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lilianne-tarot · 4 months ago

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PICK A CARD: Your Future Spouse’s First Impression of You? ✮⋆˙

I. II. III.

Hey there! Welcome to my first pick-a-card reading on this blog page, I hope you all enjoy it! If I make any mistakes, please bear with me. Comment down what you felt about the reading and if it resonated with you and show some love, Your support means everything to me!<3

How to Pick Your Pile: Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and look at the images below. Which one pulls you in the most? Trust your gut! Once you choose the image, The number below your chosen image is your pile. If more than one catches your eye, that just means there’s extra tea for you, go ahead and read both!

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⊹₊⟡ Pile I

Cards pulled: the world, page of cups, ace of wands, 8 of pentacles, hanged man, justice, 4 of wands, oracle cards

Okay babe, like instantly I’m getting this vibe that you are in a field like marketing, finance, or something that really involves talking anr writing. your job includes practical work, being clever AF, and not emotional at all. You are into a fiel which makes you fulfilled (at least finacially or in you day to day life), and let me tell you… your future partner is SO INTO IT. Like deadass, your practicality pulls them in like moth ot a flame. And listen!! It’s not that you don’t have emotions, pfft no. In fact, you’re such a sweet romantic, devoted lil baby when you actually care 💗. But the thing is, you only show it to people who deserve it. You’re not the type of person who is trying to prove how “good” you are to everyone. Period. You’re not out here giving everyone your full mushy marshmallow side of you, you’re selective. And honestly that makes People think you’re this emotionally cold, witty with words, maybe even selfish or boring. Some people see you as someone who can literally manipulate them into buying a yacht they didn’t even want 😂. Your words are your Lethal weapons. Your presence is so soft yet Strong AF.

Now, coming to how your person will perceive you. WELL. when they meet you, they’re gonna be ike “This is the one for me. Period. End of discussion”. For some of you i feel like you’ll are not into love and relationships as much as they are by the time yall meet so when they shower you with their love and start love bombing you you’e gonna feel attacked in some way🤣 you’ll be like, “goshhh leave me alone” and they are like, “NOOO MARRYYY ME PLEASEEE” 😭😭 ISTG THIS PILE STARTED SOO CONFUSING AND TOOK SUCH A TURN LOL.

OKAY so this is a specific message I’m getting. Some of you went through betrayal in life in terms of love and have been quite unlucky in love so yall wouldn’t believe in love or someone who would make you their priority. This is so painful istg. to them your love is a gift of the divine. You’re someone they can risk it all. So this whole thing about you, they’ll sense immediately, without you even saying it, that you’ve been hurt. They’ll feel your silent belief that love might not be “your thing” anymore. Maybe you’ve even sworn off marriage? ouch 😭.

But your person don’t wanna change your mind with big declarations. No no. They’re more like “Okay, you think love is a waste of time? Then waste it on me .” That message LITERALLY hit me and i think i heard it in a song but it fits here perfectly. They’re all like: I am willing. I am hearing. I am risking. I see you. They don’t just like you, they want to settle down with you. (them considering doing this even through they are mostly going to be like someone who believes in short term flings and one night stand, DUDEEE this is crazyyyy) they would be ready to do the most insane thing just to be with you. they are ready to DO ANYTHING. Like they would even agree to change countries, OVERNIGHT, if you give them a chance to be with you.

They would see you as a baby😭 DEF not literally. I know this sounds so weird and awkward 🤡 but actually what i mean here is they would adore you like a baby. Nurture you and treat you like you heart is the most fragile thing to them. They wanna be your shield, your literal security blanket. Someone who you would choose to rely on and trust. That’s their ultimate life goal at this point ✋🏻 They can see past the workaholic, composed outer shell straight to your soft, squishy inner child who needs healing and it’s high time to do it. And they’re like “lemme protect this one.”

