#''It's just a way to let people know about your product'' maybe 100 years ago idk. but today it's so much more. a giant monster

[bluastro-yellow]

I want the marketing and advertisement industry to explode now

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Ok a rant about Cerri bomb and how much I HATE her

In the addict music video she was a very supportive friend of Angel and I loved her in the pilot! I wish we got that supportive best friend to Angel in the final product, but unfortunately she is a woman in a vivziepop show.

She’s AWFUL now I can’t stand her, the way she tried to make Angel relapse was so weird like pilot cherri wouldn’t do that! I also really dislike her design it has to be one of my personal least favourites (not the bottom though nothing is worse than alastors design to me) she isn’t enjoyable to watch anymore she had potential if she’d only been introduced earlier! Imagine if she was introduced in episode 4 and played the supportive friend she was originally supposed to be!

And GOD I hate her ship with pentious, it was SO RUSHED, so poorly done and the ship isn’t very “so cute and in love!!” When you remember she showed literally NO interest in him until Angel brought up that he has 2 dicks, and this is supposed to be a romantic relationship we CARE about.

Cherri didn’t need a romantic relationship she needed CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT we needed to get to know her! If you’ve only seen the show and no other Hazbin media at all (which shouldn’t be required you should be able to get all your info FROM THE SHOW) you’d barely know anything about her character or who she is. I wish we got pilot cherri bomb, and that she got a design update, and that her and pent’s relationship was either taken slower or didn’t happen at all

You silly little creature you, you have me writing in my notes app instead of Tumblr because I’m about to go crazy!

Cherri Bomb. More like Cherri what the hell happened

Anyway I’m gonna tackle this one thing at a time, and also forgive me if I word something weird I just woke up an hour ago at the time of writing this.

First thing, design: I personally quite like her design since it very loosely reminds me of Iris from Ruby Gloom with ofc the one eye, the very rowdy personality and kind of the hair, but those are very broad design choices and its just me remembering some random girl I thought was silly but like Iris did it better.

Okay now second thing and then we go into literally everything else: My blog has been an angry pit of despair for everything in Episode 6 as of recent so let’s tap into that again 🤏 just a little. I am going to give my classic centrist opinion and say I don’t mind Cherri Bomb all that much but I absolutely get why people dislike her, and I mean this in the kinda way as people who dislike… Idk Fukuchi from BSD. WILD jump in fandoms but gimme a second. I can’t 100% say that Cherri Bomb in the pilot was better than the series since we have no idea if maybe for some reason she was intended to be like that offscreen, but judging by the pilot and “Addict” alone, it’s very unlikely. I could see her maybe being a bad influence at times and being like “Loosen up dude we’re in hell and its Friday” or something (idk if they have Friday in hell but everyday is probably Monday 🥁) but overall I feel like she’d end up apologising for it. However on the other side of things, I can understand why Cherri did that in Episode 6. Of course not to say this is okay, but Cherri is still very clearly not in the “redemption” mindset. She’s happy the way she is and is really only focused on certain aspects of issues. We see her comfort Angel in “Addict” but thats basically the extent of it. Cherri’s definition of “self-care” seems to be less of actually taking care of yourself and more like just letting go and having fun instead which really only gives a momentary fix to the issue, much like how substances can be abused. Do you kinda see what im getting at? Cherri offering Angel drugs while he’s trying not to relapse is not okay, full stop. But her reasoning as to why makes a bit of sense for her purpose in the show which is honestly not much, since, as you said, she is a woman in a Vivziepop show.

To my knowledge Cherri is like 30-ish years younger than Angel Dust in Hell experience so she’s likely not reached a point where she’s gotten tired of how things work, as well as the fact we don’t really have much of an idea on her backstory aside from that random shot in “Addict” of that guy in a puddle??? But generally she seems to be in a better position than Angel is, so there isn’t really any reason for her to want to change, yknow? I will say I do like exploring characters that are good friends while still being bad influences at times, but I’m going to be honest I feel like thats really not what Angel needs right now. I wouldn’t be as pissy about it if she did end up apologising afterwards (I’m just gonna headcanon she did for my sanity) but even then as Angel’s friend we don’t know like… anything about her. I would’ve really liked to get some kind of callback to the pilot where Cherri mentions she thought Angel was dead until the random Sir Pentious turf war, and maybe we could see her actually being worried about Angel again instead of those 3 frames in “Addict”, but Hazbin is rushed and I guess we don’t have time for that. And also YES it would’ve been great to see her in Episode 4 and actually doing something but again, Vivziepop is boring.

Going forward I would really like to see Cherri, if not become a patron, at least try to be a better friend and sure if she wants to keep doing stuff she can keep doing it, but just don’t encourage other people to relapse. It is very simple.

SIR PENTIOUS! About Sir Pentious, this is going to be incredibly short. I don’t hate the ship but also I’m not really crazy about any of the Hazbin Hotel ships? I also don’t really hate any except for the genuinely horrid ones but thats basic sense. I absolutely agree with you, Cherri does not need a romantic interest. Romance doesn’t always = growth and growth should not always = romance. She needs some genuine character TLC and I hope to god she gets some in season 2. We’ve only seen a few minutes of her so I have yet to give a firm opinion, but as of now I’m just hoping they do something actually interesting with her instead of just alluding to Sir Pentious ship. Also the penis thing. 1. What was that, and 2. It made me and my friends briefly pause to sex Sir Pentious and come to the conclusion he is likely transgender/hj

TLDR; Please give us a fun Cherri Bomb again. ☹️

[ramayantika]

Hi samridhi! I um don't know if you remember me? I send you an ask a few months ago. Im fortune cookie anon. I was preparing for neet too. I took 2 drops and now im in a private medical college. My parents are trying to make ends meet there's a considerable amount to be paid even after the scholarship i get and we've applied for the loans too. My mom too worries as I'm not passing my classes cus it's new and hard and that I'll lose my scholarship if i fail. I said all this because there will always be a thing to be worried about, it doesn't matter if you pass one hurdle. Life is a long struggle and you don't get a break. I feel the fear and disappointment you have in yourself and what scares you more is how failing again would affect your parents and I'm so sorry the burden you carry is very heavy. I don't know how to console you because you helped me when i was at my lowest. I hope you remember that the Little dances and fanfics you do is the time when you live your life, it may not be all comforting and have no productive outcome, but it keeps your essence in your own self, it does not let you hate yourself completely. I will not tell you to not stress about results or that it's okay if you failed (even if it's 100% okay) because it invalidates your fear. Im sorry if I don't make sense but i want to hug you so tight and tell you I'm proud of you for trying and so are your parents. I'm so proud of you for taking it as your responsibility for doing hardwork not just for yourself but also for your parents. And believe me even if you fail, your parents won't hate you for it. Maybe there will be a little resentment (maybe not even) but it will not make them love you any less or proves that you're a failure or you don't deserve this. I hope the best for you and i know taht you'll be on the other side by next year and you'll have a readymade senior friend. All the best!❤️ I'm sorry if I said anything wrong i just wanted to tell you that i see you and i feel you.

Omg hi cookie!! How have you been. I remember you, you had sent that ask. Medical is hard I hope you start getting better results soon. The stress will be less then for a while.

Thank you for sending me this in the ask. I love it when in some way I am able to help people, be it through art or anything. I don't think I have helped anyone through my art until now but maybe in the future but in some manner I have helped you, I am glad

But yes I do agree that life is one never ending struggle. Who knows in the next two months I will be excitedly shitposting on tumblr that hey i made it to college and getting a xyz dance event too!

That's a sweet lil daydream but okay we need that too. I sincerely hope that everything goes well for you financially as well as academically.

Have a nice day, cookie 😇✨✨✨💕

[mistyeyedbandit]

I should stop. I told everyone that I’ve stopped so maybe it’s time to live that truth.

But I only said that because I’m tired of being counseled, being patronized and chastised like a child. I know what your advice will be, I know how you feel. I know this is not healthy or productive or smart, but I don’t know how to do this and neither do you, really. So stop telling me how you would do it.

Everyone has had feelings before, a crush at least, but me? I’m an infant learning to walk after I’ve already participated in 100 fucking races. I know how to do sex, I know how to fuck someone to make the urge go away, then block them because I want nothing to do with them and they want nothing to do with me. But this? I don’t even know what this is.

He’s not right for me. I’m not right for him. I couldn’t be there for him if I wanted to be. I’m anxious, I have attatchment issues, I’m mean and sarcastic, I go to frat parties every weekend and drink my body weight in pink whitney because I’m a freshman in college and my social life comes second only to school and I don’t think there’s even space for him in that hierarchy. I hate other peoples’ actions being responsible for my emotions more than I hate the British Museum, I’m easily irritable, I forget to take my atidepressants and the mood swings that causes are insane, and I need constant reassurance because I can’t read social cues. On the other hand, he smokes, which is something I hate, he’s bad at texting, and he leaves town almost every weekend for his shows, which is the only time I have free to see him. His priorities are work then work in that order and I could never fit in there, he lives an hour from my college, but without my own car it’s basically long distance for me, and he comes with so much baggage that I would have to have to pay to check it in and then pay extra because it’s so heavy it violates OSHA which is not something I’m sure someone who was put on a 50150 hold less than a year ago can handle because I also have my own.

And yet…

And yet, I can’t release him no matter how hard I try. I feel like I’ve never had fingers before and now that I do I don’t know what to do with them. I finally figured out how wrap them around something to hold on. Now how do i make them unclench? Why can’t i control my own hands?

I should stop. But for the first time I understand what it is to have butterflies chasing their way up my throat and trying to escape in a flurry of “You’re so cute” and “Can we cuddle please,” and “I like you,”. I know what people mean when they say that safety and trust leads to unbearable fondness. I know how to want something in a manner which I have never once wanted anything before. It’s the sweetest feeling I have ever felt, tender and delicate and soft, where I am used to being blunt and heedless in my day to day life. It leaves a cloying film over my teeth and tongue but the most buzzy honeyed sensation in my brain like I’ve just had two cups of hot mulled cider.

And like any positive feedback loop, more leads to more, not less. The more I think about him the warmer I become, the more soft-hearted. And how am I supposed to stop when with every passing second, I become increasingly enamored. When i can’t even stop thinking about him, am I just supposed to stop talking to him?

So I went and lied to everyone I love, because I can’t handle being told to let go again and again when I don’t know how.

[whyzzcrackuh]

Visualize. The first step..Or at least "A step" towards a new direction:

Rumor and logistics have convinced and perhaps guided me here..

I know I am "different"...

My story is something I believe will help me through trauma by helping others, and, maybe, achieve a life I want and visualize for myself! One less painful, and more productive! I have a vision, a dream and a journey that I believe is far from over! Honestly, It's as if I've been reborn! I have doubts I am even alive, lol. Because a year ago, Death was so close to my existence I could see him around every corner. Now, I believe With the help from others to guide me in directions with ideas and inspiration information and feedback, This can and will in turn me someone who helps others and someone to be proud of! I got a spark inside me! Without the correct knowledge on a way to ignite this fire,though, I won't ever know my purpose. I need the guidance and support and if my gut is right, I know I will get the life I want! Then I can return benevolence the way I KNOW Is what I'm here for! But I know I can't do it alone! honestly, WHO CAN EVER SUCCEED with true purpose completely alone!? .... no one! That's why life hasn't been easy at all. I was alone. Here is a story 100% true, and though I fear speaking it....and reliving moments that I fear most... I'm being directed by something much bigger to allow the world to know who I am. The truth shall set me free! Perhaps, I am no one of importance at all. There is ALWAYS that ONE chance however, most people, regret not taking. With all the risks throughout my journey that should've killed me!

I stand here alive and able to tell! Some of the most famous and inspirational influential people in history, all became important and valuable messages resided for us through their story...

Here is mine..

"I wish, I will, I manifest this tale, of truth and honesty to be the gift that helps me through and leads to success since the spirits promised me, The knowledge I have and the pain inflicted was only for the guidance of other lost and I was gifted, a blessing and curse to let others see, through all the pain and sorrows' darkness, I held a light that could set them free! I've chosen to speak, No selfish intent I will succeed, this is not just only for me, Once you understand I promise my future is We, come forth and read, this is destiny ! Mote it be! " My name is Rebel for the last 5 years. by birth I am Keli Walls.

Let me ask you, the memories in your life, as far back as the very first one, what is your very first memory being alive ? How old were you? Do you recall the sounds, the colors? The smells?

Who was there? Were you happy? What emotion were you feeling? I'd love to hear your stories!! I wonder often if it is only myself who knows what it feels like to recall only days after birth, most people say around age 5 and older. Some don't even remember much. I'm wondering if mine is but a dream, yet I asked my mother and her reaction said otherwise. Trusting her is not something I can say I do though.

Please leave a message or comment about your own memories!

I recall some very few days after birth (from what I have heard was when this event occurred) awakening, opening my eyes for what seemed to me as the first time, being inside a bubble! Throughout the years of experiencing life The bubble was an incubator inside the hospital. Of course, I am able to explain with knowledge what I was experiencing, at the time I recall the feeling of confusion without knowing what confusion even was. A since of unknown and unfamiliar surroundings. The white reflection of lab coats appearing through the bubble , the smell of air and alcohol fumes from sterilization of hospitals chemicals. Seeing my father peer into the bubble briefly, only knowing a familiar awareness and sound of his voice. Once the pressure released around me, my memory supresses and I recall a memory five years later I'm told. At a river, sunny and warm. Being told my sister is being baptized!! After her dunking, and everyone is no longer focused on the kids swimming, My two sisters encourage me to join them in the water! Taking my clothes off and leaving me nude and exposed to the sun. They called to me alongside their other friends , to the middle of the moving river. I began to excitedly move quickly toward them! As they splash and giggle Ensuring me I am ok to join them! I suddenly go under water unable to touch the ground and be above water breathing! Panicking and frantically wiggling in confusion, my body quits being able to move and my eyes begin seeing the bright warm light I assumed was the sun , from cold to warm and a sudden sensation of chill, as I am pulled from the water by my mother! As I gasp for air I see my sisters each with a crooked smile of disappointment and unaffected by the scolding disappointment and known troublesome, obviously mother very upset! Playing stupid it seemed. The beginning of many evil plots against me. I understand mom left them for years and had me during that time! Revenge and jealousy overtook them. I know in my heart they wanted me dead that day. Every ounce of my being KNOWS the truth. They never liked me. 33 years later they refuse to even acknowledge if I'm dead or alive! I've reached out many times! Begging for forgiveness and for them to be real sisters to me like they are each other! But nope. I made mistakes unforgivable I guess! They are always there for themselves and only speak bad of my habits and life and hate our mom, I don't speak to her either! She is evil. I hate who I was. If I had one person of family who gave me a chance, I probably wouldn't have ended up near the person I was! I had no one. From 15 years old. I raised me. Why the hell shouldn't I have made every wrong choice? No 15 year old has any idea of responsibility and right decisions! I never had a chance. I pray I am now on a better path. Relearning how to live better than I have. I'm beyond an adult and embarrassed of what I became! Anyways....*sigh

During my 33 years of life, Goals and positive thoughts are only fictional beliefs in what has seemed to be a life long dream! Sure, I honestly have thought MANY times before that my ideas and aspirations were easily obtainable! I would put out a little effort, search around for any assistance or advice, only to hear my own souls' broken pieces echo into the distance. My first years of life, despite the unknowing situations of attempted murder I was too young to fully comprehend at the time. My life was full of memories where I recall what love and happiness actually felt like! Places of warmth, welcoming embrace and family was just as if it were a movie. Parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and other relatives added in along the way. Holidays were always filled with joy and belief that life was not ever going to steer into a direction of darkness. The little girl from childhood believed her family would always be there! She believed she was loved, No matter what mistakes one made, Family has unconditional love and is to teach one who makes a mistake a correct way, allowing me to understand why the situation was "bad" or not the right way! Once my parents went separate ways, I guess you could say that was my first hard hitting reality check! My first honest bit of pure heart break and true heart ache! During the final days of my childhood comfort, where my family was still whole, slowly, the reoccurring mental domestic abuse between my parents was creating a whirlwind of emotions inside my heart that I didn't even know existed! I recall sitting atop the dryer or washer to drown out the screaming match! Sitting so still, neither Mom or Dad knew I was there. Hearing my name being thrown into their chaos, I began to blame myself for their developed hatred for one another! My Dad always knew the right way to comfort me. Leaving our conversations open ended and viewing neither parent as the enemy! ......

but, my mother however, installed a type of fear and downloaded a file inside my soul that will forever be triggered in situations I am still attempting to figure out. She engraved a sinister habit that at the time was forced. Her and I were alone and she would tell me how bad my father is, how much he is a liar. He could never love me the way she does! And I am going to have a time soon where I must chose where I want to be when they get their own places! she would promise me, she wouldn't tell him anything I let her know. She said I didn't need to hate him, but I would be lied to and left behind or with some other person while he went with my uncle to work, but she would say work in a way that was snide, expressing work was in fact fishing and drinking to cry to his mommy. But we can't tell him we know the truth about where he goes! Or else he never will learn what punishment is coming for him! Because it's wrong to lie to us right? She'd say. Truth is, my mother terrified me! But when I was sick, she knew how to comfort me. She would let me sneak into their room and sleep, meanwhile my dad would catch me and be very angry! The leverage my mother used to turn my brain into a slow developed monster.

... I am curious if anyone made it this far? If so... would you continue reading? Is this a story that catches your attention? I need feed back good or bad! This is a rough draft of history in the making. I hope. Blessings to my readers.

[dzpenumbra]

I'm censoring my thoughts again, I've noticed. It's been a while. I was going to write about something else but I deleted it from my own journal. It's pretty raw, unresolved stuff from the past two days, so it makes sense. I just don't like hiding things from view, it defeats the point of all this.

Having my parents pay my rent while I try to pursue a failing art/writing/streaming career is just really embarassing to type out. I didn't mind it in college, but that was many moons ago. It has fucked up a lot of my self esteem, my confidence, you name it. I feel like I'm clinging on to a pipe dream, a fantasy - which I happen to have a worthless BA in. That I'm clearly not talented enough to be successful, this career just isn't happening, I just haven't caught on yet. I fear that one day they're just gonna get sick of this and cut it off, and that will be the day I kiss my creativity goodbye. My soul goodbye. It's happened before, when I got into my first live-in relationship and I took it SUPER serious. I made getting my shit straight a full-time job, and creativity just disappeared. It almost killed me, it took a physical toll on my body, not to mention how much it fucked up my identity, my sense of self, my picture of who I even am. I don't ever want to go back to that, let alone of my own choosing.

I keep trying to communicate this version of myself that I'm trying to preserve and enhance to my Mom, the way I did with other people in support roles. I display full work days working on multiple pieces in multiple mediums. I show a project list with 10 big projects on it. I show streaming to have a social/publicity element. I show putting one of the several book ideas I've had into a finished product and getting it on shelves. I show this detailed image of the life I hope to live, that I'm already living minus the customers. Their reaction is to tell me to just get a job in a related field, and meet people through that. Like... to give 8 hours of my work day to doing work on other peoples' stuff, time I could be spending in the studio. Then I can use that job to meet people who might give a shit about my work. It's hard to not read that as "I'm not a fan, I don' t know anyone who would have any interest in your shit, but maybe if you just work somewhere someone there might give a shit."

I don't know. I'm not against it, I could enjoy myself doing a wide array of jobs that aren't even directly art related. Archaeologist, work in a curiosity shop, or game shop, or an antique store. I just freak out about losing time. I've already lost so much, I constantly feel hopelessly behind because of years and years lost to stupid doctors and stupid misdiagnoses, and my own stupid anxiety complexes. Ugh. So every piece I finish, I feel like I need 100 more to even make a dent. Perpetually playing catch-up.

So yeah, that sucks a whole lot. And I tug this ball and chain around everywhere I go. And it's kinda relieving to say it out loud. Still feels very shameful. Probably all the loss attached to it. Idk.

I don't want to upset anyone. I just want to make my art and my music, my writing and my stories. That's all. I don't want to give it up. I just want to make it work. I made a lot of sacrifices to get to this point, I don't want to give up now. If all it takes to be a self-sustaining professional is time invested and hard work, I'll do whatever it takes. I don't give a fuck if it's just living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life and never owning a house or whatever. At least I don't let my soul die, just to keep my body alive. Again.

Sorry for the grumpiness, I'm just very tired of carrying this burden. All I want is for ONE of my list of ideas to start a chain reaction. That's all. Then I can finally proudly, confidently introduce myself to people. Until then, it will continue to be shame.

🌘Night night 🌒

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Omg I love all your drabbles they are so amazing and brilliant I can’t believe you do that for free! What a blessing you are!! I was wondering whether there would be a part four to the vacation au and if not could you do maybe more jealous Cassian but in your lawyer au I’m obsessed but honestly anything you write has me happy!

This is so sweet I am so glad you’re loving the drabbles! I did a second part to the vacation AU a couple days ago so I’m going to go with Jealous Cassian in the lawyer AU. I already *kind* of did this but I’ve been doing jealousy light lately and this time we are cranking it up to 100. This one is kinda long and pretty angsty and I think I definitely need to smoosh all these lawyer drabbles into a mini story that follows Nessian from meeting while studying for the bar exam and then through snippets of their careers so maybe that’s what I’ll do next.

Actually facing Nesta in court was an extreme rarity. All of her non pro Bono work was strictly solicitor. Drafting contracts and negotiating deals in different chic board rooms with little glass bottles of Perrier and complimentary latte carts trolling the halls.

Nesta thought that she didn’t want to litigate. She thought that people didn’t like her and because of that she was a bad advocate. She couldn’t have been more wrong.

Watching Nesta fight for something that she believed in, truly believed in, was the closest thing to a religious experience Cassian had ever known.

