#(darn capitalism)

[moonsbijou]

tho this will inevitably happen i can’t wait for people who haven’t read the books especially little black girls and black women who might be watching it with their daughters to watch it and fall in love with it

[asmrbrainrot]

The Gator Boys & The Moon Witch Ch3~

After a few minutes of flying through the swamp the two whizzed past a faint golden glow, “That’s it!” Timothy shouted, fearing Esther might miss the cabin from which the light came from. The broom came to a screeching halt, before Esther could stop him the gator boy vaulted off of the broom and began running to the cabin as if the demons of Gehenna themselves were on his heels. “Wait up!” The woman hollered following behind him on her broom. The witch gathered her things (including a very shaken Bella) and entered the cabin behind her former aggressor. She was instantly hit with the acrid smell of bile and blood. Swiftly gaining her bearings Esther observed the “Friend” the young man had told her about. Strewn on the cabin floor before her was a huge halfblood gator that appeared to be in his late thirties. The man was tall, very fit and bore deep juniper green scales. Under different circumstances she might be intimidated; however, the once able-bodied gator was a pitiful sight at the moment. His statuesque frame lay shivering in pools of his own sick, his leathery skin glistening with beads of fevered sweat. “Them hunters got’im with a crossbow,” Timothy explained, “It didn’t hit too deep but I think it was tipped!” Esther cautiously approached the larger man inspecting the bandage that wrapped around his left shoulder. “Do you still have it?” She queried, “The arrow I mean.” There was no doubt the man had been poisoned, but Esther would do more harm than good if she didn’t know what exactly was in his system. Not to mention how a halfblood might react to such a poison. “Right here!” The young man affirmed, handing the bloodied projectile to her. “Okay then, go get some clean water and cloth-Oh and put a fire on! I got a feeling we’re gonna do a bit’a potion work tonight.” She ordered pointing to what appeared to be the kitchen adjacent from them. The smaller halfblood immediately sprung into action, gathering the necessaties as Esther prepped her own materials. From her knapsack she withdrew a jar of clear unassuming fluid. A potion of revealing, one of the first lessons she learned in magical healing. Careful not to knick herself, the witch detached the arrowhead from the rest of the arrow, before plopping it into the now opened jar, swishing it around a bit. The once translucent liquid quickly became a cloudy seafoam green. “What’s that mean?” Timmy chimed in, snapping Esther from her focus. Damn, that boy was fast! “Its water hemlock,” Esther explained “makes sense since y’all live in the marsh. The stuff grows all over.” The boy's face turned ashen. “Wait! Like poison hemlock!?” The halfblood gasped, amber eyes widening. “No no nonono!” He mumbled, dropping to his knees. No doubt he had heard the stories that surrounded the deadly herb, most often it affected children tempted by their flowers, or uneducated travelers that mistook them for wild parsnips. The effects were… not pretty. “Don't panic,” Esther commanded placing a comforting hand on the young man’s back “It seems to be in its early stages but we need to work fast if we want to-'' she was cut off by a violent thrashing, followed by a loud crack as an unfortunately placed wooden stool was reduced to splinters by the gator man’s muscular tail. Right, muscle spasms. A low beastial hiss escaped the man, crazed golden eyes scanning the stranger in his home. “It’s okay Bodie, it’s okay! I brought her here to help!” Timothy reassured the larger man to no avail. Only then had it occurred to her just how strong this man was, even in such a weakened state. She also realized how dangerous this could be for her, even the most gentle folks could be violent when in pain. Not to mention water hemlock was known for inducing hallucinations. “He’s not like this usually, honest!” the younger halfblood pleaded, sensing the witch’s hesitation, “Bodie’s just, not in his right mind is all! Please don’t leave!” Did this poor boy really think she was going to abandon them at the first sign of danger?

He couldn’t be more than nineteen and he’d just risked life and limb to get her here, to save someone who clearly was very dear to him. “Trust me son, I’ve seen worse than this,” she reassured, “we just need to be careful. Even peaceful folk do wild things when they're hurting, and by the divines I’m sure he’s hurting.” She began to draw various magical herbs and ingredients from her bag, preparing a makeshift ink from water and charcoal to prepare her glyphs. Now for the hard part; drawing the glyphs. “The potion is simple so I’ll talk you through it,” she instructed, “but I need to get this fever down fast. So I’m gonna use a spell, the thing is: I’ll have to get up close and personal.” Timmy gazed at Bodie, who had already fallen back into a fever induced sleep. “Do what you need to do.” He nodded. Esther grabbed a cloth Timothy had brought and gently brought it to Bodie’s forehead, wiping it down so she could place the glyphs.

She dipped her index finger into the charcoal mixture, praying the man before her would stay still long enough for her to cast the spell. As if on cue he started to stir. “I’m gonna need you to be still for a bit,” she soothed, brushing away the stray bangs that had fallen onto his face, “I won’t bother you for long.” “Mama?” The man croaked, squinting at the women who knelt over him. “Oh honey…” Esther’s heart melted at the gator man’s confabulation. Her stiletto nails combed through the man’s hair as yellow eyes brimming with tears gazed up at her. “Mama? Mama, I’m so sorry!” He hiccuped, hot tears rolling down his face, “I couldn’t save him…” He clearly needed someone right now, and despite her previous trepidations, the woman did her best to offer as much relief as she could. “It’s okay sweetie,” she cooed, “I’m here now, I’m here. I’m gonna help you best I can.”

Suddenly, the man threw an arm around her waist, holding her to his chest. She knew she could escape if she really wanted to, a few good kicks and she’d be free. But look at the poor man! He didn’t want to hurt her! If anything he was looking for comfort, and who was she to deny him. Besides this gave her an opportunity to get close enough to place the glyphs. “Don’t leave Mama…please, not again.” The man whimpered, pulling her into a hug. “Don’t worry honey I won’t.” She crooned, shifting slightly, “I promise I won’t.”

[toiletpotato]

going to try to make samoosas today because I want to eat them but don't want to pay $7 for two

[thedreamparadox]

NiGHTS can sense when they are about to be subject to a category 5 Autism Event and they are fine with it every time

NiGHTS is about to learn so many things every time this happens and they are ready for it each and every time. Sit down and listen to a human explain things about human things for the next several minutes/hours? They are absolutely down for it.

[rubberbandballqueen]

spent work shift today Expanding Pocket.... finally, phone FITS in POCKET again!!!!!!

[newtgeiszler]

planned obsolescence is out of damn control. there was once a time that a bedframe, any simple bedframe, could withstand the weight of two 300-pound men going at it obscene style, as nature intended. it was furniture made by REAL carpenters. now the darn things can barely withstand a sensual threesome between 3 scrawny lesbian twinks. with the march of capitalism driving the profit incentive over efficiency, now we all have shitty overpriced bedframes and everyone has to suffer the effects of homophobia.