But OHMYGOD this person wants to rush. Like it’s so funny. Iif yall have seen those vidoes of “hyper active gf/bf X chil gf/bf” I’ve been seeing that image since the beginning of this message. AHHHH I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING. So in birds, the male bird is more gorgeous than female birds and they use their beauty of charm their female lover and I’m seeing a peacock here like the female is just standing there like 🧍🏻‍♀️ and the male peacock is giving his best performance which is just so hilarioussssss😭😭😭. So this is going to be the scene with yall as well. They’re ready to lock it down. And you? You’re like “umm excuse me, I’m just now believing in love again” And yet, they’re already planning the venue and picturing the honeymoon. And hey, maybe even the physical stuff, they want closeness FAST. But not in a creepy way, they’re just excited to nurture you. MARRY YOU, even. Like… who does that anymore?!? 🥹

They give off BIG masculine energy, regardless of gender. Like… protective, active, pure-hearted, sunshine-in-human-form kind of vibes. i think you'll spent your life protecting and nurturing others so now your person is going to do all of that for you. This person is gonna light your whole life up. The Four of Wands says: “Happy endings only, baby.” Sooo yes, your life’s been all logical and methodical lately, but they’re here to remind you that JOY still exists, and you deserve it. ✨

Alsoooo, this person Will be OBSESSED with you and we know that by now.but they are gonna respect you so much as well. Maybe even be intimated and stunned by your emotial strength. Like they’ll see you as someone above them. The moment they meet you, it’s like “oh dang, I gotta step my game up to win them.” Which is HOT. They see you as an opportunity. The blessing. The “I can’t lose this or I’ll regret it for life” kinda vibe. You’ll make them realize what matters, no more wasting time with flaky BS. You are Their wake-up call ❤️

For some of y’all, your partner might’ve been a little wild before, like fucking around and doing whatever i want vibes. But after meeting you? BABY they’ll go through a whole mental tranformations You’re more stable by the time they meet you, and they’re gonna learn so much from you, especially emotionally and spiritually. Maybe you’ll be going through a time of spiritual healing when you meet them, prolly because of the hearbreak we talke about earlier. Because some of y’all are interested in spirituality, art, literature, all the mystical and deep stuff. You’re that empathic, emotionally intelligent angel who helps them feel things properly for the first time. And that’s the reason theyll be losing their sht.

They’ll mirror you. Like literally pick up your habits, try your hobbies, and follow your routines because they just wanna be in your world. And this is NOT a time-waster. No “I’ll text you back in 7-10 business days” energy. Nuh-uh. This person is action-oriented. They see something? They go for it. They like someone ( YOU)? They say it. No games, no hesitation. It’s giving: “my boy saw the girl, and he WENT FOR HER”

They’re gonna LOVE being around you. Worship your presence. Be obsessed with your voice especially. Also… this is gonna sound wild but THEY MIGHT SEE YOU AS A BABY COW (but like the cute, innocent one okay!!). Especially if you’re younger or just have this sweet soft vibe, they’re gonna be like “must protect this smol bean.” 🥹

And if your last relationship made you be the parent all the time?? Like the mature one always giving and fixing? BLESS. THIS. NEW. RELATIONSHIP. Your persona is gonna heal that. They’re the protector now. They’re the one initiating, solving conflicts, planning a dang future with you. It’s not just love, it’s “LET’S GET MARRIED” level .

This person is LOUD. Like socially, energetically, “life of the party” loud. And you? You’re chillin’, vibing, admiring them from the corner, “that’s my person.” It’s giving introvert + extrovert harmony. Yin and Yang. Opposites that complete each other.

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⊹₊⟡ Pile II

Cards pulled: Knight of cups, Knight of wands, the Sun, queen of swords, queen of cups, page of Pentacles, the Chariot and Oracle cards.

AHH MY FAVOURITE PILE. SEXYYYY LMAO

TO desribe your person's impression of you in few words: forbidded. irristible. tempting.

instantly when your person first meet you or have a proper conversation with you, they're gonna be like, "hey baby i think i wanna marry you" 🫡 (IYKYK) but the challenge they're gonna face is going to shake their ground 🤣

Your person is kinda like a bee. A WHOLE BEE. Just like a bee who wanders from one flower to another, and they believe there are many to taste and many to explore in this whole garden but they are so wrong with this mindset of theirs lol. Because the moment they meet you they’re gonna slapped with the reality check which will shatter this mindset😭😭

