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#I just keep finding out about stuff that makes me hate it more
mossyeyeballs · 18 hours
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TW: mentions of pretty much everything terrible. 🍇, trafficking, all of the above.
CLASS OF 09 RANT, FLIP SIDE SPOILERS
Ok not my usual post (I’ve posted twice ik but shush) but what the freak was the flip side??….. I was a huge fan of class of 09 + the re up but this game was so.. what’s the word….. dog shit? Even if we ignore half of the game being about the creators weird foot fetish, the sl@ve ending was so unnecessary. I feel like the only thing in that route that was worth writing was the issue in retail work and that wasn’t even the star focus, let alone side focus. The main plot of that route was the counselor having some weird illegal 🌽 warehouse, jecka finding it, and then him blackmailing her into human 🚙 🚙 ing?
The only ending I thought was necessary IF THAT was when Jecka found Nicole after the sue a side ending from re up. I thought it did a decent job at talking about sue a side victims, and how nobody really cares about them until it’s too late, And even then they only care for a week or so and then move on.
But the Jeffery dying one was the most out of place in my opinion (unfortunately it beats the foot ending.) For starters, Nicole was really out of character imo, like yeah she’s talked about wishing Jeffery was dead before, but her actually killing him just out of boredom is so odd. Her entire character is “I don’t put effort into anything unless it benefits me.” Killing Jeffrey was not only ALOT of effort, but she gained absolutely nothing. On top of that, saying it’s different than doing. Like how she talked about wishing her mom was dead, but then when she had a heart attack, she panicked. Plus, she PLANNED on making Jecka take some of the blame on his death, which she stated in past games she wouldn’t do. She literally never put Jecka in harms way, let alone jail if it didn’t also benefit them both. But this didn’t, she just did it to do it.
While we’re talking about Nicole being out of character, I feel it valid to mention her and Jeckas dad. For obvious (and gross) reasons, I won’t be detailing this, but her doing that to Jecka wasn’t fully out of character, but still odd. Like I mentioned earlier, Nicole never really did anything to spite Nicole, so I find it odd that she did in this game. You could blame it on “oh she’s a sociopath she doesn’t care.” But I don’t think that’s inherently true. Yeah, I guess it’s canon she’s a sociopath, but in that case they do a bad job at consistency. She’s shown in both games 1 and 2 caring about people she’s close with, whether it’s Jecka, her mom, or even Emily in one segment. So I find it completely random that she did this to Jecka over something as small as not sharing how she got into foot work. Jeckas done much worse stuff to Nicole, and Nicole just didn’t care because they were friends, or didn’t feel the need to put effort into doing something if she did care. So yeah, Nicole basically screwing Jeckas dad over something so little felt out of character.
One of the few things that bothered me the least, but I feel the need to mention was the foot work stuff. Not because it was out of character, i fear I’ve seen worse stuff mentioned in that game. But I guess the way it was portrayed as less of a story plot and more of the creator trying to live out his fantasies. He himself has stated Jeffrey is basically a self insert, so the whole being sexually obsessed with Jecka and her feet felt REALLY weird. Compared to Nicole’s my space favor thing, this just felt dirty. For comparison. Both Jecka and Nicole took up sex work to keep a home life or lackthereof, they both got money from strangers to do sexual things, and they both hated doing it. But why did Jeckas feel so much more personal and gross? Because the actual sex work was shown. In graphic detail. And all of Jeffrey’s (the creators) personal thoughts were stated with no backlash. Jeffery literally asked Jecka if she would 🍒feed him, and he was excused. When Nicole was asked the same hing from the same guy, he was insulted, yelled at, even told to leave.
So, creepy creator who’s obsessed with his barely legal characters, Jecka being sold to 🚙 🚙ing agaisnt her will, Jeffrey being murdered for no reason other than a giggle or two from his haters, Jecka accidentally killing Ari cause she was drunk driving, feet fan service, and fan service in general aside, the game is left only with the regular drug and alcohol abusage we always see. which in the game that was advertised as a new experience felt really stale and honestly left me bored. The ONE SINGULAR time during this game that I giggled was when the hat man appeared in the Ari route.
If you’ve fully ignored everything I said in this, maybe didn’t care, or didn’t even read it. Id just like to mention for everyone that the creator of this game said that anybody who disliked him, his games, his writing, or his humor were kid diddlers. In full seriousness. So yeah, no shock this game was bad, but I guess I shouldn’t have expected better from someone who thinks his haters are all child likers. All this being said, I enjoyed class of 09, and the re up. I’m hoping the anime episode that comes out soon with be a decent save. all of THAT being said, I don’t support this creator. I don’t support his actions, I think he’s a shitty person who’s made some shitty jokes, but made some not so shitty games that I decently enjoyed. I also haven’t bought them, so none of my money has gone towards him or his projects. I in NO WAY support him. Thanks for reading.
