#(i mean later there are dramatics. what's more fun than going into labor at the worst possible time u know!! the usual

[heavywithplot]

leslie (glasses, he/they) and andy (tall, he/they)!

the story they’re in is an overdramatic mafia plot, leslie is the guy who does the bookkeeping lmao

[howggswouldreact]

🏥 The Personification of Our Love | Kim Lip

Request: kim lip x reader where the reader is pregnant and goes into labor pls ~~~ love your blog ♡♡♡♡ Plot: Jungeun is waiting at the Hospital while Reader is in labor. Jungeun's mind flies to loving memories. Words: 2, 222 Genre: fluff, pregnancy Notes: i use to say "i loved writing this one" because i really do love writing things you all request me. and i loved writing this one. i love to write about things that involve family and friendship, etc. this one is the type to make my heart feel at peace... i hope you enjoy it and have a nice read! ♡♡

Maybe Jungeun shouldn't keep her eyes open for so long, without blinking. At least that's what Haseul was telling her all the time, but she wouldn't be aware of what her friend was saying until hours later, when the white doors were opened and a person wearing blue from head to toe told her that she was finally allowed to enter. For now, she had her hands cupped over her mouth, her feet tapping the floor in a frantic rhythm, her heart pumping blood like crazy.

Why couldn't things be like in the movies, where she could just have a camera filming everything that was going on in that room?

How was it going? How were you? And how was the baby? GOD, WAS THE BABY OKAY?

The movements of her feet accelerated even more and she felt the touch of a hand resting very cautiously on her knee.

"Stop doing that, you're looking like a maniac!", Hyejoo's voice, impatient and at the same time anxious, sounded beside Jungeun.

"I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.", she replied in a low voice, sweat forming on the corner of her forehead.

A huge, vibrant smile appeared in the blonde's vision and warm hands took hers, that were cold, in an affectionate squeeze. Jiwoo.

"How about if we go get something to eat? I'm sure there must be anything good in these machines full of food.”, said her longtime friend.

With a nod and letting Jiwoo guide her, Jungeun was pulled by the arm to a vending machine in the corner of the waiting room. While, in her mind, Jungeun was pulled for a few moments before what would be the greatest moment of her life (along with her wedding day, of course).

8 AM, same day

"Christ! It’s like I'm about to explode!", you said, putting your hand on your belly and feeling a twinge in your back.

"A beautiful, healthy child is going to appear from this explosion...", Jungeun started to speak, slowly approaching the bed, leaning on one knee and then the other. "And this child is very...", her hands landed on your belly, one of them over your right hand. "... very loved!"

"And we haven't even thought about the name of this beloved child yet."

You looked at her with a disapproving gaze.

"I don't want to decide anything right now because I think it will be more exciting to take this important decision when the time comes.", Jungeun shrugged without looking at you, she was very busy stroking your belly button.

"Maybe if you just let me..."

"Don't even think about it. This baby is mine too, you know?", the irritated tone disappeared from Jungeun's voice when her eyes met the playful glow of yours. She smiled.

"You know I would never make a decision like that without you, right?"

She nodded and lifted her body so she could kiss you, but there was a huge belly between the two of you - with a baby on the way in - and you started to laugh.

"Ahhhh!! So close yet so far!", dramatized Jungeun, as she lay down beside you and kissed your forehead and then your lips. "Now, close enough."

10 PM, the day before

"I still can't believe you chose this crackhead to be our baby's godmother...", you whispered to Jungeun, leaning on the doorframe while watching Jiwoo dancing some children's music and doing a super choreography in front of a camera.

Jungeun smiled at you.

"It's not like you didn't say 'oh, babe, I would never forgive you if I didn't choose Jiwoo to be our baby’s godmother', right?"

All the girls were there, they decided to have the first “Girls’ Pajama Party with the Baby” even before the baby was born. Not that you didn't love the idea, but to see Jiwoo carrying that camera everywhere was hilarious. You wouldn't miss an opportunity to make fun of it.

"You have to understand that I have hormones. Many! And they are crazy running back and forth, telling me what to do all the time! It's not like everything I say is valid while pregnant. Plus: I didn’t know she would do this Good Luck Charlie sort of thing."

With a mischievous look, Jungeun brought her face close to yours, smiling like a mischievous child.

"So it means that I am right deciding that the baby's one-year birthday should be Taeyeon-themed."

You gave her an angry look.

"I've been carrying our beautiful baby for nine months. If it were to honor someone on their one-year anniversary, it should be me."

A warm laugh from the bottom of Jungeun's heart filled your ears. She came over and wrapped her right arm around your waist while her left hand was over your protruding belly. None of you had reached such a full level of happiness like this before.

"Don't worry... Taeyeon won't be a party theme, I promise." she kissed your face. "It's so easy to annoy you lately. But there's no need to worry. The one-year anniversary theme will be Harry Potter, anyways."

You rolled your eyes trying to hide a smile. Jungeun noticed it. She always did. She smiled back and stroked your belly once more. It was difficult to know which of you two was most anxious for the family to be finally complete.

5 months ago

"Come on, say something very beautiful and with enough meaning, because then I will edit with a ballad song in the background."

Jiwoo was pointing the camera at you, whose lips were covered with doritos crumbs and ice cream, while Jungeun held up a jar of that same ice cream that you dipped the spoon from time to time.

"I can only think of how bizarre these mixtures become each month, I have no idea what beautiful things I can say.", Jungeun spoke while giving you a judgmental look. “I can’t believe my baby is eating… this.”

"Just say my name, so you will say one of the most beautiful things in the world.", you replied, raising your eyebrows as you dipped the tip of the doritos in the pistachio green and put it whole in your mouth.

"Grooooooss.", Jiwoo hummed as she turned the camera to her face. "I hope you don't have to deal with this often."

You two were at Heejin's apartment, decided to stop by as you were walking around the neighborhood looking for that ice cream flavor. Yeojin and Jiwoo went to meet you. This was yet another visit for the future "aunts" of the baby to come.

"I will definitely deal with them to keep you safe." Yeojin noted, beside Jiwoo and staring at the camera.

"Don't worry. We will protect you from anything that might negatively affect you, even if it means taking you away from these delinquents' arms." Heejin said, joining the other two.

"An army against us?", Jungeun asked as you put one of those doritos in her mouth.

They giggled. Another scene for the baby's life documentary, directed exclusively by Kim Jiwoo.

7 months ago

"Well... maybe we should... maybe we should buy baby things? Or set up the baby's room?", You suggested, astonished by the news that, finally, you were going to have a baby.

With the results of the exam in hands, Jungeun was very quiet on the way home. Parking the car in the garage of the building where you lived together, you waited for an answer to your questions.

Pregnant? Who knew you would be pregnant? Well, it was your dream two months ago. You both decided to make this dream come true. But it was a short while ago, actually. And you were not expecting a positive response so quickly. On the first try? Wow! This was really fast.

You noticed Jungeun's trembling hands and, now that you were pregnant, you would have a child of both of you, increasing the "family with our shape" because it's gonna be "the personification of your love", as the blonde said a few times. You wondered if she regretted it. After all, it would affect both your lives on a large scale, even though it was, at the moment, no more than the size of a bean.

"Look, I... I understand if you don't want to say anything. I will respect your space, but I thought it was our decision and..."

"Could you excuse me for a moment?", Jungeun said, in a whispering voice, and getting out of the car.

You understood that you shouldn't go after her and you were left with no reaction to her words. Meanwhile, outside the car, in the light of the vehicle's white headlights, the blonde of exuberant beauty and small body read the exam again, a growing smile on the pink lips that you loved to kiss so much.

Suddenly, to your shock, she let out a cry mixed with laughter and jumped in the air. It was as if, there, in that deserted garage and with you in the car, there was a space where Jungeun could celebrate it with vivacity. She was just so full of joy!

She was just as happy as you are, obviously! She just needed to find a place to outsource it, a moment when she could be free, a place where she could celebrate it!

Jungeun's hands held the test results as if they were holding the most precious thing in her life. And, somehow, it was.

You flashed the headlights in sync with her leaps and, watching her body turn to the car, her dark brown eyes staring into the glass, you knew what she would say and you both said at the same time, in a whisper only your hearts could hear.

"I love you."

Back to Present – 3 AM

Keeping a packet of m&m's in her jacket pocket, saving it for you to eat later, Jungeun finished eating a strawberry cereal bar, chewing slowly as the girls entered into a conversation to try to calm their spirits. In fact, everyone there was looking forward to you and the baby being well and being able to receive visitors as soon as possible.

Jinsoul told a story of her adolescence and the girls highlighted some parts, asked a few things and laughed. But Jungeun's mind was just a few feet from that waiting room.

Were you in pain? Was the baby finding the way out safely? Was the baby healthy? Were you okay?

She had no way of knowing. She went to the bathroom, the girls followed the blonde head with concern as she crossed the room to the door with a blue sign written "toilet".

When closing the door already inside the bathroom, every sound coming from outside was isolated. Jungeun turned the tap on and felt the cascade of water flowing through her fingers, finding some calm with that, since the only person who could give her the biggest amount of peace was in labor.

She washed her face and dried it with paper, stared at her reflection and realized she was pale. She would only regain color when she could finally see you and the baby.

She put her hand on the door handle again, turning it, and when she closed the door behind her, she noticed that all the girls were standing, staring at the beginning of the corridor. Her face turned in the same direction, where a nurse was standing still, noticed the movement of the woman's lips and the signal for her to follow her on a path. That woman would take Jungeun's to where her heart belonged.

"I wish you were with me... with us at the moment…", you whispered.

"The nurses didn't let me in, babe, but I'm here now..."

Jungeun was almost crouched beside the bed, her face close to yours. She reached up and stroked your cheekbones, touching your forehead with hers.

“How was it?”, she asked.

“It was like I was shitting a coconut.”

Her throat exploded with a pleasurable laugh, making you laugh along, even though you felt a lot of pain in your entire body. Tiredness was overwhelming you, but not enough to see your baby again.

"I only saw our baby for about 5 seconds and I was barely able to see that little face before they did the cleaning and exams."

Your voice was a whisper and Jungeun shook her head, as if she told you not to worry about it, and then she gave you a peck.

When the nurse came into the room and placed the baby in your arms, Jungeun was already crying. She never thought that your love could take on a human shape, so small, fragile and beautiful.

"Oh, God... I love you both so much..." she said, letting those strong tears run down her clean face as she bent down to kiss the top of the baby's head very gently.

That little body, with small hands, gripped her finger firmly and you knew that you would not let anything in the world do anything to destroy that purity. Jungeun felt the same way. Somehow, you knew that. You felt that. Perhaps because you had known her for a long time. Perhaps it was because of love. But you did knew. And she also knew that, whatever happened, her family would always be the homewhere your hearts could rest.

[miserablesme]

The Les Miserables Changelog Part 1: Barbican Previews

Hello everyone! I'm starting out a blog which will look at my favorite musical, Les Miserables, and will discuss the various changes it has gone through over time (musically and lyrically). As it turns out, a LOT of edits have been made over the years so this will doubtless be a series with several parts.

This first part may well be the most difficult and will almost certainly be the most incomplete, as previews can be a time of extensive editing and experimentation. At least for the first few weeks or so, it's perfectly possible any one day of previews will be slightly different than any other day. However, I only have access to two audios from the Barbican Theatre previews of Les Miserables, meaning it's likely that lyrical variants exist which I have no way of hearing.

I am aware of the existence of a third audio which is fairly early in the run of previews, as the tape's master has told me that Gavroche's death scene is in its original form (I'll clarify that later). However, that tape has never been traded, and has sadly only been listened to by its master. I am also aware of a video proshot of the Barbican era that exists in the Royal Shakespeare Company library, but currently have no access to it. I plan to inquire about whether I can look at it sometime (though I'm not sure a blog like this is "official" enough to warrant it for research purposes). As such, this comparison only entails the two widely circulated audios from the Barbican run.

Now that we've gotten that cleared up, let's get started!

First, let's look at the opening "Work Song". In the earlier recording I have (let's call it R1), the beginning music (the same tune used, for instance, at the opening of "At the End of the Day" and "One Day More" and for Marius and Cosette's meeting in "The Robbery") stops. Then, a few moments later, the more familiar opening that leads directly into the prologue begins. By the time of the later recording I have (let's call it R2), the scores have been combined so that the first tune directly transitions into the second one.

Meanwhile, in R1 there is a sequence of lines that goes as follows:

I've done no wrong

Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer

Look down, look down

Sweet Jesus doesn't care

I killed a man

He tried to steal my wife

Look down, look down

She wasn't worth your life

I know she'll wait

I know that she'll be true

Look down, look down

She's long forgotten you

Most fans of the musical recognize the middle sequence of lines ("I killed a man" through "She wasn't worth your life") as no longer being lines in the show (for good reason, as we'll get into in a later edition of this blog). However, R2 keeps the lines. Instead, it deletes the third sequence ("I know she'll wait" through "She's long forgotten you"). I have no idea if this lasted only a few performances or made it all the way to the end of the Barbican run, or somewhere in between.

During "On Parole", specifically after Valjean is underpaid for his labor and sings about his frustration, R1 uses a variation of the "Work Song" theme which, to my recollection, is heard nowhere else in the musical. It can be heard here. By R2, it was switched to an in-tune version of the number with a unique opening. The musical retains that version to this day, but in case you can't recall it you can hear it here.

Minus an unintentional line flub in "At the End of the Day" in R2, the two Barbican recordings seem to use the same libretto and score from this point until "The Runaway Cart". At this point, R1 has a rather extensive scene leading up to Valjean saving Fauchelevent, which goes approximately as follows (the dialog is difficult to make out):

(VALJEAN)

Is there anyone here who will rescue the man?

Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart?

I will pay any man thirty louis d’or more

I will do it myself if there’s no one who will

We can’t let him die like that down in the street

Can you all watch him die and do nothing at all?

(FAUCHELEVENT)

Don’t approach me, Monsieur Mayor

The cart’s not gonna be holding

Not my poor mother would care if I should die

(TOWNSPEOPLE)

Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor

There's nothing at all you can do

The old man's a goner for sure

Leave him alone

Most of that dialog is deleted in R2, so that it goes directly from "Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart" to "Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor". I really like the idea of the original version; it seems reasonable that Valjean, having become a more trusted man, would expect the townspeople to help him. It's more meaningful that Valjean is good enough to do what's right when there's more time to establish that no one else is. Having said that, the original version did take quite a while and didn't really contain any relevant information that wasn't in the final version. I think the cut version as heard in R2 is a good compromise and retains the general mood and pacing to make Valjean's ultimate action satisfying (something that can't be said of later cuts, as will be discussed in a future edition of this blog).

Additionally, at the end of the number Javert refers to "the mark upon his skin" in R1 and "the brand upon his skin in R2 (as well as literally every subsequent performance since then to my knowledge). I have no idea if the "mark" line was a minor flub or was actually the original lyric.

"Who Am I?" is an interesting one. The musical content is identical in R1 and R2, but in R1 after his high note, Valjean shouts "You know where to find me!" with emotion so dramatic it sits right on the border between awesome and campy. By contrast, Valjean is totally silent after his high note in R2. Neither version would see its final day just yet, although the latter certainly has become more traditional over time. More on that in future editions.

From this point until "Master of the House" everything is the same between the two recordings. Roger Allam even comes in slightly late in both "Confrontation" scenes (making his line "-jean, at last...")! However, in the opening to "Master of the House" the following lines occur in R1:

(THENARDIER)

My band of soaks, my den of dissolutes

My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts

My sons of whores

Spend their lives in my inn

Homing pigeons flying in

They fly through my doors

And their money's good as yours

(CUSTOMERS)

Ain't got a clue what he put into his stew

Must've scraped it off the street

Hell, what a wine

Châteauneuf de Turpentine

Must've pressed it with his feet

Landlord over here

Where's the bloody man

One more for the road

One more slug of gin

Just one more or my old man is gonna do me in

All of those lines would be scrapped in R2. Personally I prefer this shortened variant than the one that would occur much later. Sure, some fun moments get lost, but nothing that actually adds any substance or characterization to the musical (unlike the later cut, which I'll discuss in a later edition of this blog). Some have speculated that this is simply lost dialog due to a tape flip of degrading, given that future performances would retain those lines. However, there is firsthand confirmation that the cuts were in fact part of the performance. To quote Trevor Nunn on page 87 of 1990's The Complete Book of Les Miserables (a page which elaborates that "the cost of overtime incurred after three hours could be crippling at a time when Les Miserables was still trying to find an audience"):

"Cameron wanted major cuts, which would have reduced its length to two and a half hours. I resisted, refusing to discuss things on those terms... Some of the other proposed cuts - like the removal of the "Master of the House" scene-setting preamble - were tried out in previews and then restored as the scenes would not work without them."

From a historical perspective that quote is invaluable. As will be brought up in a later blog post (notice a pattern today?) the musical would in fact be cut much later to avoid overtime charges. When people like myself have expressed the opinion that these cuts come at the expense of artistic integrity, I've seen others defend them by claiming that the overtime costs never were relevant to Cameron and the gang until Broadway sales began to go down, and that if they were taken into account the musical may well be in its shortened form from the beginning. However, this quote proves that argument to be false. Right from day one, the crew was aware that retaining a >3 hour runtime would come with severe financial costs, but this was deemed a worthy sacrifice in order to tell the story they wanted told. Indeed, it sounds like Cameron Mackintosh was waiting quite some time to enact his infamous cuts! (Cameron Mackintosh valuing profit above art?! Crazy, right??)

But I digress. Going back to the musical, the "Waltz of Treachery" number is mostly the same. However, after Valjean's "It won't take you too long to forget" line, R1 has over a minute of wordless vamping which leads right into the rather awkwardly-placed "Stars" song. By contrast, in R2 this vamping (which is still a minute long, mind you) leads into a humming duet between Little Cosette and Valjean, similar to the duet right before the number. A nice little bookend that makes the scene feel all the more resolved. (Much later this duet reprise would ironically be scrapped again, though!) The remaining segment of R1's vamping now plays after this sequence in R2.

Minus some unintentional missed lines at the beginning of "Stars" in R1, the recordings seem to follow the same libretto right up until "One Day More". Here, R1 uses the following lines:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

Was there ever love so true?

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

However, by R2 this scene is in its current form:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

And I swear I will be true

And that closes act one! Going on to the second act, the opening barricade scene has a few changes. First off, following the opening notes, R1 features a rather odd tune bearing resemblance to "Do You Hear the People Sing" (which can be heard here) before transitioning to a more true-to-form instrumental reprise of "Do You Hear the People Sing?" By contrast, R2 goes straight from the opening notes to the true-to-form reprise.

Next, Enjolras proclaims "Have faith in yourself and do not be afraid" in R1, while in R2 he instead states "Every man to his duty and don't be afraid". It's unknown if this was an intentional libretto change or if it simply reflects a flub during R1. A later sequence uses the "Have faith in yourself" line, meaning he may have just sung the wrong line for that particular scene.

Finally, R1 includes the following sequence (at least I think this is how it goes, since the lyrics are a little hard to hear):

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And join with you

Who gives a speech in the square

Fortunately, R2 uses a much less clunky (though still somewhat so) sequence:

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And so they might

Some will bark, some will bite

This isn't quite its current form ("dogs" and "fleas" will soon respectively replace the two usages of "some"), but it's pretty darn close.

I've heard that the very first Barbican preview(s?) didn't have a finalized opening to "On My Own". Sadly there is no known audio record of this, so I cannot comment on what exactly it began as. As such, the next major change takes place during Gavroche's death scene. This honestly is probably the biggest of all the changes between the two recordings. R1 uses the following death scene (in the tune of "Look Down" right up until the "So never kick a dog" verse, which is in the tune of "Little People"):

How do you do, my name’s Gavroche

These are my people, here’s my patch

Not much to look at, nothing posh

Nothing that you’d call up to scratch

Some fool, I bet, whose brains are made of fat

Picks up a gun and shoots me down

Nobody told him who he’s shooting at

He doesn’t know who runs this town

Life’s like that

There’s some folk

Missed the joke

That’s three, that’s three

That one has done for me

Too fast, too fast

They’ve got Gavroche at last

So never kick a dog

Because he’s just a pup

You better run for cover when the pup grows...

By contrast, R2 uses a much shorter variant which is set entirely to the tune of "Little People":

And little people know

When little people fight

We may look easy picking but we've got some bite

So never kick a dog

Because he's just a pup

You'd better run for cover when the pup grows up

And we'll fight like twenty armies and we won't give...

This is much closer to its current form, although the last two lines are inverted (we'll get to that in a later edition).

We now fast-forward to "Dog Eats Dog", which while recognizable is very different from the number we know today. The chorus of R1 claims that "It's a dirty great sewer that's crawling with rats", which R2 changes it to "stinking great sewer" instead. I'd definitely say the revised lyric better captures Thenardier's and the sewer's grossness.

Additionally, regarding Marius' ring, Thenardier originally exclaims that he "didn't mean to waste it, that would really be a crime". By R2, the line changes to "wouldn't want to waste it", which I'd say makes a lot more sense.

"Javert's Suicide" has changed a lot. R1 features the following remarks following "Vengeance was his and he gave me back my life":

Damned if I live in this caper of grace

Damned if I live in the debt of Valjean

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

Is this the law or has sanity gone?

(I'm a little unsure as to how accurate the final line is.)

By R2, the lines have been replaced with the current ones:

Damned if I live in the debt of a thief

Damned if I yield at the end of the chase

I am the law and the law is not mocked

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

In R1, the "Where's the new world, now the fighting's done" line is absent, and there is nothing but instrumentals in the segment where it is usually sung. By contrast, it is sung as usual in R2. My guess is that an actress simply forgot her line in R1 and it was always supposed to be there, though I can't say for sure.

The final change occurs at the wedding scene. The singing which opens the number is repeated in R1. By contrast, R2 has it sung once and then done with, as it currently is (and as it should be in my opinion, since the music isn't particularly pretty and contributes nothing to the plot).

