steve, might admire him even, but not so much that he gets starry eyed like everybody else. He’s lighthearted but focused, he’s no nonsense, he’s the everyman Steve can relate to way more than spooks like Natasha or Fury.

And okay, maybe what Rumlow does for a living is beat intimidate and kill people, but it’s not like that’s the primary objective, right, because SHIELD are the good guys and this is what Steve does now, too, anyway; except that Steve doesn’t really use any weapons other than the shield, he holds back, he doesn’t carry a gun anymore which is usually fine since he’s dangerous enough without it. But when that leaves him vulnerable, he’s covered: Rumlow’s got his six, and he does it well, and he earns some of his trust. This is familiar to Steve.

And maybe Rumlow’s a little too good, fine, maybe he shoots a guy in the head within the first fifteen minutes of the movie when he doesn’t necessarily have to and then cracks jokes immediately after but that’s alright too, because that guy had Steve at gunpoint and that guy was Bad whereas Rumlow is One of the Good Guys just doing his job, right. Rumlow’s joking around because he’s used to the violence, they’re all used to it, and this is just how it works. They’re just soldiers doing the grunt work and following orders, and this is familiar, too.

Except that they’re not soldiers and this isn’t a war, except that the work is for an intelligence agency whose job it is to hoard and steal information and monitor civilians and orchestrate and sabotage and meddle in internal and external state affairs. Except that the Good Guys, in reality, are extremely grey at best. Except that many of the Good Guys turn out to be Nazis on top of everything else, and it’s not that far of a stretch.

But when it’s all starting to unravel, you’re still thinking well maybe some of these guys didn’t know. Maybe they didn’t do it out of individual belief, and if faced with the right choice, they can be redeemed.

That is until you realize that Rumlow maybe didn’t respect Steve and what he did so much as what Steve could do if only Steve weren’t “weak” in other ways, if Steve had chosen the right side. That it not being personal is less a cop out and more a taunt the same way just following orders has always been, for Rumlow and many many men that came before him and will continue to come after. Until the vault when, by the most charitable of interpretations, Rumlow looks at the Winter Soldier letting himself be smacked around and crying and getting shocked like he’s maybe a little unnerved (if not just downright fascinated) by the whole thing, but not enough that it really changes anything for him, because the end justifies the means and it’s not really his problem, anyway.

Until Sam shows up and Rumlow looks at him like a bird of prey and says This is gonna hurt with a fucking smile on his face, and then you think: shit, man, obviously. How was it not clear from the start.

To me, what makes someone like Rumlow a good villain, even a side one, is not that he’s straight up Insane & Evil™️ or suffering from Tragic Backstory Syndrome or all hopped up on magic superstrength juice or whatever, but precisely the fact that he’s Just Some Guy with a cockroach survival mentality who operates well within the established system and just so happens to be really good at his job - a job that he might’ve even joined thinking it was for a good cause, or because he had something to prove, or simply because it gave him one hell of an excuse to be a bully. Because he either wholeheartedly believes in HYDRA or he just doesn’t give much of a shit either way so long as he gets his due in the end, and both are just as bad.

Because when you strip away all the grand scale superhero theatrics, you’ve seen this before. You’ve seen Rumlows in your school and in your neighborhood and in the military and the cop car patrolling your street. They’re the ones who sometimes say or do somewhat offputting shit but you figure it’s fine because they’re otherwise real nice or charismatic or normal looking, or maybe they work a job that’s framed as helpful or protective or inherently good despite the power dynamics at play, or they share your background and interests and you chat about the weather being crap this time of year.

And every time one of them turns out to be a violent, hateful piece of shit, you’re still somehow surprised then, too, when you really shouldn’t be.

[hyewka]

Like, u got Soobin to use those vibrators on his pants before and during his performance, you're backstage while watching him live, turning on the vibrator at different levels in different times, maybe low level when he's talking with his fans, medium when he starts dancing and the highest level whenever it's his time to sing while he tries his best to concentrate and sing stable while trying not to get a boner or cum during the performance, while noticing the little details of how startled he gets whenever the vibrations starts again and waiting for his performance to end just to drag him to an empty room and finally fuck good

cw. sub leaning switch!soobin, creampie, premature orgasm, f!reader

note. happy valentines everyone ^^

“Don’t cum.” is the last thing you whisper to his ear before you push him out to his fans with a smile, the roaring cheers really showing how big the turn out was tonight. You can tell with the way he turns back to you he’s asking for mercy, begging for it. You just opt to give him a thumbs up before shooing him away, at least to ease those nerves up. You wouldn’t want him to cum simply from thinking about the toy around his cock.

