#(he knows it is not healthy but *that* one in particular. the ED. is something he has only Ever *had* to do alone.)

[detectiveconnor]

the issue with having a second human verse where connor was in love with a guy who turned out to be a serial killer (whom Connor had charged & convicted, because he figured it out before any of his colleagues actually employed in the homicide area saw it) -- the issue with having this verse now is that he keeps handing me little snippets of their life together before he knew David was a killer. of their life together before David started killing people. of their life together when things were good and he loved him and believed him when he said “we”, and “us”. (the problem is that after the conviction, and moving to detroit, connor has tried several different therapists but hasn’t found a single one yet who has offered him the fact he is allowed to Grieve for something that he isn’t sure ever really existed. but it felt real.)

[junosmindpalace]

heyyy! can you do emotional/comfort senku x reader with an s/o that is a very rational person (like him) and is seen as a girlboss(?) and a confident person but they actually have body image issues and are trying to lose weight (like a s/o with an ed?) so he confronts them or smth. if this is triggering for you that's ok!! and sorry for my bad english 🥺<3

hello there anon! thank you for your request, and don't worry about your english! i hope i was able to properly portray these issues in this oneshot- feedback is absolutely welcome.

synopsis: your outward self-assured attitude doesn't fool senku.

warnings: mentions of ED's, self-doubt, please let me know if i should add anything more specific.

wc: almost 2k

Maybe you were dedicated to the “fake it till you make it” mindset.

Your schoolmates would describe you as the most put together person anyone will ever meet; level-headed and secure about everything, from your appearance to your grades. On the outside, everything about you exuded confidence; your outgoing and passionate personality, your bold appearance, even the way you carried yourself.

It’s not often that you complain, and because of this, others tend to forget that you’re human. They can’t think of any weaknesses or insecurities you may have, and aspire to have the confidence you do. You have an active social life, you’re smart, and you’re definitely not awful looking- what’s not to want? 

What your classmates also seem to forget is that confidence is not a personality trait. If you were being honest, it’s not even something you felt all that often.

On the inside, you battled insecurities that plagued your thoughts and led you to develop unhealthy habits. The insecurities were related to one struggle in particular that you found difficult to overcome- issues related to your body image. To you and to Senku Ishigami, one of your closest friends, your insecurity made you put on a big show for both those around you and yourself, forced you to work even harder and constantly present yourself in a likable manner.

Senku could understand wanting to look approachable and presentable, but he himself has never been meticulous about his appearance, so he couldn’t truly understand in full the insecurity that stemmed from it. Senku was never one to crave validation either, especially through his looks. As a man of logic, he can’t understand why anyone would follow through with assumptions and judgements about a person based on their appearance; the only way to truly know someone and to grow fond of them is through actions, is it not? He’s even heard you voice those exact thoughts. 

But regardless, he catches the subtleties in your manner. Typically turning down snack or food offers from your friends. Constantly making adjustments to your appearance throughout the day. Covering a certain feature on your face with a hand placement that's conveniently casual. All seemingly very small habits, but eventually growing to be more prominent due to their repetitiveness. 

Senku has observed from the time the two of you spend alone together that you let on a little bit more than you do with others. Your comments seem pretty harmless on the surface, maybe even commendable, but he knew that through the false sweetness in your voice there was an unhealthy fixation. “Just for health purposes!” you would insist. “There’s nothing wrong, I just want to look nice!” He also later takes note of body strain that seems to be connected to your overcrowded schedule, reserving a lot of your time in the evening to go to the gym. 

Senku’s eyebrows would furrow together and he’d let out an airy chuckle, tilting his head down to better observe your face, as if he were searching for something on it. “You always look nice.” he’d reply with a roll of his eyes. The same with “You’re ten billion percent healthy already.”

Senku already had a fair amount of scientific knowledge in medical areas even before he noticed your concerning habits, but he wanted to be thorough, and so he researched. He learned more about body dysmorphia, ED’s and a lot of weight and appearance related mental and physical health issues. As he delves deeper and deeper into his research, he notices through piles of resources that you share many of the habits described in articles and medical books. Senku wanted to encourage discussion about your insecurities because he could tell that your body image issues affected you more than they should, but he didn’t want to force anything and risk having you retreat more into your self-doubt and away from him. But one day while you were at his house, he found you staring a little too hard and too long at your reflection in his bedroom mirror. 

He could see your brows creased together and your lips twitching, playing with different smiles as if trying them out before they dropped to a frown. You didn’t need to say anything in order for Senku to take a good guess at what you were thinking- your actions spoke volume. He sat down in a chair beside his desk, turned it around to face you, and suddenly told you to spit everything out. Everything you were thinking, everything you were feeling. It came out surprisingly kind despite the firmness, and you held his hard gaze for a couple of seconds while reflecting on his words. You looked scared, whether it was because he caught you off guard or because you were afraid to share your thoughts, Senku couldn’t tell, but he had a feeling it was a mix of both. 

After a couple of moments of tense silence, you finally sighed, slouching as you sat down on the edge of Senku’s bed. “I look disgusting.” 

Not once while you talked did Senku’s attention shift elsewhere. He didn’t speak a word, but simply listened, absorbing what you told him. He listened the entire time you tried sorting through your jumbled thoughts and feelings, and could tell this was something you had been waiting to let out for a long, long time. Eventually, when your throat grew hoarse and you were too exhausted to continue trying to explain your complicated and conflicting feelings, all Senku replied with was “feel better?” and you didn’t know what else you’d expect, but whether your answer is yes or no, he thinks both are completely valid. 

You’re nervous after opening up to him- after all, covering this huge insecurity gave you your reputation in the first place and made you feel good about yourself, and having Senku see through your show of confidence had you worry how others perceived you. Maybe you didn’t cover up as well as you thought, and people viewed you the same way you viewed yourself. But this is Senku we’re talking about, and he’s hardly interested in contributing to gossip, especially about someone he’s close with. If anything, he wants to help how he can if you let him. 

He’d do his very best to get your mind off your intrusive thoughts and direct you to resources that could help in more depth. He helps with any lifestyle changes you may want to make, but makes sure you do them for the right reasons, helping you reframe your negative thoughts. He’d tell you all sorts of cool body facts; about your internal organs, how your body could glow- things to get your mind off your appearance and more on how extraordinary the human body actually is and how much it does for you.

You find Senku’s efforts and thoughtfulness extremely heartwarming, two big reasons why you slowly became more encouraged to unlearn bad habits and a harsh mentality as time went on. Though there were many hardships along your healing journey, Senku could somehow always manage to pull you out from your rotten daydreams with a fun science fact. 

[cbrownjc]

I think fans got that "hates Lestat" thing from the overall way ep5 was handled and then the resulting "yeah Lestat needs to go through a redemption arc after this" opinions from Sam, since in the first book afaik Lestat IS horrible, but he never did something like this to Louis. As for Armand/Louis, I've mainly seen people ship them more for the aesthetic of it, at least when you don't know the full context of Armand and his backstory and then romance with Louis, and you only base it on the current scenes. Since technically, Armand doesn't LOOK worse or just as bad as Lestat from what we've seen, the weirdest thing about him is putting on the role for Rashid for Louis. And for fans that like Louis as the character we have seen so far on the show (but not one that we've seen everything that's fully true about), I can understand people preferring Armand from everything so far in comparison to Lestat. But after the changes with Lestat I'm not sure if they'll technically make Armand any better on the show, especially with what we've seen of him in the present and how his relationship with Louis looks now.

Hey Anon,

I understand some people were hurt by EP5, but people gotta stop thinking it had anything to do with how any of the showrunners personally feel about the characters IMO. It was a choice made to set up a character arc, rightly or wrongly, and that's really it.

The staff writers have made it clear before this that Season 3 is the season Rolin especially wants to get to. Which we now know from his own mouth that will be The Vampire Lestat season if it happens. And they have still made Louis and Lestat (especially Lestat) more overtly romantic, and Lestat way more romantic towards Louis more than the first book ever did, before and after EP5. Even the very way in which Lestat turned Louis is way more sympathetic and romantic than in the book or the 1994 movie.

People can dislike the man for the choices made for EP5, and that's fine. (And he didn't even write that episode.) But that doesn't change some of the more sympathetic choices made wrt Lestat's character as opposed to the books either, IMO.

IDK. As I said after EP5 aired, maybe I feel the way I do because I know even in the later books, when Lestat is supposedly more sympathetic, he still does a lot of heinous shit too. And yet, I still enjoyed reading about his character even after that stuff.

I don't, and never have, looked toward Anne Rice's vampire chronicles characters for ethical, moral, or even just healthy choices. Lestat has character growth over the course of the series, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. But none of the characters in this story are ever morally better than others, Not even Louis (for all he acts like he is.)

All the characters in this are all f-ed up and toxic, just in various different ways and degrees. It just depends on how much f-ed up-ness and toxicity you are willing to take wrt a particular character when it comes down to it, IMO.

Which brings me to Armand. I mean, if people are shipping him and Louis mostly for the aesthetic, as you say, then okay, they can do them, I guess. I just hope they are okay with that aesthetic being the main reason why after the revelation of what Armand's true character is like (at this point in the story). Because if they haven't read the books, then aesthetic really is the only thing they can go by since they have zero idea what Armand's true character is or is really like.

Rashid was a performance. Not Armand's true character.

And I honestly think Armand, and what happens in Paris, will be worse than what happened in the book, if that's possible. (It’s something I’ve been saying even before the Armand reveal.) And not just because of what they had Lestat do that was unsympathetic on the show. But because I don't think the show is trying, in any way, to portray vampires as really being - in any way - moral or ethical creatures. Quite the opposite, really.

And especially when it comes to the vampires who are outside Louis, Lestat, and Claudia's little family bubble.

The show is leaning into the Horror part of this story just as much as it is the Gothic part. And Armand does some heinous shit in this story (and is a much better manipulator, given his spell and mind gifts), which I do not think the show will soften at all. They really have zero reasons to.

