#(i still like it regardless but i might have to write so much ff to make up for it)

[righteousenjoymentofthunder]

OOOH... i kind of didnt believe you guys when you were like 'mcd has so many plot holes' because i didnt remember them (read: i didnt have a frontal lobe) but like.... the plot holes man.

like exhibit a of what im currently up to: how the hell does garroth stay alive for the span of MULTIPLE EPISODES (tended to a doctor or not- the doctor cant fully heal him, its the whole plot point for aph in brightport) but brenden needed the herbs RIGHT AWAY or else he would literally die.

please.... someone help me..... the series i liked as a kid has obvious flaws....

[thewebcomicsreview]

Happy 10/25, the third most important religious holiday in the Homestuck Calender, and we got a new HS2 to celebrate, focusing on one of the new kids. The new kids were one of the parts of Homestuck 2 I actually liked, so let's see how the new writers handle them! With a Jailbreak reference, apparently.

Wait, hold on, deep lore: thespiansGlamor is Harry, glutinousGymnast is Tavros. RecidicivousGainsayer and gavageCunctation are names we haven't seen before. GC fits into the AGTC DNA theme of all the screen names we've seen so far (it's Terezi's acronym), and RG doesn't. They might be random NPCs, but they might also be foreshadowing. Also, neither Rose nor Kanaya appear to be on their daughter's friendlist, unless they're under the scroll bar, but maybe that's not weird.

What, uh, what did she draw the key with, HS2? That's her blood color, but she's not bleeding.

Also, who's narrating this? This has been a question in HS2 all along, but the narration here calls attention to itself more. It's much more "Homestucky" than HS2's had been.

We even have narration describing conversation, which is something HS2 has never done and HS1 restricted to carapacians.

You suggest to Vriska that you should go the other direction. Vriska says nah this is definitely where we wanna be. She says between the two of you, you've probably got enough luck to take this whole place off the map if you really wanted. You ask her what the fuck she means by that. She says you know like with your Thief of Light powers. You tell her you don't have anything like that. She says huh, weird!

Oh FFS now I have to go look up if post-Retcon Vriska met Aranea, her own dancestor who was not a Thief of Light. That's such a weird thing for Vriska to assume, that Vrissy not only has Vriska's powers but has mastered them. Also, I wonder if this narration style, besides being a Jailbreak reference, is because the new writers aren't confident writing the HS2 characters yet? Or maybe they just don't want Vriska/Vrissy dialogues because they're kind of hard to read.

I like these expressions. I also like this continuation of Candy Lore, that all the HS1 characters see Candyland as a "fake" universe and that's part of why they fucked around so much and got so fucking weird, whereas we see here that the actual Candy Natives do not see their planet as "bootleg". The fact that the HS parents don't think of their own children as entirely "real" is actually super fucked up, but I guess Yiffy's got the main right of complaint there.

I like that Vriska, who can fly, still makes Vrissy give her a boost. What a jerk!

Vriska says now THAT sounds like some shit a REAL Vriska would say! You roll your eyes and start to leave when Vriska calls out to ask if you're going without wishing her good luck. As you start to wish her luck she cuts you off and tells you to keep it, as she already has aaaaaaaall the luck she needs. You say okay dude.

I don't know if the original HS2 writers intended for the resolution of the "Vrissy kind of idolizes Vriska" subplot to end with "Vriska's so fucking Vriska that Vrissy is disillusioned within literally minutes", but it's honestly kind of funny and I like it.

JANE: From the conversation recovered from Egbert's phone, we've learned that Roxy has been... conspiring alongside the rebels for months now. Operating a lab deep within the ruins of the Troll Memorial Meteor, she and her coconspirator Calliope are preparing some kind of super weapon they've dubbed "The Plot Point". JANE: Heretofore referred to as The Point.

This feels a little like shade.

JANE: Let’s get to The Point!!

A lot like shade.

It's a little convenient to the new team that they took over right when HS2 was starting to actually go somewhere, but regardless, that was a neat page. I got a soft laugh out of it, the plot is starting to move, and there was some decent worldbuilding.

[disasterbijamietartt]

I did get up at 2:45 to watch the episode when it dropped at 3, clearly am still sleep deprived, so this aren't my most coherent thoughts, but I need to get this out of my system so that I have a chance to function at work today lol

Some general thoughts before I look at my boy aka Jamie lol

In general I liked how they handled Colin's and Isaac's story arc. But I had hoped for some acknowledgment of the casual homophobia in 3x3, like … why include it if Isaac doesn’t show any accountability for maybe making the locker room a place that doesn’t feel 100% safe? (but, well, apparently Jamie is the only one who has to show accountability for anything, even if it is not his fault) Aside of this I loved how Isaac fought for him, how he struggled with his anger and how they reconciled at the end. The last scene was definitely the best for me.

Regarding Roy I’m like … that kinda resolved too easily? Like, Rebecca yells at him once and he finally gets his head out of his not-hairy-ass? It just feels kinda undeserved since he had so little development before and none of it seemed to stick for more than one episode. But I liked his conversation with Isaac and the press conference at the end (But unless Roy thinks next episode about what he wants out of life and the answer is “a boyfriend” I do not want it anyway.🤡)

Very sad Rupert didn’t choke on the stolen baklava. Jade seeing right through him? Good for her! Nate making the right call in the end? Bless him!

So, onto Jamie …

There was way too little of him in this episode, but his little back and forth with Sam about who should be Captain was so cute! And how he was supportive of Colin.

But I’m not sure what to think about the “I’m flattered” line—I’m happy for everyone who it landed for and who loved it, but for me the jury’s still out.

On the one hand it shows growth for Jamie—since regardless of his sexuality, I’m convinced his “dad” called him gay or the f-slur or other insults in that vein a copious amount (which I think is the reason he was “it’s just poopeh”, since he is so used to being insulted like that, that he learned to ignore it), so that season 1 Jamie probably would have exploded if someone had insinuated the could be gay. But now he is comfortable enough in his sexuality and self, that it doesn’t bother him and he can joke about it.

On the other hand, it is neither a yes or no, and if it is not addressed in the next episodes, and left ambiguious, I’ll be so pissed at this cheep queerbaiting.

I still have some tiny sliver of hope something might happen in the next episodes to confirm he is bisexual, but I’m somehow less confident now than I was before this episode and hope is wearing thin, since I’ve just been burnt too often by actors joking about ships, and queer readings of characters being acknowledged on a show with something ambiguous, that in the end turns out to be never been more than queerbaiting jokes (and that part just read so much like it could have been no more than a nod at the fandom and a joke …).

I hope that Ted Lasso is better than that, it’s 2023 ffs, but with only three episodes to go and so much to resolve … (I’ll have to go back to writing fanfics, since I won’t get the epic stuff I wanted since there just isn’t enough time left…)

[blublublujk]

love always wins (2)

-> chapter 1, chapter 2

words count: 6k

pairing: businesswoman y/n x businessman pjm ft. businessman kth

summary: you were given one simple task. how far are you willing to go for it?

warnings: in this chapter we do get a look at the relationship between oc and her father and just to warn you he's a piece of shit, it's a bit angsty (mental abuse), adult content, swearing/harsh language!!! (oops), alcohol, jimin can be a bit mean and maybe intimidating at first look (it's okay it will change quickly), sexual content (unprotected sex, fm. riding m., creampie)

a.n: this took so so long to get out as usual lmfao, i apologize for being so inconsistent but creating a whole new dialogue is so strange (i miss dilfy jk >.<) just to clarify a few things before the read, this ff will not end in a love triangle so do with that as you will. i know it will seem the oc & taehyung are hitting it off very well but this is a jimin x reader ff so it will get there i promise! im not a fan of writing love triangles but maybe some day… im so obsessed with these characters so far im excited ^.^ anyways, i wanted to get this out quickly since i have a concert to attend tmr and i cant believe i'll be thinking of other men who arent bts lol (wish me luck), feedback is always welcomed <333

—> m.list

--

Just one more year. 

Your father promised just one more year. 

One more year of standing tall by his side, only known as his golden child. One more year of the long– boring, mandatory parties. One more year of this false father-daughter relationship. Just one more eventful year. 

Your father had declared his retirement only last year.

It was New Year’s Eve. 

“Everyone let us please gather around quickly! Please take your seats! ” Nobody in the room really paid your father much attention at the time. Dinner had just been brought out, the room was a chattery mess. Everyone feigning for some nice warm bread to accompany their warm mashed potatoes. You had just stuffed down a roll of the sweet bread yourself, your cheeks puffing the loaf down. It was the only thing you could do during boring times like these. “Quiet down please! This won’t take much of your time!”

Doing as he asked, you chugged a glass of champagne before serving yourself another round then took your seat across him. People too, gathered pretty quickly after you, hot plates decorating the table.

Clearing his throat he started, “Well, you all might be wondering why you are here besides the obvious matters. The new year is approaching. There is so much to look forward to and so much more to expect. New years are filled with new opportunities, new advances, and most importantly, new beginnings.” 

Your father takes a deep breath before he continues, “As many of you may know, I’ve been the backbone of SSM for many, many years. Too much to count. And I wouldn’t have it any other way, really. I’m very grateful our family was built off this very same company. We’ve had a long, long journey and it only keeps progressing. SSM will thrive forever.” 

Cheers filled the room, while you downed another glass. The champagne tasted fucking delicious tonight.

Between smiles your father continued, “Quiet down please! Thank you, thank you! Now, with careful consideration and thoughtful planning, I’d like to announce a big change happening to SSM this new year. This news may shock some, but SSM will move forth regardless.” 

The room stilled for a second anticipating the long awaited news. Whatever he had to say, it was dragging on for too long, you were so bored. Another glass of champagne was placed upon the dinner table, you picked it up with no shame. 

“I have decided to retire from my terms with SSM within the new year.”

Shit.

No fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“But with that being said, there isn’t any better fit for this position. With great honor, I would love to present to you your new CEO and the amazing woman I get to call my daughter, Y/N Y/L/N.” 

The once blaringly loud room fell dead silent to your ears, though everyone jumped in excitement. But it was so quiet, so much that all you could hear was a buzzing ring, tinglingly inside your ears. The glass of champagne you once held came crashing down quite quickly.

You weren’t even given a chance to process anything. Those around you took turns embracing you, congratulating you on the great news. How fucking pathetic. Your fathers speech kept going but you weren’t listening, not after something like that. You fucking hated this moment more than anything. Out of everything he could have pulled from his ass, this— this was the worst. 

You had mentioned several times that you weren’t ready for such a position and never would be. Frankly, it's a position you thought would never open, one you would never possess on your own behalf. Your father was very adamant about being the greatest, most successful CEO. But of course, he wouldn’t just leave this position to a nobody. You just didn’t expect it to be you. You could barely take care of yourself, how were you to take care of a whole fucking establishment? Much less lead others. You were done for. 

He could have warned you. 

He could have and didn’t. 

“Congratulations, dear! You’ll do just wonderful!” Some older lady you didn’t even know by name, cheered, pulling you into her slim arms.

You couldn’t even force your arms to squeeze back, they kinda just hung around her loosely. “Thank you.” You whispered sadly. “I’ll try not to disappoint you all.”

That was the last you remembered of that night.

It’s how you ended up in these exact steps. 

Your last task so to speak, but really it was just the beginning. Park Jimin, he signs and you’re free. Well not technically…

In the words of your father, you understood very well what Park Jimin would do for SSM. 

Park Jimin didn’t need SSM. 

SSM needed Park Jimin. 

You hated to admit your father had been right all along. SSM was missing something. The company was missing new money, something your father nor you could have ever brung. Being born into wealth is always a privilege, but keeping it was worse than anything. Sure, other people have it worse, you will admit that. But those that lose money that once had nothing don't bat an eye at something they are used to experiencing. As harsh as it may sound, it's the way life worked for someone with wealth. 

Park Jimin only had a taste of that. It was your job to bring him down.

You’ve been over this plan many times in your head. Park Jimin is not the enemy, but he could be. Losing an asset like him could be the upbringing of another establishment and the downfall of yours. Nobody wants to lose at the hands of business, but if it’s you or someone else, that other person doesn’t stand a fucking chance. 

At first, you weren’t sure you could handle such a high position. But maybe your father was right, if not you, then who else? Business was your life. You weren’t good at anything else. It’s all you have ever known. And being quiet honest, you felt so fucking stupid for thinking that. But this was all a matter of confidence. You could get anywhere you wanted to. 

Eventually there would come a time where you then would retire from this position too, but right now, you did the best with what you had. Your father fully retiring from his seat would mean you were left to do as you please, as you had always wished. So Park Jimin’s signature was all it took. 

Collecting these businessmen like Pokémon cards was your job. And you were only the best at doing that. How you collected them was nobody’s business, right? 

Park Jimin was suddenly nowhere to be found. 

You searched everywhere. Quite honestly it made you panic, it wasn’t like this was the end of the world but maybe you were a bit desperate. 

Taking sad steps, you found yourself in the kitchen pouring yourself yet another glass of the sweet champagne. That’s when you finally caught sight of him. 

“And I’m sure you would do well in a company like ours.” The younger woman bat her eyes drastically, dragging her hand against Jimin’s arm. She gave his bicep a squeeze, his brow raising at the action, though he didn’t push her away.

You scoff silently from your place. What a fucking bitch. 

“Jimin!” You call the man's name as you reach the two.

He turns, immediately his eyes smile before his lips. “Y/N.” 

The familiar woman notices you too, but doesn’t say anything. Her mean gaze tells it all. She was not happy. 

“Yuna. Nice to see you around here.” You put your hand out. She looks down at your hand, hesitant to shake it. She does anyway but there is nothing nice about the greeting. “Thought your mother taught you not to speak to strangers, Yuna.”

Jimin chuckles quite intrigued, if he didn’t know any better he would be offended but he decides to stay quiet for now. 

Yuna retreats her hand harshly. “Jimin and I are everything but strangers.”

This is where you raise your eyebrows. “You and Jimin, huh? What is this supposed to mean?” 

A new voice cuts in. “It means one of two things. They either date or they fuck.”

You all turn to find Taehyung. Well this just got interesting. 

Jimin steps in before Yuna gets a word out. “Neither. We are family friends, you could say.”

You nod. 

“I will say, I’m quite shocked you are this invasive around someone you just met, Y/N. You had me fooled.” Jimin pouts, folding his arms across his chest. 

“My sincere apologies if I interrupted anything,’ You bow your head before continuing, ‘I was simply checking on our precious guest.” 

He nods understandingly. Taehyung’s eyes roll to the back of his head. He didn’t even know Jimin enough, but he was already starting to annoy him.

“No need to apologize. Yuna here meant no harm. She’s the sweetest.” He explains squeezing her shoulder. 

Yuna smiles in return. 

You hum. “Yeah, of course. The sweetest. Um, if you don’t mind, Taehyung? Make sure our sweet Yuna here makes it home safely. Her parents must be so worried. I wouldn’t want you to be late.”

Yuna’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes. Taehyung steps in. Yuna, having left with no choice, gives one last bow in Jimin’s direction. 

“It was nice to see you again Jimin, you know where to find me when you decide on my proposition.” He bows back, smiling politely. 

“Of course, take care.” 

The two leave you and Jimin behind, the glass still in your hand, you take a sip of your drink. Suddenly, the sweet taste is bitter. 

“I’m so sorry about that.” You say. “She tends to get too excited. She’s so young, you understand right?”

Jimin purses his lips. “Yeah, of course. Who was that, by the way?” 

You finish your drink, placing the glass down. “Ah, that was Taehyung.” 

“I know that. I mean, is he your boyfriend?” Jimin is very forward when asking his question.

“No.” You say.

“What a shame.” He replies, you raise your brow in confusion. “He’s hot.” 

You mentally thank yourself for finishing your drink because you would have spit it out by now.

“Wait, you’re gay?” You try to sound casual, but you are sure your face gives it all away. Now how the fuck are you supposed to fuck him into signing a contract? Not that, that’s what you had planned… 

Jimin giggles. “No, no. But, you should have seen the look on your face! Would that have been a problem, Ms. Y/N?” 

“No, of course not.” You are quick to defend yourself. “I was just curious is all.”

“Good because I am bisexual.” Jimin simply replies, looking around the room.

Nodding you respond, “Nothing wrong with that. I like women too. Probably more than I like men.” 

Jimin raises his brow looking back at you. “Really?”

You only nod. 

“I didn’t see that in you.” Jimin shrugs. 

You scoff. “You don’t know the first thing about me then.” 

“I wasn’t trying to offend you.” He clarified. 

“Didn’t say I was.” You snap back.

He smiles. “Right. I like you.” 

“Then we are already starting on the right foot. Let me introduce myself now.” You insist before he cuts you off. 