Later in the same scene, R1 includes approximately this exchange (again, it's quite hard to make out the exact lyrics):

(THENARDIER)

I was there

Never fear

Even got me this fine souvenir

He was there

Her old dad

*indecipherable* and fleecing this lad

Robbed the dead

That's his way

(MME. THENARDIER)

That's worth five hundred any old day

(MARIUS)

I know this...

By R2, everything between "He was there" and "Any old day" were removed, which makes sense given that they essentially just rehash what was already said.

Finally, there's a subtle difference in the epilogue, specifically during the "Do You Hear the People Sing?" reprise. In R1, the ensemble sings "They will live again in glory in the garden of the Lord". R2 replaces the word "glory" with "freedom", and that word remains the one used to this day. I suppose "freedom" is more appropriate for the context of peace and prosperity. To many, I'd guess that "glory" conjures imagery of knights, battles, and the like; just the kind of violence that the characters wish to move away from! I have no idea if this was why the writers changed the lyric, but it's my hypothesis.

Towards the end of the show, the chorus in R1 sings "Even the darkest moon will end and the sun will rise". By R2, this is changed to "the darkest night". Makes more sense to me, since moons aren't known for being particularly dark!

And that just about sums this part up! If I missed anything feel free to let me know, as my goal is to create a changelog as thorough and complete as possible. I plan on making more parts in the near future covering all the changes that have been made in the show up until this day (discounting concerts). Any feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

As a side note, both for this project and my own enjoyment, I want as complete a collection of Les Miserables audios as possible. I already have most of what's commonly circulated, but if you have any audios or videos you know are rare, I'd love it if you DMed me!

Until the turntable puts me at the forefront again, good-bye...

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep 23

Seriously, how useless are these two right now? The puppets all dropped dead around them, yet none of them run up to help Wei Wuxian. I think we saw Lan Wangji running, but he just had dramatic close-up shots for the first few minutes as well. Like, stop looking dumbfounded and stop just providing facial reactions to things, and get up there! Act like you're in a war, gdi! They're reacting to seeing Wen Ruohan stabbed, which I chose not to cap for obvious reasons.

So even though I knew the story from the book, I still think this moment is pretty cool when they reveal that it's Jin Guangyao who has stabbed Wen Ruohan literally and figuratively in the back. The last time we saw him, poor Nie Mingjue was getting the crap beat out of him by Jin Guangyao, so seeing this here--like, ooh! Double-double-cross! Triple-cross!! It's fun to see a twist that doesn't make you groan! Because, of course, you want to root for Jin Guangyao because he's a bastard and has always been looked down on everyone. Now you see that he was not a villain at all, and he was actually helping the good guys by double-crossing Wen Ruohan! Of course, we know he really is a villain and all, but most of that really doesn't come until later in the story haha.

I do enjoy the light parallels here between Lan Xichen and his brother. We see both of them willing to give their best friends the benefit of the doubt and protect them from those who are less willing, let's say. And both of them are even willing to stand up to other people they know and trust. Nie Mingjue is one of Lan Xichen's closest friends, and we see Lan Wangji stand up to his own uncle. If you're looking at CQL without the romance angle (which, why would you?), this parallel is a bit more striking. You basically have two sets of bosom friends. Obviously one set crumbles at the end, but there are definitely a lot of parallels and comparisons to make. And sorry, for a show that couldn't have any gay characters, they sure made it seem like Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao had a thing for each other (even though neither of them is gay in the book, mind you). A weird sort of change--I don't even ship them, but their early scenes seemed very shippy. Maybe it's my American lens, I don't know.

But speaking of weird changes, allow me to go on a tangent. Wen Qing's role expansion doesn't bother me, not really. I kind of say it does, but it's not really the expansion that gets to me. It's the fact that she was going to be a love interest for Wei Wuxian that bothers me. Wei Wuxian is gay. He's gay. Lan Wangji is also gay--if not gayer. Her being a love interest for either one of them means they are no longer gay. Bi, maybe, but what that would have done was erase their canon sexuality. It would have also turned their relationship into that horribly tropey brothers-in-arms or whatever name you want to give it--basically JUST FRIENDS who want to defend each other's honor. You can certainly read CQL that way, but if you are, I don't think you're paying attention to Wang Yibo's performance at all. And if you're not paying attention to the second lead, then why are you watching this show at all? So, changing their sexuality changes the whole show (which already is so tropey, from what I understand) into something so derivative, I wouldn't even want to bother watching it. One of the things I think you take away from CQL is Lan Wangji's, frankly, undying love for Wei Wuxian. If he goes and has a fling with Wen Qing at any point, that cheapens his character dramatically in my opinion. Lots of people can say this better than me, and probably have, but I'm very grateful to those passionate fans (and to Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo) for helping to change the script from the original drafts, which were frankly no better than a junky harlequin romance, having Wen Qing passed around like a piece of meat, which is so far from her character in the novel, and definitely a disservice to her.

Not gonna lie, it's adorable to think that Jiang Yanli and Lan Wangji have been talking over the past few days, maybe having tea together, while Wei Wuxian is in a coma. I feel Lan Wangji was a very calming presence for Jiang Yanli, because she was probably very worried and fretful over Wei Wuxian. I like the idea of him playing the guqin for Wei Wuxian, and then having tea and a quiet chat with Jiang Yanli before leaving. Also very cute that Wei Wuxian is half-heartedly trying to badmouth Lan Wangji, by calling him boring and uninteresting, but he can't even get through the sentence without smiling to himself. Obviously he's loving the idea that Lan Wangji has been at his side every day, worrying over him and slowly doing his part to nurse him back to health.

I love his expression here: shock and relief and joy, all mixed together upon seeing that Wei Wuxian has woken up. Obviously he knew he'd wake up eventually, but he didn't expect it so soon and I don't think he expected his heart to be in his throat and to be so indescribably happy to see Wei Wuxian awake.

Wei Wuxian, of course, can't really meet his eyes, and Jiang Yanli makes a swift exit (she knows what's up--these boys need to talk). And Lan Wangji just has love in his eyes: Heart-guang Jun. I mean, imagine how he must be feeling right now. He had just gotten Wei Wuxian back from what seemed like certain death, finally reconciled, and then Wei Wuxian is in a coma! He must have been terrified of losing him again. It's probably all he can do right now to not hug Wei Wuxian.

I seriously love everything about this scene. I love the colors, the cinematography, the longing glances Wei Wuxian gives Lan Wangji, the way Lan Wangji quietly scolds him while still playing the guqin because he's a professional. But really, I just find this scene very pretty and moving and emotional. I enjoy seeing Lan Wangji getting to take care of him and even more that Wei Wuxian lets him and puts up with it. I think most of us are quick to retort a good old, "I'm fine" when asked how we are, but in this case, Wei Wuxian is not fine, and he has no ground to stand on if he's trying to prove that. It's hard for Wei Wuxian at this point, though, to really lean on anyone, even Lan Wangji who is his best friend. He certainly can't lean on Jiang Cheng for reasons I don't think I need to go into again. He kind of leans on Yanli, but at the same time, he can't (and doesn't wish to) burdon her either. Lan Wangji is really the one person he should be able to lean on and seek comfort from, but he feels awkward and uncomfortable, because of the dark spiritual energy and giving up the sword, and Lan Wangji's crusade to help him.

"Who is good and who is evil?" Wei Wuxian is struggling with a moral dilemma: is it right to round up the Wens and kill them/hold them captive? The Wens did horrible things, after all, and this is the reality of war. Of course, we've just seen Lan Xichen struggling with it as well. Why capture the women and children and elderly, who have nothing to do with the war? He's only met with the fact that it's not just the male cultivators who are dangerous. Still, his mind is only placated by the lie that the people will just be interrogated and sent to a labor camp--then cut to the blood on the floor. So Wei Wuxian is not only struggling with what the Jin Clan and other clans are doing, but he's also thinking about his own deeds--how many people did he kill? How many did he brutally murder in the name of revenge? Because of the things he's done, is he good or evil? Is good and evil so black and white? Does it just depend on whose lens you're viewing it through?

Lan Wangji looks at Wei Wuxian with all of this knowledge and doesn't know what to think. He's afraid of what Wei Wuxian has become, afraid he'll end up like Wen Ruohan--he's afraid of losing him entirely. But the situation is not black and white, and good and evil is not so easily defined. You can only know once you know that person's heart, and Wei Wuxian isn't really letting Lan Wangji in anymore. He's trying to convince him with his words, but that is simply not good enough.

I think if Lan Wangji hadn't stopped him here, Wei Wuxian would have played that flute and tried to end all of the Jin "hunting party" (sorry, that was a little dark). His emotions were already high after the conversation with Lan Wangji on the cliff, and we've already seen him feeling disturbed by how the Wens are being chased and rounded up. I, for one, wouldn't have complained if Jin Zixuan's cousin bit the dust earlier. I think his name is Jin Zixun. Is that it? See, even I don't remember him.

I love how even though they are far apart, this scene still feels very intimate. It's very moving, and the music and the cinematography help to cultivate that feeling. I like how Wei Wuxian perks up when he hears Lan Wangji pluck the first few notes, and Lan Wangji does the same when he hears the sound of Wei Wuxian's flute. I feel like they are spiritually connected here as they play this haunting duet. And I think it's a connection they haven't felt for a long time. There has been so much tension between them for so long, and this scene feels like a big sigh from both of them. While I still feel like there is tension present, there is a bit of a release here--at least, that's how I feel as a viewer.

Ah, yes, the awkward period where Jiang Cheng has become leader of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, wants to control Wei Wuxian, but doesn't know how. He's new at this, so I can't blame him for being a bit awkward as he figures out what he's supposed to be doing. As a young man, he basically nagged Wei Wuxian for doing inappropriate things, but now when Wei Wuxian misbehaves, Jiang Cheng is in part responsible for that behavior. At some point or another, the two of them grew up. Wei Wuxian's misbehavior isn't precocious anymore--it's serious and it has consequences, and just as in Gusu, Jiang Cheng sees that those actions are a reflection of the Jiang Clan. Only now, they aren't just a reflection of the clan, they're also a reflection of Jiang Cheng, himself, and his leadership (or lack thereof).

And speaking of awkward...Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have some...unresolved...stuff to deal with. But God forbid they actually talk right now. How can they? They're at this stuffy banquet that neither one of them want to be at. I feel for them both. Wei Wuxian is hurt because he thinks Lan Wangji doesn't trust him. Lan Wangji feels terrible because he wants to help Wei Wuxian, but the latter won't really let him in and allow him to do so. I feel myself just on pins and needles during these scenes with all these glances, but at the same time, I love it because DRAMA and ANGST! And they're just so in love lolol.

Nie Mingjue has to be that guy that always wants a certain table. The waiter leads him over and says, "Is this table okay?" expecting the answer to be yes, but nope--not Nie Mingjue. He'll request a different table. XD

I love this little conversation--it's like they're both measuring each other up. I think they each have a healthy distrust of the other. Although Wei Wuxian has always been kind to Jin Guangyao, I don't think that discounts the whole demonic cultivation thing in his mind. He knows Wei Wuxian is smart and clever and, most importantly, capable. And as for Wei Wuxian, I don't think the ease in which Jin Guangyao manipulated Wen Ruohan is lost on him.Essentially the downfall of this great cultivator and enemy of all the other clans was due to one man: Jin Guangyao. I think Wei Wuxian is thinking the same thing I am: he's extremely clever, devious, and potentially dangerous if you get on his bad side. His rise to power within the Jin Clan is kind of amazing. His estranged father admits to Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen that Jin Guangyao is his son, his station has improved drastically in a short amount of time. He sure as hell is dangerous.

Jiang Yanli can hardly contain her excitement when Jin Guangshan brings up her former engagement to his son. Just kidding, of course. I'm kind of horrified for her that he's bringing this up now in front of all these people. It feels very much like he's pressuring not only her, but also his son to get engaged again. First of all, Jiang Fengmian and Jin Guangshan agreed at the time to let the children decide whether they wanted to get married or not. Second, if you're going to talk about this, at least do it in private! Third, this is not letting the kids decide. God, this would be humiliating! And I also totally expected Jiang Cheng to speak for his sister here, so I'm glad he didn't do that. It's really none of his business either.

Lol! The weird cutoff here! Who's speaking??? I don't know!!! I mean, obviously, it's Wei Wuxian, but it's like they don't expect us to recognize his voice hahahahaha.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | Or just check out the #CQL Rewatch hashtag

[themurphyzone]

PatB: Snowball Ep Talk

You know, I really do love the episode Snowball (my personal favorite AKOM episode) but I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it here much, and if I did it’s probably really only because of the flashback sequence. 

Okay so all looks good so far. Chain letter scheme and superstition, a standard introduction to Brain’s latest plot of world domination. All looks good. Plus I just like this shot of Pinky. Don’t mind me, just starting off light here with a smushed Pinky. 

I just like Pinky’s pose here. He’s so cute. 

You will bow before Troz.

“I met a Snowball today! Right here in the lab!” -Pinky

You know, I just find the implications of this line hysterical. This means that Snowball was in the lab that day, waiting for the moment to strike, and he definitely pushed his stolen chain letter through the mail slot. 

And then he lets Pinky see him, and no it’s not just a passing glance either cause Pinky specifically describes a tattoo with an A and a circle and points to his leg. Which means Snowball deliberately lifted the fur on his leg and showed his tattoo to Pinky. 

Like, wow. 

“It means, Pinky, that evil lurks among us. By the name of Snowball! SNOWBALLLLLLLL!” -Brain 

Talk about a bad breakup. *Alexa play Bad Blood*

Personally I think one of the interesting visual cues is that Snowball purposely plants himself into the mice’s space. There’s a lot of that in this episode. He knows how to rile up Brain and hit him where it hurts, namely through Pinky. 

Brain values his personal space, and he values a sense of control. When Snowball invades that space, Brain loses control, and his anger can lead him to make some very ill-informed decisions. Which is exactly what Snowball aims for. 

“You think Pinky is an asset?” 

“Anything I can take from you is an asset.”

Ah yes, Snowball’s mission statement. Crush everything Brain has into dust. 

The flashback sequence. Dear God this flashback sequence. They were both so cute! 

You know, it’s really sad that a younger Brain acted more like Pinky. Making silly faces and trying to get someone to laugh are such Pinky things to do. I know canon is loose but if you consider this flashback taking place shortly after Brain was captured from the wild, then young Brain didn’t gain a grasp on what happened to him until after the gene splicer.  

Ok but Brain was literally right there when the gene splicer exploded. Imagine having your cranium size dramatically increase, you’re injured, you’ve suddenly gained sentience, and as if all that wasn’t enough, you see the gene splicer explode with your only friend inside. 

Oh, and said friend’s mind was probably damaged in the explosion and now he hates your guts. And though you’re angry with him for his betrayal, some part of you will never stop caring about him. 

Once again, Snowball needs to learn to keep his hands to himself. 

This conversation here establishes Snowball as the perfect third character. He appears only in a handful of eps, but he’s fun to watch and love to hate. Snowball challenges the mice’s relationship. Snowball sees the weak points; the insults, the reliance on each other, and twists them to his advantage. And Pinky even admits he’s hurt by Brain’s insults occasionally, though he still loves being around him. 

“Pinky, the Brain doesn’t care about you. He’s just using you.” 

“No, he’s not.”

It’s really interesting to me how Pinky denies Snowball’s statement, yet his ears go down to show that he’s affected by the idea of being used. Pinky and the Brain may be night and day, but one thing they do have in common is their tendency to deny certain things. Brain with emotions and affection and Pinky with concepts he’d rather not admit the possibility of. 

Coming back to this later. 

Non plot related but Brain is teeny tiny and I love how he just trusts Pinky to catch him

Side note: I apologize if any of these screenshots look weird. It’s an AKOM ep. 

WHY ARE YOU TWO SO BAD AT SNEAKING AROUND. 

I just find it hilarious how they clearly run around where Snowball can see and hear them. Like they just shout Snowball’s name in the middle of the room. You’re terrible at being sneaky little mice. Please. 

Those dang boomers and their old timey 90s computers. Technology is ruining boomers. Can’t even hold a conversation anymore cause they keep looking at their screens. 

No touchy! 

Well, it’s awful nice of Snowball to engage in nepotism and offer Brain a position in his administration...and then tempt Pinky with an amusement park when he refuses. 

You really gotta appreciate the complexity of Snowball’s plans. Stealing the chain letter fails->plant seeds of doubt in Pinky’s mind, even if this doesn’t work right off the bat, the idea will still be there-> take over a corporation->impersonate Bill Gates->When the mice show up, offer to co-rule the world on expectations that Brain will refuse->make co-ruler offer to Pinky->wait for Brain to open his big mouth and drive Pinky away. 

All to take everything Brain has. His dignity, Pinky, his meager resources. Like holy Snowball, Batman.  

And then Snowball reveals the amusement park he had specifically built for Pinky. 

And here we have the most heartbreaking line of the ep. If I had the ability video edit I would’ve put the entire line on audio because Brain’s tone is very important here. It’s about 12:38 to 12:57 in the ep if you want to see for yourself. 

“Oh, go ahead, Pinky. I don’t need you. What did you think, I just have you around so I can steal your brilliant ideas and claim them as my own? That I’m just using you, Pinky? Oh yes, I’m using you for your brilliance!” 

First of all, very poor word choice, especially to someone who has trouble understanding sarcasm. I just want to dissect this statement here. 

The Literal Meaning: You’re an idiot to think you were ever more than an assistant. 

This is what Pinky hears. 

But if you listen to Brain’s tone rather than just reading the line, he sounds genuinely hurt that Pinky would ever be tempted by something as frivolous as an amusement park. It’s Pinky, so he just sees ‘ooh fun rides, cotton candy, and carnival games’! 

But Brain is perfectly aware that this is Snowball’s well-crafted method of taking away the only thing he truly has, and he knows it’s working. And he’s hurt. 

The Actual Meaning: Snowball’s trying to separate us and you’re falling for it, Pinky. You may be an idiot, but many of my plans never would’ve come to fruition without you. You’re much more than an assistant. You’re my friend and my world.  

Unfortunately, all Pinky hears is that Brain was only using him. That Brain values him for manual labor and an extra hand only, rather than a treasured companion. The fact that Brain often falls short of making Pinky feel appreciated just adds to this. 

And now that he no longer has Pinky, Brain’s spirit is crushed. Brain is persistent, but without Pinky, he has no reason to be. 

As far as he knows, his only two friends have turned their backs on him and couldn’t care less if he has nowhere else to go. 

Poor thing. He needs hugs. 

“I didn’t think it was possible. Humanity has actually gotten dumber.” -Brain

OK I think this one shot establishes what the world would be like under Snowball. His name is everywhere, and he tells the population to do stupid things just to bask in his own superiority. 

However, I can’t see Brain putting his name on every building so frivolously like this if he ruled the world. Sure, he’d name a bunch of things after himself and Pinky, but it would be more meaningful to them. 

Brain wants humanity to advance, not regress. 

Poor Pinky. Despite all this new extravagance and luxury, he’s also lonely. The room and bed are large, but it lacks personality. He’s sleeping with an ACME Labs snow globe, and other than a reference to Citizen Kane, it also shows that he’s not happy with this. 

The worst thing in the world for these mice is separation from each other. 

Suicide by cat. 

Poor little guy can’t make it on his own. Luckily, he snaps out of it. 

“My world. I must save MY world!” 

Said while looking at a picture of Pinky. Real subtle there Brain. 

“Look, you fool. You have no brilliant ideas. I’m only using you to get at him! So just stay quiet!” -Snowball

“You’re...using me?” -Pinky

He was just a bargaining chip. Never a friend. 

“What do you want?” 

“My friend. And MY world!”

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

He makes martial arts noises like a dork. I love him. 

I love how their characters are reflected in the mecha designs (also I had no idea Snowball was Iron Man!) 

Snowball’s is overall the more efficient design. It’s also much more combat ready and violent. In comparison, Brain’s suit is simply operated with a bunch of levers. It’s alright for peaceful situations like getting around faster or simply blending with a human population, but in a straight up fight the levers take too much time to operate. 

Snowball is more efficient than Brain, and while he’s got the ego, he lacks the insecurities that hold Brain back. His confidence makes him such an effective foe. And more importantly, Snowball doesn’t value Pinky’s companionship. He’s a tool and nothing more. Compare that to Brain. While Brain struggles at showing it, he ultimately wants Pinky’s input and values his jumbo-sized heart. 

Somewhat off topic, but I feel like the reboot missed this aspect of Brain and made him too overly edgy and violent (reboot!Brain would probably prefer Snowball’s mecha design over his counterpart’s). The only time Brain should become violent, if not for comedy, is when he’s protecting Pinky. His plans should have a level of restraint to them, and Pinky is the moral compass.  

I just like this shit-eating grin right here (I mean, he did eat shit in Welcome to the Jungle so...lol)

This is such an insanely clever move for Pinky. I feel like Brain would be like ‘oh my god Pinky!’ and then ‘wow, that’s actually brilliant what the heck is this tingling feeling’. 

ACME LABS IS IN NEW YORK CITY??????

I know this is a case of Where the Hell is Springfield but gdi aren’t they supposed to be in southern California. 

Ok fine I realize the ending to this ep is a reference to North by Northwest cause they somehow got to Mt. Rushmore but still 

Weird tangent but North by Northwest’s ending bothers me (not gonna fault this ep as it’s just a parody)? I’m sorry the girl is barely hanging onto Mt. Rushmore, the dude pulls her up, and then they have sex in a car. The sudden transition always seemed weird to me. 

I am ending this analysis post with a weird shot of Snowball cause i can and it’s his episode. 

