#( save. ) it doesnt matter

[hinamie]

don't be fooled i am always thinking abt them

[desire-mona]

the time jumps in i saw the tv glow make me so fucking insane and i can never let it go. 2 years, 8 years, then 20, each jump taking more and more out of owen as we watch him decay into a painstakingly unvariable excuse of a protagonist. no matter how big of a jump in time, we never really feel like we've missed out on anything at all. the only real change we experience is what monotonous, yet colourfully and visually overstimulating job he's trudging through, all to live the unfulfilling life he feels is the most safe. no known ambitions, no known lasting relationships, even the family he says he loves more than anything feels less like a feat, and more like a giant step back in the journey we know he needs to go on.

3 decades pass in the span of an hour and 40 minutes, a speed that would seem overwhelmingly fast, yet we stay tuned into the comfortability of that perpetual survival. we know what's going on, and we dont need to play catch up if there's nothing to catch up on. yet despite that comfortability of knowing where and when owen's stuck, it is killing us to know that the potential of what he could be and experience goes unacknowledged through the painstaking amount of years. and it's made all that much worse when we're forced to remember that the slow death we're watching is all the more real, both literally and figuratively, to owen.

[s0fter-sin]

thinking about price putting his hat on the boys' heads

cw war guilt, self harm through working out

it's only happened once or twice with each of them, only when they're on the brink and safe enough for price to let himself soften

🧼

the first time it happens to soap is on his first demo mission as a corporal; the first time he's been in charge of the planning the rig and the first time he’s close enough to see the human fallout of the explosion he worked so hard on and realises how often it means a slow and messy death

he knows they're the enemy; knows if it wasn't them, it would be him, then the long line of civilians at his back that he stands so strong to protect. he knows that

but that doesn't stop the screaming echoing in his mind, doesn't rid the memory of burning bodies trying to crawl away from their signed deaths

signed by him

he's sitting on the concrete outside the barracks, trying to get the cold to leech the remnants of the fire from his blood that his ice cold shower couldn’t douse. he jumps at the feel of a leg pressing against his side and looks up at price as he leans back against the wall, his hands cupped around a cigarette

soap flinches at the sparks coming from his lighter and looks away, his knees creeping up tighter to his chest

"it gets easier," price rumbles above him, exhaling a long breath and the comforting acrid scent of smoke spills around him

he shifts uneasily and pretends it's not to get closer. "i don't think that makes me feel better, sir,” he admits

"never said it would," he shrugs with the ease of a man who's had this same conversation a hundred times and will have it a hundred more. "just that it does."

soap sniffles then growls at himself, harshly scraping his wrist over his face

a light weight drops on his head and he stifles a gasp as price's hat falls low over his reddened eyes, hiding him from the prying gaze of the world

"you'll be alright, son," he promises and soap's lips tremble. he presses them tight together and follows price's hand as he guides his face into the side of his knee, cupping his jaw and holding him close as he shakes apart

"you'll be alright."

🧢

gaz doesn't crave softness when he messes up; doesn't want forgiveness or assurance. he wants blood; blood shed for blood that shouldn't have been lost

the punching bag is shining by the time price walks into the gym; shining yet also muted where his blood’s had the time to dry and stain, his knuckles torn to shreds

gaz' fist almost slips off the bag and he clicks his tongue. "you gonna keep makin' that a biohazard or do you want to do something actually worthwhile?"

his lip kicks up in a snarl and he sends a glare over his shoulder. "what?"

"think medical's got enough bodies, don't you?" he asks and a dangerous stillness fills the air

gaz shoves off the bag, knuckles dripping onto the mats. "you wanna add one more?"

price quirks an eyebrow, so nonchalant that it just makes him angrier; blood boiling in his veins. "come on, then."

he stalks onto the sparring mats and price barely blinks before he's attacking; throwing wild punches, eyes a hundred miles away

back in beirut

where they had to pull their team out in pieces because gaz missed the suicide bomber launching himself out of the rubble

price dodges each desperate strike, loose and sloppy and nowhere near gaz’ usual level of skill. he doesn't hit back once and gaz' faces twists with each miss, sweat flying off him as his grunts turn into growls, turn into screams as he throws himself at him

price ducks and snatches his hat off his head, slapping it into gaz' face to blind him and drives him back into the mats

he gags as his lungs seize, his air is forced out of him; leaving him to heave harsh breaths that stick in the fabric of the hat. the humid dark closes in on him, forcing him to focus on his breaths so he doesn't throw up or pass out; forcing him to stay within his body instead of drowning in another country

price's hand is heavy behind it, keeping it trapped over his face. "are you done?" he asks, not even breathless

gaz pants, his whole body tingling, and his fingers dig harder into his face

"are you done?" he insists

he swallows dry, suddenly aware of the exhaustion sapping at his limbs, the pain in his hands, the tightness in his throat. "i'm done," he rasps

price relaxes but doesn't remove his hand or push him to get up. they sit on the mats for a while, price's weight and the dark anchoring gaz to the here and now

