#(I hate the culture of present buying but I think Im good at it)

[redrobin-detective]

I hate the commercialization of Christmas centered around present giving, that I am socially forced to buy things for both people I love and people I want to choke on a starburst. I hate the forced, fake cheer around as people pretend they’re being good and charitable by buying overly priced junk just to tick off a box on their to do list. I hate that most of the time, people are too stressed by having to buy so many people gifts that often they just buy whatever just to have something to wrap which the receiver doesn’t even want resulting in a circle jerk of stress for everyone involved with no net gain.

[slenderfirebolt]

Since im up too late i may as well make a too-long post about my thoughts on meat consumption in its present form. So, while im not completely against eating animals on an ethical level (animals eat eachother in nature, we evolved from animals that ate animals, pretty normal stuff) most of my issues come from our means of meat production and the insane amount of food waste, which while especially bad in the US, i imagine definetly exists everywhere else. the main reason why i was fine with eating meat before is because it feels so wasteful to *not* get the benefits after everything the animal went through. i imagine myself from the perspective of the animal; i am born to be a product, i am fed and watered only so that my flesh may be harvested for consumption by a being beyond my understanding. i may live without ever seeing the sun or feeling the wind... that fucking sucks, obviously evil. So when i consider that the life of so many animals, i feel terrible thinking about how after that, so much of the meat is wasted, left to rot and be thrown away. while it would still be an ethical dillemna even if we *did* consume 100% of the meat produced by factory farms, the fact that we basically make animal grinders to mass-produce living, feeling things and then *chuck most of it in the trash* is utterly unacceptable to me. Factory farming is likely to continue forever, even though we have many alternitaves to meat, plenty of people still eat meat *because* it is from an animal, so that demand will always exist. worse than that, a sudden decrease in demand would lead to *further* food waste, and some meat alternitaves are too expensive for everyone to afford. also, theres a cultural aspect as well, many cultures are very meat-centric or have the raising of animals for meat as a core practice, what right would anyone have to decide that a tradition or practice should end? so if i have so many reasons why its ok to eat meat, why am i deciding to cut back now? it seems like, at least from my perspective, my reasoning is fairly ethically sound. well firstly, its expensive if its anything other than chicken and im a college student, and given the fact ill probably need a *doctorate* and at minimum a master's in my field, any savings is good. Holy fucking shit i hate having to use my teeth to scrape bones free of their meat, also eating tendons is annoying. overally, eating tofu and beans tends to provide me more enjoyment (an important part of good food) than eating most meats. they are more consistent, can have plenty a variety of flavors, and while certainly far from *cheap* depending on brand, the cost/enjoyment/calorie balance, at least for me, is better than meats. easier to cook alternitaves. wont poison you if you cook em wrong. also since its so consistent its fairly predictable, and you dont have to navigate all the bones. to be completely honest, im unsure if ill end up totally ommitting meat products from my diet, since i dont want to waste food thats given to me, and i still want to enjoy the foods i do eat that involve meat, but i think from now on im not going to buy meat as part of groceries, and instead consume the alternitaves. i have already been on track to do this for months, the chicken that inspired this is the first 'meaty' thing i have eaten in ages. If anyone has any particular favorite vegetarian dishes, especially on the cheaper end, lemme know, since im more than open to try them out.

[jypbae7]

Im Changkyun - Natal Chart

- requested by @jookyunz

Can’t remember if you wanted the 18+ section so I included it at the bottom and marked it incase you wanna skip it ❤️

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Aquarius Mars

Aquarius Sun comes with lots of intrigue and lots of complexity - like the other air signs Aquarius is very adaptable and tends to prefer an “exciting life” (though earth signs tend to see this lifestyle as pure chaos lmao)

Aquarians tend to be intrigued by mystical things due to their very logical view of the world, this logical side can often lend to them coming off as cold or aloof but it’s less about that and more about their need to rule with the head and not the heart in order to avoid being thrown off the balance that they like (Aqua is a fixed sign) also they do NOT want to be hurt by people so the guard they have up towards the world is basically an iron curtain till they develop enough trust with you

Aries Moon is equally as spontaneous and adaptable but for a different motivation - Aries is bold and wants the most out of life and you can bet your bottom dollars they’ll do WHATEVER necessary to gain the lifestyle and goals they set for themselves.

But since they are naturally social butterflies and genuinely just want to have fun and encourage the people they love to reach for their dreams and have fun doing it, they tend to succeed rather easily since people are drawn to them. - All about confidence, bold styles, working hard because they NEED to be the best at whatever they do, but they definitely play hard too (as does every fire sign lmao)

As much as Aries and Aquarius like change and excitement - Capricorn Mercury does NOT. This adds a LOT of grounding and “tradition” to quick moving Aries and unconventional Asquarius.

Capricorn Mercurys are known to speak slow, quite monotonous and precise which I definitely have always felt about Changkyun. You’re not getting too much fluff or extra words from them because Capricorn finds it a waste of energy. They say what they mean when they mean it and not much else more. But this means they are good listeners and are very comfortable and unreliant on “attention” or “being in the spotlight” giving them added levels of independence. I also feel that this is why they are sooooo unbothered by other people’s opinions and friendship.

Aquarians straight up rather be alone than around fake people. They don’t care if they “fit in” with general norms because they don’t want to be like anyone else anyway lmao and they are interesting enough to keep themselves entertained. While Capricorn and Aries have places to go, people to see, and goals to crush so why the hell be worried about others???

Mixed with the other 2 placements it’s likely that his home is a serious sanctuary for him that he takes seriously. When he’s out in the world doing his busy schedules and chaotic traveling and work he’s happy and really feeding into the air and fire energy. But when he gets home it’s his Capricorn Mercury that is being nurtured and stimulated. He’s going to wanna hibernate there for a while without leaving especially if he’s been gone a long time. Could be either unbelievably messy or unbelievably neat but likely no inbetween with these placements lmao.

Aquarius Mars.... reminder that Aquarius is a fixed sign so this in Mars could mean one HELL of a temper or at least rage once he’s set off. But thankfully the Airy nature of Aqua means you’d really have to mess with him to get that kind of reaction because they generally really dislike being upset. They prefer staying content and neutral rather than having extreme feelings of any kind or it makes them veryyyyy edgy. If you can disagree with respect and if you provide logic instead of ego as your argument you’re likely to get a much better reaction from Aquarius

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships & overall communication style: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Aquarius Mars

Boy oh boyyyyyy he takes a LONG time to open up to people - 2 Aquarius placements and a Capricorn placement screamssssss trust issues and vulnerability issues

Capricorn doesn’t wanna sulk and talk about their problems so IF they trust you enough to come to you with an issue they want solutions and practical help and support

Is really cheered up by acts of service and quality time - watching a great movie even in complete silence just near each other on the couch in sweats tucked under cozy blankets or getting surprised with their favorite dinner can boost their mood instantly

Aries Moon as I said before is a natural in social situations and tends to draw attention even when they aren’t trying so he’s bound to come off a lot more open and friendly than he actually is. The deep stuff won’t come out till he REALLY knows and trusts you and even then… in SMALL increments

That said he’s a super fun friend to have - down for adventures, actually thinks about and puts effort into doing cool stuff with friends and loved ones

When it comes to friendships he shows care through quality time and acts of service

When he buys gifts for people he cares about they are BOMB - cool as fuck and either one or a combination of the following: one of a kind, meaningful as fuck, and/ or super expensive - most likely fashion, jewelry, something music related, or super cool stuff from his travels

Romantic relationships and preferences : Pisces Venus, Aquarius Mars, Aquarius Juno, Aries Eros

Lmao even MORE Aquarius and Aries energy

Ok into the main meat - these four placements are particularly interesting combo: 2 fixed air (Aqua), 1 mutable water (Pisces) and 1 Cardinal Fire (Aries)

Aqua Juno - generally hints at a pretty unconventional relationship and this can come in manyyyyy forms for the very unique and varied Aquarians (partnership without legal marriage, mixed race/culture couple, could even mean choosing a bachelor lifestyle over any normal type of relationship, etc.) - given that Changkyun seems quite close with his parents and his interest in kids I’d say he’s unlikely to choose the bachelor route.

For a lot of Aquarians unconventional can also come in the form of a very stimulating partner, they enjoy learning and expanding their minds and experiences which is why they tend to run towards challenges that others would run from. I think someone who shares similar passions but varied skills and/or background would fulfil that for him. Aquarius, Pisces and Aries like to be stimulated A LOT.

Pisces in Venus is a tricky placement - can be pretty hot and cold, lots of mixed signals, you should be ready to be stood up or flaked on atleast once in the beginning🙄) BUT if you actually manage to earn their trust and dedication they make very caring partners.

Pisces in Venus is art gallery and museum dates, binge watching documentaries especially murder mystery, and spending most of the summer near the closest body of water.

Aries Eros fantasizes about being in a partnership that others look at as a power couple but they’ll never admit it - they dream of a partner who is in awe of them and their accomplishments but has their own big goals and successes to cater to as well. They like people they can grow with as individuals and as a couple. Push and pull works really well with Aries (and the other two fire signs too honestly) they like the cat and mouse thing and they like to have time to miss & yearn for their partner especially the men - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Love languages in order from most to least: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gift giving

Aries is a strong sign and they want and need a real partner who respects and supports their independence and boss energy but also can nurture their softer more vulnerable side and be the strong one for them when they need it

***** 18+ Preferences ****

Ooof this should honestly come as a surprise to NO ONE but damn placements do NOT lie...Im Changkyun is one freaky ass boy

I mean ARIES EROS???? Let me spell that out for y’all: fucks you like he absolutely fucking hates you or ties you up like a present and edges you for hours till you’re crying

LOVES, let me repeat LOVES jealousy sex - whether it’s you being jealous of all the screaming thirsting fans he has or him being jealous of guys getting too close too you for his comfort - he is allllllllll about taking that energy directly into the bedroom ASAP (or a bathroom or even closet if it locks 🤐)

Could and WOULD makeout for hours on end - especially if he’s been drinking

The more you switch it up the more excited he is - with all them Aquarius placements it should be pretttyyyyyy often

Different positions, lingerie, role play - any and all of it excite him

With a partner he actually trusts and has feelings for I can see him being extremely open minded to trying things (though obviously EVERYONE has limits and boundaries)

Toys, blindfolds, handcuffs, whip cream, hot wax, spanking - all a STRONG yes

Get the strong feeling he has strong preference to use his mouth often - lots of kissing (passionate, needy, messy - sometimes more aggressive) , likes to give and receive hickeys, wants to kiss all over his partner’s body and LOVES oral both receiving and giving (and I get the feeling he’s TOO good at that 👀)

More willing to let his partner take control than you might think - he’s not a switch but he just doesn’t think you initiating or “being in control” makes him any less dominant. In fact it’s probably the opposite; you showing your desire to that point actually makes him feel MORE dominant and masculine

Literally could find anyone and everyone beautiful - is more attracted to people’s minds, spirit and energy than physical looks (BIG Pisces and Aquarian thing)

Gets turned on every single time he sees you in the crowd at one of his shows - makes him feel like you are the only two people in the world (drives his Aries Eros INSANE - gets a kick out of the slight power play of being on stage in front of so many people, as well as the secrecy and raw passionate energy of it all)

Tattoos, piercings, colorful wigs, or even just interesting jewelry paired with the right lingerie or outfit will have him 🤯- think short black see-through lace robe with nothing on underneath except a sparkling body chain dripping from your body....yep he’ll eat you like a main dish in .00000000023 seconds

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[p0tat0-g0ddess]

I mean idk what there is to say about makeup culture that hasn’t already been said but like. it’s so toxic. the entire movement is built on convincing women that they’re not good enough and that they need to buy these products to fix themselves for?? For men???? For employment???? Women are expected to own these “everyday” products for making themselves look presentable just to go to work or the grocery store??? To go to a beach or a mall and enjoy themselves???? Like if you WANT to wear makeup & you think it’s fun and cool then props to you but the pressure on women to wear and be good at these things is so much.

