#'what do you MEAN threatening a real person is unacceptable but this story with a rape scene isn't'

[aleksanderscult]

Why do you hate Mal?

(TW!: verbal abuse! slut shaming! alcoholism!)

Well, long story short, he's a huge dick.

I could write three long metas about his toxicity and why I dislike him but I don't want to tire my fingers for him. 😑

Maybe because of his slut-shaming behaviour?

Oh and what is this? Ah yes, Mal being angry that Alina found happiness away from him:

I'm so sorry Mal that Alina wasn't tortured so you could feel okay. I'm so sorry that she didn't feel insecure enough to run back in your arms, needing you and depending on you like you always wanted for her.

You know, that's the thing with Mal. He did nothing to Alina.

Not when his "friend" was mocking her appearance (and yes this is serious for me because I too have a very thin body and people from my own family have mocked me for it. So it's no joke).

Not when she was apparently sad that he fucked around girls knowing that she knew.

He did literally nothing until Alina wanted to fuck the Darkling and showed interest for him.

(slut shaming her even here)

From then on he ✨magically✨ noticed her out of nowhere and he said that "now I see you".

BULLSHIT!!

According to Mal, it's okay if he fucks girls every other night but it's not okay when Alina wants to do it with a man that....I don't know. Supported her power and abilities maybe?

And he seems constantly so concerned that she has fucked him that he apparently doesn't care if she's truly okay.

What a normal person would say to Alina: "Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I'm sorry you had to go through this."

What Mal said to Alina: "FUCK TORTURE! DID HE FUCK YOU BY ANY CHANCE?!?!"

He's so unserious FR

That's his only concern. If Alina likes or fucked the Darkling (sometimes I wish she had done the latter just so I could see Mal's face after it).

Also! He's an extraordinary bad influence for Alina and her confidence! 😍

A few minutes ago, Alina decided to return to the Little Palace to lead. To do the right thing and stand in this war.

And now we have Mal threaten her: "If you go, I might not follow!!"

And that shattered Alina's confidence. Now she feels ashamed ("maybe he doesn't want me", "maybe he'll leave me") and after that passage when Mal exits the tent, Alina starts thinking "What am I doing? I'm no soldier, or Saint. How will I make it?"

Mal is an influence that constantly wears her down emotionally by making her doubt herself, making her have guilts and making her thoughts come back to him constantly ('cause he's always "What about me?? Think of me!! Look at how shit I feel!!").

Again, he makes the whole matter revolve around him.

There is a civil war ongoing and Mal is like "Okay, but what about me, Alina??!!?!"

LIKE BRO NOBODY GIVES TWO SHITS ABOUT YOU!! THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING HERE!!

And another toxic trait of his. Apparently, if a woman says "no" to him, it's unacceptable:

(The first passage is when Mal tried to kiss her but Alina saw the Darkling behind his back and the second one is when Alina saw Mal kissing Zoya, btw)

He gets angry for the fact that Alina withdrew from his attempted kiss. And apparently he "knows what that means" because every girl he had ever kissed was willing to him.

I'm sorry, Mal, for the fact that a girl changed her mind at the last minute.

If a girl changes her mind, then you must respect that. Not shout at her. NO MEANS NO, MAL.

Mal is that type of guy that throws you in bed, you kiss him and all, and at the last minute when you change your mind and don't want to go for it (for whatever reason the girl might have of course) he gets angry and says "BUT YOU SAID "YES" TWO MINUTES AGO!!!"

He gives me the ick for real, guys.

And, of course, his fury for Alina's power and status. Because, since she gained them, she's no longer depended on him.

Yes, people. Mal wanted to take out a piece of her soul essentially, so he could have her! Romantic!! 🤩🤩

Also, the fact that he was constantly looking like shit in S&S because he was drunk every night is also selfish of him. Mal was Alina's personal guard and protector. One of her three closest ones. By doing this, by having this behaviour, he gives a VERY bad image to Alina.

Imagine what the nobles would think if they saw him this way. The power of image is everything. Nikolai knew it. The Darkling knew it. Even Alina came to know it. By having one of your protectors drinking heavily all night, get into fights and look like shit makes Alina feel embarrassed for the image she gives to the other people. And she was actually in a very delicate position at that time, because she had to gain the trust of the King, his counselors and nobles. Mal should know better than embarrassing her.

Imagine if you were in a high position for the first time in your life, trying to make an impression so everything could go alright and, in the meanwhile, your guardian walks around drunk.

This is not good. In today's world, they fire such people from their work.

And all these bullshit from him in R&R saying "I told stories of you from your childhood so they could see the real Alina" is also bullshit. Bitch, if you wanted to do something good, look respectable for the part. If you want to cry and drink kvas 24/7 then resign, lock yourself up and do it. Don't embarrass your boss.

Also, Bardugo had said that after S&S she received a lot of negative comments about Mal's character. So it's no wonder she made him suddenly all "good" in R&R. She wanted to give reasons to the readers to like him and support his eventual marriage with Alina.

Anyways, I know people will say that the Darkling was no better but, guys...

This is not a competition. Of who is better or worse.

And just like another person had once said in this fandom "The Darkling represents a fairytale character while Mal reminds you of every jerk you've met in your life"

And it's a perfect quote to describe them.

The Darkling is the type of guy we all fall in love in fiction. A fantastical character that does bad deeds but still you swoon over.

While Mal is that asshole you met in high school treating you like shit. That boy you were seeing in corridors flirting with every girl he saw and being a fuckboy. That relationship you had that undermined your value.

Mal is a character that hits very close at home for the readers (with his actions and personality).

This post about him and M*lina explains my thoughts perfectly.

Go read it when you can, guys. It's an incredible mini meta.

[lovelyprincessn64]

Sunny-Dust and ArtRock15 are not who you think

Disclaimer: Don't go attack and harass anybody mentioned in this post, this is meant to spread awareness.

Warning mentions of: Gaslighting, manipulation, CP and pedo, SA, black face, fetishes, disturbing themes, viewer discretion is advised.

Well I didn't have to do this but Sunny-Dust and Artrock15 violated the agreement anyways for those of you don't know who Sunny-Dust and ArtRock15 are, they are two users that harass my friend back on June of last year for those of you wondering why they harass my friend is because he made a piece of satire making fun of modern day stupidity, no I'm not joking Sunny-Dust was the first to be offended by it and it gets worse she started harassing him over art she did not like and unfortunately she started to harass him and threatening him if he didn't comply and during the conversation he told her no that he wasn't going to take down the art he worked hard on and asked her to leave him alone and let him continue his work because of Sunny-Dust not getting her way she started making false accusations towards my friend and basically try to ruin my friends life and get him harassed my friend noticed it and basically asked her peacefully to take it down however it didn't stop she did take down the post however she did not stop continuing her false accusing antics then she went to ArtRock15 and told lies about the situation along with false damaging accusations that wasn't true and because of Sunny-Dust's lies Artrock15 blindly believed her instead of going to my friend's side of the story and eventually he started a harassment campaign and did the exact same thing she did threatening him instead of walking away however I caught one of this and I screenshot of the evidence and made a status update post exposing Sunny- Dust and ArtRock15's lies after that Sunny-Dust realize that she was exposed for being the real bully after that she apologized to me and promising she'll never do it again and they did promise that they would never mention my friend again however February of this year I received a message from my friend that they violated the agreement and they are trying to drag my friend down to drama and is trying to make it look like that he's associated by someone by the name of RazorClaw64 and just to clarify it's not true my friend is not friends with RazorClaw64 and neither does he want to be part of it

Here are the screenshot of the message I received from my friend and the screenshot of ArtRock15 mentioning my friend oh and one more thing if you see a red lipstick sticker it means censored I have to censor my friend's name for safety reasons:

As of right now I'm not sure why ArtRock15 did not censor my friend's name this could bring up the possibility that he's trying to false accused or just not caring in about our agreement, Sunny-Dust and ArtRock15 if you're reading this leave my friend alone I do understand that you're trying to defend yourself from someone threatening you but trying to make it look like my friend is one of them even though he's not is unacceptable and that's false accusing.

But we're not done here since Sunny-Dust and ArtRock15 did not follow the terms of our agreement I think it's time that I reveal their skeletons out in the closet, also to anybody that thinks Sunny-Dust is a good person she's not who you think she is including her friend they do not even follow their own rules or standards but yet they expect everybody else too but yet they cannot follow them themselves the worst part about it is they're not being held accountable for that stuff and I'll explain why.

Here's something that needs to be brought up Sunny-Dust does not practice what she preaches or follows her own rules including some questionable behaviors she has acted out on time and time again. For an example for those of you that don't know Sunny-dust has the mindset of the just because it's a fictional character it's not an excuse and the fiction effects reality mindset what if I were to tell you that she favored a piece of artwork that is trace / reference to CP of Netflix cuties for those of you don't know what cuties is it's a actual CP film made by a evil pedophilic woman from a different country, what's even worse is that it has pedophiles such as John Bob, Dream, Cosmicdwarf, including the pedophile Splatoon artist which makes it even more pedophilic the worst part about it is she has it in her favorites now fair warning before showing the evidence I did had to censor the art because it's based off of the horrible poster now for those of you wondering is it safe to make satire / redraw out of cuties the answer is no it's against the law cuties is classified as actual CP due to USA law meaning you can never make satire / redraw out of that film or else you get into trouble.

Anyways here's the screenshots and proof fair warning it's pretty bad and gross if you're someone that is sensitive please skip a rest of the parts of this post:

What's even worse is that she favored this disgusting piece of work that is based off of Netflix's actual CP film cuties this means that Sunny-Dust was never against pedophilia and used virtue signaling tactics to draw suspicion from her and getting away with bad behavior, not only it's gross on her part but it's borderline disgusting and not to mention Sunny-Dust is gross and a pedophile and she's even more despicable and have the audacity of saying just because it's a fictional character it's not an excuse well meanwhile she likes pedophilia artwork and that's not all she even favors this pedophilic meme now fair warning it's also censor do not go out of your way to search it it's disturbing which is why I have it censored.

proof:

I'm not even joking look at this what you're seeing is her name favoring that disgusting meme the worst part about it is she even likes this meme despite child abuse on it and to make matters worse Sunny-Dust found this meme to be funny this could possibly mean she has no problems with people mocking those are victims of SA and the fact that she found this meme hilarious despite mocking the victims is borderline disgusting if you think this is the end of the story you're wrong Sunny-Dust even enjoys shipping abusers and apparently she even romanticizes the ship would be Ren and Stimpy for those of you wondering why the ship is considered bad is because Ren is a horrific abuser that would often abuse Stimpy including physically assaulting him and verbally abusing him and it gets worse overtime throughout the show from Ren and Stimpy from each episode, the worst part about it is in the adult party cartoon Ren takes a saw and uses it to abused Stimpy, the worst part about it is Stampy does not stand up for himself or bother to break up with Ren and the fact that Sunny-Dust even likes that ship and even romanticizes despite the fact that ship contains abuse including other types of abuse, I find this to be pretty horrifying that Sunny-Dust likes to ship Ren who is nothing but a disgusting abuser that does nothing to abuse anybody around him along with Stampy who can't even stand up against Ren which kind of goes against her morals of fiction effects reality or just because it's a fictional character it's not an excuse but yeah she's enjoying something that goes against all of that and pretty much the romanticize it and basically shooting herself in the foot I do have screenshots of her admitting that she likes she likes the ship despite how problematic it is fair warning if you're not comfortable skip to a safety part.

I all see is nothing but pure nightmare fuel, the fact that Sunny-Dust often lectures about just because it's a fictional character it's not an excuse fiction effects reality but yet she has no problem liking a ship that is considered an abusive ship that has Ren in it, as for Ren the Chihuahua he's nothing but a abuser that abuses anybody or anyone that even goes near him without a second thought in mind with no remorse to anyone out there if you a person that lectures about fiction effects reality then don't enjoy ships that contain abusers if you do you basically wound up shooting yourself in the foot and possibly worse things can come out of it.

She also simps for Donald Duck and to make matters worse a comment post a with Squidward gif of the words oh no he's hot. It was borderline gross with disgusting.

Apparently she likes to simp for animals and the fact that her friends followers are okay with this behavior despite the fact that it's not okay definitely shows that there's something wrong with her, including Sunny-Dust definitely does raise a lot of questions about her behavior but sadly her questionable behavior do not stop there.

Sunny-Dust also favored a disgusting SpongeBob AU artwork that is based off of the vocaloid song called madness of duke venomania.

for those of you that don't know what that song is it's based off of the thing called lust the worst part about it is the song talks about a sexual predator Purple Duke R wording people and abused towards women including sadism now I will say this I did research on this because I felt like that Sunny-Dust was favoring something disgusting and sadly I was right now I will a rundown of the story, the story of the song's lore now for those of you don't know it's about a purple Duke that hated how he was born ugly and he basically tried to live the best life he can but apparently it drove him mad eventually he killed his family out of rage due to the fact that they neglect him and locked him in the dungeon due him not being beautiful enough, on one night he after he killed his family, a demon showed up and made a deal with a demon associated with the sin lust and according to the lord the deal he made with the demon allowed him to switch his face with his brother's face because he was jealous of his brother's looks he also grant him demonic powers and eventually he started using those powers for horrific crimes however he was stopped by a man that disguise himself as a woman and the curse of the purple duke was broken as for the women that were under his curse they were free under his control and left him never to be seen again. No I'm not kidding that's the lore of the song and it's borderline gross and disgusting the worst part about it is people make fanfictions and fanarts of this disgusting abomination even AUs worst part about it is Sunny-Dust even likes that disgusting crap about that artwork despite ignoring the red flag because if you look closely at this Au artwork you will actually notice the word lust which can give you a clear sign of that something is wrong.

And here's another worst thing about Sunny-Dust she even slandered the voice actress of Abby from Back at the Barnyard for those of you that don't know Sunny-Dust really loves to preach about I care about children however that is not true because in her status update post from October she bad mouth the voice actress that showed up to a school board meeting standing up for kids and she basically telling the teachers to leave the kids alone and trying to give them a voice as for Sunny-Dust instead of praising her and congratulating her of standing up for children she straight up slandered her and made it all about politics instead of putting her differences aside and praising the actress for doing something that actually helping children and not just virtue signaling, she straight up bad mouth her and called her a bad person just because the voice actress did not have the same views as her the worst part about it is she it is ignoring the fact the school system that is known for doing a lot of bad things to children including pedophile, cases of child abuse and most importantly crimes of SA, keep in mind Sunny-Dust not only showed her true colors that she does not care about children but it only cares about looking good rather, rather than taking actual actions of actually helping people but instead she made it all about politics also here's the screenshot of it however I do have to censor it because I am trying to keep this neutral as possible and I don't want any drama this is mainly focusing on Sunny-Dust so people can be aware about her egotistic behaviors.

As you can see here It looks like that Sunny-Dust cares about her beliefs rather than putting her differences aside and praising people that actually cares about children she would pretty much rare slander them and bad mouth them even though that person is actually doing actual help for children the worst part about it is, she said she has more respect for the Serbian actress rather than the voice actress that is trying to help children which is not only straight up disrespectful for Sunny-Dust to said about the actress and to make matters worse Sunny-Dust not realize that there are children out there that are allergic reaction to certain things meaning that she does not care about the consequences of someone suffering from allergic reactions and basically thinks it's okay to force people to take something that can potentially either kill them or wound up in the hospital or worse. The worst part about it is Sunny-Dust does not seem to care or know the basic concept of allergic reactions and probably does not care about people including children that can suffer through it, but instead she has to make it all about her feelings being hurt because somebody did not share the same beliefs as her and actually standing up for children rather than virtue signaling.

Also on the same month of October and June she tried to manipulate and gas lit my friend by saying quote " Hey I want to say something: the reason why I believe you draw hate art because I have trust issues " For those of you don't know this is a red flag along with actually an abuse tactic for those of you don't know abusers do gas light people to try and guilt trip them and try to make them let down their guard and basically victim blaming the victim for those of you don't know my friend makes satire artwork for those of you don't know what satire is it's meant as a parody as a joke it's also meant as a tool to help shape the next generation of comedians and to keep it alive for generations, apparently Sunny-Dust did not like the satire that my friend was making just because she does not like it and basically calls it hate art including shame him by saying I think you have trust issues basically trying to break his confidence down just because she did not like something which is not only downright petty but downright evil. One more thing here's the screenshots that my friend sent me of her trying to manipulate my friend and keep in mind this is the screenshots of the notes that my friend sent to me of Sunny-Dust trying to gaslitting my friend including the other one of her threatening my friend.

This is what she sent to my friend in the middle of October and June, this is the notes that my friend showed me what Sunny-Dust sent to him upon reading the notes I noticed she was trying to gaslight my friend and try to manipulate him and basically was trying to get him to stop doing satire just because she did not like it after reading the note I told my friend the news and that Sunny-Dust was trying to manipulate him and gaslighting him the worst part about it is my friend has never dealt with manipulation or abuse in his life so he wasn't able to detect it like I was I had to explain to him about it and unfortunately it shocked him even though he took it well but it definitely did shock him well as of right now I am trying to help him to detect gaslighting and manipulation so he can avoid it in the near future and to make sure it does not happen again.

Sadly the story of manipulation and abuse doesn't stop there, she also threatened to throw her friend ArtRock15 under the bus and threatened him including false accusations to ruin his life and reputation for those of you wondering why she threatened her own friend is over a fanfiction that ArtRock15 wrote about Freddy the ferret killing chickens no I'm not joking she literally threatened ArtRock15 just because of a fanfiction she did not like and just like what she did to my friend she straight up harassed and even threatened to throw ArtRock15 under the bus even threatening to send followers after him if he did not comply sadly he bend the knee the worst part about it is he doesn't realize that he's in an abusive friendship that he doesn't realize, worst part about it is instead of cutting ties with Sunny-Dust for good he forgave and basically in denial despite the abuse that she afflicted on him, and then she plays the well I didn't mean to threaten you I just did not like what you depict with Freddy yes, you did Sunny-Dust you literally threatened ArtRock15 to have his reputation ruin and send your followers after him over a fanfiction you did not like worst part about it is you abused him in order to get your way instead of Sunny-Dust understanding that the world does not evolve around her and not treat fictional characters like they're real but instead she seems to care about fictional characters rather than her own friend, to anybody out there if I can have to give any advice if your friend threaten you over a fanfiction they do not like including abusing you they are not your friend that's an abuser and that's a sign that you need to step away and cut ties before they treat you like a coping mechanism also here's the screenshot of it fair warning it's pretty bad and it definitely describes how abusive Sunny-Dust she can be if she does not like something.

Honestly this is just sad and terrible imagine being friends with someone that you thought was a good person and support you no matter what but instead they backstab you and abandon you and chose a fictional character by the moment that they find something they do not like, another blow to this is that Sunny-Dust find something she does not like she'll resort into threats if she does not like something to everybody reading this whatever you do, do not befriend Sunny-Dust if you do there's a chance that she will threaten you and possibly gaslight you advice I can give to you in case Sunny-Dust tries to harm you is to make sure you screenshot what she's doing to you and possibly make a status update post to help spread awareness and one more thing immediately cut ties with her do not give her a second chance because if there's anything to know about abusive people they always gaslight you into something and they will always abuse you Non-Stop and what important thing to do know abusers are never sorry they'll just go back to abusing again and again they do not keep their promises at all, the only way that you can stop them from having power over you is that you cut ties with them and move away and don't look back and actually find good friends that actually care about you not someone that is willing to threaten you over something they do not like.

However ArtRock15 is not any better then Sunny-Dust and here's a little something Sunny-Dust not enforce her rules and basically has double standards if you go to her DA page you'll notice it states no fetish including no filling meme and no racism however she doesn't do a good job in forcing her rules she may claims, for one her friend ArtRock15 has a fetish about animal butt he often makes them oversize and has characters molesting each also I kind of find this hypocritical about both Sunny-Dust and ArtRock15 of having the same just because it's a fictional character it's not an excuse and fiction effects reality mindset but yet they're doing the exact opposite of they claim to be against but not following what they are preaching so according to their logic that would make ArtRock15 a Zoophile since that would mean that regardless if it's drawing or not that would still be animal abuse and sexualizing animals and that technically makes them a hypocrite, but it doesn't stop there ArtRock15 also made a disgusting artwork about Patrick from SpongeBob covered in shit. No I'm not kidding he literally covered Patrick in shit the worst part about it is it's technically black face since Patrick is a pink starfish and doesn't have human skin, the worst part about it is he thought it would be funny to make satire of Patrick covered in shit the worst part about it is he does not realize this does fall under the category of black face not only he thinks racism is funny and spoiler alert it's not funny also here's the screenshots of the pictures fair warning if you're sensitive to these things please skip to a safety part:

As we can see here this is what ArtRock15 in to, having characters touching them inappropriately including all kinds of disgusting stuff the worst part about it is ArtRock15 seems to be really into that kind of stuff which is really disgusting and kind of concerning not to mention hypocritical since ArtRock15 has the mindset of fiction effects reality but yet he has a animal butt fetish and has no problems with characters molesting each other in his artworks and overall being a generally disgusting person for even romanticizing that kind of crap and it does make me wonder why he isn't being called out for being a hypocrite well we may never know or maybe people just turn a blind eye despite the red flags being there on full display.

