dreaming in june || eleven
Summary: At the request of an old friend who now happens to be the new Captain America, you move to a place that only vaguely feels peaceful, to secretly protect his best friend. There you meet Bucky Barnes, your next door neighbor, who has also lived countless lives, seen a lot of things, and lost the one he loved. You have more in common than you thought.
Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x (F) POC Enhanced Reader
Based on the Song(s): Heat Waves by Glass Animals ; Coney Island by Taylor Swift and The National
Series / AO3 Link / Playlist
(11/15)
Warnings: blood and gore; blood offerings; demons; cults/religious cults; scary vibes; alcoholism and alcohol abuse; emotional angst; canon-typical violence; enchanted creatures; mention of infertility (if you blink); character ‘death’; descriptions of physical deformities; strong language; blood play (slight); mentions of suicide; fantasy vibes
Word Count: 7,600+
Author’s Note: Lots of shit goes down. Tread lightly lmao. xxMoni
~
“You don’t get to leave me. Not you. This time I’m begging.”
~
Bucky’s pacing.
He’s giving himself a headache with how much he’s moving, but he is physically incapable of sitting down. Nothing has calmed him long enough to think rationally.
Sam, bless him, seems to be the only level-headed one.
Until Druig barged through the front door and demanded to know how the fuck three supers allowed for the kidnapping of his Princess.
“How fucking convenient of you!” Sam growls, pushing at Druig’s hard chest. The Eternal simply looks down at where Sam’s palms had connected. He doesn’t say anything. “The second time she needs you, relied on your intel, you weren’t fucking here!”
A muscle tics in Druig’s jaw.
“We tried to stop that demon,” Sam explains, his face a permanent scowl. “But she cut the webs and basically sacrificed herself.”
“A demon.” The way Druig repeats the word doesn’t reveal anything. He says it casually, as if testing the taste. “Explain the encounter. All of it. In vivid detail.”
“It wasn’t an encounter. It was an attack,” Peter spits.
But Bucky ignores the beef simmering, and spills it all. Every detail. Until his mouth has gone dry and his hands shake.
“And you say the demon referenced Greek mythology?”
“I am this close—” Sam says, pinching his fingers together for emphasis. “This close to fucking decking you.”
Druig casually intertwines his hands behind his back. “Why would you want to do that?”
Sam steps dangerously close. “You heard Buck correctly. From the beginning, you have been ominous and brief. So I’m asking you politely—one more time—to tell us everything you know about this cult, about the blood, and about demons.”
Druig scans Sam from his eyes to his feet. Chin held high, Druig makes a decision.
“Just recently, Makkari informed me about this cult. A cult that began in the 1500s by none other than Rodrigo Graciano, Spanish conquistador who murdered hundreds either with his weapons, disease, or his bare hands. The blood my Princess infused into him made him Immortal—true Immortal. A true Immortal cannot die unless their mind and body are separated entirely or reduced to ash. There is no way to survive decapitation, nor burning into miniscule particles. In popular Salem, he was accused of witchcraft by a fellow follower who did not want to be Made. He burned at the stake. His followers, obviously, did not let the traitor live.”
A history lesson, Bucky thinks. Great.
Druig continues. “There is a flaw. A glitch, if you would like to call it that. The Princess is a true Immortal. Anyone bred from her blood is true. Immortals created by second generation sources, third generation, fourth…” Druig grimaces, looking to the wall instead of their faces. “They do not possess the same healing abilities, the same aging, or the same mutation.”
Simple genetics then. The more a trait, a gene, a specific mutation is passed through a bloodline, the less and less potent it is if it is no longer dominant. You must carry the dominant, and since you have not created literal offspring of your own, you have not passed down the dominant gene through your blood. A natural birth, however—the dominant gene would pass.
Graciano had gotten the recessive.
“The Princess is an Immortal who was born. The cult fanatics are Immortals who were Made. The Princess naturally stopped aging. Her body chose a point, and stuck with it. The followers change whenever they want, whoever they want, like vampires.”
“So with her blood, they can create true Immortals? Without it, they’re…what? Low grade?”
Druig smirks. “Yes, Samuel.”
“Don’t patronize me,” Sam snaps.
Bucky pushes in between the two males who are sizing each other up. He pushes Druig slightly harder, however. “How are we getting her back? How are we stopping these fanatics from hurting her? How do we deal with a fucking demon?”
Druig rubs at his jaw. “You mentioned it called her Persephone? It must be a demon of the Greeks, then. Christian mythology doesn’t have such dramatic demons. Egyptians do, but not like this.”
Peter snorts, “Lucifer literally went against God because he thought he was too pretty.”
“Lucifer was kicked out of Heaven because he grew an individual consciousness.”
Bucky ignores the quips, shaking his head. He continues, “So, if we’re dealing with a demon from Greek mythology, are we dealing with Hades? Does he want her for himself?”
“Hades isn’t evil like that.”
Sam holds up a hand. “Back up. Explain.”
