#(this was rain's profile i believe...i would love to do more with his character he has a lot going on as well LOL)

[discernible-eyes]

Casual shots of Cathedral Ward and Central Yharnam on here for my convenience, mainly because I will want to do some art studies with them lmao ✨

[tenjiiku]

how long does it take to fall in love? / 18+

sequel to the first snow

Everything seems to be easier in Rin’s head these days. At least, that is what you have told him. He never understands what you say half of the time, but perhaps that is exactly why he has extended his stay in Japan. 

“Has anyone ever told you you look like you are perpetually plotting something?” 

Your tender voice brings him out of his reverie. Rin finds himself sitting across from you in a train heading from Tokyo to Osaka. It is late June and though summers in Ginza are busy and ruthless, the train is barren and light. The view from the window is nice — it was why both of you had chosen this seating arrangement in the first place. Rin wanted to be near you and the sunlight: two entities he did not ever believe to be possible of wanting, months ago. 

Times are changing. You told him this the day you quit your part-time job. He mocked you for it, so maybe amongst being a perpetual suspicious person — he is also a hypocrite. Suddenly the thought of him at sixteen despising who he has become crosses his mind. The idea does not bother Rin as much as it thought it would. If anything, it brings the opposite effect of relief.

“What?” He asks, because he does not have any clue what you are talking about. But, you look pretty in your light blue beret and plaid skirt to match. Though, the latter is a bit too short for Rin’s mental fortitude. Really, you had no business wearing such a thing. It was not needed, but it was appreciated. 

You had pretty legs.

Rin shakes his head at his perverse thoughts. He thinks you notice because your mouth lifts up into a half smirk. 

You click your tongue, a small hand gently tracing your chin. Rin sees you smile and feels his head grow hot. “See, that is my point.” 

“I don’t know what you mean.” 

You don’t answer him outrightly. Instead, you turn the moment the train envelops a scenic view of long pine trees and bushes, and an opening reveals a multicoloured painting in the sky. Your eyes shine, Rin holds his breath. 

“Itoshi-san,” you whisper, “It’s a rainbow.” 

Rin gazes at your side profile for a few more moments before turning his sight to the window. His features soften at the sight of, indeed, a rainbow beaming across the parted clouds. They have begun to part after a presumably long shower, which makes Rin question out loud. 

“Why has it been raining? It’s 30°C.” 

You laugh, which makes him feel small and a bit embarrassed for no reason. 

“You know, there is a proverb about rain: ‘it is only a problem if you do not want to get wet’,” turning your face back to him, you look mischievous and attentive, making Rin pay you his entire mind, “So you should be happy. Chiyo-san gets into a rather difficult mood when it is too hot.” 

Right. The two of you are heading to your childhood friend’s book-store and home. Rin had asked you why not take him to your parent’s or brothers’ home, and you had teased him for approximately twelve minutes before he had grown too warm and threatened to leave your small apartment. You only had to touch his wrist to disarm him and make him sit by your kotatsu again. Then, you had told him quietly and even a bit diffidently that you’d rather he meet Chiyo-san, as she had taken you in when you left home for the first time at fourteen after your parent’s divorce. Rin had only a diminutive grasp of your past and character, so when you had let that slip he did not hold it to you, and agreed to meet you at 10:30 at Ginza Central Station with a small bag packed with enough clothes for three nights. 

Maybe if he met Chiyo-san, and he met the home you spent nearly half your life in, you would let him understand you. Rin never thought he would want this yet, to this extent. 

Times are changing after all. 

“Your shoes will get wet,” Rin chastises you, hiding his face with his hands and looking out the window from the second story of the train.

You lift a foot, clad in a delicate Mary Jane flat and brush the small sliver of skin Rin’s khakis show at his ankle. Rin jumps, the smallest bit, and grits his teeth at the gentle yet deliberately teasing touch. Rin knows this action would not hold a candle to any taunt you would have given him. 

He thinks you know this, too, because for the rest of the ride, your foot remains — persistently reminding him you are here, next to him, across from him, everywhere around him — all the time. 

.

.

.

You reach your friend’s, Chiyo’s, town home rather slowly. You told Rin it was alright if you came a little late, that Chiyo was not one for arriving on time either.

So you took your time, renting a bicycle and enjoying the scenery. It was a bit unflattering, a six foot something man sitting behind on the seat while a boisterous woman was peddling the two of them around small stores in a local shopping district. Rin feels a bit lightheaded when he realises you grew up in this neighbourhood, you roamed these streets with who knew how many people — and it does not help when you keep reciting stories of your youth as you pass by diners and boutiques you used to frequent with your friends. 

Rin itches to ask about any past relationships, but he is quick to register how intrusive and utterly out of place that would come from.

So, as you sit in a diner across from one another, waiting for your fries and milkshakes, he asks a less ridiculous question. 

“Why did you move in with Chiyo at such a young age?” 

You look up from the colourful menu to Rin. Your eyes light up a little, then dim — as though to contain your amusement. 

“Ah, technically I moved in with her and her mother, Auntie Terada,” You correct. Rin puts his right cheek on his right hand. 

You gaze down with a solemn grin, “You know, Rin-chan, when things grow difficult I have the tendency to shut down. It has only happened once or twice in my life, but confrontation makes me feel… apathetic.” 

“When my parents split, I hadn’t the slightest idea how to fix it. I’d tried to keep them together by being small and easy, but it did not work. Mama could be nice sometimes, but she worried too much about making my life into something she’d want for herself. Papa was nice almost never, and I never wanted to try to understand him.” 

“So I told mama I wanted to leave, and she let me,” your eyes crinkle, either out of memory or of sad happiness. Rin cannot really tell, “I think she knew she had it coming.” 

Rin does not know what to say. So you add on with a full smile, “I was never too close with my grandparents like my brothers were, so Chiyo-san insisted I could stay at her place.” 

Your milkshakes arrive promptly, and for a moment attention is taken off him. Rin digests everything you have fed him. He would not have asked such a thing in a damn all-day breakfast diner if he knew what it entailed. You never wore your feelings on your sleeve, so it was hard for him to navigate himself without tripping a few times. 

As you are sipping your vanilla milkshake and picking the single cherry sitting atop it, Rin wraps his hand around his chilled glass and looks away. 

“I’m sorry…,” he murmurs. 

You blink. “What for?”

“That… must have been hard. I’m sorry.” 

You dismiss Rin’s concern with a hum, lips still around the milkshake straw. He grins a little at the sight. 

“Water under the bridge,” You shake your hands, to signify that you really do not mind.

Rin feels his lips open and close. He does not know what to say. Even though his relationship with his parents was cumbersome at best and tumultuous at worst, it was to his own accord. He could not comprehend how you became the person you were today; soft, sweet, kind, despite such circumstances. How could you look at anyone and trust them after your mother had let you go without putting up so much of a fight? 

You seem to sense his apprehension, because after you finish nibbling on the cherry coated in sugar syrup, you tell him,  “I did not tell you all of this so you could pity me, Itoshi-san.” 

Rin folds his hands together abruptly, feeling red-faced that he was so easily caught. But, he should have known better. Hiding things from you was a near impossible task. On one hand he liked that, because it meant less work for him to explain his complex emotions. On the other hand, it meant he was played for a fool every time. 

The latter would have upset him a decade ago. Your voice rings in the back of his mind like a darling reminder. 

“Then why?” He asks.

To this, you do not answer. You finish the rest of your milkshake with a small smile, eyes shining with thought. Rin follows your actions, drinking the rest of his. You place a couple of bills on the tray and stand up. Rin sits, gazing at you, as you place your hands on your hips.

“Come on, it’s almost seven. Chiyo-chan must also be expecting us by now.” 

.

.

Chiyo Yamada was your childhood friend. The two of you were tied to the bone in elementary school when she pushed the boy who refused to give you your pencil case back in the mud, and ever since, an unbreakable bond formed between you both. She was a few months your senior, and as both a sign of admiration and to annoy her, you referred to her solely as:

“Chiyo-san!” 

Rin knocks his back against yours when you come to an abrupt stop on the bicycle. He grunts when you break, and you are already running towards a girl standing outside a quaint book and antique store when he is only half way off his seat. Rin takes his helmet off and hooks it to the front of the bicycle. He watches you envelop the taller woman in an unequivocal bear hug, and he awkwardly pockets his hands in his pants as her gaze travels to him momentarily, before returning to the top of your head. 

“Geez, you’re getting taller,” The woman, Chiyo, Rin presumes, utters. Her voice is deep and smooth, and she carries herself with a refined maturity. 

Still sheepishly holding onto your shoulders, Chiyo looks to Rin. Her eyes hold a sense of familiar camaraderie. She nods at him, so Rin thinks she has realised his presence. 

“Hey,” he murmurs quietly. 

Chiyo doesn’t answer him. You do. Stepping away from her, your eyes widen with realisation. You back into a puddle, which Rin watches with amusement. He supposes that should serve as an equal punishment for almost knocking him off the bicycle earlier. 

“Oh, Chiyo-san, this is Itoshi Rin. We’ve been hanging out. I told you, you remember?” 

“Yeah,” Chiyo hums, still looking at Rin. He looks away to the side for a moment, bending his hands in his pockets, “I know who he is.” 

Rin flushes at the prospect. Wonderful. 

“How was New Zealand?” She asks. Rin should not be surprised, but still is. It was a small world he lived in, and utterly ironic. 

Everyone around you knew who he was — except you. 

“Cool,” Rin answers, “Nice lakes.” 

Chiyo nods once more with understanding. Then, she brings the two of you inside. The book store itself is clustered and rather small for how much inventory is presented. Whatever area is not covered by shelves filled with novels of all genres, lamps, old cassettes, and physical records of classics cover them. Chiyo leads the two of you — or, mostly Rin, considering you coo at the familiar setting and leave him behind — to a set of spiral stairs that lead up to a locked door. 

Chiyo’s apartment is quaint yet substantial for who it is for. The kitchen and general living room seem to be fused into one square area, which is the apartment itself. There is a small round coffee table in the middle of the room, and all of her electronic appliances seem to form a parish of some sort, gathered around an old television screen. If Rin looks close enough, he can spot a few strewn beer cans here and there, but the natural lighting from the one set of quadruple windows shines a pleasant dew into the room, on the tatami flooring. Enough for him to ignore the small things, at least. 

“Chiyo-san, you’ve been cleaning…” Your voice is in awe. 

Rin looks down beside him, watching as you take your shoes off and walk further into the room. He follows after you, not saying a word. 

Chiyo hums, taking her coat off and tossing it onto the rack behind the door. Rin, like the elephant in the room, awkwardly stands between you both. Although his size is something he was never conscious about he wishes he could be small enough to hide under that ridiculous beret you wear. Especially when his head threatens to hit the roof of your childhood home. 

“Yeah, well, there’s some kid next door who’s been helping around. Think he likes me or something,”

You grab onto Rin’s arm, making him fall back to reality. He looks down at you, and you offer a petulant smile, ushering him to sit with you at the coffee table. He lays his lips flat and follows your orders.  

“Anyways, I bought some groceries.” Chiyo calls from the kitchen. 

You raise an eyebrow. When Chiyo emerges, she grabs onto your arm, gesturing you towards the closed kitchen space. Rin’s eyes crinkle at the sight of your confusion. 

“Get to it,” The older woman says, giving Rin a small grin, which he returns when he sees your furrowed look. 

“Chiyo-san, you’re not being very welcoming to your guests.” 

Chiyo responds by uncharacteristically placing her hands on Rin’s shoulder. He stiffens when she squeezes them. 

“You are family. He is our honoured guest.”

You only glare at her, and Rin notices the slight look you give to her hands still on him. He feels something in his stomach at the sight. But as soon as the expression came, it left. You sigh before scurrying off to the kitchen. Chiyo removes her hands from Rin, and he sighs — a bit shaky — staring down at the wood of the coffee table. 

“I’m making karaage, do you have cornstarch?” 

“Everything’s the way you left it,” Chiyo dismisses haphazardly. 

Rin feels her rustle behind him, but he does not look back. When she reappears in front, she holds out one cold beer can dripping with condensation to him, and the other is held close to her hip. Rin looks up hesitantly, and Chiyo only shakes it like one would shake a bone in front of a dog. Rin didn’t like that implication that much so he takes it rather easily. 

“Thanks,” He says. Chiyo hums. Rin is starting to think she does not like to talk that much. 

Taking a seat across from him, Rin lets his eyes roam the walls of her home. He does not think he should look at her. But then she is holding out a cigarette to him, and he stills like a ghost. He gazes in front of him to notice she has one in her mouth, and is rustling in the pocket of her sweats to presumably find a lighter. 

“Oh, no thank you,” Rin dismisses, clutching onto his can. He decides to open it. 

“You don’t smoke?”

Chiyo asks the question so accusingly, it makes Rin crane an eyebrow. She chuckles. 

“Well,” She pauses, covering the butt of her cigarette to light it. Once she does, she places it down on the table and takes a huff, “It’s just that…, I thought professional football players would be a bit more… rowdy.” 

Blowing the smoke to the side, Chiyo opens the beer can with one hand and gives Rin a half smirk. He feels his palms sweat as she looks him up and down. He wonders if she's trying to gauge his character, assessing whether he's worthy of being with you.

“You look clean, Mr. Itoshi,” Chiyo compliments, her voice laced with a hint of intrigue. Or at least Rin thinks it was a compliment. He glances down at his crisp shirt and neatly combed hair, silently hoping that his appearance is up to her standards.

“Please, call me Rin,” he replies, trying to maintain a calm and composed demeanour in the face of Chiyo's probing gaze.

“You really must like her if you’re willing to stay at a dump like this.”

“It’s not— you’re not—,” Rin stammers, his voice betraying a mix of defensiveness. He tries to find the right words but can’t quite wrap his head around what sort of explanation would quell her worries.

“Relax, I’m kidding,” Chiyo interjects, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Rin exhales a breath he didn't realise he was holding, grateful for the brief respite from the tension that had settled between them.

“But, still, this must be a cave compared to all of the places you must stay at,” Chiyo adds, her tone now lighter and more conversational. Rin can't help but feel a sense of relief as the conversation shifts to a less scrutinising topic.

“Y/n is too naive for her own good. Take care of her.” 

Rin stills at the prospect. He did not really know how to respond to that sentiment. Although he had no particular qualms about ‘taking care of you’ — he had worked through them for the past nine months — he could not tell if you even required that. Everyday he seemed to be learning more of you. It was a fascinating ordeal and a comfortable relationship. Rin would choose to stay like that if the selfish part of him — the part of him who would longingly stare at the back of your neck every time you would put your hair up, wear a shirt a couple sizes too small to show the sliver of stomach, touch his bicep as a support for mundane activities — did not exist. 

So if someone from your past was trusting him with your future, he had no room to deny. 

“I… I will,” Rin stammers, “I will.” 

When you bring a side dish of egg rolls and grilled sausages to fend their hunger, you bend down to place it on the table. Rin stares a bit too unabashedly at your neck, and when he realises what he is doing it is too late, because you stare at him with a hint of amusement. 

“What are you two talking about? Hopefully all good things. Itoshi-san, if Chiyo makes you uncomfortable you tell me, okay?” 

At this, Chiyo knocks your forehead. Rin bites his cheek when you holler at her before going back to the kitchen to finish frying the chicken. 

In the evening after dinner and a few more stories of your time spent in this townhouse, you come to him in his hoodie, a drunken gleam to your eyes and practically tossing your head on his lap. 

Rin wonders if you can tell he is losing. 

Chiyo pulled out her guitar after you grouched to her about playing you a few songs, which turned into many, which turned into mindless strumming as more beers were introduced in the night. Rin had opted out very early on and bound himself to drinking a couple of sodas. The two of you had only but shrugged your shoulders and continued on. 

You’re restless on his lap. Even though you only lay your head on his thigh, your hands wander — playing with the fabric of his shorts, reaching down to tease the skin of his shin, and — worst of all — sometimes letting your eyes wander upwards to meet his face, squinting with joy at the sight. A fine sheen of sweat covers your forehead, and you practically shine in Rin’s grasp.

Suffice to say, Rin was in for an even longer night than he anticipated. 

Luckily, you believe that Chiyo should retell Rin her adolescent stories as a form of entertainment. 

“Re—Remember when Terada-san caught you behind the bookshelves when you brought that Toru boy over for your first date?” You giggle, and Rin can feel the sound vibrate on his skin. 

“Was in the damn erotica section, too.” Chiyo grits her teeth as she smiles, adjusting a few strings of her guitar with one hand that rests on her lap. With her other, she reaches for a new beer can, “Toru-chan was so tense and really religious, I think. Really screwed with him. He was too scared to go out anywhere ‘cause he was afraid of getting caught by his parents and congregation. So I brought him over, what was I supposed to do?!” 

You laugh loudly at this, and Rin looks down at you. He feels his features loosen at the sight of delicate tears filling the corners of your eyes. 

“Wa—Wasn’t he a terrible kisser?”

“Oh, god, yeah. He had no idea where to put his hands! He just stretched them out like a starfish!”

You squeal when Chiyo describes such an act, and toss your head to the side, practically burying your face into Rin’s abdomen. Rin feels sweat run down his back. He watches helplessly as you rustle in his hoodie, on his legs. He doesn’t know how much more he can take, so he places a hand under his nose and looks down at you. 

“Tell him—tell him how red he became when he saw the cover of t—that half-naked girl!”  

Chiyo, seemingly noticing Rin’s dilemma — either out of pity or disgust from his reactions — reprimands you. 

“Please, Y/n-chan, stop treating your friend like an oversized pillow.” 

You pout, and Rin feels you begin to rustle and move away from him. But even though your actions flustered him and rendered him utterly incapable — bringing out a side of him he did not know laid dormant — Rin did not want you to go away. He wanted to chase this feeling and hold it closer to him. It was unlike anything he has felt before, after all. 

It was only natural. 

“No—No, I—,” Rin stutters, and comes to a halt when your eyes flicker to his, “…I’m fine.” 

You stare at him innocently and Rin surmises he might end up in Hell if you knew what he was thinking. Yet you only smile and adjust your head comfortably once more in his lap, while Chiyo clicks her tongue. 

“Play that Beatles song,” you drone to Chiyo, nuzzling your cheek into Rin’s thigh which makes him sweat. 

He discreetly tries to adjust his posture without moving too much — without alerting you — to no avail. Yet when your eyes trail upwards to meet his, you only push yourself into his hand that hovers over your cheek. Rin feels his ears grow hot, and the same warmth travels down his neck to his stomach. 

“Which one?”

“Chiyo-san,” you whine her name out like a child, Rin finds it endearing — sickly cute, “you know which one.” 

Chiyo laughs, ending the ballad on her acoustic guitar early. “Alright, alright,” she complies, fixing her pick and bending her wrist for a second before starting the familiar, gentle strums. They’re loud on the ears and vibrate on the drums, but they bring a soothing backdrop to the quaint living room painted in yellows and oranges. 

You fall asleep just like that. Chiyo notices before Rin does. 

“I’ll bring the futons, try not to move. She won’t sleep all night if she wakes up,” Chiyo says, before leaving Rin and your sleeping frame in the living room. 

It gives Rin the chance to stare at you all he wants. He studies your features closely. You have a scar above the bone of your left brow. His hand hovers over your face, before it decides it wants to touch the skin. You murmur an unintelligible sound, and Rin’s lips twitch. He bites the inside of his cheek. He does not think he should be allowed to see you like this, but you decided for him. 

So, when you lay next to him late at night with an inch of separation drawn between you both and empty beer cans on the table, Rin pulls you in close with the intention of feeding this selfish desire within him. You hadn’t asked before you laid yourself on him, because you probably knew he would allow it regardless. Rin could blame it on the small living room area, or point to the drinks as evidence of his uncharacteristic behaviour in the morning.

For now, he wants to hold you close to him. And that is what he does. 

I give her all my love, that’s all I do. And if you saw my love, you’d love her too.

.

.

.

The next morning, Chiyo is gone, and you find yourself burrowed in Rin’s chest. He looks down at you. He can’t hear really anything else, but he listens to you: the soft breaths you take, the small, unintelligible whimper you let out in your sleep, the rustling of your legs beneath the floral duvet and over the futon. They taunt Rin. The room is hushed, allowing him to focus on the small sounds that emanate from you — the soft breaths, the occasional whimper, the faint rustling of the bedcovers as you shift in your sleep. These sounds, insignificant to others, hold a profound significance for Rin.

When your eyes peel open, he holds a breath, adjusting his bicep you lay on. 

“Good morning,” Rin greets, his voice a low murmur, not wanting to disturb your delicate state of rest.

“Morning,” you reply, your voice filled with sleep-laden warmth. 

Your hair is a mess, and there is a soft puffiness to your face that was not there last night. When you rub your eyes and look around, seemingly getting a grasp of your surroundings, you look back towards Rin. A smile graces your lips and Rin cannot help returning it. 

You get up, murmuring something about a killing migraine. Rin follows you to the kitchen, standing under its arch entryway, observing as you fill a glass with lukewarm water from the sink. With you still in his shirt, he feels something stir inside of him, but decides to put that aside when he sees that the house keys are on the counter, realising something a bit more important. 

“...Chiyo is gone.” 

“Oh, yeah. She did that often. Does that often,” you explain, your voice trailing off as you recall Chiyo's unpredictable nature. "She’s like a stray cat. She’ll leave for a couple of days and return as though nothing happened."

“Even with guests over?” Rin can't help but inquire, a hint of curiosity tinging his voice.

“I suppose she considers you more than that, now. Take it as a compliment,” you say, offering him reassurance in the form of a playful remark.

When you bend down to open the lower cabinet — presumably to find utensils for breakfast — saying something about visiting the Ame-mura shopping district, the shirt rises ever so slightly to reveal your underwear beneath. 

Rin flushes deeply and looks away just as quickly as he’d seen it, and runs off to the bathroom.

.

The two of you find yourselves strolling through Sankaku park. As you pause to rest beneath a blooming wisteria tree, Rin notices the tension in your jaw, and he gently scolds you.

“Stop grinding your teeth. It isn’t good for you.” 

He adjusts the straps of your bucket hat, his touch gentle yet firm, attempting to alleviate some of the stress that burdens you.

You respond with a smile, your lips parting to reveal your canines. Rin's breath catches in his throat as your tongue glides over them, a simple act that sends a shiver down his spine. He watches, captivated, as you guide your index finger and thumb to touch your teeth, a gesture that feels strangely intimate to him.

“They seem to be getting sharper,” you muse, your words slightly muffled with your mouth half-open in contemplation.

“You seem to be growing duller.” 

“Hold my bag, Itoshi-san,” you request, interrupting the momentary lull in conversation. 

He gapes as you push your knapsack into his arms. It gives him a moment to look at your attire. These days you have been showing off more skin, and Rin does not know what to make of it. He doesn’t know if you want him to notice or if you are simply growing more comfortable around him. Because if it was the latter, Rin would be utterly played for a fool. 

He hopes it was the former. 

Yet amongst all the articles of clothing you wear — Rin's eyes drift down to your hand, where he notices a jewel adorning your ring finger. It is quaint and simple, yet stirs something inside of him. Confusion furrows his brow as he tries to make sense of it.

“Why do you have that on?” he asks, his curiosity tinged with a touch of jealousy he can't quite conceal.

You look down with wide eyes, and when you follow his gaze you only smile — which darkens this green envy colouring Rin’s insides. 

“Oh," you respond, your voice laced with casual nonchalance. "Ah, I put it on by habit."

Just as casually as you noticed it, you take it off. Rin’s eyes never leave where it travels — tightly secured in your fist. 

“I usually wear it in workshops. There is this one kid who refuses to leave me alone. He’s been loitering around since my second year, so I have started to wear this to make him act normal."

“He is… a student of yours?” Rin probes, his jealousy simmering beneath the surface.

You hum, looking downwards at your phone for coordinates of the cafe you wanted to go to. You nonchalantly scratch your chin. 

“Mm, somewhat. He constantly books academic appointments with me, and I cannot refuse. The pay is quite good for what the work is,” you explain matter-of-factly, unaware of the effect your words have on Rin's emotions. His jealousy takes root, fueled by the image of another person vying for your attention and proximity.

Rin doesn’t know how to direct these emotions. Well, whoever this boy was, he certainly didn’t come to Osaka with you. 

When he ponders on the thought that had just flashed through his mind — Rin almost grows mad. So he channels all of these petty feelings to your stupid bucket hat. Cute as it was, it drove him even more further down than he was. 

Rin knocks your head to catch your attention. You make an adorable sound between a grunt and a squeak. 

“Why do you insist on wearing such ridiculous hats these days?”

You tense under his hand. Rin’s eye twitches. He can’t move his knuckles, he finds himself incapable of moving at all. You lightly bite your bottom lip and rock yourself on your toes, before sighing. 