“And I would urge you to consider in your decision, your honour, the fact that even if it should apply in this case, the very law my learned friend is attempting to uphold is currently under review by the Supreme Court and may soon be overturned on the basis of being unconstitutional as well as unconscionable.” Nesta took a pregnant pause.

“If that happens. If this law is overturned, as you well know, it will not be retroactively helpful to my client. My client who was born here. My client who grew up in Queens. My client who can draw you a map of which bodegas has the best coffee vs the best sandwiches and their proximity to the nearest train, and if that doesn’t qualify her as an American, and a New Yorker, then I don’t know what does.” The judge smiled a little at that. It was a calculated risk, the emotional appeal. But Judge Miluski was already on Nesta’s side and she was a born and bread New Yorker and she had the rare distinction of being a member of the judiciary with a sense of humour. “If this law is overturned, which we both know is highly likely, then my client will be sent to another country, a country she has never even been to, not because she did anything wrong, but because this trial happened a few weeks too-”

Nesta trailed off, eyes caught at the quietly opening gallery door. A man stepped in. Tall and thin and… greasy. Hair slicked back with so much product Cassian didn’t think he’d feel it if he hit him on the head with a hammer. Which he desperately wanted to do. That brutish, violent, raised in foster homes in Harlem side of him that even a legal education and a closet full of Armani suits could never quite polish out of him lit on fire at the sight of this creep. This asshole who was wearing fucking asics with his $4000 suit. And no tie. Top three buttons of a pinstripe white shirt unbuttoned. What a fucking rube.

Except that this guy. THIS fucking guy, made Nesta lose her train of thought. This guy who walked into court late and had yet to drag his eyes up from Nesta’s ass, had distracted her. Caused her to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and smile a little. This shy, light, cutesy little smile that absolutely did not belong on Nesta Archeron’s face.

When Nesta smiled it was a sly, knowing, victorious thing that curled across her lips and set Cassian’s heart hammering in his chest.

This… this was insanity.

The man smirked, deep and arrogant, as he stood at the back of the courtroom, hands slid into his pockets. Not even respectful enough of the proceedings to sit down.

Nesta gathered herself quickly. The whole mess over in under 20 seconds, but Cassian noticed it. Even as Nesta went on and cited the law and the competing jurisprudence and the ethics and the constitution, he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was that little smile.

Cassian said his final piece, the judge ruled, as they both knew she would, in Nesta’s favor, and it was all over.

Nesta didn’t even gloat like she usually would have. She just stuck her hand out, the absolute picture of professionalism, and shook his.

“Good working with you, Counseler.” She said, as if he hadn’t pulled her around the side of a building and pushed her body up against a brick wall the other day, moulding her into him as they fought over this case. Discussed their future. Their passions.

She’d rejected his invitation to dinner, but she always did. It was a part of the game. A game that Cassian was determined to win.

“Who’s the tech bro?” The sneakers with the suit and the unbuttoned shirt and the general shitty attitude all pointed to that being the only reasonable profession.

“Babe,” the slimy man in question pushed past the swinging waist high half door that separated the gallery and the space where counsel’s desks sat. “Let’s go.” He wrapped and arm too tightly around Nesta’s waist and pulled on her a little.

Cassian curled his fists into his palms so hard his nails bit imprints into the skin of his palms. Babe? Telling her when to leave? The pulling? No.

“I’m Cassian.” He held out his hand. “ADA. What firm do you work for? Haven’t seen you around.”

“Tomas.” The man scoffed, “And I’m not a lawyer. Not interested in all that gibberish you’re type is always spewing. Sounds like pure nonsense to me. I’m a tech investor.”

Yeah. That sounded about right. No actual skills. Not an engineer or developer or even a business manager. Just an idiot with a trust fund throwing money at whatever looked cool.

“Well, Tomas. Do you know why they call that big exam full of all that gibberish you hate the bar exam?” The weasel just raised his eyebrows. “It’s because once you pass it, then you are an attorney. And allowed to cross past this BAR.” Cassian pushed Tomas back out the little half door again. “Which separates the civilians in the gallery from the lawyers making their cases. So maybe learn how to show a little respect.” Cassian scoffed, flicking his eyes to Nesta, “In a few different areas of your life.”

“What the fuck, bro?” Tomas rolled his eyes. “This is why I fucking hate going to your lawyer parties and shit. Jackasses like this.”

“Tomas, please.” Nesta placed a hand on his chest, Cassian tensed, and that seemed to calm Tomas down. Not Nesta’s touch, but another man’s jealousy.

“Why don’t you bring the car around. I have to work out a court date for another matter with Cassian but I’ll be right out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Tomas glared, keeping eye contact with Cassian as he kissed Nesta’s cheek, hand travelling too far down her back. “Hurry though.”

“Of course.” Nesta smiled that same tiny little smile that made her look like a doll on a shelf and Cassian wanted to scream.

“What the fuck are you doing with a piece of shit like that?” Cassian minced no words as he turned to face Nesta.

“Excuse me?”

“Pretty straight forward question, Nes.”

“You… you don’t know him. He’s not like that once you get to know him.”

“Sure he’s not,” Cassian scoffed.

“What is your problem?”

“My problem is that your boyfriend, who I’ve never heard of or seen before today despite knowing you for years, had a chance to see you in court. Had a chance to watch you all fired up and passionate and brilliant and instead he walked in late, stared at your ass instead of listening to what you were saying, and then shoved his way up here and pulled at you to leave like you were some kind of toy he didn’t mind tearing the arm off of.”

Nesta blinked. Huffed out a breath. “We’ve been on again off again for a while. That’s why you haven’t seen him before. And he just doesn’t like lawyer stuff that’s why he’s like that in here ok? Not that it’s any of your business.”

“So you’re dating someone who not only doesn’t recognize how brilliant you are but won’t even let you talk about your job?” That was wrong. That was so wrong. That was… why Nesta was so intense with him. Why she debated and fought and talked for hours. Because she couldnt do it at home.

“Why do you even care, Cassian? Let’s just set a date and-”

“Fuck you, Nesta.” Her jaw fell open. “Fuck you for even asking me that. You know why I care. You can’t play dumb with me like I assume you do with him.”

“You don’t know anything about my relationship!” Nesta defended a little too vehemently.

“I know you can’t yell at him about his take on immigration laws,” Cassian stepped closer to her. “I know you can’t get a little tipsy off your favorite Malbec and go on a rambling tirade about the corrupt judiciary and your twenty three- or twenty five depending on the night- reasons why voting for judges completely undermines the integrity of the legal system.”

The was almost no space between them as Cassian looked down, gently set his hand under Nesta’s chin and raised her gaze to meet his. Burning with anger and passion and barely concealed desire. “I know that he didn’t understand why you were crying when RBG died. Because he doesn’t care about how appointing Supreme Court judges works or what that meant for the future of the court. And because I know that you weren’t with him that night. You were with me. Just like election night in 2016. And the Kavanaugh trials. And when the travel ban came into effect. You found me. Because I get it, and I care about your thoughts on all of those things. I’m devastated by them too. You were with me, Nes. And don’t you dare pretend that doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does,” Nesta let her cheek sink into his palm. “It means everything Cassian, but…”

“But we fight,” he smiled. “We bicker and yell and cross ideologies and disagree on all the little things. But not the big things, Nes. Never on the big things. We disagree on how to change the world, not what we want to change in it. Isn’t that what matters?”

Nesta swallowed. “I can’t risk losing you.” She said quietly. “I need you. For all of those reasons, I need you to be in my life and if we… I hurt the people I love, Cassian. So if I let myself love you, I would only hurt you. And I can’t bear the thought of hurting you.”

“So you date him.” Realization was an arrow sailing into Cassian’s chest. “Because you won’t hurt him. Because you could never actually love him.”

Nesta swallowed. “See? See how awful I am?”

Cassian moved his hand to her back, pulled her into his chest. “Go,” he whispered. “Go do whatever you need to do. I’ll be here. And I’ll be waiting for you to realize that I’m not going anywhere. That I can take it. Whatever you want to throw at me, I can take it, Nes.”

[rebeccccccaaa]

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ɴᴇʀᴅ ⓟⓐⓡⓣ ②

_________________________

ғʀᴀᴛʙᴏʏ!ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x sʜʏ-ɪsʜ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀᴜ (ɪɴᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇᴅ ɪ ɢᴜᴇss)

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: (two part series!) You’re starting to struggle in class and decide to ask your professor for some tutoring or extra classes to boost your  grade. He ends up assigning the last person you’d expect to tutor you. (is it really a surprise though?)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: cw: talking about a car accident and infertility

smut 18+  (praise kink, dirty talk, oral fem receiving, hair pulling, marking, choking, slight spanking if you squint, slight bondage), major aftercare, fluff? This is pretty filthy lmao. 

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 𝟺.𝟹 ᴋ (ɪ ᴀᴍ sᴏᴏᴏᴏᴏ sᴏʀʀʏ ᴛʜɪs ɪs sᴏᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ!)

ᴀ/ɴ: Thank you so much for all the love in the last part! I was truly expecting maybe about 20 likes but so far its gotten over 100! Thank you for being so nice to me on my first ever post and hope you enjoy part 2!

__________________________

For the next two or so weeks you avoid Bucky like the bubonic plague. You didn’t exactly hate the fact that he kissed, but he was your tutor. Isn’t that inappropriate? Let alone him being a part of a frat house. It wouldn’t be a good mix.

One good thing though is that your overall grade in class has gone up since your tutor sessions with Bucky so at least it wasn’t for nothing. He’s tried to talk to you in class a couple times when you didn't go to him but ended up giving up when you began showing up right when class started or going out of your way to even go near him. 

Again, you didn’t hate him; hell you weren’t mad anymore, but you still avoided at all costs. It’s totally not because you're scared you’ll actually fall for him. How could someone like Bucky even look your way? Maybe he just wanted to get into your pants like all the boys in the house.

You didn’t tell Natasha that Bucky kissed but she could definitely tell that something was up. You were usually at Bucky’s frat house on weekdays but you’ve been canceling sessions every night since the incident. 

One night you were studying alone in your apartment and Natasha was pacing around on her phone. She was dressed to go to a frat party tonight but it seems maybe her ride isn’t available. You wonder why she can’t herself when she has a car.

“Hey Y/n,” Nat crept up to you.

“Yes,” you drew out.

“Would maybe, possibly, perhaps, might be able to be my DD?” she asked.

“Your what?”

“My designated driver. Wanda has a family emergency; her and her brother flew out like an hour ago and I haven’t been able to find anyone to pick me up.”

“I can drop you off and pick you up,” you offered. You’d rather stay up late in case she wants to come home than stay at the party all night, especially if she finds another bed to stay in till morning. 

“I mean you could do that but would it be more fun to actually party for once. Come on babe you’re too uptight, you need to have fun especially with how hard you’re working in school right now.”

“Nat, you know that’s not my scene.”

“Just stay with me. Or Bucky I’m sure he wouldn’t mind hanging with you tonight,” she suggestively, bringing confusion to your face.

“Huh?”

“Oh nothing Just come with me please? If it gets too much text me and I’ll let you know if I need a ride back home.”

“Actually?” you asked.

“Pinky promise.”

“Ok give me like 5 mins.”

You ran to your  room and picked out an outfit you felt sexy but comfortable in; I mean if you were going to inevitably run into Bucky at this party might as well look presentable right? When you came out ready, Nat whistled, hyping you up and felt your face heat up a bit. 

“Stop, let’s just go,” you averted.

You arrived at the house music booming from down the street. People outside drinking from red solo cups, cars already picking up drunks and dropping people off to get said drunk. You hastily parked the car and Nat grabbed your hand and pulled you close as you guys walked to the party. You weren’t going to lie, you were really nervous.

You heard stories about these parties but you were trying to convince yourself that they may be exaggerated somewhat but still didn’t do much for your nerves. When you walked you eyes almost immediately locked with Bucky’s. To say he was shocked to see you at a frat party was for sure an understatement.

Bucky began to move through the crowd to meet up with you but when he got to the entrance it was like you disappeared. Disappointed, he returned to the mini bar where the drinks were all held, where Steve served the drinks. Asked for a beer.

“How’s it going, man?” Steve asked.

“She’s here.”

“Nat? I really think there's something between us. I’m thinking about asking her on a proper date you know?”

“Really? That’s awesome, but I’m talking ‘bout Y/n,” Bucky clarified.

“What? I thought she hated parties.” 

“I did too.”

As if on queue, you tapped Bucky on the shoulder.

“Hi.”

“Hey, what on earth are you doing here?”

“Nat needed a designated driver and Wanda and her brother are out of town.”

“Yeah Pietro lives here in the house, Steve drove him and Wanda to the airport a couple hours ago.”

You nodded your head and things got awkward again, but then again what’s new with that.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“I can’t drink.”

“Oh right. Do we have soda?”

“We coke for the rum but you can take a can.”

“Thanks Steve,” you took a can of coke from him. 

You and Bucky and Steve all held wholesome conversation for a little  bit then Nat came and whisked him away. Bucky was put on bar duty from then on and you decided to keep him company until Nat was ready to go home. But so far from the way Steve and her were dancing together you didn’t think Nat was gonna wanna go home.

You asked Bucky how long Steve and Nat have had their little thing and apparently it’s been going on for awhile. You had sneaking suspicion that they were together in some way but since Nat never brought it up you didn’t want to bug her. It was pretty easy to figure out though considering she didn’t come home some nights.

They’re good together though and you hope they make it official soon.

Talking to Bucky, you felt a hand brush against but when you looked no one was there. You figured it was just getting crowded. After a couple of hours you decided to text Nat to see where she was. When she didn’t respond, you took it upon yourself to call her.

“Nat where did you go?”

“I'm in the car,” she slurred.

“What! You can’t be driving! How did you even get the keys?” you yelled.

“I snatched them from you when you and Bucky were flirting with each other. Steve couldn’t  find his keys so I took yours,” she shouted into the phone.

“When did you- whatever, is he sober?” you asked.

“Yeah and I am not even that dru-,” she hiccuped. 

“Nat…” you warned. 

“Steve is my boyfriend and we’re clean. I’ll be safe; it’s not like I can have kids anyway.”

“Nat.” When you moved in together at the beginning of the year, you noticed one time her grabbing her lower stomach in discomfort and offered her any products for her period. She told you she doesn’t get one and being the dumbass you are you asked why. She told you when she was a teenager she got into a car accident that caused extreme internal bleeding causing Nat to become infertle. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that,” you apologized.

“It’s ok babe. If anything you be safe.”

“She can’t see you, babygirl,” you heard Steve say and laughed out loud.

“Oh! I’m winking!” she shouted.

“Oh my god. Whatever,” you rolled your eyes.

“Anyways buh-bye, girly!” she hung up the phone.

“What happened?” Bucky came up behind you. You looked over at the bar and saw Bruce bar-keeping.

“Nat took the fucking car with Steve.”

“Why didn’t he use my car?”

“She said he couldn’t find the keys and I guess it was easier to just steal from me when I wasn’t looking.”

“Wow, ok. Stealth much?”

“Right? She’s like a Russian spy,” you laughed.

“Well, you probably need a ride then,” Bucky brought up.

“I don’t know if I wanna go home knowing Steve is probably gonna be railing her into the next dimension.”

“Yeah, you can spend the night here. I can sleep on the floor.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah it’s not a problem. We probably have an air mattress hiding somewhere.”

“Thanks Buck. well since I’m not going anywhere I guess I could have a drink now.”

“What’ll it be?”

You drank a couple beers feeling the alcohol beginning to flow effortlessly through your veins. The music was still booming through the house and you found yourself getting lost to the rhythm. You made your way to where everyone was also dancing and let the music guide your body sensually. 

You didn’t notice it yet but Bucky was staring completely in love with the way you were moving. He’d never seen you in this kind of environment and definitely not in the clothing you were wearing. You looked truly sexy even more so dancing the way you were dancing; like you had control over everything in the world.

You soon felt a pair of hands circle around to your waist instantly knowing who they belong to. Bucky moved his hips snug against your backside perfectly fitting with you. You let your head lean back feeling Bucky breathe against your neck.  

“You driving me crazy, doll,” Bucky whispered against your ear.

You shivered at his words. 

“Please, let me show you how fucking stunning you are,” he moved his hands towards the front of your hips.

“What?” you turned around. You hadn’t expected Bucky to want to do anything with you.

“I can make you feel so good. You deserve it.”

“Bucky-”

“Do you want me to make you feel good?”

“I do,” you whined as he rubbed his hands against your lower back, pulling you so close.

He kissed you too softly, barely touching your lips, as he grabbed your hands and led to his room upstairs.  

When you reached his room, the back of his knees hit the bed and he sat while your knees went to either side of his thighs. God his thighs. His hands went up your shirt grazing your bare skin with his fingertips as you continued to makeout sloppily. 

“Can I take this off?” he asked, tugging your shirt.

“Please, yes please.”

Your arms went over your head and Bucky slowly kissed the exposed skin as your shirt inched higher and higher up until he tossed it to the side. The straps of your bra left off shoulders and Bucky continued to kiss any exposed skin on your body. Your hands ran through his hair and you tugged his strands earning a moan in return.

You tugged at his shirt as well and he complied quickly getting rid of his shirt and throwing it to the side. Bucky hands ran over your bottom and you jumped off him nearly ripping your bottoms off your body. You heard bucky chuckled as he too took the opportunity to take his pants off leaving him in boxers and nothing else.

“I want to taste you baby girl,” Bucky bit at your ear.

Your body tensed a bit because although you were not a virgin, you were not that experienced, especially compared to Bucky. 

“Is that ok? I’m sorry, we don’t have to do anything. I don’t want you to regret anything, princess. We can stop.”

“No! I don’t want to stop. No one’s just ever wanted to do that, you know,” you whispered feeling a bit overwhelmed.

“Oh baby, what kinda shit boys were you with? Let me show how good a woman is supposed to feel, got it?”

You swallowed hard, but nodded of course. 

Bucky picked you up and gently laid you down onto the bed. His hands rubbed your thighs softly and he kissed your stomach ever so softly. He was trying his very hardest to make sure you were comfortable and relaxed as much as possible. Bucky traced the lining of your underwear and looked to you once again to make sure everything was ok by you. You nodded but that wasn’t enough for Bucky.

“Words, baby. I wanna hear you say it,” he whispered, lips against your inner thigh. 

“Bucky,” you whined.

“Come on, baby. Use your words like a big girl,” he snickered.

“Please, touch me, Bucky. I want you to use your mouth on me like you promised.”

“There ya go,” he said pulling your underwear down your legs.

He slowly opened your legs and kissed your inner thigh leaving a dark purple mark for him to see and him only. When he was satisfied with the marks he left on your inner thighs he licked a slow and wet line against your pussy. Your hips instantly bucked into his face and your hands flew to his hair.

You tugged at his hair again and released a grunt from Bucky, the vibrations from his mouth pleasuring you even more. Bucky brought his fingers to your hole and he continued circling his tongue around your clit making you moan and arch your back. 

He entered a finger into you and then another. You were already beginning to feel full from just his fingers alone, you couldn’t wait until he was able to fuck you balls deep. Your orgasm was approaching quicker than you anticipated, your toes curled and your back arched off the bed. Your heels dug into Bucky’s back but he simply continued to eat you out until you finally peaked.

“Bucky!” you shouted his name in pleasure.

“That’s it baby girl. You're my good girl, right?”

“Yes, I’m your good girl. Oh god, I’m cumming,” you moaned.

Bucky helped you ride out your first orgasm of the night completely enamored by your beauty. When you finally came down from you high you reached for Bucky pulling him into a heated kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue and moaned into his mouth. You pulled him closer and sat up moving him to sit his back against his headboard.

“I don’t know what I want to do more, return the favor or ride you until my legs shake.”

“You can return the favor another time. Let me see you ride my dick, doll,” Bucky growled. Another time?

You crawled onto Bucky’s lap after he discarded his boxers letting his dick spring up, the tip red from lack of attention. It shocked you if you were being honest, it was so… big. 

“Is that gonna fit?” you asked genuinely.

“Yeah, it will; but if it hurts too much you tell me to stop ok?” you nodded.

Bucky reached behind your back and unclasped your bra only to toss it to wherever the rest of your clothes were. His hands caressing your breasts; thumbs rubbing over your sensitive nipples, sending chills throughout your body. He kissed along your collarbone to your neck to your jaw before whispering in your ear.

“I have to grab a condom from the bathroom, baby girl. Sorry,” he began to move you.

“Why are you sorry?” you stopped him.

“I don’t wanna ruin the mood but safety is important before anything else.”

You weren’t gonna lie that actually kinda shocked you; and turned you on even more. You had completely forgotten about having a condom. You were on the pill but that doesn't mean you shouldn’t still use a condom. Bucky was back in no time and you took the condom from him wanting to put it on for him. Bucky moaned as you wrapped his dick and soon enough you were ready to go, arousal practically dripping down your inner thighs.

Bucky’s hand lid up to the back of your neck as you slid down his cock; both moaning at the feeling. You took a second to move but when you did things practically fell into pace. You quickly found a good rhythm for the both of you and soon enough you felt yourselves growing near climax.

Bucky’s hands gripped at your ass, grunting and moaning at the feeling of your walls gliding in and out of you. He smacked your ass leaving a slight red-ish mark for you to admire later. You pulled him closer, if that was even possible, burying your face in between Bucky’s neck and shoulder. 

“I can feel ya getting close, baby. Fucking squeezing me. Feels so good, princess.”

“I'm gonna come, I’m so close.”

“Don’t come until I say so. Hold it, I know you can. Be my good little girl and fucking hold it.”

You sucked and kissed and licked his neck leaving little marks not nearly as big as the ones he was leaving all over you. Soon enough you felt the coil building in the pit of your stomach snap and you moaned so loud into Bucky’s ear, he almost came from hearing your moans.

“Sorry I literally screamed in your ear.”

“I told you not to come until I say so.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t hold it anymore. You felt too good,” you whispered, barely audible.

