#(( theyll get done... at some point ))

[lecliss]

The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!

[spacebugarts]

I'm just... so tired of needing to filter my words 500 times in my head before actually saying them in order to avoid giving off the wrong impression with my tone/wording, and then failing anyways. Even over text I need to rewrite things multiple rimes and use multiple different tonal indicators and it still comes out wrong!!! And then neurotypical people are just out there saying whatever and people understand what they mean every time! Its so exhausting just let me say things the way I mean them pls

[pastelchad]

Instead of writing fic where you genderbend the ukes and make them str8 couples (😐) genderbend the entirety of sih and make the central conflict about Akihiko and fem!Ritsu's lavender marriage

[silverislander]

looking at tattoo places in my town like its ever gonna happen and. :/

[shire-baird]

pumpkin, small kine rouge platonically, babybel, & mint (i think we could spend the whole day just. baking.) 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

ilyt platonically! kinda cannot believe pumpkin but we are on the same page with the mint and babybel!! <3

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[randomwords247]

I recently got a tablet to help with note taking in lectures (as I couldn't keep up without cramping my wrist on paper and I am a much faster typer) and it's been helping me to focus and take in the lecture a lot better than before

That being said lecture doodles are a given so here's a bunch of them featuring: my ocs and some trees

You'll have to excuse the writing I try and be careful to not cover the doodles but sometimes I just Keep Writing. Ignore the typos too. I write fast and the keyboard is smaller than what I'm used to-

But ye uni has been kicking my butt and this and some doodles in my sketchbook is like. Most of what I've drawn in the last month. I only have one assignment left for the semester so I can chill a bit more and do some more drawing now tho :D

[anissapierce]

Lmao when i saw qahers name i was thinking 'oh wow what an arab name first n last i guess his family must b from rabat but even so ' forgetting that ppls ethnicity's do not match the characters they

[wintersoldeer]

everyone else gets: ...bells?

i get: my dashboard not working at all anymore (just an empty white page)

[shuttershocky]

how accessible is ultrakill for someone not terribly good at videogames? because it looks like it fucks severely but I generally have a pretty bad time with games that require super quick reflexes... are there difficulty settings or is it like, go all in all the time?

I'm glad you asked, as this is something I've wanted to post about for a while.

While Ultrakill's default is pretty difficult (it's heavily inspired by DMC after all, which is incredibly difficult to actually get good at) There's actually quite a lot of accessibility settings you can tweak to make the game perfectly playable to even new time gamers.

First off there's the Difficulty Settings: Harmless, Lenient, Standard, and Violence.

Harmless gives you double the health (200 instead of 100) and massively slows down enemy attacks to the point where even a very slow reflex should let you get out of the way. It also disables special moves on some bosses and special enemies.

Lenient's a bump up in difficulty where you got standard health and enemies will actually try to hit you now, but they're still slow and some enemies will still take it easy on you.

Standard is standard everything (obviously). Enemies are moving at normal speed, they got all their attacks, and theyll actually do a decent job of killing you.

Violence is sped up. Enemies move much faster, are more aggressive, and even gain new behaviors (like rage modes, modified special attacks, etc) to make it the hardest mode.

Apart from the difficulty settings, Ultrakill has 3 layers of assists: Minor Assists, Major Assists, and Cheats.

Minor Assists can be turned on and used without penalties. These are usually stuff like " turn on enemy silhouettes" so you can always see enemies better, but very notably, Minor Assists includes Auto-Aim, and a bar from 0% to Fullscreen. This means that you can set an aim assist from minorly helping you lock on to targets if your mouse drifts close, to covering the entire screen, perfectly shooting targets with 100% accuracy regardless of your aim. This can be done without any penalties whatsoever, meaning you can equip a full aim bot all you like.

Major Assists are settings that mess harder with the game balance. You can set how much damage you take (even move it down to 0% to make you invincible!), set the Game Speed (100% is normal, 50% means everything moves at half speed), and other random useful bits like enabling infinite stamina or disabling weapon freshness (basically, the game lowers your style if you constantly stick to just one weapon, this setting can disable that). While you can finish stages this way and get scored, using Major Assists disables getting P (perfect) ranks on stages. This is notable, because P ranking all the stages is how you unlock the secret superbosses. You'll have to learn how to beat stages with just minor assists if you want to meet these.