Long story short—you don’t give him mercy. What fun is that?

You watch the way he gets visibly comfortable the more the show progresses and its definitely because he noticed you’ve been keeping the setting on low. It has you snort. He’s such an open book, it’s the cutest thing about him. But it’s also his most vulnerable point.

Experimentally, you turn it up two, curious of how he’d react.

There’s other staff monitoring with you, so you put in the effort to pretend you have nothing to do with the small hiccup that occurs, scrolling through your phone as if you were busy.

Soobin’s voice cracks.

It’s not a big deal, just something that happens that you don’t think even the fans paid much attention to. You notice a lot more than that though when you look up from your screen.

For one, the tips of his ears are red. Really red. You know better, it’s not only because he’s embarrassed. If the fact that you can tell he’s letting his eyes glaze over a little with his mouth hung open when he’s no longer in the center was any indication.

You play with him like that a little more before you decide you might just be the greediest girlfriend ever. You turn it up to its highest setting, just to relish a little more in his little gasps heard in the mic— and god, the immediate reaction you get out of him is the most satisfying thing you’ve seen all week.

Soobin’s eyes shoot wide open almost like hes shell shocked, his breathing’s even heavier, his cheeks are so brightly colored that it could no longer be excused as the bit of blush applied to his face half an hour ago…and he definitely looks like hes checked out. Thats when the comments from the people around you started to pick up.

“What’s wrong with Soobin today?”

“Is he sick?”

“Should we cut the ments short?”

“He looks like he’s about to piss his pants…” — That one had you giggle.

While some were picking at their cubicles, wondering if this might’ve not been the smooth sail they were predicting this gig to be, you let that little small smile break seeing the very obvious boner outlined in his leather pants, leaving the crowd no room for imagination. Oops.

You can only shrug when you’re asked if you know what was up with your boyfriend. “Who knows, maybe its a bad day?”

##########

He’s everywhere—his lips kiss along your jaw then to your neck, sucking and kneading your bare tits at the same time. He’s absolutely delirious tonight.

“You’re so sweaty, gross” you giggle, jokingly pushing him away but hes not having it, caging you until your bodies were flush agsainst each other to the point your breathing cut off momentarily, your head getting light headed.

“Someone’s excited.” you say breathily, attempting to be cheeky but it doesn’t work as your resolve breaks almost immedietley when he sucks particularily rough on your flesh. You’ll have to spend some time covering it up when he’s done with you.

“It hurts,” he whines in your ear, feverishly grinding his hard on like an absolute freak, still leaving wet spit on your vacant flesh. “You were so mean to me, y’know?”

“Was I? Thought I went a little easy on you out there.” you take it upon yourself to put your hand between your bodies and palm him over his pants, releasing a little bit of tension from his poor body. “Maybe you’re just weak. Can’t stay focused on your job because all you’re thinking about is having your dick in my cunt instead, bad boy.”

He nods pitifully—clearly absentminded, eyes teary and clouded as you thumb his tip over his pants, so shamelessly a wet spot spreads and grows under it.

“Please. Let me fuck—y-you.” his breathing staggers, trembles, you feel it against your face with how close he is…and it’s the hottest thing ever. For someone so usually composed, the leader of a band he’s a part of, well spoken and articulate, building tougher skin as time goes by—seeing him being weak in the knees so often, like this, dirty and desperate, never fails to have you drench your panties. He always manages to do it for you every time.

“But baby…there’s staff right outside this room.” you tease with a whine of your own, looking up at him with big eyes, toying with his shirt— you know how the innocent look gets him.

“I don’t care.”

That’s the snap, his voice uncharacteristically low and hoarse. You can’t even get a word in before he has your teeth clash with how fast he props you up around his waist, your back slamming against the door, breathing heavily with his lips on yours, sloppy, fast, quick as he pulls out his cock. It’s still intimidating how big it is, but you don’t even get to think for any longer before he has your panties bunched to the side and the tip of his dick’s protruding your hole.