Druig rolls his eyes. “Hades is the ruler of the Underworld. He oversees, like a CEO. He doesn’t do the killing, or the raping, or the torture. Trust me, I’ve been there multiple times when he asked for a change in scenery.”
“Is this what we’re doing? Defending demons?”
“Hades isn’t a demon. He’s a God.”
Sam gives him a blank look, hand on his hip and foot slightly tapping.
Peter interjects, his voice timid but still marked with a playful undertone. “Should we call Thor?”
“He’s Norse.”
Sam whirls on Druig once again. “What fucking difference—”
“I do not know if his skills will function well with a demon from another realm.”
Bucky blankly stares, completely unimpressed. “I hit things. This one shoots webs. This one is a human. I have no idea what you do. We need a literal God.”
It’s true. What the actual fuck were they going to do when faced with that demon again? You, with the most powerful powers of the three of them, seemed helpless. Or maybe you were in shock.
If they are able to come up with a game plan, learn a little bit more about how to take down a demon, then maybe they stand a fighting chance.
If Bucky has to take a fucking ring up a mountain, then so fucking be it.
“Perhaps this is what the cult is expecting,” Druig says. “The demon itself might have studied Norse mythology before preparing to attack. It could be expecting this."
“That motherfucker didn’t look like it reads,” Sam drily says. He shivers from the memory of bloodless lips and void eyes.
Peter cringes. “We’re going in blind, then?”
“You all must be prepared for bloodshed.”
“Great, my favorite.”
Bucky’s got to give it to Peter. The kid is handling this better than he expected.
“I’m serious. The Princess opposed violence many times until it was absolutely necessary. I deem this necessary.”
“These are fanatics,” Sam says, waving a hand as if the fight would be no big deal.
“These are made Immortals who summoned a demon. A dangerous and illegal offense.”
“Illegal?” Bucky asks.
“It’s certainly not a practice that anyone should partake in.”
“Okay, wait. Hold up, hold up!” Peter blows out a breath. “I need a minute.”
“I understand this is a lot to take in—”
“You’ve literally just told us that demons exist. That Gods exist, not just Thor. That our friend is a true Immortal who might very well be what we humans like to call Mother Nature! And I’m starting to piece together that the reason she didn’t forget me is because she is not fully human and her consciousness extends to deeper levels. Does Thor remember me? Did we even ask?”
No. They didn’t.
Sam grumbles, “We’re summoning the God.”
“Better than a demon, I guess.” Druig shrugs.
“Anyone got his number? I—” Peter asks, shrugging like fuck-all.
“I can get in touch with him,” Bucky quietly mumbles. There’s shame etched into that statement—the only times he’s ever gotten in touch with the God was for liquid relief. A meager volume of that hungover desire swims in his stomach, in his mind, on his tongue. He’s breaking—the elastic at its final tug—and if he doesn’t find you by the end of the day, he’s going to drown himself.
“Great! While you do that—” Druig pushes the two folders he’s been holding this whole time into Sam’s chest. “File these for me. Call that lovely assistant of yours.”
Sam glowers at him. He opens the folders and scans. “What are these?”
“You think I haven’t been doing anything?” Druig insists, his face neutral. His words, however, come out wry. “The Princess wasn’t the only one who lost someone that day. We all lost our Prince.”
It’s all signed. Stamped. Official.
“You did all the groundwork. Thanks for flinging the Captain America title around. Really.”
Ari’s remains are to be returned to his only surviving descendants.
His wife.
~
You wake with a lump in your throat and clouds swimming behind your closed eyelids. You groan in discomfort, scrunching your face and wiggling your fingers. The air is cold and the surface you’re on pricks your thighs.
Oh, Hell. You’re in a t-shirt and panties.
Bucky’s t-shirt.
You go to snap your body upward, but the weight of your head is exhausting. Instead, you roll to your side.
One of your legs goes over, dangling from the cliffside. Your stomach swoops—your body goes into fight or flight mode.
You're at the literal cliffside. That fucking demon left you to tip over and take a massive plunge, all for his enjoyment.
You roll the opposite way, now more alert. The sun is out, but just barely. The clouds cover most of it. You can’t tell if it’s morning, afternoon, or mid-day.
Perhaps the several distorted faces staring back at you will have that answer.
You struggle to stand but push through the pain to do so. Lying down is too vulnerable—you can swing your magic better standing.
“Where am I?”
It takes a moment for you to realize that their faces aren’t their own at all. Their masks—masks of all colors and all expressions, extending from the top of the person’s forehead to their chin. You’d compare them to those drama mask expressions—the joyful and the anguished—but that would just ruin theatre as a whole for you.
“Mother Earth.”
You shake your head. “Not my name.”
“No,” the one up front confirms. A male. “Your name is not yours at all anymore, is it?”
He’s the tallest of the group, and with the creepiest mask. Gold, metal horns stick out from the forehead of the mask, completely contradicting the sickly green color of the rest of it. You can’t see his eyes or if his mouth is moving—you simply see the frozen anguished expression.
The trees rumble. Do not try to run! the small voice shouts. They have arrows pointed at you.