Cheats are cheat settings that are less about helping you beat the game and more for the developers to test stuff. This gives you access to things like spawning specific enemies, blinding all enemies so they stand still, making enemies invincible, that sort of stuff, so you really don't need these if you're just after playing the game, since Major Assists can literally make you invincible. However, it can be fun to turn on certain cheats like disabling weapon cooldowns or despawning all enemies on the map so you can freely explore it, just note that these sometimes break the game. To activate cheats, enter the Konami code (up up down down left right left right B A). If you play a stage with cheats activated, you get NO SCORE for a stage.

If you find the game's rapid pace and aggressive gameplay intimidating, you can go through the game on one of the lower difficulties with Major Assists turned on to reduce the damage you gain, and once you're confident you know a stage inside and out, clear it again with only auto-aim from Minor Assists turned on to get the P rank if you really wish to fight the superbosses.

Ultrakill is all about playing as stylishly as possible, but what that actually means can be entirely defined by you! Slow down the game speed, reduce damage taken, bring along a teeny tiny aim assist or go full aimbot with every weapon, you can tweak it exactly how you want!

And if you ever want to push yourself on certain skills (maybe fighting certain enemies or movement techniques), the game also has a Sandbox mode where you can place whatever stage objects, hazards, and enemies you like to practice on. I like to spend time in the sandbox learning the exact parry timings on different enemy attacks, as well as experimenting with different ways to approach them!

[queenie-blackthorn]

tips for writing arab characters

writer here!! im a middle eastern writer whos noticed that theres a VERY significant lack of info on how to write arabs, so im here to help !! (however, keep in mind that im specifically gulf arab and may not be able to provide as much info on levant arabs or north african arabs. if there are any on here, feel free to reblog w more info !! )

dont get arabs mixed up w muslims. yes, a large portion of the arab population are muslim, but youd be surprised at the number of non-muslim arabs that exist. if you wanna write abt a muslim character, a post i made that might help is here 

list of arab countries, with the adjective:

algeria — algerian

bahrain — bahraini 

the comoros islands — comorans

djibouti — djiboutian

egypt — egyptian

iraq — iraqi

jordan — jordanian

kuwait — kuwaiti

lebanon — lebanese

libya — libyan

morocco — moroccan

mauritania — mauritanian

oman — omani

palestine — palestinian

qatar — qatari

kingdom of saudi arabia (ksa) — saudi

somalia — somali

sudan  — sudanese

syria — syrian

tunisia — tunisian

united arab emirates (uae) — emirati

yemen — yemeni

dialects/language:

dialects greatly differ—the egyptian dialect is the most common, followed closely by the levantine dialect

classic arabic is called fusha (fuss-ha), used in things like official documents, media, education. every arab knows it but its not used in day to day language except in media (all dialects basically come from fusha, but with slight changes)

'p' and 'g' (as in 'gurgle' or 'goal') dont exist in the arabic alphabet, theyre replaced with 'b' and 'j' 

depending on where theyre from, they may also learn a third language besides arabic and english (e.g. moroccans know french, a berber arab may know berber)

appearance:

arabs look different based on where theyre from. if theyre from the arabian peninsula, they have thick curly dark hair, tanned skin, and dark eyes. levant arabs are lighter skinned, and green/blue eyes are more common with them

adding on to previous point, arabs have a variety of skin tones, even if theyre siblings. using a real example, me and my older brother respectively look white passing and afro hispanic

dark irises are considered better looking than lighter colored eyes. eyes are usually thick-lashed, with big round slightly upturned eyes 

big noses are common, along with full lips (and hereditary dark circles for those with more tanned skin)

high cheekbones and well structured faces are also prevalent

culture:

varies depending on location

influenced by indian culture, IS NOT INTERCHANGEABLE WITH INDIAN CULTURE. that was aladdins mistake

