#(well. to a reasonable degree.)
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Me, watching some YJS fans justify what Shauna did to Mari by using clips of Mari and Jackie giggling in s1 (normal teenage girl things), or Mari speaking the truth and trying to take Jackie's jacket (even though it was the middle of winter and the group were already sharing clothes), with said fans saying that they've would've done worse to Mari in response, acting like that makes them any better:
#yellowjackets spoilers#yellowjackets#like this fandom continues to disappoint me#“she's traumatized” not an excuse especially since she specifically was targeting mari for the thrill and dehumanized her body after#something in which she hadn't done to the other kills mind you and then wore mari's hair as a trope#*trophy#that is beyond being traumatized and just shauna being horrific. it's okay to admit that#what isn't okay however is to dismiss valid criticism (largely from poc fans) about how dehumanizing it was that she did to mari#by saying “women can't commit wrongs” or “let women be wrong” when you know damn well that isn't the case#(or are you mad that you can't live out your violent fantasy thru shauna without being called out? hmm)#and all the reasons those fans use to justify it are just mari being 1.) a teenage girl 2.) being truthfully honest and 3.) worse sins have#been committed by the other characters like SHAUNA#when you bring up how shauna slept jeff and got pregnant by her best friend's boyfriend it's just “oh teenage girl things”#but when mari is also doing “teenage girl things” one which includes being shady and a bit mean suddenly that excuse no longer applies#largely bc fandom often times doesn't sympathize much with poc characters as they do their yte counterparts#especially if they're young#shauna shipman#mari ibarra#anti shauna shipman#if i ever said that shauna was one of my faves i take it back SO HARD#shauna's ass crying back in the adult tl like she's innocent....i need her to die#but watch the show give her a graceful send out bc it's the shauna show (even tho it's an ensemble cast)#it's kind of annoying to see these fans use lottie as a comparison saying that people care about mental illness as long as the person#doesn't react violently like shauna and while to a degree i can understand bc that is true#in this case it kind of falls flat when you take into consideration how in the show and fandom lottie and her mental state haven't been#treated with the same response or care that shauna has (lottie is beaten brutally while experiencing an episode by shauna)#and it's done dirty throughout the show until her death with only really simone speaking up angrily against how she's portrayed#(same people who are justifying shauna lashing out in anger regarding her trauma were the same ones who were hating on travis in s1 & s2)
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man can I just say how adorable Wolf's interaction with Delia in the wedding scene is? When she's explaining her situation he gives her the most understanding looks and it's because they both effectively had the same cause of death. Delia turned her mourning of Charles into part of her performance art, and died from being scammed with asps who were NOT defanged. Wolf wanted to deliver the most authentic performance possible and died from presumably a negligent armorer who didn't bother to check if the grenade was live or not before shooting. both of them were quite literally killed by their art (not by their own faults to be fair but from someone else's irresponsibility). and it's kind of lovely Delia got such a sympathetic escort back to the netherworld who knows her situation firsthand probably better than anyone else
it's weirdly wholesome and empathetic even as their situations were both played for morbid laughs, and if Delia didn't have eyes only for Charles (what's left of him) and Wolf wasn't in a committed relationship with Janet I'd even say I could have seen things going somewhere between them
#beetlejuice beetlejuice#beetlejuice beetlejuice spoilers#delia deetz#wolf jackson#i do think though that she might have wound up getting a job in his office after the movie#i don't buy the theory entirely that she and charles went straight to the great beyond#because until lydia and astrid sorted the asp situation out and profited appropriately from her art i don't think she'd want to move on#plus she promised to haunt them as long as she could#and you know charles wouldn't leave without her#but I absolutely could see her getting a job with the afterlife crimes unit investigating fraud or something#(beej is probably her first case lmao)#not going to lie these thoughts are a big reason i fell in love with wolf he is fundamentally a good dude#just kind of full of himself but he means well#meta#related to the essay I teased on an earlier reblog today#all this is part of those thoughts but I needed to scream into the void NOW#late addition to these tags I do actually ship Delia/Wolf to a degree it's just not a ship I could see happening in movie canon#because she loves her husband so much#but hey Delia's chill maybe she and Charles are open to a polycule setup
