#'its fine if I die trying to save people tho its fine if i do it' fucking idiot man full of problems

[raideo]

Im fucking dying this was such a fantastic line...

This man can fit so many problems in him

[auckie]

People often say tuna, or salmon, are good fish to offer someone who’s never had sushi before. And that’s fair, they’re red like rare beef and offer a similar fatty richness that can appeal to those who foolishly fear raw fish. Tuna can pair nicely with all the stupid shit they put in ‘California rolls’ sure. But I’ve always stood by mackerel being the best due to its incredibly subtle but rewarding taste story. If you haven’t tried it go get it and experience the elegance and feminine beauty of tale in which it will weave your tastebuds. The mackerel has much to say! It’s best on its own as sashimi and dare I say, raw and unfettered by its own oils, it almost doesn’t even taste like fish in the same way other fish do, and save the cold and slightly damp texture you almost wouldn’t know what you’re eating by flavor alone, if you’ve never had it. But ofc ppl who don’t like raw fish get scared by that and won’t try it 😔 and that’s fine. Whatever! Keep your head in the sand. Go die in a cave! I feel VERY strongly about this I have so much to say about the mackerel. I caught one with my hands in the ocean once it jumped up and hit my tits and I caught it and looked at it long and hard then let it go. It is my favorite fucking fish (to eat). I hope this post has whet your whistle. Go on, go out, and try the noble mackerel, raw! Or dried. There’s bones tho. Save grilled for last bc it really is greasy as hell. But that’s how you know it’s full of omega 3! And low in mercury.

[morganalefae]

s3 morgana being "beyond redemption" is soooooo crazy to me like yeah trying to kill the evil tyrant king whos been murdering every last one of your kind is sooooo evil lock her up and throw away the key!!

such a prime example of a kick the dog character too. like they cant condemn her for just fighting for her right to exist so they have her executing civilians and trying to have gwen executed to make her into the villian.

and! the same goes for morgause! literally what did she ever do wrong? uther conquered camelot (said by him in the episode where gili fights in the tournament) and then executed hundreds if not thousands of people with magic but morgause trying to kill the king is a step too far? why? its almost like the show is actually on uthers side 🤨🤨🤨🤨

which leads me to: the fact that we essentially watch the entire show through the pendragon perspective. merlin protects arthur so everything we learn about the purge and magic and the old religion is from uther/gaius. so, biased, to say the least. one of the most important things they tell you when researching history is to consider where your information is coming from and how that persons perspective influences their discussion of it.

which is why i also dont consider nimueh to be a villain. shes an activist! yeah she tried to kill arthur that one (?) time but he didnt even die so. doesnt count <3 but we SEE her having a conversation ALONE with uther where she says she didnt know what would happen to ygraine and i just cant imagine why she would lie. if she really wanted to hurt him she could have said she'd known and killed her on purpose but i dont think thats the case at all. she says she never would have helped him if she'd known what would happen. like, surprise, if you hunt and kill people for the crime of existing they will fight back and its not going to be the way you like it and innocent people will die. because thats war. you ruthlessly slaughter her people and she will slaughter yours.

worlds most unstructered post. professors hate her. anyway the show eventually starts to take on a very firm, "merlin has magic but ues not LIKE those other magic users therefore hes ok :) everyone else is evil tho. except the druids (sometimes :|)", whereby merlin using magic is only allowed if hes helping or saving arthur (except all those other times but we dont talk about those i guess) and his stance on magic eventually warps until hes just kind of horrible about it.

100% unpopular opinion but gaius should have died in s2 or 3. he influenced merlin far too much and basically never for the better. sorry to gaius lovers but i do NOT like that old man. he advises merlin EVERY time to not tell morgana about her magic (which she has no control over and therefore is manifesting in ways that will absolutely get her caught), to never help any of the unfairly persecuted people of the episode or even to use magic at all. hes a bootlicking coward who only helped people he cared for or when it suited him. how many people do you think he watched burn simply because he didnt agree with the way they used magic, whether it actually "evil" or not.

merlin's only friends who know about his magic are an old conservative man and a guy who dies right when merlin could have used the support of someone to help him "come out" to arthur about his magic.

im firmly of the opinion that had he told morgana about his magic everything would have been literally fine. because alone and with loterally no support system at all, is it any wonder that morgana would go down the road she did? after years of fear and watching people just like her be burned for the crime of existing, with no prophecy or friends to tell her that it wont always be this way. you dont have to be afraid because youre not the only one and i wont let anything happen to you. oh wait. she did get told that. by MORGAUSE. not about the prophecy but how can they be judged by trying to bring about change by themselves. by trying to kill a king whos killed so many of their own people.

if the intention of the show had been to give a poignant message about the cycle of abuse (morgana succumbing to bitterness and hatred just like uther) or how fear can control you (merlin eventually becoming essentially the bad guy, judging everybody who doesnt use magic the way he sees fit, staying silent and contributing to persecution of magic people because living in fear can make you paranoid and bitter (sound familiar?)) then i would applaud because wow did that make me fucking cry! and hit actually very close to home! and it was tragic and horrible but also inevitable

but as far as i can tell that was not at all the point, because in the end kilgharrah tells merlin the prophecy has been fulfilled, albion is united and magic returned! hurrah! but. um. did i miss something? when did that happen? oh, you mean when gwen is queen....? so.... gwen unites the land of albion and returns magic to the land? except, merlin seems to have lived on until the 21st century of our world and magic is not what i would call flourishing atm.

so i guess my question is... well actually i dont have a question. actually wait i do. what the fuck?

[rebo-chan]

I think one of my favourite moments in the series is the end of the storm battle. for one i am a die hard gokudera fan and in my opinion only the gamma fight surpasses it. And on the other-

The fact tsuna who is usually so reserved and just lets dera do his thing despite telling him quietly "you really don't have to"

Gets SO pissed at Gokudera for DARING to put his life on the line for this. A piece of jewelery and an empty title..

He calls it all meaningless if that means they cant just hang out together anymore.

Dera who links his own worth as a human being to his usefulness and position as a mafiosi is told "I just want you alive and by my side" in i think one of the most direct "this is the core of the whole series" moments we get.

When yamamoto faces ken he still holds back bc he doesnt want to get injured but as soon as TSUNA is in danger he says "fuck it" and gets serious.

In the shimon arc hibari picks up on tsunas depressive state and it annoys him so he changes that in his own way.

Its how mukuro in the rainbow trials cares for a tired fran.

Its how during the ring battles the girls and mama Sawada CONSTANTLY visit Lambo to make sure he is okay.

Its also how tsuna saves him in the first place. Fuck the rings, fuck the position, fuck this whole stupid arangement of fights- he has to save his family.

These people often get violent with each other and agressive, they bicker and they fight, but when the chips are down, all they care about is each other.

Most shounen protags have some kind of dream or goal, Tsuna just really really wants a quiet life and to spend that with his friends and family. The whole mafia buisness is just what he needs to do to keep that family he gained safe. Nothing tsuna EVER does is motivated by some ulterior motive for fame or riches. Its either him being FORCED into action bc he was literally kicked into it by reborn, or its because he has to resolve the situation to keep his friends and family safe.

The Caallone has a FUCKTON of members and so does the vongola and Tsuna really really really really REALLY doesnt care for any of that because in the end his own world is very small compared to the mafia.

I have to think of that one quote "why do you want to save this planet?" -"Because I live here!" for tsuna it would be "because my family lives here."

I mean be Tsuna isn't "heroic". Yeah he cares about other people and strangers, he helps old ladies, but when something is going on his go to isn't "I have to do something!" it's uauslly "man I hope SOMEONE does something. Not gonna be me tho!"

Sorry for the long ask i just wanted to rephrase what you said basically and send it back to you

HELLO AGAIN, thank you for the ask. Don't apologize at all for length, I'm absolutely foaming reading this.

I'm so glad you get what I was going for in the post. Those moments drive me insane. "They bicker and they fight but when the chips are down, all they care about is each other" and "Because my family lives here" I FEEL ABSOLUTELY INSANE ABOUT THESE LINES. You're so so right!!! The Vongola kids bully and tease and are nasty to each other, until it comes down to it and they fight tooth and nail for each other. Exactly what I was going for. The series doesn't need those scenes where Tsuna tells Gokudera he cares about him and they're warm and cuddly towards each other, bc it comes through in his words when meek and reserved Tsuna yells at him and tells him to stop trying to die for him or for some stupid ring. And I think that's so fun!! All the other stuff you listed also drives me so insane. For yamamoto, him letting himself get injured for Tsuna's sake was so good and Tsuna's love for Yamamoto shone through there too because Tsuna saw the injury and felt such immense guilt only apologizing for ruining everything for Yamamoto. Only for Yamamoto to go "No, I'm fine. As long as YOU'RE safe" like that's so good???

The Hibari thing?? How he sees Tsuna's depressed state over it all and all he says to comfort him is "Watch me." because that's all he could understand about the situation. That if he wins his fight, somehow Tsuna will cheer up. and its just so???? GOD ITS JUST SO FULL OF LOVE. Every character in this series shows love in their own ways and it drives me maddd

Mukuro taking care of a tired child too doesn't surprise me with his backstory. He's so gentle with people that are in "his care" even if he won't actively admit it.

The girls as well I'm so glad you pointed them out!! We so like to ignore them in this fandom and thats so sad bc the series makes it really clear that they are part of this equation too. That without their support, the fighters would not have made it. Tsuna could relax knowing Mama Sawada and the girls were watching Lambo and focus on his fight. And during future, he could focus on his training. Not to mention, they're just so supportive especially after they find out what's going on. The boycott episode and its resolution are some of my favorite scenes in Future, it makes me insane that the show gave the girls a Moment to remind us that they too are both deeply loved and ALSO love the boys just the same.