[drjdorr]

Ever see something that looks nice and you want it and there is this nice convenient link so you click it and suddenly Wham "Oh rights, things cost money"

[sunlightbouquet]

the city i live in has been making me really depressed lately nobody wants you to stay anywhere anymore. coffee shops don't have seating, restaurants are begging you to take out. bus stops don't have benches, public spaces, few as they are, are being stripped of anywhere you can stay for longer than a few minutes.

there's a new cafe on a corner near where i live, and it takes up a beautiful corner spot in a cute little neighborhood. huge windows, great chunk of sidewalk perfect for outdoor seating. the inside is spacious and well lit. the counter barely takes up 1/5 of the store. there are two tables and five seats in that building. there are none outside. what is the point of all of this? who are you serving?

the largest chain coffee place near my university doesn't even HAVE seats. it's a sizeable piece of real estate, right outside a major walkway. the inside is for waiting for your drink and leaving as quickly as possible.

nobody wants you to stay anywhere.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Kept Me Like a Secret When I Kept You Like An Oath

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Synopsis: Tony has a strict rule against you dating, so when he finds out you and Peter have been dating behind his back, he comes up with a lie to keep you apart

Masterlist

“Hey love bug, do you know the Hulu password?” Tony asked you once you opened your door for him.

“Oh, yeah. It’s flower power boo boo foot. No spaces.” You quickly answered and tried to shut the door on your dad.

“I thought so too. But I tried that and it didn’t work.” Tony sighed and pushed your door right back open.

“Did you capitalize every first letter?”

“Yep. No dice.”

“Try “smithereens”. I think that’s the new one.” You told him and tried to shut the door again.

“I tried that too. That’s the Netflix password.” Tony shook his head, oblivious to the fact you were trying to get rid of him.

“Oh darn. I guess I don’t know it then.” You faked a laugh and tried to close your door.

“Didn’t we change it at some point to America’s ass? No spaces?” Tony asked and pushed your door back open.

“We did. But then Steve got mad so we made it “Steve’s a Virgin” for a couple weeks. Then he got more mad so we made it “smithereens”. If it’s not that anymore, then I don’t know it.”

“Huh. Then I’ll just change it to “buckysucks” and write it down.” Tony decided.

“Good plan.” You nodded quickly and prayed he’d leave.

“All right. Thanks, kiddo.”

“Bye, daddy.” You smiled sweetly and shut your door with your free hand.

Your other hand, which had been out of sight that whole conversation, was covering Peters mouth as he hid from Tony. His back was pressed against the wall beside your door and he was holding his breath to be as quiet as possible. He placed his hand over yours to keep quiet, his hand that was still covered by his Spiderman suit.

“That was a close one.” You said as you took your hand off his mouth.

“I know. But how exciting was it?” Peter grinned as he scooped you up. You shrieked in excitement before pulling Peter into a kiss. He never broke the kiss as he walked you over to your bed and laid you down on it. Just when you were getting into a groove, you heard a knock at the door. Peter flew to the ceiling and stuck to it as you sat up and smoothed your hair.

“Honey, one more thing.” Tony said as he opened your door.

“Yes daddy?” You smiled sweetly and tried to discreetly catch your breath.

“Can you send me that chicken recipe again? I want to make it for dinner tonight.”

“You mean you want our chef to make it for dinner tonight?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Precisely.”

“I’ll send it to you.” You told him and immediately sent it to get rid of him quicker.

“Are you feeling okay, pumpkin? You look a little sweaty.” Tony asked, making you gulp. Your eyes flicked to your ceiling, where Peter was hanging upside down and holding his breath.

“I’m good. Probably just coming down with something.” You laughed nervously and wiped your forehead.

“Oh no. I’ll make you some tea.”

“Thanks daddy.” You blew him a kiss as he shut the door. Once he was gone, Peter dropped down from the ceiling and landed on your bed.

“You really need to get a lock on your door.” Peter chuckled and leaned in again.

“Where’s the fun in that?” You scoffed and cupped his face to kiss him. As much as you hated hiding your relationship from your dad, the thrill of having a secret made it all that much more exciting. It had been three months of you and Peter sneaking around now and you were starting to get less careful.

A couple days later, Tony went into Peters room to talk to him about upgrading his suit. He wandered around and looked at the various things on Peters desk as he spoke until something caught his eye.

“Now this is interesting.” Tony said as he leaned over Peters desk.

“Tell me about it. That’s not even the first flock of birds to drop out of the sky this year.” Peter answered, thinking Tony was looking at the science magazine he had open on his desk.

“Actually, I meant these.” Tony said and held up a lavender pair of your underwear.

“Oh my God.” Peter gasped as all the color drained from his face.

“You know, Parker, I had you pegged for more of a boxer briefs kinda guy.” Tony chuckled and dropped the underwear back onto the desk.

“Those aren’t mine.” Peter quickly explained.

“Really? I thought Victoria Secret No Show panties would be perfect for you in your skin tight suit.” Tony teased.

“Sorry about that. It won’t happen again.”

“Well don’t stop doing what you’re doing on account of me. I am many things but I am not one to blicken anyones chicken.”

“Blicken - oh. Cock block. I get it.” Peter sighed in disappointment.

“So who’s the lucky lady?” Tony asked and took a seat on Peters bed.

“Oh, uh, we don’t have to talk about this. Don’t worry. May already had “the talk” with me.” Peter laughed nervously and hoped Tony would get the hint to drop it.

“I don’t mind it. You’re the closest thing I have to a son and I always thought I’d be really good at giving the sex talk.”

“You’ve always thought that?” Peter scrunched his nose.

“Let’s just talk basics so I can get out of your hair. Are you guys being safe?”

“Yes. Totally safe.” Peter assured him.

“Good. Because we don’t know how radioactive your web fluid is, if you catch my drift.”

“I wish I didn’t but I do.” Peter grimaced.

“So is it just one girl or are you running some kind of brothel in here?” Tony questioned.

“Just one girl. My girlfriend.” Peter said with a shy smile.

“Well I’ll be. You’ve taken a lover.” Tony smiled proudly and patted Peters knee.

“Yeah, I guess I have.” Peter laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Oh, I get it. I recognize the blush of a smitten man. I get the same blush every time I catch my reflection in a building when I pass by it. How long have you been seeing this girl?”

“Three months. But the…other stuff only started recently.”

“Good for you for waiting. I’ll have you know that Pepper and I waited. I’ll also have you know that Pepper couldn’t stand me for the first few years she knew me.”

“Yeah. She’s mentioned that.” Peter chuckled.

“Do you love her? And follow up, have you told her if you have?”

“I haven’t told her yet. But I do. I love her with all my heart.”

“Then why haven’t you told her?”

“I’m scared too. I’m scared she doesn’t love me back yet.” Peter admitted for the first time out loud.

“Peter, she’s been dating you for three months and is willing to sneak into the highly secluded Avengers tower just to bust it open for you. I think it’s safe to assume she loves you.”

“Maybe.” Peter laughed shyly and started to feel a twinge of guilt for lying to Tony about who he was dating.

“How does she get in here anyway? I’ve never seen a girl around here.” Tony realized, making Peter gulp.

“I swing her up to my window.” Peter quickly lied.

“Aw. Like Rapunzel.”

“Yeah. Exactly like Rapunzel.” Peter nodded in agreement.

“Well I’m happy for you, kid. I really am. Any girl would be lucky to be dating a man like you. And I know if my daughter ever brought home a guy like you, I’d be damn proud of her for picking a good one.” Tony said and patted Peters shoulder. Peter looked at Tony’s hand on his shoulder and felt like he could cry. It was one of the most sincere and heartfelt things Tony had ever said to Peter and it killed Peter that it happened because of a lie.

“Do you really mean that?” Peter asked quietly.