I know a lady who’s a Mary Kay saleswoman, I met her through that, I’ve bought makeup from her (lipsticks because I like colors), and I like her, but I can never go to her little sales events again because it would be ONE THING if the people trying to sell you stuff would just try to sell you stuff because it’s FUN, but the amount of subtle guilt tripping and manipulation I saw at the events I went to is just. It made me sick because the other attendees were just eating it up.

Yeah, obviously I need this specific kind of foundation to put on my knees for when I go outside wearing shorts, can’t let anyone know my skin has FLAWS! Obviously I need this under-eye cream so I don’t get wrinkles, what if people know that I AGE! Only $299 for this set of brushes to blend this makeup into my skin so nobody knows I’m wearing it and it looks like I’m just a perfect angel except I AM wearing it and shelling out hundreds of $ to maintain my supply so that nobody realizes I’m a human being??? Sign me up!!

It’s so depressing because these women have been conditioned to think this all their lives and it’s not even weird to them anymore. Well, yeah obviously I have to spend a ton of money on makeup products to earn people’s approval. That’s just what you do. Im not trying to make this a women vs men thing, this is a women vs society thing. and I realize in the grand scheme of things it’s not a hugely important thing, but it’s just been on my mind and I hate it.

[granizadibiribibs]

AWTWB MCU Headcanons

my lovely friend @amirprinceofthememe made me watch a good amount of the marvel movies so naturally i associated everything with baz and simon so here’s this thought dump

- Simon dresses up as Thor and Baz as Loki, obviously.

- The cape helps because he doesn’t have to cramp up his wings as much.

“Who are you dressing up as, Snow?”

“I was thinking maybe Thor.”

“That’s nice.”

“And then you could be Jane.”

“Didn’t Jane dump Thor though?”

“That’s the point.”

“I don’t like it when you make points.”

“Im joking. You should go as Loki.”

“Why should i even dress up? I barely like these movies.”

“Because you’re basically the same person! You even dress the same!”

“Because I like to look presentable, Snow? Don’t hold that against me.”

*At the event*

“I thought you weren’t gonna dress up Baz.”

“I didn’t.”

“So you’re not dressed like Loki when he goes to Earth during Thor: Ragnarok?”

“No?”

“So you were just gonna wear a fully black suit to a con?”

“Why are you questioning me Snow?”

“No reason at all, im just curious about your styling choices today.”

- And he dressed up as loki solely because he looks slightly like him (has dark long hair).

- Then simon buys him a helmet at some stand and he’s fully cosplaying loki!

“Isn’t this a bit weird tho? That you’e Loki and I’m Thor, they’re siblings.”

“Loki’s adopted, Snow.”

“Shouldn’t I be Loki then?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

“Cause I resemble him more.”

“Ha! So you do think you look like Tom!”

“That’s not what i meant Snow.”

“What do you mean then?”

“Well, for starters we’re both monsters.” (i don’t like referring to him this way)

“Not this again.”

“And our fathers hate us and both of us have lost our mothers.”

“I can’t believe you’re being angsty at a superheroe con.”

“There’s no such thing as an inaproppiate time to be angsty Snow. And I am dressed as Loki, who’s possibly the most angsty character in the entire franchise so I would call it being in character.”

- They can't even walk 6 steps without some group asking for photos cause Baz looks so much like Loki. He’s the guy every person takes a picture with cause his costume is just that good. (Even though he barely tried.) (And he did try despite what he says.)

- penny would be scarlet witch

this one’s just obvious

- shep would be peter parker:

"hi, im spiderman! Hey! We're in space? Awesome! *Makes a pop culture reference*"

[urmomsstuntdouble]

congrats on 100! is it possible for you to write some headcanons for china?

of course! and ty! also, quick shoutout to @mysticalmusicwhispers for some of the inspiration for this :)

He is a firm believer in the concept of chaotic time (i will be discussing various interpretations of time as they are described in The Fourth Turning by Neil Howe and William Strauss, as their books about American generations live rent free in my brain), which is defined as “history having no path. Events follow one another randomly, and any effort to impute meaning to their whirligig succession is hopeless.” It’s sort of the original way that people percieved time, and this interpretation of time can be found in a lot of indigenous cultures, as well as in popular nihilism. I think part of why Yao thinks this is because of all the changes in political leadership he’s had throughout his life, which prevent him from being able to apply an overall narrative to the universe. This can make some things like diplomacy a little difficult for him, as many of the other world powers are proponents of linear time- The idea of “time as a unique (and usually progressing) story with an absolute beginning and an absolute end.” 

That’s not to say that Yao is terrible at diplomacy- He’s actually very good at it, and can talk people into buying just about anything from him. 

He has an entire house that’s just filled with his old stuff. Clothes, pottery, paintings, manuscripts, trinkets, et cetera. It’s not very organized, though, and some things can never be moved because if somebody were to touch them, the objects might get damaged. 

His weapon of choice is a gùn staff, when it comes to gun-less fighting. I think he likes to bop people on the head with it when they’re being annoying. 

This is sort of based on some ancient chinese military history that i don’t fully recall so I’m not sure what to type into google but. very deadly with the gùn. 

On that note, he’s very well practiced in both Northern and Southern style Shaolin kung fu, but you probably wouldn’t know that unless you’d been around him for a while. He gives me massive “old person doing tai chi in the park” vibes. Where kung fu is concerned, I think his favorite animal thingy would be the crane? I feel like he’d really like a lot of crane forms even though he’s a bit short for it. (also im very sorry if im getting this wrong or talking about it in the wrong way! i pracitce shaolin kung fu, although i haven’t been able to really engage with it during the pandemic, so my memory might not be 10/10)

His spice tolerance?? through the roof. The things this man eats could kill a human

To me, Yao feels like one of the most human characters in hetalia, because he’s the oldest. Part of this is just because he’s the oldest, so he’s been through the most stuff- While other prominent characters are depicted as being kind of messy young adults who haven’t figured everything out yet, Yao has a calmness about him due to his age. Don’t get me wrong he’s still a bit messy, but he’s messy by choice?? like. from @peonycats latest china drawing. that was voluntary. But at the same time, I think he could fit the wise old mentor trope if he had the patience to be a mentor. He’s lived through so much that he has experience with pretty much everything one could encounter. This is also a double edged sword, because it can make him a bit impatient, especially with things he feels he’s already seen and done before. Sometimes he’s just over it, ya know? (side note i feel like that’s smth he’d be able to bond with India over- being done with all these modern kids who want to do stuff that he’s just endlessly bored by.)

He has a love-hate relationship with C-dramas. On the one hand, they’re interesting stories and imbue nostalgia. On the other hand, they can be super historically inaccurate at times- One complaint I’ve heard is that the hairstyles are often inaccurate for the sake of making the actors look really pretty. 

short king

His government is often wary and not trusting of him, because they see him as being a sort of relic from previous times. Like a potential threat to their sovereignty? idk, just. mutual distrust. 

idk where this came from but I’ve seen the hc that one time the italy brothers were like yo you knew our grandpa right? we just wanna talk- and then china goes yah we used to fuck and i think that’s so funny

He nibbles at his food, eating sort of like a bird, and does the same with water. 

Despite being kind of thin himself, will absolutely pester the shit out of his kids (even if theyre on bad terms) for not eating enough. in the same breath he’ll also berate them for eating unhealthily, and take huge offense if they won’t eat his food. like even if they’re just not hungry that time yao will develop a grudge and he’ll make sure you remember that you didn’t want to eat his food that one time. how rude of you >:(

i probably have more thoughts but theyre either too jumbled/not well worded in my brain or not present at the moment. i hope you enjoyed these!

writing requests

[raitrolling]

some 12th perigee gifts which is early but i drafted this last night and im too impatient to save posting this till christmas LMAO -

nancor bought lonnen a large bouquet of flowers which he dried and preserved so that they can potentially last forever, and also a nice block of peruvian dark chocolate 

dismas bought aislin some manga that he figured out she was interested in by stalking her twitter, and bought maidel a couple new dating sim games :)

eichio put together some little gift boxes full of 12th perigee-themed candies and chocolate to give to viltau and the other full-time employees at the mansion, apparently forgetting gerrel’s aversion to overly sugary stuff. oops!

callan bought a two pop culture-themed cookbooks for gerrel, with the caveat that if he didn’t understand any of the references then they have to watch the movie or tv series together. he also maybe forgot to buy something for maidel because he was too busy trying to think of Another Perfect Present for his moirail, so she just gets some random cheap kris kringle shit from a dollar store rip. and izu gets signed photos of callan so that he knows who the real star is B)

ashe once again spent all of the holiday season panicking over what to buy cheran because What If He Buys Something Cheran Hates Because Hes Not Very Good At This Whole Boyfriend Thing and probably went overboard with buying gifts for him, oops. hopefully cheran doesn’t feel too overwhelmed with the combination of new hardcover books, some art supplies for his anatomical drawings, a nice new mug with some fancy tea, and a few extra cute cat-themed goodies that ashe couldn’t not buy. he also bought his employees some little 12th perigees stockings filled with chocolates as a little gift, which helios and rotavh probably didn’t want lets be real here lMAO

mikiel bought lyvere some professional-grade cooking utensils that he happened to be lacking. what do you mean you’re lacking this set of knives with highly-specific purposes that are vital to this one cuisine you mentioned wanting to try cooking once?? 

lucy put together a notebook full of recipes for anirus and painted the cover a nice seascape for some extra personal flair, and wrapped it up in a scarf made by the local tailor so they have something extra to wear whenever they’re out sailing in the middle of winter. he also made and painted a wooden box for thrixe so he has something nice to put his own art supplies in

viltau put together an entire fucking 12th perigee-themed escape room for kitaer to solve, which may or may not have involved a little bit of friendly kidnapping to actually get his kismesis into the room to begin with LMAO his employees also got paid time off over the 12th perigee-new sweeps eve break and he booked them activities like restaurant outings and movie tickets and whatnot to force them to actually take time off. youre not getting out of it that easily eichio and gerrel!!

glasya made candies for all their friends obviously, and themed both the candy and their packaging to suit each person’s tastes. ullane got some medical-themed candies in test tubes, thrixe got pink (patrick) starfish candy in this honestly cursed mug, and mikail got some candy cigarettes in appropriate packaging and some sea creature themed candies in a fish-shaped ceramic box. they genuinely considered putting mikail’s gift in a foxy grandpa hat so everyone thank god for giving them just enough common sense to think that’s not a good idea

vallis acquired some nice specimens for epsilo to study, namely a couple sea urchins that are native to vernrot and also happen to be good pets. he also got him some miscellaneous squid-themed paraphernalia because of course he did

[misterbitches]

I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

[cottage-babe]

Burning Scars part VIII

Previous | Chapter 8 | Next

Masterlist

Awww im watching LOK and why do people hate it so much?? I get that its different than ATLA but on it’s own its pretty good. anyways they just talked abt the first avatar and hmm, i didn’t really think abt who the first would be

Summary: Y/n, a werewolf from a hidden village, comes across Zuko and Iroh after being exiled. How has fate intertwined the wolf into the avatar’s destiny?

