#(Technically. That's my excuse for why they're all here at least)

[somegrumpynerd]

Inspired by this art by @transmasckirby

I just love the idea that Ink knows 100% he's in fanart and can't stop casually bringing it up and freaking everyone else out

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine meeting Rob Lucci again on Egghead Island

Warning: Contains spoilers! If you aren't caught up in the Egghead arc and don't want spoilers, don't read.

Rob: [tied up and unconscious on the floor of Vegapunk's lab]

You: [glaring at him from the other side of the room]

Stussy: Oh my, that's quite a scary look. It's almost like you know him.

You: I do know him, or at least I thought I did... A little over two years ago I lived on Water 7 where I worked for an engineering firm, and had a life, and a boyfriend.

Stussy: {looks shocked and points at Rob] Was he your boyfriend?

You: Yup, but I got transferred here shortly before he tried to kill Iceberg, who is my adoptive father. We used to exchange letters, and then one day they just stopped, and then three weeks later I got a letter from Iceberg that explained everything.

Stussy: That must have come as quite a shock.

Kaku: [wakes up] what the? [looks around, before cringing away when he notices you] oh dear.

You: [glares] Is that all you have to say to me?

Kaku: Listen, it was just a job, it wasn't personal.

You: Really? Because trying to murder members of my family feels really personal to me, buddy.

Kaku: [Nods to Robin] Technically, she shot Iceberg.

Robin: I shot him the first time, and I didn't feel I had another choice because you were threatening my friends and I didn't know what to do.

You: The second time was Blueno, and then you and Rob beat Paulie, and then left both Iceburg and Paulie tied up inside a burning building!

Kaku: we did do that, didn't we...

You: not to mention Rob played with my feelings by pretending to be a loving boyfriend.

Kaku: I swear that wasn't pretended Lucci really does love~

Rob: That's enough, Kaku.

You: You can talk! Why am I surprised, everything was a lie, wasn't it?

Rob: .... not everything [looks up at you, clearly pouting that he's being admonished]

You: I don't believe you.

Rob: ... can we discuss this in private, please?

You: no, we can't, I do not want to be alone with the World Noble's attack dog.

Rob: I'm a cat.

You: Excuse me?

Rob: I am a Zoan-type devil fruit user, the Neko Neko no Mi, Model: Leopard, specifically.

You: I don't care, because then you're just plain bad at being a cat.

Rob: Bad at being a cat!

You: yes, because if you knew a damn thing about cats, then you'd know you don't ever actually own a cat, you just live with one. They don't listen, they don't obey, and they most certainly don't respect you. So, I suppose, you were good at being a cat when it came to me, but bad when it comes to the world nobles.

Rob: That's not true...

You: save it, I don't want to hear your excuses.

Rob: [Takes a deep breath] They're not excuses, it's true I got close to you in the first place because of Iceberg, but I grew genuine feelings for you once I got to know you. I know I hurt you, it's why I stopped writing you after what happened in Water 7.

Nami: And because his ego was bruised because our captain whooped his ass.

Kaku: He was also in a coma for like a week afterward.

Rob: I figured by then you would have already had word from Water 7 of what happened, so I didn't want to rub salt into the wounds by trying to stay in your life, and that a clean cut was best for you.

You: [remembering that Iceberg had said he wouldn't be upset with you if you elected to stay with Rob] ... Where is Hattori?

Rob: what?

You: Where is Hattori?

Rob: He flew away when Stussy attacked.

You: I'll go get him...

Rob: [smirks[ thank you, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you again. Although he might not recognize you, you've glowed up since your Water 7 days. [winks]

You: [rolls your eyes] I know single life suits me, so save your smooth talk tough guy, it doesn't work on me [lying].

Rob: uh huh

You: [feels your cheeks heat up as your heart flutters, and you avoid eye contact with Lucci] Whatever, I'll go look for your bloody bird.

Rob: [eagerly watches the door slide shut behind you] It's still there

Stussy: What's still there?

Rob: I believe most people call it, "a spark between us'.

Nami: [dramatically gags]

Kaku: Dude, they always liked Hattori more than you, don't go getting a head of yourself.

Rob: [kicks him] zip it.

Stussy: [sighs] men are so stupid.

Robin: [nods in agreement]

Shaka: [judges in silence]

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[firewasabeast]

prompt: buck finds out tommy was a pow

how'd this get so long? I truly do not know.

They were four months into their relationship when Tommy started clearing out half of his closet for Buck. Others might've thought they were moving too fast, but that didn't matter to them. Buck spent most of his free time at Tommy's place anyway, and his lease was up in a month. There was no way either of them wanted to wait another whole year before living together.

So, on a random Saturday, they decided to do it. Clear the closet so Buck could slowly start moving stuff in.

They had invited Eddie over too, possibly under the false pretense of sitting and watching a game, but they needed someone around that would keep them on task. Or, at least keep them from getting distracted with each other's mouths.

“Can someone please tell me how my life became so dull that this is the most exciting thing I've done this past week?” Eddie asked, seated on the bed and folding up a shirt before placing it into the donation box.

“You really wanna go there?” Buck asked.

“No, I do not.”

“Eddie, I've got an extra pair of boxing gloves in here!” Tommy called out from the back of the closet. “They're new. You want them?”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I've got like three pairs already.”

He came out and tossed the gloves to Eddie, who looked them over briefly. “Thanks, man!”

“Of course.”

Buck headed back into the closet and reached up for an old cardboard box high on the top shelf. As he lifted it, an item fell out and down to the floor. “Oops,” he breathed out, moving the box to one hand as he bent down to pick the item up.

It was service medal. Buck stared at it for a moment, lets his thumb brush over it. He'd done a lot of research on anything and everything military related, but he could not for the life of him remember what this particular medal was for.

He walked out to the bedroom, where Tommy and Eddie were in the middle of discussing how the team who won karaoke trivia last week definitely cheated and should be investigated, and dropped the box onto the bed. “Not sure what all this is,” he said, the box catching Tommy's attention.

“Oh, that's just army stuff,” he replied, sliding the box toward himself and starting to close it back up.

“This fell out of it.” Buck handed over the medal, noting Tommy's pause before he plucked it from his hand. “What's it for?” He could feel Eddie's eyes on him, could sense a tension in the air, but he couldn't figure out why. Tommy had talked to him about his time in the military before, but he'd never mentioned a medal.

“It's a... a Prisoner of War Medal,” he replied, dropping it into the box. He closed the box and plopped it onto the floor directly between the keep and throw away piles.

“Oh. Is it your grandad's?” One day Buck would learn to read the room before speaking, but today was not that day.

“No. Um, no it's not.” Tommy was still turned away from him, his attention now focused on a pile of old CD's they'd already gone through earlier in the day.

Buck took that all too quiet moment to glance over at Eddie, who was shaking his head and silently telling Buck to let it go.

The dots connected, and Buck felt a pain in his chest he hadn't felt since he got struck by lightning. This might've been worse actually, because he didn't technically remember the feeling of being struck by lightning.

“Lunch!” He exclaimed, a bit too brightly, but desperate to move on so he didn't cause unwanted pain. “I should make lunch.”

Buck excused himself from the room and headed into the kitchen, pausing to take a few deep breaths and calm his pounding heart. He could hear the low rumblings of Tommy and Eddie talking in the bedroom, but made no effort to listen to what they were saying.

He knew it wasn't for him to hear anyway.

*****

Twenty-seven hours later, Buck and Eddie were starting a shift. Buck lasted all of half an hour before sitting down across from Eddie on the couch and staring at him as he read a magazine.

“Can I help you with something, Buck?” Eddie asked, keeping his eyes on the magazine.

“You knew about it, didn't you?”

“Knew about what?”

Buck reached over and grabbed the magazine, yanking it from Eddie's lap and tossing it onto the table.

“That could've given me a paper cut!” Eddie whined.

“Eddie, this is serious.”

Eddie sighed. “You know my rule Buck. I don't discuss Tommy's business with you, I don't discuss your business with him. It's how we all live in peace.”

“I'm not asking you to discuss it, I- I'm just asking if you knew.”

There's a pause. Eddie stared at Buck, Buck stared back. They might as well have been having a contest; whoever blinked first won.

Eddie was the one to give in, rolling his eyes at Buck's stubbornness. “Yes, I knew.”

Buck huffed out a humorless laugh. “Great. Great, you know my boyfriend better than I do.”

“Buck, come on-”

“No, it's true! I'm- I'm not being an ass, it's just true. He's never mentioned that to me before. I've asked him all about his military career and I thought he'd told me everything, but i- it turns out he gave me a censored version.”

“It's not like that, Buck,” Eddie replied. “Listen, it was not long after Christopher left, Tommy invited me over for some Muay Thai. I thought he was doing it as a favor, so I could get all my aggression out, but it seemed it was more for him that day. I asked what was up and I guess it was the anniversary of the day he was captured. Don't be mad at him for this, man.”

Buck's face went from concerned to puzzled. “I'm not mad. I- I'm worried. Listen, I'm glad he has you to talk to, and I know I don't... get it like you do, but I'd like to know he trusts me with the tough stuff too. I don't want to move in with a guy who thinks he has to hide part of his life from me.”

“That's not it, Buck. It was literally just a right place right time thing. You had plans with Maddie that day, and apparently it's not something he ever talks about to anyone outside of therapy. It has nothing to do with you.” Eddie spoke the final sentence pointedly, making sure Buck comprehended the words.

Buck nodded. He did understand, and he really wasn't mad.

He hated that Tommy had gone through something so awful. Hated that he'd been going through it alone for all these years, however long it had been.

The worry lingered though.

Because if Tommy didn't tell him this, was there a possibility he'd been telling him revised versions of everything in his life?

Did he really know him at all?

*****

Two days passed before they got to see each other again. Buck was already at Tommy's place, settled into the sofa and reading a book on Egyptology when Tommy got home.

“Hey, hun,” Tommy greeted with a smile. He bent down, one hand on the back of the couch to hold him up, the other hand on Buck's cheek as he leaned in for a kiss.

“Hi,” Buck replied with the soft grin he always got after one of Tommy's kisses. “How was work?”

“Surprisingly calm.”

“Not a bad thing.”

“Not at all,” Tommy agreed.

Buck returned his attention to his book as Tommy sat across from him. His eyes drifted toward the TV but he made no effort to reach for the remote and turn it on.

“Evan?”

“Hm?”

Tommy reached out and held onto the edge of Buck's book. “Can I?”

Buck eyed him, confused, but closed the book and let him take it. Once Tommy had set it on the coffee table, he returned his attention to his boyfriend.

He stared at him, mouth pursed, and each second that ticked by worried Buck a little more.

“Are you-”

“It was 2004,” Tommy started, “I was twenty, in Afghanistan. We were on a recon mission, our chopper got shot down.”

“Tommy, you don't have to...”

His voice trailed off as Tommy held out his hand for Buck to take. Tommy squeezed it, then continued, “It happened so fast, we didn't have much time to think let alone fight back. There were four of us. We all survived the crash somehow, but... anyway, I got shot in the thigh, and all the other guys were shot too. Weirdly, it's the only injury I've gotten that didn't leave a scar. We were blindfolded, had these sacks put over our heads, tied up, and thrown into the back of a truck.”

“My God.” The words slipped out without Buck even realizing. The thought of Tommy, not even old enough to legally drink, going through something like that was horrifying.

“I don't-” Tommy cleared his throat, and Buck could feel his hand starting to get clammy. “We were there for forty-three days. I didn't know that until we were rescued, had no idea when it was day and when it was night.” Tommy shifted, dropping Buck's hand so he could move around and try to get more comfortable. “Evan, I don't talk about it with anyone outside of therapy. Even my therapist doesn't know everything, and I- I just try not to dwell on it.”

Buck nodded. “I understand.”

“And I'm sure you know Eddie knows.”

“I figured it out,” Buck replied simply.

Tommy let out a deep breath, his eyes searching Buck like he was trying to read his mind. “Are you okay?” he asked. “I mean, I know I should have said something.”

