#((^^p sure I said something along those lines the last time I attempted a video but it's still true so I'll Say It Again lmfao))

[scrawlingskribbles]

undefined

So I’m not gonna finish what I originally planned for this but here take what I’d managed to scrape together before giving up lmfao~

[Insert Obligatory “Everybody Loves Raymond” Joke Here~ ¯\_(=ω=;)_/¯]

[matrixaffiliate]

Christmas in Quarantine

New Story! FFN and AO3

Quarantine has a way of making us want to have the best things in life, the things we can't have now. For Harry and Ginny, this involves hauling out the holy, playing carols, holiday treats, and a little of Christmas, right this very minute. Modern Muggle AU.

This little story was requested and prompted by several wonderful people on Tumblr. @gryffindormischief named the fic and wanted it written for Hinny. @petals-to-fish (who put up so many wonderful fics in one day for all of us and it really was Christmas) wanted to see a snowball fight, baking cookies, and mistletoe kissing. @inakindofdaydream (who adores Christmas after my own heart) wanted to see them almost getting caught by Santa Clause. And @shining-jul-of-hope who pointed out that it's nowhere near Christmas right now. :P I'm so grateful to these lovely people for sharing in the magic with me, and trusting me with their fabulous ideas!

For those of us not part of the UK, cornflour, apparently is what we call corn starch.

Christmas in Quarantine

It was strange, how little Harry Potter's life changed with the Pandemic, but as a blockbuster author who spent most of his time in his office writing the next installment of his fantasy novels, he was more or less socially distanced to begin with. What changed the most was that Ginny was home now. The football leagues were all canceled and that meant Ginny's professional career had been put on hold until further notice.

For the first week or so, it was fun. Harry put off the manuscript in exchange for keeping Ginny company in all the best ways. But then his publisher was emailing him about maybe getting more done since the world had shut down, and his editor started calling and so Harry reluctantly went back into work mode.

He figured Gin would be alright. She had the treadmill and other assorted workout equipment and her team did daily Zoom meetings now. When she wasn't goofing around with the team - he's walked into the kitchen when she's in those meetings, he knows what they're talking about - both their mothers liked to call and check-in, Marlene hosted a Kindle book club now, and Luna taught painting lessons through live videos, so Harry felt confident that Ginny didn't need him to be underfoot trying to "entertain" her.

But he started to wonder if he had underestimated what social distancing would do to his wife when Harry walked out of his office for a snack and heard the sound of... show tunes?

"Gin?" Harry poked his head into the sitting room.

"Alright, Potter?" Ginny was lounging on the sofa in front of the telly, watching something that looked horrendous on their high def screen.

"What's this?" Harry gestured to the telly.

"My mum always said I should watch the musicals she loved as a kid." Ginny shrugged. "And I've got time now, so I thought I'd give a few a go."

Harry chuckled, "You had me worried there. I've never heard you listen to show tunes and I wondered if you'd gone stir crazy."

Ginny rolled her eyes at him. "Don't let that book keep you past dinner again."

Harry shoved his hand in his hair. "I've got an alarm today, I'll be all yours the moment it goes off."

Ginny's returning smile left him wondering if maybe he ought to move that alarm up an hour.

After a week of Ginny watching the musicals her mum grew up with, Harry became accustomed to the show tunes playing from the sitting room. Gin would put on whatever one he assumed her mum had recommended and Harry would come out to assorted big band songs playing. It reminded him of going to his dad's parents' home when he was little, which felt oddly comforting given the way the world was attempting to implode upon itself.

And that was probably why Harry didn't think to question Gin's newfound obsession.

And when she started watching the same one at the start of every day, well Harry just figured that she really liked the music or the story, after all, the bits that Harry had seen were set during the Great Slump and he was starting to wonder if the world wasn't heading for another 21st-century repeat.

Harry was a bit taken aback after a week of her starting the day with the musical Auntie Mame to walk into the kitchen to grab lunch and find Ginny baking mince pies.

"Alright, Gin?"

Ginny grinned up at him from the pie crust she was rolling out.

"Thought I'd make us a bit of a treat."

Harry brushed some of the flour from her cheek.

"Mince pies?"

"You love mince pies." She set the rolling pin down to smear a floured hand across his cheek.

Harry tried to pull back but wasn't quick enough and laughed as he reached for a towel.

"You're right, so I guess the proper response should have been more along the lines of 'thank you' or maybe enthusiastic snogging?"

"I'll take the thank you now and the enthusiastic snogging after these pies are baked and cooled." Ginny kissed him and Harry moved closer to her, letting his lips move slowly against her, loving the way she melted against him.

"Thank you for making mince pies in April. I'll make sure that you get far more than enthusiastic snogging once I'm done working on this blasted novel."

Ginny bit down on his lip. "I can't wait."

Harry was surprised by Ginny baking mince pies. But the next morning he was downright floored to find their Christmas decorations out and mostly up when he stepped out to refill his tea.

"Gin? What on Earth?"

"We need a little Christmas, Harry." Ginny adjusted where she hung an ornament on their tree.

"It's April…" Was all he managed to say as he realized how much she'd managed to get done in the roughly three hours he'd been writing.

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!" Ginny laughed and smiled at the telly where Lucille Ball's character was talking about building a home for Jewish refugees.

"Right…"

Ginny moved back to the last couple of boxes of their Christmas decorations.

"I have a surprise at lunch. So don't work through it."

Harry blinked. "This isn't a surprise?"

"We need a little Christmas, Harry!" Ginny pulled the Santa hat or if the box and stuck it on her head.

And then it clicked.

"Are we in that musical?" He gestured to the telly.

Ginny huffed and dug into the box closest to her. "Well, I thought it looked like fun!"

"I can't sing," Harry grinned and moved to the boxes with Ginny. "But we could haul out the holy, maybe fill the stockings, turn on the carols."

Ginny's eyes filled back up with hope, "Bake Christmas cookies, have a snowball fight, watch for Santa?"

Harry slipped his hand into the box next to him as he smiled down at Ginny.

"I have no idea how we'll have a snowball fight, but yes, I'll go close out of my document for today and we'll have ourselves a little Christmas."

Then he lifted out what he'd been digging through the box for.

"But shouldn't we start our Christmas off right?" Harry held up the mistletoe over their heads.

Ginny chuckled, "Very smooth, Potter."

"I had to write a few romance pieces at university." Harry leant closer to her.

"Why have I never seen them?" Ginny smirked, leaning back away from him.

"They were rubbish. I tossed them the moment I had the grade." Harry finally pulled her close enough to capture her lips.

She laughed against him. "Go tell your boss you're out for the day while I go hang this above our bed."

Ginny snatched the mistletoe from his fingers and skipped to their bedroom.

By the time Harry had finished saving everything and putting a few ideas down in his notebook, Ginny was standing at his office door in her bikini with his swimming trunks in hand.

"What happened to Christmas?"

"I figured out how to have a snowball fight!" Ginny tossed him his trunks. "Come on!"

Then she headed for their balcony.

Harry couldn't change fast enough.

"Here," Ginny shoved a bowl at him as he stepped out the door to join her. "This is your ammunition, use it wisely because I'm not using any more of our cornflour for it."

"Cornflour?"

"Yes, and hair conditioner, which I've already told Amazon to send more of."

Harry laughed at how Ginny had moved their two patio chairs to make a battle line.

"I can't believe you managed to get us snow when it's 19 degrees out." Harry stuck his hand in his bowl of fake snow and grimaced at the texture.

"YouTube," Ginny shrugged and then jumped to one side of the chair battle line she'd created.

The moment Harry shut the door, she threw a ball of the 'snow' at this bareback and he grimaced at the way it felt sliding along his spine.

"This is an awful cross between that wretched Halloween slime we made in primary and store-bought decor snow."

"Wouldn't know," Ginny shrugged, "seeing as I haven't been hit by any of it."

Harry didn't move fast enough as she threw another 'snow ball' at him and it slid down his side. He groaned as the feeling of it crawling along his side sent shivers across his skin before reaching into his own bowl and tossing a large handful back at Ginny. She ducked and it splatted against the wall behind her.

There wasn't really much 'snow' between the two of them and when he missed Ginny by a hair for the third time, Harry decided to go all in. He jumped up on the patio chairs and pushed his foot on the back of the chair, tipping it over and taking his wife by surprise as he dumped his bowl over her head.

Ginny yelled and shoved him back onto the toppled chair as she threw the last of her snow at his face. Then she collapsed on top of him and laughed as they tried to keep the 'snow' from their eyes.

"I think a shower is in order." Harry pushed his caked glasses up into his hair. "And then what would you like to do next?"

"I have everything out for some Christmas cookies, icing and all." Ginny wiped some snow from her forehead before it could slide completely into her eyes.

"Baking and Christmas carols?"

"And maybe a bit of something else…" Ginny moved to kiss him but immediately backed away when more 'snow' tried to sneak into her eyes.

Harry laughed and pushed them to stand. "Lead a blind man to the shower, won't you?"

After a long shower, Harry wrapped his arms around Ginny's waist as carols played through her phone and she measured out the flour.

"Aside from the tank top, this feels like Christmas."

"Maybe we should spend Christmas in a warmer climate from now on," Ginny brushed a bit of flour on his nose.

"Our mums would probably hunt us down for something like that."

"Ooo, adventure and a holiday, sounds like a book waiting to be a bestseller."

Harry laughed and helped with the cookies and icing. Slipping his phone out here and there to jot down a few notes.

"I thought you told the boss you were off for the day." Ginny pouted as Harry set his phone down to ice another cookie.

"Just writing a few ideas down," Harry leant over and kissed her cheek.

"Typing, not writing," she teased.

"You said you had a surprise for me and to not work through lunch." Harry redirected their conversation.

"Well, I was going to use it to convince you to go along with having a bit of Christmas in April. But since you decided to jump on board without it, I'm saving it for tonight." She bit her lip.

"Tonight, eh?" Harry stood and moved to the fridge.

"Alright, Potter?" Ginny frowned.

"I know that look," Harry started pulling out sandwich fixings. "I'm going to need more than sugar cookies and icing for lunch if you've got that look."

Her laughter felt more genuine in that moment than it had since the world hit pause, and Harry grinned.

They really did need a little Christmas.

They spent the rest of the day 'virtual caroling'. For which his parents not only thanked them but joined in, taking the phone along as they dug up all the Christmas boxes and argued if they could thaw the ham overnight or if they should just make whatever they had on hand for a family Christmas dinner the next day hosted via Zoom meeting.

Harry scrounged up everything for a shepherds pie dinner and they put on A Christmas Carol after as they ate the iced cookies and drank hot chocolate for dessert.

It felt like Christmas.

Harry felt light and he felt happy and he could see the happiness and lightness in Ginny as well. They definitely needed a little Christmas in all of this pandemic insanity.

"Thank you," he kissed her hairline.

Ginny smiled up at him, snuggling closer to his side. "Thank you for being on board. This has been so much fun. I forgot about how awful it is out there."

Harry kissed her, letting himself indulge in the softness of her lips, the taste of chocolate and sugar on her lips.

"Do I still get to see that surprise?" Harry kissed along her jawline to the spot behind her ear that made her breath catch.

Ginny laughed, "Wait here."

She pushed up and slid out of the room with a confidence that made it a strenuous exercise in self-control for Harry to not follow her out of the sitting room.

To distract himself he took out his phone and jotted down a few more notes.

"I might just throw your phone in your office and lock the door."

Harry quickly locked said phone and tossed it on the side table.

Then he looked up.

Ginny had on a Father Christmas cloak, white wig, and a set of glasses that had the white beard attached.

"Wow…"

Ginny laughed and undid the belt that held the robe shut.

Harry's initial confusion dropped instantly as his wife's body was revealed, no imagination needed.

"We're losing the beard," he smirked and moved to gently pull the glasses-beard combo off Ginny's face.

"What Father Christmas doesn't have a long white beard?" She teased as her fingers moved along his waistband.

Harry kissed her slowly as his hands moved slower against her freckled skin.

"The one who is actually my wife," he pulled back before sweeping Ginny into his arms and carrying her back to their bed, and the mistletoe hanging over it.

The sun long set and the moon high in their bedroom window, Harry waited patiently until Ginny's breathing became even and he was sure she was fast asleep. As quietly as he learned to move when he was a child spying on his Christmas gifts, Harry snuck out of their bed and down to his office.

It took the better part of an hour to get it how he wanted it. Then it took another half-hour to get the printer to print it the way he wanted. And another half-hour after that to find the freaking wrapping paper. But after roughly two hours of trying to be silent, Harry snuck into the sitting room to set the gift under the tree.

He went to grab this phone from the side table when a cloaked image came into his peripheral vision and he almost cried out as all the anxiety of a child being caught by Father Christmas came rushing up at him from years as a boy trying to spy on Christmas gifts.

"Why are you out here?" Ginny's groggy voice sounded and Harry felt relief rush through him like a tidal wave.

"Just grabbing my phone. I forgot to plug it in to charge while we slept."

"Come to bed, you're how I don't freeze to death at night."

Harry slipped his arms around Ginny and led them back to bed with a smile on his face.

He hadn't been caught by Father Christmas, but more importantly, his wife would still get her surprise on Christmas morning.

And just like childhood, Harry awoke far too early, and far too excited to go back to sleep. Though rather than for what he would receive, it was for what he was giving.

"Gin," he nuzzled her hairline and kissed her cheek.

Ginny made a sound that was a cross between a moan and a grunt.

"Don't you want to see what Father Christmas left for you?"

"I'm Father Christmas and I didn't leave anything out because it's not actually December the 25th." She mumbled into her pillow.

Harry chuckled. "Let's just go have a look."

Ginny blinked her eyes open and frowned. "Only if I get to come right back to bed."

Harry put his hand over his heart. "I promise, well go see if there are any surprises and then come right back to bed."

"Fine," Ginny pushed up from the bed, her Father Christmas robe slipping from her shoulders. "But if this is how you're going to be with children then we're rethinking our future plans."

Harry laughed and forced himself not to run full tilt down the hall and leave his adorably sleepy wife in the dust.

He held his breath as Ginny moved to the tree and his lone gift that sat wrapped below its branches.

She turned to look up at him, bewildered, "What's this?"

"Open it," he shrugged.

Ginny pulled the wrapping away and slid the booklet from the manilla envelope he'd used to hold it.

"A Holiday and an Adventure," She read aloud. "Harry, what is this?"

Harry stuck a hand in his hair. "Well since you're not on the team for the foreseeable future, and you've always got the best ideas when I'm stuck in a story, I thought maybe, maybe you'd like to write a book together, you and me. All those pages in the booklet are the notes I was jotting down all day yesterday. And I've organized them out the way I do with my novels. If you like the idea and we finish the story, we could send it over to my editor. See what she thinks."

Ginny looked up from the booklet, eyes wide. "You want to write a book with me?"

Harry smiled, "I kind of already do. You're my sounding board and you find more of my plot holes than my editor does. So I guess I'm really asking you to be an active participant so we can put your name on the cover too."

Ginny looked back down at the booklet before launching herself at him. Harry caught her and managed to spin them around so he fell on the sofa and not his back.

"So is this a yes?" Harry chuckled as he kissed her hairline.

Ginny kissed him enthusiastically before jumping up. "Come on! I want to start right now!"

Harry snagged her around the middle before she could go running off. "What happened to wanting to go right back to bed?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Ginny laughed, "do you have any idea how badly I've wanted some real control in your novels?"

"Now you have a story to be in control of." Harry kissed her. "Happy Christmas, Gin."

Ginny's smile shone like the rising run out their sitting room window. "Happy Christmas, Harry."

[monochromemedic]