[hotpinkhoshi]

long hot summer (m) | jinyoung

as part of the pleasure chest: a got7 cringe collaboration

pairing: jinyoung x f reader genre: smut warnings: terrible innuendos, second hand embarrassment, explicit sex, light choking word count: 4.8k

summary: it’s been a long, hot summer, and you’ve got your eye on jinyoung, the sexy gardener your dad hired back in june - and when you’re left alone with the house to yourself for a whole week, you devise a plan to finally get what you want. when daddy’s away, his darling daughter will play…

a/n: hehe hi guys! this was super fun to write, even though i played myself by waiting until the very last minute to write it. for that reason, it is mostly unedited so cut me some slack if you see any weird typos hahaha. anyway, thank you to the other writers in the collab for such a fun experience! i’m so glad i got to be a part of this! enjoy!

You awoke on Thursday morning with the same excitement that you’d had on Christmas morning when you were ten.

Today’s the day!

For weeks, you’d schemed and planned, researched and daydreamed. And now it was time to put all of your preparation to good use and get yourself the one thing you’d been wanting for the last two months.

Today, you were going to seduce your gardener.

Well, your father’s gardener, to be specific. You’d had your eye on him since the first day he pulled up in that forest green, beat up pickup truck with the giant lawnmower in the bed.

He was young, maybe a year or two older than you, but you weren’t sure. Your dad told you his name was Jinyoung and he’d started his own business after graduating high school, mostly just maintaining the massive yards of the upper middle class citizens of your neighborhood.

That was all fine and dandy, but most importantly, Jinyoung was hot.

He always wore the same thing—a plain white t-shirt tucked into a pair of jeans, and you didn’t even care that they were light wash and could use a tailor’s touch. The way he rolled the sleeves up to his shoulders, showing off the corded muscles from years of manual labor, made you forget all about his hideous jeans.

Every Thursday, Jinyoung rolled up in his truck and took care of your dad’s lawn while you stood in the kitchen staring out the window like a peeping Tom. You were completely aware that you were objectifying him, but it had been quite a while since anyone had watered your buds, and you had become shameless.

But this week, this week you’d decided to make a move.

Your dad was away on business for five days, leaving you with the house completely to yourself. You had put your time to good use, clicking away and devising a plan to get into Jinyoung’s pants.

Your research began on Monday when your best friend, Jongin, had come over. You had a strange relationship, but that was to be expected when you had known him since diapers. He also happened to have taken your virginity, but it wasn’t as awkward as one would think.

“Guys like it when a girl takes charge,” Jongin told you, reaching for a slice of pizza off the coffee table. You laid on the floor, staring up at the ceiling while taking mental notes of everything he told you.

“Take charge how?”

“I don’t know, like, make the first move. Just get on top of him and…” Jongin gestured vaguely with his hands, squeezing the air.

“And what? Grab his boobs?” You pursed your lips together, tossing a spare chunk of crust at him.

“If that’s what he’s into,” Jongin defended with a playful smirk on his lips. “Look, I’m just saying, it’s hot when you know a girl is into you and you don’t have to guess.”

Chewing your lip, you stored the information away for later. “What should I wear? Like, should I just walk outside in my bikini?”

Jongin snorted. “You could, yeah. Some guys are simple like that.”

“Hmm…” you propped yourself up on your elbows. “He doesn’t seem simple. He’s like, mysterious and quiet.”

“Doesn’t matter, I bet he’ll still stare at your ass while you walk away.”

You smirked. Luckily, you had stayed committed to your squats this summer.

“Okay, so I make a move. Then what?”

Jongin looked at you like you had two heads. “What do you mean, then what? Then you guys do the deed.”

Sighing dramatically, you flopped back onto the floor. You wanted more than that—you wanted him to end the day thinking about how sexy you were, how it had been his hottest experience ever. You wanted him to tell his friends about it at parties.

The next night, you continued your quest for knowledge with some visual aids. You got yourself all comfy and tucked in bed, laptop resting on your lap while you scrolled through Pornhub.

Jongin was right—it was hot when the girls took charge. Sure, there was something to be said for the submissive, meek girl that dropped to her knees on command, but you wanted control.

As you got deeper into the black hole of XXX websites, you found yourself becoming more and more nervous. You didn’t look like the girls in these videos, with their perfectly trimmed pubic hair and their toned physiques. Your boobs were less than half the size of some of these women.

You also didn’t find yourself naturally sexy, comfortable approaching a man and throwing yourself at him. But you wanted Jinyoung, and all of that trumped any kind of insecurity you could feel. Soon, you’d be back at college and you couldn’t live with yourself if you let the opportunity pass you by.

Cut to now—standing in the kitchen in your teeny tiny workout shorts and an equally revealing tank top, your yoga mat rolled up and tucked under your arm. You saw Jinyoung outside, kneeling in front of one of the flower beds and giving you the perfect view of his side profile.

When you were just about to slide open the glass door and put your plan into action, your phone vibrated on the kitchen table. You jumped and went to answer it promptly after you saw who was calling.

“Hi Daddy,” you said, setting your yoga mat on the floor.

“Hi love, how’s it going?”

“Good,” you answered, eyes still locked on the back yard. Jinyoung sat back on his heels, bringing his forearm up to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. God, he was the finest man you’d ever seen.

“Hey, I forgot to tell you, make sure you give Jinyoung the check I left on the counter for the week. And be nice to him, it’s hot outside today—invite him in for a glass of water or something.”

Your lips curled into a devious smile. “I’ll be nice to him. Don’t worry.”

“That’s my girl.”

Your dad talked your ear off for a bit longer, telling you all about his flight and something about conference calls, blah blah. All the while, you were entirely focused on something else.

Jinyoung had lifted the front of his shirt up to his face, wiping his sweat once more and revealing his washboard abs. It was only a few seconds, but you felt yourself come close to flatlining right there in the kitchen.

Your phone beeped against your ear, the alert tone signaling that you had a missed call. You glanced at the screen to find Jongin’s name on the notification.

“I have to go, Jongie called,” you told him.

“Oh alright, tell him I said hello. And be good,” your dad said.

“I will. Bye, Daddy.” You took the phone from your ear, returning Jongin’s call with a few taps.

“Hey ugly, how’s it going?”

“I’m going to fuck his brains out,” you answered simply.

Jongin choked on the other end. “Like, right now?”

“No,” you answered, going over to the fridge to pull open the door. “But I’m about to go out and start seducing him. He’s here and he’s so hot. I’m gonna go out, do some yoga, and see if he needs help… with his hose.”

Your best friend snorted. “Don’t say that.”

You grabbed two water bottles, both ice cold, and tucked them between your arm and your chest. “I want him to know that I want him.”

“Okay, well, if a girl referred to my dick as a hose I’m pretty sure it would shrivel up. Just go flash your tits and call it a day.”

Sighing, you shook your head even though he couldn’t see you, letting the fridge door shut behind you as you turned away. “No, that’s not sexy. Don’t worry, I’ve got this. I’ve been watching porn for two days straight.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ. Fine, just… look, just one little word of advice. Don’t make that face you made with me, the one when you came.”

You stopped in your tracks on your way back over to the door. “What face?”

Jongin cleared his throat. Your first time had been a long time ago just before graduation after a bottle of tequila and your confession that you didn’t want to go to college a virgin. He’d taken one for the team, giving you exactly six minutes of pleasure before finishing on your bedspread.

You hadn’t come, then, you’d simply faked it for his benefit. But still, you hadn’t realized anything you’d done had been unattractive. What if you did make a weird face when you came?

“You know what, nevermind. I don’t want to know. Goodbye, asshole.”

“Good luck, slut.”

With a sigh, you hung up and placed your phone back on the table. When you glanced outside, Jinyoung had moved further down the flower bed, giving you a nice view of his broad back, his shoulder muscles moving under his shirt with every move he made.

Be sexy. Don’t be weird.

You grabbed your mat by its strap and pushed open the glass door, walking out onto the concrete of your back patio and onto the grass. Your yard wasn’t as big as some of your neighbors’, but there was still a good amount of distance between you and Jinyoung. It wasn’t too awkward for you to lay your mat down across the freshly mowed grass, in direct sunlight.

When Jinyoung glanced back at you, you felt your heart jump in your chest, warm from the sun and his gaze. Fuck. Words, what were words?!

“Need some water?” you asked, holding one of the full bottles out in his direction. “You’re hot. I mean, it’s hot.” You gulped and prayed he hadn’t noticed the slip of your tongue.

Jinyoung stood from his knees, utterly silent, as he seemed to look you up and down. It was hard to tell with the sun in your eyes, but it almost looked like he had been checking you out.

He was quiet, still, even as he began walking towards you. As he got closer, you were desperately trying to keep your drool inside of your mouth. He reached out to grab the water bottle from you, surprising you with a dimpled half smile.

“Thanks.”

And then he walked away.

Fine, then you’d have to resort to plan B.

— x —

Plan B was a bust.

You’d laid out there for half an hour, sprawled out on your yoga mat as you contorted your body into several positions and stretches that had you aching in the worst of ways. Every time you looked at Jinyoung, he was focused on his job, pulling weeds or planting soil or whatever it was that he got paid to do.

With an exasperated sigh, you slammed the glass door shut behind you once you were back in the kitchen. Stupid boys. No, he wasn’t a boy. He was a man, and maybe that was the problem.

Grabbing your phone, you opened Jongin’s text thread.

You [12:07pm]: UGH. fuck this. Jongin [12:08pm]: no dick yet? You [12:08pm]: no. i basically turned myself into a pretzel and he couldn’t have cared less. my rose petals were in plain sight and he didn’t even look once Jongin [12:10pm]: LOL show him ur boobs

You groaned and furrowed your brows, fully prepared to explain to Jongin that you didn’t think anything would work at this point, when you heard the glass kitchen door slide open.

Jinyoung walked through, sweat dripping deliciously down his temples and down the vein lining his neck. “Hey, just need to wash my hands. I’ll just be a minute.”

Then he was so close to you, you could smell his cologne, mixed with the earthy scent of the garden he’d just had his hands buried into. He stared down at you, licking his lips while his gaze bored into you like he wanted something. No, needed something.

Maybe the tables had turned.

“Can you move?”

You blinked. “Huh?”

Jinyoung tipped his chin. “I need to wash my hands.”

You hadn’t realized it, but in your angry pacing while texting Jongin, you’d ended up standing right in front of the kitchen sink.

“Oh,” you breathed, and still didn’t move for another moment until annoyance flashed in Jinyoung’s eyes. You side stepped and watched as Jinyoung took your place, reaching to pump some soap onto his hands.

“So…” you started. All you needed to do was strike up a conversation, and it would be easy from there. “Do you need any help?”

Jinyoung glanced at you. “...Washing my hands?”

“No, like…” You used your shoulder to nudge towards the back yard. “Out there. I could help you, um, empty your hose.”

Oh, god. Jongin was right. It wasn’t sexy at all.

“I mean,” you tried again. “I could lend you a hand. If you know what I mean.”

If Jinyoung knew what you meant, he didn’t show any interest. He just shrugged and focused on scrubbing the dirt from his fingernails. You gulped at the way the veins on the back of his hands flexed. You wanted those hands on you, ASAP.

“Jinyoung,” you said, scooting an inch closer as you leaned back against the counter. “What I’m trying to say is…”

“I’ll stop you there,” he said, turning off the faucet. “I know where this is going. You’ve been staring at me all summer, and I know you’ve been trying to get my attention all afternoon.”

You blinked in surprise. Had you been that obvious? Well, of course you had. That was the goal, anyway. Jongin had told you it was sexy when a girl was obvious…

“I’m just trying to do my job,” Jinyoung said, reaching for a kitchen towel to wipe his hands. “Not looking to get murdered by your dad for defiling his perfectly innocent daughter.”

It took you a minute for his words to sink in, for you to realize that he hadn’t said he wasn’t interested. He wanted to defile you.

Just as Jinyoung went to leave, you grabbed his wrist. “Wait.”

Jinyoung sighed, turning back to you with dark eyes. “Let it go. Don’t test my patience.”

Something about the look in his eyes sent a shiver down your spine, images flashing through your mind of other ways that he could look at you, how you could get him to do more to you.

“Don’t you want to…” you bit your lip, emulating those girls you’d seen in videos, trailing your fingertips up his chest. “Touch me? I’ve prettied my flower up, just for you…”

Jinyoung gave you a look somewhere between uncomfortable and turned on. His hand came up to wrap around your wrist, his thumb pressed to your pulse point. “I said let it go.”

Warmth spread your entire body as Jinyoung gazed down at you, his callused fingers gripping tightly onto your wrist, stopping your fingers on their path up his chest. Something told you he wanted you, maybe just as bad as you wanted him, and it had quickly turned from a fantasy into a reality.

“Make me,” you told him.

When he didn’t respond, just swallowed hard and tensed his jaw, you reached with your free hand for his tool belt. You hooked your finger into the loop of the belt, pulling his body closer to you.

“Touch me, Jinyoung.”

“Don’t,” he growled, the sound shooting straight to your core.

“I’ll be a good girl. My dad never has to know,” you tried once more, looking up at him through your lashes. His breathing had gotten heavier and his eyes narrowed as they locked on yours. It felt like a bomb was about to go off, just tick-ticking away until he exploded.

“You have three seconds.”

Three.

You closed the gap between your bodies, sliding your hand from Jinyoung’s belt to find his free hand.

Two.

Wrapping your fingers around his hand, you led it to rest on your lower back.

One.

His hand, entirely on its own, slid from your lower back down along the curve of your backside to grip your ass. You swallowed, running your tongue across your lips. You felt like a woman starved and Jinyoung was your only source of a meal.

Finally, Jinyoung let go of your wrist and instead gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger, pulling you close until he could slam his lips upon yours. You whimpered at the rough contact, but your whimper quickly turned to a moan as soon as he brought your bodies together.

It was a blur after that.

You found the clasp to Jinyoung’s belt and quickly unbuckled it, letting it fall to the ground. You ignored the sound of the tools clanking against your kitchen floor, making a mental note that you’d have to sweep the dirt off the tiles before your dad got home.

Jinyoung made no move to take your clothes off--it seemed he was more than satisfied with kissing you and squeezing your ass. But you wanted more, you had been thirsting after him for so long, you wanted to cut to the chase.

What would those girls have done? They would take charge.

So you pulled back from the kiss and grabbed Jinyoung’s forearm, leading him without a word out of the kitchen and into the living room. The cleaning lady had already been here earlier, so you didn’t have to worry about Jinyoung catching sight of your half eaten bag of pretzels or the many issues of Cosmo you’d flipped through in these last few days.

You shoved him down to sit on the chair and knelt between his legs, shoving them apart so that you could occupy the space instead. Your fingers practically tore open the button and zipper of his jeans and you reached into his underwear, freeing his erection.

“Whoa, whoa, slow do-” Jinyoung started, but the words died on his tongue as soon as you got your mouth on him.

You bobbed your head, relishing in the feeling of his cock filling your mouth, the tip easily reaching the back of your throat each time you went down. You gagged and coughed, knowing how much guys loved that. You’d been told once, by Jongin of course, that all you needed to do to give a good blowjob was to be sloppy and enthusiastic.

“Mm,” you mumbled as your lips wrapped around the head, opening your eyes to stare up at Jinyoung. He was breathing hard, hands gripping the leather arm rests. You pulled off of him, replacing your mouth with your hand as you jerked him off. “You like that? You like… my mouth around your dick?”

Jinyoung groaned but reached for your hand, halting your efforts. He slid his other hand into your hair, pulling you away from his cock and making you look at him.

“Slow down, slow down.” He guided you with his own hand, creating a slow pace with your fingers wrapped around his length, his eyes still locked onto yours. “Fuck. Yeah, like that.”

“I wanna…” you thought for a moment, trying to recall all the dirty things you’d heard in all those videos. “Wanna fuck your cock. Want you to fuck me. Right here, just let you, uh, make me scream.”

You found yourself stuttering through it, not sure if you sounded so awkward because you’d never talked dirty in your life, or because you were just that turned on.

Jinyoung’s brows furrowed as he stared down at you, his expression getting less aroused and more confused as you continued to tell him all the things you wanted him to do to you.

“Hold on,” Jinyoung said, hand halting your movements once more. “I’m sorry, but what’s with the dirty talk? You sound like you stepped out of a sex hotline commercial.”

“Um,” you replied and felt your cheeks flush as you looked away, pursing your lips together. “I thought you’d like that. Guys like it when a girl takes charge, right?”

“Sure,” he answered. “But we aren’t in a porno. And something tells me you’ve seen a few too many of those.”

He had caught you red handed. Oh, maybe that was a poor choice of words when you currently had both hands gripped around his cock, steadily jerking him off.

“I-” You swallowed, lifting your eyes up to lock back onto Jinyoung’s. “Maybe I watched a few… to prepare for this.”

Then Jinyoung smiled. You stared up at him, confused, before he started to laugh. Not the best reaction you wanted while you were on your knees in front of a man, but this day was ending up a lot more uncomfortable than you had imagined.

“I see what happened here. Stand up,” he told you, and you obeyed, dropping your hands off of him down to rest at your sides. He pulled you down onto his lap as you rested your thighs on either side of his hips, his hands immediately sliding up the back of your shirt.

“I’m not going anywhere. There’s no reason we can’t take it slow, enjoy it. And trust me,” he said, his fingers gripping your sides as his thumbs grazed your rib cage. “I want to enjoy this.”

Jinyoung lifted your shirt above your head and tossed it to the side, revealing the baby blue sports bra that offered no support whatsoever, and you’d been grateful to finally have an excuse to wear it.

“Wait, watch this,” you told him, leaning back with an excited smile. You reached with one hand to the center of your chest, taking hold of the zipper that went straight down the middle of the bra. You pulled it down, freeing your breasts from the bra. “Surprise.”

Once again, Jinyoung laughed at you, but this time he had this fond look in his eyes that gave you a different type of goosebumps. He had a cute laugh, and an even cuter smile--you liked the little whiskers that formed next to his eyes.

You didn’t have much time to think about that before Jinyoung was leaning forward, trailing kisses across your chest, lips making a pathway to one breast. You moaned as soon as he sucked your nipple into his mouth, arching your back towards him.

Your hands slid into his hair, needing something to hold onto while he flicked his tongue back and forth. He pinched and squeezed the neglected nipple between his index finger and his thumb, earning a squeak out of you at his ministrations.

Out of all the guys you’d been with, you had never had one pay this much attention to you right off the bat. They’d all been immature college boys, ones that didn’t bother taking your bra off before fucking you. You’d only ever reached an orgasm during sex once or twice, and you’d only been half as turned on as you were now.

You moaned his name, grinding your hips down against his lap. You felt his hardened length pressing against your thigh, and all you wanted was to feel him inside of you. You were soaking through your underwear with arousal, core clenching around nothing in desperation.

He pulled away from your chest, kissing a line up to your collarbone and along your neck, nipping your jawline before he was kissing you again. You couldn’t get enough of him, wanting to feel and touch every inch of his body.

The fantasy idea you’d had in your mind was nothing compared to this. Jinyoung was an incredible kisser, his lips perfectly plump and surprisingly skilled. He was intense, licking into your mouth and nipping at your tongue, but you loved it. You wouldn’t have minded if he swallowed you whole, at this point.

For a few minutes, you just kissed, your hands roaming each other’s bodies. Jinyoung showed his appreciation for every curve of your body, no matter how different they were from the women you’d been imitating all afternoon. He seemed to like you just as you were.

You pulled away, briefly, to yank his shirt over his head and tossed it behind you. Your eyes widened as they traveled over his skin, mouth watering with desire. He was absolutely perfect.

“Stand up,” Jinyoung told you, hands gripping your hips. He slid his thumbs into the waistband of your shorts, waiting until you stood up to slide them down your legs along with your underwear.

“Condom?” you asked, trying to ignore just how bare you felt under his gaze.

Jinyoung’s eyes snapped from your body up to your face, an expression full of regret. “Shit. I don’t have one. Do you-”

You’d already scurried off, hurrying over to the closet where you kept your jackets, purses, and extra shoes. After some shuffling around and shoving your hands into the pockets of all the jackets, you finally found the small foil square you’d been praying for.

“Yes!” you squealed with happiness, practically running back over to where Jinyoung was waiting for you. You held up the condom as you climbed back on top of him. “I was a girl scout, you know. Always be prepared.”

Jinyoung shook his head with a chuckle as he took the condom from you, ripping it open. You watched as he slid the condom over his length, licking your lips. It was happening, really happening.

“You wet enough for me?” he asked, licking his thumb before he slid it down between your legs, circling your clit. You gasped, hips bucking towards him for more.

“Please,” you whimpered, placing your hands on his shoulders for balance. “I need you.”

With an easy movement, Jinyoung took his hand from your clit and gripped your hips, lifting you up to hover over his length. You reached down, lining the tip up with your entrance. You let out one long sigh as you lowered yourself down, feeling him fill you up completely.

“Fuck,” Jinyoung ground out and tipped his head back against the chair. “Good girl.”

You kept your eyes on him as you began moving your hips, tiny gasps and moans filling the room each time you came down on him again. You quickened your pace bit by bit, reaching for one of Jinyoung’s hands and guiding it to your throat.

You were no longer trying to replicate any videos you’d seen or follow any advice from your idiotic best friend, you simply wanted Jinyoung and were completely acting upon your own desires.

Jinyoung opened his eyes, previously closed in bliss, and stared up at you. He licked his lips and clenched his teeth, adjusting his hand to wrap around your neck. He kept a gentle grip as you bounced on top of him, the volume of your moans reaching higher and higher.

“Oh, oh,” you cried out, breathless, as Jinyoung squeezed your throat. “Don’t stop.”

Your pace began to slow out of pure fatigue, but Jinyoung didn’t miss a beat. He planted his feet on the floor and thrusted into you, the tip of his cock hitting even deeper inside of you than he had before.

Now, you were practically screaming as Jinyoung fucked you, your entire body bouncing and jolting up and down from the sheer power behind his thrusts. All you could do was hold onto his forearm as he pounded into you.

