#(implied in a comedic way but I do think I should tag it just to be safe)

[white-weasel]

"All I eat are cold sandwiches that are supposed to be hot, or hot sandwiches that are supposed to be cold"

i.e. a compilation of just how much Frank Catton's life sucks

[clearlynotjanus]

Moceit Appreciation Week :: Aftermath

Read on Ao3

Art by @nonchimerical​

tag list: @sanderssidesangsttrash @catalinaacosta @whatishappeningrightnow @the-snekwhisperer-world @varthandi @the-dead-and-the-decaying @serpentinesomebody ​​​

CW: Alcohol/Wine mention, food mention, insinuated swearing Word Count: 5646 Genre: Hurt/Comfort Rating: Teen Ships: Moceit, implied Loceit, implied Intruloceit, implied Dukeceit, implied if you squint Prinxiety

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         “Well,” Janus started, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Seems like things worked out after all,” Here it comes, he thought, another round of the Blame Game. “Guess I was wrong about everything,” It didn’t matter that they had just come to some sort of understanding; after years of passing the buck between them, Janus was awfully accustomed to Patton saying his input was wrong -- Especially in a situation like this, where evolving circumstances made his advice seem moot.

         “You and I both know …” Patton’s soft voice interrupted Janus’ bitterness. The tone caught him off guard, though as far as he knew, the sentence would end in a crushing you’re wrong. It was best not to get his hopes up, but the silence dragged on too long, and Janus’ defenses fell with his racing thoughts. “That’s not true,” Patton finished finally and Janus couldn’t help but to look over at the wistfully pensive expression that accompanied Patton’s admission. Perhaps it was just a sense of victory he felt, but humorlessly, his lips reciprocated.

         “Is that--” Janus began only to be comedically interrupted by the vagrant and imaginative impression of Leslie Odom Jr. With a heavy sigh, the specter was dismissed and the sounds of Thomas with his friends began to fill the apartment.

         Awkwardly, Janus and Patton stood next to each other. Sidelong, Janus caught Patton’s expression softening as Thomas laughed loudly at something Lee just said.

         “Well, even if things did work out,” Janus started again, chin raised like he expected a fight. Patton blinked and turned his head, wearing a curious expression as though he had actually been content standing in silence together. “You should still consider what Logan and I said today.”

         “Oh, well, yeah,” Patton said like that was a given. The sentence trailed off in an unusual and nervous way that made it feel like he had more to say, but more never came. Janus resigned himself to being content with that. Patton had seen the repercussions of his actions; there was little more he could do now besides press the issue when need be.

         “Good,” He paused, nodding slightly. Speaking of Logan, the thought crossed his mind that he should check on him, given how their bargain had gone. “At any rate, I suppose I’ll … see you another time.”

         Patton forced a smile, pulling at the fabric of his shirt anxiously. “Yeah! See you around, Jan,” The old nickname slipped out and Patton cleared his throat.

         A week later, Patton squeaked an, “Oh,” as he walked into the Light Side kitchen. “Hiya, Janus,” He greeted in a pitchy, nervous voice. A weird feeling blossomed in his stomach and he thought he might be getting sick.

         “Hello, Patton,” Janus gave a half-lipped smile as he finally reached into the fridge, having stood here for the better part of an hour.

         “Didn’t expect to see you over here,” Patton’s anxiety was evident; just holding the cup he had come to place into the sink was a gamble given how shaky his hands were suddenly. “Everything okay?”

         “Oh, just peachy,” He responded sweetly, tipping the freshly retrieved carton of milk into his now cold cup of tea. “We were just out of milk you see,” He explained, holding the carton up as evidence before sliding it back into the fridge.

         “Oh, okay,” Well, that made sense, as long as Patton didn’t think about it too hard. Brushing his hip against the counter on the far side of the kitchen, Patton placed his cup into the sink and promptly turned back around. “Well if that’s all, I’ll--”

         “There was one more thing actually,” Janus interrupted, absentmindedly opening a drawer to borrow a spoon. He turned to face Patton, expression unreadable. “Just while I have you here, of course.”

         “S-sure!” Patton stuttered. “What’s on your mind?” He gripped the lip of the counter he leaned against, knuckles soon going white.

         “Well I was just wondering,” Janus continued slowly as he stirred his tea unnecessarily. “If you had any, oh I don’t know;” his tongue clicked with a shallow, one shouldered shrug. “Dilemmas, problems, maybe some quandaries of poor Thomas’ that you needed to … bounce ideas around for?”

         Patton gulped and quickly shook his head. The lively feeling in his stomach suddenly felt unpleasantly warm. “Nope!” He laughed humorlessly as he pushed himself forward and started to stumble backwards out of the kitchen. “None at all! Thomas has, hah, Thomas has been doing just great lately! No problems here!” The air sweetened and Janus lost his appetite for his overly sugared cup of tea. “If that’s all--”

         “Yes, yes, whatever then,” Janus raised the spoon out of his cup and waved it dismissively with a sigh, flicking drops of tea on the floor.

         Patton hopped the last two steps out of the kitchen and was hardly down the hall when he heard a new voice. High pitched and nasally, it was unmistakably the Duke’s. Patton’s body froze in fear.

         “Janny! What’s taking you so long?” Janny? Patton questioned internally. That’s … actually kind of a cute nickname…

         “Remus,” Janus sounded annoyed and surprised. “I told you to wait.”

         “I was waiting! For like, a whole hour! How long does it take to get milk?” The frustration in Remus’ voice grew and Patton’s brows furrowed. An hour? Janus was … in their kitchen for an hour?

         “However long it takes,” Janus mumbled and Patton got the sense he wasn’t talking about getting milk anymore. Suddenly the clattering sound of Janus carelessly tossing his teacup into the sink rang in his ears; until then, Patton didn’t realize how hard he was listening, or how quickly his heart was beating. He squeaked, too loudly, and then the voices in the kitchen stopped as he threw a hand over his mouth.

         “Who the fu--” Remus abruptly stopped. Patton’s ears twitched, going red. He could almost make out the sound of a whisper. Fear set adrenaline lose in his blood and he silently sank out.

         Later that month, Patton and Roman sat on the couch, watching some show together. Between Roman becoming distracted with the notebook in his lap and Patton dreamily staring out the window, neither of them really knew what was happening on screen; but that much didn’t really matter. Patton enjoyed sitting there, listening to Roman’s scribbles, and Roman enjoyed not being holed up in his room, burning his candle at both ends. It was a pleasant afternoon, for all intents and purposes.

         “I’m going to grab a Coke,” Roman said with a stretch, setting his notebook aside. “You want one?”

         “Huh?” Patton blinked, “Oh yeah, sure. Thanks!” He said with a typical smile.

         The cushions had hardly risen from Roman’s absence before the couch was jostled again. “That was fas--” Patton started before registering who had actually taken Roman’s place. “Oh, J-Janus, hello,” His voice hitched and the television suddenly felt muted.

         “Hello, darling,” Janus greeted warmly, an arm over the back of the couch.

         “What’s up?” Patton questioned, taking a deep breath. Nerves wracked his stomach familiarly and a warmth made the back of his neck itch. “Everything alright?”

         “Splendid, of course, thank you,” Janus charmed and paused. With curiosity, he reached for Roman’s notebook between them.

         “Oh, you shouldn--” Patton started but it was too late; Janus had flipped open the cover and started admiring the haphazard yet beautiful doodles on the first page.

         “So I was thinking,” Janus began, thumbing to another page. His eyes glazed over the curly cursive writing. Patton glanced anxiously behind Janus; if Roman walked in right now… “Have you noticed anything … off about our dear Thomas lately?”

         “Off?” Patton echoed. He tried to think; ever since the reconciliation he had with Lee and Mary-Lee, things had been … better. Patton had been trying to lay off of reacting to things so quickly and he thought he was doing well with it. “N-no, I don’t think anything specific’s been wrong,” He surmised slowly. “Why do you ask?” Had Janus noticed something he didn’t? His stomach tightened uncomfortably now.

         “Just wondering is all,” He dismissed with a curt smile. A pause ensued and Patton could hear Roman hum-singing to himself in the kitchen. Janus placed his palm on the couch and stared at Patton from under his lashes after a moment. “Though that brings up an interesting question, don’t you think?” His voice was low and provocative. Patton had to listen closely to hear anything at all, which made him lean towards Janus unconsciously. He felt like a useless fly; did that make Janus something dangerous? Something that’d burn him or swallow him up if he got too close?

         “D-does it?” Patton stuttered, trying to keep his voice as quiet as Janus’. Admittedly, he wasn’t exactly following; too paranoid about Roman coming back, too nervous about what Janus was about to say, too flustered from suddenly being this close. Butterflies cut up the inside of his stomach.

         “Mhmmmm,” Janus exaggerated, “Tell me,” He batted his eyes and Patton’s cheeks warmed. “Would you even let me know if something was wrong? ... Would you let me help in that case?”

         Patton’s mouth opened like he had a response immediately, but no words followed; only a rush of warm air that blew sweetly in Janus’ face. He didn’t have an answer to that question, and thankfully, he wouldn’t need one.

         “One Coke for the Marvelous Morality~” Roman sang as he rounded the kitchen corner, two filled glasses in his hands.

         Patton blinked and Janus was gone, making him wonder if he had imagined the entire thing. Roman slid the drinks onto the coffee table and plopped heavily back on the couch with a gruff sound. Patton straightened his back as Roman reached for his notebook.

         “Hm?” Roman’s brow furrowed, “Did you open this, Pat?” Patton struggled with his words for a second before Roman laughed. “If you wanted to read what I was working on, you could’ve just asked! Here,” Roman flipped through the pages, ignorant to the dumbfounded expression on Patton’s face, “I’ll read this much to you, but prepare yourself; it’s a little rough,” Roman said with grandeur before clearing his throat several times.

         If asked, Patton couldn’t recall what Roman had read to him then. Janus’ words kept repeating in his ears until Patton was so dizzy, he felt faint.

         The warm month of May shifted impatiently towards the sweltering Flordian heat of June. Even as the sun set, the summer continued to loom with heavy, humid air. Realizing that the apartment showed no signs of cooling off any time soon, Patton went to his room with the intent of changing into something lighter than his usual khakis. His heart stopped and all traces of a coherent thought process came to an abrupt halt, however, as he spotted someone on his bed.

         “Oh hello, dear,” Janus purred as though this was a chance meeting. He was lounging back, head resting against Patton’s pillow, one leg crossed over the other. His hat was placed on his stomach, revealing a crooked hairline that seemed to be pushed back by the encroaching scales on the left side of his face; a sight Patton had caught glimpses of by now, but not one he was altogether familiar with.

         “J-Janus!” Patton managed through the shock, a hand clutched the fabric of his shirt at his chest. “You almost gave me a heart attack!” He panted, forcing himself to take a gasping, deep breath.

         “Apologies,” Janus offered a half smile, but hadn’t yet looked at Patton for more than a glance. Instead, he was focused on flipping through the rectangle shaped memories in his hands. Patton recognized them, once he gathered his senses enough to register the scene fully.

         “You ... came to look at those?” Patton assumed, leaning to the side with a raised chin to peer at the one Janus was now staring at. It was an old memory that had begun to go grayscale at the edges. From Patton’s point of view like all of them, it showed Janus; smug at all of ten years old in an oversized hat that fell lopsided on his head. He looked as smart as any actual lawyer might as they won their case. Janus could tell Patton had been smiling when this memory became dear enough to actualize here, in his room.

         “In a way,” Janus admitted. Unlike prior conversations, his voice was soft and now he, too, wore a rather endeared smile -- at least for a silent moment, as they both appreciated the memory. Soon he sighed and flipped to the next. The color of this one was vibrant and tinged in an idealistic, soft pink; the color of a schoolboy’s blush. Janus, now perhaps thirteen, reached over with a puzzle piece in hand. It was one of the last few Patton needed to finish the border he had been working on all afternoon. He remembers having begun tearing up, frustrated at not being able to complete something like that. But then Janus walked in. He had simply blinked between Patton’s watery eyes and the pile of pieces, sat down, and began to rifle through them for a moment before locating the one Patton needed. He pressed it into place easily and smiled. It hadn’t been his usual egotistical or knowing smile. It was one that made Patton’s little teenage heart race.

         Janus sighed with finality and placed the pile of memories on Patton’s bedside table. As he sat on the edge, he put his hat back on. “Mostly I wanted to see if my own memories lined up,” Janus said as he stood, busying himself with adjusting his clothing. “You’ve been so obstinate lately, I had begun to think we never worked well together.”

         Patton’s heart sank and so did his head. “We used to,” He whispered at the floor.

         “We did,” Janus said, bittersweetness on his tongue. He shrugged and took slow steps around Patton. “It’s a shame you won’t just let us be like that again,” Janus shrugged a flimsy wrist, sounding mockingly disheartened. “But,” He amended as he reached the door behind Patton. “You’ve had everything handled without me for years now, so,”

         “Yeah,” Patton agreed, instantly regretting how loud his voice was. “I have had everything handled! This whole time!” He spun around and Janus’ hand froze on the doorknob. “Without you! and now you’re trying to be around, acting like we can just go back to how it was, assuming that the others will just -- just -- get over it or something,” Patton’s voice gained an exasperated and humored edge despite finding absolutely none of this funny. “Roman nearly had a breakdown at just the idea of trusting you! Virgil can’t be in the same room with you! I just -- I don’t,” Patton’s anger began to fizzle out into despair.

         His breathing caught up with him, now heavy and quick. The hand that had been pointing with accusation at Janus’ back fell with the intent of gripping his shoulder, but as though Janus saw that coming, he pulled away.

         “I see,” He said, after a silent moment with an unreadable tone. “You have a lot to worry about,” Janus released the door knob. “Don’t let me keep you then,” and as fast as Patton could blink, Janus was gone.

         One night, a little over a week later, Patton couldn’t sleep no matter what he did. Supposing he deserved a cookie for his trouble, he wandered into the kitchen, only to find the light already on. He froze and blinked sleepy eyes at the scene; was that … Janus? and Logan? Sitting at the small table by the bookshelf together? Patton gulped and the pair noticed him before he could digest much more.

         “Patton,” Logan greeted curtly, sitting up as he seemed to notice how far over he had been leaning. “It’s late. What are you doing up?”

         ���Well I could say the same thing to you!” Patton joked, but his tone was off. The three sat in awkward silence and Janus busied himself with retrieving the nearly empty bottle of wine from the floor between them. “Wh--What are you guys up to?” Patton asked conversationally, pressing his knuckles together nervously.

         Janus and Logan exchanged a look and Patton’s face became feverish. He had never felt so terribly out of place before. He shifted on his feet, realizing how uncomfortable his skin was.

         “Well if you must know,” Janus answered, refilling Logan’s glass before meeting Patton’s eyes. His gaze was lidded, knowing, and it set Patton on fire. “We’re trying to find a solution to a problem you insist doesn’t exist.”

         “Oh now, that can’t be true!” Patton objected eagerly, taking a half step forward only to receive a dubious expression from Logan.

         “And why’s that?” Janus asked as he refilled his own glass. “Because you know everything?” His voice was heavy with sarcasm and wine. Janus could feel Logan’s gaze on him now; curious, wondering how he had gone from laughing demurely at something one moment to passive aggressively reproaching Patton the next. Janus wondered in turn what Logan would think of him for his words, but figured the judgement wouldn’t be too harsh. Patton annoyed them both most of the time. “Or because you think we’re too inept to solve anything for Thomas?”

         Patton’s hands shook as they anxiously balled fists in the fabric of his shirt. Why would Janus say something so mean? His stomach twisted into intricate knots. Is that how Janus thought he felt? Did he really think Patton thought he was inept? His eyes stung as he stared at the ground. He couldn’t cry here, that’d just add more shame to this horrific, nightmarish moment.

         “N-neither, really,” Patton whispered, not trusting his voice to be any louder.

         “Why then?” Janus pressed insistently, staring Patton down with hands folded atop the haphazard papers. Logan shifted uncomfortably in his chair. This felt like a grotesque mockery of their court scenario the other day...

         Patton sniffled quietly, trying to keep from snotting all over himself. “I didn’t realize anything was wrong…” His voice pitched and broke with the effort he extended to keep from sobbing on the spot. How awful it was, to be misinterpreted this gravely, to not have the words to explain himself, to think Janus hated him for not knowing how to ask for forgiveness.

         Janus swallowed a lump in his throat and forced himself to roll his eyes. “Well that’s your mistake then,” He mumbled, sitting back in his chair. As he reached for his freshly poured glass of wine, Logan hesitantly pressed feather-light fingers against his sleeve.

         “I think that’s enough,” Logan whispered without much tact before looking back at Patton. “We were almost finished here. The kitchen is all yours in a few moments,” Janus scornfully met his serious gaze and soon clicked his tongue. This time, his eye roll was genuine.

         “Yeah sure,” Janus snarked to no one in particular as he stood. “Let’s leave it all to Patton. As usual.”

         “Thank you all for joining us today,” Logan began professionally, briskly meeting everyone’s eyes.

         “Yes, thank you all so much for taking the time out of your very busy schedules,” Janus snarked in good humor from his position next to Logan; an easel with a balanced poster board stood between them. The information on the board was utilitarian in design; flat colors with thick black lines. Altogether, it was very easy to read and especially clear that Janus, with all his dramatic flair, didn’t have a single hand involved in the writing of it.

         “Sure thing,” Patton interjected from his usual spot near the sliding glass door. He raised a finger like one would raise their hand in class. “But uh, I’m a little confused. What’s this all about?”

         “I’m glad you asked, Patton,” Logan began, immediately getting cut off by Virgil, who had shoved himself in the very corner of the stairway.

         “This is a waste of time, why am I here? I have nothing to do with stuff like this,” he gestured at the poster board, clearly not actually reading anything written there.

         “You’re here so we can get your input,” Logan gestured between Patton, Roman, and Remus, who seemed to be fidgeting with some wires behind the television, “Along with everyone else’s.”

         “I say let him go if he wants to,” Janus mumbled cynically, adjusting his capelet. “He’s not at all capable of providing helpful feedback.”

         “You mean I don’t feed your ego,” Virgil replied bitterly with a scowl. His mouth opened to continue but no sound was produced as Logan met his eyes expectantly. Virgil sighed and shifted stubbornly against the wall. “But fine. If Logan has something to say, I guess I’ll listen. For a bit.”

         “Thank you, Virgil,” Logan said, offering a small smile.

         At some point during Virgil and Janus’ bickering, the twins began to argue. The quarrel increased in volume and Janus cleared his throat.

         “Darling?” Janus called, brows and chin raised. Remus’ head poked up from behind the television; black, blue, and red wires were between his lips like thick spaghetti noodles. Roman crossed his arms with a loud huff and a dramatic roll of his eyes. “Care to clue me in on what’s going on over there?”

         Using his tongue, Remus maneuvered the wires to the right side of his mouth. “Roboat thinks he can stop me from eating these wires,” He explained with his mouth full. Janus scrunched his nose delicately and shook his head.

         “Leave their wires alone, dear,” Remus deflated and opened his lips, letting the spit-soaked things fall out and back onto the floor. Patton went visibly queasy at the display, pulling at the hem of his shirt nervously.

         “Okay,” Remus pouted exaggeratedly.

         Janus turned and smiled pleasantly at Logan, who adjusted his glasses with a hint of exasperation, though both Janus and Remus knew the irritation was only ever meant with fondness for the Duke.

         “If we’re ready to begin,” Logan started and everyone fell begrudgingly silent. “For several weeks now, Janus and I hav--”

         “Wait, wait, wait,” Virgil interrupted, sitting up again and waving his hands hastily. “You and Deceit have been talking for weeks now?” Patton chewed his lip and tried to look at anything but the inevitable fight currently breaking out.

         “Hey, yeah!” Roman agreed, pointing in Logan and Janus’ direction. Anger creased his expression. “I haven’t even seen that Sneaking Snob around here at all! Wouldn’t we have noticed if he was stalking around here like some B movie villain?”

         “Maybe you would have if you were more perceptive,” Janus mumbled to himself, looking busily down at his gloved hand as though to inspect his nails. Remus snickered and whispered an oooo, like Roman had just gotten called to the principal's office.

         “I’m plenty perceptive, thank you, Boa Bitch-stricter,” Roman dropped his arm heatedly.

         The bickering continued for several more minutes, insults flying towards Janus from both Virgil and Roman. He took them in stride, giving his own snide and sarcastic comments back that only served to fuel both of their tempers. Patton’s nerves grew with each passing second; he shifted on his feet, pushed his knuckles together, debated sinking out silently but figured he’d better not cause more tension than there already was. Eventually, Logan spoke up above the roar.

         “If you would all just listen,” He said, managing to gain everyone’s attention. “I promise we’ll be through in just a few minutes,” Everyone mumbled a respective, incoherent comment each as they shuffled and settled back to their original positions. Remus gave a cheer in support of Logan, which was followed by a whispered curse and apology as the latter gave a pointedly serious look.

         To a silent and mostly attentive room, Logan explained what he and Janus had been discussing and planning for the last two months. Thomas’ financial situation, they all agreed, wasn’t spectacular. To that end, Logan had asked the newly accepted Janus if he had any ideas or solutions. Despite Janus’ surprise at being asked for input (and being considered ‘accepted’ at this point), he offered to go over the issue in detail with Logan; something none of the others had done to date. Over late nights of tasteful wine and the occasional dinner beforehand, they had crunched numbers, mapped solutions, and thought up lists of pros and cons to a multitude of different fixes.

         Hearing this, gears clicked into place for Patton; the time he had stumbled on them late at night made a lot more sense now. Though even with the explanation, Patton’s stomach continued to knot painfully. He would really rather not recall that moment. It was filled with such shame and guilt and suspicion, he almost refused to believe it had even happened.

         “And so after all that,” Logan approached the end of his explanation, “We settled on a very reliable and doable solution; Thomas and his team should, by all means, open up a Patreon.”

         The audience’s eyes went wide as they stared at each other. The fact that the numbers had gone over their heads was clear on their faces, but the conclusion was easy enough to understand.

         “So wait,” Virgil said, sitting up slowly, “Basically, what you’re saying is, we should ask the viewers for money, for something Thomas already gives them for free?” He asked incredulously.

         “I don’t see why we couldn’t provide them with a little something extra every now and again,” Janus chimed in with a flourish of his fingers and an enigmatic grin. “The amount of things Thomas keeps hidden...phew, let me tell you,” His brows raised dramatically.

         “You’re considering airing out his dirty laundry? For money?” Roman interjected, tone fantastically offended. “Preposterous! Who do you think you are, treating Thomas’ classified secrets like they’re some measly prince being sold for ransom!”

         “Like that isn’t what our series is already based on?” Janus asked skeptically. Roman fell silent after a few sputtered and disjointed, rather useless words. “The point is,” Janus continued after a moment, meeting everyone’s eyes seriously now. “Thomas can’t afford to keep making videos if we don’t do something. I know you’re all against me, but you could at least extend the courtesy of considering it for Logan.”

         Again the room became hushed, but only for a moment before Remus decided to speak up.

         “It’s a great idea. Lolo! But I think he could make even more money if he did an OnlyFans!” Remus said too loudly for the room’s atmosphere. Patton flinched and grimaced distastefully, beginning to regret not making a bigger fuss about letting the Duke attend this meeting.

         “No one asked you,” Roman snarked, turning slightly to glare at his brother.

         “Actually,” Logan interrupted, “We did ask him, all of you,” He gestured with an open palm. “We’re asking you to consider it, as Janus said. No big decision needs to be made right now, even if I don’t quite understand what the hold up could possibly be,” Logan glanced at Janus with a hint of aggravation, “But something bad will happen if we don’t do something.”

         “Alright,” Patton said quietly, nodding. “I think we get it, so,” He looked sheepishly around the room; Roman and Virgil had perked up significantly at Patton’s words. They both clearly waited with expectant expressions for Morlaity’s opinion. The twisting in his stomach grew uncomfortably hot. “So,” He repeated before drawing in a breath through his teeth, “Why don’t we all take the night and think about it. We’ll talk more about it tomorrow after … after we’ve all had a little while to think.”

         “Very well,” Logan responded immediately, almost cheerfully -- at least cheerfully for Logan’s standards. “That’s quite alright with me, though please try to be quick about it.”

         Janus’ brow pinched subtly as he stared at Patton for a moment too long. Logan had called his name twice before the third reached him through his thoughts.

         “Janus?”

         “Oh, yes,” He cleared his throat and nodded shallowly a few times, “By all means, do drag this out.”

         Logan nodded, agreeing with the true intent of Janus’ sarcastic comment as he removed the poster board from the easel. As he collapsed the set up, Patton sunk out silently; the twins began fighting again and Virgil had somehow gotten pulled into their bickering. “That went well,” Logan summarized quietly to Janus, who was still staring distractedly at the space Patton usually occupied. “You were right unfortunately,” Logan paused, waiting for Janus to respond, only continuing when he realized no immediate retort was coming. “About them needing time to think about it?”

         “Huh? Oh, yes,” Janus mumbled. Logan frowned; did it not go over as well as he thought? “You have all this handled, correct?” Janus gestured vaguely at the room, taking steps away.

         “I suppose…?” Logan answered slowly. He started to say something else, but Janus had already disappeared.

         Janus knocked on Patton’s door three times, the sound muffled by his gloves. From his bed, Patton flinched and instinctually squeezed the pillow in his lap tighter.

         “B-be right there!” Patton called out, forcing his voice to sound cheerful. He inhaled a ragged breath and scrubbed at his face with dry hands. Please let it be Roman, please let it be Roman, please let i--

         ��H-hey Janus,” Patton greeted, swallowing his disappointment as he opened the door.

         “Hello, dear,” Janus’ voice matched the serious tone he had used in his closing statement at the meeting just a few minutes ago, though the edges of it were softened. Patton thought his brow was creased and wondered what he was worrying about. “How are you?” He asked, and Patton had a hard time believing the question was genuine.

         “Oh, I’m fine!” Patton said and Janus’ mouth watered. “Was just getting ready for bed,” he gestured behind him with a thumb and hoped that was enough to deter Janus from any kind of conversation. “S-so if you really don’t mind,” He continued, taking a half step back and starting to close the door slowly. “I sure am wiped from that meeting,” Patton forced a yawn.

         “I know you’re lying,” Janus said pointedly, tone deliberate and unamused as he reached a hand to stop the door in its tracks.

         Patton frowned, almost pouting as he stared at the floor. Janus’ eyes were too severe just then, and meeting them made his chest hurt. The silence dragged on as Patton found himself in an impossible situation; Janus knew he wasn’t okay, but that didn’t imply he was concerned enough to hear what was on his mind. Even if Janus did want to know, Patton wasn’t sure he could manage to sound coherent. To make matters worse, if all that weren’t true and he did get his feelings across to Janus, they felt silly and inconsequential in the face of Logan and Janus’ idea. They spoke so surely, so convincingly, and all Patton had was … feelings.

