#(Well... If I minded I'd keep it behind closed doors so go nuts!)

[nimue-hidden-lake]

2 Of My Friends Review Enstars Characters

Except not even I know what I'm talking about

I forced two of my friends to sit down for 2 and a half hours to review the main boys of Ensemble Stars! I cut it down to 91 minutes though because no way I visualize 2 and a half hours. Sit back, grab a snack and hopefully enjoy!

I cannot control what my 2 friends say about the characters, just wanted to note that!

ft @watersofcamelot

[armpirate]

UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 11

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Warnings: Dry humping, thigh riding, male masturbation

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Honestly, I wasn't expecting her to nod shyly when I asked. I really thought she'd send me back home, and take that idea out of my head. Instead, she agreed to let me go up to her place. And now I'm not sure if I'm the one who wants to. I don't even think it'll be a good idea.

Y/n starts walking, thinking I'd be following her up close, but something makes her turn around. Could be she was ready to change her mind. But I'm wrong, again. She's taking her lower lip with her own teeth, hiding it with her upper lip and giving me big puppy eyes when she realizes I'm still sitting on my motorbike.

And holy shit. That shift in her personality. How vulnerable and shy she looks right now, makes all the hesitation go away.

—You aren't coming? —she frowns.

—I am —I nod, and point to my motorbike—. I was... I was going to move it —and I lift my finger, pointing to her entrance door—. I'm moving it there. It seems better.

Nodding, she finally turns around again and makes her way back to her building. Although, when I get back to her, I find her fighting with her door -well, nothing new. I push the door, while she tries to handle the lock with her key. My chest is barely in contact with her back, but the slight touch of her jacket over my oversized t-shirt is making me go nuts by the minute. Y/n looks at me over her shoulder, giving me another shy smile before she finally steps inside the building.

On our way to her place, while we are on the lift, I catch her looking at me several times, making her instantly move her eyes away from me to focus back at the front.

I seriously can't understand what turns me on so much about her, or the attitude she has towards me right now, but I don't care to find out.

And I'm unable to control myself when she closes the door behind her and turns to me. The slightest self control that was remaining for me, disappears when she gives me one of her nervous looks.

I step ahead, making her step back. We do that a few times until her back collides with the wall, and I can't help myself. My lips throw over hers as if I had gone months without kissing anyone -which is actually true-, or as if she had the softest lips I've ever kissed -which is also true. Even the taste of her spit when I dig my tongue in her mouth is able to cloud my thoughts.

Fuck. Why was I avoiding this?

I sense her barely keeping up with the kiss, and I feel her moving her head back while I'm sucking into her lower lip, making a "pop" sound when it's finally released.

We both recover some oxygen, but I'm not done yet. That's why I'm pissed when she moves her head back, moving her lips away, whenever I'm going to kiss her. And Y/n is smiling playfully with my failed attempt. Realizing what I've been trying to avoid was the best thing I could have isn't funny though.

My digits travel from her hips to her jaw, keeping her face in place so I can kiss her again. This time, she digs her tongue inside my mouth first, and that combined with ehr finally touching me -as she lets her fingers slide through my hair-, makes a groan escape my lips with no warning.

I'm dying to pick her up and wrap her thighs around my body, feel her warmth directly on my stomach, but I make the biggest effort to take it as slow as I can when I feel her pressing her thighs together. Just the thought of her pussy drenching her underwear with this kiss is making my cock harden in my boxers.

I guide her to the couch, lips and hands still on her, but trying to keep it as soft and under control as I'm able to. I sit on it, while I keep my hands on her hips so she stays still in front of me.

—Are you alright? —she just nods to my question— Y/n —I call her—, I'll need you to use your words.

—Yes.

—Do you want to stop?

I'm aware of how rushed this could feel for her, and I have no problem stopping right now or at any point if she needs to. And I want to make sure she's alright to keep going, just in case she's too anxious to stop me by herself out of the blue.

—No.

Smirking by the way she encourages me to go on, I untuck her black t-shirt and lift it just enough to put her belly on display, while my fingers trace her curves delicately. The fabric falls sloppily again when my fingers reach to her jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them. I slide them down her thighs, delighting myself with the softness of the skin on her thighs, at the same time I get a taste of her, moving my tongue from the edge of her panties up to the edge of her bra.

Y/n kicks her pants away, and that's enough for me to pull her closer to my body and make her straddle my lap. The warmth that's coming out of her lips, and kicking against mine is making me sick. If it were someone else, I'd be balls deep inside her, but something in her makes me want to tease her, enjoy every single moment. She bends over me to kiss me, but just like she did before, I move my head back playfully. Until I'm the one who can't take it anymore and ends up kissing her fiercely. I still move lower on her skin, breaking the kiss, just to get a taste of her neck. And it seems like a particular spot under her jaw makes her finally drop her hands to each side of my head before she lowers her hips enough. That small friction of her clothed pussy on my growing bulge makes me move my hips up almost unconsciously. Those small moves are feeling way too good to be real.

If she keeps doing this I'll cum on my pants before she ever gets her high.

I move her away, just so her pussy is in direct contact with my right thigh. Her eyes look at me confused, drunk in pleasure and a bit watery, but still questioning why I moved her away. That expression changes back to full pleasure when both hands on her hips guide her moves, back and forwards on my leg. One of my hands moves up to her back, arching it while I still guide her moves with the other hand. I even lift my leg a bit so it'd be easier to get more friction on that particular spot. And that seems to be enough to have her completely fucked up.

Her lips are pressing tight against one another, her hands are grabbing the fabric of the couch as if her life depended on it... and all I can think about is how bad I want to hear those moans she's trying to keep to herself.

Selfish.

I pull her lower lip, making her lips part and get a glimpse of the constant gasps that soon start becoming low moans. I can feel my cock twitch in my boxers when I get the full combo, and I know this will be an image I'd want to tattoo in my brain for later.

—That's it. Let me hear you —I grunt.

The hand on her mouth falls back to my pants, pressing and placing my bulge as comfortably as I can as I delight myself with her.

She looks too fucking hot just riding my thigh to be real.

I see her intentions when she finally looks down at me again, and I rush myself to stop her when she tries to move her hands over mine. Careful not to hurt her, I wrap my fingers around her wrist, to place her arm on her back -on a safe distance from my cock-, while her other hand falls on my chest.

—I'll take care of that later.

—But...

—Just keep riding my thigh and cum for me.

It just takes me to move her body faster and press harder on her clit to have her reach her high in a matter of seconds. Her plumped lips falling open when that moan escapes her body makes me go insane.

I let go of her as she tries to get back to her normal self.

—But you... —I stop her.

—It's alright —I nod, while moving one of her locks behind her ear—. It's the first time, and we'll have a lot of other opportunities. I don't want to rush it for you —I smile—. Either way, I think it'll be enough with your moans to imagine how I'd fuck you while I take care of this —I look down to my crotch for one second, finding a tiny stack, probably caused by my precum—, for now.

I want her to go that far because she's actually ready for it, and not because she feels she has to do it for me. I don't want her to feel forced to do anything.

We stay like that for a few minutes, giving her time to set herself together, before I lift her body and place it next to me. As soon as I do that, the cold hits me on a particular spot that's more humid than the rest of my thigh.

Pecking her lips softly, I get up and walk to the door. There's nothing else for me to do here right now.

—Send me a text when you get home —she asks me.

And that's exactly what I do when I get home. By the time I get there, the boner has finally disappeared and I'm able to think straight, so I just prepare myself something to eat -something that ends up being a sandwich-, while I scroll down my social media and the amount of unseen messages I have.

Laurie, Stepth, Sandra, Amelie, Jen, Mia... they all keep popping up on my insta direct messages. I even get some "intimate" pics that are meant to get my attention, but instead only brings me back to her and what happened earlier.

I can only feel my tip throbbing at the imagination of how her tits would've looked like, bouncing on my face, if I had only taken her whole clothes off. Or how juicy her pussy must've looked under those panties, by the way she drenched my jeans.

When I want to stop myself from thinking further than that, it's too late. My cock is already hard under my pants, and begging for the attention I took away from it at Y/n's place.

I could've sent a text to any of those girls, and they'd be dropping their locations a second after. But not only I made that deal with her and committed not to fuck anyone else, but I highly doubt any other of those girls would be enough right now.

Maybe it's a good time for a shower.

But even when cold water is running over my body, her moans get so fucking audible and real as my imagination starts running wild.

She was only riding my thigh, and she was already moaning that way. The day I fuck her, the world will tear apart just by how angelic and mischevious she sounds.

I finally give in, wrapping my hard-on with my right hand, groaning at the first stroke when my hand moves up to the sensitive tip -that's already leaking precum again. I close my eyes, one hand supporting my weight on the shower wall, while my other hand tries to simulate her pussy. Although it's not as tight and warm as she will feel the first time.

I buck my hips against my own hand, in sync with the moans and images replaying in my head, in sync with the way her body moves with each thrust I make, making her lips part a bit wider every time I go in until my balls clap against her ass.

I'm unable to control my own moans and groans as my high keeps building in, and it only makes me go faster. Fast and tight, closing the grip as much as I can until I finally cum on the shower wall -although deep in my mind, that load has ended deep down her cunt.

What the fuck is she doing to me?

[crmsnmth]

September Sky Chapter Four, Part 10

Addison was digging in her bag as I handed the waiter my card for him to run. Did she really think she was going to pay for herself? Wasn't it her that called this my date? I smiled softly.

"I got this," I said, signing the slip and leaving a nice sized tip. We both stood up, with cardboard carry-out boxes for our forgotten food. We head outside and back to her truck.

The sun was making it's run for sleep, burning everything with fiery oranges and yellows and reds. Clouds caught the light's reflection, bursting into orange flames. It wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm. A perfect spring evening. It wouldn't be much longer before the sun vanished from the horizon.

"Did you maybe want to go for a walk when we get back?" Addison asked quietly. She had already started the truck and backed out of the space. We were sitting at the exit to the parking lot, waiting for a break in the strangely busy traffic. I couldn't believe how well this was going. I hadn't said something awkwardly offensive or utterly stupid. My sarcasm hadn't gotten out of control and I was able to keep my cynicism muffled quietly. Even my normal anxiety seemed to take a break.

"Yeah, for sure," I said. I'm sure she knew what my answer was going to be before she had even thought to ask. I was sure she could read my mind and that if could see herself through my eyes, she would never feel any self-doubt ever again. It just wouldn't be possible anymore.

It wasn't just a question either. It was buying another hour or two of each other's company. An unplanned elongation. It was saying 'I don't want you to leave yet.' She really didn't have to ask. I didn't want to be anywhere but where I was, right there with her.

She parked her truck on Fratney, next to the Irish place. It was in full swing. It had to be miserable some nights, living above that. I'd hate for my floor to vibrate from a loud bass below me. And the never ending sound of a bar would probably drive me completely nuts.

I just left my forgotten food sitting on the seat as I closed the door and crossed around the truck where Addison was waiting. She took my hand and we started off down the sidewalk, leaving the soundtrack of the drunks behind us.

"So are you from around here or are you a drifter?" She asked as we walked. That was one thing about the younger adults in Milwaukee. Some were born right here in the city and never left, and some came from small towns in the state, and some even came from out of state. For some reason that I was never really able to understand, people found Milwaukee charming.

"I'm a drifter. I lived in this really shitty small town called Neillsville, got moved to Oconomowoc when I was sixteen, and finally ended up here," I replied. I'd moved many other places, but a month here or a month there. Nothing substantial. Those three cities were the places I'd set up. "What about you?"

"I've lived around the city most of my life. I guess not the city, but the suburbs. A small neighborhood in West Bend. Once I started going to school I moved here and haven't left. I like this area."

"Me too. It's an accepting place."

"A major melting pot."

"It was perfect for what I needed."

"So, where's Neillsville?" She asked.

"It's about 250 miles north. Right in the center of the state pretty much. When I say shitty small town, I mean shitty small town. It's population I don't even think hits 2000. And most of those 2000 are redneck assholes."

"That sounds horrible."

"That's a huge understatement. My mom and my grandmother still live up there, so every so often I attempt to go up and see them."

"Are you close with your family then?"

[dzpenumbra]

8/7/23

I think I got a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. Pretty crazy, rare occurrance.

I remember having a vivid dream. It was about confrontation on having an opposing opinion... and not wanting to upset them, or anger them. It took place between two settings - my parents' home (no surprise there) and the place where I detoxed off meds (which I had very distinct and prolonged interactions where I was confronted by very difficult people).

I was seeking out the person who ran the place, but I was deliberately being shut out of the group room while they were meeting. Like the door was being held shut to keep me out. I waited in a dark basement-like room. Eventually, two people that I had befriended when I was there came out and invited me to play a video game with them later. The game sucked, I really didn't enjoy it and didn't want to play it. This conversation turned somehow (don't remember) into me being back at my parents' house at night, out by a rock wall. And the conversation was me frankly speaking my mind about the game sucking to another person, a guy I grew up around who's younger than me and he got really into skateboarding and shit. We never really connected much, but he used to be very awkward and anxious, and really grew into his skin which is awesome. But in the dream, I was having to tell him I don't want to play this game... and as I'm doing that, I see two baby wolf pups sitting on the rock wall to my left. And I hear movement behind me and I see a big scraggly overweight mother wolf prowling the yard behind me. I would've easily mistaken it for an overweight domesticated dog if it weren't for the markings. So... I had to go between the mother and the pups to get back to where I was living above my parents' garage, which is like... the last place you ever want to be. But I did, and it went completely fine. Then I explained to the guy on the phone that like... just because I don't like the game doesn't mean it's complete shit. The graphics were surprisingly good, it had a unique art style, the physics and particles were well done. I just didn't like the gameplay, and that's important to me. So I related it to him that like... when I'm saying "it's shit", I don't mean 1/10... I mean like 4-5/10. And that it was just my opinion. And that seemed to chill him out.

I get so gun-shy about shit like that. I don't even know exactly when it started, honestly. For god's sake, I used to write game reviews and shit. I used to debate people online. So many fucking things have changed in my persona ever since my PTSD started fucking ramping up and spreading like a virus. It's nuts.

If I had to trace it to something, I'd say it was my brushes with death that really started knocking some sense into me. Really starting to process how real this shit was, how fleeting and impermanent life is. How careless and thoughtless we often are with the feelings and experiences of those around us. I see it clear as fucking day now. It's like I used to live with those horse blinders on? And I only really thought about my present experience and the experience of those directly close to me, those I cared deeply for... then those blinders just got ripped off by moments of... god, how do I describe it... like an acute moment of extreme awareness. Like... you're playing a video game in 1st person perspective and suddenly someone walks in and hits a button and the camera zooms out to 3rd person perspective, and you can swing that camera around to see behind you and look around corners and shit. You know, the shit they tend to disable in competitive gaming because it gives an unrealistic and unfair advantage.

Ever since I reached adulthood, around 18, I have periodically had those moments. Often at extremely inconvenient times... like when I was really high. Or when I was at the grocery store, and then suddenly aware of every single person in the store at the same time, living their own separate stories, getting their own special ingredients, thinking their own unique thoughts. And the sheer scope of it all just fucking sent me into sensory overload. Overwhelm. This happened to the point where I deliberately avoided grocery stores and I didn't even know why, they were just "too much".

I think starting to detox off Xanax started cracking that open again... maybe even amplified it... combined with studying and practicing spirituality, and having death/loss strike in close proximity. I started to become hyper aware of the experience of other people. But the important thing to remember with that, which I have to constantly remind myself... is that you do not know someone else's experience. It's just hypothesis, they're guesses. Some can be shockingly on-the-nose guesses, but they're guesses. No one can actually read minds. But... they can be very deeply compassionate, deeply imaginative and knowledgeable about human psychology. And that can lead to some pretty good guesses.

I'm trying to connect this to the skatepark today. But I'm missing a key component. See... I was getting at the whole "I care very deeply for the experience of those around me" thing. And it really is a huge part to try to be a contributing member of society, that my contributions to the lives of others is one that makes their lives better. That I am considerate. But... the other piece... is trauma. Because... it's not just wanting people to be happy... it's also not wanting people to get angry. Or yell at me. Or hurt me. Or punish me. Or take things away from me.

I don't know how to handle that part. And it was pretty dominant today. Like... in the context of the dream... I should really be able to say "I don't like this game." I am 100% entitled to my opinion, and I have very good reasons behind that opinion, too. It's not just a snap judgement, they're just... standards. But I seriously feel like if I share an opinion that others don't agree with, I'm going to get a fucking gun pulled on me. And I definitely think that's a trauma response. How fucking realistic is that? Is that what the internet did to me? Maybe, in part. It's really deeply rooted. (Pretty sure it's family...)

