#(even tho i like some of them but even terrible people can have good ideas)

[ssilentcharlie]

my thoughts on episode 18 as a whole, because i have SO MANY thoughts.

(btw none of this will be coherent because it's 08:30 in the morning and i'm a little pissed off)

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

the emergency:

10/10. that was SO fucking good. Athena finding Bobby made me tear up because that's what i wanted to happen. having the heart of a champion kid (well, adult now) help save Bobby was amazing. Maddie being all the call and being a massive help despite practically her entire family being the 118, Buck taking charge. it was just all around a good emergency.

the characters storylines i need a moment for because... hmm

Henren:

fucking adore it. the fostering thing is going well, Denny seems happy, both Hen and Karen are also happy with the little people running around their house. AND A BABY GIRL, you don't understand how happy i am for them. their storyline is just incredibly wholesome and i have no bad things to say about it.

Madney:

they're so excited to get married, i love them so much. a wedding at home is the cutest idea, i love it soo much. i have nothing bad to say about my beloveds this episode or season, they had a really good season.

Buck and Eddie, apparently a part for the first time in all of 6b:

Buck helping deliver the baby and get Connor and Kameron back was something i actually liked and wanted so that was good. Natalia being there wasn't but i guess she helped so thanks babes.

Christopher telling Eddie to ask out Marisol... bullshit. i call fucking bullshit. not for Buddie either, for Eddie. does Christopher not remember the last time his Dad tried to date a woman? because i highly doubt that's something you can forget (btw i like Marisol, she seems really sweet, but i want her to end up being what Stevie was to David in Schitts Creek, if that makes any sense)

Buck and Natalia... nope. just nope. again, not even for Buddie, FOR BUCK. he deserves better than someone who only took interest in him because he died. literally give him someone who loves Buck for Buck and will always love Buck for Buck.

also the couch theory, and the Buckley-Diaz family being a focal point this season... you just threw that away... i'm not even going to get angry about that right now because i want to collect coherent thoughts about it.

it felt lazy AGAIN and Buck and Eddie don't deserve that. once again, they don't deserve it SEPARATELY.

ending with my Mum and Dad, Bathena:

LOVED IT. Athena saving Bobby, being there for him, it made me cry.

THEY GOT THEIR HONEYMOON! FINALLY! Mum and Dad deserve the break (i am terrified that's how they'll start s7 but that's s7's problem)

overall it was a solid episode, as always. not one of my favourites but definitely one of my favourite season finale big rescues (nothing is topping the shooting at this point)

[kikitakite]

I saw your callout in the Gale tag for that one user (no comment on them, tho ty for the callout bc i'd seen them in the notes of my fics) and was curious if you could elaborate on some of the Mystra incidents you described towards the end of the post? I'm new to the lore of the setting and find it hard to research (which makes sense given its importance to dnd), so I've heard a lot of conflicting things about Mystra's portrayal in the wider series. No pressure, obviously!

No problem! And yea, I've seen her arguing in the posts of a few people I follow or just Gale-related posts I find interesting. Usually I don't get involved in stuff like this, but I noticed a constant pattern and then all the homophobic shit so I went off a little.

Unfortunately it's hard to find exact examples of the Mystra lore because certain modules aren't very popular or even free to access, but if you're interested the best way to learn about her is by reading the Elminster novels. There's twelve total, dating all the way back to 1994, and they detail Elminster's adventures. I'll be honest though, some of them are a hard read and written through the lens of a man who's admitted very creative, but also has a lot of problematic ideas.

In the first book Elminster is a child. His entire town gets wiped out by mages, thereby making him hostile toward magic. He sneaks into Mystra's temple to deface her statue one night, but she appears before him and basically gaslights him into learning magic and becoming her rare Chosen. He becomes a wizard and cleric basically overnight, until eventually he multiclasses into pretty much every class type in DnD. As you can imagine a lot of players aren't too fond of Elminster, as he's a well known self-insert of the author and pretty annoying to run into during campaigns. None of my dungeon masters like him anyway.

He also becomes one of Mystra's most loyal followers, but she fucks with him over and over, turning him into a woman to teach him a lesson and SLEEPING with him in that form, berating him when he struggles with the torture he endures when he gets stuck in the hells, making him reproduce without his knowledge and getting jealous when he gives his partners more attention. Because she's a very jealous goddess, which I think the game vaguely touches on but not really.

I wish I had the time to flip through all the novels and give exact citations but the best I can do is suggest them, because they're so eye opening. She's considered a neutral good goddess, but neutral gods often do terrible things for the sake of their domain. I think it needs to be noted that Mystra, as with all gods in the pantheon, only cares about her portfolio. She isn't wrong for that, but it doesn't mean she's blameless when she messes with people's lives. She's done a lot of good but she's also made horrible decisions, especially where her followers are concerned.

For example, Elminster having children he doesn't know about. He has a daughter named Narnra. Her conception was... pretty fucked up. Basically a song dragon named Ammaratha Cyndusk was an occasional lover of Elminster's (he has a lot of those because of course he does) and she wanted to bear his child, but since he's a Chosen of Mystra he can control his fertility. Magic birth control, basically. He didn't want a kid so Ammaratha went behind his back to learn a counterspell that would make him fertile during sex. The man she asked refused to teach her because...duh that's messed up, but then Mystra intervened and told him to teach her the spell because she wanted Elminster's "seed to spread". Ammaratha never told him and neither did Mystra. No matter what the reasons, that was NOT consensual on Elminster's part, and it happened two more times, resulting in two more daughters with different women. If I remember correctly Elminster did eventually find out waaaaay later when they were all adults, but it never amounted to anything.

The sisters I was taking about are the Seven Sisters, Mystra's "daughters". And I put "daughters" in quotations because Mystra possessed the body of a woman named Elué and impregnated her without her consent. She slept with the woman's husband (again, while possessing her body) and made them sire seven children. This of course lead to Elué's death because the constant flow of magic in her body was too much for her to handle. Her grieving husband broke after she died and eventually left, abandoning his daughters and earning Mystra's scorn...as if he was in the wrong. The sisters were then orphaned and raised by foster families.

That said, most of the awful things anyone can say about Mystra were the doings of her previous incarnations so ultimately it doesn't apply to the Mystra of BG3. In fact, this third Mystra is supposed to be a new and improved goddess who's nicer to her followers. So her portrayal in BG3 annoyed a lot of DnD fans. I should also point out that Mystra has two types of fans: ones who will defend everything she does, even when it's fucked up beyond all comprehension, and the ones who will tell you she's a true neutral goddess capable of good and bad. I'm the latter. There are plenty examples of Mystra sticking her neck out for innocents, but there's also examples of her doing the most horrendous shit imaginable.

A lot of veteran players, at least the ones I know, are upset with the portrayal of Mystra in BG3 because her plan to end the Absolute is, quite frankly, stupid. Your party is the best chance anyone has of ending the threat, but she asks Gale to nuke himself and possibly tens of thousands, which makes no sense because she could've just sent her mages/clerics to deal with the problem. And there was no guarantee the bomb would've worked anyway. She put all the responsibility on one man and it DEFINITELY comes off as vindictive. That isn't out if character for her but she's not SUPPOSED to be that bad anymore. For a lot of DnD players it felt like she was reverting back to her old habits.

I think there's also a part in the game where you can directly ask Gale why she doesn't just blip the Absolute out of existence and he says something like, "She could but Ao won't allow it." That was also really strange for a lot of veteran players to hear because Gale drops Ao's name like it's nothing. Most people (especially if they're new to the franchise) wouldn't know this but most people in Faerûn don't know who Ao is! Because he wiped people's memories of his existence! I suppose it does make sense for Gale to know that name, since Mystra probably explained the pantheon to him, but it's VERY unlikely tav would know it. So during that conversation all I could picture was tav tilting their head like, "Huh? Who? Whaaa?"

And on top of that......Ao absolutely WOULD allow it because the Absolute effects the Weave and every other god! It had the potential to ruin the balance of the universe, which makes Ao a very angry boy. Balance is one of the ONLY things he cares about. The Dead Three were stealing souls and worshippers, which gods needs to survive, and dying gods disrupts the balance. It's a whole circle of chaos. So the only conclusion left for me to extrapolate is this: Mystra just really, really wanted Gale to kill himself to prove his devotion to her. Which...isn't great. Bad look for her.

It's kind of like how Raphael thinks the Crown of Karsus is going to help him end the Blood War and take over the hells. DnD players laughed during his epilogue because...no it won't lol. He doesn't stand a chance even with the crown. He's arrogant and he's gonna get slapped by his daddy and all the other archdevils, the same way Gale gets slapped by Mystra if he ascends. Even the Absolute ending of the game wouldn't last long because the gods would go to war with the Dead Three, wipe them out and rebuild Faerûn, which has happened many times in past DnD campaigns. Mystra alone has torn worlds apart and glued them back together. The main crisis of BG3 is saving the world you live in or everybody dies. For the gods it's just a Tuesday. I mean look at how Withers owns the Dead Three with a wave of his hand at the end of the game. Mystra COULD'VE killed the Absolute, just as she could've removed the orb from Gale's chest the moment it happened. She just didn't WANT to. She wanted him to die. She wanted him to chastise himself. She wanted him to suffer and come crawling back to her as an obedient follower. She wanted him to learn a harsh and honestly unfair lesson, which is a terrible throwback to her previous incarnations.

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Mosaic

kaeya/gn!reader

genre: hurt/comfort, teensy angst, fluff

warning(s)!!!: hydro-vision/polearm-user reader (bc i said so), kaeya word vomits all over the place, kaeya also becomes self-aware of feelings and Dislikes that, kaeya also makes some poor choices in leu of those feelings, all is well in the end tho! he learns (and cries) (tayls is pushing the pathetic crybaby kaeya agenda and cannot be stopped)

w.count: 8.7k

synopsis: kaeya is none the wiser to the people around him and what it is they think about him- he didn't get his title of 'top candidate for grandson in law' for nothing. however, he never thought he'd get so swept up in his own feelings that when he does, he decides he has to put a stop to them no matter the cost. but can he really follow through with that?

a/n: i love when tumblr nerfs my banner quality but it's whatever. have some kaeya nonsense (fr take this away from me)

“A mosaic.” 

That was your answer to a question Paimon and the Traveler asks while you were meandering around the Favonius Library looking for a book you needed for some personal research. They had run into you there and a conversation about what some citizens of the City of Freedom embody had sprung up somehow. For example, Paimon was very set on saying that Master Diluc was a rock- set in his ways and tough to budge- and so on from there.  The ideas and objects tossed around were anywhere between insightful and downright silly. 

So, it was inevitable that eventually the trio would cycle around to the Knights. Jean was dubbed a Dandelion according to the Traveler and Lisa was crowned as an elegant bookmark that was so sharp it would cause terrible papercuts. Of course, Lisa’s object was picked ever so gracefully by Paimon even if it didn’t make much sense she was set on her answer, and nothing would change her mind. Then, when the personification of one Kaeya Alberich came around, admittingly the two Outlanders were stumped.  

Kaeya would always peruse around with such an air of mystery. Keeping important aspects of himself tucked so far away that very few people knew of his secrets- and they were tight lipped for their own reasons.  His smooth tongue aided him greatly whenever someone would ask about himself personally- spinning tales and weaving verses that got him out of any sort of personal interrogation. 

The trio knew if they asked Diluc, he’d give a short and possibly crude answer.  Jean would probably give him some illusion of not being sorted into such games and Lisa would just think you three were adorable and not give her two cents at all. You, however, thought on it for a bit longer and finally had an answer. 

“A mosaic?” Paimon mimicked, making sure her voice was kept down in the sanctuary of books. “Like the artwork?” 

“He is good looking,” Traveler pitched and it was true. Even people with aged or poor working eyes could see Kaeya was far from being an ugly man. 

“I don't see how him being a little ‘good looking’ is deserving of the title of being a piece art!” You chuckle at Paimon’s small fit of confusion. 

“Well, ignoring his looks, a mosaic is a piece of work that is made of small pieces right? It isn’t whole until it’s all put together. Just like a puzzle.” 

“So, he’s a glorified puzzle?” 

“That isn’t what I meant,” you shake your head in a small chuckle. You take a small trip to another corner of the library and run your fingers along the spines of different books before you grab one and easily slide it out of its spot on the shelf.

It’s a book on different types of art. Flipping the pages you find a page with a drawn on copy of a mosaic from another country. You lay it down on a nearby table and tap the drawing with your fingertip. 

“What I meant was the process of becoming a mosaic- how it’s created.” you trace the empty spaces of white on the page where the piece of the drawn on piece were supposed to connect to create a bigger piece. “Various pieces of work all put together to make one big picture. A series of events leading to a grand conclusion of hardwork and patience. Maybe it took a lot of time and work. Sometimes creating such a piece was so frustrating at times you wanted to give up, or maybe sometimes nothing looked right. But, by the end of it all- it couldn’t be anything but a wonderful representation of all those struggles.” 