“I do. I saw greatness in you the day I met you, kiddo. And I’ve seen in everyday since.” Tony said with a fond smile.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark. That means a lot to me.” Peter answered and put his hand over Tony’s. Inside, it was absolutely killing Peter to lie to Tony’s face in that moment. His guilt doubled and he knew he had to come clean as soon as possible.

“Well now I’ve made myself uncomfortable by expressing my feelings. I’m gonna leave now before an awkward silence settles in. See you at dinner?” Tony cleared his throat awkwardly and stood up from Peter’s bed.

“See you at dinner.” Peter nodded and felt relived that Tony was leaving.

“K. Love you.” Tony said as he walked towards the door.

“I love you too.” Peter said sincerely.

“Gross.” Tony grimaced. He then winked at Peter before leaving his room. Once he was gone, Peter felt himself get emotional as tears slipped down his face. He couldn’t believe he just lied to a man who had given him so much. Peter quickly wiped his face and went to your room to settle this before it went any further.

“Hey.” You smiled when you opened your door and saw him.

“Hey. Can we talk?” Peter asked as he came in and shut the door behind him.

“Oh. Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not okay. I just talked to your dad.”

“Did you tell him about us?” You worried and sat on your bed.

“No. But he found your underwear in my room.” Peter sighed as sat beside you.

“Oh no. What did you tell him?” You laughed, still not understanding the gravity of the situation.

“That I have a girlfriend.”

“Okay. Maybe this will work in our favor. It’ll be easier to sneak around if he knows you’re dating someone.” You shrugged. Peter kept his eyes on his lap and you noticed that his leg was bouncing nervously.

“What’s wrong?” You asked and placed your hand on his knee to calm him down. Peter sucked in a sharp breath before getting emotional again.

“I don’t want to sneak around anymore. I can’t keep lying to your dad like this. I can’t do it.” Peter said with watery eyes.

“Peter, we talked about this. He can’t know about us. He made it very clear that I’m not allowed to date until I’m 21.” You sighed and withdrew your hand.

“I know we talked about it. But he and I had a great conversation and I really think things will be different. He just told me he’d be proud of you if you brought home a guy like me.”

“Peter, he says that now as a hypothetical but if he knew we were actually dating, he would feel differently.”

“I cannot keep breaking his trust like this. It’s killing me to lie to him. And I don’t know what’s gonna be worse. When he finds out I’m dating you or when he finds out I lied to his face about it.” Peter got off your bed and started to pace your room in a panic.

“If he finds out about us, he’s just gonna flip out and tell us we’re too young and too dumb to date. He’ll never be okay with this.” You reminded Peter as you got off your bed. You put your hands on his shoulders to calm him down and he stopped pacing.

“I know. But what’s he gonna do? It’s not like he can force us to break up.”

“Maybe not. But he can take your suit away and kick you out of the tower. Or make FRIDAY lock you out of my room permanently. Or make sure we are never alone together. He’s Tony Stark. He had infinite resources and time on his hands. If he wants us to break up, he will find a way.”

“Then we will just find a way to be together. No matter what he does.” Peter promised as he took your hands.

“But it will never be the same. Isn’t it better to lie to him so we can be together like this for as long as possible?”

“I’m not a liar. And he knows that.” Peter shook his head decidedly and let go of your hands. You folded your arms and stared at Peter for a minute, knowing he had already made up his mind. You hated lying to your dad just as much as Peter did, but you knew it was the only way for you to remain together.

“Can you just give me a little more time? Just in case he forces us apart?” You asked quietly and took Peter’s hands again. He looked at your hands and sighed before nodding his head.

“Okay. We’ll keep it a secret for a little longer.”

“Thank you.” You smiled and cupped his face to kiss him. When you pulled away, Peter got a look on his face that you didn’t recognize.

“Was there something else?” You asked him.

“Yeah. I…” Peter began but trailed off when he lost his nerve. He wanted to tell you he loved you, but his fear stopped him once again.

“Never mind. I’ll tell you later.” Peter faked a smile.

“Okay. Tell me later.”

The next day, you left to go on a recon mission with some of the other Avengers. Peter stayed back at the tower since his powers wouldn’t be useful and spent the week listlessly lounging around as he waited for you to come back. Finally, he got an alert that the quintet had landed on the rooftop. Peter excitedly jumped off his bed and ran into the foyer to see you. When he got there, he saw Tony and some other Avengers, but no you.

“Hey. Did the mission go okay?” Peter asked as he scanned the room for you.

“For the most part. Until Y/n got hit with a missile.” Tony said causally.

“What?!” Peter shrieked. “How did that happen?”

“She stood right in front of a middle launch pad.” Steve answered like it was the most simple thing in the world.

“Yeah. It was 100% her fault.” Tony chuckled. “She’ll be okay though. She’s recovering in the medical wing.”

“I have to see her.” Peter said and tried to push past Tony.

“Slow your roll there, Parker.” Tony stopped him. “She’s got open wounds so the doctor doesn’t want any outside germs in the room with her. You can see her when she’s out in a couple days.”

“No, no, no. I need to be in there with her.” Peter started to panic and tried to go towards your room again.

“No, you do not. You can see her after.” Tony pushed Peter back again with an annoyed laugh.

“You don’t understand. I need to see her now.” Peters eyes teared up as he tried one last time to get around Tony. By this point, Tony was more than suspicious and had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“What don’t I understand? Why exactly do you need to see her so badly?” Tony questioned as he folded his arms. From the desperation in Peters voice, Tony had figured out what was going on. And from the tone in Tony’s voice, Peter figured he knew exactly what Peter was about to say. Peter stared at Tony for a minute as he went over his options in his head. He knew you didn’t want your dad to know about your relationship yet, but it might be his only chance of getting to see you while you were hurt. With the knowledge of you being hurt clouding his judgment, he made a snap decision.

“Because I love her.” Peter said quietly. Tony’s jaw locked as his suspicions were confirmed.

“Excuse me?” Tony asked in a low voice.

“Mr. Stark, I am in love with your daughter. And I need be with her. Please.” Peter pleaded in a shaking voice.

“I thought you had a girlfriend?” Tony asked as he folded his arms.

“I do. It’s her.”

“You’ve been dating my daughter behind my back for three months?”

“Yes. I have. And I know you’re going to yell and scream and throw things at me but before you do, please understand that I never wanted to lie to you. She asked me to keep our relationship a secret so I did. Because I would do anything for her. Absolutely anything.”

Tony stared at him for a long time but said nothing. Peter didn’t know this, but Tony was tallying up in his head all the times you and Peter had lied to him to keep your relationship a secret.

“Okay. You can yell at me now.” Peter said and braced himself.

“I’m not going to yell at you.”

“You’re not?”

“You didn’t tell me for three months?” Tony asked again, sadness in his voice this time.

“No. I didn’t.” Peter admitted, making Tony nod his head.

“I expected more from you.” Tony said without looking into Peters eyes.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but-“

“You will move all your stuff out by tonight.” Tony cut him off. “You will go back to living with May. Happy will call you if -and that’s a big if- I need you for a mission. Other than that, you are not affiliated with the Avengers. You are not welcome in this tower. And you are never, ever, to speak to my daughter again. Do you understand?”

“Mr. Stark, I know you’re mad but-“

“Do you understand?” Tony cut him off again by yelling. Peter felt tears come to his eyes but he nodded his head.