Feel free to comment down some of your own opinions if you feel so inclined, I’m interested in what everyone else thought of this game :))
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lvnleah · 20 hours
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Hi!! I said about lotte earlier, I’d love some kind of lotte x reader maybe early in relationship and reader has a fight with her family which she ends up spilling to the team in changing room/ team night. lotte instinctively gets really protective/ angry which puts their relationship to the group? or maybe something to do with a creepy fan at a match, lotte gets protective and their relationship is shared online? feel free to make any changes ❤️❤️
Under Pressure | Lotte Wubben-Moy
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thank you so much for this request <33
word count: 900 a little short one!
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The hum of the changing room settled as you took a deep breath, peeling your training top off. The atmosphere was filled with the usual banter, chatter about the training session, weekend plans, and who got the most nutmegs that day. You had kept quiet for most of the day, a smile here and there, nodding along to your teammates’ chatter. But your mind was still spinning, replaying the argument with your family earlier that day.
You had walked out of that conversation, your head pounding, feeling like you had been run over by a truck. You couldn’t shake the hurtful words, the way their disbelief in your relationship with Lotte had made you feel so small. It was one thing for them to disapprove of your career in football, but to disapprove of her, of something that made you so happy, was a punch to the gut.
You and Lotte had been together for three months now, after being friends for so long you both decided it was time to try something new. Your family had never approved of you being a footballer let alone you being in a relationship with a woman.
“You okay?” Leah nudged you, bringing you back to reality instead of being inside of your head.
You forced a smile. “Yeah, just a bit tired. Didn’t get a lot of sleep.”
She didn’t seem convinced but thankfully didn’t push further. You were grateful for that, not sure if you’d be able to keep up the fake smile much longer. You wanted to scream, to vent, to let it all out, but you were also terrified of breaking down in front of everyone.
Later that night, the team decided to head to a local pub. A night out with the team was meant to be a distraction. The usual post-training hangout was filled with laughter, clinking glasses, and friendly teasing. But the mask you wore all day was starting to crack. Lotte, sitting across from you, noticed too. Her eyes flickered with concern, and she reached out under the table, her hand squeezing yours. It was a simple gesture, but it almost made you crumble.
“Babe, are you sure you’re okay?” she whispered, leaning in close so only you could hear. Her voice was gentle, her thumb brushing against your knuckles.
You nodded, but the lump in your throat only grew. “Yeah, just family stuff.”
You could see the flicker of anger in her eyes, her jaw tightening slightly. She hated that you were hurting and hated even more that it was because of them. You loved her protective side, but right now, you needed her to stay calm. The last thing you wanted was to drag the team into this.
But the dam broke when someone asked innocently about your family. “They still giving you grief about football?” Viv asked, her tone light but laced with genuine concern.
You hesitated, the weight of the day pressing down on you. “Not just about football,” you muttered, and the words spilled out before you could stop them. “They… they don’t understand why I’m with Lotte. They don’t think it’s serious, and they don’t think she’s… right for me.”
Silence settled over the group. You looked up to find everyone staring at you, the concern and sympathy evident in their faces. You felt exposed, vulnerable, and you wished you could take the words back, shove them down where they wouldn’t see the light of day.
Lotte’s hand tightened around yours, “That’s bullshit,” she said, “You deserve better than that.”
Your eyes widened, and you tried to give her a look, something to tell her to calm down, but she was on a roll now, her anger radiating off her in waves. “They don’t know what they’re talking about. You’re amazing, and if they can’t see that, then screw them. You don’t need their approval.”
The room was silent, everyone watching the two of you with wide eyes. It dawned on you then that she had said all this in front of the entire team. It wasn’t like you were hiding your relationship, but you hadn’t exactly put it out there either. You had wanted to keep it private, to let it grow naturally, without the pressure of everyone knowing. But now, there it was, out in the open.
You swallowed hard, glancing around the table. Leah was looking at you with a small, knowing smile, Viv and Beth exchanged a look, and the rest of the team seemed to be processing this new information.
“Uh, well, I guess that’s out now,” you said with an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of your neck.