“Y/N, Y/L/N…” Jimin clicks his tongue three times against the roof of his mouth, dragging his palm slowly across his suit, flattening the material. His eyes look down at the ground before they travel back to your face. “Age 23. Began your first start-up at the young age of 13. So young, passionate, filled with dreams only one could ever simply dream of reaching. The start-up did well. Not well enough for you to feel completely satisfied though. Trust me, been there— done that. The media accused your young, precious entreprenstic mind for that of your father. They compared you to him, so much they called your ideas, his. It was so hard on you. Eventually, Kihyun’s dearest daughter flew off to college. Medicine, her first choice, but then that didn't work out. You eventually walked right back into the hole where you started. You are what many young entrepreneurs wish they were. You’re smart, driven, and most of all you knew exactly what you wanted. You are quite the woman.” 

You scoff because Jimin read you like a book, except your life was a quick Google search. Nothing you hadn’t seen before. “Google taught you all that?”

Jimin smiles and tilts to the side. “Yeah actually. You’ve done it all. Believe me when I say, I am your biggest fan here.”

You can’t help but to laugh. What were you even worried about? He was already on your side. “You, a fan of me? I’m flattered.” 

You really weren’t, but this was all for show anyways. 

He steps closer towards you, for a minute he just seems to check you out, his eyes landing right on top of your breast, the same way he did earlier. “Too bad I have no interest. It was nice meeting you dear, take care.” He steps back and turns his back.

You snatch his suit pulling him back to face you. “What.” 

He looks down at you. Suddenly, you feel so small. 

“I’ve heard of what you like to do. And let me tell you one thing before I part.” His lips brush up against your ear before he whispers, “Let this be clear. I may be a man, but I would never allow myself to fall for a pretty woman for some quick business deal. When you have something to actually offer me, you know where to find me. In the meantime, take care. You had plenty of drinks tonight, I would call it a night if I was you. See you later.”

Jimin’s turns and leaves as promised. His brother fell behind him quickly. You are left in your own little world, speechless. You couldn’t even move. What the fuck was his problem?

What now?

——

“What do you mean Jimin didn’t seem interested?” Your father scoffs, he was as confused as you were. 

“You heard me. He simply stated he wasn’t interested.” You mumble.

“Did you even care to tell him about the shareholding bill? This would benefit him big time and he simply wasn’t interested? This isn’t a game, Y/N. I expected more from you.” Your fathers words are harsh. It wasn’t the end of the fucking world, you thought. You could get him to sign if he just gave you more time. At the end, this was to set you up for the long run. Who cares how long it takes? Your father’s position was close to being taken anyways. You could run this company with or without Jimin, you were so sure of it. 

“I didn’t have enough time for that father. You heard me explain this three times now. He just wasn’t interested.” You say, giving up.

Your father laughs dryly. “You think this is what being a leader means? Do you seriously think you can do well with this attitude you carry? The world doesn’t revolve around you, Y/N.” 

It’s laughable that he’s mentioning the world not revolving around you when he had the habit of always making everything that occurred to you, about him. Of course, when your father has nothing better to do, he loves to destroy the only thing you have left going for yourself. It’s what he was best at besides his career. 

“Just think about the situation you’re in for two minutes. You will never succeed with this attitude!” He repeats himself. “What was I thinking? Can you even handle it?”

He always makes you feel so useless. You didn’t even choose this for yourself. He did. He always did. 

“You know I would have never taken this position in the first place. I made that clear father.” You whisper, firmly trying to maintain your peace. “You know that—”

“You have no choice!!!” He shouts, throwing some paperwork off his desk, the papers landing all over his floors. You step back, startled. Your father wasn’t abusive in any way. He had never laid a single finger on you, ever, and you believed he never would but the man didn’t have to. His words hurt you deep enough. Sometimes you wondered if hitting you would hurt less. 

“You have no choice!!! How many times do I have to repeat myself?” The man sits, massaging his temples. “Please, just fix this attitude you have. It won’t get you anywhere.”

You nod, clenching your fists.

He then says, “You’re dismissed.” 

“You know mother was right about you.” You start, breathless. The room was starting to eat you alive, suffocating in your own thoughts. But it would drive you insane keeping this in. 

The distributed man looks up. “Please don't start this now.”

“She was! And you knew it! This— this shit is all you care about! Have you ever thought once of how this affected me? You never cared to ask me if I was fucking okay! You were never here for me! Never! Not once. I should have just escaped with her when I had the chance.” You choke into a sob, god you hated crying in front of him. You were gonna hate yourself later for doing so.

“You think it’s just affecting you! I was married to that woman! She’s not as innocent as you fucking think. She had a lot to fucking say about my job but what did she end up doing? She left with all our fucking savings! She never cared about you. Stop defending her and get that through your fucking head.” Your father whispered the last of his words, focusing back on some paperwork.

You feel a tear fall down your cheek, you desperately wipe it away. What was the point? He never listened. “Trust me, I know that very well. You know what, ‘s fine. I’ll just go.”

The man doesn’t bother looking back up. “Close the door behind you.” 

“Yup.” 

That night you force yourself to sleep in between tears. 

You don’t recall falling asleep until you woke up the next day with a throbbing headache and your phone ringing. 

“Hello.”

“Fuck, where you sleeping?” Taehyung asks after hearing your weak voice. 

“What do you think?”

“Sorry.” He whispers. 

“‘S fine. Did you need something?” You force yourself to get up from bed, brushing the ends of your hair with your fingers.

“How did it go yesterday?” He asks softly, he can only imagine not well if you overslept, you almost never did. 

You smile then dryly laugh. “Well, he wasn’t interested.” 

“No? And you're laughing about it?” Taehyung muses. You were quite glad about how close you and Taehyung had gotten. Even if you weren’t the best of friends, he always knew how to distract you. It’s probably what you needed most right now. 

“Should I cry about it then?” You tease. 

“God no. I was simply asking.” He sighs. “What happened?” 

You sigh too, laying your head back down. “Long story short, he told me he wasn’t interested. He knows about my reputation with men. Apparently, I’m not too secretive about it. I didn’t know it had gotten this bad. Anyways, he told me when I actually have something good to offer him, to find him. Then I told my father and well, you know how he is. He’s not happy with me right now, so that’s that.” 

Taehyung sighs into the phone again. “So what, you like to fuck? Is that a fucking sin?” 

“Taehyung, that doesn’t make me feel better. I don't think that helps any women. I feel like a fucking whore.” You groan against your sheets.

“Did he call you that?” He asks in a very serious tone. 

“God no. I would have had him escorted out instantly.” You assured him.

“Good, good. Then, so what. You fuck, you’re young. Live a little, who cares what Park Jimin thinks. Fuck what he thinks.” Taehyung tries to comfort you.

“Park Jimin thinks you’re hot.” You say. 

“Nevermind.” He takes it all back and for the first time in a long time you laugh loudly. 

“God you’re an idiot.” You say in between laughs. 

“Whatever. Breakfast today?” Taehyung offers and honestly it doesn’t sound half as bad. 

“Deal. You pay.” 

“Wouldn't have it any other way.” And he doesn’t miss a single beat.

——

“I just felt so stupid Taehyung! He always does this to me.” You moan into the ceiling, gripping onto his shoulders desperately as you bounced on his cock. 

After a very fulfilling breakfast, the date concluded with the activity you did best. Taehyung drove you home and well, the rest was common sense. He nearly devoured you alive when you offered him to come up to your bedroom. Thank God your father spent all his life tucked away in the office so he was nowhere to be found. This place was yours and Taehyung’s to make a mess of. 

“Fuck.” Taehyung muttered against your neck, pushing his member further into you, your walls squeezing him deliciously. You weren’t sure he was listening much to your rant but at least he was fucking you well. You can't even blame him, you wouldn’t be listening either. 

“God I hate him.” You whine, feeling the crown of his head hit your g-spot, driving you crazy. “I can’t stand him.”

Taehyung grunted pushing your ass down for a fuller effect. “So fucking leave.”

Your head falls against his bare chest trying to catch a breath. “I can’t fucking leave him, he’s my father.”

Was that stupid? Maybe. Maybe not. 

He was all you fucking had. If not him, who else? It was only a matter of time then Taehyung would leave too. It’s just the way life works for you. You couldn’t keep anyone to save your life. This was all pathetic. You were back on square one, feeling just as hopeless. 

Taehyung sighed, slowing his movements, forcing your chin up to face him. “Stop doing this to yourself. You’re just gonna prove him right. I can’t speak about your relationship with him because that’s personal to you and him but this shit— what you are doing is not good for you. You haven’t even shown half of what you are capable of to him. If you get stuck here, you will end up exactly as he imagined. You know you are so much more than this. Find Jimin and convince him to work with you. Give him something good. He’s a tough one but he can’t be impossible to break. You understand me?”

Your eyes roll back, laying your head back against his chest. “I know. I fucking know that Taehyung. You think if I didn’t that I would be here with you.”

“Yeah actually.” He replies nonchalantly.

You smack the side of his shoulder. “I needed to fuck my stress away. That’s why you are here. I’ll talk to Jimin again today, asshole.” 

Taehyung chuckles. “Ouch?” 

“Oh, shut up. You can handle way more.” You mumble and he nods. 

“You feeling better?” The hazel-eyed man tenderly swipes the hair out of your face. 

“Just fuck me.”

“Alright!” Taehyung breaks into a boxy smile and does just that. It didn’t take long for both of you to get back into action. The whole room smelled of your juices mixing together and you were loving every second of it. This wasn’t the best way to spend your mornings and had your father known you were up to no good instead of dealing with Jimin, he would’ve crucified you. It’s a good thing he is never around to witness it though. 

“Right there, Tae. Right there, oh fuck.” Your moans start to raise pitch by the minute, his dick driving into you freakishly well. “I’m gonna come.” 

Taehyung maintains his pace, and you gasp into his shoulder, he too was extremely close. “Let me feel you then. Come for me.” He whispered sweetly into your ear.

You both came down crashing fast. His white essence fills you to the brim. Maybe this was all a bit irresponsible but you hoped and prayed the birth control would come through every time. You didn’t do this with every fuck but Taehyung was just too good.

“Let’s clean up. I have to go find this loser.” You stand careful of the mess between your legs, rushing towards the washroom. “Thanks for the sex.”

Taehyung chuckles running his hand through his hair, you were so unbelievable.

——

“As I have stated three times before Ms. Y/L/N, if you have not scheduled a meeting with Mr. Park you are not allowed up to see him.” The stupid lady at the front desk repeated herself yet again. You were so frustrated by this point. How exactly were you supposed to speak to this man if he was impossible to reach?

“Listen Ms.,’ You pause to read her name tag, “Son, I’d have you know, I’m a great friend of Mr. Park. If he knew you were holding me back to get to him, he would be extremely displeased. So I ask again that you reconsider letting me up to speak with him or it won't end well with you, sweetheart. I can guarantee that.” 

She gives you a mean look, then sighs and picks up the phone. “One second.” 

You give her a false smile, hearing a low ring over the phone. 

“Mr. Park, I’m sorry to disturb you. There is a lady here begging to speak to you. She says you both are great friends.” She speaks uninterested. “Her name? Y/N. Y/N, Y/L/N.” 

You stand there, tapping your feet anxiously. This is all taking longer than it should. 

“Oh. Okay. I’m so sorry, Mr. Park. Yeah, okay I will. Thank you.” She clicks the line and looks back at you. “Mr. Park says he has no recollection of you so I’d suggest you cut the act and leave the property immediately.” 

Your mouth drops wide open, this is fucking unbelievable. 

“Ms. Son, he’s lying. He’s fucking lying! I promise I know him.” You desperately explain yourself.

“Ms. Y/L/N with all due respect, so do the twenty other crazed people who come searching for him. Please do not make me call security to escort you.” She whispers meanly. 

You hated her.

“You are ridiculous, Ms. Son. You and Mr. Park! If you were working for me, you would have been fired long ago!” Your petty tone dies down when you see the man you had been fucking searching for walk through the elevator doors. 

The lady immediately rises, bowing. “Mr. Park, I’m so sorry this crazy bitch distrubed your peace, I’ll have her escorted out this instant.”

You gasp. “Me, a crazy bitch? Bitch, I’ll end you!”

Before things could escalate any further, Jimin quickly wraps his arm against your waist pulling your backend flush against his front so you wouldn’t jump her bones. You look up at him, and you look very angry. It was cute, he thought.

He looks towards his employee. “Ms. Son, that won't be necessary. Ms. Y/L/N here is a very special guest of mine and she is always welcomed here. From now on, she should be treated with utmost respect, you understand?”

She looks horrified and you almost stick your tongue out at her. “Mr. Park, b-but you said you didn’t know her?” 

“I had to make sure with my own eyes that it was the person who I was imagining. Now, if you excuse me, I have to get some lunch. I’ll be back later.” The man releases your waist and walks out as if nothing occurred. 

Left in disbelief, you turn to the lady and whisper, “You are dead bitch.” Then you turn back around and quickly follow behind Jimin.

“Hey!” You yell coming close behind him. “What the fuck is your problem?”

The man looks to his side, you’re struggling catching up to his fast pace, he slows down a bit but it goes unnoticed by you. “Whatever do you mean?”

You roll your eyes, gripping his arm, forcing the man to halt in his steps. “You seriously can’t be this clueless.” You squeeze your eyes shut attempting to cool down, then sweetly look back up at him. “Mr. Park, please, let’s do this. I’ll pay for your lunch and you hear me out. I can assure you I have something that you will be interested in hearing.”

“I don’t know… let me think.” The man purses his lips, acting as if he was giving it much thought. “Okay deal. Follow me.” The man leaves you behind once again leading the way, you of course curse at yourself for wearing heels.

——

The food finally gets brought out and you thank the angels above. The man ordered basically everything on the menu but who cares at this point. You had him exactly where you wanted him. 

“Great, so as I was saying—”

The man cuts you off by stuffing your mouth with some freshly cut meat. 

“Eat first. Then talk after.” He says and then stuffs his own mouth with food, dragging the hot plate closer towards you. To your surprise, the taste is fucking delicious. 

Once you swallow you start again, “Mr. Park with all due respect, I didn’t come here to eat with you. All I ask is—”

The man doesn’t let you finish speaking much louder than you, mocking your tone. “Ms. Y/L/N with all due respect, I don’t listen well on an empty stomach. So please eat. We can discuss things later.”

You scoff quietly. “Fine. Only because I just realized how hungry I am.” 

The man smirks watching you finally shove the hot food down your throat. He feels satisfied, almost as if he’s the one enjoying the bite. He picks up his own utensils and joins you. 

After eating every last bite, you lay back against your seat, rubbing your satisfyingly stuffed tummy. 

The man smiles. “How was that?” 

“Honestly, not bad. I’m impressed.” You say casually. The people around you must have thought you hadn’t been fed in years. 

“Good. I’m glad.” He says, looking around the restaurant. 

You prop back up on your elbows. “So.” 

He shoves his hand against your mouth. “Please, you’re much prettier when you’re quiet.” 

Is he fucking serious right now? You peel his hand off. “Mr. Park! I did exactly what you asked of me. Can you please just listen to me?!” 

The man sighs, laying back against his seat, gesturing to you to continue. 

“Thank you.” You sadly mumble. “This won’t take long. I wanted to speak to you about what our company could offer you. I’m sure you must have heard my father is retiring his position soon—”

“And leaving it to you, so I heard. You sure you are ready for something like that?”

You stop to think quite surprised he even cares. “I’ll manage. Anyways, I really think you could do well for us. I’m not asking you to retire from your own doings, I’d never ask that of anyone. All I ask is that you help us out on certain projects. I’ve seen your work, you aren’t half as bad as I imagined.” You admit.

“Geez, thanks.” He chuckles. 

“Sorry.” You blurt. “I just mean, I could see you working with us. I mean this could benefit you big time. And it helps us along the process. Why work against each other when we could work together?”

He stops to think before he teases, “But working against you is so much funner.” 

God, he was gonna kill you.

You sweetly smile. “Right. Please Jimin, I beg you to hear me out. You would be making way more than you do now. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me and I don’t really care but I promise you, those things aren’t true. I never intended to harm anyone.” You plead.

Your eyes softened halfway through your speech. He has no idea why he feels bad for you, so he just agrees. 

“Fine.” He gives up. 

Your eyes nearly bulge out of your sockets. You couldn’t believe your ears. Was it that easy?

“But under one condition.” He breaks. “I don’t work under you ever, you understand? Don’t hide things from me either. If we will be working together, then treat me like such. I want to know when things go wrong and if you ever need help, tell me. The same way I don’t work for you, you don’t work for me. We are equals to each other regardless of how much more money you make. You understand me?” 

You just nod, not sure if you understand all the conditions because that was definitely more than one. 

