#i want to hibernate to january

[redrobin-detective]

I hate the commercialization of Christmas centered around present giving, that I am socially forced to buy things for both people I love and people I want to choke on a starburst. I hate the forced, fake cheer around as people pretend they’re being good and charitable by buying overly priced junk just to tick off a box on their to do list. I hate that most of the time, people are too stressed by having to buy so many people gifts that often they just buy whatever just to have something to wrap which the receiver doesn’t even want resulting in a circle jerk of stress for everyone involved with no net gain.

[rielzero]

Well now it's just flu, still mild, but I can't function like this.. Lol. Had to cancel appointments. I am staying in bed and watching Marvel's What if..?

My throat hurts so bad thoughhh

[lottiies]

SHARED MY BODY AND MY MIND WITH YOU

→ Leon broke up with you because of his emotional baggage, not wanting to drag you down into his trauma-induced misery. He didn’t usually date out of his line of work anyway, he hated himself for involving himself with someone so innocent. But when he gets a voicemail at an awfully late hour and listens to it, he nearly broke driving laws to get to your place. He still loves you, that much is certain. Your body and mind are like a second nature to him

CW: MDNI, fem!reader, pwp, one sided breakup, angst, description of leon’s self guilt and sabotage, heavy mentions of marriage, centered around Leon rather than the reader, reconciliation, lovemaking–gentle sex, crying, very small religious snippet, he eats you out, unprotected p in v, implied aftercare + implication of a better future

WC: 5.3k

Note: i think…this is my favorite fic that i’ve ever written. breaking my pink blog theme with this and actually capitalizing letters um…i had to set the tone okay. i actually started working on this in january to cope with some things, but i didn’t make much progress until recently!! the title’s a lyric from the song ‘cruel world’

BOT VERSION HERE MASTERLIST

Leon has a rule: never get emotionally involved with anyone who isn’t in his line of work. The reason behind that is self-explanatory. It's too difficult to accomplish. All his baggage holds him down, and he’s always away for long periods at a time and then returns back with body aches all over and has to hibernate for a while. What does he truly have to offer?

He did it anyway.

You managed to romance him, granting him a fleeting glimpse of happiness and a chance at self-love. Lingering caresses, meaningful eye contact, soulful conversations, an audience to his jokes, the key to your heart — you gave him everything.

Breaking up with you was painful, the second it was all said and done and you were out of his sight, he broke down crying. That was what he deserved, that’s what his mind told him.

It was easy for Leon to disappear from your life, just as quick as the snap of his fingers. He was never around that much to begin with. Your efforts in reaching out to him were futile if he was halfway across the world dealing with another abrupt assignment, or if he fell back into the habit of nursing a drink in some run down bar without contacting a soul.

But no amount of alcohol could make him forget about you these days. The memories of you were too strong to be diluted.

“What about this one?” Curiosity had dripped from your question, your fingers gently feathered across the healed up scar on his left shoulder.

Leon was almost an open book when it came to you, he truly cherished honesty in any relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Guilt weighed on him for having to limit certain answers to only the surface details. It felt wrong; it felt like he was keeping secrets from you and keeping you in the dark. But it couldn’t be helped, not when you weren’t in the same line of work as him. Most of the contents of his work were confidential.

After all, at this point the two of you had only been dating for half a year. How could he burden your mind with the harsh realities of everything that wasn’t known by the general public?

The two of you were naked, tangled under the sheets. No sex or anything, simply getting familiar with each other’s bodies and exploring with gentle and cautious hands.

“1998, shot on duty.”

The memories were still fresh in his mind. People say that forgetting a traumatic event is common, people dissociate to cope and shield their brain. It was the opposite for Leon. All the screams plagued his mind like a damn mantra, no way in hell would he ever be able to forget anyone’s voice.

Either that, or his mind made up fantasies about what could’ve been between you both. Domestic bliss. Buying a house together. Shy talks about how many kids you guys wanted. The memories haunted him. He wanted it back.

He even bought a ring. A beautiful one that he was meant to display to you when he sunk onto one knee and popped the question that would hopefully bind the two of you for life. The one that he was supposed to fidget with whenever he held your hand as the two of you planned your wedding, whether it be simple, grand, or to elope.

He kept it safe even after he broke up with you, he couldn’t bear to throw it away because of the sliver of hope that maybe one day he’d still get the chance of putting it on your finger. He felt like a fool. Sometimes he opened the box up to reminisce. It tugged at his heartstrings when he saw how rough his own fingers were in comparison to the smooth metal, from his years of physical exhaustion and training. God, he wished your hands would never get all battered like his.

He thought about you so much that you were the star actress in his nightly dreams.

The worst ones were the nightmares, though. Like the one that had him turning in his sleep tonight.

It all replayed in his mind. Your facial expression when he broke up with you out of the blue — the way the smile on your face had faded into a frown, your glimmering eyes contorting into that of disheartened ones. The way you looked at him with such a concoction of emotions. The pitiful chuckle that escaped your lips along with a nervously spoken ‘what?’ Or maybe it was the prolonged silence afterwards that killed him. It felt like hours until he got a proper response from you, one that was drowned out by the drumming of his own heart and the pulse that formed in his ears.

Usually he got to the end of it, but tonight he was abruptly woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. A blessing in disguise, maybe. Regardless, he was a bit irritated, he had always been such a light sleeper.

“You’re kidding…” Leon let out a heavy sigh, trying to rub the sleep away from his eyes. He didn’t even want to answer, too tired to even think about the possibility of being called to the field. No way in hell did he want to be met with Hunnigan’s voice and some intel he didn’t feel like remembering.

He let the phone ring, and eventually, blissful silence filled the room again. If it was dire, he knew he’d get another call soon.

Instead, he heard his phone vibrate not long after. He muttered out a curse before reaching for his phone, seeing that a voicemail was left. He didn’t bother reading whose number it was. Christ, the message was 5:06 minutes long.

Whatever. He played it aloud, resting his forearm over his face as he listened in.

“Hey Leon, it’s me…”

Fuck.

He fully sat up on his bed, so quickly it could’ve given him whiplash.

“I miss you. Still think about you every day. I don’t know what I did wrong…you probably aren’t even listening to this. I just…I don’t know.” a sigh. “The clock hit 12 and um, well today’s the anniversary of the day you asked me out. Maybe you don’t remember. I think you do though, you were always good with dates.”

Leon knew the voice of a broken person when he heard it.

No. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to let you go and then you’d see how much life had to offer, how any other person could give you a better and more stable relationship.

How could you be hung up on a man like him?

It was instinctual. He shuffled out of bed, body reacting before his mind and reaching for a clean pair of clothes from his closet. He left the voicemail playing in the background, it filled his lonely house. His heart was racing so loudly he couldn’t even hear the sounds of the wind outside or the creak of the floor with every step. All he did was change and brush his teeth before he drove over to you.

Thankfully, the roads were empty and the highway was free of traffic or else surely he would’ve been pulled over.

Thinking rationally wasn’t necessary when it came to you, not when he just got punched in the gut with a load of nostalgia and gut wrenching heartbreak.

He has always been yours, even during the separation. His heart hammered within his ribcage when he pulled into your driveway, his body moving in a hurry out of his car and towards your door. No hesitation.

Knock, knock, knock.

Ten seconds felt like ten minutes, but eventually the door swung open.

Your pretty face filled the focus of his pupils, his expression softening. You looked like a deer in the headlights, gazing up at him with wide eyes.

Oh, my sweet girl. There she is.

His hands itched to reach for you, to hold you in his arms and spin you around, nuzzling his nose against yours like old times — like some romantic drama. He hadn’t watched one in a while, they reminded him too much of you. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

Leon's hair was messy. It was a sight you had seen many times: his bed hair. Those emotion carrying eyes of his were contrasted with the lifeless bags under them. He came over so damn quickly he hadn’t even taken the time to make himself look composed.

