#(also i like rolling quartz please listen to them)

[mobiused]

hi mobi mobiused thank you for all the loona blogging you do you’re a champion and a hero. i wanted to know what would your ideal loona album would look like in terms of songs and styling etc like if you got to be the creative and musical director on an album of theirs what would you love to see!

Thank you for the love and support it really means a lot to me. To be honest just because I know they would never do it and because Yves and I were talking about it the other night I would LOVE to see a j-idol style punk/grunge album from them. Now it really doesn't have to actually sound punk, (because 1. this doesn't work with twelve singers and 2. theyre kpop lets stick to that) it just appropriates the aesthetic from them. Ideally pulling from the j-rock scene way more than like present day cringe commercialised cleaned up bullshit you know what I mean. We can steal from the wardrobes of both Avril Lavigne and Tommy Heavenly6 though I'd be happy with that.

For the TT I'd like a shouty and fun song in major that makes you wanna sing along (Yeah sorry this is another 4th gen idol songs without a melody in the chorus LOL) like okay I'm seeing the vision it's a summer school's out anthem like mmm if I had to use examples I'd mix Billlie's Ring Ma Bell (which I thought had the right spirit but was unfortunately way underproduced) and OK please don't think I'm cringe but maybe like you know when Paramore's tone shifted and it became pop rock so yeah like Aint it Fun. So like that... Like a lot of rough guitar presence still but overall it's a good time cheerful mood you know. Maybe a little bit melodic in the chorus then I guess. And also it actually sounds good And thematically going back to the 'Schools Out' theme (And when I say school I mean way less school and way more summer holiday) we're gonna expand on what rebellion means to the girls in-lore. Like what exactly are our silent protests and what are they for. Why are the girls outsiders (aside from the obvious) and where are they taking it. Like I say every time someone asks me I would like it if they picked up the threads that were dropped in the previous MV. Like literally any semblance of continuity would be massively appreciated. And I also think that instead of a loud fuck the haters ITZY-core style rebellion (sorry I actually love ITZY but they're camp and LOONA's pretentious, so), I think building on the theme of Why Not where it's more about aligning oneself with your own values and moving forward in life independent from societal views, as opposed to that meme which is like >lives life in opposition to something >inadvertently makes entire life about said thing (you guys know what I mean. probably) would be a really good way to further it. And it doesnt have to be that lore-y its just like yeah this is a thing that fits with LOONA's brand.

And as for B-sides well they still need to do a real UK House song because flop that does not fucking count. Actually we need a Day & Night sequel forget UK house lets get UK GARAGE. Because it's fucking good and we need another. I think we can bring back a featured instrumentalist not necessarily guitar but like literally anything because getting Jungmo from TRAX on Love & Live went hard as hell even if the song itself was erm. Anyway. I also want it to be danceable because I fucking miss a classic LOONA intro (*says classic but they only did it for two TTs lol*). And I'm bored of explaining so here's the imaginary setlist 1. Intro ft. famous Korean musician 2. Kpop rock title track 3. R&B summer sunset cruising anthem 4. I actually kinda ended up liking the interpolation of Gloria Gaynor in After Like so maybe a vaguely disco inspired track because this is my imagination and I can do what I want 5. UK Garage track. Promoted Bside that shows off their vocals. Yeojin gets a part which shows off her vocals as a treat. Hyeju can have a rap with way too much english that fails to scan because I think it's cute. 6. Acid house track with trance influences and this one can be the fun one at concerts where they just kind of aimlessly hop around and pick up slogans from fans as if they're really gonna keep them

Noticeably NO FUCKING BALLADS.

...Or they could just rip off Rolling Quartz the only group that is doing k-rock right atm teehee

[married-2-the-music]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Rolling Quartz 🎸

Rolling Quartz is the fourth band I’ve covered here, and the first girl band, which is very exciting! They debuted in 2020, with five members: bassist Arem, guitarists Iree and Hyunjung, vocalist Jayoung, and drummer Yeongeun. They aren’t exactly K-pop, but instead a blend of that and k-rock. Here are my credentials: I’ve been a fan of Rolling Quartz for a while now, after being recommended their excellent cover of Dreamcatcher’s Good Night, and though I know they’re not that popular (and so this review is more for me than other people), I thought it’d be fun to do to break up the SHINHWA epic.

Blaze was their debut, and what a debut it is! Coming right out the gate with a blistering, half-minute-long guitar riff, inspirational lyrics, and Jayoung’s signature husky contralto. From this first song, they immediately stand out from the crowd: besides playing instruments, having a grungier style and music video, and dabbling more in rock, their music also feels more personal, probably due to the fact that they weren’t assembled by a company but instead formed on their own and have the power to write their own songs.

Delight starts out quieter than Blaze, though it doesn’t stay that way for long. It keeps the inspirational lyrics, with a slower, more minimalistic opening that feels like it’s holding its breath until the song explodes in rock bliss. It’s a masterclass in pulling back and rushing forward, and keeps you guessing—in a good way. This was never one of my favorites as a casual listener but I’m pleased to say this changed my mind.

Holler starts with the somewhat haunting call of “Holler, holler, holler”, befitting of the MV’s vampiric inspirations (especially Jayoung’s awesome dress), and the chant repeats again in the post-choruses as a break from the established build ups. It’s definitely reminding me of a Taemin song, with its seductive creepiness, albeit based on far more of a rocky vibe than is usual for him. Overall, I like this one more this time too!

From the EP, Fighting, I liked the crisp guitar riffs of Higher and of course their excellent cover of Dreamcatcher’s Good Night...but my favorite would have to be Azalea. Adapted from an old poem protesting the Japanese occupation of Korea, it’s the true definition of an anthemic, passionate, head-banger, and I hope one day (Hera willing) I’ll get to experience its incredibleness in concert.

One is a collaboration, and goes more of a teen-movie-soundtrack-pop-punk route; as one comment I saw said, “it sounds like it could be from a Monster High movie.” Which is absolutely not criticism, by the way; though I don’t think that One is as good as tracks like Blaze, Delight, or Azalea, it’s a fun break from the darkness and makes me want to relive my younger teenage years (though maybe not all of them, let’s be honest here).

Nazababara is their return after a while, and goes a much sunnier, brighter route, making it feel less like a political anthem and more like one for a night out for friends. I love the segments with less instrumentation in the pre-chorus so that the vocals have time to breathe, and of course the short “you got me, got me” bridge was a highlight too. It’s a short song, but a memorable one.

Sing Your Heart Out is a b-side, but it was given a music video so I’m treating it like a single. It’s harsher in sound and darker in tone than Nazababara, and more true to their usual sound. The guitar riffs are as sharp as ever, and have a great sense of build in those pre-choruses, before the chorus appears to smash everything out of the park. It definitely had me banging my head, especially during that great guitar breakdown and outro.

I’m A Loner isn’t a usual Rolling Quartz song in many ways; it’s both a collaboration with Nam Do-hyun, and an OST. But, it retains their staples of driving beats and Jayoung’s strong voice with those sharp guitars that propel it forward. I hadn’t actually heard this song before this deep dive, but I ended up liking it. I wish it had more of a cathartic end to its great build-up, but otherwise it’s pretty good.

Fearless takes a more EDM-based approach to its rock, for another banger, this time choosing something I normally dislike: an “I’m-so-cooler-than-you” song…and yet, they pull it off! That guitar solo was perfection and I couldn’t resist the urge to dance along with them as they played their instruments in the rain (which I hope they didn’t have to film more than once).

Reminiscence is their most recent single, and though it starts with a sharp snare drum, its first verses are actually a quite straightforward ballad, made unique by the ever-present power in Jayoung’s voice. But of course, since this is Rolling Quartz, it soon becomes a power ballad worthy of single status, and manages to be incredibly captivating despite its music video only being them playing their instruments in their studio, and it actually became one of my favorites of theirs. Also, I had no idea that Jayoung plays piano, so that was a fun surprise.

I’m glad I did this! I knew I would have a great time, but it was still a fun ride. I forgot how few songs Rolling Quartz actually has, but when every one of them is so high in quality, I can’t really complain. I learned a lot more about them as people too, watching some interviews and behind the scenes content and having some good laughs along the way.

My Top 5 songs are Blaze, Azalea, Nazababara, Reminiscence, and Fearless, with Sing Your Heart Out as an honorable mention. Rolling Quartz gets a 9 out of 10 from me, the same as The Rose did, which isn’t surprising at all. I don’t think that there’s a single song of theirs I don’t like, and very few that I don’t love. They’re remarkably consistent and incredibly talented, and I can’t wait to see what they do next!

Next time, we’ll finally be finishing the SHINHWA deep dive, so stay tuned. Tschüss!

[saiyanandproud]

Don't mind Ketch just sidling up to Mariko and sliding over a piece of paper to her, a devious grin over his scarlet features. Especially do not mind Isa's glowering look, not at all tinged with jealousy. Plum is wisely staying out of this, eating his breakfast and keeping his head down.

your name: Lord Ketch of the planet Brench

your age: I think 25 by human years? (in Brench years it's 50).

your perfect date: Looking into your eyes on a nice dinner date. I can see my reflection in them. I am handsome.  

make out in private or in public?: There's a roomy supply closet nearby if you're up for it. 

do you like to cuddle?: Maybe after the first date. 

tell me something about you: I know 37 different languages.

why do you want to be my valentine?: This Valentine's day sounds like a fun festivity, I'm sure you want celebrate it with the best looking soldier on the ship. Also, Isa said no.

"I know Lord Cooler is your crush, but he's a real stick-in-the-mud and doesn't appreciate the attention of a pretty girl. You should move on to the next best thing, which is definitely me."

"Oh, please," Isa muttered, rolling her quartz-rose eyes. "Mariko, don't listen to this idiot."

Undeterred by Isa's insults, Ketch's smile only widened as he chuckled. "Now, now, Isa, you missed your chance. No need to be jealous of Mariko here!"

"Ugh, you're incorrigible!" The Arcosian huffed, turning away with her nose in the air. "You're the one whose jealous of Lord Cooler. You're not even half as handsome or clever as he is!"

"We'll let Mariko decide that! What'd you say, Mariko? Would you prefer me or Lord Cooler as your Valentine?"

A Valentine's Application

Mariko read the piece of paper with a curious look. She was just at the third point when her cheeks reddened, whether in embarrassment or amusement she wasn't sure, and her lips curled into a grin. She had to clasp them tight as she kept reading, to stay in character and deliver a proper answer to that bold offer. This guy really was something.

Outright ignoring her comrade's comment on her supposed crush on their leader -- there were too many gossips around already, and she had decided not to feed any -- she leaned against her chair and folded her arms, observing Ketch and Isa bickering with an amused, wide smirk. Next to her, Plum loudly slurped on his drink, doing everything to pretend he wasn't there.

She wasn't an idiot. She knew this was a move to make Isa jealous. The scribbled 'Also, Isa said no' was a clear request for help there. And the improbable yet growing friendship she had with Ketch was enough to make him believe he could trust in her support with that. Mariko didn't know what got them that close and made them read each other so easily. Maybe the fact that both came from prominent families that just couldn't find the will be proud of them.

"I didn't know you knew so many languages, Ketch", she said casually. "Impressive. You got the brains, on top of the looks," she joked, giving him a wink.

It seemed to work. Isa's eyes snapped back at her with a baffled look, confusion clear on her pearly face. Ketch grinned, catching Mariko's drift, and theatrically ran a hand through his hair.

"What can I say. I'm full of surprises," he bragged.

Mariko's smirk grew larger. "Indeed."

Mariko sighed, looking back down at the paper. Her finger tapped on her arm as she put up a pondering pout.

"I mean... I am a bit homesick, so a Valentine's day date would be fun, I suppose. And hey, we do get along," she pointed out with a casual shrug. "Who knows, you might even be my type. I mean, you're good looking, brave, fun... And bold to the point of asking me out," she listed, staring at Ketch while making sure Isa wouldn't miss any of the qualities she was enumerating. "What's not to like? A girl can't help but give a chance to a daring guy like you, am I right?" And with that she looked at Isa, as if asking for her opinion. "I mean, didn't Lord Cooler say he had been fighting bravely on our last mission, or something?"

Isa glanced away while Ketch couldn't keep himself from turning to study her reaction, the largest shit-eating grin on his face. The female Arcosian let out something similar to a hiss.

"Something like that," she muttered sourly.

"He fought half of the soldiers on his own," Plum quietly recalled, implicitly not stating that he took on the other half. Mariko grinned. Clearly, he was on board with the plan, too.

"Exactly." She agreed, then rolled her eyes with a dramatic sigh and glanced up at the ceiling. "Plus, all these stupid gossips on my crush on Lord Cooler... I wish there was a way to stop them. So, who knows," she pondered, tapping a gloved finger on her lips. "Maybe going on a date with someone else would work. I think Neiz, Dore and Salza have been starting to place bets on my crush," she frowned. "That would get them to stop, hopefully."

"They have," Ketch confirmed with a nod, as if it was a well-known fact on the spaceship. He leaned over, resting a hand on the back of Mariko's chair, and offered her a dashing smile. "So? What do you say, gorgeous?"

Mariko laughed. Isa, behind Ketch, was fuming.

"Showoff," Mariko grinned, keeping up with the farce as she stared at Ketch with an amused look. "Sure, why not. After all, as you said, a pretty girl like me is wasted on someone who doesn't appreciate her... And while I'm not sure about checking the supplies closet, dinner does sounds nice. We should land on the next planet to get some more fuel in a couple of days, so... Why don't you start checking on nice places to eat, gorgeous?" She suggested, narrowing her eyes at him with a suave smile. "Of course, you're paying."

With that, she took her tray, stretched her legs with a measured slow movement, and stood up with a studied curve to arch her back, which neither Ketch nor Isa missed, the former with a interested look, the latter with an outraged one. Plum let out a patient sigh, as if he could see that coming.

"I'll meet you at the spaceship doors at sunset in two days, Lord Ketch of the planet Brench" Mariko told Ketch with a mellow voice, brushing his shoulder with a light touch of her hand as she left. "And I'll make sure to wear something nicer than this flashy armor, for once," she added with a wink.

Ketch nodded, this time less boldly than before -- in fact, his cheeks seemed redder than usual, while Isa's face was a fluorescent pink, her white lips distorted in a grimace. Mariko smiled and walked away lightly rolling her hips, back towards the counter where Neiz and Dore had been enjoying the whole scene from. She put the empty tray down, gave the two soldiers an annoyed frown, and quickly dissimulated it while walking out of the cafeteria in slow, long steps, arms lightly oscillating at the same rhythm.

"Sounds like you got a date," Isa commented coldly between her teeth.

Ketch, who was still staring at the door Mariko walked out from, nodded faintly.

"Yeah... I mean, yeah," he cleared his throat, shook his head, and flashed Isa a grin. "Aren't you happy for me?"

Isa wheeled her head away with a snort. Her pink eyes fell on Plum, who was still busy finishing his breakfast and praying to be out of there as soon as possible.

But not on her watch.

"Plum," she called peremptory, slamming a hand on the table and making the poor Durian jump on his seat. "Do you have plans for Valentine's day?"

"What?!" Ketch screeched.

"Oh boy," Plum groaned.

[z-exo-l]

My Top Kpop songs of 2022

So, 2022 was a rough year for me and mine. We survived it, and truly things could have been much worse, but it didn’t make for many happy repeat listens, Kpop wise. It’s a shame, because there were SEVERAL well-deserved solo debuts this year, and I feel like I didn’t give a lot of the songs the appreciation they deserve. To be clear, I did enjoy this music, and the year wasn’t wholly without happiness, I just couldn’t muster up as much enthusiasm as normal. But that’s okay, I’m going to desperately hope that 2023 is a better year, for all of us. 🤞🏻

There’s plenty of artist repetition, like always, BUT, this year has the most female entries so far! (Even those are a little repetitious, but I digress!) Let’s begin.

Honorable Mentions

Veil by Lay: Yixing nailing it every time! I didn’t love this song, (an unfortunate trend for Lay songs lately) but I have to mention it, if only for his sheer talent. ♥️ Bite by D.O: I’ve still got to watch this drama, but I’ll take any opportunity to hear Kyungsoo sing! Especially in a spooky, punk r&b style!

Dice by Onew: Even if I didn’t exactly care for how Jinki sang this, the MV is quintessential SHINee, the black and white look was A+, and his dancing was delightful!

Zoom by Jessi: I know who Jessi is, of course, her music just doesn’t really suit me. But this song had me giggling from the lyrics and dancing from the beat. A fun little earworm. 

⚠️Good Night by Rolling Quartz: PLEASE check these girls out if you haven’t yet! They’re a kickass girl K-Rock band (their vocalist Jayoung has an outstanding rock voice!) that are hustling their hearts out and not nearly enough people know about them! The only reason this is in honorable mentions is because this is a Dreamcatcher cover.

TOP 20

20. Vision by Dreamcatcher: I appreciate the environmentalism concepts the girls did this year, and to me this track is far superior to Maison.

19. Diamonds Only by WayV: Phantom had some excellent aesthetics, but this groovy B-Side had the best sound on the album.

18. Cursor by Purple Kiss: I’ve grown to appreciate an angsty pop-rock song, and the stripped down instrumental paired very well with PK’s voices. (I’ll miss you Jieun 😢)

17. Don’t Wait by Super Junior: A goofy, happy SuJu track is always welcome. It’s kind of fabulous that one of the silliest groups around is also one of the oldest; and the drag in the mv is just the cherry on top.

16. Bear Hug by Suho: I loved Suho’s powerful vocals here. And like I’ve mentioned, I think his time on stage really helped his stability. Beautiful singing!

15. Summer Rain by Purple Kiss: The vocals of this song are just right for a rainy day, and the melody is very folksy.

14. Traveler by Chen: A gentle, toe-tapping song that was a great addition to Last Scene! His ballads are obviously excellent, but more mid-tempo Jongdae numbers, please. (Bye Babe w/ 10cm was a BOP, mkay?)

13. Fire Flower by Purple Kiss: The rhythm and Eastern influence on this track are very compelling! Unfortunately this song gives me a terrible case of musical amnesia, so even though I like it a lot I always forget how it sounds. 😅

12. Love is Dead by Purple Kiss: A very catchy and almost haunting song; the kind of track I love from PK. And I’ve tried to figure out what era of music this makes me think of, and outside of a sample (I think) all I can come up with is 90′s or 00′s girl group. Works for me!

11. INVU by Taeyeon: The AESTHETICS of this MV!!! It hooked me like you wouldn’t believe, it is GORGEOUS! And musically this is my first Taeyeon song to top Spark! Goddess indeed! 😍

10. Devil by Changmin:

This song is AMAZING! Give this man all the praise and appreciation for putting Gospel and Blues into a KPOP song!! And that’s not even talking about his voice! His voice is so high, but forceful that he’s able to match it pitch for pitch! Criminally underrated!

9. Feedback by Xiumin:

This is a song, like many dance tracks, that absolutely SLAPS when the mood is right! If this came out during the dubstep era, (the very tiny window where I went clubbing) this would’ve been on constant repeat. As it is it’s still a really fun song to bop around to. ☺️

8. Pretty Psycho by Purple Kiss:

Outside of a really niggling, almost distracting Britney Spears sample, this is an awesome song. It’s very dance-able, but still has that signature wickedness that I love about PK. And the vocals menacingly glide over the instrumentals in almost a Eurythmics style. Easily the best track off MemeM!

7. Decanting by Suho:

Mature idols being allowed to sing sbout mature subjects will always get me, and while I compared it Baekhyun’s Drown, Decanting feels like a much slower, more lavish type of seductive sound. You could play this during a rainstorm, or on a commute, or at a café, and by the end you’d feel contented and satisfied. Beautiful guitar, and stupendous vocals. Well done Junmyeon!

6. Hot by Seventeen:

Even though I think the autotune almost teeters into too much, this song is immensely delightful and catchy. You can always count on Seventeen for something fun and happy, and that was something I needed a lot this year. And it was probably the best song released in 2022 that I could just shut my brain off and boogie to.

5. Voyager by Kihyun:

I obviously love rock and kpop, so it was especially exciting to learn that not only was Kihyun having his solo debut, but it was a rock song! This was such a great track; very easy to sing along with, as well as just rock out to around the house. Kihyun has the perfect voice for the genre, and I’m already very excited for his next comeback. 

4. Brand New by Xiumin:

I’ll be the first to admit the sample took some getting used to, but once I did, this song was stuck in my head constantly. Even without the sample though, I love Brand New’s retro sound; most people brought up the 90′s, but what came to mind to me were the effects from the late 60′s/early 70′s, which I love, and it’s a great match for Minseok’s voice. Not to mention it has crazy athletic choreo that showcases what a talented dancer he is! It was the perfect debut song for Minseok, and I’m SO proud of him!

3. Mango by Super Junior:

I LOVE this song and I LOVE that it’s from SuJu! This came at a point in the year when I wasn’t enjoying a lot of the releases coming out. But omg, this song! The pre-chorus, the colorful mv, the KRY bridge, the display of experienced talent all around (vocalist Eunhyuk, center Shindong!) Ahh! The song is a gotdang BOP!

2. Love by Monsta X:

I pretty much always give high spots to the songs I can dance to, and on the rare occasions the urge struck me this year, Love was the was the song I was most often shuffling to in my kitchen. It didn’t start out this high on the list, but more and more often I caught myself wanting to play it just to brighten my mood. The chorus is super catchy, but at the same time it’s still laidback and easy to listen to thanks to the instrumental, and Joohoney’s parts make me giggle. A great track if you need a pick-me-up!

1. Hurdle by Suho:

The biggest surprise of 2022! I was so stunned that Suho released a song like this, but the funky pre-chorus had me hooked immediately! Plus for as high register as Suho sings, it works shockingly well against the 80′s pop rock sound. It almost gives Joan Jett with Pink Floyd vibes??? …If those comparisons make any sense! Anyway! Then you throw in an almost wacky, utterly surreal mv, and this track all but demands a revisit. It was one of the only songs this year that had me on first listen, and I’m still not sick of it. I hope the other members follow in your tracks Junmyeon, and dare to be just as experimental, because damn does it pay off!!

So ends the countdown for 2022. Kyungsoo has said that he was recording for his album, Jongin said that he’s deciding on a title track right now, and Chanyeol wants to release a solo album as well. Then Suho declares more than once that there will be an EXO 2023 comeback as soon as Baekhyun is back from the military. …I’ve been an exo-l long enough that I’m handling this with a healthy bit of skepticism, but I’ll hope for at least the exo comeback, and go from there. Who knows, with any luck at all my next top 20 will be chock full of exo songs. :-)

I hope you all had a great, or at least survivable 2022. Happy New Year, and have a great 2023!

[hwichanis]

Hiya hope you are doing well! I was wondering if you could post a list of underrated and less popular Kpop groups, male or female or both! Just looking to get into some new lesser known groups because I’m already into the main ones lol. Plus I’m starting to like some smaller groups but I’m sure there are more I’m missing! ❤️💜

Hello!!! I am nothing if not an agenda pusher, so I would love to give you some groups to check out. I will admit that I am pretty bad on the girl group front. I don't listen to many and the ones I do the most are like... Purple Kiss/Le Sserafim/Red Velvet who I would say all have a fairly large fanbase but I tried my best haha.

WEi

TAN

Kingdom

Craxy

Bvndit

Rolling Quartz (they are a band and a little more on the heavy rock side but they are crazy good!)

