#(i say all this but I literally haven't read the book because I'm too sick to go to the store rn)

[jankwritten]

it's interesting that the only pro-tsats posts i'm seeing are people defending Nico and Will's right to be cringe. Which, yes, they're two fucked up 15 year olds who are dating someone for the first time! They're allowed to be Fucked Up and Weird About It!

The thing is - I haven't seen a single negative TSATS post that mentions that specifically. All the negative posts I've seen are about how OOC Nico is, how his actions/speech don't align with what we've seen in previous books, and how a lot of the behavior from both Nico AND Will is WILDLY out of left field or in some other way unexpected.

I've also seen a lot of people who aren't disappointed that they act like teenagers, but are disappointed that even in a book meant to be exploring trauma and healing, it seems like so much of the trauma was in some way glossed over or handled poorly. Like Nico coming out to the entire camp goes ENTIRELY against everything we've seen and heard from him in HoO. Nico getting to see his mom and sister again completely rewrites all the deep, meaningful healing that he did in the previous series. People are upset that a lot of Will's trauma specifically was glossed over, and that as the story went on he seemed to fade more and more into a husk of a character rather than an actual developed person himself.

I've also seen a lot of posts commenting on the whole "Nico's internal demons which are personified and given Actual Life are described as being the offspring of this LITERAL CHILD and a primordial being" situation. which is a WEIRD situation. like why the fuck would rick and mark decide to go with that? of all the options?

so, anyway, TLDR: it's interesting to me that the people who are "defending" TSATS are defending parts that nobody actually seems to have a problem with, and are ignoring the parts that are Off.

[periprose]

You know what. I think I'm deleting tiktok for my mental health lol. I usually only use it to watch brown girls try on makeup or clothing (so I can see if it would look good on me) but I've been getting dune content and not to sound snobby but goddamn are there are some silly takes.

Like people saying the movie is super boring. It can't all be 100% action all the time, the action is meaningful because they let the previous scenes add meaning and weight.

People saying the movie is confusing and they had to read the whole thing on Wikipedia... did they spend the whole time on their phones? I know not everyone is a book reader but I went with people who didn't read the books and they found it fine, so why does tiktok seem to have such trouble? Maybe because tiktok reduces their attention span so heavily. It's like they weren't watching/weren't letting the scenes sink in at all. That's not the fault of the movie.

Like I literally saw someone complain that Paul saying "Hello Grandfather" as he killed the Baron was random and poorly written and trying too hard to be a Star Wars twist, and they should've revealed it earlier. So many other people were agreeing with them except it WAS revealed earlier when Paul talks about having a vision of baby Jessica with the Baron and that they're both actually Harkonnens. Like just admit you weren't watching or paying attention to the movie, that's your own fault. And it's not random, the scene is meant to have weight because it tells you the atreides are not better than the harkonnens at all.

People saying unironically that it is a white saviour movie like... holy shit? The movie that is directly criticizing white saviors?? The one that made it even more explicit by having Chani disapprove of Paul's actions?? The obvious moral ambiguity Paul seems to carry when manipulating the Fremen religiously? Lady Jessica literally stating they need to convert the weak and vulnerable?? Hello????

Idk I'm just tired of this. Maybe I'm old but internet discourse is so bad and predictable and I don't want to read it anymore, I'm sick of people making their hot takes because they think it needs to be heard when they haven't even studied the material enough to justifiably have an opinion on it. If you don't know much about Dune then why talk as if you do??

[kuruk]

what is that person in that post about porn even trying to say help 😭 13k notes ...

help I saw that on my dash like several times already enough is enough.. I think it might be partly a response to when someone called people who read those trashy tiktok romance novels "porn addicts" and then someone responded to that saying written erotica isn't the same as porn and going "porn addict" to someone for reading trashy romance novels is just odd. which like to be fair it literally isn't the same 😭 awful novels yeah and embarrassing too but it's not like porn doesn't cause real harm in the real world.. and this is a response to a different post I saw now that reminded me of this, but I think it's not smart to be like "well men in the 1800s didn't respect women either" Erm okay.. just because things aren't worse overall doesn't mean certain aspects haven't worsened or that new aspects of misogyny haven't risen from it like sure men were still misogynists before porn that doesn't mean there's no harm just because you believe the net difference isn't negative 😑 which I'm not saying that post was saying, just something I saw recently that its implications kind of reminded me of since overall on tumblr I've been seeing a lot of posts about porn that just kind of annoy me a bit because I think it usually just is missing some of tbe point.. and I don't say this to comment on the porn habits of the people who post these btw everyone on tumblr is like gay or something so whatever that's not what I'm caring about here but like yeah..

"nasty perverted sicko misogynist fetish porn made by and for disgusting sicknasty pervert men" "cute and wholesome and feminist and queer liberated erotica feminist lesbian moomins porn" <- saying these words to make a sarcastic point is just kind of like well okay help sorruy like what do you mean by that 😭 like I get it I just think it doesn't make sense and kind of brushing off real arguments about porn to act like it's an exaggeration to talk about misogyny when discussing porn and like there's not any differences at all between porn websites and trashy romance novels for women.. the state of porn today and the way men consume it and how it affects their interactions with and views on real women (especially important to me to consider the way it always reinforces white men's racist domination fantasies) is just like something I still care about I get white straight women who read about their domestic abuse fantasies are annoying and sick in the head and aren't real book lovers but criticism about porn isn't about how "weird" women think it is it's a lot more important than that.. 😑

[appleblueberry-pie]

How did you get into fan fiction?

I began reading it one day. I remember I searched up my comfort character online, and a wattpad "x reader" fanfiction with them in it popped up, and I clicked it, and now here I am. Lol.

It was my high school senior quote, but at some point you have to stop consuming and begin creating. And as much as I loved reading fanfictions, I wanted to try it out. It was literally so bad, like I can't stress enough how bad the fanfictions were. My first attempt flopped and I took it down😭.

My SECOND one.....I worked on that for about 4 years. I got about half a million readers and then wattpad took the entire thing away. I was lowkey sick of writing just pure smut on it anyways. That's what the entire thing was. Just my favorite characters being fucked and that's it. The longest fic I've written was in that book, which was around 5.2k words and I haven't topped it since.

Anyways. I took a break writing fanfictions after that was taken down and shifted to AO3, where the first half of that popular book still remains. No, I won't tell what it is. I got obsessed with the site and ran through it entirely. Seriously. Everytime i tried to search for more content on there, all of the fucking titles would be grey bc ive already READ IT. ☠️ I LOOOOOOOOVED AO3 but it's literally dead. At least the fandom I was looking into was dead on that site. Very, very sad.

I felt neglected at that point and heard tumblr was good even tho i thought it was like a dating site. It's not, obviously. The first time I tried being on here, the theme and construction of the site really overwhelmed me, so I thought I still wouldn't like it. But that was 2 years ago, and now I'm writing about my favs on here, too.

Funny thing is, I shifted from smut to just pure yandere filth.

But the real thing that got me to write on HERE is that a looooot of people are on this site, and a lot of people post super often. I love being involved in communities like that. I also write on here because I felt the yandere community wasn't being represented correctly. I've been a big ass fan of yandere content since 2020. And I felt like if I shouted with my artistic language from the rooftops, people that deserve to have what they're missing in the content they read would find it in my works. The only yandere fanfics I find on here are rape and manipulation fanfics. There's a spectrum of yandere tendencies, and I try to show the whole lining to you guys.

But I wouldn't be able to do all of this without the influence others have put on me. All of these writers are way more than I'm saying on this post rn, and I couldn't be what I wanted to be known as if it wasn't for them.

[lifeandlies-of-regulusblack]

Cw: Me being a straight up hater. So if you don't like negativity, don't read it.

How regulus became the defacto ignored and unwanted son of the Black family in this fandom, when he was anything but, will forever be my villain origin story. In the books he was the favorite, because he was the golden child to sirius' black sheep. It was a point of conflict for the brothers. It's hard seeing every fic in the fandom painstakingly paint regulus as this loser child with no power and no guts, as this undesirable runt of the litter. As this nobody delulu within the family that everyone wants to forget exists. Huh? Who even is this dude I'm reading about?

Like i get it sirius is cool and charming! He was beautiful and larger than life!

But literally why does regulus have to be this shunned, shamed, and despised son so that Sirius can be the "true favorite"?? That's not true though.

I hate this trope so fucking much. From where did we pull this shit out off? Especially when it's so obscene. I HATE IT SO MUCH.

I mean there's some stuff where the brothers think the other is the favorite, and that makes sense too. But mostly, it's all about how regulus was never relevant until sirius left (but book sirius would have been saying quite the different thing to harry if that'd been the case).