You're so right about Tsuna not being heroic, hell even in Shimon arc Enma is being bullied right infront of him and its Reborn that has to be like "STOP OR SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI WILL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!" He's kindhearted and he's got a good moral compass.. It's hard to explain, but you basically have to be IN Tsuna's circle for you to get that sort of "I will die for you" behavior kksjng otherwise he sorta reverts back to his "who me? im just a 14 yr old boy im nobody"

Thank you for sharing Lou (Or eternitas, whatever you'd prefer!) Spreading my own brain rot back at me very nice :^)

[l-lou-u]

HUGE JJK SPOILER

CHAPTER 221 (short) ANALYSIS and thoughts

I will use traductions by @ king_jin_woo on twitter

Ok i am not gonna talk about how refreshing seeing gojo was I missed him so much and Gege’s art style really made him look so good and he really was a breath of fresh air because I could talk about it for hours, no, i want talk more seriously about what happened

I think Gojo might have a plan to separate Sukuna and Megumi. He looked bothered that Sukuna was in Meg’s body and I know he isn’t really Mr.Emotional but he didn’t even freeze for a sec, he probably got himself ready for any kind of situation in that box and didn’t want either sukuna or kenjaku to see any kind of emotion (weakness) on his face, but this ? He didn’t seem to think much of it, since right after this ⬇️ he already thinks about something else.

Yuji and Yuta also said they had some plans, and Yuki’s diary about the souls ? Something’s going on and I don’t think Meg will be possessed by the end.

When we saw Megumi in the abyss :

I thought I was going crazy for seeing a infinite symbole reflecting on his face,meaning that Gojo will have a role in his saving, but maybe that wasn’t so stupid after all. And even if it’s a reach, that doesn’t really matter. Even if megumi is at the bottom of the abyss, there’s still light, there is still a way out of this, he just is in too much despair to see it.

(I’m still worried about the « let fate toy with you and die like a fool/clown » quote by Reggie tho)

Now about the fight gojo vs kenjaku & sukuna being postpone to the 24th december. When Kenjaku questions it, Gojo says that it would be confusing if Geto dies two different days, but that doesn’t make sense, when he comes out and sees Kenjaku, he tells him to be careful with his words as their will be his last, and he also said he came here to bury Geto properly. He didn’t give a shit about what day it was. So I think he has a plan and that was just an excuse.

The 24th December, the day they are supposed to fight, is obviously an important day for Geto and Gojo, as it is Geto’s death but also the day they (kinda) reconcilated, or at least, came to terms with each others. (Doesn’t that mean the same thing …?)

But it’s also and MAINLY an important day for …

Yuta (and Rika) !!!

Lets not forget that the 24th December was pretty much Yuta’s awakening day. Also, Yuta vs Kenjaku was teased long ago then never bought up again, when Yuta sait he would kill Kenjaku by himself and not let Gojo kill his best friend a 2nd time.

I really don’t think Gege would randomly drop that to never make anything with it again. Maybe we’ll see Yuta surpassing Gojo in term of strength, as he was always teased to be his successor as the strongest sorcerer. I do hope so. In anyway, I think Yuta will play a MAJOR role that day, and that Gojo has something in mind about him.

~~

Overall, I loved this chapter, (bonus points for Shoko wearing sunglasses (I hope they’re gojo’s) looking unimpressed and Kirara filming Gojo’s unboxing)

It makes me so hyped for what’s to come next, even if Gojo learning about Nanami’s, Yaga’s and his students fate will break my heart. I also wonder how he will react seeing Choso alongside everyone, since the last (and first) time he saw him, Choso was pretty much trying to kill him and kill innocent people soooo yeah, maybe he’ll be a little reluctant but if he sees that everyone is chill with him, Choso should be fine haha

During the one month wait for the final fight, I hope we’ll have more interactions between the characters. Especially GOJO AND SHOKO PLEASE their friendship is so cute and I need Gojo to realise that he’s not alone, which might be hard considering the context and their different strength levels (I will adress this more in gojo’s analysis I SWEAR ITS COMING)

But Yeah, after all those fights, I hope we’ll have more development about character’s relationships, and some more world building, especially about the souls stuff and how sukuna who was human became a curse

Thank you for reading !

[drabbles-of-writing]

as the OG source of the A Little Kindness AU aka Raine adopting Hunter I would LOVE to know how you would change it to be canon compliant. i mean obviously the reveal would be after everything, but god just imagine Hunter worrying about his anonymous friend/caretaker and he finds out its the FUCKING OWL LADY'S PARTNER and hes just so happy theyre ok and to know who helped him out all the time but also OH TITAN LUZ IS GONNA BE HIS SISTER EVEN MORE NOW!

~adoption anon

the little gray box who started it all!!!! welcome back

good lord there would be so many overhauls...just so incredibly many I gotta try to break it all down to smaller sections to even get. a glimpse

1) okay so as we have learned Raine was NOT, in fact, under any mind control, just pulling the biggest brained move on Snapdragon she ever did see. so raine doesn't even go missing in the first place, if anything they might halt the notes altogether but still remain in the castle just because they were under constant vigilance and meeting eda again mightve made them triply afraid of getting other people involved with their work. hunter stresses about it, as you do, but flapjack isn't freaking out cause HE'S seen raine's face, and he knows that they're fine, but he has no idea what happened, so Hunter is less concerned since Flapjack isn't. not by a lot tho.

2) so INSTEAD of Hunter booking it to Luz to plead for help on some criminals, he instead takes all of this suppressed fear and worry and stress and just kinda. balls it up. and then shoves all of it out in the open during Eclipse Lake. he goes HARD trying to get that Titan's Blood and the thing where he tried to relate to Amity over being a failure? he doubles down on that shit TREMENDOUSLY and their shared failing to live up to what other ppl wanted and pushing away their friends (granted Amity actually pushed Willow away to try and help, Hunter didn't push Raine away he just thought he did). you think his breakdown in Eclipse Lake was concerning? hes about to make it even more concerning. hes very very afraid for Bat and he would really rather they hate him than anyone found out they'd been talking to him and they got murdered, so he better try and beat the shit out of Amity! if Belos is pleased with him, maybe he'll hesitate on whatever punishment Bat might be having right now

3) Raine, bless 'em, keeps trying to help Hunter how they can, dropping these tiny hints they don't mean to drop. Hunter's part of setting up and preparing everything for the Coven Day Parade and Raine is noticeably always checking in on the Golden Guard. we know now that Hunter started showing his face more after the Palisman incident, but Raine isn't seen around often, so I imagine it's around the Coven Day Parade that they finally see what Hunter looks like--and good lord that IS a literal teenager what the hell did they DO TO HIM---alright scrap all the plans. darius, eberwolf, change of plans. everything stays the same, but we're kidnapping Hunter on the way out

4) Any Sport in a Storm is pretty much the same, Hunter is just even antsier & more desperate to get these new friends to like him bc. Bat. and also punts Darius twice as hard. Darius for his part is only marginally nicer because he knows Raine's weirdly attached to this little rat of a child--oh wait nvm he sees why now. alright valid point. Darius is a firm believer in "for the love of god just tell him you're Bat it will save everyone a lot of stress" but unfortunately Raine subscribes to "if anyone i really care about is within fifty feet of me we are All Going To Die"

5) mostly everything would stay the same in Hollow Mind, i think? Raine, Darius and Eberwolf might actually go up to the Owl House and speak when Hunter and Luz get trapped in Belos's mind since its both Raine and Darius that are stressed as fuck over the kid? in that instance then everyone teams up much quicker (and in confusion) but Hunter still books it out at fast speeds into the woods and somehow makes it to Hexside. he's a slippery little bastard, but luckily now theres a whole gang teamed together to track him down and hes found by Darius pretty quickly after the Owl House is evacuated and torn apart. however Hexside is VERYYYYY on edge over coven heads claiming to want to "help" and "have betrayed the Coven" so they're all beating Darius back like a rabid raccoon and Hunter thinks he's here to kill him. so thats fun. eventually Darius gives up, scruffs Raine, and throws them down at Hexside and demands they finally clear shit up. its a very cute scene of Raine sneaking in and slipping little notes under the door of whatever classroom Hunter's hiding for his life in, wherein he realizes Bat's come back. and Hunter's finally brave enough to yank open the door to---RAINE?????