So... with the context of the dream and everything, I watched this YT video today... it was a series where this guy goes and walks around NYC with street photographers as they work, and it was with a guy named Trevor Wisecup. I legit remember his name, that's crazy. He's a weird quirky guy, 100% an artist. And his thing is just going around and snapping pictures of people on the streets and capturing scenes that are compelling to him. And the video was called "Confidence and Confrontations in Street Photography". There was a part where a dude straight up got in his face and started threatening him. Like threatened to end his life if he saw him again. Because a professional published artist took his photograph. ... Because a professional published artist thought his appearance and aesthetic was so memorable and... archetypal? I guess? Iconic? That he had to capture it. And this guy's response... is to go "do you know who I am?! I'm not the kind of guy you want to fuck with, man." That kinda shit. As though Trevor had spit on him or something.

It reminded me of like... how there were stories about how primitive tribes would attack European explorers because they thought the camera was stealing their souls or something. It's shocking, and so fucking many people do this, from all walks of life! It's so weird! Most of us are on security cameras every day, I guarantee it. Our social media is literally being recorded... indefinitely? For some reason? That no one can really explain why... I guess, you know... in case we need some stream of live-tweets of the Barbie movie in 10 fucking years. Then it's there. Thank fucking god. It's like this whole species is hoarding or something.

But it's batshit how aggressive people get when you photograph or film them without their consent or knowledge. It's nuts. Even when it's explicitly legal. Even when they're filmed every time they walk into a store or go to an ATM or whatever. "I don't know what you're going to do with that photograph, man." "Well, you sure don't seem to think it's anything good..."

But Trevor just stood there and made eye contact and had this guy like 6 inches away from his face screaming at him, and just took it. And just explained he's documenting life on Madison Avenue. And Mr. Big Man threatened him, tried to get him to delete it... then was told it was a film camera... so he gave up on that pretty quick... Then strutted off like he was hot shit. And holy crap did Trevor just take it in stride. It blew my mind. I would literally be shaking after that. My nervous system would have my whole body trembling like I just survived a car accident.

And Trevor had a great point in summing that interaction up after the fact - "...that was super aggressive ... but it was fine. Like... did I react negatively? I listened. All you've got to do is listen. Did he put his hands on me? No. As long as they don't put their hands on me, we're chillin. Am I gonna let that rattle me? No. It's life. It is what it is."

Yeah, man. I wish my nervous system could agree with you there. Mentally, I can get there. But physically, it's like the Enterprise bridge during Red Alert. It's hard to will yourself through that when your body is fucking screaming "DANGER, DANGER".

For so long, I've had so much admiration for people like this... and like Eric Andre and the Jackass guys. Their livelihood depends on their ability to just get in front of people and get genuine reactions like this out of them. I mean... I guess less so with Trevor, he's not deliberately trying to provoke people like Eric Andre does... he's trying to capture the authentic human experience. And... getting their permission just ruins the scene. It ruins the moment and creates a completely new one. The second you say "hey, can I take your picture?" People fucking pose. They make stupid faces and adjust themselves and hide their warts and stand up straight and show their stupid bullshit Instagram/Youtube thumbnail caricature faces. And the moment is gone, replaced by a glamourous photoshoot.

Don't get me wrong, there's a place for that. That's an art within itself. But capturing real authentic moments and staging scenes are very different artforms.

So yeah, I was really compelled by his ability to handle that. I wondered how often he's been through that kind of situation for him to be that well acclimated to it. Maybe beaten up in school, maybe at home. Speculation, of course. But I was very deeply inspired, and he put it in really relatable terms. But even now, I find myself asking the same question - "yeah, but what if he does put hands on you?" And honestly? That's a fucking lawsuit. So... I guess let it happen? I mean... does Mr. Fancy $1000 Suit really want to like... have to tell his boss he's going to court because he attacked some artist on the street who tried to take his picture? Is he really going to keep his job after that? Idk. It really does make me wonder how often moments like that actually do escalate. And it really doesn't seem that often.

Relating that to the skatepark... I went skating today. I took the same neighborhood route, I like it a lot now. Much less traffic. More stop signs, but... less traffic and a safer feeling neighborhood makes the ride much more comfortable. I found myself looking forward to the cruise home.

When I got there, there were 4 people there, college-aged people. The guys were above my skill level, the girls were close to mine. And I, again, had the earbuds in. And I skated a bunch. Worked on noseslides more, tried to pop FS 180s higher, tried to find the nosemanual "pinch" on the toe side, which actually really does help hold the manual better... it's just a whole new thing trying to get used to putting my weight in that specific spot. Not a lot of new stuff, honestly. The FS half cab was much easier today for some reason, I landed almost all of them, I just struggle to pop them very high. Yeah, nothing really too special, nothing new. I tried to get a little more used to fakie ollie, that went a bit better. And tried practicing nollie more, but I'm struggling with my back foot drag. I think my stance isn't squared away enough, idk.

I'm gonna get a drink real quick before this next part, which ties into the whole "confrontation" anxiety shit. So... the college aged guys that were there never even made eye contact with me. The girls would skate close sometimes, but again... barely even acknowledged that I was there. And yeah, maybe it's weird for them? That's like... more than a 10 year difference, I'd wager... probably close to 15. I'm probably as old as some of their professors. Maybe that's weird for people? Idk. And I really don't want to weird people out. I deeply struggle to approach people and introduce myself, it's just something from a very young age I was not only not encouraged to do, I'm pretty sure I was punished for. This doesn't mean I'm not friendly and I don't love meeting new people, it means the act of initiation is something I deeply deeply struggle with.

One of my greatest accomplishments in my life was mustering up the courage to ask out my crush in college. I'm still so proud of Past Me, even if I did deserve better. That was I think one of the only times I've ever asked anyone out. So... yeah, when my anxiety is sky-high, initiating conversation never translates in my imagination as "oh here's a friendly guy coming over and introducing himself because he wants to get to know other people at the skatepark", it's "who the fuck is this weird old guy coming up to me with the fancy grip art job when he can't even skate". Note to self - whose judgement is that? (mine) Is it fair to these strangers to assume that low of them? (no)

So... as far as the girls were concerned, like... we were all around the same ability. I was working on noseslide and one of the girls tried it and couldn't do it... but could do some other tricks I struggle with. So, like... we could've exchanged trick tips! That would've been cool. But... I didn't want to potentially upset them. So... yeah, I end up just... having AirPods in and listening to my music and just skating and standing around by myself. And it kinda sucks. Like... I get what I'm there for, and I love it, don't get me wrong... but it sucks that every other person I see at the skatepark is there with a friend. Every one.

The girls and the guys all left after a while, but another pair of skaters showed up. These guys were a bit closer to my age. One seemed really close. And he actually skated by me and said "hey" while I was pouring sweat and taking a break. And I had the earbuds in, so I popped them out, but he was already gone. And it was just us three at the skatepark for a while. And... yeah. I just... even though he broke the ice? I couldn't bring myself to introduce myself. It just... my mind just went blank. I don't know, I guess I froze. It's weird. Like... trying new tricks feels easier than that, and trying new tricks in front of strangers is tough when you're anxious, man. I'd like... cheer when they did cool tricks, and chipped in some commentary when he was getting close to landing a really cool trick that they were filming. But it was just... the whole interaction, all of it? It was just so alien. It's just been so long. It's not natural for me anymore. Walking over to complete strangers and getting to know them is no longer natural. Drifting off into my head and doing things solo is.

I popped out the AirPods after he tried to say hi, in case we had another run-in and he tried again. But that didn't come, and I felt like I missed the window. I skated the rest of the time without the AirPods.

Eventually I got worn out. I was out there for about an hour. I guess I'm not in the best shape, but I was skating a good chunk of the time. I just decided to go cruise home a bit early, before the mosquitos got too bad. Right as I packed up, another solo skater showed up. Maybe a friend for another day, idk. I was already leaving. And as I walked across the grass, I looked back and the guy who said hi waved at me, and I waved back.

So... I think my whole lack of confidence in approaching people is because I don't want to upset them or make them uncomfortable. And I think that might be... a self-esteem thing. I think it might actually be depression/self-image related. Like... if I thought I was really attractive and really relatable and cool, why would I think people would get upset by me approaching them? Why would I think people would get uncomfortable? It's so odd because this narrative is not explicit in my head. I don't know why I think people might get uncomfortable. Like, with the girls, I was afraid they might think I was trying to flirt with them or something. The guys around my age? I have no fucking clue, honestly. I really don't. Maybe I'm intimidated by their ability? And I'm just inwardly thinking... what do they stand to gain from hanging out with my "few steps above beginner" ass?

Well... maybe it's not about who can do the most or coolest tricks, its about doing something you love with other people who also love that thing. And maybe it's just about meeting new people and not like... comparing yourself to them.

I was like... okay, I'm gonna say it. The dude who said hi was smoking a cigarette when he first got there. And the whole time, I was like... if I still smoked, all I'd have to do is bum a smoke and that's the icebreaker I need. And then we're having a conversation. Done and done. Because, as a former smoker from age 17 to 34... that's how I learned how to meet people. That's how I socialized. "Got a light?" "Can I bum a smoke?" And then you have a smoking buddy, and you're in a conversation for at least 5 minutes. And I still don't have a replacement for that. I still don't have a smooth, suave icebreaker to replace that. It's like I never learned how to... meet people... without cigarettes or a third party introduction.

So yeah, I think my insecurity anxieties are feeding off my depression, my low self-image. I still don't know what to do with the college age people, there's a lot of them around... and when I was in college, I didn't hang out with anyone in their mid-to-late 30's. I don't think I would've really had a problem with it? I guess... I guess I just don't really know how they view me? What I look like from their eyes. And I want to prevent them from viewing me in a bad light, and make sure they're comfortable and don't feel threatened by me... so my way of like... controlling that situation... is by keeping distance and letting them make the first move.

But... that probably sends a message that I don't want to hang out. I mean, I'm on the edge of the park, skating back and forth by myself with earbuds in and not talking to anyone. That may not send the message "I want to hang out."

Oh, and I had a mini anxiety attack but I handled it super well. I kept smelling something... septic. Something that smelled like rot. I don't really know how to put that any better. I don't think it was the smell of meat rotting, but it was definitely rot. Like black sludge you'd find in a swamp kinda smell. I guess it was probably coming from the woods? But I only got wafts of it and I had a moment where I just went... "is that me? Do I have a rotten tooth or something and I just don't know it?" In the past, that would've been enough for me to spiral. But I handled it really well and it barely went anywhere, but I bet it contributed to me being anxious about introducing myself.

Anyway, I had a great ride home and honestly just wanted to keep riding. I might just go on a long ride one of these days, I think it'd be fun. When I got home, I started working on the deer. I worked the rest of the night on it, in fact. And... it's... mostly done? I did a prototype on paper to see whether I wanted to do color or greyscale. I ended up going with greyscale. Unfortunately, my black fabric pen seems to be running low on ink. That... sucked. But I made up for it with dark grey, it worked fine.

The deer went from blocky color to like... more realism style? Surprisingly. The cloth is actually pretty tough to work on. I can just sorta drybrush ink on top to get a light color, or really let it soak in to get the full color, but... there's a risk of blowouts. And the weird part about it was how the ink would sorta balloon out and be darker along the edges of where you let it soak in, rather than be uniform. That was unexpected. But I managed to get the outline, the fill and most of the detail work done too, honestly. It's pretty close to done. I just need to work on the body more. And I'm still on the fence about just doing linework around the whole thing. I tried to soften a lot of the linework so it didn't have a solid black outline around the whole thing... though I really don't mind that stylistically and it really makes the image pop out... I thought it would be smart to outline with the lightest grey I have, and then I can just darken if I want later on. You can always go darker, but you can never go lighter.

So I did that and it went surprisingly well and surprisingly fast. And... now I'm just going to not look at it for half a day so that I can get fresh eyes on it... and then move on from there!

I also posted on a more art business focused subreddit about this graphic design commission and how to price my shit in this situation and I got some helpful feedback. It was made pretty clear that $200 is like... super underselling myself. I just... I feel very incompetent with money with shit like this.

This guy (in his admittedly likely not truthful words, but his words) sought me out because of "my style". He knew I was not a graphic designer. I told him upfront that I don't know how to use the software and that this is way outside my wheelhouse. Which, if you like my style... you should know that... So... he should expect this to take me like... 5x as long as a normal project, right? I mean... he's a welder, and this is like me asking him to fix my computer. Come on, welding, soldering, it's like the same shit, right?

So... I have to come up with a new magic number. And make it make sense in the invoice. And... it was brought to my attention that he may just... flake out on the invoice. Maybe these are people that had been burned before, but one seemed pretty convinced that if I hadn't been paid yet? I shouldn't expect to be paid for this. And yeah, that's par for the course. And if he wants to give me a reason to never speak to him again, he's more than welcome at this point. Definitely ain't gonna get a good client review from me if he does that, and I'll have the paper trail to prove it.

But yeah, I just have literally no one to talk to about pricing, and it seems like no one online wants to help either. So... I'll just have to wing it. But I'm not going to stress about that right now. I'm trying to wind down for the night.

Before I went to bed last night, I checked the schedule for the board game store near me. They do monthly (?) mixers where people can come by and meet other people, either looking for a date or at least a friend. First Sunday of the month. And I've been trying to get myself to go for like... 5 months now? And I just... always start my day too late. It was from noon to 5 today. And I got up around 2. And I decided that I was going to start my day and do my yoga and eat breakfast and then... just see where that goes. And by the time I was done with all that... it was like 4. So... I kinda chickened out. It could've been cool, it might've just been the skatepark thing all over again, but with nothing to do solo... Who knows? But hey, maybe next month I'll be confident enough to go.

Alright, wrapping up before 2 tonight, not too shabby.

[dearcraziness]

Chapter 78.

On one of the cloudy days, the devils were spending their time at home in a measured way - Bendy was twisting pipes in the Spare tools Room, Lara was reading a new issue of the Ink City News in her room. Raindrops were slowly rolling down the glass of the slightly open window ; moisture from outside brought freshness and clean summer air. The noise outside the window delighted the ear with its monotony and rhythmicity, gently enveloping the mind with iridescent, luminous thoughts.

The young man closed the door, paving the way to his beloved with his gaze. The wizard entered quietly, approaching the desk. He conjured himself a second pair of hands, so that he could hug the girl; support the magazine she was looking at from behind; gently stroke the tip of her ponytail; run his palms through her hair, gently twisting long curls in turn on a huge finger.

"Have you found some interesting news for yourself, cinnamon?" the demon asked, warmly kissing the imp on the cheek and forehead. "Looks like you have plans to visit a new place - I see a ray of delight in your eyes."

"That's right, ginger, a boutique with fashionable clothes and stylish dresses in Western Edge will open in a week." the demoness smiled. "I'm thinking of going there to see the outfits."

"Great, I'll keep you company. By the way, about future plans..." the devil looked away, continuing his thought. "Do you remember, we were choosing holiday houses and found a wonderful option for ourselves: five rooms, two bathrooms, a spacious but cozy kitchen, a small living room, a spacious attic - and all in calm colours! A well-maintained terrace and a beautiful garden, turning immediately into a dense dense forest... On the other side of the house there's a veranda with indoor plants, a small glam-style building, completely glazed. Berry, shall we go to the 'Green Oasis' for a couple of weeks?"

"I'd love to spend time alone with you, nut." Lara raised her eyes, meeting Bendy's gaze. "Let's not waste a minute."

"I take you at your word!... An unforgettable journey awaits us, because every day with you, like a holiday, brings a sea of vivid impressions and precious memories..."

A couple of hours later, when Bendy prepared dinner in advance for friends left in the studio, the devils said goodbye to Boris and Alice and moved into the dimension of Ever-Blooming Plants. Sweethearts were observing the accommodation and were very satisfied with the interior in warm colours and brilliant furnishings. The young man and the girl, being in home clothes, remained in the small bedroom located on the right side of the corridor. Opposite the bed hung an ordinary widescreen TV, which the demon soon turned on; a movie was shown on the channel "Romance Forever", which interested the wizards, but soon caused mixed emotions with its twisted plot. Lara heard a funny quick dissatisfied murmur of her beloved and smiled.

"I don't understand, first Dylan meets with Jessica, then confesses his feelings to Marissa and says he has been in love with her for a long time... What's going on, anyway? Moreover, the characters are so frivolous about each other, as if this should make someone laugh. I know everyone has their own preferences, but is it really difficult to make a film about sincere feelings, touching love at least once in ten years? Where the characters, first of all, think about the well-being of their beloved and really worry about each other. But it turns out otherwise - solid comedies with strange humor - I don't even see a single funny episode, only attempts to joke. Simply put, it's all nonsense. Garbage."

The demon noticed the girl's soft laugh and smiled himself, stroking his precious head, her torso.

"Perhaps I'm reacting too emotionally to the behavior of others again..."

"It's okay, I'm always curious to know your opinion..."

"So do I, Laurie... And I suppose you would have watched the show on another channel."

"Yeah, let's see what sports are being played on the third channel..."

"What if football is being shown... It would be great to see the game live somehow, of course..."

The darkness of the night covered the forest wilderness, only the edge of the moon, emerging from under the clouds, illuminated the paths between trees and bushes. The lights went out in the bedroom, a peaceful silence reigned in the house.