“Leon? What are you…” You couldn’t even finish your thoughts. You felt nothing yet so much at the same time, perhaps from the shock of it all. You brought two fingers to the pulse on your neck to make sure you were awake, and hadn’t somehow fallen asleep after your call and voicemail to him. The thundering pace of your pulse confirmed that you weren’t off in dream land.

“I got your voicemail,” He responded, sounding remorseful. “Had to make sure you were alright. Uh…can I come in?”

You continued staring at him like if he was some sort of supernatural being. If you reached your hand out to touch him, would he disappear? Or perhaps your limb would go straight through him as if he was transparent.

You snapped out of it and nodded. “Yeah, come on in.” Hesitation clouded your tone, not out of wariness but because you had no clue what the hell was going on. You hadn’t seen him in over a year, at least not in person, only through photos and videos you still had saved on your phone from when the two of you were dating (going through them was part of your nightly routine.)

“To be honest…I wasn’t expecting you to even hear my message.”

You stood there awkwardly as he entered, closing the door afterwards. Your apartment still smelled the same, a wave of comfort washed over him despite the circumstances, his eyes darting around at all your belongings. This was once his safe space, like his secret haven.

You sat on your couch, waving him over. Your legs felt like jelly, no way could you be standing for this. He followed, sitting on the couch cushion on the opposite side from you.

“My ringtone woke me up. I thought you were a coworker of mine at first but…I’m glad you weren’t.”

“Glad, really?”

“Yeah.” He gave no further context, at least for that minute.

Silence hung in the air, time became still. Either way, the shared glance between the two of you broke the tension, you were both thinking the same thing. Your minds were linked, seeking reconciliation, every circuit of neurons buzzing with your shared proximity.

He rested his elbows on his knees, running a hand through his hair, a nervous habit. Everything felt surreal, you couldn’t take your eyes off him, afraid he’d disappear.

“I’m…I’m sorry about the way I ended things.” There was a crack in his voice, he was so desperately clinging onto the ideology that he shouldn’t wear all his heart on his sleeve. He failed every time though, his words had wavered.

“I know.” You truly did.

“How?”

“Because I know you, Leon. It hurt, and I found myself wondering why you would just up and leave after what felt like such a meaningful time. But I didn't ever think you did it with mal intent.”

You should be demanding answers, hell, he could even take a few slaps to the face. Maybe his guilt ridden self preferred that to your sweet treatment. Did he even deserve to be met with your understanding? This self-pitying mindset he harbored is what had led to this in the first place.

“You’re right. I didn’t mean to hurt you, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.” Were his efforts in explaining himself getting across? “I thought it was better this way. I'm…broken.”

Trying to convince him that he isn’t ‘broken’ was futile, all you could do was beautify it instead. You scooted closer to him, clasping one of his hands between yours. “All you see are your faults, but I was seeing you entirely, not just for what you do in your job or the images that keep you up at night.”

His hands felt the same. Calloused in areas he couldn’t help like his knuckles and his palms, but well-kept in the nail department. He looked down at the physical contact, putting his other hand atop yours, his thumb grazing tenderly at your skin. Familiar territory.

“It’s hard not to.” He admitted, his eyes feeling glossy all of a sudden. “My job is my life, it drags into every other part of my life.”

“How did it drag into our relationship?”

He truly didn’t know how to answer that. The times he shared with you were the best experiences of his life. He finally got the chance to pull out his cardboard box full of romantic movies to watch with the lover he had been waiting for his whole life, you. Countless nights spent cooking together in your kitchen, full of laughter and playful bickering, and some harmless food fights. Grocery shopping together with laced fingers, just a sneak peek into domesticity. God, he yearned for its return.

“I don’t know. I constantly had to leave and got no vacation time either. Let’s see…I had to keep a lot of information confidential. It kinda screams ‘this’ll all make a girl run the other way.’”

How wrong he was, he ended up leaving before he could get abandoned, as if that would’ve happened, though, you never wanted him out of your life.

“That wasn’t true for me, Leon. I wanted to be with you. I just hope I wasn’t a burden on you.”

That hurt. A dull ache spread across his chest. He pulled you close, tucking you against his side.

“Don’t say that,” His instruction was soft spoken, his lips brushed against your cheek. You were never a burden, he always shut you out, thinking that his heart was full of thorns and you’d prick yourself if he let you get too close. That, perhaps his sorrow was contagious and his poison would flood your veins.

Words of comfort weren’t his strong suit, but he tried his best. He had to. “You weren’t a burden. Never were, and never will be, okay?”

It felt so good to have you against him, his gaze was set on you, searching for any indicator that you were uncomfortable. You leaned your shoulder against his shoulder though, nuzzling against him. Pensive silence followed.

Even with the somber undertones filling your apartment, your heart was bursting. He was here, back with you. Holding you like he used to do after you had a particularly stressful day at work, or when you had an argument with one of your close ones.

The long separation made familiar carnal desires spark to life, along with the itch to bring them to fruition.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You murmured to him, but your wavering voice caught his instant attention.

You were on the verge of tears, oh dear. If you started sobbing, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold back from crying either.

Leon didn’t waste a second, pulling you onto his lap, one of his hands stroking the back of your head, his other arm wrapping around your back.

“What are you thinking about?” He needed to know. You had always been the most verbal, whereas his feelings usually showed on his face or body language.

“About how much I missed you.” You respond, running your hands up and down his arms, squeezing at his muscles. “And how unreal this feels. And…” Your eyes flicker down to his lips. “I wanna kiss you, Leon…and y’know.” Make love. “Like old times.”

Oh.

“Are you sure?” Leon hadn’t intended for the night to play out this way. He needed to make sure you were actually thinking straight with the pool of emotions you seemed to be drowning in. To be fair, he was drowning too.

It was midnight, your bodies burned for one another.

“I am.” You uttered those words with such finality, eyes set on him.

This wasn’t some impromptu longing for his physical connection, you had been craving it for as long as the two of you had been separated. To feel him in the purest and most tender way possible, nestled against one another and eliciting feelings no one else could.

The pads of his thumbs rub circles against the fat of your hips. He's looking up at you, his eyes are unable to hide a flicker of yearning and affection. Expressive, his pupils dilated and his eyebrows slightly raised. He blinked slowly, like a cat showing utmost trust to its owner.

He looks at you like he worships you (he does.) Get him on his hands and knees, he’ll mumble your name like you’re his god and he’s praying to you, all his sins out in the open and his scarred body for you to look over and judge. He’ll be vulnerable with you if that means you’ll forgive his wrongdoings and give him a second chance. You must be a merciful god, no doubt about it.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You murmured, cupping his face. His gaze was hypnotic, sending a wave of security down your body. It almost felt as if you traveled to the time before he shattered your heart into pieces of glass.

“Like what?” He couldn’t help it. Not like he had a mirror, anyway. His face was usually tense, brows permanently furrowed and eyes narrowed from being attentive all the fucking time, his lips a straight line, jaw anything but relaxed.

Not right now, though. Never with you. Everything in his body softened and loosened up around you. Well, with the exception of his dick but that was another matter.

“You know what I mean. Like…like you still love me.”

Leon didn’t know what to say. The words died in his throat while every fiber of his being wanted to say ‘I do.’ The same words he could’ve voiced out standing across the altar from you. His brain short-circuited.

His pause came across as ambiguous to you, to mask the pain, you kissed him. Like a chocolate on a hot summer day, he melted in an instant, turning to mush, holding one side of your jaw and matching your pace.

The two of you mingled like two puzzle pieces. Your chest was flush against his, one of your hands finding his hair and pulling on it, earning a drawn out groan from him. It went slow for the first five minutes, some occasional pull backs for breath, shy smiles in betweens, before going back in like the act of kissing was needed for your pulses to continue, your hearts beating as one.