But the hypocrisy doesn't stop there Sunny-Dust just like ArtRock15 doesn't practice what they preach for those of you don't know she has the mindset of just because it's a fictional character it's not an excuse that's still child abuse. She even went around and virtue signaling and trying to lecture people over memes about fictional characters hitting each other, however I have screenshots of her having a meme of Lincoln suffering child abuse while Squidward is laughing and she even bragged about going to Five Nights at Freddy's the movie no I'm not making this up she claims to be Against Child Abuse regardless of its fiction or not but yeah she has no problem of Purple guy, William, Shaggy murdering fictional children including themes of child murder like how does that make any sense Sunny-Dust claims that fiction effects reality but yet she went to see a movie that has themes of child murder so according to Sunny-Dust's logic that would mean that would make her a supporter of child murder for liking a movie that contains child abuse, if we're going with her argument of fiction effects reality apparently it's rules for thee but not for me also kind of reminds me how celebrities try to lecture everybody that you need to do this and that but yet they take their private jet and fly somewhere yeah that kind of thing, anyways here are the screenshots of her hypocrisy of not practicing what she preaches.

Is this the type of person that we should listen to that claims fiction affects reality and just because it's a fictional character it's not an excuse while at the same time child abusing Lincoln and even saying F Lincoln while making a meme. Including bragging about going to see a movie that has themes of child murder, this is a pure example of people that are using certain mindsets to have special privileges while being a hypocrite out in the open of not following their own standards the worst part about it is no one has called her out on this and demanding answers of why she's not following what she preaches not only it's straight up baffling that no one is criticizing her of being a hypocrite but it definitely shows that not a lot of people can practice what they preach.

That's not all Sunny-Dust even admitted that she ships Selena Gomez with Elsa without Selena Gomez's consent the worst part about it is she admits it was pedo meaning that Elsa was depicted as a minor instead of an adult however we were given no clear answer of what age Elsa was depicted however given that she admits it was Pedo this means Elsa was depicted as a child while being ship with Selena Gomez the worst part about it, is it does break the law and it does go against consent laws it also falls under the category of SA including also for those of you that don't know Selena Gomez is a real life person also an actress and a singer and all kinds of things, not only Sunny-Dust has ship someone that is real without their consent but the worst part about it is she even romanticizing violating people like that which is borderline disgusting and Sunny-Dust should be ashamed of herself for doing that to Selena Gomez also here's the screenshot of her admitting to shipping Selena Gomez without her consent fair warning it's extremely bad and disturbing.

Before you say but she was just a teen she didn't know better being a teen is not an excuse to violate someone and to make matters worse that could have caused harm to Selena Gomez possibly relationships and other things too, the worst part about it is her followers know what she did to Selena and to make matters worse they still support her and forgive her despite violating a real person without their consent and it gets worse she's either lying or doing it behind closed doors still as of right now we do not know if Sunny-Dust is telling the truth or not but given how she is it's best to believe that she's lying and not the type of person you want to trust, the worst part about it is nobody actually talked about this back from last year people were quiet about this and I don't know why that nobody talked about the red flags that Sunny-Dust was showing out in the open not only it's concerning but it can lead to more victims being preyed on or not knowing what Sunny-Dust has done. Sunny-Dust if you're reading this please do us all a favor and stop trying to police the internet most importantly the world does not evolve around you if you cannot handle what's on the internet then you shouldn't be here it also does not give you the right to abuse people also just because you have certain beliefs does not give you special privileges or special rights most importantly if you cannot practice your own rules or practice what you preach then you have no right to preach at all if you do not follow what you preach then don't practice what you preach if you cannot follow yourself the standards you created.

Before I end this post the accusations of Sunny-Dust bullying such as harassment, threats including intimidate are truth is the accusations and the reason why I am saying this and confirming this. Is because my friend was threatened by her along with her friend Artrock15 the worst part about it is they try to ruin my friend's life over satire they do like claiming it was hate art however I expose them for being hypocrites and it turns out she was actually okay with ArtRock15 doing satire but not my friend and basically try to hog it all for himself in a double standard fashion.

If you don't believe me here's the screenshot of ArtRock15 threatening my friend along with false accusations.

To everybody out there reading this please spread the word fast as you can before she prays on any other victims and one more thing everybody has permission to Archive this post and the screenshots including featuring my post to yours, one more thing do not let Sunny-Dust or ArtRock15 including their white knights threaten you or degrade you, don't be afraid to stand up and show the proof in order to prevent any more future victims from being created be careful and stay safe.

Disclaimer: this post is meant to clarify that my friend is not associated with RazorClaw64 along with Frankmaster61 neither does not support them or their beliefs. Also to anybody out there that are reading this whatever you do, do not let Sunny-Dust manipulate or abuse you she'll try everything in her gas lighting tactics to you degrade you or to give up something you enjoy doing most importantly please cut ties Sunny-Dust immediately before she gets to you because she'll have no problem backstabbing you over stuff she does not like most importantly do not bend the knee if you are being threatened by Sunny-Dust or gaslighting please take screenshots of it and make an awareness post calling out her abusive behavior if I have to give any advice do not be friends with someone that threaten you over stuff they do not like or be friends with someone chooses fictional characters over you because at the end of the day they do not care about you and actually find a friend that is willing to support you no matter what and won't backstab you and choose a fictional character over you good people care about their friends the most importantly do not threaten people over stuff that you do not like that's wrong, find a good friend is always there for them no matter what however if someone is threatening you or throws you under the bus it's best to cut ties immediately and make an awareness post most importantly spread it like wildfire and one more thing don't forget to report and get many people as possible as well too and hopefully we can prevent more victims from being created.

[thatlittledandere]

Ao3 antis are so fucking funny honestly "this 30-year-old (a crime in and of itself) wrote an imaginary story where imaginary bad things happen to my imaginary blorbo but when I told them to die a violent death I got flagged for harassment??" Honey I know being 16 does fucky things to your brain but do you hear yourself

[snifflesthemouse]

There's a sense of freedom that comes with anonymity of online interactions. This sense of freedom only exists because of the fact it's difficult for the real world to catch up with you in your real life. Unless of course, you go after the wrong one.

When a person goes after someone else solely because they think differently or have a strong opposing opinion, they often do so with a false gusto and bravery that only exists in the virtual realm. Like many say online, "You'd never say that to my face." And that's true for most people... but not all people.

And because of this anonymity, that affords all internet users the freedom to say whatever, a real life concern spawns from a virtual world. This real life concern is often referred to as "doxxing" where one internet user uses what clues and resources they have available to "expose" another internet user's real life. This has happened to many people I watch on YouTube. Some have even had to involve the real life police, as well as uproot their entire lives and move because of doxxing.

For example, Murky Meg has been doxxed a couple times now. She's had her real life threatened by doxxing. Terrifyingly, she wasn't the only target threatened because the douche flutes also brought her children into it. Yes, the same people who worship the Montecito Madam and preach the mantras of "compassion and kindness" and "leave children out of this" have gone so far as to go after Murky Meg's real life and real life children. And sadly, the threats and attacks never really stop. Especially when articles like the one I wrote about make the rounds. But Murky Meg doesn't allow this all to silence her; she keeps calm and carries on regardless.

Another example involves Yankee Wally. She was targeted repeatedly over copyright infringement on her YouTube channel, as well as having her social media accounts suspended repeatedly over the last few years. And even though Yankee Wally has never pretended to be anything or anyone else than who she is in real life, people have attempted to use her past as a weapon to discredit her. Those attempts are futile, though, because Yankee Wally has always been open and honest about her life. She's also been very clear to the people watching her that she will fight back if need be.

Then there's According2Taz. While Taz has gone through the same ringer that so many others have gone through (from doxxing to threats, harassment, and verbal abuse), she has also been attacked financially. Especially when it comes to her supporting good causes. Some twat waffles have sent her £0.01 via PayPal with notes attached. Notes that are grossly abusive, calling her fat and ugly, and saying her husband is cheating on her. Others have sent requests asking her to pay them £100 with notes attacking HRH Catherine the Duchess of Cambridge and her book. Murky Meg got a similar request, as well. But the most heinous impediment coming from the Montecito Madam's extremists, involved charity. Once, when Taz was raising money for Australian wildlife affected by the wildfires; someone reported her PayPal account and those funds were held up for some time before getting released for the cause. Then, again, Taz was targeted when she was raising funds to help an elderly woman who got robbed. Yes, the very same people, who stand on custom-made soap boxes emblazoned with the Sussex monogram, did everything they possibly could to marginally disrupt charity. Yet Taz does not waiver; she keeps going.

As bad as Murky Meg, Yankee Wally, and Taz have had it, they're sadly not alone. No, they are only three examples from a plethora of examples. Of that plethora, one more example comes to mind. That example involves DanjaZone (Ashli).

Ashli, who started her YouTube channel before the whole Megxit ordeal as a way to keep in touch with family, was even the subject of a blind item from CDAN (crazy days and nights). You see, Ashli and her family lost everything they had in a horrible house fire. Rumors swirled around the fire, but the most heinous comments came from the Sussex Squad's more prominent loudmouths. Some accused Ashli of lying about the fire in an attempt to scam people for money. Others called her white trash and trailer trash. So while Ashli was going through the loss of her home and everything she owned... while she was grieving the loss of family pets and irreplaceable family mementos... while she was down and out on her luck and trying to cope with all the pain and loss... while she was going through all of the attacks from doubters saying she faked the fire or was lying, that she was trailer trash... the disciples of the Duchess were laughing and celebrating her pain as a win. Never once considering the fact that Ashli has been in recovery for years now, and the stress from the fire coupled with the heartless, feckless attacks, could in fact push her over the edge.

No, the very same people, who scream via CAPS lock on social media that critics of Meghan should "leave her alone", that her critics drove the Montecito Madam to "suicidal ideation while pregnant" could care less about Ashli's mental health. Yes, the very same people, who lodged over 50,000 OFCOM complaints against Piers Morgan because he questioned their beloved's outlandish attacks during the Oprah interview, previously found no issues with attacking Ashli during one of the hardest times in her life. Yet, Ashli picked up the pieces and never gave up or gave into their attacks.

Again, these four examples are just the tip of the hypocritical iceberg. There are countless more examples out there. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people who criticize Meghan's and Harry's behaviors can all relate. Nobody is safe or off limits from this iceberg; from Royal Rota reporters, celebrities, and politicians to regular people who aren't rich, famous, or in possession of a global platform.

Yet nobody, and I mean absolutely nobody, in the media or in journalism ever cover any of this. You can find articles galore written with the intentions of exposing "Meghan Markle Haters". Articles like the one I wrote about attacking critics and reducing us all to the stereotypes of racist, misogynist, bigot, envious, etc.

What that does is send a clear, prominent message to the people who cling to every word of the Montecito Madam. The people who cling to the wind coming from her mouth, her "close friends" or fake "palace insiders" hear those dog whistles loud and clear. The dog whistles that say "It's okay, keep attacking and hurting people. They're evil, hateful racists. They deserve the abuse. You're on the side of good. Go harder!"

When in truth, the wind they cling to coming from their beloved's mouth or mouthpieces is actually falsehoods, lies, and manifestations of grandeur that is no more real than Netflix's The Crown. No, the wind they cling to really comes from the south mouth of their beloved. But God forbid anyone hold their little cult accountable.

We cannot have a society where sensationalism trumps truth. We cannot weaponize the press and use it against people simply because they criticize the Meghan Markles of the world. It is unacceptable for the press, media platforms, or anyone with a prominent influence on society, to celebrate defenders of the Meghan Markle faith without first acknowledging the truth.

The truth, which is often dream dashing and harsh, is that "Meghan Markle Lovers" could care less about compassion, kindness, charity, children, or community. The truth is, they could care less about forgiveness or loving thy neighbors. We don't have to look to their savior figurehead to prove this to be true. We only have to look at the comments section or Twitter.

Those of us who criticize or dislike Meghan and Harry because of their behavior know all too well the truth will never be written up on the front page of the Sun, the Daily Mail, or People Magazine. The mirage of us being the racists, misogynists, or detesting haters sells papers. And the papers don't want to be in that same category.

Maybe one day the press will tell the stories of people like Murky Meg, Yankee Wally, Taz, Ashli, and countless others in an effective way that exposes the real haters in the relationship. Maybe one day, the victims of the Montecito Madam's cult following will be doxxed, exposed, and sent a new message. A message that says, "We see you for the hypocrites you are. You may repeat the preachings of your Madam like it's the new woke gospel, but you don't practice it. You're a big reason why people loathe your beloved. You make her look worse. You aren't defending her, you are condemning her. Keep it up, because we see you and we will expose you!"

If only...

[wewinbees]

“you only saw me as a weapon!” an in-depth analysis of tommy and techno’s relationship /rp

a mild focus on techno’s thoughts since it’s his speech, but not one or the other is in the right here. a lot of this might have been said, but this is a BIG collection from pogtopia to doomsday to address as many angles as possible. to preface, i don’t think tommy sees techno as a weapon and nothing else, but the point remains that techno feels like he does, and that’s important.

this is from like january btw lol

we’ll start with “the blade” tommy’s nickname for techno, which got adopted by a lot of the server (as tommy’s nicknames tend to be). most other people have the Big [X] format, but techno gets this specialised nickname. i think the reason he developed a negative association with it was because of when it was used; when they need him for fights. the most important would be the vault reveal, with wilbur getting everyone to victoriously chant “we have the blade!” to boister morale. this would have been fine in and of itself, if it weren’t for the events of the rest of the day and what that name would come to represent. it ends up becoming a taunt to him, because that’s what people get close to him for. his use to them as the blade rather than his friendship to them as technoblade

tommy’s always very happy to call in techno for help, and techno usualy sorts it out with... minimal effort required. i do see this more as a blend of tommy’s pride in knowing techno and smugness at having that kind of upperhand in a fight over him viewing techno solely as a weapon to use, but this still ends up being detrimental to their friendship because of how much it happens. remember, the entire reason techno joined the server was to help wilbur and techno form pogtopia. techno doesn’t mind helping tommy out, but at some point it’s going to be frustrating, being called in for any and all minor struggles. but in the end of the day, it’s fine, because they’re brothers under the same cause. destroying manberg. Oh Wait.

the main issue came after the festival, with that faith and trust tommy had in techno being shattered; rightfully so, because watching tubbo get murdered was traumatic for him, because for tommy the pit was no way to settle that conflict (which reminded, wasn’t techno’s suggestion, it was proposed and pushed onto them by wilbur). since tommy sees technoblade as unbeatable, he couldn’t understand why techno was so easily peer-pressured by manberg. he was threatened by how many people were against him, he was stressed dealing with the voices telling him to do it, he didn’t see any other way out, he wasn’t getting any support from his only other allies even though he was looking right at them and they still did nothing.

but tommy didn’t understand because he thought techno could have won. techno did try to stall as well, but without orders from his friends he ended up following schatt’s, and once he realised he had the power to kill everyone on stage, he just gave into that power. the miscommunication during the pogtopia arc was why techno felt as betrayed as he did, and why the victim complex argument annoys me so much, since he was kept in the dark for that long while grinding resources for the army. also, since techno wasn’t there for l’manberg’s peaceful days or the start of the disc saga he would never understand how important those attachments were to people, so he’d feel little remorse blowing them all up (especially since he knew that was the backup plan for pogtopia anyway, and just because people were unhappy about it didn’t change the fact that it was a plan)

a lot of people say that techno should have known that pogtopia’s goal was to form a new government, that at some point he should have overheard the real plan. everyone agreed to ‘destroy manberg’ (as in the government not the land) but somehow techno never found out about the ‘restoring l’manberg’ part of the plan. how that happened, who knows, but in the end of the day, the writers chose for that miscommunication to happen for the story. it’s not a how or a why, it’s just a fact that was written in. he didn’t find out until it was right in front of him, and he was bound to feel betrayed by that, enough that he was driven to do something irrational. my personal theory is that techno was mainly following wilbur’s orders, and because wilbur was the real traitor, chances are he never mentioned any forming of a new government since he knew that would lose techno’s support. wilbur was probably using techno as a weapon, that was his mentality for a lot of people back then, but since he was the leader of pogtopia then that negative transference carried on to the rest of the members for techno, most of all tommy as he was the other key founder, and not as underhanded about getting techno’s help. i’d say wilbur’s address of techno during the final speech was the a key reason as to why techno doesn’t feel as used by him than he is with tommy, solidifying the anarchy bros before dying, meaning anything else could be revealed.

after the war, the bedrock bros were completely alienated from eachother. tommy started to blame everything about l’manberg’s destruction on techno, since wilbur died and ghostbur isn’t really at fault for anything. techno distanced himself from everything, going into retirement for the unforeseeable future because he felt like his violent anarchist tactics were futile and grew tired of constant conflict. he talked to tommy a few times during retirement, and every single time, he asks tommy how the government was working out for him. when he was at risk of being exiled, just before being exiled and immediately after exile. he wanted tommy to see the government in the same light as he did, because when l’manberg sold him out he realised they were the same. they’d both been betrayed by the government and from that point on he fully believed tommy would be better off away from l’manberg. but every time tommy said no, because he believed in the original dream wilbur had for l’manberg and because he trusted tubbo’s leadership. techno was smug when he was proved right because of course he was he’s technoblade. plus, they did view eachother as enemies at this point, so it’s not unacceptable for them to argue with eachother right now.

that brings us to the execution. traumatising! the refusal to run a fair trial and the dehumanising treatment from his old allies in pogtopia hammer this home, but importantly they rope philza into the chaos this time. ALSO it’s important to mention that techno was killed; he just got an extra life from the totem. he was actually killed and his character experienced that pain as punishment. he was pushed out of retirement, which was unjust in his eyes, since he believed he had genuinely changed. it didn’t help that quackity explicitly told him it wasn’t actually punishment for the withers, but instead a move to consolidate power, furthering his view of the cabinet as corrupt. from that point on he left retirement. he’d been doing well without violence, building connections with new people like vikk and lazar and finding a fragile form of peace, but in the end this shattered it. he’s back to being the blade, speaking with violence, because l’manberg made it clear there was no other way for him to be heard at this point. so he’s going to destroy them, even if he has to do it alone.

enter stage raccooninnit.

tommy taking refuge in techno’s house because he knew techno was rich enough for him to steal his resources and strong enough to defend him from dream is... interesting. he couldn’t go back to l’manberg, but he took refuge with a man who he viewed as a villain. this probably doesn’t help techno’s opinion of him, since he is quite literally using him for his resources, but in the end of the day tommy was desperate and quite literally on the verge of death, so he seemed to take some kind of pity on him. the exile period of their relationship is definitely the most important part of this argument, because it was just the two of them: no wilbur or pogtopia as an external force (though the pressure of dream and l’manberg still affected things) but in the same way ultimately doomed to fail. they fight for a moment, but ultimately settle as ‘business partners’. which quickly evolves back into a friendship like the one they had before the festival.

my least favourite take is that either one of them never valued the other at this point because this is just.... violently not true. they started off working for mutual benefit; tommy explicitly agreed to do minor terrorism in l’manberg and to help techno get his weapons back in return for techno’s help getting the discs back and taking refuge in his house. from the start both of them stated their limits:

techno was always planning on getting revenge on l’manberg for what happened on the day of his execution

tommy never wanted to upset tubbo, and wanted to put getting his discs back first

should note that tommy changes his mind on the disc’s priority later on, but at the point of their alliance he does make it clear that’s what he wants out of the partnership. the issue is that from the start both of them went in with blind optimism. neither of them lied to eachother or forced them to change their viewpoints but in the end of the day they could never be on the same side as long as l’manberg was involved. (note, i think some people think he wasn’t but techno was actually planning on helping tommy getting the discs back, with him getting annoyed at tommy letting tubbo give dream the disc because that made both of their jobs so much harder, but it was more of a long term goal bc he knew dream was hard to beat. plus before his execution, he visited tommy and strongly implied he would be willing to help with the discs, and that he would be a better ally in those personal aims than NLM were)

i don’t understand the ‘techno was only using tommy’ accusation here because like... how? what would he have to gain by having tommy on his side? he could definitely have blown up l’manberg without his help, so why bring him in at all? it was a very mutual agreement of ‘we’re using eachother’ that developed into genuine friendship. i’ve always seen it as a teaching experience: techno knows tommy had been wronged by NLM, and by extension tubbo, and by taking him on these minor terrorism trips, he’s showing tommy the worst of l’manberg. look, look at this execution stand, look at what they’ve done. and in doing this, he’s trying to prove to tommy that what he’s going to do to l’manberg is right. and in showing him the worst of NLM, he’s neglecting all of its good parts, but again, techno cant see any positives in l’manberg, and is trying to show tommy that everyone, especially tommy, would be better off without it. and tommy had criticisms of l’manberg before he was exiled, especially in regards to tubbo. he told ranboo the reason he chose wilbur to be president instead of tubbo was because he was worried the presidency would ruin their friendship, and Look At Exactly What Happened. techno highlighting the flaws of the country to tommy was easy because it WAS flawed and it hurt both of them. and techno’s hope was that tommy would join him in the eventual destruction of it, because he wanted to share his revenge with tommy and for him to get his own justice against l’manberg. but it... didn’t quite work out that way.

they both tried to make it easier for the other; techno told tommy he didn’t need to fight against l’manberg if he didn’t want to, but tommy came with him to the festival anyway to confront dream, despite techno’s mission being against the government in that situation. tommy started to view tubbo’s cabinet as corrupt for the execution and neglecting him during exile, and ended up helping techno out around the base and even toning down the purposeful annoyance (per techno’s ooc request). and the day before the green festival, he told techno he would help to destroy l’manberg (not knowing how quickly things would escalate the next day, since doomsday was fairly spontaneous) but in the end they would never be able to find a full compromise: techno would always be an anarchist and tommy could never hurt tubbo.

