#“we accept the love we think we deserve”

[lilacgaby]

CAN I REQUEST A TOUYA FIC IN WHICH HE'S RLY RLY INSECURE AND THEN FINALLY HE CRIES ONE DAY (he has damaged tear glands, remember) AND BLEEDS HIS EYES OUT WHILE CONFESSING THAT HE LIKES US AND HE ACTS LIKE HE HATES US SO THAT WE CAN BE WITH SOMEONE BETTER.

title: better 4 u

pairing: reversecomfort!touya x reader

summary: touya didn't deserve you, he knew there was someone out there better for you.

note: touya makes me so sad :(( like why was he doomed from childhood

as he stared at his scarred face in the mirror, eyeing the roses and chocolates he'd picked out for you, he felt disgusted. he didn't even know how you stood to exist near him, he hated the sight of himself as he passed by puddles, hated the burning on his skin in the rain, even sun would cause him discomfort.

how could you love him if he could barely love himself?

he threw the roses and gift for you on the ground, gripping his head in anger. the sudden noise made you rush to his room and knock on the door.

at the lack of an answer, you still walked in, confused at the items on the ground. "..touya? you okay?"

as he looked at you, he felt small again. he felt judged and he hated it. "go away." he grunted, not looking over at you.

he felt the tears start to accumulate in his eyes, curse his sensitive nature. but you didn't leave, you never seemed to, you walked closer to him and held his hand. his scarred hand stained with blood that would never wash off.

"what's wrong?" how dare you? how dare you make him burst into tears, the blood staining his face and dripping onto the floor as he resisted the urge to start wailing.

his body wracked with sobs as you hugged him close to you. why did you even bother? he was a broken mess.

you led him to sit on his bed, you beside him soothing him, you hadn't said a word yet, waiting for him to speak first. and if he didn't? you wouldn't push it. you never did.

"did something happen?" you asked, rubbing his arm and dabbing at his tears softly.

he shook his head, not trusting his voice right now.

"is it about someone?" he nodded.

"is it about.. me?" his breath hitched and you knew you were right. you brought him closer to you, confused on how you'd upset him.

"yes." he finally said under his breath. "why.. why do you even help me? why are you even with me right now? you could so much better."

you tilted his head up to yours and planted a peck on his lips. "touya, you are the best for me. i love you, not anyone else. don't think that about yourself."

he sniffled, and suddenly felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him.

he didn't feel worthy of your love, but he'd accept it anyway.

"were those flowers on the ground meant for me?"

"...yes."

he knew you loved him in the way you still took care of those wilted flowers and accepted the chocolates that hadn't been on the ground.

he knew you loved him as you held him to sleep and soothed the burning in his skin,

but you set his soul aflame, and he'd love you for that.

[perfectquote]

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

[tamurakafkaposts]

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Stephen Chbosky,

[earthtokhal]

It's 4 a.m., and I woke up still absolutely fuming about yesterday because where was Daniel's team? After everything that happened, where was his management team? Why did THEY allow this to spiral like this?

Daniel's take on all of this was fairly positive until he had a shitty quali and then once again got hounded by the same journalists asking the same questions and then it seems like he just simply accepted it.

I think vcarb, Red Bull, and Daniel's own management team severely mismanaged things.

The cash app guy deleting his video doesn't mean too much to me as I was also very surprised that he posted it in the first place because while he posted it from a "fan/friend" point of view answering in his own capacity, he indirectly answered as his company. He told us, through his own personal ig that the company didn't know.

I do not know what the sponsors have to say about this, visa, cashapp but Hugo, their weekend was greatly overshadowed by mismanagement. If this was to be his last, every single one of those sponsors could have capitalized.

After everything that happened with Mcalren, all I wanted was for him to leave on his own terms. Whether he decided to stay and drive for vcarb again, whether he decided to go to Audi or whether he got the Red Bull seat. I wanted him to be on his terms, but the constant talk surrounding his contract took away any chance of that happening regardless of how and what was decided and so I thought, if this was it, they'd let him announce it properly.