“Mmph.” Your whimper made him shudder, oh how he had missed that noise. His other hand got a bit more confident, resting on the small of your back, moving up towards your ribs then back down, almost resting on your ass.

He felt a surge of heat settle in his groin, aching to give you all the pleasure you deserved, to make you feel cherished and known. To knock any misery out of your head and replace it with euphoric sparks and reassurance. To be one with you again, if you’d have him.

He pulled away from the kiss, his eyes fluttering open. “Bedroom?”

A nod from you was all it took. He didn’t let you get up, instead holding your ass as he stood up, his lips back on yours as he carried you to your bedroom like he owned the place. His mind still had the spatial layout, it worked out and he eventually placed you onto the middle of the bed oh so delicately.

You knew what was coming, already taking your clothes off in a haste as you heard his belt come undone, the sound of his taking his shirt off, and his boots being kicked off.

It wasn’t long until he was on you again.

Leon took his time to look at your body. He was all too familiar with it, knowing exactly where certain beauty marks were, or the places that were sensitive to even the slightest fan of his breath. His fingertips ghosted over your sides, sucking in a sharp inhale as his eyes roamed all over, studying you as if you were his muse and he was about to draw you. “So beautiful…”

His lips had traveled all across you once upon a time. Leon had a great memory, perhaps one of his best features, though also his downfall. At times like these, it comes in handy. It almost seemed like a hazy flashback to the nights he had you splayed on the bed, pressing his lips against your forehead and making it all the way to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

He wanted to mimic the memory. “Need to taste you. Can I?”

“God, yes.” You agreed in a heartbeat, body already feeling all tingly at the anticipation.

He littered open mouthed kisses from the middle of your chest, all the way down to your end of your stomach, making your body ignite with flames and mind flood with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. What day was it? Month? Year? You couldn’t remember, just desperately hoping this wasn’t some realistic feeling dream. You’ve had those too often, and if you woke up without him by your side, you felt like you would die from heartbreak.

He hooked his arms underneath your thighs to pull you close. His fingers dug into your thighs as he took another look at his favorite pretty cunt. He missed this. Missed you. Missed having you grind yourself against his face until he couldn’t breathe. Missed having his heart race from the angelic noises you blessed his ears with.

His nose pressed against your clit, applying light pressure as his tongue lapped at your slit, gathering the dew there. Geez, he really got right into it. Your eyes rolled back, your stomach tensing and your back arching. You could die right now by your (ex) lover’s tongue, what a way to go.

On the occasion that he opened his eyes, he’d look up at you through his light lashes — he swore you looked like an angel from his perspective.

“What is this? Your last meal on death row?” You were joking, but god…he really was making your mind go blank, he knew just all the right buttons to press.

“Oh, so you think I’m a criminal?”

Like always, you reached for his hair, pushing it back and hearing him growl out of contentment. He gave your clit gentle sucks before flattening his tongue against it and flicking it, his head moving side to side, repeating the process again and again.

One thing about Leon? He always found a way to turn you on by being vocal. His noises were muffled and sloppy but you could feel the vibration of all his whimpers and growls against you as he took his time eating you out. He was getting off to pleasuring you, and that fact alone made it so much hotter.

Your thighs were trembling, threatening to close in and squeeze his head. Leon placed one of his hands over your lower abdomen, applying light pressure with his palm and coaxing you into your orgasm.

It didn’t take you long to get there, you hadn’t felt a tongue on you in ages, he was your last.

“Leon, I’m—“

He already knew.

“That’s it, make a mess all over my face.” It sounded like a demand but instead it came across as a pitiful and desperate plea.

How many times had he been in this position? Lying on his stomach, your taste on his tongue, chin dripping with his drool and your wetness, feeling your body trembling…he couldn’t even count how many. But it was enough for him to know your body like no other.

He kept going even after your thighs started squeezing in on him, even with the way you unintentionally tugged at his hair enough to have him rutting against your sheets. He made sure to make your orgasm feel good, lapping at you all throughout until he heard a whine leave your lips and he felt you weakly push his head away — he didn’t want to overstimulate you and hurt you.

He finally took a breath, one that filled his lungs with satisfaction as he propped himself up on his elbows before sitting up. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling his blood pump south with the way you were still composing yourself, your legs twitching all cutely and your torso rising and sinking with each deep breath you attempted to take.

“Do you wanna…” Your eyes flitted down to the prominent tent in his pants, feeling a stirring in your stomach already.

“Do you?”

“Yeah. I mean…only if you want to.”

With his belt already in some corner of the room and his fly down, all that was left was discarding his pants and boxers down. He fished his wallet out and pulled a packet from it before doing so.

You were too distracted eyeing his now exposed dick, gulping. It had been a while. But a certain wrapper noise caught your attention. A condom. You had always been careful with him in the past, but you wanted him inside him without any barriers. To feel him entirely, his skin against your insides.

“Don’t, please?”

“But–“

“I need to feel you, Leon.”

“Already being a bad influence on me? What am I gonna do with you?” His jest was met with your roll of eyes, but the corners of your eyes crinkled, happy he was already comfortable enough to bicker a bit.

He pet your head, gazing fondly at you as he awaited your response.

“I just want to feel you as close as possible. I don't know how to explain it. You can pull out at the end…I dunno.”

You didn’t need to explain further, because he felt the same. He kissed your forehead, whispering “okay.”

Getting in between you and in position for missionary, he continued peppering kisses all over your face. He couldn’t hold back, he had so much to make up for, he owed you at least a thousand more. He pushed into you, a breathy moan leaving his lips, it felt like he had just entered the pearly gates. And the way your jaw hung open in a silent gasp told him you felt the same.

“You alright?”

“Mhm, keep going.”

“God, I missed you…” His thrusts made the bed creak, adding to the assortment of sounds of two bodies joined as one: skin against skin, high pitched gasps and occasional throaty groans, nails scratching against Leon’s back and leaving red marks in their wake, a subtle noise, but there nonetheless.

“Yeah? How much?”

“Too much. Could never get you outta my mind.” He admitted, burying his head against your neck to leave open-mouthed kisses all over, smiling when he felt you squirming. “Dreamt about you every night. Every…every morning I woke up, I thought you’d still be by my side.”

His response knocked the breath out of you, God if you could have him closer than physically possible, you would. This was the closest you’d be though, his tip hitting your g-spot, his body flush against yours, it was just the two of you in this never ending universe.

“Leon…Leon…fuck.” You called for him like you needed him to prevent you from crumbling.

He pinned one of your hands to the side of your head and laced his fingers between yours, his head remaining against your other side, raspy grunts and incoherent praises rumbling against your ear. He gently bit your earlobe, tugging at it and sending a shiver down your spine.

Despite all his self doubts, Leon knew how to love, how to send another person to cloud nine and make their head fuzzy with sheer euphoria. He wasn’t fucking you, he was loving you, there’s a clear difference.

His lips trailed to your jawline, eventually reaching your lips and initiating an uncoordinated make out session, the sound of dazed out whimpers and quiet growls mixing together perfectly.

He was getting there, his pace more erratic than before, his hand squeezing yours tightly. “You’re so pretty.” He mumbled against your lips, speaking in between rushed pecks. “Prettiest girl in the world.”

You managed to smile at that. “Yeah? Well you’re the prettiest boy in the world.”

You could’ve said handsome. Or hot. Or cute. But Leon was pretty, that was always the first thing that came to your mind. He was like a model, surely some agency would have tried to recruit him if he were actually in broad daylight more.

“Mm.” He liked the compliment. No more words were exchanged after that, he was focused on feeling you. Feeling the way you took all of him like it was nothing, clearly the two of you were physically made for one another.

There was no going back from this, Leon couldn’t bear the thought of getting a taste of happiness yet again and then falling back into a hopeless pit. He wouldn’t push you away again.