“That doesn’t matter. I told you to hold it,” Bucky got off the bed and reached for his pants. You got so scared that he was going to leave; terrified. But instead he took his belt he was wearing and stalked back towards you. Oh how the butterflies in your stomach fluttered right now.

“Arms up baby girl. You don’t get to touch me now.”

You complied, your stomach fluttering immensely at the mere thought of what Bucky was going to  do with you now. When he finished looping the belt around the headboard of the bed his hands ran along your entire body kissing here and there until back up to you. 

“Too tight?” you shook your head.

“Perfect. Winter; say the word and I stop,” he kissed passionately, sliding back in you, pussy sensitive from orgasming twice tonight. 

Bucky didn’t take as much time as you did before starting to slam into you over and over again. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, toes curling in themselves, tears brimming your eyes. Bucky fingers dug into your waist surely leaving more marks for you in the morning. 

His hand came up to wrap around your neck and squeezed ever so slightly.

“Feel good? My little fucking slut, whining and wiggling under me,” Bucky said, more to himself than anything.

“Fuck-” you moaned. You wrists rubbing against the belt, trying to pull away so you could touch Bucky.

“What is it? You wanna touch me,” Bucky’s hand squeezed a bit more and you moaned even louder, legs wrapping around his waist pulling him closer that way.

“Oh good please Bucky, let me touch you!”

“Uh-uh, bad girls don’t get what they want. If you want to touch me you have to beg me like the good little whore you are,” Bucky growled.

“Fuck Bucky please, I’ll do anything for you just me let me touch you. Please, please, please!”

“Tell me your mine.”

“I’m yours, Buck. All fucking yours. No one else’s!”

“No one is ever gonna fuck as good as I do. Your mine.”

“Yes! I’m yours, oh god,” you moaned.

Bucky was extremely close to cumming and so were you so he undid the belt with one hand skillfully and your arms wrapped around his body pulling as close to you as humanly possible. Your hands ran through his hair and pulled hard as you both fell over the edge. Bucky settled between your legs for a minute kissing your breasts, your chest heaving trying to catch your breath. 

Bucky got up and discarded the condoms making sure there were no tears or rips considering how rough he’d been with you. He didn’t intend to be rough at first but his mind was so clouded with you he practically lost control; but you didn’t mind not one bit. 

Bucky came back with bottled water from a small refrigerator he kept in the corner of his room and held you back and head as you brought the water to your lips. After satisfying your dry and hoarse throat, Bucky picked you up and set down on his bathroom counter, the cold of the marble counter in extreme contrast to your hot skin. 

He cleaned you up and inspected your wrists making sure you weren’t hurt; although they were quite red and would probably hurt in the morning. Lastly, he grabbed a wipe and cleaned the remaining mess of makeup you had put on the night before speaking up again.

“Was I too rough? I didn’t mean to be,” Bucky caressing the sides of your waist. You shocked your head no; the face with a blissfully fucked out expression and a smile making Bucky chuckle. He rubbed your skin with lotion to ease any irritation anything may have caused and kissed the marks he made during sex. He admits that he really likes seeing you marked up by him knowing he’s the only one who gets to see them and make them. Makes him proud that he was able to fuck so good and you loved it too.

He picked you up and took you to bed; kissing you all over one last time before letting you fall asleep in his arms. The last thing you heard before you fell asleep was Bucky whispering about how good were to him, calling you his good little girl; rubbing your back ever so softly putting you to sleep.

+++

You woke the next morning arms and legs tangled with another. You turn your head to find Bucky Barnes’ face tucked into your neck soft breaths tickling your skin. You rubbed his arms and back, nails lightly scratching him causing him to stir a bit.

Bucky pressed soft kisses against your skin and rested his large warm hands on your ass and thighs. You felt the urge to use the restroom and haven’t going last night, you figured you should as soon as possible. Prying your mildly sweaty body from his was obviously unsuccessful with how much stronger he was compared to you. His legs moved further in between your thighs and he began kissing your chest making you giggle in return.

“Bucky, I have to use the restroom,” you grabbed his face.

“Oh, sorry,” he chuckled and released his hold on you, not without whining of course.

You ran into his bathroom and shut the door. When you turned around you gasped realizing how marked up you were. Dark purple spots littered all over your chest and neck. Your wrists were bright red from the belt he used last night; however they didn’t hurt, a bit sore but not painful. Your thighs were also decorated with love bites and hickeys from Bucky last night and you smiled to yourself.

After you used the bathroom you cleaned yourself as well as possible but admittedly needed a shower in the end. You opened the door only to find Bucky, grinning like a little boy. You folded your hands underneath your chin evidently hiding your body with your arms as much as you could. 

Bucky came up to you and placed his hands on your waist kissing the top of your head before turning you around to look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. His body was flush against your and you could feel his dick sitting against your ass and lower back. His face came up and rested on your shoulder then grabbed your hands to wrap them behind his head and yours. 

You played with his hair a bit feeling so confident and loved by the affection Bucky has been giving since you came into his room. His hands ran across your body everywhere they could reach before making eye contact with you in the mirror.

“Look at you, goddamn.”

“What?” you chuckled.

“Do you see what I’m seeing?”

You shook your head, feeling incredibly shy suddenly.

“Look how  fucking beautiful and gorgeous and perfect you are. Geez, I can’t even handle it.” 

You laughed out at how dramatic he was being.

“Goddamn, I could stare at your perfect body all fucking day,” he whispered, it wasn’t in a sensual tone however. It was almost like he was saying to himself, like he actually wanted to do as such.

“Please stay,” he asked you.

“Are you ok?” you sensed he was being incredibly serious, almost about to cry even.

His sad painted with sadness, eyes begging you to stay with him for the day. He wanted something with you.he wanted to be yours and hoped to God that you’d be his in return.

“Stay with me. Please?” you realized you didn’t think he was talking about staying for now, he meant stay with him, as a partner.

“What happened?” you caressed his face in your hands. He lifted you and placed you on the counter Like he did the night before, settling his hips in between your legs.

“They always leave,” he whispered.

“Who? ”

“I didn’t want to just sleep around with girls anymore so I started talking to them and taking them out but every time the night we had sex, they would always leave. I tried talking to them the next day but they always said they didn’t want anything out of it. So I stopped having sex altogether.” 

Your heart ached for him. You didn’t want to do that to him. Of course you thought about it, but that was clearly before you realized Bucky wanted to be with you.

“I won’t leave.”

“We can stay in my room all day. You don’t even have to get out of bed. I can grab a couple game consoles from downstairs and we play on the tv. We order breakfast. I’ll wash your clothes. We have a washing machine in the basement,” Bucky said excitedly, you smiled excited as well for your day with Bucky.

“Can we take a shower first?” you asked.

“Yes of course, let’s take a shower.”

“Let’s?” you wiggled your eyebrows.

“Of course. Maybe we can pop in a couple rounds while we’re at it,” Bucky winked.

“Bucky!”

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Ok, all done. :) Hope you liked it and maybe give it a little like or reblog? You don’t have  to though lol

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ! 

@baddie-barnes

@calwitch

@red42985

[fanficsandthings]

Through the Years, Ch. 7

A George Weasley Fanfiction

A George Weasley x Slytherin reader story.

Each chapter shares events in one year of George and reader’s life together.

Word Count: 6.1k

Author’s note: i know i’m like 3 months late on posting this chapter, but i promise i haven't abandoned this fic. 

Year 1, Year 2, Year 3, Year 4, Year 5, Year 6 

Year 6, Part 2:  Fireworks

 The heavy rain soaked through your clothes as you made your way into King’s Cross. It had been raining hard since early that morning, and the heavy gloom that hung over London was starting to take hold in your chest. The events of two weeks prior were impossible to purge from your mind, and on days like this the memories slowly crept their way forward. You swore that green skull could illuminate the sky again at any moment, so instead, you forced yourself to think about other things. 

You uncle and dad had been talking for weeks about an event happening at Hogwarts this year, but they wouldn’t give anything away. All you knew was that you needed a fancy dress, which you bought a week ago at a second hand store. It now sat in the bottom of your trunk, its intended use unknown to you for now. 

You no longer needed the motivation to run through the brick wall that separated platforms 9 and 10, like you did in your first year. You and your father casually waited by the wall, wringing the water from your clothes, as you watched the muggles pass by. When all was clear, you casually leaned against it, disappearing suddenly to anyone who might’ve cared to notice. 

The steam from the scarlet coloured engine filled the platform, the people rushing about looking more like ghosts than corporeal beings. You searched briefly for a family of redheads, but quickly gave up and turned your attention to the items you had brought with you. 

You checked quickly on Minnie, whose carrier was concealed under your rain jacket on top of your trunk. She was dry, just a little perturbed at all the movement happening on the trip here. 

“You packed the camcorder, right?” your father asked. “And the extra tapes?”

“Yes,” you told him, “they were the first things I packed.” 

“And you’re sure you know how to use it?”

“Yes, I’m pretty sure we went over it about 100 times.”

“I just don’t want you to get there and then not be able to capture anything,” he said, looking around at the people on the platform. He lowered his voice a bit to speak the next part. “It’s going to be a very fun year. I don’t want you to forget any of it.”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “Will you please stop being so secretive, and tell me what’s going on?”

“I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough,” he told you. 

You were about to protest and beg for more information when three more people came through the platform portal. Ron, Hermione, and Harry appeared before you, squinting through the steam. 

“Oh, look!” your dad cut you off, ignoring the annoyed look on your face. “Friends! Now, go get on the train with them. I might see you sooner than you think.”  

You said a very quick goodbye before turning to the three newcomers. They were still looking through the steam, trying to orientate themselves before heading to the train. You snuck up as quietly as your trunk would allow, thankful that the train engine was letting off some noise. 

“What’re you looking for?” you shouted, right in between Ron and Harry’s heads. It caused all three of them to jump; the owls in the cages they were holding hooted frantically as they got tossed around. 

“Please don’t do that,” Hermione voiced as she clutched her chest. 

“Sorry,” you said, smiling, “I couldn’t resist.” You turned your head to look at the brick wall briefly. “Where is..”

“Your boyfriend?” Ron butt in. He turned to Harry and made a fake gagging noise. Harry let out a laugh, amused at his friend’s actions. 

“Right behind you,” a familiar voice said. You turned to see Charlie, Fred, and George. George was smiling brightly at you. “We just passed your dad on the other side of the barrier.” 

“Charlie!” you exclaimed, giving him a quick hug. “I expected you to be back in Romania by now.”

“Do we even exist?” George whispered to Fred. 

“Apparently not when Charlie’s around,” Fred answered. 

You rolled your eyes as you turned to the twins. “I’m gonna see you two constantly for the next 10 months. I rarely see Charlie.” 

“I took extended time off,” Charlie said, answering your question, “because I’ll be working a little extra in a couple of months.” 

Ginny, Bill, and Mrs. Wealsey made their way through the wall behind the twins. 

“Hello,” Mrs. Weasley greeted upon seeing you. 

“Molly, it’s so good to see you. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to see you at the Quidditch Cup,” you told her, giving her a hug. 

“Quidditch isn’t really my thing, dear,” she informed you. “But I might get to see you all again soon.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” you asked. 

“It’s nothing,” she said, pushing you back towards Fred and George. 

“We should get going,” you said to the twins. “We need to find Lee and seats” 

The twins said goodbye to their family, and you all headed off through the steam towards the train. You found Lee, who had already boarded and was saving a compartment for the three of you. You stuffed your trunks above the seats and put Millie’s carrier in the seat next to the door. 

It was a weird feeling, purposefully sitting so close to George on the train; him next to the window and your head leaning on his shoulder so you could watch the countryside pass by. Really, it’s not like much had changed from being just friends to dating. You had always sat close to each other before, even holding hands when the situation allowed for it. Something seemed to change over the last couple months, though, and now you felt more comfortable than ever resting your head against George. 

Maybe it was the fact that you could hold hands now without people whispering in the background and speculating about you. Or the fact that you could run your hands through his hair, which he had let grow a little longer over the summer, and not be worried about accidentally looking into his brown eyes and having to hide your embarrassment over the matter. You could freely count the freckles splattered across his face and name the constellations you made in them. Freckles that would always remind you of the falling snow on the night you first kissed. 

At some point, you let Minnie out of her carrier, letting her roam freely around the compartment, careful to make sure the door was securely closed. She eventually found a comfy stop on the seat between Fred and Lee. You watched as she curled up into a ball, her tail carefully covering her eyes, as if to block out any light. 

As the train rolled on and the rain outside got heavier, the windows fogged up, making it impossible to see outside. You turned your full attention to the conversation happening. Lee was talking about what he did over break, and brought up the Quidditch World Cup. 

Your eyes moved briefly to the window, thinking you might see the bright green light shining through the rain. George saw your movement and squeezed your hand in reassurance, a small smile on his face. You smiled back at him, telling him that you’d be alright. 

Lee mentioned that his father had been cheated out of money over a bet he made with Ludo Bagman at the Cup. 

“That dirty little cheat!” Fred yelled at the mention of Bagman’s name, causing Minnie to startle beside him. 

“He took our money, too,” George added on. “He paid us back in leprechaun gold.” 

“That’s exactly what he did to my dad,” Lee said. 

“You bet all the money you had saved, didn’t you?” you asked Fred and George. 

“Yeah,” Fred sighed. 

“We’ll have to find another way to open the shop now,” George said. 

“I still have some money saved up,” you told them. “About 20 Galleons when converted from muggle money. It’s not much but maybe we could find something to invest it in.”

“We couldn’t ask you to give us your money,” Fred said. 

“Yeah, I’m sure there’s other things you could use that money for, right? ” George inquired. 

“Not really,” you told them. “I’ve always planned to help you with Weasley Wizard Wheezes one way or another. Whether that be through money or inventing inventory.” 

“Oh,” George said rather quietly beside you. “Thank you.” 

You leaned up and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. “Anything for you, Georgie.” 

“And you know I’m always here to test out products,” Lee chimed in. 

“Oh, speaking of which,” you voiced, “did you finish those Canary Creams in the last two weeks?” 

“Not quite,” George told you. “There’s still some kinks to work out, but give us a few weeks and some of Snape’s potion supplies and we’ll get them done.” 

“But!” Fred said, pulling a small, wrapped treat out of his pocket. “We did nail down the yellow hair color.”

“Now we have all the house colors down,” George finished. 

“And I think we should take advantage of that,” you said with a grin. You grabbed the sweet from Fred’s hand. “This one’s yellow?” He nodded. “And you guys still have a beef against Cedric for winning the quidditch match last year?” 

“We should’ve gotten a rematch,” all three of them said in unison. 

“I know, I know,” you said, faking sympathy. 

The rest of the train ride was spent slipping sweets into other student’s train compartments and hiding in the hallway until you heard a couple screams. Cedric didn’t really seem to mind too much; being more embarrassed of the attention his friends were giving him because of it, opposed to being mad. You did manage to slip a pink one into Draco’s compartment, but one of his oversized bodyguards ended up eating it instead. 

You found Adrian Pucey, who was trying to rekindle your friendship a little bit. He had written to you over the summer a few times. You gave him a blue haired sweet just because you wanted to see if the color would look good on him. It really didn’t, as the Ravenclaw blue didn’t mix with his complexion very well. You made him promise to sit next to you at the welcome feast, and you’d reverse the effects then. 

Overall, you were very happy to be going back to Hogwarts where you’d be able to hang out with your friends again. 

-----------------

The term seemed to pass too quickly with all the Tournament excitement going on. You had been concerned for Harry ever since his name was pulled out of that blasted goblet, but ever since he won the first task, he seemed to be in a much better mood. 

You had snuck out of the castle the night before the first task with Fred and George to meet up with Charlie. He had excitedly shown you the dragons they had brought from Romania, their fiery breaths keeping you warm in the cool November air. You had never seen creatures like this upclose before, and they intrigued you enough to think for just a moment that maybe you wouldn’t mind working in Romania with Charlie. 

A month after that, you found Hogwarts covered in snow, the winter chill finally settling in the castle corridors. Fireplaces blazed in every room, warming you ever so slightly as you sat by them. The fireplace in your dorm room did little to help fight the cold of the Black Lake. Again, just like last year, you spent most of your nights in the Gryffindor common room, curled up next to George by their roaring fire. 

Minnie took to spending her nights in George’s room. She seemed to be making friends with Crookshanks, as you would sometimes find them cuddled together in the common room. 

At times you felt bad for the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students. Their carriage and ship didn’t seem like the warmest of homes. You’d look across the school grounds and see them covered in ice and snow, and it would send a shiver down your spine every time. 

Christmas Eve came, and the entire school was filled with excitement over the Yule Ball the next day. You were excited too, but there was one more thing you needed to do before that day came. 

You had told George to meet you in the Astronomy tower in his pajamas at 10pm on Christmas Eve, a surprise all planned out in your head. You had stolen the radio from the Slytherin common room for the night. It had taken you and Adrian over a week to figure out how to get muggle radio stations to play on it, but eventually you got past all the magical interference and were able to listen to muggle music for the first time in almost four months. It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy The Weird Sisters, but sometimes you just missed the music your mum would listen to at home. 

You set up your camcorder in one corner of the tower by the stairs, getting as much of the room in frame as you could. With no one else in the room to film, it would be the best shot you could get with the camera. 

You met George at the base of the tower five minutes before 10, confusion etched on his face. 

“I see you wore the pajamas with a little lion embroidered on them,” you teased him, reaching for his hand. “My cute little Gryffindor.” 

He blushed at your words, but he took your hand nonetheless and let you lead him up the stairs. 

“You’re literally wearing the same ones but with a snake embroidered,” George said. 

“Hey, your mum made them, and I love them,” you told him. You squeezed his hand as you both laughed. 

Music from the radio played softly from the top of the tower, a song that neither of you had heard before. When you reached the top of the stairs, you paused briefly to press the record button on the camera. This caused a confused look to make its way onto George’s face, but you reassured him that nothing harmful was going to happen.  

You pulled him to the middle of the room, the chill from the winter night just barely reaching you. Pulling him close to you, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. George instinctively put his arms around your waste. You started to sway to the slow song coming from the radio.

“We haven’t been up here in a while,” George whispered. 

“Not since fourth year when we flew right into the middle of Professor Sinistra’s nighttime class,” you said, laughing. 

“Hey, we both expected her to have a midnight class that night,” George said, “not an 8pm class.” 

“I didn’t even mind the detention we got from it,” you told him. “I was just happy that I beat you in the race up here.” 

“I remember you cheating to beat me up here,” George said, wrinkling up his nose to tease you. “You and your old money Malfoy broom nearly knocked me into the castle wall.” 

“All’s fair in love and war, Georgie,” you said. “I was just using the speed that broom gives me to its full potential.” 

“If I didn’t love you so much, I’d still be mad about it.” He leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. “I still can’t believe you finally let me kiss you a year ago now.”

“You can thank Charlie for that actually. He gave me a little pep talk before I came outside that night.” You rested your head against his chest, listening to him hum along to the music. “Do you know this song?” 

“I’ve heard you play it before while you were at my house. I quite like it.” 

You pulled yourself as close to George as possible, trying to absorb his body heat. You hadn’t really thought about the open balcony and the winter weather when you planned this out. You leaned against him and swayed with the song, only really listening to his heartbeat through his chest. When the song was over and a more upbeat one came on, you pulled away just enough to look at his face. 

“Do you think Dumbledore really got The Weird Sisters to play tomorrow night,” you asked. 

“I hope so,” he said with a small laugh. “It’s all everyone’s been talking about the past few days.” 

“Speaking of the ball,” you started, “Did Fred ever ask that girl he likes to go with him?” 

“He asked Angelina a few days ago,” George told you. You wrinkled up your face in confusion. “What? They’re going as friends.” 

“But what about that Hufflepuff girl that he talks about constantly?” you asked. “I expected him to ask her, and I thought Lee and Angelina would go together.” 

“Lee’s going with a Ravenclaw fifth year, actually,” he informed you. “One of Cho Chang’s friends. Cedric actually set them up.” He seemed to have a hard time admitting that Cedric could do something nice for someone. George and Fred really held a grudge when it came to quidditch. 

“Cedric’s a good person, you know?” you said. “He wanted to have that rematch. But back to Fred; why is he being an idiot about his crush?”

“Because he is an idiot in general,” George said laughing. “He asked Angie just to prove to Ron that he had a date. He didn’t think it through.” 

You let out a sigh. “He’ll never learn.” 

The next song started with a familiar tune. “George, I think you’ll love this one!” 

You pulled away from him and grabbed his hand. There was no rhythm to your dancing, but it was fun nonetheless. George left all his worries behind and danced with you, not caring that you two definitely looked like idiots. He did really like the song that was playing, and he enjoyed it even more knowing that you loved it. 

You turned your camcorder off after that song, saving room on the tape for the next night too. You walked with George to the balcony, braving the cold to look over the snow covered grounds. Hogwarts really did look beautiful at this time of night. The moon reflected off the white snow and shone brightly over the Black Lake. The ship and the carriage looked like mere children’s toys from this far away. 

You rested your head against George’s shoulder as you both leaned against the railing. “Thank you, George.”

“For what?” he asked.

“For being my best friend, I guess,” you said. “It means a lot to me to have someone like you in my life.” 

“I’m glad I have you too,” He kissed the top of your head. 

You moved your head to kiss him properly, his body heat warming your face as you leaned in. The smell of potions clung to his skin, as he had been working on new products the entire last week. You caught the scent of a rather sweet one, and breathed in deeply. You pulled away reluctantly, but the cold was getting to you and you needed to head inside. 

George picked up the camera as you grabbed the radio, turning it off. You walked quietly down the stairs, hoping not to run into anyone at the bottom. He offered to walk you to your dorm, but you knew that Gryffindor tower was a lot closer than the dungeons, so you walked him there.

“Keep the camera for tomorrow,” you told him. “Record whatever mischief you get up to in the morning and then put it in the Great Hall.” 