“Yes sir.” Peter said quietly.

“Good. Now go.” Tony said and pointed to the door. Peter noticed Tony’s finger was shaking but said nothing. He reluctantly walked towards the door and before he could open it, he heard Tony’s voice again.

“I am so disappointed in you.” Tony said, delivering the final blow. Peter quickly left the room before Tony could see him cry.

By the time you woke up, Peter was long gone. You struggled to sit up and winced when you felt the wound on your side.

“Daddy? What happened?” You asked as you rubbed your eyes.

“Hey sweetheart. Welcome back. You got absolutely wasted by a missile.” Tony said in a soft voice.

“Typical.” You sighed. “Are there any major injuries?”

“Your ear is shot but the doctor said it’s only temporary.”

“Good thing Clint taught us all ASL.” You signed to Tony.

“Yeah. Good thing.” Tony signed back. You smiled and squeezed his hand before looking around the room.

“Has anyone come by to see me?” You asked, but meant someone in particular.

“Everybody has. This is the first time your room has been empty since you got here.”

“Aw. I can’t wait to see them all.” You smiled softly when you noticed the cards and flowers in your room that the team had left.

“They can’t wait to see you.”

“Did Peter come by?” You asked, making Tony’s smile drop.

“No. He hasn’t.” Tony said quietly.

“He hasn’t?” You frowned. “Does he know what happened?”

“Well he’s been a little busy so I’m not sure he heard the news.” Tony lied to you without even thinking about it.

“Busy? With what?” You laughed skeptically and looked around for your phone to text Peter.

“Well you know how he has a girlfriend?”

“Yeah. I heard about that.” You replied without looking your dad in his eyes.

“Well the security cameras caught Peter sneaking her into the tower while we were gone. I found that a little disrespectful so I told him that if he wanted overnight guests, he’d have to bring them to his own home. He agreed and said he’d be sleeping back at his apartment with May from now on.” Tony lied to you as he said the first thing that popped into his head.

“Wait, what? You saw Peter with a girl?”

“With his girlfriend, yes.” Tony continued to lie. He knew you were Peters girlfriend, but you didn’t know he knew, so he was taking advantage.

“That isn’t possible.” You laughed uncomfortably.

“Why not?” Tony played dumb.

“Because…” You began then trailed off. You didn’t know Tony already knew about you and Peter so you were still determined to keep the secret. So as much as you wanted to tell your dad that what he was saying meant Peter was cheating on you, you had to keep quiet.

“Nothing. No reason. I’m just surprised he brought a girl here. And now he’s moving out?”

“Yep. He moved all his stuff out already. He was being weird about the whole thing. He seemed super freaked out when I told him that I knew about the girl. He even begged me not to tell you. Isn’t that strange? I don’t know why he thought you would care.” Tony shrugged as he fed you more of the lie. He watched your face crumple and knew he was hurting you but decided it was for the best.

“Yeah. Me either.” You said quietly as you fought back tears.

“Well I’ll let you get some rest, kiddo. See you in the morning.” Tony kissed your forehead before leaving your room. As soon as he was gone, you pulled your comforter over your head and cried yourself to sleep.

Tony’s plan worked and you ended up blocking Peters number before he had a chance to reach out to you. And while kicking Peter out kept the two of you apart while you recovered from your injury, Tony didn’t account for the fact that you and Peter went to the same college. Peter finally saw you again on your first day back at school and pushed people out of the way to get to you.

“There you are. I’ve been texting and calling you like crazy for the past two weeks. Why haven’t you answered me?”

You ignored Peter and continued putting your books away in your locker. Peter blinked a few times in confusion before trying again.

“Are you okay? I never even got to see you after your accident. Is everything all right with you? I was so worried.” Peter asked and rubbed your arm. You pushed his hand away and slammed your locker before walking away. Peter shook his head in confusion before running after you.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” He asked and stepped in front of you.

“What do you want Peter?” You sighed.

“What do I want? To talk to my girlfriend, maybe. I’d like to start there.” He said sarcastically.

“Oh, your girlfriend? Which one?” You asked and folded your arms.

“Huh?”

“My dad told me about the other girl. I know that’s why you moved out. Did you really think you could cheat on me in my own house and I wouldn’t find out?” You asked before walking away again. Peter looked up at the ceiling to ask the sky what the hell you were talking about before running after you. He caught up to you and placed his hands on your shoulders to stop you.

“What the hell are you even talking about? Cheat on you? With who?” Peter exclaimed.

“I don’t know her name.” You rolled your eyes. “All I know is my dad said he saw you with another girl when I was gone on the mission.”

“What?!” Peter shrieked. “That never happened. All I did when you were gone was wait for you to come back.”

“Then why did you move out?”

“Because your dad kicked me out!” Peter exclaimed before looking around for who might be listening.

“Because your dad kicked me out.” He whispered, making you roll your eyes again.

“Why would he do that?”

“Because found out about us. Or, I told him about us. But only because you were hurt and I was scared so I panicked and blurted that I…”

“That you…” You urged him to finish his sentence once he trailed off. Peter looked at you for a minute and decided that the only way to get you to understand what happened was to tell you the whole truth.

“That I love you. I told him that I loved you. That’s how he found out.” Peter admitted. Your angry expression immediately melted to one of confusion as you dropped your guard.

“You told my dad you loved me before you told me?”

“It wasn’t exactly planned.” Peter said quietly. Your face lit up in a fond smile as peters face burned bright red.

“You love me?” You asked and took peters hands.

“A whole lot, unfortunately.”

“Peter.” You gushed and wrapped your arms around his neck. He immediately hugged your back and melted into your touch after weeks of silence from you.

“Wait, I’m mad at you.” You remembered and let go of him.

“Baby girl, do you think it’s possible that your dad lied about me cheating to get you to hate me?” Peter asked slowly.

“Why would he want me to hate you?”

“Because if you hate me, you’re not gonna beg him to let us be together. It was kind of a genius move if you think about it. You didn’t know that he knew about us so he made up a story to get you to hate me. That way, he didn’t have to break us up or hear about why we should be together.”

“Damn it. He is a genius.” You whispered when you realized Peter was probably right. Peter stepped forward and cupped your face in his hands so you’d look at him.

“I didn’t cheat on you, honey. I swear. I think we both know I’m not organized or coordinated enough to pull that off.”

“You’re right. I don’t know why I believed him so easily. Maybe because he told me while I was still high on morphine.” You sighed and wrapped your arms around Peter again.

“So we’re okay?” He asked hopefully. You broke into a smile and kissed him before pulling away.

“I love you too.” You told him before kissing him again.

“Now let’s go kill my dad.” You said sweetly once you pulled away.

“Aw.” Peter smiled. “Wait, what?”

~

“I don’t think this is a good idea. He’s gonna kill me.” Peter whispered to you as you walked hand in hand to the main room of the tower.

“Probably.” You whispered back, making Peter stop in his tracks.

“What?! So why are we doing this?”

“Because it’s what’s right. He can’t get mad at us for lying to him and then turn around and do the same thing to me by lying to my face. We are in love and there is no reason we shouldn’t be together. And that’s exactly what I’m gonna tell him.” You said as you grabbed his hand to continue pulling him. When you got to the main room, you saw most of the team sitting around.

“Oh good. Everybody’s here.” You said, getting everyone’s attention. Tony’s eyes went from Peters face to your intertwined hands before he stood up.