people accuse techno of not caring for tommy, which really annoys me because it’s not?? true??? if anything he shows more outward affection than tommy did. he didn’t have any benefit from taking in tommy, but he still did it. it’s not really basic decency either, given that they were technically enemies beforehand. he picked up on tommy’s fragile state around dream and defended, hid him despite the fact that he owed dream, he kept him away from logsted and the final control room after realising how upsetting they were. he exchanged the christmas presents, he jumped in to defend him against the rest of the server and when tommy betrayed techno, he was genuinely hurt! he was wrecklessly impulsive in a way the calculated blade usually wasn’t, almost blowing up half his house (including almost killing his villagers) because of the negative association with dnret.

that’s not to say tommy doesn’t also get absolutely crucified for betraying techno because of all of techno did for him. again it was somewhat inevitable. tommy said it himself, he was turning into someone he didn’t want to be, he was hurting people, and it was somewhat because he was living with technoblade. he was so powerless under dream, and he liked the feeling of power he got from teaming with techno, so much so that it drove him to cruelty, with even techno telling him he went too far with fundy. in the end, it’s probably for the best that he set that boundary and left to go back to l’manberg, but ultimately it was upsetting to both of them. techno felt betrayed because he genuinely thought tommy was his friend, only to be turned on last minute once again, now surrounded alone by enemies he was trying to protect tommy from. to him, allying with dream was just as bad as tommy allying with l’manberg. a betrayal for a betrayal, absolute reciprocity.

we all know the doomsday speech, with techno’s arguments being consistently stronger than tommy’s and much easier to defend, but we can’t just dismiss him. tommy had a lot of emotional input that day, and was angry at techno for a Lot of reasons, so he was more focused on shouting than making sense. he was more accusatory, while techno had fairly focused rebuttals (which, fair, i’m pretty sure that was techno’s first big addressal of most of that with other characters). it ended with tommy calling techno selfish for destroying l’manberg and techno coldly shutting tommy out for the betrayal.

betrayal was the driving force for techno’s “weapon” speech. tommy used him in pogtopia, tried to use him to stop dream exiling him and terrorising NLM) which he laughed at when told in character) and used him for getting the discs back. tommy wasn’t just using him, he genuinely felt like they had built a relationship beyond that, but when techno acted under his own ideals that went against his, then it was over. because tommy doesn’t value techno’s ideals, because they’re ‘selfish’ to him since he’s one of the only ones who believes in them. in turn techno sees that as making tommy selfish and as such they’re unable to compromise.

living with techno was an important part of tommy’s recovery process, which is still ongoing now. he saw immediate changes from his time with dream, claiming he felt “more me-ey” around techno and genuinely valuing his company. but he viewed techno’s alliance with dream as a betrayal, and he viewed the nov 16th incident as a betrayal. because he see’s techno’s belief in anarchy as selfish. something i never hear people point out is that tommy ADMITS he betrayed techno. after doomsday*, he says “all this time, technoblade told me i was betraying him. and you know what? (whispered) i was.” he’s guilty about it, and he understands that techno’s hurt. but he still can’t see him as being in the right, because techno took l’manberg forcefully and violently, and because tommy was hurt by their separation too. techno was powered by revenge more than anarchy during doomsday, which i think is important to point out. tommy had focused in on the threat of dream, and forgotten all the trauma techno went through with l’manberg, and left techno to rejoin l’manberg.

BOTH of them have explicitly stated “i viewed him as a friend but he never viewed me as one” and that’s just... devastating. at one point we can only hope that they have an in-canon conversation to actually settle all of this, but for now their storylines are separate and we’ll just have to live with that.

if anyone has anything they’d like to ask/clarify, or additions from any side i’d love to see it bc character analysis of dsmp characters is what’s keeping me going rn lmao. i said betrayal so many times here i am very sorry for clogging up the tag bc my readmore isn’t working yet (edit SAVED)

*i actually think this speech from tommy is very important, and not looked at as much as other stuff so im gonna link it here [55:52].

[c-is-for-circinate]

Thinking today about viruses, allergies, oppression, and anti culture.

(under a cut because WHOOOPS this got long)

Racism is a virus. Homophobia, transphobia, sexism, antisemitism, ableism, etc etc etc, they are all viruses--a topic that many of us have learned a great deal about in the past year. They are ideas, yes, not literal physical diseases, but the analogy holds up. They are infectious, and often spread from person to person without anyone involved realizing they have it. They can sit latent for years, never showing up because the carrier never finds themselves in a situation where the issue comes up, only to flare up and take over when you least expect it. And they mutate, just like the flu, just like the common cold; they put on a new jacket every year and slide in undetected yet again, slip past our internal sensors and bury themselves in our brains until we go in and deal with them as best as we can.

One more thing we've learned about viruses this year is how we can fight them. The viruses of oppression are a little different because they tend to hurt the people around their carriers even more than the people they've infected (although let's talk about internalized anything-ism sometime), but in a lot of ways the attack is the same. You treat the symptoms even when you don't know how to cure the disease: we invest in respirators, antiviral treatments, hospitals; we create and sponsor programs to help those who've been hurt by various oppressions, we uplift our neighbors, we try to keep people safe from violences both big and small. You work to stop the spread: we wear our goddamn masks, we stay home when we can; we train ourselves not to say racist shit that might foster a culture of hate, we stop that guy in our office from making rape jokes, we make slurs unacceptable. You pay attention to your immune system: we seek medical attention when we experience symptoms, we get COVID tests, we talk to our doctors before the symptoms get deadly; we protest and we pay attention to the people who do, we take them seriously when they tell us that something is wrong.

You vaccinate. We train ourselves and our immune systems to recognize the thing that infects us, the thing that we fear. We try to teach our children about history, bit by little bit, on fragments of dead violence the same way we train our bodies on dead virus shells, so that someday they'll recognize the live disease when they see it. We learn about slavery and Jim Crow and the Holocaust. We tell kids bedtime stories about why hitting and bullying is bad, before we ever start teaching them the specific shapes that violence so often takes. As we get older, as we get stronger, we learn about the living stuff, all the new forms that same old virus has mutated into; we educate ourselves, we listen, we read. Just like vaccines, of course, there are anti-vaxxers and denialists shouting about how racism and sexism are already dead and they don't need any propoganda besides Fox News. Hell, just like anti-maskers, there are plenty of people screaming about how political correctness is ruining the world and they demand their right to spread their virus to anyone they can. Often these are the same people.

But we try. And make no mistake, we all of us are already infected, and just like a real virus, once you've caught it once it probably won't ever go away again--but we can prepare, and we can try to lessen the severity of our cases, and we can support our immune systems of activists and protesters and our own internal sense of this is wrong, and we can work, bit by bit, if not towards eradication (not yet, not in this world, but maybe someday in another), then at least towards control.

And then there's allergies.

An allergy is what happens when a human body's own immune system freaks out over an enemy that wasn't particularly harmful in the first place. All our immune defenses--those precious immune defenses, which work so hard to protect us against all those viral, deadly ideas--go screaming into high gear. All of that fear and fury and attack power gets brought to bear all at once, against a bit of pollen or bee venom or cat dander or peanuts, and your body is left itchy and runny-nosed and gasping--sometimes literally--as it tries to keep up. Allergies are miserable. Sometimes they're life-threatening. And the biggest danger isn't the foreign agent that triggers the allergic reaction; it's the immune system trying to fight it in the first place.

Which, yes, brings us to anti culture--but not JUST anti culture. It's a good example, a little internet-centric microcosm of the same force that drives progressives to tear bloody shreds out of moderate liberal politicians. Hell, it's the same force that enables both TERFs and the Capitol rioters. It's a combination of an immune system that points in the wrong direction, flagging the wrong thing as bad, terrifying, danger, NO, and a freaked-out response that can manifest as anything from mildly irritating to absolutely deadly.

To be clear, I am not by any means equating the scale or even the source of these things, any more than hayfever is the same as anaphylactic shock. Likewise, the sources are different. Sometimes, a disease can infect an immune system and point it in the wrong direction. (Terror of the other is the absolute cornerstone of white nationalism, and when that terror gets triggered by a harmless environmental condition like, god forbid, other people asking for rights, the allergy response can be deadly.) Other times, it's the other way around. Our internal immune systems, so well trained to protect ourselves and those around us from the insidious viral ravages of prejudice and oppression, start seeing traces of it everywhere.

And they freak out. And we suffer for it.

We talk a lot of well-deserved shit about TERFs, but it's useful to remember how much their nastiness feels to them like activism. Their immune system, trained and primed and sensitized over years of exposure to misogyny and sexism, catches the tiniest whiff of something that might seem at some point to have possibly been taken for male, and freaks out, because why is that trying to get into our system. Never mind that they're wrong. An immune system that flips out over penicillin is wrong, too. It's still trying to help, and it's still doing more harm than good trying it.

So bringing this back around to anti culture, which was absolutely where I started thinking about all of this this morning: anti culture, the terror of porn and the attempt by antis to protect themselves an other people from sexual content, is an immune response. It is a trained immune response, in people who have been taught and re-taught again and again that rape culture is a dangerous insidious virus that should be fought at all costs. And, right, there's more than a bit of 'the sexism virus infected this immune system and reprogrammed it to fight itself' involved here, but look, we are all of us infected with all of the viruses at least a little bit everywhere. If we tried to direct our immune systems to rip every last shred of -ism out of every last bit of us, we'd rip ourselves apart. Which is exactly the problem.

Porn, in and of itself, is natural. As natural as environmental pollen, and living near dogs and cats, and eating wheat or nuts or citrus fruit. It's even healthy, for a whole host of reasons that belong in another essay. And citric acid and nut-based proteins and whole grains are nutritious, and pets are physically and psychologically helpful, and being exposed to lots of different environmental substances as a child can actually help train your immune system in the first place. Porn can help us figure out what we like. It can help us figure out what we don't like. And while the processes that create it are sometimes unethical and awful, we don't condemn all dogs because puppy mills and dogfighting rings exist, even if we do have dog allergies.

What we see in anti culture is often a good-faith attempt on the part of antis to attack and subdue an environmental trigger that they read as dangerous. It's a panic attack over something that is by nature harmless or mildly harmful, blown out of proportion by the very instincts that are supposed to keep us safe. It's the response of an immune system that's been taught over years and years, by everyone from parents to school systems to the activists they look up to, that negative stimulus is to be feared, avoided, and fought. Of COURSE they're going to freak out.

And of course, early exposure to controlled amounts of allergens can help prevent later allergies from developing. Of course when kids are raised with abstinence-only education, sheltered from the very concept of sex, they're going to grow up allergic to it. (Of course they're going to try to protect other kids from the same, like worried mothers who refuse to let peanuts or wheat products or dirt near their precious babies, whose kids grow up with a whole suite of allergic triggers because their bodies never learned what was okay in the first place.) And no, that doesn't mean we hand pornography to ten-year-olds any more than we should give raw honey to an infant--but of course if our culture refuses to introduce kids to the fact that sex and desire and the inside of their own brain can be messy and silly and kinky and downright weird, we're going to have a higher rate of allergic reaction to the entire concept in adults.

I wish I had a better answer for what to do with understanding that this is what's going through so many people's brains. The best I have is a prescription for allergy-sufferers, who probably haven't read this far through this wordspew of an essay in the first place--but we all get a little hayfever once in a while, and we all sometimes run into content that makes us angry. So some thoughts on how to deal with metaphorical allergic reactions, inspired by the ways we deal with literal ones?

First: we recognize that what is happening is an allergy. The thing we're reacting to might be gross, or irritating, or even unpleasant, but the danger is not and never has been the thing itself. Whether it's triggering a response because of its similarity to an actively dangerous pathogen, or our immune system just doesn't like it, our aversion to one kind of story or another universally says more about us than about it. Luckily, we have a lot more control over our social responses than our biological ones!!! If vocal activism is our sociocultural immune system firing itself up to fight an infection that may or may not exist, then we get to tell our metaphorical white blood cells to stand down. We get to decide.

Second: we get some space. The funny thing about allergies is, while early exposure to allergens can help prevent them, re-exposing yourself to dangerous allergens after you've already developed a reaction to them can make them worse. Anaphylaxis is always more likely after someone's experienced it the first time. Repeated exposure to triggers, whether biological or psychological, can make the effects worse. So stop exposing yourself.

If something makes your throat itch every time you eat it, stop eating it. If something makes you mad every time you read it, stop reading it. Obviously this can be easier said than done in a world that's a lot worse about warning labels on stories than ingredients labels on foods, but that's why fic tags exist. And: sometimes, the croissant is delicious enough that we decide we're willing to suffer through the way the almonds make us feel, just this once. Sometimes the ship or the characterization or, hell, those other kinks that we really like are tasty enough that we'll put up with the trope we hate. We're allowed to do that. But we do it knowing there will be consequences, and we don't blame the baker when they hit.

We also don't have to blame ourselves. It sucks to be allergic to shellfish when all your friends are raving about the new seafood place. But that's not our fault any more than it's theirs.

Third: sometimes, if we need one, we go to the doctor. Or a therapist. Yes, really.

Not because there's anything really wrong with an aversion or even mild breakouts of hives, annoyance, and bitching in your friends' DMs--but it sure isn't pleasant, and sometimes your doctor might have a better solution than 'avoid it and take a Benadryl' that makes you feel a little better in the long run. And sometimes, it's not a mild breakout. Sometimes it's the kind of story that lingers with you for days, makes your skin crawl; sometimes your throat swells up and it gets hard to breathe. Sometimes we get angry enough about something we've read that we can't stand down our immune system, don't want to stop ourselves from writing that angry comment, that tumblr post, that abuse report to the mods for something that didn't actually break any rules. And that's dangerous, because when our immune response can flare out of control like that, we don't always know where and when it will happen next, and the risk of what we'll do if it happens gets way, way higher.

Sometimes it really is worth getting a second opinion. Sometimes you need somebody to tell you, "actually, it is not normal to get tingly and sweaty every time you eat potatoes." There are ways to train your brain and leash your white blood cells that I sure as heck am not expert enough to address. There are, it turns out, ways to feel better. There are ways to mitigate the damage your own well-meaning defense mechanisms might do to yourself or other people along the way.

And: we can take a deep breath when someone with an allergy to something we've baked, something we've written, something we like, is lashing out trying to protect themselves and everyone around them from something they've registered as a threat. Of course they're wrong. Yes, we told them there were tree nuts in the brownies ahead of time; yes, they chose to eat them anyway. But it can be worth reminding them and ourselves that there's a difference between "this thing is toxic" and "this harmless thing has driven my own system into a defensive response that sure makes it feel like I've been poisoned." And it can be worth reminding ourselves as well as them that sometimes, that difference can be really hard to spot.

[levihantrash]

new chapter update!

Summary:

Levi’s pragmatism pulled the brakes. “I’m not about to dedicate my life to become a broke comic artist.”

Levi Ackerman, a gruff cleaner with an appetite for toilet humour meets the unabashedly friendly creative writing professor, Hange Zoë, who somehow ropes Levi into working on a comic with them. While the comic’s title remains undecided, Hange knows that it’s going to be set in a world where giant, human-like creatures devour other humans. Erwin Smith, the comic’s self-appointed editor, unironically thinks it’s going to be a hit. All Levi knows is that he wants to indulge in drawing this comic while hanging out with a certain writer who just won’t stop talking to him.

Where Hange, Levi, and Erwin are the creators of Attack on Titan.

Chapter 1: Free Bread

Chapter 2: New Friends

Like routine, Levi found himself waiting for a certain professor to show up. When Erwin called out to him, he couldn’t help but search behind the tall, imposing figure.

“I haven’t seen Hange this morning either,” Erwin said. Levi found himself irritated by Erwin’s discernment and by his own discrete uneasiness.

“Good morning, Erwin,” Levi greeted, nonetheless.

Hange was late, which Levi figured wouldn’t be out of the ordinary.

The morning passed without a single sign of Hange.

“Sorry, are you Mr. Levi?” A nervous-looking person approached him, holding on to a well-wrapped steamed bun. A twinge of hope stirred in Levi.

“Levi will do,” he said.

“Dr. Hange said I should pass you this,” the bread-holder blurted out.

Levi’s gaze softened. “Where’s Hange?”

“Oh! She’s rushing a deadline and insisted that I pass you this bread.”

The inexplicable rush of relief made Levi dizzy as he grasped the bread limply. “Huh. Sorry that you have to be an errand boy today.”

“It’s no trouble!”

“Who are you?”

“Sorry! I didn’t introduce myself! I’m Moblit, their teaching assistant! Dr. Hange helps me out with my master’s thesis because they’re my advisor. This is just my way of saying thanks. Dr. Hange also treats me to meals, gives me detailed comments for my work… though they might go overboard when it comes to giving speeches about the importance of world-building and honing your craft, it’s inspiring how dedicated they are in what they do.”

Moblit took a deep breath, making up for lost air in between the lengthy, whole-hearted sentences.

“Is that so…” Levi said, suddenly contemplative. “Do you want some tea?”

“Are you getting it from the staff pantry?”

“No, that stuff’s stale as shit. I have better tea, wait here.”

Levi recalled Erwin asking him in front of everyone in the staffroom if he wanted the staffroom snacks. Hange followed up, speaking at a volume that was clear enough for most of the staff to overhear, orchestrating a deliberate conversation with Erwin.

“Since there are no hard rules as to who the snacks and drinks are catered for, and technically, Levi is a staff member, he should have access to the snacks!”

None of the professors objected. It was probably because open prejudice would be socially unacceptable, Levi thought.

Begrudgingly, he accepted Erwin’s offer, and in full view of everyone, took a candy bar.

Hange gasped. “Just one?” Levi glared at them.

“Aren’t the snacks for your little sister?” Hange asked. He nodded, sensing the collective spike in sympathy for him in the staffroom.

After the whole stage, the trio huddled conspicuously in a corner outside the staffroom.

Hange whispered to Levi, “You could have played along better!”

“Erwin’s tired of your skit,” Levi said, overwhelmed and annoyed at the turn of events.

“No he’s not!” Hange said sternly, before gulping down half a bottle of water.

Erwin, standing in between them, told Hange to keep it down.

“Thanks, you two.” Levi found himself staring at the floor, embarrassed that his two friends had to construe him as a pitiful character for him to get a few snacks, even though he had been informed of the plan prior.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” Hange said, their lips compressed into a hard, grim line. “It’s ridiculous that you can’t even get snacks and refreshments as part of the staff.”

“I’m used to it.”

“If anyone’s giving you a hard time, you have us,” Hange said, still put off.

They squared their shoulders impressively. “Right Erwin?”

“You can rely on us, Levi,” Erwin surmised, equally sombre.

Growing more ruffled by their declarations, Levi hissed, “I don’t need two bodyguards.”

“No, you definitely don’t,” Hange joked. “Some people have told me about the deathly aura you emit that I must have missed…”

Fixing their attention at a vague distance, Hange’s playful jibes dwindled into an idle pondering, “I wonder if you found some joy in our companionship at least.”

They’re talking about joy and friendship again… Levi thought.

He found himself back in the present, handing a cup of black tea to Moblit, guiding him towards a bench.

Moblit squeaked out, “Thank you!”

“How did you find me?” Levi asked, betraying none of his real curiosity.

“Hange gave me a description…” Moblit began, not making eye contact with Levi.

“Did they? What’s the description?” Knowing Hange’s brand of humour, Levi braced himself.

Moblit shuffled in his seat, terribly reluctant. “They said to look out for a cold, black-haired man with an undercut, wearing an apron, gloves and brandishing a mop while scolding people to not step on wet floors.” Levi made a mental note to strangle Hange.

Moblit quickly supplemented, “You’re not actually cold though!”

“How would you know that?”

“Um… you’re offering me tea?”

Levi clicked his tongue. “That’s a low bar for human decency. You should have higher standards.”

“You’re right, Mr. Levi… I mean Levi.”

Levi noted Moblit’s jittery manner when he briefly checked his phone for a message and let out a small groan.

“Hey, you look worried sick. You didn’t receive a death threat, did you?”

Moblit laughed weakly, running his hand through his hair. “Uh, you see, I’m one of the editors for the bi-annual literary magazine and we’ve been looking for illustrators…”

“I take it that you haven’t been successful?”

“Yes… I just received someone’s rejection. It’s okay, we’ll find one,” Moblit said, although his panicked lip-biting ran contradictory to his optimistic statement. Levi’s hands twitched again. He folded them promptly into his apron pockets.

Upon finishing the tea, Moblit stood up and gave a tiny, polite bow. “It was nice meeting you Levi. Thanks for listening and for the tea!”

“Good luck,” Levi said, in time before Moblit rushed off.

Bagging up the rubbish, Levi heaved the load on his shoulder easily, only to be startled by the appearance of Hange.

“Fuck! Can you stop jumping out of nowhere?” Though momentarily disconcerted, the tension built up from the day unwound instantaneously, leaving his body loose and feeble.

“Levi! Did you shit yourself?” Hange sang. They accidentally bumped into the gigantic rubbish bag, falling butt-first onto the ground, phone in hand.

“Be careful,” Levi said, in the same monotonous voice he used regardless of the situation. Unless the situation involved Hange leaping out of nowhere. He looped his free arm under their armpit to pull them back up. Hange, flushed from running, placed their phone in his hands with ill-contained excitement.

