#'you were never afraid of the dark' 'what 10 year old isn't afraid of the dark' MARYSE WHEN I FIND YOU

[darcyolsson]

loved your post defending clary but what is your opinion on jace??? i feel like he's equally controversial

you know how sometimes rereading books a few years later changes your opinion on certain characters entirely bc instead of being some older hot brooding hero they're now just some kid in your eyes. that's me with jace right now

in fact you may have asked his at the perfect moment because i had a whole breakdown about this last night in the group chat last night i feel like this text sums it up quite well

he has 2 to 6 parents depending on how you look at it and for at least 17 years none of them ever loved him. he was fully prepared to go back to his cartoonishly evil kidapper dad who physically abused him bc at least there he felt wanted. he just wanted maryse to read him a bedtime story when he was 10 like she did for alec and isabelle. she never did. he just wants to be loved so so desperately. he can be genuinely hilarious and charming but now i'm looking back on it, it mostly reads like that too is just a way he taught himself to get the attention he wants so desperately. it's implied that he's been suicidal/has engaged in acts of self-harm since he arrived with the lightwoods when he was literally 10.

i think most people (me included!!) just remember him as a sarcastic rude asshole which to be fair is very much who he is HOWEVER every single time we get jace pov he reveals another 5 reasons why he's actually kind of valid in his assholery. this boy is playing DSM-5 bingo and babes his card is FULL and it's literally so upsetting to read. he's just a very sad kid and i'm literally on my way to nyc adoption papers in hand

[cult-of-the-eye]

( this is on the post of the list of The Fears from scariest to least scary)

please tell me your thoughts about The Fears

1. To me the corruption is the scariest cause wdym there's something inside me slowly rotting me inside to out and there's nothing I can do about it apart from let it take me and it hurts and there's no known cure (btw I am deathly afraid of getting cancer)

2. Flesh isn't as scary as corruption cause like it could be removed from the idea of life, we used to go to the Bangladeshi butchers and watch then cut slabs of frozen fish using their huge machines and shit but also gore and body horror kinda terrifies me, it goes hand in hand with medical horror, like someone's been sliced in half and you realise just how fragile human life is, how at the end we're just organs that are pumping blood and moving chemicals around.

3. Slaughter is less scary than the others cause it could be comforting being killed as a collective but also the theme of death continues, the idea of masses of bodies is so very human in it's causes and consequences and doesn't feel so fictional

4. Buried is less scary than the others cause it's less about death but listen. my entire life I've been terrified that I'm just gonna get stuck somewhere. Like I once couldn't get a churi (bracelet) off my wrist and I got so panicked I just smashed my wrist against a wall to break it off. So yah.

5. The stranger is less scary than the buried cause I could run away from the stranger but the idea that this person I know is not at all who I thought they were is bone chilling. It feels like betrayal at its core.

6. Dark is less scary than the stranger cause over the years I've gotten slightly less scared of the dark but I've gotten more scared of people not being who I thought they were. The dark is comforting, it's a sensory neutral and a life saver on some days. Other days i sprint up the stairs cause I'm scared the murderers hiding in the cupboards will stab me.

7. Mmm now that I think about it I'd probably put web a little higher cause I despise the idea of being manipulated, like don't fucking do that to me, if you want something just fucking ask. But maybe I was right to put it here cause it mostly just makes me irritated than scared.

8. This is the mm kinda chill territory I think cause spiral is just how I spend my life, my brain is not a fun place to be so yeah I'd enjoy being the incarnation of indescribable for the rest of my existence but also the idea of losing my control over myself is a little scary despite my having so much experience in it

9. The eye is ok, I feel some comfort in being watched over, never been left alone, constantly needing information like I get it, I was an autistic 7 year old gorging myself on horrible histories once. But also like if eyes started growing on me I'd start screaming and never stop but I think that's more body horror than beholding

10. The vast is so fucking comforting like the idea that I could just be inconsequential in the face of everything, I could maybe just relax and float in the nothingness for a while. But then also I'm scared of drowning so like I'm bringing arm bands

11. Everything ends. I'm good with consistency and the idea that everything ends makes me feel like there's something to keep going for. I'm not good with endings but what comes after, I am extremely skilled at.

12. I adore the desolation. Oh how I've fantasised about giving it all up, watching it burn before me, the cruel satisfaction in it. I like how quiet everything is after it's been destroyed. A clean slate.

13. Yeah so I have re occurring dreams about being hunted. I think it's half the idea about being wanted enough for someone to pursue me if I run but also the comfort of survival mode. The comfort of knowing the fight won't ever end.

14. The lonely. Oh man. Let's just say I'm on 40mg of fluoxetine for a reason.

[cherryanony]

IN DEFENSE OF ELENA GILBERT: Why Do Yall Hate Emotional Women?

Vampire Diaries - Elena Gilbert pictured doing nothing wrong

HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

I started watching The Vampire Diaries back in 2016, right as it was coming to its long overdue close. To say I was obsessed was an understatement.

I would spend hours, days, WEEKS, consuming fan content, rewatching episodes and scenes over and over agin, discussing stupid plot points and writing descions that were made and throughout all of that one question has always dangled over my head...

Why does everybody hate Elena Gilbert?

Despite The Vampires Diaries being a dark supernatural teen drama filled to the brim with freaks & weirdos, murderers, psychopaths, evil forces and THE ACTUAL LITERAL DEVIL... Elena Gilbert reigns as the most hated character on the show by viewers.

But, why?

Elena Gilbert starts off the show as a 17 year old teenage girl who just experienced some of the craziest trauma any person, let alone TEENAGER, could ever go through. She was in the car with her parents when they died off Wickory Bridge and now suffers from a serious case of survivors guilt, a trait and mo motif she struggles with and must come to terms with throughout the show.

She falls for two vampire brothers who bring nothing but more hell into her life, she finds out she's adopted, her birth mother is a vampire and a piece of shit, her birth father is her insane negligent Uncle John, she's lost more loved ones than one can count over and over again, and she's constantly paranoid and never safe because she's a doppleganger with special blood that many dangerous supernatural creatures want.

"But she's whinyyy and a crybabyyy😩..."

As if one of her friends or family aren't on the brink of death every episode. Elena didn't do enough crying if we're being honest.

Elena is by no means a perfect, innocent character. A lot of people are right about her flaws; she can be very selfish with a what-about-me & and look-at-me-this-isn't-you complex and she's constantly getting away with a lot shit since she's the main character. And a lot people say she never faces any consequences but.... she does.... and it's called...

VAMPIRE!ELENA

THAT'S IT! That's where everyone says her character went completely wrong, her character completely falls apart. But I'd argue that Vampire!Elena is a culmination of all her descions coming back to bite her in the ass.

Throughout S1-3, Elena struggles with survivors guilt. She should've gone off the bridge with her parents. She's depressed, she's moody, she's "whiny" all while feeling like the supposed "love of her life" is trying to "fix her" when she's not ready.

In season 4 episode 10, Elena clearly states that Stefan looks at her like she's a broken toy that needs to be fixed. I could go on a whole rant on what I think Stefan's problems are but to sum it all up — Stefan turned into a vampire at 17 years old — a teenager — and spends his entire vampire life struggling with his heightened personality and his Ripper Gene which led him down a path to losing everyone he's ever loved.

(He killed his own abusive father, lost his best friend due to his own brother who he forced to turn with him and now wants him dead after a wedge is driven between them.)

I say all that to say I get Stefan's character. He's scared and insecure, similar to Elena, to be alone and lose everyone he cares about. However, all of his efforts to better himself and relationships only drives people away. People bring up Damon killing Elena's brother, Jeremy, all the time

(again.. HE WAS WEARING THE GILBERT RING! HE'S FINE! YOU DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT JEREMY, NOBODY DOES!)

But NOBODY talks about Stefan endangering Jeremy and almost getting him killed by forcing him to continue the Hunter's Mark because he thought Elena being human again would make her be in love with him again. (sorry but that's fucking insane😭😭😭!!)

Stefan wasn't only afraid of losing Elena, he was also afraid of losing her to his brother. All these efforts drove Elena away, right into the arms of the person he wanted to keep her away from.

I think Elena felt as if Stefan was just like everyone else who wanted "the old Elena" back. The person that Elena use to be before the accident that the show alludes to in the first season. But that Elena is dead and gone, she'll never be the same person she was before going off that bridge. Apart of her died that night and again when she went off the bridge for the second time and became a vampire.

Elena struggles with being a vampire and basically dying twice and instead of being supportive Stefan immediately wants to fix and change her. Damon is the only one she feels free and alive with. A statement Elena makes herself throughout the show. Despite the stupid discourse over the Sire Bond, Damon was the one she felt the safest with after that plotline was resolved.

But enough about comparing those brothers, this is about ELENA! You know who she gets compared to..?

KATHERINE

KATHERINE IS A LOSER!

Before you raise your pitchforks, I love Katherine. Great character, great villain, but she's a loser!

People LOVE to compare Katherine and Elena!

"Katherine's such a badass and Elena is a whiny crybaby." But I would argue the opposite.

See Katherine's backstory here, despite everything Katherine's been through, the show makes a point that while, yes, Katherine is a survivor, she's also an avoidant runner. She spends 500 years running from the big bad Klaus and once he fianlly lets her go she continues torture, manipulate, and harrass people.

She continues her streak of only whining and complaining about the life she never had because of the things that happened to her, which... fair!

However, despite being given several chances with a romance with Elijah, a life with her daughter as a mother, all the people she's ever wronged helping her and forgiving her on her death bed, taking over Elena's body and essentially starting over in a new life and even being THE QUEEN OF HELL... it was never enough. Nothing was ever enough for Katherine.

She was given many chances to change, to finally LIVE HER LIFE but she chose to continue down her path of destruction. Which, in my opinion, is fine for her character! LET KATHERINE BE THE SAD AND TRAGIC CHARACTER SHE IS! She doesn't have to be some anti-hero badass.

The contrast of Katherine and Elena, two girls who had their lives and innocence stolen from them at a young age thanks to tragic events out of their control and two vampire brothers, is great and executed as well as TVD writing could do (infamously known for shitty writing and plot holes but I digress).

The pieces to the K/E puzzle were so obviously placed, Katherine who was jealous of Elena living the life she never got, chose the path of selfishness and power, and Elena chose the path of love and regrowth and not letting her past define her.

But viewers missed the big picture. Katherine is a survivor but where did that get her? Dead and unloved. Besides freedom from Klaus, she didn't get a single thing she desired. Not a life with Stefan or Elijah or as a mother with her daughter or as Elena Gilbert or Queen of Hell! No! She lost everything and blamed Elena. SHE LOST! SHE'S A LOSER!

She survived, but she didn't live.

In my opinion, Elena is the real survivor. She didn't let her past consume and lead her to a similar fate as Katherine. She chose to be selfless and to love again after being hurt.

She chose to be alive.

SO BACK TO THE PROMPT....

Why do y'all hate emotional women?

"Elena has experienced more grief than anyone I've ever met." - Sherrif Liz Forbes

Every character has went through a lot and have done similar, if not worst, things as Elena as a result yet she's the most hated character?

There's a pattern of fans hating certain female characters who are more sensitive and cry instead of bury their feelings and just punch a man and suddenly get crowned "Most Badass Female Character". Characters, not just female, expressing their emotions is strong and badass and might inspire audiences to do the same and not keep grief in and become self destructive. It's healthy and natural and makes the character not so one note.

It's not fair to compare Elena's trauma and experiences to other characters (espically not Bonnie, that's topic for a whole other post). But why do other characters get a pass despite being ten times more flawed and problematic?

Why are certain characters able to cry, complain, self destruct, fuck someone over, etc but Elena can't?

Genunine question.. let's discuss...

-*- I wasn't able to fully delve into my thoughts on Elena and certain TVD characters, plot points, theme, etc because this post will be 50 pages long. This is the brief version.

***There will be a part 2 to this post where I delve deeper into the trend of hating characters like Elena.

[ladyhindsight]

TW: transphobia

this is that epilogue cob edit

original:

edited:

that is not a term i'm familiarized with. the word itself was translated as the latin american trans identity 'travesti' but it doesn't mean the same thing. so i can't speak on the wrongness of it, but i did notice that it was also used in draco dormiens chapter 4

i wouldn't judge people for terms they used +15 years ago, this is more a matter of recollection of stuff that isn't aknowledged than a matter of pointing fingers imo

Combining these two messages together since they're about the same thing, regarding this post. Here is Clare's post about TID covers that R linked where Clare wrote that:

"There is no real secret hidden meaning about who is on what cover, except that the marketing department didn't want a boy on Clockwork Princess. They may perhaps have been worried that everyone would think Will's dark secret was that he was a transvestite and was always stealing Jessamine's clothes."

Apparently the term belonged to Clare's vocabulary 10+ years ago, and I think that changing it in the newer City of Bones edition was a sensible choice. If Clare/Clare's editor did not know the offensiveness of the word, they probably would've otherwise left it unchanged. To add to stuff like killer and who molests cats, yyyikes.

I think the term 'transvestite' in nowadays is mostly considered antiquated and offensive, also because it was frequently used before (and in the recent years still is?) as a derogatory term and also rather interchangeably with anything regarding gender expression. For instance, people got terms such as transgender and transvestite mixed up or thought they held the same meaning, which they do not.

There are outdated and old fashioned definitions of the word which all add to the negative connotations because of the defamatory use. By definition it means cross-dressing but in my understanding 'cross-dressing' is the preferred term. There's also history with clinical use in psychology and psychiatry that I am not really familiar with.

As to the changes made into newer editions in general, I think is suspicious and sneaky not to acknowledge them. One of the major ones was the City of Bones one where Jace tells Clary that:

"it's only been recently that women have been Shadowhunters along with men. I mean, there have always been women in the Clave—mastering the runes, creating weaponry, teaching the Killing Arts—but only a few were warriors, ones with exceptional abilities. They had to fight to be trained. Maryse was a part of the first generation of Clave women who were trained as a matter of course—and I think she never taught Isabelle how to cook because she was afraid that if she did, Isabelle would be relegated to the kitchen permanently."

Which later on would not make sense as female characters in TID and TLH could not exist as they do today if this was the angle Clare kept in her series. Which was nonsensical to begin with because why would you incapacitate your already small fighting force by not letting half of your people fight?

These are fun to spot, though.

[magdalenawho]

A night dream of mine

Right now I'm rereading everything I wrote last night and find it extremely ridiculous. It's funny that I've finally decided to start recording my thoughts, my night dreams and all the things happening in my life  that excite me a lot. You know, I used to think that my thoughts are not worth being recorded, like, who am I? What is so special about me and everything that is going on in my head? Everything has been mentioned before me and I'm not going to discover anything new for you. But then a funny fact struck my mind: if no one cares, it definitely takes all responsibility from me and broadens my horizons in the most beautiful way. So, here I am, writing down the first chapter of my diary, which, I hope, will turn into some kind of therapy for me. It's not even a chapter, a sort of introduction to a night dream of mine that I had last night. The dream that will give you an image of what kind of night dreams I usually have.

Well, it all started at my apartment. There was me, my husband, my sister, my gran and my mom. My father wasn't there for some reason. Maybe because we haven't been on good terms recently. Oh, and my sister was about 10 years old even though she is 21 now. That's funny, isn't it. I don't remember the reason why we had decided to gather but we were all having fun together, chatting, playing with our cat, Mr Peach. But I do remember that I'd never ever felt such a strong connection with all of them. Like, I was watching my little sister and I was going to cry, so sweet she was. It was as if I were one with all of them. I was so full of love and devotion that I wanted that moment last forever. And the very moment I thought about that, I found myself somewhere outside, in the night. It was a very beautiful starry night, I could even see a lot of constellations. But something made me anxious and desperate. I was looking at my house from the distance but I couldn't see my family there. The windows were dark. It was obvious that nobody was there. And then it struck my mind that I somehow ended up in limbo. My whole family now was not in the same dimension with me and there was no chance to see them again. More than that, I was totally alone in that limbo. There was not a soul in there. As soon as I realised that I burst into tears. I realised that I was going to spend my eternity at that place.And then, all if the sudden, I looked at the sky again and thought, how beautiful it was. I had never seen such a beautiful sky.

Some kind of a chair appeared next to me (everything is possible when you are in limbo), I took a sit and I just stared at the sky. I kept admiring it when another idea came to my mind: you've always been alone, even if you have a family and friends, the people who love you and care about you. You are born all alone and you die being alone too. You have to put up with the fact that in the end everyone leaves. Not because they stopped loving you, but because it's our destiny. You just need to take it as it is and value the moments of unity with your nearest and dearest, because one day you'll find yourself in limbo (or whatever you believe in), and the only companion for you will be you yourself. Understanding that may hurt right now but there's no need to be afraid of it, since when you find yourself in another dimension, your mindset will change to another level. I hope my confession didn't tire you. I want you to know how much I appreciate you reading this.

Love,

Magda

[chickennugqueen]

1-50 please

for anyone that doesn't want to know all this info, pls feel free to scroll lmao

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else? nope! i very much enjoy who i am

2: What is your full name? cortney rose lesovoy (follow me on instagram @/cortneylesovoy

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for? i'm 25, usually get mistaken for 18-22 lmao

4: Have you ever dyed your hair? yes! it was purple and pink for a bit, but i'm back to my natural color

5: What’s your eye color? dark brown

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it i like my body. i used to struggle with an eating disorder, and it's something that does still affect me to this day, but i also love myself and am learning to be as comfortable as i can be with it.

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings? some tattoos (more soon pls) and a couple piercings

8: What would you say is your best quality? my empathy and kindness

9: What are you really bad at? being patient and holding back my opinion on things

10: What talent do you wish you had? would like to get better at videography

11: Are you nice to everyone? everyone except fascists, nazis, and people who aren't accepting of all humanity

12: What do you think about the most? the man i adore

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself i really like who i am as a person. i'll always have growing to do but i'm happy with who i am, so i don't dislike anything about me.

14: What is your least favorite word? not sure i have one

15: What is your favorite word? anything that sounds like flabberghasted or bamboozled or something silly

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad? dad for sure

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger? always even though i'm shy

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone because i'm afraid of disappointment duh

19: Are you lying about anything right now? not that i'm aware of

20: Have you kissed someone older than you? of course

21: Do you believe in love at first sight? nope!

22: Do you believe in soulmates? i used to! but no, i don't. love is putting in the work.

23: Are looks important? eh, not really. looks will catch my attention but won't make me stay, whereas i can fall for someone's personality and not be attracted to them at first

24: Opinion on relationship age differences as long as its two consenting adults aka both over the age of 21, go for it.

25: Would you date someone off the Internet? for sure

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl? who hasn't?

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? of course. a universal experience

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now? nope!

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? absolutely during my teenage years

30: Have you ever liked your best friend? yes! when we were in college

31: How does someone win your heart? similar politics, can banter with me, isn't afraid of my past trauma, will just stick by me when shit gets hard, is my best friend

32: What turns you on? emotional connection

33: What turns you off? so many things lmao, but definitely people being too sexual right off the bat before i get to know them.

34: Do you get jealous easily? depends on the person! at the place i'm at right now, not usually

35: What is your definition of cheating? if you haven't discussed it with your partner and there's a reason you won't tell them, it's cheating.

36: Do you forgive betrayal? depends what it is. i'm a forgiving person, usually

37: Have you ever been cheated on? never been in a relationship

38: Have you ever cheated on someone? see above

39: How often do you listen to music? every dang day

40: First concert you attended hilary duff!!