Horner, despite making all that noise about how Mclaren treated him, actually did something worse because Daniel trusted him. Daniel put his career back in Horners hand despite everything and trusted him. I do not think there's anything salvageable of their relationship after Spa and now this mess.

I find the timing of all of this oddly specific. We had so many people cryptic posting just two weeks ago, that photographer saying the general idea is that Daniel would take over the red bull seat and then we went to baku expecting a shit storm and it never came. We were just in the eye of the storm. When the "rumor" dropped this week, I thought what a coincidence that it happened just before media day, and so all the questions shifted from performance or what crash to Daniel and he stood alone in the lions den.

It seems like Red Bull hasn't decided (while it's likely looking like it is what it is) and they chose to remain hot and cold about it like they always have been and it absolutely spiraled.

The media surrounding all of this was absolutely atrocious. They allowed people with less impact on the sport to leave with more dignity. They tore him apart, they questioned every single thing until he stood there, tears in his eyes accepting it. This man is a veteran of the sport. A man whose legacy will have a direct link on the grid next year in Jack Doohan. A man who made an incredible mark on our current world champion. A man who had people looking at red bull last year going "they're always ruthless but this is their son."

And at the end of it all, when they backed him against a wall after a long, frustrating weekend, they're all writing messages for him. They wanted to have their cake and eat it too.

Regardless of what's to come, I hope Daniel is incredibly proud of his perseverance. I hope he knows that despite all the noise, he did what he intended to do, he fell back in love with the sport. He proved to himself he still had it. I hope he knows how many fell in love with the sport because of him and how many people learnt so much about his sport. I hope he truly knows the impact he had on this sport and how despite it refusing to love him back like he deserved, he had shone a light on it so bright that it went global.

Daniel Ricciardo will always be THAT guy, and I hope he knows it.

Whatever happens next, I'm glad I found him, and I'm glad I got to experience him being back on the grid.

[lesbianmarrow]

augh. rewatched btvs 5x22 scene where spike & buffy go to buffy's house to get weapons before the big showdown. them having to retrieve weapons is such an amusingly flimsy excuse to have them go to her house so we can have the scene where she invites him in + he promises to protect dawn + "i know you'll never love me" speech. i love a paper-thin excuse to put 2 characters in a room together. especially when those characters are buffy and spike!!!!!!!!!!!!

it really is so striking the way spike refrains from asking buffy to let him in even though he would be perfectly justified in doing so as it's obvious that buffy has forgotten he's not allowed in. i think part of it is that he wants to make it clear that he will respect the boundaries she has set with him. but i also think part of it is that he doesn't wanna feel the pain of being rejected again, because that fucking hurt. if he doesn't ask then he doesn't have to hear her say no again. it shows how head over heels he is for her and how much he has changed since the beginning of the season, when he was challenging her boundaries so much.

spike's expression when he's walking thru the doorway......it's so endearing and some really great acting from james marsters. first surprise and disbelief, then glee which spike is trying very hard to restrain because these are grave times. and yet he can't help feeling so joyous that buffy trusts him. he glances as the doorway like he's thinking "ah yes what a nice house" which makes me laugh because it's so stupid but also sweet. i think it's him trying to play it cool and doing a not so good job of it. there's such a lightness to him - it reminds me of the feeling when you think you did something to upset your friend a few days ago and you're anxious that they've been angry with you all this time and you finally gain the courage to ask them about you and it turns out they were never angry or upset at all. the giddy relief you feel.

and then there's that little moment of tension where they're standing so close together and you think something might happen but then spike breaks off and goes to the weapons chest and starts rambling about what they should take. it's so notable that it's him who gets nervous and moves away. so different from the way he behaved with her in fool for love, getting up in her space and trying to make her admit she had feelings for him. he's accepted that she'll never love him back, and moments like this where it feels like maybe there could be something between them are too painful, so he disrupts the moment. moves away.