Paimon floated in awe at your explanation and the Travelers playfully placed their hands on their hips as they looked at you. 

“You sure think highly of Kaeya, don’t you?” 

“It’s that noticeable, huh?” You chuckle a tad embarrassed. Your long-standing puppy-crush on Kaeya you’ve had since you met him wasn’t always the best hidden secret. In fact, you were almost positive that the Cavalry Captain himself knew you had a thing for him, but you were happy he never cornered you about it. 

“You’re a love-struck citizen alright,” Paimon rushed to the Traveler’s side in making slight jests at you. You shut the book you had used to try and explain your choice of object and rubbed the back of your neck as you ignore the warmth in your face. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” You turn on your heel and walk back to the shelf to replace the book. Paimon had cupped a small hand around her chin before she was floating over to your side and asking you another question. 

“So, if Kaeya is a mosaic, then who’s his artist?” You look at her and blink a few times, processing what she was asking. You didn’t expect a question like that.  You cup your own chin in thought and after a moment, you laugh at being caught off guard.  

“I hadn’t thought of that.  I guess maybe Mondstadt itself? It is where all his friends and family are after all. Oh, and his job of course.” 

“That makes sense,” Paimon muses, seemingly satisfied with your answer. The conversation had moved from the shelves to the open space of the library and soon out the doors. As the three of you left, the topic of objects to people shifted to one of getting some food into Paimon’s ever empty stomach. 

The book you had previously replaced back on the shelf was easily slid back out by a hand adorning open finger gloves. Taking a relaxed seat at a nearby table, he flipped to the very page you had been on before and looked at the image himself with a small huff that twisted into a quirk of his lips. 

“How interesting,” he muses before reading the whole installment about that specific piece of art. After all, how could he not? 

The next morning was quick to roll around. After a hearty meal at the Good Hunter and pleasant good nights exchanged with the Traveler and Paimon, you were more than ready to head back home to rest. After a swift debrief on the commissions set aside for you today, you move out of the way and off to the side so you could flip through the four pages of individual commission information. 

A typical site clearing of hilicurls, a balloon transport, and two other sites said to be infested with abyss mages and mitacurls. Taking a deep breath and letting it out in the form of a heavy sigh, you roll your neck and shoulders. It looked to be a very physical day, considering the commissions alone were already enough, they were hardly close in range to each other.  

“My, what does this sunny morning lack that is making your shoulder’s slack so much,” the familiar voice of the ever lingering person on your mind spoke. Lowering your commissions and offering him a greeting smile, you watch as Kaeya marches his way down the stone steps of Mondstadt to you. 

“The weather has nothing to do with it, I'll have you know.” When he finally gets to your sides, he silently offers his hand out for your daily commission sheets. You hand them over and resume your small effort of stretching. His eyes quickly scan sheet after sheet before he’s clicking his teeth and shaking his head.  

“Having your run all the way to Stormbearer, to Windrise, down to Springvale and then back up to Wolvendom is just cruel.” The way his voice has that familiar lithe to it, you knew he only half meant what he said. 

“Maybe I’ll get lucky and run into the Traveler who can do me a favor by hitching me a ride on a Waypoint.” You quickly take your commissions back and fold them down twice before storing them away in your pack. Watching the sun’s orange morning hue fade into its daylight yellow was tell enough that you had to get moving or else you’d be rushing to get your work done. Kaeya walked you to the city gate and even across the bridge before you were ready to set off.  

This is practically routine. You weren’t sure when it started, but at some point, Kaeya had started meeting you at the Adventurer’s Guild after receiving your daily commissions and would insist on escorting you out of the city. He claimed it was on the way of his morning walk to stretch his legs, but you weren’t sure how much you believed him. You allowed him to do it anyway since it always set up a good start to your day. 

Getting a small amount of Kaeya’s time was something you would relish since you never wanted to impede on his busy schedule with the Knights. It was the small selfish part of you that wanted to capitalize on this so-called ‘alone’ time that lasted only a small piece of the day. 

“Be careful,” Kaeya always tell you and you always nod back to him a simple ‘I will’ before he would watch you disappear down the worn, dirt paths. Your first destination would be Stormbearer Mountain it appears. 

Most of Kaeya’s morning consisted of going over documents shoved on him courtesy of his position as one of the ten Captains within the knight’s ranks.  With sighs echoing in his private workspace every few minutes and multiple tempting ideas of sneaking out without even processing the paperwork, he finally finished and approved the last document before placing it in a file on his desk that Jean would surely come and snag from him later. 

Leaning back in his chair that would soon need the cushions replaced, he craned his neck to gaze out the tall window in his office.  The sun was much higher in the sky than it was when he had arrived earlier that morning.  His thoughts easily drifted to you and a frown found its way onto his lips. 

“Are you doing alright?” Kaeya delicately asked to the air of solitude around him.  You were more than capable to handle yourself.  In truth, if you weren’t already associated with the Guild and kept so busy by them, Jean probably would’ve scouted you for the Knights instead.  ‘Your skills are impressive, and the others could learn a lot from you’, that’s probably what Jean’s pitch would be. All true of course, sometimes the job of trying to train the lower ranking knights was more of a chore than a duty, once Kaeya would often get stuck with.

He'd be more than happy to spar with you instead any day.  

Steering his gaze away from the window and moving it towards the ceiling, he traced the wooden beams above him with his single visible eye. He sighed again- this time not because of his now finished paperwork. 

“Surely, they’d be in Windrise by now… right?” His fingers drummed against the arm of his chair before he was bringing his chin back down to lock onto his office door.  His paperwork was done, so maybe…

Two knocks rapped against the thick door and Kaeya’s posture straightened out of habit. A muffled ‘Captain?’ heard behind it.  He let his head sink as a small, defeated breath left his open mouth before correcting himself again. 

“You can come in,” he answered.  Guess his plans to sneak away were once again foiled. 

By the time Kaeya made it out of HQ it was already late into the afternoon.  Stretching after stepping foot out of the large entrance, he stepped down the short set of stone steps before making his way towards the front of the city.  You must be back now, or close to the city at the very least.  It had been almost the whole day, if you weren’t back yet he’d simply go on an unprompted adventure to ‘bump into you’. Luckily, there you were; standing in front of the Guild and talking to Katheryne once again. Although, the look of you was less than encouraging. 

While you yourself seemed more or less fine, just from the distance between the top set of steps by Good Hunter to you at the Adventurer's Guild Reception, he could tell your commissions had worn you out today. It was no wonder considering the distance between them. Your clothes had clearly been fixed prior to you reentering the city since the dirt and stains on them were a clear indicator that you had your fair share of roughing up. 

Kaeya can, and did mostly, dismiss this all, however.  It was the serious look on Katheryne’s face and the way yours didn't show relief after a hard day's work like it normally would be. He started making his way towards you and started catching bits of the conversion you both were having. 

“I deeply apologize, y/n, but it’s an Emergency Commission we just received.” The way Katheryne’s voice was coated in tension made Kaeya’s pace harden. When he had arrived at your side, his hand came up to rest on your back without his notice as he looked at the way you held your head in your hand like you were preventing an oncoming headache. 

“What’s the problem?��� Kaeya made it a point to look at you- directing the question at you and not Katheryne. Your hand dropped and you sighed with a shake of your head before looking at him. 

“It’s nothing, just a last-minute Commission.”

“What? You just got back from your commissions, didn’t you?” 

“It’s an Emergency. I can’t just brush it off.” 

“Make someone else take it then.” 

“No one else is available.” 

“y/n.” 

“Kaeya.” 

The small verbal battle you both engaged in was empty and Kaeya knew he was playing a losing game. He let out a sigh before he finally turned to look at Katheryne who must have all the patience in the world for standing by and letting you both bicker until she was needed for something. 

“What is the commission exactly?” 

“Apparently, a Ruin Guard has been spotted near Springvale after a passing Adventurer accidentally triggered its detection sensors. The nearby residents are frightened it could march into someone’s territory and wreak havoc there.” 

Kaeya pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand- the other still mindlessly resting on your back- as he sighed.  This is indeed something that couldn’t be pushed off for someone else to take. When it comes to those old machines, who knows what could happen if they aren’t swiftly deactivated. The Captain was at an impasse; letting you go after already being exhausted from running around all day or tying you to one of the Guild’s posts and keeping you there until someone else passed by that Katheryne could snag instead. 

“Fine,” Kaeya relented.  His hand finally dropped from your back and crossed with his other arm over his chest. “I shall accompany you then.” He saw you open your mouth- probably to protest- but he didn’t let you. “Ah-ah,” he tutted at you, “no arguments. Let’s get moving.” He uncrosses his arms to grab your shoulders, spin you around and lightly push you to get your legs moving. 

Luckily, Kaeya’s vision was extra compatible with your own. While your fight styles were different, the fact you had a hydro vision was very much a blessing. It was quiet easy work taking down a Ruin Guard that had been drenched in water then subsequently frozen. After picking up a few dropped items from the timeless machine, Kaeya had stood up and placed his hands on his hips as if proud of himself. 

“Aren’t you happy I decided to tag along now? We made quick work of that Ruin Guard.” 

You can only roll your eyes at the smoothtalker.  Still, you quietly laugh at his antics all the same. Finally calling it a day in the middle of the field you had previously battled in with him, you lay down on the grass.  You were already covered in sweat, dirt and other stains from your earlier commissions, so getting a little more on your clothes wasn’t a concern. You shut your eyes and took in the breeze you silently thanked Lord Barbatos for as you took in a deep breath, letting yourself decompress. 

Kaeya stood over you, moving so his boots were on either side of your head and he was looking down at your relaxing face.  With your eyes closed, you didn’t get to see the smile that was only ever present when you weren’t looking.  The moment your eyes would open, you would only see his normal everyday grin. And open your eye did and oh how lovely they were. The evening glow did wonders for their color. 

Evening. Yes, it is getting rather late now. 

“Are you ready to head back now?” He asked and you nod. Sitting up, Kaeya offers to carry you back to the city on his back- which you decline. That didn’t stop the fact that you reentered Mondstadt securely resting on Kaeya’s back as he held you up with a slight bend to his posture and firm grip on your legs. 

This routine would continue for as long as Kaeya’s luck would allow.  He’d be the first to see you in the mornings before being the one to walk you out of the city and if he was lucky, he’d be the first to greet you back (not including Katheryn). 

If Kaeya was lucky he would greet you back into the city and spend more time at your side.  Reporting in with you to the Guild. Running a few errands like stopping by to purchase things from Blanche or getting your polearm enhanced or repaired at the smith. 

If Kaeya was lucky, he would persuade you into getting dinner with him or dropping by the Cat’s Tail for some casual TCG matches when he was off duty. 

If Kaeya was lucky, the conversation between you both would be flowing well enough that even if there was nothing left to do, he’d be privileged enough to walk you home or come inside to continue occupying your time until you fall asleep or push him out the door saying that he had to get up for work in the morning. 

Today was not Kaeya’s lucky day.  When he got up this morning, his routine to finding you was practically ingrained in his muscles and when he didn’t see you at the stone steps, city gates or the Guild’s reception, confusion crossed his brows.  He casually took a seat on one of the nearby outside stools by the Cat’s Tail and waited until the time to clock in at HQ was growing closer.  With hesitation, he got up and looked around for you once more just to see if maybe he could at least catch a glimpse of you rushing around to get a (rather late) start to the day. 

He was antsy all day and he was astonished to find out that throwing a wrench in his morning threw off his day so much. Kaeya knew that seeing you first thing in the morning was quite a lovely way to start his day, but he didn’t know the extent in which it could affect the rest of it.  Not exchanging a good morning with you or even saying his usual ‘be safe’ message at the edge of Mondstadt nagged at him.  

Currently, he was sitting in a remote corner of the Favonious library, legs crossed as his rear was sat towards the front of the seat to make up for the fact his back was bent over the back of it.  He rests a flimsy, paperback book over his face, the pages scent of old paper and ink invaded his nose and the feeling of them rubbed against his cheeks. One of his hands held it open with his thumb and pinky and the other arm was hanging uselessly at his side, his wrist bouncing against his vision from time to time just for something to interact with. 

Underneath the book, his eye was closed.  He had tried reading the passages in this particular book at least four times now, but the words just weren’t registering in his mind, so he had given up. He was left listless; certain he could easily fall asleep in this very position at any given time. Of course, it wasn’t often that Captain Kaeya would get much quiet time to himself anyways. 

“Uh, what are you doing?” The voice of Paimon made Kaeya’s eye open under the book before he was pulling it down his face enough to only reveal that one eye.  Seeing Paimon floating at the Traveler’s side made him slip the book off his face completely and shut it before setting it on the table in front of him. His posture was corrected as he sat up straighter and rolled his neck. 

“Couldn't you tell? I was reading.” 

“Paimon think’s you were slacking off.” 

“Is that what it looked like?” He jokes as he pushes his chair back and stands up properly before placing one of his hands on his hips. “I would never be caught slacking off, you wound me.” 