You were already sensitive from the way he had made you cum on his face earlier. You pulled away from his kisses, your head thrashing side to side against the pillow instead, your hips desperately bucking to meet his.

“Leon…”

“Just let go for me, you can do it.”

Moans ripped from your throat, your nails leaving crescent indents on his skin as your body writhed underneath him. Leon couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you came, his own stomach feeling tighter and tighter until he followed suit.

“I love you.” He let it slip at the very end, his mind too dazed and his emotions for you running at full blast. You would’ve replied if not for the way you were in awe, watching the way his eyebrows furrowed, his head tilted back, his mouth let out the raspiest grunts as he pulled out and came. Fuck, he couldn’t be real.

It was only then that Leon’s head cleared. He felt his heart sink to his stomach, had he said something wrong? The moment died down, he felt uncertain about how you’d react. Regardless, Leon took a moment to admire you in your flushed state before leaning down to kiss your head, then lying down beside you and pulling you to his side.

You were all dazed with his confession lingering in your head.

He still loved you. Maybe it was obvious, but hearing it aloud was a completely different feeling.

All the suppressed emotions between the two of you were being put on the spotlight. Your eyes brimmed with unshed tears, you tried to blink them away, but you failed.

Leon wished your eyes hadn’t gotten glossy and that your lips hadn’t tugged into a small frown. It made his heart physically ache. Heavy hearted, that’s what he felt like, swallowing to try to alleviate just how sore his throat felt all of a sudden. Guilt bubbled in his stomach because he knew he was the source of your tears.

He kissed away your tears, welcoming the salty taste of them.

He couldn’t tell you not to cry, he wasn’t in the position to. All he could do was reassure you instead, curling his hand into a fist before rubbing soothing circles onto your back as he watched you curl against him.

“Hey…”

“Sorry. I didn't mean to start crying. I just…you still love me? Did you mean that?”

“It’s okay. Just let it out, I'm here for you.” He had your head tucked underneath his chin. “And yeah…I never stopped.”

“I love you too.”

He wasn’t leaving this time.

Maybe that ring he held onto would find its true owner soon.

You, his sweet girl.

[ceilidho]

So the bear shifter Price has awakened something in me. Thank you, hopefully I dream of it tonight!

I haven’t yet but here’s hoping :((

it would be even better if you were aware of Price before the whole “dragging you into the den mid hibernation” thing, like maybe you both live in the same small town and you worked at the grocers as a cashier.

You know Price as the gruff, taciturn park ranger that comes in once a week to load up on steak, cold cuts and fresh produce, but he’s always fresh off work, a little rough around the edges and not quite fit for human interaction just yet. So he just grunts and nods when you tell him his total, towers over you and never really makes much eye contact. He’s always made you feel nervous, like a schoolgirl with her first crush, but it’s a safe kind of crush. The kind that feels fun to indulge in because there’s no possibility of reciprocation, like you can just ogle him and pine over him without having to worry about what you’d do if he felt the same way.

And then it’s mid January and you’re trudging home alone after your shift and you cut through the forest because you missed the last bus and you don’t want to spend an hour walking home and that’s when a sleepy, gruff Price wrests you into his humid, cozy den fitted with fur throws and blankets. In between the bitten off, incomprehensible growls that sound more animal than human, you hear him say something about smelling you, about needing to feed you - says you’re too small for the winter months, won’t be good for the cubs.

Something about the humidity of the den makes you suddenly so tired, boneless, pliable when he goes to move you, when Price curves himself around you in the furs and reaches down to slide a hand between your thighs. Grunts when he finds you wet and wanting, sinking a couple fingers in and palming your clit. He doesn’t talk much still, but he says good girl when he cants your hips and slowly stretches you out on his cock. Feeds it into you achingly slow, like molasses. Like nothings due for another few months, so why rush it? He’ll take his time so you’re nice and happy and sweet come spring for cubs.

[eyesteeth]

yknow christmas may not exist in tsv but i think santa would fit right in

he’s absolutely corporate enough. a smiling face you see everywhere for the season. buy some products. maybe it’ll appease him.

he’s an elderly, jolly figure, not scary like those unauthorized gods. and if people believed hard enough, there might be a town of equally jolly elves up there at the north pole. wouldn’t that be lovely?

if you’re good, he’ll leave a gift. if you’re bad, well. a god must feed. and he sees you when you’re sleeping. he knows when you’re awake. he knows if you’ve been bad or good. so be good, for goodness’ sake.

he can get in your house through the chimney despite his size. he can get to EVERY house within 12 hours. that’s god powers baby

populous morality control AND recognizable seasonal branding in one. snow comes down and you start thinking about him, the Jolly Man In Red. and sure you may not believe. but when he’s in every advertisement, do you want to risk the possibility of literally being raked across the coals for the season? didn’t think so. so be a good little worker for your sake.

mall santas could be saints. get your flesh warped and mind twisted until you’re identical to every other santa in every other store. put your kid on his lap. he’ll send the wish to the big man via the Mall Santa Hivemind. he promises he will, with his too-rosy cheeks and his too-glittery eyes. and little ones remember: you better watch out! you better not cry!!

the one downside from an exec standpoint is that he’s only active for two months. you get a week into january and he’s not relevant anymore. he gets a brief mass recollection halfway through the year, and maybe a couple kids go missing as a result, but he’s underground, perhaps literally, for the rest of the year. he’s hibernating. he’ll be back next year to spread holiday cheer.

[sleepyhead-poll]

WELCOME TO THE SLEEPYHEAD CHARACTER POLL!

Submissions are open until January 15th 2024! (Edit: Submissions closed early on the 7th!)

Rules for submissions:

Submit a character from any piece of media who is sleepy! Being sleepy has to be a character trait. It doesn't have to be their main character trait, but it does a reoccurring one (not just a one-off trait in one episode)!

Being tired or "lazy" doesn't inherently make a character sleepy! A character being overworked or a character not wanting to work/trying to get out of doing tasks does not inherently make them qualify. To be sleepy, they must want to be asleep and might often be seem dowsing off. Sleepyhead behavior. Naptime is one of their favorite times. It's in their personality and characterization. That doesn't mean they can't ADDITIONALLY be overworked, tired, or "lazy", it's just not the only thing.

No character who are comatose / in "hibernation" / in a deep sleep. This includes Sleeping Beauty (she's not really a "sleepy" character, she's forced asleep; though if it's a adaptation of her character where she's a sleepyhead that counts).

No insomniac characters. This falls more into a tired character that isn't quite a sleepyhead.

No real people. That includes submitting yourself or your pet, as tempting as it is.

No fanon interpretations/fan characters/OCs/etc.

I reserve the right to reject character if they are from offensive media.

Be respectful! Most sleepy characters are lighthearted in nature, but real people with real chronic fatigue & illnesses do exist. So no referring to characters' sleepy behaviors as being "useless" or anything like that. Just be decent.

No character automatically gets in, so feel free to submit anyone!

I am aiming for a 64 single-elimination bracket, but depending on the volume of submissions, I will make the bracket smaller or larger.

@tournament-announcer @magical-mascot-smackdown @yen-sids-tournament @roboswagbracket @princess-polls @vocaloidsongpoll

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey Raven! Hope you're doing well, and I hope you had a great holiday, if you celebrate, that is.

I hate to clutter your ask box with something like this, and you don’t have to answer, you can just read this with an open mind, but I feel you're the only one I could go to with this without being straight-up attacked. It's also why I'm asking anonymously.

But, what's your stance on the whole war between the JP and EN versions of the game? I'm not asking you to pick a side or anything, I just wanna know your thoughts.

Obviously, I'm an EN player, and idk if you seen, but there's some hateful things out there about us, and honestly, it's hurtful and disheartening to every time I get up here. And it's always on this we as players can't control. Mainly the dialog translations and it's changes.