jumping to the end of the scene - i love that buffy is on the stairs when spike does his little speech. she's physically above him. "you're beneath me." not only that, she's ascending, just as she ascends at the end of the episode, accessing a level of heroism that spike will never be able to meet. rewatching this part, spike's expression really surprised me. when he says "i know you'll never love me," he doesn't look at all bitter or resentful. his face is open, understanding, compassionate, and thankful. because that's what this speech is - he's thanking her for treating him better than he deserves. he's so grateful for the respect and trust she has given him. it has been truly transformative, as we've seen. only he doesn't get to the actual thanking part, because he cuts himself off, saying he'll wait for her down here. i think he cuts himself off because he realizes that this isn't what buffy needs to hear right now. she's got an enormous battle to prepare for, and a sister to save, and spike's feelings simply aren't important. so he stops mid-sentence for her sake. i think we're meant to understand that the only reason he started to say this at all is that he really thinks he might die tonight and it could be his last chance to let her know what it has meant to him to be treated like a person capable of doing good.

i've focused on what's going thru spike's head in this post bc i think buffy is a lot harder to read here. which is interesting bc sarah michelle gellar as buffy is so expressive that usually you can always tell exactly what buffy is thinking. but when she's with spike in these episodes toward the end of season 5 it's difficult to tell how she regards him. i think a lot of the time even she doesn't really understand how she feels about him. their relationship is so paradoxical. she relies on him but she reviles him. she wants him around but she finds him intolerable. i might rewatch the scene again and make another post about what might be going thru buffy's head, but for now i'll leave it at saying that i kind of love how spike's feelings for buffy are crystal clear to us and buffy's feelings for spike are much murkier. spike started out as this cool mysterious antagonist, whereas buffy has always been the protagonist and we're constantly seeing things from her point of view and being made to understand how she feels. so it's kind of fun to see that flipped a little bit. and it also rings really true for me how buffy in this moment is like, i have 5 billion things to be worrying about right now, i cannot even begin to process whatever feelings i may or may not have regarding spike. and with all of that said........there really is a softness to the way she treats him in this scene. and it's nice.

anyway. these two ✌️ gonna go jump off a tall tall tower

[nixie-deangel]

me to me, in a stern voice: we don't need another idea to add to the list. do you fucking hear me???? WE DO NOT NEED ANOTHER!!!!

me to me, in a sad voice: okay.....I do hear you....but....🥺🥺🥺🥺 maybe think about hangster breaking up because of Jake's family though? just. just think about this with me. okay?🥺🥺 please?

me to me just giving up: *sigh*..............what's the idea?

me to me about to add yet another WIP to my new list: awesome! okay, so we see a lot about hangster being ex's and breaking up (and who's fault it is varying on the shifting tides of fandom and how we're feeling about characters from moment to moment)

BUT have we thought about Jake's family being the reason for it??? like. okay. Jake's family has so many expectations on who Jake should married, that every time Jake brings Bradley (and for this, we're saying both are stationed in Corpus Christi during this period) and they can't help making snide comments to Bradley about how he's not enough and how Jake won't actually settle for him and how Jake will eventually find someone better and more worthy of the Seresin name.

and well, seriously there is only so much Bradley can take, what with him already feeling not enough and out of place and like he's not deserving of Jake's love and attention and time anyway.

so it's the nail in the road that explodes the tire and sends Bradley careening into breaking them up and getting as far away as he possible can because yeah, he DOES want Jake to find his happily ever after and get everything he wants and deserves but Bradley cannot be around to witness his future, his heart, finding what he so badly wants for them with someone else.

and then of course the mission happens and it's just an all around mind fuck for Bradley, though it all works out with him and Mav clearing the air and him and Jake somehow finding a tentative friendship once again.

and then weeks later, Javy makes mention Jake is bringing his new boyfriend around to meet them and he wants to make sure Bradley isn't going to cause a scene or be a problem and Bradley can't help haltingly answering that it's okay, that he knew this day would come, that Jake would find someone truly worth him, that his family would love, someone that was truly deserving of Jake's time and love and that he'd get his happily ever after.