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im so fucking mad. why did i work so hard on this. there isnt even a single gay bitch in this image all i have is latticework and osmanthus studies
#arts#mottau#i mean i did enjoy drawing it. but also what the fuck#this is even sy's actual room yet this is a concept design for a room he will get later#like this is vaguely something i started drawing to conceptualize certain aspects of omega room design in this setting#but like at this point i could have explained more in three regular sentences#due to the potency of an omega's scent particularly in their living quarters certain aspects of their rooms are specially tailored#to contain their scent to the more personal parts of their living space. one could think of it as degrees of intimacy#with their bed area being the place their scent is allowed to fully saturate the space. the room divider here encloses the furniture needed#for dressing and whatnot as well for similar reasons and the curtain falling over it mimicking the canopy of the bed serves two functions#partially trapping in the scent and also adding an additional layer of 'hiding' to the nest area which makes it feel more secure#see? three sentences. that took five minutes to explain#i mean certainly the art looks niceys and all but im just so fucking perplexed. why did i do that
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me seeing the dark sun theory with him being eclipse and sun merged and im like
Ur missing a lot here but gjkbdv I think this also can stem from the fact of how Dark Sun feels about Moons. Like the merged video, that Moon? Didn't want to hurt or even kill him. Just 'Youre having a moment ur still getting used to this. ur baby' Basically having more patience and perceptive immediately to that not being the Sun he knew. But not hateful. Just 'Yeah ill call monty over here but this might be fine'. Like the Eclipse half is now at front of releasing that anger plus with Sun's? Yeah theyre gonna get aggressive real quick but I'd say it'd burn thru fast. clearly it was early enough before they made the channel and almost after being seperated. Early enough that now this Solstice being here can bite back and Moon will have to handle yeah thats... not a piece of code he left in there but thats still his brother even if theyre new. Dark Sun while not always one for truth I'd say would've been pushed to his absolute limit as a Sun. We've seen Moon's who are just... straight up negligent and terrible. And I'm a firm believer he got to where he was just being on his own as a Sun. One who's own bias towards moons really did just fuel getting his own happy end and other Suns (one who didnt... even need the help?) fates.
That kinda hate just.. while Eclipse has every bit of that its more stemmed in abandonment- It feels different with Dark Sun. It feels far more Sun vs Moon. More deep seated loathing that feels far more personal to a Sun. If that makes sense.
#not to downplay eclipses who everything but it just feels like different motivation and reasoning for their hate twoards moons#like eclipse just hated HIS moon that bled onto nexus but that was more...#clone attacking clone (eclipse v2 once moon was reset?? like... u could tell some of that resentment was just had no where to really go)#like he really just... went 'oh...' when new moon basically jsut went 'idont even know who u are??' vs v4 where it was just memories inplan#and it was like shoved into being and dealing with all that at once of course he was pissed#Dark Sun? equated to every Moon. made Absolute sure most suffered#manipulated things ti such a degree to seperate nexus from his family that his family fucked up as well dude made sure he was isolated#like dude has ISSUES with moons that even if they didnt do anything theyre still gonna get something BAD from dark sun#tsams talk#anyway im seeing that theory and i think itd just take away what dark sun really is#and sighs at knowing the show and taking known theories
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rough draft screenshot from page 59
good ol demise and hylia fight (changed her horn design slightly so it makes a little more sense and is easier to draw)
#ganondoodles#zelda#art#wip#i mean .. the entire story is realyl demise and hylia fight#in varying degrees and types of fight#and well#story#dw theres calm chapters too#but alot of their entire conflict is a very physical conflict#and i feel like thats also a reason why these chapters keep getting so long#...tho also bc the way i do comics is just#lots of big panels and everythign needs to be clear bc i need everyone to be able to read what is happening#.....and i like taking it slow#as in theres also alot of panels where no one talks OR fights#anyway#approaching the chapter end at last#im confident i can at least start posting the fully rendered pages this year still#..................its been taking me so long..........#still going though :D