[idrawgaystffs]

GLaDOS thinks it’s time to buy an apartment, kinda

Modern AU? Of @bondibee & @sarcasticgaypotato ’s Portal Necromancer AU, particularly to bridge the gap of Middle Ages to GLaDOS Is On YouTube uhh enjoy?

[Note: I’m not a contributor to the canon of the AU and all of my add ons can be OOC or use speculations, thank you!]

“Dear?” Chell turned swiftly to catch her lover’s eyes.

They’d been in the throne room and idling for what felt like an hour before the silence had been broken. This was normal, as GLaDOS would often find ways to fill the room with something else to pass the time other than conversation, and Chell didn’t have “big talker” added to her nature after she’d been revived either. But now she was looking at GLaDOS and listening.

“Have you ever thought we should leave the castle?” GLaDOS’s voice rang clear and with confidence. Though Chell knew the question’s weight was hidden behind her perfect tone. The unknown always was a touchy subject when you’re married to what might be the largest collection of knowledge over the past thousands of years.

Chell hmm-ed. Not in a way signifying agreement or disagreement, but just thought. Because she was thinking about that. How long had it been since she had gone outside? The start of her second life gave her a distaste for the sun and a more nocturnal lifestyle anyways, so she had grown attached to the colder and darker areas of the castle, of course she had regained more sense after GLaDOS and her figured out a schedule that would keep her sane and healthy, so she visited her wife more and more often without the promise of food. But she still did wonder. What was going on out there?

“Did a trespasser say something to make you think about it?” She decided to prod out GLaDOS’s feelings on the matter, why the elf even bothered hiding her thoughts from her knight was rather pointless. They were open books to each other.

“No.” GLaDOS’s tone fell a degree noticeable only to Chell.

“No?” Chell repeated knowingly.

“Maybe Someone Couldn’t Stop Mentioning How ‘This Castle Is So Dusty Does Anyone Even Live Here?’ or ‘I Feel Like The Walls Are Gonna Fall On Me!’ because Then Maybe! I Did Put A Spell On The Walls To Crush Him To Death?! Okay!”

Ah there was her temperamental sweetheart.

“At first I only regretted putting hearing enchantments around the castle because all I’d hear was the random rat in our walls or those two bucket heads clanking down hallways.”

Chell cracked a smile at the mention of the haunted armors, she should visit them later.

“But that Intrusive Fly’s last words had made me think of the last time I remodeled this place.”

Chell perked up at the premise of story time. It wasnt often GLaDOS spoke of times before Chell arrived and, in fact, preferred using either Chell’s arrival or the present as a relative date when referring to her ongoing projects. So she did what she did best and took in what GLaDOS had to say.

“I used to be in a smaller castle than this one. Less adventurers took notice of it and it was easier to maintain while I still practiced magic and it’s uses. Over time, of course, I gained my reputation of being a ‘place of no return’ and a ‘great evil to be vanquished’ and more pests came to bother me. After one particular wave, I had been face to face with an adventurer and I heard him say ‘I did not know such an old fort even existed’ that was the first and last thing he said to me. I decided to remodel the place after that! After all it was less that worm’s words and how I didn’t want another professional ‘hero’ to get into my main chamber. I hadn’t realized just how much time had passed since I had settled down here, so I made new traps, built new walls and was far safer in this territory. And yet, a hundred or so years later, you managed to get here. And you know the rest.” GLaDOS finished her spell and Chell was released to think once more.

Chell hmm-ed again but this time as a show of affection towards the praise. She knew how witty and smart she was to make it through her tests. But the information about there being an predecessor to this castle had stuck in her mind.

So Glados did like to change her living space sometime in her life, but no mortal would live long enough to see the whole life of her moves though so it didn’t cross her mind before she arrived herself.

“You want to change the castle again?” Chell asked.

“No, that’s not what I want.”

“What then?”

“I- I want to know more about what’s going on in the rest of the world. The last few maggots had armor that looked different from how yours looked. Their uniforms were stitched evenly and yet their boots looked like they didn’t fit their feet. I’d never even seen this pattern of clothing, Chell! I want to find out how it’s made and what kind of sorcery people have been making out there if this is where they’ve gotten with just simple textiles!”

Chell was rather surprised at how the topic has blossomed. Glados spoke with vigor that was reserved for science and herself.

“I don’t want to just remodel this place. I know it’s our home, but we’ve stuck around long enough to outlive generations. Time is passing and I think we need to catch up a little!”

Chell stood there, in her 1000 times washed tunic and equally worn pants and felt out of place all of a sudden. From what? She did not know. In this place, in their home, she belonged. A wonder about the outside didn’t mean a desire to leave her comforts. She had only recently, well it felt recent to her, gotten used to being undead, and a blood sucking one at that.

She gave Glados a worried look.

Glados immediately slowed down and grew mellower in tone. “Oh but of course I do care about everything that is here. My snakes, my lab, Blue and Orange, You! But I just need you, and I can go anywhere. We can take whatever we need with us till we find a place to settle down for the Next millennia.” Ending on a sarcastic note to help lighten Chell’s mood.

And it worked. Chell smiled, “Okay.”

Glados lit up again! She knew they’d need time to prepare, but a journey was about to begin. Plus, Chell enjoyed a good challenge.

[feastingmaggots]

momentary bliss : ch. 5

TW; MAJOR ED MENTIONS

You know, he never did answer Stan’s question.

‘Have you been eating??’

And did it worry him? Yes. It did. A lot; actually.

He cared about his boyfriend so much more than he did about himself, and just the thought of him suffering like that internally killed him.

And he thought.

‘You know, maybe Kyle feels the same way about me.’

But he didn’t care. He didn’t matter as much as Kyle did.

Meanwhile, Kyle was busy in his head; counting and tracking his calories throughout the entire day. He made sure to eat breakfast, but skip lunch and dinner as to even out his calorie intake.

To make himself proud, he would wrap his pinky and thumb around his wrist and smile when they touched. The feeling of his stomach applauding him was better than any food tasted. He couldn’t explain it in words.

Seeing himself become thinner and thinner overtime boosted his own confidence by a million; Being able to see his own ribcage was satisfying in the oddest way possible. He couldn’t explain the euphoria he experienced whenever he lost weight.

It was such a delightful feeling. Yet he couldn’t share it with anybody.

Not even Stan. He would be too worried.

Nobody knew that his own way of eating wasn’t ‘unhealthy’, it was just.. different. Some would say he was sick in the head, others would say he had an eating disorder.

But Kyle said, it’s just dieting!

He’d always been a fairly skinny guy, he was never picked on for being overweight in any way shape or form, but it was just for his own personal image.

Also, it made him feel in control of at least one thing in his life.

He’d lost control of his intrusive thoughts, his temper, and basically his whole life. This style of control he had over himself helped him balance out the fact he didn’t feel as though he was in charge of anything in particular.

Nothing tasted as good as hunger felt.

He would wake up, examine his figure in the mirror, brush his teeth, go downstairs and skip breakfast. His excuse for doing so was that in the morning he was nauseous and food just made it worse.

Then he’d walk to school. Not without almost passing out at least twice though. The lack of nutrients and energy in his body wasn’t exactly the most healthy thing to live with; especially with how active he usually was.

When he was at school, he never ate. Never touched- never even looked at food. That was his rule. Don’t eat at school. No matter how hungry, no matter how tempted he was; Don’t.

Even when people came to check up on him.

‘Hey, I’ve noticed you don’t really eat a lot.. Are you doing alright?’

‘Do you need me to bring you something to eat?’

‘You feelin’ okay?’

Yes, no, yes.

These two answers were ones that he got used to repeatedly saying due the people asking him about it. Nobody needed to know. Nobody besides himself.

(nobody needs to know)

Then, he’d arrive home. His stomach screaming at him for something like always; but the screams were ignored. His body was a neglected crying child, and he was the parent.

His temptations almost took over some of the times, but he would just pinch himself in hopes of shooing them away.

(get out of my head)

(im finally in control of something for once and youre taking it away from me)

Sheila would make dinner. She would offer, Kyle would refuse. She would insist, he gave in. He asked to be excused, she excused him. She thinks he’s going to bed, he threw up all of the food out of his body and into the porcelain toilet bowl.

He would then proceed to lay down in his bed, curled up in the fetal position as he hugged his stomach. The growling went on and on for what seemed like hours before it finally subsided, leaving him with a mild feeling of bliss in how empty he felt.

His phone buzzed, but he didn’t hear it. He payed no attention to it. His attention was instead on the sound of cicadas outside his window. He rolled over to stare at the ceiling, his brain fuzzy as he began to grind his teeth together anxiously. Millions of thoughts raced in his brain yet he couldn’t seem to pinpoint even one.

Something that helped him was chewing gum. He would chew and chew and chew until it became the illusion of food. He would trick his mind into thinking he wasn’t hungry since he was just chewing something!

Gum was also handy because it had zero calories. He would chew gum for hours and hours until it lost all the flavor, and it just felt as though he was chewing rubber; and then he would chug ice cold water.

The cold water seeped down his throat, giving him a nice feeling from the lack of things he’d been swallowing recently..

…

[basicsofislam]

ISLAM 101: Muslim Culture and Character: Morals And Manners: Part 17

MODESTY, SHYNESS, AND FEELING ASHAMED OF WRONG ACTS

Haya, an instinctive feeling of shame combined with the modesty based on Islam, forms the greatest safeguard against shameful or indecent behavior.