“What’s he doing here?” Tony asked angrily and pointed to Peter. Peter looked at you in fear but you squeezed his hand to let him know it was going to be okay.

“Everyone, Peter and I have something to tell you. We are in love and in a relationship.” You announced and waited for reactions. Everyone looked at each other but no one seemed particularly interested.

“Um, congrats? Is that really something that needed to be announced?” Natasha laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, no offense guys, but I don’t think anyone cares that you two are together.” Steve said and everyone nodded in agreement.

“Oh. Damn. Anticlimactic.” You mumbled under your breath. Tony, on the other hand, was not as nonchalant.

“Like hell you are.” Tony scoffed. “This is not happening. Not under my roof or anywhere else that I own. Which is a lot of property, by the way.”

“Dad, you can’t keep Peter and I apart. Especially not by lying to me and saying he cheated on me.”

“Yeah, I kinda can’t believe you bought that. I came up with it on the spot.” Tony dropped his anger for a second to snort.

“Oh my God.” You face palmed.

“It wasn’t fair to me. I’ve been nothing but loyal, helpful, and respectful towards you. You had no reason to kick me out and lie about me.” Peter spoke up, getting everyone’s attention.

“Uh, here’s a reason.” Tony scoffed and held up a finger. “You had sexual intercourse with my off spring. I freaking found her panties in your room next to your Lego police station!”

“Your “off spring” is my girlfriend, okay? It’s not like Y/n and I are just hooking up. We are dating and in love and it is none of your business. So I’m sorry if you don’t like that we’re together, but I’m also not sorry. Because you need to get over it. She’s an adult and she can date whoever she wants. So you can kick me out of the tower and try to keep us apart, but you’ll never be able to break us up. We love each other and we don’t care how that makes you feel.”

“Yeah.” You chimed in. “If you kick him out, I’ll just go with him. And I don’t care if you emancipate me because of it. I’d rather be poor with him than rich without him.”

“Did you just stand up to me?” Tony asked with tight eyes.

“Did you just call me poor?” Peter asked you.

“Yes?” You answered both their questions with a question.

“Wow. Things are becoming clearer. Words are being processed. Previously held opinions are being changed. Gasp! I realizing that I was…wrong?” Tony gasped and sat back down on the couch with a dumbfounded expression.

“He is unbearable sometimes.” Steve groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah, wait a minute. Tony, did you really do that? Did you really kick Peter out and lie to your kid?” Natasha asked.

“I will admit that I lied to my beloved daughter about the loyalty of her boyfriend to split them up. And that I may have slightly overreacted when I heard Peter and Y/n were an item.” Tony confessed, making everyone groan.

“Is that it? You’re just admitting to something we already know you did?” You asked and folded your arms. Peter put an arm around you to show that he supported you and judging by the looks of everyone else’s faces, they supported you too. Tony looked around the room before letting out a sigh.

“I ran so hot when I was young. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to settle down and start a family. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t think anyone would want to with me. So when your mother got pregnant, I swore I would be the most devoted and loving father I possible could be. And once your mom and I split up, I worried that I’d be your father but I wouldn’t be your dad, you know? I was so excited that you chose to live with me. I thought it would always be the two of us. Plus the 10 adults who also live with us.”

“I think we’re up to 12 now.” Sam mumbled.

“I wasn’t expecting a boyfriend.” Tony continued. “You’re still 6 in my head. You’re still my little girl. And I just didn’t know how to handle finding my little girls drawers in Peters bedroom.”

“Little girls grow up eventually.” You told him.

“I know.” Tony sighed. “But eventually is a lot different from actually.”

“Well just because you didn’t want me to grow up doesn’t excuse what you did.” You stood your ground.

“I see that now. I’m sorry that I lied to you. I did it without thinking it through and it was wrong of me.” Tony apologized and you nodded in satisfaction.

“Okay. Now Peter.” You said and pushed Peter forward.

“Excuse me?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“What’s that now?” Peter turned to you to ask.

“Apologize to Peter.” You told him. “I wasn’t the only one you wronged.”

“She’s right. How could you kick Peter out? He’s the only one who knows the HBO Max password.” Natasha pointed out.

“It’s “fuckyfarnes”.” Peter said quietly.

“Yeah. That wasn’t cool Tony. You better apologize to him.” Steve agreed. Tony rolled his eyes to the ceiling and swung his arms like a little kid before looking at Peter.

“I’m sorry, kid. I shouldn’t have kicked you out like that. It didn’t bother me as much that Y/n lied. Daughters lie to their dads. It’s human nature. But when I realized you’d been lying to me…I don’t know. I felt betrayed. You weren’t my kid lying to me. You were my friend.”

“Well I’m sorry I lied. But we wouldn’t have had to lie to you if you didn’t have a crazy rule have against Y/n dating anybody until she’s 21.” Peter defended.

“Wait, you seriously made that a rule? Did you lock her in a tower too and tell her not to let her hair down for anybody?” Sam snorted.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time, okay?” Tony defended. “I didn’t want her to end up like Taylor Swift. Taylor’s heart was broken way too many times as a teenager and then again on her 21st birthday. I didn’t want the same fate for my daughter.”

“How do you know how many times Taylor Swift’s heart was broken?” Steve asked in confusion.

“Clearly you’ve never listened to her discography because she is very specific about the ages to weary of.” Tony said with a roll of his eyes.

“It’s true. She is. 7, 13, 15, 17, 18, 19.” You listed off.

“22.” Tony added.

“I thought 22 is the good age?” Steve asked.

“Not according to “Nothing New” it’s not.” Tony scoffed and you nodded in agreement.

“Can we circle back to the topic anytime soon?” Peter asked but everyone ignored him.

“Why are the years from 17 to 21 so perilous?” Bucky raised his hand to ask.

“Because at 17 you don’t know anyhting and nobody understands. 18 is actually good because you know everything but 19 is bad because you dance with the devil while you’re too young to be messed with. 20 is a year of neutral good but 21 is when Jake Gyllenhaal takes your virginity and your scarf and then doesn’t show up to your birthday party.” Tony explained.

“I gotta start listening to this girls music because what the actual fuck?” Steve blew out a breath of exhaustion.

“Who is Jake Gyllenhaal and does he take everyone’s virginity at 21 or does he pick and choose?” Bucky raised his hand to ask. Tony started to answer but Peter cut him off.

“SHUT UP ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT.” Peter shouted and everyone went silent.

“Never.” Tony whispered after a beat of silence and then looked around as if to find who said that.

“Sorry Peter.” You said. “Daddy, you may proceed with your apology.”

“Look Peter, I’ll admit that what I did was wrong and an overreaction. But I’m also not totally comfortable with you living here knowing you and my daughter are fadoodling.”

“But dad.” You whined and stamped your foot a little.

“She makes a good point there.” Sam said and pointed to you.

“Nope. Absolutely not. You are way too young to be living with your boyfriend.”

“But Mr. Stark.” Peter whined. “May already turned my room into her crafting center.”

“I don’t care. That’s my compromise. You can date my daughter but you cannot live under my roof.”

“What if I don’t date your daughter and continue living under your roof?” Peter asked, making everyone go silent.

“Okay. That was a hilarious joke but fine. Don’t laugh. I don’t even care.” Peter mumbled under his breath.