I've seen people calling us dumb and weak, saying we water down everything because we can't take it, etc. I've seen people saying we don't know how to really correctly and analyze characters and that we're not even playing the same game. They say we've ruined the game, the fandom, and that they wished it was never localized. I've also seen quite horrible things, but I don’t wanna repeat the things said, but yeah.

And the kicker is, it's only the JP side I've seen post this stuff. I've seen more hate come from that side more than anything, and of course not all, like you. You're my fave btw.

So yeah, thoughts?

Hello, hello! ^^ I’m not really a super big celebration person but I’m hunkering down for a cozy hibernation this winter ❄️ I hope everyone had/will have a good 2023 holiday season~

Before I provide my response to the question posed in this ask, I want to make sure we're all on the same page for this discussion first:

Please be advised that my perspective is coming from that of someone who started off playing JP in March 2020 and then picked up EN when it came out in January 2022. I have played on both servers since their initial launches.

When I refer to TWST JP and EN fans in this post, I am only referring to the English speaking fans (as in, English speaking fans who play JP and English speaking fans who play EN).

For the sake of simplicity, I will be disregarding “hybrid” fans (English speaking fans who play both JP and EN) as a separate category and will lump them in with “JP” fans (English speaking fans who play JP). This is because I assume most mixed fans started off with JP and then adopted EN later on.

I am not talking about ALL English-speaking JP and/or EN fans here; I am only talking about the ones Anon described in their ask.

As the Anon said, I ask that you go into this post with an open mind; do not assume that I will bash JP and/or EN, take sides, defend or condone toxic attitudes, or that this post exists just to “stir the pot”. That is not the purpose of my response. The purpose is to have a meaningful and constructive discussion about TWST’s fandom culture, particularly as it pertains to English-speaking fans. I hope that in talking about this, we can better understand “the other side” (however you may personally define that) and work toward making the fandom space more welcoming for all.

Please read the entire post and think about your own choice of words before commenting and/or sending in an ask about this topic, should you choose to.

To the Anon that submitted this ask and to anyone else that plays EN and may have had similar thoughts: I’m sorry to hear about the negative experiences you’ve had in the TWST fandom. I hope that this post brings you some peace of mind, if not at least some catharsis for what you may be feeling.

Firstly, it’s important to understand the mindset of both JP and EN fans. As such, I will delve into the background and the development of each side. It is NOT meant to justify either side, but rather to inform you on how each perspective originated and grew to what it is today.

The animosity and opposition to an official English version of TWST has been present for a while. An English version of TWST has always been contentious, even long before the localization was announced. Some wanted it to happen for accessibility reasons (as some people find it tedious to hunt for translations) or were supportive of the idea because it means a larger fanbase and thus more potential to make friends or to discuss the game. Others were more apprehensive of the quality of a localization (as much tends to be cut or censored to make the content more palatable) and/or claimed that expanding the fanbase in such a way would bring in more “bad apples”.

When EN first came out, it did, in fact, expand the fanbase. However, many were quick to notice the many (and I do mean many) errors and short sightings present in it: frequent spelling and grammar mistakes in the game and on official social media posts, inconsistent phrasing, incorrect translations, game-breaking glitches, frequent censorship, half-hearted promotions, etc. EN also became infamous for its absolutely brutal pacing of content in the early days, particularly related to the limited story event schedules (including back-to-back Halloween events). This, in combination with EN’s constant pushing of paid gems (which occurs far more frequently than in the JP server) has left a bad taste in JP fans’ mouths. To them, TWST EN did not make a good first impression and continued to misstep again and again. This is especially true of the many dialogue changes to make the TWST localization more “culturally appropriate” (which is the definition of what a localization is; there is a reason why TWST is not called a translation, which would be a more accurate/“faithful” or direct translation of the dialogue).

The claim that “EN fans are weak/can’t handle the real story” likely arises from how EN has removed or altered details which may offend western audiences. This includes things like the term “master”, the mention of Azul’s weight, Kalim’s “30-40” siblings, etc. These are conscious decisions made on the part of the game localizers to make TWST more broadly appealing and appropriate for a western audience, where such topics are contentious or considered taboo. This is adapting TWST to a new culture so that it can (in a dry business sense) perform well. However, I also want to mention that some cultural changes EN made do significantly alter the story/characters (such as Jamil no longer stating his family will be on the streets if they defy the Asims; in EN he only says his parents will be mad at him), particularly if you are viewing through an EN-only lens. Unfortunately 😔 as much as I can point the nuances of localization out, there will always be fans who still oppose any sort of censorship. This is also true of the anime and manga community in general, and this post isn’t large enough in scope to tackle those issues. I only mention this here to help you, the reader, better understand the changes from Disney/Aniplex.

A lot of the original negative feelings that were there before EN was announced were then confirmed by the official release, and this strengthened the dislike of EN on the part of JP fans. These JP fans may then become hostile toward EN fans who defend the localization (whether or not they have the context of TWST JP) because, in the eyes of the JP fans, the localization is not as good as it could be. Ultimately, it seems like their intense feelings stem from passion for what they love and not wishing to see it “desecrated” rather than an actual hatred of fellow fans. JP fans are upset because they fear EN fans are not getting the full scope of the characters and a story they enjoy, and they want others to appreciate those aspects of TWST as well.

Of course 💦 the fact is that EN fans are not responsible for the localization. But EN is there and that is what is the easiest and the most time efficient for English-speaking audiences, so most people will go with that rather than alternatives (ie hunting down fan translations). The issue is that some JP fans conflate simply consuming the localization as being bad or the “wrong” thing to do, and thus, by proxy, extend this frustration to EN fans themselves (especially those those are EN only and have zero prior knowledge of JP) and not just the product. Again, this is because they tend to see JP as the “full” version, without the changes or censorship present in EN. This inevitably leads to discrepancies in understanding between JP and EN, whether due to staggered release of new content or how the characters are presented differently between the two servers. To those who say “the versions are basically the same except for minor changes”, I disagree. There are several dialogue changes that appear small in isolation, but because TWST’s narrative is told primarily via dialogue, those “small” changes are actually very large and can drastically modify how one perceives a character or situation without explicit knowledge of JP to balance it out. When Jamil is made an “employee” rather than a “servant” and worries about his parents being mad at him instead of his entire family literally being on the streets for defying the Asims, it takes away the bite from his motivations. When Cater inserts a #WOW that wasn’t there in JP while Riddle is breaking down sobbing, or makes him come off as far more insensitive than emotionally aware. These are just a few examples, but they are very prominent ones that can change how an EN only fan sees things. The idea that “we aren’t even playing the same game” can ring true to some JP players because of this.

It cannot be helped that EN fans would interpret the characters and stories differently when the localization is their only or primary source of TWST content. Not everyone has the time or the desire to look for more accurate fan translations (not all fan translations are the same quality), as some JP fans have suggested. If EN fans want to, that’s great! It’s nice to expand one’s knowledge and to be cognizant of the changes between the versions. There are many blogs out there dedicated to educating people on these matters, and many EN and JP fans alike flocking there to be informed. But that level of engagement shouldn’t be demanded of anyone. To deem those that don’t engage in “further research” as “lazy”, “dumb”, or a “fake fan” is not acceptable, not in the name of love or otherwise. The expectation to “do homework” only puts pressure on EN fans to be a certain way or else be rejected by the fandom, and that only breeds more hatred and negativity. It makes EN fans feel “not worthy” of being a fan unless they study up, when the truth of the matter is that no matter how much we like TWST, it’s… media at the end of the day. People are free to consume their choice of media however they like, and that includes casually or at their own pace. It’s not fun to be in a fandom where others are breathing down your neck and policing everything you do, especially since these spaces are meant to be a temporary escape from reality. If JP fans meant to gatekeep in an effort to make others recognize the “real” greatness of TWST, then it’s failing because this kind of attitude only serves to drive new fans away.