6) more stuff that mostly stays the same. Hunter however is very stressed over Raine when they're trapped in the human realm which eventually leads to him and Luz talking a lot and him realizing "im sorry waht the fuck do you MEAN that the owl lady and raine whispers were a THING??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES STILL SOMETHING THERE????" but above all i want to fuck this boy up so insanely bad and at least give him a GLIMPSE of Raine's puppet body being possessed by Belos. even if there is no interaction other than Hunter seeing them for a brief flash I know in my heart that would fuck him up so bad. he would blame himself so so much. Belos really here to kill everything he loves before he can finally be free huh

7) MOST importantly they finally get to hug when everyones reunited and hunter feels SO INCREDIBLY GUILTY when he sees all the fresh new scars Raine has courtesy of Belos. to which Raine, in peak parent fashion, just goes "nah, i dont mind 'em. now we match :]" and Hunter's just god u are missing the point so badly but i'll let it slide. how'd you know my new scars were from belos. and raine just stares like "how did i know your new scars were from WHAT????? oh im so glad i killed his ass" "YOU DID WHAT"

[libbys-braincell-loss]

Im coming up with a book thats sole purpose is to get banned for representing actual things that could possibly happen in society

Abridged version:

High school kid deals with survivor's guilt, sexual assault, identity crisis, and parents divorcing, all while being a high school junior

If this summary sounds mildly interesting to you, read below

TW // Car accident, assault, homophobia

Theres a boy who tries to save a victim of a car accident with CPR before ambulance shows up, finds out next day the victim died in the hospital, starts feeling like hes the one who killed him

The boy has 3 friends - his best friend, who is a straight ally who loves spray painting graffiti with him, another close friend who identifies as a pansexual demigirl and does photography of their artworks, and this guy who the main boy thinks is REALLY cute but won't admit he has a crush on him (he has a huge crush on him, crush develops more in the story) and this fellas a closeted gay and master of the paintbrush and finer details. Together they make the FINEST graffiti in Maryland

Main boy shows interest in feminine outfits, but is afraid to wear them due to fear of losing his friends and family's respect

The main boy gets sexually assaulted by a girl, he makes her stop, and she starts making false claims that he raped her as "payback" to make him feel bad that he made her stop, and he begins developing trauma (i've seen many portrayals of girls getting assaulted by guys but i've never heard of stories where its the other way around, even tho it can happen, but people will say im being "sexist, this is going against women, it portrays women as bad guys" SHUT. women can do terrible things just like men, they just get away with it more since they're women. If i sound sexist im not im literally a women lol)

Main boy realizes he's bi, comes out to parents, mom is accepting but dad isn't, the parents have had many disputes in the past but them not agreeing whether or not their son can be whoever he wants is the straw that breaks the camels back, and eventually they divorce, and the dad (who had a healthy relationship with his son) cut contact with his own son

Main boy drifts emotionally closer toward his friends, who accept him just fine with no fuss

Main boy FINALLY gets the courage to ask out his gay crush, and FINALLY they end up dating and FINALLY get to hold hands

Main boy is getting trauma and anxiety from past things that have happened, friends and supportive (yet still not fully knowledgeable of his current situation) mom comfort him and remind him continuously that NOTHING IS YOUR FAULT. the person who died didn't die because of you doing something wrong. the girl who assaulted you and claimed you raped her did that, not because you did something wrong. your dad divorced your mom, but not because you did something. And i think thats an important message to have. If you tried your hardest to make things right, then you shouldnt be the one to blame when things go wrong. I think this should be engraved in everyones heads.

Boy gains more courage to be himself, and decides to try new things he always wanted to do, but was afraid of backlash if he did it. He tried on skirts. Dresses. Skinny jeans. Crop tops. Dying hair. Going out in public with this new style he wanted to try. Hanging out with his friends and mom in his outfits and realizing how much he loves this. He still likes his guy clothes, but he loves his girl clothes just as much.

Boy realizes he might not be a boy after all. But he doesn't feel like a girl either. He goes to his demigirl friend for help and they suggest he might be non binary, and he realizes he might be

Our newly-out enby fella comes out to their friends with a new name that he likes a lot more than his og name. His friends and bf still accept them and love them nonetheless

They continue on with their life, they do get made fun of by other people they meet, but they shove it out of the way, cuz thats just life man

Also keep in mind this entire story takes place while this guy is a junior in high school. The entire book.

Basically, this story is just a book about problems in society that get overlooked too much, and it's main message is "this isn't your fault. just because a problem happened to you doesn't mean you caused it", and its also a book that is supposed to be "banned". cuz banned books are better than non-banned books bahaha

if anybody who's experienced these things before would like to give me input on how these experiences should be portrayed in the story (because i have not experienced any of these things before) so i know how it should be portrayed in the story. (you are not obligated to, cuz these are touchy subjects, but if you are comfortable enough to, send it via asks, it will remain in the asks and i wont post a response to it to keep your privacy. And, if you have experienced any of these, just know: i love you, stranger and i hope everything improves for you. and if things have improved already, good on you. <333 im sorry if any of these things happened to you.)

[thefloatingstone]

More of a suggestion if you wanna watch a Holocaust film that isnt so traumatic as Schindler's List or the Pianist, Life is Beautiful is actually a really good film on the subject even using the theme of "humor can get you through the worst"

I think I am vaguely aware of "Life is Beautiful".

I think a big problem behind movies that deal with the Holocaust is that there is a very fine line between accurate portrayal in a way I can emotionally handle, and a portrayal that sanitises the event to a degree where it becomes insulting (see: Boy in the Striped Pajamas).

I still find Maus to be the best balance in terms of fully giving a first hand account of the full horrors of surviving the Holocaust but due to the presentation of being both a book as well as the art giving just enough degree of separation where I don't feel like I want to die afterwards for a full month after finishing it.

It's difficult tho because I can never fully predict WHAT will trip up the little switch in my head which makes a WWII set story deeply traumatic for me to watch. I have never watched "Saving Private Ryan" but I have no interest in doing so. Because I watched History Buff's video on in and the clip of the kid lying on the Normandy beach crying for his mom bothered me so much I completely swore off ever watching the movie.

It's a really difficult balance and I try my best to listen to people's experiences with war films and how hard it hits, specifically around WWII (although not always. For instance I also have 0 interest in ever watching "Come and See" based on its reputation and I can't remember if that is WWII adjacent or if it's specifically the Belarusian war. Either way I know the movie's reputation and despite Mosfilms making it free on their youtube channel, I know I can't handle that one.)

I feel it's worth mentioning that when I was 16 we studied WWII in high school for a month or so, and our teacher had us watching recreation footage of the Nuremberg Trials which included real life footage taken by the Allies of the concentration camps. And when you're 16 that kind of imagery hits extremely hard and puts things into a much more realistic perspective. (also pretty sure I read Maus for the first time when I was 16 as well but I can't fully recall)

Although in all honesty, most historically accurate films upset me greatly depending on the subject matter. Weirdly enough, I do better with documentaries revolving around these types of subjects than I do film. It's probably something to do with emotional separation which documentaries tend to have versus film which specifically design themselves for emotional response.

Anyway I'm rambling.

I think I have had enough exposure to the Holocaust in narrative media where I would rather stick with watching documentaries about the subject matter I haven't watched before, and just sticking to re-reading Maus and similar accounts in book form. Rather than watch narrative movies about the subject itself.

That being said tho, apparently there's a 4 part miniseries from 1978 called "Holocaust" which, after being released in Germany, was so affecting that during the discussion panel that ran after each episode had German citizens phoning in either enraged saying the show was purely fiction and nothing of the sort happened, or in contrast, SEVERAL German citizens phoning in to confess how in 1938 they participated in Kristallnacht. I might be able to watch that one. And although it is about fictional characters (for the most part) I also need to finish Osamu Tezuka's "Adolf" which I stopped halfway due to how upsetting it was. As well as continue my man Shigeru Mizuki's manga "Showa" which I also stopped reading for a short time to take a break from the events at the start of the series (I haven't even gotten to WWII in that manga series yet. So I don't know if he covers the holocaust specifically as he is writing pure from a Japanese point of view).

Anyway my point is, I am very careful with my exposure just because I have severely upset myself in the past regarding this subject matter. So I'm always trying to find methods to learn more about the subject matter from accurate sources in a way where I won't severely cause lasting emotional damage to myself. But because of that I tend to avoid films and rather seek it out elsewhere.

[speakyskelly-1999]

hey

so i know i've been doing fuck all for a while

i've had a lot of work to do and i've not been the wellest of people

and like i have other anime i need to talk about first but errr

OMG WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST FINISH

i just finished watching I'm in Love with the Villainess and errr i don't know whatt o make of it

it was like fine for the first 7 episodes, hell even good

but then it throw me a massive curve ball, tolerated it. watched the the next couple episodes. and err let me tell you thoes curve balls just kept on coming and just kept on getting worse.

now did i enjoy the final episode. well kinda. ignoing the first errr 6 minuets it was fiiiiiiiiine. but holy shit

and like they're not really curve balls in terms of plot exatly. they impact it of course but like it's more how they chose to drive the plot thats bugging me

some spoilers by the way

claire, who's the love interet looses her maid whos been with her for ages. fine plot point. WHY SHE LEAVES. ERMM!!!! lets just say forbidden love in the forgers christmas ad variety

ha ha ha i'm in so much pain

aaaaaaanywaaaaay

then we get some one who tests rae and claires love (rae loves claire but claire hasn't realised that she loves rae yet basically)

i need ceral break one sec

okay i have food to get me through this trying time.

it's so yummy

so err yea character who turns up to shake up the relationship

me: okay show whos this person

show: claire's first love

me; okay like a kid next door kinda thing

show; her sisterrrrrrrr

me: say sike rn

show: hahaha yea that's not her sister

me: oh thank god, weird that she calls her that but i guess if its a they were really close as kid but driftedf apart or what ever that's tolerable. as long as their not related i can tolerate-

show: sheeeeeee her cuuuuuuuuuuuz

me: kill me now

so like you might be wondering why i stared watchging

i'd like to nkow the answer myself

i think i reached a level of dispar that destoryed me mind body and soul that i had to know if it got worse

it did

cat break

aaah that cat doesn't have a care in the world

no work, no school just moew moew

okay is everyone refreshed

good back tot he shit show

now the show does a bait and switch but not really , i think

the concept of claire's cuz (i cannot fucking spell her name and i don't want to) is that in the game (yes this is a reincarnated into a video games one, i had some idea of the quality i was getting into but geez) she's one of the only ally characters to the protagonist (rae) to hepl her get with one of the love interest that she likes. now in the game you can only pick from one of the three princes but rae is going after the villainess (hence the title) so she doesn't know whoch side she'll be on.

now to save everyone some trouble, claire's cuz was deliberatly playing the "bad guy who gets in the way of their relationship to make it deeper" cos claire still haddn't realised her feelings for rae really (it is a bit odd tho cos claire's cuz also just says she was actuaslly trying to get with rae at one point and i wanna die)

god call me errr junko what ever the fuck her surname is cos that despare vortex has be by the fucking neck

okay back to it. the way. THE WAY in which claire's cousin goes about her fucking plan, her fucking deal is the worse. she flerts with claire infront of rae to deliberatly provoke her into a fight. this dosn't work so she just straight up chalengers rae and almost FUCKING KILLS HER. so i was like "ah shown your true colores now, this was the plan, no one will like you anymore and you'll leave."

no

rae lost the bet so she had to quit being clair's maid beacvuse thoes there the tems and conditions tehy came up with for the fight in essence.