“Get the hell away from me you freak-” the man’s exclamation was cut short as a wet force shot into his legs, his body slamming against the pavement with a loud thud. A direct slime bullet shot, and the last of the gang was contained within their gooey prisons. I sighed in relief, lowering my arm. ‘I should quip, that’s what all the good heroes do right?’ “You kiss your mother with that mouth?” I said softly before realizing that no one, not even the gathering crowd could hear that. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?!” I repeated before realizing how weak that was. Baby steps... just needed to not show my face around here for a week so they’d all forget how much I fucked up. I rubbed my neck, fingers gliding along the cryo collar as it released a blast of cold air, waves of relief flooding my body. The crowd erupted in clapping, something that startled me back to the situation at hand. A small rising gang had been causing havoc over the city, something larger heroes would only keep their eyes on before attempting to resolve. They were there to help with big tasks, real villains or aliens, something that would cause real devastation. It made sense but that didn’t mean that some real low lives could sneak under the radar and cause some damage as long as they spaced what they were doing enough or kept it the damage to a minimum.  The Graveyard Gang was playing with that line and it was obvious that if it wasn’t stopped some hero would have to come down and take them out themselves. If not for me. I raised a hand sheepishly, waddling to the side of the street to meet the crowd that formed around me. “Hey... hello. Did someone call the police already? Is everyone ok?” My words were met by the sound of sirens drawing near, a large news van trailing not too far behind. A frantic woman nearly rolled out of the van, mic at the ready as she bolted through the crowd, ushering a small man lugging a camera to follow her. “Hi, hello, out of the way, Channel 9 news. Hi, I’m Sandra Stevens of Channel 9 news would you mind giving an interview about the heroic deed you just committed?”  Her words were fast and rehearsed, like she had either done this a million times or dreamt about doing it so much, the words burned into her brain. Her mic was pushed into my face, knocking against my chin and drawing a thin strand of goo onto the mic. The woman didn’t seem to notice however, her eyes laser focused on me. “I... I su-sure. I’m just not very good on camera-” “Don’t worry honey, editors make everyone look good. Cameron! Start rolling, everyone please clear the place we need a nice shot of...what do you call yourself, Miss?” “G...Grey Matter.” “Grey.” she repeated, a eyebrow raised in silent judgement. “Well Grey Matter, hope you’re ready for your 5 minutes of fame because we’re rolling.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My fingers ran across the laptop keys, restarting the video again for the 11th time in a row. I couldn’t stop, my first interview, my first well known appearance as a hero. And the interview was... terrible. The comments didn’t say that but I couldn’t help but notice how nervous I looked, how much I stared into the camera at times, the way I showed my powers and how one guy said it was like a bad hentai. I knew that but god when others said that made everything feel ten times worse. However other commenters were nice, saying how cool I looked, how good it was to see another hero on the streets, taking care of baddies that the others didn’t get. I felt like my ego was a metronome switching from feeling like a god to feeling like a dumbass. I readied my finger to press the replay button as the video neared the end when a knock came to my door. Strange, I didn’t expect anyone, and not many people knew where I lived. Maybe it was a neighbor coming to congratulate me? Not like I could easily disguise myself and not many other people had the consistency of tar. I slid my pants on and walked to the door, opening it to a face almost 3 inches away from  mine. “Hello-” I jumped back, arms raising and balling like huge slings, ready to attack only for them to deflate and fall to my waist as I realized who it was. “You really do stretch! It’s like you’re one big sticky hand toy. Neat, Neat...” Plastic Man commented, his neck extended to look at me further. “Mind if I come in? I’d like to talk.” “I... Y-yes of course Mr... Mr. Plastic Man I... Um.” I could feel myself beginning to melt as I went to close the door behind him, gesturing to my messy house before him. He towered over everything easily, walking past my fridge and ducking to get into my living room to observe more of the house, making eye contact with the laptop. He smiled widely to himself before shifting his eyes back at me. “Please, Mr. Plastic Man was my father, just call me Plas. And I assume you know about me from the way your fangirling?” “I... yes of course you’re an inspiration to me ever since I became like this. The way you quickly maneuver and creatively problem solve with an air of ease is inspiring. Not to mention the way your so cheerful with the public, it puts alot of people at ease, I...starting researching you because we have such similar powers.. not in a weird way just, how you do things.” I rambled trying to literally hold myself together as I felt my body begin to dribble to the floor. “I’m sorry can you excuse me-” “Go ahead, you need... help there?” He asked as I sped past him to my room, grabbing the collar and placing it around my neck. In an instant it came to life, a release of cold air wafting over my body. I returned to the living room, head craning to look at the tall hero. “No thank you, I’m alright. Sometimes when I get nervous or overheated I start to lose my form. The cold from the collar helps me keep me together.” He lowered his head, neck stretching once again to look closer at the device. “I get that, hell sometimes on summer days I gotta put myself in a freezer and become a Plas Pop or else I nearly melt down the storm drain. That’s just another thing we have in common I guess. And that’s what I came here to talk to you about.” I swallowed hard, his hand gesturing to the opened interview on the laptop. “Everyone’s been talking about the girl who took down the Graveyard Gang and word gets around fast.  So fast that even I got word of it almost as soon as it aired. Boy was I surprised when I saw you on camera, showing of a little of what you could do. Another stretcher like me! And one who’s new to the game, a fresh face. It got me thinking.” He paused, crossing his arms as he glanced towards the ground. “Things have been quite in the League, least for ol’ Plas. Much as I love my job and helping the universe, seems like I’m always backup number 54 on the list of who to call when the world’s gonna end. Which isn’t bad but it leaves a guy with alot of time on his rubber hands. So I was thinking maybe I should give the whole mentor thing a shot, take someone under my wing. Just haven’t got the chance to meet someone I could actually teach anything to, till I saw your little stunt. So what do you say? Willing to make what the Batman described as ‘A horrible decision that no one would agree to’?” This was crazy. A proposal like this? And so soon? Learning under one of the League, one of the bests? “Yes, I’d be honored to be mentored by you Plastic Man- er... P-plas. I hope I don’t disappoint you, um... you know I can’t shapeshift like you right. I can’t turn into lions or trucks... I... I can’t do alot of those things actually, just basic stretching and modifications.” “Hm? Oh well that’s ok, besides I didn’t expect you to be exactly like me, that’d just be crazy thoughts. Also that’d make you my son, and that’s just weird. You got something else that I don’t have, you got that goo shot. I can’t shoot bullets of myself at people and you said you can set up traps and knock people out in a hail of slime. That’s kick ass, we just gotta embrace that side of you and you’ll be up there with Superman at the table, talking about what multiverse crisis was your favorite.” He grinned, lowering himself to my level and wrapping an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close against his body. I felt my face grow warm as I looked away from him, my chest pounding despite the lack of heart in my breast. Now he was touching me? Telling me how cool I was? I felt myself begin to drip again, knees beginning to buckle. “Y-you really think so?” “I know so. You got spunk kid, we just gotta polish you up and you’ll be golden, Pony Boy.” The force of his palm hitting my back sent me jolting forward, his shadow looming over me. “How about you meet me outside of your place, tomorrow. 1pm. We’ll assess your abilities and work from there. Sound good? Too bad, crime never waits. I’ll see you there.” And with surprising grace he dipped out of my apartment, leaving me like it was just a frantic dream. If it wasn’t for the sting from his palm I’d assume I was merely daydreaming, but it was real. Plastic Man and me, working together. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Come on, haven’t you ever seen Spider-Man. Leap of faith!”  “I don’t know if you’re legally allowed to reference that...” I muttered, eyeing the large gap between buildings before staring back at Plas. “I haven’t really done much uh... traversal practice. What if I fall and hit the ground I... I mean I don’t think I can die like that but-” “I won’t let you fall, I promise you. I’d be a real bad trainer if the first person I mentored became a permanent stain on 4th street. You got this!”  Plastic Man grinned widely, flashing a thumbs up and stepping back. His words echoed in my head, as I stepped back a few feet, already making my plan as I dragged a line of slick slime in front of me.  ‘I’ll run forward, using the slime to propel me even further to close the gap. Then when I get as far as I can, I’ll stretch my arms out, attach to the building and slingshot my way up to the roof.’ I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, waiting until every last bit of air left my lungs.  And then I ran. My feet slid against the slime trail like a skater on the ice as I raced towards the edge. Before I could even attempt to jump, I hit the edge, my body fling more downward then I expected. I felt the air leave my lungs, my head snapping up towards the roof top I was aiming for and snapped my arm forward, splatting against the brick a few feet down. Damn it, Damn it, I got this. I got this. I felt the tension build in my arms, threatening to snap under the pressure. Just when I thought it was going to be too much, it released. And I found myself ascending just as fast I was falling. Up against the building. A wave of pain shot through my body as I was bashed against the wall, slowly feeling the way my body spread and slowly began to peel away from the window. Just as I felt the last few strand of myself start to detach, I felt a warmth wrap around my body, lifting me up to the roof of the building. “Hey you good? I never saw anyone but me rubber band that hard into a building before.” I tried to nod my head, wheezing and groaning as I laid on my back, staring up at the titan of a man before me. “I’m ok... just the wind got knocked out.” “Mm, yeah I’m not surprised. I mean if anything I guess we found out that a fall from here would be a-ok. Painful but... if you can survive going mach one into a building a fall should be no sweat.” He stretched his arms and sat down beside me, hands forming something just out of my range of vision to mess with. “Take your time, and we can try again. Maybe something with less of a gap to fall down.” I closed my eyes, a sickening knot forming in my stomach. I fucked up the jump, and fucked it up bad. Was he disappointed? Rethinking his decision to choose me? He had been teaching me for 2 weeks now, and I couldn’t help but think that I wasn’t enough by the way he’d sometimes look away, seem upset, maybe wanting to be anywhere else but here. My body slumped forward, lingering pain in my core. “Plastic Man?” His head cocked to the side, eyes unidentifiable behind his goggles. But I couldn’t bring myself to ask him what he thought of me. The words caught in my throat, my fear too great to hear the truth. I didn’t want to seem too pitiful, too... “I’ll try better next time.” “That’s what I like to hear.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “GM what were you thinking?! You know you can’t handle that kinda heat, why did you head into a burning building?! No one was in there! Everyone was safe!” I ducked my head away from Plas’ rage, watching the soot swirl around the remains of my arm. I was hurt bad, nearly melted and burned in a raging fire me and Plas tried to contain. But I was careless, eager to please a man I thought was losing interest in me. Despite the fact the building was clear I thought if I could help put out the fire before the firefighters came he would praise my boldness. But I only ended up making a fool of myself, having to had Plas rush into the building and collect me himself. He didn’t fair well himself, parts of him still goopy from harsh heat damage. “Look at me when I’m talking to you! Why did you do that.” His eyes were angry, his usual smile twisted into a disappointed frown. “I wanted to impress you-” “Impress me?! Yeah your new power to turn into a corpse was real freaking impressive Jenna. Why the hell are you trying to impress me like that-” “Because I don’t think I’m good enough to be taught by you!” I exclaimed, shocked by how I raised my voice at him. “I... I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to... I just... I feel like ever since you started to mentor me I haven’t been good enough. I’ve always been messing up and-and I feel like if I don’t do anything to impress you, you’ll just abandon me and I’ll fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I-I look up to you so much, and I feel like it’s such a privilege that you chose me I... I feel like it’s a mistake. And so I’m just waiting for you to realize that and I feel like you’re catching on so I had to do something to make sure that you didn’t fuck up with your choice.” Plas’ face immediately dropped, a look of concern replacing his scold. “Christ... I gave you Imposter Syndrome. Is this what the other people with sidekicks have to deal with... Woozy was never like this. Er...well, no he was he just didn’t have powers.” He bit his bottom lip, and sighed, inching to take a seat beside me. “I’m not good at this teaching stuff, I don’t know if you noticed. So if I made you feel like you weren’t impressing me, I swear it isn’t true. I remember when I was first getting the hang of being a hero. I was dog shit. The amount of times I did somethings stupid or tried to impress others without knowing what I was doing myself, god... and when I was part of the league? The first month was a hell, I didn’t get anything done. I still mess up, I just make it seem like I don’t cause I play it off. We all screw up, even Superman. I would know, I was there for a couple of those times, etched em right into my head.” He glanced away, tapping the side of his head where the words ‘Pantsing Incident of 05’ appeared.  “Point is we all started somewhere and we were all ass at it. You think Flash got the hang of dodging every car while he ran down the road? No, it was just that no one remembers those times cause he’s  too busy kicking ass now adays that no one cares that one time he ate asphalt. No one accept me who uses it to blackmail him occasionally because I’m petty and like to knock him down a peg every once in a while. You’re doing great.” I could feel the tears dripping down my face as he spoke, using my palm to desperately hide my emotions from him. His arm wrapped around my shoulder in a cautious, yet caring touch. “Can we just not... run into burning buildings next time we’re trying to prove something? I might not be able to get you out next time.” “Yeah, of course sir. Thank you, for believing in me, after I did that, and that you believed me in the first place.”

[lowlywriter]

Win Me Over

Been working on this fic for a few days, and I finally had the motivation to finish it! It’s super fluffy because I’m really happy. I went to a cooking competition with my classmates and our school ranked second place, Provincially. 

Anyways, a pick-up line fic because I couldn’t sleep without imagining Colby delivering stupidly cute pickup lines like the adorable idiot he is at random times.

Warnings: Swears 

Word Count: 2,985

It had all started the day you were finally in one of Colby’s videos for the first time. It had been a joke. His video was a girlfriend tag- despite the reality that you guys were not in fact actually dating. Interested in each other, yes, but nothing was set in stone.  

You hadn’t even been focused on what was happening. Colby had told you he needed a couple minutes to find some questions before staring down at his phone- so you took out your phone as well.  

“Is your name Google?” Colby questioned into the silence. You looked up from your phone, seeing if he was addressing you or one of his roommates, but he was still focused on his phone. It took you a second to process his words, contemplating what you thought you heard. “Because you’ve got everything I’ve been searching for.”

You stared at him for a second, the cogs in your mind turning as you attempted to make sense of the situation. Colby glanced up from his phone, having not been looking at you whilst he spoke. Finally, when your mind caught up to you, you started giggling at him- and then you were full out cackling.  

The way he’d delivered the terrible pick-up line had you hunched over, stomach aching as you laughed. It had been so serious. He’d read it without glancing up, clearly not expecting quite the reaction he’d gotten from you.  

“N-no, Colby!” You wheezed, eyes tearing up as you laughed- physically in pain from the sudden outburst of giggles. “That was terrible!”  

As you wheezed a couple breaths, laughs in between, you could see a huge smile spreading across Colby’s face. His eyes shining with mirth and a hint of evil peeking through.  

This would be the start of something either very good, or very bad.

---

Shopping was fun. You and Colby had a mutual like of shopping. There was nothing better than just getting in Colby’s car and heading out for a meal and hitting up the mall.  

You’d both been slowly collecting bags from the places you shopped. Colby was quite the shopper, and he could easily keep up with you. He usually had more fun then you shopping- he did have more to spend, but he always bought you nice things. Even if you weren’t an actual couple, the two of you still acted couple-y in public. You had to admit, the two of you were practically dating, each just childishly dragging out all the actually talking and stuff.  

“Y/NNNN” Colby whined at your side, dragging out your name, and sticking his bottom lip out in a pout.  

“Colbyyyy,” you returned, copying him with a smile. You had a couple bags, having only just gotten out of the third store the two of you had planned on visiting. Colby had a couple more then you, holding all of them in his right hand.

“Your hand looks super heavy.” Colby said, “here, let me hold it for you.” It happened fast, he slipped his hand in yours and intertwined your fingers with his. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze as he pulled you along with him.  

Your brain threatened to stop you from moving to process what had just happened, but Colby dragged you along to your next destination.  

“Now, now, Mr. Brock. That was pretty smooth.” You told him once you’d finally had a second to process his words, squeezing his hand in approval as you fell into step with him again. It had been super smooth, and you had to admit it. He tilted his head towards you, casting a small smile.

“I know,” he answered, “did it impress you?”

“Nope,” you popped the ‘p’, “you’ll have to try a lot harder than that, buddy.”

---

There weren’t many video games you liked to play. You could watch other people play them, but actually playing them, yourself didn’t occur often. Today was one of those days you decided to play a bit. You and Katrina had settled down in the living room to play a few rounds of some game Kat had suggested.  

Devyn was sitting off to the side, hanging out with the two of you, but not actually playing the game.  

The men of the house had been outside the last time you’d seen them- recording something for Jake’s channel if you remembered correctly.  

The sliding glass doors were open a bit so Navi and Buddy could join them outside as they pleased. The sounds of the boys goofing off and acting out in silly voices travelled into the house on occasion, causing the three of you to giggle at them.  

You’d been quite focused on your game, attempting to beat Kat who clearly played more then you had and was effortlessly kicking your ass. You didn’t bother looking up when the sliding glass door was pushed open all the way, and the guys trailed into the kitchen.  

You did, however, glance up when you felt a presence behind you. You’d been perched comfortably with your back against the arm rest of the couch, legs up on the cushions, folded up under you with your torso turned towards the television.  

You quickly focused back on the game when you noted that it was just Colby standing behind you. You felt his chin drop onto the top of your head. You lifted a hand off your controller, chancing losing control over your character in order to swat him away.  

Your attempt was futile as he simply moved to rest his chin on your shoulder and watch you play for a second.  

“Do you like sales?” Colby leaned closer; lips resting against the base of your neck, whispering quietly to you. You were very focused on the game, choosing to ignore him for a second while you bashed buttons on the controller. Of course, he chose the moment when you were struggling the hardest to open his mouth, “because if you’re looking for a good one, clothing is one-hundred percent off in my room...”

Your fingers stilled on the controller, his words slowly short circuiting your brain. Your jaw dropped, cheeks flushed with colour and your eyes widened.  

“Colby!” you gasped, turning slightly to push his smug face away from your head. “Gosh!” You groaned, letting the controller fall from your hands so you could cover your burning face. You knew Devyn and Kat staring at you, and you could practically feel the smugness radiating from Colby.  

Colby laughed, leaning close once more to press a kiss to your neck before standing straight, and finally following the rest of the guys into the kitchen to probably continue filming (guessing by the screams and high-pitched whines).  

“What did he say?” Kat questioned, looking your direction with a knowing look. The game was over, and Kat had been victorious since you’d lost all brain functions when Colby leaned over your shoulder. Devyn smirked, sending you a knowing look of her own.

“Another pickup line,” you laughed, cheeks finally starting to return to their regular colour, “he’s getting better. God, that one just shocked me.”

Devyn laughed, “you two should just date already. Make it official.”

“I agree, you guys are so cute together,” Kat agreed with a nod of her head. “Think of the double dates, Y/N- me, you, Sam and Colby. That would be amazing!”

“We already do that,” you reminded Kat, laughing as you prepared for Kat to start a new game.

“Yeah, but it would be, like, an official double date.”

“Well, when one of his pickup lines impresses me, we can go on a date,” you giggled. The longer you held off, the more pick up jokes he’d come up with. A girls gotta have some fun, and what’s more fun than unexpected pickup lines?

---

“Y/N, Y/N!” Colby ran into the room. You were in the kitchen, making sure the pizza rolls you were cooking for the group didn’t burn. Sam, Corey, Aaron, Jake, Devyn and Kat were all in the living room. Everyone was conversing about videos they wanted to make, and who they’d want to be in each video, as well as a few trap house skits for Jake’s channel. Aaron was also playing Fortnite, so that held a lot of the group’s attention.  

“What, Colbs?” you questioned, looking up from reading a random paper of someone’s video idea that had been left on the counter. There was always something new or interesting in the kitchen, whether it was the whole kitchen being covered in a layer of tinfoil or a huge ass snake taking up residence on the counters.

“Would you grab my arm?” Colby asked hurriedly, holding his arm out. You looked at him questioningly. It wasn’t the weirdest thing you’d ever been asked to do in the trap house, but it was random. Something in the back of your mind reminded you that you were in the trap house, and everything usually had some sort of backlash. Especially during the prank wars.  

“Uh,” you reached over, uncrossing your arms in the process. You grasped around Colby’s forearm, squeezing for a second, “like this?”  

“Yes, perfect!” Colby grinned; eyes bright as he eyed your face. You returned a small smile, squeezing once more before letting him go and resuming your lean against the counter. Colby didn’t do anything but beam at you for a second, eyes bright as his eyes scanned up your body.

“Now I can go tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel!” Colby grinned, a sly look in his eyes as he turned on his heels and jogged out of the kitchen and into the living room. You blushed brightly as you listened to Colby doing just that in the living room: “Guys, you’ll never believe it, but I was just touched by an angel in the kitchen!”

You lifted your hands to cover your face, groaning lightly with an embarrassed smile on your face. He was having a good ol’ time teasing you- just as you were having fun dragging out your answer to his pickup lines.  

---

“Why does the fire smell like shit?” Jake questioned. Everyone was sitting around the campfire in the backyard of the trap house. With Jake, Sam, Colby, Corey, Aaron, Devyn, Kat and yourself, who had finally arrived, and the fact that there was a total of five lawn chairs, there simply weren’t enough chairs for everyone.  

You’d been invited over by Colby for a session of marshmallow roasting and smores buildings with the roommates. The sky was dark, but clear and it was just chilly enough for a fire to be relevant on this specific Tuesday evening.  

“You keep burning plastic in it,” Sam glared, “it’ll burn off, give it some time.”

You giggled to yourself as you listened to the conversation, moving slowly into the backyard to join the group. It was never a dull moment when the group was all together.  

“Hi, Y/N!” Colby greeted you first. You had texted him when you pulled into the driveway, so he knew you’d only be a few minutes, and he was definitely waiting for you.  

“Hi, Y/N,” the group repeated, monotone and sounding as if you’d just introduced yourself at an alcoholics anonymous meeting. You couldn’t help but laugh at them- which in turn made them all laugh as well.

“Hi, everyone,” you smiled. Conversation continued amongst the group, so you took the chance to scan the group. You looked for anywhere to sit, since being the last to arrive meant that every chair was already taken. Colby, Kat, Corey, Aaron and Jake all had seats. Sam was sitting on the ground in between Kat’s legs and Devyn was sitting on the arm rest of Corey’s chair.  

You moved quickly to sit beside Sam on the ground. It seemed as if it was the easiest option, and you really didn’t mind sitting on the ground for a bit. You moved in between the semicircle of the lawn chairs and the flickering flame to make it to a safe spot- only to squeak as something- someone, grabbed your hips and pulled you down.

“Colby, you ass,” you whined, heart beat speeding up in fear. You curled into Colby’s lap, drawing your legs up and dropping them over Colby’s legs. You settled your shoulder against him (almost diagonally in his lap), leaning close and stealing his body heat. You’d thought you were getting pushed at first, and an open flame is certainly not the best place to be horsing around.  

“Sorreh, sorreh,” Colby hummed, voice raised an octave to get a laugh from those around.  

The group once again fell into the easy conversation. Some roasted marshmallows, others just hung around the heat. You really liked when the whole trap house was like this. No one was being too much to make a video entertaining. Conversations could be normal and fade in and out- not needing to be a constant for viewers entertainment, and everyone was just calm and collected.  

You snuggled closer to Colby, full of a couple smores that Colby made for you, as well as a few bites of his.  

“You know what you’d really look beautiful in?” Colby leaned close to your ear; voice low. You knew only you could hear him; he was being very quiet, and the flames of the fire were crackling loudly into the calm night.  

“What would I look beautiful in?” You questioned quietly. You’d known you guys would be out by the fire, so you’d worn one of Colby’s sweatshirts that you’d maybe stolen and a pair of sweats. Colby leaned back in the chair, and you followed, resting against him completely as if he were the back of the chair. He didn’t respond for a second, everything besides the flames silent.

“My arms,” Colby said finally, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush against him.  

He paused, studying you curled up in his lap, wrapped tightly in his arms, “I was right,” he added softly into your hair.  

Andddd, once again Colby had you blushing. He always whispered the sweetest (or dirtiest) pickup lines he had. These ones were the special ones, because they were the ones he didn’t want to share with his friends. He was whispering them just to you, something for the both of you and no one else. He was so cute, always finding cute moments to say them- which only added to it.  

Colby sent you a small fond smile, then turned his head to join in the conversation starting with his friends. You didn’t say much, just enjoyed the atmosphere.

---

“Did it hurt when you fell?” Colby questioned. He was turned towards his computer, editing his newest video. He had his earphones on, but only one ear was covered, and the ear closest to you had the earphones behind his ear instead of on it.  

You were lounging on his bed. The two of you had planned on going out for dinner, but his editing was apparently taking a tad bit longer than he thought it would’ve. It never bothered you to just lay in Colby’s bed or lounge on his couch while he worked.  

“From heaven?” You snorted, flopping over so you were laying on your side, facing towards Colby’s desk. “Come on, Colby- that's not very original. Yes, it hurt.” That pickup line was over used, and you were surprised Colby was even trying it after all these creative ones he’d found that you’d only heard once or twice- or even never before.  

“No,” Colby swiveled in his chair to face you, a cheeky grin on his face, “did it hurt when you fell for me?”  

You opened your mouth to respond, thinking hard about his words- but nothing would come out but a sputter of letters.    

“You just admitted you’ve fallen for me!” Colby cheered, taking off his headphones and waltzing towards his bed, a huge shit eating grin on his face. “That only took a few weeks, but I finally won!”

“That wasn’t a win!” You argued, sitting up as Colby kneeled on the bed beside you.

“Yahuh!” Colby laughed, “you said yes! ‘yes, it hurt!’” Colby repeated, leaning towards your face. “Awh, babe, I’m upset it hurt when you fell for me,” Colby mocked teasingly, blinking his eyelashes closed in a pouty way.

You pouted, crossing your arms across your chest. It was probably time for your little cat and mouse game to end. You’d waited out for long enough, and you were tired of not being able to call Colby yours.

“Fine, you win. You won me over with your stupid, but super adorable pickup lines,” you sighed, flopping back against the pillows. Colby grinned like the Chesire cat, crawling over and settling himself with his knees on either side of your waist and his hands on either side of your head.

“Finally. Do I have to ask for you to be my girlfriend, or is it a mutual agreement?”

“Mutual.” You decided, figuring you’d made him suffer more than enough for a couple days, “I have a deal for you though, boyfriend.”  

“Oh yeah?” Colby raised an eyebrow, lowering his face to be closer to yours, “and what might that be, girlfriend?”

“I’ll give you a kiss. If you don’t like it, you can return it.” Colby stared at you shocked for a second before he laughed loudly, finally pressing a kiss to your lips. Your pickup line game was on point.  

“I’ll return it...  but I might need a few more trials before I decide if I actually want to keep it.”

“You’re an idiot,” you laughed, pushing his chest away as he laughed as well.  

[adziedoodle]

Hey Adzie! What are your thoughts on people, such as ImAllexx, accusing the Phandom of essentially ruining Dan's life and preaching that we basically shouldn't knowledge their bond/potential relationship at all, if you don't mind sharing?