He doesn’t wait like he usually does, he doesn’t even wait to catch his own breath, biting down on your bottom, languidly bottoming out in one go. You squirm at how full you feel despite how easy it went in, oxygen feeling like a second priority now. “God, fuck, you’re made for me.” he breathes out in awe staring at where you connect, “You take me so well now, look at your pussy baby” he babbles against your lips.

You can’t. You can’t. Your eyes burn with tears, you have no clue whats gotten into you, you could only think of the pleasure and pain of the stretch as he finally moves, thrusting up, his speed getting erratically faster by the second, until you have him buried in your tits, licking and kissing all over them like a dumb dog. Then you hear his muffled groan, and know.

“Binnie…?” you chuckle hoarsely.

“Sorry…” he whines, hiding in your boobs. “You teased me too much up there.” Jesus christ why do you still find him so adorable despite him cumming embarrassingly fast today. Its okay, you’ll have your way with him when you actually get back home later.

[locketsvault]

「 CUDDLING WITH BSD MEN PT 1/4 」

pairings: dazai x reader ፥ kunikida x reader ፥ atsushi x reader ፥ ranpo x reader

tags: gender neutral reader, no agab mentioned, first person, fluff, cuddling/phyiscal affection

warnings: none!

other parts: ada ᨒ port mafia ᨒ doa + the guild ᨒ the hunting dogs

a/n: this should be a complete series, let’s hope I actually manage it lol. no gender or sex mentioned, no pronouns either!

// dazai osamu ⌇˚.༄

⮑ It scares me to say he’s actually a really good cuddler?

⮑ I don’t really see Dazai initiating it at first, and if he did it would mostly be to mess around with you. I think the first time you both cuddle each other is when one of you is not in a good place mentally. Whether that be you, he knows immediately and pulls you into his arms, cradling your head with the back of his hand while holding you close. Or it’s him, tucking his head into your chest or neck, his arm wrapped around your waist afraid to let go.

⮑ Once he gets used to being vulnerable and physically affectionate with his partner I believe he’s very physically affectionate. If he can cuddle with you, he will. In public? Not so much, he’ll stick to holding your hand or letting you rest your head on his shoulder. At home? He’s your personal leech. He blackmails you into cuddles lol. While rereading this I believe he’d be affectionate in public to drive kunikida insane.

⮑ Back to my first point, he’s a very good cuddler. It might not seem like it, especially when you look at his past. Whether or not he’s had experience with physical affection/knows exactly what to do, it doesn’t matter. Look at his personality as a whole, this boy knows how to work people out, and how to please them. His hold feelings secure, sometimes almost too much.

⮑ 9/10 cuddles are very comfortable most of the time, but sometimes you are not allowed to move and damn it you need to pee.

// kunikida doppo ⌇˚.༄

⮑ To be honest I don’t really see him as a cuddler, but he’ll do it for you.

⮑ The thing about Kunikida is that, as we all know, if he’s in a relationship with you he’s serious. And he’ll do anything to please you. So if your main form of affection is physical and you love cuddles, then he will cuddle you. He rarely initiates cuddle time, and usually when he does it’s because he can tell you need cuddles.

⮑ At first cuddles with kunikida are a bit stiff, but after some reassurance it becomes easier. He picks up on your favorite positions, what soothes you, and what irritates you. He writes all of this down ofc. He will never be little spoon during cuddle sessions, nope. Closest you get is him laying his head on your chest, but to him that requires letting someone else take the reins in the relationship which scares him. There are times though when he comes back from a case and is mentally distraught, and holding him is one of the only ways to soothe him.

⮑ Movie nights consist of you laying your body back against his chest, cuddles in bed can be anything in regards of holding you. He won’t admit it but sometimes when a day has gotten to him knowing you’re safe in his arms help. Never in public though, that’s a no no. Especially in front of his colleagues like Dazai. Cuddles are a private matter.

⮑ 7/10, after time he’s cuddles are comforting, but sometimes he misses the mark.

// atsushi nakajima ⌇˚.༄

⮑ He purrs. On accident. That’s the headcanon.

⮑ The first time he purrs you’re both cuddling and he for the first time completely lets his defenses down around you. That plus the fact that his tiger is very found of you, he ends up purring. Poor baby is so flustered and he won’t stop apologizing. It’s cute.

⮑ In my mind he’s 50/50 with his cuddles in the beginning, but it doesn’t take long for him to learn! He’s an orphan and he grew up with no affection, especially not physical. So it’s all new to him. But I definitely see him as a super cuddly person. I think after his first time cuddling you he’d become addicted.