You roll your eyes. An arrow wouldn’t kill you. Still, you listen.
“So, this is it? You’re here to drain my blood or what?”
Several of them cock their heads to the left at the same time. A shudder travels up your spine.
There looks to be about thirty people staring back at you. Not one sign of the original demon.
“We must first prove you are the Mother.”
You frown. “Ew. Can’t I just say yes or no and get this over with?”
They don’t laugh. They don’t move. They don’t even seem to acknowledge your voice. Except for the one leering at you. Frozen and calm.
“The universe chose you to be one with the earth. And since me, humans, and all other living beings come from the earth, we come from you.”
You slowly nod. He continues, “For years, we have been trying to find you.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Your blood will heal us. You will lead us.”
“Honestly, it looks like you’re doing fine without me.” Your lip curls as you assess the robes they wear—heavy, thick black robes (or rather, cloaks) that sink to the floor in an extravagant puddle.
This shit is too movie-like. Yet, it’s not the craziest thing you’ve ever seen. It’s just the first time you’re seeing something like this.
Right? You shuffle through your memories at lightning speed.
Yeah, no cult encounters.
What time is it? The sky is a sickly, gray-blue and the sounds of the nearest village are faint. The trees don’t answer you.
Aggravated, the front man stalks toward you. Out of instinct, you step back.
He doesn’t like that.
He grabs your arms and holds you still, the mask boring its hollow eyes into your frightened ones. “We are your disciples. You will heal us.”
“Heal what?”
He hesitates, then abruptly pulls the long sleeves up his forearms.
Spikes grow from his skin. Nasty, dangerously sharp spikes. The flesh around them is bruised and bloody. His veins are a heinous red. It’s like he’s a living rose thorn.
You cup your parted mouth. “Oh my Gods.”
Others step forward and showcase their deformities.
Some have real horns. Others cannot speak. Bones are easily breakable. Claws, or feathers, or bothersome shadows. There’s even one member who is intangible. Your hand goes right through them.
The fact they're all undeniably human is what they share in common. The ones who lack deformities in the face look like any person you’d pass on the street.
And there are literal children. Children. Immortal children. Their age, bizarrely, in nothing but a number. They speak like the grown adults around them.
“Now you see.”
You look up at their leader, brows furrowing. “I wouldn’t know what to do.”
He shakes his head rapidly, his mask still unnerving. “We know what to do. You simply need to offer up your blood.”
A startled laugh rattles your chest. “You literally sent a demon to retrieve me and you want me to help you?” You step away, trying your hardest to not look at the members with more severe disabilities. “Where is it anyway? You cannot let that thing wander through the mortal world without a leash.”
“I have been alive for two hundred years. I am the oldest. If you are worried that we follow Graciano’s ideology, you are mistaken,” the leader explains, ignoring your initial question.
Another laugh. “That would settle me if you people weren’t dressed like this or if you hadn’t sent a fucking demon to terrorize me.”
“Sending the demon was a precaution. We did not know how powerful you would be.”
Your mouth opens for another retort, but someone else from back of the group chimes in with, “I suggested we unleash a pixie messenger instead of the demon.”
“And this whole ordeal has demonstrated that you would not have willingly left with a pixie tour guide.”
“Damn right,” you mumble.
What the actual fuck is going on?
“Mother Earth,” the leader says. “Please help us.”
You piece it together bit by bit.
The cult is a literal cult with freaky attire, unsettling line delivery, and horrible manners. They unleashed a demon because they’re fucking idiots who couldn’t just ask you for help. Are they a cult like those that make the news? Violent, out for blood, and look up to a leader that will ultimately sacrifice them in the end? Or are they merely a group of people who found each other, donned creepy fucking masks for the hell of it, because of their shared life experience?
They are not original, Made Immortals. They are third generation, maybe fourth. You have no idea if they wanted to be Made or if they regret their decision. All you know is that they are horribly deformed and begging you to help them heal.
Which means they must be in awful pain and discomfort.
You’ve lived for hundreds of years. Your bones ache, your skin occasionally dries, and your heart slows from time to time. Yet, your physical appearance is that of someone who finds no need to hide.
Should you trust that they do not follow Graciano’s ideologies? Druig seems to think they still do.
You can’t help the overwhelming feeling that plagues your chest, though. Graciano’s blood runs through their veins. Their maker’s blood runs through their veins.
Your blood runs through their veins.
Children of Mother Earth. The title has you cringing.
“What would helping you entail?”
~
“Okay—” Thor runs a large hand down his face. “I think I’m all caught up now.”
Thor has his hair strung up in a bun. He wears a Guns N Roses t-shirt and regular jeans pants. The God is even wearing leather boots and a belt. Peter stares at him in pure wonder.
Sam rubs his temples, his face drooping from tiredness.
“Do you think you can help us?” Bucky asks.
“I can help you slaughter the cult. I do not know if my lightning will harm the demon.”
“Slaughter makes it sound so…”
“Evil," Sam stresses.