The next morning, Bendy was putting the dish on plates and noticed Lara coming in and sitting down, waiting for goodies. Although, there was something missing in her pajamas... The demon blushed, cautiously asking, "Peony, shall I get you some shorts?... You probably feel cold without them."

"No thanks, I didn't wear them on purpose."

"Alright, just asked you in case you forgot..." the young man's voice sounded somewhat shaky.

The demon looked down and smiled nervously.

"You know, seeing you practically in your underwear feels like a privilege..."

"Good... I am pleased - when we are alone, you don't wear your magic costume..."

"Only you know how suits and other clothes look on me without the magical small transformations of my body... I have nothing to hide from you..."

"I understand now why you hide some parts of your body with magic..." Lara said, glancing below Bendy's waist and shifting her eyes to the side. The imp abruptly moved his lips, fidgeting in his chair trying to gather his thoughts into legible sentences.

"The main thing is that we always have a great time together; whether we are embarrassed in front of each other or not, we are equally comfortable, because you and I are able to talk even about awkward topics... Laurie, let me add : you constantly delight, surprise, attract, inspire me unimaginably... Whether you are dressed in sportswear or an evening dress, a bathrobe covers your whole body or you walk in underwear - you're incredibly beautiful and alluring to me in any case, you're very seductive and sexy, my honey miracle..."

"Finally, after seven years, you began to linger with your eyes not only on my face..."

"I just used to think it was impossible to look at the other parts of your body... But recently you convinced me the opposite..."

"I do this sometimes, why can't you?..."

"I was worried I'd make you uncomfortable or seem cheeky..."

"Don't worry, none of the above happened..."

"I also don't mind at all when you look at different parts of my body... Every piece of me belongs to you, whether it's my flesh or heart, soul..."

"After such catchy phrases, I won't be able to express my embarrassing sentence, well, it's okay..." the demoness hastily smiled.

"No, no, fishy, your words will only strengthen the warm mood of our conversation; the ideal moment to tell about your thoughts is the one in which your thoughts appeared... What were you thinking about, Laura?..."

"It just flashed through my head..."

"Yes, emerald?..."

"Even through your shorts, I can see your reproductive organ is quite long..."

"Oh, h-hope when we get intimate in the future, it'll give you pleasure... Damn, I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, dear..."

"Why?... I like to listen to your thoughts... There's nothing to apologize for, I like your words..."

"I just meant I like to give you happiness in different ways... I want to do with you what you want, fill your every day with bright emotions..."

The day of sweethearts proceeded smoothly and comfortably; Bendy and Lara happily and enthusiastically engaged in the usual creative activities, playing board games, solving a couple of puzzles; however, when evening came, a burning desire penetrated into the hearts to give each other pleasant feelings in a different way; putting aside collections of crosswords and sudoku, the devils began to caress each other with their lips, lying on the bed; the demon hugged his beloved gently and tightly, she was stroking his head and horns...

"My lovely flower, let me leave traces of kisses not only on your mesmerizing face... I want to cover your whole fascinating body with kisses... In the places where you allow me, of course..."

Later, sweethearts finished their drawins, praising each other, as usual, and gathered to walk along the inviting green paths with amazing nature; Bendy took a small box out of the drawer of the bedside table and, hiding the gift behind his back, approached Lara with the words, "Baby, before we go to explore the impressive landscapes of the dense forest, may I ask you one question?..."

"Of course, my ruby, go ahead..."

"We have spent so many years together, and I consider all the years of my life the best thanks to you... Probably, even after saying 'thank you' millions of times, I won't sufficiently describe my appreciation and admiration for you... I love absolutely everything about you: your behavior, your character, your habits, your opinion, your spiritual qualities, your sensitive heart, your irresistible appearance, your coal eyes full of miracles... But most of all I love you just for being who you are, I adore your magical personality... Stay true to yourself and your preferences, my comet, all your friends will be here to support you; I'm forever your most ardent fan... I wish to share eternity with you, go through every stage of our relationship and please you day after day, fulfilling your cherished dreams; you and your happiness are my priority, your smile illuminates the meaning of my destiny... I'm grateful to you simply for your existence; I'm glad to write the pages of our history with you... And so I decided to find out if you would like to..."

The imp swallowed sharply, bending the fingers of his free right hand, and continued, "Laura, would you like to... Be my fiancee?..."

The young man presented a gift at the moment, opening a cream case in front of his beloved; inside, on a little pillow, lay a smooth bracelet made of white gold with pendants: each figure reflected the interests of the girl, hobbies close to her soul. The imp looked at the decoration in surprise and, smiling good-naturedly, replied, "Of course, Bendy... I will be your fiancee..."

"Glad you accepted my offer, my little devil... Let me put a bracelet on your elegant wrist..."

The demoness stretched out her arm, bent at the elbow; the wizard placed the jewelry and kissed his beloved's hand.

"You will mean everything to me endlessly, Laurie... I strive to constantly turn your plans into reality..."

"Thank you, Bendie... I noticed the details on the wonderful bracelet reflect my hobbies, I really appreciate your observation and your care..."

"You know, my little mermaid, my key desire is to warm your soul, to evoke warm emotions in you; I intend to give you even more love, attention, affection, sensitivity; take everything I have, because I only want the best for you..."

"Believe me, my dear, you are enough for me... I think we have an amazingly spectacular future together..."

"You're completely right, my dearest, don't even doubt what has been said..."

"It turns out you are..."

"Yes, moonlight?... Please continue..."

"Will you ask me to marry you soon?..."

"Oh, sugar, of course, I plan to ask your hand in marriage, but not in the near future... I'll ask you the marvelous question earlier, if you wish... I think we both need to reflect a little on the proximity of the moment of our wedding..."

"I don't mind if we slightly postpone the date... I hope we understood each other correctly..."

"Definitely, honey, I'm not rushing you at all... No need to hurry - there is an eternity ahead of us... Are you ready for our miraculous journey, raspberry?..."

"Right, orange, let's go..."

"I'll certainly take a picture of you against the background of picturesque landscapes... I won't miss the chance to capture your brilliant beauty..."

The path turned out to be excellent: the devils saw a lot of fantastic plants, fabulous animals, magnificent birds, glorious rocks on their way; on the same day, the young man filled the album with new photos and, together with his beloved, examined the moments of the past day remained in numerous pictures.

"And here, behind you, multicoloured caihongs flew by, leaving a pinkish trail with a flap of their wings..." the demon pointed to the upper right corner. "Oh, a wide rainbow in the sky got into the frame, great..."

"We saw enchanting places..."

"They have become even more wondrous, because you were walking on them, sweetie... Your attraction spreads its rays to the nearest objects..."

"I love your compliments, my sugarpie..."

"I love you very much, vanilla..."

Bendy bent down and began to kiss Lara on the top of her head, on her temple, on her nose, on her closed eyes, on her cheeks, on her chin, on her lips. She smiled, and his face lit up with joy.

"I'd like you to put hickeys on my body again... And I'd do that on yours..."

"S-since you don't mind, dear, we'll repeat last night's activity... Love touching you with my lips, hugging you for a long time..."

The devils were kisding each other with their mouths slightly open, hotly, but carefully, trying to convey their affection, tenderness. The traces of love stained the bodies of sweethearts, their faces, even their tails with dark spots; the honey sensation grew on a grand scale, as if accelerating the hands on the clock...

Suddenly a phone call rang. Bendy, without stopping kissing Lara, extended his right hand and turned off the sound of the melody on his device.

"What if something important happened..." the girl suggested.

"Nothing can be more important than you and your desires, love..." the demon replied, again surrounding the girl's waist with both hands, twisting his arms around the body, legs of the imp in the form of a spiral in a magical way. The end of his tail was gently stroking her little tip, which was lying on the amethyst bed. "Let the world wait..."

The devils tuned in to continue the conceived ideas, but they were again prevented by the signal of Lara's mobile. The dark-haired lady picked up the phone and said, "Yes, Alice?... Is there any trouble in the studio by any chance?..."

"Oh, no, no, it's okay." the angel's voice rang out. "Boris and I are looking for boxes with decorative crafts, we assumed you took them last time..."

"Hmm, I don't remember their location..." the girl confessed.

"They are in the second small warehouse..." the young man said quietly, but audibly for the sorceress, continuing to touch with his lips and tongue the areas of the beloved's skin, uncovered by clothes.

"That's right, they're in the second small warehouse." Laura answered her interlocutor on the phone. "Good luck with your crafts."

"Thanks. Hey, aren't you busy right now?..."

"In general, we were going to devote the evening to a special kind of creativity..." the imp began, and the demon smiled when he heard her words.

"I wanted to take just a couple of minutes..." said the brunette with a halo over her head.

"I just have a few minutes... Bendy and I still have urgent business to attend to..." the edges of the girl's lips lifted higher after the end of the phrase ; a wide smile spread across the young man's face.

The demoness was talking with her friend about her future plans for adventures in fashion clothing boutiques, or rather, for the most part, she was listening to Alice's intentions to visit almost every fashion house in Verssia and Glabgon. The demon was kissing his beloved hotly, lovingly, sitting over her, bending his knees and tightly wrapping her in his caring embrace. He felt her pulse; his head was so close to her that when he listened, he noticed the steady beating of her heart; his horns were right next to her neck - he admired her calm and imperturbable voice; stroking her forearm with his palm, he stopped his fingers, and for a moment it seemed to him as if he felt the movement of ink through her veins, which he didn't even see with his eyes...

The demon watched the expression of the beloved's face and after ten minutes found out she clearly wanted to end the conversation, because the thought of kissing clearly possessed her. The young man approached the imp's face and whispered in her ear, "Tell her it's time for you to go, otherwise you won't have time to finish the things you started today, or you're going to carry out all the planned activities and arrange an evening of creativity, something like that..."

Lara smiled, covering the demon's lips with her finger. The devil kissed her phalanges, hand, palm, wrist, moving to other parts of her body, as the girl removed her hand, dropping it on a soft pillow, where she was met by a huge imp's hand, gently stroking the sorceress's palm, then firmly, lovingly tsking her hand.

"Okay, Alice, I have to go... Once when I'm back, we'll definitely visit all the planned places, agreed?..."

"Oh, of course, see you soon..."

"Bye, good luck to you..."

The demoness clicked the 'end of conversation' icon, intended to put the phone back in place, however, the young was faster, carefully took the device from her hands and returned it to the bedside table.

"Finally we are truly alone..." the demon said.

"I like to talk to Alice, but right now my thoughts aren't about shopping or new clothes at all..." Lara said.

"I don't understand why it was necessary to call to discuss the purchase of new outfits?... You would have come back, and you would have had a great live conversation..."

"Apparently, she wanted to share her ideas as soon as possible..."

"Now no one will distract us for sure..."

Closer to midnight, sweethearts managed to stop covering each other with kisses, they were sharing their feelings from the past evening. Bendy was hugging the girl tightly, she relaxed her hands into a lock, resting her head on the young man's chest.

Soon, when Lara looked at her hands, she saw a pretty detail on her palms.

"Judging by your smile, cupcake, you liked the traces of kisses in the form of hearts..."

"Even here you show creativity..."

"How else, Larry?... You're the very embodiment of art..."

"I understand, dear, you like to compliment me..."

"Your unsurpassed inner and outer attractiveness deserve reverent and constant attention, sapphire... You're the only beautiful creature for me..."

After a minute Bendy added, "Kissing you is always so astonishing in a good way, as if for the first time... Your hickeys really excite my mind, even right now..."

"I'd love to continue our kissing, but..."

"Are you tired and you want to sleep?... Then, of course, caramel, let's go to rest..."

Bendy fluffed up a pillow for his beloved and, covering her with a blanket, kissed her on the forehead.

"Sweet dreams to you, fruitcake..."

"Good night, marshmallow..."

"Tomorrow we'll definitely have unforgettable, breathtaking moments..."

[kingdaddydaichi]

Scent ⁘ Kakashi Hatake x f!reader ⁘ NSFW

( Source )

Got another one for y'all for my husband's birthday...💙👑💍

MINORS 👏🏼 DO 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 INTERACT 👏🏼

A/N: Kakashi's sensitive sense of smell and your arousal. This is some raw, primal, feral, filthy Kakashi. If you're looking for soft, sweet, sensitive Kakashi, keep scrolling please, negl.

Warnings: scent kink, drunk sex, lots of sexual bodily fluids (m & f), face fucking, slight dubcon, squirting, facial

Word Count: 1.8k

Asuma and Kurenai are hosting one of their infamous dinner parties at their home. These things always end up the same way. Lots of friends come over, eat, then proceed to drink bottle after bottle of sake while playing drinking games until the music starts blasting and everyone loses several brain cells and have a great time making complete fools of themselves. They truly are the absolute best parties.

Kakashi doesn't frequent these parties, but you do seeing as how Kurenai is your sister from another mister. She knows about your long-time crush on Kakashi and winks at you when she sees the two of you hanging out together, talking, laughing.

His fingers brush across your arms or back every chance they can. You know exactly what you're doing when you lean forward with your arm crossed under your bosom. And Kakashi knows exactly what you're doing too. Sure enough, you're getting turned on just by talking to him and exchanging flirty looks, words, and touches.

You excuse yourself to go to the restroom, adding a little extra sway to your hips knowing he's watching you walk away. It's not the first time he has smelled the scent of your arousal, but his inhibitions have been doused in alcohol and he decides to make his move.

When you open the door to leave the bathroom, Kakashi just so happens to be waiting on the other side. You smile and twirl your hair, feeling yourself getting wetter. Your inhibitions are down as well, the alcohol giving you the courage to taunt him a little.

"Wow Kakashi, if I didn't know better I'd think that you followed me back here". He closes his eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths through his nose. "Kakashi, are you okay?"

He opens his eyes, his pupils blown wide, and stalks closer to you. You step backwards into the bathroom and he closes the door behind you.

"I can smell you".

"Oh?" You remember his ultra-sensitive sense of smell and begin to panic a little. Oh god, do I smell bad?

He takes another intentional whiff of you, your scent now more concentrated due to proximity and close quarters, never mind the fact that you're steadily getting more and more turned on by him.

"Mm...you smell..." He takes another deep breath. "...amazing".

"Really? I'm not wearing perfume or anything-"

"It's not that. Better than that. It's your scent".

"W-what do you mean?"

You watch as his lusty gaze dips from your eyes to your center. "I can smell your arousal".

Your mouth opens and you take a step back. "Y-you can?"

The edge of the double vanity is now directly behind you, so when he pushes himself against you, there's nowhere else to go. You're surprised to feel him so hard already, looking down to see the material of his pants being pushed out by his erection. Hell, you can even see the outline of the head of his cock, his bigger than average size making itself apparent.

"What are you gonna do, Kakashi?"

He smooths his hands along your thighs and hips, pushing your short skirt up before picking you up and setting you on the edge of the counter. The cool granite contrasts with your bare heat since you're not wearing any panties. The excitement, the fear, and the need for him all mix together in an exhilarating juxtaposition of desire. You hadn't been expecting this at all, but you don't want him to stop. Now that it's happening you're too curious to see what he's going to do next. How far will he go?

He brushes his thumb across your bottom lip, and you open your mouth to suck it in. You close your eyes and swirl your tongue around his digit before he pulls it out slowly and places it against your weeping slit, dragging it back and forth over your clit, pulling a moan from your parted lips. He looks you dead in the eye, pulls his mask down, and it's his turn to bring his thumb to his lips, swirling his tongue around it before sucking on it. "Mm fuck, you taste good too".

God, he's beautiful. Your gaze dips from his slate grey and red eyes down to his pretty lips, which are punctuated by a soft beauty mark just below the left corner of his mouth. You wouldn't have thought it possible, but now you want him more than ever. You squirm against the counter, smearing your slick on it as you seek relief from the hard surface pressing against your opening. At the same time, Kakashi's been grinding his cock against the cabinet below, seeking some relief of his own.

He pulls his shirt over his head before reaching down to unbuckle his belt. He unbuttons and unzips his pants before pushing the waistband of his boxer briefs down enough for his large cock to spring free, slapping the skin just below his navel, leaving a string of precum in its wake along his silver happy trail.

He breathes in deeply again, the combination of your scent and flavor making him crazy. He pulls you to the edge of the counter until you think you might fall off, but he catches you. He pushes his thick cock against your wet little cunt, pushing himself inside of you inch by delectable inch until he is fully sheathed within you.

He holds himself there as a long, throaty moan escapes your open lips, your walls already clenching down around him. You arch your back, jutting your tits out as Kakashi pulls the tiny straps of your camisole off your shoulders. He pushes the fabric down until it's bunched up around your waist along with your skirt, your tits now free to be licked and sucked on by his hot mouth with his cock still buried deep inside of you. You push your fingers into his thick hair to pull him closer and throw your head back when he flicks his tongue over one of your hard, wet nipples.

"Hold on to me", he says in his low silky voice. You obey, clutching his shoulders as he hooks his arms behind your knees. He pulls you off the counter and begins gliding his slick cock in and out of you, using the momentum of his hips and the bounce of your ass to boost the impact of his thrusts.

"Oh god, Kakashi...your dick..."