only, Bradley starts saying this just as Jake walks in and is floored because how dare Bradley think Jake could ever find his happily ever after when that was Bradley and Bradley walked away from him, from them! but then he latches onto Bradley saying someone deserving of Jake, someone worthy of him, someone his family would accept and love and things start clicking in his head.

and obviously, Jake and Bradley get back together and Jake becomes an unholy terror to his parents and sisters who were part of the problem, who were the match that lit the fire that imploded their relationship.

idk. just. the thought of Jake's family sparking the match and setting the explosion off is tempting. and I can't stop thinking about it when I should really be sleeping right now.

[coichii]

UNTITLED LOVE SONG - SEUNGMIN

pairing - bf!seungmin ♥︎ fem!reader

genre: fluff, very little angst & comfort

word count: 0.6k

warnings: use of the word sexy 2x

A/N : Srry this is late… 😭 also..tiny little spoiler : I’m cooking up a fall series called “Fall : records of love.” that is half way finished. I didn’t want to announce it because I felt as if the pressure to finish it would keep me from doing it but tbh I should just announce it and get it over with. So hopefully that will start rolling out in October !! No promises :p

You hear the jingle of the door opening, seungmin stepping inside, much to your excitement.

You and seungmin had a karaoke date planned for his birthday. The idea of spending time with the man you love on his birthday made you overjoyed, especially since it had been literal days since you two had any personal time together. Now that he’s off work, you get to spend time with the man you love the most on his special day.

“You’re home!” You screech as you run over to him, arms quickly engulfing him in a tight hug. Seungmin knocks back slightly with an oof making you giggle as he hugs you back.

“Hey beautiful” he says, adoring the black dress you had put on while waiting for him. His pet name for you makes you flush red as you press your lips together.

The kiss doesn’t last that long, Seungmin pulling away to go take a shower and re-dress, much to your dismissal. As he gets ready you touch up your look, swiping the sticky solution of gloss along your lips and reapplying your mascara. You look in the mirror and smile in content, confident in the way you look.

It doesn’t take to long for him to come out, Seungmin dressed casually but clean and looking handsome and sexy as ever. (But to be fair, you always think he looks sexy) “You ready y/n?” he asks.

“Ready!”

— time skip —

The sound of the instrumentals bounce of the walls as Seungmin sings along. You’re in a trance as you listen to his voice, the melodic sound sending ripples through your body.

You’ve always loved when he sung. His voice brings you comfort in so many different ways. And don’t even start on the look on his face as he sings. The smile you adore beaming with passion makes you fuzzy inside.

“Your voice is so majestic, my love.” you say as he finishes the song. He grins sheepishly at you, placing the mic down and sitting besides you.

“Thank you baby, you spoil me.” He blushed. “All the time you spent with me today made my birthday so special.”

“Oh hush. It’s the least I could do for you babe.” You mumbled, sneaking your arm around his waist to pull him closer to you. “I wish I could spin more time with you.”

You look up at him as he says this, taking notice in the slight somber expression on his face. “My love, anytime spent with you is perfect to me. When we go out or when we cuddle. Everything is lovely.” You affirmed, staring into his eyes which were begining to twinkle with guilt.

“You don’t think you deserve someone better?” He whispers. To say you’re taken aback by his words is an understatement. You move your hand from his waist to his back, rubbing it gently.

“No.” You asserted. “You are the one for me. There is no one better. You mean the world to me ok?”

You feel him slightly relax in your hold, his own arm now resting on your waist. “I love you.” He says, looking at you again.

“I love you too. Karaoke time?” You smile, hoping to lighten the mood. He accepts your proposal, smiling as he grabs the microphone again.

As you two sing along, you realize exactly how much you missed him and how much you’re grateful he’s your partner. Reaffirming the words that were said not to long ago.