“Look at what I found!”

“Oi, what’s this—” Levi scanned the phone, his mouth running dry.

“I’m going to recruit this artist. For my comic.”

It was a sketch of a cat being patted by a person with messy, tied-up hair, their hands stroking its head.

“Don’t you think the person looks familiar? Isn’t the cat cute… remember how I told you I have one at home?” Hange released their brown hair from a voluminous ponytail, biting the rubber band in their mouth.

He swallowed. “I drew that.”

Hange’s mouth hung open. “You’re kidding!”

“Do I look like I make such shit jokes?”

“Personally, I find your shitty jokes very funny. This is exciting news! Why didn’t you tell me you’re an artist when I was trying to find one for my comic?”

Levi found her question preposterous. “You could easily find a better one. I’m inexperienced.”

“I’m also an inexperienced writer. I barely wrote one book and a few articles!”

“You’re a professor. You have the title for a reason. I just draw for fun.”

Hange spared him a baffled look. “Please. You have no idea how many great writers never become professors. And how some professors never write great books. I thought you of all people would know that a title doesn’t mean anything.”

“I thought you of all people would know that titles hold their value here, even if we think they’re stupid and don’t mean shit.”

“I know that, Levi. I’m saying, drawing for fun doesn’t make you inexperienced or unworthy of being the artist for my comic. Besides, I chose you before I even knew it was you!” Hange said triumphantly.

Locking the phone screen, Levi reiterated, “I draw for fun.”

“Then this will be our fun project!”

Levi’s pragmatism pulled the brakes. “I’m not about to dedicate my life to become a broke comic artist.”

“You won’t be broke.” Erwin slipped into their conversation as though he had always been there. It was uncanny.

“What do you mean?” Levi stared questioningly at Erwin.

“You’ll be paid for your work, Levi. Hange as well,” Erwin said simply.

“You’re paying us?” Hange and Levi asked, in unison. One, in disbelief, and the other, in delight.

“A publisher will be paying you. I’ve secured funding.”

Levi gritted his teeth. “A publisher wants to sponsor a comic that hasn’t even been written?”

“I told you, Levi,” Hange interrupted. “I’ve already submitted a draft!”

“Yes,” Erwin said.

Levi had so many questions. “How?”

“Because it’s a good story.”

“Did you bribe them? Threaten them?”

“It is a risk,” Erwin admitted.

“It’s a fucking gamble,” Levi emphasised. “Don’t know why you’re so invested in this comic.”

Hange had other worries. “Levi, did you think I wasn’t going to pay you?”

Levi hesitated. “I don’t know. Isn’t this just a fun side-project?”

Hange’s face came closer to his. With the enhanced proximity, Levi stopped breathing altogether. Their face was deadly solemn.

“Listen, Levi, creating art is hard work. Your hard work. Any artist deserves to be paid. It’s not because our relationship is transactional. It’s because it’s only right.”

Erwin added, “We’re not going to accept your art for free.”

Pushing Hange back firmly with his hands on their shoulders, Levi argued, “Plenty of people have access to my art online for free.”

“That’s your choice. We insist.” Hange grinned. “And we think we deserve to be paid too. Even I’m surprised that my project has early compensation.”

Part of Levi’s resolve ebbed away. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good enough for me!”

“First, you have to tell me what your story is.” Levi gathered up the last of his self-respect. “And if we’re going to be working together, I’ll need your number.”

Erwin raised an innocent eyebrow. “Wouldn’t you need mine too?”

“Stop teasing him, Erwin,” Hange said, grabbing the rubbish bag from Levi, struggling to balance its weight over their shoulders.

Just as Levi felt a shred of gratitude, Hange remarked, “What if he doesn’t agree to do the comic together?”

Patience running thin, Levi stomped on both their feet in a fit of unrestraint that diverged from his unaffected demeanour.

Eyes twinkling, Hange couldn’t help but feel immense glee at the prospect of working with Levi. What was probably Levi’s withheld strength made them certain that he only wanted to dirty their shoes, not bruise their toes. Like Hange would care about the cleanliness of their battered sneakers.

In front of an ordinary apartment door, Hange dug into the depths of their bag to fish out a ring of keys. The size of the ring was unprecedentedly big; the choice of keychain most definitely random, a freebie handed out to new staff that blatantly displayed the university’s name.

Without that much bribery of tea, bread, and friendship, Levi found himself standing beside Hange as they busied themselves in finding the key to their apartment. Erwin had bailed due to having another Important Meeting with Important People, even during a weekend, but encouraged Hange and Levi to take time to discuss the comic.

Hange hadn’t expected Levi to agree so readily to kickstarting the project, and with the generous reception Levi gave (a curt nod and a follow-up question), they thought it’d be best if they invited him over to their apartment. Just so he wouldn’t mistake Hange as a mere business partner. Now that would be upsetting.

Hange pushed the ludicrous speculation out of their head. Levi was first and foremost, a good friend. His bored appearance revealed glimpses of surprise, satisfaction, moodiness, and suspicion. Hange held on to these pieces with the determination to collect them all. Surely, Levi must have figured them out by now. This endless, unabashed interest Hange had taken in him.

“Why are we meeting at your place? Do you need to take a huge shit? Does the toilet at home have a better flush?”

Although Levi had no qualms about visiting Hange’s apartment, he found it unnerving to have a work discussion in someone’s living quarters. It felt too intimate, too casual. He wasn’t sure if he could handle being sucked in further into Hange’s life. They asked so many questions, yet barely answered any about themselves.

Whether intentionally or not, Hange was someone shrouded in mystery to Levi. He couldn’t ask questions either—he wouldn’t—because he was unaccustomed to expressing himself in front of people. More than that, he could envision Hange’s sharp wit poking a clean hole through his muted facade. “You’re interested in my life, Levi?” Damn that four-eyes for being so perceptive. Or was he so easy to read?

“It’s more fun,” Hange said, eventually stuffing the correct key into the keyhole, a smooth click welcoming them. “Plus, I want to introduce you to my friends! Part of the reason why I took up the position at this university.”

“Friends?” Levi asked, slipping out of his shoes to step into the apartment.

“Hange!” A voice rang, and Hange was wrapped in a hug.

“Onyankopon! I saw you yesterday—”

“Three days ago, to be exact, since you always sleep over on the lovely desk at the university.” A smooth voice entered, coming from a woman standing comfortably against the wall.

As the tallest body let go of Hange, it allowed Levi to take in the congenial features of a man whose shoulders rivalled Erwin’s towering, well-built stature. While Erwin’s smile was measuredly cordial, Onyankopon’s was candidly sincere. Watching Hange and Onyankopon, Levi felt as though he were intruding into a family reunion that had invited the entire neighbourhood. Here, he was the guest who came for the free flow of food and drinks.

“I’ve missed you too Pieck!” The woman named Pieck ruffled Hange’s hair, offering them an embrace.

Hange pulled Levi by the elbow, pointing to the new people. “Meet my roommates and college friends, Onyankopon and Pieck!”

“Hi,” Levi said, uncertain as to what else he could affix his terse greeting with. Hange resolved that predicament for him, going into further details about their friends.

“Onyankopon is a researcher and engineer! I can’t tell you the technical specifics of what he does, though, I always get them wrong. Oh, and he’s religious, but he won’t try to convert you.” Onyankopon nodded, affirming Hange’s unflattering introduction.

“Pieck… Pieck is a gardener, florist, and avid gamer! That’s why she’s always bent over, whether it’s tending to her plants or her high score in front of the monitor.”

“It’s not why I need the crutches though,” Pieck said. Hange squeezed her shoulders in response.

“Seems like my friends are all nerdy. Maybe that’s why I like them?” A sheepish smile graced Hange’s lips.

Onyankopon gestured towards Hange, imitating their dramatic flourish. “And this is Hange Zoe, the nerdiest of them all. Obsessed with words. Recently obsessed with science fiction. They’re always reading or writing, and once they start on something, their butt doesn’t leave the chair.”

Levi’s eyes flitted around the apartment—it was relatively tidy, with a couple of framed photos and artworks. A blanket on the couch made it homely enough. His inspection didn’t miss Hange’s notice.

“Like what you see?”

“It’s neat,” he replied.

“That’s a compliment!” Hange took care to disclose this to their two friends.

“All your previous partners don’t take off their shoes, Hange. I hope he isn’t one of those.” Pieck said, using their crutch to relocate Hange’s haphazard shoes to a corner, flipping them the right side up. Levi liked her already.

“That’s gross,” Levi said apathetically, wiping away the horrifying image of dirt-smeared carpets and tiles creeping into his consciousness.

“He’s very clean, don’t worry,” Hange said easily. “Some might even say it’s his obsession.”

“I’m the cleaner at the university.” Onyankopon and Pieck turned towards Hange with patented disapproval.

“Levi, you know that’s not what I meant.”

“I think we’ll make good friends,” Pieck said, bemused.

Hange beamed at Levi. “You’ll love Pieck! She’s really quiet most of the time, just like you. Not to mention she pretends that she hates me. Just like you.”

“Good to know,” Levi said, enjoying the banter a bit too much.

“Hange says she’s going to get you to draw me, as a titan,” Pieck said, evidently sceptical.

“What’s a titan?”

“The giant, naked people I told you about, Levi! They’re called titans!”

“Why are they called titans?”

Hange landed on the sofa with a plop, patting the seat beside them for Levi to sit. “In Greek mythology, titans are immortal giant gods who were banished to the underground.”

Levi, who had little knowledge of Greek mythology, made a mental note to search for references online.

“Therefore, the titans are kind of like vengeful giant gods from the underground who have come to earth to wreak havoc on what the gods have built, which is human civilisation, basically.”

“Basically, I am wonderful enough to be titan-material,” Pieck drawled, propping their crutch at the side of the couch, sliding onto the cushions.

“A special titan that walks on all fours! Um, that’s the plan for now,” Hange said brightly.

Onyankopon, who had been content with listening, clapped his hands together in sudden realisation. “Hange, now that you’re finally home, you can take a shower.”

“I should, right?” Hange scratched their head, feeling the slickness of unwashed neglect.

Levi crinkled his nose as Hange reluctantly made their way to the bathroom. “That’s disgusting.”

“And here you are, still.” Pieck’s amiable statement prickled at his skin like a light warning before impending exposure.

“Hange must really want to make a good impression if they’re showering now,” Onyankopon said, chuckling to himself.

“It’s good to finally meet you.” Onyankopon pushed a newly made cup of tea towards Levi, with the steady confidence that could only come from having known prior that it was the beverage that Levi would desire. “Make yourself at home.”

Levi said his thanks, to the hospitality of two people he scarcely knew, and to Hange, who likely told them about the tea.

Cold water blasted them in the face, as Hange became cognizant of the necessity of showering more regularly. It wasn’t like they thrived in the dirt. Hypothetically, showering wasn’t that troublesome. The shower kept forgetting itself until it was three days later and Hange stank with regret and mild self-loathing. Still, the shower felt good, giving them new clarity about the fact that they had invited Levi into their inner social circle. How would he fare? Would he be uncomfortable? Hange massaged shampoo into their hair, recalling their conversation with Pieck and Onyankopon.

After much elaboration on adapting to a new university, their visits to an amazing bakery, and the fostering of daily encounters with new friends, Pieck had caught on that every other sentence from Hange contained a sliver of Levi-sized anecdotes. The new university was so much bigger than the one Pieck, Onyankopon, and Hange had attended together; it stretched endlessly, and Hange estimated that Levi would have walked 393700.7874 steps to clean just the faculty building. The bakery near the university was fragrant, its selection marvellous, and choosing a new bread for Levi every day was a tremendously delightful task. Moreover, Hange had met so many unique characters since getting to know the people in their faculty, people like Levi whose abhorrence for social etiquette was admirable, and with whom she was eager to share their mornings and lunches. Together with Erwin, of course.

Pieck let out a tinkle of a laugh at Hange’s obliviousness. “Why are you friends with Levi?”

Thinking hard, Hange answered, “I don’t know if he thinks of us as friends.”

“Well, friendship status aside, how’s he like?”

“He’s kind. He doesn’t sound like it, but he’s kind.”

“That’s nice. How’s he kind?”

Confusion coloured Hange’s usual confidence. “Hmm. It’s gut-feeling, I guess.”

“That’s unlike you, to rely solely on instincts,” Onyankopon said, stroking his chin. Hange was a person with an abundance of rationale, a reason for everything, with justification for any ideas. Their reasoning this time fell flat.

Pieck prodded on. “You said that he doesn’t sound kind. Then what does he sound like?”

“Grumpy, sarcastic, serious. He looks like he’s annoyed with everyone. Most people find him scary, I suppose? It’s like he wants people to think he’s an asshole.”

Pieck perked up. “Oh, so you’ve become enamoured with broody, misunderstood people who’re rough around the edges?”

“Pieck, come on, I’m not writing my own romantic trope! I don’t know… he’s a good person. I can tell. He doesn’t say much though.”

“You’re a mind-reader now?”

Hange ignored her. “His art… it’s so evocative. Melancholic. Hopeful. Angry.”

“What was the artwork you last saw of his?”

“A cat,” Hange said immediately.

Onyankopon brought Hange back to reality. “What about him? What do you like about him? Not his art.”

Hange pursed their lips. “Do good people need to prove themselves to show that they’re good?”

“There could be reasons as to why you’re so adamant about his golden character,” Onyankopon said.

“He’s reliable. And his shit jokes aren’t so bad once you get used to it.” Hange surprised themselves with that comment—Levi’s relentless toilet humour was infecting their brain. The corrosive force of the word “shitty” had already moulded itself permanently into their vocabulary.

Gazing up at the ceiling, Hange bent their arms behind their head. “It’s hard to find people to truly get along with.”

Onyankopon and Pieck shared a knowing look.

With their eyes trained to the white ceiling plaster, Hange mumbled on, “it would be nice if he’d talk more openly about what he’s feeling. It’s all guesswork and I’m afraid I’m constantly reading him wrong.”

“Maybe you should take your own advice…” Onyankopon said gently.

“But I do talk about my feelings!”

“Monologuing in your room and reposting vague lines of poetry and sending us memes to cope with your avoidance is not the same as talking about your feelings,” Pieck said, spending the subsequently long moment of silence to snip off a yellowed leaf from the potted Monstera deliciosa next to the kitchen counter.

“Wow.” Hange, for once, had nothing to muster.

Onyankopon’s approach was less incisive than Pieck’s. “You know, I don’t think you need a reason to be friends with someone. If he’s making you happy, I think it’s a good sign.”

“Thanks, Onyankopon,” Hange said gratefully.

“But Pieck’s right about you being deliberately evasive with your own emotions. Introspection shouldn’t be so strenuous, right? Don’t you write about your characters’ internal turmoil often?”

“It’s different when you’re reflecting for yourself,” Hange contended.

“We’ll see how Levi’s like anyway, when we meet him,” Pieck said, grabbing the scissors, going towards another deadened leaf.

“Don’t bully him!”

Another snip. Another leaf fell. “Isn’t he supposed to be scary?”

Hange smiled wryly. “But you two are scarier.”

[off-in-the-moors]

Joseph Kavinsky analysis, part 1

aka how did I get here and why is he the reason

Warnings: spoilers for the whole Raven Cycle, mentions of: drug-use, abuse, death, murder, homophobic slurs, xenophobia

Part 1 // Part 2

After finishing The Raven Cycle and analyzing every chapter, character and the overarching plot with my friend, we were left feeling empty. It's been few months, I kept looking-up more TRC related things, other people's opinions, look through fandom content and even read some post from the author's, now deleted, tumblr account, trying to find answers to why I'm feeling like this. Why the books seem to decline for me in quality as I kept reading? Why I can't see Ronan in the same light as the rest of the fandom? Why I couldn't like the author? And the answer was looking me in the eyes the whole time.

"Depending on where you began the story, it was about Joseph Kavinsky."

I loved his character from the moment we met him in The Dream Thieves and still think about him to this day. But why? In a way, Kavinsky is too familiar to me, from his attitude, through appearance to his voice. It’s like I knew him, and this isn’t surprising. I met/saw Kavinskys on the streets, I know Kavinskys, and I was a Kavinsky once in my life. Although I'm the opposed to him, I still sympathies with him and understand how it feels to be in dark places in your life. And I'm not the only one, many people adore him and don't deny his actions to be terrible. But on the other side, the majority of fans hates him and titles him "the worst/most evil antagonist of the series". But why? What about K makes him so polarizing? The simple answer is: the way he was presented and the function he played in the plot. Even then, K's whole arc in TDT was handled horribly and damaged the way readers will view, not only people like K but also themselves. This and also future posts, I’ll be analyzing everything relied to K, including his treatment after book's release by the author and what some deleted scenes and unused ending can shine on.

This is part 1 of a series of posts to come.

This part is about the narrative and characters views of Kavinsky.

Narrative and characters

Narrative is a powerful tool of telling a story, well crafted and coupled with character's internal-voice makes the reader view the story under different light. In a PoV of one character, one thing might bring-up different emotions and ideas, than the others. Exploring relationships and events differ, because everybody experience it differently. But problem begins when the narrative forces a reader to a opinion, without backing it up with reasons or giving a opposing one. In case of Joseph Kavinsky, before we properly meet him, we are told by the characters to hate him and the narrative backs them up in reasons to hate him. All the reasons given to us at that time, boil down to "I heard a rumor."

Gansey hates him, because "There was nothing about Kavinsky that wasn’t despicable" and "he thinks life is a music video". He doesn't want Ronan to associated with him, which is connected with him covering and getting Ronan's ass for the mess he made, having him project his anger and frustration he has with Ronan on to K, who part-takes in the same activities and probably with Ronan, is understandable. But I didn't expect much from a guy who: payed the school officials so they won't kick Ronan out; insulted Adam and throw Adam’s abuse at his face, just to instant of apologizing to him, make a pity party for himself (also having Adam apologies to Gansey for his rightful outburst isn't okay), is fine with having a romantic relationship with Blue while she's still with Adam, hurting him even further but makes it all about himself, etc. Him hating K, just because of his lifestyle, made sense. But were the line was crossed, was when he started to decide on other people's worth. Lines like "we matter" (on which I'll extend later in the post) or "Ronan is fixable and has a soul [Kavinsky doesn't]", were used not only to show what Gansey himself thinks of K (he isn't a human being to him), but also demonize K and make the reader not consider him an equal to the Gangsey (a teenage).

Blue hates him, because he's yet another Raven Boy. Her hatred comes mostly from her distance for them, rich boys with privilege to which Gansey gang is an exception (although two out of four are exactly the kind she hates, and she told Noah directly she wouldn't be friends with him if he was alive) (There can be made a whole post about Blue's hypocrites regarding Raven Boys, but this isn't it). She also talks about how she doesn't feel comfortable around K and "if she couldn’t forgive Kavinsky for always managing to make her feel so insignificant", which makes sense. But while describing him, she calls him "a import from somewhere else", not only lessening him as a person but also making a xenophobic comment, noting his long nose as one of the factors (you could say, she meant him being from New Jersey, but you don't "import" stuff from inside a country, you only "import" from abroad and K is Bulgarian, doesn't matter if he's an immigrant or just has Bulgarian roots). Later, while discussing what to do with K draining the ley lines, Greyman offers to talk to him, to which Blue asks him "can you make him feel worthless while you do?”. Yes, she asked a hit-man, who killed not only Niall Lynch but also multiple people (including three on pages, which was described in the case of the ones breaking into Montmouth) for money. (Yes, fans say it's fine he murdered Niall, because he was a dick and horrible father, but what we forget is that it wasn't a fast death. It was slow and brutal, having him bludgeoned to send a message to Declan. No "he was a weapon in Greenmatle's hand" can excuse it.). Plus, he beat-up and threatened Declan with a gun if he doesn't give him the Greywaren. "Making him feel worthless" can only mean the worst. Kavinsky was a asshole, but he didn't deserved that. Also Blue gives the idea to give Kavisnky to the Greyman instant of Ronan, which was shot down, but not because it's horrible, inhuman and they can't decide on someone else's life, but because they think Greenmantle's people will come back also for Ronan. They were ok, with K being basically a scapegoat so Ronan will live.

Adam just "hates that prick" and "looked at the table with a studied disinterest" when K approached their table at Nino's, those are his only interaction in anything Kavinsky related (In a part regarding the "original" ending, we'll see it wasn't always the case.).

Noah barely exists in the series after The Raven Boys and never comes in contact with K or gives any opinion on him, outside of "ducked his head down into his shoulders, but couldn't take his eyes off the newcomer".

Ronan's relation with K could be its own post all together and there already are some good post about it, but for this one, I'll only mention few things. He gives us a very "I hate him but I'm into this lifestyle" attitude. He races against K but doesn't want to have anything to do with him or he's "dogs". (Yes, Dream Packs canon name is "Kavinsky's pack of dogs" as Ronan calls them. Ironically, Ronan gets angry then Declan and K called him "Gansey's dog" but is fine when Gansey calls him "his dog".) He never thanked or acknowledged K saved his life from the Night Horror. He accepted K's help in dreaming-up the new Pig but afterwords ditches him without even a slit gratefulness (his motivation being remembering Gansey's words), and mocks that K thought there could be anything between them (friendship or relationship, it dependents how you interpret it), turning this into just using K to get what he wanted. And yes, what K did while Ronan slept (tracing Ronan's back tattoo with his finger) was unacceptable, if it really happened and wasn't just phantom-touch while falling asleep (if it was real, it can be interpreted as K acting out of his internalized homophobia, letting himself a moment of “curiosity”, but it still wouldn't make it fine).