I feel like you'll are someone who puts a strong emphasis on material things and how you look and how the materialistic aspects of life and your social standing, career, and everything around that theme. You're ambitious towards your dream and goals, and you really value your social standing and everything related to the Venusian theme. And there is nothing wrong about that. you value your reputation immensely, this is something your person is going to notice as the first thing in you. To your fs you seem like someone who doesn't need anyone to complete you, to validate you, and that kind of intimidates your person initially, cuz they picks up on that instantly. that kind of want them to chase you HARDER because to them it seems you don't need them and they are not used to having run behind someone everrrrr. I think they had a fair share of suitors and people crushing on them, so they got whoever they wanted, but this time the script was flipped so they just can’t keep it lowkey anymore😂. And suddenly, they want to impress you (good luck with it mr/ms future spouse) . I think for a lot of you this person is going to be a younger person. But there is definitely going to be age gap of some sort. If not literally then surely on a maturity/ emotional level.

I’m also seeing that some of yall might be into healing job or something where you have to talk to people. You might be in a healing job like therapy, medicine, consulting, or something along these lines or maybe you’re just that one friend in your friend group whom everyone trauma dumps to cuz they know you would listen to them with no judegement and offer them the best adives. Either way, your person sees this soft, trustworthy energy in you right away. You just feel safe to them. Solid. Like you’ve got your priorities together, even if you’re still figuring things out (no judgment, same). There’s a huge chance you’ll meet this person through work or something career-related. Could be your first job, your current field, or even on a random trip that’s kind of job-related. When they meet you, it weirdly reminds them of something from their past, something emotional or meaningful, and it hits them. Like, you just click with a part of them they forgot was still there.

COMING TO THEM, Your future spouse is such a softie🫠. They seem quite charming, gentle and caring in nature. They are also super romantic when they actually let themselves show it. This person is one of the affectionate towards you and they are willing to commit towards you. They genuinely respect you a lot. Like, they see you as the full package. But here’s the thing about them, they kind of don’t think they’re the full package YET. They look at you and feel like they’re not on your level yet. Like they need to upgrade themselves and work on themselves a lot before even thinking about asking you out. They want to, they really do, but your strong energy throws them off just enough to make them second-guess themselves. Still, they’re not backing off (GOOD JOB). one thing is for sure, They’ll be super into you from the get go, like instant butterflies. You might notice they get a little nervous or try too hard to play it cool, but underneath that, they’re basically like “how do I win this person over?????????.”

you come across as strong and soft, which is kind of your superpower. You speak your mind, but in the most graceful, non-aggressive way that still leaves people like “damn, okay.” That’s what gets them.

this might be someone who’s already in your extended circle. Could be a friend, mutual, someone from a family connection, or maybe they pop up at a gathering where there’s already some shared comfort. It’s not giving stranger vibe, it’s giving “Hey, why do you feel kinda familiar?” There’s this cozy vibe with them, like you’ve known them in some alternate reality. It could also be a past life connection.

Also, you're gonna find them super soft whn you actually get to know them on a deeper level. Like innocent-in-a-cute-way soft. They’re still figuring life out, but not in a mess, they’re just young-soul energy. And ou're the wise owl here. You’ll feel it. You’ve seen things, learned things, set boundaries, and now you’re in your “I don’t have time for nonsense” era. You’re fiercely protective of your independence, your peace, and your standards. Not bitter, not jaded, just self-respecting. You’re loyal, loving, and lowkey hilarious, and once people get past your gate, they’re in for life. That nurturing, “mom friend but make it glamorous” energy you radiate, that’s what pulls them in like gravity. You’re elegant and put-together in public too, like someone who always knows which fork to use and still makes it look casual.

Now your person is very into their goals. Like, this is the kind of person who has a whole plan of what they are going to do with their carrer. It could also be that they have some family business of some sort so their carrer path is already planned. They care a lot about career, money, education, and just...winning at life. And somehow, your connection will tie into that part of their world. Not saying it’s gonna be all business and work, but your presence shifts their focus. You spark something in them that makes them want more than just success on paper. You make them want real connection too. WITH YOU. they might act all chill and emotionally composed on the outside, but inside they are just a fragile little baby 🫠They don’t always know how to handle all those emotions, though, so you might see them try to play it cool while they're internally spiraling like, “Why am I obsessed???”