“Put down? Slay? Destroy?"
Peter clears his throat. “Wouldn’t the cult be hard to kill? You know…Considering they’re Immortals?”
Everyone takes a few moments to digest the words.
Bucky grunts, “Are we going to have to decapitate those fuckers?”
Druig snorts. “We don’t actually have to do much. I can control their minds and make them slice into their own throats. They’ll decapitate themselves.”
Sam shudders. “This is…Too fucking vivid. Too heinous. I don’t know if I can do that.”
“What do you expect to do then, Samuel?” Druig demands.
Sam glares at the Eternal. “I’m not letting Peter see that shit. It’s too fucking graphic for an eighteen year old kid.”
“I’ve literally seen the guts of aliens spilled on the floor, so,” Peter says, shrugging.
“Bear with me, kid.”
“Okay,” Bucky sighs. “We locate the group through Druig’s mind reading slash listening thing. Once we have their location, we search for Ace in the—”
Sam tilts his head. “Ace?”
“Yeah.”
It only takes a few seconds for Sam to piece it together. “Like, Acer?”
“Like Acer.”
“What does it symbolize?”
“Peace, because that’s what she’ll fucking need after being kidnapped by a fucking demon.”
“For sure.”
“Can we get back to the main situation?” Druig groans. He hovers near Thor mostly, probably because he’s the only other Immortal-like being in the room. Yet, Thor aims his facial expressions at Peter, who returns them excitedly.
“Right,” Bucky replies. “Thor—if the demon is present, you take care of that motherfucker. Peter, Sam, and I will be responsible for getting Ace out of there safely. Druig, you handle the cult.”
“With pleasure.”
If anyone would have asked Bucky what the hell he thought he would be doing today, this week, this month—it most certainly would have had nothing to do with demons and cults. He thought Hydra was bad with its government corruption, Nazis, and presidential assassinations. At least with Hydra, Bucky was dealing with real-life, flesh and bone human beings. Although, he would argue that Nazis aren’t people. They don’t deserve to be categorized in the human species at all.
Demons and cults, however…That makes his stomach churn and his blood run cold. He doesn’t know how to deal with those things. He’s the goddamn Winter Soldier—a ghost, a spy, a lethal weapon. No amount of bullets, spying, or grenades is going to stop a demon. Or maybe the demon is tangible…
No. Bucky would rather sit that shit out.
God, you must be so scared.
“Where do we put the bodies after we…” Peter inquires.
Thor raises his hand. “I can obliterate them.”
Sam gasps, “Hard no.”
“We have to put them somewhere.”
Bucky cringes as he says, “Ace mentioned that she could…lift roots. So the bodies could be hidden underneath—”
“This is such a fucked up conversation.”
“As if we hadn’t had worse shit happen to us,” Peter argues, rolling his eyes at Sam.
Sam sighs, bowing his head as he rests his hands on hips. Bucky watches him, and sees a little bit of Steve’s mannerisms.
It’s got him grinning, even if all his nerve endings are on edge.
They’ve wasted too much time just calling Thor to Earth. Precious time. You could be hurt, tortured, taken to the fucking Underworld.
Bucky hasn’t felt this way since T’Challa had told him Steve and Sam were coming to Wakanda back in 2018. That impromptu visit resulted in half the world dying.
Bucky reminds himself that you’re strong, stronger than him and damn well stronger than a lot of people he has met. If anyone could survive a demon, it would be you. He doesn’t know how much longer he can stand not knowing.
Not knowing will be the death of him.
He does not know why his luck was shit and he disappeared in 2018.
He does not know why Steve left him so suddenly. It’s not like Bruce destroyed that stupid time machine.
He does not know why you were cursed to live forever, having to watch everyone else around you grow old and wither away.
He does not know why people are evil. From his experience, people are simply born that way. Evil people tend to be evil to the core. A person's environment and experiences are factors, but if they’re willing to change—Are they truly evil?
“When do we suit up?” Thor asks.
“Right now,” Sam answers. He looks at Druig, who nods. “Miles and miles until you find their minds, man. Go for it.”
Druig breathes in slowly, and searches. His eyes glow a bright yellow.
~
“You each get a drop.”
You’re crazy. Absolutely fucking idiotic, to be honest.
But here’s the thing:
They’re already immortal. You found the proof in their heartbeats. They weren’t lying when they said they were only a few centuries old. That would mean that none of them were around when Graciano ruled or when he was executed.
Besides, healing them wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. If they turn out to be evil once they’re healed, then you’ll kill them then. Plain and simple. But you cannot walk away from them when they’re suffering because of some fucker who utilized the “gift” you didn’t know you gave.
They’re already Immortal, you tell yourself. You’re not making them Immortal again.
“As you wish.”
It’s late in the evening and the sun is starting to set. Beautiful hues of blue and orange paint the cliffside and compliment the massive fire they have built and contained. They all stand in a circle, like the fucking cult they are, no matter how often you asked them to get into a single file line.
Like you’re giving out party favors.
Oh, Gods.