*****This chapter takes place on Season 2, Episode 14*****

___

It's been a week since they'd made it to the beloved city of Ba Sing Se. 

It was rough at first; they learned about the sections of the city and had to find a home in the Lower Ring. Although Zuko hated the city, Y/n found it quite beautiful. Of course, some parts of it weren't flattering, there were dirty animals around and some of their neighbors weren't the nicest, but there was something mystical about it. 

Maybe it's because it's the first city she'd been in or the fact that the culture was so different, but she couldn't find it in herself to hate anything in Ba Sing Se. The crowded streets just seemed cozier and full of life; their run-down home above a shop just had personality! The wolf couldn't help but love even the worst parts. 

The only thing that couldn't ease itself out of Y/n's mind was the feeling of being watched. It sent shivers down her spine whenever she was out in public and she thinks she knows why they're staring. 

It's the scar on her leg, of course. 

She stopped covering it up the day they came to the city. Something about having to hide it for their entire time of residence just seemed so inauthentic. If she was going to be here for a while, then Y/n was going to be her truest self, scars and all. 

They were walking through the marketplace, buying the last remaining essentials that they needed for their new place. Iroh had wandered off somewhere when his eyes set on a furniture store, but Zuko, not wanting to accept the fact that they were actually living there, just stormed off angrily in the opposite direction. Y/n followed the teen to make sure he didn't do something he’d regret. 

“You know,” the wolf began, “this city isn’t that bad when you stop judging everything about it.”

He glared at her harshly. “I’m not judging it.” Then, Iroh appeared next to him, the pot of orange flowers he was eyeing in his hands. The boy’s stare somehow got meaner as he looked at the bright flowers. “This city is a prison.”

Y/n rolled her eyes and moved to stand in between her two friends, smelling the ends of the flowers and letting the aroma surround her. There was hardly any nature here, another thing that she had to look past, so seeing any sign of greenery was welcoming. 

“They’re so pretty!” Y/n smiled at Iroh. 

“I know,” the uncle smiled back at her, “they were a little expensive, but its fine because I found us new jobs, and we start this afternoon!”

Zuko and Y/n blinked at him in surprise. Neither teens had ever had a job before, much less one that they were thrown into without a warning. So they all traveled back to their apartment and left the things that they had bought that morning. The time to go to their new ‘jobs’ was approaching, so they made themselves presentable and set off. 

Iroh had, of course, gotten them a job at a small tea shop. When they entered, it was nearly empty, except for the man that introduced himself as their boss. 

The people in Ba Sing Se probably only drink their tea in the mornings! That must be why it’s so empty!

It turns out she was wrong. 

After doing their introductions, the owner, whose name turned out to be Pao, left to the back room so he could find a string to extend the back of Iroh’s apron. He left them three cups of tea while they waited. 

Y/n took a sip from her steaming cup, happy to be offered some tea that’s actually warm. Unfortunately, just as it had happened before, the tea was spit out onto the floor. 

“Ugh!” She exclaimed. “What’s wrong with all of the tea in this city!”

Iroh took a sip, but, with way more control than her, swallowed it quickly. He looked at his cup disgustingly. “This tea is nothing more than hot leaf juice!”

Zuko deadpanned and looked between the two, “Uncle, that’s what all tea is.”

Suddenly, right there in the moment, a long shiver reached Y/n’s spine and spread throughout her body. And it definitely wasn’t the tea. The werewolf tugged on Zuko’s sleeve.

“Someone’s watching us.” She whispered and cast her eyes around. 

She had been feeling this, how could she be so stupid? She misjudged it and thought the attention was on her leg, but now? They were in a completely empty shop and she could hear Pao digging through boxes in the other room. Someone is looking at them from the outside. 

The boy looked around cautiously as well. “From where?” 

“I don’t know.”

Iroh was talking while they whispered, something about needing to make some major changes in this shop. He threw the tea pot out a window and the feeling drained from the wolf. Y/n sighed in relief.

“They stopped, maybe it was just someone passing.”

Zuko hummed, but still looked at her curiously. 

Pao came back with the string and helped Iroh tie his apron on. Once all three of them were in their attire, the man trained them on their new job; waiters and waitresses. They learned the basics of their job; collect orders, give customers their cups, then collect the cups. It was a lot simpler than she thought it would be. They barely had any customers, but the few that did come sat quietly and didn’t really disturb them. 

Then, their shifts ended and they turned in their aprons. When they left the shop, the sun had already set and the sky was dark.

The citizens had lit lanterns to glow on the street. It was quite pretty to see the contrasts; it almost reminded her of the rebellious times with her siblings. Y/n pushed that thought out of her head, though. 

The entire walk back home was filled with Iroh’s complaints on the tea. He started talking about how starting tomorrow, he was going to tell Pao that he was going to make the tea. He thought that Pao’s tea was lacking and Iroh was going to fix that. Zuko let out a few sarcastic comments here and there, but Y/n was quiet. She was focused on the roof tops, the dark alleys; any place where someone could be hiding. Just in case, of course.

Then, they made it home. The apartment was empty and Iroh lit candles with matches so they could see. He probably would’ve used his bending, but Zuko had warned him many times against using it. The boy was so paranoid. 

As soon as Y/n entered though, she smelled something off. 

She never mentioned this to the boys (in fear that it would freak them out), but the wolf had memorized their scents. Each had a distinct smell and it had grown very mixed and strong throughout their week of living here. It was another werewolf thing that transferred to her human skin. 

But what she was smelling now definitely wasn’t one of them. 

It smelled strangely familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. The scent was so minute and faint that it eventually blended away into the other smells. 

Well, that’s weird.

So they all settled down to relax, tired from the day’s work. Y/n laid on the bed by the windows and Iroh went straight for the teapot.

“Would you both like a cup of tea?” 

“We’ve been working in a tea shop all day!” Zuko groaned out. “I’m sick of tea!” 

Y/n laughed at his antics and watched as the boy sat at the foot of the bed. This wasn’t her bed; the boys decided that the one room in the apartment should belong to the only girl. She wasn’t totally against getting her own privacy, but she still felt incredibly spoiled. 

Zuko lifted her feet and moved back against the wall, placing her legs in his lap. The werewolf blushed at his intimate touches, but just looked off at Iroh and stated that she would like a cup, just to try and ignore her feelings. Y/n had decided before that she would never fall for Zuko, ever. 

“Sick of tea? That’s like being sick of breathing!” Iroh looked over at the two and smiled softly before searching through the cabinets. “Have you seen the spark rocks to heat up the water?” 

Y/n shook her head. “No. Do you want me to go ask the neighbors for some?”

She almost began to stand up, but the old man quickly declined her offer. 

“No, no. You stay there.” He smiled, “I’ll go ask.”

Iroh walked out the front door, leaving Y/n and Zuko alone. They were silent for a moment before, surprisingly, the boy broke it.

“So,” he began. “What was up with earlier?”

She knew what he was talking about; how she could sense that someone was watching them. She didn’t really have much of an answer, so she tried to explain it the best she could. 

“I don’t know... it’s just a feeling I get sometimes. Most of the time it’s just random people looking for no reason, so I ignore it. But it felt a little different today; it was weird.”

Zuko nodded and started playing with the fabric of her socks. The light touches tickled her slightly. 

“Can you always feel it? When someone’s looking at you, I mean.”

“Well yeah,” she spoke. “But it’s feels different when I’m in danger or when it’s about nothing. I don’t know how to describe it; it’s just a werewolf thing.” 

Y/n covered her eyes with her arm, hoping to cover her warm face slightly. The pink in her cheeks never seemed to disappear when he sat next to her. 

His fingers stopped moving and she was so so thankful for that. The poor girl didn’t know how much she could take. 

“And now?” Zuko whispered, “What does it feel like now?”

Y/n removed the arm from her face and met his auburn eyes, the iris’s staring deep into her.

Spirits, how was she supposed to describe this feeling? 

Everything about Y/n, her hearing, her smelling, her brain, it was all muddle with him. Was this danger she felt? Or something else? Her senses didn’t seem to work; the scent of him just overcame ever-.

“I borrowed from our neighbors!” Iroh happily spoke as he waltzed into the room. “Such kind people!”

Y/n cleared her throat and sat up, removing her feet from the boy’s lap. She almost shook her head to wipe the fogginess from her brain. Iroh looked between the two teens, wondering if he should say something, but instead turned toward the wood under the teapot and used the rocks to light it. 

Y/n and Zuko didn’t talk much more that night.

During the next few days, they set out to work in the early afternoon and made it back by nightfall, when the shop closed. Iroh had taken over the tea making; something Pao had fought against until he tasted the uncle’s delicious cup of tea. Slowly, more and more people started to fill up the tables, just waiting for the notorious cup. Y/n didn’t mind. It only meant that she’d see more faces and meet all kinds of people (she also got a lot of tip money, but that’s beside the point). Zuko, on the other hand, only saw it as more work. 

“This is the best tea in the city!” One customer stated as he sipped Iroh’s tea.

Iroh smiled and held the pot up. “The secret ingredient...” He paused to waft the scent up into the air with his palm. “...is love.”

The uncle walked back to the main tea table where Pao was standing. Y/n bumped arms with Zuko, who had to quickly try and grasp the cups in his hands tightly so they wouldn’t fall.

“What’s with the face?” The werewolf smiled at him. “You know your Uncle is just having fun.”

The grimace from hearing Iroh’s ‘secret ingredient’ was still engraved on his face. “I know, but he’s having too much fun.”