(just want to apologise for all the commas and dashes -  I honestly have no idea when the right time to use one is i just do it when my brain pauses in a sentence and it makes it easier for me to process what i’m saying when reading back ahaha)

–

I don’t really want to watch a monetised discussion video to Dan’s coming out video tbh. From what I’ve seen others who have watched it and have saide about what it involves, it seems Alex is jumping on a misinformation and inexperienced-of-the-phandom-history train to voice an opinion and create more talk about and in a community that already has a bad public image from (understandably not so good) past behaviours of certain individuals/groups of individuals. 

Again, I doubt this was Alex’s intention, and I think without proper pieces to the puzzle, it’s easy to fill the gaps with your own opinions and speculations of the people involved. Heck I may be being a bit hyprocritical here for not .. watching the video but… err … overall, I mainly trust Nora’s @pseudophan​ judgement that she expressed in her reply tweets here because it’s my understanding she’s a fan of Alex’s videos usually and I feel like she’d be able to shape an opinion  regarding his content and new video better than I could :). I also agree with others who are adding to the points Nora gave (the majority seem to be saying this).

–

Speaking outside of Alex’s video - There’s been this weird rise of people saying stuff along the lines of ‘DON’T FETISHISE DAN AND PHIL, STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT PHAN’ … and I just wanna add my two cents…

1) in regards to fetishising - I want to argue the majority of folks NOW aren’t sexualising dan/phil/their relationship - from what I’ve seen, solely on twitter mind you, it’s just folks reminiscing or being reminded of on old content that’s already public and applying a new context now that we know more about Dan, and from this, enjoying the idea of two, now out, queer people being happy together (in interactions or in a relationship) ☺♡ That can sadly still be a rarity in this world we live in, so it’s honestly just… heartwarming to see! People should be allowed to enjoy that!

I think I’ve mentioned this before already, but I speak for myself as a queer person when I say I’ve always resonated with both Dan, Phil, their experiences, and their seemingly growing harmonious, happy and safe relationship, even before I really knew I was queer myself, and now I have more knowledge about who they are and what that means to them themselves, it ultimately shines a more validating light over all of what they’ve done together and shared with us ♡ 

I believe if others like me wanna express that joyful reassurance (or any other feeling, or just general joy for dan and phil) in the form of a fan fic, fanart etc. - which dnp, even before they were out, have both expressed multiple times is OKAY, and even taken part in themselves both in TABINOF, their videos and TATINOF, and II. It’s simply a form of creativity, feeling and I honestly think D&P have expressed enough. They GET IT and it’s okay to do.

To reiterate, boundaries should be established and respected, but overall I believe the majority of people are happy for Dan (and Phil) and their relationship they have. If I haven’t impled already -  it’s empathy, it’s relatability, it’s forming a community and expressive art of all kinds in that community around those things. 

I’d also argue, there are those who wanna disrupt all that jazz, those who don’t feel the same way (not the ones who don’t mind/care like y’all chill but the ones who get angry at it all or feel the need to protect Dan and Phil from ??? it??), are usually the ones who ignored and denied this outcome of Dan (and/Phil) coming out / being together ever being a possibility in the first place. 

Yes, there is definitely an issue of folks sexualising online personas of real people, and it’s hard to tackle because it’s still so new in the grand scheme of things… and yes, fetishising queer people in general, outside of the phandom, is very much a thing …but I want to believe most of those/us involved in the phandom have grown from and past the evidence folks (like Alex) used which, from what I’ve seen people say, is dated.  I want to believe it’s different, we’re different now and from that… I want to believe one of the reasons Dan came out now is because he’s felt that change and difference too.

2) In regards to ‘phan’ - Dan made it clear in his video, his queer story, that Phil was a vital part of it. Phil was a vital part of his growth in feeling safe and happy and it’s likely without that, Dan wouldn’t be where/who he is today or out and proud like he is now.  The audience/phandom who’d I’d argue are of a majority queer/LGTBQIA+ which adds a whole over layer I’ve already expressed embracing and continuing to love this aspect of Dan’s life that/who happens to also be Phil, is not on the same level as someone being like ‘omgggg phan is real’ or ‘omggg my ship is canon!!’.  I feel like this is a very common misconception people have of the [demon] phannies/people who appeared to ‘ship’ D&P… in and outside the phandom.

I want to put forward also that generally speaking ‘phan’ is a term used to abbreviate ‘dan and phil’s relationship’, usually in romantic/sexual/whatever contexts, so in a way, yes, at the same time, TECHNICALLY, ‘phan’ is and has been real, but NOW, with new context (and for those who discovered/concluded this for themselves before Dan’s video), it’s not about shipping or our perception of what D&P’s relationship is, so ‘phan’ as a term isn’t necessary – and, really wasn’t ever but !! language is annoying.  – it’s about the reality of D&P and what their relationship is to each other. 

Personally speaking, I’ll say what I’ve said for the last few years when I moved away from ‘shipping’ them and seeing myself and my relationship in them/theirs… I just like seeing two people I care about, care about each other and be happy together. The layers of them being men expressing themselves openly with each other (and us), men who have experienced something ‘more than romantic’ together, queer/gay/out men who describe themselves as ‘soulmates’ is significant too. They’re going to mean something to people and honestly to just say that we’re ‘making it about ‘phan’’ as a ship, is not cool and a misunderstanding of what’s really happening. 

I think, if people want to use the term ‘phan’ for convenience (e.g. I use ‘phan’ as a tag just to categorise any content to do with dan and phil, it isn’t to do with their relationship aside from the fact that they do stuff together) instead of using the clunky ‘dan and phil’s relationship’ phrase like I have been doing throughout this reply - that’s like.. okay.. imo. It’s not ideal, sure, but, it communicates what you’re trying to say clearly! Again. Language is annoying, communication is hard when it is.

here are a few other cool tweets with points that I attempted to repeat but honestly don’t do justice so please read for more insight into all this (and if you’re gonna say anything, be nice to the OP’s pls #nicerinternet):  X , X, X, X , X this one isn’t entirely related but it made me cry so, X , X , X,

–

I hope.. I worded this okay.. I may come back and edit it . anyone’s welcome to add what they think in response to anon’s original message! thank you for sending your message anon and allowing me a chance to get my rambly thoughts out!

[smolbeandrabbles]

Sober Saturday Night - Kev x Reader (Idiot Box)

ANGST. SO MUCH ANGST.

GIF CREDIT: X Author’s Note: The way Chris Young sings this song... Especially the “I just let it ring” line. Oh my goodness... 

Also, this premise is pretty true to the video... Who knows what the song is really about in that case? PLEASE. If my writing has some kind of pretense to make you CRY. Get some tissues I don’t want to be responsible for this! On the other hand, you might not cry, who knows!

Disclaimer: Man... I mean. Idiot Box, right? I own none of these characters / lyrics etc etc... The usual stuff man.

Premise: Absolutely the most terrible ret-con ending of a movie I could possibly give you...

Words: 1645

Warnings: Blood/Injury Detail/Major character death/swearing/ALL THE ANGST

I feel terrible, sunlight's hurting my eyes So I pull the shades and I make my place as black as night I feel miserable and I'm missing you and me Another Sunday morning all alone underneath these sheets

No, I'm not hungover it's true, but I'm still not over you All messed up, all strung out, I was sitting at home breaking down I'm not out there getting high underneath some neon lights Ain't no whiskey strong enough to make things right I'm just getting over another sober Saturday night

Besides the pain, I don't feel a thing When my buddies call me up, I just let it ring...

---

Kev wished that clock would stop. He wished the world would stop. He hated being in this bed alone... The phone rang again. That wasn’t unusual anymore; and neither was him ignoring it.

Right now his world was upside down and it had nothing to do with the fact he was lying across his bed head and feet dangling over the edge. The light through his blinds was far too bright. But it was worse than that.  He covered his eyes and groaned.  There was absolutely nothing he could do about any of it. And it was killing him.

 It should have been him. He’d been the one who had been so damn stupid. And now he had to live with the consequences of that decision. And so did everyone else... But Kev suffered worst. Because he was well aware his actions had consequences... He wasn’t just as upset as everyone else, he held so much guilt too...

He dropped his hands for a minute so they brushed against the bedroom floor. There was a half-finished pack of beer sitting in the corner of his room. They were your favourite. But he couldn’t even bring himself to drink. Drinking alone was no fun anyway... But now it just made him feel sick. There was also a picture of you sitting on his dresser, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at it. Even though he wanted to. Because he loved you... He did...

And he’d done this.

If he wasn’t so angry, if he wasn’t so stupid... if he wasn’t so like HIM... You would still be with him.

 *

 “What?!” “That’s what I heard-!” “I dunno Lani... I don’t think it’s a good idea to go!” You were reluctant. Kev was an idiot. Obviously. You knew that and you still liked him enough to date him, but you weren’t sure you really wanted to get involved with him making a fool of himself attempting a bank robbery. Besides, wasn’t that more likely to get him arrested? You didn’t want to be there for THAT either.

“Look my brothers with them..! I just think you can talk them out of it! Or at least him out of it!” How did she even know? Kev had mentioned it in passing once but you thought he was joking; “... Well, yeah-! But I just don’t-!” “Please!” Then she tried a different track “I mean it could be laugh, right?! They’re idiots! We’re dating idiots!” You sighed deeply “Okay. But I’m not going in there. No way.” “Good enough! I’ll take it!” She dragged you by the hand and ran to the car.

 **

They weren’t outside when you arrived at the bank, but there were a number of cars that made you suspicious. “Y/N! Park here.” “Lani, it says no parking!!” “Does it matter!!” She jogged your arm “Come on!! We need to go!” “Go! I’m gonna park up safe!” “Why??!” “Uh. Because I’m NOT an idiot??!” You indicated to the cars around “... Pretty sure these are unmarked police cars.” “They’re not gonna care!” “I don’t have the money to get arrested!! Or fined!” You laughed, and pushed her “Go on! Go on! If you can get to your brother and Mick then Kev’s not gonna do anything dumb solo! Trust me. And I’ll be right behind ya if he DOES!!”

 By the time you had jogged back to the bank the police had the place surrounded. Yeah. Of course. Lani stalked out dragging her brother along, with Mick trailing meekly behind. You laughed to yourself again. Nope! You wouldn’t want to piss that girl off either.

He stopped on the other side of the pavement though, she didn’t. Until she realised he wasn’t following; “Mick!! Come ON!!” But he was looking at you, with your tilted head and raised eyebrow. His sigh and rolled eyes was enough. Yeaaah Kev was here and yeaaaah he was coming.... And yeaaaah he probably knew he was in big trouble with you.

 Not two minutes later did Kevin saunter out of the building. Looking cool, cocky, like he didn’t have a care in the world- and didn’t really give one either. You almost laughed. This was just so... typical... of your significant other. What the hell did I ever do to deserve to be with SUCH a dork? An adorable dork though. You reminded yourself. He sure was adorable.

He stood outside the bank with a smile on his face. And you knew that smile meant trouble. “Gun!” You heard the clamour from the police as they all seemed to cock their own and your heart was suddenly on edge. Kev-! What—!? “Y/N! NO-! Wait!” Lani tried to hold you back, but you had to get across the road and suddenly you were beside Mick. Indeed they were right he had a gun. And you were hyper aware all there’s were pointed at him. He was just a kid. You were all just kids! Surely he wouldn’t... and they wouldn’t. But this was your boyfriend after all and you knew he didn’t think. Of course he didn’t. And whether it was fear, excitement, adrenalin, whatever he raised that pistol - just enough.

“NO-!” You screamed it, instinctively. You didn’t even know what possessed you to do it but you ran to him.  You were too late, but right in time. Crashing into him you knocked the gun from his hand but at what cost? You had already heard the shots ring out. But it wasn’t Kev they hit. Both of you fell and hit the concrete.   “Y/N!!!!” He snapped, from cocky child to screaming mess.  “Y/N ! No—!!” There were screams coming from everywhere now, and other horrifying sounds but you could barely hear any of it.  You hadn’t really felt anything. You were aware you were, and rightfully should be in a lot of pain, but... you couldn’t really feel anything. He took your hand in his, and it was so unlike Kev to cry... But tears were streaming down his face. “Oh god!!! Y/N!! No!!! NO!! Come on-! C’mon! Oh god!” You were aware of how much blood there was, too. And how choked your breathing was. You were just about able to reach for Kev’s hand. He grasped it, you were cold and getting colder and he hated it. What could he do?!? There had to be something he could do!!!

Sirens wailed. All you had to do was hold on, that was it. And you were so strong he already knew that. You could do it - God you HAD to do it. “Kev-!” You just about managed “Kev-! Please-! I-!” He gathered you as best he could in his arms, resting your head in his lap. “Shhh—!! St-op! Save your strength Y/N!” His voice shook all over the place. And you were aware his tears were now falling all over you too. You were conscious you also now couldn’t feel at least half your body, anything that he wasn’t touching.   “Kev-!” You were just about able to reach out with your other hand and turn his face to yours; so you could look into those gorgeous, but sorrowful, blue eyes. “Kev-! I want you to—!” You coughed and you could taste the iron... that just wasn’t good. You tried again, weakly “I love you.”

 It hit something that only made him cry harder, how you’d said it so finally. Like that. Like it was the last time you would. “No!! NO!! Y/N! Don’t give up! Don’t-! You can’t f**king die on me!! Don’t! Please don’t die-! Oh god!” You shook your head, pretty certain that even hospital couldn’t save you now. And if you were going to have to accept that, so was he, and you wouldn’t waste the time you had left.

Tears slid down your cheeks and you repeated yourself “I love you...” But he shook his head, pushing his forehead to yours “Stop saying it like that!! You can’t! F**king! Die on me!!!” Sh*t! This was all his fault. ALL his fault!! There wasn’t a whole lot he could do though, and both of you knew it. Your breathing began to labour, and he didn’t know what to reach for. The ground and his clothes were covered in blood. Your blood. It should have been his blood. You should be sitting her crying and calling him a f***ing idiot. But you’d saved his life - for what?! He took your head in his hands, you were cold. “N-N-No...!!” He sobbed, placing a kiss to your forehead and then your lips as he held your face to his “P-please.... Y/N... d-don’t go... don’t leave me...” you were just about able to place your hands over his. The pain was subsiding as other bodily instinct kicked in... “I’m such a f**king idiot!! Such a f**king waste of space—! You don’t deserve this! Y/N please...!”

“Don’t.” Your words were remarkably strong “Don’t you DARE say that about yourself Kevin Madden. Don’t you DARE.” You smiled gently, pressing your lips to his “You’ve got your whole life... You’re.... a great man. And I love you... for that...” You squeezed his hands as hard as you were able; focusing on him as much as possible. It wasn’t nearly as hard as you imagined. “I...I love you too... but please... don’t... don’t give up...” He made you laugh, and there was that unmistakable taste again “Baby... I’m done... I know it and so do you...” “Y/N-!” “Hush. Save it...” you managed another smile “and just kiss me...?” It was all he could do to oblige you that. A series of short, sweet butterfly kisses... “We had a good... ride, right? You and I?” It was your smile accompanied with the smallest of winks that had him laughing through his tears; “The best.”

 —

I mean. I WARNED YOU.

[roseate7]

I was gonna lead off with this about how hockey fandom only just now rising up to protest the Capitals’ long-proposed White House visit after today’s news but uhhhh… I can’t actually see anyone protesting yet lol. Maybe folks were at school and work? Internet outages? Who knows. It’s awfully quiet. As quiet as it has been since the many hits about this visit started coming immediately following the Caps SC win.

Anyway, even if hockey fandom does eventually rise up with equal outrage to the Penguins’ visit I’m sorry to inform you: you’re too late. Your time to begin started a long while ago. I should know because the links I’m about to sprinkle in this post like damning pixie dust are from my long wait for fandom’s political outrage to resurface. 

So let’s just run through the usual old acrobatics to try and excuse the utter lack of equal outrage and protest against the Caps that there was toward the Pens. This is also a handy c+p guide for anyone who sees any variation on these excuses.

“Sid and Ovi: different right? Doesn’t that make Ovi better? Come on, help me out I jumped to him and the Caps because I saw he’s super gay with Backstrom and was promised he’s a champion for the gays because Holtby something something!”

Sidney Crosby’s attendance at the WH is no more or less wrong than Alexander Ovechkin’s. It’s way more complex wrt Ovi’s politics, sure. But no, no different in terms of an adult public figure making the decision to do this visit. Also, folks really need to read up on Ovi before calling him their lesbian uncle or whatever the fuck I am forced to see sometimes. Especially when you consider this unneccessarily awful tweet.

“But what if my Liberal White Boy doesn’t go in the end? That means he’s Totally Better, right?”

Nope!

The fandom line taken with the Pens from day one of them being offered an invite to the WH was that by not taking a directly opposing stance from the start, they were to be rightly condemned. Which was correct, and still was correct when some of the Caps said they were excited about a visit and others tried to deflect the topic. And it was still correct when this photo was taken with a Trump holding the Cup (and video). 

The Caps already missed their chance at not being condemned, just like hockey fandom has already failed at repeating - what are now shown to be entirely performative - political protest. Devante Smith-Pelly is the only Caps player who deserves credit for protesting this visit. There’s one white Caps player to “join” Smith-Pelly: Brett Connolly who, months later, saw what bad PR it would be to visit suddenly announced he wouldn’t attend, is a flop. No one cares. Every player who towed the “it’s a team decision” or “we’re gonna wait and see how we feel” bullshit - which is all of them barring Smith-Pelly - officially lost their chance at making a valid protest. (And let’s not all play dumb about the fact that Smith-Pelly was put up for trade interest this season, and his situation now.)

I don’t give a crap if Holtby or another “gay icon” still bails last minute. He’s already guilty by demurring the point and refusing to take a stance at all. That’s how morality works, just like y’all decided last year with guys who aren’t your gay icons. If Pens fans had to go through the stages of grief in condemning them even before the visit took place, then so does everyone. I don’t give a damn how much your straight white man dances to your favourite liberal tune for praise and adoration. Current NHL initiatives have a long way to go before they effect real change. I’m not a gay who’s here to divert a single fucking second of my community’s hard work and celebration to allies. If they’re real allies then they won’t need the praise anyway.  

And fandom’s choice to fail in addressing or reacting to the many instances of the Caps proving their lack of moral backbone - and their frequent excitement and honour - over this visit, is the definition of performative morality and politics.

“But I want to use black people in other sports to try and further my own wrong opinion like this guy!”

Well, unfortunately you - and he - can’t! Because Trump hasn’t you know, changed? He’s not suddenly pro-kneeling lmao. I know a lot of folks stopped checking in on this topic once the heat of going after the Pens died down, but I’m sorry to inform them that Trump hasn’t suddenly changed or amended his relationship with BLM, anthem protests, or black players who speak out against him. I know that this fact doesn’t help rescue Caps white boys - considering how little some of them they have to do to be considered Liberal Icons, it’s a shock to be denied the chance at praising them - but this avenue of rescue from accountability is as closed now as it was last time!

And um, I’m just gonna hope folks haven’t missed out on the fact that Trump has kind of uhhhh…. quadrupled down on all of his racism, homophobia, and bigotry since those very early days of his in office when the Pens visited it. So yeah, don’t bother with any hand-waving about it being ‘worse’ or ‘better’ to hold audience with him now or then lmao.

“Just because I didn’t protest this year doesn’t change what I said last year!”

Unfortunately, it does. Maybe you were young, maybe your politics were young and uninformed about hockey. Maybe you gave too much trust to fandom and didn’t do your due diligence, or didn’t appropriately withhold your investment and presumed innocence of rich straight cis white men. Who knows why you got it into your head that certain white NHLers wouldn’t align themselves with gross politics in one way or another.

But if you protested the last WH visit and stayed with hockey since then, you don’t have an excuse to keep pretending that there are lovely liberal strongholds anywhere in the NHL. None. Players of color do all their own work, white players get no credit for going along. Franchises doing things that are good PR are just that. This league was never the create-your-own-ideal that - in the almost two decades I’ve watched hockey - it has always tried to present itself as to fans. But the deception never worked on a lot of us, probably in no small part because someone my age started watching hockey before social media went fervently to work in trying to make the league and it’s players seem harmless and friendly in much more effective, albeit just as performative, ways. 

Hockey tumblr know this: there are no cinnamon rolls in men’s hockey.  

Draw an impermeable line between your fandom-ing of men’s hockey and your real life politics and morals as pertain to the reality of men’s hockey. Fandom is here for fun, but fun is not fun which alters when it performative-action-by-dopey-white-guy finds. I talk about what I find interesting about Sidney Crosby. I talk about what I object to about Sidney Crosby. I fandom wank in silly OTT posts about Sidney Crosby but in ways that doesn’t interact with me holding him accountable for his mistakes and flaws in terms of social responsibility and politics. Replace the name of the NHLer and repeat with your own guys.

The latest controversy that revealed a major flaw in fandom of rushing to exonerate a player rather over addressing the real issue of hurt and upset among LGBTQ+ fans is why this article really did need to get brought back up. There is a very real set of blinders worn by men’s hockey fandom and they need to come off. Even if the decision by most is to in general back off of talking about the gross realities, it needs to stay consistent across the league. No amount of social justice gold stars guarantees you a cinnamon roll franchise, or a cinnamon roll fanbase.

Do not bend and warp reality and accountability of adult men based on your own highly rose-tinted ideals of them.

Oh, and for future interest: should a team or players at some point decide to decline an equally offensive political invitation, that’s also not a “win” for your white boys. It’s proof of nothing more than the league and the franchise or players realising that it’s not worth the knock in publicity anymore.