“We’ve heard that before,” Paimon sighs with a shake of her head.  In the moment, Kaeya is reminded of the conversation he overheard before between you and the other two. The same time of day, the same location, the same two participants of that conversation. 

“Say,” he says to gain both of their attention, “what do you think it is?” Kaeya’s exceptionally broad and unprecedented question left the two Outlanders confused. The way the Captain could almost see materialized question marks float around their heads was comical before he elaborated. “I’m asking about my artist, of course. Surely you must have your own idea, no?” 

Both Traveler and Paimon’s mouth opened in shock.  

“You were listening?!” Paimon shrieks before she is shushed by other people in the library for her volume. 

“It’s rude to eavesdrop, Kaeya,” Traveler tells him as they cross their arms over their chest.  Kaeya fakes a gasp before shaking his head and shrugging with his arms up. 

“Eavesdropping? Why, I’d never.” He dropped his arms back to his sides. “I was simply in the area and didn’t want to interrupt such a compelling conversation topic. That would’ve been quite rude of me, wouldn’t you agree?” The looks he received were easily brushed off. “Anyway, you didn’t answer my question.” 

“Well,” Paimon started, “didn’t y/n say it would be Mondstadt?” 

“And? Do you agree with them?” 

“Paimon doesn’t see a reason why not,” she shrugs in the air. 

“I see,” Kaeya’s arm crosses over his chest before he’s resting his opposite elbow on it to cup his chin. His gaze shifts downward before he's blinking slowly, meaningfully. “I suppose I could give you half marks.” 

“Half marks?!” Paimon whispers. 

“What about ‘the people of Mondstadt?’” The Traveler interjects.  Kaeya’s eye shoots back to them and his hand drops from his chin to resume a casual stance. 

“That assumption is largely correct as well.” The smile he gives the two gives nothing away. It wasn’t clear if he was sincere about what he said or if he was just saying it to hear himself talk. “A mosaic is usually a large piece, yes? It would make sense for there to be multiple people taking part in such a project at some point I suppose.” 

“You suppose? You’re just running us in circles here!” 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Kaeya deflects with a lighthearted tone and short laugh. 

“Fine! We get it!” Paimon huffs before the conversation devolves into little to nothing until he is parting ways with the two, leaving the library and ready to end the day that seemed to have lasted longer than usual. Despite having a rather lax day, he felt lethargic. 

Yet, despite his lethargy, when he finally made it out of his day clothes and into his bed, all he could do was lay on top of his covers and stare at the ceiling. His eyepatch had been removed- just as always when he was in the confines of his home- and his long bangs covered the eye that was always so accustomed to the darkness.  One of his legs was propped up on the mattress with the other stretched out and his arms were folded behind his head. 

His mind was curious about a number of things all the time- so his racing thoughts weren’t unknown to him. Still, the nagging feeling in the back of his mind didn’t let up. Was not seeing you at all really that much of a clog in his daily life? It made him feel so off-set and that alone was enough to plant a seed of anxiety in his chest. 

Kaeya sighs to himself and his ceiling before rolling to his side and letting his bangs slip across his face and reveal his always concealed eye between the blue strands. He closes his eyes and wills his mind to stop dwelling on menial things. 

Heart and mind are difficult things to cooperate with one another though. 

Kaeya Alberich couldn’t risk getting mixed up in too many personal things- it made his future even more murky and daunting than it already was.  

After that one day of missing seeing you out before your commission, Kaeya tried to do it less on purpose. Maybe that was a message from the gods themselves that he needed to take a step back. If your very presence could affect his day to day life like it had, he needed to back off for his sake and yours. And while he didn’t see you off, he still would welcome you back any chance he saw you return to the city with a raised hand he would immediately tuck away again. 

“I didn’t do anything to make you upset, did I?” Of course, you had noticed his sudden shift in nature. 

“Of course not,” he tells you as sincerely as he could. His smile was strained on his lips and his nose felt like twitching from the sheer effort it took just to pull them up. From the unamused look you gave him at his answer, he knew you knew he wasn’t being completely truthful. Still, you just looked away from him and sighed. Kaeya was grateful you didn’t push the issue because a part of him was sure if you had, he would’ve spilled his guts about things he wasn’t sure of himself just yet. 

The process of slowly taking steps away from you wasn’t pleasant for either party. Kaeya’s days had devolved into nothing but more boring paperwork and patrols he could do with his eye closed, and that would mean seeing nothing at all. The dull lag of the daytime was boring to him with nothing to do between his job and downtime he suddenly had. The Angels Share's atmosphere was a welcome comfort to his new, unpleasant routine- though, he could do without the looks from Diluc.

Meanwhile, you had felt the sting of dejection in your chest. You had come to the assumption that maybe Kaeya had finally taken action on your unspoken feelings for him and was politely telling you to take a hike. It was logical to you; a common everyday Adventurer probably couldn’t make it work out with one of the Knights’ Captains. His previous time spent with you was probably just a hindrance, a distraction from his real work, so this was good. He could focus on what was important, protecting Mondstadt. 

Though, that mental pep talk didn’t make it hurt any less. 

Just like Kaeya, you decided to bury yourself in your work. Taking commissions on top of any other field requests. Clearing hilicurl camps wasn’t something difficult and while the occasional Abyss Mage was a pain, it was all manageable. So, when your back to back jobs kept you out of the city for days at a time, that slowly became the norm for the citizens of Mondstadt. 

It was only natural for no one to notice. 

“Has it really been that long?!” Kaeya had been passing through the central square of Mondstadt when he heard the familiar shrill of Paimon. His interest took little to be piqued and he easily strut his way over. “And no one has tried looking for them yet?” Paimon and the Traveler were stuck in a conversation with Katheryne as is the norm for them nowadays when their travels bring them back to the City of Freedom. “Oohhh,” Paimon worries, “Paimon’s worried.” 

“What’s the problem,” Kaeya interjects into the conversation. All eyes shift to him, his easy strides coming to a stop when he fully joins the group with his arms crossing over his chest. “My, what’s with all the long faces?” 

“Kaeya!” Paimon screeches. “Oh, maybe you’ll know! Have you seen y/n around?” Kaeya’s chest tightens. 

“Y/n? I’m afraid we’ve both been too wrapped up in our own duties recently. Sorry to disappoint.” The slight light of hope Paimon dawned dimmed and worry once again took over her features. The tension in his chest felt tighter, like a white-hot coil was entangling itself around his insides and replacing his ribcage. “Has something happened?” He asks slowly, making quite sure his voice doesn’t crack or waver. All his hard work to distance himself from you can’t unravel now; not when you aren’t even here. 

“We aren’t sure,” Katheryne fills in.  All eyes look to her as she repeats what she had just told the duo before Kaeya arrived. “Y/n had taken a rather dangerous commission the other day. It was a job that required them to explore and investigate some ruins that had been discovered behind a wall of rocks on Stormbearer. The commission should’ve well run its course by now, but we haven’t heard back from either the client or y/n, so some of us are beginning to worry.” 

Kaeya’s fists clenched, but no one took notice of them under his cross-armed stance. He made sure to keep his face from giving himself away. 

“Have you made the issue known to the Acting Grand Master?” He questions. Katheryne shakes her head. 

“No, we haven’t. We had had planned on bringing it to her attention if y/n still doesn’t get in touch with us by this evening.” 

“We should let Jean know right now!” Paimon insists and the Traveler easily nods in agreement. “What if they’re stuck in the ruins. Or- or hurt or something!” Paimon’s worry bleeds easily into her words like a fresh wound into water. 

“The last thing we should do is panic,” Kaeya said hypocritically. His gut felt like a boiling cauldron with panic as the main ingredient. Still, his many years of being persuasive and aloof didn’t let any of that show. 

Though, the off hand look the Traveler shot him made him doubt himself; they’ve been awfully diligent when it comes to reading him ever since his wild goose chase he sent them on not long after they arrived in Mondstadt. Or maybe it was just because they had more experience than he initially thought. Still, it almost made him squirm. 

“Well, we’re going to go tell Jean!” Paimon declared, her small hands on her hips as she bobbed up and down in the air. Kaeya just shrugs indifferently, surely not making any moves to oppose them. With a small huff, Paimon and the Traveler take off towards the Knights Headquarters. When they were well out of earshot and sight, Kaeya’s cross arms drop and his gaze moves to the ever-open gate that showed the wilds outside of Mondstadt. 

“Katheryne,” he almost whispers. “You said Stormbearer?” 

Your vision was blurred when you opened your eyes from your, albeit useless, slumber. You had long since tucked yourself between a small alcove of debris and rock in the ruins you had agreed to investigate. Had you known the person who had commissioned this job was some ruin machine-obsessed loon, you wouldn’t had agreed so easily. A couple ruin guards aren’t a big deal, but adding their mechanical brethren- so to speak- on top of a nut job maintaining them the moment you have to step away to recoup, that's when things get tricky. 

Your body had long since grown exhausted from using your Vision by excessively trying not to get killed. Luckily, the mad man only had his madness going for him, so hiding from his view was easy. Staying hidden from the machine’s censors was what worried you, but you had succeeded so far. Because of that very fact, however; you were reluctant to move. Beyond your weary body, hunger and thirst were starting to eat away at you too. 

Having been in hiding with no ample moment to even try fleeing back to the city for additional aid, you had run through what little rations you had. Your gut ached with hunger pains and your throat had never felt dryer, still you weren’t backed up against the preverbal wall so much you threw all caution to the wind. 

Your polearm had remained materialized as you kept it rested against your shoulder for ease of quick use should you require it.  Your vision had never felt heavier from its placement on your person and your hands cramped from how tightly you had gripped your weapon’s staff. You let your head fall back into the rock behind you and let out a silent sigh. 

In truth, you felt more foolish than injured or exhausted. You knew this commission sounded… odd, but you took it anyway. Anything to help distract your mind from the ever cloudy presence of Kaeya- or lack thereof. 

Your small sliver of respite you found in your cove of rock and debris was beginning to quake and crumble… literally. Your eyes you hadn’t realized had dropped back down shoot open and between the crumbling dust that threatened to get into them, you could hear the engines of machines whirring above you. You scramble to get out into the open before your previously, temporary safety could crush you. Though, coming out meant that you would be more vulnerable than you’d prefer. 

The moment your gaze lands on that familiar warm glow of the back of a Ruin Guard, you throw your polearm into its core, coating the blade with water from your Vision without much thought. The guard crackled with electricity as it malfunctioned and was brought to its metallic knees. Sprinting to its back to quickly retrieve your polearm, you made sure to use your Vision to drench its legs and feet just in case it got back up again. Perhaps the moisture would cause it to comically slip and buy you just a bit more time and maybe a chuckle or two. 

It was odd though, aside from the now jagged whirring of the jittering machine in front of you- there was nothing else. No crazed man trying to jump you or sick another random machine of his on you for whatever cause. It was in fact quiet, and that quiet put you on edge. Your brain knew you needed to stay on guard, but the silence was starting to lull your body into a false sense of security you couldn’t trust. 

Still, your mind that had been in fight mode for what should have been days now, had no chance against your weary body. Your grip on your polearm slips and the weapon clatters to the ground just before your knees did and your body slumped rather pathetically afterwards. 

‘If you fall unconscious, you’ll die’,  you mentally scold yourself. Trying to bully yourself into getting back up, keeping your eyes open, keeping your guard up. Still, your mind was beginning to feel as weak as your body. Thoughts swirled together into a mess of intangible words stuck in your mind and your sight was no better.  Perhaps it was your delirium and exhaustion, but your body suddenly grew cold and you vaguely felt goosebumps raise on your skin like winter itself had bloomed in these ruins with you. Among the changes you felt externally, you swore you heard a muffled voice too. 

Perhaps it was the mad man, the one who got you suckered into this stupid job. If it was, he could make quick work of you now since the last of your fight had disappeared taking out that Ruin Ruard core. The warmth you felt on your neck and cheek was the final thing you could mentally register before your body succumbed to its burdens.

‘Odd’, was the first thing that crossed your mind when you found yourself staring blankly up at a well maintained ceiling. You were sure that if you woke up again, and not gotten yourself killed or crushed, you’d be waking up to jagged rocks and mossy walls. So, the well furnished room you now occupied threw you for a loop- which your pounding head didn’t exactly take well. 

The room you were in was familiar, and you were sure you’ve been here before, but your foggy mind couldn’t process where you were.  The bed you were tucked into was soft and comforting, and with a wince the mattress gave when you push yourself to sit up. You were alone in the room and without much thought, you shuffle your legs out from under the blankets thrown over you to place your feet onto the floor and wobble up to your legs with the help of the bedside table acting as a- albeit less than desirable- crutch. 

The door creaking open was almost mistaken by you for the sound of your sore joints straightening out, as humorous as that was to you since you let a brief, lighthearted laugh escape you in a huff. Then, with your sights on the ground, you noticed a shadow casted by light you don't remember being in the room with you before. 