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the fun thing about crippling imposter syndrome and ridiculously prolonged delayed gratification is that they do this cool combo move where they invent an especially ominous form of anxiety that is insidious and subliminal but reaches into me through to the tips of my fingers like an evil little poison impossible to ignore but also impossible to detect except in the way my jaw aches in the morning and the way i find myself unironically saying "this is the longest week ever" on a forking monday afternoon
#HELPPPPPP is it march 17 yet. HELP!!!! HELPPPPP HELP HELPhELP#this is a post about residency match. i WILL throw up if i think too hard about it#it's been so long since interview season that i can't remember the feeling of#'that went pretty well! i think they liked me! i feel good about myself!' even if rationally i know that i had those feelings at the time#the only thing left is repeated informational emails about what to do if you don't match#and the 13% of ppl who didn't match w the same number of interviews as me last year#and there is nowhere for me to seek validation that i'm overreacting bc this whole system is so nebulous and unpredictable#by the time march 17 rolls around i'll be so pessimistic that the expectation will be 'now i can start planning for re-applying'#which is such an insane thing to do. obviously it happens to people but to EXPECT it to happen with my application is kind of stupid#And Yet Here I Am#help.#it's fine. objectively i think my chances are reasonably high. i should be excited for friday.#i WILL be excited for friday if monday goes well. i just want to know NOW if monday is gonna go well bc this feeling is only getting worse#it's fine. thanks for reading. on the bright side it's 65 degrees today! gonna take a walk and then play biddy games and try to forget lmao#trust me you will all know how it goes on monday :)#text#nova shh#personal#academia#struggle bus
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#I do not want to hustle and some of my most beloved people do not understand this#I was talking to my honorary big sister on the phone today about why I'm taking a gap year#the main reason is that the final semester of the program I was accepted into is around 50 hours per week of unpaid field work#which means you aren't allowed to have a job during that semester. this information was not presented until after the application process#anyway she was like “well that's fairly normal for healthcare professions” which is true#however this is a community college program and I would have expected them to account for people needing to work throughout college#anyway I responded “yeah true but I'm considering that maybe healthcare isn't for me then. I don't want a job that requires that much work.#And I don't! I don't want 50 or 60 hour work weeks! I want to work 40 hours and then leave and live my life!#but she made it seem like any job that requires a college degree is going to require that. And I don't think that's true#but also she is older than I am and has much more job experience so idk.#maybe she's advising based on the fact that as a teenager I was super type A and ambitious and really wanted a career?#whereas in the past couple years...idk I just want a reliable job that I don't hate that pays the bills and leaves time for enjoying life#so. I'm not sure#And now I kind of feel bad for not having that ambition anymore/ not wanting to have to give myself ulcers to get through school#But college is not worth my sanity and I found that out the hard way.#And I also feel bad for not being one of those people who CAN handle that much workload! Like I can certainly learn#to do more than I'm doing currently#but I will never be one of those constantly busy and insanely productive people. And I don't even want to be anymore#and yet that feels like an error.#I am not lazy! I used to think I was but no. I enjoy getting work done and doing personal projects and going to work and improving things.#It's not even as though I don't have things I want to do with my life. I have a lot of short term and long term goals!#I want to contribute to my community and support my family however I can and make art and tell stories and be a safe place for people!#and so much else!#but those ambitions aren't necessarily directly connected to school or a job for me anymore#and I value rest and having a social life too much to completely put my health on hold for years and years#sure college does take up a lot of time and energy but it shouldn't wholly consume your life as far as I can see.#and now I feel very unsure if that approach is realistic.#thinking I should talk with her again and try to explain myself a little better and ask what she meant.#diary
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I'm not ready to shut up about Aveline and Carver--so, when you go see Aveline in Act 1, you can catch up with her a little bit and that's where this conversation can happen:
Aveline: "It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?" Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.
I wanted to see what she would say if Carver isn't in the party. Instead, she says this:
Aveline: Carver was there. I imagine he feels something similar. If he allows it.
......well, at least she didn't call him a tit?