The girl rolled her eyes. “You’re such a-”

The front doors of the tea shop burst open. Zuko instinctively dropped the porcelain cups and jumped in front of Y/n.

Standing in the doorway, Jet glared at Zuko menacingly. 

“I’m tired of waiting! These two men are firebenders!” Then, Jet pointed at Y/n. “And she’s a werewolf!”

The lunatic boy unsheathed his two swords, right in the middle of the tea shop. Y/n’s eyes widened and she shared a look with her fellow waiters. How does he know? 

Jet took a step closer to the trio. “I know what you are! I saw the old man heating his tea!”

“He works in a tea shop,” A random customer muttered bleakly. 

“And I heard her say what she was one night in their apartment!”

Y/n gasped; so that’s why nothing seemed right. The smell, someone watching them; it all must’ve been Jet. 

“Did you say you’re stalking her?” Two customers stood from their seats, both having a sword attached to their belts. They must be guards of some sort. “Drop your swords boy, nice and easy.”

However, Jet didn’t bother listening to them. “You'll have to defend yourself. Then everyone will know. Go ahead, show them what you can do.”

“You want a show? I’ll give you a show.” Zuko growled. 

Y/n reached out to stop him, to tell him to let the police handle it, but the boy already walked toward one of the standing customers. Zuko grabbed their swords and clashed them against each other, signalling the start of the battle. 

The werewolf ran toward Iroh and clung to his arm, scared of what was going to happen next. She shouldn’t interfere; she could get badly hurt from their swords and she shouldn’t reveal her identity. The safest bet would be to watch from afar and hope that Zuko made it out of this okay. 

Zuko had kicked a table at Jet, but he sliced it in half and pushed it to the side. He charges at Zuko, who dodges the attack by jumping onto a nearby table.

Y/n sees a family near the side and runs over to grasp onto the mother’s hand. The woman looks at her in fear before relaxing. The werewolf slowly guides her and her children around the battle between the boys; using her instincts to guess their next moves. Eventually, they all make it outside and the mom lets out a shaky breath.

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” The mother says in relief, her children clinging to her legs in fear. 

“Your welcome, just try to get away before-”

She was interrupted by the thing she tried to mention; both boys jumping through the tea shop doors and out into the open street.

The family ran away to safety as Y/n turned to see what was happening. Iroh and the rest of the customers joined her to watch the outcome of the fight.

“Please, you’re confused! You don’t know what you’re doing!” Zuko’s Uncle shouted in an attempt to de-escalate the situation. 

Instead, they just kept fighting. 

They swung their swords at each other, never quite hitting, only getting close enough to be parried. The closest Zuko got to Jet was when he swung at his head, only for Jet to bend backward, the tip of the sword inches from his face. Jet jumped backward to a platform and stood on top of it. 

“See that?” Jet yelled out to the audience that had formed. “The Fire Nation is trying to silence me! But that’ll never happen.” 

Jet jumped back into the fight and they repeated a lot of what they were doing before. It was odd to Y/n, but it almost seemed like Zuko was... holding back? Jet’s techniques were good, but definitely not the best, so there’s no way Zuko could lose. Maybe he was just waiting until the crazy boy gave up.

Something that also stood out was the taboo around the Fire Nation. All of this was because her two friends were Firebenders? Why? After all of this cools down, she was definitely going to get some answers. 

Iroh grabbed onto Y/n’s shoulder and gently steered her to the right. She looked to see why and saw two men with hats parting the group. They both were decked out in green and had a circle across their chest. 

“Drop your weapons.” One stated authoritatively. They must’ve been some high-ranking police men. 

Zuko and Jet stepped away from each other and lowered their swords. Still, however, Jet didn’t settle down. 

“Arrest them!” He yelled. “Those two are Firebenders and she’s a Werewolf!”

Okay, this is getting a little annoying...

What’s so wrong with werewolves, anyway? These people don’t even think they’re real. 

Y/n was pouting, she knows she was. Iroh looked at her with an amused look before returning to the scene.  

“This boy is confused!” Iroh explained to the police. “We’re just simple refugees!” 

He was playing a pretty convincing part, so Y/n decided to join in. 

“Yeah, and he watched me while I was in the privacy of my own home!” 

“This young man wrecked my tea shop, and assaulted my employees!” Pao defended from behind them. 

One of the customers from before spoke out as well. “It's true, sir. We saw the whole thing. This crazy kid attacked the finest tea maker in the city.”

While Iroh blushed and thanked the man, the two police men walked up to Jet and arrested him. The boy struggled at first, but they put him in handcuffs to still his movements. They took him away and the crowd slowly dispersed. 

There were so many people walking around that Y/n didn’t see Zuko at first. She left go of Iroh to pushed past the group toward the spot he was before, but came up empty handed. Then she looked off to the side and saw him as he returned his two swords to the customers that he took it from. 

“Zu- err, Lee!”

Zuko turned around confused, but let out a small ‘oof’ as Y/n jumped at him and wrapped him in a tight hug. He couldn’t even process what was happening before she mumbling into his chest. Y/n didn’t even fully understand what she was saying; only snippets of how worried she was peeked through.

Her mind was jumbled again, just as it had been a couple nights ago. After Jet had gotten arrested, the reality of it all set into her. Jet had actually followed them for who knows how long, listening to every conversation and watching every movement they took. Iroh and Zuko were in real trouble for a moment; she didn’t know why Fire Benders were so bad, but it was enough to get arrested for. And then her... what if she had been alone? Would Jet have ambushed her? Would she have defended herself? What about Iroh; would he? Would Zuko, if there was no weapons around?

Everything was so complicated, so overwhelming, that she didn’t even know that she was crying. It wasn’t until Zuko wrapped her arms around her that she became aware of her surrounding and felt the wetness on her face.

And so they just stood for a moment, wrapped up in each other’s arms as the girl’s sobs rang out into the night.

___

Previous | Chapter 8 | Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @bucky-blogs @hopefuloperaangelnerd @simplyfandomish @oddlypointlessescapes @lozzybowe @woohoney @whalerus @cece-lives-here @bwndito @kiaoizz @lrmilikepie

[citialiin]

ZIGGY ✰ STARDUST

i jacked this from @cardinalrot​. thank you dad. tagging: @gothsic​ ; @blossomingbeelzebug​ ; @betelguide​ ; @thatcertainnight​ ; @prophesyed​ ; you, specifically, reading this.

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

FULL NAME.     [ redacted ] * NICKNAME.     ziggy  GENDER.     agender (he/him or they/them) / typically presents as a “man” for simplicity’s sake and also because he doesn’t care enough to think about it for more than 4 seconds HEIGHT.     5′10″ AGE.     26 (earth years) ZODIAC.     ??? (he wasn’t born under our stars ... so .......) SPOKEN LANGUAGES.     any/all (he doesn’t really know them, though, he uses an internal translator)

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

HAIR COLOR.     bright red, seemingly unnatural -- but it’s natural EYE COLOR.     left pale blue, right black SKIN TONE.     very, very, very pale BODY TYPE.     skinny. very skinny/slender/svelte.  willowy and tall and bony.  good for looking waifish on magazine covers but bad for lifting even vaguely heavy objects. VOICE.     posh, nasally, low, the slightest bit condescending.  speaks with an english accent despite not being english, let alone human.  drawls his vowels and enunciates his letters.  his voice is strangely clear and bright when he sings, unlike his somewhat unpleasant speaking tone, and he tends to sing in higher pitches than his speaking voice. DOMINANT HAND.     ambidextrous -- but he can only play the guitar left handed POSTURE.     very straight and proper, holds his head high and his shoulders square.  uncertain if it’s height alone or if he really is looking down upon you.   SCARS.     small incision in the back of his neck where the translator was placed. barely there and usually covered by a collar or his hair, anyways. TATTOOS.      none BIRTHMARKS.     a large yellow disc on his forehead, rimmed with a slightly darker yellow/bronze with the slightest hint of a chromatic shift affect due to reflecting/light catching pigment in skin cells.  this isn’t unique to him, however, as every member of his race has it. has the tiniest hint of a freckle above his lip, on the left side, and he hates it and wishes he could nuke it off his face.  both of these are usually covered, anyways. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).     the circular mark, his unusual eyes, his sharp features, his bright hair. everything about him is weird and outlandish and strange, but it helps him maintain a striking, marketable image.  

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

PLACE OF BIRTH.     far away.  HOMETOWN.    faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away. SIBLINGS.    [ grabs the steering wheel and veers straight into worldbuilding headcanon territory ] the society he comes from is no longer sexually dimorphic and typically doesn’t reproduce the natural way.  having evolved far beyond such icky things, they use genetic samples from large swaths of the population to make consistent batches of new individuals -- the genetic samples are screened for defects and aberrations and sort of tossed together into a genome salad, and out comes however many individuals they need to fill in gaps in the population.  there’s a lot of consistency in his species due to this: everyone has reddish hair, everyone has heterochromia, everyone is about the same height, etc.  so technically, he’s related to everyone in his “batch.” PARENTS.   he wouldn’t ever know -- a lot of people, probably

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

OCCUPATION.    rockstar -- cultural icon -- celebrity -- musician -- singer -- model -- jerk CURRENT RESIDENCE.    london, LA, NYC, but he’s constantly moving and tours quite often CLOSE FRIENDS.    few and far in between -- he’s friends with his drummer who is named priscilla but usually goes by the stage name WEIRD, as well as siddharth, his bassist, who goes by sid in his personal life but GILLY on stage.  they were the first two humans to encounter him and taught him everything he knows, from how to tie his shoes (aliens wear boots, and you should know this) to the C major scale -- because they are among the few humans who know his secret, he views them as his closest and dearest friends.  his stardom isolates him from them, just a little -- he likes the spotlight but they don’t mind just being “the drummer” and “the bassist.”  they don’t quite have the star power that he does.  his manager  -- tama ahinariki, some guy from new zealand who seemed to bumble his way into becoming in charge of one of the most successful musicians of the decade -- also knows he’s an alien, but they tend to be more business partners than close friends.  tama is more interested in the money side of things whereas priscilla and sid are only interested in the music.  ziggy has stock in the music, money, and his personal brand.  

via rp, he’s made some friends with other characters! a few. very few.  RELATIONSHIP STATUS.    single -- he intends to stay that way.  he gets all the action he could ever need from his legion of devoted fans and groupies.  even in situations where he’s romantically involved and emotionally invested, he would never consider himself exclusive or monogamous.   a lot of tabloids make rumors that he’s involved with cardinal copia, fellow rock icon, but he tends to be sneaky at hiding any time they spent together.  it’s hard to keep things private when you’re both massively popular public figures, though. he goes out of his way to be sure no one knows about his predilection for spending time with thomas, because the last thing an awkward alien in disguise needs is a lot of public attention because people think you’re dating a celebrity (who they don’t know is also an alien). he hangs around annie a lot, too, but this is extra extra under wraps, because annie has a stalker named jonathan who may or may not go apeshit and try to tear his head off or something if he finds out.   FINANCIAL STATUS.    filthy rich. should be guillotined.   DRIVER’S LICENSE.    doesn’t have one. he has some paperwork, somewhere, with a “real” name and all that, but he has no idea where it is and lets his manager deal with that stuff. CRIMINAL RECORD.    none ! clean slate.  that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do illegal things, though.  he just doesn’t get caught.   VICES.    smoking, drinking, la cocaina, sex, impulsive spendng, rockstar stuff.  

