#(because I'm remote today so I can swear)

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

🎵I love sending Passive Aggressive emaAaills

Cus I'm not allowed to say "Listen here ya dumb fuck"🎵

[ressonancee]

IS THIS TOO MUCH?

When Mingyu helps you up with your boxes, you don't think too much of it, really, but when he shows up in the hall with a kid in his arms - something changes.

✦ KIM MINGYU - f!reader

✦ Genre: neighboors-to-lovers, daddy!Mingyu (slightly), angsty (slighlty), smut (minors don't interact), a little bit of health problems, oral sex (f! receiving), unprotected sex (don't do this at home), reader has a few insecurities so keep that Mingyu.

✦ word count: 11k+

✦ Title inspired by Carly Ra Jepsen - Too much.

✦ Thea note: Mingyu is so boyfriend coded I want to punch a wall, lately been thinking about daddy!mingyu a lot and how that would look like, but also Mingyu is not an easy character I swear this was a struggle, but here it is - and of course, it has a pussy drunk mingyu scene. Also thanks again @ni-aaaaaaa for helping me with this one 🫶

Moving is hard. Moving places is hard. Moving places almost across the country is harder.

So here you are - struggling to hold the elevator and a load boxes, but then he arrives - a knight in shiny armor or just a fit guy in gym clothes and sweats.

"Do you need help with that?" he asks pointing to the boxes.

"Hi, hm -" You start, and you want to be the crazy strong independent lady who doesn't need help, you listened to Destiny Child for fuck sake, you can pay your bills and load your boxes on the goddamn elevator, but you are so freaking tired. It's the second round of boxes and you will probably need to do more and drive to hand over the moving truck, but all you need and truly want is to take a shower, get rid of the sweat, and lay down with arms and legs open on your bed like you are a starfish. But then you remember, did you pack the body soap in the backpack? Suitcase? Boxes n 03 with bathroom-related things? And the bed sheets? Fuck.

"Do you have more or?" The nice guy with strong arms and gym clothes asks already lifting the three boxes at once, putting them in the elevator and stepping in the elevator door and letting you in.

"I have a few more in the truck but-" You click on the fourth floor button.

"Oh" He says pointing at the button and at you. "We’re neighbors, nice. You’re probably in the Mrs Smith apartment, right? Lovely lady, it was nice that her daughter took her in after she moved." The guy continues and you don't quite follow but hey, he is already unloading and leaving the boxes at the 03 door so you gonna take all the help. "Do you want to put them in or do you want to pick up the other boxes on the truck?"

"You don't actually need to-" You ask trying to be a polite neighbor and not a pushover, but Mr. Nice Guy and nice arms cuts you off.

"Oh don't worry, I didn't do back or arms today, if I don't need to squat too much it's alright" He says, big smile gracing his face as he tilts his head and, oh god ,he is quite hot and he is just so nice and big all over and you’re way too tired so you don't want to take the last few boxes and do a fourth trip to the garage when you can do just two - maybe one if the nice guy with big arms lift more than you think in his everyday trip to the gym. So, you just accept, because he could do what your noodles arms could never: lift more the two boxes at once.

"Look,” You say tidying the boxes near your door because you are a good neighbor and you don't want someone to trip in the hall because of you. "I'm very grateful, and I drove for like, more than ten hours, so I'm taking all the help I can get. And I don't know your diet but I'm so buying pizza after this so if you want you can joy. Like paying for all your service with a half of pizza."

So that's how you end up with nice-guy-strong-arms-buff-chest in your new apartment and learn that his name is actually Kim Mingyu and that he’s a software engineer and that he mainly goes to the gym to see people otherwise he would not get out of the house because he works remotely. So you also give your resume-of-life talk that you worked on rehearsing in that ten hour drive - needed to change cities because working on research isn't easy, new PhD in town, works on gender studies, and has a side hustle with a nonprofit.

"Oh, so you are smart smart,” Mingyu replied with a mouth full of pizza, trying to wash it down with coke.

"Nah,” You reply in the same situation. "Dumb enough to go into humanities actually.”

"Hey! That's nothing wrong with humanities," He says. "Once I wanted to be an archeologist - that goes into humanities, right?"

"I don't really know, probably?"

And you and Mingyu guy don't really turn into friends per se - and that's mainly your fault. He’s easy going and always talks to you in the elevator or hall when you’re going to the university and he’s going to the gym. He tells you to knock on his door for a movie, tells you that you both can go to a coffee shop nearby, and tells you that he knows nice restaurants, but you never quite follow his ideas.

You could say that it was because of your routine.  Kind of excruciating; you had a few classes to actually teach, research to plan and execute, and because you were the new one in the department, all the extra winter and summer courses to plan and teach was your obligation. Yey new job!

But the actual reason is that, yes, you are overloaded with your new job, and with the new city, and with new everything. So, when Mingyu asks you just can't bring yourself to actually do it. Part of you thinks he is just being nice, just trying to be friendly, he does have that kinda puppy energy going around him - too big, too excited, too much all over the place and knocking into everything. But part of you is scared that Mingyu nice-guy-all-over might be trying something with you that you can't actually handle right now. 

Because sometimes you catch how Mingyu looks at you - eyes lingering.. And God, this works wonders to your self-esteem. Once, when you actually wore your gym clothes and he was in his jeans for a change, you could see him visibly gulping on the hallway. He asked why he never saw you at his gym, you answered the only way possible, you don't go to the gym, you are one of the runs at the park lunatics, and he said it was a pity really, maybe he can start running and going to the park.

Or that time when you had to go to a nice dinner - fundraising and meeting people was the worst part of the job, but hey, you needed the money and the funds to go around interviewing women in politics across the country, so you put the nicest black dress you had and a pair of high heels. And when you leave the house, you scream to the person in the elevator to wait and do the silliest run in those shoes and it was Mingyu – dressed joggers and hair ruffled, contrasting to your polished appearance. "Hot date?" he asked in a small voice head tilting to look at you because even with your highest heels, he was still taller. "I wish, work, and you?" You answered. "Bad day.  Gonna pick up some beer." And you left the elevator just to see Mingyu ogling at your ass and getting flustered because of it.

So maybe when he asked you out you always brushed over, never actually said no. But you never said yes either. Because even though you were actually trying to handle all the other things in your life and a relationship did fall into the 'not-now-category' or in the 'probably-will-make-me-insane', you liked having Mingyu there, in the back of your mind, filling up your fantasies and what-ifs. It may be a bitch move, but it was what you could handle right now, because really, handling the new job, in a new city, basically friendless, and almost crying at your kitchen table, because one of the students needed a week extension and that alone was almost driving you insane. 

So having Mingyu on the back of your mind was the only thing you could handle right now. Mingyu and his big hands, strong arms and his nice fucking smile, and oh god, he did smell good. Your mind could - and would - wonder when you both got together on that dumb elevator and how you want to climb him like a goddamn tree. And sometimes you let your mind wander and think how everything would go if you said yes. If you went to a nice restaurant, what would happen? Would everything go smoothly and you end up on his sheets? Or yours? How would it feel having Mingyu in your bed? You have all the questions and none of the answers.

So, when you see Mingyu with a mini-Mingyu at his side, arms full of bags, and struggling to close his kid’s coat, you get a little mind blown. You think a little and Mingyu never actually talked about having a son or a daughter you couldn't really tell, and then you blame yourself maybe he didn’t say anything because you never said yes. You never went to the nice restaurant or the coffee shop. And then it fucks you up a bit, because what else do you not know about him - maybe silly things like what is his favorite food? What movies does he like? What in his binge-watch list?

Did Mingyu get married? He’s probably divorced - you think - because you never saw that kid before so mini-Mingyu didn’t live with Big-Mingyu, and also you never saw a woman and you think that if Mingyu was married he would not be looking at your ass in every step of the way down to the garage - or at least you hope not. Oh god, you don’t want to be a homewrecker, but then again, Mingyu doesn’t look like the guy who would do that: hit on you if he was in a relationship. Then it dawns on you, maybe, maybe he was just being friendly.

Right?  

But when Mingyu picks mini-Mingyu in his arms, still with too many bags and gives you a big, warm smile, you almost freeze.

“Hey,” He says clicking the elevator’s button. “Going to the Uni?” He asks as you go to his side, Mini-Gyu’s big eyes on your face - so you just give the little kid your best smile.

“Yep, one professor is out of town so I have a few extra classes this week to teach the kids the joy of classical sociology,” You say eyes leaving Mini-Gyu and actually going to Big-Gyu, and your mind gets fucked up a bit, because one, how do genes work? That kid is actually Mingyu's carbon copy and of course, you have not stepped in biology classes in a few years - but you are pretty sure that cloning is not yet allowed - maybe you should check it out in the ethics committee or something. Maybe Mingyu is committing some kind of crime.

“Nice,” And Mingyu finally looks at the kid who is still staring at you. “This is Minseok.” He says kind of rocking the kid up and down trying to adjust the begs on his shoulder. “Minseok and I are going to the park for a picnic date, aren't we, Minseok?” But Minseok doesn't actually answer, Minseok just hides his face on Mingyu’s shoulder, looking a little shy and you smile because he looks like he just got caught staring.

“Do you need help or?” You ask seeing how Mingyu continues to struggle.

“Nah, this little guy will just walk. He is just being shy he doesn’t know how to act in front of pretty girls,” And you can actually feel the pink in your cheeks and now you quite understand Minseok and the urge to hide. And maybe, maybe Mingyu is hitting on you in every damn elevator trip.

"Poor baby," You coo and you can actually see Mingyu's legs giving up a little and picking himself up. Minseok looks at you, hand closed in your direction, you give him an open palm and he shyly drops a little sticker. "Oh! Thank you very much," You say hand closing against your chest, analyzing the little Pikachu sticker.

"Oh god, I'm raising a womanizer," Mingyu says ruffling the kid’s hair. "Did you already feel in love with noona?" Mingyu asks Minseok and strokes his pink cheeks with his massive hands. You actually can't figure out Minseok's age, is he tiny? Or it is Mingyu that is bigger than the average person?

"I'm old enough to be his auntie, Mingyu." You say actually putting the little sticker in your bag. And for once you are the one that holds the elevator door for Mingyu and the scene looks so domestic that makes your heart clench a bit. You don’t even want a kid, you don’t even know if you are ready for it, but why does Mingyu with little Minseok in his arms make you feel jealous? Jealous of the person that you don’t even know, someone who doesn’t even have a face in your imagination.

"Nah, pretty girls are always noona," Mingyu says and you can feel how your cheeks are turning pink because you feel them hot.. "Anyway, good luck with the classes. We would actually invite you over for our little picnic date but I guess you’re a busy girl."

"You know the real professor is always on my ass, Mingyu." You say heading towards your car.

"Well," Mingyu says finally letting Minseok on the floor, Minseok’s hands tiny on Mingyu's and your heart kinda swells because it is a heart warming picture really. Because you know Mingyu is a fine ass man, with a nice personality paired with a mindblowing body, and he just looks like such a father with Minseok on his hand, well it didn't help that Minseok was the cutest kid you ever laid your eyes on, even though he looked a little shy, a little sad. "You know I am always free, so you can hit me up anytime."

So, when you are talking about how Marx and Weber see the society and the conflicts in it you can't quite stop thinking about Mingyu and Minseok and you could actually cry.

Cry, because you somehow, even with all that Mingyu said to you and all the little flirtatious jabs going on you feel like you lost an opportunity. But at the same time, you want to cry because the relationship gets more complicated if a child is evolved. You may be a bitch over the fact that maybe you lead Mingyu on without actually saying no, but a child? You can't lead a child on, you can’t just kiss-kiss peck-peck your neighbor and say hi to Minseok, or even worse, you can’t start a relationship with Kim Mingyu and then break up with Kim Mingyu after being involved in Minseok’s life. You can’t picture going every weekend to the park and then just vanishing because your life is too busy and the relationship doesn’t quite work. You think that you may be a bitch and break Mingyu’s heart - even though you don't think he’s crazy in love with you to you actually break his heart, but you couldn’t break Minseok because his big eyes and small pout is too cute.

And you want to cry because Mingyu is hot. You noticed that when he picked your boxes and his arms bulged against his sleeve. You have eyes so you can see, every time you see him really, or going to the gym, or in his lounge clothes, or when he is a little bit tidy but still in not formal clothes, you stop a little and you think you never actually saw Mingyu going on a date, or in formal wear. And now it makes sense: having a kid doesn’t actually make dating easier.

But now you see another side of him. Mingyu is endearing, he is cute and you suspect that he could treat you well. He looks reliable, he has a good job, and he is a nice guy. But all that went to a new level when he had a kid in his arms, it made you twitch a little. The way that he looks at the kid in his arms makes your heart inflate like a damn balloon and makes you think about all the other things that you don't know about Mingyu, all the little secrets, all the gaps in his personality.

And oh damn. You had a new problem on your hands. Cute dilf Mingyu was the problem.

So, when you and Mingyu see each other in the hall, you breathe deeply. Afraid to say you are a little relieved when Mingyu is kid-less, but still hot in his gym clothes.

"Park today?" Mingyu asks with a gym bag in his hand.

"Yeah, I'm almost near my 10km mark so I'm pushing it a little bit." You say self-conscious tugging on your clothes, fixing your leggings and top. Fuck, maybe you should've put that baggy shirt on. Why the hell you got out of the house looking like a crazy lady without even brushing your hair? Ok, you said to yourself that the run was the last thing before washing your hair and putting a mask on it, but still, you knew that Mingyu was always in the hall.

"Nice. I heard about the run, right? Some people at my gym are going." Mingyu says eyes still on you, making you twitch. And you know is not Mingyu’s fault.  He;’s always like that - he looks at you, pays attention, not even once you felt like you were not being heard when you were talking to him, not even when you were bitching because someone left the trashcan open.

"Oh god no, I'm not even close to the run’s entry level." You say tongue itching against your mouth. Mingyu has that quality really, he makes you curious and he makes you bold and afraid at the same time. But even if your mind says no, you still go for it. "So, no Minseok today?"

"Ah," Mingyu scratches his neck, almost shy, almost. "No, he is with his mom, the little guy was sick and had a few days off so no school for him, that's why he was so shy he was actually moody, but he liked you enough to give you his treasured Pikachu sticker."

"Oh yes." You actually pick up your phone and show Mingyu, and you feel a little silly but every time you see the Pikachu behind it makes you smile. "It’s not a sticker anymore, it evolved in the lucky charm category."

"Oh" Mingyu says looking at you and at your phone with an endearing look on his face that you couldn't quite puzzle. "That's actually cute."

"I mean," you shrug.

"Well, I gonna tell him that you treasure his Pikachu. It's not like he doesn’t already have a big crush on you." Mingyu teases looking at you like he wants to see every little reaction, like he wants to put the puzzle of you together like every detail matters.

"Stop, he was just being cute and polite you should be proud." You shove Mingyu but he doesn't even bulge. Damn, he was strong.

"Oh I am, but that's not polite, that's his love language, he even talked about you to his mom." Mingyu says eyes still on you, and you think for a second how funny it is, that he actually makes you feel this way, make you feel opposite worlds at the same time, makes you want to run and hide but and makes you want to stretch and bath of every ray of attention he gives you. "And he calls you elevator noona."

"Nooooooo," you say feeling pretty good that you stole the kid's heart in one elevator trip, Minseok was easier to win over than Mingyu.

"Yeeeees," Mingyu mocks you, and again he looks shy but Mingyu is not a shy person so that makes you think, makes you ponder. "Actually, he is going to be around for a few days so if you want to go to the park or-"

"Are you free today?" You ask, and you can see Mingyu's eyes bulge, his face making sure that you know that he is not understanding what you meant.

"Hun?" He says, head moving almost like a dog.

"Today, are you free? I mean I know that you are going to the gym, but we can go to that coffee shop you said and just chat a little." When the elevator stops, Mingyu, like always holding the door for you.

"Oh, hm-" He looks at his bag, then at the elevator door closing, then at you.

"Don't worry,” You say trying to soothe him, hands gesturing and all. “It was dumb to ask when I know you have plans, we can rain-check it."

"No, no, just-" Mingyu start to pat himself searching for his phone, chest, then front pocket, then back pockets, then looking at his bag. "Let me just call Chan and tell him I'm not going to the gym."

"Noooo," You feel so silly that you almost stomp your feet on the ground like a child. "You can go, we can just meet up or rain-check it, don't worry, you always understand when I'm too busy so-"

"Noooo," He copies you. "I’ll tell Chan that I'm doing cardio today," He starts typing on his phone. "I’m doing so much cardio in the park, running is the best exercise ever."

“Now, you’re just mocking me,” You say trying to push him again but this time he pretends you are strong enough to make him move.

“Nah, not doing anything.”

Mingyu doesn't make a big deal of changing plans - which is so weird to you, a planner and an avid checker of to do-lists. The only detour he needs is to stop at his car because he can't run with his gym bag. And that's how you end up running with Mingyu, and even though you have a good pace, Mingyu's legs are just way too big, so you always end up getting a little behind.

And again, Mingyu is so caring and nice that sometimes he dashes off but when he sees you are not following his pace he stops a bit, running in place waiting for you with a big smile. Damn, you are fucked because you feel like every time Mingyu smiles, a halo of sunshine forms against his figure. You knew he was pretty, you knew he was handsome, and you knew he was hot, but now you know that he may be mother's nature favorite and that is just unfair.

Mingyu has long legs, but you have endurance, so when he is almost dying you are good to go - maybe not so good, but you can keep going for a few more kilometers.

"See you could totally go for the run. You can take a lot more than I do." Mingyu says panting, hand on his waist, bending over.

"Nah, that would make running serious and with a goal, that ruins the fun." You say fixing your hair, tying it in a high ponytail again.

"Sometimes I wonder how your mind works," Mingyu says, seriously, making you stop in your tracks, making your head tilt, and actually look at Mingyu who looks like he is trying to puzzle you. "You say things like that and the way you think is so-" He trails off again, looking at his feet, then at everything but you. "The way you think gives me a new perspective on things."

And you could almost cry. Because at the same time, you feel so seen yet vulnerable. You feel more naked than when you are actually naked with some random guy. And you breath so deeply, because sometimes you run laps just to keep things hidden, you go through mental gymnastics trying to keep things under the rug. And it clicks in your head. Maybe that's why you avoid Mingyu, that's why you always say no because to him, you are so easy to read that actually scares you. So, you do the best you can, avoid.

"Ok Mingyu, you called me weird and now you are paying for coffee," you say storming off in front of him.

"I did not call you weird, don't put words in my mouth," He grins, again next to you because of his long legs. You almost think about kicking him in the shin and storming off. "What I am saying is that we are very, very different."

"And that's a bad thing?" You ask self-conscious, feeling your body actually shrink.

"It's not bad, it's different," Mingyu says opening up the door for you. "We think differently, that's all."

"A latte please and a-" You ask Mingyu.

"A latte and an Americano," Mingyu says.

So, you both get your drinks and sit on a pretty outside table per your request. The weather is good enough for it.

"That's what I am talking about," Mingyu says with a sip. "When I am all sweat what I want is to just be inside with the AC on, you prefer to sit outside."

"I'm sweat I feel sticky in the AC." You shrug.

"You see, I feel sticky outside," he responds.

"Do you want to go inside we can-" you say already picking up your drink and getting up when you feel Mingyu's hand on your arm.

"What I am saying is that we are different." Mingyu gives you a soothing smile. "I am data-driven, you lean towards contexts. I need goals, clear goals, otherwise, I feel unmotivated, but you feel like goals take away the fun. We are different and that's nothing wrong with that, so maybe that's why I feel so interested in you."

"I'm not that interesting," you say, taking only a sip to buy more time. Actually, I'm boring."

"See, you can't take a compliment either! I love compliments, just could play a 24h audio just praising me." Mingyu says shamelessly, making you laugh.

"Yeah, I'm not good on that but I'm serious. Like, there’s not much going on here." You say pointing to yourself.

"Oh, like the poets said, if you could see yourself though my eyes," Mingyu says making you blush and look away.

"Don't say things like that." You complain, pouting like a kid.

"Oh, come on," Mingyu’s smile is big, and you see that he’s enjoying making you shy, making you embarrassed. "It's not like it’s not clear that I'm into you, I even asked you out and you were the one that dumped me."

"I didn't dump you," You say almost kicking his shin below the desk, not because you want to but because you almost had a Pavlovian reaction. "I never said no and I'm truly busy."

"Not saying no is not the same as saying yes. I know that I'm being a little pushover, but I am a simple guy. I don't see why hide that I’m into you or find you hot and interesting. And I know that you know that, and I also know that you are not into me so" He shrugs. "It's not a big deal really."

"I-" You start but you almost freeze. "Fuck, I'm so bad at this," You say to Mingyu giving him your best I'm So Sorry Smile "Look I'm not good at this, I don't flirt, and honestly small talk almost kills me. And I gonna sound like such a bitch, but it's me it's not you?" You say again giving Mingyu that smile, searching for any trace of reaction on his face "You are a nice guy and you are funny, and god you are so good looking like almost unreal good looking -" And you laugh because Mingyu is liking the shower of praises, he is enjoying every step of the way like he said he did. "But, I feel like I'm not that ready, all the changes is making me freak out and it is making me so unsure and I need time to put myself up, and I can’t ask for you to wait-"

"Oh, I’m so waiting," Mingyu says, leaning on the chair, crossing his legs and arms and looking so smug.

"I cannot ask you for that because I don't even know when I will feel ready and-" You continue, behaving like Mingyu didn't say a thing.

"Once a week," He says still looking smug it makes you stop in your tracks.

“Huh?”

"Once a week, we can see each other once a week. It can be a date in a nice restaurant, it can be run, it can be a trip to the market, anything really, just-" Mingyu breathes changing positions, and taking a sip of his coffee. "If you don't feel ready or don’t want me like that I will understand and if doesn't work out at least we can be friends, like you said I’m a nice guy."

And that's how you end up entering in Mingyu's life and letting Mingyu enter yours. That's how you end up on Mingyu's sofa, two weeks later, on a Friday night, chilling, Mingyu's head on your lap, fingers threading through his soft hair, paying more attention to him than the movie really. And that’s because Mingyu was kissing you before you two chose the movie. He kissed you against his door, and gave you a peck when you put your bag on his table, and he kissed you again on the sofa, make you whimper because the way he is holding your hips. But he is a nice guy, and you said you were not ready for all that, so he goes back to his good guy persona and lays on the couch, head in your lap, leg almost entirely off the couch.

And then his phone rings and rings, so Mingyu breathes deeply and annoyed, because who dares disturb his head-rubbing time and sits up.

"Hey," Mingyu says and his face changes so fast you can almost feel in the air "Okay okay, just-" he says already getting up and doing his back pocket tap that he always does to go out. "Okay, just give him some Tylenol, ok? I’m already on my way, I can call when I'm about ten minutes away so you can go down, ok? It’ll be faster."

He stops to look at you. And he looks so afraid that you just know it is about Minseok.

"It’s ok. Go." You say because it is, the change of his demeanor says is something important.

"Fuck," Mingyu says, hands going to his hair and tugging it "It’s just Minseok. We just found out he has Crohn's disease and he is having a flare up. We need to take him to the hospital, he is down with a fever so it’s not a good sign and I should go really."

"I can drive," You say getting up as well.

“Oh no, no you can stay really finish the movie, you can totally feel at home, you can cook something or shit-"

"Mingyu," You say searching for his hand, big against yours. "You are shaking." And you can almost feel the energy trapped inside him, making him tremble all over. "Hey it's gonna be OK, Minseok is gonna be fine. I just need you to calm down. I’ll drive and everything will be OK. Minseok needs you calm."

"Ok, ok. Thank you."

So you guys storm off. You guys ended up in Mingyu's car, you fixing up his car seat and his rear view mirror to make comfortable to you. And every time you stop on a red traffic light you check Mingyu out, breath still fast enough for you to notice, face full of worry. And in that moment, you think you care so deeply about Mingyu, because seeing him like that is making your heart break in tiny little pieces.

Because Mingyu is just not like that. To you, Mingyu is always warm, always full of energy. He’s like a warm soft blank that has just enough weight so you can feel grounded on your bed. Mingyu is a night sky - big but so full of stars, those same stars bright enough to guide you home.