“No,” Buck assured him. “No, that's- I'm not mad about it or anything. That's a horrible thing you went through and I completely understand not wanting to get into it.”

Tommy eyed him carefully. "Evan."

Buck let out a groan. “This is gonna sound really stupid.”

“If there's one thing you're not, Evan, it's stupid.”

“I- I'm endlessly grateful you have someone like Eddie you can talk to,” Buck started. “Seriously, I get that you need someone who can understand. Eddie was in the army, he gets it in a way I never will.”

“But?”

Buck pointed at Tommy. “See, this is the stupid part. I did feel jealous, at first. That he knew a part of you that I didn't. And it made me worry that there might be other things I don't know, or pieces of you that you kept hidden from me to protect me, or something?”

“Ev-”

“No, I know that's not true. I had like fifty conversations with myself to get there, but I got there,” he added with a laugh.

“Did he tell you why I told him? Or what I told him?”

“He briefly mentioned a Muay Thai session when I went to him with questions. He's apparently very strict on not being a go-between for us, which is healthy I guess. It wasn't his place to tell me anyway.”

“Right.”

Buck moved closer to Tommy. “I'm not saying it was yours either, Tommy.”

A deep breath, then Tommy continued. “That day- the anniversary, or whatever- is not a great day for me. Usually I work, it keeps me distracted, but I was off and shockingly no one needed me to take their shift. You had made plans with Maddie, and I was... struggling. I invited Eddie over for a sparring session and I got a little, um, intense with it?”

Buck raised an eyebrow in question.

“There was blood.”

“Seriously?!”

Tommy nodded. “Not much. Cut the lip a bit, but he knew something was up and it came out. I didn't even tell him as much as I just told you. All I said was it was it had been twenty years since I'd been shot and captured. He asked how long I was a prisoner for and I told him. That's it. Then he put down the ice pack I'd given him and we went another round.”

Buck truly was endlessly thankful that Tommy and Eddie had each other. “He's a good friend to have.”

“Yeah, he is. Ev, you know things about me, my life, my family, that I've never shared with anyone before. I have never felt so comfortable with anyone; never was able to let my guard down until you. That- This thing, is something I'm still trying to share with myself. It's been twenty years, but I'm working on it.”

Buck nodded. “Take all the time you need. If you ever do need or want to talk about it though, I'm here. Or Eddie, or Bobby, or literally anyone.”

Tugging on Buck's arm to pull him closer, Tommy turned on the couch, resting so his legs were outstretched, parted just enough for Buck to fit between. He was more thankful every day for the extra wide sofa they'd bought so they could cuddle comfortably on it.

Buck curled into him, head resting on Tommy's chest, arms wrapped around his waist.

“I love you,” he muttered into the fabric of Tommy's shirt.

Tommy planted a kiss on top of Buck's head, running his fingers through his hair. “I love you more.”

[zxoaii]

Touch

fem! reader x bodyguard Choso

Summary: After the being sent to attend an event, Y/n and Choso find themselves more caught up with each other.

SMUT

WC: 2k

Wattpad: _Bolter

[ Y/n ]

"You look good in a suit." Choso looks at me while I adjust his tie. "You are stunning. No one is going to notice me with you right next to me." He's always so sweet.

"Thank you."

The elevator door rings out and the doors open. Choso offers me his arm. I take it as we walk into the foyer of the ballroom.

"Good evening." The host draws our attention to him. My bag clicks open as I retrieve the invitation. "He's my plus one." Of course, if he knows who I am he'd know that.

Money and Jujutsu Sorcery don't usually meet but somewhere, they did. I wouldn't say my clan is completely good but we are a force to be reckoned with.

My mother is the current head of the clan and because of my apparent lack of cursed energy, I was assigned a bodyguard.

I've had several throughout my life but this one is my favorite. Choso is a gentleman. He's caring and friendly. Not to mention, he is not bad-looking at all.

He isn't even a Jujutsu Sorcerer. He's a half-curse.

We walk into the crowded ballroom together. I love parties. They're a nightmare for him. He wouldn't ever say it out loud though.

Choso instinctively takes his arm away from me and falls two paces behind me. Technically we're supposed to act like he isn't here.

Still, it saddens me to lose his touch.

"Ms. Y/l/n, you look incredible. The last time I saw you, you were only a teenager. It's been so long!" I'm thrown into a conversation before I can tell Choso he should stand with me.

The night starts to drag on with insignificant conversations one after another. Being polite is exhausting. Especially when it's spent being polite to people who can't help but be self-obsessed.

As soon as I get a chance I excuse myself to go get a drink. I take Choso's arm and lead us to the drink table. "Do you want some?"

Choso shakes his head. Oh well. I take a glass of champagne for myself. It's a shame this is all they choose to serve. Still, it's better than nothing.

"How long have we been here?"

"45 minutes."

I want to spit my drink out. Only 45 minutes? It feels like we've been here for hours. I've been talking for hours. It's impossible.

"Seriously?"

Choso nods and scans the room. "Come on, there's not actually anyone here who's going to do anything to me." He gives me an unsure glance. "How long do we have to stay for?" My feet ache already. It's freezing in here. I would rather be anywhere else and I'd rather it just be him and I.

"You're supposed to stay for an hour and a half at least."

"What if I say I'm sick?"

Choso takes my empty glass from me and returns it to the table. "We came all this way just for this." He reminds me.

He looks so good in his suit. If I could have a picture of him dressed up like this I'd keep it in a locket.

"Y/n!" A voice calls out excitedly from behind me.

I really hate parties.

.  .  .

Choso sits in the front seat of the car as we're driven to our hotel. I can't stop admiring him. My cheeks flush when he looks at me through the rearview.

We hold eye contact until I look away.

The driver eventually stops in front of our hotel and opens my door for me. "Thank you." I step out of the car. Warm humid air wraps itself around my bare skin.

Choso follows behind me as I make my way inside. I can't come up with any valid reasons as to why I'd need to go to his room.

The walk through the lobby, then the elevator ride, and finally the walk to my room are all too short. I don't have enough time to think of something.

I stop at my door to give myself a second to think.

"Are you ok?"

My hand lingers on the doorknob for a moment before falling to my side. "Choso, you should come in with me."

I turn to look at him after I ask. "What?" This is the first time I've seen him so caught off guard. Maybe that's because he usually stands behind me.

"I want you to come in with me."

"We have our own rooms." Despite his now hardened reaction, his cheeks are red with blush. "Ok." I stop pushing and unlock my door.

"Goodni-"

Choso's hand lands on the door to stop it from shutting. He looks down at me from his place in the doorway. I step out of his way and he walks into the room. The door shuts behind him, leaving us in darkness. Some of the city lights illuminate parts of the room.

Just enough so I can see him.

My heart beats heavily in my chest as I reach out to touch him. Choso steps closer to me and allows me to start undoing his tie.

It falls to the floor but my hands remain on his chest. I have to stand on my toes to reach his lips. Choso leans in and meets me in a kiss.

My hands grip his shirt in fistfuls. Our kiss becomes increasingly desperate. My back meets the wall with a thud. One of his hands lands on the wall next to my head. The other finds its way onto my back.

Choso follows my spine with his fingers. He reaches the nape of my neck and takes the zipper of my dress. The straps fall from my shoulders as the zipper is drawn lower and lower.

When the entire thing is unzipped I let it pool around my ankles. Choso lifts me and carries me across the room. He handles me so gently. I'm laid carefully onto the bed.

My heels are slipped off my feet and then tossed across the room. Choso's lips start at my ankles and trail upwards. Each kiss leaves me more and more entranced by his touch.

As his lips meet my thighs he starts to linger longer. My fingers reach out and grab his hair. He continues up to my hips and for a moment I think he might keep going until our lips meet again.

Instead, he hooks my underwear with his fingers and gives himself more access to me. His touch runs hot across my skin as he pulls my underwear down completely.

"Is this ok?"

"You don't have to ask."

My hands encourage his movements. Choso's lips meet my core in a heated kiss. The kiss feels starved like he needs me to live. He shifts my left leg over his shoulder to give himself better access.

"Oh my god..." I sit up, resting on my elbows to look at him. Choso is still completely dressed. Despite how good-looking he is in his suit, I want it off.

"Take your shirt off."

Choso doesn't falter or stop. Instead, he works his jacket off and lets it fall to the floor. He starts working on the buttons down his shirt until he can take that off too.

His back is painted with scars that remind me of where he came from. My eyes are drawn down by his. Choso watches me through lustful hooded eyes.

His tongue presses against my clit causing my legs to bend instinctively. The dim lights from the window draw harsh shadows across his body.

Choso's hair is a mess from my hands. It falls into his face and tickles the inside of my thighs. Still, he deepens his movements.

The graze of his teeth against sensitive flesh causes a gasp. My hips grind against his mouth as he presses his tongue flat against me. Choso lets out a deep moan that vibrates through my body.

Pleasure starts to build up within me overwhelmingly quickly. "Don't stop." My pleas are answered by Choso's quickened kissing.

He moans once more. My eyes fall lower, following his arm. Choso masturbates as he eats me out. "Shit." The sigh drags on with my orgasm.

Choso doesn't stop until I fall back onto the bed. He pulls away breathlessly and fully removed his pants. His toned chest is also littered with scars that only continue to turn me on.

"Can you continue?" He licks his lips and runs his hand along my thigh. "Yes." Choso nods and reaches up to remove my bra. "You're fucking beautiful." His hands run along my body as if to memorize the feeling.

I shift to the edge of the bed, sitting on my knees so I can kiss him. This kiss is soft. Choso's hand carefully holds my chin. I follow him blindly as he sits down on the bed.

We pull away for a moment. Gentle hands guide me onto his lap. Choso holds my back as I fit him inside of me. The pain turns to pleasure within a minute.

Our eyes stay locked as I roll my hips. My nails dig into his back as I move against him. "Y/n." My name comes out as a plead more than a statement.

My desperate movements become quicker at his unsaid request. Choso peppers kisses along my neck and shoulders. He finds a spot and begins to suck on it to leave a mark.

I tilt my head to the side to give him more access. "Ah- Choso!" He bites down on my neck. I don't know if he drew blood or not but his tongue traces the bite mark several times before he moves on.

Choso's hands grip my ass. He guides me vertically in addition to my horizontal movements. Our moans grow louder together as I follow his movement.

"You're so fucking perfect." Choso catches my lips after his comment, only for a moment. He watches me with such loving eyes my heart flutters in my chest.

Has he always looked at me like this?

The buildup of my second orgasm comes along with his. His grip on me tightens, I feel the twitch of his cock inside me, and his head falls forward onto my shoulder.

Choso mumbles words I can't hear over the sound of my own moans. My orgasm washes over me so intensely that my legs twitch at his side.

We hold each other for a minute before I shift off of his lap to lie down. Choso collapses down next to me. My hand finds his, intertwining our fingers.

"You're... Unbelievable."

The smile on my face feels like it might never go away again. "Do you like me, Choso?" I look over at him from my spot.

"Like you? Of course I like you." He meets my eyes for a moment before shyly looking away. "Do you have deeper feelings for me?"

If the lighting was better I think I'd be able to see that bright red blush all across his face. "I do." His eyes search the ceiling for anything to look at other than me.

"I have deeper feelings for you too." I sit up so he can't avoid looking at me. "You do?" I brush his sweaty hair from his face. "Of course." Choso doesn't return my happy grin.

Instead, he sits up and meets my lips in another passionate kiss. My arms lock around his shoulders to hold him closer. I'd stay like this forever if I had the choice.

Choso pauses for a moment then pulls away. He rubs my thigh as his eyes trail along my neck. He stops at the spot I assume he had bitten. My fingers feel across the skin for a moment before finding the mark.

"I'm sorry. You just tasted so good."

"Don't talk."

I lean back in and happily take another kiss from him. The bite mark will be hard to hide, especially since nothing I packed covers my neck.

Still, if he wanted to bite me again he could.

We could do this all over again as many times as he wants.

[destinygoldenstar]

'Jax is an NPC'

Hm... ... ...

No.

