#𓂃 ࣪ ˖ ✧ angst

[h2llish]

【╰ヾ❝ I SURVIVED ✧„

━━ "and i survived!" ☆ it's not an x reader just about yuu, angst no comfort, yuu is grieving, mentions death but nobody dies, they/them pronouns used for yuu

overblots; yuu had come to see them as an everyday occurrence. it was like an overblot occurred soon as they thought they were finally moving past the last. they were just a kid, tossed into a world of magic and monsters. into a world that might as well consider them an alien because they're from somewhere entirely different, possibly another dimension! they couldn't defend themselves against the students with large egos who thought it was empowering to tease the student who couldn't use magic. they couldn't help when it came down to trying to free the students who were lost to blot. they were tired.

but nobody seemed to care about that, not until it was convenient to them. when yuu didn't know something everyone in this odd world knew, students insulted them until they remembered yuu wasn't from twisted wonderland. when yuu was forced to sit on the sidelines as their friends rode on brooms and learned to summon magic, they deflated and tried to hide.

nobody bothered to check in on the magicless prefect living in an abandoned dorm, running around to complete errands for a headmage who didn't care about what happened to them so long as they could benefit him. threatening to withhold the resources they needed to survive and get food for themself and the dire beast they shared the title of student with.

no one bothered to check if they were injured amongst the chaos of overblots, and they were. forced to hide scares under gloves and sleeves, masking limps and whimpers whenever the fabric brushed against a healing injury. their visits to the nurse's courters were frequent, so much so, that they knew the office inside and out, no longer needing the mages to help them find bandages or healing liquids.

while they loved their friends, who seemed to be the only ones who cared enough to want them to come back in one piece ━ none of them were very attentive. deuce, who sometimes missed the way blood stained the cuffs on their old uniform jacket after they reopened another wound. ace, who remained oblivious to when yuu would flinch and bite back a groan at the weight he added to their healing leg when he would lean against them. grim, who bought every lie yuu would say when he asked if they were going to eat as well, only for them to brush him off with a "not hungry".

yuu loved their friends, who thought yuu invincible with the chaos they had to deal with on a daily. so yuu hid, the pain, the tears, the moments in which they pulled at their hair and fought back a scream. but there were times yuu wished they'd just notice. there were times yuu wanted to shout "i'm not! i'm human!". but yuu chose to say nothing, only hoping helplessly that someone will see them, that they will finally catch themselves a break where they can sit back and not worry about dying every day.

but even yuu questioned whether that could ever happen; and they fed into the idea that it won't.

they were tired, exhausted. they wanted to go home, back to their parents, to the old squeaky plank in their home that made sneaking around impossible, to the window in their bedroom that was accidentally painted shut. they wanted to be back in the comfort of their bed, where they knew they would be safe; from the ego-inflated students, from crowley, from the overblots.

their exhaustion was evident in their heavy eyebags and slow movements. yet they still gave their all in their studies, even when the words blurred and moved. they still fought and argued with grim to keep him out of trouble and avoid another scolding from crowley. and perhaps it was that that made everyone think twice about asking if they were okay. maybe, it was because they never cared.

maybe they only felt alarmed when yuu found themselves unable to tell right from left and up from down, feet slipping out from under them as they fell back, hard.

whatever it was, yuu still found themselves lying in a cot as the events from earlier finally caught up to the. vision blurred as they adjusted to the brightness of the room.

oh, they thought rather blandly as they found themselves sitting up with the help of someone, staring blankly at the freshmen they called friends scolding them for neglecting their health. but yuu wasn't listening, the boy's voices nothing but white noise in their ears as they glanced around the room. confusion filled their chest, only for a moment, before their senses went numb again as they realized who had joined them in their room; housewardens and vice housewardens, and regular students too. everyone they knew in this cursed school.

"━just how many meals have you skipped?"

noise, their mind finally picked up the noise that came with ace' voice. they turned to him, blinking slowly as they took in his words, but failing to bite back a huh.

"they said you've lost a lot of weight, your skin has become unhealthy, and you lack proper vitamin and nutrition." deuce explained, voice soft and lips in a frown. but yuu's guilt at causing such an expression was nowhere to be found.

they hummed, finding it almost difficult to hold up their head as they lifted the sleeve of their uniform to scratch at their wrist, a new habit they've obtained in twisted wonderland. their actions revealed a healed gash that ran from the middle of their wrist, and up their forearm, hidden beneath the rest of their uniform. those present noticed the deep scare, breaths hitched and eyes widening. where did they get that? why didn't they know?

"don' know." they finally mumbled, removing the attention from their scar as they let their sleeve slide back into place. "just wanted to feed grim. he needs to eat." the said dire beast deflated, ears pressed against his head.

"so do you!" epel shouted in return, pointing at the prefect who hardly batted an eye.

"you also haven't been sleeping." jack had added, eyeing the bags that dipped below their eyes, heavy and so noticeable he wondered how he missed them before.

but yuu didn't seem the least bit fazed, nodding lamely to jack's words, "yeah."

"why?" he asked, frowning.

yuu stared at him, blinking slowly as they tried to from a response in their exhausted mind, "oh," they mumbled, "the nightmares."

"nightmares?" a collection of voices repeated.

"mhm." was all they gave in response.

their lack of care to their physical state was obvious ━ frustrating for the large group of people who filled the office, surrounding yuu's cot.

and it was ace who voiced that, "yuu, they said you might as well be dead!"

that seemed to gain a reaction from yuu, although not one they had been expecting. their lips twitched, and they found themselves falling back on the cot, hardly seeming to care as the sound of their name being yelled out in a panic reached their ears. but then silence followed, and the only thing heard through the room, was laughs.

the prefect was laughing.

"death!" they shouted, laughs only seeming to grow louder, "by what, starvation? exhaustion? compared to everything else, that's how i almost went out!"

nobody moved as they watched yuu lose themselves to their rant, giggling almost manically. "after all the overblots," (several flinched at the reminder) "after i've been tossed into a wall, poisoned, and stabbed with thorns. lack of care almost killed me! this is great! hilarious! who woulda thought!"

"yuu?" deuce stuttered, exchanging glances with ace and grim.

"and i survived!" they didn't seem to be talking to anyone except themselves now, "i survived it all! and for what?"

their laughing trailed, voice taking on a sad tone, throwing an arm over their eyes as they giggled, watery and broken, "why'd i have to go and survive?"

"are you... are you okay, prefect?" epel asked, hesitant. a stupid question, he knew that.

yuu was silent for a moment, before they answered, "i haven't been okay since i was brought to this world."

and not a lie was heard in their tone.

just how much about the prefect of ramshackle had they missed?

starting the new year with this.

i just thought the psyche of yuu / the mc would be interesting. tossed into a world of magic and being the minority who are magicless (despite not being of twisted wonderland). nobody cares about them, and the one person who has the power to find a way for them to go back home is choosing to throw his workload on them and go on vacation. they've had to deal with overblot after overblot, and students who undoubtedly see them as a nuisance. they have no time to relax and have lived in a rundown dorm with holes and broken pipes. they're probably exhausted, and their mental health wared thin.

if anything, yuu deserves the applause and acknowledgement over everyone else in twst.

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[y2kuromi]

⭑ : 呪術廻戦 ❛ 𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗕𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗨𝗠𝗘 : satoru gojo x fem! reader

࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 synopsis: yuuji sees a completely different side of gojo-sensei !

contents: tooth rotting fluff w a dash of angst! established relationship (married), second person & told from yuuji’s pov. extremely whipped satoru! petnames, suggestive dialogue

summer isn’t over yet! collection, can be read as a stand-alone

yuuji was initially ecstatic about the prospect of living with gojo-sensei. he’d imagined lazing around, gorging on sweets and watching cartoons on tv — maybe a few training sessions squeezed in with gojo-sensei — ideally it would’ve been just the two of them.

his fantasies came crashing down when realised gojo-sensei’s “house” was actually a “home”. the walls in the foyer were riddled with picture frames. he felt like he was intruding on gojo-sensei’s personal life, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the pictures on the walls.

there was a woman beside gojo-sensei in most of the pictures. she had (e/c) eyes and (h/c) hair. a friend? or a girlfriend? — nah. according to fushiguro, gojo-sensei got zero play. though she had to mean something to him. it was evident in the way he looked at her.

his cerulean eyes entirely averted the camera lens, instead devoted to committing every inch of her to memory

“that’s my wife” gojo said softly,“she’s gorgeous isn’t she?” he laughed wryly as he stared lovingly at the smiling woman in the photo. yuuji nodded slowly, studying his teacher closely.

“is she okay with me hiding out here?” he asked tentatively, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

“ahhh about that” gojo says sheepishly, “i haven’t had the time to mention it to her so you’ll have to wait here while i talk to her” he ran a hand through his hair, snowy white tendrils curling around his fingers.

classic gojo-sensei.

“oh” yuuji chuckled, the situation was amusing to him. he couldn’t wait to tell fushiguro — the sour reminder that he couldn’t had his laughter dying in his throat.

gojo-sensei shrugged off his shoes and patted yuuji’s shoulder, “don’t worry she’ll say yes , i’ve got her wrapped around my finger”

yuuji waited patiently in the foyer, amber eyes flickering over the expensive decor and woodsy frames of gojo-sensei’s family. he could faintly make out traces of your conversation

"oh? you're home early for once" you smiled, leaning into your husband as he placed a kiss on your forehead. "what's the special occasion 'toru?"

"do i need a reason to want to see my beautiful wife?”

“nope” you hummed, “‘m just surprised to see you” not that you were complaining. satoru was a busy man and you cherished the rare moments you spent alone together

“how was your day sweets?” he asked, taking your hand in his, his thumb stroked over knuckles, soft, loving.

“same old” you shrugged, “we’ve got some big case coming up next week, so i was pretty busy today. had a tonne of paperwork and meetings too"

"my busy bee" he smiles, "i missed you s'much, i hate going on these stupid business trips"

"you'd like them more if i came with you" you said teasingly, poking his rib with your free hand "i ran into kento the other day, you sure i shouldn't come back to jujutsu sorcery too?"

"nuh uh" he shook his head firmly, "stay at your law firm pretty, 'm gonna need someone to defend me when i kill all the higher ups"

"what have they done now?" you sigh exasperatedly, turning the knob on the gas cooker and reducing the heat. the faint clicking sound echoes in the kitchen as the orange-blue flames simmered quietly.

"what haven't they done" he grumbled, leaning against the counter. he gently tugged at his blindfold, lithe fingers unveiling the cerulean eyes that you loved so much. his snowy hair fell softly around his face, a curtain that failed to hide the anger he felt coursing through his veins.

"poor baby" you cooed, hands trailing up to his face and cupping his cheeks, your fingers smoothed over the frown etched on his face, pushing his lips together in a duck-lipped pout, "wanna tell me about it?"

"y'know yuuji? the new first year that's sukuna's vessel?"

you nod, allowing your hands to fall from his face and rest on the counter. his greedy hands make their way to your waist, rubbing circles on the soft flesh peeking out beneath your untucked dress shirt.

"well they sent the first years on a mission to rescue people from the detention center, after sending me on that stupid mission overseas mind you, and the kid had to fight a special grade curse"

"is he okay?" you ask, hands ghosting over satoru's bigger, veiny ones. he sighs, a look of mild irritation fleeting over his face at the memory. in retrospect, none of that mattered now. he was home.

"yeah he's fine" he shrugs, "sukuna ripped his heart out and he died, but he revived him eventually"

"your definition of fine is questionable satoru" you snicker, and he feels his heart melting at the sound of your laughter. "why'd they send them on that mission anyways?"

"they just want yuuji dead, he was supposed to be executed remember? and they're really scared of sukuna which is crazy 'cause he's kinda weak"

"someone needs to humble you" you say, amusement dripping from your words like honey, "pride comes before fall 'toru"

"you humble me all the time sweets" he grins, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead.

"i'm just doing the universe a favour" you tease, "what do you want for dinner? rice? noodles? or we could order food from that thai joint you like if you want”

"i'll eat anything you cook sweets,” he murmurs, “though i have something else i wouldn’t mind eating”

“satoru” you gasped, “you just got home and you’re already trying to get between my legs” you smack his shoulder playfully

“i’ve missed her too” he shrugs, “i’ve missed all of you”

you shook your head, “can’t believe i married such a feen” a languid smile tugs at the corners of your lips. you could try all you wanted to resist his charms, but he’d always win in the end

"so...about yuuji" satoru starts, testing the waters, "the higher ups really want him gone, i can't keep him at jujutsu tech right now"

"i can see why you wouldn't" you hum, leaning on the tips of your toes to reach for the salt. satoru had a habit of placing the things you needed in places you couldn't reach just so he could have the honour of retrieving them for you

“need help with that sweets?” he asks eagerly, pushing himself off the counter and sifting through the wooden shelves. he easily brings the jar of salt down and hands it to you

"you have to stop doing this, it’s such an inconvenience" you sighed, but you were grateful nonetheless.“you’re insufferable i swear”

“‘m still yours” he says suavely. satoru’s smile is unwavering though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

you can tell the thing with yuuji is weighing heavily on his mind. he’s more restless than usual. his lithe fingers run up and down the counter as he stares into space

“‘toru?” you prompt, nudging him with your elbow, “i can hear you thinking”

“i don’t know where to keep him” he exhales, “i would ask shoko, or kento but then i’d risk getting them in trouble with the higher ups”

“what about the secret room we found in our third year?” you asked, “you could keep him there, unless they found out about it”

“i would keep him there.. but i just...don't want him to feel alone," he says softly. you didn’t think it was possible to fall even deeper in love with satoru, but he never failed to surprise you. “he's just a kid, so i— i want to look out for him.”

he knows it’s a big ask. you can hear the gears turning in his head as he figures out how to possibly convince you to let sukuna’s vessel stay in your home.

"can he stay?" he pleads, "can yuuji stay with us please? it’s only until the kyoto goodwill event" he's clasping his hands together, imploring you with his infinitely blue eyes. you raise an eyebrow. knowing satoru, yuuji was probably waiting around in the foyer

"he's already here isn't he?" you ask, shaking your head fondly as a guilty look flickers across his face. classic satoru. although you would've loved for him to give you a heads up, you didn't mind a bit. it would be nice to have some company when satoru went on his missions

 “i didn’t really have time to plan all the details before bringing him with me” he says, sheepishly rubbing a hand behind his neck, his fingers brushed against the soft strands of his undercut, "are you mad? don't be mad baby"

"no" you laugh, "i'm not mad 'toru, he can stay"

it’s the little things like this that make you realise just how much power you have over him. within seconds your husband is whirling you around, hands gripping your waist tightly and pressing chaste kisses on your face as he sets you down

"yuuji she said you can stay" a wide grin blooms across his face as he bounds into the foyer excitedly. the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, reduced to the faint resemblance of a child getting their first sleepover approved

you set the jar of salt down on the marbled counter. trailing after your husband. true to your suspicions, yuuji itadori had been standing awkwardly, twiddling his thumbs together in his hoodie pockets and silently taking in the intricacies of your home.

he couldn’t help but feel out of place.

there were pairs of everything — shoes neatly arranged on the coat rack. umbrellas tucked in a corner in the foyer. coats hung up next to each other on the wall.

the pale blue wallpaper hung row after row of framed photographs. their wooden mahogany panels reflected the warm lights. yuuji’s light brown eyes flickered on the pictures in all their glory and glossy sheen.

the ones that caught his eye captured a young fushiguro’s trademark scowl, the irritated quirk of his brow and the curled spikes of his hair that defied gravity.

he was standing beside a girl who looked just like him, except she was slightly taller with long bone-straight brown hair. yuuji’s eyes lingered on her smile as your beanstalk of a husband shook him excitedly

he wondered what fushiguro would say if he knew he’d seen pictures of him as a little kid. ( he’d probably summon his shikigami on him )

“really?” he beamed, eyes momentarily drawn away from the plethora of frames. you feel your heart melt into a sickly sweet puddle of happiness and warmth, as you watch satoru drape his arm over yuuji’s shoulder

“yes really” you laugh, “it’s nice to finally meet you yuuji, you’re a friend of megumi’s right?”

yuuji nods frantically, his mop of pink curls bouncing enthusiastically . his mannerisms were nervous and eager. he wanted to fit in. he wanted you to like him. you could tell — he reminded you oddly of your husband ( they were practically the same person in different fonts )

“speaking of megumi, he doesn’t know yuuji’s alive so please don’t let it slip when he calls you” satoru murmurs, taking slow steps towards you.

he knows he’s asking for too much now. you practically raised megumi and it would be nearly impossible for you to keep something like this from him. satoru can see the cogs spinning in your head, the subtle anger in your heart and for the first time in years he’s afraid.