“Ah, well…, I mean…” You stutter, embarrassed of being caught for something, “You have been.. needing to wear them, every time we go out.” 

Rin’s pupils enlarge. He retracts his hand from your head. He lets his eyebrows raise, since you cannot see his eyes considering he is wearing dark sunglasses to conceal his face. Suddenly he is hyper aware of the baseball cap on his head, the same one you had given him the night he met. He hadn’t thought much of wearing it out every time you took him somewhere. It was a nice hat — it reminded him of you — and it prevented you from ever ending up in another tabloid again. He didn’t want anyone to know your character because they would never really know, in the first place. Rin has only known you for a year and still cannot seem to figure out your sweet disposition. 

“I… didn’t want to feel left out,” you add on softly, looking up at him with gentle eyes. 

Rin feels his palms sweat. He didn’t know if you were aware of the hold you had on him before, but now he thinks you definitely have an inkling. He doesn’t say anything. He only reaches for your hand. 

When you smile, Rin finds himself gone. 

.

.

.

Your laugh sounds more like a cry. It is a solemn sound and if it were not for the smile Rin could hear in your tone, he would worry. 

“What are you laughing about?” He sighs, yet he cannot hide the entertainment in his tone. He brings a cold glass of water to where you sit, lounging by the kotatsu you pulled out. 

Your legs are bent, and you rest your hands — holding your phone — on your knees. Your bucket hat rests next to Rin’s baseball cap and glasses on the surface of the table, and you hiccup as you laugh at something on your phone. 

“My—My brother sent me a voice message, I—I just found out you can play it at two times the speed. He sounds so strange,” You practically fall over when Rin takes a seat beside you, “Oh, I can’t.” 

“Stop it, you’ll choke on air,” Rin lectures — he finds himself doing that a lot — taking away your phone from your hands and handing you the glass of water. 

You oblige rather easily. You always do. Rin wonders if you are like this with everyone — or only him. He wonders if you think about him as much as he thinks about you: everyday, all the time — even more so when you are constantly around.

A quietness falls on you both. Rin has a hand on the small sofa behind you both, the one you lean against. After sipping some of the water, you lay your cheek on his bicep, face turned towards his. Feeling daring, he lays his face on the cushion as well. 

Only a few centimetres away, with a light shower happening outside that makes the pine trees outside in the alley shine viridescent, Rin feels your breath on his lips. His eyes flicker to them, and when he looks back up — you are already staring at him. 

“I really like you, Itoshi-san.” 

Rin pauses, feeling a heat swarm his head. Just as easily as you had been coming close to him, just as simple as your confession had been. He feels like a teenager again; those same swarm of emotions from his adolescence reinventing themselves into his head cause a storm. Rin knows he is not the same person he was twenty years ago, just as you know nearly everyone you were supposed to love did not reciprocate those emotions. Rin wants to give you all of them, he wants to give you all of him — and when he ponders on this in his mind and is met with no worries nor feuds — he knows he has been yours for a long time, now. 

“I really like you, too,” He whispers. He wants to touch you, so he places a hand on your cheek. He bites the inside of his cheek when he sees your eyes widen.

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Rin affirms, his voice unwavering. He brushes the scar on your forehead, lightly massaging the skin.

“You really mean it?” 

The tone of your voice, though innocent, only makes Rin feel embarrassed. He flushes, burying his face in the soft material of the sofa and away from your prodding eyes. 

“Must you make me repeat it?” He groans. You only laugh, which makes him turn slightly to watch the expression of joy envelop your face. 

Tentatively, as though testing his reaction, you place a hand on his head. Rin lifts his head, wanting you to be closer. You move in, but it is not enough. In a moment of utter torment, he grabs your wrist and situates you on his lap. 

“I want to kiss you, Itoshi-san,” You murmur almost desperately, voice dripping with an intoxicating want. A want for him — and only him. 

Rin lets his hands grips your waist, and relishes in the way you gasp at the contact. 

“Do whatever you want,” He mutters against your lips, “I’m here.” 

The statement comes off more monotone than intended, but you read in his everything: the slight twitch of his brow, the light sweat starting to form on his forehead, the way his sight flickers to your neck and lips for half a millisecond. 

You press your lips against his first. Rin’s chest heaves up and down, and he only pulls you in closer to get more of a taste. It is only when you push against him a bit too sensually, almost purposefully trying to arouse him, is when he breaks it off first. 

“Chiyo—…” Rin breathes, desperately, but does not relent when your hands dig into his shoulders. 

“She’s gone,” You murmur, kissing him for a moment which he returns, to only pull back, “she won’t be back.” 

Rin furrows his eyebrows at the way you tilt your head, and the slight anguish painted on your features. 

“Please, Itoshi-san,” you plead so sweetly, scratching the back of his scalp. You didn’t need to do any of that — he has been burning you for months now.

“I want to touch you,” Rin admits, with no amount of shame present in his voice. He likes the way you tremble at the timbre in his tone, so he plants a soft kiss on your collarbone, “I want to do a lot of things, to you.”

You look down at him, elevated as his hands find themselves beneath you. 

“A lot?”

Rin nuzzles his nose beneath your chest, nodding as he looks up at you. 

“A lot.” 

You smile, leaning down. Rin hesitates which makes you pause. Rin feels petulant despite having you in his arms. A sense of deja vu envelops him. He ran away the last time, and though he never expected certainty from you — it would be too hypocritical of him — he cannot imagine anything but you nowadays. 

“I… need certainty,” he breathes moments after, looking down and away from you.

A soft hand is placed on his cheek, making Rin look towards you. Your face is understanding, yet your question knocks all of the air out from him. 

“Are you a virgin?” 

“N—No!” Rin exclaims a bit too quickly. 

You sink down into his lap, contemplating. Rin doesn’t know how you obtained such an ability to leave him embarrassed every time. He takes this time to look at the way your skirt falls to your waist, the way your shirt is wrinkled at the bottom from his insistence. He feels a warmth cover his skin. 

Rin didn’t think it could get any more complicated. 

“Do you want to be my boyfriend, Itoshi-san?”

You ask such a decent, fatuous question in such an indecent way, Rin feels himself tighten around his pants. 

“Please, don’t say it like that,” He groans, head falling to push against your chest, “You’re making this really difficult.” 

“I know,” You grin, “But I know you are smart, Itoshi-san. Surely you didn’t think I brought you to my childhood home for the sole intent to sleep with you.” 

“I want to be yours, too, Itoshi-san. I want to love you a lot.” 

You look at him like some sort of apparition. You say such a thing so easily it leaves Rin speechless. And that is no good. No good at all. Because then it will lead to Rin overthinking everything about you: your delicate fingers scratching at the skin on the back of his neck, the way your chest rises up and down, the haze in your eyes telling him you want him. 

So, Rin responds with a heated kiss. 

He swallows every one of your mewls, and lets his hands run everywhere they wanted to touch before. The dip between your thigh and hip, the small birthmark on your elbow, your ribcage that you told him you wanted to get tattooed, the fingers that grip tightly to his now — somehow, opened — button-down shirt.

You press yourself against his hard-on, and gasp when his large hands grab at your ass to only encourage your movement. 

“Yeah?” Rin kisses the column of your neck, voice a mess as you ruffle his hair, “You like that, baby?”

“Rin, please—oh, oh,” You moan, tossing your head back with a gasp. Rin looks at your expression, lips twitching as he frowns at the way you push your chest to his face. 

“So beautiful…” He murmurs to himself, appreciating the hands in his hair and the sounds that leave your lips. 

“Oh—Rin, please, please.” 

“What is it, love?” 

The pet name comes out as naturally as breathing to him. 

“Need you — kiss me, please.” 

Obeying your request comes just as easily. 

Rin meets your mouth in a clash of teeth. Soft lips melt into his, and he explores every crevice of your mouth with adept dexterity. His hands bunch at your skirt, and you whimper — resting your chin on his broad shoulder when you pull away for air. 

“This damn skirt drove me crazy all day,” Rin grunts, digging his thumbs into the waistline. 

“Yeah—Yeah?”

“Yeah. Leave it on for me.”

Rin feels you shiver, “O—Okay…”

Rin huffs a laugh under his breath when he discards your shirt to reveal mismatching underwear colours. It was exactly you, the cheap panties with striking red and blue colours, and the violet sports bra. You twitch beneath him, half from embarrassment and excitement, he can tell. 

Hooking your arms around his broad shoulders, you pout and small tears fill your eyes. 

“Don’t laugh, I forgot to pack my good underwear,” 

“So you did bring me all the way to Osaka to sleep with me?” Rin teases, running a hand down to your inner thigh. You gasp and arch your back, before returning his smile with a wolfish grin of your own. 

“My side-men in Tokyo might get intimidated if they see that a pro footballer has joined the roster.” 

Rin narrows his eyes and clicks his tongue. His reply is prompt. 

“I’d kill them.” 

“I know,” you giggle, pulling Rin down to your lips once more. 

Still in his clothes, Rin manages to tug his sweats down along with his boxers to his mid thighs, revealing his sturdy manhood. You moan into his mouth when the hot skin presses against your inner thigh. 

“R—Rin, please,” you mewl so sweetly, gazing down at him as he teases the hem of your skirt. 

The very sight of you, held by him like this, would probably send him to purgatory. It’s debauched in every sense of the word. 

“I was so jealous when you told me about that damned student in the park,” Rin groans, rubbing the head of his manhood over your slick folds that twitch and cream over it. 

“Wanted to— Wanna kill him for even thinking—,” Rin’s frustrations fall short when he finds himself burying into you. He rests his head on your collar, as you wrap your arms around him and bury yourself in the crook of his neck — a pliant and soft mess for him. 

“Rin, Rin,” You cry, small tears escaping your eyes as Rin pushes you further down his cock, “Feels—Feels good.”

Sweat runs down his forehead, and your moist body presses against his. He kisses at your chest, which only makes you arch your back and press him further into you. Rin’s thrusts grow more intense, wanting to take you away — wanting to have you all for himself. A warm hand goes down to tease your clit and when you tighten around him, Rin sees stars. When the familiar band of pleasure reaches him, something he had not felt in years, Rin’s thrusts grow more rapid — with a strong want.

“Rin—Rin, gonna—,” You mewl, and Rin grips tighter onto your hips.

“I have you, I have you,” He grunts, driving further to make you reach your high. You hiccup, and Rin can feel a few tears fall down and touch his skin when you pull away from his neck to meet his lips as you come around you. He comes shortly after, clutching onto your malleable frame tightly, afraid that if he were to blink you would disappear.

When Rin comes back down, you lay next to him. You collapse into his chest, and he hums, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. He still feels a bit high, especially as you coddle him. The clouds part outside, painting the room in a soft glow — painting over your skin. 

You prop yourself on his chest, and Rin lets himself pet your cheek. 

“I really, really love you Rin,” You murmur once more, lids drooping — threatening to close. He rubs your cheekbone with the knuckle of his finger, pushing your cheek — urging you to rest. 

His eyes wander the room as he lay there with you. Your articles of clothing lay across the kotatsu, next to your beret and his hat. Rin wraps his arms around you, letting himself feel this selfish emotion longer. He likes the way you seem to fall into yourself every time you find something amusing, likes the way you find the need to hold onto something — anything — to ground yourself, and Rin likes it that, recently, the thing keeping you grounded has been him. 

Rin likes you so much he cannot think straight. 

He finds it easier everyday to admit this. Everything is easier in his head, and now you are there. 

I know this love of mine will never die. And I love her.

[sebstanaddict]

Love Song

Chapter 1 - Rainbow

Summary : A romantic comedy story between Sebastian Stan and female reader where we witness their journey after they said I do.

After facing so many challenges in their relationship there was nothing more Sebastian and reader wanted than a smooth and beautiful wedding to celebrate their love. But something unexpected happened that threatened their perfect day and turn it into the most embarrassing day of their lives.

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters: 1/18 (Might add more)

Chapter List >

Warning : fluff, grief, angst

Word count : 9.2k

This is a sequel to my first Sebastian fic Always You. If you want to understand more about Sebastian's and reader's relationship, please read it first. But it's not necessary to understand this story. Check it out here.

But oh, can't you see

That no matter what happens Life goes on and on And so baby, just smile 'Cause I'm always around you And I'll make you see how beautiful Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby See the butterflies' colors Listen to the birds that were sent To sing for me and you Can you feel me? This is such a wonderful place to be Even if there is pain now Everything would be all right For as long as the world still turns There will be night and day Can you hear me? There's a rainbow always after the rain

Life's full of challenges Not all the time we get what we want But don't despair my dear (coz I know now)

You'll take each trial and you'll make it through the storm 'Cause you're strong, my faith in you is clear So I'll say once again this world's wonderful And let us celebrate life that's so beautiful, so beautiful

Take a little time baby See the butterflies' colors Listen to the birds that were sent To sing for me and you Can you feel me? This is such a wonderful place to be Even if there is pain now Everything would be all right For as long as the world still turns There will be night and day Can you hear me? There's a rainbow always after the rain

Rainbow - South Border

-----

Pleasantdale Chateau, West Orange, New Jersey - May 6th 2023 - 1 pm

It was a fine Saturday afternoon at Pleasantdale Chateau. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, butterflies flew all over the beautiful gardens at the chateau. Nestled on a 40 acres of land among lush trees, sparkling ponds and rolling meadows was a magnificent estate that seemed to come straight out of fairy tales. Anyone who visited the chateau would feel like they were transported to a charming village in France. It was hard to believe that the magical place was located only 20 miles out of Manhattan.

Despite the peaceful and tranquil atmosphere, the chateau was bustling with people going to and fro. The air was filled with a slight erratic energy as everyone was busy preparing for the event that was going to be held that afternoon. Madeline Rowles had been in charge as head wedding planner for wedding events at the chateau for ten years, but she had never felt as nervous and anxious about managing a wedding until that day.

Their client for that day was a high profile Hollywood actor who had unlimited budget. Not that he specifically asked for anything too lavish. His fiancee was surprisingly a down-to-earth woman who loved simplicity and seemed to even hate anything too luxurious. It was not the couple themselves that made her nervous but it was their guests who made her feel so anxious that day.

The Hollywood actor was a Marvel actor who had been playing one of the most loved characters in the MCU for more than ten years. Aside from high profile Marvel actors such as Robert Downey Jr and Chris Hemsworth, he also had impressive colleagues outside of Marvel such as the likes of Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore and Jessica Chastain. All of whom were expected to attend that day. Madeline felt grateful that the owner of the estate had a private helipad which could be used by these high profile celebrities to get in and out of the estate quickly. It was one of the facilities they were most proud of, and one of the reasons it seemed that the couple chose the estate for their wedding.

Madeline consulted her checklist for that day and after making sure that all the staff were working on schedule to prepare the area for the ceremony that day, she turned around and headed back towards the chateau. The ceremony was going to be held outdoors in front of one of the ponds on the charming meadow right outside of the chateau. The staff were lining up white wooden chairs, rolling down the white carpet on the aisle and decorating the wooden pergola at the end of the aisle with flowers and vines. Her next item on the list was making sure the grand ballroom where the reception was going to be held was being decorated on schedule. Then it was off to the kitchen to check on the progress of the chefs in preparing all the food for the 350 guests that day.

As she walked towards the chateau she heard a barking sound coming out of the main entrance of the chateau. A golden retriever puppy came out of the entrance running towards her. A small boy of about 8 years old came running after it.

"Lucky! Vino înapoi aici!" ("Lucky! Get back here!") the boy shouted in Romanian.

Madeline went down and tried to catch the puppy but he was fast and slipped past her. She turned around and saw the puppy running towards the ceremony area. Sensing something bad was about to happen, she ran back towards the ceremony area, hoping to be able to catch the puppy in time. The puppy ran across the aisle and headed straight to the pergola and slipped past a ladder a staff was using to decorate the pergola. The staff was surprised. He slipped and fell down the ladder, crushing some flowers who were laid on the grass.

"Oh no! Mike! Are you okay?" Madeline shouted as she ran towards Mike, who was trying to sit up.

"I'm fine.. these flowers cushioned my fall." Mike said as he tried to get up, his hand holding his lower back. Madeline extended her hand and helped Mike up. Just then the little boy ran past them and shouted an apology to them then he continued chasing the puppy, who had ran past the pergola and headed towards a bridge not far from there. Moments later a man ran past them and shouted apologies to them too. Madeline noticed him as one of the groomsmen.

"We need to catch that puppy." Madeline said.

"Yeah, I thought we don't allow pets on the estate?" Mike asked.

"Well, the bride begged us to allow their puppy to come. She said he's going to be part of the ceremony. I couldn't say no." Madeline said.

Mike sighed. "But he ruined these roses and peonies." He said sadly as he looked down on the ruined flowers on the ground.

"You have backup though, right?" Madeline asked.

"Yeah. Still, it's a waste, but I can do something with them." Mike winked at her.

"Well okay, go do your job. The ceremony is in 4 hours. We don't have much time." Madeline said and Mike nodded.

Madeline had a dog herself back home so she knew what to do to catch the puppy. She ran towards the kitchen and once there she asked one of the chefs if they had some spare sausages. Thankfully there were some, so she grabbed them and ran quickly back out to the meadow. She ran passed the ceremony area and the bridge. Once she was over the pond she found the little boy and the man standing near a gazebo not far from there, but the puppy were nowhere to be seen.

"Lucky! Here boy! Where are you Lucky?!" the man shouted.

"Unde ești Lucky?!" ("Where are you Lucky?!") the little boy shouted in Romanian.

"You lost the puppy?" Madeline asked once she got close enough to the man.

"Oh.. yeah.. I was too late. I didn't see where he was going." The man said. He looked kind of familiar, Madeline thought. Maybe he was an actor himself. But she rarely watched movies and TV so she didn't exactly know who he was.

Madeline put her fingers in her mouth than whistled loudly, surprising the boy and the man.

"Lucky! I have some treats for you! Come out come out wherever you are!" She shouted.

"Wow, you can whistle really loud." the man commented in awe.

"Uh.. yeah.. my dad taught me. We used to have 5 dogs so we needed a way to call them." she shrugged.

Moments later they heard a barking sound coming out from one of the ferns near the gazebo. The puppy came out of it and ran straight towards Madeline. His tail was wagging and his tongue was sticking out. Madeline went down as he came closer and the puppy stopped right in front of her and sniffed the sausage she was holding. He bit the sausage out of her hand and was about to run off again but the man picked him up before he had the chance.

"Thank you." the man said, smiling at her as he held the puppy tight in his arms and stood up.

"No problem. It's part of my job." Madeline said, smiling back at him as she stood up.

"I'm Chad." the man extended his hand to her and she shook it.

"Nice to meet you Chad. I'm Madeline." she smiled. She finally realized who he was. He was Chad Crawley, the groom's best friend who used to be in Gossip Girl, a TV show she once used to love. She couldn't believe her luck. She used to have a crush on him back then.

"Aren't you the wedding planner?" Chad asked.

"Oh yeah, I am." she nodded.

"You're doing a great job so far. And this place is stunning. It must be hard managing a place like this." He commented.

"Uh.. thank you. Yeah it can be hard, but it's always worthwhile whenever I see the bride and groom smiling and having fun." she smiled.

"Yeah it is." Chad smiled.

The little boy then came to them and picked the dog off from his hand.

"Stefan, don't let him loose again, okay?" Chad warned him.

"Okay. Sorry." the boy nodded dejectedly then he turned around and walked back towards the chateau, holding the puppy tight who was now contentedly eating the sausage.

"Well, I have to get back and get ready." Chad said.

"Yeah, I have to go and check the ballroom and then make sure the chefs are working on schedule." Madeline said.

"I hope everything else will go smoothly after this." Chad said.

"Yeah, I hope so too! Even if there are mishaps, we're ready, don't worry about it. We've been doing this for decades." she smiled and Chad smiled back.

Little did she know that there was going to be a mishap that had never happened before in the estate and that it would make that day to be truly unforgettable.

-----

Bridal Salon, Pleasantdale Chateau, West Orange, New Jersey - May 6th 2023 - 4 pm

Y/n stared back at herself on the large mirror in front of her. Her make up artist was just finished putting make up on her. Her eyes widened as she looked at herself. She had opted for a natural look, but she didn't think the make up artist would do such a good job that she still looked like herself yet like a beautiful princess at the same time. Her beautiful eyes popped out even with only warm brown eyeshadows applied on them. Her lips were painted nude pink and her cheeks flushed like she had listened to Sebastian's compliments for her for an hour straight. Her hair was also done. She had chosen a simple updo with folded twists on the sides of her head and a small bun rested on the nape of her neck. Some wavy strands of hair were let loose, framing her beautiful face. She would put on a simple floral hairpiece along with a veil on top of the bun later on, after she put on her dress.

"Thank you Charlotte, I love it!" Y/n said enthusiastically to her make up artist who was staring at her on the mirror.

"You're welcome, Y/n. I didn't have to do much, you're already gorgeous!" Charlotte gushed, making Y/n blushed.

"I can see why he's head over heels for you. I heard he's had a crush on you for twenty years! Is that true?" Charlotte asked as she tidied up the dressing table, putting brushes, lipstick, eyeshadows and all the other make up tools she had into her make up bag.

"Oh, where did you hear that, Charlotte?" Y/n asked, surprised her make up artist knew of that fact.

"I read it on the internet. You're famous now you know, I can just google you and all information about you came right out." Charlotte winked.

"Well, I didn't think that information would come out." Y/n said, still pondering how that specific private information could have come out. But then again, this is the internet age where anything and everything about someone could be found on the internet, especially if that someone was a celebrity. She wasn't one herself but dating one turned her into one herself without her realizing it.

"You better get used to it now that you're marrying an A list Hollywood actor. People would put you under a microscope." Charlotte commented nonchalantly. Her comment made Y/n's stomach churned unpleasantly. She did think about it but never dwelled on it too much. Now that she heard it from someone else, it made her more nervous.

"Umm.. yeah. I guess I have to get used to it." she said, doubt in her voice.

"Oh I'm sorry, dear. I hope I didn't scare you with you that comment. Just forget it okay? Focus on yourself and your fiancee. You're getting married!" Charlotte said cheerfully.

"Yeah.. thank you Charlotte." Y/n smiled. Deep down she still felt nervous so she stood up and went to the table where drinks were served. She picked up a tall wine glass and opened a bottle of champagne. As she poured it she felt a warm hand touching her arm.

"Y/n.. are you okay? Are the nerves finally getting to you?" Shannon, her maid of honor asked, her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at Y/n.

"I'm fine Shannon, just needed a drink. I'm thirsty." Y/n said and she sipped a little of the champagne. As the champagne entered her system, she felt immediately calmer.

"Are you guys ready?" Y/n asked, referring to her bridesmaids and putting her wine glass down.

"Yeah. The only one who isn't is you! The ceremony is starting in an hour and you're still wearing a robe!" Shannon protested, her hands gesturing all over Y/n's white silk robe that she had worn since she started getting ready that afternoon.

"Yeah, I just need to put on the dress, some accessories, the veil and the shoes then I'm ready." Y/n said.

"That's still a lot to do." Shannon protested.

"An hour should be enough, Shannon. Don't worry." Y/n said as she started to go to get her dress.

"Wait, I have Sebastian's gift for you." Shannon said, putting a small blue velvet box in Y/n's hands.

"Oh okay. Have you given mine to him yet?" Y/n asked.

"Of course I have." Shannon replied.

"And how did he react?" Y/n asked curiously.

"He was shocked but happy. And he had put both of them under his shirt." Shannon smiled.

Y/n had bought Sebastian a gold chain necklace with a gold charm in the shape of a key. She had written a short note on a card that Shannon had given to him as well.

"Iubirea mea, you have the key to my heart. Wear this with the heart shaped pendant you have on your chest so that I will always be near your heart. Love, Y/n"

Right when they just started dating, Sebastian had bought a heart shaped pendant to symbolize his love for her and he had put it on the band of his watch. Y/n wanted him to wear it differently now that they were getting married. She thought it should be put nearer to his heart. And since he did have the key to her heart, she decided to buy him the key charm as well to symbolize that.

"Okay, good but... why would he be shocked?" Y/n asked, her eyebrows raised.

"You'll see why. Just open yours." Shannon smiled with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Hmm.. okay." Y/n opened the velvet box and gasped aloud. There inside the velvet box was a gold charm shaped in a heart-shaped key, dotted with small diamonds. She couldn't believe that they basically bought each other the same gift.

"There's a note there." Shannon said, her finger pointed onto the insides of the top of the velvet box. Y/n pulled out the small paper and opened it. She smiled wide as she read it.

"Y/n, sweetheart. For twenty two years you're the only one who have the key to my heart. So I hope you'll wear this with the pendant I've given you and we can always be near each other's hearts even when we are apart. I love you. Always. SS"

Sebastian had also given her a heart shaped pendant when they started dating. And they had made a promise to each other back then to always have each other's hearts. They really were soulmates, she smiled wide as she picked up the pendant and hung it on her necklace, right next to the heart-shaped pendant she always had on.