#dragon age 2#da2#carver hawke#aveline vallen#she's slightly nicer to him when he's not there but she's still like 'maybe he feels something similar but probably pretends not to'#like i'm not gonna pretend that carver doesn't bottle any feelings--he doesn't openly talk about bethany a lot for a reason#but to suggest he pretends to be unfeeling about things like ostagar is incorrect like he CLEARLY feels a lot about it#because he associates the battle at ostagar with losing his home and sister to the darkspawn#after playing as a warrior hawke who is best friends with aveline i do have a little more insight into why she might think this about carve#when hawke is a warrior they were at ostagar. they share that traumatic experience with aveline and if they're friends#they discuss it in a way that i think aveline *wants* y'know? but with carver he doesn't respond the way she wants him to#so she gets frustrated since even if she tried to talk to hawke about it... hawke wasn't there. hawke doesnt KNOW what ostagar#was like but carver does... but it's like aveline is ready to assume the worst of carver a lot of the time?#like 'carver doesn't talk about it because he's a tit who pretends not to feel' is the vibe i get from this but aveline...#that's like calling you a tit because you don't want to openly discuss all your feelings about your dead husband#listen aveline and carver are so similar but they have such key differences like they both survived the horror of ostagar#and lost a loved one to darkspawn while fleeing lothering AND they both blame hawke for it to a degree#even though they both know that's not right and that it wasn't really hawke's fault#they're both stubborn warriors with daddy issues looking to find their place#and when it comes to flirting? well i don't think carver's as bad as aveline#but i played MotA i know all about 'you could tame its wild heart'#but the key differences come in how they the end the game y'know? especially if carver's on the friendship path as a warden#i still haven't made him a templar but something tells me he ends up more on the same road as aveline#vs when he's a grey warden and able to be away from kirkwall and find a place on his own#y'all i could write a whole essay on aveline and carver but i paused my game to write this so i should go back to that sksksk
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Maybe requestober prompt of soft?
Day 5 - Pile o' plushies
#My art#Requestober#Webkinz#Original#Tala#A whole big bunch of plushies! Everyone here is a plush! ♥#Or well I guess Embroidery (Floppy Eared Bunny) isn't she's a digital pet but everyone else is!#Tala lives on the same shelf as my Webkinz - or at least the one's that I've got on display#Some are still lost in the shuffle - specifically my horses for some reason?? What's with that#Sapphire (lilKinz Unicorn) at least makes some degree of sense since she's so small but I found Duke and Halloween!#(Which are the lilKinz Basset Hound and Oriole respectively - isn't it fun that certain birds were lilKinz exclusives hehe)#Of the group she's the only one missing tho - everyone else is here and now!#Got all the full sized 'Kinz on one side - Sugar (Googles) Fluffy (Pink Poodle) and Diamond (B+W Cat) were my first three <3#Although lol I never got to play with Diamond digitally because her gift-giver wasn't familiar with the concept so got rid of her tag#Someday tho!#I've recently gotten back into Webkinz (again lol) and brought smol with me this time :)#It's been fun! Though it's had me itching to go shopping for codes and plushies again lol#There's one Webkinz that looks Kind of similar to Tala's plush form but I've never owned it so I opted to just leave her as herself#It might be fun to see if I could get that one and have her in-game haha#Webkinz are definitely her jam :) She's fully adopted Mimzy (Whimsy Dragon) as well!#I don't hold out a lot of hope of recovering my old account at this point but I would like to recreate my old cast if I can#Several are available in the eShop! Or at least aren't retired so#Plus the thrill of the hunt is fun >:3c#But just the thought of play is enjoyable ♪ Of the rest and softness hehe <3
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getting a little maybe irritated at how often i see autistic will being refuted because he "made himself out to be that way to avoid attention" ... ??? that's autistic. going out of his way to make yourself appear weird and unsociable so you can avoid socializing is. extremely autistic. lying and exaggerating about yourself out of fear of people getting too close and realizing youre a bad person is extremely autistic. the show honestly backpedals on will's empathy half the time, acting like it is only applicable when it comes to his job, but frequently showing that it isn't. in the first episode, hannibal literally notices his face getting red because they're near two people who are arguing. he's not exaggerating or faking his nightmares, his inability to deattach himself from others. yeah, he's got a complicated psychological profile that autism doesn't entirely cover or explain. that doesn't mean he's not still autistic. his person suit, the person he presents himself as to others, the choice to do that autistic masking. even if part of his masking is hiding behind being autistic in hopes it will make him less favorable to others and not further inspected, that is autistic masking. i think it is so insanely annoying that just because a character wasn't written with the intent in mind doesnt mean you cant accidentally write a valid representation of something anyways. fuller didn't intend on hannigram becoming as romantic as it did, but understood that it came along with the subtext anyways. acting like hes completely above fitting criteria of mental illness because he's "fictional" and has a "fictional" disorder that HIGHLY exemplifies autism is. incredibly stupid. and boring