It didn’t take much longer for the heat to build inside of you, the intense pleasure bringing you closer and closer to the edge. You felt hot all over, as if flames were licking at your whole body the closer you got to your peak.

“That’s it,” he told you, his other hand sliding to your ass to grip the flesh as he drove into you as if determined to completely unravel you. “Come for me. Let go.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, your entire body tensing. You were completely helpless to him, loving the way his skin slapped yours each time he thrusted inside of you. With one final cry, your body began to jerk as waves of hot pleasure washed over you in an unending hurricane.

Vaguely, you registered the sound of Jinyoung groaning through his teeth, his fingers tightening around your neck for a few short seconds before he emptied inside the condom. He thrusted inside of you a few more times, panting from underneath of you.

You finally opened your eyes after you’d come down from your orgasm, finding Jinyoung looking equally exhausted after his own climax. You sighed as he dropped his hand from your neck and you took a gulp of air.

“Holy honeysuckle,” you said, body falling forward to rest against him.

A few quiet moments later, Jinyoung was stroking his hands up and down your back, a surprisingly tender action for someone that had just fucked all your brain cells out. He was so warm, and it felt so natural to have his arms wrapped around you like this.

You lifted your head from his chest and stared down at him, searching for the words to say to break the silence.

“Well,” you started, lifting one side of your mouth into a smile. “Your hose is empty.”

Jinyoung grimaced and groaned, playfully nudging you away from him. “Aaaand now you’ve ruined it.”

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #17: “Hate Floats” | July 2, 2006 - 10:30PM | S02E02

The serialization continues as the show deals with the fallout from the end of season one. “Hate Floats” is yet another jam-packed, but a little more tightly-plotted than the last one. I did not particularly remember this one fondly, except for the great opening scene. I'm taking it all back! This one is really wonderful. It's just not terribly specific.

The plot, she is this: First we start out with 21 & 24 getting a call from the Monarch, who informs them that they are to get the Monarch's floating cocoon/secret lair operational and staffed with henchmen. They are so excited to be back henching that they gloss over the Monarch's death threat ultimatum and gleefully do exactly what he asked, filling out the rest of the henchmen with some real hood style gangstas if you know what I'm saying. For some reason I misremembered this as being day-laborers, but that’d probably be more of a Minoriteam joke. But that part comes later, anyway. The opening segment actually ends with 21 & 24 doing a dramatic rendition of some meaningful super-villain theme song by going “dun dun dun”. It's so charming and fun. It's one of the best scenes they ever did, damn!

Meanwhile: Hank and Dean are back! They pop out of their learning beds and are immediately greeted with birthday cake like they're Frosty the Snowman and shit. I mean, the birthday part not the cake. Frosty never got cake. Good shirt idea. Please, more people like and enjoy me so I can make/sell that shirt. Please nobody steal this idea. Just... just fucking wait a few months for this blog to become wildly popular and then if you want you can e-mail and let me know you were one of those people who was nice about not stealing my shirt idea and I’ll hook you up with some free ones. Anyway, this episode also marks the first instance of clone-lore being extended past the “get us out of a series cliffhanger jam” gaggery of it all, by having the henchmen surprise react to Hank and Dean being still alive after they killed them. This bit does come back in the series.

So the episode is actually about the Monarch trying to forcibly win back Dr. Girlfriend by ambushing her and Phantom Limb at the mall. They run into the Ventures, who wind up in the cross-fire. There's a squirmy gag where Dr. Venture's eyeball pops out of it's socket and is dangling. What winds up happening is everyone gets split up and forms an uneasy alliance; the gangsta henchmen take over the cocoon and throw the Monarch, 21, & 24 into the Monarch's jail cell. Brock winds up with Phantom Limb, who nurses Brock back to health after being shot at the mall and asks him to help get his girlfriend back, claiming that the Monarch kidnapped the entire Venture family. Dr. Girlfriend steals Brock's car with Hank and Dean along for the ride. Everyone has it out, and boy it's a lotta fun.

References? Yes! There's many! This one has “fly casual” from Star Wars, which I somehow recognized as a reference but didn't know it was from Star Wars until I looked it up. Hank psyches himself up by saying “you can do it, Duffy Moon”, which is a reference to a very charming made-for-TV after-school special about a geeky kid who starts using the power of positive thinking and thinks he has super powers because of it through a series of comical coincidences. I recommend seeking it out if you like 70s-era after school stuff, it's a really good one. No, really, it's fun! There's also a Turk 182 reference, a movie I've only ever seen the trailer for if I'm being honest. Why haven't I seen Turk 182 by now? It's the exact kind of movie I like. Am I waiting for Kino Lorber to release it on blu-ray? Should I hold out for a 4K UHD? Can I just watch it on Criterion Channel already?

The DVD commentary is great, because they say “gay” and “retarded” in it, and you know daddy like/is easily impressed by unbleeped slurs. Speaking of potentially problematic content: there's also some jokes about Dr. Girlfriend possibly being a dude from Brock, who keeps grilling Phantom Limb about her anatomy, and suggesting that she must be a post-op M to F transsexual. I'm not tattling, I just think it's interesting that it's what could be the show's most obvious joke and they only really touched on it rarely. Also I think it's perfectly in line for Brock to be wary of stuff like that. It's character stuff, dude! CHILL OUT! Anyway, this run yielded a very funny line, when Phantom Limb says something like: “I've explored every supple inch of her and found nothing but nectar”. Made me laugh! Never really noticed that line before. Now you know about it.

MAIL BAG

Rick and Morty?! That high!?!?

Honestly, yes.

[ms-gallows]

Astrological signs for Anakin Skywalker!

I mostly just focused on the signs and planets, not on the houses that they fell into, so there may be some inconsistencies! I might change these later the more I learn, but this is just for fun! Here is my take on Anakin! (with some minor Obi-Wan analysis for comparison!) Read Obi-Wan’s interpretation here. Edit: I changed Anakin’s moon!

Before I get into this, I want to explain the elements and the modes: Air = thoughts/intellect Earth = materialism/pragmatism Water = emotion/spiritualism Fire = Action/Instinct 

Cardinal = initiative Fixed = stability Mutable = adaptability

Anakin has mostly Fire and Water, making him active and emotional. He has just enough air to give him an unconventional intellect. He is also Cardinal and Fixed dominant, which gives him initiative and stability (not often a word you would describe Anakin with!). He has a beautifully intense chart, this boy belongs in a Gothic novel. Lord Byron would be proud.

Scorpio Ascendant: The ascendant is our mask or ‘filter’. It is the first layer of our personality, what we show to people before they truly know us. Anakin processes the world around him through the lens of a Scorpio; with high emotional intensity and an almost psychic perception. He is reserved with most people around him, he keeps his guard up like a Scorpio. Most of the time he keeps quiet, letting Obi-Wan do the talking with his more chatty Libra Ascendant. Scorpio Ascendants also look very intense, and may come across as cold to people. Unlike Obi-Wan’s airy Libra, Scorpio has a very heavy presence, because it’s a fixed sign. It has the intensity of a black hole. 

He’s not going to budge an inch, until he knows that he’s safe around you. 

This is probably why Anakin comes across as a loner most of the time, even though this boy is like ‘im so lonely please love me i’m so lonely’. When people get to know Anakin better, and he lets his guard down, they get a glimpse of his core Aries self (Obi-Wan is very familiar with this side). 

Aries Sun: The Sun is the ‘core’ part of the personality. Anakin is an Aries Sun, a fiery cardinal sign, making him highly action-oriented. Anakin seems to have a lot of trouble staying still, always needing to do something with his body or work with his hands. He needs to see the fruits of his labors right now dammit.

Anakin often gets typed as a Scorpio Sun, however I think Scorpio, for all of its emotional volatility, can be frighteningly calculating. Scorpio Sun likes to hide in the shadows, waiting patiently for the perfect opportunity to strike. Anakin broods like a Scorpio, but he has the impatience of an Aries, and carries out most of his actions like an Aries.

His Aries Sun is very active, always on the move, acting on its feelings almost without thought. Anakin seems to be flying by the seat of his pants in most areas of life. He’s also naturally pretty fiery and competitive, having no issue with showing off. Anakin is restless, he has an urge to push boundaries and to experience everything. He’s very open, and his moon blends in easily with this. It’s this fire and action-oriented cardinal energy that has given him drive to become a Jedi, and probably his Aquarius/Scorpio that gives him the follow-through. Cardinal energy wants to lead, and Anakin is a natural-born leader. It comes more naturally to him than to Obi-Wan’s mutable Virgo!

Moon in Sagittarius Leo: The moon is our vulnerabilities, our emotions, and our maternal instinct. It is the side of ourselves that comes out when we are most comfortable. I thought that Anakin was a Sagittarius moon, since he seems given to sensory experiences. The more I saw how he interacted with Ahsoka, however, I’m starting to think he is in fact a Leo Moon. His emotions are wrapped in his pride. I remember the idea that Anakin wants more than what a Jedi’s life offers, even though he shouldn’t. He has strong desires. There is a nobility to Leo, fiercely protective of what it claims as its own. The way he tells Ahsoka he would never let anyone hurt her makes me think of a lion protecting its cub. Anakin is so fiercely protective of her, he sneers at the mere implication that Asajj sees a part of herself in her. With Padme, he wants to express his love in grand, dramatic gestures, probably in ways that he wishes he could show the whole world, but he can’t. He wants to save people who are suffering and right wrongs in a very grandiose manner. It feels like a divine calling, a narrative in which he is the main character, it is his purpose in life. This is how Anakin mothers the people he loves. Extreme, devout protection and gestures of adoration. Just think of a Lion’s majesty and ferocity, and you’ve got Anakin’s moon. 

Mercury in Aquarius: Mercury is all about how we understand things, think, and communicate. Anakin’s Aquarius Mercury is having a hard time breathing with all these fire and water signs around it. This is where Anakin’s unconventional thought patterns come from. Anakin will come up with a solution to a problem that is very unexpected. Anakin’s action-driven Sun, his possibility-driven Moon, and his forward-thinking Aquarius Mercury combine to make him a very daring pilot. Honestly it makes him very daring in many areas. His Aquarius Mercury is fascinated by tech and creating new things with it. He also doesn’t care much for social etiquette, and may even be amused by saying something blunt. He has a taste for innovation. Him and Obi-Wan having Mercury signs in air makes me think that’s why their banter is so amusing. They are both quick witted in this regard.

Venus in Scorpio: Venus rules romance, aesthetics, and taste. Oh boy, this is a doozy. Where do I start?

Having a water-based Venus is compatible with Obi-Wan’s water-based Moon. Water signs are compatible with other water-signs. However, there is a problem: Obi-Wan’s moon only comes out when he feels completely comfortable to do so. That happens extremely rarely. 

Anakin’s Venus is pulling at Obi-Wan’s Moon, demanding that Obi-Wan share a part of himself that Obi-Wan only shows when he feels absolutely safe to do so. Unfortunately, being a Jedi, it’s never safe to do so. Scorpio probes, which might even feel parasitic to Obi-Wan.  Obi-Wan will block it out, because it’s sensitive, it hurts. Anakin interprets this as a rejection, and thinks that he did something wrong, when it’s really just not the way Obi-Wan expresses his love (most of the time). That said, the detail-orientation of Obi-Wan’s Venus and his emotionally-psychic moon are extremely precise in detecting Anakin’s mood-changes and feelings.

(Obi-Wan’s Moon/Venus: “I love you but I don’t know how to deal with this.”)

Anakin’s love is raw. It is an all-consuming type of love, it’s like an addiction, a drug. Anakin wants to know the depths of someone’s soul, he wants to know someone’s deepest traumas and demons, to accept them and love them for all that they are, because ultimately that is what he craves for himself.

This kind of love is extremely intimidating to Obi-Wan’s gentle Virgo Venus and sensitive Cancer Moon. I don’t think Padme really knows how to deal with it either. I don’t think he’s shown all of it to her.

Scorpio Venus, along with his Scorpio Ascendant, makes Anakin very possessive and stubborn. This doesn’t mean that Scorpio Venuses are bad, only that they have an urge to take things to an extremely intense depth that most others don’t feel comfortable going to. Not everyone sees that as love. A Scorpio Venus has to learn that not everything has to go that deep, and that boundaries need to be respected.

On the plus side, you can probably tell your deepest secrets and insecurities to Anakin, and he won’t tell a soul. He’ll probably feel closer to you. 

Suspecting rejection, Anakin thinks he has to prove how much he loves someone, so that they don’t let him go. I think of the scene where Anakin gives his lightsaber to Padme, as a symbol of his life and love (I also suspect that Padme is probably a Cancer Ascendant, which would explain Anakin being drawn to her because she has a mothering, caring energy that he wants in love). Anakin doesn’t realize that he doesn’t have to go to these extreme lengths to prove that he loves someone, he doesn’t see that they already love him. He feels wrong and broken, and he wants someone who can heal his soul, when he really needs to look inwards and heal himself.

A Scorpio Venus can also take things very personally and become wrathful. Scorpio has a divine wrath, it is complete and utter destruction. Anakin is fire and ice, he burns everything to ash and freezes it over.

(Anakin’s Leo Moon/Scorpio Venus: “Why are you leaving me? What did I do wrong?”)

Losing someone he loves is death itself to him. When he speaks to Master Unduli about not giving up on Ahsoka, the thought of losing her looks like it physically pains him. 

In short: Anakin not properly dealing with his Scorpio Venus/Leo Moon is probably the cause of his fall. 

Also: Scorpios like darkness and intensity. To them, it is the most real, the most deep. Explains why Anakin likes black, huh?

Mars in Aries Scorpio: Mars rules passion, war, instinct, and sexuality. An Scorpio Mars is a planet in the sign of its old rulership! It is not as potent as Aries, but I changed it because I examined the way Anakin goes to war. He is more likely, at least later on, to use underhanded and sneaking tactics. This is where he becomes very cold, calculating, unyielding. Having a third inner planet (Ascendant sort of counts as a planet) in Scorpio makes his personality slightly unbalanced. There’s a LOT of Scorpio here, a lot of intense emotions that he has difficulty understanding. He can never completely express himself, there is something he’s always holding back, and he doesn’t even know what it is that he’s holding back.  

When it comes to sexuality, this is another area where Anakin gets possessive. This is where not only his Mars, but his Scorpio Venus and Leo Moon all come out to play. The eroticism is ridiculous. It’s wild, uninhibited, dark, passionate, emotional, and probably loud. What a drama queen. He’s easily aroused and wants to give everything he can to his partner. Having Scorpio in the planets of love and sexuality makes his expressions of love tinged with darkness. He probably has a dominant edge and wants to explore dark taboos. He wants to utterly consume his partner and have them consume him in return. This is an intense sensory and emotional experience for him, and he wants the best. His ideal is a luxurious bed with candles, a beautiful moonlit view, and nobody else for miles. Leaving his partners exhausted and satisfied is what he strives for, and he’d wish they could do this forever. Aries/Leo/Scorpio make his head, back, and well...his genitals, his erogenous zones, respectively.

[withcolebrock]

Night Changes- Baby Brothers Part 1

Summary: Y/N goes into labor when something goes wrong.

Night Changes Masterlist

Warnings: descriptions of labor/pain, swearing, angsty stuff, lmk if I need to add more

Word Count: 3,956

Author’s Note: Sooooo HIIIII this is been a long while in the making, I spent two weeks writing this and I honestly low-key hate it  but this little two parter is needed to help complete the rest of the series so ahhhh yeaaaa. This also took sooo long bc I was contemplating killing Y/N, anywayyyy I hope you guys enjoy this angsty piece hehe. This is my Gif!!

For the last two months Y/N had been on bed rest due to her pregnancy becoming dangerous for herself and the babies. Throughout the start of the pregnancy her blood pressure was getting too high for her doctors’ liking. Even at the start of her pregnancy, her body always felt different. She was sick all the time, no matter the time of day. Her body was always in pain. Her experience was a complete one-eighty from her pregnancy with Serenity.

Colby had spent most of the past nine months doing everything he could to make sure Y/N didn’t even lift a finger. He drove Serenity to school, soccer practice, helped her with her homework, set up the nursery, and filmed for his channel and his channel with Sam. He was tired and stressed out all of the time, but all he cared about was how Y/N was doing. Of course she hated watching him do that to himself, but he promised he was doing alright.

Today was the day they were finally going to meet their little boys. Her doctor’s had decided to induce labor on her due date instead of waiting for a natural birth.

“Ren, Remember Uncle Sam is picking you up from school today,” Colby explained while he held shifty eye contact with his five year old girl sitting in the backseat. Her eyes were as bright as his and her hair had a slight curl to it.

“Why?” she asked quietly as she kicked her legs dramatically back and forth against her carseat. Colby shook his head lightly as he shifted his gaze back to the road.

“Because Mommy is having the babies today, remember?” Colby explained, his eyes shifted to the rearview mirror briefly looking towards Serenity. She gasped dramatically as her mouth fell wide open. Colby smiles widely as he lets out a soft chuckle.

“Really?!” The mispronounced word leaves her little lips as another loud gasp falls from her lips. Colby nodded dramatically, pulling into the pre-school parking lot. “No way!” she continues as she jumps excitedly in her car seat.

“Yes way!” he gasped as he slowly pulled into a parking spot. He took off his seatbelt while turning his body to face the backseat.

“Can I come with you?” she asked innocently while crossing her arms over her chest. Colby tilted his head slightly letting a pout fall to his lips.

“Renni, you’ll have more fun with Uncle Sam and Aunt Kat, I promise.” he smiled sweetly pretending not to see the dramatic frown to her lips, “Now unbuckle,” he spoke as he pulled the car door open. He slammed it shut and turned to open the backseat door. He leaned his head inside of the car, looking down to his curly haired daughter.

“I can’t, Daddy, Daddy help,” she groaned while pushing against the buckles several times. Colby pursed his lips forwards as he brought his hands to the buckles, unbuckling her with ease. She swings the belts over her shoulders as she hops out of the seat quickly. She jumps down from the car while reaching for Colby’s hand. Colby took a hold of her Barbie backpack and handed it towards her. She pulled the bag over her small body and continued walking with Colby.

~~~

He pushed open the door to his house while scrolling through his Instagram feed. He shut the door behind him as he continued walking through the house. He shoved his phone into his pocket as he pulled open his bedroom door. Colby lifted his eyes from the floor, glancing towards the bed. “Hey Love, how are you feeling?” he asked as he walked over to the bed slowly. He rested his hand onto the headboard while leaning down closer to her.

“I’m mad at you,” she commented while furrowing her eyebrows. Colby pursed his lips forward shaking his head slowly while his gaze shifted over her features. She frowned up at him while brushing a few pieces of her hair away from her face. “You didn’t let me say goodbye to my daughter,” she sassed, Colby half smiled while his eyes looked her features up and down.

“You needed to sleep, Babe,” he said while lifting her chin up lightly. She furrowed her eyebrows as she scowled towards him. “We can FaceTime her later, my love,” he explained watching her features soften. His lips curled upwards as he admired his wife, “How are you feeling?” he asked again sitting beside her on the bed.

“Like I’m carrying two watermelons in my stomach,” she sighed, Colby stifled a laugh as he glanced down to the big belly. He reached over and rested his hand over her baby bump. “I’m tired, Bub,” Colby titled his head, his eyes softening as he nodded lightly.

“I know,” he leaned over and pressed his lips against hers briefly, “Almost there, Love, then we will have three babies,” he raised his eyebrows and smiled widely.

“Don’t remind me,” she joked while leaning her head against the pillow. She placed her hands on top of Colby’s, Silence fell between them as they were both feeling the little movements from her babies.

“Speaking of babies,” he spoke suddenly as he pulled his hand away from her stomach. He looked down at his wrist and sighed, “It’s about time for us to leave,” he stood up from the bed and held out his hands for her to grab.

“You don’t even have a watch on, Colby,” she let out while taking a hold of Colby’s hands while swinging her legs slowly off of the bed. He shushed her playfully as he held her hands tightly helping her from the bed. “The bags are in the nursery, I’ll meet you in the car,” she said, walking towards the door as cautiously as she could. Colby stood still while watching her waddle away from him. He stifled a laugh as he exited their room. He began walking towards the nursery only two doors down from their room.

He pushed open the door to reveal the baby blue nursery. Each crib reads the names of the babies above them. It was mainly to help them remember who is who during the first few months of their lives since they are identical twins. The two seperate hospital bags were lying beside each other labeled with the babies' names on them. He quickly grabbed the bags and headed out of the room.

He headed towards the garage double checking everything in the house, making sure they had absolutely everything they needed. He placed both of the bags into the trunk before he headed to the driver seat. He started the car while looking towards Y/N. “Are you ready, Love?” his tone was low as he adjusted the music playing from the radio. She nodded her head as she clenched her jaw. Nerves began to take over her body as she took in a long slow breath.

Colby began pulling out of the garage and started heading towards the hospital. Y/N eyes widened as she asked, “Did you tell Serenity that Sam is picking her up?” Colby nodded his head, “What about that she may spend the night there?” he nodded his head again. “She’s going to think we are forgetting her,” Y/N said softly while she rested both of her hands onto her stomach.

“Y/N, Love, she's not going to think that,” Colby held shifty eye contact with her while he continued to drive. “You should’ve heard how excited she was for the babies. Apparently she’s been talking about it for months to her teacher and the class,” Colby tried his best to calm her nerves.

It was something the doctors were worried about already. Her blood pressure was constantly higher than what they would have liked. Now with the stress on the body and the anxiety the doctors are worried that Y/N could fall into distress and so could the babies.

“But Colby, we will have to spend more time with the twins and she’ll be sad that we aren’t paying attention to her. I just don’t want our little girl to be sad,” she rested her head against the headrest, shutting her eyes briefly.

“Baby, we’ll figure it out as time goes on, okay?” he spoke softly as he reached for her hand, squeezing it lightly. “We are just going to take it day by day,” He slowly began running his fingers along the top of her hand.

The drive to the hospital was quick and easy, they found a parking spot close enough to the front entrance of the hospital. Colby immediately jumped out of the car heading straight to the trunk. Y/N pushed her door open and began climbing out of the car slowly. Colby slammed the trunk while walking towards Y/N, she shut the door behind her and leaned her body against it. “Ready?” he questioned while raising his eyebrows, throwing the bags over his shoulders. She took in a long breath before nodding.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered as he leaned forward pressing his lips to the top of her head. She started walking towards the front entrance of the hospital, Colby walked slightly behind her watching her every movement.