"You guys are so sweet." Shannon said, sniffling.

"Shannon.. are you crying?" Y/n asked, laughing a little.

"I am! I've witnessed both you being in love for twenty years before you finally got together and I'm just so so happy that you're finally getting married! If anyone deserves this it's both of you!" Shannon exclaimed as she pulled Y/n into a tight hug.

"Aaawww.. Shannon.. Thank you for being there for me and Seb all this time." Y/n said, rubbing her best friend's back.

"You're welcome, Y/n. Now let's put that dress on and go get married!" Shannon said as she released her hug on Y/n.

"Okay!" Y/n smiled and said enthusiastically.

Y/n went towards the wardrobe where she had kept her dress in. Her mind wander to when she was searching for 'the dress'. After trying on what seemed like hundreds of dresses, Y/n finally chose one dress from Allure. It was from their Disney Princess line, one that was named after Cinderella. She was afraid people would think she was cheesy to choose a dress inspired by a Disney Princess, but if there was a time to be herself, her wedding was it. And the moment she put on the dress back at Allure's store, she knew it was it and she had to get it.

She picked the dress who was still inside a white dry cleaner's bag and pulled the zipper down. Her jaw dropped as she looked at the dress. The dress wasn't what she bought. It was a different dress.

"Shannon! This isn't my dress!" Y/n said, showing the dress to Shannon.

Shannon spit out the champagne she was drinking when she saw it.

"F**k! No way! That's not your dress!"Shannon shouted in dismay.

"No it's not! Who picked it up from the dry cleaner's?" Y/n asked.

"Umm.. I did." Shannon said, her head hung in shame.

"Didn't you check it first before you get out of the dry cleaner's?!" Y/n asked, her voice raised a little as she felt anger started to seeped into her heart.

"I just glanced at the top. I mean.. the top looks similar to yours. So I thought it was yours. I'm sorry." Shannon said, regret in her voice.

The top part did look similar to Y/n's dress. It had a capped sleeve and plunging V-neck but it had mermaid silhouette not ball gown like her dress, and the skirt was made from satin not tulle like hers. She pulled out the dress from the dry cleaner's bag and checked the size. It was smaller than what she usually wore. Her heart sank to her stomach as she realized they were in trouble.

"Do you think we have time to pick up my dress from the dry cleaner's?" Y/n asked.

"Well, it's half an hour away, an hour counting the time I need to get there. And it's Saturday, God knows what the traffic is like in the city on Saturdays. You'll definitely be late." Shannon stated matter of factly.

Y/n sighed and walked towards the window of the bridal salon. She could see that people had started to arrive to the estate. She couldn't possibly asked them to wait. Sebastian had invited many of his famous A list celebrities and filmmakers who probably didn't have time to waste. And she would embarrass Sebastian if she came out late. People would talk. She finally decided that she could just wear the dress, no one needed to know it wasn't hers. Then she could return it back to the dry cleaner's afterwards.

"Okay, I'll just wear this one. No big deal. Can you help me?" Y/n turned towards Shannon.

"Okay, you sure you want to wear this dress? I mean.. it's different from what you've picked." Shannon said.

"Yeah. I mean.. I'm disappointed that I can't wear the one I chose. But at the end of the day it's just a dress. And this one looks pretty too. I just hope I can fit myself in it!" Y/n exclaimed.

"Well let's go and find out." Shannon said and she picked the dress off from Y/n's hand and headed towards the dressing room.

Y/n took off her robes and hung it on a hook behind the door in the dressing room. Shannon pulled out the hanger from the dress and unzipped the back of the dress.

"Okay, here we go." Y/n said, putting her feet inside the dress and Shannon helped pull it up and put her arms inside the sleeves.

At first it seemed the dress would fit her. She looked in the mirror and was not thoroughly disappointed at what she saw. But then Shannon started to pull up the zipper on the back of the dress and she felt her stomach being squeezed.

"Shannon! Stop!" Y/n protested.

"I can do it, Y/n. Just a little bit more." She said as she pulled the zipper up with a lot more effort.

Y/n sucked in her stomach and held her breath and the zipper finally closed fully up to the back side of her neck. She let out a sigh of relief and turned sideways to study herself in the mirror.

"I think it can work." Y/n said.

"Yeah, thank God. Can you walk though? The skirt seems to be a little tight." Shannon said, studying her.

"Yeah I think so. Can you go and get my shoes?" Y/n asked.

"Sure." Shannon nodded and left to pick up her shoes.

Y/n studied her stomach in the dress. She still had the fat belly courtesy of Starlene, she didn't think she could ever lose it, so she had worn a corset to help flatten her belly. But whoever the dress really belonged to definitely had an enviable flat belly, she could hardly breathe wearing the dress even though she already had the corset on.

"There you go Y/n." Shannon said, returning with a shoe box containing her shoes.

Shannon opened the box and put the pair of shoes out and put them on the floor next to Y/n. Y/n had chosen a pair of Bella Belle 2-inch low heel pearl shoes with romantic floral lace motif and playful interlocking straps at the ankle. She wasn't used to wearing high heels for too long and considering she was going to have the ceremony outdoors, low heeled shoes seemed to fit better than high heeled ones. Y/n put them on and leaned down to tighten the straps and that was when she heard it. A loud unpleasant ripping sound could be heard. The dress had ripped at the back.

"Shannon! Oh No!" Y/n froze in place, her eyes widened in shock. Shannon put her hand in her mouth in surprise.

"Y/n! Don't move!" Shannon said as she went to check the damage of the dress.

"Is it bad?" Y/n asked, turning her head to look up at Shannon.

 "Umm.. it's a long rip.. I think you can stand up now and see for yourself." Shannon said.

Y/n stood up slowly and could immediately tell the difference. She wasn't having difficulties in breathing anymore. She turned her back toward the full length mirror on the wall and turned her head to inspect the damage. The beautiful dress really was ruined.  The rip started from the top part down to almost her bottom. There was no way she could wear it. She started to feel tears well up in her eyes. How could this happen? At the most important day of her life. She thought in frustration.

"Y/n.. don't cry. We'll figure a way out. I'll go to the dry cleaner's now and get your dress. I'll be back in no time. You'll only be late like.. an hour at most. Okay?" Shannon said as she held Y/n's arms and rubbed them, trying to make Y/n feel better.

"Okay. We'll have to let Seb know, and the wedding planner so they can keep the guests entertained while they wait." Y/n said, starting to regain her composure back.

"Okay. Don't worry, I'll let them know. I'll have Rose, Allison and the others to come here and accompany you, okay?" Shannon said referring to Y/n's other bridesmaids as she gave Y/n a tight hug.

"Okay. You probably should ask Nick to come. He can drive for you." Y/n said, referring to Shannon's boyfriend who was also one of the groomsmen.

"That's a good idea. Okay. I'll see you later Y/n." Shannon said and she left Y/n quickly, almost running on her way out.

Y/n sighed as she watched Shannon leave. She decided to take off the dress and put her robe back on. After taking the dress off and putting on her robe, she went out of the dressing room and found all of her bridesmaids sitting on a blue circle sofa in the middle of the room, waiting for her.

"Oh Y/n.. we heard what happened. And we're really sorry." Rose said as she walked closer to Y/n and gave her a hug.

"It's okay, Shannon is getting my dress now. Has anyone told Seb or the wedding planner yet?" Y/n asked. It was 15 minutes to 5 pm, he was probably on the meadow already, under the pergola, waiting for her, she thought nervously.

"I'll go and tell him." Adelina, one of Sebastian's close friend from Romania offered.

"Thank you Adelina." Y/n smiled at her and took a seat among her bridesmaids. Allison, another one of her bridesmaids offered her a glass of champagne and she took it gratefully. Just then there was a knock on the door.

"Y/n.. can I come in?" It was Sebastian's mother. Oh no. Y/n thought. She never felt so embarrassed in her life.

"Uh.. come on in Mrs.Frank." Rose opened the door and Mrs. Frank came in holding Starlene in her arms.

Sebastian's mother looked stunning in a silk soft magenta dress. While her daughter Starlene looked so cute wearing a white tulle dress. She wore a matching floral bandana on her head and if her eyes didn't play tricks on her, someone seemed to have put on lip gloss on her lips. Something she definitely didn't agree with. But that shouldn't be her focus.

"Mrs.Frank, I'm sorry." Y/n said, walking closer to her and picked Starlene off her arms. Starlene looked up at her and smiled, realizing her mother had picked her up, and she put her small hand on her cheek as if encouraging her and telling her everything was going to be okay.

"Y/n.. why aren't you in your dress yet?" Mrs.Frank asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I.. uh.. brought the wrong dress." Y/n said, her head hung in shame.

"The wrong dress?" Mrs.Frank's eyes widened in surprise.

Y/n told her the whole story and Mrs.Frank laughed so loud after she was done telling her story, surprising everyone in the room.

"In all of my 67 years of life I have never heard a funnier story." Mrs.Frank commented.

"Umm.. yeah.." Y/n started to laugh as well, Mrs.Frank's aura had started to affect her too and everyone in the room started to laugh as well.

"This will be a great story to tell your grandchildren one day." Mrs.Frank winked.

"I guess so." Y/n said, smiling as she felt the burden in her heart lifted.

"Anyway, the reason I came was to actually give you this. You need something borrowed to complement your dress don't you?" Mrs.Frank said.

"Oh.. yeah, that's right. I forgot about it." Y/n said.

Mrs.Frank pulled out a beautiful bracelet from a pocket in her dress. It was a bracelet made from a chain of cubic zirconia mounted in a clover leaf shaped silver alternating with round shaped cubic zirconia.

"Oh it's beautiful Mrs.Frank." Y/n said admiring the bracelet.

"Here, let me put this on you." Mrs.Frank said.

"Thank you so much Mrs.Frank." Y/n smiled after Mrs.Frank finished putting the bracelet on her wrist and gave her a brief hug.

"Starting today you can call me mom." Mrs.Frank said, winking at her.

Y/n could feel her eyes well up in tears again. Her words reminded her of her own late mother who had died from cancer years ago. She wished she was here to witness her getting married to the love of her life. 

"Oh no.. don't cry dear.. " Mrs.Frank said, noticing that Y/n's eyes had started to water.

"I'm sorry.. I just.. I remember my mom." Y/n said.

"Oh dear. I'm sure she's really happy looking down on you from up in heaven." Mrs.Frank said as she gave a her a tight hug.

"I'm sure she is." Y/n sniffled and wiped her eyes from the tears. Thankfully Charlotte had applied waterproof mascara on her so her make up wasn't ruined.

Another knock was suddenly heard from the door.

"Y/n, it's dad. Can I come in?" Y/n's father's voice could be heard from behind the door.

"Dad, come on in." Y/n said while Mrs.Frank picked Starlene off from her arms.

"Oh hi everyone, I didn't think it would be so crowded here." Y/n's father said, surprised seeing Y/n's bridesmaids and Mrs.Frank there, making everyone laughed.

"Hi dad." Y/n said, walking towards him.

"Y/n.. you look beautiful!" her father said but then he stopped himself as he slowly studied his daughter.

"Are you.. going to wear this?" her father asked in confusion.

"No, dad.. I brought the wrong dress." Y/n said, laughing.

After telling her father all that had happened, her father laughed and commented that he didn't expect something like this to happen in her wedding. In his eyes she was always so perfect doing everything in her life that a mishap like this was truly unexpected.

"Yeah well, there's always a first time for everything, right dad?" Y/n said.

"Absolutely. Now, I wanted to give you the something blue in case you don't have it yet." her father said.

"Oh.. I did buy a blue garter but okay. Thank you dad." Y/n said.

Her father pulled out a small velvet box from inside his pant's pocket and gave it to Y/n. She opened it and there in the box was a beautiful crystal brooch in the shape of a flower. The brooch had a combination of white crystals and blue crystals on the edge of the petals and in the middle of the flower.

"Oh it's beautiful, dad." Y/n smiled softly as she studied the brooch.

"It belonged to your mother. She wore it on her wedding day, your grandmother gave it to her. So it also can be the something old, and something borrowed too." Y/n's father said.

"Oh that's right. Thank you so much dad." Y/n said and gave him a brief hug.

"Now I feel mom is here watching us." Y/n continued, tears welled up in her eyes again and she could see her father started to have tears in his eyes too.

"I miss her so much." Y/n's father said.

"You look so much like her on her wedding day." he continued, putting the palm of his hand on his daughter's cheek.

Y/n was speechless and could only feel tears falling from her eyes. Her chest tightened as she remembered her mom. Just then a loud knock could be heard from the door again.

"Y/n! Sweetheart.. it's me.." Sebastian's voice could be heard from behind the door and everyone in the room froze as they heard him.

-----

Ceremony Area, Pleasantdale Chateau, West Orange, New Jersey - 4.50 pm

Sebastian stood underneath the pergola at the end of the aisle, gazing at all the guests sitting in front of him. He smiled at them as their eyes caught his. He saw Anthony Mackie sitting next to his ex-wife. It seemed they were getting back together and that made him happy. Anthony winked at him as he looked at him and Sebastian smiled. Next to Anthony was his Captain America co-star Danny Ramirez who was busy looking down on his cellphone. Several seats away from them he saw his other Marvel co-stars, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Scarlet Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Paul Rudd, Chris Pratt, Samuel L Jackson, Tom Holland, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany and Robert Downey Jr. Each sat beside their spouses. He then saw his co-stars outside of Marvel, Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyongo, Diane Kruger, Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Renate Reinsve, Margot Robbie, Lily James and Daisy Edgar-Jones. Granted, he did have many female co-stars, more than male ones. Some of his male co-stars also had come, he could see Jamie Dornan, Adam Driver, Channing Tatum, Daniel Craig, Seth Rogen, Edgar Ramirez and even Robert Pattinson. He glanced toward their right side and was surprised to see Ridley Scott came. He also saw other directors he had worked with sitting and talking amongst themselves. There were Craig Gillespie, Mimi Cave, Steven Soderbergh, The Russo Brothers, Darren Aronofsky, Aaron Schimberg, Drake Doremus, Benjamin Caron even Argy Burgy who came all the way from Greece. Kevin Feige, the head of Marvel sat next to the Russos and was chatting with them. Sebastian didn't expect all those high profile people to come. Especially the likes of Ridley Scott who he had not met in a while. But events like this were also a good way to network and he suspected that was another reason why they all came. And whatever the actual reason was, he felt really grateful that they all had the time to come.

He glanced at his watch and it was already 5 pm, the ceremony was supposed to start now. He took a deep breath and replayed the vows he was going to say in his mind. Yes, he and Y/n had decided to exchange personal vows in addition to the more traditional vows being said in a wedding ceremony. He had it written in a piece of paper but having used to memorize many lines from a script, he didn't need to see it. He could remember all of them by heart.

Suddenly he saw Adelina walking quickly from the chateau towards them. She stopped before reaching the start of the aisle and gestured at Edward to come towards her. Edward, as best man, was standing right next to Sebastian. Edward nodded at Adelina and walked swiftly towards her. Sebastian's heart started to beat faster. He wondered whether anything was wrong. Adelina was supposed to come down with the other bridesmaids but she was alone. And her face looked slightly nervous.

Adelina whispered something to Edward and he nodded in understanding. He then turned around and walked back to Sebastian. Adelina turned around too and walked back towards the chateau.

"Edward, what's going on?" Sebastian whispered as Edward arrived next to him.

"Seb, I'm sorry. Adelina said there's an emergency with Y/n's dress." Edward whispered, his back facing the guests.

"What do you mean emergency with her dress?" Sebastian asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Well, she didn't tell me the details just that we need to entertain the guests while we wait." Edward said.

"Hmm.. okay." Sebastian nodded. He started to feel nervous. He wondered if it meant something. He also was curious what it meant 'emergency with her dress'. He decided to go and see her to make sure she was alright.

"Edward, I'm gonna go and see her, make sure she's alright." Sebastian said,

"But.. Seb.. You're not supposed to see her." Edward protested.

"I need to know what's going on." Sebastian said.

"I can go and find out but you need to stay here." Edward said.

"No, Edward. I gotta see her. I have a bad feeling. Just please stay here and.. I don't know.. sing or something.." Sebastian said as he left Edward quickly and walked towards the chateau, making people's heads turned towards him as he walked pass.

"But.. Seb.." Edward said, his words cut off as Sebastian already left him.

Moments after he reached the entrance of the chateau, Sebastian started to run towards the Bridal Salon. His heart pounding hard in his chest. He wondered if 'emergency with the dress' was a code word for something, like.. cold feet. Is she starting to have cold feet and having second thoughts in marrying him? He really hoped it isn't case. He thought.

He reached the area where the Bridal Salon was and he was about to go upstairs towards it when he almost bumped into someone. A woman was coming down the stairs. He realized it was the wedding planner, Madeline.

"Mr.Stan! Why are you here?" Madeline asked, standing in front of him, preventing him from going upstairs.

"I need to see her. I need to see Y/n." he said.

"I'm sorry Mr.Stan but you're not allowed to see her." Madeline said, putting her palm up towards his chest.

"But they said there's an emergency with the dress." Sebastian said.

"Yes, it's being taken care of. Don't worry Mr.Stan. Now if you'll please go back towards the meadow and wait there." Madeline said, grabbing his arm and guided him back out from the room.

Sebastian pried his arm away from Madeline and protested. "I'm sorry but I need to see her." he then ran past her and went quickly upstairs with Madeline's shouts following him from behind.

He didn't care if he wasn't allowed to see her. He was finally not believing in superstition again. After giving it a thought, he actually tried proposing to her three times before finally succeeding in his fourth try. If he had believed in superstition, he wouldn't have been there, finally about to marry her. So there was no use in believing in superstition.

He finally arrived in front of the door of the Bridal Salon. He knocked loudly and called out her name.

"Y/n! Sweetheart.. it's me.." Sebastian said.

Madeline suddenly appeared next to him and tried to take his arm and guided him away from the Bridal Salon. But Sebastian wouldn't allow her to touch him and his hand and hers played some kind of weird dance as he tried to avoid her hands from touching him.

"Madeline! Would you please leave me alone. I just need to talk to my fiance. Please!" Sebastian begged, his eyebrows furrowed in anxiety. Seeing the anxiety in his eyes, Madeline finally backed off and after apologizing to him she turned around and went downstairs, leaving him alone in front of the door.

"Sweetheart.. I need to talk to you.. are you okay?" Sebastian turned towards the door and leaned his forehead on it.

"I'm fine Iubirea mea! You need to go back to the meadow. We're not supposed to see each other." Y/n responded from behind the door.

"Honey, I don't care about that anymore. I need to see you. Are you sure you're okay?" Sebastian asked, worry still apparent in his voice.

"Sebby honey, Y/n is fine." he heard the sound of his mother from behind the door.

"Mom?" Sebastian asked, recognizing his mother's voice.

The door of the Bridal Salon was opened all of a sudden and Sebastian was startled. His mother stood in front of the door, carrying Starlene in her arms.

"Mom.. where's Y/n?" Sebastian asked as he made his way into the room.

"She's in the dressing room, Sebby honey. Now come on.. let's go back to the meadow." His mother said.

"No! I need to talk to Y/n, mom, make sure she's okay." Sebastian said.

"She's fine Sebby honey, everything's fine." His mother said but Sebastian didn't buy it. He looked behind his mother and saw the bridesmaids and Y/n's father all stood staring at him.

"Guys, Mr. Y/l/n, I'm sorry, I need to speak to Y/n." Sebastian said.

"Okay, son. Come on everyone, let's go and give them some privacy." Mr. Y/l/n said and he walked towards Sebastian. He clapped Sebastian's shoulder as he passed and smiled at him then he walked out from the Bridal Salon, followed by his mother and all of Y/n's bridesmaids who gave them shy smiles as they passed.

"Thanks guys." Sebastian nodded at them. Rose was the last one to leave and she closed the door behind her, leaving Sebastian alone in the Bridal Salon.

He walked quickly towards a closed door near him where he suspected the dressing room was and knocked at the door.

"Y/n.. sweetheart.. are you okay?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm fine Iubirea mea!" Y/n replied but she sounded so far away, like not from behind the door he was in front of. He opened the door slowly and found out it was the bathroom, not the dressing room. He shook his head, felt a little stupid then turned towards another door near the bathroom.

"Sweetheart.. are you in here?" he asked and touched the handle of the door. Just as he was about to turn it, he felt a little resistance from it, it wouldn't turn. He realized Y/n was probably holding the handle from the other side, preventing him from turning it.

"Sweetheart.. can I come in?" he asked slowly.

"No, Seb. What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice sounded confused.

"Adelina said there's an emergency with the dress." Sebastian said.

"Yeah.. there is.." Y/n said.

"Are you.. are you having cold feet?" Sebastian asked, his voice shook a little.

"What? Why are you asking me that?" Y/n asked, clearly confused at his question.

"I.. I thought that was what it meant." Sebastian said as he leaned his forehead at the door.

"What?" Y/n asked, clearly not understanding what he meant.

"The 'emergency with the dress'.. I thought it was code word or something.. that you're having cold feet." he explained.

He could hear Y/n's sweet laughter from behind the door making him smile. But he was still confused.

"So.. it's not code word for cold feet?" he asked slowly.

"No.. it's not, Seb." Y/n answered in between her laughter.

"You're not having cold feet?" He asked.

"No.. I'm not, Seb." She continued to chuckle.

"Okay.. phew.. I'm so glad." Sebastian said, smiling as he felt his anxiety slowly gone from his heart.

"So, what does it mean?" Sebastian asked.

"It literally means what it is, Seb." she answered, finally recovering from her laughter.

"That there's something wrong with your dress?" he asked.

"Yeah.. everything is wrong with the dress as it's not the one I chose." she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked, getting even more confused.

"I brought the wrong dress from the dry cleaner's, Seb. It got switched with another person's dress. Shannon picked up the wrong one." Y/n explained.

"What the h**l!" he cursed.

"Didn't she check it first at the dry cleaner's?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"She just checked the top part. It looked similar to mine so she thought it was really mine. Please don't be mad at her. It's just an honest mistake. She's going to the dry cleaner's now with Nick to pick up my dress." she explained.

"Oh okay. That's gonna take a while." Sebastian glanced at his watch. It was 5.15 pm. They were already 15 minutes late. He hoped his guests were patient enough to wait.

"I'm really sorry Iubirea mea. I tried putting on the other dress but it was too small on me, I actually ripped it." Y/n said, sounding ashamed.

"Oh my.. well, it's okay honey. You know, like I once said, I would still take you even if you only wear a potato sack." he laughed, referring to a joke they once shared when they were about to attend last year's Emmy Awards.

"Well, I'm in something better than a potato sack." she said, making him smile.

"What are you wearing, sweetheart?" he asked, getting curious.

"Just a white silk robe." she said.

"Oh okay.. and sexy lacy underwear?" he teased.

"Oh.. yeah.. something like that.. " she said, her voice slightly changed and sounded a little more sultry in his ears. God, how he missed being with her. After being away from her for three months he craved her touch on him but fate willed it that they didn't have the chance to make love yet.

The morning after Lucky ate their wedding ring they had tried to make love but Starlene had woken up just as they were about to do it. After that he had to go and buy gifts for his groomsmen, something he hadn't had the chance to do as he was so busy filming. He then stayed at a hotel overnight with his groomsmen for his bachelor's party. They spent the next night after that at the chateau, right after rehearsal dinner was done. Y/n stayed at the honeymoon suite with Starlene while he stayed in a different room with Chad. As a man with natural human needs he really was desperate. He hoped they would be able to do it that night. It was their first night as husband and wife after all. He had checked the honeymoon suite and it looked really comfortable and romantic.

"I miss you, sweetheart.." Sebastian said, leaning his forehead at the door.  He then opened his right palm and touched the door. Little did he know that Y/n was doing the same thing from the other side. She leaned her forehead at the door and her left palm was at the door, exactly where Sebastian's palm was. Even separated by a door they could still sense each other even though they didn't realize it.

"I miss you too, Iubirea mea.." Y/n said softly.

"Iubirea mea.. can I talk to you about something?" she suddenly asked.

"Of course, honey. What do you want to talk about?" he asked curiously.

"I just.. I feel like our relationship has been quite challenging, from the beginning. Not just after we got together. I mean.. you told me you tried to tell me how you feel about me at least two times when I was with Zac." She said, referring to the time when Sebastian tried to confess his feelings to her twice, thinking she was single at those times but she turned out to be with her ex boyfriend Zac.

"Yeah, well.. I waited before that for you to break up with Jesse." He said, referring to her other ex boyfriend.

"Oh.. yeah. And then you said it took four attempts until you finally proposed to me." she continued.

"Uh.. huh.." Sebastian nodded, wondering where the conversation was going.