Among EN fans, there is this idea that “JP fans are stuck-up”. I can understand where this thinking comes from, as I have witnessed hatred for EN myself which comes unprompted and has killed many conversations. Admittedly, some points are geared toward the company themselves (and those are valid), such as rushed and/or inaccurate translations or the pushing of paid gems, but I’ve also seen my fair share of nastier, invalid comments directed at EN fans. There are JP fans who actively hope that EN will shut down or who outright dismiss EN fans because of the version they play, thinking of their thoughts and opinions as “lesser” or doubting their media literacy skills. It’s true that this behavior is out there in the fandom, and that is unfortunately a sad reality.

That being said, JP on EN hate is not the only form I see, and nor is it the majority. It goes both ways (and I would say about equally for all, although this is just based on anecdotes and not objective data). There is plenty of JP on JP hate (particularly when someone spreads mistranslations around as though it were the truth) and EN on EN hate (arguments over what is and is not appropriate to ship, differences in headcanons, harassing fans that fall outside an “acceptable” age range, etc). There is also EN on JP hate which feeds into a dangerous back-and-forth with JP on EN hate. I briefly mentioned before that EN fans tend to believe JP fans are elitist, and this leads to assumptions being made about anyone that critiques EN and sometimes lashing out about it. I myself have previously been accused of “hating” EN because I often make posts commenting on the changes made between EN and JP (which ones I think work and which I think don’t). This preemptively defensive behavior drives another wedge between JP and EN fans, making JP fans reluctant to engage with EN fans, which then fuels the belief that JP fans think they’re “better” than EN fans (when really, some JP fans may be intentionally distancing themselves for their own wellbeing). Additionally, a lot of behavior deemed more acceptable in western oriented fandom spaces (such as moral justifications, taking pictures without crediting, callouts of other fans, and incorrect use of fandom tags) are not so for JP spaces (or those familiar with JP spaces). There have also been times when EN fans harass the actual Japanese-speaking side of the fandom (be it Japanese fans or the devs themselves) and demand (not ask, but demand) content that caters to them or free translations of fan comics they make. When EN fans fail to observe such “basic fandom etiquette”, it leads to JP fans thinking them rude or entitled, which makes JP fans reluctant to interact with EN fans and, again, feeds into confirmation bias. It’s a viscous system.

What is “ruining” the fandom is not just one side. There has always been turmoil present in fandom spaces. It just appears more visible now that TWST’s popularity has grown to this scale. Right now, both sides (JP and EN) are antagonizing each other because of a loud minority that’s attacking the other side. That minority then gets extrapolated and assumed to be behavior of the entirety of the other side, and that is what keeps the hate going.

If I’m being entirely honest 😔 I don’t think these tensions will realistically ever die out; the fandom is too large to “stomp out” what has already been established in its culture. When both sides are fueled by something so strong—a passion for TWST—it’s hard to seek out and/or to consider alternative perspectives. We become fixated on their own negative experiences and fail to think about where the “others” maybe be coming from, and then close ourselves off from discussion. That promotes isolation and contempt rather than friendliness and cooperation.

If we want change, then it starts at an individual level and in smaller TWST communities. We shouldn’t assume the worst of “JP” or “EN” fans; we are all TWST fans. Let’s keep open-minded and welcome other fans and their diverse schools of thought. And if you don’t feel comfortable with that, that’s also fine! You’re allow to keep a distance and curate your online space as you like; just please don’t go out of your way to disparage others, you have your own lane and others have theirs. Don’t encroach on other lanes.

Maybe we don’t necessarily agree with each other or we think may hold different opinions—but that’s good, isn’t it? The freedom of thought and the open exchange of ideas promotes flexible thinking and can lead you to see things from a new angle, or perhaps develop a new idea of your own. If we all thought the same way, then life becomes boring or it can cultivate an “us versus them” narrative that sparks online wars.

Let me put it this way to close off the post: isn’t this the message that Twisted Wonderland itself is trying to teach us? The true value of attending Night Raven College isn’t just about receiving a good education. Countless times it has been stressed to us (and often by Lilia, the oldest and wisest of the core cast, someone who used to be resistant to opening up to outsiders) that it is vital to understand other people in spite of how different we may be. Let’s take a page out of the students’ book and try to live up to that ^^

[coolnonsenseworld]

Northern Lights 🌌

All pieces in the Calendar, (which you can pre-order right now in the shops), are inspired by DanceAU. DanceAU is the sappiest fluffiest story I ever started and I planned these pieces to be their Bucket List kind of year. A challenge of self care and growth per month so to speak.

I did not finish DanceAU. If I did, it’d probably have an actual name, instead of being “DanceAU”☠️ so if you want to see fragments and pieces for it, they are only available in the PDFs with Patreon content (also available in the shop), as of this day. I do want to finish it though and I'm making time for it, but being unfinished, won't stop me from making post-plot stories, even if I can’t call them canon per se - just an imaginary year they could go through, and to inspire your own year to be joyful each month!

January's goal was supposed to be more of Lance's wish - Keith isn't much into cold. He loses heat quickly and likes wearing big hoodies even in the slightest draft. But it's not like he hates it completely, in fact, it gets him warm cuddles whenever he asks for them, cups of warm tea and cocoa, and sometimes the chill can be pleasant too if there is nothing else to do - so he'd agree to a trip up north, to taste a little bit of wintery life. Cold still makes him feel like it's hibernation time, but Lance's upbeat humor about the smallest things (spying on birds which came to the feeder, staring at the snow like it's curing his depression, helping random people push their car out of the snowbank) and fascination with freezing his ass off to see Northern Lights - would make him consider this time well spent.

[wangmiao]

a little update on tencent's dashi spinoff show & the dark forest

dashi spinoff

in an event held on april 13th, director yang lei talked about the dashi spinoff (refer to the link for plot summary if you missed it). one major thing that fans can finally stop worrying about is that zhang luyi will play wang miao for sure. the concern was not unfounded because it's not that uncommon for cdramas to switch actors. and back when the spinoff was first announced last summer, yu hewei was the only actor confirmed officially. but i mean, what's even the point of the spinoff if they don't bring back the original shiwang?! nope, they have no other choice!

yang lei said the idea of the spinoff is to fill the gap between the first and second book. and that's roughly the time between 2007 to 2009. it will continue the realistic style of three-body with added scifi elements. he also said that the hibernation facility would be introduced in the spinoff. i don't know if there'd be the talk about hibernation between shi qiang and wang miao, but i know the two of them will deal with shi qiang's health issues, and it's not going to be easy.

lastly in the info sheet from january, the filming of the spinoff is set in september 2024, but yang lei said that they were not sure yet. it's likely that they'll start the shooting in 2025.

the dark forest

since i've seen people asking about the dark forest season in the tags, i just want to say that it's not going to happen soon. in an interview in february, yang lei said they were still working on the script, and in march, he said the shooting would likely happen in 2025.

given the new info on the spinoff show. ideally, if they shoot the spinoff in early 2025 and the dark forest in the rest of 2025, the spinoff might have a chance to air in 2026 since it only has 12 episodes. and it's definitely going to take much longer for the dark forest to air. but given how big the project is and how difficult the shooting will be, it's all worth the wait.

[bfpnola]

you-- you've done all this?? for EIGHT YEARS???? and you're only 20?

(this is surprised admiration btw) also did you say you have children too?

hi hi. yes, i just turned 20 on january 7th 🫂 i started this nonprofit when i was 12 years old, pretty much on my own since day one.

as for children, not literal biological kids! /lighthearted. most of the youth that have volunteered for BFP are not only younger than me (we’re run mainly by high schoolers and middle schoolers, a sprinkle of university students) but often don’t have strong systems of social support, so in many ways BFP, and more specifically i have become their main safe space. i am my children’s home. and in more ways than one, i have been their mother more than their own legal/biological guardians :( if i could, i would take literally all of them in, and i am intent on giving them everything i have, even as this nonprofit goes into hibernation and in all technical terms is shutting down. financially, emotionally, physically, all of it. i would give them the world in tenfold if i could. and i am just upset about the way things have turned out. i want so much more for them, so desperately, you just don’t know.