BDC

Just B

So, I also HIGHLY recommend TNX. I don't know that I would consider them "less popular" or "underrated" though. They did better than most of the groups on this list with their one release, and I feel they are going to become fairly popular. BUT I wouldn't be me if I didn't tell you to go show them some love. They are crazy talented boys with loveable personalities.

Anyway, I hope you find a group or two to love from this list! If you end up liking any please let me know. I would love to hear about it. <333

[emeraldbabygirl]

Today I learned that J.Heart from N.Sonic married a fan, there’s a whole video of it on YouTube please I’m so drained I’m dropping green slime like the gremlin I am. I know so many older ex idols of kpop groups where and how is this happening ugh what in the y/n wattpad having ass I beg and beg and I get nothing. Where is my hot husband? I don’t think I’m being selfish I think I deserve some eye candy in my life I think I’ve been through enough. GD hello I’m single and I’m free just let me know and I’ll give you my address please. Takuya pay for my plane ticket and I go to Japan for you or wherever your sexy ass is juseyo please? 🥺 and it’s always the ex idols or older idols like I get it, relationships and communication and commitment and language barriers and sexy people and I’m LITERALLY THE LIL GREMLIN UNDER LEE JUNGSHINS BED EATING HIS TOENAILS I AM STARVING PLEASE and it’s the older male idols and the older female idols I bawled my entire pussy out when I found out Miss Ma’am Moon Hyuna from 9Muses was not only married but had a child ugh. ALL MY 9MUSES WIFES ARE MARRIED TO PEOPLE THAT ARE LESS PRETTY THAN THEM BUT MORE PRETTY THAN ME WHERE IS

IM PERFECTLY AVERAGE AMD SLIGHLTY MENTALLY UNSTABLE AND HATE LITERALLY EVERYONE AND HAVE SO MANY PROBLEMS IN GENERAL BUT KAIN MY LOVE LEE SANG THE LOVE OF MY LIFE FOR ONE MAN I CAN MANAGE.

IF I HAVE TO SETTLE FOR JAY OR NIKI FROM EPIPEN OR..KEEHOS GEN Z ASS I FUCKING WILL I WILL TAKE THEM AND RUN CAUSE I HAVE NO MORE HOPE FOR ME. Call me a dramatic lil bitch but I’m so jealous and I blame my father for my intoxicatingly tragic fear of men ??? but wanting a relationship listen I know it doesn’t make sense trust me I am a walking ball of “brain isn’t braining” as the kids say these days. Either some entity or god or fate or whatever you want to call it has something beyond my wildest dreams in store for me later or I just have bad luck and all said spiritual entities really hate me that much. I know I’m being dramatic but the greesy lil gaslighting mouthwashphobic gremlin jumped out and I can no longer hold her back. I am as unhinged as my twitter and that’s just the way I am. I just get jealous of people in relationships because I tell myself I’m not interested and then I want one and then I don’t and then I say I’m a walking self defense mechanism and then I cry that I’m single and ugly but I don’t do anything to care about being pretty or taking care of myself like I swear my 3 braincells and the 5% of my good personality are a catch. My sweet Erwin Pattrick Pennors please 💍 man jealously is one hell of a drug “frfr” as the kids say these days. I just want to be happy but I feel like if I don’t get in a relationship or if I don’t do this or this I won’t be happy or if this does happen, what if the wattpad y/n gods actually bless my shitty life and I don’t like it and I’m not happy then what? Is it the disappointment of the future fueling my rage or is it the unknown. IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE JESUS MAKE IT MAKE SENSE PLEASE IM SO TIRED OF EXISTING FOR THE SAME ROUTINE EVERYDAY YET IM TOO TERRIFIED TO DO ANYTHING ELSE IM LITERALLY PERFECT FOR SOMEONE WHO IS MENTALLY UNWELL LIKE ME 😭😭😭😭😭

ALSO YES I AM JEALOUS OF PLEASE THAT GET TO GO TO CONCERTS AND FANMEETS AND HAVE FANCALLS AND GET NOTICED BY THEIR FAVS ON THE INTERNET AND GET TO RANDOMLY MEET IDOLS OUT OF NOWHERE OKAY ITS TAKEN FOREVER FOR ME TO ADMIT CAUSE I STUFFED IT DOWN MY THROAT AS MY ANXIETY COULD NEVER I AM AFRAID OF MEN I HATE LARGE CROWDS I CANT DO IRL WITH REAL PEOPLE AND MAYBE SOME OF THAT IS TRUE OKAY I do get nervous around humans of the male species that are strangers and idols are no different but everyone gets nervous when they meet an idol right? Not just my ass thinking “I’m quirky” for whatever bs situation I made up in my head I get it I do but jeez I have to be so damn loud about it and literally no one fucking cares they don’t. Kain and Lee Sang and Daeil and Rolling Quartz and Grace and other idols don’t care about what I say they just appreciate the kind words like anyone does. I have been trying to get Kain to look at my insta for like 2 months and no it’s so dumb and not worth it like I just am not the main character and never will be I’m too mentally off and ugly and dramatic and just the vibes are like static and a sharp object to a balloon. Some things just don’t and won’t work out no matter how much you want it too. If it takes an another famously “delulu” rant on all my social media’s to discover this than so be it.

Maybe in 2023 I should stick to working on my own problems and my mental health and focus on driving and learning how to adult instead of wanting a hot husband and all these toxic scenarios I come up with in my head. I get jealous of people on social media who get famous and are followed or known by idols ya’know I think sometimes everyone does but some people just do things in a way that the pieces just fall together and that’s just it.

Good lord I think I’m done now I’m still jealous and sometimes I get sad about it and I might later cause ya’know

✨ moon tingz ✨

I’m fine fine ya’know. I just crave attention and want people to call me pretty and foam at the mouth and ya’know fun celeb stuff. I know I have friends that love me and give me compliments and I will forever be grateful for that no matter how long they are my friends but sometimes I just want one specific thing from one specific person even if it’s “delulu.” Anywee have this picture of something

[lunesouls-12]

✧- Introduction Post! -✧

Now playing: Tot Musica - Ado

Welcome to my account! The name's Lune, and I'm delighted to have you here!

I'm just a young being who likes being with devices, playing games, and listening to music. I also do roleplaying at certain times. (don't think of anything weird, please and thank you)

I tend to put little emoticons at the end of my sentences sometimes, ehe. :>

Here are some of the things I like!

Genshin Impact (but I'm a lazy player with not-so-good builds, curse meeeeee)

K-pop and its branching genres, if you can say that (here's the thing, I'm a stan that mostly has gg's in their list)

Snacks (because I just had to put them in the list.)

Anything that has caramel, white chocolate or almonds in them. <3

Stories, fictional things, creating imaginative stuff.

Here's my stanlist: LOONA, Dreamcatcher, Rolling Quartz (one of my most favorite bands <3), and many more.

Anyways, after this not so long introduction, I suppose it's time for me to sign off. See you next time, when I have time to post something! (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

[inkandpen22]

Chaotic As The Sea (2/?)

Pairing: Jack Sparrow x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warning: None

Part Summary: The Black Pearl docks in the Turks and Caicos for supplies. Y/N shows some of the crew her knowledge. 

Masterlist

Five Days Later... 

Y/N

After many days at sea, we port in the Turks and Caicos for some supplies. I ponder the time on the island. One, to enjoy being on solid ground again. Two, to get some fresh air away from these men. Three, to purchase more herbs and crystals. Being at sea again doesn't only make me sea sick, but the salty air also has its affects. I'm in dire need of lavender to help me sleep. 

The town has booths lining the streets just a few yards from the dock. People are selling livestock, produce, clothes, everything. I march off the boat with my satchel, ready to make a few purchases of my own. 

When I step off the board onto the dock, Jack grabs my arm. "Where are you going?" 

I yank my wrist free with a huff. "Shopping." 

"For what?" 

"Herbs. Want to come?" You offer rhetorically. 

"You shouldn't go alone." He worries. 

"It's a miracle I survived the last few years without you watching me like a hawk, Jack, truly." I roll my eyes and continue on my way. 

As I stroll along the brick road, I stop at a booth that has various types of crystals laid out on a cloth. 

“Is this real rose quartz? Where did you find it?” I question with a narrow gaze at the old gentleman.  

“Oh... uh..." He struggles to conjure up an answer. Then, it blurts out of him with a snap of his fingers. "The deep forests of Singapore!” 

I laugh, tossing the piece of stone back onto the table. “Nice try.” I walk away from the confused man and begin down the path, passing vendors as they shout into the street. 

Will appears beside me. “How did you know it was fake?” 

“There are only three places rose quartz is found. Singapore isn’t one of them.” 

“You must know a lot about crystals and minerals, witchy stuff.” 

I stop, meeting the boy's eyes warningly. “I’m not a witch.” My sight flickers about us, checking for any eavesdroppers. “I don’t touch dark magic. Words like that could get me hanged!” 

He holds up his hands in surrender. “My apologizes.” 

I roll my eyes and walk away from the boy. Clearly, he's seen very little of the broad world. He hasn't exactly been running with Healers for very long. 

He jogs up beside me. “How did you get into all of this?” 

“My grandmother," I answer absentmindedly as I take notice of a vendor selling herbs. I'm in dire need of lavender. It's been ages since I've slept on a ship and the rocking keeps me awake. 

“Is everyone in your family Healers?” The boy questions some more. 

 “Just the women.” I begin to wonder if he's taking a survey.

He follows me over to the herb booth and I begin to analyze the quality. He hovers over my shoulder like an obsessed hawk.  "And they’re strict about witchcraft in Ireland?” 

Again, I laugh. Earning a strange look from the elderly woman across the table. “Who told you that? Gibbs or Jack?” I pick up a pouch of cinnamon sticks and give them a smell. 

“I don’t-“ Will tries to lie but chickens out when I send him a knowing glare. He sighs, “Gibbs.” 

“Yes, the Irish are a very superstitious folk," I state, setting down the pouch. I look to the old woman. "Two bags of lavender and clover, please. Crush the clover real fine," I instruct. 

She gives me a sharp nod and pulls out his mortar and pestle. Will watches, visibly curious about everything. All of this is the stuff of legend to him, hocus pocus. None of these herbs hold any power in his eyes. Little does he know that lavender helps one fall asleep and cloves in large quantities can be poisonous. In small doses can better blood flow and keep someone warm when in a tea. 

The woman hands me my purchases and I hand over some coins. 

Will and I continue through the market. Along the way, I teach him a few things about crystals, herbs, and minerals. He listens, not fully convinced, but there's still time. 

"If you have dry skin from the salty air, coconut oil is your new best mate," I inform him. 

"What about sunburns?" 

"Aloe vera," I state, looking about the booths. "Cut open those tall leaves and smear that jelly-like substance on the red spots." 

"Fascinating," he comments, making me smile. 

Jack pops up next to me. "What's fascinating?" 

"Did you know aloe heals sunburns?" Will questions. 

Jack smiles down at the ground and snickers slightly. I've told him a million times. "I may have heard that once." Jack looks to me, still wearing that grin. 

You narrow my gaze at him. "Peace Lily when ingested can be poisonous. Shall I go purchase a bouquet?" 

Jack swallows hard and I turn on my heels to walk away. I don't need these two escorting me anywhere. One asks a million questions and the other is a kiss ass. 

Will 

"What did you do to her?" I ask Jack as we both watch Y/N walk off. 

Jack huffs, tossing his head back in frustration. "Why does everyone always assume I did something? Maybe she did something to me!" 

I give him a knowing stare until he finally breaks. 

"Okay fine! Maybe I was out one night, got arrested, Y/N didn't know, and was stuck in Tortuga. How she got to Martinique, could not tell you."

"How long ago was this?" 

His brows scrunch together as he taps his fingers against his chin. "How many years ago did I meet you?" 

"A year ago..." Does he honestly not remember? 

"Really? That short. Wow." He appears surprised. "Well, we met when Y/N was about eighteen. I was twenty. Then we were together for five-ish years, so four years ago." 

"And you were engaged?" 

"Wait, who told you that?" He answers his own question. "Gibbs." He begins walking again in the direction Y/N traveled and I follow by his side. "Anyway, yes. Briefly. Doesn't matter now." 

"How is it you got the ring if you were arrested so suddenly?" I rush out, the curiosity getting to me. 

"We had a fight before I was arrested. I was having myself a drink after, that's when the soldiers got me." 

"Is that why things are so tense between you? The fight." 

"No, that's Y/N being Y/N," he concludes. 

"What was the fight about?" I instantly regret asking because of the look Jack expressed. I've never seen him appear so troubled. There's a sense of emptiness behind his eyes as he stares off into the distance. It's clear that a memory is crossing his mind, not a pleasant one. 

"Some things are better left forgotten, William," he whispers. 

I leave it there. Evidently, it was a worse parting than Gibbs had originally put it. A few feet ahead, Y/N stops at a booth, speaking to the vendor. Jack remains a decent distance back, giving her her space, but staying close by just in case. 

___________________________________________

Jack

I wait by the board leading up the deck of the Pearl as my crew loads up the supplies. Y/N approaches with sacks of items from the market. She hands them to Pintel and Ragetti who offer to take them aboard to her chambers for her. 

She meets my gaze and stops to stand beside me, watching the men carry crates up the board. She crosses her arms over her chest and exhales. "I'm surprised." 

"By what?" I question. 

"You didn't tell your shadow every grueling detail about how 'selfish' and 'unrealistic' I am." 

Our eyes meet and she wears an unrecognizable expression. "You heard that?" I question and all she does is look at me blankly. My eyes fall to the dock below my feet. "It was a bad day for both of us," I conclude. 

"I don't compliment you often, Jack, but I will say you are fair... when it counts." 

A faint smile forms on my lips and I lift my head. "Thank you, Love. Means a lot." 

"I meant what I said then too," she reminds me. "Before you left and never came back." 

I shake my head, turning to face her. How many times must we have this conversation? "I wanted to be there. I didn't have a choice!"  

She nods, unfazed by my passionate reaction. "I know. As I know it wasn't your fault you were arrested." Her eyes flicker to mine and they're filled with dark emotion of clear sadness. "But it doesn't make it hurt any less." 

My features fall and I reach out for her. This startles her. She clears her throat, snapping out of her vulnerable state and moves to board the ship. Swiftly, I reach for her and grab her wrist, making her halt. She whips around, her long Y/H/C flowing through the air. She peers down at me, then at my hand around her wrist, then back to my eyes. I step up onto the board, mere inches from her face. 

"I still love you, even if you don't love me anymore," I tell her, meaning every word as she stares into my eyes stunned. "I may love you until I leave this world, My Dear." 

For a moment, she's silent an ounce of hope begins to grow inside me. Then, she shakes her head. "Five years is a long time, Jack. We're entirely different people." She places her hand over mine and pries it off of her before turning to board the boat. 

Just when I think I have her, I lose her again. 

_____________________________________

I watch with curiosity from the staircase as Y/N hands a mug to Pintel. She's been working on this special elixir since we boarded the ship. She took over the kitchen and was boiling this fruity and floral stuff, stank up all the lower decks. 

"Here, this should help," she offers. 

The man looks in the mug and points inside. "There's stuff floating in this." 

She laughs. Oh how I've missed her laugh. How does Pintel get her to laugh and all I get is glaring? He's an idiot! 

"Yes. They're herbs." She places a gentle hand on his shoulder and an unfamiliar feeling arises in my stomach. She tells him, "they're good for you. Think of it as unfiltered tea." 

"Alright then!" The young man grins widely and takes a gulp. "Doesn't taste too bad actually." 

"Make sure to drink a tablespoon a day for about a week." She instructs and hands him a small pouch. "Here. I already took the liberty of making a parcel for you." 

"Thank ya kindly, Miss!" He holds up the pouch and strolls off to show Ragetti. 

"You're starring, Jack." I jump, letting out a yelp. I hadn't even noticed Barbosa beside me. 

"Am not!" I defend. 

Gibbs nods sheepishly, walking down the steps to join us. "The men have been talking. They're thinking perhaps having Miss Y/N on board may be clouding your judgment, distracting you, Captain." 

"A ridiculous observation," I scoff. 

"Miss Y/N," Barbosa calls over to her. 

I spin on my heels in a panic and pretend to have been looking at the horizon the whole time.  

"Barbosa, seeking a remedy or a potion perhaps?" She giggles, already knowing the answer. 

Out of my peripheral vision, I see her at the bottom of the steps and I turn around slowly to act as though I didn't notice. 

"I was wondering how much longer to our destination," Barbosa questions. 

"About 2 days time," she tells us. 

Barbosa hums. "And when we arrive in Bimini, do you know the exact location of the fountain?" 

"No, I don't," Y/N smiles mockingly. "I agreed reluctantly to come on this journey with absolutely no recollection of where I'm taking you. I was just chomping at the bit to be on a dirty ship with dozens of smelly, drunk, men again." 

Barbosa forces a smile, not appreciating the sarcasm, especially from a woman. "Of course, Miss." He turns to head up to the top deck but stops to whisper in my ear. "God knows how you tolerated her for as long as you did." He huffs. 

Y/N climbs the steps, stopping directly in front of me. My eyes grow wide, she's been dodging me the last few days and here she is coming up to me. She wears a mischievous grin and I'm certain she's up to something. Nevertheless, having her so close sets something off in me. 

"What about you Jack?" She glides her fingers down my chest where my shirt exposes my skin. 

I shutter slightly and I see Gibbs dismiss himself quietly to join Barbosa. Traitor for leaving me. "You know me, never been the sort to believe me potions and remedies. I trust fresh air." 

"Pity," she mumbles, allowing her eyes to fall to my lips. 

Following her lead, my focus slips from her eyes to his lips. What is she doing? One minute she can't stand me refuses me, and the next her warm hand rests against the skin of my chest. I've missed her soft and gentle touch more than I realized. 

She giggles, letting her hand fall from me. She steps back and leans against the railing, leaving me utterly confused. Then, I see the compass she gave me years ago resting her in her palms. She was distracting me. "Let's see if the treasure is truly where you say it is." She smirks, flicking open the device. "If it's truly in the northern colonies, the compass should point North. Thankfully, we're not backtracking. New France is a few days journey from the Spanish colonies."

 She lowers her focus to the device. For a moment, I watch her face as she stares down at the arrow. Then, her brows scrunch together and gives the thing a shake. She smacks it with her hand, clearly frustrated. "This thing must be broken! One of the few gifts I’ve ever gotten you! Have you broken it?!" She barks at me, sending me a glare. 

"Y/N, perhaps-" 

She huffs and picks up my hand with a yank. She slams the compass into my hand and watches it for a second. I swallow hard, predicting what's going to happen, but I hope it won't. Please, not in front of her, don't do it. Don't do it. I rock on my heels, my eyes wandering anywhere but her. Sure enough, the compass finds it's direction and stops spinning. It points directly in front of me, right to Y/N. If what I truly wanted more than anything was the Fountain of Youth, it would point North, to my left. 

There's a moment of silence between us Y/N simply stares at the thing, unsure of what to do or say. 

I swallow hard, coming to terms with it. "See," I voice, making her meet my gaze with a soft expression. I snap the thing shut and place it on my belt where it belongs. "Not broken." 

Before I can say anything else, give an explanation. Y/N quietly hurries off. She keeps her head down. Her face hidden behind her long hair as she disappears into my office. I sigh and lean against the rail. Now she knows. I wasn't lying before. It'll always be here, even after all this time. 

________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @subwonwooagenda @starfire56 @doveygirlkay-blog @dansyberry @dansyberry @meany-marcelini @naturallyathief @oliviamae4193 @xxshoutxx @house-chase465636 @the-clint-barton @lxr1582 @m00ny-stars @lonliest-love @meandmymessyminds @jick-n0nas @biracy @kriimu10 @soxpoprocks @peachyplxm @captainluciabianchin @cannibalistic-cicada @a-e-i-owe-you @velvetsnaiil @mindifislytherin666 @bunkyung @livinglifewithoutbeingseen @ghosts-face @mx-pibbles @bigplaidwinnerparty @greentea121598

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Hey!! I love your writing. Can you do a Yandere! Ranboo, Tommy , and tubbo. where they are all in love with the reader and they kidnapped her to ‘keep her safe’ and the reader doesn’t know at first, then she slow realized they are obsessed with her. she like them back but she also want to live her life, so she tries to make agreement? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.

The Ranboo gif is just beautiful and I love it. Lemme see what I can do for ya! I wrote a bullet point Platonic fic if that's fine? I'm still worried about writing the minors in romantic relationships, even if it's the characters.

Sorry, it took so long... My burnout got really bad and I refused to even write basic stuff. But I'm back now! Well. Mostly.

Safe Behind Glass (Yandere!Plat!C!Bench Trio x GN!Reader)

You were a little groggier than normal when you awoke, but it was nothing to alarm you immediately.

Just simply brushing it off as you weren't feeling the best that day, you rolled over to fall back to sleep, but quickly noticed something wrong.

It didn't feel... Right?

The blankets... The mattress... The pillow... They weren't yours...

You peeled your eyes open and your expression went blank with fear.

The room was beautiful mind you.

But it wasn't yours either.

You were laying on a fluffy (f/c) canopy bed, surrounded by quartz walls that were dimly lit soul lanterns that prevented you from being completely swallowed by darkness.

Slowly dragging yourself off the bed, you heard a metal 'clunk' that hit the cold quartz flooring below you.

Turning your head to face downwards, you saw that a decently thick metal chain was cuffed to your ankle.

Somehow, your panic became worse as you immediately grabbed onto it and started to yank on the solid metal, but it refused to budge.

You had no idea how many minutes or hours you spent in that room. Reaching at the iron door desperately, yanking at the chain around your ankle that kept you from reaching the exit, searching the blue lanterns for anything...

But then, the white metallic door slowly swung open, revealing Ranboo, Tubbo and Tommy.

You weren't that close to them, save for a couple interactions here and there, but hey, they came to save you! That didn't matter in the slightest!

You almost cried upon seeing them and moved to walk over, but the chain stopped you from reaching them, and you noticed that they weren't moving to help you.

"You're awake!" Tubbo chirped softly, his tan goat ears wiggling with joy, "I'm glad the potion didn't stick for too long... You could've wound up starving if you stayed asleep."

Horror slowly began to set into your heart as Ranboo nodded and walked over to the dark oak table in the corner of the room and set down a basket of food.

"Ran...Boo...?" You whispered, watching as the monochrome male turned and curiously tilted his head in your direction, "Why... Am I here?"

Instead, Tommy stepped in front of you with a bright cheesy smile, the same one that resembled when he would find a new disc or start a new adventure, "For your safety, (N/n)!"

"Safety?" You choked out softly, Ranboo quickly guiding you to sit in the oak chair, "But... I'm one of the richest people on the server... I have god armour... Nothing could kill m-"

"Techno and Dream can." Tubbo interrupted sharply, halting you mid-sentence.

Right... That masked man... Or whatever he was... He was extremely dangerous, as well as Techno. They could likely pierce your netherite chest plate without even flinching at the number of thorns you had enchanted.

"We don't want anyone to bring you any harm... There's no problem with that, right, (Y/n)?" Ranboo smiled, flashing his sharpened teeth unthreateningly.

No... You wanted to say, but you wanted freedom! You wanted to expand your house to the size of a mansion! You wanted to bicker with Quackity about the stupidest of things! You wanted to get building advice from Phil!

Not be locked away because your safety was a tiny bit compromised!

"Tommy... Tubbo... Ranboo... Please, I'm not going to just stay locked away because I-"

"You'll see things our way soon... Eat up, get your rest." Tubbo smiled and gave you a hug, ignoring how you froze suddenly, before turning and skipping out of the room with the taller two following behind him.