“Okay. Then I believe we are done here.” He stands, tucking the hair that fell into his eyes, back. God, he was so attractive. 

You stand with him, following the man to the counter. 

“It’s on her.” He points at you with a taunting smile on his face then leaves the restaurant. 

You are quick to pay the surprisingly low bill. You expected so much more after all you both devoured. With a quick thanks, you storm outside to find the man that keeps slipping from your fingertips. 

Once you catch up to him, you fall short of breaths. “Geez, do you ever walk slowly?” 

“Nope.” He smiles, continuing his awfully fast pace. “I have places to be, lady.”

“Right, well how will I keep in contact with you? Shouldn’t we sign an agreement?” You say and the man abruptly stops in his steps. 

He turns to you and very firmly speaks, “Another condition, no contracts between us. If you don’t trust me, then simply don’t work with me. As for contacting me, if you need my number, show up to my office starting next week. I like early birds so please be on time.” 

You scoff, crossing your ams. “That’s pretty cheap coming from someone who was late to our first encounter.” 

He shrugs. “You want me right? You must work for me, darling. I don’t come easy.” 

“Fine. I’ll be there. I thought I wasn’t working for you, or “under” you?” You murmur. 

He could eat you alive, he thinks. You are just too cute. 

“You aren’t. You are simply coming for one thing next week. My number. Work will resume for us the next day. See you then.” He grabs your hand and delivers a soft peck before he’s off again. 

That man… he was just full of surprises. Maybe you liked surprises after all. 

——

[coinsofmcguffin]

So the Doctor Who episode...The Giggle.

I have been a long time watcher of Doctor Who since the reboot. I have equally loved and LOTHED the writing on this show. At one point during my reviewing days I got all the prominent Doctor Who reviewers on the internet for a giant crossover to discuss if Moffat should still write Doctor Who (spoilers- he shouldn't) and after a while I just stopped watching because it wasn't fun anymore.

That said I loved Tennant and Tate's run and when they were coming back I knew I had to watch. I watched The Giggle...and I'm right back to where I started when I decided to leave. Why? Gather round children and I will tell you.

FIRST- Neil, baby, honey, we can see you are having a blast but for God sake pick an accent and stick with it. I only know of the Toymaker in passing so I have no idea if his accent was just like that before but it was so distracting. It didn't sound German, it sounded like an American doing a German accent.

SECOND- The Doctor splitting in two...just like that? You really just pulled that out your arse didn't you Russell. "It's meant to be a myth" FFS that is some of the laziest writing I had seen this episode...until

THIRD- You really are just going to do the exact same thing with the Master again huh! Shot for shot!

FOURTH- The Toymaker could have been amazing but all we saw him do was juggle, sing Spice Girls, and play catch. What a wasted opportunity 😪

FIFTH- The Doctor "resting" huh, and still with his own Tardis. Nope, don't buy it. It is completely out of character not just for Tenant’s Doctor but all the incarnations. I hated Moffats run with Matt Smith but remember "The Cubes"? The Doctor has done this before and hated it.

SIXTH- So the WHOLE SHTICK of the Doctor is he can't be on Earth all the time which is why things can happen while he is gone. By keeping one Doctor here nothing catastrophic should happe. Sure you might still get monster of the week shenanigans but invasions or... for example, The Master coming back should really happen now he is staying put.

If I think about it more I am sure I will find more to rant about. That said though I absolutely LOVE Gatwa's interpretation and incarnation of the Doctor. He looks like it could be so much fun. But that's how they get you...the actors are amazing, the writing and show runners make me want to head to the nearest exit regardless if it out a window.

Also I choose to believe Wilfred is out their shoot moles and nothing you can say will change my mind 🥺

Ok rant over

[imikhailotakeyouian]

Gallavich Sentinel/Guide AU debate/poll :D

Hello, beautiful fandom!

I have recently discovered the Sentinel/Guide AU and being a mix between Soulbond and Omegaverse I was intrigued instantly, but there are only like 6 FF in AO3 c_c 

Long story short, this genre takes inspo from an “old” tv show called “The Sentinel” and the core tropes/characteristics are: -Sentinels: people with enhanced sense, they can see/hear/smell things that normal people can’t possibly fathom. The downside of this is that if they can’t control this power they can get lost, disassociate themselves and even go into a coma. -Guides: people who have the power to guide sentinels out of that deep state -there is an actual bond happening between a sentinel and a guide and depending on the writer a sentinel can have multiple guides regardless, or they can stick with only one as a pure soulbond/omegaverse -more details in the fanlore page

So I was thinking to a potential AU for our beloved Gallvich and the first step would be define who is the Sentinel and who is the Guide. My first instinct was Mickey as a Guide and Ian as Sentinel, mostly because Ian is almost always the Alpha and the top, while Mickey is pretty much always the Omega and the “expendable” one (not in my heart tho, baby). But then I thought that Ian’s bipolar might come in handy for a different purpose. Please check the 2 scenarios below:

1)Sentinel!Ian and Guide!Mickey where Ian’s bipolar makes him even more vulnerable to zoning out and falling into a coma and need a strong guide, Mickey

2)Sentinel!Mickey and Guide!Ian where Ian’s bipolar make him see like a weak and defective guide, but actually being Mickey’s guide is the thing that makes him control/manage his bipolar disorder better because of the bond and because by guiding Mickey he learns also to control himself better

What do you think? I would love to discuss and hear ideas about it :D (yeah, I am still off so I have plenty of time and YES I am already writing a FF at the moment but brain always looks at the future project as well XD)

Smoooches!

[pertinax--loculos]

(Not A) Weekly Update

Yeah, so, that idea didn’t work out. :/ Still! Here’s a brief rundown of where I’m at right now.

As is typical for, just, my life in general, I’ve gotten onto quite a good roll with writing and so of course uni goes back today. -.- As a result, odds are my time and inclination for writing is probably going to nosedive. :( However! I am going to try and keep it ticking away if I can. We’ll see how I go.

As far as actual projects, and what I achieved over the semester break:

Forgotten Fates Did not write the entire draft of this like I wanted. I’m honestly a little disappointed in myself for this, but them’s the breaks. Interestingly, I got up to a scene I’d quite been looking forward to writing and just stalled out big time. I’m not sure if I sort of intimidated myself about it or what. But on the upside, I have an almost scene-by-scene plan for the rest of the story, so with any luck I won’t forget any important plot points when I do get back to writing it (see below). Wordcount over the break: 66k

Random Thing Self-indulgent piece I played around with briefly, though likely won’t continue. Any idea of a plot is still entirely amorphous, though I did have fun writing it, so I’m counting it as a win regardless. Wordcount: 6k

New WIP (?) Tentatively calling this MTG, and it appears to be going the way of The Monstrosity, re: random scene idea turned into series of scenes turned into characters and whatnot turned into plot. I enjoy writing in this style and I’d really like to keep up the momentum. Utterly self-indulgent heavily-inspired/derivative kind of piece that last night whacked me over the head with a potential actual plot. The aim with this is going to be to get as much of it down as I can. Similarly to The Monstrosity, I’m not too concerned with connecting scenes etc and I’m continuing my experiment started with FF re: making my scenes shorter. Not thinking about beats or arcs or much except getting the scenes down that I want to get down and telling myself as much of the story as I possibly can. There’s a very good possibility I’ll somewhat intro this at some stage, and when I get to That Scene That I’m Very Looking Forward To (which is about a scene and a half away), if it comes out even half as good as I’m hoping I’m definitely gonna share it here. Wordcount: 16k

So that’s the summary! Ended up writing 88,000 words over the approximately six-week break, and even if all of them weren’t for the project I was hoping they’d be for, I’m still pretty happy with that. (It includes an entire week off as well as Quite A Few days where I went ehhhh I’ll do it tomorrow, so I don’t think it’s too bad.) Got a new project and I’m embracing the concept of WIP-hopping for the time being, mostly because I’m having so much fun.

Primary challenge for the foreseeable future: keeping up creative momentum whilst also studying full time. This is complicated by Potential Plans I have for next year, but we’ll just see how I go.

I hope everyone else is doing fantastically. :D Feel free to hit me up if you have something you wanna gush about! I’m definitely lurking around here all the time even if I’m not being particularly active. Might try to carve out some time to get to age-old tags etc next weekend. Life is mostly good. Can’t ask for much more than that. ^_^

[adecila]

Wtf was that comment?! You and Amy do amazingly with it. Also this person can't read much fanfic because so many post way more sporadically. I have a few that might update every 6 months on average but they're amazing!!! 1 I saw an update for today I had admittedly forgotten about but that was about a year from the last chapter. Still worth it. FTC is probably one that's been most recently updated fics that I follow, excluding new stories people have just posted or the very few authors who have written ahead and post weekly or biweekly (like I can only name one off the top of my head). Anyway it's brilliant and we'll love it whenever you do what you want to do :)

Thank you, I really appreciate this message ❤ And I know, I know because I read so many fics myself and follow multiple wips at once over 3 fandoms lmao . Fics are literally my drug of choice. And I know how it feels like waiting for months for an update, but I've never just demanded updates or expected fics to be instantly finished.

Please, one of my absolute favourite fics is updated like once a year 😭 Like, trust me. I know the pain. Yet all I've ever expressed was awe and gratitude for the updates we get, even once a year!

So us updating FTC 2 months ago isn't that fucking long ffs. (Especially if you take into account how much Amy has been writing on WMEB)

FTC is constantly on our minds. I don't think there's a week that goes by without us talking about it, adding to the outline, figuring out how we wanna do certain things, etc.

Generally speaking, each update for this fic takes a lot, regardless of how long it takes us to get to the first draft, the graphic edits still take time and both Amy and I are very rigours and do multiple read-throughs and edits and we tweak the chapter until we're both happy with it. And some weeks we can only work a few hours on it, and that mostly on weekends.

The saddest thing about today is that I've been working on chaoter 6 a lot this week and I was so excited about the progress, but that one comment fucked with my head so much I'm just beyond annoyed rn 🙃

But I'll try to push through and focus on the nice comments and messages such as yours. I hate how it can be a sea of nice people and still our brain focuses on that one negative thing smh 🥲

[knchins]

Symbiosis - Benimaru & Joker

Summary: Benimaru, Joker, and a former Sister learn how to work through their frustrations with their investigation into the Holy Sol Temple through the one thing they know best: sex.

Pairing: Benimaru Shinmon x Fem!Reader x Joker

Rating: E

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: pwp (I didn't even try this time lmao), spanking, vaginal sex, oral sex, dirty talk/degradation, some dob/sub themes, hair pulling, face fucking. I do not count this as dp but some people might. SPIT ROASTING.

Notes: So I wrote this for @tamcitrus and I hope she likes it! It’s like my most self indulgent piece to date probably lol. Idk how I managed to write this while being barely able to breathe but when the inspo strikes what can you do....First FF/ENS piece! I think they may be a bit OOC but...whatever I’m too sick to care.,

 “So will you join me, Sister?” The mysterious man asked as he puffed on a cigarette. You stared off at the nighttime skyline, at the temple in the very far eastern horizon. Was this something you really wanted to do? It would be dangerous, but you could sense the power coming from him. Not only that, he had already enlisted the help of the Captain of the 7th, Benimaru Shinmon. It wasn’t as if you’d be taking on the church all by yourself.  

 Your mind drifted as the King of Destruction peppered kisses down your bare throat. The mission with Joker hadn’t been entirely successful. In the end they were met with Captain Burns who handed you a journal that belonged to the wife of Raffles I. While it was true you did come up with some new theories about the White Clad, ultimately it felt like a dead end. Now you just had more questions than answers and it was incredibly frustrating.

 But you weren’t the only one frustrated. Your two new comrades had been too. Eventually you had found a way to relieve the tension that had built up over so many years of bullshit. Having been an orphan and raised as a Sister for the Holy Sol Temple, you had plenty of ill will harbored against the empire. You had long abandoned your title but that didn’t stop the two men from egging you on by calling you by it.

 Currently the former assassin was watching through a half-lidded eye as you sat in Benimaru’s lap, your back to his chest as he kissed along your neck and cupped both breasts in his hands. You were already stripped down to your underwear, both men clad in only pants and briefs. Joker tended to observe first before joining in, enjoying taking his time watching the view of Beni turn you on and work you over. Small trails of smoke rose from the lit white stick of tobacco that hung from his mouth.

 “You look so pretty like that, Sister.” He drawled, inhaling another wave of smoke that filtered out of his nose. “You like when he plays with your tits don’t you?”

 “Don’t call me that,” You protested weakly in a voice that came out as more of a moan than a grumble as Beni began to tweak your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. You began to wiggle in his lap, ass brushing against his stiffening cock in a way that had him biting down on your shoulder possessively.

 The cotton panties you had been wearing were soaked all the way through between your legs. This stupid little routine always had you mewling and crying before anyone even bothered touching your needy cunt. Beni enjoyed torturing you too much and Joker enjoyed watching him do it. You had known in the beginning being the only woman in the trio would put you at a disadvantage. You just didn’t know how much.

 “Waka, please.” You gasped as he bit down on your throat this time, sucking a bruise into the skin there. One of your hands moved to try and touch your clit for some form of relief, but he warned you by warming up his hands rapidly. It wasn’t enough to burn you but it was enough to let you know that he would if you didn’t play by his rules. “Asshole.” You hissed, pulling your hand back up to a safe distance. You reached behind him and grabbed a fistful of his hair, tugging it angrily.

 Beni quickly pushed you onto the tatami mat on the floor roughly, holding the back of your head in one hand, pressing your face against the material as he lifted your hips up with the other. He began to grind his erection against the wet fabric of your underwear, seething as he ripped down your underwear so that you were completely bare for the both of them.

 He took no time in slapping your ass in retaliation for pulling on his hair. “Impatient little slut.” He growled, causing you to clench with desire. The way his deep voice reverberated in the small room made you even wetter.

 Joker was laughing lightly at the scene. It was pretty typical for you to piss Beni off. And the cute little squeaks you let out as the captain spanked you was just even more delectable than your moans. He finally stood, dropping his pants and underwear at the same time as he knelt before you. Beni took his hand off the back of your head so you could lift up enough for Joker to grab you by the hair and pull you up onto your hands.

 He always had an affinity for fucking your warm wet mouth. Something about choking you on his dick felt better than either your pussy or ass. It was definitely his preferred hole, not that Benimaru minded. It was easier to punish you if he had total control of your lower half. You could hear Beni remove himself from the rest of his clothing as well.

 At the feeling of his blushed head pressing into your folds, you began to protest. “Beni, you have to-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence as Fifty-Two plunged his dick into your open mouth.

 “How many times do I have to tell you, Sister,” Benimaru spat out. “Only good girls get warm ups.” Then he pushed his impressively large cock into your small hole, filling you up and stretching you out with a familiar but still painful burn.

 Your cries were garbled by the dick in your mouth. Joker was still, watching the different emotions cross your face: panic, surprise, pain, pleasure. The last one had your jaw slackening for him drool rolling off your lower lip as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. Despite the initial discomfort, there was no greater pleasure in this life than the Captain’s cock being buried balls deep into your soaking pussy.

 “This is what you wanted, right little slut?” Beni asked, smacking you one last time as he slowly pulled out and rammed back in, forcing you to lurch forward and deep throat the man in front of you.

 You gagged, making Joker laugh at your expense. “I’m pretty sure that’s what she wanted.” He said, given your hair a gentle pull. You struggled to breathe, tears rolling from the corners of your eyes reflexively. You tried to back away from him to give yourself some sort of relief, walls clamping down tight on Benimaru behind you. He let out a small groan at the sensation, though he didn’t budge as you tried to push back on him.

 “If only the Sisters that raised you could see you now. Choking on the dick of Holy Sol Temple’s number one enemy. I bet you’d get off that too, wouldn’t you, Sister?” Joker asked as he pulled his hips back enough to allow you to breathe. You shot him a pitiful glare at the taunt, grabbing his bare thigh and digging your nails into it angrily. They always loved to tease you when you were in no position to defend yourself. It could be so annoying.

 The pain of your nails tearing at his skin was about on the same level as an insect bite. It was really insignificant to him, and therefore it didn’t cause him to correct his actions. He simply tightened his grip on your hair.

 Beni started to move in and out of you at a quick and relentless place. Though he had been kind enough to let you adjust to his size, he wasn’t a total monster. He only started doing with his regular rhythm when he started to feel you relax around him. The muffled moans spilled from your mouth as your eyes rolled back. Any time he fucked you from behind he was always able to hit that sweet stop with his cockhead, the one that had you weak in the legs and gripping him dear life.