41: Last movie you watched shit i don't really watch movies.... probably black widow??

42: Favorite type of movie sucker for drama and romcoms

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? a couple of my sexual assaults, yeah

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings? literally never

45: Do you fall in love easily? i don't think so. i've only loved one person.

46: Do you think people say I love you too much? nope! say it to your friends, your partners, your family, anyone you know! doesn't diminish its meaning

47: What’s your favorite holiday? christmas

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way? if someone apologizes and changes their actions or makes amends, yep!

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth? my bed i love sleeping

50: What’s your “type”? emo boys with long hair n pretty eyes for sure

[eternal-aurath]

Az's Sonic Self-Insert AU Introduction | Part 1

So in-line with making an MHA masterpost to explain those massive AUs that I've had for a while, I'm making one for my Sonic AU too. Which will be even more complicated because I've had Eternal for over 10 years and have been working with this particular version for about 7.

So without further ado, I shall put it all under the cut! This one's gonna be a LOT longer, because I have way more art on-hand than I did for MHA. Over 10 years worth of it, actually.

Alright, so I lied. This AU doesn't actually start with Eternal, technically. It starts with my very first Sonicsona from over 10 years ago, Violet.

Yes, this design was an eyesore, but bare with me. She was my original Sonicsona whom I kinda made by mistake, but damn did she open the doors. I used her for a long time, before scrapping her for reasons unknown, and making Eternal.

I later decided to bring her back as just an OC, and she's become a central part to the AU.

^ This is her current design, give or take some clothes.

-----

Now, onto Eternal. He's one of those inserts I've had long enough that he was originally a girl for many years. However, even when referring to these old designs, we're gonna use he/him for my comfort.

Eternal's original design was. An eyesore to say the least. Blue fur, blue eyes, blue clothes... I did not know color theory and I didn't know any color other than BLUE. Ignore the purple character on the left, that was an "anti" form for this Eternal who legit never got used outside of this picture.

Now lucky y'all I actually don't have much more art of this version from back in the day (That's all packed away in a cringe archive), but I do have a few more recent redraws of the design. Because sometimes I get nostalgic for where Eternal started.

After this, it becomes complicated. I cycled designs for Eternal a lot. I could never get him feeling quite right. For a long time I've sought this balance between feeling like he looks like me, whilst also having an appropriately fun Sonic style design, and also feeling like he represents what I want to be; A me who isn't afraid. Also he was shipped with Sonic.

I also just like a shitton of different aesthetics and couldn't PICK ONE. So E went through a Lot of designs. Therefore bare with me and my potentially terrible memory.

I think this is one of the oldest that I still have. There were some others between this and the blue hedgehog one, but do they matter? Not really. This one is where the Eternal we know now really began. This design is in-line with Nyx's original design (My Sly Cooper insert. Well, the first one). Putting this somewhere around 2015.

Then it transitioned into this hedgehog design. I just really love the aesthetic of the hedgehog designs, okay? Lol. And as you can probably notice, I started shipping him with Shadow. This was legit a complete accident, but Shadow has somehow claimed the top spot as my most important F/O to date. Many have come close and perhaps share his tier, but he's still got a very unique spot all his own. This was in 2016, and this is where I designated Eternal to have psychokinesis. Call me unoriginal but it's literally one of my favorite powers ever.

And then I guess I got annoyed with him being entirely dark brown, and did this design. Still actually love the hair on this one.

And then I wanted to be more "original" and not have a hedgehog design, so I tried echidna. It didn't last long because I like my fursonas having ears, I learned. Also yes, he had a hammer weapon that was inspired by Skyrim. It did not fit the Sonic aesthetic. This design and it's outfits actually set up A LOT of Eternal's aesthetic now, though.

I then did this hedgecat design. Which then transitioned back into just being a cat. I did kinda stick with for a little while at that point, at the least. Also props to me in the first pic for actually drawing him holding my phone lol

And then this design came to be. In terms of physical features, this is the design that built a lot of Eternal now. He was a fox/lynx hybrid at this point. And the colors went back to matching Nyx. I used this design quite a lot, and I think this is the design he had when I started cracking down with actually writing the fic.

And then I made him orange. Because I can. And because I got bored with brown. The one issue I had with this design was properly drawing where his orange head ended and his brown/other color hair began. Could never quite get that right.

And then it turned into this design. Which has also become like a cornerstone of E's current design. This was the design in play when I came out and Eternal officially became a he.

And this was the first drawing of him afterwards. I joked to my best friend that I always had trouble drawing boobs and chest fluff, and always thought that one of them needed to go. Turns out it was the chesticles!

And then I got bored with brown again. I missed taking advantage of how colorful Sonic characters are allowed to be. I missed expressing myself via an unusually colored animal. I missed having fun with my designs.

So, to ring in the new year of 2021 (Sort of), I started redesigning him again. The first design made specifically to be a guy.

A lot of fiddling happened. A boy do I mean A Lot. I fussed over colors a ridiculous amount. Because E is ridiculously important to me, and I needed him to feel just right. In the end...

This is where he stands now. I'm in love with this design more than I have ever loved any of his designs before. This is The One and I'm so ridiculously happy with it.

However... There's more to it, because Eternal actually has two versions. Pre-06 retcon, and Post-06 retcon. I just refer to it as Pre- and Post-retcon/reboot. And in Pre-reboot I gave him a slightly different design. I want to represent my transition through him, because his old designs kind of are a timeline of Me.

So I've let pre-retcon E have a design more similar to older ones while still adding new elements to make it still feel like Eternal as he is now.

I'm still ironing out those design details though, and I have reached the 30 image post limit, so this will be part 1 of this masterpost. Part 2 will get into the actual story and whatnot.

If you've somehow read this entire autobiography about my Sonicsonas, I applaud you immensely.

[rendevousz]

freak

avengers x teen!fem!reader

summary: you get captured during a mission and the team saves you.

warnings: language, violence, brief misogyny, torture, **NO sexual assault (because as i was proofreading, i only implied most of the torture scenes because i didn't want to write it in graphic detail and i realised the vague wordings might be misinterpreted as sexual assault which IT IS NOT, just clearing it up), and also again, my inability to write good endings

word count: 4589

notes: i just rewatched iron man 2 so that explains justin hammer LMAO also ooc justin hammer because even tho mans evil, he gets extremely um.. cruel here but anyways i hope you enjoy this!!

you were 13 when you first met the avengers and 16 when you officially joined. you grew up as one of HYDRA's experimented children and the team had found you when they raided the base that you were in.

a small, sickly-looking kid you were, sat against your cell wall, hugging your knees. 13 but you could probably pass off as a 10 year old due to how malnourished and miserable you were. burying your head in between your knees, you covered your ears as the loud gunshot noises filled the whole place. the metal door of your cell slamming open against the wall had you whimpering, hands above your head in fear.

every time the door slammed open, guards would come drag you out for more experiments so it was an instinct for you to cower in fear at the sound.

"last room in the west hall, i found a little girl."

you heard nothing because you were covering your ears, preparing yourself to be forcefully dragged by the guards to the experiment room. but it never came.

"hey," a soft voice called. you were violently shaking at this point, breathing heavily as you tried to calm down. "hey, it's okay." the voice called out again and you felt them touch your shoulders.

your head immediately jolted up, flinching away from the stranger's touch. your eyes met a blue pair as you backed away into the corner in fear. "i'm sorry! i'm sorry, i didn't mean to." the man apologised. you slowly looked up at him, observing him. he had on a full black outfit, a quiver of arrows slinging on his shoulder and he was holding onto a bow.

"don't be scared. i'm here to help," he states with his hands out, as if to calm you down. "that's what they all say." you hissed through gritted teeth and a tear-stained face, glaring at him even though that could've been a very wrong move had it been with an actual HYDRA guard.

despite the strange feeling of being safe around this man, you didn't let your guard down. that's exactly what those scientists said seven years ago. trusting kind-looking men got you into this hell you never thought you would ever escape from and you weren't going to make the same mistake again.

"clint," a red-headed female, also in all black, entered through the open door of your cell with her pistol up. at the sight of the weapon, you broke your glare towards the man. your breathing quickened and you went back to your original position before the archer came; body pressed up against your knees and covering your ears with your palms.

"i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i'll come! please don't use that on me again," you whimpered, voice muffled as your face was hidden against your knees. the woman freezes mid-walk, looking at her friend with a bewildered expression.

"nat! put that away!" clint whispered harshly, eyes glaring at the pistol in nat's hands. nat's jaw dropped in realisation, a small gasp leaving her lips as she immediately put away her weapon.

she slowly makes her way to you and clint puts his arm out before she could get closer. he looks at her with a worried expression as he shook his head, as if telling her that she can't get too close to you. nat nods understandingly, crouching down a distance from you.

"hey," she spoke softly. "i promise you that we're not here to hurt you." you kept your face hidden from her, still hugging your legs tightly. nat sighs before sitting down.

"here, let's introduce ourselves. i'm nat and this right here is clint." you hear her speak and when you slowly lifted up your head, you saw the both of them sitting down in front of you, seeming to have made themselves at home in your pathetic cell. "what's your name?"

name? you had never been able to use your name before. you always kept your own name deep in your heart despite no one ever using it, afraid you would forget it if you stopped thinking of it. the only name they ever called you here was 'number five'.

"y/n," you whispered, still doubtful about these people's intentions. you almost burst out crying when you said your name out loud. that was the first time you introduced yourself with your actual name and not the number you were given ever since you were captured.

nat must have noticed this because she immediately spoke up, trying to distract you from your consuming thoughts. "y/n...that's a pretty name for a pretty girl like you. how old are you, y/n?" she asks again.

you contemplated once more but decided it was fine. you knew you were probably going to regret trusting these two strangers but what could be worse than what HYDRA has been doing to you for years?

"13," you muttered, looking down at your lap. you were now timidly seated cross-legged, playing with the tattered hem of your shorts. you heard a small gasp from one of them and looked up to see clint with his jaw dropped.

the two adults were both thinking of the same thing. how could you be 13? you were so small and sickly-looking, they didn't even think you were older than ten, let alone an early teen.

"i know you're scared and you have all the reasons in the world to be, but i promise you, we're here to help. we'll get you out of here, only if you trust us. will you trust us?" nat says. your mind was conflicted. you were either going to finally get out of this hellhole or you were going to be taken somewhere even worse than here. but could anywhere really be worse than here?

you decided to take a leap of faith and trust these two strangers. that decision had to have been the best decision you've ever made in your life.

you were now 18, an official avenger and you had the most amazing family you could've ever asked for. they were a bit on the crazier side but could you really have a normal family when said family consisted of superheroes? but you weren't complaining. you loved these people.

they were the ones who took care of you when you thought you had no one. having been a HYDRA experiment, you had abilities the normal human didn't. said ability being shapeshifting and healing. that's why you became an avenger. your shapeshifting ability was essential during missions where you had to sneak in and you being able to heal others was crucial when medic wasn't able to be there on time.

you pretty much came along to every mission despite the adults saying you don't have to. you knew they were only doing that to protect you from dangers of all those missions but how could you not when you had such abilities? they'd be much better with you helping.

that was why you were here, in bulgaria, fighting alongside the team. well, just steve, nat, clint, bucky and tony.

justin hammer had managed to get his hands on a type of out-of-this-planet weapon that tony was also trying to retrieve, and he had big plans with it. hence why the avengers had to come where hammer had wrecked havoc in; sofia, bulgaria. he had upgraded his robots with the tech used for the stolen weapon.

with evil robots attacking the whole city, it felt like you were living the story that wanda told you of what happened in sokovia before you met the avengers.

an hour passed before all of the robots had finally been taken down and you all knew you had to get to hammer before he activates more robots to distract you guys and uses the weapon for bad things.

"tony, have you located hammer?" steve's voice sounded in your ear through the comms. you had just finished healing the nasty gash on clint's side, nat's cut on her forehead and the bruises all over bucky. you were feeling significantly weaker now, from the amount of healing you did. you stumbled slightly when you walked and bucky immediately held onto your arm. "doll, are you okay?"

"i'm fine, buck. nothing i haven't dealt with before," you told him, gently removing his grip on your arm, walking back to the quinjet.

-

"no, absolutely not. we are not sending y/n right into a death trap. she's not even strong enough right now, she just finished healing us."

you were all back at the compound now and planning a second attack on justin hammer.

"it's not a death trap, buck. and i know you're worried but she's the only choice we got. y/n, all you gotta do is sneak in as one of his henchmen and provide entrance for us. once we get in, we'll take all his guards down and get that weapon from hammer and we won't have to worry about his world domination plans anymore. it'll be over as soon as it starts and she'll be back safe with us. sound good, y/n/n?"

"yeah, sure." you agreed, already having a person in mind that you were going to change yourself to.

-

the plan had gone just as steve wanted and they managed to raid justin hammer's building, tony stealing the very item that could've aided in the massacre of millions. justin and his henchmen managed to escape the building before the avengers could catch them.

"well, that was anticlimactic," tony scoffs, already making his way to the quinjet. "but good job, y/n. you saved the day once again."

he expected to hear a laugh from you, like you usually did, being the only one who ever responds to him after missions. but instead he was met with silence. "kid?" still no answer.

"y/n, where are you?" steve panicked, finally realising that you were the only one who hasn't responded in a hot minute. "y/n/n, this isn't funny." he breathed out.

"she's...she's gone."

-

"well, well, well," a voice spoke right as you woke up from your slumber. you squinted, noticing that you were in some sort of dark room with only one light bulb right above you. "what do we have here?"

a figure walks right in the light and you could barely make out justin hammer's ugly face with how dizzy you felt. "if it isn't the little freak." he states condescendingly, smirking down at your helpless position, both wrists and ankles cuffed onto the metal chair you were sat on. you struggled against the restraints, trying to get free but to no avail.

your breathing quickened, your current vulnerable state reminding you of your later years in HYDRA. they had started off experimenting on you on a metal gurney but as you grew older, you realised that what they were doing to you was bad so you started fighting back. that ended you up on a metal restraint chair instead of the gurney, strapped to the chair with cuffs on your wrists and ankles.

this felt like deja vu. the same panic you felt, the same breathing difficulties, the same amount of effort put into trying to get out of the restraints. "you should know, princess, that that doesn't work." hammer chuckled, a fake pout on his lips as he crouched in front of you, a rough hand on your cheek. you instinctively jerked away from his touch, to which he paid no mind to because he had expected that. he then grabbed your chin harshly, turning your head up towards him. you glared at him.

"you think i didn't know what you did? snuck in as one of my men using your freaky powers? not to mention useless. imagine having powers but not being able to use them to even escape from mere humans," he laughs in your face, harshly letting go of your chin, throwing your head backwards. "you tell me where stark planned to bring the weapon and i'll let you pretty little thing go."

"no."

before you could even comprehend, his fist came flying at your face and your head dropped to the side at the impact. your left cheekbone was throbbing and you could already tell you were gonna have a black eye. despite the pain, it wasn't something you weren't used to. you were an avenger, after all. getting decked in the face was practically in the contract.

he grabbed your chin once again, pulling your head upwards to face him. "you're gonna tell me where it is or i'm gonna make you regret it."

you looked up at him with a bored look. he punched you again. and again. and again. until you could taste the blood on your tongue. "think you wanna tell me now, sweetheart?"

"never. not to someone like you."

the man seemed to get a kick out of beating you up because he punched you again in the face. your whole face was pretty much numb now and the metallic taste in your mouth intensified. you smirked at the man before you, chuckling darkly.

"sure, beat up the helpless girl. that's the only way you can beat me, right? when i'm all tied up? what a man,"

his hand was around your throat within a second and he forced you to look him in the eyes again. "sweetheart, you're a girl. tied or not, you're still weak. not even with that useless power of yours."

taking advantage of how close his face was to yours, you gathered as much bloody saliva in your mouth before spitting it in his face.

it was very much the wrong thing to do because after he wiped off his face, he left the room and two men came in, various tools in hand for their fun with you.

-

"stark! my buddy! how's it going?" justin hammer's face appeared on the screen in the conference room, where the avengers were having a meeting about your possible whereabouts.

"where is she?!" wanda growled, standing up abruptly.

"what ever do you mean?" hammer smirked, feigning innocence. "you know what we mean. where is she?" steve spoke authoritatively, trying to control his anger at the sight of the man's face.

"i'll tell you where your thing is if you tell me where my thing is." he smiled wickedly. this caused wanda to get angrier. "y/n is not a thing! and the weapon was never yours in the first place!" vision held onto her to calm her down and it worked because she sat back down, though still glaring at the screen.

"oh she's not a thing? seems like it to me, though." he smirked and the team frowned, not understanding what he meant until they heard screams and justin's smirk widening at the sound. what a sick bastard. "what are you doing to her?!" bucky screamed, knocking his chair back as he stood up.

"i don't know, you tell me." he chuckles, and the screen changes to the live footage of you in the restraint chair with the two men in the room.

you were no longer fighting back now, just sat limply with your head dropped to the side. the first hour with them, you had been fighting back like you did with justin, despite the restraints, but now entering the second hour, you were too exhausted for anything.

your left eye had been swollen shut, you could barely breathe through your nose, your cheeks were throbbing like hell and your bottom lip was busted. your head was the only thing that moved freely when hit so the men seemed to find satisfaction the most when they punched you in the face. though that didn't stop them from inflicting pain on other parts of you.

"let her go, she's just a kid!" sam exclaimed, his grip on the edge of the table tightening to control his anger. peter and wanda were crying looking at the awful state you were in, clint, tony and bruce were silent in shock, steve and bucky were getting increasingly angry as the abuse continued.

"are you going to tell us where stark is keeping the weapon or have you not gotten enough?" one of the two men was heard asking, pulling your hair back to make you look up at him. you look at with your half-opened right eye, breathing heavily. "my answer's never gonna change no matter how many times you ask."

he scoffs, stepping back before the other man swings a bat right at your stomach. the air was immediately knocked out of your lung. the men laughed as you coughed up blood profusely. this caused wanda to get more hysterical.

"well, looks like she wants more. i'll call back when she's had enough. toodles," he waves his fingers at the camera with a sinister smirk before abruptly ending the call.

the room went silent after the call, save for bucky and sam breathing heavily from the anger they felt. bucky then turned to steve, pain could be seen on his face. "you said she would be safe."

"i–i'm sorry, buck. i didn't know he was gonna take her with him." steve was still frozen in shock, the image of you on the chair now permanently ingrained in his brain. in everyone's brains actually.

"guys, gear up, he's in colorado."

all heads turned towards natasha and she looked back at them with a 'what?' expression. "you were tracking him down the whole time?"

"um, duh? now come on, gotta save our girl."

-

you awoke to a stinging sensation on your inner forearm. after your bloody coughing fit, they proceeded to beat you up again and you were knocked out then. now you were slowly regaining consciousness but you were starting to prefer being passed out. your whole body was in pain and the fact that you couldn't even move made it even worse.

"oh, lookie here. sleeping beauty is up." you were met once again with justin hammer's ugly face. he was sitting on a chair perpendicular to your left side. you couldn't wait to get out of here so you didn't have to keep seeing his face every time you woke up. your inner forearm was stinging even more now so you looked down at it. you gasped at the sight.

