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dankusner · 5 months

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TRUMP HUSH MONEY TRIAL

texas attorney general opinion or2018-19705

Jurors have variety of backgrounds, news habits

18 chosen say former president’s history will not influence decisions

A full jury of 12 jurors and six alternates has been seated in the historic hush money trial of former president Donald Trump after four days of jury selection in the Manhattan-based court case.

Trump faces 34 counts of falsifying business records, part of what prosecutors have described as a scheme during the 2016 presidential campaign to cover up an alleged affair with adult-film actress Stormy Daniels.

Trump has pleaded not guilty.

Here is what is known about the jurors, according to The Washington Post ’s reporting and pool reports:

Juror 1 This juror gets his news from The New York Times , the Daily Mail , as well as “some” Fox News and MSNBC. “I’ve heard some of them,” the juror, who works in sales, said about Trump’s other cases.

Juror 2 This juror said he follows former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen on social media platform X. Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer and confidant, arranged the hush money payment to Daniels in 2016 and is expected to be a key witness in the case. He said he also follows former Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway on X, as well as other figures on the right and left. The juror, an investment banker, said he did so because of his work in finance. “Anything that might move the markets, I might need to know about,” he said. During questioning by Trump’s defense team, he said Trump had done some good for the country. “It’s ambivalent. It goes both ways,” he said.

Juror 3 This juror said he doesn’t need to be a mind reader to determine intent. “I am actually not super familiar with the other charges. I don’t really follow the news that closely — a little embarrassing to say,” he said. He works as a corporate lawyer. He reads The New York Times and Wall Street Journal. In middle school, he enjoyed watching The Apprentice .

Juror 4 Asked by the prosecution if he had any concerns about returning a guilty verdict, this juror said, “No.” He is not on social media and gets his news from a range of news outlets, he said. He is an engineer. He served on a criminal jury in California a long time ago but said he couldn’t recall if there was a verdict.

Juror 5 This juror said that, as a “woman of color,” she has friends with strong opinions about Trump but that she tries to avoid politics and is not very interested in the news. While most of the jurors in the box indicated they were aware Trump faced other criminal cases, this woman signaled she did not. She said she likes Trump’s candid style. “President Trump speaks his mind,” she said. “I’d rather have that than someone in office that we don’t know what he’s doing behind the scenes.” This juror works in education. She gets her information from Google and TikTok, and she listens to The Breakfast Club , a radio show in New York City.

Juror 6 During questioning, this juror said she could treat Trump like any other person on trial. “I would say that I think that Trump and I probably have different beliefs,” she said, “but I don’t think that that invalidates anything about who he is as a person.” This juror works as a software engineer, and she gets her news from The New York Times and TikTok.

Juror 7 This juror said he has “political views as to the Trump presidency” and thinks there were probably Trump administration policies he disagreed with. “I don’t know the man, and I don’t have opinions about him personally,” he added. The juror also said he does not have any opinions about Trump’s character. “I certainly follow the news. I’m aware there are other lawsuits out there,” he said. “But I’m not sure that I know anyone’s character.” This juror works as a civil litigator. He gets his news from The New York Times , Wall Street Journal , New York Post and The Washington Post . He also listens to NPR’s Car Talk , WNYC public radio and the SmartLess podcast.

Juror 8 This juror paused before answering “yes” when asked if he had feelings about Trump that could prevent him from being impartial. Justice Juan Merchan stopped him, asked him to be clear, then repeated the question. “No,” the juror responded. He said he gets his news from The New York Times , Wall Street Journal , CNBC and the BBC. He is retired from a wealth management firm. He said he once served on a jury but the case settled before trial began.

Juror 9 This juror said she had opinions about Trump but insisted she could be impartial. “I fully believe that I can follow the judge’s instructions,” she said. She added that she appreciated an analogy offered by prosecutors during questioning because, she said, “I’m not very well-versed in the legal world.” She said she gets morning newsletters from The New York Times and CNN and listens to podcasts about reality television. “I don’t watch any news or follow it too closely,” she said. She said she works as a speech therapist.

Juror 10 This juror said he prefers podcasts about behavioral psychology to following the news. When it comes to his media consumption, he said, “If anything, it’s The New York Times .” He works in e-commerce.

Juror 11 During questions from the defense team, this juror was blunt about how she views Trump. “I don’t have strong opinions, but I don’t like his persona, how he presents himself in public,” she said. “I don’t like some of my co-workers, but I don’t try to sabotage their work,” she continued, drawing laughs in the courtroom. Merchan asked her to repeat herself for the record, which she did. “He seems very selfish and self-serving,” she continued. “I don’t really appreciate that from any public servant.” The way he portrays himself publicly, she said, “it’s not my cup of tea.” Trump defense lawyer Susan Necheles said, “It sounds a bit like what you’re saying is you don’t like him.” “Yes,” the juror responded. The juror works in product development. She follows fashion publications and watches late-night television but doesn’t follow the news closely, she said.

Juror 12 This juror said she reads The New York Times and USA Today, and watches CNN. She also listens to sports and faith-based podcasts. She works as a physical therapist.

Alternate 1 This juror, the first alternate to be seated, gets her news from the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times . She works in finance.

Alternate 2 Necheles, Trump’s defense lawyer, asked this alternate juror about witnesses changing their stories. “I will base my verdict on the proofs presented,” the juror said. “I won’t take into consideration whatever happened in the past.” She added that she “will be objective and neutral for this case or any case the justice system needs me to do.” The juror is not currently employed. She said she doesn’t watch the news, only skims through headlines, and isn’t on social media.

Alternate 3 This alternate juror told the court he doesn’t have a strong opinion of Trump. “My opinion is Donald Trump is a man, just like I am,” he said. He said he agreed with the legal burden of proof of establishing guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. “If there is evidence found against a man,” he said, “there should be consequences.” He said he thought that Trump had been treated fairly in the case. He said he reads The New York Times and The Washington Post , and works in IT.

Alternate 4 Like several others on the jury, this alternate juror said she doesn’t have strong opinions about Trump. She told the court she was “not a big news person” but reads The New York Times , Reuters, the BBC and social media. She works in the financial sector.

Alternate 5 This alternate juror said she gets news from The New York Times and Google. She works in fashion.

Alternate 6 This alternate juror said she follows local news and listens to true crime podcasts. She works in construction.

Juror details:

Media play into Trump’s hands

A number of media outlets covering Donald Trump’s Manhattan criminal trial are playing right into the former president’s manipulative little hands, effectively assisting him with juror intimidation.

In real-time, specific details about prospective jurors are being blasted out on social media and on news networks – neighborhood names, marital status, job titles, things they like to do in their free time.

The result, as of Thursday morning, is one seated juror saying she couldn’t proceed out of fear her identity had been compromised.

Journalists have no business reporting jurors’ personal details

On Tuesday, Fox News lunkhead Jesse Watters was spitting out details on jurors who had been seated.

Speaking of juror No. 2, he said she gets her news from CNN and the New York Times and added: 'This nurse scares me if I’m Trump. Goodbye.'

That same juror told the court Thursday morning: 'Aspects of my identity have already been out there in public.

Yesterday alone, I had friends and family push things to me.

I don’t think at this point that I can be fair and unbiased.'

She was excused.

The judge scolded the press in attendance, and he was right to do so, as it’s not just Fox News working overtime to identify members of what is supposed to be an anonymous jury.

What’s the news value in small details about prospective jurors?

Politico published specific information about a prospective juror, including her neighborhood, job, hobby and the role she plays in a community organization.

On its website, ABC News had a story titled: 'Who are the first 7 jurors of Trump’s historic criminal trial.'

NBC News had an online story under the headline: 'A lawyer, a teacher and a software engineer: Meet the first jury members of Trump’s hush money trial.'

The public doesn’t pick the jurors, so there’s no public need to know

This level of reporting on what we journalists like to call 'civilians' is outrageous given the circumstances surrounding this trial.

There’s no inherent news value in knowing the hobbies or marital status of someone who might serve on the jury.

Each juror is vetted and decided on by defense attorneys and prosecutors – the public has no voice here.

It’s up to Trump’s lawyers and the Manhattan district attorney’s prosecutors to make sure the best people are chosen to consider the case and render a verdict.

Sharing minute personal details of people who are being asked nothing more than to perform their civic duty is low-brow, at best.

And attempting to ferret out the true identity of these people in hopes of spotting something to write or talk about is both dangerous and counterproductive to the administration of justice.

Threats and Donald Trump go hand-in-hand

Anyone paying attention knows threats and intimidation go hand-in-hand with Trump and his MAGA movement, and few know that better than journalists, who were long ago labeled 'the enemy of the people' by Trump himself.

So I’ll ask my fellow journalists out there:

What the hell do you think is going to happen to these people if you make it easy for others to identify them?

They will be targeted.

They will be threatened.

And what’s the news value in any of that?

The news here is that a former president and the all-but-certain GOP presidential nominee is on trial and he and his followers are so prone to dirty tricks and violent rhetoric that the jury requires anonymity.

Media outlets can’t become Trump’s unwitting accomplices

This feels like a trial for a mob boss, not a politician.

And the last thing the trial needs is thirsty-for-clicks media outlets tripping over each other to see who can be first to report on a potential juror’s favorite diner.

The people called for jury duty in this case are under enormous pressure, given the nature of the defendant.

They should be treated with respect and given the anonymity they need to honestly and effectively do their jobs.

Trump and his assorted minions will do all they can to jam up the mechanics of these proceedings.

We know this.

So we certainly don’t need minor-scoop-hungry journalists abandoning basic news judgment and putting good people in danger while acting as the defendant’s unwitting accomplices.

Who’s Afraid of Judging Donald Trump?

Lots of People

On Monday afternoon, ninety-six New Yorkers were ushered through metal detectors and into a courtroom on the fifteenth floor of the criminal courthouse in lower Manhattan.

They had been selected as prospective jurors in the People of the State of New York v. Donald J. Trump—the first-ever criminal trial of an American President.

As court officers led them into the gallery, several craned their necks to get a look at the defendant.

There he was: his face exactly as orange and mottled as it looks on TV, a long red tie draped over his paunch.

He stared right back at them, and leaned over to whisper something in the ear of one of his attorneys.

One prospective juror broke out in giggles, and put a hand over her mouth.

A clerk had everyone stand and swear to tell the truth during the jury-selection process.

“A fair juror is a person who will keep the promise to be fair and impartial,” Judge Juan Merchan said. “Please raise your hand if you believe you cannot be fair and impartial.”

More than half the hands in the room went up.

Merchan excused these unfair and partial people one by one.

“I just couldn’t do it,” one dismissed potential juror was heard saying out in the hall.

Who could?

It takes a special kind of person to be completely impartial when it comes to Donald Trump.

The judge and the lawyers on both sides of the case needed to find twelve such people for the jury, and also half a dozen more who could serve as alternates.

The thirty or so candidates who’d remained in the courtroom were asked to read through a long questionnaire—forty-two questions, along with numerous sub-questions.

The first prospective juror was a young woman who said she lived in midtown and worked in business development.

She felt that she could be fair and impartial, but she also had vacation plans that coincided with the trial.

She was excused.

The second prospective juror was a middle-aged white man with thick-framed glasses, who said he was a creative director at a clothing company.

“I’m here to judge the facts that are presented and not the individual,” he told the court.

He said he had never read any of Trump’s books and did not consider himself a supporter of the QAnon movement, the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, the Three Percenters, the Boogaloo Boys, or Antifa.

In his spare time, he said, he enjoyed hiking and cooking, and playing with his dog.

Was there any reason at all that he could not be a fair and impartial juror?

No, he said.

And yet the dog-loving creative director was too good to be true.

Trump’s team discovered a spicy Facebook post that he made in 2017.

“Good news!! Trump lost his court battle on his unlawful travel ban!!!” he wrote. “Get him out and lock him up.”

Under questioning from Trump’s lawyer Todd Blanche, the man acknowledged that the Facebook account was indeed

his. “I had strong feelings at the time,” he told the judge. “Today, like I said, I could be unbiased and open about what we are talking about today. But, you know, that was a place and time.”

Merchan wasn’t having it; he granted the defense’s request to have the potential juror axed.

“If I cannot credit a juror’s responses, then we cannot have him on the jury,” Merchan said. “This is a person who has expressed, at least at one time—it was several years ago—the desire that Donald Trump be locked up,” Merchan said. “Everyone knows that, if Mr. Trump is found guilty in this case, he faces a potential jail sentence, which would be lockup.”

By Thursday morning, only seven jurors had made it through the questionnaire, in addition to several rounds of follow-up questions from the prosecutors and Trump’s attorneys, and had been sworn in as members of the official jury.

They tended to be the people who had given the most inscrutable answers.

The foreman is an immigrant, a native of Ireland who now lives in upper Manhattan, and who said he gets his news from the Times, Fox News, and MSNBC.

Another juror, a young Black woman, seemed well aware of Trump’s baggage.

“Obviously, I’m a person of color, so I’m around people who did have an opinion during the election,” she said.

Yet she expressed a certain admiration for the defendant.

“President Trump speaks his mind,” she said. “I would rather that in a person than someone who’s in office and you don’t know what they’re doing behind the scenes.”

What was Trump doing during all this?

Brooding, mostly.

At several points, reporters noticed that he seemed to have dozed off, his eyes closed and his eyebrows slack, his chin occasionally drifting down toward his chest.

At other times, he spoke animatedly with Blanche, slapping his lawyer’s arm with the back of his hand.

Coming in and out of the courtroom during recesses, he sometimes stopped to talk with the reporters waiting in the courtroom hallway.

“Every legal pundit, every legal scholar, said this trial is a disgrace,” he said, on Tuesday morning, lying. “This is a trial that should never happen. It should have been thrown out a long time ago.”

At the defense table, he often slumped, perking up only when a potential juror said something he particularly approved or disapproved of.

He smiled and nodded, enthused, when the director of sales and revenue at a software company claimed to have read several of his old books, including “The Art of the Deal” and “How to Get Rich.”

When Blanche questioned a prospective juror who had filmed videos of Upper West Siders celebrating the 2020 election results, Trump muttered something under his breath and gestured aggressively.

“I won’t tolerate that,” Merchan snapped. “I will not have any jurors intimidated in this courtroom.”

And yet many of the would-be jurors have been intimidated, if not by Trump, then by the prospect of serving on a jury in such a high-profile case.

The stakes felt higher than ever on Friday afternoon, when, just before the court broke for lunch, a man doused himself in accelerant and set himself on fire, in a small park across from the courthouse.

(The man, who is reportedly in critical condition, threw pamphlets into the air before lighting the fire; the N.Y.P.D. has described the flyers as conspiracy-oriented.)

Even before this, the judge announced that one of the seven people who’d made it onto the official jury had called in to say that she was having second thoughts.

She’d heard from friends, family, and colleagues who told her that she was being talked about, online and on TV.

On Tuesday night, Fox News’s Jesse Watters did a segment on his prime-time show where he went through the chosen jurors one by one, and put graphics listing their occupations, racial backgrounds, and reading habits.

Everything but their names.

“The fate of a billionaire real-estate tycoon, TV celebrity turned forty-fifth President of the United States, is in the hands of New York City lawyers, teachers, and Disney workers who like to dance and get their news from the Times,” Watters said, smirking.

Merchan understood the juror’s concerns and allowed her to withdraw from the jury.

Anonymous juries are anonymous for good reason, he said: “It kind of defeats the purpose of that when so much information is put out there that it is very, very easy for anyone to identify who the jurors are.”

He admonished the reporters in the courthouse and said he was “directing” them to refrain from identifying potential jurors’ employers, or describing “anything that you observe with your eyes and hear with your ears related to the jurors,” such as their accents.

First Amendment lawyers told the New York Law Journal that Merchan’s prohibitions were “dubious” at best.

A judge can’t really keep journalists from reporting on what is said in an open court.

But, online, many journalists seemed to side with Merchan, and spoke up out of concern for the safety of the jury pool.

“What of editorial standards? we don’t report everything all the time,” one former BuzzFeed reporter wrote on X (formerly known as Twitter).

Having reporters choose what to censor in real time seems like a bad approach to a case that tests the very limits of judicial power and America’s constitutional order.

Merchan’s suggestion was that the reporters in the courtroom simply use “common sense.”

In the lead-up to the trial, many law professors and former prosecutors were of the opinion that an acquittal was a long shot for Trump.