Prophet Muhammad, (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Every religion has a moral code. And the moral code of Islam is haya,” thereby emphasizing the importance of this feeling in the life of a Muslim. The following hadith also explains this crucial characteristic. ‘Abdullah ibn Umar reported that the Prophet came upon a man who advised his brother not to be too shy. The Prophet said, “Stop; haya comes from faith.” Another hadith says,

“Faith has seventy rays. The highest degree is to say La ilaha illallah, (“There is no deity other than God”) and the least degree is to remove something harmful from the road. And haya is one portion of faith.” This hadith was explained by Ibn al-Athir thus:

“Despite the fact that it is an inborn natural feeling, haya can also be gained and developed with practice. Haya keeps one away from sins; it comes between a person and their sins. This means it has a function in a person’s faith. The hadith mentions that it is ‘one portion of faith.’ Faith includes the action of following God’s commands and avoiding that which He has forbidden. Thus, when haya causes a person to avoid sins, it becomes like a portion of faith.”26

Haya demands awareness of God’s Presence and thus the practicing of self-control or self-supervision. According to a narration of Ibn Mas’ud, the Prophet said, “Be fully conscious of God, as God requires you to be.” When someone asked,  “O  God’s  Messenger!  How  does God require us to be conscious?” He answered, “Whoever protects his head and what is in it, his stomach and the organs attached to it, whoever is not attracted to the ornaments of the world, and does not forget that death and decay follow has the haya that God requires.”

To “protect the head” in this sense means to use the brain and its power to think in positive ways. The other organs should also be “protected” by avoiding forbidden things, not eating prohibit- ed foods, and not telling lies or using unpleasant words. The “organs connected to the stomach” are the sex organs, which must be protected by avoiding extramarital sexual contact. Thinking more broadly, hands and feet can also be seen as being “connected to the stomach.” So it can be said that the hadith teaches us to keep our hands, arms, feet, and so on from committing sins. This is the meaning of “shyness,” or haya, in the sense God requires.

The feeling originating from the faith which we refer to here must be distinguished from other characteristics that make a person timid, passive, or unwilling to step forward to fulfill their responsibilities. For example, it is not good for women to hang back out of “shyness” when it comes to education. If they do not have the opportunity to learn from other women, they should not hesitate to ask a man who is considered knowledgeable in religious matters or in other areas. Indeed, if there is a religious question they need to know and they do not ask a man out of “shyness,” it will cause them to fail to accomplish their religious duties correctly.

Our Prophet personally answered the particular questions of women and also had his wife Aisha teach them in his place. Aisha had these notable words to say about women who showed no shame in seeking religious knowledge: “What good women the Ansar women were. Their bashfulness did not prevent them from learning their religion well.”

One who wishes to be granted felicity in this world and the next must strive to have adab and haya. A person who has a sense of haya fears to do wrong not only where other people can see them, but also when they are alone. Such a person has a healthy

spirit and a peaceful conscience. We can recognize them by their geniality, their humility, and their trustworthiness.

Qurra ibn Iyas said, “We were together with the Prophet. Someone spoke of haya: ‘O God’s Messenger, is haya part of religion?’ they asked. The Prophet’s answer was, ‘Haya is the completion of religion. Without a doubt haya, curbing the tongue, and chastity all arise from faith. These increase a person’s rewards in the next life and lessen the desire for the things of this world. But that which is given in the next life is greater than that which is lessened in this world.’”

A person with haya does not have faults like lying, cheating, being dishonest, stealing, bribing others, holding a grudge, or slandering others. When someone loses the veil of haya, they no longer fear the wrath of God or feel shame about such things as stealing from the poor; such a person would not even be moved by the tears of the victims of hunger or disaster.

Haya indicates the strength of a person’s faith and their level of adab. Haya is the foundation of goodness and the basic element of every type of good. It is a barricade against sins that can destroy the heart. God Almighty says in the Qur’an,

Say, “My Lord has made unlawful only indecent, shameful deeds (like fornication, adultery, prostitution, and homosexuality), whether those of them that are apparent and committed openly or those that are committed secretly; and any act explicitly sinful;  and insolence and offenses (against the Religion, life, personal property, others’ chastity, and mental and bodily health), which is openly unjustified; and (it is also forbidden) that you associate partners with God for which He has sent no authority at all, and that you speak against God the  things about which you have no sure knowledge. (A’raf 7:33)

In short, a Muslim should be extremely cautious in thoughts and acts, always guarding their tongue against speaking wrongly, their eyes from looking at that which is prohibited, their ears from listening to the private conversations of others, and all their limbs from committing wrong acts.

[justanotherghostwriter]

I'm sending you so many fic titles. You don't have to do all of them if you don't want to. I got them from what my sister and i would have Sims title books they were writing. | (Call Me Innocent) (Walk Softly) (The Benefits of Screaming) (Ghosts I Have Loved) (And the Shadows Wept) (The Stars are Different Here) (Her Name Still Echoes) (Honest Creatures) (Wooden House, Paper Unicorn) (Though All to Ruin Fell the World) (The Echo or the Answer) (Above Us, Only Stars)

Firstly: sorry I answered this so late. Life came and ate me when I thought I'd have time. Go figure.

Secondly: I'm so happy to see that somebody else thought about what to title their books in Sims. I had a list, too. In one game, I had three generations of writers, and they kept writing new books "for the same series". Obviously, the game didn't care, but I had such a fun time seeing them all in the book store xD

Thirdly: Thank you for answering this! <3 And, in particular, answering with so many great titles to chew over. This was a fun mental exercise. I'm still throwing metaphorical salt in a circle around all of this so these silly ideas don't become less silly. I'll need to live another lifetime to finish all the fic on my To Do list, at this point.

Now, onto the actual answers!

Call Me Innocent. Probably something that starts with/includes the Buddy Wakefield poem "We Were Emergencies". I know that thing off-by-heart. In particular: "Make love to me, like you know I am better than the worst thing I ever did." So... Animorphs post-war? Like many years post-war and Cassie and Jake get that second chance. Orrrr Roy and Riza after the events of canon trying to put the world back together, with a healthy side-helping of Ed, whose guilt tendencies didn't just go away after defeating Father. Shocking, I know.

Walk Softly Agent Carter fic. A fix-it for Endgame. It will be Peggysous. There will be Daniel and Jack bromance. And Daniel and Steve bromance. This is all.

The Benefits of Screaming Avatar the Last Airbender. Azula gets love, therapy and a life-changing field-trip with Zuko (and Katara). I don't know the particulars, but I think it would sort of be a community service combined with going out to see the world through new eyes sort of fic. Just letting Azula lose control in safe ways. By that I mean go penguin sledding or run through a field of flowers for no reason. And Zuko and Katara, despite being Fire Lord and Ambassador to the Water Tribe and totally responsible adults, would also have moments of just being able to be kids. Lots of both Zuko and Azula apologising to one another, and starting from scratch to build a proper relationship.

Ghosts I Have Loved An Everlark fic. I'm thinking about Peeta and Katniss more often than even I realise, I think. And, although it's been done a thousand times by very talented people, I want a fic in that space between Peeta coming back to once-Twelve and the epilogue. Possibly even beyond it. I'll always want to go to war with "I didn't want kids but Peeta really did so we had kids I hated it but you know" because it bugs me. It would include Katniss and Haymich and Annie and some other survivors, but would be mainly focused on Peeta as he grieves all the people he lost and how complicated it is. His whole family was wiped out. One of those family members was canonically at least a little abusive. He lost friends. He lost who he once was. He lost the (fake, impossible) ideal of Katniss in his head; his first love, if you will. So it would just be a slice-of-life of Peeta observing and internally commenting and also stepping in to help where he sees he can, with this motif of all the love haunting him. And how he figures out how to let each "ghost pass on", so to speak. While also watching other people around him do the same. Johanna and Peeta friendship, because they rock.

And the Shadows Wept This is such a cool title, but I couldn't think of anything proper to go with it. Only half-baked ideas. And I didn't want to delay this answer for too long wracking my brain for a fic that won't ever exist lol. So I take the L for this one.

The Stars are Different Here Going back to the second fandom I wrote for here on Tumblr for this one. Doctor Who. More Metacrisis and Rose. For the record, in case anybody cares, there will be no calling him John. Or thinking that naming him is like naming a dog. (If you know, you know.) Just the two of them having ordinary adventures. And some not-so-ordinary ones. They're still the Doctor and Rose Tyler, and they have an earth (or two) to defend. Maybe even start with Rose's adventures with that dimension canon, because that's some good untapped writing potential right there.

Her Name Still Echoes Also Doctor Who! All the places people still find Bad Wolf, and variations thereof, throughout time and space. I'd have to actually catch up with things for this, I think, which would take a while (I think I stopped actively watching around season 7 or 8 and just read Wikipedia since then lol). But just letting Rose's desire to keep the Doctor safe be OP across their lives. And, because I'm me, I'd bring in the origins of the Big Bad Wolf and probably seven references to Red Riding Hood and/or The Three Little Pigs. Possibly even a tie-in to number 6, and all the ways the Bad Wolf echoes in all the places Rose jumped with that canon. (Rose and River bff-ship is a strong need for me tbh.)

Honest Creatures I'm forever dying to poke at the Scott and Rachel father-son dynamic. Or even Scott and Laura Kinney. Friendship/adopted dad only; I don't want to think about the direction the comics took with Displaced Scott and Laura, thank you. Either in canon-verse (whatever the heck that means, any more lmao) or trying to do some clean-up with the way Scott was written as he went off the rails... but not really. Anyway. Complexities of Scott Summers, screwed-up leader and oblivious collector of children he adopts.

Wooden House, Paper Unicorn Since this is all hypothetical and I don't ever need to actually write this, this one would be used for a Firefly/Serenity fic. Simon gets captured and thrown into prison on an Alliance prison ship. While there, he starts to doctor the other prisoners. His skill becomes known by the guards. And he gets pulled out to help an Alliance girl's emergency when her parents frantically hail for help from their ship/planet. Only oooooh the Alliance people have guests for their little vacation out in space, and two of those guests are Mr and Mrs Tam. Who have, according to their official records, never had kids. The drama. The Simon Sass. More drama when Serenity tracks Simon down... No, I haven't actually thought of this concept a hundred times in my head, why do you ask? Yes, there would be Simon whump. I'm basic, and you should expect nothing better from me.