(Needless to say: anyone attempting to exonerate the Capitals in response to this post gets nothing more out of me than a block. I’ve applied the same politics I’ve always had to the Pens and now to the Caps, as I would any team - and always have over a long time being a hockey fan. If you choose to switch up your politics based on largely white teams then that’s your problem, and not one I’m interested in. I’ve seen all the twisting and turning fans can possible do.)

[magic-marvel]

Normal

Chapter 5

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Pairing: Peter Parker/Spider-man x Reader

Summary: A night out leads to an encounter with our favorite masked hero.

Word Count: 3053

A/N: I have an AO3 account now!!! 

You were with your mom when it happened. You sat at the table doing homework while she started dinner. You were both laughing with each other when your phone buzzed. You ignored it. You said something about your mom's cooking, she yelled an insult back. You can't remember it now. Your phone then went off again, one more time, then another. It kept going, moving closer and closer to the edge. You picked it up. The clock read 4:03.

You scrolled through the notifications, some of them from social media.

“Text from Beverly (5)”

“Google Alerts: Bomb in D.C.”

“Twitter: Attack on Washington Monument”

“Missed Call from Beverly (3), Riley (1)”

“Text from Riley (2)”

There was a lump in your throat. Your mom asked if you were okay, it went unheard. You kept rereading the words, not even bothering to open the notifications. Your mom ended up snatching the phone from your hand after her many attempts to get your attention. Her face drained of all color.

She switched on the T.V. in an instant, quickly switching through the channels until the news came on. You turned in your seat, facing the screen as a bold banner scrolled across the bottom:

“EXPLOSION IN WASHINGTON MONUMENT, VICTIMS TRAPPED IN ELEVATOR”

Your eyes frantically scanned the screen, a news anchor tried his best to show little emotion. It didn't work. The screen then began showing a video of a family enjoying the monument. A little girl looked up in awe while a woman smiled at her. They began to stand together for a picture, a voice behind the camera telling them to smile. There was a sudden jolt, the camera shook before dust and brick crumpled down the side. The camera quickly flicked up, revealing a large crack running along one side of the pyramid that sat atop a tall column of stone.

The video was cut short, switching to a live feed.

“Oh my God...” Your mom barely whispered, a hand held tightly over her mouth.

You picked up your phone, frantically typing in the pass code before pulling up your contacts. It was a short list, so getting to Liz's name was almost instant.

You clicked the call button, holding the device to your ear. You waited.

Beeep  pause Beeep pause Beeep

The phone kept ringing, each second causing your stomach to twist into knots.

“You have reached the automated-” You hung up.

Your lip was trembling, you hit the call button once more.

As the phone kept ringing, you watched the screen. Helicopters circled the Monument, people were either frantically running away or staring in awe. You weren't sure what you would do.

“You have reached-” You hung up again. A sob clawing its way from your throat. Your mom turned at the sound.

She watched as you tried again, your fist crumpling the hem of your shirt. Your knuckles were white. You kept thinking back to Liz's Snapchat story. A pool party from the night before, Flash poking fun at Peter for not joining in, her team winning, Mr. Harrington awkwardly waving into the camera, and the last you saw was of her entering the Washington Monument. There were no updates after that. Your hand shook as it held the phone up to your ear.

“You have-” You dropped the phone. The automated voice relaying its message. Your lunges struggled to take in air, your chest was on fire. A beep could be heard, your phone is recording a voicemail.

Both hands muffled your sobs. Tears streaming down your face. Liz is in there, Peter is in there. Were they okay? Are they scared? Is anyone helping them?

Your mom picked the phone up, hanging it up and wrapping her arms around you. You let out a muffled sob into her shoulder. She rubbed at your back gently, letting you hiccup and cry into her.

The camera zoomed in on the monument, slowly following up its side. You watched over your moms shoulder.

“M-Mom-” You hiccuped. “Look.”

She turned towards the T.V., her face contorting in confusion.

“Is that-”

“Spider-man.” You finished.

Red and blue crawled up the Monument, the camera shakily followed his movements as he sped up the side. Webs would be shot to give him momentum, but he kept frantically crawling up.

Your sobs subsided, your bottom lip was held tightly between your teeth in anticipation. You wiped at the tears on your cheeks, watching the news intently.

One of the helicopters hovered next to Spider-man, a megaphone blasting at the masked hero.

“Return to the ground immediately!” It shouted, Spider-man kept going.

You watched as he frantically kicked at a small window. He even begun swinging into it, it didn't budge.

Your mom was squeezing your hand, both of you watching as he climbed higher to the top. Your heart was pounding in your throat at this point.

“Return to the ground now, or we will open fire!” The voice shouted from the helicopter. You stepped forward to the screen.

“He's trying to help, you idiot!” You screamed. Your voice scratched at the shout, your mom said nothing.

Spider-man took one look back at the helicopter, the gears turning in his head. You held your breath, watching as the moments unfolded.

He pushed off the monument, spreading a pair of webbing under his arms. You watched as he flew past the blades, hooking onto the bottom of the helicopter to swing back into the window. A loud pop! followed by a crash resonated. The screeching of metal made you cringe, how the camera ever picked up that noise from so far made you wince even further. Those inside must have heard that noise painfully.

There was a pin-drop silence afterwards. The helicopter stayed by the window, people below stared up in shock. No one was talking, not even the anchors.

It felt like forever. The camera was zoomed in on the window, waiting for any signs of life. You squeezed your moms hand, she let you. You seemingly didn't even blink, not wanting to miss a moment. After a few painful minutes, the silence was cut when the camera man panned down to a newswoman.

“We just received word from authorities that all of the occupants have been safely removed from the elevator and are now on their way down the monument. No injuries have been reported so far.” She spoke eloquently into the camera, the hint of relief in her voice as she relayed the information.

You released your breath, shaking at the intake of air. Your hand was pressed against your forehead while you squeezed your eyes shut.

They are okay

You opened your eyes to find your mom handing you back your phone, a new notification was displayed at the top. You pressed it open.

Liz: hey! everyones fine!! ill call u when i get off the phone with my parents ❤

You took a seat on the couch. You were wondering how Liz seemed so calm in her message. She always seemed so level-headed, no matter the situation. You thought this kind of event would be an exception, but it seems not.

You scrolled through your contacts, stuck in the P's. The space between Pam and Phillip was nonexistent. You didn't have his number, and there was no way you could get into direct contact with him. You wanted to make sure he was okay.

Your mom left the news on while she finished dinner. You stayed on the couch, your knee bouncing as you stared into your contact list.

You had eventually returned to your spot on the table, struggling to finish your assignment. You had just gotten off the phone with Liz, the conversation mostly being you worried over her. But after finally assuring you, you believed that everyone was safe.

Well, almost everyone.

“What do you mean he wasn't there?” You asked Liz.

“He just wasn't, Peter didn't even show up to the competition. We're heading back to the hotel to grab our stuff, Ned mentioned he got sick or something so he stayed back.” She responded. A little more disappointed than anything, she really depended on him for Academic Decathlon.

You let out a worried sigh, “Okay. Call me back if anything happens. Get home safe.” You finished.

She said goodbye before hanging up. The silent line deafening in your ear.

Your stomach twisted again, your brows were furrowed in worry. You hoped he really did stay back at the hotel. What kind of trouble was he getting himself into?

It was late that night. Your homework was shoved into your backpack out of frustration, you decided to just do it at school. You still worried over Peter, especially since Liz hadn't said anything. He's fine, you thought, no message is good, it means nothing bad happened.

You were in your pajamas, leaning over your desk to close your window when you heard it.

“You're never leaving this house ever again. I don't care if you're 40, I will make sure to chain you to the couch if you try and open the door.” A woman was scolding.

You took a peek out, curiosity getting the best of you.

“C'mon May, I wasn't even actually there!” There was a whine to that familiar voice. It made you want to laugh.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? You stayed in a hotel by yourself when you were supposed to be at the competition!” May said.

You watched Peter follow the woman in the building. That must have been the aunt he lives with, she really was quite the beauty.

You almost never saw Peter in the building, him being a few floors below you. His schedule seemingly prevented him from ever bumping into you. But you did see his aunt often, sometimes running into her in the laundry room.

Once they disappeared into the building, you shut the window. You were finally able to calm your nerves, him being safe and at home.

You walked out of your room and into the kitchen. You were scavenging the fridge for any snacks before you head to bed. You knew it was a bad habit, but you couldn't help yourself.

You settled for a bowl of cereal, finding nothing else worthy of your late-night habit. You held onto the bowl with steady hands, making sure to shut off the lights as you scurried back to your room. The empty hall always giving you chills when you shut the lights. You pushed your bedroom door closed with your hip, leaving the lights on in your room.

A quick tap tap tap caused you to shriek. Your precious cargo flinging into the air, pouring milk and frosted flakes all over your carpet.

You turned with wide eyes, finding Spider-man hanging upside down on the other side of your window. His hand was covering his mouth, eyes as wide as they can possibly go. He saw everything.

You slapped a hand over your face, not even wanting to look at the mess on the floor. You headed towards the window, opening it with a little more anger than intended.

“May I help you?” Anger laced every word.

“I'm so sorry.” Was all he could say. You stepped aside, letting him crawl into your room. You closed the window behind him, keeping the cold air out. “Let me help you clean it up!” He offered.

“Oh, that's so kind of you.” You replied sarcastically. “It's not like I was going to make you clean it anyways.”

He knew he should feel guilty, some sort of regret for scaring you. But all he could think about was how adorable you were angry. You were usually more reserved, small laughs here and there. He didn't even think you were capable of anger. But the way you furrowed your brows, your sarcasm dripping from those lips. The same ones that held such a beautiful, heart-breaking smile.

Don't even get him started on your outfit. The over sized 'Jurassic Park' shirt reached your thighs, almost completely covering the pair of shorts you had on. The shirt was slanted, leaving a peek of your shoulder sticking out. He wanted to melt.

“Stay here.” You commanded.

“Yes, Ma'am.” He responded automatically. He watched your figure leave the room. Trying his hardest to keep his eyes up. He didn't try hard enough.

You returned with an arm full of towels, all ranging in colors. You handed him a red one before leaving the rest on the bed. You got on your knees by the stain, trying to soak up milk with your own purple towel. Blot, don't rub you remembered.

Peter stared at you frozen, unsure exactly how legs work. He just watched you work on the stain, flipping and folding at your towel for a clean spot.

“Well? Get down here are start blotting Spidey!” You commanded once more.

“O-Oh! Right!” He spoke before joining you on the floor.

He followed your movements, making sure to not rub the stain in. Does milk stain? He didn't want to find out.

“I'm sorry I made you spill.” He commented.

“It's okay.” You spoke lightly, looking up at him. There was a lopsided smile on your part. He thought he couldn't fall in more love.

You ended up vacuuming over the stain, probably a poor decision but you didn't want to pick up the individual frosted flakes that littered your room. Peter held onto the ceiling as you went over the whole floor, not wanting to be in the way. You thought it was cute.

You mentally apologized to your downstairs neighbor, hoping the vacuum didn't disturb them. Putting the vacuum away, you walked back into the room, avoiding the still damp patch in the middle of your room. Peter still held onto the ceiling, but this time was hanging by a web. What a dork.

Taking a seat on your bed, you watched as he slowly descended from the string. He was eye level with you now.

You gave him a warm smile, “Thank you.”

“Oh-yeah, no problem. It's the least I can do. I mean I'm the one who scared you into spill-”

“Not about that.” You interrupted. He just stared, scanning your face for any hints of what you mean.

“My friend was on that elevator.” You filled the silence.

“Oh.” He said. “Uhm, I was just in the neighborhood, ya know.” He tried answering. He scratched at the back of his head, a habit it seems.

“You're good at this 'hero' thing.” You looked down at your lap, your fingers pinching the end of your shirt. “Especially for being a kid.”

He was taken aback, his posture shifting even as he hung upside down.

“I-I'm not a kid!” His voice deepened. “I'm a man!” He puffed out his chest, putting his hands on his hips as his feet pinched the web holding him.

“Yeah, right, Spider-boy.” You teased. A chuckle leaving your lips.

He couldn't help but laugh along. Your laughter struck him right in the heart, the arrow piercing with no remorse. He was so lost in your smile and he wouldn't want it any other way.

You stood up from the bed, walking up to him. The panels of his eyes widened with a whizz when you placed your hands on his cheeks. You ran your thumbs over the soft material, taking in every bit of his mask.

With a leap of faith, you leaned in.

Your lips connected with the cheek of his mask, he held still for you. Your eyes shut when you made contact. Savoring the moment, committing it to memory. Even down to his scent, rosewood, you realized.

He thought he had died and gone to heaven. Maybe he fell with the elevator? Did he catch himself when he propelled down the shaft? Who cares. What ever higher being granted him this moment, he was thanking profusely in his head.

He let you hold him in place, your lips gently pressed against his cheek. He wanted to rip his mask off, remove the layer that prevented any true contact.

But before any irrational thoughts came true, you pulled away.

Your hands still held onto him, a shy smile on your face.

“My friend is alive because of you. Thank you, Spider-boy” You meant the gratitude with all your heart. But you felt the need to joke with him, lighten any awkwardness that might arise from your bravery.

Peter stared at you with wide eyes. His heart pounding with an immeasurable speed. His chest was going to burst open and his heart was going to drop to the floor. He always thought the phrase 'looks that can kill' held a malicious meaning. But right now, in this moment, he knew that phrase was reserved for you and that beautiful smile. The way your eyelashes fluttered and how you brushed aside locks of hair. It all was deadly, and Peter didn't want to leave the crossfire.

“Mhmm. Yup. N-No problem” He tried answering, his head nodding in your hands. “Wow, um. Okay, make sure to tell your friend to get into more dangerous situations, yeah?”

You laughed at his sudden declaration. Your heart fluttered in your chest, cheeks warming at his comment.

“Sure, Spidey.” You joked.

You finally removed your hands away from him, his cheeks instantly missing the warmth they provided. His face seemed to follow them just for a moment out of instinct.

“C'mon, I'm getting a new bowl of cereal.” You spoke by the door.

He twisted in his web to face you, watched as you motioned him to follow.

Peter gently lowered himself to the floor, the web remaining on the ceiling.

“That better come off, Spider-boy.” You spoke over your shoulder, walking to the kitchen.

“It'll dissolve.” He said. Just like my heart, he thought.

The rest of his visit was spent eating cereal. He picked fruit loops, you stuck to frosted flakes. He sprinkled more sugar into his bowl and you couldn't help but laugh.

A sweet tooth for a sweetheart.

Chapter 6

Taglist: Crossed out usernames are uncooperative, message me if there is a spelling error or other mistake.

 @spider-mendes @sunflower-anna @missrowle @courtneychicken @legendarydazekitten @fly-little-butterfly @zseonlydavinci @alltheloveforharrystyles @pandalandalopalis

[maryellencarter]

What is your middle name? -- You know, about a year ago in a D&D session, I was attempting to sass the big bad (I’m much better at sass when I have time to think about it, D&D is such a time pressure that I’ve wound up playing much more of a strong silent type than I intended), and I said “Defiance is my middle name” and the DM wound up making Defiance the name of the country my character is from. Which is a delightful sort of NYC/Vegas mashup, quite different from Defiance, Ohio. ^_^ Also the capital city is called Skreuyu (pronounced, of course, Screw-you). :D

What are you passionate about? -- Dear god. What aren’t I passionate about? O_O I could attempt a brief and incomplete list, but this is a long meme anyway. ;-) Besides, you’re here, you’ll hear about it all sooner or later. XD

Zebra or leopard print? -- Either one, but only if it’s in day-glo neon rainbow colors. And not to wear, particularly. Fake-fur blankets and pillows, mostly. Lisa Frank was... a formative influence. ^_^ If I ever have money to actually decorate a place of my own, it’s gonna look very much like Wes Janson decorated it, although possibly with fewer Ewoks. (I do have a BB-8 penny bank, though.)

Do you have any fears? -- Honestly, at this exact moment, I’m too damn sleep-deprived to know. XD When I’m awake it’s probably social anxiety stuff. When I wake up at 4am tomorrow in my car, I may or may not be having the kind of weird quasi-psychotic fears that come with a certain level of sleep deprivation, where I’m suddenly convinced my laptop is going to eat me. Right now, nothing especially comes to mind.

Silver or gold? -- To wear? Gold. My skin corrodes silver. But as a color, I like silver better.

Top three places to visit? -- Ooh. Um. That I’ve been to, or not? I want to go back to Washington DC, and someday I want to be extremely sane and go back to Indiana, and someday I’d like to go back to the Black Hills and see all the geology tourism things, because the only one I saw as a kid was Mount Rushmore, which is more of a colonialism tourism thing. That I’ve not been to... Scotland, maybe? And Hawaii and Yellowstone, again for the geology nerdery? I feel like there are places I’ve very specifically wanted to go someday that I’m blanking on.

Where are you from? -- Indiana, once upon a time. Love the place, cannot deal with the people. Miss the snow. And the autumn leaves. And the library.

First career you wanted as a child? -- Paleontologist, best I can remember. Some things stay pretty constant. I don’t have the physical health to be a geologist anymore, if I ever did, but damn, I still want to take some more classes or keep up with the field somehow.

What’s your sign? -- You know, I’m not being bothered with this at the moment. I’m sure it’ll come up in a reblog pretty soon, I do those memes a lot.

Future names of your children? -- I refuse to have any. Five generations my bio-family has fucked up, all by trying too damn hard not to be their mothers. I will be a weird adopted relative and not name anybody anything.

What are you listening to right now? -- A fifteen-minute instrumental cover of “Turkey in the Straw”, to block out the myriad noises of the fast food place so I can think words. I’ve been looping it for hours and I’ll presumably be looping it for hours more.

Do you believe in fate/destiny? -- I have a lot of weird conflicting opinions about things like fate and destiny. I think if the universe is being... directed, by a god or fate or destiny or anything with intelligence or purpose, it’s an asshole and ought to be punched. It’s not actually any less depressing if the universe is being run by random chance and just happens to shake out in ways that make it seem like it’s being run by an asshole, but it’s less angering. *tries to word* I do get the feeling, the... desire for shit to have a purpose and to make sense, but a big part of me thinks that’s pareidolia or something related. It’d be nice if all this bullshit was eventually gonna shake out to me being either a stable human being or an epic hero, but I strongly doubt it. (And even if it did, a smart enough god should be able to get me there with less suffering, if it wanted to. So at minimum, if there’s a fate or god or destiny directing me, it’s either sort of incompetent, or motivated by priorities like taking the most direct route rather than minimizing the chances for me to die along the way, or it’s kind of a sadist. Sorry, I have Feelings about this one.)

Ethan, however, has a take that I think is... relevant, to the state of the world at the moment. He thinks the specifics of the world at any given time are all determined by chaos and random motion, but that there’s a cosmic balance between... stuff that’s very hard to give names to. “Good and evil” is part of it. “Order and entropy” might be a little closer. “Light and darkness”, whatever. But there’s this cosmic balance, and if, say, the Forces of Evil or whatever you want to call them... if something pushes too hard in one direction, tries to make one side win, the universe is gonna bounce back. There’s always gonna be that push-pull. Lots of people can get hurt or killed in the process, but because Ethan and I both read LOTR at formative ages, where we wind up at is the line “They cannot conquer forever”. You can’t have... you can’t get stuck. This is probably terribly Manichaean or something of us, but right now that’s the best I can word. That there’s always gonna be the thing you are Against, but there’s also always gonna be the thing you are For, even if one of them gets pretty squished for a while.

What are your career goals? -- Sometimes what you want to be when you grow up is “paid”. ;P I’d like to reach a point where I never have to ask the internet for money again, while continuing to be alive, and maybe can even give other people money. Help support my friends, travel around doing meetups, go to conventions or whatever, maybe do some cosplay. What exact job I’d be doing, Chaos only knows.

What is your favorite color? -- Blue. Royal blue, midnight blue, cobalt blue. Often with stars on.

What is your favorite flower? -- Uh. I’m gonna say these little striped white and purple crocuses that would come up through the snow in the spring? I loved those.

What was the first concert/show you attended? -- The Monkees 45th anniversary reunion concert. I said at the time that I’d blown five years of luck on the improbable string of coincidences that led to me getting there, but I’m so damn glad it happened, because I enjoyed it immensely, and Davy Jones died before what would have been their 50th. And hey, that was 2011, maybe I’m accumulating some luck again. ;-)

Something you are working on right now? -- This meme? XD In more general terms, reblobbenating some really old posts from my previous blog, as well as filling up my queue from same. It’s pretty slow going.

Have you ever had a near-death experience? -- Not the sort where you see a tunnel of light or go out of your body. Just the kind where you nearly die. :P

Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early? -- Pfffft. Time management is something that happens to other people. ;P Occasionally I do get something done right away, but mostly it’s the night before deadline, or sometimes the night after. o_O Maybe when I have some spoons I’ll be better at that.

Left or right handed? -- Right. Very much so. My left hand is clumsy enough that I never did really get the hang of playing the piano with both hands, and I still struggle with video games that aren’t Mass Effect. (I’m good at Mass Effect because I’ve been playing it for something like five years at this point. ^_^)

TV Shows and anime you watch regularly -- Hah. I don’t watch anything regularly. I don’t even read books regularly, I go through phases where I don’t read a book for months and then suddenly I’m reading ten in a day. And I don’t do open canons, anyway; they interact badly with my particular anxieties and stress levels.