This probably tops the list of things i hate about fanon marauders 😔. Probably because so much of it comes from the "FOIL-ification" of regulus for sirius' sake, the same way hardcore sirius stans demand that the only right characterization of regulus is to be a loser, because cool traits mean making sirius into regulus (as if i haven't seen enough of this shit from other blogs).

Reading paragraph upon paragraph of how regulus will never amount to Sirius and how he walks the halls of their home like a ghost because he's the "spare" makes me sick istg. And walburga punishing him for not being like sirius??? When did this happen???? I hate it god i hate it so much.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Getting a submission for a matchup before this closes!!!

Let's start by talking a bit personality wise. I'm a very extroverted woman with very nerdy hobbies. While I love going out with my friends, having fun at parties and talking, dancing and laughing until I can't anymore (I have literally gotten sick out of how much I laughed many times because my throat gets sore, and my friends always express how contagious and genuine my laugh sounds) I'm also a very independent person that can get lost in all the good things one can do in complete solitude.

I'm a history buff and a literature freak, jumping from one hyper-fixation to another only when I know everything there is to know about a certain topic (love discovering all the deep lore haha!). I am also pretty independent, and many times I've caught myself having to force myself to check my phone because I could go days without talking to anybody if I get too lost in whatever I am doing. I tend to only rely on myself and almost never look for outside help to solve my problems, but I'm not work-motivated at all.

My most significant quality however, which both comes as a virtue and a flaw, is that I can read people and situations like books. I'm that person that knows the ending to most movies by the first five minutes of it, or the one that knows exactly the intentions of someone when talking with them. Because of that, I can be incredibly insightful, but also somewhat manipulative.

Other than that, I'm a short, blond girl with slightly tan skin and an obsession for warm colors, so much so that my family and friends tend to call me "little sun". I'm an ENFT. I'm also someone incredibly romantic --if I'm in a relationship, only that partner exist for me, so I'm also monogamous. I'm bisexuality, but I tend to be more attracted to masculine people, but I have also dated girls in the past (which means that if you only can/want do one match up, preferably masculine please!)

And that's it!!! Thank you so so much for taking requests 🌼

A/N: OOh boy, my Little Sun Anon, I have to tell you I read your first paragraph and immediately had someone in mind and the more I read the more perfect I thought they’d be for you lol. Thank you so much for your description, especially the way you spoke about your personality- it gave me a super clear picture. I feel like I know you now, lol. 

As for a matchup, because you said you’re bi, but tend to date more masculine people, I’ve given you two answers below, one male and one female- so you can choose who you feel is most accurate. But if I’m being honest, the first matchup, (the male one in this case) is who I think you’re most compatible with. 

For you, my Little Sun, I think you’re best paired with either Gale (Male) or Karlach (Female)!

💜 Gale is literally the PERFECT match for you! He’s more introverted, but charismatic and a huge nerd. He loves learning, and has a history of hyper fixating on something until he gets it himself. He’s not the funniest guy in Baldur’s Gate, but he does have a decent sense of humor. And he cannot, I mean, absolutely cannot stop himself from making puns and dad jokes. Like… literally all of the time. 

Gale loves how outgoing and extroverted you are. He’s not super shy per say, but he can be a bit awkward socially, so he’s very grateful to you for coming to his rescue in conversation quite often. And he’s incredibly happy you have tons of friends. Friends and him haven't always been compatible, and since his breakup with Mystra even less so. So he’s pleased you have a larger than average group of companies to introduce him to. Plus it takes the pressure off of him in a way, knowing he’s not the only companion you have to go to for outings or advice. He does enjoy a good party, especially if there's good wine and good food, but he also likes to spend a good amount of time just being quiet indoors. So if you ever want to party, but he wants to read, he has no problems wishing you the best of times with your friends so long as you always come home to him in the end. 

He’s also very pleased to be with someone with such a rich sense of humor, and the love of laughter. Personally, he thinks he can be hysterical, and he feels a swell of pride every time you can’t help but fall into a laughing fit over one of his jokes. 

He’s even more grateful you appreciate the knowledge of a good book, or a good study session as it can be rather challenging to find extroverts who do. He’s more than willing to spend hours in study or discussion with you, happy to prattle on about all he knows on any magical subject of your choosing. He’s also relieved you don’t find it odd to spend time apart. Gods know how he can get lost in a good book, or while practicing a spell. And he’d hate for you to feel ignored or left out. He’s very soothed by your understanding. 

He does ask that you confide in him more. He knows it can be difficult opening up, he suffers from the same problem himself. But, he wants you to know you can rely on him as your partner. And he hopes you’re okay with him coming to you. He believes partners work best when they’re a team, and so long as the two of you can communicate openly and freely, there’s nothing you can’t get through together. 

He doesn’t find it manipulative that you’re adept at reading people. If anything, he feels safer knowing you can take care of yourself when he’s not there. He hasn't always been the best judge of character in the past, so he’s often put at ease with you by his side when meeting new people, knowing you can judge their true intentions within minutes of knowing them. 

Gale thinks you’re so gorgeous, especially in all of your bright warm colors. He does think of you as his own personal ray of sunshine. You’re just so warm and comforting to be around. I mean he’s also incredibly romantic. In a relationship, he believes in 100% commitment, full monogamy, no one beyond your partner should be a blip on your romantic radar. And that’s exactly how he loves it. You essentially become the center of his universe, so your nickname is quite ironic as you basically become Gale’s ‘Little Sun’. 

Gale, to me, is an ENFP, so he also has extroverted intuition and feeling. The two of you are very good at instinctively knowing each other's feelings and thoughts. You can communicate with just a look- no words necessary. And you can tell, from the look in Gale’s eyes, that he loves you more than words could ever say. 

❤️️ Karlach would also be a fine fit for you, if you’d prefer a female partner. She’s a ball of energy, and she loves to have fun! She loves how hard you laugh. She tries to get you to laugh so hard, you’re sick, so long as she gets to laugh with you!

She’s not super into literature or deep lore, but she loves how excited you get about it. She’ll beam listening to you rant about all you’ve learned and you watch her train with the same proud interested expression. 

Karlach is also independent in that she’s been forced to rely solely on herself for years. She’s not used to having someone to turn to when things go south, but she’s really glad you’re there to remind her she doesn’t have to face anything alone. She welcomes your advice and your partnership in everything she does. The only thing she’s hesitant to share with you is any fighting skills, as she wants to keep you safe, far, faw away from any battlefield. 

She does grow occasionally weary of your ability to read people, but not because she thinks it’s manipulative, but out of fear if you do it on her, you won’t like what you find. Please reassure her, she’s wonderful. She still feels some guilt over the things she was forced to do in the past. She’s very happy you can read others though. Gods know if she could read people like that, maybe she wouldn’t have ended up working for Gortash, maybe she would've been able to see through him. 

Karlach thinks you’re absolutely fucking gorgeous! She loves your blonde hair and tan skin, and the fact that she can easily pick you up and toss you over her shoulder lol. She thinks you look incredible in all your warm colors- especially the color red. If you really want to surprise her, wear an all red outfit and just wait and see her reaction. She’ll probably burn hotter than the sun in response lol. 

Karlach is an ESFP, so the two of you have extroverted feelings in common. This makes the two of you go to people for having fun or letting loose. It’s so difficult having to carry the burden of saving the world on your shoulders. It can be full of fear and hopelessness. But then there’s you two: you and Karlach remind the party to laugh, and to live while you can. You play music and sing and Karlach dances to get the mood started. The party spends the night laughing and listening to music- extremely grateful you are among them.

Once the sun sets and the stars settle amongst the sky, you and Karlach might get plenty of offers to join the others for some more ‘fun’, but those honeyed propositions mean nothing to you. You spend the evening in each other's arms, relishing the warmth that radiates from Karlach’s red skin. As you relax in her embrace, you realize something a little ironic: you may be Karlach’s ‘Little Sun’, but she’s your ‘Big Heat’. 

[rockinlibrarian]

🍲🍠🥮🍚

Thanks, anon! This is the writer asks with all food emoji here. Other people can ask, too, I'm generous that way.

🍲 When did you start writing and why?

Like @uniasus, first grade. I had a story dream, as is still my wont, but that was the first (of many) time I said, "That dream was a good story! I should write it down!" I wrote it in a pile of paper folded in the middle and stapled together and added illustrations. It was called "The Christmas Elf" and was about a Santa's helper who was sick of making toys so took our church hostage at Christmas Eve Mass. It could probably go into all sorts of deep things about worker's rights and such that I was surely not thinking about at the age of six. A few years back I even said, "Actually that is an interesting premise, maybe I should rewrite it as a proper picture book." But then I decided it also needed to be in verse, which is dumb of me, because I'm not a poet, and I just made it so much harder for myself, and so I never finished the grownup rewrite either. Oh yeah, I never actually finished the one I wrote in first grade, either. Which leads us to the next question:

🍠 How long does it take you to write one of your fics or a chapter/part?