When you finally arrive at Minseok's place you see the little guy in his mother's arm and that makes your heart break all over again. You see Mingyu open the door for them, and he goes to the other side putting Minseok in his little chair, the woman doesn't even look at you, her full attention on Minseok, but still you feel uneasy. Out of place. You feel like you are barging in in a scene that is not yours, like an extra ruining the shoot. But then Mingyu is at your side again, hands on your thigh, big in contrast, and you feel his warmth and assurance, so you just drive.

At the hospital, everything seems kind of hectic, and you again feel out place again, asking yourself if you should be there. In your mind, you know you did the best of the situation: you helped Mingyu, and that should be enough. But emotionally, you feel so damn invisible in it all, and that makes you feel even worse because it makes you feel so egoistic. For God's sake, a child is sick needing a hospital and here are you feeling like you need to cry because fuck you feel out of place? Feeling pathetic about it makes you want to cry too.

So, when you and Minseok's mother are side by side, coffee in hands and Mingyu on the loose searching for food, you want to just get up and leave without giving a proper explanation, but you think you need to be a reasonable adult.

"You see…" Minseok's mother starts. "Mingyu never brought a girl home." And you kinda feel strange what she is saying but hey her kid is on the hospital, she may be going crazy. "I never actually even saw one of his girlfriends, ever."

"Oh, I’m not his girlfriend, we’re just friends." You start, but the taste of the phrase feels weird against your tongue.

"Yeah," She laughs, and you know she is laughing at you, which makes everything worse. "I know my brother and I know how he looks to someone." She says, holding her head, elbows on her own thighs, and she looks so so tired, and that too, makes you want to cry. "But I’m glad that you are here. I may not seem glad because my kid is right now on a hospital bed, but-" she says laughing again, and now you are not so sure why she is laughing, she looks so exhausted she is almost out of it. "But since Minseok's father passed away Mingyu is just giving his all you know? He bends over backwards for us. He picks Minseok on school when I can’t get out of the work on time, he was the one who could actually take care of Minseok the last time he went to hospital because I was too damn busy, and he actually cooks for us and he just goes to my home to leave side dishes. He is doing more than he should. He is doing what a father should be doing." She says and you hear her heart breaking, you almost see the blood, because she is so transparent, so worried, so sorry, and all that don't make sense in your head. "What I’m trying to say is that my little brother is precious, so if you fuck up, I might kick your ass."

"I thought he was-"

"Minseok's father? I know I gave birth to a mini version of my brother, but like, it's a little screwed up you didn’t know. Maybe you guys should work on your communication."

And that stays on your mind. Stays on your mind when it gets too late to get an Uber so Mingyu insists on you driving his car back because ubers can be weird and unsafe. Stays on your mind when he doesn't text you. Stays on your mind when you are at university, yet again lecturing about sociology classics and some passionate kids are debating about communism, and you can't even make yourself worry that you are not that older than the people you call kids. Stays on your mind when you arrive home and you can't quite bring enough courage to knock on Mingyu's door.

But then two days after the whole not-Minseok-daddy’s fiasco, Mingyu is at your door. Looking like a truck just hit him, the same clothes from a few days, body a mess, and you suspect that mind too. So, you let Mingyu in, guide him to your shower, go to his home pick up his clothes, and you roll your sleeve and start making Mingyu dinner. You are not a good cook, and Mingyu is certainly better than you, but still, you try your best. It’s what you’ve been doing all your life really.

You are putting garlic and onions in the pan when you feel Mingyu's arms going around you. He puts his forehead on your shoulder, and you can smell your soap’s scent on his skin.

"I'm sorry I vanished."

"It's okay it must have been tough. I understand."

"I know you do, and I'm very thankful for that but-" Mingyu turns his head to your neck, and you can feel his smell you and his hot breath against it. "I still shouldn't have done it. It was a dick move. You were also worried."

"Yeah, but it’s okay. Is he okay?" You say lowering the fire.

"Yeah, he is already talking about how his mom should give him a better cellphone so he can play Pokémon go at the hospital because everything is so boring."

"See? He’s okay. Minseok is fine." You say turning and giving Mingyu a hug, his head going again to your neck, almost rubbing himself on you.

"Yeah, we just need to pay more attention to his diet." He says still bending to hug you.

"See, Minseok is fine, but you don't look so good sir, so let me treat you to a nice, homemade meal." You say giving his butt a little tap because one more second in Mingyu's and everything will be burned in the pan.

"What I did do to deserve you?"

"A lot of things, Gyu, a whole lot of things."

Mingyu eats, and it seems to improve his energy a bit because he insists on watching a movie with you, even tho you know he looks like he may fall asleep at every minute - he didn't actually sleep soundly for two days and you said that to him, but, being the stubborn guy he is, he still insists. So you two end up in your bed, bodies tangled, Mingyu's head on your chest, your fingers going through his hair - he favorite thing in the whole world he says and that makes your heart bloom, full of tiny little flowers.

You wake up in a different situation. Mingyu's body now pressed against your back, his thigh big against yours, and his hand splayed against your other thigh. Mingyu's strong arms around you, and he is warm against you and surprisingly soft. You squirm a little trying to change position until you can face Mingyu, face soft and peaceful.

And fuck.

Maybe you don't just care about Mingyu.

Maybe, just, maybe you have fallen in love with him. Maybe now, after having him on your bed, you will continuously think about how you want to wake up in his arms. Maybe you will continuously think about how you want to be Mingyu's shelter, how you want to be the place he comes back to when times get rougher. Maybe you want to be Mingyu's night sky clear enough and starry enough to guide him home. And all that makes you feel like you want to cry and weep because maybe you are not ready enough. Maybe you will never be. But you want to be, you want so much and that makes things even harder.

So when Mingyu gives you a peck on the lips when he is going home to change for the gym and you are ready for a day in the university you also feel like crying.

And when Mingyu sends you a message asking you out - on a proper date he makes that clear enough you also feel like crying.

And when Mingyu is knocking on your door because you didn't answer and he saw your car in the garage when he was back from his market trip you are already crying before even answering the door.

"Hey-" He freezes and his demeanor changes. "Hey, what's wrong?"

You just continue to cry, feeling like a dumb little kid, feeling like a pan full of water in the stove, boiling and overflowing.

"Hey, babe what's wrong?" Mingyu says, hands on your cheeks making you look at him. "You’re making me worried."

"I just-" You try to say, cleaning your face but you just hiccup harder.

"Are you feeling unwell? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No, I'm OK." And you say because you see Mingyu's face squirm in agony.

"Ok, ok. Do you need anything? Do you want me to buy anything? Fix anything? Did someone mistreat you?" Mingyus continues to try searching for something in your face.

"No I-"

"You can tell me if it is someone from your work or-" He tries again.

"It is not about work, it is about us." You finally say, not because you summed up the courage, but because the way Mingyu is acting is breaking your heart all over again.

"Us?" Mingyu bends his head to the side. "Okay, what's wrong with us?"

"Sometimes I get too wrapped up in my head and that's not your fault." You say, just leaving him there and sitting on the sofa. And you feel the urge to just tug at your hair and scream. "And the whole I'm not ready thing and your sister-"

"What did my sister say?" Mingyu cuts you, closer to you, arms folded against his chest.

“It’s  not because of what she said, she is actually right about it-"

"Look babe, I love my sister to death, I love Minseok to death, I’d die and kill for both of them, but my sister is overprotective so whatever she said-"

"She said we don't have good communication." You blur out at once.

"Oh, for fucks sake,"

"And she’s right because I thought Minseok was your kid right?" You tell Mingyu a little exasperated. "Like we've been hanging out right? And I didn't feel comfortable to talk about it with you"

"Everyone thinks Minseok is my kid." Mingyu says like is not a big deal.

"Yeah but your maybe girlfriend shouldn't and I found out on a trip to a hospital when all the time I was thinking about how worried you were because it was your kid." You say bringing your knees to your chest because all this is fucked up, you shouldn't be talking about this with Mingyu because you have no right to, you were the one that spent too much time not saying yes, and when you said yes didn't even feel like a yes to be honest.

"I was worried, and Minseok is my kid in a way.”

"Mingyu,” You breathe deeply, because you feel stupid, and you feel like you are asking too much "Maybe that's my fault too, I'm not blaming you, that's why I told you that I was not ready for a relationship because I always fuck things up. I get so scared that I fuck things up before people realize I'm not good enough fo-"

"For fucks sake," Mingyu says opening his arms and tilting his head again. And you think is the first time you see Mingyu mad or frustrated, or both at the same time, you really can’t tell. "What the fuck do you mean with not good enough? You are caring, you are smart, and you actually drove me to the hospital and stayed there until I kicked you out. All that when we’ve been seeing each other for two weeks, how is that not being good enough?" Mingyu take your hand that is laying against your knee and caresses it with his thumb. "You make me go crazy every time we are together and I feel the happiest I've ever been in these months fuck this year actually has been a hell for me." Mingyu kicks nothing, and you feel so sorry for bringing it up, for crying, because you can see that this is hard for him too. "So yeah, maybe you are not ready so what? Maybe we don't have communication, yeah sure we fucked up, but if you get out of your head, maybe it’s all because I'm the asshole, I'm the one who loves his nephew enough to want to actually fit the dad shoes because Minseok deserves a father figure. I-" Mingyus says and you can see that his knee almost buckles, making him change positions. "I'm still lacking too, maybe I'm a mess too, fuck, maybe I'm not ready too, but I prefer not being ready together than being ready at the wrong time." Mingyu takes another step, and his hand goes to your cheeks caressing it, making you closer your eyes and just enjoy his faint touch. “So don’t feel pressured ok? You are not in this alone, and I told you I’m all okay with waiting and I’m- I may not seem like it, but I am a mess too, I have my doubts too, and I get into my head too. So when you are getting all crazy and stuff just, just let’s have a talk, ok?”

“Okay, yeah. Okay.” You say catching his hand and kissing his palm. “Can we order food? Can we order Chinese?”

“Of course we can, baby.” Mingyu says with a chuckle.

“And then, " You start unsure of yourself because you still think you are asking too much and giving too little. "Then can you tell me about Minseok? Can we talk about the whole history?”

“Of course, we can” Mingyu says, looking at you fondly again, and for once you feel that being transparent to Mingyu is not that bad because you feel like he understands you need. “I may cry though, so…”

“It's okay, I'm pretty sure you gonna be cute crying.” Mingyu gives you a big smile and that makes you feel alright.

So Mingyu tells you a lot. He tells about Minseok's dad death, he tells about his own father's death and how that impacted him, and how he draws the parallel between Minseok and himself. He talks about how his sister is so protective of him even tho she is half his size, he talks about how his sister always picked his fight. He tells you about Minseok favorite things - Pokémon, ice cream, and dinosaurs. He tells you everything he can think of until you two finish up dinner, and he continues to tell you everything when you are laying in his arms, his hands on your hair, your body over him - legs and arms across Mingyu, because you feel the need to hug his big and beautiful heart, but you settle the need hugging him instead.

And you and Mingyu just fall into a routine easily. You sleeping on his bed or him sleeping on yours, even though his feet always hang on the end of your bed because he is just too damn big and tall. You always say goodbyes at the door, or on the elevator, Mingyu going to the gym, you to your work. Sometimes, when Mingyu has a deadline you stop at your favorite restaurant and order food to cheer him up. Sometimes, Mingyu picks you up so you guys can eat out for a change. But the thing is - its always more than once a week.

So when Mingyu knocks on your door, maybe the fourth time this week (without counting the times you knocked on his door) you are ready to give a pretty and polished version, with heels and all, because Mingyu is taking you to the new fancy restaurant across town.

"Hey-Wow" Mingyu says and you almost throw yourself at him, you almost drool and make a fool of yourself, because Mingyu is wearing black slacks and a white button-down, and god your boyfriend is so hot. "You look amazing babe." He says holding your finger up and making you twirl.

"Thanks," You give him a kick peck and spread your hands against his chest. "You don't look so bad either."

The restaurant is nice, the place is beautiful, the food amazing, and the wine Mingyu ordered tastes so good against your tongue. But the only thing you actually think of is him. His pretty skin pecking out of hir shirt collar, his pretty lazy smile against a few cups of wine, his strong arms and peck against the fabric of his shirt.

When you guys finally settle on the Uber, Mingyu does one of the things he does best - he thinks and conjures in his mind that every damn living thing is in love with you, and it is endearing really. He is so protective and caring and that makes you want to jump him too. He nods to the uber and his big ass hand rest on your thigh, just where the hem of your black dress ends.

And you want to kiss him so bad, if it wasn't for the Uber, you could probably ride him in the backseat. You tug Mingyu's arms making him bend a little in your direction, while your other hand is splayed on top of his, fingers interwind. You kiss Mingyu’s jaw and feel his arm up, god, he is so strong and so hard all over it makes you go crazy, makes you want to merge your body with his, so you just try to get closer to him even if you know it's not really possible.

“You smell nice,” You say almost sniffing Mingyu, hand on his biceps and face on the slot of his neck.

“I smell like I always do?” Mingyu answers you but is more a question really. His hand still on you thigh, but this time giving it a squeeze.

“Yeah, but you always smell nice, baby.” You hands travels up - stopping on his chest. Well, fuck the uber really, he probably sees couples feeling eachother up all the time, so you just paw Mingyu chest.

“Thanks babe but,” He says, holding your hand and giving you a chuckle when he sees you pouting on his shoulder.

“No fun.” You say still trying to get your hand free, to feel Mingyu up in the backseat like a fucking teenager. And to be honest you like the prospect of it giggling a little, feeling dumb, but oh so happy.

“No fun?” Mingyu asks you. “I’m the most fun guy you’ve ever met, I love fun. Fun and I are synonyms.”

“Well, I’m trying to feel you up in the backseat of an uber and you’re not letting me, so, you are the most boring guy ever.” You say on Mingyu’s ear, whispering the words, and you just see his body jerking. He starts to cough, looking at you disbelieved, and you do the only thing possible and laugh.

You take pity on Mingyu's situation, because he is almost choking on the backseat. So you behave like a little girl, hands on her lap, no more touching his boobs, or trying to lick his neck and jaw. But you still think about every other thing you want to do to him. You think about how Mingyu’s hands are big and the way he always put on the small of your back, and you question how it would feel against your neck.

You also want to discover every nook and cranny of Mingyu. Because you love the way he is so reliable in every aspects of adult-life that you struggle a little, he was the one that dealt with the new ac installation in your apartment, but you also love the way he gets so silly and pouts with the smallest and easiest things, and deep down you know Mingyu can do that task, he was big and strong, yet you were the one taking the grasshopper off his balcony.

But when Mingyu is glued to your back, hands on your hips and mouth on your neck on the elevator you think that you settle to discover this version of him today. The version that has you wrapped up in his arms, and the version that has the audacity to feel you up in the elevator.

“You are such a jerk.” You say to Mingyu still latched on your neck.

“Me?” Mingyu asks trailing his hand till they stop on your ribcages, fingers digging in.

"Yes, you." You say trying to get out of Mingyu's embrace but he’s just so clinging, glued to your back, and he is actually keeping you in place with his strong arms. "You can do everything and I can't feel up in the uber. It’s unfair."

"Baby, the uber was right there." Mingyus says guiding you though the hall and stopping on your door.

"Yeah and the crazy lady from the 07 can show up at anytime." You say trying to up your door but Mingyu hands are still on you, now on the hem of your dress, toying with it. "I really shouldn't you let get your way with me today."

"Don't even think about that." Mingyu says, hands again on your hips, this time he starts rutting against your back. "I might die." And you two almost trip when you finally open the door and Mingyu's body weight makes you go forward.

"Yeah, but I’m still mad with you." You say tugging on Mingyu's shirt, his large body pressing you against the wall.

"Baby’s mad?" Mingyu coos, and your legs almost give up because the condescending tone his uses make your brain stop. "What can I do then, hmm?" Mingyu says already lifting your dress up. "What can I do so my baby is not mad with me?"

So you do the only thing you think really, you put hands on Mingyu's neck and bring him to a kiss, it is sloppy but you don't even care, because Mingyu's lip feel so soft, and you can trace the taste of the wine on his tongue. And you are so distracted that you only realize Mingyu is getting you naked when he breaks the kiss to take off your dress.

"Fuck-" Mingyu says actually looking at you, hands on your waist holding you back enough so he can see the way that the black lingerie you bought a few days ago cling onto your skin.

"Come here." You say grabbing Mingyu's shirt again, wanting his mouth back on yours. But Mingyu cuts the kiss short again, leaving sloppy kisses on your jaw and neck. "Babe." You call again, hand going to his hair and tugging.

"I know, I know" Mingyu says kissing your collarbone. "Fuck-" He says taking a step back again and you can feel your body going in his direction, but Mingyu's hand steadies you against the wall. "Just- you look so pretty." Mingyu says looking at you and you’d almost feel shy if you didn't feel so needy. "Look at you." He says hand traveling to touch your boobs so fucking softly you almost melt, fingertips grazing against your lingerie.

"Babe," You whine again, trying to get Mingyu's attention, but he doesn't care, too lost kissing your chest.

"Fuck-" Mingyu says grabbing your hips, toying with your panty line. "Wanna eat you out so bad," He says like almost begging and you need to balance yourself on his shoulders. "You’ll let me right?" Mingyu says looking at you, eyes still against on your skin.

And you feel like your mouth is not working properly so you just give him a nod and it's enough for Mingyu trails his lips lower and actually kneel in front of you. And that alone should be fucking illegal, so when he plants a little kiss on your mound you think you are ready to go straight to hell because you just want to shove his face on your pussy, but instead you just hold Mingyu's face, hands on his jaw.

"I-" he starts, hands on your ass, fingers digging on your skin. When you look at him again he looks so out of it, so lost, so pussy drunk you can almost cry. And when Mingyu actually starts to lap at your pussy, your lingerie still in place you feel actually insane, clenching around nothing and the feel of your wet panties against your core makes you tug at his hair. The way Mingyu looks - eyes closed, hair a mess because of you, eyebrows furrowing in concentration makes your hips buckle against his mouth, but he just keeps going, like there is no other thought in his mind.

"Babe please I need-" You say breathing rapidly, and you feel the urge to cry again, because is so good but at the same time is not enough.

"Hm?" Mingyu says mouth still on you, eyes opening looking at you.

"Need more." You say pathetically, but if you need to beg, you will beg.

"Yeah?" Mingyu asks. "Gonna give to you baby." He says just so he can get his mouth off of you to tug your panties to the side. Then his mouth is on your pussy again, like he can't really spent more than two seconds apart. And you just mew, one hand on Mingyu's hair, and another one trying to keep your body straight against the wall. "Fuck-" Mingyu says again tugging at your panties to the side again, and you can feel it digging at your chest but you don’t care. "How can a pussy taste so good?" Mingyu asks but you doesn't really have an answer, and you feel Mingyu's strong hands on your leg, manhandled your into position, leg against his shoulder, hand splayed on your thigh, while the other one goes to your pussy opening you up. "Pussy’s so pretty fuck, could eat you out for days." He says almost breathless before going back to lap at your pussy, fingers still keeping your open and sucking at your clit.

And everything makes you feel insane. Of course Mingyu's tongue against your entrance makes your knees give up, of course the way he keeps you open for his mouth makes it so dirty, but whats really keeps you going, what makes you reach the edge so fast is the way he hums against your pussy, like it's his favorite thing in the world, the way he is so fucking desperately laps at it, the way the everytime your hips buckle Mingyu just follows the moviment because he can't take his mouth off you for a fucking second and it's what makes you cum. And you actually need to hold Mingyu's head for a minute so he leaves your pussy in other to you catch a breath.

"Need a minute," You say explaining when he looks at you puzzled. "Sensitive."

"Did you just-" Mingyu stops, looking at you and at your pussy making you laugh a little. "Did you just cum?"

"Yeah?"

"Fuck, you are so hot." He says giving the leg that still on his shoulder a bite. "But you can take more right?" He says fingers tracing your pussy, pressing your clit making you jump a little. "You need to take more babe, gonna eat your pussy again, open you up with my fingers," he says fingers on your entrance "and then will you make you come on my cock I know you will take so fucking well-" and he plants a kiss on you clit again. "Pretty pussy taking my cock hm? Gonna make you enjoy it, promise, gonna make you feel good."

And you don't doubt for a second that he will make you feel good, fuck he just made you cum against a wall two steps away from your door, but before you can say anything Mingyu is attatched to your pussy again.

"Wait, babe" Mingyu says. "This damn thing is getting on my way." He says letting your legs fall down and he finally takes off your panties, not even bothering to get really off of you, Mingyu just let one of your legs free while your panties sits on your feet. "God, if you let me, I will eat you out everyday, lick this pussy everyday before getting out of bed." He says like he is telling you about a new habits like drinking water first thing on the morning, or have a juice everyday - but he is talking about how he wants to bury his face on your legs like he is doing now, tongue going against your folders, arm going around your leg and opening you open again for him, while the other one goes to your ribcage keeping your body upright. And you loose track of time really, just focusing on Mingyu's tongue against you, humming all over again. "Fuck, how can a cunt taste so fucking good." Mingyu says mouth leaving your pussy as his fingers tacking its place. "You are making me insane, going to cum at my pants if we keep going like this." And you can actually see Mingyu palming himself.

"We can-" You try to start but he just chuckles.

"Oh no, don't worry about me." He says eyes leaving you and going again to your pussy, and you feel so exposed in Mingyu's hand, his digit finally entering you which makes you whimper, until know you didn't really paid attention on how empty you felt. "Making you feel good is enough for me." He says like he is not fingerfucking you to the second orgasm of the night. And again is not really the actions itself, of course. Mingyu’s longer fingers entering you is so fucking good, the way his thumb goes at your clitoris rubbing it in circles makes you cry, but when you look down and Mingyu barely blinks, eyes on your pussy and licking his lips like he didn't eat your pussy for minutes, is what makes you break, the way he looks so fucked blissed about giving you pleasure like he doesn’t need anything else.

And you come on his fingers and almost melting, but Mingyu lifts and holds you up, giving your ass a squeeze.

"So fucking hot-" Mingyu says his strong arms around you making you move towards the sofa, and you are pretty sure he is just dragging you around because your legs gave up. "Could use my mouth to clean you up-" and you almost scream when he is laying on the sofa, letting himself get comfortable between your legs.

"Babe, I love your mouth," you say tugging in Mingyus shirt, and how the fuck he is not naked. "but really I need your cock, otherwise I might go crazy." And you use your last few working neurons to start open the buttons on his shirt but suddenly stop when Mingyu just shoves two fingers inside you again.

"Hm, but you look stuffed enough baby." Mingyu says lowering himself and giving you a kiss, you feeling the taste of your pussy on his mouth.

"Mingyu, please" You beg. "Please, I-"

"Shh, it's okay, gonna give it to you." He says finally getting off his shirt and you feel so empty you can feel yourself clenching over nothing, and you can see how Mingyu just watches your pussy. "Fuck, baby, don't worry" He says already opening up his pants. "Gonna give to you real good, gonna make you feel so full."

"Oh, thank god." You say making him laugh before getting naked, and fuck, he was pretty and big all over. And you almost drool because, shit, even his dick is pretty. "Can I suck you off?" You ask already crazy enough that you mind-mouth filter just vanished.

"Oh fuck," Mingyu say hips buckling, making his cock sits on your mound, and he looks so big. Thank fuck he stretched you out. "Yeah, yeah not now though, might cum on your mouth."

"That's alright."

"Babe," Mingyus mewls, head resting on your collarbone, looking defeated. "Don't say things like that I almost-" He says hips buckling again. "Wanna fuck you properly."

"Ok, ok, but later…"

"Yeah, you can choke on it later, I won't be against it." And god, you want Mingyu to shut the fuck up because if he keeps talking to you, you’re gonna cum again without his dick inside you. "Fuck, might not last long" Mingyu says, and you almost laugh at him, because he is acting like you are not one step away from being spent just because of your mouth. Mingyu guides his cock with his hand, mouth watering looking at it, and when you feel hime ntering you you actually sees your boyfriend gulp.

