#“whats your mech dude?”

[princess-of-purple-prose]

HI @herding-octokittens I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS POST LITERALLY NONSTOP FOR MONTHS, but I could never get up that initial fury that inspired these tags asdkjaksdfh. HOWEVER, I finally pulled myself together and wrote that essay!!! Here’s the aforementioned comment:

[ID: A Youtube screenshot with the commenter’s username blurred out that reads: ““And as his fear bled through his pistol’s mouth” is such a strong line. Gawain is not “evil,” he’s scared. Fear makes people do bad things”. Typos have been corrected for the transcription. / End ID] (Additional note: This screenshot was taken a while ago from the official Mechanisms’ video for “Peacemaker” and has since been deleted, thanks to Youtube’s shenaniganery. If you are the author of this comment, please don’t hate me fjdkdk I promise I don’t hate you.)

Essay under the cut due to length!

This comment made me feel the epitome of “They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.” Listen, I am not here to debate “good” or “evil” as useful labels. That is not going to factor into this. But boy, TALK about misreading a really brilliantly written character.

As the original post says, Gawain’s hatred of the Saxons is absolutely in part due to his guilt over failing those he was tasked to help in “Strength” and “Empty Trail,” and it’s almost flat-out stated in the spoken track “Death”: “Whether from the heat or from vengeful knives, the half-eaten state of them spoke to a culprit: a ghoul raiding party. And on that day Gawain conceived a monstrous hate.” All of this means that while we aren’t exactly ROOTING for him in “The Hanged Man Rusts,” it makes his hatred of the Saxons almost logical?? We get it. He’s been traumatized and gone through loss, and they’re close enough to monsters that it feels fair he calls them ones. It’s understandable that he rejects poor, doing-his-fricking-best Brian.

And then “Peacemaker.” Ohhh, “Peacemaker.” There’s oodles to talk about right at the beginning where he taunts Mordred, but frankly I’m not as interested in that, so we’re moving on. Let’s look at the lines right before what was quoted in the comment that provoked my ire and also this entire essay!

Now at last free of fear

My vision blurs with crimson, but I finally see

Hold brutality near

And release the coiled violence that’s inside of me

All of this is… abjectly damning. Gawain is freed of his fear of the Saxons because he finally has a chance at an outlet for it. And what is his choice of outlet? Coloring pages? Journaling? Working out? No!! He chooses “brutality” and “violence”!!! We find that he’s suppressed his violent urges before, and that releasing them here makes him feel that he’s reached some new level of understanding. And he has, as we see at the end of the song, where his lines are entwined with Mordred’s in gorgeous harmony that makes me want to scream for multiple reasons. (I’m strictly focusing on Gawain here, so I’m only going to sample his lines.)

The air is filled with screams

Before I treated battle like it was a toy

But not in my darkest dreams

Could I have ever felt this savage joy

Gawain says it himself. He RELISHED in violence, and he had “dark dreams” of indulging in his taste for blood and vengeance. He feels a “savage joy” in literally carrying out a massacre. There’s nothing justified about this. What he learns from all this is that he’s been waiting for an excuse to be violent. And by god did he find one.

So now let’s finally look at the line of narration that started this all.

And so Gawain fought, and through it all heard the shrill keening of vicious laughter. And as his fear bled through his pistol’s mouth, he knew the laugh was his own.

That Youtube commenter was right. Fear DOES make people do terrible things. It certainly prompted Gawain to be on a hair trigger during the peace talks and thus trigger the “death and bloodshed” that were arguably the nail in the coffin of this particular Mechs tragedy. They were right in that “his fear bled through his pistol’s mouth” is stunning, evocative, gorgeous imagery- but they completely failed to interpret the line. Fear, especially when funneled through the outlet of violence, becomes indefensible the second it hurts someone. And in this case, it hurt a lot of someones. Gawain stopped being just a scared victim when we find out he was waiting for a chance to take out his repressed rage against the Saxons. Gawain’s fear is here directly equated with bullets. And I think we can see how that worked out.

And that, my friends, is why Gawain is an incredible, incredible character that you should in no way think is anywhere close to morally justified, and also why you should never ask me to write an essay ever!

[meme-loving-stuck]

6 facts about being SEXY

you can be 'ugly' and hot at the same time im not saying this to mean "be self-loathing and self-absorbed at the same time" im saying:

1. societal ideas about attractiveness literally vary by region so, there goes the concept of "beauty" out the window

2. cis-centric ideals of attractiveness also go out the window for queer people

3. you can look 'off' or weird on camera because all sorts of camera shit that literally varies by camera. you don't look like that irl

4. people's brains tend to force symmetry where it doesn't exist so actually, EVERYONE has some amount of non-symmetrical features and it's normal. we think certain peoples faces are perfect but they aren't! its normal. photoshop also fools us here &so does art*

5. once you have actually had sex a couple times** in your life you learn that you literally do not have to look like a model*** to be hot & physically desirable and someone's absolute ideal

6. confidence is somth you have to practice at & you might HAVE to pretend at first but it really will help your view of yourself. it will start to feel real! it's been proven

like that's all! we have all literally been brainwashed by fatphobia, ageism, racism, and cissexism into thinking certain traits are Abnormal™ & you just gotta unlearn it like any other harmful thinking.

*** PS... i know enough trans folks both dyadic & intersex to know that this ALSO goes for not being "cis-passing" in bed. it is absolutely possible to find people, even NOT being t4t as a trans person, even not being trans as an intersex person, who are attracted to your gender, who have absolutely no issue w your body. &dont see you as a damn fetish. we exist!! theres plenty out there! sorry this got real long!!!

* obSESSINg over getting the other eye the exact same as the first one you drew is NOT necessary lmao. especially at 3/4 like wyd stop that. if youre doing 'realistic' then DEF stop that lol

**if you're INTO sex, obviously. ofc you don't HAVE to have sex to learn this, but it really helps cement it for some people if you ARE concerned abt not being physically desirable as a sexual adult, myself incl

[7-oh-ta1]

*reading taichi's backstage stories after graduation*

*starts dissociating and can't remember what I tried to read cause I was staring at my ceiling fan for 40 minutes apparently*

*tries to read it again and it happens again*

[voxxphantasma]

i always have to wonder what my non mechs mutuals think of the wild shit i say abt the mechanisms

[emdotcom]

In Pokemon 4ever, very specifically a character is named as a "Pokemon poacher," which has always been weird to me, 'cause like. Everybody catches Pokemon, what's the distinction?

Checking the wiki, seems like catching a lot of Pokemon all at once, particularly with the intent to sell (or perhaps trade) them qualifies you as a poacher in this world.

I mean, that kinda makes sense. Collecting absurd amounts of a Pokemon would throw the environment out of wack, and has, in the past, haa led to certain Pokemon being driven to near-extinction.

But also the poacher dude in that movie doesn't seem to catch a lot of Pokemon? We see him catch 1 pokemon, and attempt to catch another all movie. Main things he does is have a strong team, try and catch a legendary, and use an absolute bullshit pokeball (with seemingly perfect catch rates?).