I considered just leaving my answer at that. But a more complete answer is who knows? I am utterly inconsistent. I will write feverishly and have a story NEARLY done and then not finish it for over a year ("Child of Hypnos" I'm thinking of you-- I really thought it would be a quick one!). I'll rush an idea off in a day, or I'll take years. It's definitely been harder to make time to write in this past year when I've had a full-time job with a Commute, after being Part-Time Literally Down The Street for years. Which again brings us to the next question:

🥮 Do you have any writing milestones you're working toward?

I would just like to finish what I've started, to be honest.

🍚 What genre do you have the toughest time writing?

I was going to say Action Scenes, because I have had trouble when I've had to write them, but then I remembered my favorite old pipe dream, The Mystery. I LOVE mysteries. It's been one of my favorite genres since my mom started reading me Nancy Drew (at about the same time that I started writing). But I haven't got the ...patience? to write it. The careful PLOTTING of it all! The considered laying out of just the right clues at just the right times! Look, I am SURE there are ADHD mystery writers out there whose ADHD actually helps them do it, but mine refuses (much like there are ADHD TEACHERS whose ADHD makes them quick on their feet at dealing with classroom management, but mine just overwhelmed me). It's just too too much to keep track of! Wish I could, though.

[goblin-face-sucker]

grumpy shit under fold

Feeling so fucking crushed tbh. Maybe it's the 2:30am insomnia (which isn't that bad I know). Maybe it's the general feeling of having Too Much to do.

I had like a genuinely really positive day at work - a client fed back how great I was, in front of my head of department. My juniors said they were happy how the project went. This is genuinely huge, because I love love this job, and I am still in probation and I want to pass.

And I tried to celebrate myself! And it gets met with "well duh of course you'll pass probation" like okay haha yeah probably but. I haven't sold anything in, and I'm about five skills behind everyone else on my level. I've never managed anyone before, and it's been over a year since I worked with advertisers directly.

Then we had a great MOTW game, but I felt like I was struggling with my character class cause it didn't feel like it fit the character I wanted play. The keeper said we could change characters at this point, so I was looking, and my friend was looming over my shoulder and I felt so pressured and stressed

I know it's really stupid to get stressed about a ttrpg. I like doing them with my friends, DND is amazing, but I am finding it difficult to relax at all right now, and feel loads of weird pressure.

I also just straight up can't fucking read - no glasses, no energy, and background noise of people talking and I literally stop being able to follow lines horizontally. I can read the individual words, but it's like my eyes won't move side to side anymore.

So I was like struggling to read the different options and I felt embarrassed about it, and they were looming and I love this friend but they can be Very opinionated about what other people should do so I was like "I'm just looking right now" like dude I'm sick, it's after midnight, I don't own a rulebook of this and I can't fucking read so it's taking all my energy. He gets rejection sensitive

So he leaves me, everyone is chatting, I'm looking. I decide now isn't the time and I can stick the class out and maybe the character will die soon, and I can start again anyway. It'll be fun.

But then everyone is like convincing me I should change?? And then my friend just says "you just can't be bothered"

And it just flicked the switch in my brain and now I'm lying awake in The Hole like

Yeah I'm lazy piece of shit.

There is so much stuff I haven't got done. And everyone knows. Like. I haven't painted the ceiling yet, or rode my bike, or cleaned the alleyway, or combined my pensions, or booked a holiday, or vacuumed the bedroom since last week, or changed the sheets, or sorted the laundry, or finished my privacy certificate at work, or emailed that client about their backfill, or worked on my novel, or contacted the Brighton writing group, or meal prepped that chicken, or been to the gym three times this week.

And people keep asking me, and I haven't done it, whatever it is, cause I'm a lazy piece of shit.

[rowanmuppet]

oooh what's some of ur penny lamb (legoland) hcs!!!

Okay so first of all it took me AGES to get to this and for that I'm SORRY but anyways disclaimer I haven't even read Legoland in its entirety yet I keep putting it off 😭 so these are kinda more general I think

- (these first couple are rtc specific but after this it's general I promise!!) I like to think that after being brought back, penny remembered the choir and I know this is very unlikely but it makes me happy to imagine she has some vague idea of who they were/what happened but she's not really aware of it? It makes me sad to imagine she loses all her memories again and I also choose to believe that Legoland penny is rtc penny too.

- speaking of that, her and Ricky were friends before the accident argue with the literal wall. They were definitely each other's first real friends at St. Cass cause everyone kinda ignored Ricky and penny was. Penny

- But anyway, penny in general time! She gives everyone rocks she finds outside but they're not even remotely cool looking? They're like straight up plain rocks but she always says "this reminded me of you" and it has like. No distinguishing qualities??

- She would also give people bugs. Idk if you've seen those tiktoks where that person is in their garden at night and just grabbing various animals/insects but that's so her. She'd go "hey can you hold this rq" and it's a literal handful of worms

- she would take a bug as a pet and keep it in a container under her bed but then get nervous about getting caught and throw it out the window one night because she would also feel low-key guilty for keeping it out of its home (definitely not based off something I did as a child)

- I low-key think she knows how to like, forage? She grew up on that commune and I'm imagining the crunchiness levels were off the charts like she was definitely eating grass and sticks as a child but also knows what mushrooms/flowers will kill you

- because of this she has the immune system of a horse like she's never been sick in her life, as opposed to ocean who gets sick if you look at her wrong during flu season

- walks almost completely silently and scares everyone. Constantly. She would pop out from behind things and yell "DANGER" at them. And they would always be genuinely surprised

- had a HUGE horse girl phase like would beg for a horse every day because she read an American girl book about a ranch (I definitely didn't do this either)

- Ricky's 14th cat was a new one at the time of the accident and was named by penny. Was named nickel because then they would be matching. (And I know they're Canadian but they know about American currency shush)

- penny is kinda just Like That like, she didn't really act too different as Jane doe. She was just quieter but she would definitely go up to people reciting animal facts or stand really really close to somebody by accident and just stare at them (not to be creepy she just has an off putting vibe to her)

- your honor I don't care WHAT the Legoland script says she is a LESBIAN

- she not only collects antique dolls (we all know this by now) but she probably has at least 3 other miscellaneous collections. Or maybe they're sub-groups of dolls. Like she collects clowns, porcelain dolls and stuffed animals for example

- would definitely have at least one teddy where the face is replaced with a clay face plate that she sculpted herself to look *creepy*

- wore a lot of victorian ruffly shirts when she was alive. Kinda like Jane's in the musical but with some variety

- I am a "penny lamb short double braids" truther cause I couldn't decide what hairstyle I liked better for her

- and finally. Undiagnosed autism. But you'd really think someone would've picked up on it at some point

[fatphobia-is-stupid]

I hope one day you actually educate yourself and are able to go into a deeper breath of the problems at hand. Really sick of the blogs or people on the internet where it's clear that they did not do any research and are just pirating familiar viewpoints that they picked up from the same people who are self-masbutory pseudo intellectuals who feel intelligent for repeating bare bones statements and their audience feels intelligent for repeating bare bones statements. I mean the fact your blog is themed around spreading misinformation and harmful stuff about fat people and to fat people was enough and then I got to your posts complaining about people tearing down monuments and that was like the nail on the coffin. LMFAOO. Please grow and change as a person 🙏 fuck off until then! Blogs like this and people like you is why eating disorders are a thing. You people claim to care about mental health but are doing things that make people mentally ill in a thousand ways and mental illness kills people on the daily. Maybe, just maybe, fat people aren't mentally ill because they are fat, they aren't insecure because they are fat, but because people like you exist. And maybe try to go to verifiable sources for your information, not random right Wingers on the internet or articles with clear bad bias towards fat people. You're on the wrong side being fatphobic. Ever heard of a fascist who was pro fat people? No? I wonder why 🤔

Wow alot to unpack here.

All the information I have you can find online in the .gov or either public research medical studies that you can read. Such as

Any people who have done the research and testing can be found there.

This has nothing to do with the "right wingers". Just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean that there wasn't researched done on it Hun. They are also credible.

As for mental health well that's still new in regards to research. Last I checked only 5 dos volumes have been made. You see it takes time to figure out what the heck is going on with the human body let alone the brain. As we keep on living there is an adaptation process as well. Not to mention environmental/social changes that cause different outcomes to how humans react. Heck depression wasn't even a thought until recent. There are just too many factors to what could be causing mental disorders, and it's not just because someone's feelings were hurt. At the end of the day they are just words on here, so why get triggered? Unless it was something that happened in the past, and from there you just do deduction. I literally have had to do that myself. I figured out that I have suppressed certain things that have happened in the past, and reasons as to why it caused panic attacks or binge eating. There isn't a pill to make that disappear unless you actually have a chemical malfunction in the brain, and those cases aren't as common as once thought. 🤷🏻‍♀️ You have to do the work on yourself and use exercises to help with the process, and it's not a short period of doing this but years possibly.