"And then.. Lucky ate our wedding ring, and even before that, my engagement ring fell down the drain." she said, referring to the time when Sebastian was trying to propose to her but the engagement ring fell down the drain and ruined his plan.

"Yeah.." Sebastian chuckled remembering those times. They weren't funny when they happened, in fact they made him quite angry and anxious. Now that the events had passed and he thought about them, he felt they turned out to be really funny stories.

"And now.. this.. my dress isn't even here.. and I ripped someone else's dress. God, I hope whoever's dress it is won't need it soon. We'll need to fix it before we return it. And then.. your mom.." Y/n said.

"What about my mom?" he asked curiously.

"She gave me a bracelet for the something borrowed thing that I'm supposed to wear." she said.

"Oh that's so sweet of her." he responded.

"Yeah, but.. I just realized your mom failed her first marriage, and I.. I thought the something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue thing is supposed to bring us luck as we get married but my something borrowed is from someone who failed her first marriage.. what if.. God.. I'm sorry, Seb.. I don't mean to insult you." she rambled.

Sebastian swallowed hard as he listened to her. She did have a point. But wasn't he supposed to not believe in superstition anymore?

"It's okay, honey. I get what you're saying." he said.

"And then.. I just realized we're getting married on a Saturday!" she suddenly exclaimed.

"Honey.. what's wrong with getting married on a Saturday?" he asked, confused at her statement.

"I don't know if you've ever heard it but there's a rhyme from English folklore that said 'Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday best of all, Thursday for losses, Friday for crosses, Saturday for no luck at all'!" she said.

"Sweetheart, it's just an old rhyme. Do you know how many couples are getting married on a Saturday nowadays?" he asked, sighing.

"I know.. it's just.. " she sighed. "Have you ever felt like someone out there just hate that we're together? Like.. God doesn't want us to be together.. or something.." Y/n finally said.

Sebastian sighed. Truthfully he did think that when his proposal attempts repeatedly failed. But that thought was gone after he finally succeeded in proposing to her on his fourth attempt.

"Sweetheart, I thought you didn't believe in superstition." Sebastian commented.

"I don't.. but.. I just wonder.. you know." she said, doubt still filled her voice.

"Y/n, my love. If anything, I think our relationship is the epitome of love conquers all.. you know. It's a perfect example for other couples out there that no matter what the problem is, as long as we still love each other we can overcome it together. I think it's what God wants from us, that we become an example of that. Not because He doesn't want us to be together. On the contrary, I think He's testing us. He wants us to see how much we love each other. Whether we still end up together despite all the challenges." Sebastian said. He truthfully felt surprised at his own answer to her question. But, he felt it was true. He had never felt so sure of anything else in his life. And he was going to marry her no matter what challenges they would face.

"Honey, I assure you, and I promise you, that I will marry you today, no matter what dress you wear or whether you wear a dress at all. We are going to leave this place as husband and wife. Please, leave your doubts behind and trust me. This is just a little detour in our journey to be married. And we are going back to the correct path. I'm sure of it." he said, putting both his palms now at the door.

Faintly he could hear Y/n sniffle at the other side.

"Sweetheart.. are you crying?" he asked, concern filled his voice.

"Uh huh.." she said, sniffling a little louder.

"Oh, honey. I didn't mean to make you cry." He said, wishing the door would just disappear and he could hug her tight and comfort her.

"It's okay.. I'm crying happy tears, Iubirea mea." she said, her voice sounded a little better.

"Oh okay.. good.. " he breathed a sigh of relief. He suddenly felt the urge to just touch her hand, to help strengthen her resolve. He needed her too.

"Sweetheart, would you please open the door a little?" he asked, his hand slowly slipped down to the door handle.

"Umm.. why?" she asked.

"Well.. I just want to hold your hand. I actually want to see you, but if you still believe in superstition and don't want me to see you then, it's okay. I just.. I just need to touch you." he said slowly.

Y/n didn't respond for a while, making him slightly anxious. After what felt like a long time, she finally responded. "Okay, I'm opening the door a little."

She then turned the handle of the door and they opened it together. Her hand came out of the door and Sebastian quickly held it. He felt like he was home when he held her hand. He lifted her hand up and kissed it softly and he could hear her sigh at the other end.

"Honey, no matter what, I love you. We'll get through this together. Like we always do. Don't worry okay?" he said through the gap at the door while holding her hand tight in his.

"Okay." she said softly.

They stayed like that for a moment, holding each other's hands, just enjoying each other's company, forgetting about their little predicament for a moment.

"Iubirea mea.. close your eyes." she suddenly said.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"Just do it, Iubirea mea." Y/n insisted.

"Okay." he said then he closed his eyes slowly, wondering why she asked him to do it.

He felt her hand slipped off his and a slight breeze passed his face and he could hear a slight creaking sound. Then he felt the softest, lightest touch on his lips. She was kissing him softly he just realized. She bravely opened the door and let herself see him and kissed him! He felt weak at the knees as she continued to cup his face with her hands and kissed him so gently. He pulled her closer by the waist and continued to close his eyes as they kissed and kissed as if the world was ending and they only had that moment to be together. After a while Y/n broke the kiss and lifted his hands from her waist and he felt her going back to the dressing room and closed the door in front of him.

"Sweetheart.. you.. I can't believe you just did that. You.. are.. going to be.. the death of me." he chuckled as he opened his eyes, leaned his forehead at the door and put his palm back at the door.

"I'm sorry Iubirea mea.. I just had to do it." she said, laughing.

"Well now I really can't wait to see you." he said desperately, making her chuckle.

Suddenly there was a loud ringing sound. A cellphone was ringing. Y/n's cellphone judging from the ringtone.

"Iubirea mea, I'm sorry. I think it's my phone. Would you please get it for me? It's in my hand bag right underneath the dressing table." she said.

"Okay." Sebastian nodded and he left to get her handbag.

He picked her handbag up and opened it. He then reached in to pick up her cellphone. When he saw her cellphone it was showing Shannon's name.

"Honey, it's from Shannon." he said, as he arrived in front of the dressing room.

Y/n opened the door a little and stuck out her hand. Sebastian put her cellphone in her hand and her hand disappeared back into the dressing room. He waited anxiously as he put her handbag down on the floor.

"Hi Shannon.. Oh no! I think I might just end up wearing this silk robe if you can't get here within half an hour. We're already half an hour late. I'm so embarrassed at all the guests." she said.

"Yeah.. okay. I appreciate it. Let me know if you can find an alternative route. Thank you. Okay, bye." she said.

"Honey, what did she say?" Sebastian asked.

"Seb, she said she's stuck in traffic. There's an accident at I-280 W, she's been stuck there for fifteen minutes. Nick is trying to find a different route. So it seems we'll have to wait longer." she said in regret.

Sebastian's heart sank to his stomach. He felt truly embarrassed and dreading what his guests are going to think and say about this. He remembered seeing the faces of his colleagues and how some of them had arrived using helicopters that day because they had tight schedules. He wondered if they would wait or would leave if the ceremony started as late as 2-3 hours from schedule. Thinking about his colleagues arriving with helicopters sparked an idea in his head.

"Wait a minute.. there's a helipad at this estate." he said.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking Iubirea mea?" Y/n asked.

"Yeah. I'll go and ask Madeline if we can use the estate's helicopter. I'm sending Rose and Chad to get the dress." Sebastian said.

"Okay. That's a good idea." she said.

"Stay here okay? I'm going back to the meadow to explain things to the guests and.. maybe.. entertain them. I'll send Allison and the other bridesmaids here to accompany you, okay?" he said.

"Okay. Good luck! I'll see you under the pergola Iubirea mea." she said.

"I'll see you under the pergola, honey. I love you." he smiled.

"I love you too, Iubirea mea." she said.

He then quickly left the Bridal Salon to find Madeline, hoping things will go smoothly and they wouldn't be too late in starting the ceremony.

Chapter 2 >

[froldgapp]

It’s wonderful that the bi community is being represented by such a high profile legacy character, but on a personal level, I must admit I would have loved Tim to have been asexual. To me, he’s always read as Gray A, and I do think there’s a valid asexual reading of Tim to be found in the comics.

I think there’s some part of me that doesn’t want Tim to get lost in a lot of noise and light around just one specific m|m relationship. On a very personal level, I also don’t find Bernard very interesting nor their relationship very believable or compelling; it feels a bit Shiro and Curtis to me*. Didn’t Harper’s brother have a crush on Tim, for example? Way more interesting in my opinion! We haven’t had great Tim content over the years, so for me, I hope what drives his story is Tim-as-character and not Tim-as-right-on-product.

Again, I don’t intend to rain on anyone’s parade here: If you’re delighted for Tim and Bernard, more power to you. I just ain’t buying it, and selfishly, would have loved some ace!Tim rep. :) *Where at the end of VLD Shiro was shoe-horned into a relationship with a rando. NB: I know Bernard isn’t a total rando but also... his re-entry is somewhat.

[little-diable]

Favorite Fics of Mine

Here you will find the fics I'm the most proud of / the ones I really enjoyed writing. Please don't copy or edit my work. Enjoy reading, my loves. xxx

Supernatural:

My Greatest Fear (smut)

Dean broke things off with the reader years ago, the biggest mistake of his life. But when Sam tells his brother that (y/n) is getting married, Dean knows it’s time to make things right. He won’t leave this life behind without being able to call her his once again.

We were cowboys (smut)

As Dean and Sam travel back to March 4th 1861 Dean stumbles upon the most beautiful woman he has ever laid his eyes on. Will one night with her be enough for him? Will he be able to leave her behind the next day?

Nothing is permanent (angst, character death)

She’s about to die in Dean's arms, begging him to relieve their favorite moments together

Little Red Riding Hood (JDM, noncon)

Her grandmother’s neighbour, Jeffrey, seems to know every little detail about her, following her at every turn, watching her, studying her like only a predator would study his prey.

Peaky Blinders:

But the rain keeps falling (smut, personal fave)

It’s April 23rd, time for (y/n)’s yearly visit. But this year it’ll be the last visit, giving the two of them one last chance to search the love they foster for one another.

When one heart breaks the other follows (angst with happy end)

Tommy has been at war for months, the only thing the reader can cling to are the letters he kept writing. Until the day where he no longer writes to her, where she no longer knows if he's alive or not. All until one last letter finds its way to her.

Like Red Wine Being Spilled on a Piece of Linen (smut)

The reader can’t sleep, so she asks Tommy to help her out.

Dune

A hunger for blood (smut)

Feyd-Rautha's betrothed, the reader, is even more blood hungry than he is. She challenges him to a fight, giving him the chance to claim her even before their wedding night, should he win the fight. But perhaps that is what she had been working towards, all for the touch of a sociopath her body ached for.

May thy knife (smut)

What if the reader, who is married to Feyd-Rautha, didn't know that Paul, her brother, was still alive? What if it was her fighting against him instead of Feyd – all for revenge, to make her brother feel the same pain he had forced her to feel with his faked death?

Criminal Minds:

Profiling 101 (Series, Prof!Hotchner)

The reader enrolls in professor Hotchner’s class “Profiling 101”, a man she has always looked up to, a man who treats her like an asshole from day one. Will her need for academic validation manage to push the two closer together? Will her bright mind push her into the world of Aaron Hotchner and the BAU team? Will he manage to keep his distance before the world he tries to protect her from can get its grasp on her?

Following Rules (smut)

What if JJ had an older daughter? What if Spencer had known said daughter ever since she had been a teenager? What if Spencer no longer remembers the rules he was supposed to follow when (y/n) finally gives in and pulls Spencer close?

Harry Potter:

Carnal Sin (priest smut)

The reader’s mother had begged Priest Riddle to let the reader join his bible study, a bratty woman who wanted to make his life a living hell. Now it was time to finally teach her a lesson.

The Devil is Among us (priest/devil!smut)

The reader is in a desperate need, asking the Devil himself to help her with the daily struggles she keeps on facing. But what will she do when suddenly her local priest turns up?

Let Me Love You (one bed trope smut)

The reader and Draco are sworn enemies, at least that’s what she like to believe. But what happens when they have to share a bed at their friend’s wedding? What happens when he finally lets her in on the feelings that leave her confused and unsure of her own feelings?

Marvel:

Α and Ω - (smut)

Loki gets shown sequences of his life, and suddenly she appears, on the screen, right in front of his eyes.

Blood on their swords - Knight!Stucky x fem!reader (smut)

They fight wars for their king, kill men on the battlefield without feeling any remorse. They sleep with women they don’t know the name of, besides (y/n), she’ll always be right there to offer her body to the two.

[mixelation]

ask meme character - sasori?

lore i just made up ask meme

let's see....

I've always been kind of fascinated by trying to imagine HOW one makes themselves into a puppet? (Sorry-- immediately dive into lowkey body horror here.) So my HC is that he did it piece by piece. Like, he removed his leg and used to make a puppet leg and stuck it back on, then did the other one, etc. Probably started trying to puppet himself with chakra strings long before he went about surgically moving parts of himself, so my the time he got around to doing any vital organs he didn't even really need them for anything but moving blood/synapses around (which he wasn't going to be needing soon anyway). It was a long, painful process, but it was totally worth it for the art.

Sasori really likes pretty people, and he dislikes when those around him don't take care of their appearance. That means if you talk to him for too long in a context where he's not going to murder you, he's going to make suggestions about picking more flattering clothes or better haircut decisions. Note that what Sasori thinks looks best might not be what you think looks best, or what current fashion trends think are best.

If Sasori starts telling you about what type of puppet he'd make with your corpse, that's just him showing affection. Him actually turning you into a puppet is also affection (unless it's malice).

Sasori just has, like.... accessories. Spare clothes. Hair styling equipment. Lying around. He needs them, okay?

I think Orochimaru actually really liked Sasori because.... look at him. Look at him. How and WHY did he do that?? It's fascinating~

On the flip side, I think Sasori probably respected Orochimaru's skills and expertise as a shinobi and scientist and then absolutely hated him as a person. Orochimaru just wastes a lot of time doing completely useless things for the drama and I think Sasori would hate it LMAO. Like maybe he liked him the first month they were together because Orochimaru could follow along in art-related conversation and also desired immortality, but then.... why is he like this

In canon, Deidara does say he respects Sasori as an artist. I don't think Sasori.... quite respects Deidara's art? I think Sasori probably saw Deidara as ~immature~ in his artistic endeavors (which is why Deidara was so loud about being fundamentally wrong, duh). But at the asme time, given Sasori never murdered Deidara, I think he did sort of begrudgingly appreciate him? Like, Deidara got the artist thing, and getting giving up your body to it, even if he was young and dumb about it. I could see the two of them staying in contact even if the Akatsuki dissolved.

Okay, I also believe it's canon that Mystical Palm is a "rare" technique, so I HC it as a sign of a really top-tier medical ninja and there being all sorts of medical techniques that don't use it. I think, given what he does, Sasori is likely at the level of a competent medical ninja who can't do Mystical Palm. Unfortunately, you r e a l l y don't want Sasori as your doctor.

I headcanon Sasori as being really famous as a missing-nin and one of the more famous Akatsuki members. Like, I HC Deidara and Hidan as being largely unknown due to age (Itachi is only famous because he..... did That); Pein and Konan are obviously known and loved within Rain but Rain is shut off to the rest of the world and they seem unknown outside of it; Kisame is probably famous as one of the Seven Swordsmen but less famous for being a missing-nin; Kakuzu is likely infamous in certain circles but given none of the Konoha guys made a huge deal of him, I HC him mostly keeping a low profile pre-Akatsuki. But Sasori is from an important Suna family, murdered the Kazekage, and also at one point took out a whole country somehow. Dude's been a scary, well-known missing-nin for a long time.

[bts-reveries]

the most beautiful moment in life | epilogue

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life.

We all knew that to get to the pretty parts of life, you’d have to get ugly first. 

Hey, no pain no gain right? 

Well I hope you liked our most beautiful moment in life. Thank you for going through the good, the bad, and the ugly. For running after Hana with Yoongi when she saw the grand opening of 24/7 Heaven. For walking with Huimang to Hobi’s door. For riding the train to Ilsan with Byul to meet Namjoon. For being with Jimin when he was scared and alone with Mingyu. For being with Taehyung when he finally met the one. For being with Jungkook and Rina when they got engaged. And for being with Jin and Mae when their perfect life wasn’t so perfect after all. 

It was happy, it was sad, sometimes it made us mad… but I mean, that’s what we have to go through sometimes right? Not only does it make the story more interesting, haha, but it happens in real life. As cheesy as it sounds, rainbows come after the rain.  

We started off happy, then went to parts that made us sad or angry.

That’s just what you go through to be happy sometimes.

The boys, the girls, the kids, they all fell apart at one point, only to reach their happy ending.

So hey

If you ever feel like you’re falling apart, maybe you’re just falling into place.

Maybe

Just maybe

You’re about to reach the most beautiful moment of your life.

Because right now, in real life, away from this one, we are all going through the same thing.

Yeah, the pandemic.

I know we don’t all live the same exact lives, but we all had it rough this past (almost) two years.

We might’ve lost a job, a loved one, connection with friends, got sick, got depressed, felt scared, and so much more. Because I have. Not every single one of those in that list, but most of them. 

If you were here since daddy duties, that was the start of the pandemic. I believe the lockdown in my country happened when I was posting the intro for that. How crazy?!

For most of us, this AU has been a little escape. A world without covid as someone once said. Actually, a lot of you have told me that reading this AU and receiving notifications for updates etc. are what makes your day. Which means so much to me of course!

“Hey Miya.”

I look up from my laptop to see Jin standing there in front of my desk here at work. 

“Hey Jin, do you need anything?” I ask, closing my laptop. I always brought my personal laptop to work for whenever it gets quiet. Being a receptionist here at Moon Studios is pretty fun, but of course, it does get boring sometimes. 

“No, no, I’m good. I actually am about to head home, but Yeonjun is still here,” Jin tells me. He has a smile on his face. “You two should go out, isn’t your shift over in a few?”

“Uh.. yeah it is,” I say, letting out a shy laugh. “Sure, um. I’ll just finish this up and I can go and meet him.” Jin nods.

“Okay, I’ll text him to come down soon. See you again tomorrow,” he says, walking away.

“See ya!”

Okay, anywho.

This was fun. A lot of us have a special connection with these characters and don’t want to see them go. Some want to see Rina and JK get married, I mean, we have all been anticipating it since the beginning right? Some want Sarang and Hobi to finally have a baby. And some just want to see the kids grow up. 

Because, well… 

Life Goes On

!note to readers!

This is in the span of a few years, not everyone’s first pic, second pic, etc. is on the same timeline (does that make sense?)

The instagram post shows a preview of their lives after the most beautiful moment in life. No, they did not all get engaged around the same exact time, nor did they all get married the same time/year, and had kids at the same time lol. It just shows that after the most beautiful moment in life they went on with their lives and got engaged, got married, had kids etc.

It could be the same year or different years. (ex. Rina and JK could of gotten married the same year Sohyun and Yoongi got engaged and around that time, Sarang and Hobi got pregnant.)

No years or dates were specified in this epilogue.

Also, the OCs instagram profiles are in the order of the AU’s release, not the dates of when the events of their lives happened!

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

the most beautiful moment in life 

☻ epilogue ☻

pairings: BTS x OCs (yoongi x sohyun, hoseok x sarang, namjoon x byul, jimin x yuna, taehyung x bora, jungkook x rina, seokjin x mae)

a/n: now this wraps it up! i felt like i said everything i needed to say already up there. but here’s a bit more. this au is so so so dear to my heart. never have i ever thought it would make it this far. nor did i ever think that i would have this many people reading it! i have made so many friends from this series. you all have a special place in my heart! thank you to everyone who followed along since the very beginning, and even the ones whom just found out about us in the last member’s au. i didn’t think i’d be so attached to these characters, so just like a lot of you.. i want a part two. so with that being said, the most beautiful moment in life goes on. let this be a “part two” to the series, although it will be completely different in terms of format (???) i’ll have an official post on it later this week! until then, this isn’t good bye :)

taglist: @ramyagovindraj​ @sope-and-shine​ @jayhope88​ @casspirit0705​ @mygooie0 @fan-ati--c​ @spacxmann​ @princessjazzyjazz​ @sugaaddiction​ @ephyra1230​ @starlitemotions​ @alittlestudycorner​ @justinetingball​ @somewhereofftheglobe​ @ygbubs​ @salty-for-suga​ @momma-said-that-it-was-oke​ @mikrokosmicjoon​ @taekookcaneatme​ @betysotelo18​ [photos found via instagram and pinterest (mostly pinterest, so most of the pictures are unknown) here are the baby’s instagram:

jin: wooju_mom

namjoon: 2ah.in

yoongi: kimibbong1317

hoseok: nayun_mom

jimin: p_aiou

taehyung: no instagram, found on pinterest (jhanuul)

jungkook: tokki.daram]

[miraculousfrenchculture]

Hello! I believe you guys mentioned before that the show goes into a lot of Parisian clichés? Could you guys perhaps elaborate on that? I'm really curious lol

Heya!

The show indulges indeed into some French and more importantly, Parisian clichés from time to time! Though not everything is clichés because lots of things are more cultural, like when we see the characters greeting each other with "la bise" for instance.

For a starter, a lot around the set up and the main character is cliché:

Marinette's parents are bakers living in a bakery, and while yes we do have that here, bakeries are considered a very typical "French" thing so choosing your main character's parents to be bakers is kinda playing on the cliché of France

Gabriel being a fashion designer, Adrien being a model and Marinette wanting to be a fashion designer: France and fashion is something pretty cliché as well

Then, there's the fact that the Eiffel Tower is present everywhere. Any show happening in Paris will try to have it on full view as much as possible and Miraculous is no exception to the rule.

Another really cliché thing that I know I've joked about on my personal blog a while ago is the outfits Marinette designed in Reflekdoll (that we also jokingly reused for the current profil picture of this blog):

Doesn't it remind you of something? Here, I'll help a little with this very thorough google search: French cliché outfit

...yeah, I think you get why this was very cliché now haha

In the same vein, André the ice-cream man's outfit is also pretty cliché:

He could have honestly posed with the kids for Marinette's designs shoot and no one would have seen a difference hahaha

Regarding Chloé's outfit, this is not exactly a Parisian cliché and we're not quite sure but it screams "typical rain outfit for someone living in Bretagne". Did they do it on purpose? We'll let you be the judge of that:

Also, everything that is painted as over-romantic in Paris is cliché: André the sweethearts ice-cream man selling his ice-cream on the Pont des Arts (known for being the sweethearts bridge with all the lockers) for instance plays a lot with the idea that Paris is a romantic city. Same with the rickshaw from Gigatitan, or even Chat Noir's over-the-top kind of flirting with hand kisses and everything.

Another thing is the kwamis' food preferences:

Plagg loving smelly cheese and particularly camembert is pretty cliché, especially one foreigners have about French people

Tikki eating macarons, a typical and famous French sweet treat

In general, some of Marinette's presents for Adrien are pretty clichés such as the beret from Chat Blanc or the macarons from Animaestro.

There's probably some more, and if we notice others things we'll reblog this post and add them in it, but here you go 😄

[sjhanny2000]

Secrets Worth Sharing

A/N: Hey y'all! This is my first Naruto fanfic, which I've also posted on Archive of Our Own. Please be kind and enjoy!