It's a good theory, don't get me wrong, I see the evidence, I see where you're coming from.

But it's not a theory I agree with. Let me explain.

Caine's line "But if I start losing track of who's a human and who's an NPC who knows what could happen" is very vague as is. This could mean a whole lot of things.

I said this in another post of one of my own theories. I think it's possible that Caine could've killed a human player and his trauma of that was showing.

We know A.I's can shed traumatic emotions. Look at Gummigoo.

Now, yes, Caine couldn't 100% kill a human. Otherwise he would delete the abstractions. And it seems like human players abstract when they die and that's the only way they CAN die.

So therefore Caine having killed a human player should be thrown out as a possibility.

BUT. Hear me out.

Abstractions are shown to be able to glitch several in game objects because of their abstraction. And we actually do NOT see if all the abstractions look exactly the same as Kaufmo's abstraction.

They could very well not.

Going to biblical text, Caine was the first murderer and received a permanent consequence.

Could a permanent consequence be, idk, failing at your programmed job over and over again and be forced to watch these humans abstract and perish forever?

Especially if because of the human player death's abstraction glitch, is WHY the other human players cannot leave the game!

If you look at Pomni's room in one shot, there's a couple of blocks that are stacked from top to bottom 'ABXEL'.

Could it be that the human player Caine killed was named Abel?

But there is also the other possibility that somehow, there is an NPC among the circus. So let me explain my thought on that possibility.

I don't think it's possible.

I think Caine would've noticed, especially if he immediately recognized GummiGoo wasn't supposed to be there.

If one of the circus folks were an NPC, their figure would've appeared with the others in the backrooms.

Now, there is the possibility that it was placed somewhere else, that place is huge after all. So take that with a grain of salt.

I'm not completely eliminating the 'Jax is an NPC' theory.

I get the evidence. He's constantly breaking the fourth wall. But I think that more so has to do with what I’m about to say.

He has keys to people's rooms. I get that one. That is definitely sus as hell and I'm not denying it is sus.

He also ‘lacks human physics.’

So does everyone else in the cast. Pomni can stretch her body out like Elastagirl. Ragatha has stuffing instead of blood. Kinger has his own glitchy moments. Gangle has two faces. Zoobles body can fall apart.

I’m just saying. These are not human physics either. So Jax being able to keep in place whenever he wants being only a Jax thing is not too far fetched compared to all these other examples.

But I also think, and this is my opinion, that he's much more compelling as a character as a sociopathic human player that is beyond saving and MENTALLY cannot be humanized again.

What I mean by that is that while he is TECHNICALLY a human player, MENTALLY, he is so detached from his humanity and moral code often associated with humanity that he acts more NPC-like as a side effect.

Jax is not designed to be a morally grey character. He is written to be the least moral of the entire show.

It would be SO EASY to excuse those moral wrongdoings as 'well they were never human to begin with'.

But I think that's the lazy way out, and I think this show is smarter than that.

Because here is the thing, there ARE some really REALLY terrible humans. Evil humans in fact.

WHY they're so terrible varies, but that doesn't make them less terrible.

And yes while some terrible people can get redeemed if they themselves can, this is NOT absolute. There are people that are just plain beyond saving. So beyond saving that they ditch their moral code, a code drilled into the human mind, that they SEEM inhuman to humans who can't relate.

This is a very real psychological thing.

With how many morally grey characters get thrown around as compelling these days, Jax NOT being written that way and instead being written as the morally worst would naturally make people go 'he must not be human'.

In psychology, behavior like that doesn't physically inhumanize them, but it MENTALLY does, they behave in a set of rules so different from the normal that it's corrupt to the normal.

So I think he is a human player like the others. But his MENTALITY is not, so he ACTS NPC-like as a side effect to that mental loss.

Not every human is morally grey and get cozy redemption arcs. There are some truly awful people in the world with no redeemable qualities whatsoever. I like that he represents that. I like that there's a character on this show that acts as that huge wake-up call of 'Yeah some people just plain suck and you shouldn't have to deal with them.'

But while I don't think Jax being an NPC would be the best route to take. That is just my opinion and I am not the one writing the show. If that IS the route they are taking, I am fine with that so long as it is written with proper care. I could definitely be reading this wrong.

[etaleah]

Absolutely sucks that your blog is ravaged with proshipping apologia. Like yeah enjoying dark subject matter in fiction doesn't mean you condone it IRL (I myself am an avid gore and kink fan and use that to express my feelings in art) but uhhh there's a difference between depicting pedophilia in a story and actively jacking it to child porn which is what most if not all proshippers are trying to justify.

The Venn diagram between proshippers and anime lolicons is a circle. "Ohhh it's not real" yeah sure technically but that's still very much a child being raped on screen you're getting your rocks off to. Being in the second dimension doesn't negate that.

Most proshippers don't actually care about properly depicting complex subject matter in art. They just wanna write their incest rape South Park fics and call anyone who calls them out on it "puritans." (I doubt any of you really understand what that word means. If not liking child porn makes me a puritan then call me the Virgin fucking Mary.) It's all excuses, excuses.

Fiction affects reality more than you think. It's why propaganda is so effective. It's why Jim Crow and minstrelsy was (and still is tbh) so harmful to African Americans. Why do you think POC care about how they're depicted in media so much? It very much influences thinking, how people see the world.

(There is an argument to be made about the rampant racism in fandom, but that's a whole other conversation.)

Don't dismiss this ask. I want you to read it very carefully and get yourself out of the echo chamber you've put yourself in. Consider the points made at the very least. Use the "critical thinking" you claim to love so much.

I have considered the points you made and read them very carefully, and I have found them incorrect, relying on faulty logic, and full of unverified assumptions and false equivalences. I now bring you a full breakdown of exactly why, though I’m putting it under a cut in case anyone wants to avoid the Discourse™ because this breakdown is a long one.

*cracks knuckles* Here we go!

You clearly have a different definition of “proship” than I do. I and those that I have reblogged or liked (as far as I can tell) are “proship” in the sense that we’re arguing for the freedom to read what you want and write what you want because thoughtcrime isn’t real, no one gets hurt inside your head, and the ability to read and write what we wish is vital to a free society. That’s my definition of “proship,” and if you have a different definition and are determined to stick to it, there’s not much I can do about that. I can only tell you what my definition is so that you know what I’m referring to when I talk about it in this post or reblog posts mentioning it.

If you’re referring to what’s on AO3 (which is what I am mainly concerned with, as I don’t talk about other fanfic sites on my blog), that is not child porn. It’s not. The term child porn refers to sexual photos and videos of real children, not text-only stories about fictional ones. AO3 does not allow users to upload videos nor does it allow users to upload photos except for their profile pictures, and it is literally written into their Terms of Service that they do not allow child pornography on their site. You couldn’t put child porn on AO3 if you tried. Text by itself with no photos or videos accompanying it is not child porn, and that’s true no matter how disgusting and immoral you find it. I don’t support or justify child porn because I don’t support or justify real children being hurt, which is what actual child porn involves and requires.

What I do support is the freedom for everyone to read and write what they want, and I am not going to stop supporting that.

How do you know that the people reading or writing a fic are “getting their rocks off to” or “actively jacking it” to what's in it? Did they tell you? Have you developed telepathic powers and read their minds? How do you know that people “don’t actually care about properly depicting complex subject matter in art?” Don’t dismiss those questions, answer them. You don’t know why someone is reading something and you don’t know why someone is writing something. I have no idea whether the person checking Mein Kampf or Birth of a Nation out of a library is a racist who agrees with everything in both works or a scholar doing research for a paper on racism or just an average joe who wants to see what’s in there for themselves and form their own conclusions, which is a perfectly fine and intellectually healthy thing to want. I don’t know which of these is the case and I’m not going to automatically assume the worst-case scenario, nor am I going to demand that the person checking out those works provide me with an explanation because they don’t owe me one. You don’t know why someone is reading or writing a rape or incest story. Maybe they find it sexy or maybe they’re a victim themselves, working through their trauma by expressing it via the written word. You don’t know which one it is, and they don’t owe you an explanation. I’d advise you not to automatically assume the worst-case scenario either.

Because you know what happens when people assume the worst of an author’s intentions and assume they know what a work is doing? You get situations like Isabel Fall’s and Lindsay Ellis’ where people were sure they knew that the former was being transphobic with her short story and that the latter was trivializing rape with her “rape rap.” They were so sure, as sure as you are in your ask, not a doubt in their minds, didn’t think it was possible for there to be any other reason or interpretation, and so they felt totally justified in harassing those women. I’m sure each of them convinced themselves they were doing this because they were an ally who just cared so much and that those authors deserved the hate they were getting because (gasp!) they wrote something bad and if you write something bad, you should expect to be called out. And then they found out—oops! Turns out Isabel Fall was a trans person and not a cis person being transphobic after all, and was actually writing a story about a subject she had plenty of experience with, and—oops! Turns out Lindsay Ellis was an assault victim herself and she was coping with her trauma in the best way she could because making a lighthearted rap about the subject made it more accessible, easier to deal with, and not as scary and she wasn’t making fun of victims after all. Whoops!

How do you know the people writing these fics you find so horrible aren’t doing something similar to Ellis and Fall? How do you know they aren’t victims working through their grief and trauma in a way that helps them? How do you know you’re not misjudging and assuming the worst of them just like Fall’s and Ellis’ haters misjudged and assumed the worst of them? Don’t dismiss those questions, answer them. How do you know?

Why do you get to be the authority who decides what “properly depicting complex subject matter in art” even looks like? Maybe someone else read it and decided it was properly depicted; why does your opinion and interpretation matter more than theirs? Why is yours the correct one? Don’t dismiss those questions, answer them.

I don’t know what anime lolicon is, so I’m not gonna comment on that, though I will say it disproves your point about the Venn diagram being a circle since I am technically a proshipper and yet I don’t even know what that is. I’m sure if you look hard enough, you can probably find someone using the proship label who has done something bad or supports something bad, but the same can be said about antis. You get assholes in every group. Doesn’t mean everyone in the group is a bad person.

(Also I know this isn’t the most important point here but the fact that you’re more worried about the content of South Park fanfics rather than the South Park show itself says to me that you care more about finding an easy target than about minimizing harm because that show has plenty of racist and anti-Semitic “jokes” in it that are being fed to a much larger audience than any fanfic of it could ever have, yet I don’t see you being worried at all about that. Wonder why.)

(Another less important point but one I’m still going to indulge in: I find your line about “if that makes me a puritan then call me the Virgin Mary” funny in an ironic way because in trying to claim that people don’t know what the word puritan means, you proved that you yourself don’t know what it means by implying that puritan = virgin. Puritan and virgin are not the same thing. Virgin is a state of being that could be voluntary or, if you want sex but can’t find anyone to give it to you, it could be involuntary. One could be a virgin and still be sex-positive just like one could be a religious fundamentalist with ten kids who’s had all the sex required to make those ten kids but still be sex-negative and think that only the straight married baby-making kind is okay and all other kinds are impure and gross. Unlike virginity, puritanism is a mindset, not a state of being, and therefore it is always voluntary. You can be one without being the other. Again, not a super important point, but I thought the irony of that line was funny.)

You do know that Jim Crow was a set of laws and policies set down by the government and enforced by police and courts and not, like…a dirty fanfic or book, right? You do know that? It was and still is a legal framework that’s baked into the justice system and has been the driving force behind everything from mass incarceration to drug policy to redlining and housing to voter disenfranchisement. Bitch, I fucking wish that Jim Crow was nothing more than a bad fanfic or a bad story; that would make it a hell of a lot easier to fight! Acting like any one (fan)fiction writer or any one piece of (fan)fiction has the same amount of power as the fucking US government is some insane false equivalence.