💀

contrary to popular belief, ghost doesn't hate family days

he doesn't glare at the droves of civilians entering the base, doesn't stand as a spectre of death and grief over the rookies running into the arms of their families on one of the most important days of their career. he doesn't begrudge the safety and love they feel from coddling mothers and embarrassingly proud fathers, from laughing siblings and sticky-fingered children

he remembers his own graduation too well to want to take it from them

he stands in his dress blues through the speeches, his neck gaiter hiding less than he'd like but at ease with the compromise he and price reached. he looks over the tearful family members as name after name gets called, takes careful note of the ones who are clapped for less than the others, and lines up with the other officers as they wait for the tap out

one by one, the graduates get released by their loved ones; no longer standing attention as a recruit but embracing them as a private

just as he's done every year, ghost checked their records to ensure they all had someone coming for them; he's never let a single one stand in the field waiting for someone who will never come. it's rare that his diligence is necessary but he's never let them feel any shame for it; telling them to keep their heads high as he pats their shoulder

he's not needed today and he watches as they're slowly released and disperse, all with a reminder of why they've worked so hard and who they’re here to protect

it's quiet on base that night; soldiers take any chance to celebrate and a graduation is nothing to sneeze at. ghost stands out in the field, out in the gentle quiet. his hands sit folded behind him as he looks up at the stars and he doesn't flinch as a voice sounds behind him

"been a long time since you could be called a rookie," price says, falling into place beside him

ghost hums. "longer for you, i’d say."

he huffs a laugh. "cheeky shite," he snickers. "that hasn't changed; bloody twig of a thing too big for his boots, angry at the world and ready to prove it wrong."

"plenty changed to make up for it," he huffs, his breath disturbing his gaiter

"lot more's stayed the same," price counters and steps in front of him, a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he squares his shoulders

"lieutenant riley," he starts and ghost almost rolls his eyes. "you've shown exemplary courage in the face of adversity, gone above and beyond the call of duty and expressed great leadership in your dedication to your team and the men in your charge. congratulations, soldier; you've earned it."

ghost swallows thickly and refuses to admit to the shine threatening his eyes. "thank you, sir."

price smiles and plucks his hat off his head, placing it on his and pats his head; brushing his thumb over his temple

"come on, son; you've waited long enough."

[mummer]

i knew you once (+details)

[ganondoodle]

in other news, i still hate the 'curse' demise says being seen as a literal thing so widely, like he is somehow powerful enough to bend the world to that cycle and even the gods being helpless against it (unless they want it or even orchestrated it but that option never comes up does it), its never even considered to perhaps not be real, like its a literal law of the zelda world, imo its pretty boring itself and also boring as an explanation for the cycle and most often really only gets used to or talked about to make ganondorf be just a helpless evil guy that is born evilly bc he is cursed and if you took away tha demon juice he would side with hyrule and be good tm (a side effect being that people think he is the actual reincarnation of demise like zelda is supposedly of hylia which also sucks IMO) .... or to make demise some sort of puppet master, which i hate even more no .. no i hate that the most (bc it makes ganondorf a puppet and demise the evil demon master and thus ruins both my favs yippie)

[completeoveranalysis]

[4]

Magic Knight Rayearth accuracy: 100%

This whole scenario is fascinating to me from Sakura's point of view, especially since she retained her memories. I was initially wondering how she'd be feeling being in Hong Kong in particular, but now that I think about it there was nothing about Tsubasa that implied Syaoran was from Hong Kong, so wouldn't know! She doesn't know the Cardcaptor Sakura side of things! She wouldn't know who she's about to meet!

But even that aside I can only imagine what it was like growing up in Japan with her memories from Tsubasa. Knowing she has a life with Syaoran ahead of her but not knowing when that begins. Getting to live a nice and happy life knowing that all the hard part of fighting for the universe is over. And also like, meeting Hikaru and remembering that she had to fight a robot based off of her in Infinity that one time.

Is her father Fujitaka in this world too? Is that weird for her, remembering him as Syaoran's father? Or is it switched in this world and Syaoran has Fujitaka here too? There's just so much AU to explore and I'm sure we'll only get the tiniest taste of it.