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow night.” He leaned in for one more kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

You hurried off down the hall as he climbed through the portrait hole. Sneaking down to the dungeons at this hour required a bit of stealth and luck, but you had done it enough to basically know the patrol schedules. You made it to the common room after only one near run in with a teacher, but you ducked behind a statue, just barely avoiding them. 

There were a few students left in the common room, so you casually put the radio back in its spot on the table. Hopefully no one had missed it too much. 

You made your way to your dorm room, opening the door quietly to not wake your roommates. The last embers of the fire were still burning in the fireplace, and they gave you just enough light to be able to see your way to your bed. The light from the moon didn’t reach this deep into the Black Lake when there was a layer of ice on top of it, so your windows remained pitch black. 

You laid in bed, pulling the quilt from last Christmas as close to you as you could. You breathed in the earthy smell and let out a content sigh. Sleep found you easily that night, and your mind raced with dreams of what tomorrow might be like. 

-----------------------------

The buzz and excitement in the air was contagious as everyone got ready before the ball. You had spent the morning in the common room with Adrian, trying to get him to tell you who he was going with, but he refused, saying that you’d find out in a few hours anyway. 

“Why won’t you just tell me?” you asked, leaning forward and narrowing your eyes at him. 

“Why does it matter so much?” he asked in return, ignoring the look you were giving him. 

“Because I want a picture of us and our dates,” you said, “and if I don’t know who your date is, then I can’t force them to take the picture.” 

“I promise you’ll get your picture,” he said. “I’m meeting up with him in front--”

You nearly sprang to your feet, but kept yourself in your chair when you saw the look of embarrassment on his face. 

“So it’s not the seventh year Ravenclaw girl that has a crush on you,” you said, putting your hands over your mouth to think a bit. “I really thought it was her.”

Adrian looked flustered, his cheeks turning red. “What? No, no, she doesn’t have a crush on me.”

“She does,” you told him bluntly. “She asked me if you had a date about two weeks ago. I told her yes, but seeing as you won’t tell me who, I couldn’t give her more information.” 

Adrian sank back into the couch, wishing this conversation would end. You looked at him, still thinking about who he could be going with. 

“The Beauxbatons boy who wouldn’t stop staring at you on their first night here?” you pondered, but he remained quiet. “The fifth year Hufflepuff who ran into you in the hall last month? He’s cute and rather shy. I remember him apologizing profusely. I noticed him ducking his head away from you when we’d pass him in the hall after that.” 

You watched him for a reaction that would give you a yes or no answer, but all you noticed was his face getting redder. Adrian never really talked about crushes and who he liked. This conversation about people who maybe liked him seemed to be a little much for him. 

“Alright, one more guess,” you said, “and then I promise I’ll drop it until tonight.” He looked at you out of the corner of his eye. You took it as a sign to go on. “It’s not one of your dorm mates, is it? They’re rather all kinda assholes.”  

You finally got a laugh out of him at that. “Absolutely not. I know them all way too well to ever want to go on a date with any of them.” 

“Good, just checking to make sure you were still sane,” you said, standing up. “I’ll see you in a bit. Meet back here before we head up?” Adrian gave a small nod as you headed towards your dorm. 

You got ready while the rest of your roommates chatted around you. The dress you had picked out just before the school year started hung from a hanger on your four poster bed. The purple fabric of it was accented nicely by some small gold details. You had added a little bit of magic to it over the past few months, making it more your own, rather than just a second hand find. 

You found Adrian a few hours later, sitting in the same spot you had left him; his casual clothes now swapped out for dress robes, and his hair neatly styled. 

“You look nice,” you told him, causing him to look up. 

“Thanks.” He stood up, scratching the back of his neck. He looked at you, taking in your dress. “You look great. Did you get the sparks to work?” 

“Yes!” you said excitedly, looking down at the gold details. “Technically not sparks, but you’ll see. Wait till George can see them too. Can you carry this?”

You handed him your disposable camera, and he quickly put it in his pocket. He held out his arm, and you easily linked yours in it. You headed out of the common room, ready to meet up with your dates.

Walking up the stairs from the dungeons, the first person you saw standing in front of the Great Hall was Ron in his interesting dress robes. He was staring angrily at two people as they walked into the hall. It took a second to realize the girl was Hermione, having never seen her with her hair done like that before. You recognized the boy as Viktor Krum when he turned to greet one of his friends as he walked past them. 

Viktor’s friend turned in your direction, and his face lit up with a smile as he saw you and Adrian. You turned to Adrian, who was smiling just as brightly back at the Durmstrang boy. 

“A Durmstrang boy?” you whispered to Adrian as you made your way over to him. The boy was tall, at least a few inches taller than Adrian, and his long dark hair hung to his shoulders. When he reached the two of you, he turned his attention to you and took your hand, kissing it softly. His green eyes looked into yours briefly. 

“Adrian has talked a lot about you,” the boy said, dropping your hand. He looked back over at Adrian, the softest expression on both of their faces.

“This is Georgi,” Adrian introduced you. You looked at him, trying to hide your expression of slight shock. 

This is exactly why he wouldn’t tell you the name of his date. He knew you would tease him about going to the ball with a boy who shared a name so similar to your boyfriend. In all honesty though, the two boys were almost nothing alike. Georgi seemed a little more subdued and quiet, opposed to George who, though quieter than his brother, was still too loud for his own good. 

While making polite conversation with Adrian and his date, you were also trying to find the twins in the crowd of people. You noticed them coming down the stairs with Lee and Angelina, Lee soon hurrying off to find his date. 

You nudged Adrian in the side and gestured towards the twins. “I’ll be right back.” He nodded at you, and you set off through the crowd. 

“George!” you called as you ran up and hugged him. He and Fred were wearing matching outfits, probably passed down from their uncles to them.  

“Hello.” George pulled you back from the hug, looking at you fully. “You’re beautiful.” 

You ignored his statement, trying to hide the heat rising on your face. “Come on, I want you to meet Adrian’s date.” You looked at Fred and Angelina. “You too. I want a picture.” You pulled George’s hand, leading the group back through the crowd. 

“You put the camcorder in the Great Hall, right?” you said over your shoulder. 

“Yeah,” George confirmed. “About an hour ago. You’ll just need to hit record.” 

Meeting up with Adrian again, you gestured to George, introducing him to the Durmstrang boy. “George, this is Georgi. Georgi, George. My boyfriend.” 

They stared at each other for half a second before Fred butted in. 

“Well, isn’t that fun,” he said with a grin. 

You just grinned at Adrian, a smug look on your face.

You introduced Fred and Angelina and chatted for a bit before pulling another student over, who you knew was muggleborn, to take a picture of the six of you. Adrian nudged you and pointed to your dress. You looked down at it before realizing what he was suggesting. 

“Oh,” you said, catching the attention of the group. “I almost forgot. I added a little magic to my dress. Adrian, do you mind doing the honors?”

He pointed his wand at your dress, and a translucent, almost invisible smoke came out of the end. Tendrils of smoke reached out, attaching themselves to the center of each little gold detail and then disappearing into the dress. Each gold detail began to shake, as if filled with an immense energy. Suddenly, the details exploded across the dress, mimicking fireworks to the best of their ability. After a moment, they settled into their original shape. 

The group was staring at you, transfixed on what had just happened. 

“I’ve never seen a spell like that before,” Georgi finally said, a look of wonder on his face. 

“That’s because Adrian and I invented it, just for this,” you told him. You smiled as you looked over at Adrian. “We’ve been working on spells and such all of term in our free time. So far we only got the radio to work, and now this. This one isn’t perfect though. The smoke isn’t supposed to be there; it’s supposed to just be an immediate effect.”

George could tell that you were rambling now. He could see that your ramblings were bringing your excitement over the fantastic job you did down into doubt about how it didn’t work exactly how you wanted it to. He reached out and grabbed your hand. 

“It was beautiful,” he said. He looked into your eyes, trying to bring your attention to only him, trying to calm you down. “You know I love fireworks. Maybe they could be a part of the uniform at our shop.”

You smiled at him, giving a small laugh. “That would be wonderful.”

You turned back to the group and noticed Angelina standing by herself, Fred nowhere in sight. “Where’s Fred gone off to?” 

“He said he needed to talk to someone,” Angelina said, pointing towards the stairs that led towards the kitchens. 

You turned, expecting to find Fred putting a firecracker in someone's robes, but instead found him trying to get the attention of the Hufflepuff girl. She was standing close to another Durmstrang boy, but looked rather uncomfortable at the whole situation. She kept trying to scoot closer to Cedric, but every time she did, the Durmstrang boy would scoot with her. Cedric said something to her before he took Cho by the hand and led her into the Hall. Fred called her name again, but she continued to ignore him, instead saying something to her date before they too walked to the Hall. 

“Why didn’t he just ask her?” Angelina asked beside you. “I would’ve been fine going with someone else.”

“Because he’s an idiot,” you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You’re not wrong,” Angelina agreed. 

The entrance hall was getting emptier as everyone filed into the Great Hall. You took this as the cue to follow suit. You stood in the large crowd, pressing play on your camcorder as the school champions were ushered to the dance floor. The dancing started, and George almost immediately pulled you to the dance floor as more people joined in. 

The night went by quickly, but you would always be able to watch it back thanks to your camcorder, and look at pictures that you took. 

Your favorite picture by far was one of Adrian squished in a hug between the twins, their red hair and gold vests standing out extravagantly against his all black outfit. Adrian and the twins were still not the best of friends, but over the past few months they had all agreed to try to get along for your sake. The twins liked to show their progress through aggressive acts of friendliness. 

The videos were another story. They showed the night in motion and sound, something you were eternally thankful for. You could never give enough thanks to your dad for buying the camcorder for you. 

The video of the school champions dancing showed Hermione being the happiest you had ever seen her. It was quickly interrupted by you laughing as George pulled you onto the dance floor, followed by Fred grabbing Angelina to dance with him. It even caught a bit of McGonagall dancing with Dumbledore, a surprising sight, as you had thought you would never see either of them dancing in your life. 

You caught a video of Percy, zoomed way in on his grumpy face as he watched his ex-girlfriend dancing with someone else. Penelope looked happy with the boy she was dancing with though. You knew in a few years, hopefully, Percy would be able to laugh at his emotions too. 

You got Fred and George pulling Percy, Ron, and Harry out of their seats as The Weird Sisters started to play. Ginny joined their group to dance with her brothers; the three excited Weasleys trying their best to dance the grumpiness out of the others. You set the camera down on a table, facing the group and ran to grab Adrian and Georgi. Passing Angelina and Alicia on the way back, you told them to come with you too. Your large group now took up much of the dance floor, but no one seemed to mind as you all jumped around to the song the band was playing. 

The next video had the band playing a slower song in the background. The camera just sitting on a table, having been accidentally turned on by someone. It showed the Hufflepuff girl sitting at a table with Percy. They were talking, but the music drowned out any words that they were saying. Percy looked a little happier than he did earlier. Fred came into frame, sitting next to Percy, but putting his whole attention on the girl. She said a few short words to him, but when it was obvious she didn’t want to talk, he got up and walked towards the camera. He must have noticed it was on, because he mumbled a few words at it before the video cut off. 

There was a short video of you and Adrian walking outside in front of the castle, lights sparkling around you. George and Fred were a few paces ahead of you, talking about something you couldn’t hear. Georgi had offered to record for a bit, even though he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. The video cut off abruptly when the camera was dropped. 

The last video on the camera was George recording you as you were leaving the Hall for the night. 

“How was your night,” he asked from behind the camera. 

“I had a great night,” you told him, walking backwards. You were holding up your dress so you didn’t trip. “Better than some people.”

The camera panned over to Fred, who flicked it off. He had a smile on his face, though, so you knew he still had a wonderful time. George moved the camera to catch Angelina in frame. 

“Did you still have a good time,” he asked her, “even though your date was kinda a drag?” 

“I had a wonderful time,” Angelina said as she put her arms around Alicia and Katie, who were walking beside her. “I still had my best friends to lift the mood.” 

“And what about you,” George turned so now he was walking backwards, camera pointed at Adrian and Georgi. They were walking hand in hand, Adrian’s head resting on Georgi’s shoulder. 

“It was alright,” Adrian said, smiling up at his date. Georgi squeezed Adrian’s hand. 

You had now reached the base of the stairs that led up to the Gryffindor common room. Everyone stopped walking to say their goodbyes. 

“One more thing,” you said to the camera. “I wanna get my spell on record.” You grabbed out your wand and pointed it at your dress, setting the fireworks in motion. 

“Beautiful, as always,” George hummed behind the camera. “I think this is where we part ways.” He took your hand in his. “Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight.” 

The video stopped as you leaned in to kiss him. 

[ggukkiedae]

Interview

Miya: “I dedicated my life to this career path around eleven years ago, and I’ve grown as a person in the past eleven years.”

BTS Butter album release interview

2021.08.02

Yoonmi spoke throughout the interview in a relaxed manner, confident in her answers and sharing her opinions without hesitation. She didn’t let anything influence her answers, they were all her own. She was herself.

Firstly, congratulations! “Butter” has been number one on the Billboard Hot 100 for six weeks now. (This interview took place on July 13)

Miya: Thank you! It was such a surprise to hear that it stayed there for so long. I never really try to keep track of rankings because I want to enjoy making my music and not either feel pressured to beat records or get disappointed if I don’t... But it’s always a really nice surprise to be faced with news like this. Though I still can’t help but feel quite nervous when I hear news like that.

Do these nervous feelings come with the increasing international fanbase that just develops over time?

Miya: A little bit, yeah. I’m a people pleaser. More often than not, I like to try my best and satisfy everyone that I can, and I get upset with myself if I can’t do that. I always begin with making music for myself, but sometimes releasing things to the public can make you feel anxious to see if people like it.

What about satisfying yourself? I’m sure that, with the self-love messages you and the rest of the group have been spreading, you’ve learned to prioritize your own thoughts and satisfaction.

Miya: It really depends. When it comes to my music, I have strong opinions. The oppas can tell you how irritable I get when it comes to production when things don’t go the way I want it. I’m the same way with certain opinions. I’m sure ARMY know I can get stubborn when it comes to certain opinions I have or situations I’m in. When it comes to myself, though, I like to put my friends’ and family’s opinion of myself over my own. If I don’t do that, then I probably wouldn’t love myself. (laughs)

Is this why you decided to release fully English songs?

Miya: (laughs) First of all, that wasn’t a solo decision, we decided on it as a group and with the company. No, it’s not because of my weird need to satisfy people, it was because we, as a group, believe that the release would be best expressed in English, especially with the style of music we chose.

The past three singles you’ve released have all been in English. As someone who grew up speaking English, how is that for you?

Miya: Honestly, I don’t have too much of a big opinion on making music in English. Music is music, and language doesn’t really matter, does it? We can understand each other quite well through melodies. But, all that aside, it’s another language that I’m comfortable in, so I guess I’m pretty thankful I could express myself clearly.

Is it easier for you to express yourself in English?

Miya: Not necessarily. (laughs) I know it seems like I struggle with Korean, but it’s really just me trying to remember to not speak in dialect. I like to think that I express myself well in both languages to be able to fully portray the songs we perform. Sometimes, though, I do tend to mix languages up. You can catch me trying to speak in English and forgetting the word so I have to say it in Korean. It happens vice versa, and sometimes with the other languages I speak. Yeah, I’m a mess in my head.

Do you have plans of releasing a fully English solo album one day?

Miya: Who knows? I’ll go wherever the wind takes me. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t made two fully English songs for my solos on two different BTS albums, right? But I’m comfortable with my Korean music right now. It’s the language of the music I mostly grew up on, so I like making songs in Korean. Maybe one day I will, though.

Your releases so far have been group songs. Are there any plans for a solo comeback this year? Especially after you won Best Solo Dance Performance in 2020’s MAMA with “Play”?

Miya: Oh, wow, I didn’t think you’d bring up “Play”. (laughs) Why did you bring that up? I feel embarrassed! Gosh, I mean, I might be working on something right now, but things are all up in the air. To be honest, there’s no pause for me when it comes to working on music. If I’m not doing school work or hanging out with my friends and family, I’m most likely working on something. You can say I’m always preparing, but plans are never really set.

We’ll be looking forward to your next song and its performance then. Speaking of which, you helped with the performance aspect of “Permission to Dance”. J-Hope mentioned you were the one to suggest and integrate sign language into the choreography. What made you do so?

Miya: Oh, it’s something that I’ve wanted to do for a while. Because I was curious and a little confused, I did research when I was younger about how hearing impaired people enjoyed music, and they did so through the vibrations and visual performance. I wanted to know how to step it up. Then BTOB sunbaenim released “Missing You”, integrating sign language into their choreography. Not to forget, I also saw this one ARMY in particular during one of our concerts back then signing along to our music for I think their hearing impaired friend. I felt inspired by that, and I’ve been wanting to do this for so long so more people can enjoy our music and performances. I’m just glad I was given the opportunity to do this and that the higher ups thought it was a good idea this time around.

It’s nice that you’ve always been vocal about being inclusive and respectful to different types of people.

Miya: Thank you, I really try to speak about this. It’s honestly something I hope is talked about more. Everyone in the world is different. Some may have different needs, situations, traditions, preferences, or anything like that, but no one deserves to be left out. No one deserves to be disrespected for having different music tastes, ages, or places of origin. Honestly, the only time a person deserves to be disrespected is if they themselves are disrespectful, but I still think handling things in a more diplomatic approach would be better. To those reading this interview, violence is not the answer. (laughs)

You’ve even scolded ARMY on lives when things seem to get a little rough on the internet. What made you do this?

Miya: Oh, yeah. (laughs) Is it weird that I scolded them? I don’t think so. It just gets a little too much on the internet, sometimes. I don’t really see the need for it, though. Everyone just wants to enjoy their music, no matter how different everyone’s personal taste is. Simple, if you don’t listen to what someone else listens to, then life goes on. If someone doesn’t listen to what you like listening to, then life is still going on. Is there a need to fight when you can just take all your energy and focus it on the things that make you happy and give you comfort?

There are people, however, who disrespect ARMY as well as your music quite often. What do you think of these people? What can you say to them?

Miya: I guess thank you for letting us occupy your thoughts even for just a little bit. It means we had some sort of impact on you.

You don’t think they’re bad people?

Miya: Well, it’s not like they committed some type of crime worthy enough of sending them to prison for years. Besides, it’s not like people who are mean, for lack of better words, to us are mean to everyone. It’s not like they can’t go through self-cultivation and learn to handle their dislikes better. Keep in mind, we also don’t know their situations. They could be going through something that makes them release through doing things like leaving bad comments or picking fights on the internet. I’m not saying we should excuse them, I’m just saying that I understand, and I hope things get better for them.

This is why you have the image as the Confucius of Kpop.

Miya: People say that? Why have I never heard of this? (laughs) Oh no, I feel like people are going to think of me as a moral compass... I’m not! I stay up late, I cheat on diets, I used to sneak out of the dorm and hotels before the whole virus situation. Please don’t expect much of me. I’m just a normal 21-year-old. Oh wait, I’m still 19 to the rest of the world, right?

At such a young age, you’ve already achieved so much. Is there anything you would like to tell your younger self?

Miya: There’s a lot of things I’d like to tell my younger self, but I think the thing I’d emphasize to her is that things will get better. Younger me had a pretty rough time, which may seem weird to say considering I’m not actually old. Little Yoonmi struggled, though. She was exhausted in more ways than one, so I want her to know that things will get better for her. That she’ll end up doing what she loves surrounded by people who love her and will be by her side for a long time.

You’ve really come a long way.

Miya: I’d like to think that I did. I mean, I dedicated my life to this career path around eleven years ago, and I’ve grown as a person in the past eleven years. There were highs and lows, but here I am. I’m pretty happy.

How is it that you’ve still managed to keep the same personality you’ve had back in your debut years all the way until now?

Miya: I don’t actually know. (laughs) Having my members around me all the time kind of just reminds me of trainee days and the times we weren’t, well, big yet. I guess seeing them keeps the same thoughts in my head. I’m doing music with some of my favorite people in the world. We’re working hard. We want to show our colors to the world. You know, those kinds of things. Plus the familiarity of everything! Do you know they still treat me like I’m a child?

Your members do tend to forget you’re an adult. How does this affect the recording progress when it’s you working as the recording and production engineer?

Miya: That’s different, you can say. The oppas are professional, and they acknowledge me as someone who knows what works for the song. When they have something they want to try out and change, they speak to me the way they do to our producers. Sure, the oppas do it a lit when we’re messing around, but no one has ever pulled the age card in the middle of production. It was pretty weird at first, but we got used to it. Besides, it’s not like I have an iron grip on everything. I mostly just lay the foundation on tracks I work on, the oppas build on everything.

Were there ever times where you felt like you couldn’t express your opinion to the others due to the age gap?

Miya: These questions are so strange. (laughs) Of course, back when I was new to the company. Yoongi oppa started teaching me that it was okay to speak my thoughts, though, and the oppas all respect my opinions as well. It’s nice because I grew up being shot down every time I tried to express my own thoughts before I met the oppas. From them, I learned that I deserve respect as well, even if I am quite a bit younger.

The older members seem to have influenced you a lot.

Miya: That is true. They practically raised me, so I guess it’s inevitable that I adapted quite a lot of traits and thoughts from them. It’s nice though because they raised me in a way where they ask me how I think as well, so I was able to form my own opinions rather than just go along with what they say. Given, I may be a little... stubborn with my thoughts, but I like it that they were pretty open to letting me think on my own and that they only stepped in when I had a really hard time or asked them for help.

The members really raised you well. Despite that, though, there were conflicts within the group. Some stories were vaguely shared in other interviews, yeah? How did you deal with these conflicts?