“The allegations are, in substance, that Donald Trump falsified business records to conceal an agreement with others to unlawfully influence the 2016 Presidential election,” Merchan told the prospective jurors, on Monday. “Specifically, it is alleged that Donald Trump made or caused false business records to hide the true nature of payments made to Michael Cohen by characterizing them as payment for legal services rendered pursuant to a retainer agreement.”

The payment at the center of the case went to Stormy Daniels, an adult-film star who was prepared to go public with her past affair with Trump.

Trump has pleaded not guilty, but many legal observers believe a hung jury is the best outcome he can hope for.

He needs just one obstinate fan to make it into the final jury box.

On Tuesday afternoon, it seemed like he had almost found his guy, a young, fit man who looked to be in his thirties, with slicked-back hair.

But, before he even got to the questionnaire, the man requested to be excused.

“Your Honor, as much as I would love to serve for New York and one of our great Presidents, I could not give up my job for six-plus weeks, which means I would be working eighty-plus hours a week,” he said.

The judge excused him.

youtube

President Trump’s fate is in the hands of 12 regular people. Who are they, and how will each of them impact the case? Dr. Phil uses 15 years of trial science expertise to break down how this trial won’t be tried in the courtroom, but in the jury room.

#Youtube

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husbandograveyard · 1 year

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Hi Hazel! I hope you feel better soon!

Leona, our beloved drenched cat (affectionate).

I've been meaning to invest in some leggings for ages so that I could wear dresses in the winter but I never got around to it haha. Maybe it's time.

That makes sense! If you don't mind sharing, I'd love to learn more about your OCs. I like the idea of OCs but I'm not creative enough to think about characteristics and personalities.

Sending you all my Twst gacha luck! May everyone come home within a few pulls.

I've been reading books lately! I'm trying to get back into the habit of reading but I don't have the attention span haha.

Wishing you a speedy recovery and reminder to drink lots of water! Sending you lots of love -berry anon

Hiya Berry! He truly is our (beloved) drenched cat, hehehe. 100% recommend the leggings, maybe this is a sign haha.

I am getting better, definitely. I was sick for the better part of a week, and I am still pretty tired, but I am feeling more human again every day.

What kind of books are you reading? I try reading a bunch of books every year, but I am gloriously failing this year, I haven't been able to participate in book club much either. I need to find a balance again... and it is hard to keep off of my phone. What's your favorite book? Any recommendations?

With fall finally feeling like fall, it's ideal reading weather. Burn some candles, have a nice mug of a hot beverage and a blanket over your lap, some atmospheric music in the background.. ugh maybe I should just get to it again as well... I have a huge stack of unread books and manga (did I tell you yet I got the twst manga too? Only the first volume was available yet, the rest is in pre-order for now, but it looks GORGEOUS the art is fantastic!)

As for twst, glorious masquerade is here, and I am anxiously waiting for the Idia card to drop. I have my 200 pulls ready so he is guaranteed, but I hope he doesn't make me go all the way. Fingers crossed.

As for my OC's. I will GLADLY share, but I am SO SORRY I cannot possibly keep this brief... so I added a cut, and please feel free to just.. ignore it if it's too much, I love my OC's loads and am always a little embarrassed to talk about them because I will gush and this is... so so so long. So... here goes, OC ramble under the cut. Even if you don't get through it, wishing you a wonderful reading time and beginning of fall! Hope to hear from you soon! <3

Disclaimer before diving into my OC's (also for other people reading this). All these OC's are female, I am aware NRC is an all boy's school and this makes no sense, but these are my OC's and my alterations to the storyline, and I just go for a mixed school (with more additions, but more on that later). Some of these are more developed than others, but I love them all dearly.

Okay so I have 6 twisted wonderland OC's aside from a Yuusona which is a blatant self-insert/Yuu for in the games. I'll share a visual (the visuals are all made with the Rinmaru fantasy generator + 2 pieces of my own mediocre art) and a little blurb on their Unique magic, personality, 'storyline' (and partner, as most of them are made 'for' a specific character) and other relevant things, if there is such a thing, cause not all of them have that much. There are some very clear and some less clear Disney references in most of them, especially the unique magics. At least I tried.

Dannah Caliiya (Pronounced: Day-nah Kalee-ya)

(with this, debut of my art, lmao)

Dannah is a Gazelle beastman, and a Savanaclaw student. She is happy-go-lucky, carefree, and very athletic. She is of average intelligence, but has massive trouble concentrating, a personification of the worst of my ADHD, if you will. She gets literal zoomies and brain zoomies, which make her a menace to have in class (especially Trein), but a delight to have in sports clubs. She is part of Savanaclaw's spelldrive team, and actually one of their star players. Her magic skills are mediocre, but her stamina is unrivalled, she can outrun nearly all other Savanaclaw members.

Her partner is -of course- Leona, and the idea came off of a romeo and juliet-esque 'forbidden' romance of what would traditionally be considered not-done, in the sense of an absolute commoner and royalty, but with a hidden layer of what could be considered a prey animal and a predator (even though beastmen don't necessarily live by those dynamics). She is, by all means, Leona's 'herbivore' (affectionate).

Her unique magic is Everything the light touches, a spell that makes a bright light appear in a location of her choice. The brightness depends on the power of the spell, and can either light a way (even through magical darkness) or temporarily blind other people.

She expresses affection towards friends, family and romantic partners by gently bonking her forehead into theirs. For Lions, rubbing ones face against someone else is generally a more intimate gesture, which will lead to some awkward misunderstandings in the beginning of the friendship between her and Leona.

Lexi Greydance

Lexi is another Savanaclaw student, and she is also a beastman. It's not very clear from the dress up generator, but she is a Crocodile beastman. She is not a very book-smart kinda gall. Practical magic is her forte, but no one ask her any theoretical stuff, she'll draw a blank and just guess (and guess wrongly 9/10). She's overall pretty charming but has no filter, which makes her come across as blunt or sometimes even rude to those that don't know her. She does mean well. She's pretty athletic, but doesn't necessary act on it. Loves sunbathing cause she's always cold. She is pretty but doesn't put much effort in it, hot mess couture, she has this permanent "just woke up look." Her unique magic is "your head is in the clouds" Clouds appear around a targets head, blinding, deafening and disorienting them for the duration of the spell. Works best on 1-3 human-sized targets, but more is possible, it just gets harder to keep the spell going/or the spell weakens. Training can better this eventually.

She gets paired with Jack, and her role is not necessary one of a student, but more of a house 'mother' by the lack of a better word. She is actually around the age of the students, and is there as an aid to the housewarden, whoever it may be. She divides chores for the students and makes sure they're done, helps organize school- and dorm activities, oversees clubs... She gets along with Leona well enough, and they have a bond of mutual respect. They leave each other alone most of the time.

Mei Meduzo

Meduzo means Jellyfish in esperanto and she is a Jellyfish-mermaid, based on a phantom jellyfish, also known as Stygiomedusa. So I thought the name was a nice mix of origins, translation and an alliteration.

As a mermaid, I think it's quite easy to guess she's part of Octavinelle, and she is also part of the fish mafia (Azul/Floyd/Jade). She is calm, collected and polite. She is very charming and intelligent, but errs on the lazier side for actually using her skills. She is a musician, able to sing and play violin. She works in the Mostro lounge, either behind the bar or playing background music. She also sometimes participates in their more shady business dealings; I'd like to call her Floyd's squeezing buddy. All her earnings go to luxury products, mostly makeup, accessories and clothes. She likes spoiling herself.

(since scientists still don't really know how the Stygiomedusa catches prey with their very drape-like tentacles (there are not many spotted yet), one of the theories is that prey basically gets smothered and suffocated in the drapetacles. So, I Imagine she can help Floyd with squeezing, although she is more elegant about it.)

I have no unique magic for her yet and I am not sure if I will ever get her any. Her partner is Jade. They both have the same brand of customer service smile and politeness, with some darkness lurking under the surface. They are deeply in love, but no one (except for those very close to them) knows about their relationship, just cause they are mostly reserved in public.

Leah Blackwell

A shorter one in between, as a little resting place for you, if you're still reading. We're past the halfway point hahah, I am so sorry. I just go ham when I can ramble about my OC's.

Leah is a concept more than an actual OC. She is a princess, but I don't know of where just yet, and she is at NRC to learn how to be *independent*. She was raised extremely sheltered though, always had servants do stuff for her.

She ends up in Scarabia and is best friends with Kalim, and in turn, a huge pain in the behind for Jamil, who now has to practically babysit TWO spoilt children that HONESTLY don't know any better. She tries out to help but will 10/10 accidentally set the kitchen on fire doing the dishes.

Aestrid Anktha

another one of my silly drawings Drawing context: Jamil has been up since 4am prepping and says that he is 'fine' and 'doesn't need any help'. Aestrid has a dark aesthetic but a soft personality. She loves reading and learning. If you need help acing exams, she's gonna be your key to succes. She will read an entire antology of magic for some light bedtime reading. She is always willing to help others out, maybe even a little bit of a pushover (make that definitely, she is definitely a huge pushover). She'll stay up late to tutor those who ask nicely. You do have to ask nicely. She will take over any and all chores or at least help. BUT if the chore is a punishment, she won't, purely out of principle. She follows school rules, values good grades, but also a proper balance of free time and chores.

Her unique magic is "Itty bitty living space" - shrinking someone to a tiny size, and sealing them in a magical bottle. They don't run out of oxygen nor do they get hungry or thirsty, it's confinement. Not death. Once the bottle is opened or destroyed the person gets back to their regular size.

She is in Scarabia, and she is Jamil's girlfriend. Their relationship is a slow-developing one, because she is extremely shy, and it's easier for her to hang out with Kalim than Jamil, even though she has a massive crush on the latter. And since Jamil is so guarded and rarely shows his true colors, it takes a while for them to get close. They bond over chores though, Aestrid always helping out Jamil when he's doing servant tasks on top of vice housewarden chores and some of the housewarden chores as well.

Melanie Furea

[picture is a temporary placeholder made on picrew, I actually want to draw her]. This is my most recent and most elaborate OC. This one has the most story-info, is the only one not at NRC (so could technically be integrated into the story without making NRC a mixed school), and she is the one I am most proud of (I think Dannah, Aestric and Melanie are my three main babies). The story has some obvious mistakes, plotholes and otherwise still, so please ignore these as I am still finetuning her and figuring out how blot etc works precisely. I know you're not really into twst that much anymore, so idk how much you know of chapter 6, but there are some spoilers in here, just so you know. I will keep most things vague.

Melanie Furea - her friends call her Mel, at least they would, if she had any friends. Her family had been tied to the Shroud family long before they got cursed, already indebted because of a personal matter between ancestors, where a Furea promised servitude from their family to the Shrouds, in exchange for getting their family saved. The exact details are unsure, but the Furea family wouldn't exist if it weren't for the Shrouds. Then, when hundreds of years ago the Shrouds got cursed, and their servants got a hereditary curse placed upon them as well. As the Shrouds are forced to be near sources of blot, burning them incessantly before it starts eating at their own energy, the Fureas keep producing blot, overblotting if the blot doesn't get dealt with, forcing them to stay one the Isle of Woe as well, where there's the necessary precautions, or near a Shroud when they leave the Isle. If there is too much blot produced, it's a quick overblot without even having to use magic, and they will die

Somewhere a few generations back, the bond was no longer one of exact servitude, as neither families truly remember what that is for, but since they do kind of need each other to balance out the curses, they keep working on the isle as assistants/higher ups at Styx. Melanie's parents were the first to try and get away from that all, devising a plan to escape, with a magical item that they acquired that would take away their blot accumulation. It cost them all their money, and they hadn't gotten far before noticing that it was a scam. They died in their escape attempt, leaving little Melanie behind. She was 10 at the time, old enough to realize what was happening. Melanie now works for Styx, mostly as Idia's personal assistant, staying in contact with him, even when he's at NRC. They basically grew up together, the Shroud parents taking pity on her and taking her in after her parent's death. This was also one year after the Ortho-incident, so they were hoping having someone around of his age would make it easier to overcome his grief and get him out of his shell again. It didn't help much, but she is closer to Idia than anyone else (except of course Otho IA). They regularly game together and he can talk normal to her. If anything, he kind of bosses her around sometimes.

She used to dream of leaving the island, fueled by stories told by her parents, but what happened to them was enough of a shock for her to give up said dream. Now she kind of lives a meaningless existence, following Idia's lead in online escapism, having online alter egos that are living out big adventures in safer online environments.

Since there isn't much to do for her besides work and game, and there are very little people for her to socialize with, she is a bit harder to get along with. She is kind of sarcastic and has pretty high walls built around her, and most people who work at Styx need to avoid her anyway because people with low magic can get affected by the constant blot-production.

She has a little bit of a crush on Idia too, but chooses to ignore that and handles her emotions with more sarcasm and a little distance and kicking his ass at rhythm games. Because of her curse, she is planning on not being selfish like her parents and have her bloodline die out. It's not like the Shrouds 'need' them anymore anyway, as long as they return to Styx regularly they can travel around just fine.

which leaves me with an interesting idea for if she and Idia were to ever have kids, if that would break both familial curses??

Her unique magic is blooming love "get off my case" - a defensive spell which makes white flowers appear. They are harmless unless touched and then they paralyze the person who's touched them, effectively being a barrier between her and people trying to close.

Underneath is some more brainrot and ramble i pulled straight from discord, so if it's a little more chaotic that's why. Hercules is one of my favorite movies and Idia is my favorite together with Leona, which is why I put so much effort in this OC. I just simply had way more to play with for Idia, as chapter 6 has so much more lore than chapter 2. No matter how much I love Leona, his story was so far the worst, and I am still a little salty about that.

discord blurb 1: "3 am Melanie thoughts: since there's some physical representation of the curse as there is with the Shrouds, I'm putting it in her hair as well. It's pitch black, like a manifestation of blot. It looks like a strange mix of fluid/gaseous, but it's neither, with little drips falling down but never hitting the floor. It generally looks wavy/curly, but also changes shape with emotions, though never color. When she's excited, angry or generally experiencing intense emotions, it becomes more curly/wild/voluminous looking. When sad/shy/deflated/anxious it becomes flatter and flatter, even hanging in front of her face (think Violet from the Incredibles). She mostly wears it in a ponytail though, to keep it out of her face since she hates it as a reminder to why she's practically chained to the Isle."

discord blurb 2: "Oh and considering Idia's feelings around her, she's always been better at hiding feelings so where Idia was a shutin and became increasingly anxious around people, she's mostly been harboring anger which makes her mostly a little intimidating and generally hard to approach. So i am standing with my Idia being both attracted to her but also intimidated by her on a personal level, but professionally and for gaming opportunities they get along just fine. He has a habit of still kind of ordering her around without thinking about it even when she's off the clock, and she will 100% just chuck the things he needs at his head whenever she's off the clock, which serves as a great reminder."

IF you read through all of this, Berry, I am sending you all the internet points and cookies. Thank you SO MUCH for letting me ramble and elaborate on my OCs. I have so much feelings about them and I love talking about them, but I also always feel a little embarassed cause I don't want to push them in people's faces. And well.. now you have seen some of my drawings too I guess. Sending you loads of love!

#berry anon #Hazel speaks #hazel and friends #twisted wonderland #naku no oc #nakunoOC #my OCs #twst OC #twisted wonderland OC #my art #my oc art

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junniepop · 3 years

Text

JJK men and a male reader

So I died and came back. Now my inbox is filled with a lot of Jujutsu Kaisen stuff with a male reader, so I looked around and noticed there aren't a lot of male writers or even gender neutral ones, meaning that's what I'll be doing for awhile. This first request is...

before I get started, if you'd like to request something, then please see my masterlist

JJK boys with a male s/o

Warnings: aged up and language oh and some nsfw stuff cuz that's what they wanted.

Characters: I. Yuuji, F. Megumi, G. Satoru, N. Kento, R. Sukuna, T. Aoi

I. Yuuji

Isn't hung up by you being male, I feel as Yuuji got older, the more open minded he became. His sexuality was something that evolved as he aged and had a big change in his mid teenage years when he was exploring himself. Into his late teens he began seeing people of all types of representation, he simply did not care how they presented themselves.