poetry is so common, especially with romantic themes

songs also have romantic themes

youd be surprised at how romantic arabs are

dances vary extremely, from dabke (palestinean dance done in groups, consisting largely of leg/foot movements) to yola (emirati dance with battle origins, done using canes or fake guns) i recommend watching videos (tiktok has a lot of videos esp of dabke)

women also dance but you wont find a lot of videos of it bc its inappropriate

etiquette:

things such as giving someone your back, or facing the bottom of your feet towards someone are considered rude 

pda is also taboo (even with straight couples or even sometimes married couples)

cheek kisses are a common way of greeting, but not between genders

in some gulf countries, men greet each other with a nose kiss (not in an intimate way) just stubbing their noses against each other

genders do not mix at all. schools tend to divide girls and boys into two sections starting at a certain age (around age 10/11), and mosques are split into the mens side (usually larger than womens bc men use the mosque more)

having an extramarital relationship is very very taboo (even w hetero relationships) but it still happens. a lot. 

family dynamics (note that this is obviously a spectrum. this is the general dynamic, but obv it ranges from family to family):

NOT ALL OF US HAVE ABUSIVE PARENTS. sure theyll spank you if you skip school, but thats not necessarily abusive. its more strict, and youd be surprised at the amount of freedom some parents give their kids

yes, arranged marriages do happen. no, they arent necessarily forced, it just means that your parents had a hand in deciding who youll marry. yes, marrying cousins is a thing, but its much less prevalent now (also, ew)

fathers care. a lot. they dont show it, but they do. they also tend to joke around a lot

mothers tend to be the rule enforcers, and by far our moms are our best friends. we tell them EVERYTHING i swear 

aunties gossip a lot

uncles are a safety hazard

its not uncommon to have a large number of cousins (mainly bc arabs tend to have a lot of kids)

the average number of children 3 per woman, but from personal experience the older the generation the more kids (e.g. my great-grandmother had a whopping thirteen kids, my grandmother had seven, my mom has six, but a couple of my aunts only have one or two)

social class/work environment/school environment:

schools tend to be either arab curriculums but there is a high density of american/british curriculum schools

boys and girls tend to be separated in school around age nine/ten but some schools will be mixed genders up till graduation

yes, women work, tho admittedly some of them tend to have careers more than jobs (e.g. photographer, writer, etc while the men handle engineering, economics, etc)

no, not all of us are rich. in fact, countries like jordan, egypt, tunisia, morocco, and yemen (and infamously palestine) are acc struggling w poverty. its mainly just gulf arabs who are rich

furthermore, gulf arabs may be generally rich but a large chunk of them have the same lifestyle as an upper-middle class family in the usa. rich but not too rich. dont be fooled by the videos of guys wearing kandoras and driving lambos

speaking of kandoras...

outfits (keep in mind that spelling may vary since its all transliteration, and pronunciation may vary depending on region) (also keep in mind that even if we still live in the middle east, WE CAN WEAR JEANS AND HOODIES AND BAND SHIRTS. just, usually cover up more in public):

abaya: loose overgarment worn by women

jilbab/chandoor: also worn by women, type of long dress or tunic

the white robe all of yall know is known as a thobe, dishdasha, or kandora

the colored headscarf worn by men is known as a ghuthrain in the gulf, kevfiah in the levant. its kept in place with a black cord called a aghal, and under it they wear a skullcap called a thagiyah

those are the most common ones, however if youd like to get a lil more specific on clothong, the ultimate guide to arab clothing is here (it also has specified clothing for individual countries)

hope this helps, feel free to reblog w more info if you have any !!