         “Patton,” Janus said softly, letting his hand fall from the door, “How are you?” He asked again, sounding more insistent.

         “I’m,” Patton started to repeat himself again but looked up to see Janus’ face. He wore such a distressed expression, Patton almost wanted to ask if he was okay. “I’m,” He began again, voice shaking as he clutched his shirt. “I’m scared,” Patton admitted in a whisper after a long pause.

         Janus’ posture relaxed with a quiet sigh. He remained silent, knowing Patton well enough to predict that he would continue of his own accord now that the dam was open.

         “I’m scared that I’m doing the wrong thing, but I’m … I’m not even sure what I’m doing. I’m scared that the others will hate me if I … If I,” Patton swallowed, “If I start letting you help again. B-but I’m also scared that,” His voice quickened, gaining speed like a rushing torrent of unstoppable water. “If I don’t let you help, I’ll just keep hurting Thomas. I’m scared that Virgil will lose himself again and leave us, I’m scared that Roman won’t be able to help Thomas if--if Remus is around, I’m terrified that Remus will hurt Thomas, and,” Patton inhaled a ragged breath. When he continued, his voice was a slow whisper again. “I’m scared of you, of--of not knowing how much selfishness is just right. I know you don’t want to hurt Thomas, I do, but …” He looked up with teary eyes finally, meeting Janus’ patient gaze. “But what if we get it wrong?”

         “Then we’ll fix it and get it right together,” Janus replied instantly, like he knew exactly where Patton’s words were going to end up. “Like we always have,” He affirmed calmly, his tone and expression implying that, while this conclusion was obvious, Janus didn’t mind saying it as often Patton needed to hear it.

         Patton gasped and the tears in his eyes fell. Hastily he reached up to brush them away with mumbled apologies. Janus rolled his eyes and muttered a sarcastically impatient, “Come here,” as he reached to hug Patton with both arms.

         “Just because you’ve done it alone all this time doesn’t mean you should continue to, darling,” he said as Patton gripped the front of Janus’ shirt, letting himself be selfishly consoled, for just a second he told himself. “You can rely on me, that’s all I’ve been trying to say,” He chastised gently. “The others will get used to it again. Thomas isn’t giving them much of a choice on that one,” His tone gained a humored edge and Patton whined softly. Janus chuckled and gave him a final squeeze before gently pushing him away with hands on his upper arms. “As for everything else,” He continued as Patton sniffled, “We’ll figure it out,” Janus said nonchalantly, with a fond smile.

         “Together?” Patton whispered, his voice cracking.

         “Together.”

Chapter One || Chapter Two

[bornfromchalk]

I feel like I should explain the whole ‘blorbo’ situation to you… I had to do a little bit of research but I don’t mind if it at least means a little less being lost on this site for both of us.

The term blorbo is a newer term on here and it came from a post talking about how someone can make a more generic post about a fandom- like talking about the character but not naming them in the post but in the tags? Anyways, they were talking about how people bring their own favorite characters from entirety different shows and make it about that character instead of the original poster’s character? Blorbo I’m guessing is a random word they made up for this but it stick and now blorbo essentially translates to a character someone deeply loves or appreciates and will bring up to a point of being potentially annoying. For example, let’s say I deeply like this one character from A Legend of Sword and wouldn’t stop bringing them up, or somehow the most random of things makes me think of that character (like rice or something, I’m making stuff up here)- that I guess could be my blorbo.

Eeby deeby is a replacement term for a strange destination of some kind. That one came from some post about going up an elevator, but having no idea which floor because the screen eeby deeby. Some reason it’s implied they’re going to a purgatory of some kind as denoted by ‘eeby deeby’ which is from what I’ve read is supposed to be like a robot sound. I think that one gained traction because it tied into the superhell joke that a lot of supernatural fans were making when two dudes confessed to liking each other in the show and one got killed pretty much right after and went to the empty- aka, according to fandom, is superhell. I don’t know, I didn’t watch the show.

Glup Shitto apparently is a little joke to jab at the Star Wars fandom for how the names of a lot of the characters sound like gibberish. But also it’s also used as a fake name for a returning character in the series (usually the more obscure parts of the media like a small book trilogy rather than the mainstream films) and praised by hardcore fans but practically unknown to those who are more in the mainstream media of that universe rather than the more obscure portions. It picked up more speed when a new show for the franchise was released that was pretty mainstream brought back a lot of more obscure characters from like the animated shows aimed at a more older kid to young teenage audience.

Plinko horse apparently came from a video of a series of animations. The animations were being used as a visual on how things are projected to move and interact I suppose? Plinko horse was specifically from the Real Time Collision section, with a horse being dropped through a plinko-like board and going through the pegs, biting different ones on the way down. Apparently it made rounds on other sites first (https://youtu.be/Slt4z55PBhI, this is apparently a catalyst for its popularity). Gifs were made and those all had jokes made about them and it just kinda spread. Somehow this amuses us and it’s just now a thing.

Still no idea what scrunglo means, but if I find that one out, I’ll tell you! Hopefully some of this explains a little about tumblr slang.

Ah... you didn't have to go that far for my sake. I am grateful as always.

I think I understand now. So blorbo is somebody's favorite character one can't stop thinking of. And the word is just a placeholder for their name as the maker of the original post wanted to make a statement about the phenomenon without going into a specific fandom or character. It is actually quite smart. This is, essentially, how new words are introduced to a language.

Well, eeby deeby is a... quite funny sound I would say. That being interpreted as "superhell" however, is a little peculiar. Though the contrast itself between the funny and the serious sounding might be exactly what's making the comparison comedic. That, and the timelines coinciding with the surgence of each meme, that is a recipe for an internet gag indeed.

Glup Shitto... another combination of comedic sounds and inside knowledge of a certain fandom. I'm starting to see a pattern here.

The plinko horse seems to be an excellent demonstration in movement, velocity and contact. Why they chose a horse as the subject... might not be relevant to the experiment itself.

Thank you for this holy grail of information once again. This helped me understand certain things and aided me in forming hypotheses about internet culture.

~Albedo

[soukokuwu]

➤ genre: angst

➤ pairing: dazai x bestfriend!reader

➤ synopsis: dazai wishes he could meet you all over again.

➤ warnings: implied death, suicide

➤ word count: 1.7k

➤ a/n: this is just me indulging myself because of recent events. completely unedited so if there’re any mistakes please forgive me. might edit this next time into a better piece, if i can bring myself to revisit.

Wandering

Insanity and death were the angels that surrounded Dazai Osamu’s cradle and followed him through life. Insanity was in each choice he made while death lived in everyone around him. But a most foreign concept to the man is hope. Yet it brimmed the brightest in you.

This burned a desire in him, but same as anything else, if there was a fire, there would always be the possibility of it burning to ashes. And this did. But he will never make the same mistake again. That much Dazai is sure of. Because it’s simple math.

The more you have, the more you have to lose.

It’s easy to forget what loss feels like when you have it all. He never forgot what he lost, how could he? He remembers Odasaku clear as day — but the feeling? It’s easy to bury it under the happiness one feels in the moment. But emotions can resurface easily, just like the aftershocks of an earthquake.

Friends have a special place in his heart. There’s not many people he would call a ‘friend’ at all in the first place. He doesn’t use the word lightly, doesn’t throw it around like most people do. No, if he ever called you a friend, he meant it.

And as he sat alone in your room, all he could think of was everything you couldn’t do anymore; everything that he couldn’t have.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He remembered when he first met you.

You weren’t particularly striking, you weren’t the prettiest girl in the room — or at least he thought so at the time. But you had the most infectious smile. Everytime you laughed it was like people wanted to know you, to get close to you. It was a certain quality you had that Dazai admired, because he fell for it too.

Dazai might not have felt so inclined to get to know you that day, but he sure was glad he did. Because you ended up meaning a lot more to him than he bargained for. It was the slow kind of progress, the subtlety of every small thing that he grew to like, the one where he didn’t even feel a thing, but yet it’s embedded in him anyway.

You were so easy to like, and it’s not because you’re a people-pleaser — you certainly weren’t. Until now, if you asked him why, he couldn’t put it to words. You just were.

It wasn’t love at first sight. Dazai doesn’t think that exists. But even if it did, he thinks whatever he saw in you that day was even greater. It wasn’t the shallow kind of love that he envisioned people attached to the idiom. It meant much more than that, a way deeper connection that he couldn’t explain.

Dazai Osamu doesn’t throw the word ‘friend’ out so casually.

But he called you a friend within days of meeting you. And he wished he could find the rationale behind it. Maybe then he could find another you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He remembered never regretting it.

Whenever he did anything unreasonable, questionable, or even something outright wrong — you stood by him. What was it? What was the reason behind that unconditional support you gave him? He tried so hard to push you away, but you never failed him. You were always there, like a lifebuoy at sea, like the lighthouse guiding him to shore.

And he treasured you. So much. Which was why he never hid himself from you, always stripped away all his masks when he was alone with you. You were more than aware of his suicidal tendencies and his rather questionable coping methods. But you never had to say a thing. You were just there for him. And just like that, you made him want to live. Just a little. But that’s further than anyone else had made it.

Not only did he strip his masks. He had let you see him. Every single inch of him. The man beneath the bandages. Both the scars hidden under the wraps as well as the reasons why he was the way he was. The good and the bad. Dazai Osamu had let you in completely. You were such an unlikely happening, yet there you were.

He doesn’t throw the word ‘friend’ out so casually.

But it was at that moment that he ascertained — you were his best friend.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He remembered you happy.

Dazai wasn’t a terribly fun person to be around. He had his comedic moments, yes. But he didn’t have a lot of free time, or when he did he preferred to stay in. He didn’t spend much time with you outside of having the occasional dinner together. But god, he wished he had.

He just can’t help but remember the way your face would light up when he actually wanted to hang out some place other than either of your homes. Dazai knew you were a shut-in, so he didn’t bother asking if you went anywhere. He knew the answer already anyway.

You liked taking long walks in the park, just sitting and enjoying the wind, soaking in the scenery. Sometimes you got tired so easily you’d pester him to carry you. He didn’t give in, of course.

“Come on, Dazai, please?”

Dazai remembered every infliction in your tone. He remembered how sweet you sounded. He even remembered the way you pouted when he refused.

He wish he hadn’t.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He remembered the unexpectedness of it all.

Dazai thought it was something normal, nothing too worrisome. But it was black masquerading as a dark grey. The hope he carried was fleeting.

Your lids seemed heavier than usual, your movements just a tad slower than they should be. Dazai notices all of this, but what he’s wondering is do you? A string of aimless assurances escapes your lips when he voiced his concerns.

Then you started out just losing weight — he thought you were just feeling under the weather, nothing more nothing less. Your appetite got better, and so he felt relief. You even started gaining weight, you looked vibrant still, with enough energy to entertain Dazai and his antics again, enough to be able to chase after him when he splashed some water at you while you were walking by the fountain in the park.

Yeah, it‘s hard to envision, isn’t it? Dazai and those cute, warm moments, those small gestures. But that’s exactly what you were capable of bringing out of him. There existed in him a warmth he never knew there was. You not only made him realise that, but you managed to project it out of him.

Dazai didn’t completely hate it. The warmth he exuded made him feel like he was just a little bit more human than he thought. A little more vulnerable (that was the part he hated), but also... a little more like you.

And he remembered looking at you as you chased him — how could anything like you be remotely bad? In that moment, he felt like he had everything. A life, a job, a house and a home in you, his best friend. Dazai didn’t need lovers. Lovers came and went. None of them could capture his heart. Yet you did. And you did it without any of the romance, you did it purely because you were being unequivocally yourself.

Then in that moment he realised — you were beautiful. Just the slow kind, the kind that grew on you, the one you never expected coming. And when it hits you, it hits you like the waves hit the sand — it was here to stay, it would be weird without it.

But he also remembered you falling, and his heart along with you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He remembered everything.

In the dining room where you’d eat takeout together and you’d pester Dazai for some of his food. The way you two squabbled about it, with Dazai refusing because “if you liked it you should’ve ordered it for yourself too.” But then you’d be able to snatch it from right under his nose anyway. He let you think it was your skill, but he purposely let you have it. He liked to see that happy little grin of yours when you thought you were so sly.

In the living room where you’d watch shows together when the two of you were bored enough. Sometimes you’d fall asleep on his shoulder and Dazai would be too scared to move; he didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful too.

In the bathroom where Dazai would sloppily put together a bath for you when you were feeling sick. He didn’t know a thing about drawing a bath, but he tried, and you always stifled a laugh at how mediocre it was.

In the bedroom where he’d accompany you when you fell really ill. He’d wait and sit by your bedside every night, talking to you until you fell asleep. It didn’t take long though, because you were so exhausted from nothing at all that you could only stay awake for five minutes tops.

But now all he can think of is the fact that no one would be arguing with him to get a piece of his food, that there’s no one to provide his shoulder for, no one to try and draw baths for, and the missing sound of your breathing as you drifted off into sleep.

There was no one else to try for.

Dazai Osamu wishes he could say you were a mistake. But you aren’t. You were the best thing that ever happened to him, but you were also the most devastating loss dealt to him. You deserved better. Much better.

He doesn’t throw the word ‘friend’ out so casually.

But you still are his best friend, even in death — that you shall remain. And the thing about mistakes is that more often than not, there’s something to learn from it. You aren’t a mistake and never will be, but one decision is made here:

Dazai Osamu will never replace you, will never get close to anyone again.

He doesn’t think he’ll be able to take another loss. Besides, he can’t lose if there’s nothing left to be taken from him. All he hopes for is that wherever you are, you don’t feel lonely anymore and that some day, he will find your soul again.

You had helped him so much when you were alive. But as he looks at the blade in his hand, he wonders. If there was an afterlife, will you be disappointed if he does this? Rationality be damned as he points the tip of the blade to his wrist.

I want to be with you again.

tags: @yokelish​ @gogolparadise​ @fyowyn-writes​

[cauldronofmorning]

Okay so.... I've encountered your tags about "the talking scene between trapper and hawk in dr pierce and dr hyde the stuttering the grabbing the not blinking how another of hawk's coping methods has bitten the dust#trapper being soft parental but annoyed and how he needs to check out while hawkeye needs to save the entire world"... if you have time, Go off! I would love that 2000 word essay and your opinions.

It’s a bit of a mess and would probably get a C- if I handed it in, but! Dr Pierce and Dr Hyde and how it shows the difference between Hawkeye’s and Trapper’s coping methods.

Context! Alan Alda wrote the episode, mental health is important to him (not to psychoanalyze an actor, but he had depression before the show and his mom was schizophrenic) and there’s a quote on how Hawkeye didn’t actually change much in the eleven years, just had his coping methods beaten down.

So throughout season one, Hawkeye and Trapper have mostly been ignoring the trauma of a war. Hawkeye naturally ended a movie with a speech about propaganda (Yankee Doodle Doctor) and Tommy tells them (Sometimes You Hear The Bullet) about a kid who should have been the blonde hero in a war movie actually dying and not hearing a bullet, forcing them to actually quietly think about it. But for the most part, they can distract themselves with booze, pranks and women, and Hawkeye can still draw a straight line between his tenuous sanity pre-war and the place he’s in.

There’s also two important episodes in season two before Dr Pierce and Dr Hyde, that make the war more personal for both of them. The first is Radar’s Report, where a scared prisoner contaminates Trapper’s patient by knocking the blood over. Trapper’s sulkier throughout the episode, obsessed with how it could have been okay if it weren’t for that incident, and less indulging of Hawkeye’s girl of the week problem. His patient doesn’t make it, and he makes a beeline to the POW’s tent, maybe would have killed him if Hawkeye hadn’t bought him back to reality. “That’s not what we’re about.”

The second is For The Good Of The Outfit. This one has a village bombed by American military and Hawkeye/Trapper run afoul of previously decent sounding generals trying to shut them up from talking about it, including passive aggressive threats to send them to the front, and specifically to Hawkeye, intercepting letters to his dad. It’s okay by the end of the episode, but he’s still livid when he finds this out.

In comes Dr Pierce and Dr Hyde. The episode starts with Hawkeye already slightly dissociated from a long shift, thinking it hasn’t ended, and Trapper having to gently take him by the arm and guiding him out of the OR, telling him he was taking the chest cases “like he was their only hope”. Hawkeye wanting to save everyone keeps popping up throughout the episode; here, when he’s stumbling into Henry and his ego filtered through deprivation making him think he’s the only one who can do chest cases, the scene I’m getting to, and the end where Trapper and Henry sum him up.

As much as Trapper is “let’s get drunk to deal, okay?” kind of comfort in comparison to BJ who can actually talk about emotions, if not necessarily knowing the best way to deal with them (Hawkeye has a type and it’s repressed blondes), he’s soft with Hawkeye – gentle touches, firmly telling him to go to sleep, indulging that chopper noise is just thunder – until he figures the best way to get his friend to rest is to sedate him behind his back.

The thing with Trapper is that while he might be a bad husband, cheating on his wife with no shame (but he keeps bringing up that Hawkeye is more perverted so that might make it easier for him to deal with, see the couple of times he glares at Hawk for flirting with Henry/a male patient, Divided We Stand, The Trial Of Henry Blake, Check Up, Life With Father, Adam’s Ribs), he’s a good father who ran into a minefield for Kim and tried to go AWOL for Cathy and Becky. That’s not to say he always treats Hawkeye like a child, that would be weird considering how much flirting they do, but when the other man is manic or badly affected, Trapper’s first instinct is to be parental.

After Hawkeye in his doubletalky way admits to Radar he’s compulsive and psychotic (sidenote:  his symptoms of strong emotions, not being able to think clearly and too many spirals to name actually bear that diagnosis out, instead of just using the word when one thinks another is behaving badly), he wanders around the camp like a ghost, making notes about corpsmen with guns and nurses checking patients in post-op.

As Hawkeye often does, whenever he finds something out, or thinks he has in this instance, he has to tell his live-in boyfriend of the season immediately, and if he can’t sleep then neither can anyone else. He sits on Trapper’s bed, extremely close and not blinking, and jostles him awake. Already Trapper’s slightly panicky, as no matter what he says about being the mellow one, any time there’s shouting or loud noise in the swamp, he always wakes up with a start. Even when he sees it’s Hawkeye it takes him a few seconds to process and get back into his role.

Hawkeye’s very sad and very quiet. For the past seven minutes, even though he’s dissociated, exhausted and not doing well, he’s still trying to do his normal thing of turning his anger sideways and being snarky or being a clown bottom for the gaggle of nurses. Going back to one of Trapper’s good qualities is that he’s a decent parent, Hawkeye can regress emotionally into being like a ten year old (incidentally, the age when he had the most trauma pre-Korea, with Billy, his mom dying, guilt over not wanting dad to remarry and at some point losing his virginity), both for funny like in Picture This and for sadness.

So he’s finally noticed that he’s in a war zone and he’s too tired to make jokes about it or distract himself from it. Trapper already sounds frustrated but still listens, telling him to go bed before he drives himself crazy. There’s been a few takes that Trapper would get sick of later Hawkeye, and given how much they really can’t talk to each other that often, even just a mention of Hawkeye’s will when he has to go to the front makes Trapper shut down and Hawkeye cover with a joke, that’s probably true. They’re both messes, but for now Trapper can give Hawkeye someone to lean on.

“If I thought I could stop it just by going to sleep, don’t you think I would try?” Hawkeye does a twitch of the head, still unblinking, and that’s just really asking Trapper to understand and take him seriously. Also the wording, he’s not saying he can stop thinking about it just by going to sleep, or stop feeling anything just by closing his eyes, although both of those are implied. He makes it very clear later on (Letters, Preventive Medicine, Blood Brothers) that he feels like he’s as bad as the war – god and martyr complex combined – and if he can’t fight against/blame everything on that then it’s time for some self loathing.

Trapper does actually pay attention and gives him some advice. Definitely not great advice, but advice nonetheless, to close his eyes when things get unbearable, and to keep checking out when it keeps happening. This can’t work for Hawkeye, who’s had a guilt complex ever since he was a child, but it’s how Trapper copes. The next episode when Kim’s mother turns up for the boy, after a time of being actually open, he goes right to dismissive snark. Plus in season three’s Mad Dogs and Servicemen, another one on how differently Trapper and Hawkeye deal with things, he shrugs that he pretends he’s not there all day along.

Hawkeye’s stuttering a bit at this point. Words are important to him, it’s why you should probably leave him a note even if you’re a man who 1) wants to forget about Korea as soon as he arrives in Boston but won’t 2) wants desperately to believe he’s straight but isn’t 3) cares through physical touch and can’t think of what to say for seventy two hours. Wordplay is important to him too, and he admits to Sidney in the finale that his brain thinks too fast. Obviously exhaustion is going to put his brain and mouth out of sync, and considering how he sounds like he’s going to cry in the mess tent when he can’t even get words out to Frank Burns, it makes him all that more helpless.

“Somebody, and it wasn’t you or me, started this war.” It’s the “whoever the them, we were always us” of it all. It’ll be more important in the third season, and what happens in Welcome To Korea, but Hawkeye has taken it for granted that he and Trapper will stay co-dependent no matter what happens or who they come up against or how their time is running out. Much how he probably didn’t tell Trapper about the abandonment trauma he’s suffered before, Trapper always reassures him to come back soon, or no charge for leaning on him, or it isn’t a Christmas goodbye, and doesn’t want to share real feelings.

Beyond that scene, with Hawkeye dragging himself off to be a hero, assume that everyone who tries to take care of him really just wants to sleep with him, and cry while singing, Trapper tries to sedate him while he’s not looking. He’s tried being parental, he’s tried the repression advice, it’s time to be passive aggressive for Hawkeye’s own good. Or what he thinks is Hawkeye’s own good. It’s not especially great on Trapper’s part, but a similar thing happens reversed in Mail Call, where a drunk Trapper tries to go AWOL and as soon as he’s distracted laughing at Frank, Hawkeye locks his bag away so Trapper won’t be tempted again. Both of them are repressed messes who can’t really talk to each other.

When that sedation attempt ends up in Frank falling over, Trapper goes to Henry to be the worried macho boyfriend. Like with the only comedic dancing allowed and not the time in Officers Only when a genuine offer gets turned down, being protective over Hawkeye where he can hear can only happen when it’s for fun/likely no real danger.

At the end, Trapper and Henry sit by Hawkeye’s bed when he’s finally asleep and talk about him. Kindly, but they know he’s unstable with a hero complex. Like Mulcahy said in season eleven, the camp has a lot of experience with not dealing with reality, and even Trapper says in Iron Guts Kelly that one man’s reality is another man’s fantasy. Nobody has the capability to talk about this yet, and Sidney and Hawkeye only really become friends in O.R. Hawkeye will wake up and he and Trapper will pretend this never happened.

When Adam’s Ribs comes around, and Hawkeye has a manic episode over needing to eat something that isn’t liver or fish, Trapper and Henry are again the ones looking after him, comparing him to their kids and Trapper in the background both snarking over Hawkeye’s slippage in sanity and looking out for him. It’s not as quite high stakes as Dr Pierce and Dr Hyde, but they’re still worried about him.

To end this out, Trapper and Hawkeye and mental health is a fun thing to look at. Neither of them are particularly emotionally intelligent yet, Hawkeye just kind of a self absorbed mess and Trapper finding it easier to be a reassuring rock and keep his own struggling to himself, and they keep things from each other while also taking past each other, but they comfort each other with jokes and distractions that only they can understand. The repressed clowns are trying, even if it does all end with a borrowed kiss and only just barely missing each other.

[abigailnussbaum]

The Watch 1x01 - 1x02

The first two episodes of BBC America’s The Watch aired this weekend, and I’ve seen basically zero discussion of them on my twitter and tumblr feeds. Which I assume is because most of the people I follow are Pratchett fans who have been horrified by the press releases and the trailer (or, for that matter, the lackluster reviews) and decided to write the show off before it even started airing. To be clear, this is an entirely reasonable approach, but there’s nothing else on right now and I was bored.

Quick verdict? It’s not dire, but also not so interesting that you’d feel compelled to keep going with it. In fact, my most powerful reaction after the first two episodes is puzzlement - I can’t understand who the intended audience for this show is. The thinking seems to have been “everyone will be interested in a brash, in your face, rudely comedic fantasy cop show!” And maybe that’s true, but The Watch isn’t particularly brash, in your face, or even that comedic, so what’s left are fans of the genre(s), who are reasonably spoiled for choice right now (the show The Watch most closely resembles is Carnival Row, which is not amazing but still has a greater depth of emotion and a more interesting world). Why anyone would go out of their way to watch a show that seems to be working so hard to stamp out anything original about itself is a question the creators don’t seem to have asked themselves.

More thoughts below the cut.

First, something positive: I quite like the look of the show. There was obviously a lot of pressure from previous adaptations, not to mention the famous illustrations associated with the books, to strike out in an original direction, and I think the show really found one. Instead of fantasized-medieval-through-Victorian, The Watch’s Ankh Morpork combines those period and genre elements with modern ones. So The Mended Drum is now a seedy nightclub with DJ lighting and an open mike stage, and the city’s walls are covered with graffiti tags. The more distinctive settings - the Patrician’s palace, the Unseen University library - are not as interesting, possibly because the budget wouldn’t stretch to make them look really spectacular. But the core approach of the series, that Ankh Morpork is an old but modern city where there are also a lot of fantasy elements, is a fun and refreshing one.

Second, despite all the prevarication and spin in the run-up to the show, this is a Pratchett adaptation. It isn’t merely “inspired by” Pratchett’s novels, as the show’s title screen insists. It isn’t taking Pratchett’s ideas and making its own things with them. I can only assume that these claims were made in response to the backlash against stuff like “Sybil Ramkin, young, hot vigilante”. But despite changes like that, this is actually a fairly straightforward adaptation of Guards! Guards!, which also incorporates elements from Night Watch, plus some rather deep cuts from the rest of the Discworld corpus (the second episode, for example, implies that the ultimate villains of the series are the Auditors of Reality). So yeah, The Watch doesn’t have the excuse of being its own thing. It is a Discworld adaptation, but a bad one, that fails to understand a lot of fundamental thing about the world and the characters.

Third, I think the thing that most strikes about the show is how low-energy it feels. Despite billing itself as something outrageous, and despite some work on the visual front (and in Richard Dormer’s Jack Sparrow-esque performance as Vimes), the show itself feels almost bland. You see this in particular when it comes to the humor. It’s not that The Watch isn’t trying to be funny. There are jokes, and a few of them - mostly the ones original to the series - are mildly amusing. But when it comes to Pratchett’s own humor, the show simply has the actors deliver the gags and references in the most low-key way, and unsurprisingly the result is that hardly any of it lands.