Miya: (laughs) Sorry, I get amused every time someone brings up any of our fights. It depends. Sometimes we’d have a group meeting right away. Sometimes we’d let our heads cool off for a while before talking then having a group meeting. Oh, now that I think of it, group meetings are the key. It really helps a lot to be able to sit and talk about things and sometimes get an outsider’s point of view if the conflict is between two or a few members.

Are there any stories from recently that led to you having group meetings? Maybe from the preparation of BTS 2021 MUSTER SOWOOJOO or “Butter”?

Miya: Nothing really too big, but I can remember when we were discussing the encore outfits for SOWOOJOO. I really wanted to wear our pajama merchandise instead of the shirts and the jackets. (laughs) I thought it would be funny, especially since I’m sure there would be ARMY wearing pajamas while watching as well. Namjoonie oppa told me that it would be better if I wear the pajamas on a live instead of the concert, so that’s what I did! With Ggukoo oppa, as well!

I watched your recent live. Your pajamas looked really good. Anyway, you and Jungkook played other Kpop artists’ songs as well, which is something that idols don’t really do. You tend to do that every time you go live, actually.

Miya: Thank you! It took me forever to convince him to wear the pajamas with me. Also yeah, of course I’d play other groups’ songs! It’s not any different from playing western artists’ songs, anyway. I think people tend to have this huge misconception of us that because we’re too busy with our own music that we don’t listen to anyone else. That’s completely false! I’m constantly trying to broaden my music taste, so I experiment by listening to different artists. There is also the fact that I’m supporting my friends, my brother, and, well, my boyfriend. (laughs)

Don’t you think ARMY want to hear your songs on your lives?

Miya: Maybe, but I also want to share what I’ve been listening to with them. It’s a little like an exchange between friends. For example, I introduced Troye Sivan music to Ggukoo oppa back then, and he introduced me to Lauv’s music. It’s similar to that with me sharing my music taste to ARMY. It’s nice to see them sharing their own recommendations as well in the comments and on Weverse.

You have a very close and friendly relationship with ARMY, don’t you?

Miya: I like to think so. (laughs) They’re very sweet to me, so it’s only right that I’m very sweet to them as well. I like making it feel like it’s easy to reach me. I like reading their stories and replying on Weverse. ARMY are my friends, and no one can tell me otherwise!

What’s one instance which shows of your closeness with ARMY?

Miya: Oh! I used to release an Among Us code online and play with ARMY thrice a week! I would continue it, but I’ve been preoccupied with other things. (laughs) I just remembered. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this, but everyone already knows, anyway. I like going online and finding what ARMY talks about and whatever is trending with them, then I bring it up on Weverse or V LIVE and watch them panic over how I found out. It’s funny, but they do tell more stories or react under my oosts or in the comments, so it’s nice.

Is there any side of yourself you want to show them that you don’t think they know yet?

Miya: I... I don’t think there’s a side of my personality that they haven’t seen yet. They know so many things about me, some embarrassing stuff, too. I guess there isn’t anything much to expose about myself. Oh, in terms of performance! I constantly want to show a better side of myself, so I’ll be working hard on that. Maybe I’ll try a new genre of music or just come back with a better performance level, I don’t know.

I’m sure ARMY will be looking forward to your future stages. Thank you for the interview, Miya.

Miya: Thank you as well! It was a pleasure!

I really enjoyed that live, by the way. You should do more of those, and with your dogs, too.

Miya: Oh, you think so? (laughs) As long as I have time, why not?

Credit

Article. Myungseok Kang

Interview. Myungseok Kang

Visual Director. Yurim Jeon

Project Management. Yejin Lee

Visual Creative Team. Sunkyoung Lee, Yeonhwa Cha(BIGHIT MUSIC)

Photography. LESS / Assist. Hyungsang Kim, Donghoon Park

Hair. Som Han, Mujin Choi, Daeun Lee, Leeyoung Lim

Makeup. Dareum Kim, Seonmin Kim, Yuri Seo

Stylist. Hajeong Lee, Hyesoo Kim, Heeji Seo, Jihoon Lee, Minji Son

Set Design. Seoyun Choi, Yehui Son, Ayeong Kim(darak)

Artist Protocol Team. Jingu Jang, Subin Kim, Jungmin Lee, Dasol Ahn, Juntae Park, Seungbyeong Lee, Hyeonki Lee, Daeseong Jeong, Jaekeun Song

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Honey & Sweetheart

Spoilers for Season 15x20 finale

Summary: The reader talks to Jensen and a special friend about struggling with parts of the finale...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1,700ish

Warnings: language, spoilers

A/N: I wrote this one more for me than anyone else but if you feel similarly to how I do, I hope it helps you a bit like it did for me...

______

“Honey,” said Jensen as you stared out the window over the kitchen sink. “Oven’s going off.”

You spun and heard the beeping from the timer but he was already pulling on oven gloves. He took out the dish and set it on the counter, taking off the mitts with a strange look.

“Y/N. Are you okay?” he asked. You shrugged and he stepped behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist. “Still thinking about the finale?”

“It was a few days ago,” you said.

“Honey. I thought you said you liked it Thursday night.”

“Oh course I said I liked it. This thing has been a part of you for so long. You’ve been with the show longer than we’ve even known each other. I am so proud of you and the guys and everything you did.”

“But.”

“But I’m so angry and sad at what they did to Dean. I wish I’d asked you to tell me the end over a year ago when you found out instead me wanting to be surprised. I’m so mad because there was a sign all over your face about how it would go and I ignored it because I thought you were upset they would both live quiet normal lives and not go out blaze of glory. I should have said something. I would have called somebody.”

“Honey no one would have listened,” he sighed. “That was the ending always.”

“They should have listened to what you thought about it.”

“It was decided before I walked in the room.”

“I get it. It’s just not fair you had to do what they said with no say of your own. No one on earth knows Dean better than you and they ignored you and that’s wrong.”

“I’m not a writer, Y/N. I didn’t have a good idea.”

“Why the fuck did we just make a production company if you don’t have the ability to come up with ideas then?” you shot back. He stepped away and started to walk out of the kitchen when he paused. “I’m sorry. I know you had no choice. I’m sorry you’re telling me it’s okay as much as I’m telling you lately. I should be taking care of you. He deserved so fucking better though.”

“I know he did,” said Jensen quietly. “I know some people liked it. Some hated it. The general consensus I’ve gotten one or the other is that yeah, most agree he deserved better. I knew he did. But it’s done and I can’t change it.”

“I know, honey,” you said. You nodded and he stepped closer again, resting his hands on your arms and cocking his head.

“Sweetheart,” he said, voice lower and you looked up at him. You stared and he smiled. 

“Jensen don’t-”

“That’s not my name,” he said, still smirking at you. “You do realize I’m like right here, sweetheart. Anytime you want me I’m right here.”

“No you’re not. You died a stupid death. I would have taken a stabbing, a bite, a shot, a sacrifice, so many other ways. A fucking accidental death for you was stupid. Some think it’s poetic and realistic but I don’t,” you said. He shrugged and you bit your bottom lip. 

“You were always gonna be upset if I died though.”

“Because your character grew the fuck up and knew he could have more in life. You should have gotten to have more than a dog for a week. You deserved everything Sam got too. I deserved to see that was Eileen he ended up with. I deserved to see that Cas and everyone Dean cared about was in his eventual heaven when he was an old, old man. I deserved so much better than a premature death.”

“I was forty one.”

“Jensen’s forty two. So if he keels over I’m supposed to say aw shucks he lived long enough, it’s cool? I wanted you to have everything you fucking deserve. What was the fucking point of you growing all that time for you to die from fucking rebar on a run of the mill hunt? You died just like you thought you would as a kid and I fucking hate that. Just because it is how you thought you would go out does not mean it-”

He leaned down and kissed you hard, resting his forehead against yours as he broke off.

“I never said it was a perfect ending, sweetheart. Write your own story. Write how I come back. Take it from me, I know a guy, hot guy, you may be acquainted with him and he really wants to come back in a few years once he’s gotten some space. He wants to take more control if that happens. He will he promises. He wants someone that cares as much as he does to help him figure that out. So you gonna help him out and figure out that perfect ending for me? That way to bring me back? You know this world. We break the rules all the time. You could have me back in a heartbeat. What do you say? Gonna help him and his friends out?”

“Yes,” you said quietly. 

“I know you see yourself in me, sweetheart. I know you look up to me. I’ve heard from our mutual friend,” he said. You turned your head away and felt tears build up again for the millionth time in the past week. His fingers grazed your cheek and turned you back to face him. “So I deserved better. I deserved a long and happy life. Just because I deserved it and didn’t get it doesn’t mean that your story ends up like mine.”

You blinked and he smiled, stroking your cheek.

“You can have your happy ending. Keep going towards it. Don’t ever stop. You deserve your happy ending too. But you’re writing your story. You can take control in a way I couldn’t. You deserve happiness and you’ll get it. Don’t be scared it’ll go away, sweetheart.”

“I hadn’t thought of that until just now,” you breathed out.

“I know. Don’t be scared for you is all I ask. Go figure out my comeback story and figure out how to give me some kickass hunter wife and I get the kids and house and whole nine yards. You figure that out for me cause you need it and I’m not opposed to it. In the meantime, I’m gonna hang around with our mutual friend. Well I’m always gonna be around him but I’ll be around if you want to talk. Just say so. I’m gonna tag along the ride of his happiness for now okay?”

“You’re such a dork,” you said as you nodded and rested your head against his chest. “But I fucking love you. Both of you.”

“I know you do, sweetheart,” he said. “I’m okay. I promise. I want you to be too. If our friend tries to take care of you, do me a favor and let him? He’s not the only one allowed to feel so strongly about this.”

“Okay, Dean,” you said with a smile. “I think I feel better now.”

“It’s okay, honey,” said Jensen, his voice lighter as you hugged him.

“Thanks for doing that. I needed it,” you said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he chuckled. “But maybe listen to our friend. He made some good points.”

“I’ll still be upset about it all, maybe forever, but I’ll be okay,” you said. He kissed your temple and you shut your eyes, holding onto him. “Would it bother you if I honestly said there was parts of it I didn’t like at this moment?”

“It’d only bother me if you pretended to like it because you think that’d make me happy. You can support me and be proud of me without loving 100% of it. I have my own thoughts and opinions on it all, you can have yours too...plus I wouldn’t mind seeing your way of mixing it all up...you gonna pull the boys out of heaven?”

“Maybe. A few years from now, if you’re ever really serious about what you said, own it. Make those choices yourself.”

“Yes mam,” he said, kissing you again. “Want to go see if the new coat rack I put up in the mudroom earlier looks alright? I think I really nailed it.”

You stared at him and he giggled as he broke away.

“Too soon. So too soon,” you said as he pulled you with him towards the far side of the house.

“You cry and stress bake. I use bad humor and talking to Dean to cope. We all got out methods,” he said. “But seriously, I think I nailed it.”

“Jensen. You need to stop.”

“I’m gonna take a selfie with it and make that joke on instagram. Everyone’s gonna love that,” he chuckled.

“You need to calm down with the shitty jokes on instagram young man,” you laughed as he spun you around.

“You laughed. I won,” he said, booping your nose. “Thanks for telling me how you really feel about the end though. The end for now at least.”

“Just gotta keep teasing me with that don’t you,” you smiled.

“Not a tease, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink. “Maybe we can get Dean with a beard and some swearing, what do you say?”

“Maybe I could get a preview of that?” you asked.

“You certainly fucking can,” he smirked, voice low again.

“Oh yeah, that’s definitely on the list,” you laughed. He cocked his head and kissed you gently, picking you up off the ground. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Y/N.”

______

[blu-joons]

You Look After Him Whilst He Films A Programme ~ Exo Reaction

Suho:

The flashes of the cameras instantly made you tense up as you pulled up outside of the red carpet for the first showing of The Universe’s Star. “You alright?” Junmyeon questioned, spotting the panic in your eyes.

Your head nodded, straightening out your outfit. “It’s just a little bit overwhelming, I thought a few of your fans would be here, but not this many.”

“If it’s too much, I’d understand if you want to go home,” he smiled, pressing his hand against the small of your back. “I didn’t think it would be this big either.”

“No,” you smiled, glancing down the red carpet. “I want to be here to support you, I saw first-hand how hard you worked on this programme, I’m not missing the chance to finally be able to see some of the stuff you’ve been up to.”

His own smile grew, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll stay right beside you all night long, I’m just glad you’re here.”

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” you assured him, “you’ve worked hard, and I’m so excited to be able to watch.”

“I just hope it lives up to your high expectations.”

Xiumin:

His eyes lit up as he spotted you stood behind the cameras that were filming as the director yelled for a break to be taken. “What are you doing here?” He chuckled, weaving around the staff to be able to see you.

Straight away, you handed the bag you were holding to him. “I thought you could do with some food seeing as you’re working so hard.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” he appreciatively smiled, taking a look inside. “You bought my favourite too, you’re full of the best surprises sometimes jagi.”

“I wanted to come and see too,” you chuckled, taking a good look around the set. “I can’t believe you get to work somewhere as nice as this. How’s all of it going? Are you going to become a megastar actor at the end of this?”

His eyes widened, “I’m already a megastar,” he teased, “but why don’t you stay this afternoon and watch a bit?”

“Are you sure no one will mind?” You quizzed, but his head shook straight away. “I’d love to stay and watch you Minseok.”

“Then it’s settled, I’ll set up a spot for you.”

Lay:

You could feel Yixing’s proud eyes looking at you as he watched what you’d done with the trainees to try and choreograph their routine. “You did good,” he smiled once the cameras finally stopped rolling on you both.

You smiled appreciatively in his direction, “well when they’ve got several other coaches who work them so well, my job becomes pretty easy.”

“You’re amazing on your own, not any of the other coaches,” he assured you, taking a step off the set away from the trainees. “How are you really finding it here?”

“It’s fun,” you assured him, glancing around the room once again. “It’s certainly hard working with trainees again, but it’s fun seeing them work their way up from the bottom, reminds me what we were like a few years ago.”

His head nodded, resting a hand against your waist. “I forget sometimes that this is what my life was like a decade ago.”

“At least we can give them a lot of tips,” you added, “I’m sure there’s plenty of things you know not to do as a trainee too.”

“There were a few things I picked up on in my time at the dorm.”

Baekhyun:

Your smile grew as the producer introduced you to the team that you’d be working with on set. “Baekhyun,” a confident voice introduced himself, pulling you into a tight hug whilst you offered your hand to shake.

You could only chuckle at the tight hold he had on you. “You don’t need to introduce yourself, I even listened to your music on the way here.”

“So, you’re a fan?” He proudly quizzed, pressing his palms together. “I was already looking forward to working with you, but now I am even more.”

“I’ll be very professional,” you assured him, making sure everyone on the set heard you. “Although if you want to tell me some secrets about Exo when the cameras cut off, I’ll be more than happy to hear your stories.”

Baekhyun chuckled, nodding his head, “I’m sure I can let you in on a few secrets, as long as you give me a few acting tips.”

“I’m sure you don’t need any tips from me,” you complimented, “I’ve seen you act before; I know you’re really good.”

“I bet I’m not as good as you, though.”

Chen:

You felt your stomach drop as you saw several photos of you, taken at the King of Masked Singer set be posted all over social media. “You good?” Chen questioned, noticing how you suddenly fell silent beside him.

You handed your phone across to him, “what if they figure out that I’m here because of you? Everyone will know that it’s you behind the mask.”

“You could just be here for a guest appearance,” he suggested, trying to find the positives. “It’s not like there’s any sign of me on the photos.”

“True,” you sighed, studying across the photos one final time. “I thought I was so secretive coming into the studio, I didn’t even spot any fans stood around, they must be incredible at hiding to not be seen.”

Chen’s hand rested over yours, “there’s no point in worrying, if people do think it’s me, they’ve got no actual proof that it is me.”

“Who else would I come here to support?” You quizzed, brushing your hands through your hair, “I think I’ve messed this up for you.”

“You haven’t, I promise you, nothing is wrong.”

Chanyeol:

Your eyes peeled open as finally Chanyeol came home from a long day of filming So, I Married an Anti-Fan. “Hi,” he whispered, noticing that you were asleep, “you didn’t need to wait up for me, you should have gone to bed.”

Your head shook, stretching your arms up, “I wanted to stay up and check on you when you got home to make sure you were doing alright.”

“I’m good,” he smiled, taking a seat beside your figure, “the filming just went on a little longer than any of us imagined tonight.”

“That’s good though,” you smiled, moving across the sofa to curl into his side. “It shows that everyone cares, and they want the show to be perfect, they could have just settled, but instead they knew you could do better.”

Chanyeol’s head nodded at your words, “it doesn’t change the fact that I was desperate to get back here and come and see you though.”

“You’re home now,” you cheered, letting go of a yawn, “even if it is a little better than you had hoped to be back here.”

“I reckon now I’m home you head to bed.”

D.O.:

Your eyes widened as an email popped up on your laptop screen. You called Kyungsoo through, knowing what the only thing it could be was. “Open it,” he cheered, standing beside you with his hands on your shoulders.

Reluctantly, you opened up the email. “Congratulations,” you read out, “you’ve been cast to be a part of 100 Days of My Prince.”

“I knew it!” Kyungsoo yelled, pressing several kisses against your cheek. “I can’t believe we actually get to work on a programme together.”

“It feels like a dream,” you blushed, reading through the email yet again, just to be sure. “I was convinced they wouldn’t hire me, I thought maybe they wouldn’t want both of us on set, their faces when I told we were dating were horrible.”

Kyungsoo’s smile widened, “I told you that you shouldn’t put yourself down, your talent was the thing that got you cast.”

“And now we get to work together for the foreseeable future too,” you grinned, “that’s easily the best part out of all of this.”

“I’m excited to get spend every day with you now.”

Kai:

When you heard rumour that Jongin would be featuring on your show, you refused to believe it. That was until you walked onto set and saw him stood with his manager. “Hi,” he smiled as you walked past him.

Your eyes looked back, smiling back at him. “Hi,” you blushed, “it’s nice to meet you, I’m Y/N. I’m playing the main character.”

“I know,” he chuckled, “don’t worry I’ve done plenty of research on the show, and also a bit about you too, I wanted to get to know you.”

“Oh,” you stuttered, feeling your cheeks turn a dark shade of red. “I’m in a little bit of shock right now if I’m honest, I thought the producers were playing a joke on us when they said that you’d be making a guest appearance.”

Kai’s head nodded, “well hopefully out of all the guests you’ve had on, I can be the best first kiss that your character has.”

“There’s been a good few here already,” you teased, “but I’m sure you’ll do the job well, I’ve got high hopes for you.”

“That’s definitely a lot of pressure on me now.”

Sehun:

His brows knitted together as he walked into his dressing room, noticing several snacks laid out on the table. He followed the trial that was there until he saw you sat in his chair. “What’s this?” He chuckled, walking over to hug you.

You stood up from the chair, placing your arms around his waist. “I thought I’d come and see what you get up to, if that’s alright?”

“Of course,” he nervously giggled, pressing his palms to your cheeks. “I can show you all around if you want, there’s plenty going on today on set.”

“That would be cool,” you smiled, struggling to contain your excitement at the thought of seeing Sehun on set. “I’ve had good things about you and the production, so they better live up to my expectations now.”

Sehun nudged your hips gently, “I promise you’ll love it. I think To the Beautiful has been my favourite programme I’ve been on.”

“It’s certainly been the one I’ve noticed you smile the most with,” you pointed out, “I can tell you’re enjoying yourself.”

“I really am having the best time here.”

---

Masterlist

[alarajrogers]

Everything Makes Sense: The Human Body and Energy

I wrote a thing. It is a very long thing. It probably contains very little information that most people didn’t already know, but it puts it together in a way I’ve never seen it before.

Most of it will be behind the cut but you get the first few paragraphs out here where you can see them.

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Everything Makes Sense: The Human Body and Energy

So you know how you read all this bullshit about “X improves your energy” and “Y gives you quick energy but then you crash” and “Z improves your metabolism” and it all just sounds like words? Technobabble from the world of science fiction television shows?

It may surprise you to know that practically everything you’ve ever personally observed about energy levels makes sense, as do a lot of the layperson observations you’ve heard in your life, and that there are really good reasons why being sick makes you sleepy and why exercising hard on weekends when you’re a slug all week is bad for you, and that all of this is very understandable from a layperson perspective. Or maybe not, maybe you know all this. I’ve spent years knowing all this, but recently it just dawned on me that it’s all interconnected.  All the things I know are pieces of an amazing whole.

So I’m going to explain this revelation I’ve had, and when you read it, my guess is you’ll come away thinking “But I knew all that already… but now I understand how it all works together!”

Metabolism

First, let’s talk about metabolism. What is it?

We usually use the term to mean something like “the speed at which my body does the things I’m not consciously controlling it to do.” Like, “I have a really fast metabolism, so food just runs right through me!” Or “I have a very slow metabolism so I have to be real careful about how much I drink.”

To metabolize means for a living thing to process something it has ingested. Metabolism is usually used to mean the process of converting food and nutrients into energy. Sometimes we use it to mean the levels of efficiency or speed at which a body does this, which is where we get “a fast metabolism”. Here, I’m going to try to use metabolism specifically to mean the process by which your body converts stuff to energy.

Life Energy

No, a vampire from an alien planet can’t suck it out of you, but you really do have life energy! Otherwise, you wouldn’t be alive.

The fundamental molecule of life energy, the thing that if it wasn’t there no life processes would be possible because they would not have any energy to work, is a battery called ATP. Its full name, adenosine triphosphate, is a bit of a mouthful, but it basically means that this is a molecule with three phosphorus atoms.

You may have learned in chemistry class, once upon a time, that chemical reactions can be endothermic – they use up energy – or exothermic – they emit energy. Fire is an exothermic reaction; you get it started with heat, usually, but it generates a lot more heat than it took to make it burn in the first place. Your baking soda and vinegar volcano from the science fair a long time ago is also an exothermic reaction. You didn’t put any energy into it to make it bubble like that. On the other hand, melting ice is endothermic. You don’t get any energy when ice melts. It uses up energy to melt.