As for the tearing down monuments blog I did. The full article shortened, was me stating that since we are getting rid of certain parts of history we are doomed to repeat. That's a saying for a reason, and hurt feelings isn't going to change what happened in the past.

Fascism has nothing to do with the health problems that people are facing due to unhealthy eating and living. It's hard work to not take shortcuts for health. I'm not saying that I haven't fallen into it, because I have and am still trying to get healthy before it becomes irreversible. Once your health goes down it goes down fast. There have already been a couple pro fat activists that have either changed their livelihood or just straight up die. Being fat is not sustainable, and comes with more cons than pros.

Facts have been served to your wishy washy anon comment/question.

[morfanerina]

Watched the Last Voyage of the Demeter, slept on it and I'm still severely disappointed by it, both as a horror and as an adaptation.

Actually especially disappointed as an adaptation, they had what? 6 paragraphs to follow and all the freedom in the world and managed to screw what little constraints they had?

Rant with Spoilers below:

So, I don't have anything to say about the beginning. Wonderful views, everyone was appropriately spooked by the symbol, we have a child on board and the first mate was finding new crew members. Three of them, on of which ends up being our POV character.

Cool so far though isn't that ship far too big for a crew of only 10 (including the captain)? It's faithfull but, ya know.

And then we get Anna. Now Anna was in one of the boxes of dirt to be fed on by Dracula as a snack until the boat reached high water wherein Dracula would feed on the crew. That didn't work because that box opened up and the crew discovered Anna was on board, sick. To save her our heroic doctor does some blood transfusions. With his own blood. Daily (?). Pretty sure he would get woozy but Sure why Not.

This brings conflict with the crew since many of them are supersticious or just feel she is too much of a stoaway. It doesn't matter as her function in story is:

A: conflict bringer

B: exposition about the monster

C: i think we are supposed to assume the doctor and her have romantic feelings for each other at the end?

Also she has badass scenes and brings heart as a victim and willingly sacrifices herself by burning at the sunlight #girlboss

Oh yeah. Them burning in sunlight is bitten and turning into a mindless slave. If you haven't read Dracula, this will be: yeah makes sense. If you have, I hope you are pissed off by this change. And also by the change that religious symbols such as crosses do not affect Dracula.

I guess that's why Anna says that somehow Dracula has no one to feed from in her country. He must have eaten them all (directly contradicted by the fact she is a literal sacrifice to him) because it certainly weren't the crosses and so on to defend themselves that did it.

With this let's go to what this change actually implies in story. See, the characters actually eventually disciver where Dracula sleeps, the specific box even (it was literally the more embellished box.

Yeah.). And they know he only attacks at night and have literally seen on of their crew dying in flames implying Dracula would stay during the day in the box.

So they plan to ambush him at night and not use the knowledge of that box ever. Even Jonathan in the book whacked the vampire in the face while he was sleeping.

I will cut the ranting a bit to now talk about the end.

First: the doctor survives. This is stupid especially as the last scene is he looking super cool while promising himself he would end the blight of Dracula, hunting and finishing him himself.... which won't happen as we literally have how the story goes and he is not at all involved.

Second: master of disguise Dracula doesn't have a human face. Yeah, I was expecting to see his human face but no, it's just the design they created with fancy clothes. Are you joking.

Speaking of jokes Olgaren got possessed and I literally turned to my friend who has read Dracula and said: Mina Harker would never. And it's true, biting doesn't mean turning into vampire unless that person dies and... something. Dying is an important step however.

I'll finish by talking on how disappointing the horror aspect was. There was no actual psychological horror, Dracula played with the religious crewmember sailing away once and the rest he was a beast. It was basically jump scares and gore.

All in all: you could have done so many things, so much freedom and you did this? Truly disappointed.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #47 (part one)

previously - Journal Entry #46 (part seven)

Victor

Hey, everyone.

So, it's been a while, and I'm not even sure where to start. Things have been... chaotic. I guess Yuri's been keeping you up to date, and I'm sure he's told you all about my accident and everything that's been happening since, so I won't go over that again. Living it once was enough, and I'm still having nightmares about it, so... yeah. I'm trying to keep my waking hours as free from it as I can.

I haven't felt like recording anything up to now. I mean, I obviously couldn't while I was in the hospital, but since I've been home again, I haven't had the mental stamina for it, or the physical stamina either, really. Being in pain is pretty exhausting, honestly. I think I probably already knew that from taking care of Yuri, but now I understand it from personal experience. I'm not used to feeling like crap and having hardly any energy, and it sucks.

I’m confident that my arms and rib are slowly getting better, and Mom says the bruises I had on my face and shoulder and down my side are totally gone, but I'm still having brutal headaches and I still can't see properly. Julian had to set up my phone for me so I could record this. If I'm not looking right into the camera, I'm sorry, and if I'm accidentally giving all of you like, a thousand-yard stare or something, I apologize for that too.

Sometimes I think my eyes are improving, but then I'll blink or I'll try to focus on something and it's just gone again. Mostly, everything's all blurry and indistinct, as if I'm looking through one of those frosted glass shower doors. It's frustrating because not only can I not play games on my Switch or text on my phone, I can't even do stuff that doesn't require major use of my hands and arms, like watching videos or practicing my reading or even picking out audio books by myself. I have to get help finding an audio book to listen to, or a movie. I basically have to listen to movies too, which is annoying.

When I'm not in too much pain, I get bored, and without being able to do anything to distract myself, all I can do is think. I don't like that. It's too scary and depressing, especially when I start worrying about whether my life really is going to get back to normal.

I realize it's only been a little over a week since my accident — this is Monday night and it happened a week ago Friday — so I shouldn't expect too much, too soon. The doctor did say it might take a few weeks or maybe up to a month for the worst of the symptoms to resolve, after all, and I might be dealing with some aftereffects for months. She said it was a grade 4 concussion, which is the most severe type because I was unconscious for more than a full minute, and she said I've got mild swelling of the brain. That's the explanation for the bad headaches and dizziness and of course the vision problems. I'm not supposed to be doing anything strenuous, or even remotely active, really. I'm not even allowed to climb the stairs by myself until the doctor clears me to do it. Not that I can actually climb the stairs by myself anyway, but you know.

Earlier today, Yuri's dad arranged an appointment for me with the oppthalmologist that he and Mrs. Okamoto, Yuri and Yuki all go to. Her name is Dr. Ishida, and she's going to see me this coming Friday. Exactly two weeks after the accident, if you're counting. I'm hoping she gives me better news than the ophthalmologist at the hospital did.

Yeah, you didn't hear that wrong. Mr. Okamoto arranged it. Yuri was going to do it himself, but he's actually sick right now and he's not up to making important phone calls. Like, he's sick enough for the hospital, if you ask me, but I think somebody would literally have to carry him out to the car to get him there.

Managing at home when he's this ill is not ideal in my opinion, but he says he doesn't want to go to the hospital because he doesn't want to leave me. I totally get that. I don't want us to be apart either, but I'm also freaking out because I can't take care of him like I usually do, and he's not comfortable with Mom or Julian doing what I normally would. Plus, they don't know everything they should be doing for him anyway, and it's super difficult for me to explain it.

All I can say is, thank goodness for Yuri's dad.

I know what you're likely thinking. Up to now, Yuri and his father have been on really bad terms and barely spoke to each other, and Mr. Okamoto hasn’t exactly been my biggest fan either, so why am I saying I’m grateful for him? Well, the thing is, he’s surprised us all during the last several days, and not in a negative way.

Let me try to explain.

Maybe people think Yuri’s not interested in a relationship with his dad, and I guess I wouldn’t blame anyone for believing that, considering how tense things were in the past. Yuri does actually want a relationship, but he and his dad are both so stubborn that once they started resenting each other for whatever real or imagined hurt they'd caused, neither one of them was willing to let go. I think Mr. Okamoto was more at fault than Yuri for the problems between them, mostly because he didn't know how to deal with Yuri not living up to his unreasonable expectations, but to be fair, you can't have a disagreement by yourself. Yuri isn't just an innocent victim of his dad's difficult personality and crappy communication skills. He had his own part to play.

But, since my accident, we're seeing a side of Mr. Okamoto that we've never seen before. It started with him coming to the hospital right after it happened, to sign consent forms, talk to the doctors and generally deal with stuff until Yuri could get there. Then, he stayed here with Yuri while I was in the hospital, which I was grateful for. I didn't like to think about him being alone. He said it was awkward, having his father here, but also kind of reassuring in a way.