Though All to Ruin Fell the World Zutara in an AU where either the war didn't end so nicely, or where winning the war didn't magically fix everything. I'd probably re-use concepts from Battles After War. Try and do something similar to MJ's stunning Ghosts Through The Smoke, but even more hopeless. Fire Nation leveled to nothing hopeless. Zuko failed as a Fire Lord/was never allowed to take the throne hopeless. Or, like, Zuko chooses the Gaang in Ba Sing Se, but Aang still dies and Katara doesn't know she saved him and she and Zuko get split from the others and go into Survival Mode kind of hopeless. Anyway, you get the picture. The world fell to ruin, somehow. :P And, yet, Zuko and Katara protect each other and fall in love. Although it takes a long time for them to be able to call it that. Maybe it will even be a little tragic; they are never able to let love grow past a certain point, because there's just too much to do. And they end up dying as soldiers who help the world limp towards a bright future. But never together.

The Echo or the Answer Okay, but the way I love this as a title? I know it's become slightly... not pretentious, but over-used, but... I will lean into the connotations if I can ever find a thing worthy of this title. I know this isn't an answer, but I couldn't think of anything that I want to "waste" this good title on lmao.

Above Us, Only Stars Animorphs, my beloved. Again, since this is hypothetical, and I never need to actually have the skill to write any of these fic: this one would be a role-reversal where the auxes got the morphing power first. But the OG six get pulled into the war by James and his team, because the Powers That Be nudge James toward Tobias, Elfangor's son. Who has been having strange dreams of the ocean shared with Cassie, even though neither of them know why. I'd be fascinated to see the OG six as team B under James' leadership. I'd not know how to write this fic, but I'd love to read it xD

SEND ME A MADE-UP FIC TITLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WOULD WRITE TO GO WITH IT.

[thetriggeredhappy]

(tw: ed) i want to say from the beginning that you don't have to read this at all but i recently read "chosen or otherwise deserves..." and it struck a chord with me. you're an excellent writer and really got deep into the matter without it being too much. the way that you've written sniper has always made me point and go "he's just like me!"

there were a few moments in there that reminded me a lot of when i was trying to recover from an ed on my own because i had tried my damned hardest to not let anyone find out during more intense cycles. the focus on him eating a meal (or consistently snacking) at least once a day in particular really spoke to me. if you don't mind me asking: was that implication intentional or was it something you hadn't really thought about? or do you not remember because that's totally understandable lol

um, thank you so much if you do respond to this. it's a lot of explanation for a simple question because i'm tired and got worried about commenting on the actual fic

(thanks for tossing the e.d. trigger warning up there, i’m gonna add a few more to my response here: warnings for discussion of depression, anxiety, self-destructive behaviors, etc etc)

short answer: yes

long answer: when i write characters, in particular from their point of view, and further in particular when that fic focuses on mental health and emotional well-being, consider a healthy 95% of what i write vis-a-vis symptoms and behaviors to be intentional. not to talk too much about my factual personal life (which i don’t enjoy doing even on good days, i’m a very private person by nature), but comorbitity is my middle name, and what little i don’t write from personal experience, i write from the experience of having others around me who are willing to openly discuss the day-to-day of living with debilitating emotional states. the very few times i receive a comment or feedback about a symptom i’ve written that i didn’t intend, it’s usually because i’d assumed that the symptom was a fact of life, or a side-effect of being (insert facet of self-identity that i possess). in that way, comments like this one can sometimes be pretty enlightening for me, or for other people, and i appreciate them a lot—sometimes it’s like… a version of me, many years ago, when that symptom was more prominent in my life, was noticed. like someone saw it, and acknowledged it. i think it would’ve been good for me, and it makes me feel better to know that other people get to feel noticed and acknowledged when they read about it.

(in this case, i absolutely knew this was an e.d. sort of problem already—my relationship with food has been complicated for the majority of my life, by now, even if i’m getting there, slowly but surely. it helps that i’m a pretty good cook thanks to perfectionism, and live with people who enjoy being cooked for.)

i really need to update “chosen or otherwise” at some point. i keep meaning to, every few months i’ve started drafting another chapter for it, but there’s other things on my list too that are being pretty distracting. it definitely doesn’t feel finished, as it is.

[elysianslove]

hi sal! i recently found your account and i'm so in love with your work! i seriously went through all of provided content in one day lol.

(not sure if this was requested but) i was wondering if it would be possible for you to write reactions of jujutsu kaisen characters to their s/o (or someone dear/close to them) having a hard time eating (not necessarily a full-blown ed but some disordered eating habits)?

if you are not comfortable with it/don't write this sort of stuff or simply don't want to, it's completely fine! but if you decide to do it, then i'm leaving to you to decide which characters you would like to do.

thank you in advance! 💛

hi baby!! thank you so much i’m so glad you enjoy my work 🥺and don’t worry, i don’t mind writing topics like these. i struggle a lot with food, not for any particular reason, i just have terrible habits, so this was nice to see in my inbox. i only did three characters, but if you’d like more, let me know! 

i do wanna put a Trigger Warning, though, that even though this isn’t a full blown eating disorder, it still can trigger some. they’re small headcanons, but please be careful if you choose to read this! i’ll put it beneath the cut just in case! <3

fushiguro megumi; megumi is crazy perceptive, it’s honestly a little scary. he would pick up on your habits and the little patterns pretty early on, but i think he’d be a little too worried to approach you about it, most likely because he doesn’t want it to seem like he’s overthinking or reaching. he starts to hyper focus, watching what happens when you go out to eat, when he asks you if you’ve eaten all day, when he asks you if you’re hungry. when he does notice that something really is off, he starts to feel a little guilty, for not recognizing it sooner, for not being able to take care of his significant other. is very kind about it, and very subtle too. asks you to share a meal with him, so you don’t feel overwhelmed with the amount of food, gives you small snacks like fruits, maybe some biscuits or pretzels, and makes sure you balance it out with water. he won’t ever approach you about it directly unless it starts becoming a little too dangerous of a habit for his liking, but until then, he encourages and motivates you in his own way. but he remains hyperaware of you from then on, and builds the habit of constantly checking in you in regards to eating. i think megumi would also be the type to turn to research, and the research might really scare him into one day freaking out over you and just yelling at you begging you to eat. he just wants you to always be healthy, and he tries to make sure of it in every way. 

itadori yuuji; not as perceptive as megumi, but definitely picks up on it really quickly. different from the boy above, he does approach you about it, over time, in intervals. every time you decline to eat, every time you tell him you’ve forgotten to eat all day, every time you skip meals, every time you binge at night, he asks you about it. at first, he doesn’t think much of it. it’s normal to occasionally have your appetite fluctuate, and it happens for different reasons for different people. but when he finds it a repetitive habit, he starts to get really concerned, and he’s unafraid to show it too. he asks you, “what do you mean you haven’t eaten yet? it’s 9 pm,” with the saddest, most confused face ever. he doesn’t understand it much, but that doesn’t lessen of his worry at all, in any way. to help, he makes you a lot of home cooked meals, in hopes that it’s slightly more appealing. he calls you when you first wake up and asks you to go to breakfast with him, encouraging you to order anything small. he comes over in the middle of the day with some bento. he asks to share tea and a small snack before you go to bed. he definitely considers just forcing you to eat so much, as if it could possibly make up for the past missed meals, but he realizes just how much this could backfire. he’s really gentle with it, with you. he becomes your personal alarm if you have a habit of losing track of time and not eating for hours, and if you call him complaining about how hungry you are despite the fact that it’s nearly 4 in the morning, he tells you the recipe of a light meal on the phone, something that wouldn’t upset your stomach, leave you too full for breakfast the next morning. like i said, very kind about it. 

gojō satoru; he’d immediately notice and pick up on your habits. and he scolds you for it, jokingly, trying to hint at it lightly, but i actually think he’d be as subtle as megumi, if not even more, when it comes to helping you. he takes you out to eat often, even if you’re just strolling around food stands, and if you decline his offer to let him buy you something, he’ll simply shrug and say, “okay, have fun watching me eat then,” but then he goes ahead and buys so much for himself, and makes you try a little bit of everything that it’s almost as if he’s tricking you into eating a full portion by yourself. it’s not against your will or anything, he just makes it very appealing for you. he’s honestly very understanding about it as a whole, and is very open minded. he will approach you eventually though, sit you down and tell you he needs you to talk to him, and if it’s so bad that you don’t even realize your habits, he’ll make them clear for you, and tell you he wants to make it better for you, wants you to take better care of yourself. but like i said, he’s very understanding, so if you really don’t have much of an appetite, he won’t make you eat, but he’ll buy a drink, like some juice, a milkshake, anything that energizes you and gives you some sort of nutrients. if you’re working, he’s there by your side feeding you tiny pieces of fruit. he just does his best to make it that you’re healthy without making you too uncomfortable. 

[flamingo-writes]

Request: "Johnny comforting/supporting an s/o recovering from an eating disorder"

A/N: Ok, this request hit a particular nerve in me as, I struggled with an ED in high school. Its awful, and the recovery is painfully slow and sometimes it feels like you'll never fully recover. But things do get better and over time it gets easier 💙

Warnings: mentions of eating disorders, body dysmorphia,

Ok, first of all, Johnny understands better than anyone what it's like to feel uncomfortably by your own body. He's had insecurities too, he knows what it's like.

Don't feel shy or scared to open up with him. He'll understand and will hear you and comfort you.

Starting with the fact that you're his S/O, he'll ALWAYS remind you how much you mean to him and how beautiful and gorgeous you are, regardless of the self esteem issues attached to your situation.

Knowing you struggle with your appearance will only encourage him to do it more.

Will hurt anyone who dares to do or say something that makes you feel self aware and uncomfortable. Especially if they do or say something you find triggering.

Johnny likes cooking, he'll cook constantly. He knows your relationship with food is complicated, but won't force you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. He'll make nice and healthy meals, and if you decide not to eat a lot of it, he can respect that.

But if he notices you're completely avoiding eating or skipping meals, he'll talk to you. As long as you eat, is good for him. He understands some days it might be hard to finish a full plate.

If he sees you're going through a mental break down, he'll hold you tightly and help you through it.