[asthedeathoflight]

Coda to my other post because I didn't want to completely derail it but we might not be ready for this conversation as a fandom but ableism is absolutely a contributing factor to the way Armand gets treated and im tired of pretending like it's not. The way autistic people of color get treated in our society is abominable and this fandom is not immune to perpetuating that. So much of how he gets talked about can be chalked up to "well he didn't perform empathy/emotion/regret like I wanted him to." If Armand was as effortlessly personable and correctly emotive as Lestat is we'd be having a different conversation. That's all I'm saying.

[killpetewhite]

is anyone else sick and tired of certain people on this website acting like drawing furry porn makes them woke lmfao

[sidesteppostinghours]

ok. question.

ortega ended up hallucinating sidestep after they "died", but sidestep doesnt know about that. they know it got bad, but never the full extent of how their death affected them. so if your sidestep Did learn, if they found out ortega looked for them in every little piece they could, would that change anything for your sidesteps? would their relationship with ortega be any different?

[s0fter-sin]

codtwt is going off on brainwashed!soap bc of his new warzone skin and it’s making me think of ghost deliberately getting himself captured by makarov bc he knows he’ll be given to his dog to try and break him; knows he won’t be able to resist the irony, the cruelty of being tortured by the teammate he lost

he doesn’t fight; welcomes the chains around his wrists and ankles, welcomes the hands stripping him of his weapons and gear until he's defenceless

he wouldn't use them anyway

when he stalks into the room, the muzzle, the scars, not even the blank hatred or lack of recognition could make him mistake his eyes

that's his johnny

he doesn't flinch as he digs knives into his skin; would never shy away from his kiss even if it's tinged with rusted steel. doesn't swallow his screams; not when he always loved hearing him, when he spent so long coaxing his voice from the grave

frustration joins the anger in johnny's eyes the longer he goes without giving up information

just jokes; dark and puns alike

just advice when he can't get the jumper cables to spark right

ghost's not trying to escape; not trying to barter his return to the 141

he's right where he wants to be

[unironicallytes]

Dear Brother: Ch04 Supplemental Lore - Inactive Duty Siblings

In the setting of Dear Brother, some of the ranks within the Dark Brotherhood have been altered or are wholly new. Below, you will find explanations for those who do not carry out Sacraments. Inactive Duty Siblings mostly remain in the Sanctuary to learn doctrine or provide support to their Active Duty Siblings.

Crowcaller

A Crowcaller is a specialized role responsible for hatching*, training, and caring for the Deep Eyed Crows. Crowcallers are spiritually-sensitive and able to interpret the needs of Void-blessed creatures. They must possess some level of Conjuration training, as they also craft “Crowstones” for their local Speaker and Silencer. These fragile runestones are carefully carved into shale and carried by traveling Claws - rather than keeping a crow on their person throughout their journey, they break a stone to instantly summon one to their position as needed.

In special cases, Crowcallers may be asked to manage alternate courier arrangements.

*No one is entirely sure where the eggs come from.

Providers, Menders, & Healers

These roles actually make up the majority of a typical Sanctuary. Sometimes, these are Siblings whose expertise is something other than combat; other times, these may be Siblings who cannot complete Sacraments for various reasons. Regardless, they are full members of a Sanctuary and Family: they are still given basic defensive training and taught to uphold the Tenets just as those who carry out Sacraments are. A Sanctuary could not function without these necessary Siblings supporting its very foundation.

Providers handle the Sanctuary’s meal-prep and supplies of clean water. Menders are the Sanctuary’s craftspeople, managing the creation and upkeep of weaponry, armor, and art. Healers tend to the physical well-being of others within the Sanctuary, whether that be through the magicka of alchemy and Restoration or through physical means of doctoring.

It's common for these Siblings to hold undercover positions in nearby towns. For example, a Mender might work in a town's forge or tannery, granting them further access to tools and supplies which any given Sanctuary needs but might not have.

Initiate

This is a newly-arrived member of the Family who has proven their commitment to joining. However, they are not yet full members, and are thus disallowed freedom of movement before baptism. To put it bluntly, the Initiate role is used entirely for brainwashing: they are isolated from laity and opposing viewpoints, provided support only through other Family members, and fed a strict diet of Brotherhood doctrine.

If an Initiate resists strongly during this stage, they are killed. The killing of an Initiate is regarded as a failing on the part of the teachers rather than the Initiate themself. Following an incident like this, Family is encouraged to mourn the death as they would for any Sibling and to use it as motivation in future cases.

After an Initiate undergoes their Woeful Baptism, they are welcomed into the Family as an Unblooded Murderer. The quality of their first Sacrament will determine whether they continue training as an Active Duty rank, return to an Inactive Duty role, or a secret third thing (die).