That leads us to you, our gorgeous male that has Yuuji simping. All seriousness, this man loves entirely, some might even find it to be smothering. He is the type to text you paragraphs of good morning and goodnight texts, always leaving something for you to eat in the fridge, brings something home because it reminded him of you, and always always makes time to call you before a mission.

Yuuji always has random thoughts about you. Like, "Should I make his favorite tonight?" "I wonder what he's doing." "Oh....that would look so cute on him, should I get it?" "AH this charm has our initials on it! that means it was meant to be!"

If you're a sorcerer, Yuuji d e m a n d s to be your partner on missions and he will have a fit if someone says no. Is constantly stressing himself out over your well being, even if he knows you can handle yourself. always asking about your technique and is amazed every time he sees it. Very protective, stands in front of you a lot and when he see's you struggling he doesn't hesitate to get the curse's attention regardless of his own situation.

Also just because I feel like he would: Yuuji gave you a promise ring when he realized you were the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

He has this need to prove to you that he is a fit partner, Like showing you he can cook, has his own place, very responsible with his money and what not.

The type of guy to send you a million snaps a day. He will literally show you everything he did that day and wants the same in return.

Every date with him somehow includes a physical activity. Going out to dinner? chances are Yuuji will see an arcade and more specifically the DDR in the background.

NSFW

In terms of sexual stuff, Yuuji seems like a top, but has definitely thought about bottoming and upon trying it- was not into it. Does not matter if you're much bigger than him or not, he will top you. However, Yuuji is rather submissive when it comes to his partner, he will say yes to whatever it is you want. You want him to be soft and gentle, he'll do it. You want him to absolutely wreck your ability to walk, he'll do it.

The first time Yuuji tried stuff with a guy, he for sure looked up if it would hurt and read that anal could be very painful, was TERRIFIED that he would hurt the guy. Definitely was asking with every movement if he was okay. With you he's more confident, but still askes if you're okay throughout the event.

Man is simple, likes very intimate positions where he can see your face. Heavily into pleasing you, he tries any kinks you're into even if he's not that into it. Loves being praised, it just does something to his brain, in that same line- any sounds you make go straight to his dick. Really enjoys marking, is proud to cover you in them too.

The type of guy to enjoy eating you out, like fully sit on his face. Plus it helps his dick slide in smoother.

Yuuji will lose his mind if you say you want to milk him. Yuuji usually never thinks about his own pleasure, so when you want to pleasure him until he's empty, mans is not readyyyy. Just stutters out an okay and proceeds to go stupid when you start.

Conclusion

Yuuji loves you entirely. Trusts you 100% and would do anything to keep your life stable and happy. Yuuji just wants to grow old with you tbh, so in love with the idea.

If you were to break up with him, he would be devastated, unable to continue on for a long time. I mean he placed his everything into you, why would you do this to him?

all in all, it is a very stable relationship as long as you don't take him for granted because he is prone to letting people use him.

F. Megumi

Definitely did not care you were male. Megumi cares about a person's mentality, their goals and dreams, the way a person carries themselves. When Megumi met you, he found you quite attractive, your drive is what lured him in and from there his feelings developed.

Megumi is subtle in showing his affection. Little touches here, sticky notes meant just for you, always carrying 'extra' snacks. It actually might take you awhile to notice his affections for you, simply because it is so subtle. Megumi seems like the person to wait until you confess. However. Megumi would confess if he gets pushed to or knows he won't get rejected.

Once he confesses, his love is soft and soothing with a hint of awkwardness. Megumi in the beginning would be showing affection through words and small acts of service, always telling you how much he appreciates you and doing things for you. Some of these things would be things like picking up snacks for you, doing your laundry, leaving you some of his clothes. He likes to do these things without you knowing because I think it lessens the embarrassment he feels doing it.

Even if you are in a long term relationship with him, he always gets flustered by you. Megumi is naturally reserved, so telling him I love you with sincerity will cause him to malfunction. Poor boy freezes and stutters around his words while avoiding eye contact.

Now, physical contact in this relationship is a tell tale sign of how much Megumi trusts you and loves you. Megumi is the type of person to reserve physical touch for someone he completely trusts, so with you, this will let you know his true feelings.

Touch would start with closeness at first, just grazing hands or bumping knees, but would develop into hours of intimate cuddling because he's touched starved. KISSING, oh my lord- his kisses tell you everything he feels. so intense, no matter how soft he kisses you.

if you're a sorcerer, Megumi is the type to go on missions with you, but doesn't complain if he can't go with you. However, worries a lot and contemplates going after you. Unlike Yuuji, who would go to literal war, Megumi trusts your strength a lot. The only time he is like yuuji is against a particularly strong curse. Loves fighting together though, it shows how much you trust him.

NSFW

Megumi gives me verse energy. Like he was a top for a long time, asked you if he could bottom once and was surprisingly into it. So now when the mood arises, its whatever you guys are in the mood for. You guys often take turns.

His first time was with you- Megumi just seems like a late bloomer and you were the only person he did stuff with. He's very gentle because he knows it can be painful, I think sexually his fear is not being good enough for you, so give him as much reassurance as you can.

Now this boy is rather kinky despite his personality. Loves when you beg, drives him mad to hear your pleas and whimpers. Likes the pain of you needing something to hold onto when he tops which results in scratches down his back and the pulling of his hair. Doesn't think condoms are necessary because you're the only person for him in his eyes- aka likes breeding. When he bottoms, he enjoys riding and wants to see your face as he does. Do not get it twisted though, he's very much into you messing him up and railing him.

SEND THIS BOY NUDES. DO IT. Mans will sprint home if he has to. Don't do it too often or he'll get used to it. Maybe like once every two-ish weeks. Or better yet do it while he's on a mission. Megumi always tries to answer you, so expecting something serious, he short circuits when its just a pic of you in some underwear he thought he ripped the last time you guys were intimate.

Conclusion

Shy boy into some kinky things with his partner. It might take him some time to develop a deep relationship with you because he's scared you'll leave, but as long as you provide him the security he needs, he'll stay by your side indefinitely.

If you were to break up with him, you're just like his dad in his eyes and the betrayal would result in him locking many people out. Unlike Yuuji, who's emotions pour out of him, many wouldn't know Megumi is barely scrapping by.

G. Satoru

Gojo doesn't give a rats ass how you present yourself, he lives by the motto "a hole's a hole." What truly would make Gojo invest in more than casual hooking up is your personality. Gojo needs someone who doesn't need him and doesn't care about who he is in the sorcerer world. Someone like that would capture his eye rather quick and this man is like "Eh? I'm GOJO SATORU, you know top dog?" and you would just blink and go back to whatever it was you were doing.

Shows off so much trying to impress you. "ne ne (Y/n) did you see me squash that special grade into dust?" *sigh* "Yes Gojo, I also saw you split one into a thousand pieces and turn another into a ball." so unamused by his abilities.

The one time he saw amazement cross your features is when he was playing the piano (I feel Gojo's other talents were never looked at and everyone saw him as this god like being, all he wants is someone to look at other things he can do.) and his heart skipped a beat. Because his first goal was just get into your pants, he was quite surprised you were more interested in his normal talents. This is where he begins showing you his real side, still a teasing man child, but he begins asking you about your interests and seeing what you have in common.

The more he learns, the harder it is for him to find a way not to commit to you. You see Gojo subconsciously looks for a reason to leave, he hates being tied down and is super flighty. Then there's you, ticking all his boxes without even knowing it. There's only been one person to do that.

So he takes a leap and goes for it. He's still scared that he'll get burned like last time, but he's willing to try.

One of the requirements to being with Gojo is you need to be strong in your own right. Gojo is an extremely powerful man with many enemies, so his partner must be able to handle themselves. Being a sorcerer, Gojo would B E G you to go with him on literally every single mission and would throw the biggest tantrum until you say yes. Sometimes when he's being particularly childish, he'll stop fighting the curses to watch you do it. "You can do it (Y/n)-chan, if you win I'll give you kisses." Takes everything in your power not to launch your technique right at him as he sits there with his shit-eating grin.

This man in the beginning of your relationship is immediately extremely handsy. Just all up on you all the time, but little do you know is, this is really a protective measure for when you're out of the house. At home, he's still handsy, but you can just feel how different it is. He'll come and fall asleep on you, stand behind you when you're doing your skincare routine, always following you around the house.

Overtime, you'll become his place to rest when he needs to recharge. You're the only time Gojo gets a break from being at the top. It makes you wonder if he ever truly gets to be normal.

Overall, Gojo's love is deceptively delicate because his personality is quite childish, he uses it as a mask to hide how he's really feeling. So you might think everything is going swimmingly until he ups and leaves you. Once he starts showing you that real side of him, that's when you have him wrapped around your finger.

NSFW

This man is incredibly horny. His stamina is very high and he's very kinky. Gojo is a dominant verse whore. It doesn't matter if he's taking or giving, he's always in control. Honey you were not first and you might not be the last, this man is very confident in pleasuring you.

Gojo like I said, is incredibly kinky. He enjoys degrading you, overstimulating you until you beg him to stop, he wants to break you and make you only crave him. Seriously, you might want to think about a safe word because this man won't stop until you're not even speaking coherent sentences. In saying that there are somethings that you can try (key word 'try') to do to make him lose his mind. One of those things is a blowjob, his dick is incredibly sensitive in certain areas, so he'll become a mind-numbed mess if you're good enough. Another is softly begging in his ear and saying how he's the only one who makes you feel this way aka call him your god in bed and he'll bust right then and there.

Phone sex. Legit will call you if you guys haven't been together for a few days and all you hear are his whines and groans. "Guess what I'm doing cutie~"

THIS MAN- you're never safe to answer your phone because one time you opened the snap and it was him lazily jacking his dick. You have a small heart attack every time the notif is a snap from Gojo, just praying you can open it in public and 9/10 you can't.

The type of guy to get handsy in public places. Just in your ear like "Baby pleeeeasssseeeee can we fuck in public, I promise you'll still be able to walk when I'm done."

Conclusion

Gojo is a rollercoaster of a relationship that needs it's rider to be okay with a lot of distance for awhile and sudden disappearances. Without the right criteria, the relationship is doomed to fail.

If you were to break up with him, he would immediately sleep with as many people as he can to numb himself from the pain of having a hole ripped right through him. He'd go back to that childish personality, but you can feel the edge in his words despite his tone.

N. Kento

Nanami gives me 'gave up on the sex of my partner ages ago' energy. Like he has tried relationships with a lot of people and realized all people suck. So you being a man means nothing to him, you just have to prove to him you're not shitty like everyone else.

The type of guy that takes you out on proper dates in the beginning. It's usually dinner because of his job, but sometimes he'll ask you to lunch. Nanami will bring you small gifts like flowers or Knick knacks he thought you'd like.

Nanami likes someone a little younger than himself, probably around 23-24, they still have that idealistic thought process but with realistic foundations. He likes someone who can be serious, but still enjoys things like joyrides or going out bowling.

Nanami is a very uptight guy, so you're going to have to work to get him to relax. When you do, this is when he starts to see you as long time partner rather than someone who is just for fun. Literally goes from stick up his ass, to a big softie that just wants to curl up in bed with you. He'll start smiling more and doing intimate things like bathing together.

Nanami would probably rather have someone outside the sorcerer world so he doesn't have to think about work when he sees you. He wouldn't complain if you were though, gives him a lot less to worry about since he knows you can handle yourself. Doesn't even stress when you go on missions by yourself, he respects your strength.

NSFW

Now Nanami is moderately kinky. He's definitely a top and will not change. He's into ddlb (dom daddy and little boy for my innocents out there.) Very much into control and making you take it, he's not one for brats and will tame that shit right out of you. Doesn't need a safe word, he's very good at gauging your reactions. Really really into deep throating and you better learn how to breathe or you'll be struggling. Likes breeding, so he would be glad you can't have children.

Conclusion

Nanami’s love is traditional and straight forward. He likes routine to a certain degree and that degree ends at stable relationship, everything else is not that fun without a level of risk to him, but he likes that when he comes home, you'll be right there.

if you were to break up with him, Nanami would sigh and say he told himself so. He's hurt, but it'll solidify that people are still and always will be shitty.

R. Sukuna

Sukuna does not do love. period. The only way I could see him giving notice to someone is if they are powerful, someone who can bring him amusement. Sukuna only does thing for his own entertainment end of discussion.

I’m going to be using post-Yuuji Sukuna, so he’s restricted by Yuuji himself and can’t outright cause chaos at all times. This way Sukuna has to spend more time with people than he’d like to, normally he would just kill something once he’s bored, but now he has to deal with them.

Noticed your technique through Yuuji and was amused, much like Megumi, he thought your curse technique had a lot of potential to be devastating. As Yuuji spent more time with you, Sukuna began noticed more things about you, like that you cooked better than Yuuji, were extremely versatile in battle with your technique and so on.

The type to notice your attraction to him and act on it. He can’t really do much since he’s in Yuuji’s body, so he’s going to work with what he’s got. Didn’t care if you’re male or female, he just likes a strong partner so he can go harder during sex.

Your relationship would start with being his toy, something to bring him pleasure that is all. With Sukuna, you must both respect him and not fear him. He’s very big on respect and trust, but hates when someone he views as ‘important’ fears him because they’ll betray him the second they can. Everyone else can fear him, he doesn’t care.

Sukuna is also highly unpredictable and unstable, be prepared for death at a moments notice tbh. He’ll kill you if he feels like it. In a deeper relationship, Sukuna is a hard pressed tsundere, saying things quite harshly. Saying things like, “Here brat, I don’t need you breaking just yet.” “Dumbass, that curse was stronger than you.” “I took care of them because you’re weak.”

Trust between Sukuna and you is a game of high stakes chess, one wrong move and you’re nothing but trash to him. However, succeed in earning his trust and you’ll be rewarded with a loyal man. Though Sukuna hates showing vulnerability, so he’ll treat you the same in public places that he would treat anyone else. Alone, he’s alright with whatever as long as it doesn’t annoy him.

Surprisingly protective. He’ll kill curses he deems are a problem to you or rip a person limb from limb if he found a hair missing from your head. Doesn’t understand why you don’t let him handle it, he’s way stronger than you.

Is almost never soft with you unless he’s extremely tired or just waking up. Holding you as close as he can and telling you not to go. Don’t bring it up either, he’ll end you if you tell anyone.

Will never tell you, but likes touching you, you’re very soft compared to him. He’s the type of guy to have callous from years of fight and doesn’t really care about his skin to much because he’s a God in his eyes.

Would rather surrender himself to a church than admit he gets slightly giddy when you remember small details about him. Like this man has a lot of history, so when you know a tiny random detail about him, his non-existent heart shutters a little.

Nsfw

This man is extremely kinky during sex. I pray for your well being because honestly I don’t know if you’re going to live through sex with him. A dom top period, that last person to even insinuate they could top him was added to his innate domain permanently.

He’s into completely dominating you and make sure you know he owns you. B I G into impact play, slapping you a lot until you’re a beautiful red. Degrading and humiliating you, honestly would let people watch so they know that you’re his property.

Actually really likes his partner to be a brat, man loves breaking you and turning you into a submissive bunny just for him. Honestly he just likes pushing people beyond their limits, like really into emotional play, he wants to see your expressions when he does something. Ooo objectification, will use you like a foot stool and sit on you. Man in general will work you hard.

In saying all that, immaculate aftercare because he knows your mind is too far gone to remember him being this caring and soft for you. Literally bathes you and gets you into bed curled up on him. Also makes sure your body didn’t sustain a lot of damage during sex.

Do. Not. Taunt. Sukuna. It will not end well. “Huuuh? You think you can handle more little boy?” Eyes narrowed and smile too tight. You’ve awoken the beast and he’s not going to leave anything unbroken.

Conclusion

Sukuna’s love is... well a bike ride through hell? To be honest you’ll never know if he loves you. Everything about him is highly unpredictable and dangerous, you could end up as worm food in seconds.

Breaking up with Sukuna... you’re joking right? You don’t have the balls to tell a man who could split you into a million pieces with a flick of the wrist, you’re breaking up with him , right?

Seriously he’ll kill you, no hesitation. It’s either realize you’re stuck with him or die. I think most people would assume he never cared at first, but he did care and now you want to leave him? Absolutely not. He set everything down for you and he’ll be damned if he lets you live without him.

T. Aoi

(First and foremost- why is it so hard to find Toudou headers.)