“Final offer. Take it or leave it, kid.” Tony said and held out his hand.

“What if Peter moves back in but we set a curfew for when we can be in each others room until?” You suggested.

“What if I move out because living here is constant drama and I find you all unbearable?” Sam asked with a smile.

“Fine.” Tony reluctantly agreed. “Peter can move back in but there will be a strict curfew enforced. And I better never find my daughters underwear in your Legos ever again.”

“I can promise you that.” Peter said and eagerly shook Tonys hand.

“So we’re good? Everybody forgives everybody?” You asked hopefully.

“I think so.” Tony said and patted Peters shoulder.

“Me too. And hey, maybe this curfew will prevent us from having another pregnancy scare. Remember how scary that was?” Peter joked to lighten the mood. Tony’s smile immediately crumbled as his grip on Peters shoulder tightened. The rest of the team cringed and braced themselves for Tony’s reaction.

“What did you just say?” Tony asked through clenched teeth.

“Oh my God.” You whispered. “Peter, run. Run fast before he kills you.”

Tag List 🏷️

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @serendipitous-amor @tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl

@jackiehollanderr @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow

@unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever

@undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave​ ​ @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild

@canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman

@smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger

@electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @horanxholland

@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey

[clarity2electricboogaloo]

Outsiders as things me, friends, and family have said

———

Darry: Close your door while you’re changing man, gosh darn!

———

*waiting at a drivethrough and it’s taking forever*

Darry: good lord, are they raising the chickens in there or something?

———

Ponyboy in blue

———

Pony and soda

———

Average two bit and his mom interaction

———

Johnny and pony

———

Johnny: guys, let’s pretend we’re parrots

Johnny: Polly want a cracker!

Dally: yeah you want a cracker, his name is ponyboy (not original name from convo lmao)

———

Darry: you will eat and leave no crumbs (the context is my dad said this)

———

Steve: Stop locking the other bathroom door

Ponyboy: but the dEMONS ARE GONNA GET Mee

Steve: I’m gonna be the demon that gets you if you don’t stop

———

Dally: I have never touched a bible because if I did I would disintegrate and die

Ponyboy: so coquette

———

Pony: It’s pie day

Soda: What?

Pony: It’s 3.14

Soda: No it Thursday

Pony: *wheeeezeee*

Pony: N-no Soda it’s march 14thhh

Soda: NO it’s Thursday!

———

Soda: the jour…the—

Pony: Geneva Convention????

Soda: journey—WHAT

———

Steve: “what if we just made out in the bathroom during 6th period”

Soda: “wHAT??”

———

Johnny: “The bangs are not banging today”

Johnny: “Wait”

Pony: “BAHHHAHAHAHJAJAJAJAH”

———

Darry: don’t eat plastic bags guys

———

Cherry: are you gaslight gatekeep girlbossing right now

Ponyboy: what’s the boyfailure version of that

Cherry: you

———

Twobit: I will go against capitalism and steal.

———

Johnny: you’re gay

Pony: REALLY??

Johnny: yeah

Pony: I THOUGHT I WAS STRAIGHT

———

That’s all I’m willing to do, I have been scrolling through my quotes on discord for a very long time.

I really wanna label which quotes I said just to show how absolutely hilarious I am (in denial of my own terrible comedy)

A lot of the ponyboy quotes were me 🧍🏽‍♂️

[gok1bvri72]

×+×+×+ Random Death the Kid splurbs +×+×+×

/Reader's Gender/: Irrelevant, not mentioned

/SFW ofc/

Honestly just me simping for this boy, I simply adore him! He's just so funny>< My cringe, 2000s - 2010s mindset just eats up all the very angsty content that is just a beautiful snapshot of the era! I wish I could have just have been old enough to have experienced it myself T^T

_______________________________________

MMMMM THIS BOY HAS NO DARN RIGHT BEING THIS /FINE/.

Okay but seriously how did you land him, I want clear cut directions and instructions.

All the girls (and even some boys👁👁) are INCREDIBLY jealous of you. Kid's the cutest boy in the school!

/And/ he is Lord Death's son! Literally just about every girl is seething at you when you walk past them, biting on their shirt/dress collars all angry like.

If I had to guess, it was probably you who asked him out.

He may be absolutely gorgeous, stunning, and have a silver tongue but that doesn't exactly mean he knows how to use any of it....

What I'm saying is is guy is /awkward/ with a capital A.

Sweetheart with good intentions once you get to his core and can find a way to look past his obsession with folding toilet paper, but still awkward regardless.

So whether you boldly walked up to him and declared your love with a bouquet of roses and dramatic lighting and music or you were stumbling over your words, on the verge of crying and soiling your pants, and just giving up and running away- you were still the one to ask him out first.

Depending on how you asked I can see him responding in a plethora of ways but my favourite is dead ass looking you in the eye and saying "Even though I'm asymmetrical garbage?" while a singular tear just dramatically trails down his cheek.

Realistically he probably just said yes at first cuz he had nothing better to do. Or if you were the ladder option of the before, probably felt bad.

But the more time you guys hung out the more he found himself beginning to actually /like/ like you.

Maybe you were helping him snap back into focus during his episodes- or maybe you were trying to make him happy by dressing as symmetrically as you could and folding your toilet paper. (Even if it wasn't perfect, it's the sentiment that counted for him this time.)

At first, it just felt weird when you weren't around and he would find himself thinking about you in those situations. But then he started finding himself actively seeking you out when you weren't there.

He would be having a perfectly normal Sunday and then he would find a picture that reminded him of you in a magazine or maybe saw a shirt in the clothes store's window that he thought you would look cute in.

Then he would begin to wonder what you were doing at that moment. He would find himself missing your presence. And when he noticed this, he immediately denied it.

He just agreed to hang out cuz he felt bad/was bored, right? /Right?/

But it kept happening, more and more. It began to happen when he was on missions, he would get distracted and slip up. Okay, this wasn't working out. He needed to do something about this.

He asked you to partner with him on missions.

Let's assume you're a weapon in this scenario. (If you're a meister you just go with him with your own weapon.)

His excuse was "Well if Liz or Patty is out of commission, I can't fight. And since you're a set of perfectly symmetrical twin blades you would make for an excellent back up."

So you started going on missions with him, a lot.

But one time, Patty got sick. So just you and Kid went on the mission while Liz stayed home to take care of her.

This started happening more and more. (Not the Patty getting sick part, although she did probably get sick off of eating crayons regularly a few times.)

At this point, you were essentially going on as many solo missions with him that he had gone on and goes on with Liz and Patty.

But what really made him realise that he does actually like.... /like/ like you was when the two of you resonated souls.

It was weird, being able to hear each other's unfiltered thoughts.

He learned about a lot of weird things that go on inside your head after that- but that's besides the point.

Point being, with how easily the two of you resonated souls without having ever practised before was kind of the last nudge he needed before he decided to stop running from and denying his genuine feelings for you.

He didn't really change much after that, after all you don't exactly become a new person immediately after he acknowledged his feelings, but he did seem a lot happier once he came to terms with it; lot less tense at least.

He seemed a lot less hesitant when asking you out for a spot of tea and was /a lot/ less hesitant when touching you. Of course he still isn't /huge/ on PDA outside of hand holding, but he doesn't feel the need to slather his hands in hand sanitizer after holding yours and doesn't ask you where you've been before hugging you.