Despite... How screwed up the three were with their methods of making you be their friend, it was working...

They were actually incredibly friendly and funny. It made life in capture bearable! Even though you were incredibly snappy and cruel to them in the beginning, they never held it against you.

Although... Despite their kindness and your quickly blooming friendship, you still had a craving to go outside. Even if what the three told you about everyone forgetting you existed was true.

"You look sad, (N/n)..." Tubbo murmured softly, watching you stare off into the blank quartz wall, "Are you okay?"

Tommy straightened up from his handmade scribble of a map, turning his head towards you in confusion. Ranboo stopped writing mid-word likely and looked in your direction as well.

They never liked it when you were upset.

You pursed your lips silently for a moment, clearly unsettling the males around you, "I just... Haven't been feeling too great... Both mentally and physically I mean... I need sunlight..."

"Yeah... I was reading about that earlier..." Ranboo hummed softly, adjusting his crown as he looked up at the ceiling, "But the issue is..."

"My safety... Yes, I know. What if, I wear my full netherite armour and keep a totem AND a Rapple on me? And also not leave your sides?" You bargained nervously.

That hadn't worked before. But then again, You weren't as close to them before...

The silence that fell upon the room was unsettling and caused your heart to race quickly. If they didn't like what you said, you would be alone for a few straight days... You didn't like it...

"Okay."

What.

That worked?

You just had to ask?!

You watched as Tubbo stood up and pulled the small ender chest from his pocket and set it on the ground, causing it to grow to normal size.

Standing aside, he made a gesture for you to open it and get your stuff.

Hesitantly, You walked over and kneeled down in front of the ender chest. Looking to Tubbo and the others for confirmation, you slowly opened it once they nodded.

Carefully, you began pulling out your armour but paused seeing the lack of golden apples and totems.

Right... Before you had gotten kidnapped by the group, you had used a totem when you fell into the L'Manhole where L'Manberg once was.

That what caused them to kidnap you...

"I-I used... My totem... And Fundy stole my Rapple..." You murmured hesitantly, feeling ready to cry.

Your only chance to escape and you couldn't grab it...

"Hey! Hey! Don't cry! Here!" Ranboo eagerly held the two golden items out towards you at the first sight of tears gathering under your eyes.

"What...?"

"(Y/n)! We want you to be happy! If being outside, even with god armour, rapples and totems, makes you happy, then damn well we're bringing you outside!" Tommy grinned.

After a few tears and lots of hugs, Tubbo helped you hop into your armour while Ranboo unlocked the chain cuff from around your ankle. Tommy had left, leaving the door open for once, going to scout the area for any dangerous mobs.

"Ready?" Ranboo smiled, linking one of his arms with yours, the one that you held the totem in to be more specific. Tubbo happily linked his arm with the other one.

You could only nod, your voice caught in your throat as they began to walk you out the door, Ranboo had to duck down a lot, before leading you to the quartz stairway.

Once up the stairs, Tubbo pressed in a code to the iron door and it slid open quickly, causing you to flinch and pinch your eyes shut at the bright painful light of the sun.

It took about twenty minutes of trying to adjust to the sunlight with the two males encouraging you before you were able to look around.

It was everything you had missed...

The sunlight...

The trees...

God, it was perfect...

Tommy eventually came out of the tree line and sat down beside you as you took it all in...

Months, you were down there. And sure, they gave you plenty of decorations to prevent you from experiencing sensory deprivation, nothing could ever compare to the beauty of the outside world.

A voice cut through the air -calling for someone or something named Fran?- and you almost didn't recognize it. But then the owner came out of the trees, almost a similar direction that Tommy came from earlier.

Sam? He looked so... Different now...

The creeper hybrid slowly lowered his gas mask to show his mouth dropped in shock, "(Y/n)...? You're alive...?"

Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo were freaking out, trying to bring you back into the bunker, as they called it, but you weren't budging. You hadn't seen another being in ages... And while you did platonically love the three boys, you enjoyed hearing a new voice.

"You... Remember me? But... Tubbo you said-" You frowned at the goat hybrid as they stopped suddenly, realizing that you weren't moving.

"You three... Kept them locked away... For almost an entire year?" Sam's voice was getting a little bit scary now, but it wasn't directed at you, instead, at your best friends...

"Sam! It was to protect them! Please!" Ranboo tried, but he wasn't making it better.

"You made Quackity believe they ran away... Made Philza wake up every morning and walk through the SMP for any signs of them... Gave Puffy false information on where you have last seen them... lied to everyone... Only to be the reason that they were gone." Sam growled out, gripping his trident, "Then you proceeded to make them think we all forgot about them..."

"S-Sam... You've got this all wrong big man..." Tubbo tried next...

The warden wasn't listening as he pointed his trident at them, his communicator in his other hand next to his mouth, then he started speaking, causing his voice to come out of Ranboo's, Tubbo's and Tommy's pockets. He was speaking on the public channel.

"Tommy Innit, Tubbo Underscore, Ranboo Beloved... You are being placed in the prison, Pandora's Vault, for keeping (Y/n) (L/n) imprisoned in a bunker and lying about their whereabouts."

It felt like someone splashed you with cold water...

[boldlyvoid]

Of Quartz I Will

Amethyst You So Much✨ Part 2: Of Quartz I Will

Summary: after 2 years of dating, Spencer decides it's finally time to get Y/N something to match her Amethyst bracelet.

Warnings: fluff, gun violence, shooting tw, Reid's season 5 knee injury, hurt/comfort, emotional smut, body massage, hand jobs, riding, penetrative sex.

word count: 6K

Spencer notices her as she walks in, through the briefing room window, she’s wearing his purple shirt. He wanted to wear that for work today but couldn’t find it anywhere, now he knows why.

“Excuse me,” he says to his group of teammates as they contribute reading case files.

“Hey,” Spencer grabs her attention from the railing beside the briefing room. “I’ve been looking for that shirt everywhere.”

“It’s mine now,” she smiles, setting her things down at her desk for the night. “I’ll buy you a new purple dress shirt.”

“Buy yourself one, I like that one,” he whines.

“Finders keepers, doctor Reid. Either stop leaving your shit on my bedroom floor or move in already.”

Everyone hears it. All eyes are on them as they bicker in the middle of the bullpen, including the team of profilers just beyond the window.

“Okay,” he agrees. “We’ll talk about this later.”

She climbs the stairs quickly, giving him a good morning hug even though it was 9pm. “I love you, that’s why I’m wearing your shirt.”

He smiles against her shoulder as he holds her, “I love you, more so in my shirt.”

When he sits back down at his chair at the round table, everyone is waiting with a raised brow. They want details, they want his opinion, they want to hear him stutter and see him blush like he used to. But he doesn’t.

“Yes, I will be moving in with her. We have people to save,” Spencer reminded them. Avoiding eye contact and flipping through the files.

Derek tugs on his amethyst bracelet, he hasn’t taken it off since he got it, almost 2 years ago. “Are you ever going to get her any other jewellery?”

“When she goes home I’ll show you,” he whispers, still avoiding eye contact as they all gasp. “Keep it cool or I will kill you.”

He keeps an eye on her at her desk, smiling when she looks up to see him. She blows him a kiss and waves softly a few times, but other than that, they don’t talk for the rest of the day.

—

The next time She sees him, he’s in her bed sound asleep as she’s coming home from work. She sits on the edge of the bed and brushes his hair away from his face to wake him up gently, he blinks into the morning sunlight to see her.

“Good morning,” he smiles.

She’s in his pink shirt today. She liked to keep something of his close on bad cases that take him out of town. In this case, out of the country. He was in Canada for a few days, the case was horrific and she had to deal with all the office work in Penelope’s absence.

“Amethyst,” she whispers, it was part of their secret code.

Spencer, being a cunning linguist, he loved anagrams.

They had Amethyst for I miss you, Quartz for of course, and Olive for I love you. It was easier to keep the PDA to a minimum at work, not wanting to sit in a seminar like Derek and Penny about sexual misconduct and hostile work environments.

“Olive,” Spencer replies, pulling her down into the bed so she can cuddle in.

“We can’t stay, there’s another case. JJ told me to bring you in on my way home,” she explains softly. “They need you to go to ER Doctor Barton’s house, in McLean, he got a note saying someone was going to kill his son. So far they’ve also connected him to a few surrogate kills of Hispanic men, they need the speed reader to go through all his recent surgeries.”

He sighs, holding her tightly and snuggling in against her back, “no.”

She laughs, “Spencer, you can read really fast and the faster you read the faster you can come home to me.”

“Fine,” she has perfect logic, he always tells her that. “Are you driving me to the guy's house?”

“Yep, so we can stop for coffee and talk in the car, I really did miss you a lot,” she struggles out of his grasp to turn and face him, opting to hold his face in her hands as she looks at him. He’s exhausted, just like her.

“I missed you too, I’m sorry I was gone so long,” his voice is barely a whisper, “We should take a day off together soon.”

“Yeah,” she smiles wider, completely in love with him. “I’d really like that, maybe we can look at apartments?”

“Apartments?” He repeats the word with a grin, raising his eyebrow softly. “I thought you liked it here?”

“It’s too small, I want to get a cat, if you’re bringing your closet here we’re going to need a bigger one,” she ranted. “And actually, I was thinking if you’re on the same page as me and this is a long-term thing for you too, what if we just got a bigger place and got a mortgage and start a little life outside the FBI, together?”

He’s so in love with her, “get my bag?” Is all he can say.

“What?” She’s so confused, shaking her head softly as she comprehends it.

“On the floor there, grab my bag, please there’s something for you in there,” he points behind her, trapped under her and the blanker so it’s not like he could get it himself.

She gets up, placing the bag on the bed for him as she watches him dig through it for a little box. “Arminius helped me pick this out.”

He had become best friends with the owner of the rock shop, she wasn’t surprised to hear that he had gotten something else from there for him. It made her giggle with excitement, bouncing softly as Spencer sat up and moved his bag out of the way.

But then he got out of bed, he’s in a pair of purple boxers and his hair is a mess and he’s so nervous and she has no idea why until he gets down on one knee.

“I was waiting to do this.”

“Holy shit.”

He nods with a shaky laugh, “yeah, I’m in it long term if you are?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to drive you to work now?” She laughs, unable to stop smiling as the two of them stare hopelessly at each other. She hasn’t even looked at the ring yet, too occupied with the wonderfully happy look on his face.

“Quartz,” is all she can say, flabbergasted as she keeps laughing with a shocked smile.

He takes it from the box and she watches as he slides the most beautiful purple Amethyst ring over her ring finger and then her hands are back on his cheeks. Pulling him into a kiss, she can’t seem to hold him close enough as she breathes in. Holding her breath as she keeps him there.

He pulls away with a laugh, “when are we supposed to be there?”

“Now.”

“Damn,” they’re all giggles.

And it doesn’t stop, she takes off Spencer’s shirt and he puts it on instead, matching it with a vest and a tie while she makes him a coffee and can’t stop smiling as she glances at the ring.

It really only made sense for their engagement to happen in the same place she fell in love with him.

Sure, she liked him a lot when he was getting her rocks and she really wanted to get to know him more after his last note, but it was the bracelet that made her fall in love. He went out of his way to make her smile on what felt like the worst day of her life, and she knew she wanted forever with him from then on out. Now she was going to get it, she was going to be Agent Y/N Reid, and her ring was absolutely perfect.

He catches her taking photos of it in the sunshine when he comes out of the bedroom. She still can’t stop smiling, it’s just so perfect and she’s just so in love with him.

They get muffins from the bakery under her apartment before getting in her car, “where is it?” Spencer asks, playing the role of GPS whenever they drove together.

“120 Kensington Road, McLean Virginia,” she members it clearly.

“Take a right,” Spencer smiles, and she’s off.

She drives with one hand, looking at her ring almost more than the road as Spencer held her other one. She pulled up to the Doctor’s house and he didn’t want to leave. Sighing, he looked at her with puppy dog eyes.

“I will see you when you get home, I’m going to call out after this case is done and you get mandatory 24 hours off for back-to-back cases,” she said, knowing protocol almost better than him. “Go to work.”

“Fine,” he frowns again, getting out of the car and walking around to her door. She rolls the window down and tilts her chin up, leaning out for the kiss he’s waiting to give her.

“Let me know when you’re done, I can come and pick you back up,” she whispers against his lips between kisses.

One last smooch and he pulls away, backing up so he isn’t tempted to stay any longer, “olive.”

“Olive,” she replies with a smile, waving slightly before he disappears behind the door.

She releases a long sigh, melting into the chair as she lets the butterflies swarm around a bit in her stomach, it felt wonderful.

She went home, napped from 10 till 2 and then sat in bed to stare at her beautiful ring for a little while. She couldn’t believe he proposed just like that. All she asked was if he wanted to get a mortgage on a house and she guesses he heard "spend the rest of your life with me."

Sometimes, when Spencer was on a case in Virginia and too busy to keep her updated, she would turn on the police radio and listen to what was going on around in the area. It was good to keep her mind preoccupied and to remind herself that he was safe.

At least that’s what it used to do.

“Shots fired at 120 Kensington Road, McLean Virginia, 10-999, 11-41, all units in the area are requested.”

“10-999, officer down, 11-41, send ambulances,” she whispers to herself, remembering all the dispatch lingo from the office.

She doesn’t have time to panic, she unlocks her safe and grabs her gun, loading it and then she’s out the door, in her car and pulling up behind the sheriff's car as she’s running out.

She tosses her badge up to show the cops as she tries to run onto the scene, “I’m an FBI agent on his team, let me through!”

She slides her knees along the grass, surely ruining her jeans as she dives for him. She places a hand on his bloody knee and looks everywhere else, “are you okay? Are you good? Holy shit, Spence?”

Her breathing is so heavy, she clutches her chest with her left hand and tries to calm down as he looks up at her and they breathe in and out a few times without breaking eye contact. He’s completely fine, there’s just a bullet in his knee, he assures her.

“I’m fine,” he laughs lightly, wincing at the pain as he leans forward to kiss her gently.

She’s there only 2 minutes before Derek, JJ and Rossi are pulling up on the scene. Everyone huddled around them on the grass as the EMTs bandaged his knee up before taking him to the ambulance.

“You need to call Emily,” Spencer speaks over everyone, “something happened to Hotch, I’m fine here with Y/N, just go see him.”

He was always going to be fine with her, that was for sure. She never left his side, except when they took him in for surgery and forced her back into the waiting room. But as soon as he was okay again, his hand was in hers.

—

He was given a month off after his knee surgery, but he still ended up in the office most nights. Becoming more of a night owl than usual as he accompanied his fiancé to her desk and sat beside her as she did her work. It was really nice to spend time with her and not have to do anything.

Of course, he filled his time by going over other case files, things they weren’t able to get to as a team and things that didn’t fit the criteria of the BAU. He made phone calls and sent emails, helping small-town cops make simple connections and doing more good that way.

He sat at her desk, his leg resting over her lap as she made a few phone calls. Handing the background of the cases, filing off invoices and approvals. Dispatching units and requesting files and overrides from other departments. She was amazing.

She hangs up the phone, finally, after 45 minutes of rolling her eyes and sighing as she was transferred from office to office all around America. She places her hand on his leg and absentmindedly runs her hand along his shin, staring off at the desk, silently.

“Are you okay?”

She nods, “do you think you’re healed enough to start looking at places?”

He nods back, “actually, I already found one. Hold on,” he slides his leg off her lap and stands with his crutches, hobbling over to his desk where he looks through his files for a new folder.

When he comes back to her, he places the folder in her hands, “forever homes,” is listed on the tag and he sees her heart melt in her eyes. She opens the folder as he sits down, there are about 15 pages of house and apartment listings printed off.

“When did you do all this?” She whispered, shocked and not wanting to cry at work.

“Before I got shot, I was on the phone with Penelope and I asked her to help me find some, she printed off like 50 and I selected the good ones, but there’s more if you don’t like an-“

“Babe,” she cut the rant short, “I’m sure I’ll love any of them, as long as they come with you.”

He pulls a specific sheet from the pile, “this one is my favourite.”

She can see why, it’s a large, green exterior, Victorian home. There’s a turret and a porch, large windows with a bench seat in the kitchen. A garage, 4 bedrooms, a finished basement, a study and a pretty nice backyard.

“It’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but Derek said he’s willing to help teach me how to fix some stuff,” Spencer pressed his lips together awkwardly. He really wanted this on.

“Let’s get a Realtor and set up a walk-through,” she agreed, “and we should bring Derek because he’ll know more than most inspectors anyway. I don’t want to get a place with a cracked foundation or a faulty water heater.”

He smiled again, “remember last week when I had that extra appointment?”

She tilted her head, “no, there is no way you’ve already been there to check it out without me.”

“And I put an offer in, but I was waiting for your approval,” he adds, nervous for her to hate it.

“With what money? I thought we were doing this together?” He’s not sure why she’s upset, normally she loves his surprises.

“When I sold my moms house, I invested the money and it’s been gaining interest for years now,” his voice is soft, “I got through college with scholarships and if I was ever down on money I just had to go to one casino and I always leave with two grand, minimum, I promise, I’m really in this for the long run. I know what I'm doing.”

She smiles, picking up the listing and calling the agency. “Hi this is Y/N Y/L/N calling, my fiancé, Doctor Spencer Reid, recently put an offer in on the listing for 247 Chestnut Drive, I’d love to come and see it soon and take some measurements and things. If you could call me back…”

Spencer is so in love with her it hurts. He wants to scream right then and there, like a kettle on a hot stove for too long, he’s bursting at the seams. She hangs up the phone with the best smile he’s ever seen, “I’m going home early, cause I’m sick, care to join me?”

She stands then, putting her hand out for him so he could stand with her help. “Quartz,” he replies, taking her hand and stands, she gathers their things and she clocks out. No one really cared about all her sick days, she did her job well and they wanted the good doctor to be taken care of.

When he finally gets to show her the inside of the house, she is so in love with it. The hardwood is all original, same with the railings, shelves, banisters and countertops. They're all rustic and beautiful, she can’t help but run her finger over everything as she looks around with an open mouth. X

The kitchen cabinets are green, there is a beautiful colourful wallpaper as a backsplash… and it’s completely empty. It was a remodel, some house flippers did it up and didn’t want to stay. It was made more modern, updated appliances and every safety protocol met. It was perfect.

She turned to him with a smile after only 5 minutes of looking, “this is it.”

“Good,” the women showing them around said, “because your offer was approved, with your say so I can get everything started with escrow.”

“Holy shit!” Y/N cheered, jumping a bit and showing off while Spencer just leaned on his crutch. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek a few times.

“You can start that paperwork,” Spencer smiled, holding her back with his face in the crook of her neck.

—

The hardest part of moving is transporting all of Spencer’s books from one home to another. It's at least 30 boxes of books and Derek will be faxing his chiropractor bill to Spencer within the week.

His office here was huge, floor-to-ceiling oak shelves and green walls, full of all his books and belongings now. It was his own space in the house he shared with his future wife.

It felt crazy to him.

She used to just be the cute girl in the office, he can remember the exact moment he laid eyes on her. She was walking around aimlessly with some files in her hands when he turned around at his desk. She looked lost, overwhelmed and like she was about to have a breakdown.

She looked at him with the same fear he felt on his first day, he took the file from her and knew exactly where it was meant to go. She followed behind him, quiet as a mouse as he placed it in a folder by the wall under a sign that said "Anderson."

He turned with a press-lipped smile and a nod and then they went their separate ways. Silent conversations became their thing, the only time he really heard her voice was when she called him in in the middle of the night or when he heard her on the phone.

Other than that; she smiled when they passed each other, she’d tap her watch when he needed to be doing something Hotch asked for and was preoccupied with something else, she even knew exactly what he was looking for by just observing his chaos. Always able to pull a sheet of paper from the bottom of the stack with ease, and always silently, until that one day she said sorry to him after slamming the phone.

Now he knows that she talks in her sleep, she likes to go over her plans out loud in the shower every morning, and she sings all day long. Be it little tunes, hums, random tongue clicks or whistling, she’s always making noise. His favourite, however, was when sometimes she’d remember something she was trying to remember during a conversation they had, 4 days prior, and she’d scream it out like he knows what she’s thinking every second of every day.

He was in love with her voice, he never wanted to stop hearing it.

He was in love with her face, he never wanted to stop seeing it.

He was in love with her body, he never wanted to stop touching it.

He was in love with her mind, he never wanted to stop exploring it.

All those thoughts rushing to his brain and rushing a new form of butterflies for him. Like anxiety, but happier. Like he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with her. It was anticipation rather than fear.

She really was it for him, and as he unboxed his life into the house they were about to share for the upcoming future, it all became very real. This was how the rest of his forever was going to look with her. All their memories from here on out were going to take place in this house, in these rooms.

When he picked this house, it was just a fun idea, and now he looks at the hardwood floors and thinks about how wet baby feet are going to sound during bath time. He wonders how many times the creaky steps are going to let him know she’s coming up to bed, he wonders what screaming matches and fights and love-making will happen beyond the bedroom door across from his study.

He wonders if she’s going to love him as long as he wants to love her.

He opens his study door then, “Hey, babe?”

“Yeah?” She calls up from the bottom of the stairs.

“Can you come up here?”

She marches up the stairs, still not used to the creaky staircase or the length of stairs she had to climb, soon enough, she’s on the second floor and walking into his study, “what’s up?”

He doesn’t know how to ask, he doesn’t even really know what he wants actually. He just missed her, and she was only just downstairs.

“Can I have a hug?”

It comes out more pathetic than he predicted, cringing at the embarrassment as he shrunk into the couch.

“Quartz,” her voice is soft as she approaches him.

Sitting on the brown leather couch that was once in his apartment, she wraps her arms around him and he holds her back softly.

Resting his head on her shoulder, he just wants to hold her for a while. Eventually, they end up laying down with her on his chest, still holding each other as silent as they were in the beginning.

“I love you,” Spencer whispers against her hair.

She snuggles in more, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder softly, “I love you, too, are you okay?”

He nods softly, “I was just thinking about everything and I wanted to hold you.”

She swoons, “do you remember the first night we cuddled like this?”

He nods again, brushing his chin against her head each time, “it all feels like history repeating like it’s supposed to be this way for us.”

“I like to think so,” she agreed. “I actually think you’re my twin flame.”

He hums, thinking about it, “I’m not sure I know what that means.”

“So soulmates are kind of like mirror souls, they are exactly everything that the other needs and they fill the missing parts for each other." She explains softly and he can already tell where her rant is going.

"I don’t think that’s us because we are too similar; sometimes we butt heads and don’t see eye-to-eye, and you drive me crazy a lot of the time because we have the same anxiety and daddy issues, but it’s also because you do things I think about doing and then I can’t do them because they're done already and they’re my calm down things so then I have nothing to calm down with, like yesterday-“

“Babe,” he whispers, “I know, we finish each other’s sandwiches, that’s what your niece said when she saw us together.”

It makes her smile and he can feel her cheekbone against his chest, “twin flames are what happens when one soul is ripped in half and sent to two bodies. They’re capable of surviving separately, as long as they have the right kindling, but they burn brighter together.”

“People sometimes think fire is living because it consumes and uses energy, requires oxygen, and moves through the environment,” Spencer says softly, “have you ever seen something catch fire on both ends?”

“Yeah, a few times, why?”

“It’s never about burning the item entirely, both fires are only concerned with connecting to each other for mass destruction. They always burn in the strangest patterns, but they always connect first before devouring the victim.”

She sits up to look at him, “are you saying I devoured you?”