When ATP releases one of its phosphorus atoms, it becomes ADP – adenosine diphosphate, meaning just two phosphorus atoms! This is an exothermic reaction. ATP turning into ADP is what powers pretty much every single endothermic reaction in your cells. It’s the battery that you run on.

Charging the Battery

Fortunately ADP is rechargeable! An endothermic reaction turns it back into ATP.

The mitochondria do this. You may be thinking, “aren’t they something the lady who wrote A Wrinkle In Time made up?” And you’d be close. The mitochondria appeared in the sequel to A Wrinkle in Time, A Wind in the Door. Madeleine L’Engle didn’t make them up, but she did make up “farandolae”, little creatures in the mitochondria, which don’t exist as far as we know. (Although, if scientists do discover little thingies in the mitochondria that let it do its work, they’ll probably name them farandolae because scientists are big geeks.)

Mitochondria in reality are organelles, components of a cell that do work. They’re independent organelles, which have their own DNA and do all their own reproduction. The only other things we know that work like that are chloroplasts, which are only found in plants… so far. (Personally I think being able to photosynthesize from my skin would be awesome and I am eagerly awaiting the day that genetic engineering allows us to put chloroplasts in human skin, but this isn’t a thing yet.)

Mitochondria combine glucose – a molecule made of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen, in the formula C6H12O6 – with oxygen, an element that comprises about 22% of our atmosphere, to create carbon dioxide (there’s that di again, meaning two – carbon dioxide is one carbon and two oxygens), water (our old favorite, H2O, sometimes called “dihydrogen monoxide” as a joke about weird chemical names), and enough energy to put a phosphorus atom on a molecule of ADP. Now it’s ATP again! Glucose and oxygen combine in an exothermic reaction.

(Ever wonder why all life on earth depends on the sun? Converting CO2 and H2O into glucose and oxygen is an endothermic reaction. Plants use their chloroplasts to absorb energy from the sun so they can convert CO2 and water into glucose and oxygen. Then animals, like us, eat the plants to get the glucose, and breathe the oxygen. Without the sun, chloroplasts wouldn’t work, plants wouldn’t make glucose, and we’d all starve.)

The Basic Things We Need For This To Work

There are a lot of components going into this system.

The mitochondria need a steady supply of oxygen, but oxygen, being a highly reactive molecule, can’t just float around in the bloodstream like glucose can. (Glucose is iffy too, more on this later.) Hemoglobin, a molecule made with iron, bonds to oxygen and can carry it around safely. Red blood cells are full of hemoglobin. They float in the bloodstream, which goes everywhere in the body. Vitamin B12 is involved in the production of these red blood cells. The bloodstream also carries glucose, but hopefully not too much of it, because glucose is also a reactive molecule and if you have too much, it starts tearing shit up.

The lungs draw in the oxygen that the red blood cells carry, and expel the carbon dioxide. The heart forces the blood to go around and around in this system of blood vessels. The pancreas makes insulin, the hormone that binds up the glucose and regulates how much of it is available in your bloodstream for your cells to take. The speed with which all of this happens can be regulated by thyroid hormone, which requires iodine, and also a working thyroid.

You need all that and a million other things for the system to work perfectly. If the system does not work perfectly, you’re not making as much energy as you could be. That’s pretty obvious.

But here is the thing that’s obvious once you spell it out, and yet, we so often behave, as a society, like we don’t understand it or don’t believe it:

An optimized system still puts out a finite amount of energy at any given time.

If you were in perfect health, right now, you would still have a limited supply of life energy to work with.

We know this. But we behave as if it’s not true. As if we can power through exhaustion with willpower, because being exhausted is a flaw in the system, rather than a really obvious application of the laws of thermodynamics.

What Uses All That Energy?

We also often don’t think about the systems that use those energy, and what they use it for.

The Brain:

The brain is a huge energy hog, using up a whopping 20-25% of all of the body’s energy while awake and conscious (or dreaming – a dreaming mind is as active as a conscious one.) Asleep (but not in REM sleep), the brain still uses about 85% of that, which, lemme do some math here, is 17% if the waking mind was using 20%. A living being can drop to about 50% of that with certain types of anesthesia, but that – the minimum required for a brain to keep a body alive – is still 10% of total energy consumption.

It's not clear how much energy on top of that a very active brain needs. Estimates of how much energy complex and difficult thought consume range from 100 calories a day to 6000! It’s plainly not much on top of basic consciousness, or there’d be no such thing as a fat person doing highly intellectual work all the time, but it’s evident that it’s something.

The Muscles:

We all know about this one. Hard-working muscles use up a lot of energy. How much? Well, swimming, one of the few activities we do that can fully engage the leg muscles and the arm muscles to the same high level at the same time, can burn as much as a quarter of a normal daily intake of calories in a single hour. Most of the time our muscles are not working that hard, but anything more strenuous than vegging out on a couch does burn resources.

The Immune System:

This guy. This guy is the one everyone forgets. The immune system is hard at work all the time protecting you from infections (and, if you’re one of the zillions of people who have allergies or autoimmune disorders, things like cat dander, pollen, and yourself apparently), but when an infection has actually taken hold, the immune system goes into high gear. Most of the responses you experience when you’re sick – nausea, coughing, sneezing, runny or stuffy nose, fever – are actually things the immune system is doing to you to get rid of the infection. Nausea, to expel it through the mouth. Diarrhea, to expel it through the anus. Coughing, to expel it from the lungs, and sneezing, to expel it from the sinus cavities. Mucus, to trap it so it can be expelled. Fever, to kill it, because germs are a lot more sensitive to temperature variation than you, a large multi-celled creature, are. It takes a lot of energy to do all that. Plus there’s white blood cells and T cells and antibodies, all doing their thing.

The Digestive System:

Ever hear the expression “It takes money to make money?” That’s true of life energy as well. The work of moving your food all along the gastrointestinal tract, breaking it down, squeezing and mushing it, making the enzymes to convert it to molecules small enough to get out into the bloodstream, and then pushing the waste out – that’s a lot of effort. There’s no such thing as a free lunch!

The Reproductive System:

Making sperm costs energy. Making a lining for an egg and then expelling it if it’s not used costs energy. Firing up the hormones that cause libido costs energy. And then there’s all the energy burned by the muscles in actually having sex.

Heart and Lungs:

Typically we don’t think of these things as needing a lot of energy because, quite simply, your body’s going to take the energy it needs to run these essential systems whether you want to or not. There’s no re-allocation of baseline energy away from the heart and lungs. But in exercise, when the oxygen demands and the needs of the muscle cells to get more and more fuel increase, the heart and lungs need more energy too.

This is a rough breakdown. You have other systems – we haven’t talked about kidneys and liver and stuff like that – but we’re going to look at these systems in our simplified model.

Everything takes energy. And you have a finite pool of it. Eating more food does not give you more energy – your mitochondria can only work as fast as they can work. If you weren’t at capacity, then yes, food can give you a boost, but it consumes energy first because digestion is work, and if you’re at capacity, any extra calories get stuffed away as fat because extra circulating glucose is bad for you.

By the way, this is why sugar gives you a quick pick-me-up, and should probably be considered a stimulant! Sugar – sucrose, which is basically 2 glucose molecules smushed together, or fructose, which is glucose but in a different shape – supplies your bloodstream with glucose fast, with very little extra work. And it can start doing it in your mouth, because your saliva can break sucrose into glucose and your mucuous membranes can pull glucose into your bloodstream.

But as soon as you start ingesting sugar, your pancreas revs up your insulin production (assuming you don’t have diabetes, or that if you do, it’s type II and not so advanced that you basically don’t have your own insulin anymore.) Insulin, you may recall, is the hormone that keeps circulating glucose levels in your bloodstream down to the levels where the mitochondria can use all of it and there isn’t a lot extra. Extra glucose that nobody is using damages your blood vessels, making them harder and less elastic, which is why circulation problems are a big thing with diabetes, and why my feet are SO FUCKING COLD all winter, not that I’m bitter or anything.

So. You ate sugar, and your body prepared to balance your glucose levels with a lot of insulin. But then all you ate was sugar. You didn’t add fats or proteins or complex carbohydrates in any significant amounts to keep the glucose coming after the initial burst was over. So now you have all this insulin and it went and picked up all the extra glucose and now you know what? Not only is there no extra glucose anymore, there isn’t even enough to keep the home fires burning! Woo, dizzy. Low blood sugar hits the brain hard, because the brain is the energy hog, and feels any dip in energy levels before any other body systems do.

In short, you may have given yourself a quick burst of extra fuel, but in the long run, it may actually make your energy levels drop. And if you ate a substantial meal to go with that quick snack… now we have to send power to the digestive system. And that is why eating more food does not give you more energy unless you’re starving. (Or diabetic, more on this later.)

Energy Trade-offs:

You know the drill. Finite amount of energy. Many systems competing for it. Brain takes the most. So what happens when one system suddenly needs extra?

1.       Complex thought shuts down.

I know you’ve experienced this. You’re overtired, or you’ve just done hard exercise, or you have eaten a big meal, or you are sick. You can no longer brain at the levels you expect. Study? Maybe, but retention and comprehension will suuuuck. Math? Probably not. Reading? Depending on how difficult reading in general is for you, maybe this is just the thing, but the topic’s going to be light and easy to comprehend, like fiction, or maybe this article here that you’re reading. Or, maybe reading’s out of the picture. Watching TV? For most people, this is ideal, but if you’re autistic and have an auditory processing disorder and facial recognition issues, hoo boy. Not that I know anybody like that, or anything.

2.       Muscles need to be at rest.

Muscles don’t have to move a lot. You could be sitting on a couch. You could be laying in a lawn chair. You’re awake, but you don’t want to move your muscles because it’s hard.

When what you lack to burn your fuel is not glucose, but oxygen, you can get by sometimes. As long as there’s some oxygen. But the byproduct of making energy without enough oxygen is called lactic acid. Which is acid, and it’s in your muscles. Not good! Nobody likes extra acid in places where extra acid shouldn’t be. So your muscles burn. The good news is, the body breaks down lactic acid pretty fast. The bad news is, you may be building it up faster than the body can break it down.

Hard exercise? You’re gonna feel the burn. But you may run into this same problem attempting to walk to the bathroom if you’re very very sick, because all the energy has been re-routed to the immune system, so there’s nothing there for the muscles.

3.       Consciousness itself shuts off.

The unconscious brain still consumes a lot of energy, but we’re cutting what we can, and you being conscious is not helping here. Shut down anything we don’t immediately need to use. That includes consciousness.

If you are bleeding out and there’s not enough blood in your body to carry the fuel –

If your blood pressure is low or your heart has stopped working and so the fuel isn’t moving fast enough to where it needs to be –

If your circulating glucose is too low because there’s too much damn insulin –

If there isn’t enough water in the body, so blood pressure drops because blood is mostly water –

If you have a fever, which makes all the chemical reactions in your body go kind of screwy and inefficient –

-- You pass out. You cannot remain conscious because your body has to cut services to keep the whole thing going, and this is how.

Sometimes stupid shit triggers this reaction. Like vasovagal syncope, which can happen from triggers like extreme emotional stress or the sight of blood. Like getting blood drawn (which is probably also vasovagal syncope but seems to have a more physiological basis than some of the other things that can cause it, given that it can occur in people who are absolutely cheerful and fascinated by the fact that blood is leaving their body and not upset about it at all. Not that I would know anything about that, either.)

4.       Or, you are highly encouraged to shut down consciousness.

The digestive system is hard at work. There’s no emergency, per se, but this work would get done a lot faster and with less stress if you would just go the fuck to sleep. Thus, “carb coma” or what the cartoon “The Boondocks” called “The Itis.”

The immune system is busting its ass. Things aren’t so serious that you need to pass out. Falling asleep vs. fainting is kind of like shutting down your computer vs. suddenly losing power. You definitely want to go to sleep if the situation is not dire enough to require immediate shutdown of consciousness.

Your body needs to run nightly maintenance. Several systems that operate in low gear when you’re awake need to rev up, and your brain actually needs to do some shit to organize your memories while you’re not recording new ones, and extra energy is needed for the immune system because it’s doing nightly sweeps. Or something like that. We don’t really understand everything that sleep does for us, but we know that if we don’t get it:

-          The pancreas doesn’t work right, resulting in getting fat and maybe diabetes

-          Also high blood pressure

-          Also memories are kind of shit

-          Also the immune system doesn’t work too well

We don’t actually know how your brain would operate without sleep if it wasn’t saturated with the “go the fuck to sleep” chemical GABA, which is broken down while you’re sleeping. GABA does a lot of things, but in this context, GABA builds up in your body to send the signal to your brain to stop using so much damn energy and sleep already. And if you attempt to function mentally with high GABA levels… well, you can’t, okay? Your brain is full of GABA receptors that tell it to turn things off. So those things are turning off. How well does your computer run when it's in the middle of shutting down? I thought so.

(Actually we kind of do. There are chemicals that block tiredness. People who use these chemicals can function on significantly less sleep at significantly higher cognitive levels than people who are not on these chemicals. But the stuff like the high blood pressure, the diabetes, the immune system weakening… all that appears to still be happening. Sleep happens for a reason.)

5.       Other systems that are highly dependent on energy levels shut down.

 -          Exercised your ass off? Now your digestive and immune systems have been tamped down because the energy went to your muscles. Eating when the digestive system isn’t working at full capacity results in stomach cramps or nausea. Forcing the digestive system to work when the muscles need maximum energy levels causes muscle cramps. This is why you’re not supposed to go swimming after a big meal – muscle cramps while swimming can kill you.

-          Ate a big meal? I bet you are not feeling like having sex right now. Probably also not winning any chess tournaments. And don’t move around too much!

-          Feeling sick? Cough, runny nose, sneezing? You’re probably not too hungry. (Especially not when you have a fever. Fevers burn a lot of energy.) You probably do not feel much like having sex. Your muscles ache and you don’t want to move around much. And you are sleepy.

-          Feeling randy, baby? You are probably not also feeling hungry.

What Happens When We Game The System?

I briefly mentioned stimulants above – chemicals that artificially reroute energy levels back to the brain, improving concentration and mental acuity, at the expense of everything else.

Well, not literally everything else. Stimulants suppress pain to some slight extent, increase heart rate and blood flow, and make your muscles more eager to do work. Many people report that stimulant use also makes them horny. So those systems are in good shape too. But you know what took a hit? Your digestive system and your immune system. Now, your digestive system… you can feel that immediately. People take stimulants in order to lose weight, sometimes, because they’ll suppress your appetite. Energy rerouting to brain and muscles means the body shuts down digestion. What’s already there will get processed but let’s not add to it, okay?

You did not feel your immune system slow down and weaken. You won’t, today. But maybe tomorrow you’ll get sick. Maybe the day after that.

Oh, but you gotta work, right? The boss won’t tolerate you not coming in. So you stuff yourself full of stimulants – pseudoephedrine, dries up your nose and keeps you awake; caffeine, keeps you focused – and go to work anyway. With energy being forced away from your immune system to keep your brain and your muscles working. That’s not gonna work out well for you, now is it. You wanna pull the military off the front lines to have a parade, when you’re being actively invaded?

Keeping your brain functioning at full capacity, continuing to use your muscles, when you’re sick, will slow your recovery time, because you took the energy away from your immune system to pump it through your brain. Because the amount of energy you can produce is finite, and relatively fixed.

Oh, you can improve some things. Your blood and everything it does, and practically every chemical reaction in your body, is totally dependent on the presence of water, so stay well hydrated. Stock your body well with the vitamins and minerals you need to make all these things function. Are you getting enough oxygen, citizen? Eat food, but with the right balance of carbs and proteins and fats so that your digestive system isn’t overtaxed, you don’t end up with an insulin spike, and you’re not wasting resources. If your system lacked any of these things, then you can improve metabolic efficiency, and your energy levels, by providing them.

But stimulants can’t give you energy. They can make you feel like they did because the energy is going to places where your conscious mind can feel it… but they didn’t increase the amount of energy you have. Resources are being taken away from other areas. Your immune system is taking a serious hit right now. And you can’t feel that, but it’s gonna fuck you up later.

Brains That Have To Work Extra Hard At Basic Stuff

This is a simplified model, but: all brains are full of little modules that do things. And consciousness, ego, is actually pretty bad at most stuff. The little modules that do things are like dedicated co-processors for specific tasks. Spatial processing. Language acquisition. Basic math. Recognizing faces. Managing executive functions.

The neurotypical mind comes with a basic set of things that neurotypicals don’t even realize exist unless they study psychology or spend a lot of time with neurodivergent people, because they all have them. The thing that recognizes faces. The thing that processes sound into speech. The thing that generates speech from thought. The thing that picks up social rules. The thing that can look at letters and figure out easily and quickly how to pronounce them. The thing that tunes in to body language cues. The thing that’s always aware of how loud you’re talking. The thing that enables you to kind of guess how much time has passed. The thing that lets you control what you’re paying attention to. The thing that does basic math.

Many of these little modules need to be trained – language and math and reading don’t suddenly appear in people’s brains, they’re taught – but once trained, the little modules just… do the thing. The person doesn’t have to think about it. They no longer experience any sense of “I’m doing a thing”, it’s just happening.  

Not all neurodivergent minds have these things. Many such minds have found a workaround. Use conscious processing power, not black box processing power, because the black box isn’t there, but main cortex is. You can apply intelligence to solve problems like “who is that guy, I know that I know him” and “what are the words those people are saying” and “how do I turn those letters into a sound”. “How do I keep track of how much time I am spending on this?” “How do I make myself do shit that bores me?” We use conscious mind processing power, not the much more efficient black boxes that people aren’t even aware they have.

But what happens when energy is sucked away from the conscious mind, and we’re reduced to vegetating, still awake but without the ability to perform complex thought right now?

If we’re routing skills through the conscious mind, we will lose those skills in proportion to how much we lose the ability to think in general, as energy is drawn away from the brain. And NTs, using the much more efficient black box modules, have no idea that this is even a thing that can happen. It would take far more drastic energy loss for them to lose the work the black boxes do.

Some of us have black boxes that the average NT does not have. I can do complex worldbuilding in my head when I’m so exhausted I can’t talk anymore. There are people who just know the answers to complex arithmetic problems the way most of us just know the answer to 2 times 5. Some people have advanced spatial processing coprocessors that mean they’re almost never lost, because they’re effortlessly creating a map of their surroundings any time they go anywhere, and something in their head is tracking what direction they are in and what turns they’ve made. But some of us do not. Not all of us get a trade, skill for skill. And some of us get black boxes that turn out to be kind of useless. Like, suppose a person more or less effortlessly memorizes the name of every dinosaur ever discovered. Unless they are a paleontologist, when is that going to help?

The important thing to note here is that even a small drop in energy can cause a noticeable drop in an ND’s ability to fake being “normal”, because they are using a less efficient means of computing to perform those skills, and it cuts out on them when energy has to draw down from the brain to go somewhere else.

Spoonies

People with auto-immune disorders are constantly using high levels of energy to do useless and self-destructive shit (not that they want to, but their immune system did not ask first), because their immune system is always on high alert against things like their own nervous system. Overactive immune system consumes energy; body parts taking damage consume energy.

People with cancer or other diseases that lead them to take chemo are burning a lot of energy trying to replenish vital functional cells that the chemo keeps killing. Chemo destroys fast-dividing cells… like white blood cells, and the ones in your mucous membranes, and the ones in your hair follicles. And you can do without hair, but you sort of need your mucous membranes and your white blood cells.

People with fatigue disorders might be suffering from an auto-immune issue, or they might be suffering from a metabolic issue. For instance, low levels of thyroid hormone will cause metabolic processes across the board to slow down, drastically decreasing the available energy.

People with depression might literally actually have a fatigue disorder that manifests in not having enough energy to process serotonin and dopamine correctly. Also, serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine are brain chemicals that do energy routing, having an effect on what the body is putting energy into. Failures to produce enough of those or at appropriate times, or spending energy breaking them down when you still need them, will screw with the body’s ability to deliver energy to the right places.

Whatever the reason, if you have a disorder that drains your energy… even if that’s all it does, even if it literally has no other symptoms, having something that lowers your available energy for your brain and muscles makes it literally impossible for you to function at the levels you would like to. Like, the same way it is impossible for a Chevy Malibu to go 800 miles on one tank of gas. The available energy is not there. Either it is going someplace stupid that you’d rather it didn’t, or metabolism itself just isn’t working well.

If you are neither a spoonie nor neurodivergent, odds are, your body’s working at a reasonably high level of efficiency already, so you can get a dramatic improvement when you find one of the few things you lack, and you fill that need. Hydrate? (Everything runs on water) Exercise? (Speeds up circulation, and fitness in general will cause your metabolism to be more efficient) Vitamins? (Sure, if you’re missing some, vitamins are real useful.)

But if the problem is, you’re pouring energy into activities society requires you to engage in but your brain cannot do them easily and efficiently, so they cost you a lot more than others; if the problem is, your body is wasting a lot of energy on an immune response to things that shouldn’t need an immune response; if the problem is, there’s a food your body can’t break down, so you’re eating enough to feel full but never getting enough energy from it; if the problem is, your metabolism is lacking something esoteric that almost everyone else has enough of, so it’s nearly impossible to figure out what’s missing… exercise and hydration and vitamins will not help. Or, they may help, if you were lacking them, but they won’t fix the problem.

Expecting you to just push through a lack of energy through willpower is a total misunderstanding of how the brain and body work. You cannot do what you don’t have energy to do, and if you route energy to your brain or muscles to accomplish something that requires really pushing yourself, you are taking it away from somewhere else. Probably your immune system. So you’ll get sick. And then you’ll be even more overtaxed.