I mean, he has a pokeball that (apparently) can catch already-caught pokemon, but we never see him use that function, to my memory? We also see him use machines and his team to help him catch Pokemon. Which. Like. I feel like we've seen other people do that? Might just be a Team Rocket special. Is that enough to qualify you, though? Catching Pokemon with absurd mechs? Do I count as a poacher if I use Genesect or Rotom to catch a Pokemon

[yourplayersaidwhat]

This is a TERRIBLE Idea

Context: We were fighting a bunch of dudes and a giant mech in Maids RPG. I have a magic cat that can copy *any* ability or item of an ally (slightly paraphrased)

Me: I know this may be stupid. But I have an idea. DM: Alright, what’s your idea? Me: Can I use the cat to activate Daemon of Monachopsis? DM: Oh no. Let me check something. *checks abilities* Yeah, you can. But there will be consequences. Player: *OOC* I think Mage will need to restate her question. Me: I’m aware that there will be consequences for my actions. DM: *sighs* The cat runs over to Aviator and dives into her soul, pulling something out of it. He rushes back to you and you feel *everything*, her sadness, her feelings of everyone hating her through her life, you even see some of her memories. Her in her realm, preparing to seal herself away for all eternity, until Angel and the others came to slap some sense into her. Congratulations! You became a Daemon!

*two minutes later* Mage: Good news guys! I found the mech’s weakness! *sees my PC is a Daemon, which is usually Not Good™* What the hell happened to you!? Me: *In character* In case of emergency break me! Mage: Again, are you… you know what, not the time.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Monkey King isn't in a rush to teach Mk.

He knows he isn't going anywhere, hes immortal for crying out loud, it's not like there's a deadline.

Monkey King teaches Mk gradually and works on building him up in the ways he knows how. He intends to be there to keep an eye on him and to watch and make sure he's there to step in and take care of anything he can't handle because he doesn't expect Mk to be perfect and he's fully prepared to be his mentor for as long as he needs him; an idea that he doesn't really cominicate cause he just doesn't think to share a lot of stuff. Or maybe he doesn't know how.

That plan changes however the moment that the Lady Bone Demon steps into the picture. Because Mk is still learning. He's not ready, and he's not supposed to be ready either. Not for this.

Suddenly, for the first time in the show, Monkey King is rushing. He packs his bags, barely says goodbye and takes off faster than the speed of sound. He needs to take care of this before it reaches Mk because he's his successor but he never meant him to face her. She's supposed to be gone and it's not Mk's responsibility. It's his.

So off he goes to handle it himself and he teaches Mk via mail and messages because he is still responsible for this person and he doesn't want him to worry or know anythings wrong because this is a thousand times worse than Sun Wukong ever thought it could get.

Except try as he might he's never told Mk he isn't leaving, that it's okay if he's not perfect right away, and that he's not leaving cause it's gonna take him a while to get the hang of everything, heck it took him seven years to learn all his transformations, and even if he tried to reassure him--"so you'll still teach me?" "Of course bud!" "Your hearts in the right place. We can work on the rest,"--Mk doesn't take it the way he means it and it really seems actions speak louder than words for him. And suddenly Monkey King leaves and Mk thinks he's done something wrong, his doubts amplified by LBD's and Macaque's influence on him. Because despite what Monkey King says his actions to Mk say otherwise.

I'm just thinking about how Monkey King is actually a pretty good mentor. He's not perfect by any means, but he really does know where Mk's limits are at and what he is ready and isn't ready to take on, and he never throws him into a situation he isn't sure he can handle. And even if he knows he's got it, he still lingers nearby out of sight to make sure. Any time they face a bigger threat (Spider Queens mech, LBD, Macaque-) he never makes Mk take care of it himself. He drops him on a rooftop, he shields him with his own body and he goes off to handle the big bad issue on his own so Mk doesn't have to.

What Sun Wukong is saying by doing these things is that he won't abandon Mk to face the bigger things alone. That he's there and he's going to help and handle things that he can't and he doesn't even have to worry about it. He is his successor and Monkey King is his teacher and he's not going anywhere. But he's only one dude, as powerful as he is. He's treating Mk too much like a person to protect (*coughs* Tripitaka *coughs*) and not as someone he needs to communicate his thoughts with. (He honestly doesn't seem to be able to really comunicate his thoughts really, trauma go brrrrr)

Mk he thinks he doesn't trust him, doesn't believe in him. That maybe he doesn't even want him. But that's not the case.

Monkey Kings got a lot of flaws but he really is doing his absolute best. Like with all families, miscommunication happens and assumptions are made that aren't true but that does not change the fact that Monkey King really cares about Mk (maybe more than he expected he would) and they've both been through some pretty messed up stuff that makes it hard to comunicate. They'll figure it out though. It might take a while and things will get messy more than a few times, but they're family, and family grows and changes and learns together.

[saltysaltdog]

I think people who make humansona megatron (aligned/tfp) a man who conforms to nearly every gender norm are missing a LOT of context.

People like Megatron, but everyone outside of Gladiator Kaon finds him really unsettling. Like, Orion can be harsh and call everyone working with Megatron mechs who'll die in the gutter, but Megatron can't even say "my friend" without everyone thinking he's super suspicious and probably going to kill someone.

And while you can say "caste tension" and drop it, I think you can add more nuance by making Meg "caste-abberant," defining him as outside the norms physically within functionalism.

—For example: you may have noticed the mining vehicons are slightly smaller than the eradicons/ fighting vehicons. You can see this in background shots, with them being half Megatron's height, or in the scene where wheeljack startles mining bots while running from predaking– but that the eradicons are slightly taller than him/ taller than Starscream.(Some of this is hidden by weird framing tricks but the mining vehicons have more visors than the fighting ones though they both have weapons.)

So mining bots have a certain image. Small. But Megatron is very much not that. Whatever reason you want to make up for it (size gain like a lobster upon aging, just build different, etc) he is huge.

This in and of itself isn't what makes people uncomfortable. Optimus is tall but adored. Ultra Magnus, omega supreme, tall but trusted. It's not a height thing. It's a caste thing, specifically someone who doesn't fit neatly into a box.

Like, Have you ever seen a dude driven nuts bc a girl is taller than him? As if he thinks being a man is a title given to the "manliest" people around and if you aren't your man card gets revoked. And then to protect his "manhood" he starts trying to muscle in and prove himself but just makes himself look pathetic and insecure?

It's like that for Megatron.

People get that way for guys too. Where men act like someone having feminine traits or hobbies, as a man, attacks manhood itself and is trying to bring everyone down. Making men "look bad" or weak.

Or its attacking the notion of heterosexuality by having "womanly" features they find attractive. Thus they think the guy with features they like is actively trying to "turn them gay" and start lashing out in defense to that imaginary attack, while the guy is actually just living his life. And of course the reverse where a lady with "manly" features is doing the same as above.

There's so many examples of this discomfort with gender ambiguity/difference that trans ppl or people who's appearances don't fit euro-centric beauty ideals have catalogued that I won't go on with them.

I think the innate discomfort bots have with Megatron in exodus comes from something like this, or at least Orion's discomfort with him, since orion also instantly mistrusted Ransack for 0 reason on Velocitron in Exiles, probably because he was a three wheeled racer, where Override was a car. (Though it may also be a manners thing for that one. Since OP is a huge snob in those books.)

[jazz-miester]

My world has ended. So will yours.

Pairing: Ravage x Reader

Reader type: Gender Neutral human

Song: Blackout days- Phantogram

Warnings: Reader injury. Speaking of loss of loved ones. Swearing. Angst.

An: Dude. I absolutely adored this request! The pairing doesn't come until later in the story but I had a fun time building up a bit of backstory!

Word count: 3,039

Tags: @astridkolch

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"Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief."

- Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides

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Earth was coming to an end. Or, at the very least. That is what it felt like. The aliens, Cybertronian's they called themselves. We're slowly tearing this world apart.