Okay, I’m sorry but Toudou to me is a straight guy, so I can’t really see him with a male. But, if it were to happen, I think it would go like this:

Being childhood friends with Toudou, you were used to his eccentric personality and sometimes extreme antics.

This man is EXTREMELY comfortable with you. You guys grew up together, so some of the things you guys do together would definitely be seen as way too much for friends. I’m talking sharing the same bed, bathing together, using each other’s things without permission. To you guys, you’ve been doing this since you were little, so neither of you think twice.

I think there would be a trigger that would make Toudou realize he’s more into you than being friends. Like maybe someone flirting with you, he’d at first think he’s being replaced as a friend, but it’s much deeper than that. Definitely debates in his head about what he’s feeling toward you. After going back and forth with his type of girl in his head, he’ll come to terms with it.

This is when he’ll start noticing things he’s never payed that much attention to before. Things like how small you’re compared to him, the way clothes fitted to your body, how pretty you actually were and most important difference- how he’s never noticed you have the fattest ass he’s ever seen.

Seriously this man’s sexuality went from women to women + you.

Toudou isn’t the type to wait either, as soon as he knows how he feels, he confesses. He’s the type of guy to say “take it or leave it, that is how I feel.”

You kinda just stand there. Like, huh? Toudou are you feeling okay? Have- have you been cursed? There’s no way, Toudou middle name pussy pounder Aoi just said he was into you romantically... right?

After the shock, you reciprocated his feelings and began dating.

Now, this man- S U P E R affectionate and devoted. Always wanting to hold hands or link arms. He loves cuddling and playing with your hair while you sleep on him. Puddy in your hands if you give him a massage.

Toudou is immensely dedicated. He knows your favorite foods down to the amount of salt you use on your fries, knows what sizes you prefer for hoodies, shirts, button ups and so on, and this man knows your favorite movies by heart.

He’s the type to buy you something simply because you said it was starting to give you problems.

Lovvvvessss dates. I mean he’s a hopeless romantic, he wants to take you on really cheesy dates that you’d see honeymoon couples go on.

The type to want to match clothing or jewelry.

If you’re a sorcerer, he’s wanting to train everyday, he likes seeing you in action. Double points if you can match him in strength too. He respects your strength enough to not worry about you, he’s confident in his S/o’s abilities.

NSFW

Top. Enough said. Ok but seriously, he wants to clap you cheeks so bad.

Toudou has the biggest size kink too, I’m talking like he’s the type to point right at your navel and say “I’m right here baby~ can you feel me filling you?”

His definitely into railing. His favorite position is the mating press, allows him to hit deeply and as hard as he wants.

Lovesss when you whine and beg. He wants to see how much you can take before your begging him to let you cum.

The type of guy to leave your ass a nice reddish purple color. Just two big ass hand prints on you ass and hips.

✨i m m a c u l a t e✨ aftercare. It’s almost like he’s worshipping you when he’s cleaning you up and making sure you’re taken care of.

Conclusion

Being with Toudou is like being with an Aries, he’s high energy and can get easily bored. He enjoys someone who excites him both mentally and physically. Loves a challenge. Toudou’s love is like a concentrated ball of sunlight, it’s hot and bright. He’s overly devoted to you and tells you how much you mean to him all the time.

If you break up with him, he’s the type to hold his head high until he’s alone and then he breaks down, crying into his hands. Thinking, “Was I too much?” “Maybe I wasn’t enough?” He’s confident, but he’s still a person with insecurities.

#jjk x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #jjk itadori #jjk megumi #jjk nanami #jjk gojo #ryoumen sukuna #itadori yuuji #fushiguro megumi #jjk toudou #aoi toudou #gojo satoru #kento nanami #itadori headcanons #megumi hcs #Hiro JJK #Hiro Male Reader

2K notes · View notes

notnctu · 4 years

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through the lens ❀ l.jn

❀ lee jeno x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, smut/mature content, fluff (romance?), slight angst ❀ details - photographer!jeno, model!reader, college!au, shy!jeno but he aint shy in bed, strangers to fuckers!au ❀ word count - 8k (this is the longest thing ive ever written) ❀ warnings - nude modeling, swearing, oral (f/receiving), some sweet love makin’ ❀ brief synopsis - jeno asks you to model for his internship project, but little did you know, it was going to be a nude photo shoot.

❝ jeno was too shy to hold eye contact, but he stared at you endlessly through the lens. ❞

❀ a/n - hihihi this is author doie❀ ! im bad at writing smut so pls dont hate me ah ha lol i tried my best i also dont model/do professional photography so really apologize if i butcher any terms lmaoo the only thing i am is that im in college and im shy

Jeno had applied to almost a hundred internships and almost close to none returned with an offer, even after a whole month of waiting. He absolutely needed to start building his portfolio before the beginning of his senior year of college. The embarrassment of possibly graduating without any experience loomed over the desperate boy.

Photography had been more than a hobby to him, to the point where he wanted to take it seriously. His parents weren’t the most supportive of an Arts major, but that couldn’t stop him. Jeno saw the best through a camera lens. He had a special eye for beautiful moments and the impressing urge to capture it forever.

It was too late to change his major, if he wanted to graduate with all of his friends. If he wanted to be successful, he had to act on it now.

The swoosh! of a new email startled the sleeping boy. He stared at the brightly lit screen, reading the words over and over again to make sure it was real. Jeno was so enthralled with excitement that he scrambled out of bed to wake up his roommate, Jaemin.

He shook him so violently that the sheets fell from Jaemin’s warm body. “Dude! I got an internship!” He spoke with incredible glee, a wide smile couldn’t leave his face.

Jaemin groaned and had to hold Jeno by the shoulders to halt the boy from causing the room to spin. “Why--What is going on?” He dazely rubbed his tired eyes to blink at his giddy roommate.

The screen blinded Jaemin as it was shoved too closely to adjust. “Whoa--,” he pushed it away and shut his eyes, “--repeat what you just said one more time.” Jaemin held a finger up and Jeno grabbed it, jumping onto his best friend’s bed.

“I got an internship. Someone got back to me.” Jaemin returned the same excitement the moment he processed his words. He shot up in bed and hugged his friend tightly.

“Wo-w, dude! Congratulations!” The two boys hurried on their feet to cheer together. There was no concern for the rest of their housemates, only celebration that roared throughout the entire night.

Truthfully, Jeno had no recollection of applying to this studio. It could have been a random link on a job scouting website, but he couldn’t be more grateful. An internship was long overdue and Jeno had been itching to get some recognition for his craft.

“Hello, I’m Lee Jeno.” He bowed slightly at the receptionist, who had a stern stare that made him feel vulnerable. The first thing he noted about the office: white and minimalistic.

Jeno’s specialty was landscape photography. His aesthetics consisted of black and white filters, city lights, dark mood lighting, and background commotion. He enjoyed capturing chaos the most, a scene where more than one thing was happening. The only reason being that there was more to look at.

“Nice to meet you. The name is Lee Taemin, but you can call me what you please.” A young, lean man strolled his way towards Jeno with a wide grin and his hand for him to shake. Taemin was slightly shorter than him, but his stylish, expensive boots made up for his height. He had to be only a maximum of five years older than Jeno as Taemin appeared relatively youthful.

Taemin’s firm grip pulled Jeno along inside the studio. A small gasp escaped from Jeno which earned robust laughter from the older man. “I hope you can break out of your shell soon. There is no room for timidness around here, Mister Lee.”

“Please, you can call me Jeno.” He smiled, quite awkwardly at the beautiful man.

The tall glass windows, the concrete, gray floor, the white doors that lined the hallway, had to be all too predictable. Jeno envisioned this is what high class must look like. It was the pristine, bright feeling and the smell of vanilla that lingered distastefully. There was chatter behind the closed doors --- mainly directing, and high praises.

The only off-put was that photographers worked behind closed doors. From the few studios he has visited previously, photographers often worked in open spaces due to lighting fractures or the ability to roam more freely.

“I’m actually very ecstatic you signed up for the internship, since you do seem a bit on the younger side.” Taemin gestured toward the sofa in the middle of his massive office. Jeno sat across from him. Water was already placed on the glass coffee table that separated the two. A laptop was opened to face Taemin.

Jeno slyly rubbed the condensation from his palms on his jeans. Taemin’s stare bore deep into the shy boy, who had to break eye contact from time to time. “I know.” Jeno chuckled nervously, “thank you for getting back to me. I was really hoping to gain work experience through mentorship.”

Taemin nodded at everything Jeno was saying. His face being completely expressionless. Jeno sipped his water to regain moisture in his dry throat. Taemin was more intimidating than he was anticipating. “Sounds great. Happy to have you here. It might be a small business, but the experience is worth investing in. Every photographer who has come in and out of my building has found their forte. Let’s say, it’s eye opening.”

“That’s exactly what I was looking for actually.” As scared as he was of this mysterious man, he really enjoyed the comfort the environment radiated.

Taemin leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “I noticed in the portfolio you sent that you don’t have any portraits or any people, in general, in your photos. Do you have any works with people? Since this is a studio of fine art nude photography.”

Nude. Jeno practically choked on the last remaining spit he gathered. Taemin acknowledged the boy’s shocked reaction and tilted his head curiously, “you did know that I specialize in contemporary fine art nude photography, right?” Unfortunately, Jeno did not.

Jeno cleared his throat, “yes, of course. I wanted to challenge myself.” He had to lie, there was no other way to cover up his disbelief. This internship was the only hope left for him to gain something. Though, even the thought of shooting a naked body made him anxious.

He hated how timid he was. His friends and family say otherwise, mainly for the reason that Jeno automatically lit up behind a camera. In all honesty, he hid behind it. It was the only safe place that Jeno knew what he was doing. However when it came to real life situations without it, he lacked the confidence to be himself.

As ironic as it was, he hated being seen. He liked to be the background character in his own life, because the main character took too much of a toll. It could also be his deafening insecurities and lack of self esteem, but Jeno didn’t mind not being the center of attention.

“You like a challenge?” It was more of a statement rather than a question. Jeno caught a glimpse of the twinkle in Taemin’s dark eyes. “Then for your first task, I want you to show me that you can take on this role.”

Jeno scrambled for his phone to jot down notes. “Send me an emotional portfolio, model of your choice. They could be a friend of yours that you feel comfortable seeing naked. It must include a variation of headshots, full body, and body details. It must also be raw and unedited photos. I want to see if you have the eye for the art to capture these types of images.”

“When would you like it by?” He stammered, completely winded at the sudden project that unloaded on top of him.

“Next Friday, and you’ll present it to me here in person. Feel free to use this studio if you don’t have a place of your own with equipment. All you need to do is book a room with the front desk. Any other questions?” The sound of the laptop shutting caused Jeno to look up at the brilliance in front of him. He needed Taemin to help him succeed.

“Why do you take nude photography?”

Taemin was unable to stop the laughter that erupted into the room. “I don’t run a pimp business or sell soft core porn, if that’s why you’re staring at me so funnily. What I make is an art masterpiece, it has nothing to do with physical features or desires. It’s the pure emotion that clothing distracts from. Clothing conforms the model into an aesthetic, and while that works for editorials, it won’t be a consistent thing here.”

Jeno nodded understandingly. Overwhelmed and lost at words. He was unsure what he had gotten himself into. Where was he going to find a model on such short notice on such lewd conditions? He was really going to need to step out of his comfortable zone, in his photography and social skills.

Taemin stood up and extended his hand once more. “I take pride in my art, so I hope you, too, start finding that in your own.”

Jaemin held his stomach from the endless laughter, tears welling up in his eyes. “Nud-Nude photography? And you didn’t know?”

“Jaemin, keep it down.” Jeno whispered and cautiously peered around at the few people flooding into the small lecture hall. “I don’t want everyone in our club to misunderstand and think I’m some creep.”

His best friend straightened up in his seat and placed his hand on Jeno's slumped shoulder, “first of all, you’re a complete idiot for not researching. Secondly, it’s an art form. If you really got yourself a shady, rated R internship, I would’ve told you to drop it instantly.”

His spirits were slightly lifted, but he was still struggling with who he should ask to model for him. As much as he’s already seen of Jaemin, being his roommate, he honestly would rather leave the rest to imagination. Jeno wasn’t purposefully searching the room for a candidate, but he could not stop his eyes from drifting.

He spotted the most attractive side profile that sat two rows below him. He shook his head to make sure he was seeing her correctly. Peering around, he looked for another possible face to shoot. But oh god, how she caught his eye every time she even slightly moved.

You smiled happily with your friends by your side as your club’s executive board members introduced this year’s goals and events to attend. It had to be the smallest amount of alcohol still running in your system that caused you to giggle every time guys tried to turn around and hit on you.

“Why don’t you focus on our club members instead?” You smirked at the smug older boy, who had poorly attempted to grab your attention. “I think this information is important to you. These events could help you develop your social skills to be much better.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but your girl friends scoffed by your side.

He got up in disbelief and quickly walked out of the room. There was a brief pause at the sudden movement, but the announcement carried on per usual.

Jeno impatiently waited for the club meeting to finally be over, so he could talk to you. The longer it dragged, the more his confidence was subsiding. “I’m heading to study, wanna come with?” Jaemin poked at Jeno’s knee.

“Yeah, but you can go ahead first. I need to talk to someone.” His voice was shaky and his throat went so dry. Jeno’s shifty eyes scanned the room, hoping no one saw how nervous he was acting.

Jaemin’s eyebrows lifted suspiciously, “who? I didn’t even know you talked to anyone who came today. Donghyuck and Renjun aren’t here---”

“--her, Jaemin... her. I’m going to ask her to model for me.” Jeno motioned his head. His heart beating faster at seeing a small grin appear on your face from a comment someone made.

Jaemin hummed, “good luck with that, bud. I’ve got two shoulders for you to cry on after.” The extra hint of sarcasm only made Jeno sweat nervously. He was seriously doubting his decision, but it wouldn’t be a challenge if he didn’t do it. He knew he’d regret it more if he didn’t just ask you.

Once the meeting was dismissed, you wanted to get out of the room before the heavy rush into the hallways. Unfortunately, a few frat guys pulled you into their conversation and chatted up a storm. Your friends played into their foolery, but you stopped paying attention when they asked for your numbers.

There was a faint tap on your shoulder and you turned to see who the culprit was. You didn’t seem to know him, because you would’ve remembered such a demeanor. His eyes were glued to the floor behind you and his shaky hands ran through his brown locks. His shyness was quite endearing, yet alarming since you weren’t sure why exactly he had approached you.

“Yes?” You asked curiously.

The moment Jeno heard your delicate cadence, he melted like a popsicle left out in the sun. He peered up, but quickly reverted his eyes to the white tiles when he noticed how beautifully you stared at him.

He counted his breathing to calm his rapid heart beat. He cleared his throat to introduce himself, “I’m Jeno. I’m a third year Arts major, um-- I was just--- I know we don’t know each other. I wanted to ask, uh-” Jeno was horrified at how he stammered over his own words. His cheeks burned with a red glow, and if he couldn’t look you in the eye before, he definitely couldn’t now.

“Hey, see you later.” One of the bulky frat guys called and you waved back weakly.

A guy who had been chasing you endlessly scoffed at the pitiful sight and smirked at you, “see you at my house tonight? Been missing you in my bed lately.”

“Thought you would’ve guessed the reason why I stopped coming around.” Jeno heard the sting in your remarks and the disbelief in the male.

You honestly could have left, Jeno knew that. But you stayed and waited patiently for him to finish. Jeno could tell how strong you were just by your intimidating aura that practically suffocated him by standing in close proximity to you.

You sighed and reached to grab your jacket on the folded seat, “look, Jeno. It’s nice to meet you and all, but I gotta get going.”

Shockingly, the shy boy reached out to stop you by your fingertips. His touch lingered before he dropped your hand quickly. “I’m sorry. Are you free this Monday?”

“Uh, that depends. If you’re asking me on a date, then I’m busy.” Rolling your eyes, you weren’t sure why you still stayed to listen to what this random stranger had to say. If it were anyone else, you would’ve walked away the moment he asked if you were free. However, you acknowledged his timidness and the courage he must have mustered up to approach you.