It’s amazing the degree to which ignorant people think that all bodies literally work the exact same way. (And yet many of these ignoramuses think that people of a different race are somehow completely different from them in some fundamental way. Make it make sense.) What’s even worse is the number of doctors who believe that the only way bodies can malfunction are the ways they happen to know about, so anything outside their experience is fake.

But if you understand how complex the system is and how variable the things that can go wrong with it are, and you understand the role of energy, and energy distribution, in the body, it becomes obvious. You can’t force yourself to do what you don’t have the energy to do without taking it away from somewhere else.

Weight and Energy

There is no question that it’s possible for a human to get to a place where their weight is a severe drain on their energy levels. But very few people are actually there.

Muscle is heavier than fat. But muscle does the work of dragging the weight of a body around. A body with good muscle tone – fat but fit – is in a much better position, in terms of energy production and distribution, than a thin body with weak muscles.

Fat actively helps with energy conservation in the cold. A fit fat person – someone whose musculature is strong and healthy enough that they have no difficulty moving their own weight – has reserves to burn in the event of a disorder that consumes so much energy, it inhibits digestion. (To be honest, so does a weak fat person, but they’re losing energy every time they move because they’re too heavy for their own muscles. But this is true of physical weakness in general.)

Not everyone can be fit! Exercise, if you recall, is one of those things that burns a lot of energy! If you already have very little energy, you’re going to have a very hard time exercising enough to become fit.

All of this is normal. It’s natural. It makes sense. Why would being fat automatically make you less healthy in all situations than someone thin? Being underweight is correlated with a significantly shorter lifespan than being overweight.

I’m Gonna Talk About Diabetes Here

We’re told over and over that there’s a giant health crisis among Americans of increased obesity, and this is causing diabetes.

Bullshit.

Consider this. Diabetes is a disorder where you don’t produce enough insulin, but many Type II diabetics got that way because their body massively overproduced insulin to the point where they wore out their pancreatic cells. Remember when I said insulin takes circulating glucose out of the blood stream and stuffs it somewhere safe? You know where it stuffs it? Fat cells. Doctors have been telling people that being overweight causes diabetes… when we know for a fact that diabetes is caused by insulin resistance, a condition where the cells don’t respond well to insulin, so insulin levels go up, and the body’s ability to produce its own insulin is worn down by heavy overproduction. Do the math. You had high levels of insulin production for years because your cells were resistant to insulin? Insulin stores sugar in fat cells, as fat? Gosh, I wonder if the condition that led to your becoming diabetic happened to be the exact same condition that caused you to get fat!

In a case like that, losing weight wouldn’t do jack shit for your insulin, but changing the way you eat so there’s less circulating sugar in the first place would, and this would cause you to store less in your fat cells, which would cause you to lose weight. But it’s not the weight loss that helped you. You couldn’t solve your problem by cutting calories, because calories didn’t get you into this position. High levels of circulating glucose did. Exercising super hard and going on a diet and actually losing weight – which would be hard, because super high levels of insulin storing all that sugar as fat, and yet your blood sugar is still high because your cells don’t respond to the insulin, but let’s say you pull it off – that does nothing. Maybe you see an improvement in your symptoms because eating very little produces very little circulating blood sugar… though now you’ve got some other symptoms. Namely, no energy. And any improvement you experienced is temporary, because you’re addressing a symptom, not the problem.

Doctors know that insulin stores sugar as fat. Doctors know that diabetic people with Type II generate higher and higher levels of insulin as their body tries to compensate for not responding to it, until finally the cells give up and the patient needs to take artificial insulin. And yet, somehow, we are still hearing “fat causes diabetes, lose weight and you won’t get diabetes!” There’s a disconnect here.

Overclocking

I’m going to talk about something as dangerous as fuck here.

When your body’s natural systems are not regulating your blood sugar, and so you can have greater than normal levels of sugar in your bloodstream… this can make the pie higher.

Remember I said you can’t increase your energy levels by adding more fuel, because the mitochondria can only work as hard as they can work? Well, that’s not completely true. Mitochondria can apparently work harder than that, if they have access to more sugar. It’s just that more sugar is destroying your circulatory system, resulting in damage to your retinas, the nerves in your hands and feet, your ability to regulate the temperature of those extremities, the speed at which you can grow back skin in an injury, and, oh, pretty much everything else.

Get to a certain level of blood sugar and you feel like absolute shit. But in the range between that – higher than you should be but lower than the levels you can actually feel bad in – you have more energy.

This is fucking awful, to be honest. Everyone wants more energy! Energy helps you get shit done! More energy to the brain makes your brain work better.

And you want the sugar. You want the high glucose. You don’t know that’s what you want, but you know you crave sweets and carbs, and when your glucose is high (but not too high), it’s a stimulant. You’re awake, you can focus, your mental energy is good. Cut down the way they tell you that you need to, when you’re diabetic, and now you’re sluggish and depressed.

It’s killing you slowly but not doing it is depressing and hard and the slow death isn’t causing you any significant amount of suffering, until it does, and then it’s too late.

Sugar is a drug and you’re addicted. But it’s food. There are no regulations to protect you from eating all the food you want. There is no social opprobrium in general against sweet foods or carb-high snacks. (If you are fat you might suffer from this, but thin people are allowed to eat whatever the fuck they want, and honestly if you’re fat you will probably catch shit for eating a nice big steak, which is a lot better for you if you’re diabetic than a piece of toast.)

You’re overclocking your brain, the same way gamers overclock their PCs to get higher performance. Except that when they melt their CPU they can just buy a new one. You are not buying a new brain anytime soon.

I Am Not A Doctor

I didn’t go to medical school. I did study biology at the graduate school level, but no medical degree.

But everything I’m saying is backed up by pretty much any source I look at. It’s just that the conclusions that I’m drawing, while they are logical outgrowths of the things I’m saying, are for some mysterious reason not the conclusion that people who go to medical school are drawing.

Bodies are all different. Bodies are very complicated with many interlocking systems. Many, many things can go wrong with bodies. Far more things than science is fully aware of yet. Therefore it makes perfect sense that if someone is tired all the time for no good reason, there is a good reason and we just don’t know what it is. If someone can’t easily do a thing another person can do, that is absolutely normal and expected, unless that other thing is something that falls into a range that most humans can easily do. Then all of a sudden it becomes impossible to imagine that a human couldn’t do it? Bullshit. We don’t understand the brain perfectly.

It is absolutely normal that when a person’s energy levels are high, they have the resources to accomplish things they cannot do when their resources are low. The notion that if you’re disabled, there’s a thing you can’t do and you can never do it and that is the way it has to be, is nonsensical. Yes, of course some people are disabled in that way. If you have no legs, then no matter how much energy you have, you will never have legs. But you might be a lot better able to tolerate uncomfortable prosthetics when your energy levels are high.

“If you could do it today then why couldn’t you do it yesterday?” I don’t know, Karen, why couldn’t you vacuum your carpet after you’d been working all day, when you were pushing that vacuum around with no trouble last weekend? People can accomplish more when they have more energy. Doing things consumes energy. Once your energy is consumed, the fact that it can only replenish at a finite rate means you have to wait to get more. While you’re waiting, you can’t do stuff, because stuff takes energy, that you don’t have, because you used it up on other stuff. What part of this is unclear?

Being fat is a symptom of underlying conditions in most of the diseases that it’s correlated with. It’s not that being fat is unhealthy, like losing weight would make you healthy again; it’s that it is a symptom of your disorder that shows up before the more definitive symptoms do. It is possible to improve your health by exercising and changing what you eat, and sometimes, this may result in weight loss, but it wasn’t the weight loss that improved your health. It was becoming fitter (more muscle) and eating stuff that isn’t poisoning you because some of your metabolic pathways don’t work. If you don’t lose weight, you may still be getting healthier.

(I suspect it’s actually true that being fat will damage your joints. You’re putting more of a load on them, so it makes logical sense. What doesn’t make sense is to say that being fat causes diabetes and high blood pressure when we know for a fact that overly high levels of insulin cause both being fat and diabetic, and overly high levels of blood sugar cause high blood pressure, heart disease, and general circulation problems, so. Um. All of these things come from insulin resistance? That is the problem? Not the weight, that’s a symptom?)

And sometimes, sugar is an addictive drug. If you’re feeling self-satisfied because you’re not an alcoholic, and you don’t smoke, and you’ve never taken an illegal drug, but you can’t do without your blueberry muffin in the morning and your ice cream after dinner… stop feeling superior to people addicted to illegal substances or well-known vices. The only difference between them and you is that you got addicted to a substance that will kill you but that is safe for most people, and because it improves your mood and your productivity, capitalism is more than happy to let you indulge it until you drop dead.

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

33. Cruise to alberobello

Prompt used - tasting the others smile | this is Definitely not how I expected to write it or how I thought it would've turned out, but I do hope you like it or it'd be a waste | immensely inspired by call me by your name | today's post I'd like to dedicate to @littlebodybigheartttt for putting a smile on my face |

Harry recites a story to the wizard travellers in hopes to impress the boy behind the bar

Fanart taken down because of confidentiality.

Fanart credit - @upthehillart

" I've got one " harry raised his forefinger to grab the attention of the fellow mates on the table

" so a few years ago, I had just started my auror training, probably like 2 months in, I got a call from my boss saying harry I need you in my office right now, I've got a job for you. And that 18 year old me so excited to get a job much before than any of my pals, I ran to the office as soon as possible and when I reached my boss guess what he said, harry I need you to go and fetch me these specific files from so and so person. I was shook for a moment that he called me all the way just to fetch some files from other country which possibly anyone could've done for him but I agreed to go nonetheless. The intercountry apparation was banned for a time there so I flew there. I was transported to a small town on South italy, I thought typical place, typical people but when I reached there, the place was goddamn symmetrical, yes not tall and High or pretty place, symmetrical. Everything so conical and guess what I found out, in a population of 11,000 only a 100 wizards and witches " harry paused to take a sip from his champagne glass, a couple of other people joining along over the table to listen to his intriguing story.

" and then blah blah, got boring fetching those files and such so I hit a bar. A muggle bar as I believe. There I was drinking my beer like quite a gentlemen and then there comes a girl, sat down beside me without asking and take my beer and I look at her like excuse me, miss but I think you've taken my drink, but she just shrugs and drink further so I ordered another for me. And then she goes, you see that couple over sitting by the door, I can bet that they are happily married and will definitely divorce the next year. I ask her how do you know and she goes I just know and then the next thing I know a bartender goes to them and says honeymoon special. I was shook but said it's just a simple coincidence but then she tells about 5 more people and only one of them she got wrong. I kept on saying maybe it's a coincidence, or Maybe she knew but then she proved me she didn't. And then we got to talking like I had never talked to anyone. You know the kind of energy where you just hit it off with someone, she was that person, Only she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes upon, like a Sin city just walking like every normal person but she had no idea how beautiful she was, like a beautiful summer day " and harry stopped eager to see some reaction

" then what ?"

" then we talked. I thought she was all just Beauty but I had never met anyone like her. She talked of things only one could've thought of. So we were talking on the matter of love and she goes it's all complicated and then I ask her to elaborate. So she does, she says the complication in love lies only in its complexity, and then she goes like we often mistake love to be like a summer breeze that is there one day that takes you away and you enjoy it while it lasts but love, actually is like a dagger, it can pierce right through you, leave you bleeding if you get too close but if the dagger points them, you let yourself them fall over it, you stab them just like you do when it points you. So I ask her what does she think of soulmates or the marriage that lasts forever and she smiles at me and went soulmate is a consolation for a weak hearted that there exists love for you which would be devoid of your insecurities. And I frown, I said that what if it's a perfect relationship, and then she says, there can never be a perfect relationship because if it exists, then the love isn't real and I get confused " harry notices the table filling in more, the bartender giving him a small smile, happy for his victory.

" and she says, my love, love is not a summer breeze, love is like a pandora box fill with paradoxical substances. It's a cold breeze that leads you to the Amazon forest, wide and unforeseen opportunities and problems available, but as you go deeper in the forest you realise for every problem there exist a solution. It's like falling on the dagger and bleeding but you should be intoxicated with the love of the dagger, so you will never die. I was amazed, she said so much reality in those few words. Then I ask her so what about people who say love is magical ? And she goes, doesn't magic exist, but if I were I to say, they find themselves ethereal when they fell over that dagger, the dagger in there you see is poisoned just like every other, yet a few realises and few doesn't and the one who doesn't says love is magical. Then out of curiosity I ask her when the clock hit exactly 12, do you believe in love ? She smiles at me very elegantly, the one she hadn't pull off the entire night, and she says I my friend, am the said dagger "

" seems as if we're there aren't we ?" Someone Whispered across the table.

Harry looked at them, gave them a small smile impressively and begin again " I ask her one last question, do you believe in soulmate ? And she shook her head and got off the stool and kisses her beau. I was rendered speechless, and then she says so long my friend and starts exiting the bar, I felt to myself that if I didn't follow her, I'd be damned, so I followed, Just a few steps away and then call out to her, she turns around and I ask her name and she replies with, my name is what there is in one, but only who fail to love doesn't have and then she says, this is Alex by the way, my soulmate. I turn to my side thinking of what possibly her name could've been and then when I raise my head, she has gone. Not like walked away gone, she had disappeared, with her beau and I stood there yet amazed. And then the next day I go to the bar again and ask about the girl to that bartender I was talking to and he goes, sir I do not know who was with you, all know is you came alone and went home alone. I didn't linger on much, and I called this the cruise to alberobello " and harry stops suddenly finishing off the rest of his champagne. He raises his eyes to meet the boy behind the bar, smiling wickedly at him.

" wha- what happened then ? Did you ever get to know her name ? Was any of it even real?" Someone asks in morbid curiosity.

"I always assumed her name to be Alma, meaning soul, with no other meaning and to this day the cruise to alberobello remains one of my most mysterious epiphanies " Harry chuckled. Groaning everyone dropped the story, intrigued by the story themselves.

It was half past 12 when the bar started emptying out, reaching its closing time and harry made himself comfortable over the bar stool.

" quite a story tonight " the boy with freckled eyes says wiping off the glasses with a dry cloth.

" I did. Travellers always seeks stories as such. Something they've never heard before, and leave them wondering " Harry chuckled finishing off his drink and pushing off the cup towards the boy..

" i must admit, I myself am very intrigued by the story" the boy smiles at harry. Harry looks at him warily smiling, he felt proud.

" I get off in 10 minutes, walk with me ?" He asked as he started taking of his apron

" I wouldn't do anything otherwise " Harry replied and exited the front door, the open sign changing to closed by a wand less magic and harry follows to the back door, waiting for Draco like he always does.

Exactly 10 minutes later, draco exits wearing a light Denim jacket over his black shirt and pants.

" shall we ?" He asked as he pushed his hands down his pocket.

They walk home talking about Harry's story, how it seemed almost unreal, however, they both Would've been doomed fools to not admit that the night had an enigmatic aura to it.

Just as they reached Draco's door, he pushes his hands in his pockets tip toeing waiting for Draco to safely reach inside.

" well that's me then " Draco said as he turned around after opening the door.

" I'll see you later then " Harry awkwardly replied.

" okay " Draco smiled

" okay "

" okay "

Harry smiled and started tumbling back his home until he turned just in time to tell Draco one last thing.

" hey, Draco "

" yeah ?"

" you know my cruise to alberobello ?"

" yeah ? What about it ? "

Harry smiled biting his lip

" you are my cruise to alberobello "

And with that Harry vanished in thin air, letting the curiosity killing Draco's cat. Everything Harry had said, Draco used to put it down on little notes and keep it away in a box , a small gesture Remind Draco of Harry if he were to ever be gone but this left him shook. The truth about his cruise to alberobello, was that if the epiphany was even real or not, Harry didn't answer that. The mystery of the story lied within the fact how anyone could've ever remembered something from ages ago, it seemed unreal but harry was a man of many words, anything but a man who would forget. And this Draco knew because of his simple rememberance of bringing him a dairy free product when draco had told him very discreetly that he was lactose intolerant.

Draco tired to sleep it away but the restlessness buried in every nerve of him that forced him to stay awake until he couldn't bear anymore and disapparted to Harry's place.

" Draco, what are you doing here ? It's almost 2 " Harry frowned as he allowed Draco to walk into his own little Land of wonder he called home.

" you asked me on the way back if I believed your story to be real ? Here's what I think, the cruise to alberobello is infact an envisage of an interaction you assumed you had with the girl named Alma who sat next to you on the bar stool with her beau Alex, who you irrevocably found to be like dagger who would pierce you open if you fell for her but you couldn't bring yourself to even try to talk to her, so you imagined all of it. But when you met me, that girl named Alma became me, and I became your cruise you'd want to go on with but are too Afraid of admitting. Correct me if I'm wrong " Draco explained in a breath still standing in the hallway.

Harry frowns before he crossed his arms and smiled " I'm impressed "

" tell me if I'm wrong ?"

" what if you are ?"

" then you would lie because you only said what you said because you knew I'd be the only one who would understand the story "

Harry remained in shock, frowning" I'm thoroughly shook how beautifully right you are "

Draco huffs out air in relief " well harry James potter, then I am asking you to be my cruise to alberobello ? Will you be ?"

" Tomorrow night, 8 pm, Alberta palace ?"

" I'll be there " Draco replied.

" good night then Draco " Harry chuckled.

" Good night" Draco replied and was only About to disapparate when Harry interjected

" one last thing" and with that Harry kissed Draco's lip. There must've been something weird in the air because they both broke out laughing while kissing each other.

" took you this long ?" Draco smiled, his lips still pressed against Harry's and his arms wrapped around his torso.

" I was waiting for you to be impressed with at least one of my stories. I'm not just Beauty you know " Harry mumbled

" well you finally succeeded " and with that Harry softly traced Draco's lips with his own. It must've been so ethereal to be in the moment that draco couldn't stop smiling, and harry was drunk on Draco, and in Prosperity couldn't stop tasting Draco's smile, it could've been kissing but it felt otherwise, Harry was happy anyway.

And next night onwards,he didn't need more stories to attract the boy behind the bar.

This might be considered as a very late submission for @drarrymicrofic " cruise "

Requests open | Master list to all prompts now available

Day 32- reasons to not love Draco malfoy by Harry potter PT.1+PT.2 | Day 34- bath with me

[shesawriter39049]

|UNWRAP ME| M|

Pairing : Jimin X Reader (Ft a lil Tae)

“There’s a bow on my panties because my ass is a present!”

About- Honestly, you were just trying to prep gift bags for your company’s holiday party! But Jimins stressed, and needs a little brain reset sooo….I guess we’re prepping gift bags later!

Or- The company has quite a few deadlines to hit before you guys close for the holiday! Jimin’s in charge of talent and everybody’s fucking up…but in your line of work it’s a domino affect! So if his crew falls behind ultimately everybody’s behind! Hints Jimin’s stress and frustration....

WC: Sneak peek (1k)

WARNINGS: (FULL THING): Teasing, light edging, dirty talk, top/bottom OC, top/power bottom Jimin, hand restraints, unprotected sex, over stimulation, fingering (F receiving), biting/marking kink, VERY light degration kink (he playfully calls her a “little bitch/slut” once) light come play, light spanking

FINAL NOTE: This is a stand alone smut drabble within my OT7 poly universe called “7 DEEP”. Short AU SUMMARY: Your husband Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in an open relationship with! P.S. If you’re new here Kookie joins the party a little later….

*Pierced Jimin/Red haired “Dope” Era Jimin meets 2020 Jimin!?

*Also it should go without being said but Jimin, IS Westernized, he’s from LA in this ffs!

*In true Rocki fashion I decided to do holidy prompts late af & did not finish in time for the main Holiday but w/e! Note, there is some backstory here bc this was set to be the 1st of 3 holiday prompts!** ___________________________________________________

Sunday, December 14TH, 4PM 

“Alright, so you wanna hear some bullshit?!”

K, well that’s apparently Jimin, musing around a mouth full of fries! I love how no one even bothers to knock, give notice they just show the fuck up! Whenever...

Cute.

I swear it sounds like your running a damn liquor store because there’s an obnoxious amount of bells and mistletoe hanging above the door almost acting as a doorbell at this point. Just casually Fa-la-laing together, echoing throughout your entire apartment every damn time the door opens! Honestly, your slowly regretting giving Jin and Tae free reign with decorations because that shits annoying as all hell!

Gaze still focused on your original task, not even looking in his direction “Don’t trip over the-“ There's a loud thud, followed by an obscene groan, accompanied by an even louder “Fuckkk!” Which solidified he did in fact trip over the ....

“....Box with Jin’s other Christmas tree in it ...” The words kinda died off your tongue at this point because well, clearly the warning did not fare well! “If anything’s broken I’m totally snitching just so we’re clear” Sassing over a half empty glass of spiked eggnog.

Now that you’ve finally looked at him, you find yourself hiding a smirk behind your cocktail as well! The boy is fine, you’d give him that! Looking like a model off duty, in his low cut white v, neck hidden beneath a distressed leather jacket! Topping off the look with a pair of chunky combats and disrespectfully tight dark wash denim jeans! I swear they damn near looked painted on, aviators resting on the bridge of his nose! Gucci backpack slung over his shoulder, Starbucks in one hand, and some brown bag full of grease in the other! Jimin recently went back red, looking dangerously close to the same 18 year old you met, at UCLA almost years ago now!  Just a boujier version, it’s like this Jimin’s from Calabasas instead of the Bay! Though your down for both options if we’re being real!

Not that Jimin’s not equally as good of company as well, you were honestly just expecting Tae! The two of you were starting to put together the gift bags for next week's holiday party! Hints the hot ass mess all over the floor of your living room, it’s a disgusting pile of shopping bags and boxes! Everything from Amazon to Saks Fifth, at this point you aren’t even sure where the fuck your floor starts or ends! One thing you do know for damn sure is Hobi’s going to have an aneurysm If he sees it! Sooo, hopefully Tae shows up sooner than later...