Now, to be fair, this has been a problem with Pratchett adaptations since the 90s. Most of Pratchett’s humor is based in what his third-person narrator tells us about the world, and is hard to convey in a dramatic presentation (Good Omens tried to solve this problem by putting a lot of Pratchett’s narration in its voiceover, with only limited success). But even the dialogue-based jokes are so arch and stagey, that to deliver them successfully would require committing to a lot of very specific, demanding choices from the actors and writers (off the top of my head, the only show that even comes close to that kind of humor is Brooklyn Nine-Nine). It would have to be a high-concept, meticulously executed sitcom, whereas most Pratchett adaptations have been fantasy dramas with jokes. 

So it’s not entirely The Watch’s fault that it isn’t managing to convey the zany energy of Pratchett’s novels, but at the same time, it also clearly isn’t trying to. Its attitude seems to be that simply the existence of things like troll cops or assassins’ guilds who leave a receipt are funny in their own right. And sure, even in a media landscape in which fantasy has been mainstreamed by Harry Potter, the Lord of the Rings movies, and Game of Thrones, not a lot of fantasy settings have an orangutan librarian who only says “ook”. But what makes The Librarian funny isn’t that he’s a librarian who is an orangutan. It’s that he’s a librarian who is an orangutan who still behaves exactly like a librarian (while also doing ape things like swinging from the bookshelves and eating bananas), and that “ook” can convey almost any concept in existence. The Watch doesn’t seem to realize this. It seems to be assuming that just putting that stuff on screen, or parroting Pratchett’s lines, will be hilarious in and of itself, while leaving out a lot of the specificity of setting, character, and tone that made the books sing.

You see this also in how it handles its characters. Everyone fixated on Lady Sybil when the promos came out, because that’s the most egregious misreading of the original (and rooted in the most boring assumptions about what audiences want and will respond to). But it’s everywhere. Take Carrot, for example. In the books, Carrot is fascinating because he’s never entirely what you take him for. He’s innocent, but not naive. Principled, but not a zealot. A goody-two-shoes, but not a prig. He’s always a lot smarter than you think he is, and most importantly, he genuinely likes and is interested in people. 

The Watch delivers none of this, and instead makes Carrot your basic hothead rookie who just wants to take down bad guys and sees the more seasoned, cynical officers who keep trying to slow him down as hopelessly corrupted. There’s none of Carrot’s openness, or his genuine love of the city, in this character. Instead he’s sullen and judgmental. And look, we could have a long conversation about which one of these characters is more useful to us and our ongoing conversation about policing (as well as a much shorter conversation about which one of them is truer to the ideas Pratchett was trying to convey about policing). But what feels more important to me, when coming to evaluate a new series that is trying to make an argument for why you should keep watching it, is the simple fact that there are a million places where you could find a character like The Watch’s Carrot, and hardly anywhere where you could find one like Pratchett’s. 

Again and again, it feels as if, in the pursuit of what it thinks of as outrageous, risk-taking storytelling, The Watch jettisons the unique characters from the books and replaces them with ones that we’ve seen a million times before. Angua in the books is kind of neurotic, and extremely thoughtful about the way her condition can incline her to see other people as objects to be used and consumed (which Pratchett later develops into an aspect of his theme of monsters-as-aristocrats). In the show, she’s obsessed with how her lycanthropy makes her “the real monster”. Oh boy, I’ve never seen a werewolf worry about being a monster before! I’ve never seen a scene where they send their friends away just as they’re about to transform! This is cutting edge stuff, I tell you. And while we’re on the subject, it gives me no pleasure to report that Anna Chancellor as Patrician Vetinari is thoroughly meh, because no effort has been taken to convey the character’s intelligence, near-omniscience, and constant scheming. Vimes is intimidated by her because she’s his boss and she’s posh, not because of anything specific to her. She feels almost identical to a million other posh rulers whose job it is to infodump to and threaten scrappy, working class heroes.

Which brings me back to my original observation: that I do not get who this show is for. It’s not for Pratchett fans, because it deliberately drops a great deal of what made his writing and characters special in favor of the most generic, predictable choices. But I can’t help but feel that anyone who is into this sort of extremely familiar cop story will be put off by the dragons and the wizards and the orangutan librarian, not to mention Dormer’s gurning performance. The whole thing is almost fascinating to watch - a work that clearly believes itself to be boundary-pushing and different, when really it’s just dull but with dragons.

[fordarkisthesuede]

The Tolls of Justice: the Tarot, Name Meanings, and More!

Gentlepeople…

BEHOLD!

All the tarot-aligned hints! All the future foretellings! All the silly references! :) Everything you might have overlooked is here for you easy-to-read pleasure!

Naturally, there be spoilers a-plenty ahead for Batman the TellTale Series: The Tolls of Justice, so if you haven't read it (or maybe you're thinking about reading it, or this is your first time hearing about it), I'd advise waiting until you're done with each chapter to read through the sections. You can either click the link and be redirected to Ao3, or look through my tumblr tag #ttoj!

*One forwarding note: the tarot references build slowly in this story, and I only use the traditional Major & Minor Arcana. You'll see a lot of jokes and name-type references before we get to the tarot. I also simplified the numerics, but they're often displayed as roman numerals on cards, hint hint.

Prologue

gang member "Four Ears" - a very very off-the-collar reference to the line "Listen up, four-ears!" from J-Men Forever; in context, it was an off-shoot of the insult "four-eyes" but for music taste, also implying the person's taste was "square".

gang member "Muddy Nye" - his name can be boiled down to "muddy river". It works as an allusion to the messy, unclear case ahead of Bruce and the Batfam, but also as a hint to Clayface, who acted as Muddy in his first sighting of the story.

"Sunset" - a reference to everyone's favorite vampire series to pick on, the Twilight series; back when it was at the height of it's popularity, some drug dealers sold heroin marketed towards the crowd based off it's terrible and unfortunately iconic(?) line from Edward Cullen, "You're my own personal brand of heroin"…hence why the drug of choice BM is shipping here is heroin. Essentially, this plot setup is one big joke.

"FIGS" - a reference to POP! vinyls, hence the capitalized name and spiky word balloon on the packages.

"Gray Ghost [memorabilia]" - one of my (and everyone else's) favorite BtAS episodes, which proves definitively that Bruce Wayne | Batman is not only a Huge Nerd™, but also a massive collector of normal fandom things. (Do you think he troughs through blogs and fanwikis…? What am I saying, of course he does. He edits them.)

gang members "Jack Whendleham and Kirby Noltz" - nod to Jack Kirby, comic artist extraordinaire!

Ch.1: A Different Ceiling

[chapter title] - John does not wake up in Arkham at the start of the story, hence waking up to a different ceiling. He also hits different limitations on what he can do, so it's also a different kind of "ceiling". (Like the term "the glass ceiling", the invisible barrier a demographic hits in a hierarchy.)

St. Dymphna New Life Home - named after Saint Dymphna, the patron saint of mental illness. There's no "'s" at the end because I saw other clinics named after Saints didn't use the possessive form when referencing them.

The Lucky Hotel - an oxymoron, really; the unluckiest place to get stuck at with it's seedy history, but also the place where John "gets lucky"…in a couple of different ways!

Stitched Up Alterations - a heavy nod to the wonderful batjokesy line from S2, "We're two threads in the same stitch". It's pretty deeply ingrained in fanon (and technically canon, if you go with The Dark Knight) that Joker makes his own clothes, hence Batman rarely finding him through his tailor. Since John's thrifty and clearly made his original Joker outfit(s), I piggybacked off it as a legit skill to give him. I mean, come on, the guy is always so stylish! And you're really going to look at me and say he didn't alter his thrifted shirts and vests to fit his sleek frame? Puh-leeease.

13th Street - 13 is a traditionally unlucky number in western culture; hence the "Lucky Hotel" there having a bloody history, along with a failed, closed casino nearby.

Corazón gang - okay, I admit…I'm still a weeb at heart. It's a One Piece reference. Corazon was one of the few post-timeskip new characters I really liked; his name is Spanish for "heart", and he sported a heart motif. Like the gang in this story, he also died before the start of the main storyline.

Ch. 2: Face Values

[chapter title] - A reference to the phrase "not taking things at face value", which is very evident in this story. Also doubles as a rather loose reference to the upcoming Tarot cards.

Sebastian Overfield - The name Sebastian means "from Sebaste", as is derived from the Greek word sebastos ("venerable", someone who has a lot of respect). Overfield of course is "over" and "field", implying the family is on a high hill overlooking/overseeing/maintaining a certain field. As Seb is a reverend, this name is well-fit for him.

orange rose [gift from John] - means "passion" in the language of flowers, and can allude to fascination; this can be taken platonically or romantically…but it's definitely romantic when it's coming from John.

blue iris [gift from John] - means "faith and hope" in the language of flowers, and sometimes are associated with royalty; an allusion to Batman/Bruce's overall symbolism in the eyes of Gotham…and John.

Chandis [ship, circa Prologue] - A reference to Chandi | Chandika, the Hindu deity; the short version of their story is that they are a demon slayer, known to be angry and passionate, wield multiple weapons, and ride a lion. And who was on the ship? Hmm…

Ch. 3: Ink Trails

[chapter title] - A reference to the Alterations' claim slip John finds, which ends up leading back to the Court of Owls. It doubles as a reference to the mask tattoo/clue on Ian 'Nito'.

Faith Ackart - "Ackart" is a variant of "ackhart", derived from "ekkehard", which we can say roughly means "brave/hardy". The name "faith" and "hardy" together is another very subtle clue for the audience towards the villains' motives. (Well, I say that, but it was really more of a joke-clue for me to giggle at. And it makes a good reporter name!)

Lou Monger - the guy's a fish monger…with the last name Monger. It's-a joke! ;D

Ian 'Nito' Coggs - first mentioned without his real last name, but "Ian Coggs, Nito", is a pun on the word "incognito"…which is what Clayface is here.

FriendBook/Chirp/bloggr/uBox - takes on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and YouTube respectively. (This started back in my 'Season 3' story, At the Brink of Midnight, though I've since learned that bloggr was a real thing. :T) The 'uBox' is meant to be a play on 'jumping box'/'the box' as other terms for TV, like 'the tube'.

"whole tomato of pins" - the supposed history of tomato-shaped pincushions is that tomatoes placed on mantels repelled evil spirits and guaranteed prosperity, but I really wanted to just allude to the common pin-cushion shape. (My mom once had a whole little basket of strawberry shaped pin-cushions. I remember "borrowing" them a lot as a kid to play with. And then "losing" them.)

"sock and buskin masks" - these are a reference to the "comedic sock" and "tragic buskin (i.e. boot)" of the Greek comedy-tragedy theatre masks. I figured something like them would be a good logo for the "false faces", as BM is obsessed with masks. It also doubles as a natural callback to the "your relationship with x has changed" feature of TT games.

Ch. 4: Suite of Cups

[chapter title] - the first chapter to be a reference to the Tarot, in specific the Minor Arcana of Cups; rather than specifying the card at play outright, this title is a pun on the aforementioned arcana "suite", as the main location of events this chapter are in a casino's hotel suite. One can interpret many Cups cards at play here, but...

○ Specifically, in the Casino's suite/crime scene, there are 8 visible seats, but 7 cups on the table. The 7 of Cups refers to choices, fantasy, and illusion, an indicates there are multiple opportunities or many paths you can take, but they should be chosen carefully; when reversed, it can mean confusion, diversion, and temptation, and indicate a lack of choice or failure to choose.

○ The upright version is definitely in play, with the overall root of TellTale games being choices, and some "the player" makes this chapter will move your relationships with Tiffany and John in different ways, which can strengthen your relationships with them. If "the player" has chosen to be a more violent Batman, the way the Talon - and later, the Court - treats Batman is different.

○ The Reversed reading can be interpreted for the Court's complete disregard for the mere notion of choice.

Bauta - a Venetian carnival mask, meant to represent 'anonymous decisions' via it's original design of protecting identities. It's quite common in carnivals.

Melpomene-Thalia - the Venetian masks for comedy and tragedy, a la 'sock and buskin', the masks used as a general symbol for theatre. You can practically taste the irony, given who's shown wearing it...

Volto - a Venetian mask, meant to represent 'anonymity, quiet exit' for it's blank face. It's also known as the "Citizen Mask" because of it's worn by the common folk (in comparison to the more elaborate masks).

The Lot [casino] - named for "drawing lots", like drawing straws or matches to pick a person to do a task (usually with the shortest straw having to do the task, but it varies). This is both a pun on the fact that it's a casino - where you try your luck at gambling - and corresponds with the theme of foretelling the future that's woven throughout much of the story.

The Wednesday Nighters gang - this doesn't mean anything in particular. I'm a big fan of Midsomer Murders, and there's an episode ("Death in a Chocolate Box") where it references a few dirty cops who frequently took the Friday night shift at a station for episode-plot-reasons, who called themselves The Friday Nighters. It's an off-shoot reference to it, hence the corrupt cops on the gang in this story. :)

[John's voicemail] - Another BtAS episode I love is "the terrible secret of Bruce Wayne". In particular, I loved Joker's voicemail when Dr. Strange calls in ("Boy, do YOU have the wrong number!") and I wanted to do something like that. But, y'know, way less murdery.

"F85H4ND" - l33t-written "Fate's Hand", for…well, the hand of fate, supposedly guiding you through life/events. Another correspondent to the foretelling the future theme.

Michael Hodgson - not all of the names I pick for characters mean anything. Sometimes their names are just loose references to things I like. This is a silly mish-mashup of the original hosts of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Michael [Nelson] and [Joel] Hodgeson. (Joel was the first host + show creator, and Mike was the second host who closed out the original series run.)

"40F5WRD5" [Batcomputer archive] - l33t for the 4 of Swords, a card in the Minor Arcana for rest and restoration; since the archives and file names are randomly generated when not prompted otherwise with manual input, an otherworldly force seems to be saying 'get some damn sleep Bruce'.

[John's ringtone] - I know, TT always has everyone's phone on silent. I don't care. Bruce's ringtone for John is "Mack the Knife", a song about a violent mobster, played on a carnival organ. Chosen because 1) John probably loves that song, 2) I thought it was funny that it has the line "the shark bites - with his teeth, dear - when he shows them pearly whites" and how well that goes with John's A+ dental care... 3) TeamFourStar made jokes in their BtTTS S2 playthrough about having "a special ringtone whenever John calls [them]"…why would I not carry that through? They did get me to where we are now, you know. ;)

Ryde - the in-game stand-in for Lyft, the not-a-taxi service.

Ch. 5: The Wheel Still Spins on the Upturned Chariot

[chapter title] - a reference to 2 tarot cards in the Major Arcana. 1) "The Wheel"/"The Wheel of Fortune", which is a sign for continuous cycles, inevitable fate, and usually indicates good fortune and pre-destiny when the card is presented upright. When reversed, it can signify bad luck and an unfavorable fate. 2) "The Chariot", symbolizing a path forward to success, confidence, and overcoming obstacles; when reversed, it's stands for recklessness and lack of direction/control. 3) As the Chariot is upside down, John's original plans have been upended and everything goes out of his control in a chaotic situation. He’s essentially "not at the driver’s seat" for a little while. "The player" decides which direction to take the wheel in - either letting him lash out violently and send him on more solitary and dangerous path, or satisfy his need for stability by embracing his new relationships. The Chariot is always upturned here, but whether the wheel spins forward or backward is up to "the player's" decisions.

511 N. Blade Street - this one's a bit messy. 511 = V I I, or VII in roman numerals, which =7. The tarot cards are traditionally numbered in roman numerals. North, for pointing upright, and "blade" is synonymous with "sword". So it’s the "7 of Swords", in the upright position – referring to deception and trickery, which is of course what's going on in regards to who Ian 'Nito' Coggs really is…

Apt 1005 - even muddier, but this is referring to the 10 of Swords, which is for betrayal and backstabbing, hinting at the true motives of "Ian" | Clayface. 10-0-5, so 10 and the l33t for "OS" = 10-o-S.

900 Wanda Way - Both a pun on the phrase “wander away” and the 9 of Wands in the Minor Arcana, which alludes to pushing forward to achieve victory. A good allusion for a clinic, me-thought.

400 Wanda Way - The 4 of Wands in the Minor Arcana stands for community, another good allusion for a clinic.

Karen McCarthy - named after the most stereotypically uptight narcissistic asshole the masses have agreed to call 'Karen', and both McCarthyism and another famous lady with the surname McCarthy. Because I wanted you to know the second you see her name that she is *horrible*. (Funny, though, there's 2 senators named McCarthy that are pieces of shit and one infamous quasi-celeb who's the face of the anti-vax scene. Is it just a cursed family name?)

Ch. 6: The Tips of Our Swords

[chapter title] - Refers to the 4 of Swords card in the Minor Arcana, as the "swords" are alluding to the four active members in the Batfam - Bruce, John, Tiffany, and Iman - who work together on the case[s]; you can infer this title to a presentation not unlike the Musketeers joining swords to affirm themselves as a team, as they all gather together. The reversed reading of the card is for restlessness/stress in Bruce's case, and the clear signal of the universe to tell him to relax, and the reading when presented right-side up is for the break it gives to "the player", with the homey atmosphere of the Batfam spending time together. Either reading is completely valid here.

○ BUT, as Alfred is a non-active member of the Batfam, we could also say that 5 of Swords is also at play, right-side-up for the fighting and resentment with Alfred, and John's hinted budding conflict with him; and 5 reversed for Bruce's attempts at making up with Tiffany. If one illustrated the gathering of our four heroes joining swords like the musketeers over a breakfast table, then Alfred would be sitting drinking tea, standing as a symbol of the Ace of Cups, signifying new emotions or stirrings of feelings.

○ If we stretch the metaphor eeeven further, the title can also be a loose reference to the Sword of Damocles; threats always hang above the heads of powerful people, and in this case the looming threat of Black Mask and the mysterious assassin, ever-present in Batman's world…

Dr. Brandi September - literally "Sword" and "Seventh Month", alluding to the 7 of Swords, hinting to deception and manipulation at play.

"I was tired of the soup du jour" - a shameless Devo reference; a tiring of the routine/everyday. "I'm tired of the soup du jour - I want to end this prophylactic tour - ain't nobody around me - understands my potato - I'm only a spud boy - lookin' for a real tomato" - DEVO, "Mr DNA/Smart Patrol".

Motel 11, Augury Road - "augury" is another word for crows; as a gathering of crows can be a method of fortune-telling, this a reference to a gathering of 11 crows, which when seen is supposed to be indicative of disguising or revealing secrets.

Ch. 7: Drawing the Strings

[chapter title] - meant to allude to John aligning the strings connecting the people and crimes together, like an old-fashioned way of mapping clues; can be interpreted as these crime-strings on the proverbial board being drawn closer together, marking the center of the "web" as the Court of Owls

Frieda Baast - Frieda, an allusion to the Norse goddess Freya, who rode on a chariot driven by cats, and Baast, the Egyptian goddess who had the form of a cat. It makes it really obvious who was staying at the Motel 11, huh?

room 14 [Selina Kyle's motel room] - a reference to the 14th tarot card, "Temperance", which when upright is meant for choosing the middle path between choices. This is meant to reference Selina herself, currently at a secret, personal crossroads and being in "the middle"; John can influence her hidden choice by either making her think about what her potential job's employers are really aligning themselves with, or taunting her into how she can't leave her old life behind. (Whether John is violent or not doesn't completely impact her choice, but it does impact how they interact later if Selina winds up in the hands of our villains.)

Oracle, Spoiler, Batgirl, Spectrum - Batman's had a lot of non-Robin sidekicks in comics, including Batgirl (originally Barbara Gordon), Oracle (Barbara Gordon, post-Batgirl-forced-retirement and computer hacker extraordinaire), and Spoiler (Stephanie Brown, who "spoiled" crimes). As a fan of Ao3/tumblr's @fractualized 's own Telltale Bat-verse fics (the "Release John Doe" series), I added in the reference to "Spectrum", which Tiffany became in lieu of "Robin". A wink from one fan-writer to another! ;)

"I'm steppin' out, my dear - to breathe an atmosphere […] - that simply reeks […] with class" - John's singing a classic Fred Astaire hit, "Top Hat, White Tie, and Tails".

Eric, Jerome, Jeremiah, Jack [John's "Normal name" ideas] - As this story allows "the player" to pick a name for John to use in place of his own, you can pick between some classic and modern references to Joker's alternate personas over the years. Eric White Border (edit: goddang it that's what i get for looking at White Knight while writing this up and never double-checking), Joker's regular persona in the New 52 Batman comic line; Jerome or Jeremiah of the Gotham TV series, both of which are different aspects of Joker's personality through media, with a more modern gritty version in Jerome (think Heath Ledger's Joker) and a more modern take on Joker's sociopathy in Jeremiah; and last but not least Jack Napier, the first official name of Joker circa Tim Burton's Batman (1989), and the one most popularly used (BtAS and other comics throughout the years since use this name). "The player"'s choice doesn't impact the story or the way John acts, but it does give a surprise feature later. ;)

Matt Chaney - Aka, "Clayface", Matt has both new and old elements in his name alone. Matt, for Matt Hagen, the most well-known/used of the Clayface personas, and Chaney, for classic film actor Lon Chaney, AKA the man of a thousand faces. This Clayface is an aspiring actor who is psychologically dependent on Moddy to keep him handsome after a terrible car accident left his face marred. He uses his excellent makeup skills and acting to infiltrate the False Face Society, and double-plays them and the Court of Owls.

Root / MuSec - stand-ins for Vine and TikTok, respectively. "MuSec" is both a play on the word "musac" (the word for 'elevator music' and generic produced music you hear in fake stores and the like) and the mish-mash of the words "music" and "second", referencing the short length of the videos. "Root" was used in a prior story (At the Brink of Midnight), and acts as another "natural network" type name akin to Vine; though I do recognize "Vine" might have come along as part of the phrase "I heard it through the grape-vine". I have a feeling some Aussie fans might find the fake-Vine name funny...or just awkward.

Ch. 8: It Had to Be You

[chapter title] - A reference to the classic crooner song, "It Had to Be You"; specifically, the one that flows through the first scene is a cover done by Frank Sinatra, meant to align with other Bat-media's use of Sinatra where Joker and Batman are concerned. The Arkham games got his famous "Under My Skin", and another crooner's "Only You". Batjokes fans/content creators have also used "Strangers in the Night" for their relationship. I wanted to present one that would feel at-home in the TellTale universe regardless of what route you end up with, and what's more perfect than a song about finally discovering the love of your life? The song fits them to a tee, in my humble opinion…

Estella Art Gallery - Selina's art gallery, mentioned previously to have been the site of a Talon attack. "Estella" translates to "star", for the tarot card "The Star". When presented upright, it means hope and rebirth; this card can be presented after a disaster, such as an event like "The Tower". Normally, it can be interpreted as a card to show a phase where you have trust and faith in yourself and the universe. Selina was turning over a new leaf and enjoying her new life until the Owls found out who she was.

Mrs. Bollard - "bald-headed person"…this poor woman got her wig snatched as John stole Bruce from her on the dance floor. xD

"I knew today's horoscope was bullshit" - a nod to earlier, where Roman mentioned his horoscope when visiting Bruce; "a friend will help you out of a tight bind." Not that it was mentioned like that... still! I wonder what today's was? "You will be fortunate in your business endeavors"? Ha ha ha! But really, the horoscope is another nod to the theme of foretelling the future, as it's a popular method to try and see how your day, month, season, or year will be. Not that I know what sign Roman is… *thinking face*

[Achievement Unlocked: Batman Who Laughs] - John showing up in the Batman cowl was not only funny, but a direct nod to the Batman Who Laughs. The TT games had Batman comic titles often used as Achievements, so I figured I'd put in some…

[Achievement Unlocked: Batwoman Rises] - Iman helping the team out in the spare Batman suit is naturally a nod to Batwoman, and something I wanted to do for a while. ;D

Brighella - a Venetian mask taken from a play now used to depict a cunning and mischievous servant. Originally the mask was used to depict a greedy villain character.

The Two Gilded Cups - A restaurant in-story that references "The Two of Cups" tarot card, a card representing unity, partnership, and two becoming one. When upright, it's a card that can reference lovers or a new relationship; when reversed, it can represent broken communication, imbalance, or tension. As such, the couple who were seen at the restaurant - Sonja Townsend and her husband - are established lovers who work together for the Court of Owls, but those who were really there are Jackie Lant and Matt Chaney, who are in an imbalanced relationship. "Gilded" implies that "The Cups" are covered unnecessarily with gold - this is both in reference to Jackie and Matt's disguise of the Townsends and the truth about their relationship. Matt's lies are covering for his narcissism and selfishness, and ultimately is the only thing holding him and Jackie's relationship together.

Moddy - A fictional body modification clay-mud-putty that's a product of Janus Industries, this makeup is the favorite of Matt Chaney and the reason we can call him "Clayface". Like the traditional Clayface, Matt is in dire need to have his fix of the makeup, despite what it does to him - as John notes, it leaves a weird burn-like sensation, and since Matt has deep scar tissue he covers every minute of every day, it's made the skin damage worse.

"You’re really committed to drowning in that river" - A riff on the old joke "denial ("de Nile") isn't just a river in Egypt".

"Your words are honey in my ears, but my brain always turns it into bitter wax" - In Futurama, Fry has a silly line of “Sweet words! Sweet words that turn into bitter wax in my ears!”. It always had the potential to be a great metaphor if the words were twisted around! :) Plus, I mean, come on, this is a totally On Brand™ thing for John to say!

Ch. 9: Strength in Numbers

[chapter title] - Referencing the Strength card, for bravery, compassion, and inner strength; the title also doubles as a play on “different kinds of strengths”. Strength is the will the expose your truths. Strength is finding compassion to help others. Strength is staying true to your convictions in the face of opposition. We see all different kinds of strength on display here.

○ It can also a reference to the different partnerships going on, with Jackie joining the team (unofficially), Bruce and Tiffany going off to tackle the other half of our case, and John and Iman’s team-up. :)

"[John] could barely hear it over the tinny electronic whistling tune emitting from his own phone, telling him the person on the other end was a mystery" - this is referencing an old tumblr joke! Yes, John has the “It is a mystery” tone on his phone for unknown calls…complete with the little (:o) ghost icon.

CUP5K1NG [license plate] - Referring to the King of Cups card, a card portraying emotional balance and compassion. As it's not written as "K1NGCUP5", it implies it's a reversed card, signifying there's manipulation and instability at work. Even though Matt doesn't own the car this license plate belongs to, it's definitely tied to him since it's his getaway ride, and thus hints at what's to be revealed in his and Jackie's hotel room.