As for the representation argument, you’re misunderstanding what that movement is about and why the founders of it cared about the state of media. We Need Diverse Books and organizations like it did not start their campaigns because they were disgusted by what White writers were doing and wanted to stop them and make sure they could never do it again. They started their campaigns to empower and encourage authors of color. It began when a few Black mothers were looking for books for their kids and realized they couldn’t find any with a Black child on the cover, not because they read something a White person wrote and were so horrified by it that they had to put a stop to it. Being so horrified by something in a story that you have to put a stop to it is what Moms for Liberty does. The goal of the representation matters movement is to diversify the publishing industry since it’s still majority White, to publish more authors of color because most of the authors being published are still White, and to update school curriculums so that students of color can read about and study characters like themselves. All of which are good and reasonable goals. It is not and never was about telling people what they were and were not allowed to write or read, or saying that they’re bad people because of what they write or read.

“Influences thinking” and “affecting reality” are not the same as controlling or determining thinking and reality. If fiction really does affect how people see the real world, then why, in a time when we have more positive books/movies/TV shows/plays of and by POC and positive queer books/movies/TV shows/plays than ever before, are we still dealing with vicious racism and homophobia? If fiction influences thinking and affects reality and how people see the world so much, then why, in a time when we have Drag Queen Story Hour and trans characters are being featured positively in popular TV shows and trans actors are winning awards, are we still dealing with some of the worst transphobia we’ve ever seen? Don’t dismiss those questions, answer them.

Fiction doesn’t make things happen. Playing violent video games doesn’t make a person violent. Reading or writing about an immoral act does not mean you agree with, get off to, or are going to do the immoral act. And that’s true regardless of what the immoral act in question is, whether it's gore or kink or rape or incest.

The problem with “you can read/write what you want except for X because X is gross/morally wrong” is that the bigots and mean-spirited folks of the world will find a way to make anything they don’t like into X. That’s the part antis don’t think about. But we’re already seeing it play out in school board meetings.

“We don’t want to ban Maus because it talks about the Holocaust, we want to ban it because uhhh it has pictures of naked prisoners in the camps and therefore it’s pornography.”

“We don’t want to ban Beloved because it talks about slavery, we want to ban it because uhhh it has a slave getting raped in it and therefore it’s pornography and sexually explicit and won’t someone think of the children!”

“We don’t want to ban all of these books because they have Black kids on the covers, we want to ban them because uhhh they’re critical race theory and indoctrination that teaches White kids to hate themselves!”

“We don’t want to keep drag queens out of libraries because we hate them and are transphobic, we want to keep them out of libraries because uhhh they’re sexualizing minors and teaching them to mutilate their genitals!”

Those are real examples. And they will happen to fanfiction too if we’re not careful. Someone doesn’t like Sonadow? Well they’re not against it because they’re homophobic or just don’t like the ship, they’re against it because uhhh it’s pedophilia since Shadow is 50-65 depending on how you count it and Sonic is 15. If it can happen with books, it can happen with fanfiction.

We’ve already seen cases of people running for board positions on AO3 who talked about “cleaning up the site,” and each time it turned out they were homophobic and were very much including queerness in what they considered “dirty.” That’s going to keep happening because antis keep falling for it and getting swept up in a manufactured moral panic without thinking through what the enforcement would be like. The whole reason AO3 has the policies that it does is because these kinds of purges happened regularly on other sites. Every time, people insisted it was “just the bad ones,” “just the immoral ones,” “just the underage ones,” etc. And it never was. And after every purge, there’d be a lot fewer queer love stories in the world.

How are you going to make sure that doesn’t happen again? How will you decide whose definitions of terms like “pedophilia,” “grooming,” “underage,” “sexualizing,” “fetishizing” get used? That’s the part antis never think about, is what enforcement of what they want would actually involve. Some people think “underage” is anyone under 25 or under 20 and some think it’s anyone under 18. Which one is right? Who gets to decide? Which country’s age of consent is the correct one that fanfic writers around the world all have to abide by regardless of where they’re from, and why is that country’s age of consent the correct one? Whose interpretation of a work is the correct one? And whoever ends up making these decisions, how will you stop this decision maker who gets to say what counts as “properly and improperly depicting complex subject matter” and what doesn’t from shifting the goalposts and abusing their power? How will you stop them from applying those negative labels to just any work they don’t like? What checks and balances will be put in place to keep whoever does the fanfiction gatekeeping from abusing that position? Don’t dismiss those questions, answer them. I’ve yet to see an anti have an answer to these questions.

I know propaganda is effective because you’ve fallen for it. The idea that peoples’ ability to read and write what they want must be restricted because Think of the Children™ and because “only bad people would ever want to read/write something bad” is the same talking points used by Moms for Liberty, Ron DeSantis, the people protesting Drag Queen Story Hour, and so many others. Every single time an attempt is made to restrict the freedom to read and write, it is always couched in the paternalistic language of protection, safety, just looking out for kids, and the fearmongering language of “that stuff is freaky, dirty, and gross and only a pervert would ever have a problem with it being banned.” Every time, it is discussed with the language of protection and safety, and every time, it is a lie.

I support the right of everyone to read and write what they want because I don’t know their situation, don’t have the right to demand an explanation of their situation or a detailed account of their very private and personal traumas, and have seen what happens when people try to excuse banning and censorship of written text or harassing authors with the excuses of “it’s just the bad ones,” “we’re just protecting kids,” “we just have a few concerns,” “we’re just being good allies,” and “if I wrote something gross I’d expect to get called out!”

So. Now that I have responded to your points, I hope that you will very carefully read and consider my points at the very least and get out of your echo chamber and use some critical thinking too. The fact that you put the phrase critical thinking in quotes like it’s a fake thing that doesn’t exist instead of a real and very important skill reveals a lot more than I think you meant it to, but still I hope you try.

I’ve disabled anonymous asks because I want to see if you’re brave enough to respond without hiding behind anonymity. I’ll be interested to see if you or anyone who agrees with you actually provides thoughtful, well-reasoned, and well-articulated answers to the questions I’ve asked instead of replying with a thought-terminating ad hominem like “That was a lot of words to say that you’re a [insert bad thing here]!” or “Just say you [insert bad thing here] and go!” And if you can actually provide evidence for your claims, if you can provide non-anecdotal, verifiable studies and data that are not from a religious or rightwing think tank that prove your points about proshipping and proshippers, then I’ll really be impressed.

I’m not holding my breath though.

[cerislabnotes]

Research Note 15- Disbelief

Day 1: It's conference week. General share with the world what you're doing kind of conference. And I'm used to conferences that are managed with security and secrecy. (Aka, everyone bullshits their way through them, without any real meat of what they're doing being shared.) So, this has been a very hard adjustment for me.

There are labs and non-profits of all types of disciplines! I do technical stuff; I don't know how to talk to these people. (Can you tell I'm intimidated?) Oh well, the setup went well. We brought the beam head to show progress in the general proton therapy field. I've stayed at the table, and a few people have come up to talk, but I've barely seen the genetics team since we set up. They are out roaming the floor, talking to anyone and everyone who has anything remotely helpful with our research. It's quite odd to me, but I guess how these things go.

Day 2: One of the girls from the genetics team was picking up scientific papers from everyone and dropped them at the table to go to lunch. "Keep these safe, lots of good stuff here to take back." On the top was 'Discussion of Bonding Energy in reference to Current Human Removal Therapies' by P. Leh'Ber. Sounds scientific enough, right? Except, open the cover, and you get the rest of the story: 'Discussion of Bonding Energy in reference to Current Human Removal Therapies: Use of Alchemy for tearing and stitching DNA.' Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's magic. That's not even science fiction; that's absolute fantasy. What kind of crock is this? And why would someone with a PHD even pay attention to this?

Day 3: So that girl turned out to be the lead of the alternatives team. Essentially, it is a small group that looks for fringe connections to our work. Stuff that may enhance it, or cause conflict. When I asked about the pamphlet, she suggested I follow her to the group where the paper was made. The research team that published it works in "The Fantasy of Science." They didn't explain much I could understand, just that "we are doing the same work as you, just with the power of the universe" and "with the right need and sight, it becomes very clear how it works." "So, magic?" They all just shrugged. "Excuse me, I need to stop wasting company time." and moved on to another attendee who was excited to talk with them. Is magic really even being discussed here? The rest of the day was of no note.

Day 4: Conference ended today. But, one of the doctors from the alchemy group came by. "Ceri, was it? I just wanted you to know, 30 years ago, what you're doing with molecules and particles was fantasy and magic." "I understand, but at least it's still based in science." With a big smile, he said: "Ceri, I believe Thor said it best, "Magic is just science you don't understand yet." I paused, and stared into the void as that statement echoed in my head. About 10 seconds passed before I smiled back at the doctor. "Fair point. Good luck with your work; hopefully, we both can work some magic." I'll stick with the magic I understand. Tomorrow, back to the lab.

-Ceri

[Ideas of alchemy and magic came from @brothrbear]

[crossdressingdeath]

Josephine: Celene has held the throne successfully for years. I see no profit in ousting her. [...] Sera: [shrugs] They're all lying, but Celene's nice to look at. Good thing we're here to save her neck. [...] Blackwall: Say what you want about Celene's ascension. She stole the throne? She seduced her way to it? Who cares? In the years since, she's proven she is the perfect mix of strength, cunning and grace that Orlais needs.

Alaris, listening to this: Am I losing my fucking mind?!

The slaughter of the alienage isn't a secret, is it? I mean, burning down the whole place can't have been subtle; people have to know, right? Leliana personally passed on the Divine's not-technically-order to shut the elves up, she must know at least, and she has no reason not to inform the others. Like... why are the companions looking their elven friend and leader in the eyes and telling him "yeah, Celene's great, just ignore how she murdered a shitload of your people to make her look slightly better in the eyes of the court"? Who thought this was a good idea? DAI's reliance on supplementary materials for important plot points that are barely mentioned in-game is at its absolute worst in this quest, but that doesn't mean the characters in-universe have any excuse for this total lack of any thought as to whether or not Alaris is at all down for helping the woman who burned down the alienage because the elves dared to get mad over the senseless killing of an innocent man and Gaspard called Celene weak.

[some-pers0n]

rant about webs

I don't think you fully understand what you've unleashed here. You have just given me leeway, an excuse, to rant about my absolute least favourite character ever made.

Before I begin, I want to preface that, despite using strong language every now and then, I don't hate characters. I don't hate a lot of things. I dislike or don't agree with things, especially minor stuff like Glory's character arc not being as great as it could be or not care for arc 3, but I don't hate it.

I hate Webs. There has never been another character out there in any piece of media I detest more than this worthless sack of scales. He is abominable. He is nothing. He is useless. I hate him. I am revolted and disgusted by his mere existence.

I don't hate people who like him. If you like him, cool!! I like seeing other opinions! I may disagree with you entirely, but I don't want to come across that I literally hate people who don't share my opinion. I don't hate them at all. They're cool!! I'm just an overly emotional person on the internet who wants to wring the neck of a fictional dragon as if it were a wet towel.

Oh yeah, I also get a wee bit...intense and very aggressive. Be warned.

With that being said, I'll begin.

Webs is a nothing character. I don't think I have ever seen such a frustratingly empty and lifeless character. He is a shell. A husk. Any words he says holds no weight or meaning. He is speaking, but not talking. He has zero personality. He has no life. Looking at him and seeing him and his words gives off nothing. He is more hollow than an NPC in a early SNES game that only repeats the same line of dialogue.

Webs and his lack of a compelling personality is a large part of why I despise him. The greatest sin a character can be is boring. I can handle annoying characters, because at least then they have something to latch onto. A character that is completely dull is beyond infuriating. I want to bite a hole in his neck. He's soulless. He does not exist as a person. He is words on a page. It sounds redundant since every single character is technically just that, but their personality is what makes them real. Webs is not real. Webs is not even two-dimensional. I hesitate to say he's even one-dimensional since that would imply there's a dimension to his character.

I adore characters. Characters and dialogue are my favourite things to write about. I like my larger than life characters and personalities, obviously. I love being entertained by fun and compelling characters. While I'm personally fond of villains, I enjoy just about any character with...something to latch onto. Something to make me care about them for one reason or another. Whether it be their backstory, personality, relationships with the other characters, etc.