I'm glad they both seem to be softening up, at least for the moment. Yuri really needs his dad in his life, and seeing Mr. Okamoto ready and willing to help us says something about how much has changed between them in a short time.

I want to be optimistic that things are going to get better between them going forward. Anyone who didn't know the whole story would probably be inclined to be positive in this situation, and maybe I should be too. I promise I'm trying, but knowing Mr. Okamoto, I have my doubts. He's not great at consistency and he hasn't shown much interest in the past, but I guess there's always a chance this time it'll be different. For Yuri's sake, I hope so, but I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

Anyway, on Saturday night after dinner, Mr. Okamoto came over to get the stuff Hana left here that morning. Apparently, Yuri had called or texted him to pick it up because he didn't want her coming back here for it herself. I'm pretty sure nobody wanted her to come back, least of all me, so I was relieved when my father-in-law took the bags and made his exit.

I'm not sure I was quite so relieved when he returned about two hours later, with bags of his own, and with Yuki in tow.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I was thrilled to see Yuki. I just didn’t know what to expect with her and her father planning to stay here.

When Yuki first saw me, she ran to me and hugged me so hard that I thought she might break a few more of my ribs. Then we both cried a veritable flood while she told me she loved me and that she was glad I was alive.

I hadn't realized she was at the hospital with my friends on the day of my accident, and my heart hurt when she told me how worried she'd been. Nobody would tell her anything, she said, and when she wasn’t allowed to see me, she’d feared the worst. I said I was sorry for saying I didn't want anyone to come and see me in the hospital, and she said she understood, but I wondered if she did. In hindsight, I should've agreed to let her visit. I might've felt better after a hug from my favourite local super spy and internet personality, Yuki Okamoto.

Yuki and her father haven’t left here since Saturday night. He brought the smallest shikibuton for Yuki, and of course a normal sized one for himself, and the two of them have set up camp in the laundry room, of all places. Mom and Julian are in my room, Yuri's in his own room, and of course I'm still in the dining room, so it was the only spot left.

Mr. Okamoto said he was here to help. Nobody questioned him, not even Yuri. Since then, he's been doing all kinds of things around the house, including cooking and baking, which he's good at, and housecleaning chores, which he's not good at. Most importantly, he's doing things for Yuri, like helping him in the bathroom, and making sure he stays as nourished and hydrated as possible. Mom said he even gave him a bath this morning, which in her words, "left the upstairs bathroom looking like a small tsunami went through."

While Mom mused aloud about how he could've gotten so much water everywhere and why there were so many wet towels, and complained about the disaster area he'd left behind, I laughed so hard it hurt. I was trying to picture it, and all I could think about was the time me and Ellie were babysitting her cousins, and the four-year-old decided he wanted to be a sea monster while in the bath. We even got water on the ceiling that day, although we never mentioned it to Ellie’s aunt and uncle. I guessed Yuri probably hadn’t been anywhere near as lively as that kid had been, and it was much less likely that he’d wanted to play a game and splash around for fun, so it left me curious about the mess, too.

Bathtime tsunami notwithstanding, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thankful for Mr. Okamoto's help right now. I doubt he's anywhere close to my standards when it comes to Yuri's care, but far be it from me to look this particular gift horse in the mouth. That he's even here at all is astounding, and the fact that he basically rolled up his sleeves and plunged into the current state of madness in our home is a super big deal.

On a connected and somewhat lighter note, I'm pretty sure Julian and Mr. Okamoto are besties now. Mom still seems a little cool toward him, but he and Julian have instantly bonded over their shared interests. They both play the piano, they both love art, and apparently Mr. Okamoto is as big a science fiction and fantasy nerd as Julian. Not gonna lie, listening to the two of them geek out over video games, role playing, Llama Man comics, and classic sci-fi B movies like It Came From Sixam and Day of the Plant Sims was kind of surreal.

It was highly entertaining, having an Uncle Kaz movie marathon with them on Sunday night. We watched some of Uncle Kaz's older Japanese-language films, with English subtitles, and me and Mr. Okamoto tried our best to help Julian understand the jokes. It was fun and felt weirdly comfortable, and by the end of it, my father-in-law and future stepfather were on a first-name basis. I'm not even allowed to call my father-in-law Kenji, so obviously Julian has made a great impression.

Wait... let me backtrack a bit. Like, a lot of stuff happened before the movie marathon, and it's way more important.

On Sunday, we all slept in. Once everybody except Yuri had finally gotten out of bed, Mr. Okamoto and Yuki made rice, eggs and grilled fish for breakfast, and it was so good. Mom had to feed most of my meal to me, but Yuki and I figured out a way for me to grip a spoon without using my thumb, so with her guidance, I was able to feed myself a bowl of rice. It was strange not using chopsticks, and I still feel embarrassed about getting help to eat, but I'm learning to accept it. It’s only temporary, and things could be a lot worse, right?

But, I digress.

After breakfast, Julian helped me upstairs so I could lie down and cuddle with Yuri for a while, and try to figure out just how ill he was. I knew it was serious the night before, when he didn’t come downstairs to share my mattress in the dining room, but I didn’t know the extent of it until I could see him and physically touch him.

To my dismay, it was way worse than I’d expected. He’d been unwell for a couple of weeks before my accident, and I realized he’d been declining, but this was really bad. It blew my mind how he’d managed to hide the true severity of his pain from me, but I reminded myself that I hadn’t exactly been in a fit state to notice every little nuance of his demeanour and body language like I normally would.

Obviously, he’d been forcing himself to do everything he thought he had to do instead of resting and taking care of himself, and by Saturday night his body didn’t have enough fight left in it. His immune system is weak at the best of times, and it’s like he’s constantly pushing through a state of nearly always being mildly unwell, but this had clearly been a headlong rush into a full-on crash. There was no way he hadn’t seen this coming, even if I hadn’t.

Once I was settled in bed with him, I let him lay on top of me the way he likes, even though it made my cracked rib hurt like hell. It was pointless to say anything or to try stopping him. He was so out of it, he probably didn't even realize what he was doing and just instinctively crawled onto me, seeking any bit of familiarity and human closeness he could find. I felt bad for him because even though I was in discomfort, I knew he was in far more pain than I was. I could feel heat radiating off his skin, and every time I moved even slightly, he whimpered.

I wished with every fibre of my being that I could make all his suffering disappear. I hated that he was so sick, and that it was at least partly my fault for not paying better attention to him and letting it get to this point without insisting that he needed rest and medical attention.

"This isn't good, Yuri," I told him, after I’d inadvertently shifted my weight, and he literally cried out from either the movement itself or the abrupt change of pressure against his stomach.

“Don’t… don’t do that,” he gasped. “Hurts. Gonna make me throw up.”

Normally, I might make a joke about him throwing up in bed, but this was not a laughing situation. “If you have to, tell me. I’ll yell for your dad.”

“Please… don’t.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. His tears were soaking through my t-shirt, and I felt helpless to comfort him. “Do you want to lay a different way? It might be less uncomfortable if you’re lying on your side or your back.”

“Wanna lie like this. With our whole bodies touching.”

“We can do that with you on your side,” I said. “You can be the little spoon.”

“Don’t wanna be the little spoon.” And to prove how adamant he was about it, he curled his fingers around a fistful of my shirt, as if daring me to pry him loose. I could feel his little hand trembling against my shoulder .

I rubbed small lines on his back with my fingertips. It felt inadequate, but it was all I could do with my arm in a cast. “Yuri,” I said. “Can you listen to me for a second?”

“Yeah,” was the weak reply.

"You need to see a doctor.”

“Don't want to.”

“You can’t go on like this. You need help, and you need to be somewhere where somebody can take care of you properly.”

"No..." He dragged out the single English syllable in a long whine before continuing in barely intelligible Japanese, "Want you to take care of me."

"I can't, sweet baby," I said. "I love you so much and I want to do everything for you, and I really I wish I could, but this is too much for either of us right now. You need to be where somebody can tend to you night and day, and I think you're gonna need medicine and intravenous fluids to help you get better."

"No," he repeated.

"Yes," I insisted. "Remember last time you were this sick? You needed fluids and antibiotics, and your doctor said the hospital was the best place for you."

"Don't want antibiotics. Make me feel worse."

"I know, but only for a short time. After that, you'll start feeling better a lot quicker. Let your dad take you to the hospital so you can get better?”

“No.”

“I’m worried about you, Yuri. Please.”

"Don't wanna be alone." he said.

"You wouldn't be alone. Me and Mom and Julian would all take turns staying with you. I think even your dad would. He's really stepped up lately, you know."

"Gotta tell him..." Yuri said, but then seemed to lose the thought, and mumbled something that sounded like, "My violin."

I smiled despite the circumstances. "You have to tell your dad about your violin? What about it?"

He let out a little grunt of frustration and tugged feebly at my shirt. "Victor!"