“we’ll talk about this later” you say through gritted teeth. he pleads silently with his eyes and you swallow your protests, you exhale loudly before turning towards yuuji again “c’mon yuuji, i’ve just started on dinner”

yuuji kicks off his shoes and nudges them neatly beneath the shoe rack before padding after you. satoru isn’t far behind

“it smells really good mrs. gojo” yuuji says politely, as he takes a seat by the kitchen island, legs dangling as he drums on the smooth marbled counter.

“thank you yuuji” you beamed, “do you prefer rice or noodles?”

“ahh i’m not really picky” he says, “i like all kinds of food really, but i suppose rice? if it isn’t too much of a hassle, i really don’t want to be a bother-”

“slow down yuuji” you said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder, “i’m really glad to have you here, it gets kinda lonely when ‘toru’s away on business trips so make yourself at home okay?”

no wonder gojo-sensei was always happy, his wife was an angel. yuuji thought as he nodded fervently

“i can make the rice baby” satoru offers, his hands make their way around your waist, he doesn’t miss the way you stiffen under his touch. you’re mad at him, and he knows you have every right to be

“thank you” you said, putting as much feeling into the words as you could muster, “come with me yuuji, i’ll show you around”

yuuji was positive he was intruding now, standing in the middle of megumi’s room while you stripped navy blue pinstripe sheets off his bed and replaced them with canary dressings.

“are you sure i can sleep here?” he asks, “ i don’t mind taking the couch..”

you seemed horrified at the idea of yuuji sleeping alone on the couch. he still hadn’t come to terms with the fact that you actually wanted him here. he was so used to being unwanted

growing up with his grandpa was something he wouldn’t trade for the world, yet he’d always craved the warmth of a mother. a mother’s love was the purest, and there was nothing more blameless than the softness in your (e/c) eyes when you looked at him

“i mind yuuji” you frowned” and i want you to stay in gumi’s room, his clothes should fit you since you’re around the same height”

“thank you again for letting me crash here” yuuji didn’t think he could say it enough. he didn’t deserve such kindness, not when the king of curses lived rent free in his head

“don’t mention it yuuji” you said, “i meant what i said downstairs, i could really use the company”

you ruffled his hair softly before resuming your ministrations of making the bed. you tucked crisp sheets beneath the mattress and fluffed up pillows with ease.

“you’re a really good mom, why don’t you and gojo-sensei have any kids of your own?” yuuji only realises the question is slightly insensitive after the words hang in the air and an unreadable look fleets across your face, “i’m so sorry that was really rude of me-”

“you’re good yuuji” you laugh, you sit down on the freshly laid duvet and pat the space beside you. yuuji hesitates but he sits down eventually

“it just never happened y’know? we adopted tsu and gumi a few years back, plus toru’s always seen his students as his kids, he cares about you guys a lot”

“even me?” it doesn’t seem plausible to him. all he’s seemed to do is cause problems for gojo-sensei ever since he ate that gross finger

“especially you yuuji” you smiled, ruffling his hair, “you remind me of him funny enough, even though i used to hate him back in our school days”

“really?” he gawked, he was practically falling over megumi’s bed with anticipation.

“really” you affirmed , “he was a real piece of work back then, i bet he’s the reason yaga has so many grey hairs”

“how’d you fall in love with him then?” yuuji enquires, brown eyes sparkling with immense curiosity “and how’d you meet?”

“are you guys gossiping about me?” satoru gasps, peeking around the doorway, “how mean of you yuuji, i thought we were friends”

“ahhh we weren’t gossiping per-say, mrs. gojo was about to tell me how you met”

“can i tell him?” satoru’s eyes sparkle, “the way i remember it i walked into the common room and cherry blossoms started falling, classical piano was playing softly in the background and-”

“that didn’t happen” you said, “he’s finally going senile” you tried and failed to push satoru out the doorway but he stood his ground.

he stood almost toe to toe with you, a pleased grin blooming on his face as he towered over you. yuuji’s eye’s flickered between you and your husband, cheeks dusted a rosy pink as he stifled giggles

“it did happen!” satoru insisted, “i’m sure shoko has a recording of it somewhere, now as i was saying.. she took one look at me and fell head over heels in love”

“you’re deluded” you muttered, “i didn’t love you until our second year, get your facts right”

“so you did fall head over heels in love with me” he grinned, “so early too? i knew you couldn’t resist my charms — owww!”

satoru feigns as you finally manage to shove him out the door after hitting his shoulder. by now, yuuji is a spluttering mess on the soft tatami mats lining megumi’s floor

“i’ll tell you what really happened one of these days” you said over your shoulder, “you can shower and settle in, take as long as you need, we’ll wait for you to come downstairs before we start eating”

your smile falls the moment the door clicks shut behind you. satoru feels his heart shattering. he’s so sure he’s going to die because his wife is mad at him. the universe might as well combust into nothing but ashes

“baby-” satoru starts, catching your wrist in his palm. he grips the bone loosely, careful not to hurt you “‘m sorry, you know that, but megumi can’t know”

you trudge down the stairs in silence, opting only to speak when you’re seated beside satoru in the living room. your cat natsu watches you wearily from her cat post, slanted eyes shooting satoru a well meaning glare.

“you can’t ask me to keep this from him” you said, shaking your head, eyes looking everywhere but your husband’s piercing blue gaze. “you’re taking things too far now”

“i know” his voice is a mere whisper, the words barely speak themself into existence, “i’m being selfish again, but you’ve gotta understand (y/n)”

“i can’t” you splutter, you feel tears treading your waterline “put yourself in his shoes, c’mon satoru we’ve seen him at his worst, why would we do something that could hurt him?”

“i’m not doing this to hurt megumi, i’m doing this to protect yuuji”

“just think about it please” you frowned, “if instead of executing suguru they kept him alive and let us think he was dead, you’d never forgive them”

he doesn’t miss the way your voice catches over the three syllables. he doesn’t miss the way your fingers tremble against his forearm. he hates this — arguing with you, he could think of infinite things he’d rather do than this.

“that’s different” his voice is wavering now, “suguru made his choice, yuuji didn’t ask for any of this” he winces as the words fall from his lips. to think he’d stooped to speaking ill of the dead. he doesn’t believe that, not really.

“you still wouldn’t forgive them” you prompted, “and i don’t want ‘gumi to go through any more, tsumiki being in a coma is hard enough as it is”

“i know baby, i know” satoru says softly, he cups your trembling face in his hands and places the sweetest of kisses on the tears that threaten to stream down your cheeks, “trust me on this okay? he’ll be fine i promise”

“okay” you nod, letting your husband, your one and only, wipe away the tears spilling over your lashes.

satoru could really kill the higher ups for putting him in this position. one where he nearly sacrificed his wife’s happiness for something as insignificant as jujutsu sorcery. with his lips still pressed to the corners of yours, he makes a silent vow with himself

it would be you before everything. it was you before everything

“you’re so beautiful” he whispers, his thumb grazing your bottom lip “you. are. everything. to. me” he punctuates each word with a kiss. his lips committing every inch of you to memory

they ghost over your cheek, your quivering lip, your shoulder, your wrist, and finally the silver wedding band encasing your ring finger. and they linger on the cool silver for what seems to be eternity before satoru speaks up again

“dance with me?” he prompts, although he’s not really asking. he’s already whisking you onto your feet and starting up the record player. the vinyl spins on its axis, as constant as his infinite love for you.

“what?” you sniffed slightly, “like we did in our first year?”

“like we did in our first year”

satoru’s hands were on your hip, drawing you closer, he felt your chest brush against his for a second as he leaned into you. you swayed gently side to side, keeping in time with the intricate melodies streaming from the gramophone

his six eyes tell him his student is watching, listening. curious doe eyes peeking from the stairwell. he doesn’t mind. satoru had never been one to hide his affection. you were his. and he was infinitely yours.

“can i tell you a secret?” satoru murmurs, as he twirls you back into his arms. he wishes he could stay like this forever. with you. he’d selfishly sacrifice the universe to keep having moments like this. he would kill for you. he’s positive he would. he’d do it without hesitation.

“i thought we didn’t have any of those” you quipped. satoru feels his heart melting. watching the sadness in your eyes fade into utter bliss was like watching the sun come out after a rainy day. maybe even better.

“it’s a good one i promise” he grins, you raise a brow sceptically but you’re listening “i was the one who fell head over heels in love with you. way back in our first year…and i didn’t even know what love was, i was so confused”

“when did you know?” you asked, “you always say you knew the moment you saw me, but you were an asshole then”

“it was the first time we snuck out together” he admits, “when we went to that night market. you were right, i was jealous of suguru but could you blame me? i wanted you all to myself”

“you’ve always been so greedy” you giggled. satoru doesn’t need the six eyes to see that you love him regardless. it’s evident in the tenderness of your tone and the way your (e/c) sparkle when you look at him

“cut me some slack baby” he groans “i’m trying to be romantic”

“you don’t need to try, i heard through the grapevine i can’t resist your charms” you hummed

satoru cracks a smile at the inside joke, a slow symphony of contentment.he kisses you again and it’s sweet and full of blind adoration. loving you is his religion. the only thing he’s wholly committed to. your hands looped around his neck, carefully avoiding the ever-so-sensitive scar that ran beneath his chin

your hands founds repose in the soft strands of his hair, carefully threading through the ivory curls. satoru could feel himself melting into you, he clung to you as if he was scared to let go and his calloused hands clutched at the warmth that radiated from your skin. he was so impossibly close you could feel his eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks.

yuuji peered at the scene with stars in his eyes. he knew he should look away. that this moment was sacred, strictly for the two of you. but he’d never seen gojo like this before — completely vulnerable, completely himself in the confines of your embrace.

here he wasn’t the strongest, the richest, the one-man clan, the one whose mere existence shifted the balance of the world. here, he wasn't satoru gojo, he wasn't gojo-sensei, he was just 'toru.

© Y2KUROMI 2024. please do not plagiarise, repost, or translate any of my works on here or any other websites.

[maeby-cursed]

KISS ME, TRY TO FIX IT…

𓂃 COULD YOU JUST TRY TO LISTEN ?

a/n: starting a new series of songfics ! this one is very obviously inspired by sad, beautiful, tragic, so you can see where this might be going. enjoy the results of my brainrot ♡ (also, i’ve never written for gojo before, please have mercy)

✧ synopsis: you’ve been waiting for satoru gojo for ten years, but there’s no trace of the man you fell in love with when you were sixteen years old. it’s time to let go, but he might not want to.

✧ pairings: satoru gojo x fem!reader

✧ wc: 2k

✧ rating: angst. so much of it, angst to drown in. might get suggestive at some points.

✧ cw: mentions of drinking, of the great jjk tragedy of 2006 and its aftermath, implied cheating, gojo may be ooc, toxic relationship ??

An ice-cold wind blows through the window as you wait.

It’s not even December yet but it’s already snowing.

Soft snowflakes the size of stars, far away in their firmament, enter your living room. When they land on the sofa, they dissolve, leaving in their wake thousands of specks of water that look disturbingly like tears.

It doesn't matter. You don't think he's going to notice anyway.

It's been ten long years of waiting. Ten long years of fighting, of fixing what's broken and denying that it's ever been broken.

It's over. Let winter freeze everything in its path.

When Satoru walks in through the door, you hesitate for a moment. A moment of madness when you see his hair, as white as the snowfall that has invaded your home. Just a moment when you see him in his burgundy turtleneck sweater, his tight-fitting coat. One single moment when you recognize the cold in his pink cheeks.

But it's all over when you meet his crystalline eyes. The fault is theirs.

"Is the window broken again?" he asks, dropping his keys on the entryway’s table.

The window has been broken since September.

You nod and he grunts, running a hand over his face.

"I'll call someone tomorrow, although you could have said something," he says. This is your fault. Of course.

You keep your eyes fixed on the snow. From the living room you can see the sidewalk across the street, covered in a blanket of white that sparkles under the street lamps. It's so painfully beautiful it makes you nostalgic.

You and Satoru moved into this house three years ago, when he got his teaching position, and you can't quite get over the fact that it's time to say goodbye.

You've spent three years of solstices here. You've seen the sidewalks covered with dead leaves, with thousands of little flowers that broke the pavement in their wake. But it’s never snowed. 

It’s not fair, not one bit.

Satoru says no more. He goes to your room and undresses; he replaces his street clothes with a black outfit that seems very appropriate for the occasion. Since you’ve known him, he always takes off his glasses when he crosses the hall of your building, but for once, you wish he'd put them back on. 

When he returns, his hair is dripping over his forehead. You hadn't even noticed that he was taking a shower. 

But he hasn't noticed that your bedside table is empty, either; that your slippers are missing, that there's a seeping coldness in the hearth of your house, and it's not coming from the window.

"What's for dinner?" he asks, plopping down on the couch with his cell phone in his hand.

You get up.

9:26 p.m., November 8. This is where it ends.

"I don't know. I'm going out to dinner," you say.

He doesn’t even bother to look up.

"Hmm, where are you going? Are you bringing something back or should I order myself a pizza?"

It's painful to watch as nothing seems to touch him. He’s infinite — always infinite.

"I'm going to a work friend's house."

"The one with the lovely curly hair and those pretty hazel eyes?"

Christ.

"No. I'm moving in with Rhea. Dark-eyed, blonde, leggy."

"Hmm, how nice."

A moment passes where he just keeps staring at the screen, and you despair.

"Satoru."

"What's up, baby?"

"I'm moving."

At last – at last – he looks up. In his eyes you see nothing; two blue marbles that have sworn you two to an unjust fate.

"You're moving out? Why?"

Where to begin? Because you have been loving a man destined to save everything and everyone for a decade, because you have been trying to fill a void that is not your size for eight years, because the windows are broken and the bed is cold and Satoru arrives several nights smelling of anisette and the perfume of another, because you don't want to live looking at the Strongest, the possessor of the Six Eyes. Because you thought that in some hidden corner Satoru Gojo was still there, and he isn’t.

"Because it's killing me to live like this.” You settle for that as your explanation and try to keep your stare unwavering.