Webs is an void of creativity and depth. He is a cosmic horror with how maddeningly and stupidly terrible he is. It genuinely makes my blood boil and head spin to think about him. I'm on the verge of an actual headache writing this. I despise this terrible thing.

Webs is not a character. Webs is an anomaly. It is borderline impossible to somehow create a character that is virtually impossible to find anything to care about, but Tui managed to do it. I'd compare him to smooth, wet surface with no grip or anything to latch onto, but that would imply that he would be interesting in any regard. A surface that doesn't have anything to hold onto is fascinating. Webs is not that. Webs and his lack of anything is beyond that. He is worse than boring. I hate him.

That's not even mentioning the stuff he's done. Oh GOD the stuff he's done.

Webs often gets labeled as the ""best"" guardian because he doesn't explicitly physically and verbally abuse children. How sweet!! I'm going to bash his head into a wall and watch the entrails spill out and onto my hands. He STILL neglected the DoD and sat there like a spineless coward while they were being abused.

Hey, wanna hear something that'll blow your mind into a thousand pieces and leave you a bloody screaming mess on the floor, wailing in agony and begging God to save you from this hell? Neglect is still abuse!! Yippeee!!!! Wahoo!! :)

Webs sat there like a useless coward while children were abused. So likable!! Yeah, realistic for his character (which is so shallow that it's just flat earth), but it doesn't make me care about him. It makes me hate him. I hate Webs. I hate him so much.

Webs was scared of Kestrel and Dune, but that doesn't excuse him from sitting idly by like the goddamn waste of space that he is and doing absolutely nothing. He then is seem as the "good guy" by the DoD because ohhh boo hoo he's so sad and pathetic. :((( Yeah he's pathetic. I want to see him dropped off a cliff and fall to his demise.

B–b–but what about Riptide? Riptide? Who gives a shit about him and Riptide?? The books don't!! The books had the FULL power to turn this into an actually interesting plot point and did NOTHING! NOTHING!!! Riptide is a stale and empty piece of cardboard (like father like son), but husband only saving grace is that he has a SHRED more personality and charm than his limp-dick bastard father.

But, okay. Okay, okay, okay. I suppose I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Let's see what Webs did.

Oh!! Webs basically abandoned his wife and infant child and left them for dead? He allowed his wife to be executed by Coral and for his son to be known and have to carry the weight of being the son of the kingdom's betrayer? HOW WONDERFUL! HOW NICE! HOW GOOD! God I want to see the life drain from the eyes of this overized Petsmart disease-ridden gecko.

The worst part is KNOWING he could've been better. This whole plot point? It could've been so interesting. So nuanced. But, NO!! No, no, NO! That would require Tui putting some actual goddamn effort and work into this character, which he doesn't deserve in the slightest. What does he deserve? Being put six feet underground.

Webs is a parasite on my mind. I have never wanted to have anybody suffer like him. I hope there is a dragon hell so that he gets to live through the torment he forced his wife, Riptide, and all of the Dragonets of Destiny through for eternity. I hope he feels his wife's throat being torn open by Coral and the agony from it. I hope he feels every lash and every cut and every insult that Kestrel and Dune dealt out to the DoD. I hope he doesn't get a moment of peace.

He should have died at the very least. He is the least interesting guardian out of all of them. For GOD'S sake Asha and Hvitur are infinitely more interesting characters than him. ASHA DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING SHOW UP. SHE'S DEAD BEFORE THE STORY STARTS.

Kestrel has connections and links to such important characters. I don't like her and disagree that she should've lived past TDP, but I respect her character. Her impact on the DoD, Peril, Sky, etc is undeniable.

Dune has connections to Six-Claws and Thorn. We know he was a trusted member of the Outclaws and was once highly respected.

Hvitur, despite being an IceWing and not a part of the prophecy, is accepted to be a guardian. He believed with all of his might and soul that the prophecy would work. He had faith.

Asha, despite being a MudWing, desired a family. It's mentioned by Cattail and leaves open the idea that Asha was uncharacteristically caring and sweet for an adult MudWing. I always believed she was like Hvitur in a sense, joining the cause because she wanted to raise children and help end the war.

Webs has nothing. He is nothing. He is worthless. He is useless. He is a coward. I want him gone. Killing him in fanfiction or even in canon isn't enough now. I need him erased from existence. I don't want to spare another fraction of a millisecond to think about him. He doesn't deserve it.

I hate Webs.

[loonatics-b1gf4n]

LOONATICS SHIPS IN MY OPINION

!!!!WARNING!!!!

This article contains my thoughts.

Contains gay, lesbian ships and oc x canon ships. If you don't like this kind of thing, please don't read. I also ask you to be respectful.

Also, I do not own any of the characters mentioned here. Contains characters either owned by Warner Bros. or other users. Only the characters named Mylene E. Coyote ,Luna Vester, Hannah Bunny and Frankie Runner belong to me.

If you have no problems with these warnings, enjoy my article. Thank you.

-SHIPS THAT I LOVE TO SHIP OR I LIKE TO SHIP:

NUMBER ONE: TECH X REV (TEV OR OTHER SHIP NAMES YOU USE)

I think it wouldn't be a lie if I said it's the fan favorite Loonatics ship. I think you shipped it on time (If you didn't ship it, no problem). It's my favourite. And it was my first Loonatics ship. Technically my first Loonatics ship as a canon x canon ship. Hehe, I was once an oc x canon fan too. Interesting information, I used to ship Rev with the character named Mylene because I had a little crush on Rev. That's why I ship with myself. … I know it's very cringe. That's why I still hate myself. However, I learned from my mistakes and am now a Tech x Rev shipper. It wouldn't be a lie if I said Tech x Rev is the closest canon ship. They acted as if they were a couple in many scenes in the series. IF YOU STILL DON'T BELIEVE ME, LET ME TELL YOU THIS SENTENCE!! Said by Rev Runner. Season 2 Episode 5, ''Family Business'' “Thanks, Tech. If you weren't a coyote, and a guy, I'd kiss ya!” DID YOU SEE THIS?!?!? I'm still pissed because DAMN WARNER BROS ONLY MADE 2 SEASONS AND LEFT US LOONATICS FANS WITH A LOT OF QUESTIONS. AND MOREOVER, THEY DID NOT GIVE US ANY CANON SHIP. Except for married people, they're canon, so we know that. God dammit. In short, it is my favorite and I will definitely ship it in the future. NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!! NIHAHAHAHA. Sorry. By the way Rev gay and Tech pan in my AU.

NUMBER TWO: LEXİ X DUCK (LEXİ X DANGER DUCK)

Lexi x Duck ship is among my favorites, but it's not a ship I look at much. Even though Lexi and Danger Duck's relationship seems a little toxic in the series and they seem like siblings to other people, I love that they are lovers. At least in my AU they are. And they doesn't seem to ship much anymore. Excuse me, but this is the truth. Or I don't see much. This is also a possibility. It's not a ship I can talk about much, I just like them together.

NUMBER THREE: TECH X ACE

Don't attack me. I love Tech x Rev with all my heart. Still, I chose to like this ship for a change. I hated this ship before. But then I saw some of their fanart. Excuse me, but I mean a little bit, there are 2 hahahahahahaha. Anyway, I said to myself, "I think they might be cute. So why not, I ship it''. Frankly, I felt like they had a platonic love in the series. It seemed interesting and, frankly, sweet. Only in the series did I see how much Ace actually cares about Tech. Cry though, Ace, because Tech chose Rev. Hahahahahaha. I'm sorry again. An interesting information (related to real life) is that coyotes are monogamous. That's why I ship Rev with Tech in a different AU, and I ship Ace with Tech in a different AU. This helps a little more.

NUMBER FOUR: SLAM X LEXİ

I'll just say this briefly because I'm tired and I need to move on to more oc x canon and the ones I hate. They are sweet, but I see them more as brother and sister. I'M SO SORRY WHO EVER SHIP THEM!!! I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME!!! I RESPECT YOU GUYS!!!!

NUMBER FIVE: TECH X LEXİ

They can be cute but I don't prefer to ship them.

-OC X CANON SHIPS

NUMBER ONE: RİP X KİT (KİT X RİP OR KİP) OC X CANON SHIP

The owner of this ship is @segamarkiii. I don't own this ship or the Kit character. The reason I like this ship is obviously because Rip has a boyfriend. Rip is honestly a bit of an underrated character. I'm sad about this, because I think it would have made the show a little better if Rip had been a little more prominent. Also, the fanart made by Segamarkiii is amazing. I hope she makes more Loonatics fanart.

NUMBER TWO: MYLENE X LUNA (MY OWN SHIP BETWEEN MY OC'S)

I love this ship. They suit each other very well. Let me give you some AU spoilers. Mylene actually changed Luna's life. That's why she's on the team. In my original AU, I was actually going to ship Luna with Tech. YES, I TRIED TO SHIP THE CHARACTER WITH MYSELF AGAIN, CRINGE AND SORRY. Now when I say this, what do you think? ''Wait, do you ship yourself with yourself? It's disgusting.'' No, my dear friends. Mylene and Luna are no longer the characters I am myself. I have a main character and an IRL character, which are characters that reflect me. So no, I don't ship myself with myself. Do not worry. Meanwhile, Mylene and Luna are a Bi and Lesbian couple (TOH reference hah). Mylene Bi and Luna are lesbians. I love shipping them.

NUMBER THREE: ACE X HANNAH

The real reason I made this ship was because I felt sorry for Ace. While everyone on the team was in love with someone, Ace and Slam were not in love with someone. Don't worry, I have a ship in Slam. Hannah is a vet and Mylene has a desert fox (named Angel. Don't worry, a picture with my Loonatics Ocs will come soon, in late February, hopefully) While Mylene is taking her to the vet, Ace sees Hannah because he also came. Love at first sight, they get together, blah, blah, blah. So I gave Ace a girlfriend out of pity.

NUMBER FOUR: SLAM X FRANKIE

I must say that this ship was inspired by the malewife x girlboss relationship. While Slam is very shy around Frankie, Frankie tries to flirt with Slam. That's enough to say, and besides, this is my favorite oc x canon ship. IN LOONATICS!! DONT WORRY!!!!

If you have oc x canon ship in Loonatics and if I'm not say that sorry.

-SHIPS THAT I HATE TO SHIP OR I DON'T LIKE TO SHIP

Before I give my opinions, I'm so, so sorry if you ship any of these. But these are my opinions. However, I respect you all, know that.

NUMBER ONE: LEXİ X ACE

This is my least favorite ship among the Loonatics ships. Again, I'm sorry, but I don't like Ace and Lexi being shipped. If you tell me about the scenes in the series in the comments, I can't really say anything. However, remember that none of the ships in the series are canon. I think Ace and Lexi are cousins, and I prefer that. We already know that Bugs and Lola are together. In this case, the possibility of Lexi and Ace being cousins ​​increases.

''They are cousins, they are in the very distant future, can't they have consanguineous marriages? Can't they date even if they are relatives??'' Of course, but I don't like that, that's why I don't like this ship. That is all.

NUMBER TWO: ACE X DUCK (ACE X DANGER DUCK)

I will say this, this ship may be sweet to you, but it is not sweet to me. In my opinion, their relationship is mostly brotherly. They already have a competitive relationship. If we look at it according to Duck.

NUMBER THREE: REV X DUCK

I'm not telling anyone not to ship this, but I see them as a brothers.

Again, if you disagree with my thoughts, at least kindly express your opinion. If there are any ships I forgot, you can tell me.