He is the first one to notice when you're feeling tired or off, he's that observant.

During difficult days, he's particularly reassuring and is always by you side, ready to help you with anything and everything if you want to.

He loves you, and just wants the best for you. Seeing you getting better and happy is what he strives for.

He knows its hard and it's along way to go, but he's also the first one to remind you how far you've come so far.

He is the most proud of you.

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Together

Jihoon: Chapter 1 (Perfect)

Characters: Jihoon x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, smut, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide, runaways, domestic violence, child abuse, abandonment, homelessness, hunger, violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: I recommend listening to Perfect by Ed Sheeran before reading this. That’s the song I thought of while writing this because it makes me feel some type of way you know?

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Together Master List

Chapter 1: Perfect

It had been so long since you’d been around so many people. It made you antsy. You didn’t understand a lot of what was going on in the house. The constant noise scared you. It had you on such an edge that you nearly screamed everytime one of them coughed.

To be fair, before you had met them, you’d honestly jump at footsteps. Because footsteps meant humans, and humans meant danger. Not to mention that you were still not used to being in your human form. You preferred to stay a wolf, you were stronger when you walked on all four legs, and you weren’t as noticeable.

Your human appearance was… striking to most people to say the least. Your bright eyes and darker skin with salt and pepper curly hair made everyone around you always stare at you. You understood it somewhat, you didn’t match everyone else’s looks in Korea. But that didn’t mean you liked people watching you all the time, you hated being the center of attention. So to say you were still adjusting to being around people after having lived alone for centuries was a bit of an understatement. It was all so new to you. You had a new feeling now too. You just weren’t sure what it was…

At first, you thought maybe it was hope. You hadn’t hoped in such a long time, it would bring tears to even the most hardened criminal’s eyes. But you weren’t that good at trusting that human part of you. So you decided to go off of what you knew. And, even though you hadn’t been there long, two weeks at the most you thought, you learned a lot of things about them. You knew all but one of the wolves had a mate. You knew that two of the alphas butted heads on how to lead the pack a lot and that one just watched from the side and did everything behind the scenes without causing too much distress to the others. You knew they all loved each other, no matter what they said or how much they fought. You also knew that, being around them made you feel more alone than you’ve felt in decades.

When you were younger, you didn’t mind being alone. It meant that you didn’t have to rely on anyone, it meant you only had to look out for yourself. And as you got older, it just felt… right. But being around this house full to the brim with people, you started to realize just how much you missed being part of a big family. They treated you like you were one of them. Which was weird to you… because they didn’t really know you. I mean sure they saved you from imminent death, but they didn’t know you from Adam.

The more you thought about your current situation, the weirder the feeling got. The closer you got to each one of them, the stronger the feeling got. And when you got close to one of the quiet ones in particular, you swore it felt like your heart was singing to you. It was something you weren’t sure you’d ever get used to, but it wasn’t something you necessarily hated either. Whatever the feeling was, you’d figure it out eventually or it would go away on its own… right?

Still, You got to eat first with the other mates, well the mates minus Soonyoung. He may have been Seungcheol’s mate but 1.) he was a wolf unlike the other mates and 2.) he was a male wolf so he ate just as much as the other boys did. So they didn’t think it fair that he get to eat with all of you. Or them…. Or-whatever. You didn’t know, you just knew they offered you and the other girls food first and, considering you used to have to hunt for your food or you didn’t get to eat, you were definitely NOT complaining. Soonyoung though, you learned, had a tendency to whine about any and everything that he didn’t like.

“Aww come on again! No fair! (Y/N)’s just as much of a wolf as I am! Why does SHE get to eat first when I don’t??” Soonyoung decided to voice aloud, grabbing his plate with both hands and semi-patiently waiting for his turn to grab food.

You didn’t mind of course. You did think he had a point. It didn’t seem fair to him. Either he should be eating with the other mates, or you should be eating with the other wolves. So you agreed.

“He’s got a point. I should be eating with the other wolves. I eat more than the other girls after all” you shrugged matter of factly to the lead alpha, who was also his mate, who was hunched over the stove making said breakfast.

The thing is, Seungcheol did understand the argument. And he personally saw merit to the concerns, whether it was because it was a genuine point or whether it was just from months of his mate complaining about it, he didn’t know. Still, he saw it’s reasonings and thought they could be sound.

BUUUT, he also knew that SOMEBODY would definitely NOT be happy if you had to wait and fight the boys for food. It seemed everyone, wolves and mates alike, but you understood that Jihoon had imprinted on you already. Maybe you just didn’t know much about it, or maybe you knew and just decided you didn’t want to know, either way, it wasn’t for him to decide or judge.

So, as he looked over to the table of boys who were ACTUALLY patiently waiting their turn to dig in, his eyes landed on Jihoon, who shook his head and narrowed his eyes at the older wolf in return. Of course you didn’t notice this action, you were always more in your own head than you were in conversations.

“Sucks to suck kids. I make the rules and I say you eat with the mates. End of story. Sorry love!” he declared, once again moving his eyes ever so slightly to Jihoon, who nodded his head slightly as he smiled triumphantly.

He was NOT about to let his newfound mate eat the other mates leftovers with the other wolves. No. That was absolutely NOT happening. He may not have “officially” expressed that you were his mate, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t gonna do everything in his power to make sure you were happy, healthy, and well fed.

“But-” you argued, trying to bring your point’s validity up to him again.

“But nothing (Y/N). Sure you eat more than the other girls. But you DEFINITELY don’t eat as much as the boys do. Even if you are a wolf. Besides you’re one of-” he trailed off just as someone around the room hit the table slightly and coughed. Everyone but you realized where he was going with that sentence, and Jihoon wasn’t ready to face that just yet.

“-One of our guests.” Seungcheol thought after a moment, clearly lying his ass off but hoping he did a good enough job that you didn’t notice. Luckily for him, you weren’t all that great at social cues. “Therefore you shall not be eating whatever’s left, you’ll get first dibs with the other girls.” He said as he sat one of the plates of remaining food left from what the mates couldn’t eat down on the table, kissing his pouting mates forehead in the process.

“Don’t worry about Soonyoung. He’s just a baby. He’ll get over it. You deserve to be eating with the mates.” Spoke the smallest boy of the pack with a smile that seemed to light up as bright as a bonfire whenever you looked him in the eyes. He was the one that had your heart singing whenever you were in the same room. His little declaration made your cheeks heat up.

“O-Okay, I guess. I still don’t think I’ve done anything to deserve the special treatment… but thank you” you resolved with a polite smile back, doing your best to hide the pink covering your face. His heart rate sped up to jackrabbit speed as his inner wolf seemed to beamed at your answer.

“No (Y/N). Thank YOU.” Hansol retorted with a shit eating grin on his face. What he wanted to say was “thanks for helping one of the assholes in the group become juuuuust a little less of an asshole by being his mate,” but obviously he couldn’t do that without getting his ass beat.

“Thank me? Thank me for what?” You questioned, genuinely curious as to what he was thanking you for. You hadn’t done anything to warrant a thank you… had you?

“Oh nothing. Don’t worry about it. You’ll find out… eventually” He let out, looking at Jihoon, earning a smack from the older wolf and a small growl. Though he whined for a second, Hansol still began to laugh at his actions.

“…Okaaaay…” you said, trying your best to forget the conversation as a whole so you could eat the remains of your pancakes. Man these guys are weird.

-

Jihoon wasn’t sure exactly what he should do. He knew he couldn’t deny his instincts forever. But he wasn’t so sure about this whole “mate” thing. I mean, who was he kidding, he got along better on his own. He survived on his own for his entire life, at the orphanage, at school, even in his pack. For the most part, he kept to himself. He was SEVERELY independent, and he liked it that way. People just always managed to bring attachments and strings. Even still, He couldn’t cut off his pack. I mean don’t get him wrong, he loved those idiots and would do anything for them, but fuck, if they didn’t have the dumbest ideas and get themselves into the stupidest shit sometimes.

He knew his survival instinct told him to just ignore the feelings he had for you and act like nothing happened to protect himself. It’s not like you had noticed anyways. But the wolf part of him loved the idea of having a mate. For the longest time, he had to sit around and watch his brothers find their mates and fall in deep love. He watched Seungcheol find Soonyoung first a few months after he had met him. Then Joshua found his mate, Mina, after a few weeks of knowing him. Even little Channie imprinted on his mate, Somi, after just two days of Jihoon being acquainted with him.

Before he knew it, it was just him left without one. They always seemed so… happy and he just… wasn’t. He didn’t mind of course. He was glad his brothers found happiness. But he soon came to realize how lonely being alone truly was. He’d see his pack and their mates do cute things and, his heart was struck with a dull pain that never seemed to lessen, and at the time he didn’t understand why that was. But when he saw you, he knew the whole time he was yearning for you. When he saw you, for once he didn’t completely loathe the idea of taking care of or protecting another person. Even if it meant becoming one of the “lovey people.” He saw you and, one bat of your beautiful eyelashes and he knew, he would gladly lay his life down for you. How could he not?

You were caring and kind, even if you didn’t like to show it. You held yourself high, even if you were small. You were little, but you were mighty. You were smart, yet funny. You hardly spoke, but when you did, it was always something memorable. You never seemed to hold your true self back. He already knew that you were Perfect for him, even if he’d hardly spoken to you. He just couldn’t help the sane part of him that was very weary of the whole situation.

As Jihoon debated his true feelings for you over his breakfast, the other wolves went and conversed with each other. They tried to speak to you too, but you never really had a lot to say. You preferred to listen, which they weren’t all that surprised at. Jihoon was the quiet, calm, smart wolf, so it’s no surprise that his mate was the same way. You’d both always seem to get lost in thought almost simultaneously. You’d both come back to Earth at the same time too, always with very similar excuses.

Though everytime your eyes met, you’d both look away, trying your best to hide the blushes that spread across both your cheeks. It was kind of cute and the pack loved that their brother wouldn’t have to be all alone any longer. He’d no longer have to just sit on the side lines while they all had the time of their lives. He now had you, even if you didn’t realize it yet. You could both be Lonely Together.