 Both men highly enjoyed the sounds of you sputtering and crying for more, your words a garbled mess due to Joker’s length plowing into you at a matching speed. The first few times you three had indulged in one another, the rhythms were out of sync and almost awkward. But now, they had the routine down pat. They knew how the other one worked and could easily find the best way to compliment the other’s thrusts. This had Beni pushing in while Joker was pulling out and you stayed as still as you possibly could so that you wouldn’t impale yourself on either of them in a painful manner.

 It felt like the pinnacle of symbiosis. Everyone works together for their own gain but not at the expense of the other. In the end no one would be left out or at a loss. You’d have to remember to thank Joker later for gathering the three of you together.

 Beni let out a curse as he increased his pace, using one hand to push locks of sweaty hair from his eyes. Sometimes he was convinced that your body had been made for him. He fit inside of you like a hand in a perfectly tailored glove. The gentle squeeze of your kegels anytime he or Joker did something you found particularly pleasurable, whether it was tugging on your hair, slapping your ass, or degrading you with their words, just made him feel so damn good.

 Any time he was buried in you, regardless of which hole it was, he always became devoid of any rational thought. The sex consumed all of you, the tension releasing with the exertion of their hips. Infiltrating the temple, investigating Hajima, life had just become so stressful lately. This was the only time any of you could truly just let go.

 That familiar tight coil was winding itself up in your lower abdomen, the pressure building with every thrust as you took deep breaths through your nose. “Ahh, Sister,” Joker said through heavy breaths, “You better be a good girl and not swallow right away.”

 Of course you knew what he meant, the way his thrusts became a little less in sync with Beni’s and a little more arrhythmic as he chased after his orgasm. He was the first to come, filling your mouth and throat with warm white seed. He pulled away, still holding onto your hair as you stuck out your covered tongue to show him, the white liquid spilling onto the mat beneath you as you were pounded from behind. Your moans were no longer muffled and were loudly filling the small room. No doubt other members of squad seven could hear you, not that you card any more. Konro was probably just shaking his head at his captain’s antics.

 “Now swallow.” Joker instructed as he sat back on his heels. Your tongue retracted into your mouth and you swallowed every last drop that hadn’t fallen from your mouth. The blissed out look on your face was almost enough to make him hard again, your whimpers as you neared your peak, the needy look in your eyes. Nothing else mattered in this moment but the release.

 You came with another loud cry, collapsing onto your chest as your arms gave out beneath you. Benimaru worked you through it, his balls slapping against your clit had you shaking and sobbing at the overstimulation. A moment later he was filling you up with his own seed, gobs of it gushing out around the base of his cock and onto your folds.

 Joker moved to watch him pull out of you slowly so he could observe the gaping, leaky hole. He let out a low whistle at the sight. “Latom,” He said jokingly, folding his hands in prayer as Beni guided your hips down onto the ground.  Benimaru rolled his eyes at his partner in crime, making sure to soothe the bruise skin of your ass with his rough hands.

 “Get some rest, Sister.” Benimaru said solemnly as he got redressed. “Our investigation resumes tonight.”

 You let out a low groan at the reminder, having totally forgotten that you were going back to Hajima headquarters to try and gather more information. “Fine, just let me take a nap first.” You grumbled sleepily. You couldn’t see the soft smile on his face as he glanced at Joker who nodded back in a silent response.

 Benimaru maneuvered you to his futon with Joker’s help, covering you with a blanket so you could rest in peace. Then in a few hours it would be business as usual.

[uncloseted]

saying "people who identify as girls are girls" is not simple. at all. i mean ok i am a girl. why? because i identify as one. but why? there's nothing that unites all girls. which doesn't mean that all girls have to be exactly the same but they at least need to have ONE thing in common. i mean if people say yeah i like women, when i'm in the street i look at women not men. how do you know? how do you know who's a man and who's a woman and who's anything else? and even woke people look at someone

1and think "girl" then think, or maybe they're non binary! but they never say or maybe they're a man. never. a person who looks like me has two options: girl or one of the hundreds of non binary identities. but to be a man, I'd have to try harder. it's not enough to IDENTIFY AS. ffs I can't be the only one who sees this. and just to clarify, i sent the joke about Emily being transphobic and i sent the first two of the three asks that you answered together i forgot this. you seriously thinl that if you raise a baby completely gender neutral, like one of those "theybies" and you tell them a girl is someone who identifies as a girl a boy is anyone who identifies as a boy nb is someone who identifies as neither, that they will deep down, without taking into account any stereotypes or biological essentialism, know what gender they are? even if they end up saying I'm a girl/boy, it will be because they will be exposed to girls and boys and "choose" the one they relate most to, or even because they like how the word "girl" or "boy" sounds.

I think you're asking some really good questions here. You're raising a lot of very philosophically interesting questions about the metaphysics of gender (what does it mean to have a gender, what does it mean to be transgender, is gender a social construct or is it innate to humans, etc) and how gender, as a social construct, impacts our lives on a day to day basis. Better philosophers than I have struggled with these questions for decades, but I'll do my best not to get too into the weeds on their different theories in this post. Instead, I'll offer my thoughts on what gender is and then investigate how we interact with it on a practical level. This is likely to be a long post, so apologies in advance, but it's a complicated issue that touches everyone's lives and I want to be mindful of that while writing this. Also apologies that this is going to be a pretty binary post. I don't mean to exclude nonbinary identities from this conversation, but to illustrate the points I'm trying to make, I think it's easier to talk about binary identities first. Just know that I do think nonbinary identities are real, valid and worthy of recognition and respect. Lastly, I'm not attached to any of the views expressed in this post. They reflect my thinking at this moment in time, but that might change as I learn more about these topics. I apologize if any of the views presented here are inadvertently hurtful. That's not my intention at all, but I recognize that regardless of intention, some things can cause harm. My goal in this post is to explore some ideas, and I would love to hear other people's opinions on this topic or criticism of these ideas. The Metaphysics of Gender So, to start out with, what is gender? Why are you a girl? Why do you identify as a girl? Why does anyone, and what links those people who identify as "girls" together? Is identifying as a girl enough to be one? These are complicated questions, both philosophically and culturally, and they've become more visible as we've become more culturally aware of gender variances (recently in the West. Third genders have always existed, and do continue to exist, in many cultures around the world). In biology and philosophy, there's a concept called "homeostatic property clusters" (stay with me here, I promise I'm going somewhere with this). "Homeostatic property clusters" is basically just a fancy phrase for the idea that if a creature has enough of a certain set of characteristics, they can be defined as part of a larger category, even if they don't have all of the traits that creatures in that category might have. In the PhilosophyTube video "Social Constructs", Abigail offers the category "mammals" as an example of a "homeostatic property cluster". Mammals are creatures that have warm blood, produce milk, and birth live offspring. Humans are mammals based on these characteristics, and so are seals and giraffes. But platypuses are also mammals, even though they lay eggs instead of birthing live offspring. These three properties, having warm blood, producing milk, and birthing live offspring, tend to "cluster" together, but they don't have to all be present in order for the creature to be "a mammal"- in this case, two out of three is fine. I think gender is similar. It's a homeostatic property cluster that includes biological, psychological, and social traits. Not all of those traits must be present for a person to "be a girl" or "be a boy", but enough of them have to be present in order for the person to be considered as part of that category ("girl" or "boy"). That cluster of traits is what all "girls" have in common, even if those traits aren't exactly the same for each individual. So, then, in the context of gender, what are those traits? "Biopsychosocial traits" is all very good as an academic term, but what does it actually mean? Let's start with the biological traits, since I think they're what most people default to when talking about gender. Biological Sex and Gender One trait we might consider when talking about whether someone "is a

girl" is sex characteristics. Sex and gender are fundamentally separate concepts, but for many people, they're linked. Many cis people consider themselves cis because they were "born in the right body" or lack the desire to medically transition. They have a "subconscious sex" that matches their physical body. So I think this is a good place to start. We might ask the question, "does this person have primary or secondary sex characteristics associated with being "a girl"?" It feels like the answer should be obvious- do they have tits and fanny, or don't they? But in reality, "biological sex" itself is kind of a homeostatic property cluster. Female sex characteristics include XX chromosomes, ovaries, estrogen and gestagen, a vagina, uterus, and fallopain tubes, breasts, and a menstrual cycle. But there are people without some of these traits that are still "girls". For example, some girls don't have a menstrual cycle (due to menopause, hormonal birth control, low body weight, PCOS, etc), but they're still girls. Some girls don't have a uterus (for example, if they've had a hysterectomy), but they're still girls. Some girls never develop breasts, but they're still girls. Some girls are born with Swyer syndrome, where they have a uterus, fallopian tubes, a cervix and a vagina, but have XY sex chromosomes. They're still girls. Any one of those traits by themselves can't be enough to decide if a person "is a biological girl" or "isn't a biological girl", but if a person has enough traits in that cluster, then they can be considered part of the larger category "biological girl". That by itself is kind of a TERFy take, so I would offer that the biological trait in the cluster "girl" is "has a cluster of female sex characteristics, either naturally or artificially, or gender dysphoria resulting in a desire to acquire those sex characteristics." But that alone can't be enough to determine if someone is or isn't "a girl". If it was, it would exclude pre-medical transition trans boys, even pre-medical transition trans boys who are living their lives as boys. It's also a transmedicalist take- it would also exclude trans people who never medically transition. To me, that doesn't feel right. People shouldn't be considered "a girl" or "a boy" based on biological essentialism, the pain of gender dysphoria, or their access to medical transition. So there have to be other factors at play- other traits in the cluster. Gender as Identity On the other side of the spectrum, some people say that gender is identity. You are "a girl" or "a boy" because that's how you identify- it's how you see yourself. In this viewpoint, gender is something innate to a person, that they instinctively know about themselves. It's perhaps a "female soul" in a "male body". In your ask, you express some scepticism about this view, and I'm inclined to agree. If humans have souls, I'm inclined to think they're not gendered, since what constitutes gender varies so widely across cultures and time periods. But I do also think that "identifying as" is an important element of "being a girl". Identifying as a girl is a basic criteria for being a girl. No person who doesn't identify as a girl can be a girl. It's an innate property of "girlness", the same way that an innate property of triangles is that they have three sides. But I do agree with you that I'm not convinced it's enough to only "identify as". Other traits in the cluster have to be present, because without a physical or social transition (or at least, the desire for a physical or social transition, particularly in cases of people for whom it's not safe or possible for them to transition), a person's identification doesn't have much practical value. Gender as a Social Role If "identifying as" isn't enough, then perhaps an important part of the gender conversation is the social role that gender plays in our lives. A gender is put upon us when we're born, and people continue to expect us to fill our assigned gender role throughout our lives. Maybe what's important isn't our body

parts or our internal identity, but instead, the gender role society lets us adopt. Perhaps society has to let you adopt the gender role you identify as. Either you're perceived as a woman or you aren't, either you "pass" or you don't. Perhaps those expectations that others have of you are what defines your gender. Intuitively, this seems to be tapping into something that feels true, at least to me. "Identifying as" isn't enough because society has to acknowledge that we are who we say we are. As you say, perhaps we have to "try harder" to "be a girl" or "be a boy" than just "identifying as". But this, too, has its problems. What about trans people who can't or don't pass? Does their transness get revoked for not appearing like they're trying hard enough? And what constitutes "hard enough"? Is trying at all "hard enough", or is there a point at which you "become" your gender? How many people need to reach a consensus on your gender before that's who you "are"? Does it get revoked by one person who misgenders you? And what about people who are cis, but occasionally put into an opposite gender role because of the way they present themselves? It seems to me that relying on other people to confer gender onto us is at once too limiting and not limiting enough. Gender as Gender Expression Going off of the idea of gender as a social role, then maybe gender is how you physically express yourself to the world- how you look to others. Maybe if you choose to express yourself as a given gender (through hair, clothes, makeup, voice, etc.), that's the gender that you are (or a reflection of the gender that you are), because that's how society will gender you. But that seems insufficient as well, for a lot of the same reasons that gender as a social role does. There are people who express themselves in stereotypically "masculine" ways but who identify as girls and who are understood to be girls by those around them. Their "girlness" is not culturally taken away from them based on their gender expression (unless there's another trait within the cluster of "being a girl" that they appear to not have). A girl can wear a full face of makeup, a dress and high heels, or have a pixie cut, no makeup, and wear a flannel and Doc Martens, but that alone isn't enough to say that she's not "a girl". This is especially true now, where very few ways of presenting are viewed as inherently gendered. Dresses and skirts are no longer exclusively "a girl thing" and pants have long been gender neutral. And what constitutes "presenting as a girl" and "presenting as a boy" changes across culture, time, and based on other characteristics an individual has (like class, race, size, or level of ability). So gender expression doesn't seem sufficient by itself to determine gender identity. Gender as Behaviors and Actions (aka Gender Performativity) Okay, so gender isn't just gender expression. But what about gender as a set of behaviors, something that you do? Gender performativity is a theory presented by Judith Butler in 1990 (sorry, I know I promised I wouldn't namedrop philosophical theories, but this is important to the conversation). Butler says that gender is constructed through a set of "acts" that are in line with societal ideas of what it means to "be a girl" or "be a boy". This performance of gendered acts is ongoing, even when we're alone, and is out of our control. Butler believes that there's no such thing as a "non-stylized" act- that is to say, everything we do is an act, and there's no such thing as an act that is not perceived as being somewhere on the spectrum of masculinity and femininity (at least, not in the current world we live in). The way we stylize these acts have the possibility to change over time. So Judith Butler believes that we "do" gender rather than "being" gender- that a girl "does girlness" over time. Put another way, a girl does behaviors, actions, and expressions that are stylized as "girly", which is what makes her gender identity "girl". And this gender, "girl", is constantly being

produced as the girl produces more of those "girly" acts. Instead of having an innate gender or expressing our internal gender through the way that we present, Butler thinks our outward gendered acts create our inner gender identity. Those acts and the way we perform them are shaped from the minute that we're born, when we're thrown into a pre-existing gender category and taught that "people like us" do things "in this way". This theory offers an answer to the question we asked in the previous section about gender as presentation; someone who is dressed "masculine" can still be "a girl" because they're performing "girlness"- they're doing acts that are in line with what we think of as "a girl". Because Butler doesn't believe that you're born with an internal gender, her work is controversial in trans spaces and are sometimes thought of as being trans-exclusionary (although Butler herself is a trans advocate). But I think disagree. Presumably, a person could change the stylization of the acts they perform. A person who was performing "boy" can begin to instead perform "girl", although they did not grow up performing "girl". It may be difficult, as they haven't had the performance of "girl" thrust upon them their entire lives, and have not experienced the "oppression experiences of girlhood" that can shape the performance of "girl". But gender performance and gender socialization are a lifelong process, and so the more a person "does girlness", the more they will be perceived as "doing girlness", and the more they will be expected to "perform girlness." I think it becomes something of a feedback loop where performance feeds socialization and socialization feeds performance. What about the "theybies"? What would happen if you raise a baby completely gender neutral? What would happen if a baby wasn't thrown into a pre-existing gender category upon birth? Would they identify as a gender without taking stereotypes or biological essentialism into account? This is essentially a question about social constructs. If we raised a baby with the understanding that some people have male sex characteristics, some have female sex characteristics, and some people have a combination of both, but removed the social constructs we have around gender, would gender still exist to this child? What you've created here is a "Twin Earth" thought experiment- a hypothetical where there are two Earths that are identical in every way except for one. Our Earth has the social construct of Gender, but Twin Earth does not. Would our Theyby still have a gender if they lived on Twin Earth? I think no. They wouldn't have a context to understand the social systems that we've created around sex characteristics, and so they wouldn't be able to place themselves within those systems. They wouldn't understand why we've based our whole society around sex characteristics as opposed to something else. They would be able to identify that they have the sex characteristics associated with "boys" or "girls", but not what it means to "be a girl" or "be a boy". (If you want to dig further into this idea of Social Constructs, that PhilosophyTube video I linked above is a good place to start). They could learn, but it wouldn't be innate to them. We, however, don't live on Twin Earth. We live on Earth. And on Earth, we do have the social construct of gender. So even if you raise a child completely gender neutral, they still have a concept of what it is to "be a girl" or "be a boy". They might learn that "girls" have long hair, or wear dresses, or are nice and caring, or are emotional, or walk and talk a certain way, or wear pink, or whatever other social constructs we ascribe to the gender "girl". They might learn that "boys" have short hair, wear pants, are mischievous, are aggressive, or walk a different way, or wear blue, or whatever other social constructs we ascribe to the gender "boy". Kids who are raised gender neutral look at the physical characteristics of other kids, the gender expression of other kids, the performance of "girlness" or