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.   bisexual. PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE.     submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  | top |  bottom | verse. this doesn’t really come up in rp because i dont write nsfw. the way i view it is that he’s lazy and would rather you take care of him than the other way around LIBIDO.    pretty high, but it’s difficult for him to have as much sex as he might prefer because, uh, he has, uh, alien..............parts...........and stuff ..... like ....... some parts down there look different ....... so he’s stuck having sex with usually in the dark, under sheets, and he has to zip his pants up really quick afterwards. maybe it’s a little bit hilarious and i just think it’s funny idk LOVE LANGUAGE.    selflessness (which is big, for him, king of all douchebags and lord selfish dickhead the third), rambling to you about his day, physical affection, gifts, letting you see him without make up, opening up to you about his life before earth.  he might play you music, sing to you or write you songs if he’s feeling particularly sappy.  this is stuff reserved for people that he finds himself incredibly romantically/emotionally attached to, though, not the people he has one night stands with.  and he almost never forms any sort of lasting attachment to the people he sleeps with casually. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.    he tends to fall for people who challenge him in some way, who aren’t easily beguiled by his status and physical looks, but who aren’t outright mean to him.  that being said, he is very vain, and he loves being showered in compliments, praise or attention.  he matches well with people who can put up with his antics and moodiness and odd behavior.  he likes the idea of being someone’s muse or someone’s idol, so he finds himself drawn to other creative types.  he has the most intimate/special connections with other nonhuman beings, especially other aliens, cuz he feels like they Get him and he wouldn’t be really giving himself in his fullest form if he had to still play pretend that he was a human being.  for whatever reason he goes apeshit for goth guys/dudes with black hair who wear a lot of black.  he really doesn’t like people who are too much like him, because HE’S HIM, and you’re YOU, and he really wants it to stay that way.  GET OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.   there’s a whole album about him .......... theres a song called “ziggy stardust” .......  HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.    singing, music, writing -- he lives for that shid.  he likes art in all forms, so he reads, watches movies, looks at paintings -- he has a lot of human culture to catch up on, and he loves all of it, from any time period and any culture.  he also likes buying things, shopping, looking nice, gossip.  he tends to be a party animal (party alien?) and often indulges in more hedonistic fun. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED.    his brain is not structured like a human brain. also, head empty.  no thoughts. FEARS.    being perceived as ugly or untalented, being outed as an alien, being rejected for being an alien, becoming a nobody, losing his social status, becoming a conformist, becoming “outdated” or “uncool” SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.    somehow sky high and on the floor at the same time. he usually thinks he can do anything and he’s pretty perfect, but that may just be from a solid few years of repeating that to himself and empty praise given by people who are just crazy obsessed with him -- he built his confidence level on a very shaky foundation, so it’s easy to start making him doubt himself and panic if you know what to criticize him on VULNERABILITIES.    a lot of things, and im sick of typing

* pay me 100000 USD to unlock my LEVEL 20 ZIGGY STARDUST LORE pack now with NAMING/TITLE INFORMATION, HOME PLANET CLIMATE/WEATHER PATTERNS and PAST OCCUPATION/EDUCATION information.  includes a piece of gum i found on the floor.

[lexosaurus]

Do you ever feel lonely being asexual? I feel like none of my friends understand what it's like and it's so isolating and terrifying and I feel do broken. Have you ever felt this way? How do you handle it? Sorry if this is too personal.

Hey anon! I hope you’re okay! I also hope you’re ready for a long post because that’s what this turned out to be!

Firstly, you are NOT alone. I think every ace feels this way at somepoint or another. It’s super common, especially since there really aren’t many out-aces, there’s virtually no actually helpful resources out there for aces, and most people legit have never heard of asexuality or believe it to be something that can be cured either through sexual acts or medication. The fact of the matter is, that being asexual is very much an isolating experience and it can be really really hard to become comfortable with.

For me, I grew up in a conservative town in a liberal state. So while no one was outwardly aggressive towards lgbt people which gave me a false sense of security, coming out was ROUGH. I lost all of my friends to the point where in highschool I wasn’t allowed in a party that everyone else in my grade went to, I got in a massive fight with my mom and ended up having to move out for a few weeks (don’t worry, we’re super close now), and I ended up going back in the closet which only ended up with me being coerced into having sex a bunch until I finally reached my breaking point. I realized I had to figure this out or I was gonna lose it.

Moving away from that environment was probably one of the main ways that I was able to start feeling okay. I moved to a nearby city, dropped all my old friends, made new ones, joined new activities, etc etc. I made sure my new friends knew I was ace pretty much right away, but I didn’t really talk about it past the casual, “Yeah, I’m asexual. I’ll date anyone but I won’t have sex with anyone. It hurts my body and I don’t like it.” and then that was it. I mean, I answered the inevitable questions that followed as if no, they weren’t dumb questions or invasive, even if maybe deep down I thought they were. But other than that it was just a casual mention, made sure they were chill with it, and then moved on.

And knowing that my friends were totally 100% okay with me being ace was like the best thing ever. They don’t UNDERSTAND being asexual on a deep level, (not even now after 3 years of living together), but I don’t understand how their sexualities function on that deep level either. It’s a two way street. And sometimes with people I’ll even ask them, “Okay but how do you KNOW that you like like someone like that?” and then they’ll have to take a step back and be like, “Oh shit, I guess it’s just innate. Oh damn I’ve never thought about this. Huh. Wtf.” You know, just showing curiosity in their feelings and showing that it’s okay to ask “obvious” questions really does a lot.

But tbh, my friends and I now will talk music or memes way before we’ll talk lgbt stuff. And half my friends are lgbt too. I just chose new friends who I connected and related to on deep levels that had nothing to do with sexuality at all.

The second big thing I did, and this is gonna sound counter-productive, was I unfollowed every ace-centered blog on Tumblr. No joke. I went through my followers and unfollowed EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I found that a lot of ace blogs, even ace-positive blogs, made me feel good for a second when I saw those ace-positive posts, but in the long run they ended up being really detrimental. Thinking about asexuality like something that needs constant validation is not healthy, no matter how positively it’s presented.

I was in a place where being asexual wasn’t normal in my head and I needed to normalize it, not validate it. Because validating asexuality comes AFTER normalizing it, not the other way around. So I needed to not constantly think about it or read about it or see it all the time. I needed to just watch it casually in modern media (aka watch Bojack Horseman and Saiki K on Netflix), talk about it with REAL PEOPLE irl in casual conversation occasionally, and just in general start looking at it like something as normal and mundane as my brown hair or dark eyes. Asexuality isn’t special, it’s not cool, it’s not sad either, it’s just another normal thing that contributes to me as a person.

So now when a follower reblogs an ace-positive post, I feel good. Like truly good. Not that fleeting good that will disappear in 30 secs and remind me that “oh yeah, there are a lot of people out there that hate aces.” I just get an occasional reminder that, “Oh yeah! I’m ace! Nice! I’m dope af!” 

But being asexual isn’t like in my “top 5 qualities” list. I don’t write my bios and put my asexuality at the top of my “about me.” In fact, I don’t even think i wrote that im asexual in my about me on tumblr lol. It’s not that I don’t like asexuality, it’s just so normal to me I’m just kinda like “oh yeah im ace. i have dark eyes. and 10 fingers. surprise! Okay now back to the good stuff…”

Also, a bit of a sidetrack, but that “everyone’s valid” culture on tumblr is actually super toxic and not good. And so getting away from that is v helpful to your mental health.

The last thing that I did that helped me a lot was actually a bit of a coincidence but I met a girl irl who was my coworker who happened to be asexual too. We worked together for like a year, we totally vibed and started hanging out together a ton, and then one day out of the blue she was like “yeah I’m pretty sure I’m ace too.” It was super dope and just having that one person that I could relate to like that who I also truly enjoyed hanging out with was like a breath of fresh air.

Finding a fellow ace irl that you vibe with can be tough. She wasn’t the first ace that I’d met, but I tend to be a rather blunt person and the previous aces I’d met were all through my school’s lgbt club and they tended to be,,,sensitive,,,(told me i was ableist because I talk loudly and my loud voice was insensitive to their sensory disorders like bitch i’ve got hearing problems i can’t solve but you CAN buy earplugs so lol thank u next byeee),,,BUT I DIGRESS, chill aces are hard to find but finding that one person is so nice. But I should say I was pretty much comfortable with being ace at that point. That was kind of the cherry on top. So if this isn’t available to you, which it doesn’t sound like it is, that’s okay. There are other things you can do in the meantime.

Also, I do have to add that much of the phandom happens to be asexual. Idk how that happened but it did.  So if you ever wanna talk ace-things, I’m sure so many people on here would be DOWN to talk ace stuff. I’ve done it before, it’s fun. They’re all rlly nice.

So yeah that was pretty much how I got from a place where I was so defeated about being ace from pretty much everyone around me to now I’m totally comfortable and normal with it to the point where I have turned several homophobes into lgbt-supporters because “fuck, Lexx is so chill and we vibe so hard but she’s lgbt??? i really like her as a person but she’s bi and ace??? hhhhhh,..,,,,i guess lgbt people are cool idk man ya wow ok.” (Legit one of these homophobes sent me screenshots a few months back where some kid was calling me a slur like on instagram or something and he was like “What, you mad cuz she won’t sleep with you? Get a life.” it was sweet 😊)

[vividlybnha]

Birthday Boy

@krbkweek2k19​  Day 7 (April 20) Bakugou’s Birthday/Free Prompt/ Third Day

i know im a whole day late so don’t reblog if you don’t want to

Warning: Fluff and Bakugou being bad at feelings.

Word Count: 2425

Author’s Note: You literally don’t understand how angry I am with myself for getting high and not doing this on Bakugou’s bday. Like it was 420 and i was really out here smoking and not writing for him. Anyway I hope this makes up for all that. Happy late birthday my sweet anger babey, love you <3. 

Bakugou tries his hardest not to be fond of his friends. He is supposed to be the punk angry boy from class 1-A. That is his reputation, that is who he is and he will uphold it. But it’s hard when his friends are complete dumbasses. How is he not supposed to laugh at their dumb conversations or when they end up dogpiled on Kaminari again. It’s not ‘cute’ or ‘funny’ and Bakugou has no idea why he always has to snap his head away from them to smile.