Although some do not mean it. Large meccanoids regularly coming back to fix towns and cities. Places they had a hand in destroying.  They were more advanced than your kind. Helping rebuild homes stronger and more sturdy. Hurdling Earth's technology far ahead of it's time. No weapons though. Nothing that could possibly help you defend against them.

Nothing that you could use and hurt your fellow human.

You've seen the Autobot leader. You stood in the back if a small crowd. The sooty and tearstained faces of your neighbors looking to him. For what you didn't know.

Hope? Empathy?

He spoke as if he did. Gave you his name. His words. The promise to be rid of the Decepticons. "To have peace upon your world." You scoffed.

People began to cry out. A viscous growl if named. Venom and hurt.

The face of the Prime falls. His very being seeming to sink into the concrete ground. A pink feminine figure lays a hand in his shoulder.

That look he gave her. You knew that look. The very same your father gave your mother. So soft and full. When he was tired she brought him up. Just as the pink one was doing now.

So. They were capable of love.

Slowly you made your way to the front. Helping your fallen neighbors to their feet.  As you do so, something dark blurs in the corner of your vision. It sends your head turning to where it came from.

Tamara. Sweet and kind Tamara. The elderly woman who could barley harm a fly let alone show any kind of violence. Her hand was coated in mud. The dark coating or dirt pulled from a nearby pot. The same mud that now coated the side of Primes wide eyed face.

"Leave us." Her voice shrilled and cracked. "You bring nothing but death to us." One of them. A large mech coated in red steps forward. The Primes stops him. Hand in his chest as he still looks at Tamara.

You go to her. Try to calm her. Instead she grips your arms. She stains your shirt with the mud. Her brown eyes are blown wide. Bright and shiney. They moved swiftly side to side as she studied you. Shallow breaths left her lips quickly and her body trembled. Loose ringlets if curls shook from her normal slicked back style. A whimper left her lips.

Scared. She was scared.

"I lost my grandchild because of them. They need to leave.

As if the group had been waiting for her final words they surged forwards. Hurling a manner of things to the group of four Bots. Drinks. Rocks. Mud. You swore you even saw Delilah's stuffed bunny hit the red one.

"Leave!"

"Your kind are nothing but monsters!"

"My wife-My son-My Daughter!"

"You are no better than the ones you claim to protect us from!"

The words hurt. You knew this. Saw it. Their frames seem to break and fall. But at the same time you connected more with your townsfolk.

Still. It is not there fault the Decepticons will not leave. And, in the end. No one deserves such cruelty. You've seen the footage on social media feeds. You have seen Autobots taking hits to the point of death to save humans.

Your feet move before your thoughts catch up. You get caught in the crossfire the closer you get to them. Mud slinging against your back. Coating your hair.

The Prime leans down. You look up. Hands trembling as nervousness overtakes you.

"What do you need young one?" Your chest hurts when you speak next.

"You need to leave. For your own safety. These people." You gesture behind you aimlessly."They're hurting. And you being here is making it worse. Please. We will be fine if you go." The tears fall. "Just. Leave. Take Morgan street then Looking Glass road. You'll be able to leave in peace." It pains you to send them away. It hurts worse to see your friends in such a state.

The Primes face falls. "Truly? Is there no aid I can offer? There are camps." You stood him there's wave your hand.

"My family is dead. Now go." You leave at that. All the kindness in your heart leaving. And truly, the man is still willing to help in the face of those who speak his name as poison. He did not deserve your cruelty.

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With time came change. And with change you grew.  You mourned every loss. Celebrated every victory. Grew into a new person with others. Stronger and more willed. And yet, some lost the only true gift In This world. Their kindness. Their love. The ability to help without expectations.

Lost the meaning of being human in a crisis.

Your town had kicked you out over that. Showing kindness to their so called enemy. Nearly a year has passed since then. Still, the hurt had not ceased.

The group you were in now had been a serendipitous moment. It was also a choice born of desperation.

They said all they did was helped. Pulling people from the ashes of fallen homes. Helped them stand firmly on their own two feet after it all.

You thought that was what you were doing. Up until the point you saw one of your "teammates"  demanding a young woman to pay them.

"I helped you. Know you help me." When she pleaded. Told him she had nothing. That her home had been burned and with it everything she had. He rose a fist to hit her. Only to be stopped when you pulled his arm back.

"What the fuck David?" He laughed. Let the woman go.

"What?" He asked. "We hell them and they don't own us nothin'?" He steps to you. Eyes bright as his lips curl into a ghost of a smile. "I don't know what you or Boss is on, but I ain't doin' this for free. So back off. Or I'll make you pay for it instead."

You step back. Disgust turning your stomach. "You're sick. You know that. Right?" You motion with no clear direction. "But if we had to "pay back" after we got help no one would be in a good place right now. You forget we were no different that her when Boss's crew helped us."

He seemed to mull this over. Then laughed. By now the young woman had left. Taking with her the water and canned goods you had give her.

"Then both of you are stupider than I thought." David spoke. "Think. We could be living lavishly right now. Not worrying about food. Drink. " He paused. "Bodies." He tagged that last bit on. Eyeing you up and down. You spat into the dirt. Ridding yourself the taste of ash and the rising bile from his gross suggestion.

"Greed will get you nowhere. Others will think the same. Do the same to you." David took offense to that.

"Do you really think you know me? I've lost things. People. I should be allowed to be selfish." He's in front of you now. Nose almost brushing yours. You could feel the heat rolling off of him. Almost fever hit in it's intensity.

"You're not the only one David. Everyone has lost something because of them. We need peace amongst ourselves. Not. Not this."

Your head swivels before the pain hits. Hot warmth cradling your jaw as you begin to regain your senses. You stagger back. Stop. Stare at David who is seething.

Blood. You taste blood.

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The fight wants long. A few minutes and most. It left David running to lick his wounds and you staring into the rubble of. the city that once was Portland. You leave to tell your boss your no longer helping.

The faith you once held in humanity now gone. Desperation born of ruin.

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Six months left you numb. Stumbling across more hurt than hope. More greed than selflessness. It left you ill.

Your travels lead you somewhere North. Snow overtaking the ground. Feet stepping into one of the few towns left intact. It is there you find some semblance of peace.

You live with them. A family kind enough to take you in until you could be in your own to feet. Long enough to be able to rebuild and abandoned house.

You do your part as well. Helping the young couple with cleaning and repairs in their own house. Offering to help with their gardens or over watching the twins. Carwyn and Arwen. Cute names. Adorable children. Although they did keep on sneaking your sweets away. It was cute thier laughter when they thought they got away with something.

The couple, Laura and Kate, were the ones to help you into your new home. It was small. Only three rooms. A bedroom a bathroom and the kitchen connected with the living room.

And it was yours.

The two made sure you had plenty of food. Pointed you in the direction of work to help earn your keep. Almost no one used money anymore. Instead choosing to fall back on old ways of commerce. It was nice.

You got comfortable. Got into a steady routine. Get up before the sun. Coffee. Get dressed. And then go work for the old man down the road. Finish there and help anyone else who needed it. You would go home then. Wind down. Eat dinner. And write. The only constant that has stuck in this life. A habit your not willing to let go.

It happens again in the summer. Early in the morning while your drinking your coffee. Still clothed in the thin shirt and shorts you fell asleep in.

You could smell it. The acid blend of ozone and what you've come to recognize as blaster fire. Your heart stops. Your breathing becomes short.

No. No. No.

It can't be. Not here. Not now. Not when everything was getting better. Not when you just began healing.