"how'd you like my artwork?" he chuckled at your reaction. there on your arm, obviously carved out with the bloody knife that the asshole was so proudly holding on to, was 'FREAK'. carved out big and bold. on your skin. "pretty fitting, eh? freak? because, you know, that's what you are."

the blood was seeping out through the cuts and it stung even more now that it had been exposed to the air. the asshole moved his chair to your other side. "what should i write on this arm?" he feigns a thinking expression, looking up thoughtfully with his thumb and pointer finger on his chin.

"please, i–i don't know where tony put it. i really don't." you cried, tears now flowing freely down your face without a shame.

he looks at you with amusement. "what is this? are you...are you giving up already? can't take anymore?" he smirks and you sigh, closing your eyes. you just awoke but you were exhausted. so, so exhausted.

he takes out his phone, the smirk now permanent on his ugly face. "stark! kid's finally had enough. wanna tell me where the weapon is now or do you want to find her body at the bottom of the ocean?"

you couldn't even be bothered to react to his statement. the pain all finally registered and you were tired. tired and in excruciating pain.

"kinda busy right now, can you call back later?" you could hear tony's voice sound from justin's phone and the man beside you laughed. "i see you don't care for the girl. what could possibly be more important than saving her?"

"i don't know, you tell me." a voice said from behind you two and before you knew it, hammer was knocked off the chair he was on. you weakly turned your head just in time to see a metal arm force hammer up onto his feet before wrapping around his neck. "don't you fucking touch her again."

"y/n!" you heard wanda's voice as she entered the room with peter. more tears flowed down your face at the sight of them, stinging when they rolled past the cuts on your face but that didn't matter. your family was finally here to save you.

you saw the red mist of wanda's powers surround your cuffs before they clicked open. "oh, bubs, i'm so sorry." she cried, both hands hovering around your face, hesitating to touch you in fear of hurting you. her eyes fell onto the words carved out onto your skin and her mouth fell open before covering it with her hand. "i'm so sorry we couldn't get to you sooner." peter's voice cracked and you could tell he was emotional.

"it's okay," you told them, giving them a small smile, the biggest one you could give in your current state.

tony, sam and steve entered the room to see bucky relentlessly beating up your captor and wanda and peter standing by you as you cried.

"cupcake, we're here now. don't cry, you're safe now." tony came closer and despite knowing that you were because your family was finally here, you couldn't help but let out all the pent up emotions you've kept throughout your time of captivity.

sam had a go at justin once bucky was done and steve had to physically pry them both off of the sick bastard so that nat could cuff him and bring him back to the jet.

"y/n/n, i'm so sorry. if i hadn't–"

"it's okay, stevie." you cut him off. truthfully, you only did so because you knew he was going to giving a long-winded explanation justifying his actions and your headache couldn't bear to hear lengthy sentences. but you also didn't think it was in any way his fault so he didn't deserve to be beating himself up for this. shit happens, anyway.

"let's get you out of here, doll." bucky says, cringing when he sees the blood on the floor of your chair, as well as on your clothes. he quickly reaches to lift you off the chair but stops when you let out an ear-piercing scream of pain. "doll, i'm so sorry! did i hurt you?!" bucky questions in panic.

"y–you didn't, they did. it...it hurts everywhere," you cried, feeling hopeless that you couldn't even bear being carried by someone, let alone get up by yourself. their hearts broke when you said that. you never really cried much in front of them and you were known to withstand pain well because of how much shit HYDRA put you in as well as your powers being healing, meaning you had a higher pain tolerance than most people.

"it's okay, bubs. i got you. let's get you home, alright?" wanda's calming voice broke you out of your breakdown and red mist surrounded your whole body, wanda moving you with her powers. you were thankful of that because it didn't cause any more pain to your body.

maybe hammer was right. maybe you are just a freak with useless powers. wanda floated you into the jet and she set you down on the bed. "y/n, oh my god!" clint cried out once he sees you. you looked much worse than you did on hammer's camera footage during the call an hour ago. "kid, i'm so sorry."

"clint, take the wheel. bruce doesn't have all the resources needed. she needs to be treated ASAP." nat tells her best friend and he nods, taking the wheel and immediately taking off once everyone had boarded.

you were laid on the bed, right eye slightly open as bruce examined you. exhaustion hit you like a truck and before you knew it, you blacked out.

-

"how is she, doc?"

"pretty banged up but y/n, as i already knew, is a strong girl. lots of internal bleeding, broken bones, bruises and scars but she'll be fine. you can check her file later if you want," doctor cho tells tony outside of your room. "it's fine, can we see her?" he asks on behalf of the whole team standing behind him.

"yeah, of course! she woke up five minutes ago. i'll be off now, call me or my team if you need anything." she bids goodbye and left the group of superheroes.

steve slowly opens the door and there you were in bed, staring up at the ceiling. "hey, y/n/n," he greets sheepishly, feeling as though he had interrupted your alone time of blankly staring at the ceiling. the team trailed in behind him and soon your bed was surrounded by the avengers.

"hi, cupcake."

you looked away from the ceiling and turned your head towards tony. "oh, hey tones." you smile as sam helps you sit up while the rest sat on chairs all around you. "how you feeling, bub?" nat asks, eyes flickering down to the bold scarring of letters on your forearm.

"as okay as i can be." you answered truthfully, pressing your inner forearm closer to your body so the team doesn't see the letters carved onto your skin. you already know what you are, you didn't need the rest thinking so too.

"you're not a freak, bubs."

you look up at wanda. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to read your mind. but they were awfully loud. you're not a freak, y/n. and you're not useless too. that bastard may have carved out that word onto your skin but the scar will fade. it's not permanent. you know why? because that's not what you are." she tells you, taking off her jacket to wrap it around you because you felt self conscious of the scars all over your arms where the team could see.

"yeah, doll. you're an amazing person and your powers help us so much. i mean, you saved millions just helping us get the weapon back from justin hammer. if you hadn't, well, who knows what could've been happening right now?" he places a gentle hand at the side of your head, stroking your hair.

"yeah and who heals us when we get really hurt during missions, huh? i mean, if you hadn't healed that stab wound i got during that mission in new mexico, i probably wouldn't even be here at this moment." clint tells you and you roll your eyes at him. "you're exaggerating."

"i am not!" he laughed and you playfully rolled your eyes once again.

"y/n/n, i'm really sorry for—"

"i don't wanna hear it, stevie."

"but–"

"no. it's not your fault. shit happens." you brush him off. "lang–"

"you say language to me, i'll blame this shit on you even when it's not your fault. try me, rogers." you glare at the blond super soldier. he raises his arms in surrender, leaning back on his chair as the team laughs.

the team continue to entertain you and you couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of you. these were the people who would drop anything for you and were willing to dropkick any asshole in the face for hurting you. justin hammer never had a chance against your family to begin with.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

Sinners. (Stalker!San x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Semi Non-Con, sadism, masochism, fear kink, hair play, head shaving, complete submission, humiliation, degradation, anal, camera play, piercing, denial, chastity, Psycho!San, twisted and dark fucked up shit. Read at your own risk. You've been warned. This isn't for everyone. It is purely fiction and doesn't reflect any individual's behavior nor does it encourage it.

It was early in the morning and she was about to go to college in an hour. But instead of running around having breakfast, getting ready and making sure she had her assignments ready, Y/n was standing in front of her mirror, eyes closed as she touched her pussy and touched an electric razor to her head, imagining what it'd feel like if it was on and an imaginary 'Master' was forcefully shearing her. Like a sheep. "Ahh... Master… please..." The girl let a whimper fall from her lips, having no idea that the curtains of her room were open and someone could watch her through the window.

"Fuck…" The man standing outside, behind the PCO booth on the sidewalk outside Y/n's apartment complex whispered to himself, feeling his jeans tighten. Taking a picture of the girl before switching it to video mode, planning to send her the photo later. It had been a while now. Maybe a bit more than a while. He was ready and sure now, unable to wait anymore.

San had to have Y/n now.

He had to claim her rightfully his. Or, he felt like he'd lose his mind now. Just watching the pretty girl wasn't enough anymore. He wanted to touch her, feel her, tell her, that he knew… He knew that she wasn't as innocent as she made herself look in front of the people that knew her. That she was actually a hormonal little dirty girl. And whilst nobody knew that nasty side of her, he did. The thought made the man feel powerful. In control. Like he had a claim over Y/n.

There was no way in hell that she wasn't made for him.

Y/n got done with masturbating and packed up before going to college, having no idea that she had a stalker. The girl spent her usual regular day at college, having no idea of the storm that was coming.

.

San knew Y/n were in class and that’s exactly when he wanted to send her the photo he took. A sick smirk made its way on his face and he took his phone out, sending it with the caption, 'having fun there?' He knew where she sat, a lone desk by one of the windows in this classroom, the spot he was standing in providing him a clear view of her face. Yes. The man had all the information he could gather about her memorized by heart.

Y/n was drifting off when she suddenly felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, peeking at the Professor sneakily, the girl took it out and unlocked it only to choke on her breath before starting to cough, making some heads turn which caused her to put the device in her hand away to prevent it getting seized. Her blood ran cold and skin paled.

What the fuck just happened?!

San patiently waited for the female to exit her college, her being earlier than the usual time today, however. The man grinned deviously as he texted her again once she passed by him in a hurry, his taller figure getting up to follow her.

'Will you give that show again? Would you like someone to shave your hair off? That’s what gets you off right?' It shamelessly read, making her tremble.

Y/n started to rush towards her house as she didn't live too far away from her college, not having to use any vehicle because it was barely a 10 minute walk as she nervously glanced around. She was quite twisted herself. And so, a dark part of her mind thought... things, making her start to shudder as tears welled up in self hatred. She hated the soft pounds in her southern region, overpowering the thump of her heart ringing in her ears as she reached the building and rushed in.

'What's the rush for, Princess? Are you so eager to touch yourself again? Tsk. Are you horny? Knowing someone is watching you?' San was absolutely sick in the head. Chuckling at his own text, he bit his lip and hit send.

Y/n was shaking as she read the message. Yes. In her fantasies this was… thrilling, exciting, pussy throbbing and she'd like to play like this with her top but… a legit stalker? She wasn't THAT fucked. Or so the girl belived, at least. Rushing to the curtains after locking the front door, the girl drew them while trying to catch someone's glance outside but no luck.

San had mastered the art of hiding as he watched her. It wasn't like this was new or anything.

Y/n felt hopeless. She couldn't even call the cops! What would the girl show them as evidence?! She didn't want to tell or show them this! Her filthiest desire.

The 21 year old was having a mental breakdown! All her savings were in this college. She could not run away, didn't have any friends because Y/n was a foreigner and the people of this country were rather hostile to any outsiders. Couldn't go back home because she had run away from there, which was a hell in itself, when she had received her acceptance letter.

'Aww come on now!' Her phone pinged again, and then again. 'You can’t keep the fun all to yourself!'

The realisation felt like a bucket of ice cold water everytime she was reminded of it. The person had seen her masturbating and that to the fucking… razor! They knew her fantasies and at that the darkest ones! She couldn't even text them back asking him who it was! The girl was simply too embarrassed to! What if it were someone she knew in her college or around the apartment complex!

It was a dark day and it started raining. Y/n felt tears streaming down her face as her heart beat never slowed down, more terror filling her as everything outside got dark and thunder struck.

Maybe she should call the cops... No one else would help a foreigner… She just knew it. Nobody liked college students especially that lived alone because they were 'reckless' and often lied to get a good laugh out of the elders with their friends. So no one really opened their door for a student they didn't know personally.

But what would she tell the cops?! They ask for evidence!

Meanwhile, San stood on the spot he had found. Even if it was literally the end of the world, he'd still be there. Always. She was his and he had to have her all to himself. There was no other way. The man wasn't exactly sure how he'd do it but he’ll find a way.

.

Y/n called the cops at last when she started suspecting someone's presence outside her apartment. Or window… she wasn't sure anymore. And the loud thunder outside didn't help her situation. Dialing the police the scared girl told them she was afraid someone was stalking her and needed an officer for security right now. i Telling them about the texts and deciding to leave the nasty parts out, she sighed in somewhat relief when they informed that they will send an officer on the way. The student grabbed a water from the fridge and sat on the couch, taking huge gulps while trying to calm down.

Finally.

It only took some minutes before there was a knock on the door. A nervous Y/n looked through the peep hole to only cry out in relief when she saw the uniform through it. "Oh! Thank God, officer! Thank you so much! You're here!" She  was overjoyed. "Thank you! I- I am so scared!" A weak sob left her. "Please come in!"

The officer looked around the house, nodding. "I need you to calm down, miss. Tell me everything. We are here with you." His tone was professional. His name plate read 'Park Seonghwa'.

"I- I have a stalker! I don't know how!" Y/n quickly locked the door after he stepped in. "Not many people like me because I am a foreigner! I don't know if it's someone from college troubling me o- on purpose or what... B- But they've been sending me some really p- personal stuff..." She looked up at him innocently, scared.

The dark haired man hummed and nodded. "Do you maybe know the number? Have you noticed any suspicious activity around you before? Is there someone who has a motive to do this?"

"N- No... I got the first text today... I- I am really scared... I've got no one here... W- What do I do?" She told him all of it, hoping that the culprit he caught as soon as possible so she could go back to her life where she was a nobody. No one knew her and she was just another face among many others..

"Alright. We’ll keep a close eye on you. Within this period, try not to hang out too much, yeah? It is best to come directly home after college. And call us on this number if you suspect anything." He wrote a number on a paper and handed it to the shaky girl.

"Oh... Alright officer... thank you..." She saved the number gladly. And since he was supposed to stay with her to ensure the girl's safety, they sat down and Y/n awkwardly turned the TV on. Oh she never had a guy in her apartment before.

.

After getting used to the feeling of safety, Y/n got up after a while, finally having calmed down as she felt hungry. Cooking some dinner for two people, she went and handed the officer one of the two plates. "You've been here since evening... Please eat." She politely smiled, softly blushing from the embarrassment. The girl was too soft, continuously thanking him like it wasn't his job.

"You're a true hero..." She giggled and sat on the other couch, totally not thinking about how handsome he was. Before a sigh left her as she was reminded of the situation. "Officer... What will happen to my stalker when you catch him...?" He knew her darkest secrets. "I am really afraid... They mentioned some... things... very private... things..." The girl finally confessed.

“Mind telling me those things, miss? It will help us with his punishment. The more detail, the better” he placed his plate down, grabbing his pen and notepad.

"O- Officer... I uh..." Y/n gulped. "I- I can't..." She felt ashamed

“Why not? We should know so we can sentence him longer in the court. This is not okay. And you’re a foreigner. So it may also come under bullying.” His tone was soft and assuring as he looked at her, concerned.

It took the student a bit of persuasion before she spoke, hanging her head low and fingers fidgeting in her lap. "I... I was being naughty with myself... A- And they took p- pictures from my window... A- And taunted me about my... p- preferences, s- sir..." She put her own plate on the table now.

The man only hummed, nodding in an understanding manner. “That’s such a disgusting thing for him to do…” Before the man continued. “You shouldn’t do those nasty things while your windows are open either, Miss… You never know who will be watching.”

Y/n was blushing hard as her cheeks felt extremely hot. "I am sorry, s- sir... I won't do it again..." She couldn’t help but reply obediently. Her sub side sometimes got the best of her.

Besides… The officer was so handsome... It wasn’t helping her situation here.

.

A few hours later when it was bedtime and Y/n went to sleep in her room after taking care of her assignments and on the work she missed at school today, the officer got comfy on the couch. He was going to be here until tomorrow morning. Unless something happened. The girl was so tired she fell asleep easily, feeling protected and warm despite the terrible weather outside.

It was really late at night when Y/n woke up to a phone call.. "Hello?" It was the police, informing her that the officer that had been sent to her house had a bad ‘accident’ on the way and whether she still needed an officer.

The girl’s eyebrows at first in confusion before it sunk in and her blood ran cold as the phone fell from her shaking hands. At the same time she felt someone next to her. On the fucking bed. Pure terror filled her and she slowly turned to look at the relaxed figure dressed in the uniform. A shaky cry left her as she started trembling, literally mortified.

“Tsk... The stupid cops ruined the fun.” His voice was nowhere near that gentle and warm comforting voice now. Instead a low and deep hiss filled with nothing but mock.

.

San's eyebrows were frowned when he saw the cop car pulling up. "Oh no... you did not, Princess." The male smirked and shook his head slowly as he noted that it was only one officer. Moving through the shadows, he pulled out his blade from the pocket of his pants, expertly swirling it around in his hand and toying with it like he usually did. "Now, let’s see why do you need the officer, babygirl" his voice was barley a whisper as he made his way over to the car.

San was always so slick with his movements, catching the non-existent sounds of his figure were barely audible to the human ear. Before the officer could even realise there was someone around, the male had banged his head against one of the entrance walls of the low rent cheap apartment building, dragging him into the darkness with him before stealing his clothes and then dumping his body in the river along his car.

It didn't even take him long. He was fast, accurate in his calculations and confident in his abilities. "Now, to my Princess' rescue" chuckling to himself as he climbed the stairs, pinning the nameplate reading 'Park Seonghwa' on his breast pocket before ringing the bell to her apartment.

.

"The real fun is only starting" San sang as he pinned her down on the bed, holding her wrists tight above her head. "You have no idea how many nights I've watched you touch that bitchy cunt of yours." His hard bulge rubbed against her thigh.

An astonished Y/n was trembling, warm piss suddenly starting to leak out of her in pure terror as her heart threatened to burst out of the skin of her chest. Oh no! Is that what she thought this was?! It took her brain a few moments to understand it as the realisation sunk in like a ton of bricks. "Y- You... You're... You..." She could only whisper, eyes widened to the shape of saucers as an evil grin made its way on his features.

As San felt the bed getting warm, he started laughing at the girl condescendingly. "Look at you! Pissing yourself like a baby! How pathetic and disgusting! Did you really think anyone would help you, tsk?" He loved how she was shaking, the glow of her skin caused by the little droplets of sweat, her heartbeat that he could literally feel and the terror in her eyes.

Y/n started crying, the piss not stopping as it pooled inside her thighs. "Y- You're... You're the... stalker…" She whispered, still in disbelief as to how he managed that. "H- How did... How did you..." Oh God. Oh no.

The storm outside was so loud that screaming for help would just be in vain. It was so late no one would even be up...

"Baby, just like you said… I’m the stalker… I know everything about you…" His tone was sensual as he started kissing up the soft skin of her neck, moaning from how soft and delicate it felt. "Fuck! Your skin is even softer than i- it looks…" San felt himself twitch.

The girl was trembling as she slowly put it all together, staring at the ceiling as a feeling of despair and hopelessness filled her. "Y- You were p- pretending a- all this time! You're not the officer!" Adrenaline filled her as she kneed his cock, swiftly turning on her stomach and crawling off the bed before rushing out of the room. Nobody could hear the commotion. It was too loud outside.

"FUCK! YOU BITCH!" San yelled before laughing loudly. He loved this. Finally something enjoyable in his once lone and bland life. Holding his crotch, the male after her to catch the girl before she got away, catching her easily. "Where do you think you’re going?!" A smack landed on her face as punishment for what she did.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! Y- YOU CREEPY BASTARD!" Oh she would be getting a lot of beating for this! "H- HOW DARE YOU STALK ME A- AND THEN ENTER MY HOUSE! ILL R- REPORT YOU!" As she reached out to my table to hit him with something, her hand so conveniently ended up grabbing the razor and swung it back, going to hit him with it on the head.