Aylin Street - the name "Alyin" translates into “moon halo; one that belongs to the moon”, thereby being a reference to the Moon card, representing mysteries and illusions. An investigation is afoot!

“Looks like I’ve got the red light, kiddo.” - In stage acts, the red light is to indicate to the performer their time on stage is up. Generally, it’s reserved for comedians who either overrun their time or are losing the audience. John's joking that he's been given the red light to exit stage left (but not persued by bear).

"What’s the ‘G’ for?” - Iman's 'Gotham Construction' jumpsuit has a G different from John's - it's shaped more like a gear. This is another Mystery Science Theater reference, in particular the logo for Gizmonic Institute, the company/labs that "employed" original host Joel and the mad scientist Dr. Forrester (and his assistant, TV's Frank), who started the experiments of forcing a guy and his robot friends to watch reeeally bad movies. The result was 12 (soon to be 13!) seasons of some guys making hilarious and very memorable jokes at said bad movies' expense. Does this reference mean that Bruce is just as huge a dork as I am, or does it mean that MST3K is real in this universe?! You make the call! ;D

○ …if you read 'What's the 'G' for?' in Invader Zim's voice, that's also valid. Especially if you followed it with “I dON’t know!” in GIR's. (There is no cringing here! We openly embrace our childhood silliness!)

MasterOfClayFace / #IdW3arThat [Matt Chaney's social media login] - naturally Matt is so far up on his high horse that he considers himself a master of clay work…and of course his nickname is ClayFace! His password is a joke in and out of canon, being a riff on Lemon Demon song: “A mask of my own face – I’d wear that” ~ Lemon Demon, “Mask of My Own Face” [Nature Tapes].

3055 [Jackie Lant's InstaPic followers] - According to research, the average Instagram following is about 1000, so Jackie is above average popularity. Anything above 10k is usually(?) celeb status. The number 3055 is meant to be broken up and turned partially into l33t, to make 3-O-S-S, or 3 of Sword[s]. The 3 of Swords card in the tarot signifies heartbreak and grief, stemming from betrayal, loneliness, and rejection. Jackie experienced all three of these heart-piercing swords during her return to Gotham, with Matt basically forcing her into isolation, betraying her trust, and rejecting her input and values in favor of his own; but she didn't really know it until the truth was exposed.

8055 [Matt Chaney's InstaPic followers] - similarly, Matt's follower count is meant to be 8-O-S-S, or the 8 of Swords card. It signifies self-victimization and imprisonment. In particular, the card shows a person restrained and trapped, but their helplessness is a show…they could choose to get out, if they got over themselves. Matt is incredibly selfish, so it comes as no surprise that he will play the victim card.

#OnlyInGotham - Another tumblr reference! I love the @hashtagonlyingotham blog! ( ^3^)

The Herold Rite's Theatre - A play on the word "Hierophant": Herold, like “herald (ruler/champion)” and Rites, like “sacred rites”. In the tarot, the Hierophant card represents following tradition and values, which for the Owls is their very core. This is basically a big ol' hint that Iman and John are heading into Owl territory, but also foreshadows the religious undercut of The Court and Reverend Sebastian Overfield's role.

"a familiar red-pyramid-and-floating-eyeball" [graffiti] - A reference to my icon! ;D You think I can't self-promo?

trading cards [found in theatre storage] - In the Theatre, John finds "old promotional trading cards for an old sci-fi film with big-brained aliens". This is a shameless and loving reference to Tim Burton's 1996 film Mars Attacks!, of which my AO3/tumblr icon and username is lifted - the movie was based on a series of Topps trading cards from the 1960's, and had it's own set of cards with movie scenes and behind-the-scenes pictures (and summaries of events) printed for the movie! They also used them as promotional tools, and if you get very lucky purchasing a copy of the old single-issue comic books from the 1995 Mars Attacks run from Image Comics, you can get a promo card.

https://bit.gt.gd/S3272019F?=RO - Originally "gd" stood for a derivative of Google Drive, but I can’t look at it and not see “get good”. The "S3272019F?" is meant to stand for "Started: March 27, 2019 Finished: ?". I can't believe I started uploading the story in March of 2019! Man, 2020 really messed with my sense of time…

Ch. 10: Tantara Bounces Off of Moonlit Walls

[chapter title] - "Tantara" is defined as "the blare of a trumpet or horn", as seen in the Judgement card, which stands for self-reflection as well as reckoning, and can indicate rebirth. There's of course another reference to the Moon card, for intuitions and the unconscious being. Then what are the "[Moonlit] Walls"? Well, they're the part of the only Major Arcana tarot card to represent a building - they are the walls of the Tower, symbolizing destruction and disaster. When all the cards' meanings are put all together, this alludes to a time of discovery among absolute disaster.

○ Expanded, the whole title is a reference to both forms of Judgement occurring – self-reflection and change are happening with Bruce and John as their mysteries and anxieties are finally put to rest: John is undergoing his final "rebirth", seeing his reality clearly in Arkham’s padded cell; Bruce seems to finally come to terms with working with Tiffany, as his fear of not being able to protect her comes through with her showing she's able take care of herself and prove she's a true asset to the team; and the Court of Owls finally comes to light, with Matt Chaney, the Talon Adam, and the Talon Sonja Townsend finally showing their real motivations.

○ We can also interpret the title as a reckoning coming for the Owls, who have long been obscuring the truth of their deeds and whose true motives have been murky. They've built their own tower of disaster with bricks of delusion, and judgement's horn is blaring a warning through their hallways…

"X-Sharp Manufacturing" - a reference to the 10 of Swords (hence the "sharp"), the tarot card for betrayal, backstabbing, and defeat. For Bruce, there is disaster here beyond his control that ends in a [temporary] defeat. For Roman Sionis, owner of the small factory as part of Janus Inc., he's unwittingly walked into his own betrayal.

"Merlin's Flower Arrangements" - Merlin, a famous wizard, is a reference to The Magician card, who defines “as above, so below”… And as John is taken to a secondary location, so is Bruce. :)

"La Luna Painting" - La Luna, aka The Moon; remember, shadows can play tricks on your eye, so something’s afoot here… Aka "HEY GUYS THIS TOTALLY ISN’T SUSPICIOUS OR ANYTHING NO SIR"

Yelsnia Theater - Yelsnia is…actually a name. But searching for it shows my true hint, as it's "Ainsley" backwards. "Ainsley" derives from Scottish words meaning “alone, solitary” or “hermitage”. This is a reference to the Hermit card – in this case, it's blatantly upside down, referring to loneliness, isolation, and a general disconnection with mankind. AKA, the path Matt is on.

"the looming pillar tower" [Arkham] - A blatant representation of The Tower. It stands for impending disaster and "an upheaval of a foundation of reality". Of course, this can be taken in two ways. 1) That John has overcome/avoided the disaster of another mental breakdown. 2) That John’s foundation of his delusions - that he’ll wake up in or get sent back to Arkham for his sickness - was wrong in a realistic sense, as he’s made serious progress in managing his emotional issues, and right in an unrealistic one, where the only way he could be sent back was through an outside force, i.e. the Owls.

10210475 [inmate number] - When separated for the numeric cipher, we get 10-21-4-7-5, or J-U-D-G-E

13051420 [inmate number] - When separated for the numeric cipher, we get 13-5-14-20, or M-E-N-T

○ When put together, the inmate numbers read "Judgement", the tarot card is shown here for John's choices and character arc on display throughout this chapter. When the card is reversed, it implies a lack of self-awareness, which we can also attribute to "the player's" choices for John if they make Bad Decisions. If you simply take the word "judgement" at face-value (without involving the tarot) it also works wonderfully, applying to John's entire situation as being a trial/judgement set by a higher force.

"The prince returned to the tower" dialogue [the prophetic cell mate] - Whether the person speaking is physical or not, John notes he can hear the scratching of pencil on paper within the cell, implying a person is writing their words down like a story… “The prince,” (John Doe, alias Joker, traditionally the ‘Clown Prince’ of Gotham) “having returned to the tower” (Arkham Asylum, the foundations of John's issues) “to reclaim his crown,” (assurance in himself and his reality; the completion of John's "self" with his final choices and becoming Vigilante!Joker for good) “trails after the fiend” (confronts the Talon Adam, alias Owl-man) “who's flying on wings of retribution” (core beliefs, perceived sense of justice). “The fiend’s wings are big, but the bones are brittle” (the Owl-man is imposing and persistent, but his physical "wings" are his weakness).

○ If you couple the Court of Owl's belief that G*d has written down the destinies of everyone in the world [as they are each born] with the knowledge that someone was writing down a short version of John's events at Arkham…hmmm.....

Room 11 [Iman's cell room] - The 11th card in the Major Arcana is "Justice". This can reference either 1) The just-desserts coming for Talon Adam/"The Owlman", or 2) The outcome of the player’s choice to take Iman with them or not.

11 minutes + 16 seconds [remaining time on bomb timer] - 11:16. 11/16, aka my birthday! :) I only wish I had finished Chapter 10 in time for the chapter's publishing year (2020), lol~

"Our Faith brings Perseverance, and Our Perseverance guides Justice, for Mercy to God." - The Court of Owls' beliefs circle around 3 principles bringing people closer to G*d: Faith, Perseverance, and Justice. Their belief hardens their persistence in their actions (as they are written and not guided by "Evil"), and their goals are ultimately to deliver justice where the human system failed and "Evil" prevailed in "escaping", hence the guiding of one principle to another. "Mercy to God" is what is granted by righting the injustices of the world; as G*d wrote your future down exactly, Evil can corrupt it, and once corrupted this does G*d a harmful injustice. The Court considers themselves close to G*d by "mercifully" stopping further corruption via eliminating "Evil" in all it's worldly forms…

Speaking of the 3 principles, our main Owls are meant to be "embodiments" of these in the story.

○ Talon Sonja Townsend represents Faith, driving home her belief in G*d's absolute destiny. She is corrupted by her own selfish goal of eliminating her son-in-law, but is also so by-the-book she does not think to look at the obvious double-standards of the Court, and doesn't think her underlying actions are guided by "Evil".

○ Talon Adam represents Perseverance, having fought Joker to unconsciousness, and was willing to blow up Arkham with himself still inside just to eliminate it; he is the most brainwashed, but the least corrupt in motivations, only striving to get what he feels is "justice". On the flip side of Adam is Talon Evan, who despite serious injury still appeared in Court and jumped at the chance to kill Joker and Batman, despite the Court's general appreciation of Batman; he is corrupt in personal selfishness, as he possesses no "real" faith in the Court's belief system and doesn't like others getting credit by stealing his targets.

§ ...it's also worth mentioning that the names for Adam and Evan are meant to be derivative of "Adam and Eve". In this way, it can also be seen as a parallel to The Lovers card, which one can attribute to Bruce and John. While Bruce + John are oddly harmonious and undeniably have a strong bond regardless of story paths, Adam + Evan are discontent rivals, with Adam "stealing" Evan's target and good graces with the Court, and Evan very pointedly beating up and kidnapping Batman (who Adam admires) to set up Batman's eventual Judgement.

○ Reverend Sebastian Overfield is the main representation of Justice, though he embodies all 3 principles. The Court’s belief is that their pursuit of justice – stopping Evil/chaos via deaths of criminals – overrides their own traditional sins. Because they are being helpful to G*d, granting Them mercy by righting the injustices of Evil and putting G*d’s Word back on the right path, they are in G*d’s favor. Therefore, as the leader of the Court and the one who organized everything by handing down "God's word", he is the carrier of Justice; without him, the Court would be nowhere and G*d would be shedding more tears over their ruined work…at least, in his mind. Naturally, he is the exact opposite of what justice should be. He is biased and unwavering in strict faith, as much a carrier of chaos as he doesn't want to be…

○ Of course, this is all also up to interpretation. One can interpret Adam as "justice", Evan as "perseverance", and Sebastian as the stand-in for "God", as he is the Court's ruler and is the sole person to hand down "the word of God".

"[…]if two people you normally count on for one reason or another" - Alfred made a subtle dig at John being Bruce's boy-toy. Ouch, Al'…

"[…]given it's your pet project, and all" - Even though Selina is talking about Arkham, she's making a dig at former-Arkham-resident John being Bruce's "pet", who in her eyes was Bruce's main reason for getting Arkham revitalized. :\ Man, everybody's picking on their relationship…

petrichor - The smell proceeding rain. Because it's not a climactic fight scene in Gotham city without rain.

Ch. 11: The Tolls of Justice

[chapter title] - Naturally referring to the Justice card of the tarot, this title is the same as the story title. Funnily enough, this is the 11th chapter, and the 11th card in the tarot deck. (I guarantee you I did not plan this bit… Funny how these things play out, ain't it?) The Justice card naturally stands for cause and effect, clarity, or truth; ultimately, it's a representation of karmic retribution, and what the Owls are in dire need of facing. The title overall is referring to both the [para]phrase "do not ask for whom the bell tolls, for it tolls for thee" (in the original context: a grievance over death for all out of love for community/mankind, not just one person) and the "toll" - as in cost or damage - of enacting justice. What Bruce has put himself through to become and keep being Batman, the enactor of vengeance for all those wronged in the city of Gotham, and what ultimately the Court of Owls has sacrificed - either wittingly or unwittingly - in the name of justice. It also extends to John, who for the sake of "justice" is routinely stuck in Arkham, in one way or another, and has never had a conceivably just or fair life at all - thus paying the unwilling toll opposing Bruce and the Owls. We can also extend it to Tiffany, who is making good on her work with Bruce to "pay her toll" for her own crime, with her toll being seen in a positive light as Robin, compared to what life sentence she might have been paying otherwise.

[the sword in the pulpit] - a symbolic reference to The Justice card, as the Justice card in the major arcana often depicts a sword, either alone or in someone's hand. This can also be interpreted as a reference to the Ace of Swords in the minor arcana, which is normally pointing upwards, referring to victory, truth, or ideas; when flipped, as it would be when looking at the initial depiction of the sword as a "cross", it stands for lies and confusion. The sword in the story itself is a symbol of justice, and uses snakes as the stand-in for the forces of Evil, which are destroyed by the owl making up the handle and supposedly wielding the blade.

"the skull peeking out of the knight’s helmet" [card in the box on Reverend's desk] - A very clear reference to the Death card, famous in the tarot deck. It signifies change, inevitable cycles, and new beginnings/directions. Depending on the reading, it can be interpreted as an actual death, but more often than not it’s merely showing of a life change. As this is the Reverend’s deck, it seems the last card he drew was Death… The viewer can interpret this as a reading from the Reverend into the Arkham plot, where Death is representing John’s own changes, the end of Talon Adam’s latest “cycle”, or the actual deaths that had occurred (no matter how many there are in the end). The viewer can also read this as the Reverend trying to find his own fate, the fate of Roman Sionis for his trial, or Batman’s fate. All of them are quite valid, but I feel the most accurate interpretation is that the Rev' was trying to read the future of the Court of Owls.

○ …as mentioned above, the Death card is the most overt reference to the Tarot. This way, if someone didn't piece together the weird chapter titles, the specified numbers and number-letter strings, and/or the odd names of people and places, they'd be able to double-back and see them as clues. They are put there purely as a storytelling clue for the audience. As you can tell, the tarot references increased with each chapter…almost like someone is trying to get your attention…

[the framed painting] - a reference to The High Priestess, aka card II of the tarot. This card is indicative of intuition and looking within, and can signal to mysteries at hand or a higher power at work. The pillars on the card are (hilariously enough) marked with a B and J, and are in black and white, respectively. They stand for Boaz (Strength) and Jachin (Establishment), and are meant to represent the duality of nature, good/evil, masculine/femine, etc. Naturally, both pillars are equal. In this depiction, it is both relating to “the player’s” own duality, with the ability to be flexible as Bruce and John and have both good and bad decisions play through the story, and as a strong hint to a higher power being present.

8-9-6-3 [candle puzzle] - It takes a bit to work out by sorting through the alphabetic values to each number, but it doesn’t make a complete word. On ye olde phone keypad, 1 is always null in value, so it’s always unlit in the candle sequence, and since there are 4 other numbers present we know it doesn’t count as part of the string. (If there were only 3, you could guess a year from your notes.) My idea for the “game” specs of this part would be that the key-code would be somewhat randomized, either using a specific year (if Tiffany and/or Iman are not present, this is *always* the case, as you have to utilize your background notes and the candles by yourself), a few translated letter combinations just for fun, or an occasional number-card type combo, as presented here. (In some lucky scenarios, “the player” doesn’t have to solve the candle puzzle, since Tiffany can figure out the year by herself and just call you over when she opens the door. You still have the option of looking around, though!) In this case, the values are another tarot-themed hint, using the card number first: 8-w-n-d, for the 8 of Wands, which alludes to quick actions. AKA “Get ready for quick-time events!!!”

"looking more like the king on the throne than a judge" - Meant to allude to The Emperor card, the ultimate royal symbol in the major arcana and always depicted with a king. Traditionally this symbolizes power, authority, control, etc., but when reversed it alludes to overbearingness, arrogance, and chaos. For the Owls, they would likely see themselves as the upright depictions, even when presented upside down before the person doing their reading… And here is no better example, with the Reverend Overfield taking place as the ultimate authority over the Court.

"like [Sonja] had a say in commanding the room" - Alluding to The Empress, in conjunction with Rev’s position, this card alludes to femininity, motherhood, nurturing, creativity, and/or abundance. When reversed, it stands for neglect, creative blocks, overbearing, and/or uncaring. Sonja is a good example of an overbearing mother, trying to make decisions for her child because she thinks she knows best - thus fits the reversed reading well.

[Courtroom layout] - How curious is it that I haven't referenced The Devil when we have so many opportunities? That's because I strove to show this card rather than reference it overtly. The Devil card depicts El Diablo in the upper middle, lording over the card, with two souls chained to him at the bottom. The classic depiction shows a female demon-like human on one side and a male demon-like human on the other. As such, Rev. Sebastian sits on the high bench as the judge, overlooking the courtroom, and Sonja and Evan sit beneath him, one embedded on each side of the lower bench, sitting before him rather than beside him. Naturally, The Devil card represents temptation, manipulation, and materialism (though not necessarily of physical things). There is nothing more suited to The Devil card than the Reverend Sebastian Overfield and the Talons.

Circe | Cindy Peterson - Circe was the original Black Mask's downfall, or at least serious decent into who would be Black Mask. In her origin, she was a model who seduced Roman and ended up being blamed for his poor business choices, as he completely revolved Janus Inc.'s new direction around her image, somewhat at her insistence. Roman seemed to love her, but grew vengeful when she dumped him. She was named Circe, after the witch who lured men to their doom. In this story, she plays a much less active role but ultimately still serves as Roman's downfall, though in a very different way. : she does seem to care about Roman, going so far as to hide him on her yacht, not rat him out for his overt gang activities, and even leave Gotham with him for good to run from Batman despite not being in a relationship with him for long. But Bruce is able to spin this to his advantage, openly lying that she was working for him undercover and twisting Roman's affection for her into paranoid doubt, which he eventually lashed out with and ended up being caught because of. Circe never got a ~proper~ name in the original canon, so I dubbed her Cindy. The name "Cindy" can be boiled down to “person from Kynthos” and since Circe is Greek… Well, it fits well enough!

"[…]waltzing into the danger-zone without his wingman" - It’s Top Gun's “You can be my wingman anytime”, but with ALL the homoerotic implications!

"the Degnah Club" - The Degnah Club can be inferred to be one of Roman Sionis’ clubs, or just one his False-Face Society visited on occasion, but the event that happened there is implied to have taken place before the start of the story. “Degnah” when written backwards is “hanged”, referencing the Hanged Man card. When upright, this card means sacrifice and selfless acts. When reversed, as very much implied here, it’s an unnecessary sacrifice. This is both a play on what Roman’s implying – which is likely a very violent event – being an “unnecessary sacrifice” as part of Matt Chaney’s greater scheme for the Court of Owls, and as an allusion to Matt’s fate, where his morals/good choices/old law-abiding life were thrown away for an inevitably failed pursuit.

"[Tiffany | Robin's] personal count of 13" - The 13th card in the tarot is Death, bringer of change and ender of cycles. It’s also a traditionally unlucky number. This number is the “body-count” of Tiffany’s run through the Court so far. Does it reference the end of the Court's latest cycle, or something else…?

Accompanying the Tarot, as mentioned earlier I also tied in other fortune-telling methods, with the counting of crows and reference to the zodiacal horoscope. I also threw in allusions to luck, with The Lucky Hotel and The Lot (in both name and the fact that it's a casino). This is all tied entirely around the concept of fate and being able to change it with the choices you have made or currently make as "the player". Luck itself has nothing to do with your choices and the fates you guide Bruce and John to, and it's not something "the player" can control - it's an illusion, with things seemingly lucky for our heroes having already been written in on purpose to lead to the next event. It's essentially a long, drawn-out joke.

Talons/Reverend's Owl Masks - I wanted the Talons to be set apart from the rest of the Court and have special owl faces. The Court's owl masks are as follows:

○ Talon Adam - Great Horned Owl; chosen for the owl's large size and hunting ability, as well as the protruding "horn" feathers mimicking Batman's cowl. This is the most common owl used in media. The "horns" are meant to clue the reader into the culprit early on. Adam's a Batman-fan, so he mimicked Bats' style.

○ Talon Sonja - Snowy Owl; chosen for the owl's fairly elegant feather pattern and Sonja's ~colder~ personality. Sonja had a masquerade one to show her "humane" side to prospective Owls, but always wears a full-faced mask for the rest of the Court.

○ Talon Evan - Barn Owl; chosen for it's ghost-like face and screeching call, and it's hunting skills. They sometimes are seen as bad omens. While Adam was a mysterious stalker, Evan is overtly dangerous upon appearance, in no due part to his temper.

○ Reverend Sebastian Overfield - Eastern Screech Owl; this owl is smaller than the other, but has similar "horn" feathers to the Great Horned, and a gray face. The "horns" are meant to be another a mirror to Batman, but can be considered another allusion to The Devil. It isn't the largest or flashiest owl of the bunch, but Sebastian has the most power of all the Court members.

[The "Justice" bell-toll] - traditionally, a church bell tolls to signify someone passing into death. In the Court/Church of Mercy's case, they use a bell rung at midnight to signify a complete "trial" and a carry-out of their own brand of "justice"…which also culminates in death. The "trial" shown in this chapter is a rarity, as the offenders are actually present to get a talking-to before their sentencing - generally, the Church will hold a mock-trial to decide the fates of the perpetrators…after some previous counseling with Talons and select older members. (Think of the Trial like a ceremonial conference for the majority of the time.)

Chapter 12: Ten Cheers to the World!

[title] - The act of cheering, aka toasting, is to raise a cup and drink towards someone or something in celebration or tribute. Here, it's referring to the tarot's Ten (X) of Cups, which is pretty much the best card you could pull in a reading - when upright, as it is here, it means celebration, fulfillment, and happiness! The World card is the final card in the Major Arcana, encapsulating completion, accomplishment, and harmony, all from inner and outer sources. It might seem redundant at first, but the Cups suite in the Minor Arcana is all in regards to emotions, relationships, and love; in comparison, the Major Arcana represents a journey from innocence and ignorance to wisdom and completion. So you have an emotional celebration with fulfilling relationships, and the story's path marked as complete in both a literal and figurative sense.

"An accident at Ace Chemicals" [Iman & John's convo] - Referencing the majority of Joker origins, wherein pre-Joker fell into the vat of chemicals at Ace Chemicals and survived, leading to a psychotic breakdown due to his changed appearance and/or the circumstances around to what led him to Ace Chemicals in the first place.

"the string of deaths in the Velestra mafia" [Iman & John's convo] - a ref to the former mafia/main antagonists in Batman: Mask of the Phantom that kept getting killed off one by one by the Phantom. Whether The Phantom exists in this world…we'll have to wait and see, I guess!

"an unrecoverable ‘data loss’ at the Agency" [Iman & John's convo] - not a reference to canon, but my own theory on a potential background for John being a former Agent…(see further below)

"Et tu, Peeps?" - a riff on "Et tu, Brute?", Julius Ceasar's last words as he was betrayed and stabbed to death.

"Maybe I was someone in the wrong place at the wrong time" / "someone at the right place at the wrong time" [John monologue] - Another reference to the most popular background choice, the Ace Chemical origin story, and it’s variations. Though probably lacking Batsy’s involvement, considering the timeframe…

"Maybe I was some experiment gone wrong" [John monologue] - A reference to a different author's Season 3 replacement fanfic, where John ended up being a genetically modified human/test tube baby. Unfortunately the work got deleted from Ao3??? And my bookmark is gone, so I can't name the fic… But I still remember you, Unknown Author!!! It was a fun story and I've never forgotten that twist!!!! \( >o< )/

"Maybe I was even an Agent, like you" [John monologue] - My own little theory as to why the Agency was so keen on getting him for the Suicide Squad – and why he was considered a dangerous part of the gang despite not doing too much of interest in Season 1 (even if you consider the theory that he was helping Lady Arkham get her chemicals/drugs) – was that he was part of the Agency somehow. Either an agent who screwed up on the job, a rogue agent that escaped death via Agency trap…or maybe a guy who knew too much! But it's a fun, fresh idea to bring to Joker's multi-choice past, right? (( ;w;)) <(please say yes)

hippocampus - The region(s) of the brain that primarily deals with memory.

[the photo] - I wanted to leave it up to the reader/"player" to decide what kind of pre-Arkham past the TellTale!Joker has… So whether you think the picture Iman has is a "real" photo of him or not is entirely up to you.