Lotte turned to you, her anger melting away, replaced by a soft, almost apologetic expression. “Sorry, I just… I hate seeing you like this. I didn’t mean to…”
You shook your head, squeezing her hand. “It’s okay. I just hate that they get to me so much.”
She smiled softly. “I’m sorry.”
You leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”
A collective “awww” went around the table, and you could feel your cheeks burning as you pulled away, but you couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips. Maybe it wasn’t how you planned to reveal your relationship, but looking around at the team’s warm, accepting smiles, you realised it didn’t matter.
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bluastro-yellow · 8 months
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I want the marketing and advertisement industry to explode now
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torybrennan · 3 months
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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supersecretnerd · 3 months
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
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I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
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#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮‍💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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floral-hex · 1 year
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Somehow one of my old high school notebooks ended up at goodwill and not only did someone buy it, but they found my phone number and texted me 😬😬😬 which is… not cool, but also they turned out to be nice, so whatever, I guess
#I got this and started kinda freaking out because I had no idea what was in it#and how do people keep finding my phone number???#damn I kinda hate this digital world#anyway I figured out that one of my trash bags got mixed in with my goodwill donations a couple of weeks back#and some goodwill worker actually looked through all the trash and thought ‘yeah someone will buy this old used notebook’#anyway they sent me a pic of a couple of pages and I’m prettttty sure it’s all just dumb highschool stuff for tv broadcasting#but they were nice and it made me feel nostalgic to briefly talk about it with someone so I can’t be too mad#I mean… I dunno#maybe it’s some bored teenager and they find this weird notebook and want to know more about it#not that there’s anything too wild in there#really I vaguely remember flipping through it before tossing it and I don’t remember anything eye catching#if it had anything I really thought was important I probably would have kept it#and it’s about 15 years old so I’m of the mind that it’s aged past my need to worry what’s in it#eventually you get old enough that the stuff you did in your teens feels like someone else’s bullshit#like… 15 years on I’m barely the same person#whatever is embarrassing in there is embarrassing for teen Ian not current Ian#but wow… I really hope they didn’t pay for that#or that they at least got a few laughs out of it#that would actually make up for finding my number#if someone else can even briefly enjoy some of my old dumb stuff then that’s pretty cool#but also… how’d they get my fucking number!?#bleghhhh#for a second I hoped it was one of my old poetry books.#I would love to get one of those back#I used to have so many notebooks of my poetry#but ya know dumb teen-to-twenties Ian had to get all moody and trash them#well… that’s life I guess#ok anyway sorry to bother you#mine#text
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yaminerua · 9 months
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my mum: stopped me at every opportunity I asked to come see my dying grandpa bc ‘you don’t want to see him like this’ even tho I already had seen him and he had been happy to see me after years estranged from that side of the family and I very much wanted to fit as much time with him in as possible before it was too late and in the end she blocked me from all of it
also my mum: you never came to see your grandpa, you don’t give a shit
and now my mum yet again: won’t let me come see my gran who has been losing weight and falling and breaking bones a lot and been in and out of hospital since being on her own. Didn’t let me go talk to gran when we were both at my great aunt’s funeral last year and so I never saw her and she only found out I was there through other people who saw me. Refuses every time I ask to see my gran, including now when I’ve got presents for her
also my fucking mum right now in the same breath as refusing to allow me to come over: you never come to see your gran, you don’t give a shit
make it make fucking sense jfc
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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icharchivist · 10 months
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i understand the point people are making with those posts but it's always a bit funny to me when i see those posts about like "god people are so weird with how they talk about Japanese/Korean culture, imagine we do the same thing with Germany and suddenly start to drop German words into our sentences like that that'd be so weird" and it's like, yeah, i can imagine that, very well, that's what living in Europe in the late 2000s during the Tokio Hotel mania was like.
Like, unironically exactly like that.
I get the original point, i really do, but this might be the wrong example.