SHE👏🏽 THEN👏🏽 GETS👏🏽 MAD👏🏽 AT👏🏽 RAE 👏🏽FOR👏🏽 QUITTING

tells rae that she dosn't really care for clair cos she gave up. rae states that like by law they can't be together and also claire dosn't like her back. manaria (i fucking learned her name for this, are you happy now. it's claire's cuz i didn't know if that was👍🏽errr) talks about how she had a love who she didn't wanna say anything and then ended up hurting her. sounds like weirdly placed moral support considering you caused this to happen and knew rae couldn't win against you in the fight but okay i guess

no

NO

NO NO NO NO NO

the thing that manaria did (well "did" cos idk if she was just bullshitting to get them to get back together or, as she states later, just wanted to see rae mad cos she thinks that's cute) is not nothing you lie about if she did lie. AND DEFINATLY NOT SOMETHING TO LIKE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND ON HURTING THE PERSON YOU LOVE. because rae just quit her job. manaria did something incredibly horrific. and i'm moving on cos i don't wanna talk about this part anymore

look another emotional support cat

ain't he just a darling

that's a good cat right there

you can tell i'm coping hard

yea so erm fuck

ultimatly love wins. rae and claire end up together, yay/ manaria goes home, thank fuck. and all the side characters are happy (that deserve happiness). cool is that the end of the show now. can i go home. they semi set up a season two

oh

ooooh they semi set up a season two

yea idk man like the first 7 episodes get a 7/10 and idk what the fuck the rest of it gets. it broke my scale

don't wantch it, but like if you want to just watch the first 7 episodes and you have a decent enough ending. don't watch the next time.

[versegm]

Hi ! It’s been a while seeing your fate posts wanting to get into it - but with that last post about fate series levels…! Do you like… recommend getting into it ? And with a particular series ? Or is it the kind of media where you’re like i adore it but i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy

I wholeheartedly recommend the Fate serie. It is, and I mean this completely unironically, one of the best series I have been given to eat in years.

Usually when I make headcanon or meta posts about a given serie, there is a large amount of wishful thinking and self indulgence involved. I don't think Ariosto intended to write Orlando Furioso as a story about Angelica desperately trying to escape the narrative, but it is a lot more entertaining for me to read it this way. I am well aware that digimon is a children's cartoon and a lovecraftian horror story about the inherent corrupting power of light, it's just more suited to my tastes too imagine stories that involve that.

That's not the case with Fate. I am still very often self-indulgent and horny on main, but generally speaking when I say shit like "the protagonist of Fate/Grand Order is a normal person gradually becoming insane the further the plot goes" or "people die when they are killed means that if you refuse to let someone die when their time comes you are denying them the simple right to be a person" that is. Very textually what happens. The Fate serie allows itself to go all out on bonkers and/or horrifying concepts and themes, which is doubly refreshing in a world where media are slowly being made blander by corporations who don't want to alienate their audience and lose money.

That being said, it is a serie that has been going on for a very long time, so the writers like to reference their old works, make use of concepts they've foreshadowed 16 years ago in an obscure visual novel that never got translated, make full aus of their own stories, ect ect. So the joke of this post is that there are some Fate works you can jump in with 0 knowledge of Fate and you'll be mostly fine save for maybe a couple cameos you won't recognize, while some others will be fucking incomprehensible if you haven't eaten the full wikipedia page beforehand.

If you follow Lance's post, you can probably pick any work from level 0 to 5 and try to work you way out from here.

If you want my personal input, my entry point was Fate/Grand Order, and while I could make a whole post on its strenghts and weaknesses if you need one the important part is that it did a well enough job having a compelling story on its own while explaining the worldbuilding basics to me.

Fate/Stay Night (the visual novel) is the first title of the Fate serie, so it's a good entry point as well, but it is fucking long and frankly the first route has aged a bit so that's up to you. If you want something easier to digest to see what's Fate about and if it'll be up your alley, you can always check out the Unlimited Blades Work anime (which is an anime adaptation of one of the routes of the vn) or the Fate/Zero anime (which is a prequel.) I also know a guy who got in through the Fate/Apocrypha anime, so if you like Mordred specifically it might be your thing idk.

Honestly don't sweat it too much, Fate is very much a serie where you will revisit works you've already eaten and go "oh THAT'S who that bitch from episode 5 came from and that's why they made it into a big deal at the time" once you've got a bit more context. It's worth asking your friends if any of them are already into Fate so they might be able to give you insight on how blorbo #34 actually has SUCH a compelling backstory in an earlier work, but if you don't that's fine just go with the flow.

Oh yeah fair warning tho that Fate sometimes features some Anime Bullshit (that's a polite way to say "lolis") so if that's a dealbreaker for you be aware of it.

[emetkoto]

favourite emetkoto *bad* end, go.

YAY FINALLY AN EXCUSE TO EXPLAIN ENDINGS <3 I know you only asked for my favorite but I'm gonna tell you about all 3 bad ends (4 i guess if you count how in the canon ending they do not actually end up together in K'otos current life) :)

SPOILERS FOR SHADOWBRINGERS AND VAGUELY ENDWALKER

I will start with my favorite tho so I can technically answer your question first in case you dont want the rest of the essay! It's obviously gotta be the first bad end I wrote which I'll call 'together forever' bc its easier than 'bad end 1'

This one starts BEFORE the tempest section and the Dying Gasp, K'oto sneaks out of the inn room to try and follow Emet-Selch to the tempest by himself, and the Scions do NOT catch upto him in time so he manages to make it there alone! He had no intention of taking Emet-Selch up on his offer of dying peacefully where nobody could see, he had come all this way to once again try and convince Emet-Selch to hear him out and calm down, just one last ditch effort to make things right again but he's dizzy and can't see right and also in an unfamiliar(ish) place so he just kind of stumbles around until he collapses at which point Emet-Selch shows up to see his condition and try to gloat but when he's like "come to die in peace after all?" K'oto starts grabbing at the bottom of his coats and begging and pleading with him while hes literally DYING OF LIGHT POISONING and Emet-Selch is. shocked to say the least and it kind of undoes all the steleing of his heart he'd been doing by brooding down here alone…K'oto is so desperate to make this work he left his friends behind and came down here knowing full well he could die!!!! But at this point Emet-Selch has decided that things won't ever be able to work out K'otos way, but they haven't tried HIS way yet so when K'oto inevitably passes out from over exerting himself on the begging and whatnot Emet takes him back to the penthouse he'd made for himself and bound the light and stabilized K'oto <3

When he woke up he was just. So exhausted. He was tired of fighting and being the hero and being lied to and manipulated by his friends for the greater good and having people trying to sacrifice themselves for him and being Hydealyn's puppet when she wasn't even willing to save the first and having to pretend he wasn't in love with Emet-Selch…he was tired!!!! And everything hurt bc again he was Literally Dying!!!! So when Emet-Selch came and sat on the edge of the bed and gave him some of that soothing aether and held his hand and returned his memories of their wedding and offered him a way out of it all where they could stay together forever for the low price of shedding his mortal flesh and turning his back on everyone he ever knew and loved and letting the calamities and rejoinings happen. it was a pretty easy sell! He did have one condition which was they did have to try and offer their hand in friendship to the Scions one last time and Emet agreed but that went about as well as you'd imagine, they were were angry and hostile and that kind of like, reinforced everything K'oto was thinking and feeling at the time so any regrets he might've had left were kinda out the window at that point and he said "fuck it" and gave them a piece of his mind! He and Emet then went off to the Empty to find Eden so K'oto could unload the light safely and awaken Eden to take K'otos place as the Lightwarden that would bring the first back to the brink so it could be rejoined before peacing out to the rift to start their retirement <3 We love a good corruption arc!

It's only a ""bad end"" because of like, ig the end of the world and the deaths of the Scions and everyone or whatever but it's fine for them they're having a great time :)

Anyway that one's my favorite but there's two others!

The first being 'lightwarden k'oto' which starts the same as the last one but Emet-Selch resists the urge to go down and see/try to mock K'oto and just watches from his penthouse as he transforms into a Lightwarden…when K'oto doesn't immediately start rampaging he goes down to see what's going on and oop! All of K'otos feelings in that last moment had mixed together and manifested in complete loyalty and obedience to Emet-Selch :,) Emet feels pretty bad when he realizes this, K'oto loved him to the very end and he just kinda. Let this happen and now there's no way back so he just gives him a scratch behind the ears like he used to like and a kiss on the head and orders him to go fuck shit up! Once he's gone Emet leaves the first and never looks back, letting K'oto die painlessly in the rejoining so his soul can return to the aether and be reborn someday </3 shit SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lastly theres just. 'the worst one' which is the normal story upto the Dying Gasp and requires some context and backstory about the canon end: SO basically when K'oto and Ardbert talk post Vauthry before going off to the Tempest K'oto makes it clear he doesn't want to kill Emet-Selch and plans to spare him and Ardbert agrees to his plan (with no real intention of carrying it out properly bc there is WAY too much at stake to let Emet live) and they go off to the Tempest and through Amaurot and all that and during the Dying Gasp right at the end, K'oto is ready to carry out their plan which involves wounding Emet with the light just enough that he's weakened and will listen to reason, one last chance to patch things up…..but Ardbert ofc does HIS plan instead which involves taking full control of K'otos body in the last moments before they're rejoined and he stops existing to put his full force into that axe throw and aim it dead center so that it without a doubt kills (and frees Emet of his tempering but that's an extra side effect neither of them knew would happen)…K'oto isn't aware of what happened until the dust settles and it's very horrible and traumatic for him and he is FURIOUS with Ardbert but he's not there to respond to him or apologize sicne he's, y'know, gone forever :,) leaving K'oto to cope with his grief and trauma horribly all by himself for the rest of shb and all of endwalker!