Halloween costume idea for this year? -- I generally default to a cowboy or a pirate. I also have a witch hat now. But I might come up with something else. Living in an apartment complex, though, there will be no trick-or-treaters, so unless I wind up working somewhere that does Halloween costumes, the point is rather moot.

What is your relationship status? -- Single, aromantic, have never dated anyone, would rather like a primary relationship at some point but that’s an issue for when I can support myself. :P

Last movie you just watched? -- I genuinely don’t know. Probably Black Panther? No, that was like February. Hot Fuzz?

A song that’s been stuck in your head? -- This very seldom happens to me. I think the last one was Janice Buckner’s “Strange Friends”, a little-known ‘80s children’s song, of which I can remember neither the tune nor the lyrics. Usually I can at least remember the lyrics even if I don’t know what tune they went to.

A book you want to read/have recently read? -- Erm. I just reread Aaron Allston’s X-wing books, if you can call it rereading when I was mostly skimming looking for good tumblr URLs (I found a lot, but none that felt like me). I’m not really in a reading phase at the moment, so.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Eurovision 2018 Rehearsals Day 2 - Actual first impressions

FYR Macedonia: I think that Marija’s clothing is not really that great but maybe in the next rehearsal it will all change, heh. Them (the actual band’s duo) walking back and forth during the ‘have you ever thought about it’ chorus parts does seem like something that can be doable in this song during the performance.

Croatia: She really likes belting, oh my! It’s lovely how she does sing most of the lines a register higher in the verses, at least the ones she’s kind of capable of (the other times the backings help her out to make it sound like it’s higher sounding than in the studio). And the Instastory clip we’ve got from her rehearsal... she’s trying to go as high as Netta with the ending of HER entry. Still better than Elina Nechayeva... Also, I’d like to add that I like her dress and it seemed like her staging needed more action than Franka being alone on stage. I mean, at least bring the staging from your music video on stage, will you?

Austria: The first one I got to actually hear in full this day (damn school). Cesár goes through the song normally enough, though I wasn’t too sure for most of the time about the chorus. Where in the chorus are there supposed to be the backings that sing “ain’t nobody” and where aren’t? I also do not get Cesár’s platform but okay. Also, is it me or he was about to go a little too offkey during the ending of his rehearsal’s Instastory clip? (Speaking of them, Ari Ólafsson made a little Yoda impression at the end of his first impression of his own rehearsal on the Eurovision.tv’s instastory, unfortunately no one can see it anymore and I have only acquired a poor phone recording of the screen provided by my new Samsung model because I can’t even turn the older one that’s capable of much better on. :’) )

Greece: I was honestly looking forward to it. It was decent enough. I thought that her last chorus wailing over the backings needed some work because it almost, just almost, went for that D minor. Simplistic but powerful, I’d say. Also she’s good at English <3

Finland: Sorry for having missing out on it so much so that I didn’t really get to hear her sing. I only know that there’s a platform and Saara is against it, and she’s spinning from upside down to downside up and gets out of there at some point. Wow, “Domino” teas. She liked the idea so much so she couldn’t let it go it seems. At least it’s miles better than the cape reveal in the NF... I also lowkey hope she gets the “Queens” outfit for her actual performance to complete the trifecta.

Armenia: Went pretty well and solid enough. However, yet again, the staging seems empty and the bottom ribs that stick out of the stage don’t do the staging much justice, I’m afraid. Good that he’s into singing the “du tur indz t'ever” part along with the backings by the last several seconds of his song, these really let his voice shine through. Also, I cannot help but think he’s our token “cannot speak a word in English in interviews” person this year because I just cannot get Joci Pápai out of my mind in regards of this. Aisel’s English was said to be poor (did I just mention an A Z E R I performer next to an A R M E N I A N one? omg el gasp) yet in her first impressions clip on Instagram she spoke in English fine while Sevak just went full Armenian. xD I hope he can at least say something along the lines of “Thanks, keep voting” for his voters via Eurovision app though. Would actually surprise me as much.

Switzerland: I start missing Corinne’s (yeah I will still refer to her as Corinne, so shush) NF clothing but at least an upgrade. The pyramids are gone, too. The more interesting thing on stage that seems happening is Corinne using the bridge (an actually nice addition to the stage btw, feels like we’ll only get to see another one of those only like 8 years in the future) and the intro of the song that resembles the music video’s intro when there were silent gaps between the first and second lines and the second/third lines. Kinda puts me off. And the trumpet instrument during the “I can’t do anything about it” lines seems to sound stronger.

Ireland: Dublin 2019 my ass. I mean, come on! :P It’s cute but nothing too special, not even the music video’s dancers would be able to save it, even if the majority of the focus will likely be dedicated to them because... well, yeah, LGBT community watches Eurovision? The dancers make it feel like it’s an alleyway all around them, they even have a street lamp prop and fake snow on them. Ryan has a guitar. There’s some woman on the piano. That’s it. Why would an attempt of recreating the feeling of a 90s winner song work in the 2010s? Then again, some of you think Salvador’s song sounded like it came out straight from the 50s... but nope, still not a winner, let alone it has to qualify at first~

Cyprus: I was intrigued when ESCXtra (I decided to stop watching ESCUnited because Eugent was on Xtra’s stream yesterday and I’m so gutted on missing out of it that it hurts </3) guys described all that happened on stage BEFORE Eleni’s rehearsal even began. And about wearing a pelican. Okay it seems I have kind of exaggerated, and so did Wivian from that website. xD It’s just a bodysuit with an open belly and consists of 3 colors. Vocally she was... o-kay I guess? o_0 Guess I can’t hear so much into it that makes her sound flat and tuneless then. She was fine. And I lowkey told people about her using pyros, but people still somewhat thought that it’s just the AWS that’d break the ‘no pyrotechnics’ rule from the prohibited items list. xD Oh you guys. (e:  it seems there’s a lot of hair shaking action and dancing involved. Much surprise...)

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 24/04/2021 (AJ Tracey, Young Thug/Gunna/Drake)

On this week on the UK Singles Chart, we get a well-deserved break after last week’s chaos but we still have seven or so new arrivals – half of last week’s amount. Lil Nas X’s “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” is unfazed by any of it as it spends a fourth week at #1, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

So last week was busy but a lot of what debuted and returned didn’t actually sustain so we have a plentiful amount of drop-outs and returning entries this week as well. For notable drop-outs – as in songs that had peaked in the top 40 or spent at least five weeks in the chart (specifically the UK Top 75, which I cover) – we have “Anyone” by Justin Bieber, Drake’s “What’s Next” after only six weeks, “What Other People Say” by Sam Fischer and Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift’s re-recorded version of “Love Story” and “Headshot” by Lil Tjay featuring Fivio Foreign and Polo G as well as the late DMX’s “X Gon’ Give it to Ya” off of the return last week.

We do have an oddly large amount of returning entries as a result of this because I guess there’s not enough new stuff to fill in the cracks, as “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles is back at #75, “Heat” by Paul Woodford and Amber Mark at #69, “Anxious” by AJ Tracey at #68 off of the album boost, “Another Love” by Tom Odell at #67 and “Cover Me in Sunshine” by P!nk and Willow Sage Heart at #62.

Then we have songs actually on the chart that are moving about – first off, let’s start with our notable losses, falling about five spots or more on the chart. We don’t have an excess of these, but we do have “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK getting ACR’d at #23, “Latest Trends” by AI x JI and remixed by Aitch at #33, “Mercury” by Dave and Kamal. off of the debut to #47 (good!), “Black Hole” by Griff at #48, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’ Bone Man at #49, “Mr. Perfectly Fine” by Taylor Swift at #50 off of the debut, as well as “Anywhere Away from Here” by Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk also off of the debut at #51. Oh, and again, falling after last week’s debut, we have “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #52. Other fallers that actually lasted at least one more week on the chart include “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #57, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #63 and that’s about it. Also, somehow “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” by Drake featuring Rick Ross is sticking to the charts at #71 despite all of the more pop cuts off of that EP – and by that I mean the songs that aren’t six long minutes of pure rapping – dropping out. How that is I have no idea but it does bring us to our gains.

Our gains are always more interesting and we do have a fair few of them this week, like “Starstruck” by Years & Years at #56 off of the debut, “Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing)” by Fred again.. and the Blessed Madonna somehow surging up to #55 off of the debut, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #54, “Summer 91 (Looking Back)” by Noizu at #53, “Last Time” by Becky Hill at #46, “Don’t You Worry About Me” by Bad Boy Chiller Crew at #45, “Medicine” by James Arthur at #44, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #41, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd rebounding at #40, “Runaway” by AURORA making the top 40 at #34 (six years late), “Levitating” by Dua Lipa bizarrely rebounding at #32, “Didn’t Know” by Tom Zanetti at #31 and that’s pretty much it other than big gains for Olivia Rodrigo’s “deja vu” up big to #12 and “Let’s Go Home Together” by Ella Henderson and Tom Grennan breaking into the top 10 at #10. A lot of these new entries are concentrated towards the bottom of the chart, so let’s start with something that’s actually pretty great.

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “How Does it Feel” – London Grammar

Produced by London Grammar and Steve Mac

London Grammar are an indie pop band from Nottingham that just scored their second #1 album with Californian Soil, one I found genuinely promising but absolutely meandering. For all of the great, swelling and powerful tracks there were – many already on the pre-album EPs and singles – there were pointless, time-consuming ballads that feel if anything underwritten and dull. My personal favourite track, “Baby it’s You”, was the lead single and it actually charted, though this cut is the highest-peaking track from the record and also, thankfully, one of my favourites. Hannah Reid has a smoky, unique voice and it always swells over these atmospheric, reverb-drenched instrumentals, full of subtle bass and those infectious guitar links before it drops into the borderline vocaloid drop in that distorted synth-pop chorus that... okay, is pretty anti-climactic and there for no reason other than to give an excuse for the band to incorporate that 80s production into the rest of the song. Regardless, it’s still a damn good production and that chorus is unreasonably catchy, even if she’s hitting falsetto notes I’d never be able to sing along to. It’s not a song that ends too early so it can stream well either; this is a pop song constructed like one of old, and is just as intricate, especially with those twinkling keys in the final chorus. This isn’t the best on the album by far but it’s understandably the one that’s the most accessible and upbeat so it makes sense it’s here. I don’t expect it to stick around but I wouldn’t mind if it did.

#73 – “Sunshine (The Light)” – Fat Joe, DJ Khaled and Amorphous

Produced by Cool N Dre and Amorphous

So, Fat Joe might be back? I’d be hard-pressed to find out way until I look at this... comeback single of sorts and realise that the chorus is just straight-up taken from a Rihanna song, that being the verse of “Kiss it Better” from 2016 layered over this almost disco-sounding sample of Luther Vandross and that’s pretty much the song as far as the beat is concerned. In that way, I guess it’s kind of fun and harmless but Rihanna’s vocals are mixed pretty horrifically on this instrumental without any attempt to cover it up with some backing vocals, which would have been a really good touch. DJ Khaled is only here because he finishes Fat Joe’s punchline and he contributes literally nothing else. In fact, Fat Joe is a waste of time here as well, especially in that really odd bridge and second verse. Admittedly, I guess his first verse has one clever line but it’s all clearly so unfocused even when the sample gives you a lot to work with in terms of content. By the time the Luther Vandross vocal sample is oddly dribbling over the beat, I’m out of this.

#72 – “Ski” – Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna

Produced by BabyWave, Outtatown and Wheezy

Slime Language 2 was a project I thought was actually fairly enjoyable given its runtime and content. I mean, it’s 23 tracks running at about an hour and a half of just mindless flexing, sex and gunplay from Young Thug and YSL affiliates but it has an energy and camaraderie that I rarely find is all that noticeable during these label or collective albums, and whilst not any particular rapper shines on more than one track, we still hear a lot of voices on the record that are far from unpleasant and can hold their own against Thug, one of them of course being Gunna. I’m surprised the songs with Travis Scott or Lil Uzi Vert didn’t debut but this Thug-Gunna cut did, but I guess that video pushed it over the top and I’m glad because this is by far one of my favourites on the album on pure, stupid and mindless energy. That camaraderie that I mentioned is in full force here as Thug and Gunna trade bars over this basic watery beat with some catchy strings and, of course, awkward bass mixing. The first intelligible words are “Spider sex” and then Thug just goes into yelling “Yeah!” because, sure, that’s a chorus. Thugger delivers his typical flow-switching charisma with a lot of loud, fun energy and whilst not anything of lyrical standard is said here, I love how he and Gunna trade each other’s names on their versions of the post-chorus. It’s a clever, little touch that makes songs like this feel just that bit more fun, if the manic ad-libs didn’t already show that. Gunna’s verse might be the best of the two here as he actually comes with some unexpected energy over that beeping synth loop that sounds great finally coming from Gunna, and, yeah, what can I say? It’s a mindless trap banger that will be out as soon as it was in – both for the charts and your ears – but it’s so much fun and with Thug’s poppier projects, that’s all that matters.

#66 – “You” – Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae

Produced by Regard

The Kosovan DJ that brought us that great remix of Jay Sean’s “Ride It” as well as original song “Secrets” with RAYE is back and bringing... Troye Sivan and Tate McRae with him. Okay, I mean, sure, maybe Regard can pump up the production to get either of these singers to sound enthused. The content is pretty basic, with the “coming back to an ex” story we’ve heard before and not much interplay between Tate and Troye – not that there can feasibly be but that’s beside the point. This isn’t all that important to a song like this, though, but it can be done so it always feels anti-climactic when these EDM songs don’t have good lyrical content anchoring its groove and catchy hooks. That said, this song is actually pretty good, trading much of the more fast-paced house grooves and minimal deep house drops for a pretty slick, almost synth-funk production with some hard-hitting 909 bass and Troye’s laid-back mumbling falsetto actually sounding pretty great over electro percussion and this blend of really cool, retro synths that aren’t afraid to sound jerky and out-of-tune in that post-chorus. They almost remind me of Plastic Beach if this isn’t that ludicrous of a comparison. Tate McRae barely exists here but that’s fine – sadly she has the only verse and her voice just doesn’t mesh that well with Troye’s outside of some of the chorus harmonising, and on its own just sounds kind of unwarrantedly raspy on pretty clean, smooth production. Regard’s addition of those distorted backing vocals and the lenient vocal manipulating in that bridge make sure you know this is intricately produced to every detail and I just love that ramping of intensity even if the final chorus doesn’t really act as that impactful climax so the song ends on kind of a low note where I can tell Regard didn’t know where to go from there. Otherwise, this is a pretty great synth-pop track and I really hope it sticks around. I knew Regard had an ear for more unique EDM production since he came onto the charts for the first time with “Ride It” so I hope to hear what’s next from him as well. For now, oh, God, please make this a hit.

#61 – “Kukoc” – AJ Tracey featuring NAV

Produced by Yung Swisher and Pxcoyo

This is our first of two songs that debuted this week from AJ Tracey’s album Flu Game, which I decided not to listen to on the basis that it was nearly an hour’s runtime with a NAV feature. It’s just my luck then that for whatever reason, the British public decided the NAV song was the second most important track to listen to when the album dropped. Well, I guess this beat isn’t bad, especially with that synth flashing over the acoustic guitar inflections and the Pop Smoke-esque rattling drill percussion creating an oddly-mixed and cluttered beat but one that I guess still hits pretty hard. NAV sounds more enthused than ever over a drill beat – maybe he should stick to that – but I still feel like this is just a pointless song. The content is primarily just flexing and AJ Tracey’s energy is there but not in a particularly likeable, charming way or in an intimidating, menacing way so he just ends up out-shined by NAV’s cheaply Auto-Tuned and simple, basic flow in his verse where he emphasises how he’s a grown man at 30 years old – yet still not showing any sign of maturity, seemingly. This is listenable for sure but at best it’s a mildly amusing drill track and at worst it’s sensory overload. The build-up is only in the intro here and it’s just full force for the next two minutes making it kind of aggravating to even listen to and keep up with. Oh, and “Kukoc” is some Croatian basketball player mentioned once in the chorus. That’s about as interesting as this content gets.

#36 – “Solid” – Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna featuring Drake

Produced by Foreign Teck, Elvas, Wheezy and OZ

It’s an unwritten rule that if you release an album, the song with Drake on it will always debut on the charts, and often particularly high. Okay, I guess it didn’t work for Drakeo the Ruler – sadly – but it did work for Slime Language 2. “Solid” which absolutely did not need the four producers it has is pretty much just the trio being as uninteresting as possible as they slide over a synth-based trap beat with, say it with me, odd bass mixing. I guess Drake’s hook is mildly catchy and the steel pans in the verses are kind of fun even if they’re there for pretty much no reason. Gunna probably delivers the best verse, if not the purest as he brags about having solid friendships, and boasts wealth over the beat which gets a lot more eerie and downbeat with Gunna over it for whatever reason, even when he’s spitting ridiculous sex bars. The best part of this as with most of the YSL label projects is the interplay between Young Thug and Gunna, as over an increasingly badly mixed beat and some slick organ licks, Thugger ends off the track with an effortless verse and... well, it sure is a trap-rap song by Young Thug, Gunna and Drake. That’s for sure. It’s not bad at all and this beat could be a lot better if there were more steel pans and better mixing, it’s just that none of these guys deliver as well as they can and like most things he’s on nowadays, Drake is the worst part of it.

#29 – “Little More Love” – AJ Tracey

Produced by Venna, Mark Raggio, RyFy and Yoz Beats

I’m surprised there’s little fanfare about this song and the album in general, especially given how big songs like “West Ten” and “Bringing it Back”. Sadly, I think this might be a case of waiting too long to get the record out or just AJ’s star fading away and towards – unfortunately – Digga D. This cut got the music video treatment and hence debuted the highest of any entries this week but it was set for a top 10 debut from the album and video boost, but just seems to have stalled. I actually think that’s pretty unfortunate as this is a great song, with that tropical guitar lick that sounds cheap when drenched in the reverb and especially when the beat comes in and it’s mixed too loudly, but that doesn’t really obscure the trap knock and groove, particularly in that chorus with AJ’s expected dead-beat delivery. That delivery really works for this song, though, as it’s about the paranoia that comes with unexpected fame and success for someone from a background of poverty. I wish the beat gave AJ more room to breathe but he still flips the typical UK flows on his verses so they’re a lot more catchy and smooth, particularly over those soulful vocal loops that come in at the same time. That second verse is pretty excellent too, as whilst it’s short, it runs through some pretty excellent flows and some interesting lines, like about how he sees himself as Che Guerava, represents his Trinidadian identity and how he’s “got God” so he and his crew don’t need to wear a bullet-proof vest, which is actually kind of profound for Tracey. The horns at the end of this beat deserve some credit for making this song great too, and with all the sounds packed into this song, I think I understand why this one has four producers, even if this cluttered mix could use halving that total.

Conclusion

This is a pretty solid week all things considered, with a lot of good to great songs, so much so that it’s difficult to give out titles. I guess Best of the Week is going to “Ski” by Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna but I’m convinced to give a three-way tie for Honourable Mention. I think I’ll just stick with giving it to Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae for “You” but it was close. Worst of the Week ends up going to “Sunshine (The Light)” by Fat Joe, Amorphous and DJ Khaled almost by default, with a Dishonourable Mention to AJ Tracey’s “Kukoc” featuring NAV, even if I still kind of like the song. Here’s our top 10 for this week:

Hopefully next week will keep this quality going, but in terms of new arrivals I can’t really make any concrete predictions other than a boost for “Save Your Tears” and hopefully an impact from Jorja Smith and Little Simz. I guess time will tell however, so thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

[koganphrancis]

And Now Shameless Slanders The Littlest Milkovich?  FUCK YOU

My recap of Season H8 Episode H8

They really had Vee refer to Yevgeny as a “little psychopath”, just to retcon every decent Milkovich that ever was.  Completely unnecessary and untrue, and WHERE THE FUCK IS IAN, WHY ISN’T HE IN THIS KID’S LIFE ANYMORE, HE STATED FLAT OUT HE LOVED YEVGENY.  Thank goodness there’s a gif of a Henckel flipping the bird to help me through this trying time.

I’ll try to temper my bitterness for the rest of this, but I make no guarantees.  

That horrific remark about an innocent child aside, this episode had little to get me riled up over-it was one of the most boring episodes they’ve ever done-every week they seem to outdo themselves on that front.  

This piece of shit-pardon me-episode was written by day-to-day showrunner Nancy Pimental and it was either her lame attempt at trying to win Macy that Emmy OR her purposely sabotaging him, because his storyline was the longest and most painfully unfunny this week.  

Also it was directed by Emmy Rossum and she gave herself a shit ton of close ups which I suppose is her prerogative and heaven knows the writer didn’t give her much story to shoot.  

This week opens with the dog Rusty staring at a still in bed Fiona and kicks off the aforementioned close ups.  I still want that dog to be explained-the law isn’t “dogs that have eaten human flesh must be destroyed-unless someone’s willing to take a chance on rescuing them”.  Why is there zero fucking research on this show?

Meanwhile, Franny’s screaming but Debs is too busy in the bathroom taking a half dozen pregnancy tests and acting like the world owes her something-that will be her theme throughout the episode, as it has been for the past few seasons. 