"boyness" that other kids do, and compare them to the physical characteristics they have, the gender expression they like, the gender expression that's expected of them from others, the performance of gender that they gravitate towards, and the performance of gender expected of them from others, and they tend to pick the one that feels more like their category. Most kids start conceptualizing their gender identity around age 3 or 4, and that's true for kids who are raised gender-neutral as well. When they start spending more time out in the world, they notice that they're different from some kids and similar to others, and they learn the language to describe those differences. But all of this is kind of beside the point, because raising a child as a "theyby" doesn't ultimately have the goal of the child not having a gender or growing up to be agender or genderqueer. It has the goal of allowing children to develop their likes, dislikes, and views of themselves without the contribution of harmful gender stereotypes. And I think that's actually a really great goal- how many of us that were raised female were discouraged from pursuing certain interests (especially science and technology related interests) because those "aren't girl things"? Kids will be exposed to those harmful stereotypes eventually, but if a kid is raised until age 3 without them, they might be more resilient to them when those ideas are presented. And for kids who do end up being transgender, being raised without gender lets them know that they'll be accepted by their family no matter their identity. Okay, but give us some answers... what is gender? So, we've gone over a lot of things that gender isn't, or at least, a lot of things that can't exclusively constitute a gender. But where does that leave us? What does that make gender? I propose it's something like the following: There are lots of ways to have or experience a gender. In order to have a gender, a person must:

1. Identify as that gender and: 2. have a cluster of sex characteristics matching the biological sex associated with that gender, either naturally or artificially, or gender dysphoria resulting in a desire to acquire those sex characteristics AND/OR 3. socially inhabit that gender, through gender expression or gender performance, or have a desire to socially inhabit that gender

I think that covers pretty much every case I can think of. People who identify as a gender and have the sex characteristics matching that gender are cis people, regardless of their social presentation. People who identify as a gender and have gender dysphoria or who have medically transitioned are the gender they identify as. People who identify as a gender and socially inhabit that gender are also the gender they identify as, and so are people who identify as a gender and would like to socially inhabit that gender but can't due to financial constraints or safety concerns. They're just experiencing trans identity in a different way to medically transitioned people. Gender as a Social Construct Okay, so that's the metaphysics of gender, or at least, an approach to the metaphysics of gender. I want to make it clear that I'm not attached to this theory, and I don't necessarily think I'm right. This is just where I've landed in my thinking right now, and I'm open to hearing other people's opinions and criticisms. In any case, it's very abstract, very philosophical, but maybe not super practical for the other questions you're asking here, and definitely not simple. So why, in my original answer, was I making the claim that "people who identify as girls are girls" is simple, then? I was making that claim because the way we interact with other people isn't metaphysical. It's practical. And practically speaking, all you need to do is acknowledge a person the way they ask to be acknowledged. Does someone say they're a boy named Jack who uses he/him pronouns? Great, call him Jack and use he/him pronouns. Does someone say their name is Sarah and use she/her pronouns? Great, call her Sarah and use she/her pronouns. Does someone say their name is Alex and they use they/them pronouns? Great, call them Alex and use they/them pronouns. Does someone say their name is Cloud and they use ze/zir pronouns? Great, call them Cloud and use ze/zir pronouns. You don't have to understand their relationship with their gender or what their gender means at all. You can even think their gender is "cringe". But you do have to respect the way they view themselves, and acknowledge them how they want to be seen. Think about it this way- if you were at an event and someone had a nametag that said, "Hi! My name is Taylor", but when they introduced themselves, they said, "I know my nametag says Taylor, but actually I go by Riley," what would you do? You'd just... call them Riley, right? You don't need to know why they have the wrong nametag to respect that their nametag is wrong. You probably wouldn't insist on calling them Taylor because that's what the nametag says. You probably wouldn't even ask how they ended up with a nametag that was wrong. Trans people are people, and they deserve respect just like anyone else. That's why this is simple- all you have to do is listen and be respectful, even if you don't understand. Wrapping up, here's my question to you. What is it about trans people that makes you uncomfortable? Think about it honestly, and try not to default to, "it's political correctness run amok! People are offended if you breathe too loudly!" Does it feel like a challenge to your own identity, either your gender identity or your sexuality? Is it a discomfort with society changing? Is it a fear of getting something wrong and offending someone? The vast majority of trans people I've met just want to be acknowledged for who they are. They'll politely correct people who misgender them or accidentally say something transphobic. And the ones who are the most aggressive or militant are the ones who have been hurt the most by a system that won't acknowledge them for who they are. It's a plea to be seen in a world that denies them that visibility. Maybe it isn't trans people that need to become less sensitive, but us who need to become more accepting. Some resources that you might be interested in if you liked this post: The Aesthetic | ContraPoints Social Constructs | Philosophy Tube "Transtrenders" |

ContraPoints Gender Critical | ContraPoints Judith Butler's Theory of Gender Performativity, Explained

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Memories Part 2

Summary: After returning home from the hospital, Reader’s stitched up wound gets infected. Dean takes her to the hospital to get it all sorted out and then treats her to all her favorite foods and her favorite movie.

TW/CW: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader, post-surgery infection, worried Dean, fever, chills, pain, stab wound, nothing is really graphic aside from maybe Reader’s description of the pain.

Requested?: Yes, a lovely Anon said, “Hello, I completely adored your dean writings and I was wondering if I could request an angst + fluff one shot of dean x reader where she had a surgery and it went smoothly but when she gets back home at the bunker an infection developed, igniting a raging fever along with the pain. And dean gets all worried and protective and takes good care of her. And he's being so gentle 🥺🥺 also can u please include his pov if you can. Ps :Maybe they're already dating??”

Word Count: 1,024

A/N: So, I wrote Memories Part 1 on one Anon request and then got this one and thought they’d go well together. I hope you both don’t mind! This didn’t really get as scary as I had planned for it to tbh, sorry about that. Also, I’d like to note that I honestly have no idea if this is realistic in terms of the medical aspects. I did my best with some quick research. Anyway, I hope you like it! Requests are open and as always love to all! P.S. I’m sorry if this shit, I kept getting distracted while writing it and my brain didn’t want to cooperate.

[ffs how is he so pretty???]

Your POV

    I curl closer into Dean’s side and try my best to go back to sleep. I’m absolutely freezing and it feels like my stomach is getting ripped open again. I came home from the hospital several days ago after having surgery in which they sewed up a stab wound on my stomach. They said it should stop hurting by now but it feels like it’s hurting more than when I first woke up after surgery.

    I wrap the blanket tighter around me and my fidgeting wakes Dean up, “Hey baby, what’s wrong? Do you need something?”

    I huff, “I’m cold and my stomach is hurting.”

    “Sit up and let me look at it,” he responds as he turns on the lamp on the side table. I do as told and scoot to the edge of the bed. When he crouches down in front of me, I lift my shirt so he can remove the bandages and have a look. He tilts his head and looks up at me, “Babe, how are you cold? You’re burning up.”

    He gently removes the bandages and almost immediately seems to realize what’s wrong, “Shit, I think it’s getting infected.” He gets up and grabs supplies from the bathroom before returning to me. Gently he cleans the incision and wraps a fresh bandage over it, “I’m going to go get you some clothes and call the doctor to see what we need to do.”

    I look over at the clock that reads 07:00 and swear under my breath. Guilt gnaws at my insides; Dean hasn’t had a decent night of sleep since we got home and now, I’ve just worried him even more just when he was getting some good sleep. He returns from our closet and helps me into a loose black t-shirt and some jeans with his phone sandwiched between his ear and shoulder, “Alright, we’ll be right there. Thank you, Doc.”

    “I’m sorry,” I mumble as I button my jeans and he hangs up the phone.

    “Hey, woah. Sorry for what?” he asks in concern.

    “You haven’t hardly slept since we got back and now, I’m causing more trouble,” I mumble, looking at the floor.

    He lifts my chin so that I look at him, “Don’t do that. This isn’t your fault.”

    There’s a hint of something in his tone that I can’t place but I feel the need to assure him, “It’s not yours either.”

    He sighs, “Things like this happen. It’ll be okay,” but I can tell he doens’t quite believe what I said.

    A quick ride to the hospital, a short time in the waiting room, and some blood tests later and we’re sitting in another hospital room waiting for the doctor to come in. The door opens and the doctor steps in with her clipboard, “Alright (Y/N), let’s see what’s up.”

    I lift my shirt and she gently peels away the bandage. I force myself not to look at it otherwise I might panic. She presses the bandage back in place and stands up straight, “It looks like just a minor infection. The worst part of it will just be the fever and pain. I recommend you take some Tylenol or Advil to help with the fever and I’ll prescribe you a round of antibiotics. Other than that, just keep making sure to keep it clean and change the bandages regularly.” Dean and I both nod as she hands me a paper and leaves the room. On the way home we get the antibiotics filled and Dean runs in at a grocery store to pick up some soup and other comfort foods, including pie.

    I crawl into bed almost as soon as we get home and wrap a blanket tightly around me. Dean drops the groceries off in the kitchen before returning to my side with a glass of water, Tylenol, and my antibiotics. I take the medicine and down the glass of water before handing it back to him. He brushes my hair out of my face, “Lay down and get comfy. I’ll go make us some food and when I get back, I’ll put on a movie, alright?” I nod and shiver which prompts him to grab another blanket off the desk chair and place it over the other one. I watch him leave before laying down to curl up in a ball, thankfully the pain meds they gave me at hospital have kicked in and my stomach doesn’t hurt as much. Now it feels like a dull cramp.

Dean’s POV

    I make my way to the kitchen to heat up some of (Y/N)’s favorite comfort foods and some soup. I have to keep reminding myself that the infection isn’t my fault. It’s not like I could control it. Regardless, it still gnaws at me. I rack my brain trying to figure out what caused the infection but only manage to come up with nothing and annoy myself even more. When I’ve gotten everything together, I carry everything back to our bedroom and set it on the desk. (Y/N) watches me as I grab a few movies from the shelf under the tv and hold them out to her, “Pick one.” A single hand darts out from under the mound of blankets she had manage to collect while I was gone and points at (Your Favorite Movie). I turn back around to the tv and pop the dvd into the player.

    When I turn back around, she’s already snacking on the bag of cookies I brought in. I tug them away from her gently and hand her a bowl of warm soup instead, “Real food first, sweetheart.” She pouts a little but begins enjoying the soup all the same. Once we’ve eaten our soup, I grab all the other snacks and sweets from the desk and pile them around (Y/N). She grins as she notices all of her favorites and begins munching away. I press play on the movie and pull her into my side and kiss her forehead, “I love you, baby.”

    “I love you too, Dean,” she mumbles through a mouth full of cookies, “Thank you.”

Masterlist

Everything Taglist:

Dean Winchester Taglist: @akshi8278​

[nocompromise-noregrets]

1, 6 and 12. And for the making up my own question - is there a fic you’d love to see filmed (in this scenario we are assuming it’s totally possible that it can be etc)?

1. if you could hit any character without repercussions, who would it be? Ooooo. Nate Shelley needs a slap, or at least a good shake and a thorough talking-to. And I would like to give Thorin Oakenshield a slap for his utter disregard for the fate of the people of Lake-town after he woke the sodding dragon and sent it down upon their heads. 'I have the only right' yeah but consider the wider consequences before you go charging in there all full of your birthright, mate.

6. do you read fanfiction? If so, do you have any favorite authors or fics? I do, although not very much at the moment as I haven't the brainspace. @lemurious' works are beautiful and thought-provoking and often heartbreaking takes on the Silmarillion, @eldritchmage does some fantastic modern-day Bard/Thranduil omg, @writerman's Bard/Thranduil stuff is out of this world, @crushing83's Hobbit/Fast and Furious crossover (taking advantage of Luke Evans being in FF6) made me watch a FF movie, which is not my natural habitat, and I bloody love the story. @bigneonglitter's Ted Lasso stuff is effing amazing. Just a handful of people whose updates I will always click on regardless of brainspace there...

12. if you could change one ending to a book/show/game/etc, what would you change about it? ooooOOOOOOOO I would absolutely change the last episode of series 2 of the Alienist, which spent the whole two series building up John/Sara (Luke Evans' and Dakota Fanning's characters) and then wussed out at the last minute by having John's fiancee being 'in a delicate condition' aargh I was so cross I actually wrote a fix-it fic, which is something I'd never really done before in 20 years in fandom. I don't subscribe to the whole 'demonise the canon partner/spouse' thing, but they're so obviously wrong for each other and are going to make each other miserable (which seems to be the whole point and intention by the writers, just...what's wrong with letting both of them be happy, apart?), and if John and Sara only put in the work they'd be almost perfect together, and aaarghhh. So I shuffled the fiancee carefully and kindly off the scene (of her own volition, because she had realised that they were going to make each other miserable for the rest of their lives and decided she deserved better), and one of these days I'll write John going cap in hand to Sara and throwing himself upon her mercy. Thank fuck for fanfiction, basically.

bonus: is there a fic you’d love to see filmed? I would bloody love to see @eldritchmage's Season of Light and Shadow and her Pale Swan series filmed. And selfishly I would love to have a great long ridiculous TV series of my own My Heart Is An Empty Vessel-'verse, with the original cast from the films, plus Rosamund Pike as Thranduil's wife. I still haven't quite fantasy-cast Bard's wife but the lady who plays Rosie Cotton in LotR reminds me very much of her.

Thank you for asking! <333333 Anyone else want to ask me stuff about fandoms or ships? :D :D :D (there might be a delay in replying, I'm off out in a bit, back tomorrow sometime)

[simpsiren]

sticky notes: the story

mark lee x reader

introduction 

main masterlist

description. you use sticky notes to get into contact with your soulmate.

genre. soulmate au, high school au, strangers to lovers au

warnings. nonee

a/n. so some people requested for a full story of this so here it is! i really liked making this because the concept is just so cute cudndn oh and i did include the same idea as what i did in my previous post but i had to change it a little so that it would fit the plot. this is a really really long ff since its a slow burn typa thing so please try to stick with me on this one HAHA anyways enjoyy! :D

“you actually believe that?”

you lift your head up from your notes to look at soyoung. she nods her head and hum eagerly. you rub your temples from seeing her respond. “i do believe soulmates exist. but sticky notes to talk to them? what’s social media for then? and how is it even scientifically possible?” you question soyoung, bringing your eyes down as you continue to do your homework.

“that’s the beauty of soulmates, ray!” soyoung whines. you shake your head. “you’re dumb to believe it without confirming the information with other relevant sources.” you mutter out bluntly. you hear soyoung letting out a ‘tsk’. “here you go again being a history student. i swear im glad i never took it.” you scoff and slam your pen on the table gently.

“excuse me, woman! at least i dont have to memorise the whole textbook and only having 5 pages of content coming out in the exam.” you stick your tongue out playfully to tease soyoung. “i cant get over the fact that valcanos didn’t come out eventhough i memorised so much for it.”

the both of you laugh, knowing that the two of you can never stop debating on whether history or geography is the better subject.

“ray complete your homework at home. we cant stay in the classroom for long you know?” soyoung stands up to get to her seat, which is 2 rows down yours since you were sitting right at the back. you liked sitting at the back. it allowed you to always be able to use your phone in case you get bored in class. you still cant believe that your teachers think you’re a good and obedient student. you figured they only assumed that due to your high grades.

you sigh “that’s true.” you turn around to grab your back that was hanging in your chair and start packing your materials. once you were done, you grab the class key and walk over to soyoung’s seat, waiting for her to finish packing. you notice soyoung has finish packing and went to switch off the lights. you allow soyoung to step out first before you close the door behind you and lock the classroom door.

you and soyoung walked down the hallway silently, you were looking out the window to watch the sunset while soyoung had her eyes on her feet. only your footsteps could be heard as almost everyone has left the school grounds except for some teachers who were working late. the school normally closes at 7pm and you’re walking out at 6:50. to break the silence, soyoung opens her mouth to start a conversation.

“okay if you dont believe me why dont you try it yourself? like write a simple introduction to your soulmate.” you raise an eyebrow as you shove your hands into the front pockets of your mom jeans. “why dont you do it?” you fought back as you huff. soyoung bites the inside of her cheek as a moment of silence passes for her to think of an answer.

“because i believe it. and you do not. so you should try it.” you smacked soyoung’s arm, making her flinch back and shouting a loud ‘ouch’. you roll your eyes, knowing you didn’t hit her hard and she was just overreacting. “brilliant excuse,so. but if its going to make you stop talking about it, i might as well.” soyoung face lit up as she jumps happily and starts skipping ahead of you. you laugh and pull the handle at back of her bag to keep her explosion of excitement to the minimum.