Warning(s): Minor character death, angst, hurt/comfort, intersex characters, arranged marriage, talks/thoughts about abortion/miscarriage

~~~~

Tobirama Senju was a man of many secrets. Well, more like a man that highly values his own privacy and is not as open as other individuals (like his easy-trusting older brother for example). He was not given the privilege of being open with his truths and feelings, having been groomed from birth to be a heartless shinobi who did not allow his emotions to interfere with his performance. His father had been harsh with these facts whilst training and out on the battlefield, blunt and uncaring that Tobirama and his brothers were children and children had no place amongst the battlefield and shouldn’t be expected to take a life without a bat of an eye. Kawarama had only been seven when he was ripped away from this world, so young and full of life, and it had taken everything in Tobirama’s small, lanky eleven pre-pubescent form to not break down much like his elder brother had, to feel such unbridled emotion his surviving otouto had felt. Itama’s death only a year later (sweet, innocent, and healing Itama) wrung him dry of tears, of allowing himself to be so vulnerable when it came to loss because to die ‘in battle was honorable’, at least that’s what their father had said as dirt was piled atop of his otouto’s grave to the right of Kawarama’s. He fought with every fiber of his being to protect what little family he had left, taking hits meant for Hashirama and saving Toka from debilitating blows, creating new jutsus, and putting the needs and feelings of others before his own because he wasn’t supposed to feel, shinobi don’t feel-.

Then, as he stood dutifully beside his anija opposite the Uchiha heirs amongst their fellow clansmen, Tobirama couldn’t help but feel. Moments before he had nearly stolen the life of one Izuna Uchiha and as adrenaline and tension crossed through his ever lanky yet muscular form, the conversation mingling between the opposing clans made his heart thumped against his chest as the two clan heads agreed to peace. Hope fluttered dangerously in his chest as his wine colored orbs searched Madara’s half hidden profile, gazing at those pools of obsidian with caution and reluctance whilst trying to determine whether the Uchiha was speaking truth when he offered his hand in establishing between through blood soaked clans. The time following the mutual surrender of the Senju and Uchiha, of Hashirama and Madara finally obtaining the means of support to create the peace they had dreamed of from a young age as they were forced to bury clansmen and young brothers, was a whirlwind of events, filled with peace talks, negotiations, and making sure his anija did not make a fool of himself. He waited for the other shoe to drop as each party laid out the final agreements, for this foolish dream of peace between the two rivals to come to an end before he began to believe it was true, and much to his surprise and his other clansmen (including his far too optimistic elder brother), the Uchiha set a requirement for concession.

“A Senju heir must marry one of ours, as a show of mutual acceptance of these peace agreements and in means of acquiring extra security for our clan.”

By the time this peace talks came to be, Hashirama and Mito had been married for nearly a year already and with the eldest Senju heir already taken and the other two dead and gone, the responsibility of establishing peace, in ending the unnecessary bloodshed between their respective clans, to honor the unneeded deaths of Itama and Kawarama, fell onto Tobirama’s shoulders. Being placed in such a position with no means of escape or replacement had been both suffocating and frustrating but he knew better than to reject the frail olive branch the Uchiha had set before them. Hashirama had tried to reason with Madara, (“Madara, is this really necessary-?”), and before the Uchiha clan head could even think of a response, Tobirama calmly sealed his fate.

“We agree to the terms you lay before us.”

His readied agreeance shocked not only his brother and cousin but floored the Uchiha delegation, particularly one Madara Uchiha who stared at him like he had grown a second head. Many deemed him one of the greatest haters of the Uchiha, having seen his treatment towards the rival clan on and off the battlefield, but Tobirama truly had no firm and enduring hate and ill-will towards the fire natured shinobi. Yes, he felt hate towards the Uchiha that had slaughtered his brothers but it was not directed towards the entirety of the Uchiha; they had been at war and a shinobi did whatever it took to survive or gain an upper hand, even if it meant killing the innocent. He found himself wondering what Kawarama and Itama would be like as he stood there with determination, arms crossed over his chest with finality. Would they be upset at seeing him agree to practically give himself away as a bargaining chip as a means to obtaining peace? Would they beg for there to be another way, to demand the Uchiha change their mind? Sadly, he would never know and that piece of knowing reality only strengthened his resolve.

Hashirama, placed between a rock and a hard place, conceded to giving away his only living brother away as a means of finally having peace and Tobirama watched as dread and reluctance colored his anija’s tar colored eyes. The plans of this arranged marriage were set and Tobirama found himself coming to look eye to eye with his promised husband and obsidian orbs subtly clashed with his pools of merlot, an unspoken bond now tying them together forever. Upon arriving back at the Senju compound, Tobirama found himself subjected to a nearly hysterical Hashirama, his elder brother demanding why, why had Tobirama agreed to such demands, there had to be another way-! Toka, while significantly more in control of her emotions, had similar demands, her main emotions having been anger and frustration (“There is only enough room for one idiot in this family, little cousin, and Hashirama already has that role covered!”) and after dealing with a depressed Hashirama, Tobirama did his best to soothe his cousin's worries. The only calm and rational person aside from Tobirama himself was Mito, his well-collected and commanding sister-in-law swiftly jumping in and knocking some sense into her blubbering husband and seething cousin-in-law and if she told him that she questioned his intelligence as they parted ways for the night, only the gods and the chirping crickets would know.

With the negotiations finished and the bed made and laid in by both parties, the construction of Hashirama and Madara’s dream village began and with it began his forced courtship with the Uchiha clan head. Hashirama, in an attempt to be intimidating, threatened the apathetic Uchiha with bodily harm if he ever came to harm his “precious otouto”, those his threats fell short for numerous reasons, the largest being that the peace treaty prohibited any violence occurring between the clans. Tobirama was swift in reminding his anija of this fact. Madara and his courtship began with a rocky start, as many arranged marriages do (Hashirama and Mito’s being the rare exception), and the need to be open emotionally, to not hide his emotions and to be the mind and voice of reason always was a difficult task. His betrothed also struggled with this reality, to be vulnerable in a world that ate such an open state with murderous glee, and arguments were had and feelings accidentally stepped on. Two emotionally stunted men together was a recipe for disaster and many watched them with bated breaths, for their engagement to fall apart, for the cautious hopes for peace to shatter into millions of pieces before their very eyes. The weight to succeed weighed heavy on Tobirama’s shoulders and as he stood in the middle of Madara and Izuna’s backyard amidst another argument with Madara, copious amounts of rain hailing from above without restraint as frustration and confusion tormented his soul, it finally forced him to collapse. He shouted at the Uchiha standing a mere few feet away from him under the roof of the engawa, tears racing down his marked face as he shouted himself hoarse, one of the worst storms in the region's history unfolding around them. Madara watched him with irritation, a well-made mask of indifference sitting upon his stoic visage, and as Tobirama finally gave up, when he threw the towel in and allow himself to be vulnerable for the first time in years, the Uchiha’s rough lips were suddenly on his own and suddenly his surroundings, his worries, his fears were gone and replaced with warm comfort.

Their relationship became one of truth and openness from that moment forward, the two of them doing their best to establish a balance between themselves, and unknowingly fell in love along the way. By the time the primary building of Konoha had been completed and their wedding date arrived, Tobirama could confidently (and quite fondly, though no one needed to know this at the time) state that he loved Madara Uchiha. As they exchanged their vows before the clans of the village, with Izuna smirking that ugly smirk of his and Hashirama in tears as his poor wife comforted the weeping fool (“He is taking Tobi away from me Mito!”, “Tobirama is not yours beloved, he is a grown man.”) Tobirama gazed at his husband to be with honest hope and heated cheeks. His heart sweetly ached at hearing Madara say “I do”, at knowing without a doubt in his mind that he was now Madara’s and Madara was his, that he had someone in which he could wholly confide his secrets and feelings in, and Tobirama knew he had been blessed well the moment their lips joined, sealing their marital union as those around them cheered and sobbed in the case of his anija. Their marriage, while lovely, of course experienced its own bumps here and there, particularly on matters of legislation and equality within the village, but Tobirama wouldn’t trade it away for the world because a world without Madara at his side was not worth living in.

Yet, as he stared at the white stick resting within his shaking hands, Tobirama feared that the world they had made was going to shatter at any second. Two lines of crimson glared at him with undenying truth, the feeling of an extra, new source of chakra nestled within his own person only confirming the results within his grasp. He had been born as an anomaly not only in appearance but in anatomicalities as well; the midwife had nearly passed out when she caught sight of not only albinism but his newborn self having both male and female genitalia and his father’s reaction hadn’t been much kinder. Few people knew of his condition and those who did typically accepted him no matter his abnormalities, Madara being no exception to that, and as he found himself happily married and being tasked with teaching the up and coming generation, the Senju found the yearning to have children of his own grow with each hair ruffle.

Tobirama knew the likelihood of someone with his condition, rare as it was, being able to carry a child let only father one and had unhappily accepted that he would never be able to have a child of both his and Madara’s making. With this truth in mind, the two of them still practiced safe sex and were content with the moments of parenthood being a mentor allowed them, never feeling compelled to strive for anything more; well, at least, Madara hadn’t shown any interest of having children of their own. Even with their vigilance and cautiousness, they ended slipping up here and there, having drunk too much sake or simply enjoyed feeling one another intimately, flesh to flesh, and now here Tobirama was, standing alone in their shared bathroom, two seconds from imploding as he internally panicked. How could this have happened? They had been so careful! What was Madara going to think?!

Silent, unshed tears threatened to fall down his pale features, the gravity of the situation at hand weighing down on him without any restraint. Madara and he were busy with their village and clan duties, with Tobirama being the advisor to his idiot brother who had been elected hokage somehow, along with being the Uchiha matriarch, and Madara acting as his other advisor and clan head. They had already been married for two years and were financially and emotionally stable as two shinobi could be and would have no trouble affording the costs that came along with having a child. No, Tobirama worried over whether this pregnancy was even viable and if Madara would want the child growing within him. The two of them were happy and content with their childless life, what if Madara only wanted that? He couldn’t give up his child so easily, the chance of having one in itself was a miracle, but he could never imagine living a life without his dark haired Uchiha. This secret was going to be the literal death of him.

*Knock knock*

Soft knocks from the bathroom doorway ripped Tobirama away from his heavy thoughts, the Senju hurried tucking the test into the pocket of his training pants, calling out swiftly, “Enter!”

He was thoroughly relieved when the calm personage of his sister-in-law appeared in the doorway, a look of caution and soft worry conflicting with her beautiful features as she stepped forward, sliding the door closed behind her.

Comforting pools of inky black washed over his form, the Uzumaki princess coming to kneel beside him, “No one saw me enter. It is just us.”

Relief flooded his system once more, a shaky sigh escaping the albino as he ran a hand through his hair for probably the millionth time in that hour alone, “Thank the gods.”

“If I may ask, what is this sudden need for secrecy Tobirama,” Mito questioned calmly, gazing at him with searching eyes. “Has something happened?”

Here goes nothing…

Slowly retrieving the test hidden within his pants pocket, Tobirama shakily deposited it into his sister-in-law’s hands, and if the situation had been different, Tobirama would have revelled in being able to shake Mito into a state of shock as she was now.

The Uzumaki’s now avid attention shifted from the positive pregnancy test to Tobirama, the redhead murmuring with caution, “Are you certain?”

He gave her a weak nod, his nerves growing with each second. “I can sense another source of chakra developing within me. Its size fits with the time frame of the last time Madara and I slept together without protection eight weeks ago.”

“Does Madara know of this,” Mito replied, face growing stoic once more. His lack of an answer had his brother’s wife sighing, placing the test back within Tobirama’s grip, “I see. I figure this pregnancy was neither planned nor expected.”

Tobirama did his best to reign in his fluctuating emotions, the sensor squeezing his eyes shut, “I presumed having a child of our own would never be a reality, considering our circumstances. We have never discussed having children, Mito; what if he does not want to be a father? I-I cannot just dispose of it.”

Mito shifted her form, a comforting hand coming to rest on his shoulder, “While I cannot speak entirely on your husband’s behalf, Tobirama, I know I can say that he would be over the moon to hear you are with child. Madara treasures the clan children, why would he not adore having his own?”

Both he and Madara treasured the children within the Uchiha clan, spending large amounts of time assisting fellow clan members by babysitting their spawn or teaching them various jutsus. Tobirama had often found himself imagining the dark haired children that often swarmed his husband were their children, excited to see their father after a long day. A reality he never thought possible until now.

Pools of wine, shakened with doubt and worry, came to fall upon Mito’s face of comfort and dignity, “How do I even go about telling him? What if he assumes the child is not his?”

She squeezed his shoulder in reassurance, voice smooth as water and warm as midday sun, “He would have to be stupider than he is now to conclude the child within you is the product of adulterous actions, brother. You simply need to be honest with him, just as you always have been; keeping this secret will only complicate things more.”

“Tobirama, I’m home!”

No, no, no, he wasn’t ready, he-!

It was only Mito’s touch that kept Tobirama grounded in that moment of panic, the Uzumaki stating with confidence, “Some things cannot be kept secret Tobirama. Tell him.”

“Tobirama? Is everything alright -?”

Madara’s familiar figure appeared in the bathroom doorway, the Uchiha’s already concerned face only intensifying as he stopped mid sentence, coming to kneel beside Tobirama with worry, “What has happened?”

Standing to her feet with grace, whilst knocking the pregnancy test out of view, Mito greeted the Uchiha clan head with a small smile, “Nothing that will not right itself in time, my friend. Now please excuse me, I promised my husband of mine that I would have his favorite dish prepared for him before he returns.”

Her gaze shifted to Tobirama with skillful ease, stating calmly, “Have faith Tobirama, all will be well.”

With that, the Uzumaki was gone, and the two men were left to themselves, an awkward silence quickly enveloping their persons due to her absence.

It was Madara who spoke first, the Uchiha taking Tobirama’s bare hand in his gloved one, “Are you alright Tobirama?”

Was he alright? He was eight weeks pregnant with a child he was not even sure had been possible until his discovery, one he was not certain that his husband would want. The Senju had numerous duties to fulfill not just as the advisor to the Hokage and as clan matriarch but also as a sensei to his students; he would not be able to assist them in learning for the following months until the child’s subsequent arrival.

Tobirama swallowed the fear attempting to slither up his throat, hand tightening around Madara’s, “Promise me that you will listen to what I have to say before releasing your judgement Madara.”

“What is going? Tobirama-!”

Steeling himself, Tobirama gave his husband a stern glare, “Promise me.”

Madara shifted uneasily in his position beside Tobirama, answering reluctantly, “I promise to listen.”

An agitated sigh left the sensor, Tobirama doing his best to gather his thoughts, “As you know, I have been experiencing fatigue and bouts of sickness these past few weeks. To better understand the reasons behind my condition, I conducted various tests on myself and whilst running these tests, came across a foreign entity within myself.”

His husband stiffened and moved to speak but Tobirama cut him off before a sound could escape him, “Worried that it was unnatural, I began to run more in depth tests to better understand the origin of this foreign entity.”

“In the end, with my symptoms in mind, I conducted a final test to confirm my suspicions. The results have me anxious about your reaction, because it is something I did not think possible of occurring.”

The clan head gazed at him with wariness, fear present in those beautiful pools of midnight black that Tobirama loves to peer into for hours on end, but Madara’s voice is strong with determination, “Whatever it is Tobirama, we will face it together! Hell, that idiot brother of yours will do everything in his power to fix it!”

A frown formed on Tobirama’s face, the sensor retorting quietly, “This is not something that can be healed Madara-.”

“It cannot hurt to at least try,” Madara shouted, his other hand coming to cup Tobirama’s left cheek. “I refuse to let you die laying down you foolish Senju-!”

Chuckling wetly, tears of anxiety and cautious joy blurred his vision, “I am not dying you Uchiha idiot.”

Confliction of relief and confusion waged on Madara’s personage, “You are not? But you said it was unfixable-!”

Tobirama was quick to cut him off, giving the fiery man a firm look, “If you had let me finish before rudely interrupting me, I was going to tell you that the condition I am in cannot be healed but it will fix itself on its own in seven months time you blockhead!”

Black eyes searched his person, clearly scrambling for answers, and the albino groaned in annoyance, “I swear, you can be as dense as my brother at times! I am trying to tell you that I am pregnant, you imbecile!”

Oh kami, what had he done?

Madara froze in his spot beside Tobirama, staring at him with undetectable emotion, and the sensor instantly was sent into a panic at his reaction, “I know we have never officially discussed having children and I know having a child right now while the village is still so young and with us being so busy is not logical but I want to have this child and I will raise it with or without your approval-!”

Rough lips smothering his own cut him off mid-rant, fiery passion burning brightly in the act of intimacy as his husband’s other hand came to cup his right cheek, and after a few moments of quiet, Madara pulled away, joy shining brightly in his tear-blurred eyes, “How could you ever think that I would not want to have a child with the man I love?”

With that, Tobirama fell apart, silent tears rolling down his cheeks as he timidly replied, “A normal man could never do this.“

“Who said I wanted a normal man,” Madara firmly questioned, eyes stern and passionate. “I married a man who is a genius shinobi in his own right, who also happens to have a condition that has gifted us with a chance to have a child of our own flesh when so many others couples dream of such an opportunity!”

“You are not upset,” Tobirama whispered cautiously.

Madara gave him a shining smile and kissed him once more, tears of his own running down his face as his right hand came to rest on the albino’s flat stomach, “I could never be upset over something like this Tobirama. A child is a gift from the gods; I only pray it has your beautiful mind.”

The Senju stifled a sob at the Uchiha’s confession and Madara rested his forehead against Tobirama’s, allowing him to give his husband soft, comforting kisses.

After a few moments, Tobirama was able to reign himself in, giving Madara a small grin, “Hashirama and Izuna are going to be complete nightmares once they learn I am expecting.”

Scoffing, Madara pulled away, though he didn’t move his hand resting on Tobirama’s abdomen, “Those two buffoons are already nightmares in general. All hell will break loose once they hear they will be receiving a niece or nephew within the year.”

A comfortable silence filled the area for a few minutes before Tobirama spoke once more, “I asked that we do not let anyone know of the baby until at least the twelfth week mark, Mito aside of course; I do not want to get anyone excited in case I happen to miscarry.”

“You are not going to miscarry anything,” Madara stated confidently, moving Tobirama to rest his back against his chest whilst other hand came to join his right one. “But I understand your reasoning and agree to wait until you are ready to share this news.”

Tobirama turned his head to look at his husband, murmuring lovingly, “Thank you Madara.”

His husband pecked his lips, replying fondly, “Anything for you, my husband.”

Some secrets were better worth sharing after all.

[holykillercake]

One Year

pairing: Zoro x Reader

word count: 2k

summary: No summary this time. I´ll just say this ¨Bartholomew Kuma and Sabaody¨. Read at your own risk. Seriously, ¨KUMA AND SABAODY¨, do you understand?

highlight: ¨Everyone did their best, but no one could have done better.¨

warnings: angst with happy ending; Sabaody Archipelago spoilers (?)

notes: Hey guys! This was a request from @roronoatrash​ in which ¨Zoro who has 0 sense of direction seemed to always find his way back to is s/o, and his s/o only.¨. I really hope you like it!💚 This is also the first time I write a Devil Fruit user, so I'm considering a sequel to develop the character and add more humor.

𝕷𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘, 𝖗𝖊𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖘, 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊!

It was a cloudy and melancholic day in the New World. The men on board were leisurely enjoying their afternoon; some drinking, some napping, some eating. The air was humid and cold, and the tides were strangely calm. No one seemed to care. After all, that was the New World. 

¨Boss!¨ the lookout shouted from the crow's nest ¨Something is falling from the sky! It´s going to land on deck!¨

All men tilted their heads to look at the sky, watching a tiny black spot become bigger and more recognizable.

¨Is that what I think it is?¨ the captain asked himself, not believing his eyes.

¨Boss, is that a girl?¨

¨Yep, I think so.¨

They stood still watching what they suspected was a girl fall from the skies. The red-haired took a quick glimpse at his first-mate and officers, and since no one moved, he felt safe to assume that that was not a threat. Mainly because whatever was falling towards the ship looked dead already. 

The body fell through the main deck and went straight to the lower level of the ship. The captain and his officers stood around the hole on the wooden floor, observing the unconscious and injured body of a girl. 

¨I´ve seen some crazy things rain around here... but this is new.¨ he spoke.

They were ready to have someone dispose of the dead body when the girl opened her eyes, putting herself on her shaky legs. Blood dripped from her eyebrows and nose, and she had bruises all over. Her eyes wandered around as if she was looking for something.

¨Z-Zoro...¨ she spoke when her teary eyes met the captain´s ¨I-I need to find Zoro.¨ 

That was all she said before falling on her knees and collapsing. 

                                                             </>

Almost a year has passed since the tragedy in Sabaody Archipelago. A year passed since you were defeated in the fight against the marine force. Your gashes closed, and your bruises healed, but there was a wound that would not go away, even after one year. 

So much had happened since that day. Luffy had broken into Impel Down, fought in the Paramount War, and lost his brother, Ace. A few days later you received the hidden message he had left you, saying that you were no longer going to meet in Sabaody in three days but in two years.

It took you a while to understand the situation you and the rest of the Strawhats were in, and it took you even more to let go of your selfishness and trust them. The guilt for not being strong enough to protect yourself and your comrades ate you alive during the first weeks, but then you considered how they must be feeling too. No one could have done better. 

Everyone did their best, but no one could have done better. 

For one year, whenever a News Coo flew by to deliver a newspaper, you would run and grab it before anyone did, hoping to see another message from your friends. But the status of your captain was the only one you knew so far. You knew he was training with Rayleigh-san, and this whole two years thing should have been his idea. 

When Bartholomeu Kuma used his Devil Fruit powers on you, you ended up landing on the ship of the Red Hair Pirates. They would always tell you how you rained on their Red Force and broke the deck floor. They said you were looking for someone, and during your stay in the infirmary, you would always call for the same person. 

For months nightmares had you waking up in the middle of the night panting and crying. The same one, torturing you in an infinite and merciless loop. 

Every detail, color, and noise. Everything was so precise and clear in your head. 

When he fought still injured from the last encounter with the Shichibukai; when he stood up and faced the Warlord fearlessly. Even with the damages caused by Kizaru and the Pacifistas, he stood up. 

And maybe your eyes fooled you, maybe your exhausted body played a sick trick on you because he was there until he wasn´t.

 Right in front of your eyes.

 His cropped green hair and tanned skin, the vibrant red and white striped shirt, the scar across his chest, the haramaki, and the swords. Gone, simple as that. 

But after all the training that you had with the Red Hair Pirates, you seemed more in peace with yourself. After one year, the nightmares would bother you only every once in a while. You were not prepared for the New World before, maybe still aren´t, but you will get there. 

And they made everything easier. It was no mystery why Luffy liked them so much. Whenever you were not engaged in a fight or some other Emperor crap, those guys were incredibly light-spirited. And the moment they realized you were part of Luffy´s crew they treated your wounds and welcomed you onboard. 

Shanks agreed to have his men training you, but he made very clear that no one would babysit you, so it was ¨keep up or keep out.¨. You spent most of your time with Yassop, Benn, or Roux, for they were the best in the abilities you exercised. 

Inside the Strawhats you were a stealth agent, mostly because of your Devil Fruit, the Nagi Nagi no Mi, once possessed by a Marine Commander. Another Supernova, the Surgeon of Death Trafalgar Law had told you that before shit broke in Sabaody. 

You used that combined with your fighting skills to breach the enemy´s first line of defense before they saw you coming. Usually, Usopp would assist you with the sniper training, trade he ¨learned from a friend¨, Sogeking. 

His father was an extraordinary sniper, and he used the same kind of firearms as you, differently than Usopp´s slingshot. Benn´s combat skills were remarkable, and Roux was exceptionally fast for a man his size. You haven´t had a lot of opportunities to fight the Red Hair himself, though you had a strong will, his Haki was something you have never seen before. 

¨We´re going to a bar, kid. You´re coming?¨ Benn asked you with his cigarette on his lips. 

You pondered a little over his invitation but decided to decline it. ¨Thanks, Benn, but I´m keeping a low profile tonight.¨ He nodded and smiled, turning to follow his crewmates ¨Don´t drink too much, we have training tomorrow!¨ 

The first mate laughed shortly and spoke without looking at you ¨Roger that, kid.¨ 

You walked the opposite way, wandering between the vegetables and gimmicks tents, feeling the kind sunset kiss your skin. There was some music playing, kids running around with ice cream in their hands, laughing loudly and happily. Marketers were announcing their prices, housewives were thinking about delicious recipes to prepare for their families, and couples would sit together around the font, swearing love to each other.