You follow the shadow along the hard floor covered with a single, purple rug until your eyes found a pair of all too familiar boots.  Your aching body starts to feel anxious- a small wave of gooseflesh running across your exposed skin at the idea of Kaeya being in your proximity for the first time in a while. Still, regardless of how you hadn’t been able to squash your silly crush on him or properly prepare yourself for a possible rejection without even confessing- you were no coward. 

With both hands tense on the bedside table, you raise your head to look at the blue haired man who had removed the fur, half-cape from his shoulder.  It was strange seeing how empty his shoulder was without the extra fluff the fur provided. Still, it was nice to see him in his entirety again since it had been a while. The blacklight of the space behind him made it difficult to see his expression since the lights in the room you had woken up in had been turned off presumably for your ease of comfort. 

“It’s been a while,” was the lamest thing that’s come out of your mouth in a while.

Of course it had been, you were both actively avoiding each other and practically the whole of Mondstadt picked up on it. Looking behind his shoulder you could only barely see corners of art pieces on the walls behind him and another rug that ran down the hall behind his heels.  “Kaeya, am I at your house?” You ask, finally realizing where you recognized your surroundings from.  

You’d been in his living room plenty of times visiting, but you had hardly been back in his room unless you were the one tasked with dragging him home from Angels Share and were generous enough to lug his body weight back to his bed. It was a rare occurrence since you were normally one to just dump him on the couch with a blanket and glass of water for his possible next morning hangover. 

Kaeya never graced you with an answer before he was marching into the room. His bootsteps seem louder than usual on his hardwood floors of his enclosed room, but maybe that was just the headache. His hands shoot out to grab your shoulders and turn you towards him, your hands that had been on the wooden night table were effectively removed from its surface and now Kaeya’s grip was the only crutch you had for balance before your brain could full calibrate standing without swaying again. 

“What on Teyvat were you thinking?!” He raised his voice and even in the dimly lit room with only light from the hall flooding in, you could easily see his expressions now. His brow was turned in a frown and his eye clouded with something you couldn’t pinpoint. It was a far cry from his normally suave and dismissive behavior. “Taking an obviously suspicious commission in ruins that hadn’t been officially investigated by the Knights? Seriously, you thought that was smart?!” 

His temper only made your headache worse and in turn soured your already not-so-great mood.  Reaching up to grab his arms like a hook for support, you verbally push back. 

“I think I'm capable of handling things myself, you know? The Guild doesn’t need the Knights’ to babysit them for every little thing, and as a member of the Guild that applies to me too!” 

“Oh yes, so capable you spontaneously disappear for days? Does that sound capable to you?” 

“It does actually because I was handling things just fine by myself, not that it makes a difference to you.” 

“You collapsed next to a Ruin Guard, y/n! What would you have done if it had restarted or if something else would have happened? Magically wake up and jump into battle again, because I have my doubts about that!” 

“What is your problem, Kayea?!” 

“You! You are my problem!” 

Astonished, you scoff before rolling your eyes.  It had been so long since you hashed it out like this with anyone, let alone Kaeya. It didn’t feel good, it made you feel sick to your stomach. Not hearing any retaliations from you, Kaeya guides you by the shoulders back against the edge of the mattress and pushes you to sit down again. You didn’t let yourself release the sigh of relief that you felt now that the weight of your own limbs was lifted- you wouldn’t give the Captain that satisfaction.

You expected him to let go of you, release your shoulders and march out of the room and maybe slam the door for good measure. Or maybe pace around the room before ordering you good enough to argue, so you would be good enough to get out of his hair. Out of the possibilities, the only thing that you predicted right was him releasing your shoulders. 

Kaeya's hands left your shoulders before sliding down your arms and dropping to the mattress edge on either side of you. You were stunned when he dropped to his knees in front of you and the pressure of his forehead resting on your knee felt heavier than anything. Caging you with his arms and using his head as an anchor on your legs he had effectively trapped you. You kept your hands tucked into each other by your stomach, making sure your knuckles wouldn’t brush even a strand of his hair and you could feel the thin strap of his eyepatch leaving an intent on your skin. 

“Kaeya,” you sighed heavily, his name leaving your lips like a weight. 

“I tried,” his muffled voice sounds weak that your gaze softens at the abrupt tone change. “I did. I tried to fix it, but my problem is still you and I can’t do anything about it.” 

“I have no idea what you’re-” 

“Tell me what to do.” His words that interrupt yours cause you to furrow in confusion. 

“What?” 

“Tell me what to do,” he repeats with a strained voice. “I have so many things I need to do, choices but I- I don't want to. So, do it for me.” 

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about. What does all that even mean?” 

“Make me choose you,” he sighs heavily before the hands of his that were placed on the mattress beside you move to lightly grab at your shirt like he was scared to touch you further. As if you’d push him away, scorn him for his actions and inactions alike. “Because I will. I just- I need someone- you, you need to-” His sentences never finish as his breaths become uneven. The hands that grip your shirt tighten to ball the fabric in his fists now. “I’m sorry.” 

Never had you seen Kaeya, the ever debonair Calvary Captain who kept all his secrets stored into his chest, kneel and subsequently crumble like this to anyone- much less to you. Perhaps in the past he never talks about, Diluc had seen him so weak, but that would be where the witness list ends. You lift your hands from your lap and hover them over his hunched body that clung to you like a child; you were unsure if touching him would set him off or if he would recoil from you. Your silence only made his hands that ensnared your shirt tug on the fabric like an anchor keeping a ship from sailing away. 

One of your hands reach to his head and your fingertips breach the blue tresses of his hair. His shoulders tensed and you almost snatched your hand away. 

“Don’t,” he mumbled into your leg. You weren’t sure if he was saying not to touch him or not to pull away. So, you kept your hand half in his hair and unmoving. 

You yelp when the tugging on your shirt flew into a harsh yank. The back of your knees that had previously been resting snug against the edge of the mattress were now well away with the back of your thighs replacing their spot. Closer to sliding right off the bed than comfortably sitting on it, Kaeya’s arms moved to wind around your waist and his face found a new home in your stomach as your arms hovered in the arm like a puppet's dangling from unused strings. 

You could feel the weight of his words fall onto your legs by way of the tears leaving his eyes. You could feel it in the way his shoulders shake and the uneven breaths that warms your lap through his mouth.

“Kaeya,” you softly start, “what has gotten into you? I've never seen you act like this before.” You slowly lower your arms and place your palms on his shoulders gently so as to not startle him; you weren’t going to keep them in the air forever, they’re sore. 

“I’m from Khaenri’ah, you know?” His voice strains as he lets out a pathetic laugh that’s damp with a web forming in his throat. He feels your hands on his shoulders twitch and his grip around you tightens so you have no chance of running from him. 

“Kaeya, what-” 

“My father abandoned me here with the intention of using me as a spy. I’ve only ever told Diluc, but when I did a lot happened and he left, abandoning me too. I don’t care about Khaenri’ah- not anymore- Mondstadt is my home. It’s where my friends are, my brother- even if he will never accept that role again. I can’t leave Mondstadt behind.” 

“I’m sure Diluc doesn’t hate you, not like you think. He just- he’s set in his stubborn ways and isn’t good at communicating.” You decide to speak only on his mention of Diluc, since the new information of the land in which he supposedly hails was still processing in your mind. 

Your previous comparison of Diluc to a rock briefly comes to mind at the mention of his stubbornnes. You nearly laugh at the thought, but now is definitely not the time.

“Please, please, make me choose you. Tell me to, order it of me, I don’t care. Just- don’t make me live without my artist. I can’t risk that again; I can’t take being abandoned again.” 

“Artist? Kaeya, what are you talking about?” You felt like you didn’t understand the words coming out of his mouth. 

There was a bout of silence after your question and the air felt heavy. You know Kaeya heard you, but he was reluctant to answer. Odd, considering the word vomit he had already coughed up in the last several minutes since he came into the room. Your hands start to move and lightly rub his shoulders over onto his neck, silently trying to coax him into talking more. 

“I heard what you said to the Traveler.” You almost roll your eyes because that could be literally anything. Does he know how often you get the chance to actually run into them and Paimon? He is just trying to dodge the question and by habit you lightly swat at his head. A silent, ‘okay smartass’ to keep him going in the right direction. He almost scoffs into your lap for that one. “You called me a mosaic.” Oh. “You told the Traveler that ‘Mondstadt’ is my artist; they said the ‘People of Mondstadt’, but only I know who my artist truly is.” His arms around you twitch and you could almost feel a stitch of pain in your side from how long he's been effectively squeezing you. “My artist is you. It’s just you.” 

The room is engulfed in a silence that feels heavy, yet... somehow also relieving. So much time recently had been the both of you dancing around the issues neither of you wanted to confront and all it took was you getting yourself into potentially mortal danger for days on end for the truth to come out. Kaeya knew you were someone important, but he didn’t realize just how heavy your permanent absence would be to him. Just the thought of possibly finding you in those ruins dead made his throat burn and ache like swallowing a ball of thorns. 

“Kaeya.” 

“I’m not lying,” his voice was strained, filled with fear of being labeled someone worthy of nothing. 

“I wasn’t going to say you are,” the hand that had previously tapped his head now rested on his nest of blue hair. The gentle strokes of your palm against his scalp were soothing as he felt your breath move your stomach against his head. “I don't see why you would lie to me right now.”  There was no doubt in your mind that everything that came out of his mouth was the unadulterated truth. You’ve never seen the suave captain bleed such vulnerability before. 

You didn’t say anything else to him after that. You move your hands to his arms, unwinding yourself from them before pulling him pathetically up onto his own bed. Not even bothering to fix your position, you fall back onto the mattress with your feet hanging off the edge and he easily follows you. From the lighting provided from the hall, you notice his eyepatch string had loosened from all his face hiding and you take it upon yourself to tighten it- securing it back where it belongs. Your fingertips linger around its material for but a moment before sliding down to his cheek.

His eye is brimmed with tears that had stained his skin with tracks and swelling. He also wouldn’t make eye contact with you, and you roll your eyes endearingly at his childish whims. With you both laying sideways on the bed, feet and legs hanging and not even a blanket to cover up with, your thumb run over his skin. Kaeya is quick to reach for and latch his grip delicately onto your wrist to keep it there. 

“‘M sorry,” he mutters again, sounding much more shy than he did before now that his face was in view of your gaze. You smile at him, knowing there was a long and meaningful talk in the near future. 

“I know. Go to sleep.” 

“But I-” 

“Artists' orders,'' you chortle. He just scoffs and offers his own eye roll, but his cheek warms under your palm. His eye closes and he let out a deep breath before taking one back in and repeating. 

“Stay until I open my eyes again.” 

“I will.” 

And you did. 

[peachesancreams]

Angelic Wives

Vox, Alastor, and Husk

There is a spoiler for helluva boss is Voxs part, just a heads up

Summary: just a stream of thought on their wives, who they are and how they’d act in life and heaven

Vox

I see him running a TV program like a new up coming producer

he produced one of those musical/comedy jubilees, so people preformed or did comedy acts

meet his wife as she sang some cover of an older song, she had wanted to do her own original song but the studio vetoed it

he loved her voice and natural elegance, she thought his secretly pathetic nature was adorable

Old Hollywood IT couple vibes, but like any photos of them he’s blank or stoic looking

he just liked the contrast of his radiantly glowing wife to his darkness

she had no illusions about how terrible he was. She drank and smoked sure but she knew she had nothing on him morally

my headcanon is he got his head repeatedly smashed into a TV by someone he definitely stole the position from

I’ll say this once: She’s Only Heaven because of Him

Like she was a good person but if you’ve seen Helluva Boss you know you can like buy you’re way into heaven(donate it to good causes and the like)

Idk if they were a thing but i can see Vox taking out a life insurance policy on both him and his wife, either way when he passed she ended up loaded

didn’t want it, actually was SUPER depressed due to him passing so she kept enough to sustain herself but donated everything else

only went on TV on his death date, sang songs he loved or would’ve liked

did make only 1 album but it was very sad and it wasn’t popular when she was alive

was also murdered!! But in a mugging, her favorite pearl necklace got destroyed but she got to keep her ring(she wanted those damn pearls)

my first idea for her in heaven was to have a spotlight head akfbwjnxjdndkskd

honestly tho I think she’d be a Sand Cat, very rare but definitely not a house pet

people have mixed feelings about her being in heaven

it was cause she had a more ‘sexy starlet’ persona cause many people unconfirmed rumors

Now it’s mainly due to how she’s publicly admits to still loving her demon husband

knows they technically aren’t married “death do you part” and all, but she kept the ring dammit that’s her man

would be thrilled to know he had found a partner!!(partners of polyvees)

not the jealous type has a more “I can share as long as you have space for me in your heart” thought process

For Just Valentino

• “oh wow he found someone with the a similar moral compass! That is to say: none! Good for him.”

• think he’s very beautiful tbh

• “why are they both so damn tall…” jealous only of their height

For PolyVees

“I love the Evil Power Couple vibe….what? I can like it and know they are not good people! Logic people, come on.”