Jeno shook his head violently, completely in shambles from that type of misunderstanding. “Not a date. I need someone to model for my portfolio photos that my internship assigned. It’s actually very important to me because it’s the first internship that responded back to me when I had applied to so many a whole month ago. Basically, I really need this and you because I think you’d be perfect to take pictures of. Oh-- wow! That sounded very bad --- uh --- what I meant is that your facial proportions are perfect and---”

“I’m free Monday.” You cut off his endless ramble and gestured toward his phone. He handed it to you without any hesitation and you typed in your number. “Text me the time, place and what I should wear.”

“Oh actually, it’s a nude photoshoot.” Your eyes doubled in size, completely offended by that statement.

Jeno felt the sudden shift in the air and brought his hands up to block himself, “to be more clear, it’s a contemporary fine art nude photography studio. The pictures are pieces of art and to be seen as that only. I have no intentions or ulterior motive to sleep with you, see you naked or sell, leak your nudes for the profit of your body. But, I understand if you no longer want to do it because it sounds super strange now that I am explaining it.”

Your shoulders relaxed and the fist that formed unraveled. You exhaled deeply, “I’ll do it. We can talk more about it on Monday and I get to leave on my own accord if I don’t feel comfortable. We work on my conditions.” Picking up Jeno’s chin, he was absolutely petrified at the forced eye contact and your incredible, powerful gaze. He was mesmerized by the fire in your eyes, and if he stared any longer, he could’ve lost himself in them.

“Of course.” With that, you dropped his face and left without another look back. Jeno looked down at his phone and the new contact name, (Y/N). It had slipped his mind to even ask what your name was and he slapped his face in utter stupidity. “Do better, Lee Jeno.” It was a remainder to himself to, hopefully, be better the next time you two speak.

Monday, 3:03 PM.

Jeno paced back and forth in the brightly, lit white room. He was trying to find any blinds or curtains to cover the tall windows of the high rise building. It should not be too much of a problem, the extra lighting was a positive. Jeno was only worried for your comfort of the openness.

There was a soft knock before Jeno practically tripped to open the door. His breath hitched at the sight of your bare face. This time, you were the vulnerable one. Jeno only saw purity, yet impressed at how your tired eyes still managed to bid him a soft smile. He admired your uneven complexion, and the sparse moles that dotted your skin.

“Okay, so you want to see me naked now or later?” Filled with jokes, your voice was light and airy this afternoon. There was a bit of a contrast from the first time you two met. Softer, enchanting, almost ghostly.

Everything in the room was white. The mattress on the floor had a white comforter and white sheets. The backdrop. The walls. The hardwood floor. The only color was the blue sky that the tall windows let in.

“Here’s a robe. You can change in the bathroom.” Jeno scratched the back of his neck and his eyes wandered everywhere, but your’s.

“Would you be okay with me just taking off my clothes in here?” You saw the light tint of pink cover his face, and spread to his ears. You examined more of the shy boy’s embarrassed face, finally getting a really good look at him. Jeno was very attractive, and you could only imagine how beautiful he must look if he fully faced you.

Jeno fiddled with his camera strap, “only if you are okay with that.” Clearing his throat, he stood next to the window to give you some privacy. “I’ll go over what I plan on doing. I’m going to take photos of your face details, parts of your body, full body, and portraits. You can lay down on the bed and I’ll direct you in poses. Have you modeled before?”

He was scanning the bustling city below his feet. Cars zoomed quickly and crowds of tiny people flooded the streets. He brought his camera up to his face, not being able to resist the urge to capture such a thrilling sight.

“If Instagram counts, then yeah. Professional model gig would be a no. Nude photography is a definite no, unless we are talking about being filmed during sex.” Jeno chuckled, while also holding the camera steady and stealing a few moments to keep for himself.

For a strange reason, being naked for a non-sensual reason felt even more vulnerable. Laying on the soft fabric, you felt oddly exposed and slightly more reserved. You’ve had countless strangers see you naked. Men were sexually desiring to see a sexy picture. You were always lusted after, but this feeling of nakedness was special.

“Are you ready?” Jeno gulped, finally setting the camera down.

You hummed cheerfully. Your heart was leaping out of your chest as the boy shifted slowly to face you. As he turned, you noticed he had his eyes sealed shut, which caused a small laugh to erupt. “Jeno, you have my permission to open your eyes and to look at me.”

Holy shit, he was trembling with an inexplicable fear. The camera was slipping from his sweaty hands. His mouth was as dry as the desert. Jeno’s pounding heart was loud in his ears.

Jeno has seen his past girlfriends laying naked in bed, but this situation was too different. When he saw you laying there in absolutely nothing, he was overwhelmed, yet astounded at how graceful you appeared.

There was no exchange of words and no exchange of eye contact. He towered over your lying figure and shakily brought the camera to his eyes. He selfishly wanted to capture your elegance. Through the lens, he saw all of you: the curve in your eyelid, your curled eyelashes, the small mole next to your soft lips, the sharp color of your eyes, the way your hair frames your face.

This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. You were comparable to the arts found in popular museums. Your body lines were enticing and an impressive shape. Your breasts pooled on your chest, the round nude nipple in the centers. Your details had to be sculpted by gods, who took their sweet time making you. You were a true masterpiece.

Confused, Jeno felt a huge mixture of emotions. Was he aroused? Was he infatuated? Did he just fall in love with a complete stranger? He recognized the same thrilled feelings he felt taking landscape photos. With each click, he grew more excited with how beautiful the photos were turning out.

“Sit up and rest your chin on your left hand. Lean your weight on your right leg.” Jeno’s direction was clear and firm. There was no evidence of a smaller tone he usually spoke in. Sitting up, you placed your elbow on your upper thigh to steady your chin. Jeno had already gotten down to floor level to you.

Without the camera that separated you two, it had to be the first time he faced you completely in such close proximity. There was so much to admire about Jeno. He remained concentrated on his craft, but it was actually very sexy to see his dedication. It was almost like he was a whole new person, like all the shyness drifted away.

Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off of you. It wasn’t simply your beauty that amazed him. Your confidence made everything easy. There was something about your blank stares, when he asked for an emotion, you portrayed it perfectly.

“Can we talk while you shoot?” Your sudden voice startled the photographer. He lowered his camera and his gaze automatically wandered off behind you, which didn’t go unnoticed. He nodded after a short pause and the shutter noises continued.

“Why did you choose me as your model?”

Jeno peeled away from the device, “because you’re you.” He didn’t even know what that statement meant. It wasn’t like he knew you before the first time he asked you to model for him.

The corners of your lips dipped down, drawing an evident frown. Click. Jeno loved that image especially. It was a simple way to get real, authentic facial expressions. He marveled at the photo, but registered the reason behind it. “I wanted to ask you the second I saw you. I just knew that I wanted you.”

“But you don’t know me.”

Jeno looked through the lens once again, welcoming a full view of your stunning attributes. He spoke in a low voice, “then, let me know you.” Click.

It would be the biggest lie to say that you weren’t aroused by Jeno at the moment. He was cool, without trying to be. He really did shine when he had a camera to work with, like a star to a dark night. While he had a distinct demeanor off the bat, you enjoyed unraveling the rest of him. He was, also, the first man you met that didn’t seem sexually driven by a naked woman in his presence.

You had to resist every urge to push the camera away and share the few seconds of his entire gaze before it wandered away. You wanted to rock his world, he was so innocent and beautiful. You wished to wreak havoc on him, have him show you how much he wanted you.

You anticipated an awkward photoshoot, but Jeno made you feel safe and comfortable. He made sure to adjust the temperature when goosebumps rose on your arms and when your nipples became painfully hard. He never touched you or came too much into your personal space. He always asked for your permission.

Nude modeling was a new experience for you, but you were surprised at how much you liked it. or how much you liked Jeno taking your photos. He sat next to you on the bed when you put on your articles of clothing and panned through several shots to satisfy your curiosity.

Leaning close, your head ducked to see the photos. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw just the first few. “Is that really me?” The pictures made you feel an abundance of emotions, you felt what they reflected. Sadness, melancholy, happiness, confidence. You didn’t know images had that much power to make you feel that, especially photos of you.

Jeno nodded, smiling so wide that his eyes turned to moon crescents. He was so in love with the results. He found respect for Taemin’s craft and he was right, he might’ve found a new forte to experiment with. “I can send you the photos digitally too, if you want them.”

“Maybe I’ll print them out, frame them, and gift it to every horrid man who has tried to flirt their way to my body since they want to see it so fucking bad.”

Jeno peered over and saw the tiny glimpse of pain in your orbs, “why would you give horrible people what they want?”

“So they can finally shut up and leave me alone. Plus, this is art and if I tell them it’s actually me, maybe it’ll change their minds to start treating me like it.”

He held his palm up and almost immediately, your fingers filled the spaces between his. “I’m going to need you to start treating yourself as fine art.”

“Keep taking more photos of me and I just might start thinking I’m Mona Lisa.” Your laughters blended nicely into each other. There was mutual mental acknowledgement of the happiness you were both feeling.

Jeno never let go of your hand, and there was a short moment of comforting silence where you two sat in each other’s existence. You were the one to break it, “are you doing anything after this?”

He shook his head. “Well then, you’re mine for the rest of the night. We’re going to pretend we’ve been close friends since first year and eat take-out on my bed because that’s what I need at the moment.”

“I know you respect my body and see this as an art form, but I’m genuinely surprised that you didn’t feel aroused at the slightest.”

Jeno didn’t even realize how much time had already passed being you. You two ate and chatted as if you’ve known each other forever, as if the friendship wasn’t established several hours ago. It felt safe and right, like you two belonged in each other’s existence and nowhere else mattered.

He felt warm inside from your hearty laughter and courage, like he was watching a painting come to life or a photo in movement. You were smitten over how endearing and complex he was. He was more than what meets the eye and that alone drew you towards him.

“Okay, I’ll admit,” Jeno paused to watch your reaction, “in the most respectable way, I was somewhat turned on. But! Before you trail blaze me for being just like every disgusting male in your life, I genuinely didn’t have any sexual thoughts during the photoshoot. That was all professional and it will continue to be like that.”

Getting up from your bed, your mind was working at lightspeed to process his confession. Jeno was fast to pick up someone’s personality, what stood out and what was kept hidden. He knew quicker than anyone else that you were not someone to offend because you were a strong, straight forward woman.

His personality breakdown went like this: you knew what you like, you knew you were going to get what you want, you enjoyed flirty banter (with people of your choice), you weren’t afraid to be blunt, or kick someone’s ass. You carried yourself with confidence that graced your every step, which makes anyone attracted to you instantly. Bold, confident, sexy had to be what came to mind whenever he thought about you.

Nonetheless, he really liked you as a person. He could pat himself on the back all day long for just approaching you, but he knew the real reason as to how this all happened. It was you saying yes to a stranger’s odd photoshoot. You made him the luckiest man in the world.

“Continue? Are you looking for excuses to keep seeing me?” You smirked and Jeno’s voice grew small.

“I--- uh, well,” there goes the nervous stammering, “I know the conditions were a one time thing, so I understand if you don’t want to do it again.” As the night had progressed, Jeno gradually began to hold eye contact and actually looked at you directly without the help of seeing you through a lens. This was the first time he broke it.

“Hey now, I’m messing with you, Jeno.” He had been sitting on your floor, at the end of your bed. You crawled on your elbows to reach him, and to hold his chin to face you again. Deja vu. “I’d love to get naked for you again, and again, and.. as many times as you want me to.”

He stared at you with his mouth hung open in disbelief. His eyes scanned your beautiful face to see your lips pull back into a mischievous smile. Gulping, he swallowed every ounce of courage he had left. “You don’t have to say it like that.” He tried to remove your grip, but it latched onto his hand.

“You’re finally looking me in the eye, sweet thing. I don’t think you realize how much I had been wanting that from you.” You caressed his cheek, rubbing small circles on his texture.

“What else do you want from me?” His implication sounded suggestive, even if his curiosity was innocent.

Your hot breath brushed against Jeno’s lips. “I can show you.”

Jeno, the one and only college guy who has seen your naked body in a non-sexual context. Jeno, the shy, sweet boy who appreciated and recognized you as a form of art. Jeno, the talented and skillful photographer, who consistently made sure you felt comfortable. Jeno, the only person in the world who you’d model nude for. Jeno, the dazzling character behind the camera who you wanted more than anyone else you’ve ever met. Lee Jeno.

He seemed like he was inching closer, already tilting his head to fit your’s. You smiled to yourself, seeing that your words were received well. Diving in, your lips swam together fervently.

The poor boy found himself lost in your enchanting, alluring gaze. He let the trance consume him, selfishly kissing the art he admired so dearly. A small part of him felt the guilt and confusion that began to rise. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wished to feel your lips on his neck, or run his hands across your hot skin. He swore these thoughts were not present earlier.

A small pop! and Jeno held your shoulder to pull away. “I’m sorry, did I do something?” You asked, honestly concerned that you were taking more than you deserved. The least you desired was to hurt Jeno, who had been nothing but nice and sweet.

“(Y/N),” you could listen to your name roll off his tongue all day, “I feel somewhat guilty. I don’t want things to be misunderstood.”

“Which would be?”

“I don’t want you to think I coerced you into being my model just because I had intentions to sleep with you.” Jeno was already gathering his things, but you hopped off your bed and placed a hand on his chest. “Because that’s what it’s starting to look like at the moment.”

“Was that something you did though? Did you have those intentions?” Your stare bore right through him. The warmth of your hand relaxed his racing heart.

“Never, (Y/N), I would never do that to someone.” Your hand traveled down to grab his belongings and tossed it back onto the ground.

He silently watched as you took off your pants, and stood in front of him in your underwear. “Then, we’re fine. I know your intentions have always been pure. But truthfully, Jeno, seeing you focused while you worked sparked something in me. You don’t understand how aroused I got and how badly I wanted you to fuck me on that bed.” His hand trailed up your exposed thighs, finally touching your softness. “You’re the one guy I wanted first, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that.”

“I-- I don’t know what to say.” His cheeks revealed how embarrassed he was, but his dark, lustful eyes were telling a different story.

A smirk fell upon your face, “then don’t say anything.”

Jeno devoured you, inhaling the light hint of vanilla that still lingered. He hoisted you onto your mattress and kissed you like his life depended on it. His antsy hands roamed your free range, exploring, holding, gripping the parts he marveled over. Small moans from the back of your throat encouraged him to continue.

No one has ever kissed you with the amount of passion Jeno did. It was gentle, with enough vigor to cause your panties to dampen. It wasn’t sloppy, where previous guys had a problem of missing your mouth entirely and slobbered your chin.

His lips worshiped you, highlighting your good sides. Flashes of the photoshoot popped into Jeno’s head as he left purple marks on the places he loved capturing the most. He pushed up your shirt, exposing your chest to him again. His tongue circled around your hard nipple as he made sure to give the same amount of attention to each one.

Jeno knew he was too shy to hold your intense stare, but getting to know you during and after the photoshoot, he could see the softness in your gaze. He was, now, able to see all of you. The sight of you through the camera was addicting enough, so finally taking you all in was more than satisfying.

Your hands ran through his hair as he kissed down your torso. His thumbs hooked the waistband of your underwear, and peeled it off your body. You gasped as the cold air from your apartment grazed against your exposed figure.

Jeno paused to admire your glistening pussy, “would it be okay if you let me make love to you?”

Your heart burned, not out of embarrassment, but at how he still managed to ask you for your permission in the sweetest way. You rested your weight on your elbows, “no one has done that before, would it actually make me want to fall in love with you?”

“It wouldn’t be too bad. I have a lot of love to give and you look like a person who deserves all of it anyways.” Jeno’s finger ran over your wet slit and rubbed your clit slowly.

Your moans filled the room as the electric jolted throughout your veins. The wetness grew, seeping out of you like a waterfall. Jeno dropped down to his knees, and lifted your legs on his broad shoulders.

“Are you usually this wet, baby?”

Chuckling, you smiled at his bold choice in using pet names, “Just for you.”

He hummed, chiming at how he liked your answer. Spreading you open, his tongue met with your swollen bud that begged for his licks.

His tongue darted side to side, up and down and in result, your back arched in pleasure and a darkness clouded your mind. His name and mindless profanities streamlined their way out of you as Jeno ate you out in such a precisely delicious way.

Grabbing a fist full of hair, you pulled him closer, even if there was no more space to fill. Looking down, you two exchanged glances before he thrusted a finger into you. Your hips bucked harder as he eased in another one.