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medicinemane · 10 days
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The world is set on prescriptivism and... it doesn't jive with me
#I could elaborate on what I mean; but I don't see much point when it's not like anyone's even gonna see this#and I just kinda doubt that anything I'd have to say here would be all that insightful anyway#but I just find myself a descriptivist living in a world full of prescriptivists#which maybe that sounds silly; but I promise I mean something specific with it#and a lot of what I mean boils down to the concept that almost everyone seems to 'know' the right way to go about this or that#where as me... the more I live the more I find everyone's path is unique; and the stuff that worked for me isn't a good fit for everyone#and on the inverse; things that make me miserable might be exactly what someone else needs#every solution needs to be custom tailored to fit the person who uses it; that's what I find#(you can make some general guesses or nudges; but you're going to need to treat the patient; not the chart)#(ie; you're gonna need to actually engage with the specific person and figure out what works; not just toss generalisims at them)#so that's my stance; I don't try and say how things should be (when it comes to people) I just try and see how they are and go from there#...that's not how much of anyone else tends to view things; so I find anyway#everyone always has infinite advice about how you can do exactly what they think would fix your situation#and it comes from a place of caring; doesn't it? they say do this cause they're convinced that's what you need to do#but... both for me and for others I find it's rarely that simple; if it was that easy they'd have already done it#it's like my last therapist; all these ideas about what I needed to do (that were dumb; but had a kernel of sense in them)#(things like his suggestion I play pvp in a game with bad pvp and also I hate pvp)#(when the better suggestion was to group more; because the point was to get out of my comfort zone in low risk ways)#but he had all these ideas and it felt like he got very frustrated when I wasn't moving forward; so... I quit seeing him#and... turns out what I needed to move forward was to wait like a year or two for a big shake up#where I finally had the chance to leverage things into owning my house... and then I could actually act again#like right now I may be stuck; but not like then; I actually do have many ways forward that I can try and work on things#(and... I slowly try to... I'm not why people seem so convinced that I haven't thought of trying to move forward...)#(I just suck and it takes me a long time... way longer than I'd like... but I do try and keep moving forward)#eh... why do I even bother writing shit like this?#mm tag so i can find things later
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mr-ribbit · 3 months
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not to keep harping on this but if you HATE shaving your body or any other part of your "beauty routine": stop doing it. just stop doing it, at least for a little while (maybe when you don't have a lot going on if that helps) and HONESTLY gauge how it makes you feel. is this feeling better or worse than the amount of time, stress, and money the routine takes? do YOU actually prefer how you looked before, or are you only worried about what others think? if you stopped doing the routine forever, could you find other ways to feel better about yourself with that energy?
when I was like 19 and the idea of not shaving my legs anymore first occurred to me (bc I had a Cool Progressive Boyfriend that Didn't Care) i just stopped and it was immediately like... a quantifiably large chunk of unnecessary anxiety just sloughed off my life forever. instantaneously I got rid a bunch of effort and stress I had been accepting as normal, and replaced it with more time to do what actually made me feel 'ready' in the morning, like hygiene, coffee, preparing for my activities etc.
and i DONT feel self conscious about body hair personally but even if I did, no amount of shame over hair could outweigh how much easier my life is. not just bc 'shaving annoying' or 'long showers' or whatever, but like. yeah I don't waste as much time getting ready anymore, and I also don't have to realize last minute before some leg-showing event that im unfit for display and have a whole self-esteem plummeting anxiety attack about whether I should rush it unsafely and risk being late, cut up, and stressed out before the event, or go With Hair and feel judged the whole time. i don't have to go through any of those emotions and when anyone does comment on my hair rudely, im in a much healthier place to deal with it and tell them to fuck off rather than validate THEIR fucked up standards by feeling bad.
once I realized I didn't give a shit and neither did anyone I cared about, it also gave me the freedom to cut out a bunch of other shit I was only doing (or Thinking I Should) bc it was what girls Have To Do to be presentable. fuck shaving fuck waxing fuck eyebrow shaping fuck concealer fuck multi step skincare fuck shapewear fuck lip fillers fuck contouring fuck teeth whitening fuck all of it, you do not need to change ANYTHING about how you look Every Single Day.
for those of you about to say "but I like being shaven/wearing makeup/literally pulling hair out of my face painfully every day etc etc etc":
have fun and mod your avatar all you want but for gods sake if you hate it and complain about how long it takes and all the stuff you "have" to buy or do just to "get ready" - you do not have to. you're not just having fun. you are not getting Ready, you are making your mood and experience worse for yourself, which is going to make you feel unready and unprepared for actually being yourself comfortably.