Craves velvettes designs, like heavens fashion has Christian Dior but she likes Velvettes fresh styles

would be curious about the relationship dynamics tbh like is her husband a hinge or what

Back to my HeadCannons!!

actually started her own jubilee program in heaven! Still takes a segment on Vs death day to sing him a song

It’s popular cause new souls who remember miss old MTV(I know I do) and older souls miss the performance aspect I bet

Heaven does have to check over what she’s putting on the program, it has to be clean and by heavens many rules after all

does a hosting segment on the weekends, she apparently got really popular after her death!!

People in heaven were gagged to see her being a TV host(Hell too if the Cherub commercial is anything to go by)

Alastor

met when they were young adults at Mimzys club, it was a slow romance like spring thawing out winter

A slow realization but quick to accept their love for the other, got married so quick people actually started to gossip

that was a theme in their life together, being gossiped about but no one confronting them

he was a famous radio host after all! And she was his lovely housewife, even if she was a yankee

(he doesn’t remember her but they meet when they were younger but only she remembered, didn’t say much cause she knows it wasn’t a happy time for him)

loved to forage and garden, paired with his hunting they always ate very fresh food. (He misses it not that he’d actually say to anyone)

I can see him living outside of New Orleans, not in the bayou but close to the swamps

she didn’t know about his murder hunts, and as he became a cannibal after death she never ate a victim

so while he was shot in the head, my personal headcanon was that people thought the hunter was the mass murderer and a mob got to him before police

I will write about this somewhere else because I have A Lot of thoughts on police work back then, plus the forensics that aid in this

she was of course devastated, she barely ate and when the police told her what happened the first time she fainted

they had to repeat themselves 3 times till it registered that her husband was dead

so many assumed she offed herself, but she just fell asleep in the bath after a breakdown

having drowned and gone to heaven, she finally got to meet the other most important person to Alastor!!

Abigail is also a deer, and was thrilled to meet she lil Al’s lady! Always lowkey knew what kinda person her boy was so is not surprised he isn’t in heaven

his wife is Upset and Confused, he should be here? Why isn’t he in paradise!

I t’s not a-typical but Sera had a meeting with her and basically was like “listen you didn’t know this so you were safe but…”

tells his wife everything, doesn’t hold anything back. Sera knows Abigail has an idea, but not the full picture

now she is Upset and Confused but for very different reasons.

She’s upset for many reasons; he lied to her, many times and in so many ways. She felt like a fool

Confused at herself because she still…misses him. And loves him. He was her Al, sweet with terrible jokes and his mamas recipes.

She shouldn’t. Right? He’s evil and where he belongs.

Opened a coffee shop because she needed something to do, and with no forests to forage she turned to Abigail who turned her to cooking/baking

her menu has his favorite snack foods, and a handful of sweet items that she rotates out

expanded to matcha and espresso in the modern years, but kept her coffee shop in a vintage design

think a tea room design but for a coffee shop

Husk

Ok so Husk always gave me ex-solider vibes, like the drinking and gambling? Coping mechanisms

Husk was probably a very hard man to love and did a lot of learning down in Hell

I can see him leaving his family, but only cause he saw it as the debt leaving with him

(It did and ended up being the reason he died, owing money to the wrong people)

His wife, the reason he can not love, was tough as nails at least on the outside

Would and did roll up her sleeves and did the “man’s work” around the house; fixed up the car, plumbing, made a table out of a tree that fell in the yard

If she could learn how to do it, she put her all into it

When he left took up neighborhood odd jobs, many actually used her for childcare and it inspired her to open her home to kids in need.

They didn’t get to have any kids before he left, they tried but…well she always ended up saying her kids came to her later in life

Caring for and loving those kids are why she’s in heaven, she thankfully passed while not fostering any young ones

Spontaneous heart attack, wasn’t surprised liked her meat and potatoes

Mainly white Calico, long haired to Husks medium(fluffycatsfluffycatsfluffycats)

Not surprised Husk isn’t in heaven, he was a soldier he killed people. Is a lil surprised she’s there

She was a kind woman, a hard life made her have a hard exterior

She did what she could for the children she could, but never saw it as enough

If Hell has children then Heaven probably does too

Opened a few orphanages, got permission from the Seraphim’s and everything

Isn’t a director but does do monthly check ins to make sure everything is to her standards. Wants the best for these kids.

Thinks about Husk in a bittersweet way, knows he’s probably enjoying all the gambling dens and ladies

He was faithful in life and that’s more then most women got, she doesn’t mind him seeking others

It doesn’t matter that she hasn’t tried looking for another, she always preferred her own company anyway

She had been annoyed and angry at him in life for leaving but in the afterlife…..in small quiet moments she thinks about him

all dividers are credited to @saradika-graphics

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Part two thoughts on an ani x bpd reader? Like, when things get that bad, does either of them wake the fuck up and realize things need to change? Remorse or guilt? The reader leaving? Ani leaving or falling into a self loathing hole, doing bad stuff again and again whether to himself or reader) and not taking care of himself?

It’s interesting to read some of your takes on BPD relationships, because I obviously have no idea what that’s like, but you do. You can make it seem very addicting, but also very terrifying and unhealthy, depending on which way the pendulum swings (I hope you take that as a compliment. Tone is hard through text. Lol. 😅).

I personally do not believe abuse is justified in any situation, whether you have a disorder or not. There’s lots of ways to deal with feelings without taking it out on someone else. On the other hand, I know some BPD’s have described feeling horrified with themselves after an episode like that, and so I’ve never really known just how much ‘control’ someone has in that moment. Either way, I still believe it’s the person’s responsibility to find a way to deal with it. Nobody deserves to be miserable around them just because they can’t handle something.

Anyway, I kind of went off on a rant. Apologies. Lol. My main request was for a part two of Ani x BPD reader! ❤️🫶✨

Not offended at all bby.

I think after I’m done with stalker!ani I’ll write a fic on this. Just cause so many people have asked about it.

100% BPD X BPD would be a terrible pairing. Coming from me as a bpd gal.

Now, personally, I’ve never physically abused anyone during an episode. But I HAVE done lots of property damage and I also broke my hand when I used a concrete wall as a punching bag. I split a wooden bat at the tip from whacking a fence once.

When it gets that bad, I don’t really remember what I said or did. I just feel really jittery, almost like an extreme caffeine high you know? (Imagine old cartoon character drinking coffee and their whole body vibrates, eyeballs and all)

But if it doesn’t get to that point, which it rarely does now that I’m medicated correctly and have a good support system, I IMMEDIATELY feel regret. Like horrible sorrow. Bpd means big feelings and when I feel regret, which isn’t often, it feels like I’m grieving a death that I’m to blame for.

For the smaller, more snappy or short outbursts:

My mouth works faster than the logical part of my brain that tells me not to say something mean.

Sometimes I catch myself in the middle of saying something awful and then I just have to finish it because the damage is done and I may as well spit it out. Then I’ll lock myself in the bathroom for an hour until I’ve hyped myself up enough to apologize, then I’ll go back to the bathroom until the big feelings from my apology die down. I’ll be quiet, basically selectively mute for the rest of the day and be super irritable.

It’s exhausting. But it’s even more exhausting to have to continually remind myself not to spew the first thing that pops into my head or not to chuck the bag of shredded cheese at the wall because I can’t get the ziploc to open.

It’s so stupid that something so small as getting my hairbrush stuck on a knot in my hair could set me off into a teeth gritting, foot stomp and shriek. Like wtf? That’s embarrassing. But it happens before I can even think about what I’m doing.

The best way I can describe it is: I’m a bratty toddler when it comes to emotional regulation.

But you’re so right tho, your illness doesn’t give you an excuse to be an ass. It just proves the person doesn’t want to put in the work to get better if they use it as a justifying reason.

BPD might cause my reactions, but I’m in charge of my actual actions. Sometimes it takes a long time for them to recognize that though. I’m an adult now, I’m medicated, I’ve spent my fair share of days in the loony bin. Looking back at my teenage self? It’s horrific and sad. For me and everyone around me back then.

[very-straight-blog]

TB so fast to criticize Aegon about his bastards but not *cough* someone *cough*. It would be totally understandable if he wasn't aware he had some and that it could also be possible that those are just some random dragonseeds but at the very least he had trueborn children with his wife and didn't even fantasize putting a bastard on the throne and straight up just thinking he can get away with it 😂 (and can I just say that lol, if he was aware at least he did it with people with recessive genes lol)

It's funny tho, how they turn their blind eye to all their faves fault and seem to carry T4rg entitlement with them as well like how can you say your fave will be a good ruler when she can't simply do her most important duty? 😭 And it's even crazier now that they have taken to blaming Jaehaerys for setting the precedent good lord

I'll answer both of these questions at once, because they're about the same thing. All the claims against Aegon regarding his bastards aren't entirely clear to me.

First of all, we don't know if this is his son (the boy from the ninth episode of the first season). We have no idea how often Aegon goes to this place or what he does there. The boy looks about 3-5 years old and what is he doing there anyway? Do bastards stay at the place of their conception? How did they track down who Aegon fucked a few years ago? None of this makes any sense at all. In general, Aegon could have bastards (so what?), but this particular scene in the first season was just ridiculous. We can't know anything for sure in a world where all Targaryens fuck around and there's no DNA test. Maybe he's Daemon's one, huh?

Secondly, even if this boy is Aegon's bastard, even if he has a certain number of bastards - what exactly do TB fans expect from him? He has some casual drunk sex with some women - and what's next? Does he have to keep track of his potential children in some way? For what? Do TB fans expect him to gather them all and drag them to the Red Keep? What for? I really wonder how they imagine it. I suppose, even if he ever thought about his bastards, the idea of them is present in his mind on the level of vague suspicion, no more. Most likely, he just doesn't care and I don't see any problem here.

Thirdly, we're in the Middle Ages. HE'S A PRINCE AND LATER A KING. Is it really shocking to someone that he cares more about his legitimate children than about his bastards? It's interesting. And yes - I'm going to say a terrible thought now, but affection for children doesn't come out of nowhere. Aegon takes care of Jaehaera, Jaehaerys and Maelor because he has an emotional connection with them, as well as with Helaena, their mother. He can't start loving some random children from complete strangers just like that.

[weixuldo]

Linecook Anakin HCs

pleaseeee i cannot get this idea out of my mind (maybe i’m just tryna romanticize my job lol) also lemme just say this list is hella unorganized ( just like my brain lol)

warnings: cursing, ani is a typical horny young adult, smoking; weed

Muscular arms, veins!!

Beautiful blue eyes look up at the screen to see the next meal prep (you imagine those same eyes looking up at you like that if you ever get him on his knees)

He always finds something to compliment you on (even though there’s not much room for expression due to the standard comply uniform)

He’s almost always working cause he wants money and honestly doesn’t mind the atmosphere of the kitchen. 

Plus weed isn't cheap and he likes to smoke :)

On breaks you’ll often see him out back smoking a cig or a vape (depending on his mood).

“You know that stuff is bad for you right?” 

“Yea, i dont really give a shit tho”

You roll your eyes, “well don’t tell me I didn’t warn you when you’re carrying around an oxygen tank in thirty years”

He sent a play sad face your way and exclaimed “That’s so sweet, you’re looking out for my health”

“You’re so full of shit Skywalker” you say as you go back inside.

Though, after that encounter you notice he started to chew a lot more gum and smoke a lot less

He flirts with other waitresses too, but you are definitely his favorite

Reaches stuff on the top shelf when you can't. 

“Need some help princess?”

Winks at you from behind the window

Before you got to know him, you were a little afraid of him

He’s honestly so good at his job that it’s scary- he rarely messes up an order and if it's messed up it’s usually ‘cause someone rang it in wrong.

He’d be messing around one minute then barking orders at people when it got busy- he was always so focused on whatever he was doing whether it be cooking the meat, tossing salads, making desserts, etc

You used to see him roll his eyes or talk shit to other waitresses when they didnt do something right. 

“There’s a button for that ya know-”

“You didn’t tell me no onions”

“Ring it in if he wants it that way- I got too many orders to keep up with the shit you’re tellin’ me”

But he seems to be nicer to you…

“Hey Ani- could I get no tomatoes on this please”

“Sure thing, sweetheart”

“There’s my favorite girl” he says when you walk into the back. 

Some servers get jealous of his blatant favoritism (he takes longer on their orders when they’re nasty to you)

The other cooks get along with him fine

You can often find them goofing around in the back

But they think he’s waaaaay too handsome for his own good.

“Why you workin’ here when you could be on the cover of a magazine?”

“He’s here cause Skywalker’s got terrible manners and no game” another cook laughed.

“the fuck I dont” Anakin responded as the rest of the cooks all laughed along. 

His coworkers like to tease him when they see how flirty he gets when you come around. 

Nicknames include: “Pretty boy”, “player”, “heartthrob”

The heat of the appliances mixed with the rush of the night end up giving him a sheen of sweat and a warm blush to his pretty face. 