Every day was like that. The citizens would wish their neighbors ¨good morning¨ from their windows; bakers would open the doors early, letting the delightful smell of fresh bread wake up those who slept in.  

How could you, in the middle of all that happiness, feel so sad and lost?

You sighed and made a route change. Maybe you needed a little bit of booze. 

The island where Shanks had decided to dock was in the Grand Line, a place where they were known and welcomed. So you knew where they were, and it would be a short walk to get there.

¨Y/N?¨ 

You turned automatically, thinking that a crew member had gotten lost and was looking for his captain - or boss, how he likes to be called.

 But when you saw the man standing in front of you, everything stopped. The music, the kids, and the love promises. 

At some point, you started to cry and hyperventilate, believing you were in another nightmare, and you would have to go through that day all over again. Your lover carried pain in his eyes as well, like his fears were the same as yours. 

Those minutes you stared at each other felt like hours while you kept every detail of him in your memory. His hair was slightly longer, and his complexion was paler, even with the sunset painting his skin. 

¨Z-Zoro...¨ you whispered shakily.

He gave a step forward ¨Y/N... it´s you...¨ 

You ran in his direction as soon as your name fell out of his mouth. Your arms embraced his neck, and your legs gave up when he held you tight against his body, whispering comforting words as you broke into tears. 

¨I...¨ nothing but sobs came out.

¨I know... me too.¨ he fondled your hair and hid his face in the curve of your neck. And there stood the both of you, not wanting to let the other go. 

                                                          </>

¨How did you know I was here?¨ you asked and he blushed a little.

¨I didn´t... I had to buy stuff for the castle, and I got lost.¨ a loud laugh came out of your mouth. It was so obvious, how didn´t you guess that?

¨They didn´t give you a log pose?¨

¨They did, but I took a nap and when I woke up, I was here.¨

You spent the rest of the day cuddling on the beach sand. Zoro was laying on his back, and you were resting on his chest. You had one year worth of conversation to catch up on, and neither of you rushed to do so. He told you about Mihawk, the creepy island in which the only native habitants were copycat human drills, the boat he destroyed, and even how he begged the Warlord to train him.

The sun had started to hide behind the sea, and the warm sand was cooling down. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore together with the salty breeze made you question if you had died at some point, and that was heaven.

¨You´re paler.¨ he chuckled.

¨It´s not very sunny where I´m living.¨ 

¨Hm...¨ you hummed ¨And how long did you take to figure out Luffy´s message?¨ 

¨Oh...¨ he thought for a second ¨ I knew right away.¨ you giggled and doodled on his chest with your finger. 

You felt his chest go up and down as he let out a sigh. 

¨I missed you, Y/N.¨ he hugged you tighter. 

¨I missed you too.¨ you stayed in silence for a few minutes ¨Anyway, when are you setting sail again?¨ You asked him softly, and he tensed up. ¨I know... ¨ your lips began to tremble ¨ I don´t want to go either, but what happened in Sabaody... I don´t want that to happen ever again.¨ you bit your lip as tears started to roll on your cheeks. 

He wiped the tears with his fingers and pulled you closer. None of you wanted to part ways again, but not only those were your captain´s order that was your future. If something like that happens again in the New World, a two-year separation would be the best scenario possible. 

¨It won´t. I promise.¨

When the night came, you decided to stay on the beach and talked until you fell asleep under the stars. The best sleep you´ve had in a long time. No nightmares, no agony, and no pain. Just the warmth and peace you missed so much.

On the following morning, you helped him get the provisions for Mihawk´s castle. You toured around the city holding hands and joking, kinda like the couples sitting by the font, enjoying every second you had before he left. 

If he didn´t get lost trying to go back to Kuraigana Island, it would be a quick trip. You assisted him with the bags and walked him to his boat. Your heart ached to say goodbye to him, but you had to. The circumstances were bigger than the two of you.

¨I love you, Zoro.¨ you hugged him and tried not to cry again.

¨I love you more, Y/N.¨

¨Careful with the naps, ok?¨ he chuckled and nodded ¨One year. We´ll meet again in one year.¨ 

¨Wait for me. I´ll go get you, and we´ll return to Sabaody together.¨ 

¨But how will you know where I will be?¨

¨It doesn´t matter where you´ll be. I´ll always find you.¨

[icequeenbae]

Desert Flower (m) Ch. 2 | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader x Baëkhyun

Characters: EXO and X-EXO (not all of them mentioned)

EXO vs X-EXO dynamics, complicated relationships, angsty, action, smut (as usual)

Warnings: sorta mingling with your ex’s ‘evil twin’, mentions of blood/ violence (nothing too graphic… I suppose), Y/N gets teary a lot(?), explicit content, rough sex, unprotected sex

Word Count: ~13.5k (full), ~3.4k (Chapter 2)

Summary: Baekhyun, your beloved boyfriend of three years, suddenly breaks up with you and disappears from the city in an attempt to protect you. But leaving you alone and clueless means trouble will surely find you. For it is easy to spot a flower in the desert.

Masterlist   >> One >> Two (m) >> Three (m) >> Four (fin)

Author’s Note: This chapter is going to be a little different! There’s angst, there’s drama, there’s smut... You will find out what I meant by ‘complicated relationships’ �� Don’t forget to share your thoughts^^

Tags: @blahblahblah-boo​ @baeklightsx​ @wooya1224​ @baekklove​

Chapter 2. Get him back

The day he left you it was pouring, and in your mind, it rained ever since. Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks flew by. You did everything on autopilot, without thinking or differentiating between tasks. Everything around you was a grey mess, and you couldn’t maintain a single thought in your head, not one thought that didn’t have something to do with the breakup.

Was it even that? He just left, telling you that it was ‘for your own good’. Asking for no opinions. Frankly, you were angry with him. You would've been furious, but it was hard to tap into your irritation when it hurt so much in your chest. For the first time in your life, you realized that you were gone too far. So far, that you felt like a piece of you was missing now. The one you’d possibly never get back.

You also realized that you belonged fully to that friend circle as well — there wasn’t even anyone for you to talk to anymore, or wallow with, which made your sorry ass feel even more pathetic. Your entire world revolved around your protective boyfriend of three years, and now that he was gone it felt as unsafe as ever. Who knows, maybe it was your sixth sense alerting you as to what was to come.

It happened over a month after your last encounter with Baekhyun.

You were lounging in the campus library, mostly because your weeks of heartbreak caused you to miss a few deadlines, so now you had to take additional assignments to do well at the finals. Having no inspiration, or better yet, no one to hurry to, made you stay there for long hours, barely managing to get one task completed at a time.

The space was almost empty since it was rather late, and looking around you suddenly felt a tinge of nostalgia. Muttering that you should get ahold of your stupid self, you walked slowly towards the tall aisle with your useless book. In the labyrinth, you wandered for a bit, reminiscing of the first interaction with your… now ex? Your first boyfriend? Your first love?

The thought left a bitter taste in your mouth, and you opted for walking further as if surrounded by books you could somehow block your bubbling feelings out.

A strange sound caught your attention.

No idea why, you kept walking towards it, soon stepping around the corner and freezing on the spot.

Only a few feet away there was a couple making out. The girl was pressed harshly into the shelves and grunted, as her partner shoved one hand underneath her shirt to squeeze her breast, and his other one grasped her neck, adding to the obscenity of their misplaced passion. You were ready to flush tomato red and vanish on the spot when you noticed something… familiar.

That side profile.

You would never mistake it for anyone else’s.

Wide-eyed in shock, you almost jumped when the male turned around, dark irises foreign to you. His eyebrow raised slightly as he took in your distress with half-lidded eyes, not even bothering to stop groping the girl.

‘B- Baekhyun?’ You said in such a tiny voice that you barely even heard yourself.

The sound of your book dropping to the floor ripped you out of the stupor, and you turned around. Out of the labyrinth you ran, not even bothering to put your belongings back into your bag neatly. You simply grabbed everything from the table and kept running. The surroundings were blurry, but you could see one thing clearly – his lustful eyes, mocking your naivety.

It hurt too much. Unable to hold your tears till you make it home, you found yourself locked in the stall of the nearest bathroom. The way you cried there was almost physically painful, and you struggled to catch enough air as you did. Nor did you care enough to prevent yourself from making noises. Your whole body was shaking with your sobs, and you weren’t entirely sure you hadn’t gone crazy just then. From seeing what you saw. From reopening the still-hurting wounds and seasoning them richly with salt.

However long it took you to dehydrate yourself with the seeping sorrow, you managed to stop, hiccupping only every now and then. Finally shoving your laptop and notes into your bag, you got out of the stall. Walking up to a mirror on wobbly legs, you gasped at your puffy face and red swollen eyes. Not that you really cared, but it was quite late, so you had good chances of sneaking out and getting home unnoticed.

Unless someone would be purposefully waiting for you to show your face, of course.

You took notice of the dark figure across the hall momentarily after exiting the bathroom. Turning the other way, you increased the pace of your steps, almost breaking into running speed to put some distance between the two of you.

‘Hey,’ a voice called from behind, and you felt a hand grabbing your upper arm to stop you.

The nerve he had.

‘Don’t fucking touch me!’ You barked at him, ripping away from his grasp fiercely.

He blinked, letting go, and you almost hiccupped again at the sight of his hair – even more silvery-white now than when he left you, slightly unkempt (from the prior activities, no less). As he opened his mouth to say something, you beat him to it.

‘Don’t talk to me. Don’t even look at me. You make me sick!’ You spat, wanting to both claw at his beautifully sculpted face and to snivel pathetically again. Instead, you turned around and took off before he gathered himself enough to try initiating a conversation again.

Because… What the fuck was he thinking?

***

You fell ill. It probably wasn’t unrelated to what happened at the library, but you became so feverish that your roommate was on the verge of driving you to the hospital. Three days later your fever finally broke, however, you felt weak and drained and depressed for another week afterwards.

Staying at home, you kept rewinding back to the ‘event’. How could he? Coming back like that, and not even having the decency to not screw around right under your nose. You were repulsed by what you saw, and it was almost hateful how the heaviness in your chest only worsened. The bitterness of the situation added to it – he lied to you, just to be with someone else weeks, or, perhaps, even days, hours after. Maybe all of it was a lie, you didn’t know anymore.

This Baekhyun… You didn’t think you’d ever known him.

The subsequent week you avoided all of the crowded areas of the campus, dreading that you’d have to face him again. It would be impossible to maintain your calm in that case, so you took all of the possible precautions. But what could you have done if he was looking for you?

Upon your following encounter, you failed your attempt to vanish out of his sight the way you did before. It was essentially you walking into a trap, as you headed home rather late after finally squeezing your last important assignment out on paper. Not giving the outside world a single moment of attention, you stopped at the top of the stairs to put your phone into your bag and zip it up.

‘Aren’t you a mystery woman, Y/N,’ the voice almost made you drop your stuff.

You glanced up, taking notice of the murky figure, leaning onto a nearby tree. As he began walking in your direction, you turned on your heels and took off. It felt stupid to run from him like this, but you absolutely did not want to break down in front of him. You wanted to preserve at least some dignity.

As you flew down the stairs, you stumbled and almost dove headfirst to the ground. Thankfully, a swift limb wrapped around you before you could do that.

‘Are you dumb?’ He exclaimed into your ear.

‘Let go of me!’ You writhed in his hold, trying to free your body from the illusive familiarity of his touch.

‘You’re a danger to yourself! What the fuck,’ he swore under his breath, releasing you at once.

‘I told you to leave me alone. Do whatever you want, just stay out of my freaking life, Baekhyun!’ You yelled in his face, fuming from his shameless behavior. Why was he acting like nothing was even wrong with this?

‘Unbelievable. Your twin screws someone over, and you’re the one held accountable,’ he rolled his eyes.

Twin… what?

‘What are you talking about?’ You asked in bewilderment.

‘I believe, introductions are in order. I’m Baëkhyun, nice to meet you.’

***

That was… embarrassing. So embarrassing.

You had no idea there was, well, a live copy of Baekhyun walking around. And even though your ex-boyfriend was secretive, you couldn’t believe he left something like this out. Were you an actual joke to him?!

Baëkhyun said they weren’t particularly close. He explained to you that he hadn’t seen his twin in years, and his friends helped him obtain the little knowledge of his whereabouts that led him here. Thinking he could find Baekhyun by asking around he… got ‘involved’ with a girl or two. Or a dozen, who knows? But, apparently, your reaction the first time you’d met piqued his curiosity. When you flushed at the memory, apologizing profusely, he only said that he found it odd and strangely cute, the way you got upset with him.

‘I’m not as great of a guy as Baekhyun,’ he shrugged. ‘Not that I’m trying to be, anyways.’

You frowned.

After the way he left you, Baekhyun was not at the top of your ‘greatest people of all times’ list either. You could understand why your new acquaintance mentioned this, you had witnessed enough to gather that he was not at all well-behaved. Also, his ways of extracting information… Not very professional, to say the least. But who were you to judge? Now that you’d learned that he wasn’t your ex, you were genuinely ashamed of the hysteria of the past couple of weeks.

But Baëkhyun was different.

When he got your number and promised to text, you didn’t think much of it. You hummed and rolled your eyes – as if that was going to happen. Yet he surprised you by sending a quick message the following week. And then… you just kept talking. Which went on for a while, whilst you’d grown slightly addicted to it. Somehow, Baëkhyun became the only person who could take your mind off of his twin. So, even when you finally went on the long-awaited summer break, you stayed in touch with him. And not only via text – you’d been seeing each other on a regular basis.

Randomly at first – you’d just bump into him somewhere around the university premises, and he’d then suggest grabbing coffee. But as it progressed, you ended up inviting him over for dinner. Partially because you felt acutely lonely with your roommate gone, and partially because… you missed him. It was hard to put a finger on it – you’d initially thought that it was just misplaced longing for Baekhyun that pushed you towards his twin, and it felt so wrong. Almost like you wanted to use him to soothe the ache in your heart that had been bothering you ever since your ex-boyfriend had left.

Yet Baëkhyun seemed so magnetic. He hypnotized you with his blue eyes, which changed from the icy light color to dark, almost black, and were just as sharp as his twin’s. And his sassy smirk – the one he had plastered across his face almost always. Baëkhyun wasn’t warm like Baekhyun, yet there was still something about him that had you walking willingly into his trap. Maybe it was the mysterious glint in his eyes as he looked down at you or the way he sized you up whenever he caught a glimpse of you, like you were his prey. Being alone with him felt both dangerous and exciting, and you kept fooling yourself, basing your blind trust on nothing but his relation to your ex.

You never noticed how quickly he managed to build trust between you. And how you didn’t even know much about him, yet you did tell him a lot. Like that one time, he asked you where you thought Baekhyun was.

‘Wouldn’t I like to know,’ you chuckled, sadness in your voice. ‘He just left. I don’t think he even kept his phone.’

‘I always said he was the dumb one of the two. And to think that he’s the strategist,’ he snorted, splayed on your couch comfortably.

You looked at your hands in your lap, subconsciously calming yourself by playing with your fingers.

‘Stop,’ you shivered as his palm covered your fidgety hands. ‘Stop thinking about him.’

Eyes traveling to his face, you caught a glimpse of the frown that formed there.

And then he kissed you. Out of the blue, giving you no time to think or pull away.

And you let him. Grabbing at the soft leather of his pants, you allowed him to do as he pleased with you. Baëkhyun tasted familiar, though his kissing was anything but – rough and messy, lots of tongue and teeth, making your head spin with flaming passion. You didn’t resist when he pulled you into his lap, or when he ripped your clothes off, item by item. He was not asking and you were not thinking. It didn’t feel like something you should stop at the time. Rather, you thought you would’ve cried had he paused for longer than a second, so you kept clinging to him in response.

The demanding grip he had on your thighs only made you crave it more, lust seeping into your system as you wrapped your arms around his neck and rolled your hips into his. He emitted a deep sound, helping you grind on him.

‘Good girl,’ he gritted into your lips, landing a slap or two on your ass along the way.

As you kept going, your bare breasts grazed his skin, and your panties became soaked and sticky. You were probably flushed rosy red as you chased the tight feeling in your lower abdomen, his eyes hungrily taking in your frenzy. He slapped you again, a sharp hit resonating through you like electricity.

‘Baëk,’ you half-moaned. ‘Please fuck me-’

You couldn’t even believe that you were begging him like that, out loud. But the desperation grew as your body threw itself at him, demanding release.

He moved your panties out of the way, fingers instantly getting wet with your arousal.

‘Such a needy little slut,’ he murmured, making you shiver.

It was all new. The name-calling, the manhandling, the way he bit harshly into your lower lip and tugged at your hair. And somehow, it was exactly what you needed.

He didn’t waste much time to prep you, opting for taking his already hard length out and running the tip between your folds, making you jolt and cry out, nails digging into the back of his neck.

‘Sink on my cock and take what you want. Like a bad girl would.’ He addressed in a low voice, smearing the remainder of your lipstick over your mouth with his thumb. ‘Wanna be a whore for me?’

‘Yes,’ you muttered, and he smacked you on the ass again, emphasizing that you needed to be louder. ‘Yes!’

He let go of your hips, hands resting on your legs, allowing you to slam down on your own. You whimpered at the slight burn but kept going. Moving this fast wasn’t the way you were used to doing it, but all the more exciting for that. Using his shoulders to steady yourself, you worked your hips hard. A sheen of sweat on your chest glimmered as you increased the pace, wailing as his tip nudged at your cervix. He watched you with his dark blue eyes, hands kneading your ass, and filthy mouth guiding you.

‘Squeeze your tight little hole.’

Meanwhile, you struggled to maintain the tiresome pace, yet held onto the sensation of his girth pressing against your walls as he glided in and out of you.

‘Ah fuck, Baëkhyun!’ You moaned, feeling the tickle of perspiration making its way down your abs.

‘I know you’re close.’ He licked his lips seductively. ‘Want me to help?’

‘Yes, yes, please,’ you keened, leg almost cramping from the uncomfortable position.

‘Leave your begging for another time, baby. Like I said, if you want something, you should take it.’

You whined, head spinning at the suggestion. His eyes, expectant, traced the stubborn crease between your brows while you kept rocking your hips. Then, you did the first thing that came to your blurry mind. Your hands reached up to grasp his hair and pull hard, tilting his head back and leaving the long column of his neck exposed for the attack of your lips. Sucking a bruise on it harshly, you then used your teeth to ensure he’d have a bright mark in a few hours. Creeping up his neck and his jaw, you licked at his lower lip, and then into his mouth – like an animal would.

‘Oh,’ he smirked, hands seizing you and holding you down, with him snug inside you. ‘So, my good girl is not as innocent as she seemed?’ He teased, the lustful glint in his eyes boosting your confidence to the level of insolence.

‘Shut up,’ you replied firmly, sliding off of him and flopping backwards to finally get some circulation in your legs. ‘Stop slacking off and make me come, you asshole.’

His eyes flashed at your brazen words. Shoving you roughly until you were flat on your back, he grabbed onto your thighs, dragging you closer to him. Instantly you cried out as he landed two consecutive slaps on your pussy, holding his heavy hard-on at the base. Pleased with your reaction, he did it again, not saying another word before he bottomed out inside you. A new wave of arousal washed over you, and you clenched around him, eyes fluttering shut. He didn’t even think to spare you the morning soreness as he nailed you like an actual whore.

‘Ah right there, right there- oh fuck, Baëkhyun,’ you sobbed, clawing at his flexed arm, when he placed one of your legs over his shoulder and leaned forward, basically stretching you open for himself.

This position made you feel vulnerable, like you had no choice but to take everything he was giving you, but it was what you needed. His every thrust resonated inside, making your muscles clench, and ripping more curses and moans out of you. Even though his pace was rather brutal, there wasn’t too much pain along with it – Baëkhyun knew all the right spots.

Mouth agape, you arched your back in silent agony, and a few more hits of his thighs later came so hard that it almost made you pass out on the spot. The hand over your mouth muffled your scream, and he let your leg slide off of his shoulder, pressing his palm against it to keep you in place and prevent you from closing your knees.

Muscles contracting uncontrollably, you whimpered at his continued thrusts as you became too sensitive from the drawn-out pleasure, tears soaking your lashes by the time he finally pulled out.

Baëkhyun grunted lowly, and you opened your eyes to witness him jerk himself off at the sight of your swollen, fucked out pussy, not even blinking until thick ropes of his semen painted your lower belly.

Despite having just performed a thorough fucking, he lowered himself on his elbow slowly and brushed the rogue strands of hair away out of your eyes.

‘You’re a naughty one. I love it,’ he murmured, positioning one of his hands on your neck as he kissed you deeply. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to be in control.’

And so, you let yourself fall down the rabbit hole. And there was no telling what you’d gotten yourself into.

>> Chapter 3

A/N: Whooo, Baёk is here, stirring some kind of trouble, isn’t he? 🤭 Our poor Y/N-ie is walking on thin ice. What do you think of their relationship? Feels a little bit like cheating, right? Technically it isn’t. But still, the darkness is always pretty seductive...

[reidingandwriting]

Chapter Two- “no body, no crime”

“No body, no crime. I wasn’t letting go until the day he died.”

Word Count: ~2300 words

Warnings: Drinking (legal), missing person, references to death & murder, mentions of an affair, mentions of guns and blood

Characters Mentioned: Neutral!Reader

Minor Original Characters Featured: Este, Lennox, Mark, Bella, Detective Hooper

A/N: I am soooo sorry for how long this chapter took to come out! Between college starting back up and spraining my wrist in a fall, it’s been impossible to write. But here is chapter two!! This chapter is where things really start to happen, and next chapter we’ll see some familiar faces again 😉 Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy the chapter!

Previous chapter

Next chapter

A few days later…

“I hope you don’t mind, but I might be pre-gaming for our dinner tomorrow.” You had said while on the phone with your friend Este the night before. “The last few days have been.. brutal.” You knew she could hear the shakiness in your voice, the remnants of the tears unshed as you tried to keep them at bay. But she didn’t say anything, and that’s why you loved her so much. 

“Be safe and I’ll see you tomorrow. Drink one for me.” You let out a teary laugh and hummed in agreement as you took another sip from your wine glass. “Love you, Y/N.”

“Love you, too. Goodnight.” “Goodnight.”

You rushed into Olive Garden the next day, a jacket over your head in an attempt to shelter yourself from the rain that started the second you parked at the restaurant. The cherry on top of your day. You fixed your hair haphazardly before you looked around the dining room, and you smiled when your eyes landed on your friend, at your usual booth.

“Y/N, welcome back. You know your way to your spot now, I’ll be right there with your usual.” Lennox, a familiar waiter, said as they passed you, a bright smile on their lips.

“What would we do without you, Lennox?” You offered a smile as you walked over to Este.

“I’m a big fan of the rained-on look, Y/N. Not many can rock that like you.” You rolled your eyes as you sat down across from her, and you took in your friend’s appearance. Her eyes were tired, the concealer applied a little heavier under her eyes than usual. Her outfit looked flawless, but her nail polish on her thumb was chipped. Her hair held their curls beautifully, except for the one curl that had been messed with until it was nearly straight- her nervous habit. 

“Oh, you know, nothing like a little rainstorm to spice up my outfit. Who needs to accessorize when you can get rained on?” You paused as your waiter came over with a glass of your favorite wine, and you thanked them before looking at Este. “You look tired.” You swirled your glass of wine before taking a sip, giving her a chance to speak. 

“I hate profilers, you know that?” She sighed but confessed. “It’s Mark. He’s been… off lately. I think he’s cheating on me.” You raised a brow at Este, setting your glass down to speak.

“Why do you think that?”

“He comes home from work late with the taste of cheap merlot on his mouth, and I got the latest bank statement. I don’t know what he got at the jewelers, but it isn’t mine.” She took a sip of her wine before looking at you, her eyes filled with determination. “I think I’m gonna call him out.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have any solid evidence yet, and I don’t want you rushing into something you might regret.” 

“Evidence? You’re making it sound like he committed a crime, Y/N. He may be a cheater, but he isn’t, like, a murderer.” Este drummed her fingers against the table. “And you’re right. I can’t prove it yet.” She paused as our food was set up at our table and didn’t speak again until the waiter walked off. “But I’ll catch him, and that’s a promise.” 

-

You sat at your usual booth, and you took small sips from your glass of water as you scrolled through your phone. You were distracted though, and it was obvious. Your eyes flickered from your phone, back to the dining room, back to your phone. It had been nearly half an hour since you arrived at Olive Garden, and you hadn’t heard from Este. Este had an occasional habit of running late, but she’d always text or call you saying she was on her way. You checked your messages and voicemail once more and frowned when you saw you hadn’t missed anything. You took another sip of your water as you settled back into the booth. I’ll wait another half hour, you decided.

-

Straight to voicemail. “Este. Call me back when you can, please. It’s been an hour, and I haven’t heard from you.”

Straight to voicemail. You dialed another number, panic beginning to rise in you. “Hi, Eleanor. Did Este come into work today? No? Okay, thank you. Bye.”

Straight to voicemail. “I hope you’re okay, but I’m so mad at you for scaring me like this. Let me know you’re okay, please? I’m calling Mark now. Love you.”

#

“The Fairfax City Police are asking for help regarding the disappearance of Este Williams. Mrs. Williams was reported to be seen last by her husband, Mark Williams, when she left due to an emergency call at work Monday evening. A friend of Mrs. Williams was supposed to meet with her on Tuesday evening, but Mrs. Williams never showed, leading to her husband reporting her missing that night. On screen is the most recent picture of Mrs. Williams and if anyone has any leads on her disappearance, please call the number listed below. An investigation has been opened and a local search and rescue will be organized.”

-