So maybe that’s why he holds an utter distaste for them when he opens his eyes to see a surprise birthday party. It’s that he didn’t have any clue that it was planned that got to him first. This entire week he was met with easy glances and kind smiles, as always. The same stupid jokes and yet here he is in utter surprise. He seems to hate them more every day.

Yet looking at the table centered in the middle of this garden he can’t help but feel fond of them.

The table is covered with dark colors and punk aspects. Things they’d know he’d like and yet it's almost cheesily so. The skull on the napkins looks so goth it seems like something that bird brain would have in his room (and it reminds him of a pirate flag). Not to mention the splash of orange and green, almost the exact same from his hero costume but the green is just slightly off to where it looks almost sickly. It’s by no means perfect but he can see how much work they put into it. The presents off to the side are so delicately wrapped, he knows that it was all Sero and his tape. There are hints of Mina and Kaminari’s terrible fashion taste with hints of leopard print and fur, but they made it work. And lastly the cake. It looks absolutely hideous. The only thing that stands out from the whole set up. It’s leaning and the wording is shakily written, the roses (he assumes) reminds him of a toddlers drawings. He would send it back to the kitchen if he saw it in any other circumstance. But here, in the middle of the garden with his friends bright, blinding smiles he can’t help but love it more than anything in the world.

Bakugou typically likes things with a hint of spice. To where he doesn’t have to make himself softer for the area and where it fits so perfectly with him. Angry and rough. The two things Bakugou is defined as so frequently is what he loves the most. But he admires the beauty here.

Despite it all, it (the black and terribleness of it all) looks so elegant against the backdrop of just woken roses. The colors clash so generously, they couldn’t have possibly done this by themselves. The gentle aura doesn’t fit their agenda, nor his. And yet he loves it.

His friends may not get the best test score or make the smartest jokes, hell Kaminari would probably laugh at a poop joke but they are hardworking, every day in class they put their all into training. They try so hard and it's not always for themselves, sometimes it's for a bet or a test grade or maybe because Bakugou threatened them but in the end, they still tried. And that’s what Bakugou loves the most about them.

The fresh buds from the flowers lean toward the light, swaying in the soft breeze. It couldn’t be more perfect.

“You guys are idiots.” His hand is immediately covering his happy grin, furrowing his eyebrow to try and cover his emotions.

They all take offense to his rude wording. Kaminari is the first to speak up, “Hey man we worked so hard on this! You don’t know how hard it was to get Mina to not say anything about this!” Mina cries out in protest.

“Yeah, we stayed up all night to put this together for you!” Kirishima drags him closer, arm on his shoulder.

“You could at least thank us!” Mina huffs putting two hands on her hips.

Bakugou throws a glare her way, “Look at that cake! It’s not even standing up straight!”

There is a slew of arguments and excuses until Kirishima is laughing loudly and suddenly.

“Wow Bakugou, you think your so smooth huh?” He says in between giggles.

Bakugou can feel the panic running through his body, hand still covering his mouth.

“Here you are smiling and yet you want to pretend you hate it?”

The rest of his friends are then quickly surrounding him pulling at his arms trying to see.

“No! I’m not sm- Let go of me! I’m not! There’s just something on my face!”

Kirishima pulled him into a tight hug, “You love it, huh? We had the help of the whole class!”

Bakugou blanks. The whole class helped? That would explain the elegance of it. But half the class is sure to hate him, so why did they help? He is rude to his own friends, never mind the whole class so why did anyone do this? He is quickly swimming in doubt.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean what do you mean?” Kaminari stupidly asks. Bakugou barely stops himself from hitting him for that one.

“That the whole class helped.” He says through gritted teeth.

“Because we are all classmates and they like being nice? I don’t know what you want me to say. That look on your face makes me feel like I’m saying something wrong.” Kaminari questions, putting his hands up for defense.

Bakugou doesn’t necessarily know how to feel about that. He has been rude and horrible to pretty much everyone from day one and yet he still gets a birthday party. He doesn’t deserve it at all. In the start of this year he wouldn’t have cared but now he can feel the anxiety and doubt pulse through him. This isn’t right.

Kirishima puts a soft hand on his wrist, pulling him close.

“Hey man, you okay?” His eyebrows are furrowed in a pout, searching his face for any signs. Bakugou nods and turns back to the others. He doesn’t miss how Kirishima doesn’t let go and he doesn’t make him.

“They didn’t want to disturb you because they know how you can be sometimes. They said they just wanted you to enjoy your time with your friends rather than a huge thing with people you don’t necessarily like.” Mina smiles at them. “I said you probably wouldn’t mind but they left their presents.”

Bakugou tries to ignore the feeling in his chest, buzzing in his heart.

“They all wish you a happy birthday, they mean it.” Sero gives him a soft smile.

Kirishima’s hand tightens on his wrist. Bakugou knows that he shouldn’t feel bad about this. He barely even likes those extras. But he can’t help but feel he pushed them all away.

Kirishima leans closely and whispers into his ear, “Your fine Bakugou. We are here because you are our friend but that doesn’t mean they hate you. They spent money on you and some of them wanted to be here but they wanted to respect you. No one hates you, okay?”

Bakugou doesn’t want to listen but he knows Kirishima is right. He is always right about these things. Mina pulls on his hand, “Hey let’s open some presents okay?” And Bakugou nods accepting the first gift. A small rectangular box. Sero raises a hand, “That’s mine!” Bakugou wastes no time tearing off the wrapping paper.

Sero’s present is two metal drumsticks. They feel cool and light in his hands, Bakugou doesn’t miss the chance to twirl them in his fingers. There is a small x and his name carved in small cursive letters on the side. It’s a good gift, he did end up breaking his old ones during the cultural festival (along with several others).

“They can withstand your explosions.”      

Bakugou raises his eyebrows in keen interest. Oh? He’s never had drumsticks like that.

“Try it.”

He grips the sticks tightly and lets a few soft explosions off. He opens his hand only to find remnants of smoke. Nothing.

“These are perfect.” He tries to sound angry when he says it, anything to make it sound not as nice but the same smile finds its way onto Sero’s face and he proudly watches as Kaminari hands him the next present.

Kaminari gets him coupons to his favorite restaurants around the city (the ones that serve the best spicy food) and a whole pack of extra spicy noodles that he has in the kitchen. It’s his favorite pack, the still brings tingles to his tongue when he eats it and still holds other flavors that don’t override the spiciness. Bakugou can’t help but love the present, everyone knows food is the way to someone’s heart. Which is a cheap trick on Kaminari’s part but he’ll allow it.

“These are good.”

“Aw give up the act! You love those! I don’t know what you see in them though. They are waaaaay too hot.”

“You’ve eaten them before?” Bakugou eyes him cautiously. Someone did take one, he never found out who though. Kaminari’s demeanor quickly changes and he is sweating and stumbling over his words.

“I mean, hasn’t everyone? At least once right?” Mina and Sero laugh quietly behind him.

“When I first brought them to the dorms you said you never tried them.” Bakugou sets the present down before letting the explosions come off his palms. He’s found the thief.

Kaminari starts to back up and Bakugou readies for a chase before Mina stuffs her present into his arms.

“Nope! Violence is reserved for after presents. You can beat him up then.”

“Mina! Traitor! You could have just said that he couldn’t hit me at all!”

Mina sneers at him, “You knew what would happen if you ate his food. You didn’t even finish it before you started crying.” Bakugou can’t help but laugh at that. He almost wishes he saw it.

Mina gets him the shittiest shirt he has ever seen and mascara. Bakugou takes them and tries his best to look disgruntled. The shirt just happens to be from one of his favorite metal bands, its design coats the front in intricate swirls and details. It’s the one he had been looking to buying it when he had the time but here it is. He sends a heartfelt glare and Mina and she smiles. The mascara is Flirty Minx, Extreme Volume. Bakugou blushes. He didn’t think anyone would notice he wore any but if it was going to be anybody it was going to be Mina who found out. That’s when he also realizes that he is running low.

Kirishima gets him a whole new pack of mountain climbing gear. The whole 9 yards. It’s all fitted nicely into the backpack: a new harness, boots, helmet, rope, everything. Bakugou can’t help but notice that none of the items are matching color wise, Bakugou laughs to himself. But closer to the bottom of the bag Bakugou finally sees them. A pair of orange and green crocs. It’s very distinctly modeled after his hero costume, with the two dots and the X over the tops. Although he loves his costume he absolutely hates these.

“You know I’m never going to wear these, right? They are hideous.”

Kirishima laughs, hand over his chest, “I told you one of these days I’d convert you. Besides, you’ll probably wear them once to be nice.”

Damn, he knows him too well. “No, I won’t.”

Kirishima only smiles back.

They spend the rest of that afternoon opening and talking about the presents. Bakugou can’t wait until it’s their birthdays just so he can show them up. He will be damned if they are better present givers than he is.

It is darker when they finally get to the lopsided cake. The afternoon becoming evening and tiredness starts to plague them all. Bakugou has to yell at them not to sing but they do it anyway. Bakugou has to hide his blush by hiding his face in his hands. God, he absolutely hates them. Mina cuts the cake (giving Bakugou a HUGE slice) and they all find spots to eat in the grass. Kirishima sits beside him once he’s got his slice, criss cross on the grass and chewing happily.

“Did you like today?” Kirishima is looking up at the vivid lights in the sky. The clashes of reds and pinks. It casts a perfect hue onto him. Bakugou can’t help but love the sight.

“This was dumb.” He tries to scowl but he really can’t. That’s when he realizing he is angry. There is no trace of anger anywhere in him. He feels calm and peaceful. Kirishima laughs, already knowing he doesn’t mean it.

For the first time that evening it’s quiet and soft.

Despite knowing he shouldn’t and everything in his body telling himself to stop he leans closer to Kirishima. From the corner of his eye, he can see him smile and blush but move closer anyway.

“This cake taste like shit.”

Kirishima chuckles, shoulders jerking slightly. “Yeah, we kept trying over and over last night. This was the best outcome of all the attempts so you’re lucky.”

The sun is pulling to a close in the sky, dripping just to the tops of the roses and resting there. He can feel his tiredness plaguing his eyes. There was so much running around and joking (and his early bedtime) he knows it's not long before he falls asleep.

“Thank you guys, really.” It’s just above a whisper and Kirishima doesn’t say anything. He almost thinks he didn’t hear him, which he is perfectly fine with him. The area gets darker and darker and Bakugou doesn’t know if it’s just him blinking longer and longer of the sun falling from the sky. Either way, he finds himself closing his eyes and keeping them there.

He barely feels it but he knows it happens. Kirishima moves his spiky hair back and plants a gentle kiss on his forehead. It’s short and sweet. Bakugou almost wants to wake up so he can return the birthday gift but his limbs don’t move.

“Happy Birthday Bakugou.”