Nancy tries to capture some of that “all the Gallaghers in one place at one time” magic by having everyone crowd around the bathroom and giving Ian his first spoiled toddler line of the ep, “Guess I won’t shower today-gonna get filthy anyway cleaning that shitty building my sister found for homeless kids.”  Whatever that meaningful moment on Ian’s bed was last episode is being forgotten or ignored by this dumbass show.  Will it ever be revisited?  Who knows. 

Lip, who this season is like Mrs. Kravitz on Bewitched and seems to have this compelling need to insert himself into other people’s drama while ignoring his own, volunteers to take Debbie to Planned Parenthood where she again acts like a total bitch who needs a reality check, and where Lip just happens to be there to see Charlie (Snore’s ex) walk in with a very pregnant woman.  Such fortuitous timing!

There’s a gross scene of Carl peeing into a toilet between Kassidi’s legs as she sits on the back of the toilet-good god, Nancy, is that what you think the kids are into these days?  All I’m gonna say about Kassidi is that she’s exactly like Sammi only younger and even more charmless.  Whoever the fuck thought the show needed that vibe back needs to be fired.  And I get that Carl is supposed to be thinking with his self-inflicted deformed dick, but, really?  After seeing his father and Monica over the years, plus living with Sammi for a bit, he wouldn’t know enough to run from that type of chick?

Frank has this totally convoluted “only on Shameless” business venture going where he’s going to smuggle immigrants who feel unsafe in the USA over the Canadian border and bring back his car loaded with prescription drugs.  Sure, Frank.  Anyway, the only scene of note in the many long and boring scenes he got this week is when he’s listing talented Canadians-and when he DOESN’T say “Noel Fisher” we all hear it anyway and laugh at this lame show for letting all that talent go.  Assholes.  

Instead of recycling Mickey’s shirts this week, the show does something even more stupid: they use the VFW hall where Mickey got married as the new youth shelter AND they use the basement where Mickey and Ian banged before his wedding as the food bank Debbie goes to!  Okay, Cam, I gotta say, that’s a version of audacious-reminding us of those classic Mickey moments the show can’t come close to having using any of the characters they’ve kept on.  

Speaking of Mickey (not that the show ever does), Nancy tries to recreate some of that old Mickey magic with having Terror call Ian a “Negative Nellie” when he bitches some more about the new youth shelter.  Pinning nicknames on Ian is a Mickey thing only-why are they constantly reminding us of the gaping holes that losing Noel has left?

Anyway, here’s how Nancy tried to bring some shit talking South Side back into the show: Ian: This place is a dump. Terror (to Geneva): Don’t listen to Negative Nellie he’s still mad about the church. I: (sarcastic) Ye-ah, cuz you got pity fucked by my sister with this building. T: (imitates Ian) Ye-ah-and she was really good.

Side note-can you imagine Ian ever trying to joke with Mickey about him fucking his sister?  Sheesh.

I: I bet-she’s great at getting what she wants and screwing everybody else.

WTF?  Has Nancy ever seen the show?  Fiona always winds up screwing herself over.  I’m not a huge fan of Fiona’s big sister act, but even I can admit she sacrificed a lot for her younger siblings and never did things to screw them while advancing herself.  The thing Ian should be mad about is Fiona’s comments about Mickey-and even then she didn’t screw Mickey or Ian, she just said some stupid shit that Ian didn’t have to listen to.

Anyway, Geneva tells Ian and Terror about the gay conversion church, so now I know taking on organized religion wasn’t what Ian referred to as “larger concerns”.  One of the youths tried to commit suicide after being subjected to it, so Ian and Terror go visit him and the kid holds up his bandaged wrists and asks if they like his hot wristbands and even though it’s canon that Ian witnessed his mother moments after she slit her wrists and Terror spent his prom night in an emergency room because he slit his, neither of them bat an eye or react in any way to the kid’s injuries.  

Emmy throws in a way too long scene of Fiona dancing around in her underwear (after more way too long Frank scenes).  Again it amazes me how this show just recycles the same shit over and over-anyone remember Fiona’s happy dance in the church she went to check out for her and Sean to get married in?  

Ford catches her in the act and entices her to go out and look at Chicago architecture with him-I want the jobs that either of them have where they have all the free time in the world to lollygag.  And why is the show wasting all this time on all this crap in one episode?  Paint drying on those historic buildings would’ve been more interesting to watch than this hour of television.  

At the end of their tour, Ford shows her the inside of a house he’s working on (all by himself, apparently, I guess he doesn’t work with a crew) and asks her to lie down on an improbably placed mattress and she’s a tad hesitant at first, but when she does it, he points out art on the ceiling to her.  She’s impressed with its beauty and then starts making out with Ford in a total recreation of Ian with Faileb and thinking that guys who show any bit of interest in them as people must want to fuck them.  It was stupid with Faileb, it’s stupid with Ford.  

There’s a scene somewhere along the line with Kev and Vee that’s bordering on spousal abuse-I really wish they’d end this “Kev grows some balls” idea immediately. "Big neanderthal man” is not a thinking person’s idea of an ideal partner.  

Ugh, now for more of the Ian crap.  He goes home and asks if they have a Bible laying around.  He finds one, and the next day-THE VERY NEXT DAY-he and Terror go to the gay conversion church and Ian gets into a Bible quoting match with the pastor/minister/whatever he is.  I’m sure Cam was hard as a rock thinking he was coming off like Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, but the movie character I was thinking of was Rain Man-how else could he have memorized several Bible passages overnight unless he’s some sort of idiot savant?  

Terror is basically an Ian accessory in the scene-a backpack or a briefcase or a Trapper Keeper, holding Ian’s Bible for him until he needs it.  And the whole, “We’ll probably be banging again soon” right after Terror calls himself Ian’s ex was stupid-not funny or sexy, which I bet was what good old Nancy was going for. 

Cut to a scene of Snore getting a bit of a story thread that they probably originally kicked around for Mandy, and she has the triggering line that she’ll “run away to Mexico” if her father is released from prison.  Sure, Snore, whatever.  

Then there’s the scene where Kev is trying out his domineering dick act for the second time this ep on Svetlana, and Vee gets turned on and hands Yev over to Svetlana calling him that P word.  Fuck you, bitch.  I hope Svetlana is scheming to fuck Kev and Vee over big time-they have a scene where it looks like Svet’s doing that, but with this show, who knows if it’ll be alluded to again?

In the time it took Ian and Terror and the refugees from the gay conversion church to walk to the youth shelter, a video a person recorded at the church on her phone has been uploaded to You Tube and Geneva tells Ian it has a thousand hits already-cuz, yeah, Nance, that’s how the You Tube works.  Homeless kids working to clean up a dilapidated building have their iPhones turned on to get alerts whenever a video that has anything to do with gays gets posted to YT and they all drop everything and watch it.  

The only other thing I want to mention is the preview for next week-they show a quick clip of Ian and Terror pulling their shirts off that’s a ripoff of Mickey and Ian’s first time, a shot of Ian watching Terror asleep next to him in his bed where he’s awkwardly as fuck touching his face, and then a clip of Ian saying, “Kinda nice-us being a thing again.”  (WHAT HAPPENED TO GET OFF MY PORCH, DICK????  But I digress.)  Terror answers, “Jury’s still out.”  Well, if by jury he means FANS, we handed down our verdict a long time ago.  

I wonder if the show is trying to set up them finding their way to be a “true” couple (GAG), and then “tragedy” will strike and pull them apart when Ian gets arrested and they think  it’ll be poignant and painful for the fans, when actually we’ll be cheering and yelling, “Throw Ian in prison for 15 years, bitches!  Throw away the key and don’t have anyone visit!  Have Terror say it’s too painful for him to see him behind glass like that!!!!”  

But then again, this show is so inconsistent maybe that’s not where they’re headed at all.  Maybe they just think Ian needs the chase to stay interested, and for some misguided reason the writers think that’s what the fans want to see.  

We really, really don’t, though.  

And I can’t say it enough: Fuck this show for that line about little Yev.  It seemed like another very deliberate slap to the face of Mickey Milkovich fans everywhere.  

[kitto-toberu-sa]

Digimon Stage Play - Full

Aight, so tl;dr: great show, actors are perfect, Yamato is beautiful beyond belief, Mimi is UGHHHHHH in the good way and I’m bitter that the whole show isn’t sold out and whoever was in charge of promotion should be forced to eat nothing but the hottest of hot chillies for the rest of their life.

Timeline: It’s set after Koushirou creates the cyber space for them, but before the reboot. Clearly on/around August 1st ;p

Venue/Goods: a little out of the way, small. You couldn’t buy goods unless you had a ticket, which sucks. Goods were sold on the inside, line was small pre-play, massive after. My store clerk couldn’t count to save her life. People were trading, everybody hated that everything was random and there were so many types of things. Friend and I ordered dvd – no blu ray option, it’s being released in December (average wait time since Japan is very slow on physical releases). Had to downpay 2000 yen, which this and dvd only option has never happened before when I’ve seen other stage shows – not a good sign. No postal option, so my friend has to pick mine up for me – poor form again. (Pick up is only at animate – my nearest one is 2+ hours away :/)

Promotion/sold out: four shows sold out. Tickets reduced to 7000 yen, which is insulting for us who went through lottery. They advertised low prices at fes too. Promotion was done badly. Digimon isn’t massively popular, but Toei isn’t small either. Get a cast twitter, post rehearsal pics etc. Promotion doesn’t need to be costly. Fes advertisement (last weeks vid) was too little too late. Theres events with Miyazaki and AiM and seiyuus, which also seems last minute and an attempt to sell out. Again insulting to those of us to preordered. Shonichi didn’t sell out. Must be tough on actors. Promotion video (August 5th? 6th?) is kinda bad quality – the stage itself looks and sounds better than the video may lead you to believe.

Seating: nice, comfy. We were second row, left hand side, aisle. If we had been one or two more to the left it would have been really bad (same if you’re too overly right). The cast faces back/sideways too often, so we saw a lot of backs. Need to work on being diagonal, basic stage stuff there. However, pros of our seating were: Yamato being right in front of us when he sang, Jyou fishing in front of us and making eye contact with Etemon to the point where it was creepy lmao

Play Y’all. Y’ALL. THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT. A+ A+ A+ A+!!!!!! The puppets look quite nice tbh. Sometimes a little weird and maybe the cast should have worn the traditional black instead, but it was done well. Agumon is twitchy in the start, scene is a little long. He’s basically like ‘my body can’t move/is moving on it’s own???? Wat? Why???’ (both happen, not a bad translation on my part). He wakes up and Gabumon’s like ‘yeah me too’ and some of the other Digimon agree but Palmon’s like ‘yeah same but it’s because I’m not a morning person lmao’.

They all go to where the kids are. So this is set sometime after Koushirou makes the cyber space for them. Mimi and Koushirou talk about camping and Mimi ends up throwing his laptop on the FLOOR. Koushirou looks heartbroken and the entire audience was ?!?!? but sasuga Mimi and Koushirou’s like … well, moving on. Mimi is perfect beyond belief. Right voice, face, mannerisms. I know that’s what acting is, but she NAILED IT. She’s all like ‘camping is about feeling the breeze~’ then acts like she has wind her face, ‘about being hot’ (ahhhh, it’s hoooooot, she says), about monsters! (she says as she stalks towards the Digimon). We then get the scene where Sora talks about the importance of August 1st. While she speaks, on the left and right sides we see actual scenes from the original anime, which is really touching. Sora mentions that although there were good times, there were bad ones too (CUE GIF OF LEOMON DYING BECAUSE THEY HAD TO HAVE IT SOMEWHERE) All the mons wanna go camping which obviously, is cool.

Hikari invites Taichi and they talk. Jyou calls Hikari but Taichi answers and Jyou doesn’t realise. ‘Damn that Taichi, he isn’t coming? Leave it to me!’ Eventually Taichi is like ‘it me moron’ and Jyou convinces him to come after Taichi’s like ‘I BET UR NOT COMING’ because Jyou, as always, has exams. Jyou is a smart ass? He’s like ‘Taichi, next year, you’ll be in my position. And if it’s you… well… you’ll be in trouble.’ SUCH A GOOD SCENE JYOU IS MVP IN THIS PLAY Y’ALL. He gets his creep on here and it’s so funny. A couple of time it’s acknowledged that Hikari should have been there on August 1st but was sick. I believe at one point they were like ‘yeah we’re low key looking for Meikuumon’ so they’ve all met Meiko and plot stuff has happened. Whether you like Meiko or not (and the 02 kids), they aren’t relevant here – August 1st is for the original kids and I’m very glad they kept it that way.

Next is Knife of Day. Yamato sung and you could tell he was nervous but he did really well. He seemed to try and do too much of a Yamato voice instead of his natural voice). Yamato talks technical stuff (music wise) and then he high fives and fist bumps one of the band mates?? CUTIE PATOOTIE ALERT!!!! Honestly, he’s so pure and beautiful? One of the band mates tried to go ‘Knife of Day is… well, the name isn’t…’ ‘HAVE CONFIDENCE IT’S ALL GOOD FRIEND!!!!’ ‘Yamato that’s not what-‘ ‘WITH THESE MEMBERS WE’RE KNIFE OF DAY! WE’RE GOOD!!!’ ‘but the name-‘ ‘THESE FOUR MEMBERS. KNIFE OF DAY. HAVE CONFIDENCE!!!!’ Takeru comes along and talks about camp. Yamato is very cute toward Takeru who is worried a little about him. Very sweet scenes. Yamato explains both the band and August 1st are important to him. Later, Takeru buys Yamato a pink sleeping bag because he’s a shit head lmao

Everyone’s at camp, Mimi forgets everything. She’s adorable. People set up camp, which is cute. Yamato runs the kitchen and Hikari is chased by Agumon because she has meat. Of course, Yamato finds out about his sleeping bag and runs after Takeru. Etemon is the camp ground guardian? (What do you call these guys??) He takes their money (OF COURSE) and keeps going ‘there are MONKEYS around here!’ while posing ridiculously and everyone’s like k cool story. Eventually he’s like YOU WANNA SEE A MONKEY?!? But everyone’s like nah bro we good, so he runs off dejected.

The kids talk about the future. Mimi just wants to be a kid forever, but Palmon says she wants to be an adult lol. Koushirou isn’t sure what he wants to do, but says he likes computers. Jyou really talks about why he wants to be a doctor and it’s such a good speech! Yamato and Taichi are both like ‘well, I like my hobby I guess??’ Sora deflects the question, Hikari doesn’t know.

Theres a scene where Jyou sees a shooting star. Nobody else can see it. It’s cute.

Yamato and Taichi try to converse later (it’s just the two of them because Koushirou said something to ruin the mood so Takeru dragged him away even though he was like ‘I’ll stay awake as long as you’re up bro’). It’s mostly Hey Yamato Yeah? …. … . … Yeah?! …Nothing -silence- We have a lot to talk about, huh Yamato? -plays harmonica-

dumb morons lmao (all KoD stuff and Yamato’s harmonica is live. It sounds much better than what the video leads you to believe!!!!)

Mimi: Sora, you awake? …SORA Hikari: aye what up Mimi: GHOST STORY TIME Hikari: starts telling an old experience Mimi: NO TOO SPOOKY STOP STOP LET’S TALK ABOUT LOVE!!!!!

She tries to get info out of Hikari who tries to get info out of her back. They both start going ‘what about Sora’ who stays asleep but Mimi is about to ‘reveal’ who Sora likes when she shoots up and is all like I DON’T LIKE ANYONE!!! They’re all lying down in sleeping bags, so Hikari and Mimi were jumping around in their sleeping bags and Mimi does the CUTEST wiggle!!!

They talk about their dreams and Mimi is like ‘I like lotsa stuff??’ but she thinks it’s stupid and is kinda embarrassed but they’re like?? No? it’s cool to have multiple interests and dreams? WHICH IS A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Jyou leaves early for his exam the next morning. Shit goes down and people split up to solve the problem. Etemon ends up revealing himself to Taichi and co. He’s super strong and is basically like “it’s been six years your time BUT I’VE BEEN SUPER SUPER LONELY FOR 100 YEARS I JUST WANNA CHILL”

There’s a gate so everyone (bar Jyou) is stuck at camp. Etemon forces Tai, Hikari, Sora and Mimi to bbq with him. AND THE ETEMON FIVE. YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT – ETEMON HAS FOUR COLOURED MONKEY BOY BAND FRIENDS. THEY SING AND EAT AND PLAY TOGETHER. THEY’RE THE ETEMON FIVE, COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU!!!

Anyway, there’s a fight and Etemon wins and gets the above group together and the bbq happens. Etemon is super happy to see Hikari (“oniichan!” “eh? You’re the only dude… YOUR SISTER?! HOW ADORABLE!!!”) and she’s like ‘stop fighting’ and he’s like ‘girl? That’s all I want???’ but later they eat all the food and Etemon whips out yakisoba and offers some to Hikari.

“No. I don’t want it.” –awkward silence- Etemon 1: Eh? Why? Etemon 2: -idk- Etemon 3: Don’t push her! Etemon 4: Is it… you’re dieting? If that’s it… I totally understand…

Hikari is done with their shit. She wants to go home. Mimi wants a bath. Sora’s done with this bullshit. They realise time has gone whack so they’ve been there hours. Tai and Sora have a tiff as Tai is trying to keep the peace (doesn’t want to keep fighting, Sora realises they’ve essentially been kidnapped by Etemon 5), Mimi makes Sora back down when she tries to comfort him so Hikari can do it instead. Time is whack so they’ve been there forever, Etemon is like I SAID I WAS LONELY YOU CAN’T LEAVE EVER!!! He then tries to make Taichi be his bestie.

By forcing him into a kiss.

Curtain close.

(Honestly it was the funniest thing – it was a non-sexual kiss, but y’all, consent is consent. I mean, you probably shouldn’t take dating advice from a man in a monkey suit who low key resembles Piko Taro, but like. This is a weird site, Idk where some of you learnt to romance. I feel I need to say that.)

Part Two. Curtain stays shut. Jyou is wandering around the audience. Gomamon says it’s cool he failed his test. Jyou is very dramatic but eventually he reveals he did perfectly. Very cute moment. Etemon comes out after Jyou leaves (curtain still shut) and tries to get the crowd to yell his name. This happened earlier and nobody responded. He asked Taichi what his name was and got no response either ;;;; This time, the audience gave a lukewarm result so we got called weak lol. He then asked us again and we said his name louder, so he was very happy. The curtain was drawn and he almost got pushed away by it.

There’s more of a fight and we see all the groups are separated. The Digimon start feeling affected like how Agumon was at the start. A lot of the discussions they have are mostly about understanding the importance of August 1st, but also realising they can’t stay there forever. Life happens. They need to move on.

A gate appears so everyone is stuck in a barrier. Bar Jyou. Because he understands August 1st, is in the past, but still treasures it. Jyou and Yamato have a really good conversation, and it’s really nice to see Yamato being over the top and emotional around someone who isn’t Takeru or Taichi.

But before that, when everyone realises something is weird Koushirou’s like ‘Jyou is our last hope!’. Yamato and Takeru aren’t… too enthusiastic about that ;;; Anyway, Jyou comes in the barrier like no problem, Takeru tries to show him there’s a problem and Jyou’s like ‘are you miming something? There’s no barrier lol’. Koushirou becomes distrustful that Jyou isn’t the real deal, so he’s like ‘nvm you can leave’ and Jyou does. Only to come right back.

I’m leaving! OKAY BYE!!! –leaves-….-comes back- I’M SERIOUSLY GONNA LEAVE!!! Go right ahead!! …Really?

This exchange goes on for a while and it’s soooooooo funny. Eventually Koushirou and Takeru leave so Yamato and Jyou have their talk, since Yamato is so frustrated he can’t do anything for Gabumon who is clearly unwell.

There’s a fight and Taichi gained confidence from Agumon who is also feeling the effects of the time warp thing. Agumon digivolves into Greymon, and it’s so cool shit. It starts off with a screen and the music and then the big walls move to cover Agumon and BAM life size Greymon!!! It was done soooooo well!!!!

Etemon reveals he isn’t the villain after fighting. (This is kinda spaced out with talking, so like fight talk fight type thing, with having discussions by different groups) It’s kinda like all the previous villains (Dark Masters etc) all merged to form Venommyotism/ Venomvamdemon who is trying to take his revenge. Or something. It’s a little vague. Roll with it. But since that would be hard to make a pupper out of, Etemon just digivolves to King Etemon. It’s so weird because they take off his head???

He struggles with Etemon and eventually Etemon turns into the villain (Venom is just shown on the walls as a projection) and Greymon can’t do much since Venom is too fast/strong, so he digivolves to MetalGreymon. Being in the front row meant I was blast with a lot of icy smoke/fog, which was fun but also… smoke ;;;

Anyway, he still struggles until Yamato comes along with MetalGarurumon. They get their shit together and Omegamon comes out. The Omegamon puppet isn’t the best. It’s from the shoulders up, but it looks slightly too cartoony. Taichi and Yamato stand on his shoulders and end up beating the villain (duh).

Everyone and everything is back to normal, but everyone realises they’re suddenly in their uniforms again. It turns out that everything from when they were wearing casual clothes was a bug. I guess like in the Digital World… sort of? It’s kinda written off as ‘just a dream’. It happened, so everything is canon, but it wasn’t in the digital world but it wasn’t in our world so time was behaving differently.

Yes.

That means Jyou has to do his test again.

It’s vague on how this time bug was created, as is how the villains came back from being dead. That’s not the point of this play. The point is helping the kids to understand that the past is the past, but they need to move on.