And now the "bad end" here is that Ardbert DOES let K'oto do his thing or K'oto is so determined he can't take control (either or, as long as Ardbert doesn't stop him) so Emet-Selch is hit but not killed and as he's kneeling there seemingly wounded and ready to surrender K'oto approaches him to try and talk it out but surprise! Emet-Selch was not as badly wounded as planned and he is still very very tempered bc he wasn't struck with enough light and he is MAD and not at all in his right mind, so consumed with rage and grief and desperation he kills K'oto when he gets close enough, possibly while K'oto is trying to embrace him i haven't decided bc i dont think about this one BECAUSE IT HURTS!!!!!! Anyway K'oto dies and Emet retreats immediately and the Scions are left to die in the first in the rejoining </3 he feels like shit about it but he kinda uses those feelings to drive him to keep doing what he's doing with the rejoinings, very "if he was stronger that wouldn't have happened thus humanity is still too weak" and all that

There is a good ending version here where things do go right, Emet is hit just enough to weaken but not kill him and with enough light to undo his tempering to Zodiark and K'oto is able to get through to him and get him to surrender and admit mankind's strength and he stays with him for the rest of msq and his life <3 but this aint about that its about the sad ones

[king-maven-calore]

Hii Ann

I read what you wrote about the end of BB and even tho i can't understand it in a personal level i know how important representation is (specially if having it is not the norm or the "common thing") and not being conscious of that, for an author like VA, is disrespecful to the very least.

However I still don't understand quite well the main reason of the problem: what boder you is that Victoria kill the only gay character? That she used their sexuality as a reason to die, not in a homophobic way but in a "people will miss this one more cause of their sexuality" way.

(Perdón mi ignorancia soy más paki q la Bresh en la actualidad)

(Vos tan Bresh 💑, y yo tan Fiesta Plop✨) The more time passes, the more I can articulate why this wounded me so much beyond "I'm a sensitive gay" lmao so I'll try to be precise.

In a way, the problem with Ridha's death has nothing and everything to do with her sexuality. It has nothing to do with the cause or the circumstances of it. You see, if we reduce her POV to its basics it's about a flat character whose sole purpose in the story was as a tool for plot progression. Her chapters were never about developing her beyond "Elder princess gathering forces to save the realm". We as readers are supposed to care about her death on the basis that she's one of the good guys and the emotional repercussions it will have for Dom, who loves her. Other than that, I don't see why anybody would find her non-existent personality compelling enough or empathize with enough to truly be devastated by her demise. So, even from a writer's standpoint, it's a "safe" death, rather than tragic.

Readers are not going to "miss it" bc of her sexuality, but bc she was barely in the story. They are mostly going to be relieved their faves were spared. This is fine of course. I'm not pointing fingers. I don't even care if someone says they are glad it was her who died.

The problem is that she was the one character where an element of queer identity made a significant appearance, in a way that was used to build a relationship with another (Lenna, the raider chief), and thus, excitement. And it was used carelessly. In an ideal world, Ridha dying after displaying this deviation from the norm wouldn't mean much. But this is not an ideal world, and it is problematic within the context of the story because while there are other bi characters (Erida, Sorasa, Sigil) and a gay character (Charlon) none of them display their attraction in ways that matter. Both Erida and Sorasa are in M/F romantic storylines, Sigil is casually mentioned having a threesome with another woman, Charlie is in a ~complicated~ relationship (or past relationship) with some guy, and it's not depicted.

Do you see the pattern I'm drawing? It's all so very diverse, but not really. Because the queer storylines are sidelined even though the plotty plot still leaves room for three M/F romances. And I would have been okay with a half-baked F/F romance too, cause my bar is super low lmao, but it was quickly aborted by death.

And here's when the context created by other media comes into play: the percentage of lgbtq+ characters dying is so high in contrast with other characters that you come to expect it. It's a joke in the community, how a character coming out or a same-sex love interest being introduced into a story must mean they are going to die soon.

How would you feel if 9 out of 10 of all the romcoms you love changed the ending so one half of the pair died? you soon would tire of it. You'd grow sick of seeing it. It's all in the numbers.

Back when I read RQ and Evangeline was revealed to be a lesbian, I was sure she would be dead by the end. It was a given. I was resigned to it like I always am. But then she survives! and not only that but other gay couples were shown and mentioned. When Maven dies it's the tragic natural conclusion of a complex negative arc for a very well-developed bisexual boy. His sexuality matters even when it's not central to the story.

When Ridha dies, the only RB POV whose queerness had any relevance at all in making a weak character somewhat more human, it leaves the number of gay couples at zero (there is the insinuation of an M/NB couple between two tertiary characters, I'll give you that). So, VA just killed 100% of a demographic. And it was my demographic🙃, so that made the death personal even though it wasn't. It made it painful, even though she was a disposable character from the get-go. That, my friend, is the problem. This whole mess fits neatly into a broader problem of straight writers carelessly disposing of queer characters way more quickly than they would of "regular" ones.

As a straight girl, you're not obligated to care about this or feel angry, but please understand where the pain comes from for those of us who get this ending 99% of the time in media.

[asoulofatlantis]

So here we have it. Finally! The Skywheel Date! And Aerith is the one holding her hand out to help Cloud in XD

She wanted him to sit next to her... but he didn't. You know... he is complicated and things are complicated as well.

Here we have the infamous scene from the Trailer. As I always knew, she actually fell and that is why she was in his arms, as he catched her and of course...

...they did not kiss ^^'

The embarrassment was adorable tho XD

Its very important that they finally talked about this. The fandom has been going on and on and on about this and so it was necessary for Aerith to admit that yes, at the beginning it truly was like that, but that now, things have changed and she actually wants to be with the real Cloud and she is trying really hard to find him.

It was also important that it was mentioned that at this point, both Aerith and Cloud are aware that Cloud has been Friends with Zack but that Aerith doesn't see it as something important. That sounds mean towards Zack but remember, in this timeline, he has been gone for 5 years. Aeris has the right, to finally move on and that also means, she doesn't have to hold back, just because Zack and Cloud have been friends once. She did not knew that when she fell for Cloud anyway...

I loved how she decided that instead of talking, bodycontact would be the better way to do this. Talking was confusing him, but she not once has not been allowed to touch him so far, so... that always worked and she knew it would again.

Isn't that kind of cute? ♥

Doing this has a huge meaning in Japanese media. Just saying... (And it won't be the last time you see them doing this.)

This was so worth all the trouble.

And now its his turn to give her his hand. She saved him, he saved her... round and round it goes ♥

We talk about this date in more detail in a minute, let me just get to a point were I can save first.

OKAY. I saved and ended the game for today. So... lets say a few word about the date shall we? And I think we should do the date as a whole too, not just the Skywheel-Part.

I did not like it so much to be honest, that Aerith vanished from the Loveless viewing. I get why and I assume she didn't know she would be gone for longer than a few minutes, but I still think it was not nice to drag Cloud there and then just "vanish" until she showed up as Rosa in the play. I also don't get why Cloud didn't go searching for her. Yes, she might just have been in the bathroom, but especially with Aerith and given how he usually is so overprotective of her, it seemed weird that he just shrugged it off and put his VR-Thingy back on as if it was nothing.

Aerith did show up as Rosa tho... and I honestly think - all shipping discourse aside - that she was meant to be for the role? I mean, she is a Cetra, which makes her something along the lines of a princess or goddess or so. At least she is more "special" than Tifa and Yuffi when it comes to her heritage. ALSO she is the only one who actually wields a staff in her actual life. Also "a chance meeting always ends in tragedy" is kind of... what happened to them, didn't it? Aerith actually even mentions it in her song by singing: "Could it be chance?" after saying she won't say it was fate or destiny. And it does end in a tragedy indeed. Tifa is fine and will stay fine all the way through the end. Same goes for Yuffi. This also could bring us back to "losing what you cherish most" part, which only fits Aerith. (Granted tho, you can cherish people in multiple ways...) In that sense, depending on who your date was, this character should be your most cherished person and should tragically die, just saying... *achem* In any case I also think it fits with the clock falling possibly representing them running out of time, but also the final, were he does not ask to promise she wait for him, because he knows she will. No need for either Tifa nor Yuffi to wait for him - at best to wait for him to get better, but even then it wouldn't fit Tifa, as she is the one fixing him, so no need to wait. Which explains why Aerith is the default Rosa. It just fits her story and character best.

All in all tho, Cloud would have never played that role this accurately XD This was just a virtual reality experience and I guess that is the reason why they did it that way. Its like "A wizard did it". There is no explanation needed for, how the characters know the text or what their role is about to do or the steps in fighting scenes and all that stuff. Tho it felt weird when at the end they were all on the stage like they actually proudly played that role themselves XD But once again, let's just not question it. I guess it was just there for the entertainment of the player.