San laughed tauntingly and caught her arm before she could hit him and shook his head, sighing. "Now now, isn’t this the razor you were holding when you played with that tiny little cunt of yours?" The shiny object dangled in his hand.

"P- PLEASE!" She remembered the text he'd sent her. "PLEASE! I- I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!" Y/n had no idea what to say.

"Aww sweetie…" His words were soft. Almost. "Keep your begs for the time when I'll be pounding that dirty little pussy of yours." San held her hands above her head. "You like to be owned, huh? You like to serve your Master and show everyone how much of an obedient little whore you are?"

Y/n was crying harder now, afraid because she didn't know what was going to happen. "N- No! Please no! It's not true! P- Please just let me go! I- I don't want to!" Oh but she had a being kidnapped and raped fantasy. She loved the thought of someone dangerous, like San, terrifying her and fucking her, making her into his cockwhore. And he knew it. She wanted it all. The girl loved the fear and force. But all of it actually happening was something she'd never thought of. "Please! Let me go!" How could it? A whole fantasy becoming true?

"Oh please, my little slut! Let’s not fool ourselves here. I know you love the thrill of this, I know you LOVE getting used like a worthless little toy and I will give you what you want. You can try to resist me all you want but you’ll never get away from me. You're mine. I'll always catch you. You're mine and belong with me." Her eyes were on the razor as she kept thinking about the text he'd sent.

Y/n tried to reach out of his iron strong hold and snatch the razor from him. "Nu-uh…" San sang out as he held the object above him. "What if I shaved your head while I’m destroying that slutty pussy, huh? Would you like that you little whore?"

"No! NO! NO PLEASE!" Oh… But she felt wetness trickling down her leg. Oh no.

"My my!" The man chuckled darkly. "What’s this?" He swiped a finger up her bare thigh. "God, you’re such a pathetic whore, trying to fool yourself by saying no but I know you’re enjoying this. How stupid and dumb. Stupid slut!" His free hand smacked her face before grabbing her hands again.

"N- No! No! Please stop! This i- isn't what it looks like!" Before she somehow broke free again, this time biting his hand before she managed to reach the door, trying to unlock it but her hands were sweaty and cold, fingers literally frozen as she struggled to open the locks, cursing when they kept slipping against the metal.

San pushed Y/n up against the door with the most force he could come up with and pounced himself on her, letting his hard cock feel up her ass. "Don’t fight it anymore." And with that, he pulled her pj shorts down and turned her around before spreading her legs and pushed her up against the door, unclothing his cock and aligning his tip against her vagina before forcefully thrusting into her without warning before moaning loudly, throwing his head back. "God! Such a tight little nasty cunt!" San moaned and kissed along her neck, feeling like he'd go crazy from how delicate and nice her skin tasted.

The girl moaned loudly in pain, a warm stream of blood trickling down the man's monster cock. "O- Oh my God!" A sick part of her wondered if he would also shave her head and face... "I- IT BURNS!" A scream tumbled out of her lips.

"Oh… You were a virgin? Such a nasty little thing. Everyone thinks you’re an innocent little girl but in reality, you’re just a needy little bitch! Needy for cock! All the time!" He picked her up and carried the girl back to her room while still keeping his cock in her before plugging the razor in. "Come here!"

Oh yes. Oh no! Oh… She was having a battle with herself. Did she want this or did she not want this?! "PLEASE... S- SIR..."  Please yes or please no...? She didn't even know what was happening anymore. This was fucking crazy. Her stalker who had done God knows what to the cop and had entered her house after watching her for who knew how long. The stalker that had a private photo of her and she didn't even know how many other materials. And now was on top of her like this...

"Please what, babydoll?" San pulled her in and kissed the soft trembling lips roughly, loving how good she tasted and felt.

Y/n cried against his lips, the man's huge cock still in her wet and tight walls. "I- I am scared! P- People will laugh!" Was that the only thing she cared about?

"So you want me to, but scared people will laugh?" San smirked while pushing his hips back and forth, moaning with each thrust. "Let them laugh, that will turn you on even more because you love getting humiliated. I know you too well, baby.”

Y/n had faced such rejection and hostility her whole life from different people she had trusted with her safety from time to time… this was driving her crazy. Her messy emotions got the best of her at the end of it. Her breaths were heavy. "Y- You're right... You know me so well..." She started speaking his language. "Y- You want me? O- Or you'll leave me too?" This was wrong; sick.

“No. I am staying by your side and you’re staying by me. I’ve wanted you for so long... you have no idea.” He groaned at how good she felt, biting back the whimpers threatening to fall out of his lips from the pleasure. “You have no idea just how many nights I have jerked off thinking it was your tiny little pussy, hugging my cock as you moaned and begged me for more, slut.”

The girl blushed, feeling like she was dreaming. This felt perfect… at least to her troubled mind. "You're crazy... You're scary... You made me piss myself out of pure…” She whispered slowly, a small smile making its way on her lips. “...P- Please own me... P- Please shave me... my head and face... make me look like a dumb slut... s- sir... Your dumb slut..." Her shaky hand turned the razor on for him, pussy suddenly clenching around him as she finally acknowledged the pleasure it was receiving, a soft moan escaping her.

“Mmm... that’s my good slut” San hummed and praised, taking the now on machine and placing it against her hairline before running it down the top of her head, both of them moaning, Y/n from the feeling and San from the sight of the sight of now small bristles between her locks as his hips pushed in and out even faster.

The man now shaved off another strip from the spot besides the previously shaved one, humming as he remembered something and took the machine to her eyebrows first and pressed it against the skin, feeling himself hit her g-spot as her eyes rolled to the top of her head, mouth falling open as the male erased the hair above her eyes.

"Yes, s- sir! Please make me your good slut! I- I love you! I'll never leave you! Please never leave me, Master!" She started crying out of joy, kissing his hands as her unstable emotions made her feel absolute joy. He had accepted her as she truly was. In her darkest form. “Please write funny things o- on my skinhead when you’re done. I am a dumb whore!” To her, there wasn’t a man more great than him.

“Fuck yes… That you are.” San grunted as he started to shear the rest of her long locks like one would to a sheep. “You are my dumb little slut who will do nothing but serve her Master from now on!” His free hand landed a smack on her head which was showing up more and more, nothing but thin stubble covering the skin.

"Yes I will, Master! Please! Please treat me like trash!" Y/n clenched around him, near to cumming. “Trash that was born to take your cock! You're so good to me! I wish you'd snuck in my house this morning and raped me right there! I wish you'd have shaved my head and forced me to go to college like that! It would have been a pleasure to be humiliated like that and by you!” She was literally crying out of pleasure

“Oh..” The man chuckled while panting. “I will force you to go like this baby, don’t worry.” He promised as he snapped his hips even faster, feeling himself getting close from the sight and all her filthy confessions. “And I will wake you up by fucking you every morning, making you a mess and sending you off to college like that.” It was done, the only hair on the girl’s head slight messy stubble that he’d remove with a hand razor later to reveal the skin underneath.

"Yes, please! Please always only force me and rape me! Please keep me bald! Keep me at your feet! Please feed me your piss and cum! I want to be your hand and footrest! I want to be an object for you to fuck! A bitch for you to breed! Your little animal! I JUST WANT TO BE YOURS! I WANT TO BE THE DIRT UNDER YOUR FEET!" She was sobbing as she started cumming hard, her tiny body spasming in pleasure while holding one of San's hands because it was her first time cumming from sex.

Y/n wrapped her arms around him from the intensity of it and kissed him while he played with her tits, pinching her nipples painfully as he kissed the girl back and let her ride out her high before pulling out. “On your knees!” San kept pumped himself until he came all over the girl’s pretty face and mouth. “That’s my good little cumdumpster.”

She smiled and started to kiss his cock and hands in respect, then his balls. Y/n really had truly submitted. "You're perfect, Master! Where have you been all my life?!" A pout made its way on her lips as she whined, hugging his leg and kissing it, not daring to go further up out of fear.

San was satisfied with her behavior. “I’m here now baby… And I am never leaving.” He kissed the younger one and slapped her ass lightly after helping her get up. “Lets get cleaned, doll.”

"Master, I wanna drink your piss." She shamelessly told him, not standing up, taking his cum off her face with her hand and greedily sucking at it. "A- And I wanna kiss your feet!" She was way too eager for this.

The man chuckled at her request. “You want to drink my piss? Then open up, my whore.” San held his cock over her mouth before putting pressure on his bladder, whimpering before the hot stream hit her lips.

Y/n was obediently on her knees drinking all of it after cringing at the taste a little, moaning happily. It was her first time drinking anyone's piss. She was in heaven. She finally had an owner! The girl made sure not one drop went to waste. "Thank you so much, Master! It is amazing!" The younger one stopped drinking and let his piss wet her face before starting to kiss his feet, fully in her subspace.

“You’re such an obedient little girl.” San praised, not being able to hold back the smile as he watched her, never having imagined her willingly being like this for him in such a short time period. But then again, he wasn’t surprised. “Good girl.” He cooed patting her head.

Y/n desperately kissed his hand and grabbed it, starting to cry. "M- Master... everyone leaves me... P- Please don't leave me... I- I'll die!" She almost promised him, nothing short of a maniac. Maybe she was even more twisted than San, in a way

“I’ll never leave you, you’re mine and everyone will know that.” Cupping her cheeks, he passionately kissed her, already making plans in his head about how he will modify all of her features as his perfect little pet.

The girl giggled, sucking at his lips greedily. "Master! Your piss was on my face!" She tried to get it off. "Give it back! Ish mine!" Huffing, she lapped at his piss like a needy little bitch.

San chuckled from her antics and swiped his fingers on the pretty face before holding them up against her lips. “Open up…” He let her suck on the piss covering his fingers. “Fuck... you’re so perfect for me.”

Holding his arm like a child, Y/n started sucking on his fingers greedily, smiling. "Thank you, Master!" Before she made his fingers hit the back of her throat, making herself gag and loving it all. "Mashter Mashter! Whatsh your name?" The girl questioned while deep throating his fingers.

“It’s San, baby.” The man replied with a smile, watching her choke on his fingers, her warm drool trickling down his long fingers.

"Shan! Ish sho pretty! I am Y/n!" Letting go of his hand, she hugged him which was returned with a chuckle.

“I know, babygirl.”

"M- Mashter... I- I dunno why b- but... I- I shaw a video too a- and I want you to s- shove my shaved hair u- up my assh and i- in my mouth... a- and take picturesh... Hehe I am sho naughty!" His eyebrows raised as she hid in his chest, a smirk forming on his lips.

San patted her messily shaved head. “Yes. You are, baby. You’re fucking naughty but okay. Daddy is here to help his little girl with all her little disgusting whore fantasies.”

"Y- You wanna?" Before she chirped again. "Mashter I want to be owned like an object a-nd like an animal! I wanna be like a p- piggy! A- And I want you to b- beat me and whip me e- everywhere a- and I wanna be bruished! A- And I want to be raped all the time!" She was too fucking sick and twisted but now that she wasn’t afraid of being judged, she was letting all that was locked deep down out.

“If that’s what you want, then I’ll treat you like one, baby.” San said before chuckling to himself, still in disbelief of just how fucked up she really was.

"A- And I want you to fuck my bummie and not let me cum for monthsh! I wanna be forshed to wear chashtity! I want you to make me cry and beg but you don't give in and only torture me more!" She told him. "Pleashe alwaysh shlap me and my head!"

“Fuck... you’re so naughty baby… I love it.” San almost moaned from the sight before getting a chunk of her shaved hair and shoved it in her mouth before getting his phone and taking pics of her all stuffed and messily bald like that.

The twisted girl smiled in the pictures and eagerly nodded, turning her fat ass in front of him now. "Please put hair in assh too!" She struggled to speak, smiling and posing for all of the pictures.

San actually wanted to take a video of him shoving hair up her ass and so that was what he simply did, laughing. “Look at this disgusting little dumb cock whore! So slutty and needy! Loving to be humiliated and looked like a dumb fucktoy by her owner!” He spat on her.

"Yesh I am! Yesh I am!" Y/n spoke with difficulty, showing her stuffed face and head too, arching her back, imagining herself a beauty goddess of her own kind. "My lobely mashter shaved me! And ish gonna treat me like hish trash and look! I habe hair up my assh! And in my fashe! I've got no eyebrowsh!"

“My good little slave… All mine… So submissive” San praised, kicking her ass in the camera and chuckling at her squeak, watching her clench the hair up when her pucker winked. “You’re really loving this, aren’t you?” Lifting her face, he spat on her forehead.

"I ammmm~" she whined, face red before starting to try to rub her cunt against the floor.

“Look at her trying to desperately rub her slutty cunts on the floor…” He filmed it all. Fuck. He loved seeing Y/n all dirty and submissive for him.

Drool was dripping down her chin and boobs. "Yesh Mashter! O- Onwy fow yoooouuu~" a needy whimper left her.

“Mmm... yes, only for me” San spoke and slapped her hard which the girl loved, getting even more wet and kissing his hands. "I- I... cum pleashe..." She whimpered again, loving the control she was in.

“No... get up.” San warned sternly. “You’re not allowed to cum, you’re never allowed to cum.”

"B- But... M- Mashter..." The girl pouted and whined, having forgotten that she was the one that told him that she wanted him to never let her cum and torture her like that.

“Are you talking back to your Master?” Raising an eyebrow, he gripped her chin before slapping her, making sure it was all being recorded so he could fuck her to it later.

Her pussy tingled. “N- No! No Mashtew owwiieee…” The hair in her ass and mouth tickled humiliatingly.

"That’s what I thought" San husked and threw the phone on the bed before pushing her on the carpet again. "Tell me when you’re close."

"M- Mashtewwww" Y/n started crying like a little baby, shaking and dropping the hair from her mouth because it was getting hard to breathe.

"Did I say you could drop the hair?!" The man growled darkly before pushing the hair back in. "Breathe through your nose, dumb slut!"

The girl let out a cry, trembling and sobbing as she nodded. He was rough. It was making her cry. But she also loved it and felt wet. "Yesh!" She loved being at Master's mercy.

"Good girl." He said pushing her down on the carpet more. "Rub yourself nice and hard slut." Y/n started rubbing herself as he ordered, feeling the carpet burn against her pussy but she couldn't help but love it, biting her bottom lip through her stuffed mouth. Oh… She loved it so much. The girl wanted it to bleed almost… Reaching out to hold his hand, the girl spoke. "You're sho perfect... I wish I'd m- met you when I wash l- little..."

"I wish that too baby, fuck... I’d fuck you every night while your parents were peacefully sleeping in the next room…"

"Y- You'd fuck me when I wash a little baby?" This was fucking revolting and twisted. They were both utterly sick. Y/n kept moaning loudly and getting wetter, rubbing harder and harder. "Y- Your fat cock i- in my toothlessh mouth... AHHH... I wouldn't need miwk... You'd have fed me your Mashtew milk fwom youw cock..."

"Fuck yes!" He growled as he felt himself getting hard. "Yes baby… I'd feed you my cum every day. You'd have grown up getting your nutrients from it, eh?"

"Daddy... Daddy... You'd be my Daddy? But inshtead of miwk you'd feed me youw cum evewyday? Ish the besht miwk!" She was very close and her eyes fluttered shut when he started playing with her tits and pinched her nipples before pulling at them. "Then I'd say I grew up drinking Mashtew's cock miwk! Hehehe!" The girl was too far gone.

"God, yes! You’re such a filthy and sick whore!" San knew she were close so he pulled her up. "No cumming!" It made the girl whine loudly and she fell on her face.

"Mashtewwwwww!" Before she curled in his feet, calming down a little when he didn't give in and ripped her pussy away from the carpet. "M- Mashtew... p- pleashe may I wemove haiw now...?" It was getting stuck to her mouth.

"Yes. You may, my little cum rag." The male wanted to use her mouth and feed her his cum so he allowed.

Y/n dropped it and quickly cleaned her tongue and inside of the cheeks with her tiny hands. "Bleg... hehe~" she curled in his waist, rubbing her tiny head against his chest.

"Good girl~" he patted her head before pushing her back in position. "Now use that mouth good baby…" San pushed his cock down her narrow throat, loving how tight and warm she was, making her gag from the rush of it in an instant.

The girl gagged but enjoyed it, loving it all. She quickly started sucking his cock, grazing her teeth against it and swirling her tongue. Y/n had watched all that porn for a reason. Kissing his balls, she sucked on them, whimpering from how his private hair tickled her nose.

"Fuck! look at you! Sucking on master’s cock like a starved bitch!" He slapped her again, feeling his shape against the skin of her cheeks. "You love it, don’t you?!"

"Yesh! Yesh! Yesh!" She hollowed her cheeks and bobbed her head up and down his shaft, sucking and whining as San rubbed the top of his foot against her pussy, smacking her bald head before pushing his cock all the way down her throat, tightly clasping the back of her head.

The man groaned loudly as he twitched in the soft walls of her throat, washing her throat with his hot semen before cleaning her up and finally shaving her head fully until there was nothing but glossy skin left before they went to bed.

"I have shchool tomorrow... Mashter do you go to shchool?" Y/n yawned as she snuggled into San's built chest, whimpering and smiling whenever the realisation of who he was hit her.

She loved being owned.

"No I don't. I will be right here when you come back, my pretty slut." San said while kissing her softly like he hadn't unleashed his sadistic likes on her.

"Why don't you go to school?" She suddenly pouted. "Then how will Mashter have a career?! You'll be poow! I dun wan poow Mashtew!" Y/n huffed brattily. She didn't really care about that, only wanting to see his response because she loved to piss off her top.

"You don’t really have a choice, sweetheart." The male gritted out. "You’re stuck with me forever. If I am living on the streets, you’re living with me."

She opened her mouth to brat but the bell rang. Rushing to the door, Y/n opened it to reveal a police officer. "Oh... hi..." The officer smiled a bit at her and asked the girl if she still needed an officer and why she had hung up when they called. "O- Oh no officer... I was just being paranoid... It wasn't anyone..." Y/n's cheeks blushed because she could see the officer was staring at her shiny bald head and eyebrows. Feeling herself getting wet as humiliation made her blush, Y/n found herself wondering what it'd feel like if he smacked her on her head. The girl's nipples got hard.

But oh... she couldn't cum!

"Okay then, be careful, Miss." He tipped her hat, nodding a little before walking off.

Y/n felt so wet. "Have a good night, officer!" A giggle left her as the man disappeared, starting to rub herself against the door up and down, running her hand against her head.

"Now, what was that?!" San deeply spoke, pushing the girl against the door, making her head hit against it embarrassingly. "Did you forget who alone can make you wet?!" The male yelled before slapping her. "You sick little exhibition loving whore! Not even you can do what you like to yourself! You're all mine! Only I can do whatever I please to your whore body!"

"Yes... You... You sir!" Y/n closed her eyes and held her hands above her head, lowering it for him to slap. "Please hit my head... Ugh... fuck me up... I want my head to be bruised... Ugh fuck! I am so wet... Please beat me!"

"What a disgusting little trash!" The man laughed, slapping her head this time. "You love people making fun of you, huh?"

"Yes I do! Yes I do!" She whined. "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make fun of me! Humiliate me! Hit me and bruise me! Make fun of me! Humiliate and degrade me! I want my whole college to laugh at me!" A loud cry left her.