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

Honestly, Im a little disappointed that it wasn't messier. Im disappointed that there wasnt more shouting. That Lauda was providing most of the pushing and everyone else was just kinda... rolling over? I wanted an argument that would have brought the roof down on them 🙄

the reason theres so much constant tension in this party is that they all havent tried hard enough to punch each other in the face - like really smash.

to be totally serious tho, remember when Chetney told Ashton to gtfo and thats what broke the tension? someone finally getting the guts to be mean and to push hard on someone else's reckless bullshit?

the fact that theres no such equivalent here? the fact that chetney hasnt intervened on that level? thats whats keeping this tension.

on one hand, the way some of the party treat laudna is so fucking patronizing, its actively painful - Ashton whispering to Laudna for an apology? wtf? the way they acted like she was a misbehaving toddler set my teeth on edge. Then Imogen... Buddy, pal, you just watched your mother regurgitate Ludinus's lies like they were stone cold facts and youre out here accepting the same thing from Laudna without a second glance. You know she has a problem! You know she's not the most reliable narrator! You know she fails insight checks against herself all the time!!!

Ashton and Imogen both needed to treat Laudna like a threat in that moment bc she attacked someone without provocation during a rest when they were trusting her to not do that and it was clearly premeditated because she covered herself in darkness. The fact that they dont demonstrates that neither are taking her capabilities seriously enough. The fact that they arent addressing the threat she presents - to others and herself - is allowing her to continue hurting herself and others.

Whereas, Fearne is complicit in it all because shes so conflict averse. She was never gonna be the one to hold Laudna over the fire.

Chetney and Orym would have. Orym was trying to but literally only Dorian backed him up. And Dorian doesnt know fuck about all. He joined them two days ago. Hes got no fucking clue whats happening!! Oryms the only one really pointing out the fact that he was attacked unprovoked

and sure laudna was aiming for the sheathe, but thats splitting hairs... i believe we removed targeting each armor piece somewhere in dnd 3.5 or something lol - if youre targeting a piece on someone, the usual call Matt makes is to give this a higher DC. Matt making Marisha roll arcana makes sense bc yes you can control wither and blooms "chosen target", but when the target is attached to something else, and moreover the target is a thing - not a creature like the spell says RAW... it makes sense that a failed arcana check would lead to that failure

for all intents and purposes, laudna was aiming for orym. she didnt mean to hurt him but again, shes operating under the influence (and yes I do mean that connotation). a lot of people do shit they dont mean under the influence. but they still gotta do the repairs when they come back to their senses. harm was still done. Orym attacking laudna bc he was hurt and blinded is also fucking reasonable. he didnt fucking know it was her in the first place.

for laudna to say that orym hurt her when she attacked him - that was grade A manipulation

and heres the thing too, when someone is acting under the influence, people usually call it out. they say stuff like "youre drunk" or "youre high" to acknowledge that hey, this isnt you but also this isnt acceptable either. no one breathed a fucking word about delilah until the very very end. they all treated laudna like she was in a reasonable state of mind, and she wasnt. they werent meeting her where she was at and so they failed to reach her

now to orym... did they all agree that the sword was oryms? bc that was a discussion they did not have... chetney made a one off comment about how theyll need permission for it (possibly implying orym but never explicitly stated)... was the idea that orym gets it because he got hurt first? that wouldve been stupid for sure

to dorian's point, hey its just a sword. swords hurt people. what youre gonna look at every sword with magic geometry and expect to see it cuddling puppies? swords are made to hurt. even when its defending. it can parry but if you need a shield get a shield. sure, this was otohan's sword but the sword is not sentient (laudna girl you need to insight check your patron pls). otohan hurt her not the sword. and to allow her to consume it was more leaning into her trauma - its not setting a good precedent for future healthy coping mechanisms basically

that said, dorian cant just say that without acknowledging the depth of laudnas trauma. the sword actively triggered her. this does reek of a PTSD episode where she went running to a soothing influence. to simply say its just a sword without paying respect to laudna's hurt is also incredibly dismissive - well aimed as it was.

chetney is sus. thats it. thats the take. i dont believe this old man when he said he trusts laudna. i think hes plotting

tl;dr - everyone tried to help laudna, no one tried to stop her which might be the only way to help her now. she needs someone to hold her back and call out when shes under the influence again.