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yuttikkele · 4 months
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I uhhhhh think the next art joke should be “making your OCs happy and fulfilled” instead of “my only job as a creator is to traumatize my OCs because they’re boring without it”
#I’ve seen stuff that’s like “art community we only have like three jokes we need more” so I propose this#there’s nothing wrong with giving your OCs trauma but I’m honestly pretty tired of seeing people say “if my OCs met me they’d seek revenge”#Like ALL of your OCs? No offense but do you realize how bad that sounds??#those ppl might just be referring to one oc. or they’re not thinking about the interaction very critically#Because I think the average response for most people who find out their life is made-up is existential crisis not immediate revenge.#As for people thinking their OCs would hate them. Like does that not make you sad? If I found out my OCs hated me I think I’d cry#The main problem I have with it is that I keep seeing people say their OCs would want revenge on them like it’s a badge of honor#like “oh I traumatized my OCs so bad I’m not making it out alive!”#Like you don’t have ONE oc that always sees light at the end of the tunnel and believes everyone can be good?#And you don’t have any OCs that imagine and daydream and come up with their own stories??#Like your OCs find out they’re in a story that you made and their first thought is “YOU made me suffer.” instead of#“this person thought they were making a fictional story. They didn’t know we were real.” ????#and like once again I understand some irrational OCs who might jump to conclusions like this. But ALL OF YOUR OCS???#ok sorry I think I got it out of my system#i just like being positive man#ack#text post
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ghostickle · 5 months
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#I wish I could go back in time never had met either of them#never trusted them never given them everything#I moved in with him because he begged me too I wanted to live alone#and now I’m getting fucked over#I do everything I can for people I pour everything I can into people#give them all my time and energy do anything I can to make them happy hurting myself in the process#and when they can’t get anything more out of me when they got bored of me I get treated like this#and left to rot#with nothing#and it keeps happening#I find a person who I think will genuinely care about me and love me the way I do for them#who truly wants me around#and I trust them#and they take that trust to use me and everything just keeps repeating#why can’t I just be loved#they only love me when they’re able to use me and make me into what they want#ghost rambles#they don’t even hide that they’re only using me by the end of it.#I’m there for every thing they struggle with whenever they feel alone#I get them presents I make them food and treats I get into whatever their interests are so they can show stuff off to me#but no one’s done it for me#they don’t even look when I try to show my art#they don’t care about my music#they were never there when I was struggling#shit there’s been times he found me crying with fresh cuts blade still out and just wants to talk about how everyone hates him#just wants me to drop everything to comfort him#ignores that id been crying couldn’t care less that I relapsed#it’s always about them
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alchemiclee · 5 months
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as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3
thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!
I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:
i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.
I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.
so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all
so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...
(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)
#i dont know how to ask for attention without asking for attention because attention seeking is bad and annoying#the more needy and annoying you come off the more people will ignore you. saying i need someone to talk to or hang out with gets me ignored#but being vague gets me also ignored???? like just trying to start a convo by throwing things out randomly doesnt work either#so if i cant be direct or indirect or invite people or ask to be invited or anything else ive tried ehst do i do?#how do i satisfy this stupid social need im cursed with? it takes me a month or 3 to recover from socializing so its not like i always ask#but its still too much. and “you need to find the right people” isnt helpful. because how!!! ive been looking for that for 30 years lmao#i just need someone to invite me and always invite me every time and always reach out first every time (well not every time. just dont make#me be the one every time because thats how it usually seems to go)#but no one wants to do the work and tell me when its ok to bother them. if i bother someone too many times in a row and get no response#then i will stop and wait. and wait. and wait. and give up eventually. or after certain amount of rejections i give up.#so that i dont come off as needy and attention seeking and obnoxious. if people want me they can come to me. and when no one does#that just feels bad. i hate that it feels bad. i wish to make that stop. i wish to turn off feelings.#i cannot figure out the line between bothering someone too much or just enough. how much am i required to push people#and how much is too much where i snap the line while trying to reel them in? because ive snapped more times than ive caught#or the bait just gets completely ignored and i get bored of waiting#oops im slipping into metaphor territory now. that means its time to stop saying words.#hopefully no one reads my annoying tags. i just needed a free space to ramble and vent amd tags are lile little whispers to do that in#but also it is autism acceptance month. people should be adopting a local autistic(me) person to show them what having friends is like#lee rants#im being super particular about how i need to socialize right now as well. dont want trauma bonding/life talks/depression sharing type stuff#only want special interest light hearted goofy fun talks. but those are so hard to do. its easy for people to default into doom conversation#but its hard to keep them on my topic of interest and to stay positive 😭
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tabbytiger · 8 months
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Having the profound realization that, yes, I am indeed psychotic. I also have adhd so they are holding hands. Think I’ve been in a psychotic episode since the last months of 2023 and I’m just now realizing it. 😭 I wrote it off as just my paranoid anxiety but like gorly those are symptoms of Psychosis.
Umm anyways who wants to perform a ritual to rid me of this ailment.