[pupkinpumpkin]

Finishing my DAI playthrough I stopped (bc I got obsessed with Stardew Valley again) and I am once again wishing we could've given the Tranquil mages' skulls a proper burial

[clumsypuppy]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[wackywatchdotcom]

I wonder if Ragatha and Jax are the doomed individuals then based on the theme song. Kaufmo is already gone, and I feel like they might also be on the way out. (Or maybe in some other way, Zooble & gangle & Kinger are the ones who are at least Managing in the circus while Ragatha and Jax seem to be in their own relative self destructive spirals about it?)

ive considered this!!!! i need to think on it....

i do honestly think that its gonna be REALLY hard to predict who abstracts so early in the show (i mean ep 4 sounds far in in relation to 9 eps but i think in terms of any hints for things it can be challenging before reaching the true halfway point- i feel like at least. esp since any possible foreshadowing could also be representing smth other than abstraction!!! its unclear...) but that SAID it does fascinate me and makes me a little concerned for those two HAHA. im assuming its representative of smth else if anything, but i dont think its something we have the information to deduce yet..... though jax and ragatha have been among the most closely associated with something AWFUL happening to them, which Doesnt Bode Well .....

ragatha and jax are definitely the characters who seem most like theyved succumbed to the circus. kinger too, but he has in a both healthy AND unhealthy way (he walks a beautifully thin line i think)- jax and ragatha have both allowed themselves to be a part of the circus, and it calls to mind how gooseworx has described abstraction. that "you get stripped of every bit of individuality you have, and become something completely unrecognizable." and really, that description can be painfully easily applied to jax and ragatha. combined w the theme song thing its a bit concerning...

its notable though that kinger and gangle are both, on paper, the most likely to abstract. kinger is easily scared, has been here a long time, lost his wife, etc. gangle is implied to have almost abstracted in ep 4 (i mean its not confirmed but i feel like the audio cues and visuals are there for a reason- esp since a less abstraction based depiction of self destruction is shown right after, and what would be the point of including both if they were both supposed to convey 'gangle is unhappy and unhealthy?' it would make the sequence w gangle and pomni pointless i feel. and sidenote that it implies that abstraction is not smth the person experiencing it is likely to notice. that theres likely no visual cues for when its abt to happen other than the person seeming unwell)

but that said, jax and ragatha are both unwell in a more progressive way that spirals over a long period of time. where kinger and gangle seem more like theyre just already operating at a lower point than others, jax and ragatha 'have it together' except they obviously dont and have clearly been on some downward spiral for a long, long time. zooble doesnt have the same 'looks like theyd lose it at any moment' but they dont seem to have the same history of self destructiveness by their own coping mechanisms that those two have. it makes jax and ragatha seem more like, if they go further into this spiral, its much, much harder to get them out- putting them at arguably greater risk. gangle and kinger may be more vulnerable on paper, but i think they have an adaptability to emotions that jax and ragatha maybe dont quite have? (for lack of a better description- i could be wording that incorrectly) they havent dug themselves into pits they cant get out of like jax and ragatha have, so to speak- possibly because jax and ragatha HAVE succumbed to the circus so hard

and like i mean maybe im reading too much into things, but i also feel like in writing something that is INCREDIBLY important is what the audience sees first. and what the audience sees first is caines intro, bubble (who i feel like is meant to be less of his own character and mroe a symbolic extension of caine and his building arc and character), and the theme song. which makes me feel like theres a lot more going on in it than it seems- but its hard to fully determine what means what without more context... gangle being the VERY first cast member addressed in the show just feels very interesting then... but maybe her name just worked best to go first lyric wise HAHA

maybe its also worth mentioning that the character im most scared for is zooble though... and its a silly reason. but i feel like of all the Possible Foreshadowing there is, theirs is the most subtle but concerning to Me. and its this:

they keep getting tossed into pits, one of which looking the same as the one used for the cellar. (and their opting out of adventures feels akin to social withdrawal- and closest to how the audience was first clued into kaufmos abstraction. that he didnt show up. buuuut its mostly the holes thing. worth noting that it IS gangle and kinger who are grouped with them and later end up being assigned to go help them)

(if im wrong ill be thrilled and im not like, SUPER concerned. its not a very detailed theory. but im concerned Enough)

[glasspigeons]

Thinking about the **** in nier automata (yall know the one) and how genius it actually was for that word to be left ambiguous bc like

9s is so smart that he can immediately figure out basically anything he sets his mind to but the one thing he can’t pin down or define in any concrete way is his feelings for 2b

And the fact that it doesn’t actually matter what the word is bc the fact that he feels anything for her at ALL is such a source of shame and confusion for him no matter what the feeling is

Im normal

[nenoname]

seeing "i dont think anyone would be so devoted unless theyre romantically interested" and im just. this is literally a show all about platonic love??? oh to destroy amatonormativity....