One of the nine women of the group gave you their robe so you’re not just parading around in your underwear. You tried not to stare at her moving flesh, almost like fish scales, when she handed it to you.
You glance at the fire, at the knife in your hand, at the human circle. Not even the Cold War felt so eerie.
“If I give you the drop, and nothing changes or something bad starts happening, I will not continue with the others,” you tell their leader. You’re grateful they all removed their masks for this. The man in front of you is in his mid-thirties, or mid-two hundreds really, and frozen in time. His black curls shine in the fire's light, as do his green eyes. He reminds you of every fictional character you've imagined when reading. Young, devastatingly attractive, but his eyes are old. Pained.
He nods. “We trust you.”
Quickly, because you’ll lose your nerve if not, you slice the palm of your left hand. Balking slightly, you look at him with the question you refused to ask earlier.
He nods again, understanding. He takes your mangled hand, looking directly into your eyes, and raises it to his mouth. His tongue peeks out, then lies flat as he swipes from the end of the cut to the top. Shivering, you watch as he laps at your blood like it’s the most desirable dessert.
It’s erotic, and quite unsettling. Drums pound in your ears, possibly the unsteady beat of your heart, as you watch his tongue poke out again. He laps it all up, even if it’s never-ending. Completely greedy.
“Had enough?” The stable delivery of your words elates you.
His eyes rise to meet yours. He wipes the side of his mouth, breathing heavily. “Yes. I apologize.”
“That was more than a drop.”
The confidence he had when he was licking you vanishes a little bit, a shy smile forming instead. “Don’t hold my fault against the others.”
You clear your throat, awkwardly. “Is it really that delicious?”
As quickly as it vanished, his confidence resurfaces. Cocky. “The richest flavor. It makes me want to get on my knees.”
You feel your face grow warm. Turning from him, you walk to the second recipient. Your palm is beginning to heal.
With your face flushed, you force yourself to look back at the leading cultist. “Is it working?”
He’s quiet for a moment, as if he’s trying to dig deep inside himself for the answer. He’s still breathing heavily.
“Take off your cloak,” you instruct. His brow lowers. “Take it off.”
He smirks, strips, and that’s when you see it. His thorns are shrinking, curling then snapping, his veins turning green, red, blue, purple. You watch his face and his arms. The pain flushing his features is unmistakable, but he’s enduring it. Every bit, every thorn submersion, every instance of blood poisoning.
He falls to the ground, a heaving mess. Someone unlinks their hands from the circle to crouch beside him. He clutches at their arms, their face, the ground.
When he falls silent, his body unnaturally still, you worry. All your original worries crowd in the forefront of your brain, screaming, scolding you. You move to fall beside him, but he revives. Breathing in deeply, everything falls into place.
The thorns are gone, replaced by beautiful golden skin and natural freckles. His veins run down their corresponding arms, alongside perfectly placed arteries and tendons and ligaments, shining green and purple.
It worked. It worked, it worked, it worked.
“You’re—”
“I’m me again.” His voice wobbles. “I’m me.”
“I do not know if it’ll last—”
“Mother Earth,” he says urgently. “You made me me again. If I die now, I will die myself. And I am grateful.”
Breathing in, you slice your palm again and hold it out for the next person. They too take more than a drop.
~
The last person, the Intangible, hesitates.
“I cannot do it. I cannot drink or eat. I am Midas without the touch.”
Fuck. You’ve healed each person besides him.
“How do the clothes on your back stay in place?”
He turns away, ashamed. “Maxwell believes it’s because I was gifted them. Something of my own, declared mine.”
You assume Maxwell is their leader.
“So I gift you my blood.”
“As easy as that?”
“We will see.” You slice your hand for the tenth time tonight, barely even wincing. “Tilt your head back.”
You raise your hand in the air, squeezing a fist, as the blood almost slips—
A scream erupts from the circle. You turn around and see a man with a knife in hand, slicing through his own throat. Whipping your arm out, tattooed vines stem from the tips of your fingers to your shoulder and neck. Nearby roots reach up and wrap around the man’s wrist, tugging him down and throwing the knife away. The man gurgles and tries to stop the bleeding himself before two women come to his aid.
Another scream, this one more brutal, and you witness the same thing. Except the woman is about to fling herself into the fire.
You bring the roots up, rumbling the ground and chipping rocks off from the cliffside. They wrap around her waist and hold her down.
“What’s going on?” you yell. You’re preventing two people from hurting themselves, and if others begin doing the same, you don’t know if you’ll stop them all soon enough.
“What—” You cut yourself off when you see a yellow glow emerge from the nearby woods. Dread and relief assault your senses simultaneously. Behind Druig, your friends appear. And they brought along Thor.
Fuck.
“Druig,” you call, resisting his pull. “Stop controlling them!”
The people you’re holding down begin snapping the branches keeping them safe, their own eyes bright yellow.
“Druig! Enough!”
Everyone behind him pauses. Like they’re the only ones who heard you.
“Druig! There are children here! Stop it! Stop!”