Ronan and K insult one-another multiple times through-out the story but the difference is quite showing. K's insults are mostly homophobic, calling Ronan a "fag" or implying Ronan and Gansey are together. This is a typical teenage insults, but are also showing of K's internalized homophobia if viewed through "Don’t say Dick Gansey, man. Do not say it. He is never going to be with you. And don’t me tell you don’t swing that way, man. I’m in your head." and "It's a bomb. Just like you." scenes.

But Ronan, excepting the typical insults like "ball-sack", goes after who K is. "Bulgarian mobster Jersey trash piece of shit" or "Russian" (to the latter, K responded "Hey now, let's not make this ugly") are personal, referring not only to from where K's from, implying he's a mobster like his father and just calling him "a waste". Unfortunately, K's whole character is already one big stereotype of Slavs as viewed not only by Americans. But insulting someone for being "Bulgarian", something they had no control over, is xenophobic. (And for "Russian", as a Slav myself, let me tell you. Calling a non-Russian Slav "Russian" is a quick way to get on their bad side.) And if you're like "Ronan isn't xenophobic, because he's Irish" or "Maggie isn't xenophobic, because Ronan...", you have no idea how things work in Europe. This is the same argument as "He can't be racist, because he's black". TRC fandom is always ready to bring-up all K's sins and even enlarge them, but when in comes to Ronan, all his sins are either forgotten or excused.

One more thing I want to touch on is one of K's parties. After Monmouth got broken into by people looking for Greywaren (which Greyman broke into first), Gansey thinks it must be Kavinsky's doing, because of the fake ID left in front of the door. Him and Ronan go to K's party, he tells them, it's a substance party and asks where are theirs. As an answer, Ronan hits him in the face and throws through a car, just to show him his blooded knuckles with "This is your substance.". The rest is Gansey and Ronan not believing K, that he didn't trash their place, and a "different Gansey" throwing a Molotov cocktail at K's car. After that, they leave. But one thing isn't sitting right with me. The "This is your substance" is a beloved, may I say iconic, scene that is glorified by fans and cited as this "Ronan is so cool and K soo deserved it" thing.

Here's the thing. K is in full right. It's his party, on his rules. Gansey and Ronan just came from nowhere, probably for the first time, so the rule is stated for them. And Ronan's response? Physically assault K. Even if he's angry about the apartment, still he shouldn't just assault him. And Gansey does nothing. And one more thing: K never hits Ronan back. Not in next chapters, not at the end. Never.

Before the chapter ends, we get probably my most hated line from this book:

"Closing his eyes, Gansey leaned his head back on his seat, chin tilted up, throat green in the dash lights. There was still an unsafe sort of smile about his mouth — what a torment the possibility in that smile was — and he said, “There was never a time when that could’ve been you and me. You know the difference between us and Kavinsky? We matter."

We matter. And he doesn't. I could talk about this line and how damaging it is to people who see themselves in Kavinsky, but instant I'll say, why I hate it.

I have anxiety mixed with being introverted and back-in-the-day I felt isolated from my classmates, desperate for friends but only had toxic ones who dropped me so the popular girls would talk with them, just to be friends with me again after some time, bullied to the point of breaking multiple times, and hating myself for not fitting in, unable to connected with my peers in anyway. The line "we matter" echos my worst fear and thoughts from that time. "Everyone matter, you don't". I was too young to even have those thoughts, but they were always there. In the back of my head, like a recurring nightmare.

Just the idea, someone can say with confidence that someone, anyone, doesn't matter, makes me sick. No one has the inside to what's going on in someones life, to what thought are plaguing their head. Everyone's life matter and to say something like this in a book targeted to 12-18 year olds, who are at there most vulnerable stage, is not only irresponsible but enraging. Gansey is saying this about a guy his age, who is drug-addicted and self-destructive, because he doesn't like him and wants Ronan to stay away from. No one calls him out on it. Not Ronan, not the narrative. Nothing.

Until the kidnapping of Matthew and the paradox/question "did the tattoo tracing scene happened?", Kavinsky did nothing to earn hatred from the reader. He was living his life, being a stupid, reckless teenage boy with a power to get everything he wanted. Ask yourself a question: "If you had the power to pulled anything* from your dreams, wouldn't you go crazy with it? Maybe in a very selfish way?"

*  Throughout TRC and CDtH, we see no limit to what a dreamer can pull-out. From a pen or working car, living creatures (animals, copies of real people or purely made-up) to abstract things, like a word with power to animate the dead or an apocalypses.

Yes, K's dreaming drained the ley lines, causing Cabeswater to disappear. But did K knew about it? He knew that he needed to wait for it to recharge before dreaming more things and he did just that. The over-draining was cause by preparations for this Fourth of July party (dreaming many copies of his Mitsubishi) but same did Ronan’s dreaming (but Cabeswater acts as weird gatekeeper, so Ronan seems to be forgiven). But did he knew about Cabeswater? Or furthermore, Glendower? We can't confirm or deny it, but considering K isn't from Henrietta and probably is there only for school, he's there for about 2 years. Would he be interested in some random forest or some Welsh King, which just idea of him being in America is so far fetched to believe in?

No. All he was interested it, was parting and wasting himself away.

We don't get any other or opposing opinions on Kavinsky, only the ones given by Gangsey. They are the outsiders looking in, not having any inside, just rumors and their shallow observations/interactions. But we don't even get any "inside", not from other Raven Boys or even the Dream Pack (who are barely characters). After K's death, the only thing we get is Gangsey's not caring or being glad K's gone. Aglionby is silent and Henrietta, doesn't even acknowledge Fourth of July's Party even happened (but to be honest, the town feels like a theater stage than a living place). The only mentions about K that gives some idea someone noticed anything, was his name alongside Whelk’s and Dittley's in the newspaper at the end of BLLB (but this plot point is never mentioned again).

[erenthecoordinate]

Chapter 138: Dreams vs Reality

So I’ve sat down with my thoughts on ch138 for about a week analyzing Mikasa’s “vision” for character meta and its function to the plot. Needless to say there are polarizing opinions for obvious reasons- but I still feel the need to share my view bc I think it reveals a lot.

Disclaimer: I realize the issue with ship wars. I don’t intend to claim one thing or another; it’s entirely fair to interpret Eren’s feelings in many ways because that’s how this series works. I have no interest in arguing about it.  I’m only interested in the dream vs reality aspects of the chapter.

For the record, I’m working with two theories here and I emphasize THEORIES. It’s cool to disagree with parts or all of it! I do hope my words get you thinking at least a bit though!

The Butterfly Effect

In order to tackle these two theories, the theory of the “butterfly effect,” paths dividing into multiple timelines originating from one singular timeline depending on Eren’s choices, needs to be considered.  On first introduction to the Attack Titan’s abilities, Eren says that the holder can see future memories of its respectable owners.  Thanks to the Paths, Eren is able to communicate with previous holders, like Grisha, to commit acts that would lead him to obtaining the Attack and Founding Titans.  The Butterfly Effect would kick off the events that we’ve been following along in the story and imply that time exists in a circle, since the reason Eren gets the titans is because he was able to convince Grisha to do so by showing him selective memories.

The issue with this is in ch138, if Mikasa’s reality was actually a divergent timeline, if it really were the case Eren and Mikasa would run off together if she had confessed her feelings, there would be no way for Eren to convince his father to give him the Attack and Founding.  Therefore, they wouldn’t have even been in the outside world to run away to, Eren wouldn’t die of the titan curse, which is what happens in Mikasa’s ideal world.

It seems that he needs Paths specifically to communicate with Grisha.  It’s even possible he needs direct contact with royal blood to even see the memories, or else it was needed to trigger that ability for him to now do so more freely later.

Therefore, in this case, we can assume the butterfly effect is either debunked or functions differently than a domino reaction.

Paths exist in parallels – Mikasa’s Ideal is an alternative reality

We have confirmation from the storyboard of the chapter that this was meant to be Mikasa’s “ideal (world).”  Had she confessed her feelings to Eren, she would have suggested running away the night before Eren leaves his friends so that they can live Eren’s last 4 years in peace.  Obviously with the watering down of the Butterfly Effect, we see that it is impossible for this to happen, at least in the main timeline.  

Mikasa experiences a migraine when faced with the reality that Eren has to die in order to kill the “Founding Titan.”  She’s been experiencing these unexplainable headaches throughout the series during certain critical points of the plot that she personally experiences.  We can assume Eren has been lying about the Ackerman abilities in order to push Mikasa away from him, so that she would have less hesitation when she ultimately has to face him.  We don’t see Levi having these migraines when his own “host” Erwin cannot be protected from death.  Even Kenny doesn’t seem to experience or note these headaches when Uri is dying.  The only thing that is mentioned is the awakening power and inability to have their memories wiped or manipulated.

That said, it doesn’t seem to apply to Ackermans actually experiencing what the Founder can show them.  In this case, the theory of an alternate reality would be plausible if one with the Founder can access those other realities.  If Mikasa did experience another reality, it is because Eren who “controls” (or rather is lent power by) Ymir is able to bring her there. This would mean that timelines exist in parallel to each other and there are multiple alternative universes and realities, ones with Titans and ones without.  The headaches may be a result of a resistance that is likely due to showing Mikasa these realities during specific moments, ones with situations that align with other realities but aren’t explicitly converging at any point and her Ackerman blood trying to block that process from happening- with Ymir and Eren together, they are able to breakthrough that barrier.

Now you can interpret that Eren’s reason for bringing her there is to assure her that there is a reality where she suggests running away together and that she experiences that life with the assurance that she will stay with Eren as long as he lives.  She knows that this isn’t her own reality: “I think I shouldn’t be here.” Eren likely also brings her here to show that even with their peaceful life that the conflict still exists and that she still cannot save him.  After he dies, he wants her to detach herself from him, forget the memories, and to be free.

Whatever the reason, we can assume that the “cottage” Mikasa and Eren aren’t the main timeline Mikasa and Eren.  It wouldn’t make sense for the history and it wouldn’t align with their motivations throughout the story.  While the timeline of events up to that point are similar if not exact, their behaviors aren’t quite the ones we have been following.

I’ll explain further but in short to believe the above in genuine runs a high risk of presenting as “character assassination.”  In other words, “out of character.”  (Sorta)

Keeping this in mind, this potentially means that these “path” visits have been foreshadowed and even acted upon by Eren before this moment.  First off, we know that Eren foresaw the future of the Rumbling and “that sight” when touching Historia’s hand.  We also know he sees other moments in between via these future memories.  He is only limited in seeing the actual chain of events that gets to that point.

For years before he concedes to this future, he is adamant about finding literally any other solution that will not result in the Full Scale Rumbling.  When Kiyomi brings up even threatening the world with the Rumbling on top of sacrificing Historia, he rejects that offer, suggesting that they should consider other options.  When Hange says that Hizuru cannot  aid in getting other allies to help them, Eren is distraught by the failure of another plan.  However, he accepts going to Marley to survey the nation to seek opportunities for peaceful conversation.  Before their departure, Eren discusses the potential destruction of Paradis with Historia, saying that their options are to fight or run away- Historia, however, accepts the duties given to her.  Eren knows this option is unacceptable and with that nature he must go forth with Hange’s plan or commit the Rumbling (though of course he knows the latter is the future).  It’s the rescue of the little boy Ramzi that gives Eren the realization that the events are exactly how he saw them when receiving the future memories.  He actually considers leaving the boy behind to change that fate, but his nature, just like how he can’t accept the fate of Paradis to be destroyed, causes him to protect the boy.  Eren realizes that the future cannot be changed- because of fate and because of his nature.

He asks Mikasa the big question and receives her final answer.  This seems far fetched but when his friends arrive to interrupt the moment he says with disappointment that it was “perfect timing.”  Of course, this could also indicate the frustration of having this conversation interrupted with Mikasa, or that he no longer wanted to hear an elaboration because he didn’t expect anything to change, but with the future sight theory he could have foreseen his friends showing up at that precise moment; there isn’t a lot of evidence to say one way or another, but it’s worth considering since even Mikasa is confused when he says this, meaning that there is supposed to be focus on why he says this.  During the conference that proposes Eldian rights, after attendees and speakers insist that the real issue are the Paradisians and they should be ridden of, Eren leaves, now convinced that this is the path he has to take.  All other options are lost despite his begging, and he is sure there is no other way.

Everything seems to go just like Eren plans, including the time to meet up with Zeke; the only obstacle that he hadn’t foreseen was Reiner bringing reinforcements early.  Either these are events leading up to the same future that he did not see, or this is a different Path he exists on.

We see that he convinces Grisha to slaughter the Reiss family in order to get the Founding Titan when Zeke takes them on a “memory lane” trip.  With showing Grisha selective memories, his father decides to hand the titans to Eren just as he did in the “alpha” timeline.  He tells Zeke that he was able to “get to this point” thanks to Zeke, so now he is on the proper path.  Now the events are aligned where he does “see that sight” by contacting Ymir directly and activating the Rumbling.

How did he get to that path though?  Where does it start?  Is there a beginning at all?  Well, either Zeke had led them to a parallel path that was similar enough to show identical memories so to convince Eren that Grisha was brainwashing him—or Eren took advantage of a distracted Zeke to “path jump.”  It’s interesting that Zeke is the one leading them up until the end of the chapter when Eren is the one now pushing Zeke to get to the next memory.  The events up until Grisha gets to the Reiss Cave during the titan invasion occur according to the main timeline.  

At this point, Eren is aware that the future of this timeline is viable, one that he is most “like himself” because his behavior is consistent with his beliefs.  He was always fated to be this way, he always knew that he would never abandon Paradis so long as they were at risk.  He would never allow his friends to suffer that fate.  There was never a future for him to run away and live in the mountains living the rest of his life in isolation with Mikasa.  His very nature would never allow him to.

It is also possible that this foresight didn’t always come with the goal of flattening the entire earth- he would have foreseen the Rumbling not complete, he only ever mentions starting it and “that sight,” points in the manga that we have already seen.  He had the opportunity to prevent his friends from fighting by wiping their memories (save the Ackermans, but even they are just two people), but chose not to due to his ideologies, which he carried since he was a child.  In fact, he goads his friends to kill him.  He knows this is a future he is fated to have.  He expects Mikasa to kill him.  Expects that he must convince her to let go of her hesitation and end his life.  “You should let go of me.”  Why invade that path to tell her this if his goals are to destroy the world, unless he truly expects to stop her and the rest?  How could he foresee “see you later Eren” though as an end to his life?

This might be the answer to destroying the true Founding Titan since it now exists in their physical world as he acts as a vessel.  This might be the solution to eradicate the titans- “destroy this world.”  Disconnect Paths.  Stop the indefinite fate where he and his home perish by erasing the existence of Titans altogether.  Break fate.

It was (mostly) just a dream

The second running theory is that Mikasa really does just experience the moment of “going back to their home” as a dream.  We know she gets headaches at critical moments where she runs the risk of losing someone close to her—and this isn’t isolated to just Eren.  This happens when Carla dies and Armin is on the brink of death.  The dream ultimately is a coping mechanism, wishing for an ideal world where she can live with Eren in peace and isolation, instead of facing the inevitability that Eren must die.

Also the chapter’s title is “A Long Dream.”

Now I’m not claiming that Mikasa is suffering a delusion, because she is very much aware that this “reality” or “dream” isn’t real- just because she is lucid does not mean she thinks this a world that exists for her.  She’s very aware that this ideal world of hers is impossible and was never possible to begin with.  Her dream is a confrontation of the reality that even with an innocent Eren who just wants a peaceful life that it is not aligned with the nature she has watched develop.  As much as she wants to cling onto an innocent and idealized image of her loved one, she knows this isn’t who he is.  This isn’t who they are.

She knows that the world they live in is still with conflict- Eren reminds her of that.  She apologizes for bringing it up because that realization that they left to live in peace and potentially leave their homeland exposed with no alternative solution, simply giving in to the circumstances, is not who either of them are, and to hold onto that image of Eren is merely fabrication.  The entire dream functions as a metaphor.  But in every world, Eren will die, be in by her hands or the titan curse.

[This is alluded to in Lost Girls, another “alternative reality” story.]

It is only disrupted when Eren tells Mikasa to throw the scarf and forget about him because she deserves to be free.  He wears the titan markings of his Founding Titan.  At this point it’s implied that Eren is communicating through Pathways that connect to her dreams.  Remember, dreams (and nightmares) are a very prevalent subject brought up in the series alongside memories- it is possible that the Founder can infiltrate dreams to communicate much like it can bring Eldians to the Path realm.  Mikasa cannot be controlled because she is an Ackerman, but this doesn’t omit the possibility that she can still see differences in her dreams (or reality) if interfered by the Founding Titan.  Ymir allows this open line of communication with the knowledge Eren is convincing Mikasa to kill him.  To simmer down the emotional turmoil, he says that she must forget about him.  Of course, because Mikasa cannot be manipulated, she decides that while she must kill him, that his death is inevitable, she will not forget him.  And he will not die without her expressing her feelings.  That is her own willpower.

At this point, the dream is “shared” between the two because Eren is an active spectator.  When Mikasa says her final goodbye, her “see you later,” it isn’t the same dream as what it started as.  Which is why he is able to remember it in the first chapter.

Now, I say mostly a dream because it is possible that dreams themselves could create alternative realities if they haven’t existed before.  But even if that wasn’t the case, Eren still alludes to path jumping, so the series of events could have still led him to a path that would be able to infiltrate Mikasa’s coping dream, knowing that she would struggle to end his life, but that she needs to see him again and be assured that he wants her to move on with her life, and not to see this as a failure on her part- that her answer really would not have mattered so she should not regret her choices.  She is the one that has to kill him to get to this point.  He expects to die, he doesn’t stop her when she gets in the titan, he seems resigned to that fate.

The dream theory is shorter but I’m inclined to believe that is what really happened with perhaps some mixture of the “alternate realities” theory for the sake of the plot solving the issue of titans, as well as reverting the rest of the cast from their Pure Titan fate.  Getting rid of Paths (the Founding Titan and Eren) is a viable solution to both rid of the nightmare as well as give Ymir and Eren a new life without being enslaved by fate.  But that’s a big elaborate and perhaps too complex theory.  I’m only making sense of how the final chapter may wrap up.

Alternative Selves: Fabrication to Cope aka “Mikasa and Eren would not run away”

Regardless of either theory, we must come to the conclusion that the Mikasa and Eren in her dream, her ideal world, whatever it may really be, are not their main story selves.  In fact it is impossible both because it would break the timeline and because it would not align with their true selves, the ones we’ve been following along throughout the story.  It makes more sense for Mikasa to cope with this ideal of hers, but the moment she enters that vision, she knows that this is fake and that this Eren is an idealized version she created (or exists elsewhere and time).  To believe otherwise is not understanding who these characters truly are at their core.

Regardless of Eren’s feelings towards her, be it romantic, platonic, familial, his very nature, as he states himself, would never allow him to “not make a decision.”  He would never abandon the others he claims to love, the ones he wants them to live long lives, to wander in the dark without at least a warning of the impending doom ahead of them.  He gave his friends the freedom to fight.  He fights for the freedom of Eldia, protecting Paradis.  He could never accept a fate that would allow the massacre of his people, even if he must commit omnicide to prevent it.  Remember, this is the boy who saved a girl he never knew because her freedom was stolen.  This is the boy that defends his weak friend because he values how the other boy’s mind opens to doors to freedom- the boy that gave him the knowledge of the outside world that fueled his ambition to break down the case in the first place.  He doesn’t want to live a mundane life.  Especially not if his oppressed people are in danger.  This is the guy who has a superior officer who calls him a monster that will not submit to any cage anyone puts him in- he has the fire in his eyes to keep moving forward, to persevere against all odds. 

This is the man that would lay down his own life if it meant Paradis would be saved.  He would simply never choose the option to run away from that, not even dream about it.  

He knew he wanted to see that sight.  He was shown that image.  That is his ideal world.  His vision, his dream.  Which means he must fight and move forward.  Find a way to save his loved ones so they live long happy lives.

And, honestly, it’s inaccurate to call Mikasa selfish for her ideal life because while she would want to live alone with Eren by her side, when being reminded of the carnage that will take place and that they are not there to help, she submits that it is something neither of them could accept.  She might want to run away to have a peaceful life, but not with the knowledge there are consequences for doing so.  That there are people she would leave behind.  She wouldn’t leave them to that fate.  Her actions to stop Eren is evidence of that.

As much as she loves Eren, she has devotion to her homeland and her friends, too.  To run away would be uncharacteristic.  This is the girl who decided to fight when the boy who saved her was in danger.  This is the girl that chose to keep fighting even when her closest family, the one she loved, was “killed.”  She is the girl who threw the knife away and promised that she would never leave her friend behind.  She stays to fight for her home, Paradis, because it is her birthplace, she belongs here- she wouldn’t run if her home is in danger.

Which is why, to assume they are the real Mikasa and Eren in Mikasa’s “ideal world”, is utterly and completely misread.  That is not nor ever what their characters would lead to.  The idea of running away would be barely a flicker of a thought at most, but even then, it is uncharacteristic to act.  Unreal.  Just like their artificial selves in that “dream.”