“That would be de-flowered,” he teases, “but no, I’m saying it makes sense. We really have been burning through everything to find each other.”

“I cannot believe you just said I de-flowered you before the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said,” she laughs, “and it was a mutual de-flowering, might I remind you.”

“I will never forget,” he coos, leaning forward and pressing his lips against hers.

She pushes him back against the couch, it’s been forever since they’ve really done anything. With moving, Spencer’s recovery, her working nights and sleeping all day. It hasn’t been rewarding in a long time, it’s just been enjoyable.

“No,” he whispers as she starts to trail kisses down his neck. “I’m not having sex on the couch the first time we do it in the house.”

She laughs against his neck, pushing herself off the couch and extending a hand to him, “did the doctor even say you can yet?”

“I can’t do all the work, but I can give a second opinion?” He couldn’t stop the grin on his face as she hauled him to his feet.

“Let me heal you,” she whispers, and he knows exactly what she means.

She lays him down on their bed, on top of the covers with no clothes on as she gathers her things. She closes the blinds, turns on her amber lamp, and lights her candles. But his favourite thing that she adds is the sound therapy… helping the water in his body vibrate at the right frequency to calm him completely. She’s going all out for this one.

Much like the first time.

She’s naked too, both of them completely unfazed by each other’s naked form by now. She sits between his legs with all her chakra stones in her hands and she sets them down on his stomach before arranging them in order where they’re supposed to help on his body.

The Amethyst is just above his head for his crown chakra, touching his scalp gently. He closes his eyes as she places a Lapis Lazuli on his third eye, in the centre of his forehead. An Aquamarine on his throat. Rose Quartz on his heart, Tiger’s Eye on his solar plexus, Pyrite on his belly button and finally, Fire Agate at his core.

He always felt so totally relaxed like this, even the first time she ever laid him down like this. He was so calm, he knew he was in good hands and seeing her bless the room made him feel even better.

“Only good may enter here,” the words she repeats every full moon when she opens the windows and blessed the whole house. Keeping them safe, happy, healthy and loved.

She kissed the scar on his knee, causing him to open his one eye to see her. She was laying between his legs now, head resting on his hip as she lightly ran her fingers over his knee, ticking the skin where he finally had feeling again. It took forever for the numbness to go away, even longer for the pain. But she was so patient with him the whole time, taking the best care of him.

She doesn’t mind that he’s hard, she’s very close to his dick as it rests on his stomach beside the crystal.

She kisses his hip, inching each kiss over until she’s pressing one right to the shaft of his dick and he takes a deep breath. Knowing she’ll stop if he forgets how to do the breathing exercises she showed him. He wasn’t allowed to tense his body, this was about pleasure and there was no rush.

For either of them.

He’s done this for her a few times over the years too, just as slow and sensual as she was being. It was calming, rewarding, they bonded with each other and really felt like one being this way.

He heard a cap open, but he was so used to it by now that it filled him with contentment rather than excitement. He remembers the first time she said she wanted to do this, getting some skin-safe, homemade, vegan massage lube and almost turning inside out with how awkward she was asking to do this for their first time.

She sat on her knees between his legs with a small bounce as she got excited about her favourite part. She sat with the bottle resting between her thighs, warming up while she ran some of it over her hands. She massaged his thighs first, getting all the knots and making sure there was no “Charlie's on any horses”, the first time she said that he almost cried laughing and ruined the mood for a little.

She took the rocks off him then, sitting more on his hips as she drizzled the warm oil on his chest. He let his hands rest on her knees, wanting to feel her skin while she felt his. Her hands felt like magic, running over his chest, arms and shoulders like this was her job. She knew every crook, every cranny, every pressure point and soft tissue on him. His body was just as much her’s now.

It's when she presses her body flat against his that he knows the mood is changing. Her breasts are flat against his chest, her hands are behind his head as she looks down at him, her groin pressed right against him as he aches for contact, grinding up into her slowly as she stares into his eyes.

“Better?” She whispered with a small smile, already feeling how much calmer he was, she just wanted confirmation.

“Much,” he’s just as quiet in his reply. “If I don’t bend that knee, it’ll be fine.”

“I don’t mind doing all the work, baby,” she kisses him quickly, “I know you like it more like this anyway.”

She slithers down his body then, his body slick with oil as she easily glides down and creating the most wonderful amount of friction with him. He groans, tossing his head back against the Amethyst on his scalp.

She sits on his good thigh, avoiding pressure with his bad knee like he was an old man now. She makes contact with the only part she didn’t message, adding more of the massage lube to her hand before lazily jerking him off. He keeps a hand on her thigh, groping and managing her right back as she kept a perfect rhythm.

She occasionally grinds against his thigh, mostly when he moans and groans. Extremely turned on by him having a good time, proud of herself for relaxing him, always complaining that he was too tense, she really knew how to release the pressure.

Just as she gets into it, the calming sounds of rain and high-pitched frequencies come to an end… Rhiannon starts playing and he literally watches her come alive; changing her rhythm to match the beat as she starts to grind against him more, she only added his song to the queue, somehow an hour had passed and her music was resuming.

And when Spencer said she was eclectic, he meant she could go from listening to a rare Canadian band called the Tragically Hip, to Kanye West, Taylor Swift, Evanescence and back to Fleetwood Mac. He had no idea where the mood was about to go.

He moved his hand up her thigh as he tried to power through the pleasure, her hand was so amazing he was bubbling away under his skin. He manages to get his middle finger between his leg and her, massaging her clit as she bucked her hips down on him.

Mutual pleasure in any sense was enough for them, seeing the other being perfectly content after everything they went through; it was euphoric. She leans up then and kisses him desperately, unable to stop stroking him as she sucked his tongue into her mouth.

She smiles against his mouth as the song changes again, it’s the song from the ending of Dirty Dancing, he knows how much she loves that movie. Her kisses get softer, she’s so gentle as she strokes him just a few more times before throwing a leg over his hips and lowering herself onto him in one go. Bottoming out faster than before, both of them making the same moan as they curled forward for each other, mouths clashing as they held onto each other.

Grinding together, Spencer kept a hand on her to help her ride as she was preoccupied with her hands in his hair and kissing his neck as they moved in tandem. It was so good, he was incredibly close but he wanted to hold off as long as possible to feel her finish first.

His ultimate pleasure was knowing she was pleasured, he massaged her clit once more between their bodies and she shuttered, “right there,” her words are small as she kisses under his ear, tugging his hair softly as he moans so she can lick at his neck as she moves her hips up and down, gloriously.

He can’t keep his eyes open, everything is too much and he’s so relaxed; it’s like his body is floating on a cloud as she rides him like they’re actually in heaven. He was really having the time of his life and it made him smile at the end of the whimper he released as she tightened around him suddenly and on purpose.

She moves faster, and so does his wrist as he helps her over the edge first. She’s panting in his ear as she rides him with purpose. She cums with a gasp and then he’s gone, her whole body stuttering as she let out the most relaxed and uncontrollable moan he’s ever heard from her.

His grip on her ass tightens as he holds her hips down, he cums with a gasp and it’s so powerful he passes out.

—

He’s so cute when he sleeps.

She’s got him all cleaned up, everything put away and where it’s supposed to be in their new room. She just lays beside him as she watches him nap, blissed out and relaxed, she doesn’t even care that it’s such a typical guy thing to fall asleep right after.

That was kind of her mission.

He’s been so stressed, he wasn’t going to tell her because he didn’t want his stress to become her stress like it so often did. Feeding off each other like a fire, he really knew how to give a phrase to a feeling. But he was stressed because he was in pain from his knee and no matter how much he lied and said he was fine, she knew he wanted to relieve the pain but he was afraid of even taking a Tylenol.

This is the most relaxed he’s been in months.

She ordered a pizza while he was asleep, it arrived before he woke up too. She sets the pizza box, 2 bottles of pop and a roll of napkins at the end of the bed, gently, before getting back into her spot.

She brushed his hair from his face and kissed the tip of his nose gently, seeing him scrunch his face and swallow before blinking awake. She smiled at him, “Hi, sleepyhead.”

“Hello, beautiful.”

“I ordered pizza,” she whispers.

“Olive,” he replies.

“Well yeah,” it makes her giggle but she has to say it, “I got our regular green olives, mushrooms and extra cheese.”

He laughs too, extra happy after both the sex and his nap. “I love you,” he says the full thing this time.

She presses another kiss to his lips before hauling him into a sitting position, “I love you, too.”

It’s the best night of her life so far.

the house

Taglist: @dreatine for inspiring a part 2 <3

@shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

[frombeyondtheblackhole]

Hermit DSMP Swap AU: Part 8

X helped Grian sit back down and handed Grian a clean rag from his inventory. Grian pressed it against his nose to curb the bleeding as X checked his eyes. X asked Grian several basic questions before asking him to count backwards from 100 by sevens and listened as his friend struggled. 

“100… 97 no 93… 87... um... um, ow-” He faltered, staring into space for a long moment. 

“You’ve got a concussion.” X shook his head.

“Can’t I just take a health pot and get back to work?” Grian asked.

X folded his arms and shook his head “Health pot’s don’t work like that. You know how when you take a health pot the cuts all seal up just leaving some bruising. A concussion is just a bruise on your brain so it would be kind of useless. Regen might help a little because it boosts your body's natural healing process but it has the same problem as health in that it won't target bruising. I would avoid coffee for now and anything else with speed pots in it for that matter,” X added, noticing Grian reaching for his unfinished coffee mug.

Grian pouted “What can I do?” 

“You can go home and rest... though you probably shouldn’t be flying for a while. I’ll walk back with you.”

Grian sighed and let X help him to his feet. To be honest he was starting to like the idea of resting, his head was spinning and he was having trouble focusing. “Alright, you win. Just be sure to let me know if you figure anything out about the whole server problem will you.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know,”

---

The day before, Scar and Grian had given Skeppy and George a tour of Boatem. Scar had offered to let the two of them stay in his landboat (As it had more space than Grian’s house) till they could make their own starter bases. 

Skeppy had been startled when, as soon as it started to get dark, the sun blipped in the sky and it was on the other horizon. George explained to him that the night was skipped here, something to do with a Time King named B-dubs. He apparently could cause night to skip for everyone if he slept. George wished he could do cool things like that when he slept, as it was, all he did was talk to demons or gods or whatever XD was. Skeppy insisted that was way cooler than time powers. George didn’t believe him.

Grian had left to work with X on the server problem and Scar was off gathering some stuff to help get them settled in. This left Skeppy and George alone to snoop around Boatem town on their own. They explored Scar’s base but soon became tired of that and went outside. 

They were nosing around Grian’s base and the nether portal when Skeppy noticed something odd. There were a lot of things here he had never seen before but this felt different somehow. It was about a foot in diameter, dark and smooth and round, shining with a deep purple iridescence, and it seemed to call to Skeppy, like the egg, like the blood vines. It called to him, not quite with words but more with instinct, urging him to touch it. Skeppy reached out-

“What’s that you found?” George called snapping Skeppy out of his trance. 

“I have no clue,” Skeppy shrugged.

George came closer and squinted behind his glasses, bringing his face close to the things surface. The air around it tingled like static. “I never saw one myself but I think it might be a Dragon egg,” George said, reaching his hand out to touch it.

Skeppy shoved George out of the way and grabbed for the egg. He was going to be the first one to touch it. The Dragon Egg. His fingers brushed against the smooth surface then fell through to air. He stumbled and caught himself on the now empty quartz pedestal. 

“What the hell, Skeppy?” George protested. Then his eyes fell on the egg sitting on the grass not far from him. 

They’d both seen it. Skeppy caught his eyes. They held each other's gaze, silently urging the other to stay put. They both lunged for it. 

Skeppy collided with George practically landing on top of him but it was too late George's hand knocked into the egg and it disappeared.

Both of them scrambled to their feet looking for where it went. Skeppy found it over the hill but hesitated before reaching for it this time. 

“No you don’t” George cried coming up behind him. Skeppy jumped at the sound seconds before George tackled him directly into the egg and it was gone again. 

“Ow ow- hold on, get off,” Skeppy protested, pushing his palm against George’s face trying to shove George off himself, “This isn’t working. It’s being all teleporty and shit.”

George backed off, and huffed to himself, as he brushed himself off. 

“What are you two doing?” Scar said as he came over. “Oh look,” He stopped as he noticed the dragon egg at his feet. He placed down a piston next to it and a button and *boop* the egg was pushed right into his arms. He picked up the egg and looked back at the two who were still sitting on the ground, grass stains on their clothes and hair disheveled from their fight. “Looks like you two touched the egg. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Grian,” He said with a wink placing it back on the pedestal. 

Skeppy and George just stared at him. “Wait, how did you do that!” Skeppy shrieked pointing. 

Scar laughed, “The egg can be tricky, it doesn't like being touched but you can trick it into thinking it isn’t being held by using a piston. You can also break the block underneath it and catch it as it falls, just make sure to place a torch first... something about the heat is important.”  

“I’m holding it!” Skeppy announced scrambling to his feet and moving towards the egg. 

“Who says you get the egg, I saw it too,” George argued.

“We’ll I saw it first,” Skeppy retorted, sticking his tongue out, summoning his shovel from his inventory.

George scowled “You didn’t even know what it was till I told you.” He summoned his netherite axe from his inventory, the one XD had given him. 

“Well you didn’t even know that it teleported so-” Skeppy started digging down next to the pedestal.

“Woh woh woh, you both can hold it if you want,” Scar said trying to break up the tension “You can’t keep it though, it’s Grian’s,” He added.

Skeppy and George both turned and glared at him. There was a calculating pause then George’s posture changed, he seemed to relax. “Heh- sorry about that,” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “It’s just neither of us have ever seen a dragon egg, guess we got a bit carried away,” He shrugged. 

George wanted that Dragon egg more than anything. Skeppy probably did too. That was the rarest thing on the server and if someone could get it and bring it back to the Dream SMP then they would be the most powerful person on the server. But there were a lot of hermits. Way more than the two of them. It was probably best that they not make them mad. He could find a way to get the egg without them noticing another time. 

Skeppy looked surprised and a little too satisfied with himself as he continued to dig out under the pedestal. He placed the torch and mined away the pedestal catching the egg as it fell. It was surprisingly warm, he felt it vibrating with power as he held it against his chest, his arms wrapped around it, nestled in the folds of his bright blue hoodie. He grinned, he felt like a proud father, why did he feel like a proud father? He hadn’t even felt this way about Sapnap and he practically helped Bad raise him… multiple times.  

“Don’t look so pleased with yourself, it's not that great,” George scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

“Hey Scar, can you come over here real quick” X called as he and Grian walked back into Boatem town. 

“Yeah, be right over,” Scar called back before turning to Skeppy and George “Just make sure to put it back,” He said before running over to see what X and Grian needed. 

George glared at Skeppy over his glasses, he was still holding his ax. “You're putting it back ok,”

Skeppy turned his body to put himself between George and the egg. “And why should I?” He pouted. 

“Because,” George said calmly and quietly, so the others talking by Grian’s house couldn’t hear, “If you take it now they will know it was us and won’t let us leave.” George watched the gears turn in Skeppies head “So truce for now... we work together to steal the egg later,” 

Skeppy glanced off to the side as he thought about it. Finally he nodded “Alright, agreed,” His fingers were crossed. 

George grinned and pushed his glasses back into place “Great.” His fingers were crossed. 

Skeppy climbed out of the hole and George helped him put the dirt and pedestal back. Skeppy begrudgingly let George hold the egg before putting it back on the Pedestal.

Ok so maybe holding the egg was kind of cool George thought smiling softly before Skeppy made him put it back.

---  

“So what’s up?” Scar asked coming over to join X and Grian. Now that Scar looked at him, Grian wasn’t looking too great. His feathers and hair were rumpled more than usual and he was leaning on X’s arm. “You ok there?” 

“Yeah, Just got a concussion.” Grian shrugged. 

“He flew into a barrier while trying to get into the Dream SMP Server,” X explained.

“Oof,” Scar winced at the description.

“He should be fine after a month or so, he just needs to rest and not do anything too strenuous.” X continued, “Also it is probably a good idea not to let him sleep unsupervised for a couple of days.” 

“Got it,” Scar nodded “I’ll be sure to keep him in line,” 

“C'mon guys, you don’t trust me?” Grian teased.

“I wouldn’t trust you with a ten foot pole,” Scar laughed. 

“Fair,” Grian chuckled, “Well anyway, thanks for walking with me back here X” He said letting go of X’s arm.

“No problem, just take it easy, got it?” X reminded Grian.

“Don’t worry. Besides this means I’ll have plenty of time to help the new guys settle in.” Grian added as he noticed Skeppy and George standing looking at his Dragon egg. 

“Oh no you don’t. You are going inside and resting,” Scar said, taking Grian by the shoulders and guiding him into his house. 

“No, but- I, I’m fine really,” Grian protested

“No buts, You rest, I’ll take care of everything.” Scar insisted and Grian gave up, letting himself be led off to bed. 

[So I know I said I already had a bunch written in advance but when editing this part I realized I needed to add some interactions with Skeppy and George. I really like how this turned out but it is now longer than I originally planned so I am breaking it up into sub parts. The next segment will be out soon]

[citowon]

spring troupe and gender neutral s/o watch horror movies

about time i finally write for this blog... i was hit with the image of masumi watching a horror movie with his s/o, thought how lovely it would be if there was content of that, then realized i have that power now

word count: 1,935

tags: established relationship, non-detailed mentions of horror themes (gore, monsters, etc)

sakuya sakuma

���� when the topic of a horror movie date first comes up, he’s a bit scared. he’s only seen a couple, one of which was for mankai play research.

🌸 when it’s actually showing, though, he’s pretty calm! the anticipation was the worst part, and he somehow doesn’t get scared even during the most terrifying movie of the year. he’s great at reminding himself it’s just fictional in the end

🌸 vampires? not scary. aliens? he thinks they’re cute! gore? well, yeah, it’s unnerving at first but it’s all fake, and once he reminds himself of that he’s fine

🌸 he gets scared at the littlest things though. there might be a continuity error where a knife is in its holder on the counter in one shot and then removed the next, and no one in the movie acknowledges it nor is it supposed to mean anything but he can and will psych himself out thinking about just what moved it

🌸 king of predicting plot twists! he might be very good at spotting continuity errors, but he’s even better at picking out little bits of foreshadowing and putting together the mystery

🌸 gets spooked the most by jumpscares. every time he squeaks a bit (on really bad ones he might scream) and every time he always does the same embarrassed sigh afterwards and goes to squeeze your hand to calm himself

🌸 psychological horror is definitely the best pick for sakuya. he thinks a lot about what’ll happen next in the movie and loves to discuss about movies with you regardless of the genre, so with thought-provoking psychological films it fits him like a glove

🌸 and hey, if things ever get too intense he loves b-list horror movies! he thinks the bad acting is endearing and always finds something to compliment even with the trashiest, corniest flick

🌸 if you ever get uncomfortable, he might commentate in the movie and try to poke fun at it- i mean, the killer clown is kind of funny! look how bright and colorful it is compared to the rest of the set! he keeps his voice light and sunny so you have something comforting to concentrate on

masumi usui

🎧 he loves the idea of horror night. cuddling with you, holding you protectively as the suspense rises, stealing kisses to distract you from the monster and erase your fear...

🎧 he’s only seen a few horror movies in his life, less than the fingers he has on one hand, but whatever. it’s a movie. it’s not real. if he got too immersed he could just tell himself it’s fake and be done with it.

🎧 spoiler alert: he didn’t.

🎧 masumi did not, and i repeat, did NOT expect to get so invested??? even if you’re scared, he’s definitely the most terrified

🎧 that’s not to say he’ll show it. he’s doing everything to keep a neutral face, and you’ll probably assume he’s holding to you tighter during the scary parts like he’s protecting you.

🎧 (it’s actually because you’re the one [1] thing grounding him. you’re protecting him, not the other way around! in hindsight, he likes being cared for even when he thought he’d be the one spoiling you, not the other way around. he just wishes it didn’t have to be during such a scary movie, that’s all)

🎧 will take his fear to the grave... unless you ask him directly about it. please hold him and tell him the monsters aren’t real, even though he’s a heavy sleeper he will stay up until 3 am, his mind reminding him how creepy the movie was every time he’s about to drift off

🎧 so does not fuck with ghosts, if he didn’t believe in them before he certainly does now. the poor guy looks up how to ward away spirits and ends up carrying around a salt packet on him for the next two weeks

tsuzuru minagi

📖 tsuzuru’s not exactly a horror fan. he claims it’s brainless and pointless

📖 (admittedly he’s a little scared of them, but he still thinks they’re dependent on shock alone, and have zero rewatch value since the writing is more focused on in-the-moment spooks than actual plot.)

📖 he’ll roll his eyes and tease you a little but eventually he’ll go along with watching a horror movie

📖 to psych himself out of his fear tsuzuru decides to watch them critically and note what plot points to do (or more likely not to do) for future plays

📖 this works out for the beginning but by the middle of the movie he’s enraptured. he can’t tell if it’s actually good or if it’s a car wreck he can’t help but watch

📖 does the corny move where he yawns and wraps an arm around you, and you’d almost buy it from his earlier cynicism but then the killer shows their face and he tenses up like hell and you just know

📖 gets embarrassed every time he’s scared- he even turns pink, and gets even redder if you try to hold his hand or cuddle him closer (even though there’s nothing he’d want more after something that creepy)

📖 by the end he’s got a few new ideas that might go to autumn or winter troupe’s latest plays, and admits okay, fine, maybe horror isn’t so pointless after all

itaru chigasaki

🎮 screw movies, you’re playing horror games instead!

🎮 most of itaru’s horror games are single-player, so one of you takes the controller while the other sits next to the player, but itaru’ll drape his arms around you from behind in a back hug the entire time you play

🎮 he doesn’t really shut up. the entire time, he’s either cracking a joke or trying to freak you out more, if only so he doesn’t get in his head and overthink the creepy atmosphere

🎮 asshole only quiets down when the game gets tense, and then suddenly puts his hands around your shoulders or neck to scare you. regardless if you fall for it or not, he always laughs at himself and just-so-happens to break the tension as a scary cutscene plays

🎮 still commentates when he’s the player, but gasps or jumps even at small atmospheric scares

🎮 itaru definitely overthinks the game. he gets super cautious over tiny details and makes the missions way harder than they should be since he keeps overestimating the enemy line of sight and how noisy the avatar is

🎮 if you happen to be playing a co-op horror it’s a constant “no u” battle over who should do the scariest tasks

🎮 “reader, we need to cleanse the room next. you should do it” “no, you should do it. you have the quartz item remember” “i can give it to you since you have the ghost ward” “the ghost ward doesn’t apply to this quest, besides, you’re better at this ghost attack quick time event than me” “no it does, and you’re more optimized” “i can just give the items to you-“ “no you should do it” “no you” “no you” “no you” “no y-”

🎮 you both lose

citron

🍋 citron loves horror movies! he thinks they’re... comforting?