And then you think about Mingyu saying how different you both are from each other. How his main sense is his vision, while for you, every touch sends you overdrive. And how both of you are so different but fit so well, because when Mingyu is fucking you, his body against yours, mouth at your jaw and hand holding yours, you feel like earth could collapse and the world could end because you already had the taste of the most important thing in the world; the taste of being loved by Mingyu, and you are sure nothing will come close to it.

You feel the urge to make Mingyu feel the same way, so loved and so cherished. So while Mingyu is fucking you, you try your best, you kiss his jaw - and it's messy and sloppy, but it's the best you can do when his dick is stretching you out. You claw at his shoulder, and you put your legs around his waits.

"Fuck, baby-" You try to speak again but you feel unable to, like your brain are not even trying to put more than two words together.

"I'm so fucking close." Mingyu says with his thrust getting faster, out of rhythm, body more pressed against yours.

And you just let the wave wash over you. You can feel Mingyu getting even more unruly, babbling things that you can't really make sense because, fuck, you are so gone. The way that he fills you up in every corner is just different, the way that he stretches you almost makes you feel like you arrived at a point of no return, and when you cum, clenching around him, Mingyu reaches his breaking point.

"Fuck-" He says getting off of you, and getting his hair out of his face, and his smile is so big, so beautiful and so lazy you could just kiss him if your limbs were working really.

"Hey baby, can you please take my bra off?" You say already turning on the bed but when Mingyu's laugh reaches your ears you are so fucking glad that you moved.

[octuscle]

Late Night Possession

Inspired by @malevessel

It was a terrible day. Meetings that dragged on like chewing gum. The air conditioning in the meeting room was faulty, it was well over 30 degrees Celsius outside, much higher inside and the humidity wasn't much below 100 percent. I hate it when lawyers suddenly join us at the end of a project. They talk everything up without even having understood for five cents what it was all about. And my client's in-house counsel was not only annoying, he also stank from the mouth and smelled terribly of sweat. The air in the meeting room was stifling. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when we thought we were finally finished at 8pm. And then the pain in the ass said he had a few more questions….

It was really lucky that I got the last train home. I still had a three-hour journey ahead of me. It would be 02:00 when I was finally in bed. What a day! But I would take a nap now. The train was almost empty, I was sitting in the rest area, no one would disturb me.

"Hey bro, I swear! The bitch was begging for mercy. And then I fucked her all the more!" I am rudely torn from my reverie. Two seats away, a guy has sat down. A migrant with Arab roots, I'd say. Not a Muslim, because he doesn't perform ablutions. It smells of sweat and tobacco. The guy is on the phone at 11:30 at night in the train's rest area. On the phone? No, he's shouting. Without a headset of course, I can hear his "bro" on the other end just as well as I can hear him. And the guy is smoking. On the train. That's all I really needed today to be happy.

I may look weak. I am weak. Sport was never my thing. But I'm not anxious. Even if the guy has arms that make my legs look skinny. But he's not allowed to use the phone here. And he's certainly not allowed to smoke here. I stand up. I go to him. He only looks at me for a split second and immediately turns his attention back to his conversation partner. "Excuse me, this is a non-smoking train and you are in the rest area… So may I ask you…" BAAAAANNG! His fist hits me without any warning. My eyes go black.

Shit, why does my fist hurt? Shouldn't my head be hurting? I rub my fist. And see myself. On the floor. Knocked out. Shit! Shit! Shit! I look in the window. At my reflection. A migrant with Arab roots. "Yo dude, you good? Yo bro, spill the tea, what's the 411?" I hear from the cell phone. I pick up the phone, say that everything is okay, but that I have to take care of something here and hang up. I lie on the floor and sniffle. So it's the other one. Or is it me? Damn it! What's happened here? Take it easy now. This is a dream. I have brain trauma or something… What would I really do now if I were in that bastard's body? I'm like remote-controlled. I take my wallet out of my jacket pocket. I take my watch, the gold cufflinks and my glasses. I put everything in my laptop bag. The next station is coming. And I jump out of the train. I need a cigarette now. I don't smoke, but my body is obviously addicted to that shit. There's a Zippo and filterless Marlboros in my bomber jacket. I'm still a bit inexperienced with it, I have tobacco crumbs on my tongue. But the smoke feels good. So good. And my head is finally starting to work properly again.

Okay, I'm in the middle of nowhere in Stoke-on-Trent. Shit, I've got the belongings of a man who's been knocked out on a train to Manchester. I'm going to need money. I take the money out of my wallet, take the credit cards and pull the maximum amount out of the ATM in the deserted station concourse with each one. According to the departure board, there's a train back to London in ten minutes. The platform is empty. I get on, leave the laptop bag with everything that might remind me of myself in an empty compartment and quickly get off again. The train departs. Shit, shit, shit! I need one more cigarette first. I smoke the second one much more routinely on the station forecourt. Opposite the station is a somewhat shabby-looking hotel. While I'm thinking about going in there, a bus arrives. Destination Birmingham. Without thinking twice, I get on the bus. Birmingham. I drove through there a few hours ago. In a completely different body. I fall asleep.

It's dawn when my cell phone wakes me up. The phone of the guy who knocked me out. Mine after all. Shit, I'm not awake yet and the situation is challenging. The phone isn't vibrating discreetly, it's quite loud. BILLY TSTRK as the ringtone. One of my favorite hip-hop artists. He's also from Beirut. It's my buddy Dylan. He asks if everything's okay because I haven't been in touch. I say I've had a bit of stress with the wanker on the train and am now on the bus to Birmingham rather than Manchester. Dylan says cool, he'll tell Hamza and he'll pick me up at the bus. "You're a man of honor, I'll kiss your eye!" I say and hang up.

It's 05:30. I've been on the phone with Facetime. Without a headset. Several pairs of eyes stare at me in annoyance. "laenat alfilastiniiyn alkufaar" I curse and close my eyes again.

Had to go into hiding for a few weeks. The police were looking for me. Of course, there were surveillance cameras at the station. As far as I know, my old body is in a mental hospital. The story of the investment banker who suffered brain trauma after being mugged on a night train and then thought he was his tormentor was in the press. Not that I still read the papers. But it even appeared on Yasin's Instagram account, which is now my account.

My boys had to get used to it a bit. The investment banker is still in me. And that's a good thing. As Yasin, I have a pretty complex company to run. Import, export, all sorts of different stuff. I wash the money in investments in shisha bars and fitness studios. Hey, I only invest in things I know something about. And I practically live on the weight bench and in the shisha lounge area. Even though I think shisha sucks. I'll stick to cigarettes.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I have an odd request… perhaps a captain price fic where the reader is much younger and edgy- likeee covered in tats and stuff,, and price isn’t rly used to that but finds it hot as hell… idk maybe they work together ?? Smut ensues …

IDK I have tatts and wonder what he’d think of that 👹👹

Just an idea 💡❤️😫

Fire it Up (John Price x F!Reader)

Word count: 7.8 k

Tags/warnings: Smut 🔞 mutual pining, flirting, swearing, older man/younger woman dynamic, forbidden love, smoking & drinking, voice kink, a tiny brat taming kink squeezed itself in here too. Reader has tattoos and works as a coder at the base. Rough ~10yrs age gap described, reader is of age I hope to god it goes without saying (Price is canonically 37) Also: no use of 'daddy' in this fic

A/N: I'm so glad for this request anon and I hope you like what I made! Also people please be gentle, this is my first Price fic 🥹 God I wish I could attach the fat scent of cigar here to give you the full experience. 

You don't know what caught your attention first.

The cigar, perhaps. Or the beard? Might be his hips, the ass that tells you this man can fuck a woman for hours.

Or maybe it's the fact that he's too old for you.

No, not too old…

Just older than you. A decade, perhaps, if you were being gentle with him and lenient with yourself.

He certainly isn't old enough to be your father, but he wasn't the type of man your eyes usually drifted on either.

He looks like someone who's supposed to be fishing in Alaska, sucking that fat cigar while taking in the view of mountains while trying to catch wild fish in some wide, free stream. 

He's supposed to come home to a remote cabin: to his little wife who pours him a scotch after he has shown her what he caught today. Make sweet love to her while stars shoot and speckle the indigo night.

He looks like someone who makes love to women.

You, on the other hand, want to ride with him to the sunset on the back of a Harley, clutch his jacket as he drives you to some bizarre highway motel. You want to watch him drink that scotch from your navel. 

You'd do all kinds of crazy shit with him, keep his head between your legs with both hands, grind all over that mustache, and see how wet it gets. You want him to pound you with those narrow hips, take you from behind while you look back with parted, swollen lips and relish the sight of what must be a grown man's hardened body, covered with hair and scars and–

"The bug's still there."

You return to reality, look at the code on your screen, and then at your colleague, a 20-something bloke who looks at you with the lethargic stare that only belongs to techies. You've just been caught daydreaming your eyes off in the middle of a lazy afternoon. Coffee doesn't do shit after 2 PM…

"Yeah I know. I'm working on it," you say. But when the dude leaves, you decide it's time for a creative break. You tell yourself it's only because the code jumps on the screen, not because you hope to catch a certain someone smoking outside. 

The leather jacket is a little too much these days, but you throw it on out of pure habit. You realize the weight of your mistake when you go outside from the ventilated building and notice the sweltering heat. Spring has finally turned into summer.

Coffee doesn’t do shit, but it’s time for another kind of wakey-wakey. And butterflies are a funny term for something that mainly feels like it’s eating your insides out of pure excitement. 

Because he's here too.

Jonathan Price, although no one calls him Jonathan. Few call him John, either. 

Mostly, he goes by the title Captain.

He's stressed; you can tell. But his eyes soften immediately when they fall on you, a brief look to the side, just to know who else comes out to have a breath of fresh air or a smoke. He looks like he's been expecting you, but that might only be a silly girl's daydream. You two share a vice, and you've never been more grateful for your bad habit before this place and him.

And you wouldn't call it necessarily a bad habit. It's simply stress relief if you do it once or twice every few weeks. It's not like you smoke two packs a day. It's not like you even smoke one cig per day. 

Although ever since you started this odd little job in this odd little place, you've smoked one or two nearly every day… And it's not because of the stress.

It's because of Price. 

John. You’d like to see his reaction to you moaning that word in his ear…

"How long have you been here?"

His eyes are still on you, mouth covered by a hand as he makes love to his cigar. And that bedroom voice always gets you. It's better than the upcoming slow drag of nicotine. You're not here for tobacco at all.

"Two weeks." You reach for your excuse and try to prevent your hands from trembling as you light the cig. Usually, you're not this shy with people. Not with men, anyway. But with him, your wits and words disappear. 

You blow the smoke through the air with a quick, lively wisp where he lets it roll out his tongue in a heavy cloud. He's still watching you as if to weigh what kind of woman you are exactly.

"How about you?" You continue the small talk with nervous ease.

He chuckles; the little smile even shows a flash of teeth as he steals a look at the clouds, calculating years with those surprisingly lively eyebrows curled up toward the sky.

"Ages."

He's not that old. Perhaps well over his thirties, might be knocking his forties. The statement is merely an underline of his stress today. You can only wonder what kind of pressure the captain of Task Force 141 is under when you get sleepless nights from a stupid source code. There are a few wrinkles around his eyes, but they only tell you that this man smiles a lot. He might be the only one in this compound who smiles a lot.

"Have you ever tried a cigar?"

There's a glint in his eyes as he offers the thick roll of tobacco to you. It's suddenly difficult to breathe, difficult to even keep your thoughts together.

"No," you shake your head as if your answer wasn't enough to tell him he's the first person ever to offer you such a thing. Then you realize the word does not precisely deliver your eagerness to try that stout cigar.

"Would love to," you hurry to add with a soft smile. "Can I have a taste?"

He walks to you slowly, and your eyes drop to those hips, which sway like he's purposely trying to seduce you.

Fu–ck…

Then your eyes sink even lower, between his legs, to his fucking junk, and it's too fucking late–

Jesus–get your shit together…

You force your eyes back to his and see the little glimmer in them gain a surprised spark – you're totally caught red-handed on checking him out.

Fuck. How can you be so stu–

"Gently then, kid."

You swallow your heart and thoughts down and take the offered cigar; of course, your first thought is how thick and heavy it is. And somehow, you decide right then and there that you will no longer be the nervous, hot-cheeked woman on the corner.

It's time to make him flustered.

So you take a hollow-cheeked, slow suck on the fat cigar. A chaste, savory taste, more like, but there's nothing chaste in the way you raise your eyes to his, putting every ounce of soft seduction in that stare.

He draws breath slowly – his face is full of expression for an allegedly cold-hearted elite soldier. You don't know how often women flirt with this hunk of a man, but he sure looks taken aback by your sudden play. Probably thinks you're too young for him – and you curse the second time you put that jacket on. You want to see his reaction to your sleeves.

"Mm. It's thicker than I thought," you weigh the cigar between your fingertips and let the smoke roll out your mouth. The man switches his weight from one foot to another, speechless, and you suppress a big beam of a smile.

"The taste," you emphasize as if innocent, as if you didn't see that shocked little shift. "Round, and… god, it's almost sweet."

You smile as you give it back, and he chuffs an approving laugh through his nose – those eyes are bear-warm playful now, his mouth curves into an easy smile.

"Nice," you look him up and down as if you're talking about the man and not the cigar.

"Beats those little sticks." 

His voice drops down a few notes; it's almost a husky growl. You barely make out the words he's saying. The tension in the air could form little balls of lightning around you, the flirt is over the roof, and there's even no roof because you're outside – and you take your jacket off, slowly, to make it clear it's summer and not spring.

His eyes fall on the ink immediately, and he blinks a few times, draws some more breath – you tweet your thanks accompanied by another smile and go back inside.

You know he's checking your ass in those black jeans as you walk away.

….....

It doesn't end there.

You see him again and again and again, and at some point you realize he has to walk almost 100 meters from the other end of the base to get to the little corner where the two of you smoke. 

He's intrigued but decent. Holds a distance, never says anything that could be taken in the wrong way – or even in the right way. But he's fucking you with his eyes. 

No… making love to you.

And it drives you crazy.

You don't want that. You don't need that. To be that little wife in the cabin. Pouring him a drink, climbing in his lap, ghosting a finger down the stubble on his chin, see how wide and proud it makes him smile to hold you like you're his and his alone...

God. When did it come to this?

You suck on his fat cigar every now and then. Look him in the eyes while you do it. Once, it makes his tongue dart out, it wets his bottom lip, and then he does that thing with his mouth... the thing where he kind of purses his lips and it makes the mustache dip, and you realize, you learn it's a sign that he's restless, he's flustered.

You make the big, burly captain of Task Force 141 flustered.

And he doesn't smell like the people inside smell. Of stale coder sweat and Joy Division and soft drinks and mommy's home-cooked meals. He smells of rich forest and fine bourbon and half-burnt gasoline. Maybe Saxon on vinyl. Definitely beats those little sticks that are your nerdy co-workers at the hacker department, as you call it.

He may have a flask somewhere; perhaps he takes a sip or two every now and then, whether at work or not. And you don't blame him. Even with those laugh lines and that brown bear benevolence, you can tell he's seen things. 

You wonder what he's like out there in the field. Brutal? Or just efficient?

He never asks about your tattoos, but he eyes them often. There's a certain admiring esteem in his stare. He's checking you out, scratches his chin, and rips his eyes off when they start to drift down. He forces his eyes to stay above your neckline no matter the cost. You mourn that you got rid of the septum a few years ago: you're pretty sure he would've liked that, too. After all, it's a piercing that screams 'warrior' the most. Break after break, you return to your desk, aroused and giddy and surrounded by the rich, masculine aroma of his cigar.

One night, he drives by when you're walking home after what was supposed to be one or two pints.

The car is a big, black pick-up, and when it slows down and starts to inch by your side, your first reaction is a silent curse of why the fuck don't you carry some pepper spray in your pocket.

"Hey, you ok?"

Your head rises from the asphalt the second you recognize that smooth, pleasant voice of a man you had compared every guy to at the pub that evening. The whole man is brimming with burnt sienna, he's hard alcohol with no ice…

You stop and turn, a little wobbly from the pint turned to two or three. Or four.

"Yeah. Had a little girl's night out."

The car rumbles softly, not two meters away, and the sound reminds you of his voice. A soft purr that can turn into a growl, even a roar if he wants to. 

He looks like he's going fishing, even without the boonie hat. The dark hair is cut short, so you won't have anything to tug if he ever ends up between your legs. But you don't really mourn that fact, because he looks so damn good.

He looks you up and down, and you notice the briefest blob of his Adam's apple before he gives you another offer.

"Want me to give you a ride?"

Would love a ride.

Would fucking love to ride you.

"Sure. That's kind of you." 

Your eyes must be sparkling like the fucking stars.

"No problem at all," he leans his elbow on the open window and waits while you round the car and get in. You try to tone down your drunken state, but your moves are a little too brash for a calm and collected coder lady this man has usually caught leaning against the wall of the workplace you two share.

"Did you have fun?"

He sounds like a dad picking up his girl from a school disco, and you purse your lips in slight distaste and amusement.

"Yeah. You know how it is when someone asks you for a pint."

He gives a short laugh and starts to drive. "That never ends well."

You smile and turn to look at him.

"Mm… This one kinda did."

You enjoy the brief look out the window, the sight of someone so formidable and robust and experienced trying to find his way out by feigning something caught his attention in the black, empty distance of a quiet city.

"Glad I could be of service," he brushes off your flirt like it's nothing more than a speckle of dust on his coat.

The rest of the ride is silent, too silent. He turns the music off in case it "bothers you," and it turns into an awkward, overly polite fight about whether to keep it on or not. 

It's a minor shock to notice he was listening to some classical. Not 80's rock, not country, not even BBC. He was just soothing his nerves.

You can't put your finger on what makes you feel so sheepish around this man – usually, you put men on a leash with a few dry jokes and a hearty laugh or two. Now, your flirting is shy and does nothing: there's a wall built up, and from behind that wall, only a few stolen looks…

The pick-up is humming, the engine is running at idle next to your place far too soon, and it's time you get off the car – but you have vehemently decided you will knock down that fucking wall even if you have to drag him to your bed. 

"You wanna come up and have a nightcap?"

Another look out the window as he raises his hand over his mouth, fiddles with his mustache, and avoids the rising heat between you two.

"Thanks, kid. But you need to sleep."

Your heart is pumping, and you feel like a harasser as you place your hand on his thigh.

He doesn't move, but you can hear the audible swallow this time. He doesn't move a single finger even when you slide your palm down that leg, then drag it over to the inner thigh, and start to drift back up slowly, slowly, to give him the time and space to stop you before you reach….

….the visible bulge between those legs, the absolutely gorgeous, ample bump pulling at those pants, something so delicious that you must fight tooth and nail not to race your hand up there and give it a fond grope.

His hand falls over yours just before you reach it.

"Kid. Let's leave it here and call it a night."

His voice is strained and tight, and he's still looking out the window. You don't move your hand away because he doesn't move it away. His warmth stays there, keeping you against him, and you feel like shit for thinking it's not a no… That it's a yes when he seems to hold your hand as a prisoner, wanting to feel your dainty little palm against him.

Your fingers curl slightly, a hopeful gesture to imagine how it would feel to curl and claw at his hips and that ass while he's fucking you.

"Listen. You're a nice girl. A very nice–"

You give a heavy, demonstrative sigh and finally draw your hand away.

"Come on Cap… You're seriously going to give me the "you're a nice girl" talk?"

Finally, he turns. His nostrils quiver as he tries to keep his breaths calm. Your lips part like it's a whole caress he just gave you – and his gaze drops to your mouth instantly. You start to see where the problem is.

You're too young. 

You're forbidden.

"I offered you a nightcap," you tilt your head slightly. "You can come up or you can go home."

You wet your lips, give the bottom lip a tiny little bite, and offer him the last, inviting, soft smile. It must hold an equal amount of sorrow because you can't drown the bitter feeling of rejection, no matter how many drinks you've had that night. No matter how much he seems to want you, it doesn't change the fact that he's apparently decided to stay strong and keep his hands off the cookie jar.

You turn and get out of the car, lean on the door for the final fucking time...

"Didn't know I'd only get to suck your cigar... You're all smoke and no fire, Price."

The door flies closed with a louder slam than you originally meant. 

Now that was a little bit passive-aggressive, you have to admit. But you're drunk, and he's being a pain in the ass, calling you a kid, looking at you like that, having a fucking hard-on and giving you nothing.

…But it does the trick. 

You smile like an idiot when you walk to your place and hear the purr of the engine stop. Another car door opens, then closes, wide footsteps follow you…

A nightcap it is, then.

He looks even bigger when inside a place with walls and a roof. He stands inside your apartment tall and wide as if he's waiting to call attention. Those large hands are over his crotch, concealing the swell of erection you already saw in the car. 

You know the tank top you wear reveals even more skin covered in tats as you throw your jacket away and go get him that drink. The glasses glide on your table, slide nearly to the floor, and the bottle of Jim Beam meets the counter with a devastating clank. You look at the excuse to get him into your place and sigh. 

"You know what… Fuck this."

Offering cheap bourbon to someone like him seems a bit ridiculous. So you offer him something he might actually like. Something he actually came here for. 

You walk to him and throw your hands around him – he stiffens from the middle but looks down at you with a heated glimmer in those eyes. You could've sworn they were charred brown, the same color as his cigar, but up close you see they're actually molten iron. Mercurial.

"You sure about this?" He asks softly.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He unclasps those hands from over his groin, and the warmest weight falls to rest on your waist, even steals a caress to your hip. You want to hurl yourself at him, press yourself against his crotch and grind until you bleed from just that tiny touch he finally gives you.

"You've had one too many, love."

Love…

Shit.

The warmth spreads from his eyes, from that hand, from the word that rolls out of his mouth like a beautiful puff of smoke. It unfurls inside your heart, swells inside your throat, plummets to your groin, and you switch the weight to your other leg to feel how that hand gains more weight as it gets pressed more firmly against you.

"Doesn't change the fact that I want you."

Your voice is nothing short of a purr. When have you ever purred like that to a man? You sound like a housecat, tame and adoring, waiting for a gourmet meal.

"You really want an old man?"

He still has that reserve in his eyes, decent and distant, but underneath, you sense a terrible heat, like the glow of a cigar lit in darkness, an adamant smolder that never dies out.

"You're not that old." 

Your purr turns into a deprived meow. You dangle from his neck, and the smoke, the fire that surrounds him, blends into the gentle scent of a man, the musk of a mature beast. You know he's hairy under those clothes; he fucking has to be. The vision of how his cock must look, surrounded by untame, coarse fur, has tormented you night after night.

And now he's finally here. In your apartment.

You skate your hands over his chest while slowly dropping into a squat, then languidly kneeling in front of his crotch.

He doesn't stop you, not even when you open his belt and the zipper and crawl your fingers down the waistband of his underwear. You have to stifle a delighted gasp upon seeing how his cock springs free and stands proud in front of you in all its glory. And fuck yes he's hairy – the hairiest man you've ever had. 

Cigars feel like tiny little sticks when you wrap one hand around him and lick the weeping slit like it's your favorite ice cream. The groan that follows is a husky eruption above you and gets stuck in his throat as you take him in your mouth.

"Fucking hell, kid…"

He's thick, broad, and the musk fills your nostrils, but what he just said makes you pull back and whisper on the bulbous tip–

"Don't call me a kid," you breathe on his cock, swirl your tongue around him, and his thighs bunch. "Old man."

You finally manage to push some buttons.

The back of his hand brushes your cheek, then slides over to your throat. He's gentle but firm as he forces a thumb under your chin, curls fingers around your neck as if you're a cat who's about to be force-fed some medicine that's only good for her.

"Is that how you wanna play it?"

His thumb brushes down the ridge of your throat. Tentative, promising.

"Perhaps," your lips quiver with anticipation as you smile; your voice is a pitched vibrato before it drops, just to give him a reason to put you in your place... "Old gum–"

The hand pulls up, the grip tightens just enough to guide you back to your feet and up to meet his face.

"Didn't know you asked me here to tame a brat."

Fuck…

You almost moan. 

The hand doesn't choke you; it makes love to you. Claims you as his. 

"Really…?" You sigh. Flash him a filthy, guiltless smile.