"Like this how?" he questions, suddenly irritated. "In a luxurious house?" He gestures around him with the cell phone in his hand. "Comfortably, with your dream job? Knowing you'll never have to worry about money?"

"No, Satoru. Like this, without you loving me."

That chills him to the bone.

"Of course I love you."

"Do you? Do you want me for anything other than to warm your bed and your cock? Do you want me here, as your partner? Do you need me for anything at all?"

You don’t gesticulate, you barely move from your spot in the middle of the room. Everything in this fucking place is white and uncannily clean; the sofas, the coffee table, the walls, even the snow; but you and Satoru. He’s in all black, you’re in all red. It’s almost dreamlike, and you struggle to stay grounded. 

The only thing you could remove from this house that would grab his attention would be you.

"Yesterday you weren't complaining about any of this, what the fuck is the matter with you today?"

And you can't stand it anymore. The winter current lifts your hair, soaks the back of your neck and disguises your tears.

"THE MATTER IS THAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR TEN YEARS. WAITING FOR YOU. WAITING FOR THE MAN I MET AT SIXTEEN TO COME BACK, SLEEPING WITH A MAN OF ABSENT GAZE WHO STAGGERS INTO MY BED WHEN HE'S TIRED OF BEING IN EVERYONE ELSE'S. I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR DOG, SATORU. I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME HOME AND FEEL OBLIGATED TO GIVE ME A WALK, A PETTING."

The words come spilling out of you without remedy, every wound bursting open through the stitches. He just looks at you.

"You think I don't love you?"

It hurts to hear him say it, it fucking hurts. You were prepared for the yelling and the coldness, even for a quick vulnerable stare. But never for his trembling voice and soft frown.

You inhale deeply.

"I don't think your love is of any use to me any longer."

Satoru stands up at that.

He's tall, tall and beautiful like Michelangelo's David. All your life, you've been feeling like you had no right to touch him. His infinity assured you that was the case. 

He takes a step in your direction and whispers:

"Then what should I do now?"

Your eyes, fixed on the ground, rise to meet his. There's something in the void and you're not sure if it's just your reflection.

"What?" you mutter. 

"How do I fix it? What do you need that I can't give you? Do you want me to quit work, for us to leave, for me to come home and kiss your temple, to cook for you, to listen to you, to cherish you in bed?” A heartbeat. “I will."

There’s something about the desperation in his tone, you aren’t sure of what to say next.

Satoru knows how to lie, but you don't know how to tell the difference.

"I don't want anything, Satoru. I'm tired," you whisper back, eyes full of water. "I want it to end. I want you to let it end."

He shakes his head, frowning, and through the mist of your tears you recognize that he is crying too.

"There has to be something. Anything. Something I can do, I can do it all."

It's partly true. He's Satoru Gojo; all-powerful, all-knowing. Eternal and young and beautiful and tragic as a poem.

You are just another person. You cried when Suguru left, when Haibara died, when Kento gave up the Jujutsu world and when Ieri locked herself in her office. You clung to Satoru, who resembled an empty seashell more than a person. 

You remember those nights back in 2007. You remember blindfolding him so he wouldn't activate infinity by accident, by reflex, out of overstimulation. You remember cutting his hair when he couldn’t and looking for him in his old antics. You remember taking care of Megumi – always reluctant – and Tsumiki – who you felt was too mature for her age. You remember the burden of being eighteen and having lost a world.

And, above all else, you remember Satoru under the rain. Under the pressure of the world you had lost, the one that he was trying to put back together. There was a month where he seemed catatonic; no smiles, drinking anisette as if it were his one source of life. A thirty-day period followed by the rebirth of a person who looked like the one that stood before, but who seemed cold and alien to you.

"Don't you love me, my darling?" he seeks for you, reaching out a hand to brush against your cheek.

Of course you love him. You love him even like this, like you have loved each and every one of his versions.

"I adore you, Satoru. But I can't stay; you can't fix it."

"Of course I can," he reaches out to you, holding your face between his fingers, "Of course I can."

His lips connect with yours — one last attempt, you don't know by whom.

Snow fills the room and it's cold, but you drink from his mouth, from his everlasting warmth; everything in him lasts forever.

Between kisses, you show him everything you have been for years. Ten years of kisses, of hands looking for hands and flesh searching for flesh.

He moves backwards, keeping you between his hands and guiding you towards the hallway and from the hallway to your shared bed.

This is where it ends.

"Satoru..." you whisper.

"I'm here. I'm here, beautiful, my favorite girl. Talk to me."

A sob escapes you as he utters those words. My favorite girl. That’s what he used to call you. Talk to me, he used to plead, that year at sixteen, when everything was about to start.

Isn't it beautiful that it ends the exact same way?

"Satoru, I'm leaving," you press a farewell kiss to his jaw.

"No, you're not leaving," he murmurs, smiling against your mouth, searching for your lips.

You back away and look at him one more time. And you smile, because there's nothing left.

"I'm already gone. Just let go of me, please."

"But..." he starts, his smile hesitant, "But I'm going to fix it."

You take one of his hands between yours and kiss it as it presses against your cheek, before lowering it to your lap.

"Satoru..." You pronounce each syllable of his name carefully and he stifles a cry. "I'm not going to go any further. I've already made the move and Rhea's expecting me at her house in an hour. I love you, I’ll love you until I run out of kisses, but it does me no good to love you. It is of no use to me, this love. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you one last time. Wasn’t it my turn to be the selfish one for once?"

He watches you, and his mouth shuts close. You've never seen Satoru lose. 

No, that's not true. There was a time, one time, where you saw him lose everything.

His eyes fill up with you one second and empty the next.

This is his second time.

He lifts his chin with an arrogance that no longer means anything and lets go of your hands.

"Go then, if you want. I'm not going to do anything to stop you,” he drags the words with feign disinterest. “I can't do anything."

That's the last gift he can give you. An honesty unbecoming of him, a truth that will never belong to Satoru Gojo ever again. 

From god to human in three kisses and a goodbye.

"Thank you," you say to him. Then you get up, heading for the living room, where your coat and your escape door await you.

He stays in the bedroom – with himself as he always is – after you leave. 

And he hides you where he always hides the things he breaks, in the back of his eyes, where no one can reach to see anything.

© 2023, MAEBY-CURSED — do not copy/repost/edit.

(reblogs are appreciated !!)

[thexianzhoujade]

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HER | genshin impact fanfiction. zhongli x gn!reader — angst, hurt/no comfort, hanahaki disease, mentions of blood, gagging, death, decomposition, dealing with grief and guilt. not proofread or edited.

idle chatter. this is also a reupload from my old blog... i'm such a thief gasp <3 library waiting list. @lovingluxury @dumbificat @starryshinyskies @ryuryuryuyurboat @ainescribe @bfjax @soleillunne @sangoqueenkoko

aventurine's addition. "alexi will forget if i don't remind her - here is the link to 'you're not her,' the first part of this angst."

the scene haunts him vividly. it creeps into every crevice of his mind, every nerve that has harboured all the knowledge he could ever acquire over these past centuries; it affects his psyche. in the darkness behind his eyelids - should he be brave enough to dare let his eyelashes sink shut - he sees every detail left of his beloved - you.

the guilt eats at him, nagging at his bones and tearing at his flesh, leaving only remnants of searing pains when he can't help but blame himself that he let it get this far - that he even let it happen. it was something so simple that he could avoided, at least that's what he tells himself. zhongli isn't stupid, not when he's walked teyvat this long and seeked enough knowledge for his own curiosity - albeit never comparable to that of the dendro archon. he knows it couldn't have been avoided, for that is why the guilt rips him apart so brutally.

but yet there is one simple way it could have been avoided. he should have never fell in love with you. the thought aches his heart and he finds his grip tightening around the tea cup in his hands, paled knuckles concealed by his oh-so-familiar gloves. amber eyes resembling the cor lapis native to his own country close shut and the horrific scenes creep back in.

the man admits to oversleeping that morning, the comfort of familiar bedsheets drowning him in a warmth incomparable to anything else. his routine with you was a simple one; he was always the last to bed but always the first to rise. zhongli used it as an excuse for you to never see his bare skin, the dark tones that cover his large hands and fade up his arms, decorated in veins of golds and oranges. he would get up and dressed, pulling black gloves over his hands before your eyelashes could even flutter open.

that was the way your relationship had ticked for the months it had been ongoing. that was the way zhongli kept his deepest secrets locked away, thinking it was for the best; it wouldn't cause problems if you knew, you was a mortal. zhongli knew he was facing the sandglass of time when it came to your life in the first place. is that what shattered the sandglass so soon? ending your life with a severed tie that happened too early, taking you from him when he was least prepared?

the bed was empty by the time zhongli awoke. the first fleeting thought that crossed the geo archon's mind was his secrets, his hidden gems - had you seen it all? had you left him? the second thought to cross his mind was in regards to your safety. he was certainly no fool, he knew he had enemies even with the lack of people who knew his true identity. you never rose before him and at least he would have expected you to wake him.

zhongli has traced the corridors and winding paths of your shared house many times. he's taken the stairs so much they're worn from the use of you both - and your guests, when the likes of xiao, hu tao or your friends come to visit. in every footstep, the man has memorised every inch of the house; every painting, every vase, every floorboard and in these steps he takes routinely, he knows the house is never this silent however there's no proof of a break-in. there's no distress, no signs of damage or disruption.

the earth has taken your body for its own in the span of a few hours, vines creeping across your body as if to tie you to the ground. celestia forbid someone tried to give you a proper burial, your clothes and skin stained in a dark red as the blood that flooded out of your mouth hours ago begins to oxidise. it paints the grass surrounding you and in the summer heat of the liyue sun, it creates a foul stench that suffocates the garden you'd spent so much of your time in.

there are flowers beginning to bloom on the vines tethering you to the earth, in shades of white so pure, it pales in comparison to the glaze lilies that had damaged your internal organs so ferociously. the sweet floral scents create a bitter tang in the air mixed with the metallic waft of blood and the unforgettable smell of the unavoidable rot your body was going through in the heat. this is what undeniably lead him to find you.

it makes him gag, turning his head away the second he steps outside into what is usually the clean air of liyue's countryside. his eyes fall to the pile of wilted glaze lilies you'd compiled in the far corner, hidden behind an apple tree you'd been growing. it's beginning to finally bear its fruits. zhongli notes that you will never see your apple tree's first harvest.

it feels as if he's stabbed in the chest when he finally musters the courage to look at you - or rather, what he thinks is you. your cheeks are sunken and your skin is beginning to tighten against muscles and bone, this isn't the you he remembers kissing goodnight last night. this isn't the you that would pepper kisses on his face when he expresses how tired he is after his shifts at the wangsheng funeral parlour.

this isn't who he fell in love with. this wasn't the human he should have never fell in love with because by gods, if there was anyone zhongli should have known to trust the least, it should have been celestia. he was a fool for thinking he could ever get away with loving a mortal, even after faking his death and attempting to step away from the title of the geo archon. he was still immortal up until his eventual erosion. he had still seen centuries past and people die around him.

was this celestia's curse upon you for his own regretful actions? the things he shouldn't have done and most certainly shouldn't have said? the sultry whispers and lingering touches that he knew was wrong from the start? but he loved you. he knew he loved you.

the scene of sharp branches coated in blood twisting and turning out of your mouth is unpleasant and the grass surrounding you is a distasteful red as he falls limp to his knees beside your growth - your corpse. his hands, free from their gloves, fumble with leaves and vines, attempting to pull them clear from your face in his shaking grasp as his thumbs gently wipe under your closed eyes, caked with dry blood.

your name falls from his parted lips when bitter tears sting his eyes for the first time in centuries. there's a raw emotion ripping him to the shreds and that was long buried in the depths of his very being - grief. it swallows him, forcing a choked sob from him as he hunches over what was his lover. he closes his eyes, holding his breath to keep from breathing in that sickening, overwhelming stench as he tries to remember your face from last night.

those distinct features he'd fell in love with, the glitter of your eyes and that smile he loved oh so much - he recalls the times hu tao managed to draw that smile onto your face with her mere presence. zhongli gags at the thought of having to tell her and the others about your death. does he lie again? you passed away in your sleep - but where has lying got him in the past? here.

why hadn't you told him? had baizhu been behind this too? after all this time he assumed the doctor could be classed as a loyal friend, zhongli realises that he was wrong. if he hadn't of kept it a secret, could zhongli have saved your life? the archon grimaces. this is not the time to be doubting the security of the relationships he has with the people around him. even as he contemplates the reasons you kept your disease secret from him, he runs over every thought of loving you.

to him, he would never love anyone or anything as much as he loved you. nothing could ever be comparable to his love for you; not even after all these centuries of aimlessly wandering teyvat and not even for all the future centuries that he would continue to walk, heartbroken and grief-stricken without you by his side for even a few more years.

you should have been her.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

© thexianzhoujade 2024. | reblogs appreciated | do not re-upload, copy, translate, etc. my works on any form of media.

[arafilez]

☆ ⼂ PUNCH THE WALL ﹗

ꔫㅤㅤ ❜ [ skz ot8 x any reader ] ㅤ⋆ ㅤangst, estb. relationship ㅤ warnings arguing, moderate cursing, and anxiety attack ㅤ﹢ㅤ0.2k per member wc ㅤㅤ pt 2 here ꔫㅤㅤ ❜ [ og request ] ㅤ⋆ ㅤOMG YOU TAKE REQUESTS YESSS OKAY how about skz reaction to their s/o punching the wall (and immediately regret it)in the heat of an argument - anon

◗ ៹ BANG CHAN ›

“Let’s sit down, and talk this out properly,” Chan says getting tired of the argument with each passing second. It is tiring how you are bringing up every small topic just for the sake of arguing.

His eyes widen the moment your fist lands on the wall and cringes at how you instantly wince from the pain. He remains still, watching your breath become more even.

You stare at your palm in shock not realising why you did it anyway. You are not that type of person at all.

“There are better ways of subsiding your anger,” Chan speaks up, slowly taking your hands in his and inspecting your knuckles. “Let’s get you a painkiller,” he whispers, kissing your cheek and you nod looking down.

“I don’t know why I did that,” you stutter out barely and he smiles handing you the tablet and shrugs saying, “Anger is a strong and restless emotion, it is important to learn how to control it. For example, you can tear up some paper into small pieces and make sure all pieces are small.”

“I will work on it,” you smile lightly and he nods encouragingly, “I know you will, darling.”

◗ ៹ LEE KNOW ›

You can’t do this anymore, if he retaliates one more time you might just punch the wall. Minho’s words pass by your ear and you feel a quick blood rush and punch the wall behind you.

The pain takes over immediately as you press your hands to your mouth as a whimper passes out of your throat. You can’t believe you just punched a wall. You never do that.

You hear Minho’s footstep coming towards you and he holds your hand inspecting your knuckles quietly. You keep your head down, ashamed, knowing you have crossed a line while he makes you sit on the couch. Taking out the first aid kit, he slowly dabs an ointment around your bruised knuckles. You watch him carefully and let out a quiet sigh before looking up at him.

“Don’t apologise, you gave yourself enough punishment,” he chuckles and continues, “Things like these happen. Doesn’t mean you are a toxic partner.”

“Thank you,” you reply, a sob choking your throat, “for everything.” You let out a weak smile and he smiles back lightly pecking your lips to cheer you up.