Now to the songs. Here it doesn't matter who plays Rosa. Aerith is the one singing the song ALWAYS. Tho Clouds reaction slightly differed depending on who your date was. For example, when you Date Tifa, she is holding your hand the whole time while Aeriths sings a lovesong for Cloud... which is weird and tactless. BUT sitting on that Watertower with Cloud was also a bit tactless of Aerith, so I guess we led that slide. With Barett by the way, he is swaying with Cloud, which is really funny and adorable at the same time. Clouds reaction when Aerith is his date and he solely focuses on her, is the best tho and actually the most fitting - but I guess that after giving Aerith and Cloud a canon lovesong, which Aerith herself sings, they at least had to do something to give the other dates some spotlight while the song was playing. Either way, afterward Cloud gives Aerith the moment of recognition she deserves. We could talk more about all the possible reasons for her tears and sadness at the end of the song. But we know what is coming, so lets leave it at that.

I have to say tho, if you don't think about the Lyrics too hard, you could fit that song to Aerith and Zack as well. So if it wouldn't have been for the canon interview, people who prefer Aerith with Zack, could be fine with that song as well - especially if Tifa is holding hands with Cloud while Aeriths sings.

Anyway... back to the actual date and now we are getting to the Skywheel. Lets talk about why Cloud is... so... Cloud in this scene and gives us a hard time and why we do not get any kind of kiss. While Tifa gets an actual kiss and Yuffi kisses Cloud on the cheek.

So... for starters:

Aerith and Cloud do know each other for about 2 weeks or so at this point. While Tifa and Cloud know each other since childhood. And while I have no idea what business Yuffi had, kissing Cloud on the cheek, I am pretty sure it is just something that fits her quirky character, because she isn't much of an (over)thinker, if you get me. She feels like it? She does it! XD PLUS if the Soldier she has been in love with was actually Zack (I have not seen the other two dates yet, I just know some stuff... - I will watch them eventually and react to them, but I need to be in the mood for that ^^') then Cloud is the closest she can get to Zack at the moment if you get me.

The next thing is the way Cloud acts around the girls and the way their chemistry works is absolutely freaking different from each other. Its really hard to put into words, but watch Cloud interact with the girls, especially when they are out on missions and only one of the girl is active with him and you can see and feel the difference. If I had to put it into words I'd say Cloud and Tifa are more... intimate in the way they interact or touch each other, but they also have things between them that sometimes gets in the way. Cloud also lacks the attention he gives to Aeriths feelings, when it comes to Tifa. Witj Aerith he pays much more attention to her emotions and her emotional state and he is very protective of her, while he trusts Tifa (and likely also Yuffi) that they can protect themselves (as scene with the scene with the Tornados...) but their touches and the way their interact with each other are not intimate, its more on a cuter level, a more careful level. They don't mind the body contact, but its more the handholding-innocent- kind of body contact. With Yuffi... Cloud has close to no contact, if we are honest. Body and soul and even talking. No idea what SE thought giving her a date with a freaking cheek kiss. If anything, I think she annoys Cloud ^^'

And something that plays a major role in the relationship between Cloud and Aerith is the Zack - Issue. Even more so now that Clouds remembers him and the fact that they were friends and that Zack even gushed over Aerith right in front of him - obviously before Cloud knew her tho. That ought to create a rift between Cloud and Aerith, especially after she admitted that she maybe still has feelings for Zack. How close do you want to get to a woman who still has feelings for a man that was head over heals for her? Also... should you put yourself next to her, given how he was just friend who loved her dearly and deeply? And also Aerith. She was drawn to the Zack in Cloud, she admits as much in the date - and once again, it was good and important that she did - and while I think she is the one getting the real Cloud out of his Zack-Shell the most, she still has to be aware of the fact that she probably does not fully know the true and real Cloud yet, even tho she wants to. This is a quite messy situation. Complicated too.

So... there is lots of room for being careful and distant here and not much room for intimacy and closeness.

Cloud and Aerith, as much as it saddens me, were NOT ready for a kiss yet. Getting that moment of closeness via the hand holding and cuddling was plenty for a relationship that is more of an innocent nature and has yet many obstacles to overcome - sadly, we are running out of time for this.

And that is also an important point. Something we have to point out here. When Aerith told Cloud in the first game not to fall in love with her, she contradicted her own words by the fact that she wasn't able to stop herself from touching him. The reason for this warning wasn't just the Zack issue es her following words that those feelings are not real would suggest. Its also something to guard herself and him. She knows she is going to die and that it will hurt them both that they never had the time to truly explore what could have been if they did have more time. PLUS this Aerith knew Clouds struggled after her death. And I am not just talking about the mental breakdown Tifa got him out of. I am also talking about the state he was in in Advent Children. Melancholic, depressed and full of guilt and regret and a feeling of loneliness always within his heart. You don't know that yet, but in a later scene, Aerith specifically tells Cloud not to blame himself for whatever will happen and everyone who has scene their scene from AC knows exactly why. Aerith tried to prevent Clouds from suffering, making it so that technically she has to keep her distance. I guess that is also one of the reason why she is not opposing Cloud and Tifa. And all that plays a role in that date. She wants to be with Cloud. Aeriths has feelings for him. But she runs out of time and there is so much going on beneath all of that. And than we have Cloud, not knowing where to put that "on off" behavior of her. How to deal with Zack standing between them. Not knowing what to think of her warning from the first game. And probably not knowing what he truly wants himself either, because he said it himself in that scene with Tifa earlier in the game, sometimes he doesn't even know who he is anymore.

Once again, it is complicated and I think that is also what caused him to act cold at first. However, I do think, all things considered, that we got the best scene possible for this ship and we should be happy about it.

And we are not completely done yet. You will get another "Date" with Aerith later that is non-optional. So... enjoy it for it doesn't last much longer my dears.

[tharizdun-03]

Tokyo Ghoul Review

I am moving some of my Twitter threads over to Tumblr as well. This is one of them.

Tokyo Ghoul was great! Overall, a very well constructed, tightly written story that explores its premise with plenty of ingenuity and power, largely thanks to Kaneki, all culminating in an amazing final arc. Mostly really strong art too. Very excited for :re.

Favorite Characters: 

1. Kaneki 

2. Amon 

3. Yoshimura

4. Arima 

5. Touka 

6. Tsukiyama 

7. Suzuya

Favorite Arcs: 

 1. Final Arc: 9/10 

2. Aogiri Tree Arc: 8/10 

3. Decision Arc: 8/10 

4. Lab Raid Arc: 8/10 

5. Gourmet Arc: 8/10 

6. Doves’ Emergence Arc: 7.5/10 

7. Post-Aogiri Tree/Timeskip Arc: 7/10 

8. Nishiki Arc: 7/10 

9. Introduction Arc: 7/10

Ken Kaneki

Kaneki is undoubtedly the best character in the story, and it’s horrifying watching this sweet, kind person gets broken down by the cruelty of the world, to the point of madness.

Kaneki’s arc is mostly a realization of abandoning coping mechanisms and adapting the survival of the fittest mentality. There are a couple of interesting things to dig into here.

The coping mechanisms start in early childhood, with his mother working herself to death in order to financially support both her, Kaneki, and her sister. And Kaneki keeps building up this denying image of her that he’s had since childhood, that she was strong, and noble for it, which gets broken down during the Aogiri arc.

He lashes out and admits he doesn’t truly admire his Mom for it but confesses that he wishes she just chose him instead, this being reinforced by Kaneki not being able to save Shu and Haru because he stood by his mother’s ideology.

So, he abandons it, and takes on the survival of the fittest ideology instead, pushing people away, to focus on getting stronger in order to protect them.

Of course, it doesn’t go too well, his mental state keeps deteriorating cause of the trauma. And we keep peeling off layers, and just like his mother, the true reason he’s doing this isn’t to protect the people he cares about but because he’s scared of being alone. 

HHust like his mother was afraid of losing her sister and becoming alone. She wasn’t kind, she was a coward, afraid of solitude. Just like Kaneki, who isn’t truly doing this to protect his friends, but more so because he's scared of loss.

I get that, but to be honest, I didn’t feel like this was communicated enough throughout the story? The whole keeping people at a distance because he’s scared of getting hurt and more protecting his friends for his own sake rather than theirs. I’m thinking of something similar, Evangelion, where that’s a core theme very integral to Shinji, for example, and immediately easy to pick up on. But this, when they revealed it, I had to think back and wonder, ”how often did he really act like that? Not a strong vibe I got from his behavior.” Maybe these are things that will be reinforced later, or I just missed cues, but I get the overall gist of it and am cool with it. But I dunno, I guess it just kinda feels like the story treats it as bigger than it actually communicated it being, at least for me. I think I'll be fine with it later. The issue with the story and Kaneki feeling aimless fixed itself later on tho, so no longer a problem at least.  Either way, Kaneki's arc is mostly as good as it is because Ishida executes what does work, so incredibly well, a large part being how he draws the consequential mental breakdowns, etc. Might not be a super unique character arc, but one of the better-executed ones of its kind.

Koutarou Amon

Amon, I think, is fairly straightforward, we got the whole was raised by a ghoul, and because of that, was open-minded enough, even if subconsciously, for Kaneki to make him realize something, and a big part of his motivation after that point isn’t just to eradicate the ghouls, but to try and understand the one ghoul he knows is different. He doesn’t want Kaneki to die, not just out of some innate curiosity, but because it’d also answer why he’s alive at all, why he was spared. Amon is also instrumental in Kaneki's development, who questions him if he really wants to be like other ghouls, which is a key moment in grounding Kaneki again, appealing to his humanity. It's really neat how they both affect each other in that symbiotic kind of way almost. Amon is a character that has so much potential yet to be realized, so I don't think he’s actually dead. I hope we get to see him in :re, maybe in more direct contact with the ghouls. Would be a cool opportunity for him and Kaneki to each explore the opposite side of the conflict.