Ngl, this man would get greasy by the end of the night…

Dried food, condiments,and oils staining his black shirt

By the end of the shift he would have a lingering smell of char from the grill as well as a combined smell of all the food in the kitchen and his own musk from his sweat.

But the blend of labored scents mixed with his cheap cologne and deodorant made for an oddly enticing aroma.

You would joke with him during closing about how bad he smelled, though deep down you knew you liked it. 

“Yea, well we can’t all be in the front smelling like daisies and sunshine” he joked. 

He thought you smelled nice? You had worked a full day too- there was no way.

You insisted you didn’t smell much better than him but he shook his head, “nah princess, I could breathe you in all day”

That may have been a little creepy coming from anyone else, but it was anakin… the hottest guy in the restaurant, the talented cook, the guy you had a huge crush on. 

He’ll saunter into the back while you’re rolling your silverware and chat with you

“Ugh, I’m so ready to ge the fuck outta here” he sighs.

“Tell me about it, today has been so long” 

“Have you atleast made decent money?” 

“Yeah”

He laughs

“What’s so funny?”

“I don’t know why I even asked if you made good money- I should know the answer to that when talking to a girl with such a pretty face,” he says, before slipping back into the kitchen, leaving you with a heavy blush. 

He loves when you’re on ice for side work because the ice machine is right by him in the kitchen 

He likes to watch your ass as you bend down to shovel the ice- if he’s lucky he catches a glimpse of your lacy panties as they ride up your hips. 

When it’s not busy he carries the bucket for you and revels in all of your adorable “thank you’s”

His least favorite side work for you is when you are assigned to the front house because that means you’ll be spending most of the night in the dining area rather than in the back with him. 

Asks what you’re doing on your day off. 

“Probably gonna get high with some friends”

His eyes widened, “you smoke?!”

“Occasionally”

“Weren’t you the one who told me i’d be toting around an oxygen tank?” he quipped and you rolled your eyes. 

“Chill out pretty boy, I mainly just do eddies”

“And you never told me this?!” he grabbed at his heart with a dramatic expression. 

With the new info he spends the next few days working up the nerve to ask you to smoke with him sometime. 

Lucky for him, you’re closing on Saturday and so is he. 

After you check out all of the other servers and do your side work, you head to your car but Anakin calls your name before you leave the kitchen. 

He invites you to hot box in his car before you go and to his surprise you agree (you had a rough night, so why not? plus he is your crush after all)

You get into his car and unbutton your top a bit, it was hot in the restaurant today. 

He turns on the AC and steals a glance at the lacy bra you have on. 

After passing around a blunt the two of you are getting up there; maybe it’s the delirium or maybe it’s the weed, but he is looking finer than ever

you can’t help but hold the blunt between your fingers as you lean across the center console and press your lips against his

he sucks in a breath in surprise before he returns the action.

soon you’re on his lap, grinding on his growing bulge as he runs his strong hands through your hair and all along your body

tbh, you don’t even care that you have open shift tomorrow- this is worth being sleepy

[kyokikia]

Im curious, do people even write for uta? Do people like uta at all?? If you cant tell, she's my favorite female character! I dont see anyone talking about her 😭😭

i might write for her if someone requests it (when requests are back open) but she might be the only one piece female i would ever write for so, sorry for that

Has anyone else on here watched film red? I wanna talk about it with someone because its one of my favorite movies, currently listening to new genesis as i speak (ado's singing was HEAVENLY in the movie)

Ado's singing is so heavenly, and she honestly captured the supposed greatness of uta's voice PERFECTLY. I watched the movie in sub so i couldnt hear amalee dubbing uts, but honestly, i listened to amalee's covers of the songs, and i think the dub watchers were robbed from hearing amalee's covers. She covered all the songs PERFECTLY! She did the spell part of tot musica perfectly aswell and i adore Amalee's and Ado's works so much!

SPOILERS UNDER KEEP READING FOR ONE PIECE: FILM RED

I think she's a little crazy but i love her a lot, what she did in the movie is honestly justifiable. I love her design so much, i wanna cosplay her but i got my bills to pay 😭 i'll do it once i get extra money tho, anyway, i feel so bad for her because for years she thought that shanks had abandoned her but turns out she was manipulated into singing tot musica by the people of Elegia 😭 i feel so bad knowing on how much she probably blamed herself for what happened but it wasnt her fault at all

Shanks is so selfless i swear, the way he just chose to take the blame instead so uta wouldn't blame herself and so she could make other people happy with her voice aswell 😭♥️

Watching uta descend into madness, as her mental health and physical state reach its absolute lowest was so heartbreaking (but the movie was so cool to watch!)

As you probably know, the wakeshrooms cause the person who eats them to stay awake until they die, and makes them more aggravated and brings out their negative emotions more, so i can see why she became more deranged as the movie went on. i feel so bad for her she deserves better 😭 i see why she was driven into madness after meeting shanks after all those years

Being kept on that island for so many years mustve been so depressing, so she was in a bad mental state most of her life. Kept alone, isolated with the entire world other than Gordon, not knowing anything going on in the world is so sad

I can see why she hates pirates so much, seeing as she cares so much about her fans (that she would trap them in the sing sing world just so they wouldnt have to deal with pirates anymore and for a 'new era' which she had good intentions with, but honestly it wasnt that great of an idea) she had the idea that all pirates were bad, and seeing all her fans sending her video mail about it probably amplified her hatred.

I took notice on how by the time uta had to sing tot musica, she was in her absolute worst mental and physical state, some of the words were linked together some words were messed up, i think ado captured on how much of a terrible state uta was in by the time she was forced to sing the song perfectly, i adore ado's singing in film red so much

I might've misunderstood uta honestly, i might've done her wrong in this post, i also realize this entire post is a rant but oh well i honestly just wanted to talk about her, anyone wanna tell me their thoughts on film red?

[monggay]

mumbo jumbo :] haha he glows in the dark and emits radiation like if a specific 10% of his body was replaced with redstone

aka mumbo design from my hc x the mechanisms au and as usual, rambles under the cut !

also see: pearl as gunpowder tim, gem as drumbot brian, and cleo as ashes o'reilly !

so like the mechanisms are a band but they all have characters that they play and have lore and tell stories (theyre immortal space pirates who roam stars in the starship aurora having fun violence and more violence etc etc) GHSJHKFSH im not gonna ramble abt them anymore lol @lucky-sevens is a very good resource for all things mechs + check out lyric vids of their songs on here + their official site

SO BASICALLY, mumbo right? i know i said hed be nastya and he does share some stuff w her but then ppl reminded me of who would be aurora and what of nastyas backstory and i realized tango would be a better fit for those details of nastya so (ex princess tango + starship impulse !!! zed is the ships doctor btw n his mechanism is his brain) i decided to mix n match stuff from different characters n change whatevers, so now about mumbo:

his mechanism is his blood ! which is replaced with redstone :] this makes him radioactive, and also glow red. hes also like, a powered redstone circuit or w/e they are, and can power things by touching them/being near them even. i think redstone would be terrible for circulation but also that i think redstone itself would be pretty hot, being radioactive and all (especially powered redstone)

the coat + gloves etc are for hiding the glow (and also maybe some of the radiation??? i cant imagine that would be very good for normal people), and the scarf is for his head when he goes out n such

the mustache is fake. yeah. mumbo got meched young and did not get a mustache u_u

i think theyd have a backstory kinda like ashes, mumbo worked for the governemnt as a scientist/weapons expert but double crossed them for the rebellion or smth and got assassinated/sabotaged via lab safety violations

ok thats all i got for now abt mumbo

im kinda thinkin if ill keep the original number of 9 mechanisms or if ill add more hermits, i want other mcyts to be album characters and such, with one smp focused on one album maybe, but i dont know if i wanna add hermits as albums characs or as more mechs. maybe them as non-mechs immortals? like king cole or lyf or briar etc. thoughts on etho as carmilla tho?

btw i read everthin ppl say on my posts!!!!! i love all of ur hermitmechs ideas !!!!!!!! im grateful for each and everyone even the keysmashes u_u <3 all three characters in this au so far is now tagged under #hermitmechs!

[hollowtones]

What does the perfect sandwich mean to you

I think for a lot of people (& I might be wrong, & that's okay) the "perfect sandwich" is a very specific, defined thing, presumably with their favourite ingredients made the same way every time. It's concrete. It's an object. It's a solidified idea. And that's fine. This isn't me going "well I'M different and BETTER", it's just different.

I think my idea of a "perfect sandwich" doesn't have any specific categorization and isn't some set recipe. This is vague, but a perfect sandwich is... exactly what I need, exactly when I needed it. That can be a lot of things! That's the point.

Back when I was in college there were some really good sandwich shops nearby, where I could get a banh mi or a submarine & have something filling and relatively cheap that I could carry around with me in between classes, or something quick I could get in the evening if I was working late or getting home late. (There was another sandwich place that was a bit of a walk away that did killer roasted veggie sandwiches, with eggplants and peppers and stuff. I think that was my favourite sandwich, which is different from the perfect sandwich. Also they closed down & got replaced by a shitty bakery at some point. It's probably a fine bakery, I'm just bitter.)

Now imagine it's the middle of summer and it's really damn hot and humid and I'm at home and I'm exhausted. Fully turned into a ghoul from the weather. I don't want to go to the nearby bakeries, let alone take an hour-and-some-change commute to the city, because it's fuckin hot!!!!! You know what else we got in these months, though? Tomatoes, usually!! Good tomatoes. It takes no effort to put tomato on bread or toast with a bit of salt and pepper, maybe a bit of mayo or balsamic, maybe a bit of a hard cheese. I can do that basically asleep. It tastes really fucking good, too.

When I was visiting my partner recently, she made us these little sandwiches for a picnic lunch, on a day we visited some gardens. She baked the buns herself, and they had some mixed greens and deli mustard and some cheese in them. This sounds kind of unassuming when I put it like that. Maybe I'd think that too if it was something I just put together for myself any other day (tho a bit of good cheese and mustard IS really tasty, don't get me wrong). The combination of "my WIFE made this for us" and "it's a beautiful day outside with my partner and I'm very hungry" made it feel very special. I've literally been thinking about these sandwiches months later. I make it for myself sometimes and it's just not the same, haha.

A very short example: Sometimes a grilled cheese hits the spot, & sometimes the exact same grilled cheese feels too rich, too heavy.

I spent 3 hours thinking about this. Sorry if this isn't a terribly conclusive answer. Was very fun to think about, though.

[louislovesdilfs]

Homesick (part 2)

Happy 60th Doctor Who anniversary! how could I not release the second part of this fic today, this is a bit long but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway.

sources: MatPat (film theory) and r/gallifrey on reddit (it was a debate so I took informations from different people and kind of mixed them together to work with something reliable,sort of)

pairing: 9th/10th Doctor x male!reader

please dont take anything I say about Doctor Who universe for canon, this may or may not be true, some of these are just theories, take them as such.

●□●□●□●□●□●□●□●□●□●□●□●□●□●□●

"I told you I didn't like him, right?" Y/n says getting in the TARDIS, he sits on the yellow seats near the console lookin at Rose tilting his head a little, The Doctor chuckles as he watches the young man teasing Rose.

"oh please Y/n, just admit you were jelous" she scoffs teasing him back, they're talking about Rose new 'Boyfriend' Adam, he turned out to be as dumb as a donkey...no poor donkey he is as dumb as a rock.

"jelous? of that guy? tsk" he says almost offended by Rose's statement, he wasn't jelous, jelous of what? Rose? yea right...she's like his little sister, she looks a lot like his actual sister...or how she would look like now...anyway The Doctor flirts with Rose too and it doesn't bother him, it does bother him when The Doctor flirts with anybody else but that's totally unrelated.

"got all defensive now have you?" she teases him with a victory smirk on her face, Y/n tho ignores her turning to The Doctor who's grinning while messing with the console.

"Y/n is right tho, he got a hole in his head." The Doctor points out, Y/n smiles at him and they bump fists as Rose sighs

"two against one, so unfair" she says as the two men laugh looking at each other.

----

"is that a good idea?" Y/n asks genuinely concerned, Rose wants to see her father when he was still alive, she wants to witness his death, legit of course but absolutely not a good idea.

"I just want to know how he was." she says, a but of sadness in her voice,

"I'm not judging you, it's jus- it's ok watching your parents' wedding but witness his death?" Y/n says again, he knows about witnessing a parent death and it's not great, definitely not something he wants to repeat

"how would you know?" Rose doesn't actually snap at him, it's a genuine question born from his concern, he looks away not wanting to answer at first so The Doctor interrupts them

"he's just worried, and so am I Rose" The Doctor says resting a hand on Y/n's shoulder, the man probably understood, he can see Y/n's been trough something and doesn't want to share, after all The Doctor does the same thing.

"I want to see him." she says firmly, Y/n and The Doctor let out a defeated sigh

"your wish is my comand, just be careful what you wish for" The Doctor says pressing some buttons.

As Y/n predicted things went terribly, Rose did manage to adjust the mess she made anyway, the three are silently walking to The TARDIS but Rose is looking at Y/n and then at The Doctor who shifts his gaze from the floor to her and then him before shaking his head lightly at Rose.