◗ ៹ SEO CHANGBIN ›

The picture frames rattle loudly as your fist lands on the wall and suddenly the room becomes quiet. The tension is thick as you open your fist and your hand rests where you have just punched while Changbin stands in a distance.

You are not this kind of a partner, you never are. Then why did you do that?

“You will beat me in punches in a gym,” Changbin’s voice enters your ear and you look at him mouthing, “Sorry.” He walks towards you and slowly takes your fists in his hand and continues, “Come on that one was funny.”

“Changbin I am so sorry,” you start crying, over sensitive from all your emotions and frustrations and the way you just expressed it. He holds you close and then hugs you till your sobs subside and turn into small whimpers against his neck.

“We all have bad days,” he whispers and continues, “But next time talk to me, don’t keep it to yourself.” You nod rapidly hugging him tighter, the regret now slowly being pushed to the back of your mind at his comfort.

◗ ៹ HWANG HYUNJIN ›

You give one last look to Hyunjin before your fist hits the wall in anger and you pant in rage. Regret takes over your feature almost immediately and you turn around to look Hyunjin frozen in his place and his eyes widening in shock and fear. Your resolve falters in a fraction of a second and you take a step towards Hyunjin.

“Hyun I swear-“ you start only for him to harshly cut you off, “Save it.” You slap your hand over your mouth to stop a sob escaping your mouth. You can’t believe what you did, this is not you.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Hyunjin exclaims and you open your mouth trying to explain yourself but he stops you telling, “Apply some meds and we will talk when you are calmer.” Saying that he leaves the room, making you rethink your decisions again and again.

◗ ៹ HAN JISUNG ›

Jisung’s breath fell short and the room felt like spinning as soon as he sees you punch the wall. He gasps loudly, holding the table near him and his vision starts to blur. He can feel the anxiety attack coming and he can do nothing about it.

You regret as soon as you did it but looking at Jisung the feeling worsens and you run to him. You hold him in your arms and whisper out, “I am so sorry baby.” You walk him slowly to the couch and he slumps down, gripping the couch handle rather strongly and you wince. Slowly unwrapping his fingers you hold them and look him in the eye.

“It’s me and I am sorry,” you whisper and hand him the water bottle as he shakily takes a sip from it. Panting slowly his vision clears and he finally sees your tear-stricken eyes and hugs you as you repeatedly say ‘sorry’ over and over again.

You love him so much, hand you wish he can forgive you which unknowingly maybe he did.

◗ ៹ LEE FELIX ›

Imagine you are minho 😭

“Oh shit,” you curse loudly at the wincing pain in your knuckles as you punch the wall and Felix’s eyes widen but he doesn’t move from his place. You hold your fist and press your lips together but the whimper doesn’t go unnoticed by Felix who grabs a painkiller and a bottle of water.

“I didn’t mean to-“ you start but your boyfriend cuts you off saying, “Sit down.”

“Okay,” you oblige and he hands you the water bottle which you gladly take sipping on it lightly. His eyes scan your feature full of remorse and he rubs his hands over your knees whispering, “Relax, it’s alright.”

“It’s not and you know it,” you choke out and look away unable to look at his kind eyes. “Let’s talk about it, yeah?” he proposes and you nod smiling lightly and his eyes light up at your acceptance.

◗ ៹ KIM SEUNGMIN ›

“Kim Seungmin,” you snarl at him, “I am warning you.” Seungmin’s indifferent sigh angers you to your last extent and you look at him straight in the eyes and punch the wall beside you. You quickly retreat your hands as soon as you do it, shock and remorse washing over your features.

You look at him and see him stare back at you, mouth parted and eyes holding annoyance as he speaks, “So you talk with your hands now.” You shake your head lightly looking away, ashamed of yourself. A scoff of disbelief leaves his mouth and Seungmin pokes the inside of his cheeks eyeing your figure.

“I am sorry,” a sob escapes your throat as you say it out loud and Seungmin’s features soften for a millisecond before he exhales and says, “We will talk when you are ready.” And not punching walls, he thinks but refrains from saying it out loud and leaves the room while you sit on the floor and a stray tear escapes your eye.

What have you done?

◗ ៹ YANG JEONGIN ›

The pent up frustration about everything in life and Jeongin’s childishness gets the best of you and you punch the wall behind you. Your knuckles make a cracking sound at the force. You immediately get back from your trance and stare at Jeongin who is rooted at his place.

“Jeongin I-“ you try, but your voice falters when you see him take a step back, his hands folded against his body protectively. Hurt crosses over your features and you open your mouth to speak and make him comfortable.

“Just fucking listen-“

“No”

“Innie-“

“I said no,” Jeongin yells at you and a pin drop silence falls around the room.

“Don’t come near me, we will talk later,” Jeongin’s voice held remorse and fear and you exhale slowly nodding at him. You watch him leave and regret takes over your features.

ꔫㅤㅤ ❜ [ ara's notes ] ㅤ⋆ ㅤtysm anon for requesting this, i hope you like it, some of them have open endings and unsolved arguments 'cause i suddenly love writing that lmao. tysm for the people who are reading and the blr notes. ꔫㅤㅤ ❜ [ taglist ] ㅤ⋆ ㅤ@haneagerr @jeonghanfr ㅤmain mlistㅤ skz listㅤ navi ㅤ add to taglist

© arafilez on tumblr. please do not copy and repost my work as your own.

[sieuneo]

TAKE ME WHERE YOUR HEART IS ¿? a y.jw smau

[ description ]  く at decelis academy of the arts, a band called enha has risen to stardom. everyone knows that it's impossible to get on their level of popularity, except for you. on a dare, you and your friends started a band called secret kiss. when enha finds out, they're pissed. they know that their spotlight will be stolen as soon as a new group comes around so they try their best to sabotage you, which elicits an extremely long prank war.  ₊☆

[ genre ]  く high school!au, band!au, sm!au, fluff, comedy (i hope!), romance durrr, band rivalry, rivals/enemies to lovers, prank war :P   ₊☆

[ warnings ] く cussing. some cruel pranks. kind of bullying but it’s very mild. some inappropriate jokes. lowercase is very much intended. everything is in dark mode. ₊☆

[ extras ] く kang haerin (nwjns) as y/n, yujin (ive), hanni (new jeans), jiwoo + chanelle (r u next), taesan (bnd), all of enhypen, mentions of txt and ive. ₊☆

[ author’s note ] く enjoy my attempt at music terminology😭 i got this idea at like midnight and i started making the profiles b4 i even made the description :P ₊☆

[ taglist ] く @loviiday @luvistqrzzz @j1nniee @pagesofmiracles @kjrcrz @mangowonyo @equalheart @yjwfav @onlyjw | open. (send an ask or reply to this post to be added!) ₊☆

[ status ] く coming soon! ₊☆

[ started ] く july 15th, 2023. ₊☆

PROFiLES ¿? secret kiss 🎸 : enha 🐐

CHAPTERS ¿? 001 : i triple dog dare you. 002 : wdym “new band”??? 003 : oh, it’s on. 004 : yang jungwon and his little (very tall) minions. 005 : are you breathing okay? 006 : you will never be enha. 007 : are we fraternizing with the enemies??? 008 : coming soon

© 2023 SIEUNEO. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or steal anything I post!

[mangekyuou]

May I request separately for luffy and/or shanks where they are fighting strong opponent with a teleportation ability and when they were about to land the final hit they teleport the reader(female) and take the full hit whether they survive or not ill leave it to you.Feel free to ignore this and love your writing ❤❤

✸  headcanons  %  when they accidentally hurt you.

✸    characters! . . .  luffy & shanks.

✸    cw(s)! . . .  mentions of violence, blood, wounds, death(?). no pronouns used. not proofread.

✸    notes! . . .  i wanted to try to keep the endings ambiguous...don’t think i did a good job on that though. i don’t write angst that much anymore, so this itched a spot in my brain, thank you for that <3333 thank you so much for requesting !!

the fight was finally drawing to its close. his opponent was out of breath, stumbling back and forth, struggling to stay on their feet. luffy cocked his fist back, coating it with haki

this was the final hit, he was going to give it his all. he charged, but he failed to see the devilish grin written on his opponent’s features

as he threw the punch, a brief flash of colors appeared before him. emerging from the colors was you

he’d never ever forget that look of horror on your face, as the both of you realized what was happening

he couldn’t stop himself. his fist just barely collided with your abdomen, sending you meters away, hitting the hard ground with a loud thud

guilt immediately consumes him

he’s shaking, unable to even move from the spot he was in. the world around him goes silent. he only sees you on the ground on your side, not moving

he fears the worst. he didn’t...he couldn’t have...could he?

after what feels like forever, he takes one step...then another...then another. his vision blurring with tears

he had dropped to his knees, flipping you on your back when he finally sees the blood trickling from the corner of your mouth

he presses his ear against your chest, looking for the sound of your beating heart. it was fleeting 

if he wasn’t panicked already, he was genuinely panicked now. he picks you up and shakes you, screaming your name

you have to get up. you NEED to get up

he can’t lose you too. he’s screaming to chopper. he HAS to save you. you can’t die on him, not like this

through his tears he’s reminding you of the promises that you made to him

most importantly, the assurance that you would be by his side until the very end

your eyes flutter open. the first thing you see is him over you, tears flooding his cheeks, he is absolutely devastated

through your pain you try to give him a small smile. if this was truly the end, there was something you wanted him to know. but it was so painful to speak 

“i...love...” you could only mutter the two words, using the last bit of your strength to pick up your shaky hand, pressing the tip of your pointer finger to his chest, where his heart rested

“i love you too” he whispered holding onto your hand, closing his eyes tightly

shanks is a dangerous man whose full potential is still unknown to most people. including his current opponent, he had just had enough of

it wasn’t often shanks had gotten so mad to the point of starting a fight. but they had involved you. he didn’t care if they bothered him, but you were another story

and they were definitely learning this from the beatdown they were receiving from him

“shanks, that’s enough. i’m fine” you grabbed his arm, trying to stop him. this was going way further than you wanted it to. you didn’t wish for shanks to get himself into any more trouble behind you

but he wasn’t hearing any of it. he wasn’t finished, shrugging you off and looking back to his opponent, who had finally climbed to their feet. something about the sly grin on their face alarmed shanks

they had something up their sleeve, but he wasn’t sure what it was. that is what worried him

he couldn’t allow whatever it was they had planned to happen. he was going to end this now. with his sword, he charged. but they had not moved, instead welcoming his attack

as the sharp tip of the sword had nearly touched them, a sudden flash of colors passed him by. now in front of him was you, pierced by his sword

shock overtook you, looking down at your abdomen and seeing your lover’s sword through you, all the way through your back

the rest of the red hair pirates screams of your name had not reached your ears. you could not hear them, focused on the blade that you were sure had punctured something on the inside

you don’t know what happened. shanks didn’t know what happened

he was trying his best not to panic on the outside, knowing everyone is awaiting his orders. on the inside, he’s terrified, he’s blaming himself

he wished he had listened to you. then this would have never happened

you weren’t thinking rationally, it was hard to after being stabbed. you had pulled yourself off of the blade, holding the open wound still in shock

shanks had dropped his sword, allowing you to fall into his embrace. he finally finds the voice to bark out orders, telling the others to grab the teleporting bastard and yelling for hongo to go grab his equipment to help you

he slowly settles on the ground with you. he fumbles around, trying to apply pressure to the wound to try to stop the bleeding. the blood that is seeping through your shirt is becoming harder and harder to ignore

you had begun to take long blinks

“hey, stay with me, okay? keep your eyes open...please. you’re going to be okay” though his words were for you, they were also for him. 

he needed to give himself hope, to convince himself that everything was going to be okay, that you would be okay. even if he could feel you fading away underneath him

© MANGEKYUOU.

[noxxchive]

✦ Dazai and Chuuya childhood headcanons (2/2) ✦

part 1

!!! THIS POST CONTAINS STORMBRINGER SPOILERS !!!

♫ Orchard - OMORI

✧ warnings : STORMBRINGER SPOILERS・mentions of s*icide, death, hospitalization, alcoholism, etc.・angst・pure angst…・ooc (???)

✧ a/n : got way too long im sorr… but I love chuuya so much and all these headcanons have been eating dust in the back of my head and im so happy (lie) to finally post them

w/c : 950

!!! these are just personal headcanons and are not accurate to the canon story !!!

✦ Chuuya :

Chuuya’s parents weren’t blessed with a child even after years of marriage…

…So when he was born, they were so happy that they celebrated 3 days and nights (like the real Chuuya Nakahara !!)

Such a sweet boy… very polite and a tiny bit shy

He actually had an amazing bond with both his parents

And they loved him a lot, too!

How mini Chuuya would help his mom around the house, how he would randomly tell her that he loves her :,^)

Chuuya was probably interested in his father’s work (military doctor, like the real Chuuya’s father!!)

AUGHH he would peek at his dad working with those big blue curious eyes

Also, unlike Dazai, I headcanon that Chuuya has siblings!

2 little sisters!!

When his first little sister was born, he was probably around 3 or 4

Was quick to grow attached to his sister

And when his second sister came around, he was around 7

Was very overprotective of his sisters, and had a big soft spot for them

Would piggyback carry their younger sister every morning to school while holding his other sisters hand

Brilliant kid

Adored by absolutely everyone and everything

Chuuya and the family dinners with the rest of the Nakahara family SIGHHH

His mom always worried about him not eating enough (even though he did.)

His dad developed this hobby and habit of checking Chuuya and his sisters’ heights and mark them on the wall

Chuuya wasn’t the happiest when he figured that his younger sister was nearly the same height as him…

And regarding Stormbringer and how he was put in a lab…

Ohhh how his mom was losing her mind over Chuuya’s father allowing such a thing

His family kind of… grew distant and fell apart from then on

Constant arguing between his parents while he was in the lab… how his sister would cover their younger sister’s ears each time they’d argue

She’d ask where Chuuya had gone every now and then, but it was like a forbidden topic in the house

His mom would either tear up or just lash out on his sister

And his dad would yell and cuss her out, saying things like “Goddammit stop asking stupid questions! He’s fine for god’s sake!!! Be patient and he’ll be back sooner than you think!!!”

Chuuya’s dad wasn’t very happy with the decision he made either

Regretting it like crazy and losing sleep, losing focus…

And once the news broke that their one and only son was dead (aka his clone… fuck stormbringer bro…)

His family was worse than ever before.