~~~

The checking in process was a lot less longer than they thought it was going to be. As soon as they walked up to the nurses station in the labor and delivery unit they were placed in a room. While she was changing into a hospital gown, Colby was laying down on one of the sofas FaceTiming his mom.

“How is she doing?” she asked over the phone. Colby ran his fingers over his lips as he glanced towards the bathroom door.

“She’s really nervous for this one,” he started, “I don’t know if it's because it's twins, or that she’s worried for Renni. I mean it’s probably both but, Mom, I don’t know what to say to make her feel better,” his mom was quiet on her end for only a few seconds as she stared towards her son on the phone.

“Well, she’s been on bed rest for months and now she’s finally going into labor, that’s scary. And she has a daughter who’s a ball of energy, that’s going to be hard to bring in two small babies into the mix. But, just make her feel comfortable, baby, that’s all you can do.”

Colby sighed as he glanced towards the bathroom door, “Yeah, I’ll try, but I gotta go Mom. I’ll keep you updated,” he said while he smiled towards the phone, “I love you,” he said before he ended the call. Shortly after Y/N walked out of the bathroom, holding her clothes she changed out of. He stood up and walked towards her reaching for her clothes. She gladly handed them towards him, as she continued walking towards the bed.

“Alrighty guys, I’m Nia, I’ll be your main nurse for today,” Nia said while she walked into the room dragging a tray table full of different needles and a few other things to help monitor the labor. Y/N slowly sat down onto the bed while smiling politely towards her. Colby gave her a small wave as he walked towards the side of the bed. “I’m just going to need to get a few testing before we start the induction process,”

She began taking a hold of a few different monitors and began placing them around Y/N chest to monitor her heart rate. Nia continued putting on all of the monitoring devices onto Y/N while asking questions about the babies and their family life. “So do you guys have any other kids or are these guys your first?” she asked as she began drawing Y/N’s blood.

“We have a daughter,” Colby answered while glancing towards the clock on the wall. Serenity wouldn’t be leaving school for another four hours. She asked a few more questions about Serenity, complimenting them about her name.

“Okay,” she smiled widely as she pulled her gloves off of her hands, “It’ll be a couple of minutes before we can start the induction process, we have to wait for the blood work to process and yada yada. But you guys just relax for a while, if you guys need me just hit that little red button,” she took the tray and left the room quickly.

Colby pulled a chair closer to the bed, sitting down beside her. “She’s peppy,” he whispered while widening his eyes briefly. She stifled a laugh as she arched her back lightly. She hissed in pain as she slowly adjusted her body on the bed. Colby's smile faded lightly as he watched her. “What’s wrong?” he asked innocently as he looked her body up and down. She placed her hand behind her back while she tilted her head towards him.

“I’m okay,” she whispered as she gazed into his eyes. He leaned his body forward while he rested his elbows on the mattress.

“Are you sure?” he breathed while his lips fell into a pout. She nodded while the corners of her lips curled up slightly. He leaned forward slowly, as his gaze flickered down to her lips. A grin forms to his lips as he rests a hand onto her check, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. “Let’s have some babies, yeah?” he whispered against her lips. A small chuckle falls from her lips as she leans her head against the pillow.

~~~

It had been six hours since the induction process and the labor process was slowly becoming worse than the process was with Serenity. She squinted her eyes shut as she tightened her jaw. She quickly began squeezing Colby’s hand as another contraction started. “Another one?” Colby asked as he straightened his body, she nodded softly as her other hand wrapped around the railing on the bed. “You’re doing so good,” he whispered while he pretended not to feel anything from her hands.

Suddenly, Colby’s phone began ringing. He pulled it from his pocket seeing Sam’s name written over the screen. “It’s Sam,” he commented as he slid his finger across the screen, “Hey,” Colby whispered as Sam’s face came onto the screen.

“How’s it going?” Sam asked. Serenity’s voice was loud in the background alongside Kat’s.

“It’s been rough, but she’s pushing through, How’s Ren?” Colby smiled towards Y/N while glancing back towards his phone. Y/N slowly released her hand from Colby’s as the contraction slowly began to ease.

Sam laughed lightly at the question, “She’s Renni, that’s for sure,” he commented. Colby and Y/N chuckled as the words left Sam’s lips. “She’s about to eat some Mac and Cheese with dino nuggets. Which Kat and I are gladly going to eat as well,” Sam showed the boxes of Kraft Mac and Cheese alongside a bag of dino nuggets into the frame. “Here, you guys can talk to her,” Sam commented as he shuffled across the room handing his phone to the little girl.

“Mommy! Daddy!” she yelled through the phone. Colby handed the phone over to her. Y/N beamed as she stared at the phone screen. “Did you have babies?” she asked.

“Not yet, Renni, but soon. How are you doing?” the conversation lasted only for about five minutes before yet another contraction had started. Y/N did not want Serenity to see her mom hurting, so she quickly handed the phone over to Colby.

“Alright, Baby Girl, we have to go,” Serenity started whining on her end of the phone, “Ren, please be good for Uncle Sam and Aunt Kat, we love you,” Colby said while smiling softly.

“Okay,” she huffed while frowning, “Love you,” she replied while Colby had ended the call. Colby sighed as he shoved his phone into his pocket. A few seconds later, a few nurses, alongside Nia, and the midwife had entered the room.

“Alright, Momma, let’s have a look,” the midwife, Chloe, had said while putting on gloves. She sat down into the stool while helping Y/N place her legs up. Y/N kept her gaze towards Colby, she found comfort just looking into his eyes for only a second.

“So good, Love,” he whispered as he ran his fingers through her hair. She rolled her eyes playfully as she smirked. Chloe smiled as she stood up from the stool removing her gloves. She motioned one of the nurses to get a pair of new gloves. Colby and Y/N stare at her expectantly.

“It looks like you are fully dilated, Y/N,” she smiled towards the two of them. A nurse walks towards her holding out the gloves, waiting for Chloe to put them on. “We are going to get started right away, are you okay with that?” she smiled widely as she began walking towards the stool. Y/N’s face paled as she turned her full attention towards Colby. Her eyes scanned his features as he smiled widely with his cheeks flushed red.

Colby nodded reassuringly as he shifted his gaze towards Chloe. “The next contraction, you are going to start pushing,” she rested her hands on top of her knees as she waited for the contractions to start.

~~~

“I can’t-I can’t do this anymore,” her head fell against the pillow as she took in a rushed breath. Her lips trembled as her eyes teared up more.

“You got this, Love,” Colby whispered in her ear as he pressed his lips against her cheek briefly. She shook her head as a sob left her lips.

“No I can’t, it hurts-I have to stop, please I can’t,” she cried out, each breath leaving her lips shorter than the last. Colby didn’t know what to say as he ran his hand along her back soothingly. His gaze shifts towards Chloe sitting at the edge of the bed, his eyes furrowed together angrily.

“Yes you can, Y/N. You’re almost there, one more push,” Chloe smiled reassuringly as she rested her hands on top of Y/N’s knees. “One more,”

“You said that last time!” Y/N cried out as she continued shaking her head.

“I know, I know, but I promise you this next one, will do the trick,” Chloe spoke as the next contraction started, Y/N took in a long shaky breath. She began pushing, as she cried out again in pain. “Almost there, look at that!” she cheered as the little boy was finally born. Loud cries left his mouth, “Okay, okay, you have a baby boy!” After cutting the umbilical cord she walks away from the bed carrying the little boy towards one of the tables.

Colby smiled widely towards Y/N, “We have a baby boy,” he raised his eyebrows as he ran his fingers through her hair. Y/N breathing started to quicken as she gasped for air. Reaching for his hand, she squeezes it a few times. Colby’s eyebrows furrowed together as he shifted his gaze down to their hands. Nia walked over to the bed, glancing towards the monitor and towards Y/N several times.

“Something’s wrong, Co-Colby something’s-,” she gasped as she tilted her head back against the pillow. Colby’s face lost its color as he stared towards Y/N. A few nurses took over Chloe’s spot of taking care of the new baby boy, while Chloe moved towards Y/N.

“Put oxygen on her,” she pointed towards the mask behind the bed while glancing towards the monitor, she brought out her stethoscope and began listening to her heart. A nurse placed the mask delicately on her and then backed away. She nodded a few times before wrapping it around her neck. “Start her on an IV drip,”

“Doctor,” Nia had said softly while holding a phone against her chest. Nia was already a few steps ahead on what Chloe was planning on doing. Chloe looked back towards her and nodded.

“Tell them it needs to be ready when I get there,” she commented as she stepped away from the bed, “Prep her for the c-section,” Several nurses started working together to prepare her. “Colby you need to step back,” she commented as she started walking to where he was sitting. Colby shook his head several times as he kept his gaze towards Y/N.

“No, no what’s going on?” he asked angrily as a few nurses rested her hands onto him and lightly pushed him away from the bed. “No, stop-”

“Colby, your wife is in distress,” Chloe rested her hand onto his arm trying to calm him down. “Her heart is overworking and she isn’t getting enough oxygen,”

“What does that mean?” his voice cracked as he fought off his tears. Within seconds Y/N was starting to be wheeled out of the room, “Where are you taking her?” he stumbled as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“We have to do a c-section to get the baby out because he isn’t getting enough oxygen,” she explained, “We have to get him out soon or we can lose them both,” Colby’s eyes widened as he rubbed his eyes several times.

“What the hell are you still standing here then?!” he yelled, throwing his hands in the air. She smiled weakly as she started heading out of the room heading to the OR. He stood still for a while as he stared towards the spot on the floor where the bed was once at. He quickly wiped his eyes avoiding the tears that were about to fall down onto his cheek.

“Mr. Brock,” Nia walked into the hospital room while taking slow steps towards him. Colby blinked several times as he shifted his gaze over to her, “Would you like us to call someone to sit with you,” Colby shook his head while he pursed his lips.

“Uh, no, I’m good,” he forced a smile.

“Come with me, I’ll show you where you can wait,” she motioned towards herself as she continued walking towards him. Colby nodded as he followed her out of the room.

His phone started to ring in his pocket as he sat down on one of the waiting room chairs. Pulling it out, he noticed his Mom’s name written on the screen. He sighed as he answered the phone. “Hey! How are you guys doing? Any babies yet?” she chripped. Colby took in a shaky breath as he stared at his hand.

“Uh-um, yeah but uh-” he stuttered as he wiped his hands across his lips.

“What’s going on, Love?” her voice became tremolous as she listened to her son.

“She’s not okay, Mom, she’s-I don’t know, Mom what do I do?” he cried into the phone.

“Okay, okay, calm down, tell me what’s going on,” she asked calmly. Colby tried his best to explain the situation but he was at a loss for words.

“I could lose her, Mom,” His body began to run cold as he whispered the words. His mom stayed silent for only a few seconds as she thought about what to say next.

“My love, you will not lose her, she is going to be fine,” she tried to reassure him. Colby sighed while he stood up from the chair, “Colby,” she said softly. He hummed in response while began pacing. “Have you held your son yet?” Colby stopped dead in his tracks as his lips quivered.

“N-no, so much had happened, I uh-”

“Colby, please go hold your son,” she paused, “Babies have all the answers,” Colby nodded his head but didn’t respond right away. He pulled his phone away from his ear as he walked towards the nurses station.

[mindingmyownbusiness]

Rescue (5/?)

Pairing - Bucky x Reader Soulmate AU Summary - You’ve always believed your soulmate was out there somewhere, Bucky not so much. What happens when he finally takes a leap of faith and reaches out to you? Warnings - some canon-typical violence in later chapters, the occasional curse word, but I promise to make up for it with loads of fluffiness Chapter Word Count - 1798 Notes - Posting has gone from once a week to super sporadic lol (sorry everyone!). My goal is currently to have it finished before school starts in a few weeks. Inspired by Rescue by Lauren Daigle and by a lot of the concepts in Sense8.

Series Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

...a few weeks later...

“Dogs or cats?” Bucky was leaning back against his headboard, idly flipping a knife as he listened for your answer.

“Hmmm… that’s a tough one. I’m gonna say cats for right now, dogs later when I have a bigger place. I’d feel bad leaving a pupper cooped up in here while I’m at work.” You rinsed your plate and set it in the drying rack, moving to drain the sink and reaching for a dishtowel.

“I get that. Been thinking of getting a cat myself. It’d be nice to have around but would also drive Sam crazy, win-win. Your turn, Y/N.”

“Any broken bones?” You asked as you hung the dishtowel up and headed to get ready for bed.

Bucky barely stifled a laugh. “More than I care to count, doll, ribs and fingers mostly. Comes with the job.”

You try to picture him shrugging his shoulders like what he said was no big deal as you finish washing your face, shaking your head as the image fails you. “Wow… I forget how dangerous your job is sometimes…” you whispered the last bit to yourself but you knew he had to have heard you.

Not willing to let you dwell on that thought, Bucky presses forward, “How ‘bout you, hmm? Break an arm maybe? Collarbone...?”

“Nope, not a single one actually. I did have to get stitches once but I was so young I don’t remember it. Busted my face on the corner of a table when I was a toddler. Still have the scar.” You peer closer into your bathroom mirror, gently running a finger over the thin white line.

“Ouch… maybe we’ll compare scars one day..”

Bucky sheaths his knife, turning out his bedside lamp and slipping under his sheets, staring up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. Meanwhile you’ve slipped into your pjs and climbed into bed as well, a comfortable silence enveloping you both as you tuck into a ball under your covers. Your mind begins to wander, the dark and the quiet opening doors to thoughts and questions that typically remain dormant during the light of day.

“Hey Bucky?”

“Yeah, doll?”

“Can I ask you a hard question?”

“Sure…” His heartbeat picked up, suddenly wary of what you were about to ask.

“Did um… w-were you one of the ones that got dusted?” 

He let out a slow breath, the memories of that terrible day playing back in his mind. “Yeah… not the most comfortable feeling.”

“Same. I remember… I remember being so confused and then… nothing. Until we all blipped back that is. Adjusting to a world that went on without you for five years hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park.”

“Tell me about it…” he murmurs, his thoughts going much further back than the five short years you both lost, the statement ringing with more truth than he was ready to admit yet.

You clear your throat, “Well, I certainly ruined the mood.” Laughing nervously you forge on. “Time for a new topic, I think it’s your turn...?”

“Sure, let’s see…  how are things at work?”

“It’s alright, nothing exciting really. It’s not my dream job or anything, but it pays the bills and the girls I work with are pretty nice so there’s that. How about you? I’m sure your job and the people you work with are a thousand times more interesting than what I’ve got going on.”

Bucky smiles fondly, “Well you already know Sam, can’t live with him, can’t work without him. He’s fun to mess with but I couldn’t ask for a better friend or partner… not since my last one anyway... But Sam’s not nearly as reckless as Steve. Steve was a handful in the best of times, always looking for a fight but in a good way, never backed down when he knew it was the right thing to do… Feels like I’ve been watching his back my whole life…”

“Sounds like you two were close? Did he… did something happen...?”

“Oh yeah he ah.. he sorta retired..? Just decided he was tired of putting his life on hold for the next mission. I supported him but it was still hard to see him go.”

“That’s very noble of you Bucky. You are an amazing friend and partner. He was so lucky to have you.” The admiration and pride in your voice is unmistakable. 

Not one for taking compliments well, a flustered Bucky attempts to lighten the situation. “Life goes on right? The world may be getting weirder every day, especially since everyone came back, but I think I’ve found my place in it.”

“That’s so good to hear… I still feel a bit out of place, most of my friends survived the blip and are just in completely different places in their lives than I am. We still talk but I don’t think it’ll ever be the same…” You pulled your blanket tighter around yourself, snuggling deeper into your nest and shaking off the negative thoughts clouding your mind.  “So, tell me more about Sam, what makes him so fun to mess with?”

Bucky can’t help but laugh, “Literally everything. He’s so dramatic and it’s way too easy to push his buttons. Just the other day, we were training and he was working on throwing his shie---umm I mean this new sort of weapon and I mayyyy have been telling him the wrong thing just so it would knock him on his ass. Laughed about that for days.” 

You found yourself laughing right along with him, eventually ending with a sweet sigh. “What I wouldn’t give to see you smile...”

Bucky stops laughing abruptly and you immediately know you’re the cause of the sudden tension between you. Unlike previous times however you resolve not to cave or opt for the awkward smooth-over. Time to face your fears, Y/N.

“Bucky, part of me desperately wants to apologize for saying that but honestly, the rest of me isn’t sorry at all. I really do want you to be totally comfortable with me and I know I promised not to push you but… I need you to know that seeing you, eventually touching and being with you is something I genuinely want. I mean how could I not want that with the man that I lo--” the words stuck in your throat as you caught yourself, “...th-that I’m meant to be with? You’re my soulmate Bucky, you have to know what that means to me, to us.”

Bucky felt like he was torn in two, reluctant to admit that the thought of letting you all the way in was getting to be as stressful as keeping you out but then again he was the stubborn type. “It’s not just about you seeing me doll, it’s about what seeing me will mean, it’s about my whole life and all the crazy that it entails.”

“You know… you know you can be honest with me right? I can handle it, I promise. There is literally nothing that you could tell me that would drive me away from you, okay? Nothing.”

“How can you promise me that?. You can’t possibly mean it. You don’t know… you don’t know my whole story. It’s not a pretty one.” You can feel his walls going up but you can’t hold it in any longer. It’s now or never...

“What if…” you swallow nervously, “w-what if I told you I did know. That I know you better than you think I do...” 

Your words flowed like ice through his veins. “What are you saying Y/N?” 

“I-I started to put two and two together almost immediately, as soon as you told me your name. It’s not that common you know....” He’s so quiet you wonder if he has stopped breathing. Knowing there’s no turning back you continue, “And there were so many little things that kept adding up: that you were so reluctant to let me see you, how you told me you used to be military but now you work in security... that you live and train with Sam, Sam Wilson right? Or that time you were out of contact for a week and the story broke about the Falcon and the Winter Soldier taking down that terrorist cell? I know that was you Bucky, I’m not crazy.”

You took a deep breath, calming down a bit. “Did you really think your soulmate would be that clueless? That the person meant to be with you. a literal Avenger, wouldn't be able to figure it out? I’m not upset with you, I promise. It's not like you lied to me, everything you said was ‘technically’ the truth. But... the more I learned about you the more I confirmed my hunch and the more I felt like I was lying to you, and that just didn’t sit well with me.”

Silence was all you could hear on Bucky’s end but you knew he was still there. You gnawed at your lower lip worried that you had made a horrible mistake. “I wanted to come out and just tell you, so many times, but at the same time I had promised not to push you. I was waiting for you to be ready to tell me but I was also starting to worry that it was never going to happen. Bucky I’m so sorry, I--”

Bucky blurted out, “Why are you still here then?! You should have shut me out already. How could finding out not change how you felt about me? Y/N, I’m not just some guy with a military past and a job that takes me away for days, weeks, sometimes months at a time, that’s enough to put a strain on any relationship. But I’m also over a hundred years old, I deal with literal alien threats, and a-and I’ve killed so many people… those memories, the things they did to me, that part of my life is a literal hellhole, and it doesn’t go away, ever. It’s always with me… all those years without memories and now I’d give anything to forget…” You could hear his labored breathing, the anguish in his voice. Tears welled up in your eyes for him, ashamed that you’d hurt him but also desperate to be the one to comfort him. “Y/N I’m-- I’m sorry, I have to go. I need some space right now.” 

“Wait Bucky, don’t---” and just like that the connection severs. Not completely thank goodness, you can still sense your bond deep down, but you feel as though a chasm has formed between the two of you.

“I’m not going anywhere Bucky… I love you...” you whisper into the silence, hoping somewhere, somehow that he can still hear you.

Part 6

Taggy tag tags: @bucky-plums-barnes @buckyywiththegoodhair @avengerofyourheart @sebspocketsquare @sgtbxckybxrnes @bionic-buckyb  @plumfondler @imaginingbucky @sexonastickstan @angryschnauzer @witchymarvelspacecase @palaiasaurus64 @eyecandybarnes @promarvelfangirl @the-observant-fangirl @ballyhoobarnes @trinityjadec @kjs-s @sebbytrash @true-queen-of-mischief @buckthegrump @moondancewrites @thisisjamesbarnes @beccaanne814 @oneshot-shit @moonbeambucky @stevieang @tnupsweetpie @avenger-nerd-mom @eyesfixedonthesun22 @searchingforbucky @notimetoblog @sugarfreecapsicle @nomadicpixel @nacho-bucky @sarahwroteathing @captain-rogers-beard @buckys-darling @tilltheendwilliwrite @ifellinnthepit

@marie-is-in-the-dark @lorilane33 @igothroughphasesalot

[zelskzerker]

Mangadex went down so I read alot 1/7

Lets review a bunch of isekai and related stuff I binged because mangadex went down. The scale will be a single thumbs up to a single thumbs down in terms of how much I would consider recommending it in general.

Legend

Chapters 1-51 Pretty straight forward in most aspects. For the best. Nothing crazy bad or good happening, making it surprisingly straight forward for an isekai. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time the MC is given a super magic body and the knowledge of ancient magic. Which he promptly uses to create a griffon buddy. Gets a THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER for just being a nice, believable stay in a world, but I have read some stuff that really has interesting sparks the way this doesnt. MC is brutal at times and General Princess is cute. They make a good pair for each other.  Although there are no ecchi situations, that artist really knows how to slide in the lewds, whether its mid combat flourishes or pre chapter artwork.