It isn’t like Isayama didn’t allude to Mikasa and Eren separating.  He does so for Armin when they have clashing views on the world and their own selves- Armin being more “worldly” and explorative and Eren being more “self-focused” and personally ambitious.  Mikasa would sympathize more with Armin’s point of view, but her desire is to be by Eren’s side.

Isayama gives his opinion on Mikasa’s determination to be stuck to Eren the entire time.  It is a “pitiful” existence.  She is willing to even shoulder his burdens just so he could come home, that perhaps his emotional distress is the reason he is causing mass destruction.  She is desperate for this.  That is… not exactly productive of her character, or the plot.

However, he clarifies that this is his view on Mikasa’s course of direction.  Her ideal is to be with Eren forever.  It may not necessarily be entirely positive that she leaves him behind since deviation from that ideal isn’t guaranteed growth.  Isayama has a habit of allowing his readers to experience his work with their own interpretations.  Just because he believes Mikasa’s existence with Eren at a constant is unfavorable, everyone will see it that way.  Perhaps it is a good thing that she has a goal to work towards and that it is the fuel to her fighting spirit.  That her desiring a peaceful life with Eren is a good motivator.  Or alternatively, her fixation on Eren would lead her into more dangerous situations that would risk her life, it has her see an unreal version of him, unable to accept his fated death that she is willing to sacrifice everything, even if it means shouldering the burdens he carries, if it means he lives.

The message is clear, however, that whether you, the reader, sees that as wholly positive or negative, or a mixture of both, the intention is that she must let him go.  She must accept his death.  Because if she is to keep her home, a semblance of peace and closure, save her friends- this is how it must end.  There is a beautiful nuance, however, that Mikasa is given the opportunity to forget so that she can avoid the suffering and be free, but she chooses not to- just as she decides when Eren is first taken from her.  When she initially thought he died, she decided to keep fighting to honor his spirit and memory.  She never wants to forget him.  Even if he will die in every reality they share together, the worst thing in the world is an existence without even the memory of him.

This is why she is able to get that closure.  She expresses her feelings and says her final goodbye, in this world anyway.  “See you later” because she will still have the ideal dream knowing that while it isn’t real, it can never be real, not for her, but his memory will live on with her.  And she can carry that memory without sacrificing her agency, her home, her friends, her love.  That is what she is meant to do.

Anyway, I wrote this mostly to observe the function of Paths and what Mikasa’s dream infers is possible, and an opening to a solution, as well as her decision to end Eren’s life.  The dream speaks loudly of Mikasa and Eren as characters because it shows us what they are not.  It emphasizes the characters that we have been following since the beginning are raw and motivated, destined to live their lives fighting and protecting and moving onward, never surrendering.  And to insist otherwise would be a disservice to how they’ve been built up to after all this time.

....

[Once again: Despite the language in this, the manga has always been a work to be wildly interpreted in a multitude of ways, I just speak passionately about why I think certain interpretations don’t make since to my own. But nothing is indefinite. The material is flexible. See it how you wish.]

[esther-dot]

My favorite thing about these new gen "show!Sansa is poo-poo but book!Sansa is a baby angel we wuv her" Sansabuts that sprung after S8 is how they have this imaginary Sansa stan who claimed "Yes I love Sansa's show arc, especially how she got to marry Ramsay and was raped. So I want that happen in the books too, I hope GRRM retcons her arc and makes it happen. <3" Where did that come from? Who is this Sansa stan they constantly talk about? Why do they only show themselves to Sansabuts and Sansa antis but no Sansa stan or Jonsa has ever met that person? Show us, tell us so we know who they are too.

The way they had to create a whole new imaginary Sansa stan persona just so they can feel superior fighting against that not-at-all-real person is so on-brand of them, like it is literally what they do to Sansa too. The Sansa they hate is all fanon and projection, it doesn't exist in the books. (Similar to how the Dany they stan is also part fanon part show creation - gotta love how they hate the show but the Dany they stan is the product of the show lol- and asoiaf!Dany is more like fanon!Sansa they've created to hate on lmao)

All we say is Sansa will go to North, help taking back North and WF from the Boltons, will rebuild WF, lead the North and become Queen etc. No one ever says anything about Ramsay ffs. It's Arya stans lamenting about how Sansa stole Arya's role by marrying him, they are the ones wishing Arya had that plotline, not us.

I just, I stand in awe of the gall people have to say the stuff they do about Sansa/her fans.

Sansa has never been a fan favorite and even the general audience was upset about rape plot. People who didn’t give a shit were horrified. And now they want to say that the fans who loved and defended Sansa since s1 liked it?

The same fans who were routinely ostracized, harassed, and threatened by the rest of the fandom because they didn’t think Sansa deserved to be punished by the narrative all secretly wanted to see their fav suffer?

Do they expect people to believe that?

I’m guessing those accusations began as a way to dismiss (without consideration) the girl in grey theory for the books. I never looked, but I’m sure speculation Sansa would go North existed before S6 because of the Ned and Sansa parallels, but never mind that. Since those nasty show!sansa fans and those dirty Jonsas realized, “oh shit, Sansa really is going North soon” and started theorizing for the books, it became unacceptable to even contemplate such a notion. Every time they start screaming about Sansa staying in the Vale permanently I imagine them doing this routine:

I guess the best way to dismiss the possibility of Sansa going North soon was to act like what they really meant was that she would experience everything show!sansa did, so that’s what they have to resort to. I don’t understand why they’re so threatened though. I mean, if you like Sansa, are 100% sure Jonsa isn’t happening, and know Dany will be totally fine with letting the North go free or that all the Starks will be a-ok with her being their queen, why are they so pressed?

You can always tell when the objective is to understand what the text is saying and when the objective is to find proof for your preexisting stance. Even though I prefer the girl in grey theory because I think it makes the most sense for Sansa to be involved in reclaiming the North, I often rec this meta (part 1, part 2) about a Jon and Sansa reunion in the Vale because @ stormcloudrising may not be saying what a lot of us want to hear, but it is clear, this speculation is about understanding Sansa’s story, not trying to shove her out of the spotlight. It’s possible to entertain alternative storylines for her and still treat Sansa well. 

They are simply choosing not to.

[yourdreamscenarios]

When someone is rude to you

∙ Request ♡    ∙ Word count: 3,8K

“And that, is the story of my favorite steak.” Yoongi finished his ramble, lifting his glass in the air in some form of a cheers before drowning it in one go. Pressing your lips together into a straight line you tried your best not to laugh. You felt Jungkook’s hand on your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze as he sat beside you. They all knew how Yoongi could get after he’d had a few drinks too many. The guys had invited you along for a group dinner, knowing that Jungkook would love for you to come. The two of you hadn’t been able to see each other often these past few weeks, both busy doing your own things. It had been a wonderful thought to spend the evening with your boyfriend and his friends before getting back towards your real life. Jungkook had been clinging onto you since you’d entered the dorm earlier tonight and refused to keep his hand further than a certain distance from your body at all time. “Wonderful, I really liked that part of the cutting. Didn’t you, Jimin?” Hoseok asked, and the younger boy nodded but dared not to say anything, a snort threatening to escape him. Yoongi turned towards him, placed a hand on his shoulder and gazed deeply into his eyes as he said, “That’s where the masterpiece is created.” 

At once the entire table lost its cool and laughter bursted from every single one of you. In an instant you were the loudest table in the entire restaurant as you all tried to compose yourself. You had never seen anyone create such a hypnotic and dedicated story about a piece of meat. Jungkook’s head fell back beside you, a loud and high pitched laugh escaping him before he stared around with twinkling eyes. You loved seeing him this happy and carefree. Moments like these, you wished you could take pictures from and save them somewhere, so you could watch them over and over again. As if feeling your gaze on him, he turned his head to look at you and nudged you with his shoulder while giving you a smile. “So, you two decided whether you’re going on that holiday or not?” Seokjin asked, watching the two of you interact as he was the one who had ended up siting in front of you. He’d complained like a little child at the start of dinner, complaining that he would have to watch the two of you flirting with each other all night. Attention got diverted from the steak and you felt all eyes point at you as you leaned your elbow on the table and rested your chin in the palm of your hand. “Not yet, we’re not sure…” You muttered, glancing sideways at your boyfriend. 

At the start of the year the two of you had decided that it’d be nice if the two of you would be able to take a trip together. It was one of the things the two of you hadn’t done since you were together. Obviously there wasn’t a lot of time for traveling due to your busy schedules and the trip had been delayed. Last month, it had been Jungkook who had brought it up again, suggesting that maybe the two of you should just go. But back then you had been in the middle of promotions, chin deep in work and it had just seemed an impossibility for you to make time for something so selfish. The guys kept encouraging you to take some time to yourselves, but so far the two of you still hadn’t actually said you’d go. “We should just drop them off at the airport, they’ll never leave on their own accords.” Taehyung said, nibbling some food of his fork as he gave the two of you a weirded smile. Pursing your lips, you couldn’t deny that what he said wasn’t true. Beside you, Jungkook straightened against the back of his chair and snaked his arm across of your shoulders. “We’ll go, one day.” Hoseok snorted at that, refilling his glass with the red wine which stood at the head of the table. “Right, you mean the day when the two of you are forced to go on your honeymoon?” Another round of snickers broke loose from the others as Jungkook’s cheeks flushed bright red. 

He swapped at the guy sitting beside him, who groaned and rubbed the spot where he’d been hit. “Laugh all you want, at least I’ve got someone to take with me. Perhaps you can ask that girl from the cafe you met last week?” Jungkook noted, and this time it was Hoseok who gained some color as he lifted his glass to his mouth and pretended being too busy to drink to respond. “We could all go together, it’ll be fun.” Jimin proposed, to which everyone gave some sound of agreement. Everyone was in need of a few days off it seemed. “I know where I’d go if I could chose.” Taehyung said, a bright look on his face as waiters arrived and started cleaning up the empty plates in front of you. Namjoon lifted a curve brow at his younger friend, wondering what he’d come up with this time. Jungkook had once told you that Taehyung could think of the weirdest travel destinations one could possibly imagine. A waitress appeared beside you, picking up your plate and cutlery. Tilting your head you smiled at her, wanting to thank her for her service, but your words died on your tongue at that same moment. 

You were used to getting those glares, you got them all the time. People seemed to think it was what you deserved after you’d stolen away their golden boy. Jungkook was loved by many, and jealousy was all over the place since the moment everyone heard you were dating him. You’d always told yourself not to take those looks personal, after all, they didn’t know you and they could only hate you for being in a relationship with Jungkook. The things they said, the looks they sent you, they couldn’t be pointed towards you as a person, but only because of what you had done. And you refused to apologize for loving someone. “I hope you enjoyed your dinner. Only may I advice you next time you order a smaller potion. You’ve started to look like a pig, especially in that dress.” The conversation the guys were having a moment before died out. A sudden silence fell over the table, and for a second the only thing you could hear was Hoseok sputtering as he choked on his wine. You could tell that Jungkook had gone rigid beside you. The girl simply continued to pile some plates on top of another as everyone stared her down. “Excuse me, what did you just say to her?” Jungkook’s harsh voice came from beside you, and you quickly hushed him by grabbing his arm and sending him a look. You didn’t want this entire thing to escalate, especially not in public. 

But Jungkook wasn’t looking at you. He was sending daggers at the waitress, who couldn’t be much older than himself. She blinked up innocently at him and sent him a kind smile. It changed her entire face, and if you didn’t know any better you’d almost say she looked angelic. “Oh nothing, just that you deserve better. You clearly weren’t in the right state of mind when picking her as your so called girlfriend. I mean, everyone who looks close enough can tell it’s fake.But that’s alright, better ditch that ugly bitch while you still can, bigger and better next time right.” She actually had the nerve to wink at him before sending you another foul look. A terrible heat spread itself across of your face in the form of shame as she turned around and walked away. You dipped low inside of your seat, realizing that other people had turned around to look at you, some of them sending you looks of pity, others looking very confused. Your boyfriend had gone completely silent, shock visible all over his expression. But the eyes said it all. There was a rage building inside of them which told you that it was only a matter of seconds before he would take the matter in his own hands and start a scene. 

“Alright that’s it, I’m not drinking another drop of this.” Hoseok spit as he placed his wine glass back onto the table with a loud clang, half of the content spilling over the rim and onto the table. Namjoon pushed his chair back and you could tell that even he was pushed towards anger, as red spots colored his cheeks. “I’m going to ask for the check. Gather up, we’re leaving.” He announced, and stopped for a second to squeeze your shoulder before he walked out of sight, his card in hand. The joyful sphere which had been hovering around all evening was gone in the blink of an eye, and you couldn’t help but feel horrible about it. “You don’t have to leave for me, I’m fine.” You reassured them, even though you could feel the insides of your skin pressing against your dress. You had been doubtful about your pick of clothing from the moment you had pulled this dress on. It sickened you, that someone was capable of making you feel this way. “We’re not paying for another thing here. I’d rather have some self cooked ramen at home than stay here one minute longer.” Jimin roared, his furious look shifting from left to right through the restaurant, almost as if checking if the girl dared to show her face again. Seokjin pushed his chair back without words, and pulled his jacket on with a blank expression. “Teach your staff some manners…Never heard anything like this…Unacceptable…” 

You could hear Namjoon’s soft but stern voice coming from behind you and when you looked over your shoulder to see who he was talking to, you could tell the man in the suit beside him was probably the manager. Silently you raised from your chair, tugged on your coat and couldn’t help but cross your arms together, hoping to hide some of yourself behind them. Immediately you felt a strong hand grab yours, which tugged your shield apart, causing your arms to fall limp next to your sides. “Don’t you dare.” Jungkook whispered, pulling at your hand to get you closer to him. As soon as Namjoon returned and got inside of his jacket, everyone marched towards the door. You didn’t dare look sideways, afraid you’d see that woman again, and you weren’t sure if you could face her now. “The steak wasn’t that good anyway!” Yoongi shouted through the entire room, and heads turned back into your direction as you made for the exit. Together you all huddled out on the street, making your way back towards your cars. Everyone remained silent, but you could tell it was loaded. Everyone had something to tell about what had just happened, they were just waiting for the right time to say it. Jungkook pulled you along with him, stopping at the back of Seokjin’s car, who you had arrived with earlier. Namjoon joined you and ushered the other guys on, who had gotten here with Hoseok and were all rushing to get into the vehicle. 

Without words Jungkook opened the door for you and stepped aside to let you in. You made yourself small, and let out a deep breath when you settled down on the backseat. As soon as everyone got in Namjoon started the radio, turned up the volume and led his friend into a conversation about songwriting. Though you knew better than to believe they weren’t secretly listening to everything that would be sat behind them. They were just trying to give you the illusion that you had some privacy here, which you loved them for. After taking a deep breath Jungkook turned towards you in the cramped space, and you tried to keep your face neutral as he studied it. “That woman…. You know she was just jealous of you, right?” He said, checking your reaction. You swallowed, and turned your head so you could stare out of the window. Night had fallen, but you knew that if you hadn’t been interrupted you would have been inside of that restaurant for many hours still. “Hey, look at me.” His voice softened as he placed his fingers underneath your chin and turned your head back to his. Blinking rapidly you tried your best to hide how you truly felt, but knew he’d be able to see straight through you. A fast pop song was playing, and you could tell that Namjoon was currently having a conversation with himself as Seokjin tried to focus on the road. Jungkook’s eyes drilled into yours, and you felt as if he was able to see straight into your soul and see all of your insecurities. 

“This is exactly what she wanted. She wanted you to feel like this, by telling you lies. Don’t let her.” He pressed on, and you couldn’t help but scoff, thinking it was an easy thing for him to say. Your eyes roamed his body, his black shirt which clung to his chest, his thighs visible through his pants. He always looked as if he walked straight out of a magazine. Besides, it was easy to brush words off if they hadn’t been directed towards you. You hurtled through streets, making your way back towards their dorm. By what you could see over Jungkook’s shoulder, you must almost be there. You couldn’t wait for this night to end. His hold on your chin loosened and the tips of his fingers tickled down your jaw before he brushed some of your hair behind your ear. His gaze was smoldering as he pressed his thumb against your lower lip, causing your heartbeat to speed up. “You’re beautiful.” His voice was barely audible over the loud music. If either of the boys had heard his confession than neither made it look like it. Your breath fastened on its own as he suddenly leaned in, pressing up against you in the small space of the backseat. His lips brushed past your ear, making you want to cling onto something. “I’ve wanted to rip that dress off of you from the moment you came down in it.” He said so without shame, his voice husky as the car pulled to a stop in front of the dorm. 

Pulling back, he wore a look of mischief on his face, and winked playfully while Namjoon turned off the radio and Seokjin shut down the car. “Alright, we’re back.” Namjoon said, as though the two of you hadn’t been able to notice. Your ears turned pink as you thought about what they had overheard about your conversation. Nobody made the first move to get out and after a while Namjoon turned around in his seat, giving you a apologetic look. “I’m sorry about what happened in the restaurant ______________. We never would have went there if we’d known something like that could happen.” He reassured you, and you felt terribly that he thought he owned you such a thing as an apology. You smiled at him, sending him a thankful look before patting hit hand which lay beside the headrest. “Don’t worry Namjoon, I’m fine. People like that, they just say stuff they don’t mean. It doesn’t have any effect on me.” You lied through your teeth, but it seemed to satisfy the boys, who clearly looked much more comfortable now. Their shoulders visibly relaxed as they shot you friendly smiles, the matter forgotten. Only Jungkook shot you a disbelieving look, and you stomped him against the shoulder as he shook his head and opened the door. Cold wind blew straight into your face as you got out of the car and stepped onto the driveway. 

The others were already waiting for you outside, and Taehyung immediately came to your side, throwing his arm around you in a comrade kind of way. “Don’t let it get to you _____________.” He muttered, giving you a friendly squeeze against his side as he led you out of the cold and towards the front door. “Her sight was clearly as bad as my steak. If you resemble a pig, than I’m not sure I know what a pig looks like.” Yoongi blabbered from somewhere behind you. “She’s just jealous she isn’t the one wearing that dress.” Jimin joined in, and Hoseok joined in with a loud, “That’s right!” Your cheeks warmed because of all the sweet words, and you were glad when you finally got inside and the attention was no longer on you. Everyone slowly went their own way, two towards the bathroom to take a shower, two spreading themselves out in front of the TV to watch a movie, one trotting over towards the kitchen to get a drink and one towards the terrace to get some air. Only Jungkook remained, glued to your hip. “Come on.” He muttered softly, tugging your hand and navigating you towards his bedroom. He shut the door behind himself as you wove deeper inside, shrugged off your coat and lay plopped down on top of the huge bed. 

You jumped up and down a few times, the suspension of the bed giving into your weight. You knew you’d feel better about this in the morning, but tonight, you just wanted to drown in self pity. “You know, perhaps this entire thing wasn’t as bad.” Jungkook suddenly stated as he loosened the button of his jeans and began to lower them down his legs. You tracked his movements, watching him intently inside of his boxers as he reached for his sweatpants and began to pull them on. You were so concentrated on this you even forgot to be annoyed by his words. “And why’s that?” You mumbled, ogling the way his fingers neatly made a knot with the strings, securing the sweats on his hips before he tugged out his shirt and replaced it with one of his old ones he referred at home. He showed off a blinding grin, pleased he had been able to give you a bit of a view before he made his way over to the bed. Without even the slightest bit of a warning his hands hooked themselves behind your knees and you squealed as he used his hold to tug you back towards the end of the mattress. “Because…” He said, leaning down, his face right in front of yours, noses touching. You could sense the smell of wine inside of his breath as he let go of your legs and placed his hands beside of your head. 

“At least I’ve got you to myself now.” He remarked before pressing a quick peck to your lips and throwing himself onto the bed beside you. You bounced slightly underneath his weight, and you rolled your eyes at his cheesy words. “I’m not in the best mood.” You warned him, hoping he wasn’t expecting too much from your alone time. There was no way you were getting naked in front of him tonight, not with all of these thoughts stuck inside of your mind. He scoffed and scooped you up as if you were some kind of feather and you giggled as he rolled you on top of himself. Folding your hands underneath your chin you wanted the way his hair fell in front of his eyes as he stared up at you. “I still can’t believe she had the nerve to say that to you. We were all there, we could all hear her.” He mused, pushing your hair back so it wasn’t falling in front of your face. You shrugged and followed the stitching on the collar of his shirt. His hands folded together in the small of your back, hugging you close. “That’s probably exactly what she wanted. She wanted to confront me in front of you, just to make sure I wasn’t the only one who knew she’d humiliated me.” You said, frowning as you stared at his collarbone peaking out from underneath the shirt. 

“But she didn’t, humiliate you.” Jungkook suddenly said, and you shot him a disbelieving look, wondering if he had attended a different dinner than you had. Before you could make a remark about that he quickly came to his own defense. “The only person she humiliated is herself. We all know you’re beautiful, no matter what people say. Once her manager is done with her, I’m sure she’ll regret causing a scene like that.” He explained, shrugging as thought what he said made perfect sense. You felt yourself blush but kept quiet never the less. No matter how much you disliked everything that had happened, you couldn’t help but be pleased with his flattering words. The corners of your lips tugged upwards as he rolled you over, careful to keep up his weight as not to crush you underneath him. “Besides, she’s probably right. I wasn’t in the right state of mind when I fell for you.” He said, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, the tips of his lashing brushing against your throat, causing goosebumps to appear all over your skin.  