Chuuya’s dad cried… a lot. Fell into being an alcoholic for a long time

His sisters? Despite their young age and how they couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea of death…

They were devastated. Completely had their hearts and souls shattered

But his mom… she was the worst out of them all

It broke her so much that she couldn’t even cry over her son’s death

She was left in a daze, unaware of her surroundings and just… in her own world

Though, once it registered in her mind? How she would scream and cry at odd hours of the night, begging for Chuuya…

She would push away anyone who would try to comfort her, hit them and curse them out, only wanting Chuuya

Even though Chuuya’s ‘death’ had sunk in and she understood it, she’d scream at everyone to get away from her and that ‘only Chuuya can come close to her’

S*icide attempts became a regular thing

…the amount of times Chuuya’s dad was called during work hours and just rushed home to stop his wife from taking her life…

His sister lost sleep and stopped being the top student at school because of how difficult everything had become

Their younger sister was a bit better, considering she was small

But it still hurt, she’d call Chuuya out of habit, just to remember that he was never gonna answer her calling out to him

His mom’s situation got so bad that she was hospitalized for years

And even now that the entire Nakahara family has accepted Chuuya’s ‘death’

His mom hasn’t. She’s doing a lot better than before getting hospitalized but…

She always seems to be spaced out. She doesn’t smile or laugh, and even when she does… it seems forced and it’s only for a brief moment

His mom doesn’t talk much, not to anyone

She often spends her time talking to framed pictures of Chuuya. She still cries every now and then, but tries to hide it…

And honestly? I think that Chuuya has considered going back to his family

He’s coincidentally seen his sisters and made sure they got home safely from school/work while watching from afar… then return to his own work

It scares him to go back, not only because of him putting their lives on the line for being a mafia executive

But also because he’s supposed to be ‘dead’. That’s what his family believed and has learned to live with…

So if he were to show up at his childhood home, he’d make them confused

And he can’t even imagine how they would react if he were to go back

So Chuuya just watches over them from a distance…

But maybe, just maybe one day he’ll gather up the courage and listen to the voice in his head telling him to go back

That day won’t be anytime soon, not now. He can’t go back until he’s sure the time is right for him to do so.

Until then, Chuuya just prays that they’ll stay safe and alive…

That’s when he can return to his family, his home…

[ellabsies]

christmas with abby

a/n: cain here! a short lil oneshot for our girl made by yours truly <3 bro i was supposed to post this yesterday but i got high and sleepy. late but enjoy! v short and sweet. blurb?

contains: fluff. slight angst. implied smut. no outbreak.

you surprised abby first thing in the morning with hot chocolate instead of her usual dark roasted coffee. she took a sip and looked at you with a raised eyebrow, “what’s this?” she asked.

“hot chocolate. i even included whip cream and marshmallows with it. you looked at her with a smile.

“thanks? you know i prefer coffee, though.”

“it’s christmas, abs.”

“yes - they make christmassy flavors, right?”

“well… i didn’t get any! drink your hot chocolate…” you frowned at her. abby shrugged and blew on her cup before taking a sip.

“sorry, baby. i don’t mean to be ungrateful. i appreciate everything you do for me.” she pats the space beside her so you could sit.

you nod. you knew christmas wasn’t everything to her. if you’re honest, you stopped having good christmases yourself years ago. this was only the second christmas you got to spend with her so far. last year she refused to celebrate and you couldn’t do anything but accept it. this year you managed to convince her, wanting to prove to her that christmas would be better with just the two of you. even if you guys didn’t go all out.

“next year, i’ll definitely get some christmas and winter themed creamers, okay? i promise.”

abby hummed, taking another sip of her hot cocoa. “you don’t have to prove anything to me.”

you did, though. you wanted to prove to her that the holidays weren’t so bad as long as you had someone to spend them with. you two had each other now so you wanted to prove her wrong.

“oh! i forgot. i’ll be back.” you jumped up from beside her and headed off into the room you shared with her. you came back a few moments later with something held behind your back.

“what’s that?” abby asked.

“close your eyes.” you said. abby rolled them before doing so. you put her gift in her lap, telling her she could open them once again. abby complied and held the object in her hands.

a stocking. with her name on it. filled with various treats and such.

abby’s face quickly reverted to confusion, to shock, to pure happiness. she held the object between her fingers and admired the neatness of her name sprawled across it.

“look inside. i promise it’s worth it.”

abby looked at you with wide eyes sparkled with kid-like joy. she dug inside and pulled out all the contents.

various amounts of candy and other christmas related snacks. hygiene products. a giftcard to her favorite gamestore. $50 in cash. and best of all, a mini collection of rare coins.

abby gushed at the last one. she held the box frame within her hands, shaking it to hear it jingle. she smiled at you and pulled you down for a kiss.

“thank you. thank you so much.”

“anything for you. i told you christmas wasn’t so bad. maybe next year we can go all out?”

abby didn’t have an actual gift to give you, but she did take you to see the christmas lights downtown when it got dark. she also made love to you later that night by the fireplace.

[porcalinecunt]

𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄.

→ you were never ment to be a good husband, and neither was he. so what now? simple. when the spouses aren’t home, someone else is.

🎧 𝐒𝐀𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐗 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

♟️𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 / 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓

𝐜𝐰 — infidelity. trans!reader. pussy slapping. degredation. some spanking. edging (?). rough sex. creampie. no aftercare. mean dom! sae. sex addiction (?).

a/n » i told yall i was cooking up smth ;) anyways, life sucks sm ass rn but sae brainrot + a need for angst got me making this. this might end up as a mini series but i’m not 100% sure yet. i’ll see how well it does on here and on ao3 (pls support my works there too 🤍) otherwise, enjoy the fic!

Cold. That’s the only thing you could feel besides your numbing fingers and goosebumps rising on your limbs. The house could get so cold during the wintertime, then again, it’s much warmer than when Rin was home.

Rin Itoshi, the man many would kill to have a chance with, who was your beloved husband. Together for half a decade now, marrying while still being quite young. To many, it was a dream come true and you cannot blame them for that. Rin had it all. Wealth, looks, a successful career as a pro soccer player. He had it all, or better said, almost had it all. Even for him, he lacked the very thing a husband should have. Love for his spouse.

He wasn’t the most loving husband, instead the polar opposite. Many days he was mostly cold, floating around you as if he was a ghost. You rarely hear him utter an “I love you” or any sweet names you’d give him. The most you get is a quick peck on the cheek, then off he goes. again and again.

So it was no surprise you’d find another man to spend spare time with, it was who it was that made it so taboo. And he had just arrived.

The doorbell rang, startling you out of your trance. Your body almost moved completely on its own, turning the knob till the door cracked open, revealing your company for the night.

He didn’t say a word, only standing there. Sae Itoshi, your seemingly brother in law. Then again, he doesn’t really deserve nor fit the title. He’s the very last person Rin would want in his home, and for very good reason. He’s cruel, untrustworthy, and a liar, but then again, he’s all the things you’d wish Rin was. Even if it came with the uglier bits. Sae didn’t waste time walking through the door, pulling you into a passionate kiss.

The man didn’t utter a ‘hello’, and was already prying at your pants. Palming at your soaking cunt, not breaking the kiss to let you breathe. He could be so greedy, so selfish. His lack of foreplay and even care for you was addictive, he was quick and straight to the point, useful when it comes to covering your act up quickly.

“S-Sae..”

You winced, but the man doesn’t stop for anything. Instead, tearing off the loose pajama top you had on and trailing his lips from your face to your jawline. Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around his hips as he carried you off into your bedroom. Plopping you onto the very bed your husband sleeps on, the sheets still smelling like him.

“Still aren’t gonna leave him?” Sae asked, his tone condescending and almost mean.

You shook your head, hearing him scoff before he began to unbutton his shirt. You felt your stomach twist once he fully shed off his white collar top, immediately going for the belt next. You sat up, almost reaching out to unzip his pants but was pushed back down. This time, his hand gripped your wrist and pinned you down.

“So impatient, Rin has been neglecting you huh..”

You quickly nodded, your cunt throbbing with need. It’s been too long since you had a cock stuff you full, your fingers couldn’t satisfy you nor could any of your toys. Rin didn’t help either, even when you two did have sex, he lacked the intimacy and treated it more like a chore if anything. You don’t remember him even trying. With Sae, however, it was almost like the man knew your body better than your own husband. It’s a damn shame you can’t always see him.

Sae climbed on top of you, crashing his lips against yours. His tongue poked and licked at your lips till he pried them open, stuffing your mouth till you whined from the overwhelming feeling. You clung onto his shoulders, nails digging into his skin till it became red.

He snuck his fingers between your thighs, digging into your boxers till his slender fingers reached between your folds. He teased, pressing his thumb against your throbbing clit. He chuckled when he heard you shudder against his touch, prompting him to gently slap your cunt. Your legs snapped shut, but not enough before he forced them back open and placed another (and harder) slap. You screwed your eyes shut, hissing from the slight sting yet the rush of pleasure that sent chills down your back.

“S-Sae please—“

“Please what? Speak up.”

He leaned closer, spitting his venom in your ear. His lips touched the flushed lobe, to the point where you nearly fell backwards.

“Please fuck me, please i’ve been waiting for—“

You whispered, already breathless. You couldn’t finish, however, as Sae once again landed another and harsher slap on your soaked cunny. A loud yelp tore from your throat, before a string of sobs filled the room.

“C’mon, giving up already..?”

He inched his hand away, causing you to grab his wrist and place it back onto your weeping cunt. You pleaded, and oh did you plead. Begging for his cock, for him to use you to his heart’s content, even if he broke you a little bit. He was yours, torn out of Rin’s arms and onto his dick effortlessly. It was embarrassingly easy, but then again, Sae always gets what he wants. Always.

He finally tore your boxers off, discarding them and looked down at the view in front of him. Flustered and eager, your legs spread wide open and your eyes syrupy from the tears you shed earlier. The sight made him harder than a rock, prompting him to fish out his cock from his tight pants. It was already leaking precum, the tip a flushed red as he stroked it, lubing up his dick. You took him plenty of times, so he’d stop using lube and fuck you raw.

“You like this don’t you? Taking another man raw while Rin is away. So fuckin’ shameless..”

He hissed, emerald eyes staring down at you like a predator. His face filled with lust and a carnal desire that begs to be released, released onto someone like you. Slowly, he sunk into you, biting back a groan. He looked down, watching his cock dissapere in your tight cunny. He watched your face shift, your mouth opening into an O shape and your eyebrows tilting upwards. It was a sight he could never get bored of. He leaned down, bottoming out while pressing kisses against your cheek and jawline. You were caged between his large arms, his body hovering over yours. You couldn’t help but open your eyes a bit and stare at your lover’s face. He was so damn beautiful, almost unreal. It’s no surprise he caught your eye when you saw him for the first time.

Sae moved slowly, dragging his cock in and out while peppering open mouthed kisses against your neck and chest, his mouth eventually catching one of your nippled. He licked and toyed with it while pinching the other between his fingers, grinning when he heard your mewls and cries. The sounds you made went straight to his dick, an insatiable appetite growing in him. He just couldn’t get enough, no matter how many times he stuffed your greedy cunt.

The sound of skin slapping against one another got louder once he quickened his pace, fucking every little sound your throat hid out. “Ah-ah-ah—“ choppy moans and cut off sobs from his sharp thrusts filled the rooms till its all you could hear. You could barely hear Sae’s degrading names and the rare groan that slips off his tounge.

“Greedy thing, aren’t you?”

He muttered against your skin, pulling away as he slowed down a bit but his thrusts remained harsh. Inching closer and closer to your cervix, your eyes rolled back till you began to see stars. Your fingers curled into the sheets below you, the pit in your stomach growing till you felt like you were gonna pass out from the heat and pleasure.

“Sae..! Why did you slow do—“

A loud smack along with a stinging pain on your inner thigh cut off your whines and forced a crooked sob out of your sore throat. Before you could look up, Sae pulled you up by your arms and flipped you onto your stomach. Pulling your hips up till your on your knees, you looked up from the pillow to meet Sae’s eyes. Strands of his hair stuck to his face, his gaze focused on your current position. While he lacked the love Rin at least had, his tone dripped with lust along with his seductive details in his face and body made you disregard how he could care less about you.

Rin still had the decency to treat you like how a lover should, you were just another paramour to Sae.

And he treated you as such, slamming his heavy cock back in your abused cunt. His hands gripping on your hips, enough to surely leave hand marks. You couldn’t keep up with his pace, to the point where Sae was just pulling your numbing body onto his dick. Fucking you hard and deep like if you were a damn fleshlight.

“Sae! Sae! Sae!”

You sobbed, clawing at your bedsheets until your fingers curl into the already ruined pillow. You stuffed your face into it, trying to muffle your screams. You’d hate it if any of your neighbors overheard what you were doing when your husband was away.

“Y-you’re too good, fuck..! Ah..!”

He abruptly stopped, grabbing a fistful of your hair and forcing your head up from the pillow.

“Yeah? Better than your dear husband?”

In a dumbified state, your lover balls deep and your body hot and numb, you nodded.

You admitted it, you actually fucking admitted it.

He laughs, breathlessly. In a mixture of shock and appeasement, he picked up his pace until your body was practically rocking up against the bed. He kept your head up, deep emerald eyes staring holes into your mind. He didn’t have to keep guessing, he already knew anyway. He just didn’t expect you to admit it in your most vulnerable state. Usually, a good husband would reassure his love for his significant other, even in the act of infidelity. Whether it was a lie or not, the spouse would always be first and everything.

But he could make someone break that rule so easily, and it fueled his ego to no end. The rush and pleasure he gets from this, from fucking his brother’s husband dumb till his cunny was filled with his seed. Even the image of it gets his dick hard. No matter what Rin would do, Sae would always get the upper hand. Even when it came to the very person who vowed up and down to be with him till death.

That gut wrenching feeling pushed Sae over the edge, as he shoved your head into the pillow once again and pressed his body against yours. You let out one final cry as the warm feeling of his cum filling your cunny overwhelmed you, twitching and shaking underneath him. Your mind went blank, only thinking about his cock that still sat in you. Not at all about Rin, or the fact that you're doing this behind his back. You didn’t remember the overwhelming guilt that would wash over you once Sae leaves the room. The short afterglow of it all, that’ll slowly melt into the same loneliness that had you running into his arms anyways.

An addictive cycle, one you refuse to break despite the consequences it’ll bring soon enough.

Sae pulls out, the feeling of your empty cunt ruining the afterglow. You weakly turn your body around, watching him redress himself. He didn’t have the decency or time to give you proper aftercare, after all, he has better things to tend to. Better yet, a better person.

“Still with her?”

You asked, annoyance and jealousy made clear in your tone. Your lover turned around, just as he was buttoning up his shirt. His face was traced with irritation and maybe a bit of anger with the way you referred to his wife.

“Tch. Think I'm gonna leave her for you?”

“You might as well, Sae..”

He turned away at your response, clearly not listening. You rolled your eyes, staying quiet as he slips his shoes on without saying another word. He leaves the room, as you listen to him walking down the stairs and out the front door. Cold and alone, once again.

Being selfish was the worst decision you could’ve made, and not just for you.

Your phone dinged, revealing a text from your husband. With a grimace face, you opened it much to your regret.

rinnie 💙: I miss you y/n. Let’s do something together once I get back, yeah?

You clutched your phone. Rin almost never texts, let alone even says “i miss you”. Reading that message was a punch to the gut, as you could almost hear the sincerity of his message.

Bastard. Why now?

🎧 this work belongs to @porcalinecunt. reblogs and feedback are appreciated. <3

[mins-fins]

five chronicles — ricky shen

the five most important moments of their relationship in ricky's eyes.

tags :: ricky shen x m!reader , chronological but also non-chronological , ricky is super in love , specific descriptions bc i love them , ricky-centric , reader is a bundle of joy , they're made for each other , fluff start angst end

ONE. ( their first interaction )

of course, meeting someone for the first time is an important staple in any new relationship, but on a survival show, it's way weirder.

ricky wasn't really close to anyone but his fellow yuehua trainees, and he didn't even know if he would make friends, due to how awkward he was. he wasn't even sure what was going on when y/n first approached him.

now y/n, y/n is very pretty, like— super pretty, all ricky could do when he was talking to him was stare at his face, there seemed to be absolutely no mistakes on it, like he was carved by the gods.