— reaux (she/they)

[jmdbjk]

This is literally my brain when it starts overanalyzing:

Anyone else like that? My brain won't stop thinking about Jikook in February-March. It has decided to go into overdrive on the Jikook chronology of those two months and the only way to appease it is to obsessively obsess.

Let's review: back when Cedric Murac of Calvin Klein posted on his Instagram story that he was on his way to Seoul on January 29, we all got excited, and then what?... crickets.... Then we had the audacity to be angry at Calvin Klein for using Army for clout hahahahahaha. We didn't know!! Who turned out to be the clowns? We were skeptical up until the first images dropped of Kookie's bare abs.

We have no idea exactly when the CK ads were photographed but the one big clue we have is JK's hair. Jungkook emerged from deep hibernation at the beginning of February. His hair was long, long on Feb. 3 and a week later on Feb. 11, he had bangs and it had a lot of waves in it when he was working out at Coach Tommy's gym. Much like the way his hair looks in the CK photos.

We saw JK on Feb. 27 and his hair was long in the back.

Not relevant but, in a way, also relevant: on February 28, Jungkook deletes his Instagram account. We are shooketh. At that moment I thought for sure there will be no ambassadorships for him, the whole point of having a large social media following is to harness those followers and turn them into cash money.

Ok back to the task at hand: We saw both Jimin and Jungkook on March 3 and JK's hair still looked long in the back. By March 14, JK had cut some of the length off the back.

My brain also wondering: when did JK's visit to Jimin's rehearsal happen? between Feb. 3 and March 13 when Jimin left Seoul to go to NYC to tape the Jimmy Fallon show? Or that week AFTER when he was rehearsing for the Korean television music shows? That would have been the week of March 20-27? The car live where he told JK it was ok that he didn't come to one of the pre-recordings was on March 28.

[Regardless, that's a quick turnaround for a Bangtan Bomb.]

My brain on a tangent: what is JK doing there at work to begin with? During this Bangtan Bomb he was already decked out in a CK ball cap and CK denims and not dressed for a workout or rehearsal. Who knows, maybe he was there for his own meetings, fittings, reviewing photos, or other activity. Yelling at my brain to FOCUS on the topics already being discussed!

March 15, Jungkook posts his ramen recipe on Weverse and he and Jimin proceed to have a back and forth convo with Jimin who says he needs to head to JK's house when he gets back to Korea.

March 19, Jimin returns to Seoul from New York after his Tonight Show filming and his feature video for Vogue magazine.

Mar. 23 at 3:06 a.m. Jungkook wants a midnight tuna/chicken goulash snack.

The next night, Mar. 24 at 12:58 a.m., Jimin does a Weverse live in the car on the way home following Music Bank taping.

On Mar. 26 at 9:39 p.m., Jimin does another live in the car following MCountdown taping.

On Mar. 27 at 2:53 a.m., Jungkook sits down with us to watch Suchwita with Jimin, a Jimin MV, a fan-made Jimin compilation video and more Jimin, Jimin, Jimin.

The Calvin Klein campaign dropped on March 28 at 6:30 a.m. after being teased 24 hours prior. That would have been 8:30 p.m. KST.

Mar. 28 Jimin starts a live at 6:00 p.m. in the car (heading east by the way... my brain geez) after Inkigayo recording and Jungkook jumps in the comments. He had seen Jungkook's Calvin Klein teaser images by then.

Confused yet?

Me? I'm a visual person so I had to do this to see how it all played out:

On April 3 at 3:30 a.m., Jimin comes on live to receive our love over his history making #1 BBHot100 achievement.

Jimin is still working. He is not sitting at home. There is something in the works, we just don't know what yet.

Jungkook is probably about to be on his way home because we suspect Hobi's induction day is this week [sobs]. Time rolls on and waits for no one.

ANYWAY!

I hope you were entertained. We still don't know when that Calvin Klein photoshoot was or when JK visited Jimin's rehearsal, but now you have a visual calendar where you can see the possibilities.

You're welcome. [finally slams that door in my brain.]

[iamthecomet]

The long dark days of January are really digging their teeth in right now. Sorry if I am less responsive/vaugely MIA/slower to answer things. It's not you. And I promise I am fine, genuinely, and will continue to be fine. I am just exhausted and all I want to do is sleep and craft and listen to murder podcasts and not think. It's hibernation days. Maybe I'll be back to normal by Wednesday when I finally have a day off (last week was also the busiest week I've had in months), maybe not. But just didn't want anyone with unanswered messages or asks (current and future) to think I didn't want to answer. I do I am just so, so tired. I will get to them when the energy returns, I promise.

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

WIP Questionnaire

I was tagged by @writingmoth <3

And I am gonna tag, if you feel like doing it, @sarandipitywrites @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @little-peril-stories and open tag

Rules: Answer as many (or as few) of the questions about your WIP as you can (or want).

Well, I only have one WIP right now (the others are WIHs - in hibernation), so let's go with Sweet Little Lies.

1 What was the first part of your wip that you created?

Chapter 1. Lol. I write chronologically.

2 If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I have no idea. Tempted to throw a dart at a list of my latest dance-related playlist. So far I have answered every music question with Dance Forever Tonight by Peter Hollens.

3 Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

This is a very short piece with 2 main characters, so?? But besides the obvious protagonist couple, I made up a silly little side char named Crystal for one scene, and I love them more than I should, and there is a non zero percent chance I will pick them up for something in the future.

4 What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Listen, I'm gonna cry already if this one can get one fan who doesn't live in my pocket 😭

5 What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Being in the right mindset to actually write it. Chapter 1 took me from November to January, and I wrote the rest of it in February. Sometimes I just can't force it. That, and keeping it as short-ish and having to skip some scenes that didn't fit.

6 Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Nope.

7 How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Mostly on foot, sometimes with a carriage, with a driver and all. Fancy shit.

8 What part of your wip are you working on rn?

The waiting part until I feel ready to do one last editing round, then I need to make an ebook.

9 What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

I know the corner of this hellsite I am in, and I know the incredibly vast audience for straight romance without spilled guts or sex, so uh. I expect the only people outside my pocket will be looking for chars they know from Nuisance.

10 What are your hopes for your wip?

The same hopes as for all my stories. That perhaps someone finds something in there they were looking for.

template under the cut

1 What was the first part of your wip that you created?

2 If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3 Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

4 What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

5 What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

6 Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7 How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8 What part of your wip are you working on rn?

9 What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

10 What are your hopes for your wip?

[how-serene]

❛ did you miss me ? ❜ for bob taylor ? :3

Baby, you're just harder to see than most

Pairing - Bob Taylor x Neutral!Reader

Summary - Bob brings you flowers, once again.

Word Count - 660

Warnings - heavy angst (im serious), mentions of grief and loss, reader is dead, bob is visiting readers grave, mentions of therapy and trauma, no use of y/n

A/N - Im aware this probably is the last thing you wanted, I'm really sorry. (this one's a lil all over the place.)

His shoes crunched beneath the dead leaves, their various shades of brown and orange littering the hill. The grass was no longer vibrant, as usual during the winter months. Dried patches could be spotted, amongst the once lush greenery. January’s frigid air nipped at his pale cheeks, leaving behind a dust of red across his nose.

Bob licked at his chapped lips, denying the urge to gnaw at them. A gust of wind blew past, brushing back his unkempt dark locks. The trees swayed, as leaves fluttered to the ground around him. Overhead, dark gray clouds threatened to swallow the town. 