Have a good day, good morning or good night :)

[plutobutartsy]

i was actually just joking about vega and gavin being divorced with shared custody over caelum but i got a bit too silly and now it's just an actual au i have so uhhhh here are some thoughts

first off, unempowered/no magic au + no angst only fun bc caelum deserves it (and so do i)

i think gavin and vega only got divorced because after moving in with each other they noticed each other's annoying habits and just went "fuck no, i can't live with this guy forever"

nothing major just like,,

gavin taking REALLY long showers until all the hot water is gone

vega putting his dirty dishes in the sink instead of directly into the dishwasher

stuff like that

they both just got hit with a magnitude 8 ick on the richter scale and because they're both petty and dramatic they decided living seperately wasn't enough so they just HAD to get a divorce

so technically they're not on bad terms but again, they're just really petty so they bicker a lot and bring up dumb shit the other did for no reason other than to be annoying

they keep the fighting at a minimum in front of caelum (even though it's not really serious)

but once caelum is out of the room?? oh boy

they're 100% the type to kick each other under the table

they also definitely try to one up each other

constant debates on who the favourite is

@super-trouper-lights suggested freelancer as daycare worker but i think caelum is a bit older so they're his grade school teacher :)

they have an enormous amount of drawings the kids made them and caelum is deffo the one who makes the most

they try to hang all of the drawingd up in the classroom but once they run out of space they take some older ones down to keep them safe in a binder (more like multiple binders lol)

some of their older coworkers look down on them because they're very gentle with the kids, they think freelancer isn't strict enough

jokes on them because freelancer is amazing at their job and all the kids love them

both vega and gavin make time to go to the parent teacher conferences together and gavin is lowkey salty about it because he wants to spend time alone with freelancer

that's why he does a lot of volunteering to help with school events and such

one time he spent a month perfecting his brownie recipe for their bake sale with the sole intention of making something freelancer might enjoy

only for him to find out that they were allergic to nuts and couldn't have any

he was devastated

vega found out because caelum told him and laughed at gavin for a solid 10 minutes

pet works at the local arts and crafts store that caelum insists on going to like once a week at LEAST

after vega met the for the first time he kept finding excuses to go back there, to the point where he had to convince caelum that no, he doesn't have enough glitter and yes, they have to go to the store right NOW

after a month he finally asked them to have coffee with him and they said yes

they started officially dating a few weeks after that <3

and YES vega definitely brags to gavin about being with pet while gavin hasn't even asked freelancer out yet

gavin's main concern is not wanting to make freelancer uncomfortable or to cross any boundaries or god forbid get them into trouble for dating a student's parent

so he is resolved to wait until caelum moves on to middle school (he's slowly going insane)

freelancer actually developed feelings for him as well after spending so much time with him organizing school events but they want to keep it professional and they're afraid they might misread gavin's kindness and passion as him being interested in them

"he's just a really dedicated parent i can't believe i'm making this about myself :("

freelancer and gavin truly are peak idiots to lovers

also, freelancer gets all their supplies for the class from the same store pet works at so they know each other and have gotten quite close over time :)

while freelancer is decent at arts and crafts, they're definitely not good at it (they're the teacher that prefaces every drawing they show in class with "now i'm no ARTIST")

pet on the other hand is really good at all artsy things

name a medium and they're good at it i gurantee it

so naturally caelum is amazed by them and always wants them to show him how to make certain things

vega always just wants to watch but pet and caelum talk him into joining them and he literally sucks at most of it lol

the only thing he's good at when it comes to art is folding paper boats and airplanes

pet also makes their own jewellery

at this point they made so much for vega that he pretty much exclusively wears stuff they made

ofc caelum also gets his own jewellery

he makes them friendship bracelets in return

they have a ton of them and wear a different one every day

this is a lot longer than i intended so i'll wrap it up here but if anyone has any thoughts on this please share :D

psst there's a part 2 now 👀

[volivolition]

Any updates on all wip fics? and what is your ao3 username if you have one?

if you don't want to share any info, it's all good

i hope you know how hard i am YIPPEE-ing after getting this ask, I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY FIC WIPS!!!! YEAHGKJH!!!! <33 my AO3 is also volivolition, but i dont have anything posted there yet :]

TL;DR: I have 4+ WIPs im working on simultaneously: Unstoppable Force Kisses Immovable Object - A Voli/Echem enemies -> enemies with benefits -> friends with benefits -> lovers fic that started as PWP but whoops its not just smut anymore lmao? Meet the Parts that Make You - A "Kim introduced to the Skills" fic! Let's Make It (a) Home - A Skills fic showing the aftermath of the amnesia wiping out Harry's mindspace, with the Skills working together to rebuild it into a home during the Hanged Man case. Mostly domestic fluff. Swept Up in the Feeling - An Empathy-centric fic, originally an excuse to do Skill character studies. Empathy understanding each skill while they do activities together <3 (gained a plot. suddenly.)

ANYWAY!! more info, snippets and musings under the cut!

Unstoppable Forces Kisses Immovable Object Word Count: 18722 Rating: Explicit Okay, so technically this document isn't just one story. It's my catch-all "any Volistry writing goes HERE" containment zone. Like I said, this wasn't supposed to be anything big, I just wanted to write a bunch of drabbles and practice writing smut because I've never done that before. But then the drabbles started connecting to each other and Voli and Echem started falling in love without asking me and so it's like. A whole thing now lmao?

they bring me so much joy. they're so fun to write, because volition will say something so normal and echem will find some way to misconstrue it and volition will bicker and echem will flirt back and volition will sigh and they're so fucking funny to me. they just keep talking, their back-and-forth banter is so natural to write, which is why this fic is so long hkgjh

they learn to balance each other out!! i want them to be soft and witty with each other and i'll. cry about them. if you catch me at the right time i will wax poetic about their relationship but right now they're just being incoherently rotated in my brain.

anyway here's a snippet, i have so much written for this damn fic that i had trouble choosing lmao. it's like. mildly suggestive? but truly nothing blatant, just cutesy shit lmao

Meet the Parts that Make You Word Count: 3886 Rating: Mature This fic is the closest of the four to being abandoned lmao? Or at least I want to finish Swept Up before writing this one, because as it stands I feel like I can't grasp everyone's characters right without doing some character study beforehand. It might also be because I'm currently more obsessed with the Skills instead of the humans, though i still love them.

but yes! Meet the Parts that Make You is a fic after Martinaise, established relationship for KimHarry, where Kim is casually introduced to the skills over dinner, and they document their findings in Kim's notebook over the course of about a week. it's a lot of skills banter and silly moments!! harry can honestly say that every single part of him loves Kim.

here's where they're trying to show off each of their different specialties, featuring Reaction Speed and Hand/Eye Coordination who are my sillies.

Let's Make It (a) Home Word Count: 1896 Rating: Teen+ I think if I want to finish any fic first, I want it to be this one, because it really sets the scene for the rest of the universe of all my other fics. The main gist is that Perception can pull in anything that Harry's looking at into the mindspace, and once they figure this out, most of the skills go "Hey we should bring in more things so we can decorate!"

volition my friend and perpetual spoilsport :3 anyway, different skills affect the object's properties! Perception can pull things in, Interfacing can give it texture, Conceptualization can make it different colors and Reaction Speed can duplicate it. Empathy makes it so the object has the correct feelings attached to it (Dora's letter, for example) and Half Light can immediately destroy the object (Dora's letter, for example).

this fic is basically The Hanged Man case, but from the perspective of the Skills. i think it focuses on some specific skills, but maybe not all of them because I'd die if i had to give each one of them an individual chapter. maybe i'll smoosh some skills together? i love all of them and i want all of them to get some screen time, but it would wreck me lmao

i have a whole Volition scene written out and i think its so fucking gorgeous bro... i love writing. it's like... rebuilding after death, the skills have a kind of blank slate too, you know? they're learning to work together again, regaining memories, making new ones, making a home together. the way different skills need to work together to make an object in the mindspace real. I WANT THEM TO BE A HAPPY FAMILY. AUHG.

Swept Up in the Feeling Word Count: 5103 Rating: This is Mature. Except the Echem chapter. Which is Explicit.

EMPATHY MY FAVORITE SKILL. OUGH. EMPATHY. MY FRIEND. this fic is about Empathy getting roped into a bunch of shenanigans with the other skills, and goes along with it all while better understanding each of them.

so remember when i said I'd die if i had to give each one of them an individual chapter? yeah. that's because THIS is the story where i give each one of them an individual chapter.

24 chapters, one per each skill. Including, but not limited to:

Exercising with Physical Instrument!

Art time with Conceptualization!

Performance with Drama!

Listening to Encyclopedia infodump!

Reminiscing with Volition!! (THEY ARE CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS!!!)

Staying up late with Endurance

"Overstimulated Skills Support Group" with Perception

Talking about understanding people vs understanding machines with Interfacing

Talking about understanding people vs understanding specific people with Esprit de Corps

Apologizing to Composure about making their life harder with UNNECESSARY FEELINGS ("as if we don't deal with enough of our own, you bring in other people's emotions for me to hide?" "why do we always need to hide them?" "BECAUSE... :| Just because.")

A Talk with Half Light.

Y'know... with Electrochemistry (there's more to it than just that though lmao)

This fic will be the death of me, with all the skills, but I really really want to do skill character studies. I need to research their lines on Fayde and understand each of them so I can write all of them better.

This is also so I can be obsessed with each of them. Currently I have a lot of faves, but I don't care about all of them yet when i WANT TO!! i want to know each of them intrinsically!! I wrote a bit of the Endurance chapter and I didn't use to care for him very much, but then I wrote the lines

"Endurance is not tired; he can't afford to be. Not when everyone else is. He would stand before any of them, from the first intellect to the last motoric, in order to take a blow meant for someone frailer, less capable of surviving it. He will endure it instead."

and now I'm sympathetic to him. like, ough. If I understand them, then I learn to love them, and that's also why I'm writing it from Empathy's perspective! Empathy feels what other the other skills feel and does bonding activities with them with similar feelings, does that make sense? i really want to learn characterization for each of them, this fic truly is just an excuse for me to do character studies so i know all their character motivations.

BUT. it also has backstory plot now that im invested in lmao? based off of character design that i have. I STILL NEED TO POST MY SKILL REFS. RAUGH. but yeah all of my stories get too big for me really, i always bite off more than i can chew for projects like this lmao.

Other Fics: Skill Body Swap Fic! its shoved into Unstoppable Force's document for the time being, since this is mostly an excuse for Volition/Echem swap (Echem's body is ~sensitive~ if you're not used to it and i love putting voli through Situations. meanwhile Volition's body has the morale health pool in it that echem has to take care of), and ive only written that specific swap, but i think it'd be cool if i swapped EVERY SKILL.

Logic and Drama would be funny hkjgh Drama would 1) immediately slot into the new role and be extremely good at pretending nothing is wrong. What do you mean, he hasn't switched bodies with anyone? That's highly improbable. 2) love saying lies as if they were appropriate conclusions, and actual Logic would be like "That's literally wrong. Stop that."

Empathy and Composure would be interesting! Empathy's body is constantly picking up on everyone's emotions, and also is always on the brink of tears. Composure's body is not made to experience the same emotions, much less the emotions of others. Empathy's cut off from feeling and Composure is struggling not to fucking cry, poor guy.

Shivers and anyone? I just think Shivers should be small and worried about her connection to Revachol. and some other skill is just like "WHY IS THIS SO OVERWHELMING. HELLO??"

i dont know, theres a lot of ways i could go with this, i'll figure it out lmao. if anyone has suggestions for interesting/funny swaps and is even reading this far, let me know

The Sunrise Momentum. I SWEAR TO GOD IF I DONT WRITE THIS FIC. I NEED TO FUCKING WRITE THIS. Volition's vow with Harry that i cry about once per day. VOLITION IS TO HARRY AS HARRY IS TO REVACHOL. AUGH. "I will do everything in my power to keep you alive. I will keep you on this earth." my knight in lavender armor i am OBSESSED WITH YOUUUU!! *vibrates at high velocity*

okay that's about it, thanks for reading my RAMBLES!!

[decolonize-the-everything]

"I'm gonna move if shit hits the fan"

Why, so that country will be full of cowards too? Maybe I'm just being native about this but there is something so disgustingly fucking vile about able bodied settlers saying they're gonna run now that the shit government that THEIR grandparents installed is hurting people.

"well my parents immigrated so I've got nothing to do with-"

Then you were born into the responsibility. This is your home to take care of as much as it is ours. Our history is yours. It's crimes are yours too unless youre an activist Actively trying to right those wrongs. You don't get to "well technically" yourself out of that.