"[…]'you're the moon to my sun'" [John, 'paraphrasing' Bruce] - In Tarot terms, this is a reference to the Sun card, representing joy, success, and masculinity, as well as another reference to the Moon card. One can also interpret the Sun card as "success in overcoming your obstacles or fears". As the Moon card can represent inner fears and femininity, it's a fitting opposite for interpreting this romantic line. While Bruce doesn't exactly embody the "positivity" and "joy" that this card represents, he brings that feeling into John's life, and Bruce is more traditionally masculine in contrast to John. This is also an overt use of the phrase "[they're] the moon to their sun" - a romantic notion that one person, though the opposite to the other, is completely complementary, like a One True Love. TeamFourStar's playthrough of TellTale Batman: The Enemy Within had not one, but TWO mentions of the "moon to [their] sun" line, the second of which was referring to John and Bruce. This one's for you, fellas!!! ( ^3^)

○ Funnily enough, The Moon is a very broadly interpreted card. Sometimes it's not a good card to have because deception, manipulation, illusion, and mystery/confusion are all potentially at work in your life. Sometimes it's an excellent card, because it tells you examine your feelings to resolve a problem, or tells you that you aren't seeing the whole picture. The reversed of the card is often attributed to avoidance of one's problems and further confusion, but also clarity, truth, and the full view of what's going on. If John is the embodiment of The Moon in the upright position, then I say Bruce is that of the Reversed Moon…

"[…] two lovers against the world" - Another classic romantic phrase that can be turned into a Tarot reference. The original phrase is meaning two romantic partners are pitted against "the world"/external forces that threaten to tear them apart, but they are committed to each other regardless. You can't really pit cards against each other in a reading, but you can read Past-Present-Future. In which case, in story terms, The Fool is always the Past, The Lovers is the Present here, and The World is the Future. As mentioned earlier, The World represents harmony and completion - if reversed, it would mean incompletion and chaos. The Lovers card is representing a strong union being forged between two people, very often romantic in terms of the Tarot. The meaning is usually attributed to decisions in a relationship being made (whether to start a new one, or to deepen the one you have), but it can also represent people outright, as well as an indication that a new partnership/relationship is on the way. When reversed, Lovers represents disharmony, imbalance, or a loss of relationship. In our story, of course, our two lovers are representing the upright reading of the card in the Present, showing as a strong couple. As it's "against", it implies that The World is something that will be a challenge, so it's likely Reversed. Which is a pretty good representation of Gotham in general, isn't it? lol~

○ The Lovers can also be seen symbolically in chapters 8 and 9, when Bruce and John are laying opposite each other and linking pinkies/holding hands at the hotel. :)

○ John uses the romantic line regardless of whether he's a vigilante or not! If you didn't get the Best Ending, aka our Sleepover Ending, Bruce would wind up back in the parlor with John as usual, and once the rest of the fam are gone (if they were there at all), he uses it to describe themselves. In the villain route, Bruce and John converse in the Batmobile on the way back to Arkham, and John uses the line there, too. ;3c

○ Naturally, you don't really get this complete scene if "your" Bruce is with Selina in the vigilante route.

Ending Type - …it's not a tarot reference or anything specific. I just wanted to let you know that you can ONLY get the Sleepover Ending if you have Tiffany and John in Bruce's party on good terms with each other AND with Bruce.

○ You can drive Tiffy away from Bruce by saying she shouldn't be with them at the Court Battle, but also by generally not believing in her/being mean and giving a neutral reaction to her staying during Battle; she won't go back to the cave with Bruce, so you don't get a chance to speak to her directly afterwards as either character. (John can still have his conversation with her via text, and they can still end on the same terms.)

○ If you don't have vigilante!John, there's no one else to help lift the things, so Tiffy's idea is never brought up.

○ John is always simping desperate for Bruce's attention, so even if you don't treat him as well in a platonic relationship, he'll still be there for this Ending type. ;_;

○ If you have a Romanced!Selina in your party, Selina will join you in both Court Battle and the Ending as seen in this story. It'll either cause her to take Iman's place (if she is not present) or to have extra spot suddenly appear above the rest of the group. Like Tiffy, she overheats and needs more space too cool off.

§ You can also talk to her as John, and sort of makeup/say your part of the team now. (But John will still be somewhat jealous of the attention she gets.)

§ John doesn't get the emotional hug with Bruce if Selina is around - especially since she doesn't temporarily leave with Tiffany and Iman - but the conversation is almost the same.

§ Naturally you can talk to her as Bruce, too. I don't think on her options too much, but they'll likely talk about change and what it means to have this "job" and internalizing too much of their emotions/themselves.

§ If you and Selina are only friends, Selina can join you in the Court Battle, but will text you instead of sticking around.

1:06 A.M & [Clock time on Belltower in Chapter 11] - Bruce's sense of time is off, which is why he's surprised it's after 1AM and not closer to 2AM. (Can't blame him, he was unconscious for a while and a whole bunch of stuff happened.) I figured if Bruce broke out of his kidnapping ropes at 10PM sharp, and drove all the way to the GCPD, that's about 20-30 minutes in his supercharged car, if not a little less, plus with 5 minutes to escape proper. If we think GCPD is sort of a halfway point to Old Gotham/The Coventry district, it's another 15 minutes to there. So he'd arrive at the Church of Mercy before 11PM, and wait John for around another 10-15 minutes, including with all the investigating inside. The "trial" scene probably took another 10 minutes until Batman crashed it, and fight scenes seem long because of all the action going on, but by the time Bruce and co' leave, it's not 12AM yet. The bell-tower in the Church of Mercy is actually off by about 20 minutes… And what do you know, card XX (20) of the tarot's Major Arcana is Judgement, alluding to karma at work! It can also be attributed to a life change. ;D

"11:43:20PM" - this wasn't deliberately meant to allude to anything. It took the batfam about 2 minutes from the last toll to leave the church. Bells' tolling speed is varying between clocks and towers, but you can estimate about 30-45 seconds for a full twelve. If it rang at 11:40 exactly, then…ugh, this is sounding like math homework.

Epilogue:

[Still a WIP, so will be updated after it's uploaded! Shouldn't have much, though! Saay, isn't there a Major Arcana card missing? (9v9) I wonder what that iiiiis~]

So that was [just about] all of them! I had a lot of fun weaving them throughout the story this time, especially with the story's themes! AtBoM didn't have as nearly as many, so they weren't really worth mentioning before.

I hope this was helpful to those of you who were interested in diving beneath the surface of BtTTS: TToJ~!

[dramionediscussion]

One thing that really grinds my gears about (ginger boy who I will not name so as to not summon antis) stans is their constant refusal to admit when he messes up or is acting flawed. They love to rave about how “he’s so flawed and human and relatable”, but then ANYTIME another fan pops on and gives an example of a when (ginger) wasn’t acting his best and that bothered them, antis will attack that person and blame them for “bashing” and “misunderstanding the scenario.”

They always have some kind of excuse or they point fingers at the people around him to make him look blameless and to make it seem like anyone who is criticizing his behavior are just “looking for an excuse to bash him.” They say he’s a flawed and relatable character but never give him the CHANCE to be flawed and relatable. They let Hermione, Harry, Ginny, etc. take the fall and be wrong, but can they ever do that for (ginger)? Nope.

Here’s the thing...I LIKE him. I WANT to like him and support him and root for him! But I can’t do that if his stans insist on portraying him as this untouchable god who graces everyone with his presence everytime he’s around. The same goes for (ginger x Hermione)! I’ll occasionally find myself in their tag and see fanart for it or edits or text from the books and I’m like...oh I kinda like this? It’s not bad. Not my cup of tea, but not bad! I may even save some of it! But then I see stans opening their mouths and degrading every freaking character to make (ginger) look better and basically give him the same treatment that the early fandom gave Hermione.

Personally, I think character worship is just as bad as bashing. You pretty much erase everything about the character and turn them into this caricature of their former selves. Bashers (genuine bashers, not just people who criticize behavior) take flaws of the character and inflate them to turn the character into a much much worse version of themselves. Worshippers take flaws and suppress them until the character is basically a Mary Sue. BOTH of these things destroy a character and ruin their potential. Do I think the fandom tends to lean a bit more toward bashing for (ginger) and worshipping for Hermione? Early on, yes. But we’ve grown and learned that that isn’t always the right mindset to have. Things are starting to level out! Which is why I can’t stand seeing the scales beginning to tip again!

I went back-and-forth about posting this, tbh. I want to remind our followers that we’re not necessarily here to “vent” because there’s a fine line between venting and hating on characters/people/authors ourselves--and mostly a fine line between letting one person vent and that snowballing into people responding with their own venting which snowballs into mean things said. What this blog is supposed to be is an opportunity to discuss maybe a fanfiction you didn’t quite get, or to fancast, or to talk about why you think a main ship character should be portrayed a certain way. I don’t want to put a fine point on it because this is Dramione Discussion and so that implies an openness of subject, but I just want to make sure that we collectively understand what’s happening here.

Why I’m choosing to post it is because I think you present an interesting argument about character bashing/worship in general, so I want to reorient this discussion to point out some general things we’re seeing in the fandom (and which have been discussed on this blog lately).

I agree with you that extreme reaction to a character--whether bashing or worshipping--is going to limit the character. Additionally, part of what I like about fanfiction is that you can do that. I don’t like a Mary Sue Hermione, but some people do, I’m sure, or else she would never get written that way. What I’ve enjoyed about watching the fandom over the 18/19 years I’ve been reading fanfiction is watching us all grow. You can kind of tell when it’s a 15-yo that wrote the story--there are limits to how successful the author can be in portraying multi-dimensional characters in complex situations, because they just don’t have the experience to portray it accurately. But as we have aged and learned more about life, we’ve built a large, complex fandom with a variety of interesting stories about all kinds of things. In my youth, I could never imagine a story about Hermione and Draco being parents because that was just too far out of my understanding to relate. Nowadays, a story like The Request is right up my alley, not because I have children, but because I have friends who are widowed and have kids and are getting remarried, and that story has become more relatable. Alternatively, when I went through my last breakup, a story like The Request was too realistic for me to handle and I turned to cleotheo for something to just get me feeling normal again in much the same way others turn towards Hallmark movies. Each story/author has its own purpose for me as an individual, and I think a purpose for the fandom as a whole.

I feel that way about characters, too. As someone who studied literature in college, I’ll tell you that a story needs a villain and a tragedy needs comedic relief. Neither of those characters are likely to get much development. A good way to juxtapose this is to talk about Dumbledore and how he went from being this paternal, all-knowing, good guy, to being a very complex, and sometimes hated character by many in the HP fandom. My 13 yo self reading OotP would never have imagined that Dumbledore might be a bad guy--but we’ve created such a complex story around him as a fandom over the years that now I prefer not to read about him at all in my stories. The same can be said for Voldemort--there’s a not insignificant part of the fandom out there that finds ways to redeem him regularly in their fanfiction. That’s what’s so great about fanfiction.

I say all this to say that there’s a place for the bashers, and there’s a place for the worshippers, and if you (not you, Anon, but the public) don’t like to read it, don’t read it. I appreciate that you mentioned that there’s been some Ronmione out there you might have liked, because I think a lot of people in our ship might not branch out enough. If you love to read fanfiction bashing Ron, then fine, you probably won’t love Ronmione, but there’s no reason to seek out a Ronmione lover and tell them that. Let them read in peace. Additionally, they (Ronmione authors) are going to write stories where Draco is weasel ferret, and we know there’s some canon in the book to back that up, and if they want to read Draco-bashing fanfiction, let them.

Writing about these not-real characters is a great way to reflect on our society. I’ve mentioned before that I’m, personally, not a fan of POC Hermione because I think the muggleborn aspect serves the purpose of reflecting racial bigotry we see in modern society without being on-the-nose. Additionally, hero-worship and character-bashing in fanfiction can reflect ideals or wrongs, respectively, that we see in the world onto certain characters. I think that allowing someone to read/write in peace is a great way to start extending compassion and individuality past your personal life into your social one.

-Shirlyn

[cuubism]

Thank you for answering my long fic questions! Hope you don't mind these asks? (If it's a hassle feel free to ignore.) Do you have any tips for titles and summaries?

i definitely don't mind! ❤

for titles, if it's a longer, more elaborate fic i usually go simpler, try to find something that encompasses the main theme or character arc of the fic, something that speaks, in some way, to all of it, if possible. even better if it's a fairly unique word or turn of phrase - doesn't have to be the most elaborate thing ever, but something memorable that won't get confused with a million other fics is always good.

poem or song lyric excerpts are also good, though i'd lean more towards less well known poems/songs unless you want people to bring a ton of associations to it. sometimes those associations can bring an interesting dialogue to the fic! but sometimes they're just baggage lol. matching the tone of the fic is also important -- i'd try not to use a really comedic title for a serious fic and vice versa. when in doubt you can pull a phrase you like from the fic itself too. or sometimes i have a title i like first and then shape the fic around it.

for summaries... recently i've been leaning towards shorter and shorter summaries, just like a line or two that lays out the basic premise of the fic. it helps to think of it less like a summary that you'd write in English class (explaining the whole plot and themes etc etc) and more like a logline -- basically just if you had to explain the fic to someone in like 10 seconds how would you do it. should ideally focus more on the starting point and premise rather than giving away the entire story and plot points. if you can squeeze in a brief reference to the theme or sort of like imply the character arc that's also great. as much as i hate to think of fic as a "product," the summary field (and tags, to some extent, tho that's also an organizational tool) is basically like an advertisement, helping a reader decide whether they want to read the thing. if it's short and concise it's easy for people to read and make a quick judgment. if it's really really long they might be like "i'm not reading that." (a lot of my summaries are actually really shitty tho so perhaps don't use them as a model 😂). a quote from the fic that accurately represents the piece as a whole can also work.

i hope this was... helpful 😂

[dutten-does-the-fanfic]

I Want You Here With Me (Is It Too Much to Ask for Something Great) ch. 1

Title: “I Want You Here With Me (Is It Too Much to Ask for Something Great” Ch. 1 of 14 (masterpost or by tag) Pairing: Isak Valtersen/Even Bech Næsheim Warnings: Language, internalized homophobia, implied bullying and implied child abuse Word Count: 5531

Notes: Alternate Universe - College!AU, Roommates, Non-famous!Isak and Famous director!Even, different first meeting

Cover art

Playlist

AO3

Summary:

"Gutter! Guess who is here!" Magnus practically wheezes, unable to keep quiet long enough for any actual guesses to be made. "Even freaking Bech Næsheim!"

Isak's heart stops. Even is here, why is Even here?

"What's going on?" Jonas asks when Isak stumbles.

"Sorry, I just need to -" he stumbles backwards, bumping into someone accidentally, nearly managing to topple the both of them over.

It's either divine comedic timing or something straight out of a tragedy that Isak whirls around to see world-famous movie director Even Bech Næsheim staring right back at him.

"Isak," Even breathes out.

Isak flees.

--- Or the one where it's been two years since Isak last saw or spoke with Even, and no one knows that Isak ever knew Even at all.

Present

Isak can do this. He hasn’t had a drink in ages, hasn’t needed to rely on the bliss of alcohol and weed. Hasn’t seen the plentitude of alcohol he’d down before the world around him blended into a blurry mess.

He’s getting better.

It helps that he’s made friends, close friends even – close enough to move into an apartment with them – and that he’s currently surrounded by them. Jonas, Mahdi, and Magnus, all currently holding their beers up against each other’s, shouting skål! before clanging the glasses together. Isak hurries to follow them so they won’t notice his mind is elsewhere, even though he’s trying to force it not to be as he’s getting better.

This is going to be his year.

They’re at a private party held by some guy, Mikkel or something, who Magnus knows and who apparently used to attend Bakka, Isak’s not quite sure; he’d tuned out the story once it had lasted more than four minutes without Magnus actually giving any useful information. It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate Magnus, really, the guy is great, it’s just… things are hard and Magnus isn’t being all that helpful in relieving Isak from some of the stress he’s under.

The party’s in full swing, more people having shown up than were probably invited, but Magnus also brought the three of them along, so there’s that. It’s crowded and every possible seat in the room has been taken, so they’ve resorted to standing in a back corner in the living room awkwardly, barely any people there visible to them, and those who are, are either using their own corner to hook up in or are simply not noteworthy of interest. Not that Isak’s looking, because the gender the boys are looking at isn’t really what Isak would be looking at were he to look, which he isn’t. He just… can’t.

The boys are all scanning the crowd anyway, and Isak tries to mimic them; the way they’re looking at girls as if they’re on the hunt, and Isak feels his stomach churn because he needs more alcohol to be able to pretend to like girls for an entire night.

A girl tries to make eye contact with him; she’s pretty, he knows the boys would say gorgeous, with short, dark brown hair and revealing clothes. Emma, he knows her name is. This isn’t the first time she’s tried to get with him. He hurries to move his gaze down onto his feet. One shoe has a scuff mark. He tries to rub at it with his other shoe, but it doesn’t really do anything. God, he’d kill to have something stronger than beer right now, but he’s so anxious about drinking anything. He can’t go back to his old habits, can’t relapse, not when everything is starting to look up for him.

He’s not the type to babble when he’s completely piss drunk, but he can feel his heartbeat rise at the mere thought of accidentally revealing anything to the guys.

He takes a swig of his beer. This will have to do.

Jonas leans closer to him. “Go dance with her,” he says, nods towards Emma who is still looking at him, giving him a wide smile she probably thinks makes her looks seductive and makes Isak think she looks constipated, and Isak’s now trapped.

If he says no, Jonas will not only worry something’s going on, but will probably start to wonder why the hell Isak wouldn’t want to dance with a beautiful, willing girl, and Isak can’t have him put two and two together. He can’t, but if he says yes he’ll have to go dance and then the girl will get the wrong impression, and he also doesn’t want to do that when he has no intention of sneaking off to a bedroom or going home with her.

Thankfully he’s saved from having to do anything when Magnus returns from getting more beers. He’s bouncing all over the place and Isak can already feel his body slump from the relief of having the excuse of listening to Magnus talk about some girl he saw.

“Gutter!” Magnus practically shouts even though the volume of the music doesn’t necessarily call for it. “Guess who’s here!”

While Isak knows it’ll give him more time if they guess, literally none of them will have a clue as they didn’t attend the same high school and they only really started spending time together in the last couple of months of their first year in university, about half a year ago now. They know the basics about each other, of course; parents’ names, siblings, other close friends, but a long list of exes, or in Magnus’ case imaginary-exes, hasn’t been completed, meaning the guessing-game doesn’t last very long.

Magnus clearly isn’t bothered by this, though, as he’s practically bouncing off the walls in excitement. Isak can’t help but laugh a little bit because of him. It’s nice being around someone like that, sometimes.

Magnus’ eyes are sparkling and he’s spilling his beer everywhere when he suddenly leans really close to the three of them, as if about to tell a national secret.

“Even fucking Bech Næsheim is here!”

Magnus’ answer makes Isak’s blood freeze and leaves him wanting to curl up or throw up, he doesn’t know. All he hears is an echo of Even and he wants to bolt.

“What?”, “Serr?” he hears Mahdi and Jonas exclaim but he can’t think anything but, Even is here, why the fuck is Even here.

None of them really encourage Magnus in his world-famous-director-Even-Bech-Næsheim-obsession – the very same Even Bech Næsheim Isak has spent the last two years hopelessly and unsuccessfully trying not to think about – but they also don’t discourage him – all except Isak who sometimes can’t keep his temper and mouth in check – and he can tell how happy Magnus is from at least Jonas and Mahdi indulging him when he has a chance to meet his idol.

“What’s he doing here?” Isak can’t help but ask.

He sees, but he barely registers the warning glance Jonas sends him. He feels distanced from all of them, like he’s watching everything from someone else’s point of view, through someone else’s eyes.

“Apparently he knows the guy holding the party as well? They were like, best friends or something. Can you believe I know Even Bech Næsheim’s best friend from high school? How fucking crazy is that?!”

How fucking crazy, yeah, Isak can’t help but think and bottoms his beer.

“What should I say to him?” Magnus has apparently forgotten the open beer bottle in his hand because he’s swinging it left and right, “should I even say anything to him? Oh god, what if he doesn’t want attention brought onto him?”

Isak can’t help but snort. Yeah, fucking likely – what hasn’t Even done to get in the spotlight, Magnus should only know.

Jonas removes Magnus’ bottle when he nearly manages to dump it onto Jonas’ new shirt, putting it a bit harshly onto the table next to them.

“Of course you should talk to him!” Jonas encourages and Magnus preens since he got the answer he really hoped they would give him.

“But what should I say?”

“Just be cool,” Mahdi said, taking a swig of his beer, “just tell him you really enjoy his work and are looking forward to the next movie, and if he’d maybe like to give you an autograph.”

“Be polite,” Jonas supplies, “don’t be too desperate or come on too strong, you don’t want him to be scared of you.”

Magnus looks a mix between crestfallen and scared. “What if I mess up?”

Jonas and Mahdi quickly try to calm Magnus down and keep him from psyching himself out. Meanwhile Isak feels close to dying. He can’t catch his breath and the room is spinning and he’s nearly willing to jump out of the window. He can’t do this again. He can’t. He can’t see Even, he was getting better, he can’t-

He stumbles forward, catching the other boys’ attentions.

“What’s going on?” Jonas asks, glancing at him judgingly. Isak knows why, he hasn’t exactly masked his distaste of Even around the guys, and he knows Jonas is probably thinking he should be a better friend and help Magnus right now, because even though Isak isn’t a fan, Magnus is, and it is the least he could do as a friend.

But it’s not that simple, and Isak can’t tell him that.

He turns around to face the boys, now standing with his back against the crowd rather than the wall. “Sorry,” he slurs, tries to avoid their judging, shocked, and worried gazes, “I just… I’ve just got… I need to get a drink.”

Isak starts to back up as if he’s heading towards the kitchen backwards. Magnus pointedly glances at their full case of beer that Isak is leaving behind, clearly ready to question Isak about it, when Isak suddenly bumps into someone.

“Hey, be careful!” Someone shouts, not even the person Isak nearly managed to topple over. Both he and the person hurry to turn around, a ‘sorry’ already about to fall off Isak’s lips, and –

Isak feels faint and mentally swears at himself. Just his fucking luck.  

The one and only Even Bech Næsheim is standing in front of him, looking just as shocked as Isak presumes he himself looks.

Isak can’t help but note that he looks good; healthy and fucking gorgeous, wearing his now signature quiff and jean jacket, his right hand weakly clutching a glass of some drink, Isak doesn’t know, might just be beer. He can’t breathe; he feels like crying, thinks he might start any minute now. It’s not fair.

He vaguely registers Magnus’ gasp at the turn of the events and he notices the guy behind Even with the long brown hair staring at the two of them intensely. It’s Mikael’s party then, Isak can’t help but think. Mikael, not Mikkel. Not that he would have known the difference as he’s never actually met the guy.

Everything is so quiet. He can’t hear the party still going on, he can’t hear anything but the sound of his pulse rushing through his body, making him feel both queasy and dizzy and he’s ready to just sob.

“Isak,” Even finally breathes out, and Isak nearly chokes on his next breath, because, god, it’s been so long since he’s heard Even say his name, and it hurts, it fucking hurts, it feels like Even is breaking his heart all over again when he’d finally managed to tape the few remaining, uneven shards together into a puzzle with too many missing pieces.

Isak knows he’s opening and closing his mouth, gaping like a fish, but he can’t think, can’t breathe, and he ends up doing the thing he’d wanted to do since before he even heard Even was at the party.

He flees.

 Past

The day Isak meets Even is a shit one. Proper shit, even.

He’d forgotten all about the “creative” biology assignment due early tomorrow morning, and Elias and his friends had caught him unaware earlier today, and his body aches from their meeting, his eye slightly swollen and definitely a dark purple color by now.

The biology assignment, he can’t help but think, is the worst thing right now, though, as it’s way too late for him to be out on the streets of Oslo, let alone all alone in Birkelunden in the middle of Grünerløkka. He’s not quite sure why he’s chosen this park of all of them; it’s mostly used for entertainment and markets, but they have a variety of flowers planted around the park in small segments, and he’d hoped he would be able to just take a few pictures and then get to leave, but it’s getting so late by now and he still hasn’t managed to take enough pictures of these fucking plants.

He loves biology, he really does, just… maybe not so much this part of biology. The nature part.

He’s lying down on his stomach, feels the cold from the ground seep in under his shirt and hoodie, and he’s been trying to take a picture of these fucking flowers and their leaves for the past five minutes. He’s getting grumpier by the second as the flash on his phone only manages to blend out several features of the flowers, therefore making the picture unusable. He really needs to make this assignment his best one yet. A lot of things depend on this, amongst others his dad believing he’s adult enough to move away from home.

He’s about to snap another picture. This will be the shot, it has to be.

“Hey!” A voice startles him and makes him draw his phone close to his chest, shaking the picture leaving it a blurry mess.

Isak sighs. It would’ve been the shot as well.

The guy who’d shouted is standing right behind him, and Isak doesn’t feel alright with being splayed out on the ground in front of what appears to be a giant man, but if he moves he will never get the shot, so he stays down and instead twists his body to look at the guy.

“What?”

The guy is breathing heavily as if he’d been jogging, but he’s wearing regular clothes. Isak can’t help but direct his phone’s flashlight in the direction of the guy and his heart fucking stops.

The guy is gorgeous, absolutely stunning, with everything working for him from the height to the blond hair flopping down and pushed slightly to the side over his forehead, wearing a light bomber jacket with his hands stuffed into his pockets, figure slouching slightly as if he’s trying to appear cool and relaxed.

Isak knows his mouth is open, but he can’t seem to figure out how to close it.

“You’ll never get a good shot like that.”

Speak, Isak, you need to say something, right the fuck now!

“And you know everything about photography, do you?” Way to go and sound condescending. Great flirting technique, Isak, ten out of ten.

Luckily, the guy doesn’t take offence to Isak’s rudeness and instead slyly grins. “Obviously more than you do.”

Isak smiles but tries to disguise it with a scoff. “Please, I’m the master of taking pictures,” he says and turns back to the flowers.

The guy breathes out a short laugh and gently kicks at the dirt. “Is that why you’re using an iPhone?”

Isak grimaces. “I’m on a budget.”

That earns him a full blown out laugh, and Isak can’t help but feel triumphant even as he flushes under the guy’s attention.

They both fall silent and tall-guy goes back to his scuff mark. Isak doesn’t know what to say to fill the silence, the guy is a stranger after all, and he was the one to approach Isak, but Isak doesn’t really want this to be it – the only time he sees him. So he slowly uncurls his body from the ground, his stiff and cold limbs adding to the already existing aching in his body.

“It doesn’t really matter, anyway,” Isak says and pockets his phone, “I’m running out of plants here that aren’t just grass or the trunk of a tree. And the pictures I have of the other plants are way too dark or way too blurry.”

Tall guy only studies him for a moment without replying, and Isak starts to wonder if it was a good idea to just let this be and get the hell out of there.

Then he opens his mouth.

“What time is it?”

The question startles Isak. Not the question itself as it is rather common, but because of the context having no relevance to the question.

Isak fishes his phone out again and unlocks it. “21:21.”

Tall guy raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “Seriously?”

Isak only shrugs. He doesn’t really know what to make of this.

The guy stands still for a few moments longer as if evaluating or planning something. Then everything suddenly moves quickly.

“Come on, I’ll show you somewhere with plant life,” and then he starts walking away, not even looking back to see if Isak is following him.

Isak is frozen in place staring at tall guy’s back slowly moving further and further away from him.

He gives himself a moment to think what the hell, and then he follows.

OOOOO

“Somewhere with plant life” turns out to be The University’s Botanical Garden.

The tall guy stops outside of the closed gate before finally looking at Isak for the first time during their walk.

Isak shifts between glancing at the guy and the gate and ends up on the guy. “You do know they close at 9 o’clock?”