"Yeah, what about it?", he asks before licking your exposed throat.

"Nnnhhh feels so good, gonna make me cum already. So soon!"

He can indeed feel your walls closing in tighter around him as he pumps his hips even faster, digging his fingertips deep enough into your butt cheeks to leave bruises. You adjust your hold on him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to keep from slipping as if he wouldn't catch you anyway.

"Yeah? 'S that right? You gonna cum all over my cock?" He breathes right up against your ear.

Your pussy clenches tighter at his words. You want him to fuck you harder and you tell him as much. He's now slamming his cock into you, his breath quickening.

"Mmhmmm gonna cream all over your fat cock, 'kashi!"

Your scent becomes more and more intoxicating to him the closer you approach orgasm. His legs start to shake, but the adrenaline and testosterone coursing through his body ensure that he's able to keep pistoning his cock in and out of you at speed.

"Ahh fuck, your pussy smells so fucking good. Can't wait to taste it after you cream all over me".

Hearing those words in his deep voice does you in. Every muscle in your body seizes up as you cry out. "Ka-ka-shiiiii!"

He pushes you up against a wall and pounds into you mercilessly, your back pitching up and down the wall with every powerful rut of his hips.

"Cum for me, (y/n)! Yeah, cum all over this fucking cock, right fucking now!"

"Hahhhh that's it, 'kashi! Yeah, slam your cock into my sweet little pussy hahhh! Cumming...cumming...FUCK!"

You explode all around him, spraying your liquid everywhere.

His eyes widen when you squirt all around him and he loses all composure, bucking his hips wildly. "Oh fucking shit! Fucking yes! Oh fuck that pretty cunt of yours is coming apart around my fat cock...oh god, (y/n), I'm gonna fill you up with my fucking nut! Shit, here I cum! Here I fucking cum!"

He's still reaming you with his meaty cock when his seed starts dripping out from your opening, too much of it to hold inside. He sets you back down on the counter and you fall back, unable to even hold yourself up, while he dives face first into your cunt. He wants it all. Your cream mixed with his cum. God it is so fucking hot his dick doesn't even get soft. He wears you out with his mouth until you're ready to cum again, squirting all over his face.

Your body goes limp on the granite, every muscle including the ones in your eyelids completely spent. You can feel him pull your bottom back down to the edge of the counter before burying his hard cock deep inside you again, thrusting with wild abandon, using your body like a fuck doll as your eyes roll back in your head. You're all but unconscious as he pounds into you, wet skin clapping hard against wet skin. Pretty soon he's on edge again.

"Oh fuck, I'm gonna fill you up with my cum again, (y/n)".

He looks down to see your body moving in time with his thrusts, tits bouncing, body sliding up and down over the now slippery surface. Kakashi is fucking you raw in a pool of your slick and his semen.

"Ahh come here, I wanna cum all over your face".

He pulls you down, catching you just before your knees hit the hard tile. He stuffs his cock in your mouth and fucks your face while you try to push back on his trembling thighs. But it's no match for his strength as he uses your hair to guide your mouth along his cock. You gag and choke, saliva pouring out of your mouth, but that only seems to egg him on more.

"Oh fuck yeah, fuck yeah! You look so pretty when I fuck your face like this. Shit!"

He continues throwing his hips forward as his balls tighten up so much they're not even hanging anymore.

"Ah fuck, (y/n), I'm gonna cum so fuckin' hard! Gonna cover your face with my seed, yeah! Fuck, here it comes!"

He keeps a fist in your hair when he pulls out of your throat. You choke and spit and fight for air while his hot sticky semen splashes across your face with every jerk of his fist. You stick your tongue out, licking him from your lips.

"Yeah, that's right baby, eat my fucking cum," Kakashi says, using the head of his softening cock to spread his cum into your open mouth.

He draws a hot bath before stripping you down, helping you into the soothing warm water. You watch as he takes the rest of his clothes off, slipping in behind you. He washes your body, then his own before holding you back against his front, slowly stroking your hair. Comforting you. Kissing you. Caring for you.

[britishsass]

oh sicen your a fan of portal too what would a crossover of portal and psychonauts be like?

Well, first off, someone's actually making a full-fledged au for that! psychoportalnauts is the place for it, I believe? But anyways, this isn't their au. This is me infodumping about an au you only vaguely asked about, because I'm nuts.

So, my friend @legallymean and I have actually been tossing around something very much like that for a while now. The thing is, we aren't just limiting it to Portal, since we're insane or something. So, uh-- Toss 'em a couple questions?

Anyways! I'd like to introduce you to Valvonauts. The name is still under works, but let's use that for now.

This is a story loosely following the story of Psychonauts and Psychonauts 2 with Valve characters. This has been seen in the story "Scouting the Camp" on AO3, but other than that? Not much mention of it has been made so far. SO HERE'S A FULL PLOT SYNOPSIS, HAVE FUN!

Psychonauts 1.

Jeremy de Marco, a young boy with 7 older brothers, is living with his mother in the city of Boston. His mother has told them multiple times that "your father left because of a psychic danger" and warned them against associating with danger and with psychics (Not in the same sentence, but they put it together anyways). However, he discovers his own psychic powers, and he tries to train them despite how much his brothers make fun of him for it, especially as he gets into comics and creating his own stories about himself as a Psychonaut. After an incident involving a school rally and a weird pamphlet, he comes home with the thought in his head of going to Whispering Rock. His mother forbids him, but he takes matters into his own hands and runs off in the middle of the night, leaving a note saying that he's going to find his dad.

He makes his way to Whispering Rock, and there he meets the campers F. Pauling (No one knows her first name, and no one uses it anyways) and Marcel Wheatley (aka "Facty") who he quickly befriends. As well, he's introduced to the three psychonauts in charge of the camp: Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun, and Helen Pauling (aka "Admin P."). He manages to weasel his way into getting to stay for a while, and Jeremy promptly sets out to become a psychonaut so that he can find his father.

Instead he finds out that there's some sort of weird plan going on with Pauling's mom (aka Admin) and that super weird place across the lake. The events of Psychonauts 1 happen-- Gordon teaches psi-blasts, Barney teaches levitation, brains go missing oh nooo-- and finally, he meets the real mastermind behind the camp: Agent Jane Doe, otherwise known as Admiral Doe, Ranger Doe, Chef Doe, Oarsman Doe-- well, any role that needs filled, there's a fifty-fifty shot of it being one Mr. Jane Doe. He's not shattered or anything, just... Scattered. He keeps asking about a "Tavish" and no one knows who he's talking about. Not like that's important or anything, right? Haha.

Agent Doe asks Jeremy to help with the obvious plot going on, and sends the kid off to the place across the lake to go get those brains back.

.

Across the lake is not Thorney Towers. Across the lake is an old, run-down facility for science, condemned ages ago because the founder went nuts, talking about moon rocks and some sort of pouring people into a computer? We all know that couldn't happen--

But there at the door is a rather imposing figure, glaring at Jeremy as he comes near, and he has to go venture into the mind of the first resident of Aperture Science. This is Aegis, the security guard. (If you don't know AEGIS, he's in Portal Stories: Mel! Totally recommend it.) At the end, he opens the gates, and walks off, revealing he was covering an access code on the wall, scribbled on there. 2056. Strange, but whatever. Jeremy goes inside, and finds two other people there: A woman running in circles with a red bun (Mel) and a man with dark hair who jumps if he even gets close (Doug).

Mel's level is focused on the olympics and sports. Doug's level-- Well, I've already gone into detail there. But Mel gives him an ID card she found ("Caroline Jones"), and Doug tells him about the place's history as well as offering his help with the way up. The elevator takes three things: A code, a keycard, and a fingerprint scan. When it gets all three, Jeremy can go on.

There, he finds GLaDOS. She tells Atlas and P-Body (Sheegor for this purpose) to get out of the way as she's busy, and he yoinks the brains for his two teachers before going to where the others are. With the help of the two others, they get the brains back where they belong, and the group together manages to yeet GLaDOS out of control (for now.) This is when Admin shows up to enact her plan against all the people who she believes have wronged her. Insert the Brain Tank fight. Jeremy accidentally gets de-brained, and he has to throw his brain into the tank to keep going.

Welcome to Wartown.

This version of the Meat Circus is shown as wartorn Boston, with a young girl with Pauling's face guiding him around. They keep going, and eventually they find the source of the issue: The Mann Twins, a glutonous mess that's been twisted out of proportion after years of poor treatment. Jeremy fights it, and gets thrown aside, landing in the mess of sibling tangles (or finding his mom there, either way). More fighting, Several-Headed Brat Monster, Jeremy gets out of there and the day is safe for a bit.

...Note the "For a bit."

They promptly hear that the head of the psychonauts got abducted when they get back. Instead of it being Pauling's dad or something, though, Jane gives a really loud gasp. The head of the psychonauts? It's Zhanna. Pauling, Admin, Barney, Gordon, and Jeremy head out to go rescue her, since Jane's already in a state just thinking about his wife being kidnapped, and their daughter (who also has a buzz cut) just got re-brained, and someone's gotta watch over her.

Rhombus of Ruin.

So, they go get Zhanna back. Only to find out that a) GLaDOS isn't dead, b) GLaDOS was hired by someone to get Zhanna's brain, c) GLaDOS is actually Caroline and got massively messed up by Cave, and d) Pauling's first name is Francis. These are all equally important to Jeremy, who is an idiot and in love with Francis, who still hasn't kissed him because unlike Jeremy she has some standards and wants to wait until things are safe.

Psychonauts 2.

So they go to the Motherlobe. Jeremy is introduced to the interns ("Pyro", Michael Wheatley, Chell, and three others who haven't been decided yet) and the Second Head, Alyx. There's the whole thing with the mental connections and the Lady Luctopus, not much changed there. Then we get to the part that we're all here for.

Zhanna tells Jeremy that he needs to get the old Psychic 6 back together to take out whoever's trying to resurrect the worst enemy they ever had, and especially to help Jane to put together what's going on. So Jeremy goes out to do his best.

First, there's Dell, the engineer for the Psychonauts. Out of everyone, he's the one who's coping the best. He offers Jeremy some devices and calls him son. He's also mentoring Pyro, and they're pretty tight. They don't need to do much for him, just get the brain from the frame to go in the body of poor ol' Mr. Eagleman. He tells Dell that he's planning on finding the rest of the 6, and he just nods and tells him to bring a card so they can all sign it. Clearly a joke, but Jeremy is an idiot.

The second member is the brain in the jar. The level is a lot like Surgeon Simulator/2-point hospital. Trying to find instruments to fix the body on the table only to reveal that the body is [gasp] Dr. Viktor Ludwig, otherwise known as "The Medic". Jeremy gets super excited, only to discover that there is a lot more trauma than he thought. Also, that the member who died all those years ago isn't dead.

The third is the man in the isolation chamber. It isn't that he's isolated to protect others or something, no, he just doesn't trust anyone at all. He doesn't even give out his name, but he does seem to recognize Scout.... (This is Spy, btw, I just haven't actually named him)

Next up, Soldier/Jane. He's the Ford of this au, if you haven't figured that out by now. They go to Teufort Gulch, where everything is falling apart a bit, and continue through the levels.

There's Mick Mundy, holed up in a tower and hostile to anyone who comes nearby. (He and Spy chat after the level, as well. Kind of the same vibes as if Otto and Ford were chatting then)

Then there's Misha, the Heavy. The one most impacted by everything that happened, since he lost his husband. i don't actually know how his level goes but anyways--

The problem is, I'm not entirely sure how Tavish (Demo) fits in overall! We've made comments about him being Lucy because of the whole Nessie thing that he has in TF2, and how he relates with Soldier being a closer bond than most of the team-- However, now that I think about it, if you focus on the family aspect, it could be that Spy's Lucy? (I don't think he'd have the ability to do it, he's not exactly good at taking out groups) And if you focus on the "drowned country" aspect then Sniper and New Zealand (I feel like Sniper is very, VERY clearly Cassie.) Tavish deserves a lot more than I could figure out-- There is, however, a post I made way back when about his mind, so take that. Yes, he totally does make out with his liver in front of Jane and Jeremy.

(I'm still not entirely sure how this part happens, how it works, all of that. The thing is, out of everyone, Demo's probably the only one with sheer destructive power enough to do that (Remember, in Classic, he could literally destroy parts of the level!). Engie can't and wouldn't, Sniper can't, Spy definitely can't, Medic and Heavy can't unless they're together, Soldier maybe could but Demo couldn't shatter him, Scout's a kid, and Pyro's more interested in fire. Unfortunately, that leaves Tavish.)

But the point is that suddenly, partway through fixing stuff, Zhanna shows up! Except she's acting... Very weird. Weird enough that even Viktor knows it's weird, and he's been kind of dead for 20 years. They send in Jeremy and Pauling, and find out that this is actually Mr. Eagleman. Or rather, Grey Mann. He promptly gets decked into next century by a little girl for messing with her honorarily adopted aunt. This is entirely deserved.

I don't feel like they'd have a Maligula-style boss fight here? If anything, it'd just be lots of yelling at Grey and Scout hitting him with a baseball bat until they get Zhanna back in her body.

~

That's all I've got so far, but... I hope i come across right. The whole Demoman part is clunky still, I'll admit, as we more focused our energy on PN1 after deciding "Okay psy 7 is the rest of the TF2 team and medic and heavy are helmut and bob ok move out." I really wanted to go more in depth, since I know it could come off really iffy without explanation.

As well, I would definitely like to let @legallymean be the one to talk about GLaDOS, Heavy, Medic, and the Half-Life crowd-- after all, it's as much their au as it is mine! I might know TF2 characters and Portal, but I don't have a clue about Half-Life.

On the other hand, I do think this au might mean a) Scotland is gone or b) Demo just blew something big up while he was drunk

maybe it got to the point where they all just had to act like it didn't happen and they didn't know each other so he wouldn't get arrested. kind of a funny take to just have it as "Yeah uh. no i just did something dumb and had to go into witness protection, i still know all about it and stuff"

If it is the case than please imagine Grey Mann just trying to find the guy who blew up a large chunk of Loch Ness only to find that he's really just chilling and does not want to deal with this crud right now. also there's a talking sword that likes churros. no one questions it. eyelander is required. he just shows up at teufort gulch with a sword and no one questions anything until he asks who invited him and they realize none of them invited him. Grey really did not think his plan through. He just thought Tavish would want to explode stuff but he's just happy to chill with his buds again.

~

Anyways, I've gone on long enough, and I really do need to rest. I've got yet another final tomorrow, and all I can say is "I hope this makes sense and doesn't come off wrong" because i'm tired and not sure if things sound bad right now.

[katedrakeohd]

A Very Merry Birthday (5)

[Masterlist]

Hey let's make this a wacky drabble. This week's prompt #80 Stop looking at me like that

Word count: 2000

Cast of characters: Drake, Kate, Preston Davis. (OC)

Rated PG: talk of mature themes, sexual innuendo

Tagging:

@wackydrabbles @darley1101 @sfb123 @mom2000aggie @fluffyfirewhiskey @jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @kingliam2019 @no-one-u-know @nikkis1983 @glaimtruelovealways @texaskitten30 @bbrandy2002 @marshmallowsandfire

..

After exiting the stairway, Drake and Kate make their way down the hall to their room. He looked at her nervously as he dug into his pocket for his room key, "Are we really going through with this threesome thing?"

When they arrive at their door, Kate steps in front of Drake. Cupping his face in her hands she pulls him in for a kiss, her voice low, "Yes, we are. I'm only going to turn 27 once and I want it to be special." 

Drake smirks against her mouth and mumbles as their kisses continue, "What's so special about turning 27?"

Kate caresses the back of his neck and runs her fingers through his hair, "Nothing really, but do you know what?"

"Hmm?"

Kate runs the pad of her thumb across his bottom lip, and then licks her own. "I can still taste myself on your mouth and I like it."

Drake presses the room key into her hand and with the other hand goes into his jacket, making sure to slide his palm across her breast before retrieving his phone from the inside pocket. 

"You go on into our room, and I'll give Preston a call."

Kate chuckles, "Be nice to him, and please tell him again that I'm sorry for hurting him."

"I will."

…

Preston is sitting up in bed in his underwear and a t-shirt, with a small bag of ice wrapped in a pillowcase nestled against his groin. The pain had pretty much subsided by this point, but he wanted to make sure there was no chance of swelling. This hadn't been his first blow to the nuts, but knowing how it felt didn't make any time it happened again any less painful. 

Beside him on the bed is a half eaten sandwich on a plate that he had ordered from room service. It was still early in the evening and it bothered him to not have anything to do. If they were back home at Valtoria there would still be another two hours in his work shift. Back at home these were prime party hours and he'd have guests to keep tabs on with his usual crew of guards. If it was a quiet evening with no guests, he'd walk the halls and then patrol the perimeter outside and use the time to go over  the next day's sentry and active guard schedule in his head and get some welcome fresh air.

Once a month there would be an evening poker game amongst the senior staffers, which occasionally the Duke would join in on if the Duchess was away, but mostly it was a fun and casual night for the staff to tell funny anecdotes at their employer's expense. 