Yoshimura

Yoshimura's really just this high up because of his incredible backstory. I think the whole, fell in love with a human girl who was so in love she'd be willing to cannibalize (need that) for their baby to be born, but then having to not only kill her, but also abandon their child for her sake, and finding out years later that because of it, the child has grown up to hate this world, and when fatally wounded, to once again, protect her, he takes over the identity of the fabled Owl, that's so touching.

Going to such lengths just to protect his daughter, dreaming of one day sharing a cup of coffee with her, and it being denied. I think that’s all fantastic. Not just on its own, but how that enhances everything else, and I am very interested in where :re will take that.

Kishou Arima

Arima struck a chord with me. When the CCG had to write a will before their mission, and we learned that no matter how hard Arima thinks about what to write, he can’t ever come up with anything, so it always ends up blank, that's deeply sad to me.

He strikes me as a person that devotes so much to his job that he has no attachments outside that, a job which he probably thinks of very mechanically and might not be too invested in itself either, he just has nothing else.

His battle with Kaneki was very somber, with a certain sense of inevitability permeating throughout. I think Arima feels for Kaneki, and I think it was his decision to save him and take him into the CCG. Would love to see more of him.

Touka Kirishima

Touka is a character I just find really endearing. Her sad backstory with her bother, a sadly all too common one in this world, forces them to approach the problem in different ways, which is an interesting dynamic that I hope keeps being developed.

The chapter when she called Kaneki out on his little pretend tragic hero schtick is great stuff from her, and how she tries to balance her normal human life, muah. She was sadly absent for most of the latter half of the story tho but hoping :re makes up for that.

Shuu Tsukiyama

Tsukiyama is a character archetype that just kind of appeals to me a lot, you know, the Hisoka type, and I overall liked what he contributed. I do think after the gourmet arc that he didn't really do a lot, but him crying at the end when Kaneki leaves did give me the impression that it’s not just tears over his prey walking away, but he’s grown to genuinely care for him, having stuck by him for so long with no real short term rewards. But, I'd need more, but what we got was cool.

Juuzou Suzuya

Suzuya can't help but give a very immediate strong impression, and while I liked him, his backstory is what finally got me really intrigued. It makes sense that after all that torture and abuse, eventually, he got desensitized to it, and to cope with it, learned to get used to it, to enjoy it. But in the end, we see that he seems to have genuinely grown to like and care for Shinohara, as he mourns, a first for him.

Conclusion

I don't really feel like going through all the arcs, and honestly, a lot of the story is fairly straightforward or things I need :re to expand upon, so there's not much I'd have to say.

So, just some concluding thoughts. I do think the final arc is far and above the best one, and ending it all in, tragedy, basically, is a bold and powerful note to finish with, and I’m guessing :re will give us a more uplifting message after much struggle. 

I’ve been told, and noticed it myself, that OG Tokyo Ghoul does seem to very much be set-up. It’s great, effective, fun set-up, but set-up nonetheless. There’s a lot of potential and payoff to be realized, and I do want and expect :re to get into the more complex thematics, deeper character development, and unorthodox storytelling. This very much just feels like Part 1 of a larger story. I'm ready for Part 2.

Score:

Original Twitter Thread: 

https://twitter.com/Tharizdun03/status/1511025105564057607

[genshin-obsessed]

Your blog is everything I wanted and more. Im a lurker for your writings ahaha if you can guess who i am 👀

How about the guys reacting to s/o's death. Can be a group writing but if its too much, just Diluc, Childe, Razor and Kaeya would be nice. I think they would have interesting reactions >:3

First of all, Anon. I LOVE YOU. I wanted to write this out but thought it might be a bit too much but then you went and requested it!! I guess I have no choice but to write this out! >:) (That’s also why I did all the characters) second. Guess who you are o: may I get a hint? I have 2 people in my mind tho o: Warnings: Death, mentions of blood, angst. Pure angst.

Sidenote: The woman in this is my OC named Toxin! Whenever I need a really big, bad villain, she’s my go-to! That’s all!

Includes: Aether, Kaeya, Venti, Diluc, Razor, Xiao, Xingqiu, and Childe!

Scaramouche & Zhongli Here | Part 2 Here

You Die!

You ran as fast as your feet would carry you, desperate for an escape. A scream erupted from your lips as the ground shook beneath you, causing you to stumble and fall over. You had received an emergency request to help fight… someone. The request wasn’t very detailed but someone needed help and you couldn’t turn your back on them. So, you went ahead and tried to help.

You should’ve been careful. You should’ve brought help. But you didn’t and you were paying for your stupidity. The person that you were fighting was strong. She was tall, pale, and had long black hair. Her unearthly glowing green eyes were terrifying. She was fast and all of your attacks were unable to touch her.

As you ran, only one thought crossed your mind. The smiling image of your boyfriend. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you tried to run. How you wished you could be in his arms, feeling safe and sound.

As you ran out of the forest and down the field, the woman appeared in front of you, catching you in her arms and stabbing you with a poison dagger. You shrieked as your hands curled around her clothes. The sharp pain turned into a burning sensation and you looked up at her. Her face was inches away and she smirked, her eyes glowing bright by the second.

“Finally. But you’re not the only one I wanted to break.” What? What did she mean? Her head turned to the left and you followed her gaze and the second you saw what she was looking at, your heart shattered.

The woman pulled the dagger out and it seemed to vanish as she smirked at your boyfriend. The tears slid down your cheeks as you weakly reached out to him for help.

“(F/N)!” His heart stopped as he watched the woman disappear and you fall to the floor. He sprinted to you, picking you up in his arms as blood poured out of the wound. “H-hey! Hey, keep your eyes open! J-Just stay awake!” He held your head against his chest, trying to calm himself, but how could he? You were bleeding out in front of him. 

He looked down and ran his fingers along your cheek as your skin started to turn purple. The poison had taken its effect and it was moving fast. You were leaving, you would leave him just like Lumine left him. He was gonna be alone all over again.

“A-Aether… I-I l-love you.”

“I love you too! You’ll be fine, everything’s g-gonna be ok.” Who was he kidding? You weren’t going to make it. But he couldn’t admit it. Aether still had yet to find Lumine and he’d never gotten over losing her. You, you were his light. You were his guiding start. You were his moon, his everything. 

To think that he could lose you? No, no! He didn’t want it. He didn’t want a world without you. A world without you was pure torture. So why? Why was the universe so hellbent on taking things away from him? Why did it demand everything precious to him?!

Why you? 

A pained cry left his lips as your hand fell to your side and that light disappeared from your eyes. “N-no. No, no, no, no! W-wake up! Please wake up! Do-don’t leave me! Don’t you leave me too! Not like this! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!” He held your lifeless body against him, his head pressed against your chest. He couldn’t hear it… he couldn’t hear your heartbeat.

“No… NO!” He ran as fast as his feet could carry him and caught you before you hit the ground. The woman had disappeared but he didn’t care. You were… you were dying! How could he stop it? He wanted to stop the bleeding, he wanted to stop the way your color was changing, he wanted to stop time!

“K-Kaeya… h-how-”

“I was told to come here. A messenger came to me and said you called me and told me to come here.” He explained, taking your cold hand into his, pressing a kiss against it.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“No. Don’t apologize and don’t close your eyes. Please, just stay up a little longer.” He wanted to pick you up and run to the nearest doctor, but he knew… it wasn’t worth it. He wouldn’t make it. He’d never felt so worthless and weak. He swore to protect you and keep you safe and now that you needed him… he was useless.

“T-tired…” Slowly, your eyes closed and your hand fell limp in his. Kaeya’s eyes widened as the tears slid down his cheek.

“(f-f/n)? B-baby! No, wait! Don’t do this! Pl-please no!” He took your hand and pressed it against his cheek, but the second he loosened his grip, it fell. Kaeya shook his head, tears flooding down his cheek as a scream erupted from his mouth. “(F/N)!!!”

Slow. He was too slow. Why couldn’t he be fast enough?! That woman, he knew her. He knew her and he vowed to hunt her down and tear her to shreds. But right now…

Venti picked you up with trembling hands, letting his now bloodied hands touch your cheek. He couldn’t even talk, his voice quivered as he looked down into your eyes. No. This wasn’t happening. You weren’t going to leave him like this.

“H-hey, love. E-everything’s going to be just fine. You’re fine.” He tried to keep his smile up but it was so damn hard when he knew the truth. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t even lie to himself. You were slipping away and all he could do was watch. He knew he was the weakest of all archons but why? Why couldn’t he be a little bit stronger to save you.

“I-I wa-wanna sl-sleep-”

“NO!” He frowned and pressed a kiss to your lips. “No, don’t sleep. Not yet. Just stay awake a little longer and then we can both sleep together tonight.” You weakly nodded, but you couldn’t stay awake any longer. You felt like you were moving, but your body was slowly going numb, until everything disappeared. “(f/n)? (f-f/n)? H-hey! Hey this isn’t a joke! WAKE UP! WAKE UP, PLEASE, PLEASE WAKE UP!”

The second he saw the woman step away from you, a fiery phoenix flew towards her, but she’d disappeared before it could hit her. Diluc ran to you as he watched your body fall to the ground.

He fell to his knees and quickly picked you up, shaking you a little. There was something that snapped inside. He’d always kept his composure, but after seeing what had happened, his emotions burst out of him. He wasn’t in control of anything. He couldn’t control his thoughts, emotions… or your death.

“It’ll be fine! Everything’s fine!” He said, pressing his hand to the wound. You winced at the pain as your skin started to turn purple and blood spilled out of your mouth.

“I-I’m so-sorry.” He shook his head, taking your face in his hands.

“No. I’m sorry. I sh-should’ve gotten here faster.” He was still trying to convince himself you were going to be fine, but deep down, he knew the truth. He knew the ugly truth that was coming up.

“D-Diluc… y-you’re pretty.” His eyes clenched shut at your words as a tear slid down his cheek.