The fire surges forth and nearly buckles your knees. His eyes flash in rhythm with your grin, like a sudden flicker of a campfire in the middle of a dark, parched forest.

"This what you want? Hmm?"

The rumble reminds you of the engine of a Harley roaring to life. His throat is burned from the fire of his cigars, the hand on your throat is used to squeezing dead metal and pulling pins from frigid grenades. But even they can't stand a chance against his woodland fire and sycamore smoke. He could bring a cold, inanimate rock back to life with all that fire.

"Yes. I want it. John."

His name on your tongue is a cat's meow. It has the exact effect you hoped for.

"Let's get the brat tamed, then."

"Hah," you finally moan. "Promises, prom–"

The fingers around your throat pull you to his mouth with a python strength. His lips spread yours with soft devouring as he coats you in fire. The coarse beard smells of sweet tobacco – nothing like a pungent cigarette. It's like an old memory: safe and sturdy and strong. Male.

You moan in his mouth – god, what will it be like when he's inside you? – and he capes both arms around you and crushes you against him. Broad shoulders envelop you like a shroud of thick smoke, the cock gets trapped between you like a hot spear, and you mewl like a slut.

Your pussy clenches, just from his warm mouth, the rich velvet of his lips. He takes everything with that kiss, and you're weak in his arms as he bends and molds you against him just the way he wants, opens your mouth with his own and breathes you, samples you like those puffs of smoke he sucks from his cigar.

Your brain short-circuits, you barely notice how your top slides up as his hands go under it. It's dragged up, up, over your breasts and then over your head as he detaches just enough to rip that piece of clothing away. 

You look at him like he's Christmas, then reach for your bra while he opens his pants more to get them down. Your jeans are accursedly tight, and he's breathless, too: the whole room is dark and filled with heavy breathing and rustle of clothes as you claw your socks off, slide your strings down and away, watch him get out of his shirt and throw it on the floor too, all propriety gone.

And then…

Jesusfuck–

He picks you up, lifts you from the ground like you're nothing but a leaf, and strides with you in his lap until your back meets a wall.

The barrel-like chest presses the air out of your lungs while your back travels up – you don't know if his arms or chest do the lifting, but you're being positioned for his cock to enter. Your hands try to grasp something solid before it's too late – his back and neck – your legs wrap around him, feet hooking over his ass as the thick of his tip pokes your soaked folds, and after a few seconds of probing, slides in. 

"F–uck…" you gasp, sounding so needy that it could be a voiceline from a bad porno movie. His lips find the place between your ear and neck immediately.

"Be good for me now," he gruffs, dark and round like the sweetest bourbon, although you know he's the finest single malt in the world. "Be good…"

"Ah–John…"

I'll be good… 

Just for you, I'll be so, so good.

He pants heavy on your neck, grunts as he starts to fuck you against that wall. You knew he might be intense, but apparently, you had no idea. The man is needy as fuck, and has concealed it up until this point. 

You could cry, scream from joy from the thickness that spreads you, fills you with every fat glide of a thrust. The sex borders on rough but is so incredibly tender too, so needy it makes your heart collapse, compress into a taut knot in your chest. It's the softest rocking, the gentlest fucking as he retreats, then ruts into you again and again with sharp, rusty moans. You're in a slow but steady rodeo with this man, your breasts pressed against a solid chest covered with hair, and it tickles, even if his pecs threaten to crush your ribcage.

"You're one hell of a girl," he gruffs in your ear, beard grazing up and down your neck. "Taking me so– Fucking hell, look at you…"

His eyes are embers as they sweep over you: your abundant ink, the helpless, adoring look in your eyes, the little mouth that opens with a gasp, the trickle of sweat that forms between your breasts and meets the hair on his chest. 

He doesn't have to look down to see how greedy your cunt is for him. He can feel it.

"This is what you wanted the whole time? Huh?"

He's all smoke. All fire.

"Yes…"

"Wanted me to take you against a fucking wall? Eh?"

"Yes…just, just take me," you moan and purr some more, giving him everything he wants. "Fuh–fuck me good…"

"Ahh shit..."

You know you're a drug to certain decent men. But to him, you're a forbidden fruit in all its aspects. 

A calm, collected captain who enjoys wide respect, eyeing an edgy, younger woman from the tech department? That's not how this was supposed to go. Thirsting for someone who did what they wanted, looked just the way they wanted, walked this earth like a dark fairy – that's not his usual go, surely. He was supposed to settle down with a proper lady. If he were to settle down at all.

"I've dreamed of this," you whisper in his ear, lips moving just enough to deliver your secret to him.

"Yeah..? Me too," he gives your throat more love with a velvet growl. "Know I shouldn't, but–"

"Shh. Don't–don't…" You grip him tighter, taste the spruce and salt as you breathe his neck. "It's good. It's all good."

He rumbles in approval. Your skin is raw from his beard; even the coarse hair dusting his thighs feels too rough on your skin. And your skin is used to being needled, shot full of ink right inside the dermis. But this… This is branding.

You're silk in his rough embrace, and plundered with no remorse. You sigh and moan, hug him... And then he dares to stop, panting and throbbing inside you.

"Darlin'. Where's the bed?"

The soft question makes you panic. If you go to bed and let him push inside you while you're lying on your back, if you brave a look into those eyes while he takes you, you'll develop more than just a horrid lust for this man. If he collapses on top of you, spent and spoiled while you're at your most vulnerable, you'll tie a string from your heart to his, and you can't, you just can't allow that to happen.

Because he's untamed too. He's not a man who settles down, he's not up for domestication; he's a wandering fire.

"No–no bed," you pant on his muscles, the shoulder that keeps you safely pinned on the wall. "John…? Please."

He's breathing wild too, disguises his surprise well.

"Alright."

He sounds disappointed, and it's not because he doesn't have the strength to maul you against that wall. The rejection stings him too. It makes you want to offer a truce, a little something. When he rocks you again, you graze your fingers up the back of his neck, knowing he will feel ripples across his scalp from your caress.

"We can smoke a cigar after," you propose, not knowing why your voice still comes out as an airy whisper. "Together. I'll pour you that drink…"

His chest swells with a deep breath, he huffs fire on the hollow trench between your collarbones.

"Fuck, woman…" 

It's dense syrup that surrounds you much like those shoulders and arms, that coarse hair, that bold male want.

"And after that I want you to…" You catch your breath and sound like a mouse with your next shy question. "Would you go down on me, John?"

It's like you're under a bear attack, but he stills; his head tilts a little to the side and meets your temple. 

"You wouldn't tease a man like this," he says. A soft warning, brimstone coated in velour, but the core of it is despair. So much need, so much forbidden, distant want… 

"Right? No more teasing."

He's still thinking that you're teasing him… That it's some kind of a joke that you want him.

"I'm serious... I want your mouth on me. I need your–"

"I'll put my mouth on you as soon as we're done here, love."

You have to bite your lips, suck them between your teeth to prevent another deprived moan from escaping.

"Want you to fuck me all night," you continue to whisper on his neck. You should shut the fuck up because it doesn't take a bed to tie that string from your heart to his. After all, they're right there, beating against each other through bone and skin and chest.

"Yeah? That's what you want?"

"Want you to… F-fuck me slow and good from behind and–"

You sniff. Whimper.

You should be ashamed: mewling for more when he's already buried inside you. What kind of a brat are you, wrapping your thighs around that narrow waist like you never want him to pull out?

And you're not crying. 

It's just that the cock inside you is throbbing against your walls as if he's making a home there, his hands dig into your ass cheeks like you're his already, the breath upon your sweat and skin feels far too affectionate. When exactly did a raw wall-fuck turn into such an affectionate, gentle taste of love?

And it's not enough. You want to climb on top of him every morning, ride him slowly and watch him unravel as the sun climbs the sky and coats that fur in gold.

"Could you do that? Please… John, please," you whimper and whine, beg like you're tame already. 

"I'll fuck you all night if that's what you want. Fill this pretty, tight cunt up every way you like."

It's coarse smoke. It caresses you until your legs start to shake. He adjusts his grip, drags the pull-outs like he drags those pulls from his tobacco. Keeps you nicely in place for him to drive back in–

"I'll fuck you 'till you cry, love. Yeah?"

He punctuates that promise with another good, fat thrust. You moan all tame now – a rippling stream, laughing and crying in his molten hold.

His cock fills you while your thighs quiver and tremble in his hands. Your pussy throbs; it sucks him already, the orgasm is seconds away, and your fingertips search for support but only slip over sweaty, hard muscle.

John. John.

"Fuh-…"

He spreads you a little. Those arms are pure iron as they mold you for him to plow. You know he can feel the waves, the way your cunt grips him with longer, deeper pulls as you start to sound downright pathetic.

"Just like that, just like… hah…"

"M-hm. Yeah," he bends the vowels, daubs them with smoke. "That's it. You're doing good. Doing so well my love."

He huffs between the thrusts that have turned into slow, intense love-making. He's making love to you – god, why does he have to be like this…

"Cum for me. Nice and pretty, yeah? Come on."

He encourages you with words, but you can't hear them anymore.

Heat coils in the pit of your core just before you burst with a heady scream.

The spasm is so sudden you almost hit your head on the wall. He's at your throat the minute it's exposed, and your scream turns into a weak wail when his tongue grazes your skin. It's blazing, and dips into the hollow between your collarbones like it's a shot glass full of scotch. Next thing you feel is fire, even some teeth on your neck.

And you thought Price might, just might be intense…

Your head drops as the blunt of the orgasm leaves you. Your feet unclasp, and next up would be some soft waves, but the man continues to fuck your shattered cunt and marshmallow soul with a good, intense pace. The words that pour out of your mouth are those of a brainless person.

"Ah–hah, God–"

"Where's that cheek now, mm..? Pretty little thing."

"John–h…"

The thrusts rub you against that wall like he wants to staple you there.

"So nice and good for me now, ain't ya? Cummin' on command…" An amused chuff right on your poor, chafed skin… "Begging for my mouth and cock."

You travel up and down in a limp heap, trying to hold on to him with weak limbs as he drives into you with a tight series of half-thrusts. Your legs hang loosely on the side, but he has no trouble carrying the full weight of you.

"Slow–slowly, Cap…" 

"Ahh fuck–"

He swears on your ink, right on the trotting pulse on your neck. Through the vapor of man sweat and rich smoke and a whiff of cedar trees bending in the wind, you feel him tense and thicken.

"The fucking things you do to me…" he pants with a low growl, hushed but intense. Your pussy answers with a good, demanding pull. 

"Fuck… fuck–!"

You're a limp doll between him and the wall when he comes. Pressed between a rock and a hard place, literally. His chest being the rock, an entire boulder that whips the oxygen from your lungs as he drives deep, his balls giving a few taut pulls against your ass as he empties himself into you with a satisfied, dry moan. A dark, ripe blossom, shooting straight to your core while you're sealed tight around him.

The world goes still after that; the only thing that moves is your breath and his, a refreshing hot breeze coursing through the stale air. The darkness of the room isn't half as snug as the safety of his arms.

Your fingers find his neck, the short-cut hair and the skin pounding with a rush of blood. He lets you go reluctantly, bends a little to set your feet back to the solid ground. He doesn't pull out, keeps huffing all over you even when you're returned back to the earth. 

And you never want to come back. Your cunt still throbs around him and cries a tiny, thick stream down your thigh. His upper body still pins you against that wall, his breaths still mist your skin, caress the red burns of his beard.

He feels so good. Too good…

When he pulls out, he does so with intense care. He gives you some space to catch your breath, and you finally notice he has fucked your legs into splinters.

"I'm…" You break the hush of heavy breathing with a soft laugh. More viscous load pushes out of you with it. "I don't think I can stand."

"Yeah? Tried to take you to bed," he muses softly, sounding annoyingly content with his achievements.

"Gotta admit it was a good idea."

"As was the nightcap," he rasps, voice drenched in soft smoke.

"We'll get there eventually."

"I have no doubt about that."

You give him a soft, warm chuckle as you cast your eyes between the crest of his pecs. Rough, tight muscle meets your soft breasts with heaving breaths, and teases your nipples to taut little points. The wet hair on his chest looks good paired with your inked, smooth skin… You two look so goddamn fine together.

"I hope I didn't make you deaf with that scream."

He stands at his full height, but tilts his head down and slightly to the side as if you were a new, interesting species he's just found on his travels.

"Wouldn't complain, love," he says. More wet syrup, just for you. He weighs you with his stare, curious and appeased, and you feel shy. For fuck's sake, you still feel shy even though this man was inside you just a moment ago. 

"The bed. Now be a good girl and tell me where it is."

"Down the…hallway." 

A delicate little whisper, again.

It's laughable, how the veteran of Task Force 141 turns you into something so dainty and meek. Captain John Price takes you against a wall like you're nothing but a doll, makes you purr and beg, reassembles you into a weak-willed woman who gets carried to bed. 

This is not how it was supposed to go...

He lifts you back in his lap while you continue to hold onto him like he's your prince Charming. A laugh spills on your lips when he tries to lay you gently on the bed and you manage to pull him down with you. You end up tumbling there in a sweaty, messy heap. 

"Knew you were trouble," he's smiling too as he settles beside you. You curl and wrap yourself around him, your bodies mold and curve together like they're made for each other.

He's so solid, so warm, the kind of man you'd love to fall asleep on every night. No more cold sides of the pillow, no more tossing and turning and trying to get the code out of your head. Just… this chest, those ember eyes burning in the night. Some soft breathing, a roaring engine standing still, waiting for you, just for you…

"I hope this wasn't a one time only occasion," you test the waters.

"No." He shifts a little, disentangles from you slightly. "Unless you–"

"No."

You bend in his arms like a young willow, cut his doubts off with a kiss. It's passionate, and so sloppy it threatens to make the same sounds as your cunt and his cock a while ago.

The hand on your hip tows you closer, then steals its way down your leg. You hike your thigh up, perfectly willing. You're a sticky mess, but so is he: his rock-hard thigh meets your still soaked pussy like these two have always belonged together. And this man's full fire has escaped you until now. There are so many hidden, wild things in him too. 

He would look so good on a Harley… He would look good on a motel bed after riding for days and days with you attached to him like an eloped dark bride. The nights would be smeared with hot sex and cinder and smoke, a dash of scotch on top, he could drink it from your lips. You would serve it to him from your mouth, round the taste a bit so that it wouldn't burn so much…

"Have you ever been to Alaska?" 

The liquor is leaving you, but you don't feel any more sober. The lava in your veins has only been replaced by another kind of fire.

"No."

"Would you like to go?"

"What'ya mean," he murmurs on your tongue, and you know he's hard again just from the thick lust coating his voice. "What kind of question is that?"

"I was just thinking."

"What were you thinkin', kid..?"

"Don't… call me that," you laugh. In truth, you're growing quite fond of it. It reminds you of old movies. "Here's looking at you, kid" and all that.

His laugh is a charred roll in his chest. To him, you're a brat – an unruly kitten – no matter what you say. 

"Kid. Why Alaska?"

He's curious. Borderline hooked. You steal a peek into those vulcan eyes. 

"You'd look good in Alaska. Old man."

"Really," he rumbles a soft purr against your heart. 

Another soft kiss follows. Affectionate… He plays time, but he's also a probing, scanning. You bloom in his embrace, unfurl on his lips like he just wrenched you wide. He could haul you to the cabin right now and you would only cook him dinner.

It's too late, even if you try to shift after such a kiss. Escape to press your cheek against that place between his pecs, the spot where the hair is darkest and thickest. You want to lick that valley where his heart meets his musk. That scent must be born from a good, stout heart.

"Would you take me with you…? If you ever decide to go."

It's a fragile question. A baring of the heart. It holds so much more than an inquiry about whether he would whisk you away on a secret leave. It's strings, pulling from your heart to his, taking root.

"Sure. But you're quite a handful, love."

"Is that so…?" 

You crawl over him as gracefully as you can. He allows you to straddle him, and of course he does. You're no threat; you're only a one woman show. The only thing he's probably missing right now is a glass of scotch and a thick roll of tobacco. 

He takes in the view with hunger: not satiated by that pent-up fuck, just like you're not... 

But then his hands come to rest on your thighs to check if they're still shaking. The touch bleeds possessiveness: it's a thoroughly absent-minded, instinctual attempt to reach for you. It tells you you're exactly where you belong. 

"You seem like the kind of woman who's not for the faint of heart," he says like you didn't just mewl in his arms like the tamest fucking housecat.

And perhaps that's what intrigues him. Contrasts. And even more than that, the odd place where black fuses into white, the gray area where everything is possible. The split-second moment when the skin accepts the ink and traps it in. 

Everyone always says you get buried with your tattoos. That you should think twice before staining your skin with such permanent hookups.

But the thing is, you get addicted to it. It's like standing on the edge of a cliff before a bungee jump. You know you'll never be the same person after you jump, and you know you can't leave that cliff without jumping. It's a stalemate until you clear your mind of doubt and just plunge.

And you don't want to leave this earth without getting stained and sweaty, without dipping your soul into the full experience. You're supposed to get a little dirty. This is Earth, after all.

Your fingers disappear somewhere in his slick fur. Sunrise is hours away, but his eyes spark aflame. They're always, always smoldering like the butt of his cigar. He's a man who causes wildfires at the end of the world – he's a reckoning, a flicker in the dark forest, roaring into a bonfire as soon as the wind passes through the trees.

And you've always loved fire. Wild, and free. The only thing that competes with such freedom is a wide, wild stream. 

"But you can handle me. Right?" Your fingers curl softly around the hair surrounding his navel. "Tame me and everything?" 

It's an offering that causes even fire to tilt its head in curiosity. In the end, you're not sure who tamed who.

"Someone has to," he grabs your hips with rich promise. 

You'll pour him that drink. Light him a cigar after his mouth is full of your taste, see how well it pairs with fire and smoke. You'll toast to the Harley, the crazy motel… 

And Alaska. 

[samandcolbyownme]

Hear me out- I'm on my period and thinking about how great Zach would be during it. Like he would spoil you with food and attention

Warnings: talk of period, swearing, Zach being Zach, fluff

Enjoy!

══════════════════

It was odd that you weren’t out of bed at 9:30 with your final alarm.

“Hey. Babe.” Zach whistles, “Are you coming or what?”

“No.” You mumble from under the blankets, “It’s a no go for anything today.”

You feel the bed dip down and you peak out from under the covers, “I got my period, and it hurts.” He tilts his head, “Ah. There’s why you’ve been a little bitchy.”

You roll your eyes, “get out.”

Zach leans in, “I’m joking. Okay. Now you get comfy. Pick a movie.” He pecks your head and gets up, “Do you want medicine?”

“Yes please.” You say as you move your way up to let in a comfortable position. You grab the remote from the night stand and switch the tv on.

A few minutes later, Zach comes back in, with not only your medicine and a drink, but with a heating pad, too.

He gives you the pills and you take them as you watch him plug in the heating pad and turn it on, “Be careful. This thing can get hot.”

You laugh at the parent mode coming out on him, “Thank you.” You lay the heating pad over your stomach and rest your arms over it.

You finally settle on a movie and look at the door, “Babe. You coming?”

“Yeah.” He yells back, “Hold your horses for another minute.”

“But I don’t have horses.” You whine with a laugh, “Zach. I need cuddles.”

He walks in, a bunch of snacks in his arms and he looks at you, “Whatever I’m here, you can put them in the stable.” He kicks the door closed and flicks off the lights, “Do you need anything else before I get into bed with you?”

You shake your head, “no, the only thing I need is you.”

He smirks, “You’re so cheesey.” You roll your eyes as you push the blanket back to make room for him, “Have you heard yourself speak?“

He thinks for a moment, “No, I normally just rapid fire.” He laughs, “Anyway, I got a variety of food because I wasn’t sure what the demons inside of you were craving, so I just covered all the basics, K?”

You look up at him, “Thank you. You did good, baby.”

He nods, “Cool. So what movie did you pick?”

══════════════════

Thank you so much for reading! Ilysm! Let me know how you liked it! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[justgrey]

Hello! I’d like to request the mercenaries with a fem mercenary reader who is a shapeshifter and has a pretty chaotic personality? Basically Nimona from the movie Nimona lol

Watched the movie finally, and now I'm gay for ballister. Thanks for that xoxo. be on the lookout for something on him because i want to chew him and hit him like a tennis ball

Also, it's safe to say I got a little stupid with this one 💀

Mercs with a chaotic! reader

Warnings : swearing, light mentions of gore, talk of body parts, medic.

CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS *jevil laughter*

Probably get along really well with Pyro and Scout not gonna lie because Pyro likes to burn shit (Even though I'm pretty sure they think they're spreading joy and colour) and Scout is pretty hyper in general, willing to go along with anything as long as it's fun.

*burns down barn*

"huddah huh huu hud."

"Yeah, loving the colour too, pally. Really makes the wood boom." *evil chuckles*

As soon as Pyro learns about your shapeshifting ability, they're all over you. They want you to play 3 different characters at their tea parties simultaneously and transform into a unicorn so that they can ride you into battle and fulfill their wildest dreams

"Hud hudda hu hubuh huuuuh HUDDAH!!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" *transforms into a unicorn* "Get on."

*excited hu noises*

"HUDDAHHHH!!"

Besties 💗🌈🔥✨️

Some of the older and quieter mercenaries are NOT gonna be having a field day with you and your silly little personality.

Sniper hates it THE MOST. He doesn't like people that much in general and can barely keep up with the hyperactive chaos that is you, so he mainly sticks to watching you burn shit down from afar.

"Did'ya really have ta' do that much?"

"Yeah. Why, you not liking it, pissboy?"

"..."

"That's what I thought. Don't be a hero, buddy."

Although he doesn't appreciate your snarky attitude, he likes how you can shapeshift. He really likes animals and will sometimes scope in on you when you transform, nodding with approval and whispering a little, "cool" that he hopes nobody hears.

Spy thinks you're a nuisance around the base but definitely sees the usefulness in your shapeshifting abilities since he kinda almost does the same damn thing, just with his goofy masks. He respects you for that, if anything, at all.

Do not ever expect to replace him or get remotely close to him in espionage, though. If you are at the same level as Nimona, you're not great at directly impersonating humans, and he will tease you about it.

"What was that, today?

"What was what?"

"The 'Oh Mon deu! Ack! Oohh! I dropped my baguette' if that was meant to be an impersonation of me, know that it was terrible, and my lawyer will be contacting you."

"I dunno, I think it was pretty accurate." *shrug*

Medic loves you. Sorry, not sorry. Loves you. Does get tired of you sometimes, but not all the time. He's generally also very *bzzz bzzz chaos organs* so he's happy to indulge in whatever you want to do which usually involves the absolute destruction of everything.

Medic is also incredibly fascinated by your shapeshifting ability. Do not sleep around this man while shape shifted because he's poking and prodding everywhere while you're out.

"Ohoho... how peculiar" *pokes open nerve*

"YEOUCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

*nervous chuckle as he hides a bucket of blood and from your view*

Engineer tries to be that guiding light he thinks you need. He's a friend, a father figure, a colleague, whatever you need. He's a nice Southern gentleman with a slightly insane twist. Encourages you to be careful around the others, but if you aren't, he's not complaining. Makes the job easier if everyone listens.

Heavy is pretty chill with you. He's neither annoyed nor pleased that you're around. He relatively keeps to himself, medic, and his guns.

Actually, do not touch his gun. Do not pretend to be his gun either.

Soldier and Demo like your charisma. You can be a pretty fun drinking partner for demo, and a nice soldier when you're willing to follow orders (which isn't usually) but as long as you get the job done with as much destruction as possible, Soldier is saluting you almost as much as he does the American flag that is hanging next to his bed.

"ANOTHER GREAT DAY, TODAY! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND I MIGHT RAISE YOUR STATUS, CADET!"

"SIR YES SIR! or something I dunno, fuck this is weird..."

*walks with soldier, ignoring the screams of the dammed behind you*

He makes you transform into an eagle and has you sit there on his arm for a while, admiring you fly. It's brought him close to tears on many occasions.

Whenever he gets married to Heavy's sister, Soldier is making sure that you are THERE as an Eagle. He'll pay you to fly across the sky and make majestic bird noises.

Overall, some very mixed experiences. But a fun concept either way.