Again with the eyebrows and a smirk now as well is the only reply Isak is given before the guy is suddenly heaving his body up and over the gate.

Isak stares openly at the guy and starts to feel quite uncomfortable about all of this. What the hell is this guy doing?

Tall guy remains on top of the fence and awaits any reaction from Isak. When he’s given none he ends up asking, “Well, are you coming?”

Isak should go home, he can already feel himself shaking his head even though he doesn’t remember telling his brain to do it. This is stupid. Not only stupid, this is illegal. They’re sneaking into the Botanical Garden of all places and Isak tries to tell his legs to turn around and go home, to hell with the biology assignment.

But…

Before he even knows it, he’s trying to repeat the movements he just saw tall guy do as he climbed on top of the fence. Isak, however, clearly has no practice in breaking in anywhere and tall guy has to grab onto a hand and his sweatshirt to heave him up alongside with him.

Tall guy gives him a beaming smile and Isak offers one shakily back. His thighs are clenching and his hands are shaking and sweaty on the railing.

“This wasn’t so bad, was it?” Tall guy grins and starts to swing one leg over the top. Isak stares at him in horror as he thinks about all the different ways he could lose his balance and fall down to his death, but then becomes paralyzed with fear as he realizes he has to do that as well now.

The guy is clearly waiting for him, but Isak can’t unclench his thighs and it’s most definitely not only his arms shaking any longer.

“Um…” Isak mutters, trying to adjust his grip, “help?”

He can’t help but think about how Elias would’ve taken advantage of this moment and probably pushed him forcefully. Tall guy isn’t Elias, though, and Isak lets out a sigh of relief when Tall guy only offers him a shy smile and then grabs onto his hands to hold him stable.

“Now, just, lift your left thigh, yeah, just like that, well done.” Tall guy is full on smiling at him now, and he doesn’t know whether to keep his attention there or on the feel of warm hands holding his clammy ones.

Isak dares take a look down to where he needs to jump. It’s by no means far down, especially not with how tall he is, but he’s not exactly well-versed in the required movements and a injury seems more likely than not. Also there’s the fact that this is technically a break-in, which doesn’t sit well with Isak either.

“Don’t look down,” Tall guy says when he notices where Isak gaze is.

Isak meets the guy’s eyes and knows he’s revealing his inner turmoil of panicked thoughts. “Too late.”

The guy rolls his eyes but manages to look slightly fond rather than condescending.

“Okay, talk to me,” tall guy says, obviously trying to distract Isak instead. “Why are you taking pictures of plants in the middle of the night?”

Isak swallows and forces himself to keep his eyes on tall guy. “Biology assignment,” he manages to stutter out. “We have to take pictures and identify and categorize and stuff like that.”

Tall guy nods even though he appears incredibly uninterested in the science-part of Isak’s assignment.

“Okay,” he nods, shuffles closer to Isak along the railing. “Question, though. Why do it at night?”

“It’s due tomorrow,” Isak breathes and allows himself to be fully distracted. He can feel the guy’s heat radiate off him in waves. “Forgot about it.”

Tall guy nods, looks down, and then up again at Isak with a wicked smile. “Jump.”

He does.

Or, maybe not as much as he lets himself be pulled down along with the guy’s jump. The landing’s shaky, though, and his ankles hurt for a short moment as he loses his balance. He almost falls flat on his face, but tall guy crowds him against the fence and uses his own body to keep Isak’s upright. Isak knows he’s blushing, shit.

He knows tall guy sees it as well because his gaze linger a moment too long on his cheeks before he’s quickly moving back and clearing his throat.

Isak only has a moment to curse at his lack of ability to hide his sexuality before tall guy is giving him a wicked smile and saying, “Let’s go.”

They head to Great-granny’s Garden, the place filled to the brim with various flowers that Isak, once again, will have to get down on the ground, dirty and up-close, to take a picture of.

“So, your pictures are too dark or too blurry. Have you set your ISO settings?”

Isak can’t help but stare helplessly at tall guy. He only knows about iOS and that’s only because the salesman guy said it when he bought his phone. “My… what?”

Tall guy grins cheekily. “Oh, the master of photography doesn’t know how to set his ISO?”

“Master on a budget, remember,” Isak grins back.

“The iPhone has a built in ISO adjustment,” and Isak blushes again from not knowing.

Tall guy doesn’t say anything about it, though, only holds out his hand for Isak’s iPhone, and normally he’d be more careful with who he lets hold very expensive things he most definitely can’t afford to replace, but he hands it over willingly after entering the code and opening the camera.

Tall guy gets down on his knees next to a very small, white flower gathered in a bunch.

“Okay, look here,” he says and touches the screen and starts changing things faster than Isak can see. “The ISO is all about sensitivity to light. You can up the sensitivity when taking a very dark picture. It’ll make your photo grainy, because it’ll make a lot of noise, but you can always edit that out afterwards if you have the right programs.” Tall guy glances at Isak, who’s left gaping at tall guy rather than the screen. Tall guy nods for a few moments. “How about I just take a picture and show you.”

Isak nods slowly.

“How close do these need to be?” Tall guy asks as he positions himself onto the ground, steadying his elbows on the cold dirt.

“Quite close,” Isak mumbles, absentmindedly hoping tall guy doesn’t stain any of his clothes, “um, I really only need one flower and one of its leaves. It just needs to be clear enough to look at, and, things,” he ends stupidly, already cringing from his use of words.

Tall guy doesn’t say anything about it, though; he only takes a picture and then moves to show Isak.

Isak quickly and quietly sends a prayer to any deign who might be listening that he has nothing to embarrass him in his gallery.

“You see?” Tall guy asks, pointing at miniscule spots surrounding a very clear flower. “Noise because of the ISO.”

Isak nods, still not quite understanding, but deciding the leave it alone. Tall guy clearly knows what he’s doing.

“Could you,” he mumbles, not daring to look at tall guy, “could you maybe take a few more, please? Of different plants?”

He shouldn’t have asked for help, why the fuck would tall guy even want to help him. But, a traitorous voice in the back of his head supplies, he’s helped you so far, even broke in here with you, and Isak does not want to think about the fact that he’s currently committing a crime.

But tall guy only grins and shuffles over to the next flower, probably getting his shirt dirty in the process. Isak can’t afford to get it dry cleaned or buy him a new one entirely.

Tall guy doesn’t point it out though, he only snaps a few pictures, shows them to Isak for confirmation they’re good enough, before shuffling along and repeating the process. Isak’s left staring at him bewilderedly.

He can’t understand him, can’t fully comprehend what’s going on right now, and tall guy certainly isn’t helping by being nice and smiling widely at him every time he sees Isak’s looking at him. And every time Isak will blush and turn his head away, but will let himself look at Tall guy out of the corner of his eyes. His heart rate speeds up when he sees the expression Tall guy has; a softer look you probably shouldn’t show a stranger you’ve just met in the middle of the night.

Speaking of, he doesn’t know Tall guy, doesn’t even know his name, let alone why he’s wandering out and about in the middle of the night, even breaking and entering just to help Isak, and Isak doesn’t know why he’s letting him. He shouldn’t be here; not only because the Garden is closed, but because this is the exact scenario parents are supposed to warn you about when you’re little – maybe not exact as Isak’s sure not all parents specify the scenario enough to include not trusting a hot, tall stranger who will help them with their homework.

Isak’s so caught up in his mind that he doesn’t notice Tall guy has stopped taking pictures before he’s grabbing his arm, getting his attention.

“Wha-“ Isak beings only to be quickly hushed by Tall guy who hasn’t let up on his grip.

Isak’s about to freak out because this is the actual scenario parents warn their children about, oh god, he’s about to die because of a tall, hot stranger who will now kidnap and murder him, but then he hears it.

Footsteps.

And there, right behind a cluster of large bushes and trees, in between the branches and leaves.

A flashlight.

Tall guy starts pulling on Isak’s arm and it takes all Isak has to move his gaze away from the employee currently investigating the park they’re not supposed to be in to look at Tall guy.

He doesn’t know what he expects, maybe for Tall guy to be as freaked out about this as Isak is since he definitely does not need to have the police be involved in his everyday life, but Tall guy’s eyes are full of life and excitement and he has a wide, devious grin on his face.

“Follow me,” he mouths, and Isak can’t even let himself take a moment to relish in the view of Tall guy’s lips, before he begins to, as silently as possible, army crawl after Tall guy, both trying to keep an eye on the employee and where they’re going  to minimize the chance of an accident occurring.

It doesn’t work though, as Tall guy somehow with his long limbs manages to bang into a garbage can, the loud clanging resonating through the air, the echo of it only being louder from the lack of any other noise.

Isak can feel his heart beating in his throat and everything is frozen for a second, but only for a second, because then, all hell breaks loose.

“Hey!” The guy shouts and then they hear footsteps running towards them.

“Run!” Tall guy shouts at Isak, hauling him up by his arm, and they’re off.

They don’t stop through anything, and Tall guy keeps his hold on Isak, making sure they’re not separated. They fly through bushes, flowers, archways, Isak manages to earn himself a couple of scratches when he attempts to run by a bush filled with thorns.

Isak doesn’t know his way around the Garden, doesn’t really spend a lot of time here, if he’s being perfectly honest, but Tall guy seems to know his way around, because before Isak knows it, they’re at the gate again, and Tall guy helps Isak get up and down, thankfully a lot quicker than they were last time.

Isak nearly twists his ankle when he lands on the pavement, but Tall guy somehow manages to pull him up right before any actual damage is done.

“Get back here!” The employee shouts after them, clearly out of breath.

“Go, go, go!” Isak shouts and pushes Tall guy in the direction they’re facing, no idea where they actually are, just knowing they need to move, now, goddammit.

They fly through the streets of Oslo, avoiding the few cars they find during the late hour, giggling like fools every time they escape a possible near-death experience that never had them in any danger at all.

“Fuck,” Isak laughs when they finally stop, doubled over and trying to breathe, he’s so out of breath and makes a mental note to work harder in P.E.

Tall guy is leaning against the wall of the building, hands running through his hair as he laughs along with Isak, gasping in between each breath.

Turns out they were headed in an alright direction, Isak realizes, as he’s only about fifteen minutes of a brisk walk away from home.

“That was stupid,” Isak gasps, standing up-right again.

Tall guy huffs out a laugh but nods along to Isak’s statement. “But a lot more fun than what I thought this night was going to be.” He rummages through his jacket’s pockets before finally pulling out Isak’s phone, holding it out to him.

And Isak feels his stomach drop, because for not even an hour, Jesus, he’d managed to forget that this isn’t his life, Tall guy isn’t a part of his daily routine, he’s a guy he met in a park in the middle of a night and who has given him an anecdote no one will believe happened, and he’s a guy he’s never going to see again.

Fuck.

“Well, guy whose name I’ve yet to be told, I’ve never been so happy to meet someone in my entire life.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Isak rolls his eyes as he grabs his phone. He tries to make time pass slower, to extend his time with Tall guy before the goodbye by inspecting his phone for any possible injuries it could’ve sustained during the chase scene.

Neither of them say anything, though, and Isak feels like time has run out and they’re only trying to ignore the blaring alarm.

“That was a hint, by the way,” Tall guy says, and Isak can’t help but look up confused at him.

“Huh?”

Tall guy smiles and rolls his eyes extravagantly and dramatically to show Isak he’s not actually annoyed. “To tell me your name.”

Isak can feel the blood fill out his cheeks, coloring his face red, as he stutters out noises unintelligibly, before finally managing to utter his name. “Isak Valtersen.”

Tall guy stops leaning against the wall and stands at his full height. “Well, Isak Valtersen, pleasure to meet you,” he says and holds out his hand, “Even Bech Næsheim.”

He has a name, Tall guy has an actual string of noises that he identifies himself with and Isak knows them now and he commits them to his memory to never be forgotten as he grabs Even’s hand and shakes it.

“Where do you live?” Even asks him, and Isak points to the left and answers.

And of course, Even lives a few streets away the opposite direction of where Isak’s going.

So this is it. This is the end of his meeting with Even Bech Næsheim, a boy he knows absolutely nothing about even though he wants to, and he will never have the chance to.

But Even doesn’t leave, not even when Isak backs up a few steps backwards as to not be the one to look away and walk away first.

Even only stares at him thoughtfully, though, and Isak both wants and doesn’t want to ask what’s up, but he doesn’t get a chance to before Even’s apparently made up his mind.

“If I’m right,” Even begins, taking a small step in Isak’s direction, “meet me at Kaffebrenneriet on Markveien this Thursday at 4 o’clock.” Another step.

The tips of their feet knock together by the time Even stops walking. Isak can feel the heat radiating off of him as he looks up into his eyes.

“Right about what?” Isak manages to breathe out. His heart is racing.

Even gently takes a hold of Isak’s face, thumb gently sweeping over a cut on his cheek. “This,” Even whispers as he bends down and kisses Isak.

Next part

[celticheartedfangirl]

My OUAT Rewatch -- S6E10 -- Wish You Were Here

Link to Rewatch Review and Ranking archive

This episode was glorious.  GLORIOUS.  I mean yeah, there are nits to pick at and I’ll certainly do that, but this was basically a Swan Queen fanfic come to life with Princess Emma and her “Prince” -- er -- Queen -- and the CS fans went totally apeshit and it was BEAUTIFUL.

BEAUTIFUL.

No game show today -- Emma’s supposed to look like that, and she even slams herself for it.  Like I said . . . . . GLORIOUS.  And Emma wants Regina to have the “key to her kingdom.” ACTUAL LINE on the show.  Bless.  

It took them TEN episodes this season to get to an episode that didn’t make me bored or stabby or just say “well this isn’t THAT bad” -- I mean the ratings are below 1.0 at this point due to 9 episodes of utter bullshit, but at least we see the light at the end of the tunnel?  Sort of?

Also this guy.  Come on in, the only thing being dragged in here are the writers, the CS fans, and the utter stupidity of the logic of the Wish Realm . . . . . which we will have MORE fun with in S7!

Okay, first of all -- let’s link this BEAUTIFUL post paralleling Sleeping Beauty and her prince to Emma and Regina . . . . 

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/180498595422/frankie-blue-sq-sleeping-beauty-prince-phillip

So before the nitpicking starts, lets discuss the things I enjoyed:

1.  Swan Queen OBVIOUSLY

2.  Rumbelle FINAL-FUCKING-LY having a conversation and not being a pile of OOC bullshit.  I still have nits to pick at that -- but they’re tiny nits and being starved for content after being fucked over by the writers for THREE YEARS now I’ll take what I can get.  Which is sad but it is what it is.  So the content wins over the nits to pick.  For now.

3.  Okay, I enjoyed much of the Wish Realm.  I mean -- I have nits there too and those I WILL pick at, but most of that will be in S7.  But at THIS POINT -- it was about 85% fun, 15% bullshit.  See below for bullshit.  

So that I enjoyed.  It was truly the first episode of this season that I consider to be, overall, actually GOOD.  Good writers should not have their first quality episode in their SIXTH SEASON to be halfway into said season, but these are not good writers so is anyone really surprised?  Also, I pointed out after EPISODE FOUR that the writers had already switched gears by killing off one of their touted S6 villains so I’m presuming, aside from Aladdin and Jasmine, that the rest of the Land of Untold Stories will REAMAIN untold because the writers have the attention span of a gnat and suck at follow through.  Am I correct?

(Oh lord I’m SO GLAD A&E never got their hack hands on THAT.  Can you even imagine?)

So aside from Agrabah stuff, say bye to the Untold Stories.  Perhaps you will be found on A&E’s AMAZING STORIES that is currently hiding on Apple+TV with zero accolades or attention.  Which is really what they deserve.  

One more nit to pick at the writers -- can you please -- PLEASE stop with the rape stuff?  Look . . . . we all know that you have some sort of fetish for female rapists, you already have two of them in canon and you’ll be adding a third in S7.  STOP.  Its gross.  Its never addressed the way it should be.  So the Evil Queen making rape suggestions to Aladdin, and the only response from him is “ew” and its played at FUNNY?

I mean if this were the first time the show had ever done anything like this, MAYBE it could have come off as a comedic moment.  MAYBE.  But in S6, after a long history of rapey shit?  Nope.  

Okay . . . . . onto the CS fan stuff . . . . now this IS funny, and it may take a while . . . . . 

I think by now, anyone reading these reviews, present or future, if you’ve gotten this far, you GET that I’m not a Hook fan or a CS fan.  But I’m not really sure if you understand just HOW BAD it was while this show was originally airing.  And since we’ve now hit THE episode where the CS fandom lost their collective shit in the most ridiculous way possible, I think this is a good point to explain -- especially for those who weren’t there during the original run -- what was up with this.

See, the CS fans, once S4 started, got collectively more annoying with every episode.  And it wasn’t just the general fans -- although they WERE bad -- they had a handful of ringleaders that were just flat out AWFUL people that would hijack the posts of fans of Rumbelle or Swan Queen or Swanfire and just tear into them for no reason.  And if they couldn’t hijack because they were blocked, they’d screen cap and proceed to harass on their own blogs.  This was a DAILY occurrence. DAILY.  For THREE YEARS.  Also, many of us are very certain that the IMDB boards got shut down -- ALL OF THEM -- because of an especially rabid CS fan that went there for no purpose other than trolling, and there was no option to block on IMDB like on Tumblr.   

Also, the CS fans had the support of the media.  Every media outlet was up CS’s ass by S4, deserved or not.  It was VERY difficult to find any outlet that said positive things about Rumbelle or Swan Queen, and when we did it was cause for a tear-filled celebration of joy and relief.  And this RARELY happened.

Also, there was one particular reporter for Entertainment Tonight, Leanne Aguilera, who was so far up CS and A&E’s ass that she probably qualified as a legitimate hemorrhoid.  She liberally blocked Rumbelle and Swan Queen fans on Twitter and wanted NOTHING to do with us.  So when she’d “ask for questions” on Twitter for interviews, of fucking COURSE they were all going to be CS questions, because EVERYONE ELSE was blocked by her!  

Lastly, ABC’s official social media everything was CS this and CS that.  They promoted the shit out of them, non-stop, and did so without apology.  And Adam, one of the head show runners, mostly ignored fans of Rumbelle and Swan Queen on Twitter, but he’d HAPPILY engage with the CS fans.  DAILY.  

Also, we non-CS fans were told -- repeatedly -- to shut up or stop watching if we didn’t like what we were seeing.  They heaped praise upon praise to Adam and the writers and thought that we were the most horrible people on the planet for even DARING to challenge their brilliant skills.  

So knowing all of THAT . . . . after this episode . . . . which was basically a Swan Queen love letter . . . . . the CS fans LOST THEIR SHIT.  Here are some of the glorious results of that . . . . . . . 

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154091883637/omg-that-episode-swan-queen-af-tribute-to

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154061253177/c-fans-being-obtuse-as-fuck-on-twitter-this

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154088222312/and-the-hits-just-keep-on-coming

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154075793467/honest-question-are-the-disgruntled-c-fans

Please make it a point to check out the replies in that last one because some of them are BEAUTIFUL, and also there is a flat out HIJACK of that post that pefectly illustrates all of the bullshit that I just laid out for you here.  Eh, I’ll make it easy for you -- here’s the hijack -- with comments:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154118960442/honest-question-are-the-disgruntled-c-fans

Okay . . . . the wish realm . . . . here are the 15% of things that I call bullshit on:

So Neal/Baelfire is dead in EVERY REALM.  Whee.  We get it.  But also . . . . if he was IN this realm, then why would Rumple need to be searching for him via dark curse?  Makes no sense.

Speaking of Rumple -- in S2 he said he was NOT trapped and could have escaped any time he wanted to, he just didn’t want to.  So WTF?

Why is Henry still named HENRY?  

Why is the Wish Robin Hood YOUNG -- he should be the same age as Snow and Charming. 

Now I know that A&E had some bullshit explanation, which some people bought, but going into S7 -- it’s just stupid.  STUPID.  

Finally, I made a post after this episode -- which TANKED in the ratings, BTW -- that I’d like to share:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/154082059462/so-the-ratings-tanked-last-night-for-ouat

I stand by that post.  And frankly, I think I was RIGHT about the rest of S6.  And everything else.  

Points tally:

40 points to start

5 points for Swan Queen

3 points for the implied Swanfire

1 point for in character Belle -- I personally don’t feel she’s THERE yet, but A for effort

5 points for in character Rumple

5 points deducted for Hook

Despite the nits to pick, I can’t deduct anything more and I’ll give this one the 25 bonus because it’s really pulled the show out of its slump.

Total points:  74

Follow #celtichearted OUAT ranking tag for more to come!

[clearlynotjanus]

Moceit Appreciation Week :: Baking

Read on Ao3

Art by @nonchimerical​

tag list: @sanderssidesangsttrash @catalinaacosta @whatishappeningrightnow @the-snekwhisperer-world @varthandi @the-dead-and-the-decaying @serpentinesomebody ​

CW: Food mention, moral ambiguity Word Count: 2327 Genre: Hurt/Comfort Rating: Gen Ships: Moceit, implied if you squint Dukeceit

To support my writing & get access to exclusive content not posted anywhere else, consider subscribing to my Patreon.

          The flower shaped cookies sat mockingly on the stove, having long gone cold. Two tubs of white frosting had been placed on the counter with some food dye as well. Many times he had second guessed the unassuming vials of concentrated hue--was it too much? Just as many times he had stood, picked up a frosting container, rolled it in his hands, picked at the aluminum before convincing himself not to peel it back, not to sink his finger in, not to cope with Janus’ absence by consuming a gluttonous amount of sugar. 

          He’ll show, of course he would. Janus hadn’t forgotten or … ditched him like that before. Just because he was preoccupied with something beforehand doesn’t mean he was forcing himself to come, forcing himself to spend time with him, indulging him, patronizing him … Janus would never, he enjoyed stuff like this! Even if … even if it was just for the sweets. 

          “Oh dear,” Patton inhaled between his sugar-coated teeth, shaking his head down at the demolished tub of vanilla frosting.

          “Am I interrupting?” Patton jumped, hiding the nearly empty container behind his back, looking exactly like Pooh Bear after a honey binge, Janus thought. 

          “Janus!” Patton greeted, a little too much excitement and anxiety in his voice. “N-no, of course not, I was just,” He faltered, glancing at the cookies like they held an easier way of saying, I was waiting for you, thanks for not breaking my heart.

          “...Testing the frosting?” Janus teased, easing into the kitchen, amusement sly on his lips.

          “Yeah! Something, hah, something like that.” Patton chuckled down at the floor, a shoulder shrugging as he apprehensively brought the evidence forward. He weighed it nervously in one hand before grinning at Janus. “I guess it’s a good thing we had two containers!”

          “Mm,” He hummed down at his hands as he peeled his gloves off. A rare occurrence of course, but having spent plenty of time baking together, one Patton had at least slightly adjusted to. A patch of shiny scales that spread from Janus’ left knuckle up to his wrist gleamed with the movement of folding his gloves neatly on the counter. Occupied with the curiosity Patton felt observing something so … pretty, he didn’t notice Janus reaching with a bare thumb to wipe away a sizable glob of sugar from the side of Patton’s mouth until the sensation jogged him out of thought. Janus looked down at it before placing it between his own teeth. Despite the way Patton’s mouth gaped, Janus continued to delicately scrape the sugar onto his tongue. “A good thing, indeed.” He smirked at Patton, satisfied with watching the glow of his grin quickly turn into a scarlet blush. 

          “Y-yeah,” Patton breathed, absolutely dumbstruck as Janus turned towards the stove. Relieved at no longer being scrutinized so closely, his head fell; cool palms pressed to his burning cheeks and a ragged breath was pulled in as quietly as he could manage. Dully he registered the sound of bowls being placed on the counter, but they didn’t make sense through the ringing in his ears. 

          His thoughts raced in circles as he tried to decode the meaning behind that flirtatious gesture. Patton wasn’t stupid of course, but he was an expert at assuming far too much of others’ words and actions; a pro at falling in love with basic kindness. The habit made him think at least four times over about everything ever since Thomas’ last heart crushing break up. Janus had to know that, right? And if he did, that made him really mean, didn’t it? Why then, did Patton enjoy it so much?

          “...cold now, the frosting will be easier, right?” Janus paused for Patton to answer, setting the dye vials next to some arbitrarily chosen bowls. When the other didn’t respond, Janus turned just as Patton’s hands fell in a cartoonish motion. Janus caught the action in a blur, shaking his head back with a quirked brow. Patton blinked, eyes wide before catching up to the moment. 

          “Y-yeah, yes!” He nodded, again too eagerly, and assumed his position at the stove next to Janus.

          “Wonderful,” Janus clapped his hands softly together at his chest. “This should be easy then,” He observed as he turned his head to smile at Patton in a way that had red climbing up his neck again.

          Patton forced himself to inhale through his teeth and focus on the moment instead of how close they were standing.

          “Thanks for getting the bowls,” Patton reached to place the vial of yellow dye in one before handing it to Janus. Reaching for a bowl of his own, Patton realized he didn’t know which color he wanted to start with. There were so many to choose from! Patton tapped his chin as Janus took the remaining tub of frosting. The signature sound of the aluminum being pulled back accompanied the rest of Patton’s sentence, which was mumbled almost shyly. “I wasn’t sure if you would think mixing the dyes was too much effort.”

          “Says the person who insists on making the dough from scratch every time,” Janus snorted easily as he dolloped a spoonful of frosting in his own bowl, and then Patton’s. Patton bowed his head with a small bit of shame, but smiled at the way Janus teased him. “I know what I’m getting into every time I join you,” Janus continued, squeezing a couple drops of yellow into his bowl. Somehow Janus made the sound of a fork scraping against porcelain repeatedly not annoying. Patton didn’t know how he managed that; it always seemed like the second he held a utensil near anything, annoying noise was unavoidable. 

          “I guess that’s true,” Patton mumbled, finally settling on starting with purple. He planned to do a few of everyone’s favorite colors and let them know they were on the counter for the taking. Well, except yellow and green of course. Janus always did his and Remus’ himself. Carefully he squeezed a couple drops of blue and red into his bowl, tongue poking out the side of his mouth; Paton’s telltale sign of concentration. Knowing this, Janus let a few moments pass in silence as he began artfully scraping his pastel yellow mixture into a ziplock bag, which would eventually have its tip cut off to make piping the frosting onto the perfectly shaped cookies that much easier. 

          As Janus finished with that, Patton beamed at his perfectly purple colored frosting. The color had come out flawlessly, his concentration paying off well. “Making some for Virgil?” Janus asked conversationally as he held a ziplock bag open for Patton to begin spooning his mixture into. 

          “And Roman and Logan, of course,” Patton assured with a smile of appreciation as his tongue poked out once more.