Yes, I love you too.

[cursedvibes]

comparing geto and maki's massacres as the same is crazy to me. geto slaughtered an entire village of defenseless people and justified it as protecting sorcerers from the suffering of those who create curses. maki killed the clan because they explicitly wanted to kill her, mai and even megumi, the new head by naobito's will. she was there to pick up cursed tools and they pushed her to violence after killing her sister. unserious comparison.

Yeah...I can see where they are coming from because Geto was also pushed to extremes and was defending Mimiko and Nanako from harm, but Maki and Mai were abused by the clan, their family, their whole life. They actively tried to kill them. The only one being shown as defenceless is Maki's mother, but she had made it very clear before that she wants to see her daughters dead (she didn't actually mean it, but it doesn't matter what she secretly felt when it doesn't show in her actions). She was no better than Ogi, except she wasn't the one holding the blade. I really can't blame Maki snapping after everything that happened, especially after Mai specifically asked her to burn it all down. Like yes, Ranta seemed like he was one of the nicer ones, but that doesn't change the fact that he was part of the squad responsible for the years of abuse the twins suffered. They already knew from Toji how badly this could backfire, but they still went ahead with not treating Maki any better because she's a woman and Toji didn't retaliate against the Clan, so I guess it couldn't have been that bad... You can argue over who deserved death more than others, but that was hardly a situation for rational thought. It is very unfair to expect Maki to be the bigger person and just walk away from being nearly killed and seeing Mai murdered by their own family.

I think a big difference to Geto is also that Maki didn't go on to indiscriminately murder outside the Zenin Clan. Geto killed his own parents after the village massacre, who as far as we know never did anything wrong except being born non-sorcerers. And he kept going like that for 10 more years. Maki didn't. Hell, she even learned to somewhat reconciliate with how her mother treated her and she doesn't go on a killing spree like that among regular sorcerers, much less civilians. There's a big difference.

Also, I don't get where so many people are taking from that she just shook off the massacre like it was no big deal. She had a whole arc dedicated to dealing with the aftermath and learning to accept her body, Mai and what has happened! Maybe if people didn't skip through the Culling Game arc they'd actually know this (not that I'm bitter or anything). Like, my problem is that we never get the kind of bonding we see between her and Noritoshi or even Daido with the people who are supposed to be her friends (Yuuta, Inumaki, Panda, Nobara etc.). She is clearly affected by what happened, but nobody even asks her how she's doing. The best we get is "Maki is scary now". I would've loved to get more insight into her current mentality along the lines of the Sakurajima colony, something on how she will move on from this, how she will live now without her family (except Megumi), but we got nothing. That's my issue, not what came before. I think Perfect Preparation and Sakurajima colony were great for her character. She isn't the most expressive, but you can still see how affected she is by everything and it is directly addressed how suppressing everything isn't good for her, but then we get nothing past that.

But yeah, apparently she's less redeemable to some than Geto. Because she's cold and people don't pay attention to the arcs that actually delve into her character.

[f3v3rpitch]

Sometimes there are people in your life and you used to love them so much and one day you look around and you realize this isn’t what being loved feels like.

You hold the idea of them in your palm like a worry stone polished smooth and you say, “I always feel like shit around you.”

And you ask yourself, “How much of that is your fault? And how much is mine?”

There isn’t a good answer. Because they are rarely as awful as they make you feel. But they did make you feel like that long enough that it’s your subconscious version of them.

You can love people who treat you poorly. Ask yourself if you should, though.

Maybe they’ll get better. Are you in a place to let them? How much forgiveness are you made out of? How much would they need?

Kicked dogs don’t bite the first time they’re kicked. They whimper. Fangs are for creatures tired of taking hits. Can you afford to forgive them?