It’s become a tradition, or at least since the companies been profitable enough to do so! First off, you’re love language has always been a combination of “Gifts” and “Acts of service, so shit like this is essentially second nature!

However, quality time has slowly slipped its way into the mix over the past couple of years as well! Especially considering it’s almost a luxury for the seven of you at this point but you try not to complain! I mean Namjoon and yourself just did an interview last week for Forbes 30 under 30 for fucks sake! But anyway, like I was originally saying this little party is your way of trying to give your staff a combination of all 3 said love languages!

Above everything else you all work your asses off well, aware this is far from a 9-5, yet they give you their best constantly! Yeah, it was built on the backs of you and your boys but it wouldn’t be were it is now without everyone else! So, with that being said the schedule is as follows! 

1.Bust ass and hit all of your year end deadlines by December 22nd. 

2.The holiday party is on the 23rd...

3. Thennnnnn....after that the companies closed until the 2nd of January! 

Well kinda, if we’re being real the 7 of you never fully stop working, but you damn sure plan to try! I guess it’s the beauty and the curse of having damn near everything accessible on your phone! I swear this morning Joon was washing your back whilst you read him the latest profit/loss update from Jin soooo......that’s that!

Everyone else however....off duty with pay!

Which brings us back to the original task at hand before Jimin showed up,prepping the gift bags that get handed out at said holiday party! The invite list is pretty exclusive honestly,outside of your staff, and there plus one, the other guests are typically the immediate crew/ talent used throughout the year on various productions! Oh, there’s also special little packages mailed out to a couple of the company's sponsors as well! So all together were looking at at least 100 gift bags give or take! Of course at this stage you guys go all out but that’s not what it’s about! It’s legitimately the thought that counts!

Little gestures like this just remind people that you care,that they’re on your mind even if they aren’t currently doing you a favor! That’s what sets Onyx apart, all the little things you do without even thinking about it! Coffee, donuts, catering on set for long shoots,or even the little kits Jimin brings with him to set for the models! Fully stocked with soothing cream, heating pads, the full nine! It’s actually sad how much of a rarity it is in your line of work! 

Obviously, it goes without saying that those types of gestures aren’t feasible for everyone....However there’s companies worth more than you that do amples less!

But anyway back to Jimin and Tae! As I mentioned when the door originally opened you were expecting a mop of silver locks as opposed to red! Baby boy ran out to pick up the custom gift bags from this Indie vendor in WeHo. Hint’s why you were expecting Tae instead, now, why Jimins here I have no damn idea! Clearly we’re about to find out and apparently it’s “Some Bullshit!”

Honestly outside of checking his OOTD you didn't truly look at him. Far too busy propped on top of your oversized dining room table sorting through a manusery of  “Thank you” cards!

Eyes flicking to the left ever so slightly as you hear him shuffle closer “I-yeah sure what bullsh-wait are you eating my DoorDash?!”

It’s the way you constantly have to remind yourself that jail will not be like Orange is in the new black! Because I swear you damn near chucked this martini glass at that fire engine red dome of his!

Jimin just shrugs, a little nonchalant and unenthusiastic, almost as if he’s inconvenienced actually...

“Mmm, depends on perspective” He deadass just stuffed two more fires in his mouth! You're literally going to strangle him! It’s borderline painful how hard  your jaw tick, eyes narrowed in his direction!

Brows arched so damn high your gonna end up needing Botox from the permanent crease embedding within your skin. “Perspect-your literally eating-“

Holding a solitary finger in your direction “Tae just text me and said look at your phone and text him back...with like, a million pouty faces. Also, different note, who changed the decorations I placed on the mantle?! “

Jimin’s hand is now resting on his hip, legitimately angry about these damn decorations! I think his neck even did a couple rolls in the process, and I’m willing to bet,before he leaves they will be swapped out again!

A frustrated groan attempts to leave your throat  though it goes unacknowledged as your lacking any ounce or bite! Far too fond of both of your boys to truly be agitated at the moment! Actually that’s a lie, you high key wanna punch Jimin but it’s fine ....

“That, would be Jin, he said they clashed with the table decor” Pointing to all of the gold, and maroon colored decorations donning the marble coffee table “So, if your pissed go curse him out because I could give less than a damn! Now where the fuck is my phoneeee”

Hopping off the table causing your oversized UCLA Alum hoodie to hike over your ass. Said ass is covered or barely covered considering your cheeky, red, ruffle little panties are in fact assless! A cute little bow perched right on top of your tailbone, as if to direct the eye where to go….

Jimin is now choking on stolen fires and yeah there’s a smirk on your face as you grab your phone!

Mmmmhmmmm...and to think, maybe if he wasn’t being such a brat you’d let him unwrap one of his gifts a little early!

“Baby now he’s calling meeee” Anddddd he’s whining, wiggling his phone like it’s on fire! Ya know, moments like these in fact remind you that Tae and Jimin are the youngest!

“Oh for fucks sake!” Huffing in his direction snatching the phone and bag of Five Guys away in the process!

“Yes baby?” It’s actually terrifying how quickly your tone, and entire demeanor just switched! Somewhat reminiscent to how you’d see a mom scold one child then baby talk another all in the same breath! 

Jimin without a doubt noticed too, lip jutting out in a pout and no matter how many times you roll your eyes you still find yourself leaning forward kissing it right off! He moans into it and you Instantly taste the tangy seasoning from your fries, especially once he tries to swipe his tongue past the seam of your lips. The feeling of that tiny piece of metal playing in his mouth almost distracted you, but alas...the notion immediately reminds you why you were irked to begin with! Without even thinking you lean back into nipping at his bottom lip, though...this is Jimin we’re dealing with here! So whatever you thought you’d achieve is now dead, because a needy little whine just rustled in the back of his throat 

Speaking of love languages,there’s another called “Physical Touch” which has the words Jimin Park written all over it. So with that being said you really should’ve already been prepared for whatever’s about to unfold.

It’s subconscious at this point, head dropping down to the crook of your neck, nosing up a vein like a neglected puppy! Squeezing your waist hard enough to damn near engrave his thumb print in against your hip bones! Well, clearly he doesn’t want you going anywhere anytime soon!   

So what do you do instead? Place the bag of food on the bar, hold the phone in one hand and bring the other up to play in his freshly dyed locks! I swear this man is a second away from purring so maybe he’s not a puppy after all. Suddenly his ring clanned fingers trickle down your spine heading south, flexing his palm to squeeze down around the swell of your ass! Shifting you forward so your chest to chest...

So, here you are trying to cater to both of your boys at once...lord help you!

“No, of course I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just busy-yes Tae. You wanna put what in a what,Now?”

~~~~~

Hiii, as I mentioned above this was kinda last minute, I wrote out prompts on the 21st, then adult life kicked in. I actually had my own little office Christmas party to plan (Nothing on this scale obviously because well, we know the way the real world is rn) However because of that I couldn’t truly work on this until the 24th. However it’s been a long time since I wrote/wanted to write so I opted to just post it anyway! Hopefully the full thing will be up by the 28th at the latest.

I have also attached the overall masterlist for this AU!

7 DEEP 

[descendantofthesparrow]

Interlude - Rewrite POYW- Harry Hook x reader - Part 7 - Plans coming together

=

-1 year and 11 months later(January 2019)-

Ben placed his hands on his hips and smiled, looking up at the large entrance doors to the newly appointed VK shelter. Everything was finished, from the kitchens to the smallest tile in the bathrooms. it was all ready, over 100 people were hired and ready to make food, repair damages if made, counselors, therapists, caretakers. Everything Ben could think of was implemented and ready to go. The CPS still had some paperwork to be approved and worked through, so Ben was looking at late July early August for the six new vks to be in Auradon.

Which would be six-seven months from now but, at least it was only six to seven months and not the 3 years it's been since he promised and started on getting more vks off the isle, including the start of production of the shelter and CPS system.

Ben pulled out his phone and smiled, in only a few days it would also be the 3rd anniversary of the first six vks arrival, they had arrived about two weeks before his birthday and his birthday was also the third anniversary of his time as king and his 18th birthday.

January had a lot to celebrate, didn’t it?

He knew the vks were planning something for him, and they were all keeping most of the information secret so they could surprise him. The only thing he knew was that Evie rented out a place for the party, invited Ben's closest friends that weren’t the vks. (Audrey, Jane, Doug, and Lonnie. Chad was invited too but Jay and Carlos told Ben about Chad’s very sus behavior about Ben when they told him about Bens capture on the isle so Ben was slightly wary of his old friend)

Ben had planned for a party for the 3rd anniversary of the original six vks arrivals for the vks but they wanted to wait until the next group came to Auradon, wanting to celebrate with their fellow villain kids. So Ben now mentally rescheduled the party to be in August, not knowing the exact date they would be getting the vks.

“We’re getting closer!” Ben couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he turned to see Mal walking towards him, her plum-colored shoulder-length hair in a low messy bun and wearing her favorite poison green jacket and purple and black dyed jeans. “Just a couple more months and we can finally get more kids off the isle” Ben hummed and looked back at the shelter, nodding to himself and tossing his arm over Mal's shoulder and leading her back towards the car where Luis, his chauffeur, was sitting in, waiting for them to be done looking over the building.

“Yep, I’m glad (y/n) and I were able to get the council to agree to us transferring kids twice a month, so it won't be as slow a process” Mal nodded along in agreement, remembering when (y/n), Evie, and Ben had emerged from the meeting room with shit-eating grins, telling Mal and the others that they had tricked the council into agreeing with their new terms.

“Yeah, twelve kids instead of only six a month, who knows maybe by next year we’ll already have most of the isle empty, other than the people that actually deserve to be there” Mal narrowed her eyes as her mind flashed to the thought of Captain Hook and Cruella, two of the cruelest parents on the isle “not a single kid deserves to be there a second longer”

“No they do not, but we need to do this carefully, I don’t want to risk anyone dangerous getting off the isle.” Mal nodded in agreement, stepping to the side as Ben opened the car door and let Mal slide in first, stepping in after her and closing the door, buckling up and nodding at Luis to head back to the castle.

Luis nodded and drove off, Mal and Ben continuing to talk quietly in the back. “So we’ll definitely have to have security guards, though last time we didn’t really need them?” Mal nodded again in agreement, remembering when Ben and the others had gone to grab Harry's sisters, the twins, Sammy and Dizzy, it had basically gone off without a hitch, but that might have been because of Harriet's crew acting as security for them.

“Yeah, we can see how the first one goes and if we see any sign of potential danger or someone trying to get out, we’ll get some guards to follow us to and from the side, maybe on bikes so they don’t have to do the whole getting in and out of the car. But we should probably wait on guards for a bit, having so many adults from Auradon that they don’t see regularly might make them antsy, I know I would be.” Ben nodded, they didn’t want to make the vks still on the isle think they didn’t trust them, so they might have to wait on guards at least for the first few pickups.

“Yeah, good idea” Ben sighed, slouching in his seat and looking out the car window, watching the forest go by as Luis drove back towards his castle. “still kinda sucks It's going to be at least another 6 months from now until we can even pick the kids but…at least somethings happening?” Mal placed her hand on Ben's shoulder and gave a reassuring smile.

“Hey, you’re doing your best, we all know that, the vks on the isle know that. It’s not your fault that the council is preventing you from doing what you want or need to do” Ben gave Mal a watery smile and leaned into her as she wrapped her arms around him for a moment before she pulled back.

“Thank you Mal” Ben murmured, sitting back up and unbuckling his seatbelt as the car pulled up to the castle and Luis pulled open the door, Ben and Mal slipping out and making their way into the castle, continuing to talk about the plans for the isle.

“VK day huh?” Ben chuckled, remembering Doug and Evie’s suggestion to make the selection days for the new vks a whole day for them, to let the children enjoy a day just for them. “That doesn't sound bad, if Evie wants, I can buy out that old abandoned warehouse downtown and you can all do whatever you want with it to make it like the party place, so you can have your own isle place in Auradon” Mal beamed, looking up at Ben with her eyes shining.

“That actually sounds cool! Yeah! Let's do that! I can spray paint the walls n stuff and-and Jay can-“ Ben let Mal ramble on as he pulled out his phone and texted Lumiere about the new plan, who quickly texted him back that he would take care of it.

Ben put his phone away and looked to Mal again, who was still rambling about the isle and the precautions they should take.

Ben grabbed her arm and led her to the garden balcony, where the rest of their friends were waiting. “Beasty boy~!” Harry cheered, Evie holding her arms out as Mal snapped out of her rambling and skipped toward her friend, halfway crawling into Evie's lap and snuggling into her, Evie giggling as Mal did so. “Yeh finally made it, and ‘ere I thought yeh got assassinated”

“I’m sure if I was you would be the first to know and avenge me” Ben smiled, sitting next to Carlos and Jay, picking up the plate full of fruit and taking a chunk of mango off the pile. Harry hummed and shrugged.

“Depends on who assassinated yeh, if it was (y/n)” Harry gestured to you, who was curled up next to him reading a book “I wouldn’t do a damn thing” Ben nodded in understanding.

“As you should” Doug and Lonnie looked at each other at Ben's nonchalant attitude towards Harry's morbid sense of humor, then shrugged. Over the last three years, the two had gotten used to the vks humor and way of interacting with the world so it hardly bothered them nowadays, especially when Ben reacted in a way that played along with the vks.

Harry took out his phone after it vibrated in his pocket and raised his brow, then laughed “CJ forgot why it's like spring in January” Ben laughed at that, shaking his head.

“Didn’t we tell her like, three times now?” (y/n) said from her spot, peeking over Harry's shoulder to look at the text from CJ.

“Aye, but yeh know ‘er, she forgets what she deems unimportant” Harry mumbled, texting back CJ with the answer to her question.

“Isn’t ‘January is charmed by FG to be spring weather for Ben’s birthday’ an important thing?” Lonnie asked, tossing marshmallows at Doug as he attempted to catch them in his mouth.

“You would think?” Harry snorted, pressing the send button and setting his phone on the table, leaning back in his seat and hiking his feet on the table, crossing his ankles and arms with a smirk “But CJ doesn’t think so apparently.”

Ben let out a small laugh, his eyes drifting over to Carlos, who was hunched over a small metallic object, wires poking out the top and sides, sparking as he messed with the object with a metal-tipped tool. “Carlos watcha’ doing?”

“Making a thing” was all he said, sniffing as a spark shot at his nose and burned him slightly, Evie leaning over and rubbing his nose as he leaned away from the object “um-project-high tech thing” Ben smiled as Carlos pushed Evie’s hand away gently, giving her a reassuring smile as he went back to his work “I’m tryna make a portable projector that can connect to my phone, I don’t feel like getting out my laptop every time Jay or Mal want to watch a movie but are too lazy to go sit on the couch to look at the tv”

“It's always so far away!!!” Mal justified her laziness, a pout on her lips as Ben and Evie gave her a look, a teasing smile on their faces. Carlos just pressed his lips together and Mal stuck her tongue out, pulling back as Carlos leaned forward and attempted to touch her tongue with the metal-tipped tool “hey!”

“Don’t stick your tongue out at me then! You all know I always have something electric on me, be annoying get shocked” Carlos cackled, spinning the tool between his fingers then getting back to work, Dude resting his face on Carlos’ leg and whining for attention from his favorite person. Jay leaned down to see Dude and picked him up, setting the dog on his lap and feeding Dude a slice of turkey.

Dude had long lost the ability to talk, the truth potion gummy Evie had made two and a half years ago wearing off soon after cotillion, for it was never intended to last longer than a day or two. Carlos was slightly relieved when it wore off, while it was nice to talk to Dude easily, Dude talked too easily and had been prone to reveal things Carlos and Jay hadn't really wanted to be revealed.

Besides, Carlos could still speak dog so it didn’t stop any communication between the two. Though the rest of the teens were relieved to be free of Dude’s sometimes badly timed jokes and begging for butt scratches.

Ben relaxed in his seat and sighed, enjoying a quiet moment with his friends as they ate and talked, pushing down a smile as he noticed Harry messing with (y/n)s ring finger on her left hand, she continued to only pay attention with her book, letting Harry do what he wanted.

Ben sighed again and closed his eyes, pushing back his hair on its back legs, feeling the charming spring breeze gently caress his face.

Only 8 more months till the awaited day, and there was so much that was going to happen in between it all.

His and Jays birthday this month, his 3rd anniversary being king, the 3rd anniversary of the original 6 vks arrival in Auradon, the applications being finally sent out in July, the cps set to be finally finished in May, most of the vks and aks graduation from Auradon prep in June, and Harry had something planned for (y/n) that he had only told his sisters and Ben so far.

And so much had happened before! Some of the group had turned 19 within the last year and we're beginning to find career paths in the world. Mal was looking at art collages to become a full-time freelance artist, Jay was looking at a professional tourney career and was looking at Sherwood Forest University for their tourney program, Evie was already deep into the fashion world, half of Auradon already wearing her brand and was designing a whole line for the upcoming spring, and Carlos already had an internship ready to go at Stark industries.

Harry was being scouted for multiple modeling jobs thanks to Evie hiring him as her model for almost three years now, (y/n) had a solid ‘at home’ job as a freelance digital artist, Lonnie was planning a temporary professional R.O.A.R career then joining the Chinese military to be at her mother's side as a general like her parents.

Doug was Evie's financer and personal assistant; Jane would be trained to become the next Fairy godmother so FG could retire. Audrey; he didn’t know exactly what she was doing but Ben heard from Chad that she was thinking of publishing her stories she had been writing for years now, Chad wasn’t planning for much, probably just going to live off his parent's money and live his life as a lavish prince (which no shame to Chad, Ben sometimes wished he could just chill with no worries about the world)

But all that wasn’t exactly something Ben had to worry about for a bit, right now he had nothing to do other than relax with his friends. He smiled as he heard Jane and Gil walk onto the garden balcony, the two separating as Gil sat next to Carlos and Jane next to (y/n). The two were temporarily broken up as Gil was now a legal adult at 18 (he was turning 19 in March) and Jane two years younger than him at 16. While no one, including Jane’s mother, had a problem with their relationship, the two decided to take a break until Jane was 18, if only because the two didn’t want any dirty looks from the old-fashioned Auradon folks.

Ben closed his eyes again and rested against his chair, ignoring Harry as the pirate began to balance oreos on Ben's exposed forehead, Mal snickering and helping Harry in his quest.

-one week later-

Ben stepped out of his car and walked into the jewelry shop, smiling as he saw Harry, CJ, and Harriet in the corner of the shop, Harry messing with his black-banded ruby ring with his fingers as he talked to the shop worker. “And her ring size?” the shop worker asked, holding out his hand as Harry handed him the ring.

“um-(ring size)” Harry offered, leaning on the counter and peeking over his shoulder as Ben stepped next to him and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. “Hey beasty”

“Hello, Harry” Ben hummed, a bright smile on his face as the shop owner looked over the ring and its band “getting it resized?”

“Aye, I've let (y/n) wear it before but it didn’t fit any of her fingers other than ‘er thumb, so” he gestured to the shop worker who started to sketch out the band design so he could copy it into the newly sized metal once made. Ben nodded and peered over Harry's shoulder to see CJ busying herself looking over the rings in the display box, Harriet's hand on her arm to prevent any thievery.

“Why bring them?” Harry looked at him through the corner of his eye.

“Harriet demanded ta come cuz it's our ma’s ring, an’ CJ threatened ta tell (y/n) about it if I didn’t bring ‘er” Ben winced, CJ did want Harry to marry (y/n) so ‘she could finally get a cool sister’ (which always resulted in a slap to the head from Harriet) but she was a brat and held the threat of telling (y/n) about Harry's plan over Harry's head to get what she wanted.

Harry turned back to the shop worker as he called Harry's attention, informing him of the time, price, and pick-up date of the ring resizing. Harry nodded and handed the shop worker his debit card, leaning on the counter as the shop worker walked off to go complete the transaction.

“Plus I wanted some family support” Harry muttered, a shy smile on his lips. Ben laughed softly and patted Harry’s back, rolling his shoulders and pulling down his plain sky-blue t-shirt as he looked around.

“When you thinking of asking?” Ben inquired, smiling as Harry bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I dinne kae, we’ve already talked about the possibility of marriage, I wanted ta make sure she was okay with it and she's all for it, but I have no clue when or how I’m gonna ask ‘er” Ben patted Harry’s back again in sympathy, not really having any advice for the flustered Harry.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out” Ben laughed, standing straight along with Harry as the shop worker returned with Harry's card and handed it to him.

“Thank you, Mr. Hook, it should be ready next month, we’ll give you a call about any updates and when it's finished. Thank you for coming to Doc's jewelry shop” Harry nodded and put his card in his wallet, nodding at Harriet as she grabbed CJ and dragged her out of the store following Harry and Ben, CJ pouting as she stared at the shiny rings.

“Ice cream” CJ demanded, wrenching herself out of Harriet's grip and looking up at Harry with a pout, but she was wearing Harry's hoodie, which almost encased her body completely and it made her much less threatening than she usually was with that ‘Hook’ glare on her face.

“I jus’ bought a fukin’ ring CJ, I ain't buying yeh nothing, yeh have money, use it” Harry snapped, glaring back down at his little sister as she puffed her cheeks and slapped his arm.

Ben laughed loudly and nodding his head towards the ice cream down towards the left end of the strip mall “Come on, I’ll buy” CJ cheered and raced towards the ice cream shop, Harry and Harriet giving the king a look of thanks as Ben trailed after CJ.

-end of part 7-

part 7 bbys~ yep, everything's coming together~ we officially getting to the timeline of D3 and interlude is finally in 2019 yall. and i knoooow Gil and Jane broke up, but while i don't have problem with age gaps, Gils 18, janes 16 (turning 17 that year but still) it looks a bit weird and while FG approves of their relationship the two decided it would be best to wait until Jane is a legal adult. anyway, yep, Harrys gonna propose...HAVE FUN WITH THAT!

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