The Black Create Summoner: Revolt of Reincarnated

All Chapters

Truly is revolting. A resounding THUMBS DOWN.  Apparently this was just an advertisement manga, which means that its intentionally incomplete and unsatisfying. Ontop of that, the sketchy artwork was generally rough and got worse to look at the more it went on. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time he has a grimoire that lets him summon stuff he draws. The power isn’t used that much though or in that creative of ways. Characters didn’t really leave an impact except maybe the elf little sister that is stubborn yet knows she is incompotent and recruits a dragon out of stubbornness. 

Minotaur’s Sweetheart

Chapters 1-16

So what if a minotaur accidentally seduced the adventurer that was assigned to kill him? This is a good romance manga deserving a THUMBS UP because the pure-hearted minotaur boy and the unmarriageable adventurer girl actually develop a relationship and progress as people. The manga is ultimately about monsters and humans interacting and is fresh due to having a plot that evolves the situation a lot beyond the initial setup of the manga.

Moon-led Journey Across Another World

Chapters 1-64

[Insert isekai startup here] but this time the god of the new world calls the MC ugly and banishes him to the edge of the world to die off. In order to help out the MC, the god of our world (Tsukuyomi) gives him a bit of power. The MC is funny to watch once you realize that he is an incredibly cautious pureboy and expecting every common street thug to potentially end him but in reality he is a god-rivaling cataclysm himself and never realizes. He is so powerful that he recruits the blue haired mist dragon, Tomoe, and accidentally turns her into a weeaboo. Tomoe can read minds and access pocket space with her mist ontop of her sick weeaboo katana skills. She really shines as the most mature person in the story, gaining information that no one else in the story has and carefully withholding it from the MC in order to protect his innocence. She is a DAMN good tomboyish waifu and sarashii is a blessing. Other main girl is yandere spider, Mio, which has shockingly good and well conveyed bouts of emotion. She has an extremely rare “can’t cook at all” joke that is explained due to her “eat literally anything” nature. In terms of plot, the MC hates the god of the world he is in and pretty much plans to do everything she doesn’t want him to. Which means mingling with humans, and eventually, god slaying/usurption. Odd think about this manga is that it’s heavily Japanese-inspired. That may sound odd because its a manga, but generally isekai are most medieval/western skinned than this one which leans in on Japanese mythos. Just look at the god of our world in the manga.

THUMBS UP.

The Unsuccessful yet Academically Unparalleled Sage ~A Cheating S-Rank Sorcerer's Post-Rebirth Adventurer Log~

Chapter 1-10 So lets set up this genre here. This is a part of the “reincarnation” genre, which is a spinoff of isekai. They generally depict a very capable mage who reincarnates themselves into the future of their own world. At which point they realize that although they were pretty strong in their day, they are now practically a god in the deteriorated modern day. This genre will hereby be indicated by [Insert reincarnation startup here]. For this manga in specific, [Insert isekai startup here] but this time the MC could only use lightning magic and was the best at it but failed the gene gacha then [Insert reincarnation startup here] and he fails gene gacha again but is still the walking thunder god. These kinds of manga are always precious when the MC can walk through the world and see the fruits of their past labor. Specifically through Merlin, the MC’s adopted demon daughter who has grown up to be his heritor and bridge human/demon relationships. Truly adorable and heart warming. Lacks a bit of spice from themeing or ongoing plot due to its short length however. THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.

Older Elite Knight is cute only in front of me

Chapters 1-17.1

THUMBS UP. This is an oneshota manga where shota is a chad with incredibly good tastes. A really good ecchi manga with a light hearted story featuring Haru(the shota) knight that joins Karen’s(the oneesan) knight crew. As with all good romance manga, the main plot isn’t romance. Knight shenanigins are always happening, with a big (and lewd) bad entering recently. Top tier variation on the lewds, even including a princess loli in on the fun. Must read for all oneshota fans.

Lonely Attack on A Different World

Chapter 1-91

[Insert isekai startup forma de classroom here] but this time the MC gets leftover garbage skills and has to learn to survive. Learning to survive thus makes him the most op and he can magic trick his way out of literally anything. Strong start as the whole classroom first tries to get their footing, but after the starting arc is done this manga starts spinning it’s wheels. The manga is kinda lacking in themes, overarching plot and end goals, so stuff just happens to make this a sort of slice of life trap room escape manga. Magic “just works” in this universe so its not very dramatic when the MC pulls out a new trick out of his bag of million tricks. Just kinda stagnates too much for my liking. THUMB IN THE BOTTOM CORNER.

The Unwanted Undead Adventurer

Chapters 1-34

Rentt Faina, the MC, is a good guy with no talent who aspires to be a legendary adventurer. But then he gets turned into a skeleton, giving the chance to evolve his way to greatness, kinda like in Spider isekai or Dragon isekai. The MC is most like Goblin Slayer in his serious and knowledgeable approach to the world, how characters that know him revere him. End goal so far is just him seeing how far he can evolve as he comes across other vampires and vampire hunters. Really want to see him go to the top. Fuckin great art. Girls drawn perfect. Like the hat on the guild girl, but nothing beats the witch Lorraine. THUMBS UP.

Teihen Ryoushu No Kanchigai Eiyuutan

Chapters 1-13

THUMB IN UPPER CORNER. Pretty funny comedy about a lord of a poor land who wants to be a stereotypical evil lord but can only use healing magic. Therefore he bumbles his way into accepting a heretical cult nun, beast men who hate humans, etc. All the girls are to crazy for him to want to sex them(weak. give the assassin nun your babies). Most interesting parts are aforementioned nun, his fujoshi assistant, and the MC’s willingness to use his power to commit heretical and immoral warcrimes. 

The Undead Lord of the Palace of Darkness

Chapters 1-11

Art average, don’t come to this one for spectacle. It’s strength is in the subertfuge that it’s recently-necromanced-back-to-life MC goes through to get his Master killed and to later, probably, evolve into a vampire. MC isn’t evil though, just wants to survive. Main girl on cover was born and raised to hunt vampires but has a compassionate heart. Obviously she goes easy on and relates to MC. Story is still kinda in it’s first arc so the overall trajectory of the story is a bit hard to gauge and not quite satisfying enough by its own right. Probably a thumb up with more chapters but for now THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.

The Reincarnated Inferior Magic Swordsman

Chapters 1-38

[Insert isekai startup here] but this time.... uh... THUMB SIDEWAYS. Usually I am patient, but 31 chapters with no goal and just barely plot? Wow. Saving grace is uh... I guess the world of “other isekai people existed but they sucked because they didn’t level uncap like MC” could go somewhere but. I take it back, lowering this one to a THUMB DOWN.

The Invincible Sage in the Second World.

Chapters 1-12

[Insert isekai startup here] but this time a pro mmo player in a game called “Broken Balance Online.” Guess what his class, the sage class, was considered in the game? Not far along enough to really pop off but it isn’t horrible. MC is moderately cautious to a healthy degree which is actually rare in most isekai. THUMB IN BOTTOM LEFT CORNER. 

The Dark Queen and I Strike Back

Chapters 1-29.5

Although technically an isekai, no isekai startup here. This a battle manga with a big mystery on the backdrop of a war. That is to say, the MC gets teleported to a world to kill the demons but he ends up defending them from the humans with all he’s got. Of special note is the complete seriousness of this manga that whiplashes into debauchery like tentacles, the above cover, oneshota, and even really dark jokes in some of the omake. That tonal lash effect will be either make or break, and it is a HUGE make for me. I love when a single piece can have both absolute serious scenes and utterly lighthearted and fluffy ones. Or in this case utterly lewd ones. May the average-human-amount-of-perverted MC one day slam some demon lord loli. THUMBS UP.

Chillin' in Another World with Level 2 Super Cheat Powers

Chapters 1-24

THUMB SIDEWAYS. Has the feeling of a nerfed slime isekai. Nerfed in all ways except romance. Art surprisingly good.

[clumsyclifford]

hi my love i’m hope not too late but i would like you to tell me about my loves jewish cake, anything you want to but specifically baker calum 🥰 thank you i love you

of course you aren’t too late!!! ESPECIALLY to talk about jewish cake oh my goodness meg i shall die for you i love you. alright let’s see what i can dig up

ha’ahava hazot shelanu + it’s so simple

a cut, per usual

so let’s start WITH:

ha’ahava hazot shelanu

jewish cake was a labor of love for myself. little known fact about me is that i am in fact jewish! :) and around christmas time i always get a little prickly about the surplus of christmas spirit and in this case the amount of fic for it. and i’d sort of had this hesitant idea to write a jewish fic in the back of my mind for a long time, but it felt like a really big divergence from the Cast of Characters that was for some reason a lot more dramatic than any other circumstances into which i could place them, so i’d basically been hesitating for several months. in november we had a brief conversation about it in the club which looked like this

but the idea still made me a little nervous and so i kind of talked myself out of writing it, as always. and THEN, middle of december, iba sent me this 1d fic out of nowhere with this accompanying message:

and i kinda lowkey almost cried!! it was such a jewish fic. i read the word kvetch and i almost lost it. the fic was just so unabashedly jewish. and i was like...well. that’s what ive been wanting to do. so now i have no reason not to do it.

in the ao3 notes i talked a little bit about my internal debate over How Jewish To Go with the fic because on the one hand i really do understand that it can feel alienating going into a fic with zero understanding of the culture but on the other hand since it was MY fic i wanted to make it jewish the way i’m jewish. which is like...............very. i don’t think i ended up striking a balance so much as just deciding to say fuck it and write it the way i would want to read it, but i definitely think that was the right decision for me.

there was actually one more motivator for writing this fic, especially the WAY i wrote it, in eight chapters, and that motivator was that i wanted to break 400k on ao3 before the year ended. i just wanted to have an even number and 400k was a good goal. which i did achieve thanks to jewish cake fic being the 13.6k beast that she is! so that was also part of it

NOW! as for the PROCESS. i created the doc on december 22 and i originally kind of thought it was a little bitchy to write a hanukkah fic after hanukkah had already ended but was reminded that most christmas fic is neither written nor posted on actual christmas which reassured me well enough. i had already had the idea to divide it into eight chapters for the eight nights of hanukkah and i thought that would be a nice way to showcase different aspects of the holiday (seeing family, playing dreidel, opening presents etc) and also in certain cases (like the third chapter where they do some baking) some days that weren’t necessarily hanukkah-driven but just a nice natural consequence of being on break for hanukkah. i wanted it to feel like hanukkah feels to me!! normally i don’t like people seeing the way my outlines look but this one i don’t mind sharing so here’s what i had at the top of the doc for reference while i was writing. not everything in that first list got included but most of it did !!! 

i’m not really sure how this fic ended up being cake. i never used to default to cake but for some reason as i was diving into this one it just felt right. that’s all i can say about that. meg you have genuinely shifted my approach to fic i DO default to cake sometimes now and that’s on YOU. 

the very first thing i ever wrote down for this fic was this part that ended up going in the summary:

“Happy Hanukkah,” Calum says, smiling at Luke as their fingers intertwine.

Luke murmurs, “Chag sameach, ahovi,” and Calum’s face is aglow in the candlelight.

that was The Moment for me. i didn’t even write the rest of that scene until later but i had those two lines written down straight out the gate and i knew they were gonna close out the first scene because it just Felt Right. and i was right! very cool and fun for me

now the nice convenient thing about having this fic separated into eight discrete scenes/nights/chapters was that i didn’t have to write it in order, and i didn’t. i DID write the first night/chapter first, but then over the course of maybe a week, i wrote (deep breath get ready): the first half of chapter 2 (hemmings family) > the beginning of chapter 5 (the dreidel game) > most of the scene in chapter 7 > the beginning of chapter 3 (where they bake) > finished writing chapters 2 & 3 > started chapter 4 and finished chapter 5 > finished chapter 4 and wrote the rest of chapter 7 > all of chapter 6 > all of chapter 8 aka the proposal. i deliberately saved the proposal for last because i don’t think i could have written it exactly right without knowing the events that came before it but everything else was all over the place as you can see. 

a problem i ran into a lot, and i talked to my sounding board and fellow jew sam about this among many other things, was that i had a lot of trouble characterizing very obviously Not Jewish people in a way that made them Very Jewish. not even like, Jewish But You Can Ignore It. i wanted them to be front-and-center jewish like i am and that was hard for me to navigate because obviously my speech patterns and vocabulary as an american jew are extremely different from 5sos’s as australian goyim (non-jews) like i do use hebrew words in my day-to-day communication all the time and i somehow had to keep their mannerisms but also insert mine BUT not insert so many of mine that the fic became incomprehensible and it was just. a Challenge. here’s some insight into THAT crisis

and then again writing the other characters in other chapters

i sent sam the doc when i was mostly done writing it, mainly just to be reminded that at least one person was going to appreciate this fic, which worked out nicely because she very very much did. genuinely i cannot stress enough how insecure i was to write and share this fic. like i’m gonna be really straight up with you meg, i think part of the reason i had calum and luke baking sufganiyot was because to me that felt like a sort of bribe? i basically wrote what felt to me like the least appealing fic ever and then my mission from there was to add stuff in that would convince people to give it a shot anyway. i was trying to make it worth everyone’s while. the baking was my trade-off, i was like “well yeah it’s a jewish fic but maybe she’ll be happy enough that it’s cake and they’re baking that she’ll forgive it for being a jewish fic” yes i realize how kind of hilariously tragic this sounds but !!! you never get jewish fics!!! and you especially don’t get them in fanfiction for obviously non-jewish bands!!! anyway. we’re not gonna get into this whole thing but like. even though objectively i knew that i had been told again and again people would appreciate the fic i still had doubts and knowing something and feeling secure in it are very different things.

also, i didn’t remember this, but apparently i had a lot of problems with writing the proposal! here’s a sneak peek into that mental breakdown

don’t actually think the fic specifies (making life easier for myself) but they have already had dinner in that scene. so now you know. 

i could choose to not get this elbows-deep in the details of Crises I Had While Writing This Fic but instead i am choosing to go all out. here’s another thing i had trouble with:

(i did end up using transliteration obviously but i DO think actual hebrew would have been a cool flex)

and as for the title, ha’ahava hazot shelanu is the name of an ivri lider song that i love, and it translates to “this love of ours” and i realize titling the fic in hebrew was a Choice but i did talk to sam about this as well and that went roughly like this

by the way here is the song, i absolutely love it and i cannot recommend it enough. also i’m not sure how glaringly obvious this is but the chapter titles on ao3 are just hebrew numbers. like the first chapter is echad which literally means one. and so on. are they the correct genders? i don’t know ! fuck gendered language.

one more thing and then ill move on but an unfortunate natural consequence of writing a hanukkah fic (at least the way i wrote this one) is that it necessitates presents. so i had to come up with presents for these dumb boys to give each other. and to be completely honest with you i don’t remember how i did!!! the ones calum got for luke were trickier because they were actual things. for some reason this luke was always a version of luke that just kinda like, wore makeup, so that was just a question of figuring out an eyeshadow palette that would be Nice but not obscenely schmancy (i did ask the club for help since i know nothing about makeup but as usual i ignored their replies). but that by itself didn’t feel like enough of a gift, and so i tried to think of something that would be more than just the gift of an object. like, something that would maybe enable luke to spend more time on something he loves. piano music made sense to me because it wasn’t just a thing by itself it was a thing that encouraged luke to play piano and even to improve at it and to learn songs that he could be excited about. so! that was that

the trip to israel gift was a little bit of a retcon situation i really liked the idea that luke had been planning to give that “gift” to calum for a hot sec that he’d have had it ready, but i’d already written the scene where he and mali talk about israel, so i went back to it and edited it a little to hint at the idea (luke plays it off very casually because he is a clever boy) but i thought there was something very romantic in the idea of the israel trip, of luke planning a future with calum and a trip to a place that means so much to him (to me yes maybe luke and i are the same blah blah) and getting to drag calum around to falafel places and teach him words in hebrew and it just seemed like the appropriate trip for these two cute jewish boys to plan so i rolled with it.

okay moving on slightly!! to baker calum <3 baker calum was more of a cameo in the hanukkah fic, in the chapter i wrote with you in mind, but i can talk about it’s so simple here as well because i fucking adore that fic.

it’s so simple

so the inspiration behind the fic came from the “kitchens are for lovers” rhetoric and the realization that that would be the perfect...sort of thesis to build on for a fic for you in specific, because you are, in my mind, a very kitchen-based person, given your baking habit. it actually just worked out pretty nicely for me honestly because i’ve been wanting to write a big Kitchen Romance type fic for a while and you just gave me the perfect opportunity. here’s what i had at the top of the doc for the fic for you

and then once i sort of landed on the idea for the fic, it just made a lot of sense to make it jewish cake because, well, im gonna be real w you, because i identify very strongly with jewish cake and the kitchen-romance aspect felt like a very bella thing in the same way that jewish cake felt like a bella thing. and so i wanted to be able to romanticize these kitchens to share the way that i, bella, feel about them, and that was easy to do when the characters were so similar to me. not to mention this cake already existed in my head as a very settled, domestic duo, and they had their own home and had already had a kitchen-romance scene in the hanukkah fic and the whole thing just fell together perfectly. i had this sentence in my head and it was: “Shabbat in Luke and Calum’s kitchen looks something like this.” the kind of thing you would read in a fic summary right? and especially having it take place on shabbat felt like an extra layer of domestic easy romance to me so that was kind of my guide

here was my "outline” for this:

Romance :)))

obviously calum was going to be the one doing most of the cooking/baking because he had been established as the Kitchen Boy between the two of them and maybe i realized in the course of writing it that while i was luke, you were very much calum. so the goal was then basically to romanticize (1) the kitchen and (2) luke as much as humanly possible for you (see: message sent to helen and ainslee)

unfortunately i was unable to do baker calum justice as much as i would have liked because i could not have him baking anything complex because i can’t bake anything complex and if i had tried to describe him baking something complex and then described it wrong i would have died of shame so that is why he is only baking brownies BUT they have chocolate chips which hopefully makes up for it. also i just stumbled across this which i think pretty well represents the crisis i had regarding baker calum

:)))

re: the soundtrack (so to speak), i wanted to include some songs that i associate with you meg but you see the situation is that some of those songs are 5sos/mali/atl songs and so i couldn’t include those, for obvious reasons, which did narrow down my choices somewhat. fortunately i think the mcfly worked pretty nicely i mean yeah it’s a little obvious that i was forcing mcfly into the story but they deserved to be there. i think i’ve mentioned this but i genuinely have a memory of listening to star girl on a loop in my kitchen at home and in my head the hood-hemmings kitchen looks like my kitchen because i have zero imagination so it felt to me like these songs just belonged in kitchens. and that they’d be inherently romantic. woah i think my brain is short-circuiting i’m not sure i’m making sense anymore. point being i hoped that you would appreciate it nonetheless.

a note about the short introduction, because it’s very unlike anything i’ve put in any other fic to my knowledge. i kind of wanted it to feel like the prologue to a fairytale, almost. i wanted it to feel like the beginning of a movie, when the camera is slowly, slowly zooming in from a Big Picture down to one house on one street and then through the window into the kitchen while the voiceover is very serenely describing the scene. i wanted it to feel like we were in the kitchen before even calum was and that we were standing against the fourth wall watching the fic unfold. and also, i wanted to make the fic romantic as fuck, from the get-go. there was to be no confusion: this fic was going to romanticize the living daylights out of the hood-hemmings kitchen.

(also you may have noticed that despite having “london” in the list of Meg Things at the top of the doc, the fic never actually specifies that they’re in london. that’s because this fic was really an exercise in “how much can i hint that they’re in london without outright saying it so i don’t establish a canon that i may later regret” which went as far as me asking helen what her kitchen floors and counters are made of. like. if you want it to be in london then hell yeah it’s in london but i didn’t wanna lock myself into that decision just in case so i never actually said it but i hope it kinda felt london-y anyway lmao)

so...............i THINK that’s all i have to say. “all” as if i havent just written an entire dissertation but at least it’s done now. i sure did say a lot! that was a lot!!! but also a very very fun and interesting dive into the ~process~ of writing these jewish cake fics. also, for what it’s worth, the way hanukkah fic was received basically calmed all my fears about writing jewish fic, which was a relief for me. so thank you for loving it, i don’t think you know how much that means to me!!!! i love YOU so very much

[andiandyandee]

Chicanery Ch. 2

Ayyyeee, Look who’s finally fucking posting lmaoo For the RECORD This has been Written for like 4 months and is on my ao3, and I’m a MORON

Preface  Ch1 Ch2 (You are Here) Ch3

   Remus and Roman were… weird. That was probably unfair to say since Janus had really only known them for a few days and had spent even less time than that actually around them, but they had a dynamic that he couldn’t figure out. They either hated or loved each other, he was sure, but it seemed to vary from moment to moment. Case in point, they were currently arguing, insults flying, but they were still sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, working in tandem on their homework. Neither Logan nor Patton seemed phased by this in the slightest, but Janus was. There were constant disagreements that seemed totally nonsensical, but they also occasionally came off as a two-bodied single-cell organism. One would start laughing, and the other would know why, despite it having nothing to do with the topic at hand, or they would be humming the same song in different rooms, or they would sit together, quietly, not acknowledging each other at all but their legs would be pressed together or they’d be back to back or one would be laying across the other in a way that any other kids in the homes would have lost their minds over. Janus did not understand. But even beyond that, fake arguments were what always set Janus on edge. Case in point, The colors of English.

    “Look, Prince Pudwhacker-”

    “Oh, that’s a new one, nice.”

    “-Thanks, I read it somewhere- You can NOT tell me that English is red. That is the most imbecilic, idiotic, incongruous… Nah, that one doesn’t really make sense, does it? I’ll ask Logan about it later. But anyway. English is YELLOW.”