#13#the urge to confront a delusion but you’re too afraid to ask for validation#Like I know its a delusion but I’ve experienced it before so its hard to rationalize#I’m scared if I ask for validation or comfort I might make people in my life irritated or angry#Like what if it just makes them dislike me more#Genuinely one of the worst delusions i have#I feel so strongly to try and be the perfect person and friend but I keep not being aware of what im doing or saying#And then It just feeds into the delusion#Like the grip this has on me#That and my stupid delusion of thinking someone is going to break in and kill me or my family in the middle of night#Or I think they’re already dead or I just get terrified that I’ll find them when I wake up#Me genuinely getting afraid when I have ���thoughts that may manifest into reality’ and I HAVE to knock on wood#I also genuinely think hiding under the covers will save me#cryptids??? yup they’re real and they’re going to get me if I talk or think about them#I unplug a lot of stuff before sleeping bc I’m afraid house will explode#Also after the marshalls fires happened I’ve been worrying about my house catching fire in the middle of night#I hate it when people walk behind or close to me in the same direction#If I see what i percieve as ‘weird’ stuff on my foods I stop eating it cuz I’m worried it might make me sick or diseased#Ive literally passed out during psychotic attacks bc I get so terrified something bad will happen my brain just shut off the power#Like I know they’re mostly irrational and not real or true but the belief that it is is soo strong u still get scared#They make me avoid stuff as well#Like seeing a vc w all my friends in it but not joining even if I want to bc I’m scared something bad my happen#or that me joining will upset and interrupt what they’re doing#Or i genuinely think they don’t want me there or that they don’t like me so I get anxious and lay in bed for hours#for the last like 4-5 months I’ve been spending all my free time lying in bed not moving bc I lack energy#Its hard for me to believe people want me or the concept of emotional permanance#Like I genuinely can’t grasp the concept that people by default aren’t constantly up with you#and that love can last longer than the minutes it was expressed#I keep losing my train of thoughts my memory is getting worst I’m word vomiting more#A thing I do that annoy people a lot is sometimes I will the the long way to get to the point I’m talking abt
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bunnis-monsters · 30 days
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Ahh your bee hybrids are making me think of the dynamics of the bulls and cows ♡♡ So doting and loving~ Soft and fuzzy!
I keep thinking about a nearby wasp or hornet colony getting a little jealous hearing about such a pretty queen - they're so big and scary..
Just rambly thoughts hehe, enjoy your day/night~
Let’s just say that you had a good relationship with the wasp hybrids before becoming the queen of the bee hybrids. You may have even had a fling with one or two, and they told the others.
For a while they watched on in jealousy, wanting you for themselves, until some got brave.
A few wasps get in and mate with the queen, filling you with their own eggs. It’s different than mating with the bees, they fuck and stuff you, leaving you with bite marks and hickeys… it feels so good…
The bee hybrids are devastated when they find out and aren’t sure what to do… while they hate the idea of sharing you, they’d also prefer to not go to war with the wasp hybrids. Hive vs Hive won’t end well, and your safety is their top priority.
So they find the wasps responsible and execute them… but you don’t really like that. Now the bees have made their beloved queen sad, and their next suggestion only angers you further.
They want to just kill the eggs, but that upsets you! They’re your eggs, and you get to decide if you carry them or not! The bees are at a loss. While killing them isn’t allowed by you, they can’t stay in the bee hive, that’s dangerous. Wasps are aggressive and they’re afraid they’ll hurt your bee hybrid babies.
The wasps send an ambassador, who says the other hive will go to war with them for the queen… but they offer a compromise.
Since both hives love you and neither of them wants to suffer through a war, they suggest sharing you.
So they hesitantly accept the offer to share their queen, the only stipulation being that they have more access to her and their eggs are the priority. The wasps don’t really plan on obeying that rule, but they agree because god they want you so bad.
Now imagine being surrounded by the aggressive and rough wasp hybrids that are deliciously rough on your fat cunt while you’re also being worshipped and adored by the bee hybrids who mate with you however you please…
You’d spend your days going from one hive to another, being given more and more love and affection as both hives try to stay in your favor and possibly convince you to stay with them forever.
They’re both very possessive species, and aggressive when it comes to their hive and queen. Who knows how long this treaty will last.
This scenario could be explored more if anyone’s interested.
I think the bees would usually not do this, but with the added lore that the queen was once friendly with the wasps and they are more desperate to have her means the bees would rather share than potentially lose to war. In their minds they can’t comprehend that the wasps would never hurt you, they think that they will take out the entire hive along with you.
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