You couldn’t remember how long you had been in your car. You didn’t have a destination in mind when you left this morning, but you found yourself driving around Fairfax, around all of Este’s favorite spots. Sal’s Diner, the botanical garden, Wendy’s Coffee Shop. Everywhere you two frequented you had driven past that day, but there was no sign of Este anywhere. A week had passed since she was reported missing, and the local police department’s presence slowly faded into the usual patrols. Two weeks later, the search party had been called in and seemed to grow smaller and smaller with each passing day. Their discouragement was obvious due to the lack of findings regarding Este, whispers spreading through the streets that she had just left for bigger things. But you refused to believe your best friend had uprooted and disappeared without even a text. She had just been accepted into her doctorate program at Georgetown, she was supposed to attend her sister’s wedding. Something was off about this situation, and you spent your free time looking for anything that could result in finding your friend. 

By the end of the night, you found yourself in her neighborhood. You drove past her house, slowing to a stop when you noticed an unfamiliar car in the driveway. You then noticed Mark’s truck beside the car, the usually dirty vehicle now cleaned to where it almost sparkled in the moonlight. You parked off to the side, and you strained to look into the windows of the home. You could see the brief silhouette of Mark standing, and a woman on the couch. The unanswered call and texts flashed through your mind, and you gripped the steering wheel, your knuckles turning white from the harshness of your grip. Deep breath, Y/N, relax. You took a deep breath and relaxed your fingers, turned your car off, and leaned back in your seat. Not your first stakeout, and it won’t be your last. You knew Mark was involved but you just couldn’t prove it. Yet. And when you can prove it, Mark better pray to every god above.

-

Days had passed since you first started watching Mark. Your days started to blend into a cycle: your new glamorous job cleaning houses, a quick trip home to change, then driving to Este and Mark’s house. There were moving trucks the other day, Mark’s mistress moving in. Into Este’s home, where she slept. The garden she grew was torn out and covered up, every sign of Este ever existing was disappearing day by day. Deep down, you knew you couldn’t do anything to Mark. You weren’t in the FBI anymore, you couldn’t touch him. But all rationality had flown out the window when your friend’s disappearance had reached a month. You had spent hours in your car, waiting for the perfect time to find any evidence that would prove what Mark had done. And finally, an opportunity jumped out at you. 

You had a day off work and you found yourself on the front porch of Este and Mark’s house. There was Mark’s truck in the driveway, and as you knocked on the front door, you had to control your emotions. Feelings of rage coursed through your veins, and you shoved your hands into your pockets. Inhale, one two three, exhale. You are calm, cool, and collected. The door swung open and you plastered on a smile when you were greeted by Mark’s face. 

“Mark, hi. How are you? May I come in?” Mark’s confused expression morphed into a nervous expression, but he nodded and stepped aside.

“Please, come in.” Mark smiled at you, but you quickly recognized the fake smile. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting company. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just want to talk.” You walked through the doorway, the weight of your gun tucked into its spot in your waistband, concealed by your jacket. “About Este.” You closed the door and locked it behind you.

-

“Bella?” You asked as Este’s sister answered the phone. “I need a massive favor.”

“Of course, anything. What is it?”

“If anyone asks, I was with you today. We spent the afternoon together. Boating.” A pause.

“Is everything okay, Y/N?”

“I promise I’m okay. Speaking of boating, the Potomac River is gorgeous this time of year. We should go soon. This weekend?” 

“Sounds perfect. I’ll bring drinks, you sound like you could use a few.”

“Trust me, B. This is the best I’ve felt in a long time.”

-

A knock on the door interrupted you from your reading, and you walked to the door. You opened the door to reveal a police officer standing on your front step. 

“May I help you, Officer?”

“Detective Hooper. May I come in?” Detective Hooper flashed his badge and you nodded, letting him in.

“Please, come in. Help yourself to a seat, can I offer you a drink?” You asked as you led him to the living room, where you sat on the couch. The detective took a seat on the opposite end, and you sat up straight, attentive.

“That won’t be necessary. Y/N Y/L/N, I was the detective assigned to the case of your friend, Este Williams. As you are likely aware, there’s been no new developments in her disappearance case. Until today.” Look shocked,  you don’t know this. You looked at Detective Hooper with furrowed brows. “What was a disappearance case has now evolved into a murder case, and I believe Mrs. Williams was the first victim, Mr. Williams being the second.”

“What?” You let your head fall back against the couch and screwed your eyes shut. “She’s really- they’re really? They’re dead?”

“We still have yet to find Mrs. Williams, but we received a call that led to us recovering Mark Williams’s body in the Potomac River.” Detective Hooper looked at you with what you believed to be sympathy. The best he could show it with his job, at least. Okay, a little more sad. Your bottom lip trembled as you rubbed your eyes, taking a shaky breath. 

“What are you going to do? To find my friend? And to get justice for her husband?”

“That’s what I’m here for. We have no leads in this case, and you’re the closest person to the Williams, except for Mrs. Williams’s sister. I have a couple of questions if that’s okay?”

“It’s okay.” You sat up. “Anything to help.” You answered a few questions about how you knew the Williams, emphasis on your background with Este, and questions that delved deep into the relationship of Mark and Este. Did they have any problems? Who were their friends? Their enemies? Then the questions turned to you. What had you done the day Mr. Williams was murdered?

“Well, I’d usually have work. Cleaning houses.” You thought back to earlier, where you washed the blood splatter off your face, then cleaned your car to perfection. “But I had a day off. So I went to the docks and got my boat, it was a beautiful day on the Potomac.”

“You have a boating license?”

“My dad made me get one when I was fifteen.” You smiled. “Birthday present.”

“Were you alone?” He asked and leveled you with a look, in an attempt to see if you’d crack. 

“Este’s sister was with me.” You didn’t hesitate. “Ever since Este’s disappearance, I’ve been spending more time with her than I did before.” You admitted. Detective Hooper studied your face for a minute before he sighed.

“Thank you for answering all my questions. If you can think of anything else that could help us solve this case, please give me a call.” He handed you his card and you took it, and you tucked it into your pocket. “I’ll get out of your hair now. Thank you again for your time.” You and the detective stood and you walked with him to the door. As he let himself out, you paused to speak. 

“Detective?” He turned around to face you again. “I don’t know if this is any help, but I’d check into Mark’s mistress.”

-

“An arrest has been made in the disappearance of Este Williams and the murder of Mark Williams of Fairfax, Virginia. Mrs. Williams has yet to be found, but Mr. Williams was found to be murdered. Investigations are still underway and if there are any clues on the location of Mrs. Williams, please call the number below to be directed to our hotline.”

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[voiceswithoutlips]

Fallen - Chapter One

— pairing: OT7 x Reader (F) — genre: Fantasy AU, Vampire AU, Soulmate AU, Fluff, Eventual Smut, ANGST , Poly!BTS — word count: 2.8k — Rating: M — warnings: minor character death, slight gore — beta: Thank you so much @taegularities​ and @unoriginal-username15432​ for all you feedback <3

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— chapter summary:  

The people you killed, they haunted your dreams. They would say to you, “What you do always comes back to you, there is no escape from this miserable life.” It was true, there was no escape. In your world there was only darkness, sorrow, fear, hate and death, always death.

— A/N: It is I, your idiotic author. Welcome to my blog <3

Ch. 2

The sound of rain was like a roaring beast. It was almost midnight and the roads were lonely. You stood there in an alley facing a madman, uh, mad-vampire. His eyes were glowing red; he was wearing a dirty grey cloak on his rag like cloth. His brown hair had gotten messy when he’d run away from you but there he was, still as a dead body, waiting for you to attack. There were thick walls on both sides of the alley and behind him was a dead end. He was trapped.

“Lockham, why don’t you come back with me? That way I won’t have to kill you,” you suggested to the psycho killer vampire who stood a mere ten feet away from you. There was no way for him to run so maybe he would attack. You weighed your options - fight? That would’ve been nice; at least your body would’ve gotten some exercise.

He laughed. “You think you can win? Destiny is waiting for you Hunter,” he said in an impressive voice. Another one of those ‘destiny’ believers. Apparently the Goddess had a plan for us all, not that you had much faith in it. Gods don't care about who kills whom or who eats what, they’re more concerned about their own entertainment. You’d never put much faith in any higher power, God or not, nobody gave a shit.

“You’ve killed people Lockham, you’ve been a very naughty vampire and now it’s time for your punishment,”you said as a teacher would say to a naughty kid. He took a step back.

“Who are you to punish me?” he mocked, showing you his blood covered teeth. He was just having a meal when you found him and then you two had a nice chase. You were glad that he ran, you wanted to stretch out your legs anyway.

“Exactly, I’m no one,” you said and took a step forward; he took a step back simultaneously and vanished. What? Vanished? How? You walked forward to investigate and sighed. How careless of you. There was a hole, he fell into the sewer. He must have used cloaking so that it would look like he vanished. The only thing he forgot was to close the hole. You shook your head,  you hated wet places! You jumped down and landed lightly on your feet, without making a sound, perfect.

You were getting bored of chasing him, it was almost dawn and you needed your beauty sleep. You took a deep breath and pulled out your silver dagger. It was your favorite weapon. Silver was deadly to vampires. It was very pretty with a finely carved snake on the handle with emeralds where the eyes should be; a gift from someone you had known a long time ago.  You closed your eyes and let your mind wander through the tunnels. Just like your immunity to silver, your telepathy was stronger than centuries old vampires and you could perform magic. You were a half-witch after all.

You found him running through the tunnels. As soon as your mind touched him, he froze. You were inside his mind now. Reading someone’s mind was nothing like watching a movie or reading a book. It was like waking up from a dream, you don’t remember what you saw or heard but the thing that you remember is the feeling, the essence of the dream. Every being has a certain essence, unique to them. Like walls that you can’t see or touch, but you know they’re there. You could clearly see the tunnel before you, but it was like a distant memory, you were no longer there.

You were in a room, an old room with cobwebs and dust. It smelled of something rotten, like a thousand dead rats. There were worn out clothes hanging from the ceiling - correction, there was no ceiling, just clothes hanging midair and swaying with the wind, except there was no wind. At one corner sat two rusty iron chairs. The window with broken glass showed a full moon. 

There was an old cupboard on the wall with the yellow wallpaper. It was white as if someone had carved it from bone. There were noises coming from the cupboard, screeching, screaming, the cry of a baby, the soothing voice of a mother, someone’s last words. A shudder ran through your body. I will never ever do this again, you promised yourself. 

You heard a creak from behind and you swiftly turned back. There he was, sitting in a corner, the little boy. He held a tattered grey cloak in his hands. His body was folded at impossible angles. He was white as a sheet, there was no blood in his body. He was thin with brittle bones. Dull brown eyes in a sunken face held unimaginable terror. 

He looked up at you. “I’m tired, I want to sleep,” he whispered and quickly stole a glance at the cupboard.

“Then why don’t you sleep?” you whispered back, clearly not wanting to wake anything in there. Yeah, getting into someone’s mind was a nice thing, you could get full control over them... but there was a catch. If something went wrong in that mind or if you failed to escape in time, then you’d be trapped there forever, or die. You were pretty sure that you didn’t want to be trapped in this mind, not here.

“They don’t let me sleep, they keep me awake so that I could bring more and more food for them,” he replied, pointing a finger at the cupboard. Slowly, you understood what he was saying. ‘One without a soul feeds on other’s souls,’ the thought crossed your mind, not a good one.

“What if you don’t bring them food?” You already knew the answer but you asked anyway, maybe just to confirm it.

“I’ll go mad,” he whispered back with horrified eyes.

“Come to me, I’ll help you sleep.” The words left your lips, the real ones which were still attached to your face. Lockham turned back and slowly walked towards you. You could hear his heavy footsteps in the tunnel.  At last he took the last turn and there he stood right in front of you. His eyes were blank. It was like there was no soul in his body, no life. You had him entirely under your control. If you told him to do ballet, he would dance like a professional, but you weren't a sadist. Life had already tortured him enough. 

“Come forward,” you said softly, the sooner it ended the better. He walked forward and your silver dagger slashed through his throat, severing his spine, killing him in a second. Blood splashed and soaked his body. It was a merciful death, you had seen worse. There are worse things than death in this world. Death was just an easy escape.

You stood there for a moment, looking at him, wishing that the outcome would’ve been different. Were you feeling sorry for him? No, you were feeling sorry for yourself. You were a fifty year old vampire and in all your years as a hunter you’d killed hundreds of criminals, but you had never been able to save one. 

People knew and people talked. Some said that you were cursed; you were the representative of death, the spawn of darkness. As a result, the council only gave you high profile cases, criminals that were too far gone to be saved. It was always death. The people you killed, they haunted your dreams. They would say to you, “What you do always comes back to you, there is no escape from this miserable life.” It was true, there was no escape. In your world there was only darkness, sorrow, fear, hate and death, always death.

You pulled out your cell phone and called the police. They would take care of the body. You bent down to leave a tracker near it, so they would find it easily. Lockham’s eyes were wide open, and you closed them. “At least one of us is at peace,” you whispered. 

“You’re home!!” little Lilly exclaimed happily as you walked through the door. Your  family was sitting in the dining room, having supper. You were the firstborn, the eldest of your father’s children. Your father was the Duke of Serafino, the City of Snake; one of the two warrior cities in the Vampire Kingdom. He was a nice man with brown eyes and hair, fair complexion, nicely built but a little short. 

Your stepmother was a beauty; she had blue eyes, fair complexion, sharp features and hair spun like gold. Her children took after her, all cream and gold. They all hated you, except for the little one, Lilly.

“Yay, I’m home,” you said sarcastically. It was hard not to be nice to the little girl who looked at you with wonder in her eyes; she was so full of life. To no one’s wonder you had blood on your clothes and your darling step mother eyed it with a look in her eyes that said filthy. For you, it was like an invitation. You were planning to have supper in your room just like any other day, but you sat down at the end of the table. Your father was seated at his normal seat which belonged to the head of the family. The chair right across from him was the place for his wife, but that was your mother’s place and now it belonged to you. 

Your mother had died in childbirth, you had her amber eyes and olive skin. Her name was Katina. People told you that she’d been a beauty; you had some of her pictures and sometimes you would feel her close beside you. It was a weird feeling, but not bad, not at all. You weren't a person who put her feelings on display, heck you hadn’t even cried in like twenty years! The only permanent feeling you had left was emptiness. You felt numb, like a shell, nothing inside, no love, no hope, not even sorrow after all these years. It felt like you were dead and it was true, your heart was dead.

“I would like some blood sausages Charles and don’t forget the wine,” you said cheerfully to the butler. He was a nice guy, always talked politely. You suspected that he was in love with the cook, Ms. Glen; it would be nice to have some love in this house which felt like living in a coffin.

“How was your day, Y/N?” Lilly asked, her cheerful eyes trained on you. You wondered for how long this child would be allowed to keep her innocence? When you’d been her age ...you shied away from that thought. Thoughts bring back memories and your memories were like old corpses, one would never want to dig them. Instead you took a bite of your sausage - man, they were delicious.

“It was almost nice, Bunny. I played who-can-catch-me with a friend and I won!!” Bunny was the nickname you had given her because she was never still. Everyone paused for a moment; it was really weird and funny at the same moment. You loved how all the eyes drifted to you and back to Lilly. She was beaming because you had won the game. You gave her a small smile.

“Oh that’s wonderful!! Where is your friend now?” Curious little kid, everyone paused again, including you this time.

“You see, we were playing on a bet. He lost the bet so he had to …go to another city.” You were very good at lying, but her beaming eyes and pure innocence made it hard. It was impossible to lie to that child.

“When would he come back?” she asked, and you sighed. Your plate was half empty and the looks everyone were giving you just killed the hunger inside. You stood up with the wine glass in my hand.

“Chew your food, Bunny,” you replied and left the room.

Your room was a mixture of blue and gold. The wallpapers were straight lines of different shades of blue. The furniture was of mahogany wood with fine carvings. The round rug was golden on the edge and blue in the middle, it looked like a pool of water. All the linen was blue and gold as well. Your bed was round and big with golden bedposts and curtains. You had a balcony of your own with a little fountain with a sculpture of a mother and her child. You had spent a lot of time taking care of the blue roses in your garden. 

The front wall was covered with your music collection. You found peace in music, it was the only time when you could just forget everything and float. You quickly changed and crawled under the sheets, picking up the remote from the side table and pressing the play button. It was Mozart’s duo. What an amazing symphony! It helped you drift back to your happy memories.

Unlike your half brothers and sisters, you were raised in Tiria. It was a small town on the edge of Serafino. You were raised by the Countess of Tiria, a very kind woman. She had grace, beauty, and wealth but no children. She showered you with love and pretty gifts. You had excellent teachers for your education. You learned everything from crochet to fencing. 

The manor there was old and beautiful. It had a beautiful garden and a whole forest around it. You would often go into the forest, just to explore it. Those were the happiest days of your life. Until your tenth birthday - the day the Countess died.

Just like the symphony, your thoughts turned darker. You’d been happy that day; the maids had told you that you were going to have a big birthday party. The Earl had been there for two weeks now. Your innocent mind had thought that he was there for your birthday. That morning you were out in the gardens, picking up some red roses for the Countess, it was something you did every day. You would just run into her room to put them on her side table, she loved that. You held the bunch of roses in your tiny hands, running through the house to her room. You were wearing a very pretty white dress with laces and pink ribbons. Your bare feet softly met the stone floor as you ran to her room and pushed the door, happily calling to her.

The Countess was there, lying on the floor in a pool of blood. There were bruises on her body and a sword, stabbed right through her heart. The handle of the sword was in the hands of the Earl. He twisted the blade with a cruel smile in his eyes. Then you screamed. The flowers falling from your hands, red roses into red blood - they were the same color. Your pretty white dress was now red. You backed away still screaming, leaving little red footprints on the floor. The maids came running to you and held you tight as you screamed and screamed. You don’t remember for how long you were screaming or what happened later.

You drifted off to sleep. 

It was a beautiful forest. The trees were so thick that sunlight barely touched the ground and everything was covered in moss. You were standing there in front of a giant wolf. It wasn’t a werewolf, it smelled like a  regular  one but just giant, like a direwolf. It was growling at you, baring his teeth. You had no weapons with you, you double checked. You looked around for an escape, you could kill him with your teeth but they weren’t as sharp as they’d used to be. You looked at your nails, they were fragile. Heck! You were human!!

“Y/N, wake up!!” the wolf suddenly spoke in a girly voice. It didn’t make sense, really.

“Are you a girl?” you asked the wolf who was ready to kill you. Talking to an animal, guess you had finally lost your sanity.

“Y/N!!” Someone was shaking you, trying to wake you up without much success. Then you realized you were sleeping under a bunch of blankets and pillows. It was three in the morning; you could tell by the smell of the air. You peeked at the person who had dared to disturbed you. It was Lily.

“What is it, Bunny?” you asked sleepily. It was good she had practice understanding you while you sleep talked, if it was anyone else, they would’ve thought you were talking gibberish.

“I had a bad dream,” she said with a puppy face. You knew what she wanted; she wanted to sleep with you. 

“Me too,” you replied and ran your tongue over your teeth, yup, still vampire. “Come here you,” you said, grabbing her and stuffing her under the pile of blankets and pillows. You loved a warm cozy place to sleep. You held her like a teddy bear and dozed off again. She was so soft in your arms and she held tight onto you. Protecting someone was a good feeling. You went back to sleep as if  you had never woken up.

NEXT

[thewritingstar]

From looking at your profile it seems your a huge gruvia fans but my question is what draws you to it, is it the development their appearance or just the looks and gags from both gray and juvia,

Any chance I get to talk about Gruvia, I will :) 

This isn't spoiler free btw 

Gruvia is prob one of my fav ships and it was the first ship I wrote for so it has a special place in my heart. There are many aspects that drew me to it and although I love their dynamic and the comedy that surrounds them, I look at it on the more serious side. 

For starters, Juvia is my fav character so I was drawn to their ship anyways (plus they both hot af) 

The rooftop scene is really the beginning because Juvia who is known to be a ruthless and strong wizard and doesn’t really have any friends or any family to support her emotionally was ready to die. She was content with herself falling off of the roof and she didn’t think that he would save her because she was the enemy. She had never experienced kindness or an act of selflessness before so I think it took her by surprise. 

During their battle, Gray made a comment on the rain and it upset her but when he saved her, the rain went away and she had never seen a clear sky before. 

Their development of two broken people having this unspoken trust is something I really like. Not to mention that Juvia was the only one to back him up when ever he went undercover (both times) and didn't judge him. She had always been a ride or die for Gray if you think about it. Even Natsu turned on him quickly. 

I think I love them because of the growth they gave each other. Gray taught Juvia how to laugh and smile and want to live while Juvia taught Gray that no matter how alone he feels, she will always be there for him and you don't have to be afraid to love. 

Another reason is the way they are drawn to each other. For Juvia, she has never really had anyone to loose so I think the reason she's so over the top Is because these emotions are brand new and she doesn't know what to do with them except for feel. 

As for Gray, he is afraid to lose people he loves dearly (his parents and his master) which is why he admits to never giving Juvia an answer. 

I know a lot of people don't think they are a good pair, and that's fine of course. But he cares about Juvia but I think he is scared that the moment he decides to let himself love freely, she's going to be taken from him. He did watch her die once 

People like to say that Juvia doesn't respect Gray but that's far from the truth. If Gray honestly didn’t like her, he wouldn't be around her and could yell at her and cut her off. I mean she apologized because she believed she was the cause of his fathers death but he wouldn't allow her to feel that way. 

I just love them because Gray is opening up and learning to love slowly while Juvia is excited to have someone she can genuinely connect with. They protect each other and I think (could be wrong) they have the most unison raids together and its even admitted that they've gone on dates together. Also Gray shows Juvia a whole bunch of new and fun things that she never got to do in her other guild. 

They have a level of trust with each other. Their development is more about them as individuals growing and learning together. Plus if you think about it, they were enemies, to friends to lovers which is iconic. 

the jokes and gags around them are great too and I love that they can have comedic side as well. Plus Juvia taking on his stripping habit is hella funny. 

I think overall they have a great story and I love all the moments they have. 

:) 

[herstarburststories]

illicit love

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Summary: Jensen loves you, but sometimes love isn’t the right thing.

A/N: Hey, guys! All we needed was a newish fic to say that I was really back, here it is! This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr 6k challenge. So glad you got to another millestone, honey. It's like I was posting my part for your 5k celebration just yesterday! xD Prompt in bold.

Warnings: age gap, cheating

Jensen Ackles kept squinting through the bricks of his memory in an attempt to recall where it all began. Maybe it was when he drove off the road he had known for years with the dumbfounded desire to take the trails yet traveled, threading his fingers through your hair on the night of September 7th. He could’ve chosen the easy out and say it all started to crumble with the first kiss, but no. The actor, father, and now horrible husband highly doubted that. No, as he unwound the convoluted wires in his mind, it wasn’t the first clandestine meeting that he saw as the beginning, not the first kiss or the primal stolen glances. It wasn’t even the lies or the way he pushed his body against yours in an act of illicit faith.

Like any grand mistake, it was way before that. Just like how the church not-so-gently advised, it all starts with craving something you never thought you would want.

It happened when he landed the job in a new series after leaving a fifteen-year-long rollercoaster, pushing away any real witness to the fact the old show that swallowed part of his soul was over. There was a certain shock of excitement misplaced by the fact he was going to be working with Eric again, and that the show was an abrupt change considering what he had been doing previously. Now, he believed it was his body’s particular way of telling him that — as the savage animals can sense rain or a calamity — this, baby, this is gonna change your life.

JENSEN ACKLES CAST AS SOLDIER BOY!

‘’Since when have you read comics?’’ Jensen arched his messy eyebrows at Dee’s curiosity about the Homelander and Soldier Boy panel making it to the screen. Shaking the comic book in his right hand slightly, he continued: ‘’Especially that kind.’’

‘’Never,’’ Danneel stated plainly, “but I have Google. It was pretty much the first thing that appeared.’’

‘’Well, Eric said that scene won't be on the screen. Besides, the portrayal won't be that Soldier Boy, but the original one who died in the war. ‘Course, he wouldn’t have died there in our show, but it ain’t the panel one.’’ He shrugged, bringing her closer to his side as she snuggled against him. ‘’There’ll be a bunch of Herogasm, which is basically drugs and sex. Just not with Homelander.’’

Danneel nodded at his explanation, humor clinging to her words as she added: ‘’Guess the only man I have to share you with is still Jared.’’