    “It’s red and you’re wrong.”

    “A compelling argument.”

    “It is, isn’t it?” Roman smirked, and Remus dove over the table, snatching his English book on the way. Not only was their homework scattered across the dining room, but Remus was also somehow now sitting on top of Roman, textbook raised. Janus wanted to stop him, but panic cemented him in place, and all he could do is watch in horror as Remus… gently hit Roman in the chest with it.

    “English,” Thwack, “is,” Thwack, “YELLOW,” Thwack, “you,” Thwack, “monster,” Thwack. They were both giggling. Remus seemed to notice Janus then, and clearly mistook the horror and panic for general confusion and anxiety because he grinned dopily and said, “Don’t worry, we’ll clean it up! As soon as Ro admits English is yellow!”

    “It’s red, Remus!”

    “You only think that because red is your favorite color and English is your favorite subject! You know objectively that it SHOULD be yellow!”

    “Objectively? Oh my god, we’ve been back four days and you sound like Specks squared again! You make ONE pun, and I will hide glitter in your beanies.”

    “I’ll sew your socks shut again. Bet.”

    “Jay! Tiebreaker! What color is English?” Both twins looked at him expectantly. He thought back to his English book, which had a brown paper cover on it. What color even was it? Purple?

    “I think my English textbook might be purple.” He said, timidly.

    “Nooooooo” Remus groaned. “Not the book, the subject! If you had to pick a folder and notebook for your English Class, what color would you use?” Janus felt like this was a test he was about to fail, but… he actually did agree with Remus.

    “Probably yellow? I guess? I think Math would be red.” Roman groaned dramatically while Remus cheered.

    “Jay is my new favorite, you’ve been replaced,” Remus smirked at Roman.

    “I can’t believe you betrayed me! In my own home! You wound me, sir!” Roman cried dramatically, gesturing at Janus. The front door opened then, and all three teenagers were met with a look of exasperation from Logan.

    “Anyone care to explain, or?” Janus tried to apologize, but he was cut off with a continuation of the conversation.

    “Nerdy Wolverine! What color is English?”

    “Yellow, obviously” And then, hell broke loose. Again. Because Remus began laughing, and Roman flipped them over, and somewhere between him grabbing a cushion from the closest chair and hitting Remus, Janus lunged forward.

    He had no idea what his plan was, because Remus had clearly not hurt Roman with a textbook, and a pillow wasn’t going to do damage, anyway, but he had jerked himself forward just enough to be noticeable. He hadn’t even made it across the room before he stopped himself. At most, he had moved three steps, but Remus, Roman, and Logan were all staring at him. But then Remus snorted.

    “He grabbed the cushion, not the chair, Jan. Take a deep breath.” And Janus did. Did he think Roman was going to grab the chair? Probably not. But that was a good excuse, and so he nodded.

   “Sorry, I…”

   “Don’t worry, Duke Doomwatcher always assumes the worst too.” He waves his hand vaguely “It’s a... What, panic response? Right? No worries. I solemnly swear I am not actually going to bash his head in for miscoloring his English folder.”

    “Wouldn’t that be fun though?” Remus grinned wickedly, “Grey matter everywhere.” He swung his hands out in a sweeping gesture.  “Maybe that’s the correct color for English.”

    “No brain goo on the dining room floor, I’m not cleaning that up.” Logan rolled his eyes, placing a hand on Janus’ shoulder and guiding him into the kitchen with him. “And besides, that’d clearly be the Anatomy Folder color. Now clean this mess up.” He added over his shoulder. He shook his head at Janus, guiding him to a seat at the breakfast table. “I will never stop apologizing for those two, I’m sure. I promise, they’re great kids.” Janus actually laughed

    “I can’t tell if they like each other”

    “Oh, they’re best friends.” Logan shrugged, “Insofar as I can tell, the insults and fighting are signs of affection and bonding? It’s apparently quite common amongst most biological siblings. According to my parents, my brother and I behaved similarly as children, though we had outgrown it by our late teens.” Logan sat tea in front of Janus. “Are you alright? You seemed a bit panicked.”

    “I.. I’m not sure. Their dynamic stresses me out.” Logan nodded, not looking surprised.

    “You will unfortunately get used to it. I just hope they don’t pull you into it, too. The last thing this household needs is three of you having a good time, however will we cope?” Logan said with a deadpan expression, sipping his own tea.

    “Ha, ha. You’re hilarious Mr. Sanders.” Janus snarked, rolling his eyes. “Is the subject argument a common one, or?”

    “Oh, once every five to seven months it comes back up in conversation. I haven’t the faintest idea why.” Logan shrugged. “They usually have it in class though, so I’m at least grateful I don’t have to pretend to give them detention this time.”

    “Pretend?”

    “Well I’m not really going to punish teenagers for acting like teenagers, but I do typically like to let the class think they’re getting in trouble so they're less inclined to misbehave in general,” Logan explained with a shrug. “It’s not really necessary, these kids are as a rule well behaved, but it’s good practice and makes the board happy anyway.”

    “I’m pretty sure a kid once set one of our science teachers on fire and didn’t even get like, chastised,” Janus said mostly conversationally, but Logan looked mostly horrified. “I mean, the teacher was fine. But the detention room has mold in it so they really can only suspend you, expel you, or pretend like it didn’t happen, so usually, we just act like it doesn’t happen.”

    “Can I ask you a question, Janus?” Logan had an ‘about to make an offer that gave Janus anxiety’ look on his face again.

    “I.. guess?”

    “Is there any particular fondness you hold for your current school that keeps you there? Would you be opposed to transferring?” Janus’ brain was short-circuiting again.

    “Like, to the school where you teach? Where the twins go?”

    “Presumably. There is also the Vocational School, if that’s more your route, though you don’t seem to be much for physical labor.”

    “I mean.. I guess? That would be fine? I don’t mind staying at my current school, either, though.”

    “Transferring will mean you will get to sleep in slightly on weekdays, as you’ll be able to ride with the twins and me, or if you so desire you could ride the bus I suppose, plus you would be in a better-funded school with more extracurriculars, more specialized classes, and plenty of opportunities for you to find peers that partake in your interests. You don’t seem to enjoy any of your current classmates and frankly, your school's ratings are abysmal. And beyond that, we need more students for the debate team and I think you will make an excellent candidate” He said that last sentence very quickly.

    “You want me to transfer schools so your debate team will... Be better?” But Janus could see the humor in Logan’s eyes, and realized he was being teased.

    “And also so you will have a better education!” Logan insisted with a grin, trying and failing to maintain the charade.

    “Well, I have always wanted to be a professional arguer.” Janus shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Multi-Dimensional pt. 2

The Company x Reader

Trigger warning: reference to past domestic/animal abuse

Really angsty but funny at the beginning.

@barbar126​

So when you finished your little '10 minutes alone in your house' test, you were actually pleasantly surprised to see everyone sitting around your living room and enjoying their tea and food without a fuss. They hadn't even taken their weapons back, and nothing was broken either. 

After that, you realized that things were probably going to go well and you can afford relax a bit. Plus... free labor. 

Around 5 or so days pass by without much incident (of course showing them how to use the bathroom was awful since they didn't seem to grasp the fact that the water just comes out of the showerhead and they don't need to fill anything... and that the water could actually be warm if they waited for 10 damn seconds).

You made the mistake of not telling the 'dwarf' known as Dwalin to wait while you got everything set up, and when you turned he had already been half-naked. 

Suffice to say, you screamed so loud that a bunch of those 'dwarves' came running over with weapons drawn and everything. 

You're going to have to make a spray bottle and spritz them when they pull out their pointy things like that, but only after you're 100% sure they won't shank you for it. 

The first time they saw your barn full of horses, cows, goats, and some sheep they were excited, and when they saw your aquarium room with all your fish and the terrariums with your snakes and turtle that you pet sit, they were a little more nervous. 

The youngest, who you know to be Ori, had asked if the reptiles would eat them, but you only smiled and said, "Not unless I tell them too." You can't actually make them attack the dwarves, but it's best to keep them on their toes. 

You decided to 'employ' all of them to help you take care of the animals, though you don't really need it, and may I say that the sight of your tiny hamsters, rabbit, and turtle being held in big 'man' hands is probably the cutest thing you've ever seen. 

Yeti has also betrayed you, for he has fallen in love with that blond 'hobbit' known as Bilbo, and will only listen to him. If you had known Yeti would drop everything and have an affair the moment you turned your back, you would've sent them away (not really). The first time Yeti refused to come to you while he was snuggling the small hobbit shattered your heart. The betrayal shot through you like a poison arrow and spread throughout your whole body, leaving nothing in its wake other than sorrow and pain. 

You got called dramatic for that. 

"Fine! I don't need you anyway, Yeti! I've got Copper!" You cried, much to the amusement of your guests. 

To be honest, you act like a total nut job with the sole purpose of bringing some joy into their everyday lives... and to keep them underestimating you in case things go south. 

The quieter Balin seemed to take to your cat Butterscotch immediately, and now you rarely see him without ole Scotch in his lap. Your other two cats Midnight and Mittens were a little less pleased to have so many people around them, but they tolerated the dwarves and eventually got to petting terms with them. 

The brothers Fili and Kili (you keep mixing them up, you're ashamed to admit) seemed to like your rabbit and hamsters the most. After you showed them how to feed the little fluffy boi's and how to open their cages, you often found them walking around holding them in their arms. It's very cute.

Thorin, the leader of this entourage, acts like he doesn't care for any of them, but you saw that bastard feeding Copper scraps under the table when he thought you weren't looking. And, apparently, Mittens kinda likes him which is interesting. 

It's been only 5 days, but you found yourself becoming fond of the lot of them rather quickly, and they to you (though you don't know that).

You have two spare bedrooms with medium-sized beds, the love seat, long couches, and a chair in your living room, and a small couch in your bedroom too. You decided that moving the couch out to one of the other guest bedrooms would be beneficial, but it'll take some time so you were postponing it. 

Now is as good of a time as any, you suppose. 

You had been feeding your fish with Nori and Ori, and when the inspiration to move the couch hit you, you handed them the shaker and said, "Be careful not to overfeed them, otherwise they will explode and I will cry." You make your way to the door and pause, "A lot." 

With that, you leave toward the stairs, and Copper rises from his spot next to Thorin (you feel weird not saying Mr. before) to follow after you. 

"Oh, here's my good little boy!" You kneel down and squish his fluffy face, making over-exaggerated smooching noises as you kiss the top of his head and his snout, "Who's a good boy? Who's my good boy!?" You ask in a baby voice, scratching his back and petting him all over. His tail wags excitedly as you smother him in affection, and it only makes your heart melt, "You would never betray mommy, no you wouldn't! You wouldn't ditch me for a hobbit, would you baby? Oh, I love you." smooch, "so," smooch, "much!" You kiss the top of his head one more time, then stand back up with a bright smile on your face. 

Someone clears their throat behind you, so you turn and see the majority of the intruders standing behind you. Some of them look amused, a few disturbed, and others are actually laughing. 

"What?" You ask indignantly, feeling your face heat up from embarrassment. You forget that there are others in the house who aren't use to your animated way of talking to your babies.

"You have quite an interesting way of speaking with your animals." Mr. Thorin asshole Oakenshield states (he's actually a pretty nice guy). 

You can't even help the violent blush from spreading across your cheeks, "D-Don't talk to me like that!" You exclaim, pouting rather childishly. "Copper! Attack!" You yell, pointing in his general direction.

A few of them stiffen, but Copper just kinda lazily ambles over and sits down in the middle of the dwarves, making you gasp dramatically. There's some more laughter, and while you knew Copper wouldn't actually attack them, it did nothing to ease how flustered you are like you thought it would. 

You throw your arms up in the air in defeat and yell exasperatedly, "Fine! Have fun laughing while I put small animals in your things!" You don't wait around to see how they react and instead walk up the stairs and head to your room to begin moving the couch.

There's some murmuring that you can hear down below. 

"Did we actually offend her?" Someone whispers.

You don't know their voices well enough to decipher who is who, yet, but their conversation actually warms your heart a bit. 

"We didn't, did we? I only found it to be slightly amusing, and cute..." Another voice states. 

"Yeah, it was cute, t-the dog I mean..." 

Ooh, they think you're cute. Nice. 

You decide that you should stop eavesdropping and go ahead and start moving the couch. Or try at least. 

At first, you try pushing it, but the carpet simply doesn't allow for it, so you instead try to pull it, but that doesn't work either. Then, you crouch down and manage to lift it slightly from the ground, and so you, still gripping the gap beneath it, slowly walk back with it a few steps. You only manage to make it about 3 feet before you have to take a breather though. 

You do that 4 more times, and eventually, you make it to the still-open, door. Once you get it there you stop and lean against it, panting quietly from the exertion. 

For about a minute you stand there, and once you've caught your breath somewhat you lean back down and lift it as much as you can again and begin dragging it backward. You make some grunting noises from your effort and breathe out loudly when you drop it 2 feet later, standing up straight since the position is making your back hurt. 

You bury your head in your hands and groan dramatically, "I'm a failureeeee!"

"Are you okay?" Someone says behind you suddenly. 

You turn your head a bit and see one of the brothers, the brown-haired one, Kili you think (or was it Fili?), on the stairs looking at you with furrowed eyebrows, so you drop your hands back to your side. 

"Just peachy. Do you need help with something?" You ask, wiping your hands on your jeans. 

He shakes his head no, then glances at the heavy couch you're trying to move. "No, but it looks like you do." 

You look down at the couch, then back at him and shake your head, "No, no I've got this. I've just gotta bring it across the hall over there." You point towards the end of the catwalk, but your resolve diminishes slightly when you realize just how far it is. Of course, you don't retract your denial since you don't want to look stupid. "All good over here." 

You turn your back to him again and go back to your little system of lifting it slowly, pulling it back a few feet, then dropping it. 

Honestly, it's painful to watch. 

He then asks again, "Are you sure... you do not need help?" 

You shake your head 'no' and don't bother turning or answering verbally this time (definitely not because you're out of breath), instead you just do the same process again and finally pull the damn thing all the way through your door. 

"S-See? I've got it all under control!" You look over at him with a weary and very unconvincing smile. Damn, you don't even believe it yourself. 

"Hey Fili, come here!" He calls suddenly, not acknowledging your assurance that you're all good. 

Oh great, now they're gonna watch you fail together and make fun of you. 

You huff indignantly and turn away, moving to pick it up again and, hopefully, arrive at your destination before you can be embarrassed anymore today. 

Heavy footsteps ascend up the stairs and you groan internally, but continue nonetheless.

"What is it?" You hear him ask Kili (now you've got it), "Oh, uh, what is she doing?" 

You do your best to tune them out and just go about your business. When you drop the couch this next time, though, you kinda just stand there for a moment and wait for your back to stop hurting. 

A voice then pipes up next to you, "Allow us." 

You look down at the blond dwarf with surprise, not having heard him approach, "Um, I don't know if you'll be able to..." Your eyes drift over to Kili (you know that's his name for sure this time) who is at the opposite end of the furniture, and when he lifts it, it goes up much higher than what you managed. 

How is that even possible? They're smaller than you are! In height, at least... Okay, actually maybe it does make sense since, as stated 5 days ago, these bitches are thicc👌.

"Okay." You don't see the point in arguing any further and just step out of the way (plus you hate physical labor), watching as they carry the whole couch to the other room in record time. Now you just feel silly, having so adamantly refused any assistance when the job effort was cut in half in literal seconds. 

After a few moments of just standing there, you follow and go into the room, seeing that they've already placed it in a free space in the room. 

"Is this alright?" Kili asks, looking over at you with a slightly smug expression. 

You just nod dumbly, looking between them and the couch a few times, "I don't...," you pause before you finish that thought, squinting at the couch, "Move it a little to the left." 

They do just that, and when it's done you smile brightly, "Looks good. Thank you." 

Fili opens his mouth to say something, but a loud knock on your door and barking from Copper and Yeti silences him. 

You spin around on your heel and look downstairs frantically at the entrance, seeing a distorted figure through the wavy glass of your front door. Your eyes go wide, and you turn back to the two brothers, "Don't go outside!" 

You then race downstairs, the two following close behind, and wave everyone looking at the door over to you, "Go hide over there," you point to an area out of sight from the front door. You smile and say, "Good boys!" out of habit, but another knock keeps you from getting embarrassed.

You start to run over to the door, but pause and run back to say, "And don't leave this area. I don't know who's here." 

A louder knock resounds throughout your main room, and you yell, "I'm coming! Just give me a moment!" Once they're all hidden away, you make your way over and open the front door. 

Your face falls immediately, "Erick... what are you doing here?" Suddenly all the confidence and joy washes out of you, leaving nothing but a barren wasteland of confusion and dismay.

The man at your doorway, Erick, looks down at you with a blank stare, then down at your dogs. A smile comes to his face and he says, "Hey, Copper! I've missed you, buddy!" 

Copper doesn't go up to him, instead he growls a bit and you feel satisfied about it. Yeti just turns away and goes to where everyone else is hiding, no doubt to look for Bilbo.

Erick steps forward a bit and goes to pet him, but you snap, "Hey! Leave him alone. What do you want?" 

When you ask what he wants, he steps back out onto the patio and glares at Copper briefly before looking back at you, "I just came by to see Copper, is all. He's my dog too you know." 

His words make your blood boil, but you try to keep your cool and instead shake your head, "No, the moment you raised your hand to him he was no longer your dog. And I doubt you made a trip all the way here just to see him. Just tell me what you want so I can get back to my day." 

His fists clench at his sides and you unconsciously flinch but maintain eye contact. "Fine, you're right. I came to take him back home with me."

"What?" You ask incredulously, looking down at Copper's sweet face, then back up at him. "Yeah, no way, he's my fucking dog." 

"Yes way, he was our dog, and being as I bought him for you and paid all his bills before you began this worthless animal sitting shit, I have more of a right to him than you." His voice sounds so smug, and his smirk makes you sick to your stomach

"You only bought him for me because you needed something to make me stick around." You argue, "Why are you doing this now? Why not last week? Or tomorrow? Or literally any other time? Why did you have to come by without even calling me in advance?" 

He crosses his arms and leans forward intimidatingly, purposefully looming just to unnerve you, "Because I want my dog back." 

Oh, you know exactly what he's doing. Copper is precious to you in more ways than one, and after your not so great breakup with this slimy bastard, he looked for every way to piss you off and fuck you over. You can't count on two hands how many times he threatened Copper's well-being just to force you to do something. He thinks that by taking Copper now he can psych you out and make you come back to him. And, well, he probably can, but there's no way you're going to just give Copper to him. 

"Over my dead freaking body." You snap back, crossing your arms much like he did, "I can pay you back for everything in cash, but he's not going anywhere with you." 

"Yes, he is. I've got the receipts to prove it too. Give him to me or I take you to court." 

Oh, this fucker. 

"Then fucking take me to court!" You stand your ground and shake your head, taking a calming breath so you don't explode, "Why can't you just leave us alone? Copper is my dog, I love him so much, and you know that! I'm sorry I broke up with you and it hurt your feelings, but you have to leave him out of this! Isn't there something else I can give you? Like my money?" 

"Well... I suppose I can make this all go away." He suddenly says, a smirk curling upon his lips and he leans down slightly.

You don't dare hope that he's going to say something rational. "How?" 

"Just let me take you out on one more date, I'll show you that I'm not that guy anymore." He attempts a 'sweet' and 'apologetic' smile, but you can see right through him, "I didn't even mean to hit him anyways." Just as you expected. 

You lean back when he gets closer and your nose scrunches up distastefully. "Um, yeah, you didn't mean to hit him because you meant to hit me, or did you forget about that? I'm not going anywhere with you. End of discussion." At this point, you've completely forgotten about the 14 people hiding not 20 feet away. You're just so damn angry you can't even think straight. 

"Then I'm going to take him back home with me. And if he happens to get out and run into the middle of the road... well, my dog door doesn't lock, as you know." 

You recoil at his hateful, disgusting words and feel a spark of emotion shoot through you, "I w-won't let you take him. He's been through enough because of you!" In a way you're expressing your own frustrations through Copper, speaking about him in a way that conveys what you're actually feeling too. "Please, Erick just leave us alone. I can pay you back for the things you got him, that way you haven't lost anything." 

"Except for you." He tries to sound disappointed and regretful, but you know he isn't. He isn't. "You know I love you..." 

For a split second you almost believe him, but you shove that trust away as soon as it appears. It took you a long time to get to where you are today, and you're not about to relapse and start forgiving him again now. "You don't love me, Erick, you love to control me. I left, and that's your fault!"

"If you won't get back with me, then give me Copper and I'll leave you alone." 

Great, an ultimatum. 

Yes, having this prick leave you alone for good would be wonderful, but sending that innocent fluff ball with him is a death sentence. You don't know what he did to him when you weren't home if he did anything at all, but you loathe the thought of Copper being at his mercy (mostly because he has none). 

Copper was the only ray of light in your dark life then. He was your only solace, your beacon of hope, and your only ally when Erick made you drive everyone else away. In some ways, you'd first die then part with him. 

"No! I already said I'm not going to give him to you! You only gave him to me so you could use him against me anyways! You don't love him, and you don't love me. You're crazy."

He glares daggers into you but doesn't reply to that. Then steps to the side and whistles, "Copper, come here." 

Copper's ears twitch, but he doesn't move to get up. He's scared. 

When Copper doesn't move Erick begins to step inside, but you get in front of him and glare up at him, "Hey! You can't come in here, Erick!" 

He doesn't move at first, clearly not having expected you to stand up to him physically like that. 

"This doesn't have to be difficult, Y/N. Just give me his leash and we'll be on our way." 

"Over. My. Dead. Body!" You repeat, reaching back to push Copper away a bit and urge him to run off. 

"That can be arranged." He hisses, a dangerous glint gleaming in his eyes.