Another Author’s Note: I know this chapter is relatively short compared to the others I’ve written so far, but honestly, your girls tired as fuck. I work a full time job, go to school full time, and take care of a lot of my family’s household. Let’s just be lucky I can write at all. Plus, I wrote Wonwoo’s story earlier today too. So let’s just call it a success and I’ll write a better chapter for him next time!

(Updated 9/6)

[recurring-polynya]

If you could rewrite the zanpakto arc of Bleach, and you didn’t have to make it fit into canon, what would it be like? Aside from having a lot of RenRuki pinning.

So I guess this is just a condensation of my complaining from when I was recapping that arc, but, uh, you asked for it. I know this is a lot of people’s favorite arc, and it really just wasn’t my jam, so please, don’t anyone get offended by this, it’s just, like, my opinions, man. Everyone knows my opinions are terrible, I love the Cap’n Amagai arc, for Pete’s sake.

0) The Zanpakutou Arc actually has a lot of good Renruki content, actually? So I probably wouldn’t change much about that. They fight back-to-back in one scene? They are very worried about Byakuya together? There’s a cute li’l scene where Renji lets Rukia into Byakuya’s office to rifle through his things and he says “Don’t work too hard”? And then in the companion Sword Beasts arc, there’s that bit where they are hanging out at B’s house together, eating dango.

1) To be honest, I just wouldn’t. Zanpakutou spirits manifesting is a prerequisite to bankai and I would like it to be treated as a serious part of the lore and the way this arc plays out is too silly for me. If they wanted to just do some goofy one-shots that very obviously exist in the same pseudo-canon as the Shinigami’s Cup, I’m fine with that. There are several very funny episodes in the follow-on Sword Beasts arc, I just don’t want it to be even remotely canon.

2) There were too many humanoid zanpakutou spirits. I am not here for it. First order of business, bring back Nue Zabimaru. Hozukimaru needs to be a big-ass sleepy dragon. Hyourinmaru should be a dragon most of the time, who occasionally turns into a dude, I can accept that. Kazeshini should just be a spooky voice in the darkness. Haineko should be a cat, not a catgirl, and get rid of those shorts. Tobiume: tree. Maybe sometimes a shrine maiden, but mostly a tree. On fire.

3) I am a character writer, first and foremost, and I would have focused this arc intently on building character by carefully curating the fundamental beef that each zanpakutou has with their wielder. For starters, I think that, for the most part, Muramasa should not have been able to seduce any of the zanpakutou spirits of the captains. Attaining bankai is supposed to be an intimate act of intense connection that some interloper shouldn’t be able to break. This was true of Byakuya and Senbonzakura in the actual arc, and I think it should also have been true of Kyouraku, Ukitake, Komamura, Yamamoto, and probably Unohana. (I am dying to know more about Unohana’s relationship with her zanpakutou, and I would probably hint at it without revealing too much). Soi Fon and Kurotsuchi treat their zanpakutou like shit, and I would dig into that. I think Hitsugaya’s arc was just about right-- Hyourinmaru wavered and was very confused, and ultimately came back to Hitsugaya without too much trouble. Hitsugaya is the youngest captain and his bankai is incomplete, and the vibe of it was that he does have a good rapport with his zanpakutou, especially given that his particular zanpakutou is ancient, venerable, and very, very powerful. Now, the place where the story really needs to be happening is at the vice-captain level, where everyone has all manner of intra-personal problems that Muramasa could tap into and amplify. Here are the conflicts I would zoom in on:

Sode no Shirayuki is McPissed that Rukia just... gave her to Ichigo and also almost let herself get executed

Zabimaru would be mad that Renji spent all that time training to defeat Byakuya and now what? He’s just, like, Byakuya’s li’l sidekick? Gross. In fact, if we keep the Byakuya-betrays-everyone aspect, I can see Zabimaru sticking with Renji (since he does have bankai) but wanting a piece of Byakuya and Senbonzakura and we could have a really cool confrontation at some point. Zabimaru should also be constantly trying to fight Zangetsu and trying to get Renji to fight Ichigo. Strike that-- Zabimaru should constantly be trying to get Renji to fight everybody.

Hozukimaru should be upset that Ikkaku hides the beautiful bankai that Hozukimaru gave him and also that he lost that pillar, wtf dude

I would have spent 96% of my animation budget making Ruri'iro Kujaku as beautiful and ethereal as possible and they (non-binary) should have just murdered Yumichika out of spite and fucked off to the Eternal Plane of the Extremely Beautiful

My Haineko would be raw as hell and would dig into Matsumoto for hiding behind alcohol and lightheartedness and I would have put some stuff in there about how maybe being the person your zanpakutou wants you to be is maybe not the same as being a good or emotional healthy person

I hated the idea that Tobiume criticized Momo for being weak after Momo said that her zanpakutou had really helped with her recovery. I would have gone way in the other direction, where Tobiume is extremely overprotective of Momo and wants to keep anything bad from happening to her

Hisagi something something I did not read CFYOW

4) I would not have been a huge coward with regard to Ise, Kotetsu, Iba, or Zaraki fuckin’ Kenpachi. We should have either gotten to see their zanpakutou or they should not have appeared. It would probably be really hard, but I would have done an off-putting, low-priority story thread of Yachiru having a lot of trouble concentrating, or, like, running off, and Zaraki has to go find her, that would hint at their ultimate relationship without being too blatant. Oh, Yoruichi, too, I just remembered Yoruichi was in this.

5) Look, if I were Ichigo and I had to go to Soul Society to save everyone from their own zanpakutou I WOULD BRING FUCKING ORIHIME AND CHAD!!! I wouldn’t being Ishida, but he would come anyway and be the most sanctimonious bastard about all that that you could possibly imagine. Anyway, then I would go in an absolutely wild direction and have Orihime and Chad and Uryuu find out that they do have Inner Worlds and embodiments of their powers and I would devote a lot of the arc to that.

6) Soujun should have been in the Kouga flashbacks, even if, only like, for a minute. Please let me see Byakuya’s dad in his infinite softness. I am begging.

7) I would get rid of Muramasa’s gross fingernails

[littleouroboros]

I absolutely LOVE Eduard's lore, and your DM's setting. Can I ask more questions about him?? I have A Lot, sorry if I'm overstepping! Only answer if u want! But what's his relationship with each of the Black Rose like?? The party got attached to them, but it sounds like they got attached to Eduard. When they entered the dungeon the rite was taken to, is that the same one that Modus Tollens has trapped people in? Do any of the Rose know about any of what's going on between Modus and Eduard? (1/2)

(Cont. of the ask): Also, what's Ed's connection to Queen Lida aside from working in a library named for her? She's an idol to him, but you said "was" a psionic, and the wiki lists her as possibly deceased... have they ever met? And how does Ed feel about the Lattice? Does he regret knowing them? He's trying to get his old life back, do You as his player think he would be able to, even if his memories of the Lattice were removed? I love your Boy's story, but what are his Feelings abt it...?! (2/2) (Answer): Okay okay putting this again under a cut bc I've got a lot to go through here.

First and foremost, Ed and Eduard are different people. Ed is the big, bald half-giant, Eduard is my little warlock man! It's confusing, I know, but my DM had no clue Ed was gonna be such a recurring character I'm sure. I'm going to be proceeding assuming you meant Eduard with every "Ed"

Alright, now that we've got that squared away, let's start with the questions!

What is his relationship with each of the Black Rose?:

I portray his relationship with all three of them as a happy, healthy polyamorous relationship. They are all in love with one another, no one is one-sided or anything like that.

That being said, the individual pairings do have their own dynamics.

[Above] Jara and Eduard's conversation on their way to the dungeon for the first time.

Jara was probably the first one Eduard fell in love with, but not the first one that he really began any sort of real romantic relationship with out of the three. Jara has been sweet and protective of Eduard from the very beginning. She is the group's captain and takes the leading position of the Rose, and as such the other three often look to her for direction, and she is always very caring of her boys. Despite being an elf and not requiring sleep, Jara would spend every night in the dungeon with Eduard holding him in her arms to make sure he got a good night's rest (he had problems sleeping then.)

[Above] Ed holding Eduard after the latter received healing. Eduard had dropped to like 3 HP moments prior.

Ed is likely the one that Eduard initiates things with. Ed is basically the darkest dungeon stress healer of the group. Without him, the other three would be walking around with rainclouds over their heads. Ed's influence makes Eduard want to be a better person--and it's likely the same for Jara and Zack who tend to also lean towards evil and neutral alignments. Ed's also the one that is most in touch with his feelings and is able to easily read how his companions are feeling--which means that he's the first one to realize that Eduard is in love with himself and his two companions, as well as vice-versa. With Eduard in particular, Ed is very protective and frequently puts himself in front of Eduard during combat to make sure he doesn't get hurt.

[Above] Zack taking an academic interest in Eduard but being kinda gay about it.

Zack and Eduard probably have had the most growth together in terms of their relationship. When Jara was trying to decide if she wanted to bring Eduard along with them on their delve into the dungeon, Zack said something along the line of, "Well if we bring him with us, there will be fewer questions when he disappears." But now, in current time, Zack forsook their mission (which they were all willing to risk their lives for, mind you) by influencing a magic ring tracking the rite to instead track Eduard to find him when he went missing--then scoured the halls of the lowest level of the mega-dungeon for four days to find Eduard. Their relationship went from conflicting, to curiosity (As Zack was interested in Eduard's warlock magics and the tome once Eduard confided in him), and now to only vaguely veiled yearning so desperate that they'd risk life and limb for one another.

When they entered the dungeon the rite was taken to, is that the same one that Modus Tollens has trapped people in?:

Yep! It's all part of the same mega-dungeon. Modus Tollens currently has Zack's rite within his vault, and that's why it would be a suicide mission. To attempt to steal a cursed rite of power from a Lich as powerful as Modus is basically a death sentence.