Jeno curled his fingers in search of your sweet spot and found it when a deep moan escaped your throat. His fingertips rubbed and pressed into your plush flesh, causing you to practically scream and squirm in his mouth.

He suckled your clit and fingered you simultaneously and quickly. The pleasure was overflowing and you released his hair to grip your sheets below you. Your legs shook and trembled as he had no caution to stop.

“Please, I’m going to--” you could barely talk due to your face contouring to the splurge of pleasure every single time Jeno rubbed your spot. “--to explode.”

He had to take back what he thought earlier in the day. This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever laid eyes on. The whole scene played like from one of his favorite films. It felt like he was giving his photos life. Your body twisted and turned, accentuating the curves of your lines.

Jeno had become painfully hard against the fabric of his jeans, but seeing you fall apart because of his minimal movements exhilarated him. “P-Please, don’t stop.” A breathy moan followed suit and your thighs tried to press themselves together. Jeno didn’t allow it, his free hand hooked underneath your left thigh to pull one side away from his cheeks.

Your high gradually grew so tall that it all eventually came cascading down. Your legs shook violently and sat up from the euphoria that took over you. Jeno prolonged your buzz and you screamed loudly, having to bite down on your fingers to stop yourself from angering your neighbors.

Jeno drank you up, letting your wetness cover his chin and drip down his knuckles. He pulled away, at last, and you took deep breaths to control your heavy breathing. It was like Jeno knocked the wind completely out of you.

He stood up and you saw the outline of his hard bulge straining itself through his jeans. The next scene was quite animalistic. You, still embodying your high, sat on your knees and unzipped his pants with your needy hands.

“Now, it’s your turn to get nude for me.” You whispered, tauntingly. Jeno groaned when you reached down and gently pulled him out. He stepped out of his clothing, all of it. His shirt was lost in the corner and his bottoms were scattered over your floor. Mirroring his actions, you took off your last piece of cloth.

Jeno was built. Though his biceps did not go unnoticed during the photoshoot, you were surprised at the lines of muscle that sketched his body. It made your mouth water, seeing his extremely hard dick stand against his toned abs. His red tip fell just below his navel. Jeno only kept getting better as the night continued on.

Pulling him closer, his hand found their way to the back of your head as you aligned your mouth to the wetness that spilled from his tip. “I want to make you feel good.” Jeno’s hoarse voice made your knees weak.

Peering up, you batted your eyelashes at him fondly. “Just a little taste?” You begged, having to hold his shaft with both of your hands because of his thickness. Your tongue was already stuck out, your hot breath causing the tiniest bit of sensation for him.

He nodded and his eyes were trained on you. He didn’t want to miss any second of your kitty licks. You flattened your tongue against his warmth, dragging it up to the top. The saltiness hit your palette as you swirled around his redness. “Oh--” Jeno threw his head back and bit his lip, “--lay on the bed now.”

You smiled sweetly and gave his member a quick kiss before reaching for a condom in your drawer. Jeno climbed onto your bed and situated the rubber comfortably. You laid on your back and he was fast to pull your legs around his waist.

He lined himself at your entrance and eased his tip in slowly. Squirming, you craved him to fill you up to the brim. He leaned down to kiss you, letting your tongue lap with his. It’s your hands with the mind of their own when they flew automatically to hold his face whenever you wanted to deepen the kiss. Then, Jeno stretched himself all the way in and he caught your gasp with his lips. He groaned, feeling the mess he created merely minutes ago.

His hips moved so easily with your wetness, but he went slow. Dragging out each pull and then, pushing himself back in roughly. “Jeno!” Your body jolted up the bed each time. His body fell over yours to hold you intimately, letting you bury your face into his neck. Your lips latched themselves onto his sensitive skin, painting a purple sunset.

Jeno’s arms snaked underneath your thighs as he pressed them to your chest, folding you almost into a ball. Your mouth hung open as he fucked you harder, rougher, deeper yet keeping the tempo rhythmically slow. At this point, you could feel his hits in your gut. Your weak hands gripped loosely around his strong wrists that held your legs down. “You’re pussy is so tight and holy shit---, you keep getting more beautiful.”

A familiar burning sensation set in your chest as you saw how concentrated his face had become. You were so fucked out that you could barely speak, “you—” his hips mercilessly slammed into you powerfully, enacting a low moan every time he reached your sweet spot. “—keep surprising me.” His actions came to a halt and he stared deeply into your soul.

You whined, wiggling your hips for any friction. He held them down into the mattress, knowing his grip was strong enough to leave a mark. “I told you, I was going to make love to you tonight.”

“I’ve already fallen for you.” You said breathlessly, tracing the side of his face and pecking his lips softly.

“You don’t understand what you’re doing to me by saying those things.” He whispered and pushed his entire shaft to fill you to your brim.

You yelped his name and gripped his shoulders, but he wasn’t done yet. “Show me how badly you wanted me the first time you saw me.” Jeno blinked at you in slight shock.

As he continued to hold the deep gaze, he kept pushing his dick further and further into you. He was balls deep, almost impossible to keep going. He fucked you without the need to pull out, just burying his cock deeper into your wet pussy. You exclaimed, moaned, cussed at every push. Holding the stare was more than enough to lose yourself all over him again.

Jeno was drunk with the image of your fucked out expression and every time the mixture of pleasure and pressure caused your eyebrows to crease and mouth to open release sensual sound. He had been trying his best not to come undone, to fixate another climax for you.

The feeling of you wrapping tighter and tighter around him drove him insane. “Give it to me, please.” Your muffled plead called for his release, but he could feel that you were close to your second.

Jeno sat up on his knees and pulled you into his arms where your thighs fell over his. You groaned at the empty feeling, though it was quickly replaced with a gratifying moan when he inserted himself again. Your arms dangled around his neck, foreheads touching intimately.

The fucking eye contact again, how could you get enough of it? You giggled, amused at how different Jeno was when he eventually opened up. He wrapped his strong arms around your back and thrusted his hips up into you. The way this man made you squirm, scream, and shake were nothing you’ve experienced before.

He smirked, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek when he went rampage on your pussy. “Not laughing now, are you?”

You whined in pleasure, brushing your fallen strands of hair out of his face. “Shut up before I make you.”

“Then I’d rather keep going.” Kissing up his jawline, you lead your way to his pout. His kisses intoxicated you with his passion and madness, like the most intense part of a symphony, or when the bass drops after a long build up in a song.

Jeno sped up, ramming up into your slick pussy over and over again. He even brought your hips down to match him, guiding you down as he went up. The headboard was knocked against the wall, your windows steamed up, cries of pleasure from the both of you created the ambiance, the smell of sex filled your lungs. Jeno reached between your bodies to furiously rub your clit to where it felt almost raw. It all sent you into the clouds, the familiar queasiness settled in your lower half.

Your eyes rolled back and your back arched, having to pull away from the desirous kiss with Jeno. “I’m cumming!” You announced before the tension unraveled, causing you to see absolute white. The second wave was much more uncontrollable, Jeno felt you squeezing radically around his dick as he tried to fuck you faster to prolong the feeling.

Your legs shook around his and your upper body went limp with pleasure. You reached the peak of the mountain and it came crumbling down underneath your toes. It was catastrophically enthralling, to the point where you physically felt something leave your body.

“Oh shit..” Jeno stopped his motions at the sight of you squirting over his lap. He pampered your torso with fluttering kisses, hoping to calm your spastic body. “...baby, are you okay?” He asked with a bit of concern of how lack of life you seemed.

This man just gave you the best climax in your whole life and he asked if you were okay? Regaining your senses, you sighed a small yes to reassure him that he didn’t actually murder you. Hopping off, you pulled the condom that restricted him.

He hissed when you cupped his balls in your palm. “Cum, my sweet thing.” You purred and Jeno’s hand pumped his member aggressively. You leaned in to help, sucking the tip and flicking your tongue over his slit.

His other hand gripped your neck, causing you to drip on your sheets. Jeno was panting and with every tug, it became louder. He seemed so desperate to release that it made you smile to be the reason behind it. “Can you lay down,” A grunt followed his question, “please.” He huffed.

“Because you asked nicely.” Smirking, your back hit the sheets and you opened your legs to give Jeno a view. He situated himself above your stomach, as he fucked his tight grip.

“I’m cumming---” He couldn’t look any more amazing. With a final moan, the white streaks streamed out in short sequences. It landed across your abdomen, over your nipple, and pooled around your belly button.

Bringing himself back to reality, Jeno stepped back to marvel you, his masterpiece. The white streaks coated your purple skin and your chest rose fast to catch your reality. Gazing upon your naked body, he was utterly infatuated with all of you. He was so in love with the sight of you that not a single photo could capture the beauty that you were.

Jeno pondered the thought of how merely a day changed a small part of him. You were life changing, addicting, an incomparable character that he felt like he’s known forever, and now, couldn’t live without. It was the taste of your juices on his lips, your sweet melodic music that was your voice, your daring smile that enticed him to never peel away from you. It was simply you.

He leaned down to rub his knuckles against your cheek, planting a lovingly peck on your forehead. “I’ll go start the water for you.”

Jeno anticipated the reaction of his mentor. He found himself at the same scene he was when he was first given the task. Taemin sat across from him, hunched forward to analyze his new set of photos on his laptop. Raw, unedited photos of you, your body, your details.

The hum of the air conditioning droned on, driving him mad. Jeno needed one reaction, but Taemin had been silent and expressionless for the past ten minutes. Whenever he did move, it was to click through to the next picture.

Suddenly, he shut it closed and stood right up. Jeno, panicked, did the same. Taemin stuck his hand out and Jeno hesitantly grabbed it, incredibly unsettled and unable to read the older man.

Taemin received it firmly, giving Jeno a good handshake. “Welcome abroad, Lee Jeno. I expect even more great things from you.”

Jeno registered his delightful mood switch and he was fast to follow up, “my photos, --- you --- like them?”

Taemin nodded generously, patting Jeno on his shoulder. Taemin reached up to tap his own eyelids. “What you can see, is very special, kid. You’re an artist and I’m here to recognize that for you. It seems to me, you can do more than take pictures of sidewalks.”

Jeno smiled happily, his eyes disappearing from joy. He couldn’t wait to tell you about it.

The rest of the week, leading up to Jeno’s appointment, had felt nothing short of blissful moments together. You and Jeno spent almost every waking minute together without the cost of your friends’ time. He walked you to your classes, some even being across the campus from his own. You accompanied him for meals, even sitting in his lectures to just be with him.

There were no words that established what you two had become to each other. Jeno wasn’t looking for that anyways, in fact, he somewhat liked the ambiguity. If only he could tell you how making love to you made him begin to actually fall for you.

You were never one to hold a serious relationship, but you found a small want for that festering in Jeno. It was hard to admit to yourself, but Jeno saw you for all that you were. He truly saw you, whether it had been through a lens or through his own eyes. He captured your rawness and you were able to find vulnerability around him.

He ran to you, where you sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish his meeting. Peering up from your phone, you noticed the beaming smile on the boy’s face. You couldn’t hold back your own grin, seeing him apparent with so much joy. “I’m guessing good things?”

“I got it, (Y/N)!” He jumped into your arms and you laughed at the sudden affection. “He loved my photos.”

“I didn’t doubt it for one second. You’re an artist, Jeno. You create masterpieces that make even someone like me, feel like art.”

Jeno hugged you closer to his chest, giving you a tiny squeeze. Pulling away to face you, his eyes examined your outstanding grace. You knew what he was already going to say, but simply wanted to hear him say it. “That’s because you are art.”

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smells-like-mettaton · 3 years

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Tali’s Alphys-Centric Fic Rec List

I’ve been meaning to make this for a while!! All fics are oneshots unless marked as a series or with a chapter count. Thanks to everyone who recced several of these to me on my 12am begging-for-alphys-fics post dfdksdl. These aren’t in any particular order. The “notes” section is my commentary about each fic. No fics are based on full AUs (ex. underswap, horrortale, etc). The only endgame Alphys ship included is Alphyne, though most of the fics listed are gen. Hope you can find something you enjoy here!

Extra Credit by FriedCatfish

Rating: G // Word count: 1,206 Summary: Undyne loses track of time watching anime. Set before the events of the game. Notes: Cute Alphyne oneshot! Short and sweet, very nice characterization

world comes pouring through by feralpheonix

Rating: G // Word count: 1,655 Summary: Alphys reunites with some old friends on the way home from taking care of business. Notes: 2nd person Alphys pov but it surprisingly works? A small moment with Alphys, Bratty, and Catty, which I literally NEVER see content for so it was really refreshing!! Takes place at/near the end of the pacifist route.

white lies to the dead by MiniNephthys

Rating: T // Word Count: 580 Summary: Alphys walks through Waterfall, talking to someone who's not there. Notes: Queen Alphys ending; Alphys “talks” to Undyne after she’s been killed. Hits me right in all the emotions ;;

Found Soul by LibraLibrary

Rating: T // Word Count: 1,331 Summary: Self-worth is a slippery, fleeting little devil, and the bastard flower that killed you isn't helping. Takes place during the final fight of the True Pacifist run, following Alphys from one purgatory to the next. Notes: Very angsty, definitely make sure you’re ready to handle Alphys’s suicidal thoughts, but a very good read! I love seeing the Lost Soul battle from her POV.

And I Feel Fine by Masu_Trout

Rating: T // Word Count: 1,685 Summary: The fallen human is human is fast approaching The Core, and Mettaton is ready to finally take the stage. Now, if only Alphys would stop worrying so much. Notes: Alphys & Mettaton friendship in the no mercy route, but manages to be surprisingly not depressing. Mettaton POV but definitely still deserves to be here. This fic does a great job of characterizing them both and it’s always great to see Alphys working in her element.

Experimentation by pickledragon

Rating: G // Word Count: 1,531 Summary: Alphys is, above all, a scientist. She may watch anime with religious fervor and make horrible Undernet shitposts in her free time, but she is good at her job. She knows what they say about her, behind her back. But when she stands there, time open before her, she resolves to collect data. Each experiment, intentional or not, brings new opportunities to change certain variables and observe others. Alphys is a scientist, after all. Notes: THIS FIC. it’s technically part of a series but it stands on its own (it’s the only one i’ve read by this author). EXCELLENT alphys characterization and writing style. Some Sans & Alphys friendship too which is always stellar. If you didn’t gather from the summary, it’s an alphys starts to remember resets fic.

Memory by Ash_yeet

Rating: T // Word Count: 19,962 // Chapters: 5/20 Summary: It's been two years since monsterkind have joined the humans on the surface, and Alphys is happier than she's ever been. But things can't stay great forever. She starts having nightmares, lapses in memory, flashbacks to things that have never happened. She hopes it will pass... sans is doing his best to adjust to life. When Alphys reaches out to him about her nightmares, he doesn't expect much. He quickly changes his tune. Someone is trying to come back. And they aren't what they used to be.sans and Alphys are trying to move on. But there's one thing they forgot: No matter how hard you try, you can't run from your past. Notes: I’ve only read chapter one so far, but it’s been really good! Looks like it’s going to involve Gaster in some way. Says it’s on short hiatus but was updated in April so doesn’t look abandoned.