"Let’s get you bruised up, then." San decided and started slapping the girl's tiny head and face until it was all red and sore. Y/n was crying by the time he was done, literally sobbing as she just fell on her knees and knocked out of exhaustion, her owner carrying her to the bed and then laying next to her knocked out form.

"Good night, my love." The male kissed her soft and red cheek before falling asleep too, holding her fragile body close to his, his slumber calm and satisfying today after so long.

.

Y/n stirred as she felt her pussy being invaded the next morning, making her stir as she felt lips upon her own and fingers pinching her nipples as her other boob was being groaped, her pussy expanding and sucking in a huge cock. San's huge cock. "M- Master~!" She whispered out when her eyes flew open and she was met with San's face. "W- What… s- so early?!"

"I promised you I'd wake you by fucking you every morning, didn't I, my slut?" He grinned and attacked her lips, eliciting an excited gigglish moan out of her as he started to fuck her fast and rough, pushing his balls in all the way.

“Y- Yes! Yes! F- Fuck!” Her eyes rolled to the back of her head from the realisation that he had been fucking her in her sleep before she woke up, feeling him twitch inside her. “M- Master! I- I… c- cum…” Y/n tried to speak, her back arching from the pleasure of him biting on her nipples before smacking her bald head softly.

“Little breeding whores don’t get to cum, baby. They just take cock and let Master use them like the cum rags that they are.” San’s cock slammed in and out of her pussy, his hand gripping her neck for support when she clenched around him. “Fuck! So tight!”

Tears welled up in her eyes as her face got red from how rough his thrusts were, how much her clit was burning for stimulation, how much her ovaries hurt to cum. “Look at this hairless little whore! Unable to even breathe without my permission let alone cum!” He spat in her mouth before turning her around and pushing up her ass, chuckling when she whined out.

“Sorry, slut. Little whores don’t get what they want around here and only please Master as they are supposed to.” Grabbing a sharpie, San started writing on her head whilst choking her with one hand, pounding her harder and harder up her ass. “Hurry up and please your Master well so we can go to an important place before you go to school.”

‘I am a bald little nasty slut. Please hit my head. I love it.’ Was written on the back of her head as the man laughed, deciding to not tell her what he’d done just yet, waiting for her to find out later when the people on campus would be warming that cueball up.

.

Y/n was whimpering as San waved at her and she shakily walked inside her college with a bald head, wearing nothing inside her skirt as she sneakily pushed the slipping ass plug back inside her cum filled ass. Lowering her bald head now that she was outside and people were staring at her new look, the girl gulped and felt herself squeezing her legs when some girl giggled at her.

Fuck… She couldn’t help but bite her lip, loving the humiliation as her cheeks felt hot.

Master had gotten her pussy, septum and nipples pierced before walking her to college. He was going to buy a special leash for that that was going to be passed through all her piercings to ensure she was in his control at all times.

Her train of thoughts was broken when a smack landed on her head by a guy passing by before he chuckled at her shocked expression. Before the girl could question him, she received a text by San. A picture message. Of what was written on the back of her head.

Widening her eyes, Y/n gasped and her hand automatically grazed against her head. No wonder the piercing lady had lightly smacked it before Master and she had laughed at the girl. “N- No… you didn’t…” She whispered in shock before one of her ‘friends’ smacked her head, making it jerk forwards.

“Cute look, Y/n.” Before she walked off to class, the people passing by gave her looks and talked about her.

Fuck… She squeezed her thighs in utter humiliation as the wind blew, making her desperately try to keep her skirt down as wetness trickled down her thigh. The girl wasn’t allowed to touch herself and not cumming was one of the rules now upon Master’s order and her foolish confession. She had a whole day to last before getting home and begging him to let her earn it.

Her ass stuffed, body owned, everyone silently chuckling at her humiliating look and getting smacks to the head like that wasn’t going to help.

“Oh, Master…” She whined to herself in despair. “What have you done?”

.

[misssugarlips]

Oblivion

Pairing: Bucky x fem!reader

Warnings: +18 angst, rape (not from Bucky), a little fluff by the end, swearing, this is so sad tbh

A/N: hey guys! this one shot is different from my others, is sad and there are rape mentions, I haven't been through that, the truth is I tried to write it the best I could, I apologize in advance if I offend someone. This is inspired in the Grimes song Oblivion. There's gonna be a second part to this so...hope you like it! I apologize for any mistake, english is my second language. Gif isn't mine

You still remembered that night, in fact you would always remember it. You left your house around 10pm, slammed the door and put on your headphones. The streets were deserted and dark there was no one around you, a few lights coming out of the houses barely lit your way. Tears were streaming hot down your flushed face. The fight with your mother had left you very affected, you did the best you could and it was never enough, you tried to get a 10 in all your subjects and behave like a good girl, but it was never enough, that 9 had unleashed the fury of your mother making her yell at you. She had affected you a lot and you were already tired so you found yourself in the lonely night listening to music on your mp3 player. You just walked, you didn't know where to go, you didn't have a specific destination. You went through an alley and there were some nasty men smoking. You tried to get out of there but they cornered you.

"What is doing such a pretty girl alone on these streets?" The man cornered you into the alley wall, the smell of beer combined with his breath made you nauseous.

"Please let me go" you begged in a low whisper.

"So innocent, and beautiful" the man caressed your cheek with his callused and dirty hand. You started shaking, you just wanted to get out of there. The man forcefully kissed you leaving traces of saliva on your lips, it was so disgusting that you gagged causing the man to slap you. You cried louder still, you tried to defend yourself to run to some place where you could find someone to help you, but the other man grabbed you from behind immobilizing you, covering your mouth with his hand and with his other hand he kept your hands behind you in a strong grip that was starting to hurt your wrists.

The man in front of you was touching your body obscenely, he tore your jeans ripping them and got rid of your underwear too. He left you exposed and helpless. You were trembling with fear, you knew that you would not get out of this. Through your tears you could see in the distance a tall figure, was a man, he was wearing a mask and his hair was long, he was dressed completely in black.

You tried to bite the hand of the man behind you holding you, he removed his hand from your mouth releasing a groan of pain and you took the opportunity to ask for help from the guy with long hair, he stared into your eyes.

"Help! Please help!" You screamed with all the strength that you had left, your lungs ached and the air was short of you. The man ran quickly where he came from and that's when your faith was completely dissolved, this was your destiny. You prayed to God to grant you death, you would rather die than continue witnessing the stripping of your being.

"Shut up bitch" the man behind you slapped you. "If you're still a little brat, I'll disfigure that pretty face of yours" he squeezed your neck with his hands. You could no longer bear what they were doing to you, you closed your eyes letting life decide your destiny. You vanished. A little 16 year old girl would never be the same again.

Bucky woke up scared, sweating. That nightmare again. Your eyes haunted him every night, reminding him that he couldn't help you. But what could he do? Hydra had screwed up his head, and if there wasn't an order specifically saying to save you, there was nothing he could do. Guilt haunted him every day, every time he saw you in the kitchen, in the living room, in the meeting room. He seriously tried to make amends for what he had done, every day he gave you flowers, he made you breakfast, he tried to make your life easier and as happy as possible. Of course you didn't know that Bucky was the man who could have saved you that night. You thought he was very cute and chivalrous, you were falling in love with him more and more every day, but you didn't have the courage to confess your feelings to him, the truth was that you didn't have the courage to do many things, and less when it came to men you stopped trust them a long time ago, it was difficult for you to live with them or talk with them, since that day you have never been able to regain the social skills that you used to have.

With Bucky was different, he and Tony your cousin, they were the only ones you felt comfortable with. Steve was very cute, Sam and Clint too but you weren't ready to have the trust you had with Bucky and Tony with them. The boys understood it, and tried to be as understanding as possible. Natasha had told them what had happened to you years ago after they spent days begging her to tell them what was the ordeal that had made you become the person you are now.

Bucky had more than earned your trust, after getting rid of Hydra and being welcomed into the Tower as an avenger. He began his search to find you, he followed you very closely, until one day he dared to speak to you. He had promised himself to make your life the best he could, Bucky didn't expect to redeem himself, he did not believe that he could ever redeem himself or forgive himself for what he did or rather for what he did not do .

Bucky approached you in fear, seeing the eyes that haunted him in his nightmares in person terrified him. At first you only spoke to him distantly and your answers were summarized in "yes" and "no"

Seeing your beautiful face vis a vis was an epiphany for him, your face had that childish and scared air even though you were in your 24s. Your eyes revealed pain, they showed how broken you were inside, everything that had been taken from you would never be yours again. Since that day he had been captivated by your beauty and he felt stronger the obligation to be able to make you happy. Later he would discover that you were nothing more and nothing less than Stark's cousin and sometimes you helped Tony in the laboratory since you had an engineering degree. You were just as impressed as he was, the man you had met months ago in the cafeteria and who had been so attentive to you was part of Tony's group of heroes.

Bucky knocked on your door softly, he waited for you to leave your room with a tray in his hands where he had a delicious breakfast waiting for you. You opened the door to find a smiling Bucky carrying a breakfast tray.

"Good morning, doll" Bucky greeted.

"Hi Buck, come in" you smiled at him letting him go into your room. "You can leave breakfast on the table sir, thank you" you joked posing him as a butler. Bucky laughed, patting a space next to him on your bed for you to sit next to him. You took a seat next to him looking at the food, Bucky intimidated you a little, but not in the way other men did, with him you felt comfortable and safe. Only his large, muscular figure made you feel small and his eyes made a warmth emanate from your body.

"It looks delicious, thank you" you gave him a little kiss on his cheek. "I never said it was for you" said Bucky trying to hold back a smile for joking with you. You gently tapped his arm laughing at him, he smiled at you. The tray still rested on his lap. He chopped a piece of pancake and directed it to your mouth "Open up, I'm going to feed you"

"It is not necessary I can eat on my own, in fact since I am 4 I can do it" you replied, you tried to take the fork from his hand but he pushed you away directing the food to your mouth, you opened your mouth eating the piece of pancake letting Bucky feed you. The truth was it didn't bother you that he fed you you found it sweet, but you would never let him know. "Here, orange juice. Lots of vitamin C" he winked at you and you could feel yourself slowly melting away. You've never felt this way with anyone in your life, and you didn't think you could feel that way with someone else.

Bucky saw you with loving eyes, he loved being with you, if it were up to him he would spend all day and every day by your side, but that would make it very creepy and he didn't want to scare you. His love for you had been growing every day. He knew very well that one day he would have to tell you what he knew, and he was afraid, he was afraid that you would turn away from him. That you treat him for what he really was: a monster.

Thanks for reading! Remember there's gonna be a second part, please leave your thoughts in the comments❤❤❤

[toscrollperchancetomeme]

Lestat de Lioncourt - A playlist

So, guess who made a Lestat Playlist (like there aren't enough already) and decided to sit down for 4-6 hours to find some excerpt corresponding with each song? Featuring 80s and 90s music (clearly showing my age...) as well as many european songs and showtunes. Enjoy!

1. Cathedrals – Ramin Karimloo (Original by Jump, Little Children)

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome There is a feeling that you should just go home And spend the lifetime finding out just where that is

And that was not a good year for me. I was wandering aimlessly. I was sick of things. I was furious with myself that the „beauty“ of life wasn't sustaining me, wasn't making my loneliness bearable.

I wanted to join them. Always do want to join them and never do. „Go home,“ he whispered. - Prince Lestat

(I actually feel like there are quotes that would correspond to this song in every one of the books and indeed have not yet found any other song that captures the general spirit of The Vampire Chronicles as perfectly.)

2. Edge of Seventeen – Stevie Nicks

Well, I went today Maybe I will go again tomorrow Yeah yeah, well, the music there Well, it was hauntingly familiar Well, I see you doing what I try to do for me With the words from a poet and a voice from a choir And a melody, and nothing else mattered

He sat next to me, hugging me and asking me why I was crying, and though I couldn't tell him, I could see that he was overwhelmed that his music had produced this effect. There was no sarcasm or bitterness in him now. I think he carried me home that night. And the next morning I was standing in the crooked stone street in front of his father's shop, tossing pebbles up at his window. When he stuck his head out, I said: „Do you want to come down and go on with our conversation?“ - The Vampire Lestat

3. I ain't scared of lightning – Tom McRae

No I ain't scared of lightning And thunder never killed I was born in a summer storm and I live there still

I wasn't part of the world that cringed at such things. And with a smile, I realized that I was of that dark ilk that makes others cringe. Slowly and with great pleasure, I laughed.

And the labor that brought it forth was rapture such as I have never known. - The Vampire Lestat

4. Junge Roemer – Falco (Young Romans – Full Translation)

Don't ask for new old values See white light, see only feeling The night is ours till morning We play every game Don't ever let this journey end The doing comes only from the being Only from dimensions, that Are worth illusions and sensations Give me more, give me more, give me more...

... and again she laughed. „Ah, but we are splendid devils, aren't we?“ „Hunters of the Savage Garden,“ I said. „Then let's go into Paris,“ she said. - The Vampire Lestat

5. Running up that hill – Candy Says (Original by Kate Bush

If I only could, I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building,

„Not even with Nicolas?“ „No, god, no!“ I looked at her. She nodded slightly as if she approved of this answer. „Why not with Nicolas?“ she asked. I wanted this to stop. „Because he's young,“ I said, „and he has life before him.“ - The Vampire Lestat

6. Florence – Notre Dame de Paris (Full Translation)

The little things always triumph over the large And literature will kill architecture The school books will kill the cathedrals The Bible will kill the Church, and man will kill God This will kill that

„I never lived in it. I push against the glass. But how do I get in?“ „I can't tell you that,“ I said. „You have to study this age,“ Gabrielle interrupted. Her voice was calm but commanding. He looked towards her as she spoke. „You have to understand the age,“ she continued, „through its literature and its music and its art. You have come up out of the earth, as you yourself put it. Now live in the world.“ No answer from him. Flash of Nicki's ravaged flat with all its books on the floor. Western civilization in heaps. - The Vampire Lestat

7. Go your own way – Fleetwood Mac

Loving you isn't the right thing to do How can I ever change things that I feel

If I could maybe I'd give you my world How can I when you won't take it from me

You can go your own way You can call it another lonely day

„Keep your promise,“ she said. And quite suddenly I knew this was our last moment. I knew it and I could do nothing to change it. „Gabrielle!“ I whispered. But she was already gone. - The Vampire Lestat

8. Désenchantée – Olympe (Original by Myléne Farmer - Full Translation)

If death is a mystery Life isn't exactly tender If heaven has a hell Then heaven can still wait for me Tell me how to handle this headwind Nothing makes sense anymore, nothing's fine

Laughter. That insane music. That din, that dissonance, that never ending shrill articulation of the meaninglessness... Am I awake? Am I asleep? I am sure of one thing. I am a monster. And because I lie in torment in the earth, certain human beings move on through the narrow pass of life unmolested. - The Vampire Lestat

9. A kind of magic – Queen

The bell that rings inside your mind Is challenging the doors of time It's a kind of magic The waiting seems eternity The day will dawn of sanity

And quite completely I understood that it was looking for me, this sound, it was seeking me out.

Blood like light itself, liquid fire.

It seemed beneath the roar of the flow he spoke. He said again: „Drink, my young one, my wounded one.“ I felt his heart swell, his body undulate, and we were sealed against each other. I think I heard myself say: „Marius.“ And he answered: „Yes.“ - The Vampire Lestat

10. La quête – Bruno Pelletier (French version of „The Impossible Dream“ from Man of La Mancha)

To try when your arms are too weary To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest To follow that star Ooh, no matter how hopeless No matter how far

I would remain in New Orleans if New Orleans could only manage to remain. Whatever I suffered should be lessened in this lawless place, whatever I craved should give me more pleasure once I had it in my grasp. And there were moments on that first night in this fetid little paradise when I prayed that in spite of all my secret power, I was somehow kin to every mortal man. - The Vampire Lestat

11. Wicked Game – Chris Isaak

What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you

Yet Louis gained a hold over me far more powerful than Nicolas had ever had. Even in his cruelest moments, Louis touched the tenderness in me, seducing me with his staggering dependence, his infatuation with my every gesture and every spoken word. - The Vampire Lestat

12. Do I disappoint you – Rufus Wainwright

Do I disappoint you, in just being human? And not one of the elements that you can light your cigar on Why does it always have to be fire? Why does it always have to be brimstone?

„And suppose the vampire who made you knew nothing, and the vampire before him knew nothing, and so it goes back and back, nothing proceeding from nothing, until there is nothing! And we must live with the knowledge that there is no knowledge!“ „Yes!“ he cried out suddenly, his hands out, his voice tinged with something other than anger.

And then I sensed it. He was afraid. Lestat afraid. - Interview with the Vampire

13. Ordinary World – Duran Duran

What has happened to it all? Crazy, some'd say Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive

I do not remember when it became the twentieth century, only that everything was uglier and darker, and the beauty I'd known in the old eighteenth-century days seemed more than ever some kind of fanciful idea. - The Vampire Lestat

14. I'm still standing – Taron Egerton (Original by Elton John)

And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use And did you think this fool could never win? Well look at me, I'm coming back again

But after the third night up, I was roaring around New Orleans on a big black Harley-Davidson motorcycle making plenty of noise myself. […] I was the vampire Lestat again. I was back in action. New Orleans was once again my hunting ground. - The Vampire Lestat

15. Catch my fall – Billy Idol

I have the time so I will sing, yeah I'm just a boy but I will win, yeah Lost song of lovers, fellow travelers, yeah Leave me sad and hollow out of words

It could happen to you so think for yourself If I should stumble, catch my fall, yeah

I've survived, obviously. I wouldn't be talking to you if I hadn't. And the cosmic dust has finally settled; and the small rift in the world's fabric of rational beliefs has been mended, or at least closed. I'm a little sadder for all of it, and a little meaner and a little more conscientious as well. - The Queen of the Damned

16. I want it all – Queen

I'm a man with a one track mind So much to do in one lifetime (people do you hear me) Not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies So I'm living it all, yes I'm living it all And I'm giving it all, and I'm giving it all

It is not enough any longer that my little rock band be successful. We must create a fame that will carry my name and my voice to the remotest parts of the world. - The Vampire Lestat

17. Let me entertain you – Robbie Williams

Hell is gone and heaven's here There's nothing left for you to fear Shake your arse come over here Now scream

I'm a burning effigy Of everything I used to be You're my rock of empathy, my dear

So come on let me entertain you

"I AM THE VAMPIRE LESTAT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I stepped way back from the microphone, and the sound was almost visible as it arched over the length of the oval theater, and the voice of the crowd rose even higher, louder, as if to devour the ringing sound. - The Vampire Lestat

18. La bien qui fait mal – Mozart l'Opera Rock (Full translation)

I can feel a violent urge I feel like I'm sliding towards the ground If I don't find out where this plague is coming from I adore having it under my skin Bewitched by mad ideas Suddenly all my cravings take off The desire becomes my prison Until I loose my mind

Yet I was in her arms in this chilling darkness, in the familiar scent of winter, and her blood was mine again, and it was enslaving me. When she drew away, I felt agony. - The Queen of the Damned

19. Tainted Love – Soft Cell

And you think love is to pray But I'm sorry I don't pray that way Once I ran to you Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not living, oh

„What do you think I am that I am so easily swayed? I was born a Queen. I have always ruled; even from the shrine I ruled." Her eyes were glazed suddenly. I heard the voices, a dull hum rising. "I ruled if only in legend; if only in the minds of those who came to me and paid me tribute. Princes who played music for me; who brought me offerings and prayers. What do you want of me now? That for you, I renounce my throne, my destiny!" What answer could I make? - The Queen of the Damned

20. Dancing in the Dark – Ruth Moody (Original by Bruce Springsteen)

They say you gotta stay hungry Hey baby, I'm just about starvin' tonight I'm dyin' for some action I'm sick of sittin' 'round here tryin' to write this book I need a love reaction Come on now, baby, gimme just one look

"I want you to put the book aside and come join us," he said. "You've been locked in here for over a month." "I go out now and then," I said. I liked looking at him, at the neon blue of his eyes.