They’re ambitious, yes, but emotionally not so skilled yet lol😭. You’re showing up as the wise one in this connection, and they’re the student. There’s a clear maturity difference here, but it’s not a dealbreaker. If anything, it’s adorable ( i’m lovinggg this😭). You’ve both got earthy energy, you vibe with the small joys of life. You’re the sunshine in the relationship, and they’re the knight/ the chariot protecting that light like, “Nobody mess with this, or you’ll answer to me.”

ALSOOO, They’re loyal AF, so you never have to stress about trust. Might be a little bit of a dreamer, definitely pretty (like, actually pretty), and they see the world with these rose-tinted glasses that make everything feel magical. They’re gonna look at you like you’re their personal dream ocme true. CUTEEEEEEE😭 Now, full honesty, they might not have been the most serious about love before. Kinda more “flings, sex and timepass” than “relationship goals.” But You're the exception. You're the one who flips the whole script for them. And they love it.

BESTIE THIS PERSON IS SOO UNPREDICTIBLE😭😭. Reading about them is like solving a confusing case. Something new is popping up every moment, once they are just fuck around energy, suddenly they are also career focused, then they are also emotionally deep and cute??!?!?! Like they are making me question myself😭😭

Like In their career and goals? Super focused. All about logic, hustle, planning. But in their personal life? Total softie. Cuddly, romantic, shy, and a little emotionally-driven puppy. Their heart leads in relationships, not their head. Which is funny, because it’s the opposite of how they act professionally. They’re not emotionally unstable or immature. they’re secure, they’re not gonna have you babysitting their feelings. It's a green flag there. Also, you two? Total “we feed the street cats and cry at sunsets” energy. You both adore the little joys like kids, animals, flowers, summers, random beautiful things, and they’ll totally join in on appreciating it all with you. If you say, “Look how cute this snail is,” they’re right there like, “OMG he has a little home 🥺.” songs cringe but with your fav person nothing remains cringe TRUST ME.

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⊹₊⟡ Pile III

Cards pulled: 9 of wands, 2 of swords, the world, king of pentacles, 4 of swords, 7 of pentacles, king of wands, death and oracle cards.

Before diving into the reading, i'll have to say that this pile has the strongest and heaviest energies. I had to pause multiple times while doing this, and thus I will keep every message raw and real with yall as well to keep the real essence of the reading intact.

At first glance, you might look like someone who keeps everything to themselves, someone who’s always protecting themselves, guarding themselves, and has locked themselves inside a cage they made on their own. Maybe even someone who gets into conflicts here and there if someone tries to climb that wall.

In your life, you might have faced a really painful betrayal, where you believed in something or someone with your whole heart. Maybe it was a dream, a person, a career, a degree, a friend, or anything you truly trusted, and it didn’t work out. It broke your heart deeply. After that, you started protecting yourself. Your person will witness this entire journey, they will see you going through all of this. They will understand the depth of your pain. Maybe the signs were always there, maybe it was obvious that things weren’t going to work out, but you still believed. And now, you might even feel like a fool for believing in it.

You might think, "I didn’t even try to understand the truth when it was right in front of me." This thing likely happened to you when you were very young, which made the pain even harder. And that’s okay. You were young and vulnerable. But somehow, this pain you went through , it’s also going to hurt your person deeply. Like, they’ll feel that pain in their heart too. There’s a really strong water sign energy here, I feel it clearly. Maybe it's Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio, or even strong water planets in you or their charts. Some of you might have these zodiac signs, or maybe you just love being around water, because while doing this reading, I keep getting images of water. I can feel this water energy very strongly. Maybe your person is a water sign. Anything is possible.

Your person is going to help you go through this pain and heal from it. They will help you slowly open up again, break down those walls, and rebuild your spark. They want you to spread your wings again. They’ll help you gently dust yourself off, slowly but softly, and break out of those walls you built around yourself. They’ll help you come back to life. Once again, this is not a first impression because this person has known you for a long time. Even before officially meeting, I feel like they will already know about you in some way. So the whole idea of a first impression doesn’t apply here.