"Y/n" she calls turning to him ignoring The Doctor

"yes?" he turns to her not suspecting anything

"do you have a family?" she asks, rightfully Y/n thinks, they both oepend up, The Doctor talked about the Time War and his planet, Rose made them witness her father's death and in general they always tell some stories from their past, Y/n doesn't, it did make the both of them curious even if The Doctor didn't want to admit it.

"once." he sighs and he is thinking about stopping there but seeing the curious gaze of his friends makes him give in.

"we were four, my dad, he was a lawyer, worked until his last day on earth, my sister...she...she was so sweet, she looked like you Rose.." he says looking at her, she did look like her sister, it was painful yet beutiful in his eyes.

"she disappeared, probably kidnapped." he says but his ideas on the matter where slightly different, he could ask The Doctor to go back just to have the answers but he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to know if she's dead. He wants to keep hoping.

"my mother died when I was 7, she died in front of me, she wanted to help a poor man on the road, he then tried to kiss her and she rejected him, he gave her 50 stabs, I was there, I witnessed it all. He wasn't a poor man and she wasn't his first victm. The police didn't arrive on time and he was running away. I grab his knife and- " he stops, his hands closed in fists as his eyes are holding back tears. The Doctor brushes his knuckles and holds his hand as soon as Y/n lets him. Rose looks at the two men hesitating before hugging Y/n, she didn't want to ruin the moment between the two.

"he will stay on a wheelchair for the rest of his life." he says looking at The Doctor and holding his hand tightly as he rests the other on Rose's shoulders accepting the hug. After a while she lets go of him and the three enter The TARDIS but she notices, the two men are still holding hands, they're sharing a grief, both of them are alone in this world, the look in their eyes is similar, Rose sees it, do they?

-----

to be honest all the time Y/n wasted flirting with Jack gave him something else to thinks about even if that would mean having the burning stare of The Doctor on his neck. His mind was repeating the same things, over and over: there is no escape, they're all going to die, what if Rose gets turned in one of them? what if The Doctor is the one? can't go home without him, they're going to be stuck there, forever, die like this, being emptied out...what a pathetic way to die. He wakes up from his thoughts, the group is not far from him still they sound distant, maybe cause he's not paying attention to them, something in the room feels wrong, something is off even if it's hard to recall what precisely. He sees it tho, after a few minutes, the little boy behind her, it's too late to yell at them to run, it's too late to warn Rose but something makes Y/n's legs move as fast as they could putting himself between Rose and the kid, he feels the touch of the tuny hand and the only thing he can do now is turn to face the others,

"Run" Y/n says with a pale face, what an idiot he is, sacrifice himself, the thought of it almost makes him chuckle,

"Y/n-" Rose tries to say something but the young man shakes his head interrupting her,

"no, I won't let that happen again. Go. it was good while it lasted." that's all he can say, the thing is pushing in his throat, it draws blood as it makes its way to the surface, it hurts, it's all so painful, he shuts his mouth trying to hold back the infamous words he feels in his throat; he helds back tears too, Y/n doesn't want them to see him that vulnerable, it's so pathetic. He couldn't let Rose die, he couldn't let that happen, not again, she...not her, not now.

"You're not going to die, Y/n, that's a promise" The Doctor says in a deadly serious tone, he looks mad, maybe at himself for allowing this to happen.

"go..m-mom-" Y/n falls to his knees before the complete dark, he doesn't see anything, he feels his body moving but has no control of it, that is his end, that's where he will stay for the rest of eternity but then a familiar voice brings him back to reality.

"Y/n!" Rose says as the young man opens his eyes,

"Rose? what?" he asks puzzled, he looks at her as she smiles widely. Rose pulls him in a tight hug and he allows her to do so, he's happy she's okay and apparently he is too. The Doctor joins the hug too as Y/n hugs him even tighter, The Doctor laughs shaking his hand in Y/n's hair messing them up a bit.

"you thought you lost me didn't you?" Y/n asks smiling at the man, the smile was genuine, The Doctor stares at the young man for a while thinking how complicated this guy is, there are worlds to discover in Y/n, worlds.

"you doubted me didn't you?" he asks offended but still smiling, his smile is wide, he's so happy to see Y/n again, he did think he lost him for a second,

"answer a question with a question?" he shots back looking in The Doctor's eyes with a cheeky smirk,

"avoiding to answer the question?" both of them laugh leaving Rose in confusion,

---

"oh god oh shit!" Y/n says looking at the glass bridge, he is in some sort of game he doesn't remember how he got in or when he just know he is there, he needs to play to survive, squid game style, indeed the game he needs to play is exactly like the one in the show, 18 sets of pannels, the players have to jump on one of them and hope the glass they jumped on is the tempered one, if not they fall dying, Y/n hates the game, it's generally decided by random coin flips, worst case scenario we have 18 deaths, best case scenario 0 deaths but the chances are more than just low.

The chances for the first in line to get everything right are 1 in 262.144 wich gives and average of 9 deaths, meaning: first 6 people are screwed with less than 5% chance of survival while going 13th and later the chances grow to 95% or better. Y/n knows it, it doesn't take long to do the math, he chooses his number, 13, he's the 13th in line the game for him goes smoothly but he will always remember the screams he heard while the other fell in the nothingness. Once on the other side the bridge explodes and all the pieces of glass hit Y/n everywhere leaving him tiny cuts all over, he is a bloody mess and as soon as The Doctor rescues him he notice the lucid eyes of his.

"you ok?" he asks brushing the other man's hand in a caring way, Y/n doesn't answer, he just nods. lies.

Later on, The Doctor, Rose and Y/n are on floor 500, as Rose's speaks

"suppose" she says and The Doctor turns to her

"what?" he asks, Y/n turns to her too, hoping she has a good idea

"nothing" she shakes her head still thinking

"c'mon Rose, spit it out" Y/n sighs, his face still covered in tiny cuts and bruises bleading from some of them.

"No, I was just thinking. I mean, obviously you can't, but, you've got a time machine. Why can't you just go back to last week and warn them?" she says, The Doctor and Y/n both shake their head, it was a nice try, not good enough but nice.

"As soon as the Tardis lands in that second, I become part of events, stuck in the timeline." The Doctor explains but then he rants about something, it isn't clear to Y/n even if he can understand half the things he says, he learns fast and really smart but yet something about this Delta Wave and crossing his own timeline seems off and wrong, too late to understand it tho, the TARDIS starts to move Y/n rushes to the door before it closes shut but they don't lead where Y/n wishes, a vortex is what he finds, he falls in it as he hears Rose shouting his name and then the TARDIS door closing.

Y/n risked his life tons of time with The Doctor, he did always end up alive tho, The Doctor was such a brilliant man, it didn't last as long as Y/n wished; that's what his mind thinks before the pain, he's falling while the time winds shred his body, the pain is excruciating, he can't scream, he can't cry, he can't even breath; the air is stuck in his lungs while all his body gets older, he can feel his organs failing, but it gets also younger, his cells go back to when they were born. His body tries to heal itself as fast as it can, it borns and dies a countless amount of times.

His mind sees everything, every point in history, he's there. He has always been there. His brain gains informations it shouldn't get, too much he feels it melt, it isn't tho, no, no it is expanding itself in a painful process, as slow as it is quick. Time is relative, past, present, future...and then the end. He's back, a gold light makes him come back, it's like his heart beats twice, his chest hurts, his head hurts, his eyes are complitely red, blood is where is supposed to be white, he sees The Doctor, his Doctor kissing Rose...she's alive, he's alive...Y/n closes his eyes but a smile is formed on his lips as a tear runs down his cheek before the dark.

When his eyes open he is inside of the TARDIS, Rose is on the ground, alive but probably unconscious, The Doctor is near the console shining in the same gold light, Y/n understands something is going to change, his mind is still hurting him but that doesn't stop him from standing up ignoring the pain in his body.

"Y/n, oh you're so stubborn, you couldn't just stay in the TARDIS huh?" The Doctor says while his hands glow, it's not as pretty as before, it looks wrong.

"you're dying are you?" he says looking at the man's hand, The Doctor smiles shaking his head

"Timelords regenerate, we change appearance to cheat death, It's the last time you're seeing me with this face, Y/n" he says looking at the young man, he's looking at him like this will be the last time he will be able to do it, Y/n gets closer but The Doctor steps back telling him to stop, Y/n doesn't, he gets closer to the man touching his cheek with his right hand, no words are spoken between the two, just an understanding look, a stolen kiss, quick, meaningless.

Rose wakes up in time for The Doctor's goodbye, a burst of golden light and then a new face, he surely looks handsome, messy hair, cheeky smile, he's good looking for sure.

"where was I? ah yes..Barcellona!"

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

as everyone is celebrating the Sycorax leaving Y/n feels like he already saw it, he knoes something is wrong as he looks at The Doctor faking a smile to avoid ruining the moment, but Y/n can't lie to The Doctor, he always seems to see right trough his lies sometimes. He gets closer looking at the young man

"what?" he asks, new voice, new accent...it's difficult for Y/n to see his Doctor in this man

"something is about to happen" and as he says that the Sycorax spaceship explodes attacked by 5 green beams that steak up in the sky

"what is that? what's happening?" Rose asks as her smile disappears quickly, Y/n stares at Harriet with fire in his eyes, not thinking about why he knew something was coming, it doesn't matter now, he feels his blood boil as he he grits his teeth before speaking in a very low voice

"they killed them." he says and then turns to The Doctor, the man sees the fury in Y/n's eyes but understands it, he shares the same anger, Y/n whispers something to The Doctor and he nods getting closer to Harriet's assistant, five words, and she's done. 

"Oh, it's beautiful. What are they, meteors?" Rose asks looking at the sky,

The Doctor dressed up with a brown suit and a long coat on top, he's wearing white converse which Y/n, who loves sandshoes, appreciates about this new Doctor,

" It's the spaceship breaking up in the atmosphere. This isn't snow, it's ash." he explains looking at the sky as well

Y/n stays behind, watching the two of them, he listens to the conversation, he doesn't want to interrupt them, he doesn't want to be the third wheel really,

"Well, back to the Tardis. Same old life." he says looking at Rose

" On your own?" she asks biting her nail a but unsure about his answer, Y/n scoffs silently, of course not, look at him, the man is lost.

"Why, don't you want to come?" The Doctor asks her raising his eyebrows

"Well, yeah." she says and in that moment Y/n interrupts leaning against the TARDIS

"I'm invited too right? just checking" he asks crossing his arms

"I'd love for the both of you to come" The Doctor says looking at Y/n and then at Rose, she takes Y/n hand dragging him near them, and then she takes The Doctor's too, they start pointing at the stars asking in which direction they should go, wherever will do, for the first time ever Y/n is actually feeling good about something.

[skipblebee]

HELLOOOO TGCF NATION!!! TODAY I BRING YOU AN AU IDEA‼️🫵

So I've been watching this show called Monk lately and MY GOSH I love it- so very normal about it that my brain went "Skip!! What if we made an au inspired by this!!"

And so I present to you:

A tgcf detective au!

------

Where Xie Lian is the best detective there- who can figure out every single case no matter how impossible it seems, but his luck is so terrible that something always goes wrong (like his evidence suddenly missing) and eventually, he gets laid off the force.

Hua Cheng on the other hand, has looked up to Xie Lian ever since they were at the academy and Xie Lian defended him in a case where he was wrongfully accused (also the case that made Xie Lian popular)

Hua Cheng now, is said to be a "good luck charm" because whoever has him on their team ALWAYS ends up solving their cases!! Like wherever he goes evidence will just pop up so he's seen as someone super lucky

On hearing about what happened to Xie Lian, he offers to work with him to solve cases and prove that xl is capable and can get back in the force.

They'd balance each other out and although people think they're an unusual duo, they seem to work pretty well together!!

-----

I haven't thought much about the side characters but so far I'm thinking they work for a detective agency headed by Jun Wu, who has the public persona of an angel but he's secretly into some pretty shady stuff,,,,

Let's just say Xie Lian's cases where evidence went missing,,, most of them might've been from cases Jun Wu would've been involved in.

Y'all know I am an AVID fengqing enjoyer so ofc we have those two, always bickering but being the best duo, always able to bounce off of each other, always getting paired to go on missions together‼️‼️

Yin Yu and Yizhen?? Maybe Yin Yu landed the role of a secratary even though he always wanted to be a detective. Yizhen is someone who kinda just tagged along with him but ended up getting the detective job instead of him. Which is messy but he buys him coffee every break they have cuz he has a massive crush on him. Don't tell him I told you that tho. Not that he's trying hard to hide it.

I came up with this au pretty recently so I haven't fully figured it out yet!! But I do like the idea a lot :D

[waywardstation]

alright here we go...

I've brought together the basic outline of my idea... and since I said I share it here I am!

I really hope you like it and it is something interesting for you! I had a lot of fun fleshing out these ideas so it's alright.