He tugged at the thin overcoat, wrapping it further around his body. Yet the cold persisted, causing a deep chill to rest in his bones. His hands shook, as they gripped onto a bundle of white Camellia’s wrapped in parchment paper. Last month, he gave you Sunflowers. Something to represent a little warmth. And the month before that, bright Marigolds that stood out like the sun against your gravestone. 

His feet stood in front of it now, the sunflowers gone, having become wilted and thrown out. Birds chirped, speaking to one another of the pale one, returning again. 

‘Poor boy.’ He could imagine them saying. ‘Visiting in this weather.’ 

Bob gently laid the flowers by your grave, allowing the tiny critters of the earth to seek refuge amongst the petals. 

“Did you miss me?” he asked, lips awkwardly quivering to form a smile. 

You, of course, never answered. The one-sided conversations used to hurt, a reminder that the only evidence he had of your voice now was in past memories. 

But even those were starting to fade. 

“I really missed you, too.” He replied, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets.

The grief was once unbearable. It burrowed itself into his chest, like a woodland creature seeking shelter in a tree. He was aware there was something living inside of him, taking up its share of space. It would nibble at his heart, grotesque hot mouth lapping at the veins as it thanked him for “providing during its hibernation.’ 

But he had made a friend of grief long ago, as a young boy. He understood, better than most, grief does not hibernate. It builds tunnels deep within you, hiding in the dark corners. 

Your heart is its bed, where it rests its beastly head for slumber. 

“I’m getting help.” He mentioned, toying with a piece of pocket string. “I have sessions once a week with a therapist.” 

Leaves danced by his feet, being swept away by the wind. He imagined, in some sense, that it was you. Brushing by him, reaching out in acknowledgement. 

The corners of his lips twitched, at the thought. 

“I’m sorry for taking so long to get around to it.” He muttered, staring at the ground. “I’m ready to get better, though.” The grass curled around his shoes, trying to keep him steady. 

The confession felt almost dirty, having admitted it out loud. But it was the truth, dear god, it was the honest truth. 

He wanted to get better, and live, it was almost painful how much he desired it. It was a deep ache, one given to him at birth. Something he knew before grief, before god, before the hell that had swallowed him for years. 

Bob wanted to get better, and live so he could bring you a bundle of Carnations next month. And Dahlias the month after. And Peonies, Orchids, Daffodils. 

A garden would begin to grow around your grave, life cradling death. And when that garden grew, maybe the visits would slow as he would finally find himself at ease. 

Maybe grief would sprout into a beautiful reminder that he had shared a life with you, at one point. 

Until then, he would bring you flowers. The memories would still be painful, but you were in them nonetheless. 

And some small part of him thanked the world for that. 

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Newsweek sums it up: "Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's Hollywood Nightmare Continues" by u/Von_und_zu_

Newsweek sums it up: "Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's Hollywood Nightmare Continues" Newsweek, home of usual sycophant Jack Royston, provides this summary of the current rundown of recent humiliations. https://ift.tt/IvaKJw3 new but its interesting to see Newsweek take a break from the dark side. The author, James Crawford-Smith, is a royal reporter based in London.While the couple's road to releasing content through these deals was by no means smooth, 2023 saw a significant change in the way their Hollywood peers treated them. They became the subject of numerous late night jokes, TV show skits and acerbic comedy takedowns.The main catalyst for this change was the publication of Harry's memoir, Spare, last January, which included anecdotes ripe for spoofing, including information about an experience with frostbite on his penis back in 2011, and how he used Princess Diana's lip cream as a home remedy.***Royal commentator Richard Fitzwilliams told Newsweek the couple appear to be at a career impasse."Several members of the cast of Suits reunited at the Golden Globes to present the cast of Succession with the Best Drama Series Award, Meghan was not among them, yet the Sussexes were the butt of more jokes," he said of the latest development."This began with South Park's 'Worldwide Privacy Tour' in February, which satirized their hypocritical obsession with privacy. Last year, their [popularity] ratings collapsed in the United States."Host of the Globes, Jo Koy, quipped last night that they had been paid millions 'for doing absolutely nothing- and that's just by Netflix!' If they don't want to be recognized as 'losers,' which is the recent view of the Hollywood Reporter, it's surely time the Sussexes actually did something other than continue Harry's charitable activities which he launched prior to his marriage."I suggest that they hibernate in priva-say for a millenium.Edit to add non-archive version: https://ift.tt/cxiagvL post link: https://ift.tt/TiEJXD3 author: Von_und_zu_ submitted: January 08, 2024 at 11:03PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[savage-rhi]

*inhales deeply*

LET'S GET DANGEROUS....

I know I don't owe anyone anything, but I want to be transparent about why I've not been as active lately.

My recent job loss and the discrimination that contributed to said loss had me severely depressed. After coming down a little from survivor/PTSD mode, I needed to take space from everyone and everything. I am starting to feel better, thankfully.

I have been performing odd jobs in my neighborhood so that I am good on cash for bills and housing this month and part of next month. Beyond that, I don't know what to expect.

I am still working on my Ko-Fi shop. This is one of those things I jumped right into thanks to survivor mode, and I didn't account for everything as thoroughly so I'm taking my time with it.

I did speak to a few legal advocates and a couple of lawyers during these past few weeks. Here's the good, bad, and ugly:

Good: Yes, there was illegal discrimination at play. My place of employment didn't handle things the way they should've regarding my excused absences related to disability, and they contributed to emotional duress and screwed over my education prospects.

Bad: I didn't have a paper trail for everything, but I had enough to prove that I did what I was supposed to do on my end when it came to adhering to my place of employments processes. There is sadly nothing that can be done about the third party health insurance company that played a role in screwing me over.

Ugly: Even with the pro-bono stuff that was offered, I'm looking between 20,000-35,000k out of pocket if I wanted to take this to the highest.

Folks...I do not have 20-35k lying around nor the emotional bandwidth to go through a trial/suit. Yes, GoFundMe is an option if I was dead serious on dragging these fuckers dicks through the dirt, but guys, honest to god, I'd rather that 20k-35k go to the following:

Keeping a roof over my head and food on the table until I have stable employment

Ensuring I can afford medical care for my disability, and afford new tests that I'm going to need for long-covid issues

Help me stay in my graduate courses/obtain my therapy licensure

Use it to help out other disabled folks in similar situations

I have closure that I was indeed wronged, that I did everything on my end to the best of my ability, and these dehumanizing assholes aren't going to rob anymore of my energy or time than they already have.

I have appointments to see if covid has fucked up or contributed to anything more serious that hasn't been addressed. I have a secondary PCP now cause of health concerns that have gotten worse. My fibromyalgia flares have been more chaotic since catching covid in January and I'm still figuring out what my new baseline is with that.

Spring Term of my graduate studies started last week, and I'm getting as much as I can done so I have more free time.

I am trying to find motivation to work my fanfics, drabbles, interacting, etc. It's been hard with everything.

My former employer is trying to get out of unemployment benefits and I've been battling that on top of the other stuff.

I need time to rest (like hibernate) and I haven't had the opportunity to do that.

Thank you again to everyone who has checked in on me, asked me how I've been, sent something positive, or donated. I'm sorry I haven't had the hit points to get to everyone individually, but I am trying and I am grateful for the compassion and appreciation.

If you still want to donate before my Ko-Fi shop is up, you can donate at these places:

PayPal: JayRex1463@yahoo.com

Kofi: KitchenRaptorJ

CashApp: $JayRex1463

If you don't have the means, that's a okay. Take care of yourself first.

If you want to send me comfort things (Ardyn Izunia, Higgs Monaghan, Karl Heisenberg, dinosaurs, dragons, etc.) like art, fanfic, etc. my way, that would be wonderful and I am open to that. I'm still open to a friendly hello or check in, just know I won't respond right away.

Now that all is said and done...