Tonight, after clicking through the limited channel options on his room's TV, he had resorted to browsing the social media on his phone. Thankfully the hotel had free wifi. Reaching over he grabs the last part of his sandwich and takes a bite, and then another to finish it. Now that his hand was free he shifted the ice pack to the side and gingerly fondled himself through his underwear. The ice had left him temporarily numb, but there didn't seem to be any unusual swelling so he transferred the ice pack over onto his dinner plate. Laying his phone on his chest he planted his hands on the bed and carefully scooted his ass down the bed so he could lie down on his back. With a sigh he folded his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. 

After a few minutes of studying the crown moulding and lamenting the Ravenhurst's poor choice of wallpaper, he closes his eyes out of boredom. Out in the hallway he can hear the muffled voices of people approaching his room, expecting them to fade as they pass by. But this time they don't. Listening intently he recognizes the low tones of Drake's voice, and the faint inflection of Kate's laughter. So Mr. and Mrs. Smith, or Jones or whatever are back from their dinner date. Hope they had fun. 

There's the click of a door opening and closing and then the muffled footfalls of someone walking away, punctuated by the creek of the wooden floorboards under the carpet. Preston turns his head to look toward the door, curious. Pulling his hand out from behind his head he reaches for his phone before it can slide off his chest.

 …

Drake shoved one hand in his pocket as he paced back and forth in the hallway, looking down at his phone. Of course it had to be the pocket with Kate's panties in it. He bunches them in his fist and sighs in frustration as he picks Preston's name out of his contact folder. How in the hell do I call someone and invite them to be the third person in a sexual situation? Especially when I really don't want him there in the first place? I could lie to her and say that I asked Preston and he declined. Yeah right, Kate's like a human lie detector and would know I'm not telling the truth. 

He presses the message icon on his screen and then stops to lean against the wall. As awkward a conversation this was about to be, it would be better conducted quietly.

The Duke::   Hi Preston, how are you feeling?

There's a brief pause and then Preston responds,

Preston::  I'm doing ok. How can I help you Sir?

The Duke:: I have an unusual request. You're free to decline if you don't feel up to the task.

Preston:: Ok. That's not suspicious at all. 🤔

The Duke:: First some questions. And again you can choose not to answer if you feel they're too personal.

Preston:: Should I be worried? This isn't some dangerous mission is it?

The Duke:: That all depends on how you behave.

Drake grins to himself and rubs his jaw as he waits for Preston to respond. The seconds tick by and then Preston answers.

Preston:: Are you out in the hall?

The Duke:: yes

A few seconds go by and he hears a door open and he looks up to see Preston pop his head out into the hall. 

"Pssst. Over here," he whispers.

Drake pushes away from the wall and tucks his phone into his back pocket. He looks quickly up and down the hall before walking over to Preston's room. He takes in his underdressed state and then grins at him, "You're going to think I'm crazy."

Preston steps back to let Drake step into the room. "Now I'm really curious."

Drake stands in the middle of the room feeling awkward, knowing he still had to ask the questions he had on his mind. Preston gestures toward the chair for Drake to have a seat, but he shakes his head.

"I'd rather stand." I'm too nervous to sit down. "But you might want to sit."

Preston shrugs and then sits down on the end of the bed. "What's on your mind, Sir?"

Drake doesn't know where to start. Just get the personal questions out of the way, you idiot, before you chicken out.

Taking a deep breath in Drake forces himself to push aside his nerves and decides to sit down after all. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and then leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Ok, then. Question one. Are you currently in a relationship?"

Preston's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "Uh, no. But why -...?"

Drake holds his hand up to interrupt him, "Just bear with me and then I'll get to the point."

Preston tilts his head, frowning, but crosses his arms and then waits. 

Drake scratches the back of his head, trying to find the words to ask the questions on his mind before he gets to the invitation from Kate.

"Are..are you straight? Gay? Something else?" Drake stammers, feeling anxious.

Preston can't help but laugh, "Are you asking me out on a date Your Grace?"

"I...just answer the question."

Preston shrugs, noting the nervous bounce of Drake's knee and the way he kept averting his eyes. He also couldn't help but notice that his shirt was half unbuttoned already and his hair was slightly messy. "I'm straight...I guess."

Drake looks up, "You guess? Either you are or you aren't.  Stop looking at me like that."

"Well when you get right down to it, these days when you're lonely enough and looking for that kind of pleasure a hole is a hole. If you understand what I mean? Between two consenting adults of course."

Drake wasn't expecting that kind of answer from Preston, and he's suddenly reminded of his own 27th Birthday. But he had one last question before he mentioned the threesome idea. Taking a deep breath he thought about Kate, and how she was expecting Preston to come back with him.

"Well, if you're thinking straight, I want your honest opinion about something."

Preston wasn't sure where this was going, but this had to be the strangest conversation he'd ever had with any boss he's ever had. Was it even ethical to have this kind of conversation? 

"Ok, sure. What do you want to know?"

"How do you feel about my wife?"

Preston wasn't sure how to answer that sort of question without getting a punch to the face. She'd already slapped him and mashed his nuts with her knee, but being the one to escort her to the restaurant had been exciting to say the least. He wasn't sure if he'd interpreted her suggestion correctly, that he should get handsy with her in order to get Drake's attention, or not. Or perhaps he had gone too far. He was certainly confused as to why Drake would show up in his room and start asking personal questions. He decided to keep his answer as ambiguous as possible.

"She's a beautiful woman, and a man would have to be blind not to desire her."

Drake nods, appreciating his answer, "Go on, I think there's more you want to say."

Preston's eyes narrow and he feels uncomfortable with Drake's tone of voice, "If you're trying to lead me on into admitting something as some sort of trap, I'm not falling for it. I was following her orders…"

Again Drake interrupts, "Yes, I get that. What I really want to know is if you enjoyed touching my wife like that?"

Preston carefully considers his answer. Yes, he had liked being able to touch her. But acting like a total ass had earned him a slap and a knee to the groin, and he knew that wasn't acceptable behavior. Kate didn't deserve to be grabbed like that. She had looked like candy wrapped in a red satin bow, and damn she had smelled like it too. He'd love to be lucky enough to have a woman like that. She would be like a gift, one he could unwrap everyday and never get tired of finding the same thing waiting for him on the inside.

"No, I didn't. K...Mrs. Walker shouldn't be touched that way without permission. It was wrong."

Drake's phone chimes and he checks it. He has a text message from Kate.

Kate:: have you asked him yet?

Drake:: getting there, be patient.

Drake looks up from his phone. "Smart answer. Now how would you like the chance to make it right?"

His phone chimes again. 

Preston chuckles, "What do you mean?"

Kate:: this kitty Kat is getting awfully lonely over here, and with an itch that needs to be scratched. It would be a shame if I had to handle it on my own. 😽😈

"Kate...Mrs. Walker, wants me to invite you over to our room. For some fun."

"What sort of fun?"

Drake's phone chimes again.

Kate:: tick tock, Walker. Are you two coming over to play?

"The naked kind."

Preston laughs, "You're right. I do think you're crazy."

Drake stands up. "Well are you in, or not?"

Preston shrugs, "What the Hell, I'm in."

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Five

Words: 4k

Warning(s): explicit language, domestic abuse, violence, drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion  @edwardtriggerhandzz  @lemmyjelly  @haileynicoleseavey17  @cierrasixx19  @oskea93  @mgkobsessed  @sharon6713  @itsametaphorbriansblog  @miriampraez  @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx  @rebeccaphillips14  @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie  @tamedhearts  @divaanya  @6ixx6ixx  @ratedrkohardychick91  @floregrohlssard  @oldschoolimagineblog  @thanks2pete  @abaldboi  @liith-ium  @caos18blog  @ytwahsog  @scarecrowmax  @random-internet-user-4471  @solohqrry  @sparxx27  @kaitieskidmore1  @cruecifymesixx    @meetthesixxter   @sublimeprincesswasteland  @arianareirg  @girlnight-terror

@fancywasmyname1  @teller258316  @ggorehorror  @blowinmeupwithherlove  @xrosegoldwolfx  @mylifeisjustafeverdream  @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

"Hey, Nikki, c'mon!" The sound of Fred shouting on the other side of the bathroom door pulls me to my feet, making me swing the door open and catch myself on the side of the doorway before I can face plant. 

His expression is neutral, but I see it in his eyes...he knows they're losing me. "Three more nights to go," he reminds me, "make it count." 

I wipe my mouth, following him down the hallway, catching a glimpse of Vivian talking to Izzy while Steven's got his arms around her hips, pulling her to sit in his lap and she does, patting at his arms while he rests his cheek against her back and closes his eyes to rest a second as her conversation with Izzy doesn't skip a beat. 

Maybe she's sleeping with all of them. 

Not like it matters at this point. 

We're over anyway and I'll probably be dead before either of us can even file. 

She looks like she's about to look at me but I make sure to cut away from looking at her to avoid being caught, grabbing my bass from the tech as Tommy starts in on the drums, the screams of our fans echoing backstage as Mick, Vince and I head under the stage, my fingers lightly brushing against her crucifix around my neck for a split second. 

I'd stolen it when I found it in Duff's bathroom...when people asked me, "dude, how'd you take that news? You kicked his ass, right? You showed that cheating bitch, right?" 

Well…

The Night Before

"Hey, Nikki, man, can you help us with this?" Slash asks me once I get my room's door open, and I raise my brows. 

"With what?" I reply, confused. 

He motions down the hall, and I peek my head out to see Steven and Duff trying to push a desk out of Steven's room.

"We're fucking with hotel. We need help getting the desk, chair, lamp, and night stand from Steven's room into the elevator before someone needs to use it." He explains. 

"So they can have a more comfortable ride." Stevie pipes with a grin. 

I've been locked in my room all day and I won't get to see these guys until the end of next month starting in a few days, so…

"Hell, yeah." I agree, stepping out of the hall. 

"Where's your clothes man?" I ask Duff when I get to him and Steven, helping them push the desk along the carpet, to the elevator. 

He's in his boxers and a pair of his cowboy boots, and he replies, "me and this girl got in an argument and she stole my clothes."

I can't help but laugh. 

Poor Duff, he's probably never dealt with crazy, vindictive, mind-screwing women before. 

We get the desk and chair into the elevator before the doors try to shut, signaling someone needing to use it, and I'm snatching Steven out of there before it goes down. 

Whoever the fuck uses it will probably shit a brick once they realize it's gonna be impossible to get inside without crawling over the desk. 

After that, we get the elevator back pretty quick and finish the job before pressing every button in the elevator to make a stop at every floor, just to make people in need of it wait longer. 

"What're you guys doing?" I hear Viv's voice and turn to see her standing in the hallway with her room door open. 

"None of your fucking business." I snap at her, just as the elevator dings and the doors open to reveal all the fucking furniture, Izzy, and a groupie. 

They're sitting on the desk as if it's no big deal, and Izzy hops off of it and helps his lady friend down, the two of them looking at me and the guys. 

"Good one." Izzy tells us, nodding to the elevator and I chuckle as he passes by, lightly patting at my shoulder, saying, "goodnight, man." 

"Children." I hear Vivian mumble, shutting her door behind her. 

"She's not feeling good today." Duff tells me, trying to get me to drop it before I even pick it up. 

I don't listen, stomping to her door and banging on it. 

She opens it, and I sneer down at her. 

"We're having fun, what the fuck makes you think you can come out and shit on it when nobody even wants you on this fucking tour to begin with?!" I bark at her. 

"Nikki, all I said--"

"--I know what you fucking said because you've been saying it the past six fucking years. We get it. I get it. So just fucking drop it and mind your own goddamn business!" 

She shuts the door in my face, making me kick the door, before taking a breath, and turning to see Steven, Slash, and Duff, trying not to be too uncomfortable. 

"You guys got any booze?" I ask, knowing they do. 

"Yeah, man." Slash nods, motioning me to Duff's room. 

He hands me a bottle of Jack and I start downing it with no hesitation, wrinkling my nose at it's peculiar taste--more peculiar than usual.

"It's half Jack, half Vodka." Slash explains and I wrinkle my nose, my throat on fire as I cough. 

"What the fuck?" I ask, my head swimming, and he shrugs. 

"We got bored and figured we'd try it." 

"Don't let Viv know. She'll pour it out." I mumble, wiping my mouth, sitting on the foot of Duff's bed as he and Steven join us. 

"I know you two have a lot going on but go a little easier on her, man." Slash says to me, next.

"Yeah, you guys are our friends so seeing you fight is weird." Steven adds. 

"Like watching parents try to kill each other in front of their kids." Duff states and I sigh. 

"I know you guys are friends with her but you don't see what she's really like." I insist. "She's fucking nuts." 

"Trust us, we know." Steven scoffs. 

"She's a sweet girl, she's just going through a lot." Duff interjects, grabbing the bottle of jack/vodka from me, taking a sip for himself. 

"She was a sweet girl." I argue calmly. "Breakups just fucking make people unrecognizable. I don't see the chick I proposed to. I see a wicked bitch from hell that possessed her and just uses her body as a disguise." I add. 

None of them say anything, because they can't argue it. 

They see how we treat each other. 

It's a given I'll be an asshole, but when someone like Vivian starts spewing venom, it's because she's lost their fucking mind.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." I grumble, feeling my stomach wrench before I'm stumbling to the bathroom, vomit spewing past my lips into the toilet, my hand grasping the edge of the counter to keep myself from falling forward, the sound of the clink of metal against the floor as I accidentally knock one of Duff's necklaces to the bathroom tile. 

Once I'm done puking, I take deep breaths, closing my eyes for a moment before flushing the toilet. 

I reach for the necklace to put it back on the counter, before I get a good look at it. 

It's a small, sparkling cross a little too dainty for Duff...my stomach drops, my mind going back to the night I first met Vivian, when I first saw it around her neck and sneered everytime I looked at it. 

How she took it off before she and I fooled around for the first time, and everytime after that, until we got married…

My blood runs cold, another wave of nausea hitting me, bile rushing up in my throat before I can stop it, splattering onto the floor.

Maybe I would've been prepared had Vince told me what was going on. He'd found out after Sparkie got blacked out on smack and told him what he had discovered about saint Viv. 

It felt like a twenty-five pound weight had busted my balls. I didn't have time to think about it much in the moment.

"Gross." Steven wrinkles his nose a little as he peeks in to check on me. "I'll call the cleaning people." He adds, shutting the door, and I look at the necklace one last time before tucking it into my pocket. I'll confront her with it, later. 

I get out of the bathroom, Duff, Slash and Steven all looking at me.

"Dude, you alright?" Duff asks, smoking a cigarette, and I nod. 

"Yeah. I just feel like shit." I reply, trying to mask the fact I just found out he's been fucking my wife. "I'm gonna go lay down for a few minutes and see if I don't feel a little better." I tell them, stepping to the door. 

"Alright, man." Slash replies. 

"See ya." I mumble as Steven adds, "feel better, Sixx!" 

I get to my room, slamming the door, pacing, throwing my empty bottle of Jack at the wall and watching the glass shatter, my fingers raking through my hair. 

How the fuck could Vivian do this to me? How could Duff? My band gave his band a shot--a good one. I thought he and I were friends. You don't fuck your friend's chick. 

Okay, I fucked Roxy but that was different, I was high. 

Duff isn't into hard drugs and Viv's sober so neither of them have an excuse for it. 

A pit grows in my chest as I think a little more.

What if they were messing around back when she posed for Playboy? Maybe that's why he went with her…or maybe they've been at it since before Vanity let it out that me and her were together…that would explain why Viv hid him from me for so long.

My nostrils flare at the thought. 

Who the fuck does she think she is?! Cheating on me?! Does she realize how many girls would love to be married to me and here she is with my own fucking buddy. Heartless cunt. And he's an ungrateful bastard. I gave his fucking band a shot at getting what they've been hungry for and this is how he repays me? Nailing my wife on the very tour I invited him to play on? 

I take heavy breaths before stepping to the phone, dialing Tansy's room number. 

She's supposed to be back by now from her little break, and when I hear her answer, I sigh in relief. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey, Tans, whatcha up to?" I ask, grin on my face, knowing exactly what she's about to be up to, if she isn't already.

Tansy and I were like arsenic and cyanide. She was like Vanity--without the batshit craziness, or the sex. We'd hang out and just spend hours getting high together. I was one of her best friends, so it should've been my job to protect her, but if that were the case, I would've been encouraging her to throw her smack and coke out, instead of always wanting to hang out just so we could get high together like it was a bonding experience or something. Yeah, seeing each other at their fucking shittiest really bonds people to one another, right. 

It was a punch in the stomach when I found out about all the hell she'd gone through for years, that made her want to get lost in drugs, and eventually made her want to get lost past the confines of this life. 

A majority of her friends were protective "manly" men who would fist fight a pole if need be, well, Steven, at least. 

We were supposed to protect her. 

And I know, "Well, you didn't know." 