[beanxiv]

NAGI X READER WHEN HE CALLS THEM A PAIN AND THEY GET SAD SO HE COMFORT THEM -🌷 anon

waiting ; nagi seishiro ✩࿐

warnings: hurt/comfort (im so bad at writing hurt/comfort so pretend this is good), petnames, nagi being mean (at the beginning), communication issues :/, established relationship

notes: nagi is definitely the type to bottle in all of his frustration and then take it out on you unintentionally, but its ok i can change him.

wc: 1.9k

"sei, can we watch a movie together?" you sit on one end of the couch while nagi lays on his stomach next to you (feet by your thighs and head facing the opposite arm rest) taking up the rest of the couch. his nose is buried in his phone screen, explosions and other video game sounds blasting from the speaker.

"uhhm, 'kay. lemme finish this round." your boyfriend mumbles, not bothering to look over his shoulder at you.

you sigh, but decide to stay patient. "okay, baby." you fiddle with the tv remote as you wait. when a couple minutes pass you tilt your head to glimpse at nagi's face. "done yet, shiro?"

"no. wait."

you frown, "okay.. but you've been playing for an hour before i asked you to watch a movie and you said you'd finish this round fifteen minutes ago."

"oh, my bad. i accidentally started a new round. i have t'finish the round now, can't pause an online game. just gimme a few more minutes." he still barely acknowledges you, nothing more than a slight shrug of his shoulders.

when another ten minutes pass your patience starts to wear thin. "seishiro, do you want to watch a movie together or—"

"i said wait a few minutes. the round is still goin— ah, fuck! you made me die.." nagi clicks his tongue in annoyance. pushing up off his elbows to sit up and angrily tossing his phone on the carpet. "goddamn, y/n. you're such a pain sometimes."

you blink, an ache building deep in your chest. "what?" you swallow the lump in your throat away. "i asked you if you wanted to watch a movie. you said yes and told me to wait. i waited fifteen minutes and asked again. you told me to wait. i waited again. i stayed patient for thirty minutes. now you're calling me a pain? after barely even looking at me today? you haven't talked to me since you came home from practice three hours ago!" you scoff in spite of yourself, "..really, seishiro. if you wanted space, you could have told me."

you see the weight of nagi's words start to process in his eyes, "shit— i didn't mean that, y/n. wait—"

"i'm tired of waiting, nagi." with that you slide off the couch and walk into your shared bedroom, slamming the door shut before nagi can see tears of frustration threaten to spill over your eyes.

when the door shuts loudly nagi flinches but doesn't move from the couch. he sits there, swearing under his breath and running a hand down his face. "i'm such a fucking idiot.." he wishes he could kick himself for his stupid mouth. the image of your face completely falling into bitter sorrow when he called you a pain replays in his head. regret freezes his veins, and his own heart starts to ache each time your expression fills his brain.

he swears at himself again before jumping off the couch and rushing to your shared bedroom. he hesitates but manages to knock twice on the door.

"y/n, baby. i'm so sorry. please," he chews on his lip. please what? he doesn't even know what he's asking for. please open the door, please forgive me, or please talk to me? he doesn't know. he'll take any option at the moment.

he hears you shuffle to the door and sniff. are you crying? his heart breaks a little bit more at the thought of you hurt because of his idiocy.

"nagi, i meant what i said." you still haven't opened the door. but talking through the wood is better than nothing. "i'm tired of this. it's not the first time this has happened. you've ignored me a lot before. i understand if you want time for yourself, i do too sometimes. but don't tell me you're going to do something with me and not mean it."

"i know, y/n. i'm sorry, i just.." nagi isn't known for his way with words. he's not used to voicing his every thought. but he's willing to make the effort to fix his mistake and make it up to you. "practice sucked today. i was in a shitty mood after and i took it out on you when i shouldn't have."

he hears you sigh. the lock on the door clicks and you pull the door open. nagi searches your face for any indication of your reaction. his heart drops at the sight of your red, puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

he wants to pull you tight against himself— kiss the hurt away— but he holds himself in place. he doesn't want to push his limits until you completely forgive him.

"why didn't you just tell me? we've been dating for so long now, do you still not feel comfortable enough to tell me things?"

"no! i do. i just— today was so stressful, i just wanted to lock myself up in the house and play games to get my mind off of it. i didn't realize i'd been ignoring you all day, i'm sorry."

you let out a laugh that doesn't quite reach your eyes, "see? nagi, you could have told me all of this hours ago. none of this would have happened." you have a bitter look in your eyes that tells nagi you're still upset. "it would've been that easy. just a simple 'hey, y/n i had a rough day today, and i'm not really in the mood to do anything today.' and i would have respected that and moved on."

he steps forward and takes your hands in his, "angel, i'm sorry. really sorry for calling you a pain. i swear i didn't mean it. it was— i was projecting my frustration onto you when i should have just communicated it and found an output a different way. you're the farthest thing from a pain. you're— you're honestly the reason why i'm living my life," nagi breathes out a laugh. "if it weren't for you my routine would just be wake up, football, games, eat, sleep, repeat. and not only that, you're beautiful, inside and out. and you make me laugh, and you make really good food for me, and you help me take care of choki. actually, not only that— you help me take care of myself too. honestly, i don't know if i could survive without you, y/n. so please, please forgive me, angel."

you chew on your bottom lip, "nagi—"

nagi winces, "and please stop calling me that."

this pulls a ghost of a smile onto your lips which sends a flutter through nagi's heart. you think to yourself for a moment and the smile fades slightly. "seishiro, a relationship works two ways. you know that. for it to work you have to talk to me. tell me everything— if practice went well, tell me. if it was absolute shit, still tell me. if you feel like doing something, tell me. if you don't, tell me again. i didn't start dating you just for the title, sei. i want to be with you. i want to know what makes you happy, what stresses you out— i want to know everything you'll allow me to. in exchange, i'll trust you with my heart too."

nagi presses his lips together in a tight line, "i trust you with everything. you know i do. fuck, i trust you with some things more than i trust myself." nagi sighs through his nose, his eyes a window of rare vulnerability. a window that opened only for you. "i can tell you anything, y/n, i know i can. i just don't know how. it's not something i do. i mean before you moved in with me, i lived alone during high school-- until blue lock-- and i didn't talk to anyone except reo in school. i'm not used to talking about myself and what's on my mind. the only thing i ever spilled my thoughts to was choki— my cactus for fucks sake," nagi laughs dryly. he felt pathetic telling you something so stupid. it reminded him why he kept his heavier thoughts to himself. but...

"well, you have me now. ah, and choki too if it helps," is that a smile? you're smiling— only slightly, but a smile nonetheless.

does that mean you've forgiven him? no... even if you do forgive him, he still owes you a proper apology. he wont let you walk away without it.

"i think you're a better listener than choki," nagi admits. when he expected you to scoff in his face and turn away, you stayed and continued talking with him. "i just took to long to understand that. and i promise to work on it. i'm sorry, angel. i never want to hurt you, i only want to see you happy."

"thank you, 'shiro." you murmur, finally looking up at him. nagi searches your expression for any remnants of pain and he sees none, as soon as he sees the soft look in your eyes he exhales, all of his worry leaving his chest. you smile slightly, squeezing his hand a bit. "i accept your apology. and ill try to be patient too, i understand it takes time to completely share all of your thoughts and feelings, so i won't push if you don't want to tell me anything, but at least tell me that much if you don't feel like talking."

nagi nods, "i will. i promise, i swear i'll work on it. thank you, yn. thank you for forgiving me." he can't help himself anymore, and pulls you snug to his chest, his arms right around your waist as he buries his head into the crook of your neck. "i love tou so much.. i would beat myself up if i lost you because i'm a moron."

you giggle a bit, your hand coming up to card through his hair. "mhm, you are kind of a moron."

"yeah?" nagi chuckles back, sighing softy. you feel his breath fan against your neck and pull him from the crook of your neck to look at him.

"yeah, you are. but as long as we both work on communicating, we'll be okay." a grin tugs at your lips as you look at your boyfriend.

nagi nods, his soft white hair swishing a bit as he does. "i promise t'communicate better, angel. or at least i'll try my best for you."

"and that's all i'm asking for," you murmur, the grin still on your face as you lean towards nagi to plant a kiss on his lips.

nagi returns your kiss before pulling away to look at you, "you wanted t'watch a movie together earlier.. right?"

"are you sure?" you chew on your lip, looking at him with a furrow between your brows that he wants to kiss away. "if you're still not feeling up to it, it's oka-"

"i want to," nagi interrupts, pulling you in by your waist to kiss between your brows. "so let's go cuddle and watch something."

taglist : @astruosie @saesins @dreamlessimp @hanmasdolly

©beanxiv — all rights reserved. copying, reposting, translating, and modifying in any platform or by any means is not allowed.

[moonydoodlez]

valentino and velvet giving the reader one of those remotes that work on all different tvs so they can mess with vox without him knowing whos doing it

Fucking Annoying

Pairing: Vox x F!reader

Warnings: language.. porn??

Wordcount: 534

“God he's annoying, why the hell do I love him?” You groan, throwing yourself onto the couch. Velvette grabs your legs laying them on her legs as you slumped on the couch.

“Yes.. I ask myself that daily” Valentinos accented voice flows through the air. 

Your groan loudly trying to drown out his voice. Valentino laughs as he watches you. “You know i might have something for you” He says seriously this time.

“I swear to god if it's a gag gift again.. Or a literal gag, I will kill you in your sleep.

He rolled his eyes, narrowing them at you. “You give someone a sparkly gag once and now they think you’ll get them it again” He mutters to himself.

"It wasn't once" Velvette finally speaks.

"Maybe twice" Valentino says looking through a box he pulled out from the cupboard.

"Yeah more than twice" You laughed.

"Found it" He yelled as he pulled out a tv remote.

"Wow a remote, crazy" You said sarcastically. You watched Valentino roll his eyes as vox walked into the room. Valentino quickly shoved the remote into his pocket.

"Hey voxxy" You murmur not making eye contact with him. Vox ignored you before walking to the other side of the room and sitting in a chair away from the group.

Valentino sat next to you before grabbing your hand and carefully slipping the remote into it. "Just use it and you'll see" He whispers.

"If this is a sex thing ill murder you" You glare at him before pressing a button. You were praying that this didn't end up being some sex thing.

You jumped as suddenly Vox's tv head made a loud jarring noise. Your head snapped to Valentino who was trying not to laugh.

"Who the fuck did that" He yelled rushing over to you guys.

The three of you stared at him with shock confusion. "What do you mean my love".

He glared at you already sick and tired of the games you were playing today.

You pressed another button not quite sure what was gonna happen. Your mouth dropped as suddenly there was video of two girls and lots of explicit noises. "Oh wow" You said not knowing what to say but continued watching his screen.

"Oh fuck you guys" Vox said before turning the explicit video off. "I will kill whoever's doing this.. if its you... I'm doing more than killing you" He said smirking down at you. You could tell he knew it was you.

You gulped as he stared you down. Finally he left making you quickly give the remote back to Valentino. "I have uh business to attend to" You said as you rushed out after Vox.

"Oh yes business, of course sorry" Valentino yelled watching you run out the room.

You realized he hadn't walked further then the door because he expected you to meet up with him. He extended his hand out to you, which of course you took. "I knew it was you" He whispered as he pulled you into your shared room.

Suddenly the explicit video was back. You tried not to laugh as he groaned and ran out of your bedroom to kill Valentino.

Masterlist Vox Masterlist

[romanestuffsposts]

hii !!!

could you maybe do reader feeling super self conscious about her little space so she tries to stay big and she ends up breaking all the little rules (swearing, not listening, etc.) and when papa and daddy start to punish her, she just breaks and slips into little space

if not, that's okay !!

i love your writing either way <3

Hi there love! 💜

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you love it! I'm sorry you had to wait so long, i hope you like how I write your request ❤️

Enjoy <3

****

Warnings : angst, bratty little reader, angry daddies, soft punishment, comfort, cuddles, kisses, pet names, curses, little reader swears, fluff

Pairings : Daddies!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader

Summary : It's hard sometimes to do things but that doesn't mean you be mean either

****

"Fuck!"

This caused your Daddy to stop walking toward the laundry room. Just as he walked past your door, he heard the most horrific word he could hear leaving your mouth.

He turns his head toward the door and sees you throwing the bag of dolls on the ground. He frowns and tries to stay calm, he puts the laundry on the ground and softly knock on your door "can I know why you said what I heard you say, little miss ?" he asks crossing his arms against his chest

You're too mad at yourself to even thinking about what he said or even about what you just said. "Notin' jus hard to put 'way" you mumble not even looking at him. You walk around your toys and watch how this could possibly make it easier

Your Papa asked you to clean your playroom before dinner because there were a lot of mess since you played all day long yesterday with your friend and you were too tired to clean afterward.

Your Daddies weren't strict about that, they know that if there were a mess you would've eventually clean it but they always reminded you, just in case. If they see you're too tired or too sick to clean it, then they let you rest until you're able to do it. They know that playing can be exhausting, especially when you play your little heart out like you usually do.

But it's not because they let you deal with that schredule yourself that it doesn't have to be done! They always have an eye behind to see if it's correctly did and always praises you when it is.

"Do you need help cleaning your playroom ?" he decides to not yells or punish you for swearing. He knows you probably didn't even noticed you did because you didn't apologise and you always do. You're probably tired or super hungry and lose all your patience because of that

You groan in defeat but shake your head. It's the only thing you have to do, it's the only thing you're fully responsable of, you can do it. It's just harder today than another day but you will make it!

"Why don't you keep going after eating, baby ? You'll have more strengh to do it and with that, you could have a break from your cleaning" he proposes and watches you turning toward him, a pretty little pout on your face

"come one" he nods his head toward himself and gives you his hand "let's go eat the delicious meal Papa cooked for us"

~

Later that night, you finally finished cleaning your playroom and are excited to go downstairs and watch your cartoons with your Daddies. That's what motivated you at cleaning your room.

You happily run down the stairs and are ready to hear a warning from your Papa to not run in the stairs because he doesn't want to see you hurting yourself by falling. When you enter the living room, you make your way to the couch and wiggle your body in between your Daddies.

They keep their attention on their documentary but your Papa wraps his arms around your shoulder and your Daddy rests his hand on your thighs.

You look around for the remote and when you finally spot it, in the hand of your Papa, you fall across his laps and try to grab it. Only this sudden movement of you cause your Papa to look down at you and move a little in surprise. His hand goes further away from you and you groan "Papaaa"

"What are you doing sweetness ?" he asks stroking your back, you still have your upper body laying on his laps

"Wanna wach catoons" you whine and try to grab the remote a second time but this time your Papa moves his hand in purpose "We're already watching something, princess. We watched your cartoons all week, we would like to have one evening where we watch something Daddy and Papa want" he explains with a gentle voice

Your face fell and you sat back, you cross your arms against your chest and stare deadly at the screen.

It sucks what they're watching. You don't like the big and weird voice who explains what you see in the tv and you don't like that it's not cartoons.

Your Daddies let you pouting, they focus back on the tv and know you will eventually calm down and soon cuddles their sides.

But... Not exactly. When your Papa tries to wrap his arm around your shoulder again to pull you closer to him, you throw his arm away and stare at him with fire in your eyes.

His own eyes narrow down at you "be careful. I'm not gonna be patient all night, you understand ? Drop that attitude right now. You're not a spoiling baby, it's not what we taught you. So I advise you to stop it right now" he warns

Your Daddy looks down at you and warns you with his eyes too.

You watch them turning their attention back toward the movie and you suddenly feel bad. All you wanted was to spend an evening with them after a hard day, you don't really care about what you're watching while doing so right now. You just need to feel their arms around you, nothing more.

You turn your gaze slowly toward your Papa and see his frown on his face as he watches tv. You upset him.. Of course you did.

You lean against your Papa and hold his arm as you look up at him with needy eyes "papaa" you whisper "wanna cuddles"

He shakes his arm away from your grip but doesn't look down at you when he talks "you should've thought about that before. I'm not in the mood to cuddle, tonight" he coldly says

Your face fell even more and a hurt look run across your features. You sat back on the couch and look down at your laps as you try to keep your tears and your trembling lip for yourself.

Your Papa is upset with you right now but maybe your Daddy not ?

You turn toward him and do the same movement that you just did with your Papa "Daddy" you whisper " 'm missed you" you whimper quietly, hoping he would comfort you

But he doesn't answer you, he keeps looking at the tv, a frown on his face too. After some seconds, he pulls his arm away from your hold without sparing you a glare.

Now the feeling of hurt for being ignored by your Daddies, the persons who are supposed to keep your feelings safe and not destroy them are unbearable to keep.

You sit back on the couch and mumble a little 'assholes' under your breath.

That was it. Your Daddies heard you, the both of them and this time, they can't ignore that. Your Papa jumps off of the couch making you flinch and grabs your arm. He yanks you away from the couch causing you to let out a cry

He starts to drag you upstairs and you look behind you, hoping to find help with your Daddy but only find him glaring back at you when you turn toward him.

Seeing the mean glare he shoot you and feeling the way your Papa is angry at you cause you to let out all the tears you had kept today. You cry all the way upstairs.

Once you're in your bedroom, your Papa turns around and puts you in the corner "do you think you're a big girl ? That's it, isn't it ? You're big and respinsable so you can used that kind of words, right ? I don't even think you know what does that really mean!" he shouts

You tremble in the corner as you sobs uncontrolably. You're too scared to look behind you, you just stare at your feet.

"If you want to be a big girl then we'll treat you like one" his harsh and serious voice hit you in the back "big girls don't need a bedtime story before going to bed right Bucky ?"

"definitly not" he says, his arms crossed against his chest as he stare at your back

More tears left your eyes and you close them as your sobs are fighting your chest and throat to get out. It's almost hard to breath because of them.

"And doesn't big girls sleep in their own bed ? In their own room instead of sneaking into her Daddies's ?" he asks looking at Bucky

"They sure do" he nods

"and i'm sure big girls are really tired from their hard and long day at work so they go to bed earlier" Steve says staring back at you

"so let's recap. No bedtimes stories for two weeks, you sleep in your own room and go to bed earlier for two weeks. You don't watch tv because of the curse you said earlier in your playroom. If I hear a cry about it in those two weeks, we double the sentence. You understand me ?" he harshly says making you flinch

You slide down until your sitting on the ground, your body shake with the sobs and you're body is curled around himself "not fair!" you yell "Just wanted cuddles! Waited for it all day! you didn't wanted to give me one" you sob not caring anymore about what you say "I had a hard day and waited for you to cudd' me, needed you" you shake from your sob, your eyes are cover in tears and you can't seems to be able to take your breath back

"I sowwy I was bad" you cry "didn't mean to. Don' know wha 'm doin' anymo" you close your eyes and hide your face in your knees "jus wanted daddies wis me" you whisper rocking yourself "jus wanted paise fo cweanin' 'm room betause was so hard" you cry harder now

Your Daddy looks at your Papa, a now different look on his face, a concern one. Steve mirrors his expression but stay frozed on his spot.

Bucky comes sit behind you and wraps his huge arms around your trembling body. He leans you against his chest and rocks you "calm down, baby. You're okay" he whispers in his ears "you did such a good job today at cleaning your room! I'm sorry we didn't show it better to you" he kisses your ear "but that doesn't mean you had any rights of saying what you said" his sweet and calm voice help at calming you down.

He strokes your head as he keeps shushing you and rocking you "we all have our wrongs in this situation but even if Daddies didn't understood what you wanted from them, it doesn't mean you can say those ugly things, okay ?"

You nod "I sowwy Daddy" you sob "didn mean to be bad"

"it happens, babygirl. But what matter is that you apologise" he looks down at you and tilts your head so you would look up at him "thank you for having apologise" he kisses your nose

"now go apologise to your Papa and we'll talk about the punishment after" he pushes his forehead against yours before helping you turning around. You look at your Papa and have a fear feeling when you look up at him, he's so tall and so intimidating.

Steve understands and kneels down on the ground, you slide yourself to him and snuggle against his chest, you wrap your arms around his waist and hold him tightly "sowwy Papa" you cry "didn wanted to hurt you. I sowwy, very sowwy" you sniff

You melt further into him when he wraps his arms around you and hold you closer to him "thank you, princess" he kisses the top of your head "you understand why we acted like this ?" he want you to understand why they act this way toward a little word who probably didn't meant what it really meant to you. He doesn't want you to stay confuse about it

"said bad word" you say looking up at him. He nods "yes you did, sweetie" he sighs and looks at Bucky.

After they shared a look they both undertsand, your Daddy walked toward you and lifts you in his arms. He walks toward your bed and sits on his so his back is against the wall. He sits you in between his legs and lifts your shirt to exposed your bare belly. He starts stroking it in a way that calms you "since we have something we need to apologise for too, how about we change a little the punishment" your Daddy proposes as Steve sits on the edge of the bed, his hand caressing your leg

"you go to bed earlier for two week and no tv for a week. Those are the punishment for the bad words. We removed the rest of the punishment because a part of your reaction is understandable. Do you understand ?" he asks, peering down at you.

You look down at your fingers and nod "we're sorry we ignored you earlier" your Papa says causing you to look up at him "we know how much it hurts you to be ignored and we still did. We're really sorry Baby" He kisses your forehead

"since there no tv for a week and it start right now, how about we read a bounches of stories before bed time ?" your Daddy asks, a smile on his face

You look up at him and he sighs in relief when he sees your not so sad face anymore. You nod and your Papa climbs in bed and rests you in between them as your Daddy grabs the first book

You snuggle closer to them and close your eyes, enjoying the comfort of their arms around you and their hands wondering around your body, giving you massages and sweet strokes

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Chapter 5

Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she knows for a fact that anything involving Harry gets messy.

Chapter Summary: Things are changing, for the entire world, so Harry and Cassidy navigate their friendship through the new situation that everyone now finds themselves in. Will things ever be the same as they were?

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, Covid-19, lockdowns & quarantines, mild injury, potential jealousy, wine consumption

[ present - March 2020 ]

With her phone held in front of her face, Cassidy quickly scans the vicinity of the room, through the door frame, making sure Cecelia is not within earshot.

"At least half of the country is on edge." She states quietly, eyes still glancing around to look out for her toddler. The little one doesn't need to hear or sense any concern that is present in their current conversation.

"It's the same here. The new travel ban isn't helping." Harry replies, sighing as he dips his head down. "It's the uncertainty of things. No one knows what's going to happen. It's as if the future is hazy."

"Hopefully it's nothing to be too concerned with." She responds, yet feeling a mild tightness in her chest. Just like Harry said, it's the uncertainty that worries her.

"On to a more positive subject, if things settle down, are you doing anything for Mother's Day? It's in a few weeks, yeah?"

Cassidy's shoulders raise in a shrug, an odd and solemn feeling rushing over her. She's never truly celebrated the holiday. When she was younger, her father obviously never did anything for her mum. Not anything good, anyway. Cassidy tried to do fun things with her, but it wasn't much. When she became a mum herself, there wasn't another person in the home besides her baby girl, so no one else was there to share in the traditional festivities of the day. Not that she wanted a big fuss anyway. Besides, this is the first year that Cecelia is even remotely aware that there is anything special about it. Needless to say, it has yet to be anything but another day of the week up until this point, so she hasn't thought to do anything specific.

"I don't know. It's like Valentine's Day, we'll probably just keep it simple."

"Nope." Harry states with a strong shake of his head. "I'm texting my mum."

"Don't you dare, Harry!" Cassidy exclaims, wishing she could reach through the screen to stop his plan from going any further, whatever it may be.

"You can't just do nothing for Mother's Day, Cass! You're a good mum! You should do something!"

"Harry, I swear to god-"

"Too late!" He proclaims triumphantly, that smug little smirk appearing immediately. Cassidy gives him the most intense glare she possibly can, hoping he can feel it somehow on the other end of the video chat.

"I hate you."

"That's not very nice…" He pouts, causing him to receive an eye roll of an unamused nature. "May I please talk to Cece? She's much more pleasant."

"Yeah, well, that's because she actually likes you." Cassidy quips, mimicking his mischievous smirk to add to her sarcastic insult.