And out of all Bakugou’s birthdays, he has to admit. No matter how much he hates his dumb friends and this dumb party-

This was his favorite one of all.

[intothespideyverses]

a modest reinterpretation of “andi’s choice” in c-minor (inspired by a post by @ambimack)

in which bowie ghostwrites a song, andi tries to go ghost on walker, and [insert third awful ghost pun here]: 

so bowie is actually ringing up customers for once at the music store that I figured rarely got business because helloo it’s always damn near empty but I guess today there was a surge of customers seeking out guitar picks and vinyls to show how Cultured and Unique they were for listening to the beatles or whomever. anyway jonah is on his guitar, doing as jonahs are wont to do, and bowie drops the bomb on him with “so yeah remember that music coach I told you about? she hates you. she quite frankly and literally wants you dead. she told me this herself. why didn’t you show up???” and jonah’s like “andi don’t fw me anymore :(” which isn’t rly an answer bc lbr here homeboy was ALREADY running late. you mean to tell me him staring at that painting took 4 whole minutes? nah. 

so anyway bowie’s like “hm let’s change that” bc manipulating your daughter’s emotions behind her back is cool I guess. bowie, totally not projecting in any way whatsoever, suggests that jonah write andi a song. jonah’s not about it tho. “I can’t talk about my feelings!” he says, which is true considering he only just started exhibiting negative emotions for the first time ever last week. bowie goes, “sure u can! what rhymes with back?” and jonah almost says “crack!” bc thats clearly what bowie’s been on for the past 2 episodes but lemme not.

anyway jump to andi @ the spoon and her boo thang who’s not rly her boo thang yet bc terri hates us is facetiming her again. “so andi, my wife whom I would die for, what’s up?” and andi replies “my best friend is moving away :(” so walker, the understanding king he is, goes “aw pick your head up queen, your crown’s falling :’)” and tells her to go be with her friends and something about a bubble machine idk but w/e we still stan.

buffy comes in w/ all the junk the ghc left at her house including a knockoff tamagotchi which seems kinda before andi’s time?? like she was supposedly 7 when she got it which would have been around 2010? but once again w/e we still stan. and buffy reads the recommendation letter cyrus’ mom wrote for him which seemed a tad incomplete. “I can’t believe my mom forgot to add three references, what a waste...” he sighs.

but walker comes in and andi’s like “tf didn’t u just tell me to drink bubble soap and be w/ my friends? what r u doing here?” and walker, the modern day da vinci, says “im here to draw ur friends as a going away present for your fellow queen, buffy” and buffy looks shooketh like hey if andi don’t want him go get him sis! 

so walker draws a louvre level artist rendering of the ghc and instead of appreciating the fact that walker could probably make an exact recreation of the mona lisa, andi’s like “*rolls eyes emoji* *sucks teeth emoji* now i got TWO of these little boys after me what the fuck -_-” but that doesn’t matter bc buffy and cyrus are LIVING for it. 

“im gay so clearly im the better sassy best friend, step tf back bitch”

“the sassy best friend stereotype was made for my black ass cyrus so if you think for even a second I won’t claim my rightful spot you are sadly mistaken”

“let me have this one thing buffy I can’t even say the word gay out loud on this damn show can I at least have this?? can I?”

buffy takes a sip of her virgin margarita and goes...

anyway back at the music shop, jonah has just finished practicing the song bowie ghostwrote for him. jonah’s like “great this is perfect for me to sing outside andi’s window” and bowie quite litcherally flips a table and goes “you rly thought u were gonna pull that corny shit??? what year is it?? 1985 called they want their courtship technique back lol what a loser” and jonah’s like hm perhaps he really is on crack but doesn’t say it out loud bc that would hurt bowie’s feelings :/. bowie says that he already booked jonah to perform at the open mic being held THAT NIGHT lmao and jonah just about has another panic attack bc what??

“what??” he asks bowie who is too busy thinking about him performing “you girl” to bex when they were younger to even remember who jonah even is. jonah’s quite honestly shitting himself and wondering what tf he’s going to do. “being around you” is cute and all but it doesn’t go nearly as hard as andi deserves, especially if he now has to compete with artsy fartsy walker who could probably redo the sistine chapel all by himself if he rly wanted to. “hm..........how can one convey how truly deep in their feelings they are for the one they love?” jonah asks the universe, bc hey it seems to always work for bowie. 

the universe responds by sending a speeding car full of college kids blasting aubrey graham’s newest hit single right into the storefront window. 

“that’s it!” 

jonah’s handing out flyers at the spoon and cyrus literally melts into a puddle and I’m pretty sure this is the first nod to his crush on jonah since he came out to andi wow. andi’s like “since when do u do anything aside from throwing a plastic disc?” and jonah’s like “last week 🤗"

they go to the open mic and some girlie is throwing it DOWN w/ her accordion but bowie being the uncultured swine he is, pulls her off the stage. “anywayyyy here’s our final performance and the only reason we held this show tonight, give a big round of applause to jonah beck!”

jonah walks out with his guitar and an amazon copyrighted product shaped like a portable speaker. bowie’s like 🤨 bc this was supposed to be an acoustic performance tf does he need a backing track for? jonah sits down on his lil stool and clears his throat. “alexa play ‘in my feelings, jonah beck cover’”. the device plays a track consisting of jonah’s angelic backing vocals, and our boy begins to strum his guitar. he opens his mouth to croon...

“trap...trap bowie bowie”

bowie’s chiseled jaw drops to dirty ass music shop floor. “this is...not what I planned.”

“this stuff’s got me in my feelings...gotta be real w/ it...”

the entire audience has a collective heart attack. 

“an-di, do u luv me? r u riding? say you’ll never ever leave from beside me, cause I want ya and I need ya, and I’m down for u always...”

buffy and cyrus catch whiplash from turning so fast to face andi. “the song’s about YOU bitch!”

andi shakes her lil head. “puh-lease, no it’s not”

cyrus, doing his best not to cry, says “he literally just said ur name but go off”

andi’s in denial bc eww j*n*h b*ck? singing a song? for her? disgusting. but jonah keeps singing his little heart out and the lyrics are more and more damning as they go on. 

“trap, trap bowie bowie...I buy you rice on a string cause you not that showy”

“art 101 cause u just like zoey”

“fuck he is singing about me...”

“fudge that netflix and chill what’s ur net-net-net worth?” jonah sings, hitting an impossible high note. queen of vocals. 

“you’re the only one I luv~~~” he serenades, serving us mariah carey level whisper notes. ariana is cancelled! our boy finishes the song, basking in the thought of how many careers he singlehandedly ended by performing at this small hole-in-the-wall music shop in bumfuck, utah. drake your days are numbered sis. 

everyone immediately deserts the shop en masse like did y’all see how fast they all left last episode?? damn. buffy and cyrus stay behind while andi is frozen sitting in her chair bc what the hell does one say to that. 

bowie goes up to jonah and is like “so um...that was...different.” and jonah responds “ikr! see, ‘being around you’ felt too old school, too...2002. idk why that year specifically, but idk it just sounds like it was written in 2002 for a completely different person, maybe even bex, but what do I know? im just your friendly neighborhood jonah beck.” bowie is shook. “anyway, do u think andi liked it?” bowie looks up to see his dorder who he’s more or less forgot about in favor of m*randa and demon child for the past couple of days walking in slow motion to the stage. how she was doing that was beyond him. “well, she looks like she’s about to cry so that’s either a very good thing or a very bad thing. ur on ur own now bud.” and he skidaddles to where bex is waiting. oh yeah bex was in this episode too I forgot. 

andi approaches jonah and he’s like “...so...song....you like?” and andi’s internally screaming bc everyone for the past several weeks has been pushing this relationship on her including jonah himself and now he just sung this song in front of all these ppl and now she pretty much HAS to kiss him so anyway ya she does. 

when she pulls away jonah blinks. “oh...dosche”

THE END. 

will andi finally break up with jonah for good? will jonah avoid copyright infringement for covering a drake song on disney channel? will bowie seek help for his crack addiction? find out next time on dragonball z!

[ariistocracies]

beep beep y’all it’s kay ( 20, est, she/her ) ur resident dumpster dweller popping in with one of my three hot mess of children ,, tony n jamie will be up soon depending on when i can get my shit together jdlks but heNYWAYS !! let me introduce u to this dumpster on fire known as danika ,, it will be in bulletpoints bc my attention span is v short and i’m at work. like this n i’ll shoot u message to plot or just yell at me in my dm’s hfbdjkf

ariana grande. cisfemale. she/her. — did you see { danika monroe }, i haven’t seen the { twenty-four } year old in a while! you know, they’re a { concept artist }, and have been living in jersey city for { two years }. some say they’re { peevish & judgmental }, but i think they’re { compassionate & gregarious }. regardless, i’m glad { dani } is here. 

STATISTICS: 

full name: danika blair monroe nicknames: dani or just danika hometown: edinburgh, scotland sexuality: pansexual gender: cisfemale birthday: june 12th, 1994 spoken languages: english, italian, & german hogwarts house: hufflepuff

BACKSTORY + PERSONALITY:

okie so danika was originally born and raised for the first 2 years of her life in the scottish countryside outside of edinburgh bc her mom and dad had a whirlwind romance when they were in their later years of university and got married following graduation bc they were already expecting danika

adanika’s mother moved to the small town where her husband was from ,, putting her aspirations of becoming an attorney on hold bc *vine vc* coUNTRY boYY i love youuu ow

so danika’s mom was p much holding down a reception job while her husband kinda just spent his time in bars when he wasn’t doing construction so their relationship fell apart p much after the honeymoon phase wore off .. so her mom had Enough and filed for divorce, won custody of danika and bounced back off to edinburgh to jump start her law career

so danika lived with her mom and grandparents and it was all v gucci !! given she was 2 so she didn’t have much of an opinion kjfdsjkfL ,, but growing up she absolutely loved living in edinburgh !! just enjoyed admiring the architecture and how it was a bustling tourist city and how genuinely happy everyone seemed ?? tbh she imagined she would live there for the rest of her life n not move bc her mom was there and it was all she knew

danika was always a v creative child growing up .. she loved reading and absolutely hated math and just did better in english class while always looking forward to art class ,, she loves to paint and draw but she’s slightly better drawing with pencils and such rather than paintbrushes

so ya girl stayed nearby for college bc she’s laME and would miss her mom too much skfjnk but she majored in art but also freelanced as an illustrator during that time,, she does commissions through her twitter account ( which she still does ) bc her specialty is character studies and landscapes  but also did designs for a local card company for extra coin ,, prefers drawing ppl and also has a moleskin notebook that she carries on her at all times in her purse and just chills in chapter one and sketches ppl

she self taught herself how to draw on the tablet her mom got her for christmas so she alternates between hand drawn and digital art ,, her specialty is superheroes and has too many drawings of tony stark bc she’s weak for him ,, that and harry potter SHE WILL DRAW MORE DESPITE THE ABUNDANCE SHE HAS

danika is a giant nerd despite the *~*cool*~* exterior she puts up ,, lit she’s the biggest dumpster fire of all even tho she pretends to be a Cool Girl ,, lit her humor is basically lame jokes, vine references and pop culture references ,, but im sorry if her accent goes into overdrive when she’s talking about smth she’s passionate about bc it can be A Lot ,. casually it’s still present but she can pull it back to help ppl understand

she goes through weird spurs of random confidence where she’ll talk to new people and sign up for tinder but mainly does it when she needs a self confidence boost ,, but she’s a Chicken and the idea of going on dates scares the shit out of her mainly bc she hasn’t had a proper relationship ??