This is like the first pile I read, I don’t see this as just a first impression, but as a full journey. But when your person sees you, they’ll think you are someone with deep empathy and softness in your nature.

Okay, I’m seriously getting emotional now. I’m not joking. A sentence just came to me so suddenly, and it hit me hard:

"It’s not your job to heal everyone." "It’s not your responsibility to take care of everyone’s emotions." You are only responsible for yourself love. Spread your wings high and just fly, because that’s what you deserve.

This is exactly how your person sees you. This is what they want for you. They want you to see yourself the way they see you, strong, worthy, and free. I can’t even explain how much this sentence affected me while writing. I had to stop for five minutes. That’s how powerful it was. It felt like the most beautiful message ever.

You’ll meet this person during a really low phase in your life, when everything feels confusing, and you’re struggling to make decisions. You’re stuck in a very critical moment. You’ll feel frustrated, lost, like nothing makes sense. And even your person will be feeling something similar in their own life. They’ll feel like they’re trapped too, like someone has put them at gunpoint and they’re being forced to just look at what’s convenient or beneficial to others. You’ll meet your person at a low phase in your life, when everything is confusing, when nothing makes sense, when decision-making feels impossible, and you feel like you’re stuck in a really critical situation. You’ll feel exhausted, stressed. And honestly, your person, they’ll also be in a similar phase. Maybe even worse. They’ll also feel like they’re completely stuck in their own life. Like they’re being held at gunpoint and people around them are being selfish. While you, on the other hand, won’t even understand what’s going on or what exactly you’re doing anymore. So love at first sight or basically falling in love os a theme youll both explore at the MUCHHH later stage of your journey together.

Meanwhile, you're trying to figure out what you're doing with your life, and you can’t seem to understand anything clearly.

When yall meet or get to know each other, you might have been in a situation where your person could clearly see that you were going through a very intense phase in life. Maybe they were even a part of that journey, the journey where you had to face multiple moments of confusion and indecision. There were moment where you had multiple breakdowns and even times of self doubt and insecurity. And they’ve seen you go through all of that. So I feel like this person had already become a part of your life long ago, at a very early stage of your life because i don’t see any theme of first impression here. It’s more about how they actually see you. you'll only realize it much later, maybe very late in life, how they’ve been ap art of your journey for so long, because you were so caught up and occupied with other areas of your life that you didn’t even notice this happening. You were so busy guarding yourself and protecting yourself that this wasn't even something that bothered you at all.

A specific message i am getting is you’ll begin to know this person when you are going through an important phase of your life, a transformative one, and something that is testing you. Like an important exam in your life, your job hunting time? Or just anything along these lines which needs patience and resilience and trusting in oneself.

This person is the kind of person who, more than themselves they wants YOU to succeed in life. This person will genuinely want you to succeed a lot in your life, move far ahead, and do great things. And they will notice how you hold yourself back from your true self, how you keep yourself controlled. They will see all of this and will want you to let go of this state of yours. They would wish you would stop holding yourself back and doubting yourself, and just spread your wings wide and high and explore every colours of life.

AHHHH. this is crazyyyyy. SO Right after I told you to spread your wings, I pulled an oracle card I got a message from that oracle Card, and it showed me the image of the Phoenix. Phoenix is a bird that holds powerful fire energy. In the image, it’s shown spreading its wings wide and high. I seriously got goosebumps seeing ths. That card instatly gave me a very clear message from the universe, it confirmed what I had just told you. It showed me how much this person wants you to grow emotionally. They want you to break out of your comfort zone, spread your wings, and live your life fully. They want you to experience everything in this world.😭😭

I can strongly feel that this person would go all the way to make sacrifices for you. This is definitely a love where your person won’t mind sacrificing anything for your sake, if it means your happiness. GOSHHHH I CANT-

This love is very real and grounded. It’s the kind of love where the person will go through ANYY pain just for you. They feel your pain like it’s their own. Maybe something happened in your past that made you become so guarded and protected, and this person wants you to feel your inner strength again. They want you to know that no dream or desire is more powerful than you. If you truly want to grow, nothing can stop you. This person carries very steady emotional energy, they are emotionally mature and stable. This isn’t someone who will bring unnecessary drama into your life over small things so you can be relaxed about that. One thing i noticed is how this person is SOOO similar to the the male lead of the kdrama when life gives you tangerines, how he dedicated his entire life for his wind especially him saying things like, “i can’t live without her” LORD.