⮑ The first time you two cuddled it was slightly awkward, he didn’t know what was comfortable for him and was afraid of hurting you. How? I don’t know, but he’s Atsushi so anything was possible in his mind. Once he finds the right positions for him and gets used to it he loves physical affection and cuddling. It doesn’t matter who’s holding who. In fact, he loves when they switch it up and his partner holds him sometimes instead.

⮑ Play with his hair and he will always purr. He hated it at first, he felt embarrassed. But after reassurance and realizing it was comforting to you he got used to it. Sometimes when you’re not doing well and you’re cuddling, he’ll purr on purpose to comfort you. This should be a more serious headcanon I’m pffft. In all seriousness he loves cuddling you and his temperature runs high so he’s very warm.

⮑ 10/10 cuddles in my opinion. Warm, comfortable, soft, like cozing up next to a furnace on a nice winter day.

// ranpo edogawa ⌇˚.༄

⮑ Can he even sit still long enough for cuddles?

⮑ Cuddling with Ranpo is like being in a relationship with him, you never know what’ll happen or when it’ll happen. It’s chaotic at best. Whether he has a hard time staying still, focusing on cuddles, or if he’ll ask or initiate them. Even more so, sometimes he likes to mess with you if you ask him to cuddle with you.

⮑ No really he will tease you, in public or private. Which brings me to my second point, he loves pda. He could care less that it makes people uncomfortable. At work? Someone is sitting in someone’s lap, it’s a must. I don’t make the rules. On the train? He’s resting his head against your shoulder either sucking on a lollipop or rambling to you.

⮑ It’s easy to say that the first time you both cuddled it was actually before you two were even in a relationship. Personally I do not see Ranpo dating someone he does not know, so you guys were friends first. And at first, he didn’t really care for being touched or touching anyone. But after a rough case you offered him a hug and he all but melted into your arms. Which can I just say, having him in your arms feels like heaven. He’s so squishy and cute. Holding him while he’s pouting? You’re done for.

⮑ I think it’s safe to say that after long days or tough cases being in your arms and being told he did great today is exactly all he needs. Even sweets can’t compare to that. I now headcanon he calls you sweets, it’ suits him.

⮑ 8/10, he’s very cute and soft, laying against him and taking a nap while he work is a dream. He just can’t sit still for long.

main hub ✦ masterlist ✦ to do list

[tragedy-of-commons]

moments like these

various hsr x gn!reader | wc: ~1.2k

Snippets of vulnerability.

tags/warnings: some angsty parts (march, jing yuan) but it's overall very fluffy, hurt/comfort (march, jing yuan), pining and mush, all rushed but made with love

notes: hi, just wanted to write something, so this isn't exactly polished. had the itch! ft. dr. ratio, march 7th, & jing yuan.

Veritas Ratio, for all of his genius, has no idea what to do.

You've taken the liberty of using his shoulder as your... pillow. As uncomfortable as it must be, you're dozing soundly, the quiet of your office enveloping the both of you in something strangely intimate. Despite his own feelings on your poor decisions, you're still your own person - meaning that you're going to sleep there until he does something about it.

The problem lies therein: he does not want you to get up just yet. Your various projects, which are sprawled out in disarray on your desk, benefit in no way from your exhaustion. The reason he's even here is because you are incapable of taking care of yourself. Your tenacity would be admirable if you could rest without him coming up here to lecture you like he would a pupil on the importance of self-care, and--

...and he has grown quite fond of you. The sofa he'd persuaded you to rest your eyes on is also unfit for a night of sleep, but he took what he could get. Occupied with nothing but a journal in his hand, you just drifted off right then. He is not as unhappy with the situation as he should be. You are no genius, but you are devoid of idiocy. This middle ground is proving troublesome for his own mental health, if your rigorous teasing is anything to go by. 

Veritas Ratio is burdened by the weight of noble pursuits. He wishes not to abandon them.

...so he shall not abandon you alone to nap in your office during these early hours. You, in most ways, are certainly a noble pursuit. It only makes sense that he should continue to uphold this tradition as it stands until it becomes a real issue.

He sighs, searching your peaceful visage for any signs of discomfort. Veritas will remain here until you wake.