His head tilts, confused, but his rampage doesn’t stop. Another person begins screaming. You curl both hands, all your fingers, using all your might to call upon the Earth. The ground explodes the moment your eyes shine bright green, a roar sounds, and all heads snap to the woods your friends just emerged from.
Sam and Bucky tackle Peter to the ground when something leaps over them and sprints toward Druig. The ground shakes with its every step.
Bucky risks looking up. What he finds stuns him stupid.
A monstrous, twenty-foot thick tree roars, practically shattering the sound barrier. Its mouth—its fucking mouth—opens wide, spiked wooden teeth rattling as it roars again. It barrels across the short distance, picking Druig up with its arms, and slams him to the ground.
Half of your attention remains on Druig while the other half focuses on the task at hand. You bring your hand up, motioning to the speechless cultist in front of you. “Bend, and open wide.”
He obliges and you squeeze your fist hard. Drops of blood fall into his open mouth, remaining there, flowing through him. His wide eyes let you know he’s surprised too.
Once that’s done, you slowly turn back toward your magical creation pummeling Druig. Gritting your teeth, your eyes still glowing emerald, you curse. “Now, what the fuck did I say?”
Druig’s eyes are no longer yellow. In fact, he’s not controlling anyone’s mind anymore. He’s simply guarding his chest and head from the punches, eyes frightened.
You stalk toward him, hands still extended and tattoos still visible because of the crumbled sleeves. “When I say stop, you stop.”
Druig nods quickly, groaning.
“Tell me, Druig! Tell me you understand what I’m telling you!”
“Yes! Yes! I understand!”
You swipe your hand through the air, and the tree goes flying. Bucky hears it crash land somewhere back in the woods, but he’s too stunned to focus on that right now.
…What the fuck just happened?
“Am I not your Princess?” you ask Druig while he crawls from the hole. Your tone is death. “Should you not obey me?”
Druig stutters over a crumpled sound.
Before you can speak again, you’re knocked off your feet and thrown several feet away from him, back to the fire. Shocked, you look up to meet the hideous eyes of that same demon, blacker and more deadly. You quickly stand, powers ready.
“Oh,” you sigh. “It’s you.”
“My instructions were to capture you,” the demon explains, words somehow slick and sticky. “I was never given a time stamp.”
Maxwell, the lead cultist, curses loudly from behind. “It's lying! Its instructions were to bring you to us!”
“And yet, you did not instruct me to return to Hell after I succeeded.”
Maxwell meets your gaze, sorrow swimming in his irises.
“If you want me—”
Your words fizzle when a blast of lightning smashes against the demon’s skeletal body, throwing it away from you and to the ground. Its shadows dim, but it quickly recovers.
“A Norse God,” the demon licks. “What a treat.”
Thor has the good sense to look scared. Yet he challenges with, "War, demon! That is what you are starting!"
“I’ll leave you with this.” The demon vanishes, only to appear at your side. Bucky, Sam, and Peter are almost to your side when its shadows swallow you up. The demon floats over the cliffside, holding you by the back of the neck.
“When her heart beats again, I will come to collect my prize.”
When gravity pulls a body down, the stomach leaps up. You didn't think it would feel so traumatic.
You scream and claw at the air as you fall to the rocks below. Roots and branches swing over the ledge, but they’re not fast enough to catch you. Still, they persist.
Someone threw themselves over. This, you can see. Fog and mist blind you, but this you can see.
Webs stretch from his wrists, quicker than the trees, and snap against your abdomen like a sucker-punch.
But your head hits the rock, and you see nothing.
Peter falls on a nearby rock, but not with the same momentum as you. He scrambles on his hands and knees, hyperventilating.
“Oh my god,” he mutters. “Fuck, oh my fucking god.”
Peter doesn’t want to move you. He doesn’t want to make it worse.
“Oh my god,” he sputters, lips wet and eyes watering. “Oh my god!”
Bucky lands beside Peter with Sam’s hand in his. Sam’s wings re-enter their pack. Thor falls on the other side of you.
“Peter—” Sam tries, but is interrupted.
“I thought I—” Peter chokes. His hands hover over your chest. “I thought I caught her.”
Bucky’s not breathing at all. He tries to ignore the puddle of blood pooling beneath your head, tries to ignore the dead look in your eyes. Grief, upon grief, upon grief. Not even Hydra’s hands inflicted this much pain.
He drops to his knees just as Thor declares, “She’s Immortal. She’ll recover, she’s—”
Thor stops himself when Bucky tries to lift you up, and finds that the back of your head is practically caved in. Thor is right. You’ll survive this. You’ve inflicted worse on yourself—but does that make it any less gruesome, any less painful?
A million times no.
Bucky hiccups, holding you steady. His forehead rests on your sternum as he pleads, brokenly, “You don’t get to leave me. Not you. This time I’m begging.”
He begs the entire flight up the cliffside. The entire walk back to the house, avoiding the eyes of the cultists and Druig. Even when he and Sam place you in the bathtub and wash away all the blood they can.
You’re dead.