"hi! ricky right?"

ricky pauses for a moment, clearing his throat as he gathers his thoughts. "um, yeah, yeah that's me" he responds, sounding much more awkward than he wanted to.

the unknown boy smiles. "sato y/n, it's nice to meet you!" he extends his hand for ricky to shake, and he takes it, noticing the major difference in their hand temperatures.

"i watched your introduction video, your very hilarious".

ricky feels his face burn red, he doesn't know for what, though. he just wasn't used to such words from random pretty boys, but he genuinely finds the compliment endearing.

"i.. thank you" he says, voice much lower than he intended. "that's very nice of you".

"ah, it's really no problem, complimenting people is just a second nature to me".

ricky simply laughs, waving his hand. "it's fine, i just admire your nice nature".

it was weird for someone to just walk up to him out of the blue, compliment him out of nowhere. ricky only really received compliments from his parents' friends, or random people on the street, not someone so much like him.

he always thanks himself in his head that y/n had approached him, because he didn't even realize how much of a turn his life would take from this point.

TWO. ( dream team )

"ah, were on the same team! how exciting!"

y/n comments unconsciously, addressing ricky, he doesn't look to him though, which confuses ricky greatly. he looks towards the male, who just rocks back and forth, whistling.

"you were talking to me?"

"yeah" he responds, smiling politely at the shen. ricky simply blinks, eyes stuck on his figure. he can't help but stare, he's pretty, super pretty, he has this soft smile on his lips and his brown eyes look like they hold universes in them.

is it bad to stare? he might look like he's glaring, and that would just be a field day for all those mnet editors. he sighs and looks away, putting his hands behind his back.

they were on the same team, performing back door by stray kids. it was safe to say that ricky was nervous, but y/n seemed to be confident. ricky wanted to have that kind of attitude, but he just couldn't.

he found his hands shaking almost constantly, his stomach felt all over the place, and as he found himself backstage, he felt his fight or flight instincts kick in as he almost bolted away.

"jesus, are you cold?"

"no, i'm worried" he admits rather openly. y/n hums at the words, understanding.

"you have nothing to worry about, your going to do great" he whispers, and though ricky wants to believe the words, there's this thing that just makes him not want to.

"i want to believe that, but i can't".

"you can't?"

his hands start shaking almost faster as he's asked that question. they're up in a few minutes, he can't possibly explain it now.

still, he'll try.

"i don't know, it's like theres this barrier stopping me from feeling any kind of confidence, it's like it's making all of my anxiety escalate".

y/n doesn't interrupt him, just lets him talk, lets him pour out whatever feelings he has. he hums again, taking ricky's shaking hand. "alright, i get it, you feel anxious, take a deep breath".

the older male instructs, squeezing his hand as a way of encouragement. ricky doesn't know why he feels his anxiousness already going away, but he nods, taking in a deep breath, then exhaling.

"you know you shouldn't doubt yourself, right? everyone knows how amazing you are, and you did amazing during that practice, your gonna crush this performance, i'm sure of it".

y/n smiles at him once again, rubbing his hand for a moment before letting it go. "thank you, i really needed that" ricky mutters, not knowing what this strange fluttering feeling in his stomach was.

"it's really no problem, i just want to make sure my teammates are alright".

ricky nods, feeling his face go red once again when y/n pokes his cheek, giggling. "well, you better crush that stage".

THREE. ( a somewhat-strange conversation )

y/n had found his way into ricky's room, and eventually ricky's bed. it seemed to happen in a flash, where he had just woken up and now there was just this random pretty boy in his bed.

not that he was complaining, of course.

y/n looks up, his head still laid onto ricky's pillow. "so" he begins, starting another one of his somewhat strange conversations, he rolls over as he stares at ricky's figure.

"so?" ricky asks, craning his neck to turn and look at y/n, who was staring back with that signature smile of his. "so what?"

"what do you plan to do after the show? if you don't debut that is.."

ricky shrugs, fully turning around so he could get a better look at him. "i'll probably just go home, my parents want me to take over their company".

y/n snorts, amused. "ah, so you're that kind of rich, you could buy mnet if you wanted to!"

ricky laughs, and y/n continues. "you really took young and rich way too seriously".

he nods, enamored by the males words. "and what about you? what do you plan to do?"

y/n hums, flopping back down onto ricky's bed. "i'll probably just go back to school, i almost quit for this shit".

"i have no doubt you'll debut" ricky says almost unconsciously, the words had been on the tip of his tongue for what seemed like forever.

the older male laughs. "i have no doubt you'll debut" he emphasizes the you'll, as if he's saying a completely different sentence. "you've got this".

"you have a lot of confidence in me, but you never talk about yourself" ricky questions, yet it doesn't really come out like a question, more of a blank statement.

"if it happens, it happens, i'm just moving with the flow" he responds simply. ricky doesn't really understand that whole mentality, but he just laughs at y/n's words.

what a spectacle he is.

FOUR. ( favorite couple )

"whose your best friend, n/n?"

y/n hums, pretending to think when he knows his answer will be ricky. the two of them are clearly pretty close, he's the type of person to become best friends with someone after only a few hours of knowing them, and his answer was almost obvious if anything.

"ricky! right? were very close" he replies, the answer on his mind, almost rehearsed. ricky freezes, as if he didn't expect that. he had spent the past few days with him, just talking to him, he enjoyed his company, and y/n showered him with hugs and affection.

"me? i've never really been someone's best friend before" he mumbles, the gratefulness in his voice clear.

y/n giggles as he intertwines their hands. "well, your mine now! you can't get rid of me!" he yells, leaning onto ricky.

ricky simply stares, a habit of his whenever y/n is around. he captures his attention so easily, not even having to do anything spectacular to. it's not everyday someone he'd just met no more than two months ago makes him feel so.. weird.

he simply found y/n endearing, amazing. he was the epitome of joy, so grateful for his opportunities and everything given to him. he's patient, doesn't force anyone into anything they don't want to. he loved everything about him, his eyes, his voice, his personality, his humor, his smile, his laugh, his—

oh, he's rambling now isn't he?

he just loves how he feels around him, he doesn't feel any of the other platonic feelings he's felt for the other trainees, he feels love, and not just in a friendship way, but in a genuinely romantic way.

y/n is just amazing like that.

"i don't plan on getting rid of you anyway" he teases back, leaning his head onto y/n's. the two look so cute, like a newly wed couple or something.

"aww, they look like a couple" junhyeon teases, earning boisterous laughter from taerae, who definitely agrees.

they just seem made for each other.

FIVE. ( our final goodbyes )

ricky was originally stressed.

he had been scratching his hands all day, worried that he might not be able to debut, he was so worried that he'd barely gotten any sleep the previous night. everything in boys planet had led up to this, and it was an obviously stressful day for everyone.

fortunately, y/n was right there.

"calm down, ricky, nervousness makes your posture bad".

he runs a hand up and down ricky's back, and ricky can't fathom how he's so calm. "how are you so calm? you should be biting off your nails by now".

"as i said, if it happens it happens, just don't stress yourself out about it so much, i'm sure you'll make it".

y/n was right.

as ricky sits in his chair, having won at p04, he crosses his fingers in hope that y/n's name will somehow be called next. he finally made it, but he wanted to make sure y/n did too, he wanted to at least debut with him.

p03: seok matthew.

p02: sung hanbin.

p01: zhang hao.

there's really only a sliver of hope left, anyone could be called for p09, anyone could become the final member of the group, and he hopes to god that y/n makes it, he doesn't know what'd he do if he didn't.

"and rank p09 is.."

y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n y/n—

"han yujin!"

oh.

ricky closed his eyes. he's grateful, but also angry, so angry. at himself. he made it and y/n didn't. after all he did for him? after he encouraged him to do his best? after he made sure that everyone felt alright and were in their best head spaces for the performance?

he wants to cry.

he can't.

he wants to throw up.

he can't.

ricky went into this survival show stuff thinking nothing of it. he didn't expect to debut, he didn't expect to be loved, he didn't expect to fall in love.

and, he didn't expect to be so heartbroken over y/n not debuting with him.

he finds it even harder to accept as he watches y/n cry, hugging junhyeon in the crowd. his face stays still, not moving, as if he's unaffected, but he truly can't bring himself to come to terms with it.

all he wanted to do was to talk to y/n.

he immediately began searching for him when he stepped into the crowd to say goodbye, giving both jay and jeonghyeon hugs as he searched for the seemingly invisible boy.

"there you are" his voice whispers. ricky sighs, smiling, although disappointed.

"here i am" he replies, face not moving. y/n has dry tears on his face, but he's still smiling. "i told you, i was sure you'd make it".

ricky bites his inner cheek, the words only having been told to him a few hours ago. "yeah, guess you are a fortune teller".

"i couldn't tell my own fortune though".

even if he's trying to cope with humor, it seems to not work, as tears start welling up in his eyes once again. "i'm so proud of you, you know that?"

"y/n—"

"i became friends with you because you were cool, i seriously do still think your cool, i was so amazed by everything you did, and when you agreed that i was your best friend, it made me feel special, you made me feel special".

ricky isn't sure how he keeps his composure, even with all the shouting and chatter going on around him, y/n is the only person he sees, the only one he hears, his only focus.

"i wanted to debut with you.." he mumbles, taking his hands, probably for the last time.

y/n smiles, and ricky wipes the tears from his face. "me too, but you did it! go on, have fun with your group".

it felt like a piece of him was being broken away, as if this was one of the most heartbreaking moments of his entire life. he takes a deep breath and wipes y/n's tears away.

ricky pulls him into a hug, sighing. "i'm so sorry, i— i failed you".

"you didn't" y/n chuckles, running a hand up and down his back. "it's okay, you made it, that's all that matters".

but you matter too, he wants to say. the words are on the tip of his tongue, he wants to say them so bad, but he couldn't, like he was being prevented from doing so.

"don't think it's your fault, i'm still proud of you, okay?"

ricky nods, he doesn't want to let go, but he has too, because he has to go, everything has to end eventually.

he finally lets go of y/n's hands after what seems like forever, but he still can't seem to step away.

"you know i love you, right ricky?"

the words seem so random, but y/n is random, even through tears and with everyone else talking in the background, he still finds the confidence to say those words.

"i love you too" ricky replies.

that was probably the last time he'd ever say those words.

AUTHORS NOTE — HOLY MOTHER OF GOD this was tragic!!! i genuinely felt like sobbing while writing this wtf ╥﹏╥

[h2llish]

【╰ヾ❝ CATS AND BOOKS ✧„

SATAN ━━ he's falling in love with a human ♡ fluff, just a little angsty, so many cats, pining, gender neutral, lowercase intended

part of the love in chance series

satan has read many books ━ romance, mystery, thriller, and much more. he's read through books about forbidden romances, mysterious thrillers that end with an unexpected killer, and he'll recall all of them perfectly. satan has always loved reading, however, he's never had anyone to share that feeling with. sure, mc has shown interest in his books and the two occasionally suggested books to one another (although it was mostly satan giving suggestions), but their love for books wasn't the same as satan's and they both knew that.

reading was something he used to hopefully distract himself from the rage that came with his sin. the same sin that led him up to the human world with mc as the human exchange student did their best to distract the demon after another fight with the eldest brother.

"why don't you wait out here?" mc suggested as the two of them found themselves on a street full of stores and buildings of all types. they gestured towards a small building of what seemed to be a tea shop. why they were going in there, satan wasn't sure, but he nodded nonetheless. mc smiled, but didn't turn to enter the shop just yet, "you can look around too, you know? we can always meet back up here. i think there's a bookstore nearby, why don't you check that out?"

satan hesitanted, glancing around the market area. it wasn't packed with people, but there was still quite a number of couples and groups that walked the area. he sighed, turning back to mc, "i guess i'll look around."

"okay!" mc smiled, "i'll text you later, 'kay?"

satan nodded and they turned away, entering the teashop. satan deflated for a moment, before straightening his shoulders and turning to the decent crowd of people. if mc was correct about a bookstore being somewhere along the rows of stores, then he'd rather occupy there than continue to roam outside among people who didn't know the definition of personal space.

satan found himself soon weaving through the crowd, eyeing the several stores in search of the bookstore mc thought to be there. but his searched continuously came with a lack of results, and eventually he began to think that maybe mc had been mistaken. perhaps they mixed it up with a different area? there's plenty of similar streets like this one, he's heard, they might've recalled a different one.

with a sigh, satan pushed through the crowd, shoulders relaxing as he found cover from the rushing people in a corner between a perfume store and a store without a name or owner from the looks of it. there was a very thin alley he stood in front of, between the two buildings despite the many other stores being connected to each other. the alley wasn't very wide, and he was sure only a little d could squeeze through.

"well, what to do?" he spoke to himself, glancing down at the screen of his d.d.d.

"mrrow."

satan found himself quickly perking up at the familiar sound, turning his head to look down as something rubbed against his ankle. a tabby cat, he realized as he kneeled in front of the feline, holding out his hand. it purred as it rubbed the side of its face against his fingers. the avatar of wrath quickly assumed the cat to be a stray, by the lack of collar and parts of hair missing. yet it did not run from him, happily leaning into his touch as he pet it gently.

more soft calls joined the tabby's purrs, and he glanced back, blinking as more cats slowly came from the thin alley, and he smiled. some of them stopped to join the tabby in the attention it received from the demon before turning away and joining the few who chose to ignore him. there was an awful lot of strays; yet all of them, including the tabby, seemed well fed and some looked groomed or otherwise taken care of. it made him question if he was right about them being strays.

he gasped as the device in his hand was snatched away, eyes widening for a moment as he watched the tabby cat, he was petting bolt away in the direction of the other stray cats, his d.d.d in its mouth. "what━ hey!" satan yelled as he stood to his feet, wasting no time in going after the cats who maneuvered under and around the feet of passing humans.

the gather of cats seemed to all have the same destination as they turned a corner, some people quickly moving out of the way as soon as they noticed the group of felines. satan managed to keep up, confused and maybe a little irritated as he watched the tabby cat who stole his d.d.d turn into one of the stores on the street. the door was left ajar, letting the cat enter with ease, and satan was quick to follow.

satan entered the store, glancing around at the━ oh, it's a bookstore.

"mrrow."

"oh!"

satan turned to the back of the bookstore where he seen the tabby cat who stole from him was sitting on the counter where the register was, his d.d.d set down in front of it. behind the counter was a person, staring at the cat in a bit of confusion. maybe they wondered why a cat was in a bookstore?

"what's that?" they asked the cat, grabbing the device and looking it over, "did you━"

satan cleared his throat, and they jumped, obviously having not realized someone other than the cat (or cats, because now he's realized the other cats had joined the tabby inside), had entered.

"oh, uh," they smiled, "sorry, hello. how can i help you?"

satan gestured toward the d.d.d in their hand, "that belongs to me."

they glanced down at his device, blinking a few times, before gasping and narrowing their eyes on the tabby cat now laying comfortably on the counter, "thief! you stole from someone again!" the cat curled itself into a ball, ignoring them. they sighed, shaking their head and turning back to satan, holding out the d.d.d, "i'm sorry! thief is always stealing from people. so many have come to me because he stole their phone or wallet." they began petting the tabby, or thief, as they called it while satan tucked his d.d.d back into his pocket.

"is he━" satan cut himself off, gesturing towards the cats that joined thief on the counter and those that chose to curl up on shelves stacked with books, "are they yours?"