🍋 turns out he’s only seen movies about cursed dolls and b-horror, which explains a lot- he loves dolls too much to be scared by them and he thinks b-list horror is hilarious- but he’ll still proudly proclaim he’s unflappable and swear to protect you from the bad guys

🍋 when you’re actually watching the movie you can’t tell if he’s faking his reactions or not. he’s very noisy

🍋 he gets scared enough during the gruesome and horrific scenes to hold you close and tight like a teddy bear, and during the worst of it he might muffle a scream by diving into the crook of your neck, obscuring his vision until the scene changes

🍋 and yet, he laughs at the next scene’s unrealism, and manages to poke enough fun at the movie that you giggle and his terror disappears, he loves your laugh way more than he can be afraid of monsters

🍋 can’t do gore for the life of him, but when it comes to the actual plot, he’s rather critical of characters acting dumb. he catches on to nonsensical writing quick, but usually asks you to clarify the plot holes before realizing that he found a loophole in the writing

🍋 whenever you’re scared and not even his goofy reactions and commentary can help, he plants a sweet kiss on your cheek, strokes your hair, and holds you close to his chest until the fear goes away. he’s surprisingly good at protecting you from the movie

🍋 after the movie he’ll say his country has a similar legend to the movie monsters, but he claims the legends are true in zafra, and zafrans have a very specific tradition to prevent the monsters from attacking them

🍋 the movie also gave citron the idea of creepily standing behind you silently until you turn around and get startled, or occasionally chanting in a strange, cultish language and pretending he didn’t say a thing, or making a doll with the same markings as the clown puppet from the movie...

🍋 citron continues to be even scarier than the actual horror movie, but can’t wait until the next horror night! maybe watching it was a bad idea after all...

chikage utsuki

🌙 chikage just doesn’t get the appeal of horror. it’s just a fake movie, why do people get so creeped out by terrible sfx and unrealistic monsters?

🌙 he’s seen scarier things than any werewolf pack, zombie outbreak, or witch coven can throw at him. if you insist on watching a scary movie, fine, he’ll be happy to let you sit on his lap, just don’t expect to creep him out as well, or else you’ll be sorely disappointed.

🌙 he analyzes the movie more than he watches it, but doesn’t speak up even though the fight scenes look pitiful. if this were real life, he’d sweep the whole brood of shambling monstrosities in record time and be back home in time for izumi’s curry

🌙 chikage runs his hands under your shirt whenever the monster’s on screen to scare you. it’s actually really creepy- his fingers are light and quick and always makes you flinch, even if you know it’s just your boyfriend

🌙 he’ll listen to your thoughts about the movie, but doesn’t have strong opinions himself. he thinks the scares are mediocre at best, even without considering his background, but won’t mention how unrealistic it was unless you mention it first.

🌙 psychological horror, however, is a whole different story

🌙 maybe chikage can’t get scared by generic spirit halloween monsters but once you introduce thought-provoking plot, questions and dilemmas, now he’s hooked

🌙 he really likes wondering if the protagonist is actually the good guy and making theories about the origins of the monsters and why they’re so destructive, even if he forgets about them once the movie’s over.

🌙 love love looooves the “the monsters were harmless creatures before humans dished out the first blow” trope. he knows how common it is, but there’s a lot of ways to go about it, especially on a subtextual level, and he just can’t get enough

🌙 the deeper the plot is, expect a longer conversation about the ins and outs of it. they get surprisingly thoughtful and introspective, even if chikage throws in a few bullshit stories related to the movie just to watch you squirm

[hutt-n-the-hollar]

Friendship reconciliation spell for Pink Moon- “Long” Version from April 2021

TL;DR at the end!!! (I will also add photos of some of my herbs and chips. Though some of the stuff I didn’t take pictures of before hand. I will next time!)

This is a friendship reconciliation spell that I performed beginning April 11th and concluded on April 26th. A few people had asked me about it but it was too long to comment. If this isn’t your thing or if it’s too long for you to read, I get it. Please just keep scrolling! 💗

You can do a shorter version of this spell probably under one new moon or under one full moon all at once but I decided that for me I would need to do it for the full half lunar cycle to show my dedication for my own personal follow through. Again, see the TL;DR at the bottom!

First, I performed an intention setting ritual for this friendship reconciliation spell during the new moon. My intention setting rituals for big things typically involve a cleansing bath or shower. Intention rituals are going to vary depending on person to person but I will detail mine here, because it was asked. Skip over it if you have your own intention work.

Here’s the things I used for the start of the friendship reconciliation spell, you will need more supplies for the second half:

Items used at New Moon:

* ‘New moon’ bath tea bag - combination of herbs and bath salts. I don’t have my exact blend written down at the moment. Need to remember to write this down soon... basically anything calming and fragrant will work and it’s all about *your* calm. I recommend chamomile though! Add herbs and salts into a reusable bath tea bag. You can sometimes find pre-made versions in shops. If you’re interested I will post my New Moon and Full Moon bath mixtures but they tend to vary slightly, depending on intention.

* Parchment - I used three small pieces of parchment, about 1”H x 3”W. Small enough to write the names of the individuals I wanted to reconcile with. (The parchment will need be able to fit inside your glass vials when folded once over and rolled up. As well as leaving space for lots of herbs, gem chips, liquid and expansion. Keep this in mind!)

* Red ink/ pen - to write the names of the intended on the parchment.

* Gemstone chips - small enough to fit inside the glass vials you’ll be using later at the full moon. See exact counts/sizes in the second item list! Small: Rose quartz, tourmalated quartz, fluorite. Tiny: peridot, lapis lazuli, amethyst.

* Red or pink votive candles - I kept this to just one candle as I like to take new moon baths in near total darkness/lights off. I picked red.

* Two chakra palm stones - this ritual my two Jasper Pinolith palm stones called to me as I was getting ready to go to the bath so I used them.

Draw the bath, visualizing the world closing off on the other side of the door/s and window/s. Nothing exists except you, the bath and whatever god/goddess/diety or lack there of that you wish to communicate with. I have a playlist I listen to that is specifically for this type of work and it helps to drown out background noise from friends and family. I make it quite clear: do not disturb me during ritual baths! Shadow work playlists are lovely for this.

Anyways. Run the bath, add your bath tea bag, careful to tie it off so the herbs don’t escape and clog your bathtub. Add additional epsom or pink Himalayan salt directly to water if you’d like. Essential oils are also welcome!

Turn out the lights. Light your candle/s. Meditate (this is where my chakra stones came in) or listen to the music until you feel your connection begin with whomever you are asking to assist you with the spell. (For some this can involve casting a circle.)

I’ll spare the deep personal details here but I spent the remainder of the bath doing the following:

* Write the names of the friend/s you wish to reconcile with, one for each slip of paper in red ink.

* As you write down the name/s, speak about the troubles you have with these individuals. Make sure to focus on hurdles that are within your control. I am always very careful to never try to impact the free will of others in my spells. If they want to be my friend, they will be. I will not force this. This spell is more focused on things like easing forgiveness, opening communication, patience, tolerance, etc.

* After writing down the names I set them within the candlelight and then continue to speak to my god/dess, explaining why I have decided to start this ritual and spell. Asking for his/her/their blessing. (I’ll use her from here on out for mine.) Asking for her guidance in recognizing opportunities where I could reconcile with these friends, asking to also show them opportunities to reconcile with me. And asking that she let it be known to me if there are any out of these three friends I should not reconcile with, or should maybe redirect my efforts on. I do not want to waste my or my goddesses energy on useless paths. This was a pretty emotional part of the entire thing. I explained my past relationships with these friends, the current state, what I think got me to this point with them, where I’d like to see it go and I made promises to her on actions I would take to try to repair. (Call them more. Text them more. Be more mindful of their opinions- political or otherwise)

* During the process of the conversation I would take the bath tea bag and let it fill up with water and the like a sponge gently squeeze it and let the herby water trickle over my arms, legs, chest and face. Inconsider this ritualistic. Chamomile is in my new moon bath tea and it’s sooooo intoxicating using it this way! Note: If you have a shower but no bathtub this is another good way to use bath tea bags!

* Relax and soak in the bath as you relax and bring your intentions forward! Cleanup as needed.

After the bath ritual:

* Fold the parchment pieces in half once, covering the names. Place all three names inside pillow case and sleep with them under pillow until the new moon ritual.

* Make New Moon Water!! I keep two bottles of moon water at all times. New Moon and Full moon. I used this night to make new “new moon water” setting the intention that it would be used later in my final stages of my reconciliation spell and the remainder would be used to water new houseplants and seeds I had germinated.

* I also set my gem chips (see below for more) out under the new moon over night to “cleanse” them (you can cleanse however you’d like)

* I also wrote down in my witchy journal things I could do, outside the spell, to reconcile with these friends.

Fast forward to the new moon! Make sure to hydrate and exercise! 🌝 🏃‍♀️ 🌙 🏃‍♂️

Items used at Full Moon:

* Glass vials with corks, enough for each parchment you’re doing. I did 4, 3 for 3 of my friends and 1 vial for myself. (Self Love bby!)

* Rose Quartz Chips (small- three for each vial)

* Tourmaline in quartz chips (small- one for each vial)

* Fluorite chips (small- one for each vial)

* Amethyst chips (tiny)

* Peridot chips (tiny)

* Lapis lazuli chips (tiny)

* Florida Water

* New Moon Water

* Red votive candles, one for each vial.

* One small red candle and one pink candle

* Herb list: (you DO NOT need all of these. I just happened to have all of these and they all have strong metaphysical properties for healing, friendship and love. Use what you have that speaks to use. I only used a small amount of each.) Red buds, Cherry blossoms, Rose buds and petals, peony, hibiscus, penny royal, pink chrysanthemum, basil, blackberry leaf, lily of the valley, Passion flower, dried balsam fir, violet leaves.

* Pressed violet blooms. DONT add these to the herb mixture, set aside. You can use wild violets or African violets.

Let’s begin! First, Full Moon ritual bath/shower! Similar to the new moon ritual bath, but shorter. My full moon ritual bath this time was actually just a shower cleanse. Washing away all distractions and relaxed/practiced breathing.

After the Full Moon ritual bath set up your workspace, cast your circle, light incense etc... and now..

1. Light your red votive candles, picturing one friends face per candle flame

2. Place all the herbs you want to use (except pressed violets) in a bowl or mortar- grind but don’t make it too fine, just enough to crush up any big pieces that won’t fit inside the mouth of your vials.

3. Stir until well blended. I have a special crystal spoon for this!

4. Separate the three pieces of parchment, set in front of their own candle. Speak their names individually, out loud.

5. Add the following to each one of the glass vials:

* Parchment with name written on, rolled up

* Three rose quartz chips each

* One tourmaline quartz chip each

* One Fluorite chip each

* A pinch of peridot, lapis lazuli and amethyst tiny chips each

6. Mix the vial gently, making sure the gemstones settle at the bottom. Don’t shake too hard! We don’t want the glass to crack or break the chips.

7. Stir up the herb mixture and spoon carefully into each of the vials until it’s about 3/4 of the way full. You may have to cap off and shake a bit. Try your best not to intentionally grab any certain herbs. I’m of the opinion that each individual vial will get the blend they need for THAT friend. It doesn’t have to be even. Heart guided is best!

8. Now. This is the delicate, but not necessary to your vials, part. I added three pressed violets to the outer edge of the glass on one side so they were flat against it and would be nice vibrant showpiece to each vial. Use tweezers and gently slip the pressed flower down along the inside of the glass until you get it where you want it. This part was symbolic for me- a delicate personal detail for each vial. Just like every friend needs their own personal delicate touches to maintain the friendship.

9. Add Florida Water to each vial. I used three droppers full. I know dropper is relative, use your best judgement. Do not fill the vial!

10. Add new moon water. I used six droppers full. Again. Dropper is relative. Use best judgment making sure the at the liquid does NOT reach the brim. You still wanna stay close to only 3/4 of the way full. Dried herbs and flowers are now going to get wet and will expand! Make sure they have room to expand without popping the cork!

11. Cork the vials. Mark the top of the cork with the friends initials. I just used first initial and wrote in sharpie. But you can use both initials if they have the name first initial. Seal the edges of the cork with red or pink candle wax. (I used both. Red first then pink.)

After the bottles are sealed I made sure to wipe them off before setting them on a selenite slab base (selenite is VERY sensitive to liquid!) with a rose quartz generator in the middle of them. I set this display up under the full moon along with a new bottle of water to make Full Moon Water and some antler runes I made. After the full moon the entire spell display moved to my bedside table for the next three nights.

After these three nights the vials will get a permanent home on or near my altar where I will see them every day for consideration and a reminder of my own responsibilities in making the reconciliation work.

I hope you enjoyed my long drawn out ritual. Fingers crossed it works!! 🤞🏻If you made it this far- DRINK SOME WATER! 🤣💧

TL;DR: write the name of those you want to reconcile with in red ink on parchment. Add rolled up parchment to vial. Add gemestone chip base, add herbs that benefit friendship and healing, Florida water, new moon water. Seal with red or pink wax. Bathe that shit under the new moon one night, set on your bedside table for the following three nights, rehome on your altar or somewhere you will see it every day after that. Love hard. Drink some water. 🙂 💧

[rainbowtransform]

For What It’s Worth

The thing is: Robin’s not an idiot. There’s something weird around his dad that rubs off onto his papa and him.

Robin found his dad wandering around the forest, looking so confused. “What’s your name?” Robin had asked and his dad had shrugged shakily. “You don’t remember?” Robin asked and his dad shook his head.

And Robin had hummed and taken him to meet his papa. Papa had reached slowly out for Robin’s hand and he dragged the stranger closer in order to grab onto his hand.

“Who did you bring now?” Papa asked, chuckling.

“We don’t know his name!” Robin said.

“Hmm.” Papa said. “Well, what do you want to be called?”

“I don’t know.” His dad had said. “I can’t... I can’t remember.”

“That’s okay,” Papa told him. “We’ll work it out. Do you want to come in?”

And then he chose the name Cornelius. And he become Robin’s dad, and he manages to become part of their family. And then he died, and Papa dies, and Robin dies.

And then Robin wakes up.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Robin breaths. He holds up his hands, shakily and coughs. He gets up in the middle of the flower field and he looks over to a bunch of buildings to his left. He makes his way over to the buildings and stumbles into the house right in the middle of a lake.

There’s a woman with changing rainbow hair and short horns on her head discussing something with someone in a cape and a crown on his head. Robin watches them, and then sees the woman turn to face him.

“Hello?” She asked him. “Who are you?” The person she was talking to also turns his head, and looks at him. 

“Do you not remember?” The guy asks. “It’s okay if you don’t.”

Robin shakes his head. “I know,” he says. “I know who I am.”

The rainbow haired looks around. “Who are you?” She asks.

“I’m Robin.” He states. “Son of Cornelius and Catt, from the village deep in the Forest.”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

“There’s no village in the forest,” Puffy whispers to Eret. They’re watching the boy closely as he drinks the water that they gave to him and coloring on a piece of paper.

“He’s lying then.” Eret says. “Or he really doesn’t remember.”

Puffy hums. She turns away to pour herself some coffee, and Eret holds out their cup for another one as well. He turns his head to face her.

“It just doesn’t feel right. And whose Cornelius? And Catt? I thought this world was closed to everyone except the people Dream let in.”

“That’s why he might be from a different world.” Puffy says. “But he was forced to come here, you know?”

“How?” Eret asks. “Dream’s in prison, and we haven’t seen Callahan in months.”

Puffy shrugs and they both turn to look at the kid, whose glass is finished and set very nicely on the table with a little scrawled thank you :) in the corner of the paper, and the kid’s gone.

“How?” Eret chokes. “We were listening to him the entire time, we looked away for like, a minute.”

Puffy sighs, “That’s what Dream would do when he was younger.” She said and rubs her eyes, “We just have to find him.”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Robin walks along the two different parts of the path in front of him. He makes a game out of him jumping from one part to another, climbing mountains in order to keep the game going. He sees red vines everywhere and watches as some of them shrivel up as he walked by.

It seems scared of him, which is good Robin guesses. But he kept going, passing by two teenagers who both look at him with confusion. “What the fuck.” The one with blond hair says.

The brown one pulls up his communicator (Robin doesn’t think he has one but he’s not going to check) and swiped through. “Are you Robin?” The brown haired one calls and Robin glances at him.

“Maybe.” He says. “Why?” (When you’re with a stranger, Dad says. You’ve got to be careful with what you say. They can use things against you.)

“I’m Tommy and that’s Tubbo,” Tommy says. “You Robin?”

“Nope,” Robin says easily, the lie rolling of his tongue. “I’m Walter.”

“Walter? Two new people?” Tommy turns to look at Tubbo who shrugs.

“We should take you back anyway.” Tommy says, and when he turns back, Walter’s gone.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Robin comes across a big crater towards one of the pathways end. It’s covered in glass with red vines creeping around inside and Robin hums. “Don’t like those,” he whispered to himself.

The Red-Eyed villagers always talked about these didn’t they? Something whispers, inside Robin’s head. Your father died to Red-Eyes.

But the vines didn’t have anything to do with the Red-Eyes. Right?

Robin keeps moving. He wanders back toward the pathway and continues forward. He doesn’t meet anymore people (they’re probably all by Puffy and Eret).

Robin wanders down the path again, and finds a house made entirely of quartz. Quartz is already a hard material, found only in the Nether and Dad’s the only one who goes there.

“It’s too dangerous for you,” Dad told him, pressing a kiss to Robin’s forehead and then ruffling his hair. “Once you’re older we’ll go together, yeah? Me, you, and Catt. Two cats and a Birdie,”

Papa had laughed. “Keep me out of that, Cornelius,” he said. “I’ll be old and frail.”

“Still beautiful,” Dad had said. And Papa had turned away, a blush on his cheeks.

Robin guesses they’ve got their own person or people who go to the Nether. Robin sees the pictures that’s littered around the house and he goes through one of the many doors.

It looks like there hasn’t been anyone living here in a long time.

(Be careful, Birdie, Papa says. You never know what might be around the corner. Even if it’s nothing besides a harmless animal.)

Robin creeps, keeping the lessons that Dad taught him close to heart. (Footsteps light, Robin. Watch your surroundings. Don’t let anything catch you unaware.)

There’s some pictures of a Diamond-blue man and a demon. There’s also some baby pictures around of a black-haired kid who is playing in fire and giggling all the while.

There’s some pictures of them demon and the kiss again, the kid’s growing. Then it’s the kid and a kid whose not looking at the camera, but they’re both grinning. Then they’re teenagers (this time with a man with goggles) and Robin does a double take. The teenager looks so much like Dad, but it’s got to be coincidental. Right?

(The world, Papa tells him, is full of coincidences. Did the world mean it, is the real question.)

The last pictures are torn out of their frames, littered around the floor and Robin picks one up shakily.

There’s his dad.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Robin ends up holding onto the torn picture, staring up at the Prison before him. And that’s what it must be, because they told him that Dream’s in prison, and If Dad is Dream, then he’s here.

Robin steps into the entrance, stares at the Nether Portal and then presses the button.

“Hello?” Crackles the intercom.

“I’m here to visit my dad.” Robin says, straightening his back.

The intercom is silent for a moment before: “Step into the portal.”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

“The prisoner doesn’t have a son.” Is the first words the Warden says. Purple Netherite armor shining.

“He does.” Robin says, smoothly. He’d been taught by Dad how to lie, how to keep calm and be confident in his skin. Dad taught Robin how to survive, but Papa taught him how to laugh and have fun and how to live. They both are truly a perfect pair.

“The prisoner doesn’t have a son.” The Warden says, and Robin in all his ten-year-old glory laughs and wheezes.

“I’m his son.” Robin says again. “And I want to visit my dad.”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

The Warden lets him in after an hour of back-and-forth. Robin drinks potions that give him fire resistance and is killed by the Warden.

(Death doesn’t stick but Robin’s eyes full with tears anyway)

The Lava falls, and Robin gets to see his Dad, sitting on the edge of the something else in his room. He almost calls out, but thinks better of it while the Water waits.

“Keep with the floor,” the Warden says. Robin walks with the floor, just until he gets to the cell’s opening and looks at the Netherite blocks that the Warden put in place to keep him away from his Dad.

The blocks lower, the lava falls, and Robin steps closer. This place is tight, small. Dad hates small places.

“Dad?” He asks. Slowly, softly.

“You’re not real,” Dad says. “You’re just a hallucination. You’re not real.”

“Dad,” Robin says, and kneels down. “Dad I don’t know what’s happening. I was home until I wasn’t, and I was dead until I wasn’t and I don’t know what to do.”

Dad sighs And turns away. “Stop trying to trick me.” He says softly. “Robin and Catt are gone. They’ve been gone for years.”

“But I’m right here.” Robin says, and feels his tears build up again. “Dad, please!” And then he wraps his arms around his father’s thin body, and cries into his shoulder.

Dad is tense before he relaxes and grabs Robin’s arm and turns around. “Robin?” He whispers, and then wipes away the tears that fall. “Don’t cry, Birdie.”

He cradles him. “Do you know how you got here,” he asked, resting his chin on Robin’s head.

“No,” Robin said. “I just woke up here.”

Dad hums, softly. “You won’t be able to stay here.” He says. “The Warden won’t let you.”

Robin swallows and hugs him closer. “I know.”

“You shouldn’t be here though.” Dad says. “And I’d you’re here, where’s Catt?”

“Papa wasn’t there when I woke up.” Robin says. Dad nods.

They stay like that for a while.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

And then the Warden’s voice comes through the intercom with rage in his voice. “Visit time is over, Theadore.”

Robin shakes his head. “I’m not leaving.” He says.

Dad holds on a little tighter. “You have to go,” Dream murmurs.

“I won’t.” Robin states. He’s sweating, the lava not helping burning hot and the water in the cauldron and corner do nothing to help him.

“Visitor, if you do not leave I will be forced to come in the prison cell and take you out by force.”

Robin clings tighter. And the blocks comes up, and the lava falls and the Netherite armor of many shine across from them. Dad readjusts his grip and holds on, while Robin does the same.

Robin hears something shake and Dad quickly puts it on him, using his sleeves to cover it. He presses a kiss onto Robin’s forehead, ruffled his hairs. “Birdie.” He says. “You make me proud every day that you live. When you get out of here, go far far away. Go as far away as possible and don’t ever come back.”

“I can’t leave you.” Robin says and then there’s the Netherite armor closer. Robin starts screaming, as they try to pry his hands from his father. Dad’s yelling, too, shrieking to leave them alone.

His voice is shrill, and Robin sees some people covering their eyes but he doesn’t care. He holds onto his dad for life, and Dad doesn’t let go either.

(Not until the Warden shows up behind him, and Robin screams so, so loud. The Warden lifts a sword and then smacks Dad in the head with it. He crumbles and his grip loosens, and Robin screams.)

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

When Robin looks down at what Dad slapped onto his wrist, it was the same thing that he’d seen Tubbo and Puffy and Sam open up. Something so precious that Dad got to keep it in prison, and he’d just willfully given it up.

Robin opens up the communicator. The others have already disbanded, having saved the child from the “monster”.

“He did horrible things,” they all tell him. “He did bad, bad things.”

But Robin stares at the death messages with a blank look.

[Dream tried to swim in lava]

[Dream tried to swim in lava]

[Dream tried to swim in lava]

[Dream tried to swim in lava]

[Dream tried to swim in lava]

[Dream tried to swim in lava]

[Dream tried to swim in lava]

[Dream tried to swim in lava]

[Dream tried to swim in lava]

[Dream died trying to escape Awesamdude using [Warden’s Will Breaker]]

Robin swallows, hard. That’s his Dad there.

That’s his Dad.

The only one of their village still alive.

Robin makes a decision. He feels Dad’s lips on his forehead, burning hot. He feels a ruffle of his hair, like Papa’s there, next to him.

Papa would have wanted Dad out of prison. Papa wouldn’t have allowed this. Papa... Robin needs his Papa.

He turns around and squares his shoulders. Puffy (talking against to the Warden) doesn’t notice as he leaves, steps quick and silent.

Just like his Dad.