You’re actually dead, and Bucky can’t do anything but wait for you to come back to him.
~
It begins similarly as the last time. The same beautiful, blue cliffside and the same deafening silence. Yet, if you listen closely, you can hear the break of waves and whistle of the wind. But you don’t bother trying to define the elements—no—not when Ari is running to wear you’re standing.
You crash into each other in the same level of dramatics as before. There is no negative connotation to that word, however. You’ll be as dramatic as you want. You have five hundred years of dramatics to make up for.
“My love.”
God, his voice is like liquid caramel. So delightfully delicious. Memories bombard you: Ari, drunk and happy and dancing around the campfire on his birthday; Ari, brilliantly naked and stretching his morning muscles from deep sleep. The stories he would tell the children, how he would hold their hands when they learned how to swim—how you two tried to have children of your own.
“I’m dead,” you say, a gurgled laugh accidentally breaking through.
Ari stares at your face, scanning, then bursts into laughter. Your laugh mixes with his like chocolate and sugar.
“You will be back soon enough.”
Last time you “died”, resurrection occurred a few hours later. Of all the ways to die, this wasn’t the most pleasant.
“Did I do something bad?” you ask.
Ari shakes his head. “No, my love. They were telling the truth.”
Air tumbles from your shaking mouth. At least that’s one good thing that’s come from this. You just hope your friends heeded your instructions and didn’t leave a massacre behind.
“I love you,” you respond, seizing his cheeks in your hands.
Ari smiles, teeth and all. “That has always been one of your first declarations whenever you see me.”
“I feel a lot of things, Ari. But my love for you exceeds all else.”
He grabs each of your wrists, but doesn’t pull you away. “And yet, the love I declare for you exceeds even that.”
You chuckle, allowing him to take your wrists to kiss the insides. His lips like a movie soundtrack, his touch mimicking dialogue.
“When will I wake?”
Ari takes the opportunity to come in closer, his chest against yours. “Soon.”
“And when we defeat this demon, will I see you again?”
Ari’s breath hitches. “I do not fault you or anyone for keeping the living safe. I understand your fight. But, my love…” Ari’s eyes close, and he rests his forehead against yours. “I am so tired of wandering alone.”
Five hundred years worth of cracks in your heart. What’s one more?
“There are no other lost souls with you?”
His expression is answer enough.
“You have been alone all this time? For over a century?”
“Have you not been alone, too?” It doesn’t sound like a question.
You pat his broad chest, too shaken to do anything else. “I am going to put you to rest, Ari. I promise you. I promise with everything in me.”
He nods, your connected heads moving at the same time. “I will stay with you now, after, and beyond.”
“If you want to rest forever, I will not prevent you from doing so.”
An afterlife can mean two things: Either he chooses to wander for however long he wants, at peace, until he decides to lay his soul to rest or resurrect. Or, he chooses to wander forever, his soul never resting but still at peace. A ghost in the afterlife, essentially.
As much as it pains you to let him go, you have to.
Ari places a soft but fierce kiss to your lips. This is your peace.
“I do not know if this is the last time we will see each other,” Ari mumbles. Even his breath tastes like caramel. “But if it is…My peace will always be found with you. Three or five hundred years, my love—It was not enough. No amount of time would have been enough for me to wholly sink into your soul.”
“Nor me, yours.”
You pull away from him to memorize his face. But it’s a face you’ll never forget, no matter how hard you try.
“I love you,” Ari whispers.
“For five hundred years more. And however long after that.”
~
Bucky leaves your room when he can no longer stand the dryness of his throat. All his screaming has left him sore, as if the demon’s claws dragged ugly indents along the walls of his throat. He looks at you, anger and grief a dangerous combination, and exits.
You’re dead.
You died. He saw you die. Peter tried to catch you, and you fucking hit your head so hard, you died. He had to watch you die because throwing himself off the cliff wasn’t a decision on the table. But he was ready—ready to spring himself just far enough to grab you, turn, and break your fall.
Is this how Steve felt when he watched Bucky fall?
Bucky cringes. Why would he think about Steve at this time? Why would his brain conjure up the image of him, when it knows it’s starting to make him angry? It almost feels like he’s cheating on you. He didn’t think about Steve once when he was sleeping with you, but now that you fucking die? It makes his stomach turn upside down.
How did this love become tainted? How did loving Steve become such a burden? Steve makes him love New York, then he hates the city. His memory soothes Bucky’s soul, but his actions make him miserable.
Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?
Bucky throws the glass across the room. It shatters in a triumphant display of glistening water and the shards of his heart.
“Leave me alone,” Bucky whispers, haunted by the very fact he’s asking that of Steve.
Isn’t that what he did? the voice in the back of his head cruelly whispers.
“It wasn’t the Steve I knew.”
Steve during the war, during Bucky’s rescue from Hydra, before Thanos—that was Bucky’s Steve. What the hell happened in those five years? Steve only had Natasha. Sam and Bucky were both snatched from his soul, coincidence and shit luck. Did it break him? Did it make Steve yearn for a world where everything was familiar? Did it make him forget?