[thedivineflowers]

HII!! My first time requesting so I feel a little silly, I love your works and as a former middle schooler I love thinking of these silly dudes as my brothers and I can imagine it really well through your writing and your humor is just like mine! In your parental terms fic I read Azul offer us a job at Mostro lounge and I honestly wanna know the daily activities and goofiness that happens on our work shifts😭 feel free to decline this I can’t wait for you deuces mom fic!<3🙈

Ofc ofc and I won't decline this masterpiece bb.

School night:

Clocking in at work:

When you clock in at work you gotta be early and then go to Azul's VIP room so you can tell him about the bitch who stole your test answers and eat your snack.

If you don't clock in at the right time you will be called and texted multiple times and hunted down by the twins who are just as worried about you as Azul.

When you're done with your snack you go change into your work uniform which is the dorm uniform but you have a lounge pin on your bowtie which has a tracker so Azul can keep an eye on you. And you also get your own version of Azul's coat because I know it's cold as fuck in that damn lounge.

Near beginning of shift:

If at any point you have to take a break not even one madol will be taken off your payment no matter how long your break is.

And ofc you goof off and you're allowed to be mean to the customers.

"Hey, I wanted clams not crabs!" A customer shouted at you. "AND I WANTED A SEA PONY, LIFE AINT FAIR." You shouted at the customer and threw a knife and fork on their plate.

You and Floyd are allowed to throw people out of the Lounge and you two mostly throw people out together.

You hold the person by their hands and Floyd holds them by their feet. You start swinging the person towards the opened lounge doors. "One..." You started "Two..." Floyd said "THREE!!" You both shouted at the same time and threw the ex customer out and closed the door with a satisfied sigh.

And sometimes if you can or want to Azul would host shows for you to entertain the audience and get more Madol 😈😈😈. And to make the school fear you. 🧍‍♂️

Middle of shift:

At this time you get a thirty minute break. You mostly get your breaks with the twins so they mostly take you to go feed the sea animals and try to help you with your homework if you have any. Or if you have nothing to do you go bother the other workers and scare them. More than half of them bitches are scared of your feral ass so you just gotta do some oogly boogly shit and theyll be saying sorry.

When your break ends you have to go back to work. But you are left in charge of the lounge when Jade and Floyd have to go observe a deal with Azul. So you mostly have customers complain to you while the twins are away and you get this time to mess with them if it's something stupid.

And most of the time is stuff about how they did not like the food when they just wanted to not pay for their food. They say this while they're paying and then demand a whole ass refund so you go into the secret monopoly money stash and give it to them saying it's limited edition madol. 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

And sometimes Azul himself will come in to see how things are doing and will chat with the guests but he's just watching and making sure that you're alright and don't need a break cause dawg you're a fucking kid working a whole ass job trying to get paid more than what Crowley gives you and you got all this stuff to do bro you couldn't even enjoy being a kid anymore when you first met the old ass man😔 😒.

Near the end of the shift:

At this time it's when the lounge starts closing up and people start leaving and this means extra money and coins to snatch 😈😈. You find about 500 madol lying around throughout the lounge and Azul says you can keep it most of the time.

And around this time Azul has you eat your dinner and calm down after working and you change out of your uniform right when the clock hits 9 (idfk so ima take a guess and say nine through ten at night). And when Azul makes sure your homework is completed and correct you'd be allowed to do whatever.

And sometimes it's too late to be walking out by yourself so Azul and the twins have you sleep in your own dorm room over there and if Grims with you he has his own bed and blankets next to yours. (It was demanded that the cat gets a bed by you or else you'd go bat shit around Azul's office. 🧍‍♂️) and you have your own matching pajama set that's similar to Azul so after you're done getting ready for bed you'd go in Azul's office sometimes to keep him company and drag him to his room because his eyebags look this close to being able to hold a whole fucking Walmart.

Weekend:

Clocking in:

It's morning time and you're ass is waking up at fucking 10 in the morning because you slept at 4 and almost pulled an all nighter.

You have to go to Azul's office when you wake up or else Azul will give you the day off to sleep and gaggle around.

And when you finish eating your breakfast and waking up you get to change into your uniform and choose what you want to do, paper work, keeping Azul company, or working with the twins.

You still get paid so 💃.