[florenceandthemachine]

hear your heartbeat

happy birthday to the incomparable @elisela!!! just for you, please enjoy a good fake-dating au with plenty of idiotic and family members abound.

12.5k - on Ao3

—————

“I’m telling you, Scotty. New York has been good to me. Maybe we should just renounce California and stay here for the summer.”

“Don’t joke about that, dude.”

Stiles laughed as he shouldered his phone, taking in the city air as he strolled along the streets of Manhattan.

Needless to say, Manhattan was far from home—while the city certainly was his vibe, Stiles was no stranger to tamping down the champagne tastes that clashed with his tapwater budget. The little shitbox apartment he got through NYU’s housing program was almost a thirty minute train ride from school, but Stiles figured that when he was more or less trapped on campus for nearly fifty hours a week, he could justify spending his breaks wandering the streets of Manhattan and really taking in the city.

On today’s agenda, Stiles was looking forward to wandering around a farmers market that literally stretched on for city blocks. There were fruits and vegetables literally as far as the eye could see, spices and roots and mysterious tubers of all shapes and size, but Stiles didn’t give a flying fuck about the food—his real interest were the vendors and the shoppers.

He had learned early on that open air markets like this were perfect meeting grounds for mythical beasts of all shapes and sizes, so, what better palace for him to do some… field work, so to speak?

There were nymphs who had full bouquets of beautiful flowers that lived suspiciously long in their vases as long as you complimented the blooms on a regular basis. Dryads who sold the most delicious fruit he had ever tasted, even if they charged six bucks for a pear.

Stiles had learned early on to avoid the fae—basically, any stand that sold crystal or metalcraft. His first time at the market, he had somehow wound up spending nearly four hundred dollars on quartz; the moment the money had left his hand, the stall had all but vanished in front of him.

“The people are good here. They’re fast. Blunt. Sarcastic. My kind of people.”

“Uh huh.”

Scott liked to call their whole situation lucky.

When Stiles applied to NYU’s doctorate program, he expected rounds and rounds of interviews, lists of deadlines he needed to memorize, and some less-than-subtle digs at his proposed field of study (which was fair, honestly—he knew that criminology and mythology rarely mixed).

What he didn’t expect was Scott, though, the bro of all bros. When Stiles told him he was applying to NYU, Scott had cheered him on, helped him prepare, and then immediately applied to different veterinary positions through the state.

(Scott was golden, obviously—he had years of training, letters of recommendation from everyone he had ever met, and him being a werewolf basically made him the animal whisperer.)

At the end of the day, Stiles got to pursue his passion thanks to a hodgepodge of grants at NYU, and Scott was awarded a fellowship in veterinary medicine through the Bronx Zoo. What kind of weird twist of luck would let the best friends wind up together across the country like that?

So, yeah, Scott called it luck.

Stiles called it karmic retribution for their supremely fucked-up years at Beacon Hills High, but even he could admit that ‘luck’ sounded nicer... and if Stiles was being honest, ‘luck’ was definitely the best way to classify his meeting Derek Hale.

Derek Hale was smart, he was sarcastic, and he could go toe-to-toe with Stiles over completely obscure things for literal hours. He was a first-year professor at NYU, who had the tiny office right next to the broom closet Stiles had managed to shove PHD desk into, and he was probably the only other person in the program that took mythology seriously (meaning he was the only person who didn’t make Stiles want to put his head through the wall).

He was also hot as fuck, but that was beside the point. Stiles had a little bit of a massive crush, but that was also beside the point.

They had built up a fast friendship based on a series of arguments about the Necronomicon, of all things, and Stiles loved the thought of being friends with someone who didn’t know him as the weird kid in high school who knew way too much about ritual sacrifice and circumcision.

He had evened out a lot through undergrad. He was still awkward, sure, but he was awkward with a refillable prescription for Adderall and some sort of brain-to-mouth filter.

(Honestly, the fact that Stiles had managed to avoid making a single joke about the werewolf who was stuck teaching Mythology 101 really did speak volumes to his newfound maturity.)

Speaking of Derek, though…

“Stiles! Hey, Stiles!”

Stiles almost jumped a foot in the air as he heard his name called, doing a spectacular near-drop-mid-air-catch of his phone as he regained his footing, turning on the spot to see a taller woman with jet black hair waving him over.

She was… okay, she was gorgeous—dark hair, smooth skin, someone who looked like she just stepped out of one of the windows on Fifth Avenue—but Stiles was decently distracted, because standing beside her was Derek Hale, the object of his extremely private affection for the past few months. Who, for whatever reason, was standing there looking like he wanted the sidewalk to open up and swallow him whole.

“Scotty, I’ll see you tonight, yeah? I gotta go.”

Stiles pocketed his phone as he cautiously made his way over to the pair—trio, he corrected, because there was another woman with them, looking incredibly more invested in the conversation now that another party was joining them.

He hiked his canvas a bit higher up as he smiled, trying to remember where he had seen the two before… students, maybe, but if that were the case, they would know Derek, not Stiles. They weren’t faculty members, he was sure of that. Donors to the program, maybe?

Well, if they were donors, Stiles sincerely hoped that Derek would have tried harder to wear literally any expression other than his current ‘bitter and miserable’.

And if they were donors, why were they so fucking happy to see him?

“I’m Laura. This is Cora.”

The taller of the two women extended her hand confidently as Stiles got within arms reach, and he instinctively reached out to take it, Cora following suit. “Derek has told us all about you. I have to say, I figured there was at least a ten percent chance you were made up, but… here you are!”

“Here I am!” Stiles was officially lost, but he kept his smile up, cheeks pinking up a little bit as he turned back to Derek. “You’ve been talking about me?” he asked, his voice on the line between flattered and teasing, nudging Derek playfully as he tilted his head.

“Stiles, I—“

“Of course he has! Derek’s a private guy, sure, but you can’t be surprised he told us about his new—“

“Laura—”

“Lord, Derek, calm down. You already had your big bisexual awakening, I’m allowed to be excited to meet your first boyfriend.” Laura shot back, her glare rivaling Derek’s absolute best ‘listen to teacher’ look, and Stiles could see the muscle in his jaw start to twitch. He probably would have done something, but… he was basically short circuiting, brain trying to keep up with whatever the fuck Laura had said, because Derek now had his arm around Stiles’ waist.

Derek had a big bisexual awakening?

And a boyfriend, apparently?

How had Stiles missed that??

“Stiles, these are my sisters, Laura and Cora Hale.”

Okay, great, they were Derek’s sisters. Stiles didn’t even know that Derek had sisters, which was a little sad if he thought about it.

Thankfully, he didn’t have long to think about it, because Derek—

“This is Stiles, my… my boyfriend. Now stop bombarding him. Give him half a fucking second before you go a thousand miles an hour.”

Oh—oh God. Stiles was the boyfriend.

He had seriously missed something, then—he didn’t think he had confessed his feelings for Derek anytime recently, or he probably would have died from embarrassment. Scott was really good at hiding his phone when he was drinking, which ruled that entire scenario out. Stiles could be forgetful at times, sure, but he thought he would remember if he had managed to score himself a boyfriend.

He looked up at Derek, trying to ignore the sudden burn of contact where their bodies were pressed together, but his brain was extremely focused the moment that he caught the look on Derek’s face, there and gone in a flash. He felt the hand squeeze at his waist, and the message was clear enough.

Please.

Ah, well. Stiles was always good at bullshitting, and this was no exception.

“No, no, Der, it’s fine! It’s good to meet you both, sorry, I wasn’t even expecting to see Derek until… uh, later, let alone meet anyone new,” Stiles said, his voice 100% betraying his nerves as it picked up an octave.

Laura’s voice was much more evenly toned, even if it was a little teasing. “Oh? You two have big plans tonight? We aren’t interrupting anything, are we?” she said with a grin, giving the distinct impression that even if they were interrupting, she and her sister wouldn’t be leaving until they were good and ready. Stiles felt his mind kick into overdrive, waving the question aside.

“Oh, nothing like that. We were going to meet up with my friend Scott for dinner, introducing the boyfriend to the best friend, you know how it is,” he continued, hoping his little chuckle wasn’t too terribly fake as he reached up to pat the lapels of Derek’s jacket, letting his fingers linger a little too long on Derek’s chest as he nodded.

He hoped that she knew how it was. Hell, Stiles didn’t even know how it was. He hadn’t exactly been rolling in romance since moving across the country.

“Well, if you say so,” Laura mused, raising a perfect brow, head tilted to the side. “You look like you’re about to pass out, Stiles. You alright?”

And, okay, Stiles knew enough to know what that meant. It meant that her super-sonic ears could hear his heart trying to break through his ribs with a staccato beat, typically a tell-tale sign that someone was lying, but… maybe he could work that to his advantage. He swallowed, voice a little tight as he laughed, waving the concern away.

“Sorry, I just wasn't… planning on meeting the family today,” Stiles said, probably the most truthful thing he had ever said. “Usually I’d try to prepare a little more, you know, make sure I’m wearing something nice and avoid putting my entire foot in my mouth. Maybe just a toe or two,” he said, relaxing minutely as Cora snorted from her position near Laura’s elbow.

Okay, so self depreciation was a good way to avoid suspicion with all the Hales. Got it.

“Well, if you both have plans, I’ll make this quick,” Laura said, her voice deceptively charming as she sidled up next to Stiles, though he certainly wasn’t going to complain about the way Derek’s hand tightened around his waist. “The semester is up soon, what are your plans this summer? Never mind, move them back. We’re having a family reunion the week after finals, and everyone is dying to meet baby brother Derek’s new boo after all the stories he’s told.”

…stories?

He looked up to Derek again, who was now blushing up to the tips of his ears, which—okay, cute—but which told him absolutely nothing and offered him exactly zero defense.

“Actually, I already have a flight booked as soon as my spring contract is up. Heading back to Beacon Hills for a few days, and—“

“Wait, did Derek already invite you?” Laura asked, her expression pleasantly surprised, and Stiles was speechless for a half second before Derek stepped in.

“No, I didn’t invite him because I’m not even going, Laura. Besides, he has his own plans with his own family,” he said, and Stiles blinked as he tried to keep up. “And what do you mean, they’re excited to meet him? I was very clear that the further I can keep him away from you and Mom, the better.”

Laura only rose a brow as she turned back to Cora, who took a beat before looking up from her phone, her expression halfway guilty as she clutched the device. “I uh—I may have just sent a picture of you two to the family group chat.”

Stiles choked on a laugh as Derek gasped—actually gasped—and pulled his phone from his pocket, making the mistake of releasing Stiles’ shoulder to unlock the device, looking absolutely scandalized as he glared at Cora.

It wasn’t long before Stiles had a similar look on his face, though, as Laura took advantage of his free arm, linking her own with his as she started to walk. “Alright, Stiles, here’s the deal.”

“Cora, you little—hey! Laura, get back here with my boyfriend!”

“Calm down little brother, the adults are talking.”

“He’s younger than I am!”

“So, Stiles, like I was saying,” Laura started, oblivious or ignorant to the way Stiles' mind had absolutely reeled when Derek had called him his boyfriend for the second time. “Derek hasn’t been home for more than a day visit since he moved out to this dump, and no one has raised a stink about it in years. This year, though, is… important,” she started, and Stiles nodded idly as he mentally ran through the calendar in his head.

The semester was over in just over a week, with finals crammed into three days after that, and then—oh, the full moon.

No, Stiles corrected himself, the blue moon. The first blue moon in May in probably… thirty years, if he had to guess. He nodded up to Laura as that clicked into place, a flicker of curiosity crossing over her face as she continued talking.

“We won’t take up that much of your time—it’s only like two events, I promise, and I also promise Derek will personally take care of whatever flight changes you have to make so you can still get some time with your family. After all, it’s not your fault my bonehead brother tried to exclude you until now.”

“I’m not a bonehead!” Derek said, his tone of voice just exasperated enough that Stiles sighed, carefully extracting himself from Laura’s grasp as they slowed to a stop near the curb of Fifth Avenue, the noise from the farmers market blending in with the sound of traffic as he turned back to Derek.

“Alright, hang on, hold up,” Stiles started, his tone firm enough to stop the three wolves in their tracks, Derek and Laura wearing matching expressions of surprise as they stopped in their tracks—even Cora was peeking over her phone, clearly interested, and Stiles couldn’t blame them. It had probably been a long time since either of them had been stopped by a human.

“Laura, Derek is not a bonehead. He’s smart, and he’s sweet, and he’s very kind, and it’s okay that he’s a little more private. Yeah, he’s also a stubborn asshole, but… well, that’s one of the reasons I like him so much,” Stiles said, the first genuine smile in the entire conversation gracing his face as he looked at Derek again. “But you know your brother. Did you really think that catching him off guard across the country in person was going to be the best way to convince him to visit?”

He was fine taking their silence as an answer, honestly.

“Now, Derek, that being said, I… if you are comfortable with it, I can rearrange my plans and come down with you. If you’re not comfortable with that, that’s okay too. Meeting the family—at least, the rest of the family—is a very big step,” he continued, his words very pointed.

(Yes, Derek, meeting the family would be a very big step for someone you weren’t even dating, please pick up on the subliminal messaging here.)

“But even if you’re not comfortable with me being there, I think you should still go down. I’ll get to spend plenty of time with my dad, you shouldn’t have to be all alone up here while I’m gone.”

Moving to smooth over the lapels on Derek’s jacket again, Stiles only barely tampered down a noise of surprise as Derek intercepted his hands, pleasantly shocked by how easily Derek’s warm, smooth fingers slipped between his own lanky digits.

Stiles felt his cheeks pinks up as he cleared his throat, doing his best to act normal, because he was… well, he wasn’t lying. He had absolutely thought about Derek being alone here in New York while Stiles was gone, but that was more in the sense that Stiles would miss him.

He just didn’t know that Derek might be missing some family, too.

Besides, he may not have known that much about the intricacies of a normal, family pack, but Stiles knew enough to know that a big event like this would probably be good for Derek, even if he didn’t want to admit it.

Even if Derek was going to reject his offer and go down alone.

…because Derek was going to reject him.

Derek was going to reject him, right?

Stiles had been fairly sure of that when he offered, but judging by the way Derek couldn’t meet his eyes after something as simple as holding hands, Stiles might have just fucked himself over. Derek opened and closed his mouth twice before he finally let out a huff of air and looked up, doing a remarkably good impression of a guilty animal as he looked at Stiles.

“…you’re sure you don’t mind?”

Fuck.

“Derek, I wouldn’t have offered if I minded,” Stiles said, and that much was at least true—but before he could say anything else, Laura was squealing in his ear, wrapping both of them up in a hug so tight Stiles almost had to remind her that he was human, but he was able to breathe again as the car next to the curb chirped.

“Thank God, Stiles, thank you for getting through to him! Oh, Nana is gonna flip out when she hears who’s coming—Derek, you know you’ve always been her favorite—Stiles, do you have any dietary restrictions? Derek, send me his number, and—no, Cora, you are not driving us back to the airport, move your ass—“

Stiles looked up to Derek, his expression somewhere between bemused and fearful as Laura rambled on, but… well, the apologetic look that Derek had on his face wasn’t much reassurance.

“—and Stiles, you’re going to love Beacon Hills. Bye boys! See you in two weeks!”

Stiles was left, partially shellshocked as Derek’s hand slipped from his own, the need for the facade no longer essential as the shiny silver rental car pulled into traffic.

“… Derek, since when the fuck are you from Beacon Hills?”

—————

“Scotty, stop laughing, this isn’t funny.”

“Dude, are you kidding me? This is hilarious.”

Stiles groaned as he shoved another slice of pizza into his mouth, ignoring the burning sensation that spread across his tongue as he tried to pack as much melted cheese as he could into one bite.

Scott’s apartment had been their go-to for the entire time he and Stiles had been in the city—not because it was huge and glamorous, not by any means, but Scott’s shoebox had a door between the bathroom and the living room, and therefore it was the best place for bro-time by default.

Stiles had loudly complained about the entire situation when he and Derek showed up on Scott’s stoop, firmly planting himself in his favorite of Scott’s chairs—the ‘old man’ recliner next to Scott’s little television, the game on screen forgotten as he recalled their harrowed tale.

“Stiles, if you weren’t comfortable with it, why even… okay, no, don’t you dare answer me until you swallow,” Derek snapped, and Stiles rolled his eyes as he swallowed a few times, sticking his tongue out at Derek once his mouth was empty.

“Good. Thank you for pretending to be an adult. Now, why did you even offer if it wasn’t something you were comfortable with.”

Because it was supposed to just be a gesture, Derek. Because I didn’t realize you would take it as a serious offer, Derek. Because you were supposed to say no, Derek.

… because I didn’t want you to be alone, Derek.

Honestly, as surprised as Stiles was that Derek took him up on his poorly-timed moment of goodness, he was even more surprised that after Laura drove off, when he numbly asked if Derek wanted to come over to Scott’s for some pizza, Derek actually said yes.

Derek Hale was being social. Alert the media.

(Well… maybe ‘social’ was stretching it a bit—Stiles didn’t know if it was a territory thing or what, but Derek had turned hilariously, awkwardly stiff the moment he stepped inside Scott’s apartment.)

“I offered because I’m nice, dick, but don’t even think that you can turn this on me. Derek, they knew my name. They knew what I looked like. And yeah, I mean, I’m a complete catch and all—oh fuck off, Scotty—but what in the actual, literal fuck?”

Stiles didn’t think it was possible, but somehow Derek got even more tense, shoulders tightening up toward his ears as he looked down. It took a moment before he answered, but Stiles knew by then that Derek usually had to… wind himself up to talk about some things.

“My mother lives on the opposite end of the country, and even then, she still managed to set up twenty four blind dates for me last year. Twenty four, Stiles. That’s basically one every other week. Do you have any idea how much small talk that is? And how much I hate small talk?”

Yes, Stiles thought, to both of those questions. He would never admit this out loud, of course, but thinking about one of the most intensely private people that he knew stuck at some shitty little coffee shop trying to chat with some random female on behalf of his mother was hilarious to a degree he couldn’t fathom.

It definitely wasn’t a redirection of his own… personal feelings that may or may not be directed at Derek. Not at all. Nope.

“So, around the time the spring semester started, when my mother let slide that she had passed along my number to yet another perfectly eligible barista, or something, I panicked and told her I had a boyfriend. And then she asked for a photo, and the most recent one on my phone was that selfie you sent miming your own death in the stacks, so…”

“Oh fuck, Derek,” Stiles started, downing the last of his beer. “Your big bisexual awakening wasn’t just you trying to get out of your mom setting you up on dates, right?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, ass,” Derek said, rolling his eyes as he shook his head. “The two events were completely separate.”

Stiles laughed at the thought, but even then, his mind was reeling. If this wasn’t a recent discovery, how in the fuck did Stiles miss that for so long?

“Well, you’re lucky Scotty and I had a flight booked anyway. I won’t let you face them alone, not when you have a picture perfect boyfriend to show off now—what role should I take on? Doting, love struck fool? Rebel without a care? Some sad forlorn loser who… okay, no, that one is too close to home.”

Scott stood up and laughed as Derek glared at Stiles again, but it didn’t take a genius to see the tiny smile on his face, or the way his shoulders eased as he leaned back into the couch.

“Alright, this is getting too intense a conversation while the game is on. Want another beer, Stiles? You, Derek?”

Stiles made a vaguely affirming noise as he wove his hand in Scott’s direction, eyes drawn back to Derek yet again as the other wolf politely declined, his own attention affixed to the television as the game picked back up.

Derek was… not a particularly expressive person, Stiles knew, and part of that was because Derek had what Stiles affectionately called ‘resting grumpy face’; at least, he did privately, because the one time he said it out loud Derek had thrown the Encyclopaedia of Demomorgons at his head.

So, to the outsider looking in, Derek might have just seemed uninterested in the game; but Stiles had been watching Derek work for the better part of a semester, and he knew perfectly well how to tell when Derek’s resting grumpy face formed an actual frown. Which it did. Because apparently, the Mets had personally offended him.

“I’m sorry, are you seriously glaring at the Mets? While they’re winning?”

Derek leveled Stiles with the most unimpressed glare he could as Scott laughed from his kitchen, walking back into the living room with two beers. “God, I hope he was. It would be nice to have someone with taste in the apartment for once.”

“Scotty!” Stiles gasped, clutching his heart as Scott handed him a beer, extending the claw on his thumb to pop the top off before he handed the bottle over. “The Mets are a treasure, okay? If God lived in New York, she’d be a Mets fan. I have suffered much for my Mets in my lifetime, and they—woah, Derek, you okay?”

Stiles’ charming cliches would have to wait, because when he looked over to Derek, his humor dropped immediately. Derek had gone white as a sheet, jaw slack as he stared at the beer in Stiles’ hand.

He stared back and forth between Scott and Derek, trying to figure what the hell had just happened; it wasn’t until he watched Scott pop the top off of his own beer, looking between the two of them, did Stiles put two and two together.

“Derek, you… you had to know that Scott was a were, right? Like, you had to. He—Scotty doesn’t do subtle.”

“Me?! Stiles, you called me a wet dog for like a month after I fell into the Hudson.”

Derek let out a sort of choked noise as he shut his mouth, coming back into himself as a bit of pink dusted his pale cheeks, hands moving in front of his face. “Of—of course I knew, but—you knew?!”

“Dude, I’m studying mythical lore and criminology. I’m the one who taught this furry fucker how to control himself. Of course I knew, I... oh my god. You didn’t know that I knew—uh, that I know.”

Matching looks of realization dawned on Scott and Stiles’ face as Stiles stood up, putting the beer down on the coffee table. He moved next to Derek as he sat down on the couch, keeping his movement slow, reaching out to pat Derek’s leg like he was a frail old lady.

“Derek, I know.”

After what felt like an age and a half, Derek melted into the couch, a huge sigh leaving his lips as all the tension in his body bled out like a string had been cut, burying his head in his hands.

“We’ve had arguments about wolves in pop culture. I’ve offered to help you out with your coursework every full moon for, like, the entire semester. Dude, you had to know that I knew, there’s no way I didn’t—Derek!” Stiles felt his giddy laughter bubble over as Derek shot him a red-eyed glare through his fingers, his scowl somehow less intimidating now that everything was out in the open.

Okay, Derek wasn’t just a wolf, he was an alpha. That was… interesting.

“God, you two really are perfect fake boyfriends. Two halves of a whole idiot. Derek, are you sure you don’t want a beer? Or maybe something stronger, if you have to deal with Stiles?” Scott said easily, laughing as Stiles immediately protested, though the way Stiles eased himself next to Derek wasn’t exactly subtle, either.

—————

Scott may have been joking, but by the time finals had come and gone, Stiles had accepted the fact that he would have to forgo booze and opt for a mainline of caffeine to keep up with Derek. How one person remained so meticulously organized, Stiles would never know—but in the amount of time it took for Stiles to wrap up his grant work for the semester, Derek had given four exams, proctored three more, cleaned out his office, and shared the updated flight itinerary with Stiles.

“Wait, wait, hang on,” Stiles had said, tripping over an empty box in his tiny office as Derek handed him his updated boarding pass. “Why do we have to change our flights? Scott and I are already booked, you can probably just join us, right?”

Derek rose a perfectly sculpted brow as he tapped the ticket again, shaking his head. “Hey, I promised you’d spend as few days as possible with my family, and I intend to keep that promise. The sooner we get in, the sooner we start that clock, the sooner you get to spend the rest your time with your dad.”