"Hey…" Harry states. "Bloody hell. You're a grump today…"

Cassidy chews on the corner of her bottom lip. She knows she's being a bit too snappy. She isn't meaning to. All the talk, and worry, about this new virus that is spreading rapidly, it's getting to her a bit more than she expected. It doesn't help that she just started her menstrual cycle, and that Cecelia woke up multiple times during the night with a sudden onset of bad dreams.

"Sorry about that." She sighs, looking up to her phone, finding Harry's eyes attempting to flicker over her features through the video call. "It's just that things aren't really going very well today."

"Do you… you don't have to… but do you want to talk about it?"

Much to her annoyance, Cassidy cannot help the small flutter in her stomach at his concern and willingness to help. It hasn't even been that long but he really has become one of her closest friends.

"It's…" She chuckles, feeling just slightly awkward enough to stop herself before talking to him about her physical female issues. "Woman stuff."

"Ah. Okay." Harry responds, nodding as if he understands exactly what she means. Though, he might. He grew up with two women in the household, and has obviously dated a number of them too. Even still, it's not something she's willing to go into detail about.

"Also, Cece didn't sleep well last night." Her lips tense together in an awkward smile, and Harry presents a more sincere pout at the new information.

"That's no good." He replies, a slightly sad tone to his words.

"I'm sure she really would love to talk to you, actually." She admits, no longer with her comical demeanor.

"Alright. Send me over to her." He smiles, causing Cassidy to do the same.

She gets up from the edge of her bed, walking into the living room where she, of course, finds her daughter colouring across multiple pages of paper.

"Hey Bug, Harry wants to say hi."

Cecelia immediately drops her crayons and bounces in her place on the floor, waiting for her mum to bring over the phone. Cassidy giggles at her daughter's excitement and looks at her phone to switch the camera view for Harry to see the little girl's anticipation.

Suddenly, she is halted and instantly feels a shooting pain through her foot, originating from her pinky toe. Her hands fly up and she turns around to watch in agony as her phone lifts into the air and then falls onto the floor, smacking down against the tile in the kitchen.

"Oh for fu-... for crying out loud!" She shouts, holding back the true words she wants to release, for the sake of setting a good example for her daughter.

"Umm… hello? What happened? It's dark over here." She hears Harry say as she wobbles over and retrieves her device. "Are… are you alright?"

"I stubbed my damn toe." She growls, turning it over to find the back camera cracked all the way through. Shattered would be a better description. "And the camera is broken."

"Is it salvageable?"

"I doubt it. I can't do much about it anyway. I don't have the time right now to get a new one. Figures." She sighs, grinding her teeth down enough to feel pain in her jaw. She is usually better at handling or at least hiding her frustration, but her hormones and lack of sleep, as well as everything going on in the world, have just built up inside and this was the thing to tip her over. "Nothing is going my way today."

For some reason, she brushes off the phone, as if the dusting off would solve her problems, and then walks back over to Cecelia, whose eyes are wide open, clearly trying to use her three year old brain power to understand what just unfolded in front of her.

"Is Harry still on da phone?" Cecelia asks, her face changing to one ready for disappointment.

"Yes he is." Her mum replies, flipping the camera view back to face her, handing the device over to her daughter, and plopping down onto the sofa behind her.

"Harry!"

"Hello Cece!" He exclaims back, with just as much enthusiasm as he received. "What are you doing today?"

As Cecelia lifts up each of her drawings to proudly show them off, Cassidy examines her now throbbing toe, discovering the nail half snapped off, and she grimaces at the pain.

She leans forward and rests her elbows on her thighs, pinching her nose between her finger and thumb, squeezing her eyes shut. This isn't the worst thing to happen to her, and it isn't the worst day she's ever had. Not even close. Quite a few from her childhood could easily win that title. But, the sense of feeling overwhelmed still manages to hit her hard, and tears begin to sit on her lower lash line.

"Yeah, but Mummy helped-ed me when I had da bad d'eams."

"You have a very good mum." Harry states, causing Cassidy's head to snap up, seeing his gaze switch between her and Cecelia. His subtle smile pulls her out from the downward spiral of negativity, just enough to straighten her posture.

"She's da best mummy ever!" Her daughter exclaims, and Cassidy's eyes begin to water again, forming out of gratitude now instead of helplessness.

"Could you give the phone back to your mum, please?"

"Yeah, 'kay. Buh-bye Harry!" Cecelia waves to the forward facing camera, thankfully still working for this interaction, and hands the phone back to Cassidy. She quickly swipes a finger over each cheek, clears her throat, and lifts up the device to be in full view of the man on the other end.

"Cass, are you sure you're okay?" He asks, so much compassion in his voice that even the hardest of hearts would not be able to reject it. She's almost positive that statement would have changed her mind about him when they were younger. Possibly.

"I'll be alright." She replies, unsure of the honesty behind her answer, but certain that she does not want to burden him with any of these minimal problems.

"I'm here to help if you need me, okay? Well, I'm here, in Los Angeles, but the sentiment still remains." He chuckles, and Cassidy cannot hold back the small laugh she instinctively lets out.

"Thank you." She replies, knowing his generous heart, and not being one to hold back from doing what he can for a friend.

"No problem. But I should get going, and get a bit of sleep."

"Wait… what time is it there…?"

Harry pulls his lips inward, tightly, and closes his eyes, being accompanied by a subtle shake of his head.

"Harry…"

"It's 1 in the morning." He utters, scrunching up his face with the admission.

"Oh my god, Harry! We wouldn't have rung if we knew what time it was there! Why did you answer the phone in the middle of the night?"

"I couldn't ignore a call from one of my best friends, and her mum!"

"Piss off. You're horrible!"

"And you're still a grump. G'night!"

Cassidy rolls her eyes and watches Harry give a quick wink before reaching in front of him and ending the call. She locks the screen and reaches to place it in her pocket when she feels a notification cause her phone to buzz. She brings it back around and opens her messages to see a couple of texts from Anne.

🗨️ Anne: come over on mother's day

🗨️ Anne: and that's non-negotiable

"Oh for fucks sake." She whispers. "I'm going to kill him."

•••

Curled up on the couch in a blanket, fingers tapping away on the laptop sitting on her thighs, Cassidy groans at the sudden rapping at the front door. The thought crosses her mind to ignore the stranger on the other side, but the knocking continues, so she figures an answer to their persistence will shut it down sooner.

She angrily swings the door open, ready to scowl at the intrusion, when she is halted by the sight of her best friend.

"Bloody hell, CJ!" Gemma exclaims, her eyes wide. "Why weren't you answering the door?"

"I was trying to avoid the annoying person who was interrupting my day." Cassidy chuckles, feeling thankful it was simply her friend, and slightly guilty that she didn't respond to her sooner.

"Annoying?" Her friend drops her jaw in disbelief. "Bit rude considering I brought you some coffee!"

Cassidy's eyes travel down to the to-go cups in her friend's hands, and can already feel the warmth of the drink inside.

"Just let me in and then drink this immediately, for fucks sake." Gemma adds, bringing Cassidy's eyes back up as she opens the door.

Gemma makes her way in and directly over to the sofa, instantly settling herself in as Cassidy takes a seat to the side of her.

"So, what's up?" She asks, taking a sip of beverage she has just been handed.

"I can't just visit my best friend?" Gemma replies.

Cassidy immediately lets out a laugh. Despite loving to spend as much time together as they can, and do, she knows her friend too well to ignore the expression all over her features.

"Not when your face looks like that!" Cassidy points out. Gemma opens her mouth in dramatic fashion, attempting to portray offense at Cassidy's assumption of ulterior motives.

"Fine. I heard that you're spending Mother's Day with me and Mum…" Gemma states. Cassidy subtly grumbles at Harry's sneaky plan to get her to celebrate the holiday. She definitely plans to give him a few words about inconveniencing his own family, just to get her out of the house. "I was hoping you could help me figure out what I can get for her."

"Shit." She responds, thankful that her daughter is currently at daycare and not within earshot of the curse words that just have, and will most likely continue, to be uttered during their conversation.

"Right? Why is she so difficult to buy for?" Gemma whines, pouting as if she were a toddler herself, again.

"She's just always so fucking generous that she never wants or asks for anything for herself."

The pair laugh at the notion of complaining about how selfless Anne is, though they love her for it. Cassidy likes to think that Cecelia's contentment for anything and everything she receives has come from the influence of that wonderful woman. Neither Anne nor Cecelia care too much about what they have or are doing, as long as it's with the people closest to them, which sparks a small idea.

"Why don't we treat her to a fancy afternoon tea time somewhere?" Cassidy perks up with excitement, one she can actually get on board with if the celebration must include herself. "She's always wanted to go to Claridge's, right?"

"Yes! That's perfect!" Gemma exclaims, pulling her phone out swiftly and bringing it in front of her. "I'm going to tell Harry so he can pitch in."

"You're making him contribute? He's not even here." Cassidy chuckles.

"So? She is his mum too… and I'm pretty sure his bank account can handle it."

Her statement is true, and Cassidy is once again reminded of just how big a star her friend Harry is. It boggles her mind that she grew up with him, that she actually grew up with the now famous Harry Styles, because she still doesn't really think of him that way unless and until it's brought to her attention in certain situations. But, she realizes that as his career continues growing, his celebrity status is a fact that is becoming more and more prominent to her.

Cassidy takes another sip of her coffee and a sudden knock at the door causes both of them to immediately snap their attention towards that direction.

"I have no idea who that could be…" She states, turning back to her friend as if Gemma would have more of a clue.

"So then answer the bloody door, CJ." Gemma chuckles, rolling her eyes as her thumbs type out a message on her phone.

She gets up, hastily making her way over, and opens the door to find a man standing in front of her with a decent sized box in his hands.

"Miss James? Miss Cassidy James?" The man asks, and as she looks over his attire, she notices that he doesn't appear as someone who usually makes deliveries.

"Umm… yes, that's me…" She responds timidly, only leaving the door open enough to view the stranger on the other side.

"Excellent. I have a package here for you from Mr. Styles." He explains, lifting the box in full view with a pleased smile on his face.

"I'm sorry, what?"

The man looks down to the object in his hands, glancing over the information typed out on the printed label.

"Mr. Styles asked me to deliver this to you as soon as it arrived." The man clears his throat, which causes Cassidy to shift in place. "He said that he didn't want just anyone to bring it to you and to personally make sure you received it."

Her mouth opens slightly but her brain seems to be unable to form words. Without her ability to function normally, she gives the man a simple nod to thank him, retrieving the box through the doorway.

"Have a good day, miss." He states, responding with his own nod and a smile as he walks away, and Cassidy closes the door behind him.

As she makes her way back to the sofa, her expression immediately turns into confusion, and her curiosity begins to heighten. She is completely unsure as to what Harry could have sent her way, especially considering he is held up in an entirely different country.

"What in the-?"

"Just open it! I want to know what's inside!" Gemma squeals, bouncing in her spot much like something Cecelia does quite often when she is excited.

"You don't know?"

A simple head shake from her friend gives her the boost of interest to grab the mysterious package and pull it into her lap.

She looks to the small table to the side of the couch, quickly finding a pair of scissors that are just sharp enough to cut the tape. A few snips and the box is free to reveal what's inside. Cassidy gives a quick look to her friend, finding comedy in the giddiness they both suddenly begin to feel.

She pries open the top, reaching in and pulling out a box of chocolates. It's not something that needed to be sent to her or delivered by a man in a nice coat, but nonetheless, she won't complain.

The sweets are set next to her as she brings her attention to something else she seems to have been gifted. As her eyes meet the item inside, shock takes over the function of her body, as well as inhibiting any words to leave her lips, yet again.

"Well…?" Gemma asks impatiently, leaning forward and peering to get a view for herself. "A phone? Why did he send you a phone?"

Cassidy's focus shoots over to a paper flush against the side and pulls it out to find a note from the man in question.

CHOCOLATES TO FIX THE ATTITUDE PROBLEM AND A NEW PHONE TO FIX THE CAMERA ISSUE.

- H

"I'm seriously going to kill him." She whispers to herself, not knowing if Gemma was aware of the sentence she just spoke.

"I agree with the attitude problem. You've been quite moody. I suppose that's understandable though." Gemma jokes, pushing her shoulder against Cassidy. "But what's wrong with your phone?"

She lifts herself enough to pull the device out of her pocket, handing it over as she continues to glance over the new one now in her hands, removing the plastic from the outside container.

"Yeah, this camera is done for." Gemma states, placing the broken phone into the box in replace of the updated version. "How did Harry know that you needed a new one?"

Cassidy suddenly feels a miniscule version of something she experienced a long time ago. Something she felt after both times that she and Harry had sex. Nerves. And a dose of guilt. Yet, it's a ridiculous thing to be feeling. This is not the same situation in the slightest. She and Harry are friends, and that's all. And what's more, Gemma knows they are friends. Unlike her lack of awareness of the other incidents. It has to be residual effects from the past, because there is absolutely nothing for her to be worried about.

"We were on a video call when it happened." She replies, finally taking her eyes from her gift and landing them on her best friend, being met with a mildly inquisitive, raised brow.

"Oh, okay." Gemma plainly responds, her simple answer reassuring Cassidy.

"Yeah, me and Cece. I hurt my foot and dropped my phone." She shakes her head in remembrance of the event that felt so tragic when she was in the middle of it. "I told him I couldn't get a new one yet. Apparently he took it upon himself to do just that."

"He's that kind of guy." Her friend explains with a shrug, as if it's something Cassidy should automatically know. But then again, that's all she has been experiencing from him since their friendship started, so she truthfully shouldn't be surprised.

"He didn't need to do this." She utters, still having the instinct to turn down the kind gesture.

"He knows that. But it's not going to stop him. He takes care of his friends and family."

"I'm becoming very aware of that fact." Cassidy exhales with a single, subtle sound of a laugh.

"I'm just glad you two are finally getting along."

The surprise of the comment causes Cassidy's heart to stop along with her breath.

"What?"

Gemma turns her body towards her, rolling her eyes at the question she was just asked, as if the answer should be obvious.

"You two were insufferable around each other when we were kids."

"Well, I mean, he-"

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Harry was definitely a major pest, still is at times to be honest. But, come on, you were exactly the nicest to him either." Gemma explains, and Cassidy can all but keep from readjusting in her seat. "I guess I just thought you both would grow up and grow out of it, and end up… ummm, you know, being friends. Eventually. Or at least not hating each other!"

Flashbacks flood Cassidy's mind as she remembers back to their childhood. Not once did she think that her friend felt anything but the same annoyance that she herself felt.

"Shit. I'm sorry, Gem."

Her friend raises a hand to wave off the apology, as if it wasn't needed, though Cassidy feels otherwise.

"Yeah, well. It was only torture for me, for about twenty years…" She thankfully giggles, helping Cassidy's sudden guilt to lessen in intensity. "So just stay friends for an equal amount of time, at least, and we will call it even."

The thought of being Harry's friend for that long causes Cassidy's stomach to tighten and her lungs to inhale a deep breath. It's a reaction she wasn't prepared for, and one that's indiscernible at the moment. Although, she can acknowledge that it isn't of a negative nature.

"Be around Harry for that long?" She smirks, looking back down to the new phone just gifted to her by the man himself. "I can't make any promises. I already want to clobber him for this!"

•••

The bouncing of her leg does not help the impatience she feels as she waits for the call to be answered from the other end. She double checks the time, hoping that her calculations are correct, and that she can catch Harry as his morning begins.

Suddenly, the ringtone from the video call disappears and her gaze is met by a tousle-haired Harry.

"Oh my god. Did I wake you up?" She immediately questions, her heart racing with worry that she may have disrupted his sleep.

"No. Not at all." He chuckles, a coffee mug being brought up to his lips, covering up the small smile that has appeared at her exasperated question. "And good morning…"

"Good morning." She replies with a sigh of relief, and she notices the smile still stuck on his face when it is revealed to her again. "Umm… I wanted to give you a quick ring to thank you."

"No problem." He quickly states, with a raise of his eyebrow immediately following his words. "Wait, thank me for what?"

Cassidy can't tell if he truly doesn't understand what she is referring to, or if he is arrogantly playing dumb to get her to elaborate, but either way she feels a mild sense of embarrassment creep out onto her cheeks.

"For the chocolates, of course." She jokes, holding up the box that already has half of it's contents consumed. "But mostly for the phone. Harry, you-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." He interrupts, sternly but somehow also sweetly.

"Right. I know. You like doing things for your friends. But come on, Harry. This is not the same as just cooking dinner for us…"

"You needed a new phone, Cass." He states, with a sincere yet still stern tone. "How else was I going to talk to Cece?"

"It was only that back camera that was broken."

"Not just that. Your phone was like one thousand years old. You needed an upgrade." He exclaims with a smirk.

"Coming from the guy who doesn't even use emojis." She jokingly scoffs, drawing out a loud laugh from the man on the other side of her screen.

"Fair enough." He simply replies, being followed by a poking out of his tongue. "Does it work, though? Do you like it?"

Cassidy blinks her eyes as if in disbelief at herself, truly realizing that she has only questioned his generosity, despite ringing to express her gratitude. But also disbelief due to his apparent insecurity about the gesture. Not only does he want to do this for her, but he also wants to make sure she's happy with it, and it's fully taken care of.

"It's great, Harry. Truly. Thank you so much." She responds, a warmth traveling up her neck. "The camera on this one is really good! I've taken so many photos of Cece already!"

Harry's expression brightens at her answer and the heat creeps further up to her face. It's the fact that he helped her, and her thankfulness, that are creating this reaction. As much as she's working on accepting all of this, it's still all new to them.

"You'll have to send me some." He mutters.

"Sure."

A silence falls upon them for a moment, a bit of flickering of their gazes from each person.

"So… do you have anything planned for the day?" Cassidy asks.

She notices him play with his bottom lip, and a more serious expression rapidly displaying across his face.

"Harry…?"

"Umm… yeah, I've got a meeting." He quietly states, and Cassidy senses a sadness in his tone. "Bit worried that I won't be able to tour this year…"

"Oh shit." Cassidy instantly feels her heart hurt for him. She's always known how much he loves that part of his job, and to potentially not be able to do it must be painting him more than he is showing. "I'm so sorry. I know how much touring means to you."

"It's not-..." He sighs, his fingers combing through his hair more than once. "It's not even about me. It's all the people who buy tickets… and flights… and hotel rooms to come see me. It's not fair to them."

Cassidy stays silent as she watches his gaze drop down in a preemptive defeat. She knows there is nothing she can really say to ease his worries. But he's there for her, and she'll be there for him. And if that means sitting in silence on the other end of a video call, that's what she will do. She'll be there for her friend.

•••

She doesn't know if she's ever been more grateful to have a new phone. With the new nationwide, and seemingly worldwide, lockdowns now in place due to the coronavirus, Cassidy has never felt more alone. Besides Cecelia, but there's only so much she can talk about with a 3 year old.

Needless to say, she has already used her phone more than ever before, especially for video chats with her friends. Particularly Harry. Because it seems that not even miles of separation nor a pandemic can break the bond he and Cecelia share.

"I wan' say g'night to Harry…" Cecelia pouts, as she nuzzles into her bed and under her quilt. Her little hands lift up to rub her eyes, deceitfully reassuring Cassidy of her daughter's need for slumber.

"I know, Bug. But it's very late at night for him. He's sleeping."

"M'kay…" The little girl mumbles, the sadness so evident in her tone that it tugs at her mother's heart.

"How about we send him a message, yeah? So he can wake up to it in the morning."

Cecelia's eyes light up as much as possible with the heaviness of the day, and Cassidy props herself up against the headboard.

🗨️ Cassidy: sorry about this being so late… cece wanted to ring you before bed but i told her we would message you to say goodnight… so, goodnight from cece.

"Okay. I told him." Cassidy simply states, locking her screen as she looks down to her daughter, stroking the girl's long locks.

"I miss Harry."

Cassidy's eyes instantly widen at Cecelia's words. She knows the bond they have, but it still manages to catch her off guard at random moments. Not in a negative way, just in how tight that bond is.

"I know you do. He's your friend." Cassidy replies.

"He's my best friend!" She explains, even with her sweetly sleepy voice. "Well, you first. And Emily at school. Harry is after. But… don' say dat part!"

Cassidy can't help but chuckle.

"Okay." She smiles, giving Cecelia one final kiss on her forehead and moving towards the bedroom door. "I won't. Goodnight Bug."

"G'night Mummy. Love you." A little, relaxed sigh leaves her lips.

"I love you, too."

Cassidy closes the door and makes her way back to the living room. She plops down and grabs the remote, letting her body sink into the couch cushions. She smiles as a thought crosses her mind. Despite the horrible things happening in the world, and the chaos that quarantine creates, she still has things to be thankful for. Things that aren't seeming to be affected by any of that negativity. Those things bring her comfort, which is more than welcome these days.

•••

With the sound from a rerun of 'The Great British Bake-off' playing in the background, Cassidy scrolls mindlessly on her phone, attempting to wind down from the day. A sudden buzz causes the device to drop into her lap from surprise, and as she picks it up, she is even more shocked to see that the vibrations are due to a phone call from Harry.

"Good morning!" He states as soon as she answers, not even waiting for her to speak. "Oh. Wait… guess it should be more of a 'good evening' greeting for you…"

"Yes." She quickly pulls the phone back from her ear and checks the time. "It's 9pm here.

"Shit. I'm sorry. Were you asleep?" He asks, his voice going quiet, as if he isn't thousands of miles away in a different country.

"No, no. Just watching the telly." She replies, swearing she can hear his relieved exhale on the other end of the line. "What time is it there?"

"Umm… let me see… it's 5 in the morning."

"Since when do you get up that early?" Cassidy laughs, covering her mouth immediately in hopes that she didn't wake Cecelia. She skipped her nap and really needs her sleep.

There's a pause in the conversation, and Cassidy looks at her screen once again, checking if the call has disconnected, only to find that he is still on the line.

"I haven't been sleeping the best, to be honest. Lockdown has that all out of whack." He mumbles, and it squeezes her chest tight. Everyone has been out of sorts these days. Quarantine is hard on each person in their own way.

"Hey, it's your X-Factor audition anniversary today, isn't it?" She asks, hoping to take him out of the negativity she can tell that he is sitting in. Maybe a good memory will do the trick.

"Umm... yes, it is... how do you remember that?"

Cassidy unintentionally lets out another loud laugh, bending over at her waist at the amount of comedy behind Harry's question, and the certainty of her impending answer.

"Are you joking?" She asks, doing her best to regain control of her breathing, and stay quiet for the sleeping toddler in the other room. "I think that date is ingrained in my brain forever! You wouldn't shut up about it after Anne signed you up!"

[ flashback - March 2010 ]

For the past several years of her childhood, Cassidy has been subjected to Harry's increasing levels of annoyingness. However, today she feels as if he may have reached his peak.

If she hadn't already heard the news from Gemma herself, it wouldn't have taken long for the information of Harry's upcoming X-Factor audition to be brought to her attention. It felt as if the entire school knew within a matter of minutes.

"Hey, Cass!" Harry shouts out from behind her, causing her to internally cringe at the sound of her name coming from his mouth. It can't mean anything good, at least not for her. It never does.

She stops in her tracks and twists around to find the young lad jogging up to her with a wide grin stretching across his face.

"Did you hear?"

"Hear what?" She asks, playing dumb, though quickly realizing it just creates the opportunity for him to brag, and she internally scolds herself.

"I'm gonna be famous!" He exclaims, and the arrogant statement causes Cassidy to unintentionally scoff. "Hey…"

"You don't even know if you'll be on camera." She replies, knowing full well that the crew will inevitably be drawn to his irritating charm that everyone seems to fall for.

"So you did hear…" His grin widens. "I don't care. I get to sing!"

"You sing all the bloody time!" She reminds him.

"Right. Exactly. People seem to like it. So, I want to see if the judges do too."

"I don't like your singing." She blurts out, not meaning to let her annoyance with him get the best of her and her words. Especially considering the statement wasn't exactly true, though she'd never openly admit that to him.

"That's rubbish… you sing along any time White Eskimo plays..."

"That's because I like the actual songs."

"You can come along… if you want…"

"What?"

"To my audition. You can come along if you want. Robin, Mum, and Gemma will be there."