We would've known, had we paid more attention, and I wasn't paying attention because I was like a woodpecker with its head in a branch, except my head was in a pile of smack.

I hang my head over the toilet, vomit pouring from my lips as my head reels with dizziness, my veins aching as Tansy rests against the bathtub, slobber rolling down her chin from being in the same position I'm in only a few seconds ago. 

Our burnt spoons and sharp smelling foils are left to the floor as we're taken over by a monster bigger than ourselves, the sound of Slash, Steven, Duff, and Vivian's laughter from the hallway creeping past my door, slipping under the bathroom's door, pushing through the smoke and mirrors, nearly shattering my high before it even has its full start.

The next night results in the same outcome, only this time, I've decided to pick myself up with help from my favorite smoke, except the hit from the crackpipe comes with the expected.

Sweat beads down my back as I shake, curled up in the bathtub with the shower's curtain pulled, hearing the footsteps of my room's intruder. 

"Nikki?" A familiar voice calls softly, but the demon in my ear overpowers my want to go to her. 

I curl further into myself, squeezing my eyes closed, my shaking hand gripping at the cross around my neck that belongs to her. 

"If you're real just make it go away." I'm saying before I can stop myself. "Help me cut this shit, and give me my wife back." 

I knew I hit rock bottom when I prayed to a God I didn't even believe in…and I guess, in the end, my prayer was answered, but fuck if I didn't get in my own way.

I finally coax myself out of the tub after a few more minutes, seeing the light is off in my room under the door, before I open the bathroom door, my hair standing on end, my bare, ragged feet moving as quietly as I can move them as I pad onto the carpet, stepping to the bed where a figure is laid out, the shine of red hair across a pillow radiating from the bathroom light drifting into the room. Peaceful, sleeping features show no threat, but something wicked is beating in my head as I slowly approach her, my boney knuckle rubbing at her cheek, slowly, opting a tired, soft moan to leave her, her body shifting before stilling. 

I know it's bullshit. It's a facade. I know she's waiting for me to fall out so she can leech off of me. 

Fucking witch. 

If I pass out, she'll strike, and I won't make it out alive. 

Her nails are clawing blood from my arms as she gasps out, kicking her feet when my hands lock around her throat, my eyes glossing over as she tries to scream out. 

Her hand bangs, hard, against the wall the bed is against, her hands trying to fight me off as tears roll down her cheeks, her face beginning to turn a deeper shade of red. 

"Nikki, what the--Nikki, what the fuck?!" I hear Fred's voice, but I hear it as if I'm under water, my focus captivated completely as my eyes burn into Vivian's before I'm being snatched off of her and thrown into the floor. 

She's a coughing, gagging, gasping, crying mess. 

"What the fuck, Nikki?!" Fred yells at me and I look at Vivian. 

It's as if I'm coming back to myself, the reality of what I just tried to do…

What the fuck, Nikki? You already fucking shot her, and now this? If you don't get your shit together you won't have a fucking wife to patch things up with!

What am I saying? I already don't. She's fucking Duff. 

She's legally married to me, but emotionally she's already been single for months, now.

I didn't strangle her because I was pissed over Duff. I strangled her because in my fucked up paranoia I was convinced she was going to kill me, first. 

The truth was she wasn't. Duff, on the other hand, definitely considered it once he found out. But I don't blame him for it, now.

The next night, I feel my lip curl as I spot greasy, unkept hair, and scabbed, yellow skin. 

Sparkie's smoking a cigarette, his arm around Tansy. 

Its fucking pathetic. 

He's contributing to her demise--if not the reason it kickstarted in the first place--and she still looks at him like he's the only dude on the fucking planet and she can't get enough. 

My mind drifts to what would happen if by freak chance Vivian did decide to try something with him. 

It makes my skin crawl to think of Vivian in the same position as Tansy: doped up, exhausted to the point she can't fight back when she's pimped out by him, worn down…

The mere idea of it makes bile rise to the back of my throat. 

The fact Tansy's gone through it only adds to my nausea. 

I hold it in and step past them, glaring at Sparkie. 

"Stay away from my fucking wife." I threaten him and he flinches a little. 

Pussy. 

I spot Axl shooting a death glare at him from the corner of my eye. 

He looks pissed as a hornet, his sharp jaw clenching and unclenching as Vince and Tommy walk past him to get ready to go on stage. 

I hear Skylar crying from the dressing room with Sharise--they came down a few nights ago. 

I look back to Axl, tension getting tighter and tighter in his body. 

All it takes is Sparkie clapping his hands one good, loud, time, just to see Tansy's jittering, withdrawal-beginning, body nearly jump out of it's own skin. 

This does it. 

Out of fucking nowhere Axl is tackling him like a linebacker, not giving the walking incarnate of an STD time to think before he's beating the shit--literal, shit--out of him, the putrid smell taking up space backstage, making me and the guys gag as Fred, Doc, and Izzy try to get the pissed redhead off the junkie.

I expect Tansy to be screaming or crying like usual when someone gives Sparkie what his punk-ass deserves, but she makes no protest to Axl. 

I immediately look away when Viv comes into the picture, a look of worry on her face as Axl yells: "Bitchy little princess, I'll give you a fucking reason to go fucking shoot up!" 

The smell of Sparkie's shit continues to permeate the area as Doc and Fred get him away from Axl. 

Tansy just stands still, her big, blue eyes blinking at Axl.

I meet Vivian's gaze, noticing the cake of makeup covering her neck, and a pit is dug into my stomach. 

Fuck. 

"Dude, you good?" Tommy asks me, and I nod. 

"Yeah, just grossed out." I mumble, seeing Izzy leaning against the wall, dry heaving from the smell as Viv and Duff coax Axl down the hall to their dressing room.

Me, the guys, Emi and Donna all get into position, and I try to shake off all the shit that's happened, because we need to have a kickass show. 

As soon as mine and Mick's cue hits, and I'm face-to-face with thousands of people who all want a piece of me, I can't control uneasiness of my stomach, and when I take a moment to grab a drink of water, my throat ignites when I down a gulp of vodka, instead. 

What the fuck? 

I figure it's set aside for Mick, and try not to let it happen again. 

Only I do. 

Repeatedly throughout the show.

And that on top of smack, on top of the Jack Tommy and I chug during part of the show, leaves me sloppy as hell and stumbling off stage come curtain call. 

I see two Duff's stomping over to me, looking the most mean I've seen him ever look, Vivian on his heels. 

"Hey, man, wha--" 

I don't have time to finish my question. 

He knocks the shit out of me in the blink of an eye, and I stumble back, not able to react in time before he's shoving through Fred and Doc, giving another punch to my cheek, but I strike back this time, twice, before he just starts waylaying me relentlessly, Vivian screaming, stupid enough to try to get between us before Izzy's yanking her away. 

I feel my skin split under the pressure of one of Duff's rings, my vision spotty before he's thrown back by Fred and Axl. 

"You mother fucker!" He screams at me viciously as Doc comes to my side. "You stay the fuck away from her, you understand me?!" 

"Duff, it was an accident!" Vivian cries out hoarsely. 

"Look at your fucking neck! How is that a fucking accident?!" He's so pissed he's nearly in tears, too, and I feel my heart pound as I see where the makeup has been smeared off of Vivian's neck, revealing dark bruises in the shape of my fingers. 

"He was high!" Vivian insists.

"He was high when he shot you, he was high when he proposed to another woman, he's high everytime he treats you like shit, he was high when he fucking tried to kill you last night…" Duff rambles off, his face bright red. "...Stop excusing his bullshit with 'he was high', he's not high--that's just who the fuck he is, now!" He shouts, her feelings hurt from the looks of her expression. 

"Come on over here and see who the fuck I am, now!" I can't help but to spit out, even though I'm in no position to win a fight. 

"No, no!" Fred scolds as he and Doc are in front of me while Steven and Axl stay with Duff, trying to calm him down. 

First Axl and Sparkie, now me and Duff, all in one night. 

I bet Fred and Doc regret bringing them on tour, too, because I sure as shit do. 

If I felt like arguing anymore I'd ask Duff how my balls taste since that's where Vivian's mouth spent a good amount of time the past six years...if I wanted them to know that I know about them, I'd say it. 

If I knew it would make a difference, I would. 

But I know it won't, so I keep my mouth shut. 

[ma-gic-gay]

"Get. Out," Jason says, glaring at the mobster in front of him. "Aren't you supposed to be in a prison cell?"

"I was released on bail and wanted to see how-"

"Say her name and you'll be the one in the hospital bed."

"Is that a threat?"

"A promise," he smiles fakely, enjoying the fact he's the one with power in this situation. This sick bastard is the reason that his... Carly is traumatized and hurt.

"Please, leave," Carly requests softly. For a minute, Jason almost forgot she was there. He immediately goes back in his chair and wipes away her tears, which are coming fairly frequently. "I want him out of here and back in his cell."

"You heard the woman. Get out or I'll have security remove you."

"I own part of this hospital, Mr. Morgan. I'm on the board-"

"Not anymore," Michael answers, walking in with his kids and Willow. "Last night, the board took a vote. ELQ bought out your shares and the board decided you're no longer a part of it. So if I were you, I'd get out of here while you can still move."

"Are you threatening me, Mr. Corinthos?" Cyrus asks, amused. "That won't fly with anyone, really."

"You made a mistake, underestimating him," Willow chimes in. "I'd leave pretty quickly if I were you. After all, we know you're going back to Pentonville, where I look forward to you rotting in a prison cell until you die a slow, painful death."

"Ms. Tait-"

"It's Mrs. Corinthos, actually," she says, glaring at him while showing her engagement and wedding rings. "Because, you see, I love Michael and he loves me. That's what these beautiful rings mean. Something I doubt you'll ever be able to experience. Then again, maybe prisoners like knowing that their fellow prisoner is a kidnapper and rapist. Maybe not. I guess you'll find out."

"I have no reason to leave," Cyrus answers a non-existent question. "There's no need for me to. I just wanted to check on Carly. I do hope I can call you that, Mrs. Corinthos?"

"No," she answers, voice weak and tears still streaming down her face. "Please, leave. You know what you did to me. So do the cops, so does everyone else in this room. Enjoy your last few weeks of freedom if you insist, but otherwise, Cyrus, get the hell out of my room."

When he still refuses to move, Jason presses the "call" button near Carly's bed and Epiphany enters the room. "Mr. Renault. Unless you need medical attention, get out of this hospital."

"Nurse Johnson," he greets. "Nice to see you."

"Security!" Epiphany shouts instead of answering his greeting. "Cyrus is in 3115!"

A few moments later, a security guard enters and escorts Cyrus out, much to the man's protests. "I'm not doing anything wrong by visiting a friend!"

Epiphany casts a glance towards Carly, "You want a sedative or something?"

"No, thanks," the blonde responds, noticing her grandkids are in the room and breaking into a fake smile. "Hey Wiley, Ophelia! Did you two have fun playing with Donna and Avery yesterday?"

"Grandma, why are you crying?" Wiley asks. "And why aren't you at home?"

"I got a really bad booboo and so I'm stuck in here for a little while. Don't worry, bud, I'll be out of here and playing with you two again as soon as I can. Maybe we'll go get some ice cream to celebrate when I get out, how's that sound?" Carly asks her grandson, simplifying it greatly.

"Yay! Ice cream!" Wiley cheers while his sister just smiles.

"Hey, Mr. Wiley, I think you have to get to school," Michael says after glancing at his watch.

"But I want to help Grandma's boo-boos feel better!" He protests.

"Grandma needs her rest, Wiley. Tell you what, maybe your dad will take you here after school and you can tell her all about your day. How's that sound?" Jason offers, compromising.

"Will you make sure she gets her rest, Jason?" Wiley asks and they laugh at the young boy's concern.

"Yes, I will. But you've got to get off to school first."

"Okay. Bye bye, Grandma and Jason! I'll be back after school."

He waves as Michael takes him out of there, Ophelia still with Willow. "Ophelia, do you wanna say bye to her? Say bye bye," Willow urges, smiling.

Silence follows that. "She's being rude, sorry about that," she jokes before bringing her out to join Michael and Wiley in the car.

As soon as the door closes behind Willow, the silent tears multiply and Carly's loudly sobbing. "How did he get out, Jason? They promised me he'd go to jail, that he'd never see the light of day again. I know it's the PCPD, but they made a promise to me! And now he's walking around town, free to see me and make me feel like I'm back in that room and he's about to-" she trails off at one point, sobs overtaking her vocal cords.

"I don't know. I'm calling Diane; this isn't making any sense."

"No need to call, Jason. I'm right here. Heard Cyrus got let out?"

"He paid a visit to us, actually, only a few minutes ago," Carly says, abruptly ending her sobs.

"Well, the DA is going to take this case. Which means Robert Scorpio is your lawyer. I'm going to be assisting him, however, and I expect that Cyrus will be put away rather quickly. If he doesn't plead guilty, than you'll go to trial. His arraignment is happening tomorrow and he's out on bail until then. After that, he will be sent to Pentonville to either await trial or start serving his sentence," Diane summarizes quickly. "Carly, when are you expected to get out of here?"

"In a couple of days, but I think they'd let me out for a court date."

"You're not leaving until the doctor's deem it safe," Jason counters quickly. "If you can't go to the arraignment, I will. I'll tell you exactly what happened."

"Well if the doctors say I can go to court-"

"Look. I'll talk to the nurses and figure out what's going on here. You two can fight about this later. In the meantime, you need to be prepared for the possibility he'll plead not guilty and take this to trial." Diane interjects. "Robert will be by later today to discuss this with you."

"If he pleads not guilty and we go to trial, how fast can we get one?" Jason asks.

"A couple of weeks, probably. Which means keeping a low profile. No business talk, no crazy ideas. Just a coffee importer and a victim of what Cyrus did to you," Diane warns. "You two don't exactly have the best reputation."

"Hey, I'm a respectable businesswoman and he's a respectable businessman. We'll be fine," Carly smiles and Diane cocks an eyebrow at Jason.

"We won't do anything stupid."

"Good. I'm going to go talk to the nurses. Carly, rest up. We'll want you at court tomorrow." Diane says before leaving, her heels clacking along the tile.

"Don't tell me you want me to stay in the hospital," Carly says, starting up that argument again.

"I don't. But if it's the best way for you to heal-"

"It's not. I'm already bored to death and, as much as I enjoy your company, I want to be at home. Or at work. Back to running the world, you know? Not cooped up in this hospital bed, screaming every few hours because I feel like I'm back in that room above Jake's, which used to be such a fun spot but now it makes me want to die inside, thinking about it. Thinking about what he did, it taints almost all of our memories there and I think that's the worst part of it," the blonde admits, smiling through her tears.

"I can think, you know, about how we got our start, and when I focus on just you, it makes it all seem so much easier. When I don't, and I let my mind wander, somehow I end up thinking about what Cyrus did. I can't even indulge in nostalgia without thinking about him, Jason. The physical, yeah I'm sore but I'll be fine. Eventually, I won't have any physical mark of it. But the emotional one, what if it never goes away? What if whenever I think of us, and that little room, I always end up thinking about Cyrus? What then?"

"Then you'll just have to think of our other memories. At the penthouse, at any of your houses, with Michael, at the hospital, any of the years worth of other memories," he offers. "They're not our only good memories, Carly. They're just a few."

"My boy on the side, remember?" She asks and they laugh. "Robin couldn't find out and neither could Tony."

"Yeah," he smiles. "We were determined to never speak to each other outside of the bar and that room. It was pretty much our only rule."

"I never did like following rules."

"Not even the ones you came up with."

"Well, if I'd followed the rules, then you wouldn't know me nearly as well and you'd be leading a sad life without me in it. You wouldn't have nearly as much fun without me," she says confidently.

"I'd also have way less headaches."

"And be dead by now."

"Yeah, probably."

"I think I've earned a thank you."

"Thank you, Carly."

"You're welcome." Smiling, she realizes something. "Hey, I just realized that you didn't kiss me that nightmare."

"Did you really want me to kiss you in front of Cyrus?" He asks.

"It would've drove him nuts."

"Yeah, well Michael, Willow, and your grandkids were in here too. Michael's already barely not killing us for having sex, I don't feel like testing that."

"No one's here now."

"Is that your way of telling me to-" he gets cut off by the feeling of her kissing him.

They pull apart a few moments later, Carly having a satisfied smile on her face. "So, how long does this whole kissing me every time I have a nightmare thing last?"

"Until we decide to stop it," he answers simply, refusing to label whatever the hell is going on here. At least, none of that until she's more recovered from this, maybe when Cyrus is behind bars.

To be continued after I actually do school because fuck the education system

@ryleighjosephine i dont know what the song is sorry

[sidhelives]

Leather and Lace

Fen'Harem Gift Exchange 2020

For Jukkari 💕

Full text under Read More

They had spent months beating around the bush. Months of short, professional meetings punctuated by playful jabs and coy smiles. There was something there, even if no one else could see it, she felt it. Like flint and steel they struck against each other and made sparks. They had spoken about it once, agreed that the sentiment behind the flirting was mutually genuine, and… nothing had changed.