Stiles blinked as he looked down to the itinerary, eyes scanning over the earlier time—and it was non-stop too. That would be a bit killer on the legs, but Stiles could handle that, maybe he could take some time to sleep or pester Derek for...

“Uh, Derek... this ticket is for first class.”

“I know, Stiles, I booked it.”

“Dude, there’s a reason Scott and I booked an economy ticket with a layover in Bismarck. There’s no way I can pay you back for this.”

If looks could kill, Stiles would be... maybe not dead, but at least set on fire. Derek sighed, as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders as he rolled his eyes.

“You’re not paying me back, dumbass. You’re already doing a ton for me with this little... charade, the least I can do is make sure your frail human body—“

“Hey!”

”—is comfortable in a lie flat seat.”

“Look, I appreciate that, but I’m not leaving Scott alone on his flight in coach just because of our... fake... whatever.”

Stiles’ voice trailed off in curiosity as Derek sighed, his cheeks pink as he pulled the paper out of Stiles’ hand, pointing to the second half of the sheet—where MCCALL, SCOTT had been printed in big, bold letters, that Stiles had completely ignored.

“... you got Scott a ticket too?”

“Of course I did. He’s your best friend, I wasn’t going to ask you to leave him behind just for me. Besides, who do you think I got your information from to book the flight?” Derek said dryly, as though his deadpan delivery could cancel out the ruddy color to his cheeks, or the way that Stiles’ stomach flip flopped when the reality of that sunk in.

It was nice that Derek acknowledged the importance of their friendship, in the way that tugged at the little space right beneath his sternum, but something about the way Derek so quickly dismissed himself was... concerning.

Stiles couldn’t help but play that little bit of their conversation over in his head as he packed, as he hopped on the train, as he met up with Scott and Derek in security.

Scott, bless his heart, was absolutely elated—his excitement was almost tangible as they dropped off luggage, walked through security, and stood around at the boarding gate. Derek had to smack the both of them to get them to stand up when first class was called to board, and Stiles idly wondered if Derek regretted associating himself with them when he and Scott managed to trip in sync as they went down the jetway.

Derek and Stiles were seated together, of course, and once Stiles got over the novelty of not having a middle seat on a plane, he liked to imagine he fit right in—easing back into the seat, enjoying the comfort of the little blanket he had been given, grinning at the flight attendant as she checked in with them.

(Scott was one row ahead and across the aisle, close enough that Stiles could lean forward and smack him if he wanted to... but the moment Stiles saw his seat mate, a pretty woman with dark hair and impeccable eyeliner, he knew his best bro would be on a different planet for the entirety of the flight.)

His grin slipped a little bit, though, as he thought back to the conversation surrounding the tickets, and he looked up to Derek as he settled in a bit further.

“So, we never went over what role I should be taking on.”

“Stiles, just be yourself. You’re funny enough, and you generally mean well, they’ll love who you are.”

Yeah… who he was. Well, who he was was someone who was going to be dangerously invested in a fake relationship that would probably end terribly for him, so that was fun. He sighed as he settled into the seat, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he debated on where to go from here.

No time like a non stop plane ride to have a potentially awkward conversation, right?

“Dude, we’re friends, right?”

“We’re fake boyfriends, don’t call me dude.”

Derek’s tone was teasing as he flipped through his SkyMall, a small smile on his face, and Stiles felt a little bit of the tension ease out of his shoulders as he buckled in.

“First of all, I have called many boyfriends ‘dude’ before,” Stiles started, ignoring Derek’s snort of laughter, “and I’m being serious. We... we are friends, right?”

Be it his words or his awkward energy, Derek looked up, surprise on his face as he closed the magazine and stowed it away as the plane bumped down the taxiway.

“Of course we are, Stiles. You’re like... the only person I talk to at work outside of teaching, that’s light years ahead of most of New York as a whole.”

“I mean, I’m glad to hear, I just...” Stiles chewed on his lip as he turned in his seat, weirdly soothed by the roar of the engines as the takeoff roll started. “You know about my dad, and about my school, and about Scott, and those are basically the three important things in my life,” he started, letting out a sigh as Derek just stared at him blankly.

“It’s fine that you’re a private person, I can respect that... seriously, I may not understand it, but I can respect it,” Stiles said, grinning as Derek shot him a look, lowering his voice again as he leaned over the divider between them. “But I didn’t know that you were from my hometown, too. Or that you had sisters, let alone other family. I should have asked, I guess, but... you know you can talk to me about things, yeah? Even after all this is over, you’ll always be Derek to me. Not just another Hale.”

Stiles’ was smiling as he gently bumped Derek’s shoulder with his own, watching the way different emotions warred over his face, biting back on the urge to babble on so he could give Derek the time he needed to respond.

“We’re... we are friends, Stiles. We are.” Derek insisted, looking down to his linked hands as the plane continued to rise. “Sometimes, I just... I’m not great about talking about myself.”

For a while, Stiles thought that was all he was going to get, and honestly, he was fine with it—it wasn’t until the fasten seatbelt sign chimed off and the flight attendants passed out little bottles of water that Derek spoke again, his voice low as he cleared his throat.

“My family is huge. Like, big enough that we need spreadsheets and flowcharts to organize family events like this. I know they love me, and I love them too, of course I do, but I made some really, really stupid decisions when I was younger… I know they forgave me for it, but...”

Derek sighed, taking a deep breath as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sometimes it’s hard to be around them and still be okay with myself, you know?”

No, Stiles didn’t know. He only had his dad and Scott growing up, but he nodded his head encouragingly as he took a sip of his water.

“I actually have four siblings. Mark is the oldest, and then Taylor, and I’m right between Laura and Cora. They’re betas, like my dad; my mom and I are both alphas, her mom, too…” Derek continued, and Stiles smiled as he settled into his seat.

By the time the flight landed, Stiles’ head was full to the brim with Hale family trivia, names, faces, teasing stories, and the warmth that had danced across Stiles’ chest for the past year or so had bloomed into a full-on fire.

Would it lead to his downfall? Probably.

But when he saw how Derek smiled when he remembered Mark’s graduating medical school, or heard the pride in his voice when he talked about Laura’s charity work, and the genuine joy he got to see when he heard another story about Derek’s childhood… well, that was all more than worth it.

—————

“I think you should kiss me.”

Stiles had to stop himself from laughing at the look that Derek shot him, doing his best to keep his body language casual as he leaned against the gas pump at a tiny station outside of Beacon Hills, though he knew his heart was going at about a million miles a minute.

“I—you—what?”

“Derek, I’m an affectionate dude, in case you couldn’t tell from all the hand holding. And if you’re going to freak out if I kiss your cheek, then you should freak out now, not when we’re in front of your family.”

Stiles knew full well his heart betrayed his confidence, but seeing Derek’s ears go pink as he dumped the armful of snacks Stiles had asked for into the back seat was a welcome sight—it was always nice to know that Derek’s cool and controlled exterior could be ruffled up once in a while.

Somewhere between the rental kiosk and the gas station, Stiles had decided that he was going to go all in on this. His little crush was already stuck right in the back of his throat and would be unlikely to dislodge any time soon, so he figured that indulging himself in the fake relationship Derek had set up for him… well, it wouldn’t do any good, but it was unlikely to make things worse for him than it already was.

It was a little weird being alone with Derek—Stiles didn’t realize it until now, but between meeting Derek’s sisters and meeting the rest of their family, this was the first time they had been alone together. They had other staff members at school, or strangers around the city, or Scott (who had politely declined a ride back to Beacon Hills with Derek and Stiles, choosing instead to split an Uber with his pretty new friend, Kira).

“You know, as far as first kisses go, usually they’re a little more romantic than just a demand. You’re supposed to woo me, Stiles,” Derek said, his sarcastic tone betrayed by his shy little smile as he pulled the nozzle out of his tank, closing the gas cap as Stiles gasped in mock offense.

“Hey, I said you should kiss me, not the other way around. Why should I have to be the one to woo?” Stiles started, sliding into the passenger’s seat as Derek followed suit. “After all, this relationship wouldn’t have even happened without your instigation, so why should I… uh… Der?”

Stiles’ voice trailed off as Derek’s hand sunk into the soft crook at the juncture of his neck, effectively cutting off his entire train of thought as Derek’s thumb pressed against the hollow of his jaw.

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

“O-Okay.”

For a minute, all Stiles could think of were those cheesy old rom-coms, where fireworks would go off, or bells would chime, but kissing Derek was nothing like that. It was the comfort of wrapping yourself in an electric blanket, instead of the shock of jumping into a frozen pond; the familiar buzz of goosebumps over his skin over a bolt of lightning. He felt a surprised little noise leave his chest as Derek’s tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue flicking out instinctively to drag along Derek’s bottom lip, hands coming up to rest against the wolves chest.

Stiles could feel his heart beating through every inch of his skin as the kiss broke, struggling to remind himself how to breathe as he opened his eyes again, his nose brushing against Derek’s as he let out a little huff of a laugh.

“Was that enough woo for you?” Derek asked, his voice barely more than a whisper, and Stiles smiled as he nodded his head, savoring the way that neither of them moved back. Derek’s hand was warm against the crook of his jaw, his own palm flat against Derek's chest, and it was natural, it was so nice, it was—

Fake. It was all fake.

Stiles sighed, closing his eyes as he gently leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, that mantra playing through his head as he pulled himself back. He buckled himself in easily as he took in a deep breath, his goofy grin still in place as he looked back up to Derek.

“See? Now you can honestly tell your mom we had our first kiss at a gas station and that it was magical and I totally rocked your world.”

“Is that what happened, though? I mean, if you wanted me to kiss you so badly, you should have just asked,” Derek said, the sarcasm thick in his voice as he started the car, and Stiles laughed as they pulled out of the lot, his hand finding Derek’s easily once again.

Their silence remained comfortable as they left the city skyline behind and basically blew through Beacon Hills, the trees inching closer to the road as they wound through the preserve.

Finishing off a bag of M&M’s, Stiles cleared his throat as he crumpled up the wrapper and chucked it in the back seat, sucking a little bit of melted chocolate off of his thumb. “So. Is this regular introducing-the-boyfriend-to-the-family nerves I’m looking at here, or is this introducing-the-fake-boyfriend-to-the-family nerves? You don’t have any weirdos in your family, do you? An ex-felon auntie? A cousin who doesn’t quite get personal space?”

Stiles grinned as Derek laughed, oddly comforted by the sound as Derek shook his head. “Nothing exciting. A weird uncle, I guess. Lots of cousins, you should basically abandon any idea of personal space as soon as we walk in, and plenty of human family, too—so you won’t be alone in that. As far as felons go, well… none of us have been caught?”

“Hey, game recognizes game, it doesn’t count if you don’t get caught. And I can work with a weird uncle.” Stiles laughed at the sheepish look that Derek shot his way, his fingers still happily wrapped up in Derek’s warm hands. He could almost feel it when they crossed over onto the Hale land, the huge, white house as much of a giveaway as the shrieks of joy that even Stiles could hear from the property.

“They’re gonna love you, you know?” Derek’s voice was soft as he pulled the rental into a long row of cars, nearly lining the road leading up to the house, and Stiles felt the snarky remark die on his tongue as Derek caught his eye, his expression somewhere between grateful and wistful as he turned the car off.

“Maybe, but…” Stiles sighed as he popped his door open, chewing over his next words carefully. “But if they do, it’s because they already love you.”

He took it as a personal victory when Derek turned away, his ears pink again, and Stiles couldn’t help but grin as he followed the werewolf up the path to his family home.

The Hale House was probably as huge and impressive as the Hale family itself from the outside, and Stiles did his best not to gape like a fool as Derek opened the door for him, his hand finding the small of Stiles’ back as they stepped into the house. Polished floors, huge, high windows, a grand staircase that was the definition of grand, and—

“Derek!”

—and another unfairly attractive Hale moving forward to greet them. Tall, broad, dark hair with just a splash of salt around the temples and the goatee, shining a million watt smile on Derek and Stiles as he wiped his hands on his probably-uncomfortably-tight jeans.

Jesus, was everyone in this family gorgeous? Stiles was going to get a complex.

He looked up as the stranger and Derek briefly hugged, watching the halfway-subtle way they scented one another, Mark’s head buried in Derek’s neck for a half moment before they pulled away. If Stiles strained his ear, he could have heard something along the lines of ‘be nice’ as Derek pulled back; if the situation weren’t so funny, Stiles probably would have blushed.

“Don’t listen to him, I’m always nice. I’m Mark, and you…” Mark started, his million watt smile back in place as his eyes dragged over Stiles’ body, “... you must be Stiles.” Stiles snorted as Mark pulled him into an easy hug, catching Stiles just a little off-guard as he was wrapped in another pair of arms.

Apparently Derek’s family was an affectionate bunch. Stiles didn’t know if it was a wolf thing or a Hale thing, but either way, it was good to know.

“Mark, uh, Seattle, right? You’re the surgeon?” Stiles asked, clearing his throat as the hug carried on just a bit too long, regaining some footing in the introduction as he pulled back. “Derek’s told me a lot about you.”

That was… mostly true, Derek had told him enough about Mark to thoroughly embarrass the older male, and Mark looked like he expected nothing less as he laughed, holding Stiles’ shoulders as he stood at arms length. “Yeah, I’m sure he did, but it’s probably all garbage. After all, how can you really describe a wonder like me in words, huh?”

He actually winked, and Stiles honestly couldn’t believe that this dude was for real.

“Der, nice job with this one. He’s cute. Kid, is my brother treating you well? Cause, you know, if Hale is your taste, you can do much better than—”

”Mark—“

“Oh, lighten up Der-bear, there isn’t enough Botox in the world to get rid of those scowl lines. It was a joke. Now come on, everyone’s out back.”

Stiles laughed again as Mark put Derek in an easy headlock, ruffling up his hair as he led them outside, immediately filing ‘Der-bear’ away for future use as they stepped out into the backyard.

The backyard, which was absolutely filled with Hales.

He felt his heart do a funny little lurch as he was hit with the sheer family of it all—all dark haired, all gorgeous, and for just a moment, he wanted to smack Derek upside the head. There were probably generations of Hales here; Derek had all this family, this built in support group, and he was just going to spend the summer holed up in New York?

“Alright, Siles, we’re gonna keep you in with the main family and keep you away from the cousins,” Mark started, artfully ignoring the way Derek was swatting at him. “Uncle Peter all but insisted that Mom come pick him up, so you’ll get to avoid them until later tonight, but who you really want to watch out for is—“

“Is that my grandbaby?!”

Mark stiffened as Derek perked up, and Stiles couldn’t help but snicker as a bony hand shot up, grabbing Mark by the scruff of his neck, pulling him off of Derek with a flourish that would probably seem overly dramatic if Stiles didn’t know just how much werewolf strength was packed behind it.

“Derek!”

“Hi, Nana.”

Stiles couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as Derek leaned in to wrap his arms around the older woman—she was a good foot shorter than he was, her movements loud, with light skinned with the same tell-tale black hair that the rest of the family had. What caught Stiles’ eye, though, was the way Derek scented her—it was the same way Mark scented him, a familial nudge that Stiles read easily as a sign of deference.

Whoever this Nana was, she was clearly the woman in charge here.

“You know, we’re all technically her grandbabies,” Mark started as he reappeared at Stiles’ shoulder, rubbing the back of his neck, his childish pout painfully obvious as he pointed his words. “But you wouldn’t know it with the blatant favoritism she shows for Derek!”

“Mark, don’t be such a baby,” Nana Hale said as she pulled back from Derek’s hug, patting his cheek affectionately. She raised a brow in a spectacularly unimpressed fashion as she turned to look at her eldest grandson, sighing in mock disappointment. “Not that I thought a career based off of liposuction and face lifts would have brought you some maturity.”

“That’s—I don’t just do—Nana!”

“Now, who do we have here? Derek, are you going to introduce me to your special friend?”

Ignoring Mark’s protests easily as she turned her attention, Stiles felt his heart pick up again, his eyes flicking to Derek as he beamed; Stiles wasn’t sure if he was happy to see Mark get smacked down, or if he was happy to introduce Stiles, but Stiles would have literally killed a man to see Derek smile that brightly on a regular basis.

“Nana, this is my boyfriend, Stiles Stilinski. Stiles, this is my grandmother, Ger—“

“Nana Hale will do just fine, thank you very much,” she interrupted, pulling a face that made Stiles grin—he could absolutely relate to someone who would rather set their birth name on fire than own up to it. “Now, come here, let me get a look at you.”

Stiles stepped forward and hesitated a half moment, not sure if he should try one last time for a handshake or wait for her to initiate a hug, but before he could make up his mind she had her hands clasped on his elbows, a grip like iron stopping him in his tracks.

“Scrawny little thing, aren’t you? We’ll take care of that, don’t you worry. It’s good to meet you, sweetheart, let’s get you some food.”

“It’s good to meet you too—and some food sounds great,” Stiles said with a laugh, ignoring the fact that he was still full of junk food as Nana Hale all but preened beside him. Her grip was gentle but unyielding as she dragged him to a table that was piled with food, giving a half wave to Laura and Cora, who were stationed beside a punch bowl the size of a fish tank as he kept himself a half step behind Nana.

Stiles wasn’t dumb, okay? He knew how to make nice with wolves, and more importantly, he knew how to be subtle.

(He didn’t like it, but he knew how to do it.)

“Uncle Derek! Get Uncle Derek!!”

Thankfully, the moment was over in a flash as Stiles heard a familiar name called out in a high pitched squeal, looking back out to the yard where a hoard of kids had just caught sight (or scent?) of Derek, immediately abandoning the rough-and-tumble games they seemed to be wrapped up in to run toward Derek as fast as their little legs could carry them.

Derek immediately tensed, a manic grin on his face as he prepared to run, body twitching as he caught himself before taking off. He sent a look Stiles’ way that was somehow both apologetic and asking remission, and Stiles sighed as he smiled.

“You better run, Uncle Derek. They’re gonna get you,” Stiles said mock-seriously, only barely keeping a straight face as Derek instead ran straight to the kids, making all sorts of comedic noises as they mobbed his legs.

Fuck, he was cute.

Stiles’ attention was pulled off of Derek as he felt eyes on him, subtly scanning the yard before he made eye contact with another adult in the family, who was very shirtless, and very sweaty, and very much walking toward them with a bright smile on his face.

Okay, Stiles was definitely getting a complex.

“You must be Stiles!” he exclaimed once he was closer to their little group, and Stiles had never been as thankful for a child as he was for the tiny body perched on top of the other males shoulders, because he was just about at his ‘hugging gorgeous people’ limit. He was still sweating, for fucks sake, but Stiles supposed that even a wolf got tired out when they had eight kids hanging from their body until Uncle Derek stepped in.

“I am, and…” Stiles was about to assume this was the firefighter sibling, but as soon as he opened his mouth, the kid on top of his shoulders smiled, and Stiles was absolutely smitten. “And who is this little guy?”

The distraction was apparently a welcome one, because shirtless dude’s smile grew even wider, reaching up to pat the kid on a mop of curly hair before he lifted him up and over, holding him at chest level. “This is Isaac. Isaac, can you say hi to Stiles? He’s your uncle Derek’s special friend.”

Stiles literally felt his heart melt as Isaac gave a shy little wave, looking up at him with big blue eyes. He couldn’t have been older than three or four, and Stiles smiled and waved back as Isaac was set down on the ground.

“You wanna go play with Uncle D?” Any hint of shyness was forgotten the moment the question was asked, taking off toward Derek as fast as his little legs could carry him, which… wasn’t very fast, but was very, very cute.

“They all yours?” Stiles asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked over to Derek, who now had at least six kids hanging off of him. He smiled as the other male shivered, shaking his head quickly.

“God no, just the three. Erica and Boyd, and Isaac too, now that the adoption has been finalized. Those kids basically run the joint, Derek included—as long as you don’t mind the occasional toddler mobbing, you’ll fit in just fine.”

“Thanks, random shirtless man, I really hope so.”

Stiles grinned as Laura choked on a mouthful of punch, the weirdness of the situation apparently just now visible to her as she sputtered, punching her brother in the arm. “Oh god, Taylor, what is wrong with you! Go put on a shirt, you can’t just—you didn’t even introduce yourself, I swear—Stiles is a guest, you weirdo!”

They kept bickering back and forth as Taylor pulled an undershirt on over his head, the whining turning into background noise as he poured himself a glass of punch. He knew perfectly well what Laura was trying to say—Stiles is a human—and he was pretty sure he was mostly flattered by everyone trying so hard, but any coherent thought left his head as he took a bite of the ribs, watching Nana Hale grin out of the corner of his eyes as he groaned in delight.

“God, they really do have Derek wrapped around their pudgy fingers,” Cora mused, and Stiles nodded his head, swallowing. It was honestly hilarious to watch Derek try to manage all those kids by himself; they seemed determined to pile themselves onto his head and shoulders, and he could almost see Derek sweat, trying to make sure he didn’t drop anyone as Isaac managed to wriggle his way into Derek’s grip.

He tilted his head in consideration, taking a sip of his drink before he spoke up.

“Yeah, he always did strike me as that kind of Alpha.”

He couldn’t help but savor the way the conversation ground to a halt around him, Laura and Taylor both sucking in a deep breath as Mark shattered the glass he was holding. There probably was a better way to acknowledge that he was in on the secret, but as funny as it was watching Derek’s siblings tiptoe around the fact, he figured it was best to rip the bandaid off in one go.

Even if it meant he had the attention of the Hales closest to him in one second, flat, Nana’s burning red from where she stood with a plate piled high with food.

He probably should have been nervous, but as he looked back at Derek, he could tell it was the right choice—Derek was all smiles, waiting only a beat before he popped his fangs and playfully snapped at one of his little nieces, the air soon full of squealing laughter once again.

Keeping his gaze even, Stiles smiled in thanks as he took the plate of food Nana offered to him, watching as her eyes melted back into their darker, human color. She was staring at him like he was a particularly complex puzzle, and she wasn’t alone—Cora looked hilariously outraged that she didn’t realize sooner, and even Mark was looking over him with renewed interest as his hand healed.

“I knew you were a smart boy. He told you?”

Nana’s question was accusing, but not unkind, and Stiles shrugged it off easily as he popped a chip into his mouth.

“He didn’t have to. My best friend was bitten when we were both fifteen. He didn’t have… anything, no alpha, no pack, just me and my mad Googling skills, and we’ve had plenty of supernatural run-ins over the years. Derek didn’t tell me because he didn’t have to tell me—I’m not anything special, but I’d like to think I can spot a non-human from at least fifty feet. Maybe more on a good day.”

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong.”

Stiles jumped as he heard Derek’s voice from behind him, and it truly was a credit to his poise and sophistication that he only blushed a little as Derek’s arm snaked around his waist. His body was warm, far warmer than it had been ten minutes ago, and Derek’s breath came a little heavy as he kissed the back of Stiles’ head.

“You are definitely something special.”

“You—you absolute cheeseball, what is wrong with you—” Stiles managed to get out as he shoved at Derek’s shoulder, his entire face burning red as Laura and Cora both gagged. Any residual awkwardness melted away as Nana’s sharp laugh cut through the air, the sound putting him back at ease as he leaned back into Derek’s warmth.

Somewhere between the fortieth round of storytelling and the gathering moving back into the house, Stiles needed a breather. Derek’s family was huge, and loud, and honestly, Stiles loved it—but it wasn’t long before he felt an itch beneath his skin, his fingers buzzing against his thigh, the muscles in his jaw a little too tight.

Stiles had expected Derek to be pretty popular in the family—what he didn’t expect, though, was that he would be anything more than an introduction and the same polite questions that everyone gave the new boyfriend.