Maybe in a few days, weeks, months, Bucky will forgive Steve entirely. Grief is a strange thing, a long haul of paralytic agony, that has no cure.
Bucky thinks of you, and how you’re still grieving after five hundred years, and is scared. He doesn’t want to grieve for that long. He wants it to end now.
Now.
He thought he never would, but he has begun cursing Steve’s name. His whole existence. What was the point of sending something so angelic, so heroic, so gloriously noble and marvelous, into Bucky’s life? What was the point of having Bucky Barnes fall so hopelessly in love only to end up with a disastrous story? Shakespeare would laugh, or capitalize from his heartbreak. Bucky’s life is a Shakespearean tragedy—Steve is the tragic hero, Bucky the tragic villain.
What else? Those two characters always have the most dire, erotic, agonizing tension that straddles the romantic dynamic of a tragedy. Steve was the play’s hero. Bucky, the villain. They were each other’s heart-wrenching antonyms, yet so terribly similar in the way their souls spoke. Characters so unfortunate in their endings, and an exhausting constant in each other’s dreams.
Last time Bucky had a good dream about Steve Rogers was when the Wakandan summer faded into autumn in the tragic year of 2018.
He misses that summer. He misses dreaming in June.
Shakespeare’s characters always meet a dreadful end. One that is unsatisfying. Bucky can’t think of a description more fitting when he opens that fucking bottle in the haunted, Icelandic house. He tips his head back and hates himself for it.
“You don’t get to do that.”
Bucky shuts his eyes tightly.
“Go back to bed, Sam.”
“I know we all deal with shit our own ways. You drink, Shortcake wallows, Peter works until he can’t feel his bones. But I’m begging you right now…Do not drink that.”
Bucky can feel it eating away at his insides. He needs another taste, the sip of the liquor that’s been soothing his stomach for the past year and half, making his heart beat just a little quicker, making him forget for just a few hours. He wanted to drown in it when Steve left, when Sam started putting his life in danger, when you didn’t open your eyes as he tried shaking you awake. It’s itching like crazy, picking and pulling at the open slip of skin near his lips.
And yet, the thought of Sam begging has his hands shaking. “Okay,” Bucky says quietly, putting the bottle down on the table. “I won’t do it.”
“I lost him, too,” Sam mutters quickly.
“Sam—”
“I lost him, too! He was my friend, too!”
Bucky chokes on a choppy inhale. Of course Steve was Sam’s friend, too. Of course he was, Bucky knows this. But it’s the exclamation that rocks Bucky to his core and causes his chest to heave once, then twice, as he tries to respond. There are angry tears forming in Sam’s eyes, incessant.
“You’re not the only one he fucked over! He left me, too!”
Bucky raises his flesh hand in a sort of surrender, unable to keep it from trembling. He turns a little to the side so he doesn’t have to look directly at Sam. If anyone walked in right now, Peter probably, it would look like Bucky is shielding himself from an incoming blow. But Bucky seriously, honestly, is curling in on himself.
“I know you loved him,” Sam continues, breath hitching. “And I know I’ll never know exactly what you’re feeling. But he left me, too.” Sam smiles sadly, then shrugs, as if it’s all his body can do. “He left me, too.”
The moment is frozen. For seconds, maybe minutes. Bucky doesn’t walk down the path of the bottle and Sam doesn’t leave the room. He feels like a small child being scolded, but Bucky knows that’s not a fair comparison. He doesn’t even want to call this a guilt trip. He’s had an intervention coming any day now. He just didn’t expect it to be so startling and blue.
“I’m not gonna let you drink yourself to death. I don’t know how your body works, or how the serum works, but I’m not gonna let it happen. I’m not your counselor, fuck, I’m nobody’s fuckin’ counselor. I’m your friend.”
Bucky looks at the bottle, his fingers fidgeting at his sides. His ribs are incredibly sore, and each intake of air resembles a stab of fire.
He lifts his head, meeting Sam’s brown eyes. “I need help.”
Sam’s lips part and a small crack in his throat loosens. His entire face flushes with grief. “Yeah, Buck.”
Bucky shudders, his eyes watering. “I need help.”
“I’m gonna get you help, okay? We all will. I promise.” Sam closes the massive gap between them, holding Bucky’s shoulders in place. “I’m going to be there along the way, okay? I’m not leaving you.”
Bucky grips the fabric of Sam’s sweatshirt. “Don’t leave me.”
Sam shakes his head fast. “I’m not going to leave you. But you gotta promise you’re not going to leave me too, yeah? You’re not going to leave me, or Ace, or Peter. We need you just as much as you need us, Buck.”
“Why did he leave us?” Bucky breaks, sobbing into Sam’s chest. He feels as if the fog in his brain has just lifted, but it’s fighting to stay clear.
Sam holds him, staring over Bucky’s shoulder. “Million dollar question, Buck.”
Maybe Bucky isn’t the tragic villain of this play.
Maybe it was Steve all along.
~
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