Cassidy opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. Is he really inviting her? There's absolutely no reason for her to go, and definitely no reason for him to want her there. Unless it's to feed his growing ego. Maybe even use it as a way to 'prove' to his schoolmates that she 'loves' him, like he continues to lie about. The realization hits and manifests into a strong furrow of her brow.

"March 27th? I think I'll be busy that day."

"Marked it on your calendar already, did you?" His arrogant smirk immediately pulls his left dimple inward. "Might be the last time you get to see me…"

Cassidy cannot help the rolling of her eyes, even if the idea is quite shocking to think about. As her gaze focuses back on him, and sees his smug face, her desire to sass him back quickly reappears.

"Don't get my hopes up Harry."

[ present - March 2020 ]

"Hey, I was excited!" Harry exclaims, almost as if to verbally pout, as Cassidy chuckles at the memory.

"But I'm pretty sure you weren't supposed to tell anyone at that point. At least not the whole town!" Cassidy pulls her lips inward to hold back another loud laugh threatening to push out.

"I didn't ring you to be teased." He responds, a clear lightness to his tone.

"You should know better by now…" She teases again. "Why did you ring then?"

"I was told someone wanted to talk to me. But… I didn't realize what time it was for you."

Cassidy feels a little smile form with her mouth at the fact that he is so thoughtful to call Cecelia back, yet missing the slightly important detail of what time it is on the other side of the world.

"She just wanted to say goodnight to you."

"I miss that little one." He confesses, and she feels a warmth build up inside her chest. "I miss both of you, I suppose. When you aren't being a bully."

"First off…" Cassidy begins, letting out an amused exhale. "No, that's fair… but you're not missing anything. It's only been a couple of days since we've all talked."

"I'm aware. But I enjoy our chats. They're keeping me sane." Harry replies, and she can practically feel the sincerity to his statement.

"You don't feel sane?" She asks with a small laugh, though genuinely understanding his meaning.

"I just miss everyone. I miss home. Feels a bit lonely over here."

"Aren't you living with a bunch of people right now?"

"That's… yes. But that's not what I mean." He sighs, and she can hear a mild pain in his exhale. "Los Angeles isn't home. Not truly."

"Right. It will be nice to have you around again." Cassidy admits, sensing the mild desire to have had this be a video call, for the sake of displaying a reassuring expression to ease him.

"Did I just hear that correctly? You actually like having me around?"

"Shut up, you twit." Cassidy scolds with a chuckle. "But, it's honestly not the same without you here."

There's a silence that falls between, and Cassidy feels that light comfortability she is becoming accustomed to feeling when she dwells on the good things she still has to keep her going. These talks, and this friendship with Harry, are definitely one of them.

Her attention turns back to him as she hears the clearing of his throat, and she reverts back to being grateful that this call is not a video, as she senses a pink hue rushing to her cheeks.

"I just think that, when I'm finally home in London again, it'll feel like things are getting back to normal."

•••

[ present - June 2020 ]

As nice as it's been to work completely from home for the past few months, and spend more quality time with Cecelia, there is only a certain amount of sanity that someone can maintain while quarantining in general, let alone with an energetic toddler. So, Cassidy jumped at the chance to accept Anne's invite to her home, especially giving her daughter some freedom to go off and play while she chats face to face with another adult.

However, as she sits across from the woman who basically helped raise her, she can sense an awkward nervousness coming from Anne as she strums her fingers on the tea cup.

"I'm still sorry about Mother's Day being canceled." Anne expresses, slightly throwing Cassidy off that her anxiousness seems to be based off of the uncontrollable situation.

"It's not your fault. We went into lockdown!" She giggles, hoping her easy going demeanor helps to ease the unnecessary guilt Anne seems to be feeling.

"I know. It just would've been nice to have one last outing before everything shut down." Anne smiles, small but sweet.

Cassidy stays silent, gazing down to her beverage, the two seemingly understanding the nonverbal agreement. It hasn't been easy, for anyone, despite the rules of lockdown beginning to ease up. She's never been more grateful for open coffee shops and food delivery services, even if masks are required.

"Have you been out much now that we can, you know, go out a bit?" Anne asks.

Cassidy shakes her head slightly and she swallows her sip of tea.

"Haven't had much of a reason to go anywhere, besides the shops, for groceries."

"Oh." Cassidy hears the short reply.

As her eyes gaze back up to Anne, she is met with an unexpected expression, though one she had just been witnessing. The anxiousness has returned, or is still there, she isn't sure which one.

"Is… is there something else bothering you?"

"No, no. Not bothering…"

"But there is something." Cassidy replies, her eyebrow raising immediately.

"Well… it's just that, if you did want a reason to go out… there's this very nice guy, the son of a friend I have, and I thought-"

"Oh, so this was an ambush!" Cassidy states with amusement, but also a little frustration. She knows Anne means well, but she isn't even sure if she's ready for anything like a set up, and certainly wasn't expecting it to come from Anne.

"No, darling! No. I just… you're just a wonderful girl. And from what I know, he seems like a good guy. I just thought you two would have a nice time together…"

"I just don't know if I'm ready to date." Cassidy replies, the truth to her answer apparent to her in the way the thought of such a thing chaotically swirls around in her mind.

"Not ready? I can't even remember the last time you went on one! You definitely haven't since Cece was born!" Anne exclaims, snapping her mouth shut once the words come out, her features filled with regret. "I'm sorry. It's not my place."

"It's okay, Anne." Cassidy places her own hand over Anne's, waiting until their gazes meet.

"I just want you to be happy, CJ."

"I am happy." She reassures her.

"But you deserve to be loved. You deserve someone who absolutely adores you. Who, umm, who thinks the world of you, and never stops feeling that way. Who loves you through anything and everything life has and will put you through."

"Well, I have Cece…" Cassidy giggles, trying to divert the conversation to a more comfortable topic of discussion.

"You deserve someone who will love you both that way." Anne states, and Cassidy can see the emotion manifesting itself as tears form in the corners of her eyes. "I'm surprised you're still single, to be honest. But, if nobody… has tried… that's their loss. It's not as though you need it. A woman doesn't have to have a man to be happy. But, darling, you both deserve all the love in the world."

Anne's beautiful words and pure-hearted expression cause Cassidy's heart to melt. There isn't a sneaky or malicious bone in that woman's body, and she knows Anne is only doing it out of genuine love of her own.

"It doesn't have to be a commitment. Just a date. Or even just a… hang out of sorts." Anne adds, and Cassidy realizes she doesn't think she can reject Anne's offer. Or suggestion. Or whatever it is. She sighs, partially from gratitude but also defeat, and squeezes the hand she's holding.

"Alright." She agrees, watching as Anne tries to hide the way her face wants to light up.

"Alright?"

"I'll meet him." She concedes, every fiber of her body pricked with anxiety.

"Are you sure?" Anne asks, suddenly displaying more timidity than moments before.

Cassidy nods, mostly out of instinct. Anne has the best intentions, but bringing a guy into her life is not as simple as a casual 'hang out'. She has Cecelia. Not every man is open to being in a relationship with someone who already has a child. And Cassidy is more than a little cautious about who she brings into their dynamic. However, she knows that Anne is onto something. Even though she is perfectly content with it being her and Cecelia together, she can admit to herself that having someone else join their little unit wouldn't be the worst thing ever. As long as it's the right person. And she can't know if someone is the right person unless she gets to know them. So she might as well start somewhere, with someone. And if Anne knows this man, that's certainly not a bad place to begin.

•••

Derek is nice.

As planned by Anne, he and Cassidy first met up outside a small cafe, taking caution by social distancing from others, and enjoying the company together outdoors.

He is nice. Smart, successful, good looking, and seemingly uncomplicated.

The last part could be most important, considering that, as a single mother, her life can be the opposite at times.

Though, he seems to be very fond of her. He immediately made his intentions known that he won't see anyone else while they get to know each other. Again, uncomplicated. And any free moment she has, he wants to spend with her.

Which is why they are walking down the corridor to her flat, after he treated her to a very posh picnic in the park.

He guides her to the front door, a warm and strong palm placed on the small of her back, and stops behind her as they reach it.

She spins around, causing his hand to glide to her hip, and she swallows the lump in the throat that developed from the motion. It's been quite a long time since she's been touched like that, in that way.

"Thank you for today." She states quietly, some nerves seemingly getting the best of her.

"I'd like to do something with you tomorrow." He replies, a subtle squeeze of her hip accompanying his statement.

"Oh. I… I have some work to do, unfortunately." Her gaze drops out of unexpected shyness. It's not a lie, she does need to complete a few things, but she always finds herself in a daze after being with him. Dating feels new to her, all over again, and she always feels as if she needs to process their time together. Process the feelings.

His disappointed sigh is halted as the sound of the elevator rings out. They both turn their heads to see the doors open, and watch as Harry walks through them, his head down and his hands behind his back.

His pace slows as he gets halfway down, gazing up to meet the eyes of Cassidy, then shooting them over to the man beside her.

She looks over to Derek, whose expression matches that of her friend's.

"Harry? Harry Styles?"

"Yes…" Harry answers with hesitancy, and Cassidy concludes that he may be nervous about an awkward interaction with a fan.

"It's Derek. Derek Mills." He exclaims, raising his hand to his chest as if to provide visual proof of who he is. As if his identity should be obvious to the other man. "Holmes Chapel Comprehensive!"

Cassidy watches as Harry's eyes widen, flickering between her and the man he has now, apparently, been reintroduced to.

"Derek. Right. How's it going mate?" He asks, giving a blank stare and similarly neutral tone.

"It's going well. Yeah, I'm doing really, really well." Derek replies, giving a smile as his gaze moves to Cassidy before returning to her friend. Potentially his own old friend, though she can't quite be sure.

"Wonderful." Harry states, providing no emotion in his statement. He looks down to his hands after bringing them in front of him, showcasing a beautiful arrangement of flowers that she had somehow missed when the interaction began.

"I didn't realize you two knew each other. Especially considering, you know…" Derek points in Harry's direction. "He's famous."

"Oh, well-"

"We're good friends." Harry interjects. "We've known each other since we were kids."

An uncomfortable silence falls between the three of them, with only the jingling of Cassidy's keys sounding down the corridor.

"Those are nice." Derek states plainly, pointing to the bouquet, matching the tone he has been receiving thus far.

"Oh, right. I, umm, brought these over… for Cece." Harry replies, now keeping his gaze fixated on Cassidy. "Can I give them-"

"Oh." She responds quietly, suddenly feeling a tidal wave of tension filing the space around her. "She's having a little afternoon nap."

"Of course." Harry nods, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I should've remembered it was her nap time. I'm sorry."

"That's okay!" She instantly responds. She waves her finger between herself and the other man beside her. "We were just… saying goodbye. So I can take them inside."

She turns to Derek, being met with pure confusion. Not that it wasn't clear he wasn't being invited inside. That's something Cassidy put a boundary on as soon as he asked to see her again after that first date. So the confusion is most likely regarding this uncomfortable interaction between the three of them.

He gives Cassidy a nod and a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Message me tonight." He states, turning away from her and moving closer to Harry. "Nice to see you again, Harry."

"You too." He utters in reply, not giving the man much acknowledgement as he walks closer to Cassidy, and Derek walks further away.

Harry looks back at the now empty hall, and turns around to meet her stare.

"I didn't know you were… dating anyone…" He states softly, with a familiar timidity that she hasn't heard in a while.

"We've been on a few dates. Nothing too serious right now." She shrugs, rummaging through the bag she has hanging from her shoulder.

"Right. Well, that's… nice..."

"What's with the tone?" She asks, a sternness beginning to attach to her own tone. What reason can he have to be snarky with her?

"I'm a bit surprised that you didn't tell me about this."

As much as Cassidy was just questioning his current, negative demeanor, she didn't expect a real answer. Certainly not that answer.

"I didn't realize it's something you would even want to know…"

"I'm your friend! Of course I want-... I mean… we talked a lot while I was away. Seems like this would be something that came up in conversation…"

She studies his face, watching with uncertainty as he expresses the same sentiment.

"Your mum only introduced us a couple of weeks ago and-"

"My mum set this up?" Harry's eyes widen, just enough for Cassidy to pick up on the movement of his features.

"Yeah…" She replies, still sensing a sliver of the snarky tone he had used moments before. "She thinks I'm not happy. Or… wants me to be happier, at least. She wants me to have more love in my life."

"Love?" Harry immediately straightens his posture and his eyes widen with, what looks like, a curious shock.

"Well, god, one step at a time please…"

"So, do you like him?" He utters, a volume that almost caused Cassidy to miss his question.

"I suppose so." She shrugs. Her answer would truthfully be that she does, but that suddenly feels as if it would be a troublesome response to give at this moment.

"You suppose so?"

"He's a nice guy."

"Did you even know him in school?" He asks, passive aggressively at best.

"No… he was in the year ahead of mine. What's that got to do with-"

"I just don't remember him being a nice guy."

"In school? Harry, that was ages ago." She chuckles, trying to ignore the once familiar frustration making itself known. "I don't particularly remember you being at your best back then either."

"Yes, but that's-... it's just that, I-" He stutters, swallowing harshly and running his fingers through his hair as he clears his throat. "You're right. I wasn't."

"And look at you now. Bloody hell, look at us both now! I hang out with the biggest pop star in the world!" Cassidy exclaims, delighting in the comedic truth to the statement, even if it's not the real heart of their reconciliation. "But, moreso, I'm your friend. We are friends. People change, Harry."

"True." He utters in response. "I just… I'm looking out for you."

"I appreciate it. But you don't need to worry about me, I can handle myself." She smiles, standing up straighter to further display her confidence. "I'd like to think I have a good judge of character."

Harry opens his mouth, but quickly closes it, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

"So… did you only come over to bring Cece some flowers?" Cassidy gives a small smile, still feeling an odd, mild tension in the air, but hoping the change of subject eases it away.

"Well, no. Since I just got back into town, I was going to invite you both over to my place." He returns her smile with one of his own, but the attempt still doesn't give her the reassurance she needs. "But since Cece's asleep, maybe another day then."

"Sure! Tomorrow?"

He hands over the bouquet and brings one hand up to fiddle with his lower lip, crossing the other around his waist, and furrowing his brow in thought.

"Yes. Tomorrow afternoon will work just fine."

Harry gives her a slight nod, along with a matching smile, and turns back to walk down the corridor. Cassidy watches as he gets back on the lift, his expression still seeming to be one of deep concentration on whatever his mind is dwelling on, and she begins to feel an uneasiness in her chest that she wasn't expecting to materialize between the two of them.

[ flashback - July 2014 ]

Dragged to yet another One Direction concert in London. That's where Cassidy finds herself with Gemma. It's annoying, at this point, that she so easily caves to her best friend's request of joining her, when she never wants to attend any of their shows. Not fully anyway.

And this time is worse, because Gemma managed to convince Cassidy to hang out backstage before the show, rather than after when she can use exhaustion as an excuse to get out of there quickly.

"So, what's new?" Niall asks her, scooting closer to her as they both lean against one of the dressing room walls.

"Not much really." She shrugs, considering the fact that her life is nowhere near as exciting as the one they lead.

"She's being modest." She hears coming from her right, feeling her friend nudge her with an elbow as Gemma walks up beside her. "She's finishing up at uni and then doing an internship for a place in Manchester!"

"That's amazing, Cassidy!" Niall exclaims, giving her a cheeky wink.

She simply shrugs, still highly aware of the company this news is being given to, knowing that this megastar's reaction is out of politeness.

"And she started seeing someone…" Gemma adds, causing Cassidy to shoot a strong, scolding glare in that direction.

"You're dating? Who are you dating?" A voice asks, and Cassidy turns her gaze to see Harry walking over from the other side of Niall, leaning one shoulder against the wall with his arms crossed over his body.

Who does he think he is to assume he has the right to even know the details of the new relationship she is in?

"You don't know him." She growls through her teeth.

"I might…"

"You don't."

She watches Harry look over to his sister, and out of the corner of her eye, sees the confirmation Gemma gives him. As if Cassidy's answer wasn't enough, or wasn't the truth. As if he knew better than to take her word for it. That arrogant prick.

"Does he know you know me?" His annoyingly famous smirk immediately appears after his words come out.

"Why would I tell him that?"

"Just don't want him to get jealous." He states, tapping Niall on the shoulder, obviously looking for someone to agree with his comedic statement, but only, and thankfully for Cassidy, receiving a shake of Niall's head.

"There's nothing to be jealous of."

[ present - June 2020 ]

The sound of chopping can instantly be heard as Cassidy and Cecelia enter through the front doors to Harry's house.

"In here!" They hear coming from the kitchen, and as they turn the corner, Cassidy is met with the view of Harry busying himself around the room.

"Can I go ou'side?" Cecelia asks, looking between her mother and their host.

"Of course!" Harry immediately exclaims, not bothering to check with Cassidy, even though her answer would be the same. She smiles at the comfort and normality of it all now, and realizes that it may never cease to cause her heart to fill up with so many good feelings. Happiness qand gratitude being the main emotions. "I could use your help picking some pretty flowers to put on the center of my dining table…"

The little girl's eyes light up, nodding at the suggestion and skipping her way outside.

"What have you got going on over here?" Cassidy asks as she turns back to Harry and moves into the kitchen, finding different foods sprawled out across the counter.

"Just… a small charcuterie selection…" He replies, laying cheese slices on the middle of the board.

"You didn't hav-... it looks delicious, Harry!" She states. Clearly she is still learning to accept his generous gestures, though that is one thing she may never get used to. She has spent so many years having to do anything and everything herself, that it is still doesn't feel entirely normal for her to have someone else do something for her.

"I have some wine over there if you'd like to pour yourself a glass." He gestures behind him, not taking his focus away from the food in front of him.

Cassidy walks over to the opposite counter of where he stands, picking up the one bottle he has pulled from his collection, and reading over the very intricate label.

"Are you sure you want to open this one? It looks pretty fancy."

"It's just a bottle of red wine, Cass."

"It's a 1982. That's older than me! And it says 'rouge'… I consider that pretty fancy. But then again, I'm not the famous Harry Styles. I usually just go for the cheap Zinfandel or a pink Moscato." Cassidy giggles, looking up from the bottle in her hand to find Harry lacking the amusement that she herself is finding in her statement.

"Oh I'm aware." He replies, rolling his eyes in a very sarcastic nature.

"But maybe this pinot will wash away your 'grumpy old man' mood…"

Harry's gaze shoots up from his task, displaying wide eyes, as if he hadn't been clueless of his previous, serious expression, or the sourness in his tone. Although, she is almost positive that he knows.

"What?"

Cassidy scoffs out a laugh and shakes her head, choosing to move past his clear pout over her beverage commentary.

"Nothing. I just think you should save this one for another time. A better occasion."

He shrugs. Simply shrugs, and arranges the final few strawberries with the other fruits, as Cassidy finds a less extravagant wine for the both of them to consume. One that is more relatable to her more normal lifestyle.

"Shall we?" He asks, nodding in the direction of beautiful back doors, leading out to an even more beautiful backyard.

Cassidy grabs the glasses and they exit, each finding a comfortable spot on his patio furniture, both close enough to the outside table and within reach of the lovely food spread he has created.

"So, catch me up. What's… what's new in your life?" Harry asks, taking his glass and then a sip of wine, seemingly hiding his expectant expression, though failing to keep it from Cassidy.

"Well, considering we saw each other yesterday…" She giggles mildy. "Nothing."

"Right." He scoffs within a chuckle of his own. "But it wasn't much of a conversation, and I have been away…"

"We also talked multiple times a week, you pest. Besides not actually being around, and considering we couldn't do much anyway, you didn't miss anything."

"Don't know, it feels like I did." He mumbles. "With… with everyone."

Her gaze flickers over to him, noticing the way he has begun to run his teeth along his bottom lip, staring out to the backyard view.

"I bet it feels good to finally be back home then, yeah?"

"It does. Yes." He utters in response, a quietness that feels a little surprising to Cassidy, considering how desperate he seemed to leave Los Angeles and return to London. "I won't be able to settle in too much though."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm… I'm actually headed to Italy soon."

"That sounds amazing! How soon?"

"Umm…" He runs his fingers through his hair and his gaze drops as he swirls the beverage around in his glass. "I'm leaving next week."

"Next week?" She exclaims, turning to face him completely. "Wow. I feel like you just got back home."

"I know." He softly states, giving nothing more than that simple response.

"What are you going for?" She feels her brow furrow slightly, the expression caused by the confusion she feels throughout herself. However, she lightens her features, even if just to ease her own mind. "Finding even more pretentious wine?"

"Of course." He replies with a simple smile, very unlike his usual grin, or smirk. "And, umm, I guess to also figure out what I want to do next. Maybe write a song or two, if inspiration strikes."

"And you can't do that here? At home?"

"I need a clear head. Free from distractions."

The confusion grows and a worry begins to build alongside it, though she isn't quite sure why. He's a grown man. He can do whatever and go wherever he wants to, it doesn't affect or involve her in any way. Except that, to an extent, it does.

She looks over to Cecelia, who is completely comfortable at Harry's home, and completely content digging around in the garden outside.

Her gaze quickly shoots down to her fingers as they begin to fidget with the stem of her wine glass, then slowly moves back over to him.

A realization falls over her. She's a bit sad. For Cecelia, who just got her best friend back, but also for herself. She just got her friend back too. Her other best friend. Now he's headed off again, and another realization hits her. Their lives are so different. As much as she sees him as the Harry she knew as a kid, he is not just that. And for the first time since they became friends, she worries that it could change things. Change what they now have.

"Right." She utters, still caught up in her thoughts. "Free from distractions."

Series Masterlist

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For teaching my kid to clean up after herself? (suicide mention)

I (25nb) and my partner (27nb) have a daughter (4f turning 5 in 2 weeks). We always help her out with cleaning up her toys so she can see where things go and how to properly put them away. Today she just had a small handful of things under her fold-up table and a few things on top. It wasn't a lot, and I told her that if she cleaned it up she could set up her princess tent in the living room. She complained about it saying it was boring and that she didn't want to do it. I said "its going to be boring, you still have to clean up after yourself. If you want to do fun things then you need to be clean". She asked if I could help, I said "it's only a few things, and I won't always be here to help you. So for today I want you to learn how to do it for yourself without my help". She started crying and having a meltdown about it. My partner told her this was unacceptable behavior and said she wasn't allowed to have her tent or watch a movie until she cleaned up, and they turned the TV off.

My mother was here not long prior, and had seen the first half of the resistance and attitude we got. She tried helping by giving her positive thoughts and motivation. I also said that she's been super good and well behaved lately, so if she helped out I would give her a little candy gummy as a treat if she did it without much fuss. My grandmother (who we live with and is constantly awful towards us) stayed quiet during this interaction. She even laughed at my daughter.

When my mom left and the issue with the meltdown and the TV ensued, my grandmother started giving me attitude, saying I need to help her clean the solid 5 mini toys and the coloring book off the floor. She bitched at me for turning the TV off and complained that if we were turning it off anyways, then she should be allowed to watch TV. We said no, because the thing she wanted to watch was NOT child friendly (it was a crime murder movie with heavy sex scenes in it and a lot of swearing and gore). She took the remote and put on the TV anyways, but it was the news for now. She kept repeatedly complaining that "this is ridiculous" and "I don't want to hear crying and bickering". So I said "if it's stops you from acting pissy then fine I will help her clean it up". She then gave me attitude denying that she was acting pissy. I said "you're giving me attitude. I'm just trying to teach her how to be responsible and clean up after herself properly". And she kept scoffing and mumbling to herself. It took 2 minutes for the two of us to clean up. It wasn't that bad. It would've been quicker if my daughter wasn't complaining about it being boring. My grandmother then proceeded to complain about how she now needed to wipe the fold-up table (she didn't). I was stressed out and said "I'm going to go for a walk by myself for a bit". My grandmother scoffed and sighed audibly. As I was leaving she said I was a bad parent for making my daughter clean up on her own. She waited to say something when my mom left because she doesn't want anyone to witness how she treats us (cuz this is how she treats us on a constant basis).

This is all heightened by the fact that I just went on a new med recently that isn't working and is actually making me severely depressed. But if I stop taking the med, it makes me suicidal. And we got our snap benefits taken away from us because they didn't tell me what I needed for proofs and I missed some. So I'm under a lot of stress.