#“his autism is fake and he uses it to protect himself” okay buddy well he seems pretty autistic to me even after that so idk#i guess hes faking his intense specific interests that he maintains when hes completely alone#i guess the ridiculous efforts he goes to to mask and hide himself from others out of fear of them getting close. is just for fun#like he can have his evil other thing going on and also be super fucking autistic about how hes handling it#also!!! kind of think its disgusting to say “oh he was pretending to be autistic to seem weaker”. . okay.#weird fucking perspective#he subconsciously mirrors the people around him even when theres no real benefit to it#his sense of justice is extremely strong which is why he is so perturbed by his violent inclinations#like. you know autistic people can also be manipulative and psychotic and kill people and commit crime. right#its important to me that you know that#hes neurodivergent and i just think its stupid to look at someone who obviously has a comorbid thing going on#and go well! hes completely undiagnosable and inscrutable!!!!!!!!#and like sorry to bryan fuller but the perspective that hes not autistic seems to come from a. severe misunderstanding of asd#like for some reason hyperempathy is the OPPOSITE of autism. like . no it comes with your fucking xbox actually#obviously theyre written with human complexity that would make them difficult to fully diagonse or understand#autistic people arent a list of check boxes. we simply have recurring traits that present differently based on choice and circumstance#im talking in circles atp. hes autistic. idgaf#if you wanna disagree with me on some narrative moral high ground about how crazy complex it is and hes actually yadada#door. im good man#hannibal#will graham#charlieog#cant be autistic if youre faking being a better person than you are#cant be autistic if you try to shape yourself into harmlessness for fear of your violent desires#cant be autistic if youre hyperaware of social interaction and try to use it to protect yourseld#while simultaneously not entirely understanding how normal people interact anyways#cant be autistic if you're prone to manipulation and constantly shifting degrees of empathy for others#starts bashing my head into the wall
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ik im like known for getting Really Mad at ppl who go against fandom etiquette but theres one exception to this rule and its to never say anything negative about a free media cause
1. certain media such as mcyt may be free sure but theres an undeniable amount of influence And money if they set things up properly that creators can benefit from
2. ive seen spaces that adhere to this rule really strictly turn into toxic cesspools where everybody is afraid to speak their mind thanks to harassment
3. i just dont think anything is above critique, i mean sure be reasonable about it like for example commenting on a fanfic about how you dont like something that is purely subjective is a bit much and quite frankly really rude but in general to say that you can only say nothing but nice things about something implies that its ontologically perfect and i dont like that
you can say it the hater in me but not really, im perfectly capable of hating in private, i just dont like spaces im in turning into an echo chamber thats all
#like ik there may be ppl who think its a stupid move#but this is the reason why i dont Immediately block ppl#well that + believe it or not im actually perfecly fine seeing opinions that i heavily disagree with even to a hating degree#its just that i tend to just ignore them lol#mine.txt#my posts
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Can we talk about the fact that Luna slept over in Aylin’s room once for a project to get Ongsa and Sun closer, and then invented a fresh project for Aylin immediately following that and invited herself over for the “next few days?”
#aylinluna#lunaaylin#23.5 degrees#23.5 the series#23.5#23.5 องศาที่โลกเอียง#my girl really said well I’m just gonna move in with you#and invent plausible reasons for your family to let me stay#I don’t think kissing is what most people think of when you’re helping someone be more social Luna#your game is strong though#girlboss your way into that relationship
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one of my favorite senarios to imagine to put yukio in is sending him 10 years into the future (with the exwires usually) and everyone from their class are like chill adults including himself working their boring ass exorcist job and hes trying to assert dominance over them as the teacher™ but they're all like bro why so serious?