You do the first thing you think of. Lacing up boots and pulling in jeans as you run out the front door. Your coffee spilled all over the table on your back porch. The table the twins made for you. A table you may never see again.

"Laura! Kate!" Your voice shrills in the morning air. Cool misty air wets your warming face. Does nothing to calm your beating heart. People stop and stare at you. Running down the road. Panicked and frightened.

You could see it now. The bright red arcs shooting just outside the town.

You stood in the middle of the road. In front of Laura and Kate's home. You pull in a shuddering breath.

"Fuck." The curse repeats on your lips. "Everyone! We have to go. Now!" They say nothing. Watch you slacked jawed. For the longest time they had only knew you and cold and collected. A person who thought before they spoke. Only warming to the young kids and lending a helping hand to those who needed it. Never expecting anything back.

"Y/n?" It was Kate. The mousy haired women jogging out her front door. Still dressed in her blue nightgown.

"Kate. We need to leave. The town need to go." She looked out you. Bewildered.

"Y/n. There's nothing happening you. Are you okay?" She lays a hand on your shoulder. Eyes Darting to the sky above. Following the arc of light over the town. "Y/n?" Your hands shook. You looked to her. Mouth dry as you spoke.

"The Decepticons. They are here. We. We need to go. Everyone!" You looked to them. "We need to leave. This town won't make it. Pack only what you need. Food. Clothes. Camping gear." Your voice echoed down the street. No one moved. Your heart skipped a beat. That acidic stench filling your lungs. Stronger now as it got closer.

"Go!" Your voice was even and steady. And it seemed to be the first falling domino. The town flooded into a flurry. Neighbors waking those who were yet to rouse. Talking amongst themselves what was needed.

Your were winded by the time you made it home. Immediately throwing bags already packed out of paranoia into the back of an old Chevy. The truck you've been fixing since you got here.

You tossed a car seat into the middle. Left the other bare. Just incase. Just incase.

The first blast hit moments later. Tearing up the road and homes in an explosive burst of power. Heat rolled through the town. Hotter that any summer heat you may have endured as a child.

You got out of the truck. Began directing others to the other end of town. Telling them where to go. A path you went over and over again as the months passed. Just incase. Just incase this moment happened.

God you wished you never needed it. That your paranoia was getting the best of you.

Carwyn and Arwen we're terrified. Tired eyes full of quiet tears as thier mothers loaded then into their car. Laura came up to you as Kate loaded the last of their belongings in.

"Y/n?" You looked down at her. A faint smile on your face.

"You know. I never really got to say thank you for." She cut you off.

"No. Tell us when we make it out of here." Your snort.

"If Laura. I'm not fool enough to think everyone will make it." You push her to her car. To her wife. "Now go. I'll follow. I just have to be sure everyone made it out." Her face falls.

"Please. Be safe." You say nothing. Watch as she gets in her car. Watch the scared faces of the twins through the windows. Their eyes never leaving yours.

It's only after they're gone do you let yourself grieve. A few falling tears. The bitting of your fist. The explosion of breath leaving your lungs as your body shakes. Trembling still as you enter the Chevy. Tears drying as you slowly press on the gas. A slow cruise down the road as you watch for stragglers.

The second blast hits. Sending your truck careening forward. The horn screams as the truck flips. Your breath leaving you as it skids across the road. The large metal leg filling the windows as it's rolls to a stop.

The door opens. The belt catches. Loosens.

A third blast. Your hair singes. Skin burns. Old wounds resurface.

A fourth. A fifth.

A prayer on your lips.

A sixth. Seventh.

Homes burn.

Eighth. Ninth.

A fallen body. Either Autobot or Decepticon. You don't stick around to find out.

They spoke in a foreign tongue. Their voices filling your ears as you ran. Heart a battering ram in your chest. Your lungs felt as if they would collapse. Your body grew cold. Your legs numbed.

Tenth.

Your body flew. Hit the ground a few feet away. A shriek left your lips. A sob tore your throat. Your leg. Oh fuck your leg.

Move move move!

You couldn't. Your head turned. Tears blurred your vision. Heat rolled over your trembling body.

A final breath. Your vision tunneled. Then left.

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You woke to the sound of voices. No. Voice. Timbered and low.

"Human?" A nudge at your jaw. A low hum left your chest. You moved. A nearly screamed at the pain that followed. Your eyes shot open. A whimpered curse left your lips. "Human? Answer me." You looked to the source of the sound.

Oh you cursed every god in those start skies. One of them. One. Cybertronian. Was this one good or bad? Will. Will they hurt you? And. Were. Are that a cat?

"You're injured. Can you move?" And they talked? Did you hit your head. Your fingers brushed your brow. They nudged you.

"No." Came the raspy response. The cat hummed. Jeweled eyes roved over you.

"What is your name?" You scoffed. Spat.

"You first." They laughed. He? You think this one was a he. Talking cat or otherwise.

"Ravage." You let you head fall.

"Y/n. Although." You stopped. Coughed. "I don't see why you care so much." Ravage laid down next to you. Long body guarding you from cold winds that you just now noticed.

"I don't know why either, Y/n." His head turned. Looked down to you. "You humans. You fear us. I know why. But you. I watched you." His voice was a low rumble now. "Unlike others you tried to help. " He paused. Shifted. Looked to his left. Then back again.

"Your people are safe because of you. They left just as the battle reached here. You." He paused. Mulling over his words. Watched you as tears fell from your eyes. The starlight reflected in them. "You are loyal to those you care about. And we can always use another like that. You are not the first human. Not will you be the last of either sides I'm sure." You bared your teeth.

"And why would I help the people who have a hand in destroying my world." He grinned. Metal fanged glistened in the moonlight.

"You do not have a choice. Human. If you wish to have help. The Autobots will not come back for you. They think all the humans fled and instead are with them. You are alone here. Except my help." You coughed. Shivered despite his warmth.

"Fine. Just know. I'll be sure your world ends to. Despite whatever loyalty you think I have." Ravage laughed. Curled into you further.

"Oh believe me human. I know it will. But, I do know you will enjoy their company." His tailed arced over head. His head, large as it was, curled over yours. Warmth flooded I over you. Made your body grown heavy.

"Rest know. And trust me when I say no harm will come of you."

Despite not wanting to you did fall asleep. A mixture of fear and pain. Your body to tires to fight it. At the very least you will be rested for whatever was to come.

[supportanimy]

This is a younger Tails, cuz Modern Tails is much sassier I think

@legogeek33

-

"And with this material, Sonic's new shoes can grip the wing better but doesn't slow him down either. The composition also makes her lighter overall, so while it's faster, I can't put as many weaponry as I can on the other ones. That's why I made reinforced it with..."

If you told Jay a week ago that the ninja team was gonna be sent to a different realm by some wizard and help a band of colourful anthro animals search for magical diamonds (no matter how much they're gonna correct him, there's no way those are emeralds) so they can defeat the mad scientist bent on...something, he's not too sure what the man's goal is, and to send them back home, he would call you ridiculous.

Before one of his teammates would point out that they've been on adventures just as absurd before.

Now he's listening to Tails, a young two-tailed fox, explain to him his creations. The kid became super-excited at the prospect of meeting a fellow inventor. Jay was skeptical at first, but he underestimated the child. The kid is a genius! He had way more to his name than Jay ever did at twice his age!

"Wait, so you engineered a whole new type of metal just for this purpose?"

The kit suddenly looked nervous, playing with his tails, though Jay was oblivious. "Um, yeah I did. But-"

"Tails, that's AWESOME! You gotta show me how you created this, this could improve so many of our mechs and vehicles back home!"