[inamindfarfaraway]

I would find Blondie Lockes very annoying in real life, but I love her in fiction. She's a genuinely good journalist in terms of both skill and ethical integrity, who only occasionally forgets to check the facts because she's fifteen and holds herself accountable when she does. She has incredibly high standards for everything and believes herself to be the ultimate authority on quality. She has magical lockpicking powers because her fairytale is about Goldilocks breaking into a house. She somehow completely ignores the story's moral that Goldilocks was wrong to break into the house, feels entitled to go wherever and help herself to whatever she's able to and cannot comprehend why people dislike this. She's been terrorizing an anthropomorphic bear family with her cheerful disrespect for privacy and is convinced that they love her. She has a non-anthropomorphic pet baby bear. Her motivation is dependence on external approval rooted in deeply internalized classism. She's desperate to be useful and important to those with higher social status and feels the need to lie that her family is technically royalty to fit in with her royal friends, even though they treat commoners like equals all the time. She positions herself as a conduit of true greatness; closer to it than the masses, but never the hero, always reporting on other people and evaluating what they've done. Because what she's done isn't enough to be worthwhile. What she is isn't enough. But this performative lifestyle makes her anxious about being judged as a fraud and an interloper, and ashamed of selfishly transgressing against social norms. Her microphone head looks like an adorable little bear head. That's one hex of a character alright.

[anistarrose]

okay so I know we only have two data points (Magnus and Barry), but what if all the human last names on the IPRE homeworld were actually a little silly. like in d&d lore it's usually gnomes that are supposed to be the silly ones, but what if humans got to be the silly ones on the two-sunned planet. as a treat. what if it was actually pretty common for human last names in general, not just Bluejeans or Burnsides, to take the form of "[silly adjective or verb] + [silly plural noun]" in a sort of portmanteau, that also has a ring to it as a conjoined phrase

are you still with me? do you follow? okay, good. I would now like to pitch to you that Lucretia's last name, canonically, could very plausibly be Adventurezones

[eldestdauqhter]

good morning i am thinking of emma morley and her stubbornness in love. her immovable devotion to who she is and to do what she thinks she must for herself; how she refuses to lift a finger for anything that lies outside of what she feels she deserves in that point of time. this being dexter, separation from ian, or to not have a workplace lover twice her age. eventually she finds success, and in turn that makes her deem herself worthy of the merit of france and jean pierre.

but here’s the kicker, dexter is just as stubborn as her. or rather he’s persistent than ever before. his tragedies have turned him into an incurable open sore and his love weeps. and emma refuses. or at the very least she tries. but she knew the french word for tonsilitis, and jean pierre is too perfect anyway, and she’s been waiting on dexter to look at her all their lives. she thinks maybe this is their chance. how we’re all fools in love

[theghoulboysblog]

ryan bergara vs. compliments, a long running battle.

[s0fter-sin]

"advise you move interior if you're not already... it's good cover"

that last bit has always felt like such an afterthought; it comes just a beat too late like ghost hadn't intended to elaborate on his order

did he add it to head off soap's inevitable questions; pushing back against his orders just like in al mazrah? never bc of insubordination but just bc of an intrinsic need to know the thought process behind an order before he can follow it

has he ever had to explain his thinking before; too used to being followed without question, his word always the authority in both rank and experience? just to meet soap who pushes back, not in doubt, but from the sheer desire to know

has it already become instinct to explain?

was it to start teaching him to think even deeper about his own survival? to look at his surroundings and see everything as an opportunity and tool at his disposal? already feeling the urge to implant these lessons so, should the time come, soap can implement them himself

he knows he won't always be there; whether it's as simple as distance, comms going down or his inevitable death, at some point soap won't have anyone at his back

better to teach the root of survival so he won't need protecting

even the phrasing, "if you're not already", he's not babying soap, not undermining his skills; he assumes soap knows to get inside bc he knows he’s a good soldier. but just in case he doesn’t, in case he’s frazzled and not thinking, he offers it as a reminder

[sndsdeadpoet]

I be like “they’re my comfort characters” and then it’s them

[animangalover-writes]

Billy Hargrove fandom I love you. You are the only safe space in this cursed fandom❤️