"oh, no." they shook their head, using their hand not petting thief to scratch another cat's chin, "they're all strays." they shrugged, stepping away from the counter and the cats for a moment to kneel and grab something from behind. they stood straight again, smiling as they held up a bag of cat treats. "but i feed them! and they're always welcome here."

satan looked down as one of the cats, a grey cat, walked up to him. it looked old, a cat he can only guess has been on the streets for a long time. satan kneeled, smiling gently as it sniffed his fingers, before rubbing its face against him, leaning into his hand as he carefully scratched its chin.

the person behind the counter leaned forward, watching him and the cat as they gave some of the cats a treat, "that's miss sweets. she's older than most of the cats here."

"did you name all of them?" satan asked━ he's being quite talkative, perhaps it's the cats. he does love cats, far more than he likes books (and this bookstore has both).

"i did!" they answered proudly.

satan nodded, humming as the old cat moved closer to him, almost leaning into him completely.

"usually people complain about having all these stray cats in my bookstore." they tilted their head, humming as they moved around the counter to stand in front of the demon and cat. many cats followed them, calling up to them while also joining miss sweets in requesting attention from the avatar of wrath, much to satan's delight.

"what's your name?"

satan paused, looking up at them. he hesitated, "satan."

they hummed, tilting their head at the cats crowding around the two, "well, satan, the cats really like you." they held out their hand and smiled, "i'm [name]! nice to meet you!"

"you too?" satan said, although his words sounded more like a question as he stopped petting one of the cats to return their handshake. they didn't seem to mind, smiling at him and firmly shaking his hand.

satan returned his hand to his side as they stood, turning away to return behind the counter. satan continued to kneel in front of the cats and miss sweets, who had laid herself across the floor, letting satan run his fingers through her short, old fur. unfortunately, miss sweets was startled when his d.d.d went off, leading to her jolting away from his hand and standing to her feet. satan frowned, standing back to his feet and pulling out his d.d.d.

hey, satan! i just finished. you ready to go?

i'll be there soon.

satan sighed, tucking his d.d.d back into his pocket after replying to mc. he was getting quite fond of miss sweets and the other cats.

"are you leaving?" they asked, looking up from behind the counter and away from thief.

satan nodded, "yes."

they smiled, "that's too bad, miss sweets seemed to really like you."

"you think so?" satan perked up, and they chuckled, nodding.

"feel free to come by any time. i'm sure miss sweets would like that." they gestured toward the old cat watching him from next to his feet, having returned to him despite his d.d.d startling her.

satan smiled, kneeling down for a moment to scratch miss sweets ears, before he stood again, nodding at [name]. "i think i will. perhaps i'll even pick up a book." he said that last part mostly to himself. they nodded in return, waving him goodbye as he turned away to leave.

he thinks he's found his new favorite spot.

satan has found his new favorite spot.

it was only a small bookstore, but your love for cats was in rivalry to his own and allowed them to walk into the store whenever they wanted. it was the cats that made him enjoy the presence of books even more.

he's been coming to the bookstore for quite some time. at first, it was during the times mc would take him up to the human world, and he'd always find himself in front of the bookstore where the stray cats frequented. you always greeted him kindly, welcoming him back, as did miss sweets, who seemed to like him quite a bit. but then, he started to visit the human world without the exchange student. he had come to enjoy his visits more than he already did. that had to do with how he found himself another reason to visit other than miss sweets and the other strays; you.

you were quite happy to make conversation with him, even when he first started visiting and wasn't very talkative. but he did start returning conversation with conversation, and that led to new things being learned about each other. you not only shared his love for cats, but also his like for reading (of course, he should've expected that, you did manage the bookstore).

"satan!" you greeted, smiling at the demon as he entered the bookstore. there was a stack of books in your arms as you exited one of the isles. "welcome back!"

a soft smile made its way onto his face, and the warm feeling that rolled up his neck did not go unnoticed by satan as you smiled at him, "hello, [name]."

satan has read many romance books ━ a prince who falls in love with a commoner, childhood friends realizing they've always loved each other, or enemies who realize their hate for one another had developed into romance. or even the simple romance; strangers to friends to lovers ━ there was nothing special about either of them and yet they found friendship and eventually love in someone they didn't know at the start.

although he preferred books of difference to romance, he found himself reading more and more romance the longer he'd spent at your bookstore. and the more this carried on, the more you filled his thoughts, even during the days he'd find himself sitting silently in his room, breathing heavy after another fight with lucifer ━ you, were always on his mind. so, he turned to the books that spoke of his situation; the warmth on his face, the heavy feeling in his chest, the everyday thought about you. but he knew he couldn't rely on the words of a work of fiction, but what else could he turn to?

mc was the one to answer his questions, noticing the way their friend had become quite occupied with his thoughts and the human world. they asked him, and satan hesitated; but he trusted his good friend, and they were human, perhaps they could help.

"what?" satan asked as he finally finished his explanation of what he had been feeling; and his rather eager visits to a certain human managing a bookstore. mc was smiling kindly at him, sincere and gentle as they shook their head and sighed. "what is it?"

mc stood from the chair they had sat in when they came to see him in his room, moving to sit beside satan on his bed. "satan, i think this person..." they trailed, lips pursing for a moment in thought, before placing a hand on his shoulder carefully and continuing, "i think you might have feelings for them. romantic feelings."

of course, satan didn't want to believe it. he was the avatar of wrath. even his brothers treaded carefully, in order to not anger the demon lest they wanted to be at the end of his sin. although he tried to separate himself from the sin he was only projected as; finding comfort in the words on pages; it was difficult. mc tried to tell him, as someone he trusted, that he wasn't just his sin, just like his brothers weren't either. but he found it difficult to believe, just like his brothers who were always careful of his anger.

could he really love someone? much less a human who remains unaware of who and how he really is?

"take your time to think about it." mc had gently suggested, careful with their words so as to not force the demon into a state of overthinking that would only lead to frustration. they squeezed his shoulder in a way of comfort, before standing, deciding that maybe it was best to leave him alone to think.

they smiled, "if you need me at all just come find me, okay?" he didn't reply, but they knew he heard them by the almost unnoticeable nod he gave. mc stood in front of him for a moment, before turning away and walking carefully through the mountains of books, and towards the door. they stopped with their hand on the doorknob, and turned back to him, "it'll be okay, satan. you can care for someone like them." and then mc was out the door, leaving the embodiment of wrath to his thoughts.

satan was wrath, he was a demon, a being to be feared for his easily flicked switch of anger. but he was also someone who enjoyed books and loved cats. he was rational, and he knew that a part of him, deep down, really did believe mc. he could love someone, he wasn't just his anger. but he was still his sin, anger was a dangerous thing, especially to a demon who embodied it, especially to a human who could crumble so easily because of him.

but you, you were kind. you took care of the cats that had found a home in you after living on the streets. you used your money to buy foods and treats when you didn't have to. you enjoyed the books that lined the shelves of the bookstore you managed. and you always greeted him with a smile, always seeming so happy to see him, even if he had been there just the day before.

and when satan found himself frustrated as he visited the human world, nails sharp as they dug into his palms and shoulders tense, you noticed. you were a human, you didn't who he was, you didn't know how dangerous his anger could be, yet you noticed, always with a gentle smile and no words. you didn't try to calm him down; you just mentioned a book you thought he'd like and went into a tiny rant about a new cat on the street, uncaring if he replied to you or not.

"she's still warming up to me, but yesterday she joined miss sweets in the store and ate some of the food i left out." you explained, a proud smile on your face. the familiar tabby cat joined you on the counter, yet you remained unbothered as he nipped at your fingers for lack of attention. you chuckled, lifting your hand to scratch the top of theif's head. "i'm sure she'll feel safe here soon. i hope she does. she deserves to be loved."

satan didn't reply, but he tried to refrain from gripping the book in his hands too tightly, staring at you past the pages. neither of you noticed the way his face softened as he stared at you, content in scratching the feline troublemaker curled up under your hand. and you remained unaware of the feeling that shocked his chest and dipped under his skin. it was almost painful as he used one of his hands to grip the sweater he wore, eyes the slightest bit wide.

he really did love you, he realized. he loved someone who didn't know of the sin that categorized him. he loved a human who made him feel something other than the anger that was always there, lurking not-so-silently in his chest.

he loved you, and maybe one day he'd accept it enough to tell you. after all, he believed the best part of every romance book was the confession.

satan! this is probably one of my prouder works in the series so far :) writing for him might be a new favorite thing of mine <3 especially the (minor) angst that lingered at the end there hehe

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[reztoru]

──── All Good Things

彡 gojo missing you late at night

tw / cw : angst — no comfort, implied death of reader

pairing : gojo x reader

gender not specified, no physical descriptions of reader

w/c : 982

The sun had long since set, and the world felt silent. The tall, ocean-eyed man hummed along to the quiet waves of a melody emanating from a distant memory. His body shook gently, clutching onto the image of you. As if you were going to fade away into the night. Becoming nothing more than a star dancing in the sky too many light years away.

He felt like a man right now. Not a god, but a humbled man who held the answers to the entire galaxy. And here you were, the answer to all the 'what ifs?' He could feel the puzzle pieces fall into place with you. The discomfort that bubbled up after a harsh day melted away into your sweet smile. The uncertainty of ‘who’s next?’ never lingered long enough to mourn when he walked in the door to see you huddled in the kitchen. You’d make the world fizzle down to a halt, dusting away that uncertainty, and leaving it at the door for another day.

He thinks back to when it first happened, when he first fell in love with you, that is. When he first felt the sickly sweet butterflies in his stomach, he’d tell himself it was only a silly little crush. But it only grew the more time you spent together, over the short years you had. Every moment together made those feelings blossom and swirl. You were so engraved into his daily life back then; it was hard not to fall.

Maybe there wasn’t a specific moment when it all happened, now that he thinks of it. It was almost like the feeling seemed to have always been there. Something akin to soulmates — though before you, he’d never even given that thought the time of day. Soulmates aren’t what you get in the line of sorcery, especially being the strongest. Luxuries like pure love aren’t what linger around for generations to come. Foolishly, for a moment, he must’ve forgotten that love was sick and twisted — the worst curse of them all.

Even so, you’d whisper,

– I’m with you.

You’d say it after every disagreement, after every argument. You’d say it every missed date. Every late night when he couldn’t find the words, when they’d get caught in his throat and all he could muster up was a broken smile. Your hand would slide his blindfold off, giving him a melancholy nod.

Satoru’s crystalline eyes looked out the window, gazing up at the heavy blue sky. And if there was an afterlife in the misty veil up above, that’s where you’d be. Yeah, he saw you up there. He saw you up there as the clouds moved to make way for your heavenly ascend. Of course they’d move for you, of course. How could they not when the world’s axis already obeys your command.

And perhaps he’d always known this is how things would end. Our reality is that things won't last forever. We have a limited time on this earth, and the people who come into our lives are only there temporarily — no matter how permanent they may seem. They appear with no rhyme or reason, and slip away from your grasp just as quick.

Really, it’s cruel the way things work, and Satoru Gojo was a fool for thinking things would last. So, he’ll wallow in this poisoned nostalgia, sitting in the room that he used to share with you. A place that felt warm even on the coldest nights. And he’ll let this façade fall for a moment, wrap his arms around his body and whisper your soft words to himself. He’ll let himself fall into the delusion that this warmth was yours, that these arms that engulf him are yours.

Those faint touches linger on his body as he softly reminisces on sweet memories. Your fingers treading through his frosty hair, teasingly grazing his ears, and mapping out his body. You and your soothing scent dominated those nights. He had found a safe space in you to nuzzle into. A haven that allowed him to be a broken man.

And oh, he felt like he had the world in his hands when he lost himself in your arms. No — you were more than the world. With the way you navigated in the mortal realms, it seemed like you were the creator, like you were life itself. Like you were the honey bees that kissed the flowers, the trees that danced air into the lungs, or the sun that granted warmth to its beggars.

You were his, and he thought that he’d have you forever.

But life as a sorcerer proved again that nothing is eternal, and what does last is only for a brief moment. A brief moment that Satoru will look back on and feel the impact of weigh heavy on him every time. Being the strongest doesn’t mean much when you can’t save the people you love. It doesn’t mean much if they fade away in your arms, watching as the sparks fall from their eyes. The glossy tears engulfing them — or maybe his. Hearing the last I love you stumble from your lips, broken and choked.

Alas, you are nothing more than a bittersweet memory, a ghostly touch on his hands and a faint smell within the confines of his room — one that he finds is fading away. And they, like all things, must come to an end. The honey bees eventually die, the wind stops, the trees still and the sun says goodbye.

Tonight was just a craving in the moonlight’s teasing gaze, a chink in his armor. Tonight, he’ll beg silently for your warmth once more, just once more. And when the morning comes, he’ll clutch your words to his chest, and put a smile on his face.

Poor Satoru, don’t you know? All good things must come to an end, and that you did.

[maeby-cursed]

SOMETIMES I'M NOT MYSELF, I LOOK FOR A BETTER DISGUISE…

𓂃 DANCING TILL THE POWER GOES OUT.

a/n: following with my songfic series, this one is inspired by valiente by vetusta morla (the original lyrics are "a veces no soy yo, busco un disfraz mejor / bailando hasta el apagón") ! this is also an angst fic but the vibe in this one is a bit more pungent. i apologize for making toji like this, i will get back to my soft!toji program soon ♡ (this one is vv weird, btw, and i wrote it while suffering from a headache, enjoy)

✧ synopsis: you met toji seven months ago and since then, the only thing you've both agreed on is how much you cannot stand each other. now it's time to go; even if it means giving up trying, and leaving a familiar warmth behind.

✧ pairings: toji fushiguro x fem!reader

✧ wc: 1.6k

✧ rating: angst ! pure angst, discounted and at a good price ! angst and pain; two for the price of one ! of the richest quality and endless suffering !!

✧ cw: toxic relationship, toji suffers from toxic masculinity, a bit of an age gap (toji is early 30s, reader is implied to be early 20s), mentions of toji's shitty ass economy, heavy cursing.

There’s a storm inside your house and it is made of cries locked within the walls of your lover’s apartment.

You and Toji have been arguing for six months out of the seven you’ve known him.

Apparently, May flowers brought November showers (or better said, downpours), as well as a thick darkness, because since last week, Toji's entire street has been without light, water or electricity. 

A desert in the middle of a flood, seems almost biblical.

Both of you are in the kitchen – distressingly narrow and painted in a gloom shade of indigo –, in the midst of your fifth discussion this week. The fridge door is open while you talk, but neither of you cares, all of its contents are already wasted, anyways. The light doesn’t even flicker.

You don't know exactly how this particular fight started.

Toji had arrived at his apartment – his, exclusively – late, with a bag of fast food in hand. An individual order. When he’d arrived, he’d looked at you and asked you what you were doing there, and everything had gotten out of hand from that point on.

After six months of waiting for him in the same place, in the same position, in the same corner of his grimy sofa, you'd thought he might remember you, might remember that you are a constant in his life.

Not the case.

The fight escalates to such an extent that you find yourself shouting and gesticulating aggressively.

What starts badly ends worse, your grandmother used to say.

(And yet, it ends).

So now you stand barefoot, in your white slip, looking at him with all the fire you can fan into your eyes. 