~-~-~-~-~

Like it is established in your thoughts Warden Ingo is like an empty husk of who he used to be, torn away from his old life, his memories and from Emmet. I've added to this idea that there is a link between certain humans and Reshiram + Zekrom at all times. Aside the fact these humans have a high tendency of leaning into truth/ideals there isn't much else but it gives the dragons some kind of balance and ties to the people of Unova. Kyurem being "just" the husk has no such tie to the people, though it longs for one.

Ingos ties to Zekrom has been severed when he arrived in Hisui and as there already is a human tie in this time on top of being a shadow of his former self it has become a once in a lifetime moment for Kyurem to have a human tie as well.

Kyurem feels Ingo's presence all the way in Hisui and eventually seizes the opportunity to form a human tie with him. But things go horribly wrong and Ingo ends up being in a half frozen state. Never feeling truly warm; the few things his heart remembers from his old life keeping his core just warm enough.

With ice leaking out of him and an incident where he almost hurts (or does hurt) someone(not sure who), he steps down as a Warden and Instructor at the Dojo and decides to hide in one of the many ice caves in the Icelands, so he can no longer be a danger to the people. After all safety of others comes first, no matter what.

Enter Akari who just refuses to leave Ingo to his own misery and is determined to help him out of this no matter how. And no matter what it takes.

(I've also thought of the idea that since Ingo's tie with Zekrom has been severed it affects present Unova as well. With Zekrom being restless + causing random thunderstorms all over Unova. I can see N seeking out the Pokemon trying to find out what's wrong. Not sure though how much Emmet will be involved, I can see him being affected by the severed tie as well as Reshiram, not sure how at this moment though... Especially since Emmet isn't even aware of his tie... just that something is horribly wrong beside that Ingo is missing.)

~-~-~-~-~

and there you have it.

Its really just a rough outline, I think it will get better over time and sound less "rough"...

also excuse any mistakes. There are times I feel the face english isn't my native tongue come through and this might be one...

Hope you like it! Take all the time you need to reply! I am a bit nervous but I'm sure I'll be fine!

In regards to this post

OHHHH OH THIS IS SO COOL I LOVE THIS CONCEPT!! Kyurem wanting a connection with someone but it can’t in its empty state, augh… ;n;

MAN. I could certainly see how this tie would be severed especially if Ingo was placed into a different timeline when this happened (a timeline where he already exists and is fine in the present/hasn’t been sent back yet?). Putting something into a timeline separate from the Zekrom he’s connecting to, and into a timeline where a “him” already exists and is connected to that timeline’s zekrom would leave him without a connection at all. (WHEW THATS CONFUSING but I see your vision and ITS VERY VERY GOOD)

Especially if Ingo doesn’t know exactly what’s going on with this persistent cold and this feeling of connection, I could see why he’d want to separate himself from a situation. Even if it wasn’t a terribly bad incident, don’t give things a chance to do something worse, especially if you don’t understand what you’re dealing with.

I AM GLAD TO HEAR AT LEAST AKARI IS THERE TO HELP WHEN HE TRIES TO WITHDRAW. They will figure out what’s going on together!!!

I love the thought of Zekrom becoming restless. A tie was severed!! I doubt either of them have ever dealt with a situation like that and even know what a severed tie feels like. And the thought of N trying to figure things out and talk to the dragons as well… SO GOOD.

WHAT A GOOD OUTLINE, FRIEND!! I’m so glad you shared it, I enjoy this concept a lot and would love to hear additions you make to it as time goes on!! Thank you for sharing!!

[amethystfairy1]

What’s your writing process? Like do you do outlines or just jump right into plot etc… I’m a young writer (14) and really admire your work and want to get better myself. Ty!

✨WRITING PROCESS✨

...

this.

this is my writing process.

OK TO BE REAL THO

Firstly, I don't do outlines.

I KNOW THAT'S BAD BUT I JUST DON'T

What I usually do is word vomit whatever idea I have for a fic into a notes file.

For example! Here's a little random nonsense I just copied verbatim from my notes file that might look familiar!

Tango and Z in sky, blue cracks, Z decides to drop a container with info and his phone number into the rift. He wants to talk to the hybrids, maybe he’s some sort of researcher, he went AWOL from the biotech Institute, something like that. But he is human. Then, tango finds it, or it is brought to him, because he is a direct aid to doc in the labs. Tango ends up deciding to call Z, and they end up becoming really good friends, but only over the phone. Have some fun stuff, where both Z and tango are getting a crush, but how can you crush on someone you’ve never even seen? Tango is freaking out, because he’s not the type of hybrid that can pass as human. he knows he’ll never be able to meet Z face to face. But Z is a little more determined that he gives him credit for. Also have X be a side character in the labs, voidwalker, something like that! Maybe Z is an AWOL scientist, and scar, picked him up to work in his hot guy lab, with cub.

This is the blurb that spawned the Zedango arc in TTSBC.

In case you can't tell I use the dictation function in notes because like 90% of the time I have ideas while I'm driving so I'll just tell my phone to write down whatever I'm thinking and then talk it out

So yeah! I do this, which I dunno is kinda like an outline? I do it for more or less all of my fics.

As far as other stuff, I think the best advice I can give about being a "better writer", which has to do with your question about 'jumping into plot' is to know about your characters and your world , even if you don't plan to share that information in the piece you are writing, or even like, ever.

It's the way you make your characters feel like people. I was actually talking about this with @honeylashofficial not to long ago! You should know why your characters make the choices they do, even if that information never comes up. You should know what they like and dislike and why, if they have traumas then how would those traumas affects them in small daily ways?

Jimmy in TTSBC grew used to being threatened for his wings, so now he has a love-hate relationship with them.

Tango spent a long time without a truly safe place to sleep as a child, so now he has insomnia because he has an internalized fear of falling asleep/being vulnerable.

Zed was treated very poorly at his previous workplace, and he had a terrible experience where his professional lifes work was torn to shreds in front of him, so his self-esteem is very low, and he tends to be very self-deprecating even in a joking fashion.

Cub has sensory issues that severely impact his mood because of his warden hybrid traits, so he typically keeps himself very low energy as a baseline to avoid seeming like he has mood swings.

Even little stuff like what characters notice about their surroundings! Again in TTSBC, Jimmy pays close attention to the weather and the sky, Scott notices people features and expressions, Cub has more detailed thoughts about sounds than he does about sights, stuff like that!

Also I'm gonna give ya the piece of advice no one wants to hear when they're just starting. Just write. Write a TON.

Write even if you only have half an idea. Write even if you think it's gonna be bad. Write if you have even the slightest smallest bit of a motivation to do so, just WRITE WRITE WRITE.

And I will say while I could just be one of the lucky ones, I have been posting on various fanfic websites since I was 13. And in all that time I can count on one hand the amount of hate/negative comments I have received. Over a DECADE of writing and posting and I’ve written and posted A LOT and I have only ever been met with kindness, excitement, and encouragement.

Also, the delete button exists for a reason. You curate your experience on these websites. Especially on A03, with the ability to reply to comments, you can make very clear very quickly what sort of comments you want, which ones you don't, and the vast vast vast majority will be people who are excited about your work and want to encourage you!

If you need a mood booster or some encouragement, you can find my old old stuff on FF.net under the same penname, Amethystfairy1. Just promise you won't come back over here and send asks laughing at me for how bad those stories are, ok? 😆

My point is, you learn best by doing. As you write you will get a feel for your characters, for how they interact and react, for what your specific writing style is going to be and what you enjoy writing the most. And write what you enjoy! Of course you should stretch your writing style, but also make sure you never feel like you're slogging through your writing, especially if it's for fun or creative!

OH ONE MORE THING! 👏

I HIGHLY RECCOMEND DOING A WRITING CHALLENGE!

Stuff like Whumptober, Febuwhump, Novemcomfort, AU-gust, or different fandom weeks that come up, you can find them all over tumblr! Try to participate in one of those and get in as many days as you can! It'll make you write a lot in a short period of time, and you won't have time to overthink it, which I believe is really helpful for finding your writing style and getting comfortable with writing and posting content! It'll also give you a connection to a community of other writers who are participating, especially if you plan to post your updates to tumblr like I do!

Whatever you do on your writing journey, I hope it brings you much joy, fun, and creativity! You'll create something beautiful, I just know it! 💖

[very-straight-blog]

In light of that wonderful expo, which gave us so much TGC content, can I just say that Aegon's "I've done everything you ask me to... and I try so... I try so hard, but it will never be enough" line would've hit harder (TGC's acting was so fucking good tho) if hotd would bother to show us scenes (just flashbacks, literally anything) of a young Aegon doing anything, from his studies to his training and showing off his talents/knowledge by trying to interact with Viserys and doing anything to get his attention but seeing/realizing that Viserys was never interested in him no matter what which would kick off his spiral to alcoholism and the frequent ventures to flea bottom (and finally see his book traits of being a sullen boy) and eventually becoming lazy. Instead, they included some dumb af scenes that serve no purpose other than shock factor or trying so hard to be got. They were so allergic to giving/having sympathetic scenes for the greens that some even hated the idea of Aemond being bullied instead of being the bully. Like, I laughed at the praise the show gets when it clearly suffers from so much "telling everything to the audience" instead of letting the audience come to a conclusion by describing the events and actions. BUT, then again, seeing as most of the reaction to Alicent being maritally raped, Aemond being bullied, Aemond claiming Vhagar (and literally losing an eye), and Alicent snapping in Driftmark was clearly so different, never mind lmao. But, that's just my opinion lmao. Sorry for the rant, I've been thinking about it lately but do get ready, just in case some get pissed at this lmao.

Feel you! I even had a big post on this topic - here. I won't repeat myself, but yes - there's a huge problem in the series with describing things instead of showing them. If we talk about Aegon - literally everything we know about him - we know from his words or the words of other people, and this is very annoying, especially considering the difference between what others say about him and how we see Aegon on the screen. Tom plays a depressed alcoholic with mommy issues, who makes vulgar jokes and has some dildos on the bedside table. This is his maximum. We're even shown his disgust at the sight of cruelty - I wrote about it here. However, other characters describe him as a rapist prone to sadism. What? Who wrote this script? I think about it quite often and I get terribly angry every time. Aegon was an amazing character in the book - interesting, dramatic, but in the series all the positive qualities were taken away from him, even in those scenes that we see - like the fact that he wants to escape, while in the book he agreed to accept the crown to protect his family. It's all incredibly frustrating.

[beneathcandycoatedclouds]

Ok hear me out I've been thinking so much about Astarion for obvious reasons but also about consent and how important that is to him as a character

I was talking to my husband about how I love him because he always waits for you to ask for things before doing them (feeding, relationship stuff, etc.) And even tho all the characters do that it feels extra special with him given his trauma and being a vampire, which usually means you hunt people for sport and are not asking permission, and my husband was like "yeah except for the first time"

And here's the thing about that - Astarion is a rogue. A real sneaky boy. Mechanically has sneak attack. His bite bonus action has a 100% chance of hitting. You shouldn't wake up until he has latched on to you already. Which leads me to believe... That he meant to wake you up that first time. He meant to wake you up so that there would be a chance to reveal his nature and to ask if he can have some blood so he doesn't fuckin' die. But given that the dude isn't used to trust or vulnerability and revealing that he is a vampire is already a MASSIVE show of that, he needed to find a way to make it seem like he wasn't asking permission. In a weird way, he wanted to ask for consent without being fully vulnerable. And to me this was the first display, way early on, that he was just waiting for someone to trust him and trust in his abilities to make the right choice. He knows what that choice is he just needs people to trust him to make it (which is also another de-LICIOUS theme with all the other companions as well and the overarching theme of overcoming the darkness within us as a whole).

And on top of all this he later reveals that he has never tasted blood from someone before!!! Only animals!!! Like even when he had to do terrible things for Cazador or was out searching the streets for victims he never caved once! He was living off of the putrid rats Cazador gave him and denied his hunger when out in public because it was important to him that he didn't hurt people when he didn't absolutely have to from evil papa C!

And like yeah. Sometimes he wants murder and chaos and children to die in act I. But also hear me out - one of the things so many approval guides messes up in explaining what he approves of is "is this person typically classified as a monster? Are you killing them without looking for an explanation or giving them another chance, even if they might not deserve it?" And usually it's things like sparing the act I hag or other "monsters". That's why he is so blatantly racist to the Gur - and please don't misunderstand I think it's rough to hear that part - but looking at it from his perspective as well, Gur monster hunters kill "monsters" without a second thought. If Astarion was alone they would have just murdered him without thinking or realizing that he wasn't everything they thought he was or knowing he had never tasted human blood.

Now we are far away from the original post idea from consent but this all leads to the final point of like. People characterizing him as chaotic evil and just how much the alignment system really can do people dirty. Like no! It can all be traced back to a deep good desire of wanting to give people another chance and giving people an opportunity to make their own choices and be better! He has no idea but that desire is there! Basically it's like the option you can say to Minsc - there's good and bad in everyone it's just what people want to listen to