But sometimes Azul will have you turn into a merfolk by drinking a potion and you get to swim around the aquarium and spook the customers.

Middle of shift:

You get your break and your lunch to eat and it's free because you were able to say hello to Lucious the other day during the animal speech class.

And after that you get to do whatever you want or you could go and observe one of Azul's contract agreements thingies with the twins.

And if they try to like swing at Azul you get to go batshit and drag them outside while Azul cleans up his office for his next contract.

Near end of shift:

This time it's a little later which is 10 at night and you all clean up yiddy yadda but you get more extra change because you performed earlier.

Then you get to change out of your uniform once Azul tells you and you immediately have to take a shower then get ready for bed because you don't know when you're gonna sleep.

And obviously have no homework (🤮🤮 EEWWWWW) so you get stay up worh Azul and the twins watching national geographic, cooking shows, extreme cheapskates, boxing matches or basketball games. One of those. And you all end up sleeping on the couch in your room where the TV is (you're fucking spoiled) and sometimes you all would just sit around and gossip but no one knows what goes on in your room but the lights are always on until morning 😨. So far Floyd has taught you how to give a hug bigger than his 🤗. You've sent three people to the infirmary in less than two hours in school.

You obviously stay over because no one wants to go out that fucking late unless you're getting paid to go and rock someones shit 😒.

YEYEYEYEYEYEYYEY

I LOVE THOS SM JWHWBWJWJWJWM

Anyways I hope you like it. I know i was like kinda late I'm still working on the other ones so def look forward to those 😘😘😘

[olderthannetfic]

Starting a new wank; saw a post going around that forums were just as bad as discord servers now and personally im my experience I have to say discord servers are worse. Most forums I was in that had wank didnt coat their dipshittery in SJ language and it was all just public enough (just had to make an account to see the frisky stuff) that it kept people somewhat honest.

Discord servers.... Are not that.

Yeah a lot of forums are annoyingly dudebro-ey centrist shit and I WILL be getting misgendered in half of them because no nonbinary acceptance, but honestly that is starting to feel more appealing than the fucking discord hidden secret rules cant talk about the canon queer poly ship because one of the mods has headcanoned pedophilia out of it bullshit. Theyll just call me a fag for liking it and be done with it lol. Its literally safer than hanging out with other gay people at this point lmao.

--

Discords remind me more of mailing lists after it was easy to make a free one: so many little fiefdoms with so many tiny lords of the manor. Some mods were sane and nice and ran a tight ship... Some.

[fiveeeee]

Hello friend five, my beloved friend five, my knight in shining armor, tell me about gears ocd pretty please:3

:]!!!!! HELLOOO! glad u asked, i have many thoughts about gears ocd. in ice floes by tfv gears is shown to do some compulsions, namely handwashing is the primary one i remember in a way to like keep the site safe and get the feeling of all the horrible shit off. and like there its shown that it is something he has difficulty stopping without outside intervention.

this behavior to me makes sense for him to have developed as site director. site-19 is incredibly difficult and stressful place to live where even if u run it perfectly there is always the chance that u and everyone under u may die a horrible death at any moment. and i think gears ocd is rlly a response to that stress, his brains attempt at mitigating risk when hes already done all he can. this includes things like contamination ocd, his brain imagining that if he doesnt wash his hands right or cook his food right or wash his dishes right then he will die or get other ppl sick and theyll die and itll destabilize the site and everyone else will die.

and also he has the obsession where he thinks things he does will make ppl find him unrespectable. and that will make them not listen to him and then the site will fall apart and everyone will die. this includes compulsions around keeping spaces perfectly tidy, presenting himself perfectly well, not coming out/not having any evidence he might be gay. and so on.

he knows on some level a lot of it is irrational but also to him its always like what if u dont do it and everyone dies do u rlly want to risk it. so he does do it. i think it gets to the point that like after long enough, when the stress is bad enough, he has trouble like spending his free time doing anything but compulsions, spending hours in the shower or at the kitchen sink, until his hands crack and his skin has a psoriasis flare. and like he also struggles with food a lot, when things are worse he may struggle to eat any food that isnt prepackaged and unopened before he touches it. and even when its not at that point eating food other ppl cook is extremely anxiety inducing and he cant do it most of the time.