Do any of the Rose know about any of what's going on between Modus and Eduard?:

To be completely fair, "What's going on between Modus and Eduard" is not nearly as homoerotic as I like to depict it as, I'm just gay. HOWEVER, that being said, Eduard and Modus Tollens are still doing shady and dangerous shit, and the Rose does not know the full extent of it. This is not Eduard intending to be sneaky or anything like that, though. Eduard just sees no reason to burden his companions with that, he doesn't want to worry them. He believes he can handle it on his own, and it would keep the people he cares about safest if they didn't know everything.

Also, what's Ed[uard]'s connection to Queen Lida aside from working in a library named for her? She's an idol to him, but you said "was" a psionic, and the wiki lists her as possibly deceased... have they ever met?

Eduard has... sort of met her. Technically she disappeared about 700 years before the current game, but it was revealed that she had died within Modus Tollen's dungeon--and the Lich's influence stretches farther back in time than that. Queen Lida was killed and had her flesh eaten by Odrea--someone she had trusted--because Odrea wanted power from the Lich to help her own companions escape. It didn't work, and Odrea and her companions are still stuck in the dungeon to this day... sort of. That's another long story.

Back to Eduard, though. Eduard only knew of Queen Lida because of her history, her library, and the fact that she was the founder of the Order of the Black Rose; an order made with the intent of finding and obtaining sensitive information and relics, evil or not, and learning to harness them. It was a cause that resonated with Eduard, especially after his run-in with the Lattice.

He only discovered she was a psionic when Modus Tollens told him. The Lich offered him one of her eyes preserved in red glass, which alone granted him the ability to use his own psionics after he had touched it.

[Above] Meme with a living Lida, Eduard, and Lida's preserved eyes.

Another PC, Mendrin, had hold of her other eye at that point, and when Eduard learned of that he asked for it and acquired both eyes that way. By using both eyes as foci for his psionics, Eduard... uh... well, he brought Queen Lida back to life.

Sort of.

She revitalized as a pulsing, floating nervous system that connected to her reclaimed eyes, but she had no brain, no bones, no skin, etc. She was, however, insanely powerful, and vanished rather quickly after regaining her sentience. Modus Tollens is quite obviously frightened of her.

And how does Ed[uard] feel about the Lattice? Does he regret knowing them?

Eduard is scared of the Lattice. That's the easy way to put it. The Lattice scares him so long as it is basically holding him at figurative gunpoint. The Lattice could decide at any moment that keeping Eduard alive isn't worth it and simply vanish him from existence, removing his memory from every mind on every plane, erasing any loose ends so that the god can return to blissful anonymity.

He does, however, also appreciate it. The Lattice has offered him a life he never dreamed he could have had. Eduard was a book nerd working a cushy desk job at a fancy library preparing to go to a college for wizardry, but now he has experiences more incredible than any he has read about. He is altering real history with every action he takes, and he has three new companions in his life that he would do anything for.

He doesn't regret knowing the Lattice, but he does want to get it over with.

He's trying to get his old life back, do You as his player think he would be able to, even if his memories of the Lattice were removed?

Perhaps saying his "old life" was bad phrasing. Eduard would not like to go back to the way things were verbatim.

Eduard would, however, like to one day be able to settle down with his three partners in a black stone Chroma manor by the sea without fear of forgetting them, or worse, them forgetting him as he fades into the obscurity of the Lattice. That, I believe, is certainly within his power...

As long as he can find a way to kill Modus Tollens.

[inadequate-nefelibata]

Okay, so I like queer!Johnny and l@wrusso just as much as anyone, but lately I’ve been having some thoughts about the way media and fandom frames violence in men as an indicator of potential queerness. Particulary on the way this can sometimes change how people interpret classic macho behavior, such as misogyny or agressiveness.

Despite the stereotypes that exist about gay men being more feminine, there’s also this narrative in our culture that men who are aggressively masculine, especially if is in a way that’s harmful to others or themselves, are probably acting out because of repressed homosexuality or queerness. This is easy to observe in media: there’s the trope “Armoured closet man”, and Rantasmo mentions some examples in his video “The homophobic hypocrite”. And like he explains, this is  something people sometimes apply to real life situations. For example, I have a friend who is usually pretty chill about engaging in gay behavior with other dudes for the laughs, and one day he was discussing it with a friend and they were like “Yeah, we don’t care. Some people care too much about appearing gay and we know why”. This idea it’s not limited to men: you can also find it in Lily Singh’s video “A Therapy Session For Homophobic People” where the homophobic lady ends up asking her out. Those are the first example’s I could remember, but there are more.

I’m not saying it’s not something that happens. Obviously, being homophobic or being conservative about gender roles does not guarantee that someone’s straight or cis. We were all raised in a homophobic, heteronormative society, after all. I was, at some point, scared of being gay. And I understand where the specific connection comes from: sometimes when you’re guilty or ashamed of something, you lash out more easily. That’s why there’s such a complex relationship between repression in queer men and violence: if you can’t express your desires in a healthy way, that can lead to channeling those feelings into aggression, which is more “socially acceptable”.

So it’s not automatically wrong to make the connection. What’s been bothering me lately is how interpreting homophobic, misogynistic, or just generally violent behaviors as secondary effects of repressed queer desire sometimes suggest that homophobia or misogyny are not enough on their own. Just like my friends said that one time: if you’re a man and you’re homophobic, it has to be for a reason. And that reason is not that you live in an homophobic, misogynistic society that makes you hate queer or feminine people, it has to be something particular about you that makes you more susceptible to those ideas.

The thing is that this is pretty convenient for cishet, conventionally masculine, men. It ends up suggesting is that homophobia, misogyny, aggression or other harmful attitudes have actually nothing to do with hegemonic masculinity. It’s only when men don’t fit into this ideal that these toxic behaviors start leaking out. And it’s not just convenient for them as individiduals, it also absolves our culture; if it’s the result of a particular experience, we don’t need to start thinking too hard about how our gender roles affects us in general.

Which reminds me of a video I saw recently, by Lindsay Ellis. She’s discussing transphobia in film, but there’s this moment when she’s talking about the movie Psycho, and she mentions Ed Gein, the real life version of Norman Bates. Apparently, he was originally presented in the media as a man who had unresolved queer tendencies, which served as an inspiration for the character in the film. But. That was a lie. There was no evidence that this was actually true for Ed Gein. As far as everyone knows, he was a straight cisgender man who killed women. And she brings up this quote, from Richard Titthecott, “Of men and monsters”:

So, the video is specifically about the perceived relationship between serial killers, trans women, and how this relates to transphobia. And I was talkig about seeing agressively masculine men, so I know it’s not exactly the same thing. But I keep thinking about that and about what Rantasmo said on his video. He goes from talking about canonical homophobic queer characters to talking about real life situations. And he mentions how sometimes when a homophobic hate crime takes place, people start speculating about whether or not the killer in question is queer himself, often implying that maybe it wasn’t really an explression of homophobia, but an example of the self-destructive tendencies of gay people. What he concludes is that this idea of the “homophobic hypocrite” is often used to “push the responsibility of homophobia and hate crimes off of heterosexuals and on to the victims”. 

While these examples have to do with particularly strong forms of misogyny and homophobia, it’s not out of the question to consider how this relates minor forms of violence. 

All of this is just about Thoughts. I’m not going to reach any conclusion here, because it’s impossible. Especially when it comes to what is and isn’t a Good or a Bad headcanon or ship. Like I said at the beginning, those ships can be fun and can be interesting for many reasons.  I just want to think about the things that may be influencing my interpretations of a story without my knowledge. If we start to believe that just living in a world where you know that being a straight man gives you certain privileges over women and queer ppl is not enough to be hateful towards them, it becomes harder to hold privileged people accountable. Or to explore how those privileges work and why they are put in place. Obviously, there are many ways to talk about this topic, and people can be more than one thing. A man can be queer and misogynistic for example, both privileged and opressed. I don’t know.

Basically, I’m just going to end this post by saying that the idea that “queer interpretations of mainstream media are a way to expand the narrative and include ourselves in the stories we love, and these interpretations are often mocked or rejected by mainstream writers and audiences that think that labelling something as gay is insulting, so they often go against the current” can coexist with the idea that “interpreting homophobia, misogyny, aggression or other harmful attitudes as indicators of potential queerness can be pretty convenient for straight cis conventionally masculine men, and also the association between queer men and violence and self-destructive tendencies is really prevalent in mainstream media and in our homophobic culture”. ???

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[detectiveconnor]

human!verse connor’s particulars around eating (eating disorder tw, he is in recovery): 

he prefers not to eat alone. badly enough that he will actively ask for company from most people, effectively strangers. he does not have to like them 

he will eat alone if he ‘has’ to, but especially in a public space / where other people can see him eating, he prefers not to be doing it alone (and bad days .... he is sometimes Very tempted to skip a meal, on bad days. He will ask with a little More intensity, on those. Eat with him.) 

he has a “schedule” that he eats on (’deadlines’ to eat by through the course of the day), he is pretty strict about meeting these and most days eats At the time rather than Before it 

he can eat off-schedule, especially in good company. good company does a lot for him, actually 

he eats mentos chronically, there is always a roll of them somewhere around his desk or apartment or on his person. they used to be energy-substitutes (high sugar), now are just a habit he hasn’t kicked 

he will always clean his plate. connor eats everything that was on his plate at the start of the meal unless it is impossible to eat (literally has gone bad, etc) 

connor is of the strict opinion that all food is good food. he will not interrogate what food goes into his body. nonetheless - he has an easier time of it if things seem healthy/balanced and will eat Slowly, otherwise, unless he is in good company 

in good company, he is able to eat (relatively) small amounts of just about anything, healthy or not. he’s not focused on the food, there. it’s his favourite way to eat, in good company 

his favourite take-out is a Chinese place. He doesn’t do take-out very regularly, once a month or so. Connor tends to cook his own meals (though he prefers not to) 

he never makes left-overs, if he is cooking. this is in the spirit of ‘he always cleans his plate’ - he cooks to exact portion size, not anything more or anything less. 

he can sometimes still miss meals during the course of the day, if he is very busy. it’s usually not too bad, and he still eats those mentos chronically (and coffee), but ... it’s gone on long enough he’s passed out, before. he is very...... mmmm irritated? that it happened, and will get straight back to eating at the Right Times. he is in recovery, but the ‘you are not paying enough attention to eating’ signal of Literally Passing Out was a reminder to keep being in recovery. 