Julseithe wanted it to change. She wanted to cup that precious face between her hands and find out what her lips tasted like. She wanted to share a moment that wasn't surrounded by dozens of other people watching her, worshiping her.

She didn't want to be the Inquisitor and Scout Harding, she wanted to be Julseithe and Lace.

Seeing her in the courtyard, Julseithe made the sudden decision that today would be the day it changed. She didn't know how long the scouts would be in Skyhold: they were always moving, brushing in and out of the fortress with more regularity than she did herself, which said a lot. It had to be today, and it had to be now, before she lost her nerve.

Her legs felt heavy and awkward as she crossed the yard, like a newborn halla learning to walk, and she could feel her heart pounding against her ribs. She opened her mouth to call out a greeting and found her tongue bone dry. Before she could wet it and try again, Lace noticed her and waved. Julseithe saw a brightness come to the dwarf's eyes that she wished beyond hope was because of her.

"Scout Harding. Good to see you somewhere not infested with Venatori for a change," Julseithe managed, finding her voice.

"I do need the occasional break, and the free drinks are nice." Lace grinned, nodding her head towards the Herald's Rest.

She had such a beautiful smile. Her eyes sparkled like dew covered grass at dawn. "Would you care for one now?" Julseithe plowed ahead, not allowing herself time to think about the words spilling from her lips. "Since it's my treat either way."

If the invitation surprised Lace, she hid it well. She was, Julseithe reminded herself, the Inquisition's lead scout, it would be more strange if she did visibly react.

"I think I would. Thanks, Inquisitor."

"You can call me Julseithe you know." She spoke too quickly, her nerves creeping up on her.

"Oh? How about Jules?"

"You can call me whatever you want." Julseithe bit her tongue. Too much.

Lace chuckled. "Well alright then, Jules. Shall we go in for that drink?"

She was sure her cheeks were pink, she could feel the heat radiating from them. "Let's." She got the door, holding it open for the scout, and they wordlessly drifted to a table set into a nook in the wall. It was the closest thing to privacy the tavern contained.

"You a mead or an ale woman?" Lace asked as Julseithe sat.

"Mead. Thanks," she responded.

With a curt nod, the dwarf turned and headed for the bar. This left Julseithe alone with her thoughts, which was quite possibly the worst-case scenario. Anxiety ricocheted inside her, colliding with the butterflies in her stomach and making her momentarily nauseous. Get it together Lavellan, she chided herself. It was only Harding after all. They had flirted and joked together dozens of times before, this was no different.

Except that it was different. Different was the entire point.

"Here we are." Lace plopped the full tankard in front of Julseithe with a clank that made her jump. The dwarf laughed apologetically. "Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you. Can't really figure out how to turn off the sneaky anymore."

Julseithe returned a shaky laugh, uncomfortable with her own discomfort. She was the mother-fucking Inquisitor, this shouldn't be this hard. "What are you drinking?"

Lace slid into the seat opposite her and shrugged. "I'm an ale woman myself. Mead is just too, I don't know, sweet for me I guess."

You're sweet enough all on your own anyway. The words were there, they were perfect, but they stuck to Julseithe's tongue like raw nut butter. She cleared her throat. "So how are things going? I haven't seen you since the Hissing Wastes."

"Well, I'm still cleaning sand out of places it has no right being." Lace smirked. "But good otherwise. What about you?"

"Me? Oh, I've been keeping busy. Even when I'm not out closing Rifts and fighting dragons, Josephine keeps me busy with diplomatic meetings."

Lace made a face of disgust. "That sounds worse."

Julseithe laughed, some of her unease receding. "It is. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the Orlesians. No matter how many I meet I never get used to the masks."

"It's weird, isn't it? Like they're always hiding something from you. How do you have a real conversation with someone when you know they're keeping something from you?"

Lace's voice was casual, but Julseithe's anxiety spiked. She laughed, hoping it didn't sound as uncomfortable as she felt, and took a drink, hiding her expression with the tankard. She wasn't keeping anything from Lace, for Mythal's sake she was trying to tell her. Her diversion backfired as Julseithe choked on the thick, sweet mead in her haste and she ended up sputtering like a fool, one fist held against her mouth.

"You okay there, Inquisitor?" Lace tipped her head to one side.

"I'm fine," Julseithe coughed again. "Completely fine. What happened to Jules?"

A flush crept up Lace's cheeks. "Right. Jules. Old habits I guess." She rubbed the back of her neck in a way that reminded Julseithe of Cullen's awkward manner.

The blush made Julseithe's heart race. Do it now.

"There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

Lace recovered her composure, the blush fading, seemingly relieved for the apparent change in subject. "Of course, what's on your mind?"

"I know you said we should talk more about… things after Corypheus was defeated…" Julseithe took a deep breath before plowing ahead. "But I was thinking that we could talk about them sooner than that, like maybe now, or maybe not now but soon, just the two of us."

All the color seemed to drain from Lace's face. "Like… a date?"

Julseithe backpedaled as quickly as she could. "Only if you wanted to, of course. This is fine, just talking about not that, I don't want to put you on the spo—"

"Yes." Lace cut her off, color rushing back to her face until she appeared plum, washing away her freckles.

"Oh," Julseithe caught her breath, leaning back slightly. "Great."

"Where did you have in mind?" Lace didn't look at her as she asked, eyes trained deep into her tankard, and the blush had not faded.

Shit.

Julseithe had not considered that far out.

"I, well, I hadn't actually gotten that far," she blurted honestly, feeling her face approaching a similar hue to Lace's.

Lace peeked over the edge of her tankard at the other woman. "Maybe we could just, take a walk?" She gave an awkward shrug. "The ramparts are usually deserted."

Julseithe blinked at her, dumbfounded. "You mean now?"

Lace nodded, making the whispy curls around her face bob merrily. "I have nowhere to be."

Don't lose steam now Julseithe.

"That sounds perfect." Her voice sounded sure. Hearing it almost made her believe it. She pushed up from her seat too hard, making the chair bump roughly into the wall causing them both to start. A chuckle bubbled out of her throat.

The great Inquisitor, Herald of the Illustrious Andraste, making a fool of herself over a pretty girl.

The laughter was contagious and Lace's blush faded as they both fell into peals of giggles.

"Sorry about that," Julseithe offered, wiping her eyes.

Lace laughed again as she got to her feet. "Don't worry about it. Now when I trip over my own feet and fall on my face it won't seem so dramatic."

They left the tavern, silent except for the anxious buzzing in Julseithe's ears. She cleared her throat to break the strange quiet, which drew Lace's eye. "Do you really think you'd trip?"

"Nerves turn my feet to nugs," she offered as explanation.

Julseithe slowed her pace as they began to climb the stairs. "You're more nervous around me than when you skulk past enemy lines?"

Lace laughed, her perfect teeth catching the sun and making Julseithe's heart flutter. "No competition. The worst a bear or rogue Templar could do is kill me."

"What could I do that's worse than that?" They reached the rampart's peak and, clear of the walls, a gust of wind pushed Julseithe's nut-brown hair across her face. Sputtering, she brushed it aside to find Lace looking at her with a sweet, warm smile.

"That for one." She laughed, then sobered. "Or the way you chew on your lip when you think. The way your hands flutter around your dagger sheaths when you're nervous. You smile and everyone around you can't help but smile too. A million little things that stop my heart."

Julseithe was so red her mouth couldn't find words, she gaped at the dwarf, lips opening and closing before she swallowed hard and found her voice. "You're much better at this than me," she admitted.

"I've been… preparing for a while I guess you could say." Lace's smile was a mixture of sheepish pride

"You're definitely better at that than me." Julseithe remarked and they both laughed.

As Lace had guessed the ramparts were empty except for the two of them, and Julseithe found herself chewing on her lip as they walked. "Could I— I mean, would you be alright if I—" she floundered. Lace had known exactly what to say and she couldn't get out a whole sentence. "Creators save me. May I hold your hand?"

"I'd like that." She offered her hand.

Julseithe knew she looked like an idiot as she took the smaller woman's hand, wearing what Varric called her "shit-eating grin," but she wasn't much concerned with how she looked. Lace's hand bore the telltale calluses of bow work but between these rough patches was soft as silk.

"I haven't been preparing," Julseithe admitted. "So I don't think I can be exactly as eloquent as you were…" She glanced down at Lace's face and found her smiling encouragingly. "But I— well, I just think you're the kindest, prettiest, most interesting person I've ever met. I miss you when I'm gone, or you're gone, or even when we're both here but not together. I love your eyes, and your freckles, and your smile. I think about you all the time, I want to kiss you—"

She inhaled sharply and clenched her eyes shut, feet stalling midstep.

She'd said too much.

Dirthamen take her, she should have known she'd flub it up.

"I think you should."

Julseithe's eyes fluttered open in surprise. Lace was pink, one foot tucked behind the opposite ankle, nervously rubbing up and down.

"You do?" Her heart was hammering in her ears.

Lace nodded quickly. "I don't know if it's really allowed, you're the Inquisitor after all, and I'm, well I'm nobody, but I'd like to kiss you too—"

Julseithe cut off Lace's words, leaning down to press their lips together. She let her eyes drift closed and Lace squeezed her hand in surprise or excitement, but she didn't pull back.

Her lips were so soft and she smelled like fresh rain.

Julseithe relaxed into the kiss, letting her free hand drift up to cup the woman's face, thumb trailing ever so softly over her cheek.

It was better than she imagined, and she had imagined it often.

Reluctantly Julseithe broke the kiss and looked into Lace's clear green eyes. "How was that?"

"Better than I imagined," Lace replied with a breathy chuckle.

Julseithe couldn't stop the laughter that spilled from her throat, water coming to her eyes.

"What's so funny?" Lace tugged on her arm, blushing again.

"I was thinking exactly the same thing." Julseithe confessed.

The slight frown creasing Lace's brow cleared and she echoed Julseithe's laughter. "Do you think it gets better?"

"I think we should definitely try to find out."

[nessamaurice]

Simple, Ch. 12 (Loki x F!Reader)

Masterlist

Summary: Tony and the Avengers are in desperate need of something like a “babysitter” to have an eye on Loki and teach him “how to human”. He decided to stay on Midgard over the dungeons of Asgard as punishment for his deeds in New York. That’s where you swoop in. A simple receptionist at the Avengers compound. You have to share an apartment in the compound with Loki and damn, he’s a really tough nut. With your open and kind character it seems that you are slowly cracking his shell. But suddenly things are getting twists that will change your life and your relationships there irreversibly.

Story rating: M

Chapter trigger warnings: PTSD

Words: 3145

12

Suddenly the door was opened, got you startled and you backed away. The moment only lasted like two seconds, giving you not enough time to sort out what was just happening.

"Hey Y/N, how are y-... Uhm, what is going on here?" Tony looked at both of you, one brow raised. He was still wearing his suit except for the helmet, like his first thing to do after coming home was to look after you.

"What? No-, nothing. It's just that I had something like a little nervous breakdown and Loki helped me calm down again and-"

"Nervous breakdown?" Tony rushed over to you. "What do you need? I'm not good at that, camomile tea? Chocolate? Weed?"

You couldn't help but laugh at his helplessness. You carefully stood up to hug him and he returned the embrace.

"This would be a lot more comfortable if it wouldn't feel like I'm hugging a giant letterbox."

"Oh sure, sorry." He stepped away, exited his suit and pulled you into a hug again. "I'm so happy you are here." He pressed a kiss on the top of your head. "You hungry?" He looked to the side and saw the lonely breakfast being untouched.

"Yeah, my broken brain disturbed us getting breakfast."

"Then we should do some catching up on that immediately! Do you want to come upstairs? Nat and Steve are desperately longing for your company. Even Thor’s here, he just heard what happened, but he got instructions to keep it cool. They would be so happy to see you. But only if you feel like, of course. No pressure, hunbun. We're all chillin’."

"I'd actually like to see you all. Am I allowed to leave this mini hospital?"

"Oh, yeah, wait. Bruce, can she come upstairs?" He yelled over to the door and Bruce appeared from behind the wall where he obviously waited for the right moment to come in.

"I'll have a quick look at her data, but I think a little excursion upstairs will be beneficial."

"Great. I'll see you upstairs, cutie." Tony shared his broadest grin and awkwardly waved as he left the room.

You felt a bit funny, so turned to sit back on your bed next to Loki. He gently laid his big hand on your back to support you. Though it was wonderfully warm it sent a rush of goosebumps over your skin.

"Alright, let's see what the machines will tell me.", said Bruce as he walked over to the monitors. "Well, this looks not bad. We got a little heart rate increase but it didn't last long; I guess that was the panic attack you had. How do you feel? Take a moment before you answer."

"Uhm, I guess... I feel okay. So far. The cuts burn like hell itslef and I feel twitchy like a chihuahua and my head swims a bit... and as long as I don't think of what happened... it's okay..." By saying that your memory was just right back but before you sank into deep Loki pulled you a bit closer to him, sending your thoughts elsewhere.

"Before we get upstairs I think you should change into something more covering."

You looked down at your body and noticed the thin hospital dress hanging loosely from your shoulders. You felt the heat rushing to your face thinking of how crappy you must look right now, making you feel dizzy. The next second Bruce was by your side, laying down some fresh and comfy clothes next to you on the bed.

"Oh, you really don't have to feel embarrassed, everyone looks the same wearing hospital clothes. ...And you got anaemia, so…”

"...what?"

"I think what Banner wanted to say is though it is really lovely to see you blushing, your blood is too precious to only be in your cheeks right now." Loki explained with a low voice.

"Uhm, yeah. That is exactly what I meant." Bruce was visibly surprised by Loki's accuracy.

You laughed a bit. "Oh, okay. Well, thank you two. I'll change then."

You stood up and instinctively grabbed behind your back to open the knot of the dress, but paused. Suddenly you couldn’t bear the thought of being naked and exposed in a surrounding that felt like a lab. You were not prepared to view your body again, your bruised and scarred skin.

“What’s wrong?”, Loki asked. “Is something hurting you?

“I.. I… can’t…”, you struggled to find the words.

“Bruce, would you leave please? We will come in a minute.”, Loki said very politely.

“Yeah, sure. Take your time, Y/N.”, he said with a smile and left, understanding he was not the right person to help right now.

“Y/N, relax. Take a breath.”, Loki softly said.

You did as you were told. You looked at the hands in your lap. Suddenly the noise and beeping of the machines in that room became louder and louder in your ears.

“JARVIS, please play some calm songs from Y/N favorites.” It was like Loki was reading your mind. And the music actually helped you to relax a bit more.

“Are you able to tell me what’s making you uncomfortable? If you want to, you can show me as well.”, he said and offered his hand.

Your view was blurred by tears as you looked into his face and down to his hand. You drew a deep breath, and hesitantly lay your hand on his. You allowed your current feelings to slowly flow over to him. You couldn’t watch him, seeing the effects of your inner agony on his face. After a few seconds you suddenly felt a bit solace. You looked up to Loki in surprise. He sat there, eyes closed, concentrating. He was sending you some more pleasant feelings, but without overwriting yours. Before you got too confused he let go of your hand.

“I can change your clothes for you, if you assume it to be easier.”, he offered.

As you were thinking about that offer, he added, “That way you wouldn’t have to view yourself right now. And be assured that I have no other intention than easing your agony, don’t fear about your dignity. I will-”

“Okay.”, you interrupted him. You stood up and closed your eyes. “Please… help me. But no Seidr. That would freak me out right now.”

He stood up next to you and softly pushed you forwards a bit, so he could stand behind you and opened the knot of your dress. You audibly sucked some air into your lungs as you felt the light brushing of it falling down to the floor. The situation was so weird. Your whole body tensed up.

“Please hold up your arms so I can get you into this shirt first.”, Loki said lowly.

You did as you were told, but you did it slowly; you felt the scab from all your cuts pressing into your flesh with every movement.

He carefully pulled the wide shirt over your body. Out of instinct you opened your eyes as your head popped out of the shirt and met his eyes. He was only looking into your face.

Concerned he asked, “Is everything alright? Do you prefer doing this by yourself?”

“No. No, please, go on.” You closed your eyes again. “I… I need you to do this. I.. can’t.”

“No worries. We are halfway through. Please sit down now.”

What you just said was a little bit of a lie, because all you could think of right now was the soft look on his face and the feeling his piercing eyes caused in your stomach. You somehow enjoyed each of his gentle touches while he carefully dressed you.

“I think you feel better now? You are smiling. Or… is it too hot?” He touched your cheek with the back of his fingers.

“What? No, I’m usually freezing easily.”

“Oh, okay then.”, he just said with a little smirk. “Are you ready? Or do you need a moment?”

“No. I’m good to go. Thank you Loki.” You shared a genuine smile before you stood up.

You took a few steps as you went dizzy and your knees got weak. You almost kissed the floor but Loki wrapped one arm around your waist to hold you. The cuts he touched while catching you felt like little hot irons piercing your skin.

"Slowly, slowly, dear! Your enthusiasm is admirable but your body seems not to be at the same pace as your will. Maybe you want stay here?", Loki suggested.