It was a really good play, and I encourage you to buy the dvd if you can. If you’d like merch, hmu!

[isakthedragon]

A Dragon Sized Adventure Chapter 41

Chapter 41: The Space Groove

*Crash and all of the other heroes finally enter the Space Terrarium. There are plenty of windows that look out into space here. Most of the walkways here are just scaffolding that is hanging from the ceiling, letting space be freely seen throughout the rest of it (like the Death Egg). There also plenty of machinery and screens about that seem to check the chip itself, although messing with them does nothing, so the might be here for decoration.*

*The doors opens like what you would see on a sci-fi set, with them sliding into the wall.*

Sonic: “Aha! I see we got the futuristic doors here. It must mean we are in the last section, the furthest we can go! Eggman always makes it so obvious.”

Shadow: “Well, Sonic, most of our adventures seem to end in space, somehow.”

Von Clutch asides to Pasadena: “See, I told you they do self-referential humor. They do know they are video game characters.”

Crash: “So then Eggman and Cortex are probably going to be fought here? Sweet!” *He smiles and takes the lead…*

—–

Level 96: Space Walk

Crates: 157

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:30.00

Gold: 1:25.00

Platinum: 1:20.00

Mutants to Save: 6

Helping Partner: Silver

Badniks: ‘Alien’ Lab Assistant Pawn: Barely passing not being a direct copy of ‘that’ creature, this jet black Lab Assistant Pawn tends to pop the top of its head open and fires a ray gun shot from it’s mouth. Shield Lab Assistant Pawn: They stand on the narrow walkway, shoving their shields to push you backwards. They are probably no match to just being ‘thrown’ away into a NITRO crate.

Robots: Robot Walker: Strange little contraptions that just walk around. Don’t touch them, unless you want to be atomized. Sparky Tentacle-bot Units: Annoying little robots that move around with electric tentacles. They will raise and lower them to try and surprise you as you attack. Slap-E: Cortex’s robot servants that will slap anyone who gets close. They are also very melodramatic.

Mutant: Darth Chimpandog: A Chimpanzee + Dog hybrid that wears a Darth Vader helmet, oxygen pack and some futuristic samurai armor. It climbs around aimlessly until it spots you, which will cause it to swing about and use its laser sword to cut you. Znu: Strange little balls of nightmare that only wear underwear. They work for Cotex since there are few Grimlies about. If you don’t attack them, they will use their flashlight as a laser shot to hurt you.

*Cortex appears as a hologram with Uka-Uka.* “ *Sigh.* So the end is in sight. Gather the last 5 crystals and once again, you will have defeated me. Whatever.” *He leaves.*

Uka-Uka is confused on how to go on. “I… um… we will destroy you? Hmm, that doesn’t sound right… Damn it! Cortex! You threw off my groove!” *He disappears too.*

Well, that was strange. But, welcome everyone, to your second home: SPACE!!! (Echo) … Too much? Aw, well. Anyway, Crash and Silver are entering the dangerous workings of the Death Head and must avoid the various traps that line the walkways like pistons, shrink rays, and flipping platforms (and be careful touching the sides of these unless you want to get burned and have cooked bandicoot and hedgehog for dinner, which is coincidentally what Eggman’s eating :P ). And try not to fall off the sides of the walkways either unless you want to experience a full vacuum.

Achievement Unlocked: One Small Step for Bandicoots and Hedgehogs...

—–

Level 97: Rocket and Roll

Crates: 125

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:35.00

Gold: 1:30.00

Platinum: 1:25.00

Mutants to Save: 6

Helping Partner: Spyro

Crash dons his jetpack for this level as zero gravity is introduced into the tubes. Both he and Spyro must make their way through the tubes, avoiding things such as the lasers, floating wires, and hot pipes the clutter and constrict the flyable path. Near the end, the hazards start disappearing as the final doors open up into the open space outside of the space station. I wonder where we are flying to...

Achievement Unlocked: Feeling Weightless

—–

Level 98: The Space Race

Crates: 64

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:10.00

Gold: 1:05.00

Platinum: 1:00.00

Helping Partner: Sonic

Badniks: UFO Lab Assistant Pawns: They fly around in their small ships, trying to abduct you. It is usually an insta-kill unless you have invincibility.

*Crash and Sonic are on the moon floating about the Earth. The Death Head looms in the background, floating silently in an eerie unison.*

Sonic: “So, I heard from Shads and Ames that you wanted to race me, huh?”

Crash nods. “Yeah!”

Sonic: “Well, I’m not one to say not to a competition.” *He smiles in return.* “Now… what can we use for a raceway…” *He looks at their surroundings and finds the moon here has a futuristic city on it (Like Future Frenzy and Gone Tomorrow) .* “Hey, why do you guys have a city on your moon?”

Crash looks. “I… That shouldn’t exist. Cortex did succeed in making a city for him in the future but this one seems to have been made now…”

Sonic shrugs. “All I can think of is that Eggman probably helped him make it.” *And it shows, since there are neon signs everywhere that have stuff like ‘Neo Cortex’ and ‘Eggman’.* “Heh, I bet they won’t mind if we mess around here?”

Crash: “Well, I don’t care. And I know you don’t care, so…”

Sonic: “True that. Ready to race?”

Crash: “Hold on…” *He uses the Emeralds to make them Super.* “If only for a fair race.”

Sonic: “And if anything gets destroyed, aw, well.” *He smirks and both of them get ready...*

It’s a very fast paced race through Cortex’s and Eggman’s city on the moon. Hovering cars are flying all over the streets but they shouldn’t have been driving today as they are the ones to go flying if you bump or crash into them. The big danger here are the UFO Lab Assistant Pawns that fly about to attempt to abduct you, which, in this super form, is just more of an annoying slow down. Keep on the lookout for transport tubes that can pinball you ahead a few streets. And Sonic is not holding back on his speed so you do not want to make too many mistakes. Remember there is a very shiny 2nd gem on the line if you can beat Sonic.

(If Crash wins:) Crash is ecstatic. “YIPPEE!! I did it! I beat the fastest thing alive!”

Sonic smiles: “Indeed you did, Crash. A wonderful job.”

(If Sonic wins:) Sonic: “You did well, Crash, but you see why I am called the fastest thing alive.”

Crash is still smiling: “I know, but it was fun to race you all the same.”

(In either case:) Sonic: “Now, come on, let’s blow this popsicle stand!”

Achievement Unlocked: Going Super Sonic

—–

Level 99: Space Ships

Crates: 179

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:50.00

Gold: 1:45.00

Platinum: 1:40.00

Mutants to Save: 6

Helping Partner: Cream

Badniks: Space Lab Assistant Pawns: They carry ray guns and will fire them with good precision unless you keep moving. Falco: They sure do love jetting around and dropping Pawns and bombs. E-2000: Eggman’s humanoid androids that love lasers and shields. If you get close, they might fire it off at you. If you attack them first, they will use their shield to block attacks until it lowers it again. It’s best to attack it as it fires its laser. Egg Cannon: Avoid those targeting reticles or get shelled.

Crash and Cream find themselves warped high up on the city’s skyline traversing across the rooftops as badniks keep up a relenting attack from the roofs and on the flying ships (With the Eggman and ‘N’ insignia on them) that are passing around. Cannons also send shells their way in an attempt to destroy the duo. Keep on moving to avoid them and soon you will start crossing the ships and destroying the cannons that fired at you. It appears we are taking the ships somewhere, but where…

I bet if you messed around on the ships, i bet you might find a gem in one of them...

Achievement Unlocked: The Future Is Now, Thanks To Science!

—–

Level 100: Gravity Crash

Crates: 220

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:20.00

Gold: 2:15.00

Platinum: 2:10.00

Mutants to Save: 7

Helping Partner: Shadow

Badniks: E-2000R: An upgraded version of the E-2000 that has more health. Oct: Now comes in space octopus flavor. :P Mirror: What bounces off it gets shot back to you. :P

Crash and Shadow keep fighting their way across the various ‘air’ships, taking down all the weaponry along the way. Soon afterwards, they take us back into the Death Head and into the flipping gravity sections of the spaceship. Try to keep a steady balance of speed and grace to avoid the most dangerous badniks and traps that can be faced. And spike balls. Lots of spike balls. I think they like them too much. Either way, our end is just outside the doors that lead into the core…

Oh!, but near the beginning, if you have found all of the colored gems, you can take a secret path through dangerous space of lasers and wildly swinging platforms and past traps to find a second gem and a secret way out of here.

Achievement Unlocked: Flipping and Flopping

—–

*Crash and Shadow end up warped with Dr. Cortex and Uka-Uka in the center of the Space Terrarium where there was a big walkway with a small circular hole in the center.*

Cortex sounds tired as he said: “I’m sorry, I bet you expecting me to be angry and full of rage; incensed beyond belief. Meh, I’m not.”

Uka-Uka: “AND IN FACT, WE’RE FURIOUS-” *He is confused.* “Cortex? What the hell is wrong with you? You’re not supposed to say that!”

Crash and Shadow stand there in confusion as they argue.

Cortex: “What’s the point? They’re just going to defeat us. I’m on a freaking hoverboard and they’re probably going to throw me in that gated hole.”

Uka-Uka: “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

*Cortex seems distant, as though he knows something, but won’t say.*

Uka-Uka: “Whatever… -BUT IT SEEMS YOU OVERLOOKED ONE SMALL DETAIL YOU BANDICOOT AND HEDGEHOG!! NOW THAT YOU HAVE GATHERED ALL THE CRYSTALS, ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS TAKE THEM FROM YOU!!!”

Aku-Aku: “Not if we stop you, brother!” *Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka start fighting each other as we fight Cortex…*

Boss: Cortex

Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka start attacking each other with a huge laser that spreads across the entire arena. You’ll have to jump over it to avoid it. Cortex, meanwhile, is flying around the arena with a barrier and will be shooting shots from his ray-gun at you that must be avoided or you’ll get burned. Soon afterwards, he will throw mines that must be avoided in radius as well. Cortex will then drop his barrier so you can attack him and get him off his hoverboard. You must then attack him and then knock him into the center grate that has broken off and he’ll fall in for damage. Uka-Uka will then save him and return him to his hoverboard. The process will repeat 2 more, but the masks will then spin around the room in a vortex, and then attack and cause an explosion for the last bit.

Achievement Unlocked: It’s Raining Science!

-----

Cortex screams “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” as he falls down the hole and the hoverboard gets destroyed.

Uka-Uka: “No! My meal ticket!” *He chases after Cortex through the hole and is shown that they are falling in space and towards the Earth. Uka-Uka catches up with Cortex.* “Got you! Now…” *He tries to teleport away, but it fails. Eggman had made sure along with shutting off the transport system, he also connected Uka-Uka to it and blocked him from transporting too.* “What?! NO! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

*Both he and Cortex fall to the Earth in a shimmer.*

Aku-Aku: “Hmmm… why did my brother not disappear away with Cortex?” *He shows that he can still teleport, suggesting he is unaffected.*

*Sonic and other help return the grate back to covering the hole. Before anyone can say anything, the monitors around them cut off what they were showing and now display Eggman or his insignia.*

Eggman: “Oh, just a little something I did to the dumbass mask. I made it impossible for him to teleport away so they will crash into the Earth.”

Sonic: “That seems… evil? Why did you not do the same to Aku-Aku?”

Eggman: “Because he isn’t my target… besides, it’s essentially an offering to send you guys home.”

Sonic decides to joke: “You hear that guys? We get to go home!”

Eggman: “Ah, not so fast.”

Sonic: “Figures.”

Eggman: “Don’t leave so soon, you still need to find all of the gems too. I was told by that mask that having all of them works just the same as the crystals. So, why don’t you be good deliveryhogs and find them for me.” *He cuts his feed.*

Crash sighs: “We have to find those gems before he can get his hands on them!”

Sonic: “Good, and then we can finally give Eggman a piece of our minds.”

*The heroes find a platform that takes them to a new terrarium…*

Next Time: It’s B O N U S time in the Bonus Terrarium.

[showingthroughtome]

spit fire - chapter sixteen

if i told you that a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you believe it?

She watches as he shifts on the couch so far from her, as his longer hair brushes the collar of his shirt, and as his profile becomes visible every time he turns his head to listen to someone else talk. Molly rests her head just barely on Noa’s shoulder, getting her to look away and at her friend. They stare at each other silently for a while before Noa consciously reminds herself that she’s fine and proceeds to nudge Molly away again.

read on 1dff - read below - story page

“You guys are ridiculous. What’s wrong with you?” Farrah enters the dorm room to find her two best friends doing jumping jacks in the minimal space they have, taking up all the room. It’s five in the evening and there is no particular reason the two girls are exercising - they already had practice earlier that is more than enough - but nearly every day for the last couple weeks, it’s become the norm.  

“Nothing! We’re great.” Molly answers, hardly breaking a sweat as she does an extra wide jumping jack for emphasis.

Noa follows her lead and picks up the pace, remarking, “You’re the one shoving your mouth with dried beef in the middle of the day.”

Farrah surveys the room for back up as Cara, lounging lazily on Molly’s bed, nods. “Yeah, I agree. They’re ridiculous.”

“We’re exercising our stress away.” Noa slows back down and Molly does the same. In sync, they begin doing a light jog along with the instructor on the workout video they’re following.

“We have two weeks of class left. Chill.” Farrah rolls her eyes and finds a seat next to Cara because she would risk getting hit by moving limbs if she tried getting to her own bed.

“Yeah, so we have to take life more seriously.”

“What Noa said.” Molly agrees, getting down on the yoga mat, her breath slightly shaky. The instructor insists they take a few small breaths before they move onto their next section - yoga - so Noa and Molly sit there, cross legged, audibly inhaling through their nose and out their mouths.

“I can’t with you two.”

Noa can’t see Cara at this point but figures she looks as unamused as Farrah - even though she’s sure it’s got to be a little bit fun to watch the two of them wear themselves out.

“Cara, you should join in on the yoga.” She doesn’t open her eyes as she pats a place beside her on the mat. “Don’t be like Farrah.”

“I don’t know, I kind of like it up here.” A familiar crinkle of a beef jerky package is tacked along with Cara’s words, then the chewy crunch of the weird meat the two lazy girls seem to love so much.

Noa could never see the appeal. “Whatever. If you get all bloated from that salt, don’t come crying to me.”

“Or me.” Molly takes another deep breath.

“Oh come on, after the last two weeks of me doing it for you nonstop, neither one of you would wipe a tear away for me?” Farrah remarks with a laugh like what’s been going on in their lives is already something to joke about.

By the way Molly’s deep breathing automatically stops and Noa’s heart rate picks up, it clearly isn’t.

“Seriously, Far’?” Noa’s eyes snap open and dart to Farrah and then back to Molly. Because not only has Noa been a bit of an emotional drama queen as of late but so has Molly. Her tears have been wiped by Farrah just as much as Noa’s have - approximately three times each. Molly has been trying to hide it with excessive trips to the bathroom or facing the wall as she ‘naps’. Apparently ending things with Zayn wasn’t as easy as she thought either.

Their end was sudden - the Monday after Noa left Harry’s place - and it was without any particular reason. Molly just explained it away as the inevitable. But still, somewhere in the very back of Noa’s mind, she blames herself.

Maybe that day when Noa came home and told the two girls about how she couldn’t lay next to Harry and pretend she was okay anymore made something change inside of Molly. She might’ve saw herself in Noa or got scared the same thing would happen. When Noa found out about Zayn and Molly ceasing to exist as an almost couple, her heart got a little bit sadder.

“Sorry.” Farrah bit her lip and whispered out, realizing the error of making a joke of it. Though, she doesn’t take any pause in asking curiously, quietly, “Speaking of… are you guys going to come to the party tonight?”

“I’m good.” Noa shakes her head, unable to believe Farrah would even ask, following along with the half angle pose displayed on the screen.

Cara sat up further so she could try to get a better look as she questioned in an easy voice, “What? You’ve avoided it for two weeks already.”

Noa doesn’t know what to say to be honest, and Molly is too focused on her position, so without making sense, she transitions to a plank and sighs, “Yeah.”

“You can’t let Harry keep you from having fun.” And there’s Farrah - blunt and abrupt and pulling out names Noa is not trying to hear. “You gotta get back out there.”

For one, “I don’t let Harry keep me from anything.” And for two, “I don’t need to get anywhere.” Noa says as she remains as calm as possible, resenting Farrah’s accusations. Farrah huffs loudly without attempting an actual response. Molly chuckles at the huff and Noa let’s her pose drop, looking over at Farrah and stating as clearly as she can so the blonde won’t try to argue it anymore, “It’s just hard to see him and Nina together, okay?”

“They are not together.” Farrah exclaims with wide eyes, arguing with Noa even though she tried her hardest for that not to happen.

Exasperation washes over her. “They hang out now.”

“Because you left him in the middle of the night and haven’t said two words to him since.”

Noa’s jaw drops at the way one of her closest friends defends the basketball player - Farrah is usually one of the leading members of the drag Harry into hell for what he’s done squad. In as simple of terms as she can, Noa punches each word. “Harry kissed Nina, Farrah.”

“I know that. And he’s fucked for that.”

“Such a dick.” Cara interjects in the pause Farrah takes, clearly about to say something else by the way her eyes dart around, searching for the right words.

“But I don’t want you thinking he’s not brooding every night while Nina sits there and pretends to be his friend.”

Farrah’s words do little to comfort Noa. She’s heard all the rumors and seen Nina and Harry together a few times. She hasn’t spoken to him except for one time since that last night they spent together and that was just a quick hello passing in the classroom - the classroom that she managed to switch seats with someone in so she could get a spot in the very back corner, as far away from Harry as possible. On that following Monday, when Harry got to class and found her in a different seat, he immediately turned around and skipped. That Wednesday, he did the exact same. He didn’t even show up on Friday. But on the next Monday, he showed up and offered her a smile and a wave. Noa ignored him and pretended she didn’t hear the rumors she heard just minutes before.

“They’re probably fucking.” Noa completely gives up on the yoga and sits on her butt, picking at the foamy mat.

“Noa.” It’s Molly saying her name this time - in that way where it’s like a scold to stop whatever she’s doing. In this instance, Molly is trying to keep Noa from going down that toxic line of thought that kept her up at night.

Instead of listening, she shrugs. “What? They are.”

“I know for a fact they’re not.” Cara, in all her beauty and calm, claims like she has no doubt in her mind. Something Noa is overly jealous of.

“How?”

“I asked Liam.”

“Hey! I asked Louis.” Farrah shoves Cara playfully by the shoulder, tapping a finger to her temple. “Great minds.”

Noa will enjoy their cuteness at another time, for now she’s left wondering, “And?”

“Louis said that literally nothing is up with them.”

She takes that in and a huge part of herself can believe it, but another part still hears the snickering of the cheerleaders sitting two rows up from her in sports management five days ago. Leaning back on her elbows, Noa decides that either way it doesn’t matter. In an uncaring voice, she quirks an eyebrow, “So?”

“So when you see them together, ignore the hell out of those losers.” Farrah makes it sound way easier as she runs a hand through her short hair, flipping it. She shifts her gaze to Molly, who hasn’t stopped doing yoga, and opens that mouth of hers again. “Molly, Zayn hasn’t been with anyone else either.”

Noa really really really has to remember how much Farrah doesn’t mean to sound like a bitch and how she really does mean well. She’s probably just so happy with Louis that she doesn’t remember how truly, gut wrenchingly rough times can be after breaking things off with someone. How the sound of that person’s name can make all the conflict flash in your mind and shock your system at the unwanted second guessing.

“Do you think I give a fuck?” Molly snaps as she shifts to a cobra more violently than the instructor. Noa admires her ability to keep up the calming exercise while still sounding anything but.

Farrah does a double take, so clueless as to what she’s doing wrong. “I’m just trying to get you two back to our normal Friday nights. There is no need to be so mad at me.”

Molly looks over at her and shakes her head incredulously. “You need to learn to drop things, babe.”

Farrah checks to see what Noa has to say on that front and gets an eager nod, then turning to Cara, she agrees with a, “Ya kinda do.”

“Fine. It’s dropped.” Farrah melts back into the bed, picking up her bag of meat and phone, shooing her hand away, “Back to your yoga.”

Taking in a deep inhale, Noa gets into a cobra of her own, making eye contact with Molly and sharing a knowing look before winking and diving back into what’s been keeping them both sane for the last twelve days.

—

Farrah and Cara leave for the frat house two hours later, once Noa and Molly sprawl themselves on the floor and begin relaxing to the sound of a Jim Carrey movie. Not without one last plea from Farrah, they are left alone to laugh at the weird comedy and pretend they aren’t thinking about something else entirely.

And that works for a little while, until Molly gets restless and kicks out her legs for no obvious reason.  

“Ya know, I know this is only the second week of our singleness -” She starts with a hesitant way to her voice which Noa, not ready to concede completely into thoughts away from surface level, automatically shakes her head.

“I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been single.” Noa picks up the remote control, barely paying mind to Molly, and searches for something else to entertain her.

“Sure you have been, Noa. Just as single as me.” Molly rolls her eyes as Noa rebounds a piece of popcorn off her forehead due to the remark. Molly never really admits to anyone but Noa that she was indeed taken by Zayn. Zayn probably didn’t even know it, just as Harry pretended like he didn’t with Noa. But again, Noa doesn’t want to go there right now, so she throws another piece of popcorn at her friend. Molly bats it away perfectly this time and continues, “Anyway, it’s only my second Friday in and I’m fucking annoyed.”