He ............... has.......... trouble. feeling. hungry. it happens occasionally, but when he first moved to Detroit he hadn’t actually felt hungry (noticed feeling hungry) in years. 

his medical records have recorded he was underweight in the past, but he was never diagnosed and by the time he *was* seeing a doctor regularly (only after he moved out) who stood any chance of catching it, he was working on it himself, so it evened out and nobody ever thought to be worried about it. 

Amanda knew. she was derisive about it and once told him, “That’s a lot of food, don’t you think?” when he was making his First attempt at fixing it himself (14) (did not work). 

ED since he was around 11, up until ~23 (he was fighting it, before then. It took him two or three attempts - i.e. one relenting, to catch his breath - to get to something that stuck and kept him at a healthy weight, consistently.) 

It was never about his body, it was always about being able to Control something. He linked it to control. (Current-Connor knows he was Wrong.)  

[informedinterest]

Mcsm| Toxic leaders, friendships, coworkers & peers

(The  ol         Or          der)

  1. Soren          Is shown to be a reasonable leader that cares about his crew a reasonable amount, helped by the fact that he shown to be about excessive age, unlike Jesse who’s age is ambiguous possibly committing tox to Soren from what could be a adventuring - young adult age to excess - see below,                                                                                              for how tha                                                                                          t affects the story,)

How      eve        r is hampered by a       unfortunate history of tox              That        left            it’s           mar              k            o             n            h            i           m,

- Jesse

  Soren does not remove Jesse from his property despite it causing seemingly distress to him

 - if Jesse acts kind (or if hearing anyone (particularly the order) responds kindly to him), Soren will react with disbelief, If tox, he will excuse it beyond any healthy measures ‘ha a joke…as what friends do,’

    Whe          n n           o jok            e             s             are                n’t               pain              f              u               l              ,

Then there’s this line,

     “I’ve found when you give people what they want they turn on you, they become resentful,” - Soren

    And              Scene,

Soren cower         ing      from         his     team         mates

Eligard & Magnus          Fake smiles          impl           ing there is something that’s         actually wrong  and we quickly find out           why

  (I’ll go over the particulars about why        Soren might not be excited to see         Eligard & Magnus on site in their sections        )

  Point being,

   It doesn’t take long before it goes       tox      at the      cave,

- Eligard (or whoever is left of the Eligard or/ Magnus pai        ring)  takes         a pot shot at          Soren                        ,          Gabriel, “is he always           like this, “

     Eligard/Magnus; you have            no idea,

    (When Soren goes out for a          break due to distress          & after          the death        of a      friend,)        ,

- Ivor immediately tries to take the reins        after makin         g the    main       problem        (And his main          fail         safe       back        fired)

   You can clearly see things going        tox       quic      k      ly

  (Then there’s the in famous Ivor scapegoat scene      showing that even back then       he was         tox,            )

   And the rest is just Ivor       bein        tox,

                                                                                 (Until Soren event gets away                                                                                                         good for him)

- Eligard

   - Largely           non-tox                    but is a victim and                an ena            bler of Magnus

        - Small pre- men             tion                ed bit of tox

 - Magnus

    - abs.            ball of                 tox

     - causes             argu            ments

     - never        contributes          any         thing positive to the            group

       - Small              bit                of                tox                 a                  s mentioned above

        - Explicit                abuse                   o                   f              Eligard,                  Implied               abuse                    of                 Soren

     - Gabriel-

      - Little              is known              abou                t               hi                 m,              That he seems pretty unaware of the toxic            dynamic,

       Apart from          Magnus‘s tendency to           insti           gate             And Eligard’s          ten          dency           to          ar           gue,

     - Ivor

      - with Magnus at least you could argue he could’ve originally intend to fill some role if you squint,      with some routes      But with Ivor you can’t               He was tox from the beginning,           Continued       to be tox,           Not a redeemable             quality                in             sight                  ,

                                                                      Overall the group is a                                                                         gosh darn mess

       New             Order               ~

- Jesse - Despite being a leader, Jesse seems resentful of his leadership and constantly makes up things - ideas on the spot that no leader would leave to the last minute and would’ve already planned in advance/have a general idea  of, showing how the game mechanic damages a actual good story

    - His first mission is a find the person mission, not unheard of for a supportive subordinate character. However as a leader, it can come off as unnecessarily authority assuming, if not handled correctly, which unfortunately it wasn’t 1) By having this occur after a ‘break up’ in which several members isolated, placing this around excessive age 2) most of the members are reluctant to get together

Resulting in Jesse coming up as nagging or irritatingly intrusive.

              As a leader,

              There are two main goals,

               (To be 

                considered 

                 a 

                good 

                 one)

                  1. Attention to 

                      th

                       e 

                       mis

                       s

                        ion,

                       - With the psychological benefits teammates receiving prop stimuli

                      Jesse constantly waffles, 

                resulting in reasonably irritated 

             re

          sponses

            fro

            m 

            hi

             s 

        team

        mates

                    2. Tending to your Team                        mates,                          Self-explanatory                                  

                                   Jesse                                               doesn’t                                            seem                                                to                                                   care                                            about his                                            team                                              mate                                               s                                             Until it reaches                                  the mandatory                                   spots, or (is believed) to go past critical (see Lukas “crying”                                                   and they                              refuse to move                                      until                                    he                             does,

                  The correct                        pro                         to                       co                        l,

                 Bein                          g                           constant               availability,                            to                        thei                         r                      lei                            sur                            e

                Care kept satisfactory                      and short                   without dragging the mission to a              stand                still

                     Despite, Jessie’s showing only the barest minimum of retention wit h  hi      s pe        t       pig, 

  How about he still has plenty of time micromanaging 

the          one          thing        you        don’t        want            to          do,

     An argument can’t break out without Jesse               interject

     Showing that he has no trust in his        team        mates to be able to resolve their own       conflict

   Then again it comes from the person who is the worst role model/sets the worst example

   Gettin            into a squibble             Wi         th           hi    s           subordinates/           (temporary)                co-leader               Lukas

        Fi                             gh                t                 in                g           over a           de             tect                 ion uni                t,

         Note               ,                        Well confrontations over a stolen role might get             phys             that             I am              not             den              y                 in                 g,

      (The above mentioned things leads it to                    (lean                      in                 Luk                 as‘                  s                favor

           Tha                      t Jesse is the one that stole the role   

              (Not helpful for the fact that Lukus acts like a                  spited leader                 Al                  l through                       out,                And has characterized              the he doesn’t stand up for himself

       (Even if wrong, Jesse is still reprimands a           sub      ordinate,                        ) - Lukas

     Likely the victim of Axle’s           Tox,

      Lukas falls into most of the pitfalls that           Soren does, not standing up for himself         and possibly leaving (even for a short time) when the tox gets too much - Olivia

     Pretty           non tox            Some implied self-esteem issues with her place in the group constantly asking questions to validify it             ,

- Axel

   - Openly scares his friends               and takes pleasure                 from distress

           - Humor doesn’t come from                      sad/                    Despair                     it comes from                            happi                 ness,

      - Almost literally cannot go five seconds without starting an argument or being tox            (Specifically towards             Lukas)                  ,

       Following the unfortunate theme of          green being tox     despite it being grow             t              h,

- Petra

    (Season 1)

     Tox

 - Expecting them to find her          despite not vibin’                              the loc                                  at                                    ion,

     demeaning

  - Threats of         violence

    “Not getting punched in the face              for saying that             right now,”                   - Petra

       Coercion

      General authority assumption

      Separation Jesse         from his friends,        friends          separating/or         hanging out with          other friends            on their own will is non-tox

      Authority assumption- entitlement to excess

       Promises             an          lies           are                  pret              ty         useless

    (Season 2)

- Petra

     - Tox

        - General Tox

            - demeaning

            - Guilt tripping

               - Friend ship

               - Adventures

               - Lack o.                   Adventures                - End goal - Jesse helps her find the llama and threaten/coerce Stella, who she also has a toxic manipulator/manipulated relation ship with (through likely      intimidation         as Petra knows that Stella          has a             thing           w/th         Jesse        and         two          on          one          num           er            ical,             ,

        After               all

                  - when it’s                   discovered that Petra is                         retiring to champion city

    - gas light               ed,             (-claiming things to happen that didn’t really happen,)

     - Petra’s guilt trip of the treehouse;

       “ we used to hang out in the treehouse                all the time,” - Petra

        Show it            or it didn’t happen

           - to our knowledge                    never happened,

              - Emotional                      Abuse/

                       - “Friends,”

  - Jack

       - Bit non-tox except for some                 snips               at Nurm

       - The general having to          ‘one Up’             everyone,

 - Nurm

  (Od.       d      take         on   senti    e    nce

nar     rat ive  

tox,

        Pretty clear except for                 (apparent)             put down on Jack’s naming                convention

- Romeo,  

   Pretty similar to            Petra,

General Tox

   General       Authority      Assumption

- Emotional            Abuse

     - Guilt tripping

- Logical      abuse

     - Gaslighting

- Physical       abuse

   - Acts of         violence

        - Destruction                of un          Account             able           pro.        per            ty,         (Dif      ferent         from      ac      countable)           ,

    All of above;

     demeaning

      coercion

   - Threats of           violence

    - Apparent            murde             r

    - Abuse              of           sub            ordin           ates      Should not be        redeemed

    Xara

      - Straight up kills            a person

          Radar-

          Refusal to             read              the             vibes                 aka               Several misdemeanors               worth of tox           for general obsessive behavior unbefitting, unhealthy              and unnatural                       of a                   sentient,