"Sometimes I wish I had my memories back," March 7th tells you, voice a sweet whisper. It tickles a hair's breadth away from the shell of your ear, sending a pleasant hum down the trail of your spine. The Astral Express, for once, is ostensibly quiet. Even Mr. Yang and Himeko have to sleep, but there is a reason you haven't slipped into dreamland yourself - there is a conversation to be had between you and your special friend, apparently. "I wonder who I was before."

Your arms, carefully wrapped around her waist, unravel and shrink back to your own sides - you need to sit up for this one. The mattress creaks with your efforts until you are propped up against her headboard. You want to see her face, but she's keen on facing the wall. March 7th almost looks abashed to be so honest, earning a frown from you.

"Hey, look at me," you coax. She complies, turning on her side in her silk pajamas to meet your eye. Through the darkness, her dual-toned gaze is a bit watery, illuminated by the glowing panels of miscellaneous widgets and photographs on her wall. "Uh... If I were in your position, I'd be wondering the same thing too. I know it's gotta be difficult - being separated from your past, I mean."

You... don't know if that was the right thing to say; you've always been bad at comforting others (and she has definitely noticed). Sometimes, during moments like these, when you're giving all that you are able, March will share her burdens as well. You wish nothing more than to assuage her worries. At least you can take pride in the fact that she hasn't started bawling since you opened your mouth.

"It is," she yawns. "I get these nightmares sometimes. Nightmares that I was a horrible person before, and I hurt a lot of people, but having no way of knowing it." She also sits up just enough to rest her head on your chest. The thumping of your heart could produce enough mechanical energy to power a small planetary settlement, you're sure. 

No matter. "Even if you did, the journey you've been on... you're a whole new person now. Like how stars die and become different stars after." You pause after you say it, chest tightening, "Wait, that's not to say your past self has died or anything--"

Suddenly, March 7th's beautiful laugh graces you. Like everything about her, it's sweet and charming and something you'll have to cherish in secret. You feel the pressure of her head lighten as she looks up, not so sad anymore. "Was that your attempt at poetry? You're really trying your best, huh?"

Your cheeks burn hotly. "Yes. Yes, I am."

She wipes her face on her sleeve, looking at you as if you've sewn all the stars in all the infinite skies.

"...then I'm glad that you are apart of my journey."

Some things never change.

This may seem like an ignorant sentiment echoed by the young and naïve, however Jing Yuan is anything but. Time is ephemeral, yes, but within these finite moments, there is room for rigidity; there is room for a basis to fall back on. There is room for you.

You take up so much of his heart that there is little space left for pride or secrecy. You know every contour and groove of his skin by heart - every birthmark and faded scar. This power that would be weaponized by anyone else is held sacred in the safety of your palms. If anything, he wishes to be done in by the likes of you. After all, his end is inching its way towards his doorstep, and he needs to be prepared. Preparation is one of his strong suits as Arbiter General, languid as he seems.

Are you prepared? He dares not ask you upfront, even if it's cowardly. You are not a game of chess to be won, so confrontation seems... iffy. You are knowledgeable and beautiful and everything he could ever want. You know that he cannot live forever, yet something in your gaze always begs him to stay just a bit longer. Just as you know everything about him, there is not a corner of your heart you haven't turned over to him (or so he likes to think), which means the expression on your face right now is child's play to decipher: grief.

You are in mourning already, and he isn't even gone yet. Aeons, he loves you.

"Jing Yuan?" you ask, arms wrapped about his neck like a vice.

He hums. "Yes, dear?"

"Do you believe in fate?" 

The question isn't what he was expecting, which is a bit odd. He takes a moment to ponder your question before allowing himself to lazily smile. What's even more beguiling is that you already undoubtedly know his answer. "To an extent, I see no harm in doing so."

Something in you shifts, the melancholy dulling until what's left is a ray of sunshine peeking through a dense cloud. Yes, it's everything he needs.

"Then let the red strings do the worrying. You're going to get wrinkles," you chuckle, caressing his cheek tenderly.

...ah. You are not grieving. You are simply fretting over him, miracle that you are.

"Well, we can't have that, can we? Come now, there's something I wish to speak with you about..."

[woundedoves]

How They Would Suck Your Blood: Vampires (Sunday, Dr Ratio x Bottom GN!Reader) Headcanons Part 2 (NSFW) ⟡part 1 ⟡part 3

a/n: sunday my savior

CW: Sunday has guilt about being a vampire, biting, blood, slightly violent thoughts on sunday’s part, slight insecurity in Ratio’s part

Sunday

⟡ Sunday hates himself for what he is, he hates himself for deceiving his planet of who he truly is, not a soft hearted, warm angel with a halo but a disgusting creature; walking among his people as if he doesn’t see them as food as soon as he gets a whiff of their blood. Were it not for Robin, he would have banished himself from Penacony a long time ago.