This person will bring a lot of transformation into your life. The last card I pulled for you was the Death card, and that’s not negative here. It actually shows how this person is going to completely flip your life around and change everything for the better. As I’m doing this reading, I feel intense emotions. My energy feels drained, and my heart is pounding, i’m not eve kidding. I had to pause this reading multiple times cause the overload of emotions i felt were overwhelming at some point lol but im glad this tured out so beautifully ultimately HAHA. That tells me this is how strongly this person will feel about you, this is how deeply they will experience knowing you.

Again, this reading isn’t about a "first impression" because this is a long story. You both have known each other for a long time, longer than even words can explain. maybe even beyond this lifetimes. You complete each other, like puzzle pieces that perfectly fit together. So, in your case, there’s no such thing as a "first impression" because your connection is very divine and complicated in a beautiful way.

You’re someone this person is truly ready to invest time, energy, and commitment into. They are ready to build something stable with you. They want to grow with you. As much as they want to live their own life, they also want to make you feel safe, happy, and secure. You both might even have a Twin Flame connection. Twin Flames often go through similar kinds of life events, and I think you both will experience that too. Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like you two will have similar life stories or meet through a shared path. For example, maybe you're in the same college, doing the same course, or working in the same place, there's a similarity here. Maybe through a same fandom of spiritual path. Your emotions will be very dependent on each other, even at a subconscious level.

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 26 days ago

Text

butterflygirl738 (3)

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, power imbalance, sickness, medical bills, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You love butterflies and your mother, but life isn’t that simple. As life gets complicated, and expensive, you find yourself in need and an unexpected miracle presents itself.

Characters: Steve Rogers (CEO/Sugar Daddy)

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

You stand behind the dumpster. Frozen. The world stacks on your chest. The bills, the doctors, your managers, the butterflies... Everything, from big to small. All of it feels insurmountable. You don’t think you can go on much longer. Not like this. Not on your own.

This is something. Help. Are you too hopeful? Too desperate? So what if you are. This isn’t about your life, it’s about your mom’s.

How many nights have you laid away dreaming of an easy out. Of any crumb of help. Of some sort of relief. This might not be it but you can’t just wave it away.

You click the link. It prompts you to install WhatsApp. You pace in circles as you wait for the pubic wi-fi to download the app. When that’s done, you’re redirected to add a contact; ‘S’. Hm. Mysterious.

You accept and a message blips up.

‘Can I call?’

Your heart jumps. You’re doing this. Doing what? It’s a call. You shake your head and send a thumbs up. Stop shaking.

The call pops up, chiming from the speakers. You fumble and answer, mindless noises squeaking from your throat. You steady the phone and peek out around the bins. Another car draws up to the window.

“Hello? Everything okay?” The deep voice startles you.

You grip the cell and clear your throat, “sorry, I... I never used this before.”

“Hm, that’s alright,” he assures. His timbre is calm and even. That’s so soothing.

“Uh, hi?” You say awkwardly and retreat to hide again. “Um...”

Silence radiates from the speaker. He sniffs.

“Um, how are the butterflies?” He asks.

You blink and look back and forth. “My butterflies?”

“Sure, they come out yet?”

“Oh, uh... no...”

You chew your lip. He doesn’t sound like your typical watcher. You get those aesthetic blogs with girly moodboards or crafting how-tos. He’s a man. And he sounds older. Not old, just older than you.

“Right,” he takes a deep breath. “Look, I’m thinking right now and I don’t think this is something we should talk about over the phone.”

“Huh? Oh?” You sputter in confusion. “Sure. Erm. Thank you.” You put your hand to your chest. “You’re very generous but if you changed your mind--"

“No, I haven’t,” he says firmly. “What I want to say I would like to say to you. In person.”

You laugh, more out of surprise than amusement. “Well, uh, that’s... no, I don’t know. I live... in the middle of nowhere. That’s not possible.”

“I’ll come to you.” He insists.