‘’Hey, you knew what you were getting yourself into.’’ Jensen scoffed playfully before kissing her cheek. ‘’Can't wait to start the show.’’

Jensen leaned forward to rest the comic that he had been religiously studying to form a psychological character profile on the dashboard of the Impala. The actor was spending plenty of hours inside his most palpable Supernatural souvenir -- Baby. His safe place. He sure as hell needed one of those, as molding a whole character that has a bunch of source material wasn’t as easy as he pictured. With Dean, he was putting himself and the script in one until it made his imaginary best friend. It was love at the first sight. Soldier Boy, however, was a long story short. Jensen figured he should do both, honor the character created and add his own special ingredients to it. It was a brand new kind of passion that he hadn’t done for a series in the longest time. Still, his glance trailed back to the woman by his side in the backseat.

‘’Let's hope it won't last another decade,” she mocked.

Jensen shook his head with a chuckle, relaxing against the leather seat. Even the mere smell of the Impala was enough to settle his nerves. ‘’Eric has plans for five seasons.’’

Danneel’s features contorted as if having war flashbacks. Sort of. She never imagined Supernatural would make it that far, and now with three kids, signing on for another excessively time-consuming idea for a new show didn’t seem too appealing either. Yet, she would support Jensen in any decision he’d take regarding his job. “Remind me the last time I heard that line before?” 

‘’Come on.’’ He let out a wry huff, poking her side in a playful manner. She couldn't help but laugh, returning the gesture with tickles to start a very light-hearted battle. He seemed happy with the new job, something Danneel truly thought he would have more difficulty with. She’d pushed her weathered worries away with his easy-going laughter for now.

SOLDIER BOY’S LOVE INTEREST?

Eric Kripke threw the gossip magazine on the table, his eyes not straying from his long-time friend’s. He could’ve simply added the digital article to an irate email and be done with it, but he was a simple man with extravagant taste. That had been usual through his whole career, especially regarding the Supernatural aesthetic. Yet, in those mundane situations, Jensen almost found it too much. That wasn’t the case, though. If anything, the plain, yet still overpowering words that his green eyes scanned made his body sweat. He could even hear his organs working from the absolute silence of the blame that covered the room. Kripke’s room had never seemed more like an interrogation chamber than now.

The magazine in question held Jensen and your picture on the cover, his arms wrapped around your torso as he pulled you close. The most sequin smile hung from your lips like happiness was something that could be touched on that sunny day in the private park near the studio. Giant and garish letters made the headline along with the subline: Jensen Ackles wearing his Soldier Boy costume caught sharing a passionate kiss with the new arrival of The Boy’s Team: Y/N Y/L/N, also known on-screen as Cangaceira!

His voice came out as an accusation: ‘’What’s this, Jensen?’’

‘’We were…’’ The director just waved his hand to interrupt.

‘’Don’t try saying you were practicing a scene because I wrote the Soldier Boy and Cangaceira kiss, and it wasn’t here.’’ Acid tainted his words with no space for fake niceties on his set. Jensen remained in the chair, not even daring to make the most subtle move. Eric knew where he was hitting, and Ackles deserved a punch in the jaw. “The sex scene wasn’t here either, but you two added a lot of erotic subtext. Trust me, I know.’’

His shoulders fell in exhaustion. ‘’Eric…’’

‘’You’re lucky we were going to make those two a couple anyway. I can just put the kiss here and save your ass. What if that wasn’t the case, huh?’’ the director continued, more interested in spilling out his anger than listening to dumb excuses. ‘’What about Danneel, Jensen? You have a wife and kids, for God’s sake!’’

The breaking point. Jensen rose to his feet with sudden frustration, a growl leaving his lips as he pushed the chair to the side with uncharacteristic brutality. How could Eric bring up his family like this? And how could Jensen’s heart not bring them up when he kissed you before?  It was all a fucking mess, and he had no choice but to choke down whatever came out of it, even if it was poison and spite.

‘’Fuck, Eric! Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think it doesn’t pull me apart every time I go home and know I’m lying to the people who love me?’’ The vein on his neck popped as he spoke, emotion gushing thicker through his arteries than blood. Woe remerged under his skin as he swallowed dryly, resting his hands on the table and looking down. That wasn’t him. He had done a lot of things that weren't him lately. ‘’I have enough guilt here, pal.’’

Eric just glared down at the man’s outburst, furrowing before asking, ‘’What’s going on, Jay? You don’t just get up and cheat on your wife. That ain’t you.’’

He shook his head. ‘’I don’t know. Y/N’s just…’’

‘’At least 20 years younger than you,” he stated. ‘’Just starting her career and might be getting the homewrecker title if someone finds out.’’

‘’I won’t let that happen.’’

‘’How? You are gonna be more careful or will you cut it out and go back to your wife and three kids?’’ When Ackles didn’t respond, Eric sighed. ‘’Just stop this, Jensen. Let her go.’’

Jensen scoffed humorlessly. ‘’I can’t.’’

Kripke felt like talking to a teenager. He shook his head as he got up. ‘’Do you have any idea what you’re doing here? This could destroy your family, destroy Y/N’s chance to make a name when you already have your own. That’s selfish in all proportions, Jensen!’’

‘’I know, I know.’’

‘’She deserves more than this and —’’

‘’I know.’’

‘’You are gonna mess up everyone’s lives —’’

‘’I know!’’ He slammed the table and winced, turning around with his hands on his head. If only he could stop his thoughts for a second and reorganize his feelings. ‘’Do you think it doesn’t rip my heart out that I can’t love her?’’

‘’Who?’’ The burning question was ready to set everything ablaze. ‘’You can’t love Y/N, or you can’t love your wife anymore, Jensen?’’

He couldn’t love you in public. He couldn’t love Danneel anywhere. Love just escaped through his reaches when you spoke his name like a prayer, and it was time to accept that.

‘’Both.’’

NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS: SOLDIER BOY AND CANGACEIRA TALK ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THEIR RELATIONSHIP

‘’It's amazing to portray with Jensen. I’ve watched Supernatural since I was like twelve, which probably isn't advisable.’’ You chortled, answering the reporter’s question. Your body could barely contain your excitement under your skin, although, why would you want that? You did it. You got the job you had dreamed and worked hard for. To a bonus, you were working with Jensen Ackles! If there was someone that had earned the right to scream to the sky until your face was the color of the red carpet your heels currently stood on, it was you. ‘‘I was even a Samgirl!’’

Jensen faked a gasp next to you, a light spectrum surrounding the interview. ‘’Really? Me too!’’

You pushed his shoulder playfully while he chuckled. ‘’Anyway, I'm very excited to be here and portray a strong latina superhero. The representation’s very important, and to be able not only to cherish it, but to be a part of it doing what I love and inspiring people like me is… mythical.’’

‘’Wow, woman!’’ Ackles pursed his lips, clapping a little before shifting his gaze from you to the reporter. ‘’She likes the big words. I swear, dude. She’ll just come and in like, a casual conversation, say something like gelid or whilst, and then she's gonna say dumbass. Both sound smart as heck.’’

You winked. ''It's the accent. Makes everything sound nice.”’

Jensen nodded but was quick to sprinkle in an incendiary remark to his compliments. ‘’Yeah, I have never seen someone confuse coach and couch before. Go sit on the coach got a lot of wrong ideas.’’

‘’Hey, you sat on the coach!’’

‘’Because I’m a good boy.’’

You rolled your eyes despite the grin on your lips. ‘’Sure, mister hours-to-get-ready.’’

‘’Hey, plenty of face masks are needed to keep this — ’’ He pointed at his face. ‘’at fourteen.’’

‘’All I hear is that you’re old.’’ Your eyebrows knitted together. Jensen licked his lips at the sight. On any other day, he’d pick you up, say I’m gonna show you who’s old, and enjoy where your teasing had gotten you two, but he couldn’t do it now. You’d get what was coming to you after the event, perhaps even under the table if your dress allowed it, or in the bathroom, if you kept going.

The mischievous smirk on your cherry-stained lips proved that you knew what was going through his mind. God, you were his sweet death. Nonetheless, Jensen sighed dramatically and looked at the camera. ‘’This is what I have to deal with every day.’’

The reporter went on, happily surprised about how comfortable you and Jensen seemed together. Usually, new coworkers were timider around each other during interviews, especially when they were a romantic pair. The journalist decided to try getting a little sneak peek of the couple aspects of Soldier Boy and Cangaceira.

‘’It's definitely interesting.’’

‘’But not in the best way.’’ The only thing more messed up than Jensen’s relationship with you was the correlation between your characters. At least you and he had the purity of love, even if it was twisted enough to turn heads and churn stomachs

‘’Certainly not in the best way.’’ You agreed, bringing him back into reality as always. ‘’It's really nice to explore a couple that doesn't consist of two white people getting to it like most main characters of the shows in our current climate. It’s not the kind of relationship you should be rooting for — not because it's interracial or anything, that's pretty much the biggest, if not only, positive aspect about those two — but because they aren’t healthy at all, just as all main relationships in our show. It's not a romance series, and we certainly don't treat our couples like it.’’

‘’Told you she is the beauty and the brains.’’ His cheeks dimpled with joy and pride as he looked at you. Jensen knew how excitedly nervous you were about that interview. He couldn’t wait to tell you how great you were like you were born to sell dreams and magazines. ‘’But yeah, it’s a messed up relationship like any other in The Boys. After all, it's not a respectful, wholesome show. It's about gritty superheroes that ain’t got heroism. Soldier Boy isn't a good guy, and it translates in his relationship too.’’

You nodded in agreement, brushing his arm to keep you sane. ‘’It’ll be an interesting dynamic to see on-screen to our show standards, but it's not an actual picture of how a relationship should be.’’

THE BOYS 100TH EPISODE PARTY!

The glimmer of his green comet eyes caught your undivided attention in the throngs of people. The crowd had gathered for his family, his arm around his wife's waist as you both shared a tender, stolen look. You savored her wine and yearned for the man in her arms.

It was just a small celebration due to COVID’s lasting effects on public events. People from the set and their significants together were in the Ackles house for a couple of drinks, small talk, and a cake with The Boy’s comics printed on it.

‘’Aunt Y/N!’’ JJ tugged your dress, her mix of Danneel and Jensen’s features almost haunting your soul. Almost. You would never despise a kid for that — you didn’t even have the right to. If anything, JJ was the one that would graduate to hating you someday. You didn't have enough youthful stupidity not to know the risks of being in love with a married man. ‘’Auntie!’’

You leaned in the most that you could with the red skirt, glancing at the child. ‘’Yes, honey?’’

‘’That’s my new Barbie! I bought a beach one! She looks like you!’’ the blonde kid said with a childish joy that ached in your heart. You could end up destroying her family’s stability if Jensen went any further, yet there she was; buying dolls that looked like you and so happily babbling about it.

You were a monster. Love opened you up and planted greedy seeds, and now you were a monster growing like a beautiful tree that could never be strong enough to hold a kid as they climbed up. The fact that you could sense Jensen’s eyes on your ass didn’t help one bit.

‘’She does! That’s so cute, JJ.’’

‘’You can be her. I have one who looks like mommy, I’ll be her, ‘kay?’’

Your nausea was replaced by a pageant smile and a nod, and so you spent the night sharing longing stares with the dad and playing dolls with the daughter. It was a role that was never yours.

ILLICIT AFFAIR? JENSEN ACKLES SEEN ON THE BEACH WITH Y/N Y/L/N

‘’I can’t believe you did this to me, to our family,‘’ Danneel screamed exasperatedly as she threw her clothes in a bag and heart on the wall. Jensen just stood there, accepting the deserved fury. ‘’Ten years of my life, Jensen, and you just threw it away for a mistress! I gave up on my job to be a stay at home mom because you didn’t want a babysitter. I supported you in every moment. I loved you!’’

‘’I’m sorry…’’

‘’You don’t get to be sorry,” she howled, glaring at him with the hatred of an overthrown nation. She felt like he got to the podium and forgot to say her name. ‘’You let that woman get in my house, drink my wine, talk to my children…’’

Reflexively, he said, ‘’Our.’’

‘’Shut the fuck up! There’s no ours anymore, no us!’’ Her words had garnered a learned violence, much louder than the sound of the zipper closing her duffel bag. She threw the CC exclusive on the floor, holding onto the handle for dear life. He didn’t deserve to see her breaking, only her anger. ‘’You destroyed our family, you destroyed me!’’

He pleaded, unable to discern if it was for her or the guilt: ‘’Dee.’’

‘’I hope you’re happy. I hope you go to her, get her to sleep on our bed, and be happy for a month.’’ She gulped, pursing her lips. Her glossy eyes coupled with the pink hue of her lipstick brought back a treacherous memory of their wedding day. ‘’And then, I hope she cheats, like you did to me.’’

The next headline didn’t call it love.

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[alderaani]

Embers

summary: After Umbara, Boil learns how to endure, and how to reclaim pieces of his brothers marching on | AO3 | series

warnings: canonical character death, grief, animal injury + mentions of animal death (completely not explicit, on the level of canon-typical violence).

a/n: finally another part of my 100 clone prompts - the rest of the series is linked above! i know there’s not much in canon to support Waxer being an animal lover, but i wanted to give Gree a friend to nerd out with and it’s cute. also gotta pay homage to @nibeul’s wonderful art here - while I wasn’t consciously inspired by it, it hits on v similar themes and is just beautiful like...that image of waxer holding up numa lives in my head rent free.

-

Insects swirled in a halo around his helmet. They swarmed around the seams of his blacks, too, attracted to the small beads of sweat there, to the tiny strips of flesh he couldn’t quite cover. The rising bites itched, rubbing where the edge of his vambraces met fabric, and the buzzing was enough to drive a man mad. Boil sighed, brushing them off half-heartedly and watching them billow angrily away. They’d be back. They always were.

In the reprieve, he fumbled at his belt for the viewfinders hooked there and brought them to his visor. As he spun the dial to within half a klik so that he could search the undergrowth, his thumb settled in the comforting groove where Waxer had dropped them and chipped the plastoid. He worried at it with his nail while he scanned, frowning.

It was too still.

Too quiet.

Had been in his head for weeks now, verging on a month, and he was still waiting to feel something other than crippling emptiness. There weren’t any dreams any more, none except for the oldest one they all pretended not to have; levelling a blaster against Kenobi’s head and pulling the trigger. Even that didn’t feel like the nightmare it used to.

Eventually he lowered the viewfinder, feeling the hair stand up on the back of his neck at the stifled sound of his own breath in the dense air. A faint, humid breeze stirred the leaves, sending a cloud of thick yellow pollen up towards the canopy. Boil blinked to bring up the filter diagnostic on his HUD, keeping his belly low to the ground to avoid the stuff as it drifted lazily overhead.

“Kid, you doin’ alright out there?”

He listened to the static hum of the comm line for a few moments, biting back the panic that crawled up the back of his throat when it dragged on just a beat too long.

“Apart from gettin’ gnawed on by the bugs? Just grand, Sir.”

Potshot sounded a little winded, but that was probably just the heat. Blacks self-regulated temperature, but only to the extent that they made sure you sweated evenly. It never used to be quite so bad; that had been the one thing Phase 1 armour had going for it, for all it was bulkier and less adaptable to varied terrain. He supposed the Republic had had to cut costs somewhere. Waxer would’ve been whining by now that his ass was so hot they could light a flare off it. Potshot was young enough that he’d never known any different.

“Good, you see anything?” Boil grunted, pinging his location anyway. There was no real reason for it; Potshot might’ve still been green but he wasn’t stupid, and he’d done well to keep up so far. Boil could stand being self aware enough to acknowledge that he hadn’t been the most welcoming, or the most patient with the new partner he’d never wanted. He wouldn’t have had any right to be overbearing now, but it was for his own comfort, however small and bittersweet.

“Nothin’ at all. That seem odd to you too?” Potshot said, as the surveillance holos he’d taken popped up. Boil flipped through them, earmarking a couple to show him how to improve the angle later. The important shit was all there - enough to confirm what he’d already suspected. No birds, no creatures, no fresh droppings.

Just the bugs, and the trees, and them.

“Yeah, it’s odd alright. Think we’ve found what the general’s looking for.”

Boil felt pressure around his right boot and turned, vibroblade in hand, to stab into the fleshy vine knotting round it. It writhed and retreated, leaving behind pitted, smoking trails where acid had started eating into the plastoid. He registered the damage with a dull sort of annoyance. It was something else to take care of later, a way to look busy and shape the silence. It would fend off the others and their offers of company, made out of pity he couldn’t bear to look at.

“Really? What’re you seein’, boss?” Potshot asked.

Boil glanced upwards to track the position of the sun; high, almost directly overhead. At the peak of the day this place should have been teeming. Instead the only tracks he’d found had been baked solid, and this wasn’t the shocked quiet that followed a stampede. It was stagnant, aging.

“This forest is in the centre of an old super-volcanic crater, right?” he asked, not waiting for a response. It had been in the mission dossier, alongside profiles of the flesh eating plants, the deadly pollen and the venomous creatures, all of it fenced into the sloped, unforgiving bowl of the terrain. It was the kind of forest that stuck in the mind. “And we know that something has driven the wildlife away.”

Potshot hummed, the comm muffling for a second as he shifted. It took a moment of bitter disappointment coiling in Boil’s belly for him to realise that he’d been waiting for a sharp quip that wasn’t coming. He swallowed thickly, wondering how it was possible to feel so wrongfooted while lying down. If he’d ever find his balance again. If he ever wanted to feel whole now that such a fundamental piece was missing.

Potshot groaned suddenly. “Kriff it, the factories we’re looking for are underground, aren’t they?”

Boil forced a chuckle, choking past the self hatred clawing up through his lungs. The kid deserved better, deserved a superior who didn’t constantly treat him like a ghost.

“That’s it, kid. Just like the simulations, eh?”

Potshot laughed, the easy sound making Boil’s throat seize in longing so strong his teeth ached. Waxer would’ve loved him, and that made it all the worse.

“Hardly. What do we do next?”

“Alright,” Boil said, lifting the viewfinder for one last look at where he could see slight fog rising through the trees. “You get your ass back to forward command and debrief the General, I’m heading in for a closer look.”

“ What? But - Sir! We’re supposed to be working as a team. I can’t leave you -”

“Sometimes working as a team means you do your duty and trust the others to do theirs.” He cut in, keeping his voice steady by force of will. Sometimes, it meant carrying on alone. Boil clipped the viewfinder back into place and prepared to move, even as Potshot continued protesting. Boil didn’t answer for long enough that silence fell on the line.

“...am I not performing to the standard expected, Sir?”

Potshot’s voice was soft, all vulnerable underbelly. Still so shiny, and Boil remembered feeling like that, like there was still a scorecard constantly on his forehead.

“No - kid -” Boil sighed, dropping his head forward. He’d never learned how to be gentle - it hadn’t ever come naturally, and there had been no reason to lose his sharp edges when Waxer had always been there to foil them for him. He felt sharper now than ever, full of shards that didn’t sit right, and fished among the pieces for something his brother might have said. “I trust you to have my back. You’re doing everything right. But...sometimes we’ve gotta think of the mission. We need more proof before we can move in, but the two of us get caught, command loses what we already know.”

“Can’t we just send a comm?” Potshot asked, his voice still tight and hurt sounding and he was fucking this up, shouldn’t have been trusted to try to fix himself without breaking everyone else wide open in the process.

“Don’t trust it not to get intercepted,” Boil said, which was only half a lie, and would have made Cody scoff at the back to front over-caution. “And it don’t all fit in a comm. They’ll need everything you can remember to plan the advance.”

Potshot sighed, but when he spoke again his voice was looser. “...Yes, Sir. I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t,” Boil said, feeling his own chest lighten. “If you don’t hear from me by 1100 then raise me on the priority channel.”

He listened until Potshot had stated a reluctant affirmative and clicked off the line, then bellied out of the undergrowth and headed further in, to the epicentre of the unnatural quiet. He liked the way his mind went silent on recon, how everything else fell away. It wasn’t quite the same, tilted just a little off axis, but similar enough to when it had been Waxer at his six that if he didn’t think about it, he could almost trick himself into believing nothing had changed.

Plus, the space was good, just for a few minutes, where he didn't have to pretend for anyone.

It was a quiet journey, for the most part, punctuated only by the steps he couldn’t quite muffle. His thoughts were broken some time later when he suddenly heard it; the distant mechanical boom of something deep underground. He quickened his pace, following the vibrations until the earth under his feet grew hot, the air shimmering unnaturally in front of him. It had been like this at Point Rain, when the sand baked and glinted, glass-like, under the blaze of the overhead sun. If he hadn’t known the super-volcano was very thoroughly extinct, he could have kidded himself that it was just the geothermal energy of magma moving close to the surface. A clever disguise. But not clever enough.

The ground sloped ever downwards the further into the bowl he got. He watched where he placed his feet as it grew rockier, stones and small craters acting like pitfall traps concealed by the moss. Boil pinged his scanner every minute, searching for Seppie probes as the terrain tapered, falling away into a green-rimmed yawning abyss. Set into the centre of it was a huge grate, the source of the searing air. Here were the factories they’d been looking for, exactly where he’d suspected. It was a muted sort of satisfaction.

He crouched at the edge of the drop, taking holos and transmitting them directly to the Commander’s HUD. Then he checked his chrono and sent an unapologetic follow up that he’d be late to rendezvous, seeing that 1100 was about to come and go. Then he minimised the comms on his HUD to flash for priority only; he’d get bollocked for being late sooner or later, but he figured it would be novel to have it fully in person.

Finally he turned, ready to start the rapid scale back towards the 212th's forward camp, when he registered a low, keening whine.

His blaster was in his hands within a moment, trained at the knee-high leaves. The sound came again, higher this time, followed by laboured panting.

He gently brushed aside some of the foliage with his blaster barrel. Dark eyes stared at him from between the leaves. They both froze. It was some sort of animal, obviously; a mammal, probably a predator. It was small too, with paws too large for its scrawny body and a dark, downy fur that rippled with every laboured breath.

Sharp teeth. A narrow muzzle. A long, whip-like tail.

A vornskr, Boil thought, and hated how readily the identification came, how readily he tensed in anticipation of the inevitable Boil can you see - do you know how rare -

He shook the memories away, of Waxer leaning precariously over the top bunk to wave some manual Commander Gree had sent him in his face, bleating about some animal or species that Boil couldn’t pronounce. In the present the vornskr pup cowered away from him, pushing backwards on thin, spindly legs. Deceptively powerful though, he’d bet.

The creature let out another whine and stumbled, an odd abortive movement. Boil pressed more of the leaves away to get a better look and swore when he saw the brutal metal trap closed around one of its small hind legs, paring down to bone. His blaster was up and trained on the thing before he thought much about it. Better to shoot it, put it out of its misery, than prolong its suffering. It was what they did as part of the cleanup sometimes; wildlife was usually pretty good at getting out of the active battlefronts, but there were always stragglers. The too old or the too young, mostly.

Creatures like this one.

The vornskr stilled, staring at him with those big, wide eyes as if it knew exactly what he was thinking. Boil swallowed. Waxer wouldn’t have let him shoot it. Waxer also wasn’t here now to stop him, but Boil felt his arm lower all the same, just a few inches before he pulled the trigger. The vornskr yelped as the trap hinges came apart in two neat halves and immediately tried to run. It didn’t get very far before it collapsed, panting again.

Boil sighed and shook his head, holstering his blaster across his back.

“That was a stupid thing to do,” he tsked, shuffling closer.

He kept half an eye on the tail, remembering something about it being venomous. While being high off his ass on some unknown substance had the potential to make Cody’s dressing down more interesting, it might also kill him before he got there.

The vornskr growled as he leaned over it, baring needle sharp teeth, and made a snap at him when Boil reached out.

“Ah, give over,” he muttered, batting the attempt away. The little body was light in his hands as he lifted it, careful to let the injured leg hang out as he folded it into his chest. The vornskr made an odd, throaty sound and shifted, almost experimental. Then it huffed, and after a pause laid its head across his vambrace.

Boil rolled his eyes at the display, setting off towards forward command as soon as he was halfway sure he wasn’t in danger of losing a finger.

It was...nice, to have that little body cradled to him, reminiscent of better occasions when Waxer just had to stick his nose into every curious happening and inevitably adopted some struggling lifeform. However much Boil had complained, it had never steered them wrong.

When he got back to command it was to find Cody pacing the perimeter, Potshot perched on a crate nearby. The Commander’s bucket was under his arm. Boil winced. With Cody that was never an accident - usually so he could get the full weight of a glare in, the excavating kind he’d learned from Kenobi and then weaponised so that it pierced straight down to bone.

“Boss!” Potshot exclaimed, pushing off his seat. “You made it!”

“What time d’you call this?” Cody demanded, stalking over. “I was about to -”

Cody stopped short, gaze dropping to the furry bundle against Boil’s breastplate. Something in his expression softened and Boil felt in his heart, panicking as a lump rose in his throat.

“What’s that?” Cody asked.

Boil let his gaze slide downwards to a point far beyond, where two troopers were fighting over a tarp.

“Found it in a trap,” he said, his voice ragged. “Couldn’t - couldn’t let it die.”

He flicked his eyes back to Cody’s face and breathed through the grief and understanding he found there. Cody stepped forward and clasped Boil’s elbow.

“I’m sure Tranq will be able to do something for it.” A little upturn crept into the line of Cody’s lips. “Debrief in fifteen.”

Boil nodded and broke away, tipping his head to Potshot before clearing his throat roughly and popping his bucket off one-handed as he made his way to the medtent. The sun was warm on his face here, the air lighter. A butterfly flew lazily past and the vornskr lifted its head, tracking the motion with large, interested eyes.

Boil smiled, hoisting his bucket under one arm and daring to touch the creature's head with his freed hand. It wouldn’t ever bring Waxer back, but it meant something that this little life continued, because of the choices his brother would have made and all that he had been. Like the phantom touch of the sun still lingering in cooling earth.

It wouldn’t ever be enough. But, perhaps, it was just the right amount to cling onto.

-

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