"I have no fucking idea what is it that you want, Toji Fushiguro, but you need to stop looking for it in me. Either take me as I am or leave me, it's as simple as that."

He looks back at you, his gaze shallow. He always stares at you like this, as if instead of seeing you, he were trying to evaluate you; like you’re nothing but a mere statue to him and he’s looking for a spot where the artist could’ve slipped his chisel. 

But you don’t cower before him. Although his height seemed imposing when you first met him, he now seems ridiculous to you. A child hidden behind a brick wall.

"Could you stop talking in code for two fucking minutes?"

"I want you to stop treating me like shit. You caught on now?"

He laughs unfunnily.

"I think I treat you pretty well, girl."

"Really?" you smile. There's a part of you that cringes at the gesture; he's been souring you since you met. Now you're fed up, but you know you'll never be able to return all of the blows he’s knocked you out with. "You think coming home and taking me to your bedroom for five minutes of grunts and sweat is treating me well?"

"Our bedroom."

That does make you laugh.

"Fuck, Toji, I don't live here! You never asked me to move in with you. And I've waited for you but I'm..... I don't even know what I am. Disappointed, maybe?" Your mood begins to shift as you search for him with your stare. You want to see some sort of reaction, something that isn’t a performance, something that doesn’t act as a mirror. 

Something that tells you he cares about you.

"I thought I was dating an adult,” you continue, softly now. “That we could talk about it but... God, you're exactly like all the men I've been trying to avoid. All savages, the lot of you; too barbaric to be able to say you feel anything, even if it’s pure lust."

He raises a brow, closing the refrigerator door with a slam and leaning against the countertop with a click of his tongue.

"You want me to tell you that you make me horny?" he asks, with an ironic smirk.

"I want you to tell me that there's something that goes with the sex. Something that can last."

He doesn't say anything, just exhales loudly, huffing with annoyance.

And for some reason, the gesture takes you back two decades ago, when your father used to do that to you. A puff of air like cigarette smoke whenever you wanted something he didn't feel like giving you; mostly his time.

You don't know where the memory comes from, but it hurts. It burns and coats your throat with bile.

"There’s nothing," he whispers, at last. 

Now you really have to make an effort not to vomit.

Silly girl, you say to yourself, you already knew that. But it's no use.

"And I had to dig that out of you with a spoon, baby," you tell him, dripping with sarcasm.

He doesn't notice how you pale, how you grab the skirt of your dress and bite the inside of your cheek. He doesn't smell your despair, nor the copper drops emanating from the wound you've caused yourself by biting on your skin.

Toji's not a bloodhound, no matter how much he resembles one. He's just an asshole.

Your words make him frown and stick out his jaw. You recognize his hint – you’d recognize him by taste alone –, it's the gesture he makes before he fights.

"And what the fuck did you expect? For me to telepathically figure out whatever shit you’re thinking?"

"No, Toji. I just wanted an answer." That’s it, you suppose.

You sigh, unclenching your fists without relaxing your shoulders, and head for the bedroom. Except for your cell phone and a pair of nightgowns, you have almost nothing here. Let him keep the panties, if he gave them back to you, you'd burn them anyway. 

He follows when you pass him by on your way out of the kitchen, and, for once, he looks incredulous.

"What? You think we’re done chatting?"

"I don't even feel like looking at that asshole face of yours anymore."

Every word that comes out of your mouth stabs him in the spleen. He's never seen you like this.

You have nothing left to care for, nothing left to protect from the storm, nothing to hope and pray to see bloom. Your land is infertile and all you feel is frustration, so there's no more measuring yourself.

To hell with all this.

"Yesterday it was all about cuddling and today you're leaving,” he says. “What did you expect?" At that, he smiles with malice, one that, unfortunately, is not unfamiliar to you. "That we were going to fall madly in love? That this was about more than sex? Oh, but you're just a little girl. I've been with a hundred of the likes of you."

He's lying. You know he's lying. 

This man has never loved a woman in his life – you pity his mother – but he's not a manwhore either. He wears things out until he’s outgrown them.

It's funny — he’s always looked too big on you.

Your head turns around, but you stay frozen where you are, kneeling in front of the bottom drawer of his nightstand. On your knees, you almost look like you're praying, but your eyes condemn a truth that hurts him. It burns and coats his throat with bile.

"I never expected you to fall in love with me, Toji. I'm not that stupid," you look at the drawer again, taking clothes and shoving them carelessly into your bag. "I'm just young."

“I may be young, but give me time.” Those words, the ones you told him when he met you, a little over half a year ago, ring in his ears. “I can take a hundred men like you.”'

He remembers them now, gall climbing up to his uvula. Your smile back then clashes with your current tears. You have aged seven years in seven months.

He can see it in your posture, in the expensive fabric of your dress and the way you tie your hair back. He can see it in the depth of your cupid's bow, in the care with which you hold your hands.

You know how to handle dynamite now, but you can't stop gunpowder from blowing up.

Toji is speechless. He doesn't want you to leave, but he's already worn you out, you've already woken up from your reverie. He hasn’t outgrown you yet.

When you get up, your cheeks are covered with tears. You wipe them away carefully; you would’ve never done that back when he met you.

You were free then; of wild smiles and clumsy hands, of loud cries and smell of freesias. Young with bravado, a shell of the sea.

Seeing you like this, knowing you're going away, turns his stomach. This is the last time, and you don't smell like freesia anymore. You're all orange and lavender, unmistakable and silent.

Toji raises a hand and brings it up to you. For a split second of madness you think he's going to slap you, but he simply catches a strand of your hair; only instead of tucking it behind your ear, he lets it curl around your cheek.

His hand falls to his side – he wasn't raised to be like this. He wasn’t raised to get you to stay.

"Get out," he murmurs, the timbre of his voice low and plangent.

You close your eyes for a moment, just to find his image behind your eyelids; smiling and defiant, with a glass of champagne in his hand and kohl-stained eyes.

The tide inside washes away everything else.

"You don't have to tell me twice."

What starts badly ends worse, you think. 

(And yet, it ends).

© 2023, MAEBY-CURSED — do not copy/repost/edit.

(reblogs are appreciated !!)

[thexianzhoujade]

YOU'RE NOT HER | genshin impact fanfiction. zhongli x gn!reader — heavy angst, hanahaki disease, hurt/no comfort, mentions of blood & gagging (almost vomit), death, ‘unrequited’ love

idle chatter. this is a reupload from my old blog so if you want to argue that i'm stealing, i'm literally robbing myself <3 library waiting list. @lovingluxury @dumbificat @starryshinyskies @ryuryuryuyurboat @ainescribe @bfjax @soleillunne @sangoqueenkoko

aventurine's addition. "alexi, darling, don't forget to link 'you should have been her' for the readers. it is the infamous second part, after all."

oh that man, that gorgeous, benevolent man you’d fell in love with all those moons ago; with dark hair that fades into a glowing orange, resemblant of the sunset and his own geo vision. you had fell in love, yes - you thought he had too. the thought crosses your mind whenever he’s not by your side, not within your grasp like he usually is. typically, the man was serving his job at the wangsheng funeral parlour as a consultant.

you grimace when the tight feeling in your ribcage suffocates you. it’s getting stronger as time goes on, knocking the breath right out of your lungs and leaving you hacking up blood into a white handkerchief. zhongli had expressed no ends of concern about the situation when he’d find the bloodied handkerchiefs scattered around your shared home, ushering you to doctor baizhu as soon as possible.

you had begged baizhu not to utter a word of your condition to zhongli. he returned your pleads with a sorrowful look.

how could your love be so unrequited? had you been the only one true to your word this whole time? the mere thought stings at your eyes, tears threatening to spill as you shakily wash the dishes. zhongli isn’t home, not for a few more hours. he said he had business to attend to - that meant it wasn’t work related. was he cheating? you shake the sour thought away from your head, scowling.

you wonder if the oh-so-wise man could ever read the wrinkles appearing on your skin, aging you with every passing concern that you don’t voice aloud, with every day that goes by where you’re suffocating from the inside out. he never mentions it, perhaps he simply does not care. you feel the knot in your throat, sickening as you gag and splutter into the soapy water of the sink. you keep gagging, the knot doesn’t budge and you’re filled with an overwhelming sense of nausea.

your body grows tired. you slip down to your knees, banging elbows and other limp limbs against kitchen cabinets as you go down. finally, with one last cough, the knot exits your mouth. it falls to the wood floorboards beneath you, slimy and covered in blood but undoubtedly recognised as a glaze lily. its petals are shut, you understand that there is no music, no lullaby to be heard to lull the glaze lily to bloom. it’s an ancient flower, one you always used to admire before this curse laid upon you.

the front door to your house opens, keys jingling in a specific man’s gloved hands as he enters. you hurry to throw the glaze lily out of the kitchen window, submerging your hands in the sink once more as the metallic taste of blood and lingering aftermath of a floral tang swarms your mouth. you hold your breath, hoping you didn’t have the appearance of someone who had just coughed up a flower so violently.

a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist, suddenly you’re hit with the faint smell of aged wine and familiar scent of freshly dug earth. you smile at the thought, leaning back into his chest despite the pain tearing at your lungs and the burning sensation left behind in your throat.

“you’ve been coughing again—” zhongli’s voice reverberates close to your ear, hot breath fanning over your skin and your eyes raise from the dirty water to your reflection in the kitchen window, where zhongli’s warm amber eyes are staring at you so deeply.

“it’s okay, my love, i promise,” you lie through your teeth, hoping the man sincerely couldn’t read through you the way he used to, “this time it was a smaller amount than the last…”

you try to sound cheerful in your approach to the topic, careful to maintain that personality he’d apparently fell in love with one day in liyue harbour. zhongli makes a noise - is he doubting you? you watch as a gloved hand raises, nearing your face before his thumb wipes gently at a trickle of blood leading from the corner of your lips.

“i’ll speak to doctor baizhu in the morning,” zhongli states firmly, you almost bite back the words that taste bitter about him ‘caring’ for you, “perhaps you need a higher dose of your medication.”

the medication in question surely had been a ruse to fool the man, though you did not expect it to have worked. changsheng had uttered that you could not leave the bubu pharmacy without some form of medication, it’d look absurd in the eyes of the wangsheng funeral parlour consultant. in agreement, baizhu had qiqi mix violetgrass powder with sugar - the instructions were simple, mix it into the hot tea you’d drink with zhongli every evening.

it was sweet, not at all bitter and the scent of violetgrass made it bearable. apparently the inclusion of herbal properties was enough to fool your dearest partner or so you thought.

—

it’s hard to understand the fine line between a lie and a truth when the past few months, you’d been dating a man for someone whomst he was not. it was a struggle to understand the situation but it kept you up for endless nights, counting stars and tending to the numerous flora you’d planted in the garden underneath the moonlight - courtesy of your friend the traveler for appearing with so many countless seeds of blooms from across teyvat.

yet as you sit on the grass, staring at the pile of dead - and dying - glaze lilies you had acquired, the stars twinkling endlessly above you, you understood why he’d done it. he was judicious, hoping to protect you from his past yet keep you as his future. the thought made that pain in your chest tighten. you let out a futile whimper into the quiet night.

as you ponder zhongli’s status as liyue’s archon - the geo archon of all people, you begin to question your previous doubts. your breaths become struggled, your chest heaving as you lay on your back for some relief. trembling fingertips brush amongst blades of grass, hoping for a distraction as tears spill down your cheeks.

liyue is a beautiful country with vast mountains and yellowed plains that seem to stretch endlessly. its civilisation had become fruitful at the expense of liyue harbor, bustling with trade and the thing your partner had appeared to love the most; contracts. he has every right to be proud of the nation liyue had built to this day, despite claiming that he’d ultimately retired - “the people can do without me, they’ve proved that much.”

blood trickles from your mouth but it’s not gentle, it’s a rush, like a waterfall as it spills down the sides of your face and pools on the grass below you. it’s littered in an array of blue and white petals, matching that of glaze lilies - a flower you’d grown to hate. you struggle to get oxygen into your lungs with the rising level of blood that doesn’t dissipate from your parted lips, suffocating you as you try to no ends to breathe through your nose.

that is, if there was room in your lungs for such oxygen. twists and turns of branches and roots that climb to the walls of your organs, painting them with glaze lilies and filling them with fallen petals every time a flower wilts from the unreasonable conditions inside your body.

you’re proud of liyue; the magnificent, beautiful nation of geo that you got to experience in all of its glory. zhongli often times referred to liyue with feminine pronouns and as the light dies from your eyes and your chest ceases to rise, you can only think one thing with your last dying breath.

you’re not her.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

© thexianzhoujade 2024. | reblogs appreciated | do not re-upload, copy, translate, etc. my works on any form of media.

[arafilez]

☆ ⼂ [ 23:52 ] ﹗

ꔫㅤㅤ ❜[ lsm x any reader ] ㅤ⋆ ㅤangst, comfort, estb. relationship 𓏧 timestamp ㅤ warnings arguing,crying ㅤ﹢ㅤ0.4k wc

Is it everything that you did? You don’t know, you don’t care anymore. You and Seokmin have been fighting over the last hour and at this point you don’t even remember what the fight was originally about. You look at Seokmin to see his angry face that was so much in contrast with his usual bright personality.

“Seokmin, can we stop? I don’t even remember what this was about?” you groan getting tired as he shuts his mouth abruptly staring at you. There was something in your face that showed him it was not you just getting tired.

Something was bothering you.

“What is it?” he asked, his voice suddenly becoming gentle and you sighed muttering a 'nothing'. The truth is you hated fights, you don't want them to happen with somebody you love.

“It is something,” he continues after a short pause and you nod your head to a ‘no’. You just felt relieved that he has stopped fighting and it is better.

“So what, this was your excuse for stopping me?” Seokmin mutters, feeling angry again and you panic. That will be the last thing you want.

“No, Seok, okay listen,” you speak hurriedly as he sighs and sits down on the couch. “I hate fights, I always think they are the cause of problems,” you say after a minute as he looks up at you.

“I know my parents are a good couple but when they used to fight, I always thought they would get divorced or something bad would happen, I feel like fights ruin relationships,” you finish resting your head on the cushion.

“That is a very wrong idea,” Seokmin speaks up after sinking in your words. “Occasionally, people fight, even if they love each other, it can never destroy a relationship. Provided, it is occasional, or rare. People will disagree, your parents will too and we will too. That doesn’t mean they would stop loving each other, or I would stop loving you. Fights, rare ones, are symbols of a healthy relationship,” he says, looking at you.

You nod slowly, taking in his words, you have never considered this perspective, always being too afraid of everything in a fight and neither have you confessed about this to anybody. “You are right,” you reply after a minute.

He shrugged replying, “Of course I am, you are dating this very insightful person who has the best intellectuals,” he smirks and you deadpan, “Don’t push your luck.”

“Okay,” he grinned as you felt relieved suddenly everything was off your chest and you felt better.

“I know you feel better right now but a kiss on my lips would make it best,” Seokmin said, puckering his lips as you rolled your eyes and pecked him lightly. He smiles like an idiot as you laugh. He is your idiot.

ꔫㅤㅤ ❜ [ ara's notes ] ㅤ⋆ ㅤmy first svt fic i hope it is good, i will defo write better 😭😭 ꔫㅤㅤ ❜ [ taglist ] ㅤ⋆ ㅤ@haneagerr @jeonghanfr ㅤmain mlistㅤ svt mlistㅤ navi ㅤ add to taglist