You stop shuffling around and hum. He’s quiet as you think. Obviously, it’s not smart to meet strangers on the internet.

“You pick the place. Neutral ground.” He suggests.

“Well, you know, I have two jobs and I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” You wiggle your nose awkwardly and cringe. “I should really give you that money back.”

“Keep it.” He says. “I’m willing to negotiate. I’ll give you access to my location so you know where I am. Everything’s on the up and up.”

“Oh, oh,” you eke out nervously. Your mom would be screaming at you. What did I tell you about the internet? But that was when you were young. Just a teenager. You’re an adult now.

“There’s another ten on the table if you just talk.” He offers.

You nearly trip. You let out and oop and catch yourself on the dumpster. The smell of the contents adds to the roiling of your stomach.

“Ten?” You murmur.

“Ten grand.”

“How-- oh, that’s a lot of money.”

“I’d pay more.”

That statement takes your breath away. You look down at your beaten up sneakers. You ground your heel into the ground.

“But why?”

“Like I said, I want to discuss it face-to-face,” he says. “It doesn’t feel right like this so... you send me the location where you want to meet. Send me a date and time. And check the chat.”

“Pardon?” You utter.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he says abruptly as something scuffs on his end. “I gotta go.”

He hangs up. You stand stunned in silence. You pull the phone away from your face and look down at the screen. Another link. You tap it without a second thought. Shoot, you probably shouldn’t have.

The browser opens a page; a notice at the bottom that says the app work better. Just another thing to download. Above the banner is a map and a flashing dot. You squint and zoom in.

Your brow furrows. You make a goofy face and scoff. New York? Oh wow.

You quickly exit out of all the windows and put your phone away. You inhale and let it out slow. You slink out from behind the dumpsters and head towards home. You’ll take your time and think. You always enjoyed a nice walk, especially when your mom came along.

🦋

“Whatcha thinking of, pie?” Your mom asks suddenly.

You lift your head and open your eyes. You barely remember sitting down. Even just getting home. After back-to-back shifts, you’re worn out. You feel like a sheet hanging in the sun. Each day that hollowness grows.

“Oh, nothing,” you lie. You think of the only thing you’ve been able to think of for the last day.

She nods but you can see she doesn’t buy it. You shrug and clasp your hands together. “Just work. They’re cutting back on labour for the summer.”

“That’s too bad,” she says. “I’m sure you’ll still get hours.”

But not enough...

“I put out an application at the computer reseller,” you say. “But he didn’t seem very impressed. Maybe the coffee place? Couple hours in the morning.”

“Oh, honey,” your mom frowns. “You need a break. You’re always working.”

“I’m fine, mom,” you say.

No, you’re tired. You’re exhausted to the bone and yet when you lay down at night, you can’t sleep. All you can do is lay there and think about doom. About how it’ll be your fault when she dies.

You stand up suddenly at that thought. You try not to let it in. You shudder and cross the room.

“Pie?” Her voice piques with alarm.

“Sorry, mom, I don’t know... I just... I feel like I forgot something,” you shake off the tension. Or try to.

“Ha, I know that feeling,” she says. “While you’re up...”

“Tea?” You offer. She nods. “Alright.”

You go into the kitchen. You flip on the electric kettle and grip the edge of the counter. You lean on it and hang your head. You suck back a wave of tears. You will never forgive yourself if you don’t do everything you possibly can to save her.

You wait until the click. You pour hot water over the ginger and lemon tea bag and take it out to your mom. “It’s hot.” You put it on a coaster. “I remembered what I forgot.”

“Oh?” She wonders.

“I didn’t talk to the building manager about the water. The bathroom sink is still spitting out rust.”

“Ah, right,” she nods.

“I won’t be long,” you say. “I’m just going to fill out a form and leave it in the slot.”

“Be safe,” she calls after you.

You swipe up your phone and hurry to the door. As you step into the hall, guilt scalds around your neck. You don’t lie to your mom. Ever. She doesn’t need anything else to worry about.

You head downstairs. It’s not really a lie if you make it true. You grab one of the forms from the building office and take it with you outside. You fold it up and tuck it in your pocket. You’ll put it in tomorrow morning before work.