"I'm here."

"Listen."

"I'm listening, love."

"My violin case. Tell Papa..." He trailed off momentarily, as if he was trying to think of how to make the most impact with as few words as possible. "In my violin case. Look. It's important."

"Okay," I agreed.

"Thank you," he whispered. And then, "Love you. Just... wanna protect you."

"I know," I said. "I love you too."

"Please... tell Papa. Promise."

"I promise."

That satisfied him, and he let out a long, shaky breath that was half sigh and half moan. "Gonna sleep," he murmured. He was still clutching my shirt, but it didn't take long before I felt his fingers relax.

I lay awake, thinking. I couldn't imagine what would be in Yuri's violin case other than his violin, and why it'd be so important for his father to see it, but he was so insistent that I figured I'd better not ignore his request. Besides, I promised, and you guys know how I hate breaking promises, especially ones I've made to Yuri.

When I was sure he was sound asleep, I eased him off me as carefully as I could, and then climbed out of bed. It took me a second to orient myself, and then a few more seconds to crawl my way over to where Yuri usually keeps his violin case, on the floor next to his dresser. I could make out the shape of it, and to my surprise, the distinct shape of his violin on its stand next to it. He almost never leaves his violin out for long periods of time. I didn't know when he'd practiced last, but it definitely hadn't been since I got out of the hospital. He wouldn't have left it out since Thursday, so I guessed he must've taken it out sometime on Saturday.

But why?

Cursing my clumsy fingers, I fumbled with the latch of the case for a minute or two. I let out my breath when I finally got it open.

What I found inside was something I totally did not expect. It was a beige file folder stuffed with papers.

I didn't dare try to lift it out by myself, fearing that I'd end up spilling the contents all over the floor. I knew I wouldn't be able to read anything, but I had to soothe my curiosity anyway, so I hooked my fingers under the cover of the folder and flipped it open.

I'll admit, had no idea what to make of it when I thought I saw two passports inside. Why would Yuri have our passports in a folder like this? He’d said he wanted to protect me, but surely that didn’t include leaving the country? Neither of us were in any shape for that. I didn’t understand.

I probably would've panicked if my bruised brain hadn't suddenly registered the fact that both passports were red. The covers of Canadian passports are dark blue, so neither of these could've been mine, and if mine wasn't there then Yuri's wasn't either. Even if either of us could travel, he wouldn't go anywhere without me. I was sure of that.

But, that only begged the question, whose passports were they? And what was Yuri doing with them?

Obviously, it wasn't something he was trying to hide from me, or he wouldn't have directed me to them and asked me to tell his father. The thing was, there was no way in hell I was going to show anything to Mr. Okamoto until I knew what it was myself.

Since I couldn't read the papers, and I couldn't ask Yuri about them, I decided there was only one thing to do. I made my way the short distance back to the bed, and then felt around carefully on the nightstand to locate Yuri's phone. I was glad we'd activated voice dialling on both our phones a few days ago, as that was going to make my mission a whole lot easier.

I had to concentrate to remember how Yuri had listed my mother in his contacts, but once I got it, I said aloud into the silence of the room, "Hey, Siri. Call Dr. Grace."

Mom answered on the second ring, and she sounded both confused and worried. "Yuri? Is everything okay, sweetheart? Why are you calling me from upstairs?"

"Mom, it's me," I said. "Yuri's sleeping. Everything's pretty much as you'd expect, but... can you come up, please? I need your help with something important."

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'll show you in a minute. Please, just come up. I don’t want to tell you over the phone.”

That last sentence came out weird, like a line from a badly-scripted TV show, but I didn’t waste brainpower stressing over it. I had a feeling I’d need to save my mental energy to deal with whatever I was about to learn about the passports and Yuri’s folder full of mystery papers.

"Okay," Mom said. "Hang on. I'll be right there."

[nochi-quinn]

campaign 3 episode 58: brb flying to la to steal matt's shins

I got sick again today but I'M TRYING

they got him!!

"we really should give all our producers a raise"

marisha that top

I believe the trope is magipunk but obvs I haven't seen it yet

HOWEVER magipunk is one of my favorite tropes so I'm hoping

game now called Taliesin's Baby

I hate literally every second of this

"teeth, tentacles and terror" hate that too

mapphew strikes again

"the trees have bones"

"we had a real estate agent but they ghosted us" BOO

"it's a bit much"

"I think you grabbed the one that was too big"

augh the wolf snouts coming out of it

"six :D"

HATE THAT NOISE

matt's noises are also hurting my brain so this tracks

nobody gets freaked out by legendary actions like travis gets freaked out by legendary actions

"BUT THAT'S METAGAMING"

"he's actually half butts"

matt says Make Expensive Choices

why does laura sound like she's on Old Timey Radio

I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO

it's a Wet Monster it should take double from lightning

Chew Again

BIT IT AND QUIT IT

"how many of its butts fell off"

guiding bolt upp the butt(s)

FEARNE

"matthew how DARE you roll a natural 20"

NINE

FRIDA

somebody curse matt's dice

trade matt's dice with laura's

frida pulling every available feat out to throw at the meat tower

Action Surge Sharpshooter Grit Point is the fighter version of Reckless Great Weapon Master

"please gif that"

"aRe YoU uSiNg ThE sAmE dIcE"

"say parmesan if you want me to hit him" "PARMESAN"

"OKLAHOMA SAFE WORD"

a whole lot of rules just got flung around and I zoned out in self-defense

"a weird divacup for this massive period stain"

AUNT FLOW

"does it have eyes" "occasionally" "you can't SAY THAT"

hey I hate it

"a roll I wish I had failed"

gay

"tree trunk of skin" [lenny]

"it's not the holy grail!" "if you read enough dan brown - kinda!"

liam is here in spirit

AND ON SAM'S GAS CAN APPARENTLY

"GIVE HER BANGS"

"no, we just got the art"

oh hate

oh HATE

please run. please leave.

it is going to Eat You

"I rolled a 1 but it comes out to 23"

this is the closest we've gotten to matt breaking out an hourglass in a while

"paper - not being humanoid - because it's a piece of paper - "

"it's nOT A DILDO"

"frida - take this down"

CHRISTIAN

"and then I burn the notes and leave" okay arkhan

"just be a little smarter, okay?"

and then it WORKED

"this gargamel motherfucker stealing smurfs"

"I've never read a book. I'm actually older than books."

not the dot matrix printer

"be careful, link….the yuck moon rises once again…"

"I only saw her from the back but my god was she beautiful"

"abs for days"

COBOSO

"I don't know why wizards would have abs"

"it was very sad, he died, clearly"

irl gifts IRL GIFTS

SHIRTS

"I invented polyester"

and in the COLOR SCHEMES

"it's segmented, sepratated" sasha nein's mindscape

"you're a mess"

don't chase the rabbit!

if there are stars when you look down -

everybody gets presents

"it's a sweatshirt made out of wood"

YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE

"one more?" "…….ka-put"

EVERYBODY GETS PRESENTS

eabria come get your smut

their collective quest to get travis to turn into a tomato

I can't believe this is canon

they almost have to swap back now right. right? this is such a good place to wrap up. please return the other half of the table.

thank you for not being That Guy matt

;-;

HEY MATT??

YOU'VE SUFFERED A TERRIBLE FATE HAVEN'T YOU

the RED END

did fcg just become a champion?

IS DEANNA BEING MADE A CHAMPION?

gods going through their whole rolodex sending out SOSes

I forgot how much of a dick pelor is

I'm sorry, the ~dawnfather~

wait is the spider queen freaking out at opal? is this a disaster on both sides of the aisle?

where's opal, I wanna talk to opal

imogen is the kid who grew up secular and heard about every different religion from pop culture osmosis

(imogen is me)

it's a Stuff-Doing-Coin

see in scripted media her giving him the ring would be an enormous death flag. it still kind of is because I'm a paranoid panda but still

you have to give travis the inventory it's the rules

SDKJFLKSD

matt

THE RTA

sam sploded

this is tonight's real lore drop

just throw a dart at the map

it does DAMAGE?

"why does he say it like that"

MATTHOLOMEW MERCER

"WHAT'S NEW JERSEY"

liam's not even here to do the accent

"that's more fun" FOR WHO

NO FUCK YOU

LAURA

MATT

I HATE EVERYONE HERE

"I can't tell if she's doing a bit"

BEEN A WHILE SINCE I WANTED TO FIGHT THEM IN THE PARKING LOT AFTER THE SHOW BUT HERE WE ARE

[softxsuki]

Hello! I saw your 1000 follower match up event and I wanted to participate lol. I hope you have a great day, and your friends and family is doing well❣️

I was going to go on annon but then decided that there's nothing embarassing about this, so... yea :D I'll begin then.

