#(he fails)

[wispforever]

thought this part in akatsuki hiden was pretty funny

[okcrk0]

“I want to be gentle. But I’m afraid of falling apart. Why do I fall apart?”

[matchingbatbites]

Anyone ever see A Walk in the Clouds?

Imagine with me, if you will, Alpha Eddie trying to find his way in the world after discovering his long-time partner had been cheating on him. He decides to head home, back to the Midwest and his uncle, but on the train he meets an unbonded Omega travelling alone.

Steve is kind, and beautiful, and so sweet when he asks if Eddie would mind accompanying him home, saying that he just trusts the alpha. Eddie wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to Steve, so of course he agrees, changes his plans and travels with the omega to his family's vineyard.

It's not until they've almost arrived that Steve breaks down, that he confides in Eddie how he's terrified to go home. He's unmated and pregnant, and his family is traditional, they'll disown him before they let him shame the family name like that.

Eddie can't stand to see someone so kind in distress, and he offers a plan: What if they're together?

A whirlwind romance leading to a quick marriage, an unexpected but treasured pregnancy. They didn't want to get mated until they could have a proper ceremony with Steve's family, which is why they're coming to visit.

In a coupe of days Eddie will take off in the middle of the night, leaving behind a note saying that he isn't ready to be a dad, that he still wants to see more of the world and he hopes Steve finds an Alpha who can love him and the pup properly.

Eddie takes the fall as the uncaring, inconsiderate Alpha, and Steve gets to play the part of abandoned, dejected Omega. Eddie goes home, Steve gets doted on by his family; it's a win-win, yeah?

Now all Eddie has to do is not fall in love with Steve.

[jullythevamp]

just because santiago is cunty does NOT mean that you should forget all of his crimes! fuck him!

[sereshawl]

Bradley got Jake’s initials tattooed on his ass one night while he was drunk.

[its-actually-minicika]

As someone who wakes up spooning her blankest I'm curious what would HW Aemond do if Lady Tully was like that? Let's say they sleep with pillows in between but somehow she managed to throw them or roll over them and now Aemond is the little spoon. I think he would hold it over Lady Tully's head in a 'you love me too' way but then again he doesn't talk much and everytime he talks he says wrong things so...

How We Can Fit

Pairing: THW!Aemond x Reader;

Warnings: surprisingly... none? Some usage of strong language, but that should be all

Author's Note: Okay, I was planning to reply to this in my usual 3-4 sentences answer. BUT my mind kept thinking about this while in class, so have this sort of one-shot headcanon piece (?) that could have plausably happened in the "Harshest Winters" universe!

I did this while on the 30min ride back home, so don't really consider this a full on fanfic? More like a little snippet into what could have been idk :"))

Sometimes he wishes he got to you first. What would have been then?

And so cruel morning arrives, stirring Aemond awake, as would a mother’s gentle hand. Golden threads of daybreak light thread themselves into his silver hair, falling like a hailing echo down her calming face, giving her the image of naught else but a flaming Goddess.

His eye widens at the proximity between them. His right hand twitches in alienated bliss. Almost immediately, he stops his movements – his breathing – all in the hopes of not waking her up.

He trails his stare over her lips, slightly parted in their merry sleep, and over her plump cheeks, marred slightly red by the blissfulness of her dreaming.

His heart is hammering out of his chest, for he can feel her limbs entangled with his, holding him closer yet to her heaving form.

For but a moment, the calls of blasphemy and duty pull him away from the glorious sight before him. It was past dawn, and he had a war to win.

Still his heart broke upon thinking of leaving her unintentional embrace.

Perhaps he could stay in bed some more.

Two, mayhaps three hours passed.

In her tender slumber, the girl’s hands remained snaked around the Targaryen’s lean chest. Her chin was plopped above his head, leaving a very conflicted Aemond to wrestle underneath her bosom, and hold her gently by the nape of her neck, and small of her back.

A low purr almost escaped his lips, as her tiny heartbeats reached his contempted ears.

But all good things must come to an end. And his perfect morning stopped abruptly, as his Lady took in a deep breath, and slowly tried to rouse from their entangled sheets.

“Mmm…” She sighed into the warm pillows, “... Jace?”

All his blood that had gone to his crotch, now left for his ears. Aemond pursed his lips tightly in response to her sleepy question, and only drove his head further into her neck. If he closed his eye fast enough, then maybe…

A near-horrified shriek parted from her downturned mouth, and the woman made haste to rise from her resting place, peeling her warm body off of Aemond’s.

This had not been the right approach, she chastised herself relentlessly, whilst biting on her lower lip. If he wasn't already awake before her, he most certainly was now.

Her cheeks were set ablaze, both embarrassed and offended, as she noticed the separating wall she’d made between them… discarded away, on the Prince’s half of the wide bed.

“I know you’re awake, you know.” The woman hushed to the Targaryen, while crossing her arms over her aching chest. “Pretending to be asleep is beneath you.”

“As were you, My Lady, whilst coddled up to me.” The older man mused to himself, and whistled lowly, while his voice oozed out with confidence – although his lilac orb had strayed away, glimmering with a look akin to a growing discomfort.

Uncertainty.

“Should I assume your desperation to blossom from feeling cold at night? … Or, on the contrary, for feeling too hot near me?” A taciturn smirk pulled at his lips. “I should be very happy to help relieve you. With either affliction of the two.”

The Lady’s face turned sour, and her nose scrunched up at his advances. “I should find myself in ample heat, Prince Aemond, thank you. Do not worry yourself to touch me further.”

Familiar anger swirled dangerously inside his purple hue, and the Prince Protector of the Realm took a deep breath to soothe his nerves.