“you owe me brown sugar milk tea. large.” you taunted. soyoung waves her hand lazily. “i’ll buy you one after school tomorrow. but you better update me during math.”

you wanted to say how you could just text soyoung to update her, but you remembered the fact that soyoung’s mother took away her phone since she didn’t do well for this year’s midterms. although to you, soyoung’s grades were decent. unfortunately for her, soyoung has to live up to her asian mom’s high expectations. the thought of this made you want to frown, but you showed a bright smile regardless as the two of you finally made it to the school gate, waving to each other and bidding farewell before walking down opposite paths.

once you arrived at home, you took out your phone from your back pocket. you saw a notification from your mother saying that your parents would be home late. you shrug your shoulders as you walk to your room. “as always.” you breathed out.

you did your normal routine of showering and eating leftover dinner that you needed to heat up at the couch while you completed one episode of the anime series you were so hooked on. you continue watching but with the amount of homework you have, you might finish them all by midnight if you dont slack.

you turned off the tv and washed your plate before heading into your room. as you close the door behind you, your eyes immediately went to your desk, which was pretty messed up since you had a test to study for yesterday that you completely weren’t prepared for and had to squeeze in as much information as you can. hence, the scattering of notes and textbooks.

you stroll over to your desk and sat down. you take out your homework from your back which was beside the desk. looking at the stack of homework, you groan in despair as shove it to the back of the desk till it hit the wall. “ah fuck it! im just going to ask kun for help.” you admitted your defeat depsite thinking you would be able to gain some energy from your dinner. you also thought about how you’ve done your homework in the morning plenty of time so i shouldnt be a problem unless kun doesn’t offer his help.

you jump to your bed and lay down, bringing your phone out and immediately start scrolling through instagram. as you swiped your finger up to look at the posts of the people you follow, you stop at one. a picture of a couple who met through the sticky note theory. or so they claim. your thumbs hover over the screen as your eyes look up to the ceiling, starting to remember what soyoung asked to do to get your bubble tea.

yoy tap your index finger on the side of your phone as you constantly started to think whether you should do it or not. you’ve heard the rumours. but are they even true? the more you thought about it, the more intriguing the idea got. but at the same time, you also thought of how stupid it sounded and was probably made to fool people.

after contemplating and having in a debate in your head that felt like forever, you finally place your phone down beside you and take a deep breath. “ill do it.” you groan to yourself, letting curiosity take over your other feelings.

you gather up your strength to stand up from your bed and walk over to your desk. you push all the papers and textbooks aside, grabbing a yellow sticky notepad from your stationery organiser. you had other colours too like pink and purple, but you figured that you should go with the classic.

pulling out a random pen that was laying in between the pages of one of your textbooks, you tilt your head to the side as you start thinking of what to write, unconsciously biting the end of your pen in the process.

you bite the side of your cheek and shrug, deciding to go with the plan of writing whatever that comes to your mind.

um hi? i dont even know if you’re going to see this. its funny, really. i heard a rumour that you can communicate with your soulmate through sticky notes. it’s probably just fake news and im writing to a nobody. that would honestly be embarrassing but it’ll be like love letters.. to myself(?) or my soulmate. write back? haha

you read over what you wrote an endless amount of times, thinking if you should make changes. you groan and immediately stick the sticky note onto your wall, giving up on giving second thoughts about what you call this ridiculousness.

you went about your night, forgetting you have left the sticky note on the wall. as you were on you bed scrolling through tumblr at 2 in the morning, you hear something. it sounded like a piece of paper had fallen from your desk.

unable to see in complete darkness, you turn on the flashlight from your phone and walk around your room, trying to find whatever it is that fell. it didn’t take you long to find a small yellow sticky note that you accidentally stepped on.

you pick it up, remembering that you wrote on the sticky note and thought that it was yours. however, once you were able to get a closer look, you noticed that the words on the sticky note have changed. so has the handwriting.

holy shit. i dont know what is this. but apparently a sticky note appeared on my wall saying i have a soulmate. my friends told me i should write back because of some rumour. so here i am trying. hi im mark. i dont know your name, but hope you’ll tell me once you recieve this. you’re in luck because apparently the rumour is true. im just as crepped out as you are.

you froze in your spot. your fingers shaking as you read the note again. you scratch your head. being too tired and unable to think straight at 2 in the morning, you place the sticky note on your desk and went back to bed to play with your phone. you soon forget about the fact that your soulmate has replied to your message that you have written on your sticky note.

as you got ready for the next period which was math, soyoung immediately runs over to you, dragging the chair from the desk beside you and taking a seat. you flinch a little when you suddenly see her close to you. 

“so did you try it?!” soyoung asks, her voice filled with enthusiasm . you brushed a few pieces of hair behind your ear, nodding your head as you take out your textbook from under the desk. “did you get a reply then?” 

your mind started to take you back to the mysterious encounter that you had last night. “mhm.” you reply simply. “though the only thing i remember because it seems to be the only relevant information is that the person’s name is mark.” soyoung gasped loudly, making you crease your forehead as you watch her overreacting again. 

“your soulmate’s name is mark then.” soyoung concludes, folding her arms confidently as if she made a great discovery. you laugh, rolling your eyes sarcastically. “isnt it obvious?” soyoung frowns fakely. 

your mouth gapes open as you hit soyoung’s arm lightly. “buy me my milk tea!” you demanded with a wide smile. soyoung places her notebook on your table and nods constantly. “i will you addict.” she groans. you happily say thank you as your teacher comes into the classroom and class began. 

“what are you going to do about it now though?” as you recieved the question from soyoung, you kept silent for a moment, giving time to think of an answer.

 “ill write something back? i dont know.. ill have to read the letter again when i get back home.” you whispe to soyoung. she nods in reply as the two of you payed your attention to the front again. it surprised you that soyoung was paying attention but you only assumed that she wanted to do better in class and shrug your shouders, writing down the notes youve missed while talking to soyoung.

as for you, your concentration in class dipped slightly because now, the thing that is occupying your head the most is the thought that the sticky notes theory might actually be real and you cant say its not possible anymore, making you even more shocked than you did last night.

lucky for you, today is the only day of the week where your class ends the earliest, along with two other lower ranked classes. you and soyoung quickly pack up to go to the mall to get your reward. after soyoung buys you your drink, you and soyoung went your separate ways.

after about 30 minutes of taking the bus and walking, you finally arrived at home. you place your drink on the living room table and proceed to place your bag in the room and head for the showers.

once you were done showering, you walk out of the bathroom to head to your room while drying your hair with a small towel. opening the door, you enter and went straight to your clothing rack. just when you were about to grab a shirt from the hanger, you heard the same noise last night. another piece of paper has fallen on the floor.

you turn your head and look down. this time, you found another sticky note right in front of your feet. the colour of the sticky note changed from yellow to a light blue. you tilt your head as you pick up the stick note from the floor, finding it odd as you wonder how the colour of the sticky note changed.

you take a deep breath before reading it, noticing that the handwriting was similar to the one you read last night. a little messier, but still readable.

hi again.. im not sure if you’ll recieve this since its the afternoon and i know people are busy with work or school. i skipped school today so haha. um i just wanted to write to you, despite me not knowing a single thing about you. its odd really. its like i feel the need to write something to an unknown identity that people assume to be my soulmate. i still dont know your name, so i hope youll reply soon. take your time and take care :)

- mark

“skip school? what is he, a bad boy?” you scoff to yourself. you try to take in whatever’s on the note, but another thought comes to mind. you walk over to your desk and saw that the yellow sticky note with mark’s reply was still there. you find everything about this weird and just odd in general. a lot of questions sprouted, but you didn’t want to think of it since you were afraid you would complicate your thoughts and just throw yourself into a stress hole.

you continue to dry your hair with one hand while the other held onto the light blue sticky note. you bit your lip and gulp. after letting out a long sigh, you place the sticky note next to the other one and changed into your clothes, as well as bringing your drink from the living room table to your room, placing it on the desk as you sat down.

you take out your pencilcase from your bag and brought out your fresh new black pen that you just bought at the school’s stationery store. the previous pen you had was full of ink till soyoung was dumb enough to drop it, spoiling the pen and was unable to be used again.

peeling off another yellow stick note from the stack at the edge of your desk, you were about to put your pen on paper when you realise you dont even know what to write. what do you say to this person you barely know about? you continuously tap the edge of the pen against your desk as you take a sip of your drink. you look over to the two sticky notes with the messages that the person has left. its funny how you have to think so hard just to write a short message.

hey again. i actually ended school early today. my name’s raven. but my friends call me ray. i honestly don’t know what to say to you. im still dumbfounded over the fact that you’re my soulmate and we’re here communicating over sticky notes. the world really does work in a strange way. if you dont mind, i guess i want to know how old you are and you’re education status?

you held out the sticky note in front of you and sigh in satisfaction. why? it’s because of your neat handwriting. it was always a trait of yours that you deeply appreciate. you place the sticky note on the wall and advert your attention to the other sticky notes, placing them on the wall beside the new one you have just written.

“will this drive me insane? i might end up with a whole wall of this.” you say to yourself, rubbing your face with your palm before going to your bed and laying down, wanting to have your evening nap.

“this is awesome!”

“no its scary.”

mark and his group of friends stared at the sticky note that has a message written with beautiful handwriting. mark flinched when he felt an arm on his shoulder, turning around to notice it was chenle’s. “when did you write your previous sticky note?” renjun suddenly asked. mark tilts his head as he tried to find an answer.

“less than an hour before you guys came i guess?” mark shrugs, standing up from his desk and taking a seat at the edge of the bed beside jaemin and haechan. “this raven girl is your soulmate then.” chenle walks towards mark and stands in front of him. mark nods slowly. the room grew silent again with everyone having the similar thoughts.

“you know what would be funny?” haechan smacks mark’s thigh, the sound making everyone turn their attention to mark and haechan. “what?” mark asked with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“why dont we prank her and say you’re a sugar daddy and live in a mansion?!” everyone gave yuta weird looks, making haechan laugh hysterically. “are you crazy? do you think i want to chase my soulmate away?” mark scolded haechan, smacking him hard on the chest, resulting in haechan’s back falling onto the bed.

“you’re always asking for a beating i swear.” renjun comments, walking towards haechan and balling his hand into a fist and acting as if he was about to attack. jaemin laughs to try and calm them down. “kids let’s not fight.” jaemin announced, looking over to jeno only to find him standing there watching quietly.

“go ahead, mark. you should write something. we cant keep her waiting.” jeno finally spoke up, grabbing the sticky notepad and a random pen from mark’s table and passing it over to him.

mark stared at the blank paper while the others were talking about what to have for dinner. it didn’t take him long to decide what to write. when mark starts writing and began to be in full concentration, everyone crowds around him to see what he’s writing.

sup raven! i wont call you ray since we aren’t friends yet. im still shocked. like the possibility of things like this being possible is just another possibility that can possibly happen. but anyways, to answer you question, im a high schooler from dream high. im in my third year. its kind of awkward for me while im writing this since my friends are reading every word im taking down. i guess i should ask you the same question back then. hope to hear from you soon.

“will you guys stop being nosy?” mark groans, standing up and pasting the sticky note on his wall, along with the other sticky notes he received from you. “you didn’t have to say that we’re here.” haechan retorts. mark rolls his eyes. “jesus..” mark mutters under his breathe. “anyways, yall are paying for dinner since you guys bribed me to write back.” mark sticks his tongue out playfully and runs out to the living room. everyone follows suit.. except for jeno.

jeno slowly walks towards the wall and leans forward to get a closer look of the sticky notes, specifically the two others beside the new one that mark just wrote. “raven? why does that sound so familiar? the handwriting...” jeno brings his finger up and lightly hovers them over the uniquely written words. it looked like calligraphy, and retro looking. jeno felt as though he had seen it before somewhere, or knew someone who wrote like that.

jeno snapped out of his deep thoughts when jaemin called out to him, making him walk towards the door and glancing at the sticky notes once more before joining the others in the living room.

you were currently video calling your friends when you heard the crackling of a piece of paper. of course you knew what that meant. you peered down the the floor from your bed and reached your hand out to pick up the sticky note. “ray?” doyoung called out to you when he noticed your face wasnt on screen. you lay back down on the floor and brought your phone up to show your face.

“what was that sound earlier?” lucas asked, currently sounding hyper. “the mysterious mark sent me another sticky note.” you reply sarcastically, waving the sticky note to the camera to let everyone look at it. everyone nodded their heads at the some time, some letting out a long ‘ah’ as well. “read it out loud!” yuta shouted.

“the fuck no!” you shouted back. you stared at the sticky note, but didn’t bother to read it. you thought of doing that once you’re done video calling them.

“how was today for you guys?” you asked, wanting to know how they’re doing.

“its tiring! we had dance practice, then we have to do recordings for our new albums. we barely get any sleep.” ten whines, his tone filled with stress. you laugh loudly. it made everyone frown and pout. you sigh. “pursuing your NCT world domination is never easy.” you commented, highlighting the word ‘world domination’ with a change of tone.

everyone lets out a long sigh and started to complain one by one, making the whole video call chaotic for almost 10 minutes. you could only smile and shake your head.

after about an hour or so of talking about basically everything and catching up with each other, everyone decided that they should end the call here since it was beginning to get dark and they needed to start practice soon. you bid your goodbye to them once more and ended the call.

you now adverted your attention to the sticky note. reading the letter, you raise both eyebrows. “dream high? that’s not far from here..” you mumbled to yourself. you started to think about everything you know about dream high. you know it’s was about an hour’s journey from where you live. it wasnt really well known either. the overall vibe of the school was mediocre.

however, you felt like you were missing something. something about that school is somehow related to you. you just couldn’t think of an answer despite squeezing all thoughts that you have in your brain. you groan and stood up from your bed and to your desk, proceeding to wanting to write a reply to mark.

hey. sorry if you get this quite late. i was busy video calling my friends. to answer your question, im a third year as well from jookin high. i would ask for your number so we dont have to do this all the time but my friend would scold me saying “but you’re removing the fun out of it.” but anyways, mark aka my soulmate, tell me about yourself, to start off.

you stick the note onto the wall, looking at the row of messages you’ve had recieved so far. you found it weird how the first time you’ve sent the note and got a reply back, it was on the same sticky note, just different handwriting. but you had to write on a new sticky note to send a new message only to get the same sticky note with a different message in return.

you only see his answers lined up on your wall. you started to wonder how this mark guy looked like. is he good looking? what are his hobbies? his attitude towards school? you really wished you could just text him through instagram and not have to go through all this trouble. but that option would earn you a large smack on the back by soyoung and your really didn’t want that.

“do we really need to be here now? like now?!”soyoung whined, while pushing the cart and following behind you while you tossed some packets of frozen bacon. you stopped walking and turn around, nodding your head intensely. soyoung groans and took out her phone, proceeding to use it while still pushing the cart.

you walk around the supermarket, trying to find the ingredients listed on your notes in your phone. it was the weekends and you’re parents were going to be away for a business trip for a week so you thought of inviting soyoung over and making home cooked meals as a bonding session for you two.

after about 30 minutes of gathering the ingredients and having soyoung constantly screaming and fangirling over tiktok edits of jaehyun from NCT. one note: she has yet to know that you know them and that they’re your friends. you figured that it would be best to not let anyone know so as to avoid any situation that would put your friends in a tight spot, since well they’re idols, you were looking for one last item that you had trouble finding.

“soyoung help me! stop watching tiktoks!” you groan, snatching soyoung’s phone away and shoving it in her back pocket. soyoung rolls her eyes lazily and the two of you proceeded to scan the different isles and shelves, looking over every item.

while you were too concentrated looking at the bottom shelves, you felt that you have bumped into someone. you squat down, letting out a soft ‘ouch’ before standing up and looking to see who you bumped into.

“wait. jaemin?” you furrow your eyebrows as you tilt your head, pointing your finger at the guy in front of you. “raven!” you noticed that it was jaemin after all, and both your faces lit up and the same time, grinning widely at each other.

“uhhh..” soyoung says out loud, you and jaemin turn your heads to face soyoung who was behind you. “oh! this is jaemin. we used to be neighbourhood friends before he moved out 4 years ago.” you introduced jaemin to soyoung. jaemin nodded and gave her a bright smile. soyoung only shrugged her shoulders and took out her phone. you turn your attention back to jaemin.

“why are you even here? dont you live quite far?” you ask, your fingers interlocked behind your back. jaemin nods, running a hand through his hair.

“well yes. but we came here to find something that only this supermarket sells.” jaemin replied back, his warm smile never leaving his lips. you smile, reached your hand out to ruffle his hair, laughing softly afterwards. “we? who’re you with?” you stared at jaemin with eyes of suspicion. jaemin started pinching your cheeks, making you whine and begging him to let go.

“with my friend, ray chill. im still single.” jaemin pulled away and folded his arms, pouting. “im sure you’ll find one soon.” you reached out to ruffle his hair and give off a wide smile.

while you and jaemin were catching up and being in your own world, soyoung got too bored of watching the two of you and decided to walk around the supermarket, leaving the cart behind you.

just as she was looking at the drinks isle to get her favourite sweet drink, she sees someone picking up a bunch of bottles one by one and placing them back on the shelve. out of kindness, she decided to help, picking up a bottle and placing it on fhe shelve before looking up to face the guy, who had a straight face while looking at her.

