#♰.˚ ⌗ ; 𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐇

[grotesque-illusion]

Why can't people just pay attention to me and compliment me and tell me how much they adore me?? Why do I have to deal w crashes all the damn time n have NOONE willing to help me w them. Is everyone so effing USELESS that they can't do ONE SINGLE THING FOR ME??

[grotesque-illusion]

Having both HPD n NPD feels like ppl are ignoring me on purpose 😒 They KNOW I have both. They KNOW I need attention n supply, n yet they don't give me it

[grotesque-illusion]

I'm unfortunately aware I wouldn't be able to handle having someone close to me who is also a narcissist. I'd pick fights w em cuz I NEED to be better

But also I RLY want someone to think of me as their superior n for sum reason only other narcissists would give me the world if I asked, but I can't give it back

I need someone to worship me n treat me like their God. Treat me like royalty if not the divine. Tell me how much you crave me in all the different ways, send me hornii messages saying how badly you want me. Literally WHATEVER comes to your mind. Jus say it. I will adore it~ ❤️

However, I will treat you badly. I'll love-bomb you n then when I'm bored of ya I'll discard you~. I'll give you special attention n then act like you don't exist unless it's for my personal gain~

I WISH I could provide something bacc sometimes, but unless I already care abt you it won't happen. N cuz we're a system I can't afford to put us in a situation where I'm jus using another person

[grotesque-illusion]

Seeing every narcissist unite on this site is making me LAUGH

It gives me a sense of superiority when I realise I am better than them for being independent~ ❤️

[grotesque-illusion]

The absolute urge to start making TikTok videos so that people could give me attention~ 😍❤️

I don't actually have a reason not to~! And it seems like a fair deal to me 😘 they get to harass me and I get to enjoy the attention

Plus it'll definitely give me an ego boost when all the ppl there tryta unite against me~. If you'll put THAT much effort into hating me, might as well kiss my ass instead~ 😘

[grotesque-illusion]

Have ya ever been so deep in denial you've convinced yourself everything is fake?

Despite the amount of traumagenic disorders, despite the amount of signs of obvious trauma

And if someone tries to tell me that we are traumatised, it'll further push me to find out shit I'm not supposta know and cause another system crisis that'll last for months or longer depending on what i find

I'm not sure which is worse anymore 😮‍💨 I wish we could jus get a sign from outsiders rather than questioning everything all the time

[grotesque-illusion]

If anyone has sum kinda server or group of ppl then let me in cuz I'm so damn bored n want to meet new ppl

Preferably a server/group that accepts HPD n NPD cuz I hafta deal w both so now you have to deal with me ❤️

[grotesque-illusion]

Quick question: how the eff to stop obsessing over beauty cuz I'm about to either kill ourselves or whoever else talks to me next

[grotesque-illusion]

❝ 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐀 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐄 ! ❞

⁺‧₊˚ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ⁺‧₊˚

⁺‧₊˚ 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐔𝐒 . . . ♱ ˚₊‧⁺

𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑

,, he / him

,, cat & succubus hybrid

,, host , sexual alter — bpd & hpd

𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐇

,, she / her

,, vampire & succubus hybrid

,, persecutor — hpd & npd

— we are a part of a DID system. we will be the only ones posting for now, if anything changes we will update the blog

𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐃

— ,, there are times where we will be blended, in that case we use he / she pronouns, and might use our names interchangeably

⁺‧₊˚ 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 . . . ♱ ˚₊‧⁺

— this blog will be extremely personal and might contain sensitive or inappropriate topics. we will provide a content/trigger warning, however it's on you if you decide to read it

— we will tag posts accordingly depending on who fronts and what the topic of the post is. some tags might just be for our organisation, others will have a trigger or content warning

— we are a safe space for systems and people with personality disorders of any cluster

⁺‧₊˚ 𝐃𝐍𝐈 . . . ♱ ˚₊‧⁺

— general dni, otherwise, if we have a problem with you, we'll block you and move on. if you keep coming back after you've been blocked you will be made fun of

[grotesque-illusion]

Hi

Completely effing forgot abt this. Hi hunii~ ❤️

[grotesque-illusion]

TRIGGER WARNING : weight issues, disordered eating vent post, internalised fatphobia (?)

"Don't starve yourself", "don't go below these amount of calories", etc.

Yea right. As if I'd ever let myself continue eating normally when I saw the numbers on that damned scale. As if I'd ever let myself ruin my beauty by being fat. Ruin my chances at having the PERFECT body jus to take care of the vessel that DAMNED me for eternity

I need to look PERFECT. Otherwise NOONE will CARE. NOONE WILL LOOK AT ME, NOONE WILL THINK IM ATTRACTIVE. How can I LIVE knowing that ppl DON'T think I'm attractive???

I rly wish we could starve, but we have strict parents. The only thing I CAN do is exercise n I'm not even doing THAT RIGHT. CUZ THIS VESSEL IS WEAK N CAN'T HANDLE A BIT OF EXERCISE

WHO thought that having a histrionic n narcissistic succubus live in THIS VESSEL would be a GOOD IDEA??