You live here it's your home. Period. It's your responsibility to take care of it. To take care of the others who live here with you. ESPECIALLY as a settler on native land. ESPECIALLY given how loud marginalized folks have been, you're aware of our issues and have no excuses not to be helping us with them.

And you should because we didn't ask for this. We didn't create this. We aren't the ones banning trans lives and passing don't say gay bills. We aren't the ones in pig suits killing BIPOC in broad daylight. We weren't the ones settling for lesser evil presidents en masse. We aren't the ones giving ICE and the military billion dollar budgets. We aren't the ones who stormed the capitol.

We've been fighting bigotry since 1492. This wasn't OUR doing.

Now you want to fucking run cuz it's finally affected you? Now it's getting scary??

It's been scary. It's been wrong. It's been unjust. Natives, Black, Mexican, and other communities of color have been saying this. Remember how the entire civil rights movement was necessary JUST to legally protect Black lives because people were too shitty to just Do That without laws forcing them to??

You better fucking stay here to help us un-do all this. You all sat back and watched it get this bad and it was okay to "vote for the lesser evil" to 'save the country' or when when it was just natives or black ppl at risk but now that they're coming after white lives now it's scary?

Now evil is so unacceptable you wanna catch a flight?

Y'all have better stay your asses right here.

It's the LEAST you can do.

[iveneverdoneanythingwrong]

Liveblogging Man Suang

First things first - outrage at Not-Mile who dares put his hands on Apo. Who the fuck do you think you- oh good, he's dead. Though, this is obviously something Khem expects and is used to. The touching, not the murder.

Wan, leave that knife in. Wan, don't take that knife out. Okaaaay, he took the knife out. Khem, at least don't be holding the murder weapon when- *sigh* never mind. Jesus fuck, Khem and Wan are not the sharpest crayons in the box, are they?

"You were caught red handed next to my nephew's body!" Only literally! I mean, technically correct. And in this instance, not the best kind of correct. :(

I love the costuming

Ohh hellooooo. Also, girrrl what are YOU doing at the devil's sacrament?

You met him thirty seconds ago and you're already showing him your pussy? Chatra, you slut.

Hey. HEY! Lord Not-Chatra. Stop looking at him like that. I swear, Khem is to higher-social-standing men like Will Graham is to serial killers. Where's the Chesapeake Chatra when you need him?

Montage time!

Khem. Sweetie. Honey. You need to be more subtle if you're going to be a spy....

Apo is so pretty when he cries. 😭

YEAH YOU TELL HIM KHEM! Calling out the double standards! Also, that dude is totes jealous he didn't catch Lord Not-Chatra's attention...

Chatra gives you one warning and then it's a FIST TO THE FACE.

Are they on a date? They're totally on a date.

This is a very important secret. So I'm telling you, a guy I've spoken to four times, on our first date, at a table at the corner of an intersection with open doors and people all around. Very important. Top Secret.

I love the sheer disappointment and disbelief in Khem's voice. Khem: A treasure trove? Really? That's what you're going with? Chatra: Why are you laughing?

Khem, you're such a hothead. You got into a KITE FIGHT. But it is a great excuse for Chatra to grope your waist. Well done.

At least Khem tells his secret up a tree and not on a LITERAL STREET CORNER.

Can't rid yourself of being a lowborn? *looks at the camera like it's The Office*

Me: I'm laughing with Khem cause a treasure map is stupid. Me five minutes later: wait, you bought that??? Chatra: Wait, he bought that? Oh man, this pretty idiot desperately needs my help...

Me (And Chatra definitely): My god, look at his face transform into a smile... do it again! again!

Khem: I have something to tell you... .... ... I've invited Chatra to join our missionWAN:ARE YOUFUCKING CRAZY???

I love the reconstruction sequence. That's some good storytelling.

HAHAHAHAHA "If you don't believe me, feel free to search my rooms!" Wan: Oh...I don't think that's nec- Chatra: DON'T MIND IF I DO. "Maybe you need to search me. I'll undress" Khem: NO THANK YOU WE'RE GOOD.

Ok... do you think that's enough food for three people? I think we might need to get another table of food in here...

What.... what are you doing Chatra. Like... my man has to have a good reason to point a gun at Khem... but there are no good reasons to point a gun at Khem.... but my man has to have a good reason to....KHEM LET HIM EXPLAIN

Ahhh Hong, I knew he wasn't dead. I knew it! I did! Oooh an assassin's teapot. Nice.

Yeah, old man! I agree!

Goddamned Apo is so goddamned pretty.

Oh damn. Risking your life to save your friend... and ending up having to kill him yourself. What a gut punch.

Aww Chatra. I'm not crying, you're crying!

Where's the series? I need the series now! Where is ittttttt???? 😭😭😭😭😭 You can't leave my boys like this!! 😭😭😭

[thesparklingwriter]

an uncomfortable encounter

“I kill people for plenty of other reasons besides just being irritated. Don’t lower me to such petty standards.”

tags: pet names, Zhongli is very pure, soft Zhongli, fem!reader, Zhongli and reader are in a relationship, Zhongli has to talk to Childe about something and reader is not having it, they're bickering again (as usual), lots of insults regarding the fact Childe is ginger (sns)

ao3 link | taglist | masterlist | next

please do not repost or edit my work without credit. reblogs are greatly appreciated!

once again, everybody say thank you Rin for this chapter :) i pumped this out in half and hour so i apologise if it's ass and as usual i will check over it later. this is my first time ever writing Childe (no cap) so if that is bad you also know why

“I don’t like this.” You hiss under your breath, irritated at the fact that your husband is making you meet the man who nearly killed him–or whatever happened at the Rite of Ascension with his exuvia. You can’t really get your head around it, but the ginger dude is a no-go in your mind. Mainly cause he’s a real pain in the back to deal with.

Zhongli takes your hand, seated beside you at the table of a small outdoor cafe. It’s so out in the open that it almost becomes inconspicuous, a fact you’re acutely aware of. “I am aware. You have reminded me of that fact at least twenty times in the past ten minutes.”

“I really don’t like it. What if he tries to kill you again?”

“Childe is an opportunist, not a complete and utter idiot.” Zhongli mutters. “And he didn’t kill me the first time.”

“No, he just stole your gnosis, whatever!” You reply pointedly. Zhongli seems to recognise that there’s not much use in arguing with you anymore, since you’ve made up your stubborn little mind. 

“I gave it to him, remember.” He sighs. “Your tea’s getting cold.”

You ignore him. “To Celestia with the tea—I have a husband with no sense of danger! I’m right to be put off.”

Zhongli opens his mouth to reply, but is cut off by a an amused voice. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

You glance at the ginger standing before you. Not only is he the reason the two of you are bickering, but he’s also interrupted it, with a stupidly smug smile on his stupidly smug face. For all intents and purposes, you do not like him. At all.

“I’m glad you’re well, Childe.” Zhongli says, extending a hand to him. He declines, shoving his into his pockets.

“She’ll cut them off if I even dare. Won’t you?” He shrugs, glancing at you. You feel like telling him to not even look in your direction, but you figure it would only make him laugh and, instead, settle for a curt nod. “Is she always like this?” 

Zhongli sighs. “Excuse my wife.” You smile brightly at him, and resume glaring at the carrot that grew legs. “I trust you’ve held up to your end of the deal.” 

Your ears prick up. What deal? You’re aware of the ties between Childe and Zhongli, and the way that that technically links your husband to the Fatui, but you thought that was a past deal—one that was long over.

Childe sighs. “Here are your tickets for your fancy boat ride thing.” He hands them over to Zhongli with a wry smile. “You really have to stop doing this, though. I had to pull a lot of strings—”

“If I remember correctly…” Zhongli starts, his eyes starting to faintly glow gold.

“Yes, yes, I know what we agreed to. Is a man not allowed to complain every now and again?”

You sit up from your position beyond the two men. “Yes, because when you complain, it nearly almost ends in a homicide.”

“I kill people for plenty of other reasons besides just being irritated.” Childe retorts. “Don’t lower me to such petty standards.” He crosses his arms, staring at you evenly. He’s beginning to see what the ex archon sees in you. You’re...lively. 

Your chair skids behind you as you shoot up to your feet. “You’re the one arguing with me over whether or not you're petty. I think that says everything it needs to.”

“Childe, if you’re finished tormenting my wife, I’d like to have a peaceful afternoon that doesn’t involve her being in a bad mood and me having to make it up to her. I trust your curiosity is satisfied by now.”

You look between your husband and the ginger hilichurl. Actually, that’s an insult to the hilichurls. “Did you bring me here so he could meet me?” You hiss. Zhongli hums.

“Not entirely, no.” He says. “Things just seemed to fall into place.”

“I am not a trophy for you to parade around.” 

Childe looks between the two of you. Even though you’re just as—if not more—argumentative as you were before, there’s a different air to it. There’s no real malice there, and even if there was, Zhongli could have diffused it with that look he gives you—as if you’re the only thing that’s ever brought him joy in his whole life.

“I know that,” He concedes. “But is it so wrong to be proud of my wife?”

You open your mouth, and close it again almost immediately, your counter argument forgotten to the wind. “No,” you mutter. “Not at all.”

Childe feels well and truly forgotten as he stands there helplessly. A whole Fatui harbinger reduced to simply running errands for an ex-archon and a wife he adores more than his own land. This is not the way he expected his life to go.

“Well, I’m gonna, like, go. You know, Fatui to train, codenames to give out… All that jazz.”

Zhongli looks up at him for a single second before his eyes snap back to you, and even Childe, for all his unbothered aloofness, has the decency to be offended.

“Thank you, Ajax. I appreciate your co-operation.”

“Xiansheng, I got you tickets to go sit on a boat with your wife so you can make lovey doves eyes at her without sickening half of Liyue. It was a royal pain to get through the books, but hardly a difficult mission.” Childe scoffs. “Which once again, is a gross display of your love for messing with contracts. We never said we’d fund your love life.”

“You never said you wouldn’t,” Zhongli replies. “And, all things considered, it’s a small price to pay for almost killing me, wouldn't you agree?”

a/n i posted this instead of posting a different one cause i'm keeping it for myself cause its a bit too self-indulgent for me to share so enjoy this while i come to terms with sharing the other one PAHAHAH

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 4

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 3 🟣 Part 5 

A reverse harem vampire AU ft. Mikey, Marshall, August and Sherlock

Series summary: Somehow, you've managed to live with your boyfriend and his roommates for months before finding out they're vampires, but the real shock first comes when they find out you have a special quality. A quality the guys would love to make use of...

Warnings: Mentions of blood, biting, vampire stuff.

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: More little vampire facts... I'm having panic attacks so I'm distracting myself by posting vampire fiction, I guess?

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @summersong69

“Oh my god, who are you?” You looked at the stranger who was sitting at the kitchen table, looking like he’d seen better days.

“This is Sherlock, he's an old friend,” August said, “he actually lives here, but he’s been away.”

“How old?” you asked, having no idea whether it was a silly question. You turned to Mikey: “Sherlock, your scientist friend?”

“You talk about me?” Somehow, Sherlock seemed to be surprised by that, though for the love of God you couldn’t figure out why. Was it uncommon among vampires to talk about friends?

“She's with Mikey,” August replied, “and she lives here.”

“Excuse me, August, I don't think I should be the subject of discussion here.” You weren’t the random guy sitting at your kitchen table all of a sudden – even though that random guy had been living here for longer than you had.

“Right, sorry, Sherlock appeared here out of nowhere.” You could just tell from his face that August was planning on driving you absolutely insane with meaningless commentary that would clarify exactly nothing about this whole situation. Because that’s what August Walker did; be a dick about things he didn’t need to be a dick about. Usually.

“That's unhelpful!” You exclaimed but August just shrugged.

“It's the truth.”

“What do you mean 'appeared here out of nowhere'?” You were really starting to lose your patience with this guy.

“I mean he appeared here out...”

“August!” God, why did he have to be such a dick? Just when you were about to tell August he was the most insufferable cunt on the planet, Sherlock interjected.