“Ungrateful wench.” He hissed through his gritted teeth. “You act like a bitch in heat, trying to seduce me, and then you pull away?”

Her mouth slouched open at his cutting words. “Excuse you?” She almost spat out in a low churl, “As if it wasn’t you who removed our barrier sometime along the night.” His irking remarks had brushed off any reminders of her mellow sleep. “Honour me by answering this, my Prince – between the two of us, who’s acting more like the bitch in heat?”

(Y/N) didn’t think Aemond was capable of blushing – but as she gave him a haughty glare, one that he couldn’t look away from, his face turned of a violent hue.

She had a point. He had removed the pillows that kept his body away from her, and did encourage her movements throughout his sleepless night.

Wordlessly, he scowled, starting to regret sleeping in with her.

“Do not flatter yourself, My Lady. You are no better than any maid I can find at any brothel.” His body burned with shame at his own words, and yet he couldn’t stop the flow that followed. “Hmm, but dare I even compare you to one?” His mouth contorted to a painful scowl, “At least there I should be able to rise up their skirts and see what’s underneath. Go as far as to pay two silvers for a real maiden, too.”

Long and hard had he awaited her next reply, but to no avail. After a quick quirk of her brow, the woman had turned around, getting off the bed and gathering the pillows from the cold floor.

“You won’t say anything? Do you care so little for your honour?”

“I care not what you think of it. And I certainly have no reason to prove myself to you.”

“Aeveris ābra.” He growled at her lack of interest. “Skoro syt līs ao qrimbrōzagon issa sīr?”

Still fuming with dissatisfaction, the young Prince slid out of the bed and began putting on his leather pants. His ire had reached peaks of no return, but he would be damned if he ever tormented the girl further.

His words had done nothing to aid him. His countenance, even less. There was no point in him staying in her presence any longer.

As he put on the last reminder of his clothes, the King Regent of the Seven Kingdoms made four wide steps towards the big, oak doors.

“I shall return later. We’ll dine together, as we do every night.”

Her silent treatment broke him from the inside out. He would apologize to her, when the time was right.

The ridiculous thought put an end to his automatic movements.

… Since when does he feel the need to do that?

Since he dared to love her, came his bitter reply.

His hand reached for the door, but her voice rang out through the wide chamber.

“Nyke dōmrī daor naejot naevlor iksum. Olvie less ao.”

Hearing her proud and crystal words, Aemond allowed a stilling smile to grace his lips.

"Nyke ȳdra daor jaelagon naejot naviras ao. Dōrī ao." He corrected her as he stepped away.

"Fret not, there is plenty of time for me to teach you."

… If only he’d gotten to her first.

Translations:

“Aeveris ābra.” = Vile woman.

“Skoro syt līs ao qrimbrōzagon issa sīr?” = Why must you curse me so?

“Nyke dōmrī daor naejot naevlor iksum. Olvie less ao.” = (in a VERY broken High Valyrian) I never meant to tempt anyone. Much less you.

Yeah, Aemond is kinda dumb when it comes to romance <3

[agathario]

7x7 ghost of a second chance is eddie meeting the buckleys but he holds his tongue for bucks sake

[a-flaming-idiot]

Eberwolf: "[Oh, your child is an honor student? Well so are mine. And MY honor students can beat your honor student in a fist fight AND beat their test scores!]" Eberwolf: "[And they both are gifted in magic most don't even practice!]" The poor witch who mentioned their kid: ... Eberwolf, getting dragged away by Darius: "[And another thing-]"

[bidamonalbarn]

theres something that happens to me when i listen to chappell roan out loud

[ask-cloverfield]

Kamen Rider Black is a darker reimagining of the original Kamen Rider which makes it a little amusing that the ending narration is considerably more hopeful than the original’s

[certifiedcomedianette]

excessive flirting

- "My, isn't it such a lovely day today? You know what else is lovelier? You being around me."

- "...."

- "Did you know two is better than one? Perhaps you'd like to be my other half?"

- "........"

- "one, two, three ... we were meant to be, four, five, six, seven .. Ah! Seven o'clock it is then. It's a date!"

- "....attends quoi..?"

I LIKE TO HEADCANON THAT BEFORE THEY BECAME A THING, GREGORY KEPT ON TRYING TO FLIRT/COMPLIMENT MOLE SO MOLE CAN FALL FOR HIM AND HE JUST ENDS UP CONFUSED 😍😍😍🤩

[fukurodani]

[chloesimaginationthings]

Why did William get FNAF springlocked? Is he stupid?

[doomed2repeat]

I feel like so many people get catered to with the bad boy archetype being everywhere in the media that they can not even imagine that some people think the sexiest thing a man can be for a woman is a down bad pathetic loser. Just weak and desperate. Colin Bridgerton was on his knees, tears in his eyes BEGGING for chance.

Less bad boys, more soft men, thank you.

[cryptocism]

"just as I did, in 1983."

you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable

[psychokatrixxxy]

Batfam AU

Damian was captured by some villain, and Dick just saved him.

Nightwing: Why didn't you send a distress signal? You could have gotten hurt. What if I didn't get here in time?

Robin: tt, stop your incessant nagging, Grayson. I can handle myself. Besides, I did send out a distress signal.

Nightwing: Really, cause I didn't get it, and neither did B.

Robin, realizing something: Ah, I believe I may have alerted someone else of my capture then...

Nightwing: who-

He's cut off as a red figure barrels through the window, shattering it.

Red Hood, guns cocked as he looks around the room: Who the fuck do I need to kill?

Robin, deadpan: Impeccable timing as always, Akhi.