Tails stops his fidgeting, eyes lit up. "You-you want me to show you how I created this stuff?"

"Yeah dude, your stuff is way cool! I would never have thought to combine those for this purpose! Kid, you're gonna be responsible for so many more cool inventions in the future, I just know it!"

The kit's heart swelled so much. He loved his friends but none of them really understood what he was talking about, so to have someone, who's essentially a stranger he met two days ago, compliment him on the specifics was really touching.

"Wait, Tails, why are you crying? Please stop, I don't know how to deal with crying kids!"

-

Yeah this kinda sucks because I don't really know how to write about technology and stuff so the wording is just awkward

[esperanzagalaxy]

 as promised, here’s the individual mechs from that one group picture! their bodily gestures came out really nice, so i very much wanted you to see them on their own as well. i personally am suuuper not over how nastya looks. ugh my wife.

 and double as promised, enough people have expressed their liking for this piece (!!!) so i’m sharing the files with you all so you can make your own thingo! wanted these as stickers? a poster? an icon? printed on apparel? download the file and get it done, you survived 2020, you deserve it! i’m adding the link at the end, so go nuts!

 well, nuts to an extent. there’s 5 golden rules:

 1. do not sell anything you make with this!!!! i’m sharing these because the mechs are great and stowaways are great and this is strictly for personal use.

 2. whatever you make and wherever you post it, credit me and tag me, because i honestly wanna see what you wanted to make for yourself!! i’m esperanzagalaxy on here, instagram and twitter.

 3. do not repost the files anywhere!! sharing a nice icon set you made with this is far from the same as just reuploading this unedited to another site just for the hell of it.

 4. do Not ask other artists to do the same. this is highly irregular and i’m doing this because i trust stowaways so keep it nice and fair.

  5.- lastly, please redirect anyone interested to this post and the drive folder rather than sending them the files yourself, to make sure everyone knows the rules ❤

 there is a pdf file in the folder explaining a bit more that i ask you read, but that’s the gist of it. if anything’s unclear please don’t hesitate to ask, i’ve never done this before! thank you for your interest on a piece i really loved making! be kind and responsible, and enjoy your mechs!

here’s the link, my dudes!! let me know if it’s broken, i’m adding it to a reblog just in case too because who knows how tumblr works anymore.

[cleverthylacine]

fiddleford and jazz for the ask game?

OK! Re Fiddleford - if you love Fiddleford, I'm sorry, because...

I don't.

First of all I spent the first 26 years of my life in West Virginia and Kentucky so when this was the "Appalachian" character in Gravity Falls in the first season, before we knew his history, I was completely fucking PISSED OFF about that. That's where "why do they look like that" comes from. Sure we have people that look like that but they're not the majority, and so does every other fucking place in the world.

Second of all, I still don't like him. I have a lot of sympathy for him with regard to having to put up with Bill but that's where it begins and where it ends. The rest of what we know of him is as follows:

He had some kind of relationship with Ford, quite likely romantic and certainly queer, but after they graduated he fucked off to the suburbs and got married to a woman who was taking care of him, because before big tech got big, in the 1970s, that's not what your house looked like if you were someone like him. People who aren't me don't all know how Earth worked in 1982 so I don't blame anyone who wasn’t even born then for thinking he'd already hit it rich on his own but no, someone had to be supporting him, and to those who say he got married and had Tate after he left Ford, I'm just going to say that Roe vs Wade was passed in 1973 and even if you were drunk enough to screw him after he gave himself brain damage, would you actually have a kid with him? Plus, who was paying for the house?

Second of all, he dumped her to go back to Ford and his kid hates him. In other words, he's a shitbag at handling his relationships. He was queer until graduation, married because it was the thing to do in the very early 70s I'm sure, almost certainly wasn't honest about his relationship with Ford, and abandoned his kid. He sent giant robots after his wife who divorced him, which he bloody well earned.

And then he started a conspiracy secret society to erase people's memories whether they wanted them erased or not.

I don't. like. Fiddleford. And I do NOT ship Fiddauthor. Honestly I always ship Ford with OCs because there's nobody in the canon but Jheselbraum who deserves him and (hahaha) Valiska Courinna, my OC, did most of the stuff that Jheselbraum did, in my RP and in my fic, before Journal 3 came out and I even knew about Jheselbraum's existence.

Sorry. I know some of my mutuals ship Fiddauthor really hard, so I usually keep my mouth shut about it as I believe that everyone has the right to ship what they want, but from a canonical perspective, I think both Fiddleford and this ship suck.

Jazz is cool, sexy, and funny. There's not enough of him anywhere. They should have spent more time on Jazz. Mirage is a bougie wannabe Jazz and not nearly as cool. I adore JazzWave as a sexy rivalry even though RavWave is my OTP (it's not like they're strictly monogamous LMAO) and if you've got far enough in Voice of Stanix to be past the point where Jazz shows up you probably already knew this. He is also very open and loving and I think he is almost certainly poly.

There are not a whole lot of Autobots I like all that much (compared to the number of Decepticons I fucking adore) but I love Jazz and I would bang the hell out of him if, you know, allowances could be made for size differential and the relative tolerances of flesh and metal. I feel like he would be really smooth and really good at it. He's just adorable and fun. And also an incredible special ops dude and good at assassination and sabotage but um, we all know that's what I like in a mech right?

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

search man's a weird guy. he's got two heads that talk separately, but they share a single personality and have to swap sentience between them. honestly makes you wonder why the two heads are there at all. wily thought it would be good to give the guy two brains so that he could think twice as much, but the problem is that only one is active at a time and so you still really only have the mental efficiency of one dude. good job, wily, you fucking dunce. man i sure wish you had the ability to think twice as much, but then again we’d probably miss out on the guy who put a fucking pirate hat on his dinosaur mech.

actually, no, it's even worse, because it's like all the fun of having crippling dissociative identity except without the fun. you don't even get a spontaneous alternate state of personality that you can't keep track of, you don't get to be anime-quirky and have a secret personality hidden within with an extra power level that you can tap into if you dive deep inside and become one with yourself. he just blacks out for the briefest period of time and then the other head takes over and then they gotta somehow remember what the fuck is going on and keep doing what they were doing. his alternate head isn’t even named rescue man, which is really the worst part.

you’re watching a war documentary and just munching on a burger, then ketchup spurts out and spatters on you and you’re like aw man, i liked this shirt. then you black out with no warning and your second self wakes up and sees people with guns charging at him and red on his chest and FOR THE ALAMO MOTHERFUCKERS THERE IS NO LAND FOR US BEYOND THE VULVAAAAA. imagine making breakfast in the morning and spreading butter on bread, man, i’m gonna have a good breakfast. fuckin’ BUTTER on BREAD, hell yeah. then you just black out with no warning whatsoever and then your first self wakes up a split second later with a knife and a breadbag and it’s like I UNDERSTAND WILY I WILL NOW ASSASSINATE THE CEO OF BIMBO BREADS. MY MISSION IS NOW TO SUBDUE ALL SEXFUCKERS!!!

i could go into the implications of what this means about sex but honestly the mere thought is legitimately horrifying. this is supposed to be a shitpost blog, not a true crime blog. just don’t fuck search man, ez gg.

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

A Knightverse Blitzwing Theory

I haven’t talked much about how much I love the Bumblebee (2018) movie but more news about the next live action Transformers movie coming out, I really wanted to share this insane theory I had about the Knightverse Transformers films so buckle in. 