That and he doesn't do the awkward side hug anymore, he iniates actual hugs now. Not often, like I said he isn't much into PDA and probably- no, /definitely/ doesn't like his clothes wrinkled but.... maybe he doesn't mind so much when it's you.

After all, he /does/ love you.

And you fold the toilet paper for him.

[vikingknight90]

My headcanon for Gwen when she and Miles become a couple is that Gwen is just gonna be so Gosh. Darn. Happy! Like, she runs to and throws herself at Miles when he comes to visit her-happy! She can't stop smiling while hugging him and Miles ends up teasing her about how "clingy" she is (which he of course doesn't mind at all). Like this girl thought about him for over a year and is then told she can't be with him because he's an Anomaly and also because "canon" says she'll literally die if she dates him so she has to tuck her feelings far away, and even with this she still couldn't stop herself from risking her entire mission and position at the Society just to spend an afternoon with him, like whoo boy you better believe that when everything is resolved at the end of Beyond and she learns she can actually be with him, Gwen is gonna be In Love with capital letters and want to be with Miles as much as possible (which is of course where we hope it will be the kind of ending that allows them to be🙏).

I mean... give us that fluff of Gwen barely containing her joy when she sees Miles and tackle-hugs him and is of course still a dork so she gets embarrassed too and tries to dial her excitement down and usually Miles isn't much better and they sometimes behave like that teenage couple that makes other characters groan and go "do you have to make out all the time??" (in their case, when they have free time away from Spider work, rofl). Bottom line is Gwen is gonna be so happy that she can finally be with Miles that he himself isn't ready for how down bad she's gonna be and you can't change my mind on that (while he'll of course be up to meet her challenge 😘)

[kobb4ni2]

Don't mind me just having more Sea Serpent Brainrot~

Since it's most likely that King barely has an knowledge of his culture I can see him wanting to give or make a gift for reader has apprentication for telling him of his culture. So one day when reader goes to Wano again to visit them again King hands her his gift in private unaware that the gift he gave her in his culture means he wants to marry her.

Word somehow got out that King proposed to reader and King (being the little shit he is) doesn't bother to clarify the mistake until reader next visit

[ GENDER NEUTRAL READER ]

KING MENTION KING MEMTIONED PLEASE I NEED MORE KING, ODA PLS MAKE HIM COME BACK OILED UP PLEASE!!!

I DID SOME RESEARCH ON AFRICAN WAY OF COURTINGS BECAUSE I HEARCANON KING HEAVLY AS SOMALI AND I TOOK SOME INSPO BY THIS POST!! SO IF I DID ANYTHING WRONG PLEASE DON'T HESISTATE TO CALL ME OUT ON IT!!

The blooming sakura trees, the lake streams making splashing sounds against the shore, the stream going upwards to Wano, the many gorgeous Geisha and Oirans who walks at the capital of Wano that maketh a man eyes follow where their heavy kimonos go yet nothing can pry away King's gaze from your enchanting beauty, he knows that you're an ancient sea serpent yet the way you capture his heart by your words and acts made you feel like a siren to to him, alluring and tempting, you've made many people feel this way, and he knew that yet whenever he did there's this different kind of fire in his heart, a kind of fire full of hatred and possession.

He is the only one that can feel this way, he's the only one to hold you hands or the way you hold him as he resister every atom in his body not to paint your lips purple of how much he ravish your lips, he wants to be near you all time to see beside you or be under you. . . That's why the the box that was beside King was a symbol for his devotion for you. . .

"Here."

King said as he passed you a black velvety box that is caressed with a gorgeous lace that is certainly based off the culture of the Lunarians.

"A gift? Why so?"

You said as you carefully picking up throughout box that King put in the middle, of the table, when you were done observing it you gently put it back to it place.

"Just open it."

You started at the unmask beast pirate with amusement as you slowly started to unravel the ribbon that King carefully knotted to perfection just for you but of course you didn't know that.

When you open the box, you were greeted by a gorgeous no-a rather breathtaking kimono that fits perfectly with your color scheme and oceanic aesthetic and in pair was a beaded necklace that has many Lunarian symbols, you can see by the craftsman ship that who ever made this was doing their best to make it perfect as possible.

"This..this is amazing! Are you really giving this to me Alber?!"

You said with enthusiasm, you may be an ancient being that already saw many things, but you always try your best not to squeal like a squeezed monkey whenever you receive any kind of gift by anyone.

Your smile, that darn smile.

The smile that drive can drive anyone wild, the laugh that bubbles up in your sweet smile, your large sharp teeth or fangs that he desperately wants on his neck, or both you lips and fangs slowly go up on his neck as you holds your neck because of such height difference as you whisper sweet nothings on his ear while you call him by his name-Alber.

"I-I don't know what to say! What do you want from return Alber?!"

"Nothing much, let me just cut a piece of your hair."

Odd request it is but who are you to judge, a small peice of your hair wouldn't hurt, plus if you ask yourself it was an uneven request. King knew that you would agree, you were the kind of person to hardly say 'no' but will say so if in desperation

"WORORORORORO! So that's were the rumors were based off huh?"

The leader of the Beast Pirate-Kaido said as he chugged down another bottle of alcohol as usual especially when it's a day of celebrating. What celebrations you might have ask? We'll a celebration because a rumour had spread around the Beast Pirates, or even outside of Wano that you were now engaged.

Many subordinates of his even asked if the rumors were even true he hasn't decline or clarify it, so the rumors spread like wildfire (like his name tehehe) and now here he was in Kaido's private chamber where he was summond by him.

"Yes Kaido-san that's how I managed to have their hand." King said as he gently held the braided hair that was now called a "loveknot" because now inside of it is a strand of your hair, a unknown declaration that both of you are now fiancé's but you don't know that yet.

"That fun and all but how did you even manage to know that information, [Name] surely have known that information." Kaido then wiped the alcohol droll of the corner of his lips and stared at his right hand man.

"It's a long story but based on some stories they gave me, I manage to track down some old libraries that has some old information such as the one that I did." King said as he smirked under his mask "And one section of a book explain Lunarians way of courting, which is incredibly rare to even find, that's the reason why they didn't know that I basically engaged them to me (Name) didn't have the prior knowledge of it."

"WORORORORORO such a devious act you did King, you might as well confront them because I can see my boy Yamato going heart eyes whenever they visit him, I've even heard Yamato declare his love to that darn sea serpent."

Kaido again picked up another bottle from his mountain pile of it and gave some to King.

"For you and your future spouse WORORORO!!"

Kaido said as he raised his cup awaiting for King raise his.

King is not the person to be tempted over such silly things but King finally managed to make you “his” without you not even knowing it, and as a celebration, he does deserve a raise of glass with Kaido with such achievement, he can't wait to shove the marriage to other pirates, marine or anyone that even shows a slight intrest on you, in their face, especially to that scarfed Big Mom Sweet General.

"Yes Kaido-San a pure cheer for me and them."

King now raising his cup and with that made a clank with Kaidos drink.

Such simple accessories that you didn't know that you were already being wed to him, but he doesn't care, he never cares for the people or creatures he has to kill on your name, his swords tip always coated in blood just for you, even if he didn't know the way his people court others he will show you the blood stain swords he has and show you the mountain of people he had killed in your name as he knelt down to kiss your hand.