“Don’t leave. Th-there are so many things I-I want to do with you. Pl-please don’t leave me. Wh-what d-do I do?” You smiled weakly at him.

“Y-you b-be the Darknight H-hero…” He scoffed and looked down at you.

“Without you… I’m nothing.” You wanted to say more, you wanted to deny his words, but you were so tired. Slowly, the world faded away and you could no longer hear his cries. “No! NO! NO!! DON’T DO THIS TO ME! STOP! COME BACK! PLEASE BRING MY (F/N) BACK!”

The wolf within had appeared but he wasn’t able to catch up before the woman disappeared. He ran to you and picked you up, seeing the blood gushing out of the wound.

“N-no! (f/n)!” Tears flooded his eyes as he watched your color turn purple. That woman, she reeked of poison so she must’ve poisoned you.

“Shhh…” You muttered, holding your hand to his cheek. “D-don’t c-cry.” He didn’t know what to do. He felt so lost and helpless, but the worst part… he knew what was coming. He shook his head vehemently and tried to pick you up, but you let out a cry of pain, making him lower you back down.

“I c-can save you!”

“I-it’s ok… it’s ok, Razor. I… I’ll be ok.” He hated those words. He hated everything you were saying so much. Razor adored you, he missed you every second he couldn't be with you and normally, he’d never hate your words. But today… right now, he hated how right you were. He shook his head as the tears slid down his cheeks as he felt you slip away.

“Do-don’t do this t-to me. Not you too… they left me. Why do you want to leave me too?” You weakly tugged him down and made him kiss you, but half way through the kiss, he felt your head fall back and he knew. You were gone.

He knew that woman that had done this to you. He knew her and he was going to make sure she paid. But right now… right now you were more important. Xiao took you in his arms as tears started to fill his eyes. He’d never felt like this before and he hated feeling like this.

You made him feel so powerful, so invincible, so untouchable. But right now, he felt so vulnerable and broken. If he had been faster, if he had just gotten here faster he could’ve saved you. He could’ve been hugging you, seeing your skin bright with life, seeing your glimmering eyes, seeing that dazzling smile. But no, he was a failure.

A sob escaped his lips as he watched you starting to slip away. He pulled you close, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“D-don’t do this. Pl-please don’t leave me. Y-you pro-promised you w-wouldn’t do this to me!” He looked down at you but you still had that angelic smile on your face. Why? Why would you do this?! You touched his cheek and spoke; your voice was a quiet whisper, but he heard it.

“I-I love y-you, Xiao…” He shook his head and glared at the sky before shutting his eyes. He didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want to see this happening to you.

“I love you too. S-so much.” He felt your body go limp and another sob escaped his lips. “Y-you pr-promised you’d c-come back to me.” He raised your face closer to him and pressed a kiss against your lips. “P-please come back to me. I-I can’t live without you… I do-don’t want to.”

He sprinted down the hill towards where you lay, gathering you in his arms when he was at the bottom. He didn’t know what to do, there was so much blood, so much poison, and no hope. He fell beside you and pressed his hands onto the wound as blood gushed out.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, it’s ok, it’s ok, everything’s just fine!” You winced in pain in your torso, but it didn’t last very long. It only took a minute before you lost feeling in your legs and arms.

“Xingqiu… i-it hurts.”

“I know, I know and I’m so sorry! If I was faster, I could’ve helped you. It’ll be ok, I promise, my love. I won’t stop until you’re taken care of.” Why didn’t he believe his own words? Maybe it was the fading light in your eyes, maybe it was the color draining from your face, maybe it was the sheer amount of blood that poured from the wound… but Xingqiu didn’t have a single ounce of hope. Why? Why was the world doing this to him? Why was it punishing you like this? Did he do something? Did he commit a sin that was so unforgivable that the universe or the gods would punish someone as sweet and amazing as you?

He wanted to cry, but he bit his lip to hold the tears back. His eyes were glossy and his vision was blurry, but he refused to cry. He wasn’t going to show you the fleeting hope in him. He wasn’t going to show you that he was  a liar.

“Xingqiu… w-will y-you g-give me one l-last kiss?” His head snapped to you and he shook his head.

“It won’t be our last kiss! We’ll have more chances. We’ll have so many more chances.” He did kiss you however. It was short and sweet, as he returned to applying pressure onto the wound. His eyes flickered to you for a second before his entire body tensed. You were staring at the sky… with dull, lifeless eyes. “(f-f/n)? H-hey… hey wake up.” He gently shook your shoulders. “Hey, stop. Th-this isn’t funny! I know you like playing tricks on me but this isn’t funny! St-stop!!” Finally, he broke. He laid his head on your chest as his tears started to flow. 

“NO!” Oh, he knew that woman well. He’d worked with her once. She was, indeed, powerful. She was a killing machine and there was a time where he was impressed by her. But right now he felt nothing but pure hatred for her. But that had to wait, because you… you were dying.

Childe pulled you into his arms, holding you against his chest and kissing your head. He was trembling and his emotions were a mess. Tears trailed down his cheeks as he looked down at you. The wound oozed with red and purple, so he knew you’d been poisoned.

“H-hey, darling. You ok? Everything’s just gonna be ok, you hear me?” You gave him a weak nod as you looked down at the wound. However, he took your face and made you look up at him. “No, no. Just look at me. Nothing but me.”

“I-I won’t… I’m tired.”

“HEY! Don’t you dare close those beautiful eyes on me! Everything’s going to be fine! Everything… everything is fine. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare even think about leaving me. Don’t you… don’t do it. Please, god I’m begging you (f/n)! Don’t leave me all alone in this world!”

“I-I ca-can’t stay…”

“Yes, y-yes you can! You can’t leave me, please d-don’t.. I-I don’t know what to do! What am I supposed to do?! Just go on, pretending everything’s ok?! JUST PRETEND LIKE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE DIDN’T LEAVE ME?!”

“Shh… d-don’t get so angry.”

“I-” He sighed, taking in a shaky breath, “I love you so much i-it’s hard to breathe without you. Do-don’t take away m-my reason for li-living.” You didn’t answer. You only weakly smiled before your eyes closed and your head fell back. Childe’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “N-no. No- HEY! No, no, no! Please no!” He held you against his chest as he let out a scream. What else could he do besides cry.

Your boyfriend stood up, holding you tightly in his arms. There was only one thought in his mind as he glared in the direction the woman had gone. 

There was nothing left for him. So he wouldn’t stop; he would relentlessly hunt that woman down and tear her apart completely. That way, she could feel an ounce of his pain.

[frozenrose105]

saw you were asking for iswm requests

maybe after saving the ship for the 7th time in a row, the captain breaks down crying, and mark confusedly tries to comfort them?

idk if you like angst or not tho lol ^^'

Darling, I thrive on it

======================

The captain liked to think that they were made for this job. They were confident in their ability to lead the crew, and the crew all seemed to think highly of them. It was as though fate had put them on the Invincible II with Mark, and they were prepared to see the colonists and their crew to a safe, habitable planet.

What they weren’t prepared for was dying. They knew that it was a possibility, of course. They were captaining a ship through space, in search of a planet that may not even exist. No, the possibility of death was something they’d all come to terms with, countered by the hope of finding a new planet. Dying again and again, however, was never a possibility they’d considered.

The first time had felt like a dream. They’d woken to find their ship in catastrophic condition, and they had seen Mark fly through the window before it sealed. They had seen Mark die, but they’d forced themselves not to dwell on it. They needed to focus on saving the rest of the people on the ship. They needed to put out the fire and fix life support, so they forced themselves to move.

Their efforts proved futile in the end, and for a moment they were glad when they woke back up in their cryo-pod on the ship. They were glad because they could equate it to a dream. Because for that moment their ship was fine, and no lives had been lost.

Needless to say, they received their reality check soon enough. Absolutely catastrophic were the words that stuck in their mind. It was the most absolute, solid thing about their ship- that its condition would never fail to be absolutely catastrophic upon their waking, and no matter what they did, no matter how many different paths they tried, no decision was correct. They couldn’t save everyone.

“...I can’t save everyone.” They had just fixed the ship for the seventh time, and the thought hit them like a freight train. “Why am I even trying?” They allowed themselves to slump against the warp core hallway and sink to the floor, holding their head in their hands. Did it even matter? If they sat there and did nothing, would they rot away and die, only to wake back up in that god awful pod?

“Woah, woah,” Mark said from beside them, his brows knitted with his confusion. “You did it, Captain. Everyone is alive.”

“But for how long? It’s like we’re stuck in some- endless loop, and no matter how many times I save you, or we fix everything, it’s not enough. We’re just gonna wake back up and have to do it all again. And it’s never enough, Mark. I don’t-” The captain’s voice broke on the words, and try as they might they couldn’t keep the tears that had been welling in their eyes from spilling over. “I don’t know how to save you.”

Mark was still visibly confused by their words; perhaps because he was still trying to piece things together in his own mind, or perhaps because they were truly going insane, and he remembered none of their previous attempts to save the ship. They had to hand it to him though, because despite his confusion he handled a crazy captain better than they ever could. He knelt down beside them, pulling them into a hug.

“Hey, we’ll figure it out. We always do, Captain. She isn’t called the Invincible for nothing; there isn’t anything that’s going to stop us from reaching our goals.”

Maybe it was the confidence in Mark’s words, or maybe it was just that the captain really wanted to think they were true, but the sentence elicited a laugh from the captain, and they found themselves returning the hug.

“...Yeah, maybe. I guess doing nothing isn’t going to help.” They pulled away from Mark then, swiping at the tears on their cheeks before standing, followed shortly by Mark. The hope that they’d clung to before filled them anew. “Let’s see what we can do.”