"Do you love me now?" I asked. He smiled; oh, it was excruciating to see his face soften and brighten simultaneously when he smiled. "Yes," he said. "Want to go on a little adventure?" My heart was thudding suddenly. It would be so grand if- "Want to break the new rules?" "What in the world do you mean?" he whispered. - The Queen of the Damned

21. I want you – Savage Garden

Oh, I want you, I don't know if I need you But oh, I would die to find out

"You don't think you'll be back?" he asked. "I think you will, whether I call or not." Another little surprise. A little stab of humiliation. I smiled at him in spite of myself. He was a very interesting man. "You silver-tongued British bastard," I said. "How dare you say that to me with such condescension? Maybe I should kill you right now."

I thought of David Talbot's face, and that moment when he'd challenged me. Well, maybe he was right. I'd be back. Who said I couldn't come back and talk to him if I wanted to? - The Queen of the Damned

22. Lay your hands on me – Bon Jovi

I'm a fighter, I'm a poet, I'm a preacher I've been to school, oh baby, I've been the teacher If you show me how to get up off the ground I can show you how to fly and never ever come back down

I sat down on the bed beside him. And then I bent down and kissed his face again gently, as I had in New Orleans, liking the feel of his roughly shaven beard, just as I liked that sort of thing when I was really Lestat and I would soon have that strong masculine blood inside. I moved closer to him, when suddenly he grasped my hand, and I felt him gently push me away. „Why, David?“ I asked him. He didn't answer. He lifted his right hand and brushed my hair back out of my eyes. „I don't know,“ he whispered. „I can't. I simply can't.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

23. 20th Century Boy – Placebo (Original by T-Rex)

I move like a cat, charge like a ram Sting like a bee, babe, I wanna be your man, hey!

He drew back with a speed that astonished me, cleaving to the wall. „Don't do this, Lestat.“ „Don't fight me, old friend. You waste your effort. You have a long night of discovery ahead.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

24. Way down we go – KALEO

Oh, Father tell me, do we get what we deserve? Whoa, we get what we deserve And way down we go

„In chains, to my friend and my scribe, I dictated these words. Come with me. Just listen to me. Don't leave me alone.“ - Memnoch the Devil

25. Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode

Reach out, touch faith

"Don't tell me," Gabrielle said slurringly, "that it's a matter of faith." She sneered and shook her head. "You come like doubting Thomas to thrust your bloody fangs in the very wound." "Oh, stop, please, I beg you," I whispered. I put up my hands. "Let me try, and let him hurt me, and then be satisfied, and turn away." - The Vampire Armand

26. Papillon – Editors

Darling Just don't put down your guns yet If there really was a God here He'd have raised a hand by now Now darling You're born, get old, then die here Well that's quite enough for me We'll find our own way home somehow

"And if I spill my blood down into this coffin now," Lestat asked her, "what do you think will come back? Do you think it will be our Louis that will rise in these burnt rags? What if it's not, chérie, what if it's some wounded revenant that we must destroy?" "Choose life, Lestat," she said. - Merrick

27. Sunday Light – Choir Boy

Why, why, why, are you silent on the ride home? I'd love to see the temple with you Heavenly and bright, golden angel twisted scathing You were one of us, one of us, one of us, you were one of us

"Then come, Little Brother, take me to where you want to talk," he said, and I felt the soft squeeze of his fingers on my arm. "Why are you so kind to me?" I asked him. "You're used to people being paid to do it, aren't you?" he asked. - Blackwood Farm

28. Für mich solls rote Rosen regnen – Hildegard Knef (It should rain red roses for me - Full translation)

It should rain red roses for me All wonders should encounter me The world should rearrange itself And keep its worries to itself

I want to be a saint. I want to save souls by the millions. I want to do good far and wide. I want to fight evil! I want my life-sized statue in every church. I'm talking six feet tall, blond hair, blue eyes- Wait a second. Do you know who I am? - Blood Canticle

29. Constant Craving – K. D. Lang

Even through the darkest phase Be it thick or thin Always someone marches brave Here beneath my skin And constant craving Has always been

I was hunting, thirsting though I didn't need to drink, at the mercy of the craving, the deep agonizing lust for heated pumping human blood. - Prince Lestat

30. Kalte Sterne – Jan Ammann (Cold Stars from the musical Ludwig² - Full translation)

Get up, ride home, on your horse, through your land Across the morning with your reins trailing behind you Build a castle like a dream, build it with mighty hands And it shall be named „future“

Build a castle like a dream Up from the ashes and close to the heavens Build a castle like a dream And realise the future as king

If we wanted to survive, if we wanted to inherit the millenia […] then we had to meet the future with respect as well as courage and count fear and selfishness to be small things. - Prince Lestat and the realms of Atlantis

31. C'est une belle journée – Mylene Farmer (Full translation)

I'm going to bed To bite eternity With my mouth wide open It's a beautiful day

And I felt the cold numbing shell of alienation and despair which had imprisoned me all of my life among the Undead – I felt that shell cracked, broken, and dissolved utterly into infinitesimal fragments. - Blood Communion

32. Princes of the Universe – Queen

Fly the moon and reach for the stars With my sword and head held high Got to pass the test first time, yeah I know that people talk about me, I hear it every day But I can prove them wrong 'cause I'm right first time

„I know that you meant full well to bring Rhoshamandes down, of course you did. But you had no way of knowing that you could. And no one would have predicted that you could. And with the willingness to die, you gave yourself over into his hands... and you disarmed him and destroyed him.“ – Blood Communion

And finally, because I can, a bonus track:

33. Primadonna – MARINA

And I'm sad to the core, core, core Every day is a chore, chore, chore When you give, I want more, more, more I wanna be adored

[flowerbloom-arts]

A 2434 word long fic about Fuddler talking to a maybe not actually real version of his father after trying to escape from a recent event in his life and failing. Now I would've written a 50s sitcom episode of Fuddler's family that would've lead up to this point if I had the motivation, but I didn't, so here you go. I hope you enjoy this!

---

The set of the show had become undone and the fourth wall was nothing but a non-existent window into the stage, the Muddler, tear stained and tired of his child's shenanigans, went up from the table he was crying at and walked to the empty director's chair with 'The Fuddler' embroidered on the back and sat on it. The Muddler grabbed the megaphone that sat on one of the armrests and spoke into it in a very clearly annoyed tone of voice: 'Cut. Take 2. Excuse me! That wasn't a bad first take but all of you really fell apart at scene 15.'

But the rest of the cast had been frozen in place, basically mannequins, all except Fuddler, who was in fact the mastermind behind this mess. The small and fuddly creature looked around in a slight bit of confusion and decided to walk up to his father on his director's chair, it did have his name on it afterall. 'Excuse me, aren't I supposed to be sitting there?' he asked rather sheepishly, there was a thought in the back of his head that knows exactly why but he's too afraid to make that thought even slightly tangible.

'Well, yes,' answered the Muddler matter-of-factly 'but due to poor management someone else had to take over.' he added, he spun the megaphone around and inspecting it in a rather disinterested manner. If it's anyone, it really didn't seem to be the father that Fuddler knew, even if he was stained with dark brown tears on his face and wore ragged feminine attire indicative of a mental breakdown, which was a sight that would only be familiar as the Muddler.

'Maybe. Though we should probably take a break, that breakdown didn't look all that... The breakdown seemed very exhausting to act out,' Said the Fuddler, trying to avoid going over this episode another time.

'Sure,' Muddler said, he didn't even care to glance at his child, he put down the megaphone on the floor and rested his face on his paw resting on the armrest, looking off to the black void beyond the set or nearby part of the studio.

Fuddler sighed with relief and a tinge of discomfort, he decided it was best to sit down next to his father and look back at the scene that was frozen in time. It was not even the slightest bit amusing to say the least, it's just everyone looking concerned over Muddler having a breakdown but Muddler isn't even there, you could see the Fuzzy, Fuddler's mother, placing a hand on what was Muddler's back, great uncle Hodgkins and Sniff are looking on confused and concerned, and Moomintroll had just walked in with not even the slightest idea of what's going on. The Fuddler stared at it for a few moments before saying what was on his mind while the scene was happening 'That... That breakdown... It wasn't in the script.'

'What script?' Muddler asked as if Fuddler was too dumb to even remember he didn't even make one. Of course there wasn't any script to speak of.

'I- I dunno!' Fuddler blurted out with the realization 'You guys were basically reading my mind anyway! I thought that was something like reading a script-!'

'Were we reading your mind or were you controlling us?' Muddler asked, almost cutting him off.

Fuddler was a bit surprised at the sudden interruption, it's really unlike his father to act anything close to this, is this even his father? Fuddler started to actually question everything about this, as if it wasn't a very obvious thing he should've questioned at the start. He looked down and curled up into a more fetus-like sitting position, kind of avoiding answering the question.

'Now tell me, child, why this?' Muddler gestures vaguely toward the set.

'What do you mean?' Fuddler looked up at Muddler and asked innocently.

'Why the television show?' he clarified, he lowered his resting paw and finally looked at Fuddler for once, though he did look very... unpleasant.

Fuddler felt very uncomfortable at the question and simply answered with an 'I dunno...' like a small child, he certainly looked and acted like one either way despite being an adult.

Muddler sighed disappointedly and went back to staring at the set 'Is this really how you're gonna deal with what happened? What even did happen, anyway?' he asked, even he was unsure of the origins of this.

'I... I actually don't remember... Excuse me, sorry, oh dear... What was I thinking?' Fuddler asked, he was mostly asking himself that.

'That's right, what were you thinking?' Muddler repeated Fuddler with annoyance 'Did you really think you could reduce your own family into cheap tropes and live like that?'

'I wasn't trying to do that!' Fuddler cried 'I just thought...! I thought if I could live just one happy day after 10 years of nonstop misery-!'

'And you did that by retreating into some ideal version of reality the city gave you through a light box?'

'Yes!' Fuddler blurted out, he realised what he said outloud and slowly went back into a balled up position on the floor 'Just... Atleast those people on TV seemed happier... Happier than we ever could've been when we moved to the city,' Fuddler argued with a quieter but ultimately defeated tone, this wasn't how things were supposed to go in his mind.

'Is that why you wanted to move away so badly?' Muddler asked in a more sincere and worried tone of voice, much more like his regular self and what Fuddler would be used to.

'Maybe,' Fuddler answered simply 'Or I guess there were other things too...' he added.

'Oh I could definitely list them off for you,' Muddler suddenly went back to a menacing tone.

Fuddler suddenly felt a great shock to his system and did not want anything Muddler could be implying 'Please don't-'

'Well first of all,' Muddler didn't let his child finish and he didn't seem to care in the slightest 'you didn't like other creatures shoehorning you into their ideas of what you should be, you didn't like the boring concrete buildings, you hated the constant noisiness of that wretched city, you couldn't bare the constant mockery from your own peers, they kept thinking you were a twelve year old - which you never grew out of being one after all these years by the way - and kept thinking you were lying when you said you weren't, you didn't like the lack of frogs or swamps or free things to collect off the street, you were being discriminated against for being a clumsy little mut, and most of all-'

'Please stop!' Fuddler cried.

'MOST OF ALL,' Muddler repeated louder to talk over Fuddler 'You hated me. Your own father. Simply because he couldn't land a simple job and was too feminine for anyone's liking!'

'NO!' Fuddler jumped up and tried to hold onto his dad's arm, but Muddler quickly got it away from him.

'YES! You kept having the same negative comments and jokes repeated to you over and over and you thought they were making fun of you by association! You don't want anything to do with the way I am and yet you keep chugging along the same way I did!' Muddler cried 'You were happy enough to tell my dear old friend mr. Moomin that people said you took after me and leave it at that! What if he asked you even further? Would you have talked about me in a good way!?'

'STOP! PLEASE!' Fuddler was almost in tears at this.

'Oh I see how it is! Just admit it! You hate me! Why else would you shove me in as the comic relief? Why else would I break out of character if you didn't know it'd be completely out of line for who I actually am!? I am anything BUT happy and you know this! No matter how hard you try I will cry eventually because I'm that dumb and sensitive about everything! The only things that you got right about me is that I'm clumsy and that I love you!' Muddler started tearing up through all the yelling 'You know deep down I love you... It's not your fault... right?'

Fuddler wanted to cover his face in his saucepan but unfortunately he was in his sitcom costume which lacked it completely, all he could really do was bury his face in his paws and try not to cry, muddler tears are much like that of a dog's, mixed in with blood waste and it stains your face, you'd need some cloth and water to clean it. Very inconvenient for a man, they aren't supposed to cry, and the stains make it very obvious you did.

'Fuddler... Did you really think this was going to solve anything?' Muddler got up from the director's chair to kneel down and lowered Fuddler's paws away from his face, Muddler's face was... trying to be comforting but that got ruined by the tear stains, which was being added onto by him crying at this very moment, he looked down at Fuddler's paws, looked back up at his face and added '... At all?'

Fuddler didn't make an attempt to make eye contact with his father, those strange 'u' shaped pupils were familiar but the idea of them not being normal at all still brought him some form of discomfort '... I just... Excuse me. I just thought that maybe... If I could feel better, somehow, maybe the problem would be less of a problem...'

'Fuddler, you don't even remember what the problem was,' Muddler said, he held his child's chin up to make him look at him directly 'You know this.'

'I know...' Fuddler admitted 'I think the cause is starting to come back to me... I think... It's still a little foggy...'

Muddler sighed 'How many times have you done something like this?'

'I...' Fuddler started thinking 'I don't know... I never bothered counting.'

'So this clearly isn't the first time.'

'It definitely doesn't feel like the first time... say for the addition of a few cast members,' Fuddler added the last part as a sly attempt at humor, he was referring to Moomintroll, Jumble and Sniff.

'Of course,' Muddler said with a touch of melancholy and sat on the floor beside Fuddler, Fuddler followed suit 'Do you think this is normal?'

'Dad, I moved to Moominvalley to get away from 'normal'!'

'You moved to Moominvalley to feel normal, there's a difference. And that's an important difference to realise,' said the Muddler, the black and white studio faded into a sepia tone as it seemed to transition into a lake sort of scene, almost unnoticeably to the Fuddler.

'Why's that?' Fuddler asked.

Muddler picked up a flower that happened to be next him, well- not actually, a sort of ethereal copy of the flower formed which left the real one untouched, Muddler looked thoughtfully at the flower in his hands 'If you know the difference, then maybe you can appreciate the specific thing that makes this place feel like you feel normal.'

Fuddler stared at the flower and glanced up at his father '... You're not really my dad, are you?'

'You think that now?' Muddler questioned with an amused undertone.

Fuddler felt almost silly about it, of course this Muddler isn't real, why would he think otherwise? 'I dunno... I guess I got cought up in the all the acting that... I forgot I'm just talking to myself...'

'Does it really matter, though?' Muddler raised an eyebrow with a slight smile on his face 'Atleast you got it out of your system, you twelve year old.'

'Don't call me a twelve year old!' Fuddler cried in defense.

'Then why do you act like one?'

'How can I not act like one if I look like one?' he said, slightly furious at the subject being brought up.

'People can turn invisible if they're abused enough, maybe this is something similar?' Muddler suggested.

'Tsch, magic, sure.' Fuddler waved off dismissively.

'You stayed as the same Fuddler that you were when we lost Sniff, excuse me but you really don't think there's something connected here?' Muddler asked rather rhetorically 'You graduated college with a degree in biology and live by yourself in the coffee tin you inherited from me and yet you still chase after a woman like you have a preteen crush on her with absolutely no clue as to how to talk to a girl.'

Fuddler cringed at the memory of his attempted courtship of the Mymble and recoiled back into a ball position.

'But atleast it seems like you learned from it, just... Don't let things paint your views so easily, sir,' Muddler placed the flower on Fuddler's head.

'Don't use 'sir' on me...' Fuddler muttered quietly.

'Well, what do you want me to refer to you as? Ma'am?'

'That's even worse!' Fuddler shut down the idea almost immediately, he grabbed the flower from his head and looked at it 'Neither of them feel all that right...'

'Right,' Muddler said 'It's fine if you don't want to be referred to as either of those.'

'It's not just that... I don't really feel like a... A man. Atleast not how the world seems to think of one.'

'You're a button collector, Fuddler. Maybe you should start calling yourself that instead.'

'You can do that?' Fuddler seems to be almost bewildered but not totally against the idea.

'Fuddler, I'm a half woman who calls itself a man, anyone can be anything, especially in places like this valley. You don't have to define yourself by those standards anymore.' Muddler explained.

Fuddler stared at his father with a thoughtful expression on his face 'Like I don't have to define my family by any of those standards...' he looks back down at the flower in his paw.

'That's the spirit!' Muddler punches his child lightly on the shoulder 'And whatever the problem was... I hope you can fix it, it's not easy but... It'll be better for the long run.'

'Right...' Fuddler flicked the flower into the lake, it simply dissolves in mid-air rather than land into the water or anything 'I'm sorry about... Everything. I'm still very, very dumb.'

The Muddler laughed ever so slightly 'You'll get it in time, I promise.'

'... Maybe.' Fuddler said rather hopefully. The Muddler seemed to dissolve away like the flower did and the world faded into full color. It looks like that episode was a wrap, one might say. Now it's time to figure out why it had to be made.

[favefandomimagines]

Soul Surfer 6

AN: SURPRISE BITCHES chapter 6 came early!!! we get some cute Kie/Sarah/Violet action in this as well as some John B/Violet! we stan healthy platonic relationships!!

ALSO: i can’t tag anymore people 😭 i’ve reached the 50 tags limit! if anyone has any suggestions to tag more people, dm me!!

It had been around five days since Violet had spoken to JJ. Kiara made sure that the girl still knew that her, John B and Pope still wanted her around. They weren’t about to give up two friends because JJ was being an idiot.

Kiara knew that Violet was worried that they’d stop hanging out with her because JJ was their best friend. But to Kiara, Violet was also her best friend. In such a short amount of time too.

Violet had been throwing herself into work, all of the orders keeping her mind busy from wandering to JJ. Which it often did most nights and then she resorted to watching true crime shows on Netflix as a distraction.

JJ wasn’t doing any better. He kept trying to get her to talk to him so he could apologize but it was no use. Violet wouldn’t budge. He hated not being able to see her and to talk to her. He had to go back to sleeping at John B’s whenever he was afraid to go home. Of course he was grateful he had a place to go, but he wanted it to be Violet.

Violet hadn’t seen Pope and John B since the night at the Boneyard. She didn’t want them picking sides between her and JJ. It would have made her feel more guilty than she already did.

Kiara and Sarah, however, made sure they stuck by her like glue. Violet couldn’t seem to shake them but she didn’t mind at all.

Violet, Sarah and Kiara were presently at The Wreck having a well needed girls day.