If you haven’t seen the Bumblebee movie, please go watch it and then come back to this as this post will have spoilers and it is hands down on of the absolute best live action Transformers movies ever made. So after this point, there are spoilers for that movie, Transformers Prime, and IDW comics. You have been warned. 

Background about the movie first: when the first trailers dropped, fans noticed that this dude right here looked an awful lot like Starscream. Similar colors, similar body type, obviously a flyer, etc. Not a lot was clear from the first few trailers except that he was on Earth. So the assumption was that maybe Starscream was the big bad of the movie. 

Now if you’ve seen the movie, you’d know, that’s not Starscream, that’s Blitzwing. And you may have been confused like me. How is that Blitzwing? He looks nothing like Blitzwing! All of the Knightverse characters are supposed to be based on G1 designs and this is G1 Blitzwing’s design. 

They look nothing alike so what gives? One theory most people have is that originally that was going to be Starscream. But if you’ve seen the movie, you know that Blitzwing dies on Earth after fighting with Bumblebee. He gets exploded on a military training base. And if this movie was going to have a sequel, you can’t have one of the most famous and recognizable Decepticons die right off the bat, that would limit your options for future movies. So maybe they got 70% of the way through, realized they needed Starscream for a future sequel, and didn't have time to remake his CGI model and said "screw it this is Blitzwing now."

But I think this isn’t the last we've seen of Blitzwing in the Knightverse movies. I've noticed that big name franchise movies like to put in a big twist or surprise recently (I'm looking at you Godzilla vs. King Kong (2021). That surprise was divine.) So my theory is that Blitzwing as we know him, as a triplechanger, will make an appearance either in the next Knightverse movie or a future one as a rebuilt version of himself as a supersoldier for the humans.

In Bumblebee, part of the human government worked with the two main villains of the movie, Decepticons Shatter and Dropkick, both of whom are triplechangers. Both die at the end of the movie. But the government knows about Decepticons now, knows about triplechangers, and if there's one thing the American government loves more than anything else, it's money and power. 

And where did Blitzwing die? A military training facility. 

So in the next Knightverse movie or the third one, we are going to see a Blitzwing that has been completely rebuilt by the US government to be used a weapon. Transformers Prime already showed that a human could inhabit a Cybertronian body after death and pilot it around like a mech and in the IDW comics, Blitzwing was found injured and mangled and was being rebuilt by the US government as a weapon. He’ll probably be rebuilt as a triplechanger, since that’s what the government was exposed to, but may end up going crazy from the modifications, a la Animated, if he regains consciousness. 

I’m really hoping this is what they do, but I won’t be surprised if Blitzwing in the Knightverse is just gone forever. 

[erimeows]

Intervention, Baby

Unlike many of his Autobot counterparts, Prowl adored organics- especially the ones on earth, whether that be the plants, animals, or humans.

His favorite, though? You. You by far. 

After arriving on earth, Prowl had become obsessed with people watching, usually taking long strolls around the city or going to public parks to watch how humans lived their daily lives. Something about the human species by itself was captivating, but when he’d seen you for the first time, (e/c) eyes and (h/l) (h/c) hair shining under the bright sun as you walked into the local flower shop, he had been completely and utterly enthralled. He’d known that he was supposed to avoid interactions with humans that weren’t necessary according to Prime, but he hadn’t been able to help himself that day. So, he’d gone into the flower shop and sparked a conversation with you to figure out exactly what it was that had him so interested; what it was about you that was so different than the other humans he watched.

You had just moved to Detroit from your hometown for a new job, which explained why he hadn’t seen you before that, and as he’d talked to you that day, he became more and more intrigued. You’d started renting a house nearby, with your very own flower garden, which you showed him that day. He hadn’t been able to tell you much at the time about Cybertron for security reasons, but what he did tell you about himself, you listened to intently. You were a great listener, with kind eyes and a bright smile that made his spark stop at times.

Prowl had been a cautious bot. Whatever caution he had maintained since being on earth had flown out the window with you, though, as he fell quickly, often sneaking away from the Autobots to spend time with you at your house or visit you at your job. A strong friendship was quickly formed, and with how much he was gone, his teammates quickly became suspicious.

It started with questions, the others asking where he was all the time and why he was suddenly so interested in stopping by flower and gardening shops whenever they were out. Naturally, Optimus was the first to figure it out, asking if he’d met someone and then leaving the subject alone when Prowl avoided the subject. However, Bumblebee was the next to catch on, and he had no sense of personal boundaries, so he dragged Bulkhead along to follow him to your house. While it wasn’t the best first impression, that was how you met Bumblebee and Bulkhead, and eventually Optimus and Ratchet as well- since the secret was out in the open now and no one seemed to disapprove of you, Prowl had started bringing you around the Autobot base.

The rest was history, but the more Prowl developed his relationship with you, the more fearful he became for the future. He was a wise and emotionally mature bot, he figured, but he didn’t know how to handle his feelings for you. He had fallen in love. He was cybertronian, you were human, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to initiate anything- not that he thought you returned the feelings anyways. No, you were too pure and sweet, kind and beautiful, fragile and soft. He feared hurting you most of the time. He feared falling deeper. He feared starting something he couldn’t finish and leaving you hurt in the end, but each day he spent with you only made it worse.

Why did he love you? Why couldn’t he have fallen for another Autobot? Why a human? The thoughts plagued his processor constantly, but when you reached over to grab one of his digits and pull him along to show him something in your garden or smiled up at him, he couldn’t help it. You were so soft and delicate, but you still treated him like you would anyone else. You weren’t scared of him, you always offered a listening ear when he needed it, and you opened up to him in return.

Warm, bright, radiant- Prowl felt like you were all of the things that he wasn’t, and as he returned to base and walked into the main room, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. Spending time with you seemed exhausting nowadays. He always left with a troubled processor and an uneasy feeling. Was it right to keep seeing you when he knew it wouldn’t go anywhere? Would his unresolved feelings get in the way of your friendship? What was he to do at this point? As much as he’d tried to simply make the feelings go away, he couldn’t; couldn’t develop an interest in anyone else, couldn’t think of anything he didn’t like about you to kill his attraction, couldn’t will it away. Nothing worked, so he drowned himself in it, and while he would have loved to sulk for a little bit, his attention was captured by his team.

He’d walked into... Something, though he wasn’t quite sure what that something was yet. His entire team was crowded onto the living room couch, silent, staring up at him. Seeing them all in one room at the same time was rare when they weren’t sharing energon or working against the Decepticons, but seeing them all in one room and quiet? Something was wrong. 

“Where did you just come from, Prowl?” Bumblebee, who was sitting in the middle of the couch with Bulkhead to his right, crossed his arms as he asked the oddly accusatory question and leaned forward.

“(y/n)’s, why?” Prowl answered. He was so uneasy that he found himself shifting his weight from one pede to the other and averting his gaze. While he wasn’t normally avoidant like that, when it came to you, he couldn’t help how nervous he got.

“Don’t worry about it, but-” Bulkhead started, letting out a nervous chuckle.

The atmosphere was tense and awkward. Optimus Prime, next to Bulkhead on the edge of the couch, wouldn’t even look at him. Meanwhile, Ratchet, who was on the other side of Bumblebee, appeared to be growing increasingly agitated with each second that passed. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Prowl finally demanded, which made Bumblebee stand up and point right at him with a huge grin.

“Intervention, baby!” The yellow bot cheered.