“Is that quite so?” You asked, coming your fingers through his soft hair, tugging it slightly at the nape of his neck. He hummed playfully and you could hear the smile inside of it. “After all, I was a love sick fool.” He whispered, causing your heart to stutter inside of your chest. Pulling at his hair, he lifted his head and you were quick to guide his lips down on top of yours. His kiss was passionate as his hand slipped down the side of your body, stopping on top of your hip to keep hold on you. He gently nibbled at your lower lip, causing your nails to dip inside of his biceps. He chuckled, pressing sweet pecks down your jaw before putting one on top of your nose. “Now, I think you should take off that dress.” He recommended, and you blinked up innocently at him. “Why? Because it makes me look like a pig?” You asked sweetly, and something inside of his look darkened as he curled his arm around your back, searching for the zipper himself. “No, because I love to see what’s underneath it.” 

∙ BTS Masterlist ♡   ∙ Masterlist ♡

[deliciousscaloppine]

Hot Takes Galore: A brief overview of fandom backlashes that influenced fanfiction writing traditions as I have personally experienced them:

In today’s segment I am going to talk about copyright infringement.

First let me preface this by saying I have only ever been in 3 fandoms, starting from 2008 and I have never been terribly active - like this blog has been the most active I’ve ever been in any fandom ever. I am not going to talk about particular fandom dramas because I am pretty clueless about that. What I am going to talk about is that friction between “reality” and online spaces that brought about changes that are still in effect today in the way fanfiction is written and perceived.

In 2008 as I was entering, nearly every piece of fanfiction had a disclaimer about the author not owning the characters, which were the property of Corporate Entity X, or Author Y, and also not profiting from the work in any shape or form. At the time getting money from writing fanfiction was a gigantic taboo, and almost no one did it, or advertised that they did. 

But as I understand through convention culture printed writing did circulate in exchange for money (zines), and at least in Japan one could sell doujinshis (self-published stories and comics, often within the framework of another work) in certain events. Although this was largely considered “illegal” under copyright laws, and artists could be persecuted or blacklisted from entering the industry if discovered. That’s also why fanartists often to this day may screen where and when their work is viewed, and move to take down reposts, or call others to protest if artworks are circulated without permission outside of the artist’s page.

Older fandom people also hated authors that moved against fanfiction, a big case being Anne Rice, the vampire lady everyone - including me - copies when writing about vampires. And now I am going to talk a little about that.

Usually, writers, just sit somewhere cosy and write, and often they have no idea, absolutely no idea, on how to manage their writing properties - usually a lawyer does that, and lawyers want A Lot Of Money (A brief brush with justice and lawyers over a civil dispute I won, cost me 1000 euros out of nowhere, in a single day, and no I couldn’t avoid it because I was the accused one, so I had to appear with some representation). 

So sometimes, quite often, it’s a lawyer that activates a writer or other artist to move against “smaller” copyright infringements, in order to make bank. And if one suffers such a case, they should make it as apparent as possible to the other party that they have no money, and the pressure will go away immediately. But even MORE OFTEN a small copyright infringement, may lead to a sequence of bigger ones, and ultimately the de facto loss of rights from one’s writing properties, and of course revenue. 

And for a lot of published authors, they just don’t know for how long they can publish things - publishing houses that have them signed can close, book sales can drop, tastes change, personal problems, and anything else may mean that they could find themselves without a source of income at any point in the future, while they are aging and becoming more and more irrelevant. 

A very famous case currently, is that of Alan Dean Foster, the writer who has done some novelizations for movies like Star Wars and Alien, and is no longer receiving revenue from that - while his wife is hospitalized and their family needs the income - because Disney absorbed the company that had signed the contract with him, and chose to not honor the previous contract. To make them pay he will have to go into a huge legal battle with a corporate giant, which he cannot afford. But they still absorb income from these novelizations.

But how does fanfiction tie into that, and Anne Rice’s case (which if memory serves right, also went through a series of personal problems, including her husband’s death during that time). 

So for a lot of writers, fanfiction may be that tiny breach that may threaten their rights in the future from tresspases of distribution networks. Meaning, people write vampire fanfiction based on Anne Rice’s work? What if another publishing house used the template of her works (historical settings, bleeding orifices, religious themes, homosexuality and sexual trauma etc) and produced a royalty free series of such works with a team of professional writers that do not own the work - who often have less rights, like not owning the characters, or the storylines, participating in a very small scale, so their payment goes down etc)

And in this way EVERYONE SUFFERS. Big Name Published Author fades into obscurity and goes into poverty and payroll writers are horrifically abused.  

A lot of hobbyists, and hobbyist writers whose sole dream is to be published in some shape or form, do not really care, and do not concern themselves with the legal aspect of creation, or the technical skill that it takes to produce writing on a consistent basis, which can only happen if you’ve got your basic needs covered. So they might see this type of backlash as inherently privileged. 

But it’s not really a privilege, there has been a global recession in basic working rights for everyone, and lovers of fiction don’t have to condone, of course, attacks against them, but they need to put that kind of backlash in perspective. Someone did write the content you enjoy, THEY ARE NOT DEAD YET, and may have opinions on how it should be managed, especially when it pertains to their livelihood. 

It’s a delicate balance that we all must keep in order to keep corporate regulations out of it.

For instance with the recent danmei explosion The Untamed brought forth, Ao3 was banned in China. Now a lot of you might know that this was caused by some real person fic involving the actor Xiao Zhan, which led to a whole other level of drama. But make no mistake this was a political act to protect the interests of the domestic publishing industry as it prepares to do an international opening that will bring in several billions from foreign markets.

Because Ao3 has been expanding as a platform globally it brings about changes, and in many cases steals readers away from traditional publishing, so it becomes unacceptable economically for a bunch of hobbyists to influence tastes, market mores, and create sensationalism around certain properties out of literally the blue. This is not a good thing for a lot of corporate thinking, they set the product and we are supposed to buy it. We are not supposed to go, it would look greater with a bunch of anal, and then put forth a million words altering the character of the intellectual property.

Why you ask? Again, because another publishing industry might choose to imitate the style of danmei fanfics and produce works that hijack readership, or lead to breach of contracts, making an unsafe environment for workers in this industry (Xiao Zhan’s case.)

Nowadays I see more and more fanfic authors coming out of their shell to ask money for writing in the form of donations, patronage and commissions, as fandom involvement is also becoming vastly monetized. The market of conventions coming into social media platforms. A strange more exists still in which while “legally wrong”, as long as money is not asked on the publishing platform (Ao3), it may not count as copyright infringement. But fanfic authors, may still be treated with hostility for this, for not “deserving” to profit from someone else’s properties, or even worse for “stealing” readership. 

For instance a recent argument I have seen from lgbtq authors, is that they remain unsupported by fandom spaces, who often proclaim themselves as lgbtq or lgbtq friendly (something that is not true), but at the same time they are not looking for published lgbtq stories, or authors, or even treat these with open hostility, or a lot of bias.

Fandom is not comprised from “readers” in the traditional sense, definitely not friends of literature, and it’s free, no one really has to pay anything to read a published fanfic.  So it’s a pretty loose demographic with no set characteristics, and no interest in investing time and money in something for long. It’s an online social activity and not a readers’ movement, highly influenced by peer pressure and branding. It’s basically a gigantic group of people who don’t really do anything for no one, and may develop a parasitic connection to intellectual properties (I am sorry peers, it’s the truth). 

And it’s perhaps the biggest counterculture scene at the moment in the developed world. To this day it treats even its own authors with tremendous suspicion, disregard and dismissal, meaning that even if someone can get some money and recognition locally through writing fanfic they are on thin fucking ice at all times for all the reasons but mostly attracting unnecessary attention to themselves and subsequently the scene.  A pattern that we will see is endemic to all forms of fandom backlashes.

So to this day in contrast with fanart, fan writers may not be compensated for their troubles, but may also be ousted from their domestic professional spaces for writing fanfic that may infringe on their intellectual property. 

The thing is, for me, that fandom culture can become incredibly supportive of corporate practices that harm actual people (writers, they are people too) but when they realize that the same corporate practices may be used against them, it’s too late to realize that it’s not a lottery of who wins by crying more, and by the time that happens, a corporation or industry who has used them to do its dark bidding, can stop catering to them  because ultimately they have become again irrelevant once a well defined demographic of  readers and viewers has been secured.

So if you are going to do counterculture, at least do it right. Be respectful of the writers/authors of the content you consume and mindful of their troubles, do not generate public strife that brings in political regulation in favor of corporate interests. Become interested in writing culture, support your fanfic authors with lasting engagement in their work, even if it escapes the narrow confines of a certain fandom. It’s simple. Eat, live, pray, fuck, or something.

[1949coupe]

Freelance journalist and entrepreneur Tucker Benedict just wrote an open letter to Trump to remind him what it means to be American. Benedict’s message has officially set the internet on fire! Read it below:

Donald Trump,

My family immigrated to the United States of America on the third boat after the Mayflower. Our heritage precedes any records of Trumps, or Drumpfs, in America. Members of my family have served in every major conflict in US history with the exception of Iraq; your family cannot say the same. Yet, you continue to act as if you’ve sacrificed for the betterment of our country when the reality is: we don’t even know you’ve paid taxes half the time. Instead of acknowledging your past though, and honorably promising to change from a position of great entitlement, you accost service members you don’t care for, threaten democracy with attacks on the media, and worsen divides that threaten to tear America apart. Moreover, there’s a part of me that’s angry from a personal standpoint, my father founded the criminal divison of the EPA, and was the senior environmental prosecutor in the country until 2014, and whose storied career began with work on Watergate. You’ve destroyed his life’s work in under 7 months, but I’m not writing this from a position of anger or even from a personal standpoint, I’m trying to speak for a great many Americans who are understandably frightened for the future; who feel they’re watching the degradation of our way of life. This letter isn’t about me, or my feelings, but it is intended for you, Mr. President.

There’s a storm coming and as our enemies around the world lick their chops watching the division within America, we continue to charge towards a future in which we tear ourselves apart. Many of us, yourself included, seem to have forgotten what it means to be American. If our memory continues to fail and we forget entirely what being American truly means, we’ll not only lose our status as the world’s leader, we won’t deserve it anymore. This is not a world I can imagine nor that I have any desire to. Without America to serve as an eternal source of light within the darkness the world will be cast into chaos. In order to preserve what so many gave so much to obtain, we must first remember what it means to be American. While we seem hopelessly intertwined in a national, and very partisan, identity crisis we can only hope to pull out of it by remembering the lessons our founding father’s taught us all those years ago when they first defined, through their actions, what it means to be American.

Currently, there are a few misconceptions on what makes someone American; there seems to be a great deal of entitlement when considering the term. I was born a white male and a citizen of The United States of America but I don’t think that makes me an American. There seems to be a lot of controversy swirling around this notion but the reality is being born a certain way entitles me to nothing. The circumstances of birth don’t make you American, they never have, but actions do.

We earn our status as American through our actions day to day, month to month, and year to year. In doing the right thing by our loved ones, our countrymen, and ourselves we become American. There’s not flashy gesture or fancy piece of paper that can make you truly American but living the right way can; waking up and doing the right thing everyday, no matter how big or small the action, is what makes us American. It isn’t a static definition either, it’s a dynamic one just like we are as people; always changing, growing, and working towards the betterment of not only ourselves but our society as a whole. When considering how we define being American it’s worth noting those criteria.

When I voted it was in a densely populated, urban sector of Philadelphia. There were four booths for hundreds of people; many of whom were elderly and couldn’t stand for hours. It was a very telling few hours. Some of those elderly individuals struggling the most sported Make America Great Again hats. Instead of being happy at your supporter’s misfortune though I spent my day making trips to a conference room located at the back of the line hundreds of people long in order to ferry chairs to those who couldn’t stand. It wasn’t a big gesture or one that required a tremendous effort, it certainly DID NOT deserve any praise, because I knew it was merely the right thing to do for my fellow American. This attitude seems to be dying though, as we forget more and more what being American means. As I walked back and forth with chairs under each arm I watched many of my young peers barely look up from their phones; some even seemed noticeably annoyed that a fellow millennial would go out of his way to help your supporters. Make no mistake, those watching seemed to have forgotten what being American means just as much as anyone. When nobody joined in to help I was only made more aware of the change I’ve seen in my lifetime; the gradual shift many of us have noticed in our culture. It might seem subtle to some, but many have forgotten to do the right thing for no other reason than it helps another American. If this lack of support for each other continues to proliferate we’ll witness the decay of American values and worth This is something I attribute to the win at all cost/look out for yourself mentality that’s taken over politics and permeated into our culture; winning has become more important than standing up for each other. Americans used to do the right thing automatically, while many still do, others have stopped if there’s no reward or personal incentive. Americans used to help each other no matter who was President and that’s truly what made America great; our uniquely American loyalty. That loyalty, love, and solidarity saved us from the greatest threat the world has ever known, liberated Europe, and won two world wars. There’s been a change though. It’s apparent everywhere. We saw it when 23 of 24 Texas congressmen voted to deny aid when Hurricane Sandy hit, now faced with Harvey, Texans find themselves in an unfortunate position. This is merely one example of a larger problem within our society though and if this cancerous divisionist mentality continues to spread we’ll witness our downfall.

Hope is not lost though because it isn’t too late to start putting America, and each other, first again; all that’s required is remembering what made us Americans in the first place.

In school, when I was young and studying our history, I learned a great lesson; one I think is important enough to share. I learned that being an American isn’t something you obtain from being born here, or even from keeping other people out; being American is something you become through your actions and character. Defining what it meant to be an American was something our founding father’s sacrificed all that they had for.

Today, with all the modern luxuries we have it’s hard to understand being so passionate about something you’d die for it but our founders had that passion for the characteristics which would later define our nation. By fighting so fervently amongst ourselves that we forget the value of other Americans we put into jeopardy all that we have. It’s all of our duty to honor that which our founding father’s felt defined America. Honoring those traditions can mean different things to different people but all of us must find a way to honor them, every day if we are ever to truly Make America Great Again. This isn’t hard to do, it only takes remembering to do the right thing. I’m not perfect, in fact, I would consider myself the last person for anyone to take their cues from, but for me, I honor those traditions by trying to do the right thing every day to the best of my ability, whether it’s big or small, seen or unseen, noted or unnoticed. You see, if you remember to do the right thing, to treat others how you’d like to be treated, and do everything to the best of your ability, I promise everything else, all the nonsense in the media, won’t matter a single bit, because we’ll once again have a country of people who look out for one another. The alternative is unacceptable.

So Mr. President with this in mind I wanted to give you some advice for salvaging your presidency:

Tell the truth. In times of doubt, the truth is always the right answer. If lies are allowed to be believed as fact America will continue to forget that the real enemy isn’t each other, it’s those who seek to end democracy, freedom, and our way of life.

Stop defining what it means to be American from a partisan stance. You have no right. None of us do. Being American is defined by those who came before, and it’s defined by those whose examples will survive the test of time. If someone is willing to come here, work hard, abide by our laws, and protect our way of life, then you, Donald Trump, have no right to tell them they cannot be Americans. Being born to millions in New York, dodging your country’s call in its time of need, and verbally accosting service members does not make you the one to decide what it means to be an American.

Stop attacking the media. You bear a great responsibility; millions of Americans look to you for guidance and comfort during hardship. If you continue to point their anger at the media we may lose an integral pillar of democracy. If you do not you will cement your legacy as the enemy of democracy. History will condemn you.

Stop using radical Islam and immigrants as scapegoats to bring people together. We’ve seen in history scapegoats unite the masses but at great cost. Instead of pandering to the fears of your base you could teach them to accept. You’ve uniquely been able to reach the individuals that make up your base unlike any before you; you have the opportunity to take advantage of their love for you and to teach them that being American really means doing the right thing above all else. In doing this you could not only save your legacy but America as a whole.

There is a storm coming and it cannot be defeated by a divided nation; a storm that doesn’t care if you’re liberal or conservative, a storm that seeks to upend democracy, freedom, and our way of life. As Americans, we have to do the right thing even when it isn’t easy, even when there’s no reward because that’s truly what makes us Americans and if we forget that, we’ll truly be lost.

Respectfully,

Tucker Benedict.

[the-sympathetic-villain]

You Belong With Me - Chapter 3

AO3 | First | Previous | Next | Masterpost

Description: Much to his surprise, after being released from prison for a crime he didn’t commit, Logan has been appointed as a the prince’s new advisor. 

Pairings: Logince

Word Count: 1844

Chapter Warnings: Minor Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Knives, Panic Attack, Unsympathetic!Remus

“I don’t think so, you little fraud. You’ll address me as ‘your grace', if you know what's good for you. Just because you’re out here doesn’t mean you’re my equal, pretty boy.” Remus smiled menacingly. Before Logan could even brace himself, Remus jabbed him in the stomach and Logan’s body folded in on itself. He would have collapsed to the ground, if Remus hadn't caught him, pushing him back against the wall.

Logan struggled to catch his breath, desperately trying to keep himself from hyperventilating. “I’m the p-prince’s p-personal advisor. If you h-hurt me, you'll be p-punished.”

“Do you promise?” Remus sneered at him, leaning close to Logan’s ear. Logan squirmed uncomfortably as Remus spoke in his ear. “Do you really think that’s a threat? You mean nothing to him. You’re just a pretty face to him.”

Logan struggled in Remus' grip but Remus barely seemed to notice, holding him firmly against the wall. Remus leaned in closer. Logan’s fought to pull away as he felt Remus' breath on his neck.  “Amazing, he can even tell behind that face full of ugly bruises.”

Logan went limp in Remus' hands, defeated.

Remus leaned back and smiled. Remus slipped his hand up to guide Logan’s chin, guiding his face up to look at him. Logan’s skin crawled as Remus touched him, but he couldn’t find the will to pull away. “Pretty boy, you’re pathetic but you’re not a fool. You know I’m telling you the truth. You’re no more than a pretty face for the prince to entertain himself with. He’ll bore of you eventually. You’re discardable to him.” He laughed cruelly, stepping back. Logan's freedom only lasted a moment before Remus snapped his fingers. In a moment, Remus' minions had him pinned, arms outstretched, against the wall.

Remus turned and faced Logan, a demented smiled flashing across his face. He moved suddenly, jabbing Logan again in the stomach again. Logan's legs collapsed underneath him. He groaned, hanging limply in the grip of his assailants. Remus slid closer and Logan desperately leaned his head back away from him. Unfortunately, Logan’s discomfort only seem to encourage him. Remus leaned in closer, grabbing a handful of Logan’s hair and pulling his head up to look at Remus. Logan gritted his teeth and squirmed as he felt Remus' close in on him. Every cell in his body ached to get away as he felt Remus' breath on his face. “Did you already forget your place, my little pest? I thought you knew your place.”

Logan held his breath until Remus stepped back away from him. He stood in front of Logan, smiling sadistically. A glint of metal flashed in Remus' hand and Logan suddenly felt a new wave of panic rise in his chest. He struggled against the men’s weight, but they easily held him still. Remus playfully spun a dagger around his fingers, eyeing Logan dangerously. “Let's see if the prince still likes you after I carve up that pretty face of yours.”

“Please…no.” He begged. Logan closed his eyes, turning his head away.

“WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE?” Roman's voice filled the corridor, echoing loudly around him. Logan watched Remus startle. He and his men immediately scattered. Logan's vision narrowed but he heard footsteps moving towards them. +No longer being held up on the wall, Logan doubled over in pain, falling to the ground.

The next thing Logan knew, Roman stood over him, reaching down to him. Logan struggled to catch his breath, wheezing with great difficulty.

“Take it easy, Logan. You’re safe.” Roman said, gently pulling him to his feet.

Logan stumbled slightly and his vision blurred. He vaguely felt Roman wrap his arm around his waist to steady him. He lost track of Roman as his breathing became rapid and his heart pounded in his chest.

“Are you okay?” Roman asked. Logan barely heard him but he could feel the prince gently brushing debris off his clothes.

“Um…uh... I—” He stuttered, struggling to form sentences. His head was spinning wildly. His head suddenly pounded painfully, and the edges of his vision were fading.

“Sorry. Stupid Question. Come sit down.” Logan felt the prince drag him over to a nearby bench. He could feel Roman's hand around his waist as he pulled Logan down onto the bench with him. A movement in his fading periphery caused Logan to flinch away, sending a new wave of panic coursing through his body. He felt Roman pull back apologetically. Logan felt a wave of guilt wash over him.

“S-s-sorry.” Logan managed to stutter as he leaned back against the wall, trying to stop his hyperventilation.

“There’s no need to apologize, Logan. Take whatever time you need to calm down. I'm not going anywhere. You're safe with me.”

A few minutes passed and Logan’s breathing slowly began to resemble a normal pattern again. Suddenly, gravity seemed to weigh down in him . Exhaustion settled in as the adrenaline left his body.

“Thank you.” He whispered to Roman, tiredly.

“Of course.” Roman paused, considering his words. “Do you think you can tell me what happened?”

Logan nodded. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and rested his face in his hands for a moment. Gathering what nerve he had left, he told Roman of how the men had jumped him in the corridor. He gripped his hands together tightly to keep them from shaking as he spoke. As he neared the end of his story, his voice started to fail him. His voice cracked as he told Roman how they'd pulled a knife and threatened to cut his face.

“They…” Logan paused, collecting the last of his nerves. “My assailant implied that the only reason you appointed me to this position was because you wanted me…physically.” The end of Logan's sentence was so quiet that Roman could barely make out the words.