“I'm sorry, darling, allow me.” Sherlock sounded a lot more helpful than August did. Not that it took much to beat his record, but still. “Gift of apparition.” Sherlock said as if that was enough of an explanation. Oddly enough, you found that it was - at least to satisfy your initial curiosity. Over the past days, gifts had come up in your Google-searches about information on vampires – although you hadn’t brought it up with the guys; you simply didn’t know how. ‘Hey, can you do anything cool?’ didn’t exactly seem like the right question, so you’d just let it rest.

“You need to feed, my friend,” August said, offering him an arm.

“You can feed on each other?”

“Technically,” Marshall chimed in. “It will leave the donor hungrier than before. I'm sure Sherlock can give you the full lecture on vampire physiology.” You looked at Mike, a question burning in your eyes. You couldn’t say it out loud, but there was a strangely irresistible urge to offer yourself up as lunch to a guy you’d never even met before.

"It wouldn't be." To your surprise, it was Marshall who answered that burning question you never asked. "In fact, it would be a very lovely offer. Not that I'm saying you have to, obviously, you have a choice."

"She didn't ask out loud" Mike said, teeth clenched. "Get out of her head."

“What is happening?”

“Marshall can... Eh… He can hear thoughts,” Mike whispered. Alright, that was a lovely introduction to whether or not the guys had any gifts of their own – and you weren’t happy about it. “More specifically, I can hear words someone isn't intent on saying. That being said, I can hear thoughts, but it takes a lot more effort and energy.”

“What, you have to specialize?” you snapped sarcastically. It was a lot to take in that – apparently – for the past months, your thoughts hadn’t necessarily been your own.

“That's actually not a bad way to describe it,” Marshall replied. Somehow, his calm tone put you on edge even more.

“Oh, good grief,” you sighed, “does anyone have a PowerPoint? Anyway. Sher-“ The words caught in your throat, but he understood the offer.

“Are you certain? He will need a lot more from you than the little erotic feeding session you dabbled in with that guy.” August pointed at Mike. Your mouth fell open. How? Why? And to bring it up so casually? You felt deeply ashamed. Deeply.

“It's fairly common practice,” Sherlock laughed, “don't worry about it.”

“What, so that's just another kind of oral?” This conversation definitely took a weird turn – or weirder, depending on how casual you thought discussions with and about vampires were to begin with.

“Again, you're being sarcastic but it's not an inaccurate description,” Marshall added. “It's uncommon to the point where it's more like... Never mind.” Something told you it was going to come up later, mostly because you were definitely the one who was going to bring it up. But probably with Mike, and in the privacy of his or your room.

“If you’re serious about the offer, I’ll gladly accept,” Sherlock said, “August is right, I do really need to feed.” He sounded slightly worried, but a look shared between him and Mike seemed to settle his doubts.

“She should lie down,” August said, the same temporary tinge of worry to his voice that Sherlock’s had held. The way they were treating this made you question your decision to begin with. Then again, it hadn’t hurt when Mike bit you, and he’d assured you it wasn’t exactly possible to kill you.

The boys had you lie down on the couch, while Sherlock sat down in front of it. August hurled a blanket at your head, saying something about how common it was for people to get cold.

“May I have your arm?” You appreciated Sherlock’s kindness and politeness about the matter, and the great care with which he took your hand in his. The bite was less painful than the one Mike left on your shoulder the week before, but this time you winced when you felt suction on your skin. What you didn’t expect, was that Sherlock would let go of you nearly immediately. “You need water, darling.”

Before he’d even finished the sentence, Mike was next to you, holding out a glass. You gave them a questioning look.

“Blood is thicker when you’re dehydrated, it makes it more uncomfortable. Drink, and then we give it a few minutes.” Marshall told you. There was a strange sense of calm in the room while you drank the water Mike had given you, and the boys exchanged looks you couldn’t quite determine the meaning of. You suspected that you were in for another long conversation.

“Feeling okay?” Mike asked as he sat down on the end of the couch, lifting your feet into his lap. You nodded – it wasn’t a lie; you were feeling absolutely fine.

“May I?” Sherlock said after a few minutes, and you handed him your arm again. This bite was mostly painless, too, and now the uncomfortable feeling you’d suffered before was gone. The same comfortable warmth you felt when Mike had bitten you came over you this time, and a soft hum escaped from you as you closed your eyes. You were convinced you could just fall asleep like this, that’s how nice it felt.

“Oh god, she really is one.” August sounded surprised, although you couldn’t pinpoint why, or what he was even talking about. That being said, you weren’t about to let August ruin your… ‘buzz’ was almost the right word to describe it.

“August,” Marshall snapped, clearly unhappy with whatever he heard that was never going to be spoken.

“What was he thinking?” As per usual, you were far too curious for your own good – and Marshall wasn’t one to sugarcoat things, so whatever August hadn’t been intent on saying out loud, was about to be thrown into the room without mercy.

“He was thinking 'blood whore',” Marshall growled, “and while that term is used on occasion, it's generally considered to be incredibly rude.”

“Is there an accepted term?” Why that was the first question that popped into your mind, instead of ‘what is it?’, you had no idea, but Walter was quick to answer.

“We call them - you, if you will- ‘naturals’, usually,” he explained. “Sherlock would love to explain the rest of it. And he does have slides, if that helps.”

“Excuse me? Why would those be thoughts he wasn’t intent on expressing?”

“Oh, with permission, I can read any thought. He's basically thinking these things to me right now.”

“And why doesn’t he just… speak?” Sherlock actually chuckled softly at your suggestion, but he didn’t take his mouth off your arm.

“He doesn't want to bite you a third time,” Mike chuckled, “four punctures is plenty for a single feeding.” You saw August roll his eyes.

“Of course sick bastards such as August have the aim to match previous wounds, but it takes practice.” August's eyes were shooting daggers at Mike, but Mike wasn’t looking at him all too friendly, either. The ‘blood whore’ remark had really done a number on the general vibe in the room.

“That's for thinking of her as a blood whore, August,” Mike scoffed before turning to you again for a – well deserved, if you did say so yourself – explanation of what was going on. “He likes the biting, not the feeding –“

“No, the feeding, too,” August added. Mike raised an eyebrow at him. “Well, if you're going to tell her anyways, I'm going to make sure you don't misrepresent us.”

“'Us'? Like, as in... It's a thing?” You wondered out loud.

“Nowhere near as common as the... Previously mentioned... You know.” He made a vague gesture at you and Mike, and that was all the clarification you needed. Him not flat out calling it what it was may or may not have had something to do with the fact that the look in Walter’s eyes could have kept a rabid grizzly in check. “But it definitely isn’t uncommon, either, contrary to what Mike may want you to believe.”

“Are we getting into vampire-kink here?”

"Absolutely." It was the answer you had expected, though not quite what you had wanted to hear. And perhaps you hadn’t quite expected it to come from all three of them – Sherlock obviously still couldn’t talk.

"Ok, color me intrigued,” you said. It wasn’t a lie; you were curious. On the other hand, maybe there were some things you weren’t meant to find out?

"It's an interesting sensation in and of itself. And then there is the inflicting of pain which appeals to some of us the same way it does to some humans,” August explained. It was a reasonable explanation, and one you could understand – you’d never considered yourself part of camp masochist before you met Mike, but he’d done a stellar job at changing that. That being said, the bites seemed to hurt you so little that you could hardly imagine it could ever serve that purpose…

"Any others I need to know about."

"Well, I'm a little hesitant now that Mike has openly called the likes of us sick bastards," Marshall smiled apologetically, "and it's not the biting, per se, and definitely not the pain, for me. It's..."

"The blood? You, really?" August seemed both surprised and impressed. "In your line of work? I'd expect you were desensitized by now."

"It's nice to control the amount of blood that's shed, for a change, alright?" He turned to you again. "These are incredibly personal stories, by the way. For your ears only." You were vaguely aware of Sherlocks teeth withdrawing, and you were in no hurry to pull your arm back, much like Sherlock didn’t seem immediately inclined to let go of your hand.

“Why are you even telling me this?” There were some awkward looks between Marshall and August, but suspiciously little answers to your question. After a moment, Mike snarled.

“No. No way. Sick fucks. No, she's mine.” You were in Mikey's arms and on the other side of the room before you even realized anyone had even moved.

“What? You asked slightly panicked, Mike, what's going on?”

“They're trying to gain your trust,” Mike growled, “they're hoping you'll let them...” He didn't have to finish that sentence. They were clearly hoping to use you for lunch.

“Don't be greedy, Mike,” August said.

“Greedy? For not wanting me to become what? A fucking McBloodDrive?”

“Alright,” Sherlock suddenly said, “maybe I need to give you the full lecture, after all.” There was a strange look in his eyes, the same one you’d seen in Mike’s eyes after he... “But first...” Sherlock disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, and returned with a glass of water in one hand and something small in the other.

"Sit down." You were yanked away from Mike - although he was very quick to join you on the couch.

"Drink," Sherlock said as he handed you the glass. The next moment he wrapped you in a blanket. "You're cold." You didn't think to ask how he knew. It was either a super senses thing, or a gift kind of thing. Either way: he knew because he was a vampire. "And take these." He handed you two small pills.

"Alright, now I have to ask... What are these?" You didn’t want to accuse him of attempting to drug you or something, but you weren’t about to take any chances, either.

"Iron supplement, you have a significant deficiency." That wasn't the kind of answer you were expecting to hear.

"How can you tell?" You realized it was a stupid question; it was obviously something in the way your blood tasted, but it just slipped out.

"I did years of research on the impact of vitamin and mineral deficiency on the taste of human blood." Again, not what you had expected. Maybe you should just ditch all your expectations altogether.

"Probab-"

"Marshall, fuck off." He needed to stay out of your head. "Boundaries. For fuck's sake."

"Sorry."

"Sherlock, you said the full lecture comes with slides? Because if so; yes, please. And why are you babying me?"

"Biochemical reaction to the feeding," August explained, "again, he..." He pointed at Sherlock. "... has the full lecture."

"Why don't you take a few minutes to yourself, wrap your head around what happened,” Mike suddenly said. For the millionth time, you wondered how it was possible that he always knew what you wanted before you could even tell him yourself.

"Oh my god." You turned your head so fast you pulled a muscle, but you didn't care. A realization had just hit you square in the face, and you couldn’t believe you’d been so stupid and naive this whole time. "You keep telling Marshall to get out of my head but you... You always know exactly what I want. Let me be very clear, okay. You don't have a monopoly on snooping around in my brain, Mike. I have a monopoly on that. Me and nobody else." The others laughed and Mike looked like a kid who got caught stealing cookies.

"I-'

"No, not you. You don't get to speak. Someone tell me what's the matter with that one."

"He can sense desires," Marshall said, "it's related to my gift. Which makes sense; I'm the one who turned him. Again..."

"Full lecture incoming, I know." So that's why Mike was such an amazing lay. You heard Marshall choke back laughter and were immediately embarrassed.

"If you say that out loud, I'll have Sherlock explain to me just how to kill a vampire and I will come back here and murder you."

"Go think things over in your room, I'll come by in half an hour so we can talk," Sherlock said. It was weird; he hadn't been here long, yet you really did trust him.

"You two; stay out of my head for those thirty minutes," you said, even though you had no idea why, "after that, you can check if I'm alright for Vampires 101."

"That would be Vampire Physiology 101 and An Introduction to the History of Accelerated Symbiotic Evolution."

"Wait, these are actual classes?"

"Why do you think I have slides?" Sherlock raised an eyebrow at you. It was the first time you allowed yourself to take a good look at the man, and you had to admit you found him shockingly attractive. Immediately after the thought crossed your mind, you looked at Marshall, a threat burning behind your eyes. He seemed to understand perfectly.

"You seemed like the type..."

"He teaches," Marshall said, unable to stifle his laughter.

"Where? Vampire university?"

"It's regular university, but the biology department has a few electives. I also teach a mandatory health course at a public high school." Somehow that made so much and so little sense at the same time that it made your head spin.

"I... I need to lie down. Thirty minutes. Starting now."