1- Gendered pronouns dont really exist in where I live but I'd say it's she-her.

2 - The fandoms I really like are Tears of Themis and Obey Me!.

3 - I'm fine with both Female and Male <3

4 - I like romantic match-ups more.

5 - I'm an INTP-T

6 - I'm a december sagittarius.

7 - Personally I value humour, realism and honesty. I cannot tolerate bullshit where it's a game of cat and mouse, or if they treat me as a disposable object just to make me "jealous". I feel sick to my stomach when I see that. It's fun when you're friends since nothing is ever seriousin a friendship, but a relationship or a flirt has to be kept to a proper level with set boundaries. I can't do casual relationships, though ironically, I'm very afraid of commitment...

8 - Hm, I don't really have a type. Just tall men and women in general, I like it when they hover over me. I also love pathetic men and women lol (not in a literal sense, more like a comical sense. Someone who gets crinkled up like a tissue paper whenever they are in an unfamiliar situation or something like that)

9 - I'm laid back. I dont really show that I care about things until it gets late and I start thinking about it on my bed. I get emotional easily, especially anger is one of the easiest emotions to show for me. People say that I'm hard to read me and call me weird. Also if I really like something, I want all variations of it. Like a specific clothing piece, a particular brand of sketch books, etc. I value money a lot too. Though I can't do math at all.

10 - I love drawing, anime-style games, listening to different types of music and writing. I also knit sometimes.

11- I'm still a student, getting ready for an important exam soon lol. I have a cat, and I feed and pet countless others outside. I love aquariums, though I can't visit them because they are so far away. I despise alcohol because it stinks. I hate cigarettes too. I'm really good at hiding my irritation towards a person when they are present. I like gossiping a lot, though I never call people names if they haven't hurt me or my friends. I also like drawing a lot, and making up stories. I also tend to daydream a lot. And I can't live without the brief moments of time where i just sit down in front of my computer to watch movies after a long day.

12 - I love scenerios where I'm the one that does the comforting. I'm awkward around people who are upset. So being able to take care of someone when they are down is something I desparately want to do, yet I find myself at a loss of what to do. I love scenerios where I see my favorite character get snapped in two like a glowstick, yknow. If that isnt clear enough, I want to see heavy angst with this character. Could be anything. Death (could be the reader/character/anyone thats involved in the character's life), being wronged and extremely frustrated because of it, having their life-long ambitions fail, things like that.

1000 Follower Event Matchup #6

My event is now CLOSED, but I will be doing more events like these in the future. You can checkout the masterlist for this event here.

Note: Hello! Welcome to my blog :D, I'm glad you found me. I'm just noticing your Artem PFP now and (spoiler) I'm a little sad that I didn't pair you with him, I felt like he could be a little too serious at times, and that wouldn't be too compatible based on what you asked for. SO I'M SORRY. I HOPE YOU STILL ENJOY THIS MATCHUP :( <3. I think both of these guys will compliment you very well based on how you described yourself along with the more technical aspects like mbti and zodiac sign (though I never base my matchups solely on those bc they aren't always 100% accurate, they just give me a starting point). Anyway I hope you enjoy!

I match you with LUKE PEARCE and SIMEON

Runner-ups were Vyn and Mammon (didn’t choose them though, because I think even though they’re both loyal to no end, they wouldn’t be 100% clear about their feelings for you)

Luke:

Technical: Your INFP and ISFJ connection is pretty great. You both communicate perfectly together and get along well. There’s never any miscommunication with you both. You each bring out a part of each other that you couldn’t without each other, and you work well as a team in lifting each other up. However, you could easily tire each other out with high highs and low lows, so make sure you take reasonable breaks from each other. Once you lay out your differences and accept them, your relationship will go a lot smoother from there. As for you both being Saggitarius’ get ready for a life of adventure together. You will both want to travel the world and see and experience as much as possible together. And while being too invested in only having fun and not being more realistic, I think you both have qualities that level you down so you don’t get too carried away, which could bring problems in the relationship. But you both would balance fun and seriousness well. 

Personable: Luke is your perfect boy next door. He has all the qualities you’d ever want in a partner. He’s intelligent, adventurous, caring, loyal, honest, yet still humorous and he can be a realist I think. He would make you feel very secure in your relationship with him. You know he’ll never have eyes for anyone else and he buys you flowers and tells you how much he missed you when he comes back from work along with a hug and kiss. He makes it a habit to always greet you before leaving for work and when he comes back home. (if you live separately, then he calls or texts you every morning before work and does the same or tries to see you after he closes his shop for the day).

Luke would NEVER try and make you feel jealous. Even in the beginning before he knew you had feelings for him, he’d never try and get those feelings out by trying to make you feel jealous. He wouldn't want to hurt you if you did happen to have feelings for him. I’m not sure how tall you are, but Luke is pretty tall at 5’11 (180cm) so I think that’s a great height. MMM I think Luke also meets your ‘pathetic man’ requirement in that he’s a little awkward at the beginning of your relationship. So things like holding hands and kissing are still new to him and he’s never been in a real relationship before so he does get a little FNJEAFEA when thing like that happen in the beginning. But I think he’d always be partly a little blushy and shy around you even when he is 100% comfortable around you because he still can’t believe he’s with you!

I know Luke has a bad habit of lying to try to keep you safe, so he tries to show you his best self at all times and keeps you away from the dangerous part of his work, but he does this because he cares about you. I truly believe that over time in a romantic relationship with you, he’d learn to let you in more and let you see even the ugly parts of himself. So please be patient with him and speak your mind about how him hiding stuff makes you feel! That’ll encourage him to open up a little more, but be a little patient with him :3

He’s super supportive in terms of your studies and offers to help as much as he can if you need it! He’s very patient, but I don’t think he’d ever make you upset or anything serious like that. He respects any boundaries you put up and you'll have no issues with smoke or alcohol with him. He won’t drink or smoke, especially if you don’t like it, but I’m sure he doesn’t do those things anyway. You love aquariums? Well, Luke will definitely take you on many dates to one, even if it’s super far, you guys will make it into a day trip. As for your cat, he’ll love that cat as much as you do. Don’t be surprised if your cat goes to him for pets and cuddles first NFJEAFJKI. Overall, I think this relationship would blossom into something really healthy and beautiful. Just give it some time!

Comforting Luke After Someone Close to Him Passes Away

Warning: don’t read if you don’t like mentions of people passing away

I really think Luke is the type to not want to burden the people in his life with his emotions, so he tries to bottle his feelings up or isolate himself

So when he finds out that one of his older, loyal customers passes away before he gets a chance to see the antique Luke had repaired for him, Luke kinda shuts down

He closes the shop for a few weeks and tells his detective agency that he can’t go on any missions for a while. He’s just moping in bed and hasn’t called you very often

SO of course, you know something is up and so you let yourself into his apartment after walking through the store that was already starting to collect dust from being closed for a while

You open his apartment door with the spare key he made for you and see the mess inside his apartment as well

It’s dark and dusty, as if no one has been living in there for a while

You make your way to Luke’s bed, which he is lying in, and he doesn’t even flinch as you take a seat on his mattress at the end of his bed and poke him a bit

He knows you’re there, but he doesn't want you to see him in that state, so he stays facing the wall

So you just start talking; Luke had already told you about his customer passing away, but he brushed over the way it had made him feel when he texted you about it

You knew it would affect your soft-hearted boyfriend though, hence why you gave him his space to grieve, but you were now here to shake him out of his sadness before he rotted away

You get up from his bed and start tidying up for him; starting with opening the shades to let in some natural light, you get to dusting and cleaning up so at least Luke can be surrounded by cleanliness which might help him feel better

As you’re cleaning, Luke finally turns over and just watches you do your thing

Just seeing you there in his once dark, lonely apartment makes him feel a little better, but he still stays in bed, unmoving

He just needs times and some more talking from you to get back into his normal groove

Make him some dinner or order take-out, it doesn’t matter, just get this man eating quickly because we all know he probably has only been munching on whatever he could find in his apartment since he can’t cook

Only when he smells the food will he finally get up from his bed and join you at his small dining table, made for two

He becomes a little more verbal, talking about his memories of fixing thing for the old man who he grown fond of, as if he was his own grandfather

He holds your hand across the table the whole time he’s talking

Just let him talk everything out and be there to support him in the way you do best

Eventually he’ll rise from his slump and be back to his usual self, but in the meantime he just needs you to be there for him

Simeon:

Technical: Your INTP and ENFJ pairing with SImeon is interesting because you both don’t fully understand each other, but that seems to be what attracts you both to each other. Your relationship his very romantic and full of surprises (the good kind). Communication is great as well, there may be things you don’t both agree with, but you easily adapt and get used to the way you both think. This leads to expanding your perspectives together. You are a Saggitarius and Simeon is an Aquarius, together you make an ideal pair. His love for humanity and community can be a beautiful contrast to Saggitarius’ who usually seek for truth and knowledge. Together you’re unstoppable and compliment each other beautifully. 