[destinysbounty]

I was gonna put this headcanon in a fic but i probably will never write it so instead im gonna share with all of you. Do with this idea as you wish

The fact that Pixal just up and built herself a new body in season 7 suggests she could have done it at any time, but chose not to. And i refuse to believe Zane and Borg didnt at least offer to give her a body - Zane admitted he preferred having her physical, im sure he at least suggested rebuilding her at one point. As he said in season 8, "The choice has always been yours, Pixal." Which leads me to believe she was the determining factor in her own reconstruction. She chose to stay in Zane's head, and Id like to think her reasons for doing so are similar to her reasons for hiding her identity as Samurai X: self-imposed guilt.

Let me explain.

Think of it like this. Pixal was built to assist, right? Even from the beginning of their relationship, she has been put in several positions of saving, protecting, and looking after Zane. Their first bonding moments involved her repairing him and later rescuing him from a junkyard metal shredder. Just as Zane has an integral need to protect built into the core of his existence, so too does Pixal have an integral need to assist.

When Zane gave her half his heart, he seriously disadvantaged himself in combat. Not only that, but it was his heart being unable to withstand the Golden Power that killed him in the end. Im sure there was at least some small part of Pixal that blamed herself for this. Not just because she might see this as a failure to uphold her reason for existence (helping people) - but also bc maybe if he'd had his whole heart during that fight, maybe if she'd just given it back to him, he might have had a fighting chance. It would have only marginally improved his chances of survival, but that small .003% probability increase is enough to make her blame herself. A probability that small is statistically irrelevant, but she cant help using it as an excuse to blame herself - or perhaps, to give her a rationalization for her survivor's guilt. Because the heart inside her, powering her, is the same heart Zane could have used to defend himself against the Golden Power, and the feeling of it inside her is unbearable.

Then Zane comes back, and she gets scrapped. And Zane forgets everything, and his mind is in shambles, and she has to help him piece himself back together again.

She blames herself for this, blames herself for his death and for the scrambled state of his memories that came as a consequence. So she figures, she caused this, so its her responsibility to help him fix his broken mind. Its her responsibility to assist.

So she stays in his head, where she can hold his memories together and keep his mind from falling apart. She insists she prefers it this way, likes being close to him, but deep down she longs for her physical freedom and hates herself for wanting more than she deserves.

Then Borg is kidnapped. And Zane is nonresponsive. And she has a choice. So she chooses to rebuild herself and leave Zane behind.

And...she feels good. Free. She's...happy about it.

But shes also deeply ashamed. Thinks she doesnt deserve to enjoy the experience of leaving Zane's head. He needs her, she's less useful to him outside his headset...and yet here she is, being Samurai X, having the absolute time of her life. She loves it, and she hates herself for loving it so much.

So out of shame, she tells no one. Shes worried theyll be just as disappointed in her as she is in herself.

And Zane...well, maybe theres a reason the Ninjigma didnt become a problem until after Pixal left his headset. Maybe she was the only thing holding him together, and the moment she left, all his memories started spiraling out of control. Maybe the events of Decoded turned out to be for the best, and allowed Zane to sort through and finish repairing his memories on his own, without relying on Pixal for help.

When Pixal reunites with Zane, shes worried he'll be upset. "Was i more...useful...inside the computer?" But to her surprise and delight, he prefers her in whatever form makes her happiest, not whatever form makes her most useful.

And Pixal, backed by the support of Zane and their friends, flourishes in her new role as Samurai X - not just in an assistive capacity, but exploring and embracing her interests in engineering and tinkering. Things are good, for a while.

But then Zane ends up in the Never Realm. And he comes home, and she learns what happened. She hears what Vex did, how she sabotaged his memories and twisted his own sense of self against him.

Once more, she blames herself. Begins to believe that maybe if she had still been in his headset, she could have prevented all that suffering.

Anyway, Pixal with survivors guilt and a raging hero complex my BELOVED