"Hey, g-get away from me!" You shrink back and start to step away, but he reaches up and grabs your wrists, causing you to physically cringe when his skin meets yours. "D-Don't touch me!" You cry in alarm, hearing some shuffling from the very place you hid your new friends. The new friends that you instructed not to come out. Copper stands up when you start to shout and he barks at Erick, but he only ignores your good little floofer and shakes you a bit.

"You were so much better when you listened!" He snaps, releasing one of your hands to grab your face in a bruising grip.

"Stop!" You yell louder, voice slightly muffled and intended for both him and the no doubt distressed dwarves and hobbit. One of your knees comes up almost on its own, and though it doesn't quite hit it's target, it does hit his stomach. His grip on you loosens, so you wrench your wrist from his grasp and shove him backwards out your door, causing him to land on his butt on the wood deck. 

"Did you really just do that?!" He screams, staggering to his feet with murder in his eyes as he moves to come back inside. "You're gonna fucking wish you-"

He reaches towards you, but you slam the door on his fingers before he can come any closer or finish his threat. A loud cry of pain comes from in front of you, but you slam your door instead of going to look. You turn all the locks quickly and step back from it, tripping over your own feet and falling on your butt much like he did when he starts to bang on your door from the other side. 

"Give me that damn dog, Y/N! I will get a judge involved! I'll sue you for assault and robbery!" 

He continues to scream and break things outside your door, and at some point you wrap Copper up in a tight hug, sniffling softly from a mixture of both relief and fright. 

Erick screams every curse in the book. He screams violent threats against your animals, describing what he's going to do if he ever get's his hands on them, all the ways he's going to hurt you. How he wants you to die, and how he'll kill you if you ever cross paths again.

You don't know how long he goes at it, yelling these hateful and threatening things at you and your poor animals, but eventually, he quiets. With one final kick at your door and exclamation about how he's going to get you for this, he leaves. 

Your heart is beating rapidly in your chest, and you're unable to move for a little bit until Copper's cool nose presses against your cheek gently. 

He's shaking (or maybe that's you), you notice, so you stroke his head gently and mumble, "Hey, it's okay sweetheart... It's okay." You don't know if he can understand you, but your voice seems to calm him regardless. Despite being slightly traumatized, you're actually a little proud of yourself for standing up for yourself and Copper like that. 

More shuffling registers from behind you, but you don't turn to look. You don't want them to see your tears, even if you consider them your friends. People are horrible, and when they see someone like you as you are now they either pity you needlessly, or see someone they can take advantage of. And you're done being taken advantage of.

You just continue to sit there on the ground, hugging Copper's fuzzy head to your chest while you whisper comforting things to him, sniffling occasionally while you wait for your violent trembling to cease. 

A few minutes pass of complete silence, you could probably hear a fly landing on something with how quiet it is. There is nothing you loathe more at this moment then having to face the people behind you, but you stand up anyways. 

"Miss Y/N?" 

Ah, you recognize that voice. It's the hobbit Bilbo, and it sounds like he doesn't know what to say.

You ignore him calling your name and just dance around the topic and try to make a joke out of it by stating, "W-Well that was awkward, wasn't it? I didn't think this is how our day would go." You don't turn to face them, shoulders stiff while you look at Copper's sweet face and try to keep your tears at bay, "I... I don't feel so good all of a sudden. I think I'm going to retire early tonight." Your voice is soft and weak, heavy from crying, and you just feel humiliated all around (especially at the way your voice breaks when you attempt a laugh).

You turn slowly and force a smile, one much too bright and cheery to be paired with your puffy eyes and heart-wrenchingly frail demeanor. "H-Help yourself to my kitchen." 

You cannot stand the expressions on their faces, even the half-deaf one heard everything, so you turn your gaze down to your feet and, without another word, make a bee-line for the stairs and practically run up them with Copper and Butterscotch on your heels. Even Yeti follows after you. "Good night!" You rush out before slamming your bedroom door, avoiding the same 14 pairs of eyes still trained on you. 

If you had taken a little longer to look at them, you would've seen more than pity though. Some of them held anger, some looked sad and empathetic, and some were simply shocked or upset themselves. They've seen nothing but the strong-willed and funny part of you, so seeing that... 

It seems that your distress has affected the mood of this company quite a bit more than you realize. 

[marueonmain]

WINDFLOWER

part one ~ caught sight of her ~

(part one)

A/N: I wanted to write this for awhile. It’s the first fanfic I’ve ever written so it might not be amazing, but I hope it’s good and that you enjoy it! I will be getting some of the English aspects wrong (sorry).

Summary: Alex is not the kind of man (if given the chance) to steal another man's girlfriend. Or is he? 

Pairing: imallexx x reader

Warning: Set in 2020. Mentions of the Budweiser Bug. (Sam is an OC)

Word Count: 2.5k

It was a warm and late afternoon.

There was a short break in the clouds and the sunlight streamed through to bounce off his sunglasses, as he walked the pavement.

It was a warm and late afternoon – teetering on hot.

Alex wore his white Gucci button-up which was fantastic for not attracting heat. Still there were noticeable wet spots under his arms. For each street closer he was to his apartment building he quickened his pace and rolled his shoulders back. Adjusting – so that the cloth might peel off from his skin without him having to directly pinch it out from his armpits. Alex did not like being sweaty – but who did?

Despite how he might have felt about crowds or said crowds looking at him, he more often than not enjoyed the loudness of his expensive shirts, his california twink shorts, even his odd hair colours (if applicable). What these preferences said for his personality was anyone's guess.

Maybe he was secure enough in his identity to enjoy things that are deemed as classically feminine. Maybe he was making a statement on the gender binary, or the expectations of traditional masculinity.

Maybe he had stared into the darkness inside long enough that he could not bear having to see it outside as well. Or maybe he liked pink – thought it complimented his cool skin tone or his lip colour.

Which it did.

One street from his building, Alex picked up his feet and sped up. He reached the front entrance; his hand went for the door handle and – WHAM!

Alex grasped at his nose, which had connected first with the glass of the door as it swung out. There was no red on his hands as he drew them back to check, but there was a general throbbing radiating out from the middle of his face.

From above him, a man asked, "Shit, you alright there?" His voice was rich like a slice of peanut butter cheesecake drizzled in a chocolate sauce of genuine concern. While he spoke, the man dropped the large cardboard box he was holding – it hit the ground like it weighed well over seven stone – and sidestepped out from the other side of the door.

"No. Yeah. Fuck, give me a moment."

"I could get you ice or something, maybe?" The man held his hand out in the air at an odd distance from Alex’s left shoulder, hesitant it seemed to touch him.

"It's fine." His eyes spotted the hand, then the discarded box. It was wrapped tight in tape, across the top was written STORAGE in permanent marker. Alex gestured to the building and asked, "You moving out?"

"Moving in actually, I just grabbed the wrong box by accident. Maybe one of these days I'll learn how to read." He bent over and picked the box up.

"Well, I'm Alex. 205"

"Sam. 305." (a floor above) "Everyone calls me Sammy."

How to describe Sammy. Picture an elk – a blond elk. A majestic beast for sure. Picture that and then make it stand on its hind legs and also be a person. He had a naturally muscular build and an evident dedication to a workout regimen – not too intense like three or four times a week.

Everything about him appeared likeable, charming. Certainly, it was his voice. As well as the goofy smile, how he carried himself ~the confidence~ and how he held a comfortable amount of eye contact.

Alex gave a polite smile. In the pit of his stomach something was building – he had not eaten in at least ten hours – a feeling like optimism. Surely, if he were courteous and pleasant now, perhaps this new neighbor might be less willing to lodge noise complaints against him later on.

"You look strong." Sammy cleared his throat before continuing, "There's a couple-three more boxes left I got to bring up. And a sofa. I'll never be able to get that thing up myself. You're heading up, right? You wouldn't mind helping, would you?"

"No. No—I mean, yes. I will help you." It was a class rendition of George's commentary stutter.

"Great! I got to get the truck unloaded before the game. You're really doing me a solid." Sammy's smile widened to be a bit open-mouthed – like that of a dog after being told it was a good boy. He led Alex to the other end of the car park, to the truck, the sofa, and the boxes.

Alex stood waiting – as Sammy crawled into the truck bed – to help ease the sofa out. He tried to get a good hold around the back of it as it sprung out at him. Sammy pushed on his end, putting a lot of unjustified faith into a stranger.

He did not hear a complaint from Alex, just a string of strained grunts.

Sammy hopped out – boots hit the ground, and he took over the lifting part of moving furniture while Alex acted more as a guiding hand.

Walking toward the building, Alex shouted across the sofa, "Who you cheering for tonight?"

"Newcastle! Who else? Best there is in the whole sport far as I can tell."

A bark of a laugh shot from Alex's mouth. "I've got someone you have to meet."

Hanging around Sammy – for the time it took to maneuver the sofa in/out of the lift and to retrieve the remaining boxes and haul them up – was not not enjoyable. It was comfortable.

Alex did not think about the manual labor he had been tricked into doing; instead, he was preoccupied with chattering on and on as both rode the lift up. He answered all Sammy's questions – about the building, the people, the area.

He rinsed the other man for his team preferences and his truck – despite Alex himself not being able to drive. And while there was a lot of damning material for Sammy to 'fire back' with, he did not.

With arms shaking slightly under the weight of the last medium-large sized box, Alex went on with his lighthearted ribbing. And Sammy just laughed along. Even snorting once.

"Not even joking – are you a comedian or something?"

Alex beamed. "Or something."

Both men had a chance to rattle off some horror stories of the absolute shitholes they had rented in the past.

DING of the lift doors opening interrupted a rant on neighbors who complained about the littlest of noises, which Alex continued after stepping into the hall.

Then, it was done. The last boxes were set on the floor of the bare-walled apartment. What was Alex meant to do now? Leave? Hang around? Ask for a drink?

It was not like he was desperate for friends, just that Sammy was genuine, and it never hurt to have someone to ring up to accompany him on a night out or if Alex ever got evicted again.

Sammy dragged out a dramatic sigh as he straightened up, leaving the last box he had carried up – labeled DISHWARE – next to the sofa. Raising his arms above his head, he stretched out his back. Alex might have done the same, but he was conscious of the absurdly damp state of his underarms.

"I'm having friends over for drinks and to watch the game," Alex began. "Maybe a few rounds of FIFA afterwards. You should come – if you want, or not. There'll be money on it, and I tend to lose a lot."

"You just helped me move a sofa up three floors, shouldn't I be the one offering you something?" Sammy slapped Alex on the shoulder perhaps harder than he meant, perhaps not taking into consideration the size difference.

"There's nothing I need."

"Well, it sounds fun. I'll be sure to come round! And I'll—"

KNOCK. KNOCK.

A young woman stepped through the apartment door while her gaze held an intense focus on her wristwatch for too long. Like it does not take anyone who knows how to read a manual clock that long to figure out the time. She was looking at it just to look at it – to look preoccupied.

Shoulders a bit rolled in and posture a bit poor, she took five steps in and closed the door before even looking up. She pulled her head up from her wristwatch.

Upon seeing the space, her eyes brightened and shined. She gasped a small (not surprised but delighted) gasp, smiling big. And—and—oh.

OH.

OOOHhoho. Oh.

Oh, no.

Alex caught sight of her, and he was gone.

And it was not that she was perfect. No, she was not the airbrushed model of the advertisements on the tube. No. She was her, and it was ~ugh~ it was almost indescribable. It was the fit of her clothes and her hair and the cute ears. It was all of those separately and all of those at once, at the same time.

Seeing her was like living in a significant moment in history. Like attending a World's Fair, holding a piece of the Berlin Wall as it was being torn down, or standing on the frontline of a revolution.

It was having an inkling – a fervent gut feeling – knowing that what was happening was momentous and would leave an everlasting impact. But, for the time being, he was just in it: living it. Experiencing everything with the understanding that millions of different pieces had to have fallen into place for this one thing to happen and he. was. there.

"Hi, Red." Sammy caught her in a tight vice-like embrace.

"Hello." It was muffled a smidge from having her face buried in his shirt. She broke apart from him first.

"Alex, this is my girlfriend. Y/N. We call her Red." He said, keeping her close with an arm snaked around her middle while she gazed up at him.

In their brief time hanging out together, Alex had not considered that Sammy might have a girlfriend, nor did he consider that Sammy might not have a girlfriend.

He had not thought about it at all. Not in the slightest.

"Nice to meet you." Alex reached out his hand.

Y/N tore her gaze from Sammy and stared at the hand in front of her; she pondered it. Not moving. Her face flushed like she was going to be ill.

"Um...I..." He retracted his hand, shoving it deep into the pocket of his shorts.

"She won't shake your hand, mate, nothing against you – just a germaphobe. That's on me for not telling you beforehand."

"That's alright. I guess we're not meant to be shaking hands anyway." An awkward chuckle drippled off his tongue to which he did not receive a reaction. "With the Budweiser Bug and all."

"Oh, I'm not scared of that. People overreact." Sammy switched gears and moved to stand at Alex’s side.

Alex continued smiling as he considered how that might have been the most ignorant thing he had heard all month. But not everyone had the opportunities to take higher education courses as he had.

Y/N kept quiet during their exchange and after looking over Alex once more (avoiding his face), she flickered her gaze to Sammy.

It was like standing in the same room with someone on the phone and getting one half of the conversation. Alex was left guessing based on how confused and uncomfortable Y/N appeared to be as to what expression Sammy was using to respond to her questioning gaze.

Whatever he must have signaled or mouthed, it worked.

"Hello," Y/N addressed him simply as she set sail those dazzling eyes of hers into the peaceful seas of Alex's blue set, "It's nice to meet you as well."

It was a voice to tune-in to over the general hum of a group of speakers. A voice that might be complimented as being good for radio. A voice clear and crisp like water (from anywhere but London tap).

Alex wanted to keep her talking – to hear her mind and her thoughts. Hear her present a speech, putter a nervous ramble, or just word vomit. Hear how she pronounces each consonant and vowel. And if there were specific words that carried a different accent than the rest. Where did those come from? Where did she come from?

Notwithstanding his questionable reputation in a few corners of the internet, Alex was not a complete and utter irrational weirdo. He did have a brain which he would use part of the time.

It was not unlike him to be struck with crushes on young women and men he met in passing—he was human; it happens. If he was feeling extra alone, that crush might linger longer.

Might stumble into his dreams.

That is all it was—a crush. Right? Then why did it feel different? Not like that of a sudden burst of flames but of a washing-over sense of relief – an unquestionable assuredness in something new.

New or not, Alex was determined not to be weird about it.

"Why go by Red?" ...when Y/N is so fitting, so beautiful. Mission: Don't Be Weird Status: Failed

"What do you mean?" she asked with her head cocked to the left.

"Come on." With a clear sense of boredom in the direction of the conversation, Sammy strolled to the sofa and sat on it. He ripped into the cardboard box labeled DISHWARE and began emptying plates and mugs onto the cushion next to him. Speaking a bit louder to be heard over the tearing of tape, he offered, "Isn't it obvious?"

"Guess not. Or I might just be a little thick."

Everyone ignored his comment.

"You know, if you want to stick around some, Red's making quiche."

"Quiche?" Alex walked toward the back of the sofa – stopping a few meters short. "More of a breakfast food, don't you think?"

Bringing a hand to his chest in mock shock and offence, Sammy declared, "Food does not have curfews!"

"Except at hotels...and McDonald's."

"No. No, not McDonald's. Not for a while now; where have you been?"

Alex rolled his eyes; while searching for some support in the conversation, he turned to find Y/N had disappeared in the single second she was out of his sights.

A disappointed frown formed on his pink lips.

Perhaps it was a cue for him to leave as well. "I got to run. I'll be seeing you then?"

"Right," said Sammy. "Go Newcastle! Yeah?"

Alex thumped his closed fist twice against his chest in an odd gesture (which meant nothing) and smiled a closed mouth smile as he stepped backwards out the apartment door to the carpeted hall.

Sammy chuckled and shook his head, "You're a funny guy, Alex."

[theresebelivetirl]

Drunken Encounters

note: hi there, everyone! i decided to try my hand at a Zelda x reader fic. there will also most likely be a part two. i haven’t written in a while, but quarantine is giving me the motivation to do so! any feedback is appreciated, from the plot line to zelda’s portrayal, to the overall quality of my writing. if you guys think i should continue things like this, let me know !! this also was not a request, but feel free to request caos/doctor sleep related fics !

[ warnings: emetophobia, substance abuse, minimal mention of smut ]

word count: 1120

After spending the early hours of the morning at a local bar in Greendale, you finally decided to make your way back home at four o’clock in the morning. As of late, your home happened to be the Spellman Sisters’ Mortuary. After dropping out of college left you with no place to go, the Spellmans were kind enough to take you in. They promised you housing in exchange for labor, which was a small price to pay, in your eyes. However, the weeks of taxing work in the garden, organizing funerals, and tutoring Sabrina in whatever you could, had really started to take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. Hence, you decided to treat yourself to a night of fun, in which you were determined to drink yourself silly and truly make the best of it. Your intentions had proven successful as you clumsily barreled through the front door of the mortuary, scaring Salem. The bang you caused could have nearly woken the dead. “Sorry, Salem...” you slurred, followed by a giggle.

The familiar simply yowled in response and trotted off to find safe haven away from the intoxicated likes of you.

As you trampled through the kitchen, you managed to knock over most of the things in your wake.

Zelda, being the lightest sleeper of the Spellman family, had awoken from all of the noise. Much to her distaste, she hurried down the stairs to figure out the cause of the noise, half prepared to fight off a demon or intruder.

Zelda then walked to the kitchen, and stood in the entryway of the room, arms folded over her chest. She spotted you giggling to yourself, and rolled her eyes.

“Y/N,” she called, in a displeased tone. “What on earth are you doing making such noise at this unsatanly hour?”

You lazily turned your attention to the superior witch standing in the archway of the kitchen, and shot her a toothy smile.

“Hey, Zelds,” you replied sluggishly. “How ya doing?”

“I was perfectly fine before you started blustering about the kitchen like someone who is non compos mentis.”

“Non compost huh—?” you slurred, snorting in response. “You use big words sometimes, Zee.”

“Y/N, you seem dreadfully intoxicated.” There was an thick annoyance in Zelda’s voice now. “I don’t wish to make assumptions, but—“

“I know I am!” You beamed, proud of yourself. “I fffinally decided to treat myself, afffter all th’work i’ve been doin’ around here lately.”

Zelda’s hard gaze softened just momentarily, in response.

“Y/N, did you truly do this just because you feel overworked?”

You nodded. “Yeah. It’s alotta work bu’ I don’ complain ‘cause you’re lettin’ me live here. That means I have to keep my share or whatever.”

“Yes, but...if you feel that overworked, there are other arrangements that could be made.”

“Like what? Like maybe fucking you or somethin’?” you asked impishly, flashing another toothy smile.

Zelda’s pale face flushed almost immediately, the blush traveling all the way down to her chest.

“What—? No, of course not,” Zelda stuttered, taken by surprise. “Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. Perhaps a payment method, of some sort. Rent, or—“

“Don’t worry, Zelds,” you cut her off. “I know what this means, I seen it in movies. Bu’ I don’ mind. ‘Cause guess what..”

You sauntered over to her, getting rather close to her before dramatically whispering. “I kinda have a crush on you. But shhhh, you’re not supposed’ta know that.”

You were bent over laughing now, while Zelda stood next to you, mortified. “I also see you look at me, sometimes. I think you think I’m pretty!”

“This is entirely inappropriate, Y/N,” she replied, her tone hardening, “and I would appreciate it if you could find your way to your room.”

“I can’t do that. I can’t see ‘cause you’re being too loud.” You cackled at your own joke, which caused Zelda to angrily seize your arm—not enough to hurt, but enough to straighten your posture.

“I don’t take kindly to being embarrassed, Y/N.”

Part of you snapped out of your drunken stupor, and shrunk at her tone.

“I-I’m sorry, I—“ before you could get another word out, you vomited all over the floor, and all over the red sleeve of Zelda’s silk nightgown.

“Fuck,” you groaned, Zelda’s grip slackening as she recoiled.

She turned away then, taking a deep breath before straightening up and regaining her composure.

“We need to get you to bed. A glass of water and an aspirin wouldn’t hurt, either. Come.”

After carelessly cleaning herself off, Zelda took a hold of your arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, grabbed you by the waist with her free hand, and pulled you into her side. She then lead you up the stairs and into your room.

“Lie down in bed. I’ll return momentarily.”

Once you were safely in bed, Zelda left and, moments later, returned with a glass of water, an aspirin, a bucket, and a hair ribbon to tie up your long hair.

She placed the bucket at your side, and sat behind you on the bed, beginning to pull your hair back into a loose ponytail.

At this point, you began to gain some sort of consciousness back, and you felt the slightest twinge of embarrassment and regret.

“Zelda—“

“No. We’ll talk in the morning. We will also arrange a new way for you to repay us. You are working yourself into a stupor, and I don’t wish to be seen as your jailer.”

“But I said—“

“Mm, I know.” Her tone was quieter, gentler than before. “We’ll talk about that, too. Rest, Y/N. I’m just in the next room, if you need me.”

She rose then, resting a lingering hand on your upper back as she did so.

“Goodnight.”

With that, she turned the lights out and left you alone in your room.

The feeling of dread was intensifying in your gut, and moments later you vomited again. And again and again until you began to see the sun peaking through the trees. Each time you vomited, more consciousness was regained. By the time you had finished, you were in tears, hardly able to comprehend the awful thing that you had said to Zelda. What you did know, however, was that she now knew the thing you feared her finding out the most. There was not much you could do, at that point, and the energy expended from vomited left you feeling utterly drained and exhausted. Your body soon betrayed your worried mind, and collapsed into the warm cushions of the bed. You slept off the remainder of your intoxication, dreaming of a world in which Zelda Spellman did not know of your feelings.

[ read part 2 here ]