“Okay, okay, Vi. If you had to choose: Harry Styles or Tom Holland?” Sarah asked. “That’s not fair! It’s like asking me to pick a favorite child!” Violet replied. Kiara and Sarah laughed at the girl’s response as she pondered the thought.

“Okay, fine. Harry Styles. Any day of the week.” Violet answered. The three girls sat at their table, falling into mindless conversation about boys and clothes, just happy they were able to spend time together, when the bell on top of the door rang.

Their attention was grabbed by the sound. Violet’s heartbeat sped up rapidly when her eyes landed on the blonde boy.

“Vi, I didn’t know he’d be here.” Kiara said quietly. “It’s fine.” Violet said, fidgeting with the rings on her fingers.

“Hey guys! You didn’t tell us you were hanging out today.” John B greeted the three. “Last time I checked this is girls day. Which you are not.” Kiara sassed back.

Violet refused to look up at her friend as they conversed with each other. She could feel JJ’s eyes on her and it made her skin feel on fire.

It was starting to slowly overwhelm her and she heard JJ utter a few words, she quickly got up from her chair and exited the establishment. Sarah and Kiara looked at each other before JJ followed after her.

“Violet!” He called. Violet didn’t stop walking, not wanting to face him. “Please talk to me.” JJ begged, grabbing her arm gently. “I told you to leave me alone.” Violet said, ripping her arm from his grasp.

She still refused to look at him, knowing that if she did, she’d actually end up listening to his potential apology.

“God, can you at least look at me?” He asked. Violet paused a moment before she finally looked up at him.

Only then did he see how upset she really was. At the Boneyard, the darkness hid her face and he silently wished for that again.

“What do you wanna say, JJ? You’re sorry? Sorry for what you said? You wish you could take it all back? Well you can’t! I trusted you. I didn’t tell anyone about my mom and you decided to use that against me.” Violet snapped. “Violet, I,” JJ started before the brunette scoffed and turned away.

JJ was persistent, however, going after Violet once more in another desperate attempt to get her to listen to him.

“I screwed up! I know that! I was mad at Rafe for what he said and instead of finishing to take it out on him, I took it out on you and I’m sorry!” JJ said.

Violet rolled her eyes and kept ignoring him by the time they approached her house.

“Please, JJ, just stop.” She pleaded quietly. JJ could see the hurt in her eyes. How her once bright, cerulean blue eyes were now a darker shade. He would describe it as how the ocean looked during a storm. And he wanted nothing more than to stop her pain.

Before either of them could continue with the painful conversation, the sound of raised voices alerted them both.

“Vivienne, you need to leave now.” Rob’s voice said. JJ watched as Violet’s eyes widened and the color seemingly drained from her face. “She’s my daughter too, Rob.” A woman said.

The two ‘adults’ walked on to the porch and their conversation ceased when they saw Violet and JJ.

“Violet, honey,” Vivienne started. “No. No, this is not happening.” She muttered. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Violet sneered. “Language, young lady.” Her mother scolded her. “You lost the right to tell me what to do when you gave up your parental rights!” Violet yelled.

“Vi, it’s okay.” Her older brother, Nick, said. Violet looked at her brother in disbelief at the fact that he was defending their mother.

Nick was three years older than Violet, the two being inseparable since Violet was born. That was until their mother took him and left. When Nick was old enough, he reached back out to Violet and their father trying to rebuild that bond they once shared. It worked for the most part though Violet never told Nick where they moved to.

“Both of you shut up.” Violet snapped. She turned around quickly when she realized JJ was still standing close to her. “You were right. Guess I am a sad little rich girl with mommy issues.” She muttered to him before she took off running.

“Violet!” Rob yelled. “Vi!” JJ added. The two males looked at each other momentarily before their gaze returned to Violet’s fleeting figure.

__

“You shouldn’t have come here, Vivienne. You knew what this would do to her.” Rob told his ex wife. “She’s still my child. I have a right.” Vivienne said. “You lost your right when you left! You signed away your parental rights to Violet the second you signed the divorce papers.” Rob yelled.

The room fell in a silence, though that didn’t stop the two teenage boys from eavesdropping on the porch.

“It’s been 10 years. 10 years and I’ve taken care of Violet just fine. We have been just fine.” Rob added.

Back on the porch, JJ and Nick sat on sides from each other. “So, you Violet’s boyfriend?” Nick asked, breaking the silence. “God, I wish.” JJ muttered before quickly correcting himself.

“Uh, no. We’re just friends. Or at least we were before I messed it up.” He added. Nick was quiet for a moment as he moved to lean on the porch railing.

“Take it from me, losing Violet sucks. But, if you beg and plead enough, she’ll let you back in.” He said. “Did you tell your mom Violet and Rob were here?” JJ asked. “God, no. Violet didn’t even tell me. Just because I’m back in her good graces doesn’t mean she tells me everything.” the older boy answered.

JJ thought for a moment until he realized he might know where Violet went.

On one of the many adventures JJ and Violet had together, JJ took her to a secret clearing he once discovered when he was running from his dad.

“Where are you taking me?” Violet asked with a laugh. “You ask too many questions.” JJ answered. “I’ve seen Criminal Minds, is this where you kill me?” She questioned. “No, pretty girl. I couldn’t survive without seeing that face every day.” JJ replied flirtatiously.

Violet rolled her eyes until they came upon a clearing in the woods. There was a small waterfall that went into a small pond below. “Wow, it’s beautiful.” She commented.

“That’s not the only thing.” JJ said, hoping Violet wouldn’t hear him but she did. “I know how you’ve been missing home so I thought this would help.” The blonde said.

Violet looked up at JJ before she wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you.” Violet whispered.

JJ knew Violet wouldn’t want him to be the one to find her, so he sent a text to the rest of the Pogues.

Kie had to work, as did Pope, and Sarah was dealing with her own messed up familial issues. John B was the only one able to go find Violet. JJ trusted him to talk her off whatever edge she found herself on.

The boy wandered through the woods, following JJ’s instructions, though the teenager wasn’t so good at giving directions. He swatted at the numerous bugs getting in his face when he found the clearing.

He saw Violet sitting on a rock, her feet dangling in the water. “Fancy seeing you here.” John B announced.

Violet turned around and saw her distant friend standing a few feet away. “How’d you find me?” She asked. “JJ. He figured you wouldn’t want to see him but he wanted to make sure you were okay.” John B explained, walking towards her.

He sat down on the rock next to her as the two looked at the waterfall for a moment.

“Did he tell you what happened?” Violet asked. “No. He told me some family stuff was going on and wanted someone to check on you. Said it was your story to tell.” He answered.

Violet sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. “He’s really trying, isn't he?” She asked him. “He really likes you, Vi. He’s never fallen this hard before and I don’t think he knows how to handle it. But yeah, he really is trying.” John Be said.

After an hour, John B drove Violet back home. By that point, the sun had set and it was already dark.

Violet sat in the van, staring at her house for a moment. Scared of what she was going to walk into. “It’s now or never.” John B told her. “And I’ll tell JJ you’re okay.” He added.

The girl groaned before getting out of the van. She gave John B a small wave as she slowly walked up the stairs.

“You’re back.” A voice said. Violet jumped and turned in that direction to see her brother sitting on the porch swing. Violet sighed and took a seat next to him.

“That guy was here for a while. At least two hours. We heard mom and dad fighting about you.” Nick said. “He really cares about you.” He added.

“So I’ve been told.” She muttered. “You sticking around?” She asked. “That’s why I’m here. I’m getting emancipated and I needed dad to sign off on the papers and mom followed me here. When I caught on she said it had something to do with getting us back or whatever. She’s crazy.” Nick explained.

“Tell me something I don’t know. So can I count on you to help me get rid of her?” Violet asked. “What are brothers for?” NIck replied.

Violet rested her head on her brother’s shoulder, her brain working a mile a minute.

Tag list: @outerbxmalia @hockeyschmockey @allie-mcginn @prejudic3 @sexualparkour @k-k0129 @iamaunicorn4704 @milamaybank @jj-maybabe @diverrdown @sweetwatermelonsugar @alexa-playafricabytoto @aaleksmorozova @fandom-phaser @princessmugglecup @infinityspaceuniverse @teamnick @lulbabes @frankiebcanon @srirachabi @starxdame @holadrxrry @lopineapples @belledutchess @floridabornandraised @obbx-tings @x-lulu @hopelesswritingxd @prettyboyspence @junkiemuppettxx @shawnssongs @theloxersclub @99sxuxii @jeyramarie @miliefayy @rudths @y0ungandfuckingdumb @xealia @hotel-colson @bubblesam06 @outrbank @thebendslikebendover @wasted-on-5sos @booksandshish @drizzlethatfalls @runway-to-my-aid @never-ever-too-many-fandoms @xlittlemissydjx @strawberryblondies @haharudy @chickencrispers666 @simonsbluee @httpstarkey @kylable

[killiansprincss]

Never Forget You Ch.13

Season 6A Canon Divergence.

Emma is happy. Finally happy with her parents, son and boyfriend. But this happiness is taken away from her when the Evil Queen curses her and turns her into a toddler.

Heartbroken and angry, Killian and Henry run away to Neverland to wait for Emma to break her curse. But when she does break it and comes looking for them 25 years later, she soon realises this Neverland is very different now it is no longer under Pans rule.

Will she be able to save Henry and Killian in time, or will this new ruler of Neverland keep them hostage forever?

Also on AO3

Chapter 13 of my Neverland fic is up :))) please go check it out if you’re a lover of CS and especially angst. This fic is about halfway through and it’s my baby so give it some love!

________

“Tonight.” Henry tells his mother after her constant pestering.

“What?” Emma asks, “What happens tonight?”

“The Lost Ones. They still come to the Island at night in a dream state.Killian and I help them, or at least he used to. Don’t give up on Killian just yet, show him you’re not leaving. True Loves Kiss or something might wake him up.”

Emma smiles at her son's enthusiasm, “I don’t think True Love's Kiss will work, he isn't under a curse, but you’re right I do need to show him that I am going to stick around. I was so afraid of losing him until he showed me he wasn’t going anywhere, so now it’s time to return the favor.”

And so Henry tells his mother all about the Lost Ones of this New Neverland, how they come from all the realms, magical and non magical, Pan's shadow no longer steals them from their beds, it’s how it was before Pan, lost kids travel to Neverland and they think they're dreaming. The magic from Morpheus allows them to travel in their dream state and Henry likes to help as many of them as he can, if he never sees them again he believes it's for the best, that they aren’t lost anymore.