“Logan, no. That's not true." Roman said, sadly.

Logan was silent.

"Listen, I'm going to be very transparent with you. If that’s what I wanted, I could simply have made you an escort. I didn't have to appoint you to one of the highest positions in the court. I have no need to manipulate you like that. I chose you as an advisor for a reason. You are cunning, resourceful and you are clearly incredibly intelligent. I honestly believe you will be an invaluable asset to the throne given some time.” His tone was calm and even, speaking matter-of-factly. “I would never use someone like that, Logan.”

“Okay.” Logan didn't know if he could believe what Roman was saying but it was easier for him to think that he was valued for his intelligence rather than his looks.

“I have another tough question for you, if you’re feeling well enough to answer.”

“I’m okay, Roman.” Logan’s voice was steadier now. He leaned his head against the wall behind him, trying to stop the pounding in his head. “What do you need to know?”

“If you’re sure, Logan.” He paused, gauging Logan’s reaction.

Logan nodded, closing his eyes.

“Did you recognize your attackers?”

Logan bit his lip and turned away. “No, the corridor was to dimly lit for me to identify them.”

Logan looked down at the ground as Roman stared at him. He didn't dare meet the prince’s gaze. Logan knew he wasn't a convincing liar.

To his surprise, Roman seemed to accept his answer. “Very well. If you remember anything, please tell me. That behavior is unacceptable, and I will not tolerate it. You deserve penance for the pain you endured.” Roman slowly moved closer to Logan, wrapping his arm around Logan’s shoulders and pulling him closer. “I'm so sorry, Logan. I won’t let this happen again.”

Logan was silent but eventually, he leaned into the prince’s shoulder. The effect of the adrenaline had fully left him now. He sank exhausted into Roman's arms.

Roman was quiet for a moment. “Are you sure that you want this?”

“To what specifically are you referring?”

“This job, this life…” Roman shrugged. “You were forced into this choice rather suddenly.”

Logan sighed and pulled himself up out of the prince’s arms. He turned, looking into Roman’s eyes. “May I speak freely?”

“Undoubtedly.” Roman said resolutely. Roman kept his face neutral but internally, he tensed with anticipation of Logan's response. He'd met Logan less than a fortnight ago. Really, They'd only his first real conversation with him roughly a day ago, and yet, the idea of Logan leaving filled him with dread.

“My feelings on the matter are inconsequential. There’s no going back to my old life. This… occurrence has demonstrated to me that going back would surely be a death sentence.” Logan's eye briefly flicked over to Roman. “Despite what just occurred, I'm safer here than anywhere else.”

Roman was silent, looking sadly at his new friend. “You don't have to stay in this position out of fear. If that's truly the only thing keeping you here, I will help you find a safe way out.”

Logan shrugged, uncomfortable with Roman's concern. He changed his tone, hoping to alleviate the pity Roman obviously felt for him. “I am terrified but… I still wish to stay. I admit it is an exciting opportunity to work for you. Before this, my impact on the world at large was basically negligible. Now, I have the potential to influence real change in the kingdom.”

Roman relaxed a bit. “I’m glad that you have found some sense of direction in all the chaos, but I want this to be more for you than just serving a purpose.”

Logan was silent.

“We’ll talk about it later.” He paused. "Listen, I don't want you wandering around on your own anymore. For tonight, you should remain with me. Tomorrow, I will assign one of my guards to escort you during the day so you can do as you please. Honestly, in any case, it's best for you to have a guide, since you’re unfamiliar with the castle.”

“I hardly think that I could get lost.”

Roman noticed that Logan looked uncomfortable. “Listen, I understand you undoubtedly don't want a stranger hovering over your shoulder all day, but I have a particular person in mind. I think you'll get on quite well with him. If anyone could understand your situation, it would be him.”

Logan looked down at the ground, still uncertain. “I’m not thrilled with the idea, but I agree that it is necessary. I’d rather avoid another situation like today.”

“Good.” Roman perked up, trying to sound upbeat. “I have time before my next meeting. How would you like a quick tour of the tower? I think we can manage to hit most of the main points before I need to be anywhere.”

“That suggestion seems quite agreeable.” Logan smiled. His fear had subsided significantly, and his heart rate was beginning to feel normal again. It was strange. The prince had a strangely calming effect on him. His future was still uncertain but, sitting here with Roman, Logan felt a spark of hope inside him.

You Belong With Me Taglist: @cas-is-a-hunter @insert-cool-blogname

[problematic-nova]

This time, my rantings on the morgue scene. I know I'm far from the first person to say "what the fuck" to this one, so a slightly different flavor of commentary on chapter 2. AKA, "the only thing worse than what John did to Sherlock is what the writers did to John's character:"

In a more well-constructed narrative with a coherent arc in mind, I actually think the could've worked. It shows very well how abuse actually /starts/, in several ways. We all have the stereotypical image of a battered wife getting beaten for burning dinner in our heads, but this shows how that cycle actually starts: John, when in an extremely tense situation, under huge amounts of pressure, after unresolved trauma after unresolved trauma was heaped on him, snapped. The first ~three times he hits Sherlock there, it's even because he genuinely is trying to stop Sherlock from hurting somebody else. But then he snaps, and then he can't stop. It escalates further. Abuse is almost never a final, end destination, it's an escalation from minor slights into the more and more unacceptable, and that's what TLD is. It's the end point of the escalation, in how John/the narrative has treated Sherlock as more and more an acceptable target for physical violence:

1. There's the little fist fight in Scandal in Belgravia, played as little more than a shoving match, and instigated by Sherlock. If John needs to be forgiven for that one, then so does Sherlock. Then there's the violence in The Empty Hearse: less lighthearted, less funny, less 'acceptable'. But John was a heartbroken, griefstricken, furious mess, and Sherlock and even Mary were stepping on him at every turn. The violence was unacceptable here, because violence is always unacceptable, but the situation John was in wasn't exactly one that's comparable to real life and the way he was feeling is something none of us can even imagine. It's not okay, but it is very easily forgivable.

2. Then, there's HLV. John never hits Sherlock, here, but he does threaten to, when they're all in the flat together after the shooting. This time, it's absolutely not played for laughs. John threatens to beat Sherlock unconscious, because John is angry, and Sherlock is a convenient target for it-- a Sherlock that John knows is already in huge amounts of pain and is extremely unwell. Sherlock even flinches when John shouts at him. Once again, John is in an unbelievable situation under incredible amounts of stress-- and once again, the narrative seems to suggest that John would be justified. Most alarming, though, is that this time, the stress John is under is not at all Sherlock's fault. But John still threatens to hit him for it, at a point where that could, quite literally, kill him. And while this episode makes John look like a bloody awful and incompetent trauma surgeon in multiple ways (likely because of lack of care in writing the script), in this Watsonian perspective, John knows it. He threatens it anyway.

3. And then we get to TLD. Once again, we have John in large amount of pain and under stress, and once again, we have a very unwell Sherlock. This time, it's not a threat: we have John kicking a completely unresisting Sherlock on the floor until he's coughing up blood. I don't think I need to prove my point about this one.

I don't think I need to prove the point that it's unacceptable, either. If John had treated Mary this way-- Mary, who was canonically very capable of defending herself, and had hurt John very deeply, and done horrible things-- then nobody would question it as abuse. Sherlock being a man does not change that the way John treats him is unacceptable.

My point in laying all that out is that, in a more coherent narrative, that focuses on John's unresolved trauma, specifically his grief and pain after the fall and never getting the true explanation and apology he deserved, and then being treated to a very similar trauma by Mary's deception, this is an arc that actually makes sense. He escalates into the more and more unacceptable, dragged on by trauma of his own, until he crosses the line into abuse. It is a believable and honestly accurate depiction of the cycle of abuse and trauma-- and it's also not unforgivable. TLD is the first time he truly crosses that line, and in a more coherent narrative, TLD could've been the turning point in both their arcs. It could've been where John realized what he'd done, and promised to do better. It could've been where John confronted Sherlock and told him "no, all these plans of yours that just focus on you risking your life and getting hurt don't help me; if you really want to be a good friend to me, /take care of yourself/'. Sherlock and John could've finally had a face-to-face about Reichenbach, Sherlock's hiatus, and Mary's death.

We all know that that wasn't the narrative that we got. Instead, the narrative itself seems to be thoroughly convinced that the beating was justified. Not even because of John's unresolved issues about the fake suicide, because that was never even once mentioned-- but just because Sherlock is Weird and A Cock and says mean things sometimes, it was deserved. That, despite John trying to insist to us otherwise, Sherlock really is a machine, and isn't affected at all: not by being tortured in Serbia, not by being Mary's shooting target, and not by being John's punching bag. Greg, Sherlock's police officer friend that dropped literally everything to call a helicopter when he thought Sherlock needed help, didn't seem to think it was a big deal. Mycroft, and, of all people, MRS. HUDSON, didn't seem to even care. It was literally never addressed again, by anyone. In the Hug Scene, the scene I was expecting to be an apology, /John/ even ends up being comforted by /Sherlock/, with NO MENTION of the beating whatsoever.

The only conclusion to draw is that the narrative agrees with Sherlock: John was entitled.

The beating, if handled properly, could've been a believable reaction to trauma, and if handled properly, it could've been a forgivable one. Instead, it turned into something that betrayed the entire premise of the show. It says that Sherlock probably deserves whatever he gets because he's just a heartless bastard, and he isn't affected by it because he's a machine, and meanwhile, for all that he's meant to be "the heart", John apparently has just given up being a friend and simply beats Sherlock to make him behave. It says that these two bring out the worst in each other and honestly probably shouldn't be in the same room ever again.

Obviously, I'm rejecting that premise in this fic. But it's the story that canon gave us, and that instead of addressing it, TFP swept it all under the rug for the sake of some sort of ridiculous twist ending.

[fanexus-dot-net]

The Philosophy of Fanexus

As Fanexus comes together, we want to provide you with an outline of the philosophy that underlies the platform. The features and TOS that we are currently working on all aim to align with the following principles. 

A Social Media Platform for Fandoms and Creators

Fanexus is a social media platform and wiki that aims to meet the needs of both fandoms and original creators. We were inspired to create Fanexus after following online fandom and creative communities to various platforms over the years, only to find that most of these sites failed to meet our needs as fans and as creators of both fanworks and original content. While using these platforms, we started to come up with ideas for features that would enhance our experiences. Eventually, we realised we had the skills and the means to take these ideas and use them to create a social media platform that could meet these needs.  

Organised and Accessible Fan and Indie Content

One of our core principles is that fanworks and indie content have just as much value as official and mainstream material. The emotions evoked by these works can be just as profound, the ideas they explore can be just as engrossing, and the overall importance they have to a person can be just as significant. As this content often doesn’t aim or need to have the same broad appeal as official and mainstream works, it can venture into places that mainstream media won’t tread, thus having the potential to explore more daring ideas, and elicit more powerful emotions in some people.

Despite fan and indie works generating as much personal value as official and mainstream material, they lack the same degree of organisation, accessibility, and permanency. If someone is looking to track down a piece of mainstream media or find information about it, they will generally find a record of its existence, a way to access the media itself, and information that helps put it in context with any related pieces of media. By contrast, if someone is seeking out a piece of fan or indie work they once enjoyed, it’s common to find that it’s been deleted, or has simply been buried under so much subsequent content that it’s impossible to find again.  

Another common experience is discovering a piece of fan or indie content that is part of a larger set of works, but lacking information explaining the context of the content with respect to the larger collection. Picture finding an image of an original character from a story crafted by multiple roleplayers and wanting to learn more about the character and story. Different parts of the story and information about its characters and lore may have been provided by each of the different roleplayers on their own blogs, across a mixture of platforms, and may have each used slightly different tagging conventions. Some posts explaining vital things may have been mistagged or deleted. The lack of centralised organisation that can give people an easy starting point and order in which to consume some fan and indie content presents a significant barrier of entry for people who might tremendously enjoy certain works.  

A similar experience can occur when a newcomer enters an old fandom that has developed a vast collection of fanon characterisation, worldbuilding, and terminology. Many of these conventions were likely established years ago on platforms that may not exist anymore. The newcomer may feel completely lost when encountering this fanon material, and unless there’s an up to date and easy to locate fanon wiki providing explanations for all of these concepts and terms, or a seasoned fan is willing to provide a full explanation, it can take a significant investment of time for them to figure out what all of it means. As a result, entering such an established fandom can be more confusing and inaccessible than it needs to be.

Fanexus endeavours to give fan and indie content a level of organisation, accessibility, and permanency that elevates it to a level closer to that of mainstream content. One of the means by which we seek to do this is by including wiki functionality. Creators will be able to make wiki pages for things such as their OCs, AUs and roleplays, with summaries containing key points, and guides linking to the relevant content, while explaining the order in which it should be consumed. Fandoms can also work together to create wiki pages explaining fanon concepts and terminology, and the number of different ways they are interpreted by the fandoms. As Fanexus grows, we seek to find ways to make fanworks and indie content increasingly organised and accessible.

Promote Creative Diversity and Enable Tailored Experiences

Fanexus cherishes variety – the more differing fandoms, interests, creative activities, interpretations, preferences, and styles that we can cater to, the better. We stand in opposition of homogenisation in fandom, especially where only particular interpretations and preferences are favoured, while whatever doesn’t comply with these dominant readings and tastes gets pushed to the margins or is attacked for daring to stray. We don’t want any fan to feel they have to alter their headcanons or style to better conform to whatever is preferred by the majority or vocal segments of their fandom. If someone doesn’t enjoy the ideas and creative styles that are predominant in their fandom, we want them to be able to avoid this content, and instead find material that does appeal to them.  

We promote the idea of fandom as an infinite multiverse of possibilities, where each interpretation is equally legitimate, and no reading invalidates any other, because in an endless multitude of fictional realities, all ideas and desires can co-exist. We hold that even canon doesn’t have more legitimacy than the vast array of fan reinterpretations and reimaginings it inspires. We think that it’s important to financially support canon content as it helps the generation of more of what we all love, but we believe that fanworks are just as real and just as enjoyable. By extension, we hold that fanworks that stray far from and wildly contradict the canon that inspired them are no less important than fanworks that fit in seamlessly with that canon. It’s helpful to have a fandom in agreement over what’s explicitly canon so that fanworks can be labelled as either canon-compliant or canon-deviant, to let content consumers know what they’re in for – canon is a point of reference for fandom. However, labelling something as canon-deviant isn’t an admission of inferiority, it’s simply another way of contributing to the rich variety of the fandom experience.

In order to help promote this variety we desire, we endeavour to facilitate the creation of subcultures within broader fandom cultures, so that people who don’t vibe with the predominant interpretations and preferences in a fandom can form communities with like-minded fans. We provide fine-tuned filter features to help people avoid content they dislike without missing out on what they do want to see. The tagging system enables the creation of tags for very specific concepts that are connected to tags for related concepts; for example, a character from a franchise with many continuities can have a main tag for that character, but also have subordinate character tags for each continuity they appear in. A tag can also be created for a specific fanon characterisation of that character which ignores certain canon developments. Through this, fans who only enjoy certain versions or interpretations of a character, even if those versions are fanon, can choose to follow tags for only those versions that appeal to them. The relationships between the tags also mean that people who enjoy certain things can investigate the related tags for those concepts, and find new things that interest them.

We hope to foster diversity in creativity by promoting an atmosphere that celebrates variety; by allowing people to pursue their niche interests without getting in each other’s way, and by creating a map of concepts that makes it easy to navigate a vast range of branching ideas. We want to be home to fanworks ranging from those that perfectly replicate the themes, characterisation, and tone of canon, to those that go completely wild by throwing in every indulgent and out-there idea, thus creating something entirely unique and far removed from the canon that inspired it. We want people to analyse canon through a vast range of different lenses, arriving at all sorts of wildly conflicting but fascinating theories and interpretations. We want for fanworks to inspire fanworks of their own and to be the basis of analysis themselves. We want to be home to a dizzying collection of original works. We want people to use Fanexus to build their own little universes that reflect their own set of interests and ideas, and then be able to find like-minded people to share them with.  

Combat Toxicity and Promote Respectful Discussion  

People deserve respect, compassion, and the freedom to pursue whatever makes them happy, as long as they’re not harming others in this pursuit. No one should ever be seriously threatened or dehumanised – especially when it comes to traits outside their control such as race, gender, sexuality, disability, etc., or over interests and lifestyle choices that aren’t causing harm to others, such as taste in fiction and ships. Over the last few years, toxicity in fandom has risen to truly alarming levels. Countless fans have been degraded, threatened with violence, and doxxed over things as benign as the characters, ships, and tropes they enjoy in fiction. This is completely unacceptable to us.  

We stand firmly in opposition to this bullying, and we will strive to make Fanexus a place where fans and creatives are free to express themselves and enjoy their passions, without fear of becoming a target of harassers. By giving people the ability to form private communities where they can carve out their own spaces with like-minded fans, and by providing more fine-tuned privacy and filtration features to make it easier for users to avoid content they don’t want to see, we hope this will limit the germination of toxicity. However, we want Fanexus’s commitment to combating fandom bullying to extend beyond simply providing better privacy and filtration features; an anti-bullying stance will be written into the Terms of Use and will be actively promoted by the administrators and staff. Anyone seeking to bring the cruelty and toxicity that festers on other platforms to Fanexus will not be tolerated.

Our stance on bullying does not mean that we are opposed to criticism of behaviour, ideas and works, as long as the discourse is respectful. We ask people to understand that there is a line between critical discussion of a person’s behaviours, ideas, and works, and personally attacking someone because of beliefs they may hold or something they have created. A user expressing a view that constitutes hate speech or harassment should be reported, and can subsequently be dealt with by our moderators. If someone publicly expresses a view you feel to be disagreeable, you are certainly free to engage in debate with them if you can do so in a constructive way. If you don’t feel that you are able to criticise their behaviours without making personal attacks, we ask you to block them instead of generating unnecessary conflict.

We believe that a loss of nuance and the rise of absolutist thinking bears much responsibility for the surge of toxicity in fandom, and we want to combat it by promoting critical thinking. We understand that many people use fandom as a form of escapism where they can switch off their brains, and we welcome fans and creators who come for indulgence without any deep thought behind it. However, we also value users who contribute thoughtful and rational analysis and discussion, and we seek to encourage and promote such engagement for those who are interested.  

Harm Reduction Without Censorship

Fanexus should be an environment that is both enjoyable and safe, but we also want it to be a liberating space where people are able to freely express themselves artistically, indulge in the things that make them happy, and be their authentic selves. Many people desire lives that are enriched by a variety of experiences, from serene to thrilling, from comforting to confronting, from pulp to profound. Art and fiction can be one of the best ways to live out the full breadth of the human (and inhuman) experience without harming oneself or others. We believe that so long as they’re not causing harm, people should have the right to live the lives they want to live, and we support their right to use art and fiction towards that end. This doesn’t mean that there is no risk in using fantasy as a way of exploring some experiences – some people can struggle with the separation between fantasy and reality, or be misled into thinking some behaviours presented in art and fiction are normal or acceptable in the real world. We don’t believe that censorship is the solution to this problem.

We seek to reduce harm while limiting as few freedoms as possible. We don’t permit malicious behaviors that actively intend to cause harm, such as bullying, while we aim to remedy the harms of other behaviours by addressing their cause. If harm stems from naivety or misunderstanding, we seek to remedy these factors. When harm is caused as an unintended side-effect of an activity with a neutral or positive aim, then instead of banning the activity, we first endeavour to find if the harmful side-effect can be separated from the activity and its benefits. If there is a way to satisfactorily reduce harm without limiting freedoms, that is the path we will take.

We hold that censorship is a poor method for addressing the potential harms caused by art and fiction, not only because it limits freedom, but also because it doesn’t address the underlying problem. If a person isn’t exposed to any art or fiction that could potentially give them harmful ideas, they are still vulnerable as they can acquire those ideas from many other sources. Rather than attempting the impossible task of shielding people from ever encountering difficult or confronting concepts, we maintain that it’s more effective to assist in their education to help prevent them from taking the wrong messages away from these concepts when they do encounter them.

Fanexus endeavours to allow as much artistic freedom as possible (excepting content made with malicious intent as a form of harassment), because we understand that art and fiction are not reality, and things that would be unacceptably dangerous or harmful in real life don’t carry the same risk in fantasy. We know that many people who enjoy harmful and taboo things in art and fiction do not endorse these things in reality, and that vicariously experiencing these things through fantasy is extremely different from experiencing them in real life. We seek to promote this understanding of the distinction between fantasy and reality, so that it’s clear that something presented as enjoyable in fiction is not necessarily something that would be enjoyable or safe to partake in personally.  People should know to think critically about things they encounter in art and fiction before they decide to emulate them in reality.  

There are far more dangerous things on the internet than just morally complex and darkly indulgent fantasy, and Fanexus seeks to provide education to help protect against these threats as well. We intend to create a repository of resources to educate people about the risks they can encounter online, such as predators, scammers, hate movements, and dangerous misinformation. Our aim is to protect people by empowering them with knowledge that will help them in many spheres of life.

Evolve in Response to User Feedback  

Fandom and technology both evolve, and we acknowledge that a platform like Fanexus must evolve with them. We intend to seek direct feedback from our userbase in order to discover what features will assist them in creating and maintaining the content Fanexus is dedicated to. However, while our platform will evolve over time, we pledge to remain committed to the philosophy that motivated its creation.