“i was just trying to help. im soyoung.” soyoung smiled, reaching her hand out and waiting for thr guy to greet back. he looked at her but doesn’t respond, proceeding to pick up the last bottle that was seen on the floor. “im jeno.” jeno stands up and nods his head to greet soyoung. soyoung nods back, walking down the isle to grab her drink from the shelve. “have a nice day.” soyoung says before leaving the isle and disappearing out of jeno’s sight. he only shrugged in response and went to do his own thing.

“you met who?!” haechan asks as he takes a sip of his ice cold water. everyone had their heads turned to jaemin, who raised an eyebrow at everyone’s weird expression. “i met my old friend raven. what’s so shocking?” jaemin asks back casually, picking up a few pieces of fries and dipping it into the sauce before shoving it in his mouth.

“dude that’s the name of mark’s soulmate!” haechan screams, making everyone flinch due to the loud noise. “i highly doubt it. there’s plenty of girls in the world with the name raven.” jaemin protests with his mouth full and chugging down gulps of coca cola.

“i mean that’s true. jeno you were with jaemin, right? dont you suspect anything?” renjun starts to question jeno, who was silently playing with his phone. looking up at the others, he gulps.

“i didn’t know he met his friend. i was picking out drinks. i just met a girl named soyoung.” jeno shrugs, taking a bite of his burger. mark scratches the back of his head, now starting to think of the fact that jaemin might have met his soulmate. though he also thought about how that could not be totally possible.

“nah i dont think its her. like really ‘raven’ could be anyone.” mark says, siding with jaemin. haechan tilts his head in awe. “jaemin do you know what school she’s going to?” jaemin only shakes his head.

“i lost all contact with her when i left her neighbourhood. plus we were young. i barely knew her honestly.” the living room falls silent, everyone trying to think of a conclusion to this.

chenle groans, standing up from his seat and slamming his hands on the table, gathering everyone’s attention as their heads shot up. “instead of pondering as if yall are solving some crime, why dont mark just ask her through the sticky note god dammit?” chenle pinches the bridge of his nose.

everyone’s mouths gape open as the room was suddenly filled with ‘ah’s all over. chenle shakes his head. everyone was now looking intensively at mark. mark furrows his eyebrows. “okay guys hold up ill grab the stick note.” mark stands up and takes one bite of his burger before going into his room for awhile and coming out with a sticky note and a pen.

jaemin noticed jeno being silent the whole way. and althought thats normal since its jeno’s nature and personality to not be so outspoken like the others, jaemin could sense that jeno was off and seem to be in deep thoughts.

and jaemin was right. jeno couldnt stop thinking about jaemin’s encounter with ‘raven’. the name sounded so familiar. he tried to recall every girl he has came into contact with during his life. why did he feel like the name was tied to the handwriting he saw on the sticky notes?

“jeno.” jaemin nudged him in the shoulder. jeno mumbled a soft ‘oh’ before turning his attention to mark just like the others. “she didn’t send me a reply after my last one though.” mark says, looking up.

“its fine. she probably didn’t see it. just write already.” chenle says in anticipation. mark shakes his head. “calm the heck down its not like we can get an answer immediately.” mark rolls his eyes and began to write.

hey raven. um i know this may sound weird. but have you gone to a supermarket and met a guy names jaemin? im not a stalker i swear. its just that he’s my friend and apparently you know him. though i dont think that such a coincidence and come by just like that. hope you hear from you soon.

jeno stared at the sticky note that mark proceeded to place at a random wall of the living room while everyone continued to eat and chat. his thoughts finally linked and a imaginary lightbulb appeared on above his head when he finally realises why he was so drawn to mark’s soulmate.

you were focused on wanting to solve a math question when the sticky note above your desk’s wall had fallen in front of you, revealing a new message. you place your pen down and let out a sigh, remembering that you hsve forgotten to write a reply and that mark probably sent you another one.

you tied your hair in a messy low bun before picking up the sticky note to get a closer view. you blink your eyes rapidly as your eyes furrow in awe. what the note said really shocked you and made you freeze in your spot. jaemin is friends with your soulmate? there’s no way.

you sat there for awhile as you constantly read over the words, still in shock with your moutb hanging open. you just couldn’t believe it. was it really what it seemed to be? another thought came to your mind as well. the thought of just who is this friend of jaemin’s? could it be mark? was your soulmate literally in the same place as you yet you never knew?

you grab a fresh new piece of sticky note and proceeded to write a reply after staring at it for so long and thought that it was finally time that you do something.

okay what you wrote really was weird. jaemin’s my old neighbourhood friend. its such a coincidence how you know him. i guess the connections are there. so haha yeah. damn. im very mind blown right now.

you take a look at your handwriting again, smiling to yourself. “i really do love my handwriting.” you mumble under your breath. you stuck the sticky note on the wall and resumed doing your homework, hoping that mark would reply soon.

while the boys were immersed in the horror movie they were watching on friday night, everyone turned their heads to each other when they heard the noise of a piece of paper falling onto the floor. in unison, everyone turned their head to where the noise came from and seeing the sticky note that fell.

jisung grabs the controller and pauses the movie. “we’re watching a scary movie and creepy stuff like that happens?!” jisung asks, stuttering out of complete fear.

mark decided to be the brave one after seeing everyone’s terrified face and stands up to pick up the sticky note, going back to take his seat on the couch soon after. “d-does that always happen?” mark shrugs. “well duh. that’s how i know she sent a reply. it wouldn’t be this scary if we weren’t watching a horror movie.”

everyone’s heads once again gather around mark as he read the note out loud. everyone gapes their mouth open, some covered their mouths while jeno could only stare at it in disbelief. “i guess we’ve confirmed its her.” mark breathes out, placing the sticky note on the table.

jeno reaches out to grab the sticky note to have a look. the unique handwriting that he suspected would belong to you really was yours. out of anger, he tears the sticky notes into two. everyone had their eyes widened at jeno’s sudden shocking action. mark snatches the now torn note back, looking down at them before facing jeno.

“what the heck was that for?!”

“dont talk to her anymore. she’s trouble.”

everyone lets out a sigh in unison except for mark, looking at everyone’s weird reaction. “what do you mean trouble? and why does it look like you all know something except me?” mark furrows his eyes as everyone exchanged glances continuously for a moment.

“she’s just not someone you should be with. that’s all.” jeno stands up and walks to his room, slamming the door shut and produring a piercing noise. the room was silent for awhile until mark speaks up.

“what am i missing here you guys?”

no one replies.

“we’ve been friends for a year and you guys are all keeping secrets for me?” mark scoffs in disbelief, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“we arent in the position to tell you. its jeno.” jaemin murmurs under his breath, looking down on the ground just like the others.

marks keeps silent and stands up from the couch, the palm the torn note was in is balled into a fist as he goes into his room as well.

haechan sighs. “jeno has to tell the truth. he’s been holding onto that grudge almost forever now.”

everyone nods their heads in agreement. “if not, he’s going to live in despair now that he knows she’s his best friend’s soulmate..” jisung adds on. 

everyone could only silently hope that things could go well. 

after that day you’ve sent a reply, you havent heard from mark since. you dont know why. due to your lack of information on him, it felt as if he disappeared into thin air. although only a week has past by, you felt concerned and somewhat worried for him. did something happen to him? what made him cut off his connection with you? its not like you did anything wrong. 

out of pure desperation, you decided to skip school today. youve never skipped school before, and you felt so rebellious and bad. why did you do this? so you could go to dream high and meet mark in person. youve had enough of the sticky notes. you just wanted to see how he was like in real life, not having to think about it through notes. 

with a little help from jaemin by texting him on instagram, you knew that mark’s class should be ending by 4pm, and you were there at 3:50 in the canteen where jaemin told you to wait. funny how the security guard lets a student from another school come in with a pass or anything.

you slowly start seeing groups of students going down the flight of stairs that lead to the canteen which had a path leading to the front gates. some eyes glanced at you as they notice someone who doesnt belong at their school, you couldnt care less though. your thoughts were only filled with mark. how he looked like, how he would carry himself. your anticipation was the only thing you felt.

you wore your headphones yet you could suddenly hear a lot of squealing and shouting. you look up, turning you attention to the stairs. a large group of girls crowding around another group of people, who you assumed to be guys. you scoffed, thinking about how there’s always that one group of good looking guys all girls seem to go crazy for. you watch as the group of guys push through the large crowd.

once you got a closer look, you tilt your head to the side. you slowly bring your headphone down from your ears and let them rest on your neck, getting intrigued by how the girls were getting so crazy, even more crazy than the ones from your school.

“its mark! he’s so cute!” 

you widen your eyes as you heard the word ‘mark’. you stood up from your seat, peering your head up to find which one is the girl referring to. you only see two guys walking. one smiling sheepishly while the other kept a straight and cold face. just which one is mark?

suddenly, you felt an arm grabbing yours and pulling you back. you jump out of fear and turn around noticing it was jaemin. you calmed your breathing as you look at jaemin. 

“meet mark under the block nearby. its too hectic here for you to talk to him.”

jaemin dragged you out of the school grounds and to a secluded block where only a few students where walking past and left you there. you were lost in confusion but decided to trust whatever jaemin was doing, sitting down at a random bench.

“jaemin told us to meet him here where is-” 

“raven.”

“what?”

you immediately stood in front of the two guys you saw at the canteen as you notice a familiar face. you werent able to get a clear look at them before, but now you realise that you knew one of them. “jeno..” you look at a different direction a you tried avoiding his gaze, though you knew you couldnt, forcing yourself to meet his eyes.

mark looks at the both of you, utterly confused as his attention shifts from you to jeno constantly. “this raven?” mark points at you, tilting his head. you nod slowly as your turn your head to face mark. you observed his body up and down. he was good looking, just like jeno.. yet his aura told you that he was way more outgoing and open than jeno. 

“you look...”

everyone was silent.

you gulp in nervousness. “im busy. bye mark.” before jeno could go, mark pulled on his arm to bring him back to stand beside him, earning a glare from jeno. the one you could never forget. “stay. i know something happened. you were always quiet whenever we talked about this girl. and i also know you all kept something from me.”

you slowly turned to jeno. you could he was annoyed whenever he looked at you. you felt it through his eyes, and it was terrifying. jeno took a deep breath in, folding his arms and placing his weight on one leg. 

“if you remember clearly, chenle told you that before we became friends with you, we had a fight and didnt talk to each other for a long time. we didnt tell you this, but it was her who caused it. she brought chaos into our group. everyone forgotten about it clearly, but i cant. after what she did.. i cant forgive her.”

you opened your mouth, wanting to reply but your words were somehow stuck in your throat. you didnt exactly know what to say or do in this awkward situation.

“it.. it was a long time ago jeno, please. my feelings for you were real, even if we werent meant to be. i dont know how many times you need me to say sorry.” you pleaded, biting your lip as you waited for jeno’s reaction.

jeno sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he lets out a huff of rustration. “then why did you leave? you left me stranded, and because of you, i almost left my friends becaused i lived in agony since i missed you so much. i almost pushed everyone away.” you shivered as jeno’s voice started to raise. 

 you also glanced at mark, who still kept his confused expression on his face. through his gaze never left you as you felt his eyes scanning you body up and down. 

“you two used date?” mark asks. you nod in reply.

“we were kids. we didnt know about all this soulmate stuff. but now..” 

“you know what? be together. im not going to leave my friends just because of my pent up grudge and feelings. i cant control fate either.” 

years had now past since you met mark. it really was fate. the two of you became close in no time and now.. you were fianally married. you couldnt be more happy to be with mark. who you were destined to be really was made for you, and you only. and to think this all escalated due to a note you sent out in pure curiosity.

you still remember what happened with jeno after that day, despite the lack of interaction between you two, jeno was open enough to accept you as his friend again. you are now living a happy life with mark, and always being able to hang out with his group of friends. today was no different. 

“haechan get the chilli sauce!” you hear mark shout as you smile widely, feeling his arm snaking around your waist to pull you close. having a barbeque was a great idea to celebrate jisung’s birthday. 

you soon see haechan with the bottle of chilli sause, placing it on the table where everyone gathered around the table which had jisung’s birthday cake. “before we do anything with the cake, let me announce my wish.” jisung announces proudly. you raise an eyebrow. “you cant say you birthday wish out loud!” you scolded jisung, but everyone laughs.

“his wish is something we all know.” jeno says, winking playfully at you. you tilt your head in confusion when you suddenly feel mark’s arm leaving you waist. you look over to mark who was shoving his hand into his pocket as if to find something.

you were completely clueless when mark nods towards jisung, to show some kind of signal. “i wish for mark and raven to get married!” jisung shouts. 

you gaped your mouth open in shock when mark pulls out a small box, opening it in front of you to show a ring. you cover your mouth in disbelief. “did you guys really-”

“please marry me, raven. my sticky note soulmate.” you hear everyone clapping s a tear of happiness drips from your cheek. you quickly wipe it away as you heard the nickname that mark gave you. “we wouldnt normally do this but it was jeno that suggested this.”

you look over to jeno who had a soft smile on his face as he nod his head. looking back at mark, you grin widely as more tears started flowing out. “of course ill marry you, you dork.”

[thebooksaidthat]

5 Contemporary Book Recommendations with WLW relationships!

As promised, this is my list of 5 book recs with FF centered relationships! They’re in no particular order and I hope it’ll motivate you to read some good queer works of art! 

1. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32620332-the-seven-husbands-of-evelyn-hugo

Synopsis: Aging and reclusive Hollywood movie icon Evelyn Hugo is finally ready to tell the truth about her glamorous and scandalous life. When she chooses unknown magazine reporter Monique Grant for the job, no one in the journalism community is more astounded than Monique herself. Why her? Why now? Monique is not exactly on top of the world. Her husband, David, has left her, and her career has stagnated. Regardless of why Evelyn has chosen her to write her biography, Monique is determined to use this opportunity to jumpstart her career. Summoned to Evelyn’s Upper East Side apartment, Monique listens as Evelyn unfurls her story: from making her way to Los Angeles in the 1950s to her decision to leave show business in the late 80s, and, of course, the seven husbands along the way. As Evelyn’s life unfolds—revealing a ruthless ambition, an unexpected friendship, and a great forbidden love—Monique begins to feel a very a real connection to the actress. But as Evelyn’s story catches up with the present, it becomes clear that her life intersects with Monique’s own in tragic and irreversible ways. --> I read this a few months ago and I remembered myself just putting my Kindle down onto the bed and looked into my imaginary camera man’s face thinking about the ending. I loved everything about this book, the friendship, the romance and the style of writing tied them up nicely. Also, apparently there’s going to be a TV series coming soon in the future so yes I’m 110% confident I’ll be crying with a bag of chips at the end too ;’) Seriously though, do yourself a favor and read this! 2. The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53066661-the-falling-in-love-montage

Synopsis: Saoirse doesn’t believe in love at first sight or happy endings. If they were real, her mother would still be able to remember her name and not in a care home with early onset dementia. A condition that Saoirse may one day turn out to have inherited. So she’s not looking for a relationship. She doesn’t see the point in igniting any romantic sparks if she’s bound to burn out. But after a chance encounter at an end-of-term house party, Saoirse is about to break her own rules. For a girl with one blue freckle, an irresistible sense of mischief, and a passion for rom-coms. Unbothered by Saoirse’s no-relationships rulebook, Ruby proposes a loophole: They don’t need true love to have one summer of fun, complete with every cliché, rom-com montage-worthy date they can dream up—and a binding agreement to end their romance come fall. It would be the perfect plan, if they weren’t forgetting one thing about the Falling in Love Montage: when it’s over, the characters actually fall in love… for real. --> The Falling in Love Montage is one of favorite FF books because I couldn’t not relate myself with the main character, Saoirse. I loved her humor throughout the book. She came off a little strong at first and it did seem like she was annoying but there’s a reason why she’s so sarcastic and cynical and I loved that the book wasn’t all 100% about the romance (although that is one of the best parts of it). I binged this within two days and I was fairly satisfied at the end and I can’t not recommend this enough for those who want to read a happy queer romance book! ALSO I LOVE THE COVER SO MUCH 3. The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36952571-the-weight-of-the-stars