Hot and Cold Blooded (Alphyne series) by perniciousLizard

Rating: varies by fic, usually G but a few T and one E // Word count: 36,516 // Works: 18/18 Summary: This series is a place to put all my Alphys/Undyne stories that aren't part of another series. Notes: this series has something for everyone; you can pick and choose which works to read. Most are feel-good fluff and humor, some hurt/comfort too. Some connect to the author’s Sansby series (which i also can’t recommend enough)

When Life Hands You Enantiomers by Kaesa

Rating: T // Word Count: 2,739 Summary: Alphys has a half-finished tile maze puzzle, reams of useless data, and a bunch of piranhas that can't tell the difference between lemon and orange scent. Sans has donuts. Notes: ONE OF MY VERY FAVORITES. Fun puns, science, alphys & sans friendship, piranhas, the opportunity to actually understand organic chemistry references,, it’s so good and fun

Friendshipping by AyuOhseki

Rating: G // Word Count: 4,564 Summary: Sans finds Alphys's secret Sans/Grillby RPF. This won't get weird or awkward or anything, we're sure. Notes: Hilarious Alphys narration, great characterization, it’s just so silly and warms my heart. I love terrible fanfic writer Alphys

social links by simplycarryon

Rating: G // Word Count: 2,525 Summary: Friendship's pretty neat, or so your video games and anime dictate. But you are not an anime protagonist, and you're not sure you know what friendship is any more. Notes: more solid sans & alphys friendship :D

See You Another Time by decamarks

Rating: T // Word Count: 18,500 // Chapters: 1/14 Summary: “Have you ever thought of a world where everything is exactly the same... Except you don’t exist? Everything functions perfectly without you.” Alphys spent a lot of time thinking about what it’d be like to start over. It wasn’t fair for someone like her to escape consequences. She knew that, yet the thought never left her mind—the thought that maybe, just maybe, she could get another chance; that she could abandon her life, her failures—everything—and start anew. But that would never happen. Sometimes, Alphys wondered. Would the world be better off without her? When unexplainable anomalies appear and begin to warp the world around her, Alphys discovers something she was never meant to know: the identity of the former Royal Scientist, and how he met his demise. Doctor W.D. Gaster vanished without a trace; he was erased from reality after an experiment ended in disgrace. Forgotten by the world, shattered across time and space—it’s like he never existed in the first place.And Alphys can’t imagine a better fate. Notes: This is a monster of a first chapter but definitely worth the read!! So much good stuff happening already. I’m a total wuss but I still love the cosmic/existential horror bits going on so far. Great Sans & alphys friendship and Undyne & alphys friendship so far. All the amalgamates also feel incredibly well written. Can’t wait to see more of this one

(And here are a few of my own Alphys-centric fics as well)

Seventh Time’s the Charm by Taliax

Rating: G // Word Count: 1,519 // Chapters: 1/7 Summary: Six bad "dates" Alphys has been on, plus one that is actually pretty good. Notes: Alphys is my favorite and I love giving her a bad time. First chapter is a “date” she has with Sans. Next chapter which I have in progress is going to be Papyrus. (Alphyne is still endgame of course.) Set mostly before the events tof the game. Get ready for lots of second-hand embarrassment sdlfkjds

Support Character by Taliax

Rating: T // Word Count: 1,814 Summary: If Sans is determined to fight the human, Alphys is going to make sure he's prepared. Notes: Sans & Alphys no mercy route friendship, based on the headcanon that Alphys was the one to give Sans the powers/magic he uses to fight the human.

it's your best life (if it's the life that you're living right now) by Taliax

Rating: T // Word Count: 4,046 Summary: Through messages saved to Sans's phone, Queen Alphys gets a glimpse at lives that might have been. With so many possibilities... how did this timeline go so wrong? Notes: Sans & Alphys friendship, Queen Alphys ending, mostly angst/hurt/comfort. I’m really proud of this one and it uses my main headcanon for how Sans knows about resets.

The Trans-Underground Alphys-Carrying, Match-Making Road Trip by Taliax

Rating: G // Word Count: 5,713 Summary: From her secret security camera, Alphys gets too invested in Sans's relationship with the voice behind the door. This wouldn't be a problem if Mettaton didn't decide to take her ship into his own hands. Trying to catch up with a battery-powered robot is hard work, but telling the truth is even harder. Notes: This is a really silly fic with some hurt/comfort sprinkled in. Has some Soriel and Papyton in the background. Has some Alphys & Papyrus friendship as well which is always underrated in my opinion.

#alphys #fic rec list #tali rambles #safeutdr #undertale #long post

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citowon · 3 years

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spring troupe and gender neutral s/o watch horror movies

about time i finally write for this blog... i was hit with the image of masumi watching a horror movie with his s/o, thought how lovely it would be if there was content of that, then realized i have that power now

word count: 1,935

tags: established relationship, non-detailed mentions of horror themes (gore, monsters, etc)

sakuya sakuma

🌸 when the topic of a horror movie date first comes up, he’s a bit scared. he’s only seen a couple, one of which was for mankai play research.

🌸 when it’s actually showing, though, he’s pretty calm! the anticipation was the worst part, and he somehow doesn’t get scared even during the most terrifying movie of the year. he’s great at reminding himself it’s just fictional in the end

🌸 vampires? not scary. aliens? he thinks they’re cute! gore? well, yeah, it’s unnerving at first but it’s all fake, and once he reminds himself of that he’s fine

🌸 he gets scared at the littlest things though. there might be a continuity error where a knife is in its holder on the counter in one shot and then removed the next, and no one in the movie acknowledges it nor is it supposed to mean anything but he can and will psych himself out thinking about just what moved it

🌸 king of predicting plot twists! he might be very good at spotting continuity errors, but he’s even better at picking out little bits of foreshadowing and putting together the mystery

🌸 gets spooked the most by jumpscares. every time he squeaks a bit (on really bad ones he might scream) and every time he always does the same embarrassed sigh afterwards and goes to squeeze your hand to calm himself

🌸 psychological horror is definitely the best pick for sakuya. he thinks a lot about what’ll happen next in the movie and loves to discuss about movies with you regardless of the genre, so with thought-provoking psychological films it fits him like a glove

🌸 and hey, if things ever get too intense he loves b-list horror movies! he thinks the bad acting is endearing and always finds something to compliment even with the trashiest, corniest flick

🌸 if you ever get uncomfortable, he might commentate in the movie and try to poke fun at it- i mean, the killer clown is kind of funny! look how bright and colorful it is compared to the rest of the set! he keeps his voice light and sunny so you have something comforting to concentrate on

masumi usui

🎧 he loves the idea of horror night. cuddling with you, holding you protectively as the suspense rises, stealing kisses to distract you from the monster and erase your fear...

🎧 he’s only seen a few horror movies in his life, less than the fingers he has on one hand, but whatever. it’s a movie. it’s not real. if he got too immersed he could just tell himself it’s fake and be done with it.

🎧 spoiler alert: he didn’t.

🎧 masumi did not, and i repeat, did NOT expect to get so invested??? even if you’re scared, he’s definitely the most terrified

🎧 that’s not to say he’ll show it. he’s doing everything to keep a neutral face, and you’ll probably assume he’s holding to you tighter during the scary parts like he’s protecting you.

🎧 (it’s actually because you’re the one [1] thing grounding him. you’re protecting him, not the other way around! in hindsight, he likes being cared for even when he thought he’d be the one spoiling you, not the other way around. he just wishes it didn’t have to be during such a scary movie, that’s all)

🎧 will take his fear to the grave... unless you ask him directly about it. please hold him and tell him the monsters aren’t real, even though he’s a heavy sleeper he will stay up until 3 am, his mind reminding him how creepy the movie was every time he’s about to drift off

🎧 so does not fuck with ghosts, if he didn’t believe in them before he certainly does now. the poor guy looks up how to ward away spirits and ends up carrying around a salt packet on him for the next two weeks

tsuzuru minagi

📖 tsuzuru’s not exactly a horror fan. he claims it’s brainless and pointless

📖 (admittedly he’s a little scared of them, but he still thinks they’re dependent on shock alone, and have zero rewatch value since the writing is more focused on in-the-moment spooks than actual plot.)

📖 he’ll roll his eyes and tease you a little but eventually he’ll go along with watching a horror movie

📖 to psych himself out of his fear tsuzuru decides to watch them critically and note what plot points to do (or more likely not to do) for future plays

📖 this works out for the beginning but by the middle of the movie he’s enraptured. he can’t tell if it’s actually good or if it’s a car wreck he can’t help but watch

📖 does the corny move where he yawns and wraps an arm around you, and you’d almost buy it from his earlier cynicism but then the killer shows their face and he tenses up like hell and you just know

📖 gets embarrassed every time he’s scared- he even turns pink, and gets even redder if you try to hold his hand or cuddle him closer (even though there’s nothing he’d want more after something that creepy)

📖 by the end he’s got a few new ideas that might go to autumn or winter troupe’s latest plays, and admits okay, fine, maybe horror isn’t so pointless after all

itaru chigasaki

🎮 screw movies, you’re playing horror games instead!

🎮 most of itaru’s horror games are single-player, so one of you takes the controller while the other sits next to the player, but itaru’ll drape his arms around you from behind in a back hug the entire time you play

🎮 he doesn’t really shut up. the entire time, he’s either cracking a joke or trying to freak you out more, if only so he doesn’t get in his head and overthink the creepy atmosphere

🎮 asshole only quiets down when the game gets tense, and then suddenly puts his hands around your shoulders or neck to scare you. regardless if you fall for it or not, he always laughs at himself and just-so-happens to break the tension as a scary cutscene plays

🎮 still commentates when he’s the player, but gasps or jumps even at small atmospheric scares

🎮 itaru definitely overthinks the game. he gets super cautious over tiny details and makes the missions way harder than they should be since he keeps overestimating the enemy line of sight and how noisy the avatar is

🎮 if you happen to be playing a co-op horror it’s a constant “no u” battle over who should do the scariest tasks

🎮 “reader, we need to cleanse the room next. you should do it” “no, you should do it. you have the quartz item remember” “i can give it to you since you have the ghost ward” “the ghost ward doesn’t apply to this quest, besides, you’re better at this ghost attack quick time event than me” “no it does, and you’re more optimized” “i can just give the items to you-“ “no you should do it” “no you” “no you” “no you” “no y-”

🎮 you both lose

citron

🍋 citron loves horror movies! he thinks they’re... comforting?

🍋 turns out he’s only seen movies about cursed dolls and b-horror, which explains a lot- he loves dolls too much to be scared by them and he thinks b-list horror is hilarious- but he’ll still proudly proclaim he’s unflappable and swear to protect you from the bad guys

🍋 when you’re actually watching the movie you can’t tell if he’s faking his reactions or not. he’s very noisy

🍋 he gets scared enough during the gruesome and horrific scenes to hold you close and tight like a teddy bear, and during the worst of it he might muffle a scream by diving into the crook of your neck, obscuring his vision until the scene changes

🍋 and yet, he laughs at the next scene’s unrealism, and manages to poke enough fun at the movie that you giggle and his terror disappears, he loves your laugh way more than he can be afraid of monsters

🍋 can’t do gore for the life of him, but when it comes to the actual plot, he’s rather critical of characters acting dumb. he catches on to nonsensical writing quick, but usually asks you to clarify the plot holes before realizing that he found a loophole in the writing

🍋 whenever you’re scared and not even his goofy reactions and commentary can help, he plants a sweet kiss on your cheek, strokes your hair, and holds you close to his chest until the fear goes away. he’s surprisingly good at protecting you from the movie

🍋 after the movie he’ll say his country has a similar legend to the movie monsters, but he claims the legends are true in zafra, and zafrans have a very specific tradition to prevent the monsters from attacking them

🍋 the movie also gave citron the idea of creepily standing behind you silently until you turn around and get startled, or occasionally chanting in a strange, cultish language and pretending he didn’t say a thing, or making a doll with the same markings as the clown puppet from the movie...

🍋 citron continues to be even scarier than the actual horror movie, but can’t wait until the next horror night! maybe watching it was a bad idea after all...

chikage utsuki

🌙 chikage just doesn’t get the appeal of horror. it’s just a fake movie, why do people get so creeped out by terrible sfx and unrealistic monsters?

🌙 he’s seen scarier things than any werewolf pack, zombie outbreak, or witch coven can throw at him. if you insist on watching a scary movie, fine, he’ll be happy to let you sit on his lap, just don’t expect to creep him out as well, or else you’ll be sorely disappointed.

🌙 he analyzes the movie more than he watches it, but doesn’t speak up even though the fight scenes look pitiful. if this were real life, he’d sweep the whole brood of shambling monstrosities in record time and be back home in time for izumi’s curry

🌙 chikage runs his hands under your shirt whenever the monster’s on screen to scare you. it’s actually really creepy- his fingers are light and quick and always makes you flinch, even if you know it’s just your boyfriend

🌙 he’ll listen to your thoughts about the movie, but doesn’t have strong opinions himself. he thinks the scares are mediocre at best, even without considering his background, but won’t mention how unrealistic it was unless you mention it first.

🌙 psychological horror, however, is a whole different story

🌙 maybe chikage can’t get scared by generic spirit halloween monsters but once you introduce thought-provoking plot, questions and dilemmas, now he’s hooked

🌙 he really likes wondering if the protagonist is actually the good guy and making theories about the origins of the monsters and why they’re so destructive, even if he forgets about them once the movie’s over.

🌙 love love looooves the “the monsters were harmless creatures before humans dished out the first blow” trope. he knows how common it is, but there’s a lot of ways to go about it, especially on a subtextual level, and he just can’t get enough

🌙 the deeper the plot is, expect a longer conversation about the ins and outs of it. they get surprisingly thoughtful and introspective, even if chikage throws in a few bullshit stories related to the movie just to watch you squirm

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thebookreader12345 · 4 years

Text

Closer Than Most

Pairing: Jesse Lee Soffer x reader

Summary: Y/N and Jesse have been getting close off set, and when the writers create a storyline where you and Adam hook up, Jesse gets a little jealous

Requested: Yes, by anonymous

Warnings: mentions of death and a light make out session

Word Count: 1,472 Words

Note: Y/CN means your characters name

Jesse and I were lounging around in my apartment, eating pizza while the TV played in the background. It was one of those nights where we got off early, so we decided to hang out after work. My back was resting against the arm rest of the couch, and I had my knees pulled up to my chest.

“How was your day? Any interesting scenes?” Jesse questioned as I reached for a piece of pizza.

“Uh, not really. Paddy and I were just finishing up some scenes we had to film,” I answer. “It was weird though, not being able to film anything with you.”

Jesse smiled. “Well, we’ve got a table read tomorrow, so I’ll see you then, and I’m sure we’ll have plenty of scenes together to shoot for the next episode.”

“Hopefully. Don’t get me wrong, I love working with Paddy. We always goof off and have a good time. But working with you just feels different. In a good way of course,” I clarify, a light blush creeping up my cheeks.

“I feel the same when working with you,” Jesse admitted and looked down at his watch. “It’s getting late. I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“All right,” I mutter and stand up, giving my co-star a big hug. “See you tomorrow, Jess.” The next day, things were pretty chill. The table read was in the afternoon, and we weren’t filming until tomorrow, so I had a bit of relaxing time. Once it was time for me to get to work, I climbed into my car and headed to set. I always enjoyed table reads because we got to see what the next episode was about, and it was really fun trying to figure out how to play the role of your character at certain times. When I got to set, I took my seat next to Jesse at the table, and after the rest of our co-stars arrived, we began to read the script.

This episode was going to be interesting because Y/CN was going through some tough times at the moment. She was also keeping her feelings in from the rest of the team. As we read through the script, I was getting really invested in the plot. It looked like this was going to be an amazing episode. And then we got to the last few pages of the script. The whole team was at Molly’s celebrating a case well done, and Y/CN was not in the mood to celebrate. Adam notices her mood is down, so he offers to take her home, to which she agrees. When they leave the bar, Y/CN breaks down and tells Adam everything she has been feeling. After she spills what she’s been feeling, Adam puts in his opinion to try to make her feel better, and it does, so she leans in and kisses him. However, she pulls away embarrassed and apologizes, but Adam ignores her and kisses her again. Adam then suggests they should take this elsewhere, and the screen flashes to Y/CN’s apartment, where Adam and Y/CN are making out in bed. That’s where the episode ends.

“Well, I did not expect that,” Adam announced. “But it sounds like it’ll be fun. I can’t wait to shoot that ending scene.”

“Yeah,” I agree. “Me too.” From beside me, Jesse was silent. Usually he’d be talking about everything he found interesting about the script, but not today. Something was up. The next few days, we began filming the episode, and things were good, except for the fact that Jesse and I were barely talking. It was really weird because him and I were the closest out of the whole cast.

“Hey. Is there something up with you and Jesse?” Tracy asked me. “You guys haven’t been talking lately.”

“I don’t know,” I confess. “He’s been like this ever since the table read.”

“Maybe it’s because of the scene you have to do with Paddy later,” Tracy suggested.

“What are you talking about?” I question.

“I think he’s jealous, Y/N. I mean, you told me that you guys have been getting really close off set,” Tracy stated.

I sighed. “Maybe you’re right, but what am I supposed to do? Ask the writers to change the scene? It’s apart of the story. Look, I’ll shoot the scene, and right after that I’ll talk to Jesse. We’ll figure things out. We always do.” That night, the whole cast was gathered in Molly’s, and we were getting ready to perform the scene.

“Action!” someone shouted.