          “Of course,” Janus sassed but fell silent again as he watched Patton make sure he got every inch of the frosting inside the bag. He wondered how Patton ever did this without him. Had Roman helped? He couldn’t imagine the superfluous Prince capable of staying still long enough to hold a bag like this. The idea of Logan helping was almost comedic. Perhaps Virgil then … The two did get on very well and the brood had a history of helping Janus in the kitchen, years ago.

          “Alright! Next color,” Patton cheered. Janus’ smile twitched and he busied himself with folding the bag of purple, squeezing out the air to be placed on the counter for later.

          The bowls were placed in the sink and the process was repeated with a couple of clean ones, now with Janus mixing the forest green with a hint of yellow to achieve the Duke’s signature lime color. He watched as Patton used about half the tube of blue for Logan’s indigo shade, complaining all the while that it wasn’t dark enough and looked too much like his own favorite baby blue. 

          Janus hummed as he observed it; it was true, the color was far too light. “Try a couple drops of this,” He offered, reaching and handing Patton the unopened bottle of black food coloring. 

          “Black?” Patton said almost indignantly. His bottom lip jutted out an inch as he looked down at the bottle, turning it in his hand.

          “Well, he likes dark blue, doesn’t he?” Janus questioned, wondering how on earth he could have offended Patton with the color black.

          “I guess…” He trailed off, glancing between the bottle and the pretty light blue in the bowl. “It’s just…” Patton paused, realizing his thought was a bit silly, but it felt like a good question. Janus never made him feel stupid for asking things at least, even if the answer seemed obvious. “Logan’s … on our side, isn’t he?” Janus quirked a brow, his expression devoid of amusement suddenly. “L-like, mine and …. and Roman’s… I mean.”

          Silence hung in the air for several seconds. Patton had begun regretting the question; usually, Janus had some sort of answer immediately. His mind was much faster than his, able to connect things instantly where Patton couldn’t even begin to see a relation. His explanations were always succinct, at least to him. This sort of pause was … rare, if not unheard of. He anxiously rolled the bottle in his hands, wishing he could just sink out and leave.

          Janus started with a quiet click of his tongue as his head turned to look at the wall behind the stove. “Since when is color indicative of that sort of thing,” Janus mused rhetorically. Another pause ensued and Patton wasn’t quite fast enough to draw his own conclusion from that line alone. He did start to wonder, however, if he had managed to hurt Janus’ feelings, and if that was why he was reluctant to answer.

          “Yellow doesn’t exactly scream evil, does it,” Janus said with too much venom on his tongue as he looked back at Patton and jabbed a hand almost violently at the bright gloves resting on the counter. Patton held the bottle to his chest, shrinking away as Janus’ anger showed. He didn’t like when Janus got angry, but he at least understood it. He knew he could be frustrating.

          “Neither does bright green, right?” Janus tilted the bowl towards Patton unnecessary before sighing. “Your side, my side,” He mumbled, walking away from the counter. Patton frowned at the ground as Janus reigned his frustration in. 

          He had a point. Yellow was bright and happy; the sun was yellow, dandelions, sunflowers … lots of good things were yellow; and green was everywhere. Not exactly the Duke’s shade of green, but green nonetheless, Patton guessed. Why had he never noticed it before? Between everyone, only he and Roman wore bright colors, but that didn’t make Virgil, in his black hoodie and equally black jeans, any less good than either of them! What did that mean for yellow and green then, if even a color as dark as indigo was to be considered light?

          “I’m sorry,” Patton sighed, shoulders deflating. He cautiously approached Janus’ back.

          “No, no,” Janus muttered, fingers pressed to his brow with a thumb on his cheek, a hand on his hip as he berated himself for showing so much of his aggravation. “I shouldn’t have gotten so upset.”

          “I get it,” Patton’s tone smiled bitterly as he hesitatingly placed a hand on Janus’ shoulder. “I’m really frustrating and ask stupid questions sometimes.”

          “Pat…” Janus turned his head to frown at Patton. “That’s not…”

          “Forget I asked anything,” he squeezed Janus’ shoulder and nodded towards the cookies on the stove. “C’mon, we should finish up.”

          Janus stared at the wear on Patton’s face for a long moment. The air was sweet and not just because of the frosting on Morality’s teeth. There he went, hurting Patton again. Would he ever be able to stop?

          “Sure,” Janus deflated and reached up to place a hand over Patton’s on his shoulder. For a moment, Patton’s facade fell and the surprise in his expression was genuine, but the slip was only quick enough for Janus to catch. 

          The familiar routine continued, now silently as Janus scooped Remus’ green into a bag. Patton stared down at the black dye in his hand but only paused briefly before tearing it open and poising the tip above the bright blue frosting. Janus held his breath and it seemed Patton was doing the same.

          “I’m sure Log--” Janus started, about to reassure Patton with the idea that Logan would enjoy a cookie no matter its color, but was interrupted by two black globs falling into the bowl finally. Janus closed his mouth and watched from the side of his vision as Patton began mixing the color thoroughly; slowly at first, and then as the blue darkened to a familiar indigo, faster. 

          “Oh,” Patton sighed, soon smiling down at the bowl of perfect Logan-colored frosting. “It’s perfect,” He grinned at Janus, seeming to instantaneously forget their altercation.

          Janus’ smile back was softer, much more relieved than anything. “It is,” he nodded and reached for a bag to hold open once more. When Patton had finished scooping the frosting inside and Janus had turned to place the bag with the other two, Morality paused.

          “Thanks,” He mumbled to Janus’ back, hoping he would attribute the sudden appreciation to helping with Logan’s color. Really, Patton wasn’t quite sure what it was he realized, but he did realize something about the black and white way he viewed everyone; and that was thanks to Janus, as usual.

          Janus ran his hands over the ziplock bags laying atop each other. Yellow, purple, green, indigo, soon to have light blue and red together with them. The colors didn’t mean anything, even if they were obviously representative of a specific person here. Sure, they could theorize all day about why each color, but what did it matter? A little darkness in someone didn’t make them all bad, obviously.

          “Of course, dear.”

Chapter One || Chapter Three

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Four (23.52% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Loads of fun, though tonally dissonant; works best on first viewing. Easily the superior film of the Thor franchise, though that’s not a huge achievement considering its predecessors.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Sigh.

Female characters:

Hela.

Scrapper 142 (I know, she is credited as Valkyrie, but since the name is never used to address her in the film it doesn’t count by the rules of this blog; if she didn’t happen to be referred to by her scrapper number a few times, she wouldn’t count as a named character at all).

Topaz.

Natasha Romanoff.

Male characters:

Thor.

Surtur.

Skurge.

Loki.

Stephen Strange.

Odin.

Volstagg.

Hogun.

The Grandmaster.

Carlo.

Korg.

Bruce Banner.

Heimdall.

OTHER NOTES:

The use of Immigrant Song is my favourite thing about this movie, to be honest. I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just such a good choice.

The inclusion of Doctor Strange in this film feels like a pointless misstep, a distraction at what is really a vital early point in establishing tone, especially considering this useless scene is what leads us in to...

...the literal death of Odin and introduction of Big Bad Hela, all of which should be emotional and intense and is instead flat and dissonant in the extreme. Watching this for the first time, I was very concerned that the whole film was just gonna end up gimmicky and soulless. While it does pick up, I was also not wrong about that early assessment.

Not that I was attached to Thor’s friends from the previous films, but they sure do just kill them off without fanfare, except for Sif who just doesn’t appear at all (logically, we should assume she dies off-screen, otherwise there’s no reason for her not to be up-front with Thor at the end of the movie). Fandral doesn’t even get a line in before he croaks, that’s how irrelevant these franchise-veteran characters are. Emotional engagement in plot and character is for chumps, anyway.

*whispers* Jeff Goldblum is here.

“Piss off, ghost!”

Hulk reveal is pretty solid, if you manage not to have been spoiled (a tall order, since it was in the promos).

Heimdall is still the MVP of the Thor franchise.

Can’t believe it took this long for any movie to squeeze some real fun and heart out of the Hulk character. This is way better than embarrassingly forcing a love match on him.

The valkyrie-battle memory is soooo good-looking.

This movie is too recent to be using the word ‘gypsy’...

Thor’s story about Loki pretending to be a snake when they were kids is the good shit.

But, Immigrant Song is still the most inspired choice of the film. Not sorry.

So, this is one of those movies which I felt was pretty over-hyped, to be honest. It is great fun, don’t get me wrong, it’s fresh and hilarious and subversive and way the Hell better than the previous Thor films, plus it has a great cast and strong visuals and they used Immigrant Song really effectively...but the tone of the film is an absolute fucking mess, the plotting is a shambles, and there’s nowhere near as much heart and weight underpinning it all as what there should be for a movie involving the near-total destruction of an entire civilisation. The majority of the movie is handed over to a shenanigan-heavy side-plot of no consequence to the central conflict, while the central conflict - LITERAL RAGNAROK - is relegated to a handful of scenes sprinkled across the film, obliterating any chance of it seeming meaningful or even particularly serious. The strongest point of the story is the final act, once Thor and company finally get to Asgard to confront Hela, but the narrative doesn’t earn that strong finish; it just goes to show how much more engaging the rest of the film could have been if they had stayed on track.

This is a big part of why this movie - while a delightful surprise on first viewing - doesn’t age particularly well on repeat; this was my fourth time through, and by the third quarter, as Sakaar draaaagged through its roster of jokes and pratfalls, my attention span was waning fast. Even if the entire garbage-planet sidebar was not distracting from what should have been a very serious main plot, I’m not sure it would remain engaging long-term, since it is rather spare and low on emotional/character investment; it’s not a pitfall of comedy that has to exist (heavily-emotional and/or dark comedies are definitely a real thing), but unfortunately, this is not a movie that is very interested in what has come before it, and it expresses that disinterest by neglecting any element of the established Thor mythology which might have brought this plot a sense of meaning. As such, rather than feeling like ‘the Thor movie that finally got it right’, it’s more like a reboot, with old characters unceremoniously ditched and any sense of purpose or import in old story threads or histories gone right alongside Asgard itself.

I’ve seen people praise this film for its ‘anti-Imperialism, anti-colonialism’ message, but I feel it’s a point weakly made onscreen; any depth to that argument would require a more sincere effort from the script in addressing those scant Asgard scenes, and as such, I feel that this element - though it isn’t completely wishful thinking - is much more in the eye of the beholder than it is a function of the narrative itself. The attempt to engage with any thoughtful discussion on Asgard’s legacy is a swift casualty of the film’s overall superficiality, just the same as the devastation of Asgard and the decimation of its population is blithely underplayed because, hey, Thor vs Hulk is worth way more attention than genocide, right? It’s that tonal dissonance in the two pieces of the plot which keeps me from really relaxing and enjoying the lightness, because that lightness is both excessive and out-of-place; I feel uncomfortable being asked to just shrug and go with it, I want to be emotionally involved and moved by the plight of the Asgardians, and instead I’m stuck watching Thor get a haircut and an eyeful of Hulk dick. Under almost any other circumstances, I would be all about a hard-comedy version of Thor, especially after the generic drudgery of the earlier installments in the franchise, but at the same time as Ragnarok? Not so much.

That said? This film is definitely not without quality. Comedic quality, for sure (anything with Taika Waititi’s name attached is worth a look), and there really are some great casting flourishes (though I maintain disappointment that the Asgard plot is so undersold, because it means Karl Urban and especially Cate Blanchett are under-utilised); for the interests of this blog, it’s that Scrapper 142 aka Valkyrie who forms the highlight (and she’s a worthy highlight without the context of this blog, too). Valkyrie’s drunk, angry sauntering and her snappy disregard for Thor’s righteous pontificating positions her within an archetype normally restricted to male characters only, too loose and unseemly for a female character, who might be found dislikeable and (horror of horrors) too sloppy to be sexy, whereas a man in the same archetype is funny, a ‘lovable asshole’, and the perception of his appearance is not tied up in his behaviour the same way nor is he under the same pressure to prioritise his appeal for the audience in the first place. Angry male drunkards who begrudgingly tag along with the protagonist in the end because they’re surly but not bad, those are a dime a dozen, but a woman in the same position? A rare gem indeed. And Valkyrie is more than just a fresh twist on an old cliche; her personality is grounded, it has a relatable simplicity (disillusionment with a side-order of survivor’s guilt), and there’s a confidence about the way she and the unspoken parts of her life are presented, without need to force a connection with Thor and his personal plight in order to justify Valkyrie’s actions or relevance to the plot. She’s an entirely self-contained character who could just as easily have the story to herself with no further mention of Thor et al., and that’s the hallmark of any well-constructed character: the ability to stand alone.

As a whole, this movie is far from bad - when I call it overrated, I am very much talking about the fact that it’s mostly a string of shenanigans with minimal narrative underpinning, and while that’s not a terrible thing in itself, I do think the hype around this movie implied that it had something more to offer than just laughs and a retro look. For me personally, the lack of emotional engagement and character stakes is close to a fatal flaw, and so while I enjoy this movie on a superficial level, it gives me nothing I need in order to really dig it (for others, obviously, this is not a problem). It always rubs me the wrong way to see something completely disavow previous chapters in the same story - there’s a big difference between developing an idea in a new direction, and simply ditching whatever you didn’t like about what came before - and I would have preferred to see this film make its changes with at least a modicum of respect for the foundations it is building upon (basic as the previous Thor films were, they weren’t catastrophic embarrassments). And yes, ultimately, the burying of the Ragnarok plot under a pile of Planet Garbage (feat. Jeff Goldblum) is just a little unforgivable in my mind, and it’s the first thing I think of whenever this film pops up; I really, really wish that Ragnarok were not part of this plot at all, that the Sakaar part of the story (i.e. the part that The Powers That Be were actually invested in, clearly) formed the bulk of the second film in the Thor franchise instead, since that movie basically sucked and took itself too seriously, and then the Thor film which took itself seriously could have been actually about Ragnarok. Basically, I wish that Marvel had gotten their shit together sooner rather than later with this part of the franchise, because while this worked out fine for them monetarily, narratively it’s just not a step I can get behind.

[winsister91]

Looks Better On The Floor

Part of the SOWINFREDSISIE Celebration!

Summary: @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid asked: Happy 500 to you both! For my request I was thinking Sam/Dean find you getting ready for bed wearing the other brother’s shirt. As their girlfriend they give you a reminder of whose clothes you should be wearing to bed. Or not wearing, I mean naked is good. *wink wink nudge nudge* I wrote for Dean and @sofreddie wrote for Sam: It’s Just A Shirt

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam (mentioned)

Warnings: Fluff, language, implied smut

Word Count: 903

My Masterlist!

~ Dean and forever tags are open! ~

Dean was splayed out on the motel bed. He clicked away on a remote with pouted lips as he flicked through the TV channels. He had no interest in what was on though, he was just killing time. His eyes darted to the left to glance at the bathroom door, it was still shut, the sound of streaming water slightly audible on the other side. He sighed impatiently, moving his eyeline back to the TV. He settled on some random action flick, the kind that was all explosions and no plot, so it didn’t take Dean long to work out what was going on. Bad Guy had taken Pretty Girl hostage and Good Guy had tracked them down. First there’d be a car chase, then a gun fight, Good Guy wins and kisses the girl. The defining factor on how good the film was, would be how many explosions it could insert during that time. Dean nodded in approval when he saw his third in ten minutes. It was the kind of film he’d enjoy most watching with you, cuddled up in bed or on a sofa with copious amounts of beer and popcorn, the both of you ripping into how ridiculous it was and providing your own ‘comedic gold’ commentary.

Dean’s ears pricked up when he heard the familiar squeak of the shower being turned off. His eyes darted again to the door, which still remained firmly shut. He shuffled up a bit in anticipation. Then incoming moment was a small pleasure of his, one of the highlights of you both being out on a hunt together. Dean knew that shortly, you were going to emerge from the bathroom freshly showered. Your hair would be still damp and tousled from being towel dried, and you would be wearing one of his old shirts. It would hang on you, oversized with sleeves overlapping your hands, and the bottom of the shirt just stopping below the booty. It was a simple but effective look, one that drove Dean wild. Just the fact that it was his shirt made it all the more hotter, he could feel a semi coming on just at the thought.

He smirked to himself, he knew that you knew he loved the look, and what it would undoubtedly lead to.

He quickly snaps back to reality as he hears the handle on the bathroom door turn, and there you were. Hair damp and shirt donned just as expected, wonderfully.

“Hey,” you cooed with a wink, as you made your way towards the bed.

“Hey there,” Dean replied coolly, tongue poking out slightly between his teeth as he looked you up and down.

As you drew closer, Dean spotted that something was...off. The sleeves overlapped your hands almost comically this time, and the bottom of the shirt hung way lower, almost touching the back of your knees.

You hopped on the bed next to him, not noticing the bewildered look on his face. You snuggle into him and look at the TV.

“What are we watching?” you asked chirpily.

He didn’t answer, prompting you to turn your attention back to him. His eyes were narrowed, staring at the shirt intently. He was studying it, trying to remember it. It was a dark green and black plaid one, Dean honestly couldn’t remember if he had one like that or not.

“Problem?” you raised your eyebrow in confusion.

“Let me look at that,” he mumbled, hand reaching down the back of your neck as he fumbled within.

“What the hell!?” you squeak, trying to wriggle free.

He grabbed hold of the tag on the back of shirt, looking at it briefly before he threw his hands up in disbelief.

“That’s not mine!!” He yelled, “That’s Sam’s shirt!!”

“What are you talking about?” you laugh, “Of course it’s yours!”

“No way,” he shook his head, “That aint my size, it’s god damn Yeti sized!”

“Huh…” you stop in thought, holding your hand up and watching what seemed like a whole quarter of the sleeve dropping over your hand, “I thought it seemed a bit big…I dunno, I just grabbed it outta the clean laundry. No biggie.”

“No biggie!?” Dean gasped, “You’re wearing my brother’s shirt and I’m supposed to be okay with that?”

“Well maybe one of you should consider wearing something other than god damn plaid,” you laughed shoving him lightly, “Then maybe I can freaking distinguish what’s yours and his! Hell, it even took you a moment to notice.”

“You giving me attitude?” Dean tilted his head with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“So what if I am?” you shrugged with a smirk, “What you going to do about it?”

“I’m gonna make you pay for picking out the wrong shirt,” he growled, lunging for your arms and pinning you down on the bed.

“Oh!” you squealed in delight, “Oh nooo.”

Dean straddled you before releasing his grip on your arms.

“You can start by taking that damn thing off,” he said in a sinfully low voice.

You didn’t need telling twice, hastily tearing the buttons open and shuffling your arms out of the sleeves. Dean grabs the flannel as soon as it’s off you and throws it to the side, looking you up and down again as you laid before him completely exposed.

“Aw yeah,” he grinned, “That’s a shirt that definitely looks better on the floor.”

Tags! This means I’m unable to tag you anymore :( If I was able to tag you before, PLEASE (if you are over 18) set your blog to ‘explicit’ and also turn off ‘safe mode’. This will be why I can’t tag you anymore because of Tumblr’s new bullshit.

Forever Posse: @sofreddie @chelsea074298 @ria132love @untitled39887 @chicagolove88 @akshi8278 @sis-tafics @younoeatcheeseyounobefat @mandilion76 @teamfreewill92 @supernaturalmagicfolk @emoryhemsworth @musicistobeheard-blog @pheonyxstorm @mrswhozeewhatsis @turnttoverr @itspronouncedsatanbitch @the--real-wombat   @xagateophobiax @samisimportant @jensen-gal @castielle11235 @waiting-to-find-myshadows   @19agbrown   @mogaruke   @nyxveracity   @cole-winchester   @esoltis280  

Dean Darlings: @annoyingpeople-postingthings @hobby27 @sleepless-sin  @keira1416 @imascio08

[headcanonsandmore]

Ron Weasley: the gutting of a character

(Strap yourselves in, everyone- this is a very long post)

I should start this post by pointing out that I’m a big Ron Weasley fan- I like his complex character, humour, and his overall character arc. Despite what the film series did to Ron, I am not knocking Rupert Grint’s portrayal of the character- Grint is a talented actor, and he did a fine job with what was given to him. The problem is that he was given very little in comparison with Radcliffe and Watson. Ron Weasley is a complex character that arguable deserved much better treatment than he was given in the film series.

In the post, I’ll be looking over the cool, bad-ass and interesting actions of the character that were given over to Hermione or otherwise changed in the films. Sometimes it isn’t just the dialogue, but the framing of how the audience is supposed to react to the character of Ron Weasley.

I should also point out that I like Hermione a lot- she’s one of my favourite characters in the books, but I wanted to see the three awesome characters in the golden trio that I knew from the books, not two awesome characters and a comedic sidekick. Emma Watson is a great actor, and did a fantastic job of portraying Hermione. I just wish that the characterisation of Ron had been given as much thought as that of Hermione. During the course of the film series, Hermione’s character was a victim of the ‘Legolas effect’, a term coined by the reviewer ‘The Dom’ in his Harry Potterathon video series. Hermione was given dialogue, actions and traits of other characters. 

One of the main themes of this is that film Hermione was given significant portions of Ron’s dialogue, character and traits. In effect, the character of Hermione was changed from a flawed but brilliant character into a near-perfect character with few flaws if any. Ron, on the other hand, was changed from a compelling flawed but lovable character into a comedic sidekick who the other two hung around with for no real reason.

Let’s start off with ‘The Philosophers Stone’. In the scene with Devils Snare, the golden trio are trying to discover a way to get past the plant. In the books, Hermione is trying to remember how to stop it using a rhyme that Professor Sprout told them. Harry then finishes the rhyme, pointing out that Devils Snare hates fire. However, Hermione (in the heat of the moment) forgets that she is a witch and exclaims that they don’t have anything to burn. Ron then loudly reminds her that she is, in fact, in possession of magical powers, and Hermione then conjured up flames to get rid of Devils Snare. It’s a scene that highlights the different strengths of the three heroes- Hermione’s brains, Harry resourcefulness, and Ron’s common-sense.

In the film adaptation, the Devil Snare releases a person when they do nothing. Hermione tells the other two this, but only Harry listens to her, leaving Ron trapped above them in a state of terror, thinking both of his friends have been destroyed by the plant. Hermione then remembers that Devils Snare hates sunlight (I don’t know why it was changed) and she sends light into the plant, which releases Ron. We are then treated to this little bit of dialogue;

Ron: Good thing we didn’t panic

 (Harry and Hermione glare at Ron)

 Harry: Good thing Hermione pays attention in Herbology

Notice the framing is changed. Instead of Ron being the one with common sense and reminding Hermione that she can conjure flames, in the film adaptation, Ron is the loud-mouthed one who doesn’t listen to his friends’ advice and then has the gall to act like he was being sensible. The audience is expected to laugh at Ron’s incompetence and praise Hermione’s resourcefulness, as opposed to the book where the reader was encouraged to see the different strengths of the three heroes.

Next, in ‘Chamber of Secrets’, there is the scene in Hagrids hut where the connotations of the slur ‘mudblood’ is explained. In the book, Ron is the one who explains the usage of the term, since Hermione (being relatively new to the wizarding world) didn’t know what it meant. She knew that it was ‘really rude, of course’ due to the reactions of Ron and the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

 In the films, however, it is Hermione who explains the connotations of the slur. What does Ron do in this scene? Vomits slugs into a large bucket whilst looking very pale and clammy.

 Ron is framed as comedic relief whilst Hermione gets the exposition about the concept of ‘blood-purity’ in the wizarding world. It also implies that Hermione either learnt about this from a textbook, from a teacher, or has already experienced this already since she was introduced to the wizarding world.

Next is ‘Prisoner of Azkaban’. This one scene is one of the bigger changes that the films made in regards to the friendship dynamic of the golden trio. In the book, when Sirius Black is cornering Harry, Ron and Hermione in the Shrieking Shack, Ron stands in between Harry and Sirius and (on a broken leg and clearly in a lot of pain) declares that, if Black wants to kill Harry, he’ll have to kill Ron and Hermione first. It’s one of Ron’s standout moments in the book series, showing his loyalty to his friends and his brave nature as a character.

So how does this scene get translated on screen? Hermione stands between Black and Harry and says the cool line. Ron mumbles and whimpers on the floor in the background.

Once again, one character is made to be seen as brave, cool and heroic, whilst the other is stripped of one of their coolest moments. Not only does this scene remove one of Ron’s coolest moments, but it also changes the entire friendship dynamic between the three heroes. Up until this point, the films had largely kept to the idea that Ron was Harry’s best friend and was, more or less, on equal footing with Hermione as Harry confidant and ally. However, by switching the line and bad-ass action over to Hermione, the film series begins to cement the idea that Hermione is Harry’s best friend, and that Ron is more of a hanger-on rather than a steadfast friend or ally for the other two. This is something that would become quite common in the next few films.

In ‘The Goblet of Fire’, there is an interesting little scene where Ron talks to Harry about asking Fleur Delacour to the Yule Ball. In the books, he largely describes the whole thing (albeit with Ginny explaining the main points to Harry at the start). It shows that Ron was utterly embarrassed, confused and startled by his own decision.

In the films, however, it goes like this-

Ginny: It’s okay, Ron. It’s alright. It doesn’t matter.

Harry: What happened to you?

Ginny: He just asked Fleur Delacour out.

Hermione: What?

Harry: What did she say?

Hermione: She said yes?

Ron: Don’t be silly. There she was, just walking by… you know how I like it when they walk… I couldn’t help it! It just sort of slipped out.

Ginny: Actually, he sort of screamed at her. It was a bit frightening.

Ron enters the scene literally being led into the common room by the arm by Ginny, and then (half-dazed) explains part of it. It doesn’t help that Ginny ends it with a one-liner that pokes fun at Ron’s immaturity around girls.

See the difference? Ron’s agency in his own story is largely cut out and played almost entirely for laughs. Hermione is not, understandably, given Ron’s lines in this bit, but in the book she wasn’t even in the room when this was brought up.

Next we have ‘The Order of the Phoenix’. In the scene where Harry reunites with Ron and Hermione at Grimmauld Place, it is explained to Harry why they couldn’t contact him during the summer. In the book, both Ron and Hermione explain that Dumbledore made both Ron and Hermione swear not to tell Harry anything over the summer. It shows that they both understand that Harry would be angry at not knowing anything over the summer holidays, as well as highlighting the close bond that the three of them share.

In the film adaptation, this explanation is given to Hermione, and Ron largely stands in the background and says very little. This highlights the friendship dynamic of the three changing in the film adaptation. They are not three friends as much as the boy who lived, the brightest witch of her age, and their comedic sidekick who tags along.