"No!", you exclaimed, not willing to give in. "No, I want to go upstairs. I want to be in a surrounding that does neither look like a lab nor a dungeon. Just... hold me. Carefully."

"Alright, who am I to contradict such a determined woman.", Loki said with a smile.

He held you tightly but without hurting you. You wanted to put your arm around his neck but he was far too tall for that. He offered you his other hand to hold as additional support and you took it. You regretted it immediately because you remembered your powers and wanted to let go again but Loki insisted in holding you, assuring you that wouldn't be a problem. You were a bit... confused because didn’t feel that much, only a bit of inner calmness. But you didn't have much time to think over that, you were too busy concentrating on not to stumble all the way long. Finally you made it upstairs and were greeted by your weird family. They were so eager to restrain themselves to not overload you but it was uncanny to see how happy they were having you back with them halfway healthy, or at least alive. You weren't able to eat much, you had to get used to usual food again, but some toast with a hint of butter tasted like heaven to you. The breakfast was like balm for your soul. You were surrounded by people who dearly loved you though you haven't been a part of their group for very long. They were talking about random stuff, having fun, sometimes encouraging you to interact but never too much. After the breakfast, as everyone had to get back to their business, Tony approached you.

"Hey Honeybun, is everything alright? Do you need anything?", he asked you, one hand on your shoulder, giving you a broad grin.

"No, thanks Uncle Tones. The breakfast was great for me but I'm so tired. Do you think I could sleep in my own bed? I don't want to go down again..."

"I'm sure we can do that. Do you want me to stay with you?"

"No, it's okay. I want to rest a bit so maybe we can play Mario Kart later? Now you maybe even got a chance against me.", you smiled at him.

"That sounds great hunbun.", he said before he placed a kiss on your forehead. "And be prepared to munch my dust. Loki, please escort her to her room."

"Of course. Shall we go then?" Loki stood up in front of you, offering you his elbow for you to hook into.

You were just so happy to get into your own freshly made bed with the window front right next to you. Loki was outside in your personal living room reading, but left your door a small part open.

"JARVIS, please screen the windows to a minimum but not completely, I want to look outside."

"Of course, Miss. And please let me give you my deepest apology for my malfunctioning."

"Don't worry JARVIS, it's okay. I still like you.", you smiled into your pillow.

"Very pleasant to know, Miss. Do you want to listen to low music while falling asleep?"

"Oh that's a wonderful idea. Please, play my favorite songs that are not too wild."

Slowly you drifted into sleep, accompanied by your favorite music.

"I hope you had a nice dream"

You opened your eyes just to see Fieberbrunn again.

"Good, you're awake. So we can go on now.", he said while picking up a syringe with a purple shiny liquid.

"No, no, no. That's just a dream.", you said to yourself.

"Oh, you really think that? Is that a dream, too?" Fieberbrunn rammed to syringe into your arm.

You felt the burning pain of the needle and the ice cold liquid in your veins and all you could do was to scream.

You opened your eyes again and saw Loki.

"OH THANK GOD!", you cried as you threw your arms around his neck.

"It's alright, I'm here." He pulled you into a tight embrace.

"I can't sleep. As soon as I fall asleep I'm back there. I can't sleep. I can't ever sleep again.", you whimpered, holding onto him for dear life.

"Shh, let's try this again.", Loki said and climbed into your bed behind you.

"No, no. You can't always lay there with me as soon as I want to sleep. That's an imposition."

"Stop that rambling now and sleep.", he demanded.

"Are you sure?" You turned to look into his face, holding a soft expression, green-blue eyes halfway closed.

"Believe me, I won't get bored. Now sleep.", he assured you with a husky voice that sent shivers all over your skin.

He shuffled a little closer and put one arm around you, lightly holding onto one of your wrists because he didn't know where to put that hand else. Soon you could fall asleep again, no nightmares disturbing your rest.

The days passed by, turned into weeks and you slowly started to feel more human again. Everyone was just lovely to you, which made everything much easier. You shared beautiful childhood memories and inside jokes with your uncle, you finally met Pepper, Sam and Rhodey as your uncle threw a small party to celebrate that your cuts were completely healed (he insisted to do so). Loki was so ambitious to make you feel better. You had very interesting exchanges on God and the world, he went on walks with you and every time you went to bed he followed you faithfully and you shared the bed. It was harder and harder for you to deny what you felt, you brushed it aside as a natural consequence of being close to someone. Nevertheless, you had to admit you were enjoying every intimate moment you two had, may it be in conversation or tangency. It helped you to feel less twitchy. Tony even organized you some of the coolest gloves you could imagine, they looked like biker gloves but from light linen instead of leather so you wouldn't turn too hot inside them, and just the fingertips were left open, so you wouldn’t lose your haptic. In that way you could touch hands without an unwanted exchange of feelings. Bit by bit you felt more “normal” again.

One evening you and Loki watched a movie together while the others had to go on a mission. Tony had given you his much too tight hug as always as the left and said this one would take a few days, you should not worry. It was easier said than done.

"You were right, the book is much better." Loki ripped you out of your thoughts while grabbing into the popcorn bowl on your lap. His unbelievable long legs were stretched on the coffee table, one arm loosely behind your neck, the other shoveling popcorn into his mouth.

"Yeah, I know. But I like to watch it anyways. I'm a fan of the whole Star Wars EU and well, this is a part of it."

"EU?"

"Extended Universe.", you simply said, like there was no other explanation needed. You took the glove off your hand, the caramel popcorn always made it so sticky. You wiggled a little closer to Loki's side. He was just so tall, it always left you a bit in awe. It wasn’t easy for you to accept but being close to him was the only thing that kept you from turning anxious. He radiated some kind of peace and calmness you weren’t able to feel by yourself. And you adored his scent, this linen and leather fragrance made your senses go dizzy in the most pleasant way. Suddenly you had to think of how long it has been since your last kiss. It was like, literally ages. And you missed it. Really badly. Then all you could think of was kissing Loki. God, no, stop it already, stupid brain. You tried to push those thoughts away but they turned out to be super persistent. Hastily you grabbed into the popcorn bowl without looking and nabbed Loki's hand instead. It caught you so off guard that you couldn't even partly control your empathic powers. All your thrill and arousal was poured into Loki's mind, you couldn't pull away your hand fast enough. You pulled it to your chest and held it like it was broken, shrinking visibly and turning completely stiff.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to, I, uh, did you feel that?"

"Yes I did." You weren't looking at him (you couldn't) but you could hear in his words that he was smiling.

"Awww god, why? That's so embarrassing, I'm so sorry. I think I can never look at you again."

"That would be pure torture for me.", he said with a low voice, sending once again shivers down your spine.

"Don't do that." You demanded, laying your cold hands on your hot cheeks.

"Do what?"

"Speak like that. With your husky voice. It's not... helping."

"Maybe I don't want to help in that way." He touched your jaw line very gently before the confusion left you too puzzled and turned your head to face him. He looked you deep in the eyes, which just caused the aching inside you to heat up even more.

"What are you doing..."

"Shh."

His eyes pierced right into your soul as he moved slowly closer, now cupping your face with his big, warm hand. A silent sigh left your lips as you realized what was about to happen, you simply couldn’t restrain yourself anymore, and tilted your head. Your heart was beating so loud, your mind was all dizzy. What the hell am I doing? Stop it, stop already you dumb bitch! It’ll lead nowhere! You could taste his breath and it was just mouthwatering, ignoring your inner voice. He moved already so close but left the rest up to you and you wanted to go the last 10 % as the light was turned on. You jumped away a bit, cursing and thanking the troublemaker for disturbing you. You heard your uncle from the other side of the room.

"Y/N? Are you here? Oh good. Please, Loki, escort her to your rooms, I want you to be safe." Tony said very jittery.

"What is wrong, Tones?"

"We found him. The soldier from Hydra."

"Do... do you mean-" Your eyes widened while your pupils contracted.

"Yes. The soldier who killed the rest of our family."

Taglist: @it-jinxed-us​, @humbledarkness​, @lunawitch19, @redryderdesigns​

[star-shard]

Bringing the final day of my fast to a close, day three. Thought I'd reflect on it while still in 'calorie deprivation' or whatever.

Work today was kind of brutal. It wasn't hard, it was actually quite an enjoyable day. But BOY was there temptation. Free snacks, donuts, pizza, mac and cheese, the works. Nearly broke and had some but held myself back.

Fasting to this extent has been a mixed experience.

On the one hand it has the crappy parts: inconsistent mood, fatigue, occasional hunger pain, brain fog.

And there are new things I've discovered about it along the way: I'm capable of more than I think I am. The idea of not eating for three days was previously a nuts idea to me, like no way I could do that, I thought I'd collapse by day two.

But, I've held myself together fairly well. Was able to work on my feet, was able to go for long walks, and even got some bursts of energy along the way, it make me feel like an etherial creature working off of nothing.

So I guess in a way I've proven I'm more capable than I thought, if nothing else.

That being said, I think I'm doing the right thing ending it tomorrow morning. I can feel the binge monster starting to twitch and I really don't want to end this with a break down.

I'm sure to those that can fast for a week at a time, or multiple times a month, what I've done is 'childsplay', but we're all in different places ya know?

It's funny, I considered making it go on for one more day. And maybe I could be capable of it. But I think it's going to come down to quitting while I'm ahead.

Not to mention my mom is probably going to start getting suspicious if I keep whipping up excuses or going behind closed doors to 'eat'. She's already got enough on her mind.

While it's my plan to end the fast tomorrow, we'll see what happens.

I also want to tack on, don't fucking do what I did. This was not a good way to fast. I didn't take any vitamins, I didn't drink enough water, I slammed zero calorie soda and caffeine, I don't condone the act of fasting for rapid weight loss. It's not healthy.

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

7. Hello Officer

"Okay Ms. Stevens, you stay here in the car and keep the doors locked while I have a talk with Dr. Stevens."

"Just a talk?" Ivy balked at the thought. "You need to arrest his ass."

"Ms. Stevens.. I will try questioning him but you should know that I can't hold him without any evidence or probable cause and I can't arrest him without a warrant."

Ivy rolled her eyes deeply watching the freckled officer side-step from the car rising like an Amazon to approach the heavy glass door of the dentist's office.

"Well shit," Ivy mumbled as the officer swung it open effortlessly disappearing inside. "She strong. I'll give her that, but she should've called backup. That nigga ain't got em all."

Ivy looked over at her car which was sitting next to the police car before she put her eyes back on the door trying to peer through the darkened glass.

"If something happens to her, she left the keys," Ivy mumbled looking around for any onlookers or walkers. There were none. "I don't think she supposed to do that, but shit, I'm out this bitch with or without her."

---

"Oh, hello officer! You're responding to Dr. Stevens' call? I'll go get him now."

Trinity was greeted at the front desk by a spritely looking black girl with black box braids who seemed too ditzy and clumsy to be a criminal mastermind in any sense of the term. Her nameplate said Araya.

"Call? I wasn't aware he called, another officer must be on the way.." Probably Thomas, Trinity thought. "I came because I need to speak with Dr. Stevens if that's alright."

Araya stalled, confused. "Oh... Is it an appointment? I could schedule you."

The twin sister popped up a second later. They seemed to have different personalities though they looked so similar. She had a completely different look in her eye, one that said she might be capable of acting a nut. A look at the nameplate said her name was Draya. Trinity made a mental note to watch her.

"No. I need to ask him a few questions. I'd appreciate if one of you went to go get him."

They were complete airheads in Trinity's mind.

"Oh! Okay, certainly. Draya, go get him," Araya nudged sending her sister back to where she came from. "He should be right out."

Trinity nodded before she looked around the room, picking up magazines and putting them back down. The television was at a low calming hum and all the blue made her feel like she was on the beach.

While she searched for anything strange, her eyes darted around and a feeling told her to pay close attention to Araya.. so she looked subtly from the corner of her eye. Araya was full-on staring with a grin and sitting very still.. unhumanly still.

Trinity stood and walked toward the desk, resting her elbows on it as she peered down at the tiny ditz of a woman. She was the size of a child.

"You're a strange girl. How old are you?"

"Oh.. Me?" She pointed to herself and Trinity wanted to dry up on the spot. Who else was there? "I'm 22. I turn 23 in December."

"How long have you been working here?"

She blinked twice, her lip quivering before answering. "Um, since late 2016?"

Trinity did the math. She was 18-19 when she started.

"How much experience did you have? You were just out of high school or in your first year of college. How did you get this job?"

"Dr. Stevens was young too, he gave us a chance!"

As if on cue, the wooden door opened and a young black man stepped through reaching for her hand. He was outlandishly handsome and looked too young to be the dentist, but without hesitation, she grabbed and shook it. He had a gentle grip and humble eyes. He was also 6'2 which was taller than the men she was used to seeing.

"How long have you been a dentist? You look way too young.. like a baby," she squinted watching his eyes widen before his head dropped sheepishly with an awkward grin.

"Uh, I turned 31 in February."

That was a year younger than Trinity. Her eyes widened.

"That would mean you finished school quickly and jumped into your own practice," she spoke with wide eyes. He was highly intelligent afterall. But the motivation wasn't there. Why would someone so young and accomplished.. and incredibly good looking do any of what he was just accused of? It didn't make a lick of sense. He had way too much to lose.

"Um, I'm sorry..," he spoke with a glance to her nameplate, "Officer Howard how can I help you today?" He waved for her to have a seat on the navy leather couch next to the door as he sat across from her.

"Right. Pardon me for not introducing myself first. I need to ask you about an appointment you had today with a young lady by the name of Ivy Stevens."

He nodded tiredly.

"Dr. Stevens.. What can you tell me about the events of what happened?"

"Well," he sighed. "I called the police after she ran out of here so quickly, but it's not often that I have a client sprinting from my office after an appointment. Not unless they have to be back at work. I don't know her situation," he shrugged. "I figured she'd had a long day because you're not supposed to drink before an appointment. Makes it difficult for the blood to clot. But I went on and gave her the anaesthetic anyway... Then she fell into a fitful sleep while I worked around her... She mumbled a bit... I filled her cavities and when she woke up, she looked very strange and that's when she left her keys and her phone here and ran out. I was so confused. That's when I called the police. Unfortunately, I've been advised not to say much because professionally this could look bad for me.. but I needed to say that much."

"You said she looked strange when she woke up. Has that happened before?"

"Noo. This is the first time, that's why I was so worried."

"Hello.. How are you officer? Can I offer you some water," Draya chirped walking in.

"...Coffee."

"Ah ah ah, coffee stains," Araya giggled. We only have water."

Trinity winced. What she really needed was some hard liquor with all these conflicting details. She did smell a mild hint of liquor on Ivy that she'd noted. It could've been some sort of scam on Ivy's part or maybe things went sour with them at some point for whatever reason and Ivy wanted revenge. He looked like he could break hearts. There was more reason set up for Ivy to lie than there was for Dr. Stevens to lie.

"Did you know Ivy before the appointment today?"

"Did she tell you that?... We met once or twice before. I didn't think that had anything to do with this. She didn't seem that angry when I turned her down that time.. I was just so focused on building myself, you know? Shit. I said too much. I can't say anymore. I'm sorry. It's just business. I worked too hard."

"I understand," Trinity nodded looking to the twins who stood idly. "Alright well if you have anything else, let me know. Here's my card."

"Thank you ma'am... Draya, will you please go get the belongings Ms. Stevens left behind?"

"Yep." She came back quickly putting the keys and phone in Trinity's hands while Dr. Stevens looked over the card before sliding it into the pocket of his white coat.

"If you can, please return these keys and this phone to Ms. Stevens... Thank you."

---

Ivy watched as the door swung open and Officer Howard exited the office. She didn't look to be in a hurry or frantic. She didn't look to be concerned about much at all. She went to the driver's side and opened the door handing Ivy her phone and her keys.

"I spoke with him. His story is completely different from yours. If you want to pursue this, I suggest you come up with some evidence fast to back your claims immediately because as things stand.. it doesn't seem like your story has much substance. In the meantime, if you still don't feel safe and you want an escort home or somewhere else, I can follow you to make sure you get there safely."

"That's it.. that's all you're gonna do?" Ivy was disgusted and it was all over her face, she knew it. "Just follow me home then," she snapped hopping out to slam the door. "I'm going home to pack a bag and I'm going to my mom's house. Fuck this. I done told you he's a gotdamn stalker."

"Alrighty then. So I'll follow you home," Officer Howard said brushing her off to climb back into the police car.

Ivy growled, frustrated as she put on her seatbelt almost chipping her white polish. "Fuck." She slapped the wheel before taking a deep breath.

"Police ain't gone do shit," she mumbled pulling herself together. "Gotta handle this my gotdamn self."

Putting her car into reverse, she backed out and then threw it into drive. Officer Howard was right behind her in the review mirror.

"Just useless," Ivy muttered.

@honey-poooh @missshae @raysunshine78 @destinio1 @marvelmaree @honeytoffee @thickemadame @heykillmongerluhme @ghostfacekill-monger @killmongersmistress @soufcakmistress