“Wait, no fucking way did the two of you take down a Kanima, Stiles, I’m calling bullshit right now—“

Derek’s siblings were great, but they were also the worst; the minute they found out that Stiles had his own supernatural background, they were pestering him for stories, demanding his opinion of things, getting more and more exasperated with his entire life the more he shared.

Stiles knew that his life was crazy, okay? He didn’t need the constant reminders or the slack-jawed shocked expressions to reinforce that fact.

“Jesus, we didn’t even know that there were any wendigos in the state, and you knew an entire family of them?”

The only stories he flat out refused to talk about were the… issues he had had with hunters through high school—this was a party, after all, and he didn’t want to be the one to bring the vibe down by talking about the one time an assassin held a gun to his head to try and draw Scott out.

Fun times.

“What do you mean, you just know a banshee? And set her up with a hellhound? Dude, who are you?!”

Kissing Derek had, oddly enough, only exasperated the situation. In less than a day, they had gotten better at trading little affections back and forth; but instead of helping Stiles calm down, they only increased that thrumming nerves that bounced around at the base of his skull.

Which sucked, honestly, because kissing Derek was… really, really nice.

Stiles waited until another cousin who’s name he would never remember caught Derek up in a conversation about another tradition he couldn’t follow before he squeezed Derek’s hand, taking the opportunity to stand up from his spot on the couch and slip away.

The Hale House was huge, and outside was no exception; Stiles soon found himself on the porch, a huge wraparound wooden structure with built-in benches that let you enjoy the kind of view that made Stiles remember why he loved home so much. He treated himself to a few pictures of the sunset over Beacon Canyon before he flopped himself down on a bench, rubbing at his neck.

“Stiles? Everything alright?”

He had half expected Derek to follow him out after a few moments—but to his surprise, it was Nana Hale that sat beside him, her cheeks still pink with laughter as she tucked a jet black flyaway behind an ear.

“Is—oh, no, it’s great! Just wanted to, uh, snap a few pictures of the view.”

Another half truth—he was full to bursting with those lately.

“I know that our family can be… a little overwhelming,” she said, her tone even as she rose a brow, keeping her gaze forward as her fingers drummed a pattern into her knee.

Stiles hummed in agreement, his own smile a touch more genuine as he looked over to her. “Maybe, but that’s not a bad thing. When I was growing up, I spent so much time wondering what it would be like, to have siblings, and cousins, and… well, it might be a lot, but it’s a lot of love, too. I’m really glad Derek has that kind of support.”

Nana’s fingers stilled against her knee as she turned to face Stiles, and for the first time, Stiles was really able to get a good look at her properly. He could understand why she was the matriarch of the family, and how she had kept that title so long; even if he hadn’t witnessed her taking Mark down less than four hours ago, there was a whole other kind of strength that she was showing here, radiating off of her in waves.

“He does. But he doesn’t just have us for love and support... or was I reading the way you look at him wrong?” Her tone was teasing as she rose her brow, and Stiles felt his cheeks pink up spectacularly as he coughed, his eyes flashing back to the window for only a moment before Nana patted his knee.

“Don’t worry, the house is completely soundproof. Those nosy little pups can’t hear a word we say. Now tell me, how long have you been in love with my grandson?”

Now fully, beautifully red, Stiles groaned as he hid his face in his hands, Nana’s laughter ringing strong and clear as she stood up and walked toward the railing. “Oh don’t be so dramatic, I have no intention of spoiling that surprise until you’re ready to really woo him with it. And you’d better woo him! You know as well as I do that he deserves the romancing.”

Her tone softened as she chuckled, trailing off with a sigh and a sort of wistful smile as she shook her head. “New York has been good to him. You have, too, I think. California was… a rough part in his life.”

Something in the way she phrased it got the investigative side of his brain thrumming, his curiosity piqued as he remembered what Derek said on the plane.

‘I know they forgave me, but… sometimes it’s hard to be around them and still be okay with myself, you know?’

The nosy part of him wanted to pry, to dig a little more, but his eyes flicked back to the window again, where Derek and all four of his siblings were doing a terrible job at acting like they weren't trying to stare him down.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure he’ll tell me when he’s ready.”

Apparently, that was the right answer—Nana’s face softened again as she smiled, nodding her head, beckoning Stiles into standing up. She put her hand in the crook of his elbow easily, steering them back toward the house in a way that allowed no room for compromise.

“You are going to be good for my Der-bear, I know it.”

“Oh, I mean, I hope so. Derek deserves that, and I definitely—“

“Just let him be good for you, too.”

She reached up and patted Stiles cheek as he stared at her, dumbfounded, automatically opening the door for her as she walked back into the house. His expression was mirrored in the matching expressions of slack-jawed shock from all five Hale siblings, all staring at Stiles as Nana started in on another family story that would be sure to embarrass Mark, or Laura, or anyone who wasn’t Derek.

He meant what he said, of course. Derek deserved someone who would be good for him.

Somehow, that was the problem here.

—————

“Stiles, you reek of nerves. All I can smell is nerves and bell peppers. It’s not a good smell. Are you going to tell me what you’re freaking out about, or what?”

Stiles jolted as Derek called him out so effortlessly, pulled out of the trance he had fallen into as he watched Derek work, pushing around some of the barbecue from the night prior with some fresh chopped veggies into a delightful spur of the moment stir fry.

Derek was also as dressed down as Stiles had ever seen him, in a light grey henley and a dark pair of jeans, and that was even more delightful than the stir fry.

“Wait, you—that’s just something you can do? Oh god, your entire family must have known how nervous I was yesterday, did they—“

“Stiles. Breathe.”

Right. Breathing. He could do that.

…. maybe.

The truth was, Stiles could honestly say that he was having a great time back in Beacon Hills.

Derek and his family were great, no lie, and fake relationship aside, the researcher in him was absolutely thriving seeing how a huge, well-established pack worked with one another. They were literally a well oiled machine, the personification of the old ‘it takes a village’ metaphor, and the only thing that amazed Stiles more than how well they worked together was how well they adapted to Stiles being there.

Of course, he thought a big part of that came from having the Alphas on his side—not just Derek, but Nana too.

(“I can’t believe she hugged you,” Laura had hissed after yet another glass of infused punch. “When she met my last boyfriend, she threw him off the porch.”

“Well, Stiles is a fragile little human,” Taylor had snorted, ignoring the way Stiles smacked his arm, “and Hank was a major, prolapsed asshole.”

“Well yeah, but that’s not the point!”)

As great as Derek and his family was though, getting to come home and surprise his dad early… well, there was no place on the planet he would rather be than wrapped in a signature Stilinski hug, the kind of hug where you held on just a little longer than you needed to so you can pretend you definitely weren’t crying.

He got to watch a game with his dad, he got to sleep in his old, lumpy-ass childhood bed, he got to make breakfast in his mom’s kitchen.

So yeah. Great time.

Or at least, it had been, until a text rolled through after he kissed his dad goodbye that morning.

der-bear: Do you want to come over for lunch? Nana has everyone out of the house, Mom and Uncle Peter showed up this morning and he’s already driving everyone crazy.

sent: sure man. want me to bring anything? :)

der-bear: Don’t worry about it. Besides, I figure we should talk before the bonfire anyway.

And just like that, something brought around a cloud to rain on Stiles’ parade.

“Is it about tonight?” Derek asked, and if Stiles’ hadn’t been so laser focused on his cooking technique (his arms, okay, he was staring at Derek’s arms) he probably would have missed the way Derek hesitated when he asked, like he was afraid of the answer.

He picked himself up off of the barstool at the island in their gigantic kitchen, leaning against the counter closer to Derek, reaching in to pluck a chunk of onion out of the pan, skillfully avoiding the swat from Derek’s wooden spoon. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you… You know we’re looking forward to having you with us, right?” Derek asked, spooning some of the food onto two separate plates, using his claws to rip two fresh chunks of bread off of a loaf. “But if you don’t… I mean, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to be there if you don’t want to.”

Stiles frowned as he accepted one of the plates, pulling the smaller chunk of bread off of one of Derek’s claws, mulling his next words over. “As long as you want me there I’ll be there,” Stiles said slowly, because there really was no way to politely say that Stiles would rather throw himself into the sun before his mythical lore studying ass missed out on observing pack activity on a blue moon.

“Why would you think I didn’t want you there?” Derek asked, looking like he was offended at the very notion, sliding a fork to Stiles as he sat down at the countertop, that offended look only growing as Stiles snorted.

“I dunno, I thought you might have changed your mind about it. Dude, you sent me a ‘we should talk’ text. I’m no expert, but I know that nothing good follows a ‘we should talk’ text,” Stiles said around a mouth full of bread, but any degree of playful levity he had gone for was sapped out of his voice the moment he saw Derek look back down at his plate.

“That, uh. I do think we should talk, but not about that. Stiles, I...”

Ah, fuck. Derek’s ears were pink again, and for once, Stiles thought that was a bad thing.

Stiles did his best not to panic as he thought through things, wondering what he had fucked up, because he just knew he had fucked up a little something. Maybe he had come on a little too strong last night, maybe he had gotten too comfortable with his crush, maybe—

“I was thinking that maybe… we shouldn’t be faking this anymore.”

—or maybe, he had fucked up a whole lot of everything.

Stiles felt his heart sink through his shoes as he swallowed his bread, his appetite suddenly gone. He brushed his hands on his jeans, giving a few short nods, swallowing again as he pushed back from the table a little bit. He thought for a moment that he should argue against it, but Derek had a sad puppy expression splashed across his face, and Stiles wasn’t strong against that on a good day.

“Oh.”

He could feel Derek’s eyes tracking him as he started to move, standing up and starting an easy track around the kitchen, flexing his fingers before he rubbed his palm with his thumbs, an old habit he had thought he had kicked back when he graduated from Berkeley.

“I think, uh, maybe you should wait until you’re back in New York to tell your family?” Stiles started, missing the tiny smile on Derek’s face before it melted into a look of confusion. “You should tell them I broke up with you, not the other way around, I don’t mind being the bad guy,” he added, staring down at his hands.

“Wait, Stiles—“

“No, seriously, it’s fine,” Stiles interrupted, putting a smile back on his face, because he knew this was going to be coming at some point. Derek had made up their entire relationship, and Stiles had worked hard to remember that the reality of it was… that it wasn’t reality. He was the one with the inconvenient crush, he was the one who had gotten stupid. This was all on him, and taking the high road to bow out gracefully would be too.

Or, at least, it should have been. But Derek had abandoned his seat as well, halfway following Stiles in his trail around the kitchen, putting his arm out against a countertop to stop Stiles at a turn.

“I said I wanted to stop faking, Stiles.”

Hell, when had Derek gotten so close to him? Stiles blinked as he backed up against the counter, Derek’s arms closing him in, and suddenly he was getting an up close and personal look at Derek’s lips, and his eyes, and the way the blush was going back up his ears, and—

...why was Derek blushing?

“I never said anything about wanting you to leave.”

But why would Stiles be staying if… oh. Oh.

Realization dawned on Stiles’ face as Derek blushed and looked down, moving his hands a little bit closer against the counter, and Stiles felt a shiver run down his spine as he felt Derek’s thumb settle right along his hip. He had to clear his throat before he could speak, swallowing down the hope that was threatening to bubble over, chewing on his lip as he put one hand on Derek’s chest, the other gently tipping his head back to look him in the eye.

“Dude, if you’re saying what I think you’re saying, you gotta spell it out, I’ve had a crush on you for like forever and if I’m mis-reading this—”

“I told you. I’m your boyfriend, don’t call me dude.”

Stiles laughed again, elation making him feel light and giddy, finally breaking eye contact with Derek as he felt his own blush burn through the back of his neck.

“Stay, Stiles. You belong here. With me.”

Rather than even try to form a coherent response, Stiles dropped one of his hands, cheeks still a ruddy color as he looped a finger into one of the belt loops on Derek’s designer jeans, pulling him just that much closer.

“Derek?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Oh, thank God—"

—————

Yeah, Stiles thought hours later, still feeling the warmth of Derek’s smile against his lips as howls sounded off around the Hale House, moonlight swirling around him from the vantage point he had on the porch.

This was exactly where he belonged.

[whumpasaurus101]

Not Just a Pretty Face

Here's the second part to this ask!!!

master list / previous

also ty @happy-whumper and @milk-carton-whump for helping me to form words XD

CW: Brief talking of conditioned pets / cursing / mention of alcohol / mirror broken with head (mhmm, thats the only way i can think of phrasing that...) / if i missed anything just tell!!!!

Alicia fixed Jack's shirt collar, tucking the fold back down. As she took a second look she stepped closer, smoothing down the creases in his shirt and tie. She ruffled his hair with a smile, “Perfect.” Jack blushed at the compliment and dipped his head. Alicia’s hand ghosted over his cheek and gently pushed his chin up, “Hey, chin up, shoulders back. I need you to try and look tough for me baby, or else tonight wont go well, got it?” Jack licked his lips and gulped, “Y-yes ma’am.” Alicia tutted at the stutter and yanked on the leather collar, causing Jack to choke slightly.

She slowly put on her suit jacket and slipped on her high heel boots. She reapplied her dark red lipstick and smiled, “Let’s go.”

A taxi was in Alicia’s driveway, patiently waiting for them to get in. The man who drove it scared Jack. He was lean and muscular and had a tattoo of a teardrop on his left cheek. He gulped but Alicia shoved him into the back seat and slammed the door behind him.

Her high heels clicked as she walked up to the front door and got in. “Romeo, glad to see you, long time no see, eh?” Romeo chuckled, “Wish I could say the same. I mean really, a handler’s club?” Alicia smirked, looking out the window as the car drove away from the house, “I haven't been out in ages, Rodger’s been away for a while and I had to mind Jack and his little boyfriend.”

Romeo’s head tilted and he looked at Jack from the rear-view mirror, “Boyfriend?” Jack sunk in his seat and rested his head against the window, hiding his blush. “Jack, don't you want to talk about your little boy toy?” Alicia sneered. Jack shook his head, clenching his jaw.

Alicia chortled, “Fine, I will. You know Rodger’s mutt?” Romeo looked at Alicia, “Shit, I’ve missed a bit, haven't I? Rodger got a new pet? But it mustn't have been too long since his last-”

“No, it hasn't. He can't deal with loss, you know that.”

There was silence. Jack fiddled with his fingers as he focused on the vibrations the road sent to the car. He felt the window buzz against his temple and he slowly closed his eyes.

“Well your pet seems to be good, he’s still as quiet as ever.” Alicia chuckled, “Oh trust me, he’s loud when he wants to be! But I am grateful, you should see Rodger’s little mongrel, has a bad fucking attitude and a bold mouth.” Romeo chuckled, shaking his head, “I must say, I’m intrigued by him, maybe I should pay him a visit.”

Alicia cackled, fixing her hoop earrings, “Oh, now I would pay to see that, you’d have him broken in a week!” Romeo chuckled and smiled to himself, keeping his eyes glued on the road. Jack opened his eyes and looked out of the window, watching trees and bushes whizz by.

It was dark, the sky was a light grey, Jack flinched slightly as a droplet of rain hit the window. It slowly rolled down as Jack’s eyes followed it. Next came several others each making a *tink* sound as they each fell.

Romeo sighed and turned on the wipers. Alicia reapplied her eyeshadow and mascara in the windscreen mirror. She checked her watch and sighed, “Could you be driving any slower, for god’s sake.”

Romeo looked at her with one eyebrow raised, “Alright, I know you're stressed about going out since it's been a while, but lose the bitchiness, okay?” Jack gulped, how could he say such a thing to her, she must be livid!

To Jack’s surprise, Alicia laughed, “Alright, alright, sorry, is it that obvious?” Jack’s eyebrows furrowed, if it had been anyone else who had said that, they would've been dead in seconds.

“It's alright, I remember I used to get spooked before every club. Just walk in confidently, and make sure Jack does too. Sit at your own table, let people join you. Normally there’s live music so just focus on that until people come over.” Alicia nodded, taking a mental note. She then cleared her throat, hating how vulnerable she seemed in front of her pet.

“So, how are your pets doing?” Romeo chuckled, “Oh boy, they’re alright. We’re on about ten. Aiden’s trying to sell me another one but-” He blew the air out of his mouth, “-I don't think I can manage another one. Besides, they all have their own positions, the cooks, the cleaners, you know.”

Alicia nodded, “No, I get it. Aiden is just trying to get everyone to try and copy him with his ‘pet hotel’ shit.” “Hey, you can't say anything, you haven't tried it out, it’s actually quite useful.” “Oh, I don't need that, Jack does everything for me, isn't that right Jack?”

Jack felt his cheeks flush slightly, “Y-yes ma’am.”

“Jesus, it takes nothing for that boy to turn as red as a tomato,” Romeo commented. Alicia laughed and looked back at Jack, taking in how red his face had gotten, “He has always been like that, its quite entertaining.”

Romeo looked left then right before pulling out to a new road and he chuckled, “You know what would be funny?” Alicia looked up at him, a devilish smile painted on her lips. “A drinking game. Each time his face blushes even the slightest shade, we take a shot.”

Alicia let out a childish, giddy laugh, “Oh Romeo, I forgot how fun you are, that sounds perfect! Say, how far away do you live from this club?”

Romeo smiled, seeing where Alicia was going with this, “It's about a fifteen minute drive.” Alicia hummed, nodding her head, “What would you say to having two guests over tonight?”

Romeo beamed, “That would be great! Give me a call when you want to be collected, got it?” Alicia nodded, “Thank you again, and we’ll see after.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and left the car. Jack hadn't moved, he didn't dare to.

The rain had stopped by now, it had only been drizzling by then. Alicia opened the car door he had been leaning on and quickly caught him before he fell. “Jesus Christ, get your head out from the clouds baby, cmon!”

Jack scrambled to his feet and smoothed his clothes before Alicia gave out to him, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, shh, its okay, now, lets go.”

She linked arms with him and dragged him to the door of the quartz building. There was two body guards whos frowns both turned to smiles when they saw her, “Alicia! Its been a while, welcome!” One of them beamed. “Why thank you Joe, its great to be back.”

The second one gave a bigger smile and opened the door to the club, “Have a good night ma’am.” It didn't bother Jack that they were speaking to only Alicia and not him. But, if maybe one of them looked at him it would've been nice.

“Jack, sweetie, whats the matter?” Jack looked to alicia who lightly squeezed his arm tighter. Jack gulped, “N-nothing, I’m sorry ma’am.” Alicia frowned, “Alright, but don't forget, you should be grateful for tonight that I have brought you out!”

Jack winced at the sharp tone, “Yes, of course ma’am, I’m sorry. Th-thank you for bringing me out today.” Alicia smiled, “Good boy, now, I need you to be on your best behaviour tonight, there will be a lot of eyes on us.” “Yes ma’am.”

She opened the second door of the corridor and jazz music, clinking of glasses, laughter and chatter filled the room. Scared, pleading eyes shot up to meet with Jack. He quickly cast his eyes downward to the floor and let Alicia guide him to a free table.

Romeo was right. Alicia and Jack had only been sitting at an empty table only for several other handlers to join them only minutes later. Jack knelt obediently by Alicia’s side. Alicia combed her long nails through his curls and softly rubbed behind his ear. Jack closed his eyes in content, taking in the soft warm touch.

The other handlers were talking about their own pets and what they do. Alicia smiled and nodded, occasionally looking down at Jack, making her smile even more at how happy he looked.

Jack half listened to the conversations, there was one called Sandra, another called Ethan and the last one named Lorcan. Lorcan also looked at Jack. By then Jack had his eyes opened, they were still glued to the floor. His head tilted towards Alicia as she used more of her nail.

Once Jack glanced up at Lorcan, the man chuckled, shaking his head. Jack clenched his jaw, what had he done wrong?

“Well, you seem to have a broken pet,” He sneered, Alicia chuckled, “He was a runaway. His previous owner was well-known to be the ‘strict’ kind.” Jack shuddered as his memories of Abraham came back to him, he could never go back there. Never.

“Well, is he useful at all?” Lorcan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Oh yes, he’s not just a pretty face. He’s great company, he can read, write, clean, cook, talk, be quiet, everything!” Jack felt his ears turn hot.

“Hmm, so he’s good around the house?”

“Mhmm.”

Lorcan nodded slowly. He reached for the drink and just as he brought it to his lips, he dropped it to the ground right in front of Jack who immediately flinched back, pressing himself against Alicia with a whimper.

“If he’s so good, make him clean this mess up.” Jack looked at Alicia who thought for a moment before looking at Jack, you heard him, clean it up.” Jack gulped and whined once he felt Alicia’s touch leave.

“M-ma’am, I don't- I don't have anything to clean it up with!” Lorcan smiled, “Do you mind if I take him for a moment, I know where we can get something to clean it up with.” Alicia’s eyebrows furrowed, “Alright, just dont take long.”

Lorcan faked a smile and roughly grabbed Jack by the hair and dragged him over to the bathrooms. Jack yelped and tried to pry the hands out of his hair but it was impossible, “Please, l-let go of me!!” Lorcan snickered, “So the bitch speaks!” Jack -ignoring the insult- let out a yell as his grip tightened.

He was thrown to the ground once they had entered the bathrooms. Jack felt a droplet of blood slowly drip down his forehead, slowly making its way down to his brow. “Get up.” Jack groaned and shook his head. Lorcan muttered something under his breath and yanked Jack up by the arm and smashed him up against the mirror, making Jack bang his head against the mirror.

He let out a cry and felt the glass shatter beneath his skull. He let out a scratch of pain which was soon muffled by Lorcan’s sweaty palm. “Shut the fuck up!” Jack continued to scream, desperate for help. Who was he kidding, he was in a handler’s club, no one was going to save him.

Lorcan brought him forward only to slam his head back against the cracked mirror once more. Jack felt his vision start to slip, his head felt numb and heavy. The pain was excruciating but it was the only thing he could focus on at the moment.

Alicia heard the screams. At first, she thought it was just some other pet but as a second wave of muffled screams came, she recognized them. Jack! She leaped from her seat and ran to the bathroom door. She kicked it open and punched Lorcan straight in the face. Lorcan stumbled back, clutching his face. “Don't touch him! I thought you were going to get something to dry up the mess!”

She softly put her arm around Jack’s shoulders and guided him behind her. “Oh come on,” Lorcan scoffed, “Why do you think we came in here?” Jack watched the vein in Alicia’s neck pop, she was livid. It made Jack feel good though, she cared about him!

“I swear to god, if you touch my boy ever again without my permission I will fucking kill you!” Lorcan just chuckled, shaking his head, “I think you better go.” Alicia clenched her jaw, “Oh, I’ll go when I want to go.” She took out her phone and held it to her ear.

Lorcan rolled his eyes and folded his arms, “And who are you ringing?”

“Romeo, Romeo Zalis.”

Lorcan immediately paled, “Y-you're bluffing.” Alicia raised her eyebrow as a challenge. The ringing stopped, “Alicia, are you okay?” Lorcan recognized the thick Brooklyn accent and gulped, “I uh, need to go.” Alicia smirked and her eyes followed him as he left.

“Yes, although not great people here, think you can collect us early?” Romeo chuckled, “Of course, I’m in a cafe nearby, I shouldn't be too long.”

“Perfect, thank you. Also, I could really do with that drinking game right now.”

Taglist: @likeit-or-whumpit @milk-carton-whump @yesthisiswhump @as-a-matter-of-whump @appy-polly-loggies @happy-whumper @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @myst-in-the-mirror

if you wanna be added or removed just say!! <3