Henry also tells the story of why Killian no longer helps the Lost ones.

~~~

Killian didn’t know how long he had been back in Neverland. It had been a while, but he wasn’t sure if that meant weeks or years.

Morpheus, god of dreams allowed sleeping children to travel to Neverland who felt lost or lonely. Being in Neverland they could do whatever they wanted, eat cake for hours without feeling sick, and even fly. It made Killian happy that Neverland was being used to bring joy to kids without Pans evil tricks.

There was one little boy who he took a liking to and wanted to help. Eli Brewer. He was a young lad of maybe 10, short, dark hair, dark skin, and the lost look in his eyes that was all too familiar.

“So I can really do whatever I want here?” Eli asks, still amazed at what this island can offer.

“Yes lad, what you want, wish for it and it’ll appear.” Killian says crouching down to his level.

Eli closes his eyes. “I wish. I wish for the chocolate cake I stole from the bakery for me and Hugo that one time,”

Killians heart aches. He remembers Liam doing something similar for them once.

Eli’s eyes light up when he opens them to find a slice of chocolate cake in his hands.

“Where do you come from lad?” He asks, wanting to know how best he can help him.

With chocolate smeared round his face, he replies, “I come from the kingdom of Mirimois, it’s just a half a mile away from Longbourne. It’s just my little brother and me, our mother died years ago and our father ran away. I have to look after Hugo, we’ve been sleeping in between barrels at the nearby ports. I’m hoping someone will give me a job so that we can receive shelter and food.”

Killian was all too familiar with this situation. He and Liam would sleep by the docks after their father left, nobody would say anything, the sailors and pirates would leave them to sleep for a night, maybe even offer a blanket. Then in the morning they would be gone and on the hunt for another place to sleep.

“Well enjoy the festivities Neverland has to offer tonight, and if you wish to return tomorrow you may.”

Eli did enjoy what Neverland had to offer. And he came back, night after night, for weeks. And it was night after night that Killian took a liking to him, and wanted to make a change.

“Lad I’ve been thinking about your situation. You come from Longbourn, correct?”

Eli looks up from his cake he’s eating. “Yeah why?”

“There’s a kingdom nearby Thiroris. The king there is a kind man.” Killian did not like royalty, a habit of his pirate days. But in the missing year he came to know the Prince of a kingdom, who spent most of his time in the tavern where Killian and his crew drank. He was a good prince, and cared for the orphans in his kingdoms, and he learnt during his time in Storybrooke that his father had died and he was now King.

“I’ve heard of that kingdom. Our mother was from there.” Eli tells him with an excited smile.

“If you and your younger brother were to ask for refuge at his palace, I’m sure he would help you and give you a place to sleep and food to eat as magnificent as this chocolate cake.” Killian smiles at the lad, he reminds him so much of Liam. No boy his age should have to find work or worry about a safe place to sleep.

“You think?” Eli asks with the brightest smile on his face.

Killian just nods and allows him to enjoy his, hopefully, last night in Neverland.

Eli doesn’t return to Neverland that night, or the might after that. Killian takes that as a good sign. Eli never steps foot in Neverland again.

But it wasn’t a happy ending.

Some time later though a little boy the image of Eli yet younger appears in Neverland.

“My name is Hugo, my brother Eli and I were on our own for a while. Then he told me that if we go to this other kingdom a nice king would help us. But there were guards with arrows, and my brother got hit. He said he was in a better place, that he was going to see our mama. But now I’m all alone.” He explained and suddenly it made sense why Eli hadn’t returned to Neverland. He’d been caught in the crossfire of an arrow not meant for children. And now Hugo was a lost boy, he’d lost his brother like Killian had lost his, just at such a harsher age.

Killian now related to Hugo, he knew what he was dealing with, losing his brother and being all alone. Obviously this 7 year old boy couldn’t become a pirate or run away like he had done, but he could give him advice on how to deal with losing a brother.

He could have done those things. But he had ruined this poor boy’s life by giving his brother advice that got him killed. Instead, he stayed out of his way, didn’t give him advice and just was there to let them know the rules of Neverland and it’s dreamworld.

Many lost kids came and went and he didn’t really notice when Hugo stopped visiting.

_______

Emma can hear the cries of the Lost Ones. It’s what she heard the first night she was back here, and her very first night in Neverland 30 years ago.

When she was younger (orphan timeline) she wished she could escape to Neverland and be like the Lost Boys. That was before she knew the Disney Movie was nothing like the real story. She wanted to escape, be somewhere where it didn’t matter if she didn’t have parents or a family who loved her.

But then when she was 28, she had found her family. Granted she didn’t believe she had at first, but in her defence, who would believe a 10 year old saying he lived in a town with fairytale characters?  And then it was a long and rocky road until they felt like a family. And then the Evil Queen pressed a reset button and she had the chance to grow up feeling loved and never felt alone. She was grateful in some ways, but now she was conflicted, was she still a lost girl, an orphan who found her family at 28, or was she the girl that grew up with her family who loved her.

So when Henry told her about the lost kids, and that he tries to help them, her heart cried out. She wished she had someone to help her, keep her on the right track in life. Don’t give up hope. There is a family out there for you, whether biologically related to you or not. When she came to Storybrooke the first time, and thought Henry’s stories were well stories, she had found family, Mary Margaret was the first friend she had in a long time and she became her family, the way she invited her into her home and the way they defended each other when Regina framed or tried to undermine them.

She had learnt that family wasn’t always blood, it was those who cared about you. That’s what she would tell the lost ones, that finding someone who cares about you, is all you need.

“Mom! There you are!” Henry whispers shouts when he sees her at the clearing to the lost ones where he told her to wait. The lost ones clearing used to be Pans camp, so it was strange being back there and helping lost kids this time.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? What about Cecelia?” Emma asks, worried about when she eventually runs into the fairy.”

“Don’t worry, she’s never there throughout the night, she was here an hour ago to prepare the pixie dust, then tomorrow morning she’ll collect any dust left over.” Henry explains, calming her nerves, they still hadn’t decided how they were going to defeat her.

Emma and Henry walk into the clearing, and it looks pretty much the same as Pans camp did, with large trees and bushes surrounding the perimeter, and logs all around that serve as benches. The hammocks and beds were gone though, seeing as the lost ones no longer stayed longer than throughout the night. In the centre was a fountain that contained golden pixie dust that was glowing. There were a couple kids scattered around, one blonde haired boy was flying and giggling, another small girl was grinning as she was eating her ice cream, and a couple others were talking to one another on the logs.

Henry goes over to a boy with dark hair sitting by one of the trees, and gives her a look that says ‘go for it.’

She looks around at the kids, some are having the time of their life flying around or eating cake and ice cream. Others look, well, lonely. She sees a little girl around 9 with dark hair in two braids, she’s pretty tiny, short and very thin, maybe she’s not been eating well wherever she’s from. That lonely lost girl look on her face that’s all too familiar.

“Hey there, what’s your name?” Emma says as she approaches the little girl.

She looks up at Emma, not sure whether to trust her, “hi,”

Smart girl, not giving away too much information to someone you don’t know. Emma did this a lot when she was caught shoplifting as a teen. She sits down beside her. She could do this, she could help a lost girl,

“You know I was a lost girl once too.” Emma says staring ahead instead of saying it to her face.

The little girl looks up at her. “I’ve not seen you here before.”

Observant. Another trait of a lost girl, always looking at the details. “You’re right. I’m Emma. I was a lost girl once, and now I’m here to help.”

The little girl studies Emma for a few moments before saying. “I’m Elena.”

“It’s nice to meet you Elena.” Emma smiles at her.

____

If there’s one thing Killian had to bet on seeing tonight, it would not have been Emma with the Lost Ones. He walked into the clearing a little later than usual, and saw Henry talking with the same kids he had been talking to for a while, but saw blonde hair in the corner of his eyes.

No. It couldn’t be.

He looked over and saw Emma Swan talking to one of the lost girls. It really was her. This must be one of Henry’s ploys. Emma notices him and gives him a smile and a wave before returning to her conversation with a lost girl.

This woman doesn’t give up. She was a bloody marvel.

He watched her with the lost girl. He didn’t know the girl's name, she was pretty quiet and even Henry had trouble getting through to her.

So he sits on the log by the tree like he does every night and welcomes old and new lost ones.

“Welcome to Neverland. Morpheus has decided you’re a lost one, and has graced you with the chance to visit this place in your dream state. So enjoy Neverland. We have magic, you can fly, you can wish for anything to eat, go crazy,”

Killian says this speech to new lost ones almost every night and it gets tiring, especially now he knows he’s been saying it for 25 years. The first few years he was happy and upbeat, but now he said it in much more of a monotonous voice.

He keeps stealing glances at Emma throughout the night. And he was pretty sure she was doing that same. The lass she was with was looking more and more animated as the night progressed. She had a knack for this, that much was clear.

He wanted to go back with her. More than anything, but did he deserve to? And why does she still want him? Why bother with him at all? She should just take Henry and leave. She had lived her life again the way she was meant to, as a daughter that never doubted her parents loved her. After all that, why would she go back to a pirate who was abandoned as a child and lost everyone he loved?

The end of the night draws in, and the lost ones leave Neverland one by one. The girl Emma was talking to ended up being the last to leave. He nods to Henry when the night is up, avoiding Emma’s ever present stare.

“Killian wait.” He hears Emma voice as he walks outside the clearing on his way back to his ship.

He turns around to face her, “Swan. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Emma rolls her eyes at him. “Don’t play dumb with me okay. I showed up here tonight to prove I’m not going anywhere without you.”

Killian just scoffs. “I already told you Swan, forget about me. Take your boy and leave.”

“I don’t want that okay? Are you not listening? I don’t want that.” Emma practically screams at him.

“And what do you not understand about the fact that you’re better off without me?” Killian shouts back.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Emma asks her blood practically boiling. Why would he say that?

He studied her for a moment, noticing the veins popping out of her forehead now she’s angry. “You don’t want me. You grew up with your perfect princess life, with a family and town full of people that love you. You never doubted that your parents loved you. You probably have a long line of princes and noblemen that want your heart. You don’t want a broken lost pirate. For 25 years I have been in this god awful place waiting for a woman who had forgotten me and I had no idea if you would even be here after 25 years.”

Emma scoffs, “yeah you’re right. I never doubted my parents' love for me, and I dated a few guys and I really liked them while we were together. And you’re right there are probably a lot more guys that want to be with me, I am a princess like you say. But guess what? We are not in the Enchanted Forest, I’m no princess, I’m free to choose my own life and my own boyfriends. And you know what else? None of them are you, Killian. It’s you I want. Even when I was cursed, I never forgot about you, I always used to see you in my dreams, I didn’t know who you were but. But I didn’t forget about you.”

“You dreamt about me?” Killain asks, not quite sure what to make of this revelation.

Emma nods. “It started when I was a teenager, maybe 16, 17. I kept seeing dark hair, blue eyes, your blue eyes, I didn’t know who you were but I knew you were important, a soulmate dream or something. Then as I got older, I started seeing visions, memories of our time together, like how I kissed you here in Neverland, and then saying goodbye to you in the Underworld.” Tears begin to roll from her eyes as she remembers that horrific goodbye. “Have you just forgotten everything we went through, the Underworld and everything, surely you don’t think I don’t love you anymore?”

“You still love me? Your feelings really haven’t changed?” Killain asks, still in disbelief that she could still love him.

“Of course I still love you!” Emma says with tears in her eyes. She takes the chain from under her shirt showing him the ring he gave her all those years ago. “I still have your brother's ring you gave me back in Camelot. I put it back on the moment I woke up. Because I love you Killian. And I’m not scared to say the words anymore! Killain Jones I love you so much. I don’t care what has happened, you still loved me when I went dark, so whatever this place has done to you, I don’t care. You’re still the same man I fell in love with. What’s stopping you from coming home?”

Emma steps forward and takes his hook and hand in hers. Killian backs away shaking his head. “I can’t do this, I’m sorry. Emma, my heart has been broken many times over my life. When my father abandoned Liam and I, Liam looked after me, he did everything, he was always there. And then all of a sudden he was gone, and I was never going to see him again, my big brother, gone just like that. It broke me, I didn’t know how I was going to go on, but something inside me was telling me to keep going. And a few years later I met Milah, and all at once she was patching the hole Liam had left. Years pass by and I feel almost whole again, and then the crocodile had killed her, and again my heart was broken. 300 years pass of feeling like this and I meet you.”

He takes a deep breath before continuing, composing himself. “You were so unlike any woman I’d met, my usual tricks didn’t work, you were feisty and independent, and so strong. You pushed me away but something inside me told me to keep pushing.” Emma can’t help but smile at this, it was true, she pushed him away for so long but after a short while, she didn’t want to push him away anymore.

“And eventually you felt as I did. You had fixed my broken heart piece by piece, and I let myself envision a future for the first time. And then you were cursed. We spent day and night researching, finding a way to bring you back, but when I was told there was no use, that I would have to watch you grow up and not know who I was, not know that you loved me, all the pieces you filled had shattered once more.”

“You’re saying I broke your heart because of my curse?” Emma asks.

“Aye.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Emma tells him.

“You’re glad to hear my heart was broken?” He asks, having a feeling what she was going to say next.

“If it can be broken,” she says, taking a step closer, she can feel his heartbeat, she can hear his breath hitch. “It means it still works.”

And they’re both suddenly transported back to Storybrooke after the missing year when he said those exact words as Killian tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “You know I’ve heard that before.” Emma pushed him away all those years ago because she was so afraid of letting him in, but there was nothing to be afraid of.

Emma's eyes light up as she smiles at his words, “oh yeah?”

And then Killian puts his arms around her waist and pulls her in close to him and captures her lips. It’s perfect. It’s needed, it’s the first kiss they’ve shared in 25 years and it feels so good. Killian moans into the kiss, he feels stupid for thinking she wouldn’t love him, Neverland plays on your strongest emotions, but kissing her here, in Neverland, the place she first kissed him which made him realise he was falling for her, was incredible.

He breaks the kiss for a moment just to say, “I love you so much.”

And Emma wraps his legs around his waist as he moves them so she's backed up against the nearest tree. He kisses her lips, and then moves onto her neck, placing hot wet kisses all down the side of her neck leaving Emma breathless as she roams her hands in his hair remembering what he felt like after 25 long years.

“Stop. Stop.” Emma says breathlessly as she pulls away from the kiss.

“Swan if you dare say that was a one time thing I will take you down to the Underworld myself.” Killian says causing Emma to practically snort.

“No, no it’s not that!” She says through her laugh, “My family will be expecting me back. Believe me, I want to continue this more than anything, but they want me to report on what I saw and what our plan is.”

“You really think we can get off this Island?” He asks.

“We? You’re coming with us?” Emma asks grinning from ear to ear.

Killian nods. “Aye love, I’m sorry I was a fool, it’s going to take some time to be the man you fell in love with again, but I’m-“

Emma cuts him off with a final kiss, “hey, stop. You’re still the man I fell in love with all those years ago. I get that this place is hard and your heart is still broken, but come home and we can fix it together.”

“I'll tell Henry and we can all meet at his treehouse later on to discuss our plan.” He says giving her a quick kiss before heading back in the direction of his ship.

____

Emma feels relieved, Killian was coming home. They were in this together. She couldn’t stop smiling as she walked back to where her family was.

This night was incredible. Elena, the lost girl she was talking to trusted her enough to talk, and she hoped she had made a difference. Her mothee was a princess, but she felt lost most of the time, she was always working and her father was sick. She was an only child and wasn’t allowed out of the palace much. Her baby brother was also the apple of her parents eyes, he was only a toddler but he seemed to get a lot more attention. Emma understood this, when she got back from New York and her mother was pregnant, sometimes she felt they were looking at her to break the curse, rather than spend time with their daughter. And with her new life, as a child she did feel like her parents spent a lot more time with Neal than her, but as she grew up she realised this wasn’t the case. She could already see that a couple more days talking to her and she wouldn’t find herself in Neverland again.

She hears scuffling behind her.

“Killian? Henry?” She calls out to the noise.

Instead appears a beautiful woman with dark skin, a purple dress and iridescent purple wings to match. A fairy.

“Cecelia?” Emma assumes, fearing the worst.

The fairy smiles. “Ah, so you know of me. Well, I presume you’re Emma. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Look, I don’t want any trouble, I just want to get my son and boyfriend and leave this Island. I won’t come back.” Emma says backing away from the fairy slowly, she knew this fairy was nothing like the Blue Fairy back in Storybrooke, and also nothing like Tinkerbell who was on their side. No, this fairy was the enemy.

Cecelia’s wings flutter as she levitates in the air. “Well see that’s the problem. The two people you want to recuse I need here on this Island, so I’m sorry you are going to have to leave my home without them.”

“And if I don’t?” Emma asks, standing her ground, she needed to show she wasn’t afraid.

The fairy did not like this. She flutters towards Emma and says in a sweet tone, “Then I will kill you and your precious family.” and then turns small and flies away

[imaginationintowords]

Lost on You

Chapter 10

Peter Parker x Sister!Reader Steve Rogers x Reader Avenger x Reader; Hybrid Social Media AU

Series Masterlist

"Can we please talk?" Steve pleaded.

"Steve-"

"Please Y/n,"he begged, his voice cracking, "Five minutes and I'll be out of your hair, for good. I promise."

"Okay," I agree.

As he closes the door, I take a look at his appearance. He doesn't look so good, I mean physically he looks the same, because of the serum. But if you really knew Steve, like the way I do, you can tell he isn't. His eyes immediately give him a way, dark circles surrounding them. They don't look as bright as they used to.

I can't help but feel bad for him, it's a normal human reaction. Even though he hurt me, that doesn't mean all the love we had went away. It's still there, maybe it'll always be there, but whether or not I want to continue that love, I just don't know if I can.

Steve stays by the door, trying to give me some space.

"I know I've apologized countless of times, but I still just need to say how utterly sorry I am. I don't think I'll ever not be sorry for what I have done. I hurt you, when I have promised you countless of times that I would never. You expressed your fears of relationships, having been hurt in the past and I had promised I would never do that. Yet here I am, no better than them, because not only did I do it, I broke that promise and your trust. If I have to spend my whole life making it up to you, I will," he starts off.

"That won't be necessary," I interject, I give him a wave continue.

"I love you, Y/n. And what happened that night, should have never happened. I can't even give you a real answer as to why it happened, other than the fact that we weren't thinking.

No, let me rephrase that, I wasn't thinking. I don't know what came over me, because why would I do that? Not when I have you. Not when our relationship was at it's all time best. Why would I throw all of that away for cheap mindless sex," he pauses, noticing my wince at that.

I nod for him to continue.

"I've kept myself up the last two weeks questioning why did I do it. And I don't have an answer. I just don't. And that's not good enough. It isn't. Because if the shoe was on the other foot, which I know it never would have been, I wouldn't accept that answer as well. And you don't have to, accept it. Because it's cowardly," he clears the lump in his throat, trying to hold back.

"I so badly wish I can go back to two weeks and never do that again, but I can't and now we have to deal with the consequences of it all, and that's all on me," he breaks.

"I love you so much. And I fucking ruined that. I was going to ask you to marry me and I fucked that up," he cries out, falling to the floor, his hands on his face as he cries.

"Steve," I rush over to his side, rubbing his back soothingly.

"I know that doesn't change anything, because I still cheated," he says looking over at me, his eyes red.

"It doesn't," I confirm, feeling myself begin to cry.

This is it.

We both know that.

That this moment right now, is our last.

We stay there, looking at each other as we cry. Steve reaches for me and brings me into his arms, and we just hold each other as we cry.

"I am so sorry," he cries into my hair, his grip tight, afraid to let go.

"I know," I cry into his chest, "I know you are."

After god knows how long, we slowly pull our faces away, still holding on to one another, just to get a look at our faces. The crying is now just silent tears rolling down our faces.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I know," my throat hurts, "I love you too."

I did the only thing I could think of, I let my heart take control, and I slowly leaned up to meet his lips. You can feel the desperation and heartache behind the kiss. The kiss got a little more heated, both of us so desperate, knowing that we will never be this way with each other again.

Next thing I knew, we were both naked in my bed, Steve hovering over me.

"Are you sure?" he asks, making sure I was okay with it.

"Yes," I whisper, trying to take in every feature on his face.

The way he looks while we make love for the last time.

There's something incredibly sad about making love for the last time, knowing that it will be the last time. Most couples don't have that pleasure of knowing the last time they made love was their last, so they don't get to treasure it. Always hoping that they could've had one more night together, just to know that there was love there.

Here in this moment, there is love. I don't doubt that Steve didn't love me, I know it. The look in his eyes in this very moment say everything I needed to know about our relationship, and I hope mine do as well.

The sadness, the love, the regret, it's all there.

We try our best not to cry, but we can't help it. It's sad.

It's sad knowing that this great love is over. And not knowing if you'll ever find one like it again. Or even not knowing if you'll ever love again.

After we're done, we lay there, not in each other's arms. We remain quiet, seeing which one will be the first to say the final goodbye.

"Steve," I whisper so quietly, that if not for his super soldier hearing I don't think he would've been able to hear.

He looks over at me, tears rolling down his face. He nods his head, knowing what I'm thinking.

He slowly gets out of my bed and makes his way around the room getting his clothes on.

I don't dare look. I can't. If I do, I don't think I'll be able to let him leave.

"Thank-you for everything," he quietly says once dressed, opening the door, "Goodnight Y/n."

He quietly closes the door behind him as he leaves.

I close my eyes and let the tears fall, hoping the exhaustion of the day will consume me into a heavy sleep soon.

The next morning I'm woken up by FRIDAY letting me know that the team meeting starts in an hour. I thank her, my voice hoarse, don't know if it's because I just woke up or the aftermath of last night.

I quietly get dressed, and look around my room.

It's quiet. Peace.

It's lonely. I kinda like that.

It no longer feels like home.

I don't think I can stay here much longer.

Now that Steve and I are officially done, I think it's time I find some independence.

If the last two weeks have taught me anything is that, I need a little more independence.

I need a life outside of the Avengers.

A life where I don't work and live in the same building. Where I can escape.

Play music as loud as I want. Eat whatever the hell I want, and not worry if someone else has eaten it already.

Don't get me wrong I loved living here, I really did. I never had that college experience, we couldn't afford tuition and dorm living. Living here has let me experience the roommate life. But things are starting to get crowded. Everyone knows everything. You never have a chance to just breathe.

That's what I want, just a moment to breathe, without Sam and Bucky fighting over the tv remote. Without Tony dropping in in the middle of the night because he needs you in the lab ASAP, because he had a revelation in his sleep. I love Wanda, but sometimes you just need a break from even your best of friends. And now that Steve and I are officially over, how is dating going to be like for either of us. Not that that's going to happen anytime soon, but it's eventually going to happen, and I really don't want to see that with him, and him with I. It's just too complicated.

I have never been alone before. I've always had someone right there.

I think, no I know, it's time I be on my own. Doesn't mean I won't be an Avenger or work for Tony, it just means that I won't be living here with them.

And for the first time in the last two weeks, I feel content.

Free.

Like I can finally breathe.

That's how I know this is the right decision for me.

Summary: Y/N Parker is Peter’s older sister. She is ten years older than Peter, making her 26 years-old. She is also an Avenger, her powers are very similar to Wanda’s; telekinesis, mind reading, teleportation, and elemental bending. She has been an Avenger far longer than Peter, and like Peter her identity is kept a secret. As well as being an Avenger she works in the lab alongside Tony, she is a science genius. She has also been dating Steve Rogers for the past 3 years. Their relationship is as great as it can possibly be, that is until Steve does something that has Y/n questioning not only their entire relationship, but her place in the Avengers. It opens her eyes to how much of her life has revolved around Steve and work. Never really experiencing life like everyone else her age has.

Series tag list: @chaoticpete @eliza5616 @supraveng @faithtrustandrobbiekay @inquisitor-selvala @dumbbitch11 @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @jessyballet @reann-loves-sebstan @thelostallycat @castalette @lovely-geek @malfoyy123 @zombieninjadinostayssilent @welovecaptainamericaass @dontbetooobvious @stop-drop-and-drumroll @cvelarded @ophelias-heart​ @csigeoblue​

Permanent tag list[let me know if you want to be taken off]: @rosegolddivinity @definitelynotafangirl @1awesomeash @princess-evans-addict @geeksareunique @24kbratz @introvertatitsfinest @imagine-all-the-imagines @whatthefuckimbisexual @also-fangirlinsweden @the-queen-of-the-nerds

[rm-2002]

for something I wrote when I was just a brat It's pretty good. Please check it out!!

Who fears the dark? 

I personally do. But I sure as hell know that as much as there is people who stand tall and brave in its invisible face, many others would rather die than ever face it in their lives.

Today, I am gonna shine some light on what I used to call 'Darkness Phobia' which I later discovered was actually named Nyctophobia.

Before starting, I should make it clear that I am in no way a professional in these topics, I am simply going to share with the world my experience with the Nyctophobia.

A newborn baby has two fears. Loud noises and falling. But as the baby grows up, he will start fearing new things, but he won't fear a snake for example the moment he is born and that's my point!

We start getting afraid when we learn of the possible danger. So what about the dark? There are many cases where it isn't dangerous in the slightest, yet we get afraid. Petrified. Scared. Frightened. Terrified!! I am not talking about dark alleys or haunted houses, I am talking about your room or home, possibly your classroom. Anywhere you are a 100% sure has no real potential danger.

For me personally, my paranoia came from stories I was constantly told about robbers, kidnappers, or even people who sell children. Maybe slice them and sell their organs to crazy doctors or drug dealers or something! I was a kid back then, so it took a real toll on me. I would always make sure the doors are locked , I would never open a door for a stranger, I would never randomly talk to a stranger rather run away the moment he approaches me. And I would never sleep unless the lights of the room next to mine were on.

Yeah, I was completely petrified by those stories. Can you believe my relatives used to scare me this much when I was 7-10 years old (that is just how long it lasted)

I  remember this one time  when I was looking for my aunt's son. He was 13 or something at the time. Anyway, I saw someone at the garage . and the garage was connected to the back of the house, he looked a little bigger for his actual age but I ignored it. So I started calling him thinking it was my young relative. Just so you know, it was dark so I couldn't see his face, but I thought 'who could it be other than him' (I was 8 at the time),but he started running towards the back of the house and I, like an idiot, ran after him while calling for him.

I was so close to grabbing his shirt until I NOTICED how grown-up he actually was which made come to a halt  while thinking with fear 'If that's not him then who is he?'. And to make it even creepier, he jumped over the wall that leads to the backyard of another building leaving me freezing there staring into nothing. Funny thing is, when I went back inside the house I didn't tell anybody thinking it wasn't really necessary , for my mind was occupied with trying to figure out who that man was. In the end, I found my young relative and started shouting at him "Where were you? why were you running away from me?"

He was very confused, but he shrugged it off.  I was 8 after all.

Some of you might think this story is unrelated to the paranoia, but it actually increased my fears of the darkness  (and kidnappers) so after that, there came a time when I stopped hearing those stories. So the light was becoming kinda annoying when I wanna sleep, so I turned off the light of a room that was next to the room that was next to mine. But after some time (FEW DAYS I MEAN), it was still disturbing me, so I turned off the light of the room that exactly next to mine and I was left with so little light. It didn't bother me if you are wondering. (I was 11 at the time). Still, after a few days, was bothered by the little light, so I turned off the light of all the house, but my family didn't let me saying that just because I wanted to sleep, doesn't mean they'll have to live the night in darkness.

I closed my door halfway. After a few days and gradually, I closed it full.

Yet. The little light that came from under the door bothered me so I...put a towel to cover the light.

GO ahead! Laugh at me! I don't care! I am laughing at myself after all!

However, I made the mistake of watching a horror movie with my classmates which sent me running to the wall! Shivering from head to toe.

WOW that rhymes!

Anyway, the movie was Evil Dead 2 and my NYCTOPHOBIA came back to me worse than ever.

I would get absolutely terrified just by looking at a far dark corner.

So I CAME to the conclusion that we get scared when something fills our imagination. BUT,that is quite impossible for an otaku like me who looves creepypasta and yandere horror stories.

P.S.

I was playing a horror game named mental hospital before writing this. And this laptop that I am eriting on belongs to that same aunt's son that I was talking about.

See ya