now that i think about it she’s had a brief relationship that lasted a few weeks but ended when danika felt like she was only being kept around for sex and that was not something she was ready to go through with since it meant more to her than him ,, just too worried and caught up in her anxiety to really put herself out there but one day hopes to be That Hoe if she builds up the confidence

probably has small crushes on everyone bc she loves 2 appreciate the good in everyone so she has issues deciphering when she really Likes someone ,, but even if she did truly like someone she avoids confrontation and responsibilities so she’ll just wither away without ever saying something

she made the move to jersey a little bit after graduating from university bc she got a job interview at a big name game developing studio in nyc and she was like lmao #yikes but her mom convinced her to buy a plane ticket and go and lo and behold !! she went and nailed the interview and got the job so she tearfully made the Official move to the states as a concept artist for the games being worked on in the studio

decided not to live in nyc bc hA that shit is expensive so she decided jersey city would be a decent commute so she got an apartment so hmu !!! if u need a roommate !! bc she def needs one

adores her british longhorn kitten that is snow white and bc she’s a nerd she named him draco but she loves him with all her heart and shows pictures to anyone who’s willing to listen to her love declarations

recently dyed her hair blonde bc she figured a change in her appearance would help for a change in how she presents herself and acts ,, trying to be more social and definitely a bit of the Mom Friend

listens to africa by toto unironically and truly loves it ,, and considers a gr8 night ordering in dominos and watching john mulaney comedy specials on netflix bc i hate hER .. so she’s branching out more and spreading her wings !!

[misterbitches]

i just so deeply believe (and im right) that capitalism and putting a best face forward destroys art and also your will to want to create. the things that people make, that most people know about, become popular because industries pick people they know will comply, or need money, or are naive enough to think they can get what they want. 

there’s no reason productions should be that expensive and draining on crew members (i care less about actors bc i am a crew member and guess what actors just sit around all day sorry not sorry and i was one :P) but i always say: the little progress we make, is it really progressive? transgressive? 

and how could it be? how could it b ewhen companies refuse to relinquish themselves and break themselves up into parts. a web series could give people so much more freedom, but that is a whole lot more of a difficulty. i’ve made my own shorts (that i hate) and said what i wanted to say and even the pressure from how my school would receive it fucked up my psyche. 

and it takes so long for people who refuse to be stifled and be obsessed with this capitalist nightmare to get their shit released. if they get really popular still theyre not rolling in money (as they should not be) but they struggle to get shit together bc it’s harder to work with someone whose vision is opposed to this white supremacist garbage nightmare. 

i have a theory about parasite which is that SK has a totally different history with labor and capital than my country (US) does and it was done with that in mind and as an ttack on imperialism very clearly. that movie is not without its flaws, which can be discussed, but to date next to sorry to bother you which i havent seen it’s pretty much the most antagonistic film about that subject i’ve seen in a while. 

and in SK there’s tons of queer cinema (i may be exaggerating) but a lot of it is very gritty or uncomfortable (i am going to try and find this list my friend made of good sk queer cinema i think? or just n gen) and western gay shit is so popular overseas bc there’s a plethora of (BAD OR ANNOYING MOVIES I HATE CAROL) to go off of and see. a lot of international lesbians, for ex, really are into like hwood gay films or some shit bc that’s also what they can access and consume (let’s not get started on that fuckin dichotomy of man/woman but w/e) 

i wish i could be more cheerful and positive. it’s not that i don’t want to have fun or escape or watch these shows, in fact i do, and there’s legitimate shock when you see sth like ITSAY and it’s a beautiful cinematic experience. oh and on top of that i hate most TV and most TV is trash and films are better. imo ITSAY is like a movie split. 

why do we keep having hope in these systems? what i want in the future, because theyre not going away, is for more corps to reach out to collectives and diff types of filmmakers or artists and support them without making them stick to a contract and not do what they want. UNFORTUNATELY that’s really not how anyone feels like working. 

in my belief, at a time like right now, we have to be clear about not accepting austerity from the relief and to not fall into the trap of advancement via cultural artifacts. it’s bullshit—we fight against it. that doesn’t mean we can’t get excited when shows have things to say but i refuse to withhold critique because it’s so necessary in every piece

btw there’s this filmmaker called Park Kyoung Mi and though she’s married to this irish dude (who i think is like a professor of social theory idk) she was an AD to park chan wook (also a socialist) and a great filmmaker. in each of her works there’s a focus on women and queer themes of women and teens and their isolation and subsequent connections with each other. how men let them down, how you have to band together, the scariness of growing up. she made this miniseries for netflix called “school nurse files.” SNF was a book, it was written by a woman and its about desire, loss, and conformity, particularly for teenagers. there’s lots of queer themes and adult themes that  make it so we understand the precious lives of teenagers and how they need love and guidance instead of being shunned and pit against each other. 

it’s one of my favorite miniseries. netflix has this habit of picking up shows and telling NO ONE about them or very little advertising (it’s diff for south korean shows i think since a lot of production companies may come on board) and then canceling them. it is for a LEGIT reason which is MONEY!!!! but the director said she said yes bc she was given complete control and without it she would refuse. she also said she couldn’t get work or was feeling like the work she was doing was terrible (and in the reviews of the show or explanations about her it was always beginning with “PCW’s protege”) but she almost quit bc the pressure hrut and whittled at her

atp we need to take advantage of these systems if we have things to say and not let them take advantage of us. unfortunately, the opposite happens because people need work, have things to say whethere they’re shallow or not, and CONSTANT production means work and BS. this is how i feel about pretty much all industry and i’m the least critical of BL as opposed to say, kpop, or uhhhhhhhhh any celebrity ever bc it DOES have an edge over others but it’s an edge that they can barely fucking reach for or do well with. 

nothing and i mean nothing abou oversaturation and constant production will yield results that are going to be radical and “good” bc we’re approaching things ass backwards. the norm isn’t the ones that hurt you, the ones that stay with you, the ones that mean something. the norm is the bullshit you have to parse through. and even for things that do a great job of storytelling they still have their flaws or still have to buy into a system eventually, if the work calls for it, that they would long to eschew

if anyone sees this read this profile on arthur jafa, a prolific DP who i got the pleasure of seeing live AYYYY, and what he has to say. he left filmmaking then came back on his own terms and frankly i believe that’s just...what we have to do if we want to make a better world. that’s just me personally but this is my counterbalance to a fallacy that a work is revolutionary when it has zero intention of being so or will lie about its intention to save itself

this piec is called ARTHUR JAFA’S RADICAL ALIENATION and it reminds me of all the artists—particularly thai—i’ve seen that have had this radical alienation or refuse to water down their message and people will deal

i present one of my fav pieces  i’ve read frm the past year (it’s from 2014 but i read it end of 2019 when i was questioning me future) Radical Art is an Act of Uncompromising Passionate Resistance

[angelfacehobi]

11 Questions Tag!

I was tagged by @rapmonluv who is a moonbeam starlight filled wondrous person (and im still like *0* at being tagged by you) thank you so much lovely and aghh all these questions were so good!!! 💕💕

1. What is your favourite song from Dark & Wild, Wings, and LY: Her? Dark & Wild- Danger Wings- Cypher Pt.5 LY: Her- Outro: Her

2. You find yourself in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, what is your survival strategy? Oh god... attempt to hold it together and not have a COMPLETE breakdown whilst barricading myself in a nearby food store before it gets pillaged? WOw I got stressed just thinking about that T.T

3. You win an all expenses paid holiday to wherever you want to go. So… where are you going? I’m gonna go to Hawaii. It super expensive there so if I could go there all expenses paid it would be amazing. I’m studying Natural History and Marine Photography rn soooo the underwater photography opportunities there would be IMMENSE!! Also it’s just so incredibly beautiful with a such a rich cultural history.

4. Do you have any Christmas traditions? What are they? Every year I watch The Santa Clause literally the maximum amount of times I can afford to. Its my favourite christmas movie of ALL time!! This year I got to watch it with my new and much loved roommates which was amazing. Oh and a friend from back home always sends me this same shitty christmas themed chainmail every. single. year. So i guess its kind of become a tradition to send him it back.

5. You can choose any superpower in the world. What do you pick? I would love to be an elemental!! Control the elements!! But on a more practical level I’d like to have invisibility... it would open so many doors!! Did I just say ‘on a more practical level’ when talking about my preferred superpower? I think I did.

6. You are at a classy-ass bar. What is your drink of choice? Ughhhhh I really want to say Long Island Ice Tea but thats not very classy is it?? Gin & Lemonade? Thats not classy but I think it’s as classy as you’ll get from me.

7. If you could pick anyone from BTS to be your platonic best friend, who would you choose and why? Namjooooooooon!!! I think we are quite similar in our demeanours so I feel like we would be at peace around each other. Conversation wouldn’t be forced and silences wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Plus he would be an amazing friend and no one can convince me otherwise...

8. What is your favourite pizza topping? Pineapple!! (don’t hate me!!!) Or goats cheese (don’t hate me!!!)

9. What is one of the best pieces of advice you have ever received? That it’s okay to cut people out of your life and sometimes it’s actually the best thing you can do.

10. Are you a cat person, or a dog person?  Kitty Cats!! I even have a tattoo of a cat doodle! <3

11. Who do you pick as your character when playing Mario Kart? this shouldn’t be surprising due to my last answer but I ALWAYS go as Cat Peach!! I didn’t really like Peach but then she got a cat costume... *0* <3

My Questions: 1. If you could buy one present for every member of BTS what would you get them? 2. Whats one thing that you’d like to happen this winter? 3. What is the best present you’ve ever received? 4. What are your top 5 songs right now? 5. What do you like most about yourself? 6. If you could pick one tv show, video game, book, movie universe to live in... which would you pick? 7. What was the last thing you binge watched? 8. What are three things that make you feel warm inside? 9. Top 5 books of all time? 10. What is your astrological sign? Is it accurate to your personality? 11. What are you 10 most used emojis?

I’m tagging;  @hobismovingcastle, @gracefully-falling, @softjikookie, @lookingforco, @taaeeter-tots, @freehoseoksdick and @dat-town