Personable: Again, Simeon is very loyal, of course and super kind. He would never lead you on and makes sure you know how he feels about you all the time. As the extrovert in the relationship, he probably approached you first and stated clearly that he liked you and wanted to be together with you, so nothing will change that. As someone who is very calm, Simeon would be great at keeping your emotions leveled. You’ll never get very angry at him, but if there is ever a moment where you are angry, he’d know how to calm you down quickly without making matters worse. He’s very passionate about his love for you, so he’s super touchy and affectionate with you at all times. However, if this does become overwhelming for you, he has no problem with respecting your boundaries, just let him know.

Simeon is very tall at like 6’3 I think (190.5cm?) so he would definitely loom over you unless you’re taller than that. As a writer, he’d probably come to you with his latest book (uh spoiler if you’re not up to the part where they reveal that Simeon is the author of this series) for TSL. He respects your opinion so he would love to know how you feel about the direction the series is going in. AND he'd love to read any of your own writing as well if you'd like to share it with him. I see him wanting to be tech-y and play video games with you, even though he’s horrible at using technology and can’t text to save his life, but he’ll try for you! 

Loves your cat a lot! Even though he’s not part of the cat squad like Solomon, Satan, or Barbatos, he definitely loves all creatures. Therefore, he would enjoy going to aquariums as well and will travel to the human world so he can go to one with you. He understands you commitment issues and he’s fine with that. He’ll take your relationship as slowly as possible, and if you ever have any insecurities, he wipes those all away with his words and actions of love. He wants you to know that he’ll never make you uncomfortable or betray you. He’s all yours and you’re the only one he’ll ever want. He learns to read your body language so he can become an expert at all things about you, including your ‘hard to read’ demeanor. In no time he’ll be able to tell what you’re thinking by the smallest of actions or words. Most attentive boyfriend ever, 10/10 great relationship full of respect and love.

Comforting Simeon

I think Simeon is more open about his emotions, so when the cafe he tried to open up in the human world wasn’t going so well, he went straight to you about it

After all, he respects you so much and he’ll take any advice you give him to heart

He’s very broken, since he wanted to make a life for himself in the human world so he could be around you more often, but things were not going as planned

He wasn’t getting any customers, and in no time he’d have to close his business (ofc he’s against using any angel charm to try and get new customers. He wants an honest business, as an honest man)

I can’t imagine him being sad for long though, he’s very positive and happy all of the time, and deals with issues like these fairly well because he can see the bright side of things

So there isn’t much comforting you need to do

All he needs to know is that you believe in him and know that his business will be a success one day

And boom, he’s feeling more hopeful already

He probably invites you over to his cafe and asks for your help in decorating or any other ideas that you think might help him gain business

The only time I see him ever really going full dark angel mode is if anyone ever hurt you or if you passed away

I don’t know how he would react, but I know it wouldn’t be so easy to resolve as his cafe issues

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 9/25/2022

[unfilteredgrounds]

Heartstopper

I really love Heartstopper. I like it because it's kind, and because it's exactly the kind of book I should have read in high school. Not only that, I just really like Charlie Spring. He's very similar to me, in ways that make me feel nice about myself, and in ways that make me hate myself more.

Charlie and I are both very anxious, we both have a lot of love to give, and we both struggle with parents and secrets and being very extremely lonely. And we both have a Nick. Though I'm much older than Charlie (well, old enough to roll my eyes and fondly reminisce about being a teenager), I have about as much experience with relationships as he does. Which is to say that I second guess myself with everything, and I make myself sick with worry that one day my Nick will realize he can do so much better than me, and leave.

That wasn't very kind of me. I love my partner so much, and one of my biggest fears in life is him leaving, because he is such a wonderful person, and I don't think I want to be in a world where he isn't. I don't mean that in like a weird, obsessive way, just a factual way. My Nick is the kind of person that really does leave a place better than he found it, and I don't know what I would do without him.

He probably wouldn't like me comparing him to Nick, as he's not the biggest fan of the series. He says it's a little too joyful, and that it's hard for him to relate to the high schoolers. That's fair. Though, reading through and knowing how he feels, I wonder if he thinks Nick is lame for how much he's open about loving Charlie. I wonder if he feels like that about me.

I hate talking about the doubt I have in myself when it comes to my relationship because it sounds like I don't trust my partner to be honest with me, or trust what he says to me. I do. It's nothing to do with him, and everything to do with the fact that I find it hard to believe that I am loveable. It's not a diss at myself. It's a fact; I personally don't see what he does in me, and I worry a lot about him seeing what I do see in myself, which is not relationship-material.

But that's not fair. He's seen everything: my panic attacks, the aftermath of Mom attacks, my jealousy, my insecurity, and he's still here. I haven't told him everything that contributes to the way I am, not about the constant rejection I received from pretty much every real life crush I had growing up, and definitely nothing about middle school. I don't really talk about middle school with anyone. Maybe that's why I am the way that I am.

I love my Nick like I love walking through a forest-- with him, I feel so quiet. Not literally-- I talk a lot with him, but inside. I just calm down when I'm around him, and he makes me feel like I'm special. I haven't felt genuinely important to someone else in a very long time. And he's definitely one of the first people in a long time who thinks I'm special for ME, not anything I can give, which is as freeing as it is terrifying.

There are a number of times in the Heartstopper series where Charlie wonders if he's weird because of how much he likes Nick, or how he sometimes feels like he's being swallowed up by giant waves and is just a burden to everyone. I get it. And I think we both (Saying this knowing full well he is not real) know that that isn't true, that we aren't burdens and people care about us, but knowing that doesn't get rid of the feeling. It doesn't silence the mean, nasty version of myself who hisses at me that I talk too much, I'm too skinny, and no one would ever actually want to spend the rest of their life with me.

But Heartstopper gives me hope. If Nick really does love Charlie, despite all of his flaws and self-loathing, then maybe my Nick is right, and it really is okay that I am the way that I am. I want nothing more than to really believe that, and get that nasty side of me to be quiet.

[dandelyle]

this trip might be the legit best thing to ever happen to me in my whole entire life and i say that without a shred of exaggeration or irony.

before: hopelessly depressed, lost, and alone

after: a passion for life hitherto undiscovered

like i wasnt actively suicidal before I left. ever since [redacted] i haven't been able to deal with such thoughts without [redacted] BUT i was terribly depressed and alone. and the worst part was I had no idea how bad off i really was. like i knew it was bad, but i didn't have a clue.

everything is different now. nothing will ever be the same again. and that's exactly what I needed.

i actually have a reason to live now whereas before i just didn't have a reason to not live. i have passion in my life that i don't think I've ever felt before. there's somewhere i fucking belong. i will fight like hell for that because it's literally the only thing that matters.

I'm not saying this to be cheeky or edgy or whatever but I've really been through a lot and i honestly wasn't sure if things could ever get better. like i didn't think a better place really existed. it's hard to see outside your circle when that circle is all you know. but once you expand your horizons, you can see that truly anything is possible. that sounds like a cliche but it's really true and i don't know how else to say it.

i did it. i flew 5,000 miles away from home to a country where i have only studied the language in books and i survived. more than that, bitch i fucking thrived. i have real actual living friends. that's unreal to me. i can't believe it honestly. there's people out there who want to spend time with me. we spent every day together for three weeks and didn't get sick of each other. it's been so long since I last felt that, that i can't even remember how long it's been. at least five years if not more. five years alone is fucking awful and i wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. there's something to be said there about prison but that's a whole nother can of worms

back to my point. i have friends now and i have photographic proof of it too.

I've fallen in love. like not with a person, but with a place, a culture, and way of life. when i get there, when i stay, i think i can fall in love with life itself. y'all don't live in my head so i can't explain to you how wild that possibility is. but yes, it is a possibility now.

i feel like I'm a pilot in an airplane driving through fog. I know I'm going to fly somewhere beautiful, but right now there is dense fog all around me and i can't see it yet, but i know it's there. I know it's there. until now, i haven't known it was there or where i was going. it was literally just fog and turbulence and i genuinely believed that's all that existed in the world.

i have been searching for this sense of belonging all my life. most people feel it at home, but i never did. it drove me to do some crazy things and to take risks that most people wouldn't take. for example flying alone to spend time with some internet friends. and this isn't even the first time I've done that.

folks, i hope you all get to feel this sensation. and if you've never felt like you don't belong, then i hope you appreciate that and never take it for granted.

if there's someone in your life who makes you feel wanted, appreciated, and seen, you got to be loyal to them because that's truly the only thing that matters. i know I'll never forget the people who made me feel that way. and if you're reading this, you know who you are