#somehow in my future au i accidently made only the boys active exorcists im so sorry to all the women in aoex#they all passed but i think shiemi and izumo would leave to persue other passions but still be in ajacent fields#like shiemi still runs her exorcist shop#idk what izumo does maybe she still is an exorcist but shes on leave trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life#cuz so much of her adolescence was focused vengence for her family i think she would be kinda lost as an adult#ive said this a bunch of times but rin isnt actually an exorcist for the same reason izumo isnt#ive been kinda muddy on my own timeline but either he passed and left or he dropped out of school and ran away#i think hes like an independent demon slayer like a contract worker#so he still is basically an exorcist but not sanctioned by the vatican like as part of a mercenary guild or something#but he can still take exorcist missions if he wants to but usually its not worth it so he just helps out yukio or bon on their missions#i think after being a literal terrorist yukio got demoted and lost his license for a bit so hes still the same rank as he is now#but now hes medicated and he went to therapy#he has like no memory of highschool to almost a concerning degree and hes generally pretty muted but is still well liked#bon had a completely normal exorcist experience against all odds actually so did koneko except koneko went back to the myoda#and then shima got scouted for his amazing spy skills and works overseas#sorry shima ur not allowed to be an idol that might be the trigger for the bad end#anyway i think teen yukio would hate adult yukio because he thinks hes not allowed to be normal and happy#this is like the 4th time ive made this post like i said its one of my favorites#the reverse is rin going to the past and like tutoring the exorcist class#nobody wants to do yukio psychoanalysis but me so i gotta step up to the plate#jk theres a lot of good yukio fanfics#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#yukio okumura#rin okumura
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sometimes I forget that when I was 7 my house and all of our possessions were destroyed in an accidental house fire that left us homeless for quite a long time. alongside other life changing traumatic events outside of my control that may have had a negative impact on my mental health as a whole. and I feel better because oh yeah there's reasons why I feel insane in the brain half the time. it is, in fact, NOT a punishment from God explicitly for being Not Good Enough. unfortunate Events were even happening after the fire if you could believe it. such is life
#i try not to think about my life earlier than high school for multiple reasons but i truly be repressing that shit#high school was significantly better in many ways and also significantly worse in others.#college was hard but it ruled compared to this#2020 post degree . well imagine covid plus living in florida plus moving back in with your parents plus absolutely no job in your field#for three years#well anyway im doing very good right now and have had a stable job for almost 4 months and a girlfriend as well
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In many ways paying for college these days is just paying for the privilege of pretending the real world doesn’t exist for 4 more years
You’re surrounded by friends constantly. Family only exists when you need or miss them, not when they need you. You make net zero dollars every week and that’s okay bc you’re not in the red and why would you need savings?
#and I say that as someone who worked 15-25 hrs a week throughout the entirety of college and grad school#like never again are you at a point in your life where hemorrhaging savings or actively going into debt is an acceptable part of the proces#yes there is rent and food and phone bills but not saving for retirement or in case an emergency happens#I’m aware this refers to a privileged version of the 4 year college experience as well#but considering scholarships are the only reason I didn’t go to a community college and transfer to finish my degree…
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give me your headcanons for a minecraft server with the fmab kids
#im talking ed al winry paninya mei lan fan ling (+ greed v2 honorary dumbass child on account of being 6 months old and lings bestie)#im literally just bored right now but also if i like them enough im putting them in my modern au fic#bc im like “these guys NEED to play minecraft”#al and mei having a cottagecore base that you think is just a cutesy building#but theyve dug out a million blocks and there is a shit ton of minecraft breaking nonsense down there#lan fan is NOT a pvp master like youd except but she IS a hardcore girlie and she grinds for hours for the best gear#paninya has minor griefing tendencies and shes the reason ppl build elaborate vaults#winry is a redstone genius but she often doesnt use this for good#(god forbid she teaches paninya tnt cannons)#ed does a lot of modding but mostly just to adjust his hitbox and make himself taller than everyone#ling loves parkour (finally he can jump out of windows without breaking his legs!) and you can usually find him on hypixel ect#if not hes off advancement hunting and dragging along whoevers online#greed goes mining for hours. just like a straight tunnel. he steals lan fans shulker boxes so he can go mining for longer#he wants stacks and stacks of e v e r y t h i n g and winry tries to make a self sorting storage room for him but he fills it too fast#all of them are varying degrees of builder as well but al and lan fan are the only ones actually good at it#fuck whoops my hand slipped i didnt mean to make headcanons#STILL TAG YOURS i would love to read them even if they are the exact opposite of mine#fmab#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#edward elric#winry rockbell#paninya#alphonse elric#lan fan#ling yao#greed the avaricious#greedling#headcanons#moss' madness
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