Script... (In this part, you will be your character)

The whole team and I were gathered in Molly’s to celebrate us solving a tough case. Everyone was having a great time except for me. My life was falling apart at the moment. My brother had just died overseas where he was fighting in Afghanistan, and he was everything to me. Growing up, we were really close. He was always there for me when I needed him. And now that he was gone, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t tell the team because I didn’t want them to feel bad for me and drop everything to make sure that I was okay. I thought I could mask my feelings from everyone, but Adam caught onto my act.

“You feeling okay?” Adam questioned.

I shrugged. “I’m just a bit tired I guess.”

“All right, well, let me take you home. You look like you need some rest,” Adam spoke.

“Okay,” I mumble and stand up, swinging my jacket over my shoulders. “I’ll see you guys later.” Adam and I then walked out of the bar, and when we got outside, Adam stopped in his tracks.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on?” Adam questioned.

“Nothing’s going on. I’m fine,” I lie.

“Y/CN, this whole case, you haven’t been acting like yourself. Something is up. Tell me what’s going on,” Adam ordered lightly. That’s when I broke down, and tears started falling from my eyes. Adam pulled me to his chest and let me sob, rubbing his hand up and down my back to calm me down. As I cried, I told Adam what had happened, and he just listened. Once I finished my story, I looked up at Adam, and something inside me just clicked. So, I reached up and pressed my lips to his. But after a second, embarrassment took over, so I pulled away.

“I’m so sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, it’s okay,” Adam assured me. “I’m kind of glad you did.” And with that, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine again.”

End of Script...

The cameras shut off, and Paddy and I pulled apart. Smiles were found on both of our faces, and the crew standing around us clapped.

“I think that was our shot,” I exclaim.

“Me too. Great job,” Paddy told me.

“Thanks. You too. Uh, I’ll meet you at the next set. I’ve got to talk to Jesse for a moment,” I say.

“Right. I hope you guys fix whatever is going on between you two,” Paddy admitted. We then went our separate ways, and I headed back into Molly’s where I found Jesse and Tracy talking. When Tracy spotted me, she excused herself, leaving Jesse and I alone.

“Can we talk?” I ask Jesse.

“Sure,” Jesse replied. “What’s up?”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been ignoring me this week. I just wanted to know why. And don’t even say you haven’t been ignoring me because you have and everyone else knows it,” I state.

Jesse sighed. “I didn’t mean to ignore you. I just, after hearing that you were going to have to do a romance scene with Paddy, I got a little jealous. We’ve been getting so close off set, and I guess I just wanted you all to myself.”

I smiled. “I think there’s meant to be a question in there.”

Jesse laughed. “Y/N, would you want to go on a date with me sometime?”

“I would love to, Jess,” I respond and pull him in for a hug. “I’m glad you finally asked.”

“You filming any more scenes today?” Jesse asked me.

“Uh, yeah. I’ve got one more scene with Paddy tonight, but I don’t think it should take that long,” I note.

“Right. Another romance scene,” Jesse said, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“Don’t worry, Jess. I don’t think I’m going to gain feelings for Paddy any time soon. At the moment, I’m focused on you. Look, I don’t think the next scene should take too long, which means if you want to hang out tonight, I’m down.” I confess.

“Just us two?” Jesse questioned.

“Just us two,” I clarify.

Jesse grinned. “I would love that. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah. See you later,” I say.

________________________

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baixueagain · 3 years

Text

The Gendo & Rei Question, Part III

For the Intro and Part I, go here.

For Part II, go here.

Part III: The Gaze of the Prodigal Son

Both Rei I and Rei III are “alive” for only a short period, and it is Rei II—the clone active from roughly 2014 through most of 2015—that we as the audience get to know the best. This is also the clone that has the most developed and complex relationship with Gendo, and we learn most of what we know about how Gendo views Rei as a whole from his behaviour with Rei II.

Rei II and Gendo’s relationship during 2014-15—especially how they feel about it for themselves—is nevertheless one of the more difficult relationships to understand, since they’re two of the most mysterious characters in Evangelion. We rarely get glimpses into Rei’s point of view, and Gendo only truly speaks about his own emotional and psychological state in the final moments of his life during EoE. Even then, he only speaks of his feelings about Yui and Shinji, not Rei. In fact, he virtually never speaks to others about Rei unless he is talking about her involvement with piloting or the HIP. We only get a few glimpses of their direct interactions, and while these are highly charged with multiple layers of innuendo, those same layers of innuendo make the situation all the more opaque.

One of the best perspectives we have on Gendo and Rei’s relationship, I argue, comes from Shinji. Granted, he’s the main character and most of the story of Evangelion is told from his point of view, but his perception of Gendo and Rei is just as valuable for another reason: he’s an outsider. NERV is by its very nature a place of secrecy and high strangeness, and it stands to reason that most of the people working there have long since become desensitized to their Commander’s odd personality quirks and the strange, solemn girl serving as his first pilot. Even Misato, who has only just recently started working in Tokyo-3 proper, has been in NERV/Gehirn’s general orbit since her childhood and thus seems fairly used to Gendo Ikari’s personality and the odd way things are done under his supervision. But now we have Shinji in the picture, who’s had minimal contact with his father and who has spent most of his life in the “normal” world, sequestered from the truth of the family business. His perspective is that of the everyman, and he is thus primed to see the unusual parts of NERV that other characters take for granted. Moreover, unlike virtually everyone else at NERV (except for Ritsuko, whose perspective I will be addressing in the future), he is uniquely invested in both Gendo and Rei as people: Gendo being his estranged father, and Rei being his co-pilot and thus someone with whom he feels a sense of camaraderie (even if he barely knows her).

Shinji arrives at NERV shortly after Rei has a serious accident—one that he does not yet know about. His first-ever interaction with Rei happens in tandem with his first interaction with Gendo in years, and this consists of Gendo dangling a wounded, crying girl over Shinji’s head to manipulate him into piloting Unit-01. It is a brutal, cruel tactic, and Shinji seems to recognize this for exactly what it is. He has already accused Gendo of just using him (something to which Gendo openly admits); from his perspective, it at first seems that his father cares just as little for the poor young woman on the gurney who can barely stand, much less pilot.

This viewpoint is only challenged when, unknown to Gendo, Shinji spots the burn scars covering his father’s palms in Episode 5. His reaction to being told the truth—that Gendo freed the wounded Rei from her overheated entry plug bare-handed (a scene I will discuss in later essays)—clearly stuns him after seeing the cold, calculating way Gendo used her condition to manipulate him earlier. “Father did that?” he blurts out. The concept clearly seems unbelievable to him, defying everything he thinks he knows of Gendo being a heartless, cold, selfish man.

Interestingly enough, as Ritsuko describes Gendo’s heroic deed to Shinji, the “camera” momentarily moves outside the limits of Shinji’s perspective and shows us what Gendo is doing at that very moment. He is bare-handed (a rarity for him during the A-plot) and for once he has an open, receptive expression on his face as he examines the Angel’s core in obvious wonder and fascination. His lips almost form an excited little smile and the harsh lines of his face are softened. His naked hands touch the core gently, practically caressing it with just his bare fingertips. Considering Evangelion’s repeated use of hand- and touch-related symbolism, it is likely meant to reflect something of his inner emotional world. This is the first time during the A-plot (that is, the plot following Shinji’s perspective and experiences) in which we see Gendo with his emotional guard down. And it comes at the exact moment Shinji learns of his father’s act of self-sacrificial vulnerability for Rei’s sake.

The idea that his father might allow himself to be hurt for anyone is utterly alien to Shinji, and this in turn is what prompts him to become more curious about Rei. Notably, the next scene is one of immediate contrast: “The burns on his palms are from then,” says Ritsuko, recalling the searing heat of the plug. The shot instantly cuts to a young girl’s body plunging into water. It’s just a small touch, but yet another masterful moment in the way Evangelion uses visual language and careful word choices to create an unspoken discussion on themes. This, we are being told, is going to be an episode about contrasts and subversions. It will also be an episode about sex.

The poolside scene is the first in which Rei is first explicitly treated as a sexual being—at least from others’ points of view. Shinji is teased twice about his interest in Rei, the first time by his friends Toji and Kensuke, both of whom clearly see Rei as a beautiful (if unapproachable and intimidating) girl. The two of them (being high school boys) describe her body in explicitly sexualized terms, much to Shinji’s embarrassment. At the same time, we’re treated to shots of Rei sitting quietly in her bathing suit, oblivious to their chatter. She is small and vulnerable, but her bare skin and curvy form has still been made into something with sexual energy and potential.

Back at NERV HQ after school, Shinji watches Rei without her knowledge, still clearly curious about her. Notably, up until this point he has never seen any emotional expressions from her (unless you count her agony in Episode 1). She has kept her distance entirely, and he realizes that despite working together for at least a couple weeks now, he knows virtually nothing about her. There are no relationships in which he can observe her behaviour with others…except for Gendo.

As he secretly watches within his cockpit, Shinji watches his father approach Rei. Rei suddenly begins acting her age in her body; instead of moving stiffly, she skips and hops eagerly down onto the walkway and begins chatting with Gendo, a cheerful smile on her face and her eyes bright and alert.

What’s even more shocking to Shinji, however, is Gendo: unlike the scene with the angel core, here Shinji can actually witness his father’s change in demeanour for himself. The Gendo that Shinji knows is a stern, unfeeling man whose rare expressions are that of irritation or a cruel smugness. But as Gendo chats with Rei, his eyes are soft, and a happy smile is on his face. His cheeks even look a bit flushed. Just as important is the way they’re both speaking to each other: although we can’t hear them, we can see their body language and their interaction. They are standing face-to-face, gazing into each other’s eyes, each speaking in turn. They are practically interacting like equals.

Is it little wonder that Shinji’s jaw is on the floor?

As always, Anno’s masterful direction creates an unmistakable atmosphere laid across what might otherwise look like a pleasant scene. Shinji’s hidden vantage point, the oblivious radio chatter from the control room, the low single chord of background music, and the fact that we can’t hear a word that Gendo and Rei are saying: all these things contribute to the sensation that we, along with Shinji, have just witnessed something intensely private. Something that neither we nor Shinji were meant to see.

The scene immediately following this is, once again, Shinji being teased for showing an interest in Rei—this time by two attractive older women. Again the pressure to see Rei as a sexual being is mounted, and the additional overtones of a discussion about sex between a teenager and adults is added. This rapid switch back and forth between Shinji learning about the relationship between Gendo and Rei and being repeatedly asked if he’s interested in Rei himself (all the above scenes take place over the course of about ten minutes) creates an uncomfortable dissonance that charges the episode with a confusing, unnerving sexual tension. At the same time, Rei and Gendo are explicitly brought up and compared to one another: both are terribly awkward, we are told, at life in general.

And that’s when the climactic scene of the episode drops on us like a N2, bringing all these interweaving themes to an awkward, disgusting, hilarious, and horrifying head. Shinji goes to Rei’s apartment to drop off her new NERV ID card. Nobody answers the door, which he finds unlocked, so he enters. The room is filthy and spartan; the girl who lives here clearly does not care much about her surroundings or her possessions.

But Shinji is drawn to the room’s one treasure: a pair of broken glasses carefully set on top of Rei’s dresser. We as the audience are let in on a higher degree of discomfort by knowing something Shinji does not: those once belonged to Gendo, who dropped them when he recklessly pried open the plug door to rescue Rei. Gendo is thus made extremely present in the scene to the audience, even if Shinji cannot sense him.

I should note here the significance of Gendo’s glasses as a part of his personality. I have noted before that they are an additional layer that he puts on himself as a means of separating himself from others. Though he used to wear clear lenses, after those break he switches to tinted ones, making his expressions even harder to read and representing the increasingly rapid withdrawal of his personal investment and motivations from the rest of NERV and SEELE. His glasses frequently reflect the light, making it difficult to see his eyes even when he’s wearing the clear lenses. The direction of his gaze is thus frequently hidden, and with it his thoughts, feelings, and motives.

And yet the glasses reflect other things on occasion, too, informing the audience of what Gendo is looking at and what he’s concentrating on. Shots of his face thus have a doubling effect of simultaneously hiding and revealing his gaze: we can see glimpses of what he is gazing at, but only by looking directly at his face and into the glasses which reflect his vantage point. His perspective is simultaneously revealed and hidden.

So as Shinji approaches the broken glasses on Rei’s dresser, his face is reflected in them—something we rarely (perhaps never?) see happen when Gendo is actually wearing them. His gaze on his son is thus simultaneously present and absent, accentuating the deep dichotomies of their relationship.

That’s when Shinji does something that feels even more shocking (almost taboo) from the viewpoint of the audience, based on our prior knowledge: he puts them on. It is an incredibly childish gesture, reminding us once again that he’s nothing more than a curious fourteen-year-old boy, but at the same moment he—in the audience’s eyes—becomes his father (emphasized by their similar physical appearance).

And what is the first thing he sees through his father’s eyes after he turns around and looks behind himself?

It’s Rei, fully naked, staring back at him.

Yet at the same time, his view of Rei is blurred and cracked, reminding us definitively that these are not his glasses.

This, the shot suggests, is not his sight to see. This sight of Rei’s nakedness “belongs” to someone else. Already we are being told exactly what Gendo has seen, how much of it, and that he owns this sight—or at least thinks he does.

The events that follow are on their surface hilarious due to the awkward nature of the situation, but the staging and shots used (for lack of a better word) are a recollection of the scene down in the cage: Shinji has entered in on something that he should not be witnessing, something that is not for him. Rei strides forward to seize the glasses from him, Shinji slips and topples onto her, his tote catches on her dresser drawer and sends bras and panties flying everywhere. He lands on top of her, covered in her private items, in a slapstick missionary position with a hand on her breast—and in showing us this, the introductory focus in the pan is of her own hand clutching the glasses. Gendo’s presence is again invoked, even in this deeply awkward, intimate, and violating moment. He is the third, invisible character in this deeply sexually charged scene.

At the same time, this is the moment where we as an audience begin to see what makes Rei tick. She seems to have no reaction to Shinji seeing her nakedness (leading us, of course, to wonder why), but it is the first moment in which she has a direct emotional reaction to Shinji: anger. But instead of hiding herself, she walks towards him and seizes the glasses away. Shinji walking in on her bathing was not a violation in her eyes, but his wearing his father’s glasses is. Once again, we are given the uncanny message that Rei’s body is treated as a commodity—including by Rei herself. This time, however, we are given an alternative source of her identity. She does not derive her sense of self from her embodiedness, but from something more intangible, represented by the one item in her life treated with reverence: the glasses. She is given her sense of identity through Gendo’s gaze, and it is Shinji’s appropriation of this gaze that she finds violating. Even as Shinji lands on top of her, a hand on her chest, her anger is gone because the issue is resolved: she has the glasses back in her possession and Shinji is no longer invading that space (even as he inadvertently invades other spaces).

Shinji’s next violation provokes an even stronger response. Despite the horrifically awkward event, it has at least broken the ice, and as they travel together to NERV HQ he begins trying to make conversation about their commonality: Eva piloting. This then invokes the silent third party in this entire exchange: Gendo. Rei asks if Shinji has faith in his father’s work, and when he furiously denies it, she turns, looks him square in the eyes, and slaps him hard across the face.

And this, of course, seems odd (even humorous) until one realizes why she perceives this as such an insult: she is his father’s work. An insult to her person is of no consequence in her eyes, but an insult to Gendo is an insult to something far more intrinsic to her identity and her emotional world. Between these two scenes, we have seen just how wrapped up Rei’s sense of identity is in Gendo, and in further essays I will argue that the reverse is true as well. Gendo cannot conceive of Rei as existing outside of himself, her identity is so deeply wrapped up in his own. If he ever did conceive of her as a separate being, he will have lost this ability by time Instrumentality arrives.

Yet at the same time, between all these questions of identity and sexual violation, we see toward the end of the episode that there is a layer that is far more simple and human: Rei takes Gendo’s glasses with her into the entry plug when it’s time for her resynchronization, and she hangs them where she can look at them when she feels afraid.

Because she is, in the end, also a fourteen-year-old who wants someone to make her feel safe.

To be continued in Part IV: Green-Eyed Monsters

Like my meta? Buy me a coffee!

#gendo ikari #rei ayanami #shinji ikari #neon genesis evangelion #nge #meta #bai xue writes

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