I've been sitting outside wondering if I really am a bad parent for not helping her. If I should have just helped right away to prevent all this drama. I keep feeling like I did something wrong. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[giorno-plays-piano]

Dumb Ideas of Satoru Gojo

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x reader

Warnings: No Curse AU, fluff, attempt at humor, slight hurt/comfort, swearing, mention of lip fillers, Satoru being a dumbass.

Words: 640

Summary: Your silly boyfriend reacts to your lip job.

________

"Baby, why are you wearing a mask at home?" Satoru frowns at you as you're already preparing to roll your eyes, knowing too well what's gonna follow in a second. Ain't no way your boyfriend just gonna leave you be, given he made it his life's purpose to goof around 24/7.

"It's fine," you assure him with a sigh as if it's going to keep Gojo from pestering you, but he's not having it, immediately appearing in front of you with a concerned look on his face.

"What's going on?" He demands abruptly, not lifting your mask off but blocking your way to the kitchen, nonetheless. "What happened to you?"

It would be sweet if you didn't know what would follow the moment you showed him your face. Honestly, if anything, Satoru is a caring boyfriend who does worry about you and your well-being, and you can't pretend like you hate it. However, today is definitely not one of those days when you need help, and it annoys you to no end that you have to show your lips to your boyfriend before he goes ballistic and starts calling ambulance, thinking someone hit you in the face.

"I just..." you awkwardly clear your throat, looking away as you touch your mask, pulling it down with reluctance, "had my lips done."

For a second, Gojo is stunned, looking at you with those unearthly blue eyes of his that make any girl swoon. He blinks, unsure if he heard you right, before his eyes land at your painfully swollen lips, and then you see it: his face contorts like he tries his best not to explode from laughter, shoulders already shaking as he watches you fumble with your shirt.

Asshole.

"Baby, what the..." he can't even finish the sentence, lips wobbling like he gonna burst any second, and you're already mad, putting your mask back on before you hear any more stupid comments. "What is this dumpling on your face?"

Huffing, you slap his shoulder, pushing him away, but Gojo is nothing if not persistent, immediately following you to the kitchen as he cackles behind your back.

"No, seriously, how did you even do this?" He snickers while you open the freezer to get an icepack, a murderous expression on your face. "Did they put bees on your lips?"

He then stops, his lips pursed dramatically into an "o" before he claps his hands in triumph. "Suguru just got into beekeeping! Maybe we can open a lip salon together!"

Your patience is running thin, and you're barely keeping it together, already thinking of beating your dumb boyfriend with an icepack in your hand if he won't shut up. Not that Satoru cares, driving you crazy before you finally snap and throw it at him as he giggles like a schoolgirl, successfully evading the first and the second icepacks, snickering his usual, "Yowai mo~"

He does help you to apply the third icepack, though, and kisses your temple as you seethe, fed up with his antiques, and then he says he's sorry because that's how most of your arguments end. Of course, he didn't mean to upset you. He never does. Laughing it off has been his strategy for the past 15 years or so, and he often reacts like this to anything that even remotely shocks him. It doesn't mean he's mocking you or the choices you make.

"You know I'm gonna love you the same with small or big lips, right?" Satoru asks quietly, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he's cuddling with you in bed, his hands warming up the small of your back. When you nod, he smiles, dropping the kiss to the tip of your nose before he says, "Listen, but about this bee startup idea..."

He may or may not be sleeping on the couch tonight.

[newtthetranswriter]

Can you write mitsuya fluff, thx 😊

Word count: 777

Summary: It's a rare night where you and Mitsuya get to relax, so you spend it watching movies. The night ends with a cute little duet.

Paring: Takashi Mitsuya x gender neutral reader

A/n: Thank you for requesting. I know It's short but I couldn’t think of much, but listening to my Disney playlist gave me this idea. I hope you enjoy, remember to hydrate or diedrate, and enjoy your REQUEST ARE OPEN

    It was a rare night that both me and Takashi were completely free to do whatever we wanted. Normally we would either have a Toman meeting or Takashi would have to watch his sisters. But today was one of the few nights his mom was able to watch the young girls, giving us a night to finally relax. We decided to spend the evening at my house because my parents were out of town and it limited the chance of interruptions.

    We just wanted to enjoy the night so we decided on a relaxing movie night. Taking turns picking the movies made for some interesting genre changes. He picked first and we ended up watching the first Star Wars movie, directly following that I picked Moana. It was a back and forth of Star Wars and random Disney movies. We are about five movies in and it’s my turn to pick the sixth movie. And I have the best one in mind.

     “Ok it’s your turn, what movie this time?” He asked, handing me the remote. “And I swear if you play Frozen I’m leaving and taking the pizza with me.” He said with a straight face as I opened the search feature on the tv. As I finally found the movie I was looking for, I heard him groan slightly. “I take it back, Frozen is great, please I'm not singing along with you.” I couldn’t help but smile, he knew me too well sometimes.

     “Come on, but you fit the part so well. You’re a delinquent who showed me the world and I helped to soften your tough exterior.” I said explaining my thought process. “Plus I love Tangled, and it’s this or The Nightmare before Christmas, and since it’s nearly February I dare say it's not the best time for the pumpkin king.” I said playing the movie.

     He sighed and begrudgingly agreed, though I could see he was happy seeing me happy. I set the remote down on the coffee table and then leaned back to cuddle up to him.

     As the movie went on I sang along with all of the songs, while Takashi just watched me enjoying the fact that I was having fun. I couldn’t help but get excited as my favorite song from the film started to play. I stood up ready to sing my heart out, I was surprised to see Taka join me in front of the tv.

     And so as Repunzel started singing, I sang along.

“All those days watching from the windows

All those years outside looking in

All that time never even knowing

Just how blind I've been

Now I'm here blinking in the starlight

Now I'm here suddenly I see

Standing here it's all so clear

I'm where I'm meant to be

And at last I see the light

And it's like the fog has lifted

And at last I see the light

And it's like the sky is new

And it's warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once everything looks different

Now that I see you” 

     There was a pause in the song and Takashi grabbed my hands, before his part started.

“All those days chasing down a daydream

All those years living in a blur

All that time never truly seeing

Things, the way they were

Now she's here shining in the starlight

Now she's here suddenly I know

If she's here it's crystal clear

I'm where I'm meant to go”

     I couldn’t contain my smile as I joined back in for the rest of the song.

“And at last I see the light

And it's like the fog has lifted

And at last I see the light

And it's like the sky is new

And it's warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once everything is different

Now that I see you

Now that I see you”

     As the song ended we leaned in to give each other a gentle kiss. We moved back to the couch to finish the movie, unable to wipe the smiles off our faces. Even if he acted like he didn’t like Disney movies, I know he enjoyed watching them with me. 

     “Thank you Takashi, it means a lot that you did that with me.” I said cuddling closer to his side.

     He pulled me as close to him as possible before kissing the crown of my head. “OfCourse, I’d do anything for you, love. I love you so much.”

     I smiled, looking up at him. “I love you too.” I said before letting out a small yawn, falling asleep against his side.

[makkir0ll]

200 followers event prompts!!

(not taking requests for prompt 7 and 24 because i keep getting too many requests for that, there’s only so much a girl can write about jealousy and eyes)

“I like your stupid face. It’s so stupid. It’s so….I like it. Can I touch it?”

“I know this is horrible timing, but I think I’m in love with you”

“Can you move, my arm is falling asleep”

“you put your arms around me and I literally felt my knee’s buckle, this is so pathetic.”

“I genuinely don’t know why my brain just goes blank when I look at you I think I’m going a little crazy.”

“No. I’m not going to give you a bite because I know you’re not gonna like it. Then you’re going to ask me how the hell I like it, and I just don’t want to listen to that right now.”

“No way… you’re actually…jealous”

“Your face is literally vermillion”

“Are those…flashcards?” / “I’m practicing okay”

“Just sit there. I’m going to make you something to eat.”

“Lets go on a walk, and get some air”

“I can’t find the remote” “I’m actually going to kill you”

“yeah, yeah. you’re cute. just stop smiling at me like that”

“I crave your affection, but i crave your silence even more-“ / “shut up.”

“did you just slap my ass?” / “actually, i firmly grasped it” / “did you just quote spongebob?”

“i kind of…don’t want us to be a secret anymore”

“what was that..?” / “a kiss” / “well i know that knucklehead”

“i couldn’t kiss you all day! let me make up for it now hm?”

“i love you, i swear baby i do. but if you buy one more cushion i swear to god i’m moving out”

“when you love something, you want to protect it”

“damn, it’s like my mom likes you better than me”

“does it make you nervous when i stare?” / “yes! so stop staring” / “oh absolutely not”

“let’s dance in the rain” / “but…hypothermia” / “that’s a problem for future us”

“your eyes are really pretty up close”

“ssshhh stop fussing. i’m just braiding your hair”

“i swear to god if you steal the blankets again i’m putting my cold feet on you”

“you’re blind- you’re so blind! why the hell would i even do half the things i do for you for anyone else if i wasn’t head over heels for them?!”

“she looked at you funny..”

“what the hell is her problem?”/ “THATS WHAT I SAID”

“i’m not the best at this” /“you’ve stepped on my foot atleast ten times now. trust me i know”

“why are you looking at me like that? should i fix something?” / “No, god no, you look perfect”

“i’ve never seen you blush this much, i can’t look that good”

“you look the cutest like this” / “but i just woke up” / “i know what i said”

“what if i drown??” “i’m not going to let you”

“the lady over there just asked if we’re married” / “well, we did just kiss” “I know but don't you think it’s cool that we’ve finally been asked that?”

“you’re hot” / “Babe i know you’re like in love with me but now is not the time”

“Don’t pull away, not yet.”

"you've been tossing and turning for the past forty-five minutes, what's up?"

"if i see one more plushie occupy MY spot on the bed I'm kicking you out to sleep on the couch."

"you know you're the only one I want to be with."

"we shouldn't be doing this. not now, not here."

"Can I kiss you?"

"but nobody knows us here! can we please leave?"

"you're cute when you smile, you should do it more often."

"should i cook today?" / "i- i don't trust you with my kitchen babe."

"we should compare hands, you know...science" / "what?"

"i know it's obvious, but you still and always will give me butterflies."

"this is humiliating" / "there is nothing humiliating about needing help every once in a while, my love"

"Can you get that for me?" / "Can I what?" / "Can you please get that for me"

"Need my shoulders to see up there?" / "Piss off."

"I could lift you up off the floor while kissng you." / "Excu - what are you doing?! Put me down!"

[voidfxndoms]

Something Blue (Part 1) // Sterek

Derek is getting married and Stiles, as his best man, decides to bring in an old bridal tradition.

Warnings: swearing, a lot of built-up feelings that don't come out in the best of ways.

W/C: 2,487 (total)

A/N: I had to split it into two parts because I was over the tumble world limit apparently??? I didn't even know tumblr HAD a word limit lmao. Anyway, hope y'all enjoy this first part :)

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

"Okay, Scott? How much time do we have?" Stiles asked, nervously pacing around the room. "Thirty minutes." "Oh my god, we're never gonna make it. Where is he? Where is Derek?" "He's going to be here, don't worry. We got plenty of time." Scott tried calming his best friend down. "It's his wedding, for God's sake! How can someone be late for their own wedding!" Stiles exclaimed, anxiety reeking off of him and invading the room. "Malia just texted me, Braeden is almost ready. I'm gonna go check on the catering and guests, maybe someone knows where he is. You need to calm down Stiles, we're gonna be fine." "I need to tell him, Scott.", Stiles said, eyes sad and shoulders slumped. "And you will. I got you." Scott smiled, putting both hands on his friends's shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I swear to God if Derek doesn't bring his werewolf ass in here right now-" "Threatening me on my wedding day? I really should have asked Scott to be my best man.". A tall, bulky figure walked into the room, pearly whites flashing as the words left his mouth. "You piece of shit!" Stiles said before taking big strides towards the groom and adjusting his tie. "Relax Stiles, everything is going according to plan. Scott, did Stiles not take his Adderall today?" Derek joked, looking over at the young alpha. Stiles huffed, then stumbled towards his backpack. Ignoring the two wolves making fun of him, he took out some things from his bag and placed them on the room's glass coffee table. "Okay. You, big bad wolf, c'mere." Derek, cocking a brow, approached the small table in the middle of the room. He observed the objects in front of him as he sat on the small sofa. "Stiles? What is this? I refuse to do any sort of voodoo ritual." Scott, standing behind Derek, looked at his best friend with a puzzled expression on his face. "I thought this was only for brides." "Well," Stiles said, "this is no ordinary wedding, so I don't see why only ordinary traditions should apply."

"Can somebody please explain to me what the hell I'm looking at, and what is this supposed to be?" Derek asked, half amused, and half annoyed. "Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.", Stiles announced proudly as Scott rolled his eyes. Derek furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh my God," Stiles's jaw dropped. "You seriously don't know what I'm talking about?" "I have no idea what this is." the werewolf replied, confusion still plastered on his face. Before Stiles could say anything even remotely sarcastic, Scott said: "Guys, we've got twenty minutes. Stiles, make it fast." "Alright alright." the amber-eyed replied. He took a deep breath, unsuccessfully trying to calm his nerves. "As your best man,-" he started. "The worst decision of my life by the way, don't know what I was thinking." Derek interrupted him, chuckling. Stiles glared at him. "I was saying…" he continued, stressing the final word while shooting one last annoyed look at the giggly man opposite to him. "As your best man, it is my duty to make sure you enter this new chapter of your life in the best way possible, carrying bits and pieces of your life before that horrible mistake when you decided to marry Terminator's daughter." "You know her name is Braeden. And, come on, be nice to her -- she saved all of our lives. I still don't understand why you hate her so much." "It's not her that I hate…" Stiles mumbled. For a split second, Derek saw a glint in his best man's eyes. It was pure sadness, but it lasted for so little he questioned whether he'd imagined it. "Anyway, I took the liberty of borrowing a bridal tradition. In front of you you have three objects," Stiles said, before picking up the first one. "Wait, weren't they supposed to be four?" Derek questioned. "We'll get to that in a minute. Now, the first one; something old." "The triskelion?" "Yeah. This part is about having a relic, something that will always remind you about your roots. The sentimental value this thing holds is insane." Derek raised an eyebrow. "Think about it. Your mom used it to help you and your sisters learn how to control your powers. It's been in your family for years, Kate tried to steal it… you even have it tattoed on your back!" Stiles explained. "I also used it with Liam." Derek pointed out. "Yeah, but that was a total disaster." Derek looked at him, lips tight in a thin line, the eyebrow still cocked. "What? It's not my fault your whole "We can all rise and fall to another" speech didn't work." "Alright, alright. Stiles? Move on." Scott intervened, time slowly running out. He nodded, giving Derek the triskelion, who put it in the inner pocket of his tuxedo. "Object number two, something new.", Stiles said. Derek held it for a few moments, before shooting his head up and asking: "What the hell am I supposed to do with a roll of duct tape?", annoyance oozing from his voice. "Trust the process. The "something new" is an object that will help you in your new life."

Skeptic, Derek let his best man keep talking. "And now something borrowed. Courtesy of Jackson." "I don't need a bow tie, I'm already wearing a tie." "See," Stiles said, making his way to the groom, "This sentence is exactly why you need the bow tie." Kneeling before him, he undid Derek's tie and started tying the navy blue satin bow tie Jackson had lent for the occasion. Derek hardly ever wore suits, and even more rarely tuxedoes. He liked casual and comfy clothes and had no interest in the world of elegance. However, when the engagement had been announced and his closet opened, the only suit Stiles had been able to find was dusty, crumpled, and sprinkled with holes made by some very hungry moths. So he had forced the alpha to the best suit shop in Beacon Hills, where Derek had gotten a tailor-made navy blue tuxedo with black satin flaps that had been hunting Stiles in his dreams ever since the first time he had seen it on the werewolf. But Derek had drawn the line at that, refusing to spend one more dollar on his appearance, claiming that he wasn't getting married to the crowd but to Braeden. "She loves me for me. I don't give a shit about what the guests are gonna think." "You really thought I was going to let you stand there, butchering all degrees of style?" Stiles asked cockily, straightening the perfect bow he had tied. "Oh come on, you're being dramatic." Derek rolled his eyes. Stiles scoffed. "First of all, you were wearing a TIE. With a TUXEDO. Ties are worn with suits, bow ties are for tuxedoes." Derek's eyes widened slightly, surprised at the reaction. "Okay fashion police, my bad." "And let's not even mention the state of the tie you were wearing… Terrible!" "Okay- Stiles? It's okay. We get it. Move on.", Scott said, worry in his eyes. "No you don't!" Stiles almost shouted, suddenly misty-eyed.

To be continued...

[dndeceit]

Today was my birthday, so I'm going to do a rare thing and treat myself by posting a bit of a teaser for a fic that I've been working on for about a year and a half (at least April of 2023). The story is very close to being finished (I'm on the last chapter!) but it's going to take a lot of editing, so I don't know when it will be ready to start posting it properly on AO3. Overall, the fic will run twenty chapters (about 100k words by the time it's ready to post).

The story is called Salt for Salt. It's a Janus-focused supernatural AU about friendship, family, and finding home (and also sea monsters).

Cover art and the first half of the first chapter can be found below the cut.

(This sneak peek is rated T for mild swearing. The full fic may carry a higher rating due to its horror elements.)

Janus's father had been a con artist and a thief who—in his son's expert opinion—never failed to ruin everything he touched, Janus's life included. When the handling of his father's will revealed that his identity had been built upon forged documents, Janus had watched the life he had worked to build for himself fall disastrously apart. Expelled from university, burdened with debt, and barred from most employment, Janus was left almost aimless in the aftermath, with only the support of his closest friends to keep him afloat. Years later, stuck in a rut and with little left to lose, Janus decided to take a gamble. Following the trail of one of his father's old stories, Janus set out in search of clues about the other side of his family—whoever they turned out to be. That search has led him to the cold, remote island of Inch Murrough. Now it should only be a matter of navigating the social complexities of a small town and the colorful characters that lived there… (Needless to say, drawing the attention of the local sea monsters had not been part of his plan.)

Chapter One: Stars in the Sea

The moon was a narrow sliver, casting just enough light to frost the wispy, fast-moving clouds with a delicate silver glow. Patches of the night sky peered through where their cover was broken, lit with more stars than Janus could ever recall seeing in his life. Yet as beautiful as it was, the sky held nothing to the wonder that stretched out before him. Dark, frigid-looking waters roiled with a fraught energy, tossed by winds that felt only a breath shy of a storm. And somehow, it seemed the sea was on fire. The peak of every wave was capped in a brilliant, pale blue light. Sparks scattered as they crashed and broke against each other, twinkling softly as they dimmed, turning the black waters in front of him into a second field of stars...

It was captivating, and magical, and so alien to his experiences that at first Janus felt sure that he was dreaming. But the wind whipping those waves was strong and cold. It tugged at the fabric of his clothes and stung his cheeks and nose where they had grown damp from the sea spray. The roughness of the wood beneath his bare feet was very real, and his wonder shifted quickly, first into confusion and then alarm-

Because Janus had no idea where he was, nor any idea how he had gotten there.

Pulling back from the sparkling waves, Janus crossed his arms against the cold sea air and tried to take stock of himself and his surroundings. He stood alone at the end of a wooden pier overlooking a modest harbor which, beyond the boats rocking fitfully where they were moored in the rough waters, appeared to be basically empty. It was night time, and it was cold, and he was dressed in nothing but his pajamas. His feet were bare and they were sore—the soles tender and his toes freezing—like he had been walking around barefoot for a while. And it may have been the sudden shock of coming to awareness the way he had, but his blood felt like it was buzzing, like he had just stepped off of a roller-coaster. His throat burned, and he felt lightheaded and shaky-

And Janus supposed if he was going to be wandering around at night barefoot and half-frozen he might as well get sick from it. But seriously, fuck his life.

He didn't have his watch, so he couldn't guess how late it was, and he didn't happen to have his phone in his pajamas pocket because when had he ever been that lucky? The harbor was silent except for the wind and the waves and the sound of the boats at their docks, illuminated where the water lapped at their hulls by the same strange blue light that had held him mesmerized. There was nothing familiar about it, which only meant that it wasn't the same harbor where the ferry had docked when he first arrived at the town of Tam's Landing. On an island the size of Inch Murrough, there would of course be more than one, but at the same time it was hardly large enough that he imagined there could be that many...

There was only so lost one could get on an island with just the single town, right?

He would hope that he was still on Inch Murrough, at the very least, because finding himself elsewhere would make this whole alarming situation a much bigger problem than it already was. The last thing Janus remembered was lying down to sleep in his bed at the boarding house. He had booked his room for the week, assuming it would take him at least that long to find what he had come all this way for. There was supposed to be a resort hotel on the western side of the island, but he had learned that it was unfortunately seasonal and wouldn't be open until the summer. Though it was just as well, truly, given his limited assets. On his voyage out, the ferry captain had offered his recommendation for the bed and breakfast on the north side if he could afford it, or Greene's Boarding House to the south and it's...colorful landlord, if he couldn't.

(As it turned out, people didn't exactly trip over themselves forgiving student loans after you'd been expelled halfway through a degree for enrollment fraud. He was more than used to seeing his choices dwindling before him by this point.)

For better or worse, Janus found himself shaken out of this dreary thread of recollection by a tap on his shoulder. Then another on the top of his head. Sure enough, as he looked out over the strangely-glowing waves, the dark water became speckled with glimmering ripples as the thickening clouds the wind had drawn in from the sea began to release their burden. Janus cursed the weather, cursed his luck, and cursed his father on top of both for good measure because why not. If he wasn't sick already, he definitely would be if he stayed standing out here like a fool.

Questioning how he even got there was something he could worry about once he got himself out of the damned rain.

By the time he escaped the waterfront and reached the shelter of an awning on an adjoining street, the rain had begun to fall in earnest. The flannel of his top was damp and heavy on his shoulders, and was rapidly wicking away what little warmth it had previously allowed him to hold onto. Poorly dressed for it as he was, in the chill of a late autumn night the rain had just shifted his situation from uncomfortable to genuinely dangerous. And whatever the hour, Janus only knew that it was late. Late enough that it was probably early. The streets were that eerie sort of empty, and the clatter of driving raindrops chased every other sound out of existence. He shivered in his sad, isolated little pocket of misery, closed off from the rest of the world by a curtain of hissing rain.

Consequently, he was so caught up in that misery that he missed the approach of someone else arriving to intrude on his pathetic little scene.

A flash of movement and color at the corner of his eye was what finally caught his attention, and Janus looked up to find himself being watched. The man looked like he sat on the early border of his thirties or thereabouts. He had brown hair and brown eyes—currently wide with surprise—that stared back at him from behind a pair of black-framed glasses. Though, perhaps the most pertinent detail—or at least the one most pertinent to Janus—was that the man was far better dressed and equipped for the weather than he was. In particular, Janus found himself looking at the man's green, frog-eyed umbrella with an almost violent amount of envy.

"Oh, gosh," the man stammered suddenly, clearly trying to shake himself from his earlier surprise. "Are you-"

"Freezing," Janus answered through clenched teeth before the other could finish.

He imagined the question was likely meant to end differently. Still, in his mind, his answer was the only truly important one in that moment. His throat pinched on the word, reminding him once again of its soreness. He chose not to elaborate further.

With a surprised blink, the man winced sheepishly.

"Of course! I-" Looking around the empty street, perhaps expecting the rain to offer some solution, he stumbled toward the awning. "How-"

He cut himself off shaking his head.

"Never mind, it doesn't-" he said, mostly to himself, as he held out his umbrella. "Here. I- I'm not sure what we can do about-" His eyes flicked down, taking in Janus's lack of shoes. "But I- I mean- We're not far from where I work. You can wait it out there—or at least get dry."

Janus might have bothered to stutter out a thank you, but he doubted there was much he could meaningfully express through chattering teeth and a tortured throat. Still, as he ducked silently under the offered umbrella he was grateful nonetheless. He was even more grateful that the man, clear questions aside, did not stick around to chitchat once he had.

"It's just down the street."