You follow your phone signal down the street. Finally, a network pops up. The overpriced knick knack boutique has free wi-fi, who would have guessed?

Self-awareness sets in. You look around the dark streets. You open up WhatsApp. You think, biting the tip of your tongue as you do.

It has to be somewhere far from home but not too far that you can’t get there. And it has to be between the appointments and work. Ugh. Okay. You got it.

You type in the place and time. A week isn’t too soon? He’s probably busy. He sounds important. You can only guess. You don’t know anything about him. That’s a sobering realisation but you already hit send.

The reply chimes loudly in the quiet night. That’s quick.

‘I’ll be there.’

Simple. To the point. A complete answer that answers nothing at all. What are you doing?

🦋

You place the coffee on the table and sit. You stare at the dark brew. It’s the cheapest size and roast, but that flicker of guilt remains. You could use that two bucks for something better. Even after that generous donation, you’re still in the red.

You check your phone quickly. The last message was about an hour ago. ‘We’re still good?’ and you confirmed. ‘See ya then’.

You cross one foot over the other, your toe wiggling anxiously. You watch the brim of the cup. You put your phone next to it and look out the window. A woman passes by with her stroller and another child dancing around at her side. You smile.

You sit back and check the clock above the counter. Each number is a coffee bean. It’s cute.

The place is busy. The door jingles between the voices of customers and employees. The grind of the machines and puffs of steams are near constant.

You chose the place deliberately. Partly out of embarrassment. You didn’t want to meet him at a chain place. You thought he might judge you for that. Well, you are begging for money online. It doesn’t really matter.

You put your hands on the side of the mug. The warmth does not comfort you. Your stomach is tangling in on itself. You should have got tea. You don’t know if you can handle caffeine right now.

The clock ticks past the hour. He’s late. That’s alright. He doesn’t know the town. He could be lost. You could check his location... no, you haven't dared to do that. It feels like a violation.

Or this could all be a cruel joke. You cringe. Did you just waste your own time?

It’s only two minutes.

A kid jostles by your table and your chair jerks as their toe catches. They sprawl over the floor and their mother shrieks their name. You get up and kneel by the lanky third grader.

“Woah, you okay?” You ask as he sits up and rubs his elbow.

“Oweee,” he grimaces.

“Are you bleeding?”

“No,” he pouts. “I’m okay.”

“Here,” you offer your hand.

You help him up. His mom comes over in a huff. “Liam!”

“He’s okay,” you say. “Just a bruise.”

“Oh, thanks. I’m so sorry about him.” She sends him the mom eyes.

“It’s fine. He’s just a kid.”

She harrumphs and grabs Liam by the arm, “come on. You can wait to have your cookie.”

You back up and turn to the table. Your coffee sloshed in the chaos and a puddle surrounds the base. You go to grab napkins from the counter. As you mop up the mess, a chair scrapes. You look up as a blond man stands. He picks up the tall mug and heads in your direction.

“Here,” he opens his hand as he approaches. “I’ll throw that out for you.”

You stare at him in confusion. You recognise his voice. You hand over the wadded napkin dumbly and gape. He brushes by and goes to toss the bunched tissue.

He returns and gestures to your seat. You sit and he puts his cup across from yours. “You need a refill?”

You shake your head. He sits and pushes his shoulders wide. You watch him. You remember him coming in. He’s hard to miss. Tall, broad shoulders, neat hair, and a pair of dark aviators. He wears jeans and a sage linen button-up.

“I’m sorry,” he begins. “I was watching you.” He looks around. “Can never be too sure who you meet on the internet.”

You nod. “Wait... how do you know it’s me?”

He looks down and points at your wrist. “You wore that in a video. You were showing of that monarch and I remember the bracelet.”

You look at the charm dangling from your wrist. You blink.

“Right,” you say.

“You know, most people wouldn’t have been so helpful with that kid.” He says.

“Oh, uh, stuff happens. No one was hurt,” you shrug and twine your fingers together. “Um...”

“So...” he fills the void. “Do I call you butterflygirl738 or do you prefer something else?”

You give a tight-lipped smile. You’re here. He’s here. No going back now.

#steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #au #marvel #mcu #captain america #avengers #butterflygirl738

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