Synopsis: Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends. One day she meets Alexandria: a furious loner who spurns Ryann’s offer of friendship. After a horrific accident leaves Alexandria with a broken arm, the two misfits are brought together despite themselves—and Ryann learns her secret: Alexandria’s mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system. Every night without fail, Alexandria waits to catch radio signals from her mother. And its up to Ryann to lift her onto the roof day after day until the silence between them grows into friendship, and eventually something more . . . In K. Ancrum’s signature poetic style, this slow-burn romance will have you savoring every page. --> The Weight of The Stars is mostly a quiet read, and when they say slow-burn, they really mean it. I loved this one a lot even thought it’s mostly a character-driven type of book. This is sort of an enemies-to-lovers type of book, though it went fairly quickly from enemies to friends. This book feels like something you should read slowly, just to savor it all and process everything on the pages.  4. Her Name in The Sky by Kelly Quindlen Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20886492-her-name-in-the-sky

Synopsis: Hannah wants to spend her senior year of high school going to football games and Mardi Gras parties with her tight-knit group of friends. The last thing she wants is to fall in love with a girl--especially when that girl is her best friend, Baker. Hannah knows she should like Wally, the kind, earnest boy who asks her to prom. She should cheer on her friend Clay when he asks Baker to be his girlfriend. She should follow the rules of her conservative Louisiana community--the rules that have been ingrained in her since she was a child. But Hannah longs to be with Baker, who cooks macaroni and cheese with Hannah late at night, who believes in the magic of books as much as Hannah does, and who challenges Hannah to be the best version of herself. And Baker might want to be with Hannah, too--if both girls can embrace that world-shaking, yet wondrous, possibility.  --> Her Name in The Sky is a beautiful coming age story between two girls in a conservative town. I did find this one slightly harder to read because I usually stray away from books like these but I think it’s good to pick something up like this from time to time. Don’t be scared away though because this has a good and happy ending to it. 5. Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner Link to book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52915426-something-to-talk-about

Synopsis: A showrunner and her assistant give the world something to talk about when they accidentally fuel a ridiculous rumor in this debut romance. Hollywood powerhouse Jo is photographed making her assistant Emma laugh on the red carpet, and just like that, the tabloids declare them a couple. The so-called scandal couldn't come at a worse time--threatening Emma's promotion and Jo's new movie. As the gossip spreads, it starts to affect all areas of their lives. Paparazzi are following them outside the office, coworkers are treating them differently, and a "source" is feeding information to the media. But their only comment is "no comment". With the launch of Jo's film project fast approaching, the two women begin to spend even more time together, getting along famously. Emma seems to have a sixth sense for knowing what Jo needs. And Jo, known for being aloof and outwardly cold, opens up to Emma in a way neither of them expects. They begin to realize the rumor might not be so off base after all...but is acting on the spark between them worth fanning the gossip flames? --> Another queer rom-com heading your way with this final rec! This was a fun and cute read about the romance between Jo, who is a Chinese Hollywood star and her assistant, Emma. I read this in a book slump and I loved it, its sort of a fake-dating trope like book and I’ve never read something like this outside of fanfiction so it was an enjoyable experience all the way! Also, when the author described Jo at one of the red carpets with her dress with pockets, my mind automatically imagined Gemma Chan from Crazy Rich Asians as her.

[thistangledbrain]

Deliberately lumping 17 & 18 together this time, because 17 isn’t that big of an entry.

Day 17 - “Accommodations”

So from a *personal* standpoint, I need few or no accommodations, as I’ve learned to make my own & have my own coping skills - when you spend most of your life not even knowing you’re autistic, you’re less likely to ask for something to help you with “your weird hangups”.

But younger auties often DO need accommodations- like being allowed to wear headphones/muffs in school, having a quieter testing environment, smaller classes, and so on. And obviously, the more you struggle with certain aspects (like loud noises or crowds), the more accommodations you’ll need.

I admit I don’t have much experience with the kids who truly need the total SPED environments. *Most* (definitely not all) kids I’ve known have all been capable to a degree of adapting to a NT environment. It’s *exhausting*, but possible *most of the time*. So since I’m a child of “suck it UP!”, I’m unfamiliar with this outside of simple accommodations I asked for, for my youngest, when he was in his earlier HS years - like headphones being allowed, and letting him keep his cell phone on him so he could quietly text with me if he was having a rough day & we could walk through it together. As he’s progressed through high school, he’s needed these accommodations less and less. I’ve noticed as my boys have edged through puberty, they leave more and more of their younger struggles behind them.

Your results may vary, of course.

———————————————

Day 18 - “Someday”

Hm. Boy, that’s ambiguous. Maybe I’ll take this one on from a couple different angles.

Someday I hope NTs understand autism better. Someday I hope each autistic person can be judged on their OWN PERSONAL strengths and weaknesses, like NTs are, instead of lumping us all together and deciding we can or can’t do something, based on the fact we’re autistic. For example, I know *plenty* of autistic musicians who play in bands ranging from death metal & punk rock, to smooth jazz. “But I thought autistic people couldn’t handle loud sounds!!”, you exclaim. Yeah, and some of us can. Also, not all loud sounds are created equal. Or sounds in general. A good example for me is, I occasionally jump and let out a little scream when the toast pops up 🙄, but I don’t flinch at the sound of gunfire - because I love to target shoot (I do not hunt), and it’s something I’m really good at, so I enjoy it thoroughly. (I’m not going to get started on America’s gun violence problem because it enrages me. I can rant about that allllll day & already deleted two paragraphs doing just that. This was just a convenient example.)

I’ve been thinking about this a LOT lately, actually. We have our own hurdles, without NTs adding to them, anyway. But I think about “what if I knew I was autistic, before I joined the Marines? Would I still have been as determined?” YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT...BUT I would have hit a brick wall, because they wouldn’t have let me (if I was honest about it, anyway - I’m telling you right now, if every applicant was 100% honest about their background, almost NO ONE would be accepted). So what happened? Well - I was a damned good Marine, that’s what happened - because I didn’t let *anybody* tell me I couldn’t do something. And as I mentioned before...for certain types of auties, the military is actually a pretty fucking brilliant, comfortable environment that we literally thrive in. Again - we are all different. So this “someday” one is BIG for me. Someday I hope we are judged individually on our merits, someday I hope we are looked at through the lens of what we CAN do, versus what *someone else* thinks we cannot do. I have YET to meet an Autie who doesn’t go “OH YEAH?!” when we’re told we “can’t” do something because of our autism. (We might not always succeed, granted, but we really hate being told we “can’t” do something, based on what YOU think we can and cannot do.)

Someday I hope autism is actually celebrated, instead of thinking it’s some sort of scourge. I hope to see that happen in my lifetime.

Someday I also hope that people (the doctors and psych folks and whatever) realize there’s actually a *considerable* difference between male and female autistics - which is why females are so often diagnosed late in life, because we “don’t fit the profile”. I also hope they realize that some females are more like males, and some males more like females, as far as the expression of our ASD. In other words - back to HOW ABOUT YOU EVALUATE US INDIVIDUALLY, FFS. I hear all this shit about how “autism is a spectrum”, and it just seems like lip service - if you KNOW it’s a spectrum, then why are you still trying to pigeonhole us into the DSM-5 definition or whatever, and operating inside generic parameters?? Auties are the most complex human beings you will ever meet in your life - and I stand FIRMLY by that - so your attempts to shoehorn us into your basic understanding of it is frustrating as FUCK. Infuriating, even. No wonder we fight you so bad when you try it. How would YOU like it if we decided that every middle class blonde woman is a “Karen”, and treated you as such? Or if we decided everyone with brown eyes are slow and we should treat all of you brown eyed people the same, like infants? You’d be like, “what the FUCK?” Yeah. It’s a lot like that.

Someday, I hope more therapists understand the autistic brain better, so they can be more helpful. Sometimes the same advice you’d give a NT patient struggling with an issue (let’s say, the death of a loved one or executive function) just won’t ...WORK...for an Autie. As it stands now, most therapists I’ve known go straight to ABA, and that gets frustrating when you just need to let it all out so you can re-center and actually have a discussion. Speaking of ABA, someday I hope teachers and doctors and therapists understand the resentment and feelings of being “wrong” or “bad” that result from ABA. SOME of it is necessary I think, but mostly, all it does is teach repression & lets us know loud and clear that the way we are is “wrong”. I desperately hope ABA is reevaluated - with the input from ACTUAL AUTISTICS. Using ABA for to overcome a problem like, say, potty training or something, is often seriously necessary. But potty training isn’t part of *who we are*, if that makes sense. Most ABA is basically like putting your Autie kid in a dog training bootcamp, with little to no thought about “what makes that kid tick”. It’s all about training you to act in a way that NTs find acceptable (and I have lots and lots of cuss words about that........) I don’t even train DOGS like some schools or therapists train auties. Dogs aren’t beings to dominate, control, and condition to act in ways I find pleasing (but I’m also not a “general trainer”...I’m on the behavior side of things). They’re sentient beings who deserve to have their personalities discovered, their traumas and their hangups, and THEN we work inside THAT dog’s parameters until we’re solid...*then* we start working on pushing them outside of comfort zones and such. AFTER that trust and understanding has been laid down as a solid foundation, for *that specific dog*, regardless of my experience with past dogs (though I do rely heavily on past experiences of course; knowledge of what did and didn’t work with some other dog similar to the one I have now - that sort of thing - but every dog is a whole new being to me...because, well, they actually *are*). Nothing is “cookie cutter”. Every dog is a brand new exploration. I understand that’s putting a lot of pressure on SPED teachers. I understand they’re baffled when I tell them ABA sucks as a because they see “positive results”. Sure - you see positive results in your ability to repress that child. Positive results in the fact that they’ve now learned to hide themselves from you and others. It seems the current ABA methods don’t necessarily teach any sort of useful skills for actually adapting to the flow of the NT world for that kid - just how to repress who they are, so they fit in. In other words - ABA is successful for the NT world - not us. It actually depresses the shit out of me to think about how teachers and counselors view the rocking and flapping kid they’ve now trained to sit quietly in class feels like their work is successful. You didn’t help that kid - you BROKE them, you broke their spirit, you broke who they are. That makes me so angry. Same when these so called “star trainers” can force or intimidate any dog to performative good behavior. Same as the difference between how native Americans train their horses versus how Anglo Saxons or others did/do. In the native culture, we call it “gentling”. In AS culture *it is LITERALLY called “breaking”*. I’m not kidding - look it up.)

As for my personal “someday”....

Someday I’ll write a book about my adventures & struggles in life and what it was like inside my brain through each one. It’s not that I think I’m anything special, but I’ve been asked to do this, and the reasons were pretty logical. And I do love to write, usually. Or maybe it’ll be a book about how my autism is a HUGE advantage in “my line of work” (the dog thing...being sort of more of a dog/human “guidance counselor” than a trainer - since I hear your voice and feelings, and I also hear your dog’s, I’m less of a trainer and more of a bridge between the two. An interpreter, but also almost like a marriage counselor too LOL). I think that’s my biggest “someday” and the only one worth mentioning, because it’s such a huge goal...most of my other personal “someday” stuff, I eventually kinda go “well fucking why not TODAY, bish?!” and I just...DO it.

But generally, someday I hope it’s understood that no two autistic people are alike - but we share enough commonality that it’s possible to understand we’re basically in a different category of people from “normal”. Someday I hope NTs in general drop their stereotypes and get to know us one on one. Someday I hope people realize and understand that even nonverbals are whole ass human beings, with thoughts and dreams and opinions and a whole complex personality that you missed, because you were too busy judging the fact they can’t speak like you do.

Someday I hope you realize we *enhance* the human experience, we don’t detract from it. Someday I hope you realize we are not BROKEN, we are just different. Someday I wish you’ll stop being so smug and stuck up in your “normally functioning brain”, and stop PITYING us. For fucking what??? Experiencing life in a much more complex and deep way?? Bruh. We pity YOU, too. Your world perception often seems dull and wasteful. Limited. OPEN UP - there’s a whole universe out there that you haven’t even explored. So, someday I hope we can enhance each other’s human experience, like my friends and I do. I’d love to see that on a larger scale.

Someday.

[fifteenskies15]

✧ Random Headcanon: Sanemi and Giyuu as couples (with a bit of SaneGiyuu as Kamaboko squads Dads) ✧

Admin 15: I don't know what was I thinking while making this, I was just washing my hands and suddenly my brain ask me: "girl, remember that someone in Twitter post about Sanemi and Giyuu adopting the kamaboko squad because of chapter 200 cover?? Also ain't you like, ship them so hard?? Like, sis?? Aside the fact you pair that angry gremlin w/ your daughter, why not write about them as a couple?? Dads??" like, hoe, don't give me ideas...now look what have you done to me, well anyways... I'll just go with it, even tho this shit is gonna be crappy as heck, and now, Alexa, please play Deathpacito.

So like, let's see, Giyuu is probably the stoic dad and doesn't know what the hell he gotta do, but regardless he loved his "dysfunctional little family" though doesn't know how he shows it

And Sanemi, boy, he's probably that kind of dad who would beat your ass with a belt if you don't eat your vegetables or run away from training (although you can't blame them since his training is hecking intense), but! Knowing that he used to have a lots of siblings, he still had a softer and understanding sides even though his pride overshadowed his kindness.

Dad Nemi is an intense mentor who would not hesitate to slaughter someone's ass (*cough* Zenitsu *cough*)

And Dad Giyuu is the mentor who seems calm and serene like the sea itself, but actually very merciless (like, he was under Urokodaki's tutelage and we have seen how he train Tanjiro)

The training consist gruelling drills, intense physical training, sparring and Zenitsu's blood curling scream or Inosuke shouting his usual "pig assault"

Like, can you imagine the chaos?

"THIS IS NOT A TRAINING, THIS IS A TORTURE TRIAL!!"

"Shut your goddamn mouth, Agatsuma!! Either go drag your sorry ass here or I'm going to beat you to death!"

"I'm gonna beat you this time half and half haori!! Just you watch!"

"Do a 1000 times sword swinging then I will accept your challenge"

Tanjiro and Nezuko probably the only one who gets on their good side, and deemed "Dads favorite kids"

Would you look at that bias...

Even so Dad Nemi wouldn't even hesitate to show how merciless he can be to Tanjiro though...

Now, trainings session aside, let's move on to the dads quality time.

While the kids squads were minding their own business, Sanemi and Giyuu would bask under the sunlight either on the engawa of Shinazugawa estate or Tomioka estate or even under the tree.

Sanemi would be the one who lay his head on Giyuu's lap (UwU)

Demand that Giyuu stroke his hair or he will beat his ass (hoe you're thirsty for affection)

And so Giyuu did, he thought Sanemi's hair is soft

And Giyuu smiled at how cute he is

Ohagi and a bowl of salmon radish is a must for their lunch date, no other food is allowed, except for green tea and three coloured dumplings as dessert

LIKE, IMAGINE THEY'RE FEEDING EACH OTHER

"Don't just eat that thing, try this..."

"You can't eat too much sweets, here, taste this"

Also when it comes to a date, it's just a simple stroll around the town or somewhere else

NOW IMAGINE THEM HOLDING HANDS

*dead*

Even 15 herself can't comprehend their cuteness, this was beyond her imagination.

PDA wasn't a thing for Giyuu but it sure is for Sanemi.

He loves the water pillar just as much, okay?

He probably circling his strong arm around Giyuu's petite waist while explaining today's training sessions to their children kamaboko squads.

Their display of affection make them gag (except that Tanjiro still finds it adorable, what a pure boy)

When it comes to praising the kids squads effort, Giyuu would smile softly and Pat their heads while saying "Good job"

And Sanemi hesitantly give them a pat on the back while saying "decent effort"

It makes the kids squads go fuwa fuwa

And before I conclude my crappy HC, allow me to explain their nightly routine

Personally, Giyuu gave me the "I haven't been sleeping for 3 days" vibe, so Sanemi would probably make a cup of chamomile tea to help his fatigue problem.

And...and...

NIGHTLY BATH

Okay that might sounded NSFW-ish but hear me out!!

Them enjoying the warm water that ease their muscles and wash away their stress.

And Sanemi who would hugged Giyuu from behind and placed his chin on his shoulder while whining about today's training and how much he missed him everytime they're separated in order to finish their mission

Okay he's not whiny, but one's gotta tell someone their problem to get it off their chest do they not?

Or telling Giyuu that he's not disliked...

And after that, they dried each other before slipping into their yukata

AND CUDDLES while sleeping.

And when morning comes, Inosuke break in to the estate and shouted "IT'S TIME TO TRAIN!! COME ON! I'M PUMPED FOR TODAY'S SESSION!!"

"Your son demands us to train him"

"Before sunrise, he was your son"

*15 hyperventilating noise* Oh my God, Oh my God, did I just do that?? Oh my God, I did, holy moly!! Please don't mind me, it's just I can't believe I wrote a HC about my OTP and it's really nerve-wracking >< I'm really sorry because this shit is cringy af and that you don't like it!!

(also I'm a slut for SaneGiyuu and Giyuu x Pillars ff or headcanons, so i might or might not do em in the near future)