“Intervention? I’m not abusing substances if that’s what you’re-”

“No, no, that’s not what we’re getting at, you bucket of bolts!” Ratchet groaned and face-palmed. “We’re here to talk about you and (y/n)!”

There were two ways this could go, and Prowl wasn’t sure which one he hated more.

One, his team could be concerned about him spending so much time with a human who had nothing to do with their cause. It was a valid concern and he knew it- spending so much time with you put you in at risk of getting involved with the Decepticons like Sari, and unlike Sari, you had no key or Cyber-organic powers to protect you. You were simply human, and it wasn’t fair to you to put you in danger the way he was. But he was selfish.

Two, his team could be concerned about his feelings for you. Whether for the aforementioned reasons or because they had to watch the two of you interact all the time, he wasn’t sure, but it would make sense. He certainly hadn’t expected them to call an intervention over either issue, though, so all he could do was stand there.

They were staring at him. 

It was... Embarrassing, to say the least.

“I don’t see why this would be considered even remotely appropriate- And Optimus, Ratchet,” Prowl glared at the two older bots, knowing damn well that they knew better than to do this to him. “I expect it from these two, but you? I thought you were more mature than this, but I see I was mistaken.”

“Don’t come at us with your maturity spiel when you can’t even mech up enough to tell (y/n) your true feelings,” Ratchet spat.

“Ratchet, you could have phrased that with a bit more tact, but I do believe you are correct,” Optimus agreed with a small nod and offered a smile, glancing at Ratchet and then at Prowl. “While we don’t have the right to dictate what you do, Prowl, it’s become obvious to everybot what’s going on, and... We all support you. You should be honest with (y/n) and tell her the truth. Love is something that should be appreciated and cherished, not hidden away.”

“Yeah! Plus, it hurts to watch you two dance around each other when it’s so obvious what’s going on,” Bumblebee argued. “She likes you back-”

“No, she doesn’t, and even if she did, how would this work?” Prowl raised his voice without meaning to, and the moment he heard how loud his volume was, he paused to take a deep breath and reflect. His team had good intentions, they wanted him to be happy and enjoy a relationship for once, but he was so scared. Why couldn’t they leave him alone? With a sigh, he spoke again, not daring to look at any of his friends. “I’m Cybertronian and she’s organic, and we could have to go back to Cybertron any day now- or, even worse, the Decepticons could kill us. Would it not be selfish of me to confess my feelings for her, start a relationship, and then leave or die? Assuming that she wants anything to do with me, that is.”

“Listen, I get where you’re coming from, but you’ve heard the saying here on earth that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, haven’t you? (y/n) would be more upset if you left or died without telling her the truth than she would be if you told her beforehand. No matter what happens in the end, at least she’d have some closure that way, because she does love you too,” Bulkhead insisted.

“No, she doesn’t,” Prowl mumbled, not having any other defense. Did he think you loved him like that? No, but did he have definite proof that you didn’t? Also no, so he was left without a solid defense, but too stubborn to concede to his friends’ (valid) points. “You’re wrong.”

“Yeah she does, dude, you’re just wrong,” Bumblebee walked over to him and put a servo on his shoulder, meeting his optics, uncharacteristically intense- borderline angry. “How can you even know if you haven’t talked to her about it?”

“How can you know?” Prowl defended and jabbed a digit into the younger bot’s chest plate. The two continued to stare each other down for a few moments before Bee finally sighed and looked away.

“Because I’ve talked to her about it.”

“...Oh. I see,” The black and gold bot took a step back and fidgeted with his servos. He had never expected for you to confide in Bumblebee about such a matter, but then again... Aside from Prowl himself, Bumblebee was your best friend and always had been since he’d started bringing you around. The two of you were similar; innocent, kindred souls with similar interests. Unlike Prowl, the yellow bot brought out your more energetic, fun side, making you laugh constantly, but... He hadn’t been aware of the fact that Bumblebee was a confidant for you, too. Part of him was jealous, but he tried to shove that down with a tense swallow. “I’m going to take my leave, then.”

“That’s what I thought,” The smaller bot smirked, earning a glare from Prowl in return.

“Get bent.”

~

That entire night and the day after were spent locked in his room reflecting upon everything; his feelings, you, the advice that his teammates had given him during their little “intervention”, the potential consequences of what he was about to do.

Whether he wanted to or not, he knew that he needed to confess. What if one of you died without ever saying anything? What if he went back to Cybertron without ever having the chance to tell you the truth and regretted it? What if you had to leave Detroit someday? It was too big of a problem to leave unresolved given how chaotic and unpredictable your lives were, even if he was scared of what could happen. Plus, half the battle was you loving him back, and if Bumblebee told the truth the day prior, you already did.

So, Prowl sat on your roof. Waiting. You were outside for whatever reason despite it being midnight on a Tuesday in human time, laying in your backyard and admiring your flowers. Since it was a warm fall, they were growing quite well, your pumpkin crop in particular thriving. He’d been watching you for a while; (s/c) skin glowing as the moonlight shone upon your body, (f/c) shorts and a black sleepshirt hugging your frame. Your (e/c) eyes were currently trained on your rosebush, though he was sure you had noticed his presence- even though he wasn’t visible behind your chimney, you had an amazing knack for being able to feel when he was there, visible or not. 

“(y/n)?” The Autobot finally spoke, emerging from his hiding place and jumping down into your backyard to stand next to where you lay. 

You sat up to look at him with a tired smile. It was late and you had work tomorrow... Something must’ve been on your mind, too. Perhaps the two of you were in sync with your recent concerns.

“Hey, Prowl, you’re up late. Why don’t you lay with me?” Unable to say no to you, Prowl did just that, joining you on the grass and laying with his back on the ground. The stars that littered the sky were fogged up by the city lights, but while he normally would’ve been agitated by it, you were better to stare at, so he didn’t mind too much. “You sat on my roof for a while and didn’t even talk to me. What’s keeping you?”

“Ah, it’s nothing, I just-” The ninjabot started, close to denying everything flat out and ignoring the subject of his feelings yet again before realizing that’s what the problem was. He couldn’t open up to you and it was making everything convoluted, so with a sharp breath, he gathered all of his willpower and spoke to you again. “No, you know what? I’m tired of this.”

“What?” You looked shocked at the sound of his agitated tone, eyebrows furrowing together as you sat up and glanced at him, making him sit up as well. Your (e/c) eyes burned into his ocean optics in that moment, and a brief silence washed over the two of you before he spoke again.

“I’m tired of us hiding from each other,” Unable to help himself, Prowl leaned closer to you and reached over to rest a servo on one of your hands. “Be honest, what are your feelings towards me?”

You stopped, your breath visibly catching in your throat. The black and gold bot could immediately tell you were nervous, terrible at hiding your negative emotions like you had been since he’d met you, but he let you have as much time as you needed.

“Prowl, it’s a bit sudden for you to ask something like that out of nowhere. You know we’re friends-” You started, but when you looked closer at his face, you gave him a defeated sigh that made him realize; you knew he knew. “Who told you?”

“So it’s true,” He stated, holding your hand tightly and giving a soft frown. Your face was painted with the same fear and anxiety that he’d felt over loving you for so long now. 

Part of him was happy that you loved him back. The other part almost wished you didn’t, wished you could live your life happy and blissfully unaware to avoid the risk of getting your heart broken.

“I’m sorry,” You apologized.

“What do you have to be sorry for, sweetspark?” Prowl asked, tone gentle as he used his spare hand to caress your cheek and leaned in to rest his helm against yours. “I’d be a fool not to reciprocate, but I want to hear it for myself before I do anything. Tell me how you feel.”