In ‘The Half-Blood Prince’ ending scene (after Dumbledore’s funeral), Ron and Hermione say that they’ll go with Harry on his quest for the Horcruxes. Hermione says that ‘You said to us once before, that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We’ve had time, haven’t we?’ and Ron follows her up, stating that ‘We’re with you whatever happens’. It highlights the friendship between the three, and shows their commitment to each other. They are clearly a trio here.

I’ve already talked about the film’s version of this scene in a previous post (see ‘Ron Weasley and the inability to stand next to your friends: an issue with scene staging’ at https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/headcanonsandmore/166883432059) but it does bear repeating. Hermione says her bit about them all going after the Horcruxes. Ron sits in the background during this scene and I’m not even sure if he had any dialogue.

I understand that Rupert Grint was ill with Swine Flu when they filmed this, but it’s not that difficult to give him dialogue and then edit it in in post-production. If you can do it with computer generated characters like Dobby, then you can certainly do it with a physical person.

Finally, in ‘The Deathly Hallows’, there is the scene wherein Ron briefly leaves the other two in their hunt for the Horcruxes. I’ll give you the two different bits of dialogue for comparison.

Book-

Ron: We thought you knew what you were doing! We thought Dumbledore had told you what to do, we thought you had a real plan!

Hermione: Ron! Take off the locket, Ron. Please take it off. You wouldn’t be talking like this if you hadn’t been wearing it all day.

Harry: Leave the Horcrux.

Ron: What are you doing?

Hermione: What do you mean?

Ron: Are you staying, or what?

Hermione: I – Yes – yes, I’m staying. Ron, we said we’d go with Harry, we said we’d help –

Ron: I get it. You choose him.

Hermione: Ron, no – please – come back, come back!

 Movie:

Ron: You don’t know why I listen to the radio, do you? To make sure I don’t hear Ginny’s name. Or Fred, or George, or Mum.

Harry: You think I’m not listening too? You think I don’t know how this feels?

Ron: No, you don’t know how it feels! Your parents are dead! You have no family!

Hermione: Stop!

Harry: Fine then, go! Go then!

Ron: [to Hermione] And you? Are you coming or are you staying? Fine. I get it. I saw you two the other night.

Hermione: Ron, that’s – that’s nothing!

Notice the slight difference in how Hermione replies to Ron’s query as to what she is doing. In the book, Hermione makes it very clear that she is staying with Harry because she said that she would help in destroying the Horcruxes. She clearly frames it as an act of loyalty to her friend as opposed to anything else. In the films, however, she stutters over her answer, making the audience wonder as to whether Hermione is not entirely honest with Ron in her answer. Instead of being a climactic moment where the unity between the trio is broken (albeit briefly), the average movie-goer who might not have read the books would see this as a scene that forges onto the golden trio a ‘one-dimensional love triangle’ (as Mugglenet put it in this article-http://www.mugglenet.com/2015/09/7-times-hermione-granger-took-ron-weasleys-lines-in-the-movies/).

The point I am trying to make is that the systematic changes in dialogue, actions and personality traits that the films made to the character of Ron Weasley was detrimental to Ron’s character, Hermione’s character, and the friendship dynamic of the golden trio as a whole. Instead of being a group of three friends, the films made Harry and Hermione the main heroes whilst Ron was relegated to the role of a comedic side-kick who was kept around by his friends out of a mix of apathy and pity.

Ron Weasley is not a perfect character, but that is because he’s human. Humans are not perfect- we are flawed. The flaws of Ron’s character were what made him engaging and interesting to read about. Whilst Harry was the leader and Hermione the brains, Ron was the common-sense part of the trio, always cracking jokes to alleviate the tension and ground the other two.

The book version of Ron was a flawed but lovable character. The film version of Ron had all of Ron’s flaws without many of the positive aspects of the character that made him so engaging to begin with. Instead of a loyal, kind and dedicated friend, movie Ron is the sort of person that book Ron was terrified of becoming- an incompetent oaf who was kept around by his friends out of pity and amusement (another tumblr blog @accioron puts it much better than I can- http://accioron.tumblr.com/post/112530209613).  

Rupert Grint is a fantastic actor, and should have been given the opportunity to play Ron Weasley as he was in the books. A combination of weird script-writing, bad scene-framing and a lack of decent character development left Grint with barely anything to work with, meaning the book version of Ron was a much-missed part of the film adaptations. I don’t blame Rupert Grint for this- he was doing the best he could with what he was given. He was doing his job- I just wished the film-makers had done the same.

[megareviews]

Okay I’m pretty late on this one as the Spring 2018 season is about 4/7ths finished by this point, and I could be giving excuses, or I could just get to the review. I’ll opt for the latter, so here we go for first impressions of Spring 2018, under a read more because this season is pretty massive, and I realized the first one should probably also be under a read more.

3D Kanojo (3D Girlfriend): The main character is a super otaku in high school with only one other friend who’s also an otaku dude. After being late one day he gets stuck cleaning the pool with another late student, who happens to be female. Judging her on her appearance and tardy frequency, he assumes she’s not going to come help clean. Surprise surprise, she shows up and is earnest in her work cleaning, and they end up getting along. I like the female lead, but I hate the main guy and also the concept of the show in general so that’s a no watch.

Aikatsu Friends: There’s a lot of Aikatsu and I’ve never planned on watching any of it as of this point.

Akkun to Kanojo (Akkun and His Girlfriend): A guy who’s a jerk to his girlfriend, but actually loves her very much and can’t express it well. The show is a short about a guy who’s a tsundere, but it’s pretty painful to watch for even a few minutes, especially since I’m not a big fan of the tsundere archetype in the first place.

Alice or Alice: Siscon Niisan to Futago no Imouto (Alice or Alice: The Siscon Brother and His Two Sisters): Well the title of this show is one of the largest red flags I’ve seen in a while, and it’s just about as bad as what can be expected from the title. From watching one episode it seems like the sisters are more into their brother than the other way around but that’s still pretty bad the way the show portrays any of the characters.

Amai Choubatsu: Watashi wa Kanshu Senyou Pet (Sweet Punishment: I’m the Pet of the Guards): This is pretty much a hentai that just barely sneaked by without the hentai tag. Don’t.

Amanchu! Advance: It looks pretty cool like the first season, but I have that on my plan to watch so I can’t say or watch anything about the second season.

Beyblade Burst Chouzetsu: I generally preferred playing with Beyblade toys or games rather than watching the anime is most cases, and this is the third season of Burst, so there’s really nothing I have to say on this one. Why are there so many sequel seasons at the beginning of the alphabet this year?

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu HAPPY KISS! (Cute High Earth Defense Club HAPPY KISS!): I was not a fan of this for the first episode of the first season, so I’m definitely not watching the second season of it.

Boku no Hero Academia 3 (My Hero Academia 3): Finally, a second (third) season that I’m actually watching and can talk about with knowledge. While the first episode was kind of pointless and more of a recap of the previous seasons, two of my favorite characters will be introduced in this season, so I’m looking forward to it.

Butlers ~Chitose Momotose Monogatari~ (Butlers x Battlers): I almost understood what was going on in this show, and then everything, including the genre, changed. Then I look up the description of the show and got even more confused, because there’s like butlers who travel through time and fight things, which wasn’t indicated at all through the first episode. I’d only suggest this for people who could be oddly curious as to what the heck will happen in the show.

Caligula: Our main character here is a psychology geek, but besides annoying his friends every so often with attempted psychology lectures, lives a normal high school life. That is, until he goes into his high school graduation ceremony and the speakers start giving entrance ceremony speeches. After that people start turning into monsters and attacking the people who are still normal. After fleeing the school, we run into a guy with a black spike running through him and a black arm holding a black gun. I really liked the character designs from the game this is based on, which I never got to play, so I’ll be watching it to see how it goes. I’m also a fan of the importance the music seems to play in the show, so bonus points there.

Captain Tsubasa (2018): Probably like the one from 1983, but in 1080p. It’s an elementary soccer anime, so there’s pretty much no reason that I’d watch it, but it’s probably fine for fans of sports anime or the original.

Cardfight!! Vanguard (2018): Another season of a card game anime. I physically own a deck of CV cards and that’s about the extent of my knowledge of the series.

Comic Girls: After ranking poorly in her magazine, a young mangaka moves to an all-female dorm for mangaka to learn from / with others. Knowing that she has issues writing high school kids despite being in high school herself due to the fact that she has no friends or communication skills, she accepts readily. After meeting her roommate and some neighbors she finds out she’s got a long way to go in the manga business, but is hopeful of the possibility of getting better with the help of her new friends. I’m a fan of many of the content creator anime, and this feels like a moe version of Bakuman., but I think I’ll just put it on hold now for other shows that I’m more interested in for this season.

Cutie Honey Universe: Another reboot of a popular Nagai Go series, I’m not sure how much information I’m supposed to have of the series before watching this iteration of it. The other series, Devilman: Crybaby, seemed much more comprehensive in how the story was told so that someone starting the series from there could understand what was going on. Either way I’m applying the same decision to this as to D:C, watch the original first, and then try this one.

Devils Line: Don’t let the title fool you, this is about vampires. Vampires who get sexually aroused by human blood. The show has the main female plot device and the actual main character is a half-vampire in a police division for fighting vampires. There’s plenty of shows with similar concepts that are better than what I’m feeling from this with the amount of murder and rape alluded to as of ep 1 and the fact that there is a romance tag in the genres.

Dorei-ku The Animation (23 Slaves and Me / Slave Ward): The main object of this show is called an SCM, and what it does is let the users of It engage in duels, with the loser becoming a slave of the winner. The term duel seems to be pretty loose and left up to the users, which is pretty interesting, mostly consisting of some type of game. The show seems pretty edgy with characters being introduced with an into card of their name and them in bondage, plus the whole “slave��� thing, and the implied rape scene. Since I pretty much consume any media with characters fighting each other through games, no matter how edgy (No Game No Life, Rengoku Deadroll, etc.) I will be watching this, and I’m pretty sure it’ll be interesting, if nothing else.

Duel Masters!: It’s a children’s card game anime, there’s a million of them and I have no clue what season of this it’s supposed to be. It could be the first or the fiftieth, and I would be none, the wiser, not that I care.

Fullmetal Panic! Invisible Victory: My friends all say FMP is good, so I’ll watch it… eventually. This is a sequel, so not much I can do to change people’s opinions on watching this.

Fumikiri Jikan (Railroad Crossing Time): It’s a short about conversations that people have while waiting at the crossroad for trains to pass. It looks like just a series of episodic conversations that are only slightly absurd from the description and the first episode, so you’re not losing much by trying it out.

Future Card Buddyfight X: All-Star Fight: I feel like I’m repeating myself a lot at this point, but there are so many children’s card game anime airing this season. And this one is coming in as the fifth season, so my dig at Duel Masters! Is justified as I write these all in alphabetical order.

Gegege no Kitarou (2018): A youkai child who goes around helping humans not be annihilated by other evil youkai. This is a reboot for the fiftieth anniversary of the series, and it looks pretty interesting. From the first episode, it’s probably going to be episodic and aimed in the family friendly direction, so anyone can watch it and enjoy.

Ginga Eiyuu Densetsu – Die Neue These- Kaikou (The Legend of Galactic Heroes: The New Thesis – Encounter [wow, one of the few times I can use my German and Japanese knowledge at the same time]): There sure are a lot of reboots this season too, and I’ve seen a couple of people with mixed opinions on whether you should watch this or not, whether you’ve seen the original or not, so I decided to skip this one until I make it through the original Ginga Eiyuu Densetsu.

Golden Kamui (Golden Kamuy): A war veteran of the Russo-Japanese war is trying to eke out a living during the Hokkaido Gold Rush, and hears about a hidden Ainu stash of gold with a map etched into the bodies of a bunch of prisoners as tattoos. As he starts his search for the pieces of the map he runs into an Ainu girl, who helps him survive in the wild and collect the map on the condition that she won’t kill anybody for the map. I enjoy the dynamic between the two main characters and the show has a really good balance between comedic wilderness survival sections and brutal combat scenes, so this is near the top of my watchlist.

Gundam Build Divers: I got no clue on how the Gundam Build series fit together, and maybe I never will.

Gurazeni (Money Pitch): It’s a major league baseball anime where the main character is a left-handed relief pitcher, who enjoys studying the salaries of other players in the league. The show description says that player’s performance determines their salaries, but as far as I know, that’s just how it works in America, and I don’t know if it’s a different system in Japan, or if the show just gets really focused on the money aspect of it.

High School DxD HERO: BOOOOOOSTO! (I’ve watched literally no DXD). This is the fourth season, and the studio animating the show changed for this season, from TNK to Passione, a newish studio that I’ve enjoyed how all their shows looked, if not the shows themselves.

Hinamatsuri: After a tough day of yakuza work, the main heroine drops onto the yakuza man’s head in metallic egg thing. A day later the yakuza releases her and she starts going on a psychokinetic rampage and breaking a bunch of valuable vases. After the yakuza generously decides to accept this girl into his house until further notice they just try to live together in as peacefully as possible. It’s full of a lot of goofy scenes played completely straight, which is pretty funny. The artstyle constantly reminds me of Tsuki ga Kirei, which is pretty much the only reason I’m not adding it to my watch immediately list, despite the comedy being right up my alley.

Hisone to Maso-tan (Hisone and Maso): The main character is in the Japanese Self Defense Force’s air force when she gets transferred to an assignment that very few people have been able to qualify for. This assignment involves being eaten by a dragon that can transform into an aircraft and piloting it from inside it’s digestive tract. The artstyle is pretty unique, and I can’t quite pin down a genre to call it, so I’ll say check it out, but I won’t be keeping up with it in season.

Hoozuki no Reitetsu 2: Sono ni (Hozuki’s Coolheadedness 2: Part 2): Have you watched part 1 of season 2? Then you can now watch this.

Inazuma Eleven: Ares no Tenbin: You only need to have watched the first Inazuma Eleven to understand what’s going on in this soccer anime. Unfortunately, I don’t even have that fraction of the Inazuma Eleven series watched.

Juushinki Pandora: As humanity continues to make scientific progress, accidents are going to happen. One such incident caused the world to be blanketed by a mysterious energy, that caused most life on earth to start hybridizing with machines. These hybrids then started evolving at a faster rate than humanity’s technological progress, and start destroying humanity. Various mechs are piloted by humans to protect the dwindling lands that can support humanity, and that’s where the main character steps in. A brilliant scientist on the verge of a breakthrough that will bring the mechs built by humanity up to par with the wildlife, or even stronger. While I like how the hybrid wildlife looks, that’s about the only thing I like about the show and don’t care to sit through CG mech fights for that purpose. That’s what Horizon Zero Dawn is for.

Kakurio no Yadomeshi: The main character of this show has grown up being able to see youkai, and enjoys feeding them to prevent them from harming other humans. One day a youkai shows up and brings her to an inn in the youkai world, telling her that her grandfather owes him a large debt, with her being the collateral. To this she responds with a swift “No way” and decides to work off her grandfather’s debts instead. To this end she tries to find someplace in the inn where she can help, and by the end of the episode finds a café in the yard that’s about to be closed down, so she decides to work with one of the kitsune employees to reopen the café so she can start paying off those debts. Not my cup of tea so I’ll be passing on this one.

Koneko no Chii: Ponponra Daibouken 2 (Chi’s Sweet Adventure 2): CG kittens doing CG kitten things I would assume from what I know about the series, but it’s the second season, so, even more kitten things.

Kiratto Pri☆chan: With a massively popular system for a variety of user created shows and capabilities to upload from any device, the Pri☆chan system can let anybody be a star. The two main characters decide to become an idol duo basically through a challenge, and end up doing well with their debut live show. The CG for the live show is pretty good, but I’m not really a fan of idol shows so I don’t have any plans on further watching this.

Kuroneko Monroe (Monroe the Black Cat): I have not been able to find a source on this one, which is an issue with a lot of the children’s shorts.

Ladyspo (Lady Sports): After getting about 5 minutes in, I had to give up. It was a different still image every 15~30 seconds of women on the toilet while some kind of mascot character talked to them. There is no subbed version of this so I only got the gist from listening myself, but this barely qualifies as animation.

Last Period: Owarinaki Rasen no Monogatari (Last Period: Story of an Endless Spiral): A show of magic-users called Periods fighting monsters called Spirals. Though the guild branch of the main characters suffers from the theft of everything of monetary value, and the main characters are tasked with taking quests to recover enough money to buy back their guild hall. That’s the setting at least, and as revealed later in the show, the show’s just really about making fun of gacha games while (probably) following the plot of the game it’s based off of. I think the roasting of gacha games is an untapped anime market, so I’d recommend this to anyone else who suffers on their own quests for full ☆☆☆☆☆ or UR teams.

Layton Mystery Tanteisha: Katori no Nazotoki File (Layton Mystery Detective Agency: Katri’s Case Solving File): An anime about the famous professor Layton’s daughter, solving mysteries, just like her dad. It’s a mystery show for kids, the first episode’s mystery was kinda quick and weak, but the characters are pretty interesting. I can’t think of a detective mystery show that’s come out since Kindaichi R2 finished so this show can be useful for scratching that itch, and later episodes might have more interesting mysteries.

Lostorage conflated WIXOSS: There’s so much WIXOSS and I have no idea how they are ordered, but this definitely isn’t the first season of a show, which may not be obvious to people who don’t know the series. Unlike a lot of the other card game based shows that have way too many seasons for me to understand, I do actually plan on watching this one at some point.

Lupin III: Part V: Part 5?!

Mahou Shoujo Ore (Magial Girl Ore): There’s just… so much going on. The basic premise is a comedic magical girl show, except the transformation is into a buff dude. As of episode 1 it is a series of absurd comedy skits leading up to this reveal, and the show can go literally anywhere from here. Being a fan of absurdist humor is the main reason to watch this show.

Mahou Shoujo Site (Magical Girl Site): And now, the complete opposite, a psychological horror magical girl show. We spend the first half of episode 1 watching the main character get brutally bullied, then she becomes a magical girl through one of the creepiest ways possible, and then accidentally exacts revenge. The show finishes introducing another magical girl who seems to have her schtick down a bit better than the main character. I really like most of the visual aspects of the show, and am a big fan of dark magical girl series in general so this was a no-brainer watch for me.

Major 2nd: It’s a baseball show about a kid who’s father casts a large shadow of baseball greatness on his son. You get to watch the kid play baseball with his team.

Megalo Box: While this show was created for the 50th anniversary of Ashita no Joe, this show is unlike the reboots and alternate series of this season as this show is completely unique and separate from the old show. An underground boxer who makes a living throwing matches who wants to compete for real is given a goal of a countrywide boxing tournament called Megalonia. There are many issues with a nameless man with no citizenship trying to get into such a tournament, but a fight with the number one ranked boxer sparks a fierce desire within the main character. In addition to the show looking amazing, the boxing is also upgraded in the future that the show takes place in, with mechanical boxing gear that increases the offensive and defensive capabilities of each boxer.

Neko Neko Nihonshi 3rd Season (Cat’s Japanese History 3rd Season): Another short this season about cats, but now they’re teaching Japanese history. It’s the third season, so there’s about 12 hours of the show to catch up on if you want to watch this season.

Nil Admirari no Tenbin (The Scales of Nil Admirari): This story is about books which become infested with negative emotions to the point of causing readers to injure themselves. The main character’s brother nearly committed suicide due to one such book, and the experience caused the main character to see these negative emotions in books. Due to this ability she gets scouted for a secret branch of the government that deals with these books. I honestly can’t figure out how to make the show interesting with the way the story is set up now, so I might actually watch more of this to see what happens.

Nobunaga no Shinobi: Anegawa Ishiyama-hen (Ninja Girl & Samurai Master: Anegawa and Ishiyama Arc): The third season of ninja comedy shorts.

Omae wa Mada Gunma wo Shiranai (You Don’t Know Gunma Yet): As the main character is moving to the Gunma prefecture, he texts one of his old classmates that moved there before, telling him about the move. An immediate warning to not to is the response, but as he gets it, the mood on the train suddenly darkens and he can’t get off the train. Overall the show seems like a weird comedy with factoids about the Gunma prefecture, if you want to learn about it for some reason.

Oretacha Youkai Ningen G (We Are Youkai People G): I literally cannot find anything about this show, and the image provided is kinda terrifying to be honest. It seems to be related to the series with the same name minus the G, but they don’t look anything alike. Hopefully I can purge knowledge of this show from my mind after writing this.

Oshiri Tantei (Butt Detective): Another short that I cannot find any traces of online, even though it seems to be something Crunchyroll picked up and was supposed to air sometime this month. I’m just gonna go ahead and say it’s probably a lot of butt puns while vaguely following some mystery.

Persona 5 The Animation: An anime of Persona 5, just like it says in the title. The show seems to follow pretty closely to the game, so this looks like it might be a good way to get the story of the game without a lot of the grinding battles and relationships. It will be 24 episodes, so the entirety of the show is about 10 hours, rather than the game’s 60+, though whether this is a good or bad thing will only be known after the show is well on it’s way.

Piano no Mori (TV): This show is about two pianist children who meet each other in elementary school. One is the son of a prostitute who lives in the forest and plays an abandoned piano he found there, and the other is from a prodigious family who’s had piano lessons since he could reach the keys. I think this show could an interesting watch, except the CG used for the piano scenes is ugly as hell and keeps switching on and off depending on if a character’s fingers were on screen. CG on it’s own is fine, but the constant switching during a singular scene drives me crazy, the same issue I had with Toji no Miko last season.

Puzzle & Dragon: I cannot find subs of this version of the PAD anime, as it is completely different from PAD Cross. Now that I actually play the game it’s based on on occasion, I thought I’d check out the anime based on it.

Rokuhoudou Yotsuiro Biyori: A couple of dudes running a tea shop. That’s about it and judging from the first episode I’m going to say it seems like an episodic show focused on relaxing, both for the viewers and the characters. Probably a fine show if you’re okay spending your time watching the staff interacting with each other and learning about their individual traits and how they interact, but it’s not doing anything for me.

Saredo Tsumibito wa Ryuu to Odoru (Dances with the Dragons): The story of two bounty hunters in a world of magic and dragons. A human with offensive magic fighting with another humanoid species who fights with a sword and strengthening magic. The show’s visuals are pretty average and the story seems to be of the main characters balancing their personal lives and expenses with their abilities to defeat dragons. I wasn’t feeling like keeping up with it from the first episode, but it doesn’t look like a bad choice to watch.

Shiyan Pin Jiating (Jikken-hin Kazoku / Creature Family Days): Okay so a genius, a dog, a plant, a spider, and a psychic walk into a Chinese restaurant. This isn’t a joke, this is just what happens in the first episode. The main characters are all siblings who are exceptional in some way, the oldest four as being experiments of their parents, and the youngest child who is the genius. The story takes place some time after the parents of this family are arrested for performing illegal human experimentation, and are about the family trying to live the most normal life they can. I like the characters and their mix of supernatural traits, and it’s a pretty cute show overall. It’s a bit shorter than a normal show, but longer than a short, and airs with both Japanese and Chinese audio, so there’s a lot of oddities mixed into the show in many ways.

Shokugeki no Souma: San no Sara – Tootsuki Ressha-hen (Food Wars: Third Plate – Totsuki Train Arc): I still gotta catch up on the third season of this, but I’ll finally be able to see Rindo animated, so that’s great.

Souten no Ken: REGENESIS (Fist of the Blue Sky: REGENESIS): The second season to the prequel to Hokuto no Ken (Fist of the North Star), I think?

Steins;Gate 0: The Science Adventure Series will eventually be watched by me, as people keep yelling at me to watch it.

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online: I can’t watch this until I fulfill both conditions of finishing the main SAO series and another project I’m working on, so it might be a while before I get to this. The author for this story is completely different from the main series writer, and I’ve heard that this is a vast improvement.

Tachibanakan to Lie Angle (Love to Lia Angle): After moving from her hometown as a child, the main character returns to a student dorm to start high school. Soon after finding it her dreams of a high class dorm are shattered, but at least there are plenty of other friendly girls living there, and two of them were friends from back when she used to live in her hometown. Other than that, the main premise seems to be related to the residents chilling in various states of undress, so I’m planning on just skipping this short.

Tada-kun wa Koi wo Shinai (Tada Can’t Fall in Love): After saving a foreign girl from the rain by bringing her to his family’s café, the main character learns that she came to Japan and even learned Japanese almost exclusively because of an old samurai anime. That’s all I really remember, and it’s a romance show where none of the characters really resonated with me, so I can’t vouch for it, and my reason to not watch is that I couldn’t find a reason to watch it.

To Be Heroine: A sequel to To Be Hero, which I couldn’t finish, so I couldn’t start this. The art looks pretty good from what I saw when searching for a screenshot.

Tokyo Ghoul:re: I don’t understand the order and relations between the Tokyo Ghoul series, so I’m still stuck somewhere in season 2.

Uchuu Senkan Tiramisu (Space Battleship Tiramisu): The show follows the ace of humanity’s alien defense fleet, one of the youngest men fighting to protect Earth. This age difference causes the main character to not get along well with any of his teammates, and he usually just ends up isolating himself in his mech’s cockpit for some peace and quiet. But things never go as smoothly as he likes, and the show is just watching this poor man struggle to relax in space, which has been pretty funny as of so far.

Uma Musume Pretty Derby (Horse Girls Pretty Derby): A show where we got racehorses, but instead of actual horses they are anime girls. I was somewhat dubious of this as an idea for a show, and watching made me realize how wrong I was to doubt this show. It’s pretty funny and while the main character doesn’t enter a race, one of the other main characters does race, and it looked pretty good. There’s plenty of factors coming together to make this into a promising show from the first episode, like the writing, the animation (90% of the time), and the fact that it’s exactly like an actual sport, but not actually.

Usagi no Matthew (Matthew the Rabbit): It’s a kid’s short, and therefore, nobody has bothered ripping and subbing the show, so I can’t really say anything about it.

Wakaokami wa Shougakusei! (The Inn Mistress is an Elementary Schooler): After her parents die in a traffic accident, the main character moves into an inn run by her grandmother. Then after a few misunderstandings mostly caused by trying to talk to a ghost and real people at the same time, she ends up getting formal training to take over the inn for her grandmother. I’m not particularly interested in where the plot goes and the characters are all kind of annoying, so I’ll be passing on this show.

Wotaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii (Love is Hard for an Otaku): This is one of the few shows where I’ve read the source material before watching the show so it’ll bias me a bit, but it’s a good rom-com. The main character broke up with her former boyfriend after he learned she was an otaku, and even changed companies because of how ashamed she was, only to find an otaku friend she hadn’t seen since elementary school. They start to date each other because they’re good friends and don’t have to hide their otakuness from each other, and just go through office life balancing work and fun. I relate very strongly with the guy and how he lives his life so I will follow this show to the end of the universe.

Youkai Watch: Shadow Side: Season ??? of Youkai Watch. What else can I say at this point?