⟡ Regardless, your relationship with him is complicated to say the least. He’s convinced himself that you’re just another servant that just so happens to have the blood that his taste buds enjoy the most, nothing more nothing less.

⟡ At least, that’s what he tells himself as his fangs pierce your flesh, his length throbbing against the fabric of his underwear as he listens to your silent whimpers, your silent breaths, the way the drug that is you; you in your entirety hits his system, he feels like he’s truly reached the heavens.

⟡ He quickly realises that he doesn’t only enjoy your blood, the way your skin feels against his, the way your hands feel in his, the way your lips quiver when his own get way too close than they should to the lips of a servant. These… urges, let’s say, he’s always had them and yet— when you came into the picture they ramped up by a hundred, as they say.

⟡ He’s ashamed to even admit it to himself, ashamed to even think about it but… it makes him feel cathartic as he sits on his desk, agonisingly long papers sit atop his desk as he taps his fingers against his pen, clicking his tongue as his stressed thoughts wander to you. The way you quiver and squirm when he places his hands on your waist to keep you stable, the way you say ‘master Sunday’ when he goes too far with the feeding, the way your hips rut against his gloved hands when they ghost around your clothed sex; you’re oh so angelic when your neck is covered in your own blood, his fangs claiming you as his the moment they grazed your neck.

⟡ He wants to bite down on your pulse, he wants to tear you apart, he wants to cling onto you, tell you to never let go, he sees the want in your eyes, the desire and the love behind your lingering gaze and your lingering touches and yet he feels too ashamed to ever give the satisfaction of indulging…

⟡ His eyes that he didn’t realise were closed snap open as he hears a crack, he broke his pen in a desperate attempt at gripping it to stabilise his sinful thoughts, he sighs as he looks at the inky streaming down from his gloves as he thinks, ”would it be a sin to bite the apple, when I’ve already been born a sinner?”

Dr. Veritas Ratio

⟡ I don’t think he’d see it either as a bad or a good thing, it’s what he is, rather than lamenting and parading around with self pity, he’s taken the initiative to see the safest ways to feed on humans. The only thing is… he thinks the act of feeding on a person is rather… embarrassing.

⟡ He hates to admit it but he can get pretty desperate and messy, so he appreciates the fact that you don’t tease him when he is feeding on you, he is his most vulnerable self in that moment, he’s basically trusting you with his life. To some vampires human blood and the act of feeding on it is just a normal routine, some do it every day some do it every week and some do it every month, ratio does it every week to keep himself stable; and yet he just can’t adapt to it like others have, it’s so private and so vulnerable for him, you’ve seen him shed a few tears sometimes.

⟡ He feels guilty, no matter how much he tells himself that it’s just what he needs to do to survive now it doesn’t take away the fact that he’s drinking human blood now, his best guess is this sensitivity is because he’s been a vampire for roughly a year and a half now; he’s still adjusting.

⟡ You’ve suggested having sex while he feeds on you, his knee jerk reaction was a surprised, “absolutely not!” Though the more he thought about it, the more sense it kind of made. You’d feel good during the feeding and maybe, just kaybe the pleasure clouding his mind could keep his guilty thoughts at bay?

⟡ He was, admittedly, a bit nervous so you took action when he was in the bathtub, his favourite relaxing space as you let your hands wander down into the water, to his cock. He took a sharp breath as he closed his eyes, opening them when he felt the weight of you on his thighs, tapping his favourite spot to feed on on your neck as his hands snake around your form, pulling you closer and capturing your lips in a deep kiss as you sigh with pleasure. You withdraw from the kiss as you levitate yourself upwards a few inches with the help of the water, both of you moaning softly as you sink down on his dick, feeling his body quiver under you as his hips thrust up sharply.

⟡ You whine in pleasure as he sinks his fangs into your neck after peppering the spot with kisses, his hands kneading your ass as you slowly ride his cock, the pleasure has his mind foggy, his body numb and his cock hard, throbbing inside you as the taste of your blood hits his tongue. He should listen to your advice more often… maybe.