“What? Why are you annoyed?”

“I want to get drunk. I want to see Niall do a keg stand and Louis try to copy him.” Molly speaks with desperation in her voice over silly things, then cracks a wide smile at her ridiculous words. “I want to see you rip a bong so hard that everyone stares at you with awe.”

Noa laughs and dramatizes a gag. “I hate bongs.” She shudders and things of how hard they hit and how much pain they cause and how unnecessary she finds them - a sentiment not many stoners share.

“High Noa loves to hit a bong.”

Noa can’t disagree, because when you’re already flying high, it’s hard for smoke in your lungs to hurt too bad. She starts picking at her perfectly done fingernail polish and thinks of what Molly is really trying to say. She decides it doesn’t actually have anything to do with what she says she misses but someone. “Do you maybe miss Zayn ripping a bong too?”

“Not really.” Molly lies. “It’s better this way.” She resigns and snuggles deeper into the blankets, suddenly looking smaller and helpless. It plucks at Noa’s heartstrings and doesn’t go away in the following minutes that they watch commercials flash on the screen. Noa takes a second to really look at her friend - hopefully not being too obvious - and sees just how upset she is. Her eyes aren’t brimming with tears and she isn’t sniffling her nose, but bags from restless nights are just beginning and nails bitten down to the nub are showing.

“Let’s go.” Noa surprises herself with the words as her body is popping off of Farrah’s bed, her eyes searching for her shoes. “Let’s go to this fucking party and you get wasted and I get high and let those fuckers see what they’re missing.” The decision becomes real only after she’s said it and hears how determined she sounds, convincing herself right then that that’s exactly what will happen.

“Okay!” Molly gets out of bed just as quickly.  “Can I hook up with someone?”

“You do you, my friend.” Noa pats Molly on the shoulder and chuckles at the idea that hasn’t even crossed her own mind get. “I’m not touching another gross boy for at least a month.”

“I’m going with a different method.”

“Clearly.” She grins at her friend who rushes off to the mirror and begins sweeping a brush across her face. Ten minutes later, they both deem themselves acceptable for the public eye - Noa having slid on the shortest dress she owns that doesn’t make her look like she is trying too hard.

“Fucking fantastic.” Molly says from behind her as she checks Noa out, locking the door and hoping for the best time the night can bring.

—

“They don’t even look good together.” Noa slurs over her words more than she has in months and stares harder than she can ever recall. Her eyes are boring holes into the back of Harry’s head as he sits on the couch next to Nina - along with a few other people that Noa ignores.

He hasn’t seen her yet, she doesn’t think. Or maybe he doesn’t care. Maybe he is over her by now and won’t even acknowledge her if he does see her. She huffs and takes another sip of her shitty UV blue.

“Not at fucking all.” Molly says every word clear with emphasis. “She always looks like she got a whiff of something bad. Maybe Harry this time?”

Noa hangs her head at the recollection of how wrong Molly’s assumption is. She gets hit with the scent of obscure fruits and oils that were combined to make a cologne that just happens to play off his natural smell pretty damn wonderfully.

“Nah.” She regretfully shakes her head. “He’s an asshole but he always smells good.”

“Same with Zayn.” Molly quietly concurs moments later, then, sadly she adds, “He always looks really fucking good too.”

The longing is tangible in Molly voice - with one look, Noa can tell that her friend is desperate to cross the room and find Zayn standing next to Niall and his new girlfriend. As much as Noa likes having someone sitting next to her while she wallows over the guy hanging out with another girl, she knows Molly has to leave her.

“Go.” She gestures her hands, shooing her friend away. “Talk to him.”

Molly snaps her gaze away from her boy and to Noa, shaking her head, “No.”

“I appreciate you breaking up with him in solidarity -”

“That’s not what happened.”

“But I don’t want you to be unhappy because I am.” Noa ignores whatever claim Molly makes. Deep down both Molly and Noa are aware that Molly did what she did because sure, she was partly scared to get hurt, but mainly she didn’t want Noa to feel alone.

“Noa, I don’t want you to be unhappy at all.” Molly grabs Noa’s wrist, clutching it carefully, speaking in a sensitive tone - half drunk and half real emotion.

Noa has to laugh at that - at the way Molly is so strong and sturdy on the outside but would sacrifice her own happiness so her friends weren’t any sadder than necessary. It caused a warmth to bust in Noa and she decides right then that the love she feels for and from Molly is better than any guy.

“Let’s just get married, okay?” She jokes but wouldn’t run from the chance if it really came down to it.

Molly playfully retracts in unease. “This commitment kind of grosses me out actually so I’m going to go.”

“Bye.” Noa pushes Molly further off the couch, encouraging her.  “Seriously, go. Make up with him. Fall back into whatever you guys were. Be happy.”

“What if he kisses Nina?”

“He won’t.” Noa, looking back over to Harry and Nina, finds them unmoved, talking to different people in different directions but still side by side. “Zayn has always been all about you. His bloodshot eyes have never strayed.”

Molly doesn’t have to search to know where Noa’s gaze lays, she follows and as much as she hates sounding like Farrah, she sighs, “Harry never looked away from you either but he still kissed her.”

Inhaling, ignoring the pit in her stomach, Noa admits, “Well… Harry is an exceptional guy.”

She watches as he shifts on the couch so far from her, as his longer hair brushes the collar of his shirt, and as his profile becomes visible every time he turns his head to listen to someone else talk. Molly rests her head just barely on Noa’s shoulder, getting her to look away and at her friend. They stare at each other silently for a while before Noa consciously reminds herself that she’s fine and proceeds to nudge Molly away again.

“I love you.” She kisses Noa on the cheek as she gets up from her seat and straightens her outfit. “I’m going to go.”

“Think of me.” Noa calls out to her after she takes a few steps in Zayn’s direction.

Molly throws over her shoulder, “Always.”

And then Noa is on a couch alone with a bottle of alcohol in front of her. She contemplates staying there and drinking the rest of, maybe dancing if a song she likes comes on, finding a friend who will take her mind off of things. But then, Harry gets up from the couch and she realizes that she’s looking at him again - as if she can’t help it and he’s the negative magnet end to her positively charged end.

He walks into another room with other couches and other people, still oblivious to Noa being there. She doesn’t know why it bothers her that he hasn’t noticed her yet - it’s not like she’d do anything if he were to send her a wave or a smile. Either way, it does bother her so she drops her cup on the table, zips up her coat, and walks back to her dorm, calling a friend on the way and asking if he could possibly spare some time to help out an old friend.

—

“Noa.” A deep voice breaks through her slumber, bringing her slowly to the edge of consciousness with a warm hand on her bare shoulder. She revels in the feeling for a moment until that voice sounds again, “Wake up.” Shawn’s early morning gruff comes on strong as he urges, “Let’s get breakfast.”

Noa blinks her eyes, adjusting to the light of her dorm and the situation she finds herself in. She looks down under her sheet and finds nothing but her naked body. Flashes of the night before come into focus slowly and all of sudden, the whole night is replaying. Shawn answering the phone. Shawn coming to her door. Shawn kissing on her neck as she peels off his clothes. Herself biting her lip in ecstasy as Shawn grunts on top of her.

Rubbing her eyes, she resists his offer. “No. I’m okay.”

“We should talk.” Shawn laughs at her negative reaction to him, surprising Noa with his mature statement. She didn’t know Shawn knew how to talk. “Why did you call me here last night?”

She flips around so her back is no longer to him and watches as he rolls off her bed. She deflects the question with some of her own. “Why did you answer? Why did you come over?”

“Noa. Stop. You knew I’d come over.” Shawn doesn’t sound mad or upset but like he’s not trying to bullshit Noa. Somehow, it feels like she is about to have the most real conversation with the football player she has ever had.

“I don’t know, Shawn. What do you want me to say?”

“Say you called because you were lonely and not because you want to do this thing again.” He says like a statement and also a question, like he doesn’t want her to want to do this thing again but at the same time he does.

“Why?” She sits up and arches a brow, pointing to the jeans he has been searching the floor for.

“You don’t, Noa. And neither do I. But as long as you’re asking, I’ll show up.” He zips up his jeans and picks up his shoes, having no problem admitting that he has a weakness for Noa. She has no clue what to say - she is so far from familiar with such honesty from him - and he must see that because he shrugs one shoulder and laughs, “What can I say, you’re a great time in bed.”

She scratches her head. “Thanks I think.”

Shawn pulls over his hoodie and pops out of the head hole saying, “You know what I’m saying though, right?”

“Last night was fun but don’t call you again.”

“Right.” He smiles and nods his head hopefully. “But like I said, we can be friend.”

It is Noa’s turn to laugh, thinking back on how that line of thought caused a phone call that in turn caused some changes in her life that she isn’t exactly fond of. “You know, last time you said that a series of events lead to the lowest I’ve felt in a while.”

“Dramatic.” He rolls his eyes, not understanding how serious she is actually being.

He’s putting his phone in his pocket and grabbing his keys, almost out of the door when Noa can’t help but ask, feeling dirty all over, “So what? You’ve got a girlfriend or something?”

“No. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t sleep around on chicks.”

“But you’ve got someone you’re interested in?”

“Maybe.” Shawn attempts his best sly smirk - it misses something for Noa, a dimple perhaps, but it is an okay try.

Still, she’s immediately pissed off at the guy, throwing a pillow at him.

“Then what the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you come over last night?” Noa will never understand guys as she fumes for whoever this other girl is. Sure she called him over, but she was drunk and kind of sad and wanting attention - she’ll admit it. Plus, she didn’t even know Shawn had another girl he was seriously feeling.

How come no guy in her life could be a tiny bit loyal to their girls? Ever? Shawn doesn’t scratch the surface of explaining this as he tells her how he’s never even had sex with this other girl yet. All Noa can think while listening to the story is how bizarre it is to be hearing stories like this from a guy she is sure used to tell stories about her.

She can’t help but wonder if Harry does the same now.

[sundance201]

Five Things That Could Have Happened in the Ambulance...

And One Thing That Really Did

Just a little something that I’ve been thinking of since “The Lying Detective.” A little bit of smut (#2, for those of you that just want a little bit of smut :P), a little bit of angst, a little bit of fluff. Read on for the story, or you can read on Ao3! Hope you enjoy!

One

“I take it that this is all going the way you planned then?” Molly asked sharply, staring at Sherlock as the ambulance moved steadily towards its destination.

“It is. You saw his reaction,” Sherlock said, pointedly looking anywhere but at his friend. “This will work.”

She scoffed. “If you don’t die first.”

“Molly, I’ve told you – the usage is controlled.”

“Yeah, because most of the bodies that end up on my slab totally planned to overdose that day. Controlled usage isn’t really comforting in this situation, Sherlock.” Her jaw tightened and she finally looked away. “You know how I feel. I’ll do whatever you need me to, but I think this is an idiotic plan.”

“You’ve made that more than clear, Molly.”

“Because it’s fucking true, Sherlock. You’re playing fast and loose with your own life and I can’t stand it!” Molly’s fists clenched as she shouted at him and she looked back up at him, fire blazing in her eyes. “Just don’t fucking die.”

“I’ll try my best not to,” he retorted and Molly grimaced, looking away.

They spent the rest of the ride in tense silence.

Two

She was on him the second that the ambulance closed its doors. It hadn’t even started moving when her nimble fingers reached down and started rubbing him through his trousers. “I’ve missed you, Sherlock. I’ve missed your cock.”

He smirked, pushing her white coat from her shoulders and desperately tugging her blouse from her skirt. “It’s missed you too.”

She giggled and briefly took her hand away in order to pull her skirt up in order to show him the stockings that she’d put on that morning, knowing what was in store. “Oh good girl,” he murmured, his fingers skimming over the creamy skin of her thighs at the top of the stockings. “Was wondering how this was going to work if you were wearing tights.”

She grinned wildly and pushed him back against the gurney that was strapped down. Her fingers were back at his trousers, frantically unbuttoning and unzipping. His head fell back against the wall of the ambulance as her fingers reached inside his trousers and pants, finding his cock hot and hard for her already. “It’s been so long.”

He growled and pulled her onto his lap – one hand holding her hip and the other diving into her knickers, fingertips stroking along her wetness. “I know, Molly,” he murmured, his lips at her throat. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She knew he wasn’t apologizing for the lack of sex.

“Shhhh,” she whispered, one of her hands coming up to tug at his hair, forcing him to look up at her. “We don’t have long.” She bent her head and kissed him passionately, trying to pour her desperation and her fear into the kiss, expressing herself with words instead of actions.

He pulled aside her knickers as she straddled him properly, positioning his cock with one hand as the other steadied herself on his shoulder. She sank down on him quickly, knowing that they didn’t have any time to lose. “I love you,” she whispered against his shoulder, as her hips slammed against his.

“I love you too,” he replied. The fingers that clenched at her hip suddenly moved between their bodies, eagerly seeking out her clit. “Come for me, Molly. Make me come with you.”

She moaned, increasing her pace until she was certain that the movement of the ambulance wasn’t just due to its journey. With one last circle of her clit, she whimpered through her release, clutching Sherlock to her as he shuddered and bit down on her shoulder, stifling his cries.

“Not much longer now,” he whispered and she wasn’t sure if she was talking about the ride or his plan.

“I know.” Her fingers threaded through his hair, comforting him as best she could. “I know.”

Three

Sherlock smirked as he sat on the gurney and the ambulance took off. “Chess, Molly? Really?”

She shrugged. “I found it in a little store near my house – it’s magnetic. So the pieces won’t go flying everywhere. Figured we’d have enough time to play a quick game. I know you’d prefer Cluedo, but it wasn’t as travel-friendly.”

A soft meowing sounded from the corner and Sherlock turned with a smile on his face. “I brought Toby too. Thought he might calm you,” Molly said, smiling as Sherlock picked up his familiar feline friend.

He grinned, scratching Toby behind the ears. “Molly Hooper, you always know exactly what I need.”

She leaned forward and gently kissed his cheek. “C’mon then, we’ve only got about 20 minutes before we get to the studio. Better get playing.”

Four

They sat beside each other, their shoulders brushing together. “She’s getting so big. She’s getting ready to crawl,” she pointed to their goddaughter, so was rocking back and forth on her hands and knees. Sherlock smiled sadly as he watched the video of his goddaughter on Molly’s phone.

“She babbles too. Sounds like she’s spouting off deductions – she’ll give you a run for your money,” Molly teased. She leaned toward him, bumping against him and smiling sweetly.

“She’s grown so much.” He sighed. “I’ve missed so much.”

“John will forgive you. Your half-arsed scheme will work.”

“It’s Mary’s scheme.”

Molly shook her head. “No. Mary’s idea would have been fully formed. Your’s is idiotic.” Her eyes turned sad for a moment, exiting out of her phone’s videos. “She would have figured out something better than ‘go after a serial killer and act like you’re off your tits on drugs.’ I guarantee it.”

He chuckled sadly and looked down. His hand knocked against her phone. “Show me the one with the ball again. We’ve got a few more minutes before we arrive.”

Five

She quickly snapped on the latex gloves and put her hands on her hips, as Sherlock sprawled himself out on the gurney. “Roll up your sleeves,” she said, no room for argument in her voice.

“Molly,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. “I called you here to examine me just to show John that I would be able to predict his actions, but there’s really no need to actually examine me, is there? You can already tell all that you need to know.”

“Roll. Up. Your. Sleeves.”

He sighed heavily and did as she asked. Molly grabbed his hand and inspecting the track marks and bruising. “This vein is in danger of collapsing.”

“I know,” he muttered. “It won’t. I’ve started injecting elsewhere. And this shouldn’t continue for too much longer.” Molly’s eyes narrowed and he tried his best to look nonchalant. “You needn’t look so worried, Molly. I know exactly what I’m doing.”

She took his pulse while she still had his arm stretched out. “Your pulse is erratic.”

“You really intend on carrying out a physical on me, then?”

Molly glared. “Well that’s what you called me here for. Take your trousers down.” She would have laughed at the way that his eyes widened at her firm direction. She stepped back, giving him as much space as she could in the small vehicle. “You were the one who suggested it. Are you afraid that you’re at risk for a hernia?”

Sherlock chuckled darkly and sat up, his hands going to his fly, unbuttoning his trousers and unzipping them as well. It was like they were locked in a game of chicken – each one refusing to turn away.

“Stand up,” she ordered him, holding onto a bar to keep herself steady as the ambulance made its way through the London traffic. Carefully, he stood, leaning slightly against the gurney. Molly made her way back over to him. Her latex covered fingers slid over his abdomen and inside of his pants. She bypassed his cock completely, which was half hard from this strange game of doctor that she was playing with him, and wrapped her fingers around his testicles, squeezing just enough to walk the line between pleasure and pain. He bit his lip to keep silent.

She then released him, and moved her hand into position, as if she was actually examining him. “I think this is where you turn your head and cough,” she said sharply, a saccharinely sweet smile on her face.

He smirked and did as she asked. “You’re a fucking prick, Sherlock,” she muttered.

“No, that’s my fucking prick,” he said, nodding down to his cock, her hands still down his pants. She could tell that he was quite pleased with himself. His humor always got dirty when he was high.

“I hope that you know what you’re doing. I hope it’s worth it.” Despite her harsh words, she carefully zipped him back up, making sure not to catch him in the zip.

“It will be.”

And the one thing that really did happen…

“Alright, tell me more about this plan of yours. Why exactly am I here?” Molly said, grabbing onto the overhead bar to keep herself steady as the ambulance started off for the studio. Sherlock had sat down on the gurney, seeming to look everywhere but her. He shrugged off his dressing gown and Molly’s eyes narrowed. “What do you want me to tell John?”

“The truth,” he said simply. Molly shook her head. When had Sherlock ever wanted her to tell the truth? She looked at him, really looked at him for the first time since she’d gotten into the ambulance with him.

“Oh my god,” she whispered. “Oh my god, you’re actually high. You aren’t acting.”

He shrugged, avoiding her gaze. “John’s seen me high before. Really high. Couldn’t fake it.”

“Flimsy excuse,” she said, her jaw tightening. She took a deep breath, attempting to remain calm. “Do you have a list?”

He didn’t even try and fight it. He reached into his pocket, muttering how he was lucky it didn’t fall out in the boot, and handed over the scrap of paper. Molly’s lips thinned as she read over everything that Sherlock had been taking for the past few weeks. “Jesus Christ, Sherlock! You’re really hell-bent on killing yourself this time, aren’t you?”

He rolled his eyes and waved her off. “It’s only for a little bit longer.”

“Yeah, because if you continue on this for any longer than a ‘little bit,’ you’ll end up on my slab. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“It’s for Mary,” he said quietly, his false bravado falling suddenly. “She asked me to.”

“What?”

“She knew if this happened…she knew how John would react. How he’d cease to function. So she told me to find a baddie and dive straight into hell and John will pull me back out.”

“You shouldn’t kill yourself for John.”

“I’ve already done it once. You helped, remember?”

“Not the same, Sherlock.”

“Mary asked me, Molly. She died for me. I couldn’t very well deny her last request from the grave.”

“She shouldn’t have. You can’t almost kill yourself to save John. He can’t…if he doesn’t want to be saved, we can’t do anything about it. Sherlock, think about Rosie. Think about our goddaughter. She will need as much support as possible growing up and if she can’t get it from John, she’ll have to get it from us.” She fixed him with her gaze, but he was unable to meet her eyes. Her jaw tightened and she shook her head, before looking down at the list again. “You’ve been doing this for weeks now, Sherlock. Is this…why I haven’t seen you? How did I not know when you came to see me in the lab?”

“I chose to come and see you just as the high was wearing off, but before I was desperate for another hit. It was when I was most like myself. You didn’t notice because we’re all grieving. What you did notice, you wrote off as grief. Technically, you weren’t wrong,” he muttered.

She shook her head and sat down heavily next to Sherlock on the gurney. She grabbed his hand and rolled up his sleeve, taking in the bruises and the track marks. “Jesus, Sherlock…”

“I am trying to monitor my usage as much as possible. Keep it under control.”

“This is not control.” Her fingers threaded through his, keeping a hold of his hand. “Sherlock, please. Please don’t do this.”  

“Molly just…trust me. I must do this. I have to save John Watson.”

“Then promise me you won’t kill yourself in the process,” she whispered, turning towards him and stroking his cheek gently with her thumb. “Please. I couldn’t bear it. Not you.”

He leaned forward, his forehead touching hers. They jolted forward as the ambulance came to a stop. Molly bit her lip as she waited for his response. But instead of promising her, he simply shifted his head, lightly kissing her cheek. “Help me, Molly. Tell him the truth,” he murmured.

The doors to the ambulance opened and Sherlock nudged her towards the front. She glanced back at him and he simply nodded at her, before turning and grabbing his coat.

She sat down at the edge of the ambulance, her fingers laced together in her lap as she watched the limo approach. She saw John get out and suddenly, all the emotions she was worried she might have to fake came rushing to the forefront. She was angry with John for not seeing sense when it came to Sherlock; she was furious with Sherlock for trying to kill himself just to save John; she was aching because she just wanted Mary back, more than ever in this moment.

“Well? How is he?” John asked, when he got closer to her.

Sherlock’s voice rang out from behind her. “Basically fine.”

“I’ve seen healthier people on the slab,” she bit out. She could feel the tension radiating off her body. She would be there for Sherlock, but she wasn’t so sure that he would be there for her when all was said and done.