“I’m in love with you, Prowl,” You admitted. A couple of tears welled up in your eyes and flowed down your cheeks, those of which Prowl wiped away with his thumb. “I’ve been captivated since the moment I saw you, and I never planned on telling you. I’m afraid of you getting attached to me and not being able to handle it if we ever have to separate because I’m sure there will be a day when you have to go back to your home planet. You can’t stay forever, and I can’t go with you.”

“I feel the same way... I love you too, (y/n)- so much that I don’t think you understand. I held off because I fear having to leave you someday, but I realized that we should take advantage of what time we have left and try our best to make this work,” In between his words, you let out what he assumed was a sigh of relief, making him do the same. Prowl quickly felt the weight of his anxieties leaving his chest and shoulders. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against your plump, warm lips, then withdrew to press a few more against your cheeks and forehead. You giggled; a sound he would listen to for the rest of his life if he could. “I think we’ll be alright in the end.”

“I...” You grinned and leaned into him with another laugh. “I think so, too. But who told you?”

“That’s... Quite the story. You see, yesterday afternoon, I got back to the base after visiting you and...”

Prowl smiled as well as he started his story. Things were complicated, and he knew this was risky, but you wrapping an arm around one of his and gripping his hand made him realize just how worth it you were. 

Maybe that intervention hadn’t been too bad of an idea after all.

[akitaauthority]

TFP If You Ship...

Ultra Magnus

I would also like to warn yall, I do roast the shit outta these ships and you. Some of y'all are nasty and need to be told/reminded, and some of you need to stay far the fuck away from me. Aight? Aight lets begin.

MagOp/OpMag/Magnimus/ Ultra Magnus x Optimus Prime: You pretentious bitch. You absolute fucking- I have no fucking words to describe how beige you are. You 're personality is plain oatmeal. Message me. I want to beat your ass. You prolly like them for the fact that they can relate to each other, and because of their importance to the war. But I hate you cause you also have more content. Fuck you. May your cereal turn soggy before you can eat that shit, may your drawing tablet get so hot in that one corner that you can fry bacon on that bitch. Fuck you.

MagMeg/Magatron(ew)/ Ultra Magnus x Megatron: you eat mayonnaise with a fucking spoon. Y'all saw that one scene with them on Darkmount and was just like "hm, but what if fuck?" and ran with it. You went to Ao3 expecting kinky shit, but all you got was stuff for IDW Megs and Mags and honestly baby, its gon' be okay.

Matchet/Ragus?/ Ultra Magnus x Ratchet: Yes we get it, the old man can dom now shut the fuck up. If taking your S/O to the nursing home as a date was a ship it'd be these old crotchety ass bitches. But, but, on a more serious note this ship can be so therapeutic for both mechs. These two were there way before the start of the war, they lived through it, and they knew Optimus all throughout. I imagine Ratchet would tell Magnus about Orion before his ascension to the primacy. I ain't ever been more depressed scrolling through a tag though, y'all broke bitches need whatever the fuck UltraScreen is having.

Magbee/Ultra Bumble/Ultra Magnus x Bee: I ain't ever seen two same heighted Cybertronians in a relationship, always one of'em gotta be spike suckin' height.

UltraJack/ Ultra Magnus x Wheeljack: Listen, listen, both these mechs love their solitary time and it can create so much angst, SO MUCH. Magnus feeling he must uphold his duties and Wheeljack having a mindset similar to a pirate. His spark belongs to the stars AND Magnus, but the stars will always come first. But bitch this is Ultra Magnus. We horny. We know Wheeljack is a fucking brat, and Ultra Magnus is his Dom.... baby we nasty. We nasty and there is no fucking denying that shit my GOD.

Ultrabulk/ Ultra Magnus x Bulkhead: Listen man as crazy as this might sound, I think this could work. Just like any other ship with Bulkhead you are fucking STRUGGLING though dude, you got like 5 fics you keep coming back to. You cry at night, knowing, and praying, that the gods will smile upon you and bless you with an update. You know you struggling when you only got three fics that have this ship as the focus. If y'all ban together I'm sure you can scrounge together like three pieces of fanart and a lint roller between the four of you.

UltraScream/ Ultra Magnus x Starscream: I don't see how anyone could hate this ship. Like, they literally work as really good foils to each other. You've got Magnus who is loyal as fuck, very militaristic??? And very much involved with the safety of his team. He's described as recklessly brave. Starscream on the other hand has a lot of character to work on and Magnus could help him along with that, and he can teach Magnus self preser- fucking-vation because Mr. "gets fucking chomped by a predacon for another bitchass Autobot" needs it. You're fuckass wants someone to save you, or you want to go absolutely apeshit. You are the mom friend everyone is worried about.

Ultracee/ Ultra Magnus x Arcee: Huh?? I mean like....Okaaaayy?? I mean good for you. This ship makes me feel the way that you feel when someone offers you candy you don't like, but you wouldn't mind eating it so you do. To be honest the people who ship this definitely see diamonds in places others wouldn't expect, but like you're so fucking unnessecary oh my god. Like you prolly add weird ass comments to other peoples statements, ain't nobody out here asking for an echo. Sit down.

UltraShock: ya like'em thicc don't you commanding officer Ultra Magnus? Anyway maybe y'all could team up with UltraBulk shippers and add a pile of used soda cans to the pile. Y'all are ghosts, do you even exist on this plane. My guesstimate on how many people actually ship this forreal is like 5.

Ultrawave/MagnusSound/Magnus x Soundwave: Listen if the Ultrabulk shippers are starving y'all ain't even corporeal. I show up to this ship with a fucking ghost talk box and some heat sensors, and like one boombox tryna see if GHOSTS even inhabit this bitch. Y'all aight? Are y'all good?? HELLO IN THERE (hello in there) (hello in there). Yall really go all out for the goth shit. Prolly hidin' in the shadows of my house waiting to strike.

Ultrascreen:

You, and I mean this in the most (derogatory) way possible, are a fucking

HOE

Literally looked on AO3 saw nearly NOTHING BUT kinky MF PORN. The oooonly plot y'all got is exactly how long Ultra Magnus can deny Smokescreen an overload. Why every time it comes to Magnus people make this by the books vanilla bitch the kinkiest one. YES I love subverting expectations but can I PLEASE get one fic where he sputters because his partner says a bad word. These two are the main ones who get this treatment, and baby I ain't complaining, but please. Please just- please sir I-I a-ah!

Ultradown: The UltraBulk, and UltraWave shippers come here every year, at the exact same location, at the exact same time, all for this ritual. The UltraWave shippers take out a boombox, some energon candies, and a supersized Cybertronian false spike. The UltraBulkers begin to sing the incantation to summon their fallen comrade: https://youtu.be/m9We2XsVZfc. They must do this once every year, they must battle the UltraDown shippers, though most would say they are a myth, the UltraShock and UltraWave shippers know better.

MagnusOut/KnockMagnusOut?/Ultra Knockout: Listen its not as horny as Smokescreen but the constant tension is definitely there. Knockout is just as horny as the depressed, RE-pressed ass Magnus fans and can you really blame him? Boyfriend? Dead. Magnus? kinky. Hotel? California.

/If I missed any let my gay ass know. Sorry if this ones lackluster, but some of these ships don't even really seem to have a fanbase?? Remember that these are TFP ships y'all.

Also I better see more Bulkhead content after this. Do you all have a problem with truly thicc bootyful babes or what?