This is King's devotion to you.

Before King could even drink his sake, both him and Kaido was alarmed by the loud swipe of the shoji door and they were both greeted by your presence in a hectic state.

"King!...why are there people saying that we are engaged?!"

If you ask me what is your theme song for your King x Sea Serpent! Reader :33!!

[anza-redstar]

Previously from the P.G. Wodehouse archives, there was comedy about Sherlock Holmes returning and comedy about characters from classic literature talking like Americans. I am now more delighted than I can say to bring you comedy about Sherlock Holmes returning and talking like an American:

THE PRODIGAL. Punch, September 23, 1903 [It is rumoured that Sherlock Holmes, when he reappears, will figure in a series of stories of American origin.] I met him in the Strand. It was really the most extraordinary likeness. Had I not known that he lay at the bottom of a dem’d moist unpleasant waterfall, I should have said that it was Sherlock Holmes himself who stood before me. I had almost made up my mind to speak to him, when he spoke to me. “Pardon me, stranger,” he said, “can you tell where I get a car for Victoria?” I told him. “Do you know,” I said, “You are astonishingly like an old friend of mine. A Mr. Sherlock Holmes.” “My name,” he said coolly. I staggered back, nearly upsetting a policeman. Then I seized him by the arm, dragged him into an A.B.C. shop, and sat him down at a table. “You are Sherlock Holmes!” I cried. “Correct. Sherlock P. Holmes of Neh Yark City, U.S.A. That’s me every time, I guess.” “Holmes!” I clutched him fervently to my bosom. “Don’t you remember me? You must remember me.” “Name of——?” he queried. “Watson. Dr. Watson.” “Wal, darn my skin if I didn’t surmise I’d seen you before somewhere. Watson! Crimes, so it is. Oh, this is slick. Yes, Sir. This is my shout. Liquor up at my ex-pense, if you please. What’s your poison?” I said I would have a small milk. “Why, the last I saw of you, Holmes——” I began. “Guess you didn’t see the last of me, sirree.” “But you did fall down the waterfall?” “Why, yes.” “Then how did you escape?” “Why, I fell over with Moriarty. The cuss was weightier than me some, so he fell underneath. If two humans fall over a precipice, I calkilate it’s the one with the most avoir-du-pois that falls underneath. Conse-quently I was only con-siderable shaken, while Moriarty handed in his checks.” “Then you weren’t killed?” “My dear Watson, how——? No. Guess I sur-vived. But, say, how are all the old folks at home? How’s Sir Henry Baskerville?” “Very well. He has introduced base-ball into the West Country.” “And the hound? Ah, but I remember, we shot him.” “No. He wasn’t really dead. He recovered, turned over a new leaf, and is now doing capitally out Battersea way.” Just then a look of anxiety passed over my friend’s face. I asked the reason. “It’s like this,” he said; “I’ve been in the U-nited States so long now, tracking down the toughs there, that I reckon I’ve ac-quired the Amurrican accent some. Say, do you think the public will object?” “Holmes,” I said, “it wouldn’t matter if you talked Czech or Chinese. You’ve come back. That’s all we care about.” “It’s a perfect cinch,” said Holmes, with a happy smile.

[brynn-lear]

Case File: Missing Person Investigation

Victim:  (Y/n) (L/n)  

Date reported missing: 04/20/2024  

Reported by: Jelena "Topaz" ███████, close friend.  

Circumstances: Suddenly went missing before reaching the airport, hasn't left the country. Missing for more than 72 hours when authorities were notified.

Possible Motive/s:  

- Unknown.

Victim's Background:  

- An overseas immigrant worker from ██████, registered Penacony citizen for 3 years.  

- Full fledged human, no remarkable hybrid bloodline.  

- Moved near Clockie Memorial, Penacony City to start the Dreamjolt Cafe. The cafe is heavily supported and funded by retired famous actress, Siobhan.

Possible Suspects:

1. Gallagher  

   - Description: Victim's flatmate, canine hybrid, possibly a former bloodhound detective.  

   - Relationship: Lives in the same apartment with the victim. Home is located besides the cafe.  

   - Circumstances: Unlikely to leave shared home to kidnap or attack (Y/n) due to surveillance footage.  

   - Suspicions: Suspicions were raised by Jelena but her accounts are shaky and not conclusive.

2. Sunday  

   - Description: Penacony senator.  

   - Relationship: Alleged arguments with the victim regarding cafe spot.  

   - Motive: Possibly interested in victim's cafe spot for the capital's town hall extension.  

   - Denial: Claims cordial and friendly relationship with (Y/n).

Relevant Information from Witness: Ms. Robin:  

- Sunday's Visits: Contradictory statements regarding visits to the cafe near closing time. Sunday often happily remarks prior to (Y/n)’s disappearance that he fondly enjoys listening to them talk. Close friends and regulars corroborate the opposite as he had “never visited the cafe at night.”

- Gallagher's Popularity: Adored by customers, the victim often jokes about him replacing them as owner/barista when they retire. Gallagher declines all their proposals. 

- Relationship Status via Prof. Ratio: Victim is “not dating anyone, not looking to date”. Prof. Ratio was very adamant that they were not lovers with Gallagher or Sunday.

- Sunday's Opinion On The Victim: [Audio file attached]

“I'm not sure why you're suspecting me, Robin. Even though (Y/n) thinks little of me, I enjoy their company very much. I have never met someone who has passionately disliked me as much as they do. I wouldn't want to start missing that voice.”

- Family Bond via Kakavasha: Victim has strong bond with family, unlikely to elope. As the family's “breadwinner”, there is pressure for them to send financial assistance.

- Digital Disappearance: All of the victim’s accounts are offline, unreachable by phone.  The Cyber Investigations Division has yet to find their cell's last known location. Investigator “SW” is assigned to this case.

- Rumors of human trafficking: Word is spreading that there has been a series of other missing people in the area. Some claim a mafia is involved.

- Rumors of rigged election: Mr. McCoy has been implicated in the ████ elections for his role of (allegedly) manipulating the vote count in Penacony City to favor Senator Sunday.

My personal notes:  

04/20/2024: The investigation is ongoing with focus on Gallagher and Sunday as potential suspects. Further inquiries and evidence collection required to determine the whereabouts of (Y/n) (L/n).

They removed me from the fudging case and now I can't do any flipping poop about it. Hecking suspicious that they're so tight-lipped  about some cafe owner's disappearance. Ain't no way something political ain't involved here. They won't let just anyone in. They even have the audacity to get Agents Kafka and Yingxing to look for em. Robin thinks Sunday has something to do with it and now the little bird thinks about partnering up with me. I can't shake her off. Annoying, but I don't want to just do paperwork. Gotta do some legwork for fun.

04/21/24: Gallagher looks like he's genuinely confused by what's happenin. But as an ex-cop (?), he's doing a darn commendable Watchmaker Award worthy job of hiding it. Ya'd think he'd be very aggressive, but the old dog's warming up. Slightly. Dunno. He's being kind of a son of a nice lady about this and I have a stinkin' feeling he's going to try and investigate this matter on his own.

04/21/24: Robin isn't feeling well. I wonder why?

Chapters

1) The First Meeting

[capitalism-and-analytics]

Cause you know darn that Capitalism and their...

*checks notes*

VARIETY OF FAST FOOD CHICKEN SANDWICHES